#it's just such a hassle on mobile and like I said I don't have much free time with my computer
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Sorry I've been taking kind of a break from this blog btw! Because of the fact that I can only easily link to archived coining posts on desktop, that only leaves me about two days a week to be able to get stuff done, and sometimes I want to use those days for rest or my other hobbies instead!
#if I had every day free at my computer I'd probably be doing this more#I do really enjoy it#it's just such a hassle on mobile and like I said I don't have much free time with my computer
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I feel like I would consider myself polyamory agnostic in a way, like I would maybe like for it to happen but I often fear that I don't have the ability to manage even one partnership, let alone multiple relationships, since I am often. So tired. I often find myself idealizing the "late" stage of a relationship when everyone already has settled into what to expect of each other and knows not to take it personally if someone falls asleep mid movie, for example. All this to say, how do you handle your relationship structure as a disabled/chronically ill person? Do you have any advice/thoughts on how it works for you? (I feel like perhaps you have posted about this before and I am just forgetting...)
oh this is a really good question! i'm not sure how relevant my life experience will be to you, particularly given that i started dating all three of my current partners before becoming disabled/crippled. but i am happy to share!
first off -- i 100% get romanticizing the late stage of relationships, sometimes you just need things to be chill and flexible. but i also don't think that this stage necessarily Needs to be reserved for Late Relationships?
like.... the older i get, the more upfront i've decided to be about my needs, especially with new people. granted, a lot of the people i meet these days are either disabled themselves or Get It -- my social circle is mostly queer spoonies in their 20s and 30s + much much older retirees that i hang out with at the local pool.
some people prefer not to be so open so quickly about their limitations, it is hard and scary to be visibly disabled, harder still to ask for help & admit that you might be inconvenient / a burden / take up extra space. this USED to be me until i said. eh. fuck it. after a certain point, wounded pride is just a mental construct
basically, like. when i'm online these days, you'll see me be clear about my limits with strangers - i'll say that if i stop replying to chats or asks, it's not bc i hate you, it's bc i'm tired or forgetful. that i can't guarantee responses to ppl, even people i'm already friendly with. that if my mood is bad or my pain levels are high, i won't engage in much social interaction at All. that my capabilities fluctuate wildly depending on the day and that i cannot be relied upon for consistent scheduling or posting or creative output
i'm similarly open with people irl. it helps that i'm often using mobility aids when i'm talking to people. the mobility aids sorta strip the possibility of pretending not to be disabled. it's kinda the elephant in the room. but it means that i can be like, "as you can see, i am very crippled. i may need flexibility with any plans that we make. due to being very crippled."
if people get upset by this or simply don't have the capacity to deal with it, that is fine! that's not either of our faults, no one's done anything wrong, we're just not in the right circumstances to mesh. i don't get hurt by that personally. i've honestly found that it saves SO much time and hassle and potential drama/heartache to set expectations right away. the only other option is to exhaust myself and end up failing to meet expectations regardless and losing the friendship after burning up a bunch of energy and social bridges. painful and bad!
so like... i can meet a new person, and if they're cool with My Whole Deal, then there's no waiting period before we're familiar enough for flaky behavior. i can be like, "i'm not sure i'll be able to walk tonight, is there a place to sit down at the event?" or "i'm flaring a little, is it okay for us to be kinda flexible about tomorrow's schedule?" or "hey, i'll get back to you as soon as possible i promise, i'm just fogged TO SHIT today [peace sign]" from day 1. it's great
i'm not saying that you Have to do this; i am aware that it breaches like seventeen laws of general social etiquette. i'm just saying that i have met many people who are totally chill about this! as long as you're chill and respectful of the other person as well, you can do whatever you want forever
that was not even relevant to the initial ask, so. AS FOR MY PARTNERS.
i actually don't find that my illness makes it harder to navigate my relationships at all. like i mentioned, i've been with all three partners for Many Many Years now. we know each other Extremely well, we're all extremely turbo autistic, we all have blunt communication down to a science. so saying "i'm not up for doing [x thing] tonight, can we take a rain check?" is super easy.
in fact, my partners can basically intuit a flare from just my physical movements and tone of voice, even before i say a single word. we are VERY familiar with each other.
.....and, alright. after fighting the urge to longpost i've decided to put the rest under a cut. YOU'RE WELCOME 4 THE RETURN OF YOUR DASHBOARDS. "why didnt you put it under a cut so much earlier" read my posts boy
anyway. click readmore to hear me expand upon just how fucking incredible and awesome and kind and generous and loving my People are
there ARE some ways that the illness has made it more difficult for ME to be the kind of partner that i want to be -- for example, i often lack the energy to provide proper emotional support during stressful situations, i have a shorter threshold for pain/irritation than i used to, i can't give 100% of my energy anymore and there have been times when that has resulted in hurt feelings in my partners.
(there have been far more times, though, when nobody's feelings are hurt and it's literally fine.)
in every case where feelings DID get hurt, we've talked stuff out and fixed it within like an hour. bc we all trust each other and know that we don't WANT to hurt each other's feelings. i never ever Ever say things with the intention of wounding my partners, and they know that. they never say things with the intention of wounding me, either, which is why our very blunt "hey, you need to change something you're doing" convos go so well. there's no need to tiptoe, it doesn't hurt me to know what they're thinking or feeling or needing.
sometimes things are just hard and shitty and we're all doing the best we can. this is just part of adulthood i think. especially adulthood in late stage capitalism, etc. the Biggest key to my polycule is that we are all much happier as a family than we would be without each other. the relationships are about as wholesome and healthy and non-toxic and openly communicative as they can get
the Other key aspect when dealing with my illness is that.... being polyamorous has actually been... SOOOOOO MUCH BETTER than being 1) alone, OR 2) in a monogamous relationship EVER WOULD BE?
it is Extremely Stressful for my family to deal with me being this sick. i am aware of that. but i haven't had to bear the brunt of it. not only do they support me, but they also all communicate with and support each other. so no one person is bearing the entire weight of the stress or pain or fear. and i don't have to comfort people over my own symptoms, which most disabled ppl i think would agree is.... exhausting
when i'm too fucked up to speak aloud, let alone support my partners the way i usually do, they ALWAYS have EACH OTHER as a safety net.
this safety net has been beyond vital for me personally, too. round-the-clock care from a single partner is insane and exhausting and leads to unraveling tempers. but when you live with two partners who can help cover your chores and cook and make sure you don't die of your Symptoms (TM)? that's much more doable.
it's HARD, bc literally everyone in the house is disabled to some degree, but it's doable. (it being hard is part of why my QPR is going to move in with us soon. extra hands!)
a few weeks ago, rafi (partner of 7ish years) went on a short vacation to visit family in california. and justice (QPR of 3ish years, best friend of 8ish years) booked an impromptu next-day plane ticket to come stay with me and vi (partner of 11ish years) while rafi was gone. because i was Very Sick. i was flaring horribly the whole time she was here, and she made meals and cleaned and ran errands and picked up medications and returned phone calls and lay in bed with me watching low-stakes tv shows and made sure i didn't stroke out without anyone there to help.
this meant that i basically got to stay in bed the whole time, which was very very Very needed. and vi -- who has a bad back -- wasn't unduly taxed with Literally All of the household upkeep in rafi's absence.
the same principle has applied when i've needed my partners to help cover my share of bills or my household chores or my errands or whatever. since there are three other people involved, the Immediate Support Net is much wider than in a monogamous relationship. especially bc all three of them have their own familial and friend support networks to reach out to!
having more people around is actually awesome for me. i don't feel like i'm expending a lot more energy than i would in a monogamous relationship, but i AM receiving a TON more support and care and love than would be possible in a monogamous relationship.
i guess the conclusion i'd make is: no man is an island, humans are hardwired to build large social support groups, and in a good relationship, you'll receive At Least as much as you give. right now i'm receiving a SHIT TON MORE than i give, and i do often feel pretty bad about it despite knowing it's not my fault.
but these people have chosen to be my family. and if they ever want to stop choosing me then they absolutely can. and if they need more from me or they need something Different from me, then they'll literally just tell me.
(i know they will literally just tell me because all three of them have literally just told me in the past. they're three people i can implicitly trust to say things like "hey, this thing you said made me sad / was unhelpful" and "hey, i'm really stressed out about [x thing], can we make a plan to deal with it?" and "hey, this situation is pretty serious and i know that you don't want to face it but i really need you to. i will take on whatever i can for you and support you the whole time")
so: yes it has been hard to some extent, managing three relationships while also being sick. but it is also a wonderful setup with a million unthought-of advantages & i am much better cared-for and much better AT caring because of it & i fucking Shudder to think how horrific being sick would be without them.
i love my family so much.
#long post#replies#polyamory#this barely scratches the surface bc it's just a few examples of how our dynamics work but hopefully it is clarifying#polyamory is an advantage that has saved my Entire Ass. my partners are wonderful.#all relationships do take work but my three relationships don't take So Much Work that there's no benefit you know#the work is really easy. it's just. you take care of me when i need it and you can. i take care of you when you need it and i can#that's literally it. it's not a hard symbiosis to maintain#autoimmune tag
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[Gakuen K] Munakata Reisi Route: Average of 90+ Translation
*Translator’s note : MC’s name shall remain as my normal (水嶋ラ��) *Gakuen K Masterlist / Gakuen K Mobile Masterlist *Spoiler FREE : Translations under cut ! Reblogs appreciated~
Seri: —And that will be all for today. Everything we've gone through in class today will be tested, so don't forget to revise them on your own time.
