#it's just the thing that is has two gs which makes it worse I feel | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lightbulb-warning · 1 year ago

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[MAJORLY uncoherent anecdotal storytine:]

entertainment value: mild

cw: blood exams (not described in detail), vague mentions to struggles that aren't elaborated on, tmi personal rambling written by someone who is loopy from blood loss aka bad grammar/syntax/morphology/yeah also this got long whoops

im feeling mega loopy cuz blood exam (dundnt faint!! how outstanding of me. iamcurrently instanding. batumtssk!!i lie down now.)

but AT the blood exam a newer nurse stopped by and my usual nurse was like "PIVELLA meet [redacted <- (me. im redacted.)] this kid is a STAPLE in this department bla bla" and wow mom look im famius!! it only took me getting my blood displaced and stared at medically and faintinf a lot very often hshahahaah

the usual nurse is so NICE she's been doing my blood check traslocations since ive been like 15 i think maybe earlier?? idk idk i love her she's so nice and a kickass lady and she bullies all her coworkers and also me a lot!!! bully as in teasing she's nice yeah anyway yeah

me having to get my blood checked often is really inconvenient and kinda sucks!!! because i get koed and fuck if i can do anything for the next 24hs blegh but but BUT this lady has seen my grow up and seenbthe fuck up my life became and is seeing me pick up the peices abd whenever she sees me in the waiting room she shouts "its YOU" very dramatically and the staff has inside jokes about me and my dumv unoptimezed blood stats and thats REALLY NICE SOBS

like i dont wanna make a fable moral out of it like live love kaugh kindess uwu because realistacally, when i was fucked up previously (in the way that was bad compared to how i am fucked up now. funny joke. laugh.) i didn't gove two shits about people being nice to me because i was a massive hater and hated myself most (loser behavior!!!! the world hates you already love yourself out of SPITE!!!!!!!!!!) so people going out of their way to make a horrible situation slightly less horrible for me COMPLETELY went over my head "broom broom autopilot kill crush destroy ourselves!!!" (<- that's what my head looked like.ew there's no whimsy and silly in there, gross!! jk baby me gets the reatroactive love myself treatment bc noone els ecan do that for me!! what was i saying) and yeah i wasn't neurobiologically capable of giving two shits about anything, especially some random nurse going out of her way to crack jokes but idk i appreciated now!!! and she realizes i appreciate it now!!! and it's nothing big or grandiose i guess the world is still turning and nothing in the essential state of things changes bc i did a navelgazey testimony of WOW SOMETIMES THINGS CAN BE OKAY OCASSIONALLY HOLY SHIT?? but also!!! if i don't do it!!!!!!! who will!!???????

aesop would prolly write about foxes and grapes and terracotta pottery and crows and things being okay with time, but ME, a certified "just some guy", is gonna ramble about " it's gonna be okay" semantics because its!! been!! bullshit!! BUT THAT'S OKAY!!!!

shit got SO MUCH worse than what i could've imagined in my catastrophation!!!!!! id wasted my life preparing and planning for all the plans Ds and Gs and Js and Zs because my situation was FUCKED and i didn't have power to fix it, and too bad!!! SHIT HAPPENS AND IT SUCKS!!! time isn't gonna fix SHIT!!!!!! time is just a tracker of when!!! time does no good time does no harm!!!! what time did give my stupid fucking idiot idiot lovely self was time to change!!! not in just "omg change your perspective ✨" (which can be really really really important!! but you shouldn't take anyone's shit just because you see their perspective!!!! no you don't deserve to be treated like shit!!!!!! they don't deserve to get away with treating anyone like shit!!!!! what makes you so special that the world's evil needs to converge upon you?? you're just some guy!! they're just some guy!!! you be nice to you!!)

time is just there!! what does get okay with time is being!!! your enemy is no longer gonna cause you stress once you outlive them!!! you can be better than your yesterday self at any time!!! life goes on if you fuck up everything and you CAN do whatever you want with the peices!!! FAIL!!! FEAR!!! if we're scared we do it scared!!! it's not gonna be okay because its gonna be perfect, it's gonna be okay because it CAN be different!!

im still not """""fixed""""" , im still screwing things up and i still don't really understand what exactly is """""wrong""""" with me and that's okay for now, and hey!! i am capable of having a nice interaction with someone!!!! that's progress.

massive tangent lmao

local tumblr user gets some blood consensually stolen, has a positive interaction with someone, goes home and starts preaching at [unidentified recipient] jesus fucking christ maiora go to sleep this isn't the time for monologues

tl;dr: someone was nice to me just to be nice and im happy because i wouldn't have been able to appreciate it previously and it's nice to see people being nice for the sake of it

im nap now buh bye thanks for reading have a night or day!!!! be nice to you i can't do that for you!!! /lh

#incoherent #absolutely incoherent #shut up maiora #shut the FUCK up maiora #affectionate #ramble #anecdote anthology #illbregret posting this but also itd be funny to have my rambles out there and people can read my woozy rambles at my funeral/pos #like if it stays in my brain noone can see it. if i get it out my brain it's a sign i existed in whatever capacity and idk that's fun #not that im dying anytime soon #what's death gonna do?? stop me???? pathetic.#/j #i really need to sleep

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shishikusas · 3 years ago

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ok so idk if you already know this but puppy lover on yt recently left their masa channel. truly the end of an era. but in their last video they asked for honest opinions on masa so I’m throwing my two cents to like the only other active masa blog on here hope you don’t mind👉👈 (if you don’t wanna read it just skip) what’s your opinion on mass’s songs lately??

So I really really love the onibi, sister and secret series. And ya I agree with a lot of the comments there— masa’s songs are lacking nowadays. He’s still a great guy, but all his songs sound the exact same (I believe it’s edm??) His old content was more original and actually had better pv’s.

But more than that for me they had better storyline. The onibi series had really deep lore, the sister series had a lot, the secret series had a bit too, and maha was full of it. That being said nowadays all of his songs share the same three themes of dr1nks, dr*gs and s3x. There’s no originality which made onibi such a hit. They’re all parodying off each other.

Also is it just me or is the anatomy on the newer videos a bit…off?? It seems like he’s emphasizing certain parts more than others and it makes the whole thing look a bit disproportionate. Idk if it’s just me, I’m not an expert by any means.

That being said, it’s not like his new content is bad by any means, it’s cool to listen to. And it’s nice. For a couple of times. It’s kinda insipid after that.

tldr masa’s old stuff was better than his new for me, and I miss it a lot. He’s still a good guy and the new music is cool but the onibi, sister and secret series will always have a place in my heart.

i just posted a comment on the video on puppy's channel, so i will copy it here:

i'll be completely honest in my opinion here. masa's stuff has not gotten worse, it has just changed and i still love it and listen to it, and it really disheartens me when people leave bc i feel like im just wandering around in a desert. like where did all the people go :( the community was so bustling in 2016-2019 and it just feels abandoned now.

there are some things i can agree on though. there was a time in 2019-2020 ish where i thought he wasn't living up to his full potential, or he was trying to create new stuff and hadn't gotten it completely down yet. and yes, it's easy to look through the lenses of nostalgia and miss all the lore stuff he used to do - i mean i fucking love the onibi series and all its lore but we probably aren't going to get another blog update for a loooong time.

but the reality is that masa is a different person now than he was in the early 2010s. he started creating music when he was 20 years old, and he's 32 now - that's a huge difference, he's a fully fledged adult now and probably has a lot more things to do and work on than what he used to. that's not even talking about the money aspect! obviously we know next to nothing about his personal life but he either has another job outside of making music or he relies on making these songs to support himself, and neither are conducive to making elaborate PVs or complicated lore (both which i know people revere him for and miss the most). instead he focuses on making the music he wants and PVs that fit his time, which by the way include MUCH higher quality art than in the past. idc what anyone says his anatomy was WAY wonkier back then than it is now.

im rambling, but ig my point is masa's changed, and it's an okay thing. his new EP, INSOMNIA, is really an amazing piece of work and feels kind of like the 'old' masa and i've listened to it many times on repeat, but it's not the same as the masa people became fans of him for. it's okay if you don't like it but i do, and i probably always will. unless he starts making country music or smth ;)

TLDR: i love masa's music even now and understand that his style has become much different than before, and there's many reasons for that.. he holds such a big place in my heart and i will support him thru his endeavors!

#long post #masa works design #vocaloid #ask #IT MAKES ME SO SAD I MISS THE COMMUNITY BUT ALL THE PEOPLE FROM WHEN IT WAS SO LARGE ARE GONE NOW #SOBS #COME BAAAACK

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reireiayanamiz · 3 years ago

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”I think I'm a little bit, a little bit in love with you.”

CWS ; F slur (I can reclaim !) , Homophobia, Implied sexual thoughts ig😢 and a sexual joke at the end

Is it gay to be willing to do anything for your best friend? Klitz wondered, looking up at the ceiling. Everything was a little bit of an understatement, though. More like ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. But not in a gay way.

Atleast he thought so, They've been through a lot together. Such as, kissing, running away from a pissed off buff man and more, probably worse.

They never classified things they did as gay, though. Watching porn together and making out was just dudes being bros, right? Atleast, that's what they say. It's not gay to just be dudes. Every friend has thought of the other in ways that aren't very friend-like..at all, right? right?

Wrong. They both were quite gay, and almost everyone at school knew. Everytime they walk through the halls together, everyone thought the same thing. ‘Oh, look at the two f*gs skipping through the hallway together, smiling.’ Even they thought that, sometimes. It's okay, because they were best friends. Nothing could stop taht.

Besides the tension they both felt around each other. Especially about the fact they both thought about each other in ways they could so easily be called a f*gg*t for. Especially by each other. It was low-key awkward. That's why Eli doesn't turn on porn anymore. Because what if they both get the wrong idea? What if they just made out? There could be so many scenarios in that situation, some good, some bad. In which some, he would not like to elaborate.

“Wanna hang out today?” Klitz asked, calmly. “Sure, man, what do you want to do?” Eli responded. Klitz was tempted to say everything he wanted to, but he wouldn't and couldn't. He wasn't aware of his feelings yet, and didn't want to be like ‘can we make out?’, so he decided to calmly say, “Maybe we can take a walk and play video games.” That’s an answer they both liked.

“Sure, I'm down. Maybe we can kiss? Just kidding. Please don't take that literally.” Eli half-joked. He didn't even mean to say that. Klitz was going all red. ”Oh- I think I might take that literally dude. That sounded very serious.” Eli was no longer laughing. He became slightly red, too. “Ookay then, whatever you wanna do, baby.” That sounded really gay. But, just dudes being bros right? R i g h t?

Wrong. They were both in love.

“I mean, sure. And don't call me that. I'm gonna get all blushy and squealy.”

“I think you're already blushy and squealy baby, but it's okay. I like that.”

Damn.

At this point, they were both ‘blushy and squealy’. It's okay though. They both found that hot.

They were both sweating a bit. “Can we kiss now?” Klitz asked. “Heheh- Did that really work on you? Am I that good at flirting?”

Yes, He was. And he knew it. Klitz nodded. Eli laughed. “Okay, let's kiss now. No homo, by the way.”

“No homo.” That was a lie. But anyways, they leaned into eachother and began to kiss. Klitz really would do anything for this boy. He was head over heels now.

The kiss broke up. They're now realizing, everyone saw that. They were at school. They were all laughing, pointing and talking. All eyes were in them. That was embarrassing. They both looked around frantically and Eli got up, and started running away out of embarrassment.

Klitz just watched in shock. Did he make him uncomfortable? He then on chased after, now catching up and grabbing his shoulder. They were alone now. “Dude, Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No, I made myself uncomfortable by being an absolute mega-f*gg*t. Go ahead and laugh at me.” Eli now said, on the verge of tears.

Klitz didn't laugh. In fact, he grabbed the other’s face and wiped his tears that began to form. “I won't laugh, don't worry. I actually liked that.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.”

