#it's just. yeah. not how I would have chosen to start the new year. I'm gonna have to break a resolution immediately I think lol

[forpsheturnpesbian]

Can you do somethin where Paige is having a hard time adjusting to Dallas and mentally just isn’t doing great so azzi comes and surprises her and they work through her thoughts and headspace and just some fluff

Home is you

Word count: 667

Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

a/n: hope this is to ur liking, tried to do this ask justice. One of my first times writing please point out any errors and i’ll try my best to correct them eng isnt my first language. (Didn’t proofread it bare with me guys)

Dallas was..great

Nothing was wrong. She had chosen to be there. She had sworn to give this franchise the best player they could ever hope for, because they had chosen her

Out of all the players invited with the intent of contributing to greatness, she was their pick, their prospect, their player.

Paige was a franchise player and she was chosen to be exactly that

And as much as that is rewarding it is equally terrifying in its own unique way.

Everything was brand new, a new team, new coaching staff, new place, hell a whole new goddamn city. And P took it like a champ—Cheering on teammates, semi-unpacking, establishing her goals for the season, getting used to what Dallas has to offer, and training to get better everyday like she says everyday.

But the rook can only take so much. Till the tension has sinked completely into her bones, till she can barely breathe. Finally a breath of fresh air

Incoming call: Az💗

“Baby?” Paige asked her, breathing for the first time all day sinking into her overly expensive couch still in her sweaty gym clothes.

“Yeah im here” voice soft and tinged with concern

“This might be the wildest thing i'mma ever say” with a huff

“Uh..huh” Azzi raises a brow but follows anyways

“I think I- miss storrs?” She said rubbing her forehead

“Really? That's what you built up to?” She says trying to conceal her amusement but her tone was not convincing anyone.

“But seriously what makes you say that?” She asks in a tone so sweet and warming it puts honey to shame

“I just- I don’t belong here” voice cracking for just a second, barely noticeable over the line

“Paige” her voice softening even further

“Azzi” she says teasingly trying to ease away whatever worry she knows azzi’s feeling

“You fit anywhere and everywhere you go, and you know that”

“Do I? This is news to me tell me more” she snorts but she knows what azzi’s saying is real “yeah I know”

They talk about nothing in particular for god knows how long, during god knows when.

How they even find the time for it is truly a challenge itself.

But they’ll always find it, it doesn't matter if it’s 5 hours or 5 minutes.

…

A few days after that call she starts feeling all the isolation she didn’t know she felt in the first place rush back to her when she started unpacking the rest of her things.

It all hits her full force when she opens her polaroid box.

A shoe box she filled with pictures of everyone she could possibly need—her siblings, her dad, the team, coach, and the person who filled most of the box—her love

And that broke whatever show she tried so hard to put on.

That is until home finally found her, when she couldn’t find it.

When she sees the brown eyes she fell into when she was 14 and never left.

And before she knows it she latches all 6 feet of herself onto azzi with no space for air in between. She just stands there for a moment, head buried in her neck, wrapping her arms around azzi like if she held on tight enough her girl would never slip away.

“Do me a favour never leave again” Paige asks wholeheartedly, head still buried into all things azzi.

Earning a small laugh from her, and Paige thinks it’s the best thing she's heard since she’d gotten here.

“I’ll try my best for the 2 days I'm here?” She says slightly amused

“Shhh Im in denial let me have this” and it earns a real laugh from the brunette, the kind that makes you dedicate your life to hearing over and over again.

And as for Paige she’s heard 9 years worth of it and many more to come, whether it's right here or 1000 miles apart she’ll always find a way to hear it.

[lamortwrites]

Hormones are so fucking expensive man I hate it here

[inlovewithfionaapple]

what if i say it out loud?

warnings: angst... sorry

wc: 608

part one

the roof seemed colder without y/n.

leah stayed up there until the sky turned from black to bruised purple, the stars hidden behind soft clouds. she hadn't moved much—just stared straight ahead as if if she sat still long enough, the night would rewind and y/n would still be sitting with her, knees touching, coke can sweating between her hands.

but the rooftop was empty. and leah felt more alone than ever.

she inched her way down, her body aching, but nothing in comparison to how her chest ached. her mobile vibrated within her pocket for the fourth time in one day—her mum, she bet. training was an hour. she didn't have it inside her to attend, but she would. she always did.

she pushed open the door into her house and found her mum in the kitchen, already halfway through a cup of tea.

“everything alright?” her mum asked, looking up.

leah hesitated. “yeah. just didn’t sleep much.”

her mum gave her a glance but let it go. leah was grateful for that. because how could she possibly explain to her that she'd spent the night reliving every moment she'd spent with y/n—jelly sweets and scraped knees and moonlit kisses and whispered i love yous—and trying to work out when exactly she'd started choosing fear over her?

she showered in silence, barely tasted her breakfast, and walked toward the training ground like a robot. arsenal's headquarters buzzed with the usual rhythm—teammates laughing, coaches shouting out times, boots on concrete. it was typically her sanctuary. it felt like a jail today.

she was sharp in drills. too sharp. frustration made her fast, and guilt made her reckless. when she clipped one of her teammates during a passing drill, jonas called her over.

“you alright, leah?”

“fine,” she muttered, wiping sweat from her brow.

“you’re not playing like it.”

she didn’t respond. just looked past him to the empty sidelines, where y/n would’ve been standing if things were different.

that night, she was in bed, phone clutched in her hand, reading over their previous messages.

y/n: still can't get over that you fought year 9 that girl for saying i was "lanky y/n." hero moves, tbh.

leah: she had it coming. you're not lanky. you're perfect.

y/n: you're biased.

leah: of course. i'm in love with you.

she read it three times. her fingers rested on the screen, unsure of what she was even looking for. a means to make it right? a means of apology that would mean something?

she opened a new message, wrote, deleted, rewrote:

leah: i miss you. i'm sorry.

no response.

she threw the phone on the duvet and sat up, rubbing her face. she had built a fortress of fear, and now she was the only one left inside it.

she remembered y/n's voice breaking—i want to be your choice.

the truth was, she had chosen y/n. a thousand times, in every frozen instant. in stolen kisses, in held hands in the shadows of doorways, in the manner in which her heart would catch fire when y/n entered a room. but never had she chosen her where it mattered. where the world would witness.

for she was frightened.

of headlines. of backlash. of what everybody would say once they'd found out england's golden girl had a crush on a girl.

but now, with the wreckage of what they'd had behind her, leah finally let the question come to the forefront:

what if being in love with y/n out loud was as bad as she was scared it could be?

she didn't know yet. but for the first time, she wanted to find out.

[imjustdreamingig]

Jesus, what's a girl to do?

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Robin meddles, Steve is clueless, and you're freaking out. So a regular day.

A/N: i genuinely have no idea where this came from, i legit posted the first part like 2 years ago. but I guess I want to start actually writing more? idk! we shall see. anyways, this fic stems from my (occasional) exhaustion to shy!reader and i'm basing this more on how horrifically i acted around the guys i would like even tho i consider myself an extrovert. enjoy whatever this is??? and lmk if u want a part 3! also this is not proof read so bear w me

warnings: sfw, swearing, uhhh i think that's it???

You were screwed. Absolutely, terribly, fucking screwed.

You were also very angry at your mother, giving her a glare every time she glanced your way at the dinner table. She merely gave you a wink in return, not understanding the true implications of her actions.

"So, Steve," your mom began as she cut a bit of the chicken on her plate, "you play basketball, right? Is that something you want to keep doing in university?" This time, you openly stared at your mom, trying to telepathically convey that you would literally kill her if she kept talking. You haven't made up your mind if you're joking or not.

Steve cleared his throat, "Yeah, I do, I'd say I'm pretty good at it, too. Wherever I end up going, I'll probably join their team for fun." He turned to you after taking a bite of his meal, smirking. "You like basketball too, right?"

You choked on your water, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. You looked at Steve properly for practically the first time that night, but your voice never wavered. "No, not really, why?"

He turned back to his food, amusement gracing his voice. "Well, I see you and Robin sitting together at every game, even the away ones, so I just assumed." If your face could sport a visible blush, you knew it would be a bright red, hot, mess.

"Well, I- I get dragged by Robin because she doesn't like sitting alone or going to random schools by herself like, half an hour away. Do you even watch the news? Girls by themselves are basically the perfect bait for random kidnappings and stuff, especially girls in high school, like I mean the statistics for-"

"Y/N" You're rambling is halted by your mother's voice. Steve is looking at you in bemusement. You are contemplating death. The situation is not looking good.

"Could you grab me some water from the kitchen, with ice," your mother said with a strained smile, holding out her glass. You grab it and push your chair out. "Sure, yeah," you replied. As you made your way to the kitchen, your mind replays the last hour of the events that have transpired, wondering what you could've possibly done in your past life to deserve this.

How could your own mother, the woman who birthed you, ask the hottest guy in your grade if he wanted to stay for dinner and not consult you first, all whilst knowing you had the most ridiculous crush on the guy.

Betrayed by the ones closest to you. This is probably how Julius Caesar felt.

After overcoming your initial shock, and lets face it, mortification of being paired up with Steve for your English project, you attempted to the best of your abilities to push down your feelings and remain professional in order to actually work on the project and make sure you got an A. Your grades would not suffer over a stupid crush on a stupid boy, that's where you drew the line. Unfortunately, this plan was not working out so well.

It was actually failing, horrifically at that.

It had been about a month since the semester started and the project had been assigned—a complex analysis of a classic book of your choice and how that particular novel has inspired the creation of others and advanced its genre. You had to write a collaborative essay to hand in to your teacher, as well as create an interactive presentation for your classmates explaining your chosen novel.

This was all due at the end of the semester and you'd be given no in class time to work on it since you had an ample amount time to work on it outside of school. It would also replace the need for a final exam, which was great news. When your teacher had explained the project, you were ecstatic, knowing exactly what book you wanted to do: Pride and Prejudice.

Then, you remembered who you had to do the project with, this huge, daunting, complex, project, where you would need to interact with your partner in close proximity for an extended period of time. You felt faint.

Steve, in his defence, had tried to approach you on multiple occasions to try and figure out when you two should meet to try and start the project. But, obviously, whenever you saw so much as a glimpse of him in the hallway, you would make yourself scarce.

The only time he would actually be able to talk to you was in your shared English class. Robin was beginning to go crazy at your increasingly outlandish excuses as to why you couldn't meet up with Steve after school in order to work on your project.

"Oh sorry, my mom needs my help on some stuff tonight."

"I have to take my brother to soccer practice."

"I can't today, I have an eye doctor appointment."

"My dog actually needs to go to the vet, she's sick, sorry."

"My family and I are going on a road trip this weekend, so I'm not free."

"My sister broke her leg uh— skiing, and she needs help writing stuff for school."

"Funny story, Robin has a crazy ex thats trying to get her to meet up with him again, and I have to help her slash their tires and like, do girl stuff, it's personal, so I'm not free, maybe next week though?"

That last excuse is what caused Robin to snap. She knew that Steve knew that you were making shit up, Robin has never even been in a relationship, let alone have an ex. Also, you didn't even have a sister, what gives!

You also had no clue exactly how close the pair had gotten due to working together at the video store and that she'd told Steve she was into girls. Therefore, like the great best friend she was, Robin decided it was time she intervened, for everyones sake really, but mostly yours.

"God," you sighed, "I never thought I would be so into arms, like not the huge, bulging one, you know? All veiny and red, that just scares me, hello, his are just ones that are like slightly defined, but have a very obvious outline of muscle, like I can tell he's strong, and fuck, his biceps, is it bad that I want to like, bite them? Because every time I look and him and he's fixing his hair I just keep getting this urge to—wait where are you going? Robin? Ok, OK! I'll stop, I promise! Come back!"

If Robin had to hear another anecdote about how you wanted to bite his arms, she was going to puke.

Your continuous blabbering about how good Steve's hair looked or how good those jeans looked on him and your inability to have one proper conversation with him or stay in the same room as him for longer than two minutes was making her go insane. She couldn't take it anymore.

So, Robin devised a plan, which one day she was sure you would thank her for—hopefully.

First, she inconspicuously made sure that you had nothing planned for Thursday night, already knowing you were free but wanting to double check that no random stuff had come up.

Then, she called your mom, who absolutely adored Robin. She told her about your situation and how if she did nothing, your infatuation for Steve was literally going to give her an aneurysm. Robin would tell you that she wanted to hang out Thursday night so you would get ready, but instead of her showing up, it would be Steve.

Not surprisingly, your mom agreed to Robin's crazy plan. She thought it was about time you got a boyfriend. You had already talked about Steve so much to her anyways, but any time she would tell you to just try talking to the guy, you vehemently refused.

"Mom, are you insane, I'm not going to do that," you scoffed as if literally just having a conversation with another person was the most insane idea in the world.

"Mija, how else are you supposed to get to know people if you can't speak to them? Besides, you never seem to have a problem talking back to me whenever we have an argument," you mom shrugged as she continued folding the laundry you were helping her with.

"Oh come on," you sighed exasperatedly, "that's not the same thing and you know it."

"I'm just saying, by the looks of it, I don't think I'll be a grandmother."

"Mom, what, hello!?"

Getting Steve to show up at your house was easier than Robin thought. She conveniently told him right before the beginning of their shift on Thursday that you'd told Robin that they should all get together at your house to finally get started on the project. Robin smiled a bit wider than necessary when Steve enthusiastic agreed to go.

When Robin gave Steve your address and told him that she would be over a little later because she left some stuff at her house, that no, she didn't need a ride and that no, she was fine walking, Steve was none the wiser to her actual plan.

As Robin saw Steve pull out of her driveway and making his way to your house, she gave herself a mental pat on the back and started thinking about what movie she should watch after dinner, knowing that the school day tomorrow would be very entertaining.

When Steve rang your doorbell, he was still clueless about the real intentions of Robin's plan, but when you opened the door and he saw your eyes go wide and your mouth drop slightly open, almost as if you weren't expecting to see him, something clicked in his head.

This was going to be fun.

[infiniteimaginings]

Can you do a transmale!reader x Harry Hook/Uma

(if you do multiple characters)

Where reader is chosen with the main four in the first movie (kid of Jack Sparrow) and leaves. He’s part of Uma’s crew. And when he’s chosen in the first movie, he’s pre-T or anything like it.

Then the second movie comes along and reader goes back to the isle with the others to bring back Mal. But he really goes because he wants to see his pirates. Except now he’s been on T for about a year now and had his surgeries. So they don’t recognize him and kidnap him along with Ben.

Anddddd I can’t really think of anything else after that. So…have fun with it! Preferably a happy ending, with lots of fluff and sweetness.

Pre-established Uma/Harry and Reader didn’t come out to them before leaving so as far as Uma/Harry know, Reader is a cis woman. So it’s a surprise when he finally tells him who he really is.

And yeah, that’s all. It’s alright if you don’t write it, I’d understand. Thanks!

Are we supposed to know you? (Uma x TransMale!Reader x Harry Hook)

Summary: You were sent off with the other Vk's to Auradon and when you come back to retrieve Mal, you're changed. You of course go back for Mal, but it's mainly to see the people you left and to tell them you're home. What happens when they don't recognize you and see you as a threat, just like Ben. How will they know you're who you say you are? Pronouns: You/Yours, She/Her (In mentions from Uma and Harry), He/Him Warnings: None Word Count: 2.7k A/N: (Long A/N) Act like Jefferson doesn't exist, I forgot he existed lol. Also, I won't lie, I started this at one o'clock in the morning, and was contemplating how on earth I make this fluff when they don't recognize him and kidnap him. So, unfortunately I didn't get lots of fluff into it, I apologize, I will write a part two to this little thing just for you with only fluff in it. I hope I did the general idea justice, if I didn't, I apologize. Lots of love! <333 (Even if I explained it, you guys would not understand how frustrated I've been with tumblr and my computer. I'm so sorry for how late this is, I've been upset because I had to delay it. It's here now though.)

When Mal came to you , talking about the Isle, you couldn't help but get excited. Your eyes lit up and your smile got wider at the thought of discussing it. Mal noticed your obvious signs of wanting to continue the conversation so she sat down next to you on the bed, looking out the open curtains where the students of Auradon Prep walked. The blonde girl looked over to you, the tips of her hair their typical purple. She sighed and looked back down, messing with her fingers, “Do you ever feel like…” She paused, unable to express how she felt in words. It would’ve been easier for her if you were the first person she went to, but you weren’t.

She went to Evie, Jay, Carlos, but none of them could understand where she was coming from. It was as if everyone was happy with their new lives, but her.

Mal groaned, putting her head into her hands, unable to speak anymore.

You looked at her curiously, placing a hand on her back and rubbing small circles into it. “You wanted to talk about the island…right?” You asked her, tilting your head to see her expression. She removed her hands and nodded, not looking at you. “Yeah.”

“Is it because…you miss it?”

There was a pause, as if the room itself stilled, as if the world stopped. You moved your hand a bit just to make sure it wasn’t some sort of magic freezing everything. 

Mal sat up straight, swallowing hard, “I don’t miss the island itself.” She confessed, making eye contact with you, “I miss who I was.” She explained, taking a deep breath, “Do you get what I mean?”

You looked at her blankly, tilting your head as you looked down at yourself. 

As you did so, she opened her mouth before closing it immediately. She shook her head and laughed, slapping your arm lightly. “You know what I mean!”

