#it's just that I think this whole game jam is poisoning my mind. I feel like a really bad artist when I look at the other entries

[spicymotte]

okay uhm. to be honest. when I see whole studios and huge teams participating in the game jam (and their entries are PHENOMENAL, absolutely stunning) I get very very intimidated as well as frustrated because I'm a beginner solo dev and I just can't keep up with teams full of artists, writers and programmers (especially the programming/coding part, I'm a super beginner). I'm fully aware of the fact that it's not about winning, there’s no way I’d win anything at all, but I still feel really bad. I look at my rustical, absolutely beginner VN and feel... ashamed of it. I'm quite confident in my storytelling skills and I'm a really good artist with an eye for atmosphere and setting the mood - but this whole thing just feels like I have no place there. well, I'm gonna opt out of the game jam! I just don't feel like this is a good place for me to learn this new media. I will finish Jupiter Exitus so you guys can play it (and hopefully enjoy it!), but I don't think I'll submit it to the jam.

[lady-literature]

So I know there’s a couple of eldritch horror!izuku fics or like, this fic where obsessive love is a whole ass theme (but not in an abusive way? I think, it might just be the mental illness luv) and it definitely has The Vibes (@ that murder scene tho *chef’s kiss*), but has anyone done a fic where the Midoriyas are just like,,, the Addam’s Family?

Cause I thought about it and now I can’t get it out of my head.

Like, can you imagine how chaotic and gleefully creepy Izuku would be if he just,,, grew up as an unkillable Addams? How reckless he would be but almost in that way of, not quite determination but rather just, ‘oh this is insanely dangerous, how exciting!’

Anyway, I don’t have any actual plot for this, but I do have A Vibe and a random scattering of scenes rattling around in my brain:

Izuku is born, pale as death with eyes as green as acid. He nearly kills his mother in the process, blood pooling beneath her and exhaustion clawing at her chest. But when she holds him, her dearest bundle of woe, she trails her fingertips along the blood she hadn’t let the doctors clean him of, and she laughs.

“How delightful,” she says. “Just born and already you’re trying to kill your Mother? Oh, how jealous Cousin Morticia will be when she hears.”

***

Izuku’s two the first time he sticks a fork in a light socket. His hair stands on end and his fingers blister and the whole block loses electricity. When Inko finds him, he’s pouting as he shoves the fork back into the socket only without the shower of sparks he so enjoyed the first time. Inko laughs as she picks him up, her hands stinging with static electricity for a moment.

***

Izuku grows up drinking wolfsbane tea and eating such delicious sweets as: chocolate chip, almond cookies (with extra helpings of cyanide for flavor) and cakes with belladonna frosting for special occasions. Inko mixes rat poison into his pancakes and waffles to give it a kick. A kid tried his sandwich once and had to be taken to the hospital. It’d been made with apricot jam, but his mother likes to crush the seeds up and mix them in.

Afterward, Inko has to explain to him that other kids can’t eat the same things he does.

Izuku silently wonders if he should stop sharing his cookies with Kacchan.

(Ultimately, Izuku decides that Kacchan wouldn’t let him stop anyway. And besides, he’s surely built up the resistance to it by now. What harm could it do?)

***

Inko has a garden in their backyard. Most of the plants are either carnivorous or poisonous. All of them are vaguely sentient. Izuku adores all of them and feeds the carnivores dead animals he finds.

(It’s best not to wonder how or where he found them.)

***

Inko only takes Izuku to the park when he wants to play with Katsuki.

Otherwise, she packs the picnic basket, and they set off to the cemetery. Inko wanders between gravestones, leaving behind offerings and greeting old friends while Izuku runs amok playing with the younger ghosts.

Sometimes, his new playmates like him so much they never want him to leave.

Izuku’s gotten very good at playing dead. “I just don’t want them to feel bad,” he explains to her as she cleans off all the blood. “It’s not their fault we’re hard to kill after all.”

Inko hums and kisses his forehead. Her lips come away smeared with red. “That’s very kind of you, little viper.”

***

Izuku grows and grows and grows.

There’s a certain kind of darkness that hangs around him. A frigid air, as cold as a gravestone in winter. It scares away most of the children, and Izuku makes it through life without being bothered for the most part.

Those children who do walk right past the warning sign though, they never last long anyway.

The voices that lovingly whisper secrets into his ears are not as kind to the children who dared try and harm their own. Izuku has an air of madness around him.

And often, it is those around him who succumb to its addictive taste.

***

Izuku never quite understood his cousin Pugsely’s obsession with explosives. They seemed… flashy, in his opinion. He much preferred a good knife, or the clever little mind games Wednesday liked to employ. Subtle things, bloody things.

But then, when Izuku is hovering around nine years old, he watches Kacchan reduce a tree to nothing more than splinters and ash, screaming obscenities and death threats the whole time.

Izuku has known Kacchan for years, has been around his explosive friend and his explosive quirk for years. But, well. Compared to the things he’s seen Pugsley do, Kacchan hardly seemed to control anything more than sparks.

Izuku isn’t really sure what changes his mind. But all he knows, is that as Kacchan stands there, panting, his palms bleeding from the yet too large explosions and the ricocheting wood, and Izuku finds he has a newfound appreciation for things that go boom.

***

Izuku decides he wants to become a hero for two reasons.

The first, is that Kacchan wants to be a hero and Izuku figures he may as well join him.

The second, is that his father is already Japan’s most dangerous villain, and while Izuku is nothing if not determined, he thinks the two hundred year head start his father has is a bit unfair. So Izuku’s going to forge a new path instead of trying to outshine his father at what he does best.

Besides, he thinks, isn’t it just a bit poetic of him? The whole, father and son on opposite sides of a conflict thing?

Dad’ll probably be annoyed, but he’ll also find it funny and be more proud about his initiative, so.

[spockandawe]

First of all thank you for your edit in mtl finale and extras chapters of thousand autumns....I see your blog talk alot about mxtx works and faraway wanderer (love your blog, btw)....can I ask about qian qiu? Who are your favorite characters in qian qiu? And what do like about shen qiao and yan wushi relationship? Thanks again.....

No problem at all!! I was having such a lovely time with that book and was heartbroken to see that translation gap at the end. I wasn't sure anyone would be interested in an mtl edit, and it's been delightful to see how happy it's made some folks! Someday I'll have to go through a side by side reading with a real translation and see how good my instincts were, haha

Oh man, this book...... Okay, to start, by far, my faves are Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao. They're both very strong Archetypes, but executed in a really lovely compelling way. My least favorite part of the book is honestly the overwhelming number of side characters, and if I hadn't enjoyed both leads so much, I would have absolutely stalled out. It's not a problem with the author, because i love the peerless/wushuang side cast, but something about this book... Some of the side characters were decent, like Bai Rong and the kids, but the two leads were what kept me going.

Shen Qiao is less My Type, and I'm not even sure how to explain why I like him so much. He's not UNlike Xie Lian, but even if they have similar temperaments, they have different priorities. At first I dont think I cared about him too-too much, and i worried he would just be a passive sexy doormat, because that is a character type you sometimes run into in the genre, but THAT actually echoes how i initially responded to Cui Buqu in Peerless, where the author baited and switched me HARD on what a character was all about. And i love it!

When he thwarted Yu Shengyan's assassination road trip adventure, even blind and amnesiac, that got my attention, but i dont think I REALLY got into him until he stone-cold killed a man. It's a really interesting balance of values going on with him, where he works so, so hard to be kind, in the face of an overtly cruel world, where he is FREQUENTLY hurt by his own determination to be kind, and.... where he still has his limits, which people can cross, and where he WILL respond as one of the top martial artists in the world. I just think he's Neat, especially in contrast to.......

YAN WUSHI! the clown love of my life! (I kid, feng xiao is my actual favorite clown man, but yan wushi sure is a hell of a contender). He's so INTERESTING. Especially in the early parts of the book, he very much is NOT kind, though he sometimes does kind acts for what are... usually cruel reasons. Saving Shen Qiao to see if he can corrupt Shen Qiao, things like that. It's an archetype i don't mind, but one I would get bored with if it was static over the course of a whole book. But also..... it's an archetype that is hard to believably develop past, especially when he isn't our main pov and our characters sometimes spend extended periods apart.

I desperately wish we had any more or his backstory, especially from his childhood, and what made him change his name, and what made him pick THIS name, where (i think) 'wushi' uses the characters for 'without a teacher'. I absolutely LIVE for his story about how a man tried and tried to polish a stone into a gem, until he had to finally admit that a stone was a stone, and he liked that stone better than any gem he'd ever seen. And especially........ I live for the way that by the time he tries to tell that story, Shen Qiao is absolutely DONE with his bullshit and is barely listening to what he says and parses exactly 0% of his intended meaning XD

Yan Wushi is perhaps the most self-sabotaging lead I've ever read in a novel. It's WILD. And to a certain extent, it smells like trauma, though the book never confirms anything, and Yan Wushi never tries to make excuses for his own shitty behavior. I would like him a lot less if he did, honestly. He spends a LOT of time acting in inexcusable ways, and only very gradually starts to realize 'wait, shit, i shouldn't'a done that'. And even then, when he knows what he WANTS, he still criticizes Shen Qiao for being willing to forgive him for his past actions. Shen Qiao rides a very fine line between being a reasonable character and being a caricature of a martyr, and Yan Wushi is one of the only characters who's willing to really dig into that.

And as he does so, he's very upfront about how HE is one of the people who's taken advantage of Shen Qiao too. It gives a very interesting flavor to the way his feelings grow. He says he's not sorry, and he never performs remorse or asks for forgiveness, and that.... I wouldn't necessarily say that he doesn't have any regrets, but the way he presents himself to Shen Qiao is brutally unforgiving, in a really interesting way that I haven't seen elsewhere.

(And once he starts being a little more kind and courting shen qiao more seriously....... what a fucking clown man playing clown games. When he did a deliberately shoddy cover-up of a fake medical emergency to try to trick shen qiao out of leaving. I just. I mcfucking lost it)

(Also the traumatic brain injury adventure. Also Yan Wushi being bitterly jealous of himself. The clownery is CHOICE)

And. I can't leave without saying a quick word for my two good boys who aren't actually good at all. Bian Yanmei, Yan Wushi's oldest disciple.... I love him. Why? We just don't know. But he's a good, polite boy, i swear, and there's something so charming about him (yu shengyan is also a good boy). And then there's Yu Ai. This. This is my type. This is a boy who's made a terrible choice that poisoned everything he cared most about, where he didn't realize how much he was ruining as he did it, only realized the consequences of his actions after it was all said and done. No matter how bitterly regretful he is, it can't be undone, and all he can do is press on along the path he's chosen, torn between the awareness that if he turns back now, he'll have sacrificed everything for nothing, but also the desperate desire to salvage something of what he once cherished. He showed up, and i was like 'oh no, you're going to make me hurt.' Sure enough, i cried. Yu Ai is so much my jam that it hurts. I can't even handle him.

[im-pok]

Just for fun (and to make these easier to find) I have made a compilation of JSRF quotes!

I did find the quotes from this video by RisingSonic17 on YouTube. I do suggest watching it as it gives more context to the lines:

Keep in mind that some interactions may be missing, as I have never played JSRF and may be unaware of some interactions. Characters and their quotes appear in chronological order according to the video.

Corn:

"This is the GG's Garage. Hey, where's our pizza? Huh? You're not the pizza guy? Oh, you're here to join the GG's, eh? Heh... Tell you what. Find Gum. She's the one you wanna talk to. Just get close to her and pull the 'Right Trigger'. Got it?"

"Why don't you talk to her now?"

"Now, just 'cause you're new don't mean you can act like a big baby. The police are tightening up here, especially since the Rokkaku took over the police force. I know we look crazy 'n all, but even we know to pick our fights. So don't mess things up for the rest of us, got it?"

"Roboy's training changes as your skill level changes, so be on the lookout."

"I had a feeling Poison Jam would have their hideout in the sewers beneath Rokkaku-dai Heights. This is it... looks like the time to throw down has finally come."

"Man, those Poison Jam freaks are out of control. I say we start on Chuo Street and cover everything to Rokkaku-dai Heights and 99th Street in our graffiti. Chuo Street is probably the best place to start."

"Roboy told you, right? If you find a Mystery Tape, you gotta check the GG-notebook. It'll tell you where to find the Graffiti Souls in the area."

"Where the hell is Yoyo? Maybe he freaked out and skipped town? I'm sure he's alright. But we gotta take care of those Immortals. They've been walkin' around like they own the place. We gotta go and cover up all their graffiti."

"I'll send those Immortals back to the grave as many times as I need to!"

"We'll stop those Noise Tanks!"

Gum:

"Poison Jam knows something about Yoyo. I know they do."

"Damn! Punk, I'll get you for that!"

"The fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

"Here they come. The crazies from the Golden Rhinos. Concentrate, and watch your back. These guys ain't no joke."

"We gotta protect the streets. That's not a choice. We can't let these fools just waltz in and take over."

"The real enemy is your own fear. Remember that."

"So you're the cat that wants to join us, huh? I don't know where you're from, but the streets are tough. Real tough. Let's see what you're made of. We'll start you off nice and slow. Let's see how much air you can grab. Press the "A Button" to jump."

"Dogenzaka Hill is GG territory. I heard there's some headphone wearin' freak creepin' up here. If I could just find him, I'd show him what's up...."

"You can do it, can't you?"

"There are a couple of places in Shibuya Terminal where you can get on the roof of some buildings. You can get there by jumping from a Grind. You should check it out. Who knows what you'll find up there? When you're looking for something, the best place to start is the Map. You can see it by pressing the START button."

"The area of 99th Street is built around a tower that has a bunch of places to Grind. Definitely check that place out. There are also telephone poles to Grind and billboards to Wallride... the most important thing is to just try everything out. Oh, and don't forget to check the map by pressing the START button. That should give you some helpful hints"

"We actually found Roboy in a dumpster. Corn fixed him up real nice."

"I've been lost in the severs before. Its kinda crazy in there, but as long as you keep moving up, you'll be ok."

"Yoyo just can't chill and stay out, can he? He'll be back soon, I'm sure. I heard the Immortals hang out in the skyscraper district or something..."

"Actually, they say Roboy is actually a Noise Tank prototype. Don't tell him that though, ok? We don't wanna make him cry or nothin'. In any case, we're gonna get those damn Noise Tanks."

Yoyo:

"Those tracks should connect Sky Dinosaurian Square to the edge of the skyscraper district..."

"I hear that Poison Jam's woman leader has been showin' her face in town."

"Man, the Rhinos gotta be pissed off!"

"Shibuya Terminal is in a state of panic. I really wanna stay out of this, but we gotta go over there and take care of business."

"Don't use your eyes. Just try to feel it, ya know?"

"Graffiti has the power to wake up the energy that's asleep in the streets of Tokyo. The Rokkaku Group... the police... they don't know what's up. So let's just cover this whole place in art, yo."

"Yo, you know that dude Hayashi from the Rokkaku police force? That guy is one messed up dude. He's a complete psycho. Watch out for him."

"I heard through the grapevine that some weird-lookin' girl's been hangin' out at Rokkaku-dai Heights."

"So you think Poison Jam is after us?"

"We gotta get the Doganzaka Hill goddess statue that Poison Jam took. We better hurry, or things are gonna get real ugly."

Beat:

"Anything go down while I was gone?"

"I've always thought that thing in Shibuya Terminal was nasty lookin' anyway! Let's do a little redecoration."

"Sometimes, you just gotta get moving or else nothin's gonna get done, yo.

"Hey, I've heard of you. You're one of the GG's, huh? Tell you what... I'll race you. If I can beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, then this place belongs to me. Got it?"

"Hope you won't regret that."

"Shibuya Terminal? Now that you mention it, there was this huge guy wandering around there... And fishy graffiti? That sounds familiar, but I didn't really look close enough to see if the graffiti that the fool was paintin' actually looked like a fish or nothin'."

"Hey. Is it true Poison Jam used to cause trouble in Chuo Street under a different name?"

"Rapid 99 of 99th Street. They don't show their faces in public very often. Some say Rapid 99 and Poison Jam are sworn enemies because something big went down a while back. I don't know the details, though. A friend of mine told me that the girls in Rapid 99 are real lookers. I just think he was too scared of 'em to say otherwise. In any case, it ain't gonna be easy to find 'em."

"You meet Rapid 99 yet?"

"Noise Tanks? Never heard of 'em. But we gotta find Yoyo. I'll go through the sewers and check out Kiboganoka Hill."

"Those Immortals really get on my nerves..."

"Crazy stuff is going down all over town! Looks like it's time for a little clean up... GG's style!"

Combo:

"Time to get serious."

"This kid's kinda funny."

"This time we should be able to tell if it's the real one or the fake Yoyo just by talkin' to him, right?"

"That crazy guy?! What're you talkin' about? He looks nothing like me. Besides, we don't got time to deal with that fool. Remember? The Golden Rhinos??"

"Well, they told us to come. Don't look like we got any choice."

"There are some things that you can only feel when you're out in the streets, you know?"

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. I'm guessin' it was you... Its on! If you loose, you're gonna be answerin' to me from now on, punk!"

"You think you can do this too? Let's see it!"

"Man, you're not all that. Here, I'll show you one more time."

"The deep end of the sewers is closed off because it's contaminated. At least, that's what I heard..."

"Hey, why you gotta go out and get a dog?! There's only one thing I hate more than dogs, and that's goldfish."

"I heard Rapid 99 used to run under a leader named Cube..."

"Thing that ticks me off most is, the Immortals ain't worth all this talk and trouble. I wonder if they got somethin' to do with Yoyo's disappearance?"

"There's a bunch of real big guys with real big attitudes causin' a big scene over on Highway Zero. Maybe they might know something about the Noise Tanks. Man, where the hell is Yoyo?!"

Rynth:

"What is UP with Yoyo, anyway?!"

"Hey, Graffiti Souls are a big commodity, right?"

"I don't care if it's a golden rhino or a blue hippo, I'll send 'em right back to the zoo where they belong."

"What's their master plan? I mean, the Golden Rhinos don't seem like their just out here to run the streets, you know what I'm sayin'?" (This quote was spelled like this in game. From my knowledge it should be "they're just out here...")

"Here comes Gouji. Let's end this."

"Did you get all the Graffiti Souls? We still got a full laundry list of things to take care of, you know."

"Hehehe... So this is your hideout."

"Poison Jam are... kinda cute!"

"Is it just me, or does Captain Hayashi not look like he eats his breakfast?"

Poison Jam:

"I don't think Yoyo's that kind of a person."

"I think hes hiding something."

"This feels like a trap. Be careful."

"Someone's after DJ-K?! You sure about that?!"

"Gouji Rokkaku is kinda interesting. But, I think he went a little too far this time..."

"I love everything about Tokyo... even the things I hate."

"Hur hur hur. You want to get rid of us, don't you? Nothing in life is free. You gotta work for it. Beat us in this race and we won't mess with you anymore."

"Har har har!! I told ya'll you were a bunch of wussies!"

Rapid 99:

"ghahah! Next thing you know, you will be all crying like a baby."

"If you can win a flag battle against us, I'll tell you where Poison Jam' s hideout is."

"Suit yourself."

Garam:

"I won't hold back."

"Hey. Keep it real."

"There's this lightning-quick girl over at Kiboganoka Hill. Dunno if she's still there. But man, I gotta say, I'm really trippin' out over Yoyo missin' and all."

"When it comes down to it, the Immortals are just dried up mummies, man. I bet they all nasty under those bandages."

Boogie:

"The Noise Tanks might look strong, but they're like cheap action figures! Just run into them and they fall apart! Oh yeah, that girl from the stadium... I heard she's been lookin' for us. You seen her yet?"

"Aww man..."

"The fortified residential zone... it's directly attached to the underground sewers. Man. I don't like that place at all."

"Is that dude in black even human? My heart's pounding... I don't know why."

"You're never as good as you can be! Don't slack off!"

"Y'all are crazy!"

Jazz:

"This doesn't look good."

"Alright. Stay cool."

"Yeah.... we were a little too laid back this time, I think."

"The fortified residential zone... hey, why don't we pick numbers to decide who goes?"

"It's about time the Rhinos brought things up a notch. We better be ready to get real serious too."

"What the hell IS that big thing, anyway? But, you better watch out for that fool in black..."

"If you get a "Jet" in the Trials, you can even use people who aren't here to take out into the streets."

"You're one of the GG's, right? Then tell this fool that they got the wrong girl! They think I'm one of you guys! So, they dragged me out here and looked what's happened to me!!"

"Hurry up! Tell him that I'm not a GG!!"

Noise Tanks:

"Hey, you're that GG that helped me out! Thanks for that man. Say... there's something that I've been wondering since then. You wanna find out who's the fastest? I KNOW I can beat you. Let's give it a shot!"

"Alright. Fine. See ya."

"I'll get 'em good no matter what!"

"The more worked up we get about this, the harder it'll be to find what we're lookin' for."

"There's somethin' not right about the way the Golden Rhino's are actin'."

"Why are those Golden Rhinos going after the Radio station? Well, make sure to be on the lookout for Captain Psychopath."

"We gotta save DJ-K! I can't stand listening to this music anymore!"

"If this town could talk, what poetry it would speak..."

"Ready?"

"Practice all you want, it will not make a difference."

"It is not over yet. Prepare yourselves."

"Heh... Go on. Fight!"

"Are you ready?"

Special interactions:

"Sometimes it just doesn't matter how much you practice."

Slate:

"Dude. I'm bored. Entertain me."

"Hmph. What a bore."

"My sources tell me that the Noise Tanks and the Rokkaku Group are in this together. Be careful."

"So is that Clutch guy in with Rokkaku too? Or is he just a little punk?"

"I'm about ready."

"The Golden Rhinos are really startin' to get on my nerves..."

"I got better things to do than play house with Gouji Rokkaku, but man, that big ugly thing has GOT to go."

"Graffiti Souls' sole purpose is to be sought out."

Clutch:

"You're looking for that kid, Yoyo, right? Tell ya what, if you go out and get some Graffiti Soul points... Hey! Wait a sec, you've already got quite a few. Lemme see those... Sucka! Thanks for the Graffiti Souls! See ya around!"

"Hah, hah! I look forward to it!"

"I dunno, but I just don't get what's going on here. Heh..."

"This Gouji Rokkaku dude is pretty funny!"

"Haaaahaha! Tokyo ain't half bad!"

Cube:

"If you can beat me at my own game, I'll leave you alone."

"Suit yourself."

"The fortified residential zone... Unless you're absolutely sure of your skills, you should stay away from that place."

"I've dealt with the Golden Rhinos once before. If you don't take them seriously, you're as good as dead."

"I can't stand even looking at that thing. Its just so... so... damn ugly!"

"Yeah. You just have to try everything with an open mind."

Beat to Corn:

"So you're the leader of the GG's? Heh... How's this sound? If I beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, you and your buddies have to answer to me from now on. If you beat me... well, we'll just see when it happens."

"Huuuh? You're so boooring..."

Talking to Beat in the garage before fighting the police:

"Anyway, I'm ready to rock. But what's up with that pooch, eh? Where did ya pick him up? You sure that's not the leader in disguise? Heh heh. Its only a matter of time before I become the leader of the GG's anyway."

Combo to Gum:

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. Was it you, princess? You've been a bad, bad girl. You've better hit me with everything you've got, 'cause I ain't gonna hold back just because you're a girl!!"

"The cue tone get you all jumpy?"

"You liked that, eh? I'll do it again for you."

Yoyo to Rynth:

"You're... like... you know... yo."

"Where'd you come from?"

Gum to Rynth:

Rynth to Beat:

"Cool. Welcome aboard."

"You kinda... smell weird."

Garam to Boogie:

"Hey. I'm next in command around here, little lady. The name's Garam,"

Combo to Boogie:

"This group is growing bigger every day. Fool just dig me, I guess."

Gum to Boogie:

"So you're the one from Kiboganoka Hill, huh? Well, this is the GG's. What you see is what you get. Just be yourself, you'll be cool."

Garam to Jazz:

"Well, um... I... uh... be cool."

"That freak who's been making all those weird tags... you think he's connected with the Golden Rhinos somehow?"

Boogie to Garam:

"Alright. Stay cool."

Jazz to Garam:

"I feel ya, but I think you should try to chill a bit. Keep it together."

Corn to Clutch:

"What a fool. But the fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

Jazz to Clutch:

"Don't push your luck."

Beat to Clutch:

"You just wanted some attention from us, right? Aww..."

Combo to Clutch:

"Man, you're such a jerk I almost like you."

Garam to Clutch:

"One of these days, I'll get you one-on-one! Just you and me, fool!"

Boogie to Clutch:

"Fine. I'll let you off just this once."

Slate to Clutch:

"Heh... Stay outta trouble."

Corn to Yoyo:

"Long time no see, bro."

Clutch to Yoyo:

"So you're that Yoyo guy, huh? Heh..."

Jazz to Yoyo:

"So, you're the real deal, huh? 'Sup. I'm Jazz."

Combo to Yoyo:

"You gonna go and try to get back into shape, huh?'

Garam to Yoyo:

"Heh... I caused enough havoc for the both of us while you were gone, bro."

Rynth to Yoyo:

"The most unbelievable stuff was happening while you were gone! Hehehe..."

Yoyo to Slate:

"Hey, sorry about all that, yo. My bad. But thanks to those fools, I'm all out of shape now. Maybe I'll go out and cause a little havoc to warm up, yo."

