#it's just.... saying you like my writing repeatedly without actually writing with me at some point just... makes me feel bad ig
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longagoitwastuesday · 3 months ago
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Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff
#jjk spoilers#All the prettiest characters were brought back from apparent death#Nobara was okay and it's true that when I read the lawyer's and Kusakabe's fights against Sukuna I thought it was being kept vague#but to pull a Nobara with all of them... idk#No one stays dead here except for the people who actually care for the kids and by that I mean 'including Yuuji'#kinda lowkey bitter about it#Don't get me wrong I like the characters and also they're super pretty but idk It makes death feel cheap? And the high stakes kinda fake?#Choso Gojo and Nanami actual only characters who died apparently#Well. Poor Itadori#And Kusukabe goes and runs his mouth that way in front of the kid. He is not entirely wrong but also he very much is#And yes he also says 'don't worry it's not for you to feel guilty over anything you're just kids' but also he did very much say that thing#about it all being Gojo's fault for not killing Itadori. In front of Itadori who feels guilty for that precisely#and in front of Megumi who asked Gojo to spare him and also went through the experience of Sukuna using his body as well#So Kusukabe's reassurance about them just being kids and not to feel guilty falls a bit empty#It does feel in character but man it truly makes one appreciate the way Gojo and Nanami dealt with the kids a lot more haha#Ui Ui seems like a dear#Anyway... this chapter felt a bit lame for the most part for me? I like the idea of the characters discussing the could have/would have#and feeling guilt and helplessness over their choices but the way it was done felt a bit lame and without any real emotional punch#It felt more like an explanation to the reader in an awkward way. And there's a lot of empty chat about guilt and grief#without any of the characters really giving off a grieving air about everything and everyone they've lost#And this is precisely what I felt was going to happen with this manga's writing haha#I truly don't understand this kind of writing choices. Contrary to some other shonen writers this author did seem to have the potential#to write this kind of thing well besides the worldbuilding and powers and fight stuff. It's truly a pity. It so breaks my heart#And still this is considered one of the good shonens. Well. WELL haha#I do think shonen can be good! I just think it falls almost always even when there's potential into bery shallow writing#I don't know. Maybe I should read that one Alchemist manga#I've been repeatedly told that one's good and it does seem like it doesn't do... this. But I find the art style so not to my linking#I wish I had never gotten into JJK for real for real. I absolutely adore it. I always end up frustrated. It could be so good. Genuinely good#And yet it's just okay in a sort of forgettable way. What a pity#Everything good ever is present but it never dares do anything to fully explore what it sets. It just does the typical shonen stuff
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alexandriteobscuraarchive · 2 years ago
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((I've done a few of these today, I know, but I'm going to get one last blog interaction reminder out of my system rq. I'm coming from a good/positive place with this (although if I'm being honest it can be a source of upset/frustration if I'm having anxiety, that isn't the case here so don't worry!) and hopefully afterwards I'll be able to do actual ic content after work and whatnot. I appreciate everyone who reads this and makes the attempt to understand where I'm coming from.
Compliments are nice and I truly do appreciate each and every one. I know you guys mean well whether we interact or not but please don't let compliments be the only way you engage with me. Again I have to stress that I appreciate them but at the end of the day if that's the only thing you send in it begins to feel a bit.... hollow for lack of a better term and I hate feeling that way about something that's coming from a genuine place. If you truly like what I do that much then let's shift focus and actually turn it into legitimate ic engagement. Tell me you like something; a muse, a plot, a vibe, whatever else, and then let's work on writing that thing, no matter what it is, together. I love y'all but at the end of the day I don't want people who just stay on the sidelines and occasionally say something nice, I want you to fuckin jump in here with me.
You like a muse? Prompt them.
You like a muse but don't know how to approach them for whatever reason? Tell me and I'll help you.
You like multiple muses but can't decide who to interact with first? Guess what babe, you're getting the party platter and 24/7 muse service.
You aren't sure about a muse for whatever reason? I'll teach you about them/help you figure out if they're right for you.
There are literally no limits whatsoever and honestly? At the end of the day I'm here to write with people, whatever it takes. Again: I'm here to write WITH people rather than just for or around them. If you can muster up the nerve to send me ooc love then surely you can do it ic as well, all it takes is a shift in perspective, priority, focus, whatever word you'd like to use. Engaging ooc is great but I want you to actually engage from an ic standpoint just as much and all I'm asking is that you guys keep that in mind because it's incredibly important.))
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tender-rosiey · 1 year ago
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smack, smack — gojo satoru x f!reader
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a/n: special thanks to the beautiful @stinkyme for inspiring me to actually write this and for fangirling over the idea with me <3
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gojo satoru, like any dad, got his fair share of ‘bullying’ from his daughter, his 5 months old baby.
some dads get peed on, others get their hair pulled, and others get their nose bitten on the daily. it's a little something to make them suffer a bit like the mothers had to during the pregnancy.
your husband, however, is always getting smacked in the face whenever he has his blindfold on, and I mean harshly smacked in the face and unforgiving scratching.
the first time it happened was when he was going to school. he was ready, uniform on and everything, but he simply had to say goodbye to his two girls.
skipping to your shared bedroom, he placed two big smooches on your face. then, after much of pulling him off you, he went to smooch his little girl. a big unmatched grin was on his face as he looked down at her in her crib.
he picked her up, cooing softly at her, “what a pretty girl, just as pretty as your mama, huh?”
satoru then laid her gently against his chest and started rocking her softly, while humming. after a while, he felt her stir a little in his arms. she sleepily looks up at him, and he smiles down at her, “good morning, baby—“
now, your daughter was used to seeing her dad without the blindfold. she was used to getting met by her dad's bright blue eyes.
so when a strange unknown man was holding her up instead of her papa, she started wailing and screaming, repeatedly smacking him in the face.
whenever her little—strong—hand landed on the blindfold, she would try to pull it off with all her baby might. you scrambled out of your bed at the loud screeches and screams of both your husband and your daughter.
you saw how satoru was desperately trying to, as gently as possible, make her release her grip. you stumbled on your words, before yelling, “your blindfold! take off your blindfold off!”
“I! am! trying!” he yelps as she continues slapping the hell out of his face.
you hurry and take his blindfold off, swiftly throwing it to the side. he started rocking her, smiling despite the red marks and scratches all over his handsome face, “it’s me, daddy! you see me?”
almost magically, your daughter calmed down in an instant with the occasional hiccup from her previous crying. he smiled, “there you go; that’s my girl.”
she gently made grabby hands at him, and he quickly pulled her back into his chest. your daughter instantly snuggled into his shoulder and hid her face in his neck.
you stared at him for a moment, “well, at least we know that she bloody hates that blindfold.”
it honestly kind of adds up.
you remember the many times that your daughter was generally distressed or fussy and instantly calmed down when she saw her dad’s eyes. you also remember that one time your daughter was actually zoning out while looking at satoru’s eyes, her own safe place.
satoru chuckles with a shrug, “I have you as my savior, anyway.”
“you can’t always count on me to be the one to save you from our daughter’s monstrously strong grip.”
and he can’t.
no one is brave enough to try and to fight back a baby, let alone the strongest sorcerer’s baby.
that attack happens way more than satoru would like. for example, whenever you’re busy, he takes his little princess to the school with him. in general, everyone helps in taking care of the little angel (devil in some cases).
however, god forbid she sees satoru coming back from a mission with his blindfold on.
it took some time for your husband to learn his lesson and immediately take his blindfold off before he entered the school. until then, he was prone to his daughter’s crazy strong hand smacking his face till his entire face is painted red and not the cute kind.
satoru never believed in his students to save him, except for yuuji. the first time it happened around the students, most of them were either laughing or speechless.
yuuji did try to save his sensei from his smacking machine of a daughter, but ended up getting smacked himself.
your husband did hope that, maybe, nanami’s heart would soften, and he would finally help him.
nanami’s heart did soften, just not for satoru. instead, your daughter now has a special soft spot in nanami’s heart, as he did in hers, but that isn’t our topic for today.
the amount of times you would enter the room to find nanami chuckling or smiling at your husband getting beaten to a pulp by your baby. satoru could be sobbing, “nanami, please! save me!”
and nanami would simply smile—sadistically—and hum, “I don’t think I will.”
you’re pretty sure that nanami believes this is god’s way of punishing your husband for all the mischief he caused.
ignoring that, it grips your heart how satoru’s face would brighten up the moment he saw you. he would run up to you, giving you the baby to calm her down while he gives his face a rest.
and your little girl was smiling and giving you her version of cheek kisses.
your husband recovered quickly though, and took her back, his blindfold finally off. he doesn’t do it without pecking your lips though, “my savior.”     
then he gets lost in his own world with his little girl, and their laughs and giggles filled the room. her hands were gently holding her dad’s face as she squeals, and satoru’s heart soars as he forgets about his beating from a moment ago.
now, that doesn’t mean that his dear students don’t make fun of him for always losing against his little girl. during one of the recent teasings, he simply huffed, “you never tried the grip of a baby! tell them, yuuji!”
yuuji shudders as he remembers how long the slap mark lasted, “she is one hell of a strong baby.”
it’s one thing for panda and nobara to laugh, it’s another for megumi and maki to do so as well. your husband’s ego simply couldn’t take it anymore. he took his baby in his arms and gathered the baby bags, sparing one last glance at his ‘bullies’.
and so your husband dramatically exits the room, “I need my wife! I can’t with you people anymore!”
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taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @sonder-paradise @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @starlostlaiba @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @dazaisbloodybandages @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @the-midnightskies@pianopuppygirl @gojosblackqueen @kryscent @kunikida-simp @whoami-72 @mx-0-child @fiona782 @kisakitwister @imjustasimpxd @psychopotatomeme @dreamcastgirl99 @watyousayin @doobiebochana @laylasbunbunny @hojicha-expresso @4sat0ruu @nineooooo @chuuyasboots @alekssashka7 @rieejjyubi02 @satoryaa @nothisispatrick300 @fallencrescentmoon @etheviese @ho34gojo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @the-weeping-author @stray-npc @libbyistired @anon1412 @anakalana @maehemthemisfit @satorustar @b4nka1 @sad-darksoul @ko-fi-heart @pumpkindudeishere @suyaaachin
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copyright © tender-rosiey
do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported
check out my buy me a coffee!
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comicaurora · 2 months ago
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I’ve repeatedly seen you say that you can’t read any Aurora fanfiction “for legal reasons”. I assumed this was a joke and you’d just resolved to yourself not to read any that might change where you take the story (understandable), but the more I see you say it, the more I wonder if there’s actually a legitimate legal reason. So forgive my inability to pick up on humor sometimes— is that a joke? And if it’s not, could you elaborate a bit on those reasons?
I am not a lawyer so I only have a layman's grasp of this, but as I understand it, if I read a fanfic, think "oh that's a cool idea" and consciously or unconsciously integrate it into my future work, that ensnares me and the fanfic author in a terrible tangle of mutual theft.
Technically, fanfiction exists in an extreme legal gray area, and in the early days of the internet, authors were very litigious towards their fans using their work. In the same way that Disney will get on your ass for putting Mickey Mouse in your work, any author has the same legal ownership of their characters, and they can choose to exercise it. Some famously have, like Anne Rice, but most nowadays do not. Fandom is understood to be a beneficial ecosystem for a creator to cultivate. Most creators Pretend They Do Not See It so it can continue to exist.
But suppose you wrote a fanfic about Aurora where something cool happened, and then a few chapters later, your story showed up in Aurora itself. Maybe even with some lines ripped verbatim, for even less plausible deniability. Oh shit - you've been robbed. But your story was fanfiction to begin with, only loosely permitted to exist with the understanding that you didn't own the setting or characters used. In this scenario, I stole your work, but it was work you made out of MY work in the first place. If you got mad and litigious, the legality of fanfiction itself would immediately take center stage in the argument. Do you have a right to your work when you made it out of MY work without permission? Do I have the right to take work that was made out of my work and use it without credit? The fact that I think fanfiction is a great and fun art form has no bearing on the fact that, technically, it is IP theft. And the fact that it IS IP theft has no bearing on the fact that me seeing a cool idea in a fanfic and going "mine now" would still be a shitty thing to do.
But things can get muddier. Suppose you write an Aurora fanfic where events A, B and C happen, and then over the next several chapters of Aurora, A, B and C happen. Did I steal ideas from your fanfiction? Maybe, but it's also possible that I had A, B and C planned out beforehand, and you put them in your fanfiction because you picked up the foreshadowing and prep I was putting down. You could still be mad about it, but there's a very real possibility that in this scenario the only thing I'd be guilty of was Good Foreshadowing.
In this situation, if you got mad and litigious about it, my best defense would be ignorance. I couldn't have stolen your fanfiction because I never read it. There is absolutely no chance that I was influenced by your work; I've never even laid eyes on it.
And that is why I don't read Aurora fanfiction.
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notjustjavierpena · 9 months ago
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you have returned! hope you’re doing ok! i miss husband!javi like i’m missing a limb!
this got me thinking about a request - husband!javi having to go away for a work trip for a few days - comes back and like cute family time. once the kids are in bed he just goes crazy about reader, she’s tired but she handled the kids no problem and is kind of like no big deal about it. and he’s just feral at that. she’s such a good mum and he’s so turned on and he missed her and just ugh smut
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Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator
A/N: This is a request from the 17th of October 2023. Anon, I hope you are still with us. I loved writing this for you, and I hope it lives up to your expectations. Thank you to proofreading as always @angelofsmalldeath-codeine !! thank you for hyping me @theywhowriteandknowthings and @pinkypromisepascal 💖❤️
Summary: Javier returns from a business trip after being apart from his family for three whole days.
Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)
Tags:  +18, domesticity, a happy family, javi having a baby in his arms and spending alone-time with his kids needs its own tag, i love yous, pregnancy, playful and teasing hubby, touch-starved, banter, dirty talk, finger-fucking, talk about female masturbation, pussy eating, loud reader, piv sex, riding, nipple sucking, lactation kink, javi gets off on you being the mother of his children, multiple orgasms, creampie, intense sex, bliss, pillow talk
Word count: 8k
Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54409297
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The sound of the door has you sprinting towards it. You throw your arms around Javier’s neck before he even manages to put down his bag, causing him to drop it and make a noise of concern in case its contents may end up spilling out on the floor. If you have to be completely honest, you don’t give a damn right now because you haven’t felt his embrace for nearly three whole days. 
“Hola, baby,” he says with a voice that tells you that he is smiling. He holds you close to himself, one hand reaching around your waist and the other one settling on the back of your head. He presses your body into his own, and you try to keep yourself from making a noise that reminds you of a schoolgirl. 
Javier has been on a work trip out of state. It happens from time to time that some department of the state gets the not-so-incredible idea of hiring him as a motivational speaker to make their conferences look more interesting than they actually are. Javier hates it but the money is good and his boss always ends up encouraging him in a way that mostly sounds like he has no choice. 
You hate it too. The act of sleeping in your bed alone, not feeling his body heat, and not being able to simply reach out for him if you need him, is torturous. Combined with taking care of three children alone, you find yourself slowly becoming a less-than-ideal version of yourself. It’s a stressfully romantic reminder that you can barely function without him.
“Hi,” you grin widely as you pull back to receive a kiss. You splay your palms on his chest, scratching slightly as he pecks your lips repeatedly for a moment. Your whole body feels like it is made up of butterflies fluttering around each other in a romantic dance. 
“Thank God that’s over,” he reaches for the suitcase when you finally allow him to step out of your arms. He walks into the kitchen, “They were talking through my whole fucking presentation, and the meetings afterward… I was just daydreaming about coming home to you and the kids the whole time.” 
“That bad?” You follow him around like a puppy. If you didn’t know that he would do the same thing had it been you arriving home, you would find yourself slightly pathetic for being such a fool for him. 
“I should’ve said no this time,” he says as if it had ever been an option. You nod as he continues, “I do it every year and I feel like an idiot each time.” 
“We need the money,” you argue, finally moving away from your husband to go to the living room where Sebastian is lying on a blanket. He squeals in delight at seeing you, and you pick him up with a coo. 
“We don’t need the money, we’ve got enough money,” Javier says from the kitchen. 
“Come say hi to your son,” you change the subject and hear Javier’s steps come closer.
“Oh, there he is,” Javier says and his voice switches to baby talk as you hand Sebastian to him. He settles him on his hip, bouncing slightly where he stands, “Te he extrañado tanto, mijo (I have missed you so much, my son).”
Sebastian gurgles happily up at his father. His eyes are full of recognition at the sound of the  familiar voice. You swear that you can see a little bit of the exhaustion in Javier’s eyes disappear. 
“He’s been really patient with his mom these past couple of days,” you say with a chuckle, “No fussing during naps or nothing. Almost like he knew I needed the extra sympathy.”
“Bet your momma handled everything way better than I could, huh? What do you think?” Javier shifts Sebastian to sit on his arm instead so he can blow a raspberry on his face. He smiles softly at you afterward, turning his head towards you so that he and his son are cheek to cheek, “Is that wrong to assume?”
“I still think you’re better with them than me,” you say simply. 
He tuts, “Bullshit.”
