#if they would read it and realize what they did wrong or if they would get defensive.
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xxsquiddkiddxx · 3 days ago
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Heels ~ Viktor x Reader
Pronouns for reader: She/Her
Relationship type: Platonic, romantic feelings, slight enemies to lovers if you unfocus your eyes a bit
General Idea: Viktor used to hate the sound of those damn boots of hers, but now he's grown to find an odd sense of comfort in the noise. Along with... a series of other feelings.
Content Warnings: Fluff, swearing, Viktor being sassy, s1 Viktor, Takes place between S1E3~E4, Viktor's kinda down bad but in a denial way, Viktor also isn't good at realizing he has feelings for the reader, Jayce needs a 32hr nap
A/N: My Viktor headcanons got a LOT more love than I thought they would... so I decided to write some more Viktor XD
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(Nobody's POV, but it's mostly told. through Viktor's thoughts)
~☆~
The lab was pretty much silent. The only sounds heard were the sounds of Viktor tinkering with a Hextech device and the occasional flipping of pages as (Y/N) read some notes that Jayce had written. It was late, definetly past midnight as the two worked.
"(Y/N)," Viktor says, breaking the silence. The girl's head pops up at the sound of her name. "Come here for a second? I need a second pair of hands."
"Be right there." She says, finishing the page she was on. She stands up and walks towards him, the sound of her boots hitting the tile as she walks.
Clack
Click
Clack
Viktor used to hate the sound of her boots. "Those damn boots are so annoying," He had complained to Jayce during the first week of (Y/N) working as a part-time assistant. "Click clack click clack, drives me insane!" He had mocked before sighing.
"Viktor... don't both your boots AND your cane make that noise as well?"Jayce had responded, raising an eyebrow with a teasing smile. This made Viktor at a loss for words.
"Well... It's annoying when she does it!" He had sassed back in response, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
That was 3 years ago. Now, he found a weird sense of comfort in hearing the sound of her boots hit the floor. He couldn't explain why, enjoyment of familiarity maybe?
"What's up?" (Y/N) says, standing behind Viktor. The smell of her perfume was almost overwhelming to him, overloading his senses. Which was weird, seeings as it must've been almost 13 hours since she'd last applied perfume. And that doesn't last long... was he delusional? Or maybe just tired? Whatever. It doesn't matter.
"Yeah, I just need you to hold this in place." Viktor says, not even looking up from what he's doing. He gestures to a little piece of metal he's holding. (Y/N) leans over Viktor and holds the piece in place as requested. The scientist trys his best to ignore the feeling of her closeness and the racing of his heart... holy crap was it warm in here? It must've been. Although it seemed strange to him that it was magically warm in here all of a sudden. This spirals him into a memory, a memory that took place a little less than a week prior to now.
Viktor sat at his desk, for once not to work on Hextech, but to run his hands through his hair and stay deep in thought.
"Viktor?" Jayce asked. "Are you OK? You haven't been as focused as you normally are today. Did something happen?"
"I think... I think there's something genuinely wrong with me." Viktor says. "Like... maybe I'm coming down with something?? I don't know." Viktor stands up, leaning on his cane slightly for support.
"Oh?" Jayce asks, raising an eyebrow. "Could you, uh, possibly elaborate on that?"
"Well, for one everytime Ms.(L/N) comes near me I about have a damn heart attack." Viktor says, his cane clacking softly on the floor as he paces. "Like yesterday, perfect example. She accidently brushed my hand when she was passing me a paper and I actually thought I was dying."
Jayce suppresses a smile, trying not to laugh. Was Viktor really getting THIS worked up... over a little crush? "Oh?" Jayce says, still suppressing a smile. "Is that it?"
"Whenever she's near me, I swear to the gods that I become hyperaware of... like... everything." Viktor says. "Like the room feels warmer, her perfume or her shampoo is ALL I can smell, I'm almost convinced I know every single speckle of color in her eyes... I think I might actually be going crazy." Viktor says, stopping his pacing. "I'm positive. I've actually hit the breaking point and am decending into insanity."
Jayce now can't help but laugh. Maybe it was his lack of sleep from working on Hextech for days on end, maybe it was the seriousness in Viktor's voice about his "decent to madness." Jayce's laughter came out as almost wheezes due to how hard he was laughing.
Viktor throws his hands up in exasperatedness. "Jayce!" Viktor scolds. "This ISN'T funny! There's-"
This just makes Jayce laugh more and more. "Yes it is, Viktor." Jayce manages to say through wheezes. He's holding onto the desk for support as he laughs. It gets to the point where passersby become mildly concerned for the scientist's wellbeing. "I assure you you're not decending to madness."
"Then what the hell is going on????" Viktor exclaims, collapsing into his chair.
"Relax you just have a little crush, it's fine." Jayce says, wiping the tears of laughter away as he tries to steady his breathing.
"Viktor?" The sound of his name snaps him out of the memory. "You good? I think I said your name like five times." (Y/N) says with a chuckle. Viktor shakes his head slightly.
"Uh, yeah. I'm fine." Viktor says, continuing what he was doing. He tried to ignore the slight shake in his hands, the side of his own hand pressed against Ms. (L/N)'s own hand. When he's done. He about throws the screwdriver down. "Thank you for your assistance." Viktor says, the weight off his shoulders earning a little sigh of relief.
"Was that all you needed?" (Y/N) asks.
"I'm pretty sure, yeah." Viktor says. (Y/N) hums in response, walking over to her desk. Click, clack, click, clack. Her boots echo in the room. She grabs her coat and walks towards Viktor again.
"I'm gonna head out then." She says. Click, clack, click, clack. The sound of her boots ring in Viktor's head, a haunting sound that he didn't actually mind having on replay in his brain. "You should too soon." She says, her voice kind and soft.
Viktor's stomach feels like it's about to leap out of his body. Even though it was scientifically impossible, he couldn't help but worry about it. "I will soon." He says, the softness in his voice actually shocking him. Normally he'd just lie out his teeth and sleep in the lab, or not sleep at all. However, when he said that he would... he truly meant it. His eyes move away from the project and to (Y/N). "I'm just gonna finish this little bit up."
(Y/N) smiles, it's tired and small, but it's still a smile nonetheless. Seeing her smile along made the corners of his lips feel like they were moving on their own. He suppresses a smile the best he can, but it still shows on his face. "Goodnight, Viktor." She says, her voice still soft. She didn't speak full volume, and that for some reason made Viktor's heart rate skyrocket.
"Goodnight, (Y/N)." He says, the same tone and volume as (Y/N). She turns and walks out of the room. Click, clack, click, clack. He listens to the sound of her shoes until they completely fade out.
"Relax you just have a little crush, it's fine."
Viktor didn't have a crush on (Y/N)... did he?
~☆~
For more fics: my masterlist
Feel free to request fics!!!
