#it's just the fact that i've emphasized my point so so many times and we've fought on it so much but our arguments have never changed

[embv]

GOD my mom frustrates me so much :( help me

[denimbex1986]

If you follow movie opinions in social media—and more power to you if you're wise enough to do otherwise—you might have caught some discourse on the current hit film Oppenheimer addressing its sex scenes. Specifically, some folks online asserted that the sex scenes weren't "necessary," or didn't "advance the plot." And if you care at all about the art of filmmaking, the only possible response to these comments would go something along the lines of, "Oh noooooooo."

This will not be a rant about Puritan attitudes surrounding cinematic sexuality, although there are entire books to be written about that subject. Instead, I'm concerned about this as a microcosm of a bigger problem, one that is absolutely murdering the ability to talk thoughtfully about narrative art forms like movies, television, theater and books: the way anything with a story has been reduced to a level of "what happens."

If there's any place where this idea manifests most prominently, it's in the obsession with "spoilers" regarding any new piece of narrative storytelling. People like me who write about new releases often dodge talking about certain revelations as a matter of courtesy, but I've started to wonder if doing so is contributing to an infantilization of critical thinking. Every time we emphasize the fact that we're not going to talk about certain things, we inevitably emphasize their role in the overall experience. It's a cult of the "what happens," at the expense of the how it happens.

This notion was at the forefront of my mind recently when I watched for the first time the classic 1949 film noir The Third Man. By virtue of being immersed in the world of film, I was aware that certain plot developments were coming, in the same way that even someone who has never seen The Crying Game or The Empire Strikes Back or The Sixth Sense has probably absorbed from popular culture their respective third-act bombshells. Yet it never once occurred to me that I shouldn't watch The Third Man simply because I was already aware of some of the secrets of Harry Lime. There were so many other filmmaking elements to experience—performances, bits of dialogue, cinematography—besides those that could be contained in a Wikipedia plot summary. The movie was much more than that.

Yet we've become obsessed—perhaps even more so in the era of eternal serialized storytelling like the Marvel Cinematic Universe—with the essence of a movie being the "what happens" part. This damages aesthetic appreciation for a lot of reasons, but nowhere more clearly than with regard to movies and other stories where the artist is up to something more complicated than telling a simple story, as is the case with filmmakers like David Lynch. I studied literary criticism before getting into film, and there has always been a popular stigma around experimental works like James Joyce's Ulysses, which while it certainly included components of a narrative—it is, in the most rudimentary sense, a novel about what happens to one man over the course of one day—did so in unusual ways. Does it "advance the plot" that Joyce spends an entire chapter of Ulysses describing events in the question-and-answer format of a catechism? Not remotely. It is, however, a fascinating creative choice with thematic significance, just like the stream-of-consciousness chapter that closes the book from the point of view of protagonist Leopold Bloom's wife, Molly. Reading that chapter is an amazing experience for someone who loves literature, one that would be insanely oversimplified if you first encountered the book after having someone tell you, "Spoiler alert: Molly Bloom has an orgasm."

If you're interpreting all this as a blanket endorsement of letting loose with every possible plot revelation, you're missing the point. On any number of occasions, a narrative's impact on me has been amplified by lack of foreknowledge, and a sense of discovery. But the balance has been tipped too heavily in the direction of emphasizing plot—whether that means people behaving as though a story has been ruined by knowing something in advance, or by resisting aesthetic choices that are there simply to be aesthetic choices.

We can have a discussion about whether any given element of a movie, including a sex scene, works in the way the filmmakers intended. What we can't do is turn the discussion into one where that element is judged exclusively on its merits as a plot-driving mechanism. There's a whole world of art to experience beyond synopsis—and it's a world that can't be spoiled.'

[virghogh]

Guessing NCT's rising signs: Huang Renjun as a Cancer rising

Welcome to my first post where I write all about why I think this idol is X rising sign! I don't know how many of these I'll do because it heavily depends on how confident I feel in my guess of their rising lol for Renjun's rising sign, it's something I've been sitting on for a loooong time just to see if anything else comes into my head. At the end of the day we really have no way to know for sure, even if the idols gives us their birth time it still has to be taken with a grain of salt! But it’s still fun theorize and to test your skills while learning at the same time. So for now I feel pretty confident sharing my thoughts on Renjun as a cancer rising.

Let’s ✨explore✨ why:

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧long post! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✦ Before I even decided to look up his chart layout, there were 2 characteristics of Renjun that initially led me to think he’s a Cancer rising. His eyes and his physique. His eyes aren’t necessarily as big as idols we’ve seen with moon in 1st, but they’re still very notable features of his physical appearance that he’s very well known for. They’re bigger, soft and dreamy, and sometimes look like he quite literally holds stars in his eyes. The biggest physical feature though is his, well, petite frame. Next to his eyes, renjun is also really well know for his smaller build. It’s even a well known inside joke amongst NCT, they all him “big shoulders renjun” (lol) because “for a guy” his shoulders a on the smaller side. Both of these physical attributes can also be identifying characteristics of cancer risings.

✦ So, in general I think he is a Cancer rising. But if we want to be more specific; I do think he is a 3rd decan Cancer rising which is the Pisces/Neptune ruled decan. I initially chose this because his house and planet placements just make so much more sense to me when the rising is in the 3rd decan (I'll get into that below), but after reading about the 3rd decan I also think it fits his personality really well! With the Neptune and Pisces influence, he's more on the open side of Cancer rising but more notably, 3rd decans are a lot more inclined to art/creativity and sometimes, music specifically. These people also have a very dreamy attraction about them. He also has his Venus trine ASC which can further add to this kind of creative vibe he gives off, but is also drawn to! It emphasizes the importance of aesthetics, art and creativity in his life. If you've never been on Renjun stan twt then you might not know that a lot of his fans see him as this incredibly dreamy and ethereal boy (as they should) and I can see why!