Sebastian makes another happy noise at hearing both of his favorite voices. He swings his tiny fists, and Javier grabs one of his hands, “If this one wasn’t so fixated on playing peek-a-boo, he’d agree. Suppose we all have our vices.”
You move past him with a roll of your eyes and a smile on your face. You go to check the food on the stove, and from behind you, Javier sniffs the air. He walks to join you by the counter, “What are you making?”
“Tu favorito (your favorite),” you smile at Sebastian instead of looking at him, leaning in to bump your nose with his tiny one. Sebastian grabs at your face. 
“No te merezco, mi amor (I don’t deserve you, my love).”
“We eat in twenty minutes,” you inform after lovingly shaking your head at him. He leans in to kiss you again and you know immediately that this is just one of many kisses you will get tonight. 
“Where are the rascals?” He asks. 
“In the garden,” you reply and open your arms, “Give him here and go say hi. Inés has been going on about you all day, so please save me from hearing more about her super-duper-awesome Daddy.”
Carefully, Javier hands over Sebastian, “I thought you liked her super-duper-awesome Daddy.”
“I think I might actually love him,” you grin and try not to feel silly at your sappiness because you do actually love him so much that it is stupid. Sebastian clings to you as soon as he smells you, resting his head on your shoulder and bunching his fists in your shirt.
Javier kisses you once more before heading to the door to the garden. You hear him leave it open, and watch him go outside and step off the porch with a hello. 
“Hey there, gremlins!” He shouts. Inés and Lucas, both engrossed in their own activities, look up at the same time. Their faces light up at the sight of their father, but Inés is the one who makes a noise so loud that you can hear it in the kitchen as if she’s speaking right next to you. 
Both of them come charging whilst shouting for him. you smile fondly at the sight of them colliding with their father who lets himself be knocked backward into the grass with a happy laugh. He wraps his arms around them and squeezes them tightly, “How’ve you been? I’ve missed you.”
They both look up at his face, speaking enthusiastically at the same time until he can barely tell what is going on. Their stories of the events of the last three days weave together until it is nonsense, and they don’t seem to notice that he cannot follow along with what they are saying. He ruffles their hair and sits up with them still cradled in the crooks of his arms, “Wow wow wow, uno a la  vez (one at a time).”
“I made a tower of blocks that was taller than me!” Inés says proudly and Lucas seems to let her have the spotlight for a moment. He knows that she’ll get distracted and run away soon anyway, giving him his own chance at talking to his father. Inés talks loudly, “Mommy took a picture. She said that you needed the evi— evin— uhh… evindance.”
“Evidence,” Lucas corrects her with a superior smirk. 
“That’s what I said,” she huffs. 
“Nuh-uh,” her brother protests and ducks out from underneath his father’s arm. 
“Ya-huh!” Inés removes herself from the embrace too. 
“Alright, that’s enough,” Javier chuckles, “I’ll have to ask mamá for your picture. It sounds really cool.”
“Can we build one together?” She asks with a hopeful voice, “Pleeease.”
“Let’s save it for after dinner, mija (my daughter), okay?” He suggests, “And then I’ll build a tower that’s double the size of you before you gotta sleep.”
“Really? When?” Inés reveals that she still has no real concept of time. 
“After dinner, baby,” he says again, winking at Lucas who grins, “Go ask Mommy when we’re eating.” 
She is up in no time, running towards you in the kitchen. It leaves Lucas the perfect opportunity to have his moment. He gets up from the ground, his jeans covered in green patches, and starts walking towards the swing set that Javier built a few years ago. 
“Dad, you need to see what I’ve learned!” He says. 
“Alright, let’s see,” Javier pushes himself to stand with a groan and follows, crossing his arms over his chest and watching his son get onto the seat of the swing. By clutching the chains tightly, Lucas pulls himself to carefully stand up on the swing seat. 
Javier finds himself about to protest, instinctively holding out a hand to be ready for a potential fall. However, Lucas seems to have everything under control as he holds the chains tightly with both hands. He speaks as he starts swaying back and forth, looking hopeful for approval from who he knows to be the bravest man in his world, “I practiced all day yesterday!” 
“Eres increíble (you’re incredible)!” Javier cheers but then smiles smugly, “Does mom know you’re doing that?” 
“She told me not to,” he admits shyly. 
“Well, I haven’t seen anything,” Javier winks. 
“Thanks, Dad,” it sounds genuine, happy to keep a secret. Lucas lights up, “Wanna see me jump?”
“Even your old dad has limits,” Javier laughs with a shake of his head, “Get down from there. No jumping.”
“Fine,” his son grumbles. 
When he is on the ground, you pop your head out of the door to call them inside, “Dinner time,  chicos  (guys). Lucas, come in here and wash your hands.”
You smile as they approach, and when Lucas has walked past you, you stop Javier in the doorway and curl your fingers around his tie, “You better wash them too, Peña.”
The sun hangs low on the horizon when dinner ends. You start gathering the plates and glasses, and Lucas joins in without hesitation which gives Javier a glimpse of what happens when he isn’t home to take care of you. Maybe his son can sense your exhaustion too. He feels a pang of guilt in his stomach but decides to make up for it by getting his daughter ready for bed. 
“Come on, mija (my daughter),” he says, picking Inés up from the floor and throwing her over his shoulder to make her laugh, “Pajamas first and then building blocks.”
He carries her upstairs to the bathroom and helps her into her pajamas, braids her hair the way she likes it, and then gets her toothbrush. She spends the whole time babbling about how she’ll grow taller like her mother and thus they’ll have to build a higher tower each day. 
“Open up,” he says, sitting on the lid of the toilet with her standing between his legs. He holds her toothbrush in front of her mouth. 
“Do you think I’ll be taller than you someday?” She asks with her childlike eyes, and Javier has to tap her chin to make her remember to open her lips. 
“No, because I’ll just wear very big shoes, even if my head bumps against the ceiling,” he tells her with a grin, “C’mon, teeth brushing time.”
Inés grimaces but follows through and he has to shush her several times because she wants to keep talking.She even sports impatience on her face as her father wipes down her mouth with a damp flannel to rid it of leftover toothpaste. She looks ready to bolt out of the door, fidgeting slightly on the spot, “You promised we could build a tower before bed.”
“And we can,” he reassures, turning the flannel over to wipe the tip of her nose playfully. She crinkles it and reaches up to rub it afterward when he moves to hang it on the laundry basket, “But we’re getting ready for bed first. Hair okay?”
She nods, not entirely convinced that she gets to stay up longer after having brushed her teeth but when Javier has put her toothbrush back in its place in the medicine cabinet, she beams as he allows her to run off to her room. He follows behind, arms stretched out in front of himself, “I’m coming to get you, mija (my daughter)!”
“Nooo!” She squeals in delight, trying to barricade the door with her tiny body but he is too fast and manages to reach her before she can even close it. He picks her up by her middle and holds her upside down, shaking her gently while  she laughs and laughs. 
“Mi monita (my little monkey),” he laughs too. 
They spend half an hour as the architects of a tall and colorful skyscraper, Inés too impatient to see the tower reach her own height to care much for aesthetics. Javier tries suggesting a storyline of a castle but his daughter shakes her head. 
“Stop, Daddy,” she commands and he holds up his hands in surrender. 
“So no princesses live here?” He questions, “Not even a dragon? Or maybe a—” 
“No,” she deadpans, steadfast just like Javier’s father has told him he was. He smiles when she isn’t looking, not about to get scolded by a 4-year-old for not taking their playtime seriously. He enjoys the little moments he has like these, seeing the way his daughter imitates his own behavior in a way that would make your teasing never-ending if you saw it. At that moment, he despises himself and his job because he has to leave sometimes and thus misses out on things. He should have been here when Inés built a tower as tall as herself by herself, not see it in a photograph later. 
Eventually, the construction gets too tall for her to build it even taller. Javier is put to work immediately after she realizes this, and she oversees his work with important nods and looks of assessment. 
“Look, Daddy!” She exclaims with each building block that Javier places on top of another. She stands beside the tower because she needs to compare her height to it, and Javier has to keep a hand on her shoulder to steady her when she gets close to making it tumble down, “Do you think it will reach the ceiling?”
“One day I’m sure it’ll reach the moon,” he replies as if it is a fact, “I for sure am tall enough.”
“No, you’re not,” she furrows her brow, thinking, “But we will just have to get a very big ladder.”
Finally, Javier has built a tower double her size. It stands wobbly on the floor. He nods towards it, “There you go, mi amor (my love), do you want to put the last block on top? The triangular one?” 
She nods and he notices the telltale signs of Inés’ tiredness because her eyes have started drooping. She rubs them with a little sigh, and then holds out her arms so he can pick her up and place her on his hip. 
She places the block carefully on top after Javier hands it to her. It is like all energy reserves have been used up from one moment to another. However, he doesn’t want to risk the unsteady tower falling over in the middle of the night, so he whispers in his most mischievous voice, “Do you want to knock it down?”
“Can I?” She widens her eyes. 
“Sí, pero no se lo digas a tu mamá (yes, but don’t tell your mom),” he confirms, “Perhaps a big angry monkey swung from it whilst roaring like this!”
He imitates King Kong the best he can and is thankful she has no clue what it is, and she repeats after him only to push on the stacked blocks until they tumble to the floor. He kicks the remaining pieces with his foot, and she roars again. They laugh together until she yawns.
“Alright, es hora de dormir (it’s time to sleep),” he announces then, and she doesn’t protest. He shifts her slightly in his arms so she can wrap herself around him with both her arms and legs, burying her face in his shoulder. It’s clear that she has missed him. He rubs her back with both hands before holding her in place, moving towards the bed in the corner of her room. 
Gently, he lays her down and crouches down beside her afterward. He pulls the covers up over her head on purpose and earns a giggle, “Oh no, where did Inés go?”
“You’re silly, Papá,” she says. 
“Go to sleep, baby,” he tells her after tucking her in properly this time, “You are so tired. I will see you tomorrow.”
“Thank you for playing with me,” Inés says with a yawn, turning on her side to look at him better. She softens a little as her eyes start to flutter closed, her father’s hand running over her head. Another yawn comes, “Te quiero, Papá. No me gusta cuando te vas y no me gusta extrañarte (I love you, Dad. I don’t like it when you leave and I don’t like missing you).”
Javier sucks in a breath. He rubs the spot between her eyebrows, trying to keep his composure, “Lo sé, mi vida (I know, my life). I love you too. Sleep well, okay?”
“Okay,” she slurs, and then her breathing slows. He tucks her in one last time, leaning in to kiss her hair softly before stretching carefully to his full height. He makes sure to turn on her night light before turning off the overhead lights, closing the door ever so gently afterward.
He lets out a deep breath right outside her room and smooths two fingers over his mustache. He hasn’t told you about this yet but he is considering quitting his job, has been considering it very seriously since Christmas when he promised to cut down on work significantly to be home a lot more with you and the kids. That and the fact that you are carrying his fourth child, and leaving you home alone with all four in the future just seems cruel.
However, it’s a comment like the one he has just received from his only daughter that sets it in stone. His search for other jobs is not a mere idea any longer but rather a necessity if he wants to continue being happy with his family. 
He has to tell you and he is dying to already, but first, he wants to unpack and then tuck Lucas in too. He has three days of goodnights to catch up on. 
He enters Lucas’ room half an hour later to the familiar sound of his son’s Game Boy, its rhythmic beeps and pings accompanied by the frantic tapping on its buttons. Lucas is sitting cross-legged in his bed, already wearing his pajamas and with his face illuminated by the screen of his console. 
“Hey Dad, can you knock? I’m losing my concentration,” his son says without looking up from the screen, already sounding so grown up that Javier has to tighten his grip around the doorknob. Where did the time go? 
“Ay, Lucas,” he tuts and crosses the room to stand by the bed, “Soy tu padre (I’m your father).”
“I just really don’t want to lose,” he explains and starts tapping away on the buttons again, his stare still fixed on the little jumping character. Javier waits for a moment, following his game by looking over his shoulder. 
When enough time has passed and Lucas seems to relax a bit more, he interrupts again, “Alright, time for bed, muchacho (young man).” 
“One more game!” Lucas finally looks up with pleading eyes. The boy sports the same puppy-look in them that you have said Javier does himself, and it was only when he looked into Lucas’ pleading face the first time that he realized what you meant. The look is damn near impossible to say no to. 
“Fine, but I’m taking it afterward unless you promise me not to play all night,” he says firmly, “Even Mario has to sleep at some point.”
“I will!” He reassures quickly, “Only five minutes more, I promise.”
“But I want to talk to you about something first,” he holds out his hand for the gaming console, “Dámelo (Give it to me). It’s important you listen.”
“Am I in trouble?” Lucas reluctantly hands his most precious belonging to his father who places it on the nightstand. 
“What? No, mijo (my son),” Javier gets Lucas under the covers, tucks him in, and then sits down on the edge of the bed, “How would you like it if I got to spend more time at home with you all?”
“What do you mean?” Lucas tilts his head in confusion.
“Can you keep a secret from Mom?” He asks with a gentle smile. Lucas nods. He continues, “I’m quitting my job soon.”
“Really?!” Lucas exclaims with pure shock on his face.
“Shh, your sister and your brother are asleep down the hall,” he shushes, holding a finger in front of his mouth.
“Really?” He whispers instead. 
“Absolutely, really,” Javier whispers back and Lucas’ eyes sparkle with excitement. He sits up in bed, pushing the covers aside to crawl into his father’s arms. Maybe he isn’t so grown up after all. Javier hugs him back and kisses his hair, “I’ve been thinking that spending more time with you, your brother and your sister is what I’ve been missing. I don’t like  leaving you here to be the big boy of the house when I’m not here.”
He continues when Lucas tightens his arms around him. He muses, “And even if I’ll still have a job, there’ll be more time for game nights and football in the garden. Would you like that?”
Lucas nods into his shoulder. Javier chuckles softly, "But remember, es nuestro secreto (it’s our secret) until I talk to Mom about it. We want to make sure she's on board with the plan, yeah?”
Lucas pulls back and nods eagerly, looking like he is already daydreaming of the extra time he'll get to spend with his father. However, there’s a tinge of anxiety in his excitement, and his voice is an unsure whisper when he speaks his concern, "Dad, what if Mom doesn't like the idea? What if she gets upset?"
“She understands how important our family time is. Trust me, te prometo (I promise) everything will be okay," he says with a reassuring smile. 
“But what will your new job be?” Lucas continues, “Will it be something cool?”
“I think I might start teaching people how to catch bad guys like I used to do,” he shrugs.
Lucas grimaces, “You’re gonna be a teacher?”
“Alright, that’s enough,” he laughs, “Bedtime.”
“You said one more game!” He protests. 
Javier gets up to grab the Game Boy off the nightstand. He holds it out for his son and yanks it away when he tries to take it, “One.”
“I promise,” he says and takes it when he is allowed. 
“And your father is actually very cool,” Javier moves to turn off the lights. He can already hear the theme tune of Lucas’ game, “Buenas noches (goodnight).”
“Buenas noches, papá, te quiero,” Lucas beams in the few seconds he looks up. 
“Y yo a tí, mijo (I love you too, my son),” he says and flicks the switch. 
“They’re asleep,” Javier says as he enters the kitchen a few minutes later. He finds you leaning against the counter with a glass of alcohol-free red wine in your hand. The bottle stands on the counter behind you, its contents half-emptied as if it's been your only way of treating yourself in the evenings after the kids have gone to bed. You look tired from having been alone with all three of them - one of them still an infant - for three days and with a secret baby in your belly to top it off. 
Chucho had offered to help you out but you had politely declined so as to not ask for too much of your father-in-law, not be too much of an inconvenience when he has so much to do at the ranch with getting ready for the Spring. 
“I’m about to be too,” you say after a sip of your glass. 
“When I’ve finally gotten you to myself?” Javier tuts and steps closer to you, stopping when he is right in front of you. He checks the baby monitor on the kitchen counter next to the wine bottle and then he takes the glass off your hand, setting it aside as well. 
His hands find your sides afterward, cupping your waist for a moment before they slide around your body so he can pull you in for a long and desperate kiss. You rest your arms on his shoulders, cradling his head as he moves his mouth with yours. It is nothing but pure ecstasy to feel him like this again, so much that you forget to breathe and have to pull away too soon. 
You know he is the same when he sucks a breath in at the same time as you. However, instead of kissing you again, he lets you catch your breath and hugs you close to his chest. His body feels warm, an instant smile forming on your face as he squeezes you. 
“Hi,” you say, sounding drunk despite the wine having no alcohol. His arms are a harbor, the very definition of the end of unhappiness. They’re strong and enough to make your head swim, holding you with the promise of never being apart except for physically. 
You feel his breath against your ear, “Hey, mamá.”
“I’m so glad you’re home with me again,” you close your eyes as you inhale through your nose, letting the scent of him flood your system. 
Javier pulls back and stares at you for a moment. He smirks, a mischievous gleam appearing in his eyes. Then he lets go of you to reach up and teasingly pull down your top to look down into it. 
“Ay, Javi,” you scold with a roll of your eyes. 