~Squeed
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sunnysidesevenup · 1 day ago
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SSR - Arlo Wake - Applepom
Vignette - Not Here For You Guys (Part 1)
read fic under the cut!
“So that’s two.” Epel says, looking between the odd collection of NRC students before him. He sighs, “Where are we going to get a third person, though?”
“I find it a bit odd that you haven’t asked your fellow Pomefiore dorm members. Vil and Rook, I understand, but…” Jade tilts his head to the side, indicating one of the tables near them. Epel’s eyes follow his direction, but the minute he spots the person being pointed out, he grimaces.
“That’s not a good choice, either!” He protests, but Jade’s mouth simply curls into a smile.
“Hmm? He seems like a perfectly good candidate to me. Let me go get him.” Before the first year can stop him, the mer is already walking away to retrieve his target.
“I’m not familiar with that one.” Sebek says, scrutinizing the two second years who now seem to be having an argument of some sort. “He doesn’t seem like he’d be any good in an athletic competition.”
Epel groans. “His athletics isn’t the problem!”
“And what exactly is the problem with me?”
“Ack!” The first year startles, looking up to the two mer who have now appeared beside their table. Jade is smiling, but Arlo looks incredibly annoyed—not that that’s much different than usual. He narrows his eyes further as he takes in the group settled around the table.
Well, he’s here already, so it would be fine to at least ask, right?
“Umm, nothing! Actually, we were looking for another person. You see, there’s this sled race in Harveston, and—“
“Oh, that.” The mer interrupts, tilting his head. “I should have realized you were going to that too.”
“Yeah—“. Epel stops, “Wait, too?!”
“Oh my.” Jade’s eyes widen, “This is unexpected. You already know about this?”
“The race truly is that famous and rigorous, then?” Sebek asks excitedly.
Arlo glances at the Diasomnia first year, raising an eyebrow. “Uh, no. I don’t care about things like that.”
“And I suppose it would be wrong of me to hope that you were similarly interested in Mount Moln…” Jade sighs, shaking his head. “I can only dream.”
Arlo turns to the mer, a look of disgust on his face. “What are you talking about?”
“Neither you or Floyd have any taste, of course…”
“Jade, I swear…”
“Wait, wait!” Epel holds up his hands, temporarily interrupting the two childhood friends. “Seriously, what’d ya’ mean ‘too’?!”
Arlo tilts his head, “I was invited to watch the race.” He says simply, as if it answers the question.
“Wh-?! By who?!” Epel suddenly gets a stricken look on his face. “Don’t tell me—“
Much to the Pomefiore student’s horror, his upperclassman’s cheeks flush a bit red, something that only happens with mention of one specific person. “It doesn’t really matter who it was, does it?” He spits back harshly.
“Oh?” Jade perks up, a smirk on his face. “My, I haven’t seen that reaction from you in a very long time. Who might we be talking about?”
Arlo shoots him a glare, “It’s none of your business, you fungi obsessed freak.”
“Your words do hurt, you know.” Jade says, entirely unfazed.
“No way, Neige invited you?” Epel blinks at the mer in shock. “And you’re going? To MY hometown? With HIM?”
Arlo stares back at him, unimpressed. “It’s only polite to accept an invitation when you’re invited.” He says, like a liar.
“Neige…?” Jade tilts his head. “…Neige LeBlanche? The actor?”
“No, the florist.” Arlo rolls his eyes, “Obviously the actor.”
“I was simply surprised, is all.” Jade grins widely at him. “Although, perhaps I shouldn’t be—that was your type, wasn’t it?”
Arlo’s eyes widen, and then his face flushes bright red even as it immediately contorts in anger. “Shut up! I don’t have a type! And even if I did, he’s not—! Ugh! You’re so annoying! This is why Floyd is the better twin. I wish he would’ve eaten you.” He viciously continues insulting his fellow mer, all while Jade grins on victoriously.
Epel just stares on in despair. “So… not only do we still need to find another person, but Arlo will be there? With Neige?” He mentally starts calculating the chances of Arlo telling on him to Vil. Maybe he’ll be too distracted…? Or—
“Jade, I swear to the Great Seven if you say a single word more about this I will make sure to rip off your tail fins and eat them in front of you.” Arlo finishes, threat hissed in a low tone with his finger pointed at the other boy’s chest. It’s rather comical, considering the height difference, if only Arlo didn’t seem serious about it.
“Wh-?!” Sebek splutters from off to the side, having mostly stayed out of it yet maintaining a disappointed look. “Eat them—?!”
Arlo turns his frightening glare onto him next, anger not sparing a single person no matter their involvement. Epel, unfortunately, is used to it.
He sighs, “Uh… so you’ll be going to Harveston tomorrow too, then…?” He asks hesitantly, conscious of making the older boy even angrier.
The mer crosses his arms. “Yes. I suppose we’ll be seeing each other in the morning, then.” He scoffs.
“Right…”
“I’m leaving now.” Arlo announces, and then throws another glare at Jade, who seems to be radiating smug happiness. “Don’t talk to me.” He hisses.
“See you tomorrow.” Jade calls at his retreating back. Arlo makes a rude gesture over his shoulder.
“I see what you were saying now.” Sebek comments. “We’re better off without him on the team.”
“Yeah…” Epel sighs, “We still need a third person, though…”
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likelikedirtycute · 6 hours ago
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I believe you have good intentions. But what you said was this:
…did he violate her? This would imply ill, malicious intent on his part.
Take a second to think through what you wrote and how it applies to real life examples of assault and rape. You know that statement perpetuates rape culture.
You’re right that in real life, the victim gets to define their experience for themselves. But in a fictional narrative, that doesn’t apply, and there is no reason not to call a violation what it is.
Acknowledging that this fictional instance was a violation doesn’t mean yelling at a 12 year old that he’s a rapist. Again, I believe you have good intentions, but try to examine why you have such a knee-jerk reaction here. Why does even the abstract idea of acknowledging that a young boy violated a young girl feel equivalent to yelling at him that he’s a horrible rapist forever?
When we’re talking in the abstract, not “to” either character, why is the first thought about how he would feel if it was said to him, and not how she would feel having her sadness and frustration validated? (And you can argue that if Katara were real, she might not want to call this a violation, since it doesn’t get addressed on screen either way. But she was canonically sad and angry - that’s shown to us extremely clearly on screen.)
When you say “acknowledge the behavior is wrong” - that’s what we’re doing when we talk about this fictional event as a violation. If Aang was a real person, talking to him about why this was wrong would have to include acknowledging that another human being’s autonomy was violated, and that he did that.
Again, that doesn’t mean yelling or saying he’s irredeemable, but the desire to shy away from acknowledging the truth of what happened is one of the ways that rape culture is perpetuated. Part of teaching the lesson and allowing children to grow is being clear about what they did wrong.