*:･ﾟ✧house and planet placements *:･ﾟ✧

Scorpio moon, Sagittarius Pluto in 5th:

✦ yea... just yes. Okay but actually, if you read my NCT Dream Hexaco x Birth Chart analyses, I talked a lot about his chart already because I really like it. As someone with a Scorpio moon, I can't help but be really interested in how his plays out. And I have to say, I am quite attached to this theory because I think his scorpio moon in 5th just. makes. sense. I'm not going to go much into the descriptions of the placements, I'm mostly going to stick to the house influence. We know that Scorpio moons have really intense emotions, they internalize everything and are just highly sensitive people to their environments. Renjun has been incredibly open about his mental and emotional struggles ever since being a kid. I've honestly never heard an idol talk about their struggle like he has. He even opened up recently about how a few years ago he had an art therapist that really helped him and lowkey changed his life. I feel like a lot of this can be reflected in his 5th house. The house of creativity, expression, creation. His 5th cusp is also in Scorpio. 5th house in water tend to be really drawn to arts and music. Having a Scorpio moon, a moon sign that can be quite guarded, in a fire house can also explain his readiness/openness to share his emotions and art. Also let's not forget his chart ruler is his Scorpio moon in 5th! What I've wrote above are big themes in his life, which we've seen.

✦ As for the Pluto in 5th. Because his 5th house is in Scorpio this would mean the 5th ruler is in 5th. I know it might not make sense at first because it's pluto and pluto is misunderstood. But it makes perfect sense to me. Pluto in 5th is a deeply passionate and creative placement. It bring so much energy to this house, and can even create a borderline obsession with themes of this house. With creating and expressing. But I could also see having this and his scorpio moon in this house bringing so much energy, it just kind of adds to the confusion and intensity of a scorpio moons emotions and processing abilities, like, emotionally overwhelming. Scorpio moons always need an outlet and they usually figure that out the hard way at some point in life. The outlet can vary based off the chart, his is without a doubt connected to his art; whatever that may be to him.

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Aquarius Uranus in 8th:

✦ This part is brief because it's more of like, additional details to what's already in his chart. Something that is really well known about Renjun too is how much he is into space and aliens and stuff like that. He, once again, has been very open about it lol on variety shows I've seen him light up every time its briefly mentioned and he'll comment on how much he finds that stuff interesting. The 8th house is weird, it can manifest in a lot of different ways. The biggest point here for me is that the house is in Aquarius with Uranus here. I know someone with this placement too and, while they're open minded to astrology and tarot etc. it's a bit more focused on logic. I can't say for sure because I don't know him, but he kind of strikes me as the kind of person that would fight to death over aliens existing, but draws the line at astrology lol. I actually do think he would be open to astrology and tarot, but he'd need the right introduction to it. Anyways, yea this placement to me explains a lot of his interest in space and things we don't understand. He's expressed his curiosity in it. I think a lot of this is coming from his Scorpio moon and Pisces mercury/venus which is why I think it's just additional support.

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Pisces Mercury/Venus in 9th:

✦ THIS HOUSE right here... so much to say. Firstly, Pisces in 9th is probably one of the main culprits for his creativity, deep thinking and curiosity in the world. And more importantly: his imagination. I've mentioned this a lot when I talk about renjun but, he's very well known for his creativity, but I want to make it clear that there is a distinction between creation and imagination. His imagination is truly... on another level. Well, planet actually since it's pisces! Again, amongst fans it's really well known his imagination is just so unqiue. This is less about the 9th house and more about the fact that he has 2 pisces placements but it still affects it lol. He's very open about his imagination and speaks about it so naturally. He shared his drawing of a bird, hybrid, thing? and how it's an animal that steals your dreams in your sleep. Anyways, Pisces in 9th aren't necessarily the travelers we'd see with an air or fire sign here, but they like to travel mentally. He's also talked about how he's just in general a very curious person and you can tell his thoughts probably travel far and wide in his down time.

✦ What's really interesting to me about this house is his mercury is here and Mercury in 9th is a very specific kind of placement. It almost always guarantees an interest and talent in learning languages. I don't know if languages are necessarily a passion for him but he definitely is interested and cares about learning language and other cultures. He also did pick up on Korean and English with ease. Which also reminds me that, he actually was exposed to Korean at a young age because I'm pretty sure he went to a bilingual school (chinese and korean). This is also a big deal to me because planets in 9th, especially sun/mercury often indicate very early exposure to languages or other cultures... so yea that checks out. This can also be proved by looking at his IC in Virgo, which puts the ruler in 9th. His mercury is also sextile Jupiter. I also wanna comment that he has his Mercury in the 5th degree, I'm not great at degree theory yet but that feels significant to me. Of course we cannot forget his absolutely angelic voice. Renjun is also very well known for his stunning vocals. Not only are Pisces placements musically inclined but Pisces mercury are known for their sweet voices.

✦ As for the venus is 9th, I feel like I have more to say on his venus being in Pisces because that's where so much of his artistic creativity and imagination come from. But venus here adds to a lot of what I've written above, adding to his curiosity of the world. What I find most interesting about venus in 9th though, is it brings another inclination to art! He might really like art from different places in the world, or just exploring all types of art being very open minded to its different forms etc. Venus here also brings ease to language learning, and these people will naturally have other cultures and people from them as a big part of their life. I feel like, in general it's not surprising at all to me that as a foreign member (being from China), that he would have 9th house influence! It can often manifest as like.., travel, other languages, cultures and parts of the world etc. are just very naturally a part of their life. Some people never really contemplate life overseas or in another country. But for 9th housers, it's never not been an option. His 9th house influence can also make him a great teacher, mentor and just overall supportive person. We've seen some of this in the content he's made with NCT. Like trying to teach his members chinese with Chenle, except he was taking it way more seriously lol but was so supportive. He's also tried to get Jeno and Jisung involved in his art making, but keeping the process very open and fun.