“I still feel really embarrassed. Literally everyone was laughing at us.”

“Don't worry about it, baby.” Klitz said, quoting Eli. Trying to make him laugh or atleast be cheered up a little bit.

“Oh, you're calling me baby now?” Eli smiled and moved closer to the other, and began to kiss him.

God knows what happened next. (Just kidding, it was probably nothing. They probably just realized how fruity they were.)

#klitz x eli #eli brooks #klitz the girl next door #klitz #eli x klitz #tim klitz #the girl next door #the girl next door 2004 #gays #how do i write

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cupidsintern · 3 years ago

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shot thru the heart, pt 2

pt 1 here!

Steve shoves Billy's perfect handwriting homework in his binder with his own shitty notes and thinks immediately that it doesn't belong there. Too good. Too Perfect. Too pretty. Like the tails on Billy’s lowercase Gs and Ys- pretty. He thinks of that the whole time he’s copying free responses and trying to change the wording just enough so it sounds different- he just dumbs it down, has to guess at what a couple words mean, Billy writes all intellectual-

But actually Steve sort of feels like he learns something. Sort of feels like he gets it a little better in just the way Billy describes it back to himself. And Billy only did this to be helpful- the extended “I’m really actually sorry” of making sure someone passes at least one of their fucking classes. Steve wonders briefly if Billy would ever like, tutor him or something. Then he shoves that thought right the fuck back where it came from because the pit of what he’s sure is jealousy in his stomach fucking writhes or some shit when he thinks about being around Billy that much. Even just looking at his handwriting…

Steve takes an extra long, extra think-y shower after he finishes his homework.

Steve hands Billy’s work back in the hallway just outside their shared second period. He even waits by the door, a solid two minutes before the bell, leaning against a row of lockers trying not to look at the stupid depression-inducing decor. He’s not-thinking about it so hard that he doesn't notice Billy until he’s right there, close-

“Aw, you waited for me?” Billy says, mock-sweet, taking his work back out of Steve's hands.

Steve recovers from his surprise faster. “You wish.”

“Don’t I ever.” Billy’s already walking into class, sorta mumbles that last part. Steve follows him in.

And they don’t talk for the rest of class- there’s no homework. But Steve can feel like he can sense Billy's presence more again, now. Like before, but somehow worse...

Jealousy is a bitch.

Steve does get the last last homework he turned in back, though. This one also copied from Billy, and-

B-. improving! Is written at the top of the page. Great, Steve’s improving. Just in time for fucking spring semester of his senior year. And the improvement isn't even his it’s-

The bell rings. Billy’s up and out of his desk so fast his backpack clips the edge of the adjacent desk as he slings it ever so casually over his left shoulder. Everytime, he's so fast. Like he can’t be in any one place too long- like a shark.

That's a thing right? Steve thinks. Sharks. They have to keep swimming or they like, die or something.

Steve realizes he’s just been staring at the door Billy walked out of several moments ago and he blinks. Shakes his head a little, he’s spacing out too much.

Then he looks down.

A sheet of note paper lays face up on the floor next to him. W Hargrove in its top right corner- more notes.

Steve grabs the sheet of paper off the floor and shoves it into his backpack, before he even really has time to think about what he’s doing, why he’s doing it- burning hot something in the deepest pit of his stomach it’s jealousy it has to be- before getting up and walking out of class.

So why did Steve take Billy’s notes? Why, to give them back of course.

Billy probably needs it back, this half finished sheet of chemistry bullshit from- jesus from October?

Okay, well if Billy doesn't need it back, maybe Steve can just. Keep it. Keep it and stare at it and hate every single one of those perfectly lined up conversion equations that he remembers not understanding at all. Billy must be in honors classes, too, because some of it Steve doesn't remember. He spends way too much time looking at it when he gets home, sits down at his desk, ignores every fucking thing else in his backpack and pulls just the sheet out.

W Hargrove

10/20/84

The W is so even. It makes Steve’s blood boil. And all the slashes are perfectly parallel- Steve traces his finger under the numbers. He sets his hand on the paper, as if he were holding a phantom pencil, thinks how a past version of Billy traced his hand over this paper just the same way when he took these notes. Steve wasn't sure if he could remember Billy being a lefty or a righty, but he was so smart…

Steve took his hand off the paper suddenly, like it had burned him. Something… didn't sit right.

He folded the paper in half once and slid it back into his binder- more carefully than before- and switching to attempting to finish his homework.

Billy was a lefty. But technically he was a. Am. Ambiv- nope. The thing! Where you can switch hands. It’s- Ambidextrous? Yes. That.

Steve congratulated himself a little for remembering the word, then went back to completely spacing out thinking he could hear the sound of Billy's pencil scratching across his notebook behind Steve in class.

He did not pay attention at all, the whole day, the warm red feeling making his skin tingle and his feet itch like he had to walk somewhere. He got up to use the bathroom twice in the same class period, which the teacher wasn't too happy about, but whatever. Fuck her. She didn't have to sit in front of Billy and look at his perfect notes every time he found himself looking over his shoulder to check the time.

“What’s got you tweaking?” Billy’s voice snaps Steve out of his trance.

“What?” Steve looks over his shoulder again, this time directly at Billy, who's looking directly back at him, which makes him feel like his brain got left out in the sun.

“Tah-week-ing.” Billy says again, slower like he’s letting Steve catch up, stupid Californian drawl.

“Oh just. Uh. Just nervous.”

“Test isn’t for another two weeks, pretty boy.”

The warm feeling is back in full force, Steve thinks it must be because of how calm and collected Billy sounds, like he couldn't care less about the test. “Not all of us can be geniuses, okay?”

Billy laughs a little- it’s pretty, softer. Steve hates it. “Bold words from someone copying my homework.”

Steve frowns a little, he can’t help it, makes to turn back around but Billy catches his shoulder-

“Hey,” Billy starts, hesitates like he’s thinking about something

Warm turns to hot, Steve’s sweating and he’s only in a windbreaker.

“If you need like. Serious help with classwork, you could always borrow my notes.”

Steve blinks. It’s a lot nicer of an offer than just letting someone copy off you. A lot nicer than Billy usually is to him. Less of an apology, more of, like, an invitation.

Is Billy trying to be his friend?

“I,” Steve starts “Might take you up on that-”

The teacher shushes both of them. Steve turns back to sitting, facing the front.

God, is he jealous of Billy being able to be nice?

-> pt 3

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove fanfic #steve x billy #billy x steve #my fic

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darrowsrising · 3 years ago

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Virginia herself said she didn’t fully understand her feelings towards Cassius. What’s your take on how they feel about each other?

Hi! Thank you for your ask!

I have answered this previously, but tumblr sucks at finding my own posts, so...I will add some unasked for spicy opinions just for you.

I think people take what Virginia said way out of context. I mean, sure, it's vague enough, but it's very...delusional to think that this means she is somehow in love with him or has romantic feelings towards him that have gone unadressed.

Her main emotion towards Cassius in the past was guilt. She used him and she felt bad about it, because he didn't deserve it - which for me is still debatable, but I regress. Then, in MS, all the guilt ran out the window - she had bigger things on the plate to worry/care about and it's understandable, because who the fuck does he think he even is, right?

Now, given that we know they had some sort of discussion in MS that was supposed to bring some closure, Virginia has mixed feelings about him - hence why she has trouble understanding exactly what she feels about him. It's a bit complicated - he is not a friend and he is not an enemy, she wishes him the best, but she hasn't really been thinking about him for the last decade.

Idk, it's hard for me to look at what Virginia did on Luna and think 'that makes her morally grey/dark', because she could have done way worse. This wasn't right by any means, but it's quite the hair-pulling to tell me what she did was characteristically Gold evilness.

Anyway, back to Virginia's current feelings about Cassius - she's not ill-willing towards him as she was in MS when they were enemies, she seems to bear no hard feelings at all. It's just that she's not considering him family or that much of a friend. I don't really think she's harbouring that guilt either, it seems like that discussion in MS brought her more closure than it did him.

Anyway, it's complicated, but romantic? Neah. I get that people like cheap drama - some built a bussiness empire with that shit - but no, it's not forshadowing for them getting together after Darrow dies to save the worlds.

As for Cassius - idk, we'll have to see. I think tgat the fandom focused a bit too much on what Lysander witnessed some 10 years ago as Virginia's wedding took place and forgot that...it's been quite some time from then and maybe Cassius has moved on. I need a bit of conversation between these two, though just to get a bit into their heads. I don't think they will ever be friends, to be honest, but I think they can have a sort of bond - Sovereign-Knight.

About GS, I think that Pierce wrote her arc like that to show that she's in fact a bit on the edge - she had yet to make a proper choice about her stance on many issues. Darrow had to bring it all in her face to see what is actually going on - both with Octavia and with the Rising.

But I think she should have done a bit more to be considered morally grey. Using Cassius is hardly the most grey thing ever, unlike what most would tell you. Like, I get that Pierce wanted me to like or sympathize with Cassius at that time, but it's just too...little. Idk what word to use, it's just this whole 'Virginia uses Cassius' feeling to help her own family' being this 'she is doing what every respectable Gold would do, which means its wrong so she's feeling so guilty about it'. I think it's a bit of a hair-pull. It's not right by any means to use someone's feelings for one own's ends, but we know Gammas with far more cold-hearted deeds.

It's also pretty hard to be all 'poor Cassius' when he doesn't respect the person he claims he loves, given that he brags about owning her and taunts her ex with their sex life which should be a private thing - I sincerely doubt that Virginia allowed him or is ok with him doing that, so this idea that he had this sweet, saintly love towards her is questionable.

Also, the idea that we are supposed to forgive those things given that Virginia is using him and she's more preoccupied with her own guilt than those stupid schoolyard tactics anyway, is bullshit to me. Yes, Cassius is traumatized and is grieving his twin and Virginia used his vulnerability to her advantage, but that does not excuse his behaviour. Also, it wasn't trauma speaking when he basically said that Pinks can't be r*p*d, it was his privileged stupid arse.

In MS, that's when morally grey was actually better handled. Trying anything to stay afloat and not lose and also suggesting torturing enemies for information were way better topics in my opinion.

Anyway, if you reached here, thank you for reading it all!

Howl on!

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void-galaxy-shenanigans · 3 years ago

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((*Note we are/our body is diagnosed with Combined Type ADHD, & our therapist suggested autism is comorbid, which we suspect we do actually have based on conversations with the autistic community & research (peer reviewed articles + the old diagnostic test (RASSD-R? RAASD-R? Something like that - some of y'all probably know what I'm referring too. I think we got a 205?)). Relevant to what this is about.

Also I use “™” (trademark symbol) to indicate “this is one section/thing” & “this is a ✨vibe✨” so that's what those mean))

---

Us for the past week or two (especially before work): Well, if ADHD meds are just stimulants, and caffeine is a stimulant, I can basically use coffee to self-medicate without worrying about unknown side effects (since I already know how caffeine affects the human body & how it affects us).

Us at work on caffeine, unmasked: *some tics (especially when tired/stressed), The Cups Must Be Arranged In This Pattern Or I Will Cry™ (portion cups for dips, we work in fast food), Sensory Overload Says Hi™, That Beeping Pitch Is Making Me Want To Rip My Skin Off™ (timers; angry fridge door got left open), Sauce Got On My Hands, Bad Texture, Get It Off™ (lots of extra hand washing), can't make eye contact to save our life (/mild exaggeration), Please Don't Touch Me™/avoiding contact, hyperfocused zooms, gets 2x to 3x normal work done like it's nothing, small head shakes (as if saying no) are soothing, going nonverbal every hour or two from Overstimulated™ because the beeps don't stop & having to type into a document on phone to communicate, Auditory Processing delays, Visual Processing delays, This Face Mask Is Grabbing My Face, Bad Texture, Make It Go Away™, can function without music but feel awkward & processing delays are worse without music, Words Are Difficult™ + Entire Dictionary Vanished & Everyone Is Speaking Simlish, I Understand Nothing™, collapse to the concrete shaking & immediate meltdown or shutdown as soon as work is over, lay in bed Too Overstimulated To Move/Exist™ for 2 to 4 hours as soon as we get home because need to recover*

Us at work on caffeine, masking: *dissociation, losing time, very long audio processing, everything gets internalized & shoved down, quiet/distant thoughts swirling, very dizzy*

Us this morning (before work): Yea no I don't feel like drinking coffee today.

