#it's just so interesting. it's an episode with his dad

[animarune]

Since I started listening (a week ago) I have been describing it as "BBC Sherlock except it's actually Good" or "if BBC Sherlock was good"

Like Sherlock's immediately upfront about his ADHD and autism and everything else and it's not treated as a joke or an excuse to be an asshole, it's just to explain why he's Like This, and they bring it up in a lot of good ways like needing sunglasses and ear defenders to go for a walk.

I really loved his whole "I spent many years studying [several different speech sciences] in order to mask effectively, how hard can it be to learn swingers' code?" speech because it was funny and he's not as good at masking as he thinks he is which is relatable xD

Also yeah John and Mariana aren't there to play dumb, they have their parts to play, and John has his own flaws to overcome, and it's so interesting when he and Sherlock are really gelling together (with their "rapport") and where they bounce off each other. I'm thinking of Sherlock effectively reading his mind in The Cardboard Box up until he opens said box and immediately can think of nothing else but the thrill of the game, and thus misses how John's upset about not telling him it's his birthday and misses the fact that he's triggered John with the contents of the box. I'm thinking of John constantly reminding himself, Sherlock and the listeners that "he was an army doctor" and trying to take charge in situations he has no business doing so.

I'm thinking about the two of them effusively complimenting each other for several minutes before the guy John tackled tells them to shut up already.

I'm thinking about how full of heart this Sherlock is even while struggling with empathy.

Genuinely, this show is so good. Like I follow a few blogs who share quotes from the books about how soft they are or how funny they can be and I feel like this podcast adapts their relationship amazingly compared to the friggin BBC show.

I told my dad my whole "if it were actually good" bit and he was like, "but you really liked that show?" I was like "yeah these videos I watched [hbomberguy's and Sarah Z's] forced me to realize how bad the writing was all along" and we talked about Moffat struggling with concise stories when given too much time to fill. (I explained there was a shorter pilot episode that was actually good.) I forgot to mention the reason I liked the show so much had more to do with the fandom surrounding it at the time and all the fan works I consumed lol

Anyway, yeah, tl;dr: Sherlock & Co. is great and anyone interested in Sherlock Holmes and/or true crime podcasts ought to give it a listen!!

Sh&co vs. bbc sherlock

Something I feel that really separates Sh&co from bbc Sherlock is that Sherlock is not some super computer mind thats a million steps ahead of everyone.

Yes he is incredibly smart, but he's not the only one who is solving the problems. Like there are several episodes where he couldn't have solved the crimes without John and Mariana.

I just really love how they all work together- Like Mariana and John don't just exists to look stupid compared to Sherlock.

[read-write-thrive]

there are all of 6 fics on ao3 that come up when you search the word “disabled” in the dead boy detectives fandom. I’m dealing with a fibromyalgia flare up rn so I’ve decided to come up with some (potential!) disability/condition/syndrome/etc. headcanons. enjoy!

(oh and just to note: I stayed away from conditions with obvious facial / appearance difference as no actors with facial / appearance difference were cast in the show and I was unsure if it would be appropriate. while I have experience with a lot of the following diagnoses, I do not claim to be an expert on any of them and do not intend for this to be used as a diagnostic tool. if you feel any of these are offensive/inappropriate, please message me and I’m happy to talk about it :) this is more just to encourage broader disability representation within the fandom!)

Edwin: autistic, PTSD (from hell), chronic pain/fibromyalgia (from his death/hell), minor visual impairment (not enough to need the hard-to-come-by testing needed for glasses when he was alive and so assumed the various limits/effects were normal. was told otherwise by Niko), would’ve had shingles if lived long enough

Charles: ADHD, PTSD (from his father/growing up in an abusive household), dyslexia, Reynaud’s syndrome (either already born with it or as a result of his death—both angsty), was in the beginning stages of an ED prior to his death, post-concussion syndrome, near-sightedness (never given glasses bc he wasn’t about to tell his dad the board looked a little blurry sometimes)

Crystal: cPTSD (reminder that neglect is also abuse :), bipolar 1, IBS, endometriosis

Niko: autism, depression, POTS, hEDS, anxiety, sprite-induced agoraphobia, epilepsy, lactose intolerance

Monty: Depersonalization-derealization disorder, selective amnesia (this is not the first times Esther has messed with his form/killed and revived him, but the experience is traumatic and so his brain decides not to remember it), recurrent arrhythmia, synesthesia

Jenny: OCD, BPD, ED recovered, Celiac’s disease, diabetes type 1, anemia

TCK: autism, NPD, lactose intolerance, colourblind

Esther: chronic pain (I’m choosing to believe that the cane isn’t just for show!!), NPD, endometriosis

Tragic Mick: cPTSD, depression, HoH, arthritis, diabetes

(The Night Nurse , the Dandelion Sprites, and various other characters felt either too supernatural and/or not developed enough to assign anything to lmao)

[apdreadful]

Since the election I have deactivated some of my social media. Blocked some people I never should have ever engaged with to begin with, and unfollowed several accounts on IG that just don’t bring me joy.