I also want to mention the part about “under the assumption that said child reciprocated said feelings.” Imagine if Aang, or any 12 year old boy offers a friend tea or a snack. He really wants to have a snack with his friend, and he genuinely thinks his friend will want to as well. Friend says “it’s not the right time right now.” He says “well when is the right time?” Friend says “I don’t know, I’m confused.”
If you asked the 12 year old, whether it’s Aang or a hypothetical child “Do you still think your friend wants a snack right now as much as you do?” - what do you think he’d say?
If those words aren’t said, if there’s no communication or very ambiguous communication from either side, then yes, that’s is a situation where someone might misstep because they believe the other person feels the same way. It still absolutely can be violating, and that’s why it’s best for the person wanting to initiate contact to communicate. But that’s the kind of thing that a child might not realize as they are first navigating these things, because even adults sometimes think they are reading someone correctly and it turns out they’re not.
That’s what you’re treating this situation as, but that’s not what happened. Katara’s words were clear and would not be understood as reciprocation in any other context. If Aang was under the impression that Katara returned his feelings, it’s because he made a decision that what she was saying wasn’t real or didn’t matter. Him believing his feelings were reciprocated isn’t a justification or even context for the violation - it is a fundamental part of it.
"You can like Zutara without disliking Aang" Sure I can. But why do I have to?
I think I'm justified in disliking Aang. "He has good traits" If someone treats their partner poorly, it is very well justified to not like them, and even if they are a nice person to everyone else but their partner. That's even worse.
Aang violated Katara twice during the show. "He's 12" But she was 14. That is a VERY good reason to not like him. If this was any other show, you would never let it slide. But because he's 12 and squishy, it's okay. But what about Katara? Are you forgetting the person he hurt?
The way he treats her in their married life is insane too. People forget Aang grew up to be an adult but don't hold him accountable because he's the Avatar.
Also, "Katara could never hate Aang" but why couldn't she? If a friend of mine were to kiss me without my consent, am I not allowed to hate him for what he did because he's nice? If a writer were to write Katara to hate Aang it would be logical. It would be her full right to. He violated her.
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47lake · 3 days ago
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pretty on camera
you looked over at the alarm clock on your side table. it read 12:38 am, you were up late studying for a surprise exam you have tomorrow that you just found out about today, super fun. you couldn't focus, you kept thinking about her, you knew you shouldn't. billie was your closest friend, besides she doesn't think of you that way, why would she? you were mulling over the idea of giving up and calling it a night when your phone screen lit up the room.
bil
wyd
sent 12:43 am
could she hear your thoughts? you sat there for a moment thinking of a response.
not much, just studying
fuck me i hate this class
sent 12:44
you watched those three little dots pop up and go away for what felt like an eternity. did she fall asleep? why won't she just send her message?
bil
well damn i've been trying 😒
sent 12:49
your stomach flipped. she's just kidding. she has to be kidding, right?
don’t play with me
sent 12:50
bil
why not? you'd like it anyways 🥱
sent 12:51
you quickly locked your phone and shoved your face in your pillow. did she really just say that? is she really doing this? is she drunk? what is going on???
you picked your phone up and watched it ring, your heart was already beating from the texts but now you’re expected to be able to actually talk to her?! you slowly pressed accept and held it up to your ear.
“hi.” you could hear her smiling, her voice always changes when she smiles, “hey,” you say a bit too excitedly. your face and ears heat up, how could she get this much of a reaction out of you so easily? “so what are you up to?” you practically blurted out, maybe if you filled the air your mind wouldn’t run with all the ways ways she could tou- “not much,” her voice cutting your thoughts off, “i was just thinking.” she could tell you were nervous, and you hated it. “thinking about what?” you heard her chuckle, she could be so cocky “oh you know, this and that.” you stared at your wall, “you’re the one that called me, you remember that right?”
she went quiet for a second, you were shocked. usually when you make a crack at her she’ll tell you to shut up or make one back, what was up with her? “sorry, you just make me nervous sometimes.” you could tell she was embarrassed, you were surprised. she never acts like this, usually it’s all “i’m so cool and tough blah blah blah” it worked for her though, she could pull off anything she wanted to, even your- you zoned back in remembering she’s on the other end of the phone.
“only sometimes?” you asked, trying to seem unbothered, and failing unfortunately. “actually i meant to say you make me nervous all the time pretty girl” your entire face heated up after she said that, you covered your mouth in disbelief she was actually talking to you like this. “you there?” she asked, she knew you were there, hell she was practically giggling at the way you were reacting to what she was saying. “yeah i’m here,” putting your head in your hand when you realized you just stuttered when you answered her. she’s gonna have a field day with this. “something wrong?” you heard her smile, god why is she so fucking cocky. “no nope! i’m totally fine don’t worry,” too much. she definitely knew now. fuck.
“can i tell you something?” why was she asking you, you both knew she was gonna tell you anyways “i think about how pretty you would sound all the fucking time.” you heard a gasp fall out of your mouth. you couldn’t think, “billie..” did you really just say that?? god you really hated how easily she got to you. “you like that?” how is she so fucking hot so easily, she isn’t even trying. “yeah,” it’s like your mouth had a mind of its own. you could feel yourself soaking through your panties, if she could see you like this you knew she would love it.
you pulled your phone away from your ear as it lit up with a facetime request. your mind raced, picturing what was about to happen. you pressed accept.
quickly you saw her face pop up on your screen, you smiled without realizing. "someone's happy to see me." you rolled your eyes knowing she was right, "shut up." you propped your phone up, putting most of your body in view as you sat up in your bed. you watched her scan you over, there wasn't much to see. you were in a off the shoulder sweatshirt with some pj shorts, nothing exciting. however she seemed to be utterly captivated.
"fuck," she said quietly, taking you in. you still weren't sure how your current appearance was this exciting. "take your shirt off." you sat there in shock, "what?" making sure you heard her correctly. "i said take your shirt off pretty girl, come on you can listen can't you?" your face went hot but you did as she said, you could feel her gaze against your skin as you tossed the shirt to the side, revealing your bare chest. "god you're so perfect, you have no idea how long i've wanted this." you felt the heat between your thighs start to pool in your shorts. she hadn't even done anything yet, how were you getting this worked up??