Us at work (leading into after work), unmasked: *constant inner monologue, both narrating what we're doing & thinking about how the way we're doing it screams ‘I'm ADHD’, more intense & frequent tics (hard head shake, shaking hand off like it has something on it), need music to not zone out/get Choice Paralysis, more shaky hands, thoughts go zoom, losing large chunks of time, rearranging the pattern of portion cups literally every time we put another set out to fill because Too Similar Is Too Boring™, every little bit of movement draws attention & Must Look™ (cars, people walking, flashing lights, clocks), ✨S H I N Y, Must Look 😍™✨ (one of our favourite visual sensory things is silver &/or gold/bronze shiny metal), That Person Is Wearing A Business Suit To The Dentist, That's Odd, ¿Did They Just Leave Work? (& similar unhelpful distraction thoughts)™, Go Go GO/Must Move™, Pace Back And Forth Is Soothing™, Tap Fingers On The Keyboard™ stim (move fingers as if playing piano, but just tapping palm/other fingers/air), “EEEE” constantly in head, very awkward eye contact (Too Intimate™), immediate full body shakedown after work (5 hour shift) because ✨Need To✨™, goes for a walk immediately after work because Too Much Energy, Need To Move™ & Understimulated™, replacing words with other words that don't make sense or make little sense (e.g. “that's not what I was trying to make” instead of “that's not what I was trying to open”), people's voices are speaking so slow they sound far off & processing is difficult, Please Talk Faster™, Very Very.Easily Distracted™ (planned to do some self-care an hour ago, planned to read today 3 hours ago, but ✨Nope✨ Tumblr & distractions are too interesting)*

Us at work, unmedicated & masked: *inner monologue/brain background noise: “Old McDonald had a farm, and Bingo was his name-oh. B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name-oh.” into the Jeopardy theme (doo doo doo do-do, doo doo doo), into the McDonald's jingle (“buh dah buh dah dah, I'm lovin it”); shaky hands, clumsy as heck, bouncing on toes, wiggling toes; humming to self, quiet whistling, hidden fidget cube in pocket quiet clicks*

Us: ...

Us: ...Well. Now that we've been medicated awhile I notice how much ADHD actually affects us because this is different. 😶

---

There's noticably different feelings, experiences, traits that we now notice. We've never medicated our ADHD before because didn't want pharmaceutical dr~gs, so we honestly couldn't tell what would be affected by meds or not (always dealing with ADHD on a daily basis). Being ✨medicated✨ showed us what was definitely ADHD & what probably wasn't, because we got used to not dealing as much with ADHD stuff & then today was all the ADHD things &....oh. ¿What we thought was Just/Still ADHD™ even though we were basically medicated was actually autism? 😶

Disclaimer that not every ADHDer will experience all of these & they may experience things we don't, & not every autistic person experiences all these things & they may experience things we don't. We aren't The Golden Standard™ for ADHD, autism, comorbid ADHD & autism, or neurodivergence. Also, some of these may be overlap as well, they’re not exclusive to ADHD or autism.

So....that's how our day went 😅. We weren't planning to be unmedicated with intent to see the difference, just didn't because too lazy to make coffee &...yea. apparently they //are// different, in ways we didn't predict/expect.

~Nico (he/they)

#medicated ADHD #ADHD #medicated #actually ADHD #actually neurodivergent #actually autistic #autistic #masking #meds #ADHD or autism #adhd adult #ADHD combined type #neurodivergent #actually adhd #self discovery #self diagnosis #self diagnosed autism #diagnosed ADHD

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kaypeace21 · 4 years ago

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DID theory part 3: St novels/comics/spotify list analyses

*read part 2 of DID theory-first! You’ll be lost otherwise, seriously XD. First, I’ll say -I find the ST comics/ books as canon as the st movie inspirations . I don’t consider the books/comics ‘literal canon’ (cause they contradict the show ( like Max and billy meeting a year before s2 in runaway max - but meeting as little kids in s3, or El’s age being wrong in suspicious minds, in the d&D comic Will’s friends instead of him /Jonathan building castle byers, etc) .

So I think we shouldn’t take it literally - but more like the st movie lists - filled with foreshadowing/symbolism and other eastereggs (That the Duffers may have told them to add). So here’s some more (possible) alter / DID hints...

‘Suspicious minds’ novel

- Brenner equates k*lling rabbits to h*rting kids. And he’ll hurt (kid) Kali (the bunny in the analogy) if Terry tries running away from him . I wonder if Lonnie used a similar threat against jonathan? Jon could be giving only a partial truth to why he cried for a week (about the bunny story)?

-Kali “hops” like a bunny then talks about tigers obsessively (linking her to rabbits/tigers similar to the other alters/Will/Lonnie). Terry also imagines tigers and kali says to Alice they can all be tigers together.

- one of the only male psychic experiments (who can see the future) is gay

- Terry is into lord of the rings, like Will. Has her and her boyfriend dress as sam & frodo (m/m ship). Terry calls her and her friends “the fellowship”.

-when Terry/Alice were injected with d**gs -they hallucinated rainbows.yikes.

- Alice (like Lonnie) is a car mechanic. She can see the future like Will the wise and says “monsters of course my mind has them as long as they stayed in there, everything would be alright? Wouldn’t it?” (in her visions she saw the demogorgan).

(completed) graphic ST novels (by Jody Hozer) so far (+ other st comics).

*Jody Hozer writes all the graphic novels (every novel is 4 chapters each) - the will byers comic, number 6 comic , into the fire comic, and at the moment she’s writing the d&d series and the summer camp series (which isn’t done yet). Then there’s the occasional 1 chapter st comics not written by her.

- Number 6 has (the ability to foresee the future like Will the wise/Alice) and has an ab*sive dad.

When having a nightmare of the demogorgan ...she says as she wakes up “screw you dad” (another hint the demogrgan -aka in d&d means ‘deep father’ ...is Lonnie).

- when number 6 and others run they say they’re’ “rabbiting”(which yes technically makes sense but I found such an uncommon phrase odd.)

- The (summer camp and d&d graphic novels aren’t completed yet) but they establish d&d creatures are based off real life people the boys don’t like in real life. Or that d&d is used as an outlet to explain true events from their pasts -but they just give the true stories a d&d fantasy slant.

- Which brings me to the halloween oneshot(not by Hozer),taking place before s1. Will tells a scary story told to him by Jonathan, and originally told to him by Lonnie. Says the boys have to keep it a secret cause it was something he was never supposed to tell to anyone. Mike says he has to finish the story he started. It’s about a “ch*lld-eater” monster first attacking a boy near the quarry (like where Will was found) and attacking kids in a library (where Will was also found in s1).When the child sees the sheriff she bangs on the library door begging for help-he ignores her , walks away, and tells the other cops to never speak of what they saw as she screams for help. Because the previous sheriff was in kahoots with the monster. It def had some ... uh questionable imagery too 0_0

The vine in the mouth is also like the one in Will’s mouth (when Joyce found him in the library).And of course Dustin asks whether or not something like that could be covered up.

- In the “bully comic” (about troy) also not by Jody. We focus on Troy and his ab*sive dad (who encourages him to fight/ditch his best friend). The dad has a drinking problem (gets fired), calls Troy a “mess” , pushes him, and constantly encourages Troy to be vi*lent/macho. He pretty much tries sabotaging the relationship Troy has with his friend (which I could see Lonnie doing in the future with byler).The dad/troy is framed similarly to when Billy gives Max a ride home- after both ab*sers give bad advice saying not to hang out with their friend (after witnessing them fight in the school parking lot). Dad also laughs about almost k*lling a squirrel (a trait we see troy mimic)- and we see El feel guilty about k*lling a squirrel in s2. At the end of the comic- Troy (like Will) after making up with his bff james- moves leaving his best friend behind.

- (into the fire) Twins: (one was normal with no powers living in the real world and the twin with fire powers is trapped in a dark sunless “cold” world styled like a psych facility/medieval fantasy) . pics in link.She hated her reflection cause it reminded her of being betrayed by her normal non powered twin who left her behind in the ‘cold’ place. She’d call herself a ‘hunter’ who would defend herself and attack others to never be hurt again. Her powers being unleashed were described like opening “a door.” And she loves her twin deep down and just wants friends . And fire twin goes to the “other side” to reunite with her reflection and find happiness in the real world. *also there’s sunflower/bunny symbols which she lights on fire-which can relate back to Will/Terry/Lonnie etc. The twins = Will & Will the wise (mf)

Mirrors also connect to Will and Will the wise via the canon spotify playlists too.

Will playlist (song: mirror in the bathroom)-Mirror in the bathroom Please talk free.The door is locked -Just you and me.Mirror in the bathroom recompense for all my crimes of self defense.Cures you whisper make no sense!Drift gently into Mental illness.

Demogorgan playlist ( from perspective of Will the wise aka the mf) (song: are you dead yet? )-”polluted soul through a mirror I behold.Throw a punch, shards bleed on the floor. tearing me apart. but I don't care anymore.Should I regret or ask myself are you dead yet?Wake up, don't cry. Regenerate to deny the truth. The fiction you live in blindfolds your eyes. Disclosure, self loathing, this time you've gone too far.Or could it be, my nemesis, that you are me?

(*st ‘into the fire’ comic. the fire powered twin’s thoughts echo the song)

*I think this foreshadows the later plot points of mf (will the wise ) and Will interacting via mirrors. The fire-wielding twin and the non powered twin had a lot of mirror imagery. Including the fire powered twin (Who denies reality/and imagines herself in a fantasy world) punching her reflection because it reminds her of her non-powered twin. Here’s some cover art from the novels showing how much they emphasize mirrors.

*And in s4 movies Black swan - “the black and white swan twins (two halves of the same person-Nina)” had creepy mirror imagery. In long kiss goodnight the women with DID talks to her “ (supposed)dark 1/2″ via a mirror (in a dream). in ‘the visit’ the teen girl who’s dad abandoned her when young- refuses to look in the mirror (and it’s never explained why she hates her reflection). So yes I think we’ll see this in s4 or 5. We already see the mf take on the appearance of Billy when talking to him.

- Will in “zombie boy” comic is afraid he’s a monster.

also lets appreciate the lil byler moment of Mike and Will being the only zombies and mike comforting him. honestly , though, the characters were pretty out of character for most of this 1 ch comic (until the end) tbh.

- in the “d&d comic” mf is (possibly) described as a “protector” (aka like how i said the mf is probably a perpetrator alter- which are misguided protectors).

*update now that it’s finished... hinting Will created everything subconsciously.

‘Runaway Max’ novel (before s3)

(I didn’t get time to read this book unlike ‘suspicious minds’ -so can’t show screen shots of everything others talked about. May read it eventually)

-Max compares Billy to ‘her monster’ and a ‘shadow’ that will attack anyone that comes close (mf parallel).

- Dart k*lled a cat, El’s papa tried to force her to k*ll a cat. And Billy when seeing a d*ad cat lights it on fire for a “viking funeral”. A connection to WW (who has fire powers) and El & dart.