Kukuri: Looks like it's time for club activities now. You're heading to yours after this too, right?
Ran: Yeah.
Kukuri: The Blue Club is filled with people who get good grades all the time, so it really boosts their image as an intelligent Club.
Ran: It really does… Plus, most of them also hold seats in the Student Council.
Ran: (But, does that mean I'll also have to score well since I'm also part of the Blue Club?)
»» ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♔◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ««
Fushimi: Huh? My grades? They're pretty average.
Akiyama: Mine's pretty average too.
Ran: I-I see. That's a relief to hear…
Akiyama: Did something happen?
Ran: No, I was just talking to my classmate and we just had the impression that most people in the Blue Club would score really well on tests.
Munakata: Most people here are indeed high-scorers.
Ran: …I knew it.
Munakata: Most of us are either in the top 10 of our cohorts or part of the top 20 at the very least.
Ran: (Looks like everyone here has good grades after all…)
Munakata: No doubt thanks to the fact that you'll be kicked out of the Club if you fail to achieve at least 90 marks, I'm sure.
Ran: Wha? But you didn't mention that when I first joined.
Munakata: Heh, I look forward to seeing the results of your next test.
Ran: (I've never taken this school's tests, so asking me to score at least a 90 on my first try is a little…)
Ran: (Maybe I should ask someone to help tutor me…)
▷Choice: Ask Fushimi
Ran: Um, Fushimi-kun…? Fushimi: No. Ran: But I haven't said anything. Fushimi: I can guess. You want me to tutor you, don't you? Ran: Huh. How'd you know that? Fushimi: *Sigh* Well, it's a hassle, so no. Fushimi: Besides, your first instinct shouldn't be to rely on others. Munakata: Fushimi-kun is right. Try relying on your own skills this time. Ran: Okay… fine. Ran: (It's definitely gonna be hard to score at least a 90 on my first test here…)
▷Choice: Ask Munakata
Ran: Um, Senpai…? Could you help tutor me? Ran: I don't know the trends this school has when it comes to setting test questions. Munakata: Hmph. Is that so…? Your honesty is a virtue, but perhaps you should try your own hand at this. Munakata: You won't be able to ascertain your own abilities if you choose to rely on others from the very beginning. Ran: That's true… Alright then, I'll try my best!
Ran: Could I ask for help if I encounter something that even I can't solve no matter how hard I try?
Munakata: Of course. You can also ask the other members besides Fushimi-kun and I.
Munakata: As long as you're a member, you can make full use of the time spent on extracurricular activities and student council matters to your advantage.
Ran: G-Got it! Thank you so much.
Ran: (That's good. At least I can still consult him if it really comes to it…)
Munakata: Do your best. I look forward to seeing the results of your efforts.
Ran: Okay!
Ran: (I've got to get an average of 90, at least… Looks like I'll have to think of a plan to achieve it!)
Ran: (Should I focus on my stronger subjects to make up for my weaker ones? Or should I just focus on my weaker subjects…)
Munakata: Enough chit-chat. It's time for club activities to commence.
Ran: (I have to pull through somehow, one way or another… I suppose I'll have to start revising once I get back to the dorm today.)
»» ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♔◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ««
Next Scene: Test Results
#Gakuen K#Gakuen K: Wonderful School Days#K project#Otome#Translations#Munakata Reisi#Fushimi Saruhiko#Akiyama Himori#Awashima Seri#Tomokazu Sugita#Gakuen K Munakata Route
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wahhh perfect timing thank you so much for letting us come to you for help 🥲
is it possible to write and do everything on mobile tumblr even if it's inconvenient? i'm a new writer and i really want to do all what other writers on here are able to do (like the formatting and all those aesthetics i suppose!) but i'm worried i'd specifically need to have a laptop to publish my works as proper as theirs, but since i don't have one i'll have to make do 😞 you seem to be knowledgeable about it so i want to know if it's possible to do everything on the mobile tumblr (just with a little more hassle, but possible nonetheless!) or should i try website tumblr on mobile? i'm afraid it would refresh any time though and i lose progress 😵💫
how do people do the wordcounts? i can never seem to get the hang of it, do they write their work somewhere where words can be counted or does tumblr already have that feature that i don't know of? bc if so, i don't know any apps for that (all i really have is my phone TT) and if it's okay, can you perhaps let me in on what you use for it or alternatives on the phone, please? (i'm really a newbie with tumblr and all🥲but i want to be able to navigate it expertly soon :))
i have also noticed that some writers do not have a cut to their work, like you know the 'keep reading' button? yes, i had this fic in my likes that had 30k wordcount and no cut at all and i had one heck of a time scrolling through my likes to find some things whenenever i come across that fic 😭😭😭 i thought that tumblr automatically cuts your work if it gets quite long, but it seems to be done manually if i'm not wrong? 😀
you seem to be the perfect person to ask these questions to so i hope you don't feel bothered by how much i've just blurted out :')
oh yes let's go bubbles it's time for me to shine^ㅁ^you have found the PERFECT person for these questions!!
you're welcome love, you can come to me anytime you have any queries i'd love to help!! it's totally okay and don't worry with time you will be able to expertly have your way around the app it's not that hard! and like i said you can always ask for help, if not me then someone else. and no you did not bother me at all <33
( 001. ) i dare say close to all of that formatting, aesthetics, writing and literally everything a blog needs is 100% possible just using the mobile tumblr!
i personally have never used the laptop for my tumblr besides just looking through my notifs when my phone is on charge. i legit do everything single thing from my phone, even the writing.
though i would say some things require you going back and forth with the web tumblr but it's okay cause it's not like an everyday thing.
things you can do on the mobile app: writing, post layouts(the three picture thing, different fonts, dividers, read more line thing), add the links(in posts), asks(answer and send including pictures and links and anonymous), change your description(including colors and fonts), change your background and accent colors, change your profile picture, queue, schedule and reblog posts, making side blogs and literally anything besides those mentioned below.
things you can not do on mobile tumblr and hence have to use the web tumblr: using colors(including gradient) for your fonts besides the default colors allowed on the app(you have to do it through html post editor available on the web tumblr post editor options), adding links in your description, blocking someone from your side blog, checking your activity status as in how many followers or notes you gained in a day or week or month, mass post editing(which is like editing the tags of multiple posts at once this one you need the laptop!) and that's all i can think of for now but it's the main things.
the chances of losing progress on tumblr is possible whether you use mobile app tumblr, mobile web tumblr or laptop tumblr. best thing is to use your google docs to write and then copy paste it to tumblr at the time of posting.
( 002. ) bingo! you are correct. tumblr does not have the feature to show the word count so writers do use different apps for it. google docs has the word count feature and i use it for my longer fics, wattpad also has the word count feature so for my headcanons and reactions i usually use wattpad.
( 003. ) this one is a bit complicated in a sense, let me explain it in small steps. so when you publish something you always have the option of putting the keep reading cut anywhere you want.
tumblr has this thing where under a specific tag, let's say enhypen imagines tag, in order to not clog up the dash of that specific tag it automatically adds the keep reading if your keep reading cut shows more than what tumblr allows. however all the other places like if anyone has liked it or rebloged it, the post will appear as originally or as presently the post is formatted.
so if in your likes that post is showing the entire fic it means the writer has not added the keep reading cut anywhere. but when you search up the enhypen imagines tag and find the same fic it will show a keep reading cut as per tumblr's rules.
this is the button for the read more option!
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always
plot : ldr comfort <3 (fluff and 10% angst)
theme song : always by daniel caesar & summer walker
lying on your bed, your mind couldn't help but drift away into countless thoughts and possibilities that might happen some time – mainly about what could happen to you and your solace.
you pulled your phone out to text him, "hi luv" when he almost immediately replies back. your mind was set to ask him a question you'd been wanting to find the answer to, whether it be an unsure or a certain one, you just wanted to hear something from him. you wish it was the same for your fingers which were trembling in fear, learning the truth sometimes costs, after all.
"luv, what do you think would happen to us once school starts again and we get busy?"
you decided to start off with a rather vague question, a little off-the-point from the one you really wanted to ask him. he then gave you a reasonable answer,
"i'm pretty sure we'd find time to talk, it shouldn't be a hassle."
pretty rational, you'd say. he'd always been that kind of guy, he wouldn't want to sugarcoat things and end up hurting you unnecessarily instead of being clear and say what he thinks is right. he followed his own reply with something you didn't fully expect. you haven't exactly wrapped around your mind the fact that he knows you. he asked you why you were asking this all of a sudden, and that if you were doing okay and the like. he pretty much gave you an opening to say what you really want to say, so you went for it.
"i'm afraid of what's gonna happen between us, i'm afraid we're gonna drift apart, i'm afraid you'll like somebody else and i'm just afraid you won't love me anymore."
he did see your reply quickly, but it seemed like he was taking time to digest what you just sent. his speech bubbles kept appearing and disappearing, and it was making you worry a little- who were you kidding? it made you worry a lot as you thought you might have said something wrong. "i'm sorry, luv. i didn't mean to bombard you with a question like that it's just that i'm really idk nervous you don't have to answer that" you added.
