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yanderu-deredere · 2 years ago

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a/n: decided to do a lil bulleted thing with ayaka abt how she'd meet her darling! it was largely inspired with how @darling--core wrote abt their yanderes honestly loool and ill probably spend the rest of the weekend doing the rest with the rest with my other yanderes. i'll be queuing them all up one after another lmao

warning: gender neutral reader, implied drugging, non consensual picture taking, there's a blurb where ayaka wears a strap but there's no mentions of any reader genitals other than an 'entrance'

ayaka yamato ★ profile

it was honestly like every other night

which, unfortunately, meant ayaka was bored

she was in another one of the handful of mansions they elected to hang out in with her usual crowd of famous instagrammers and 'social influencers'

they were people like her who were rich (be it through their families or through curating their brands) and who each had their own niche part of the internet

ayaka herself found them all interesting at one point in time, but now they all felt like the same old boring person: just another someone trying to please her to get something or another from her

she'd indulge them because they intrigued her, and the thought of being chased and wooed excited her. but after that, it wasn't fun anymore

one of them was gunning for environmental change, which intrigued her at one point, and then, when the two of them got together, ayaka got bored of her and dumped her

then, there was the video game nerd. he was interesting too and what they said about his thumbs was true. but, after they got together, the chase was over and the two of them were over pretty quickly after

it was truly one of the only things ayaka hated about herself

she got bored. fast

it's in one of these gatherings that you met her eye.

you were another one of the hundreds of people there. you might be one of the more popular influencers, amassing your own following of thousands like her. or, maybe, you're one of the hopeful smaller budding accounts. or, even more surprisingly, you might be a plus one who didn't have anything to do with her world

either way, the way you stared at everything around you in wonder made her almost laugh

she was smaller than you, daintier (that wasn't a feat, ayaka tended to be smaller than anyone she knew) and when you looked down at her, she felt her heart skip a beat

that was a good sign

she definitely knew you were her next target. though, how fast she'd get bored of you, only God knew

"Hi, you are?" She spoke to you in that sugary sweet tone of hers and, when you answered and introduced yourself to her, you spoke to her like a regular human being.

She was used to people referring to her with a tone of wonder or excitement, like she was some sort of amusement park ride or painting at a museum rather than a person. At first, it was nice but it got tiring really fast. It was refreshing to be spoken to normally.

You weren't kissing her ass like the rest of the people in the room. It definitely interested her. It seemed that whoever you are, you didn't know who she was and, for some reason, she wanted to keep it that way.

So, when you raised your cute eyebrow, as if to prompt her for her name, she simply licked her lips and smiled coquettishly at you "Aya."

she'd spend the rest of the night pretty much hanging off of your arm and any time anyone gets even close to spilling the tea as to who she is, she'll send them a look that would freeze boiling water

ayaka would mostly try to keep you to herself, get you somewhere secluded, onto a couch where it's just you and her

she'll corner you and just have like a conversation about all of your deepest dreams and your childhoods and stuff right then and there lol

and it gets weirdly close? like a therapy session with strangers?

but she likes it. and she doesn't know why but it's really easy for her to open up to you and its easy for her to let herself be herself around you

she's always had to be someone but, in front of you, she can just be whoever and it feels.... okay

"Yeah, I don't know. It's an Asian family thing, yeah? Dad's always been tough on me especially." She tucks her legs underneath herself and kind of shrugs, her hands tightening around the uncomfortably moist glass in her lap.

For some reason, she's always been able to just put on a mask, shrug of certain emotions, be the bubbly aya.yama persona that everyone loves.

In front of you, it felt harder. She couldn't meet your gaze. She was scared of seeing your expression, of seeing what was there because then her brain would have to calculate what she'd have to do to counter it.

Then, you'd be just like everyone else.

She heard you shuffle forward and, suddenly, your knees were touching. She felt your hand cup her cheek and, suddenly, you were tucking her hair behind her ear.

Ayaka's eyes fluttered, slowly, uncertainly, to you.

There was no judgement on your face. All she saw was acceptance. She saw worry, she saw a small smile, she saw a person who welcomed her with open arms.

"That's really tough. You don't deserve that, especially from a dad."

She was hooked.

after that, she won't be able to leave you alone

of course, as a social influencer, she knows how to act like a normal member of society. however, on the inside, all she wants to do is occupy your every waking thought--

anyway, she'll try her best to exchange contact information with you and schedule the next time the two of you can hang out!

and, of course, if you don't want to exchange contact information with her... well, there's still some way for her to get what she wants!

Ayaka pressed her lips against yours, her smaller hands hurriedly pushing into your clothes, her glittering fingernails leaving harsh marks against your skin.

You groaned against her mouth, pressing back just as firmly, your tongue coming out to lick almost languidly against hers. She tasted like bittersweet artificial strawberry lipstick and alcohol.

You could feel her pussy grind against your knee and then your thigh, her desperate rutting causing you to bump her against the wall.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon." She pulled away from you just to mutter those three words before she was at it again except, this time, her lips were at your neck, her teeth grazing your skin and, most likely, leaving marks you'll be seeing the next morning.

One of your hands clenched into a fist against the wall, the other helplessly gripped her waist as your hips haltingly thrust into her hip.

"I don't know where to go." You felt your ears heat as you panicked, your embarrassment overtaking this sudden weird arousal that came from nowhere.

She giggled in that oh-so-very endearing way of hers that made your heart go pitter patter and made your cheeks even hotter "Anywhere is fine. I'll be happy to be anywhere with you."

definitely has a photo of her posing in front of one of those dresser mirrors? (am i going crazy, those exist right?) and then in the background is you, lying unconscious in bed, naked with hickeys and stuff all over you

its obvious what happened

would she use this as blackmail?

no, definitely not! what are you talking about!

yes, she definitely would, she'd do anything so you'd be hers

if you're an influencer, you definitely have less followers than her so she'll use that to her advantage

don't you want to collab? don't you want to appear on her posts? or maybe she'll appear on yours? you'll get so many more followers and subscribers if she helps you out!

if you're not, she can still use her influence a little bit. after all, even if you're not, you still must be involved in that world somehow since you got to that party

you have a friend or someone who's an influencer that invited you there, don't you? and she'll milk that for all it's worth. she'll suddenly collab with them and be seen with them and-- oh! it's you! she saw you at the party that one time, didn't she?

and before you know it, you're seeing her everyhere

weirdly enough, you're even seeing her all over your for you page or all over your explore page

suddenly, you have her followed on all of your social media accounts

all of her content is suddenly a bit more geared towards romance and love and getting that one you love to notice you

and when she finally has you in her arms, when you finally fall for her, she'll feel all the relief in the world when the feelings she has for you doesn't turn into boredom like it always used to

in fact, it felt like the feelings she felt for you only increased tenfold

"I'm so happy." She tittered out, her voice high pitched and her eyes almost crescent moons. She looked down at you almost arrogantly, her hands framing your face, just like how her hair curtained you.

"You're mine now, all mine." She pressed a kiss to your forehead, to your cheek, to your chin and then your neck and then one right over your chest.

Her hair, which was usually in a high ponytail to the side, was undone tonight and, instead, spread across the bed as she bowed low to press a kiss above your heart, to your stomach, lower and lower, to your thigh, to your knee.

Then, situated between your two thighs, she moved your legs. For such a small thing with dainty little arms and a thin waist, your legs were nothing for her. She wrapped them around her with ease and before she smiled that sickly sweet smile of hers.

"Mine, mine, all mine." She grouns her hips against yours and you could feel the cold plastic of the dildo strapped to her crotch, the poison bright pink of it almost glaring.

The size and shape of it felt so daunting and, it seemed, Ayaka saw in your expression that you were a bit intimidated because she giggled coyly, even going so far as to cover her mouth with her hand.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of you." She rubbed her hand up and down your leg, her nails scraping against your skin "I prepped you well, didn't I, baby?"

Then, she was moving again, directing the tip to your entrance, pressing it in. Instinctively, your hips raised to try and get rid of it but her free hand pushed you down and, surprisingly, she did it with ease.

The head popped right in and you let out a pained moan. She moaned too, though you weren't sure if it was because of you or if it's because it actually felt good.

Slowly, she inched in, getting closer and closer to the hilt till, finally, the two of you were crotch to crotch, and her face was above yours again, her hair curtaining your head once more.

You felt so full, so absolutely filled to bursting, with nowhere to go. All you could do was lay there and take whatever Ayaka wanted to give you.

"All mine to do with as I please, right, baby?"

#yandere oc x reader #yandere x reader #female yandere #yandere #oc x reader #female oc #ayaka #bulleted #drabbles #pegging tw #lemony content

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astral-glass · 4 years ago

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Random TF2 Headcanon Post for y’all

(you’re totally allowed to disagree we’re just vibing over here)

- Scout has ADHD (undiagnosed). Not only does the hyperactivity affect him, but he also has short term memory loss (bc problems focusing), auditory processing issues, and he tends to get understimulated and hops from interest to interest rapidly.

- Scout also stims! It’s not super obvious, but he likes to run things through his fingers or in his hands when he’s overly excited (can be his dogtags, his baseball, etc). He just likes textures.

- Demoman is obsessed with cryptidology and folklore (beyond just nessie). He also dives into magic and sorcery due to his...experience.

- Sniper also likes the supernatural (more of an alien guy himself) and will have chats with Demo about it.

- Heavy reads a lot (mainly Russian and non-english books) and is much smarter than most of the team thinks. He’s just quiet. He also writes better in English than he speaks. His handwriting is super small and neat.

- Engineer is a great cook and often prepares meals for the team. It’s not that he wants to be the token chef, but everyone else who’s tried has either poisoned them, made something terrible, or flat out destroyed the kitchen. Plus, nothing beats southern comfort food like your momma made it.

- Engie has a great singing voice! It’s deep and clear (and kinda sultry), and he tends to sing quietly to himself while he works. He’ll also sing when he has his guitar in hand! He tends to sing old country like Johnny Cash.

- Sniper dreams of travel. He loves nature, and all he’d like to do is see the world without having to deal with people. He loves animals (hunting them too) and tends to have a bunch of niche knowledge about certain species. If he likes you (or he’s drunk), he’ll ramble on about these critters.

- Engie had a wife and daughter before joining Team Fortress. Unfortunately his wife divorced him as he took the job, taking his daughter with her (he cared more about invention than his family, according to her). His ex-wife is a bit of a sour note, but he’s saddest about his daughter. Doesn’t remember her face much anymore.

- Spy, as we know, is very observant. Every Smissmas, he gets Scout a gift that he knows Scout wants, and writes that it’s from Scout’s Ma. Scout, not knowing that his ma can’t afford to ship anything to New Mexico, is purely convinced the gifts are from her.

- Medic always regrets it in the morning, but he lets the doves sleep in his bedroom with him. They usually roost on the headboard or on him as he snoozes. This means waking up to dove poop all over. Yet every night, their cute little faces persuade him.

- Sniper’s mom sends him letters filled with photos from the house. Sometimes they’re old pictures of little Mundy, and sometimes they’re recent pictures of their antics at the farm house. Sniper keeps all of them.

- Pyro LOVES sprinkles and whipped cream and will add them to any meal. Any. Meal.

- Pyro also plays ‘dolls’ with a lot of their toys and stuffed animals! And, like actual children, most of their doll stories are extremely weird, violent, and have in-depth narratives.

- Sniper’s owl, Sir Hootsalot, is partially a pet but more of a friend. When they settle in a new location, Sniper lets him free so he can live around the base and visit when he wants. This is also because sir hoots is prone to attacking Mundy in the van if he’s feeling cranky.

- Medic, as the doctor, knows about all the little physical quirks of the team (weird birthmarks, odd scars, tickle spots, body abnormalities, anything embarrassing), and absoLUTELY uses this knowledge as black mail (he’s a lil shit) - Demoman talks to his parrot all the time, and his parrot has a knack for mimicing his speech. This means a lot of gibberish, squeaky little “kablooie!”s, and the classics of “good bird? love you! ya wee cunt!”