“Hey, I didn’t even say anything!” You chuckled out, putting an arm around her, placing your head on hers. “But…” You began, rubbing her arm softly as she leaned into you, “I do get where you’re coming from.”

Mal looked up, her eyes a bit water, “You do?”

You nodded with a smile, “We went from a life of no no structure, doing whatever we want, enjoying life to…” You blew air out of your mouth, sighing heavily, “Rules, etiquette, expectations.” 

The girl next to you stiffened at the last word before she relaxed, leaning more into your shoulder. “I just miss….” She trailed off, shaking her head.

“You miss the freedom.”

“Yeah, I miss the freedom.”

You nodded, thinking for a moment. Soon enough, you removed your arm from her and turned to her, “Then, get it back.”

“What?”

“Show everyone that you still deserve your freedom.” You explained, moving your hands with your words. “We didn’t stop being villain kids just because we started going to Auradon.” You continued watching as her eyes got bigger, “You don’t have to fit into these boxes people are trying to force us into.” You told her, shaking your head, “If they don’t understand that, then they never really understood you.”

Your words seemed to have gotten to Mal as she stood up quickly, a small smile on her face. “I needed that, thank you.” She told you, inhaling softly as she turned to the door to walk out.

You waved and mumbled a small ‘you’re welcome’ once the door was closed since she gave you no time to. 

You didn’t think much of it, you just assumed she would do something to show people that she was still herself even if she wasn’t ‘evil’, or necessarily ‘good’. 

Well, you didn’t think much of it until the next day when the VK group and Ben bursted into your room. You jumped, shoving a paper under your pillow as you clutch your chest. “Last I checked, knocking wasn’t a foreign concept.”

Evie mumbled a small apology as the rest stood with apologetic but serious faces.

You sat up since the air was so tense, tossing your legs over the bed to stand in front of them, “What’s up?”

“Mal left for the Isle.” Carlos blurted out, blinking rapidly as he looked everywhere but you.

Ben looked down with a guilty face, a frown placed on his lips. “We had a fight…” He mumbled, “She said I didn’t understand how…” He paused, clearing his throat, “She said I didn’t understand her.”

Your eyes widened and your mouth fell open at the realization and of the conversation you had with her.

Jay noticed your expression and knitted his brows together, “What?”

A harsh cough left your throat as you looked away from them, “I might’ve had something to do with that.”

The group simultaneously yelled, “What?!”

Your hands raised in an automatic surrender, “Hey, she came to me talking about the Isle,” You began your explanation, “and I miss my

Evie wasn’t pleased to say the least, she crossed her arms with a raised brow. “We are your people.”

You almost laughed, but given the situation you decided not to. “I miss my people.” You specified, your words reminding the group that all of you weren’t exactly the bestest of friends back on the island.

They couldn’t say anything, they knew you were right. Ben didn’t exactly get the message, and that reminded you all of why you were gathered in the first place.

You agreed to go to the Isle to help Mal.

You agreed, but you weren’t really going to help Mal. She lived there her entire life, you knew she would be fine. She knows her way around the island, she practically ran it. You weren’t going to the Island to help Mal, you were going home.

Once all of you reached the island, you thought you would all spread out to find Mal…that wasn’t the case. You all went in a suspiciously large group to find the daughter of Maleficent, something you thought was stupid.

You thought it was stupid, but you all still found where she was hiding out and Ben went to talk to her.

Evie, Jay, and Carlos all talked to each other as you scanned the area, kicking the ground slightly as time passed by. You were barely on the island and now you all were going to leave. It wasn’t how you wanted things to go, nothing was how you wanted to go.

Ben walked out and before anyone could question him, he walked straight past you guys. Everyone looked at each other and you sighed, “I’ll get him.” You grumbled, jogging after him.

“Ben!” You yelled, trying to catch up to him. “Ben, wait up!” You yelled once again, finally reaching him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “What happened? Why are you so upset?”

“She doesn’t want to come with us, all of this was for nothing.” Ben spoke harshly, ripping his beanie off his head and throwing it to the ground.

You sighed, picking the beanie up, dusting it off. “Ben, do me a favor.”

“What!”

“Look around right now.” You told him, gripping the beanie tightly. He looked at you confused but you repeated, “Look around right now.”

Ben regulated his breathing, calming down enough to look around. It was cramped, cluttered, dirty even. It wasn’t properly cared for but the people around seemed to be having a good time nonetheless. 

When he looked back at you, you were looking at the children running around, trying to find a way to pick-pocket Ben. “This is how we grew up Ben…” You mumbled, finally making eye contact with Ben, “You can’t expect Mal, the daughter of the biggest villain who was on this island, to just snap into a princess.” You explained to him, shaking your head.

Ben turned, looking at the area around, “I didn’t realize…” He whispered, eyes flickering to something new the more he looked. 

When the son of Belle and the Beast turned around to face you again, you were nowhere to be found. He turned around quickly, breath picking up the pace as he looked for you, “Where’d you go?” He called out, spinning in a circle until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He let out a sigh of relief, “Come on, that wasn’t fun-” The next thing he knew, everything went black.

Blurry eyes opened, a dry throat let out a cough, and vision restored. Ben looked around for a moment before his gaze fell on you. You were sat with a blank expression, seemingly uninterested in your current situation.

Ben muttered a few incoherent sentences but you cut him off for a moment.

“Getting kidnapped was not on my vacation bucket list.”

Neither of you could even begin a conversation after your words when someone started laughing. The two of you looked up and saw someone had walked in, seemingly amused at your situations. 

“Absolutely hilarious, you’re quite funny.” The male said, looking you over a bit before turning his attention to Ben to do the same thing.

Your brows furrowed as you broke out of whatever ‘trance’ you were in. “Harry?” You asked aloud, adjusting yourself to get a closer look at him.

He pointed his fake hook to you, placing it under his chin. “How do you know my name?”

“How does who know your name?” A voice called from behind the boy, footsteps getting louder as they neared.

Harry tilted his head, “This one.” He spoke, moving his hook from under your chin to step back.

The person that walked in was a girl, she had light blue braids and brown eyes. She stood tall with the hat of a pirate on. 

Your brows furrowed once again, your mind still a little fuzzy from your current situation. “Uma?” You mumbled out, tilting your head.

“You know these people?” Ben suddenly spoke out, trying to get out the rope that tied his hands behind his back.

You looked over at him, a bit unimpressed. “I was raised here, I know everyone here.”

Harry gasped falsely, fake hook over his heart, “You’re a VK?” He asked, not expecting you to answer, since he didn't believe you.

You nodded, forgetting that you look different so they don’t recognize you. “Uh, yeah.” You spoke as if it were obvious, “Born and raised.” You spoke, trying to jog their memory. “Uma, I was in your shop every single da-”

“Oh, and are we supposed to know you because of that?” She asked with a straight face, squatting down to bore her eyes into yours.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes before opening them again, “If you said you didn’t, I’d be questioning our friendship.”

Your captors both laughed, looking at each other, “Friendship?”

Ben decided to give up, still listening to the conversation. So much was running through his mind, he was trying to figure out how to get out of this situation until…he realized something. You knew these people, you guys were friends, they just didn’t recognize you. If Ben reminded them, maybe they would let you guys go.

He thought it over before blurting out, “He’s the child of Jack Sparrow, so yes he is a villain kid.” 

Everyone went silent, their laughs were quiet, and your breathing stopped at Bens sudden exclamation.

You looked over and Ben looked you up and down, and that is when you realized…they don’t know who you are. You had changed so much in the past year, even your voice was different. How did you just expect them to recognize you?

When you looked back at the two pirates, they were staring you down. If looks could kill, you would be six feet under.

Uma squatted down in front of you, glaring harshly, “Don’t you ever disrespect her like that ever again.” She whispered to you seriously, her head whipping to Ben, “Don’t you ever mention her in front of me, again.”

Harry took a few deep breaths, “She would’ve been fine here, and you took her.” He told Ben, poking his chest with his hook. “If you ever try to lie to us, I will gut you like a fish.”

Uma nodded to the statement, “You think we wouldn’t know her family?” She asked you, tilting her head. “Jack Sparrow had one child, a daughter, and she’s never coming back.” She paused, biting the inside of her cheek, “For you, a preppy, to just try to claim her father as your own for some sense of freedom…it’s disgusting.”

The blue haired girl stood slowly, keeping her eyes on you. You finally released the breath you were holding, when she removed herself from your space.

You blinked back a few tears as they turned to walk out the door. Harry gently took Umas hand, whispering some things that you couldn't hear.

They were so good together, they still defended your name even if they thought you weren't there. You didn't expect your chest to hurt so badly when they protected you, even if they believed you were gone for good.

“I would’ve joined your crew even if I lost that race.” You mumbled, looking at their backs with sad eyes.

The two paused before turning to you, “Excuse me?” Uma asked, standing in place.

“The race..” You trailed off, “If you won I would join your crew, if I won you would have to spend a week proving to me how much you wanted me to join and then I’d give you my answer.” You continued, nodding with your own words. You didn't notice how they continued to walk towards you. You continued on, “Unfortunately, I was dragged to Auradon before I could answer you, so I’m doing it now.” You told them, looking up to see both of them analyzing you with parted lips, “I was going to join your crew anyways.”

Umas eyes were focusing on each of your features before she cupped your face, looking at you more intensely.

Harry looked up, making eye contact with you, “You have her eyes…” He muttered, taking off his hook to trace your cheeks.

You swallowed harshly before breathing out a chuckle, your cheeks warming a bit. “I would hope so, I was born with my eyes, guys.”

Uma shook her head, “But she’s… you’re not…”

“A girl…I know.” You whispered out, looking down, or trying to. Harry picked your head back up swiftly.

His eyes were watering slightly, “You’re telling the truth aren’t you?”

You nodded as best as you could with his hands on your cheeks. “I know I don’t look the same…”

He shook his head, “But you’re still you…” 

Uma quickly untied the rope keeping you tied up, trying her best to go quickly. She had ordered her crew to tie your guys up from your arms to your legs, and now she was regretting it. Harry noticed her struggle and began to help untie you, muttering curses when he got to harder knots.

Once you were untied, you rubbed at your wrists, looking down for a moment at the burn. 

You looked up, finally, and were met with Harry and Uma on their knees, staring at you. Their eyes were teary, their chests were rising and falling deeper than ever, neither could speak.

You felt your own eyes begin to water as you rushed forward, wrapping your arms around the both of them.

Harry's arm immediately went around you, he began to cry into your shoulder, holding you tightly. “We thought we’d never see you again.” 

Uma, on the other hand, was hesitant. She slowly wrapped her arm around you. When she did, she felt a rush of familiar comfort, a heat rushing through her chest, something she only felt with Harry and…you. She bit her tongue so as to not cry as she buried her nose into your other shoulder, “We would’ve found a way to you anyways.”

The warmth of the two enveloped you as you finally got to be near them again, as you finally got to feel their comforting arms again. “I have no doubt in my mind that you would’ve found me again.” You whispered to them, trying to hold them tighter.

Harry rambled on about never leaving them again, Uma ran her fingers down your back, both of them weren't letting you go anytime soon.

Uma sniffled a bit, "We missed you so much."

"I missed you guys too, more than you'll ever know."

You were finally with your people again. Now, you didn’t have to stare at a picture of the three of you, wishing they were in your arms.

[nimbusclan]

Moon 4

[Previous] [Start] [Next]

Happy New Year!

///

“We would've had our warrior ceremony by now.”

Fogpaw groans at his sister, pushing past her as they climb higher up the mountain, paws farther from their territory than they've ever been. The terrain and the scents are unfamiliar and the rock is hot under their paws, baking in the greenleaf sun. They can’t go back, so they press on. “Don't start with that. I'm not in the mood for reminiscing right now.”

“No, no, listen to me.” Moonpaw bounds ahead of her brother, cutting him off and leaping atop a large rock. She puffs her chest out, head held high. “It's been twelve moons since our kitting, right? That means we should have our warrior ceremonies.”

Fogpaw eyes her dubiously, but Moonpaw spies the small smile that creeps across his muzzle. She grins, feeling flush with victory.

“What do you think Pitchstar would’ve chosen for our warrior names?”

“Why don't we pick them ourselves?” Moonpaw’s tail wags playfully. Fun and ceremony like this feels sorely needed after their long, lonesome travel. It's been four moons since their camp caved in and the two of them were forced to head out on their own. It's about time they have some fun. “I'll pick a name and you can name me,” Moonpaw says, patting the rock she stands atop with a paw, “and then we swap – I'll give you the name you pick.”

“Okay,” Fogpaw laughs. “I want to do yours first. What's your warrior name going to be?”

“Moonpool.”

“You didn't even have to think about it?”

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Moonpaw says, and it’s true, she has. She’s had a long, boring few moons to mull it over in her mind. “Okay, swap with me, give me my name!”

Laughing, the apprentices trade places, Moonpaw hopping down from the rock so Fogpaw can scramble atop it and look down at his sister.

“I, Fogpaw of NimbusClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon– what're the words?”

Moonpaw rolls her eyes. He should have let her go first. “Look down on this apprentice,” Moonpaw recites easily. She's been looking forward to this since her nursery days. It’s not anything like how she dreamed it would be, but having Fogpaw smiling down at her makes the unorthodox celebration worth it. “They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as a warrior in their turn.”

“Wow, you seriously have that memorized?”

Moonpaw carries on, ignoring him. “Do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?”

“Well, do you?” Fogpaw leans down on the rock, gesturing to Moonpaw.

Emotion swells in Moonpaw’s chest. “I do.”

Fogpaw smiles warmly at her and sits upright. “Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Moonpaw, from this moment on, you will be known as Moonpool.” Fogpaw cocks his head at her, a considering expression on his face. “StarClan honors you for your judgment. We welcome you as a full warrior of NimbusClan.”

Fogpaw leaps down from the rock to rest his muzzle atop Moonpool's head and she licks his shoulder in turn, eyes misty with emotion.

“Thank you,” She whispers when he pulls back.

He grins at her. “Don't get sappy just yet, you have to do mine now!”

“Right, right, okay.” Moonpool hops up onto the rock, the greenleaf sun warming her shoulder blades. “Did you think of a name?”

Fogpaw's eyebrows draw down in thought. “Hmm…”

“How about Fogfreckle?” Moonpool suggests, pointing at him with her tail. “On account of your markings?”

He looks over his shoulder at his dappled pelt. “Okay. Yeah, I like it.” He turns back to smile up at her. “Fogfreckle it is.”

Moonpool grins, then draws in a deep breath and recites the ceremonial words once more.

“By the powers of StarClan, I grant you your warrior name. Fogpaw, from this moment on, you will be known as Fogfreckle.” She watches as Fogfreckle swells with determination. Her eyes shine, and she continues without hesitation. “StarClan honors your courage. We welcome you as a full warrior of NimbusClan.”

She hops down to rest her muzzle atop Fogfreckle's head, and then both cats tip their heads back and bellow across the mountain.

“Moonpool! Fogfreckle! Moonpool! Fogfreckle!”

Filled to the brim with excitement and ceremony, the pair of them chase each other around the mountain, laughing and leaping at each other and wrestling across the warm ground.

“So, are we going to stand vigil?” Fogfreckle asks, panting with exertion from their play fight.

“Stand vigil where? We don't have a camp to guard.”

“Wherever we find to sleep tonight,” Fogfreckle shrugs, a smooth roll of his shoulders under sun-warmed fur. “We can take turns, like with the names. I'll guard you first, and then you can guard me. We're warriors of NimbusClan, and we protect each other.”

Moonpool smiles at him, having to fight back the beginning prickle of emotion behind her eyes. “Pitchstar would be proud of you, you know. Not only as your mentor, but as leader.”

Fogfreckle grins at her. “You basically mentored me the rest of the way.”

“Me?” Moonpool is surprised, her eyes widening. “Hardly! You didn't need any of my help,” she laughs.

“I learned a lot from you. I'm still the better hunter,” he adds without an ounce of modesty, and Moonpool laughs and throws her shoulder against his, “but I don't think I could've done this without you by my side. You’re… I really look to you for guidance. I probably would've been killed by those cats if you hadn't come to rescue me on the border that day. You're more… you think first, which I’ll admit I don’t always do. You'd make a good leader, I think.”

Moonpool is shocked, embarrassed, but nonetheless pleased. “Come on. I got scared by a mouse earlier. That's hardly leadership material.”

Fogfreckle shrugs, but he's smiling. “Leaders can always use a bit of humility. Either way, you'll make a great warrior, Moonpool.” His smile turns teasing. “Especially with me by your side.”

She knocks her head against his affectionately and then races up the mountain, calling after him to chase her.

[Previous] [Start] [Next]

[pe4cht3a]

happy new years!! could we have a one shot about Killua who emotionally hurts the reader because he doesn't pay much attention to the reader anymore (because for example he is too busy with his job as a Hunter) and who comforts him after realizing it :D (i really like your works💕)

ᯓ Come back to me ⋆˙

── .✦ a/n: i miss killua SMM pls lets revive the killua tags on tumblr 😋 and tysm ^^

you bit your lip anxiously as you were going back and forth. deleting and re-typing messages, fingers hovering above your mobile phones keyboard as your mind ran wild with every possibility you could possibly imagine.

eventually, you settled on just taking a phone call instead of messaging. to be fair, calling definitely took way more courage, so your heartbeat was speeding up like crazy.

you shoved your phone up against your ear, as you placed your other hand on your hips. the rhythm of the ringing tone of your phone kept pacing on, as the person on the other line continuously had not picked up.