"as long as we have trust in each other, i don't see why we'd have a problem."
he also isn't the most affectionate and reassuring guy in the whole world but you get what he meant and he really trusted you – that really meant a lot to you since it came from a guy who have always had his guards up. a smile starts to form on the curves of your lips for the assurance he gave you. but right when you were about to reply, he added,
"and remember that i will always love you 'til i'm incapable of feeling anything at all."
you stared at your phone for a good minute, this time, you couldn't stop smiling – like your lips are taped on the sides of your ears. you rubbed your eyes to see if this is all maybe a dream, it isn't. your whole body softened to the romantic and wholesome message he just sent. half-conscious that you haven't replied yet, you chose to savour the moment that you didn't know was possible – to feel deep love and concern from someone a thousand miles away. "hey, you still there?" he shoots another message after five minutes.
"i mean you're right, we're still under the same sky and moon, right?"
you sent. "haha yeah :')" he replied. you swore you could hear his chuckle in your mind. he's been implanted in your mind and his love in your heart. you abruptly got up and took a picture of the moon to send to him. "it's so prettyyyy", you said. he replied,
"pretty, but you're still prettier."
you thought to yourself that you'll never get used to his compliments since it always hits you so hard and that you know to yourself that he's a genuine guy who wouldn't just compliment you for attention.
your night went on with casual and deep talks with him. you also played mobile games together to kill time every time he's done all his work, he's a keeper for sure. and, you see yourself in so many memories ahead of you two.
#enhypen#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen imagines#enhypen drabbles#enhypen oneshots#enha ff#enha#enha ffs#enhypen fluff#enhypen blurbs#enhypenfluff#enhypen angst#enhypen smau#enha x reader#enha fluff#enha scenarios#enha smau#enha headcanons#enhypen hcs#enhypen headcanons#headcanons#kpop oneshots#enha oneshots#enhypen ni ki#enhypen sunoo#enhypen jungwon#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen jake#enhypen jay#enhypen heeseung
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Nobody believes me when I say I'm disabled, because I can force myself to appear like I'm not. I'm 24 and everyone's all like 'wait until you get to be my age, it'll get so much worse' about pain and memory problems while I'm over here literally constant pain and memory problems so bad that I can forget something as soon as I hear it. My body may not look disabled because I can walk and I don't need mobility aids but I'm constantly exhausted and confused. It sucks living in a world where no one listens and everyone says 'oh it can't be that bad, your life has barely started' or 'i don't see why you think you're disabled'. Honey, if you lived in my life in my body and brain for a day I promise you would probably pass out from all the stress. Like I can push through the pain, but that doesn't mean I should have to. For example, a couple times I was playing basketball I dislocated my knee and my coach could tell so she called me over and taped it up and I immediately went back out to play and she said that she didn't know how I could do it. And during other practices I would tell her I couldn't do it only to going out and doing it 15 minutes later. A different coach saw me closing my hand constantly while I continued to play because I had scraped the side of my palm with my nail. He saw the blood eventually and pulled me to the side to look at it and clean it and he said that if it had been any deeper I would've had to get stitches. (Both examples from high school) My pain tolerance is so high because I'm constantly in pain so pain feels like nothing new, just a new addition to what's already there burning and eating at my flesh and energy. I feel super bad because I don't really talk to anyone anymore but it's just too much of a hassle and I don't want to burden them with my awkwardness and disabilities and friends kind of don't interest me anymore. That used to be all I wanted but I really couldn't care less anymore and it feels terrible to say because I know a lot of people care about me and want to hang out but I don't have the energy or tolerance for others anymore.. I used to be really active and sporty but I rarely have the energy or motivation to leave the house anymore
It's depressing sometimes to see others go on all sorts of adventures and actually be able to hold a job down instead of me working 2 days a week and being so burned out and in pain that I have no energy for anything else. I don't work anymore, it's too exhausting both mentally and physically. I feel like I'm only a letdown to everyone around me.
#young and disabled#chronic disability#chronic fatigue#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronically disabled#chronically ill#actually disabled#aroace agender#actually mentally ill#spoonie#disabled
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The first hurdle: file sharing
I would not have thought this to be such a hassle. On *ppl*, there's a thing that allows you to share a file, or a link, with another device nearby. The connection – to the best of my knowledge – is local, and when it works* it's pretty fast and convenient. *It does not always work. Sometimes it refuses to see the other device, and sometimes it hangs halfway through the handshake, either before or after the transfer. But it ends up working more often than not, and so it has become a missable convenience. Besides, when setting up a new device, transferring files around is kind of required practice.
So how do we fare on Android? Why hello anarchy, old friend, how have you been? It's the wild, wild west.
G**gl* offers an alternative, but it is very much dependent on their spyware services, and of course does not offer cross-platform compatibility. Other major vendors roll their own alternatives, which can exists alongside G**gl*'s own, but offer even more limited interoperability: only among their brand. Understandably, who would want to maintain their own software on other people's products?!
But in that respect they're all as bad as *ppl*'s offering, in that they do not play nice with the other kids on the playground. This kind of "segregation" is one of the nasty tactics employed by vendors to "lock in" the user base: they kind of take you hostage. You get the shiny device X from brand Y, and then a friend gets it too, and ooooh: now you can use all these cool features among each other, but if either of you decides to switch to a different brand, all the Y-branded stuff will be gone, including said cool features like the simple act of sharing data. And this in the 21st century, the age of the internet.
Unsurprisingly, I am looking at breaking free from all this nonsense, and thus I am looking for something that will work across as many platforms as possible. This is where anarchy bites. While there is no draconic overlord to dictate "the only way" (see *ppl*), there is also no cohesion or unity of effort. Just because everyone can roll their own approach, does not necessarily mean they should. Mind you: I'm not advocating against the diversity here. Different approaches can suit different people, and some healthy competition can keep people on their toes. Heck, in an ideal world, someone implementing a cool new feature might spark a whole slew of similar updates among comparable projects, spreading the new feature around.
But we don't live in an ideal world, and as per usual, capitalism is here to wreck the show. Under the guise of their "walled gardens", the tech wanna-be-monopolies try to leash their users to their platforms, and so the concept of interoperability becomes synonymous to heresy. So we have dozens of approaches, each different at the very least in name (i.e. branding), and none actually worth more than the cross-section between their user base and an individual's needs. And sadly, right now, my needs cross the boundaries of plenty of platforms, dramatically shrinking the number of viable candidates.
At present, I found one that kind-of works: KDE Connect. The apps for Android and the other mobile platform work pretty much out of the box, the laptop took a little more work. I tried a build from the official website, and it would not allow me to configure anything, complaining about a missing plugin.
Some digging around led me to instructions on how to build from source, and after a lot of compiling, the process failed: some library was built for x86 platform, while I was compiling on ARM. So I trashed the whole folder and tried again: let’s just build an x86 version and rely on the compatibility layers currently in place. Surely by the time those get deprecated, we’ll get a native version.
Well, no luck there, either, because the whole convoluted (and a bit opaque) compilation setup failed off the bat, being unable to cross-compile.
Back to almost square one, I resorted to look for other sources of a built binary, and found someone linking to a github repository dating back a few years, but lo and behold: it worked! The user interface is atrocious, but it would appear to integrate well with the OS. Of course, this is all very early days. We shall see how far we get with this option, or whether we will need to keep looking.
You’d just think this kind of problem had been solved by now, but I guess it just goes to show how little the greater good can compete with corporate greed.
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UAWC Update: 20,070
All right, I'm 40% of the way to my goal for the month. I don't have a lot to add to that, so I'll take this time to mention that I left Twitter last week.
I didn't have a very big Twitter footprint, so I don't think it matter much, but if anyone cares, I got more active on the thing in 2019, after Tumblr instituted the porn ban and everyone thought the site would go out of business or something. For years, my profile just read "I sure hope Tumblr doesn't self-destruct", because I really never understood what to do with Twitter and I was only using it in case people couldn't find me through Tumblr.
And I did tweet stuff over that five year period. Nothing particularly interesting, I think, but I guess I got something out of it. Then Elon Musk bought the thing, and I decided to stick around and watch it decay. I had to turn off DM's because I kept getting messages from spambots, likes became private, except sometimes they weren't? I'm not sure? The Trending tags section seemed to malfunction a lot. Gradually, everything you'd go to the site to do got a little shittier.
Eventually I got fed up with using it on mobile, so I deleted the app from my phone. On Firefox, I can actually block all the shitty ads, and that made the experience much easier to deal with, and also I couldn't use Twitter unless I was at home, which probably helped my mental health a lot.
Then the Brazil fiasco happened, when Elon tried to play hardball with the Brazillian government. I forget all the details, but the short version is that for a while it became illegal for Brazillian citizens to access Twitter, because Elon wouldn't implement the content moderation required by their laws. Using a VPN to get around this would incur a steep fine. So a lot of Brazillians made the jump to Bluesky.
