#it's just sort of weird to be aware of others doing it/having done it tbh XD

[cursedchildofchaos]

when Kitty thinks she's pregnant but Alison whispers to her how it happens and she just looks at Julien, Robin, and Pat in horror eruivbiuervbhwei i died

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Since you've already talked about ships, what are your thoughts on the whole top/bottom debates here? Tbh I’m over this bottom tom/top harry trend these weeks. It doesn’t make sense for their dynamic and feels like pp are doing it just to be edgy or different. Flipping roles doesn’t make it unique, it just feels like flat ooc discourse. I don't think Tom’s pride and emotional repression fit a submissive role.

Holy shit, this is like a blast from the past since I haven't engaged with top/bottom discourse since 2014 (I had a different blog then) and I hoped I was past these days.

See, fictional characters, when it comes to this sort of stuff, are very flexible. You can write yourself into almost anything and make it realistic. Even if a character is a certain way, circumstances and conditions in a specific story will force the character to change to accommodate. It's how fictional characters work. Yes, they have their set traits, but they can still be pushed to do quite a bit. Especially when it comes to smut.

So personally, I don't have a fixed top/bottom designation for any of my ships. All of them switch depending on the situation, preferences, and the specific story being told with them. Becouse, contrary to what you think, the bottom position isn't always submissive and the top one isn't always dominant, and whatever sex position you prefer doesn't necessarily indicate anything regarding how submissive/dominant you are. These are not the same thing.

But if we talk about Tomarry/Harrymort specifically (I haven't really interacted with this pairing in some time, and I wrote my thoughts about them in general here), I only like them when they switch. "Mark him as his equal" and all that. My preferred Tomarry dynamic (back when I read it) was a constant push and pull, neither of them was ever the person in power/dominance in the relationship because they're equals — that's the point.

Harry isn't a submissive character either. Harry would never submit to Tom. Saying he is more likely to be submissive than Tom is OOC and a misunderstanding of his character. Harry doesn't bow down to others, so even when he is written as a bottom, he wouldn't be submissive about it.

Similarly, Tom can be written as a bottom without submitting control over to Harry. It can be done, and can be done interestingly (which is the most important thing when it comes to fanfiction and storytelling as a whole).

Tom is also weird and contradictory as a character. He's a control freak, so whatever position he's in, he'd have demands on how exactly things should go (he can do so both as a top or a bottom). But he's also so thirsty for validation and praise. I'm an advocate of Voldemrot having a praise kink, like, when I was writing my giant Voldemort psychoanalysis essays series from about a year ago the way I summarized it to my irl friends was "Voldemort has a praise kink" since his desire for praise is at the core of a lot of his important decisions.

Tom isn't some super dom who could never be vulnerable and doesn't have insecurities about anything — the guy literally tore his soul apart, what can be more self-hating than that!

Writing him as incapable of vulnerability and trust (eventually) feels like a boring and hollow character that is more cardboard than a person. Like, I have no interest in this sort of Voldemort because there is no spice to a character like that. No meat to chew on. And Voldemort in the books doesn't appear that way at all. He likes silly puns, and he forces others into his proximity when it seems he is vulnerable to make them uncomfortable; he doesn't like being vulnerable, but he's aware he has these vulnerabilities (imperfections he despises about himself). He talks at length about his muggle father because he's a sentimental loser who likes to monolog. He, somehow, still loves his mom. He wants to have a real human connection so badly that he completely missed what friendship means. He is a lonely nerd. He is impulsive and emotional. He likes to gossip about other people's relationships (yes, he does this in the books). He is a complex character you can have fun with, why limit yourself?

I used to like Tomarrymort becouse of the changes Tom's character would have to go through to be in a relationship with Harry. I read it because I love the idea of a character who got so used to hate and distrust, learning to be vulnerable. That was a huge part of what I found fun in these stories.

And Harry learned just as much from Tom in turn. He learned to like himself more, be confident in his abilities and cabalities. Learned that he has strengths beyond just Quidditch.

The fun is in this arc for both of them. Where they both become better (or, sometimes worse, depending on the story, but I usually preferred the ones where they got better) through their very explosive dynamic. They are foils and narrative mirrors, and pushing them together forces growth. And sex scenes in Tommarymort stories are an opportunity to explore that vulnerability, for both Tom and Harry. That's part of the appeal (at least for me).

For that kind of explosive dynamic that is inherently vulnerable for both of them, in my preferred Tomarrymort dynamic, they switch. (But so do all my ships. I'm against fixed top/bottom dynamics since the answer is it would be what serves the story/scene/themes/character arcs best)

[lotusarchon]

I had to make a whole google doc to sort my thoughts on this, that's how mad I am tbh. My friends have made explanations which you can find here, and here. And while I told myself that after that post I was done, seeing my friend receive a comment like this was the final pushing point I needed.

I'm both going to ramble about Nezha here again, and I'm going to try and explain this in a way that'll get people to understand, as someone who once followed an Eastern religion too + I'm going to be stating my basic thoughts here so maybe some things won't make sense.

Mild info about me: I'm from Trinidad. My family is described with East Indian descent but clearly, I'm not from India itself. My knowledge of Hinduism is rather basic because I quit religion thanks to traumatic experiences related to it, however not lacking fully. From my father's side, specifically his mother, they practice Hinduism and can even be considered devout Hindus (if I'm to believe all the statues and pictures of about almost every single Hindu god). Though my knowledge is basic, understand that I'm not Hindu nor Indian, so of course these are my opinions and my experiences with Hinduism, and I do not advise you taking my word fully to heart. I'm only trying to explain something to the LMK fandom in the best way I know how too, by referencing another Eastern religion that isn't half as popular as Daoism/Buddhism.

There's only one show I know where Hinduism is portrayed, and it's an anime/manga series called Record Of Ragnarok (Shuumatsu No Valkyrie), and from what I know it's not well liked by others (and even banned I think?) because of the fact Shiva is weaker than Zeus and the supposed sexualization of Parvati, Kali and Durga? It's been a while so I could be wrong on this though.

Why am I bringing this topic up to a rant about a lego character though?

#1) Fiction vs Religion and Reality

While one half expresses discontent and discomfort, I've seen others who clearly don't mind because Shiva is still badass and cool. I myself had some qualms about his appearance in the beginning because while I did quit religion, this was a god I used to worship, and seeing him in an anime/manga and be sexualized and simped for was…uncanny, to say the least. Overtime I grew numb to it though because it was genuinely funny and even I, an ex Hindu, found him attractive, and had not much hesitation writing smut about him in past fics. 

Similarly, I can imagine this is how Daoists and Chinese had originally felt about Nezha in Lego Monkie Kid [Only referencing LMK with Chinese deities. I'm aware there could be other media where they're in.] A bit weird at first but then overall got used to it because there's genuinely no harm done, as it's not meant to be an educational retelling of a god, but a fictional portrayal of him.

Returning to the point I mentioned with Shiva. When I first came across this series in 2021 (?), I did not feel too happy and comfortable with the image of a deity I've grown up worshipping as a child. I quit religion when I turned 13, so it's been nearly five years since I've had nothing to do with the main religion of my household; Hinduism. Still, I practically grew up worshipping this god I was taught to fear, and seeing a potrayal of him (which honestly in my opinion) didn't seem like a good thing at the time. 

Why did I eventually stop being bothered? Because this wasn't supposed to be retelling of Shiva. This was just a character with similarities to the god I worshipped, but wasn't the god. The series I watched wasn't even intending to teach audiences about any of the religions and real life figures they portrayed, they simply used them as inspiration to tell a story. They weren't accurate representations, but that was the point. It's a story about gods vs humans from history; of course it wasn't going to be accurate nor stay true to the figure they took inspiration from.

You can imagine then for a cartoon series meant to sell Legos. Lego Monkie Kid contains several characters that are known in Chinese myths and legends/religions. Of the most popular mentioned, there is Sun Wukong, one of the main characters in the series, Tang Sanzang otherwise known as Tripitaka and the Great Monk, Lady Guanyin mentioned in season 1, the one the fandom argues about, Nezha, the Jade Emperor in season 4, and most recently, Nuwa, and Heavenly Pagoda King, Li Jing. There may be others but these are the ones that are most known within the fandom. 

Mind you some of these figures are still very much worshipped now, but, point remains: the series was never intended to be a retelling of these characters stories, nor were they intended to be educational for audiences. They took inspiration directly, gave their own twists, and hence you have the story of LMK, meant to originally promote Legos and then eventually gave way to the series that this fandom belongs too.

These characters are not their source material, nor the origins of which they came from as religious figures. Sun Wukong is a Buddha within JTTW’s ends and if I'm right is still worshipped as such sometimes (?). He didn't hide away into a mountain at the end of his journey. His companions didn't die, nor were they reincarnated, but instead also acquired titles and became Buddhas as well. (Or gods? I frankly don't remember). Tang Sanzang as we've in season 4 was not some sort of brave, astute man in the book but rather a crybaby coward. Need I even point out that Nezha wouldn't have a giant mech to fight people, nor would he have such close deposition with the Jade Emperor? Or the fact that the Jade Emperor would be bested by someone like Azure Lion?

Not even counting Journey To The West and the Fengshen Yanyi, the real Tang Sanzang that Wu Cheng’en took inspiration of most certainly did not have a monkey, a pig, a water demon and a dragon turned horse with him on his journey. 