And 911onabc was one.

Is it because Buck & Tommy didn’t end together? No. I’m a grown ass adult. I can be irritated by the something and not be dramatic or hateful about it.

It was because several storylines lately have been complete bullshit.

They start strong with solid good storytelling. But then..eh we’re bored. Only whatever we do absolutely can not make sense!

The lazy fucking way they wrote Christopher’s character out, and that weird ass doppelgänger storyline.

New season? Let’s start by putting Bobby and Athena through to some major disaster! Hey it worked last season! Let’s do it again! (Do not even get me started on that fucking drug cartel shit..what the hell even was that??)

We are only allowed to have one character or couple drama free at a time. And if we can’t come up with a plausible way to create discord or havoc, we’ll just do some stupid shit instead!

Spend several seasons showing the deep strong bond between Eddie and Christopher. Gavin’s family moves? Just make it something dumb..but fast! I know let’s have him get mad at his dad and ask to move in with his grandparents!! Never mind he’d never do that!

The amount of psychological trauma they have inflicted on Maddie. The near death experiences of Chimney. Jesus. Just what tf?

Hmmm. Karen and Hen..the fans would revolt if we broke them up. So let’s go after their kids!! And we can’t make it about them being gay! Let’s create this over the top villain Councilwoman Ortiz. Who’s the mother of that drunk coked up dude from the accident. Only we absolutely cannot have Hen or anyone defend what happened or shut that shit down by saying “Your son was a fucking menace and maybe if you hadn’t kept covering for him he would have gotten some fucking help and not caused an accident.” Also do not mention Hen was cleared of all wrong doing. Nope. Logic has no place here!

Ok so the fans have been clamoring for Buddie. But Eddie Diaz is straight. Period.

So hey! Let’s make Buck bisexual. And tell everyone we are getting him off the hamster wheel (because really, we’ve given him the emotional depth of a teaspoon for a while now)..And his love interest/boyfriend should be Tommy Kinard, who used to work at the 118, and we will invest time to give him a compelling backstory, and lay a ton of Easter eggs showing how richly we can mine this pairing and these characters.

And make them HAPPY for several episodes. Blissfully in love. And then totally out of the blue, let’s break them up. But the reason has to be complete bullshit, totally against character out of left field BULLSHIT. Like they should start out the episode great and about 80 percent in..wait! Let’s also make him the SAME Tommy Abbie from season one was engaged to before she started banging Buck! And then let’s make Tommy who is so into Buck it’s palpable, dump him because he’s afraid of getting his heart broken! Even though it’s one of the most tired, overdone, stupid tropes ever!!

Yeah. I don’t know WTF is going on in the writers room I would swear it’s like there’s this talented group of writers who start stories, and then they go out in Wilshire Blvd and ask some random person on the street to write the ending, but they have to do it, right there in the next 20 minutes.

No I am not going to stop watching 911 forever. I just don’t really want to see them on my IG. This last stunt, sparked only incredulity and scorn.

[stanfordsweater]

i think it's interesting to say that we don't see dean vulnerable often because, especially in the early seasons but continuing to the end of the show, i feel like we see him vulnerable all the time-- we're granted the gift of being the camera all those times he's close to tears, a stand-out example being in what is and what should never be when we see him on his knees crying over fake!john's grave, but there are many many other examples of him being very vulnerable/cracked-open to the audience that i feel people do a real disservice to by forgetting.

right off the bat we see him vulnerable in the pilot when he talks about pursuing john and sam reminds him he's going back to school:

where he has to take a second and remind himself that he doesn't get sam back, because sam has a life, and dean collects himself but won't even look at sam beyond a derisive glance when he says "i'll take you home."

what is this moment if not planting the seeds for when dean later says, in shadow, that what he really wants is sam with him and his family back together?

SAM: I mean, what are you gonna do when it’s all over? DEAN: It’s never gonna be over. There’s gonna be others. There’s always gonna be somethin’ to hunt. SAM: But there’s got to be somethin’ that you want for yourself— DEAN: Yeah, I don’t want you to leave the second this thing’s over, Sam. SAM: Dude, what’s your problem? DEAN: Why do you think I drag you everywhere? Huh? I mean, why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place? SAM: ‘Cause Dad was in trouble. ‘Cause you wanted to find the thing that killed Mom. DEAN: Yes, that, but it’s more than that, man. You and me and Dad—I mean, I want us… I want us to be together again. I want us to be a family again. SAM: Dean, we are a family. I’d do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before. DEAN: (sadly) Could be. SAM: I don’t want them to be. I'm not gonna live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you’re gonna have to let me go my own way.