Yoyo to Jazz:

"Man, things have sure gotten busier sice I was last here?"

Gum to Beat:

"That fool dressed in black who's been hanging around Chuo Street... now that I think about it, you guys kinda look alike."

Clutch to Beat:

"In times like this, you won't fall as long as you look where you're going. Heh heh."

Garam to Beat:

"Hey, you know that guy everyone's been saying looks like you? Well, is it you?"

There is some cutscene dialogue missing from these lines. If I can find all the cutscenes, then I'll be sure to add them.

[jackbabewang]

Head over heels

Genre: Another nose bleeding ceo Jae, Fluff, Mature content

Word count: 5,818

Currently, in your mid-20s, studied for a degree in Administrative Assistant at a four-year college and working as a secretary in a major corporation. You have a good salary and excellent benefits, earning enough to rent an apartment of your own, but your workload may be more than you can realistically handle and no matter how motivated you are, it will be beyond the realms of human possibility. 

Working with your superior, Jung Jaehyun, is more like a profession. There is always a sense of moral obligation to do more than the minimum laid down in the job description when the man himself works like a monster. You were prepared for the immense sacrifice as well had you accepted the offer. It was agreed. 

With great reluctance, you have grown one hell of an addiction to caffeine, which is clear when you go without it for even one morning, like today. You feel foggy and crabby. None of the words seems to penetrate beyond your mind of half-conscious blank. The pen that is unfailingly in your hand, starting to draw elaborate doodles on a clean page in the notebook which is largely useless at this point.  

Surprisingly, Jaehyun is not listening to the presenter as well. He has crossed and uncrossed his legs six times, peeked out the window eight times. His fingers plow through his hair, messing up the always-neat style he has probably struggled half the morning to achieve. The generality however appears to be interested in the object of the meeting, behaving orderly and attentive. Their intention is, of course, to impress their boss. However the man is probably scoffing inwardly at their obvious acts. 

He is looking around, when out of the corner of his eye he caught movement. The strain on your face, your lips pressed tightly together, your body slumped almost sliding off the chair, as if your backbone has been pulled out through the top of your head. Amused, he brings his attention to what exactly you are struggling with and he sees your right foot: bared. Stretching on your toes, you try to snag your lone shoe but it is an inch out of your reach. And inside, you curse yourself to lose that annoying habit of swinging your feet. 

He watches a moment more then drops his pen, letting it roll over. He bends and pretends to pick it up, catching you off guard as he picks up your shoe instead and holds it so you can slide your foot into it. You cannot quite comprehend of his gesture, and try not to think about it—even when his hand, lightly touching your ankle in turn, sent coils of heat twirling all the way up your leg and through your whole body. Nothing comparable to this has ever occurred which requires direct bodily contact with your boss, to be exact. You slightly choke on your own saliva, but refuse to look at him in the face, visibly embarrassed. In the meanwhile, Jaehyun glances at you the oftener, thus noticing your reaction of an interesting one. 

Weeks have gone by, you never spoke of the incident, and he never brings up the subject either as though nothing ever happened, despite the tension that is sometimes evident in the way he watches you like he demands a “thank you” after the act and thinking you are a woman so ignorant, unmannered and … immodest. That thought troubles you more than the other, though.

Troubles always, somehow, never come to an end, never reach exhaustion; they are new every morning, one woman in particular is trouble herself—Park Sooyoung, the embodiment of your day-to-day horror. You have to admit, from head to toe, she is more beautiful than any female, including yourself in this workplace. She is gorgeous with a perfect figure and has all the attention of the men here, except for the one enclosed behind glass doors on the 45th floor. Mr. Jung, Jaehyun, is eye-candy extraordinaire. Or ‘sex on a stick’, which you overheard her conversation that day in the pantry.

The employee manual says, “Keep the dating scenes away”, as it is most likely to ruin the workplace or kill your career. She interpreted otherwise, eagerly looking for her dear ones. You do not understand her, her constant attendance at Jaehyun's office with a stack of papers which she claimed as her legitimate reason to meet the CEO. And every damn time, exercising intense self-control, you refrain yourself from laughing seeing her walk out a minute after with her ‘documents’ left untouched, indubitably not a single glance from the man. 

Then you know you might be in trouble when the buzzer system, a companion to the intercom, alerts you with two buzzes to indicate that you are to come into Jaehyun’s office. Knocking twice as a courtesy and you enter after hearing his bid and shutting the door behind. You utter no word, make no sound as you cross the thick carpet. You know the instant you set foot in there is something about the air that gives you a bad feeling. The familiar prickle ripples over your scalp and spreads down your neck and shoulders. You gulp. 

He stops, looks up, then back to the chaos on his desk. “Could’ve stopped her…” Phew!

“Yes, Mr. Jung. I should. Next time.” Your sentence breaks into phrase, phrase separates into words, you speak out like a robot, totally expressionless. 

“No more next time, please.” He has never used the word before, rarely hear it from his lips, which sounds like an exasperating term because it shows the helplessness in him. “And put this away,” he orders, without lifting his head. 

The bittersweet fragrance of coffee curls enticingly around your nose, the porcelain filled and still warm in your hand, whereas he has not even touched the beverage. Sooyoung needs to step up her game if she is ever so determined to get into his pants. Brown is the colour of the milky coffee that Jaehyun absolutely dislikes. He has them dark brew, no milk, no sugar, no creamer. You have tried it once and it tastes bad, it tastes awful as its poisonous-looking black. You switch the flat-out rejected beverage for the one to his liking and not so long after he finished with nothing left in the bottom of the cup. 

He works all day, and you work all day. As the saying goes, “A good boss does not leave until after his last employee does.” But if it is the other way round, does that make you a good employee? Totally. The corporation has an extra busy month with the expansion to take all the business it can get. To demonstrate how busy it is, longer hours of work on the same day has been introduced. Even on a Sunday, you are with your friends having brunch when you receive a call to work where your boss has clearly heard the munching of food and clanking of silverware against China over the line. How sucks it is even when you have not drive today and given ten minutes to be there, you have to pay the additional for cab fare. 

Inside, Jaehyun is leaning over his laptop and typing furiously. His fingers are almost a blur over that keyboard. 

“Sorry, Mr. Jung. I’m—” you glance at your wristwatch, holding the tiny face of it between the fingers of your right hand and squinting, “—six minutes late. I was caught in a traffic jam.” 

“It’s fine. Come sit.” 

You do what he asks. You peek over his shoulder and see a screen full of words, you peer harder at the teeny-tiny letters and it takes a fraction of a second to realize he is doing your portion of work. Almost immediately you interrupt him, almost instantly you regret your harsh manner when he turns to you with eyes filling with confusion before his brows knit themselves together in concern. 

“Move over,” his fingers wrap around your wrists, pulling your hands away from which you have shielded the brightness of the display. 

“No, that’s my work. I should be responsible for it.” 

“I don’t have time for this,” he warns. 

You grumble right back, “Just this one, alright? And I’ll do the rest.” 

“If you’re feeling sorry then stay until I leave.” Oh so easily he is keeping you captive, simply taking advantage of his position because he knows that he can. And of course, you will. 

There is the occasional tap tap on a keyboard, turning of pages, then comes the restlessness where conversations are strained or non-existent. As you let the spin of the swivel chair stops on its own, it yields to face the spectacular turquoise tank behind the ornate desk where Jaehyun is sitting at. There swims a three foot long koi which his father bought for 1.4 million after a fierce bidding war at a fish farm in the city of Hiroshima. The bare tank with no gravel or decorations is built into the wall covered with white marble; its simplicity yet luxurious touching makes it a convincingly beautiful moving portrait. Staring at it for the rest of the afternoon, or a probable evening, is enough to elevate your somber mood. 

“Mr. Jung—”

“Jaehyun,” he corrects. He has previously asked you to dispense with the “mister” treatment when you and him are alone in the office but you cannot drop the formality just because he said so. You have to maintain the dignity of his position and allegedly emphasize an atmosphere of collegiality. 

Suddenly you are eager to initiate a conversation, “I like your fish tank. Salt water?” 

“Fresh actually.” Right there. He is giving you the look again. “It’s a carp.” 

“I know I sounded dumb… You don’t have to make it so obvious…” you mumble under your breath, but he heard you nonetheless.

The sky has sunk nearer to the horizon and everything is deep red. Your Sunday is like an ordinary weekday and ordinary rounds of filing, opening and sorting the mail, verifying facts and assembling data—which you have gotten everything complete by now. However the workaholic’s compulsive ass stay rooted to his leather seat, as if he is growing right into it. Only when you call out to him for food does he excused himself from the havoc on his desk, reluctantly. It fascinates you most of the time how he actually listens to you when it comes to reminding him to drink, to eat, and never not to eat, because he always, always got carried away and forego meals. At some point, you are like his mother for real and feel an obligation to take care of him his health; while it only increases his dependency on you. Pretty sure you can accurately state his likes and dislikes with the certainty that you understand him better than he understands himself. 

Two years of working with Jaehyun, you have never once put your foot in his pantry and you assume he never does too. It fills with the distinctive smell of those new things untouched by humans; pristine white cabinets reach to the floor and ceiling, bisected by a tasteful granite countertop and subway tile backsplash. The warm glow from the overhead lights giving the place a cozy, homey feel (and hiding layers of dust). Rather, you will work in here instead of facing the boring office neutrals 24/7. 

You eyed him as he slurps his bowl of jajangmyeon and chomping down the strands of noodles with his front teeth. He resembles a rabbit eating like that but in all honesty you are hyper aware of the black sauce being splattered on his white shirt. 

Or what he thinks about the food, “Do you like it?” 

He ponders momentarily before answering, “This thing is unhealthy.” 

Well, you are unhealthy for your unhealthy eating habits! 

Jung Jaehyun, born with a silver spoon in his mouth, is made for fine dining and ridiculously expensive food anyway. What will he even see in these cheap Chinese food?

“How about this— Try this—” Fried dumplings dipped into the red sauce of tteokbokki topped with a piece of kimchi. You pick up the salivating fusion with your chopsticks, before you know it, he leans forward and captures the heaping amount in a huge mouthful. It then follows by approving nods and satisfied hums, all the while your mind comes into play. Purposefully, you ignore the jolt of awareness, even though it twists you up like a pretzel. 

“What’s the matter?” he asks. “Do I make you nervous?” 

The hell is he talking about. His speech is all but business-like and you are internally freaking out at this cheeky side of your boss. 

“N-No…”

“I think I make you nervous.” 

“You don’t make me nervous,” you reiterate. Collecting yourself, you pick up overlapping circles of sliced radish and pop them into your mouth only to feel the choking burn of vinegar at the back of your throat. 

“Why do you shy away every time our shoulders brush?” 

“I don’t like being crowded.”

“You didn’t seem to mind so much before.”

“That was different.” 

“What was different?” He wears an open grin of amusement, enjoying every second of your embarrassment. 

As you continue to stuff your face, you glance over at him, and caught him staring at you. You look away for a moment, then look at him again. “What are you looking at?” you ask through gritted teeth. 

“I didn’t mean to,” he says. “It’s just that, I’ve never seen you dressed in casual clothes.” 

You are always in a buttoned-up white blouse, black pencil skirt and matching fitted blazer. “Right, and I get tired of wearing the same thing all the time.” 

While he has always dressed in fine shoes and classy suits, you have never before, indeed, seen him like this either—oversized cotton-poplin shirt and black ankle pants. Though someone else may look like a baggy, slouchy mess in the outfit, he looks like a whole meal. This Jaehyun radiates comfort and soothing kindness that for a minute you have forgotten about him being your boss. 

“Well, you don’t look so bad yourself.” You tell him and he grins in that lopsided way.

Yet a man has his pride. So you add, “Ugly as ever.” The comment itself is certainly a rude way to speak to your boss and instantly you regret it, but he does not seem bothered anyway.

“I may be ugly, but I’m still better looking than you,” for which he retorts quickly. “Say. Why don’t we skip work tomorrow?” 

You blink, taken aback by his idea, but in truth you desperately want to stay home and shed your responsibilities and act as lifeless and unrestrained. “We can’t skip work.”

“C’mon,” he whines, “I know you’re fucking tired of this shit.” 

Though once again taken aback by his unusual words and speech patterns—which you can only assume the filters of polite society is not working when he is overtired—his facial expression implies reference to something else. But why the teasing tone?

Then it hits you. Your Twitter account, where you have been very active the last few weeks, as a platform to express your thoughts and emotions on working tons of overtime. Your rants are so insane that it is as if someone has pixelated your brain. The ungenerous, unladylike words blurted you regret them. 

“You stalked me!” 

“It’s not my fault that your profile is public.” 

“Why would you even search my profile?”

“Just checking out what my employees been up to.” 

He speaks about it so nonchalantly. You almost roared at him.

“There’s a meeting tomorrow morning with Mr. Kee,” you remind.

He groans only at the utterance of the name of the presenter. Recalling what has occurred in the last conference, he resents waking up early to another yawning dullness, however he chuckles at the reminder of the little interaction between you and him. That brings a pleasant recollection and something to look forward to. Under the table, maybe games of tic-tac-toe, dots and boxes, or maybe, just maybe he can play with your fingers. He stares at your hands to savor the lingering and wonder if you know how incredible they are. Hands like that—small and soft-skinned next to his—should be pampered. He can spin a dream of what those hands will feel like on his flesh. 

Suddenly, an overwhelming feeling falls over him as he says, “I’d like to take you to dinner.”

“What?” you ask. 

“Dinner. Food.” A few seconds lapsed, and he says, “It seems that I’ve been eating alone a lot lately, and I’d like some conversation with good food.” 

“I have plans for—”

“You’re not married, are you?” he asks.

“Me? No, I’m not.”

“Engaged?”

“No.”

“Involved?”

“No,” you answer, a little offended.

“Then let’s have dinner.” That’s it? 

“Like… on a date?” Stupid, stupid, stupid, you tell yourself. Dinner. That’s it. You know that you are not supposed to overthink it as a romantic appointment, not with him. Perhaps, he wants to talk about the company’s cash flow in a private setting, or he wants to inquire on the status of recent projects, or he wants to find out which projects are running. Perhaps, deep down, you want to casually talk about everything over good food, as a friend for the least. 

“A real date?”

Date. He likes the sound of it, oh he likes it even more when you are the one clarifying it. 

“There’s such a thing as a fake date?” 

You roll your eyes at him.

“Call it a date then, as you wish.” And you resist scoffing out loud at his cockiness, while there is bursting red upon you the shyness of a young girl. 

Hours elapsed upon return to work, but the ambience is more calm, peaceful and comfortable in the moment. Presumably Jaehyun had quelled his distress with food as he is adorable high-spirited than ever. The once deadly dull office is now filled with music of Cigarette After Sex’s and Frank Ocean’s, such that you poke fun of him being an emotional teen, while you secretly enjoy the songs as well. 

By the time Jaehyun finally shuts down the computer, though the files are left open on his desk, it is already midnight. With a groan, you sink in the fact that you still have to wake up early tomorrow as per usual. 

At the sound of it, Jaehyun turns to you with a raised brow, “What? Don’t want to leave?” 

For a minute, he looked unusually handsome and resplendent, marked by deep-set brown eyes, little indentations in his cheeks. He is teasing and it does not help with how awestricken you already are by the look he gave you. For a second, you stand rooted to the spot with nerves twisting your insides; Jaehyun holding the elevator door open and waiting.

His fake cough brings you sharply back to your senses. “Oh, no— shit— sorry,” a smile pulling at the edges of your mouth with false gaiety. 

The elevator comes to a stop. Later taking larger steps than you usually do and out to the ground floor lobby, there he cocks his head, confused, “Where are you going?” 

“I’m not driving today. I’ll take the bus home. See you tomorrow, Mr. Jung.” You bow and wave in a polite manner but he is quick to stop you from taking more steps away. 

“I’ll give you a ride. Come in.”

“It’s fine. The bus station is not so far away.” 

And just like that the both of you end up arguing at a distance over the way to get yourself home, with him still pressing the ‘open’ button that his finger is most likely indented at this point. 

“Don’t keep me waiting,” his eyes stern as he scolds (but with no harshness in his voice) yet you then are aware of this mistaken outburst of his and so you quickly step inside. His lips curled up in a victorious smirk unnoticeable by you, a clear winner once again.  

Jaehyun drives this maddeningly slow pace when the road is not even under congested conditions at this hour. Inside this four wheels, you seem to get strangely awkward with all the fidgeting of fingers on the seatbelt despite being on the same ride for multiple times. But those times were with his private chauffeur as well. Have you talk about the Jung Jaehyun drives one-handed? Because that is freaking hot. Spicy. 

Things take off another note—when the next morning you arrive with a cup of hot, steaming coffee and your favourite cinnamon sugar donuts on your desk. Judging that you appear to be showing up behind schedule for sleeping in—the reason being so, it is better not to be reminded of. You run a list of names in your head to figure out who that ‘secret angel’ could be. Aside from your only friend in the workplace, Chaeyong, who received maternity leave a few months ago. You hardly associate with the rest of the employees due to your position that you only need to deal with one person. And that only person seems to have been watching you the second you walk in, however, there he is sitting in his office, eyes trained on the documents from the night before. 

It is of infrequent occasions he has the shades rolled up. 

The said meeting with Mr. Kee goes by smoothly with the respective project itself taking form now and the next thing you know—you are sitting at a table of two in a fancy Italian restaurant located within the affluent area of central Seoul. You are still unable to stir the reality that the ‘date’ is actually happening, judging that Jaehyun could have or should have brushed it off when both are time-poor during the day. Here you have him twirling a glass of red liquid by its stem mindlessly and show no signs of initiating a conversation. It is frustrating at first, but you think that there is a need to make the most of the night when you could have been eating cheeseburger and greasy food back at your little chamber. 

Unfortunately, what should have been a long-winded conversation dies down fast with Jaehyun answering questions by questions in straightforward and short factual answers instead of throwing the ball back to you in effort of prolonging. You bet your entire fortune that Jaehyun is a mo-ssol (one who has never dated since birth), judging the way he speaks in a manner so expressionless like a piece of log, so stubborn. All those meetings or business events do him no good.

Sigh. You have to do everything yourself around here. 

It almost takes you off guard when he asks, “So… tell me about yourself.” You definitely knows him very well but it was never the other way round. Your heart beats with odd little jerks at the thought of his possible interest in you. Now, you do not want to give yourself a false hope of it being a romantic interest otherwise. 

To make things easier, you suggest on the game of “I Like”, to which he shrugs and says, “Okay.” 

You begin, “I like… visiting zoos, scented candles and everything chocolate.” 

“That’s odd.” 

A weird combination indeed but, “That’s how the game goes!” 

“Well… I like…” he ponders for such a long time, as if mulling over the merit of finally revealing the side of him that you never knew of, nonetheless, “I like… turntable, pistachio ice-cream and Batman.” 

Your chuckle comes in response at his last item, “Batman, really?” 

“Hey, never judge someone’s favourite superhero!” 

“Whatever,” you mumble a, “Superman is way better,” under your breath to which he catches on immediately and a childish bickering breaks out from then on who is the best superhero. 

After paying the bill and a bit of you whining, “I don’t want to go home… It’s cold, dark and lonely, and cold…” after wine after wine intake. Jaehyun takes you back to his place and things escalated from there. You kick off your heels attempting to slide across the marble floor in bare feet, stumbling forward you slam him against the wall while still holding on to him. 

Though genuinely surprised, he cannot ignore your eyes like cataracts producing the hazy look, blush tingeing your cheeks from too much alcohol and every inch nearer you get he finds himself having trouble refusing your anything. Letting your index finger, delicate, almost like a feather, trace the arch of his eyebrows to the tip of his nose and along his pouty lips. 

“N-no… We can’t do this…” he groans in protest, holding onto a dangerous slippery rope that is ‘lust’. He finds it completely wrong to take advantage of you in this drunken state, but you seem to not care at all as you slide closer to him stepping on his sock clad feet. Your narrow rib cage with the pillowy softness of your bosom pressing against his chest, so alluring with your breath mingles with his own—that is his last straw. 

He inches a hand downward and wraps itself around your waist as he gathers you close capturing your mouth with his in a dance of sorts, tasting with tender, tantalizing nips and slow strokes of his tongue. Feeling—yes—the excitement of his racing heart and the ragged edge of his breathing. You are so generous, so giving, so primally female. He has never done this before, but his body reacts, it is taut and hard and humming with impatience. 

You ease his suit jacket off his shoulders and it drops on the floor behind him. Then he twists around, shuffling to his room until he falls backwards when his foot hit the edge of the gargantuan bed. Straddling atop him, you curl your hands into his pristine shirtfront and surrender to the consuming heat of his kiss. In semi-consciousness, your fingers flick open the buttons. He weaves his fingers into your silky hair as you continue to undress him. He spins your bodies around again, this time having his hips nestle their way between your thighs. 

You want to touch him. You want him to touch you—all over—but all he does is touch you with his mouth and feed you kisses while devouring your good sense. He growls low in his throat as he abandons your mouth to drag his lips along your jaw. He licks at the delicate skin of your throat and closes his teeth on the tendon joining your neck and shoulder, sending sensation shooting through your body like a hot bolt of lightning. You shudder, half expecting your head to explode. 

“Jaehyun… it tickles,” turning into a giggling mess when he slides his lips over your neck, kissing from the front to the sides to the back. He chuckles boyishly all the way and those giggles turn into breathy sighs, gasps when he lingers on the tender skin behind your ear. You moan, moving restlessly against him and nearly combust when the long, thick ridge of his arousal presses against you. Right where a painful, empty ache blossoms. 

Every stitch of clothing removed and your entire body gives a single shiver as he enters with perfect precision, penetrating slowly all the way inside. He is so tender, so gentle with each thrust, making you cry out in blinding ecstasy and only crave him more. He revels in the new sensations of you enclosed around him so tightly, and how good your bare skin feels against his. It is a level of heaven he has never known existed. 

“Oh God, you feel so good,” he curses under his breath, closing his eyes as he savors each moment rising towards his own orgasm, “Want to come inside you, is that okay? Can I?” 

You cannot even form an answer properly with your mind fuzzy with absolute pleasure that adds to your intoxication, giving him a weak nod and clenching around him so he is moaning your name loudly. As you both reach the edge and shatter, you hold onto each other and squeezing whatever is there to reach out. Breathing deeper and faster, hearts pounding in your chests, laying there limbs tangled for quite some time. 

Your internal clock wakes you up at eleven and you glance around trying to assimilate something of your surroundings. Your eyes, squinting in the sunlight that dance through the large windows. Your body, dressing in a pair of silk pajamas that is of luxuriousness you will never possess. Immediately, you head in the direction of what you assume is the bathroom. And your reflection, astonishingly clean and tidied up of the makeup from the night before besides the remnants of waterproof mascara and some semi-permanent “stains” on your skin. 

Jaehyun looks to you popping out from behind the wall like a thief, his eyes falling to the shirt you are wearing and the corners of his lips twitch upward at the sight. You have not acknowledged his presence yet as you continue marvelling at the large apartment until you hear a soft chuckle from a distance. You shriek, there sits your superior at the dining table with a tablet propped up in a case. 

“W-we’re… late for work,” you blurt out awkwardly, glancing at the clock on the wall. 

There is a short pause before he speaks, “Well, good morning?” and tells you that he has called in to say that you are both away on a business trip. Skipping the fact that you are walking funnily. 

The tips of his ears a cute shade of pink and it hits you, “D-did we…?” Such a stupid question when your neck and chest all over have hickies that match the big one on his clavicle. Boy, were you wild last night. He only answers with fake coughs and avoids looking directly at you.

Your eyes squeeze shut with a heavy sigh upon an internal breakdown. How are you supposed to maintain a great performance at work when the embodiment of your disaster is only a few feet away. Things will never be the same. Heck, it was never the same since the incident from a month ago. 

“Please tell me I didn’t do anything stupid…” if sleeping with your boss is not dumb enough. You just have to be reminded about it over and over again. Is there any way you can shut down your brain or even better, trade it with someone else?

“...besides dragging me around by my necktie,” he mumbles, the shade of his ears intensifies and spreading to the column of his neck. Anyways, “Are you hungry?” 

You are about to reject and scram off to your apartment just to hide this enormous feeling of embarrassment you are suffering at the moment but heaven does not help you. Your belly rumbles in hunger and he is instructing you to take a seat. 

The smell of lightly burnt toast with a side of eggs and delicious bacon as well as the aroma of caramel coffee makes your mouth water. Though it is just a combination of simple brunch menu, he manages to get the job done perfectly and you are inhaling the food with a childish grin. The humiliation from before has whisked off and thrown to the back of your mind, replacing with the appreciation of having someone to fill you up instead. Wait— that sounds wrong. You choke on food and on the air itself at such polluted thought. 

“Are you okay?” he rushes to your side giving gentle pats on your back. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, just—” you find yourself going red again when you see that maroon mark on his skin. 

His hand finds purchase on your head, stroking endearingly, “Don’t get all shy with me now. You’re practically all over me last night.” 