- When Pyro can’t sleep, they ask Engie to tell them a bedtime story. Their favorites are the ones where everyone catches on fire in the end! Engie is very good at story-telling

#tf2 #tf2 headcanons #headcanons #take it #long post #tf2 scout #tf2 engie #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman

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swanqueensalad · 4 years ago

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Ooh this so is your niche, and I'm here for it😄 So, got any headcanons about travelling/vacations? Town line is gone, Swan-Mills family can do what their hearts desire...😊

ooooohhh this is a good one!!! thank you my dude! as always, i got very carried away, but y'all know this about me by now ;)

i think at first, after everything settles down, they would be kind of tentative to leave storybrooke, because it finally feels safe there. but with some encouraging (*cough* whining) from their son, emma and regina would definitely be up for some trips!

i can see henry suggesting the idea of a family vacation, and though at first emma and regina are unsure and super over-protective, it becomes swan-mills family tradition to go away at least once a year, and they take turns to choose where they go (as long as the others do agree of course)

i think regina, once she gets over the initial anxiety of leaving storybrooke, would really want to travel and see the world! not only is she a huge nerd, she went straight from being very sheltered by an oppressive mother to locked up by her husband to being a queen with constant duties and a war to fight - she has never had the time or agency to just explore and adventure before, and it gives her a sense of freedom she's always wanted

so regina's choices of location are more cultural/historic, or else just natural wonders. she wants to go to historic cities in europe, barcelona and rome and so on.

she drags emma and henry to all the ruins and galleries and museums and they goof around while regina reads all the guides and info. sometimes emma is abandoned because henry has inherited regina's nerd traits and starts rattling off facts too

(emma is secretly very okay with this, because seeing regina so enthralled is adorable, and henry is also super cute when he's being a nerd. she loves watching them discuss stuff and get excited together, running around all the sites)

regina's ultimate destination though? PARIS. regina mills is the paris of people.

she gets emma to go with her for a weekend, just the two of them, and drags her around the louvre and they have lil romantic walks by the seine and emma gets super bored when regina drags her around all the designer boutiques and perfume stores, but it's worth it to be able to take her out to fancy dinners and see how happy she is

regina is also the admin queen. she books flights, reviews hotels and places to eat, and most importantly pACKS. she makes many lists and packs everything they could possibly need very neatly.

meanwhile, emma shoves some clothes and a phone charger into a suitcase the night before. this gives regina untold stress and anxiety, but somehow it always works out okay.

when it's emma's turn to pick locations, she's pretty easygoing but prefers fun, adventure and activity-packed things. (i can imagine any days outs foster homes took her on as a kid were pretty boring, low budget stuff) so she wants to go hiking and snorkelling and tasting weird food!

henry pretends not to be enthusiastic bc he is a moody teenager, but the minute he gets out there and emma takes him to the events, he's a little kid again

this is where it's regina's turn to get dragged along and put up with them. she is often reluctant to try stuff and will suggest she just stay on the beach or read by the pool while emma and henry go trekking or scuba diving or whatever, and sometimes she will, but occasionally emma and henry will both be giving her the puppy face and she's like fine whatever and actually ends up enjoying herself

between these proper holidays abroad, they often will do little road trips to new york or to the national parks for a few days! emma is roadtrip playlist maker extraordinaire, henry makes up increasingly ridiculous driving games that become classic traditions, and regina rations out the snacks because she knows if she didn't they'd be gone in the first hour

i also want the three of them to get invited on holiday with snow and david just bc i think it would be cute and funny. imagine! and imagine the weird lie about how they're related they'd have to tell the people at the hotel - one time, henry yells 'grandpa!' in the pool when david splashes him and emma is like 'oh yes. a fun cool inside joke between my son and his... uncle? yeah, that's my brother!'

bonus: not sure how in character this one actually is, but imagine how funny a storybrooke-gang girls trip to vegas would be (i mean emma, regina, snow, ruby, belle, zelena etc all just checking into a showy hotel and having a weekend away to blow off some steam! emma would get super competitive, the living legend that is drunk snow would return, zelena would probably book them in to see magic mike without telling anyone lmao)

#thanks for this one my good dude!!!#so much fun!!#and feels good to be back on my niche again #swan queen headcanon queen is back in business bitches ;)))#swan mills family #swan queen headcanons #swan mills charming family #emma swan #regina mills #henry swan mills #snowing

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binniesthighs · 4 years ago

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eehee here it is the long awaited results of my chaotic ass survey about our hornies it’s so long holy heck, but I have seperated it into a couple sections to make sense of it all (omg if you read all of it lemme give you a kith teehee) ahhhh lol its SO nerdy haha but i hope that ya enjoy nonetheless! ✨

In this essay, I will....(hahah jk jk this is just all for fun)

1. Demographics Analysis

2. Polls on Fic Content

3. Member Specific Analysis

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (Confessions)

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion

6. Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle

*Unpopular opinions will be made into their own post to give them ample space and analysis!

Other Notes:

Out of 100 individuals surveyed, 44 were readers, 2 were only writers, and 54 were both readers and writers.

Statistical significance can be effected by sampling, selection, and response bias (yeah i took a stats class teehee) and personal biases

All the the opinions and other analysis presented by me (Ro/binniesthighs) are purely my own oponion and are not factual. you are entitled to interpret all of this information however you like! Anything that i analyze is not definitive!

while this survey is mostly about stay smutblr, i hope that it can also maybe serve as a template for other fandoms as well with the more general questions! this is a survey for everyone!

i’d love to hear about what you think about anything presented in this analysis! feel free to send me an ask or comment! reposting is permitted within tumblr or on other platforms if proper credit is given! ❤️ (uwu hehe if you could please help me spread this i would appreciate it so much! i worked really hard on her 🥺)

1. Demographics Analysis:

Gender Identities of those Surveyed

~My thoughts: this really came as no surprise to me considering how the majority of kpop fans (especially boy group fans) identify as female! Seeing as I am a Stray Kids/Seventeen blog (both of them boy groups) it makes sense to me that my readers would mostly identify as female!

Another important thing to note (from a writer standpoint at least) is the wide array of identities that we still have present within the general audience of stay smut blur (SSB)! I’ll get into this later when i discuss favorite pairings to read, however i think that this gives us one more reason to write for a diverse audience of readers who can identify with different types of self-insert fics!

Top Five:

Female (81%)

Non-binary/gender non-conforming (13%)

Changes by the day (6%)

Male (4%)

Demiboy/Demigirl (3%)

Sexual Orientation of those Surveyed

Other identities mentioned:

????, unlabeled, aromatic bisexual, bicurious, demisexual, “just liking who i like”, experimenting, heteroflexible, sapiosexual, depends day by day, “i just like anyone”

~My thoughts: okkkkk i see us gays of SSB 😏 these demographics were really exciting for me to see! i think that it’s super cool that we have such representation across the board when it comes to sexual orientations present in our community! As someone who personally identifies as pan, this was super comforting to see that there are so many others like me in this little space of the internet! I think it’s safe to say at least from my lil survey that all the bi cuties out here own SSB 💗💜💙

From a literal standpoint, it also makes sense to me that heterosexuality is strongly present as well considering that often the pairs that we read are male idol x female reader so this is the perfect niche!

Top Five:

Bisexual (40.8%)

Heterosexual (26.5)

Pansexual (17.3%)

Queer (7.1%)

Asexual (4.1%)

Stay Creators!!

~My thoughts: this one i was THRILLED at seeing oml hahaha and i was so interested to see that this was nearly an even split!

I think that there’s something to be said about how sometimes we can take our hobbies: (movies, videogames, books, kpop, anime etc)--all things which we really like in totally normal and healthy ways but also kinda like....get hornies about them too? if that makes sense? for example, i have a friend who really likes certain video games/characters from these games as a fan and he’s shared with me that he also doesn’t mind watching porn containing those same characters! (ahahah ya all know what i mean don’t even lie haha)

what this question proved to me as that there are stays out there who practice “being a stay/being a stay creator” who also are interested in the more...horny side of this hobby/interest 😂

what is even more interesting to me is who i wonder if i’ve have consumed any of ya’ll’s content while you have consumed mine??? this i am DYING to know aha but it think its best for all of us to stay anonymous teehee ;)

either way, good on ya for doing what ya do!! you are so so treasured in this community too!! <3

2. Polls on Fic Content (a long section lol)

Favorite Pairing to Read

*other options selected were rankings of favorite pairings so i just added each of them as an entry to the respective category mentioned.

Top Five:

Idol x female reader (69%)

Idol x gender neutral reader (19%)

Idol x reader x Idol (poly r/ship) (14%)

Idol x reader, Idol x reader (threesome, not much interaction between the two idols) (8%)

~My thoughts: once again, this category was pretty self explanatory to me considering that the majority of readers are female identifying, so it would make sense that they would prefer to read smut that aligns with their identity! This is also super present anyway of SSB as i do feel like the majority of writing pieces that I do come along are idol x female reader, and most authors too often disclaim that they are the most comfortable writing this type of pairing as well.

What’s signficant as well is the interest in reading fics with gender neutral reader self inserts as well! this is my personal philosophy when it comes to writing (specifically with requests) but i think that writing gn!reader is always the safest bet to go as to not make assumptions about readers! for writers i think that seeing this 19% is something important to take into consideration!

An outlier to me with this demographic was the “poly r-ship” poll garnering a notable 14% in comparison to the idol x idol option which got 10 less votes (4%). what is a little confusing to me about this is how poly r/ships often (but not always) contain idol x idol content, however there is discrepancy with the amount of readers outright saying that they enjoy reading it alone. I’ll get into poly fics later with the unpopular opinions section--however i wanted to plant the seed here hehe. One other caveat to this is the fact that on SSB i feel like idol x idol content is really in the minority and is much more present on a platform like AO3 so this could be another explaination!

What is kinda cute to me is the fact that readers do really like poly r-ship dynamics more than a threesome (as i defined it, “with less interaction”) so this makes me feel like we are all saps for the fluff that comes with poly r-ship fics ;)

Favorite Kind of Smut to Read

male idol smut (67%)

i read both! (female and male idol smut) (25%)

depends on my mood (7%)

female idol smut (1%)

~My thoughts: Again, this is super expected to me as well considering the above statistics. Since i am a skz blog (a boy group) --as are my moots-- it really makes sense that those who filled out this survey would be into male idol smut!

what was cool for me to see as well was the number of readers who also read female idol smut as well as male idol smut! personally, i more predominately a fan of boy groups compared to the amount of girl group content that I consume (note: i do also consume gg content). because of this, i think that its really up to personal preferences and the content that you consume that can be reflective of the smut content that you consume as well and ya know, whoever gets your hornies going ;)

Favorite Genres...Ranked!

*so this was my fault lol i totally formatted this question poorly in google forms so i’ll try to summarize the most popular rankings with my words haha

*bc of the way that i miffed it (lol) i wasn’t able to get exact measurements, but rough ones!

Top Five:

Smut, fluff, angst

smut n’ fluff (with specific emphasis angst is not desired)

smut, angst, fluff,

fluff, smut, angst,

angst, fluff, smut

~My thoughts: by far, the most popular ranking that i saw was as follows: smut, fluff, angst. i saw this sososos many times haha also...ya’ll got really creative with your rankings and it made me giggle hehe. So! seeing as this is stay smutblr haha makes total sense that the three most popular rankings that we have were lead by smut! since we’re here for the hornies, i totally get this.

as for the “smut n’ fluff” or “fluffy smut” category, there was a decent amount of readers that expressed that this mixture is their fave! i’m kinda looping this with the “mixture” option that i also provided for this question since this was the most popular mixture that i was able to observe along with angst + smut. interestingly, i saw a couple mentions of “hurt/comfort” fics with this question too so this went well with this preference. as for number three on this list, we dip into that smut + angst category that I just mentioned as well. there were several individuals who said that they really really enjoy reading smut with angst!

lastly we get to the four and five on the list: four being fluff, smut and angst. i think this category can also properly represent the folx who tend to like more fluffy fics over the smutty ones, but that can also have suggestive themes too! in five, we have angst, fluff and smut which also is representative of another theme that i saw: as far as plot goes, several people mentioned that they liked fics that start with angst, get fluffier, and then end up in smut, so i think that this could be easily compared!

*there were also several readers who simply said “all of them” or opted not to rank, (lol me) so this really shows the variability in results!

Cute stuff ya’ll said (kind of out of context too LOL)

“... hehE I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE.”

“...I KNOW IT [my ranking] LOOKS TERRIBLY SPECIFIC AND IM SO SORRY and I guess the better way to describe that was one that has all 3 with a happy ending lol my b my b.”

“ ...it just depends on the mood my dude.”

“... (the smut doesn’t have to be soft i just want the relationship to be soft and i want aftercare and general affection).”

“(but almost no angst oops)”

“angst honestly makes me so sad.”

“... but long fics with angst and slow burn smut/fluff is just WOW.”

“ my favourite thing is when it's fluffy smut tbh with a little bit of angsty backstory. that is *chefs kiss*”

“(I'm a sucker for good angsty fics but I cant seem to find them???)”

“Smut, Fluff, Angst (I tend to be a bit of a purist so no mixture here).”

“(i can't read pure angst lol) “

“(I love how much plot there is in angsty fics but I personally can't read anything without a happy ending, i just can't take it)”

“ i literally couldn't rank them bc my mood is always changing lmaooo.”

“ smut, fluff, angst. i know what i’m about.”

Favorite Length of Fics

Top Five:

5k-8k words (27%)

2k-4k words (25%)

1k-2k words (20%)

10k-20k words (15%)

20k words (12%)

~My thoughts: this one was super helpful for me to see!! and writers i hope that this is helpful for you too! as someone who tends to rambles (lol) it was very comforting for me to see that long-ish fics are actually preferred! what is really cool about this data too is that it is all super well balanced for the most part and nearly edqual in some parts! how i see this, i think that when it comes to preferences of length, its really reader specific so anyone could like anything! this goes into a little bit the slow burn question that i asked as well too, but it’s really cool to see that when readers do read, they kinda like something to sink their teeth into!

i wanted to look into how long it takes you to read these words, and it appears that on average, a 5-8k fic can take someone 30 mins to read whereas a 2-4k fic takes about 15mins! idk if this says something about attention spans, but as a writer it warms my heart to know that you’re willing to spend 30 minutes of your time reading something that i wrote! 🥺

another thing i wanted to bring up is the “hard and fast” smut readers--those who like to get straight to the point, get right to business and to the juice! they are also a decently large group too! as for readers who like a nice long fic or a chaptered fic, they are super close in numbers! from this, it’s safe for me to assume that maybe those who like reading longer fics are more inclined to strap in for the long haul with chaptered fics too!