"did you hear me?" she asked, fuck were you really that zoned out?? "I'm sorry what'd you say?" she laughed and you hid your face in your hands, making it obvious how nervous she made you. "i asked how bad you want me." you gasped and felt your whole body heat up, "can i show you?" you asked quietly, she nodded and watched as you pulled your shorts and panties off, leaving you fully exposed.
you slowly trailed your fingers down and started circling your clit. "i think about you fucking me all the time billie, please." her gaze low as her eyes darted around your body, trying to take everything in. "you are so fucking good, you look so beautiful." you giggled now that she was the flustered one. "go faster," wow, she regained her composure quick. you did as you were told and started to moan out, imagining your fingers were her's. "look at you, so desperate for me, you've wanted this for a long time haven't you?" her words sending shivers across your skin, you loved how she was talking to you. "you look so pretty on camera." you moaned her name and she started to breathe heavier as she watched you dip your fingers into your center, easily sliding in. "look at how wet you are, all this is just for me?" your back arched and your free hand gripped the sheets beneath you. "yes billie, it's just for you." you started to pick up momentum and she watched in aw as you fucked yourself for her to watch. you felt a knot forming in your stomach, biting your lip as you body began to shake. "what do you want?" you whimpered, she knew what you wanted but you were too shy. "i want you to say it sweet girl." you whined as you tried to hold it together, "please let me cum for you billie, please." you watched her cocky grin come back, "i love the way you beg, go ahead pretty girl. make a mess just for me." you finally released against your fingers, laying back as you tried to catch your breath. "that's my girl."
i’ve tried to post this like 20 times istg
thank you for the request! hope you enjoyyy, send any reqs to inbox!🖤
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lightlycareless · 2 days ago
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I was reading your scorned ex husband stories and they made me so sad(especially the second one) then I started thinking about the twin au and like what if the twins parent trap them in a different divorced au? Lol. Naoya is still a dick obviously for splitting up twins(seriously who would do that??) but maybe not completely irredeemable for Y/N to forgive him 🥺 Hehe this is just something silly I thought up and wanted to share
Hellooooooo
Heheh this got me watching the movie again, right in the nostalgia. It had been so long since I last saw it that I actually didn't remember most of it, but I do think however: how the hell did they think that was a good idea 🤣 gee, talk about parent of the year.
Anyways, some liberties were taken to make the story work, though the premise is essentially the same.
Also, these are the works anon is referring to :) Ex-husband 1 & Ex-husband 2. Now onto the warnings:
Warnings: none major. Naoya is an a_hole, as always. Naomi and Naori are adorable, but poor kids seriously :'(.
Happy reading!!
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If Naoya does this, you effectively hate him from that point forward.
It is non-negotiable, you never want to see him ever again, especially after the cruel words he used to justify the separation of his children:
“I only ever cared about Naori anyways.”
You made it your life-long purpose to keep Naomi from someone as despicable as her father—though it hurt you to do so, for it also meant you’d be away from your beloved son; just 2 years into his life… you barely got to make any memories with him before he was stripped away from your arms.
But such was the divorce agreement: the two would keep one child, and out of their lives.
Naoya remains in Kyoto with his son at the Zen’in estate, while you move back to Tokyo, close to your family but distant enough to have your own apartment. Just the two of you, the little home you always wanted.
In an unexpected turn of events, Naomi and Naori would go on completely unaware of each other until enrolling in the same elementary school.
It was almost undetectable at the beginning since Naomi now had your last name—but once teachers and students alike began to realize their physical similarities, it became impossible to ignore.
“No… we don’t look alike.” Naori would quietly complain. Out of the two, he was the least enthusiastic about this advancement, doing his best to avoid the limelight due to his reserved nature.
However, that wouldn’t mean anything to Naomi: ever the bubble one, she was nothing but to have a new best friend that looked just like her!
“We’re almost like twins!” she gasped—same hair color, eyes, height… how could they not? “I’ve always wanted a baby brother too.”
“Well, I don’t! And I could be older too, you know? Besides, why would I want a sister that’s weak and ugly…?”
Intended to hurt her, Naomi only laughed at his words, for it would take much more than that to bring her down—one could even say that the two were reflections of their respective parents in that matter: the only contrast between the two, as a matter of fact.
“That’s not true!” she happily refuted, taking hold of his hand and heading to the playground. “Now, come on! I want to go on the swings, and I need someone to push me!”
Though Naori was greatly unwilling at first, he’d soon warm up to her, mainly because she was part of the few, if not the only, kid that didn’t bother him because of his shyness; always rushing to the rescue whenever bullies began to swarm him, as well as reassure him there was nothing wrong with being the way he was.
And if that wasn’t enough, the food Naomi began to share with him (courtesy of you, after much insistence from her part) effectively validated their friendship.
“When will you ever bring him over?” you tease, it’s the happiest you’d ever seen your daughter! And for that, you couldn’t help but feel glad and obligated to repay the favor.
“I don’t know, mama. Nori-kun tells me his papa can be quite strict.”
You chuckle.
“Well, I’m sure I can convince him next time the parents have a meeting at school.”
“His papa doesn’t go to school.” Naomi frowns, her words making you sad for the poor child. “Says he’s too busy.”
“Oh, that’s awful. Well, what about the mama?”
“He doesn’t have one.”
Your heart longs to comfort him.
If they only knew…
And as time went on and their friendship flourished even more, so did their interests for one another; beyond those of their favorite colors and toys, and more into… personal grounds.
Matters that had always quietly hurt Naori one way or the other since he could remember; more so since you had been nothing but sweet and kind to a figuratively unknown kid, which highlighted the fact he never had that one thing he always wished for.
What he might never have, since his father has long given up on it, considering the way he coldly changes the subject, or completely ignores it. Naori simply… doesn’t talk about it.
Until now.
“Why don’t you have a dad?” He dares to ask; it’s no secret that the one to pick him up at school is one of his father’s many subordinates, always changing, not enough to be interesting to the other parents outside of how rich (or a jerk) he must be to have employees pick up his child.
Compared to you, always spoken of fondly for the following reasons:
If it was Valentine’s Day, you’d send Naomi with a big box of candies so she could share with all the class.
Halloween was the same, even hosting small gatherings if the children wished to celebrate in a safe environment.
If it was a classmate’s birthday, you always made sure to send them a personal gift or attend their birthday party. Your gifts might’ve put some parents to shame from time to time, but it didn’t matter, you kind of grew to be some kind of celebrity thus a few always tried to be on your good side—or Naomi’s, so to speak.
Naomi’s birthday… well, some fought to be on the guest list.
In other words,you were an amazing for both kids and parents alike, enough to inspire Naori to daydream about what it would be to have a loving mother like you—to always be at the door once it was time to leave, patiently waiting for the moment your daughter would come into view and subsequently pick her up into a tight, warm hug, followed by a kiss and wide smile as you urged Naomi to tell you all about her day.
Or more importantly, wonder if you were open to adopting him.
“Oh… that—I… don’t know!” Naomi responds truthfully. “Mama never talks about him.”
“Have you asked her?”
“Once or twice, but all she says is that I should focus on my studies!
But I can see how sad she gets whenever I mention him.” She continues. “Mama isn’t very good at hiding “adult talk” and neither is my auntie, so I always get to hear how lonely she is when they talk about him! … and how she should try dating other people, or whatever that means, so she wouldn’t feel like that anymore.”