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Aries sun, Taurus mars in 10th:

✦ This is the last part I'm going to cover because it is really just the icing on the cake to finish this up. The 10th house is considered pretty important when looking at celebrities/idols because it's very likely a lot of what we see from them is their 10th house influence. In the chart model I'm using for Renjun, it puts his MC in the very last degrees of Pisces, so there's a chance it's in Aries but either way with his sun and mars here they are still playing a big role. So for that reason, I'm opting for Pisces MC. I also think Pisces MC fits though because first it puts the ruler in his 7th house. Meaning he could really benefit and work well in something that involves a group! Because it's Pisces in Neptune, it also adds to his very ethereal vibe and how people just seem to love him wherever he goes. He's very magnetic and can come off as artistic and sensitive. He's known for being dreamy, unreal, artistic, sensitive.

✦ Again, we know he has an aries sun and taurus mars so I'm not going to explain them here, just how they affect the house, but having his these here makes so much sense to me too. Having planets in 10th also influences what kind of "vibe" people get from you, and what you're "known" for. Mars and Sun bring similar energy of being well known for for energy, drive, and even stage presence. Not being afraid to be on stage, being good with attention and spotlight. He's known for his kind of playful and childish behavior at times. He is charismatic, bold, brave, happy and upbeat. With the sun, he is again known for his creativity and creations and also self-expression.

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Thank you to anyone who read all this. I don't really expect many people to because I'm mostly writing this for my own curiosity and to finally just put this theory out there! Anyways, stan Renjun best boy <33

Thoughts and feedback are always welcome <3

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[tear-stained-blankie]

Autistic Uma HC's (Mostly from Descendants 2)

It's me again with another headcanon post with yet another one of my comfort characters! This time, we've got Uma from Descendants! I want to emphasize that I've never seen someone point Uma out as a possibly autistic character before and that it is in no way canon. I'm simply doing this because it's what I think and I really love Uma. Finally, I'm not giving these headcanons about her actor either, just Uma as a character. With that all out of the way, let's start!

1. Ecololia

If you've watched Descendants 2 at all, or seen any clips that feature Uma, you've probably heard her song, 'What's My Name?' I believe this was more than just a song opportunity and is actually her stimming verbally by saying that phrase. At the end of her fight scene with Mal where she escapes with Ben, we see her do this without a song. She repeats the phrase 'what's my name?' over and over again. The phrase probably calms her out of anger because of things that happened in her past. Saying that phrase reminds her that she's herself and not who people (like Mal) precieve her to be. In fact, the first time she said that phrase in the movie was after Gil jokingly called her 'shrimpy' (a nickname Mal called her back when they were kids to make fun of her.)

2. Stimming

There are many reasons to interpret that Uma may in fact be stimming throughout the two movies she's featured in. She flips/plays with her hair, feels the texture of her seashell necklace, paces while she's talking to other people (like Ben or Harry,) and of course, her ecololia that I mentioned earlier. It makes sense that Uma would stim because her stims have characteristics (she plays with her hair when she's happy, she paces when she's nervous or upset, she touches her necklace when she's really happy or unsure, etc.)

3. She gives a nod to the fact that she has meltdowns.

There's two crucial pieces of evidence that makes me think Uma may experience meltdowns. First, where she was talking to Ben about going to Auradon. Uma laughed at Ben when he bought it up and says, "That was the angriest I've ever been in my life, and I've been plenty angry." I know that sounds like a line to emphasize how mad she was about not being invited to Auradon like Mal, Evie, Jay and Carlos, but I think it's more than that. Also, back to that scene where Mal got away and Uma was repeating her ecololia phrase, the scene cut off after that with no sight of her again until Cotillion. Having something she planned out go wrong could very well cause a meltdown and stimming heavily before a meltdown isn't uncommon either. I think she had one off camera while Mal and Ben got away.

4. She only looks Harry in the eyes.

I was thirteen the first time I watched Descendants 2, and ever since then, I thought there was a deeper meaning behind Mal and Uma's arm wrestling match they had to settle their deal. Mal's eyes glow green when she wants to make people less powerful to her advantage, however Uma wasn't affected at all and won the arm wrestling match anyway. If she didn't look Mal in the eyes, it wouldn't have had any effect on her and that's because she didn't look Mal in the eyes. Now, you could say she didn't look Mal in the eyes because she knew she was capable of that power, but after a closer look, she only looks one character in the eyes, and that's Harry Hook. It makes sense why, she trusts Harry and he's been with her through a lot. He was there during Uma's possible meltdown on the ship and he's probably been there for a lot of others too.

Well, those were my terrible headcanons! If you like them, please reblog! And before you go, you know I had to make an autistic Uma icon too! So, here they are! You're welcome to use it if you'd like! Thank you for reading!

