#it's just that this one soulless weirdo does

[justafriendofxanders]

i was gonna make a post about how it's neat to think of vampires as a metaphor for uh... alternative modes of kinship to the nuclear family, but then i remembered spike canonically entertaining the idea of domestic marriage as an unsouled vampire. which is truly sicko behavior. r/WhatsWrongWithYourDog material. like those italian greyhounds that will walk on their front legs. what's wrong with your vampire.

[dross-the-fish]

I agree with your thoughts on the PotO play, I thought what they did with Carlotta didn't make much sense. But if there was a few things about the 2000 movie that I did like about her. Is the fact that made her a bit of a dog mom and did actually care about her husband. But I think your take makes much more sense. I think the only time where a talentless Carlotta made sense was the Charles Dance movie.

It works in the Charles Dance miniseries because she's the owner's wife so her being a terrible singer but still being allowed to perform isn't that much of a stretch and they still manage to make her inability to sing funny in a way that ALW doesn't.

I love Cherik, even if he's pretty far off the book canon I have such a soft spot for him. The reason it doesn't work in the ALW musical boils down to the fact that she sounds terrible for one reason and one reason only, to make Christine sound better by comparison. That NEVER works, if you have to make the rival character incompetent, hard to work with and completely undeserving of their status to elevate your protagonist you've fucked up. You've weakened the impact of your main character's abilities. It doesn't work in the stage version of the musical but you kind of let it go because her lack of vocal ability isn't really made a huge point of but in the 2004 movie we get shots of people putting cotton in their ears and an adoring crowd asking for Christine. At that point keeping her is a liability to the managers because she's extremely difficult to work with and no one actually seems to like or respect her.

In the book Carlotta did have adoring fans, enough that she could fill the opera house with them as a way to bully and intimidate Christine. Her problem is that despite being a good technical singer she lacks passion and she's described as heartless and soulless. The toad scene is particularly telling to me of what kind of performer Carlotta is. The way everyone reacts with dismay instead of laughing or booing her off of the stage.

Later when Erik is explaining the trick he refers to Carlotta's voice as "-Carlotta's golden throat, Carlotta's crystal throat," now, he could be giving us some sarcasm there because earlier in a letter to the mangers he said she "sang like a squirt," (What does that even MEAN you goofy weirdo?) but I take most of what Erik says with a heaping tablespoon full of salt because he is very biased and just generally very unreliable. I believe the book gives more than enough enough substantial evidence to conclude that Carlotta is, in fact, a very good singer. And she needs to be for one reason and one reason only. Because if she's not then her rivalry with Christine doesn't pay off.

Making Carlotta no threat to Christine actively takes away from the strength of Christine's character and makes her triumph over her rival meaningless. What's the point of winning against someone who can't properly play the game in the first place? ALW turns Carlotta from a threatening rival for Christine to defeat into a paper-thin bully for Erik to humiliate.

[rjalker]

Like IDK what to fucking tell you people if you don't think twice before relogging posts like this.

lobotomylives said:

6h ago

I hate artificial weird people so much. Like the ones who are obviously deeply normal to the bone in everything from their disposition to interests to life experiences, but nevertheless try to present themselves as a ~weirdo~ around others as a sort of performance art/LARPING bc they think it'll make them interesting. Tryhard "freaks" who tailor their oddities for the sole purpose of ensuring they come across as chic & cool. The word poser isn't even enough to describe these people. Their carefully crafted idiosyncrasies are as hollow and fragile as an empty vase. They are a pathetic facsimile of a true freak, no depth or value or honesty behind the quirky haircut & offbeat fashion choices. Soulless void people, the human equivalent of a black hole where formerly cool things go to die. I'll take a natural normie over a GMO weirdo any day of the week.

The OP is literally a TERF, whose pinned post literally says "got my blog nuked for "promoting violence" against rapists & pedos"

Who do you fucking think these people mean when they say "rapists and pedos". I'll give you one fucking hint: trans people.

Learn how to spot facist conservative bullshit even when they're not straight up telling you "I hate trans people and spend my free time sending trans people death threats".

Come the fuck on people, it's 2023. It shouldn't fucking take anyone pointing out that OP's a fucking TERF for you to realize that this is a fucking post with shit morals and shit ideology that you shouldn't be agreeing with just because you want to feel superior to unspecified ""fake weirdos""

Lobotomy is also a fucking favorite dogwhistle of both TERFs and white supremacists. Start fucking paying attention. Just because a post has a lot of notes does not mean you do not need to think critically about the shit you unthinkingly agree with because it apparently sounds good to you on the surface.

[gaykarstaagforever]

YouTuber Donna (used to do psychology related content?) presents a documentary on the rise and fall of BuzzFeed, that Grandpa Media clickbait farm that tricked oh-so-many of us into thinking it was OMG US for for, far too long.

They got big on YouTube. You know. The place where you at least have to be a weirdo passionate about a thing BEFORE you get big and brand deals get thrown at you. Instead, BuzzFeed was the absolutely most awful corporate media jackasses and tech nepobabies from NYC and Silicon Valley, coming together to divide a bowl of cocaine and use algorithms to create new advertising space for Toyota. These people did conference talks where they said text abbreviations out loud unironically, and were 200% confident they had mastered a business model they were making up. You will see them do both these things in this video. You may cringe your own skin off.

I am disgustingly smug about the fact that I, an older Millennial, could smell these soullessness husks from a mile away back in the day and never engaged with their content.

...Besides the Never Eaten A Vegetable Guy. That loser is comedy gold.

But other than that, I never gave in to boosting them in the Algorithm. But a lot of people younger than me did, and also worked for them, and were all betrayed by the same exploitative corporate content machine that has been ruining the Western world in various ways for like 100 years or more now.

BuzzFeed wasn't different. It just thought you were too stupid to notice. And for a little bit, you were. But then you figured it out and they rightly tumbled into irrelevance.

"YEAH BUT THE TRY GUYS ARE COOL!"

Asshole, grow up. No one is cool. Especially when they show up to get paid a lot for screen time, while other people are abused to create the nuts and bolts of their content. Watch the video. As if the hilarious fall of "Wife Guy" wasn't enough to kill any lingering sexual fantasies about these Quirky Hipsters, Sponsored by Target.

The rise and fall of BuzzFeed is a lesson on why you don't trust media billionaires and their simpering show dogs for content. YouTube might be a hive of scum and villainy, but at least Mr. Beast started doing that shit from the simple love of whatever the hell he does. Authenticity might not lead to innately better content, but at least what it makes isn't pandering.

...For awhile. Depends on who it is.

...Look it's still better than goddamn fuxking BuzzFeed.

[trannydean-moved]

okay so in 6x02 jaime's gonna be there with sam while working on that case, i think i should have JAIME find the baby, and then instantly be like "omfg.... this is my baby now". so sam is horrified to have a baby here and jaime isn't AS horrified bc he loves babies but he doesn't exactly know what to do, so he's in the backseat with the baby while trying to make sure the baby doesn't suddenly die (sam and jaime are dumb and waiting for the baby to explode or smth).

dean's the most qualified to take care of the baby ofc, but jaime like is glued to his hip while he takes care of the baby bc he WANTS to learn, unlike sam who is all soulless and "bleh get that thing away from me". dean's eventually like "okay what the hell are you doing" and jaime's like "i need to learn to take care of the baby" and dean's like "okay whatever then". sam's like "🤨 okay weirdo" and then goes back to case stuff bc he doesn't care.

sam goes to interview the husband of that one victim and dean volunteers to stay with bobby-john and jaime's like "i'll stay with you" and dean's too tired to protest and sam is like "okay then whateves bye" and goes. jaime and dean use the massage beds bc yeah 👍 they end up talking about why jaime stuck with sam and the campbells and didn't ever come to see dean. jaime is all like "sam and bobby are right, you got out, i wasn't going to be the reason to drag you back in" (but he kinda is..... and that does hurt him when he really realizes it). dean's like "and you're barely in! you've only been hunting for, like, not even three years--you've got a family, you can get out, so why not you?"

and jaime says some stuff about feeling obligated to bc of his parents and dean tells him that's bullshit. jaime's quiet, and dean sighs, then asks him again why he never came to see him. jaime starts to tell him the same answer as before, but dean cuts him off, saying there's smth else other than that. jaime gives him a questioning look, and dean accuses him of being jealous. and jaime's internally like "oh fuck" but externally like "dude what are you talking about, jealous of what?" and dean's like "don't play stupid, ik you're jealous of what me and lisa have" and jaime can feel his stomach getting all knotted up with anxiety. he's like "i'm not **jealous"** and dean's like "you so fucking are and i know it" and idk he might go on to talk about how he and jaime could never work, if i want to be extra mean. whatever happens, they get interrupted by bobby-john exploding and then sam calling and being like "hey i think the baby's dad is a shifter" and jaime's like "no shit sherlock".

so then they clean bobby-john up, and then that one shifter comes and maybe he knocks dean out and jaime is just clutching bobby-john in the corner until sam comes in and shoots the shifter. they go to the campbells' hideout and jaime does NOT like the idea of giving bobby-john to christian. he definitely sides with dean on letting them have the baby, despite their argument earlier. dean realizes that despite them being on not-of-best terms rn that jaime will still side with him on stuff, and he does appreciate that.