and what is THIS moment if not dean being vulnerable? when he's reminded that the "something he wants for himself" is completely impossible because sam doesn't want it and dad left without a word by choice?

my best guess is that people don't read these moments as dean being vulnerable because he's turned away from sam-- in the pilot, he looks out the window and purses his lips and takes sam back to school. in shadow, he physically turns away from sam and grabs at the dresser and his expression shuts down when sam says no.

that doesn't mean that dean is necessarily angry or feeling possessive over sam, it's because dean can't show his vulnerability to sam (at this point in the show), because he has to be strong and he has to keep a lid on his problems or people die. deep down dean feels like wanting anything for himself is selfish and impossible. going back to what is and what should never be, that is the thesis of the entire episode: dean gets his deepest wish, and hundreds of people die. and he is broken over it.

DEAN All of them. Everyone that you saved, everyone Sammy and I saved. They're all dead. (...) It's like my old life is, is coming after me or something. Like it doesn't want me to be happy. Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but… "So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest." Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? (begins to cry while talking) What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life, Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? (pause) It's… (Dean's lips tremble. Silence. We hear the sky rumbling. Tears begin to falls on DEAN's cheek.) Yeah…

but where my sam-as-POV theory about why people keep saying dean isn't vulnerable dies is that we see these moments, so how do other people interpret them? is it just a case of not remembering? do some people think i'm totally off-base with this?

[raguma1002]

If Bojack and PB started a relationship after the end of season 6 and got married, do you think it would be discreet? or that they would like to have children? I honestly think they would be really cute as parents. For me, they would both make great parents, honestly. They have their flaws and personal problems that we all already know what they are, but in several episodes Bojack is shown dreaming of having a family, and being a father. Like the episode where he dreams of having a daughter, or the one about the baby seahorse. I think they could adopt, or try artificial insemination. In the story I thought of in my head, which may never see the light of day, they are already married and PB is thinking a lot about building a family with Bojack. And PB thought it would be great to have a son who looked like Bojack. So, reluctantly, Bojack does and they have a horse son. A little while later PB tries it with his own DNA. The story would have a bit of Bojack's hesitation, as, for him, it would be better if his bloodline ended with him. But PB's request was so genuine that he tried to do what he didn't want, even though deep down he also wanted to do it (since deep down he always wanted to have a family and be a father, even if he didn't know it). That's clear. that would cause problems between them, but would be resolved with conversation and love.

hey!! honestly, i think that in the original after the end of the show they would hardly become parents, because a) bojack really has a lot of mental problems that he needs to work on; b) it seems that pb just doesn't want children; c) they're a little old for this? if, for example, after some time after the beginning of the relationship they came to the point that they wanted children, bojack would be about 60 years old already.

but! it's interesting to consider this as an au! if you imagine that under certain circumstances they could have children (for example, they would be younger and really ready for this), then yes, it could be possible! they'd be nice parents, i think.

of course it is unlikely that bojack would be such a perfect father as in his fantasies, but at least he would try to become the one. it'd be like his relationship with hollyhock, but warmer and healthier? especially if they had a daughter. mr peanutbutter just seems like a cheerful and supportive dad judging by the interactions with his nephews. he would also feel more comfortable in the role of a parent than bojack since he grew up in an intact loving family (practically)

anyway. it'd be interesting to know more about your idea! bobutter community is also always open to new aus, so you're welcome! :)

[fanfic-lover-girl]

This is an interesting take and I like the idea of Yon Rha having a young daughter or grandaughter and Katara sparing him because of that. I still like the idea that Katara spared him because she wouldn't gain anything from killing someone so pathetic but I admit that climax was a bit of a letdown. Especially at the end where Aang thinks she forgave him, showing he still doesn't understand her feelings, and Katara is left conflicted about her feelings. It feels even more ridiculous when Sokka is shown on screen killing people. Pretty sure Aang has inadvertently killed someone. And FN soldiers were likely killed in the invasion. But suddenly it's a sin for Katara to kill the man who hurt her personally?? Please!

Aang's warning was valid but I disagree that Zuko was encouraging vengeance for Katara. If anything, Zuko was merely echoing what she felt. Zuko never encouraged her to do anything and it's a disservice to Katara to say that. That's almost like saying Zuko encouraged Sokka to find his dad just because he offered information on Boiling Rock! What double standards.

As for the attack on Sokka, there are several things about their sibling relationship that are never resolved. Sokka and Katara deserved more screen time in this episode. Sokka seeing Katara as a replacement mommy deserved to be addressed. Katara has a right to feel bitter about this especially since Sokka told Toph of all people but never told Katara - she overheard it. Katara and Sokka needed to hash things out and they both needed to apologize to each other, instead this episode became battleground for shipping wars when this is about Katara.