Favorite AUs to Read

*the top category that got cut off (thank you google forms lol) is friends to lovers! the one that says “...love” at 48% is enemies to lovers, and the one that has a blanked out title at 35% is strangers to lovers!

Top Five:

friends to lovers (65%)

enemies to lovers (48%)

high school/college au (40%)

roommates/neighbors to lovers (38%)

strangers to lovers (35%)

Other AUs mentioned by you!

office au, royal au, vampire au, fake date, idol au, slice of life, boarding school au, childhood friends, soulmate au

~My thoughts: ok ok so this was RAD to see! i often wonder myself the kinds of aus that my readers would like to see so this was really helpful! circling back on how readers tend to favor fluff n’ smut (friends to lovers) and angst n’ smut (enemies to lovers) i think that we’re seeing some more themes here teehee.

i like to think that since most of us are of the college age, the college au is super relatable therefore we really like to read it! not to mention that college and high school au’s are super duper cute as well! this is also relatable to the roommates/neighbors to lovers category which is also relatable to us who may or may not have experienced having a roommate or crush on the cutie next door ;) as a couple readers mentioned, they liked more “slice of life” au’s--which both of these categories fall into! i think we as readers like scenarios that feel the most real to us, bc they are the easiest to insert ourselves into :)

fantasy and thriller, action, more “fiction” tropes are in the minority, however i think that this can be for the exact same reason as i mentioned above where readers like more relatable scenarios.

Opinions on Slow Burn Fics

~My thoughts: during polling of this category, this pie cart stayed basically the same the whole time!! that was pretty cute to see! the important take aways from this survey for me is the fact that slow burn fics are generally really loved! again, lol as someone who writes big ol’ long slow burn fics this made me feel a lot better hahaha basically, the general consensus is that slow burn fics are welcome most of the time, however some readers might need to invest a little more time into them! this is also very easily comparable to the above statistics on the length of fics preferred (longer ones being the ones more popular) so here’s a lil more supporting evidence!

3. Member Specific Analysis

Bias Survey

Top Five:

Chan (19%)

Changbin (18%)

Hyunjin (16%)

Jisung (15%)

Minho (14%)

~My thoughts: ok ok ok so this is where it starts getting JUICY hehe (also i apologize once more for making you pick LOL)

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if there was a correlation with biases and if there was a probability that members who had more people biasing them (or popularity I guess) were more likely to be read more in smut fics! AND I WAS RIGHT haha isn’t this so fkn cool??? (see more in the next section!)

for comparison, i went to kprofiles to see their little survey on bias popularity and their top five.

Kprofiles Top Five:

Hyunjin (15%)

Felix (14%)

Chan (12%)

Minho (11%)

Jisung (11%)

SO oh my god my nerd brain is loosing it over this REE so, what i should note that is those who took this survey on my blog are likely generally different based off of the fact that they are here to read smut specifically, rather than the general holistic popularity survey. It is for this reason that we see Felix much higher on this list and Changbin much lower too (as we know Felix is really well known generally and globally and there are *generally* fewer Bin biased fans). What was really interesting to see what that with Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho, they still all stayed within the top five! Soooo what i’m saying is.... all of you Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho fans really must like your smut 😏 and I think that it’s safe to assume that the majority of hard stans come from these four members too ooP (and of course our Binnie too! ;) i see all of ya’ll 👀)

Members That Get Our Hornies Going

~My thoughts: AHH DOESN’T THIS LOOK SO SATISFYING? I’M SO PROUD OF HER!!!

First off, i would like to acknowledge the all mighty power of Bang Christopher Chan for pooling this most hornies god DAMN while i kind of expected this, it is also evidenced in the fics that i write! recently i’ve been tracking the number of notes that my Chan hard thoughts get in comparison to other members and the differences are usually ASTRONOMICAL. He is most def the most popular member for smut for several different reasons, lowkey bc i think that it’s kind of part of his brand?? hahaha if ya know what i mean?

As for preference from Minho on, we can see a super obvious trend that as age order decreases, we get less and less interest for reading for the member. I’m fairly inclined to believe that this has to do with the fact that most often fans (especially fans older than skz) have a harder time seeing the younger members in a sexual way, so the lack of interest totally makes sense here! As referenced above too, we found that the oldest five members (Chan --> Jisung) are the favorites for smut reading which we can see here as well when the numbers really drop after Felix (Felix coming in at 6th place on my “popularity” survey).

Bc of these statistics, i do really feel like as a reader, i tend to see much, much more fics involving our top five! As for Seungmin and Jeongin, I’ve also seen people state that they do not read or write content for these two members bc they do not feel as comfortable, so this can also explain the lack of content. Also as we have heard many times, Jeongin is a bit of a hot topic lol within the SSB community, so this makes sense that his readership would be low as well.

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (aka confessions)

Is the fact that you read smut a seggsy secret?

~My thoughts: JUICE TIME JUICE TIME

Before I say anything, i wanted to tell you all how all of the juicy questions were totally optional, but i got 100% participation for every single one of them which if find HILARIOUS i guess you all are just as curious as i am?? ;)

So! for this question, we have an overwhelming amount of readers who said that only their closest friends know which is so cute to me! i love how we can trust our friends with this hehe. i also fall into this category bc like, it’s lowkey kinda fun to talk about? maybe also the fact that i run a smut acct makes me care a little less about it all hahah

secondly, we have the rather large group of people who said that they wouldn’t dare to tell anyone which is also sooo cute haha idk how to explain it but this was the category that i started out in too until i found the right people! But i totally get ya, reading smut--especially-- kpop smut-- can be embarrassing or cringey to share (not to mention that it is somewhat morally grey LOL) so this is really understandable!

also my fkn hats off to all of you who said that you didn’t care about who knows that you read smut. here, you dropped this: 👑 you’re much braver than i could ever be.

When you read smut, do you really feel the hornies?

~My thoughts: ok, so this one to me was also very interesting for me to see as well! (also if you get uncomfy reading about personal masturbation habits you can skip this one lol)

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if people “get off” by reading smut (whether reading it turns you on, or if you choose to use it for “material” to get off on however this might look, might be more of a mental simulation without any real like, physical getting off) candidly, I use smut to get myself off every once and a while, so i wanted to see who else might be in the same group! since becoming a writer however, i read much less and reading it doesn’t hit the same when i was just a reader bc i have a different perspective of being the one writing the smut so i look at it more analytically--i digress.

it was exciting (teehee get the pun?) for me to see that others also “get off” on smut too--and that they are the majority! teehee it is an honor for me to provide you with the hornies LOL. at the same time, we still have a large group in the “don’t take to seriously” category which was interesting to me too! i can’t speak for these readers, but i interpreted these kind of readers to be the kind who read smut to imagine the scenes and are like “hm, that’s hot, i like thinking about this.” but it doesn’t extend much outside of these thoughts.

What is the most popular position pairing we like to read?

*smaller slices of the pie represent multiple favorites which i also seperated back into the categories corresponding to get the best count into what was the most preferred.

Actual Breakdown:

dom!idol // sub!reader (51 votes)

switch!idol // switch!reader (32 votes)

subidol! // dom!reader (11 votes)

all of the above (5 votes)

depends on my mood (2 votes)

~My thoughts: i feel as if there is a bit of a conflict between which position really is “the best” and while we really can’t know the answer to this question since everyone has different preferences, we can at least find out which one is the most popular to be consumed!

again, going off of the content that I also see as a reader, i see TONS of dom!idol fics, like, left and right. also, if i may come for all of our necks, 👀 but...there’s really something to be said about the fact that the majority of readers are female and historically and socially, women are typically socialized to be submissive, so i can see why this would be why we would favor this among fics--this is even further evidenced by the fact that male idol smut is also preferred, thus further perpetuating the fact that women have been socialized to be submissive to men specifically. i’m not saying that this is the end all be all reason that this trend is present, but i merely offer it as a possible explaination. this is a much larger sociological conversation, but i think that this trend also showed itself in the types of smut that readers seek out as well--according to demographics.

sub!idol fics are few and far in-between, and i think that this can also be for the exact same reason as i talked about above!

When you read smut, do you pick faves to read for?

~My thoughts: what’s cool about this question is the fact that the “half and half” nature of it also resembles what we saw in the section for favorite members to read! As we see in that chart, 41 out of 100 people said that they read everyone, similar to this question where 48 out of 100 people said that they read for everyone. What this proves to me once more is that when it comes for reading fics, there's a 50/50 chance that the reader will look at, and read it based off of who it is about alone. This is a really powerful statistic, meaning that the members who that a writer might write for really dictates their readership! At the same time, it’s super comforting to know that regardless of what you as a writer might write, there’s always someone out there who is willing to read it! (as evidenced by the 52% of people who read for anyone! this is still a large number)

Readers: Do you only use Tumblr for smut?

~My thoughts: when i first started out reading smut, i was in the “i just look up skz smut” group LOL so i wanted to see again if there was anyone like me--which there is! This was more of my interest in seeing if some people view tumblr as “their smut dealer” AHA so that my initial motivation. I was surprised to see that this is not the case! out of 100 readers, 39 of them have their own non-smut blogs and the second largest group of 26 people use tumblr for smut exclusively.

idk why, but when thinking of this question, it really got me thinking back to the question where i asked if reading smut is a seggsy secret, and there was the group of people who said that it is for them--i’m assuming that these people might be part of the group have non-smut blogs and read on the side teehee.

at the same time, there is a combined 40 people who said that they use tumblr for smut purposes only which makes sense to me, as those who filled out my survey are readers of my smut blog if you catch my drift haha

Writers: Do you read smut, or just write it?

*56 responses correlate with those polled who identified as writers/both as mentioned above

~My thoughts: this survey is really really cute for me to see bc it means that there is a whole support network or writers out there reading, supporting and here to hype other writers work!! if anything, as a writer because it takes so much time to write, it can become hard to find time to read, hence the “when i have time option lollll (*cough cough* me LOL) thank you all for your honesty with this question!

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion

Survey on Exposure

~My thoughts: i kinda wanna close off this survey by getting on my soapbox for a sec lol. At least for me, the most common ways that readers found my blog were: looking up a tag, and from a repost. i think that this really goes to show the power of exposure and certain tactics that you can use to increate readership of your account! new readers, if you’re reading this and you’re just starting out, tagging your stuff is so so important!

also, as i have said and so so, many other content creators have said countless times before, reposting is so crucial and it takes little to no effort to repost a creators work so that it might reach others! as a writers, we spend hours, and i mean hours creating content, editing, drafting, creating headers all out own time to publish something that we are proud of and for you to enjoy! it means the world to authors when you reblog their work and even more when you give feedback too because this is our passion! we write for free in the middle of our busy lives so the validation makes it all worth it!!

Conclusion

~phew! so that’s it! once again, i wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart from participating in this lil study! i really hope that it is helpful to writers and readers alike! i wanna give ya all the biiiiiigest Ro huggies!! 💕💕

as i mentioned above, the answers for the unpopular opinions will be made into their own post bc there is a ton of them and i didn’t want to clutter up this doc lol

don’t ya ever forget that you are important, loved, and special! happy hornies my cuties ;)

~R 🌹

6. Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle (and hopefully makes you giggle too)

~you all are the light of my life!! each of these comments brought me so much happiness and i love you all so fkn much for that!! also, to those of you who said, “Ro date me” PLZ haha i will date you too!!! too all of the super sweet comments about my writing, thank you so so very much and thank you for reading! it means so much to me!! to all of the i love yous, ahhhh i love you toooooo 💕

“I DUNNO IM BAD AT FUNNY STUFF BUT KNOCK KNOCK I GUESS? -whos there

-ro who

Me, in chan voice: RObber ducky you're the one

yeah...

yeah

bYE”

“ I didn’t know changbin’s thighs were of such importance until I saw your username but now?? 👀 I am looking respectfully.”

“ every time chan doesn’t reply to my bubble message i hold my breath and try to die💆‍♀️”

“ here are my favorite emoji combos: 😐☝️ 😫🖐️ 😂🤏 (i use that one when i get a dick pick and it's rlly small but the person thinks its big-) “

“ you are EVIL for making me choose just ONE bias OT8 EXISTS OK!?”

“ I hope this survey provides you with a lot of useful feedback! -sincerely a big tiddie committee member (you know the one)” [hehe yes i do hai M ;)]

“ chan’s tiddies... that’s it.”

“jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo?“

“ Jeongin is appropriately baby bread because his face is puffy in the morning so it's kinda like yeast rising 👉👉 “

“ someone needs to tell hyunjin to put some vaseline or something on his cuticles like I love him a lot but his recent live made me scream sir your cuticles are hanging on for dear life please I'm literally begging you “

“ I squeal whenever I get a notification from you and my family think I’m secretly dating someone. It’s nice knowing that they think I can get someone during a pandemic 😁 “ [this one had me SENT]

“i hope ur dreams are blessed with skz thighs.”

“ HS Bin supremacy!!”