Why speak of all this?

To make my first point; religion and fiction are two very different things. Religion has existed for who knows how long, and fiction has recently decided to include fictional potrayals of these gods into stories and cartoons. From a writer's perspective, it's really interesting taking something that is a part of religion and writing it into your own works, with your own take on it.

And of course, brings me to the topic of Nezha.

Lego Monkie Kid Nezha is, according to an official writer within the show's team, an adult. Although many fans have their objections about this, supposedly because Nezha in other sources is a child god, and think that the writer only abruptly pointed out Nezha's an adult to save her own skin.

Taking all my points in consideration; let me humour the Nezha is a child god idea. What, exactly, does this have to do with Nezha in Monkie Kid? 

If Nezha, the god within Daoism and Buddhism, is supposedly a child deity, what law says that any other potryal of Nezha has to abide by this? 

By this logic. Shiva in the anime I mentioned above shouldn't be weaker than Zeus. He also shouldn't even be agreeing to fight mortals, as he's a deity far above such petty behavior. Zeus shouldn't be portrayed in books like PJO as a lecherous cheater, because in reality, Ancient Greece consisted of multiple kingdoms and thereby different interpretations of Zeus were merged together which is what consists of the myths we know of him today which is highly disrespectful, and Sun Wukong shouldn't be a mentor to MK, because he's supposed to be a Buddhist, and thereby wouldn't be entertaining fighting nuances.

Fiction doesn't not adhere to reality. The fact I need to say this astounds me because should this not be obvious? Lego Monkie Kid is a cartoon set in some sci-fi futuristic world with lego people walking around, where gods somehow need mechs to go around fighting, and there are animal-like demons/yaoguai walking around here and there. There is literally an arcade in the show with zero gravity. Do you possibly believe for a miniscule second that anything that goes down in a fictional setting will adhere to our reality??

And, even then, humouring the Nezha being a child deity concept > what law says that he has to be portrayed as a child in other pieces of fiction?? Especially when the fictional setting is not meant to be a retelling or for educational purposes, but rather to carry a plot. 

There is nothing, no law, no rules that insists that a religious figure must be portrayed as they are in a legend/myth for a fictional world.

Lego Monkie Kid Nezha is not the deity Nezha. He is a completely different character, which many of you should have realized from the exact moment he was brought into the show. They are not the same person. Never was. 

“Oh, it's disrespectful―” From a writer's perspective, I personally don't think so. If I wanted to make a story that involved a god, I wouldn't keep everything that makes that god who they are. There are some key points I would keep to make the story, but I would ultimately create an OC that shares some attributes to this religious figure, but it wouldn't be him. The show Record of Ragnarok does a good job with this in my opinion, because while many characters share some attributes to the real figures they're inspired by, the writers changed several things to create a proper story, and thereby making these characters OCs and not the actual gods themselves, and of course that logic applies to Lego Monkie Kid.

In the instance, again, Nezha the god from Daoism, is in fact a child deity, Nezha in LMK isn't. Nezha in LMK is someone who's entirely different from the god himself. 

So, the logic this fandom uses confuses me a lot. Do you not understand how to seperate fiction from religion?? Do many of you not understand media literacy, and what a writing process is like?

Sigh. Moving to another point―

#2) Character Designs

Sometimes, when it comes to character designs, anyone could just throw them into anything and think, “Yeah that's good.” Not much thought is given to a character's appearances depending, which I don't really blame as someone who's 1) done literature as a hobby and has seen my fair share of character designs, 2) creates characters myself. It's too hard thinking of a character's appearance, and even then when making them there normally wouldn't be any significance.

Nezha's design in LMK seems to be a huge source of debate when arguing about his age. It was actually brought up in my previous post, specifically that his hairstyle was often used by children at the time. 

I have a bone to pick with this point.

This is Nezha from Lego Monkie Kid:

However, this is Mei from the same show:

Before anyone starts, allow me to point out as a history geek that likes religion and pointless facts over politics: I am aware that there are different hairstyles to show certain things, including one's age and status and sometimes even personality. Do not bring up any points about the differences in these characters hairstyles with an excuse, “Oh, but you should know―”, because I know how hairstyles could be treated within history. 

However. Look at Nezha's hairstyle, and then Mei's. I've never seen the LMK fandom complain about Mei's age, because it was generally believed that MK and Mei are both at least 18 if not older, as the legal age for a driver's license in China is 18. 

Both Nezha and Mei are wearing a ‘bun’ type hairstyle. Mei's is arguably more of twin ponytails (?), but I'm not a hairstylist, so I don't know what they're called. To me they look similar, that's all I'm trying to say. And even if they weren't though―through a modern lense, a hairstyle isn't reserved for just any specific age. Anyone can wear a hairstyle they want. Keep in mind that the creators of LMK are also Western(?), and they chose a hairstyle for these two characters based on personality and appearances. 

A hairstyle is not reserved for any age. Grown women including my aunts have worn hairstyles similar to these just for fun.

That's point one.

Point two; Nezha is a very popular deity, much like Sun Wukong. In terms of recognition, Sun Wukong is very easy to recognize because of his staff and his overall cocky personality. 

Nezha however is an entirely different case. Most media potrayals of him always has the two-bun hairstyle of him, which is what makes Nezha recognizable. If you remove that specific hairstyle of his, you won't recognize him. It's iconic, and pointed out in this scene (The Legend of Hei) where Nezha makes an appearance as well.

[Characters sitting together. White haired boy (Hei + MC) looks at the older, dark haired boy (Nezha). Nezha looks back.]

Nezha: What? You want an autograph?

Hei: You're a boy?

Nezha: Yeah?

Hei: Your hairstyle is cute.

[Nezha looks in front with an annoyed expression.]

Nezha: If it weren't for the recognizability, I'd have changed it long ago.

Hei: Recognizability?

[Nezha removes the buns(? some form of them?) from his head. Three older figures glance at him.]

???: Who are you?

[Scene returns]

Nezha: See?

Aka, point being made: those buns are what makes Nezha recognizable. If he doesn't have that hairstyle, unless it's specifically pointed out, I'm certain majority would not recognize him. 

Some hairstyles are meant to be done for some form of meaning. But sometimes, as is the case with designs, they're just there just because no one wanted to make the characters bald. Using the excuse about Nezha's hairstyle to justify his age as a child is by far the lamest and dumbest excuse I've ever heard of, because the creators did not give him that hairstyle for the sake of some meaning anymore than MK was given his current hairstyle either. It's his logo at this point, ignoring his color scheme aside.

Even then, if the creators of Lego Monkie Kid intended for Nezha to be a child within the show, he would not appear as he is. Lego Monkie Kid has made children models, which we can see here (used from s3 and up in case someone tries to excuse the differences in seasons): 

And of course, Nezha's model;

Despite the perspective and low quality though, he's at least the same height as Red Son here:

If Lego Monkie Kid truly intended for Nezha to be a child, his appearance and model would be similar to the children's in the show. Perspective is difficult to find but you can clearly see he's about the same height as the other adult characters if not taller, and is not small like the child figures we see.

Pink isn't a children's color, and nothing about Nezha's clothing indicates a child. He very much looks like an adult and doesn't exhibit childish behavior as we see Red Son, Mei and MK do.

I've seen fans use his voice to point out he's an adult, but I'm not sure that's a valid point. I say this as someone who has a 13 year old brother and was recently a minor myself. 

Allow me to clarify: a voice isn't a clear proof of age. My father is a 45 year old man but sounds very much like a woman/teenage girl. My brother is 13 and sounds more of an adult than his father. My classmate in highschool was one year older than me and his voice was very high-pitched. 

The voice actors in LMK are directed to speak a certain way for a reason…in English. I'm not sure about Mandarin. In my opinion, Wukong's voice sounds like Son Goku's because it's a reference to the fact Wukong is what inspired Goku. Nezha's probably sounds deep and brooding not because he's a child but because it almost represents his own personality, and probably is a reference from another shonen protagonist Ichigo Kurosaki. MK's voice in the beginning sounds really childish to me but slowly as the events of s3, 4 and 5 happen it gets more deeper almost as a reference to show how his ‘innocence’ is slowly fading. 

Or, I might be looking to into it. Regardless, tdlr, don't use Nezha's voice in your argument. I've seen grown ass men have high pitched voices. 

Returning to my original point however; if you have an ounce of media literacy and understanding, you should be aware that some character designs are chosen for a reason. Nezha's icon is those two bun hairstyle, and the writers purposely chose it so old fans/readers of JTTW and FSYY and maybe other Chinese/Daoists would be able to recognize him and go, “Hey, that's Nezha from―”

Before I got into LMK, I read JTTW and also saw The Legend of Hei and the Nezha 2019 movie, so I knew him because of the hairstyle. And my first instinct of course was to point out, “That's the dude from TLOH!!” when I saw him. So, the hairstyle was chosen for the recognizability, and I highly doubt as a sign of age.

Even then, LMK Nezha aside, moving on to a different point.

#3) Sources Of Inspiration

The 21st century isn't really the first era where people are taking inspiration from other cultures. As a matter of fact, it's been happening for decades, and it's very prominent in religion, which someone of you would know if you both a) actually did proper research, b) gave a shit about what you're researching and c) studied history.

Hilariously, I have done all three of the above. 