Right when you are getting mushy from the affection, he has to add that so you remove his hand and sigh heavily, “Mr. Jung—” his brows furrow at the formal address, “Maybe we should just forget about the whole thing—”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” he interrupts, “I’ve seen the way you look at me and you should’ve known better. I would’ve transferred you to another department if I were so against it but I kept you by my side, didn’t I? You knew that I could hardly work with anyone else, I am stubborn at times and couldn’t even take care of myself, but the fact that you are always there when I need you… You understand me more than myself and you’re…” he heaves a sigh of overwhelming relief for finally getting off these words from his chest, “You’re just amazing…” There are sparkles in his eyes with the utmost sincerity. 

Oh my Lord, is this a confession? Is it? This is a confession!

“So… you took me on a date to fuck me?” Your mind chooses to betray you at the very moment, being equally submerged by the revelation. 

“I’ve never said that.” Bending, he leans closer, “But we had a great time. True?” and kisses your lips you stiffen unprepared. Seeing that you did not answer, he adds, “I don’t mind going for another. If you’re down for it too.” 

Things do change afterwards. The atmosphere of that particular 45th floor of the office building has now blossomed with bubbles of pink. Jaehyun has the shades rolled up ever since and sometimes sending you flirty gazes. It is surely distracting but you do the same and never fail to grasp the chance just staring at him in awe and thinking, “Oh, this handsome man is mine!” The oftener he catches you watching and the intercom goes, “Missy, get back to work.” 

Even so, Sooyoung still pay her regular visits. As she finally leaves his office, you are called over immediately and the first things you say, “What does she want this time?” not realizing your tone of speech. 

He grins, victorious, “Were you jealous all this while?” 

With a scoff, “Jealous my butt.” 

“Had I known…”

“What?” What are you gonna do? I dare you!

“I would’ve kept her in longer,” he says nonchalantly, though you are fuming with his ridiculousness (knowing that he is only teasing). But still!

He is quick to catch your wrist when you turn to leave, and tucks you in the warmth of his embrace. Your nose filled with the scent of him. His cologne makes you think of green, grassy meadows covered with yellow flowers. So fucking good.

“Mr. Jung, it’s against the rules— Keep the dating scenes away,” you warn in a stern voice, feigning annoyance from his previous remark. 

He leans closer instead and invades your space, capturing your mouth in a scorching kiss like he has been holding himself back for hours.

“My rules, my way.” 

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2021 | Part II

For anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal. I think the first one was 2011? Maybe? In which case, woohoo, ten years of scrapbooking!

It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.

A reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read 80 books (as of today, i am at 31 books, which sounds not great but goodreads assures me that it’s only 1 book behind schedule), finish five video games (at two at the moment... mostly because I keep dragging my feet on actually finishing P5R), write more than 20 fics (at... 6) or something larger than 20k (negative), and write either an original short story or start a novel (i have started plotting for the novel? does that count?)

Past Years

MOVIES

May

Mortal Kombat

(SW: The Phantom Menace)

(SW: Attack of the Clones)

(SW: Revenge of the Sith)

(SW: Rogue One)

(SW: A New Hope)

SW: Clone Wars

Enola

Wonder Woman 1984

Dark Phoenix

(Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring)

June

(Princess Mononoke)

Sailor Moon: Eternal

In The Heights

Wish Dragon

July

Luca

(Thor: Ragnarok)

(Doctor Strange)

(Guardians of the Galaxy)

Black Widow

Space Jam 2 Electric Boogaloo

August

The Green Knight

Godzilla vs Kong

(Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

BOOKS

May

These Violent Delights | Chloe Gong [Fin]

The Midnight Library | Matt Haig [Fin]

The Galaxy, and the Ground Within | Becky Chambers [Fin]

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott

People We Meet On Vacation | Emily Henry [Fin]

The Soulmate Equation | Christina Lauren [Fin]

June

Unconquerable Sun | Kate Elliott [Fin]

September Love | Lang Leav [Fin]

One Last Stop | Casey McQuiston [Fin]

The Chosen and the Beautiful | Nghi Vo [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 2 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

For the Wolf | Hannah Whitten [Fin]

The Sandman | Neil Gaiman [Fin]

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater

July

Mister Impossible | Maggie Stiefvater [Fin]

TAZ: The Crystal Kingdom | The Mcelroys [Fin]

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav

August

She Who Became the Sun | Shelley Parker-Chan [Fin]

A Psalm for the Wild-Built | Becky Chambers

The Universe of Us | Lang Leav [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 3 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

Lumberjanes, volume 4 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

PODCASTS

May

The Penumbra Podcast, s3-END

June

The Magnus Archive - Fear Winners 1 & 2

July

Gods of Appalachia, Eps 1-6

(Wolf 359)

Janus Descending

August

(Wolf 359)

Mabel

(Zero Hours, ep 7)

Time:Bombs

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

May

Watcher Entertainment, Are You Scared?

Castlevania, s3, s4 [Fin]

Word of Honor [Fin]

Buzzfeed: Kelsey in Control?

Demon Slayer, s1

June

Demon Slayer, s1 [Fin]

Kim’s Convenience, s4

Leverage, s5 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3

Loki, s1

Lucifer, s2, s3, s4

Trese, s1

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime, s3, s6?)

(Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural, s1)

Sweet Tooth, s1

Love, Death & Robots

July

Loki, s1 [Fin]

Watcher: Too Many Spirits, s3 [Fin]

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Shark Week

Lucifer, s5

Masters of the Universe: Revelation

August

The Owl House, s2

Watcher: Dish Granted, s3

Watcher Weekly+

Buzzfeed: Ruining History

Star Trek Discovery, s1, s2, s3

What If..., s1

VIDEO GAMES

May

Monster Hunter Rise, 12 hours

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, 25 hours

Pokemon Go

June

Mass Effect 1: Legendary Edition, ? hours

Pokemon Go

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, ??? Hours

Persona 5 Royal, ??? hours

July

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

August

Persona 5 Royal, 167 hours

Pokemon Go

Ori and the Blind Forest [Fin]

DELIGHTFUL FIC

May

The word is help. by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 9k | In a flash, Fett has his blaster out and pointed at Luke’s head. “You’re right,” he says. “Turnabout’s fair play. So maybe I oughta shoot you.”

Don’t be afraid. by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 12k | “Padawan Kenobi,” Yoda says, after a moment. “Complete your training, Master Skywalker will.”

who carried the hill by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 22k | Din’s about to head up the ramp onto the newly-repaired Razor Crest when a string pulls taut around his heart and yanks him into the sky.

Tapestry by spqr | Star Wars | Obi-Wan/Anakin | 8k | In March, Obi-Wan drags Anakin to another faculty party, where Anakin gets all sorts of wrong ideas about Quinlan Vos and decides to fellate Obi-Wan in a coat closet about it.

wonderterror by peradi | Star Wars | Leia/Han/Luke | 6k | Anakin Skywalker is the son of the Force.He’s half human and half something monumental.What does that make his children?

Xen Gardens by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan & Shane | 1k | Shane Madej saves the day.A strange man comes to congratulate him.

A Series of Better Decisions by SassySnowperson | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 9k | "Kill him. Kill him now!" Chancellor Palpatine hissed, as Anakin held the two blades against Dooku's neck. "No," Anakin said. "It's not the Jedi way."

Futurus (-a -um) by cadesama | Star Wars | Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan | 60k | Cracked hyperdrive? No problem. Just hold it together with the Force. Time travel? Well. That could be a bigger problem.

Comfort in Wartime by Rosbridge | Star Wars | Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin | 4k | Obi-Wan is exhausted, drunk, and just about out of fucks to give.

spark me up, i'm a firework (i'll burst into light) by coffeeinallcaps | FATWS | Bucky/Sam | 7k | "You know how the super-soldier serum makes everything, well, super? I guess you could say that's what happened to my sex drive."

Thaw by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 6k | That’s what hope does to you, Luke remembers now. It lingers at the back of your mind, whispering maybe, maybe, so that knowing a plan is stupid isn’t enough to keep you from trying it.

Christ in Repose by spqr | Din/Luke | 8k | More on this story as it develops. Subscribe to HNN’s JEDI WATCH newsletter for instant updates on Jedi sightings throughout the galaxy.

Insufferable by perkynurples | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Wen Kexing asks a question. Zhou Zishu only hesitates to answer for a little while.

parasitic, parasocial by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 45k | Xue Yang stumbles upon the channel of Fuxue, a popular videogame streamer, and immediately becomes completely and utterly obsessed with him. Unfortunately, Fuxue has a boyfriend -- but that's fine: Xue Yang loves a challenge.

Aaron Burr has Hamilton's RSI and he isn't pleased about it. by DragonBandit | Hamilton | Hamilton/Aaron Burr | 3k | Aaron knows 2 things about his soulmate: The first is that they're angry about everything. The second is that they need to fucking sleep.

dinluke lawyer au by spqr | Star Wars | Din/Luke | 31k | At 1:18 a.m., just when Luke is starting to think he might’ve gotten away with something, Biggs Darklighter shows up on the other side of his desk and says, “I can’t believe you called in sick to get shotgun married to a Mando.”

like, comment, subscribe by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | Lord of the Rings | Gimli/Legolas | 90k+ | Legolas meets Gimli for lunch - unfortunately, he meets someone else, too.

a jackal; a thief by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Ye Baiyi | 11k | This is not the first time Wen Kexing’s body has been poisoned like this.

you're the trouble that i always find by sundiscus | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 27k | “Do you know him?” Jin Wang asks.The ringing in Zhou Zishu's ears gets louder. “No, Wangye,” he says.At Zhou Zishu’s voice, the prisoner freezes.

vampire!wwx threadfic by sundiscus | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | ??? words | in which vampires exist in a modern cultivation au, lwj is investigating a string of strange deaths, and wwx is a vampire he can’t seem to kill.

Velle by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy | LotR | Gimli/Legolas | 29k | Velle (Latin): to want.

June

May All My Wounds Be Mortal by hansbekhart | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 10k | Peeled out of his many robes, Wen Kexing’s body reveals itself to be mostly leg. He strips eagerly, grinning up at Zhou Zishu as if this is another joke between them. See? Wen Kexing’s body seems to say, I have no secrets from you.

drop by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 4k |  Xue Yang has had this dream before.

Splenda by Tierfal | FMA | Ed/Roy | 19k | WIP | A sugar daddy AU that barely even qualifies as a sugar daddy AU, because these two can't do anything right.

From the Ashes by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Shane/Ryan | 3k | “This doesn’t need to leave this room,” Ryan had said that first time. “Casual is my middle name.”

Whale Songs by denimwrapped | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 2k | It could be humming, he thinks. Some distant angelic humming. What it’s humming about, he’d have to find out the hard way. All he can hear in his mind’s ear is come closer. There’s so much more in the depths than you’ve ever known.

A Good Bargain by Neery | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 11k | The Window of Heaven captures the Ghost Valley's master. Zhou Zishu is put in charge of interrogating him.

So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 13k | Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.

the agony and the irony by arostine | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 44k | WIP |  Ryan has a lot on his plate right now. He’s one of three members of his species employed at BuzzFeed, and the only male omega, and his boss keeps asking him to do videos about being an iterant ‘to educate the humans,’ when what he really wants to do is videos about ghosts.

the rest of your life by bestliars | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 30k | MYSTERY DISAPPEARANCE IN THE MIDWEST! The year is 2034. Successful video producer Ryan Bergara uproots his whole life to take care of his friend’s children.

sit in my circle and hold my hand by soda_coded | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 14k | Ryan and Shane work for the metaphysical department of the LAPD, fool around and get cursed.

Idle Hands (Do the Devil's Work) by ma_malice | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 4k | In which the only upside to being a demon stuck in a seasonal Chicago snowstorm is the ability to abandon your body and possess your boyfriend in LA.

Shell Game by Giddygeek | The Magicians | Quentin/Eliot | 20k | Or, Quentin can’t believe he never thought to ask if there was a magical time in Fillory when people swapped bodies with the last person they slept with.

Contention by hollybennett123 | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu/Ye Baiyi | 3k |  The Zhou Zishu of ten minutes ago, who first agreed to the whole thing — the evening’s conversation and general bickering over drinks taking an unexpectedly filthy turn — had been thinking only about the imminent pounding on offer and not, well, everything else that might come with it.

Necrocafé by etothey | Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon/Harrow | 2k | Harrowhark Nonagesimus isn't sure which confounds her more: the new boxes of bones she is to animate, or the hot redheaded courier who brings the boxes.

simple man by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius, Loki/Loki | 6k | “Tell you what,” says Mobius, shortly after the Timekeepers have sentenced Loki to death, “why don’t I take care of this?”

(Un)disclosed desires by Springandastorm | Loki | Loki/Mobius | "That's not how I see you at all, Loki." Mobius said, unexpectedly earnest. "We all play roles sometimes." 

sources of light by brawlite | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 3k | Zhou Zishu makes a difficult choice in order to save Wen Kexing's life. The morning after is not an easy one.

warm company, cold nights by janonny | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu | 23k | He gave Zhou Zishu a lingering look from beneath his lashes. “Your virtuous wife will accompany you of course.”

July

the potential of broken things by icarusinflight | Harry Potter | Drarry | 11k | "Can you feel that? Some things want to be what they once were. The original spell is still there, and it wants to work again. All it takes is a little push and then"—Draco clicks his fingers of his free hand—"snap, everything will go back into place."

little beast by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 7k | Payback's a bitch.

you, undeniable you by returnsandreturns | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Jake/Amy | 1k | “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Jake asks, for the fourth time. “Because we can just ditch that thing, toss it out a window, do it missionary like the founding fathers intended.”

Car Talk by drunkbedelia | Loki | Mobius/Loki | 1k | ‘When I pruned myself, I thought I might be able to find Loki,' Sylvie said.

one too many by sarcasticfishes | Watcher | Ryan/Shane | 1k | “Stay here,” Ryan says, just casual enough, “I’ll drive you home tomorrow.”

Tencent and Chill by quoth_the_ravenclaw | The Untamed | Nie Huaisang/Nie Mingjue | 2k | “Da-ge,” Huaisang whines, all for show, as much a performance as the actors on screen. He wiggles his toes. “My feet are so sore, you worked me too hard.”

The House at the End of the World by Hopetohell | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1k | What will they do, now that they can do anything?

moderate the middle by ElisAttack | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 9k | People only smiled with their eyes when it was real. Unless they were a Loki. No matter the differences between the variants, their tricky grins were a constant as much as they were indiscernible.

Lost and Sound by snack_size | Loki | Loki/Thor/Sylvie | 5k | “Sylvie, did you help my brother defeat the Time Police?”

push the button (and let me know) by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | “How about this?” hands folded on the table, he watches Loki intently. “If you tell me why, I’ll answer.” 

We're (not) all villains here by sir_not_appearing_in_this_archive | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 19k | WIP | Alone and friendless (once again), Loki has to find a way to set things right, or at least right enough he can comfortably sneak off into the sunset, which starts with one thing: saving Mobius's lost memories.

what remains by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | “You’re no analyst.” Mobius sounds stunned. They are not aligned, they are not in tandem. But there are wistful glimmers of what is now agonisingly out of reach.

worth a shot by thereyoflight | Loki | Loki/Sylvie | 2k | When Loki and Sylvie are moments away from being cornered on the train in Lamentis, they resort to desperate measures.

Bug Problems by xorabbit | Marvel | Grandmaster/Loki | 7k |  Loki ends up on Sakaar, of course, with just that many more schemes to scheme. However, the Grandmaster is not altogether too terrible--a bit of fine luck, for once--and perhaps it's all right to have a better-natured fling while one works out what's next.

our way, no takebacks by dinosuns | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 20k | "Nice speech," Sylvie drawls, but the sarcasm doesn't land.

August

Vennen min by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 12k | The day they let Mobius out of the infirmary, Loki gets assigned to a new handler. This, Mobius is pretty sure, is where the trouble starts.

new terms by dinosuns | Loki | President Loki/Mobius | 21k | For the first time in his life, Loki triumphs. How fitting then, for the end to swiftly barge in unannounced.

Icarus by Waako | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 5k | When Mobius got pruned, he expected two different outcomes. Either eternal peace or eternal emptiness. He certainly didn’t expect a grey sky, ruins of old buildings looming over him, and a Loki variant watching him like he was a piece of fresh meat.

Stress Relief by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 3.5k |  “Let me read you something,” Loki says. He rifles through the pages, clears his throat, and Mobius puts a hand over his eyes because he knows what’s coming before Loki even reads the first word—“Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō—“

just like the weather by sarcasticfishes | BFU | Shane/Ryan/Sara | 6k | “Y’know,” Ryan shrugs. “Friends have kids together sometimes. Like if a same-sex couple has a friend surrogate for them. Or sometimes people just co-parent.”

Woodash and iron and leather by iffervescent | The Witcher | 9k | Jaskier is the only person Geralt's ever been around who doesn't smell of fear

Food of Love by tanktrilby | The Witcher | Geralt/Jaskier | 22k | I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

If The Morning Light Sets In by nagia | Castlevania | Sypha/Trevor/Alucard | 45k | Save the Belmonts, save the world.

halfway by ivelostmyspectacles | Castlevania | Sypha/Alucard/Trevor | 12k | Vampire attacks are happening again. Unprovoked, strange, humans and vampires dying alike. A disease. Alucard assures them that he isn't susceptible.

lonely lonely heart by spqr | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 7k |  Mobius looks down at the paperwork, gets a sort of flustered farmboy look on his face, looks back up at Loki and says, “You offered to give a cop fellatio in the middle of Central Park.”

Bedrest by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen& Xue Yang | 3k | Xiao Xingchen's newest patient is causing him problems. He just won't stay put.

too little, too late. by raisesomehale | Miraculous Ladybug | Adrien/Marinette | 6k | WIP |  “Ladybug.” Chat’s voice cuts in like molten steel.

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

May

Jesper Fahey | 99 Problems

Jesper Fahey | OLD TOWN ROAD

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

human | kaz brekker

bucky barnes || humble

The Mandalorian || Warriors

The Mandalorian | I'll See You Again

Hope is the light.

►Zhou Zishu & Wen Kexing | Beautiful mess

Kaz & Inej | I Can't Pretend

versailles at night | alina & the darkling

look what you made me do | the darkling

Bucky Barnes | Rasputin

Obi-Wan || dirty work

Blood in the water [the Witcher]

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

Enola Holmes || Unstoppable

Shadow & Bone || Fire Meets Fate

Mo Dao Zu Shi Season 3 AMV/Trailer - Teeth

Kylo Ren | STAR WARS

June

MARVEL || Rasputin

MARVEL || Astronaut in the Ocean

i dont enjoy hurting people | Loki [1x01]

loki laufeyson • unsteady [⚠ 1x01]

MARVEL || Levitating

Shadow & Bone | Paint It Black

Glitter & Gold | Jesper Fahey

Shadow and Bone | Levitating

wen kexing ✘ zhou zishu | put your lips on mine

Erik Lensherr - Magneto

The Crows || Circus

The Crows | Thrift Shop (Shadow & Bone)

Zemo & Bucky — RASPUTIN [tfatws]

Cruella | Feeling good

Percy Jackson || Watch Me

THE KILLING KIND || The Magnus Archives Animatic

LOKI || Glorious Purpose

The Darkling | Black Heretic

Sam x Bucky || Handclap [HUMOR]

Loki || Lovely

Doctor Strange || Dystopia

Loki & Sylvie || I’m not your friend

Loki || Hate Me

MARVEL || River

Loki & Bucky || Paint It Black

Wanda Maximoff || The Scarlet Witch (WandaVision)

Play With Fire || MARVEL || Loki Doctor Strange Scarlet Witch

MARVEL || Warriors

Loki || God of Mischief || You Do You

(Marvel) Loki | You Will Never Be A God

Marvel's Horror Cinematic Universe

community gardens || the magnus archives PMV

July

Thor || Rise

Loki & Sylvie - Demons in my head [ep.3]

//HUMANS// THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Loki | Lost

A Quiet Place

Loki & Sylvie || Strange Birds

Loki & Sylvie "I won't let you down" | (+1x05)

♚ Loki & Sylvie | If You Love Me (1x04)

Loki & Sylvie | If our love is wrong [Loki +1x04]

Loki and Mobius | Hold On [Loki +1x05]

loki laufeyson • in the end [+ 1x04]

Loki and Sylvie || Feeling Good

Marvel || Black Widow - Counting Stars || Natasha Romanoff 

Cruella || Little Wicked

MARVEL || This is My Time || Shang-Chi Trailer Music

Sylvie | Unstoppable (Loki +1x03)

Loki and Sylvie (Lady Loki) || Play With Fire

Wanda and Vision || Dancing With Your Ghost

Wanda Maximoff and Loki || You Should See Me In A Crown

Loki and his Variants ⚔ King of Space [ep.5]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ This world is slowing down [ep.5]

Sylvie || Confident (+1x04)

•Loki x Sylvie ⱠΞⴼ King and Queens•

Loki - In The End | Marvel

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Out of Control [ep.4]

Loki & Mobius | Dynasty [LOKI/+1x04]

Loki & Sylvie ❤ Love War [ep.6]

(Marvel) Loki | Glorious Purpose

(MARVEL) Loki | Chaos

Loki | In The End [+1X06]

Loki x Sylvie | Another Love

Loki & Sylvie | Arcade [ Loki +1x06]

MARVEL || The Assembled Universe (c/w ASTrix UI)

August

Natasha & Yelena || Do It Like A Dude

Black Widow || Smells Like Teen Spirit

MARVEL || Uptown Funk

MARVEL || 1 in a Million

MARVEL/DC || Dies Irae

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness TRAILER #1

MARVEL || Loki 

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

May

The Wild One - Suzi Quatro

What’s So Funny ‘Bout - Sharon Van Etten

Levitating - Dua Lipa

The Underground - Meg Myers

You Won’t Find Me - Narrow Skies

Elixir of Life - Leah

Salt and the Sea - The Lumineers

ERROR - Niki, Kradness

Runaway - AURORA

Butterfly Water - Pastelle

Close to the Sun - Porcelain Pill

Selkie-boy - The Lost Words

Good Riddance - Annapantsu

Die Anywhere Else - Julia Henderson

Heat Waves - Glass Animals

Down - St Vincent

Word of Honor OST

Welcome to the Pleasuredome - Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Shy Away - Twenty One Pilots

Follow You - Imagine Dragons

I’m Not That Girl - Kerry Ellis

Meant to be Yours - Ryan McCartan

Ex Wives - Six

Euphoria - BTS

Walls - Cher

96,000 - In the Heights

Sun Goes Down - Lil Nas X

Enough For You - Olivia Rodrigo

Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

Ziti E Buoni - Maneskin

Shum - Go_A

Loco Loco - Hurricane

Space Ghost Coast to Coast - Glass Animals

The Horror and the Wild (whole album - The Amazing Devil

Chant - Hadestown

Titans - Major Lazer, Sia

Bones - Galantis

Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Le Nozze di Figaro - Hybrid

Save Your Tears - The Weeknd

Psycho - Post Malone

Gold Lion - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Close to Me - Ellie Goulding

And So It Went - The Pretty Reckless

help herself - bbno$

Fire For You - Cannons

Twist the Knife - Chromatics

He Said She Said - Chvrches

Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Campus - Vampire Weekend

Your Power - Billie Eilish

Reach - Eternal Eclipse

1 Last Cigarette - The Band Camino

Insertion - Hans Zimmer

from the edge - fictionjunction

The Devil Is a Gentleman - Merci Raines

Meet Me In The Woods - Amarante

Fire - Saint Mesa

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

Appetite - Casey Edwards

All Things Devour - aeseaes

Throne - Saint Mesa

Witchcraft - Vian Izak

June

The Shrine / An Argument - Fleet Foxes

It’s Tricky - Run

Darjeeling - Barrie

Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings - Father John Misty

Picture Me Better - Weyes Blood

Loch Lomond - Mackenzi Tolk

Punta - Matzzy

Touch It Clean - DJ Raulito

Oh No - Kreepa

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - Marina

Sofia - Askjell

The Boy - Shannon & the Clams

First Steps - Lena Raine

The Power of Balance Rearranged - Rush Garcia

And So My Heart Became a Void - Ursine Vulpine

Paper Mache - Iris Lune

Catch Me If You Can - Desert Belle

Darkroom Double - Moon & Pollution

Serotonin - girl in red

In the Air Tonight - Natalie Taylor

When Your Heart Is a Stranger - Friends In Paris

Moon Effect - Sailor Moon Eternal OST

In A Black Out - Hamilton Leithauser

Forever - CHVRCHES

Way Less Sad - AJR

Helter Skelter - Detention

The Devil You Know - X Ambassadors

TVA - Natalie Holt

Honeybee-The Head and the Heart

Home All Summer - Anthony Ramos

In the Shadows - Amy Stroup

My Way - Lucifer Cast

In the Air Tonight - Jon Howard

The Beast - Old Caltone

The Beast - Delta Rae

Freak Like Me - Adina Howard

Only the Good Die Young - Billy Joel

Winds of Change - Scorpions

good 4 u - Olivia Rodrigo

If I Could See The World - Patsy Cline

Ends of the Earth - Lord Huron 

The Killing Kind - Marianas Trench

Bones - Wens

Kiss Me More - Doja Cat

How Not to Drown - CHVRCHES

July

Dark Moon - Bonnie Guitar

Free Smiles - Tia Ray

Sundown Blues - Joanna Levine

Citta Vuoto - Mina

If You Love Me - Brenda Lee

Very Full - Tom Hiddleston

Loki Green Theme - Natalie Holt

Wrecked - Imagine Dragons

The Wolves - Cyrus Reynolds

Cure For Me - Aurora

Theory of Light - Eternal Eclipse

Fate of the Clockmaker - Eternal Eclipse

Potential Breakup Son - Aly and AJ

transparent soul - travis barker

My Love Will Never DSie - AG, Claire Wyndham

Happy Together - King Princess

Atomise - Temple

Darkside - Oshins

Someone to Watch Over Me - Lucifer Cast

This is Ours - Peter Sivo

Love and War - Fleurie

Take Me To Church - MILCK

Devil I Know - Allie X

East of Eden - Zella Day

Shadow Preachers - Zella Day

Losing My Religion - BELLSAINT

Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley

Dark Side - Blind Channel

Tanz Mit Mir - Faun

My Jolly Sailor Bold - Ashley Serena

Stuttering - Fefe Dobson

August

Monsters and Fairies - Savannah

Chosen - SVRCINA

IAN HA 3BYK - GO A

Freya - Verdandi

Sick on Seventh Strett - Sarah and the Safe Word

Tarah - Sae Sae Norris

Suspicion - Sherwood Roberts

Fjorgyn - Osi and the Jupiter

Fight to Make It Up - Takenobu

The Edge of Dawn - Rozen

Innocence - Cannon Diviision

A Stray Child - .Hack//Sign

The Kiss - Luigi Rubino

Any Kind of Dead Person - Ghost Quartet

The Great Unknown - Dominique Gilbert

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Saint Mesa

over the rainbow - misterwives

Fireflies - Cullen Vance

My mother Told Me - Nati Dreddd

Athetosis - Crywolf

Major Tom - Shiny Toy Guns

Novacaine - 10 Years

Right Here Right Now - Jesus Jones

NDA - Billie Eilish

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

Completing the Circle - Gareth Coker

There’ll Always Be Another Monster - Brian D’Oliveira

POSTED FIC

May

take my hand and i'll drown you with me | Star Wars | Rey & Ben Solo | 2,157 words |  “You brought this upon yourself,” the creature told her, its voice serene.