[sheryl-lee]

changes*tumblr*com/post/692141171135447040/ -- so apparently, even after all of the negative feedback, tumblr will still be going through with the mp4 change. they really don't care about gifmakers or our feedback, i'm pretty sure they've never even bothered to acknowledge our complaints in the first place.

yup i'm honestly not surprised, just pissed off. it's very typical of st*ff to ignore any valid concerns that its userbase has and go forward with implementing changes that are unnecessary and wildly harmful to a large percentage of said userbase. like... the quality of the conversions don't matter to us - the fact that our gifs are being converted at all is what we're upset about. the decision on st*ff's part to be so obtuse about that is just frustrating. we've repeatedly outlined the specifics of why this whole idea is bullshit and they still don't seem to be willing to listen.

st*ff basically saying "look see the mp4 quality is minimally better now so stfu" is so condescending and emphasizes to me that they truly don't give a shit about their users, and that they are deliberately ignoring the fact that this change will fundamentally alter the gifmaking process.

the fucking quality doesn't matter if the gifs aren't gifs anymore. there's no point in using ps to make a gif and export it as such when the entire gif is rendered into a 2 second video that alters the medium of the image, and i'm sure that there will be plenty of bugs and glitches and other additional issues that content creators will have to deal with once the change is fully implemented, because it's tumblr dot com. we can barely put up with the various issues we have to deal with as is - no one is going to stay on this site if we have to navigate this on top of everything else. and i'm sure that any workarounds that exist to avoid the mp4 conversion will have their own glitches, or tumblr will crack down on them over time until it can't be avoided. it's truly so fucking dumb and quite honestly i don't have the capacity to deal with it.

i love gifmaking and creating but i've never felt as discouraged and honestly disinterested in gifmaking as i do right now. i've been giffing on here for about 4-5 years and i've put up with a lot of bullshit, but this may be enough to make me quit, if not for a little bit than possibly for good. and i hate that, but i have enough going on in my personal life as is and i don't think i have the energy or mental capacity to create with so many obstacles. gifmaking should be fun and a way to communicate with others, but when all i see is a lack of interaction, people stealing/reposting my content, persistent negativity, and additional problems forced on me by the website i create for, there's little to no enjoyment remaining for me.

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter Nine: Sleep Peacefully

(Image not mine)

Rated: PG

~What story should I tell? Will it end happy, will it turn out well? What dreams do I own? Can I call any place my home?

And I rock myself to sleep, and I tell myself "don't get caught too deep" 'Cause I know by now, you're here for me.

And I tell myself "move along" and I tell myself "you were all wrong" But I know by now, wrong was right for me.

I'll sleep peacefully~

The black paved road of the near-empty highway stretched out in front of us, a stark contrast to the piles of glittering snow that the snowplows had pushed off the street. We had been on the road for 9 hours and were now somewhere in Iowa. The area we were now driving through was so much brighter than Copper Harbor ever was. There wasn't so much as a cloud to be seen in the sky. The last few orange rays of light from the setting sun sprinkled across the landscape as it dipped below the horizon, glittering and reflecting off hills blanketed in white. The sight almost hurt my eyes. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Whipping out my phone I snapped as many pictures as I possibly could, though I knew they would never do justice to the spectacular view.

The sun sank lower and lower and eventually vanished beneath the horizon. Then the stars came out. Scattered across the black velvet sky, they were so numerous it seemed impossible. I could see the differences in colors and size, and I could trace the shape of the Milky-Way. There were no trees or streetlamps lining the Iowa highway and it felt as if I was swimming through inky blackness, like I was swimming between the stars. The glittering lights were so bright and so close. It was special sort of magical.

I rested my elbows on my knees and my head between my hands and stared out the windshield at the beautiful black expanse. On my right, Castiel copied my position.

"Jack tells me you like the stars," he said. Upon hearing his name, Jack briefly looked to me and smiled before turning his gaze back to the window. I had been drifting in and out of conversation with various partners throughout the car ride.

"I do, I love them," I kept my voice soft and my answer simple, "I've never seen so many at once before. I don't think I'll ever get used to it." Castiel smiled softly.

"You know, I am several billion years old, and I am still baffled by the magnificence of this universe. Sights like this, they never get old." I turned my head away from the bright lights in the sky to look at the angel beside me.

"Have you been up there?"

He nodded.

"Yes, I have."

"What's it like?"

Castiel sighed in a melancholy sort of way. I could see the reflection of all those stars gleaming in his eyes.

"It's more beautiful than you can imagine."

I nodded and gazed back out at view of the heavens.

"I wish I could live up there."

Castiel chuckled.

"Someday you might. Who knows what will happen?" He said.

"Yeah."

"However," he added, "As for right now, I think you need to get some rest."

"Nah, sleep is for the weak." At that moment I yawned, emphasizing my point. Dean glanced at me in the rear-view mirror.

"We can pull off and stop at a motel overnight if you need some sleep," He offered. I shook my head and tried to blink away my sleepiness.

"Don't stop on my account! I can sleep in the car," I insisted.

"You sure?" Dean asked. I gave him a thumbs up.

"Oh yeah. I actually sleep better in cars, if you can believe it. Something about the noise and the motion puts me to sleep like a baby, I'm all good." For once I told the truth. I really did sleep better in cars.

"Okay, as long as you're comfy, we've got about eight more hours till' we get there." Dean turned down the volume on whatever album we'd been listening to all day. I'd never been a fan of rock music, but some of Dean's songs weren't that bad.

"We'll try to be quiet for you, Marty," Sam said. I yawned again and rubbed my eyes.

"Thanks guys, for everything. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I had a good night's sleep."

"You're welcome, kid. This is what we do. Now shut your eyes." Dean mock commanded. I rolled them instead and turned to Jack.

"Jack?" I said to get his attention.

"Hm?"

"What are your feelings on being used as a pillow?" Jack's face was painted with all shades of confusion.

"I-I don't, um, I-" He tried to answer but I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

"I'm just kidding," I explained. "You don't have a choice in the matter!"

I grabbed his arm and tugged it around my shoulders so I could lay my head on his chest. Jack's entire body stiffened, and he looked to Cas with an expression that said 'Help me, she's doing something weird. Tell me what to do'. Castiel merely shrugged and in the front seat Dean snorted. I chuckled and waited for Jack to shift around a bit and get comfortable before I closed my eyes.

"You're a comfy pillow," I remarked.

"Um, thank you?"