“yo, this is kil. sorry i can’t take a call, say what you want into my voicemail though.”

ah, how nice. the familiar recorded audio of killua’s voicemail had spoken for him, once again. you held your phone against your ear for a good minute, even once the voicemail audio had finished playing.

returning your phone back into your pocket, you stared up at the clear sky, longing for any sort of response. other than hopeful wishing, you only had one thought on your mind.

where even is he?

4 years had gone by in a flash, since you three had chosen separate paths.

gon had returned back home to whale island and aunt mito, you decided to go to yorknew city to have a fresh start, and killua chose to travel the world as a hunter, as well as scouting for a hiding place for his sister.

the three of you were once 14 year olds who needed to restart all over. except, something didn’t restart, and that was you and killua’s relationship.

every single time, when the messages sent to killua were consistently left on delivered, or when you’d hear his voicemail audio again, you would always recall one memory.

“so.. you’re gonna go travel with alluka?” you questioned as you turned around to face the young albino. you fidgeted with your hands in a fit of anxiousness, as you looked up at him.

“yeah. to be exact, i'm heading out to go find a safe spot for alluka. illumi and the others wanna get their hands on her.” hands shoved in his pockets as usual, he returned back a some what.. sad look? was it because of regret and his feeling of knowingly being unable to continue a consistent relationship with you?

“ah… i see. thats.. where are you going after?” you held a glimpse of hope in your heart. praying killua will tell you that he’ll turn around and reunite with you, once he’s settled alluka down.

“i’m gonna go travel around the world.” the silverette smiled gently, although the smile was tainted with slight uneasiness. “you’re gonna go.. travelling?” your eyes shot wide. shocked that your fantasy was being dragged to ruins, right in front of you.

“i.. i know, you want me to come back to you. don’t you?” he said as he stepped closer to you. “mhm.” you were forcing yourself to sound undisturbed so hard, plastering on a fake smile. “i’m sorry, y/n. theres just so much for me to experience out there.” he took one more close step towards you as he placed his hand onto the top of your head, planting a soft kiss onto your forehead.

“lets not keep alluka and gon waiting back there.” you walked off away from his embrace, feeling unsatisfied and bitter. leaving killua’s arm hanging in the air and heart hurting.

that was all too long ago. yet, you remember everything as clear as day.

what even were you guys? were you guys dating? it surely was something, or else he wouldn’t have given you that kiss on your forehead, 4 years ago.

“never mind, fuck this.” you sighed under your breath. finally, deciding to snap out of your daily over thinking. you went on with your way, as you continued walking through the busy sidewalks of yorknew.

it was a comforting sunny morning. sure.. your relationship with killua was pretty cold but at least the weather was giving you warmth.

it was meant to be a usual, regular and totally not out of the ordinary morning. so why the fuck is killua suddenly standing in the distance, across the ocean of people.

you had to do a double take, as well as a couple of blinks to knock some sense into yourself. you could feel your heart practically sink into your stomach, as your mouth was hanging agape.

you were about to do a 180 degrees and run off, but just when you were about to turn away, killua’s head turned at your direction.

you were frozen in place, you could have ran but you felt as if some unknown force held you down in place.

“shit” you repeatedly muttered under your breath agitatedly. killua’s eyes soon fell onto you. sapphire eyes had matured, looking even more and more like his father’s.. except when his gaze laid upon you, those blue eyes looked just like how they were when he was 14 and infatuated with you.

killua began pushing himself against the big crowd, aiming to get closer towards where you were standing. unfortunately, he did end up reaching you.

“hey.”

“uh— killua… hi.”

you stared at the busy street in front of you, desperately not wanting to look at killua, who was now sitting beside you.

you two had decided on settling down at a bench on the sidewalk, in the middle of the lively city. though, you certainly did not wanna be alive right now.

“you can’t ignore me forever, y/n.” the albino turned to you, desperately trying to get any sort of acknowledgment out of you.

the only acknowledgment you gave back was you folding your arms in response to his desperation.

“you know what, killua? im leaving.” you stood up frustratingly, not looking at killua even once. you held onto your shoulder bag angrily, as you began heading off.

“you’re not leaving until you tell me whats wrong with us!” killua grabs onto your hand and interrupts your departure.

you take a harsh turn, and glare at killua fiercely. “fine, you wanna know whats wrong?” you question with a tone of bitterness. you were about to let out everything you had ever held in.

“i don’t know how you can’t tell whats wrong with us! we go our separate ways and you barely contact me even though we aren’t technically single! you knew how bad i wanted you to come see me once you dropped alluka off somewhere good.. so why did you barely call or return my messages? fuck, you never even tried to come find me! its like as if i was never anything to you! do you not remember how much we meant to each other when we were always going on adventures with gon? and yet you have the nerve to ask me whats wrong with us.”

everything felt slower and quite, despite all the noise from the city and cars. you didn’t dare to look at him, you just ran away.

away from everything. away from killua, and all the nonsense. you just had go go back home and calm down.

once you returned back to your apartment, you slammed your bedroom door and collapsed into bed. you basically passed out into sleep, immediately.

the next morning arrived way too soon.

your hair was messed up, lip gloss smudged off onto your bedsheets and mascara stained on the bottom of your eyes. you felt so dusty and heart heavy.

you got up and pulled out your phone from your bag. you had around 20 missed calls and 50 messages from killua, that awoke something inside of you again.

a fit of anger and even resent washed over you. you held your phone up against your ear, as you returned a call back to the albino you were about to scream at. although, you were too tired to actually scream.

“hello? OH SHIT— Y/N ARE YOU OKAY? WHERE DID YOU GO? WHERE ARE YOU?”

“shut the fuck up kil.”

“at least you still call me that.”

“leave me alone, don’t come looking for me.”

“i don’t care, y/n. after you ran off, i realised how terrible i’d been for so many years towards you. i took time to think to myself about everything… everything about us.”

“wow. so suddenly you wanna be my boyfriend after four years.”

“y/n—

you hung up on killua before he could even continue speaking. you threw your phone onto your bed as you decided to head out for breakfast. leaving your phone behind, so you could escape killua probably spamming you again.

as the cafe door opened, the bell above the door rang happily. you stepped into the cafe you usually visited for breakfast, trying to hopefully calm yourself down with a nice peaceful breakfast. no way would killua ever find you here. that bastard barely tried to contact you, so how would he even know this is where you regularly visited?

as you stepped into the cafe doorway, you opened your eyes with a newfound sense of peace… only to have it be immediately thrown out the window.

you opened your eyes to see killua leaning against the cafe barista counter.

you felt like running away all over again.

“y/n, can you please at least listen to me?”

“how the fuck do you know i come here?”

“i know its been a few years but, no way are you that stupid to forget that my brother is milluki zoldyck.”

“why am i even surprised at this point?”

the awkwardness and unease in the air between you two was definitely apparent. the whole cafe could practically feel it, even the barista’s were moving slower than usual just to be quiet, scared that if they made any sudden sounds would cause you or killua to kill them.

your usual breakfast order of earl grey tea and blueberry muffin sat in front of you on the wooden table. across that, was an opposing chocolate muffin and a tall glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.

unfortunately, this brought back some nostalgic memories for you. killua still had his insane sweet-tooth, some things never change..

“i thought about what you said yesterday, y/n.” the silverette muttered as he munched on his chocolate muffin. “good.” you sharply shot back, legs and arms crossed firmly.

“y/n, i know i’ve hurt you. i shouldn’t have put all my focus onto being a hunter and travelling.” killua placed his unfinished muffin onto the table as he gazed up at you.

you were still just as beautiful as you had been as when you three separated, years ago. killua still fondly remembers how your skin looked as it was kissed by moonlight, during the times when you, him and gon would be hiding in the lush forests while planning to take down the chimera ants.

“yeah right.” you still looked off to the side as you sunk into your seat. voice filled with a long aged resentment and hostility.

“you do realise you also hurt me, right? so calm the fuck down.” killua hissed back, patience coming to a breaking point. his sapphire eyes grew narrow and sharp.

“and how the hell did i do that?” you angrily snapped as you finally looked at him directly.

“maybe because you left me hanging there after we finally confessed to each other? being a hunter is important to me, but so were you. you were the only one there for me when gon was caught up with kite’s death…” killua’s voice trailed off as he remembered all the simpler times between you and him and when you were the only pillar of support he had during the mission against the chimera ants.

“please, y/n. let me make it up to you.”

“fine.”

you and killua… at last, decided to try to smooth over the bumps in your relationship.

you stood at the central park of yorknew city, in the middle of mass amounts of greenery and the moist air. you stared off into the distance, as killua had gone off to go get something, apparently.

“hey.” killua abruptly said from behind. you jumped around in a fit of surprise, “WOAH! damn kil, i forgot you walked completely silent.” you sighed in relief as you fixed your hair in a fit of embarrassment.

you were now face to face with the handsome silverette.

“oh?” you let out curiously as you spotted two things in killua’s hands. in killua’s pale hands, were two ice cream cones. one was chocolate, the other held lemon.

“ah… i see. you still remember that lemon is my favourite?” you mutter softly, pleasantly surprised by killua’s kind gesture. “of course i do, idiot.” the albino offered the ice cream cone towards you, as he felt his face burning up nervously.

you two decided to sit down on the grass against a tall willow tree, that overlooked a small pond in the park.

as you two were sat beside each other, the willow tree provided great shade from the sun. as you ate away at your lemon flavoured ice cream, your heart felt odd.

you had felt annoyed at killua for so long, but suddenly when he’s finally beside you. you felt in love once more and like a young teenager all over again.

“i’ve uh.. missed you kil.” you couldn’t believe you finally had a chance to utter those words out to him.

“i can tell.” killua sneakily smirked as he continued munching on his chocolate ice cream. the albino continued focusing on his ice cream, but he could see you glaring at him jaw dropped, from his peripheral vision.

once you two had finished the icy delights, you both looked off into the distance of the pond, in silence. except, this time was a comfortable silence.

“i’m really sorry, y/n. i turned to being a hunter, i didn’t know how to face you. i didn’t want to face the possibility of you rejecting me.” killua gently whispered as he started playing with locks of your hair.

you were now leaning onto him with your head on killua’s shoulders, up against the bark of the willow tree.

“you’re so stupid sometimes… kil. i wouldn't have ever rejected you.” you smiled sweetly as you nestled your head into the crook of killua’s neck.

“i suppose what happened to gon overwhelmed me too much.” killua sighed unhappily. “hmm.. yeah i know.” you gently muttered back.

killua soon wrapped his arms around you as he placed his head onto yours. “i just wish i talked to you sooner…” the albino now sounded sleepy.

“mhm.. me too.” you responded with a tone of sadness, but also hope for a better future for the two of you.

“this time, i’ll stay with you y/n.”

“promise me that you’ll bring me with you, if you ever go back to being a hunter.”

“i promise. i’ll always come back to you no matter what.”

“im glad you did this time.”

[mochinek0]

Daminette December: 27-Press Start

Part 1-Ghosted

"So, why are we in a video group chat?" whined Kim.

"Yeah, I have work in the morning." growled Alya.

"Adrien sent me a video and said we should all watch it." Nino answered.

Many groaned.

"Can't we do this another time?" asked Alix

"How long is the video?" questioned Max.

"Uh, ten minutes?" The DJ replied.

"Okay." Rose spoke, "That's not sooo bad."

"So, its not a video-video." declared Nathaniel.

"What's it about?" Mylene asked.

"I don’t know." Nino spoke, "He just said we all had to watch it."

"Well, press start." Kim declared.

"Yeah, I wanna go back to bed." Alya sighed.

Everyone watched as Adrien popped up on the screen, like he was filming off of his phone.

"Shit!" He murmured, "Wrong side."

The group laughed. Suddenly, a runway appeared.

"A fashion show?" questioned Juleka.

"Why would he-" began Ivan.

"This year's winner is Marinette Wayne." The announcer cried.

"Wait! What?" Alya shouted.

"Marinette? As in our Mari?" Rose gasped.

"No. Couldn't be. They said Wayne." Nathaniel corrected.

To their shock, the Marinette they knew walked out with long hair, in a tight dress and heels.

"Thank you, all, so much." Marinette smiled, "I'm honored to be chosen to stand before you today. Thank you to my husband for dealing with my ridiculous schedule and for forcing me to go to sleep. Thank you to our children, who kept my days bright when I felt at my lowest and felt like nothing was good enough. My parents for always supporting me and the Wayne family for sneaking me coffee, when Damian forbid it."

That got some laughs. The camera shifted to some guy who looked really pissed off.

"No, but in all seriousness." And the camera was back on Mari, "Thank you Bruce, Tim. Jason, and Richard for welcoming me into your family with open arms and for the spur of the moment design adventures. My collection isn't complete without all of you. My commissions will be back up in a month and some slots have already been filled."

They watched as the grumpy man took the stage.

"The world doesn't deserve the beauty you show it, Mon Ange." He spoke, "If I wasn't already married to you, I'd propose all over again."

They cooed in time with the audience. Mari smiled at her husband and handed the mic back, before he led her back stage.

"Holy shit! Mari got married and has kids!" Adrien shout-whispered, "Imma go see if I can catch her and say 'Hi'."

The group watched as Adrien tried to squeeze through the crowd and tripped.

"Fuck; I'm alright." He spoke to himself.

"Mr. Agreste, I wasn't aware you had backstage passes." Spoke a security guard.

"Right here!" He shouted, practically shoving his badge in the guard's face.

The guard backed up and verified the pass. They nodded and allowed him in.

"Hey, have you seen Marinette Wayne, the contest winner?" Adrien asked a model.

"Get that camera out of here, you jerk!" They shrieked.

"I'm not filming you!" Adrien replied. "I just wanna see Mari!"

"No, i haven't seen her." The model shot back.

"Shit." He mumbled.

"Hey, he's looking for the new girl!" The model shouted.

"Hubby took her through the back!" Someone called out, "They had plans!"

"So, she won't even be at the after party?" The former model whined.

"Probably not. I heard her panicking before the show started." The new model replied. "Something about her uncle or something. I don't know; I didn't really pay attention. Could have been a ploy."

"Lita had to call her husband over to calm her down. He promised to take her to the airport after the show." Another model spoke, as they walked by.

Adrien nodded and walked out, "Damn, I wish I had congratulated her."

The video cut suddenly.

"Holy shit!"

"Oh my god!"

"That was Marinette!"

"Did you see how long her hair was?"

"She got married!"

"He seems like a grump."

"Who cares; she has kids!"

"What about the death threats?"

"She looks so happy."

"He looks like he could protect her."

Alya stared at the screen in silence as everyone continued to be amazed at Marinette's life.

'After everything we did, none of it mattered. Mari never got with Adrien. Lila ended up getting bullied by someone else and rejected by Adrien, in the end. She never forgave him for that. Lika felt so humiliated that she left the school and they lost contact after a few months. The only reason she even talked to him now, was because of Nino. Now, Marinette just...vanishes and gets a perfect life? She's married with kids! That guy looks nothing like Adrien!'

Alya blinked and realized the screen had gone dark. She turned her head and saw Nino staring at her, before wiping years away.

"It....It doesn't make sense!" She cried out, "I thought she was in witness protection or something, after her parents told us about the death threats! She just stopped talking to us! She still has her same name, Nino! She's married! She has kids! She's a fashion designer! How did everything work out for her and not for us?" Alya shouted.

Nino sighed and unlocked Alya's wheelchair. Alya growled and made her way back to the bedroom. She dragged herself back onto her bed and pouted.

"You have therapy tomorrow, remember? Maybe you can bring this up there." Nino answered, softly.

"That wont change the fact that she got everything she never deserved!" Alya cried, "She was a bully and controlling! She stalked your best friend! She-"

"Was threatened and scared." Nino spoke, " She was fifteen when she left Paris. It's been ten years, Alya, but you keep blaming her for everything. You even blamed her for when you ran into traffic and lost your leg."

"I keep telling you; she did it all the time and was fine!" Alya screeched, " I should have-"

"Enough, Alya!" Nino shouted, then sighed, "If I had known what was on the video, I wouldn't have shown you. I'm sorry and I'm going to bed. Max and I have work in the morning."

"Nino." Alya whispered, as he reached the door, "Do you think that if she had watched my sisters that day, we would have worked out?"

"No." He answered, "You are in our guest room because it is close to your therapist's office. I know you're trying, but try harder. The girl I remember didn't give up and she got lost somewhere years ago. If I could meet that girl again, that would be nice."

Alya stared at the door as it shut.

'I don't know how to prove it, but she ruined everything. My life was amazing until she left. It was like she sucked all the good luck out of me. Maybe if I can finish therapy, Nino will see I'm right and he'll love me like he use to.'

@maribat-calendar-events

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[seung-kwans]

— 𝓯lash, flash, 감각적인 pose.