June

keeping me restless and whole | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 1,584 words | Mobius was very young when he encountered his first Loki.

July

feed me lies until i'm dead | Loki | Thor/Loki | 3,476 words | “Don’t you think we should talk about it?” Thor asks.

the ghost of us can linger here | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 4,432 words | “So, how do you crazy kids want to do this?” Mobius asks them in a stage whisper, mouth twitching. At her back, Loki laughs, burying the sound against the curve of her neck.

there's a whisper in my bones | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,794 words |  “All right,” she says. “Fine. Let’s make things more interesting. Take off your clothes.”

east of eden | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 2,202 words |  “How long have you been fucking him?”  Mobius asks, stroking his fingers against the place where leather meets skin.

Triptych in C Minor | Loki | Loki/Mobius/Sylvie | 1,647 words | Pt 1 | There is a house at the end of time, past the last storm, pushed up against the very edge of the unknown. It is a castle, a manor, a fortress - all depending on who inhabits it. But one thing that it never is, is a home.

August

N/A

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

May

2k of Reylo mermay fic

June

N/A

July

1k+ of Xue Yang being a slut for Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen

300 words of vampire Song Lan

7k of Green Knight AU

August

10k of Green Knight AU

1.5k of hair dye shenanigans

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

May

yearning: a playlist for the heart

June

the chosen and the beautiful: a mix for jordan baker

July 

kings & queens of the ruckus: a mix for loki and sylvie

August

N/A

[sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-shelby]

Possibly my most epic DnD session yet! (now with sloppy illustrations!)

****Late-game spoilers for Hoard of the Dragon Queen****

I play as Killian Lyle. Level 6 human fighter, eldritch knight, lawful good. +4 str, con. -2 cha. You know the type.

Others in the party are: Rat-Rat, the forest gnome druid. Syrris, the wood-elf rogue. Montagor, the half-elf bard.

So, the last thing Killian did the session before was reenter a tavern our party got kicked out of and try to bribe the tavern keeper to help us get past some baddies. Big tough-looking tavern keeper grabs his weapon. *Roll initiative* End of session.

In Killian’s hands were a shield and a loaf of bread he had recently been served in that tavern. He was alone, the rest of his party discussing plans outside. We all rolled initiative, but only Killian was aware there was going to be combat so far. A couple of the party members got to go first. Basically just wandered town square, taking in surroundings. There are a whole bunch enemy guards nearby, watching, but not picking a fight with the group. 

Killian’s turn. He steps forward and tries to FORCE THE LOAF OF BREAD INTO THE GUYS MOUTH to catch him off-guard and maybe keep him quiet for a second. SMASHING SUCCESS! Guy is unable to stop me from jamming those carbs down his throat and drops his weapon. I bonus action my sword to my hand.

Tavern-keeper’s turn. DM has the guy do a con save to make sure he doesn’t CHOKE TO DEATH AND DIE!  *shit, shit, I didn’t want to kill him!!!* Luckily he saves and is able to clear his airway of bread. He starts swinging fists and misses.

Keep going in initiative order. Guest calls out “HES FIGHTING THE BARTENDER!” Most guests at the tavern flee upstairs, but 2 pull daggers and join in. Montagor the bard hears some commotion and opens the door to see Killian shoving bread down the tavern-keeper’s throat and other people moving in with weapon’s drawn. Tries playing the bagpipes nice and loud for extra diversion, but nat 1′s and pops the bag. Syrris the rogue comes in and starts quietly and *permanently* eliminating anyone attacking with a weapon. Killian tries multiple times to thunk the tavern-keeper on the head with the hilt of his sword well enough to knock him out, but the dude keeps fighting. Poor guy can’t make a single hit though. 

This fight’s going longer than Killian was hoping. He tries a different tactic: INTIMIDATE. Another smashing success. Like a 19 or something, since intimidate is his one charisma-based skill that doesn’t get a negative modifier. BARTENDER GETS A NAT 1! Surrenders. Killian backs off just before the Captain of the group of enemies walks in.

“WHAT”S GOING ON IN HERE!?”

Killian gambles on deception. NAT 20 “Some guys were fighting the tavern-keeper. We helped. They’re dead now.”

Intimidated tavern-keeper nods, says they were going to rob him.

Enemy captain thanks us for protecting his friend and leaves. WOW, DODGED A BULLET THERE!

We head out too, Killian dropping a couple of gold coins for the tavern-keeper as he heads out, and start looking for a good way to get past the guards. We’re trying to get into a GIANT ICE CASTLE that’s about to FLY AWAY. Time’s running out. I’m not sneaky, but we’re about to give it a try, see if our amazing rolls continue. We decide to peek in the giant stable that had HUGE REPTILIAN GROWLS coming from it. This would either be really bad or really good for us. 

Really good! Tied-up wyverns along one wall, riding harnesses on the other. The ice castle begins to take off. Guess we’re doing this! We smell the stink of meat from a nearby building. The rogue is unable to carry a full pig carcass herself. Killian goes to help. NAT 20! Throws a pig over one shoulder, and a sheep over the other and marches off toward the wyverns. Killian has crap animal handling skills, but Rat-Rat the druid doesn’t. Killian keeps the things distracted with bites of meat, Rat-Rat puts the harnesses on them with great success. We climb on, again without incident. And Rat-Rat is apparently a natural-born dragon-rider because he came up with an incredible plan that worked without a hitch. 

Minor-illusion the image of a fat turkey, flying just out of reach of the wyvern. Bard prestidigitation’s the smell of juicy meat coming off the “turkey”. Wyverns were eager to follow. Probably more complicated than it needed to be, but hey, it has pizzazz!

We are able to catch up to the ice castle and land they wyverns near another stable that they seemed trained to fly to. Looking around, ogres and kobolds seem to pay us no mind. Guess randos flying in on the backs of dragon things is a normal sight around here. But as it starts getting dark, creatures seem to hurry their tasks and make their way indoors. We figure we’d better do so as well. Quietly enter the first door we approach. Amazingly, nobody’s there. Not out and about anyway. There’s a comfortably furnished room right when we walk through the door, but we decide to keep exploring. Rat-Rat casts detect magic. The comfortable room has an illusory wall to an outside platform, but nothing else of note. 

We hear a familiar voice arguing with another voice in another room. A wizard we’d rather not exchange blows with if we can help it. Luckily, according to the DM’s dice rolls, they notice nothing.

Then, further down the hall we heard another familiar voice. Rezmir, the dragonborn cult leader we’ve been tracking for MONTHS. Basically in the first spot we look. Wow, really? And none of us are hurt. Most of us have all of our spell slots and other abilities still available to us. Could this be more perfect? Rat-Rat does see a bit of magic in the room in the last moments before his spell times out, but that’s to be expected, right?

There is a lock.“It looks much more complicated than any lock you’ve encountered before”, the DM tells us. But our rogue is pretty skilled in her arts. She decides to give it a try. 

“With my modifier that was a 30.″ Huh. What luck. DM said later that was a DC 25 lock. 

Rezmir was inside, sitting on her bed in her pajamas, just loving on her doggos. I mean attack drakes. Not paying us any mind whatsoever. *roll initiative*

Syrris goes first. Perfect opportunity for an assassination with her poison dagger and all those extra dice rolls she gets in just this sort of situation. She steps into the room and is SNATCHED UP AND HELD DOWN BY A SENTIENT AREA RUG! I should’ve drawn this part too because I can’t help but imagine the magic carpet from Aladdin wrestling the elf.

Anyway, fighting then ensues. Attack drakes come running, keeping the rest of the party besides the rogue out in the hall. Rezmir starts out unarmed, and shoots off a scary-looking spell at our bard. It misses and melts the wall behind him. Thank goodness it missed. Rogue takes 2 turns escaping the rug, Rezmir runs for her sword across the room. Rat-Rat’s moonbeaming Rezmir rather successfully. Killian and the Montagor are mostly in melee with the drakes, but Killian did start with a firebolt to Rezmir’s face. This fight hurts, both sides taking plenty of damage.

The rogue is taking the brunt of the damage trapped inside the bedroom with the dragonborn and that mean magic carpet. She takes it like a champ, but there’s a turn for the worse when she’s ready for healing. The bard’s starts coming to her aid, and she takes more damage, this time from the sword. Healing has no effect from that point.... The sword did something to stop her from regaining hit points, and after the significant damage from its blade, that’s bad news.

Bard and Rogue get caught in a breath attack, and the rogue goes down. Killian and Rat-Rat are still outside of the room, Killian around a corner and can’t actually see Rezmir from where he’s at. Shit. We still have one drake remaining. Killian tries his best with two attacks to eliminate it, but does min damage on both and it remains standing. Fuck it. Time for an Action Surge. Moves past the drake to where he’s in melee with Rezmir herself, stepping out from around the corner. Double attack again. Hits on both. NAT 20 ON THE SECOND! 

“How did it happen?”, the DM asks. I’m floored that I managed to down her in that hit.

“Killian steps around the corner, swinging his sword to where her saw the breath attack originate, slicing through her pajamas into the scales beneath. He then makes eye contact with her and sees the recognition in her face as she looks his way in surprise, even as he’s pulling back his sword for a second strike. Killian lunges full-force, plunging the sword right through her before she has the chance to react.”

“FOOLS!”, she cries out with her final breath as she disintegrates into ash, her sword and a couple of keys clanging to the floor where she had stood. Simultaneously an ornate chest in the far corner of the room violently explodes, destroying anything that might’ve been inside.

We rush to the Syrris, and Rat-Rat stabilizes her. Killian places her on the bed to rest. Then eyes turn toward the items Rezmir left behind. Killian voices that the rogue won’t be pleased to see the chest exploded when she regains consciousness, but doesn’t personally care much that the loot is no more. The party uses one of the keys in the pile of ash that was Rezmir to relock the room so they can use the comfortable chamber for a night of recuperation before continuing venturing back into the castle.

“Killian, I think you’re the only one of us that could wield that sword.”, Rat-Rat squeaks, pointing to the one remaining object on the ground.

The sword is jagged and black with a purple crystal in the hilt. Something about it makes Killian uneasy.

Killian replies, “A greatsword... Doesn’t really suit my fighting style. But it seems a powerful blade. ” Then he picks it up off the floor feeling powerful magic coursing through it, and hears a voice in his head.

“Hello”, the sword whispers, darkly. “You enjoyed that kill, didn’t you.”

Oh man, having my lawful good, magic fanatic, fighter boy weigh the benefits of wielding a legendary magical sword of untold power, against the moral drawback of it being intelligent and EVIL is going to be a wild ride. He has attuned to it, and we’ll see where this takes us. 

I’m still reeling from all the amazing things that happened in this session. What a day for Killian in particular. 

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

2019 favorite songs (male version)

A/N: This is all my personal opinions and these are the songs that stood out to me this year and are the most memorable for me. Also this post will be long 

Here is my top 10 for those who don’t want to see the rest

1. Rooftop - N.Flying

2. Soso - Winner

3. Wonderland - Ateez

4. Highway to Heaven - NCT 127

5. Undercover - A.C.E

7. Lit - Oneus

8. Sweet Chaos- Day6

9. Savage - A.C.E

10. Fuego - U-Kwon

January 

“Lonely Night” - KNK 

I was anticipating KNK’s return. I was very curious as to what they would do after leaving their company and having Youjin leave and Dongwon join. But they did not disappoint at all. Dongwon proved himself very much and it’s one of my favs this year. 

“I’m OK” - iKon

I was so ready for this song. I love it so much. I was so ready for this song I was at school ready for it. iKon have never disappointed me with a song and this one is no exception. I adore it and listening to it makes me miss B.I. 

“Say My Name” & “Hala Hala” - Ateez

Ateez was always on my radar. But these songs really made me notice them you know. I still bop to them both daily and like this is peak Kpop to me. This is the standard I expect from groups. Ateez really is out here to kill

“Rooftop” - N.flying

This song might be favorite this year. I’m not the biggest N.Flying stan (Really getting into them tho) and I love this song. This song might be my number 1 this year. I love it so much. 

February

“Want” - Taemin

Taemin is a god. That’s all I really have to say. Like Taemin really is on another level. This whole album is a blessing. 

“Enough” - SF9 

SF9 are a group to look out for in my opinion. They really have their own sound and I can appreciate that. I have all of their albums in my playlist. I listen to this one frequently. 

March

“Tuxedo” - Ravi

If you want to be happy. Listen to this song. It just puts a smile on my face. I genuinely like all of Ravi’s albums and think he is really promising as a musician. 

“Thrilla Killa” - VAV

Still kinda sad Jacob isn’t in this one because wow. But VAV are underrated kings of the year. Thrilla Killa is such a fun song. I really have been enjoying VAV’s releases. 

“Miroh”- Stray Kids 

I will be jamming to Miroh until the day i die. I will be doing the Haka part of the choreo to this dance, until the day I die. 

“Vibe” - 1Team

This might possibly one of my favorite debuts of all time. The song is so chill and mature yet still fun and I feel like you got to hear every member’s strengths and I adore it to bits and pieces. 

April 

“Doves” - Gree

(Couldn’t find a gif for the mv)

I really fell in love with this song after stumbling on it accidentally. The song is really different and I really really like it. 

“Tu Eres” - Newkidd

It makes me so happy to see Hansol find his place somewhere. After he left SM and the SMrookies, he joined The Unit and I was just kind of like when is he going to find his place, is he going to go solo? I’m just happy he found his place. All around this is a solid debut. 

“Bloom Bloom” - The Boyz

I have had a hard time getting into the The Boyz, I still don’t know any names or anything but this is the first song that really peaked my interest. I really love songs like this. It’s so fun and fresh to listen to and it puts me in a good mood. 

“Bet Bet” - Nu’est

Nu’est is really coming for me. I love every release they have brought out over the years. They are just so good. Baekho’s vocals are god tier and I adore this song. The album is amazing as well. 

May

“Ah Yeah” - Winner

Winner have been so refreshing and just lovely lately. Their recent comebacks have really made me adore them even more. “Ah Yeah” is a song I have been listening to a lot lately and it just makes me really happy. 

“Undercover” - A.C.E

We all know how I feel about A.C.E. This song is in my top 10 this year, maybe even top 5. A.C.E have so much talent and the video and the styling are amazing. But like the rap is God tier. 

“Highway to Heaven” - NCT 127

I chose this song over “Superhuman” because it’s superior to me. Highway to Heaven makes me feel like a college student, going on a spring break roadtrip with my friends. Also in my top 10 this year. 

“Twilight” - Oneus

I didn’t put their debut in this, even though it was amazing because Twilight is superior. I love this concept, this song and these boys. Oneus are proving themselves to be monster rookies and I am here for it. “Now” is a really good b-side. 

June

“Wave” & “Illusion” - Ateez

It’s not surprise that Ateez makes the list again. This album was the one I bopped too all summer and I will never not “HAKUNA MATATA YAAAA” 

“RPM” - SF9

I LOVE SF9. Look RPM is superior in everyway and form. The choreo, the styling, the song, the mv, JUST EVERYTHING. I was so shook when this song came out omg. 

“Side Effects” - Stray Kids

Boy my head hurts. I love Stray Kids, I love their songs. This song totally caught me off guard and as much as I prefer it when Stray Kids isn’t as angry, this song is amazing and no one can change my mind. 

“Questions” - Zelo

I missed my baby. It’s nice to hear his voice again. I love this track it’s really nice and summery. Looking forward to more things by my baby. 

July

“Rolling Rolling” - 1team 

1Team are rookies I didn’t know what to expect from. But their songs are so chill omg. I love every single one of them and like I just feel hanging out at the beach when i listen to them. 

“Time of our life” - Day6

Day6. I love this song. They had so much fun with it and it’s just so good omg. Day6 for the win. K-Bands for the win. 

“Sunset” - KNK

Oh lord. KNK came for my throat. I want more KNK in 2020 because I need it. This song reminds me of a fashion show. 

“Give me more (ft. De La Ghetto, Play n Skillz)” - VAV

Fun summer songs always win for me. Also VAV always win for me. I really like the dance and just the vibe of the song. It is kinda generic but I still really like it and listen to it alot. 

“Boom” NCT Dream

Boy these boys have grown up so much. It warms my heart and makes me sad at the same time. I still listen to this daily. 

“Face” - Woosung/Sammy 

I love this song so much. It’s so refreshing and nice to listen to. Sammy’s voice is like butter. 

August

“Come back home” - Target

This song surprised me. I generally don’t go into groups I don’t know with high hopes, but I really like this song and the choreography. 

“Final Kiss” - IZ

This is a band I have been getting into too. Final Kiss is a great way to end the summer and it’s a really nice refreshing and fun. The drummer really caught my eye, because he’s hella cute and the main vocalist is so talented. 

September

“Hit” and “Fear” - Seventeen 

Fear made me nearly crap myself at the beginning of the song. It caught me so off guard but in the best way. Hit is just such a fun song and a hype song. I yell along to it in the shower almost every time. 

“Lit” - Oneus

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. How they made such a fun song that I willbe listening to 10 years later is besides me. Oneus really out proving themselves. Another one for in my top 10. 

“Human” and “Daredevil” - Zico

I have mentioned in the past how much I love Zico and his music and this was the return I wanted. The Thinking album is just amazing. Zico manages to put every emotion there is into an album. 

October (A lot of great releases here)

“Jopping” - SuperM

I will be jopping to the end of time. Look a lot of people hate the thought of SuperM and stuff. But like, to me SuperM is just alot of amazing in one group and the songs are really cool. So yeah and they created their own verb. 

“Why” - ONF

(not the right mv but yeah)

This song really put ONF on the map for me. It’s so different and nice. I love it. The mv is also incredibly and the vocals are too. 

“Wonderland” - Ateez

Again, no surprise. This song is still on repeat for me. I love it, I want to tattoo it on my forehead. i want Yunho to “Kajaaaa” all over me. I love it, love it, love it. Can’t wait to see them live in 2020. Also in my top 10 this year. 

“Good Bam” - N.Flying

A chill feel good song that I adore. Me and my friend talk alot on voice chat on discord and at the end of the night we say ‘Good Bam’ because of this song. It’s just so fun. 

“Runaway” - TXT 

I am not the biggest TXT stan, I like some songs and that’s about it but, Run away is an amazing song. The mv is lovely, the song is great and I really like the choreography. 

“Poison” - VAV

VAV came for my throat and they didn’t have to. Also in my top 10 this year. 

“Sweet Chaos” - Day6

I listen to this and i want to scream along. We got a lot this comeback, Young K’s forehead, a full album and all of Day6 in suits. Another one for in my top 10. 

“So So” - Winner

SoSo came out after I broke up with my boyfriend and let me tell you, perfect timing. This mv is one of the best I have seen ever and the song is amazing. Winner really stepped up their game this year. Another top 10. 

“Follow” - Monsta X

This will be a Monsta X era I will cherish forever. Enough said. 

“Savage” - A.C.E

We all know my A.C.E tangent I went on and I will not apologize. Another one for the top 10. No one does it like A.C.E. MORE A.C.E IN 2020. Also Wow’s rap in this song needs to be 10 verses longer, for my health. 

November

“Calling my name” - GOT7

Got7′s best title track yet? IDK but to me it is. I also love all the b-sides and I feel like everyone got to show off their strengths. 

“Make this” - 1Team

The beat drop in this song is something I haven’t quite heard before. I really like it and the video reminds of like a 90′s video game which is pretty cool. 1Team really are my favorite group out of boygroups who debuted this year. 

“Balloon” - Zico

Zico man, I love this video and song so much. It encapsulates alot of my own emotions and it’s beautiful. 

“Blue Flame” - Astro

This song had me so shook. I have really been getting into Astro and this is my first comeback with them and I am not at all disappointed. Astro man...

december

“Fuego” - U Kwon

I love this song so much. I want people to cover dance it, the choreography is so fun and I’d do it myself but I can’t dance. I love the song and it was like the last thing I expected in December and it is in my top 10. 

“Levanter” Stray Kids

a bittersweet comeback. But still beautiful, I’m proud of how far they have come and Stray Kids have never disappointed me. The choreo is lovely and Seungmin’s vocals are beautiful. 

[illyrianwingspans]

Do Not Go Gentle: Hopeless

Link to song: Hopeless by Halsey

Synopsis: Some fresh air and a little bad news for Feyre and Rhys. 

TW: Mentions of dark thoughts and abuse. Please read with caution. 

Ao3 Link

Chapter 19: Hopeless

“Okay, so this button here is my calendar. It’s all colour coded by level of importance so I ignore the stuff that doesn’t matter and prioritize the things that need my absolute focus.”

Rhys had been teaching me little things here and there about the tasks I’d need to do while working for him, despite the fact that I hadn’t agreed to anything yet. He was meticulous about everything, organized his life to the very minute.

“So what’s this box here in green?”

“That’s Cassian’s appointment with me today. He says it’s to look over possible changes security codes in the building, but I know it’s just to whine to me about his salary being lower than Amren’s.”

“Okay, and this one in red over here?” It read: Extremely important lunch with extremely important person.

“That’s our lunch date tomorrow, darling. Can’t quite miss that, can I?”

I slapped Rhys on the arm and he chuckled before setting his laptop down and heading for the kitchen. He came back with two mugs of coffee, and I thanked him quietly before he sat down next to me.

“I wasn’t told of this lunch date. What’s the extremely important matter we’re discussing?”

Rhys smirked. “Well, we have a few items to go over for your contract, and I need your signature for official documents and the such. Are you ready to sign on at Night Industries?”

I took a sip of my coffee, glancing up at him over the rim. “I guess you’ll find out tomorrow.”

“Tease,” he said before rifling around some more on his laptop. “Have you got a CV prepared?”

“I’d love to give you that, but it’s pretty blank. And my references wouldn’t quite answer if you called.” Andras, for obvious reasons, and the CEO of Spring Corp, for other obvious reasons.

Rhys shook his head. “Sorry, that was a stupid question. Nonetheless, I am looking very forward to it.”

I sighed and lounged across the couch, the very same one that Cassian sat upon last night before flipping the table during our absolutely failed attempt at playing a peaceful game of Monopoly. “Don’t you have better things to do?”

“Don’t you have better things to do than asking me that question over and over again?” Rhys replied as his fingers tapped away at his keyboard.

“Well, there are a few movies on Netflix that seem to be calling my name, but I’m sick of television.”

Rhys jammed his finger on the enter button, and the sound of an email sending filled the room before he closed the top of his laptop. “Let’s go for a walk, then.”

I raised my eyebrows. “A walk?”

“Fresh air. It’ll do us both some good.”

I looked down at the clothes I was wearing, old sweatpants and a hoodie. Rhys only rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen you in worse, darling. Come on. Let’s go.”

***

The park in Velaris was still gleaming with rain from yesterday’s showers. Gravel crunched beneath the sneakers I wore, still muddy and damp. Rhys didn’t seem to mind as his gaze wandered to the river flowing beside us. In the park, others had gathered despite the overcast clouds threatening to unleash their wrath upon us at any moment. We’d driven over and parked the car a few miles back, and walked in silence amongst the sounds of city life surrounding us.

“Do you come here often?” I asked quietly. We’d settled on a bench looking out upon the water before us. Dog-walkers and joggers passed by, just another blip in their daily routine, seemingly so mundane in such an overturned world. Well, overturned for me, completely and perfectly normal for everyone else, though I knew it wasn’t fair to make that assumption.

Pain wasn’t exclusive to one person. Suffering was a whore, and fucked over anybody in its wake.

Rhys said, “I used to.”