“What?” He acts oblivious. 
“You’re acting insane, and I’m trying to be genuine.”
“I haven’t seen you in three days, mi amor (my love), you can’t blame me,” he protests your accusation, “Besides, this is me being very genuine.”
“Missed you too,” you sigh. 
“And I’ve missed you, Jesus,” he wraps his arms around your waist again, pulls you closer to his body, and uses every opportunity to kiss you after each sentence, “Missed these tits. Missed your gorgeous pussy. You gotta let me have it tonight, mamácita.” 
“Take me upstairs then,” you lean your head back when he presses his lips to your throat, “We’re not doing it in the kitchen. Against popular belief.”
Javier snorts, “But we always—“
“I said against popular belief, baby,” you stress. 
“Fine, c’mere then,” his arms slide down over your hips, and when they reach your knees, he scoops you up with his strong arms and lifts you over his shoulder. You answer with a yelp that turns into a panicked laugh but he simply smacks your ass and starts walking. In the middle of the chaos, you manage to reach for the baby monitor on the counter. 
“You are incorrigible,” you say with a dramatic sigh.
“Yes, wife, yes, wife good, I like wife,” he replies in his best caveman accent and you snicker all the way up the stairs, legs dangling over his shoulder and ready to scold him each time he gropes your ass. 
When he throws you down on the bed, you are having a full-on laughing fit and the bubbling in your chest feels so good. Even better, when he looms over you by the end of the bed while unbuttoning his shirt, only to crawl on top of you. He kisses your wine-stained lips, scooping you up into his arms and you return his embrace after throwing the baby monitor on the bed. 
“I love your laugh,” he says softly when he needs a breath, bumping your noses together. 
“You just kidnapped me from the kitchen, that’s no laughing matter,” you tease. He doesn’t hesitate to kiss your neck while you talk. 
“Then why are you giggling like a schoolgirl?” He places a hand on your belly that still keeps a secret between the two of you. No one knows yet. 
There is concentration on his face when his hand moves up under your top, smoothing the fabric up until you stretch your arms above your head to help him rid it off of your body. 
“Hmm,” you think out loud, “Maybe because I have this terrible schoolgirl crush on you.”
“Really? I thought marriage was just a matter of convenience,” he chuckles and kisses your neck again. You lay your hands on his shoulders, smoothing them over the broadness of his bare skin that’s been missing underneath your fingertips and pushing him down towards your chest. 
“This is pretty good too, most convenient,” you note with a grin as he follows your silent order, moving his mouth south on you until he plants kisses between your breasts. You reach underneath your back to undo your bra, and he peels it off of you and sighs with satisfaction as soon as he has your upper body naked. 
“Look at you,” he groans, throwing the bra to the side and diving back into you. He kisses the swell of your right breast, “You make me so fucking horny.”
You throw your head back as he lets the flat of his tongue trail wetly from one breast to the other. He sucks a nipple into his mouth and earns his first moan, to which he presses his clothed crotch into your thigh to show you how hard he is already. 
“I’ve been wet since I saw you at the door,” you admit, “Been thinking of your cock inside of me each night. So fucking lonely without you.”
“You should have called me,” he mutters, mouth going further down on your body until he reaches the hem of your jeans. He undoes the button and zipper, yanking them over your hips and pulling them off your legs. 
“I was too busy screwing myself,” you tell him and he immediately finds your eyes. That clearly hit a spot, “You like that, huh?”
“Tell me about it,” he struggles a little with the jeans as they sit around your ankles, but the desperation has him yanking them off with enough enthusiasm to pull you along. 
“If you weren’t trying to drag me onto the floor— oh, shit.”
Javier has dragged your underwear along with the jeans, and he is now sinking two fingers deep inside of your dripping cunt and pressing them upwards. It’s what you get for being snarky, you suppose, staring down at him as he fucks you open on his digits. 
“Your mouth— ah, put your mouth on me,” you try to command. 
“Quiet down, baby. I literally just put the kids to bed. You want them running in here?” He shushes you with an amused grin, adding a third finger to your squelching cunt to make you groan, “While I’m wearing you like a puppet?” 
You rock against his hand with a chuckle that develops into a moan, “Imagine the conversation that’ll start.”
“I’d rather have a conversation about how filthy you’ve been while I was away,” he speeds up his fingers to make you cry out against your hand but he doesn’t make you come, changing his mind halfway there to follow through on your request, “No, actually I’ll have you monologue about it because I’m going to eat your pussy as you do it.”
You tremble as he takes your clit in his mouth, easing his tongue over the hard nub over and over again whilst timing it with the strokes of his fingers. You feel so full of his digits, and it takes you a moment to trust yourself not to cry at the ceiling the second you remove your hand from your mouth. 
“Took a long shower the day before yesterday, after the kids had gone to school and Seb was napping,” you begin with shaking breaths. You need to start the sentence three times before you can make your words make sense, “Used the faucet on the bathtub and came so goddamn hard. You should’ve seen me with my legs up against the wall.”
Below you, Javier hums in approval and it vibrates through your throbbing pussy. You continue.
“I imagined you going down on me with your warm tongue, circling my clit— yes, just like that,” just talking about it makes you gush from how horny it makes you, wetness dripping past Javier’s lips and into his mouth. He groans against you and mouths at your pulsing clit. You find yourself much closer from how well your body remembers the orgasm you had in the shower; the warm water pounding rhythmically against your clit, your toes curling, and— and. 
You grind into his mouth and fuck yourself on his fingers as you come, the hot and heavy feeling of an orgasm crashing over you and intensifying as it peaks. You have to bite your lip to keep from screaming, still not managing to keep the high-pitched ah! from reverberating through the room. Javier’s fingers feel so much bigger inside of you as your cunt strangles them, and when you look down at him, you see that he is crashing his hips against the bed to feel just a bit of relief. 
You have lost all restraint in your noises as you feel the pleasure ebb out, leaving you a whimpering and panting mess on the bed that wants it all. Somehow you are deeply satisfied at the same time as knowing that this is not enough; you need all of him, and you need him inside of your cunt until you can barely move from the spot. The fact that your body still works when he pulls his fingers from you is an indication of not having had enough. 
“Need to fuck you,” he says from below you, crawling on top of you. He has left a damp spot on the sheets from where his cock has dragged against them, and he looks like he is in pain at this point if he doesn’t get to feel you around him, “Now, mi amor (my love).”
“No,” you stop him as he tries spreading your legs with a gentle yet hurried hand.
“No?” His brows furrow, a protest on the tip of his tongue. 
“Let me ride you,” you beg, already pushing on his shoulders and feeling how he is giving in in an instant, “Please, I want you so deep in me.”
“Yes, yeah, okay,” he breathes, moving to lie on his back with a pillow under his head. You shake as you lift yourself to straddle him, holding out your arms in front of yourself to signal that you want him to be close to you. He reads you without you saying anything and sits up in your bed so you can be chest to chest. 
You reach beneath yourself to take hold of the base of his cock, holding him in place so you can sink down on his shaft until he is buried inside of you to the hilt. You are dripping wet. The motion of engulfing him in your heat is smooth and effortless, and the moans the both of you let out are closer to whines because you are so starved. 
“It’s so good, you’re so wet, baby,” he mumbles quietly in your ear, nosing along the spot behind it. You arch into him, nodding without any words coming to your mind. Instead, you let out a soft gasp as he fucks up into you. 
Nothing describes being this close to him after not even being able to kiss him for three days. Other couples would shake their heads if they knew how desperate you get from merely three days apart. You only feel sorry for them. They don’t get how your days are spent with taking every opportunity to lay eyes on each other, breathe and taste each other or even just being able to put a hand on each other’s shoulder, hip, the small of the back. 
“Let me,” you pant as he moves underneath you, sending you into a state where you need to concentrate if you want to get out a proper sentence, “I want to fuck this cock. Please, let me.”
Javier stills his hips underneath you. He seems to be holding his breath as he watches you place your hands on his shoulders and then feel them slide behind his head to tilt his head backward. He looks up at you as you start moving on him, rocking in his lap so he barely pulls out of you. 
“Come on, that’s a good girl,” he says when he finally sucks in a breath, eyes gazing up at you with a pussydrunk look in them. When they glaze over like this, you know his words will be ravenous and never-ending, “Fuck, baby. That’s it. There you go. Let me touch you so deep inside.”
It doesn’t take long for him to be distracted by your moving chest as you sensually drag your hips over his thick cock. He did tell you that he had missed your breasts but that had been in a slightly playful manner; you never thought that you would actually start to feel beautiful under his hungry eyes. It shouldn’t come as a shock to you because he always knows how to make you feel desirable. 
“Attagirl,” he groans, holding your hip tightly with his right hand to help you keep your balance, “God, look at those pretty tits.”
You arch your back as he puts his other hand on your left breast, bending his head down to mouth along the swell until he reaches your nipple. He swirls his tongue once but it is too hard to keep going when you move more frantically on top of him to pleasure yourself, so instead, he wraps his whole mouth around the hardened, spit-slicked peak and sucks until your cunt clamps down in surprise of how good it feels.
“Fuck,” you pant, closing your eyes. The noises of him sucking on your breasts fill your ears and along with how it is making your belly swirl, it makes you impossibly wetter, coating his dick in a milky-white ring. A lewd thought enters your mind. Perhaps, he keeps knocking you up because of this; your cup size has remained the same for a while because you’ve been breastfeeding for months now, and with another baby on its way, you know that the months will keep adding up in the near future.
A drop slips into his mouth and spurs him on to give you a thorough taste. Your brows pull together as a more high-pitched moan leaves your open mouth and he pulls back to shush you gently. Then he sucks greedily again. 
You had once asked him why he loved this, and he had replied that the very fact that you were producing milk so sweet to nurture his child went straight to his dick. 
“Javi,” you whine to tell him just how you feel. He removes his mouth from your sensitive chest to talk, albeit reluctantly. However, when he notices the change in your sounds and your pitch, he doesn’t want to look away from your face again until he has seen you lose it. 
“Oh, you wanna come, huh? Then fuck me,” he says with milk-stained lips. You move desperately in his lap as he spurs you on, feeling the head of his cock dragging back and forth inside of you, laying against your g-spot perfectly if you tilt your hips just a bit. Javier’s eyes burn as they stare up at you but he cannot help himself from occasionally glancing down at your bouncing tits. Your need to come grows, and when you press down slightly harder, you see stars behind your eyelids. A second orgasm tears through you, and one of the hands that has gripped your hip hard enough to bruise comes up to cover your mouth because you start screaming. It’s so intense to have missed him so much. 
“There she is,” he growls lowly, watching your face contort with pleasure until tears slide down your face and underneath his palm that’s tightly secured over your whining mouth, “That’s my good girl. You know how to come on this fucking cock, fuck, you feel so good, mi vida (my life), choking my dick. Keep going— no no, don’t stop, ride through it, baby.”
You force yourself to continue moving and keep crying into his hand, wet from drool and tears by now. The oversensitivity is mind-numbing, toe-curling, and somehow still not enough.
“Almost made me come, mi chica sucía y desesperada (my dirty, eager girl),” he says through a breathless chuckle but then raises his brows as your pitch starts climbing once again. You have successfully bypassed your body and started building up another high, “You’re gonna come again? Díos mio (my God), my beautiful wife is insatiable.”
Any chance of talking back at him is lost because you would wake up the whole neighborhood if he dared remove his hand from your mouth. To put his filthy mouth in its place, you start bouncing in his lap to the point where his naked thighs crash harshly into your ass. The sound of skin slapping against skin is dirty but Javier’s desperate groans are obscene. He can barely talk now without his voice wavering, and with the way he repeats himself, you know he is doing everything in his power to let you come one more time before he bursts, “Use my cock, yes like that. K-keep going— you’re gonna make me come. Oh fuck.” 
When he notices that you are trying to say something, he removes his hand and allows you a single sentence before clamping the hand down over your mouth again. 
“I can’t do it anymore,” you whimper with exhaustion, thighs having started to tremble with the effort you are putting into bouncing in his lap. They hurt at this point, straining despite how much you also use your arms to steer yourself.
“Don’t worry about it, Go until you can’t fucking do it anymore and I’ll take over, yeah?” He nods at you when you make a mhm-noise into his hand, eyes encouraging and his breaths less composed. 
When you come a second time on his dick, you falter immediately. The sensation of the pleasure that has built up so fast again crashes down and takes you with it in its fall. You are silent when it’s teetering on the edge, and then it makes your voice crack when you feel the first tug behind your throbbing clit. 
There is only the feeling of your convulsing cunt making you believe in a higher power - in this case, Javier fucking Peña - and then said higher power wrapping his arm around your sticky back to lift you up and down. He snaps his hips upwards to use your body for his own pleasure, and after a series of frantic movements, he comes with a groan. The feeling of his warm spill inside of you has you whimpering, and you try your best to rock your hips the best your exhausted body can. If it weren’t for all the dopamine in your system, you are sure it would hurt. 
“Yes, yes, yesyesyes. Oh, baby, fuck the come out of me, yes, that’s it,” he chants underneath you as he fills you up, moving to meet you halfway until he also has no more to give.  When he stills, he grabs your face to smash your lips together in a messy, desperate kiss that is more teeth than anything else. It feels impossible to get close enough to him, even if your chests stick together from sweat.
A moment later, you fall down onto his chest with a chuckle, head swimming from what you have just done. Your arms lie on either side of his head, and your cheek is pressed into his hair. You can feel his nose dig into your shoulder, inhaling you and your post-sex scent, and his arms tighten around your waist as he hugs you close. 
“That was fantastic,” you groan with him still inside of you. He gives you one more thrust, pressing his hips upwards, and you half-moan in oversensitivity and half-laugh in surprise, “Stop it, Peña.”
He laughs breathlessly, placing a kiss on your bare skin. Then he slips out of you with a grunt, and you feel his come drip from you already, down onto his cock and thighs. He rubs your sides with his broad hands, “I have missed you as well, you know.”
“I don’t ever want you to go again,” you demand sillily. 
“You say that every time.”
“I mean it every time.”
There’s a pause between the two of you. It lasts several minutes where you just lie on top of his chest. 5, 10, 15 minutes pass. Javier says nothing yet you know him well enough to know that he is considering his words. 
“I was thinking of something,” he finally says. 
You sit up at that, “What?” 
“You know how I said something about work during Christmas? That I wanted to be more home with you and the kids, that it would make me happier?” He begins, looking up at you and not hesitating in his eye contact with you. 
You suddenly pay a lot more attention, “Yeah?”
“I was thinking that since I will have a bunch of kids to carry around a lot more years from now, I can’t be running around in the force anymore. My back is fucking killing me, and I also want to make love to my wife on the regular,” he tells you and you know instantly that it’s serious even if he says it with a chuckle, “I was thinking of teaching at the local college. They have a criminology course, and with my time in school with my head in the books - I mean, my bachelor’s degree - it shouldn’t be a problem to get a job there.”
“Are you serious?” You gape at him. 
“Yes, of course, I am,” he furrows his brow slightly. Only now, he looks unsure but still keeps talking, “It would mean nothing of this sort either; me going away.”
“Babe, that’s amazing,” you fall down into him again, causing an umph-noise from your husband, and then you crash your lips into his. You kiss him as if your life depended on it, sliding your fingers through his dark hair and tugging slightly as if trying to get him even closer to you. 
He looks drunk and disheveled when you pull back again, a goofy and satisfied smile on his face. His fingers scratch slightly along your back, “You’d like that, huh?”
“Yes, please,” you beam with happiness. 
“Then you shall have it, mi vida (my life),” his hands travel down to your ass which he gropes obscenely, and when you make a noise, he smacks your right cheek. You feel his cock, hard again, poke into your thigh.
You look down between you, “This is a surprise. I thought you’d gotten old…”
“Like I said…” He grabs your waist and pulls you down to lie on your back. A yelp escapes your lips. 
He is inside of you mere seconds after, causing you to longingly whine. He thrusts once then twice, and you throw your head back to take it, “…I’ve missed you.”
.
.
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paladinncleric · 10 months ago
Text
Kitchen Capers.
Pairing(s): Jenna Ortega x fem!reader
Summary: Jenna and R's attempt at 'cooking'
Warning(s): fluff
Words: 1k+
A/N: Not a big fan of this, but kinda enjoyed writing it. Hope you like it!
Request
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"Babe." Jenna poked my cheek as I concentrated on beating my highest score on Flappy Bird.
"What?" I said giving her a quarter of my attention.
"Babe." She poked my cheek again.
"Whaaat?"
"Babeeeee" She said as she repeatedly poked my cheek.
I groaned as I stared at the 'Game Over' on my screen just a few points away from my top score. I looked at her sitting beside me on the couch giving me her best innocent smile as I glared at her.
"Now what exactly do you need me for, Your Highness?"
She climbed up on my lap, straddling me, as she squished my cheeks together causing me to look like a duck, she repeatedly pecked my squished-up lips as I sat there with my arms crossed, which I eventually melted into cause who could resist her kisses? Certainly not me.
"Stop being cute and tell me what you want." I said as I caressed both her thighs exposed from her shorts while she caressed my neck, still in my lap.