⋆𐙚 pairing: mingyu x fem!reader

⋆𐙚 warnings: strangers, nsfw but no smut, only making out, a lil fluffy and cheesy, MDNI

⋆𐙚 wc: 1.6k

⋆𐙚 other: non!idol mingyu, model!mingyu

⋆𐙚 a/n: I'm slowly getting back to writing as I used to write a lot of ffs but stopped a few years ago and It still feels new to me I feel like I forgot how to write so please bare with me 😕🤞

You and Kim Mingyu are both models. Though you don't know him personally yet, or the kind of person he is behind the scenes he’ll end up changing your life; Making you want him more despite never having held a full on conversation with the guy. You’ve seen him a few times before, merely sneaking looks and glances from far away from some of the events you've both participated in but never met him personally to introduce yourself. He’s one of the faces of Dior and frequently models in their designs for various magazines but gender is always separated in modeling, so women rarely work with the men in their company or see them unless for certain photoshoots or ads for the brand and now it’s come to the ‘unless’. You’ve been chosen to model by Dior with Kim Mingyu for the front cover of Dazed Korea promoting the upcoming Paris Fashion Week and you can’t help but feel nervous. What the hell? There’s no way.

You don't get nervous, you never get nervous for a photoshoot. Every photoshoot you do gets the biggest compliments. You’re going to serve as always and the photos are going to come out great. They always do and so much so that the photographer hates having to end a session with you. . So what's with this feeling? Maybe it was because you couldn't get your mind off Mingyu. You’ll never admit this out loud but Mingyu is so attractive. He’s so good looking he can pull off any outfit they give him and You don't know him as a person.. But damn, he’s hot… Your knees almost go weak at the thought of being next to him. Damn you, Kim Mingyu.

—

“You’re here! Great, I’m ready to start so say hi to Mingyu quickly then we’ll get you situated with some purses. This photoshoot will be more minimalistic as we want to put focus on the new Dior drop, so once you're ready get next to Mingyu then we’ll start. I want to start off with a duo photoshoot first with you two, then solo photoshoots next and you’ll be first followed by Mingyu. You got it?” The photographer smiled brightly at you.

You nodded at him before making your way towards Mingyu and he was already staring at you when you looked his way, your eyes locking with his immediately and you could see him swallowing hard, as if trying to stop himself from saying something.

Embarrassed, you looked away sure that your entire face was as red as a strawberry at that point from being caught. He was dressed in all black, from head to toe, (jewelry excluded) and even had a pair of shiny black Dior glasses sitting atop of his head. Yeah, he looked really, really, good.

As you made your way beside him you quickly bowed and said, “Hi, nice to meet you.”

“I’m Mingyu. Nice to finally meet you,” He replies with a small smirk. You just looked at him dumbfounded. Finally? What do you mean? But he never responded and you were cut off by the photographer shouting that he was ready to start.

It was around 40 minutes later and you and Mingyu were going over the last set of photos you took together, the staff showing you each photo that was taken on a big monitor standing behind the photographer, wanting to get your opinions on them. As the staff went through each photo you couldn't help but notice the smile and smirk that Mingyu would let out followed by a feeling of tension that you only hoped the photographer couldn't feel and did your best to ignore. It’s time for solo shoots finally. You felt relieved realizing that, knowing you could be more at ease without having to be nervous of the attractive guy who was merely inches away from you minutes earlier.

After changing in your dressing room and getting the jewelry needed you made your way back to the photographer and smiled, “I’m ready,” He looked up at you with excitement and shock. “Oh my god you look so good, jaw dropping good. This dress feels like it was made for you. You’ll do great, I swear my camera is in love with you,”

You just laughed lightly and thanked him before taking your spot and getting ready to pose for the camera. You were dressed in a long silk red dress that hugged your body perfectly and left your sides exposed, having only the smallest of gold metal along the sides to keep the fabric together. It fits you perfectly and if anything accentuates your curves more. It reminded you of the dress Dior had for Fashion Week in 1997 and you loved the way it fit you so much. You knew this wouldn't be the last time you’d be wearing it.

The silk red dress, topped with a few necklaces and rings and a black Dior purse made you stand out in the crowd of staff and employees but in the best way possible. The type of standing out where people can't help but look at you and notice you as soon as you enter a room. All eyes on you, because that's just how good you look.

“Ready? Let’s start.” You nodded after going over a few ideas in your head and posed for the camera. Many, many, poses and flashes later and you were finally reviewing your last set of photos. Damn, they came out good. Although you were tired and wanted a break you felt satisfied and were happy with how they turned out, thanking the staff next to the monitor and bowing at them before turning around to walk back to your dressing room to change. As you turned around though, you noticed Mingyu standing there looking amusingly in your direction and you couldn't help but smile at him. How long has he been standing there? You didn't know the answer to that but as you passed through the door by him, he smiled and bit his lip and you felt that tension again.

You had barely made it to your dressing room and opened the door before a pair of hands grabbed at your waist and pushed you inside, closing the door behind them. You turned around and looked up to see Mingyu staring at you with the most intense and desirable look on his face, not even wasting a second before he grabs you by the face and kisses you. He didn't even give you a chance to say anything just immediately put his lips to yours hungrily, as if he had been waiting his whole life to do it.

A small gasp managed to escape your mouth from the shock but you just wrapped your arms around his neck, not hesitating to kiss him back. He smiled and bit at your bottom lip, tugging at it slightly so he could slip his tongue inside your mouth and you gladly let him do so as he deepened the kiss, hands now around your thighs as it turned from kissing to just full on making out. Not that you were complaining, though.

Things were going fast and you wanted to let yourself give in but you remembered the photoshoot.. Mingyu had his solo shoot next and he definitely couldn't go back in a mess, plus he needed time to change. “Mingyu, enough.. we have to stop.. You still have your photoshoot.” You let out between breaths. He pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, slightly shaking his head no with heavy breaths. “You don't know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment, since the day I first saw you I haven't been able to get you and that white dress out of my head and I was so lucky to be given this chance, I’m not wasting it.. You look so good, god, you’re so beautiful, I just couldn't help myself and I noticed you eyeing me too so please, let me have this moment with you. I’ll go back after,” And just like that he's pressing his lips against yours yet again, but this time with more force as you grip onto his hair and melt into his touch.

He let out a small groan of satisfaction at the sudden grip, grabbing you by the legs and holding you up as he threw you against the wall of your dressing room and moved his lips from your mouth to your neck as he made his way down, leaving breathy kisses with his lips lingering on you as if he wanted to enjoy every second and every last inch of you that he could.

You were letting out small whines at the touch because damn, you were definitely turned on and damn, you certainly couldn't do anything about it. Mingyu moved his lips from your neck and smirked, seemingly satisfied at the effect he had on you and rested his forehead on yours once more, holding your hand in his. “I should probably go now.. But I’ll see you later, right? What do you say, my house at 7?” You nodded immediately, a small grin forming on your lips.

“Cool.. We can finish what we started. See you soon, pretty girl.” And with that he was gone after winking suggestively at you.

[fernsnailz]

Hi, I saw your Metal Sonic comic dub and I thought it was amazing. I was wondering, but what does Metal's outfit represent? I know Trans culture is prevalent in comics these days, but as a boy I used to think longskirts were neat, like a Samurai's Hakama or the worn, long cloak of a wanderer.

glad you liked it! the intent of that comic (good future) is that metal is transgender and that outfit is an expression of her beginning to display her new identity. though i do like the comparison to a hakama, my design intention was to portray metal casually wearing a pleated long skirt.

overall, the outfit is meant to be a representation of the choices she's allowed to make for herself now and the help she's received since eggman died. most importantly, it's meant to show a new starting point for the character rather than an ending.

i wrote a bit about my intent behind the pieces of that outfit that i put under the readmore here since it's a little long 🛝

i chose the skirt for a number of reasons (shorthand for showing metal is trans without explicitly saying it, practicality of what a robot could actually wear, etc), but tbh it's mostly meant to be reminiscent of neo metal sonic's design. neo metal sonic's look is really interesting to me because it shows that, when previously allowed the ability to choose what he looks like, THIS is what metal sonic goes with:

neo's waist piece isn't really a skirt, but that element of a long, flowing fabric piece always really stuck with me. it's meant to be intimidating and make neo seem even larger than he actually is, but there's also a certain elegance to it i really like. a skirt was a logical neighbor of this design to me, so i ran with it - a flowing skirt shows that metal is a bit more loose and subject to change, but also fills out her silhouette and shows that she's much fuller as a person now. there's a certain presence and comfort to it that neo was simply performing, but metal truly feels now.

the other two pieces of the outfit are also important! the shirt and the sweater metal wears in good future are actually pieces of clothing you can find elsewhere in born to fail.

the sweater you can find within good future, where belle is actively giving it to metal. but the shirt piece is a little harder to spot - it's actually intended to be amy's shirt that she wears in the comic i made about her and metal.

it's a pretty generic button down and i also didn't color it similarly so tbh i would be surprised if anyone has ever picked that one up LMFAO

the element of choice is the most important thematic piece of metal's outfit, but i also wanted to show that the help she's received over the past year is incredibly valuable as well. though good future makes it clear she isn't entirely sure how she feels about living alongside these people yet, a lot of them have still chosen to reach out and help her.

like. this is my thought process here: metal realizes she wants to wear clothes for whatever reason. what's she gonna do? go to a STORE? most of the world still sees metal as eggman's ultimate killing machine and would kick her out the mall with a broom. so for now, she receives hand-me-downs from her sorta-kinda-friends - at least, from the ones that actually wear clothes at all. which is pretty much just belle and amy.

overall though, this outfit is intended to feel just a little off - not wrong, but more like a first draft. it's only been a year since eggman died, and metal is still in the process of even learning how to BE a person so like. she's still figuring the whole gender thing out lol. but it's ok because she's rocking that shit anyway

also i do have another design of metal a few years after the events of this comic! i wanted to explore what she looked like once she really settled into her new self, and drew inspiration from various punk and goth (specifically cybergoth i think? sorry everyone who knows more about fashion than me i'm bad at subcultures) fashions.

but yeah erm. long story short: shes trans and figuring shit out 👍

[xi-xi-chen]

do you think you would ever eventually draw a grown up version of jinx, lux and isha? seeing all the headcanons about them made me start thinking about how lightcannon would handle isha through her teenage/young adult years,,,,, like half of it comes from my desire of wanting to see lightcannon's dynamic as they become a bit more mature and their trauma/hurt is less raw? (if that makes sense? like being able to see them as adults who have grown to be a bit more grounded and secure 🥹) and also wanting to see what isha would look/act like as she grows up bc ... she was robbed of that in canon 🥲🥲🥲

btw i don't mean this as a request or me pressuring u to draw them !! i just wanted to yap about them bc im in my lightcannon + isha sappy feels 🫠

(sidenote: do we have a name for the lightcannon + isha found family relationship?? they literally mean everything to me ☹️💕)

Aw, no problem, I've been wanting to get around to this anyway. I went back and did a rough character study and tried to keep as much of the same features in. However, I tried not to worry too much since this is essentially a transformation from child to semi-adult.

The inspo mostly came from my own hairstyle, I've got curls similar to Isha's at the top, but it strengthens at the ends and back. So with enough length, I sometimes put tiny braids in, so that's where this particular design comes from, of course, with some help of reference from chosen Pinterest images, too. I also wanted to leave Isha's imitation, I think she'd still want to copy Jinx's hairstyles once in a while and implement the same cuts on a smaller scale.

As far as maturity goes, I think they'd communicate pretty efficiently, but of course, to a degree for some needed independence once in a while and all that jazz. However, I imagine they'd also be a tightly knit together family, close enough that they'd want to always carry something around that reminds them of the other. I think for Isha, that's in the form of images and colors, so hair dye and accessories.

I see Jinx growing out her hair eventually, like a wolf cut style, because even I miss my long ass hair from way back when, but Iove the tapers, so a shaved side of the head would follow along. Lux would probably get the cut just shy of the chin and finally use hair dye for the first time. But I can't decide if she'd go as far as to get an undercut as well. I think Jinx would want some kind of trinket for them, so she'd probably go onto wearing piercings, and they'd follow the idea. So, yeah, just little things that represent one another.

These are just a very few rough drafts, I really wanted to draw them, so I'm glad you've shared your thoughts with me, it helped me push through to get something up and running.

(I don't know any new names

for the lightcannon+Isha 😔)

[neptuneiris]

cardigan (02/03)

tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy.

pairing: modern!aemond × best friend reader!

summary: being in love with your best friend since high school becomes a strong and unavoidable feeling. until it starts to become more difficult when you get to college and the two of you, especially him, meet new people.

word count: 8.4k

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As you're looking down at yourself, making sure there's nothing out of place, you just hear the loud sound of Sara inhaling deeply which makes you startle and you watch her quickly in panic.

hello! i just want to say that i can't believe how much you guys loved the first part. the story just exploded hehe. I'm so grateful for that, for your support and your opinions, I didn't think it would happen so soon, thank you very much.

i wanted to give you part two after such a quick acknowledgement and support, truly thank you so much and also let me know what you think of this second part please, i love reading and responding to you. enjoy!

"You like this one?"

"What?"

"No fucking way, Y/N! You look amazing!"

And at that moment you can feel the color come back to your face and you calm down.

"Come here!" she asks you excitedly, "I want to take a closer look."

You stand in front of her and turn on your own axis to get a better look at yourself in the large full-length mirror, instantly liking what you see.

Last year your dress for the Targaryen ball was red. And you don't usually repeat colors. So now you've chosen a deep ocean blue dress.

Which is Aemond's favorite color.

"This is the one, definitely."

"Really?" you put your hair behind your shoulders, watching you carefully, "Is this one better than the last one?"

"In my opinion the style is better."

You've tried on dresses of the same color in different styles before and honestly… you liked this one better than the others.

It's a long dress open at an angle exposing your left leg. It has no neckline, is strapless and shimmers in a metallic shade beautifully.

This is it.

You think definitely more convinced than ever as you look in the mirror after a few more inspections. You'll shine brighter with your hair and makeup done, you know it and you know you'll look beautiful. That's why you can't wait for the day to come.

You can't wait for Aemond to see you.

"And why did you choose this color?"

"Because it's Aemond's favorite color and it will match his sapphire."

"Oh yes," says Sara in a reminiscent tone, "I had forgotten that detail about your best friend."

"His sapphire eye?"

"Yes."

"But if that's precisely why everyone at the university knows him."

"They also know him for his hair and for apparently having come from the very palace of the Greek gods, don't forget," she says, also amused.

You let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, it's true."

After a little silence between the two of them where they inspect the dress, Sara stirs a little and seems to fight against herself to say what she wants to say. Until she grimaces and nerves invade her as she speaks.

"Listen Y/N…" she says cautiously, "It's not that I want to be nosy or anything, in fact I don't like to know people's things about things like…" she bites the inside of her cheek "That seem very delicate" she says finally "And it's that I'm very curious, I—

"You're a gossip, Sara," you remind him in an amused tone, interrupting her.

"Well… yeah, it's true, who am I kidding," she nods in acknowledgment, shrugging her shoulders and you laugh.

"You want to know what happened to Aemond's eye?"

"Yes," she murmurs, almost embarrassed, "But it's just out of curiosity and if it's something very personal then I understand."

You take a long breath and look away from the mirror to observe her.

"Yes, it's very personal," you tell her, "I can only tell you that it was a horrible accident that happened to him as a kid. He still finds it a little difficult to talk about it, even with his mother and sister."

"Yes, of course," Sara nods sympathetically, "In fact something like that I had imagined."

You nod too, sympathetically, thinking about it.

"At first, when I met Aemond in high school and we started our friendship, he didn't want to tell me," you confess, "It's not as if I insisted on the matter, of course not... but he knew I was curious about it. And it wasn't until after he was sure that I wasn't a fake friend, as I was with him, that we both confided a lot of things to each other until he told me about his accident."

"How old was he?" she ask attentively and curiously.

"Barely ten."

Sara raises her eyebrows in surprise with a face of pity.

"Ten?" she repeats in a murmur, "Wow. I can't even imagine. It must have been pretty awful, huh?"

"It was," you assure her.

You know Aemond has only told about what happened to you and a guy who was his best friend in high school, who now that guy got into another college in another state.

And what happened was that Aemond defended his little nephew, Luke, from some boys who were picking on him and wanting to almost beat him up at school.

But the blows went to Aemond who had to defend himself as best he could against four boys even a little bigger than he was at the time.

Then one of the boys did not measure his strength, hit him and pushed him too, and because of the push Aemond fell on top of a net of wires that made up a small garden in the huge backyard of the school.

They didn't even let him get up, so Aemond also hurt some parts of his body.

And out of desperation, before he could try to do anything, another one of the boys hit him in the face and that's when a piece of wire ripped his eye as he turned his head towards the wires from the blow.

When Aemond was telling you everything, you didn't even know what to say.

And the best punishment the bully boys could have received was to have been expelled. But it wasn't enough for Aemond and his family. They had taken his eye and that was 'justice'.

Luckily his whole family supported him and was there for him through the whole difficult process of doctors appointments, therapies, medications and so on.

His uncle Daemon especially made sure he received the best possible treatment with the best doctors and nurses while his older sister, Rhaenyra, searched for solutions to his lost eye along with his mother.

"And why does he have that sapphire? Didn't he think about a prosthesis or something like that?"

"As a kid, all he wanted was to recover and cope with the physical and emotional pain, and also to get used to his only right sight," you explain, "And then he told me he was thinking about it, but it's been a long time. Maybe he has already got used to the sapphire."