“I think is when you marry someone.” Naori tries to explain, Naomi scowls out of disgust.
She doesn’t like the idea of sharing her mama with someone else, grows somewhat jealous too.
Well, maybe if it was Uncle Nanami, he’s always been nice to her and her mama. Not Geto because she plans on marrying him herself.
And she supposes her papa too… but how could someone you love make you sad?
“I don’t want her marrying anyone.” Naomi shakes her head. “She’s happy with me!”
“But don’t you wonder about your dad?” he asks. “What did he look like? How did he meet your mom?”
Or how they fell in love?
Naturally. Because just as Naori, and even after you tried your hardest to distract her from it… she too longed to have a father. Someone to play with her after finishing all her homework, put her over his shoulders and let her see the world from his height, or protect her from the monsters that lived inside the closet…
There must be an answer to both of their mysteries—people don’t simply disappear.
And such, is how they assigned themselves a new mission; a task of the upmost importance, requiring all their attention and care if they wish to uncover why they only have one parent—and who was such peculiar character.
Anything that could hint such solution is a chance they’d take, however…
To Naomi, this endeavor proved quite fruitless, for any indication of your past relationship was effectively ripped from the evidence. Quite literally: thousands and thousands of pictures cut in half, neatly removing the person that accompanied her mother—whom she assumed to be her father. And that’s without mentioning your consistent disapproval of the matter. Naomi was right where she began.
This lack of advancement both frustrated her and placed more pressure onto Naori’s efforts, which shockingly, turned to be quite more than what they bargained for. Getting results neither could’ve imagined, not even in their wildest dreams…
“Naomi-chan… I’m not sure if you’re ready to see this.” Naori would caution as he placed down a large wooden box before her, filled with his findings.
“Why? Why not, Naori-kun?” she frets, surely it couldn’t be anything too outrageous.
…Could it?
Yes, it could. And it was.
Because beyond the astonishing realization that all the pictures Naori brought were in virtually perfect shape…
The fact they both recognize the people in the photo, Naomi’s mother, wearing that same bright eyed, wide smile look on her face whenever particularly excited. Happy—alongside Naori’s father, with his usual dyed hair, ear piercings, and striking eyes…
Holding two newborn babies—named Naomi and Naori such as the inscription in the back stated, alongside their birth time and date (Naomi is older, at last is known) …
Is what truly shocked them.
You. Naoya.
Naomi and Naori.
Mama and papa.
A family, for all intents and purposes.
What everyone around them proclaimed: siblings.
Naomi and Naori were siblings. Twins.
“Does that mean we—”
Naori nods. If it hadn’t been obvious enough by now.
Nonetheless, as thrilling as this discovery was, for it essentially made their respective dreams come true… another question arose. One that undoubtedly could not proceed unanswered.
“Why aren’t our parents together?”
Or most importantly:
“How can we get them back together?”
“But what if they don’t want to?” Naori frets.
“I told you already! Mama looks very happy wit him, and auntie says she’s very lonely too… besides, if they get back together that means we’ll finally be a happy family! And isn’t that what you wanted?”
Naori presses his lips together, nodding.
“I want a happy family too. I’ve always wanted a papa to play with!” Naomi continues.
“And a mom to hug…” Naori adds. “What do we do?”
First…
Get them together, face to face. In other words, talk. It’s how adults always preached problems got solved.
Since you had given Naomi the impression you’re not interested in anything pertaining to Naori’s dad, she had to get creative. Force you into a position where you wouldn’t be able to ignore her as you’ve done before—and one where Naoya would inevitably have to go to school too.
It had to be a convincing excuse, and since the two were children in need of dire solutions, their innocent minds led them to the most extreme resolution yet.
“I need you to punch me.” Naomi says, determined.
“Why?!” he gasps.
“Because I need to get hurt for mama to come, and if you’re the one in trouble they’ll have to call your papa, and then, the two will be here, just as we planned!”
“Can’t we do something less dangerous…?” Naori doesn’t like the idea of getting in trouble with his strict dad, as if he weren’t insufferable enough…
“No, Naori. It must be this!”
“But I don’t want to punch you…”
“Come on, we have to do it to have a family!!” she insists. “Or do you not want mama to make you food every day? To hug you too??”
He swallows.
“I do.”
“Then do it!”
And… he does. After taking a deep breath, clenching his fist and hitting Naomi in what she could only describe the weakest punch she could’ve ever anticipated. Surely, not enough to make this case convincing.
“Naori! You have to hit harder than that!”
“I—I tried!” he cries.
“No, you didn’t!” she cries back. “You didn’t even try!”
“Ye—yes I did!” Naori frowns. “It’s not my fault I’m not as strong as you!”
“Yeah, right! You’re a boy, you’re supposed to hit harder!” Naomi adds, smirking soon after an idea crosses her mind. “… Then I guess you don’t really want a mama.”
“I do want a mom…”
“No, it’s fine. I should’ve known not to trust you with something so important anyways—” she says, words that brush each and every one of Naori’s insecurities. “You’re just as weak as everyone else says…”
With a frown on his face, and a sour tightness in his chest, little Naori quickly clenched his fist and prepared himself to prove her wrong once and for all. Show that he wanted this just as much as she did—if not more.
Naomi was trying her best to get a rise out of Naori, everything necessary to motivate a genuine hit out of him and get their plan in motion—she never meant any of those words, intended to apologize after all was said and done, though she doubted it would matter once they got what they sought after.
But it was almost comical how it happened, how he miscalculated his steps, how far his hand had to travel to hit Naomi, and how he ended up doing far more than necessary: but convincingly so, in the end. Tripping over her and sending the two tumbling down, loudly hitting the ground in such a motion that had them scraping their skin, and of course, tears following suit.
“Maaaaaaa, I want my mamaaaaa.” Naomi intuitively cried, tightly holding onto the teacher as the two were sent to the infirmary.
Naori didn’t cry much for his father, he rarely did considering his prominent absence, but just one look at his teary face and trembling lip, and it was obvious whom he sought for comfort—the same one the school somehow convinced to come along and deal with this unfortunate incident.
As well as the supposed altercation that made way for all this to happen in the first place.
“No, what do you mean a fight??” You’re the first to arrive, demanding a believable explanation from the teacher. “That’s not—that doesn’t sound like my daughter!”
“I know, I thought the same… but that’s what the kids are saying.” She explains. “That Naomi-chan was inciting Naori-kun to punch her, and that she was even saying awful things to get him to do that. I don’t know what they were doing, if they were playing a game or… I don’t know; all of it is so weird—I’m sorry.”
You sigh.
“It’s fine. There’s no need to stress when it’s already happened.” You explain. “Is the parent of the child here already?”
“Should be soon, but I don’t know if he’s actually coming, Naori’s dad isn’t quite… present.”
You frown at the name.