-Max and Billy both are into cars and bond over fixing them (similar to Lonnie’s interest in fixing up cars). And since Lonnie tried to brag to Jonathan about fixing a car up and Will is into tech it wouldn’t be a stretch that Lonnie and Will were into fixing cars together (like Max/billy who would hang out at a autoshop in Cali) . Similar to Will ,max says hanging with Billy wasn’t always so bad- which made things more confusing to her.

- Max compares Billy being beat up by Neil: to ‘punching a pocket of a baseball glove’. This is interesting since this book was pre-s3 which was when they established the connection of billy and his dad to baseball (similar to s1 saying Lonnie taught Will baseball).

-Billy’s friend is a nice ‘music snob’ . He tries distracting Max with music while Billy is burning the cat. Which reminds me of Jonathan trying to distract Will from their parents fighting in the next room-with music

- Max’s bio dad is a criminal who takes her to shady bars, and Max fears he’d ‘get bored of her’. Max also ran away from her mom to her dad’s 2x.Which reminds me of Jonathan thinking Will ran to Lonnie’s in s1.

-Max mentions how Billy misses his friends after moving out of Cali. And he starts acting even worse-after the move. Which will probably be the case for Will (at least a bit) when moving to California.

-Billy tells Max Neil isn’t his ‘real dad’ either because Neil can’t be a father to anyone.

-Billy also tells Max who (at the time ) is 12 years old not to act “easy” and breaks her best friend’s (Nate’s) arm over someone joking he was Max’s boyfriend and also cause Nate tried to get in between Billy bullying Max. Eventually all her Cali friends ditch her cause they’re afraid of Billy.And Ugh- why could I see Lonnie doing something like this in the future with Will/his new friends.

- Creepily Max says Billy doesn’t fool around with her like other girls not because of her age or being family. But cause she wasn’t ‘attractive’. This whole excerpt gave me the heeby jeebies,on so many levels, honestly. Almost like he’s jealous- and controlling her cause he doesn’t want Max to have any love interests. Maybe i’m just missing the context? But ugh... excerpt:

Will byers secret Files

-Hopper gets scared by a pumpkin-scarecrow. And in Will’s canon journal when talking about the mindflayer and his nightmares draws the same scare-crow , Hopper saw. There’s also a lot of s4-5 foreshadowing in the book... but that’s a post for another day.

Darkness on the edge of town (Hopper novel)

*didn’t get time to read this (except the preview)

I think it’s more foreshadowing for future seasons though- cult/supposed ritual k*llings, people being wrongly blamed for those crimes-like the hellfire club , most likely. (similar to the guy number 3 in the number 6 comic) saint john in the novel also has the same brain control powers as 3- similar to the mf. .” When a blackout plunges the boroughs into chaos, Hopper must escape the the mobs in the streets to make sure his family is safe and stop Saint John from fulfilling his prophecy.” I already talked about here- how the next few seasons would start having more religious symbolism/a future apocalypse (based on what we’ve seen in the show/s4 movies). Although, i think there’s quite a few differences between (the novel’s) saint john and Will the wise. Hopper is also a star wars nerd like the boys (alter hint)

Canon spotify songs (posted after s2/before s3) hinting at DID/ alter /lonnie stuff-

Will and Will the wise (aka the mf) being an alter

*Used Will and the demogorgan playlist (which i think has perspectives of Will the wise aka the mf, demogorgan, and Lonnie).

Besides the mirror songs previously mentioned...

Will (cold inside)-Doctor the problem's in my chest.My heart feels cold as ice but it's anybody's guess?Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?Better make it fast before I change my mind. Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?Better make it fast before I change my mindWell it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside. Darker in the day than the dead of night Cold, cold, cold, cold inside...Counselor give me some advice Tell me how hard will I fall if I live a double life?

El (ghost)-your ghost, the ghost of you.It keeps me awake.My friends had you figured out.Yeah they saw what's inside of you. You tried hiding another you.But your evil was coming through... living in the shade Your cold heart makes my spirit shake.

El (monster Lead me home)-I don't know what, what I was afraid of, I was afraid oooof...Monster take me somewhere...We walk in shadow.Monster lead me home.Where there is no place to hide.Stranger on the other side We walk in shadow.Monster lead me home.

The’ innerworld’/ other hints Max, El, Hopper, and Billy are alters of Will’s

Max (Logical song)-I know it sounds absurd. Please tell me who I am, who I am, who I am, who I am?

EL(Buzzcut season)-I remember when your head caught flame It kissed your scalp and caressed your brain ...nothing's wrong when nothing's true. I live in a hologram with you Where all the things that we do for fun . Play along (make-believe it's hyper real) But I live in a hologram with you.

Billy (broken bones)-Broken bones.Stay alone. If I see only what I believe -reality's bound by what I conceive

Max (Why can’t i touch it)-Well, it seems so real.I can see it.And it seems so real-I can feel it.And it seems so real-I can taste it.And it seems so real-I can hear it.So why can't I touch it?

Hopper (breakers)-Just to keep me from losing my mind .It's so easy to drown in the dream.Oh, and everything is not what it seems This life is but a dream.Shatter illusions that hold your spirit down ...From the inside, so it seems.Oh, I'm telling you it's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a It's all a dream.”

Max (comfortably numb)-When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye.I turned to look but it was gone.I cannot put my finger on it now.The child is grown.The dream is gone.I have become comfortably numb.

Max (Kids aren’t alright)-Still it's hard Hard to see Fragile lives, shattered dreams...What the hell is going on? The cruelest dream, reality.

El(team)-Livin' in ruins of a palace within my dreams. And you know we're on each other's team

Hopper (denial twist) ( just change ‘she’ to ‘he’)-Just because she makes you feel wrong she don't mean to be mean or hurt you on purpose, boy!Take a tip and do yourself a little service...by playing a different role Ya, by playing a different role, oh.The boat ya you know she's rockin' it.And the truth well ya know there's no stoppin' it.So what, somebody left you in a rut and wants to be the one who's in control.But the feeling that you're under can really make you wonder.How the hell she can be so cold?So now you're mad, denying the truth.And it's getting in the wisdom in the back of your tooth

El (the story)-You see the smile that's on my mouth.It's hiding the words that don't come out.And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed.They don't know my head is a mess.No they don't know who I really am.And they don't know what I've been through

El (hero) ( pretty much alludes to El being a construct of Will’s mind similar to his juju zombies in the d&d story he wrote )-Who knows what you'll find when you look inside (billy’s mind)?Haunted beach (billy flashback), roll the dice.The zombies in the corner aren't amused (d&d ref).Play the part of the blushing bride...Out of view, cloaked by night...My spirit dims, but I feel the force"No longer in my hands," (loses powers) .I say to you .I could've been a hero, I could've been a zero.Could've been all these thingsI could've been nothing, I could've had something.Could've been all these things.And if I am unable, tell him that I'll try but underneath the table will spin the wheel and hope for gold. Oh, and where it stops, nobody knows.

Max (it’s real)-I don't know who's behind the wheel.Sometimes I feel like I don't know The deal.But when I tell you how I feel-Believe me when I say It's real.I skated on a frozen Sea.It's real as far as I Can see?

Max (Halloween)-Because your role is planned for you there's nothing you can do.

El (White rabbit... alice and wonderland/lonnie ref)-And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall...When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.

demogrogan(Dimensions of horror)-Gaze upon the ancient face you dread (lonnie)... Passing through the doors, into Dimensions Of Horror. Haunting visions from the past, rise once more.Realms of darkness, terror, death and gore.Scream in fear, your sanity is lost

demogorgan (SCHORCHED)-Terrorizing madness. Vivid dreams. internal. Hallucinating the unknown. Abstract entities prey.Through superhuman abilities.Fragments of memory erased.

demogrogan (Calling from a dream)-the shadow king...seven spirits (7 ref) Swarming around his head.Close your eyes.Listen to my call. Our bond will bring us together again.I will wait for you. For our hearts still beat as one.Listen to my calling from a dream. (integration?)

Maybe a coincidence or a hint at Will having both male &female alters?Billy (dude looks like a lady)- What a funky lady...Oh, he was a lady.Dude looks like a lady. Hopper (turn the page)-All the same old cliches,"Is that a woman or a man?" Max ( rebel rebel) (this was on her her pre s3 spotify list + post s3 “wrapped list”)- you got your mother in a whirl, doesn’t know if you’re a boy or girl?

SHIT DAD/ AB*SIVE FAMILY

*trigger w*rning ahead for dark themes like s**ual ab*se

demogorgan (my children)My children I never loved them.Why feel that way when their existence is my business?My children...feral vessals of my selfinterest...So don't lean on me man 'Cause I ain't got nothing to give.Don't lean on me man 'Cause I ain't got nothing to give.My children they're right behind you My children they're gonna beat you.My children if you let them Oh, oh, my children.

demogorgan (black dahlia-window): I’m not quoting the lyrics you can just look it up. it’s messed up.Based on the 1st person pov of Gilles de Rais -k**ler and p*d*rest who also kidnapped a cleric.

Will (creature comfort)-Some boys hate themselves.Spend their lives resenting their fathers... hate their bodies .Stand in the mirror (another mirror ref) and wait for the feedback.Some boys get too much, too much love, too much touch.

Jonathan’s Playlist- We’re happy family: “Eating refried beans (poverty). Gulpin’ down Thorazines (pills for a mood disorder). We ain’t got no friends (s2 ref). Our troubles never end. Daddy likes men. Daddy’s telling LIES.”

Jonathan’s playlist-Enter sandman: “Don’t forget my son. Sleep with one eye open. Gripping your pillow tight, Exit light, Enter night. Take my hand, we’re off to never-never land. Something’s wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight. Dreams of LIARS and of things that will bite, yeah. Hush little baby don’t say a word, and never mind that noise you heard. It’s just the beasts under your bed, in your closet in your head.”

Jonathan (The killing moon-guy sings this)-So soon you'll take me up in your arms. Too late to beg you or cancel it. Against your will!He will wait until you give yourself to him...In starlit nights I saw you.So cruelly you kissed me... unwillingly mine.

jonathan (haunted)-You and I both know that the house is haunted And you and I both know that the ghost is me. You used to catch me in your bed-sheets just a-rattling your chains.Well back then , it didn't seem so strange...In the midnight hour..I was busy trying to charm that snake. When the sun came up we had no place to hide...You and I both know that the house is haunted yeah you and I both know that the ghost is YOU! You used to walk around screaming, all slamming all 'dem doors Well I'm all grown up now and I don't scare easy no more But you and I both know.

Hopper (Confession)-Now I'm on the low Confession, to a virgin ghost Admission, force you know.

hopper (Tomorrow ) Yeah, and back when s*x and amph*tamines were the staples of our childhood physique.

Max (Last caress)-I got something to say.I k**led your baby today.And it doesn't matter much to me.As long as it's de*d.Well I got something to say.I r*ped your mother today.And it doesn't matter much to me.As long as she spread. (Lonnie pov? Neil?messed up song to be on Max’s list)

hopper House of the rising sun- And my father was a gamblin' man Way down in New Orleans... And the only time he's satisfied Is when he's on a drunk

Max Poor relations-An attitude, no patience, he's paper thin.Talking over everything you have to say...Don't correct the things he said, what's the use?Can't handle violence.Can't handle violence.Learning to love the abuse you can't live without.Your familiar oppression, your daily injustice...That loser man that belongs to you, he's ruling you.

el (sweet dreams are made of this)- Some of them want to use you ...Some of them want to ab*se you.Sweet dreams are made of this...Hold your head up.Keep your head up, movin' on.

Max (Alternative ulster)-They say they're a part of you.And that's not true, you know.They say they've got control of you.And that's a lie, you know.They say you will never Be free, free, free

max In bloom-”Sometimes at night I let it get to me.And last night it had me down and feeling NUMB...And thinking back upon those days Way way back when I was young.I was such a little shit.Cos I was always on the run.Well you know just what they say-Just like father then like son.Don't delude me with your sympathy.Cos I can do this on my own.And this will be the last time-That I break down and wanna crawl to bed. “(since Billy has a playlist I found this song choice being on hers instead of his interesting- in fact almost all of Max’s songs are from the 1st person perspective of a boy unlike the other gals.)

