#it's just silliness they deserve to have a romcom ok

[lansplaining]

[one snippet of a chengqing hallmark rom com for as many days of december as i feel like!] 

Lotus Pier was done for-- or at least it was meant to be. After 100 years (ancient and venerable, in west coast time) the whole enterprise had gone up in flames-- literally and therefore, one would assume, metaphorically as well. Especially a school, which is not exactly the kind of place that can withstand extended periods of unexpected closure, or any hint that the premises might be unsafe. But those who predicted Lotus Pier’s demise four years ago had failed to account for Jiang Cheng. 

Now, Jiang Cheng sometimes felt like Lotus Pier was actively in flames all around him, metaphorically this time. But in point of fact, the school was standing and operating and-- surviving. It was surviving.

Jiang Cheng was also-- standing. Operating. Surviving. Which was fine, more than enough, especially given his only real confidante usually had other things on his mind. For example--

“Jiujiu!” Jin Ling bellowed the second his feet hit the floor of Jiang Cheng’s office. Jiang Cheng stood to intercept him as he came tearing across the little room, as past experience had revealed that Jin Ling would attempt to just climb over the desk, and would not succeed. Jiang Cheng scooped him up, then turned to see Jin Guangyao looking politely amused in the doorway. 

“Jiujiu,” Jin Ling demanded before Jiang Cheng could get out an actual, adult greeting. “I want a Christmas tree.”

“We put up the decorations in Koi Tower today,” Jin Guangyao said, smiling still, but sounding apologetic. “A-Ling was very taken with them-- weren’t you?”

“Yes,” Jin Ling said decisively. “I want one. I want it-- this big.” He flung his arm upwards, indicating a height somewhere past Jiang Cheng’s head. 

“Right,” said Jiang Cheng. “Well, we’ll... see what we can do. Hi, Guangyao. Would you like to take a seat?” 

Jin Guangyao nodded his thanks and pulled out the chair on the opposite side of Jiang Cheng’s desk. Something about that chair often put people ill at ease-- instinctive memories, Jiang Cheng assumed, of being trouble in school and called into the principle’s office. But if Jin Guangyao felt that, he didn’t show it. 

“So, what did you want to discuss?” Jiang Cheng asked, as Jin Ling busied himself with settling into Jiang Cheng’s lap and playing with the pens on his desk. 

Jin Guangyao wasn’t the type to make annoying jokes about oh, right down to business, he just reached for the briefcase he’d just set down. “I actually wanted to speak to you on behalf of my father. As you’ve probably heard, he’s looking to expand his property portfolio, and there have been such promising redevelopments in the waterfront area in recent years. As you know-- all this construction!” 

“The construction,” Jiang Cheng agreed automatically. He already didn’t like where this was going. Even setting aside the fact that there were still parts of the site they hadn’t had the time or money to fully repair yet, Lotus Pier stood out like a sore thumb these days amongst all the new waterfront hotels and high rises. 

“He’s aware, of course, of how hard you’ve worked over the past few years to get Lotus Pier back on its feet,” Jin Guangyao went on. “And it occurred to him that there might be an arrangement here that would be beneficial to everyone. You would have cash in hand, and could seek out a premises with less complicated upkeep, and my father would be able to pursue a waterfront development.” 

Jiang Cheng just stared at him, silent for a moment or two. “You...”

“Want to buy Lotus Pier,” Jin Guangyao agreed. “Naturally no one is asking you to make a decision right here! But...” Now he opened the briefcase and pulled out a stack of papers. “I wanted to bring you our proposal. The price, of course, but also our plans for the property, as I suspected you’d be interested to know what the land would become before agreeing to anything. It has been in your family for a long time, and we want to respect that.” 

He slid a thick, plastic-bound packet across the table. Jiang Cheng just sort of looked at it, but Jin Ling eagerly slapped his hand down on it and pulled it closer, so Jiang Cheng hand it carefully extricate it from his hands. 

“Thanks,” he said, more out of instinct than out of any conscious thought. He was too dazed to do anything else, too focused on not letting his confusion morph-- as it so often did-- into anger. There was no question Jin Guangyao had done all the work to prepare this proposal, but he was equally sure the idea itself came straight from Jin Guangshan. It would do him no good to get angry at Jin Guangyao, even though he’d seen him withstand being screamed at by his own family without the slightest waver to his habitual smile. 