“Naori? Wasn’t he Naomi’s best friend?”
She nods.
“It just makes everything even more unbelievable… really, what’s gotten to them?”
You hope to figure such when speaking to the poor child your daughter allegedly antagonized, after apologizing for such behavior of course. Which you’d have to deal with after returning home—Naomi… seriously, what could’ve possibly gone through her mind to incite such act? Was she being bullied? Did Naori suddenly decide he no longer wanted to be friends with her?
And why did his name appear to be so… familiar?
You’d figure it out soon enough when entering the infirmary, quickly scanning across the room for your daughter—only to freeze upon locking into Naoya’s; a much smaller, softer version of them, that is.
“Mamaaaaa!!” Naomi quickly cries when seeing you walk past the door, rushing to your side and hugging you tightly, the adrenaline of the whole succession still vivid in her mind. “Mama, it—it hurts a lot!”
Comforting her ought to be your utmost priority, but at the sight of your estranged child, the baby you were forcibly stripped away from… you couldn’t think of anything else but pinching yourself to see if this was a dream—if he was truly there, before you: flesh and bone. After so many years of distance…!
And naturally, hug him. Keep him so, so close to you and never let go; to make up for all the time you’ve spent apart and the things you never got to do because of his undeserving, cruel father…
Who stomped past the door soon after, equally freezing when seeing his estranged child, and ex-wife after 5 years of imposed silence. Startled, as if he hadn’t been the deciding factor behind it all.
Or perhaps, the reason why Naori enrolled in this school in the first place.
“Y/N.”
“Naoya.”
Looks like there’s much to catch up to.
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Obviously, part 2 is needed. Essentially where Naoya will disclose more of what the hell was going on in his mind when pulling that stunt, as well as some angst. I have to. hahaha
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this little thing I wrote; I do love it when we indulge into domestic au... but not at the expense of the kids 😭😭😭 think of the children!!! lol.
Well, 0nce again, thank you so much for sending in this ask!! Now take care, and hope to see you soon!!
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amateurmasksmith · 1 day ago
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Orbits Merging
A/N: Inspired by @radioactive-dazey <3
Warnings: none, they’re just stupid. (ok it’s more accurate to say they’re just scared to disturb the status quo, but anygay-)
“I- I don’t- know,” Virgil sighed, frustrated. “I don’t know.”
Logan hummed. “May I,” he asked, “take a figurative crack at it?”
Virgil nodded and gestured accedingly.
Logan shifted the blanket on his lap to free his hands, and adjusted his glasses. “My… feelings, are…”
He sighed slightly, and his eyes shifted - dancing through the middle distance, as if he might read a more objective answer written on Thomas’ blinds across from them.
“…Complex.” He settled on.
Logan sighed more heavily this time, dropping his gaze to the blanket the two of them shared.
“Apologies, this is…” he said, clearing his throat.
Virgil lightly elbowed him. “You’re good,” he said, “I don’t get… this, either.”
“It’s like-“ Logan started again, haltingly.
“Are you familiar with,” he concentrated a moment before conjuring a sheet of paper, “this memetic format?”
He passed the page to Virgil, which showed a speech bubble on the left, with the phrase “I love you” scrawled inside it - Pointing to a stylized outline of a human head on the right, which had the ‘gesturing at a conspiracy board’ meme pasted into it.
Virgil snorted. “Yeah, that’s… yup.”
“It's… accurate,” Logan conceded, referring to the three-word phrase while fidgeting with the edge of the blanket, “It accomplishes the intended purpose.”
“But,” he continued, “It’s nowhere near the actual, complex, thoughts and feelings I have for you.”
He stood up, dropping his side of the blanket, and began to pace the living room while gesturing. “And yet! And yet! Despite knowing this, I still have tremendous difficulty describing them - I can only make progress through their negatives!”
“…Negatives?” Virgil asked.
Logan turned, pausing his pacing to momentarily face him. “Or- or, opposites - by focusing on what they aren’t, rather than what they are.”
“Oh.” Virgil said, realizing. “Like, it’s definitely not… romantic-” They both made a sound of disgust.
“-But it’s…” Virgil trailed off.
Logan sat down gently. “…It’s not …quite your standard platonic either.”
He sighed. “In many ways, I am glad telepathy does not exist,” Logan stated. “But this would certainly be an exception.”
Virgil helped Logan re-cover himself with the blanket.
“Yeah, it’s… hard. Not being able to… fully express what you mean.” He said, scratching the back of his neck as he searched for the words. “There’s… always something, some idea, some nuance, left out - Just because… brains are…”
Virgil thought for a moment.
“Bigger on the inside.”
And he could see the gears turning, Logan’s expression lifting as his eyes lit up with understanding.
“Precisely!” Logan said with a genuine smile.
Virgil couldn’t help but feel warm, a smile of his own growing as he broke eye contact.
A comfortable silence settled over them.
A few minutes passed, and Virgil wondered if he should put on the movie.
He looked over, and was just about to ask, when he noticed Logan was fidgeting with the blanket while staring off into space, holding a subtly stiff posture.
Logan was nervous.
He was just about to ask what was wrong, when Logan zoned back in, and noticed Virgil staring.
“I- I’m sorry, I zoned out for a moment.” Logan said. “Did you need something, Virgil?”
“No! No, I-” he stuttered, taken aback by the sudden question. “You just seemed nervous… You ok?”
Logan looked away. “I… have a question.”
“Shoot.”
“But- I’m…” Logan paused.
Virgil put his hand on Logan’s arm encouragingly.
Logan continued, “I’m concerned…” He took a breath. “I’m… afraid… that asking will… interfere.”
“Interfere?”
“Like a quantum superposition. Observation… interferes.”
“You… and you don’t want to change things?” Virgil asked, barely daring to breathe.
Logan’s eyes were glued to the floor in front of them.
“It’s… complex,” he said. “It’s not that I don’t want change… it’s more so that… the possible game-states are… far too open for my liking.”
It was now Virgil’s turn to fidget. “It’s the uncertainty.” Virgil twisted his hoodie string around and over and through his fingers. “If you make the wrong move… it’s game over.”
”And yet,” Logan acknowledged, “you can’t stop playing.”
“Yeah.”
Silence settled over them once more, though this one was more high-strung.
Each sat hyper aware of the other - Neither daring to move, neither daring to speak.
“I-“ “Do-“ they both started.
“Shit, sorry-” “No, no - Please, go ahead.”
Several beats.
Logan was looking at him.
Virgil’s breathing quickened as his mind raced for something, anything to say.
“DoyouknowwhataQPRis?” he blurted out before quickly shutting his mouth in surprise.
Logan blinked.
Virgil blinked.
Virgil began panicking internally.
“I-” Logan inhaled as if he’d forgotten to breathe, and summoned an index card with a familiar pink-and-yellow flag glued to the back.