also christian jabs at jaime for not being a part of the family so he doesn't get a word into this, and i think dean should be like "he's closer family to us [sam and i] then you" and sam's like "uhh no" and jaime is :( bc he's been with sam this whole entire time with the campbells PLUS time before then (two episodes in s1, second half of s4, most of s5) and they had grown close so he's sad about this.

then the plan to basically use bobby-john as bait for big daddy shifter. jaime does not know about the plan--he knew about big daddy shifter but he never made the connection between that and using bobby-john as bait, and samuel and sam don't tell him bc he'd be very against it. idk whether jaime is in the panic room with sam, dean, and bobby-john or not. i am thinking he wasn't, and dean's against the idea of having jaime out there fighting when he's the least experienced of them. jaime doesn't argue with him, because he knows that dean's right, and compared to everyone else here, he was as green as green could be. eventually, that's what happens, and sometime during the fight with big daddy shifter, jaime realizes "fuck, this is NOT like other shifters, this is bad! i gotta get baby out of here". he goes to the panic room in a hurry and demands for bobby-john. sam and dean are sus bc obv they think he's the shifter. jaime makes a noise of frustration and he MEANT to just slice himself with his silver knife, but he kinda stabs himself in the arm and oh lovely, he's bleeding all over now. and he's like "fuck that hurt... okay now gimme the baby". and dean's like "why what are you doing" and jaime's like "i'm gonna get him outta here!!! you guys hold off the guy and i'll start getting him out of here". and sam's like "bro how are you gonna get past them? you have to go through the fight to get out of here" and jaime's like "just make sure they don't get me before i get to the car!! then you guys should prolly scatter, because this guy isn't like other shifters... he's super powerful". and dean's like "what??" and jaime's like "yeah he's fucking impervious to the damn silver bullets!!!! so once i'm gone, just get out of here, okay??" so that's what happens. sam and dean join the fight to distract big daddy shifter, jaime get's in sam's dumb charger. he speeds off and just keeps driving and driving until he realizes his arm is still bleeding, and oh, there's blood all over. he pulls over, bandages himself up, and checks on bobby-john. he's sleeping and okay. jaime breaths a sigh of relief and then goes to call dean. it's the first time in a while since he has called dean, so he's a little anxious, but he does. dean answers almost immediately, and both are relieved to hear each other's voices. dean asks where jaime's at, and jaime looks around to see he's somewhere on i-69, probably out of michigan by now, probably somewhere in indiana. dean tells him to head for bobby's place, because they can meet up there and come up with a new game plan. jaime replies that he will, and before hanging up, he says smth to dean about not caring if "they don't have a chance" because no matter what, jaime's still going to care immensely for dean, and he's always gonna be there for him. dean's like "ditto". fkjhjfkjf no okay he says smth a bit more sincere than that, but he does return the sentiment.

[cinemacentral666]

Manderlay (2005)

Movie #1,052 • Ranking Lars von Trier #13

A direct sequel to Dogville, 2005's Manderlay is easily von Trier's most direct work of sociopolitical messaging to date. If you were wondering about his thoughts on race in America, well, big surprise: he doesn't have a very sunny outlook! Of course, this isn't a unique stance by any means, but through his warped lens we see things from a different perspective (PERHAPS). It's a delicate and touchy subject, to say the least. And while I don't think it ranks anywhere close to his most successful movies, it isn't necessarily the focus of the attention which is the main issue. Featuring many actors from the cast of Dogville (mostly in different roles), minus Nicole Kidman in the lead role of Grace (here replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard) and James Caan as her father (who bowed out over issues with the politics, and was replaced by Willem Dafoe), Manderlay is filmed in the same soundstage style. Howard does her best in an incredibly difficult spot, but she's clearly a step down.

There are two main issues which plague this film. First, this is truly an insane and somewhat unbelievable premise on multiple levels. Unrealistic in a bad way, I feel. Grace goes straight from ordering the soulless murder of an entire town (she made a mother watch her children being executed!) to emancipator of slaves: some 70 years after the Civil War she stumbles upon a plantation where the rouse of slavery is still being subjected on a dozen or so in rural Alabama. Using the might of her father's gangsters, she flips the table, forcing the white family into a life of servitude as she tries to instill the merits of freedom of democracy (albeit with the force of her dad's men, Jean-Marc Barr and Udo Kier reprising roles, among them). Why the dramatic change of heart after how things ended in Dogville? It's a stretch, but the idealism buried within her isn't quite dead yet. New to the production are a slew of fantastic black actors, including Danny Glover and Isaach de Bankolé. There are many twists and turns throughout the movie's 8 chapters as they follow Grace's lead before, in true LVT fashion, everything goes to hell.

The second big issue is that this is just not as good cinematically. There are several weird cuts and editing choices. Overall this is sloppier and not as refined. Though it was filmed with the same cinematographer and basically in the same style, the lovely lighting and precision staging from Dogville is missing. It's still unique and impressive given the constraints, but it lacks the nuance which made its predecessor so striking.

This was a co-production of an outlandish seven countries (Denmark, Sweden, Netherlands, France, Germany, United Kingdom, Italy). There's one notable exception to that list. Can you guess? Far be it from me to declare what stories someone should or shouldn't tell, but it ultimately feels like von Trier is reaching here. Americans know just how fucked the situation is. We don't necessarily need a Danish weirdo to point it out. By the time we get to the end credits, set once again to Bowie's "Young Americans" against an even more disparate series of horrifying photos (what does 9/11 have to do with any of this?), it just feels exhausting.

But I admire his gusto, his never-ending desire to 'go there' without any hesitation or worry about the consequences or reception. But Dogville worked far better because it was better executed, felt fresh and new, and tackled the subject matter in a much more universal way.

SCORE: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️¼

I'll be counting down all of Lars Von Trier's movies right here at @cinemacentral666 every Thursday through September 2023

[theangiediary]

hi angie! I see you're online, you're getting a wincest Wednesday ask. do you have any specific headcanons about Sam and Dean's first time?? who would initiate, what they'd do, where and how? anything that is particularly dear to you

Hi Roni! I was online, just about until I got this and then I had to go out :,) HOWEVER it's almost still Wednesday! To answer your question... Your fic Drywall Dust hits a lot of my favorite first time elements to be honest.

Preseries (or as I like to call it: "canon inspired teenchesters wincest!au")

Angry!sullen!Sam & confused!pretty!Dean (so much fun)

John's offscreen looming presence (what makes s1 my #1)

[I also have a couple ideas about where it could happen if during the series (after John's death, soulless arc, or s8 Confession scene) from a previous ask.]

TW dub con

Something that I personally like/project on is (at least at first), Dean doing it as.. a service and Sam doing it out of lust? For Dean, kind of "straight-with-exception"/aromantic, heterosexual+sam-sexual if that makes sense 😭. He just loves Sam so much! He wants Sam to stay with him. But a key moment for me is the pilot when Dean drives away.

And Sam, well sex for me, especially in fiction, is mostly about Control. Sometimes I'll like the sweet fluffy stuff (Hath's Heaven verse is darling), but mostly I go for Wincest where Sam's general discontent being a "freak" has the added taboo of incestuous feelings for Dean. I love that Sam.. (samgirls look away) has a sort of arrogant willful blindness when it comes to things he wants/times of power. "I know demon blood is bad, but it's to stop Lilith and I can handle it", "it was just college Dean, a reasonable father would have been happy for me to go", "it's totally fine that I had sex with my dream girl on a Dream Girl Murder Case case" (he was right about Cara but that's not the point!). So with all that, I can easily imagine a young Sam that's like "fuck it, I want Dean, I want to stick it to Dad, I want to makes sense of all these nasty feelings I'm having" and thus initiates their sexual relationship. Plus he looks at Dean like he wants to eat him for a good bit of s1, so aggressor Sam just. Fits.

And then Dean, like I said. Would be willing to give Sam anything. Genuinely gets off on Sam getting off (weirdo <3), and hey he didn't expect Sam to want to use his body to do that, but what the hell? "I mean, for you or Dad, the things I'm willin' to do or kill, it's just, uh... it scares me sometimes." Great line.

One fic method is "ignorant to his own attraction to Sam" Dean. Idk how to explain this, like "hello baby brother🥰 u didnt do the dishes😠oh Sam's kissing me what wait no don't pull away ooh that feels good okok u can do this [cut to morning] ..hm. Sam's hair looks nice. [cut to Sam standing in the kitchen] his legs are gorgeous is thAT your dick sammy put on! underwear!😳"

Also Sam has a Big Dick. I don't know where that belongs in all this, just saying. And personally I like smaller-than-average!Dean but that's neither here nor there.

I also realize I could have just written a single little scene, but generally when I think "hc" I think "what TRUTH is IN canon but not explicitly shown/stated?" (example: Dean enjoys having his nipples played with. Cassie kind of does it, but it's a dark shot and he never says it's a kink of his. Still.... he likes it I Know This..)