I couldn't see his face, but Jack sounded extremely confused. I decided then that I needed something to hold on to. It took me a few moments to feel around for his arm but when I found it, I gripped his hand and held it up.

"This is mine now."

Wrapping his arm around my waist, I tangled our fingers together and smirked when I felt Jack chuckle and wrap his other arm around me in a way that was friendly and natural.

"If this keeps up, I think we're gonna have to have a talk with Jack about a thing or two." I heard Dean whisper to Sam.

"I heard that."

"Shut up, Mcfly. You're supposed to be sleeping." He scolded, teasingly. I kept my eyes closed but stuck out my tongue at him. I smiled when I heard him laugh.

"Goodnight, guys."

"Goodnight." Dean, Sam and Cas chimed together.

"Sweet dreams, Marty," Jack whispered.

With that, I let myself slowly drift into oblivion's velvet embrace.

***

"Is she asleep, yet?" Dean asked in a whisper, peering in the mirror at the sleeping girl.

"Um, I'm not sure." Jack craned his neck in an effort to find out, but he just couldn't tell.

"I'm trying, Mom," Marty mumbled into Jack's chest. That made him grin.

"From that I'd say, she's close."

"I'm not your mom, Marty," Dean sighed.

"Sorry, dad." She murmured. Dean just shrugged.

"Well, that's a little closer I guess," He said, his lips twitching with a tiny smile.

"Say, Jack, when's the last time you slept?" Sam asked, turning in his seat to face Jack who's face scrunched up as he thought about his answer.

"Four days ago, I think." He replied. Now that he thought about it, Jack realized just how tired he was.

"Dude. Sleep. Now." Dean ordered. Jack blinked a few times and yawned.

"No, I can wait." He yawned again.

"Jack..." Cas pressed.

"I can't go to sleep yet," Jack insisted.

"Why not? Marty back there did it just fine," Dean said.

"Gimmie back my socks, Biden," Marty mumbled.

"See? Out like a flickering lightbulb." Dean joked.

"No, you don't get it. I can't go to sleep, she's right here. She'd think I'm weird or something." Jack worried.

"Well, you're not exactly normal, Jack." Cas muttered under his breath.

"Look, she's the one sleeping on you kid." Dean paused, glancing at the others in the car. "That came out wrong. The point is, she clearly doesn't know the meaning of personal space. Just go for it." He finished, refocusing on the road.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked. Dean's eyeroll was nearly audible.

"Go to sleep, Jack. She ain't gonna care."

Jack nodded.

Snow began to fall on the roof of the Impala with a tip, tip, tipping noise as Jack rested his head atop Marty's. Her hair was soft under his cheek and he matched his breathing with the gentle rise and fall of her chest.

"I love that sound," She sighed, in her half-asleep stupor. Jack guessed she was referring to the sound of the falling snow.

"Me too," he whispered, closing his eyes and drifting off to the same place as the girl beside him.

***

"Jack."

...

"Jack!"

...

"You have got to be kidding me... JACK!"

Jack woke with a start. Blinking rapidly, he attempted to make sense of the world around him. Confusion washed over him as he could have sworn, he had fallen asleep in the Impala next to Marty. But he wasn't there anymore. In fact, he wasn't sure where he was.

Everything was white. The walls, the ceiling, the floor. Well, actually this place didn’t really seem to have walls or a ceiling or a floor. It was all just white, stretching off forever. Behind Jack somebody coughed.

"Behind you," They said, sounding rather annoyed.

Jack turned around slowly and cautiously. Standing in front of him now stood Marty. Her tiny hands on her slim hips and her face twisting into a frown that was somehow amused and annoyed at the same time. She raised her eyebrows at him, and her foot tapped rapidly on whatever surface it was that they seemed to be standing on.

"Heya, Jack." Marty smirked.

Jack's eyes shifted nervously left and right. His hand reached up on its own accord to rub at the knot he felt in his chest. He got the distinct impression that something here wasn't right. He planned to figure out what was going on as soon as he could determine where exactly 'here' was.

"Don't worry Jack, it’s just us. Or, I should say, it’s just you," Marty said, clarifying and confusing things for Jack at the same time. Jack shifted his gaze back to the girl in front of him.

"Where are we?" He asked, his brows drawing together. Marty smiled at him pleasantly.

"We're inside your head!" She answered.

"What?" Jack wondered how she could answer his question while giving him so many more at the same time. She giggled a bit at his confused expression. Spreading her arms like wings, she spun in a circle.

"Look around, Jack! It’s so big! You should be proud!" She stopped spinning to grin at him. The line between Jack's eyebrows and his confusion were deepening quickly. Marty tapped her chin and looked upward with a smirk, as if thinking about something. "But we really should both be proud." She mused.

"Marty, what's going on? Are you okay?" Jack took a step towards the girl reaching his hand out. Marty flicked her eyes up and down between him and his outstretched hand, her expression darkened. She held up her hands in a defensive gesture as she took a few sauntering steps back.

"First of all, I'm not Marty," She stated, evenly. Jack's position instantly switched from inviting to aggressive. He bent his knees and widened his stance, shifting his weight onto the balls of his feet, readying himself for a fight.

"Who are you?! Where is she?! What did you do to her?!" He demanded. His eyes pulsed with an orange light as he prepared to use his powers. The person in front of him, who apparently wasn't Marty, put a hand on her chest, gasping with obvious mockery.

"You wound me, Jack! You're not even going to ask who I am? I thought we were better friends than this." She closed her eyes and shook her head, sighing in an obnoxious and sarcastic way. Jack wasn't having any of this thing's games. He clenched his teeth and raised his hand threateningly.

"Where's Marty?" He growled, trying his best to imitate Sam, Dean, or Cas when they were in similar positions. The not-Marty just rolled her eyes, like she was bored.