I really don’t like this episode, and there are two reasons why:

Don’t get me wrong.  It’s a good episode, but Katara’s reason for letting the fire bender who killed her mother live seemed really weak to me.  I think a stronger lesson for Katara would have been for her to track down Yon Rha and be right on the verge of ending his life when at the last moment she sees that this monster of her childhood has a granddaughter of his own.  Here she is about to kill the man who took the person she loved most, and right there in front of her is another scared, little girl who doesn’t understand what’s going on.  She doesn’t understand Katara’s anger, she just sees a terrible water bending lady about to murder her grandfather, someone she loves, and she’s going to grow up remembering that, and one day she too is going to seek vengeance on Katara.  Realizing all this, Katara backs down and ends the cycle of hatred.  It still scans with her not forgiving Yon Rha in the end, but the addition of a small child that mirrors her childhood strikes home a little harder.  That, I think, would have been a bigger emotional impact for her character.

Plus, with all the complex and nuanced characters in this series, having Yon Rha be this pathetic, old man seemed a little out of place.  For a series like this, I would have expected him to be more of a sad elder in retirement, showcasing that even the villains of the story can be haunted by the choices they made and the lives they destroyed.  No redemption, no forgiveness, just the acceptance of something terrible that can never be changed.  They kinda touched on this with Iroh but not to the extent they could have gone with Yon Rha.

However, I can understand the writers’ choices.  The version of Katara’s journey above seems more in line with Aang’s warning, and contrasting that with Zuko’s encouragement for vengeance, I can see why it’s important to let Katara as a character find her own way with her own reasons.  What really, really pisses me off about this episode, though, is that she never apologizes to her brother for what she said. “Maybe you didn’t love her as much as I did.”  That is a cruel, thoughtless thing to say to someone who was only trying to help and has been grieving in their own way.  Yes, she was upset and she said it in the heat of a moment, but the fact she never tells Sokka that she’s sorry and she didn’t mean it is where this episode really fails Katara as a character.  Being upset doesn’t excuse you from being nasty to the people around you.  She learned her lesson, yes, but she said something very hurtful to her brother in the process, and the fact this is never addressed has always bugged me.  Even a nonverbal apology, or hug or something, would’ve been better than nothing.

[muffinrag]

sometimes alan alda writes really well. sometimes he writes the silliest oc fanfiction i've ever seen in my life

[vegaseatsass]

You know, these past two episodes I was thinking to myself, Su Yin is almost perfect in every way, simply the ideal devoted, protective, loyal, dedicated sworn brother, call him Da-ge indeed!!!, but my one piece of constructive criticism is that he needs to learn how to give real hugs - he does a lot of manful shoulder clasping, but Xiaobao is a shivering chihuahua desperately in need of cuddles and body heat, you gotta HUG THAT BOY - but now I see that Su Yin's hugs are simply reserved for his horrible little gremlin of an imperial cousinwife.

[youngpettyqueen]

did you know that there 8 actors who have been in all 3 members of the "sci fi trifecta" (Star Trek, Star Wars, Doctor Who) and did you know that one of them is Siddig. in related news guess who's finally gonna listen to Doctor Who audios

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Generally love how anyone who at least watched a little Horrid Henry agrees on one thing: those parents were beyond shit and Henry will very likely go no contact as soon as he's an adult.

[cienie-isengardu]

Lo and Li and their (not) looking after Azula and Zuko in "The Beach"

I have talked a lot about Zuko and Azula lately because “The Beach” episode gives a lot of context for their relationship, but it would be a crime to omit the most funny detail (implication) coming from this episode: the presence of Lo and Li.

Those two older women were introduced into the series as Azula’s teachers (that definitely fueled her unhealthy sense of perfectionism) and some sort of advisors before the princess recruited Ty Lee and Mai on the hunt for Zuko, Iroh and later, the Avatar. The story alone gives little about Lo and Li, but considering their relationship and influences on the princess, we can assume they had, if not outright trust, then at least Ozai’s approval to keep an eye on his “precious”, prodigy daughter. As they were the only adults connected to Fire Lord and at whose house the Royal Siblings and their friends stayed in "The Beach" episode, I thought of them as not really nannies, but more like chaperones.

Zuko and Azula faced Avatar and survived, Mai and Ty Lee proved to be capable of beating down full grown men one on one (or more precisely, one vs many). So fine, ok, Ozai may trust his kids to be able to defend themselves - if the thought about their safety even occurred to him at all. But Zuko and Azula are, and I can’t stress it enough, teenagers sent on vacation and teenagers may do stupid stuff for fun just to taste the little freedom granted them. So it makes sense to me that Lo and Li should supervise the Royal Siblings, because vacation or not, they are still prince and princess, the precious heirs to the throne. And like, Zuko is with his girlfriend (official fiancee?) and you can never be sure what teenagers in love and with buzzing hormones will do, right? Same with Azula, who as we learn through the episode, will happily grab the occasion to flirt with a  handsome, popular boy and the innocent kiss turned out quickly into her passionate rant: “Together, you and I will be the strongest couple in the entire world! We will dominate the Earth!”. 

