#it's just so ambitious it's trying so so hard and im so so proud of it for giving it its all
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so I've been going through each of the N64 games in the list I made earlier today, and writing some initial bullet points for each to help jog my memory. largely broad strokes, maybe a couple hundred words at most for any one game and then there's jet force gemini
i have a lot of words about jet force gemini. most of them are not kind words. (tho i am trying to be fair lol)
#IT'S SO DIVISIVE OOOHHGGG#it's just so ambitious it's trying so so hard and im so so proud of it for giving it its all#but the majority of the experience winds up being a miserable and frustrating and tedious sloggg#like i love it but i cannot see myself subjecting myself to it again anytime soon
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Starting a new oni save that's not a rime colony for the first time in forever and I am in agony how do y'all live like this (shaking and crying as it is forced to enter a mildly warm area for drekos)
#rat rambles#oni posting#also makes guiser taming more annoying but its ok I can manage#my main goal for this playthrough is to make more use of automation and spoms#my last one isnt necessarily being completely abandoned I just wanted to try getting off of rime for a bit#I miss the hypothermia pop ups every five seconds but on the bright side I dont have to worry abt my water supply freezing#Im also trying some other new things and just trying to be more ambitious in general#I managed to force myself to upgrade my bathrooms within the first 50 cycles are you proud of me#I also am making better use of hydro whatever farm plots for my obligatory bristleberry farm#thoroughly enjoying the lessened dupe labor even if it puts a bit more pressure on my initial water supply#I do have a steam vent and a salt water guiser nearby tho so Im not particularly worried#mainly Im just figuring out how I wanna go abt cooling it#my salt water guiser is right by a tundra biome with a cooling machine right inside it so I could attempt to use that#but from my multiple attempts to utilize that thing it's a bit hard to use for liquid cooling#I also think I might build my spom in that same biome so idk#I do have a second tundra biome thats also right next to the saltwater biome but Im trying to preserve it best I can to wildfarm sleet weat#I have also made the laziest drowning chamber I could manage and its called building my hatch ranch over my water tank#plus a critter sensory autosweeper and conveyor loader#it does overkill a lil every time it activates but its ok Im lazy enough to live with it#I also have some pacu and a crab in there so its a whole party in there#this is also going to be my first time having sanishells once I get an egg#not going to properly ranch them tho I kind of just took one to use as a trash can for my early polluted dirt#also Im glad I was able to get onto bristle berries as a primary food source quickly this time around#Im not going to go crazy expanding it for now since I have a couple other crops Im planning on getting going soon as well#mainly lettus and sleet wheat once I find some pips#then I can have early frost burgers if I want. I wont since I havent found any natural gas vents yet but y'know#speaking of oh 4 natural gass vents all near eachother on my last save how I miss you you made power so easy#on the bright side Ill have an oil biome that isn't filled with solid oil this time lol#I should rly make some actual use of oil this time around#hey who knows maybe Ill get far enough to make a sour gas boiler (lying)
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Weekly update August 16, 2024
Well so much for taking a rest week? I ended up getting a lot done! I finished and released a song, took a good bite out of a few more, and finished up a comic page! I’m also rethinking a couple project plans.
So I’ve been on Newgrounds a bunch this week, since when I went to check how my song was doing, I saw they revamped their mobile layout, and browsing is fun again, especially browsing music! I’m not one to watch many movies on the site, but I’m hoping to change that soon. After getting one song done and getting closer to finishing up some more (plus OEB still being in the back), I kinda want to get a video out. The OEB video I have planned is a bit ambitious I realize, so I might put it on hold or can it completely in favor of some simpler videos. Probably just on hold, I’ll fiddle with the storyboards I have to see how bad they really are.
For the music itself, RR is completely tuned and just needs to vocals added to the mix, BATB is done and re-mastered and everything just needs vocals, I re-mastered WOTW and decided it will need new vocals but otherwise is good to go (and will probably be my next music video choice), plus some instrumental tracks. Two now are ready to go just need visuals, which I’ll try to do this week, I’ll fiddle with after effects again for those but won’t be full videos.
Comic going well, is now 27% done. I’m hoping this weekend I’ll get to go through my paper drawings from the last few months and import all the OEB storyboards and comic panels. Im really proud of how certain effects look in the panels, since I’m trying not to overdo it but still have certain things come across. Not every panel needs to be an illustration, most don’t actually. Also been rereading through the thumbnails and man this is going to be so fun when it’s all done! I’ll try to pick up the pace!
Epithet TTRPG stuff: balancing statblocks is hard because there isn’t a ‘monster manual’ to base them on, but I’ve been doing math about it and getting a good baseline for how to do encounters. I’ve wanted to do YouTube videos to give a tutorial on how to build characters in the system, if I do, then maybe I’ll do a dming guide as well once I test the encounters.
Tomorrow I’m planning to take a bit of a rest day again, just try importing a bunch of stuff I’ve drawn traditionally. After that I’ll try to get back to comic work with some animation stuff on the side. Might do a drawing or two tonight if I’m feeling okay after plasma. Last time I bled too much and had to go on a goose chase for a second bandage though so no promises!
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i barfed words about stanza go read them (if u want)
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV, NieR: Automata (Video Game), Drag-On Dragoon | Drakengard (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Warrior of Light/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV) Characters: Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Stanza Valeflower (WoL OC), Krile Mayer Baldesion (Final Fantasy XIV) Additional Tags: Spoilers, Patch 4.0: Stormblood Spoilers (Final Fantasy XIV), Canon-Typical Violence, YoRHa: Dark Apocalypse Questline (Final Fantasy XIV), Not Beta Read, Drag-On Dragoon | Drakengard References Summary:
In that world we once knew, sharp and shattered, a single spark of memory grows to a flame. It shines upon the lost, and at last we understand. Hunger must be sated. Knowledge must be gained.
…
Lives must be protected.
~*~
Hear. Feel. Think.
These command you. You will do that. You will hear their words, and feel their feelings, and think about it. … But you also feel like watching is important to all three. You are rebuilt from the ashes of something terrible into someone new. [ A FFXIVxDrakeNieR perspective on my WoL and his WoL gf/eventual wife because… fuck it, I do what I want. ]
#reblogs;#putting this on my main bcuz im kinda proud of it idk#its the most ambitious thing ive done#i reviewed SO HARD FOR THIS#6HOUR VIDEOS PLUS CUTSCENES AND JUST#please#if you like drakenier orr ff14#yeah.#give it a try
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Was tagged in a self-love game by amazing @juuyeah and @rlbbackup !
List your top 3 favorite works you’ve done (art fics whatever u want) AND WHY :D gotta make sure to do the why👹no self deprivation here🕺Feel free to rope anybody else into this chain we gotta self lovo 🤸♀️
I don’t have much in stock since I was only actively drawing digitally for about a year, but I have some milestones here
First is… banana???
OKAY LET ME EXPLAIN before banana July 28 I had little to no experience with render and colour. I was silly. My colours were BAD. I just got something other then default brushes and I rendered these bananas to the limit. And it was indeed fun! Still proud of the way these turned out
Second one in my first finished ambitious work and is dedicated to sxf. As always - big ideas small experiences. And it took me over a whole month to finish! I was struggling endlessly with each character here and amount of render is crazy, I would change a lot here nowadays and actually maybe will redraw it someday. Like saturation levels on Anya hello??? Arms?? These poor flowers?… But I still love this one for trying and for it being associated with my first fandom memories 💖
Now I’ll talk about brand new drawing. It isn’t much of a redraw but it’s vaguely resembles concept from an old work of mine and does Tell A Lot.
First one was meant to be Halloween special that… took Oct 30 - Nov 23 lol girl slow. (Poorly censored blood because im lazy) and a fresh 4h remake next to it. Tumblr ate colours sadly since red is the most hated part of spectrum by media it seems, but I am really proud of made progress. I wasn’t able to finish first one because I was putting too much effort. And recent one is like… at least 28 times faster and DONE.
Sometimes less is more. I learnt where to spend more time and put more details and where I can save time. I wasn’t trying even twice as hard as first time and it worked! This drawing is basically “I’ve grown, I’ve learnt” with all techniques and shortcuts and an idea of what am I even doing.
As to who to tag I am not sure (few weeks late with response), so anyone actually! I would love to see what others made, so I’m tagging You - freely use me in “was tagged by”! No matter the skill personal achievements are valuable and admirable ❤️
#aaaah sorryyy it toook me looong#but a HUGE thanks for tagging me!#and also am serious about anyone participating - I like to hype others don’t be shy
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Okay I think I’m ready for an update again haha
1. Mobile app is out - it’s amazing but user acquisition is a lot harder than I thought it would be. To be fair, I’ve been lazy. I need to pay for marketing at this point but I’m also cheap.