“Before?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

He blew out a breath and shrugged. “Lots of shit happened. I can’t even keep track of it all anymore.”

To keep our minds on something lighter, something better, I asked him, “I know you say your employees are your family, but what about the rest of it? Parents? Siblings?”

He chuckled at the first bit and ran a hand through his hair as the wind picked up and whipped at our clothes. “My friends,” he corrected, “are family first, employees second.” He paused for a moment, then continued, “My parents and I had a house on the outskirts of the city, but my mom wanted us to live in Illyria. Her and I moved there after she got pregnant with my little sister, to my dad’s utmost frustration. He finally came to join us when my sister was born, and we lived there all together for a little while until he had to go back. My mom refused to join him.”

“They didn’t get along, I’m guessing?”

He shook his head. “It wasn’t the best of pairings, to say the least, but they understood each other. And underneath all of it, they loved each other.”

It made me think of my own parents. How everything had gone to shit so quickly after my mother got sick, how my dad fell apart in the aftermath. I didn’t remember her, my mother—but I remembered the fallout after her, of which I still sheltered myself from all these years later.

“Where are they now?”

He exhaled sharply through his nose. “About fifteen blocks away from my house.”

“They live so close by and you’ve never mentioned them?”

“I visit them every week. At the cemetery.”

Oh. Oh, gods. I was a horrible person. “I’m so sorry, Rhys.”

He shrugged. “House fire.” A few seconds later, he added, “A freak accident.”

We were quiet for a few moments longer, and I said, “My mother died, too. Cancer.”

“I’m sorry.” Talking about death hurt the most, because what else were we supposed to say to each other? How do any words even attempt to fix the burning voids within us stemmed from their absences? What truly stung, though, was that my mother never even held a true space within me—I did not know her, I only knew the aftermath of her disappearance.

Rhys stood from the bench and wandered over to the river’s edge. He leaned over the ledge of the metal railing, staring down at the thrumming waters, below, and sighed. I took up spot next to him, our biceps pressed together, and the warmth of his touch grounded me despite the cold around us.

I stared at him as he stared out across what seemed like a vast, endless being soaring in front of us. And the lingering pain on his face, clouded with memories unknown to me, was enough for me to say, “You know, this goes both ways. I can talk to you, and you can talk to me. Whenever you need.”

Rhys dragged his gaze away from the Sidra and wondered, “A thought for a thought?”

“What do you mean?”

“I say something on my mind, then you say something. Like a trade.”

My nails dug into the skin around my thumb, a nervous habit I’d never seemed to drop, and winced at the tearing skin. “Okay.”

“I’m thinking that sometimes I want to wipe this whole city off the map so I can start over, and buy us a little more time. I’m thinking that I was an idiot to ever let Hybern sink its teeth into my company and fool us all. I’m thinking that for the rest of my life I’ll be trapped under their thumb, that I’ll be trapped under that bitch and all the havoc she caused my people and I.”

I could only focus on that slip of information. Trapped under who? What woman could’ve caused the agony shining on Rhys’s face, so blindingly painful that he winced at her very memory?

At the question on my face, Rhys only added, “There’s a bit more to the story about my history with Hybern.” Looking upon the peaceful scenery before us, it seemed like a shame to poison it with our misery-soaked words. “It’s for another time and place.”

Maybe it was because of the jagged pieces of truth that he offered me, but it filled with a sort of courage and recklessness that had me quietly murmuring, “I’m thinking that I must have been a fool in love to allow myself to be shown so little of Spring Corporations. I’m thinking there’s a great deal of information and secrets and shady bullshit I wasn’t allowed to see or hear about and maybe I would’ve lived in ignorance for the rest of my life like some fucking pet.

“I’m thinking,” the words choked up in my chest as Rhys’s gaze softened, full of concern and empathy, “that I was a lonely, helpless person, and I fell in love with the first person that showed me a shred of kindness. Of safety. I think he knew that—maybe not entirely, or actively, but he wanted to be that person for someone. A protector, a guardian. And that may have worked for the person I was before. But maybe not for the person I became. Not after…” I couldn’t breathe those words yet. Not after I shot those two people, not after life had gloriously and marvellously fucked me over completely. And though the words were selfish and hateful despite everything he’d done for me, they were a beam of truth I’d kept far, far down in my withered soul, tucked away even from myself.

I’d been gone merely two weeks, and I was already shitting all over his name. I was no better than him, no better than the angered man who’d done everything to keep me subdued.

“That was five. I owe you two thoughts.”

“Keep them. For another time.”

We both looked at each other for a moment, wind off the briny waters ruffling our hair. Rhys murmured, “Suriel used to do this thing at our appointments. Rate my mood on a scale.”

I nodded my head. “I did that, too.”

“I feel like a solid seven, today,” Rhys said. “You?”

I debated it for a few brief seconds, then admitted, “Four.” Better than yesterday, but still not enough.

“Okay.” He tucked my hair behind my ear, and it felt so natural I didn’t even blink at the gesture. “How about I cook some Mac and cheese for dinner tonight. Would that bring you up to a five?”

I only grinned, the slightest curve upwards of my lips, and said, “Four point three.”

***

We sat before the TV, bowls of macaroni and cheese in hand, watching the news. Nothing really exciting—preparations for the upcoming city summit, a shooting in the east end of town, a puppy parade for the local shelter. Rhys told me about the dog he had when he was younger, a loyal German Shepard he adored—but ultimately had to give away after it literally chewed through a wall. It took all of Rhys’s strength and will to keep his father from shooting it.

When we were done, Rhys and I brought our bowls to the kitchen, and I filled the sink up with soapy water to wash the dishes. He did so much for me, carved too much time out of his day for my sake, that it was the least I could do. Despite my protests, he still stood beside me to wipe them dry, our elbows grazing whenever I passed him another rinsed plate. The townhouse was quiet, peaceful with only the soft hum of the TV behind us, that I wasn’t even surprised when it blared Breaking News and ruined the moment.

Rhys shut off the sink and I wiped my hands on a nearby dishtowel before we quickly meandered back to the couch before in the family room. The news reporter was saying words, words that didn’t even make sense—

Then he was there, right there on the screen, as though he fucking knew I was watching him.

Everything else around me disappeared as the CEO of Spring Corporations said, “Thank you for joining me today. Unfortunately, the information I have to share isn’t good, and it breaks my heart to announce that my fiancee Feyre Archeron has gone missing.”

Distantly, I knew that Rhys already had his phone out, probably dialling someone from the Inner Circle to find out what the fuck was going on. I couldn’t listen, couldn’t even think about it as he was standing there at the podium of Prythian Police Station. Cameras flickered and flashed as he paused, then said, “Her location is currently unknown, and she was last seen at Spring Corporations, a safe location she was told to stay until after the scene of our apartment had been cleared, the day of the second attempt on her life. The security footage we gathered shows her being carried out by Cassian Noctis, a current employee at Night Industries.”

“Shit,” Rhys was muttering beside me, “shit, shit, shit—”

“He is currently in custody. His apartment was searched, but Feyre still remains missing. If anyone has any information upon her whereabouts, I beg you to please call the info line on your screen.”

I didn’t think I was breathing. How had they gotten Cassian? When? How come we weren’t called the second it happened?

“Feyre, if you’re seeing this by some miracle,” his voice was thick with tears, and I nearly vomited all over the hardwood floors as his eyes practically bored into mine. “I love you. I swear to all the Gods I will do everything I can to get you back.”

My fingers, with a mind of their own, reached over to the remote and turned the screen off.

“We need to go. Right now.”

Rhys was saying something else, so many things, but I was spinning.

It’s like I could still feel him. I could still feel each and every claw of his control, of his anger—they pinned me to where I sat.

Even from afar, Tamlin held my head under the water. I was drowning. I was screaming for air, but he shoved me into the deep end and let the waves crash over me.

“Feyre, we need to leave.” I didn’t realize he was kneeling before me, his eyes filled with desperation. I didn’t feel Rhys’s arms around me as he lead me to the townhouse entrance. As he fed my arms through the jacket and slipped a scarf around my neck, sunglasses in my pocket. We got into his SUV and he careened it down the street and into the city.

But I was drowning. Consumed by the water. Consumed by the flames in my mind, the towering inferno trapping me. The flames or the fall? Those words played in my mind over and over again as streets passed by in my peripheral vision.

“I’ll go back.” The words escaped my lips before I could stop them, emotion creeping up my chest and searing my throat as my vision blurred. “I’ll go back, Rhys. It’s okay.”

“Don’t take his bait. Let us figure this shit out before making any decisions.”

“He’s never gonna stop,” I breathed. “I can’t keep letting him destroy you guys. I won’t.”

“It’s going to take a hell of a lot more than this to destroy us, Feyre.” He tore into the parking lot and jammed on the breaks when he slid into a space. “Put your glasses on, cover your face with your scarf, and hood up.”

I did as he said automatically, and he came around to my side of the car, equally concealed as me, before we sped to the front doors of the PPS. There were press and cameras everywhere, but I kept my head down, trying to follow Rhys’s tugs on my arm forward and into the station. The yells and raucous was sealed off as soon as the doors shut behind us.

Mor was instantly there, despite the cops’ protests, and Rhys snarled, “Why the hell wasn’t I called?”

“You were called as soon as we knew, Rhys, which was about ten fucking minutes ago. They’ve had him all afternoon without telling us. We thought he left early.”

“Where’s Azriel?”

“On his way. Cassian hasn’t said anything. Amren’s finally in there with him, but we’re not saying a fucking thing.”

“We didn’t do anything wrong, Mor. They’ve got nothing on us.”

“They do until we say otherwise. If we want to clear ourselves, we need to tell them everything.”

Everything. I knew what everything meant. Everything was every bruise, every scar and every cut on my body at his mercy. Everything meant all of me, surrendering my shrivelled soul.

After all they’d done for me, I couldn’t think of anything else to help them. Show them what he did to me, or waltz right back into my prison in chains for the rest of my life.

Mor and Rhys were arguing, and didn’t realize when I stepped up to the counter, peeling off my hood, my glasses, and said, “My name is Feyre Archeron and I’d like to speak with whoever’s in charge of this case. Alone.”

[nicostolemybones]

The Battle of Area 51

“This is not a game,” Nico lectured sternly, and Percy snickered. “This is no laughing matter, Jackson! Okay, let’s run through the plan one last time! Ares cabin, Clarisse, you’ll lead the charge, take down the guards, lay down cover fire for the Naruto runners! Poseidon Cabin, Zeus cabin, you guys whip up a storm to help the Ares cabin! Apollo cabin and Hunters of Artemis, you’re the snipers, I want you on high ground firing arrows at them! Aphrodite cabin, charmspeak those guards to let us past and to give us access codes to all the rooms and spill all the secrets! Hecate cabin, use the mist to make decoys! Nemesis cabin, remember, this is vengeance for all the imprisoned aliens and that’s why you’re here! Demeter cabin, slow the guards down with thick vines and poisonous plants! Athena cabin, you’re working on infiltrating and hacking all the computers! Hephaestus cabin, burn down gun stations, jam missiles, Festus can burn down doorways, I want to see you guys working on all the technology we steal and I want you all to figure out all the machines inside and use them for our advantage! Dionysus cabin, get them drunk, make them temporarily mad, weaken their defences! Iris cabin, use your abilities to disorientate and distract the guards! Hypnos cabin- CLOVIS WAKE UP- send the guards to sleep when you can! Hermes cabin, you’re stealing and sneaking in whilst the guards are distracted! Hades cabin- well Hazel- summon obstacles and summon weapons, shadow travel aliens to safety. The rest of you, just fuck shit up with your abilities! Romans; same rules apply, and follow the orders of your Praetors, do not go against orders unless necessary!”

“LET’S CLAP SOME ALIEN CHEEKS!” Connor yelled. Nico glared at him, whilst the younger campers plus Percy erupted into giggles.

“There will be no clapping alien cheeks,” Nico sighed in exasperation, “no alien cheeks will be clapped by anybody, by Olympus what the Hades is wrong with straight people?”

“Wait you’re gay?!”

“Yes but that’s not the point, just- go blend in with the mortals! Solace- you’re with me, we’ll go in with the Naruto runners and you need to make sure we don’t infect the aliens and they don’t infect us, and treat the wounded.” Percy wolf-whistled, so Nico summoned a skeleton to smack him round the back of the head. The group of demigods dispersed amongst the mortal army- which wasn’t much, but between the Kyles, weeaboos, tumblr trash, and Naruto runners, there was a fair few, and some cosplayers, DnD players, and medieval recreation nerds seemed to have a fair amount of weapons and armour- even if most of it was plastic light sabers, Klingon Bat’leths, and various other fantasy weapons.

Everything was quiet for a while, and the battle was more a staring down contest between the guards and the civilian raiders. Phones were beginning to live stream, and that’s when the Stoll brothers yelled the immortal battle cry “DO IT FOR THE VINE!!!” and the mortal crowd roared and cheered, repeating the battle cry.

“PEANUT BUTTER!!!” Tyson yelled as the crowd surged forwards. Nico screamed, Naruto running as fast as he could towards the guards, summoning skeleton armies of Naruto runners to back them up, but as soon as the guards opened fire, many Naruto runners gave up and turned away running back, or decided it best to run “normally”. One dedicated man had turned his electric wheelchair into some kind of turbo charged mini tank shaped like a Dalek. Fortnite dancers fortnite danced as they charged, Harry Potter fans desperately yelled out Unforgiveable Curses. Stargate fans dressed as Jaffa and Goa’uld warriors charged with staff weapons and pellet guns, some wearing “Free Thor” t-shirts- but not Marvel’s Thor or the Norse God thor- but rather the tiny alien guy Nico recognised from when Will made him watch Stargate. The Stargate Atlantis fans came dressed as Wraith instead. Marvel fans were clad in full superhero gear, although some fights had broken out between them and the DC fans. Star Wars fans dressed in Jedi robes. Clad in armour, the demigods didn’t look out of place. Nico was pleased to see the Egyptian magicians being lead by Sadie and Carter Kane, Magnus Chase and Samirah al-Abbass leading the Valkyries, Alex Fierro next to Frank Zhang shapeshifting into whatever they could. Alex stopped occasionally so she could spray mace into the eyes of Terfs.

Nico shadow travelled at the last minute, grabbing hold of Will and pulling him through the shadows. Will didn’t slow down when they emerged, and the image of Will Naruto running headfirst into a wall was going to be a source of laughter in Nico’s mind for many years to come. Thankfully, he didn’t do a Jason and knock himself out. “Ah fuck, I can’t believe you’ve done this!” Will gasped, and Nico raised his eyebrow. In the distance, they heard Grover cause a Panic- although it didn’t affect the guards about to shoot Will in the face, so Will let out a shrill whistle and Naruto ran for it.

“Dork,” Nico jibed, pulling Will into the shadows again. Nico meant for them to land inside an aircraft hangar- but it soon became clear that they were inside some kind of alien spaceship.

“Holy Hera,” Will gasped, “Nico THIS SHIP HAS A STARGATE! NICO LOOK THAT IS A STARGATE, IMMA DIAL ABYDOS-”

“Focus, Solace,” Nico warned, “we can do that once we get this back to camp. I wasn’t allowed to drive the sun chariot so I’ll drive this time.”

“I get the feeling I’m gonna die if I let you drive,” Will replied, and Nico huffed.

“That’s if I don’t kill your stupid face first,” he retorted proudly, and Will snickered, looking around the ship.

“OH MY GODS NICO THERE’S A LIGHT SABER HERE!”

“DIBS THE RED ONE,” Nico yelled, rushing over and grabbing one, almost decapitating Will in his excitement.

“We should summon up a certain ghost,” Will grinned.

“Are you suggesting we prank call Castellan?”

“Nico, dude. You have to, for humanity. Do it for our children.”

Several runs to McDonald’s later and Luke Castellan’s ghost was confronted by Nico in pitch black armour and a light saber to speak the immortal words: “Luke, I am your father.” Luke’s ghost laughed. The gods applauded from Olympus. Will was unable to get up off the floor through his raucous laughter.

After several minutes of exploring the craft, the two demigods were armed with phasers and now possessed the infinity gauntlet- although they both agreed not to let Percy near it in case he dabbed rather than Thanos snapped at monsters. Nico shadow travelled a fair amount of the loot back to camp, where Chiron stood facepalming and shaking his head. This is when Nico learned that the Party Ponies had joined the raid and found out that Monster Donut were sponsoring Area 51. Nico returned to find Will making a flower crown for a baby alien he’d found hidden in the glove compartment. “Is that what I think it is,” Nico questioned, and Will smiled.

“An alien? Well yeah.”

“No, I meant a baby. Are you seriously holding a baby?”

“Yeah, a cute little alien baby, I made them a flower crown and put a bow in their hair! Well I hope it’s a baby otherwise I just told a whole-ass adult I’m their daddy now.” Nico choked- Will didn’t appear to realise the innuendo his words would have turned into if the alien was an adult. Will appeared to have adopted an alien child and that somehow melted Nico completely. Stupid son of Apollo being a perfect dad to an abandoned alien baby found in the glove compartment of a space ship.

“You can’t just raise a child, Will, the parents won’t pay child support and you’re like- fifteen and you look- you look twelve, okay, you look like a foetus!”

“Nico I’m only two months older than you,” Will laughed, “I’m still fourteen like you are, idiot. Although technically you’re ninety, you can be the grandpa.”

“I’m not going to be your daddy, Solace,” Nico replied, forgetting how it may have sounded like an innuendo, and Will choked and spluttered.

“That word is officially banned,” Will squeaked, and Nico quickly nodded in agreement. Thankfully before it could get any more awkward, the alien child started to cry. “Oh my gods Nico what do I do with it?”

“Does it have an off switch or batteries you can take out like the babies they give you in school?”

“Um- I can’t see any off switch, Nico, what do I do?!”

“You’re the doctor! Sing to it! Just don’t do a Hera and yeet it off a mountain or out of a window, I don’t need you Percying this into a worse situation than it already is!”

“Oh my gods I’m a single parent before I’ve had the talk,” Will whined, trying to hum a lullaby to the alien baby, which screeched, turned into a bug, and ran. Will shrieked and Nico accidentally summoned a pile of alien skulls. “Hey! My singing isn’t that bad,” Will protested, and the alien bug screeched again and shot some kind of web at Will’s face. Will squealed, trying clumsily to wipe the webbing off his face. Once Nico stopped laughing, he helped to pull the webbing out of Will’s hair, although once he managed to detangle the last of the webbing, he found himself enthralled by the soft bouncy texture of Will’s hair. It was curly like Nico’s, but dryer to the touch, probably a testament to the hours of sunbathing Nico figured Will had to do in order to stay tanned all year round. He didn’t realise he was obsessively caressing his best friend’s hair until he felt Will’s hand on his shoulder. Nico gasped, snapping his hand back and muttering an apology, but Will merely smiled and gods that smile melted Nico. “Fellas, is it gay to kiss your homie at Area 51,” Will asked to nobody in particular, and Nico found himself turning puce as Will leaned in, placing a gentle but certainly not platonic kiss on Nico’s lips. Nico’s brain seemed to short circuit, skeletal butterflies resurrecting down his spine and in his stomach.

When Nico’s brain finally managed a coherent thought, all he could manage to say was “that’s gay.”

Will snorted, resting his head on Nico’s shoulder as he laughed silently. “You’re gay,” he finally replied through giggles.

“Well you kissed me, you’re gay,” Nico retorted with a huff.

“Yeah, but is it gay if it’s your homie and you’re in Area 51,” Will asked with an impish grin, lifting his head and giving Nico a mishievous grin.

“We are gay, you dumbass,” Nico replied, lightly shoving Will’s shoulder.

“I guess we are,” Will replied with feigned thoughtfulness lacing his voice, “maybe we should make out just to be sure.”

“Don’t push your luck, Solace,” Nico said sternly, and Will pouted comically. Nico stood on his toes and leaned up, but he was too short to reach, so Will leaned down and Nico was finally able to place a rough kiss on Will’s lips.

And of course, that just had to be the exact moment to hear a chorus of “two bros, chillin’ in a space ship, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay!” They broke apart immediately, startled by the presence of an Iris message showing Percy, Jason, Leo and Piper all grinning stupidly at them and Annabeth rolling her eyes.

“I’ll kill you all if you dare tell anyone,” Nico warned, raising skeletons to chase after them- although the skeletons were certainly not human. Leo and Percy screamed and ran, whilst Piper and Will laughed loudly. Jason merely raised his eyebrow, and Nico shrugged in response.

“So, that’s your type, huh,” Percy grinned, “I never thought we’d share a type!”

“What,” Nico snapped.

“Bossy blondes,” Percy replied, and Jason and Annabeth glared daggers.

“I agree,” Piper chimed in, “bossy blondes are worth the trouble.” This time, Jason and Annabeth both blushed.

Nico shrugged, looking back to Will, who seemed to be pre-occupied with the Stargate behind them. “Well, this one’s my bossy blond,” Nico replied fondly.

“Troublemakers are my type,” Annabeth replied, and Percy and Piper bowed proudly, “and Jason’s.”

“My type is pouty emo kids with long hair and sexy accents,” Will replied, and Nico blushed darkly.

“Your type is troublemakers,” Piper replied, “the ideal OTP formula is bossy blonde and troublemaking brunette, you can’t change my mind.”

“Whatever,” Nico protested. The Iris message cut off when a fight broke out between a Star Wars stan and a Trekkie.

“So,” Will began immediately, “can we be boyfriends now?”

“Only if you keep PDA to a minimum,” Nico replied, and Will beamed, glowing a warm amber light. Before they could do much more, however, a loud explosion ripped their attention away from each other. They both ran out to find the source of the explosion, and that is where they found Clarisse refereeing a battle between Shaggy and Thanos. The Stolls were running a betting ring, and Nico was sure they were all gonna die. But hey, it was a room full of Millennials and Gen Z, so nobody seemed particularly bothered by the danger of the situation, because this footage would certainly be legendary. Thanos snapped, and Shaggy disintegrated, only to reform using 1% of his power and steal the gauntlet. Shaggy dabbed, and Thanos was no more. Clarisse blew her whistle and the fight was over- the most epic showdown in human history and it had only taken seconds. Within minutes, lightening struck, and that was the moment Percy groaned loudly in realisation that the gods had been responsible for Area 51 all along.

“FUCK YOU, ZEUS,” Percy yelled, and the lightening would have struck him if it wasn’t for Shaggy eating the lightening bolt and letting out a loud burp.

“Do you have any wisdom, O mighty one,” Kayla asked, bowing at Shaggy’s feet.

“Sometimes you just gotta eat the enemy, man,” Shaggy replied, and the demigods let out a collective awed ‘ooohhh’. It was that moment that Shaggy burped out a heart-shaped arrow, and Nico realised that Shaggy had vored Cupid. Nico felt a smug grin break through his usually stoic expression, and Jason cheered loudly from the sidelines.

“Anyway, Shaggy said gay rights,” Will grinned.

“Actually, young man,” Shaggy said, gently resting his hand on Will’s shoulder, “I say gay and trans rights. And on that note, I think I might assassinate the president! Until next time, guys, gals, and non-binary pals!” And with that, and a wink to Alex Fierro, Shaggy dissipated into the wind, enraging the bigots and empowering the queer kids.

The raid continued into the night, the Stolls helping to take technology back to camp and Clarisse leading the charge against the military. It was only when Nico and Will made their way to the middle of the camp, all of the aliens freed and all technology liberated, that the end of the raid was in sight. Nico opened the final door, the entire raid party behind them, to find Rick Astley tied to a chair, singing Never Gonna Give You Up. It was then that they realised: they had been Rickrolled by the government.

[feferipeixes]

Innocence Is Not Knowing That You’re Innocent (2/5)

Belle knows her brother pretty well. He likes comic books, he cheats at board games, and he wants more than anything to be human again. So, when he wakes up one morning with no memory of the fact that he’s a demon, she figures there’s no reason to remind him just yet. He deserves some time to just enjoy being Dipper, and not have to be Alcor.

Unfortunately, she can’t hide Dipper from the demon forever.

Chapter 2: Trouble in Paradise (link to chapter 1)

Special thanks again to @toothpastecanyon​ for beta reading and being super cool!

(See the most updated version on AO3!)

===

“Dipper! Belle! Dinner!”

Belle, jumping around in her room and jamming to Evaporate the Dancefloor by &ndra, pulled out her earbuds. “Is someone calling me?” she yelled.

“Yes, I said it’s dinner time!” Lionel called back.

“Oh. Coming!” She dashed out of the room, ran down the stairs, and took a seat at the table. A plate of spaghetti sat before her. Belle eyed it, frowning.

“Something wrong?”

Belle balanced her chin on her fist. “Dad, what was your artistic intent with this dinner? I love the direction, but, I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it, yknow? It just doesn’t speak to me.”

Lionel gave her a thin smile. “My intent was to make sure you don’t starve.”

“Oh, I’m starving alright. I’m emotionally starved!” She leaned back in her chair, resting the back of her hand on her forehead dramatically. “This might be good enough for you and Dipper, but I need a dinner that makes me think!”

“If you don’t like this, you can make an emotionally stimulating dinner for the three of us tomorrow night. Speaking of which, have you seen your brother? His dinner is going to get cold.”