It was this same state of dazed autopilot that made him, when the phone suddenly started ringing, reach out and answer it. 

“--sorry, let me take this,” he blurted out a second too late. Jin Guangyao agreed with a polite nod. “--hi. Lotus Pier Academy, this is Jiang Cheng speaking.”

“Oh,” said a woman’s voice on the other end of the line, a bit startled. “I didn’t think I’d get straight through to you.” 

“What can I do for you?” he asked, assuming that this random person didn’t actually want to hear about how they still couldn’t afford to hire a full-time secretary. 

“My name is Wen Qing, and I’m calling on behalf of the Nevernight Group. I apologize for cold-calling this way, but I’m going to be in the area for business in a few days and wondered if I could-- sorry, I really thought I’d be speaking to your assistant-- I wondered if I could get a meeting in your calendar while I’m here. My employer is interested in discussing your future plans for your property, and whether you might be open to some form of partnership in relation to the future of the site.”

“--oh.” Maybe, Jiang Cheng thought, there was such a thing as fate. “Yeah, sure. Tuesday lunchtime?” 

“Sounds perfect,” she said. “That was-- very efficient, thank you. I look forward to meeting you.”

“Same to you,” Jiang Cheng said. He hung up the phone, pulled his staff lanyard out of Jin Ling’s mouth, and said, “Well, Jin Guangyao. You’ve got a competing offer.”

[beelzeballing]

actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?

ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.

i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.

i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.

i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.

and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:

choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.

ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)

now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:

✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️

right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.

ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.

[softboynick]

Was it good? Or was it just good because Nick was in it?

ok i was waiting until the morning to answer this because i certainly do have a lot of Thoughts. with that said, spoilers under the cut so read at your own risk!!!

the movie feels like your typical romantic comedy. the level of sincerity borderlines cringy, which is perfect for a romantic comedy for this caliber. i had a lot of apprehensions about this movie because of its reputation and what its based on, but knowing the movie came from the guy (michael showalter) from wet hot american summer kind of gave me a sense of ease going into this movie.

of course i love nick's acting, don't get me wrong, but anne hathaway really carried the entire thing. it was basically a coming-of-age story but in the sense that it was solene coming to terms with her age and understanding that happiness doesn't need to stop when you reach 40.

some of the lines were so bad that i wondered why i was watching in the first place ("Why would you break up with a talented, kind feminist?") but the sincerity in the characters holds so much weight and i truly loved how they handled the whole older woman/younger man romance that didn't make it feel so predatory.

also i gotta say, the music is so good. i am a moonhead first and a human second.

ok moving onto standout scenes:

yes straight sex scenes are so overdone and can be incredibly vanilla, but i honestly loved the way the colors would change to signify solene feeling everything - a callback to the painting that she shows hayes. and hayes acquiring that painting to show how much he loves her is so adlkflkdajf

the scene where nick channels tom cruise in risky business also had to be the hottest scene i have ever seen. even hotter than the sex.

the scene where daniel and solene fight really makes me wonder if hayes only left (with the excuse that oliver got in trouble) because his trauma about his own parents splitting up was forced back to the surface. i wished they unpacked that more because i know this was solene's story.

i am a sucker for two pretty bitches crying, so all the emotional scenes between hayes and solene made my heart hurt (and i actually did shed a few tears). i saw a lot of prince henry in these scenes especially when nick's lgbt eyes made an appearance. those eyes of his deserve an emmy on their own.

the five years later epilogue is cute but so silly because i cannot stand nick's beard/goatee.

BUT OVERALL

yes i loved this movie. yes it mostly had to do with nick. but i love romcoms and silly, fun movies. nick took me in, but hayes and solene made me stay. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[whiskeyswifty]

I regrettably don’t listen to Hits Different enough and I didn’t drag myself to target to buy the cd so only rarely do I find myself listening to it. which is such a shame bc it’s suuuuch a good fun bop of a drunk girl at a party sulking around in remorse but looking hot while doing it

anyway, I wanted to hear your big-brained thoughts on the track because I always love your take 🫠

i don't either! i wish it was on streaming so i can just listen wherever i want and on whatever device i'm on. and i CANNOT be bothered to go to target to by it lmao i'm not in the demo that will do that for her anymore, sorry miss swift. it is so fun though!! the best song on midnights by a mile. idk if i have any like bigger picture thoughts or super deep reads, but sure haha i'll share what i have. I did make a post recently about one line in it over here.