I'm going to use a popular example here with Sun Wukong and Hanuman. Hinduism is supposedly largely considered one of the oldest religions in the world. If you truly think about it, certain Daoist deities are loosely inspired or are versions of Hindu gods, which I'm going to use here with a popular example (and provide a link too).

― Sun Wukong and Hanuman. The earliest Vedic records mention one of the supposed known monkey gods, and their similarities make scholars suggest Hanuman inspired Sun Wukong. Specifically his figure in JTTW, where it's speculated that the author must've had a copy of Vedic (?) hymns. While Sun Wukong does predate JTTW, Hanuman definitely has had some influence on him.

Much, much similarly, the deity known as Nezha, is also loosely inspired/based off the figure known as Nalakuvara, who appears in Hindu and Buddhist mythology, and often appears as a sexual trickster figure in Hindu and Buddhist literature.

Historically speaking, when it comes to religion and myths, something many people fail to understand is that before there was the idea of writing to tell a story, there was the process known as sharing from mouth to ear. Not in a literal sense, but rather that people often preferred to tell stories via word of mouth back then, and as things always go in history, there will be changes. The proof is literally right there. Nezha was originally known as Nalakuvara, yet when transmitted through Buddhist texts, he became known as Nazha, then Nezha. And as such, the Lotus Prince and Chinese god known as Nezha was created. A combination of Nalakuvara and the child god Krishna.

A lot of people will want to jump on that specific point that mentions Krishna being a child god, so allow me to immediately put you down right there.

Ex Hindu here; I did not even know there was a portrayal of Krishna as a child. Up until I stopped practicing Hinduism, I used to worship Krishna as an adult figure. In the paintings and statues my aunts had for Diwali as a child, he was always showcased as an adult.

Ironically, doesn't this apply for the actual god Nezha too? 

When it comes to religion and myths, many of you forget something very important; there is no such thing as a canon iteration. These aren't shows, these are stories from the past told through different people, and passed through many hands. There is no such thing as a canon version because almost everyone had their own version of a myth or story. Terms you may typically apply to fandoms don't apply to fucking religions and myths, and some of you are so chronically online that you forget it.

#4) The LMK Fandom's Chronically Online Attitude

I'm an ex Hindu who still faintly remembers some bits and pieces from my childhood while practicing this religion, especially during the Diwali period, where little me managed to get new information from library books about the gods my family worshipped. I personally didn't like sitting during the priest's (forgot what he was called) chanting though but the funny white thingy we used to have to wear was fun. 

There are some Hindu gods I'm familiar with, like Lakshmi, Kali, Durga and the other versions of her (I still can't recover from the one statue with her in a fish..) Parvati, Shiva, Vishnu, Hanuman (yaah), Rama and Sita, Ganesh (also yah) and of course, Krishna.  I also have watched my fair share of childhood movies and cartoons where the gods were mentioned or present―Karan & Arjun specifically struck the fear in me with Kali 😭�� holy fuck that movie scared me with the creepy edits jeez T-T. There was also that one cartoon about Rama and Sita”s story specifically Hanuman, and this Indian TV series where this little girl was a loyal devotee to Ganesha (I had no idea rats were one of his uh signature animals holy shit).

I'm rambling here a bit because the childhood memories were fun, but the point I'm going for is though….

I am familiar with these gods I grew up with. And I know about them, maybe not enough but certainly enough to know how to properly respect them from back then. 

And, using Krishna as a prime example; if someone came up to me, or I came across anyone, who argues that the god I know is an immortal child, even though I have worshipped and adult version of him, I'd be so fucking pissed. Krishna is seen as an adult, I worshipped him as an adult, but there are cases where he's a child god, and that's fine! But to have someone tell you that you're wrong about the god you know about because they got some basic information off the internet, undoubtedly, I'm going to be pissed. Especially when it's from a Western fan who has no fucking brain.

So, of course, imagine how devotees of Nezha and Chinese people must be feeling every single time this fandom fucks about with Nezha's age. I saw it myself; people told my friend that a) she was lying and b) her statement is irrelevant just because “I did my proper research, and even if you're Chinese you can still be a proshipper, Nezha's a child deity.”

It's genuinely so fucked up to me how the LMK fandom act towards Nezha's age. You guys will ignore the people who are willing to provide accurate information for the sake of being in the right and accusing people for being a proshipper over a deity they have more experience with than you, a Western fan who has no knowledge of Eastern religion.

It's insane. There are actual Daoist and Chinese who are pointing out the fact Nezha isn't an immortal fucking child. 

You're not only disrespectful, you insane, childish and most importantly chronically online. Nezha the god isn't a fictional character, there's nothing ‘canon’ about him. He's a god who's lived for decades longer than you, and his existence predates yours. People have long sinced worshipped Nezha, and the fact that you can so boldly tell someone they're wrong about the god they've worshipped is so disrespectful.

Do you not realize, as Nezha is worshipped as a child, he's worshipped as an adult? Do you not take into account how absolutely disgusting and horrible you are telling Daoists and Chinese who have stated time and time again the information of Nezha being an immortal child is factually incorrect that they're wrong and know nothing??

I'm repeating my statement; I'm an ex Hindu, but if anyone told me that Krishna's an immortal child too and then point out I'm wrong and my point doesn't matter, I would be seething. And I don't blame my friend who's losing their temper about Nezha's age. 

What amazes me though, somehow, is the fact that. If anyone who was Chinese + Daoist agreed with your claims, as Cole from Twitter once did, none of you would've spoken that way to my friend. But of course, once she points out she's Chinese/ex Daoist and disagrees with you, majority of the opinions switched because, she wasn't agreeing with your headcanon, right? So even though she's Chinese, she's bad because she disagreed with you.

You're all disgusting and fucking weird.

And the fact y'all in this fandom will habitually prove yourselves as hypocrites by attacking people, and then ignoring the ones who are capable of proving you're wrong to cling to a false idea is insane. You guys need some actual help, holy fucking shit. 

Nezha isn't an immortal child. That's a god. If he was intended to be a child in LMK, there would've been statements about it. 

Seperate fiction from religion, and seperate your headcanon from canon and the actual god. If you think this biased headcanon is okay and attacking people that point you out for being wrong is somehow okay, I sincerely ask that you take a break from the internet, and read a book.

No, don't just read a book. Read a history book. Pick up some knowledge, understand how religion and history works. 

Furthermore. The research some of you guys are doing is actually shit, by the way. You guys aren't researching properly if you can pull up with Nezha is 12, thing. If you actually cared about his age, you'd put more effort and actually stop being disrespectful to the people who are giving you the proper information. You only research surface level so you can attack people.

And additionally, stop playing the Devil's advocate. Most of you are just Western fans who think you know everything from reading one book or watching one show. You read JTTW or watch OSP’s videos and suddenly, you know more than an actual Chinese person or Daoist. You look up Wikipedia and think, “Oh yeah, I'll go with this!” And that's it. Most of you at best can provide only three websites at most, and I can bet my ass that these websites with information about Nezha's age was written by a fan who got their information from a shit source.

I love History, and most specifically, I love religion. Not so much the divine aspects as it is about the myths that surround it. Whenever I get into a fandom, I need to find out more about their religion and history. Getting into JTTW, and eventually, LMK, pushed me into a rabbit hole of Chinese myths that I really enjoy learning. But dealing with idiots who think they know more?? It's sickening as shit.

I'd like to think I'm good at literature things because once it's a religion or myth I want to learn everything about it. But I know I don't know everything, and I know especially I have more to learn. I'd never tell someone who is a part or worships the religion/culture I'm learning that they're factually incorrect about it just because I have an opinion and I learnt my info from a random source.

You guys in the LMK fandom are incredibly entitled. The Nezha is 12 controversy is a headcanon, which became worst by that asshat Cole on Twitter. And because so many of you don't want to learn the truth, whenever someone tries to point out and help you, you ignore them or attack them, and deny their heritage.

And honestly?? You guys suck. 

And this is coming from me!! Some of y'all are grown ass adults too!! And yet I'm childish and immature!?!

Brother I literally turned 18 a few months ago, yet I'm 100% certain I'm not throwing a blasted hissy fit over a fucking god the way some of you all who are most definitely adults are doing.

And finally, the one thing that actually does make me laugh is because I'm pretty sure most of you didn't do History classes. One of the most important things my history teacher taught me is; don't use Wikipedia as a source of viable information. Thousands of people are capable of accessing Wikipedia and changing information as they want, and so it's much better to find book solid resources from libraries. I did in fact use Wikipedia too (hypocritical of me yeah) so of course I wouldn't advise using the screenshots I provided from Wikipedia as evidence to the argument, because anything on Wikipedia can be changed. If I'm feeling extra petty I could change something myself to be in the right.

Furthermore, if you dare to bring up only JTTW and FSSY as a plausible argument about Nezha's age, I'm genuinely going to throw hands and fuck your mother. I think my friend also mentioned it in their posts but I'll mention it here too; JTTW does NOT state Nezha's age. I've read JTTW, and aside from Wukong vs Nezha there's nothing else that states Nezha's age. For all we're aware of, Wukong called Nezha a kid just out of spite, and I do it too when I'm arguing with someone. FSSY is the Investiture of the Gods and the ORIGINS!! Do you THINK a book about the ORIGINS of the gods would focus on other aspects about them!!? No!!