I was on a trip when the Terms of Service thing changed, so when I got home I logged in for the first time in a while and there was this stupid message telling me I couldn't use the site until I agreed to the TOS. And the TOS said that anything I wrote or any images I posted would be used for training AI, and that was the last straw for me. I got a Bluesky account late last year, but I hadn't used it much because there was so little activity. But when the Brazil thing happened, there was a big influx of users, and I'm not sure it ever stopped. So by the end of October I was checking both sites, and a lot of the people I followed were making the jump, and it seemed like I might as well cut the cord on Twitter. The AI thing just gave me a good reason to go through with it.
From what I hear, there's another mass exodus going on now. I know Elon implemented some change to the block feature where the people you block can still read your tweets, and that really pissed people off, and the U.S. Election seems to have been a catalyst. I heard Taylor Swift fans are leaving the site in droves, but that could be for all sorts of reasons, really.
I'm a little curious what the current state of Twitter is right now, but that's exactly why I deleted my account. Even when I could log in, I couldn't really tell what was going on, so this way I save myself the hassle.
If you're still using Twitter, my advice is to just quit cold turkey. Delete your account, or if you're worried about people using your handle after you're gone, I guess you can delete all your tweets and go private. I don't know. Me, I'd rather make a clean break. Bluesky is shaping up nicely, and if you want to find me there, the handle is the same. But there's nothing left for you on Twitter, trust me.
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26 photos
Street view
SoldMar 2020 for $278K
3475 Lotus Rd
NORTH PORT, FL 34291

$440,653
Redfin Estimate
3 beds
•
2 baths
•
1,870 sq ft
Listed by Darren Dowling • COLDWELL BANKER REALTY. Bought with TREND REALTY.
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Single-family
Built in 2008, renovated in 2013
10,000 sq ft lot
$236 Redfin Estimate per sq ft
2 parking spaces
PORT CHARLOTTE SUB 26
Listed by Darren Dowling• COLDWELL BANKER REALTY
•941-204-0493 (agent)
•[email protected] (agent)
Bought with Monica DeSomma• TREND REALTY
•202-427-4328 (agent)
•[email protected] (agent)
•941-928-3449 (broker)
Look at the very bottom of the verbage above you'll see who sold the house and who bought it it was Sarah doucette who bought it and she is Taylor Swift and some other characters and it was Trump who sold it to her and she was posing as Dolores and has his money and he's after that and doesn't care about the s*** hits they're doomed and they want to arrest him and all sorts of other stuff for sending Kia a message and there's no real proof that he sent one and there's no backup or anything and it doesn't matter what he said was true and you are getting shot and killed over there for treason and you don't care about it Trump and Sarah doesn't and as a matter of fact that people die don't give that much of a s*** about it either. But the point is you're going to die Trump from this and people are going to seek the house you're sitting in to try and pretend they're his mom
Thor Freya
Olympus
Haha so his mom says now you're not going to let people pretend they're me are you and my husband says no way and then you see it with some idiot who doesn't look like her too much and that's what they're like and he's saying okay Mama and I just say whatever he wants cuz her act blows and boots LOL mooching off them cuz you can't afford to eat out and they're a bunch of wimps
Hera
We were the toughest of the tough and he beat up my son and never gets beaten up and was doing it in a giant fashion I mean he was hurling him across the room and against the wall and people see the tape are astonished in his strength so what's the f*** out you losers
Kammilla
I can do that on a good day for Christ's sake but really do some effort you can see you have to and saying cut the s***
The rock
He kept doing it and doing it and he wouldn't stop and my grandson wanted out of it for my other grandson to keep the peace and stuff and Dave wouldn't have it and he started smiling and laughing a little then he was mad I'll tell you what though he's kind of fooling around and my grandson tossed him a bunch of times and broke a bunch of stuff and David made him break furniture and all sorts of things I'll tell you what they still have power but they're losing it rapidly and you said it to their network is coming down their solid state network is almost completely gone and their computers and it's going to be different in that they'll be coming out of Saturn but they're already doing anything he says it's true but they're going to be doing a lot more activity and they're probably closer and you're probably destroy a lot of Max but they're getting rid of you more luck
He says it too David was not listening to him why would he listen to you pieces of s*** he listened to him about everything
Bill
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ughhhh me too. in the past I said I wouldn't mind watching a slice of life about knb, and it's still true now ;-; I tried getting into fujimaki-sensei's other manga about baseball....but eh.. it just didn't hook me.. if it were to become an anime though, I think I'd be interested
I think I need to have a listening spree of the new album hahahaha SAME I feel like with their self-titled, they really found their sound.. for me, it's THAT album that got me into them. I still remember the first time I ever saw Afterlife on MTV and what I was doing and how I reacted (and how I fell in love with Synyster Gates hahahaha) did you have a *favourite* member? ngl, I was a total fangirl for Syn (if my previous statement didn't give it away yet 😂) and I still have a reaaalllyyyyy soft spot for him when I look back at my teenage self, but in its entirety I've definitely grown out of it and just respect each band member as a musician and artist
I wouldn't say it's amazing, but more of a convenience. so if you're on your phone most of the time, it's handy to have. although I preferred it in the past where the customization was minimal lmao just so there are fewer things to fuss about.. now you gotta make a theme for a desktop version AND mobile version.. yeah.. and I think most of the users now prefer to just like stuff or passively scroll through the app.. oh true.. before, a mutual's mutual would more often be in the same fandom as you and it was THAT easy. now, it's hard to even begin where to look.. it's nice to see those old posts from time to time. like it's still alive after all these years 😂 (lol yeah on other social media, a post either dies out or is reposted—which I find really annoying. I see the same post 10 times but from different usernames..like talk about originality) I was on twitter for a while until it became X which sucked 🫤
awww hahaha gotta thank that stray cat 😂
thank you so much, I appreciate it 🥺 I've been doing some journaling.. I guess it's helping.. and just trying to ground myself with things I used to enjoy and surrounding myself with good company. though I really wish there was a fast forward button for recovery
really i didn't know he had a baseball manga! now that you mention baseball, have you seen diamond no ace? i remember watching quite a few episodes but i don't think i finished it, i think it was ongoing back then when i was watching. i wonder if i should get back to it...
DONT TELL ME YOU ALSO DISCOVERED THEM ON MTV LMAOOOO i saw the nightmare video there for the 1st time and got hooked !!! that's so funny, mtv used to be pretty good, found a bunch of bands on there back in the day. and yea i totally get you, syn was definitely the coolest!! i don't think i had a fav member but i found matt the most attractive back when he had super short hair >.> but when i saw them live in 2013 he had long hair so that was unfortunate hahahaha. what other bands are you into?? i've been obsessed with dir en grey lately if you don't know them you gotta check em out trust me on this one :p
wtf a theme for the mobile version, that sounds like a hassle. yep definitely ends up being like the more new features they introduce on social media, the more cumbersome everything gets, cause it seems like they don't even think em through more often than not..
you know what, another thing i find refreshing about tumblr nowadays is the lack of reels/shorts/tiktoks whatever they call short form videos lmao idk abt you but i never really got into them (unless they include some cute animals lol)
it seems like you're handling it in a healthy manner, i'm rly happy to hear that! 🌸 i know what you mean, but you really gotta take it a day at a time, it's gonna be much better for you in the long run than if you were to bottle up everything and "force" healing. you'll see, soon enough you'll be surprised to find yourself not even thinking about the person for several days. it happens naturally somehow, and you'll be an even stronger person mentally for having dealt with everything this way
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Teeth
Hawks x reader
Warnings! Nsfw/lemon/smut, biting, hairpulling, oral sex, unprotected vaginal sex no pull outs... He has exogenous zone between his wings...he can go feral... can't convince me otherwise... reader quirk works by getting saliva/venom on the victim. Long
~fight so dirty but you love so sweet~
When a hawk hunts it's first ever viper, sweeping in, catching the clueless creature and taking it back to the sky, it can go any of 3 ways. He's either succesful in incapacitating the viper and can feast on his prey later. Or the viper manages to land a venomous bite on him, in which case they fall to their doom. Now if they don't die from the fall, the viper is the one feasting on the paralyzed young hawk. Nature is a wild thing indeed with how fast the hunter can turn into the prey.
The first time he met you he was on his way somewhere else and he spotted you in a dead end , the only thing running through his mind was 'what a hassle.' His wings shuddering in agitation, the feathers ruffling noisily when he landed behind you in the dead end where you were toying with your paralyzed victim. A middle aged man whom you just mugged and was now making fun of as he could do nothing but watch you, standing there like a stone statue.