right off the bat i loved the instrumentation. it sounds just like a 2000s romcom/teen movie ending song or like theme song. which is a time i'm very nostalgic for as a 90s/2000s kid so it just warms my heart! and i think is a great contrast to offset the woe-is-me lyrics of the song that makes it instead more silly melodrama. as if to further get through to the audience that she really is just that one friend who's like hung up on her ex and in that stage of the breakup. it's not that serious just put her in a car and send her home. very like end of 500 days of summer type shit. to move on sometimes you have to grieve and let go in 10 different ways and it swings like a pendulum and you're kind of a wreck and impossible to be around. but eventually, time heals everything and you'll sort yourself out. (also 500 days of summer GREAT breakup movie, very honest, and unflinching in the same way the song is).

and i love the lyrics because i love songs that sound like they were written in real time (i know they're not, but they SOUND like it). rambling and meandering and stream of consciousness songs are sooo my bag. also some lyrics sound like drunk ramblings or, well, 2 am ramblings, which creates a great landscape for the song's timeline. just her struggling over days and weeks to move past this breakup. and it's a bit intentionally confusing and messy, just like how real relationships/breakups can be. at several points in the song she blames herself, then them, then herself again, then swings back into desperation, anger, frustration, just a rollercoaster of emotions that happens during this experience.

i do think my favorite part though is the end of the rambling bridge when she sings in a sudden surge of self confidence "Bet I could still melt your world. Argumentative, antithetical dream girl!" and it's said in a bit of a manic tone, coming in quick succession after a snowballing bridge that culminates in this burst of confidence and instrumental crescendo. and it seems like ok! she's maybe coming out of it like, i'm great! you probably want me so bad but you don't DESERVE me. but then the song quiets down, her voice falls away for a few seconds and when it comes back, it's wistfully soft again, desperately deluding herself into thinking that they changed their mind and came back. she's right back where she started, delirious to the point of willfully hallucinating and in that moment, also realizing she's gotten to the part of the grief where she's lost her mind a bit and hit kind of a rock bottom of desperation. and to play it off, she sets it up as a joke and it's just so sad and deflecting and human to do that as you swim through the emotional muck, even if she's just being melodramatic. even if she knows it shouldn't still hurt, "make it make some sense why the wound is still bleeding" it still does and it makes her feel crazy! but then the track picks right back up again with that jovial banger of a tune to keep the lightness and the almost cinematic thread of "life and love has it's ups and downs, but isn't that the common human experience that we can all laugh about?"

i think it's a fantastic song, in how it's construction is in conversation with it's lyricism. and what it's trying to accomplish is such a throwback, and in that showing how universal the experience of a messy breakup is and always has been and probably always will be. and how important it is to remember how it's not that serious, even if it feels like it in the moment. you're just in it, but it'll pass and it is important while you're in it to honor how it feels serious, even if you're self aware that it's not. you gotta feel the crushing grief in order to process it and claw your way out. in the mean time, your friends are just rolling their eyes at you like, girl we've been there. see you in a month when you got it out of your system and i'll stop by your house every few days to make sure you shower. and one day it'll make for fun fodder to put in a song so everyone can listen and laugh at the melodrama and say yeah, we've been there. it always happens but it also always passes.

[alittlefrenchtree]

Hi! I'm really curious about this cause I've seen similar opinions online and I love reading stuff like this! It makes me understand myself better and makes me understand why I like things more. You can call me Curious Anon, lol, cause I'll send 2nd and 3rd ask but you wrote this when someone asked you if Taylor's acting was good and part of your reply was: "I met him with Alex, so let’s start with Alex. Unlike many, I was more pulled in and hooked by his performance than I was with Nick’s one. (Not saying Taylor’s better than Nick (nor the other way around), let me finish)". How were you hooked more by Taylor's performance as Alex than Nick's as Henry's? Could you please elaborate on your first viewing experience with RWRB a d how you came across it?

Hi there, Curious Anon ☺️

Again, thank you for taking interest in my opinions and giving me opportunities to ramble some more 💜 I really appreciate it!

How were you hooked more by Taylor's performance as Alex than Nick's as Henry’s?