I expect some of the arguments I might get are;

"Oh, Nezha [appearances] could be wearing a glamor!" That is a headcanon, as we see nothing in LMK to refute that. Macaque's scar is canon because it's shown within the show. Nezha's appearance has NOT fluctuated since he was introduced. The idea of him using a glamor or illusion is a HEADCANON unless proven by the show. And headcanons are NOT vital.

"But you use Wikipedia too :(" Which I pointed out and made aware of, which is I also doubt that source myself. If any of you did History, your teachers are supposed to INFORM you that using a website is NOT a good idea for backing up information, and it's much better to use books or other trusted sources. In the case of Nezha, I'm trusting actual Daoists/Chinese who knows more about him than I do. It's because I did PROPER research that I even came across a good source of information, aka @ruibaozha, who I'm sure can share more light on this than me! The fact that some of you guys won't even acknowledge them is almost proof that...you're clinging to a headcanon. Jackass.

"But Nezha in JTTW/FSSY are 7/12 and that's where LMK takes it's inspiration from so obviously―" We've seen for a fact LMK does NOT follow JTTW to the letter. Jade Emperor beating Wukong?? Lady Bone Demon being a powerful foe and being trapped in a bunker? Azure even being able to kill the Emperor? Majority of the LMK fandom likes to point out that LMK Macaque and JTTW Macaque are two different people, especially when you claim that Macaque is a bad character because he cannibalized the monkeys. So then, with this logic, JTTW Nezha, FSSY Nezha, and LMK Nezha are also three seperate figures. I swear someone made a post about the differences JTTW and FSSY Nezha have too, but I can't find it so meh. The point still remains though. LMK Nezha are two different people, you're not making any sense to me about that argument. Even then, LMK isn't taking direct inspiration and putting their own twist. Who says anything needs to be accurate??

"The writer only said Nezha's an adult to ship lotuspeach!" Are you faintly aware people, actual Chinese people, have shipped these characters together? Proshippers can come from anywhere but I genuinely doubt every single person is a proshipper because of course, they're aware their god isn't an eternal child. On top of that, in a situation like this another writer would point out that Nezha ISN'T an adult. No one has argued against this claim, so why persist? Where's your logic coming from if not entitlement?

I want this to be the last time I have to talk about Nezha, because I made my blog to write porn and me smooching my favorite LMK characters. I kinda don't really like making discussions like this because that's not the point of my blog.

However...I do like rambling. A lot :)))

Anyways, point blank. LMK fandom needs to grow out of this entitled mindset and stop ignoring the facts from experts. You guys are just being annoying at this point.

My argument isn't really valid tbh, just pointless rambling because I only know basic information. I think you guys should find proper information from accounts online.

Also, if you're gonna argue: don't bring be albeist, racist etc etc. I'm capable of cussing you out without bringing up your mental health, race or identity :)))

[chocolatepot]

Just finished Tomb of Dragons at lunch, finally can sort through my own thoughts!

I think the FIRST first thing I have to say is that as much as I love a lot of what Katherine Addison does, I think she's really bad at structure and pacing. Back in TGE I thought that maybe her decision to put what felt like the climax of the book in the middle and make me go, "oh, huh, it's not done yet? there's still a lot to go!" was deliberate, but after reading the Cemeteries trilogy I just think she doesn't have an innate sense of how to gradually build to something and then tie it up neatly, and with the state of publishing these days no editors were trying to help with that. And this relates to the line of action throughout the whole trilogy as well as this book specifically, where it felt like the dragons got completely dropped for half the book and then she went "oh, fuck, right, have to get back to that."

I went in knowing that Iana and Celehar do not have a romantic relationship, and I'm glad because I would have been kind of annoyed if I hadn't. I haven't been active in this fandom since before the trilogy started, so it's not like I was especially into Iana/Thara, but it always read to me as a setup for something. Which ties into my first point, because it feels poorly planned. I would buy either that she did plan to make it romantic and chickened out or that she genuinely just wanted to have them be good friends and unintentionally mimicked the pacing of a slow-burn romance for the first two books.

And the thing is, I wouldn't have minded if it turned out that the central relationship of the trilogy was a QPR, if Celehar's emotional throughline was going to be his growing acceptance of Iana's "intense" (it wasn't that intense tbh) friendship and his reciprocation of it. But it wasn't, or at least it didn't feel that way to me. It was just revealed and then it was done.

There wasn't an emotional throughline, if I'm honest. Celehar gets only marginally more aware of the fact that people like him and want to help him, that he has strengths apart from his magical/religious ability, through the trilogy. He doesn't develop. I've been waiting for two books now for him to get more of an understanding of himself and other people and he ends up barely ahead of where he was at the beginning. If she were intending to write an indefinite series of mysteries, I would get it, because you have to spool out the development so slowly in those, but my understanding is that this is it, so ... why?

It's just weird, because I loved The Goblin Emperor SO much, like SOOO much, like I recommended it to someone on an anon meme who was asking for female-centric books because I was so nuts about it. Maia being a poor little mans who gradually attracts devoted defenders is catnip to my id. But she somehow doesn't manage to pull the same thing off here. I think maybe it's because despite there being a mystery in TGE, it wasn't A Mystery Novel and so there didn't have to be so much emphasis on looking for clues and such: she was able to get more into the characters.

I did like that we saw Maia and Csevet again. It was a little bit like reading the later Queen's Thief books, where you get to see the leads through other eyes. (And actually the captain/Celehar reminded me a bit of Costis/Kamet, another romance not quite allowed to happen on the page, except that MWT really sells Costis/Kamet in a way that does not happen with the captain guy whose name I can't remember, Olga-something.)

[sout999]

adhd talk

the third truly unsung project alongside my film and dissertation was the weird amount of targeted effort i had to put into Completing Anything Big As A Neurodivergent Person Whose Brain Is A Crazy Off The Rails Train Staffed and Patronised Entirely By Multiple Exact Copies Of The Squirrel From Ice Age

which is a description like 99/100 people reading this can relate to, but i think a sentiment i see less often and therefore feel kind of stupid and stubborn and lonesome about is "adhd is innate but is also exasperated by hectic lifestyle/modern instant gratification machines so if i fix my habits around those i can cure myself forever". which is silly and wrong but also i feel abit disconnected from adhd social media culture and cant cope just relating to it (which is all it seems to be sometimes) but learning to harness or tame it to do the things that are really important to me

i felt really cringe tbh having to look up youtube videos of HARVARD STUDENT REVEALS PRO STUDY TRICK and then narrowing it down to specifically adhd-focused study videos and keeping a planner and setting aside specific time to study studying and practising anti-academic meltdown journaling techniques and reading fucking atomic habits but i really didn't want to contribute to my abhorrent academic record following me all through undergrad. in fact i wish i had done this sooner but i was not self aware enough to consider the fact

probably the best change i made was severely cutting down or being mindful of social media time, i don't backread my tl anymore and have more moments of awareness when i find myself dumbly scrolling and realize i dont want to be doing this, and then wondering what i actually Do want to be doing. i keep a book nearby to read, and have also swapped a lot of social media time to sketching-off-pinterest time. reading about the psychology behind social media apps is also super interesting, although i always feel like a paranoid wacko conspiracy theorist talking about it. stuff like how negativity and judgemental behaviour is good for engagement (and therefore ad revenue), and how if all posts on your tl were interesting you wouldn't be as addicted to social media as you are, therefore microblogging employs a slot machine/gacha system where you "roll" for posts by logging on and hope to get a good one. it's a little full on but the more i think of it as a revolting and evil machine the more incentive i have to do something else with my time ^q^

a harder thing to do was, in the late stages of the project, the real crunch time month, avoid everything that could become a huge hyperfixation, and then eventually even minor distractions or fixations. because i know if i got super obsessed with something i'd just be up posting about it or drawing fanart. i had to bar myself from persona 3 remake and elden ring dlc and all these other shiny new releases, and the mobile games i was playing... i look forward to catching up on them now. i took up reading books a lot more because unfortunately thats just not as exciting. in the last month of film work i stopped listening to music on my computer so i wouldnt get drawing or animation ideas to distract me from film work. as of writing this i havent listened to music in like 40 days guys 😱 at the same time i am the kind of person who needs background noise to work, so i have:

watched novum's four hour hereditary video essay three times

watched novum's seven hour midsomar video essay three times

watched that one five hour bojack horseman retrospective twice

listened to audiobooks of the Britney Spears biography, Jennette McCurdy biography, three Playboy Bunny biographies (i was on some sort of lady bopgraphy kick i guess), and a few fiction books

rewatched all of bojack horseman

started on House MD and got a few seasons in before i finished the project, amazingly the perfect show to look away from bc of all the medical stuff, how many lumbar punctures do you need to show like seriously

honorable mention to the learned skill of communication and being honest and picking your battles and killing your darlings which is a larger part of managing mental illness than i cared to admit but one of the hardest ones because it involved confronting things and making big painful drastic changes and then having to tell the faculty about them. sometimes i'd be stuck on a piece of animation work for weeks/months, then go back and change the underlying idea to one i'm actually passionate about, and do the animation work in one day using newly found magical hyperfocus passion power. it's crazy! but being able to be confident about taking those steps rather than keeping on with what you're "supposed" to do went a long way.

i very much look forward to listening to a music and playing some video games properly now and being pulverized like a small victorian child from the sheer amount of fun i'm having. i'd say it was all worth it and a fun experiment in channeling the magical humours of passion and boredom and i hope it will help me with future projects too. i Am super burnt out though x__ x thanks for reading and for all your support up until now!