"That is not really fair is it, kid?" You turned around slowly and gracefully locking eyes with him "can't be any less fair than following and harassing an innocent little girl in a dead end. He picked the wrong person. Now he pays little price than he deserves, Birdie." You mocked back crossing your arms and taking a nonchalant pose. Though he could tell just how tense and ready to jump you were under that posture. Like a coiled snake. So that was the problem, now he knew why his nerves were on fire when he spotted you. He raised an eyebrow "you don't strike me as an innocent little girl though." You smiled sweetly as you freed the guy from your paralysis who stumbled and scrambled away and out of sight apologizing. "So what? That's what you're into, hero? Innocent little girls? Please." You emptied the content of the man's wallet right in front of Hawks and put it in your back pocket before throwing the wallet to the side. Looking up at his annoyed expression playfully keeping your smile. "Alright! That's it. You're coming with me for theft." You raised your hands in front of you submissively as if ready to get cuffed "oh no, he gonna chain me up." He wasn't amused as he stepped forward grabbing your shoulder to turn you around. That's when in a heartbeat you striked, pushing him off towards the wall and stepped back from him. You were fast, but so was he blocking your way when you tried to make a run for it "nice try. That all you got?" He said casually squeezing his shoulder where you hit but you could tell he was slightly distressed by your speed. "Oh you should not have said that." You grinned raising your hand that was holding one of his crimson feathers between your thumb and forefinger firmly but delicately. "It's okay, I can grow more of those, don't worry about it." He smirked walking back towards you. His smirk was easy to like. It was not like yours, it was calming. You ignored his comment as you brought the feather up to your lips, his steps faltered and came to a halt watching you intently. Your tongue darted out and licked up the side of it, sucking it into your mouth and pulling it out, making a show of it for the winged hero, loving the way his feathers fluttered and shuddered in response "oh, and that's what you are into, huh?" He said trying to sound sarcastic but as intrigued as he was it sounded like a genuine question. He wanted to know what the hell you were doing. You chuckled dropping the feather and stalking towards him. The feather fell limp to the floor much to his surprise. But he was in for a much bigger surprise. When you were only inches away from him, he went to grab you. And he couldn't. He couldn't move a single muscle below his neck. "What the... how did you-" he fell quiet inspecting you as you let your hands wander under his coat and ran your fingers up over his abs, over muscles that were prominent through his skin tight suit before reaching up and grabbing his shoulders to use as leverage and pull yourself up to his ear. "You're lucky I like you, cause if not, this is still not 'all I've got'." You repeated his phrase from earlier your tongue lightly brushing over the shell of his ear, enjoying the way he tensed up even more under your touch. "Okay... I really should not have said that I guess..." he scoffed and You moved your lips to his shoulder sliding his coat off only a little "too late." You sunk your teeth in his shoulder through suit and all making a loud hiss escape his lips. His smart mouth wasn't going to quit it though "ow, that's definitely going to leave a mark. what a kinky little thing you are." You chuckled fixing his coat up and stepping back, turning on your heels to leave "you can move again soon, see you around hero." And with that you were gone."Damnit..."
~call me in the morning to apologise, every little lie gives me butterflies~
It was truly a hassle explaining to the nurse who patched him up that it was just a cat that bit him, right on the shoulder, clean and no bleeding. Only a little less bothersome than admitting his embarassing defeat. He hadn't seen you since, and it's been two weeks. During which the clear set of teeth marks on his shoulder remained, unchanged, as if only just bitten into his skin moments ago. He couldn't dig up anything about you, and damn he tried, knowing his resolve and resources it was saying something. No one had heard of you. Were you even a villain? "Tsk." He traced his fingers over the mark as he craned his neck to look at it in the mirror before sticking the bandage back over it, covering it up with his shirt. Not a moment of his days went by without having you in somewhere in his mind, taunting him, haunting him... and what annoyed him was that it did not ALL relate to his embarassing paralysis in that dead end. He imagined and thought about you way more than just that. He headed out on his day off, to the bar, definitely for gathering info. Of course.
He stepped off into the cold night air and looked up at the sky, stiffening ever so slightly, invisible to the untrained eye. "Speak of the devil, ey?"
You pushed yourself off the wall where you were leaning against and approached him as he turned his head towards you, hands still in your pockets. "Aw, were you thinking about me? Do you happen to do it often?" You smirked, eyes trailing over his face to his shoulder where you've put your little art piece then back to his eyes. His eyes narrowed immediately, turning towards you and getting in your face "you did something to me didn't you?! I knew it!" He growled under his breath glaring at you realizing he had put his hand instinctively over his wounded shoulder to cover it. You put your hands up in the air as if surrendering and looked up at him sincerely, his wound started throbbing for some reason. "Yeah I did. But... I decided you probably don't deserve it. I mean... you were just doing your job. So. I've come to help you remove it." He blinked a few times looking at you unamused "riiight." You rolled your eyes "right!" He frowned and tilted his head to the side "...right? Really?" You groaned pushing him towards the door "ugh you're even more annoying than I remember. Let's go inside." He raised an eyebrow with a hand on the knob still uncertain of your intentions "do you usually invite yourself in people's house like that? Cause I'm not sure you're the type of gal I want to pick up and take home with me..." 'well ouch' He was right not to trust you but you didn't have all night "listen jerk, do you want to get rid of this or not?!" you hissed at him, and as you expected his feathers ruffled at the sound before you could even touch his shoulder. It was in his nature to find it threatening after all. It was kinda cute. He braced himself for you to be nasty and squeez his wound or something but your hand just lightly brushed over his coat, he barely even felt it "okay okay! Sheesh." He opened the door and stepped aside for you to get inside.
~talk so pretty but your heart got teeth~
"So what were you thinking about?" He was taken aback by the sudden question as he closed the door behind him turning to find you make yourself comfortable on the couch. Your question was out of the blue, yes, but it shouldn't have made his so distressed. "Nothing...?." He lied. You sighed "I can't help you like that." Silence filled the room as the two of you stared each other down before you decided to relent "look. The venom in the bite-" he gasped at the words "venom?!" You looked at him unfazed making him feel embarrassed by his own outbursts "sorry, do go on." He gestured for you to continue. "... the venome will eventually make you hallucinate. And it will remain there till you do as it tells you. So I need to know what you've been thinking about most. By the little time that has passed I don't think you are at the point of hallucination yet, yeah?" He was now more anxious about his thoughts by the things you just told him. "I don't hallucinate... do I just start hallucinating random things?... are you some kind of mobile LSD fairy or something?" He frowned at you for real this time making you sigh. "You hallucinate what you want and desire at the moment of the bite, I don't have control over it. So... yea I guess I am." You looked down and he immediately felt terrible "I didn't mean it like that... I just...sorry..." he had no idea why he was apologizing. You were the one who bit him. And he didn't recall you apologising even once so far. "It's fine, I understand." You looked back up at him and cocked an eyebrow "now that that's out the way, much like yourself I don't want to be here anymore than I need to. You can probably take care of the matter on your own from now on. Goodbye birdie." You got on your feet and walked for the door but just as you were going to pull it open his hand shot up from behind you and pushed it back closed. It was your turn to get anxious heart sinking and the hair on the back of your neck standing on end, he was looming over you from behind and you could feel his hot breath on the back of your neck and see the shadow of his wings spreading intimidatingly behind you both. "Actually, in that case, YOU are so not done here."
~Late night devil put your hands on me
And never never never ever let go~
"Uh..." you slowly turned around pushing yourself back against the wall and looking up at him to see the easy smirk from before back on his face, eyes half lidded, dripping with confidence "I don't... um... what do you m-mean?" He raised a hand and brushed a finger on the side of your jaw, stroking it lightly as he leaned in closer "it's you I was thinking about the whole god damned time. The way you'll look, they way you'll sound. The way you'll taste. You said you will help me fulfill my hallucinations." He looked down over your form taking his time as he did so before his eyes landed back on yours "do you still want to help me?" He was actually asking. Despite the way his voice faltered at the thought of getting rejected there was a choice in his question. You could refuse. But why would you? He was hot. Annoying. But still hot. "So you got to be on LSD to take girls like me home?" You scoffed crossing your arms over your chest, the way the shadow of his wings covered you making you uneasy. He smiled apologetically "in my defense, last time we met you assaulted me in a dead end, gal." You huffed "(y/n)." His smile brightened as he watched you intently "Keigo. So (y/n), what do you say?" You hummed looking thoughtfully, almost shamelessly down his form, raising a hand and barely brushed your fingers against his crotch before pressing them firmly to his abs and chest. His chest tightened in anticipation as he felt his stomach drop. Maybe it was just for now and how you were touching him, maybe it was for the way his wounded shoulder throbbed, knowing this was almost exactly what happened before he got bitten last time. "I don't know Keigo, I kinda get the feeling you actually like the bite. A lot." Your hand traced his shoulder now leaning up to kiss it softly from over his clothes, him inhaling in sharply "oh to hell with it, you make me want to give you more, birdie."