[wizardnuke]

god fuck I fucked up the tags and I Refuse to rewrite that shit I maxed out of space

Out: Coffee shop AUs

In: 24-hour convenience store in a really weird neighbourhood AUs

[heshemejoshi]

Ok i was talking about this with a friend and i think it's an important topic that has to be addressed in the octopath community:

Alfyn and Therion's dynamic.

I know most of the people in this fandom like alfion!! I do too. And it is because I care so much about them that I'm writing this and I consider it key to enjoy their chemistry together at their best.

Octopath Traveler presents interesting themes and small similarities between their stories, like the whole color scheme thing with Darius and Alfyn and Miguel and Therion being thieves, so I can see why people (like me) are drawn to this relationship in particular. It presents conflicts you are invested in.

But I feel like it's relevant to not water things down.

I think Therion is the most abused out of both of them. The way he learns about trust with Cordelia, a character that shouldn't have been handled with this importance that she has, at all, is downright offensive writing and a really incompetent way to have Therion learn about breaking out of the cycle of abuse (he could have easily learned it with Gareth by sparing him, giving him a chance again: a foil that reflects Therion back then, before the fall, but alas, that scene didn't happen. It could still work if it didn't happen, though, but his murder wasn't explored at all beyond Gareth just being another soulless enemy and i'm very angry about it still.)

I think Darius's ending was a good way to close the story off though: as an abuse victim it gave me so much comfort to see him get his comeuppance by being killed by his own men, and not by Therion. Therion isn't really shown to be fond of battle in the game's dialogue (his english voice lines and tone, on the other hand, are so bad at representing him), he only does it because he's forced to in his story and in the gameplay for self defense. He's not like Miguel. So if you made Therion be the one killing Darius, that would go against his whole character, against his whole morals. He never wanted revenge.

Darius deserved to die. But Therion did not deserve to have his old partner's blood in his hands.

I feel like a thing overlooked by the fandom too for some reason is the fact that Therion is portrayed as a brownskinned man (though with reaaaaally ashy pigmentation 🤨) in concept art. The illustrations where he's on whitewash him: which i also feel like isn't talked enough about in the community. Sometimes I draw him either brown or albino for that reason, but most people do portray Therion as brownskinned.

Which brings me to the next point: Alfyn isn't Therion's savior, and making him that is, indeed, racist, since Alfyn is a white man. I trust we know about the concept of white saviorism enough to know this is a problem. The thing with Alfyn and Therion's dynamic is that it's more complex than one saving the other. Each of their characters have their own agency and don't need to be saved, at all. Their mutual support is needed, of course, but they're not fully dependent on it. Human relationships are more complex than that.

Which brings me to my next point:

Therion and agency, and the doctor/patient situation.

As I stated before, I feel like Therion is the most abused out of both of them. I've read far too many fics where the plot is that Therion is dependent on Alfyn's medicines and treatment which is what brings them together and things develop into romance.

That's weirdo shit, and here's why: it robs Therion of his agency by making him fully dependent on a man he doesn't know, there's a significant power imbalance where the brown/albino man is on the lower end of the stick, and it goes against all code of ethics. You know what else has the same problems? Professor/student relationships, though those tend to have a very significant age gap too.

Alfyn would never fall in love with one of his patients canonically, and I don't know what makes people believe that. He's not a creep.

If you can't come up with not-creepy situations, follow canon. Make Alfyn steal from the Ravuses, he would definitely support the poor from Bolderfall and would understand the motivations of a thief against the most powerful people in a town where class differences are obvious to the eye. Make Therion follow the kindness he still has in his heart by supporting an apothecary who needs to save a little girl.

The potential is there. Just don't be creepy or weird about it. Let's enjoy a very interesting romantic chemistry between two men in a healthy way, because never does the game make it creepy.

Thank you for reading this, and I hope my points were understood!

[americachavez]

Ok ok do u think it’s funnier if Sam is aware of the staggering amount of sexual tension between dean and cas or if he is blissfully ignorant. Bc on the one hand the mental image of Sam looking into the camera like he’s on the office every time cas states soulfully into deans eyes is absolutely hysterical but on the OTHER HAND. What if Sam just thinks this shit is normal for best friends because he is a weirdo who didn’t have close friends growing up. And he overhears cas reciting some extremely sappy poetry for dean and is like ok weirdly homoerotic but everyone has hobbies :) and THEN he sees them kiss and is like 404 error blue screen of death for two weeks. I am going to give myself a hernia.

asjdlfksdjfldkfj ok for sure at first sam was too busy being a demon coke whore during his hot girl summer to pay attention to the lack of personal space between his brother and the insane angel, and then he’s got the whole apocalypse sitch to deal with and maybe angels are just like that, you know? and ok that’s not how sam’s friends acted in college but it turns out his friends all might have been possessed by demons, so what does sam know about normal friendship anyways. I mean I subscribe to the idea that sam has known since season 6 because you KNOW soulless sam clocked that homo behavior immediately and put 2+2+profound bond together and after sam got his soul back realizing that his brother and the gay angel want to fuck is one of the more mid-level traumatizing memories he gets back, right after killing that cop. I love the idea that he has been long-suffering ever since

but now that I think about it a funnier option is sam just thinking cas and dean are best friends and have a regular level of investment in each other and maintain normal levels of eye contact even if it does get awkward sometimes, but he IMMEDIATELY assumes dean and benny are fucking and that is why he flips out about benny, but benny is actually just like please I just miss my wife and want to spend time with my grandchild leave me out of this insane family dynamic. dean and cas meanwhile are making out behind sam’s back and continue to do so for 10 years

[davidmann95]

Comics this week (3/10/2021)?

cheerfullynihilistic said: Comics this week (03/10/21)??

adudewholikescomicsandotherstuff said: This week’s comics?

Anonymous said: Comics?

Anonymous said: 3/10 NCBD?

Non-Stop Spider-Man #1: The lead story was fun, the backup was dopey, I’ll give it another issue or two to see where it goes.

The Immortal Hulk #44: While it was too late for this week I’ve taken Hulk off my pull list, so the store won’t order any copies specifically for me and therefore my future purchase of the book won’t support Joe Bennett’s presence, just the store. This issue is typical of some of the books’ weaker installments of the last year or so - feels like well-done regular superhero comics instead of Immortal Hulk - but those last couple pages bring it back around.

Daredevil #28: Holy cow, those King In Black issues actually mattered. God this book is still so fuckin’ good in so many ways, everything every dumbass street-level superhero ‘deconstruction’ wants to be when it grows up.

Children of the Atom #1: Sucks real bad! This weird combo of ‘hip new young Marvel heroes!’ trappings and soulless X-Men lifer comics execution that feels certain to appeal to neither group.

Eternals #3: Of the listed Deviants I imagine I’d relate most to Annoyed Veug.

Commanders in Crisis #6: While I remain without the ability to weigh in on this objectively, this is the issue that to date most feels like it lives up to the promises of the series premiere.

The Wrong Earth: Night & Day #3: Little disappointed personally with the reveal of what the third world is - I assumed it was going to be more of a straight take ‘modern’ version to the other two’s flavors of throwbacks - but this series still rules. And that ending.

Home Sick Pilots #4: Okay, I think I can follow what’s happening at this point, still enjoying it.

Proctor Valley Road #1: I review these books in the order I present them to my dad since he likes DC/Marvel/Other to each be lumped together, but make no mistake: this is the last of the three Morrison books to read this week, because this is what comes next for them. A return to their roots - 70s kids way into music and dealing with the weird, girls adventure stories of the kind they apparently grew up reading - this feels like a refinement of their mid/late-00s Vertigo work in the same way they’ve been iterating on their superhero material for decades. The horror is sold excellently, whether by their own efforts or thanks to cowriter Alex Child this is their most fluid, ‘real’-sounding dialogue perhaps ever, and Franquiz with Bonvillain are instantly among their all-time best collaborators, perfectly capturing the shifting tone and character acting necessary to best put Morrison’s big ideas over in a way a number of their collaborators haven’t lived up to over the years (and speaking of the visuals, Jim Campbell does the lord’s work with that lettering trick near the end). Ritesh Babu and Sean Dillon have a lot more to say about the book and how it already acts as a darker, more honest take on your Stranger Things and the like as a commentary on its times, but I’m already loving to see this particular return down to Earth for Morrison and company and I’m glad to hear this is selling really well compared to their previous indie work.

Dead Dog’s Bite #1: This actually came out last week, but Ritesh recommended it so I figured it might be worth a look. A so far intensely low-key missing persons mystery with a touch of surreality around its edges, this already looks to be the best “look! A nine-panel grid! Fancy!” comic since Mister Miracle, really lived-in and emotional for as little happens in this debut. Very curious where it’s going.

Rorschach #6: I continue to like it.

Batman: Urban Legends #1: Glory be, a good Jason Todd comic - at last, you noble stubborn weirdoes living off of like six nonconsecutive panels all these years, you may lay down your burden. Not all you’d necessarily hope from Zdarsky tackling Gotham after what he’s been doing with Daredevil but rock-solid work regardless; the Harley story is fine, Outsiders is a letdown after Thomas’s shockingly good showing for them in Future State but it’s still fine, and the Grifter stuff is fun.