"I was thinking we could make pasta to take to my mom's tonight."
"Okay...that sounds easy enough?"
"It's not."
"It's not?"
"I was thinking of making it from scratch..." Said Jenna trailing off absentmindedly playing with my shirt.
"Oh like not the store-bought kind?" I asked and she nodded.
"Well...can you?"
See, after recently moving in together we realized neither of us are all that big into cooking, with me lacking the skill and Jenna's career keeping her away most of the time. So, I've taken up some cooking classes to at least be able to feed both of us. But it's only been like a week so my skills are nowhere near good enough, I don't wanna accidentally poison someone. That's why we've been striving off of takeouts and dinners in her parent's place every once in a while.
Which is also why we've been invited to her family's house tonight for dinner, and Jenna being Jenna was determined to show them that she's capable of living alone without their help.
"Of course I can, I've watched my mom make it a hundred times." She said as she looked at me with furrowed eyebrows.
I chuckled and said to her, "Babe I'm sure you're aware that there's a difference between watching someone make it and making it yourself."
She stared at me annoyed, "Obviously, but how hard can it be right? I'm pretty sure I know all the stuff that goes in there."
"Are you actually sure? Cause we can call your mom an-"
"No! I want to do it all by myself and without her help for once."
I sighed at her stubbornness and said with my eyes narrowed "If I die tonight because of your food, I'm haunting you for the rest of your life."
"Wouldn't want it any other way, baby." She said with a chuckle and a quick kiss to my cheek and got up from my lap already on her way to the kitchen.
I sighed as I fall back on the couch and I pulled out my phone again to try and beat my score for the 5th time, but as soon as I got comfortable Jenna's voice boomed through the house.
"GET YOUR ASS IN THE KITCHEN Y/L/N, I WON'T SAY IT TWICE."
I groaned as I got up and made my way to the kitchen with slumped shoulders and mumbled a quiet "Yes mom."
Jenna immediately turned towards me again and asked with a glare "What was that?" Making it clear she heard me.
"Nothing." I said avoiding eye contact with her.
"That's what I thought. Now, get to work." She said then went back to taking out all the ingredients, which I followed to do after dramatically groaning.
**********
"Uh babe are you sure we added the right things?" I said as I looked at her trying to massage the watery dough.
"I mean, yeah, I'm pretty sure." She said with furrowed eyebrows and flour covering almost every inch of her face. I chuckled as I took a towel and turned her face towards me as I gently cleaned her face. After I was done, I gave her a kiss on her nose as she smiled at me softly and I smiled back.
"Thanks." She whispered.
I caressed her cheek with my hands as I replied, "You're welcome, gorgeous." She kissed my chin then went back to her work.
I watched her struggle for 10 more minutes as I say, " Uh we can check google if you want?"
"No! Nope! I said I'm not taking any help tonight. I'll figure it out myself." Jenna's stubborn ass said.
I sighed as I leaned back against the counter knowing it's gonna take a while. I would try and help her normally, but in these situations I'm even worse than her.
I watched her for a while, now with an hour and a half till we need to leave. When finally, she groaned and pushed away from the dough. She turned around almost into tears. I open my arms for her as she stumbles into it, her holding the back my shirt as I rub her back while trying not to instinctually move away from the wet dough smearing on my shirt from her hands.
"I really thought *sniffle* I could do this."
"Hey it's ok babe, don't be sad. I can totally become the perfect housewife/trophy wife for you after I'm done with my course. I mean, c'mon, at that point I'll almost be a professional chef."
"Shut up." She said with a giggle as she backed away from the hug and wiped under her eyes with her dough hands as she froze.
I saw her analyzing everything with wide eyes, to my dough-covered shirt, to her dough covered clothes from vigorous stirring of the dough, to her face now filled with dough to her hair and the kitchen floor covered in flour. Then finally, her eyes landed on the clock above my head which read exactly an hour left to leave.
"Shit!" She exclaimed as she ran for the bathroom.
"Hey! I need to shower too!" I yelled after her.
"Join me!"
I smirked at that and was about to respond, when she said, "Without your unholy thoughts!"
I laughed to myself, as I quickly cleaned the floor and threw the dough away while trying not to touch it. After about 10 minutes I was done, as I stripped my clothes along the way to the bathroom and threw it on the floor of the laundry room.
I finally got in the shower, as I saw Jenna washing her hair butt naked. I smirked and went to slide my hands around her waist, when she abruptly turned around and said with narrowed eyes.
"Don't even think about it."
I threw my hands up in surrender as I exaggeratedly looked her up and down with a teasing smile on my face. She groaned and went back to showering as I joined her under the water.
**********
After showering, I wear some slightly baggy jeans with a button-up and my converse, while Jenna wears something similar too.
We both nod at each other with an approving smile, as we run towards the door with us already being 15 minutes late.
We enter their house with Nat standing and pointing at her watch at the entrance. We both sheepishly smile as I give her a quick hug and Jenna gives her a kiss on the cheek as we both move on to greet the rest of the family.
"So, how's everything going back home? Settling well?" Jenna's dad, Ed asked us after we all finally settled on the table for dinner.
"I'm sure they are, was probably too busy 'unpacking' to get here on time." Aliyah said while quoting 'unpacking' with her fingers.
I coughed as I picked up my glass to drink my water so I didn't have to reply, while Jenna subtly kicked her under the table. I saw Aliyah wince as I struggled to hold my chuckle in.
"Everything's going great Dad." Jenna clarified.
"Except." I said as Jenna's head snapped towards me as she threatened me with her eyes.
"Don't you dare."
"Her attempt at spaghetti ended up failing so bad, it was hard to distinguish the edible part."
Aliyah and her parents burst out laughing, Jenna glared at me and smacked my shoulder with her hand as I stuck my tongue out at her.
"You could have asked for my help mija.”
I saw Jenna’s shoulder slump and she pouted at the table.
“I know but I wanted to prove a point.” She grumbled as she shoved bread in her mouth.
“Yea you proved it very well.” Aliyah said sarcastically.
“I’m still proud of you for trying at least, God help me I don’t wanna step foot in a kitchen anytime soon.” I said exasperatedly.
“You ever plan on cooking?” Asked Aliyah.
“Of course but only when I have the assurance I can cook something decent and won’t burn the house down.”
“Take all the time you need, Y/N. At least in this way I get to see my daughter more often.” Said Ed taunting Jenna.
“Daaaaaad.” Whined Jenna
“What?” Said Ed laughing at his daughter as she sat pouting again.
“Okay that’s enough, let the poor girl eat.” Said Natalie as she shook her head smiling.
**********
I unlocked the door as Jenna stomped in and went straight to our room as I sighed at her child-like antics. How can a person be so poise and yet childish? Fuck if I know. I locked the door behind me as I approached our bedroom slowly dreading what I’d have to face. I get in the room to see her getting ready to wipe her makeup already in her sleeping clothes. I stood there staring at her through the reflection of the mirror. Her eyes caught mine as she raised her eyebrows at me as I squinted my eyes at her.
“Do you have something to say?” She asked.
“Uh no…do you?” I replied as I stared at her confused.
“No…?”
“Oh okay great!” I brightened up significantly as I thought she had forgiven me.
I happily walked to the bathroom. Did all the necessary things, emptied my stomach, changed clothes, brushed. I happily trudged back into my room to see Jenna taking up the whole bed and my pillow nowhere to be seen.
Uh oh.
“So uh dumb question but where’s my pillow?”
“Oh they’re on the couch.”
Well, shit.
“My I ask why…?”
She just stared at me blankly as she faced away from me. I sighed and groaned as I flopped on the bed, half on her and half on the bed.
“I’m sorryyyy, we just always joke about your culinary skills and I thought you wouldn’t mind.”
“I told you I was trying to prove my independency to them, but you saying that proved the opposite.”
“Jen I’m pretty sure they know you’re independent, you literally travel country from country shooting films, most of the time alone.” I said as I looked at her quizzically.
“Well…yea but they were still reluctant with me moving in with you.” She countered back.
I laughed as I pull my head up to look at her and say “That’s because you’re their little girl and of course they’re gonna be sad and kinda worried about you moving out of their home for the first time.”
Jenna groaned as she put a pillow on top of her face and said “I knowww it’s just them being so, I don’t know, over-protective this way makes me feel like they don’t trust me with taking care of myself.”
“At the end of the day, they still let you right? focus on that. I think they let you ‘cause they know I’ll be here.” I said with a smug smile as Jenna rolled her eyes at the bullshit I just spewed.
“Also I think you’re parents think we’re like, some sort of, sex crazed people...oh my god is this why they were reluctant?” I said as I made a ‘mind blown’ face.
“No, of course not why would they think that?” Jenna said as she looked at me confused.
“Well with the way your mom makes sure we have weekly check-ups and your dad’s The, by the way very terrifying, ‘Talk’ he gave me I’m pretty sure they do.”
“Oh my god, shut up you’re being ridiculous.” Jenna said laughing as I smiled finally hearing it.
We laid there for a while, me half on her and half on the bed as she stroked my hair. After a while, she stops and says.
“I’m still mad at you though.”
“Oh please, woman you’re not fooling anyone.” I say as I get up to get my pillow back.
“Ugh you’re lucky you’re cute." She said and I responded with a 'duh' face.
"The lower half of my body is numb because of you asshole.” Jenna said as she wiggles her toes in my face as I stand in the doorway of our bedroom and smack her feet away.
“This is what it feels like being the bigger spoon most of the time, except it's the upper half, so now YOU deal with it.” I say as I quickly stick my tongue out and move out of the way as a pillow comes straight to the door. I stuck my head in again as I look at the pillow and her on the bed with deadpan eyes and say.
“Hahaha you miss-“ a pillow smacks against my face.
“Now go get your pillow and hurry up I’m tired.” Jenna said as she situated herself on the bed again.
“Yes ma’am.”
**********
“Does it actually feel bad to be the bigger spoon?”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“But you just said.”
“I like it as long as you’re my little spoon.”
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inuyashaluver · 9 months ago
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Please would you write a part two to my girls?
where Ellie calls maya mama for the first time in front of the united girls. They keep making her repeat it thinking she’s just mumbling and maya walks in.
Love the fics <3
my girls [ part 2 ] - maya le tissier
maya le tissier x reader
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description: in which ellie calls maya ‘mama’ for the first time, everyone is extremely emotional
warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff i feel sick, does the time frame make sense? no not really but who cares
a/n: omg! first time writing a part two! hope you enjoy! ❤️ i’ve literally never written something so fast! also thank you for the love, baby!!
read part 1 first!!!
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you and your girlfriend, maya are still very much infatuated with each other. you’d been dating for a little over 6 years and it had been nothing but genuine.
the mutual respect and love for each other was obvious to anyone, you two were very much in love and you couldn’t be happier.
and something maya loved additionally to everything about you is that you came with a bonus, a mini you in the form of ellie to share that love with.
ellie brought the two of you together even more, maya seeing ellie as her own daughter and ellie very much being obsessed with maya.
it wasn’t uncommon that the two of them would team up as partners in crime against you but you didn’t complain, their little giggles and cheesy grins warmed your heart more than anything.
maya had gone to the market in the morning with ellie, taking her secretly but making sure to leave you a note that she had her.
it was a warm day in manchester, the sun beaming down on the two girls as they treaded through the market, giggling and chatting as they went through all the stores.
and because it’s maya and ellie is ellie, everything ellie liked or thought was cute, maya got it without a question. you’d be sure to scold maya when they both got home but she couldn’t help it.
the way ellie was so grateful and actually chose things that she wanted made maya think it was a no brainer.
ellie would always make sure to thank maya with a hug and a kiss to the cheek and it would make her melt every time her little voice said, “thank you, may may”.
maya made sure to not forget about you, her other favourite girl. she picked out a bouquet of your favourite flowers and a few foods that were only available at this specific market.
ellie teased maya about the flowers and maya truly could see you shining through the little girl. “you love mummy” ellie giggles, holding onto maya’s hand.
“mhm, i do love mummy” maya smiles bashfully, “and i love you as well” maya grins at her, ellie turns shy suddenly, her hand twitching in maya’s before tightening her hold.
“i love you too” ellie says softly. maya smiles brightly, adding another small bouquet and giving it to ellie which she excitedly accepted.
when they both made it home, you’d been doing some reset jobs in the house when you heard the excited chatter and giggles from the door.
“elle belle, take this to mummy for me” maya whispers, taking ellie’s flowers and replacing them with your bouquet. ellie nods determinedly, padding over to the kitchen as you were wiping down the island.
“mummy!” ellie exclaims excitedly, placing her little hand on your thigh to make you look down at her. “my baby!” you smile, lifting her up to sit on the counter, “what pretty flowers” you grin, your eyes making their way to maya, she was leaning against the door frame while watching you with a shy smile.
“may may bought them for you” ellie teases, you laugh brightly, kissing the small girl on her cheek repeatedly and making her squeal.
“is that right?” you tickle her sides, ellie nods, “she bought me flowers too” ellie gives you a toothy grin, your eyes look up at maya again, your smile never leaving your face, your heart was soaring at the gesture.
“mummy, go thank may may” ellie scolds, you and maya both laugh, maya walks further into the kitchen to where you both were, her hand making its way to the small of your back.
“thank you, baby” you smile, giving her a sweet kiss, maya leans into you, pecking your lips a couple of times before handing you the food from the markets.
you gasp excitedly, kissing maya’s cheek before she stands behind you, her arms wrapping around your waist as her head rests on your shoulder.
ellie smiles at the both of you, she loved seeing you both so happy. “i’m going to play now,” ellie exclaims, you help her get off the counter and she runs away to put the flowers in her room.
you turn in maya’s hold, “you’re so sweet, I love you” you cheese out, maya pulls you into another kiss, your mouths moving together sweetly.
you hum against her and she smirks into the kiss, “i love you” maya pecks, ushering you to eat the foods she bought that you promptly shared with her, many little kisses shared between the two of you.
you still work as a physio for manchester united, you and maya grateful for the extra time you have together. ellie was now 5 years old and it had both you and maya in disbelief at how fast she was growing. and with the rapid age increase, came the time you were dreading. school.
you couldn’t help but cry some nights to maya about your little girl going to school.
“she’s growing too quickly, she was in my belly not that long ago” you sniffle, maya kisses your forehead tenderly, your legs over her thighs as you both sat on the couch, ellie sleeping in her bedroom, her first day of kindergarten was the next day.
“oh, baby,” maya coos, her hand caressing your side as you leant against her shoulder. “it’s exciting though, my love, she’s going to learn and make friends” maya says adoringly, kissing the top of your head as you sniffle against her.
“i’m so proud of her, but she needs to stop growing” you demand, maya giggles, “i’ll tell her to stop growing” you let out a wet laugh, grabbing maya’s hand with a gentle squeeze.
“good” you smile, looking up at her with a gentle grin, she smiles back at you, kissing your tears away, kissing the tip of your nose and finally landing on your lips.
“it’s okay, you’re okay, we’re okay” maya assured softly, kissing your lips once more as you nod. “we’re okay” you breathe out, pulling maya into a tight hug.
the next day, ellie woke up early and ran to you and maya’s bedroom. “wake up!” ellie squealed, jumping on the bed as both of you groan, you hide your face in maya’s neck.
“baby, it’s too early” you whine, ellie moves to sit on maya’s waist, “mummy is so grumpy in the morning” ellie huffs, maya lets out a little laugh, pulling ellie into a little hug when the girl flops on top of her.
“my big girl is going to school” maya grins, suddenly you gasp and sit up, grabbing ellie and tickling her while kissing all over her face.
ellie squeals in delight, “mummy, no!” ellie laughs brightly, “no!” you laugh, maya joins in, making ellie double in laughter as you both kiss and tickle her. when you both stop, ellie calms down, all of you in fits of giggles.
after a quick morning debrief about all of your dreams that night, ellie gets ready for school with the help of you and maya. you made her lunch while maya helped her get dressed. maya teared up a little at seeing ellie looking so cute in her little uniform.
“may may, why are you crying?” ellie asks worriedly, grabbing maya’s hand gently, maya smiles softly. her heart was exploding at how much love this little girl had in her, telling her everything about how much of an amazing mum you were.
“happy tears, elle belle” maya sniffles, bending down and straightening her little skirt and adjusting her jumper. “happy tears” ellie smiles, giving maya a little hug when she saw the tear roll down her face.
maya holds her hand and walks her to where you were waiting anxiously in the kitchen, a special breakfast awaiting your daughter’s arrival.
“mummy, may may won’t stop crying ‘happy tears’” ellie says worriedly, looking up at maya, maya shakes her head amusingly, looking at you with a little smirk.
you gasp when you see them, “look at you” you coo, immediately tearing up.
“mummy, don’t cry!” ellie gasps, running towards you and hugging your legs. you lift her up quickly and hug her, cradling her head to her chin as you sway her gently.
“my baby girl” you coo, ellie wipes away your tears with her hand and you smile fondly at her. maya takes photos of the both of you, making quick work of setting it as her lockscreen.