[cconfusedkat]

AHHAHDHAHDHAHD Sorry ive had this shower thought haunting me so i need to yap about this

First ill just get my easy thoughts out the way ;;

Allure is the embodiment of Jesus He Knows Me, while Shamura is the embodiment of Satanized

There's a TON of differences between alluremura,, the biggest difference is how they process/processed trauma.... One has severe religious trauma and the other has runaway trauma + moving around constantly, never wanting to move away from each of their friends every few months their family had to move across the lands

Shamura would've done anything to move constantly. Allure would've done anything to stay in one place consistently and "not have any expectations"

OK song comparison yapping below, (and also just me yapping about pretty realistic relationship dynamic that i tend to ignore for them tbh,)

For jesus he knows me it's a song about people seeing you as highly as they do with jesus (i think?) and its a cover anyways by Ghost specifically- Satanized is a song about guilt of sinning against your religion and focuses on the religious trauma aspect

Allure is VERY content with being compared to the most powerful lambs that died millennia ago,

while Shamura (as a follower anyways!) feels a sort of. Like. Discomfort? The religious cult aspect? Cults arent a new thing to them to begin with but they slowly grow to hate how cults behave and how much of an idol thing it can be,, though theyre consistent with lying and forgetting about this discomfort due to their migraines and brain trauma/damage,,

honestly its just emotional manipulation at play within being inside the cult

After all cults *are* supposed to be an escape from reality, arent they? Im kinda just projecting my own cult survivor trauma onto how actually Scary it is to be in such a big cult and how many people are willing to follow under such a propaganda of gods coming back and like. Ensue world armageddon or blah blah

I think a lot of people forget how cults actually behave lmao,, or yet to put actual research into them,, youre being manipulated and told that these things are SINFUL and that the outside world is the wrong choice to follow under

Really everyone is trapped within the cult

Which is why i believe alluremuras relationship to be much more messy than what i actually want them to be: domestic. How can you be a domestic couple if youre being manipulated into following this false idol? 24/7? They arent aware of it because of how much their head hurts. Despite being healed, they still feel phantom pain and have religious trauma they dont remember mentally but their body remembers physically what happened to them

Plus... Being a bishop for nine millennia? To have it taken away for 200+ years now as a follower? Despite having a role as high as undertaking (yes really its a high role in death & wisdom cult,) and candlemaking, they still feel as they lack a purpose in life

Theyre still pretty conservative regarding silk cradle law. But thats the THING. They dont remember the old testaments of silk cradle!!!! But they still follow it!!!! Thats how weird your mind can work when youve grown SO used to ignoring your trauma/acknowleding you have trauma

Alluremura love eachother, but the dynamic in itself is really toxic

But alas i ignore it because yay 💜 yuri 💜

I dont disregard it though always i like to play with their dynamic of toxicity ,,, its just two people struggling mentally no matter what position they're in powerfully,,, theres no possible way shamura was mentally all there pre betrayal and after betrayal

Purgatory shamura begged allure to kill them, anyways

They still often wish they couldve died instead of becoming a follower

Ok these werent really related to the songs but i guess i just like to think about this big difference of allure loving praise while shamura just wants to become a regular person wahaha-

[blackjackkent]

OK, resuming the Rakha adventures in Rivington! We've finally sorted through the immediate reactions to the latest revelation about Rakha's heritage, so it's time to get out there in the world and Pretend Everything's Normal.

How you feeling about all this, Rakha?

Yeah, that tracks.

Quick pontifications on Rakha's mental state before pushing on here... realistically I don't think she is doing well at ALL at the moment. She's not usually overtly emotional and wouldn't know how to articulate exactly how she's feeling, but she's all of a sudden juggling a lot of very conflicting feelings.

She is, honestly, deeply relieved on some level to have learned exactly what is happening to her. She has a name to put to it and people around her who also know what that name is. This is a huge step forward in some ways.

On the other hand, the dark thing in her head is from a source far more powerful and terrifying than she had ever thought to imagine. She wants to stand against it but is suddenly far less sure that she's strong enough to do so even though she's managed it thus far.

She's deeply afraid that, in spite of his reassurances, Wyll will decide this is too much to have to deal with. (And, tbh, there's no way Wyll is as confident about it as he's acting; the boy is 26 and being faced with the knowledge that his girlfriend is the child of a death god and used to perform murder rituals for funsies before she lost her memory. No matter how wonderful Wyll is, that has to give him pause.)

She's absolutely imprinted on Jaheira like a baby bird in the wake of all these discoveries. Jaheira being there right at the moment where all the realizations happened, and being a calm steady presence with knowledge of exactly what Rakha is going through, was something she desperately needed. I think they spend a day or so in camp letting Rakha (and everyone else really) adjust to this discovery, and she spends the whole time restlessly moving between Wyll's tent and Jaheira's, not even really saying anything, just lurking nearby and making sure they're both still there.

I think her good relationship with Minthara is not going to last. The two of them bonded over their desire to destroy Ketheric, and Minthara's cold practicality meshes well with Rakha's attitudes in a lot of respects - but with the Bhaalspawn reveal it's suddenly become super clear that their fundamental goals are very incompatible in a way that might very well lead to a splintering, or even violence.

Her relationship with Lae'zel is in an incredibly weird state right now. Lae'zel hates that Rakha consumed the Astral Tadpole and allied with the Emperor willingly, but still cares about her and is very aware that Rakha needs all the support she can get right now. So it'll be interesting to see how that develops.

Generally speaking it just sort of feels like everything has gone upside down and sideways and Rakha's holding on by her fingernails. But... there's nothing she can do but try to keep going. The Chosen and the Absolute need to be dealt with in order to protect Wyll's city, and Orin needs to die if Rakha is going to survive.

So... come the next morning, she squares her shoulders, grits her teeth, and steps back out into Rivington.

On the bright side - whatever lies ahead, they're done with the circus, so there will probably not be any more clowns.

[olderthannetfic]

I've only really participated in one exchange and I remember it as a great experience because of the writing part. The reading part was kind of a disaster! The fic I received was posted with a "translation in progress" note and switched languages after like two paragraphs. Then the writer forgot to finish the translation I guess, but bizarrely didn't forget to complain to the exchange mods that I still hadn't left any comment on my gift. I had been waiting for the translation to be done! I'll be honest I wasn't very enthusiastic about the fic after that. It also felt like it hadn't been written for the exchange but was a pre-existing story that just happened to fit the parameters.

Anyway, that exchange was still genuinely an amazing experience. The request I received was something I wouldn't have written for myself, and while I did manage to plot it out in advance, I procrastinated like all hell on the actual writing. Finally knocked it out on the last day in some sort of Christmas miracle.

I'm still so happy with that cute little story and with the warm feedback I got from the giftee and other readers. The experience of writing to broad appeal — after all, you don't know much about the giftee beyond the request — was kind of liberating. Normally I am plagued by this stupid mindset that my story has to be original and perfect, why else would I post it to a fandom already overflowing with fic? It's like bringing yet another casserole to a potluck with a bunch of chefs.

But in an exchange you kind of want to be a little generic? Otherwise your giftee might be stuck eating something they find really weird. And you definitely have to finish the story, or else your giftee is sitting in front of an empty plate. And it has to be really finished on the day of because you don't want the giftee to have to pick bits of egg shell out of their casserole. You just want them to be able to eat and have a good time, but it doesn't have to be the best meal of their life.

And all that can somehow make you more aware of your own "voice" as a writer. Sure, it's a generic casserole, but no one else puts this much garlic in it or uses the exact same brand of butter. I don't actually know how to make a casserole...

--

TBH, I have written plenty of weird shit for exchanges, but I do try to make sure it's tailored to my recipient.

[pumpkinrootbeer]

This could differ from person to person but I do believe that at the start, Evan genuinely just wanted to help the Murphys and wasn’t sure how to do that other than to lie and he felt trapped by his situation (for lack of a better word) and that was sort of influenced by what Jared said to him (“you’re seriously gonna tell them all they have left of their dead son is a weird sex letter you wrote?”), though of course I’m not trying to say Jared like, did that maliciously. As time went on, particularly in Act 2, Evan did start to act out selfishly and trying to use his lie with the Murphys as a means to get what he wants rather than actually helping them. I really like your posts analyzing them, honestly Evan and Jared’s dynamic is so interesting, and at the end of the day they’re both just like. Awful teenagers. They need couple’s counseling or something

i absolutely get you, and like you said they're just awful teenagers!! they're kids who are going through so much and have no support, they're going to do stupid shitty things. and of course you're absolutely free to your interpretations!! no shame in interpreting media differently then me :) that's the joy of fandom! And thank you!!! i have really enjoyed rambling abt these losers I love them so much <3

Also you've activated my autism beam and now i get to talk Abt my interpretations even more hahaha my perfect victory.

So first thing, yes! I 100% agree that Evan did want to help the Murphys and try and alleviate some of their pain at the start. But there's a shift at some point throughout the play where it's less about helping them and more about helping Evan, which I think most people agree on that at some point Evan's interests shift to being more self centered— it's just a matter of when that change occurs that people disagree on.