2. ESE is dead. To us at least. Turned out that it was may more work than it was worth for us. We’d be essentially doing free labor for a while and with two kids and 5 other jobs between the 2 of us, there was just no way.
3. Our girls are perfect lol. They are both so smart, so independent, so ambitious and most importantly they’re obsessed with each other. Norah is trying so hard to communicate and Noelle is testing boundaries. Norah say mama which describes me and food. She also says baba which describes everything else 😅 but she’s so smart. She points at the things she wants and brings things to you as well as leads you to what she wants. Noelle is in the “I do it” phase; where she wants to do everything herself lol. The only thing that’s been a bit hard to get used to is Noelle walking into our room all hours of the night unannounced. I miss privacy lol.
4. I’m on the CUSP of a new job!!! I’m praying so hard that this is for me. I’ve been doing the interview process for the past 2 months now and I officially will know either tomorrow or early next week. This will be an interesting move in my career. I’m taking a SMALL step back in title but I’m gaining more in salary and at a MUCH bigger company. Fortune 20 🤫 so I’m praying very very hard for the opportunity.
In terms of the old job, it got tougher. They fired my boss and another one of her direct reports. So essentially the buck starts and ends with me and my direct report. The difference is they’re not paying me for now the even more responsibilities I own. It’s also a boys club with no diversity. I work almost exclusively with men (senior leadership-wise) and I am the only black person left. Basically I’m over it so even if the is new job doesn’t work out, I have to go.
5. The addition is happening. Very very slowly. We finally got things submitted to the city in JULY. the whole process has been so off putting. Our architect is so unhelpful and hard to work with it. Our general contractor has proven to be even worse. The city has been quick though. They rejected our plan with thorough notes so hopefully we can resubmit in the next couple of weeks. It’s honestly depressing to even talk about. The good thing is we’ve saved a little more than half of the cost of the Reno in all this time, thank God. And my husband is working towards at least 2 more bonuses outside of his normal bonus period so we are praying on that. Hopefully all will fall into place soon.
6. I had made a new friend (kind of) and then they kind of turned into a networker. I wanted to use the term “user” but that’s not entirely true. Their sole purpose is to promote themselves and their family’s businesses, which is understandable but that’s just not how I roll. I wanted a real friend. So essentially I just kind of distanced myself after they skipped my daughter’s birthday party. Idk I just don’t have time for no authenticity.
7. Exercise has been great! I’ve been consistent for most of the year only skipping a week here or there. I’m running an average of 2.5 miles each class and I’m getting stronger and faster. I’ve lost a killer amount of weight which has been a huge ego boost. However in the last month I’ve gained a little less than 10lbs. Not great but it’s for sure my diet. Im still super proud though.
That’s it for updates for now! I hope you all are well!
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(tis perfectly fine, my ace attorney soulmate)
The wip name is The Sparks of Hope That Light the Fires of Change but that is subject to change
CHARACTERS!!!
Casimir
(He/xe, 19 years old) Oldest child of the king and queen, heir to the throne. Casimir is a caring, carefree young lad; always sneaking out to go on little adventures. Some people think Casimir will be a great king, xe has proven himself to be brave, a great warrior, and most importantly kind. Others have doubts, saying that Casimir is too naive to rule.
Fletcher
(He/him, 17 years old) Second son of the king and queen, younger brother of prince Casimir and twin brother of princess Celeste. Fletcher presents himself as a perfect, gentlemanly prince; all an act, of course. In reality he is an ambitious, spoiled brat who would do anything to get what he wants.
Celeste
(He/she, 17 years old) Twin brother of prince Fletcher. Celeste is the most introverted of his siblings, funnily enough this makes her come across as stoic and well-mannered. Celeste, much like her older brother Casimir is a force to be feared on the battlefield and can often be found practicing her swordsmanship.
Alistair
(They/she/he, 21 years old) Personal knight of Prince Casimir. Alistair is a serious and stern, no-nonsense kind of fellow who joined the kingdoms military when they were only fifteen.
– – –
"a kingdom and its royal family" yes, but the people of that kingdom are suffering, and the royal family is to blame. (aka now im going to tell you about the found family group of criminals trying to take down the royal family)
Cordelia
(She/her, age unknown) A tall, elegant, intimidating woman; she is quite secretive of her past, the only thing she chooses to reveal is that she is running from the law, and will make the royal family pay for their crimes.
Rigil
(He/they, 18 years old) A kind, down to earth young man; it's often easy to forget he's a fugitive. As the oldest and first child Cordelia took in, he often takes the role of the exasperated yet protective older brother. (code for his siblings annoy him but also hed take a bullet for them and kill anyone who hurts them)
Cyrus
(He/him, 16 years old) A young boy who often shuts out the outside world, it has hurt him once and he is scared it will hurt him again. He was found by Cordelia on the streets at just twelve years old; he was scared, crying, and had a few minor injuries. He seems to have had a personal connection to the royal family at some point, however his siblings would never dare ask.
Fredge
(Any pronouns, 15 years old) Pure chaos put into the body of the closest thing this group has to a mechanic, they spend alot of time overthinking which leads to both the most insane theories youve ever heard and them actually getting things 100% correct. Shes like a middle child constantly fighting for attention, seems to think theres some deep sibling rivalry going on between xem and Cyrus to be the better older brother to Tip, Cyrus is just confused.
Tip
(She/her, 11 years old) The youngest of the group and most recently taken in by Cordelia, doesn't really talk much. The others decided the moment they saw her that they would die for her, she's just a child for fucks sake, its horrific the shit she went through at so young.
– – –
now for me to describe the plot but like kinda awfully because the english language is hard (its the only language i speak)
remember Casimir? yeah um he gets poisoned! so do the king and queen! Fletcher and Celeste fight for the throne, the kingdom falls into chaos, the found family group of criminals has a bad feeling about all of this because why kill the king, queen, and heir but leave the twins? who would even do that?
(there is so much i could say about all their relationships and the characters and just oh god im actually so proud of this)
(Alistair and Casimir are very gay for eachother btw, also Alistair blames themself for Cas's death)
im hyperfixating on one of my wips so could i present the characters and plot to you and maybeeee rant?
but of course! (though I am doing things at the moment so I might be slow to reply, but I will)
#i am so sorry for dumping all this in a reblog enne#i should've just made an intro post or something#yk what its fine
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it’s late and i’m awake so it’s thought-having time
i will say as fun as iswm is, i am really disappointed with mark’s attitude toward storytelling. this isn’t just me being butthurt about no real lore expansion or anything, but as a writer, it’s frustrating to see how he approached dropping hints when he clearly had no intention to follow through
(sorry for no cut im on mobile 💙)
like leaving clues and leads and references to a much larger narrative throughout the whole first part only to basically throw them in the garbage in the second is just poor storytelling. also his attitude of legitimately pointing and laughing at us for thinking there would be something more when HE HIMSELF made it clear in the story that THAT was where he was going?
that’s not a plot twist, that’s just... pointless. and it’s even kind of mean, if i am completely honest - it makes the audience feel stupid for picking up on the very clues that you laid out, sir. what is the point of making the references if you didn’t wanna do anything with them? just to bait and switch us? cause it’s… funny???? what about just WRITING A STORY that you’re proud of!!
now this isn’t me saying that everything mark does needs to be about THE LOOOOORE - first of all, wkm and the plot/characters/references are HIS he can do as much or as little as he wants with them!
he should ALSO be allowed to do entirely different projects without everyone roping them into a grander narrative, too. i cannot imagine the kind of pressure or expectation i’d feel if everyone was only paying attention to what i made if it was in one specific little universe or storyline - mark deserves to create as he chooses without us demanding it be a certain way.
that being said. a basic tenant of writing is following through. if you’re gonna reference a bigger frame narrative, you gotta DO something with that! what, you just lied about what was apparently a major guiding plot point??
it’s just kinda disappointing and doesn’t totally make sense why references are there in the first place. in fact, they kinda detract from the story of space itself, if they go nowhere. sure, he explains that these are all echoes of that story reoccurring in this universe because everything’s gone pear-shaped — but why is it echoing in the first place? why does that story echo so much LOUDER than any other, that it bleeds through so strongly? not making these references (if he wasn’t going to explain them in-story) would have left wayyyyyy more room for the plot of space to breathe, to more clearly reveal the paradox as it unfolded, and to give the payoff at the end that resolving it deserved. i mean, hell, if anyone noticed that our cryopod screen at the very end said INVINCIBLE and not INVINCIBLE II, i will eat my hat. there’s not even a frame-perfect look at the screen! there’s no room for the fact we ACTUALLY FIXED the paradox we weren’t truly aware of until the very end to really land!