“I’m here,” Dipper said, shuffling into the room. He took his usual seat at the table -- next to Belle -- and his whole body seemed to droop. Belle raised an eyebrow. She glanced at her dad, who seemed to be having the same reaction

The three of them were silent for a minute, and then Lionel coughed. “So, how was school, you two?”

Belle leaned over the table, putting her weight onto her palms. “It was great! Mindy and I presented our history project and Mrs. Riviera seemed to like it! I personally think bedazzling the poster board is what put us over the top -- Mindy says it was the extra detail we put into finding primary sources about gnomes instead of relying on Wikipedia, but I guess we just think differently!” She slid back into her seat, a satisfied grin on her face.

“Good job. I know you worked hard on that project.” He turned to Dipper, and his smile faded a bit. “Dipper? How about you?”

Dipper poked sullenly at his spaghetti with a fork. “It was okay.”

Belle bopped him on the shoulder. “Come on, you big nerd, you like school too much to not have anything to say about it.”

He shrugged, and swirled a noodle around his fork.

“Didn’t you have a test today?” Lionel asked. “How’d that go?”

Dipper jerked upright, looking like a deer in headlights. “Oh… y-yeah,” he stuttered. “It, uh. It didn’t go so well.”

Belle put down her fork and tilted her head. “Why not?”

“I don’t know, it was weird.” He started fiddling with his fork, trying to avoid making eye contact with either of them. “I thought it’d be a piece of cake, but then I got there and I didn’t know any of the answers. I don’t know why -- I thought I knew this stuff, but it’s just... gone or something.”

“Aw, that’s okay, my bromide! It’s not, haha, it’s not like you’re supposed to know everything!”

“That’s the thing -- for some dumb reason, I didn’t even study! I thought I’d just know.” He turned to Lionel, and shrank back into his seat under his father’s gaze. “Sorry dad… I know I’m supposed to do better than that.”

“It’s alright,” Lionel responded. Dipper picked his head up again, looking even more confused than before. “It’s great that this matters to you, but everyone makes mistakes.”

“I, uh… I just failed a test. Aren’t you mad at me?”

“No….?” Lionel trailed off as Belle furiously tried to signal him to stop, change lanes, take an immediate U-turn, stat! Unfortunately, none of that meaning seemed to be getting communicated to him. He furrowed his brow in confusion, cueing Dipper to look at her too, and so she stopped.

“Anyway,” he continued, “it’s not the end of the world if you don’t know everything. I’m sure it’ll be back by next time.”

Belle bolted out of her seat, jostling the table and spilling some pasta sauce onto her skirt. “Hey dad! Can I talk to you alone for a moment?”

“We’re in the middle of dinner. Can it wait?”

“I guess so,” she responded through clenched teeth.

She sat back down and stared at her plate, trying to ignore the suspicious glances Dipper kept sending her way. He seemed confused enough at her outburst to have stopped asking questions for the minute, and Lionel must’ve taken some amount of the hint as he didn’t try to restart the conversation, so the three of them ate their spaghetti in mostly silence.

It felt wrong -- Dipper usually had some wild conspiracy theory he had been investigating and couldn’t wait to talk to literally anyone about, so he’d regale them at the dinner table while Belle provided comic relief and Lionel watched his kids with amusement and pride. That had been before Gravity Falls; they still had interesting dinner conversations after Dipper found out that he was Alcor in disguise, but they were of a different calibre, because conspiracy theories no longer tickled his interest when he had infinite knowledge. For now, he was basically human, and he should be getting to enjoy the mystery of unsolvable conspiracy theories again, but instead there was silence and Belle felt the pit in her stomach grow and grow.

This wasn’t good, but it was fixable. After dinner, Dipper went to the bathroom and she cornered her dad to remind him that he couldn’t talk about demon stuff around Dipper. When he got out of the bathroom, she pulled him into the TV room and put on Pony Magic Academy, but left the remote near him so he could quickly snatch it up, change it to something else, and forget his suspicions amidst a sibling squabble. It was the tried and true art of distraction, and it seemed to work, but the heavy feeling in Belle’s stomach just got worse as she thought about how easily she was manipulating him.

It’s okay to be protective of him, she thought, as he put on Ghost Hunters and glued himself to the screen.

It’s for his own good, she thought, as they went upstairs and listened to his favorite top 40 hits.

He’s happier not knowing, she thought, as she got into bed and bid her twin goodnight.

I’m doing the right thing, she thought, as she closed her eyes and wandered off to dreamless sleep

---

Belle poked at the food on her lunch tray. It kind of wobbled in response, which was weird because the lunch room had advertised it as “Chicken Soup”. The quality of food in the cafeteria wasn’t usually incredible, but this was something else.

She looked up as Dipper dropped his tray across the table from her and sat down. The gelatinous cube on his tray was reddish-brown instead of green -- he must’ve gotten “Meatloaf”.

“Well, this sucks,” he said. Belle was rather inclined to agree with him. “Do you have any of that rainbow sparkle sugar glitter you always carry around?”

Her eyes lit up. Dipper never usually agreed to letting her put candy sparkles on his food, citing the fact that it “wasn’t technically food” and “had that FDA-banned type of denser sugar that was way more potent than normal sugar”.

“Do I!” she squealed. She fished around in her backpack, and her expression fell. “No I do not.”

They both sighed. He speared a piece of jelly with his fork and looked at it wistfully. “If I die eating this, you’ll tell dad I love him?”

“Only if you come back as a ghost and do the same for me.”

“Yeah, right. If I become a ghost, it better be for a much cooler reason than that. Like… to take revenge on whoever killed me, or maybe ooh to play pranks on hotel guests. You know how they always do that, in the movies? Imagine just pranking rich people in hotels for eternity.”

He laughed, and Belle’s stomach did a somersault. “Yeah but you wouldn’t want to be a ghost, right?”

“If you’re asking whether I want lethal cafeteria food poisoning, the answer is no.”

“No… yknow…” Her eyes shifted nervously. “If- WHEN you die, would you want to be a ghost?”

He seemed to consider it for a few minutes. “I’d say probably not,” he responded finally. “From what I’ve read about ghosts, they’re kind of obsessed with whatever their reason for becoming a ghost is. I’m not really the obsessive type, so I wouldn’t want to get stuck obsessing over something until some ghost hunter puts me out of my misery.”

Belle screwed her face up, torn between relief at the reassurance that she was doing the right thing by keeping Dipper in the dark about his true nature, and amusement at the idea that Dipper wasn’t an obsessive nerd. She settled on a smile, but then the picture wandered into her mind of a demon obsessed with tracking down reincarnations of his human sister, and the smile melted away.

“Hey!” A cheery voice broke into Belle’s thoughts. She looked up to see Onika holding a gold encrusted lunch tray. “Mind if I sit with you two?”

“Sure thing!” Belle trilled. “What’s up?”

“Oh, everything’s great. There was a test in the spells class I’m in and I aced it with flying colors! Literally, the test was to create a rainbow. Most of the class only succeeded in making it rain hair bows. Hey…” She elbowed Belle, and pointed at Dipper. “Why’s Mr. Reality Bender giving me the stink eye right now?”

“Hey Onika, I have to go the bathroom!” Belle babbled, shooting to her feet before Dipper could even open his mouth.

“Okay… good for you…”

“Yeah, but uh, girls always go together, so come on!”

She hooked her arm around Onika’s and dragged her away from the table, leaving behind a very confused looking Dipper.

“What’s going on, Sterling?” Onika asked when they got to the bathroom. “Spill.”

“Don’t mention any demon stuff!” Belle hissed. “He doesn’t remember that he’s Alcor!”

“What? How does he forget something like that?”

Belle rubbed her temples, frustrated that no one seemed to immediately understand the genius behind her madness. “His body’s glitching or something, his memory will come back soon, but I want to hold that off as long as I can because look at how happy being human makes him!”

Onika looked nonplussed. “He seems kinda pissed, if you ask me.”

“Yeah, but he’s always like that! I know he’s happier this way -- he told me when he had his memories that he wishes he could just have a normal, human life, and not have to know what he really is. Now he gets to, at least for a little while!”

“Okay.... that sort of makes sense…” Onika replied, with the air of someone who did not think it made any sense at all, “but if he doesn’t remember that he’s not human, why would he be happy that he doesn’t remember that he’s not human?”

Belle stared at her, opening and closing her mouth several times, gears in her head grinding against the grain to try to fight off a series of thoughts she didn’t want to be having. First dad, and now Onika? Did no one care about Dipper’s happiness other than her?

A sly smile crept onto Onika’s face at the lack of response, and Belle pouted. “He just is, okay? It’s deep inside of him or whatever, I don’t know.”

“Alright, you’re the boss. I’ll just pretend your brother is a normal human that I’m allowed to have a crush on again.” Belle’s jaw dropped, and Onika laughed. “Kidding! I’m kidding. Can we go back to the table now? I’m done not-peeing.”

Dipper had the same annoyed look on his face when they got back. It looked like he’d hardly touched his food in the meantime, and was practically following her eyes as she sat down.

She giggled nervously. “How’s it going, bro-bro?”

“Not bad,” he said slowly. “Having a great lunch over here by myself. How was the bathroom?”

“What? Oh yeah, so much fun. You know me, I love a good bathroom!”

Onika looked back and forth between them. “Hey, is this a weird conversation or is it just me?”

“No, everything’s fine!” Belle replied at the same time as Dipper said “No, it’s weird.” The two of them locked eyes for a moment, and Belle broke into a big, saccharine smile. Dipper rolled his eyes, and went back to his food.

Onika whistled. “Wow, having a sibling the same age as you must be exhausting. Good thing my sister’s 24. Anyway, the reason I came over was to ask if you two are doing anything for Halloween next week. My parents are throwing a party -- it’ll be very fancy and a downright bore, but maybe you’d want to come and keep me company.”

Belle clapped excitedly. “That sounds fun! I bet none of the fancy pantses are gonna use your antigravity pool -- we could take a swim!”

Dipper seemed to sink into his seat, and continued to spoon coagulated meatstuff into his mouth. Belle snapped a finger in front of his face. “Hey! Dipper! Did you hear Onika? Wanna go air swimming on Halloween?”

He shrugged. “That sounds fun, but… it’s Halloween, shouldn’t we be out getting lost in the woods or hunting ghosts?”

Oh yeah. Alcor could fly whenever he wanted. They should spend Halloween doing stuff that a demon wouldn’t enjoy in the same way a human would. She glanced at Onika, who hopefully had come to the same conclusion.

“Hunting ghosts definitely sounds better than a fancy dress party,” Onika said. “Well, I at least figured I’d ask. See you two later!” With that, she got up from the table, dropped her tray in the garbage, and strutted majestically out of the room.

Belle whistled. “She’s really something, isn’t she?” She smiled to herself, and then turned back to her brother, who had somehow sunk even further and was at risk of falling out of his seat altogether. “Hey, what’s going on down there?”

“Nothing.”

“I’ll say, cause it looks like you’ve forgotten how gravity works!”

She grabbed his arm and tried pulling him back into his seat, which he obliged to with a large groan. He slumped over, cheek pressed into the table, not caring about the scraps of unknown food he was lying on. Belle prodded him in the forehead a few times, and then cocked her head.

“Well, I guess my brother is broken! I’ll have to find a new one! Seriously, what’s up?”

He sighed. “Okay, it’s just… embarrassing, so don’t make fun of me okay?”

“Definitely not, and that’s a Belle promise!” She mimed zipping her lips and throwing away the key. For some reason, that made him flinch.

“Okay. I’m just tired of only hanging out with your friends. Don’t get me wrong, Onika’s great, but it’d be nice if I had some friends of my own.”

Belle slapped herself in the forehead. “Ohhhhhh, duh! How could I be so delightfully naive? Yeah, you should make some friends! I can help you! I’ll give you tips!”

“You’re weirdly enthusiastic about this,” he said, picking himself up. He grimaced at the sticky patch that his shirt had received from lying on the table. “Thanks, though. Twins?”

Belle beamed and fist-bumped him. “Twins!”

The bell chose that moment to ring, and the room was filled with clattering as people scrambled from their seats. “Oh, heck-a-poo, we’re gonna be late for gym class!” Belle babbled, jumping up.

“Maybe later we’ll figure out some Halloween plans?” Dipper asked, after they’d emptied their trays and were heading out of the room. “If I’ve got new friends by then, we can -”

He was cut off by a carton of milk colliding with his face and exploding. He stumbled, eyes closed and sputtering, and Belle gasped.

“Hah, nerd!” chortled a voice in the crowd of people streaming from the room.

“Are you alright?” Belle asked, pulling him aside. At that moment, the bell rang again, and Dipper’s eyes sprang open in panic.

“Crap, we’re going to be tardy!” he yelped. He grabbed Belle’s arm and ran down the hall to his locker.

“Bro-bro, you’ve got milk on your face.”

“It’s fine! I’ll clean it off in the locker room! If I could only find my gym clothes… argh!” He rummaged through his locker, pulling notebooks and binders out and tossing them aside. “Crap, crap, crap, where are they? I’ll get in trouble if I don’t have them!” He slammed the door shut, and slid down the face of it until he reached the floor.

“It’ll be alright, we’ll just tell Mr. Plinker that you left them at home…”

“No, you don’t understand! This always happens!” His fists were clenched and his face was starting to turn red. “Someone stole them, I know it!”

“What? This always happens?”

“Yeah, some jerks are always stealing my gym clothes and hiding them in toilets, the dumpster, whatever!”

“I, uh…” Belle started to feel like her mind was caught in a taffy puller. “Always? Even… last week?”

“Yes, always, since the start of the year! I’m sick of it, it’s so stupid! I wish I just magically knew where everything was without looking for it!”

He slammed his fist into the locker next to him, and the sound rang abnormally loudly through the suddenly empty hall. Belle opened her mouth to respond, but faltered when she noticed the goop on his face, the icky lumps of dairy left behind as the milk he had been splashed with mysteriously curdled on his skin.

She bit back a gasp -- this didn’t have to be a demonic powers thing, he might have just assumed that the milk was spoiled in the carton, or maybe he hadn’t even noticed because of how angry he was. Now wasn’t the time for her to be planning her next lie (and oh how she wished that wasn’t something she was seriously setting aside time for now). She grabbed his arm and helped him to his feet. He grumbled some fashion of thanks, and she walked him over to the boys bathroom so he could wash his face off. She offered to go in with him, but for some reason he wasn’t quite comfortable with that.

So, she was left waiting for him in the hall (she was already late for gym class, so she might as well be as late as him), and it was there that the soup of unwanted thoughts in her head started to curdle too. He’d said that people had been stealing his gym clothes since the beginning of the year, which meant that it’d been happening even when he knew he was Alcor. He definitely could’ve gotten them to stop with his powers, so he must’ve been letting it happen.

But why? Was it because he didn’t want to blow his cover and reveal his true nature? Or… did he actually like being bullied, because it felt like the other students were treating him just like any other teenager? But Dipper without his memories was clearly really upset at being bullied, just like he had been before Gravity Falls. And that led Belle to the thought that she’d been stomping her foot down on more times than she’d like since this whole memories thing began: was Dipper actually happier with his memories than without?

She was still dwelling on it when he came out of the bathroom, face a little less red and all traces of milk gone. He grumbled some more at her, but she barely parsed it, so distracted she was by the way her mind was turning itself over and over again.

It’s okay to be protective of him, she thought, as they walked down the hall to the gymnasium.

It’s for his own good, she thought, as Mr. Plinker yelled at him for losing his gym clothes.

He’s happier not knowing, she thought, to block out the snickering when the two of them walked by a crowd of students on the bleachers.

I’m doing the right thing, she thought, and she felt worse and worse with every passing rationalization until she found herself wishing that this entire thing was just a bad dream from which she’d soon awake.

(AO3 link)

[dib-shit]

Zim Takes a Fuckin’ Nap

Word count: 2.9k

Pairings implied: ZaSr, TaTr (very subtle), DaGrr (Dib x Gretchen). All can be seen as platonic too.

Warnings: Quite a bit of swearing but nothing derogatory, and a quick reference to furries, courtesy of Skoodge’s fashion taste.

Characters: Zim, Skoodge, Dib, Gaz, Tak, Gretchen, and Gir

Synopsis: Zim’s feeling pretty out of it, huh? Maybe he needs sleep. Wait, Irkens don’t sleep, do they? 

A/N: I originally started this while at the DMV waiting to get my first ID. It’s way longer than it should be, especially since I only wrote it so that Zim could say one thing. Anyway, hope you like it I guess. It’s my first fanfic I’ve ever published, even if it’s a shitpost so here goes nothing. Criticisms welcome if you have ‘em! 

_________________________________________

Five years. It’s been five years since Zim came to this hell hole of a planet. Five years since Zim began his never-ending attempts to hold this planet in his grasp. Five years since Zim met his absolute worst enemy. Four years since Zim discovered he was living with his best friend. Three years since his best friend attended Skool with Zim. Two years since Tak came back to Earth. One year since Zim’s worst enemy became his worst friend… one year since Zim discovered the truth about his mission.

Zim, Skoodge, Tak, and Dib were all attending the same shit hole Skool in their Junior year. One more year after this and none of them would ever have to bother with this nonsense again. Except for Dib. Apparently, he has plans for more education after what was legally required. Zim didn’t get this. The Dib was already a moron, there was no fixing that.

Zim also didn’t understand why Tak was even bothering on coming. She even completes every assignment with flying colors. What was the point? Irkens already had their education jammed into their PAKs moments after hatching. Unknown to Zim, Tak was actually trying to distract herself with skoolwork from something that was eating away at her from the inside. But that’s a whole other story.

Zim groaned as the History teacher droned on about whatever it was he talked about. Dib had shown him in the past that human history isn’t as boring as it seems, it’s just that the education system cuts out a lot of the interesting and sometimes crucial information. So far the only thing Zim gathered from this class on “U.S. History” was that a particular breed of humans were the absolute worst of all of them. These humans had a history of taking whatever the hell they wanted from others, and then ruining those other lives as they go. Dib says that these people, which seems to be the perspective the shitty, sugarcoated textbook is going off of, are “White People”.

Zim placed his chin on his desk as the lesson drove on. He stared at the board until the words didn’t look like words anymore. His eyelids began to feel heavy for some reason. He closed his eyes. His mind seemed to fade away when suddenly he snapped back to reality. Oop there goes gravity. He jerked so hard he nearly fell off his seat. Some of the students gave him puzzled looks, but most of them have gotten used to Zim’s bullshittery.

What the FUCK was that!?!?? He thought. It felt like his body was trying to shut down or some shit. He continued to struggle with this until class let out. Fortunately, it was the last period so he quickly began his trail to the base.

As he walked, he heard footsteps coming behind him, sounding short and out of breath. Skoodge ran up behind him, having to run quite a bit to catch up to him.

“What the hell took you so long?!” He asked. Skoodge, catching his breath, answered. “Got held up with the really large muscle kid. He doesn’t like me for whatever reason”

“Did you blow him up? I would have blown him up.”

“Well no… that would cause a lot of problems. Also, that’s illegal Zim… remember what we said about trying to be normal citizens?”

“No. YOU said that. I would never agree to stupid laws.”

“I know.” Skoodge sighed.

Skoodge had actually grown fond of the Planet. It was frustrating how dumb these humans were sometimes, but life was simpler. Nicer. Not only that but the fashion in the thrift stores were perfect for Skoodge. It was all he ever wore. At the moment he was wearing a pair of very bright surf shorts, along with a shirt that said “I love chubby furries” He had no idea what that meant, he just liked the picture of the fat dog person on it. It was possible that this was the reason he got stopped by Chunk after school.

They reached the neon green house and walked inside to be greeted by a rocket zooming straight into Zim’s gut, knocking him onto the floor. The robot stood up, hugged Skoodge, and then sat on the couch in a very calm manner. Zim was able to get back onto his feet, glared at the robot for a bit as Skoodge giggled a bit, and then removed his contacts and wig. Skoodge soon followed after and they sat on the couch together to watch whatever cursed programming the robot was watching.

“How did class go for you?” Skoodge asked him.

“eh.” Zim shrugged.

There was a moment of silence, then he spoke again.

“I’ve been having trouble keeping my eyes open lately. I think I got poisoned by that demon Moose we dealt with a few days ago.” Zim said.

“Uh… what do you mean keeping your eyes open? You just… keep them open??” Skoodge said with concern in his voice.

Any further questioning would only get grunts from Zim. Skoodge then turned to him and saw that Zim’s eyes were closed, and he seemed unconscious.

“ZIM?!?” Skoodge yelled.

Zim jolted back into consciousness and screamed back “WHAT!?”

“You did the thing!”

“What thing?!?”

“You know the… oh never mind.”

Zim probably would have fallen out of consciousness again had Dib not called Zim’s phone. How Zim had a cellphone plan is beyond me but whatever.

“Hey is Skoodge there with you?” Dib asked.

“Yeh.”

“You two wanna come over or whatever? Tak came to hang out with Gaz, and Gretchen’s family stayed home for sabbath so she’s coming over too. I don’t know, it could help us bond better or whatever”

Skoodge, listening in, started nodding his head. He was actually good friends with Gretchen. He hung out with her at the library even before she got the courage to start talking to Dib again. That, and he actually got along with pretty much everyone.

Zim made a face similar to a scrunched up sea sponge, but told Dib they would come over.

“Also, please don’t bring Gir guys. There’s still damage in the walls from last time.” Dib then said goodbye and hung up.

Zim groaned and slowly slid himself off the couch, onto the floor, and then stood up. Skoodge went to the cabinet, grabbed a bunch of candy and snacks, and said he was ready to go. After arguing about whether to share their snacks with the others, and Skoodge somehow winning the argument (thanks to Gir screaming in his defense), they headed out to the human’s household.

…

Zim seemed to forget about the weird shutdowns while he was busy trying to beat Dib’s ass in Smash Bros. Zim refused to stick with one character so he had to readjust to the move sets almost every round, which really didn’t help his goal. It also didn’t help that they were also playing against Gaz, who made it very hard to survive more than a minute. After many rounds of various video games between the group, they finally decided to settle down with a Movie and then sleep over. It wasn’t like Professor Membrane would give a shit, he was never home.

The other two times they did this, the Irkens in the group would either just stay up playing more games and watching movies, or they would leave. The species wasn’t known to sleep. They are able, but there was no need. Dib compared it to the gems in Steven Universe. Zim would agree but first, he would have to admit that he watches the show along with Skoodge.

This time was going to be different.

The pull of unconsciousness was tugging at Zim again. Throughout the movie, he tried to combat it by jerking his body suddenly as to re-alert himself. Occasionally he would yell out, which quickly got on the others’ nerves.

“Zim what the fuck is your problem?!” Gaz eventually asked, although she didn’t care that much, she just wanted him to shut up.

“WELL WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!” Zim screeched back at her, which he immediately regretted upon seeing Gaz’s reaction.

Before any damage could be done, Tak preemptively held Gaz’s arm back, knowing pissing Zim off would only result in a shit-fest. Dib, having previously been obsessed with Zim’s every move when they were enemies, somehow did not notice his rival was a bit off until now.

Avoiding any more interaction with Zim and risking another blowup, Dib asked Skoodge to join him in the kitchen and asked the short Irken what was going on.

“You mean the yelling? Dib, you should know that’s normal for him” Skoodge stated matter-of-factly. Dib stared at him for a second before responding.

“N-… No Skoodge, I mean the other thing… and wh- what the fuck are you wearing?”

“What, my shirt? Why?” Skoodge asked. 

Dib looked like he was somehow holding a stroke.

“… Nevermind. Back to the issue at hand. It looks almost like he’s… falling asleep or something?? Did Zim eat something bad or??…” Dib trailed off, not really sure how he was going to finish that sentence.

“Falling… asleep? I never really considered that. But we don’t sleep, our PAKs sorta recharge as they go.” Skoodge said.

Dib sighed. “I know. you guys have explained this multiple times, but what if something happened and now-” Dib stopped for a moment. Something clicked in his head. His eyes widened.

“Skoodge… how much does Zim remember the demon moose incident?”

“I don’t know… he knows it happened and he knows it did something to him” Skoodge responded.

“The kick. The moose kicked him and it hit his PAK… Zim’s PAK must’ve gotten damaged. I bet that’s what’s happening.” Dib told him.

“What???” Skoodge was confused.

“The demon moose fucked up Zim’s PAK so now he doesn’t recharge very well. That’s why he’s so tired. He needs sleep.” Dib explained. He was also beginning to realize what was going to have to come next.

They needed to get Zim to go to sleep. It was going to be hard, but the little shit needed a nap. It was going to be like trying to put a gremlin to sleep.

The movie was over. Zim had passed out again. Dib gathered everyone else in the kitchen and explained what was going on.

“Why can’t we just leave him there?” Gaz said.

“Because he’s going to wake up again and try to avoid going to sleep. He needs to know what’s going on so he can get proper rest.” Skoodge responded. It’s an absolute mystery how Zim was able to get by at all without him for some time.

“We could always tase him and just throw a blanket on him.” Tak proposed. She still had some bitterness towards him for ruining her life plans.

“We’re not doing that Tak,” Skoodge stated.

Gretchen spoke up, “Why don’t we just… tell Zim? Explain to him, and then help him get to sleep?”

The others stared at her for a moment, unwilling to admit they were overthinking this a little. It couldn’t be that hard, could it? They were about to get an answer.