He flipped it over to re-read the definition, and Virgil couldn’t help but notice how worn the card was.
“Yes, I- I do. I am familiar with the term.”
“C-cool. D’you-” he stuttered.
He cleared his throat. God, this was torture.
Virgil looked up as Logan wordlessly passed him the card.
“I- I know the definition, L, I-”
But then he read it.
In the margin, scribbled in a haphazard version of Logan’s usual neat handwriting:
‘Should tell Virgil??’
He looked back at Logan, and couldn’t help the grin that pushed its way up onto his face as the weight eased off of his chest.
“I- Yeah! God, yeah- I- I’d love to.”
Logan, for a moment, attempted to fight off his own smile - but shortly abandoned the effort, and returned Virgil’s grin.
“I… I am relieved,” Logan finally managed, posture comparatively much more relaxed.
Virgil scooted closer, and Logan leaned forward to allow him to put his arm behind his back in a couch-bound half-hug as the day’s fatigue finally set in.
Logan summoned the remote before asking Virgil, “While establishing boundaries in new relationships is very important, I-” he paused to yawn.
“Excuse me- Would it be alright with you if we postponed that discussion until tomorrow?” Logan stifled another yawn before continuing, “It’s been… an exhausting day.”
Virgil was leaning on Logan’s shoulder, already half-asleep - completely spent from the long day, and the emotional stress. He blinked slowly. “Yeah, that-” Virge yawned.
“Now you got me doing it,” he said. “Sorry, yeah, that sounds… it sounds good.”
“Excellent.”
Logan woke the television screen, and lowered the volume.
As he started the movie, he whispered over his shoulder, “I love you, Virge,” and leaned back against the couch.
A sleepy mumble returned, “Love you too, L.”
They both fell asleep before the opening credits finished.
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dykedvonte · 1 month ago
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wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current “hero” of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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kazz-brekker · 1 year ago
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people are always discussing the lack of pronunciation guide in asoiaf and how you are supposed to say various valyrian names but i would like to also bring up the fact that the books and tv show have conspired to convince people to pronounce the name jaime as "jamie" instead of "hi-may" which is something that i have always found strange
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ripcarrotchan · 5 months ago
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taro buys jiro a weird-looking kitty plushie
(this is a scene from my fic about taro and jiro going to the park and jiro getting a plushie! ;;w;;)
#gekkan mousou kagaku#delusional monthly magazine#jirotaro#tarojiro#jiro tanaka#taro j suzuki#my art#(i feel like i posted this at the wrong time or something so im reposting it--feel free to reblog even if you haven't read the fic!)#i finally finished illustrating this!! ;;w;; (ive been trying to finish this since i wrote it and idk why it's taken me so long T__T)#i realized while making this that i didn't describe the shopkeeper in my fic#i had imagined him something like this but bc i didn't describe him the shopkeeper could look like anyone#i realized also that i didn't describe taro or jiro either so they could have been furries for the whole fic and no one would have known#including me#but i meant for them to be humans#i think making references to their age did imply they were humans#also their hair is almost the same in furry form so describing their hair would not have helped in this case#i would have had to say something like#he grabbed taro's smooth hairless hand and taro stumbled forward without a tail to balance him#well there's probably another way to do it#anyway!! i finally illustrated my fic and i think there is a way to put images on ao3 so i might just put these pictures there!! \;;-;;/#btw! i am the first person who wrote a fic for this series!! i think i caused them to make a series tag for it#before my fic there was also a fanvid in the tag! \;;w;;/ but they didn't make it an official tag until mine#i think bc i didn't know what to tag and i put on like 3 variations of the series title
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ask-artsy-oncie · 3 months ago
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I wish I was not an unintelligent manchild.
#Vent#I wish I had interests that were properly 'adult'#I wish I didn't like being surrounded by toys and trinkets and games and comics.#I wish my room looked like how you'd expect an adult's room to look#I wish my art was refined. I wish I worked in mediums that were considered respectable to the average person.#I wish I could read. I mean like I really wish I could focus and read a book above a high school reading level. And properly disect it.#I wish I dressed properly. Plainly.#I wish I could feel comfortable surrounded by muted colors.#I wish I didn't enjoy obnoxious music.#I wish I didn't cling to things that reminded me of my childhood.#I wish I could be just like a normal adult office worker who was able to socialize properly and went to the gym#And then would go home and cook myself dinner and read and then go to sleep.#And I would still be miserable. I'd still be undesirable. But at least I'd be normal. I'd probably hate myself less. I'd be more respectabl#Why didn't I ever grow up. Why. What's wrong with me.#Why did I get a weird job. Why do I want weird things. Why am I weird.#Maybe if I was normal I could make fun of adults who have weird interests and get rid of the awful fucking pit in my stomach#Maybe I'd be marginally less miserable because at least my life is put together and at least I'm normal.#And I wouldn't have to waste time and money and energy doing weird things like going to conventions#(I was going to add to that but I rarely leave the house as is)#Instead I would just talk at the water cooler and otherwise think insightfully and deeply. Be a proper philosopher or something.#And with a better more normal job I'd have the money to be a philanthropist too#And I wouldn't bother anyone#And I DEFINITELY wouldn't be FLAPPING MY FUCKING HANDS WHEN I GET EXCITED#OR SINGING UNDER MY BREATH RANDOMLY WITHOUT REALIZING IT#OR BITING MY NAILS OR TAPPING MY FINGERS OR LISTENING TO MUSIC SO LOUD I CAN FEEL IT IN MY CHEST#I WOULDNT BE BOUNCING MY FUCKING LEG#I WOULD BE *FUCKING NORMAL*.
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whatohitsonfirewelp · 11 months ago
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So like,,, we’re not just going to ignore the fact that the hellhound getting into camp was a key point in the book, right?
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lunarrampage · 10 months ago
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I'm a big advocate of just blocking and moving on when seeing bad takes about your interests but that's mostly because I rarely travel outside the small circle of artists and mutuals I follow and ohhhh boy after having seen the worst take about a beloved blorbo I suddenly understand everything, it was like a redditer overtook my body and I almost went into a rage as I resisted the urge to "um actually" and type up an entire essay in ops comment section but I persevered. Are you all proud of me.