The Joker #1: I thought the advertised ‘a Joker story from Gordon’s POV�� angle was an interesting one even if I was concerned this book would in practice be pure editorial mandate, but in reality? Tynion has managed to pull the wool over DC’s eyes and do a full-on Jim Gordon book (one predicated with him being off the force to make it reasonably comfortable read in 2021) with Joker as the barest of pretexts to get it out the door and selling for as long as he wants to continue it. He even said in interviews that when the book was first pitched to him that his response was that a Joker solo book was a dumb unworkable idea until he had an idea for a ‘different way to approach it’, he knows exactly what he’s doing and I salute him. And it’s a darn good Gordon book even if the Punchline backup is predictably tepid, I’m in the tank for Gotham’s perpetual whipping boy dealing with weird noir international crime with Joker sort of hanging around in the background menacingly to justify the nominal premise.

Anonymous said: Hey, so I figure one random anon won’t change your mind, but like you I was disappointed by New Frontier’s immortal Wonder Woman, but I still got the new issue of Wonder Woman cause Wonder Woman at Valhalla still sounds great and I actually liked it! I think I’m gonna get at least the next issue, so there’s at least one recommendation for it

Wonder Woman #770: This combined with the store still putting it in my pile prompted me to give it a try after all, and whether because something here clicks better or if they’re simply not trying so hard without the pressure of doing a ‘final’ story for Diana, Cloonan and Conrad do in fact do substantially better on the main book than they did with Immortal Wonder Woman. Some fun, some fights, some mythology and intrigue, gorgeous landscapes and generous servings of beefcake from Travis Moore - this isn’t going to be sweeping the Eisners, but this is as enjoyable as a Wonder Woman comic has been in a good long time. My only concern is that the joyousness on display here might dissipate somewhat once Diana fully returns to herself, but in the meantime this was a very pleasant surprise (especially with the the Young Diana backup by Bellaire, Ganucheau, Goode, and Carey).

Superman #29: PKJ’s Superman thus far has been a story of overcoming initial worries of mine - in this case, my concern that he’d have a bad Scott Snyder-ey case of “if you’ve read the interviews you’ve pretty much already heard the dialogue of the comic verbatim”. In practice here most of what he’s had to say about these issues are distilled down really succinctly and poignantly in the midst of a fun little upper-atmosphere adventure portending something grimmer, and while I know it didn’t click with everyone I thought Phil Hester’s work here was a perfect accompaniment. The Tales of Metropolis backup wasn’t nearly as enjoyable, but hints at some interesting worldbuilding I’m hopeful will pay off in the main run.

The Green Lantern Season Two #12: The final Grant Morrison DC comic. One of two anyway, but if the next story I discuss is their broader final (non-Klaus, hopefully) statement on the superhero subgenre and a bridge to what they’re doing next, this is the one that’s about being The Final Grant Morrison DC Comic. A mélange of pretty much all their other DC finales into a shamelessly self-reflective meditation on the limits of what they can accomplish in shared universe storytelling where Green Lantern saves the universe through collective action and then fucks off to do his own thing elsewhere while the kids take over the ongoings. Weird and kinda perfect, and if nothing else this series took Liam Sharp from “really? This dude is drawing the last ever Morrison DC ongoing?” to “HOLY FUCKING SHIT LIAM SHARP”.

(The panel folks blew up over I think can be read multiple ways, but not in a ‘it’s open to interpretation!’ way so much as the storytelling/framing being unclear. I personally read it as ‘this is what neighbor versus neighbor looks like now’ rather than ‘calling someone a TERF or a Nazi is as bad as anything the other side does’, because oldster and out of touch though they may be I can’t see Morrison seriously saying that, especially after coming out.)

Wonder Woman Earth One Volume 3: At long last, after a hideous misfire kicking the series off and a second installment best described as ‘well, at least it wasn’t the first one’, this while not without elements I want to see femme and nonbinary critics discuss critically lives up to what you want to see out of ‘Grant Morrison’s Wonder Woman’. Big utopian fiction breaking the typical boundaries of superhero stories with aplomb in implicit conversation with a ton of their previous work, a bridge from what they’ve done to what they’re doing next, it’s an imperfect (especially with Paquette’s art, which while gorgeous and majestic in the way this story demands really doesn’t living up to the ‘acting’ necessary here in a way thrown into sharp contrast by Franquiz in PVR) but shockingly passionate statement of intent - if the last two volumes felt like Morrison struggling to have something to say with Wonder Woman in the same way they did with Superman and Batman, this feels at the close like them at last finding in her a way to do everything left with the cape and tights crowd they wanted to but couldn’t manage anywhere else under the Big Two umbrella. Odd and lovely, a fine sendoff.

[idjitlili]

Legolas x reader

I am so tired I stayed up till 5 am last night reading so sorry if this shit. It is shit, Idont know what happened

Imagine somehow being teleported into Tolkien’s ,the hobbit, and you end up meeting legolas and Thranduil. In which you insult thranduil, Thorin is sorta your daddy.

You have been travelling with the company since the trolls tried to eat everyone. You had quite literally came out of a floating , flame coloured line. Only to walk into the tree. A troll had picked you up and attempted to eat you as-well , but you really didn’t care, as you was focusing how your head hurt from the tree.

After explaining your situation to Gandalf , which he ended up believing that you weren’t from here, due to your clothing, and strange sayings. Plus the evidence that all the dwarves and a Hobbit had seen you magically appear.

Thorin didn’t like having a teenage girl , with barely any self defence skills , to come with on their adventure, mission, thing. Yet he felt like he had to protect you from harm, surprisingly since you saw how he treated Bilbo. Uh basically he’s your dad.

The first night with the company , they had all offered you blankets , food (lucky Bombur makes a lot.) , the princes had given you some of their extra tunics. Which they had a lot because dwarves likes to wear layers. Too bad they weren’t green.

Dori acted like a mother to you , he would make sure you ate , and even got Ori to make you knitted goods. The dwarves thought you you would freeze to death , as dwarves didn’t get as cold as humans. Something to do with their build or something, you recall Balin telling you.

You became quick friends with Bilbo, he was interested in where you were from, and what it was like there.

Kili and fili teased you for your weird obsession with potatoes, as you mostly ate them, and you even had gone far enough to make a potato ring. (I actually did)

Now you and the company are In Mirkwood forest , unaware to what is going to strike, soon.

Kili and fili ,stood either side of you in a protective manner. For hours the company had been walking through Mirkwood, Thorin denying any assumptions that they were lost.

You grunt , at the blisters that are forming on your feet , that are sweating in your trainers.

“My legs hurt.” You moan , quietly dragging out hurt.

Kili scoffs at you , “your legs are longer , imagine how mine feel.”

You look at Bilbo who is lagging behind,

“Well you can’t say anything , Bilbos legs are as long as my dick.”

“OI y/n, i dont have no legs.”

“I never said that , my dick is hugeeeeee.”

“You don’t have a dick .” Bofur responds loudly , with annoyed tone.

“How would you know if she had a dick. You haven’t seen it.” Kili responds sending you a wink.

“Yeah thank you , my dick is in my head.”

“How would it fit though?” Fili inquires , with a confused facial expression.

“I meant my personality you jensen Ackles , and John travolta blend!” You reply smirking to yourself .’Boom roasted’ not that he would get the joke.

Unknown the rest of the company Bilbo had climbed up a tree to look for a way out of mirkwood. The air felt limited in the poisoned forest , you felt chills go up your back, shivering slightly.

“Thorin...” you speak slowly, as you spot a eight legged spider, approach in the distance. It was bigger than a sheep, teeth like knives, beads for eyes.

Thorin grabs you and makes sure you are behind him, before you know it , all the dwarves plus you are surrounded. You unarmed, stay close with thorin , so you don’t die.

Suddenly the spiders are everything, no escape, the spiders are travelling down by webs and pulling up the dwarves , who don’t see it coming because they are too busy fighting the ones on the ground. When they are pulled up , they are wrapped into a webbed cocoon.

Thorin grabs a hold of you and pulls you into his jacket , then you are both slung up into the air, you become dizzy from being wrapped up in the webbing. Then you and thorin are in just stuck. For what it seems like forever.

Until , you feel yourself falling down slowly from the trees, the cocoon is ripped open by thorin. You get up looking around there are several, other cocoons with dwarves crawling out of them. You look around to see there are still spiders everywhere, you look to the floor and see thorins swords , picking up quickly you pass it to him. he nods with appreciation and passes you a dagger.

I guess you have no chance but try to help , otherwise the others will die because you were too scared to take a chance.

‘You miss 100% the shots you don’t take -Wayne Gretzky-Michael Scott -y/n l/n’

Before you can even look around for a target , you are rugby tackled to the ground, by a disgusting excuse of one of Morgan freeman’s creations.(I think he’s god uh)

You pull your arm out of its grasp, with your ,sorry thorins dagger in hand , before the poison from the spider can be injected. You stab it the face , its body goes stiff around you curling. You push it off gagging at its texture, you pull yourself off the floor only to be tackled again.

This time the dagger had been knocked out of your gasp , desperately you try to reach it buts in use, the creature pushes you down hard. You pull up your leg and kick as hard as you can, it lands on the left of you. You finally able to grab the dagger going to kill the spider, but someone beats you to it , FIring an arrow through its head.