“please stop crying, you two cry too much” ellie pleads, you and maya both let out a little wet laugh. “sorry, lovie” maya smiles, kissing your cheek and ellie’s before she moves to wash the dishes quickly.
ellie sits down and you both chat to her about school and her feelings towards it as she ate her breakfast. you and maya get her ready and get her in the car, maya drives with a hand on your thigh while you grip onto her arm nervously.
“breathe, baby” maya chuckles, you nod and let out a little breath, ellie in the back hums along to a song on the radio to the short drive to her school.
you and maya would both be heading to work/training after this.
you get out of the car with maya and help ellie out, putting her backpack on for her as she holds onto both of your hands tightly.
“I will pick you up later, okay?” you both kneel down to her level, ellie nods enthusiastically, kissing your cheek and giving you a hug.
“i love you, mummy” ellie grins, a tear rolling down your cheek in the process “i love you, my girl”, she moves over to maya, “have a good day, elle belle, i love you” maya smiles, hugging the girl tightly as ellie kisses her cheek.
“i love you, may may” ellie waves to both of you, saying hello to her teacher as she walked in.
you immediately pout and look at maya, she quickly pulls you into a tight embrace, “baby, it’s okay, we’ll see her soon” maya says softly in your ear, you hold her tighter, your face hiding in the crook of her neck.
she held you for a little while longer, whispering sweet nothings in your ear before she walked you to the car, driving you both to the manchester united facility.
when the time came to pick up ellie, you rushed a quick kiss to maya’s lips before you promptly left to pick up your little girl. maya giggled against your lips when you kissed her, knowing how excited you were.
she had media duties today so the day was a little longer than expected, but you promised ellie that you both could stay and wait for her when ellie begged to stay with maya.
ellie bounds over to you excitedly, a big hug coming your way when she saw you on the school gate. “oh, my girl!” you grin,
“mummy, i missed you” ellie kisses your cheek, you return the gesture, “me and may may missed you way more” you grin, walking her to the car and driving back to the training facility.
you both walk in and the girls gasp excitedly when they see ellie, a popular favourite amongst all the staff and the team. she bounds over to ella and millie, the first people she sees as maya currently wasn’t in the room.
“hi, princess” ella says excitedly, pulling her into a tight hug and making ellie giggle. “i’ll go find maya, baby!” you grin, running out of the room in attempts to find your girlfriend.
a couple of the girls gather around ellie, fangirling over her as she recounted her day. that’s when ellie said it, “mummy and mama took me to school, and then-” ellie says excitedly, interrupted by mary,
“who drove you to school?” everyone tensed, confused whether they heard what they thought they did, looking at each other in shock but excitement also.
“uh, mama drove me” ellie said confused, “you mean (y/n)?” ella buts in, “no, mama drove and then went to training” ellie was genuinely confused.
“who’s mama, baby?” mary smiles, “mama is may may” ellie grins, sitting cross legged as the girls fangirl again.
when mary hears yours and maya’s excited chatting approaching, mary asks ellie the same question. “mary, you’re so silly, mama is may may!” ellie laughs, you and maya pause at the door.
maya’s mouth was agape, her eyes wide with shock. you cover your mouth with your hands, looking between the two of them, tears were brimming in your eyes again.
ellie finally saw maya at the door, running towards her excitedly, “mama!” ellie exclaims, crashing into maya’s legs with a hug. she hugs her tightly and maya’s eyes go to you, a tearful expression evident on her face.
“hi, my lovely girl” maya grins, pulling her up into a big hug, “mama, mary didn’t know you were mama” ellie laughs, hugging her tightly again, “i didn’t know i was mama” maya giggles, her hand rubbing circles on ellie’s back.
ellie looks at her confused, holding her hand out to you and making you walk over to them.
“that’s mummy,” she starts, holding your hand, “you’re mama” ellie put a hand on maya’s cheek, maya nods, both of your eyes glossy with tears. the girls all busy themselves to let you have your private moment.
“tell me about your day!” maya smiles softly, holding ellie with one hand and yours in the other as she walked with you to the physio room.
when you both go home and go through your regular routines, as soon as ellie was asleep, maya broke down.
“she called me mama” maya pouts, laying on top of you as she cried in your neck, you coo, rubbing your hands on the skin of her back under her shirt.
“because you are her mama” you smile, maya pulls back, “i love you, and ellie so much, i hope you both know that” maya sniffles, you nod and pull her into a loving kiss, “i know, baby, we love you so much too” you whisper against her lips, kissing her sweetly before dragging her off to bed.
everytime ellie calls maya ‘mama’ her heart flutters, she feels so privileged ellie considers her a mother figure and she’s so grateful for the both of you.
so much so, about two months later, ellie and maya are back to their partner in crime activities for a very special surprise on your 6 year anniversary.
maya and ellie woke up extra early to go out to the markets on a sunday, getting you flowers, a cake and other little goodies that you enjoyed.
at the market, maya asked ellie what she thought about her marrying you and ellie gave her a simple answer. “i want you and mummy to get married so you can be together forever” and that was the green light.
maya messily writes the number 6 on the cake and lets ellie carry it to yours and her room. maya’s hand quickly falls to her back pocket to check if the little box she’d been hiding for a year was there still, extremely nervous.
“morning!” ellie yells in your ear, maya winced, smiling at you apologetically as you sat up and rubbed your eyes.
“good morning, happy anniversary” you pull maya in for a kiss, “happy anniversary” she grins against your lips, pecking it quickly before ellie shoves the cake in between you two. maya places the flowers on your bedside table and smiles at ellie showing you the cake excitedly.
“we got cake!” ellie grins, you kiss her cheek lovingly and nod, “mhm, we got cake” you look at maya and she shrugs, kissing you quickly before sitting in front of you.
“i wanted to ask you something” maya says nervously, you look at her surprised, sitting up slightly and holding one of her hands.
“go for it, baby” you smile, maya smiles back, her hand reaching into her back pocket and pulling out a small velvet box.
your breath hitched, ellie gasps, slapping your knee slightly. from all the movies she’s watched, she knew what this meant and she was extremely excited.
“the last 6 years with you have been the best of my life, i’m ready to start forever if you are,” she starts, her expression tearful as your own tears ran down your face, “will you marry me?” maya chokes out, you nod frantically, pulling her into a passionate kiss as she gripped your hips.
ellie watches you both with her own tear running down her cheek, she finally knew what happy tears meant, her two mums were getting married.
maya slipped the ring on your finger and you hug her tightly, ellie joins in, all three of you giggling and smiling with each other. it truly was the start of forever, for the three of you.
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
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liked by millturner_ and 44,232 others
mayaletissier: an honour to be your future wife and our little girl’s mama officially, can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with both of you 🥂❤️
view all comments
yourname: it’s a forever kind of thing 🥂 xx
↳ mayaletissier: bonus, i get a permanent milf who’s really hot AND gives good massages
↳ yourname: maya.
↳ mayaletissier: sorry
1maryearps: i’m violently sobbing
↳ ellatoone: you and me both
↳ millturner_: me too
↳ manutdwomen: us too
↳ lionesses: don’t forget us
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astradyke · 4 months ago
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Please write the dissertation on how phil deals with dan's self deprecation :)
hi! i am not certain what exactly you are referring to, but i will be using my best guess that you are referencing what i talked about in this post about a certain minute and a half from a certain video. if that's not what you meant, shoot me another ask! but assuming that's it, well, without further ado...
a deep dive into 19:57-21:26 of What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2
What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2 was released December 21st, 2021 on AmazingPhil's channel. this video was released around two and a half years into Dan's hiatus (two years from their joint hiatus). setting aside the several YouTube Originals including Dan as talent, the next upload released on his own channel would be Why I Quit YouTube, released May 2nd, 2022. the sole reason i mention this video is for the contextualization of what was occurring during What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2-- this video was taken at some point after Dan had learned that his dream show, Dan Is Not Okay, was not going to be actualized, a reality that he described as traumatic.
i want to be explicitly clear that i am NOT intending to speculate on what was transpiring in private, nor am i romanticizing severe trauma. this is a frame by frame commentary post about publicly available content.
the outro to this video begins at 19:52, with a single frame that cuts at 19:57. At 19:57, Phil says: "Bunch has happened with you that we did not text about," to which Dan emphasizes, "That I can't talk about." Dan begins speaking on his own at this point, but you see Phil's face shift as he prods Dan to "talk a bit" about what is going on-- his eyebrows furrow, he's making direct eye contact with the camera, and he seems to be frowning. As Dan talks calmly yet vaguely about the circumstances we later learn about in Why I Quit YouTube, Phil's face shifts from the previously described expression to one where his cheeks puff up, his eyebrows still furrowed-- clearly annoyed. This shift happens as Dan is talking:
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"Look, quite a few things, dreams of mine-"
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"-got quite catastrophically torpedoed..."
Phil's face is like this for only a second before he relaxes it, though he still looks noticeably unhappy after. There is a jump-cut ~20:12, where Dan now has his hand resting against his face, while Phil emphatically expresses: "Like, Dan has been so close to almost giving you something, and then it's been taken away."
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at this point, Dan carefully starts saying that several of these projects might happen in the future-- to which Phil looks a little defeated:
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before looking irritated, even more-so than before, when Dan says: "... but I cannot to just wait for them or be gone in the meantime."
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again, relaxes again after a few seconds, and only begins to look positive when Dan describes that "somehow, some way, in the new year, I will be back."
... okay, so why did i show you any of that? mainly because i think it is significant to contrast the way that Dan approaches this subject versus how Phil does. Dan is plagued with vestiges of bitter professionalism and a sort of sadness as he tries to allude to the nightmare of his last two years, which makes sense in the context of his indecision over how to respond to what happened. all that Dan has experienced has forced him to constrain his emotional responses, as he has spent two years walking along a very similar edge with his literal dreams at stake. Phil, meanwhile, has a subconscious reaction to what Dan is saying, and without intending to, expresses across his face the shifting emotions that Dan feels unable to show.
to me it mirrors something we see in the I TRY TO GIVE DAN A HAIRCUT!! video. In this video, Dan continuously expresses uncertainty about promoting his book, being repeatedly encouraged by Phil to talk about it-- only for Phil to insert a segment at the end of the video to promote it more fervently. Dan is forcibly holding back, versus Phil openly expresses what Dan feels he cannot do in that moment. when Dan is wading through complicated emotions in order to treat the subject of his recent trauma respectfully, Phil is pantomiming what Dan cannot say in that moment, what he is not safe to say: that he got completely fucked over. Phil is communicating what we would spend five months knowing nothing about, in a way that exposes nothing except the fact that he was by Dan's side, feeling a fraction of his pain, throughout it, and that Dan didn't deserve it. that Dan is not at fault for his own absence.
at 20:35, Phil perks up and expresses that "the world has missed your sarcasm," voicing not only his own excitement ("I'm braced") but also the audience's excitement to see Dan return to YouTube. Dan laughs, before asking: "have they, though?" here, Phil very earnestly says, "yeah!" he is slightly shrugging, eyebrows rising (i couldn't capture a good visual here, sorry). the conversation is quickly hijacked by Dan, who continues to say "maybe this has been good for the world"-- Phil makes an expression here that is convoluted to read, mixed with both irritation/skepticism but also losing a degree of seriousness-- and starts laughing to himself as Dan goes onto say, effectively, that maybe things are better without him there at all. this is a very noticeable part of a lot of Dan and Phil content: Dan makes a self-deprecatory remark, Phil responds very earnestly, and then Dan continues to take it in a joking direction, so Phil picks it up and jokes back.
this feels jarring, at first, because at the time that this video released, i remember being surprised at how dark Dan was being, in a place that was clearly meant to be laughed off but was not executed like his typical cynicism. Phil follows along with laughing about it, because they are professionals and moving along is a quick way to handle something that does not need to escalate to an intervention/argument, but Phil does not joke about this from the beginning-- he is very earnestly assuring, at first, before realizing that Dan is doubling down, and he backs off. and he actually does this a lot across their videos: following Dan's lead.
20:48 is when Phil starts the actual outro of the video. at 20:51, after thanking the audience for watching the video, he gestures at Dan and turns to say: "Thanks, Dan-" to which Dan cuts him off to say, "Thank you for tolerating my presence." Phil continues his earlier sentence, correcting Dan by saying, "for treating us with your presence."
this is done (1) immediately and (2) deliberately. there is no shift in Phil's facial expression, no muddling or joking about what he is saying. Dan, in this moment, is reverting and doubling down on the self-deprecation we started to hear just a moment ago, and Phil is responding to it not by cutting Dan off, or bantering about it, or scolding him, but by very clearly correcting it. Dan is asserting what he believes to be the truth-- this does not read like his regular cynical humor-- and Phil is, in turn, asserting his truth just as confidently: that Dan is, as he said at the very beginning of this video, "a gift" for the audience. That Dan is creating something beautiful, that it's not his fault what is happening to him, and that both the audience and Phil want him.
the outro continues on, and Phil does his promotional stuff, explicitly including Dan in pretty much everything he promotes. here's my best attempt at a screenshot where you can see how close the two of them moved together over the course of this video; this is Phil telling people to subscribe to Dan.
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Dan then says, at the very end of the video, that "it has been... a year." Phil doesn't express much facially, but he does say a very clear, "yeah." as Dan goes on to close out the video. in the end cards, Dan's end card says: "DANIEL!" obvious excitement and endearment here.
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... okay, that's cool Mare, but you started writing this two hours ago and i don't understand why i needed to read any of that?
this video holds a very different tone to the others in the series, which is possibly why it is not a favorite for many people. it is a funny video, undeniably, but it is very clear in hindsight that this was shot while Dan was in a relapse. which is why it is so meaningful and loud to me that Phil not only brought this series back unexpectedly, but also exhibits this 'pressing forward and pulling them both back' strategy. they laugh about texts, Phil does their joint promotions, and then Dan says something self-deprecatory-- Phil steps up to sincerely counter it, and then pulls them both back as the next jump cut happens. the two of them are in-step, here, matching each other: Dan and Phil alternate discussing Dan's solo work issues; Phil picks up when Dan is trying to make a joke and joins in on it; when Dan self deprecates, Phil takes the same exact sentence and changes a singular word without a visual second thought. they do this all together.
there are a lot of ways to navigate self-deprecation. notably, when arising from a serious internal crisis colored by depression, you can't reason them directly out of it-- it's an immutable truth, to them, something that the world has affirmed. when Dan says that the internet would be better without him, that his presence is merely to be tolerated, you can tell that in the moment of this video's filming he did genuinely believe this. Phil recognizes that any attempt he makes to combat this has to be subtle enough to look over, but clear enough that the audience registers it in their head. it has to be said like it is an obvious truth, because to Phil (and us) it is an obvious truth. and it has to be done in line with Dan, not cutting him off or speaking over him, but by giving him the agency to express how he feels, and informing him, gently, that Phil is in love with him even if Dan is struggling to love himself.
Phil wanted us all to know in this video that Dan was being mistreated, even before any of us knew what that actually meant. even as Dan dealt with the psychological repercussions of this on his own mentally, it reminds us that Phil was there the entire time, Phil saw it and he grieved, too, because if the hiatus showed us anything it is that Phil loves Dan's solo work and his creative mind more than pretty much anything, aside from Dan himself. he also tried to emphasize, at the beginning and the end and even in the foundations of the video, that Dan being there was a treat! not something to be taken for granted! that Dan was something special, something the world desired, and yes that may sound obvious given that we were all there eagerly waiting for joint content, but in the context that Dan was being used for billboards and specials and whatever the fuck just because he could, that he was conscripted into projects and then forgotten about, that his own dreams 'fell through the cracks'... yeah.
a major reason why the hiatus years are so fond in my heart is that they are a clear period of time where you can see Phil's relentless devotion to Dan. he does the most that he can to support him-- he brings him onto a fun joint video, he promotes his merch, he really promotes his book, he coaxes Dan to talk more about solo projects, and he emphasizes that he wants him there. and this is all why this video in particular is so meaningful to me. it's the two of them, unexpectedly for us, bringing back a series where they revel in their insane psychic connections with each other, and it's Phil saying over and over and over again-- this person is with me. i am by his side. i am proud of him, and i radically refuse to take him for granted. he can never go anywhere that i won't follow him.
and that, that is everything.
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thetarsier · 2 years ago
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heyyy!! i hope you’re well!! i was hoping you could write a jealous!aaron x reader where she’s basically getting hit on while she’s at girls night and maybe penelope snaps a picture of her and the guy and sends it to the BAU gc and aaron basically drives over and suprises you because he was jealous
a/n: hi! thank you for the request, lovely, i was so excited to write this one :)
Word Count: 2k
Warnings/notes: drinking, asshole-type men (yes that's a warning)
<3: aaron hotchner x fem!reader, established relationship
Girls' night always - always - ended in one of your own getting hit on. Usually, it was JJ, but Emily fielded her fair share of creepy drunk men. Penelope tended to go after men herself, and you were the quiet one that laughed along with the others at the strange men eyeing them up. Rarely were you ever the target of their affections. 
It was something that the other girls constantly tried to change, with JJ repeatedly pointing you out to the men who came over to the table (which almost always ended in you ducking away to the bathroom until the guy got the hint). They didn’t know that you were more than content being an observer of their conversations, happy to celebrate the numbers Emily and Penelope received and laugh over the rejections of the men that came after JJ. 