"And it doesn't hurt him?" asks Sara curiously, thoughtfully.

"No, he always has his appointments with the ophthalmologist," you let her know, "I guess the sapphire is to maintain an appearance. Kind of like what rich people do."

"Oh, of course," Sara nods with more understanding, "It makes perfect sense vonsidering how exaggeratedly rich he and his family are."

You let out a small laugh, turning to look at yourself in the mirror at the beautiful dress.

"Yes, they are," you murmur, "Are you sure your aunt will let me pay her weekly?" you ask, looking at her again a little worried.

"I already told you yes, Y/N. Stop worrying," she says amused.

"But she already knows?" you ask distrustful.

"Yes, she knows," she assures you for the eighth time, "She just said that by the time you decide to stop paying for it for one reason or another, there is no refund and you have to return the dress. And if you tear it, stain it or something, you pay extra."

"Oh, I'm not worried about that," you make a nonchalant gesture, "I'm definitely going to finish paying for it."

You think about how the dress is so beautiful that it doesn't deserve to be worn for just one occasion. You can wear it to another event, not necessarily just the ball.

And after you've picked out the last dress, you both leave the dressing room, secure everything for payment, and Sara takes you home and you both say goodbye saying you will see each other tomorrow in class.

When you arrive at the apartment, only Vhagar greets you, to which you assume that Aemond must still be in class or with his girlfriend.

So you decide to take Vhagar with you to your room to do some homework and wait for Aemond to arrive to have dinner together.

And by the time you finally hear his arrival at the apartment, you take Vhagar in your arms and leave your room to ask him how his day was and what he wants for dinner tonight to see if it matches what you want.

But the words get stuck in your throat the moment you see him and your eyes meet his, watching him in shock, definitely not expecting this.

And at your reaction of saying nothing and continuing to stare at him in disbelief, he lets out a small laugh as he runs a hand through his neck and hair.

"What do you think?"

And that's when you seem to remember how to talk.

"No way," you mutter, "Are you fucking kidding?"

"As I understand it, your head can't grow, Y/N. At least not at this age," he tells you amused.

"Shit," you say still in disbelief, "It looks fucking amazing, Aemond!" you finally react with a huge smile.

He has cut his hair.

His fucking long hair is now short and he looks so ridiculously good, like it's not an everyday thing, as well as he looks even better than before and even... sexy.

And in an instant you're all over him, running your fingers through now his short, silky, still straight hair with some waves at the ends that now point slightly upwards.

Even his face, his figure, his sapphire, everything about him looks better than before just because of a haircut.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, still surprised and puzzled, with a small smile.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," he says with a smile, "What do you say, do you really like it?"

"I love it," you confess, "Even you, everything about you—

You stop, not wanting to look nervous, not wanting to insinuate your true feelings for him through his new appearance.

That's why you think very well what you will say before you speak, controlling yourself not to say anything too much.

"Well... it looks better," you finally say.

"Thank you, pretty one."

He smiles at you and you melt at the sight of his expression, simply because of the gesture accompanied by his new cut, so you couldn't be more ridiculous, but you can't help it either.

You find it so attractive and so striking the way you watch his dimples form and look, even they so damn good, again, because of his new haircut.

"I hope Alys likes it too."

You bite your lips, not wanting to focus on his comment at the mention of his girlfriend.

"And why did you decide to cut it?" you ask not to talk about her, acting nonchalant but still feeling surprised.

"I thought it would be a good idea to cut it for the ball," he confesses, "It's this weekend and I thought I'd do it now because I knew I wouldn't do it later."

You both laugh, as that is very Aemond Targaryen and you both know it.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," you say with a small smile, "I've got everything ready for the ball too."

"Oh really?" he raises his eyebrows, interested, "Now what color dress did you choose?"

"Nope. No details."

You turn away from him in an instant and head to the fridge to finally make dinner, because you know if he keeps looking at you and talking like that, you'll end up showing him everything.

"Oh come on, Y/N."

"I'm so sorry but you'll have to wait for the day."

"Are you serious?" he asks you.

"Even your new haircut isn't going to convince me."

"Hmm."

He certainly says with a disappointed tone and you let out a laugh.

"Be patient, Aemond. Now..." You look at him, "What do you want for dinner?"

You and Aemond talk about what his mother has told him she has planned this time for the ball with his sister Rhaenyra while you prepare dinner and listen to him at the same time. And when everything is ready, you both watch a movie in the living room.

And the next morning, Aemond Targaryen with his new haircut is all you hear about even among all the girls in your apartment. Even something as simple as a haircut drives them all crazy. Even you.

But that it's already a real topic of conversation is amazing.

And the next few days are really stressful for you, also for Aemond, as you have to push your respective careers forward with homework and projects.

In fact the week is so busy that you barely have time for breakfast in the morning as you have to rush to the university. Aemond also told you that he was very busy with the same thing.

But it's worth it.

You tell yourself even in every break that you actually make use of to continue doing more homework.

And for you there is no better motivation than knowing that by the time the week is over, you will finally be free and the ball will be a great way to finally relax and have fun with your best friend.

And you honestly can't wait.

However, you were not prepared to hear what Aemond says to you the day before the ball when you arrive at the apartment and he is already there, apparently waiting for your arrival.

And you knew it wouldn't be good what he would say to you the moment you see the sadness, worry and sorrow in his eyes as he watches you.

"My family wants to meet Alys."

He tells you and then says nothing for a few more seconds, looking away from you, running a hand through his hair, frustrated, to which you already know what he will probably tell you.

"And I couldn't think of any better occasion than to take her with me to the ball so everyone can meet her."

And her words stab like a dagger into your heart, shattering it into little pieces.

And he speaks to you so softly, so carefully and so sorrowfully at the same time while you want to believe it's a damn joke and he's really not doing this to you.

"I'm so sorry, my pretty one," he looks at you with all the anguish in his eyes for your reaction, worried, "Could you do me this favor, just this once, please?"

Do him the favor?

You repeat in your mind, just watching him without really having any expression in your look, because you don't want to make him see that he has broken you with this news and this suddenly change of plans.

And his next words only make you feel worse for your lack of response, with him wanting to make the situation better, as if it were possible.

"You could still come, you know. I'll be with Alys, but Helaena or Aegon can keep you company and eventually I'll try to be around you as well."

"I'm not taking Alys."

He had said.

"This ball belongs to both of us, it always has. And I'm not going to break the tradition."

He had promised you.

And you say to yourself: he is asking you this as a favor. It's just a ball and it's only fair that his escort should be his girlfriend. Don't bother, you shouldn't bother.

"I know you had everything ready and I know I shouldn't be telling you this a day early."

He continues saying to you with sorrow, and then he goes to you in a desperate action and takes your hands in his.

"But I promise you that I will make it up to you, I will—

Unable to stand it any longer, you take your hands from his, which makes him stop and look at you instantly, a little surprised and worried by your reaction.

And you again... you act unconcerned and like it's no big deal.

Mostly because you no longer want to keep listening to his promises that are worthless in the end, you also don't want to be around him right now and also because you want to end the matter once and for all.

"Okay, I understand."

You tell him with the best look you can put at that moment, really trying to pretend that everything is fine, almost convincing him, almost.

"Don't worry."

And without waiting for anything else, because you really want to get away from him, feeling that if he tells you something else you're really going to burst into tears right then and there, you walk past him and head to your room.

But he doesn't let you go so easily.

"Y/N..." He holds you by the shoulders, looking at you worriedly, "Talk to me, please."

You let out a small laugh, the fakest laugh you've ever let out, trying with all your might to make it okay.

"What do you want me to say? I told you it's okay."

Again you try to pass by him but he again stops you. And you let him.

You let him because you don't want him to see you bad, broken. You let him because if you get upset, if you let him see that he has broken you, you fear he will realize your true feelings.

And you don't want that now that he has a girlfriend and looks happy with her. So happy that she even managed to change his mind about taking her to the ball even though he told you he wouldn't because that ball belonged to the two of you.

And you don't want to ruin that for him if that's what he wants, you also don't want to make a big deal about the change of plans. You want to make him see that you're okay with it.

Again...you don't want to look sad and broken in front of him.

"I know you, Y/N," he says to you in a sad, apologetic soft voice, "I know you're not okay with me wanting to take her now because I told you I wouldn't, that this ball belongs to both of us," he lets out a long breath, "But I—

"I'm perfectly fine with it, Aemond," you interrupt him with the most nonchalant and fake look possible, "I mean... she's your girlfriend and it's only fair that you take her, right?"

And your words don't know why they make her feel worse when that's just what she needed from you: understanding.

But somehow it feels a hell of a lot worse that you're understanding him after he knows he promised you he wouldn't take her and you'd both go together.

"But you—

"Look... actually this is good," you lie, "Now I have a lot of homework to finish and also a big project due on monday. The weekend will help me to get everything done and delivered on time."

That's what you assure him even though this whole week you had worn yourself out getting everything ahead of schedule for next week so you could go to the ball and have fun without any more worries.

"Are you..." He looks at you suspiciously, "Are you sure?"

"Very," you say, putting on a small fake smile, "Now I just want to rest before I do everything."

He watches you for a few seconds with the softest and gentlest expression possible, still a little worried, while you watch him firmly back to show him that it's okay.

Even though it hurts like hell all this is happening.

"Well," he murmurs, looking away from you, nodding slightly, "Would you like me to make some dinner for the two of us? I can...

"No thanks," you cut him off, "I want to sleep, that's all."

And finally, carrying all your dignity with you, you head to your room, pretending that everything is fine and that you are fine.

But as you close the door to your room behind you, that's when all the appearance finally goes away and you allow yourself to really feel the way you feel.

And it makes it worse to see the beautiful dress on your bed, looking so spectacular, so ready to be worn, when you will no longer need it for the main occasion you decided to buy it and wanted to wear it for so badly.

Looking at it with longing and sadness, the first tears fall down your cheeks and you avoid letting out a sob as you bite your lips.

You would have preferred that Aemond told you about taking his girlfriend that day when you went to get the dress and then he came home with his new haircut. It would have been more preferable to telling you the day before the ball.

Either way, though, you know it would have destroyed you, just the same way you feel destroyed now.

That's why the next morning, you don't even leave your room. You don't want to and can't see Aemond knowing that today is the day it was supposed to be the two of you.

So you only leave your room when you make sure Aemond is in his room to grab something from the fridge and get back to your cave as quickly as possible.

Until the time of the ball gets closer and closer and you make sure your desk is full of sheets of your previous projects, pretending to be busy as you had told Aemond you would be.

Even his sister, Helaena, sends you an excited message asking if you will come tonight and with all the pain in your heart, you reply that you will not be able to come as you are too busy with homework and projects.

When Aemond knocks on your bedroom door and calls you from the other side. You quickly go to your desk, pretend to be busy with the sheets, tell him to come in and he does.

"I'm leaving now, pretty one."

"Okay, have fun," you say in the best possible tone, without looking at him.

You really don't want to look at him.

"I will probably come here to sleep, I don't think I'll stay anywhere else, just to let you know," he says in a soft and cautious tone, still a little worried about yesterday.

"Yeah, that's fine."

A few seconds of silence and then you hear him let out a sigh.

"Are you sure you don't want to come? You know Helaena and my brothers will be there. I can wait for you to leave."

You bite the inside of your cheek, annoyed that he's suggesting this again, when you shouldn't be.

You know he means well, but it bothers you, it hurts you. How does he think you'll want to go to the ball after changing your plans?

"I have a lot to do," you answer briefly.

And again you hear another one of his sighs.

"Okay," he murmurs.

But he doesn't leave immediately, you hear how he is still at your door and you feel his penetrating gaze, as if he is asking you for forgiveness, but you don't even look at him.

You can't and you don't want to.

You think that if he tries to talk about it again, you'll tell him how busy you are so he won't do it.

But fortunately you only hear him let out a long breath and finally close the door to your room. And the next thing you hear are his footsteps and then the apartment door opening and closing.

The next few days after what happened between you and Aemond at the ball are again like you didn't want them to be.

But it seems that the ball was an important point that broke between you and Aemond and again he and you don't spend time together anymore. It's only in the mornings when you both see each other for breakfast, but there isn't even a conversation for the time being.

There are no more movie weekends, no more going to a restaurant for breakfast on some weekends, and no more going to the grocery store together.

However, the agreement remains that he takes care of everything financially and you take care of the food, laundry and cleaning.

Still, it's as if you live alone.

Suddenly Aemond stopped coming to the apartment less and less, as well as he has stopped sleeping here constantly anymore.

Sometimes there are not even any more of his clothes to wash, mostly because they are still clean or because he takes them away or has left them somewhere else, with Alys obviously.

All the food is finished by you since he barely eats breakfast or dinner here. And the few times you've gotten to talk, there's been no mention of the ball at all.

And you can tell, as he also shows, that he seems to be very busy with his classes and also with his girlfriend.

He still pay for the electricity, water and everything you need, you know he does, but he's not even here. Now it's like you totally take care of Vhagar, which you don't complain about, but she's supposed to be his dog because you gave her to him.

And even though things are tense between you, you still can't help but feel sad and lonely every time you realize that he didn't even get to sleep and on weekends you're all alone.

Whenever you text him asking where he is or why he didn't get to sleep, he always replies the same thing: Alys. He apologizes for not telling you but still never tells you.

Now you sleep in the apartment all alone, with only Vhagar's company every day. And even though it hurt you a lot about the ball, you still miss your best friend very much.

You missed him the most especially when a nasty storm hit King's Landing at night and lasted all morning until six o'clock.

You hate storms and Aemond also knows that you are afraid of them.

That night you couldn't sleep at all, you were curled up hiding under your sheets, hugging Vhagar as your only comfort, hoping that everything would pass soon.

The next morning you couldn't go to class due to lack of sleep and Aemond didn't even show up at the apartment.

Until one night, saturday at one o'clock in the morning, you heard the sound of the door and his footsteps in the living room and kitchen.

And ready to talk to him about how you've been feeling these past few days, as well as the fact that you practically live here alone, you head out of your room.

But you stop just as you open a crack in your door when you hear and realize that he is not alone.

"We should have arrived at my house, Aemond."

"We talked about this, Alys."

"But she's always here. I don't understand why she never goes out with friends or anything."

"I told you she's not that type."

You could have closed the door and gone to sleep with the idea of talking about what you had in mind with him another day, but you stay still when you hear that they are talking about you.

And what Alys says next only makes you stand stiller and listen more attentively.

"Oh my love... Are you still worried about her?"

You sharpen your ear more, attentive and confused.

Worried about me?

You repeat in your mind not understanding, willing to listen more, even though you shouldn't but still you do.

"I'm not worried. I'm just thinking about her."

"You are worried, Aemond," Alys repeats in affirmation and in a serious tone, "What I don't understand is why if the ball was two weeks ago."

"I know," you hear him mutter, "But still, you should have seen her face... she already had everything ready and I told her a day before that I wouldn't take her with me."

"But she told you it was okay, didn't she?"

"Yeah, but..." sigh, "In a way it felt much worse that she understood."

Alys lets out a snort.

"Of course she must have understood, my love," she says obviously, "I'm your girlfriend, not her."

You press your lips together, thinking that it didn't even cross your mind that he was still thinking about the ball when he doesn't even see you and isn't even here.

You don't fully understand but you do have an idea that after the ball, maybe he needed to distance himself from you and that's why you haven't seen each other anymore and he doesn't come to the apartment.

Maybe he felt really bad about himself for killing your illusion of going to the ball together, like every year.

But if he feels so bad, then why did he do it?

You ask yourself with some bitterness.

Apparently Alys was more convincing to him and it's okay, she's his girlfriend, but he's just feeling bad after it's all over.

"You care a lot about her and it's ridiculous, Aemond. As ridiculous as it is that she lives here and doesn't give you a single penny."

And then again her words catch your attention more than ever and you continue listening attentively, with your face falling because of her words.

"Alys..." he calls out to her in a tired tone, "I already explained that to you."

"But even so," she insists with an absurd tone, "Won't she be ashamed? She's your best friend and she doesn't even think about helping you a little?"

"She does help me and you know it."

"I mean financially."

"Her parents send her what money they can for college. She buys food and also buys what she needs for her classes and other necessities."

"Oh, so not only she doesn't help you with money, but also her parents?"

"Alys–

"Hasn't she even thought about getting a job?"

"Yes, but I told her that it wasn't necessary, that she could help me with the domestic and I could help her with the money without charging her anything."

"Are you serious?"

"She's my best friend, Alys. I'm the one who convinced her to live with me because I wanted her to."

"No, Aemond. It wasn't because you wanted to. It was because you pity her."

Your heart skips a beat and you open your lips and listen in surprise, beginning to feel that sharp pain in your chest as it hurts to hear those words.

"No," he says firmly, "It's never been like that."

"Oh please, don't fool yourself," she insists, "Y/N is not like you and me...her family has no money and from what you've told me, she's always been on scholarship in everything."

"Not everyone can have what we have, Alys," he says incredulously, "Besides, why would I care if she has money or not? Other people like us are really distasteful and don't have even a shred of humility, sincerity and trustworthiness like she has."

"I don't see it that way. I think she's so different and you feel so sorry for her that you've made it easy for her by putting her in an apartment like this because you know she and her family don't have the resources."

"That's what you think. But she and I both know that's not true."