"Yeah, no. We ain't doing that in here." She frowned, waving her hand simply. Jack scowled and tried to blast her back with his power, but he abruptly realized that he couldn't. Nothing was happening. She had taken his powers away. His eyes snapped open wide and he stared at his hand. Now he was the one taking a few steps back.

"W-what? I-" Jack stuttered. The not-Marty crossed her arms and leaned back on her heels, taking on a much more relaxed position.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot here, Jack. Can we start over?" She tilted her head and smiled pleasantly at him before sitting cross-legged on the ground. Jack nodded at her with a distrusting expression but hesitantly copied her position.

"Thank you, Jack. I'm sorry about the attitude earlier, it's just that, with this form you gave me, her personality and came with it and then there was your expectations and perception to deal with, so I had to battle through that. I'm very sorry, but I think we're all good now."

Jack was struck by just how pretty the pleasant smile on her face was and had to remind himself that it wasn't really Marty.

"What do you mean? Who are you?" He asked, expecting another vague and confusing answer. The girl giggled, her laugh sounded exactly like Marty's bubbling, wind chime laugh.

"I'm you, Jack!" She replied, brightly.

"No, you're not- you can't- how can you be me? I don't understand," Jack shook his head, bewildered. The girl giggled again.

"I'm not you you, of course. I'm your conscience! Or your sub-conscious or whatever, really." Jack didn't know what to say. Not-Marty leaned forward as if to tell him a secret. "Ya remember what I said about us being inside your head?" She reminded him.

"So, this is a dream?" He asked. She nodded.

"You could call it that, yes. So, you don't have to worry about Marty. When you wake up, she'll be right were you left her, safe, sound, and all cuddled up in your arms." She wrapped her arms around herself, jokingly. Jack nodded, sighing with relief, now he could figure out the rest of this weirdness.

"If you're my conscience, why do you look like Marty?" Was his next question. The girl claiming to be his conscience shrugged.

"You were thinking about her when you fell asleep. It's that simple." Jack nodded slowly.

"This is confusing," he stated. The girl just nodded.

"It is. Let's make it a little less confusing, shall we?" She stretched her hand out for him to shake, "I'm not Marty so how bout' you call me Cricket?"

"Why Cricket?"

"Like Jiminy Cricket! From Pinocchio!" She cheered. Jack took her hand and shook it firmly, still not completely sure he trusted all she was saying.

"Hello Cricket, it's nice to meet you?" He said, more as a question than a statement.

"It's nice to meet you too, Jack!" Cricket giggled for a moment before sobering up in a snap, "But we need to have a talk," She said, her voice grave.

"About what?" Asked Jack, carefully. Cricket chuckled at his apprehensive tone.

"Relax kiddo, it's not like I'm mad at you!" She reassured him.

"Then why am I here? What do we need to talk about?" Cricket frowned; her expression dark.

"We need to talk about Marty," She said. Jack narrowed his eyes.

"What about Marty?"

"There's something off about that girl, but I don't know what it is," Cricket answered.

"Why not?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Well, if you don't know, then I don't know, and we don't know!" She he exclaimed.

"Oh."

"But I'm telling you, all five-foot-two of this," Cricket gestured at Marty's body, "Isn't what it seems." Jack frowned.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, Martina is dangerous," Cricket deadpanned.

"No! She's my friend! She's not dangerous!" Jack protested. Cricket raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Really? How much do you actually know about her? You don't even know her full name," She pointed out, her voice harsh. "She's keeping secrets, Jack."

"No."

"Don't make me the villain here, Jack. You're making me the villain, I'm not!"

"Stop! Get out of my head!" Jack shouted.

"Jack, listen to me. I'm you and I'm trying to protect us!" Jack scrambled to his feet, shaking his head.

"I don't believe you!" The girl in front of him stood too.

"If you won't listen to me, then maybe you'll listen to mom." Then Marty was gone. Standing in her place was Kelly Kline.

"Mom?" Jack whispered he couldn't stop himself inching forward. Kelly opened her arms.

"Jack! Please listen to me, you can't trust that girl. I know she's your friend, but you need to look-" Jack cut her off.

"You're not real!" He said, backing away. In an instant, Kelly was gone, and Cricket came back.

"Fine, suit yourself." Cricket's glared was ferocious and her voice was cruel. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

Jack blinked and when he opened his eyes, Cricket was gone.

***

"We should probably wake em' up," Sam whispered as the Impala rounded the turn off on the dirt road that led to the bunker.

"Wait! Cas, do me a favor," Dean said passing his phone to the angel in the back seat, "take a picture of those two." Jack and Marty were still fast asleep. The only thing that had changed in eight hours on the road was that Marty had grabbed a hand full of Jack's shirt. Taking the phone from Dean's hand, Cas snapped three pictures of the sleeping duo.

"Here." He passed the phone back to Dean who took his eyes off the road to observe the pictures.

"Awesome." Dean grinned. "These are going in the black-mail folder."

"In the what?" Sam asked.

"The black-mail folder, Sammy. You don't have one?"

"Uh, no."

"Your loss," Dean shrugged, turning his attention back to driving. The car was quiet for a few minutes.

"So, what's in the black-mail folder?" Sam asked after a bit. Dean smirked at his brother.

"You'll find out," He said, ominously, "Next time I want something, you'll find out."

Sam decided in that moment that he did not want to find out what was in Dean's black mail folder. As the bunker came into view, Castiel reached over and shook the shoulders of the sleeping pair next to him.

"Jack, Marty, we're here," Cas urged, gently. Jack eye's opened and he blinked the tiredness from them, his neck was stiff, so he stretched it out. Marty, however, did not wake nearly as easily.

"Martina." Cas shook her shoulder again.

"Hmm?"

"Wake up."