~don't know if you love me or you want me dead~
He walked you back towards the bed, hands cupping your cheeks on both sides, his lips locked on yours. His hands moved down the sides of your neck, slipping your shirt off to expose your shoulders and pushing you down so you sit on the bed, loving the way you were already panting breathlessly from his kiss, flushed. He pulled his shirt off still standing over you with his signature confident smirk, throwing it to the side. You smirked back as you leaned in pecking his abs before dragging your lips over them, looking at his eyes through your lashes as you moved down and mouthed over his crotch, making him shudder, watching as those same abs rippled ever so slightly. He ran his fingers through your hair letting out a shaky breath "I'm sorry if I don't trust those teeth anywhere around that area, baby girl. Plus you already know how I taste. It's my turn." You rolled your eyes leaning back on your arms behind you as he leaned in and pulled your pants off along with your panties "fine, birdie." Your blush darkening as it creeped to the tips of your ears. He huffed kicking off his jeans and kneeling in between your legs grabbing your thighs "it's Keigo." He gripped your legs and pulled you to the edge of the bed before you could retort, only managing to let out a gasp. He smirked releasing your legs when over his shoulders running his hands up over them, kissing your inner thighs, his stubble scratching lightly over your sensitive skin making you wriggle a bit. His hands grabbed your hips tightly pressing you firmly to the bed "oh no you don't." You looked down at him to whine quietly. A choice you immediately regretted. Holding eye contact he buried his face between your legs and plunged his tongue right in. You gasped arching your back, hands shooting up to grip his hair. He hummed delighted by your rich reaction, moving his face closer, nudging his nose against the sensitive bud, as his tongue switched between lapping up your juices and thrusting in through your soft, fluttering folds. You a whimpering writhing mess under him. The soles of your feet not too gently brushing against the base of his wings on his back, where they were connected through his skin, along with your fingers tangling and tugging his hair had him groaning and moaning deeply into you. He removed his tongue only to lick up a wet hot line up to your bud latching onto it and sucking just as two of his fingers pushed inside at once giving you no time in curling up and rubbing against the spot you wanted them to. "Shit! Kei-go!" You moaned loudly, your toes curled and your thighs squeezed his head as he chuckled pushing your hips down further on the bed with an arm over your belly, nails digging in your hip where they rested. The pleasure had you seeing white and Right as you were about to get tipped over the edge of your climax he stopped. His fingers and lips, all gone. "Pay back is a bitch, huh?" He wiped off his glistening wet face with his hand as You whined desperately and squeezed your legs shut when he removed them from his shoulders grinning at you "you jerk!"
He leaned over you grabbing your loose sweatshirt and pulling it over your head reaching behind you to unclip your bra as he kissed your neck "let's free these lovely things first." You huffed still annoyed but soon it started into contented sighs and quiet moans as his kisses and nips moved down to your chest. His teeth grabbed your nipple in a sharp nip and you mewled grabbing the back of his neck, your other hand moving lower between his wings. As your nails dug right in the spot between the two giant heaps of crimson feathers, he let out a loud breathy gasp freeing your abused nipple from his surprisingly sharp teeth. Evil flashed in your eyes as you smirked down at him when he gulped and looked up at you "...no." his voice was shaky "oh yeah." You replied raking your fingers on the same spot. His giant wings shook, the feathers rustling as he hissed through his teeth, grabbing your breast harshly in one hand and pulling you closer with the other fisted in your hair, crashing his lips onto yours with a feverish hunger. You were shocked, moaning into his mouth. His reaction was thrilling and you wanted to see more, tightly grabbing onto the base of his wings this time digging your nails there. He sneered and growled loudly in your mouth, sounding feral. You whimpered at the sound the reaction you got more than you bargained for. "On your hands and knees, (y/n)." He barked urging you up by his hand, still tightly fisted in your hair pulling you up. You gasped scrambling up to turn around and do as he had told you. His fingers dug in your hips and he pulled you back onto himself, in one fluid thrust, your pussy already gushing around him from his earlier change of tone. You cried out as you gripped the sheets in front of you. His wings were distracting as they spread once, engulfing you in their shadow. It felt safe, but extremely dominating. Or rather quite deliciously. He tucked them back behind himself when he leaned down over you, one hand still on your hip and the other running up your spine gripping the back of your neck tightly. He pulled back out right to the crown of his cock, before snapping his hips back inside all the way, at the same time his teeth sinking in your skin over your shoulder blade, drawing another loud cry from your throat. He set a brutal pace as his teeth worked on littering your back with bites and nips. "F-fuck!... Kei... shi-... Keigo!" Your breath coming out in short moans and gulped in with high pitched gasps. His fingers creeped from around the back of your neck towards your throat, squeezing it tight and firm, your breath and voice hitching as the thrill ran down your spine straight to your core, folds fluttering around his rock hard cock. He pulled you back up by your throat so your back was flush against his chest, your hand reaching up to claw at his wrist, squealing. His hold was not suffocating, just restricting the amount of air you were allowed. The new angle made his cock poke and drag over your walls, sending you right into your much desired orgasm eyes rolling to the back of your head. He was panting heavily and movements faltering and sloppy from holding you and himself up like that. Your cunt clenching around him, milked him dry, him moaning and biting your shoulder one last time. He remained inside you as you both came down from your highs, removing his hand from your throat to your shoulder, stroking one of his own bite marks lightly. He pulled out and let you drop on your belly with a tired sigh turning into a heavy strained "oof!" As he fell over you playfully, barely careful not to crush you. "Fuck, (y/n). Looks like I did all the biting this time." He laughed as he held himself up on his forearms gently kissing and soothing your sensitive skin. "Shut up...damn... I'm gonna bite you again if this is what I'm gonna get every time." You muttered tiredly. "I was right. You are a kinky little thing." He smirked laying down next to you this time, draping an arm over your waist and nuzzling your neck "you can bite me whenever you want, baby girl. I'm in."
~push me away, push me away
Then beg me to stay, beg me to stay~
Hey hey hey @queensynderella
#hawks x reader#takami keigo x reader#hawks x reader smut#hawks x reader lemon#hawks#takami keigo#bnha smut#bnha#mha smut#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#takami keigo x reader smut#takami keigo x reader lemon
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The Weirdos and Normals I Loved Chapter 22-23
22./42 H, along love part 4: Berlin and Almost dead Warning: sexually explicit text, reference to death
We had been to Berlin together. It was beautiful, and we had a lot of fun. But the first day I got there I was sick. I wanted to stay inside and rest the first day, but she didn't agree. I felt dizzy and yet I had to go with her to everything, and then she started complaining again that I 'didn't say anything'.
Back in Belgium she often told how she was viewed by other men, some even said things like: 'If I could I would give you so much love." I was a little jealous. I was always rejected, while the men just came after her.
She started to complain more and more about things. I once had to buy chocolate for her mother, but it had to be sugar-free. So, I bought sugar-free chocolate, but her mom doesn't like that, so I bought sugar-free chocolate from someone other brand, but that wasn't good either, so I had to buy chocolate with sugar from that one brand. It was a long foolish hassle.
Another thing she often said was that I was spoiled. What did she even mean by that? I had bought my computer and mobile phone with my own pocket money, for which I had done holiday jobs. While she also had a computer and cell phone, and her family owned FOUR cars. FOUR CARS. One for her mother, one for her father, and her brother had a car, but then got a company car. H. then got that second-hand car from her brother. Okay, so three cars. But still, three cars? My family always had only one. I had worked hard for my Bachelor's degree and was busy for my Master's. I didn't feel the need to travel far or go to a restaurant. I really don't get where she got this idea from.
Her friendship with Josefien had come to an end, and she was having a really hard time dealing with it. She kept talking about it for months. Sure, losing people can hurt. But it was, just kinda weird. I also had a lot of old friendships that have faded. Why was this so bad? I was there for her, and I supported her. Even now I hope she is happy. I also had a sleeping problem all my life, which often made me tired with her. She does have a point, although there's not much I can do about it.
She also liked to ask rhetorical questions. Like "How do you think I feel about that?" and then I said "You're right." I understood what she wanted to say, but then after a while she suddenly said "You still haven't answered my question!"
We had dinner together with her family and I talked about how healthy eating is actually a good investment, something I had read. You buy some sports equipment and food that seems expensive at first glance, such as whole wheat bread, nuts, fruits and vegetables, but you save a lot of future hospital costs. While I was talking, her mother went to the bathroom for a moment, while her father listened with a smile. Afterwards my girlfriend was angry with me. For some reason, her mother was offended by this and had started crying in the toilet. Poor woman, this was not my intention at all!
She also often asked if I wanted to meet her and her friends, but she never said what time it was, where it was, and how to get there. Was she going to take me by car or did she want me to take the train?
In the meantime I had read about spices, they are healthy, especially if you use different spices. I often put spices on my food, chicken spices, turmeric, pepper, cinnamon in my yogurt, and so on. She told me not to do this because it was rude. She was a really weird girl.
Sometimes I would share something interesting that I'd heard or read, even things I'd learned for college, and she'd often say, "You're wasting your time learning about everything." And sometimes her family would say "How do you know that?" like it was weird to know things. In retrospect, this was a great compliment. Most people play four hours a day games or watch stupid series, but I like learning things more. And if I know so much that it's even 'weird', well then I'm doing a good job. I may be weird, but at least I know a lot. I'm not smart though, just curious.
She also complained that I drank too much water. "You should only drink when you are thirsty." And so did I. She said that my water consumption was unhealthy and that if I ended up in the hospital because of this she would not help me. As if I drank ten litres of water one after the other. Really bizarre. She said I drank too much water and ate too much chocolate, but she was the one who was overweight and drank soda constantly.
We also had a near death experience. H., Paul and I went to the Hare Krishnas in Durbuy. H. took us by car on the way there, she had to take a bend, along the highway, and it had just rained. The car slipped. I held on and felt my body rushing with adrenaline. I closed my eyes. I was scared, but all I could do was let it happen. The car came to a stop. The car was in the grass, half in the bushes. Luckily we didn't hit a single tree. We were all okay, all three of us. H. was very responsible then, because she drove back a bit, turned and drove on.