anyway. i think i just mostly feel like that space was super ambitious, and really impressive in what it tried to weave together. mark tried to balance lore references to feed the audience he’s cultivated while ALSO trying to do something much larger and grander. unfortunately, he ended up kind of hamstringing telling a new story by focusing too much on the old. which ends up making both, ultimately, kind of unsatisfying. i’m just gonna say… you shouldn’t have to do a massive explainer video for the plot of your movie a week after it airs - people should largely understand the story watching it the first or second time through. it can still be convoluted and as complicated as the bootstrap paradox is, but it won’t ultimately hit home as hard as it could if you don’t set it up and pay it off pretty carefully
and one last time - this isn’t to say mark SHOULDN’T have tried to rope the lore in. hell, it has super fun implications for the grand scheme of things (WHY is this story echoing so massively through the multiverse that randos end up repeating its hallmarks?). it ALSO isn’t to say that anyone who enjoyed it is wrong or dumb or anything like that. i loved it a lot!!
but, personally, the way it ended up was unsatisfying, and personally, laughing at your audience for thinking you were going to do the very thing you really obviously set up to do is just weak storytelling at best and insulting to your audience’s intelligence at worst
tldr love space a lot, its own story is SUPER COOL but because of the lore going nowhere, it’s got some hella weak spots and mark’s attitude toward them rubs me the wrong way
#do i dare to tag this#yeah I’m gonna do it fuck it#markiplier#in space with markiplier#in space with markiplier part 2#iswm#iswm 2#pls fandom don’t let me regret this#ramblings
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Heyy can i get a demon slayer matchup? I'm aquarius (idk if you like typology but if u do then im Intp 5w6) I'm a fellow art student with light insomnia who likes to read and write, i also like poetry and horror / crime stories. I'm huge fan of videogames and music. Anyways i dont have any preference and thank u for ur time.
I’d match you with…Shinobu!🦋💕
Platonic or romantic
You and Shinobu would vide so hard. Shinobu would really enjoy your company. As a hard worker herself she’d admire the ambitious aspects of your 5w6 personality. You two would have a very harmonious relationship. Understanding parts of each other that others may not.
Anything you make for her she will keep and cherish deeply. She would even display some of your work in the butterfly mansion's recovery rooms.
"What a beautiful painting, Ms. Shinobu! ”
“Isn't it? That's the work of my favorite artist.”
She would be very persistent about helping you sleep, giving you special tea or supplements. Art can be stressful. So she tries to burn calming incense when you're around.
Shinobu rarely has free time. But when she does she'll try to sit down and read. If you want to share something with her, you've written. She would be happy to read it.
And if you two happen to find yourselves outside the butterfly mansion on a warm night reading poetry. She might just fall deeply in love with you. She would be very proud of having you in her life. And very protective as well, fearing something bad could happen to you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I also think Yushiro would totally crush on you 🤭
Yushiro Romantically
You both share a love of painting. Unlike how shinobu sees you eye to eye. Yushiro sees you from a more outside perspective. He as well would admire your personality. Finding it very beautiful. As well as your intelligence and love of the arts, graceful. Wanting to know what goes on in your head.
He would reach for your attention constantly. Being recognized by you would give him a feeling of worthiness.
#demon slayer#Shinobu#shinobu kochō#Yashiro#Matchups#demon slayer matchup#demon slayer shinobu#hashira shinobu#x reader
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What art are you most proud of? And please show us a pic if you can! <3
Not gonna lie, this was actually p hard to answer. I’m honestly proud of any piece I get done, especially any full body, full color, full background pieces, and I refuse to let myself out-right hate anything that I draw in general now-a-days, unfinished or no. I draw for fun, always have, so I try not to put too much worry on how good something looks so long as it gets my idea across in a way that I like, or that I tried?? (And ik being proud of a piece doesnt have to tie into what the end result looks like, im just covering that base) I looked through all of my recent digital art on my ipad(that i’ve had what, 3-4 years at this point?) and found myself about just as happy with each finished piece-
-Except one. There is one piece that I forget about constantly but I’m honestly super proud of the amount of effort it had put in to reach the end result. It probably sees a number of glances infrequently(due to my sporatic activity on said blog) but isnt posted to this blog’s art tag.
It’s the blog banner I drew for my @thelostguardianau fic, of the(at the time) whole cast in the au. You can find the post to reblog it from here but i’m also adding it below for reference. (* and honestly I’ll mention every other art piece in this au posted to it’s blog stands at having this same proudness, as each individual characters complicated design fed into this big banner, each one having a giant set of uniquely drawn wings, complex body markings, and unique clothing and features. And I would not have been able to complete this banner without having those singular character chart pieces finished first, except for Thomas’s design, who has yet to be posted for ✨reasons✨)
This fricking Banner was and still is(for now, *wink*) the most ambitious piece I’ve managed to finish. It took me so long, my wrist hated me, my ipad hated me, my ipencil hated me, medibang hated me, this piece pushed the limits of the poor app. Every time I try and open this piece up on the app it takes a solid couple seconds to open, save, and close.
From sketching to lining every single character, to having to uniquely match up Their Wing Sizes and Heights, because Guardians are fucking Tall, so Wing size and Height size was hell to calculate and portray. Why, you might ask?
Because I was limited to the proportions that would actually fit into a tumblr mobile banner. Which, funfact, is much smaller than you’d think!
I had to make sure they’d all fit, wings and all. And they didnt fcking want to. But I made it fit, because I wanted a full body + wings cast banner and goddamn it that was going to happen. And I did. And I lost a fuck-off amount of detail-space for it.
Coloring it wasn’t exactly difficult, but I will once again point back to this app hating this piece and it draining my battery because of it. I work in layers. My lineart will have 5-6 different layers in color before I combine them and set the hue to black, but I still keep my lineart seperate in that each character has their own lineart, and the background lineart is seperate.
I had their lineart, and probably still do, seperated into Seven different layers, one per character, each one w/ an extra masking layer for their wing glow. Each character got their own folder for colors, and had multiple layers for each colored section: clothing, skin, skin blush + eye whites, hair, wings, body markings, marking glow. And then there was the background layers, and the glowing affects, ect. The whole piece stands at having about 80 total layers having been used over the course of making it.
So yeah, Medibang does not like this piece when I try to open it. xD
But really, setting aside fighting and babying technology thats being pushed close to its limit, the real pride comes from the fact that this piece has Seven fully colored, near-full body characters drawn, all touching and interacting and accurate to the scale that I made. It is the most amount of characters in one piece that I’ve ever drawn, colored, and finished, and I’m pretty fricken proud of it.
Which makes it all the more daunting that said banner is going to get an upgrade, because it’s a Character Cast Banner after all, and its going to have four more fully designed and full winged characters added into it.
And by upgrade, I mean I get to redraw the whole dang thing. Because I gotta rearrange ✨everyone’s✨ positions. And at this point, the only way thats possible is by starting over.
wish me luck on that. o_o;
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04/23/2022
The past months has been a blur, it was rejection to another it got me really exhausted. when you're really trying so hard to build from scraps of the broken pieces the world has left you. when you don't recognise the girl you worked so hard to rebuilt in for the past 2 years before life ''happened'' it would really question the inner core of your being on What are u made of? and who are you? it's like giving birth to my self again, a painful reincarnation. I missed my ambitious, full of optimism self before the world steal it but i also love the my current self where I've been forced to discover my boundaries and implement it, on how i looked at the dynamics of what friendship is like, putting yourself first, recognising toxic behavior from people and how to protect my self. I would just really have to apologise for almost giving up on myself, my feelings, my sadness, my exhaustion was valid. if you put on a girl with a pure heart and give her hell of situations no one can ever imagine. you woudn't expect her to come up, unscathed and have a perfect opimistc view of the world. those fucked up situations gave me overthinking, anxiety, trust issues, broken self esteem and self value, negative self talk, waking up in the morning with heart racing and he feeling of being unsafe, i also have the fear of the future, i don't know what i want and what would i pursue first.
i gave myself time. time to breathe and think of what i want. time to re evaluate on where i am and the next steps ill take.
Dear self, I am sorry for all the things that you've went through, no one could ever imagine or feel what it really feels like to be in your situation having dealt with fam toxicity, broken trust and friendships, hell of bad thing to another, living alone with depression and loneliness, trying to navigate life on your own, physical illness, guil tripping, long exhaustion of work and monotonous routine. no one fucking deserves that. i mean no one. i can't blame how broken you view life right now is but after going through awful shit and im sure more of it will come to the future. don't you think u deserve some glimpse of light? of peace? youve given the challenge the pain but also we can deny there are lessons that comes with it. you just have the take a good look on the scars with brave eyes, let go of the shame and instead you should be proud of yourself.
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a miscellaneous collection of jokes cut from AA Batteries
none of these snippets are meaty enough to warrant their own post, so i'll just group them all here!
this mostly scenes and jokes that don't really go anywhere.
1. The Joke I've Been Trying To Shove In Since Chapter 3
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard all week, and I’ve heard Kuramochi-senpai claim that Eijun has a girlfriend,” Akira snaps.