I'm of the opinion that the change happens, or at the very least starts to happen, very early on. I would say the moment Evan's motivations start to shift is when he says the line "They didn't want me to stop." while talking with Jared (and I am going to talk about my interpretation of Jared because I have so much to say about that freak 😭). This is the moment, for me, Evan realizes he's getting positive attention for lying. And that maybe he kind of likes it.

And I've said this in my other posts, but Evan isn't admitting to himself that that's why he's doing this! I don't think he's even aware of why he's really doing this. When he says he's doing it for the Murphys, he genuinely believes that.

The moment where I think he's 100% doing it for himself, even though he doesn't realize it, is Disappear. Because Connor's memory is already forgotten and they are parading this fake version of him around, a fake version of Connor that makes Evan look better and one that is actively causing real Connor to get forgotten faster. And Evan admits in the song that it's also because he doesn't want to be forgotten, which is not this horrible awful thing to feel! Evan isn't a bad person because he doesn't want to be invisible. I don't think Evan is a bad person at all!! What he does that's bad is hijack this tragedy for himself, a thing that again, he doesn't even realize he's doing.

i would definitely agree with you that by act 2, everything is mostly for himself. Cue the "It's not my fault other people can" line. Which I would argue is probably the cruelest thing Evan says in that entire show 😭, and then we get Good for You where Evan realizes things are starting to fall apart and that Alana isn't completely unaware and Evan's hurt her and his mom cares so much and has been so hurt by what Evan has done and that Jared isn't going to always be at his beck and call to write more emails whenever Evan needs him to, and that he's also been hurt by Evan's actions. Probably the most important song in the whole musical tbh. And THEN we get Words Fail where Evan just finally has to come to terms with why he's been doing everything, and it's also such a crucial moment for Evan's character Words Fail baby I love youuuuu.

So yeah! I agree that Evan started out with pure intentions, felt trapped, and then ended up finally feeling seen. He's a complicated character that I think gets watered down to a one dimensional poor anxious bean too much, it does a HUGE disservice to his character. I love canon Evan my perfect asshole son WAAAYYY more than fanon Evan did nothing wrong ever he's too anxious to hurt anyone.

With Jared, I actually think one of the most interesting things about him is that line!! Why does he tell Evan to not come clean? He has nothing to gain from it, he isn't even using the lie to get closer to Evan yet because the lie doesn't really exist! And you can't even argue that he's trying to sabotage Evan in this moment because there's nothing to suggest Jared ever actively tries to ruin Evan's life.

Sure, he says he would if he had that letter but nothing in the show suggests that's something Jared would do. He keeps Evan's lie for him the entire show, even when he has no reason too. Jared had cause and means to ruin Evan's life, but chooses not to again and again. So I'd definitely agree that he's not acting with malintent.

How I read that line, and obviously people are free to disagree, is concern. He is genuinely worried about Evan here and what Evan telling the Murphys will do to Evan. It's not even self preservation because he has nothing to do with this yet!

And because Jared is... well Jared, him looking out for Evan is telling him not to come clean! Nod and confirm, boys. Nod and confirm. Like it's this really imperfect, messy answers right? Because he's a teenager whose go to answer is not telling people shit about what's going on with him. Like, so many of Jared's problems would be solved if he knew how to talk to people, like "Hey Ev you're my only friend and you inventing a fake friend who is your best friend kinda sucks and hurts my feelings. Also this thing you're doing is weird and selfish xoxo love Jared." But he can't say that, because he's well. he's Jared.

And then he just offers to write these emails for Evan, and then continuously tries to do shit for Evan in the second act when Evan wants fuck all to do with him it's literally insane how Jared acts. "I can't do any more emails this weekend I have to hang out with my REAL friends 🙄🙄" to immediately "wait I can help with the project please please involve me in your life" like the lie isn't really holding up there Jared 🤨🤨 and then the invite for Evan to come over and drink and just shoot the shit with him he's clearly so desperate for his friend but he's also such an asshole he had to constantly push Evan away at the same time 😭😭😭😭 OHHHH I love them.

[lapdogchase]

Where do you get most of your autism info?

oo good question,, tbh a lot of stuff i just know cuz my both my brothers are diagnosed + my best friend growing up has it, so a lot of stuff i just kinda absorbed over the years from my family + friends. usually with factchecking that stuff i just google it and scan a couple sites that look trustworthy to see if it's something that seems widely agreed on or not before i say it conclusively

for specific online sources, i know the autism self advocacy network has a lot of good info, and embrace autism is also good. also spectrumnews.org and autistic women and nonbinary network <- these r all as far as i know but also i havent done like, a full background check on all of them so i might be incorrect

i think the main thing is double checking anything from social media or any article/news story/whatever with big red flags- it definitely varies and most of these things arent like, 100% indicators that something is wrong, more that the source might be biased or ableist or just outdated. but for me big red flags are -> allistic writer/speaker insisting on person-first language (tho thats still very common in psych spaces unfortunately), calling autism a "disease"/"epidemic" or saying it needs to be cured, the puzzle piece logo and "light it up blue" (red instead is the alternative movement for that, it's for autism Acceptance rather than awareness which is the movement with weird ableist undertones (overtones?)), that sort of thing. also checking for things written by autistic people or with imput from autistic people

also academic papers can be super dense (and somewhat ableist tbh) but they also have good information sometimes, so again just checking and seeing if there's other sources for stuff & if those look reputable

+ id say just in general be especially careful with stuff on social media bc ppl will Lie or misinterpret stuff or misremember or whatever and misinformation gets spread very very quickly . but also community is nice & can be incredibly helpful so it's difficult to completely disavow it yknow .

but yeah a lot of stuff ive learned from my family & friends over the years, and dont have super good specific sources for learning that sort of thing other than just hanging out with autistic people and absorbing stuff via osmosis HAHA but i hope some of that helps :}

[uhgood-girl]

people are having a lot of interpretations on the line jk used in his apple music interview my views were different but messed not clear when he said I will never cross the lines with armys which a singer or artist should maintain everyone taken it as he is saying he will not use them for his benefit, sexual desires, hook up nd all crap they assumed but I don't think he want to say that can u please explain ur point of view not share it please.

hi anon, i hope you can forgive that i'm not sure how to answer this without sharing it? maybe i was supposed to post about it unprompted but to be perfectly honest, the quote in question didn't stick out to me at all before this.

i personally haven't seen any discourse over it either and am confused as to why there would be any as it seems within the lines of the normal boundary setting most of the members have done at some point or another to me.

but to be fair to you and this ask, i went back and watched it again just to make sure i didn't miss anything. the section being discussed starts around 26:13 and ends around 27:40 and in summary the interviewer asks jk about the special relationship bts have with army, how unique and symbiotic it is and what is jk's favorite part about this dynamic. jk answers that he agrees it's very special and how it's important to him personally to continue to try and have "authentic and comfortable" convos with army that show a real version of him. he adds the disclaimer that he knows that there's a line that shouldn't be crossed between performer and audience and he won't cross it but he wants to be our "friend" as much as he can.

so, do i think the "line" he has no intention of crossing here refers to not using army for his benefit/sexual desires/hook ups? uh, no, i'm with you anon, i don't think that's what he meant at all. but not because that line doesn't exist for him, i think it does, but like, that goes without saying, right? assuming jk is a decent human being who would never use his fame or money to unfairly take advantage of anyone, which is something i hope we're all on the same page about here as i don't know why anyone would ever willingly be a fan of someone they thought with high probability would do such a thing, would that not be saying the quiet part out loud? is there some group of genuinely delusional y/n's in a foxhole some where needing this spelled out still? (rhetorical, please don't make me think about saesangs today)

i put quotations around the word "friend" up there because at the end of the day, there will always be a (needed) barrier between idol/artist/performer and fan and jk can't really be our friend in the true sense of the word, which he's aware of. the nature of this type of relationship as a whole already maintains a weird, fluctuating power imbalance between both parties as one cannot exist without the other and you won't get very far, on the artist side of things especially, without understanding this.

but jk has kind of, sort of already crossed some "lines" with us in how willing he has been to show and share so much of himself with us, over the last year, in particular. in case you just fell off the turnip truck yesterday, as my very southern grandmother would say, getting to witness someone as famous and untouchable as jk chilling in real time in their home and bed even, is highly unusual. most celebrities with that level of status wouldn't be caught dead sharing something like that and understandably so, tbh, as most fans couldn't handle that level of intimacy with their idol. hell, a lot of people who consider themselves fans these days apparently can't handle it either, which makes me very sad and tbh how dare you potentially ruin the trust so many of us have spent years building up with them. rude. taking things for granted is how you lose them and the special relationship bts and army share only stays special with effort, but i digress.

i think jk's disclaimer here was an assurance that he's very aware of what he has chosen to share could be perceived by some as having already gone too far but that his boundaries are still firmly in place. "authentic and comfortable" are a priority to him but he's not going to exceed our shared comfort zone. he may be a lot more candid than some, say seokjin, who may as well be an international man of mystery for as much as he's willing to show off the clock in comparison, but jk knows what he's doing. and considering how young he started and how long he's been in the spotlight, he seems exceptionally well adjusted and savvy overall at navigating these extremely tumultuous waters, imo.

anyway, respect your artists as human beings and know your own fan boundaries, folks. there's always some nuance to be had, especially on a site like this where it's a mostly contained bubble for us, the audience, to throw around our fiction and theories and odes to how beautiful they all are but when you leave this space with any of that (minus the odes, maybe) and put it in front of these very real people in question, you've gone too far. don't be that asshole. everyone despises that asshole. (including said artists! they're never going to say it that frankly but i will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