Max (comfortably numb)-The child is grown.The dream is gone.I have become comfortably NUMB.

hopper (numb)-Honey, here I go again Down that crooked road of sin.My momma locked me out again And hung me high to rust under the rain I am NUMB( 8x)....Little bluebird at my window Sing a pretty song for me Don't you know that you can fly, fly, fly away Don't you know that you can leave I am numb.

other psych songs

Hopper (life of sin)-Every morning when I rise I look in the mirror (another mirror ref) and despise the sight of everything and all that I've become. The level of my medicating some might find intimidating But that's alright cause' it don't bother me none.

Max (Moon over marin)- “Dive in my scalding wooden tub (connects to mf/el)...There, wasn't that a nice visit?Don't forget, a psychiatrist is on duty twenty-four hours a day in the blue room...Drink plenty of water when you take these.Now you can relax.” ( I wonder if stranger writers saying to “drink plenty of water” is secretly a line said by a psych person in s4?)

Max (Feeling ok)-My doctor says that I should take it -At least I won't have to keep faking.I know, someday I'll find it-Where I, I least expect it.Today I know I feel ok.

Max ( Going gets tough)-.No home since the fire.Me and the ash can't settle down...So I sink another round-Placebo for pain.And there's no one for to blame . I refuse to accept-That my work is all in vain...Still always remembering .When the going gets tough .That the labor of our love-Will reward us soon enough.

Max (Comfortably numb)-Hello? (Hello? Hello? Hello?)Is there anybody in there?Just nod if you can hear me.Is there anyone home?Come on now-I hear you're feeling down.Well I can ease your pain .Get you on your feet again.Relax // Now I've got that feeling once again.I can't explain . you would not understand.This is not how I am. I have become comfortably numb.I have become comfortably numb //Okay (okay, okay, okay)Just a little pinprick.There'll be no more, ah .But you may feel a little sick.Can you stand up?I do believe it's working, good.That'll keep you going through the show.Come on it's time to go// Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.

Explanations of Why the mf (WIll the wise)behaves the way he does

demogorgan (ww) (Cowards starved)- friends think of me as a priest.I had to show them that the weakest hands Can still make impressive fires. (aka MF = will the wise)

demogorgan (ww) (Unmerciful):I will be reborn...Tranquil demeanor.Now devoured.Surfacing malice...I can't reconcile the torment others bring unto me.I will not take any reproach.Turning the other cheek.Relentless hatred consumes.Control released.Absolved of all compassion.I am free .Look into my hate filled eyes and tell me What do you see?Surging aura of my rage Paralyzing you in fear.

Demogorgan (ww) (bodies-Beaten why for (why for)?Can't take much more.(Here we go, here we go, here we go).One, nothing wrong with me,Two, nothing wrong with me.Three, nothing wrong with me.Four, nothing wrong with me.One, something's got to give.Two, something's got to give.Three, something's got to give now...You're all by yourself but you're not alone...Driven by hate consumed by fear.

demogrgan (ww)-Orbs used as transmitters carry electromagnetic beams from above (affecting magnetic fields in the show).Silence, manipulated, tortured ...How immune is your system of suffering?Its in the blood of suffering (familial ref).Its in the blood.

Demogrgan (Monster)-I shoot the lights out..Whoa, just another lonely night...None of who you get it, ain't nobody cold as this.A zombie (will ref) with no conscience .Everybody knows I'm a motherfucking monster. Everybody wanna know what my Achilles' heel is? Love I don't get enough of it.

#stranger things #will byers #stranger things comics #did theory

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pop-goes-the-sneasel · 4 years ago

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misdreavus?

YESSSSSSSS MISDREAVUS!!!!!

Misdreavus is an absolute favourite of mine, and the pre-evolution of my current #1 favourite pokemon overall. It’s a pokemon I’ve got a long history of adoring at this point, and is also the first Ghost-type I’m reviewing, which happens to be my favourite type as well. I wasn’t actually all that fond of it as a child, though, because child me had trash taste, but it’s not atypical for kids to have trash taste so whatever. I love it now and that’s what matters!!! This cute lil spookster is gonna be gettin’ pure praise from me! It’s got a great colour scheme, great hair, and an expression that exudes the sort of chill-yet-mischievous vibes I love most in a pokemon.

Basis-wise, Misdreavus is probably the most “traditional” ghost, albeit with a bit of banshee mixed in with its title of Screech Pokemon and its propensity for startling people. It has a clear resemblance to a floating disembodied head as well, perhaps indicating an additional basis in the youkai nukekubi, a human-like being whose head can detach and fly around at night. It uses its necklace-like red orbs to absorb fearful emotions from people, which it converts into nourishment, effectively eating fear. Eating fear is a concept I’m sure I’ve seen before, but it’s a great concept for a ghost especially, since it provides an incentive for scaring people and justifies so much otherwise-baseless ghostly behaviour! Like, of course a ghost would be scary, if that’s how it eats!

The scariest thing Misdreavus can do, though, is my absolute favourite attack! Perish Song is a move that makes it so both the user and all pokemon present to hear it will spontaneously faint in three turns. The only way to avoid it is by switching out, which led to it being paired with a move that prevents switching, Mean Look. This strategy, known as Perish Trapping, was somewhat notorious in Gen II’s competitive scene and has occasionally seen fringe use since, with Misdreavus being the strategy’s best user when the technique first emerged.

As marvelous as Misdreavus is, though, its design actually took a fair bit of time to actually finalize. We know from the GS beta releases that Misdreavus was a very late addition to the games, absent from the 1997 beta and then added to the 1999 version in Norowara’s slot (a creepy doll made of straw). Its sprite was also somewhat unfinished-feeling even in the final game, with very inaccurate indigo and magenta colors. What’s really interesting, though, is that its original artwork seems intended to communicate something entirely different from what we ended up with: iridescence. Notice here how the pink bits aren’t uniformly distributed at the hair tips; they’re placed seemingly randomly. The anime was quick to simplify this to just the tips, but Stadium 2 actually left its hair a solid teal color and then gave the entirety of its body a unique pink shine effect. It’s sad that such a unique design feature ended up getting dropped when the designs got more standardized in Gen IV; I suppose consistency with the anime was just higher priority. Beyond the color, its hair also used to be much less defined, just sort of being a wavy amorphous mass. This would get toned down in XY, though, with its hair becoming a consistent seven tendrils once 3D models became a focus.

Regardless, Misdreavus is pretty much perfect, but there is a major criticism to be had: its distribution in its original appearance. I talked about this with Zorua, but one key to a pokemon’s popularity is actually being able to USE it, and nobody could have conceivably used Misdreavus in the Gen II games because it never appears until Mt. Silver, the VERY final area in the games. Sneasel was in a similar predicament in GS, but that got fixed in Crystal by moving it to Ice Path, whereas poor Misdreavus never got a proper playable role in Gen II at all. This did get fixed with Cliff Cave in HGSS two generations later (which messed up Sneasel again!!!), but by then Misdreavus had already gotten eclipsed in popularity by its evolution.

Unfortunately, Misdreavus is also one of those pokemon cursed by a pukey green shiny, but it’s not like it was gonna improve upon such a fantastic base colour scheme anyway. Teal with pink is just too good to beat, y’know? It was more of a chartreuse in past generations, having some bright citrus vibes, which I think was superior even if less ghostly. Wish XY didn’t arbitrarily decide to make some shinies worse.

But yeah, I absolutely love Misdreavus. I vibe with its nefarious trickster demeanour more than nearly any other pokemon, and whilst it’s kinda been usurped by its evolution as my #1 favourite for awhile, it’ll always hold a special place in my heart. There’s really no improving upon this precious perish baby uwu

You fainted/10.

#pokemon #pokemon reviews #swsh #pkmn #misdreavus #mismagius #ghost-type #johto #gen 2 #heinousactszx

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aros001 · 3 years ago

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Read through light novel vol. 2. Random thoughts.

Man. Bilbo became an asshole after he left the shire.

Again, I really like how these books give more insights into the goblins as well as the other characters. The Goblin Champion runs away, not just because he's in pain, but because he's still a goblin and every goblin cares about their own safety before anything else, no matter how powerful it gets or how much authority it commands. Add that into that they view themselves as victims when it comes to, well, anything and that it's always everyone else's fault when they do bad things to them and they feel less like mindless monsters and more like actual characters...that you really want to see die. They're worse than pests in that way. It's not just about survival. They are active and deliberate in their cruelty and selfishness.

It's a small thing but I do like the little shows of respect and understanding between Lizard Priest, Sword Maiden, and Priestess when it comes to their religions. They all worship different gods and have different beliefs but what seems to matter most is the intent. Priestess and Lizard Priest have completely different prayers they say upon the dead but there is no conflict between them because both are still wishing for a peaceful rest for the departed.

Funny thing, back when I first saw the scene of Goblin Slayer waking up naked in a bed with Priestess, I actually didn't think it was anything inappropriate (probably partly being so focused on being glad they were alive and out of the goblin nest). Before Sword Maiden had come in to explain things, I had thought Priestess simply crawled into bed with Goblin Slayer because it was the only way she could feel safe enough to sleep after what they'd been through.

And the reason she was naked was because...! ...People sleep naked in this world, I don't know. We had that one very loving shot of Cow Girl waking up naked the first time we saw her in the present.

Also...the anime implied Sword Maiden's blindness was because of the goblins. I didn't put it together that it was because they burned her eyes. Rewatching the arc, I can see where I missed the big clue but her actual eyes whenever she took off the blindfold just looked kind of foggy, so I guess them being burned wasn't an idea I had in my head and I just kind of didn't notice that part.

“They’ve even got flails.” These consisted of two sticks with heavy metal fasteners connected by a chain; they were said to have evolved from a threshing tool. Clergy of the Earth Mother had been known to use them, and Priestess puffed out her little chest proudly at her modicum of knowledge.

What the f**k kind of church did she grow up in?

It was the same in the anime and I'm not surprised it's even better here, but I really like whenever Goblin Slayer and Priestess are together. It's one of my favorite things in the series. They're about as opposite as you can get and yet I never question how well they're able to bond and get along, with Priestess slowly but surely getting him to open up a little more as time goes on. I am hoping we'll get to see more of what Goblin Slayer thinks of her as the series goes on. We know her thoughts on him pretty well but he spent five years being trained by Burglar and then at least five years after fighting goblins by himself, so what's the draw to this random priestess he saved? Is it just because she's the only one to make the active effort to be with him, both on quests and outside of it?

"No fire. No water. No poison." In the anime it wasn't entirely clear why Goblin Slayer was forbidden to use such things and one of the reasons given here, that High Elf Archer thinks it takes the fun out of an adventure, is a little foolish when a quest is just about exterminating goblins, something she knows how dangerous they can be. But the other reason, that they don't want him to damage the surroundings or environment, I think is a bit more fair. He apparently burned down an entire goblin headquarters and admitted to redirecting a river to destroy a nest. I can see how there'd be a lot of unintended consequences to extremes like that.

“Even... Even in my...my dreams?”

“Yes.”

“You...will... You will come...?”

“Yes.”

He is going to Freddy Kruger the shit out of those dream goblins.