He says with a confident tone and yes, it is true.

Alys at this moment made you doubt, a lot, because of the venom he was spitting out every word and for speaking so confidently about how he really feels about you.

But you never felt that Aemond treated you, since their friendship began, with pity.

Never.

"She has always been there for me and never with the intention of taking advantage of me for what I have. Not for nothing is she my best friend and you know how selective I am with my friends."

You hear the long sigh she lets out, to which you must think she has an irritated face.

"Well, if you say so," she says bitterly, "Still, isn't it annoying that she's always here? She doesn't go out to parties, she has no friends but you, and whenever we come here we can't even have the privacy we'd like because she's locked in her room."

"This is her house too."

"She's not a child anymore, Aemond. You should tell her to get a job and an apartment of her own or live in the dorm now. Tell her you want your own space now."

"It's not even a year since we've been living together, Alys."

"So, if I tell you in one more year that we want us to live together, will she live with both of us too?

"Of course not."

He answers instantly in an absurd low tone and again you feel your heart break at his words because of how quickly he answered and in what tone.

And you can't blame him, those are plans with his girlfriend, you have nothing to do there. But you can't help it and it really hurts because you will never be her.

"Look... I admit that I do wish I could have more privacy and also that she would go out to have fun and meet new people... I even want to get here with you and she's not here."

You feel the tears start to form in your eyes, but you bite your lips and control yourself.

"But I can't just tell her that I want to live alone now and give her to understand that I want her to leave. And I really don't want her to leave, not like this," he say honestly, "Not when things are still tense between us," he sighs, "She's my best friend and I love her. I don't want to hurt her anymore. I really want to make things right with her."

And as if everything Aemond had just said wasn't relevant to Alys, she says the following with every intention of it actually happening someday soon.

"What if the two of us go live together somewhere else?"

And the few seconds of silence afterwards on Aemond's part you know is from his confusion.

"Hm?"

"If you don't want to hurt her, fine, let her keep living here so you can feel good about yourself by continuing to help her."

You frown, really hating and feeling annoyed with his girlfriend's words.

"Then we can look for another apartment to live together," she proposes and you feel your heart shrink, "It doesn't have to be now, but later, but really do it, what do you think?"

You don't hear anything again for a few seconds, wanting to hear Aemond's answer while your heart beats hard against your chest.

"Alys–

"Please, baby. I want to live with you. I want to do many things with you."

And in that moment you know it's enough as you hear them start kissing and you finally, carefully, close the door and lie back down on your bed, holding back the tears.

Not wanting to hear anything promising out there, you put on your headphones and try to sleep with this ugly pain in your chest.

You shouldn't have listened to that conversation between the two of them, but you couldn't help it. But after listening to them, staring for a few moments at the ceiling of your room, broken, you make the decision you had thought about before but were not sure about.

And that is that you will fulfill Alys' wish... you are going to look for a job and you are going to ask for a doorm in the residence.

The following days after hearing Aemond's conversation with his girlfriend, continue the same.

Aemond still doesn't show up much at the apartment, the two of you don't talk much, he is always with Alys and you start looking for jobs near the university without success.

When you don't find anything, the days of searching get longer because the ones that are available are far away from your area and others don't apply for you because they ask for experience.

And at the same time you try not to let everything you heard that night affect you by keeping busy with college.

You also try not to let it affect you that Aemond said he wanted to make things right between you but he still doesn't see you and doesn't show up because he's with Alys.

You really don't understand.

That's why you continue to look for a job as it hurts you that you are practically living alone in a big apartment like this when before it wasn't like this and you enjoyed Aemond's company.

Now it's just you and Vhagar.

Then one afternoon when you come home from school and finish feeding Vhagar and start preparing food for yourself, suddenly the door opens and Aemond enters with a soft look, instantly observing you.

"Hello, pretty one."

You try not to look surprised and confused by his arrival, so you just don't let his nickname affect you and smile a little, just a little, in his direction.

"Hi."

He smiles a little more at you as his gaze turns to Vhagar who runs excitedly to greet him.

"Hello to you too my little one," he says tenderly and you see how he takes her in his arms, "I missed you."

You look away from him to continue cooking, not wanting to talk and preferring to ignore him in the same way he seems to ignore you by not showing up or sleeping here anymore, leaving you and Vhagar alone.

You want to know why he has suddenly appeared, but you control yourself from asking. Just as you tell yourself that you don't plan to say anything to him about moving into the dorm until you secure a job.

"What are you cooking?"

You hear him ask you as he approaches you.

"Fillet," you reply briefly.

"Do you mind if I ask you to cook one for me?" He asks with some care.

"No," you answer simply.

You really don't want to be rude to him, after all, this is your agreement, so you cook a fillet for him, waiting to serve everything.

"Do you have something to do today?"

He asks you suddenly and you continue cooking, without looking at him.

"Homework," you answer, "Why?"

"Ah... some classmates are coming to prepare an presentation we have tomorrow," he lets you know and you finally turn to look at him, "I hope you don't mind."

"No, it's fine," you assure him, turning your back on him again, "I'll be in my room, you know."

"Of course."

Quiet.

You continue cooking and he seems to be waiting for his food, so you don't say anything, mostly because you don't have anything to say.

You feel his gaze on you at almost all times, which you deliberately ignore, trying not to make a big deal of it.

When you start serving and finally turn your face to him to place the plates and also the glasses, feeling more firmly his gaze on you.

"Y/N...

And as soon as he says your name you knew he wasn't watching you silently for nothing, but because he was fighting himself to talk to you about something that had him in doubt.

"I know I haven't been around much..." he starts to say and you avoid letting out a sigh of irritation, "And I also know that I've left you alone with Vhagar—

"Yes, I know," you interrupt him in a nonchalant tone, "And that's okay, you have things to do and honestly so do I, believe it or not," you say quickly and then open the refrigerator, "Do you want soda or juice?"

Your clear disinterest for not wanting to talk about it makes Aemond stop talking and watch you in silence, feeling a little guilty for your attitude.

But you continue to watch him expectantly for an answer and he gives it to you after a few seconds of silence.

"Soda."

You nod and start filling the glasses. And at that, Aemond doesn't insist on the matter and simply remains silent, waiting for you to start eating together.

But he can't be like this anymore. He really wants to make things right and that's why he mentions the next:

"Don't think I forgot your birthday."

He says in an attempt to finally calm the tension between the two of you as you turn and hand him the glass and then take a seat in front of him.

"You don't?" you say almost sarcastically, almost.

"Of course not," she assures you, "It's this Friday. Aren't you excited?"

"Not really," you say honestly, "I have a project due that friday that has been causing me a lot of stress. I don't want to get a grade that isn't worth all the effort."

"Oh come on, you always get the best grades," he says with a small smile, "Don't worry, you'll see, everything will be fine."

And the next thing he does is to place his hand on top of yours to give it a gentle squeeze as he always used to do before in situations like these, just like you do with him.

At this, you try not to fall for him and his gestures, so you just nod thanking him with your eyes for his support and start eating, just like him.

"And what are your plans? Tell me," he asks you interested.

"Mmm..." You grimace, "In the morning I don't have much planned, just to talk to my parents," you confess, "After class my friends said they wanted to take me to a restaurant and at night to go out partying but... I'm still not sure about that."

"About what?"

"The party."

He takes a sip of his soda and looks at you confidently.

"Let's go."

"Where to?"

"The party."

"You want to go?" you frown.

"Of course I do," he says with a smile, "I want to celebrate and have fun with you on your birthday."

You raise your eyebrows expectantly at him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, come on, I'll take you," he says more confidently than before, "In fact, since you won't be doing much in the morning, I could buy a cake for both of us, give you your present and I don't know, go out or watch a movie," he proposes, "Just me and you. Then I'll see you in the night and we'll go out and party."

So, for all that confidence in talking, even with that determination and that excitement in talking about making plans together on your birthday... you shouldn't but again you feel that hope come back to you.

That same spark and hope when he told you about the ball and in the end he did the complete opposite of what he promised you.

But this time... they are both talking about your birthday. You know and you know that he knows you're not just talking about anything.

That's why you stop feeling that little bitterness and forget about the conversation you overheard, you also stop considering going to live in the dorm because he just gives you hope.

"What do you say? Do you like the plan?" he observes you with a little excited smile.

And without being able to help it, you also smile softly in his direction, feeling how that emptiness in your chest fills up, leaving you feeling alone and ignored.

So you nod your head, avoiding showing too much of your happiness and illusion.

"Perfect."

And after you both finish eating, before his classmates arrive, you both make yourselves comfortable on the couches and talk about almost everything while Vhagar keeps you company.

And because of this, you feel more of that hope, that companionship that you had needed so much from him and finally everything is okay.

Everything feels okay.

All the following days, both Aemond and you go back to the old routine where you don't see each other as much and don't talk much.

But at least there is that feeling that between you everything is already fine and there are plans in place for the weekend that you couldn't be more excited and anxious about.

You've already planned everything with your friends as well, so it's sure to be a perfect day.

Until finally friday arrives and you expect to wake up to Aemond making a big fuss with that happy birthday children's song.

However, it doesn't.

You wake up to a chill in your room and also in the whole apartment when you realize that Aemond is not here. You check to see if he has left you a note or a text but nothing.

Instantly you think to yourself that he must be getting that cake he promised you, so you take a shower and get ready for the day.

Then you get congratulations from your friends and other family members. You even talk to your parents who are in your little town, Stone Hedge, in the Riverlands, working hard to support your studies.

And then when you finish getting ready, Aemond still doesn't show up, so you call him but he doesn't answer, you also send him messages but nothing.

[You]: I'll be waiting for you until 12PM. I have my class at 1PM.

And you send the message, wishing and hoping he'll be here soon.

Until the hours go by, he still doesn't answer, doesn't even return your calls, doesn't tell you anything and there definitely comes a time when you can't wait for him anymore.

And you control yourself. You don't want to think anything bad. You tell yourself that maybe something important came up at school.

So you stay positive, tell yourself that he will explain when you see him tonight, and leave the apartment to go to the university.

The moment you walk into your classroom, your friends greet you with big hugs, flowers and helium balloons wishing you happy birthday, which definitely lifts your mood.

And even more so when you turn in the most stressful project you've done so far in your entire career and with all the happiness and excitement in the world you see how you get graded with an A+.

And your friends are quick to say that it's all the more reason to celebrate tonight.

When the class is over, along with Aileen, Sara, Ryan and Ryan's friend James, you head to the restaurant they told you they wanted to take you to.

There they all order a bottle of wine and toast to your birthday and also to their good grades in this final project they handed in. Even the restaurant's employees bring you a small cake and together they sing happy birthday to you, feeling very nice.

Although unconsciously, you keep thinking about Aemond.

From time to time you check your phone to see if there are any answers from him yet, but nothing. So you really try not to think about him too much and fortunately, with the help of your friends, you succeed.

Until it starts to get dark and everyone says they should get ready to go to one of the many fraternity parties.

Ryan takes you with James to your house and expecting to see Aemond at the apartment, you arrive and no one is there except Vhagar.

You let out a long breath and call him one more time but nothing, so not to be late you get ready for the party.

You're hopeful that Aemond will eventually arrive, but even when you finish getting ready, nothing. And you know he won't show up or he would have already.

But there is still a little hope.

You think, confident and positive, because it is your birthday.

You ask Sara to pick you up and soon you are both arriving at the party where you meet your other friends who have also brought friends.

"What about your best friend, is he coming?"

Aileen asks you over the music and you, still wanting to feel confident, nod.

"Yeah, he might be a little late."

She nods and takes you to the kitchen to play with the other party games before everything here becomes a mess with so many people and louder music.

And you get distracted for a moment as you start to play and have some fun with the games.

You realize that you're actually having a great time despite Aemond's absence, but you still want to see him since it's your birthday.

That's why after a few hours have passed, the party is getting more crowded and everyone is starting to drink more, you check your phone and there's still nothing from him.

You turn away from everyone for a moment to call him but he doesn't answer. You look at the time and realize that it will be eleven o'clock at night and feeling a little worried now, you send him more messages.

[You]: where are you?

[You]: i have been trying to talk to you all day.

[You]: will you at least come to the party?

Nothing.

You let out a long, disappointed breath, yet you tell yourself that he couldn't have forgotten about your birthday, he just didn't.

He made the plans, he promised you a fun day, he said you two would be together.

But then... where is he?

As you walk back to the house, across the entire backyard, you finally feel your phone vibrate several times and you stop to turn the screen back on again, hopeful.

However... you wish you had not.

[aem❣]: sorry for not responding, I was busy all day with alys and we just finished having dinner with her parents.

[aem❣]: party?

And that's all he tells you.

So surprised and incredulous, somehow already expecting it since he didn't show up in the morning you think it can't be.

You can't really believe it and you wish you were so wrong but... it's the truth.

He forgot your birthday.

Your best friend really has forgotten your fucking birthday.

He doesn't tell you anymore, he doesn't say happy birthday, he doesn't apologize for his absence on your birthday, he just doesn't tell you anything.

He just asks you that, with that question being reason enough to give you to understand that he has forgotten the whole plan and your birthday.

And you don't cry.

You really don't want to cry. He doesn't deserve it.

So you avoid breaking down at that moment and just put your phone on silent to put it in your little bag, holding back the tears and enduring this huge sharp pain in your chest.

When that's when you decide you've had enough.

It's still eleven o'clock, you have one more hour to enjoy your birthday, then you'll have fun for the rest of the party and tomorrow you'll have time to feel bad about what your so-called best friend has done to you.

But this is not going to ruin what's left of your birthday.

So you suppress everything, mentally prepare yourself and go back to the party more confident and determined than ever to have fun with your friends who are here.

And that's what you do.

But after this, enough will definitely be enough.

taglist:

@hey-lucille @queenofshinigamis @winxschester @xcinnamonmalfoyx @ladymarg0t @yazzzmints @namoreno @wintrr13 @fan-goddess

[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

the darkling had a lot of repetitive phrases he used when he was manipulating people. this has been said before, but he says “you and i are going to change the world.” a LOT. like bro please get a new line we’re all tired of your bullshit he also uses the argument of grisha aging against people. he points out to alina that she’ll outlive mal, and points out to nikolai that zoya will outlive him. in both of these situations, he wanted the couples separated. he kept scaring them by making them think of losing each other. and idk i think that’s interesting.

i didn’t even like darklina in the beginning of the first book 1) age difference(he states he super old at the start, the worst part is he’s MUCH older than the age he lies about)2) he was being all mysterious and vague about how the little palace and grisha fit into alina’s life3) he seemed to be avoiding confrontation from alina when she asked him questions. ik that’s mostly because he was lying out of his ass but he was still leaving alina guessing pointlessly in the dark and let alina feel like an outsider. he was giving ALL the red flags even at the very start . But seriously, the two interacted a tiny bit in the first book (and that ended with him stealing her power and taking ownership of her), barely at all in the second, (and even that was just a whole lot of the Darkling being a creep and stalking on her, giving her mental trauma) and a tiny bit more in the third. (In which the Darkling killed several of her loved ones, destroyed her childhood home, and in turn, Alina killed him)

Just wanna say I'm not Anti darklina. I just want to khnow what do you think about this stupid fans :)))

Before I start, I want you to know that I'm staunchly anti-darklina and not for the reasons you think.

I hate Alina as a character and I believe the Darkling deserves a better partner than that village idiot. So don't expect any sympathies from me for her or for her 'trauma'. S&B is a chosen one trope and Alina is a stagnant protagonist. She had no thoughts beside Mal for THREE WHOLE BOOKS. And before you pile on me screaming, 'She's a teenager!', I'd like to point out that so was Katniss, Harry, Hermione, Percy and several other YA protagonists and they all did remarkably well in their quests. Where as Alina is a boring, judgmental and doormat of a character with air between her ears. So no, she's not going to receive any grace from me.

Now repeating phrases is a crime? Did Nikolai not have one? or did you forget about 'When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable.' or 'I love it when you quote me.'. I believe even Kaz had one. Somehow it's just a problem when the Darkling does it; that too he did like TWICE and to two people.

Besides, this whole, Zoya was also conveniently manipulated by the evil villain and was a victim too, was one of the most BS thing LB had ever written. And please, don't pretend like LB doesn't retcon her own stories. Eg. Genya's power was so rare in Book 1 that no one could do what she does till LB needed someone to disguise Nikolai. Suddenly, the Bataar twins could do it too. And by Six of Crows, even a poorly trained, fresh out of school Nina could tailor anybody like a piece of cake(not talking about the parem!Nina). Yeah, that's how much she retcons. So I'm no way believing that suddenly Zoya became so special to the Darkling that he said 'You and I are going to change the world'. Aleksander was like 500-700 years old and for an immortal like him, Zoyas were a dime and a dozen.

Zoya was the result of LB shooting her own foot by writing a stagnant character like Alina. So once LB got rid of her, she needed a new character every bit opposite to Alina-a confident girl boss who makes grown men quiver and yet every man would fall at her feet and bend over backwards to accommodate her. And voila! Zoya was born with the perfect amount of toxic girlboss energy and temper to bring down storms. Plus don't you think Zoya's entire character backstory is copy paste of Danny from GoT?