Azula’s mind really jumped from casual fun (no harm done if Ozai won’t learn about it) to the conclusion that boy she knew for what? a few hours at best will be her boyfriend and part of the future (military?) plans and understandable Chen freaked out and ran away. The taste of freedom affected even Azula, our so emotionally composed, clever girl, because again, a teenager, adolescent curiosity, lack of supervision and buzzing hormones are a dangerous mix. 

(I suspect Zuko getting Mai pregnant would be less scandalous than if Azula - the princess - ended with a bastard child at the age of 14/15. If Ozai would even allow the kid to be born.)

And what Lo and Li were doing the whole episode? Either giving some cryptic speech about how Ember Island is a magical place or encourage kids.

“Time to hit the beach!“ they said

while never bothering going with kids there

(or did Lo and Li have fun on their own ignoring the bunch of their temporary wards?).

And when Azula, Zuko and Ty Lee talked about Chen and why Azula didn’t betray their Royal Family status (and presumably of going to the night party)? Again, the two old women did nothing besides giving some more cryptic advice and saying “to the party!”.

Like, they were totally okay that Fire Royal Siblings (in range of age from 14 to 16) planned to stay at house of unknown boy(s) for the whole night. Again, Zuko is 16, at best almost 17, but Azula is 14 (at best 15) and I don’t think this is an appropriate age to let a girl - especially the princess you are responsible for - go to a party with presumably much older boys. 

(Unless this is why Azula demanded Zuko, her older brother, to be invited alongside her? Not like he checked out if she is alright before he was kicked out for the fight with Mai over some guy but I guess, with a sister like Azula it is easy to assume she doesn’t need babysitting, because Azula could and would kick Chen or anyone else’s ass if they pissed her off). 

My point is, Lo and Li could give the girls and Zuko some serious talk or at least ask to be careful or anything the supposed chaperons should say (or like,  outright demand from Zuko to keep an eye on his younger sister and the noble girls as the oldest and you know, the guy). Because Azula is first and foremost a princess, the same as Zuko is the prince and like, the Royal Family does not need any teenage drama and scandal (and from the previous episode we know Azula and Zuko are now the public figures at the capital).

I’m not sure if perceiving Lo and Li as some sort chaperons to the “banished for a weekend” Royal Siblings was author’s intention or not, but there is something incredible funny how those old women introduced as strict teachers criticizing Azula for not perfect hairstyle while she is working on her lighting technique - a skill absolutely amazing to have at the age of 14 - won’t even bother to keep an eye on the same girl and just let the whole bunch of emotionally stunted and traumatized teenagers freely roam on the “magical” beach and go to night party to total strangers. It is pretty hilarious if not a bit sad. Because wow, Ozai did not give much fuck about any of his kids one way or another. 

Aaand this is what I get when rewatching ATLA as an adult lol.

I know this is animations for kids/teenagers, but what if Chen didn’t freak out? Would Azula be curious enough to experience something more than just a kiss? And well, we assume Chen and Ruon-Jian are in age close to Zuko & Azula (as if they were adults they would be enrolled into army, I think?) But there is still a room for them being older than Zuko who himself is two years older than Azula. Also, them inviting Ty Lee & Mai specifically for how they look without bothering to ask for their name and the way a group of boys cornered Ty Lee to the point she needed to chi-blocking all of them kinda gives me the feeling the party was an occasion for them to pick up girl for night or something along the way. Dunno if I read the scene/intention right but it gives that vibe I guess…?

[void-proxima]

One of the more heartbreaking episodes of this show was released on April 28, 2019: "This is Not A Drill", featuring Drill Man (...and his absolutely abysmal excuse for a father). To commemorate it, I drew him over the weekend (and touched up the shading today). As always, the poor guy is not having a good time.

no background version under the cut:

[fluffypotatey]

*smashes in like the Kool-Aid man*

PENDRAGON SIBLINGS YOU SAY????

I have. So many Feels. About Themst™

The complexity?? The layers?? The angst?? Hello??????

Their relationship is just So Much, because you are right, it's all tangled up in miscommunication and missed opportunities, and so many problems that can be sourced back to Uther "War Crimes" Pendragon, who wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it bit him on the ass.

If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.

Because it's the lonely childhoods, the shared grief, the friendship, the vulnerability, the fondness, the teasing, the envy, the jealousy, the almost romance, the protectiveness, the betrayal, the loss, the hurt, the refusal to let go and the desperate hanging on, and the love, the love, the love.

Indifference is the true opposite of love.

Hate is love that's gone rotten.

“If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.” oh fuck….