A good rule of thumb I've heard for dark stories is that having mature content does not automatically make the story mature. Rather, it's how the story handles that content that makes it mature. While GS doesn't handle the subject of rape perfectly, the story is still using that concept well enough to be considered actually mature and not just edgy. It's not fetishized and it's not just "something bad that happens to women". Sword Maiden I think was a very good example of this. A woman powerful enough to take on the Demon King and his forces but will freeze up at the idea of fighting mere goblins because of what they did to her in the past. It's not treated like she's weak or cowardly or that she needs to just get over it. She was traumatized by a completely horrific experience, one which the audience knows not to take lightly because of what happened to Priestess' first party. Priestess herself thankfully didn't share the exact same fate but it did still almost happen to her like it did to Fighter, and what both of them have in common is that killing the goblins didn't make the trauma just go away. They were saved from the the goblins but not really "saved". It's staying with them and they're trying to deal with it as best they can. Even High Elf Archer has a moment when having to face the goblins again she's having to fight through the reminders of what they almost did to her in those same catacombs. There is weight to the fact that this stuff is happening to people. It takes it seriously and not in the "Oh! GRR! We're so adult! Look how dark and f**k up we are! GRR!" way but rather by dealing with the fact such experiences would really mess a person up and how they may and may not act because of it.

Another good detail is that Goblin Slayer, despite being traumatized himself by the goblins, admits he can't fully understand Sword Maiden's pain, because they experienced different things. He had to watch the goblins do their business from start to finish on his sister and his entire village while she was someone they did their business on. Both are horrible, serious, and have goblins as the common link but they are not the same, meaning he can't give her the help and understanding she wants so badly. But he understands enough that he'll still do what he can to help.

And just what a great note to end off on. The party in a wagon heading back home, Goblin Slayer talking about wanting to try his hand at making ice cream and his companions getting excited about having some. You get through the darkness so that the light feels even brighter.

I have not seen the Goblin Crown movie yet (no idea where I'd even watch it until it gets on DVD), so I genuinely have no idea what happens next, as I've read through everything anime covered. I am cautiously looking forward to vol. 3.

God count: Earth Mother, Supreme God, Deity of the Basin. Please feel free to point out any I missed.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/GoblinSlayer/comments/frj2rz/read_through_light_novel_vol_2_random_thoughts/

#goblin slayer #random thoughts #reddit repost

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ghostfriendly5 · 3 years ago

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Trigger Warning: Discussion of rape, violence and prejudice

Spoilers for the film Cape Fear

Cape Fear (1991) is...better than Goblin Slayer, but not a great film. It has undeniable merits in its cinematography (anyone even asking whether presentation of GS justifies victim shaming can run up a shutter), and in illustrating the paucity of justice for rape victims. Gregory Peck's defence lawyer suppresses evidence of a victim's 'promiscuity' because this would reduce or eliminate De Niro's sentence for raping and beating her half to death. Another victim refuses to press charges because her friendly relations with Peck would be made out to be an affair in court, along with degrading public questioning of her private life. These are tragically, damnably real concerns.

But the focus of the film is on Peck's 'ethical failure' in covering up the promiscuity, although it was in fact legally irrevelent; there was no 'he said she said' question of consent when the victim was, again, beaten half to death. The film culpably does not challenge the societal misogyny and prejudice which denies the victims justice in film and reality. Peck bellowing "just because she was promiscuous didn't give you the right to rape her!" at the rapist was nothing like enough; it is respectable lawyers, police and jurymen that need to understand this. Peck's upstanding colleague has no support for his actions, and his own shame makes him practically cringe before De Niro up to the aforementioned explosion, subtly excusing crimes that would justify the villain being driven from town to town by a right-minded public as the scum of the Earth, a justly convicted and unrepentant rapist. You'll wish a good deal worse on De Niro's character if you see the film.

Renowned though De Niro's performance is, as the monstrously entitled and callous villain, rapists do not deserve to be played by Robert De Niro. Rapists do not escape justice because they are criminal geniuses who can beat three men in a fight; from Ted Bundy downwards they escape because of societal misogyny. The only thing Hollywood Dumber than telling a society that does not condemn rapists enough that maybe Peck isn't such a good guy is making a story about rape into conflict between two men. Of course, Peck's wife and child escape being raped, while the single, professional woman who plays squash in revealing clothes, flashes her undies, and refrains from an affair with the married man she loves (of course all on-screen female characters are in love with the hero apart from his daughter) is an acceptable victim. Of course, the wife and daughter's 'trauma' gets resolution, while Lori Davis does not. Typical Hollywood misogyny, but the same elements brought to their vile apogee in Goblin Slayer.

At least De Niro's character apparently spent fourteen years being gang raped in prison (again, you wouldn't feel sorry if you'd met him). Though he may be lying, and as Mark Twain said of a vivisectionist being vivisected, I wouldn't enjoy seeing that. It could of course be argued that Cape Fear is a Hitchcockian thriller, not a film about rape. To which I'd respond that they made the 1991 film about rape when all these problematic elements were added to the story of the first film and novel. That a story about rape must tell the victim's story, and that on the whole I'd rather be watching Psycho or North by North West

#goblin slayer #cape fear #robert de niro #gregory peck #film #anime #light novel #manga #rape #metoo

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bedbellyandbeyond · 5 years ago

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A Start

[Art also at End]

Nathan couldn't say he wasn't nervous about the surgery. Of course like any surgery, there was a chance he wouldn't wake up, though it was incredibly slim. But he knew he didn't want to be awake for it; the idea of being awake and not feeling the bottom half of his body terrified him. Knowing Dax was there for him though reassured him. Sydryn explained everything they were going to do during the procedure the day before. They simplified it, made it sound like a walk in the park. Little to fear. He'd be put to sleep. An incision would be made. The twins would be removed and placed in the care of Aoife and Köbi (a new nurse Nathan had been assured was highly skilled in care), and then he'd be sown back up. Dax would be there in scrubs, watching over him and the twins, and should anything go wrong, he'd be there for them.

Nathan woke the day of the surgery feeling sore and delirious. Dax had stayed with him again that night which is why he was surprised to find himself alone in bed that morning. Not only that, but he didn't recognise his surroundings. It looked like a hospital room. Had he been moved here in preparation for the surgery? The door opened to his right and Sydryn walked in. The dragon approached him slowly. “Nathan, you might be feeling a little lost right now,” Sydryn stated. “That's completely normal.” “Yeah, I mean… You moved me while I was asleep? I thought we were going to do the surgery this afternoon… Was it moved up again?” Sydryn nodded. “You could say that.” “Are we doing it now?” Nathan rubbed his forehead. “I don't know if I'm ready… I was preparing for later…” “Nathan.” Sydryn placed a hand on Nathan's shoulder. “I don’t want to alarm you, but we already did the procedure.” “What?” Nathan looked at Syd. Then he pulled the blankets off of himself revealing his somewhat deflated stomach and the bandages covering his lower abdomen. His head swam and he felt nauseated. “No… No, no… When did you… Why did you…” “We were trying to avoid this, but last night you went into labour as the wolf. You were able to birth the wolf pup on your own, but we had to perform emergency surgery for the bear cub.” “Where are they?” Nathan asked, looking around. “Where...” His eyes finally focused on a bassinet placed beside the bed, a bundle of blankets inside. He sat up quickly and tried to stand, but Sydryn gently held him down. “Calm down, you need to rest…” “I need to see them!” Nathan demanded. “I'll bring her to you, just calm down.” Sydryn went around and lifted the bundle out of the bassinet and carefully handed it to Nathan. Nathan brought the little one to his chest, looking down at a little sleeping face. A big black nose poked out and the entire face was covered in fur. “A wolf pup?” Nathan looked to the window. “In the middle of the day?” “Yes. We're not sure what triggers their transformation, but it's not the moon like you,” Sydryn stated. “But I can assure you they have a human form.” “…You said ‘her’ earlier,” Nathan said. “I did.” “I have a daughter?” “You do. And a son.” “My son?” Nathan looked into the bassinet to confirm he wasn't just making up it's emptiness. “Where's my son?” “We had complications with the bear cub because of the nature of his birth,” Sydryn said. “But he's going to be alright.” “I didn’t ask what happened, I asked where he is,” Nathan said. “Where is he?” “Dax is with him,” Sydryn said. “My assistant Köbi is running some tests.” “I need to see him,” Nathan stated, looking down at his daughter. “I need Dax to bring him to me.” “When the tests are over, you'll be reunited. I promise,” Sydryn said. “I need both of my children together. I need to see them both. I…” His voice trembled. “Doctor, please…” Sydryn sighed. “I'll check on them… Just please rest. Don’t exert yourself. Your stitching had to be done up in a way to allow some stretch and shrink because you’re still in your wolf cycle, so I really can’t have you tearing it.” “Please, just get Dax. Bring my baby,” Nathan said, tearing up. “Alright, I'll go. Just breathe. Spend a moment with your daughter. Maybe name her, I don’t know…” Syd walked out. Nathan held the pup to his chest. She was little but not as little as he expected a wolf pup to be but then again, he was much larger than a normal wolf in his wolf form so it made sense that she’d also be bigger. As he was pondering this over though, she stirred and over the course of a quick stretch, became human. His breath caught in his throat as he looked down at his daughter. She was lighter than him, but still very much his flesh and blood. Her eyes blinked open, and they were such a gentle dark blue. She got those straight from Kent and it made him burst into tears. A moment or two later, the door opened again. Sydryn was holding it open and Dax walked in, another bundle in his arms. “Nathan? Mon dieu, are you okay?” he asked, going over to the bed and leaning over to give him a kiss on the forehead. “I can’t believe—” “Dax, my son,” Nathan interrupted, sniffling up his tears. “Put him in my arms. I need to see him.” “Right, yes.” Dax lowered the second bundle into Nathan’s arms and helped him hold both at the same time. The second child was in a human form as well, and a little tuft of red hair sprouted from the top of his head. He looked much more like Kent than his sister, though he had dark brown eyes like Nathan. A whole new wave of tears flooded Nathan's eyes. He couldn't believe it. In a few short months he'd suddenly become a father to two gorgeous children and all he could do was cry about it. He didn't know what to feel; he was happy, he was terrified, he was heartbroken, he was hopeful… It was all too much. He just cried. Dax sat down on the edge of the bed and wrapped his arm around Nathan's shoulder. “…They're okay now, Nathan. You did a good job.” Sydryn grabbed a box of tissues and handed it to Dax before stepping out. Dax used them to wipe Nathan's face gently. “The children are beautiful,” Dax went on. “They look just like you. Have you decided on the names?” Nathan nodded slowly and sniffled. “Grace…and Gabriel.” “The Gs then, hm?” Dax said. “I like it.” “Oh god…” Nathan looked at Dax. “Am I one of those parents? I didn't mean for it to be the same letter… I just like those names… And Grace was my grandmother’s…” “No, they're lovely names,” Dax said. “There's much worse and they're twins after all.” Sydryn came back and pulled up a chair beside Nathan’s bed. “Nathan, you’re going to have to stay here with us likely until the end of this wolf cycle, if not longer. We need to keep a close eye on you and the twins for a while, and with your permission, we’d like to run some non-invasive tests. You’re all seemingly healthy so you shouldn’t be worried, but I must remind you that this entire situation is unique and I can only help as best I can with your co-operation.” Nathan nodded again. “Yeah, okay… I’m just happy they’re okay…” Sydryn smiled. “Yes, you’ve been brave through this. And I do believe the best has been done for you, though I recognise my mistake in not moving the C-section up even sooner. We should’ve had it done likely right after we met on Friday, but I wanted to allow you the to weekend to organise.” Nathan shook his head. “It’s okay… They’re okay…” “If you’ll let me, I’d like to examine your stitches,” Sydryn stated. “Do you want me to step out?” Dax asked. “No. Hold the twins,” Nathan insisted, handing them to him. “How long can you stay?” “As long as you need me to,” Dax promised. “I have all day, all night.” “Who’s covering your class?” Nathan asked. “Principal Liu, actually.” “Oh god…” Nathan sighed. “When everything’s settled, I gotta take her and Pierce out for dinner or something…” Dax nodded. “Yeah, they work really hard…” He went to sit down with the twins while Sydryn did their examination of Nathan’s stitches. After they were sure things were still properly holding, they changed his dressings and moved on to a full check up, making sure Nathan was recovering properly. Grace started crying before Syd was done, and before Dax could try and console her, her brother was riled up as well. Sydryn figured they were probably hungry, so they said they’d get formula for them to feed them with since Nathan hadn’t planned on nursing, but in the moment, he threw that away and insisted on trying so the doctor showed him how. Around the time they’d settled down, Camilo and Korsgaard came by to check in and congratulate him. When the school day ended much later, Nari and the other teachers came by to see the twins as well. Nathan had time to nap before then, so he’d calmed down a lot and was very happy that they came to visit him. He was still a bit overwhelmed by the early arrival of his children, but there was also this great sense of relief now that his pregnancy was over. Of course, he couldn’t help thinking of Kent every time he looked at them, but having friends around and Dax by his side kept his mind of it, and he was able to let himself be glad that he’d made this family.