Anyways, coming back. When Aleksander was pointing out the mortality of their relationships, he was telling the truth. So is he supposed to just sugar coat things to the people who destroyed everything he built? Is he supposed to be nice to them? You seem to have a problem when he hides the truth and also have a problem when he tells them. So…

Coming to your other points;

1) Age difference - In real life, I strongly condemn it. But in this case, it's not like he was asking for it. Sure, Aleksander would love to have age appropriate relationships with someone mature enough to understood the struggles of Grisha. However, he can't because THEY'RE ALL DEAD, unlike him. So what is an immortal being supposed to do? Remain celibate for the rest of eternity?

2)I don't know how old you are but I'm going to assume you're working individual. So every time you have new coworker in your office, you'll spill out all your secrets to them right off the bat? Do you confess your sins and desires to them? Seek their forgiveness? Or beg for their acceptance?

See how silly it sounds? You're holding Aleksander to standard that you, yourself won't practice in real life. Aleksander is not a love sick boy, he's an experienced army general and Alina never earned his trust. You don't even have to look far and wide; Book 1, chapter 5 gives every info you need to know. He told her the reality and as usual it went past her. So no, there were no red flags. Your girl was just that stupid.

And when exactly did he make her feel like an outsider? Please, he never have to gaslight Alina, she can do that all by herself. Besides, did he stop her from training? or mingling with Grisha? Or let other Grisha mistreat her? She never opened her heart enough to actually learn about any Grisha. She even forwent eating at the common table after a few days. Even simple banter like Marie talking in Suli, was offensive and indirect hit on her worthlessness in Alina's eyes. And when she asked Genya to eat with her and Genya tried to explain why she can't, Alina's response was, 'I'm not going to weep into my soup.' She thought they were all mocking her. So how exactly Aleksander play in role into making her feel insecure? She had a major main character syndrome and was in a perpetual state of victimhood. Whatever she felt, I assure you, she did it herself.

Finally, he did not take ownership of her. He learned that she never could be trusted and used her as a weapon. He had bigger things at stake than an idiot's sensitivities. So he made sure the trigger for her powers lies with him. It's a trolley problem and I agree with what he did. In Book 2&3, Alina was his enemy, in case you missed that bit.

Once again, Aleksander is not a teenage boy. He's an army general fighting an active war. If you cannot understand the ugliness of war then you can never understand him. There's a duality to every great leader. Winston Churchill was a war hero but he also caused one of the greatest famines in India that killed nearly 4 million people. So make of it what you will.

PS: If you're the anon who has been spamming Pro-Darkling bloggers these past two days, then this would be the last time, I'm responding to you. You claim you're not against the Darkling and then bring up the same three talking points like every other anti. So I'd appreciate if you could stick to your side of the fandom. However, if you're not, then this is not directed at you and I was not trying to offend you.

[cheriladycl01]

Well, that's just the way the Cookie Crumbles ... - Fernando Alonso x Younger Actress! Reader

Plot: You are an actress/ stunt actress and get invited onto TOP Gear with Fernando Alonso to see who has the quickest time driving around Silverstone in your choice of car.

"So Fernando, you've had some interesting dating scandals over the years. Taylor Swift being one of them, however due to your most recent appearance on Top Gear, and having seen her around the paddock a few times people are wondering about your closeness to a certain Actress" the interviewing around the paddock asks as he comes up to Alonso, seeing he is alone and free to talk about the upcoming race and anything else.

"Well..." he starts before thinking back to the first time he met you.

"So today here we have Professional Driver in Formula One for Aston Martin Cognizant Racing Fernando Alonso" Paddy introduces as Fernando comes up and onto the stage shaking everyone's hands before taking a seat on the sofa in the Top Gear studio.

"That's not all that we have though tonight is it!" Chris says making Fernando frown, he assumed he was the only celebrity on tonight.

"No we also have Oscar Award Winning Actress and Stunt Actress, Y/N Y/L/N" Freddie says as you walk out onto the stage your high heels clopping against the flooring. You go and shake all of their hands, kissing Chris on either side of his cheeks having met him before.

"Hello" you smile waving at the crowd, screams coming from everywhere. You take everything in before taking at seat next to Fernando.

"So, we had both of you compete at a track that one of you knows extremely well" Chris starts and looks over at Fernando who nods, remembering a week ago him driving round the Silverstone track.

"Yes, i have raced that track many a time!" he admits.

"You've even won two Grand Prix there in 2006 and 2011. Which means gosh how old would have you been Y/N?" Paddy asks looking over to the younger actress.

"Oh, mmmm 2006 i would have been 13 years old, and 2011 i would have been 18" you work out mentally in your head.

"And its funny because we actually have a picture of you and Fernando Alonso back in 2011. You were just starting up your acting career! Look folks here it is" Freddie smiles showing the picture of you as a young adult stood with 30 year old Alonso.

"Woah i don't even remember that being you. I didn't even know who you were back then" Fernando says squinting at the picture in shock, trying to see if it really was you.

"I was awe struck with everything that was going on honestly i probably just looked like a fan. I can understand the confusion" you laugh knowing now that Fernando was actually a bigger fan of yours.

"Well, lets explain what we actually had these two do at Silverstone" Paddy answers.

"Yes, its about time. Lets show the video!" Freddie exclaims.

"Hello Top Gear Fans, today we are here at Silverstone shooting over one weekend, two different celebrities up against a totally new challenge" Chris introduces.

"I'm very excited for this challenge are you?" Freddie asks.

"Yeah, it's like the challenges we are normally privy too just without the pain being on us" Chris frowns, crossing his arms grumpily.

"So, todays challenge we have, Fernando Alonso and Y/N Y/L/N. They were asked to each choose a sports car in their budget to drive around Silverstone" Paddy introduces the challenge.

"Fernando is on Friday. Y/n on Saturday and today in the studio on Sunday its like our very own Top Gear Grand Prix" he admits showing the awfully drawn out plans for shooting.

"So, Fernando's been sent here with Aston Martin so we automatically knew he'll be taking the Aston Martin Valkyrie" Freddie says looking down at the cards in his hands.

"Yes it would be a little awkward if he chose another brand!" Chris laughs.

"The most surprising thing is Y/N has chosen the McLaren Speedtail! Is there a partnership we don't know about brewing?" Paddy asks.

And the video went on, little breaks where they came back to the show seeing Y/N and Fernando laughing along with each other and the presenters.

Eventually it showed Fernando go round, in dry conditions and very quickly. He was a seasoned expert at the track and new the racing line. However driving in an actual car was very different than his open wheeler.

Then it came back, he was asked about his run and how he felt that it had gone before switching onto you and the Saturday when you drove.

You had your helmet on, and you drove quickly. As a stunt actress you'd done a lot of risky driving in your time where you were confident in your skills to go quick and be able to drift without loosing any time or over-skidding to make the car flip and crash.

"So, are you both ready to find out who won?"

"Yes" you both had said in unison.

"Well, Fernando lets starts with you, you timed in at 1.32.823" Paddy says slowly reading off the card.

"And Y/N you timed in at a staggering 1.30.923" Freddie announces calling out the numbers really slowly. You looked at Fernando in shock, he also looked particularly shocked but seeing the way you didn't hesitate at any of the corners and seeing your aggressive way of driving from the videos it wasn't that much of a shock when he thought about it.

"How?" he asked

"Thats just the way the cookie crumbles baby" you smile at him.

His mind came back to the interviewer a small smile gracing on his face.

"Ahahah is he talking about his cool new girlfriend!" Lando squeals running back the camera seeing the look on his competitions face.

"Look at him, he's a grumpy grandad!" Albon follows with a quiet laugh that has George and Charles joining in with the mayhem.

"Yes, Y/N is my new girlfriend. We bonded after the filming for Top Gear and she took me away by her driving skills if im being honest" he admits, knowing he was still a little salty at how you'd beaten him and how you kept on insisting it was an age thing, you were younger and more spritely so of course you won.

He did find it funny and rather endearing the way you'd lean into him as you joked about how old he actually was, he loved you despite the teasing.

"But she isn't in Aston Martin, she's always seen in McLaren!" the interviewer pushes.

"Ah, well that is for her to show, i am not aloud to say anything. However, she will sneak over to Aston Martin to come and see me. I guess that's as she would say, the er cookie crumbles?"

A/N: sorry guys just two smaller individual imagines today where I've been busy with lots of uni stuff.

However, theres so much in the up and coming i think you'll all enjoy! We have a small Lance Stroll imagine that should be out tonight as well! Then we have a cute Pierre Gasly and Reader!

And then of course the continuation of my series such as Charles, Carlos, George and Oscar with the edition of a new Lando Series coming soon!

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee

[wonryllis]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 & 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖𝐒 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐒

𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖿𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝗒 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗆𝗒 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎?

ׅ ꢾ꣒ find the MASTERLIST here.

PREVIEW. you always get what you want, spoiled with the love of everyone around you. and it's all innocent love, at least that's what everyone thinks. it comes with much surprise therefore, when heeseung makes a move on you. thirteen long years of being in the brother zone having made him utterly clueless that if he’s going to date you he has to pass through your actual brothers first. and he knows how scary they can be. especially since they are known to have a sister complex and he’s been the third scary one with them, numerous times before.

𝐈 check out the PROFILES.

PLS READ THE CONTENT BELOW ALL THE CHARACTER INFO IS LISTED IN JUST THIS ONE POST !

𝐈𝐈 tune in to the CHARACTER INTERVIEWS ( given by the characters themselves ! )

CHOI YN 20 ( fashion ), well what do i say? hello everyone i'm choi yn! im sure everyone knows me already ^^ .. what else do i say? hmm i love my life a lot! i love my brothers and heeseung and wonie so much, they are the closest people in my life! oh shit sorry riki too hehe oops. college has been fun since im doing exactly what i wanted and it's fun to hangout with won all the time. seungie brings me snacks all the time and binnie lets me eat cakes everyday even though junnie has scolded them not to cause i easily get dental problems and then he has to convince be to go to the dentist, eww.

LEE HEESEUNG 23 ( film ), if you ever stop hearing from me, please know that my day has come and i have chosen to be exposed. as much as jun and soobs love me, and as much as they love tiny(my yn, she's just real cute) if i ever dare speak of that kind of love with tiny in the same sentence it's my last moment on earth. jay and taehyun help a lot and i'd give everything to thank them for it but man they still haven't been able to actually help me get with yn?

CHOI SOOBIN 24 ( law school ), yes my sister is my everything, each one of her wishes no matter how stupid and idiotic they are, must be fulfilled. i think i was like ten when ynie said being a lawyer would be so cool, and it's been my life's motto now. law school kicks my ass yeah but whenever i think of how happy she'd be to see me as a badass lawyer it feels like nothing. i could easily help her win the divorce that's a plus point, i think i should start looking into divorce attorney things.

CHOI YEONJUN 25 ( model ), i swear scaring away my baby sister's admirers is one of my full time jobs besides runaway modelling but alas she is my sister of course she's a beauty. i know she will date and marry a motherfucking guy one day, and i won't be able to stop it but i hope that day takes the longest time to come. she was one of the first ones to say how good my dressing style was, if it wasnt for her i would not be one of the rising faces in the fashion scene today.

PARK JAY 22 ( music production ), being lee heeseung's childhood friend has been my life's greatest downfall. and being his emergency contact number one is probably the biggest mistake of my life. it's so so so infuriating to see him do nothing and panic over the fact that some might sweep her off her feet right before his eyes like fucker you gotta sweep her off her feet rather than worrying over how someone else might sweep her off her feet. taehyun probably understands me.

SIM JAKE 22 ( physics ), it's fun, so so fun i can not express it verbally man, 'm having a blast! there's so many new things to learn i am so happy with my major and my astronomy club thing is going so well too, it's been amazing so far. the only thing i dont like is my mates ignoring me, like i tell them about all these quantum mechanics things and how it's works like it's legit the coolest thing ever and they don't wanna listen me and then come to me for help with assignments like dude? there's no give and take here and it's not high school anymore? but i do it cause im nice :)

PARK SUNGHOON 22 ( communications ), first of all i gotta thank my man taehyun for letting me copy off of him to pass my semesters so far. as a full time commercial and photoshoot model, college is just a side quest for me at this point, just need an arm candy degree to show that i am infact educated contrary to what people think. oh and i'd like to tell this, don't tell anyone, i actually know all the drama going on and it's so funny but i gotta stay low if i wanna be safe. sometimes i do think of stirring things up but yeonjun man he scares me, i better be on his good side.

KIM SUNOO 21 ( journalism ), for real god am i the only one working my ass off here cause why the hell all these dicks be fucking up their lives and copying off people to survive like? look at me, every little gossip on campus and you know who to go to get the full info! exactly how it should be for a journalism major. i swear i am doing all the shit ass work here. i admit i slip sometimes especially with heeseung's secret in front of god forbidden yn but 'm just a human, and humans make mistakes yk? and please tell kai to fuck off please, thank you.

YANG JUNGWON 20 ( fashion ), it's a different feeling when three guys trust you with their precious sister. and it's a different feeling when that precious real spoiled girl treats you like the best buddy she could ever have. but it's not so fortunate when you gotta dash to protect anytime the brothers ping you, it's like a national secret agency part time job and it's the hardest thing when the target is someone like yn. i treasure her a lot, as a friend! yes, yet the times when her brothers get jealous of me are some of the most nerve wrecking times.

NISHIMURA RIKI 20 ( photography ), are we surprised here? no wtf have y'all not seen the pics i post on my twt like i got talent you have to accept it. especially a lot of talent in gaming and luck, my luck be through the roofff. just started lol a year ago and my YouTube Chanel six months ago and im already almost a diamond and about to hit a million subscribers.. talk about god's favorite! ha that's me. but the thing is more than that i wanna be yn's favorite like i know she says won and i are same but i know that kitty is closer. for now i like being glued to yn, but after figuring out things so easily it's hard to keep quiet.

CHOI BEOMGYU 23 ( film ), with the amount of hate train behind me it's a miracle i am still breathing and in one piece. praying all this ends quickly and my life is returned back to me or i'll go crazy it has been like what two? three? years already! i need my freedom. i can count and name with my fingers the people who hate me. actually no it's everyone. anyways, i share all classes with heeseung and lord is it the scariest part of my life. at least yeonjun and soobin would need time to hunt me down but lee heeseung? he's right behind me two rows, staring down my every movement. look it's not my fault okay?

KANG TAEHYUN 22 ( communications ), it wasn't consensual. it is very important to clear this up. i did not give my papers to park sunghoon by choice. he had to pay me hefty for that so there's no thank you man, dude is pretending. and i am fucking sick of covering for heeseung all the time like dude grow balls, real balls dig up some manly guts and fucking do it before i lose patience and fuck shit up. every moment of listening to him lamenting over his feelings is the most frustrating shit ever. make him hear this one for god's fucking sake.

HUENING KAI 22 ( journalism ), no matter how much everyone denies it, i know they won't survive a day without me like? i provide sunoo with all the gossip of our side? how else do you think heeseung sneaks around yeonbin with his feelings? god it's me i do the passing the parcel of info. i mean taehyun is also involved with them but then i am more useful than that reality check of a guy, i mean who needs reality when you can live in a fantasy! hehe i just outdid everyone with that! or not anyway moving on yn's cr— SUNOO: shut the fuck up bitch!

𝐈𝐈𝐈 learn about THE GROUPCHATS.

01. HEEYN TRUTHERS heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, taehyun and sunoo: the group that has been supporting heeseung in pursuing his feelings since he first revealed it to them. for whenever he fucks up and they have to discuss how to save his ass. normal chats happen too.

02. BOSS BABIES yn, jungwon, riki: the trio that has been friends since middle school, and sticks together. yn spends most of her time with them, that is in college. often goes out to hangout and these two are yn's only actual friends!

03. SHOOTERZ 4 YN yeonjun, soobin, heeseung and jungwon: they use this chat to text each other whenever someone upsets yn or she's going somewhere alone and they need jungwon to secretly tag along to give them updates later.

04. PRINCESS & HER KNIGHTZ yn, yeonjun, soobin and heeseung: the main stars— spoiled baby and her overprotective boys. usually text her when it has to do something with the four of them, like when yn goes out or she needs someone to pick her up or accompany her or when they have dinner at each other's place and someone's missing and likewise.

05. PSYCHOS W/ SICKOS yeonjun, soobin, beomgyu, taehyun, huening kai and heeseung: well this is heeseung's other friend group with the yn brothers' friends that become his own after a while. this is yeonbin dominated friend group chat and beomgyu is main character lmao

START THE STORY — prologue 𓈒 ‎𓈒 ‎𓈒

TAGLIST . ( OPEN ) @s00buwu @lilyuwon @pockyyasii @nctislifue @shawnyle @enhastolemyheart @aaa-sia @snoopypupp @criminalyun @oddracha @satan-223 @diorsyun @hooniehon @fakeuwus @caramelcandescence @intromortal @kookify @yutasberryy @sumzysworld @nikiswifiee @shuichi-sama @primroselover @rayofsunshineeee @aishigrey @yjwluvs @soraokkotsu @nyfwyeonjun @srhnyx @trashx678 @wondipity @winuvs @hoondiors @niniissus @firstclassjaylee @biancaness send an ask to be added! (if your comment goes unnoticed it is not my responsibility)

[storkmuffin]

i love The Leaders i’m glad you mentioned it! never looked into the lyrics but i love the threatening aura (wooyoung’s whispers are SO COOL i will not rest until they let him do more villainous and evil things)

if you don’t mind, could you share what you think about the korean lyrics? <3

선도부 / The Leaders is the most problematic song for me, and I'm so glad you asked this question. I tend to get haunted by this song, because it's damn catchy and fun and significant bits of it are such earworms and stay with me, but I also find the whole vibe and lyrics so extremely uncomfortable. I'll try to explain but TLDR, I kind of never want to see them perform it or make an MV for it.