“Sta”

“Ro(ses) are red, violets are blue - DaVinci painted Mona, cause he couldn't find you :') “

“✨ dInG dOnG ✨ “

“You're doing God's work as a changbin stan xD “ [thank you so much aHA]

“damn gorl, are you a wifi signal? cause i’m tryna connect 🤔🥴✌🏾 “

“Good luck with your survey! I hope you get a big response! You know what else is big..?

Chan's feet. (I'm sorry, that was my attempt to make you giggle but I'm clearly not a comedian)”

“What's the internal temperature of a taun taun? Luke warm! (Haha sorry star wars joke) “

“egg“

“just because you’re garbage, doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot <3 “

“Soft-Dom Minho Agenda is the best agenda. I have spoken. Sincerely yours, Javi (@itsapapisongo) “ [this is the way javi]

“Bang chan daddy supremacy”

“ro, ro, ro your boat gently down skz’ dick hell yea.” [this also had me SENT]

“stay smut writers should take “maknae on top” literally“

“idk man i’m just vibing. hope ur day is going well. (changbin voice) da DA da”

Fin.

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @chaangbin @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

#PHEW #haha this was so fun!!#binniesthighs helpdesk #skz smut #stray kids smut #kpop smut #bang chan smut #lee minho smut #changbin smut #hyunjin smut #han jisung smut #felix smut #seungmin smut #jeongin smut

54 notes · View notes

kr-writing · 5 years ago

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how to get seventeen's attention

hello!! it is I, jyn, taking a break from studying :" here is my take on what actions/ traits are likely to catch seventeen's eye, enjoy!!

s.coups notices when people make deliberate and intentional eye contact with him and hold his gaze while speaking - he isn't very good at doing this so someone who goes out of their way to show that they're paying attention to whatever he's saying will likely make him feel alil woozy and stricken on the inside

jeonghan's attention is likely to be pinned onto someone who is unafraid and doesn't give a damn about anything - those who exude a 'i could care less' attitude and just say whatever's on their mind (not rude, just blunt) - a lil bit the complete antithesis of jeonghan, but a trait that would seem interesting to him and make him notice you just a lil more

joshua is someone who would notice someone with a really sweet smile and laugh - someone who kinda glows and lights up the room when they laugh, and with rosy cheeks and a genuinely warm and bright personality, the kind of person who commands the room's attention when they laugh because it sounds just like chimes and bells and fairy dust

jun, without a doubt, notices the people who are Like Him - he's wacky and kinda awkward and fixates on his phone - he likely will notice the person who's always in the corner with their tongue sticking out while playing a game, and will probably strike up a conversation with them to find out what game it is they're playing that has them making that utterly adorable face

hoshi notices those who are caring and nurturing - those who go out of their way to take care of others. think a staff member who always brings home-baked goods for the members with an unabashed smile, always has furrowed brows whenever they check on the members after their long, hard practices and asks them gently if they need water or help, or the barista at the nearby cafe who writes a note on his to-go cup because they noticed he looked really tired and out of it

wonwoo's attention is always on those who have something intelligent to say - he's naturally drawn to people he thinks have interesting opinions and ideas, and those who can understand where he's coming from and have deep conversations with him about philosophy etc. will find someone who has niche interests in something really cute

woozi, hm. he's likely the kind to notice the person who lights up the room, the magnetic, charismatic life of the party who just seems so exuberant and warm and welcoming. he's the type to be attracted to the happy, excited types, who laugh loudly and have a certain charm to the way they smile. the tantalising sort of people who command the room and have a certain leadership aura to them - those are the kind of people woozi notices

seokmin is definitely the kind who notices someone who's brash and impulsive - the kind who does whatever without thinking of the consequences - he doesn't Get that impulsive nature, but is someone who would be so intrigued by it and so enamoured by your reckless, do-now-regret-later attitude

mingyu's attention will be on you if you're artsy, and have had a whole trove of experiences that sound like fictional stories to him - he'll notice those who always have interesting perspectives, those who introduce new ideas and fresh ideas: those who can make him go 'oh wow i never thought about that' are those who dominate his thoughts

minghao is similar to mingyu - in fact, i think they notice the same sort of people, though i think minghao is also likely to notice someone who's really nice and passionate about serving others - those who feed stray cats and volunteer on weekends and are passionate about helping the needy - these acts of goodness will always bring a smile to his face

seungkwan is the kind who notices anyone who's Passionate - like. Really really passionate about something obscure - he'll be so enamoured and would want nothing more than to be closer to you just to hear you ramble on about dolphin conservation and all these cool things that you seem to know so much about - he really admires the kind of people who light up when they talk about anything they love

vernon will notice someone who gives off a different vibe - more intuitive than anything else, he notices those who have a certain edge to them, and have unique tastes in anything - fashion, music etc. those who are subtly different and give off a strong, reliable and carefree vibe are probably the ones who catch his attention the most

dino notices those who are cute and unbearably innocent - his big bro instinct is Heightened!!! and he is immediately concerned with whatever you have to say and do - he's the type of person who delights in taking care of others, and likes to have someone who admires him, so he'll likely notice anyone who's innocent and a really big gusher

put in the tags who you think you're most likely to catch the attention of in seventeen!!!

367 notes · View notes

house-of-tykayl · 5 years ago

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cystar tho (headcanons)

imagine

cyborg and starfire are the cuddliest couple ever. the PDA is incredible. star will perch on his shoulders like he’s a climbing post/bird perch and generally just drape herself all over him bc he’s got a lot of surface area and she wants comfy. and cy will just grab her out of midair for huggles before letting her float away again like a balloon headed straight for the atmosphere. star will float higher when she wants to look over his shoulder at something (bc hes the only titan taller than her) and sometimes cy will just reach up and touch her waist and lead her around in the air like that while they chat

the other titans support them, but are simultaneously disgusted by the excessive amount of PDA. cy sometimes milks star’s affection to troll everyone, especially at the breakfast table. “hey star i havent had my morning kiss today” “oh apologies” “do that long tongue thingy again babe” “if you two dont let me eat my waffles in peace for just ONE morning i will open a portal to the seventh circle of hell and chuck the both of you inside”

star is living for the unabashed affection bc cyborg has no qualms about being proud boyfriend in public. like he’ll wrap an arm around her and go “hey star’s my girlfriend :)” and the grocery store clerk’s like “we know, that’ll be $15.99″ and star’s just beaming, holding the plastic bags full of snacks and unorthodox food combinations

if cy’s generous with the lovin wait till you see star lmao. “you are looking most beautiful today!” she keeps saying shit literally no one else will say, either (possibly) coz of the robot thing or just coz starfire’s being starfire, and cyborg’s just like *clutches_chest.jpeg* because she a lil weirdo but she makes him feel normal and appreciated and that he’s great the way he is, that he’s desired even if a lot of him isn’t organic anymore. like yes!! my boyfriend is comprised of 80% robotic parts!! he is extremely strong and the “cool”!!! is he not absolutely wonderful???

ok but starfire can almost never get enough touching, and cyborg’s just like aight *picks her up and carries her around on his arm for an hour* and she’ll just be giddy the entire time

more under the cut

star doesnt have a lot of preconceived notions of what a normal human relationship is, outside of things she sees on TV and robin’s incomprehensible push-pulling over the years. so she doesn’t care one bit about the fact that she’s cuddling a robot. she’d figured starting a relationship with anyone on earth would be something different for her regardless– so a lot of the things cyborg used to think a partner would find problems with, end up not happening because man, this alien chick. “may i lay together with you in your bed?” “girl are you saying you wanna sleep while standing up?? on my charging port???? surrounded by 3478012 cables and wires?????” “is there no room? then may i sleep on the floor?” she just wants to be with him

heck more bed shenanigans would involve like, cyborg awkwardly trying to lie down on star’s bed, and it feels weird coz he hasn’t slept in a real bed for years and while it feels nice he’s kinda sinking into the mattress and he’s self-conscious about leaving a dent in the frame?? or like rolling over at night and squashing star which would be awkward coz he’s more than a little heavy?? then star hops in and cuddles close and is all like shhhhhhhhh slep time

silkie is usually very happy about cyborg’s presence in star’s room, if only because he can gnaw on cy’s legs while they sleep. cy begins to think it’s also revenge since there’s a lot less space on the bed with himself in it, and silkie struggles to find room near starfire to sleep at night. they eventually just get a bigger bed. silkie is a lot less stressed– but cyborg still wakes up with chew marks in his legs

if either of them are too tired from a battle that day, the other will carry them to bed. BB laughed his ass off the first time he saw starfire princess carrying cy to his room (star’s perfectly capable of carrying his weight but her arms aren’t necessarily long enough to hold onto him properly, making it a little cumbersome and awkward), but cy just tiredly gives B the finger

cy will talk to star in awkward broken tamaranian and she’ll get all giggly. everyone else assumes it’s cute flirting, but he’s actually whispering dirty, raunchy shit. that she taught him. and she continues to teach him tamaranian, occasionally dropping new words while otherwise speaking english, and waiting for him to ask about what they mean.

cy will sometimes smack star’s ass and then run for his life before she can return the favor, because he always ends up with an overly-enthusiastic handprint-shaped dent in his ass. it’s a terrifying game of tag. BB will chase them chasing each other with a camera to add to his album of “cyborg’s dented ass” photos that he shares with the whole titans network

cy teaches star about the niches in earth/american culture, the kinds of things that are a little harder to learn about on your own, or things she otherwise wouldn’t have had a reason to learn. he tells her about old american tv shows and explains obscure slang words and how to make telemarketers hang up first and what the contra code is and why he mashes it in every time he boots up a new video game. it’s a crash course mix of useless trivia and miscellaneous culture that makes star’s head spin– but she’s excited about learning all the same, the power of just knowing more makes her feel more comfortable on a planet where she is always a foreigner

it’s kinda why star adores all the different nicknames cy has for her like “fly girl” “baby doll” etc because it makes her feel “in” coz she gets all these cool nicks of names like other earth people!! she fits in!!!! and he’ll say it so fondly it makes her blush half the time. cy definitely notices and thinks its super cute at how excited she gets over pet names. she tries to nickname him back at one point but it felt awkward and she struggled to come up with them, and cy reassured her that he liked her saying out his name anyway, its cool. just be yourself babey

cy loves teaching star things in general, he’s patient and she’s always an eager student. he once took a few hours showing her how to play video games and while she didn’t really take to it, she did learn how to not break the controller whenever her virtual car’s about to crash into the divider (she still shrieks when it happens though)

initially, star is a bit nervous about touching some of cyborg’s robot parts like the implants and consoles coz she’s not sure how to deal with them? alien tech is one thing and earth tech is another, and then there’s the advanced shit that made up cyborg’s body and literally keeps him alive. she’s petrified at the thought of accidentally breaking something like what if she presses the button that turns off his lungs???????? and cy is like why the fuck would i have a button to turn off my lungs?? so one day cy just sits her down so she’s leaning back against his chest, and he looks over her shoulder as he shows her how to navigate his arm console. press this button and choose this option, no the screen wont break even if you press hard, dont use the browser to download malware on my arm like BB did, etc. the ui’s pretty intuitive and star gets it pretty quickly, then she gets all excited. cy teaches her about all the maintenance he does on his body and how his charger works and all that shit and she like oooooo

“if the t-car is your baby, does this mean i am its mother? cyborg does she like me enough? should i assist in changing her oil? *panicking* WILL SHE ACCEPT ME AS HER ADOPTED K’NORFKA?!”