2. The Deleted Introspective Chicken Monologue
The first time Akira saw Narumiya Mei pitch, way back in the beginning of the summer, he was inexplicably reminded of their neighbor’s chicken coop.
“What?” Haruichi asked, when Akira voiced his observation.
“Loud,” Akira had explained. “And kind of terrifying?”
“You’re talking about chickens, right? The things that lay eggs and cluck around all day?”
“Obviously, you’ve never been chased by a flock of angry chickens.”
Kominato Haruichi, born and raised in the suburbs of Kanagawa Prefecture, didn’t seem to fully appreciate the comparison, but at least he tried to.
“In that case,” he’d said, struggling to grasp the metaphor, “Eijun is kind of like a flock of chickens too, right?”
“No, it’s —” Akira huffed. “Chickens don’t care. All they do is eat and poop. There’s nothing but violence going on in their heads. That’s what he reminds me of.”
“That’s kind of a strong opinion to have on a person you’ve never met,” Haruichi said.
“Oh, I don’t know what he’s like as a person,” Akira said with a shrug. “But as a player, he seems rather bloodthirsty.”
Akira had never caught for a pitcher like that. Eijun was Eijun, and Furuya was Furuya, and Nori-senpai and Tanba-senpai were themselves. But Naruimiya Mei seemed like another beast entirely — ambitious and fierce and proud, complete with the skill to back it up. He’d asked Miyuki-senpai about it later, and even though he’d barely answered, he’d gotten enough information to confirm his suspicions.
But it wasn’t until weeks later, after everything, that he’d been able to truly appreciate the danger of Narumiya Mei.
They were sitting in the stands, just after beating Sensen Academy, watching Inajitsu play Sakurazawa. Eijun had been sitting next to him, and they’d watched the game with wide eyes.
“I want to catch that knuckleball,” Akira said, upon seeing Sakurazawa’s ace.
“Of course you do,” Eijun laughed. He elbowed him in the side. “I bet you’d have been a knuckleballer if you were a pitcher. He even has the same name as you.”
“Maybe,” Akira shrugged. He lowered his voice so that the senpai couldn’t overhear. “I know they want revenge, but I’m kind of rooting for Sakurazawa.”
“Public school representation,” Eijun agreed.
But it wasn’t to be. Slowly, steadily, Inashiro Industrial had worn away at the ground under Sakurazawa’s feet. It was the first time Akira had witnessed such offensive defense.
It wasn’t like Eijun, spirited and fearless. Narumiya Mei’s pitching was insidiously perfect, a wall that couldn’t be overcome, a light so bright that it scared you away into the shadows. He was loud, like Eijun, and he was tricky, like Eijun, but Narumiya Mei just felt different.
Like he wasn’t looking at you. Like he had bigger giants to slay.
Inajitsu won, and Seidou’s baseball team boarded their bus and headed back to campus, and Akira took a nap.
Later, that same day, he would fight with his brother. He wasn’t thinking of Narumiya, then, but he would think of him later.
Eijun’s stronger than that, he told himself, after letting Miyuki Kazuya run out and chase down Eijun. He obviously doesn’t need me. He won’t break. Not for baseball.
But Narumiya Mei was an opponent he’d never faced before. Fierce, violent, and out for blood. Like a chicken, as stupid as that sounded.
Sometimes, it’s the stupid things that you have to look out for.
3. The Akagi Team Group Chat
“Where’s my phone? I have to tell everyone that we won.”
“Oh, use mine,” Eijun says, and he holds out his phone. “That way Wakana won’t get mad at me for not checking in.”
Akira rolls his eyes, but unlocks Eijun’s phone anyway and opens up the Akagi group chat.
!!!!! GUYS WE WNON A GAME IM LOSING MY MIND
eyyyyyy noice
Congrats, Eijun!
aki is that you? tell your brother to stop being a coward and respond to my messages
wtf wakana how did you know
ei only messages first when he finishes a manga and wants seiichi to write fanfic for it
Eijun rips his phone out of Akira’s hands.
I DO NOT????/?
hi ei, stop being a coward and respond to my messages
4. Teenagers are Idiots
Akira hovers in the first-years’ conversation, occasionally chiming in. It’s not until they’re halfway to the parking lot that reality finally hits.
“Holy crap!” Akira exclaims, nearly walking into a pole. Luckily, Kanemaru catches him by his windbreaker before he can bruise his face.
“You good?” He asks, lifting an eyebrow.
“We just played baseball,” Akira says, instead of answering the question.
“Why are you like this?”
“We just played baseball!” Akira repeats, still disbelieving. He swivels around and grabs Eijun’s sleeve. “Ei, slap me!”
Eijun doesn’t hesitate. He slaps him so hard that Akira almost falls over.
“Ow! That hurt!”
Toujou snickers while Kanemaru grimaces.
“What did you think would happen?”
“I don’t know?” Akira says. “Oh my god, it’s been so long since I’ve played in a real game! I think I’m high on adrenaline!”
Kanemaru looks at him incredulously. “Who are you?”
“Oh, no,” Eijun says, groaning. “I forgot about this part. Akira, you’re going to crash so hard later.”
Akira laughs. “Pfft, this isn’t middle school anymore, I’m fine! We just shut down Teitou High! I’m invincible!”
_
The next thing he remembers is Eijun shaking him awake.
“Go away,” Akira grumbles. “Leave me alone to die.”
5. EijunxTire OTP
“Your fielding sucks too, dumbass,” Miyuki reminds him. “And take that thing off. This is a warm-up jog, you’re going to strain yourself.”
“No need!” Eijun announces. “During my banishment, I spent several weeks in the company of my beloved tire! We have a bond that goes beyond that of an athlete and his training tool! This is nothing!”
“Sawamura!” Coach Kataoka yells from across the field. “This is a warm-up! Take the tire off!”
Eijun stiffens. “Yes, boss!” He yells back, and he stops to untie the tire.
#lazuli writes#they are so dumb#I'M SO SAD THAT I HAD TO DELETE THE 'SLAP ME' JOKE#it's probably SUPER obvious but i love slapstick#aa batteries dna
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Also I saw that you're into hp too, I'd like to request a hq x hp crossover please! Relationship hcs of kuroo, osamu and semi (separately) with a slytherin s/o? + bonus if there are suggestive hcs as well. I personally hc kuroo to be a fellow slytherin so I'd really appreciate it if you could assign slytherin for him! I'll leave osamu's and semi's houses to you ^^ thanks again!
ahhh this request made me so excited !! funnily enough I hc slytherin for all these babes🙈im one myself haha let's go🐍🐍🐍 this isn’t late shh
warnings: suggestive situations/language, alcohol (firewhiskey?? & substances)
Kuroo, Osamu, & Semi with a Slytherin s/o HP! AU
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫
Kuroo Tetsurou
he’s an example of a great slytherin leader
definitely a prefect/head boy, quidditch captain, and is in like 3 clubs. you bet he’s a favorite among professors too
he’s the stereotypical slytherin that’s good at potions, but it’s not bc he’s a slytherin it’s bc he’s an actual nerd (chemistry nerd? try potions nerd)
and he’s just generally smart and good in his classes
and so are you :) a prefect too
in fact, you’re quite popular with all the houses and the professors. most people wouldn’t guess that your slytherin based on stereotypes
Kuroo, however, recognizes what you’re really doing: creating a network for yourself, and he respects it, but he will mess with you
you actually become friends with Kenma first, knowing he’s very intelligent, which is how he hears about you other than seeing you in passing in the common room and your shared classes
the first time he speaks to you is in potions class and brings up Kenma as a common point, and continues just charming his way through the conversation
he’s just too nice. but there’s little hints of provocation in there too
so you make things fun and flirt back, but play innocent hard to get
the whole time before he actually asks you out is this back and forth witty banter and flirting that drives everyone crazy
which by the way, he keeps dropping hints that you’re going to have to ask first, but when you finally crack and start to he asks instead, making you flustered (which was his goal the whole time)
can i just say: power couple
y’all are just popular and no one knows why really?? you’re just hard to hate. it’s allll jealousy
you’re also the parents of the slytherins too. you keep em in line but also have no issue standing up to anyone
and trust me, no one wants to mess with you two. you have respect for more than one reason, and knowing a nasty hex or two is def one of them
that network i was talking about? comes in handy all the time
he’ll casually mention a specific kind of root he needs for a potion he wants to try in his extracurricular potion lessons (yes he’s that person) and you just go:
“oh Richard has a friend in ravenclaw who’s got a cousin working at a shop in Hogsmeade that gets those regularly. want me to ask?”