People were honking and yelling like we did it on purpose, just for fun. We drove on and arrived in Durbuy. H. and Paul were playing cards and I said we should leave now, for the tour.
"Ah, google maps says it's only a half hour walk." I said: 'Yes, but you can count on that double, since we are not walking fast and will probably take a wrong road'. They didn't believe me, and continued to play. We left, took a wrong turn, and walked below the 'google maps speed'. We were late for the tour…which I found very unfortunate, I wondered how the Hare Krishna's lived and what they believed in.
We slept together in a rented house. H. and I together, and Paul in another room. I had, as a joke but actually serious, suggested a threesome, but they both thought it was very, very foul. To each their own. I don't even know if H. and I had sex then, our relationship was going downhill.
I always said I wanted to make art, I have so many stories in my head that I want to tell. We were both creative, so we understood this at the beginning. I wanted to work part-time and be an artist part-time. Later, however, J. complained that this was unrealistic. She'd say things like "I'm going to be turning jars at the factory while you can be the lazy artist." and "What are we going to eat then?" Sorry but food is not that expensive, and in Belgium the poor are assisted very well.
They usually get food and shelter, in addition there are many edible plants such as dandelions, clovers, daisies and nettles. If necessary, you can catch a few pigeons and insects for protein. You might think I'm joking, but these are weird times these days, so you never know when we're going to have to live off nature.
Whenever she felt bad she would message me and I had to reply IMMEDIATELY. I loved her, and of course I don't want her to be sad. But I felt like a court jester, whenever she felt bad or bored, I had to do a show and send messages. She had a lot of friends, so I don't understand why she didn't send them if there was something wrong. I was there for her, but I couldn't drop everything for her every five seconds and message her for half an hour.
She was also always mad because I hadn't gotten my driver's license yet. She hated that "she had to drive that far" when she came to me. While it was very long for me to go there by train. I didn't have time to get my driver's license because of all the schoolwork. But that's why she kept calling me lazy.
Throughout our relationship, we had the habit of skyping or chatting in the evenings. But her internet was bad, so it was a hassle to get it right. But usually we did something else in the meantime, she played pokémon and I watched a series, or worked for school. At the end of the relationship we almost always argued, I don't even remember why. It was then 10pm or 11pm and I had to wake up in time for school. So I said several times that I was going to sleep, but she just wanted to argue. So I just went offline and went to sleep. She would then complain "Ah you think that's normal, we discuss something and you just say "goodnight" and go to sleep!" What did she want me to do? Fight all night?
She always said "I have to adapt to you, but you don't return anything." I didn't even know how she adapted to me, and didn't even dare to ask anymore.
What she also often said: "My grandma and grandpa sometimes come to visit and ask where you are. How should I feel about that?" Who cares what two elderly people say? And now I suddenly had to live with her and her family all day? I did not get it.
In the end, I had to lie a lot to survive this relationship, and to make sure I had enough time for my schoolwork. In hindsight, we should have broken up long ago. But we were both desperate, unsure.
I often have to go to the toilet, I've been like that all my life. But H. didn't understand that exactly and found it irritating, and she's the only one in my life who found that so annoying. So then I started saying I had diarrhoea, something she often suffered from. So then she acted normal about it.
As I said, there were always a lot of family gatherings with her, and they were extremely long, either from 1pm to 8pm or from 5pm to 2am past midnight. For example, I had to escape by saying I had a stomachache, or that I had to be home at 6 pm because my parents had made fries, and had agreed to eat dinner together, etc… Hardly anything was said during the celebrations. Grandpa sometimes talked about the past and his life, that was interesting, but that was it. They always started smoking next to me, inside, very healthy, delicious! The party was so boring that they looked at someone parking a car, to see if he would hit the mirror of the car next to him. I suspect that family had an exciting life. All you could do against the boredom was eat, eat and eat. Cakes and biscuits, very healthy. I had finally adapted and tried to dance along, I tried to let go of all my irritations, H. liked that, but it was too late.
Because she was often jealous of Paul, I sometimes didn't tell her I met Paul. Something she often did was playfully take my cell phone. She did this once and saw that I had arranged a meet with Paul. She literally cried. I liked her, and I didn't like it when she felt bad. She said "Am I such a monster that you have to hide this from me?"
In retrospect, maybe yes. I'm just platonic friends with him, we don't even have sex, why is she so jealous?
She wanted to see me so often, and I had so much schoolwork that last year, so I lied that I had to go to school on Wednesdays even when there was no class.
23./42 H, a long love part 5: Almost Cheating and The Last Feast Warning: sexually explicit text, paedophilia My train once had a breakdown, so I had to get off at a stop between REDACTED TOWN and my home city. So I thought I'd have a drink, as I had to wait for my next train. I was looking for the least sleazy cafe. I went to the cafe which was the quietest, but actually it was the most soundproof cafe as there was tremendously loud music as soon as I opened the door. I went to the toilet and wanted to order a coffee. A dancing man motioned for me to sit next to a woman. She was in her 30s, maybe even in her early 40s. We chatted for a bit, but she started saying all sorts of weird things like: My "girlfriend wasn't any good" and I "needed an older girl" that I "looked mature for my age." She tried get in my pants, but did she have bad intentions? Was she after my money? Because she said she used men. I was completely confused, the temptation was great, but I had to stay true to H. I finished my coffee and left immediately. On the train, I realized I had forgotten to pay. But I dared not go back, what is she seduced me? I told this to H. and she was offended by that woman.
Her brother liked to drive his company car, and he drove very fast, and did not distance himself from vehicles before him. One night, a car in front of him suddenly braked. As a result, he had to swerve and ran over a man who had gone for a walk with friends. The brother got out to help the man, but one group of friends wanted to beat him up, while the other group of friends stopped them. Someone called an ambulance and the man was taken to hospital with serious injuries. The brother saw this event playing in his head over and over again and suffered from nightmares. I suggested that maybe he could see a psychologist as this sounded like trauma, but H. said this was a waste of money.
The last family party was pure hell. They had found some dumb reason to celebrate. Her aunt was with her boyfriend for a year. They had rented an entire hall for that to celebrate, where did they even get the money from? I had to be there until 2 am, because until then there was food. "Leaving early was rude because aunt had paid for the food." You could barely talk because of the loud music. I sat there with a stroboscope light in my eyes, it was very annoying, so I went outside regularly. Which H. didn't like. One of the family members had a new lover, everyone talked about it, because she was Hot Marijke. A sex worker who had become famous on television. I suspect she was a lawyer to make sexuality more open to discussion. The brother was talking to an uncle, and at one point he touched his nose quite conspicuously. He and the uncle would then quickly walk to the toilet. Touching your nose is code for cocaine.
The aunt and her boyfriend had made a special video. It was a slide-show of the aunt and her boyfriend growing up apart from baby to adult. It took so long, and it was so boring, while the uncle tried to make silly jokes with his microphone. In the end, the aunt and uncle were adults in the photos. I was happy and saw the light at the end of the tunnel. But no, instead of time passing by, more and more photos from the same period were shown. It was like that nightmare where you want to run away, but you just go slower, and slower.
At the party, the most disgusting song in the world was played "She is only sixteen years old" in which a man sings in a West Flemish dialect with a big accent about how he lusts after a 16-year-old girl, but then decides to drool on her mother because she is an adult. I HATED this song. If someone said something like that, they would immediately be sent to jail, but for some reason that song had become a hit. At that moment I went out, I walked around for five minutes, I hoping it was over, but I came back and was greeted by the whole family going wild, with elderly twerking aunts, to a remix of the "she is only 16 years old" song.
It was past noon and I lied to H. that I had a stomachache. I could relax in her car and I did some reading. I longed to have my own driver's license so I could leave whenever I wanted or when I was too tired. I tried to complain as little as possible, I didn't want to lose her. But she complained about how I went to toilet and outside too often.
We also were going to meet up with her friends. Her friend 'John' had created a facebook event for it. The location was in 'The Wine Chatteau'. I didn't know where that was at all. I asked my love how I could get there but she never answered, finally she said ask him. I asked him but John never replied either. Finally I said to her: "Look, if I don't know where it is, you can't expect me to be there." I always like to plan how I'm going to get somewhere.
She always talked about Robbe, and how cool he was, and how they played Facebook games together. Facebook games….. It was a silly quiz where you basically gave away all your personal information. She wanted me to play those games with her too. I didn't have time for it, and I Facebook was already stealing more than enough information from us.
For a moment I thought our relationship was getting better. That she appreciated that I went to the party and danced along.
She complained less and there was no arguing until one night. We were arguing again, I don't even remember about what, it was late so I said 'goodnight and went to sleep. As always I put my cell phone on air-plane mode. That way I don't wake up when a friend sends me a message at 12 am, and that way I don't get bothered at 4 am by e-mails from the USA and such. Recently, I always set my cell phone to "Do not disturb." I continue to use my cell phone, but I'm never bothered by it from advertisers etc. Wonderful. Anyway, I forgot to put my cell phone on air-plane mode, and I got a call from her at 1am. She was upset and crying. "I don't know what to do anymore." she said. 'I also do not know it.' I said surprised. I tried to comfort her. We were talking about living alone. She said ironically, full of venom "Yeah if we live together that would be easy, wouldn't it." I really don't understand what this was all about, so I just said, "Yes." I tried to comfort her further and I said "We are both very tired, we need sleep, we will discuss this tomorrow okay?" I laid down. And put my cell phone on air-plane mode.