(the t-car is a sassy one, easily jealous and protective– but ultimately, she does approve of starfire, if only just barely)

they spend a lot of time in the garage together. whether cy’s fussing with the t-car or putting together a new gadget, star’s a helpful assistant when it comes to welding or heavy lifting. and while she doesn’t necessarily get programming, she still helps cy with all the calculations and math involved in it; the concept of physics as she has encountered on earth is primitive compared to tamaran, and cy will often challenge her to crack a tough equation before his computer can. while the computer usually gets a result first, star will just explain that its answer was wrong in the large scheme of things, before she starts going in depth into that nerdy science shit to find a more effective way to wire whatever project they’re working on and cy’s just like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ heart eyes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at how smart she is

they fucking love food. while all the titans are hanging out in the common room, star and cy spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen. star will literally eat anything, at any time, and cy would go like “yo star want a sub??” and shes like “YES I WOULD LOVE THE EDIBLE SUBMARINES” and they go make the tallest sub ever and then Eat it

they just cook together a lot, one of them being head chef for the hour and the other being the kitchen assistant. cy’s usually in the lead when they’re making food for the other titans (to prevent food poisoning), and star is happy to learn new recipes that aren’t lethal to her friends– that, and licking all the mixing bowls clean. cy purposely gets sauce etc on his face so that star will see and lick it off too. then star will very unsubtly smear food on her face so that cy will wipe it off with his finger and then things get handsy. (they’re both aware it’s a game, but they pretend like they don’t.)

cy gets them matching aprons and a tiny chef hat for star. she asks him why it’s so tiny or even necessary but he just thinks its cute af on her lol

it helps cy’s ego when star will also eat literally anything he puts in front of her while enjoying it unironically. of course, cy quickly learns that starfire’s favorite “earth” foods are things that most people wouldn’t consider food at all, so while he’ll prepare Real Food for himself, he had to start a new custom cookbook for the random combinations of ingredients that starfire likes to ingest. he’s torn between feeling like his chef skills go to waste on her, or being proud at how good he’s become at figuring out the kinds of food combos she likes based on the flavors and consistencies she’s inclined to. but ultimately she’s just so cute and happy when she smiles at the taste of m&ms on raw steak that cyborg’s just like ahh. fine.

cyborg: *sighs while writing* “edamame in a cherry-chocolate reduction: get a handful of fresh edamame, washing is optional, pour hershey’s chocolate sauce all over it, add cherries but don’t remove the pits or the stems, sprinkle in some drops of 7up, then cover that shit in mustard. stick it all in the microwave for 1 minute, doesn’t really matter what temperature? prep time: 3 and a half minutes. the fuck did i just write”

star: *wolfs down that edamame shit like its the best goddamn thing ever*

raven:

meanwhile, while cy can’t stomach star’s tamaranean food, he does go out of his way to learn how to prepare the stuff himself, for whenever star’s sick or feeling down. the nostalgic taste of home tends to help her feel better. the bowls of wustlepus might keep trying to strangle him, but hey, cy can handle it

cy used to think we was master of stuffing his face, but he quickly found out that you do not challenge an alien with 9 stomachs to an eating competition and expect to win. it’s still fun, of course, to pick a restaurant and watch her slowly but surely put away food with a grace that cy doesn’t (care to) have. robin and BB cheer will them on, raven is disgusted but plays referee anyway (even though it’s not like the result ever changes)

“are the table manners required for today’s duel of excessive food consumption?” star will ask cy innocently, but she’d be smiling a lil smugly because she knows she’s gonna win like always

(at some point, the restaurant manager will start eyeing them nervously from the doorway of the staff room, unsure about whether to ask the titans to leave before they run the kitchen dry, or to take advantage of the publicity.)

cy and star are a couple that isn’t inclined to subtle about anything. that means smooching all the time. mwah noises. flirting. glomps. yelling at shit together for fun– cy just expresses himself loudly, while shouting at each other is a form of affection on tamaran. they’ll sometimes wrestle, sometimes arm wrestling and sometimes all out full-body on the floor (actual wrestling tho, not a innuendo; star usually wins). they keep denting walls and furniture with their messing around and the other titans are like /(e_e)\ *passing out earplugs* and at some point robin is like guys… just… keep it in your rooms please

but being loud isn’t exclusive to daytime. nobody fucking knows how the hell an alien and a robot get it on, but based on all the god damn noise at night, they’ve apparently figured something out. maybe more than one something. it is a mystery

“hey, star… ever heard of a vibrator?”

most of their making out happens in the gym tho, let’s be real. they’ve been checking each other out for years in there. now they just get frisky after (or during, or before) a workout, culminating in yet another “workout”. they never lock the door, and after enough incidents the other titans just end up boycotting the gym entirely in lieu of the other training room

with the added privacy, star opts to work out in the gym without a top on. or a bra. then she heads for the treadmill

“you never wear clothing, cyborg, so why should i?”

cyborg keeps dropping his weights on himself and just ends up covered in dents, two mangled prosthetic legs, and having done no training at all

they’re such a peppy excited pair that sometimes things can get a bit too wild. there’s a pile in the back of cy’s room made up solely of dented/crushed/melted/ripped arm and leg prosthetics, all damaged because cy was busy pampering his superpowered alien gf a lil too much. starfire feels super bad but cy is like, he has to fix his limbs after a lot of battles anyway, it’s no big deal. he also hasn’t bothered to suggest a workaround yet because watching her lose control is hot (and maybe getting his hand melted is kinda kinky)

they sometimes troll the other titans– usually robin– by whispering in tamaranian behind them and snickering, pretending like they’re talking about them. robin used to be extra miffed by this, but after learning that cy’s tamaranian is actually still shit enough that he has yet to learn to string together a proper sentence longer than 3 words, robin knows they’re just fucking around with him. at one point robin turns around on the couch and throws some tamaranian right back at them and cyborg’s like :O what the fuck? what the fuck?? and star’s like yeah actually robin asked me to teach him tamaranian too. and robin’s like :) and cy is grumpy he can’t antagonize him with it anymore (and that it’s not exclusively his and star’s code language anymore, but really, you can’t own a language like that)

star likes to cart cy around while flying, but he’s just so bulky that he doesnt look all graceful and shit like robin; he just looks kinda goofy dangling in the air with her holding him under the arms. but even if he felt a little self-conscious, he forgets it quickly when she lets him skim the ocean with his feet or take him up over the clouds– he’d thought he lost everything with the accident that left him a robot, but getting to fly like this is something he never could’ve even dreamed of even when he was all human. like. this must be what it actually means to be living. everything happens for a reason

cy gets a UV lamp installed in his body just in case they get stuck somewhere and there’s no sunlight for star, he can’t replace the sun but it might help

he also turns his heaters up a bit when they’re cuddling coz he knows she likes warmth, as long as he’s not running the risk of overheating his system, but his metal parts can be cold to the touch and while she doesnt mind it at all he just wants her to be cozy….

cy’s like the only titan taller than star, so she usually floats to be eye level with him. he big and bulky and strong and he reminds her of galfore, and that’s part of why she always felt protected and safe around him. not to mention star’s been getting taller than most earth people her age; she sometimes feels like a tall poppy, sticking out of the crowd too much. so she lowkey enjoys being smol for once compared to cyborg, especially if she ever feels like hiding behind him, or being carried by him, the comfort of a sort of bodyguard that she doesn’t necessarily need but is there if she wants

i keep bringing this up but star sitting on cyborg’s shoulders/arms like. the result is this tall stack of a couple that towers over all the other titans– then like everyone will be chilling on the couch when they hear making out noises from above and they look up and its just star floating around cyborg’s head as they smooch and everyone’s like -_-

all the meme fun aside, they’re always able to confide in each other whenever they’re upset. they’ll sit together in silence and just lean on each other or hug and wait for someone to spill. if (when) it comes down to “will i ever fit in?”, because that kinda worry never completely goes away, they’ll be reassured that they know the few places they’ll always be accepted– and that’s in the titans, or in the unconventional relationship between a half robot and an alien nuclear bomb

star likes being around cy coz he’s so sturdy, in more ways than one– he’s strong enough to tank stuff so it’s safer to roughhouse with him. she loves being able to give the biggest of hugs without worrying too much about crushing a ribcage (earthlings and their Fragile Little Bones!)

cy loves how small star is compared to him bc shes fun to pick up or pluck from the air and cuddle ♥ and she’s so warm, just radiating heat both literally and metaphorically and she’s so full of life and heart, and cy’s once again reminded of what it really means to be human– by a goddamn alien, no less

they like to touch each other’s faces, just caressing n stuff like they do in “how long is forever” and the teen titans go comic #24, staring into each others eyes and shit and going all (uwu) they just love to touch each other okay even back when they were just friends!!!!!!!

HAVE I MENTIONED THE SMOOCHES. star will just kiss cy all over his face because its fun and she knows he likes it. then cy returns the favor, except with increasingly exaggerated kissing and nomming noises because it makes star laugh and blush like crazy. it’s horribly embarrassing for anyone else watching. star & cy are usually standing in the middle of the corridor by this point, and then robin was gonna head to his office, but once he sees the path is blocked– by this no less– just returns the way he came without a word

if anyone tries to make star feel uncomfortable for being alien or misunderstanding something, which does still happen sometimes, they’ll quickly find out they’ve got the goddamn terminator comin for their ass. or they’ll turn around and see 6 foot tall robot man with arms crossed and red eye glowing and he’ll be like (: hey there (:

star keeps leaving the garage with motor oil all over her face. none of the other titans knows how to address it, or if they even should, so they don’t

anyway theyre in love

#:)#text #cystar #im weak #yes i referenced teen titans go because ttg actually has the wholesome cystar content can you believe this. episodes just about them #and theyre really cute #fight me irl #might edit this later its a mess #long post

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velvetgons · 6 years ago

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seunghun as your boyfriend;

seunghun x reader

warnings; hm maybe some swearing but nothing else :)

word count; 3.2k

requested; yes :) the junkyu one is already done and is under my writing// tag!

so what’s seunghun’s vibe i hear u ask? well it’s: ROMANCE

seunghun is the epitome of movie romance boy babey!!

you’d still meet him a very Normal and Generic setting, though

but it would still be super cute and the kind of experience where you think about it later that night and you gotta think ‘did that actually happen??’

i’m thinking a coffee shop because idk i got those chill vibes from seunghun

it’d be this really small niche coffee shop that plays the lo-fi hip-hop radio 24/7 and you only really go there because a. it’s small so there’s not a lot of people and b. the drinks are just so good?? you don’t know what they’re doing to make everything taste five star restaurant worthy but you don’t care!!

and one day you go there just to be chilled out and continue to work your way through the entire menu to test your theory that god himself is making these drinks

but when you’re just sitting and ~chilling~ you hear the door open

n you honestly don’t usually look up because it’ll just be another hipster teenager walking in, which is very valid and you’ve lowkey started to think that hipster fashion is maybe not so bad

(your friends disagree but i mean, who’s actually seeing hipster fashion up close and personal daily??)

but this time ur just like hm wonder who’s coming in today

and oh my god?? you feel like your brain has just short-circuited

there’s this cute ass boy with the softest looking hair wearing an oversized soft jumper walking into the shop with these pretty eyes that are glancing around to observe the space

and your interest is peaked, so you’re paying full attention to him now like godly drink? not important there is the most beautiful man over there and you are about ready to die with how shocked you are

and then he just. gets his coffee and you think he’s gonna turn and leave so you’re :((

but as he about reached the door he turns his head a little and he sees you and he’s like :O

tbh he’d probably actually gasp like yeah that’s seunghun and he’s shocked!

and he wants to walk over to your table but he doesn’t know if you want company or if you want to be left alone

so he’s 365 so stressed and rushes out of the coffee shop because omg he can’t make someone ((and himself)) nervous that’s too much to do in one day

and so now you’re left wondering like?? was that a good shocked face and run away? because that’s definitely not usually a good sign

but you go back the next day as usual except this time you’re waiting for something ((spoiler: it’s seunghun. you went there to see the Cute Boy.))

and tbh you don’t think he’s gonna come back because i mean who gasps and runs out of a building for a good reason

but he does!! and he’s being ‘sly’ okay seunghun trying to check to see if you’re there that day and when he sees you sat there like yesterday he’s so excited

he’s been getting prepped all throughout yesterday and mostly through the night because he didn’t sleep properly

but now he’s ready to go ask if he can sit with you and make nice polite pleasant conversation

forgive him he’s only on phase one of his long-term plan to marry the cute person he saw at the coffee shop

so he gets his coffee and he walks over to you and says in the uwu small text “hello! does anybody sit here or is this seat free?”

and i mean first of all it’s completely unnecessary for him to sit with you like there’s so many free seats

but lowkey yeah you’ve been thinking about him too so you’d say yes

even if there is the slight worry that he might be a serial killer you decide to Take The Chance this one time

and omg as soon as you said yes seunghun could swear his heart did a keyboard smash and then stopped beating for a whole minute

but he takes his seat! and then completely freezes

he just doesn’t know what to say at first :(( he’s worried he’ll say something weird or not say enough to impress you so he just sits quietly and drinks his coffee

but then he sees that you’re wearing this cute lil necklace so he’s like “wowie!! that necklace is super cute :))”

and of course you’d say “omg!! thank you so much!!”

and like tbh. he gets so much confidence from them on. he just takes that one small comments and creates a whole conversation from

he asks where you got the necklace, if you shop there often, if you shop overall often, what other things you like to shop for, what other things you like in general

when it gets to a time that either one of you have to leave, seunghun genuinely wouldn’t want to, and if he had plans he’d check to see if he could cancel them without feeling guilty to spend time with you

but if you had to leave or if he couldn’t cancel his plans he’s gonna be a sad boy

you honestly just feel like you’ve been on a date tbh

so you’d honestly forget the inhibition and be like “aw :(( well it’s okay just give me your number so we can do this again!”

and you only realise when he does the same face he did yesterday that oh whoops maybe you didn’t fully realise that you were saying that

he just makes you feel really comfortable so you honestly forget about things that would’ve made you nervous with other people

but once he recovers from the shock he’d just be like “:] yeah okay that sounds fine with me”

and he just wants to talk to you 24/7!! but he refrains from texting you all the time because he doesn’t want you to end up finding him annoying :-)

tbh though he’d respond to your texts pretty quickly all the time either way? if he’d been talking to you all day, then his responses would take like ten seconds while he typed them out. but if you hadn’t been talking to him at all, his responses would probably still only take fifteen minutes max unless he was busy with something

on that note, he’d tell you whenever he was busy with things so you didn’t ever think he was purposefully ignoring you

and he’d take you out to different coffee shops in an attempt to prove or disprove your theory about the niche lil one you go to

and if you had hobbies like visiting museums or shopping? he’d totally come along with you!!

brings you along on little trips he takes too!! if he’s going to buy something from a store he doesn’t usually go to? guess who he’s inviting!!