I'm using the translation into english available on the Genius.com for 선도부 (The Leaders) as of today's date, April 25, 2025. I also have things to say about how wrong a lot of it is.

Here goes:

Seon-do-bu (선도부) Are Not Your Friends

선도부다 wait wait (yes, sir) /손들어라 wait wait (yeah yeah)

It's the leaders, wait, wait (Yes sir)

Raise your hands, wait, wait (Yeah, yeah)

Starting with the word 선도부, mistranslated as Leaders, there's an immediate problem. I can't think of what exists in the West that is the equivalent but 선도부 (Seon-do-bu) are not leaders in the normal sense of understanding the word in English. Hall Monitor maybe, except those kids were not given the power that seon-do-bu had. They're more like the Iranian morality police portrayed in Persepolis:

These are not people elected by peers to represent the student body - that's 반장 (class president) or 회장 (student union chairperson). What Seon-do-bu do is they enforce the dress code and rules of student decorum and behavior against other students, because they are empowered to do so by the teachers. They are children who have been delegated adult supervisory powers over other children, and it never works out well, because kids empowered over other kids never works out well.

Oh, to any assholes who have never been to Korea and are about to get racist and weird about the special oppressiveness of Korean society, you can eat shit and die, honestly. Children everywhere are oppressed, and teenagers especially are subjected to dehumanizing, controlling rules in almost every place I've ever heard of.

Anyway. This system of having Seon-do-bu exists because of two legacies:

1) military dictatorship culture, which was a direct legacy of the militaristic terror that Japanese colonialism inflicted on Korea for 30+ years leading to basically the whole society functioning like one giant totalitarian army and the massive population well into the 1990s, and

2) the post Korean war baby boom in South Korea coupled with the new rules for 100% mandatory education for both boys and girls as well as all social strata of persons, which led to absolutely overpopulated schools for a long time. There would be 60 kids to a class, 12 classes per grade, and every school was like this. Given the extremely strict rules for attire (hair can't be longer than however many cms, clothes must have a specific, military-clean fit, no personal accessories, etc etc) it became impossible for teachers to do all this monitoring themselves, and hence they selected children who were especially intimidating to take on the task of being enforcers.

These are not, I repeat, the smartest or most accomplished or popular students. These are the toughest, most rigid ones that enjoy exercising power over others. Some cynical teachers were said to have picked the children most likely to be rule flouters and problems for the teacher and instead made them this quasi-military morality police and unleashed them on other students. By getting to be seon-do-bu, the troublemakers hid (not abstained, but hid) their problematic behaviors from the teachers and therefore made it not the teacher's problem. They instead channeled their aggression and destructive energies on other children instead.

So just imagine, a teenage boy or girl chosen for their ability and desire to tell off other students, wearing a fascist armband (more on the damn armband below), authorized to give everyone who comes to school a once over head to foot to see if they have non-regulation personal jewelry or their hair is too long, giving you that examination every single morning you come to school. EEK!

In fact the word Seon-do-bu created such a negative set of feelings that they started to call it something else: 학생생활지도부 (Student Life Guide Group) or 또래지킴이 (Peer Guardians - as in, these guardians guide their peers away from paths to ruin, I guess). But according to articles I found questioning why we still have this system as of 2018 students still complained of feeling intimidated and afraid when they had to walk by these kids.

In at least one performance, Ateez make it clear that they are the negative image of seondobu that I have, and they like it. The little 'acting bit' that happens right after this intro (this is during the Kingdom Final performance, air date 21.06.03), Hong Joong does come to the 'rescue' of some dancer who is a kid being bullied, but it goes by in 2 seconds before they start "The Real." But they had to put that in there to stave off criticism that they were glorifying a thing that people like me would really object to.

The swagger about the Confucian Fundamentalist Fascist armband with both Seonghwa and San almost punching their own arm with glee, like they're 'powering up,' enacting being the tough kids who don't look like they've ever held a book never mind pay attention class, and nevertheless being seon-do-bu ordering people around? Yikes.

And yet the song is bouncy and fun (but I mean, I've read that Neo-Nazi songs are also very catchy), the boys are all Idols so they're beautiful and hot, and styled within an inch of their lives, so it's all aesthetically quite fun, you know?

I am suffering.

And it plays into a stereotype about Gyeongsangdo men being toughs, gangsters, criminals, enforcers etc. Moreover, the delivery of the words Seon-do-bu-da wait wait - where they don't pronounce the T on WAIT on purpose? It comes out to a Korean listener not reading along to the official lyrics like 선도부다 왜왜? - which is I'm Seun-do-bu why why? literally, but it the why why in our language context basically means, What are you gonna do about it, loser? I'm sure they did that on purpose.

The New Kkondae Situation

나쁜 건 나빠 man (yeah yeah)/ 말 들어 뉴 꼰대 (yes, sir)

Bad things are bad, man (Yeah, yeah)

Listen to me, new kkondae (Yes sir)

First off, if anyone actually said, 말들어 to me to my face I would straight up throw a chair at their face in the hopes of causing grievous harm. It's so rude and so condescending. It doesn't just say, "listen to me." It says "You're wrong, and I'm right, and you are moreover stupid and I'm superior, so you need to shut your mouth entirely and obediently listen to what I am teaching you." Again, the compression of Korean is very hard to explain in English, but 말들어 is a form of imperative for which the only non-abusive use I can imagine is a mom talking to a 2 year old having a meltdown in the supermarket, rolling around on the floor screaming because she won't buy them a 5 kg bag of brown sugar they are suddenly obsessed with.

Also the translation in Genius adds this false comma, "Listen to me, New Kkondae" because whoever did that didn't like what the song was actually saying. Ateez are not addressing the New Kkondae here as some sort of 'other,' they're calling themselves new kkondae. They're reclaiming the word kkondae, and declaring that they are carrying on kkondae values.

The explanatory note contributed on Genius lyrics says:

kkondae loosely translates as a “condescending older person”, the kind often found in a middle or upper management position in the workplace. So they’re trying to tell their “kkondae” to stop ordering their youngers around.

The first part is not wrong. That's generally what kkondae means. But of course, that's not all, and that's not the most important thing. Kkondae has acquired more color and more context over time, and now means something close to Someone Who Demands Fundamentalist Confucian Values Which Are Behind the Times. Why are such values behind the times? Because they are directly against concepts like, oh, democratic free speech, the assumption that everyone is equal and therefore everyone has an equal right to speak, that speech will not be met with physical violence, things like that. It's not just feminist women who don't like Fundamentalist Confucian values - any man who wants the right to disagree with someone older or richer or higher up in the hierarchy should rightly also hate it. And MOST DO.

The last time we lived in a truly Confucian society was during the Victorian era in England, OK? So these are people who are espousing Victorian values. Not even Edwardian but Victorian.

Millennial Korean men especially have been very loud from Day 1 of their adulthood about how much they hate it. And moreover, people born in the 1960s and 70s also hate the idea of kkondae, and fear becoming kkondae. Kkondae also means close minded. It was very important to have this word that insults and corrects this type of mindset. I'm very alarmed at the attempt to have kkondae be 'hip' in any way by reinventing some 'friendlier' version of it. This is too alarmingly close to the horrifying repackaging of the oppression of women as being a relaxing and feminine lifestyle that's been recently happening in the US.

The most trad-values guys of the Ateez group have also filmed this content, where they proclaimed themselves the new kkondae, more or less, which cements this perspective. The most traditional values guys among Ateez are Seonghwa, San, Jongho and Wooyoung.

The ones that did not show up for this are important to consider too. Yeosang, Hongjoong, Yunho and Mingi aren't here. I can't get into it here but this video - and especially Jongho's attitude, remain a sharp pebble in my shoe about my fandom for this group.

Aint a Bad Thing Still Bad?

Hold up / 널 이끄는 황야의 리더 / Hold up /나쁜 건 나쁜 거 아입니까

Hold up, I'm your leader in the wilderness (Ooh) / Hold up, ain't bad still bad? (Ooh)

This is going to be yet another Gyeongsangdo moment, but they give this line to San, who says it in his regional accent. 아입니까 is technically speaking dialect, and not proper grammar. Proper grammar is 아닙니까, and even that formulation is down south dialect, and most people would say 아닌가요? 아입니까 is regional dialect, and it's also reaches back to something I don't want anyone reaching back to.

When a patriarchal Gyeongsangdo man says this phrase, and they do say it, it sounds neutral but the neutrality is a false cover. When I hear it, it makes me feel really violent, because it is one of the rhetorical tools used violently on me as a child, which helped make me the eruptive, verbally scary person I am today. It's phrased like a question - May I just confirm that a bad thing is in fact bad? but that isn't what the phrase is really SAYING.

It's saying, instead, I have decided what is good and what is bad, and those are the only two options. If you keep yapping, I am going to decide that you are a person who can't distinguish between good and evil, and moreover, may not be on the side of the good, which I have defined and my definition is the only one that is possible. So are you, in fact, someone who knows the difference between good and evil, and if you can, are you on the side of good or not?

It's a silencing rhetorical tactic with a threat of violence behind it, and it's in this song. I hate it so much.

Wait a second, woo / 숨이 턱까지 딱 / 아파 내 맘 / 아픈 데는 빨간약

소리는 악 / 따가워 소리 질러 / 오늘도 nah / 나쁜 건 나쁜 거다

Wait a second (Ooh) / Breathe to my chin (Woah) /My heart hurts

Red medicine for the pain (Bad) / Say “Ow” (Ow) / It stings, shout out (Freedom) /Today again, nah / Bad things are bad

위에 더 위에 / 서 차렷 서 집합해 yeah/ 전부 내 뒤에 /쉿 조용 쉿 따라 해 (yeah yeah) /집중해 지금 / 내 시도가 도시를 바꿔놨지 / 그 말마따나 조용히 시키는 대로만 하면 돼 / 용기 패기 객기

Higher and higher, stand up straight, gather around

Everyone behind me, shh, be quiet, follow my orders

Focus now, my actions changed the city

Just shut your mouth and do what you're told

Be brave, brash and bold

I can't do a word for word analysis but there is a typical Hongjoong Korean pun in here: 내 시도가 도시를 바꿔놨지. sido - dosi . Sido for attempt, dosi for city. Very cute.

The English translation says "shut your mouth, do you what you're told" but that's inaccurate. The lyrics actually say, All you need to do is obey my instructions in silence.

The Damn Arm Band

몸엔 black suit and tie / 오른팔엔 완장 tight / 롤리 대신 롤리팝

지금부터 긴장 빡

Wear a black suit and tie / Tight armband on my right / Lollipop instead of rollie / Stay nervous from now on

To show that they were empowered to oppress other children, Seon-do-bu wore armbands. Who else wears armbands? Nazis. Italian Fascists. The terrifying, destructive monstrous children of the Red Guard. The Military Police of most armies.

The whole purpose and design of armbands is supposed to cause a frightened shrinking in the person not wearing it, in order to silence them into meekness.

The Genius translation has this note which...

Armbands on the upper arm are of significance in a lot of cultures: in Japanese society, it’s often a method to identify the leader of a club/group. In soccer as well, it’s a symbol of captaincy which shows the crowd and the players where to look for inspiration, as the Captain has a responsibility to be a role model.

....I am supposed to say stuff like whoever this is meant well and they were trying to help and so on, but Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck it nah, this is my blog, and I am just going to say it:

If anyone ever ever EVER EVER tries to explain anything in Korean society at all whatsoever by going, "In Japanese society" just cut out their tongue. They have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. This note is every kind of entirely wrong and stupid. Why even say anything if you're going to be this goddamn WRONG? I hope they have painful poops from constipation every day until they die.

Wooyoung has a killer delivery of this line - the whispering is so menacing and sexy it's sickening.

But at the same time?

The word for power tripping in Korean actually literally says "the shit that happens when the wrong person wears an armband" (완장질). Feral, out of control young men in armbands have and always will be really bad news for women. And I can't let that go, unfortunately, which interferes with my capacity to enjoy this song.

8th Grade Syndrome and ATEEZ TRANSLATION FAILS

무슨 말을 해 / 안타까운 게 / 하나도 안 멋져 / 중2병 같아 / 내 몸에 딱 맞는 옷이 제일 예뻐 aye

What are you talking about?

You're such a pity

It's not cool at all

You're like a chuunibyou

Tight clothes are the prettiest

Chuunibyou (中二病 / 厨二病), often shortened to chuuni or chuu2, is an often-derisive Japanese slang term for the embarrassing behavior of 13-to-14-year-olds. The term literally means “Middle [School] 2[nd Year] Syndrome”.

So in this line, they’re trying to say that their haters or “kkondae” (as previously stated) are like immature children.

The last line is a bit wrong. The lyric is not 'tight clothes are the prettiest.' It means the clothes that are tailor made to you, that is, the clothes that fit you, are the ones that look the best. There's an English phrase for this concept too - Getting Too Big For Your Britches. That's what they're talking about.

중2병 literally means Second Year of Middle School Disease. Again the compulsion to shove Korean things into a Japanese frame - I WILL SMACK. OK to be fair about this one- this particular phrase, 중2병 is actually an imported phrase from Japan, but the meaning is now rather diverged from the OG Japanese concept. It used to mean teen angst or behaving like an angsty teenager but now it means something different - it means, in short, cringe. It means, someone who is pretentious, but also deeply ignorant and uninformed, and therefore transparently unable to sustain the pretensions to which they aspire.

And obviously, I disagree that Ateez are disavowing kkondae altogether. They want to be Reformation Kkondae. They want to be Renaissance kkondae. They're not rejecting it altogether, and made reality content in support of this desire to perpetuate Confucian fundamentalist behaviors, while staying stolidly silent about how, like all fundamentalisms, it was absolutely shit to women.

Yeah, I'm the leader, both captain

남달라 성이 / 멋대로 줄 세워도 우린 항상 처음이지

기준 앞뒤 좌우로 나란히 / 다 정숙해 정숙하고 손들어 찔리면

너는 겉멋이 죄 너는 언행이 죄 / 별점 받기 전에 벌점이 답인 애

후덜덜 손바닥 맴매 /난 여기까지만 선생님

I'm the leader, both captain

My family name is different / Cut in line, but we're always in the front

Attention, front and back, from side to side

Everyone, be quiet, shush, raise your hands up

If your'e caught, your fashion is crime, your words and actions are crime /Bonus points, no, minus points are your cure

You're shaking, let's hit your palms / I'll be your teacher until now

The translation for this in the English is also off, and it also seems to have a nostalgia for something that was actually quite vile.

손바닥 맴매: Corporal punishment, quite serious, quite violative, enacted by teachers upon students was a major method of pedagogical abuse and control in Korean schools until the early 2000s.

기준 앞뒤로 나란히 - is not Attention front and back etc. It says line up straight. You know like the military does, all the time? Line people up in straight blocks of interchangeable humans, and then make them march. This is yet another Fascism has cool aesthetics though, kind of a vibe.

손들어 찔리면: If your conscience is pricked, raise your hand to turn yourself in, is what he actually says. Obey in advance, in other words.

난 여기 까지만 선생님: This is blatantly wrongly translated. It doesn't say I will be your teacher until now. What he says is, This is as far as I a go, and then is calling the teacher to take over.

So in sum, what Hongjoong says is this: Your pretentiousness is your crime (can also be SIN because this group has really Catholic lyrics all the time), your speech and behavior are criminally bad/ sinful. The way to deal with a kid like you is penalize you rather than coax with praise. You should be given corporal punishment. Teacher, take over please.

And now to be a total killjoy about an enjoyable song

The fundamental problem with this song, and what it shows me, is the VAST GULF that still exists between Korean men and women, about where we are as a society. This song that looks with cheeky nostalgia at the era of Seon-do-bu, at the era of kkondae who did whatever they wanted without limit because there wasn't a word to critique such behavior, and reappropriates it for a fun time is only possible if that era is completely over. An entertainment company that created an all male group for whom the writers of the songs are also all men and they call their CEO Papa (I am not ever letting this go) that thinks the era of fascistic patriarchy is entirely over is not with it. For Korean women, we are still fucking in it. This is happening to us, -ING, in present tense. There is no nostalgia possible. It's not cute to me. And it's disturbing that they're using such charismatic boys to sing me this song.

All that said, there probably is some sort of justification in their lore for why this song exists. Maybe it is intended as subversion. But that just doesn't come through. And moreover, we're in a worldwide era of a resurgence of fascism. Men the same generation as Ateez elected an openly anti-feminist president into office in South Korea. That man then tried to criminally declare martial law, had to be fought off by a lot of young women protesting (using kpop lightsticks instead of candles!) and the very sturdy S. Korean democratic process and courts, and is now being tried as a criminal. And he still has MZ generation young men fans weeping for him and supporting his blatantly anti democratic tendencies. Confucian fundamentalist fascism is not cool. I don't want it.

But the song is really so catchy and fun, and performed with such panache.

Life is so hard, sometimes.