[iheartmoons]

asks for you bc i’m bored

fav food?

fav drink?

fav show?

fav subject? (i feel like i already know this one but i might be wrong so)

fav snack?

comfort food?

weirdest food you've ever eaten?

most out of character thing you've ever done?

wallpaper?

if you could have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

any phobias?

is there anything you’d wait in line for a week to do, see, or get?

if you could name your brain, what would you name it?

where do you want to travel the most?

you don’t have to answer all of them or any at all if you don’t want to!! they’re very random lmao

you can answer privately too if you’d like <3

OMG HI i should be sleeping but this is more fun:

(strap in bc it turns out that i cant choose anything for the life of me, and i enjoy oversharing)

fav food: i cant….choose. being a basic bitch id say like chicken curry and rice bc idk 🧍‍♂️it’s good. but uhhh i love chinese food generally, like oh man. duck pancakes w the cucumbers and sauces and uh, the noodles and the pork and chicken and dumplings and bao buns (i am aware this sounds terrible to others, but i am drooling)

fav drink: ooh oreo milkshake, or if we’re talking standard drink from the shop, specifically fanta fruit twist (it’s also the colour i would dye my hair btw). my go-to is always generally water tho 🤭

fav show: i cant choose…. maybe like friday night dinner, she-ra, and strong girl bong soon

fav subject: english <3

fav snack: OH um. i love choc chip muffins or choc chip cookies tbh, also brownies!!!!

comfort food: any type of chicken curry and rice

weirdest food i’ve eaten: i really haven’t eaten anything weird. i don’t eat any red meat very often apart from pork, sooo idk. (i’m thinking meat wise here btw) i guess i’d say pig intestines - look it sounds bad, but if you think abt it, lots of people are eating all the other parts of the pig w/o thinking about it. my bro once ate crocodile at a farm once tho which was pretty wild (apparently it tastes like chicken)

most out of character thing ive ever done: see i cant really answer this because i’m just so different in diff situations or w diff people, but i honest to god think that it’s saying i love you to all my online friends. like. id never ever do that in real life. i find it extremely hard to show my emotions, it’s so awkward and uncomfy.

wallpaper: for a moment there i couldn’t decide whether u were asking abt my literal wallpaper or my phone wallpaper…. i’m still unsure… but my lock screen is reg and sirius, and my home screen is the marauders. and if ur asking abt my bedroom, i got lilac walls 🙈

if i had an unlimited supply of smth, what wld i choose: ohhhhhh oh. fuck idk. ummm money??? lmao 😭😭😭 maybe time with my cousin (she’s my fav person and she doesn’t live in the same city + she’s going to uni after next year so my chances of seeing her are slimming)

phobias: the ocean/any big body of water, death (big big emphasis on this one) and ummm like dolls and clowns- actually i’m scared of so many things, the list could go on and on

smth i’d wait in line to see/do/get: i’d wait in line for a hug from mitski tbh

if i could name my brain, what wld i name it: WHAT SORT OF QUESRIONS ARE THESE 😭😭 good lord. id name it the fucking universe. i had this thing when i was younger where i started this universe and kept building characters upon characters until there were hundreds and i knew each of their intricate storylines and id act them out and it was actually bad bc i couldn’t focus on anything else for literal years (there you go, big moons secret - not rlly a secret, i’ve said it before) so yes. there is an entire universe up in my brain probably.

where do you want to travel the most: i wanna go to the south of france + tokyo + venice, but i heard it’s not all that. my fav places that i’ve been to are vietnam and america which r two very different places and i adored them - vietnam more for the food and culture and surroundings, american more bc of family + tourist attractions + theme parks. so. maybe one of those wins.

[idyllic-affections]

now that youre done with the archon quest; what are your thoughts on how the sinth production was handled? i found it kinda weird how its entire distribution was dependant on just a guys (also its like a cartoonish caricature of a drug, makes you feel amazing but almost immediately sends you into withdrawl too? like how was anyone buying this)

also, what do you think of neuvillette being a parental figure to furina? i've been thinking of making furina focalors' daughter instead of a different version of her. I also think her and neuvi should've been old friends, which is why she trusted him to take care of furina. And i think it would make focalors' death much more impactfull for him

(P. S. happy early anniversary!)

🐌.

man. i have so many thoughts about the archon quest. Probably enough to warrant their own post tbh HAHA

tbh, it was sort of just... there?? i don't have any particularly strong feelings about it, it felt very much like it was there exclusively to serve the purpose of progressing the more overarching plot. which isn't inherently bad. sometimes we all just need plot devices 🙏🙏 that's definitely how it felt to me--plot device-y. vacher didn't serve much of a purpose other than for progressing the plot--making you aware that fontainians return to their oceanid forms when they dissolve, letting you know they CAN dissolve, etc. he was just there to serve the bigger ideas imo

HE SO IS HER DAD IN MY BRAIN MAN. he's all of fontaine's dad if we're being real /hj /lh...... bro loves these people so much that he could never even consider deeming them guilty, and he KNOWS it. god. even though he's a soverign. even when his power was unjustfully taken from him and used to provide humanity with a throne for a god. Idk. hes so. such a gentle and empathetic guy. he really is even if it does not outwardly seem so. he's such a DAD. he's so furina's dad. she reacted so viscerally to his disapproval multiple times in the aq. he is making sure she is taken care of even though she no longer has to play archon. *head in hands* dad behavior. Dadittude.

i was actually quite fond of the whole "mirror me" situation, but this does have it's own appeal too! and focalors and neuvi being old friends would definitely be such an interesting path to explore..... definitely would make her death that much more devastating i think

(and thank you dear <333)

[tboypuppyheat]

ok im gonna soliloquize for a moment dont mind me

recently realized that i havent had friends that i would just casually sit on (basically) since high school and i. miss it tbh like casually just sitting in a pile whenever its been ages since ive done that. and thinking about it, its clear that it is definitely because covid came along and wiped everythjng and the slate clean. and i just . never came back from that again i guess. the other thing is i am extremely aware that i am a) Not the best at judging social situations and b) i am perceived as a cis man unless im real open about the fact that i am Not (which is its own unrelated can of worms) so bc of these two things (and because of the trauma caused by hashtag #finding out nobody liked me in middle school) i am very careful about offering hugs esp with women because duh which meeaaaannnns that. result. people dont read me as someone who likes hugs BUT I AM!!! and im even good at them (ive gotten so many compliments on my hugs!!!) so i just. need to change this. need to work on it

and then on top of that theres the other aspect of . another thing that i want is to not even just sit on my friends (this is hyperbole btw i didnt mention it the first time but when i say sit on my friends i mean casually lay across their lap or whatever i guess idek its not specific) but like. to actually actively cuddle with my friends. bc as an aro person thats harder. but i still need — and really enjoy! — touch and it would be so nice to be Held and like, types of casual touch that normally maybe you dont necessarily get in friendships in society (usa) such as hugging from behind and hair played with (there was a girl who would play with my hair at lunch sometimes in hs and i still think about that tbh)

and then a third layer of Things That I Want, sleeping in the same bed with someone, but not with like a pillow barrier separating us. i always expected that it would be harder for me (insomnia) to fall asleep if someone else was in the bed with me sleeping against me or spooning, but when i visited my . i guess my ex, sort of. in october and we were sleeping in his bed it was easy. really easy, in fact. i dont think i have enough evidence that i can say it was easier than falling asleep alone but i never had any trouble when he was there. which is atypical for me (maybe i had longer days or was up later but idk i still think it was unusual either way). i do think it was easier but im not confident in that guess. but the thing is i wasnt sleeping in the same position i normally do. i always sleep on my side but since he was holding me and i wanted him to hold me i was sleeping on my back and i had no trouble. and i should have. maybe im underestimating the amount of time it took me to fall asleep because i was just enjoying being held for the first time in who knows how long (no wonder i liked him more than he liked me. lol. lmao.) but. either way i want to sleep in the same bed with my friends and hold them and spoon and whatever. but the problem comes when your friends are dating people and not interested because idk it would be cheating or some shit. and then, how would i even broach the subject? "hey do you want to sleep in my bed with me"? is a crazy thing to ask your friend whos in a committed monogamous relationship. tbh. idk its probably not that weird to say hey, my beds more comfortable than the couch, come join me (its true, my beds better than the couch for sure) but i dont have high hopes if im honest.

anyway idk it just kind of sucks. being aroace + afraid ill find out people dont like me + really loving and wanting touch all the time is a killer combo i guess

[starryjkoo]

@ anon, hope you don’t mind but I’m going to answer your ask under the cut! I went off the rails on hyper specific fandom complaints again and it’s new years and all, so I’m just going to contain it under here lol. and also to slice off a few parts to make it a bit more vague.

The thing is that anons do go and inform blogs that "hey this person you were interacting with has made some concerning comments towards one of the members", these people just don't care!

imo, in this situation if it’s about someone they’re friends or friendly with they’ll often try to rationalize it because they don’t want to lose that connection. They want to give them the benefit of the doubt, or maybe they genuinely believe that person doesn’t have bad intentions, or maybe they simply don't care because they think that person brings something of value to the community that cancels out any bad behavior. They might also know this person on a personal level and have a better understanding of their character too, so they're more forgiving/understanding. It’s also a lot easier for us to cancel people we have no attachment to, but for others these are their friends or acquaintances they’ve known for a long time, so cutting them out isn’t as simple. Also it’s just easier to take the side of someone you know versus a faceless anon.