he’s good at getting away with his shenanigans. usually. you always catch him and never let him live it down
when he acts all cocky you know just what to say to knock him down a few pegs, or flirt up a storm that makes everyone around you gag at the sexual tension
“yes captain”
honestly, it feels like you’re the only ones who know the other completely, save for Kenma with Kuroo
he’s the type that will cast orchideous when he sees you by yourself and make flowers grow next to you before walking up and revealing himself aw <3
other students would rather hug the giant squid than get in a debate with you two, especially if you’re together. they’re feelings and egos will be permanently scarred
more pda than other slytherin x slytherin relationships. you’re not afraid to show that you belong to each other
it’ll be something like an arm around your shoulder or a kiss on the cheek as a greeting (it’s still subtle)
however,,
more than one occasion he’ll come up behind you while you’re working in the library and massage your shoulders while kissing your neck and whispering some suggestions into your ear
it looks very innocent from an outside perspective, but he makes it so hard to concentrate with his hot breath on your skin
and did i mention you’re both prefects? wow do you abuse your privilege sometimes
what’s more exciting than getting a little action in a dark secluded part of the castle by torchlight during your nightly rounds?
need i mention the bath? steamy.. Myrtle’s a blabbermouth too, so the other prefects know what’s up. but really, are they gonna stop you?
not always, of course. shared baths are some of the best times to have real talk and deep conversations
100% supportive of each other and will take over the world one day, we love to see it
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫
Miya Osamu
the temptation to just make him from Durmstrang-
***i just know people will fight me for sorting him into Slytherin. it’s true that he fits in others but he’s flexible, so i stuck him here for now. i already admitted he was a hat stall calm down.
ANYWAYS
Osamu’s career as a Hogwarts student is made up of 2 things: quidditch and a secret snack and substance smuggling ring he started in his second year
the Miya twins have a reputation with quidditch just like with volleyball (Osamu is a chaser, Atsumu is a beater. great team)
(i imagine they’re pureblood too, not rlly important though. if you’re half/muggleborn, enjoy teaching his clueless ass about basic muggle society)
you’re another proud and competitive slytherin, who somehow has dirt on anyone and everyone
you’re on the quidditch team too, even better. that’s where you grow close to the twins at first, making you guys a power trio in your own right. quidditch dream team <3
not only do you spend a lot of time together, getting to know each other intimately as teammates (beyond the facades) and allowing his feelings to grow slowly yet surely, but Atsumu is also there to provoke and make Osamu subconsciously jealous when he gets feelings
you’re great at talking Atsumu in circles, which frustrates him and amuses Osamu
(more than once the twins have gotten into pseudo-duels and nearly burned the quidditch stands to the ground. lucky your common room is in a stone dungeon omfg)
you obv know about his snack business, initiating a bit of blackmail to get him to do favors for you, but all in good fun. eventually one of those favors is a date ;)
it’s a quiet relationship, not an in-your-face one, but no one can deny the chemistry,, it’s almost suffocating itself
he’d messed around a little, but they never lasted more than a week. so when he realized you’d hit the month mark he was (internally) “oh shit”
you go on Hogsmeade dates all the time <3 he actually laughs when you get a butterbeer foam mustache. it was an accident the first time, now you do it on purpose ;)
you become a business partner for his smuggling ring. your blackmail means you’ve got lots of people under your thumb and lots of favors available to call in. he also trusts your judgement
fangirls are always jealous, but merlin help them if they confront you. if they’re lucky you’ll roll your eyes and ignore them, but usually you’ll decimate them with words and leave them in the dust. you also know how to hex and get away with it (just blame someone else duh)
yeah rumors happen and it’s annoying, bc you really don’t need people staring at you all the time, but neither you or Osamu even address it
both of you are invited to Slughorn’s parties along with Atsumu, you’re that couple
you’re staring someone down and he comes from behind and snakes (ha) his arms around your waist, glaring at them over your shoulder. 11/10 terrifying
sitting in the courtyard talking to your friends, your head on his lap while he plays with your hair
sneaking into the kitchens together. once you tried some cooking charms and the next day everyone’s eggs were neon green at breakfast...oops?
holding hands while you walk through the hallways and the crowd parts around you
Atsumu is secretly bitter his brother has such a cool s/o and he has yet to have a serious relationship, so he’ll bother & tease the two of you a lot to cope smh
though you don’t show it in public and often give off a tough front instead, behind closed doors you’re actually very loving and committed to one another
favorite places for ~special~ time? quidditch locker room & your dorm
you find excuses to stay behind after practice together. your teammates used to think it was just a coincidence until they finally caught on (not that they’d tattle. if you get caught that’s your business)
imo Osamu would probably be willing to try involving charms in some way during sexy times. a spark on your skin, binding, whatever. most of them are one-offs but it’s the thought that counts ig
there’s an unspoken rule in the slytherin boys dorm to stick a drooble’s gum wrapper on the door of the dorm to tell the others to stay out, but Osamu doesn’t trust anyone so he prefers hanging out in your room. it’s quieter and your roommates know not to try anything <3
he smuggles in some firewhiskey and other stuffs for you two to enjoy by yourselves <3
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫
Semi Eita
(debated with gryffindor for him, but ultimately decided nahh)
Semi is less of the sly and underhanded slytherin and more of the ambitious and self-assured kind
idk why, but i’m feeling a love-hate to friendly competition to friends to lovers ?? don’t ask ajsldkf
you’re a top student, mostly bc of your charm though. no one knows if your good grades are real (they are, but it doesn’t hurt being the teacher’s favorite)
though you hop around friend circles, you don’t have a solid group. sort of an outcast in that way
he knows you exist, but no one really expects much from you. aha, big mistake
every single time you sweep everyone in classes, one way or another, you come out on top (hey i won’t question your methods) and oh does it piss him off. you’ve hit a competitive nerve my friend,, little bit of envy too :/
he confronts you, but you evade, maybe with a little challenge or provocation
from then on it’s just little jabs at each other. he corrects your stirring technique. you return the favor in transfiguration with his wrist motion
you two are the definition of “are you flirting or starting a fight?”
he ends up partnering with you in potions, just to see your tricks up close i swear. he didn’t realize that meant he’d see different sides of you when you study. the way you mingle with everyone intrigues and fascinates him, and slowly curiosity takes the place of spite
he saw you prank a gryffindor into drinking babbling beverage, and it was the first time he saw a genuine smile from you (even if it was a little malicious)
slowly your relationship shifts as you learn more about each other. you’re more than a suspected cheater and he’s more than a hotheaded jock
you two are the definition of “are you flirting or starting a fight?”
both of you are super super stubborn and too proud to admit feelings for each other sigh, cue slytherin bff tendou to the rescue. count on him for some elaborate scheme to finally get you two together. thank god
once you are together, you’re inseparable
you send each other messages on paper birds charmed to fly to the other, wherever they are. it’s gotten you in trouble a few times (Snape will read them out loud, just bc you’re slytherin doesn’t mean you’re spared embarrassment)
you are in charge of his outfits if you ever go on casual dates to Hogsmeade. sorry eita it’s not a debate <3
he’s super fcking protective, and has a bit of a jealous streak. scary when irritated, but no more than you are
most loyal freaking couple ever though
you’ll have heated debates with each other that from the outside look like you’re fighting but five minutes later you’re chilled out on the common room couch reading a book together, him reading over your shoulder as you sit between his legs
deep conversations late at night in the common room, watching the giant squid & cuddling by the fireplace
love talking about your dreams and aspirations, joking about taking over the world together <3
though it takes some convincing for him on your part, you’re great at sneaking out and not getting caught. you know the secret passages like the back of your hand thanks to being stuck in the dungeons, and like hell rules are going to keep you from enjoying what you want
Hogsmeade, down by the black lake/boathouse at night, and your favorite spot, the astronomy tower <3
you’ll go up there at night, casting sparks from your wand that decorate the air like hovering stars, and just enjoy the beauty of magic and each other
the first time you were almost caught, you ended up in a snug secret passage, and that was your first kiss
sometimes you’re almost caught and then it’s a nice flashback to that time
low on pda outside of holding hands, but get a little firewhiskey and you’re all over each other
late night study sessions in the library that often turn into makeout sessions when you’re finally alone what can i say, the possibility of getting caught is exciting
a big part of your relationship is impressing and inspiring each other every day. you understand each others’ passions and habits, and you’re constantly keeping each other in check while also pushing yourselves to be better (tbh top tier slytherin x slytherin dynamic)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫
a/n: anyone want a fic out of these?? omfg please send more harry potter or au in general
#sorry this took so long i wanted it to be good#kuroo tetsuro#miya osamu#semi eita#kuroo tetsuro x reader#miya osamu x reader#semi eita x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu scenario#haikyuu harry potter#harry potter au#kuroo x reader#osamu x reader#semi x reader
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Helllooo !! May i have a ship with The Boyz, Treasure abs Enhypen ? To start off idk if this will change anything but I’m an INTJ and a cancer with a raising Leo. I got a lot of fire in my chart and it shows through my personality pretty well. I’m very athletic, I play indoor club volleyball and beach volleyball ! I’m very competitive and aggressive 😭 I’m also highly opinionated which doesn’t end well, once I have an opinion it sticks awhile and I argue a lot. Probably one of the most argumentative people you will meet, and although I hate to admit it I have anger issues 🙃 when I’m not angry (which isn’t often) I’m usually pretty energetic/loud and my friends find me hilarious. Idk how but people always be laughing at me and what I say. I’m very serious but also not serious at all, depends. I think I’m pretty mature compared to most people 😐 I am also very very ambitious and only care about my future which makes me come off as selfish and self centered but I’ll do anything if that means it’ll benefit me in the future. I literally plan everything... I wish I was kidding. I’m a huge ambivert but I deff like being alone and feed off of alone time. Too much social activity wears me out and pisses me off. Other then that I’m pretty friendly and direct so I can make friends easily unless I’m intimidated. I make friends fast but im very quiet with new people but open up and I’m loud asf. I’m more on the confidant side as well. I’m really interested in art, music, sports, reading and writing. Pretty basic Ik. But man art is just... so beautiful it’s so intriguing. And music.. I can not live without it ! Alrighty I hope this was enough information and is good !! Thank you sm and I hope you liked ur ship I gave you :)
Hiii!! Thank so much for requesting!! And I loved the one you gave you are great doing ships! I hope you like yours!! :))
The Boyz:
I ship you with...