#lore #Nathan #Sydryn #Dax #werewolf #mpreg #mpreg birth

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themattress · 5 years ago

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Pokemon Franchise Narrative Comparison

To this day, there have been only three other mediums that have run for as long as the core Pokemon game series has: the anime series, the Pokemon Adventures manga series, and the Trading Card Game. With the obvious exception of the TCG, these have all had narrative arcs within each passing generation, and I want to use this post to compare their quality.

GEN I Games: Red/Blue/Green/Yellow Anime: Original Series: Indigo League + Orange Islands (The Beginning) Manga: Red/Blue/Green Chapter, Yellow Chapter

1st Place - Manga. The original R/B/G Chapter brings the world of the Game Boy games to life in stunning accuracy, while also its own spin on certain things and crafting a simple yet sophisticated coming-of-age narrative, with the Yellow Chapter being its Actionized Sequel that raises the stakes even higher and deepens everything within this manga series. Add to this clear influence from the anime and the fact that it’s the only Gen I product to feature the character of Green in it, and we have the definitive story for the franchise’s first generation.

2nd Place - Anime. While increasingly less faithful to the details of the games, the anime remained very faithful to the spirit of them while telling its own coming-of-age tale for Ash Ketchum in the Indigo League series, plus a “postgame scenario” equivalent with the Orange Islands series. The highlight of this story is definitely how it fleshes out the games’ main antagonists: Gary Oak, Team Rocket and Mewtwo, into interesting, memorable characters.

3rd Place - Games. The 8-bit adventure that started it all is incredibly bare-bones and basic: take the Pokemon League challenge, thwart the evil Team Rocket along the way, and if possible fill up that Pokedex with all 151 Pokemon (”Gotta Catch ‘Em All!”). As a story, it’s not very interesting, but as an excuse for gameplay it works marvelously and established a winning formula for the series, and to this day it’s still charming in its wholesome simplicity.

GEN II Games: Gold/Silver/Crystal Anime: Original Series: GS (Gold and Silver) Manga: Gold/Silver/Crystal Chapter

1st Place - Manga. It’s funny - in the first volume of the G/S/C Chapter, things seemed to be a definite downgrade from the Kanto-based arcs that came before in terms of artwork, characterization and narrative. But then the mysterious masked antagonist appears at the end, and from then on out things just keep escalating to such epic heights that it becomes the best Johto story in the franchise and arguably the best arc in the whole manga series! Practically everyone and everything from the previous two arcs end up joining up with the new elements and the series up to this point is brought to a satisfying, conclusive note.

2nd Place - Games. While the League challenge and Pokedex narrative threads are basically the same as before, and the Team Rocket thread is actually weaker, this story also features a stronger regional setting, a stronger rival, and stronger characterization for side characters both old and new, especially in the special edition, Crystal, making it a welcome step-up.

3rd Place - Anime. An attempt at a new narrative was notoriously abandoned early on, with Takeshi Shudo leaving the head writer position and the whole show devolving into formulaic Filler Hell. While the Johto League tournament that concluded the whole thing was good, there was barely a story to support getting there, and the main characters had all become Flanderized versions of their former selves by the end. Without question, the anime had jumped the shark. But Shudo did give us the best movie and an OVA that properly concluded Indigo League’s Mewtwo arc before he was through, so let’s not say it was a total waste.

GEN III Games: Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald, FireRed/LeafGreen Anime: Advanced Generation (Ruby and Sapphire) Manga: Ruby/Sapphire Chapter, FireRed/LeafGreen Chapter, Emerald Chapter

1st Place - Games. The first time that the games get first place, but only on the technicality that the other contenders are worse, since this really isn’t that big an improvement over the previous two generations’ game narratives. The biggest difference is that your character is the child of one of the Gym Leaders, and the evil team narrative thread (Team Aqua and/or Team Magma this time) builds to an epic high-stakes event that involves the Legendary Pokemon mascot of the game which will become a mainstay of the formula from now on. There is also the remakes of the original Gen I games, and aside from some small tweaks of improvement and a postgame scenario in an island archipelago (anime-inspired, perhaps?), the narrative is basically the same as it was before. Nothing outstanding, but serviceable.

2nd Place - Manga. Talk about a mixed bag...the R/S Chapter started out with promise but ended up going to shit in its second half, the FR/LG Chapter was fantastic only to conclude with a bullshit last-minute cliffhanger, and the Emerald Chapter that connects the two arcs is just stereotypical, badly-written shonen crap with only a few good elements in it (plus some ironic enjoyment to be had in its batshit insane climax). On the whole, this was the weakest period that the manga series has ever had, despite Kusaka and Yamamoto’s best efforts.

3rd Place - Anime. Beyond May and her character arc which, by some lucky fluke, came together wonderfully, the anime hadn’t improved that much from the Johto days. Hoenn was not done any justice (even the manga did a better job with it!), and the FRLG/Emerald composite for the filler arc afterward was just weird in spite of how entertaining half of it was. All in all, the anime hadn’t gotten a real narrative back. It was just going through the motions.

GEN IV Games: Diamond/Pearl/Platinum, HeartGold/SoulSilver Anime: Diamond & Pearl Manga: Diamond/Pearl Chapter, Platinum Chapter, HeartGold/SoulSilver Chapter

1st Place - Manga. Pokemon Adventures retakes its crown in this generation, with a phenomental two arcs in the Sinnoh region that are so linked that they essentially make up one whole story, and a brief, adequate arc in Johto that properly bridges the gap between those Sinnoh arcs and the Emerald arc before them. Whenever I think of Sinnoh, it’s the region portrayed in this manga that comes to mind, which is a testament to its high quality.

2nd Place - Games. One word can describe the narratives of these games: overcooked. There are a lot of good ingredients here that elevate the series’ storytelling to a new level, but way too many cooks who don’t have a unified idea of how to properly mix them together means that it becomes a muddled mess of mythology, philosophy and vague character motivations. This particularly pisses me off when it effects the otherwise solid Gen II remakes. However, the good elements are still good regardless, and as showcased by the following generation this was a necessary learning curve to get through, so it deserves some respect.

3rd Place - Anime. Ugh. Newly appointed head writer Atsuhiro Tomioka tries to have his cake and eat it too here, maintaining the anime’s banal filler formula while also attempting to tell a legitimate narrative, but he as just one man somehow manages to clutter up that narrative more than the several writers did for the games in this generation! It is an increasingly insufferable roller coaster of plot threads and supposed character arcs that are drawn out to the point of disinterest across four years, with you really feeling the disastrous pace when it takes a years’ worth of time between Ash winning his 7th badge and him winning his 8th. Combine this with the source material of the games being disrespected or cast aside perhaps worse than ever, and you get what I will always believe is the lowest point for the anime.

GEN V Games: Black/White, Black 2/White 2 Anime: Best Wishes + Best Wishes Season 2 (Black and White) Manga: Black/White Chapter, Black 2/White 2 Chapter

1st Place - Games. With this generation, particularly with its first set of games, the learning curve undergone in Gen IV paid off. This is quite possibly the richest narrative in the whole game series in terms of plot, characterization and themes, and the peak of the traditional formula. Combined with stellar gameplay, it creates a high point that has yet to be matched.

2nd Place - Manga. The Black/White Chapter had a rough start, just copying the games’ plot almost to the letter but with the characterizations for the main characters truly being less than ideal (see what I did there?) However, once Black and White go their own separate ways the arc starts rapidly improving until it ends on a phenomenal high note that segues perfectly in the Black 2/White 2 arc that, like the Yellow arc, is an Actionized Sequel and, like the Platinum arc, is essentially the continuation and conclusion of the same story as in the previous arc. The only real mark against it is that it can be too fast-paced which only adds to the frustrating irony of the absolutely Hellish schedule slip it underwent (8 fucking years for an arc of just 24 chapters / 3 volumes to be completed! It’s never going to live that fact down!)

3rd Place - Anime. Kind of the reverse of the manga: had a great start being the best that the anime has been in a long time, only to get progressively weaker, with the third and final year being a trainwreck of checking off plot points in a mad rush to promote the upcoming Gen VI and pander to the whiny fanboys who’d been complaining about the loss of the formula and D/P-style story writing (yes, they actually liked those) plus the “soft reboot” aspect going on, particularly with Ash. However, much like the Gen IV games, the Gen V anime proved to be a necessary learning curve for the future and is a highly impactful series in that regard, so it deserves respect for that (although I hate that both a natural disaster and the B2/W2 games screwed up the originally planned Team Plasma arc! It’s never going to live that fact down!)

GEN VI Games: X/Y, Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire Anime: XY + XY&Z Manga: X/Y Chapter, Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire Chapter

1st Place - Manga. I thoroughly dislike the story of the X/Y games and the Delta Episode of OR/AS, so imagine my surprise when Pokemon Adventures actually makes something good out of them (or, in the Delta Episode’s case, something tolerable at best). The X/Y Chapter is a delightful deconstruction of a lot of what’s in the games, turning what was light and fluffy and hollow into something dark and suspenseful and meaningful. And the OR/AS Chapter gets points for being the best that Ruby and Sapphire have ever been characterized, to the point where they’ve been officially Rescued from my Scrappy Heap (Emerald’s still lame tho).

2nd Place - Games. Like I said, I dislike the X/Y games’ narrative and the Delta Episode of OR/AS; I think they are the worst writing the game series has ever seen to date. But the main narrative of OR/AS - the actual remake of the Gen III games which features a lot of new and necessary improvements - is solid, and that’s enough to put the games at second place here.

3rd Place - Anime. Similarly, the one thing the anime series does really well - the Myth Arc, which includes the Team Flare storyline - is not enough to elevate it beyond third place, because the rest of the series’ narrative is just as lame as the X/Y games’, there’s not much benefit from OR/AS elements, and everything that it positions in its shameful fan-pandering utterly fails to deliver or add up to anything meaningful in the end. The Mega Evolution specials pretty clearly demonstrate that this should have been Alain’s show, not Ash’s.

GEN VII Games: Sun/Moon/Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon Anime: Sun & Moon Manga: Sun/Moon/Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon Chapter

1st Place - Games. The Gen V games have serious competition story-wise with the Gen VII games. Both S/M and US/UM are excellent, with things not done so well in one being done better in the other and vice-versa to the point where they compliment each other beautifully.

2nd Place - Anime. Miracle of miracles! For the first time since Gen I, the anime series gets its narrative in second place, with Daiki Tomiyasu and Aya Matsui completely reinventing it in a refreshingly fun and vibrant way. There are some missed opportunities here and there, but overall it’s a perfect adaptation of the Alola region and everything that makes it so great.

3rd Place - Manga. While this is still an arc of good quality that I like, it’s also perhaps the most disappointing since Ruby/Sapphire back in Gen III. After doing so well with Sinnoh, Unova and Kalos, one senses that Kusaka and Yamamoto struggled to adapt Alola to that same standard, and while the decision to keep US/UM as part of the same arc rather than be a separate one was wise, it’s during the US/UM half of the arc that things really start falling apart and the wasted potential of stuff that got set up earlier becomes overbearing. It doesn’t help that the leads are an unlikable hero with an interesting, relatable goal and a likable heroine with an uninteresting, unrelatable goal respectively. Let’s hope that the patchwork done in the volume releases fixes some of the problems so that I can like this arc even more.