But I get you, it’s frustrating. Obviously as I’m sure you know, it’s been the same situation with ARMYs, especially in CH2. There was an account recently and the receipts I saw on them - proudly admitting they didn’t vote for JM for TMA, saying they cried when he overtook another member, basically called him fandom fave… and yet they’re still around, occasionally making similar weird posts, and trying to cancel other accounts who have done nothing wrong. And yet somehow I still have moots who follow and interact with them. I just can’t figure out why so many ARMYs are okay with this…

Sometimes I think it’s willful ignorance, sometimes I think some ARMYs really just want to see the best in their buddies, sometimes I think people just make it obvious they care more about their own fandom experience and community than the actual BTS members. There isn’t anything wrong with that, I just wish they were self-aware and honest about it. Instead they’re usually the ones deepest in fandom drama and usually the ones trying to shut down ARMYs who are attempting to hold others accountable because it inconveniences them and threatens parts of the community/content they enjoy (remember when so many ARMYs flipped out when that report account started reporting on some tkk fanartists/writers?).

I’ll also toss out that… something I learned this year is that some ARMYs are just… not always the brightest 🥴 no shade but seeing a pretty big account post an obvious set-up sent by a weirdo anon that then led to a huge mess…. I was kind of stunned this person could be so… well, dumb/naive (respectfully, no shade, I’m also dumb sometimes). It put into perspective that there are also some people who just don’t… get it lol. Like sometimes we can easily see and identify the obvious shade and problematic behavior, but it genuinely doesn’t click for some people (but I'm not saying I'm always 100% right on these things either).

There’s lots of other reasons ARMYS won’t cancel accounts that deserve it, but as far as what you’re talking about with jkkrs specifically, I think all of the above applies to them too tbh. Also CH2 has been overwhelmingly toxic and full of drama and a lot of people are just sort of over it. I don’t know, I mean like I said, if you really look back this fandom has always had a hard time holding people accountable and deplatforming problematic accounts (tk-lives 🥴) maybe it’s just always an issue with large fandoms idk. Sometimes I remind myself that it's not all that serious, but I guess I can't help but find it frustrating/annoying sometimes anyways lol.

The more "biased" and solo "focused" nature has definitely impacted the fandom these past two years, including Jkkers. It's insane what competition and success will do to people's minds. Literally watched a JK biased Jkker trash Jimin for not talking about JK/Jikook as much and for FACE, just to then turn into a lowkey PJM when JK released Seven… Honestly convinced some of you (general you) don't actually like Jimin or JK outside of a ship narrative.

& yeah I totally agree with this and there are for sure jkkrs who don’t care about either of them outside of the context of shipping and it shows and it’s sad (at least we’re not as bad as tkkrs lol). I don’t really mean the people who choose to just focus on fun and positive things because I totally respect that, but you can tell the ones who clearly don’t respect them, their artistry, or see them as individuals, and I think these are the jkkrs most likely to switch up on them if one or the other acts in a way they don’t like.

It’s also sort of like some of them will call out other jkkrs because it’s disturbing their curated bubble but they’ve so successfully blocked out tkkrs and normalized JM hate that they just don’t even bother to say anything about it anymore, and that does rub me the wrong way. Like I said I’m all for holding each other accountable, but having energy for your own community but not the rampant insane JM antis who have been out of control even though you supposedly stan him is definitely a choice (and this is not at people who are genuinely ia).

In the past, I'd agree with you. But the amount of times I've seen Jimin and/or JK get shaded or degraded by a Jkker, and barely really do or say anything is insane. Especially recently there seems to be a "new wave" of Jkkers determined to "humanize" Jimin, but ending up just dragging him. I'm not talking "Jimin has been annoyed with JK before too", more like portraying Jimin as insecure, lying, mean, and undeserving of JK.

Oof, yeah I’m not super deep in the jkkr community lately so if that’s going on then that’s just… super messed up 🙃 I really hope it’s just a small group of people doing that. It’s weird how some people genuinely are incapable of defending one without casting the other in a weird light, makes you wonder how they actually view jkk because to me it’s pretty easy to defend both of them because they’re so unproblematic and supportive of each other 😭 (like clearly some jkkrs are unhappy with jkk and the way they behave bc it doesn’t meet their idealized romanticized standards and I think these are the people who are most likely to say weird things in “defense” of them because deep down they do take issue with some of their actions - imo it’s definitely a minority tho).

My main point of contention was the "OT7 Jikook Supporter" types deciding to rise from the dead to defend and protect antis over Jimin or JK, and claim anyone who disagrees with them is a solo or anti with no proof nor reason.

😭 yeah. going to stop myself from rambling on this because this response is already longer than I intended, but the “hardcore” OT7 types are frustrating and exhausting with their hivemind mentality and lack of critical thinking and the way that they would protect the company and certain narratives and random accounts over the actual BTS members they claim to stan. They see everything as black and white and good or evil, they can’t see the nuance in any situation, and some of them are so fixated on solos that they’ll take the exact opposite stance of anything they say just for the hell of it, some are so deep in their fanwar with MHJ/tokkis they'll literally shade JK etc. idk it’s weird.

jkkrs like this are especially odd because like I’ve ranted about on here before, if you can’t see the issues with this fandom knowing the way they have platformed and refused to deal with tkkrs for all these years like… IDK people don’t seem to recognize you can criticize something but still care for it. I drag ARMYs because I am one and I’m always going to point out issues in our community because I want it to improve (same applies to jkk community). IDK, but yeah, I feel you. I think so many things would be solved if people were just more willing to have these open non-judgemental conversations instead of jumping on people so quickly, but maybe it’s just kind of an impossible task with a fandom so big and volatile. I have a lot of respect and appreciation for the handful of really genuine ARMYs I've seen working hard all throughout CH2 though (especially jkkrs, we've had it rough as far as fandom stuff goes 😭).

Hope you are doing well, and Happy New Year 💜

And thank you, you too!! Happy New Year! We finally made it to 2025! Hopefully only good things to come this year.

[mangodestroyer]

Anyone else starting to think that maybe they don't have a "mental illness" or a "mental condition", but that they're actually just having a normal response to their environment?

I used to really identify with depression. As well as autism. They were things that a couple therapists suggested. And I used to find comfort in them because I thought they described my life experience pretty well.

And also, I used to be one of those people who got super into Psychology and started wondering if there was something very wrong with me. I started getting all "do I have this?" and "do I have that?" I also started getting super obsessed with "toxicity" and "working on myself." Thought that I was horrible and toxic for still being miserable at times and that I needed to "put in the work and sort out my problems" to... whatever magical point determines if you've actually "done the work."

It's because the advice is always about "looking inward" because "you're 100% in control of your emotions and responses to things. You can "do the work" to make things better!" Which isn't a bad thing to be aware of and practice, but this can be pretty dismissive and toxic to say about certain situations. But blaming outside factors is considered "toxic."

Um, yeah. I might actually be prone to feeling down at times. Feeling anxious. Having bad thoughts. And, well, autistic tendencies. But tbh, I think my environment has always greatly aggravated those problems. I mean, that's just a natural side effect of living in such a toxic environment where certain people go out of their way to make you miserable/disrespect you and your belongings. While other people shrug or even encourage them. Or being around people who ACTUALLY struggle with emotional regulation (getting super angry all the time, ALL THE TIME, and making it other people's problem; my mother loved to/still does use me as a therapist but doesn't care about my problems in the slightest, so I think that would be a source of misery for someone).

On top of that, isn't it normal for people to sometimes be awkward or overly analytical? Or to get super upset over dumb shit (i.e. misinterpreting a situation as you being left out and feeling under appreciated)? Or to get envious of others when they have something you've always wanted? Or to get super frustrated when dealing with a difficult individual?

I've been talking to irl people more and they don't actually seem to think I'm that abnormal/weird/toxic. Two people told me it's my environment and I need to get out, or at least, find some way to get away from it now and then. And also, people aren't put off by my "autism" either (seriously, I am diagnosed with a similar condition and ig could be on the spectrum, so I'm not trying to dismiss the diagnosis or anything, but I also don't think it's a social death sentence like I used to). I used to think it was scaring people off/causing bullying behaviors in others, but that's actually not true. Working through my trauma, however, has made me more confident and THAT'S making people approach me more. But being terminally online led me to fall down a weird Psychology rabbit hole where I started believing I was too weird, horrible, and neurotic.

It's also been proven that the way therapy is done, at least here in the U.S., just doesn't work. Keeping things surface level and promoting toxic positivity isn't going to help someone with some heavy problems (which is going to be most people in therapy). I think there's also a shaming factor to it (being considered toxic if you aren't always okay). Or just the extreme push with drugs (seriously, I can't even visit a doctors office these days, as someone who is anxious around medical professionals because of bad experiences, without getting anxiety drugs pushed on me!) I've never touch any of those drugs and I'm glad I stayed firm about not taking them. I was almost tempted to because of pressure (literally thought that I was too neurotic at one point and needed anti-psychotics). They just wouldn't have helped me. They would have just been like putting a band aid on a gaping wound. It's disturbing how many medical professionals and therapists will just jump to them within minutes of talking to you.