You look up to see a blonde dude, why is he wearing leggings. Weirdo, your brother accidentally put your leggings on ,once and ripped the crotch how he didn’t notice

he doesn’t own leggings. I do not know.

Snapping you out of your thoughts , you are dragged up, dagger snatched out of your hand, and you are roughly pushed towards the group.

“Don’t you touch her again , or I’ll make sure your everlasting life does t last.” Thorin snaps at the ginger elf that had man handled you. What a bitch.

“Oh is this human your girlfriend?awwe.” The blond elf snickers at Thorin, kili and fili gag at the thought of their uncle being in a relationship.

“Uh princess , yeah you with the dance pants. Treat the king of erebor with a little respect. Assbutt.” You glare at the blond, who tended at your words. Haha loser.

“There is no king under the mountain not will there ever be.” He replies , scowling at you.

“Yes , there will be , princess.” He scoffs.

———————————————————

The blonde elf that you soon discover his name is legolas ,and he is the kings sOn.

Bilbo was missing , aand the company were led to the woodland realm. You could only hope that he would find a way for us to escape.

You and Thorin were spilt from the other dwarves, we were brought to the king. He stuck a deal with Thorin who declined. This king was as dickhead , and narcissistic. Legolas is stood next to you just in case you tried anything .

“Take him alway, ill take to his girlfriend now.” The woodland king states to his guard smoothly.

You scoff.

“ I am literally 18, you perv.”

You feel his ice eyes , stare at you , judging , your whole life, your clothing.

“You are not from here are you,child?” He must of noticed your keanu reeves shirt.

“No”

“tell me why you travel with these dwarves.”

“Why, I like them.”

He scoffs “they are scum, pigs , thieves.” He growls at you , circling you.

“Oi princess , this is your daddy?” You ask legolas who refuses to meet your eye.

“ all I can say is, at least thorin actually loves me and he’s not even my real dad.” Thranduils jaw clenched so hard that he probably could bite your head off.

“We are NOT talking about my son we are talking a bout you.”

“ okay listen here you self obsessed prick, I don’t give a shit about what you want, so cut the shit and get to the point.”

“ I want you to get my the gems of starlight,Thorin won’t expect it from you, I’ll let you all go.”

You feel bad for legolas his dad is soulless, makes him do everything while , he sits on his throne , acting like Gaston.

“No, I am not doing that to my friends, If you wasnt such an asshole and helped Thorin when Azog attacked them he probably would’ve given them to you. But you didn’t. So you suck”

Thranduils faces fled with red , he was angry he whipped his head to towards you.

“Get her to her cell now, legolas.”

“Just saying who risks their own sons life on a forest that clearly can’t be saved,”

“My sons well being doesn’t concern you. Human.”

“You clearly haven’t got love with son. You need to get yourself a girl mat-“

you are interrupted by a slap in the face.

“Well that was a girly move, who slaps , go punch me instead.”

Legolas pulls you out of the rooms quickly, not allowing things to worsen, walking you towards the cells.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why?”

He stops and looks at you,” because he will probably execute your friends.”

“Doubt it , he wants them gems , then he needs someone to kill the dragon.” You speak carefully walking down the stairs.

He hummed in response.

After you walked into your cell,you turned and smiled at him. You knew he wasn’t as mean as he portrayed himself as.

“Uh sorry for making fun of your trousers ,” you whispered so thorin didn’t hear , he would skin him.

He smiled lightly “sorry my Ada slapped you.”

“It was a bitch move not going to lie. “ you reach up to my face that still stung, You grin.

“I have no doubt you are going to escape.” He whispers.

“Yes sir. Stay safe princess,savvy?”

———————————————————

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh” you let out , as the water in the river splashed you hard in the face.

“Why is this so fun, yet we are still being hunted.” You throw up arms like you are on a ride in a theme park, until an arrow flies at yodu and almost hits you.

You turn to see legolas , you wave to him. He just keeps running after you and the dwarves , saying our butts , see he was a good dude.

Because of you distracting legolas , he couldn’t see an orc going to hit Tauriel. She got punched square in the nose , falling into legolas , whodidn’t see it coming and fell in the water.

For elves being graceful, that wasn’t ,but fortunately he landing in the water right near you. You reach in the water and some how pull him up so he’s holding onto the barrel. You lean back so it doesn’t tip his way. Still does. He’s stuck in the water with you. You offer him a smile.

“How was your fall?” You ask him.

“Into the water ? Amazing.” He replies grunting.

‘No falling from heaven”

“Oh.” He blushes

[tiesandtea]

SUEDE: Style & Substances

Alternative Press, May 1997 (no. 106). Mag cover. Written by Dave Thompson. Archived here.

Suede Give Us A Glimmer...

Bleeding through the debate about vocalist Brett Anderson's sexuality and rumored drug intake, the overall glamour with which society equates a fucked-up lifestyle drapes Suede like a second skin. Dave Thompson travels to London to discover why Suede are one of the few bands that matter in an age of stars who are "just like you."

Brett Anderson leans against an amplifier, hands in pocket, shoulders hunched. To his left, the rest of Suede are playing Fleetwood Mac's "Albatross"; to his right, a television crew is fiddling with camera angles. He wants a cigarette, but he never smokes this close to showtime. Instead, he swings a keychain and glowers into the monitors. It's rehearsal time in Studio Four, a theater-sized room as the BBC, and the only person who's enjoying himself is an increasingly rotund-looking Jools Holland. He's the host of this evening's show, and he's away in another room entirely. 