Hyunjae
He enjoys playing sports
He will 100% go to everyone if your games and support you(your fanboy)☺️
Virgo and Cancer and very compatible!!
Extroverts and Introverts are good together!
Hyunjae himself is kinda competitive as well but sometimes that can lead to augments(they never end super bad though)🙂
I think Hyunjae loves how mature you are but likes how you also know how to have fun and be silly 😁
He admires how goal focused you are
I feel like at night you guys could just lay there not say anything and it would be comfortable😇
Museum dates are a must(you get ice cream after because Hyunjae wanted it)😋
He is the clingiest member so expect hugs and cuddles from him🥺
In general you and Hyunjae have a very cute and understanding relationship🥰
Treasure:
I ship you with...
Yedam
Trust me
Yedam will always support you at your volleyball games😊
Cancer and Taurus are somewhat compatible
He is the sweetest😍
I think he balances out your competitiveness and your quote on quote anger issues lol😁
Yedam seems very goal oriented as well and I think he is very proud of you for what your doing for yourself 😚
He will praise you every time you accomplish a goal you have🙂
Yedam is also an introvert so stay at home dates are the best with him🥰
He is so inspired by you
Would try to make you art pieces for gifts but they don’t always end up the best(promise you will always love them)🥺
In general Yedam is the other half that you need, you complete each other😘😭
Enhypen:
I ship you with...
Heeseung
Heeseung has worked really hard for his career and I think he would do anything to support you in your goals🥺
Heeseung enjoys playing games so I think Saturday game nights are a must between you guys(sometimes the games get a little intense because of your competitiveness)🤣
Heeseung is a creative person so I think he would enjoy going to Art museums and going to those places where you paint pottery(I hope you get what I’m saying)😇
You guys definitely have a lot of fun together
I feel like if you needed space cause you wanted to be alone he would give it to you
I feel like he would find it cute how different you are with him compared to out in public(he loves how you can be yourself)☺️
In general you and Heeseung are the cutest together🥰
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Hey Swettie 🙃 I don't know if you take request but, if you did, can I please get astrology ship with ateez/straykids? Im taurus sun, leo moon, pisces sun, aries venus, aquarius mars and taurus mercury. Thank you soo much and have a wonderful day💛
(Top right picture: "I’ll love the genuine things, the truth, the real feelings, and myself" )
Hiii, first I’ll do Ateez since currently two ships request in one ask is a bit much for me. Here’s your analysis of your placements~ (You can request for straykids when I reopen my ship asks if you want) Okay so you have taurus sun with pisces moon and leo rising after clarification of your placements, and wow can i just say u must be quite the lovable pretty human being 🥺. Taurus sun you are grounded and there is an inherent desire for productivity or routinely manner when you implement your efforts such as your blog managing for example, I notice you consistently or do a bundle or a bunch of asks for the moodboards and then post them all at the same time or in a frequent but not everyday manner. Your work ethic is quite admirable and it also partially stems from your leo rising, these natives with this placement are quite active with their individual interests and opinions/goals, working silently hard or loyal towards their objective. And then your pisces moon allows you to be able to interpret emotions and feelings in different ways, the tangible and untangible. It also makes sense how well put your moodboards are and how accurate they are with the embodied moods :3. Your pisces moon is able to discern these emotions or vibes and they can channel this at time in numerous ways, creatively, to help others in a therapeutic way, and etc. Aslo with your placements general, you may be friendly or very down-to earth to others, empathic (like an empathic listener for example) and friendly but also have quite solid self individuality and well balanced management of your personal and other needs. But I only got to half of your placements 💖✨ I’ll talk about your taurus mercury and aries venus now.
Woah see here is where your individuality could be more heightened. With taurus mercury, you are not afraid to say your honest opinions, rather it would be better or the only option to hear the truth or genuine thoughts than shield with only pretentious superficial words of comforts, ofc you genuinely want the best for ur loved ones and all, and comfort and support is natural, however filtering the reality from your friend is only going to hurt them than rather benefit them so. You’re quite blunt but in a subtle way, its not like you want to let others know you are a blunt and honest person before convo, but simply they realized this fact afterwards. Your aries venus is also quite bold or affectionate, your physical expression of love or care for friends and partner/family etc is warm and obvious to them. These natives with their venus in aries can get their emotions quite strongly at times to their important ones, you sorta give me a love warrior goddess sorta vibe but more controlled/calm. You love with sincerity and passion, but also try to not lose yourself for others. You have aquarius mars oooh, you strive for new and mental stimulating ideas or topics that you are interested in, this could range from hobbies or crafts that involve your interests. Your aquarius mars can be quite fixated as the sign aquarius is also a fixed sign (the modality is a fixed sign) so you may consistently work in your field of interests, but sometimes you try not to put heavy pressure on yourself too much to reach your goals as your motivations are consistent but you aren’t rushing yourself too much, preferring to work at ur own pace becuz u will get there~
In Ateez... your match is san!
Omgg san has a cancer sun with taurus moon, he has water and earth in his sun and moon similar to yours, and with him having the same sign in his moon as your sun (Taurus). There is an immediate emotional understanding, and easier opening up to each other. Idk why but San and you have such similar dynamics, you both would be the warmest and down to earth chaotic pair?? San with his cancer sun is always ready to help and pours his heart into everything, his love for his members and fans, and passion when dancing lol. (Satanic san~) Your pisces moon would feel comforted and safe with his cancer sun, as you seek for someone to not judge your emotional vulnerability/sensitivity and San being consoling and having a non-judgemental soothe to him, bingo. You both would have similar beliefs and point of view at times, which would relate to an immediate click. The first time you met each other, it was like two fireflies flickering towards each other. You weren’t close to him at first, but you were aware of his presence from the first encounter, and soon you both planned subtley how to approach each other more often~
Alright a delve at his taurus moon, San is loyal, self-consistent to his ideals and perspectives, and more inclined to familiarity. With his taurus moon, San is always ready to be there for his members, family, and close ones. He is also a bit solidified in his own goals and self views, sometimes not wavering from ofher opinions till he sees proven true. I can say that with your taurus sun, you would appreciate his grounded ways and calm but warm nature. Your pisces moon connects well with his cancer sun, as both are water signs and have a easier time reciprocating and processing emotions. (So San can easily comfort you when you may be feeling down or experiencing emotional turmoil, he may know what to say or do when comforting like hugs or soothing affirmations, it’s everything the opposite of awkwardness) I think San may find your softness and sensitivity cute and understanding, that you can also be an ambitious or strong individual but also have a soft spot.
Next up San has a leo mercury, and here’s where his chaotic energy will be talked about lol. San is obviously the opposite of calmness when he is naturally having fun and interacting with his members by being himself, he is quite creative and a loud eye-catching speaker. (You don’t need to be told twice he’s probs a living speaker in the dorms wildin) San’s way of communicating may be a little different from your taurus mercury, as your placement tones are more focused on maintaining a calm and chill vibe, while San could be too hyper at times. However, your aries venus would definitely appreciate his energetic actions and manner, both having fun engaging activities. Also San’s mercury in leo and your taurus mercury are similar in a sense they both are vocal or stand clear to their opinions and views. You both won’t hesitate to be honest and there will be better mutual trust becuz of this. And despite different perspectives at times, you both may find the other point of view interesting and it may not lead to frequent altercations and more of enlightening banter.