Waking up Zim was a mistake. Naturally, he screamed and ended up slapping Dib as a “reflex” although he had to turn around and reach for Dib and Skoodge was the one that actually shook him awake. Skoodge tried to start his explanation but Zim was NOT having it. He got enough bullshit already about being a “defective” so another layer on top of that, to have a PAK that needed him to sleep every now and then, that did not sound fun.

“Zim, listen, it’s okay. You just need to let yourself sleep. you’re already doing it bit by bit but you need to fall all the way.” Skoodge told his friend.

“Yeah, but not on our couch,” Gaz added.

“I can get a sleeping bag. Skoodge is welcome to stay too. I know Tak already is ‘cuz she’s got some project she’s working on with Gaz or something.” Dib said, before leaving the room. When he got the sleeping bag, he decided to grab another for Skoodge… maybe he could try sleeping too? It would be awkward just sitting there all night, and he knew the two of them enough that if Zim was doing something that involved letting his guard down, there was no way Skoodge was leaving his side. Dib would have liked it better if this was done at their base and not in his living room but with Gir there, it probably wouldn’t work out very well.

By the time Dib returned, Gaz and Tak were in the backyard working on Tak’s ship (which Dib had reluctantly returned to her). He could hear faint static from the communicator again. Tak must still be trying to connect to whoever she’s looking for on Meekrob again. Gretchen was sitting on the couch looking at memes on her phone. Skoodge was sitting by Zim on the other side of the couch, still trying to coax him into sleeping, with Zim still refusing.

“Zim isn’t budging… but Skoodge is getting somewhere I think.” Gretchen updated Dib. “By the way, Gaz agreed to let me sleep in her room since the living room will be occupied, and your room would be a little awkward.” Suddenly she remembered that she had to text Keef… her parents thought she was staying at his house for the night, not the Membranes’. As she got up to talk on the phone in private in another room, Dib took her place on the couch.

Dib unrolled both sleeping bags, then stood there awkwardly watching Zim and Skoodge argue. There was no way Zim was going to agree to this with their current tactic. So he proposed to them his earlier idea of Skoodge also sleeping, hoping that would make Zim more comfortable. Upon hearing this, Zim was silent for a bit, looked at Skoodge, then Dib, back to Skoodge, then the floor.

“Wait… Gir!” Zim finally spoke.

“Don’t change the subject dude, you need to fucking sleep!! Gir is fine!” Dib yelled at him.

Just then there was a loud single knock on the door. But really it sounded like someone crashed into the door, followed by multiple little knocks.

“Who could that be knockin’ at my door?!” Dib said in a song-like tune, but also nervous because it was like, 2 in the morning. Seriously who the hell…

“Go away. Don’t come here no more…” Dib finished the lyric under his breath as he answered.

Dib was greeted by a small green dog who looked up at him silently, called Dib a bitch, then walked inside. Dib didn’t even react… by this point he was used to this sort of thing.

“GIR, NO SWEaRiNg!!!” Zim yelled as Dib shut the door behind the robot.

The commotion brought Gretchen back into the room. She took one look at Gir and already picked up on what was going on. Wherever Zim and Gir are together, screaming is sure to follow. She walked over to the little robot to pat his head and scooped him up like a baby.

“What are you doing here Gir? We told you to stay at home.” Skoodge asked, hoping this wasn’t going to make the argument with Zim more difficult.

Gir gave puppy dog eyes more than he normally did, ears drooping and everything. “The pig left… and I was looooonely,” Gir replied with tears in his voice, then suddenly perked up and happily said, “SO I cAMe HERE!!!.”

“Hey Gir, do want to take a nap? Zim is going to try to sleep.” Gretchen calmly told him, still carrying him like a toddler on her hip.

“Yeah!! Sleepytime!! I’ll help get Zim to sleep!” Gir then pulled out a hammer and held it up like he was going to hit Zim with it.

“NO NO NO NO!! GIR DON’T!!” Everyone else screamed. Gir looked at them with a smile still, as Skoodge carefully took the hammer from Gir, and set it in the kitchen. Maybe it was time to talk to him about what’s possible in cartoons… and not in real life.

“Damn, I thought Gir would be on my side… he usually hates having to rest,” Zim grumbled. Dib rolled his eyes and wondered if Zim had actually contacted Gir at some point to get him out of this.

There was a silence for a while. Skoodge looked at Zim and simply said “please… it’ll help. I promise.”

“eeeeeeUGaAAaaaaHHHHGH… FINE!! I’ll take a fuckin’ nap or whatever.” Zim loudly complied. “But only if Skoodge stays. I still don’t trust any of you.” Skoodge nodded in understanding as everyone gave a sigh of relief

God… took long enough, Dib thought. He was surprised it didn’t involve more damage to his house. Whatever. The green bastard was going to finally sleep. Wait… did he know how to sleep? Eh, he’ll figure it out, he’s basically been doing it already, he just had to let it happen.

The two Irkens got settled into the sleeping bags, and Dib tossed them some pillows. Gretchen set Gir between the bags, as he curled up and immediately passed out. They finally got comfortable, Dib turned out the lights, and Gretchen said goodnight. The two humans were about to make their way upstairs when they heard a “Hm.” from Zim.

“What is it?” Skoodge whispered.

Zim made a smirk with his eyes still closed, as he was snuggled up in the poofy sleeping bag. “I’m a warm little bitch.”

The End 

[snailcomicz]

“I can’t live without you…” for KoTOR with that one ship you love, and for a second choice... Miles from Into the Spider-Verse, “I thought you were smarter than that!”

@owldart​, listen, in fact sit down why don’t you.

You asked me to make the pair that refused to admit the fact that they liked each other out loud unless they were on the timeline where one of them was dying say something as gut wrenchingly honest as “I can’t live without you.”

The fact that I wrote over five pages of this stuff is your fault, not mine.

[I will come back and write the second prompt too, because turn about is fair play and also I wanna]

The party sure does have to spend some time fighting the hidden Sith outposts after the final war against evil with Revan... It sure would be a shame if something were to... Happen...

"GLADIOLUS!”

“Rand, don’t go back there-”

He tore through the Sith apprentices, kindness be damned, hostages be damned, even watching his own back be damned, several tons of rock and dirt had just collapsed on the only person here that was worth a damn-

“RAND!”

Because they had trusted her to hold the rockslide off, to have their backs, when the only reason he was here, the only reason Kreia had kept him around, the only reason he came on this specific mission was to watch hers-

"ATTON!”

“SHE’S ALIVE!”

“WILL SHE FIGHT OFF THESE SHUTTAS WHEN WE FIND HER?!?”

The fact she didn’t say ‘if’ was the only thing that made him turn around, snarling into the gas mask and hurling a poison grenade at his feet. The Sith apprentices impulse to flee or cover their mouths left gaps in their guard, places he and Revan took savage advantage of in their mutual desperation. Revan was all brute force, brute Force and raw muscle, shattering one of the Sith’s lightsabers through the power of her strike alone. Atton had to fight smarter, using the apprentices uncoordinated moves against each other and hurling a handy grenade when the best opportunity struck. Their mutually destructive tactics were usually tempered by the more practical strategies of the Exile.

She wasn’t tempering either of them now.

The battlefield was quiet for barely a breath before both of them whirled back around. Some distant, emotional, soft part of him had expected her to have blasted a hole in the rubble and already started treating her injuries with a medpack, ready to remind them both to take the edge off of their fighting strategies. Instead they found a wall of rock, with dirt still drifting down from it’s landing, and utter silence.

“At-”

“She can cut herself off from the Force.” He started towards the cave in, trying to figure out how to even approach this.

“Don’t touch it Ran-”

“Do I look like I’m touching it?” Explosions would be useless, too uncontrolled, it could crush her. He should have felt something by now, she should have opened back up to the Force by now. They couldn’t start at the top and burrow down, she would be at the bottom of the silt and it would take too long. He whirled back around. “Do something useful and help me! Help her!”

“Trying, Rand.” Revan stood stock still, hand barely raised, staring at the wall with that distant ‘solving a puzzle but only in my mind’ look. Her greying hair lifted away from her face slightly, and all the dirt that had started to settle started unnaturally floating back into the air. Her voice was low and tight as a crossbow string when she said, “I don’t have her precision, you’re going to have to go in and pull her out yourself.”

Then, the rocks started to shift. Barely by an inch near the top of the rock slide, and even when Revan’s powers got to the bottom of the rubble there was only a small gap, but some part of Gladiolus would have still been on the ground when the whole thing came down and it was the best shot they had. Getting to his knees and dragging himself forward with his arms, he breathed through the filter of his mask and tried to push his senses outward. It was too dark to see, even with the dim lights still on on their side of the cave in, and pushing against the rocks might break Revan’s concentration so he had to calm down and use his other ‘sense’. He squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed hard, thinking of how boring meditating was usually and who would guide him through it.

-It’s basically an extension of your gut instinct, Atton. I’m teaching you how to focus power you already have, just in ways you haven’t thought about using it.-

He pushed his senses outward, using the gut instinct concept as a crutch he hadn’t needed in some time. Danger was everywhere, pulling his at his nerves and making him grit his teeth, but where was it worse? What place scared him most? He shifted left and pulled himself forward a good few feet, not daring to open his eyes and lose his train of thought, when something streaked gritty liquid across the edge of his cheek.

“Gotcha.” He barely breathed, feeling none of the confidence his tone tried to convey. Quick exploration with his hands found her hand coming off the low ceiling, and after that finding the rest of her was easy. Revan had, by accident or on purpose, pulled Gladiolus to the temporary ceiling with the rest of the rockslide. Finally finding her belt, he also found more gritty liquid and realized it wasn’t water.

“Come on, Exile, I got you.” Tracing upwards until he found a catch in her chestplate he pulled her down slowly, waiting until her feet dragged on the ground to start pulling her in and shuffling backwards. Gravity seemed to come back to her slowly, like Revan was trying to pull her back up, but he was just strong enough to manhandle her out of the rubble before he saw the extent of the damage.

“No.”

“Rand, get back.” Revan’s horse whisper barely registered as he stared in horror. Gladiolus wasn’t just bleeding, she was bleeding heavily from multiple places.

“Rand,” Headwounds always looked bad, but the shoulder that bore the hand he brushed against looked ripped open, and her side was bleeding too. He tried to pull healing energy from the Force, silently begging it wouldn’t fail just this once, and nothing happened.

“Atton. Move. Back.” Revan hissed, ignoring the Exile’s condition, ignoring her healing duties because her healing spells worked, ignoring-

Revan was sweating, he could see that from several feet away, with her hand fully extended and shaking all over with effort. Even her breaths were clipped, and the darkened lines that appeared when she tried to push past her limits or use the Force too much-

Oh.

Only taking the time to be gentle with her shoulder he hoisted the Exile up and started forward. Moments later the entire rockslide slammed back into the ground. Revan choked, stumbling and falling backwards, but he didn’t have any time left to spare for her. Laying Gladiolus back on the ground he pulled out one of the Life Support packs and jammed it into her thigh, waiting until he heard the distinctive shift in air pressure and beep from medicine being released before opening its outer case and gathering gauze for her shoulder.

Revan had crawled close enough to see out of his periphery, dark lines still coating her cheeks and pulling at her creaselines, but as soon as she was in range she held up her hand in the healing shape and tried to draw healing light to Gladiolus’s shoulder.

“Take a breather.”

“I’m not losing her either Atton! Y-”

“I know how healing works, even if I can’t do it, Revan.” He snapped. “Just stop and recover so you can actually heal.”

Revan bared her teeth at him before quickly crossing her legs and rifling through her bag, tearing open something sealed and biting into it. Her face faltered when her eyes fell back on her friend though, and she shifted closer to put pressure on Gladiolus’ shoulder with her empty hand. “She’s, she isn’t reconnecting to the Forc-”

“She will.” Another Life Support pack, click beep gauze, wind it around the gauze already on her shoulder, he thought, the next one goes to the side wound, then head, then what’s bleeding worse, he thought, they should have brought more people, he thought. He knew he couldn’t lose her.

Revan’s healing light flared up around Gladiolus’ head, and he shifted back to put pressure on her side. “Is she breathi-”

“She will.” He didn’t dare check, not her breath or her pulse, pressing firmly on the wound in her side. Because he was a coward, a deserter, selfish beyond belief, and if she was gone not only was the rest of the universe done for, but he wouldn’t have anything left. He used up all his hope in the Mandelorian Wars, his loyalty on the figurehead the woman beside him used to be during the Jedi-Sith Wars, his luck on Pazzak, and his sheer doggedness on keeping the last person he expected to love alive. Without her support, his slowly growing empathy and healing would collapse in on itself. In her solid, unshakeable light he had changed too much from the shell of the man he used to be to go back, but not enough to hold on to any of the good he’d scraped up in himself without her.

“Please, ‘Lus.” He whispered. “I can’t do this- I can’t live without you.”

The one person, the only one of the three of them that didn’t deserve any of this, he should have gotten over himself and made sure she was breathing seven, twelve, twenty one seconds ago, damn it-

Revan slapped him on the shoulder with unregulated strength, almost bowling him over. “It’s your stupid card game!”

He thought four barely a second. “What?”

“Listen.”

He glared at her wordlessly, double checking the Exile before glancing over his shoulder-

“No, idiot.” She flicked his head with one hand, before pointing at his chest and trying to pry into his mental wall, oddly grinning when he automatically started counting cards to rebuff her. “That kind of listen.”

Tension prickled up and down his back from her intended intrusion and distrust surged back into the forefront of his mind, leaving up his mental walls and checking his tally, putting down a plus four-

He held his breath and reached out once more. He kept counting his cards, hoping that she would respond with her own play, that Revan was saying what he thought she was saying, he hadn’t imagined Fourteen

Reaching out for Gladiolus in the Force most of the time was like trying to find a massive searchlight in the middle of the day, where yes, other light and connections were everywhere, but it was always blindingly obvious where she was. During the rare times she cut herself off from the Force, reaching out for her was like looking for a specific light that wasn’t turning on a navigational console, scrambling for something that should be there but wasn’t even if you knew it would turn back on eventually. In this moment, when he faintly felt her for the first time, it was like trying to find a shorting flashlight beam in a fully illuminated room.

But she was there, barely flashing out numbers without any of the addition or colors the two of them normally conveyed when they had to play this mental game. Wetness gathered along the edges of his eyes when he felt the barest hint of satisfaction at twenty and realized she really was going to be alright. 

Revan switched which hand was putting pressure on Gladiolus’ shoulder and held her other hand out, healing light surging back stronger than before and finally stemming the bleeding on her forehead. “I can’t believe you. Minutes after getting crushed, you regain consciousness and you’re inspiring us instead of healing yourself?!?”

The almost hysterical note in Revan’s voice matches the deep seated twist in his gut, with them both feeling that sickening terror of too close, too close hanging in the air. But even when Gladiolus’ lost consciousness again and her numbers faded back out her light didn’t, barely there but there where he can reach her.

[virtuesmh]

Adlock Songfic - Sweater Weather

All I am is a man

I want the world in my hands

As always, Sherlock Holmes' mind was restless. Even in the midst of 'vacation', it was urgent to keep his thoughts flowing, mostly by using strangers around him as experiment objects. He wouldn't want a jam in the machine inside his head, would he?

I hate the beach

But I stand in California with my toes in the sand

Unlike London's chilly weather, California's weather surprised his body's axiom. Then, his eyes stung in the bright sun, a horrible tan had colored his pale skin, from arms, torso, to legs. He clenched a handful of sand and watched it fall tediously through the gaps between his fingers.

Use the sleeves of my sweater

Let's have an adventure

He had heard the last sentence and it successfully hooked him across the world. Meaningless words, yet when spoken by a particular person, turned into an effective charm.

Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered

Touch my neck and I'll touch yours

You in those little high-waist shorts

Before his head could wander further, a sudden pressure weighted his thigh. Sherlock opened his eyes, revealing Irene Adler herself, seated beside him, one hand on him and the other holding a glass of Moscow Mule on rocks.

A slight smile slipped into his lips, mirroring hers. 

"Didn't bother getting me one?" He asked.

She knows what I think about

And what I think about

"This is yours, dear," She replied, a tad melodious, "I finished mine when you're . . daydreaming."

Sherlock snickered under his breath. His observation frenzy immediately stopped, a more effective focus-gatherer had come. His fast deductions and crippling anxiety would perish in the presence of its queen. His fingers were still wrapped around the cold glass as he glanced to Irene, who had her eyes on the mouthful ocean waves.

Before his mind could tell him what to do, a forcing need pulled him closer to her. Irene turned behind and froze bewildered, yet she didn't move an inch nor looked away. Before their skin could make the slightest brush, Sherlock breathed in sharply and pulled away. Stern and harshness had returned to its place as he gulped the pleasurable beverage down his throat, sending relief to his dried lips and thirst. Yet, it didn't, and nothing ever did answer his questions about the woman and their confusing, out-of-the-world reverie.

One love, two mouths

Then, the sandy beaches, blue oceans and limitless horizon turned into a different sphere.

The bright sun was hidden behind thick, moody clouds. Cold breeze rushed up their spines, signing an imminent winter.

Sherlock shrugged his coat tighter as he left his hotel room. He rushed out of the elevator towards the lobby and stuck his hand out to hail a cab.

Along the ride, Sherlock's heart thumped unfamiliarly. Luckily, the side of city wasn't too crowded as no traffic jam occured, the opposite of London's bright, red lights. 

Vast buildings changed into narrower ones, and gradually into green trees and meadows. Orange and pink clashed into the skies' soft blue as the sun slowly dropped low. An almost impossible giddiness rose within Sherlock as a familiar entrance came into hindsight.

The cab drifted right and dropped the detective off in the concrete pavement. Sherlock went on with his walk.

He paced on a stone path, leading to a well-remembered destination, the last lodge on the rows of residences, just by the lake. 

One love, one house

Soon, he arrived. He halted just by the doorstep and wrapped his fingers around the doorknob tightly. With the other hand, he gave two gentle knocks before entering.

By reflex, he took off his shoes, remembering the last time he didn't, the woman wasn't too pleased. His coat was hung by the door and he was already sprawled on the long couch.

"Hullo!" A voice called from the kitchen.

A grin made its ghostly way into Sherlock's lips as Irene strolled from the kitchen, her long, raven hair tousled in a bun with a few strands falling messily. 

An appealing aroma filled in the air and Irene stood silent, while Sherlock knew exactly what she wanted to hear.

"Smells brilliant. I expect it will be a wonderful new year's dinner with-" He breathed deeply, his eyes gleaming in thoughts, "Shrimp scampi with pasta, fried Serrano ham along with fried olive, and-"

He inhaled sharply once more, though this time, he was absolutely uncalled for. In realization, the smile on his lips grew wider and he clapped his hands together.

"Bless cinnamon buns!" He laughed, "How did you even know?"

"Says the man who never accepts complementary food, except anything related to it," Irene said pleasantly, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"I have flaws, woman," Sherlock said, lowering his tone on a particular word.

"I got you another book," he added.

Sherlock pulled a thick novel from his clasp and put it on a drawer on his left.

"Thank you, dear," Irene shortly said before disappearing into the bathroom.   

With that, Sherlock was left in silence. It gave him no other choice but to wander in the depths of his mind. Invisible information was being presented in an unfathomable speed, hands rested in a prayer, eyes flickering behind shut lids.

No shirt, no blouse

Suddenly, a creak awakened his consciousness. His eyes gradually opened as the water tap stopped running, the bathroom door was slowly opened, steam-coated glass revealed the woman herself, putting on a show through a simple walk to her bedroom. Soon, she stepped out and joined him in the living room. Her wet hair was wrapped with towel and her toned body was hugged a silk purple nightgown.

The points of his lips quirked into a smirk as she sat beside him, legs resting on his lap.

"You don't mind, do you?" She said as she undid the towel wrapped on her wavy, raven hair.

"Oh, I insist."

A fit of chuckle went out from Irene's lips,

"Mr Holmes, you are terrible in disguising sentiment."

Just us, you find out

Sherlock's eyebrows rose to his hairline and a frown formed on his expressionless face,

"I've often been informed I don't feel any."

"But we both know it's not quite true, isn't it?"

"How would we know?" He said with a low hiss, emphasizing the rare use of we.

"Look at where you are now and your decisions for the past two years, look around and make a deduction!" She said, her tone rising in every word. Her thin, rosy lips were shut tightly, the insides bitten hardly, probably wounded and bleeding by then.

Sherlock's heart sunk as he noticed a different glint behind her eyes and a strange tremor racing down her fingers. A familiar yet unknown feeling started filling his chest, disheveling his breathing and pulse.

Irene closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. She fixed her posture and regained control of herself. Bravery, accompanied with a hidden timidness brought back her reserve; a puzzle Sherlock Holmes had never been able to solve.

Nothing that wouldn't wanna tell you about, no

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Why do you stay, Sherlock?"

Irene crossed her legs with her arms stretched around them. Sherlock noticed the sudden defensive shift, only making his thoughts run faster and harder to comprehend.

"You need protection from . . past vices."

"I can protect myself," She said with pride, thick in her tone.

"I know."

"Then why?"

"I-"

His lips parted to speak, yet for once, he was baffled. The rocketing atoms inside his head turned out to be fear of the unsolved, for his head was speechless and empty in such dire situation. His breath hitched and became sharper, as if his lungs were overrun by poisonous emotions, taking over the throne of himself.

"I won't leave," Irene suddenly said. Sherlock snapped his head to her, gazing confusedly.

"I won't leave, even when your reason isn't the same as mine."

A weak smile entered her face. She rose from her seat and walked towards the kitchen. Her muscles stiffened as they struggled to walk away. Her fingers clawed against one another in her balled, whitened knuckles.

Sherlock immediately tailed behind, assisting to set up their dinner. This time, it carried a different vibe. Sherlock's lips trembled  silently, the childish annoyance which usually happened was nowhere to be found. Irene's mocking and little games wasn't conducted too, not even her mischievous zeal surfaced. 

Whether they wanted to admit or not, big chances it would probably be their very last dinner. From time to time, domestic life washed away fear of the end. Suddenly, just then, reality would slap hardly and dragged them down, begging for time to go slower and the moon to forget falling away into morning. 

Despite the heaviness of their hearts, not a hint of truthful pain came upon their faces. Sherlock and Irene chatted joyously as they dawned on dinner.

Hours passed by unlikely to their prayers. When the clock struck 11, Sherlock offered his hand to lead her into their last waltz. Another half an hour was spent in warmth and comfort as their cab drove from the country side to metropolitan downtown.

Cause it's too cold 

For you here, and now

The two swayed close as man in megaphone started the new year countdown. Everyone around started cheering in foreign languages they didn't fathom, either correct numbers or drunk, slurred words. Yet Sherlock and Irene put no matter to their surroundings, as if the world itself was made for them only, everyone else was simply irrelevant.

Suddenly, Sherlock circled his arms around her waist. Irene narrowed her eyebrows in confusion, staring into the man's in hope for answers. Even though, she played along. Maybe there was someone suspicious preying on them, or a danger Sherlock had reckoned before her.

Above all probability, sentiment was placed at the very bottom. Irene learnt from her mistake, playing feelings with the detective would turn out just to be delayed disappointment. Yet what she let slip, sentiment wasn't just a reason in her demeanor, but also the things in her unconsciousness; the heaviness to part ways and the chains to stay close to the other, when all she had been doing for her whole life was running away. Sherlock Holmes had turned out to be the anchor she never knew would accept.

5 . . 4

Not a word escaped from Sherlock's mouth. Instead, he pressed his forehead against hers. The bridges of their noses met, breath hitching, pupils dilated, hearts beating rapidly as if they were barging through flesh and ribs. Irene's fingers were clutched tightly to his coat and she lifted her chin high to meet his gaze, as she could initially reach his chest.

"Is there another vatican cameo?" She asked.

A tender smile grew on Sherlock's lips as he shook his head.

"No, we're safe and sound. Just, bear with me."

So let me hold 

Both your hands in the holes of my sweater

3 . . 2

Though they had winter coats up to their necks, with snow falling on top of their heads and Budapest in its coldest state, quiver had struck Irene's lips. The former smile on Sherlock's mouth lifted into an amused grin as his hands moved down to reach hers. Their fingers were entangled tightly, Sherlock's radiating warmth into Irene's.

1, Happy New Year!

Fireworks launched high to the dark skies. Everyone around them cheered, some were dancing, some lifted the bottoms of their cold pints, ready to drink themselves off in the special night.

Yet the two chose to stay silent, communicating through the deep gaze and smiles they shared. It was a decision they had chosen without doubt nor the shortest argument; to start the first chapter of a new year together, in the presence, commitment, and fidelity of each other. Slowly, Sherlock lowered his head to her ears, lips parting to whisper:

"Happy New Year, love."

But before he could back away, Irene's palms cupped his jaw,  holding them in place as she brushed her lips against him. Sherlock's eyes widened in surprise before gaining sense of reality again and deepened the caress.

Sherlock Holmes with his posture crooked to reach Irene Adler on her tip toes, people who knew them would drool in disbelief.

It was bizarre enough for hints of domestic growing between them for the past two years. New habits picked up from each other, late night confessions and soothing Sherlock when he got anxious over John and Mrs Hudson over countries, or when Irene would feel a cold blade behind her neck and relive Karachi over again.

Or the subtle panic when the other gets sick, or the fear when they bend over time. Of course, bickering, childish or serious, would occur over the months.