Later...With Jools Holland is a British TV institution. Less than three years old, it has nevertheless sewn up a comfortable niche somewhere between the chart-conscious grooviness of Top of the Pops and the more indulgent pastures of MTV Unplugged. It's a showcase for bands to run through a handful of new songs, play a favorite or two and give a taste of their live prowess without boring the unconverted senseless. Boring themselves senseless, of course, is another matter entirely, and as Suede are counted into the third rehearsal of their opening song "Trash," you can almost sense the desperation in Anderson's face. Then the action starts, and he's utterly transformed. Though he's barely moving and scarcely singing, he's conveying an intensity that explodes from his very presence, drawing the most disinterested eyes in his direction. Even the soundmen look up from their meters, and the camera crew compete for his undying attention. If Anderson weren't a rock star, he'd make a great lunatic. But because he is a rock star...well, he's probably a lunatic anyway. You would be, too, in his shoes. If the 1990s have given us anything, it's the demystification of the rock star. From the boy-next-door Weezers to the angst-ridden whiners, the message is the same: I'm no different from you; I'm no better than you; and, of course, I'm just as screwed up as you. Enter, or more properly, re-enter Suede, with their third album, Coming Up (Columbia). And all that hard work reducing idols to idiots counts for nothing. Because Suede couldn't be "just like you" even if they wanted to. Bleeding through the "is he?/isn't he?" debate about vocalist Brett Anderson's sexuality and the "does he?/doesn't he?" of his rumored drug intake, the overall glamour with which society equates a fucked-up lifestyle drapes Suede like a second skin. The scent of teen spirit clings to them, the doomed romanticism of consumptive youth which peaked on their last album, 1994's Dog Man Star, and peeks through the stunning Coming Up. Suede deal in emotional extremes, from the A Clockwork Orange apocalypse of their "We Are The Pigs" video in which armed hooligans howl through a burning industrial landscape while Suede gaze down from giant video screens, to the incandescent loneliness of the current "Saturday Night" video, in which a London subway station is transformed into a rave to which the band have not been invited. The band's junkie chic is as apparent in the stoned immaculate presentation of their latest wasted-youth album-cover artwork, as it is in the gorgeously gaunt frame which Anderson angles for the television cameras. Add a live show that oozes subversive glamour; couple that with the fearless decadence of Anderson's greatest lyrics, and whether it's all an act or not, Suede are a walking advertisement for the joyful sins of sleaze. Backstage in the bowels of the BBC, Anderson sighs. He's heard all this before. "Yeah, you can look at it like that, but that's other people's interpretation of it, and that's their problem. You can't look at yourself through other people's eyes, then worry about what you say through their ears; you've got to have some self-belief in what you are." Which is, right now, the biggest thing on 10 legs. Across Europe and the Far East, Coming Up charted at No.1 and has already outsold both its predecessors. Three singles have kept the pot boiling ever since, and the current Suede line-up (their fifth on record since their 1990 "Be My God" 7-inch single debut) is their strongest yet. Like Brian Eno's departure from Roxy Music, founding guitarist Bernard Butler's exit did not so much rid the band of one creative spark, as open the door for the flowering of another. Anderson's unequivocal grasping of the reins, only partly aided by the recruitment of guitarist Richard Oakes, may have diluted Suede's overall sound, but it has sharpened their vision to a razor's edge. The further addition of keyboardist Neil Codling fills the gaps that teen maestro Oakes couldn't plug; the Simon Gilbert/Mat Osman rhythm section is a thunderous roar that never lets up; and Coming Up is unmistakably the sound of the same great band that recorded Dog Man Star. The difference is, Anderson affirms, they've stopped pissing around. "After Dog Man Star, everyone thought we were going to do an operetta or something like that. But you get things out of your system. We wanted to refocus the band, the fact that we were virtually starting again; we wanted to readjust the basics." And did it work? "You can't completely divorce yourself from your past. I haven't got the memory of a goldfish; I was aware that I'd made two albums before it. But it felt fresh, and it felt as though we were making the record away from a lot of the crap you have to deal with, away from the spotlight, which was great. Plus...", and here he gestures to new arrivals Codling and Oakes, "... there's less of an obsession with self-importance, which was definitely a change in the band. The last two albums were quite precious and self-important, and that can be good and that can be bad." Ah, preciousness. Plough through five years of Suede press and the buzzwords leap out: "superficial", "fake", "David Bowie" - three hollow sides to the same soulless coin. But most of the people who call Suede "pretentious" are the same ones who fancy the Spice Girls. And the closest those cynics get to class is the corridor outside the school room. "It does bother us a bit," says Anderson. "People always want to polarize bands into camps, and what I always find objectionable, even with journalists who are pro-Suede, is, they always want to write about us as an alternative to this good, honest musicianship going on elsewhere, which kind of implies that there isn't any good, honest musicianship going on within Suede." Anderson resents that implication, just as he resents the accusations of vanity that are flung at him with equal frequency - the two go hand in hand, after all. "People ask, 'Are you vain?' Hang on, let me turn the question around. If you were going to appear on television in front of five million people, you'd probably look in a mirror to see what you look like. You'll brush your hair and put a bit of make-up on because you don't want to look like a pig. Does that mean you're vain? I don't think it does. "Ninety-nine percent of my career thought is dedicated to thinking about music; a very tiny percentage is spent on image. I may go shopping once a month; but while I don't think we're the honest blokes down the pub, we're not kooky weirdos either. We're just what we are." A decent image, though, is still worth a thousand songs (ask Marilyn Manson), and if it's not their Englishness that holds Suede back in the U.S., then it has to be their appearance. They look weird. Catch the "Beautiful Ones" video: Codling apes the same abstracted pose of diffidence and boredom that once made a star of Sparks' Ron Mael; and Osman and Oakes look like they're trying to extinguish a particularly persistent cigarette end. Their singer is fey. Imagine Bryan Ferry if a stick insect stole his trousers. Their music is arty. And they come on like they're somehow special, so special that America poses little interest or challenge to Suede. Other bands make no secret of their desire to crack the country, nor do they hide their disgust when they fail. Suede, though, never seemed bothered. Past U.S. tours (three so far) have been languid affairs, barely publicized flirtations which almost gratefully acknowledge that as far as most people are concerned, Suede might as well be a lesbian performing artist. Anderson dictates the band's Stateside manifesto: "I don't give a shit." "Don't get me wrong: please don't portray us as some sort of anti-American thing, because we're not. But as far as America is concerned, you can talk about airplay and videos, but all it really boils down to is the fact that America doesn't like Suede. And I'm not going to knock it, if they don't like it, they don't like it." And what don't they like? Kurt Cobain had a tummy ache, and a nation felt his pain. Trent Reznor's dog died, and a nation held his hand. Brett Anderson wrote songs about holes in your arm ("The Living Dead") and pantomime horses ("Pantomime Horse"); he equates love with flyaway litter ("Trash"), and he's never been in rehab. "I hate that rehab shit! That's one place where America get really suckered, with those rehab rock bands. Let me explain what going into rehab means. It means you're cool because you used to do drugs, but now you're a good lad, and you're really '90s, so you want to give them up. But it's a complete excuse, and anybody who says it or does it is a complete careerist. I don't think the public shoulg go out and buy records by people whose record companies have told them to say they're going into rehab. You want to talk about fakes and falseness in the music business; I think this rehab rock thing is such a lot of dog shit." So you don't just say no? "I can't sit here and honestly say that drugs are bad for you, because I don't believe that, and I don't think anybody with a brain believes that." He elaborates: "Smoking a bit of pot and taking a bit of LSD can open a few barriers in your mind, although I certainly don't think taking smack, taking coke or taking crack does anything. I know I've taken drugs before and looked back on it and said, 'That's fucking crap; you should have got your act together and stopped taking them.' They just numb you and turn you into a wrong-thinking fucking idiot. "But that's the whole problem with drugs, isn't it? You can't say 'drugs' because there's so many different factes to it. 'It's an aid to creativity.' Well, some of it is, and some of it isn't. You can't paint everything with one brush." As for the veneer of glamour which Suede's own observations convey, the danger that, to quote the new album's "The Chemistry Between Us," "we are young and easily led," Anderson remains equally adamant. "There's no point in trying to filter things like 'Don't talk about this, don't talk about that.' Lots of times when I'm talking about drugs, I'm talking in a pedestrian context. I'm not trying to make it into a big deal; I talk about it like I'd talk about anything else that's in this room." And though he agrees there is a moral question, he also believes it's impossible to do much about it. "The only way you can set yourself up as something moral is in the broader sense, by not treating music as this completely throwaway, meaningless thing, and not treating the sentiments expressed in the music as completely throwaway, meaningless things. "That's where I see my position morally, someone who can write a love song and actually bring a degree of warmth to someone else. You can't act as censor in your words; you just have to be positive about what you're doing and see that making records that people love, that people cling to, and that help people through sticky patches in their lives is, at the end of the day, a positive thing to do. There's very few things I think that are positive in the world, but music is one of them." And that is that. In an age when a star is only as big as his last three videos, and most stars are as interesting as a line at the post office, Suede are three albums into a career that means more to more people than any of the bickering of Suede's petty, wormwood competitors; and certainly far more than the bitter, twisted harping of their detractors. Stars shine, shit stinks, and the lowest common denominator is nothing to be proud of. No one really wants to watch Hootie feed his blowfish, but Brett Anderson spends "Saturday Night" moping around on a subway train, and it's the best thing on MTV this year. Who cares what else he gets up to? Turning as he heads for the soundstage, Anderson won't be drawn. "My drugs of choice are ginseng and chamomile tea, but don't worry. I'm going into rehab soon."

[buffysummers]

I wish they addressed their own inconsistencies with the show in a better way, but instead they wrote whatever they felt like writing at that moment. Because the soul thing creates a complexity with Spike’s character while also simultaneously creating a disservice to Angel’s character. The soul thing is what made Angel’s situation “special” and complicated, but if they’re backtracking and implying that “yeah vampires can maybe sometimes have souls” it’s like...Angel is this weirdo that has this curse for no reason because he’s suppose to have a soul anyway. I understand mild inconsistencies (like vampires allegedly not having a breath which is why Xander had to do CPR, but then vampires are shown smoking on multiple occasions) like they aren’t a big deal. But to have two very interesting characters contradict each other for the same reason is bad for the show and I’m forcing myself not to think too deep about when I watch

i’m sorry that you feel that way, but they do address it in season seven a bit. I don’t know what season you’re on... but I don’t really mind it *that* much after I found out why it happened, especially bc I knew that joss’s intention was always to stay true to what angel says about it in 1x07. angel/angelus is a whole other topic that is only briefly touched on in btvs bc it’s still buffy’s show, but that dynamic is fleshed out in ats. in btvs, they are established as separate entities, but what’s so fascinating about it, is that angelus only happens bc of angel... like everything angelus hates, everything he does, is completely tied to angel and his feelings. you can’t really separate what angelus does from angel bc he only behaves this way as a way to punish angel. he’s literally at war with two sides of himself. some people on here have written great meta about how angelus does love buffy in the only way he can... like it’s a sick and twisted love rooted in darkness, the polar opposite of what real love should be. this is also touched on in ats. it’s so interesting and it’s really fun to discuss bc there’s!!! so much!!! I kind of look at it this way: angel is still a very special case because his soul is tied to a curse. as for spike’s characterization, without a soul he is purely motivated for selfish reasons. it’s like he can mimic feelings, and he believes these feelings are true and real, but it’s only surface-level. even if you look at the good he’s done, there is always a reason behind it that benefits him in some way. being soulless, he sees everything as black and white, but with a soul, we have a better understanding that most of life is just one giant shade of gray. the soul is what enables you to feel the full gravity of your choices, and see the complexities of those choices, and see how it impacts others. it grants you understanding, ie: a conscience. and you see that when you compare ensouled angel and soulless spike. there’s just so much to this topic and I don’t want to spoil things for you