"Five more minutes." She murmured. Jack chuckled at her antics.

"Marty, wake up. We're home." Marty's big grey eyes fluttered open and she turned her head to look up at Jack.

"Home?" She sighed.

"Yeah, home," Jack said. Marty sat up and yawned, stretching her arms and rubbing her eyes.

"Home sounds pretty good."

~What story should I tell? Will it end happy? Will it turn out well? What dreams do I own? Can I call any place my home?

And I rock myself to sleep And I tell myself "Don't fall to deep" Cause I know by now You're not comin' for me

And I tell myself "Move along" And I tell myself "You were all wrong" But I know by now Wrong was right for me

I'll sleep peacefully~

Lyrics from: Sleep Peacefully by Lilly Kershaw

[avanatural]

Hi there! I want to compliment you on You Deserve The World. (I didn't mean to write an essay, so apologize for how long this got.) I'm sure we've all read fics about body image issues but I don't think I've ever read one where it's not the reader who's self conscious.

For me, since I can relate, it kind of makes it easier to see myself in the Y/N role, but it's cool and interesting to flip the script and show that guys get self conscious of their bodies too. But it was heartbreaking to read what Dean thinks of himself, and worrying that his younger girlfriend will think he's old. (I mean, Jensen is 18 years older than me but if I saw him on the street and he was interested in me I would not hesitate to seize that opportunity 😉)

In addition to everything you wrote about his physical attributes, I would also like to submit for consideration that those eye crinkles Dean is so put off by are super attractive. I'm not entirely sure why, at least on Jensen, but on Dean... it's a sign of aging, sure, and as he and Sam have both said several times, not many hunters live long enough to reach old age. So those eye crinkles are a visual reminder of how far he's made it.

And I have to agree with other certain physical traits because his shoulders and scruff drive me insane and half the time his eyes don't even look real. I mean I've never seen eyes that gorgeous anywhere else. Is brrathtaking too strong a word? 🤔

And of course his heart. John may have been the one who told him to look out for Sammy but he continued to put him first long after Sam could take care of himself. And Dean absolutely seems the type to help old ladies in the grocery store, whether it's reaching something on a high shelf or carrying the bags to her car.

I felt a lot of things reading how Dean sees himself but seeing how the Reader reassured him of how she sees him, that he's not old, that he's perfect, that he's so good to her and everyone around him, I could not agree more.

I'm sorry this got so long but I needed you to know what an excellent job you did with this fic 🙂

Hi! First of all, there's no need to apologize at all ❤ The fact that you took the time not only to read my story, but also to write such a kind message makes me beyond happy and grateful! 🙏💕

I wanted to emphasize that everybody has insecurities. I think we all experience body image issues at some point, even gorgeous men like Dean. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and found it interesting! 😊

About the eye crinkles, I absolutely agree, I love them on him! His eyes really shine when he smiles, and the crinkles are a beautiful addition 💕 I love what you said about those wrinkles being a reminder of how far Dean has made it, that is so true! It's heartbreaking to think that Sam and Dean couldn't ever give another thought to growing old, let alone growing old happily, because what they do is so dangerous.

Ugh, yes! The shoulders and scruff just drive me crazy! I think breathtaking is 100% the correct word to describe his eyes! 😍 The color, the shape, they truly are breathtaking! 💚

And Dean's heart has got to be one of my favorite things about him! He has that nurturing side to him and that willingness to help others, which I really love!

Thank you for your lovely comment, it made my day! 💖 I loved to read your thoughts, I appreciate that you shared them with me! I really enjoyed your essay 😉😘

I hope you're having a wonderful day! 🙌

[anextraordinarymuse]

Head vs. Heart: Part 1

A discussion on which woman represents Oliver's head (Holly) vs his heart (Shane), complete with gifs. This will cover moments from the Pilot through Truth Be Told.

(@jonesgirl88 KATIE

ARE YOU READY KATIE)

This is going to be so long - I have so many gifs. There will probably be a read more. You've been warned.

Okay so, obviously I still believe that at the time we meet Oliver and Shane Holly is the personification of Oliver's head, and Shane becomes his heart. That got me thinking about all of the moments in the show that led me to believing that. First off, everyone knows that the heart is on the left side of the body. I was curious, so I did a Google search about the left side of the body and what it represents. Now, I'm not saying that I believe this necessarily, but some interesting results came up: the left side of the body is commonly associated with receiving or taking in; the mother; asking for help; and is considered the feminine side. I emphasized those points because I thought they were interesting considering 1) that Oliver's mother abandoned him, and 2) that, as we'll see from the gifs, more often than not when Shane is engaging with the left side of Oliver's body (or he, hers) he's receiving something - usually emotional support and connection.

But really, I was also just thinking that Shane spends a lot of time subconsciously connecting with Oliver's heart. She does this by consistently being present on the left side of his body (physically closest to his heart) in emotionally charged or foundational moments, or Oliver does this by putting/drawing her there. Let's break it down.

Starting here:

The first time Shane asks Oliver to dance, not only is she on his left but she turns so that all of her is oriented toward the left side of his body (his heart). She's also right up in his bubble - and she gets in his bubble a lot. This is before we find out that Oliver doesn't dance, and that he connects this lack of dancing as a reason that his wife was unhappy. Considering how important (and synonymous) dancing becomes to Oliver and Shane's relationship, it's telling that the very first time they do so it's 1) because Shane initiated it, and 2) initiated from Oliver's left side (and physically close to him, not from a distance). But this isn't the moment that first came to mind when I started this project.

This is:

This is after Oliver has shared the pain of his wife leaving him with Shane, and she has shared the pain of her father leaving her at ten years old. Look at where Oliver has drawn her hand into: it's against his chest, over his heart, and completely covered by his own. Shane allows herself to be vulnerable with Oliver and he stops them in the middle of the dance floor and pulls her hand into him like this, so that it's safely sandwiched between his hand and his heart. Oliver doesn't look at her in this moment, but he can't resist connecting with her - and he does so by placing part of her literally against his heart.