Yet, there they were, the posh boy and the dominatrix, falling deep in their own story about love, their quills were up and ready to write new chapters. However improbable, tedious, malingering, or devilish, they were to face life together, and that was enough. 

Finally, the two parted away with mischief and dissatisfied longing in the look they shared.

"Is that your answer, Mr Holmes?"

"Apparently so," He murmured, a tint of light red coloring his cheeks as his eyes wandered around in embarrassment.

"Glad to know we're on the same page," Irene said with a grin as Sherlock dove his head, letting all the sentiment he had dammed for years into a tender caress on her lips.

[osmw1]

Poison-Wielding Fugitive   Chapter 69

“Hmpf!”

With her sword in hand, Celes uses the same skill on me as the one she used on Safkrym.

“Luminous Blade!”

A streak of light trails off from her sword towards me.

“Whoa!”

Right away, I dropped my crossbow in exchange for the Flyiron Sword tied to my hip. I raise it up to block Celes’ blow, but the sword splits into two. Still, at least I was able to avoid being struck.

“Take this!”

Celes holds up her sword again as I flick up the crossbow on the ground with my foot. I catch it then immediately jumped back and fired three shots at her, taking full advantage of the opportunity. However, accompanied by the sound of metal colliding on metal is Celes chopping down the bolts in mid-air.

“… impressive.” “Only because you still hesitate, Celes.”

She may be swinging down at me with tenacity, but her movements are nowhere near as nimble when compared to the fight against Safkrym. But it’s because she’s still hesitating that I still have a chance. Now… what do I do?

‘Thou standest nary a chance against her, unless thou strikest her with poison.’

That’s assuming I can even hit her. Well, it’d be easy if I were to spray poisonous mist, but I’ll end up killing Celes and there’s no way I would get out of that situation alive. I just have to find a way to somehow make an escape.

“Hey, Celes.” “Speak.” “I really don’t want to die, so honestly, I’d prefer to not duel you anymore. You understand, right?” “…”

Celes remains silent as she rushes up to my face. She’s crazy quick. It’s scary how much her stats are better than mine! I dodge the swing of her sword by the skin of my teeth, but I get kicked right in the chest.

“Guh!”

Yeowch! Her kick sent me flying three whole meters. I try my best to safely tumble then ready my crossbow.

“Celes, you don’t have to do this—this witch hunt you call a dragon extermination.” “I must. But I must also dispel the baseless suspicions in the hearts of my brethren, even if you resist!”

Jeez, talk about stubborn. But that’s not bad either.

“You can’t do that. You can’t worry about me while ignoring the most important person. You can’t any doubt. You and I both know that there’s someone waiting to be saved by you!” “Hmpf… I cannot believe you would say such a thing. Cohgray, they suspect you because you lifted the curse. Let me take you in so you may help yourself!”

You get familiar to just about anyone. Even Celes and the lightning quick thrusts of her blade are things I can learn. And with my intuition, I can predict her. Now, it’s like a game of tag, but using a sword and a crossbow.

“Yukihisa…” “Muuuu…”

Arleaf and Muu watch the two of us with full attention. Obviously, they can’t let their guards down either, in case the Saint Yggdrans attack any one of us. We can’t let them interrupt our duel, even with the priest clamoring for Celes to hurry and slay me. … Veno, I don’t think it’s innocent until proven for us. But Celes is still hesitating and I don’t think they have much evidence anyway. Can’t you do anything?

‘Nay. I cannot so much lift a single talon, let alone use any of my magic.’

I quickly check the buffs from the poison and Arleaf’s cooking. Hey Veno, you can’t penetrate that Forced Possession Summoning barrier at all, right?

‘Obviously. Surely, thou shouldst know by now.’

But… your fecal matter does.

‘Aye, but… of what art thou thinking? I cannot read thine mind unless thou producest the thought.’

I didn’t really expect Veno to be able to pick up a passing thought. Alright, then I’ll focus on it. Can you pass your own poison through the barrier?

‘I see… I, too, have wondered. My poison can be thought of to be similar to my blood. However… the two are separate. It is much smaller than any talon or scale of mine… so I may be able to open such a hole small enough for them not to notice yet large enough to pass a drop through to thee. I shall be releasing the strength that had been sealed away thus far… but aye, it may be possible.’

Then, if I could have just one single drop of the strongest poison you can produce.

‘Thou must absolutely not use it against anyone. Do not drop it either. If it were to vaporize even the slightest, it shall prove to be fatal to bystanders! Gah… even something like this is so obstructed… hmpf!’

Veno wrings out his seldom used magical energy and exerts his might as a Poison Dragon to create a single drop of his poison, dripping it onto the tip of the bolt in my hand. Alright! Once again, I forcefully stab the bolt into my own arm.

It instantly courses through my entire cardiac system, scorching through as though it were liquid fire in my veins. Static and noise fill my vision, leeching all color from my view. Light flickers, nauseating me. Blood oozes out from every part of my body, but at the same time, all my wounds quickly heal due to my Poison Absorption. However, the negative effects of Veno’s poison outweigh the regeneration.

Deadly Ancient Dragon Poison α

The text appears in my vision as the effects kick in. I can definitely see Celes’ movements a lot clearer now. Yo, Veno! The toxins from Arleaf’s cooking is nothing compared to yours!

‘‘twas all I could muster, so knowest that thou art yet at the level of thine opponent!’

Damn, you totally just wanted to diss me!

‘Not to mention that thou hast both the poisons of the lass and mine. ‘tis no surprise that it had exceeded thine limits.’

I wonder. … at least Arleaf doesn’t look discontent with her poison this time around. Anyway, now it’s a fair fight.

“C-Cohgray?! Are you okay?!” “Haha, that was the ace up my sleeve. Looks like I can’t escape without surpassing my own limits.”

My body is screaming at me. I can’t keep this up for too long.

“… how considerate of you to be holding back until now. No, we have no time. Cohgray, come and end this!”

Ah. She must’ve realized that I haven’t been using my poison against her. Really, I can’t thank Celes any more for being so honorable. But I really can’t do much but fire my crossbow at her. I can’t help but feel like I can’t hit Celes with a bolt, no matter how strong I get. In that case…

“Let’s wrap it up then! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

I scream out loud like Muu using War Cry and I rush over at Celes. Of course, I activate the Cloaking on my armor as I rapidly zigzag my way over to her.

“What is this speed?! There are even afterimages trailing behind him…”

Celes swings her sword at me while I sneak towards her. Though she was hesitant at first, now she’s gotten much more precise with her movements. She’s taking this one-on-one duel seriously now, eh? But… she’s no match with me and my buffs! Damn, it hurts though. My head feels like it’s on the verge of splitting. My vision’s still all messed up too.

But… even so… I can do this! I close the distance between us and I jam my crossbow into her chest while unleashing Power Shot at point-blank range. The bolt strikes and pierces Celes’ substantial chest plate. I don’t think anyone would survive this if this were real life Japan. But video game logic exists in this world.

“Ugh…”

The evidence is clear: the bolt left only a large fissure in her armor without penetrating through. I nimbly leapt backwards while my crossbow automatically reloads.

“V-Very impressive… but—”

Celes raised her voice as puts her hand to her chest. She’s tough… but that’s also not good for me.

‘Thou avoided both critically striking her and omitted thine poison.’

Well, I don’t want to kill her either. I just want her to give up.

contents: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /ch013/ /ch014/ /ch015/ /ch016/ /ch017/ /ch018/ /ch019/ /ch020/ /ch021/ /ch022/ /ch023/ /ch024/ /ch025/ /ch026/ /ch027/ /ch028/ /ch029/ /ch030/ /ch031/ /ch032/ /ch033/ /ch034/ /ch035/ /ch036/ /ch037/ /ch038/ /ch039/ /ch040/ /ch041/ /ch042/ /ch043/ /ch044/ /ch045/ /ch046/ /ch047/ /ch048/ /ch049/ /ch050/ /ch051/ /ch052/ /ch053/ /ch054/ /ch055/ /ch056/ /ch057/ /ch058/ /ch059/ /ch060/ /ch061/ /ch062/ /ch063/ /ch064/ /ch065/ /ch066/ /ch067/ /ch068/ /ch069/ /next/

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[zrtranscripts]

Radio Abel, Season Six

Part 1 of 6

PHIL CHEESEMAN: [clears throat] Hello, ci-ti-zens. Welcome to the brand new broadcasts of Radio Abel. Yes, we're back, bigger and better than ever before.

ZOE CRICK: Hmm, to be fair, we were never really gone. I mean, we were galavanting around the country for nine months -

PHIL CHEESEMAN: It was only galavanting!

ZOE CRICK: Well, you definitely galavanted on a few occasions. But we were on the air the whole time.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yeah, but we weren't broadcasting from Abel.

ZOE CRICK: It's radio. [laughs] No one can see where we're broadcasting from. For all they know, we could be broadcasting from inside an overgrown privet while nursing a nest of baby hedgehogs.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: [sighs] You're not going to let me have the moment, are you?

ZOE CRICK: Sorry. Sorry. [whispers] I'll shut up. [out loud] Go on.

[both begin speaking simultaneously]

PHIL CHEESEMAN: This is the thing -

ZOE CRICK: The thing is, though -

[each taking a turn speaking]

PHIL CHEESEMAN: [sighs] I'll just play some music, shall I?

ZOE CRICK: Might be best.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Well, since Zoe isn't going to let me celebrate what, let's be honest, is a pretty historic moment – uh, not us being here, obviously. Not that full of myself. Just, um, Abel being back in the right hands – here's a song that always makes me think about new beginnings.

ZOE CRICK: Funny, [laughs] that song always makes me think of bacon sandwiches, but maybe that's just me.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: It is just you.

ZOE CRICK: Might not be.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: It is.

ZOE CRICK: They did make amazing bacon butties in St. Mary Settlement, though. Remember? With their own homemade tomato ketchup. Oh no, wait. [laughs] You always refused to eat them, for some reason.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Uh, because I got up early one day and I saw what they put into the ketchup.

ZOE CRICK: What? Why the hell didn't you tell me?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Oh, you'd already eaten about 70,000 by then. [sighs] Thought you'd be happier not knowing.

ZOE CRICK: So what was it?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You'd definitely rather not know.

ZOE CRICK: Phil...

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Are you really, really sure?

ZOE CRICK: Yes.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: All right, your lookout. It was ground-up – [ZOE CRICK interrupts]

ZOE CRICK: No, I changed my mind! [groans]

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Very wise.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: It was quite fun touring around, though. I mean, after Abel drove Sigrid out and we weren't in constant fear of our lives.

ZOE CRICK: Yeah, constant fear of our lives from other humans.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yeah. The zombies kind of go without saying. But I liked visiting all those settlements on the way here.

ZOE CRICK: Ellie would have had a field day. All those different ways people organized themselves. [laughs] It's an anthropologist's dream! Do you remember that one place - what was it called?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Templeton.

ZOE CRICK: That's right! How could you possibly have known that was the place I was thinking of? We must have stayed in at least two dozen different settlements.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Because you're weirdly obsessed with the way those guys picked their leader.

ZOE CRICK: Yes! They did it by lot.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Seemed pretty sensible to me.

ZOE CRICK: But don't you get it? They'd recreated Athenian democracy, and they didn't even know they had! They just spontaneously came up with the idea. Aw, it was so cool!

PHIL CHEESEMAN: [laughs] Yeah. But on the other hand, they decided to settle all internal disputes with dance offs. One woman got away with nicking her neighbor's pig because she was better at the American smooth.

ZOE CRICK: [laughs] Yeah. To be fair, that wasn't something the ancient Athenians did, as far as we know.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to pop into New Canton on the way here, though.

ZOE CRICK: Fort Canton, you mean.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Ah. It'll always be New Canton to me.

ZOE CRICK: Except for the fact it's now a hive of scum and villainy.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Eh, always was a bit of a hive of that sort of thing.

ZOE CRICK: Not full-blown villainy, though. More a hive of somewhat questionable characters and not entirely moral behavior. Now we can't go back there in case someone sells us out to Sigrid for a tin of beans.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yeah. But it's not like Abel isn't great. It is! And it's got a much better board game collection.

ZOE CRICK: Which is obviously the important thing.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You're the one who made a squeal of joy so high-pitched, bats could hear it when they saw they had a copy of Arkham Horror.

ZOE CRICK: True.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: One day, though.

ZOE CRICK: Yeah. One day.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: New Canton... yeah. New Canton, if you're listening, this one's for you.

ZOE CRICK: It's weird being back, though, isn't it?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yeah. Good weird.

ZOE CRICK: Good and bad. I just... I keep finding their stuff everywhere! I opened a drawer yesterday and there were three old socks jammed in the back of it. None of them matched, and one of them had unicorns on it. Purple unicorns!

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Wait, whose stuff?

ZOE CRICK: You know, our best friends who we don't mention for safety reasons.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Oh, yeah. Jody put you in their old room, didn't she?

ZOE CRICK: Yeah. I asked her to.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Did you?

ZOE CRICK: I thought... oh, I don't know.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You miss them!

ZOE CRICK: Well, I wouldn't go that far.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You're getting sentimental in your old age! Is that a little tear I can see in the corner of your eye?

ZOE CRICK: Right. Time for another song, and this one always makes me think about some friends.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: We could just say their names.

ZOE CRICK: It isn't safe.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: But, I mean, we're back in Abel now. It's not like when we were wanted fugitives.

ZOE CRICK: I'm not sure we were ever wanted, per se. I mean, the Ministry never put a price on our heads.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: But they talked about us in their propaganda broadcasts. They said you're unnaturally fond of cats. Which, to be fair, you definitely are. But Ian's dead now. We're not having to move every five seconds. Abel's Abel again.

ZOE CRICK: Yeah, but the Ministry's still there. It's not so much that they're not after us anymore. It's more that they're after us and everyone we're – we're living with.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Hmm. There's safety in numbers.

ZOE CRICK: Or you know, [laughs] a bigger, juicier target. I just think we need to be careful.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: [sighs] So what are we going to be calling them, then? Because you know we're going to be talking about them. Unmentionable One and Unmentionable Two?

ZOE CRICK: [laughs] Oh, I like that! Mr. and Mr. Unmentionable and the young Unmentionables.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: [laughs] Aw. What do you think they're doing right now?

ZOE CRICK: Isn't it pancake and, ugh, red cabbage day?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Oh, you're right! I definitely don't miss Unmentionable Two's cooking.

ZOE CRICK: Guys, [laughs] this one's for you.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: We've got something exciting for you today, listeners.

ZOE CRICK: We certainly have.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Uh, yes. Uh, something exciting.

ZOE CRICK: Something very exciting!

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Will you stop it?

ZOE CRICK: Stop what? [laughs] Agreeing with you?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yes! It's weird. Normally you'd say something like, "If that's your idea of excitement, you need to get out more."

ZOE CRICK: But Dr. Myers is going to be doing her own show about how to deal with the medical dangers of the post-apocalyptic world! That's important stuff!

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yes. It is. Only you wouldn't normally... no, wait. Isn't Maxine DMing that game of Demons and Darkness you're in?

ZOE CRICK: Maybe.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Sam was going on about it last night. He said you all got in a big fight with some were-bees, and your character was fatally poisoned, and your life depends on a saving throw you'll have to do next session.  

ZOE CRICK: That could have happened, yes.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: And that had absolutely nothing to do with why you're being so uncharacteristically nice about Maxine's new radio segment?

ZOE CRICK: Nothing at all. So, listeners, for the best medical advice from the best doctor in town, keep listening.

MAXINE MYERS: Hi! I'm Dr. Maxine Myers from Abel Township, and I'm here to answer your medical questions live, on air. Because as we all know, six years into the current zombie apocalypse, the National Health Service and access to medical care isn't what it used to be.

Sam has patched me into the Radio Cabel feed, so please email me at my Rofflenet address with all your questions on how to stay healthy, and I'll give you the best advice I can under the circumstances.

[sighs] I'm going to confess to you, listeners, I do feel kind of weird about doing this. But I don't care if a lot of people think I'm a mad scientist. It's not true. And you still need doctors. I promise I will only ever give good, solid advice, and I hope that's enough.

Okay. I'm going to play a song now.

MAXINE MYERS: Hi! Welcome back to Ask Dr. Maxine, and here's our very first question! I'm actually sort of excited!

Too Skinny in Scarborough writes, "Dear Dr. Maxine, I've always tried to eat healthily, even after Z-Day, and I run many miles every day along the rocky coast where I fish and collect seaweed and bird's eggs. But I've realized, after suffering through the past few winters, that I need to gain some weight and insulation before the cold weather gets here. What's the fastest way to put on a couple of stone?"

Well, Skinny, that is an excellent question. And I can't believe I'm recommending this, but of all the foods available to us in the post-apocalypse pantry, packaged cakes and sugary alcohol will pack on the pounds like nothing else. I am talking Tia Maria, cheap Schnapps, the sort of stuff teenagers drink. I mean, not, of course, that teenagers should drink. It's terrible for them.

Those packaged sweets are all extremely durable! They might not be the freshest, but if there's no visible mold or bad smell, they should be safe to eat, if not very nice. And you might still be able to find some in local shops if you're in a low survivor population area and a lot of them haven't yet been looted. So be on the lookout for Jaffa Cakes, if you can find any lately. I'm hearing there's a shortage. Also, all those kind of things. Bakewell tartlets, Twinkies... oh, I miss Twinkies!

MAXINE MYERS: Breaking Up is Hard To Do writes, "Dear Dr. Maxine, I'm afraid my housemate has broken his leg. He was kicked in the shin by our cow and has been in pain ever since. The bone doesn't seem to be out of alignment and he can wiggle his toes, but the lower leg is swollen and he can't put any weight on it at all. What do I do?"

Okay, Breaking, wiggling your toes is not actually diagnostic for a broken bone, despite what your mom might have said. So you have a problem, but things could be a lot worse. If your housemate had a complicated fracture, you'd need to manually realign the bone, which takes a good deal of strength and is very painful.

You can make an informed guess as to whether it's actually a simple fracture by noticing whether the legs appear to be the same length. If they are, you're in luck, after a fashion. If not, write back as soon as you can, and we'll talk about traction and how to reduce a fracture, which is a fancy medical way of saying how to set a bone.

[comms shack door opens]

PAULA COHEN: Maxie, I hate to interrupt, but I need you at the changing table, stat.

MAXINE MYERS: Yeah, honey, I'm on air – no. No, of course, I will be right there. Be right back, listeners, and in the meantime, enjoy this song.

MAXINE MYERS: And we're back! Sorry about that unexpected break, listeners, but diaper rash comes first.

So today on Ask Dr. Maxine, we're answering a question on how to splint a simple fracture. Modern splinting techniques are almost identical to those used by Galen in Rome in the 2nd century AD, so that's more good news. You don't need any fancy tech for this. 

What you do need to do first is find the pulse in the patient's foot. Now, this will be either in the little vein you can generally see on top of the foot, or it'll be behind the ankle bone. Once you've found it, remember where. You're going to need it later.

Now, you want to get two boards or other strong, straight pieces of wood, or metal, or plastic, as long as the patient's whole leg or a little longer. Remove the clothing on the injured leg and lay the boards on either side, inside and out. You can pad them with old socks or strips of cloth so they're more comfortable.

[comms shack door opens]

PAULA COHEN: Maxie, I'm really sorry to interrupt you again - hello, listeners – but we need you for a little problem out behind the chemical sheds.

MAXINE MYERS: [sighs] Yeah, of course, dear. Listeners, we'll be right back.

MAXINE MYERS: Listeners, a word of advice! If you're working with caustic chemicals, make sure your eyewash stand is properly operational. It could save your sight.

So, when we left our broadcast, you had just found some straight sticks to make a splint with. Now, you're going to tie a long strip of strong cloth such as a necktie around the leg and the boards at the top of the thigh, snugly but not too tight. 

After you've done this, check to make sure you can still feel the pulse where you found it before. If you can't, it's too tight, and you have to retie. But if you can get more than two fingers between the leg and the cloth by pushing gently, it's too loose.

Repeat this process down the leg. When you get to the foot, you're going to need to create a sling to hold the foot immobile as well, which you do by winding cloth around the foot and tying it around the sticks as well.

[comms shack door opens]

PAULA COHEN: Hey, Maxie.

MAXINE MYERS: I'll be back with you after this song. You know, this is the one that reminds me of the first time I ever had to set a broken limb. [laughs] Now, there's a story for another day.

AXINE MYERS: Okay! Aftercare for a broken leg, before we're interrupted again. The patient needs to stay entirely off the leg for several weeks, and remain on crutches for at least six weeks, and preferably eight, depending on how the leg seems to be healing. 

A splint does not provide nearly the same protection as a proper cast, and must be inspected and possibly retied daily. It should also be removed every couple of days, the padding replaced, and the leg inspected for pressure injuries.

This might be a good time for your housemate to learn knitting, spinning, and other useful and entertaining skills that can be done while lying down. Good luck! With proper care, the prognosis for a simple break of this apparent kind is excellent. So with a little luck, he'll eventually be able to dance to this next song.

STEVE SISSAY: Hello, listeners, and welcome to A Guide to Effective Problem-Solving and Conflict Resolution, an audio series with me, your host, Steve Sissay. You can call me the Builder. I'll be covering the simplest, fastest, and most efficient ways to achieve what you need to achieve to survive and thrive in the modern world, [clears throat] occasionally, with [?].

Coming up on the show, we'll be covering plastic explosives and answering the question: Semtex vs. C-4? If you have the option, which should you grab? But first, some music. And this first one is for you. You know who you are.

STEVE SISSAY: We've all been in situations only explosives can solve. Perhaps there's a building full of zoms over the entrance to an underground bunker that'll keep you and your people safe. Perhaps you need to blast your way through a partially occluded mountain tunnel. Maybe there's a tree stump right in the middle of a field you're planning to use to plant dwarf wheat.

All of these can be life and death situations. All of these are serious, and you have to ask yourself: what are the pros and cons of the various explosives you might be able to get your hands on via the black market? And if you're in a pinch, can you use a piece of C-4 the size of the top joint of your thumb in place of a heat tab to cook your rations? Have a think about those questions, listeners. Use your initiative, and work out what you think the answers are. I'll be back before you know it.

MAXINE MYERS: Today we have a question about poisonous mushrooms. Fungophile from Felixstowe writes, "Dear Dr. Maxine, I found these mushrooms with a white cap and black speckled gills underneath. After I ate them, I experienced accelerated heart rate, my legs didn't work, and I had trembling and delirium."

Ouch. Well, Fungophile, it sounds like you found a poisonous mushroom, and you are very lucky to be alive to talk about it. Mushrooms are delicious, but it is best to leave the collecting wild specimens to the experts.

Oh. Oh, wait. There's, uh, more below the fold. Oh. Well, Fungophile from Felixstowe goes on to ask, "Where do I find more?" Fungophile, maybe stick to home brew beer. It is a lot less likely to kill somebody.

MAXINE MYERS: Hi there! This is Dr. Maxine, answering your post-apocalyptic medical questions live, on air. Infected in Essex writes, um, "How much pus is too much pus?" Well, Infected, pus in general is not a great sign. It means your body is fighting an infection - as you obviously know from the moniker you've given yourself - because it's made up of dead white blood cells, casualties of combat, and some other organic materials. It does mean that you're not a zombie, however, so that's the great news. Zombies no longer have active white blood cells or active circulatory systems at all.

[comms shack door opens]

PAULA COHEN: Hey, Maxine, I was wondering – oh, you're still broadcasting, aren't you?

MAXINE MYERS: Paula, do you just want to come in and do the show with me?

PAULA COHEN: Well, it's just that your rec time is the only time we have to spend together -

MAXINE MYERS: Paula.

PAULA COHEN: Yes?

MAXINE MYERS: Come on in!

STEVE SISSAY: So, are you sitting comfortably? I do hope so. I really want you to be comfortable, and safe. I'd really like you to be safe. But I know what you're like. [laughs]

Back to the matter at hand. C-4. Can you cook with it in a pinch? Honestly, I wouldn't recommend it. We've all heard the stories about people thinking it'd be hilarious to stamp on a piece of C-4, and ending up with one less foot than they started with. C-4 is stable, and it's not likely to go boom if you set it on fire. But in the zombie apocalypse, how do you know what you've got your hands on is genuine C-4? If in doubt, eat cold rations.

STEVE SISSAY: Let's suppose you've hit the motherlode. You've come upon a survivalist's stash of explosives, and let's say you're planning to take down a wall to gain swift and thorough entry to an enemy compound.

So, Semtex or C-4? I'll level with you: there's not much to choose between them. Semtex has that, well, distinctive smell. C-4 is a little more powerful, and more likely to come from military supply chains. So you've got the chance to be a tad better informed about what you're really holding. Either one will get you where you want to be. And here's a song that reminds me of where I really want to be right now.

STEVE SISSAY: Other considerations to bear in mind if you're choosing between Semtex and C-4 – the Ministry is still manufacturing C-4 in small quantities, whereas Semtex probably hasn't been made since the apocalypse, and it can degrade. So I'm thinking, if you've really got the choice of taking down a wall with either one, go C-4. You're likely to have a more reliable experience.

On the other hand, if you're trying to gain access to a building, always remember to consider non-explosive methods of entry. Perhaps there's an unguarded bay window at the back of the property, or perhaps a person might be able to sneak through at 6:30 PM at Gate North 63, where I hear the guard is someone who owes me a favor. And there's a tapas bar on the city side that never asks to see papers.