tries to make you push him around in the cart to see how long you can go until a staff member tells him to get out (your current record is an hour and twenty-one minutes)

tbh everyone around you would probably think you were dating?? like your friends just assume you’ve told him that you like him already and now you’re just dating

and seunghun’s probably told his friends that he was In Love with you the day he met you, because he firmly believes in soulmates even if he friends don’t

after being close friends with you for like six months you’d probably think it was time to give him a big speech about how you like him as more than just a friend

so you sit him down and give him this whole lengthy rehearsed statement like “first of all, seunghun, i really don’t want to ruin this friendship…”

and by the time you’re done rambling about how much you think he’s amazing and perfect in every way he’s like

“well, i’m really touched, seriously, i’m tearing up a little…” and you’re like :(( he’s trying to let me down gently at least, but then he just goes, “but i thought we were already dating???”

and, first of all, you’re kinda just like ok damn that was seriously unnecessary then huh. but second of all, that’s definitely not bad news!!

so you kinda just laugh n say, “we never agreed that !”

and he’d say “well you know i kinda just assumed :( my bad”

and then you become the meme (you know the one where the guy’s like “that ain’t no problem, that ain’t no problem!” that one)

but anyway! now you have a big babey as your boyfriend so you struck out there

and like. nothing changes? you’d have thought that at least something would change but now he just gets to kiss you!! and that’s about it

seunghun is a hand holding enthusiast, first of all

he loves making you really do really obscure odd things with him that if anyone else asked you to do you’d be like ‘no wtf’

but with seunghun it’s like: go find the strangest most ugly painting in an art store and take a picture of you imitating them mood it portrays? sure that sounds fun! even more fun when you actually buy it!

or maybe he wants to make a scarecrow entirely out of pictures of himself? and you’re just like, “sure, yeah, that sounds like a fun activity”

idk if this is just an english thing or if it’s world-wide but you know like pub knowledge quizzes? he’d make you go to things like that on subjects neither of you have no idea about at all

but he’d also do really cute things with you or for you sometimes :(

like, he’ll buy cards with pretty art or cute cartoons on the front and write you lil short paragraphs about a different aspect of you that he loves

or he’ll get a collection of different flower bouquets and put them all together for you

and he’s not scared to admit it either!! if you bring it up in front of other people’s he doesn’t get embarrassed because that’s his mfing baby!!

gives you about a thousand kisses every day but his favourite kind of kiss is when you give him lil pecks or pepper his cheeks with kisses :)) they make him feel all warm n cuddly n safe

all of his kisses are very sweet and soft for the most part though

and tbh he doesn’t really kiss you for any other reason than a. he knows you like being kissed omg and b. it’s such a cute lil way of showing affection

he also adores having the classic late night conversations

okay but: seunghun loves going outside late at night, he doesn’t care really whether it’s cold or warm but summer nights after a long day are his favourites, and lying or sitting on a blanket with you and having you both go off on different tangents about a thousand different things you’ve been thinking of or that you have an opinion on

for example, his fixation with soulmates

you ask him one of the many times you’re sat outside looking at the stars with him why he’s so obsessed with the concept of soulmates

and he’d kinda just shrug at you and be like “i just really do think they’re real. i really, really believe in them. that’s about it.” and he’s got these big cute eyes that are reflecting the stars and you’re two seconds away from giving him a smooch

but he’s not done!! he’d go on to be like, “well i mean. i did think they were real, but now i know they’re real because i’ve met mine.”

you might cry a lil bit at that. that’s understandable.

but he’s smiling so softly and his eyes are so starry and pretty and he’s like “can i give you a kiss :-)”

and you’re just like :(( yeah, yes pls

you’d realise a while into your relationship that he’d gotten a necklace that matched the one he’d complimented when he first met you too

and when you’d ask him why he’d tell you it was because he wanted a reminder of you and meeting you with him always

if you came to watch him practice or expressed an overt interest in his debut or anything to do with his passion he’d be so happy!! he’d love to explain things to you, or show you new choreographies and songs he was working on

i feel like seunghun’s the type to wanna have lil conversations before bed

he already knows how your day’s been because if he hasn’t been keeping in regular contact with you throughout the day, he’s definitely asked you the second he sees you

he just wants to have another run-down over it so he can comment on stuff more in depth if he hadn’t had the chance before

tells you about his day and discusses how he’s felt about things so he can hear your opinion on them too

omg but you two would definitely spill tea together i mean, if there’s drama in your day? guess who’s getting a text w a tea emoji so he knows you have something to tell him about when you see him in person

and if he sees some stuff go down? he’d probably straight up call you in a bathroom to start telling you the story before he had to rush off to make sure he didn’t miss anything

you two just gossip. you both know everything about everyone. that one girl from your class who sits in the second row and always has to borrow a pencil from someone and you think it’s because she likes someone in the class? he knows about that. he has a theory on that.

we all also know seunghun’s kinda loud right?

because if he’s hyping you up, he’s Hyping You Up

you go out shopping with him and some friends? they’re like “wow that’s a cute shirt!!” but seunghun’s like “you are the most beautiful human being on this planet” (bass boosted)

has two different reactions when you compliment him:

either it’s “omg not here i’m gonna blush and that will so embarrassing for the both of us!!!”

or it’s “thank you for saying my shoes are nice i would die for you :-*”

either way, you’re just like :] of course any-time buddy

onto another topic, seunghun has a range of different pet-names for you

in private it’s like “my angel !! my baby !! my princess !! my lil love-bug cuddle-bug uwu machine wife !!”

but in public it’s like your full name. or maybe ‘babe’ if he’s feeling bold.

he just doesn’t want his friends to tease him because he Knows they would never let him live it down if they heard his nicknames for you

also seunghun seems like the type to leave you audio messages instead of just texting you? especially if he was gonna say something cute because now there can’t be any screenshots

(if u two have tea to spill and have to be apart, you best believe you’re sending each other audio of you laughing or commenting or at the very least giving a dramatic rendition of how arguments happened)

but his normal audio messages are usually just him telling you that he loves you a lot :) and he hopes you have a good day :) and reminders to eat and drink regularly :) and if you ever show this to anyone he’ll fight you >:)

just so you know, play-fighting doesn’t exist with seunghun because the concept is dumb to him

so either you’re wwe fighting or you’re not qualified to fight him

saying that, if you try and tickle him, it’s over. just don’t do it. he will not accept that sort of treachery in his home

funny how he says that and then would also spend a couple of hours cuddling you while you’re wrapped up in blanket so you can ‘feel like you would on a cloud’

the duality!

still makes you do dumb stuff after you start dating though that’s not going away

you wanna go for a walk as soon as the sun starts to rise so you can see the sky change colours and look really pretty? how can you say no to that offer!

he’d do that but then get genuinely concerned when you say you’re tired before at the very least after 5pm

he just doesn’t like the idea of you not being healthy and happy

on this topic, i really don’t think seunghun’s the type to argue? about anything?

he just. he just doesn’t get angry very often tbh. maybe he’d get annoyed with you occasionally but if he has an issue with something you’re doing he’ll just tell you bro he’s not pressed about it

and he really expects you to do the same if it’s something that you seriously don’t like because he won’t be offended by it

he’s a firm believe that you’re both best friends!! you can tell each other anything and nothing comes with negatives if it’s something you need to address with one another!!

like, getting jealous? yeah, he does!! but he’s rational and he knows he can trust you so what’s there to get seriously mad about

and if you get jealous? that’s fine, as long as you know too that he’s serious about how you two are supposed to be able to fully trust one another so you don’t need to be worried about anything

he doesn’t get snappy when he’s tired, he just wants to take a nap and maybe get a cuddle while he does :))) as long as you’re fine with that, he’s not bothered

he’d get quite upset if you snapped at him though, and he’d make sure to tell you whenever you calmed down from your mood that you can just tell him if you’re not in a good place or if you’re tired and he’ll give you your space

he always seems like a person who’s so quick to bounce back from things? and i think he’d like to be able to just rant at you sometimes about how he’s really feeling before he has to rationalise it just so he isn’t bottling anything up

gives you genuine heart eyes when you remind him that it’s okay for him to have normal human emotional reactions to things like everybody else does

tbh seunghun would give you heart eyes all the time :///

i feel like this one’s been shorter than others but i just. i just honestly think dating seunghun would be a really nice pleasant experience?

he’s just such a genuinely good person and has so much he wants to do with you

(he’d probably make a lil bucket list hhhhh)

would probably conclude that he’s definitely gonna marry you from the very moment he first started talking to you tbh

like he would constantly remind you, he firmly believes that you two are actual soulmates, so no problem is too big for the both of you to face in his eyes :((

#sEuNgHuN sEuNgHuN #i love my bAbY #writing//#ygtblbr #ygtb imagines #ygtb scenarios #ygtb reactions #yg treasure box reactions #yg treasure box scenarios #yg treasure box imagines

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katsutomos · 6 years ago

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hello, i’m kosmo (she/her) and i’m v excited to be here hehehe! thank u for having me! ;; also i didn’t realise that both kosmo and tomo end the with the same letters & now i wanna d*e but oh well pls ignore that! (: anyw, i’m here introduce TOMO!! there’s probably some stuff i left out here but it ended up having a word count of almost 2.5k so i’m just going to stop myself while i’m ahead! i’ll finish off my stats & bio pages soon and then i’ll try to think up some plots but here’s all this for now!

(tw: suicide mention, brief drug mentions)

BASIC STATS

NAME / tomo katsumura; his full name is tomohiko but nobody calls him that except his mum & grandparents like literally everybody else knows him as tomo NICKNAMES / technically, tomo IS a nickname but he’s so used it that not using a nickname with him is :knife emoji: -- also katsutomo but that one’s more of fan-title-nickname rather than one he actually uses (as much as he came up with it himself tweeting it out like ‘you guys can call me katsutomo from now on if you like ^^’ before changing all his handles to that exact name). other than that, he’s a bit iffy about nicknames. he likes them if HE came up with them but giving him a nickname is usually Yikes City (unless he decides it’s cute and lets u do it, i guess) AGE & DOB / twenty-three & 6th november 1995 BIRTHPLACE / LA, USA ETHNICITY / japanese OCCUPATION / actor! he dabbles in modelling but it’s more of an ‘i got asked to model this thing bc i’m famous and they’re paying me (:’ type deal than it being something he’s actually personally into. whereas acting is his PASSION.

EARLY LIFE

to start with, let’s talk about his parents; his dad, born and raised in america, was an actor who eventually made a move into directing but ultimately committed suicide at age 38 & his mother, born and raised in japan, is a socialite who had started off as a teen idol in the 80s. his parents had also divorced when tomo was still young, a few years before his dad’s death, so he uses his mother’s surname. tomo does not get on with her but, thanks to the sense of guilt she’s raised into him, he can’t bring himself to cut her out of his life completely.

basically, she’s got hang ups about the way her idol career ended so she kind of pushed tomo into the spotlight (which was fine for him because he wanted to act) but she grew envious of him after he got out of his teens and doesn’t like the decisions he makes. it’s a mutual issue. they mostly don’t get on because they can’t see eye to eye or really speak to each other at length without arguing.

his mum actually wanted him to break into acting when he was about nine because he’d already taken an interest in it by then. because her career had ended early, she took the approach of ‘he won’t be cute forever, what if we wait too long and he loses his chance?’ but his father, who had his own issues with the industry, strongly disagreed. this disagreement was one small contributing factor for their divorce; they had plenty of other issues as well but this didn’t help. their compromise was that tomo could wait until he was in his teens and this deal was mostly held up because tomo thought it was wrong to break a promise with a dead guy.

to be clear though, he’d probably have issues with his dad too if he were still alive (and he’s not exactly super fond of him as it is; he doesn’t hate him but he doesn’t like being asked about being his son). he was kind of a shit husband and, if it weren’t for the fact he didn’t see tomo as often as he’d like, he’d probably be a pretty distant father as well. his work was pretty much his main priority and he had a lot of personal issues that he took out on other people.

tomo grew up in LA for the most part but also spent a lot of time in japan, mostly jumping between osaka, where his mother’s family lived, and tokyo, where his mother’s friends and connections & his father’s extended family lived. the family stopped travelling quite as much after his father’s death and tomo’s reaching high school age. he grew up bilingual.

CAREER

he started acting professional when he was 16, mostly with a few smaller tv roles but he had good connections and was able to get a small but still substantial role in the film directed by a friend of his dad. his big break came at age 18 when he landed a leaded a role in the main cast of high school drama. it was exciting at first, being on tv and being famous, but he hated both the show and his character so the whole thing got tired fast. he wasn’t allowed to quick so he went out of his way to get himself fired. there’s a whole story behind that but i’ll leave that for the bio hehehe! (he wanted his character to get killed off bc he thought it’d be fun to act out but they wouldn’t let him do that ): boooo)

one of his biggest issues with the tv show was that he didn’t like being sold as a product / character that wasn’t anything like him. he hated being shown off as this squeaky clean teen heartthrob type and not being allowed to have his own emotions & tastes. he found it mentally exhausting and, since then, he’s had a lot of issues dealing with the contrast between how he is as a person and how he’s seen by the media. he tries not to admit it but he’s terrified of being swallowed up by what other people think of of him and losing track of himself in the process. it’s made him a little paranoid.

since then, he’s avoided tv as much as possible. he prefers working on films in general but he finds the idea of playing the same character for too long incredibly unappealing. he enjoys taking on new roles and absorbing himself in that character & sometimes to the point of bordering on obsession so playing the same role not only plays into his fears of people seeing him as someone he’s not (i.e; whatever character it is) but he’s also scared of seeing HIMSELF the wrong way. he needs the separation.

tomo likes working on indie films or more artistic/niche studio films most of all. the promotion cycle isn’t as intensive and the characters tend to appeal to him more. he has appeared in a few blockbuster-type films but mostly because his bosses have pushed him into it or he’s had to taken on a multiple film contract with a studio in order to land a role he really wanted. (he once got int trouble for calling his own character in a blockbuster a ‘dumb bitch’ on twitter)

the bratpack article had a pretty heavy impact on him. it kinda just spoke to all of his worst fears of not really being a Real Person or being Sold A Certain Way. he wanted to get away from it without having to actually stop working because it’s the one thing that really keeps him stable. his eventual means of escape was a role in a japanese film. he’s been living in japan since then, having moved there to specifically hunt out a film to work on, to get used to the japanese industry/prepare himself and then get to filming. he’s come to milan straight from tokyo, not having seen any of the other brats in person during that time, but he’s had time to relax. sort of.