(This gif summarizes sorta a leo venus being overdramatic of their s/o in a loving manner or complimenting them lol, and its basically san)
And what do we have here, San’s venus is in leo also :> Leo says we meet again~ His way of showing affection can be more physical and expressive, he is definitely proud of his partner/s/o and will shower them with compliments. Venus in leo’s love are genuine and very deep, and with your aries venus (both signs in venus are fire) you definitely love the physical interaction and display of affection from San. Similarly, once close and in a relationship you aren’t shy from showing your love, sometimes you may be flirty or surprise-hug (or other skinship) San. Dates will be fun and probably have high-tension like you both are clearly enjoying the time together (ngl it might seem obvious to others in the same location as your date that you two are rlly lovey-dovey with each other) That being said you both always lift each other up, whether in terms of mood or personal feelings like insecurity at times or nervousness, you two could be each others number one supporter. His leo venus (and his mercury in leo) are opposite to your aquarius mars so there may be conflict or a clash between differing actions/methods and beliefs, but nonetheless you both end up learning from a wider point of view with each other and find the differences intriguing. (Also notably his leo venus and mercury is conjunct to your leo ascendant, so an instant chemistry or attraction mentally and physically is apparent :3)
Lastly, San’s mars is in scorpio. His scorpio mars is opposite to your taurus sun and taurus mercury (scorpio and taurus are sister signs aka opposing signs), but in this case this could further his interest and a spark between you two often. The first impression was impactful to him, and he may be more initiative to getting closer or being in your presence in general. His scorpio mars is quite devotive, in terms of personal goals and passions, and important things he considers in his life (aka his partner, friends, family, etc). Your aquarius mars is also pragmatic when needed but due to your natural logical sense, however you tend to be more loose with your scheduling and activeness. However, despite some differences between pace, you both are consistent and stable when you decide on something. His scorpio mars is also passionate, and with your aries venus the energy levels are able to be matched and complemented with the rest of both of your chart placements.
Overall, with both placements in synastry and analyzation, you both won’t get drained out by each other a lot able to change the direction of interaction between energetic to calm and serious, lighthearted conversations to an inherent empathic awareness during conversations. I was writing this, and I can’t help thinking wow they really match well together. Chemistry platonically and romantically, you both get along rlly well. In this ship pair, you two are the best friends and lover couple, close in general and caring about each other, and did I mention the charismatic ones? I bet yall would be the most openly charming couple .ㅅ.
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Enchanted - Adam Sackler (pt. 1)
well well well, look who’s back with a new sackler fic! i honestly don’t know where this is gonna head, im figuring it out as im writing so im not that ahead of you lmao but i’ve been thinking about this concept for a while now so let’s see how it will turn out!
series summary: You are casted as Giselle in the Broadway adaptation of Enchanted with Adam as Robert.
word count: 3.5k
masterlist
Chapter title: The man
If you had to imagine what a surgeon is feeling right before a super important operation, you’d compare the feeling to the one you always get at auditions without hesitation. The nerves are stretching to the maximum, some can’t even take it, some have odd coping mechanism, the air is thick with tension and rivalry and all eyes are looking for weak points in others. It’s a mixture of feelings that crawls up on your spine every time you wait for your name to be called and find out whether or not you were good enough to make the cut.
This time is no different as you sit in a now emptied out room that was once full of ambitious girls, all of them longing after the exact same thing, a role that would change their lives, but now it’s just the five of you. You see the similarities between yourself and the girls, you are all slim figured and judging from what you’ve seen all of you have some kind of dancer background, especially number three who is eyeing you now with a hard stare, probably deep in her thoughts what would make you better than her while you do the same. You would swear your life she used to be a ballet dancer, it’s radiating from the way she sits and walks, you can just tell it.
It’s way past ten pm and all of you have been here for the whole day, fighting your way through three rounds of audition, each of them testing something different. Singing, dancing and acting, the three compulsory things that need to be perfected if someone wants the role of Giselle, especially since the shoes you’d be putting on with this role are pretty high-end, given the fact that the first and only person to bring life to the character was Amy Adams and she made quite the impression on millions of people all around the world on the big screen when the movie came out.
Looking down at your hands you notice how they are shaking once again and you quickly hide them between your thighs not to show weakness. You can’t let them see how nerve-wrecking this is for you, that’s just not professional, not what you want to project to the world.
Then the door to the auditorium where you had to perform three times today opens and all five of you rise to your feet when the four people who have been judging you all day appear with the piece of paper that contains the results you’ve been waiting all week to know.
“Thank you for your patience, it’s been a very hard decision to make,” Petra, the production assistant speaks up with a warm smile as she looks around. “We wanted to make sure the best person will stand on the stage of Broadway when the curtains open very soon and we were convinced that all of you would be worthy of the role of Giselle.”
You catch a few confused and anxious looks around, and you can almost hear the questions popping up in the minds: so how did they decide?
“But we’ve made a decision, and we would like to thank to everyone for the hard work you put into today.”
Your heart is up in your throat, each beat feels like it pushes the top of your head as you stare at the paper, visioning your name written on it as the chosen one. Petra exchanges a knowing look with the three men, the choreographer Matt, the director Trevor and Lee, the dramaturge before she turns back to us and the final name rolls down her tongue, leaving those perfectly red lips that never stopped smiling all day.
“Y/N, we would like to welcome you to the production of Enchanted on Broadway.”
You gasp and you freeze as your own name rings in your ears and envious stares turn to you from all around the room while you are just standing there, completely shocked that you actually got the part, as if you haven’t been telling yourself it’s going to happen in the past weeks.
“Thank you for everyone, we hope to see you maybe at another audition, because you all have great potential. Y/N, please stay for a little longer so we can discuss the further steps.
You’re going on Broadway, it is finally happening. You’ll be standing on the stage you’ve been dreaming of since you were a little girl, the applause will be yours (partly) every night before the curtains close. You can’t stop thinking about it all through the next about thirty minutes as you discuss every crucial information with Petra, she hands you a schedule and makes you sign some paperwork that already has your name on them. You try to remember everything and when you give them every contact info that’s needed you finally head home.
You can’t help but feel silly when arriving back to your small apartment you put on the movie and watch as Amy Adams sings warmly on the screen with a skeptical Patrick Dempsey and as you hum to the music already knowing most of the songs you wonder who will be your Robert Philip. Petra said the auditions will end this week and you’ll have a table reading on Monday where you’ll be able to meet all the people who will basically be your family for the upcoming months during the rehearsals and once the show opens.
It’s past one am when you finally turn your laptop off putting it away and as you creep your way to your window the nightlights of the city light up your face. Climbing out to the fire escape you listen to the chaotic sounds of the city that never sleeps, watching a group of friends cross the street, spraying champagne to the asphalt, laughing their way into the night. Normally you would find them annoying, but not tonight. You wish them a great night as you dream about a glass of the sparkly beverage in your hand, drinking to your big achievement. Your eyes travel up to the gloomy sky and you let out a wondering sigh, the thought of change embracing your hopes and dreams.
***
“Okay, big smile!”
You flash your widest smile into the camera Lora is holding up in front of you, holding the coffee she just bought you in your hands.
“Amazing, I feel like a mother who is taking her daughter to the school for the first time,” she jokes putting her phone away as the two of you start walking. “I’m so proud of you!”
“Thanks. I’m really excited,” you smile shyly. First day nerves are bringing the best out of you, it’s been a hard task to get some sleep last night and you only managed to rest for a couple of hours, but the excitement is definitely keeping you awake. Today is your first official day at a Broadway production in a leading role, this is a day you will never forget probably.
“You’ll be amazing and when you are finally famous, we can sell your stuff on ebay and get rich!” she cheers making you laugh. She always sees the most important things in situations.
“Great plan.” Checking the time you see that you really should get going if you don’t want to be late for the reading. “I’ll see you tonight?” you ask her stopping at the entrance of the subway.
“Sure, I’ll swing by around nine,” she nods giving you a quick hug. “Break a leg!” she calls after you as you wave while running down the stairs.
You’re not unfamiliar with the world of theater, but every theater is different and you can never know what to expect behind the scenes. It’s a whole new world on the other side of the curtains and as you walk into the building you feel like a wandering child, soaking in every little detail you see, even though it’s not even that extra like you had imagined.
Arriving to the meeting room you are fifteen minutes early, leaving only just a few people there, the long table with chairs all around it, name cards at each seat is set with water bottles and fresh fruits in bowls, a copy of the script is neatly placed at each seat.
“Y/N! Hi! How are you?” Petra welcomes you rushing over to you with that warm smile of hers, wearing an orange colored flowy dress that goes great with her dark brown locks.
“A little nervous but excited,” you chuckle.
“Don’t be nervous, we are all family now here. Come on, let me introduce you around.”