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK

WAIT HOLD ON WAIT LEMME PIGGYBACK ON THAT BESTIE @0hheytherebigbadwolf (tagging you bc it will be a couple days after you sent this ask)

(Also, for anyone wanting background context on what me and bestie are bouncing off on: voilà)

OK OK SO

we are all familiar with King Uther being the greatest (worst) dad of all time, correct? places such high expectations on his “only son and heir” whilst never officially acknowledging Morgana as his daughter until the very end?

F+ father of the year :)

he is not above sending his children into the dungeon if they disobey him as seen here:

(Jfc he even put Morgana in chains like wtf)

also, he is not above using emotional guilt towards them when he deems it necessary (aka one of the only times he actually acknowledges them as his children)

UTHER (1x02 Valiant) I trust you will make me proud.

UTHER (1x08 The Beginning of the End) I’ve treated you like a daughter. Is this how you repay me?

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) You are the daughter I never had.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) You would believe a sorcerer’s lies over the word of your father?

not to mention that when Arthur or Morgana try to reason with him or argue with him since they are the only ones with the status to do so, he pulls rank

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) May I remind you that you are speaking to your King [...] Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am your king and your father. You will show me some respect!

UTHER (2x06 Beauty and the Beast) We live in dangerous times, I cannot allow you to undermine my authority.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final.

ngl i could include more but i have already spent hours searching for shit (YOUTUBE WILL DIE BY MY HAND THAT STINGY BITC—) but y’all get what i mean: Uther is an abusive fucker and it has messed up the conditions of Arthur and Morgana

now, about the double edged blade…..

as previously established, Uther is a fucking dick and wants his children to obey him but also adore him. with this behavior, the Pendragon siblings react in two ways: with anger & contempt or submission and remorse

way #1

i’m gonna start with Morgana because anger is the easiest to pick out throughout the show. in the first episode of the first season, our introduction to Morgana’s character is her lecturing Uther about executing the man Merlin witnessed upon entering Camelot (such a warm welcome for Emrys, mh?)

MORGANA I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for a celebration. That poor mother. UTHER It was simple justice for what he'd done. MORGANA To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone. UTHER You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like. MORGANA How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?

early on, it is easy to pick up on Morgana’s resentment and anger at Uther, who she believes is blinded by his fear of magic and his need for control (which she isn’t wrong about). also, we find that she isn’t one to back off when poking the bear (Uther). she does it constantly in seasons 1 & 2

MORGANA (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning when she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers? Like an idle king!

MORGANA (1x08 The Beginning of the End) How can this child be your enemy? He's just a boy. UTHER He is a Druid. MORGANA Is that such a crime?…What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?

UTHER (2x04 Lancelot and Guinevere) How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant? MORGANA  As many as it takes!

to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised if screaming, arguing and berating Uther about his morals and ethics is her way of proving that she is not weak or submissive to his actions. i mean, Morgana grew up in a household the complete opposite from her time in Camelot. Gorlois, the man whom Morgana considers to be her father and one and only family member, was said to be “just” and “kind” and someone that Uther even considered a good friend who openly kept him in check. Morgana, until the age of ten, understood parental love and empathy unlike Arthur, who spent his whole life without any good or healthy substance of it.

the culture of Camelot and Uther’s wrath is not something Morgana was ever able to fully acclimate to as Uther himself pointed out in 1x12. She “was at odds with [him] since the beginning” and could never picture herself as a Pendragon (point further proven in 4x05: she looked revolted when Queen Annis compared her to Uther) because she didn’t share in their idea of magic = evil and a king = absolute control.

ironic in terms of future plot events, isn’t it :’)

way #2

compare that to Arthur: man’s respressed af. keeps all his emotions under lock and key if they are anything but haughty and serious. y’all, Arthur even says it himself how he “[can't] disagree with Father [Uther] in public.” whenever Arthur finds himself at odds with Uther, he holds his tongue and waits until he can disobey secretly (2x05 when he leaves to rescue Gwen, 1x08 when he helps Morgana sneak out Mordred in the dark of the night, 2x08 when he sneaks out to meet Morgause for more info about his mom, etc). it is only the rare moments when Arthur feels impassioned enough to speak up without fearing any retribution does Arthur talk back at him (so satisfying 👌)

ARTHUR (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) [Morgana’s] right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen.

ARTHUR (2x08 Sins of the Father) This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them….You hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?!….You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!