PERSONALITY

for the most part, tomo’s a friendly and energetic guy! (living up to his name a lil bit here bc tomo can mean ‘friend’ in japanese hehehe) when he’s at his best, he’s great company. he likes to stand out in a crowd, has a winning smile and enjoys a little bit of attention but also knows when to step back and look out for other people. he likes to play as hard as he works. the trouble is that, when things aren’t going well and he’s distressed, he tends to collapse in on himself. behaviour that seemed playful before looks straight up stupid and reckless instead. he’ll avoid attention but get frustrated because he craves it and do more reckless shit for attention. yet he’s pretty good at pretending shit’s fine, he’s still weirdly positive for a guy who feels all messed up — maybe he gets away with it because he’s a good actor. tomo has good days and bad days but there’s little warning as to which is which. it wasn’t always this way; it’s like something has broken his spirit. (i copied this from my app but asdghgsdf)

that’s why his archetype is The Contradiction,,,bc he doesn’t make any fuckin sense, woooeee! he’s this very bouncy, upbeat person and he likes having fun but he’s not really a very positive person in terms of outlook. he’s too high energy! his general vibe is everything’s going to shit but i’m going to have a good time anyway :D

actually, on that note...he IS :D

he doesn’t like crying in front of people which is rough bc he’s v emotional all the time. he’s a total crybaby when he’s drunk. if you drink with him, there WILL be a point at which you have to scoop him up off the floor because he’s found something over which to start weeping. OR he’ll end up calling you to panic about how he can’t find his way home, only for him to realise like 5 minutes later he’s phoning you from the steps outside his apartment building.

the kind of guy who can have a full-on breakdown in his room by himself and then just reappear & ask u if u wanna go for ice cream or smth bc he’s bored. like ok that’s done with, that already happened. it’s over.

anyw he’s always willing to give ppl advice if they’re feeling stuck. it’s not always great advice bc he’s basically shit at dealing with stuff himself. he’s not one of these ppl who gives great advice but can’t follow it himself, he’s more...he gives advice bc he’d feel bad if he didn’t TRY so the advice itself definitely varies in quality. he means well though.

don’t watch funny films with him because he will do one of either things; 1) not find it funny and sit through the whole thing like : | or 2) he’ll find it so funny that he’ll end up on the floor at some point. there’s no in between. it’s all or nothing with this fucker.

he really likes cute shit. he’s rich so there’s nothing stopping him from buying those overpriced limited edition hello kitty goods.

let’s not talk about how he enjoys acting bc it’s an escape where he can be Somebody Else but he can’t cope with himself being promoted as something that doesn’t feel like Tomo. that’s its own mess. i’m p sure he’d just unravel if anybody said anything about it.

OTHER STUFF

his hair is currently bright red. it’s a recent change but he was like ‘uhhhh if i’m going on this trip, i’m making a visual statement’ and that was that. he likes to go for more interesting colours when he’s not filming anything because it’s the only time he really gets to. i mean, he still has dyed hair in a lot of his films but it’ll usually be brown or blonde or something else more ‘realistic’.

tomo cares a LOT about the way he dresses and styles himself. he’ll probably complain if he has to do a promo/magazine shoot and he doesn’t like the outfit he’s been given. it doesn’t actually help him half the time and he just gets told to shut up but it’s the PRINCIPLE of it !!!!!!!!

he posts on his finsta probably way too often but that’s because his public social media is pretty filtered, given that he’s caused fusses on social media before. there have been multiple cases of him having to delete tweets and instagram posts because somebody in charge decided he was pushing the limit just a little too much and, granted, most of it wouldn’t be seen as risky (bc it’s mostly utterly pointless stuff that gets flagged up as risky, e.g; ‘i need to pee and i can’t find a bathroom. death is coming for me.’) if he hadn’t publicly complained about the tv show that made him famous several times on twitter but he did do that so, y’know, he’s seen as a liability. the unfortunate outcome of this is that his finsta story is often littered with fairly inane thoughts.

he’s not very good at watching himself in films. it depends on the film and he can do it but uhhhh let’s just say he once watched the one horror film he was in at the cinema (and didn’t like most of it bc he’s a wuss about that sort of thing) but he laughed during his own death scene. there were tears in his eyes. real tears.

he doesn’t like dating because...well, he likes the IDEA of it but he’s the type to really fall for someone and BASICALLY? he’s scared of being dumped! he’s a bright & appealing personality with just enough edge to balance it out but he’s a bit of an emotional screwball and getting people interested is easier than keeping them interested, leading to mixed experiences with dating so he’s settled for sleeping around a little instead. oh well, whatever works! (does it actually work? shhhh it’s a secret...)

he’s very much involved in the party scene, whatever country he’s in. it’s not something he talks about much (privately, i mean, bc DUH he doesn’t say it publicly) but he doesn’t exactly avoid drugs in anyway (code for...yeah, he’s done stuff). it’s all casual, he says, but he still does it. he does smoke cigarettes though and he’s a little dependent on that.

also i guess he got involved in that kinda thing deliberately because he wants to distance himself from the clean-cut, shiny heartthrob pretty boy image as much as possible. eventually, it just became a natural way of de-stressing and dealing with the constant frustration of his career. the unfortunate consequence of that is that he’s now got a bit of a Bad Boy/Wild Child image and he’s not entirely sure he likes that either. (the shift in image also means that some journalists will talk about him as though he’s ‘gone off the rails’ and, yeah, he hates that as well)

#bratsintro #ok i kept trying to review this to make sure everything's in order but iM...SICK OF READING IT SO hopefully it's fine as is ASDFGHGF #i feel like my eyeballs are gonna fall out if i look at this any longer so im just gonna hit post and tell myself to shut upASDFGHG #i think there's some stuff i forgot to put in here that WAS in the app so i might just put a link to it on my blog somewhere #except i forgot to save the final version of the app i actually sent so i CAN'T REMEMBER

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lunebinnie · 6 years ago

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(1/11)Oh my gosh yesss I'm glad that you like long messages too because I talk way too much 😂 (And yeah about my friend and just hanging out w/ her more that's exactly what I was thinking 😂) It's actually kind of funny bc just yesterday I was hanging out at her house and her younger brother needed to go to Walmart and I was like 'I've been meaning to go to Walmart, I'll take you' and ofc since I have a bluetooth radio adapter the whole drive I had my Spotify going with some quality k-bops, lol

2)And as we were driving I noticed him kind of jamming and I was like 'Oh my god Mickey do you actually like this???' And he was Like 'yeah, these are some good bops 👍' I was shooketh. I had to go home before I had the chance to show him any music videos but he says he's open to watching some with me next time I see him. One way or another I'm going to turn someone in my social circle into a kpop fan you mark my words ☝ and then maybe we can team up and try to work on his sister some more 😂

3)I only started first getting into kpop last June so I'm still very new, but it's definitely super frustrating how so many ppl act like it's an inherently bad or cringey genre of music just bc it's kpop! The stigma is ridiculous! I also started out with BTS (lol) and since they're pretty popular in the US at least I was able to be like 'See, this isn't just a niche thing, lots of people know abt and like this group' but of course my dad still says 'Just cause it's popular doesn't make it good'

4)And I'm like? You're a band teacher, you of all people should understand that music doesn't have to be in your native language (or even have lyrics) in order for you to enjoy it, but go off I guess... It's the same with one of my college friends. They make fun of me for liking kpop but this is coming from some who still treats March 22nd (the day My Chemical Romance broke up) as a day of mourning. Like, no tea no shade no pink lemonade, MCR was a good band nothing wrong with liking them.

5)But like if you're 22 and you still haven't grown out of your emo phase do you really have room to pick on other people for their music taste? 🤷 Anyway that's the person who follows my main that I didn't want to know I had a kpop sb. I think I made it around July. Tbh it was pretty dead for most of 2018. But like I said I've started using it way more since I recently revealed that it exists, lol. Especially since that good good Astro cb 👏💗😩 But honestly Astro is such a blessing

6)Idk how I lived so long w/o them. When I first got into kpop I was planning on just sticking to BTS since the reaction to me being into kpop was so volatile. I was like 'I'm only into one group, ppl already are negative about me liking kpop so I'm just gonna stick to this and not become a full on multifandom fan' and then in Nov I accidentally let myself fall in love with Monsta X and that plan was foiled. And realizing I wasn't gonna be able to stick to just one anymore opened the floodgates

7)And I was like okay in that case, let's just start getting into *all groups* Lol. My story of getting into Astro was actually bc of my best friend's roommate (can you tell I have like one friend and my whole social circle kinda revolves around her? Lol) so this roommate when she heard me being sad about having no kpop friends was like 'oh hey, I'm kinda into kpop' and it turns out she didn't like very many groups and was one of the ppl who blah blah BTS is overrated, which ya know isn't ideal8)But I was just really desperate to have someone to talk about kpop with. And Astro was her favorite so I was like, okay I'll get into them so that I have something to talk about with her! So I started watching some videos and I fell in love with them pretty much instantly! And I was real excited bc #1 now I can talk about kpop with someone! And #2 this group is actually amazing? Bonus! ... And then they got in a big fight about their living conditions and the roommate ended up moving out RIP

9)So that didn't work out, lol (Your story about finding them during that internship sounds amazing though! Haha) But yeah, so this is my first cb too! And although I love them w/ my whole heart and would have loved to have them in my life even sooner what an amazing cb to be your first! The concept was wonderful, the album was excellent, the visuals were to *die* for. They worked so hard and I'm so proud of them and I'm so happy we got to see their work come to fruition and get them a win 🤧🤧

10)The dance practices though? You're so right omg 💗 Me and my Rocky bias *fully* understand 😂 All of them are such good dancers?? I never fail to be impressed. Of course you know who I always end up watching tho 👀 lol (̶i̶f̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶R̶o̶c̶k̶y̶'̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶t̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶.̶.̶.̶)̶ ̶ I also love how at the end they always pause all dramatic for a minute and then start screaming 😂

11)It's like? Amazing talent *and* dorky personalities? What more could you ask for? Lol. In regard to your last question though Unfortunately I also won't be able to see them 😔 I live in the smack middle of the US and since they're only going to coasts all of the venues are way too far away to get to. Esp since it's the school year and I can't skip class to drive cross country for a concert much as I'd like to (Holy lord I talked over twice as much?? Why am I like this?) Talk again soon! -ASA

Okay SO I’m very sorry I haven’t had the time to answer everything until now bc I’ve been busy studying for midterms and also I was a lil trashy today since my uni closed bc of freezing rain so I slept in but I’m glad that FINALLY everything got sent like damn tumblr you really don’t want us making friends huh.

Yessssss I love the feeling of seeing someone else also get into the same interests! I’ve been pretty lucky in the sense that I grew up around mostly other asian americans, so kpop was never something that was considered super “weird,” like some people were into it and some weren’t but even if you weren’t you still would’ve been familiar with the more popular groups from when you were younger. Even now, I have a bunch of friends also into kpop (one of them is even my roommate) so tbh I was definitely the one in my friend group late to the party aha. Even my university hosts kpop nights at our bar and I’m pretty sure we have a kpop dance team as well? So tbh if I met someone new there’s probably like a 50% chance they’re into kpop or at least listen casually.

Tbh I used to be a little bit judgy too but moreso because of the obscene amount of money I’ve seen some of my friends spend (no joke one of my friends has spent probably like $500+ on Loona stuff in the past month and a half and another friend bought like 5 copies of the same album for herself like damn idk how do you have that much money).

I also really don’t like it when people bash other people’s music tastes, since I feel like it’s something so personal? Idk but for a long time I used to be really self conscious about sharing my music with other people and even now I feel like that sometimes. For me after getting into BTS I kind of expected to get really into other groups since I was in Korea anyway and I was already listening to a lot of other artists casually. For me it started with NU’EST (fell for them immediately at the same concert that I saw Astro at) and then after was Astro, and then I just started slowly getting into other groups after that (even though I haven’t totally been able to get into Got7′s music they’re SO funny and I just kinda fell for their personalities you know).