[blookmallow]

rating spirit halloween clowns again

speaking of spirit halloween,

i previously rated a bunch of spirit halloween clown costumes and now that its halloween times again im back at it again with animatronic clowns this time. they have a very nice pennywise as well but im only rating original clowns here  

clowning around

a pretty good boy, i like his face and his spooky eyes, i always love a good monochrome clown but hes got this goofy country bumpkin accent im not really vibing with. he is VERY tall so i imagine he’s probably scarier in person though i have not had an opportunity to meet him. the screaming children are a unique touch but they kinda just look like floppy baby dolls if you look at them too closely. not a fan of anything that would cause whatever spooky attraction you’re making to have constant child screaming sounds playing, either, but, hes still a pretty good clown. hes also the only clown in this old timey monochrome style im seeing here so he gets props for that. 7/10

rotten ringmaster

i dont think clowns are usually ringmasters but points for creativity but then points lost again bc his face just looks so. generically creepy. he just looks boring to me. like hes trying to be pennywise but didn’t quite make it. this child victim looks slightly better than before but also has very very fake little cloth legs and mr ringmaster looks really weirdly proportioned from any other angle and not in a spooky way just in a Weird Bendy Way. 5/10, i dont really know why im so uninterested in this guy 

cuddles the clown

look at this fucked up weirdo what am i even LOOKING at here. he looks like a clown made of nightmares and snakes. his fingers are just more clowns. i desperately want to see this thing in person i cannot get OVER this guy i cannot imagine this thing existing in physical space even with the video 10/10

mr salty

he acts like he’s flashing you only to reveal a very... particularly placed shorter clown. the little one’s name is willy. i do not like it at all 1/10 this gets one point for the fact that i like “surprise it’s TWO clowns” if this wasn’t designed Like That 

i also can’t tell if they’re like, sharing the same pair of shoes or if they’re bizarre conjoined twin clowns or what the fuck is going on 

fright in the box

I SAW THIS BOX EARLIER I DIDN’T KNOW THERE WAS A CLOWN IN IT i cant wait to go back and meet him. im not a big fan of jumpscare animatronics, though they are effective. i like that this guy doesnt seem to have any kind of body. he just looks like a spooky napkin. big beetlejuice vibes here i like him 7/10

tug-of-war

TWO OF THEM!!! 

these guys are playfully fighting over a screaming child like brothers fighting over a teddy bear. the fact that they don’t move very fast or very violently makes it seem less threatening and more like they just want to play but are very bad at it which is endearing to me for some reason. i want to hang out with them. mostly im just trying to figure out what the fuck is happening with the right guy’s face though 

what is going ON here. this might be among one of the weirdest clowns i have ever seen but hes so different and visually interesting i legitimately really like him. getting some strong jigsaw vibes from the other guy, i like him as well. i like his cute overalls. big fan of these guys. 10/10

waving wally

what a nice young man he doesnt jump out to scare you or threaten you hes just wavin. hi wally. he seems friendly i would hang out with him too. i like this one bc he has mostly pretty normal features/body proportions so he looks more believably like a regular guy instead of a Monster Clown Creature which i personally like a lot more. i like his empty void eyes a lot. not sure about the light up nose though. kind of a rudolph look going on there. i like his little hat. i dunno theres something very pleasant about wally hes simple and visually pleasing and he is my friend 10/10

crouchy 

crouchy is such an unpleasant name and i feel like they coulda done better than just naming him after the position hes in but whatever. this guy’s a pretty generic monster clown, there’s not a lot of creativity going on here but if you want a nice monster clown for whatever occasion you need a monster clown for, he’s pretty good. he is VERY tall. the effect is pretty imposing in person, i met him last year. he doesn’t talk he just laughs. here to have a good time. 7/10

uncle charlie 

look at this guy!!! i like him. i like his very spooky face combined with the big silly flower/etc. theres a nice jarring contrast there. kinda has almost the exact same head as crouchy though. he doesn’t jumpscare you either from what i can tell he just hangs out and looks ominous. hes my friend i like him 8/10

towering creepy clown

the description says his name is grimsli. i thought his neck ruffle was a bib at first. pretty generic but i like his noodly legs. 6/10 i feel like he may have been on display here last year too he looks familiar 

peek-a-boo clown

he’s a clown, he’s spooky, he plays peekaboo. pretty straight forward. his movement is pretty smooth actually though. his outfit is hideous even by clown standards, but to the point i think it actually works for him somehow. his face looks more like a weird zombie than a clown to me but he DOES have rainbow swirly eyes so BIG props for that. 7/10

clown ferris wheel

LOOK AT THEM THEY’RE SO CUTE i love the ones with the empty soulless eyes. the fact that this doesn’t have any dialogue recorded or anything and the clowns just silently stare and spin around and around with a slightly off kilter circus tune looping makes it equally unsettling and hilarious. i legitimately want this thing. if i was rich and owned a house i would have this thing in my living room all year long and everyone who knows me would absolutely hate it. 10/10

also it doesnt look like they’re selling hugz the clown on their site right now which saddens me i hope he hasnt been discontinued :( i met him last year hes good and i like him as well

[vagrantblvrd]

Sky Factory Android Shenanigans is giving me so many ideas?

That super cliché sci-fi AU where Michael’s an android on the run (because reasons???) and he ends up on one backwater planet/colony somewhere. Parts on the fritz thanks to a run in with some black ops/assassination squad and he needs repairs but doesn’t know who to trust?

Broadcasts reporting him as, idk, malfunctioning and the whatnot and a danger to the public – do not approach or engage – and call the authorities if you see this unit.

(Unit, like he’s not a person anymore, had his autonomy stripped away along with his humanity and goddamn him for being stupid enough to trust whatever organization he signed up for that got him killed, turned him into this and fucked him over again with all the secrets it was keeping he hadn’t even guessed at before stumbling on them, hence the android on the run part of things? But yes.)

And then he overhears someone talking about this lunatic living on the fringes of whatever settlement he’s come to. Like something out of the true crime stories he used to follow when he was a kid – or is that just another implanted memory?

Shady as hell and rife with con-men and thieves and worse, perfect place to hide out for a while until his stupid body shuts down and he dies for real out here.

Half-blind most days because that shot to the head and it acts up at the worst times. Almost gets him killed a few times when some of those thieves and worse ambush him in an alley and it’s sheer luck he manages to get out of it without suffering more damage.

Anyway, anyway, he hears about this lunatic who’s supposed to be some kind of mechanical genius, right? Doesn’t run a real shop, lives out by the main scrapyard like a weirdo. People bring their busted machines and gadgets and the whatnots to him and he fixes them up nice and pretty-ish. (Cheaper than the officially licensed technicians near the spaceport and a hell of a lot more discreet to boot.)

So.

Michael makes his way there, half-convinced he’s walking into a trap but it’s take that risk or end up being a pile of spare parts in the guy’s scrapyard anyway, right?

And at first the asshole doesn’t even respond when Michael knocks on his door, pretends he’s not home or whatever and Michael’s just.

At the end of his rope and angry and defeated and he starts yelling at the fucker until his vocalizer glitches out, and that’s when the door snaps open, sending Michael tumbling inside where he lands on his face because his everything is fucked up and he doesn’t react fast enough.

Looks up to see someone staring down at him, implants and augments like whoa because no human has an eye that glows red unless it’s in one of those old horror holovids.

“What do you want?

Surly bastard, which lines up with the things Michael overheard before.

Loner who doesn’t really gt left alone because people need things, don’t they, and there’s not a lot of  money coming into a place like this. Old mining planet/colony where the companies pulled their operations out when the mines ran dry and only the worst kind of people come by anymore.

The few decent people left behind too poor to relocate, so it’s a shitshow and as someone with the skills to he has he gets visitors more often than he’d care for. (Customers or someone hoping to take what he has any way they have to, which explains the weapon in his hand and Michael’s almost to point he’d just let the fucker shoot him to be done with it, but.)

He stands up, servos and whatever else he’s made of these days creaking and groaning and this little flash of light that may be actual sparks coming off him and he sees the guy’s grimace at how bad off he is.

Like Jesus, if he wasn’t what he was Michael knows someone would have scrapped him a few planets back, but whatever.

The guy – Ryan, of course it’s Ryan – flips the lights on and they get a good look at one another.

Michael’s headed for a full-system shutdown and Ryan?

Looks like he’s been through some shit. Enough augments and implants that the legal system would be hard-put classifying him as human anymore, leaning past cyborg and dangerously close to being an android himself like some of those soldiers Michael’s seen who got caught up in the outer worlds skirmishes a few years back.

A lot of them look cobbled together from whatever parts he could find out here, which makes sense if the guy’s here of all places. (People don’t end up somewhere like here if they have resources to call on, you know? And no one ends up somewhere like here if they’re not in some kind of trouble, so. Yeah.)

They regard each for a long, long time.

Michael knows Ryan recognizes him, but he’s too tired to bother running – been doing too much of that as it is – and he wouldn’t get far in the shape he’s in if he tried

Last resort and the way that goes and Ryan sighs, gesturing for Michael to follow him and he does because what else is he going to do?

Ryan fixes him up, this long on-going process that takes a long damn time because Michael’s so busted up. Has this little helper bot he’s built out of old construction bots or something because its still sporting that distinct yellow paint job, little black and white stripe along its side.

Beeps and chirps and boops whenever Ryan asks it to bring him this tool or that, dig through the bins along one wall for parts or whatever. Hovers along just behind him when they’re not in the workshop/lab loyal little helper and kind of cute in a weird kind of way.

Ryan calls it E.D.G.A.R. and when Michael asks what the acronym stands for Ryan shrugs because hell if he knows, he just thought it was appropriate, which what does that even mean???

Ryan and E.D.G.A.R. dig through the bits and pieces he has stashed in his workshop/lab/lab, cannibalize worker androids – makes and models who didn’t start out as humans like Michael did – for some of it. Searches through the scrapyard to find parts he can modify for the rest.