ARTHUR (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You can't forbid my feelings any more than I can. I won't deny them any longer, I love her. I love Guinevere.

we can even compare how the two react to Uther’s violence towards them

(ahahahahahaaaaa what a wonderful dad)

on the left, you see Arthur’s face right when Uther crushes the morteus flower needed to heal Merlin (his manservant/friend/????) and on the right, is Morgana after Uther discovers she was harboring a Druid child in her chambers and she refuses to listen to his reason.

notice how both faces are remarkably similar 👀

however, Arthur’s look of shock and dismay come from his hope that Uther would do the right thing. that he would help save Merlin’s life from dying of poison. that he wouldn’t use this as a method to teach Arthur “what it means to disobey and cross the king.” he truly did hope, just like he always does with the people he holds close. Arthur cannot help but hope and trust that those close to him will not betray him and yet so many do. hence the remorse

looking at Morgana, her shock comes from the fact that this might be the first time Uther reacted to her words and actions in a physical manner. my suspicion is that most of the time, all Morgana previously got was Uther reprimanding her and yelling at her to stop questioning his methods (bc, let’s be real, she was the favorite child.) never has he lifted a finder on her like Arthur and i have proof (cue transcript!)

AND! and, Arthur is constantly warning Morgana about not angering Uther any further because of the consequences she might face (consequences this boy is very familiar with) when Uther deems it necessary to “teach” his children obedience.

UTHER (1x04 The Poisoned Chalice) You have to learn there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you're let out in a week. Then you can find yourself another servant.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final [...] This is for your own good. - UTHER She will die. The enchantment will be broken. You'll see I was right.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am protecting you from your own foolishness!

so educational 🥰 but see, because Uther presents his punishments as lessons, Arthur himself views them as just a fucked up but meaningful way of his father’s concern because “yeah, I am the first born son and only heir to the throne. of course I need to learn not to do silly things like disobey, talk back to him, be my own person.” <- I’m paraphrasing here

Arthur does and has never seen a way out of the life thrust upon him by Uther (see 3x06). succeeding Uther as king, marrying a noblewoman of high standing for heirs and alliance strength was always expected of him. Arthur never saw a way out of this. even when he and Gwen were in their secret relationship phase, Arthur had to remind himself that this would never last. he loved her and knew she loved him, but there was always that reminder (that sounded a lot like Uther) in the back of his head telling him that it would never last so long as he was prince. he had a duty (constructed by Uther) to serve Camelot and going against his father would mean (in his eyes) that he is going against Camelot (as Uther always presented it to be).

so unlike Morgana, he did not kick and scream but stood firm because that was what he believed was stronger. if he stayed in his lane and did his part, then he would be a good king, maybe even a better one than his father, for Camelot. however, the show proves that differentiating himself from Uther actually made him the better king and more respected, but this is not the meta for that. I am getting side tracked.

OK: so we’ve established parental issues between the two siblings. now onto their very complex, complicated yet beloved dynamic

sO, as i mentioned in this post (because i am lazy and too tired to copy/paste the evidence from there), these siblings do care for one another. they just go about it in the most hilarious and repressed and in-denial way (hilarious to me 😤)

when we meet them, it’s established that these two have known each other for some time. enough for them to bicker and have banter, you know, as you do with a Pendragon. also, should add, neither character are ever aware they are blood-related until s3 (because of some weak-ass bitch named Uther), so you have that very, uh, interesting subplot in s1 that everybody forgets about until you rewatch it. (honestly, I have so many questions. number 1: why???? number 2: it’s only in s1—was it scrapped??? is it like it never existed???? what was its purpose to the plot??? bbc explain yourself—)

however, despite how much it is shown that they do care for one another, they’re relationship in s1 is still undefined and vague as if they also don’t know how to accurately define what the other means to them. it’s very similar to the whole “i really love this person so much but is what i’m feeling platonic, familial, or romantic?” because….you know, guy and girl besties who are close are typically expected to grow romantic feelings for each other, so tbh i would not be surprised if both mistook their love as romantically inclined in the beginning bc, reminder, neither of them were aware they were siblings until much later.

[and this is ALL i am saying on this subplot. i do not want to cause any negative discourse, so if anyone has a few choice words about it, either keep it to yourself or feel free to talk about it with people you know. personally? not a fan of the ship and never will be, but i am not here to post about that.]

anyway, have some featured receipts showing Arthur and Morgana slipping up and showing how much they care for each other.

SEE!!!! LOOK AT HOW THE CARE!!!! SEE HOW THEY WORRY FOR THE OTHER AND WISH TO PROTECT THEM FROM HARM!!! (and see how even when they’re on opposite sides there is still that same love. just more warped and corrupted T^T)

^worried/protective Morgana

^Arthur’s face after Merlin informs him that there’s an intruder heading to Morgana’s chambers

Morgana is very aware of Arthur’s trusting nature. Arthur is very aware of Morgana’s empathy and righteous nature. they understand each other so well which is why Morgana knew just how to harm Arthur in later seasons and why Morgana’s betrayal hit Arthur so hard. it’s also why he never stopped trying to reach out to her in s4 & s5. as @merlinemrys said in this lovely post, the show’s driving force is love. love of all kinds. whatever conflict it is, love is there at the center of it all and, in Arthur and Morgana’s case, it does not save them (just like how love does not save Merlin or Arthur from what lies ahead, as the op of the post pointed out).