They didn’t know, because they all still thought that you were single. You’d never told them otherwise, and that was mostly because of who you were currently dating: Aaron Hotchner, your boss. 
It was a connection that blossomed over the many years of you being at the BAU, not the same as some rushed, half-assed attempt to score during a night out. He loved you, and you loved him, and you were trying to take it slow out of the eyes of your coworkers. It’d worked for almost two years now with only a few minor slip-ups that were easy to explain away to the people who’d witnessed them. 
Not Rossi, however. Rossi had you two figured out almost as soon as you started to take things seriously, and now he acted as your protector. He changed subjects, scolded, and made those who questioned you or Aaron seem stupid. He was the perfect person to have as a secret keeper, mostly because he didn’t have it in him to care that much. 
And he’d done a beautiful job, too. It was a running joke on the BAU group chat that Penelope’s mission on your nights out was to find you someone to go home with. This was why, despite your usual invisibility, when a guy approached you at the bar, you were left alone with him, your girlfriends disappearing into the crowd around you. 
“-And so, yeah, I would say I’m self-made. I mean, my dad did lend me most of the money I used to actually start up, and all of my customers came from the family company, too, but I run the place, you know?” The guy interrupted his ramblings to take a sip from his beer, and you continued your nodding. 
You were used to listening to fast ramblings, thanks to Spencer, but usually his monologues were interesting, and you could follow them with relative fascination. This guy was just… awful. At storytelling, and being a good conversationalist in general.
“He hasn’t stopped talking this whole time,” JJ observed from their table, shaking her head, “Can’t imagine he’s particularly decent.”
“She hasn’t walked away, yet, though,” Emily shrugged, “Maybe he’s like Reid?”
“Does he look like Reid?” Penelope pulled her phone out of her bag, “Doesn’t matter. Mission half accomplished - everyone has to see this.”
She snapped a photo of the two of you, him leaning into you, you leaning onto the bar. From an outsider's perspective, with the angle that Penelope had taken the photo, it might have looked like you were enjoying his advances more than you actually were. You felt the vibration in your pocket as Penelope sent your photo to the group chat, but you didn’t look, too focussed on how you were going to get out of the man’s company without causing a scene to care about what your phone was doing.
“Oh, look,” Emily pointed to Penelope’s phone, “Morgan’s already responded-” She switched to a lower tone of voice as she read out the man’s text. “-Doesn’t count, Babygirl. Nobody’s gone home yet.”
“He’s right, you know,” JJ looked back at you and the man, “And I don’t think this is a match made in heaven.”
“I can’t keep losing this bet!” Penelope complained as she shoved her phone back in her bag and sat down, disheartened. 
“Ha!” Emily laughed, looking at her own phone, “Hotch has seen it.”
“Oh, that’s embarrassing,” JJ stifled her own laugh by taking a sip of her drink, “Delete it, Garcia. Her boss has seen that.”
“He’s seen it all - he’s in the group chat,” Penelope defended, “Maybe the embarrassment of her constant failure will lure her into a perfect match.”
“That makes sense,” Emily commented sarcastically, eyes roaming over the crowd. 
You laughed politely at the man’s joke before averting your eyes down to your lemonade. You weren’t supposed to be the designated driver - the four of you were meant to get a cab - but once you’d found out about Penelope’s plan, you’d switched to non-alcoholic drinks. 
It wasn’t that you didn’t trust yourself, but you studied serial killers and rapists for a living, and you knew that some men liked to take advantage. If you were drunk, you couldn’t defend yourself as well as if you were sober. Usually, it wasn’t an issue - you had your girls - but sometimes the anxiety was too much for you to enjoy a drink, and that anxiety only increased tenfold when you were left alone with a guy.
The man’s droning on was getting so tedious that when you looked over his shoulder and saw Aaron - neat suit and all - you thought you had imagined him. Then, when he started moving closer, you started to worry that he would get the wrong idea. 
But, he knew you, and you could tell by his caution that he was well aware of how you were feeling, tuned into your discomfort. Once you’d confirmed that your boyfriend was, in fact, in the same bar as you, you smiled and communicated with your eyes something that you hoped sounded like: ‘Get the hell over here right now.’
“Excuse me,” Aaron attached himself to your side, and you instantly felt safer, “What are we talking about over here?”
“Hey, back off, man,” The guy stood up straighter, and Aaron slipped an arm around your waist, “I’ve been talking to her all night.”
“Yes, and clearly it was riveting conversation,” Aaron eyed the many empty bottles surrounding the two of you and then your own singular glass of lemonade with disdain, “But it’s time to say goodnight.”
He didn’t even allow the man to say anything else, just used his grip on your waist to spin the two of you around and toward where he knew the girls were sitting. His arm left your waist once the two of you were no longer shielded by other people, and as you approached the tall table, sliding into the spare chair, you scowled at Penelope. 
“Next time you try to set me up against my will, at least make sure he’s not a jerk.” 
“Next time, my love.” She promised, placing a warm hand on your shoulder. 
Aaron stood to your right, in between you and JJ, and you gestured to him as you looked between your three friends, “Look at who had to come and save me,” You feigned annoyance, and acted as though you were secretly telling the girls of your embarrassment, “How did you even know we were here?”
“Oh, my God. He saw the photo.” Penelope gasped.
“The what?”
“Garcia put a photo of you and the guy on the group chat to try and prove that she’d succeeded in her mission,” JJ admitted, amusement swimming in her blue eyes as she looked between you and Aaron. 
“Oh, you’re asking for an HR case,” You pointed a finger at the flamboyant blonde, who smiled sweetly at you, tucking her hands underneath her chin, “You sent a picture of me at a bar to all of my colleagues?”
“If it makes you feel any better, Morgan said it doesn’t count.”
“Oh, great, so you sent my picture to my colleagues, and it didn’t even count.” You were only joking with them, and each of them was well aware of that fact. 
“Still,” Emily turned her attention back to Aaron, “Why are you here?”
You also turned to look back at him as he rubbed the back of his neck. He clearly hadn’t thought much past the initial urge to save you from your misery, and you were sure that not even Rossi could’ve lied your way out of the situation. 
“Um…” He narrowed his eyes, brain working overtime for something believable, “I was here already for, the, uh…” 
His eyes darted down to yours in desperation. You laughed at him, leaning your head back onto his shoulder and reaching your hand down to grab at his. The secrecy was on your account, as most things in your relationship were; not only because he was technically your boss, but also because he was head-over-heels obsessed with you. It was created on your account, and you would be the one to break it. 
“Okay, guys, there’s a reason why I never go home with anyone from the bar…” You grinned, peeking up at Aaron from where the back of your head rested just below his chin before you looked back at the girls. 
Penelope was shocked into silence, her mouth wide open, hands stuck out by her sides, JJ was sporting a happy smile of her own, and Emily had a hand over her mouth, eyes blown with shock. After a few seconds of silence, where Aaron squeezed your hand to soothe both of your nerves, the group sprung into action. 
“Oh, my God!” Emily chuckled, “I knew there was something going on. I knew it!” 
“Oh, this is… This is…” Penelope waved her hands around. 
“Wonderful,” JJ finished, reaching over to touch your other hand that rested on the table, “And congratulations - you had everyone fooled.”
“It’s been hard,” You conceded, “Sometimes during hard cases, it was slightly too hard, but we’ve gotten through it.”
“Oh, you guys,” Penelope tilted her head to the side, “You’re too adorable.”
“And on that note,” You smiled, picking up your purse, “I think we should probably go.”
You said your goodbyes, and Aaron managed to get out his own through his uncharacteristic blushes and stutters, and you made your way out to Aaron’s car, hand in hand. 
“Why did you come?” You asked him out of curiosity once he’d climbed into his side of the car.
“Honest answer?” He raised an eyebrow and you nodded, turning your body towards his, “Really, I saw that photo of you with the guy, and I didn’t even think about it. I just got in the car.”
“Oh, you were jealous,” You teased, poking his arm gently, “It’s okay, Hotchner, I’m all yours, anyway.”
“Good,” He leaned over the centre console, fingers gripping your chin and encouraging your face closer to his, “Because I’m all yours.” 
Each of his kisses was a seal to his promise.
It was only in the morning, when you finally checked your phone after a night with Aaron, that you realised another photo had been snapped of you. One of you and Aaron walking out of the bar holding hands. Penelope had sent it to the group chat with the message ‘Mission finally successful.’ 
The group chat had barely shut up since, question after question rolling into your inbox.  
You groaned, falling back into your pillow, where Aaron kissed a path from the tip of your middle finger to your cheek, smiling against your skin. 
“If it makes you feel any better, Dave will stop bothering us about telling the truth now,” He mumbled into your neck, and you sighed, a smile on your face as you played with his hair. 
“Very true, Hotchner. Just remember: it was your jealousy that got us into this mess, so you’re dealing with the questions we’re going to get.”
He laughed into your skin, an agreement.
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roseykat · 1 year ago
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KINKTOBER DAY 16
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TITLE: If the collar fits
PAIRING: Seungmin x reader
WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won't be able to regulate every single interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work or page whatsoever.
SUMMARY: Seungmin can't stand brats. But he is more than willing to train one into submission no matter how hard it is for him. A blurb on how Seungmin takes his brat aka you.
TAGS: brat taming, mentions of sex, orgasms, orgasm denial, overstimulation, sex toys, degradation (sort of), also use of degrading names.
KINKTOBER23 - MASTERLIST
TAGLIST: @mal-lunar-28 @luneskies @kibs-and-bits @dreamingaboutjisung @queenmea604 @aaasia111 @fairy-lixie @kbitties
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Brat tamer Seungmin is unapologetically harsh. His method of training you out of bad habits shows how unreluctant he is in letting you have good things, but knows that it’s necessary to enforce good behaviour. In saying that, what would you have done for Seungmin to switch into a brat tamer?
It starts with not listening in bed. If you’re cumming and he’s telling you not to, it’ll be an hour's worth of orgasm denial for the next session in the bedroom. If so, Seungmin is incredible at withholding his own pleasure in order to make you suffer.
Orgasm torture is his other method of approach to subduing your bratty tendencies. In that case, you’d have to be prepared to orgasm repeatedly, over and over again until there’s a small puddle beneath your body. It’s actually one of his favourite options because he can be so mean with it.
He’d say things like, “you want to cum so bad, have at it,” “fucking whore just keeps cumming, huh?”, “you want to stop? What’s that, it’s too much for you? Cry about it.” But tears don’t work on him either. He knows it’s a way in which to make him feel sorry for you when he doesn’t.
Another method for you may be some form of temporary abstinence from his body, specifically his cock. He might just fuck and cum in your mouth then not give you anything in return so you can have a taste of your own medicine.
But there’s a way in which Seungmin will make you get off on him without him having to do anything and it can be so fucking frustrating. Firstly, he’s fixing a collar around your neck and attaching a lead to it so he can control your movements. After that, he’s sitting down in a chair, you’re still on the ground, and he will make you get off on his leg or shoe for that matter.
It’s actually embarrassing and degrading because Seungmin isn’t entirely involved in the process of trying to get you to cum, he just sits there watching you try to hump his leg until you get an orgasm that fizzles out relatively quickly. But he knows it’s a good way to reinforce to you that, that is what happens when you misbehave.
Also, hiding away all your toys is surefire way of ensuring that you’re not getting any pleasure even when he’s not around. Vibrators, dildos, plugs, the lot - hidden and you won’t get them back unless Seungmin thinks you’ve learnt your lesson.
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A/N: once again, I’m really sorry for not updating much with this last week/few days of Kinktober. For those who don’t know, I’m overseas and have work stuff throughout the day so it’s hard for me to continue writing my works! It’s been tiring and I really just want to go home lmao but thank you for bearing with me xxx
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dreaming-hibi · 6 months ago
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Everyone seems to forget that Tsuna is affected not by one but by TWO "bad" parents. In this essay I will bring down both Iemitsu and Nana.
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Iemitsu is considered a bad parent because Tsuna himself says so, and we gotta trust what the victim says. If Tsuna claims his father is a deadbeat father, than that's what his father is. Iemitsu might be a respected chief, an understanding mentor and a loving husband, there is no denying he fulfills those roles wonderfully well however, he falls short on his role as a father and that's the role Tsuna most needs out of him. Tsuna doesn't need his father to be a respected chief or an understanding mentor or a loving husband, he needs his father to be a father first and foremost. Instead, Iemitsu tells Nana to claim he was dead/missing. And she did (and I'll be coming back to this later). Now, not only did Tsuna have to live with the fact that his father up and left the house, he had to live with the fact that his father was also, very likely, dead.
Iemitsu-father was dead to Tsuna for two years, the boy had definitely come to terms with it by the start of the series. Except, Iemitsu wasn't dead at all. While it's treated as a comedy skit in the manga, the absolute rollercoaster of emotion Tsuna must have felt at that moment is unimaginable. "I lived with my mom and dad but then my dad started leaving for work until one day he stopped coming home, and then my mom told he was missing but he actually wasn't... oh, and he involved me in some dangerous mafia business", try explaining that to a therapist.
Offenses committed by Iemitsu:
Leave his son without an explanation while his son was at a vulnerable age (Tsuna was at least old enough to remember his dad leaving the house)
Telling his wife to write him off as dead/missing because "It's more romantic that way" (I haven't seen the episode in years but I just checked and that's exactly what he said, wtf)
Appearing in his son's life after being "dead" for years without a reasonable explanation (and no, claiming that he was doing that to protect his family is not an explanation, that's an excuse)
Appearing in his son's life only after he got said son involved in the mafia business
Disappearing as soon as everything is over and not being heard of again until he wants to
Acting like a father when he killed that role himself
I can understand the first offense, after all, Tsuna was a small boy when Iemitsu left. "You were a child, there was no need for you to know" is something adults repeatedly say when they refuse to elaborate on why they kept a child in the dark; and that's something I understand, I don't condone it but I do understand it. But Tsuna was clearly at an age where he could remember his dad leaving, he was at an age where he was emotionally grown-up enough to see his father leaving the house as being the same as being abandoned.
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ツナ 「オレと母さんを残して ずっと家を空けてたあんな奴に・・・」
Tsuna uses the word 残す (nokosu) which means "to leave (behind)", which often carries a sense of forgetfulness, as though the act of leaving something behind was done because the person forgot about. "He left behind my mom and me" = "He forgot about us and left". And then he goes on to say "That guy (derogative) was always away from home", which further drives the point that Tsuna has some strong resentment towards his father for leaving without being heard of.
The second offense is, in my humble opinion, bullshit. The japanese use this particular word 「ロマン」 (roman) which is many times translated as "romantic", but which is used to describe a feeling of "pursuing impossible dreams or ideals which deeply define a character". This particular word is mostly used by japanese men to describe a feeling of longing for impossible dreams and ideals that women just cannot understand.
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See what I mean?
Nana (I'm coming for you so sit tight) is so japanese in her essence that she's a woman who is attracted by the idea of a man chasing his impossible dreams (a man who is living the roman), and Iemitsu feeds on that by telling her to write him off as gone and "as becoming one with the stars", because that's more romantic than telling your kid his dad will be doing construction work. A husband and a wife who very obviously love each other and who both think living by their ideals is a much higher priority than their responsibility towards the child they brought into the world. The third offense shows how different Iemitsu and Tsuna are. Iemitsu claims he was keeping his family in the dark because that was how he protected them (through ignorance), and that's bullshit and Tsuna shows us exactly why, like a 100 or so chapters later. During the Future Arc, Tsuna was made to choice between telling his friends the whole truth or keeping them in the dark for their own safety (like Iemitsu). Tsuna decides to say the truth, because he knows what it means and what it feels like to be kept in the dark, especially regarding something that concerns the person directly. Tsuna made that decision because he had been in a similar position.
The fourth offense is perhaps there to show how incapable of being a father Iemitsu is. Iemitsu reappears in Tsuna's life only after Tsuna becomes involved with the mafia, because that's what Iemitsu is good at: the mafia. Perhaps Iemitsu was more involved in the mafia than he was in a normal family situation, which is why he lacks as a father, because he very simply doesn't know how to be a father. He can train, mentor and support Tsuna in the mafia way because that's what he knows how to do, however, that's not what Tsuna needs nor wants. Tsuna needed a father, but that father wrote himself off (so Tsuna unknowingly got another father and this one refuses to leave him alone) and Tsuna had to come to terms with the fact that he didn't have a father to depend on. And that's where the conflict between Tsuna and Iemitsu comes from: Iemitsu trying to act like a dad to the son he had educated to think of him as dead.
To Tsuna the situation must be something like this: his dad gave him up for adoption and now keeps coming back, trying to act like a dad because now the two of them shared the same hobby.
Sorry, Iemitsu, Tsuna found himself a better dad! Although you succeeded in ruining the dad-role for him, so now he's left with some complicated feelings towards Reborn, whom he sees as a figure he can depend on but whom he cannot call "dad" in fear it might end up like it did with you.