After the pilot episode, we jump several episodes forward before we get another moment of connection like this, and it's not surprising that it's in The Masterpiece during that famous dance in the DLO.

Who doesn't love this dance moment? It's easily one of my favorite moments. But I included both of these moments specifically because of the placement of their hands. In the top one, look at the way Oliver once again draws Shane's hand into him. This moment is ridiculously intense: they've stopped moving in any way except toward each other. Oliver's face is getting closer to Shane's and he's once again subconsciously drawing her into his heart (look at the way Shane adjusts her fingers in that top one - it's a tiny movement but it kills me). In the bottom one, Oliver has once again enveloped Shane's hand in his own so completely that you can't actually see it - and he's holding it against his heart. BUT! in that top gif he's staring intensely into Shane's eyes (and at her lips, don't forget that) as he draws her hand in; in the bottom one, his head has kicked in (his duty and promises to Holly and their marriage) and even though Shane is connected to his heart - and he's literally holding her there - he's no longer looking at her, and then he drops her hand and moves away.

In this moment, Shane is his heart (what he wants) and Holly is his head (obligations, promises, duty). We don't see this hand over heart movement again for a while after this, but the symbolism doesn't stop here.

In The Future Me, Oliver and Shane are still at odds. But look at this moment, from early on in the episode. Not only is Shane on Oliver's left, she goes to remove something from his left shoulder and Oliver shies away from her touch. This is interesting for so many reasons: once again, Shane is trying to establish connection with Oliver's heart (aka his left side) and Oliver physically will not let her do so. This is the only time we see him move away from Shane like this - and it happens after their argument about Holly (who, arguably, should be in Oliver's heart ... but maybe isn't there anymore, at least not as firmly as she should be). The moment where Oliver witnesses Ellie removing something from Bobby's shoulder though, Shane is standing to Oliver's left. Interesting ... but let's continue. (gif credit for this gif: alameda and downing blog).

The next time Oliver and Shane dance is at Bobby and Ellie's wedding in The Future Me. At this point, Shane is aware of Oliver's motivations for learning to dance in the first place; they've shared that intense moment in the DLO; and there is no reason for them to dance in this moment, especially if Oliver is trying to follow his head and maintain a professional distance from Shane.

But Oliver wants to dance with her, and his heart wins this moment. Not only is Oliver the one to broach the subject of dancing with an indirect invitation ("We never did get our dance, did we? ... Do you think we could remember the steps?"), but look where Shane is standing. Once again, she's not only on the left side of his body, she's once again turned to face him. This is also interesting blocking since Shane is the one that is more open to/aware of their connection. She's literally facing it, and Oliver, head on. Anyway, after the surprise chemistry of their DLO dance, Oliver lets himself have what he wants in quite an interesting moment: a freaking wedding, of all places. This is also the last time Oliver and Shane dance in the TV series except in flashbacks.

Now, by the time we get to this moment in Dark of Night, we know how much importance Oliver places on this award and those cups. He's proud of his family's work, and the moment he finds out that he and his team are going to receive the Dark of Night award is a huge one for Oliver. In fact, this moment is so foundational that we see it as one of Oliver's flashbacks in The Treasure Box when he's thinking about Shane. And, once again, look where she is:

Not only is she on his left, she's physically connecting with him in that moment, on that side - again. This is even after Oliver has overheard Shane's conversation with Becky and presumably come to the conclusion that Shane is romantically interested in him. And then we get to The Treasure Box. My gosh, my love for this episode knows no bounds. But that's beside the point. (I have a lot of gifs for this one.)

As Oliver and Shane really settle in to reading the letters and connecting with Jonathan and Katherine, we get this moment of Shane seated on the desk to Oliver's left.

Shane spends a lot of time in this episode on Oliver's left. One of the moments that I find interesting that I didn't gif is near the end, when Shane is so upset over thinking that Katherine died (and that they might die). As she becomes increasingly distressed Oliver audibly tries to connect with her by calling her Shane, which she doesn't seem to realize or respond to - so Oliver moves to his left, around the desk, and comes to embrace her. And Shane sees him coming and actually turns to face him but backs up a step or two before letting him approach. I just find this interesting because, at least from the way the scene is shot, it looks like it would have been a shorter distance for Oliver to step to his right and around the desk. It's probably nothing, but still. It made me wonder.

Let's also mention Holly's letter, because earlier in the episode we get to see where Oliver puts it when he's finished writing it:

In his inner left breast pocket. Now, this is the only inside pocket on a suit jacket, but I'm left wondering why he puts it there when we were shown not many moments before that Oliver has his briefcase with him. He easily could have put it in there for safe keeping, but he doesn't. He puts it in a place that's close to his heart, and it stays there ... until after he and Shane read those letters and are free to leave the vault, at which point the letter falls out and Shane is the one to return it to him with the words "you forgot this." Oliver puts the only physical piece of Holly we've seen up to this point close to his heart and it literally will not stay there - and he doesn't even know that it's gone until Shane points it out. I think it's safe to say that at this point, Holly's grasp on Oliver's heart is tenuous at best. It's not an organic connection - Oliver is consciously having to put her there, and her presence is being overshadowed more and more by Shane. Nothing truly tangible of Holly is left in Oliver's heart, just memories and echoes.

This moment is just cute. But also, look at Shane's hand: it's completely covering Oliver's left hand and wedding ring.

.... And apparently I've hit the limit for number of gifs you can put per post! LOL!! I guess even tumblr is telling me that we're going too deep, but whatever. That just means we're moving on to a part two!