You meet some of the dancers and background actors, Trevor who you have already met at the audition and Petra also introduces you to the Misha, the costume designer who even shows you some of her sketches for the dresses you’ll be wearing on stage and they all look stunning, like a piece of art each.
You find your name at the table and put your coat to the back of the chair, running your fingers over the cover of the script with a small smile playing on your lips and pulling your phone out you shoot a quick photo of the script and your name tag before checking the names around you.
Right next to you is the one you’ve been most curious about, the name Robert Philip written in small under the name of the real person behind the character: Adam Sackler.
“I think you two will get along well,” Petra smiles at you from the other side of the table, seeing you eye the name tag. “He is—oh, he is here!” she declares, head turning to the door and she is already rushing to welcome the tall man who just walked in.
Adam Sackler is quite a man at first sight. His tall figure, broad shoulders and hair dark as the night make him appear a little dour and stern, but the smile he gives to Petra upon seeing her definitely gives his features a soft touch of warmth. He wraps an arm around her shoulders as they exchange a few words you can’t hear from this far, and you seem to be lost in the appearance of the man you’ll fall for on the stage, but you are brought back to reality when his eyes lock with yours and you notice Petra is turned to you as well. You clear your throat, feeling like a kid that’s been caught doing something naughty when you were just looking at him.
The two of them head in your way and you get yourself ready to meet the man, feeling his eyes intensely burning down at you the whole time he strides over to his seat next to you, Petra walking right beside him.
“Y/N, this is Adam. Adam, meet your Giselle, Y/N,” she smiles and when your eyes meet his again you feel his gaze in your guts. He is the definition of intimidating, expressions unreadable paired with a physique that can’t stay unrecognized.
A large hand extends in front of you, and as your palm touches his, you can’t help but notice the size difference.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” he beams, a tiny smile playing on his full lips, the lips you’ll be kissing soon.
Damn it, get your shit together! You tell yourself as you nod at him in a friendly manner.
“You too, Adam.”
Your hopes of Petra easing the nerves you are feeling from this first meeting quickly disappear when more and more people start to arrive and she leaves the two of you alone.
As your hands let go of each other you still feel the warm touch of his hand linger on your skin, both of you turning to your seats.
“So, have been on Broadway before?” he asks, glancing at your shortly as the two of you sit and he starts flipping through the script.
“No, I’m totally a newcomer. Have you been?”
“Yeah, just once a while back.”
“Any advice to be taken?” you smile at him laying your palms out on the table. He thinks to himself for a moment before turning to you.
“Leave reality behind,” he answers with a smile that seems to be hiding tens of feelings and thoughts, maybe a few stories that you are now dying to hear. Adam Sackler is definitely the person you feel drawn to in many ways and as you turn your attention towards the script, aimlessly flipping through the pages you wonder how many sides of him you will get to know by the time the lights go up on the stage for the first time.
***
The reading wouldn’t take more than about two hours at most, but with so many people and even more jokes to make it’s hard to stick to the schedule. There is always just something to add, change, comment on and this is what brings the whole team together. By the time the last words of the last page are said out loud, you feel like part of the bigger whole and the nervousness long gone, replaced by true excitement and anticipation to see what’s next.
“Thank you everyone, I think we can all agree this show is going to be magical,” Trevor, the director speaks up when the reading is over and everyone nods in agreement. “First rehearsals on the stage are expected to start in two weeks, I would like to kindly ask everyone to respect the schedule and the time of others. A list of contacts will be emailed to everyone by the end of the day,” he notes before discharging everyone.
You’re soon pulled into a discussion with Clyde, aka Prince Edward and Misha, talking about preferences for the costumes in the field of comfort and practicality, but you find yourself scanning the room for one particular tall figure.
Adam is standing a couple of feet away from you, talking to a blonde woman who has her hands on the shoulders of Janelle, the girl who’ll be playing Adam’s stage daughter, an adorable little sunshine from what you’ve seen from her in the past few hours, very focused and hardworking, she didn’t have one bad word during the whole thing and read her lines perfectly.
“He is quite the sight, huh?”
Misha’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you haven’t even noticed that Clyde was already gone. Standing next to you, she crosses her arms on her chest, eyes glued to the man in word.
“He has a great presence on the stage I heard.”
“He does?” you ask glancing at her. She nods, tugging her bright red hair behind her ears, a cheeky smile playing on her lips.
“I mean, he has one in real life too, but the way he appears up there, it’s worth a prayer,” she chuckles. “Good luck with not falling for him.”
“I’ll stay professional,” you sternly state, pushing that little voice in the back of your mind that’s doubting your words.
“Professionalism is the first thing you lose when you find yourself in the arms of such a man,” she smirks at you before walking away, leaving you with a whirl of thoughts circling around what she just said.
Checking your schedule you see that though you’ll be pretty busy from now on, your days filled with singing lessons and dance practices, many of them are solo appointments, but your eyes spot all the times when Adam’s name is written besides yours and you have one almost every day.
Glancing in his way one last time your eyes meet his stare, a small smile playing on his lips that you return before grabbing your stuff and leaving.
***
“Okay, wow,” Lora gasps as the picture of Adam appears on her computer, it’s from about a year ago, portraying him with slicked back hair wearing a long trench coat as he stares back at a guy intensely on the stage. You sip from your wine as Lora takes a good look at him.
“Yeah.”
“How tall are you compared to him?”
“My forehead is at his mouth, more or less,” you say recalling how tall he looked standing right in front of you.
“That’s a nice height difference, like, you’ll have to tiptoe to kiss him, it’s cute,” she grins at you and the thought of kissing him send a shiver down your spine. You’ve been thinking about that a lot since you’ve left the table reading, the memory of his eyes on you and the words of Misha haunting you relentlessly.
“What’s that look?”
“What look?” you ask quickly straightening your expression, taking another sip of the wine.
“Oh I know this look, the guy is already messing with your head!”
“He is not,” you shake your head, but you can’t fool your best friend.
“Oh hell yes. I don’t blame you, he looks fine.”
Turning back to the computer she starts typing, digging deeper on the internet trying to find more about him as you lean your back against the headboard, hugging a pillow to your chest. You really can’t have yourself fall this easily for a man who you’ll be working with so closely. Adam seems nice and everything you’ve heard about him is quite impressing, but you don’t know what kind of man he really is. For all you know he can be the biggest jerk in all of New York City.
“Oh my God! Look at this!” you hear Lora gasp as she leans closer to the screen. Sitting up you wonder what she found and looking at the tab that’s open there is a short film playing.
Well, it’s not the type you were expecting, because right on the screen in front of you, there is Adam’s broad back in a light colored shirt, his hair a little longer than it is now and he is… fully spanking a girl bent over a work bench, wearing only a white tank top. Your mouth hangs open as the scene carries on in front of you, the girl or more like woman grunts with each hit on her lower half begging for him to go harder as Adam calls her a slut and a whore, making it probably the most disturbing cinematic thing you’ve seen that’s not officially considered as porn.
“I’m speechless,” Lora lets out an airy chuckle as the scene soon ends with the woman jumping into his arms and you realize she is not even wearing any underwear.
“What… was that?” you whisper with wide eyes. Lora types in a few things before she can answer that question.
“It’s a short film he did last year with someone named Jessa Johnson, it was a private project. It says the story is based on events from his own life.”
“So you are saying at one point he spanked some girl he was dating and then he decided to make a movie out of it?” you grimace in confusion. This is definitely not something that you would have ever thought of him.
“Oh, and the juiciest of all is that this Jessa girl was his girlfriend,” she continues reading about the film. “This article came out six months ago, they were together then. It adapts the happenings of his private life, how he dated the best friend of his ex-girlfriend.”
“Okay, that’s pretty fucked up, don’t you think?”
“Depends,” she shrugs as she keeps scrolling. “But this film is definitely a nasty one.”
“I can only imagine what else is in it,” you mumble finishing off your wine and reaching for the bottle you pour yourself some more.
“Wanna figure it out?” she grins and you shake your head no immediately.
“I don’t need inappropriate images in my mind when I’ll be stuck with him at rehearsals.”
Knowing how your conscious works you just can’t take the risk. If he appears in more inappropriate scenes in the film, you bet your life that you wouldn’t make yourself think of anything else when you look at him the next time. The spanking is already more than you would bear with.
“I wonder what else there is about him that we don’t know of,” Lora narrows her eyes staring into the distance.
Adam Sackler has given you way more to think about than you would have ever expected from someone and you haven’t even talked to him that much. His appearance, his words to you and the things the internet is holding about him, it all shows a different person and you can’t decide which one is the real side of him or where he stands if it’s a mixture. You wish you could just ask him all the questions you have about him and get your answers without being judged or have them held against you, but you are left with silent suffering and slow observation until you finally figure this handsome looking mysterious man you’ll be forced to cross paths every day.
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general/forever taglist for Adam Driver
i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Adam taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Adam fics!
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