I honestly think that they did such a wonderful job with this comeback too! I like seeing their concept evolve and mature but they’re not straying too far from their original cute concept so I feel like it’s a nice middle ground that’s very unique to them, you feel? Also I feel like the visuals especially and the execution of the whole plant concept was just done so well?? Even my friend who’s not in kpop was like “k idk who they are but that was the prettiest music video I’ve ever seen”. What are your favourite eras and songs? For me I’d have to say either the Spring Up or Baby era BUT right now my favourite song is probably Again/Should’ve Held On though tbh my mood and my tastes change like every few weeks loool.

I have no idea why I tend to be most attracted to the dances rather than vocals or rap (maybe has to do with the fact that it’s something I’ve always wished I could do but have always been bad at lmao). But Astro’s stood out to me for the exact same reason! I just thought it was so funny seeing them all break character at the end because you really get to see how hard their choreos are and you get a glimpse of their personalities like damn, how can you not stan these dummies?

That’s really unfortunate that you won’t get to see them either :/ They’re also coming to the closest city to me but it’s on a Tuesday, but I *hypothetically* looked up flight prices and tried to see if I could get away with just missing a day of classes if I flew back in the middle of the night since I have some friends who did the same thing and drove down to Buffalo but I seem to have underestimated the size of New York State LMAO. But apparently my university’s too far from the airport so it’s “not realistic” (and also I’m hella broke from travelling to Taiwan and Japan while I was in Korea but that’s a minor issue ig). I hope we do both get a chance to see them live though! Who knows, after the success of this comeback I’m expecting a lot more cbs and world tours out of them ;)

#asa #Anonymous

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fairylights101writes · 8 years ago

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#22 (End of the world kiss) for GoshShira

Thank you for the ask!Read on AO3, the rest is below a read more.

Shirabu surveyed the court, eyes critical. The net was already set up, the ball carts were out, and the conditioning equipment and stations had already been arranged, courtesy of him and Kawanishi. The first years milled around, babbling excitedly, ready for another intense practice. People hung out overhead on the balconies and in the seats, ready to watch their practice - he could only hope the boys wouldn’t get distracted today. He wasn’t particularly in the mood for it. Not after practice the day before.

He glanced at the back row of the closest side of the court. The blood was gone, they’d cleaned it within minutes of Goshiki going down. But for some reason he still expect to look over and see Goshiki on his hands and knees, blood gushing from his nose, pained tears squeezing out. Where is he? He hadn’t heard that irritatingly familiar and chipper voice yet, and Goshiki was always the first to appear, often even beating Shirabu.

It was a race they had, between captain and ace, and he wasn’t sure when it had begun. When he had started to enjoy it. When Goshiki being late had started to make him feel weird, so accustomed to seeing that sunny smile waiting on him in the club room. He always showed up within five minutes of school letting out. Except now it was just a few minutes until practice, and yet he was nowhere to be seen.

Shirabu huffed and whirled around, found Kawanishi standing a meter away, carefully taping his fingers. “Taichi, where’s Tsutomu?”

The middle blocker glanced up and shrugged. “I dunno. Akakura said he wasn’t in class today.”

Shirabu glanced at the second year libero who stood by the benches, chatting with first years as he fiddled with his headband. “No texts?”

Kawanishi shook his head. Shirabu scowled and crossed his arms. Kawanishi sighed as he finished wrapping his fingers up and he tossed the tape to one of the first year middle blockers. “His parents picked him up last night, so they probably took him to the doctor and told him to rest. He did bleed a lot, and he could have a concussion.”

“Fine.”

Kawanishi stared at him for a long moment before he raised an eyebrow. “You’re snippy today.” Shirabu scowled at his teammate, stomach bubbling and twisting, but he didn’t say anything, just held Kawanishi’s eyes until his teammate sighed. “You get like this whenever Tsutomu is late without having mentioned something ahead of time. If you’ve got a thing for him just tell him.”

Heat flooded Shirabu’s cheeks as all thought flooded out, everything narrowed down to those words. If you’ve got a thing for him. Shirabu stomped his foot and sneered. “I don’t have a ‘thing’ for that lil’ bowl cut, got it?”

Kawanishi blinked at him and then shrugged. “Whatever. Ready to start practice?”

Shirabu gaped at him for a moment, and then he snapped his mouth shut and whirled around to face the court. “Let’s go,” he grumbled and jogged out.

The rest of the team joined him and they started up a jog around the gym. Chatter broke out within the first lap, talk of projects and assignments, of teams they’d be facing and moves they’d seen from the college games that had aired the night before. But one voice was missing, and it felt painfully quiet without those familiar tones in his ears as he worked his way around the gym until the entire team was covered in sweat.

They stretched out their bodies and launched themselves into conditioning. It wasn’t long before they filled the gym with the sound of thumping feet as they did wall taps, squatting down and exploding up, trying to extend their jump height more and more. They moved on from those to the ladders, agility training, and worked their way through a dozen drills on two sets, three reps each, until everyone was breathing harder, but they pushed on, and did side-to-side slides from one cone to another, all the way up and down the court.

By the third time up the court Shirabu’s thighs were on fire, and his lungs ached, begging for oxygen. He couldn’t hear his team cheering him on - they were a dim buzz in the back of his mind. His heart throbbed in his ears, his ragged breaths snatched his attention away. He tapped the line on the edge of the court and worked his way back down, bringing his feet together and sliding along. He staggered to a stop at the end and slowly rose from the crouch, legs almost numb from the exertion.

Someone nudged him over to the benches, where his other teammates stood drinking and regaining their breath, and he moved. He could barely hear anything beside the deafening rush of blood and throb of his heart, and yet it still felt too quiet. Silent without Goshiki’s loud voice and laughter breaking through the gym.

Shirabu snatched his water bottle up and downed half of it in one go, eyes closed tight. Shoes squeaked on the floor. A hand clapped his back. “Don’t pass out, Kenjirou.”

He opened his eyes and glared at Kawanishi, who only nodded at him before he grabbed his own water bottle. Neither of them said any more. He just drank more and caught his breath before the team launched themselves into the real part of practice, straight into sets and spikes. The position and motions were easy to fall into - a ball was bumped into the air, he would move into place, set the ball to whoever needed the ball.

But, despite the squeak of shoes, the thud of bodies as they returned to earth, the slap of balls against hands and the ground, and the cries of his teammates, it was still too quiet. There was no excited shriek of “Kenji!”, a call for a super straight spike. No exclamations of joy at every successful hit, which was typically followed with “Tsutomu, shut up and get back in line!” No, it was too quiet. And Shirabu didn't like that he detested it.

Shirabu paced along the edge of the court, nerves flickering in his body. Goshiki had been hit days ago - admittedly, he'd only missed one practice with the weekend and then Monday off for a holiday, but he hadn't been in his dorm room either. And he didn't know so because of Goshiki’s roommate, Akakura - technically. Akakura could've and would've sent a text to the team when Goshiki returned. Except he hadn't, and Shirabu had found himself in front of their dorm room every day, knocking and waiting impatiently, only for disappointment.

It was unusual to go a single day without that incessant chatter, absolutely unthinkable to go four. And perhaps that was what had brought about the revelation. Or maybe it had come about when Akakura had let him into the room on Saturday with a smile and promise of tea, and Shirabu had curled up in the plush comfort of Goshiki's beanbag chair, tucked into a cozy niche in their room. It had been all too easy to imagine his underclassman crunched up into that space, knees probably to his ears as he thumbed his way through a Jump magazine, a terrible habit Tendou had gotten him into.

No matter where or when though, the realization had snuck in the longer he went without a chipper, emoticon-filled message, or a dumb picture of a cute dog he’d seen, or anything. He did in fact have a thing for Goshiki. As baffling as the boy himself, but a thing nevertheless. Something that had made Kawanishi sigh in relief when Shirabu had mumbled it to the ceiling of their dorm. He'd thrown a wad of socks at his friend, but that hadn't meant much. Because Goshiki had still been absent from the picture.

And he still was.

Ten minutes after school, and yet he hadn't appeared in the club room, and he wasn't among the few already down in the gym. Shirabu scowled and crossed his arms tight across his chest. That asshole probably transferred without telling me. Jackass. Had to go catch the feelings for the dumb, oblivious bowl cut, didn't you?

He sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, and glanced to the gym entrance. His heart stuttered and he stopped breathing altogether. Goshiki stood there, dressed warm in a thick jacket and a huge scarf that hid his face, as well as a huge hat. Not practice gear. The door slammed shut behind him and Shirabu jogged over, thoughts spinning through his head. Ask him how he is. If he’s clear to play. Don’t yell at him, he might have a concussion. Don’t be an asshole.

Goshiki had grown even taller since the year previous, but Shirabu found that he didn’t care so much for once that he had to crane his neck to look at the ace. “How are you? Feeling better? Cleared for practice? Are you heading to the club room after this?”

Goshiki’s eyes flickered. Slowly the ace reached up and tugged his scarf down. He had a medical mask covering his face - sick? “Kenjirou,” he said, voice oddly soft, “I’m sorry, but I can’t play volleyball anymore.”

Everything ground to a halt. His veins felt frozen, blood sluggish and cold inside. No beat of his heart. He stared at Goshiki, wide-eyed, thoughts short-circuited. The pieces slowly fell into place, the words came together. Everything lurched back into action: heart pounding through his skull; breathing, too loud, grating against his ears; the muted chatter of the team.

“Kenjirou?”

Shirabu’s hand shot out, curled around Goshiki’s wrist. He tugged the teen to the door and back outside. The cold ripped into Shirabu, biting into his exposed calves and arms, into his neck and face, but he pulled the door shut and pushed Goshiki back a step so he could see him. Shock. Confusion. Anger. “What?” he managed, and somehow it came out quietly, rather than the shriek that bubbled to come out.

Goshiki’s eyes fell, eyebrows scrunching together. His fingers came together, anxiously twisting together. His foot tapped at the ground. “I… can’t play. I’m sick.”

“Sick,” Shirabu repeated dumbly. Goshiki nodded. His head rose, and Shirabu jolted back. Tears filled his junior’s eyes, heartbreak and uncertainty pouring out. “My nose started bleeding again when I got home and wouldn’t stop, so… we went to the hospital. They did blood work, ‘n my white blood cells are r-really low, so they’re worried it’s c-can-cancer.”

Shirabu blinked. Nodded. Stared at Goshiki, blank as his brain frantically tried to restart, to refind words. Goshiki just wiped his eyes and continued, voice shaking. “They want me to take a break from playing until they finish running tests ‘n stuff, and then they’ll figure out if I can keep playing, but…”

A hiccup shook his shoulders, and Goshiki doubled over. Shirabu was by his side in an instant, arms wrapped tight around the second year as quiet sobs rocked him. His face found Shirabu’s neck, his gloved fingers grabbed desperately at Shirabu’s shirt. He didn’t say a word. Just stared at the wall beyond, hollow. His world just ended. Even if it wasn’t cancer, it was something, and that meant there would be tests. He’d be benched. Wouldn’t be able to play. All that hard work, ruined in an instant. I might never get to set to him again. Or even practice, let alone play on the same court if the diagnosis was bad, or if his parents wanted him to stop playing.

“Fuck…” he whispered.

Goshiki sniffled in his ear, squeezed his shirt tight before he leaned back, eyes red-rimmed, medical mask damp. “Kenjirou,” he whispered, “I just… I really want to tell you-”

“If you’re going to tell me you like me now of all fucking times, I will end you.”

Those gray eyes scrunched up. He didn’t need to see Goshiki’s mouth to know that he was smiling, even if it was weak. And that made everything ache. Shirabu’s hands rose, somehow steady, and he curled them into the lapels of Goshiki’s jacket. He barely had to tug, just rose onto his toes and met that stupid bowl cut halfway.

It was hard to find his lips beneath the mask, but they managed, and Shirabu didn’t give a damn. He just let his eyes fall shut as he clung tighter to Goshiki’s form and pressed closer, tried to breathe him in, memorize him. The way those long fingers felt as they tangled into his face. The warmth of the mask as Goshiki’s breaths pulled out. The smell that lingered beneath the antiseptic and hospital smells, warm and sweet and like home. His eyes burned, but Shirabu swallowed the tears down as he kissed Goshiki once, twice, a dozen times, desperate.

But all too soon he dropped back, though his hands remained on Goshiki. Moved up and found their way beneath that thick scarf. His skin was warm, and he could feel the soft thump of Goshiki’s heartbeat against his fingers.

Shirabu stepped back. Cleared his throat. “You should go inform the coach. Do you want to tell the team?” Goshiki nodded, sniffed, wiped at his eyes once more. “Go on in.”

“Okay.”

Goshiki tugged the door open and stepped into the warmth of the gym once more. Shirabu didn’t move. Just watched that door clang shut and gave it another second before he slumped down, shivers finally overtaking him. He was freezing, but he could barely feel it. Couldn’t really see. Goshiki’s words echoed in his head, relentless, unforgiving. A tear slipped out and Shirabu ground his palms into his eyes. Sucked down deep breaths. Rose and re-entered the gym, head held high and shoulders squared, as though he wasn’t about to shatter into a million pieces.

#shiragoshi #goshishira #flights writes #kiss meme #haikyuu!!#Goshiki #Shirabu #aaaah i love these boys so much they make me cry #so i hope this trash was okay #i cry it probably sucks #here ya go though #Anonymous #Anon #answered

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