that is what makes their relationship/love be like a double edged sword!! that is why they are edges of the same blade!!! they protect and fight for what they believe in and for the people they love, but the same blades cut deep and twist their wounds into a lasting scar.

it is because of Arthur’s love for Morgana that he cannot help but hope and mourn the woman he once knew. it is because of Morgana’s love for Arthur that her feelings of hatred are so strong and ugly.

like honestly,

look at them T^T compared to before

their relationship is so tragic T^T because we knew them before it all went wrong. we knew they cared and understood each other. we knew that for some time, they only had each other to rely on for a friend, a crutch, a breather for when the royal life was too much. both of them were fighters and strive to honor their values. both of them had once leaned on the other for support, had wanted nothing but happiness for each other.

fuck, they didn’t even get the chance to really be siblings because they found out too late, and by then Morgana was on a war path and Arthur only found out at the last minute.

like fuck, man

two sides of the same blade: forged with love, yet used for blood

screencaps brought to you by me, @sourdough-morbread, and farfarawaysite

[metabolizemotions]

Maybe Station 19 was like an experimental cubist painting.

There were too many stories to be told and too many people trying to tell them, from too many perspectives, with too many styles…

Each viewer saw a different picture.

It was the show that tried to capture the zeitgeist and represent the under-represented. Also the show that often struggled. With the tones and textures. With representing w/o tokenizing. B/w laughing with and laughing at. B/w realism and romanticizing. B/w deliberate and arbitrary. B/w educating and entertaining. B/w what they consider profane and sacrosanct.

At times, it touched our hearts deeply. At times, it frustrated us to no end.

Not every story was given the respect, sensitivity and intricacy it was due.

One moment could lead to a profound understanding of an aspect of a lived life some of us had never known; while the next could be a moment that was beyond confounding - about an aspect of ourselves that made us feel slighted, diminished and even erased.

It had often been an exercise in empathy to find our common humanity at the intersectionality of stories. Yet, the scale of empathy often skewed too far in favor of some characters with the differing standards, narrative frames and plot armors. Ironically yet reasonably turning people off these very characters they wanted people to root for. A persistent dissonance and disconnect.

But it was also the show that didn’t shy away from the ugly, the raw, the uncomfortable and messy parts of our shared human experience. The tribulations of oppression. The perils of ambition. The tests of morality. The trials of friendship and love. That we would make mistakes, but we could also make amends. That we're not defined by our worst. That our best lives could still be in front of us despite the current struggles. That sometimes life sucks but having your people with you makes it more bearable.

I would think it an interesting journey for the diversity of people behind, on, and in front of the screen. The evolving stories, evolving characters, evolving storytellers, an evolving fandom - all amidst an evolving media landscape.

It was probably not an easy show to make. The show had a bewilderingly lack of support from abc or shondaland. Diversity seemed to be both good for promotion (when there was any) and the reason for the prejudice against it.

Just as it had not been an easy show to watch - so biased, inconsistent and self-contradictory. Like when they kept telling us about the family spirit and deep friendships yet somehow spent more time showing otherwise. Or when the writing of systemic sexism was somehow inherently sexist.

Personally, I don’t think characters belong to the writers alone. Besides the usual constraints, the characters were often adjusted back and forth to fit the plots. We’ve also learnt how network execs' dislikes, writers’ personal experiences were factored into the stories. I fully respect the writers’ artistic rights. But actors who embodied the characters for years have a unique understanding too. Viewers also have their personal takes about what were true to characters. It's ok to agree to disagree.

There had been sparks of brilliance, but often extinguished too soon. It has been confounding how the greys-verse did not capitalise on its vast potential, esp. S19. Even while both shows share a show-runner. Grey's anatomy could have lent its scale while Station 19 could have injected renewed energy back into its mothership. Both shows could have been better for it.

Although the characters have the foundation of distinct and interesting backstories, their development often did not fully utilise the narrative potential and the talents of the cast. I’m sure the crew was also competent and hardworking. But somehow some elements b/w n within the shows seemed to just cancel each other out instead of amplifying their impact. IMO 704 and 709 were a few exceptions.

But I'll always be glad S19 existed and we got a S7. I believe they had tried their best to wrap up and give closure to everyone invested in the show. I truly appreciated the hard work given the circumstances even when I personally didn't agree with some takes.

In the end, I really do want to remember it as the show with heart, the show that made us laugh and cry and the show that tried. The show that's unique - in both its merits and flaws. I’ll definitely miss the characters. One last time - 19!

[dullahandyke]

didnt even touch on the sandra lynn stuff int he tags of the last post bcos if i talk about her im liable to explode. get behind me, middle-aged divorced woman proficient in archery

[nedlittle]

[alt]

2x21 "crisis" really is a perfect episode