It's true at night you are exhausted, both mentally and physically, small problems suddenly seem like giant monsters, that's why many people suffer from insomnia. The problems are swirling in their heads, asking for a solution, when you have to think about things during the day, while taking a walk or doing chores, not when you are exhausted, without a clear mind. The worst part was that she would call Paul out of bed. Jesus…
I was afraid of losing her. We were together for 5 years. I knew I had autism and was weird, was I ever going to be able to find someone like her? Someone who accepted me for who I was? Or was I doomed to be lonely? Depressed full of loneliness or worse, a rapist? These were my toxic thoughts. I thought one day she would see how she worried about nothing, that all her ideas of "how everything should be" were just arbitrary nonsense standards that her family had imposed on her and which she had imposed on herself. I thought she was finally going to let go of all her complaints and frustrations, but instead she dropped me.
She sent an ominous message "We need to talk." This came in like a bomb. We agreed.
It was September 19, 201X. She was parked not far from my house. I sent the Evangelion quote "You are worthy of my grace, it means I love you.' Evangelion was the thing that connected us first. So it seemed good to end with that. I got in the car and she didn't know where the qoute came from, or what I meant by it. She gave me a letter, she said it was hard to put into words so, she wrote a letter. It was full of her lamentations again, I still have it somewhere, though I don't know where. She said she broke up with me. I was a sweet boy, she said, but she couldn't anymore. She hoped the best for me. I accepted it, it was what it was, and I couldn't force her to stay in a relationship. She also said, "You can try tinder now." it was weird that she said this, but hey, she set me free, and i saw this as permission to experience free love. I had to redo my year, but it was only my paper that I had to redo. So I finally had a year with a lot of time. Plenty of time for H. but it was too late. Now I know she was right, she needs a man who can work hard and earn some money, which I couldn't do, I was a dreamer, a thinker, a writer, a woman.
#prog rock#country#midieval rock#rock#progrock#nostalgia#melancholia#life#love#relation#writing#written#blog#personal#irl#drama#real#weird#diary#daily#germany#german#berlin#break up#ending#heartbreak#open heart
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Since I am preparing to a small get away and packing my gear, after handling my swords my eyes were drawn to hers...
Because holy shit... how this stays on her back? This is a huge ass zweihander judging by the hilt... and the single belt across the chest is not going to hold that weight securely.
Back scabbard needs to sit snuggly against your well... back. It needs to be at the angle to both prevent you from kicking the sword or tripping on it when walking around and allow a draw - you can't pull the sword out if it hangs too straight down your back. The harness also need to wrap around the ribcage - or below the bust for women preferably, if they wear clothes accentuating the bust line.
But the "around the ribs" rule is key. If you pull the belt any lower, they will interfere with waist mobility and you don't want that when you fight. When you are a lady, placing the belts - one that goes across the chest and another wrapping around the other side of your ribs - below the boobs provides some extra protection from shifting.
I know. I wear such scabbard whenever I play the witcher and I am well acquainted with the bloody hassle of wearing and ill fitting harness and scabbard. Not to mention I already made two such sets and why I can't toot my own horn, the friend who I made the second set for is beyond satisfied with it.
Now another problem with this is the sword itself. I can't see the whole thing, but just by the handle I assume this is a zweihander.
Zweihander swords were huge, weighting on the average 2,2-2,5 kg and being up to 213 cm in length. Now a bastard sword I use and carry on my back would weight around 1,3-1,5 kg if made of steel and is 120cm long.
Weight is not the issue here. If the blade is balanced correctly the user doesn't even really feel it once it's familiar to him. but the length...
My sword is once again 120 cm long. It has 25cm long hilt and 95cm long blade. I am about 180cm tall. And I can draw comfortably only because my back scabbard has a slit. The slit in my case is cut through little over 1/3 of the whole scabbard. For my friend who is well over a head shorter than me I had to cut the slit about 12 cm deeper so she could draw and it makes notable difference in the overall rigidity of the scabbard.
Not to mention real swords are made of steel and scabbards are there to protect said steel from water so slits are not really a viable option inrl.
Now, I am quite tall. And if I draw pretending the scabbard is closed I can get out almost all 95cm of the blade out... almost. Last 5-7 cm are not getting out no matter how hard I try or how warmed up/ flexible I am... I mean you can grab the blade below the cross guard and get it out, but don't even get me started on sheathing it ^^'
So canon Galadriel is 6ft4in which translates to 193cm. Judging by the proportion of the hilt I'd say the thing on her back should be closer to 200cm then a bit more manageable 180cm, but let's go with 180cm here. Even if we subtract 45 cm for this huge ass hilt (btw you don't need that much length to use both hands comfortably) - we are still left with 135 cm long blade. 40 cm longer than my own blade and I am only 13 cm shorter than canon Galadriel.
Now the actress is likely a bit closer in size to me and likely has a smaller sword but it would still be A PAIN IN THE ASS to get out, uness she is pulling the harness off and tossing the scabbard away before each fight... which is possible, but idiotic nonetheless.
Your sword needs that scabbard.
So the points of the rant are a) this is a shit design that would cause nothing but misery and annoyance to the wearer, b) back scabbards look cool yes, but you are much better off with a pretty thing hanging at the hip, c) if Galadriel really had to have a sword, a bastard would be much more in tune of the swords we know from the... well canon.
And arguably, with what limited experience in fencing I have, bastards are the happy middle between having the length to keep your opponent at a distance and agility allowing all those fancy moves. Anything bigger than that and it tends to become cumbersome. You don't want a cumbersome sword.
But no they had to give her a huge-ass sword, because she is a huge-ass warrior that doesn't need no man... *sigh*
Thanks for coming to my TED-rant
You can say whatever about me, I don't care.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
Where does this say LOTR to you?
Not to mention that this armor really wouldn't clear any of the larps I usually play...
Seriously this picture tells me all I need to know about this show. This will be the Witcher all over again... except it will somehow hurt more
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I really really don't want to come across as rude or annoying, but sometimes it makes me sad when you reblog lots of popular stuff as soon as it comes out. I don't have money to see Infinity War right now and will probably have to watch it after it comes out. I'm not saying "don't ever reblog popular stuff ever nyeh! Cater to me bleh!" Just makes me sad always getting spoiled of popular stuff before I get the chance to see it and I can't blacklist since I'm on mobile..
well ill start by apologizing i suppose… i dont really mean to spoil anyone??? i just get excited and post whatever cause its kinda a “i know about that!!! it happened and i was part of it its exciting!!!” sorta thing. that also means i forget to tag at times because im… very enthusiastic about said thing.
that being said though they did add a filter to mobile. its like blacklist, but ive heard it is a bit more specific than xkit blacklisting. it still does its job tho and i use it quite a bit on mobile. go to your blog, click the gear, go into general, and the last option in the top section is called “filtering”. click that and add all the tags you dont want to see, and it acts exactly like blacklist (but the tag on the post must be exact to what you input which is a lil… hm), and from my experience, it even filtered the tags i put in on desktop as well.
that all being said i dont??? think ive posted any spoilers aside from one gifset of shuri being a gorgeous incredibly smart disney princess like she is clearly and like… maybe a one or two fanarts. and then a handful of memes about how many people died but no specifics except one warning post which was clearly labeled spoilers and no one was under any obligation to read. im sincerely sorry if that was enough for you to feel spoiled to a point youd send me this, and ill try and remember to tag my infinity war spoilers, but i see barely any infinity war on my dash aside from the “everyone died” memes so… my sincerest apologies, and ill try to remember to tag that from here on out. ill apologize once more as a preface for any posts i forget to tag, especially because i barely use tags on mobile because its so much of a hassle
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tell me if im being too nosy but what post is it that you're referring to? i don't really have any context for your recent posts but just from what you've said it actually sounds like something i might relate to? :) sorry to hear you're getting hassle for whatever it is though!
I don’t have the link because I’m on mobile, but its my Loki is polite in Ragnarok edit (just search for *mle you’ll find it if you really want to).Mainly people have been commenting on my posts saying I am wrong in my caption, with no regard to the fact that one I am British so the meaning is slightly different and two I was being sarcastic (given Loki is always the butt of the joke and a sarcastic character himself I thought people would find it… you know amusing?). Now it’s more ‘but Loki isn’t being polite because the actor is English and in English this means...’, well I could go on forever about this but I won’t, but suffice to say I’m English and I know the meaning of my own language.So I’m pretty annoyed and frustrated. Sorry I’m talking too much and ranting.Thank you for your sweet and kind words anon, and I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this. I guess it’s the price you pay when you make a post that’s popular.
PS you weren’t being too nosy. 😀
#charl answers#charls anon#negativity tw#I really need to stop talking about this but...#it annoys me that people don’t even make the time to ask me the meaning like this nice anon#it’s nicer and easier to ask than make rude comments on a post
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