His fifth offense ties in with his fourth. Iemitsu only appears when there is something about the mafia going on and then disappears as soon as the situation is no longer related to the mafia. He only tries to act like a father to Tsuna when the mafia is involved, and that is absolute bullshit because that boy needs a father even outside of the mafia.
And finally his last and most important offense: how Iemitsu killed the image of a father in Tsuna's head.
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At hearing the news that his father will be back home, after 2 years, Tsuna's shocked reaction is treated more as a joke than a legitimate emotion someone might have towards the sudden undeadness of a father. Nana, his own mother, even goes as far as belittling him and his intelligence when she says (more explicitly in the anime): "Aww Tsuna, you actually believed that story about his disappearance?" and then "How do you think we pay for your school expenses and food, if he were really gone?"
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Iemitsu intentionally killed the existence known as "dad" in Tsuna's head, and Nana helped. Tsuna started the series convinced he no longer had a dad, which is why he ended up depending on Reborn, because Reborn was the first authoritative figure that called him a loser to his face while also believing Tsuna was much more than that. Reborn appeared exactly as the kind of figure Tsuna didn't know he needed in his life.
Though both Reborn and Iemitsu are there because of the mafia, Reborn stays for more than just the mafia, and Tsuna can see that. Iemitsu only interacts with Tsuna when the mafia is involved, while Reborn is there for him regardless of whether or not the mafia is involved. Reborn was sent there to make Tsuna the next boss, yet all Reborn did was make this loser of a kid get some confidence in himself and make some friends. Between a tutor whose intentions he knows (he's there to make him boss but somehow he's also trying to make him into a better person) and a dad whose intentions he doesn't know (he tries to teach him this mafia thing he really doesn't want to be involved in), Tsuna's heart chose the one figure he didn't know he always wanted in his life.
Nice going, Tsuna!
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I bring this conversation between Tsuna and Iemitsu, which I think further shows the conflict between them.
ツナ 「帰ってこなかったあんたが オレの何が知っている!!」
家光 「お前は愛する母さんとの間に生まれた 俺の息子だ」
Tsuna: "What could you possibly understand about me?! If you're never home!" Iemitsu: "You are my son, born between me and the woman I love."
In what is a typical parent cliche, Iemitsu claims he knows Tsuna solely based on the fact that Tsuna is his son. This is a psychological trap which many parents seem to fall for: a belief that they will always know their children best because it is their children (and that their children might not know themselves because they are still children). Iemitsu fails to acknowledge that Tsuna is his own person and that he might not want to live by his ideals. As to why parents do this? Well, ego, most likely. A parent thinks themselves a god because they created a child, and refuse to acknowledge the fact that their child is just another person they will have to learn to know.
Now, Sawada Nana. The amount of information on this woman is so little that she might as well be of little influence to the plot, expect she's not!
Let's start from the beginning. Nana is described as being kind, but her kindness seems to only go so far, as she will and does ignore things she does not want to deal with. Reborn kicks her son in front of her? She leaves them alone. Her son keeps coming home with mysterious injuries? She ignores it.
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Again, all of these are treated as comedy, and Nana is just like any other anime/manga mother. She appears as a 1-dimensional character with no other role than to be there for every other character that isn't her son.
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Nana, like Iemitsu, does the bare minimum for Tsuna as a mother. She does provide him with meals and a roof, however she completely neglects the emotional support the boy very obviously needs. There are instances in which she even belittles his feelings (such as when Tsuna was freaking out over his father's appearance and she proceeded to laugh and point out his naiveness at believing her lie).
What kind of freaking mother makes fun of their son for believing something they said?
Certainly not a good one!
And lastly, it was Nana who allowed and helped Iemitsu in being a bad father. Tsuna holds his mother in high respect because he believes Iemitsu abandoned her too, and that is why it is easier for him to forgive her and not his father. However, it was through Nana's emotional neglect that Iemitsu ended up ruining the image of a father in Tsuna's head — her passiveness is what allowed Tsuna to grow into the weak-willed character we meet in the beginning of the series.
In conclusion, both Iemitsu and Nana are to blame for Tsuna's loser behavior. So, if we're gonna talk about how bad of a father Iemitsu is, we should acknowledge the fact that Tsuna has a mother who allowed all of that to happen.
You're welcome to step up and shoot me, I'm open to constructive criticism!
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osmanthus-wine-addiction · 2 months ago
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05 Collaring
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Zhongli x Reader / NSFW / SAGAU / Set after the events of Fontaine Archon Quest / Not Canon-Compliant / Reader is Creator Primordial God 2.0 / Mentions of romanticized death and suicidal ideation / Starts out light & kinky and ends up dark and angsty as with everything I write
"Your Grace?" The old god's voice trembled as he approached you.
Stagnant emotions stirred to life in the depths of his amber eyes. There you stood in front of him, like a resurrected phantom from his distant past, familiar yet so unrecognizable.
A warm smile spread over your lips. Out of all the faces in Teyvat, you looked forward to seeing his the most.
Zhongli had always been your favorite of the seven Archons. From the moment you laid eyes on him, he had a certain hold over you. That had always been the case for the past four years. It was no different now that you were no longer separated by a screen.
The moment you spawned, curled up in that oversized marble throne up in the sky over Teyvat, they all felt it. Memories flooded into your head, causing you to nearly vomit from the overload. Just your luck. Instead of some unknown adventurer, the role you had been thrust into was that of the game's final antagonist, the Creator of Teyvat, which had been asleep until you appeared.
"You've finally returned." He said gravely.
"You don't sound happy to see me, Morax." You took a seat in the lacquered chair in front of him, sipping on the tea he had brought you. "Or should I call you Zhongli now, since you've abandoned the post given to you?"
You couldn't let him onto the fact that you weren't the same person who had given him his divine title, not without ensuring your own safety first. You might be down bad for this man, but your braincells were still alive and well. Out of the seven archons the original Creator appointed, only two remained. Most have given away their gnosis and one even managed to destroy their divine seat and return sovereignty to a dragon. It was needless to say, Celestia's control over them had been slipping long before you stepped in.
"I have not, your Grace. My exit was necessary for the people of Liyue. If I did not leave, I fear the erosion I am subjected to under the Heavenly Principles will cause undue harm to them, which I cannot bear to see."
"If you wanted to leave, why are you still mingling with them disguised as a funeral consultant, hm?" You couldn't help but prod him a little. "You're quite attached to them, aren't you?"
"I am." He admitted after a pause. "Anything will grow on you given enough time."
"I guess we've grown distant then. You even threw away the gnosis I gave you."
"Forgive me, your Grace. There was no indication that you would ever return otherwise."
"I'd understand if we're speaking about the Anemo Archon, but you? I never took you for the impulsive sort. What would you have done if the Cryo Archon failed? I left you with all of my wishes and you gambled everything on an experiment to bring me back."
The ex-archon drew in a deep breath. "I don't expect to escape the consequences. Punish me as you see fit."
"Oh, I'll punish you." The corner of your lips curled slightly. "Not too harshly though. You're my favorite afterall."
You didn't miss the ripple of shock that lit up his eyes momentarily. The Creator he remembered would never have said such a thing. Maybe you should tone the favoritism down a bit. Morax wasn't dumb. If he found out the Creator had been hijacked, you might actually be in trouble.
Well, that part didn't exactly pan out as you imagined. You were spending way too much time with him even though you deliberately told yourself to avoid him when you could. Even with the original Creator's memories to skim over, you were ultimately not the same person. Of course you would slip up, repeatedly at that. He kept popping up in places you happened to be at unannounced, drifting into his spot beside you like you had willed it to happen in your head. It was like all the forces in Teyvat, the earth, the wind, the rain, everything was giving its utmost efforts to fulfill some sort of unspoken demand of yours.
"Are you following me?" You finally couldn't take it anymore and blurted out your suspicions. "You're like my cat. I go to the bathroom, she's there. I go to the kitchen, she's there. Bedroom, there. She's like sticky rice. I know she can't leave me alone because she's obsessed with me. Are you obsessed with me?"
Zhongli stood there awkwardly, trying to articulate an explanation for his incessant appearances. He didn't even get the chance to process that you were talking about a cat that didn't even exist in Teyvat, but rather in your homeworld.
"It certainly seems that way, doesn't it, your Grace? I assure you though, I was simply on my way to purchase some tea."
Maybe he was telling the truth. Two things could be true at once. There must be a reason, you stubbornly thought. This wasn't normal!
You had to get down to the bottom of this, or you'll definitely drive yourself crazy. As a logical person tossed into a fantastical place like Teyvat, you were sorely out of your element. Trying to exercise common sense here was like trying to measure water with a ruler. It made no sense, but you persisted. You'd conduct experiments and find answers.
As the Creator of Teyvat, the first descender, your will was said to be powerful enough to rival the world. Your feats included sealing away its original sovereigns and rearranging its landscape. You also created life and implemented the heavenly principles that gave order and structure to the world you willed into existence. All who belonged to Teyvat succumbed to your will to some extent.
Your gaze landed on a stray cat pacing back and forth under a food stall. There was a morsel at the edge of the counter. You narrowed your eyes on it, focusing all your attention at it.
"Fall." You uttered under your breath.
A gust of wind knocked the inconspicuous piece of food off the edge, sending it spiraling to the ground. The cat picked it up and happily sprinted off. You were left speechless.
Once, it could be a coincidence. Twice, it might still be a coincidence. Third time, it had to be divine intervention.
After the lucky cat had its fill, you accepted the uncanny possibility that as the Creator god of Teyvat, you might have some say in what happens in it. Maybe, just maybe… you were the reason Zhongli couldn't leave you alone.
If you liked him a normal amount, he would have no trouble escaping your gravitational pull, but your love for him was a little bit extra. If you wanted him to kiss you badly enough, he would probably have to. Whether he trips and falls on you at exactly the right angle for your lips to accidentally meet or he suddenly gets an unreasonably strong urge to push you against a wall and smother you was more-or-less a matter of execution.
Zhongli was a patient soul. His kiss was gentle and unrushed like he was, savoring the taste and sensation of your lips as he caressed them. At that moment, your respective identities melted away. His arms held your body against his chest, his hands cradled the back of your head, and his fingers buried themselves in your hair. The streets of Liyue faded from your ears. All you could hear was your rapidly beating heart.
The kiss repeated itself inside your head for hours on end, stealing your sleep even after you had retreated into your bed. It hadn't happened out of nowhere since you willed it to happen, but the question still plagued you. Did you take advantage of him? Could that kiss even be considered a kiss? How much intention was invested on his end and if you weren't the Creator god of Teyvat, would a kiss have ever happened between you? Probably not, you dejectedly concluded.
"I'm not the original Creator, Zhongli." You finally confessed to him after months of indulgence and pretending. He hummed softly as you drew circles on his skin.
"Your Grace…" Zhongli gazes at you with overflowing adoration. "I've known there was something different about you from the moment I laid eyes on you."
"You did?" You asked, shifting your weight as you laid on him. "What gave it away?"
The two of you had definitely gotten a lot more intimate following that first kiss. You felt at ease in his arms and so you found yourself constantly glued to him. His presence was magnetic to you and yours to him.
"You do a rather poor job of concealing your true self, I must say." He chuckled.
"I was half-expecting you to kill me or something as soon as you knew I wasn't the original Creator." You closed your eyes, letting your face rest against the curve of his neck as his fingers combed through your hair. The last of your worries were expelled with his words of reassurance.
"Now why would I do something so uncalled for? You've done nothing to warrant such harsh retaliation."
"I don't know. What if you saw me as a threat to Liyue? I saw what the Tianquan Ningguang did to the Lord of the Vortex when he reared his head. She definitely learned that from somewhere."
Despite Rex Lapis being dead, you could still feel the intense residual devotion this place had for their past archon. You wondered if he felt the same reverence for the Creator before you arrived. From your inherited memories, the original Creator had a habit of dropping pointy things from the sky.
"I will not harm you, nor will I ever allow the others to." He whispered, his every word carrying weight.
Upon arrival in Teyvat, you had made your rounds visiting the other nations and meeting with the other archons. To their disappointment, you never stayed for long. Your favoritism was undeniable. You had practically taken up root in Liyue. The only place you skipped was Fontaine, since it was probably a good idea to avoid the resident Hydro Sovereign in case he opted to take out his justice on you. You wondered if he'd believe you if you said you weren't the original Creator who sealed away his kind.
"Of course you won't." You murmured against his ear. "Even though I'm not the same person, I'm still the Creater and you're still an archon. You're bound by my will. If I tell you to go left, you're not able to go right."
"I am not a puppet, your Grace." He disagreed. "Neither is your will a leash."
"Kiss me." You ordered him. "Let's see if you've got it in you to disobey me."
He raised a brow at your choice of a challenge. A couple seconds of silence passed between the two of you. You began to wonder if Zhongli really could resist your will. Your eyes fell on his lips. They were relaxed, not pressed tightly against each other. Your thoughts drifted off to the handful of times he kissed you. His lips were always gentle whenever they brushed against yours. What would it be like he were swept up in a bit of fervor? Would he draw your lips harshly between his own, or would he part them impatiently so that he could slip his tongue in?
Your throat suddenly became drier than the deserts of Sumeru. A faint blush began to spread over your cheeks. Zhongli swallowed, but didn't move in the slightest. You were already beginning to feel hot and restless. Who were you kidding? The one with the figurative collar around their neck was obviously you. You knew that since before you got sucked into this game.
"You're really not going to kiss me." You realized.
"I am not immune to you any more than anyone else residing in Teyvat. I simply have self-restraint." He calmly says, which gets your blood boiling.
"Fine, you've got self-restraint. I don't!"
You playfully bit the man on the lip before kissing him with vengeance. He moaned softly as he endured your incense ministrations.
"Well demonstrated." He chuckled when you finally pulled away.
"Tease me again and I'll put a collar on you." You warned.
"If you wish to do so, it's within your divine right." He replied with utmost seriousness.
You treated him so differently from the original Creator. If he didn't occasionally remind himself that there were irrefutable differences between you and him, he feared he'd forget his place. You were most likely joking, but perhaps a collar was what he needed.
"Should I?" You continued on, unaware of what was going on in the archon's mind. "Imagine the esteemed Mr Zhongli, being dragged along the streets of Liyue in a collar and leash…"
"Perhaps we could forego the leash?" He smiled at you, unfazed as if what you had just imagined was nothing out of the ordinary.
You looked into the old god's eyes. In his unwavering gaze you could read everything he didn't say, the depth of his devotion to you, all the outrageous things you could ever think of asking from him and the resounding answer to all of them.
"I'll allow it." You relented.
As the primoridal god of Teyvat, you had to keep your archon in line. Since you said you'd punish him, you had to see to it that he was properly disciplined.
That very evening, you dragged the poor archon to a number of shops, jewelry stalls, and even a petshop. You settled on a black choker with fine gold threading that formed an intricate pattern. It was simplistic and went along well with his current suit. A single cor lapis pendant dangled from the center.
Currently, that pendant was caught between your lips as you straddled him. Since he said it was your divine right to do as you pleased with him, you wanted to see how far he'd let you go with that statement. The silk choker really did look good on him, especially after you've removed every other piece of clothing on his body. Your fingers danced along the edge of it, hooking underneath it and abruptly twisting it so that it tightened around his neck.
"Your Grace—" He coughed from lack of air.
With Zhongli's eyes blindfolded and his arms tied, he couldn't predict your movements nor interrupt you. He was completely at your mercy. You let go of the choker, returning the ability to breathe to him. As if to apologize for the distress caused, you leaned in and planted a kiss at his neck, the tip of your tongue gliding along the skin under the piece of fabric. He swallowed and panted, face flushed.
"See, it suits you." You cooed, tracing his collar with a finger. "Don't you dare take it off. If you do, I promise I'll get that leash. Maybe even a whip."
Zhongli winced in pain as you bit into his neck, drawing the heated skin between your lips. It'd be fine even if you left an unsightly mark. The choker would simply cover it, along with the faint lines caused by your tightening it around his neck.
At times, he wished they had lasted a little longer. All of them had faded too quickly. The burden of your love was quite heavy, but it was one he considered himself lucky to have been chosen to bear. You had chosen him to experience those moments with, each of them preserved in his memories like gilded gems.
In all his thousands of years of existence, the old god never foresaw a day where the missing primordial Creator he had been waiting so long for would return as a completely different person. Furthermore, he could never have forseen this new Creator would be so enamored with him. While he was reasonably honored to receive this disproportionate favor, he had initially suggested you visit the other archons more instead of spending all your time in Liyue with him. That would be fair, he told you. In hindsight, after your departure, he was glad you never listened. Few things in life were fair. Your untimely departure was far from that. The things you were killed for, none of them were your doing, but nobody believed you except him. Zhongli had paid the ultimate price for taking your side, for trying to keep you for just a moment longer. It was barely enough time to utter a proper goodbye. You were gone, just as abruptly as you had arrived.
If you had not given him so much of your precious time, what would he recount and reminisce over now that you're gone? What memories would sustain him until he reaches the end of time?
All he could do was continue living, witnessing, waiting, just as he did the first Creator. Perhaps one day you'd return to him. Perhaps you wouldn't, and yet again, it'd only be a stranger. Perhaps he'd tell them about you, just as he told you about the one that came before you.