#im mostly being hyperbolic but gosh#it's still eating me up inside so i will continue to complain about it here in the tags lol#so just scroll away if you don't wanna see me complain about things that don't matter<3#anyway i just saw someone say how karlach worked dorna slaver and would still be working for him if he hadn't betrayed her#implying she was only against gortash because his actions directly affected her#when FIRST IF ALL SHE WAS AN ORPHANED CHILD WHO WAS MANIPULATED BY HIM#AND SHE EVEN SAID IN HER OWN WORDS THAT SHE NEVER WOULD HAVE WORKED FOR GORTASG IS SHE HAD KNOWN WHO HE TRULY WAS#SHE WAS A KID AND WORKED FOR AN AWFUL MAN AND MOST LIKELY DID SOME PRETTY MESSED UP THINGS FOR HIM THIS IS TRUE#BUT SHE WAS A CHILD AND SHE LOOKED UP TO HIM WHILE HE MANIPULATED HER SO SHE WOULD ALWAYS PROTECT HIM AND DO WHAT HE SAID WITHOUT QUESTION#then he sold her to zariel and it wasn't until it was too late did she realize how evil gortash was#im unsure if she new he was a slaver when working for him but since she was a kid with nothing it's not like she's going to fully commit to#being a morally upstanding citizen when she literally couldn't afford it#saying karlach was only against gortash because his action affected her is BLATANTLY WRONG#she has flaws and is a deeply written characters and she cares so much about other people thats on of the reasons she worked with gortash#she cared about him and he used that to his advantage#okay rant over i love u karlach im sorry people refuse to look into your charcter beyond surface level assumptions </3#babbles#dear god there are so many typos. i aint retyping all that shit tho good luck deciphering that#i say as if anyone is gonna read it sjkdkf
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friendofthecrows · 2 years ago
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TW extremely triggering dark topic but with a positive message, I promise. I just needed to get this out somewhere.
It's not about whether you deserve to be happy. "You deserve to be happy" type messages never rung true to me, because sure, other people do. But me, I've been told I'm a monster, that I deserve to die. But very recently, as in today, I've realized it isn't about that. It's about whether you can be happy. If you can manage it. If you can scrape together moments of joy, then you should. Whether you deserve it or not, you can be happy, and you will, and that is worth it. All that matters is that it is possible.
You have to be alive to see if you can.
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born-to-lose · 2 years ago
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Missing people and regretting shit o'clock
#why did i even let it come this far. 7 fucking months and i didn't realize what was going wrong so i could have saved it#i want him back fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#was thinking of this notebook i filled for him with memories and poetry and quotes and general mushy things and goddamn#why am i crying i just looked at my desk and i don't have the heart to put everything in a box so i don't see it every day when i wake up#i know i can't change it and it's probably over for good now after i fucked some things up extra hard but fuck do i miss him#i wish i could have done something in time before even the thought of breaking up came up#just when i thought for once things are working out for me and it was really fucking good and happy until a week before it ended#guess i just can't be happy. i never could#i was really really willing to talk things out and fix whatever needs to be fixed while staying together#not go separate ways and maybe not so maybe definitely not possibly maybe see if we can try again in the future#which we (spoiler) apparently won't and i kinda came to terms with that but i still wish there was a possibility#or at least i would have liked to know from the beginning and not spend weeks hoping for a reunion and working towards that specifically#while i seem to be the only one with that goal#idk i just wish it had been more thought through and talked about properly so there wouldn't be the misunderstandings we deal with now#and like boundaries for the first two months or so after that but it takes two i guess#disclaimer i'm not bitter or mad at anyone just sad and nostalgic. if the person in question reads this i love you ok that won't change#deleting later but now i need to go back to sleep before i kill myself on a whim#mel talks#depressed bitch posting#i know i know i know i did some shit too that wasn't great and i'm not saying i'm innocent here i'm just so depressed about the situation#it's been seven goddamn weeks it never took me this long to get over anything before
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year ago
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Who was gonna tell me that reading is fun sometimes
#I will bring shame to my eight year old self NO MORE!!!! I LIKE READING AGAIN!! YIPPEE!!!#I think I seriously enjoy reading about the brain and body and trauma like it’s so strange to spend two hours laying in bed with a book but#it’s so nice#I really enjoyed science growing up even into high school I just didn’t have the patience or motivation to finish essays#and my freshman year science teacher got fired halfway thru the year after they found out she didn’t have a teaching license and then my#class got split up into an advanced science teachers class who was way ahead of everything we had learned and then I hated the class and#science in general then in sophomore year I had another shitty teacher who didn’t care about teaching and I literally would find recourses#and send them to the teacher to put on the projector and then I would talk thru the resource that’s fucking real I literally had class#periods where I TAUGHT my sophomore year science class. GAHHHH I still get so bad at that fucking teacher I don’t even remember her name but#she pissed me off so bad cause she paired me with the two guys who always made fun of me just bc I was smart and they were annoying. anyways#depression and adhd and boredom happened and I almost failed that class but still passed in the end and then in junior year during covid#I was taking a biology class and an anatomy class that was supposed to be seniors (seniors did the advanced class and they offered regular#class to select juniors) and I ended up being the ONLY junior who wasn’t doing the advanced course. like. everyone else got assignments and#I had to ask hey what’s the easy version of that assignment cause I’m technically in the easy class even tho we’re in the same class period#and then Covid and I stopped caring at all about anhthing and then dropped out of school and moved down the entire coast so yknow.#I never stood a chance at being good at science but I’m realizing I might actually be passionate about it cause I have been since I was#little I just kind of ignored it and forgot but like. for one birthday I got a telescope and for one Christmas I got a microscope. like it’s#well known to everyone but me that I like science apparently oh my god what’s wrong with my brain !!!! anyways.#I like science now it’s weird to feel passionate about learning I haven’t done that in a long time#oh my god when I took my GED test my highest score was in SCIENCE AND NOT ENGLISH#THIS IS ALL SO OBVIOUS I LOVE SCIENCE WHY AM I NOT DOING SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE RELATED TO SCIENCE
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sarcasmic-skies · 1 year ago
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literally spent 10 straight hours yesterday sat in the same spot rereading & annotating fight club over & over again bc i only had annotations in my original copy i’ve had for close to 10 yrs and my other 2 copies felt empty without any. i annotated with highlighter in my original copy every time i read it but the ink faded so much over the years you couldn’t see the annotations anymore. so yesterday i sat in the same spot and reread and annotated the exact same words and sentences and passages and chapters and book three times over with the same highlighter for 10 hours. a copy of a copy of a copy
and this is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time and nothing is static everything is falling apart and oh tyler please deliver me from clever art and HELLO! i am so ZEN. and the three ways to make napalm: and people are always asking did i know about tyler durden and i’m writing a little haiku in my head and this is a chemical burn and it will hurt worse than you’ve ever been burned and tyler is full of useful information and you wake up at jfk and i sniff the gasoline on my hands and now remember that was three times you promised and the demo goes on and the penguin said slide and we’ve just lost cabin pressure and only a hummingbird could have caught tyler at work and i fell down i did this to myself and my boss is wearing his gray tie so today must be a tuesday and paraffin has never ever worked for me and i am joe’s boiling point and a criminal is a criminal is a criminal and we’re down to our last ten minutes and tyler’s words coming out of my mouth i used to be such a nice person and life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip and yes there was a book and i know this because tyler knows this and i remember everything and
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