GEN VIII Games: Sword/Shield Anime: New Series (Journeys) Manga: Sword/Shield Chapter

1st Place - Manga. As I recently stated, Kusaka and Yamamoto are back at their A-Game with this arc, taking advantage of all that was lacking in the games’ story and utilizing them in an interesting narrative that I can’t wait to further experience alongside our surrogate, Marvin.

2nd Place - Games. If the Gen IV games’ narrative was overcooked, then the narrative of the games four generations later is most definitely undercooked. It’s not the worst story - that’s still Gen VI - but it’s possibly the most disappointing since it’s so easy to see how it could have been better and you are left baffled as to why the writers didn’t go in that direction.

3rd Place - Anime. This series is highly enjoyable thanks to the continued leadership of Daiki Tomiyasu, but not only is there not as much of a narrative as there’s been in earlier shows, it isn’t even uniquely Gen VIII-based: taking place across all regions in the Pokemon World and taking influence from mobile games like Go (released in Gen VI) and Masters (released in Gen VII). Add to that the unfortunate hiatus it’s now on and it can’t help but be placed last.

#Pokemon #Opinion #Analysis #Comparison

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kaguraspetsims · 5 years ago

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Alright it’s story time!! I’m going to put this under a read more since it is both long and unrelated to FR!!

ALRIGHT so, I don’t know how many of you know/recall my situation so I’ll give like a short background.

My dad is emotionally abusive. He has been this way for the 25 years I have been alive and walking this earth. He is controlling, manipulative, and terrible.

Last year I started working at GameStop. I made very good friends while I was there. My former boss, after learning about my dad and his awful behavior, offered to let me and my dog move in with her and her two dogs. Over the year I worked at GS, I had been moving things into her home with the expectation I was finally going to get out. I was so very happy that she was so incredibly understanding of my situation.

Skip to February. (This is where things start to get a little more complicated btw.) I meet a very very kind dude. He came into the store, I mistook him for one of my coworkers. He stayed in our store for 4 hours! I later learned that night after we closed (from the very coworker I mistook him for lol) that when I had left the room during his visit, he had asked my coworker if I was single.

He was super nice, so I thought “eh, why not exchange numbers next time he’s in?”

So I did. We talked for about a week.

On February 25th, this amazing dude asked me out! (For the record, I totally accepted <3)

That same day, though, I learned that my store was closing.

A week or so after learning of the store closure and preparing said store for closing sales, I learned that BOTH of my bosses had fevers. (This is around the time that the pandemic was starting to finally be taken seriously, but not very many symptoms were well known.)

I go home and let it slip that they had fevers.

My dad fucking throws a fit. He tells me I am no longer allowed to work there. If I tried to go, he’d take the car from me (the car I assumed was in his name). If I still refused to stay home, he’d call the cops on me.

Keep in mind, he’s fuckign screaming this. Like, legitimately screaming. My mom tells him to back the fuck off, and he starts screaming at her too. My brother comes up from the basement to tell him to chill the fuck out. Can you guess what happened next? Yep, he screamed at my brother too.

So this is happening, I’ve been told I’m not allowed to leave the room. So I break down.I absolutely lose my shit. Not only am I sobbing, I am screaming back for everyone to stop. I have frozen up into a literal ball.

My mom takes me upstairs, where I let everything out and call my boss (the one who had said I could move in with her). I tell her I can no longer come in, I explain the threats he’s made and the situation I was just put in.

I’m met with basically total silence. The only things I hear are “I just don’t know what to say” in an obviously irritated tone.

After apologizing profusely, I finally hang up and break down again. Not even 5 minutes later, she begins to text me. When I explain I cannot make it in because of the threats, I receive this:

“Thanks for making a shitty situation even worse.”

By the time I’ve gotten this, it’s 2 in the morning.

I’ve been keeping my sissy and my boyfriend in the loop about it all. I discord call my boyfriend, who (through irritated cursing at my boss) asks if he can some get me.

I accept his offer, and I stay at his apartment for 2 days straight.

The day after this all goes down, I start receiving calls from the regional manager, who tells me that he needs my keys for the store because no one is available to open it.

My boss was sick. The assistant manager was sick.

They were told to quarantine.

I was literally the only other person who was able to open the store.

So the regional comes and gets my keys after I explain to him (vaguely) what had been happening in the past 7 hours.

While staying at my boyfriend’s apartment, I talked to his sister-in-law about the whole issue with my dad and boss. Turns out, her mother was very very much like my father.

When I finally left on the second day, she told my boyfriend that, if I so desired, I would be more than welcome to live with them. He immediately told me about this, and I decided I would accept it.

Told my dad I was going to live with him because I couldn’t stand the screaming fits anymore. He took it way better than I had expected, although he did the whole “I’m sorry you feel that way” bullshit.

The next day I took some clothes, my switch, and my iPad and started living with my boyfriend, his brother, and his sister-in-law.

And honestly? My mental health within the past 3 months has absolutely skyrocketed!! I have been so much happier, I’ve been told I don’t apologize as much, and I’ve just really been able to come out of my shell!

We will (hopefully) finally be going to my former boss’s home tomorrow to pick up the things I had brought to her place over the past year. Aside from trying to plan days during which I could get my stuff, she has refused to speak with me.

But other than that, I can’t say very many negative things about the past few months. Even with the quarantine, my new job has been considered “essential,” so I’ve been able to keep busy. My boyfriend has been one of the single most encouraging people in my life in just these short 3 months that I’ve known him. I’ll brag more about him in another post though ;)

#not fr #personal #negative #positive #emotional abuse tw #things turned out alright tho!!

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franstastic-ideas · 5 years ago

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To everyone that read Bitty Blues, thank you so much for the reblogs and your feedback. I can't even begin to tell you how much that means to me. Now I'd like to take this time to reply to some of the people that left comments on this fanfiction before moving on to the next piece of news I have for you.

@theydrawthings - You were the first one to review, and you were the first to point out the easter egg I hid towards the ends of the story! Chopper really tugged on your heartstrings, huh?

And I'd love to see the scene of the Blueberry swarm if you decide to draw it!

(Fun Fact: Drawing fan art of stuff I've written is 99.9% more likely to make me love you forever! @nuvex, @lostmypotatoes, @xxkoichiixx, @venelona and @theydrawthings, I haven't forgotten about the lovely fan art you've drawn for me. I have to look at them every few days to make sure I wasn't just dreaming.)

@semisolidmind - It's funny you mentioned writing for this again, since I might just have an idea or two up my sleeve...

@mellowjelloe - Wow, Chopper has really left a mark on the readers, hasn't he? So many people want to adopt him.

@lostmypotatoes - WOAH. You read through this story, which is nearly 20,000 words in length, three times? In a row? You say it was just that good? Wow, you're really sweet! And maybe a little nuts. But mostly sweet!

You and several others have noticed and praised how I gave each of the bitties introduced their own personality. At first I was only going to introduce one or two and skim over the rest, but then as I said in one post earlier, it all just snowballed. I thought the process might get old to the readers before the story got to the end, but it looks like that wasn't the case.

As for how Chara selected her own bitty Bossanova, I'm afraid it wouldn't make for much of a story I think. She already knew she wanted to adopt Bossanova from the moment she met him! XD But maybe she might return to the adoption center one day and come back for Bebop...

@xxkoichiixx - First of all, thank you for telling me about the typos and the sudden point of view changes - I think I've corrected all those now. I read over the things that I write at least once before posting to look for such things, but I guess I missed a few mistakes because the story stretched on for so long...

And more love for Chopper!

And honestly, about wanting to adopt G? Saaaaame. Another fun fact: I used to not like him that much. Something about his whole 'bad boy' aesthetic just rubbed me the wrong way. All it took was some headcanons, fan art, and fanfiction of him being portrayed as a genuinely cool guy and actually pretty sweet for me to change my mind. Now I think he's an unfairly underrated AU character that desperately needs more love and attention.

@mambourin - A lot of comments mentioned how they liked the interactions between Frisk and Chara. Writing their conversations felt natural to me in a way I can't quite describe, but I thought that I needed to show how important they are to each other before anything else in the story. Romance and shipping can be a lot of fun, but I also feel that platonic relationships have just as much relevance and shouldn't be brushed so easily aside.

I will admit that my writing can be described as intricate, but I used to think it was a bad thing. 'Nobody cares about that much detail going into a story! You're wasting your time!' my negative and pessimistic side would argue. So hearing how much you and others appreciate all the touches I put into the narrative, it really helps put a muzzle onto that stream of self-deprecating thoughts.

Okay, now onto the next news!

Some of you have asked for and about this in the comments and asks, so I've decided to confirm it.

I HAVE thought of a sequel for Bitty Blues.

Actually, that isn't accurate. The truth is, I've thought of TWO sequels!

The first one takes place a little after Frisk adopts Crescendo and showcases their life together. However, do you remember that sweet Sansy she first met at the adoption center, readers? That's right. Frisk adopts him too! So the story is about Crescendo coming to terms with having to share Frisk with another bitty, but his jealousy only gets worse when after a while of the Sansy living with them, he turns into a G bitty! So then Crescendo feels inferior since now he and the Sansy turned G aren't quite equals anymore in the terms of rarity.

The second sequel is focused on... Chopper. It's also a bit of a prequel, since the first part would detail just how he became an Axe bitty, and it's gut-wrenching. I'm not joking, you guys - I actually started tearing up a few times while planning it out. Basically, his past owner really wanted a G bitty, but couldn't afford one. So she decided to make one. The problem with that is, nobody knows just how Sansies turn into Gs, so her insane line of reasoning was, since Gs are so slim figured, one factor of them turning into Gs must be their weight. You already know exactly how this turned out.

But you see, Sansies are supposed to be chubby. And without enough food in their system, their magic weakens and their bones gradually get more brittle. Which brings us to the gaping hole in his head. Let's just say she got annoyed with him begging for food and let's leave it at that for now...

As you can well imagine, this was extremely traumatizing for him. He has a host of physical and mental conditions that the adoption center's staff work tirelessly to help him cope. But the most severe condition he has is an eating disorder - Chopper has bulimia.

Chopper doesn't place any blame on his owner, and because he couldn't be what she wanted, and with his bone structure expanding instead of shrinking post transformation, he thinks of himself as hideously obese when nothing could be further from the truth. Anything he eats, it never stays in his system long before he tries to purge it by forcing himself to vomit. That's why his voice is so raspy, he's done this so many times it's affected his speech.

I'd really like for this second story to be not only about Chopper's background, but also about his recovery. In his mind, he won't let the staff help him because it's their job to take care of him and any concern they show him is out of obligation, so maybe he would be more obedient towards a potential future owner. This being Frisk, of course.

It's a very touchy subject matter, so I can see why some people might shy away from reading it, especially those that have suffered from eating disorders. I thought it was a unique concept, though. Usually, Horrortale Sans is depicted as ravenous and would eat just about anything in a setting where food is scarce. But Horrortale Sans in this Bittybones AU outright refuses to eat in a setting where food is plentiful and given to him.

Let me know your thoughts on these potential sequels either by comment or through an ask, since I'd love some feedback on these ideas. If I do decide to write them, I'm not sure when I'd do so since right now I'm writing another prompt from the list and want to finish it before moving onto another story. And then I also have to think about that continuation of 'The Villain I Appear To Be' that I said I might do.

But if enough of you are interested, I will put the sequels to Bitty Blues on my list of things to do.

#franstastic answers #franstastic writes #bitty blues #frans #sans x frisk #bittybones #horrortale #tw abuse #tw eating disorder

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