Once he gets Michael functioning to a high enough level he can lend a hand Michael’s out there too, digging through piles of appliances and machinery and trying not to look too hard at the scattered android parts and chassis tossed in there too. (Some look too human, synthetic flesh torn and weathered from being unprotected from the elements for who know how long)

They don’t really get friendly, the two of them, but Ryan forgets to play the curmudgeon the longer he works at fixing Michael up.

Doesn’t ask who Michael is or how he ended up here, doesn’t seem like he’s waiting on the authorities to come claim him either.

Kind of a confusing time for them both because it’s clear Ryan’s got his own secrets, you know?

More than just some guy who picked up what he knows ‘along the way’, no.

There’s an order to his workshop/lab/lab Michael recognizes from the days right after those fuckers turned him into a machine, the way he works.

Meticulous as hell and so precise and just. More care than any of the hacks Michael’s gone to since he’s been on the run.

And then!

And then there’s – Michael doesn’t know when the shift happens but he bitches about something and Ryan laughs, quiet little huff of air and this tell-tale quirk to his mouth, and he gives Michael this. This look.

Something thoughtful to it he doesn’t really understand, can’t fucking compute, but who cares, right? Because Ryan’s less of a bastard after that, they get along better and Michael stops worrying Ryan’s just waiting for the right moment to turn him in, thinks his luck might be changing on him – so of course that’s when things go to shit.

Someone must have seen Michael before, recognized him and figured out he went to Ryan for help because the people chasing Michael?

They find him.

Assassination squad(s) and both of them unprepared for it and Ryan gets hit, gets hit bad.

More machine than man, but there’s still enough squishy human left to him that a bullet/energy weapon shot in the right place will kill him, you know? (Besides, all those augments and implants are hooked up to his squishy human parts in amazingly delicate ways and it’s real fucking easy to use that against someone if you know how.)

Michael doesn’t get away unscathed himself, but of the two of them he’s far more functional. And even though Ryan didn’t have the right parts and components to bring him up to factory specs again, so to speak, he did a damn good job with what he had on hand, you know?

There’s also the fact that the people who made Michael what he is now didn’t expect him to turn on them, thought they had a nice loyal dog in their hands and they made a mistake giving him the teeth and claws they did. All these built-in weapons because he’s a prototype, isn’t he.

New war machine to sell to the highest bidder and better than all those soulless robots people were using before because there’s a human mind in there capable of making the kind of decisions and choices and whatever else a simple computer program or AI could ever hope to. (Real fucking close to the complex sort of AI they’d need for that, but not close enough to satisfy the corporations or military forces who would commission them.)

So.

Michael gets them out of there, follows E.D.G.A.R. to this ship Ryan’s got hidden away – looks like shit but Ryan – stubbornly hanging on – insists it’ll get them to safety, just don’t fly them into the sun or a fucking planet, for Christ’s sake.

Michael gets Ryan into the medbay which – surprise, surprise – looks like a smaller version of Ryan’s workshop/lab/ than a medbay, but who cares at this point.

Hooks him up to machines to keep him alive until he can give him proper medical care and gets them away from any pursuers.

When he goes back down to check on Ryan it’s to find the asshole directing E.D.G.A.R. to open up this   pod on the wall. (Looks more like a casket.)

Human shaped and something about it unsettles Michael who demands to know what’s going on, because Ryan shouldn’t be doing what’s he’s doing.

Seriously injured and lost a lot of blood and any normal human would be dead by this point, and Ryan.

He sighs, gives Michael this look because they both know he’s not going to get better from his injuries, you know? Squishy human parts all fucked up and augments and implants malfunctioning worse than Michael had been when he went to Ryan.

Only a matter of time and Ryan knew something like this would happen one day – all the things Michael was careful not to ask Ryan the same way Ryan didn’t ask Michael because secrets. (And Plot Reasons, but c’mon, you know how this works by now.)

E.D.G.A.R. cracks the pod/casket open and oh, wow, surprise, surprise there’s an android body inside it.

Looks a hell of a lot like Michael’s, but this one is a little bigger, bulkier. Looks like an older version, one that was modeled more after the construction androids, used for heavy labor and the whatnot. No synthetic flesh cover its frame, all powered down and waiting and -

“Don’t do this,” Michael says, because Ryan thinks he knows what he’s doing but he doesn’t.

He doesn’t.

(Michael doesn’t know what else they can do, but this - there has to be another way.)

Ryan gives Michael this sad little smile and it’s horrifying because internal bleeding and everything else, and he’s just.

“Michael,” he says, and he sounds so tired. “Why do you think I knew how to repair you?”

Because Ryan didn’t end up in some backwater planet/colony by accident, you know?

Doesn’t know the things he does because he read about it somewhere or had a job working in a goddamned repair shop on one of the inner worlds.

None of those easy little lies Michael kept telling himself, no.

Ryan used to work for this corporation, big on advancing science and all that bullshit that had major funding provided by the military and so on and so forth. People real interested in cutting down on human bloodshed and what better way than to create machines to do it for them?

Things went wrong along the way, and they got desperate as project after project failed to live up to expectation. (Some key component missing and it wasn’t until someone decided morals and ethics were oh so troublesome they made any real headway.)

People like Michael and accidents here and there, soldiers offer a second chance and there’s an experimental program that hasn’t been revealed to the public. Dangerous, of course, but -

Some people got a choice in the matter, sold their souls for that second chance. Others like Michael never had that luxury.

And Ryan, oh. He was part of that, wasn’t he.

Designed the androids because the science of it all, but he never expected things would lead where they did.

Got to watch as his creations were used in the worst possible ways, saw the early days where human brains couldn’t cope with the transfer progress. Breadth and depth of what makes a human mind (soul?) shoved into a computerized/cybernetic shell of its former self, most without warning and the fallout -

Most committed suicide, some went mad. The others had to be destroyed as they decayed.

And Ryan.

He tried to expose them, did what he could and it almost, almost worked.

But one man against a vast conglomeration fueled by greed and corruption and it almost killed him. (Should have, maybe that would have been better.)

He had a handful of augments and implants before everything went to hell to help him in his work, but afterward.

Well.

Squishy human bodies are just that, aren’t they. Get injured so badly they can’t be fixed and he ended up needing more and more until he might as well have been one of those androids he created once upon a time. (Poetic justice to it, or so he thought when he bothered to think about it at all.)

And anyway, anyway, that doesn’t matter at this point because it’s either transfer his squishy human brain-stuff into the waiting android frame or die.

Before all this, before Michael, Ryan might have chosen death. Figured it’s what he deserved for his part in things, no way he can expose the people responsible when he’s failed before, but.

Michael makes him want to try.

(Ryan knew, you see, while he was fixing Michael that the idiot would go right back out once he was done and try to do the impossible. May have drawn things out longer than he should have to prevent that from happening because he likes Michael, okay? Too much, maybe.)

This isn’t the way he saw things going, but he doesn’t want to die now. Doesn’t want to leave Michael alone to fix Ryan’s mistakes. (And maybe it’s not all on Ryan to fix, but who else is going to do it?)

So.

Michael hates it, hates it so much but he does what Ryan tells him to do. Gets him hooked up to the right machines, boots up the right programs and whatever else and watches Ryan die as he turns himself into an android.

He doesn’t know why Ryan’s doing what he’s doing, thinks it’s because he doesn’t want to just fade away into nothing, but Ryan tells him later.

Tells him everything as he’s figuring out how his new android body works, the two of them following gossip and rumors surrounding this broadcast someone’s sending out about the people responsible for making Michael what he is. Things said people are trying to shut down, shut down hard, but can never catch.

He tells him and Michael listens and it’s not easy, God is it ever not, but they come to an understanding  or something like that.

Ryan didn’t know, not for the longest time and when he did he tried to do something about that, and that has to count for something.

(He saved Michael’s life or whatever the hell you’d call it when he turned up on his doorstep, and that counts for something too.)

And just.

Michael’s got his own mistakes too, okay.

So.

They figure things out, and Ryan fixes up his android body so its face looks like his human one and he maybe upgrades it, Michael laughing at him when Ryan goes on and on and on about laser hands or whatever the hell. (Ridiculous and impractical as hell, but goddamn does it sound cool.)

Also, also? Ryan doesn’t have the combat training/protocols Michael does so ~training. Partly to get him used to how his new body moves, partly because they don’t have access to adequate things at first and Michael runs him through the basics, right?

And he teaches Ryan how to compensate for it when his targeting whatevers are on the fritz and Ryan proves to be a better shot than Michael? (New ways to bring old cliches and tropes into play, is what I’m getting at here.)

Those moments where Ryan comes up against the limitations of his new body, realizes what he’s lost when he chose to become an android and Michael just being there because he’s the best person to understand what he’s going through?

The two of them becoming this amazing team over time that is an actual threat to the people after them? (And E.D.G.A.R., because Ryan is too damn fond of the bucket of bolts.)

They run into assassination squads and whatever else and finally, finally find the source of the broadcasts and of course it’s Matt and all these misfits and outcasts with grudges against the assholes after Michael and Ryan and it’s just.

Shenanigans in space as this group of supposed space pirates/smugglers/criminal types take on a corrupt corporation because reasons.

Also, yes, totally FAHC AU in space, but different ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

================

More of this AU with Jerevin this time???