His heart would constrict painfully at the thought and he would momentarily lose the ability to breathe just like when you would tighten the choker around his neck. He often found himself absent-mindedly toying with the collar. It remained snugly around his neck like he promised you. It was such a simple request, demanded so casually of him. To you, it might’ve been a joke. Perhaps you had long forgotten about that silk choker you picked out for him. Maybe you had forgotten about him altogether, along with this place called Teyvat. But he couldn't. Even after you had long departed from Teyvat, he had never taken it off. A few times he had to reinforce it with adeptal arts in order to keep it from disintegrating into dust over time. He couldn't possibly allow such a precious gift from you part from him out of carelessness. It was all he had left to remind him of the brief time you spent with him.
He couldn't quite place why of all the memories you had planted in him, those of nearly suffocating by the choker in your hand had seared themselves deepest. Was it because those were the rare moments he felt the sweet release of death was nearly within his grasp? Thinking of you instilled a similar sensation, but it was never the same as when you inflicted him with it. As someone who had lived for so long, who had orchestrated his own death and staged his own funeral, it was a strange obsession to have.
For those who live too long, the faces of those who have come and gone continue to haunt their memories. Even so, he never regretted meeting you, loving you, and eventually losing you. Should the day ever come that he forgets you, or the collar you gifted him finally turns to dust, he only hoped that your memories of him would continue to glimmer like gold.
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kazz-brekker · 5 months ago
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hotd episode 4 thoughts:
bro!! that was fucking BRUTAL! i've known it was coming all season but holy shit i was NOT prepared for all of that!!!
before this season started people were saying that blood and cheese was going to be this show's red wedding, but honestly i 100% think it's rook's rest, actually! do not argue with me!
okay hang on let me try to have some coherent thoughts.
as a lover of all things gothic and weird, i am absolutely loving daemon having a terrible time at harrenhal. get haunted by your past bad decisions, loser!
i've been waiting all season to see how the alyn and addam subplot will play out and i really like the choice to have rhaenys be aware of her husband's bastard children (in the book she never learned), it makes a lot of sense since she and corlys know each other really well and she's very familiar with driftmark.
also i was not emotionally ready for them to take the route of rhaenys learning hours before her death that her husband repeatedly cheated on her lol.
alicent taking the moon tea as a parallel to rhaenyra doing the same in season 1 was a bit unexpected but i actually liked it, i feel like if you're going to write a story that's supposed to be heavily inspired by medieval history then you should include how women deal with contraceptives and abortion in that world.
jace and baela trying to run the council in rhaenyra's absence…they're doing they're best! but they really are just kids and should not have to deal with all of this!
getting the sense that gwayne hightower is maybe not super down with this whole "war" thing after all.
aemond shit-talking aegon in front of the whole council and using high valyrian so they don't understand him was such a delightfully bitchy usage of the language that i actually yelled aloud.
i have not forgotten season 1…whenever alicent and larys have a scene together i live in fear.
i'm also loving alys rivers so far, she's so perfectly unsettling and i'm really pleased they let gayle rankin keep her scottish accent.
they mentioned the names of TWO of the muppet tullys! and benjicot blackwood! and the return of willem blackwood! and a laena hallucation! gosh, daemon's little harrenhal council scenes had so many delicious callbacks and namedrops this episode.
alicent snarking at aegon…oh she really is losing her patience with him and just doesn't care at all anymore.
it's so good to see rhaenyra really taking a stand and making decisions this episode, but my god the pit of my stomach really dropped when rhaenys volunteered to fly to rook's rest.
i really liked the parallel moments with aegon and rhaenys getting ready to go to war, especially how it emphasized that the targaryens see their dragons not just as weapons but as companions too.
truly did not have on my bingo card that one of the participants of the first proper dragon battle this season would be drunk.
rook's rest was just! man! it was brutal!
this show really made us wait for the first dragon versus battle dragon battle, and it really didn't let me down.
the bit where aegon realizes that he's severely outmatched by meleys…the looks on everyone's faces when vhagar arrives…the dragons just screeching and clawing at each other and laying waste the whole field below them without even meaning to…those soldiers being crushed beneath vhagar's feet without her even noticing…vhagar seizing meleys by the throat and just shaking her…the look on rhaenys's face when she's falling…the impact of sunfyre and meleys just totally crushing everything below them…it fucking slapped!!
the aftermath was just as brutal as the battle, tbh. the look on criston cole's face when he realized what he set in motion and that he maybe just killed the king…oh buddy you fucked up REAL bad.
on a better note…more harrenhal drama and jace in the riverlands next week?
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months ago
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AITA for telling my mom to either get me what I've asked for, or to just get me gift cards?
This probably makes me sound horrible and ungrateful, but this is an issue I've had for about the last ten years of my life. I love my mother dearly, and I am so insanely grateful that we are in a financial position where we can receive gifts at all. I'd genuinely be happy with just a card and a cozy day in, but my mom always insists it isn't Christmas without at least one or two things under the tree.
I always ask her routinely as we inch toward the later months of the year what she'd like, and I do my best to get her exactly what she wants. I'll get her one or two other things too, like some skincare or chocolates or shoes or something, but I always stick to what she actually asks for.
If she asks me for a specific dress, she'll get it. If she asks me for a certain type of perfume, she'll get it.
The same....Cannot be said for her.
I've begged her over the years to just stick to getting me what I ask for. I don't ask for anything expensive. I think the most expensive thing I've ever asked for were concert tickets, and I offered to pay half. I just more or less wanted help actually getting them, because as we all know, concert tickets sell so fast its like you blink and they're gone, and the more people you have trying to get them the more chances of success.
Usually I'll ask for something like a particular poster I saw online, or a bedding set, a new phone case, ect. Small, easy to get things because honestly, I don't need that much.
What I actually end up with is a bunch of random stuff I will never use and clothing I'd never wear and once or twice, tickets to do things I hate doing.
Its like she asks me what I want then goes out of her way to get me the exact opposite of what I've asked for. She always pouts at me and berates me for 'looking disappointed' or never using anything she gets me (I hold onto it for a few months then quietly give it away to a friend or thrift store).
It makes me feel guilty, but this is a conversation we have every. Single. Christmas.
(For example I'll ask for, say, a pair of white shoes. What I'll actually get is a box of wind up toys from the dollar store, expensive paint brushes when I've never touched paint in my life, and a box of chocolates from a brand I don't like.)
This year, once again, she asked me for my list, and I just gave her some stores and told her I'd like gift cards to those places. She gave me a weird look and dropped it, but asked again a few times, and each time I just reiterated what stores I wanted gift cards to.
Well lo behold, I come home from college and there's packages under the tree. Proper packages, not just envelopes or anything else that a gift card would realistically be in.
I guess I was staring at the tree with a weird/sour expression, because it wound up starting an argument between us. Her argument was she's getting me gifts, I should be grateful, and she tries really hard but I'm just 'impossible to please.'
My argument is I tell her repeatedly exactly what I want and not once have I ever gotten what's actually on my list. In which case, why the fuck should I bother writing a list? I'd rather have the gift cards so I can buy exactly what I wanted in the first place.
She said I ask for clothes, I get clothes. I said I ask for specific clothes and she gets me ones that I wouldn't even look at in the store, let alone buy.
The whole argument ended up with her calling me an ungrateful asshole and confiscating my gifts to return them all after the New Year. She told me I can just have the money from returning them and 'be fucking happy for once.'
Its Christmas Eve and she's still not speaking to me. I feel terrible, but I'm also relieved. Either this means from now on she won't get me anything, or from now on if she asks for my list she'll actually get me what's on it.
My dad is staying in the middle. He said I'm right, and over the years he's tried to convince her not to buy all that stuff, but he also said I should've just done what I always do, fake a smile, and get rid of it later.
Is he right or was this fight a blessing in disguise? Am I the asshole for ruining Christmas or am I justified in voicing what I have for the last ten years running?
What are these acronyms?
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xserpx · 11 days ago
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morse for the ask game?
How I feel about this character?
(Caveating this with the fact I haven't yet watched Inspector Morse, so this is only about Endeavour.)
Normally I'm not at all a fan of whump and I don't like feeling sad for well-meaning characters who are hurt repeatedly through (mostly) no fault of their own, but I really love Morse's brand of melancholia. The way he struggles to deal with change is too damn real, I'm a sucker for characters who struggle to voice their feelings and whose anxiety causes them to say nothing, because bitch me too. I also like that he's shy but it's kind of a selective shyness? Like if you catch him at the right moment or say a certain thing, he can be very snappish and outspoken and even funny, but then in those (incredibly important!) moments where he feels truly vulnerable, he just clams up, and it's heartbreaking and delicious to watch.
It's also undeniable that he is a massive prick sometimes. His treatment of women, his pretentiousness, there are moments when I want to slap him upside the head and I'm like you deserve this shit buddy! Monica my beloved, she deserved so much better from him. As much as he craves deeper connections with people and as much as I really want him to find a place to belong and settle down, it's so clear why he can't, why he shouldn't, and it's so deep rooted that in a way if he actually made a more concerted to change and do better he'd pretty much be a different person. And I like that the show never compromises on providing answers or catharsis for his struggles. Change happens, that's life, and there's often no way to deal with it that doesn't hurt.
I also love his dark academia style and the way it's grounded in finding meaning/belonging. It's not that it doesn't give him a sense of superiority at times, but like... that was his rebellion in the face of anti-intellectualism and abuse at home, and in a way I feel like he's earned the right to that pretentiousness. I think it dilutes some of the intimidating effect that opera and classics and poetry can have - some people listen to the Beatles, he listens to Wagner, one thing isn't "better" than another - but without binning it off entirely so that we still get to enjoy the commentary on classism. Plus watching him school the Oxford dons is always fun :P.
All the people I ship romantically with this character?
Romantically, hmm... The trouble is I end up feeling sorry for either Morse himself or whatever woman he's got his eye on at the time!
I love Joan and Morse, and I'd love for them to work things out, but the more time passes the less and less suited they seem to be. It's one of those relationships that's more about yearning than it is about getting together. They struggle to communicate and they're constantly miserable. He puts her on a pedestal because of her family, and Joan likes him because he's an enigma, and they can't move past that. But at the same time, fanfic exists for a reason, and I still love the yearning despite it all.
I'm not sure if I ship it romantically per se, but Max is another one where I feel like they could be more than friends, they're very Sherlock and Watson (and this fic by gaytobymeres is so good I love it). That scene with Morse and Max having tea in Max's garden is one of my favourites in the series, and I want that life for Morse so badly! Literalllyyy at the end of Exeunt I was like dude just move in with Max!! He'll never leave Oxford! He'll come along to your choral recitals! You have way more interests in common than any of your girlfriends have thus far! And he's lonely too, bless him ;w;.
My non-romantic OTP for this character?
I don't think there's a single character I don't ship Morse with platonically?? All I want in the world is a pub quiz fic featuring all of Cowley CID (and Trewlove) but I'm not clever or patient enough to write it. I wish we had more teamwork episodes tbh, and I think that's the best thing about seasons 5 & 6 (as dissipated as CID is at the start, that just makes them coming back together all the more heartwarming).
Morse & Thursday are of course the freaking bedrock of the show, they're just insanely good and I genuinely want them to be together forever. As much as he misses Joan at the end, I really want a happy ending where Thursday and Morse can stay together. At the same time, what with the whole men in the 60s reinforcing one another's emotional repression, I kind of wonder what would've happened if Thursday had been able to steer Morse in a different direction, and if it would have had a knock-on effect with helping Morse express his feelings for Joan and maybe end up somewhere better. But their characters are so intertwined it's hard to separate out the what-ifs. I do think Thursday had more of an impact on Morse than Morse did on Thursday, but you could maybe chalk that up to age. Leopards don't change their spots, etc. Still... lamenting lost potential is what grief is.
I'm also a huge fan of Morse & Trewlove tbh, he's so relaxed around her?? He tells her stuff he never tells anyone else?? They fake marry?? Ridiculously sweet. They share the trait of being incredibly dedicated and detailed in their work, and it bleeds over into a genuine appreciation for one another that they don't really have with any of their other colleagues (save for maybe Trewlove & Bright, another fantastic platonic OTP in my book). I also can see them being friends w bennies but I def don't ship them romantically.
My unpopular opinion about this character?
Not sure if I have one tbh. I haven't been here long but I generally think the wider fandom has it right about most things. Maybe not including Jakes as some brand of OTP? I feel bad because I love Peter, I just don't see him and Morse being particular friends any more than Morse and Jim are tbh.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
Um, happiness. Just, all the happiness. I wish he could communicate better. I wish he'd had a better childhood. I wish his house hadn't been burgled and that he could still listen to Rosalind Calloway without taking emotional damage. I wish he hadn't been beaten down and that he could feel secure and safe, and have a fulfilled life outside of work. Great tragedies always keep the happy ending in sight, and Endeavour does that incredibly, painfully, well.
If I had to choose something specific to have happened in the show, I guess I would have liked to see more of Joyce. I'm fascinated by their relationship and I really loved every cameo from Morse's past that we saw, plus episodes like Cartouche with cousin Carol. Tbf I have heard that Joyce shows up more in Inspector Morse, so... 👀
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reorientation · 5 months ago
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Hello, it's grindr Alice again. It felt so embarrassing, having to say repeatedly that I've got a fresh load in a cunt, a female fertile cunt that's right there between my legs. After having to say I'm a female right there at the counter (yes, there were other people in there listening to us) they took me to a consultation room and asked again if it's for me, and if I know that this pill is for women... I had to confirm that yes, I know, I have all the parts and really really need it... I had to tell them that I was a cumdump just a few hours earlier because they asked how long ago I had sex. I had to write down 'female' on the form they gave me.
Also ironically the guy didn't even misgender me on purpose or anything, because I wasn't brave enough to say that I'm into that on grindr, I guess he just decided that calling me 'a female' is so obvious and natural becasue that's what I am regardless of my 'identity'...
My identity might indeed be just a needy little cunt. She's so desperate and leaking 24/7 - everyone said I'll get less wet on T, but it never happened, I have a constant flooding in my boxers, sometimes I'm even waking up with them completely soaked.
The guy I said I might get fucked by unfortunately bailed. He said he could take me raw in a park nearby, and I made my way there, and waited in the dark, and he never came. I edged for like 4 hours before that and I was so disappointed. I wish there was an app better than grindr, one where I could just indicate my location and the fact that my pussy is available for breeding and people could freely take advantage of that. I need to get railed properly, hard and rough and deep, without all the small talks and wasting time...
Grindr Alice here again: a guy messaged me on grindr while I edged browsing through tumblr. Got me wet. He said he could come and fuck me, that he's half an hour from me but he's willing to drive to fuck my pussy in a park. I said yes... And he actually drove here. We went to a park. He told me to lie down on my back. He fingerbanged me SO HARD and slapped my clit and teased it for what seemed like ages, I was so sensitive and I was doing my best not to moan too loud becasue I was so scared someone would come and see me, lying like that on the grass, spreading my legs for a stranger...
Like, he kept his trousers on but took mine so I was literally just in a t-shirt and my shoes, my cunt leaking on the grass and all over his fingers.
At some point he called me 'a good girl'... Then he corrected himself and said 'good boy' but I heard that 'good girl' and gods it made me gush even harder, it's so hot - he drove to fuck my pussy like a woman's pussy. To finger me, to touch my clit - he commented that it's big but he still called it my clit...
And he came in me. I spread my legs and let a stranger cum inside my cunt in the park. And then walked 10 minutes back home while his cum was dripping into my boxers.
I didn't cum, I felt so good and close, but I can't cum if I'm not the one touching myself I guess... but I loved it. I love it when I don't even cum, just like a toy. Well my grindr name is 'Fleshlight' so that's saying something I guess.
Now I'm touching myself, edging, to the memories of this fuck. Gods. I feel like such a slut. He called me that, and more, while he was fucking me. And he said it's the best pussy he fucked in the past 10 years right after he filled me full of his baby-making seed.
Somehow I'm still scared my implant is gonna fail me... but I can't stop myself from doing this again and again...
(Previously)
It's funny, Alice. You said at the very beginning of your first ask that after five years on T and top surgery, you "pass really well"... but none of that really seems to matter once you've offered a man your cunt, does it? To them, you're "female" or "a good girl" with an oversized clit. It's not indulging your kink, because you haven't admitted that to them - it's just the obvious way that they see you. It's natural. It's a fact.
And once you let that second man come inside of you, it became an urgent fact, didn't it? You had to go and tell all those people that you were a fertile female with a fresh load of cum in your womb. You had to do all that just to escape the consequences of being a needy, fertile little bitch.
And you may have quelled that fertility for now... but there's no escaping the rest of that new identity. God, how long has it even been since you saw a cock in real life for the first time - a few weeks? And you're getting fucked bare by a stranger in a public park, like a bitch in heat. You've barely found out what men's cocks feel like, but you know now that you were made to serve them.
You're a good little whore already, Alice. But I'm looking forward to the day that you realize that getting used bare while using an implant isn't enough for you. I'm looking forward to the day that you lift your ass in the air for a real man to fuck a baby into you.
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