It’s hard to define how, to be honest. I can give lines of thoughts but I’m not sure how much each played in the part.

Part of this is actually related to being hooked first by Alex himself as a character, so it’s hard to tell how much is thanks to the character himself and how much is about Taylor’s work. I guess it’s also because it’s very much a story from Alex’s POV and you have to wait a bit to have a close look at Henry.

About the performances themselves, and I’m going to try to not elaborate too much on that because the answer will overlap the ones for your second ask, but the general idea is:

I knew nothing about both of them before watching the movie. Have never seen a second of any of their work nor of videos as themselves so I knew nothing nothing about them. So there was no "oh that’s not Alex, that’s Taylor" moment nor "that’s Nick and definitely not Henry right there" moment per se. That being said, Alex was just Alex from start to finish. I was just watching a real person, organically existing on my screen. 

For Henry… There were some scenes, during my first watch of a movie, when my feeling was closer to "I’m watching an actor act" than "I’m watching a real person experiencing life". A bit like seeing the ropes I guess. In my eyes, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad performance or that one is better than the other. And again, I have reviewed and nuanced many aspects of this opinion since then, it really doesn't mean anything at all anymore. Nick’s people don’t come for my throat just yet please 🙏 I’ll elaborate more on Henry and Nick in the next ask. Click here to read me gush about Nick.

Could you please elaborate on your first viewing experience with RWRB a d how you came across it?

There are some elements of answer here.

Like said, romcoms aren’t really my thing but I had a good time. I thought it was flawed but refreshing and cute. Most of all, I’m happy it exists and is successful for all the reasons that queer people deserve good, light, silly and positive stories for entertainment. 

Honestly I didn’t expect to post that much about it and certainly didn’t know I would still be talking about it months later and harassing prime video for a sequel announcement. And to be honest, I’ve read the book only once and didn’t watch the movie that often. I’ve already spent more time reading fan fictions about it that consuming the source materials. It’s a weird kind of addiction, actually 😂 I’m not sure how much or in which directions you wanted me to elaborate on that point, but I was like "I like it ok" but kept going back to it because I wanted more soft fun and more funny softness from them (and for them).

[drowninginships]

okay first off let me start by saying this idea has me acting the fuck up, holy shit

and Baz is like [finger guns] absolutely not. and Simon is like 👁️👄👁️ welp i'm in fucking agony. screaming at this fucking pretty girl getting akwardly rejected by this gorgeous book boy, im already obsessed and so Baz comes up to ask if Simon needs help and he says yeah, as usual, and the two of them end up having a bantery convo about the book Simon's looking for bc they've both read it and Baz hated it, but Simon loved it, and it's just very cute and casual, and then Baz is like. so, my shift ends in liiike… four hours. are you doing anything?

BAZ IS SO CUTE IN THIS WTF im obsessed with the idea of baz being happy and comfortable in his sexuality and hitting on guys he likes, it heals my soul

so they go out and have the most fucking insane romcom date ever.

as the gods intended

'cause you gotta remember, Simon only gets one real day with people, so he doesn't do like casual coffee dates or movies or whatever

this is genuinely such a sad and lonely concept, and you've made it sound fun and silly but god there's a deep rooted lonliness there, of fucking course he falls in love with the first person to really see him

Baz is just like all smiles and creased eyes and messy black hair and, breathlessly: "I want to see you again." and Simon's heart drops. because he wants to see Baz again, too, but he can't.

shut up shut uP shUT UP SHUT UP

so he does the only thing he can think of: he stays awake. all fucking night.

very simon snow thinking, this is exactly a solution he would reach

in my notes this is written as "??? smash ???

you haven't mentioned yet what simon looks like for these two dates, and im desperate to know. i wanna know who baz is looking at

either way, Simon passes the fuck out at Baz's place bc he was properly exhausted by that point, and he wakes up to Baz screaming at him bc obvs he looks like a different person now.

god but just IMAGINE THAT MOMENT baz is so justified and simon sounds fucking insane, i love this so much

MC keeps a video diary, logging every day what his face looks like, and in this, Simon does this on his phone and backs them up to his computer every hundred days,

BACK TO THIS BEING INCREDIBLY SAD AND LONELY IM GOING TO CRY

Baz recognises him in some of them

literal hearts in my eyes bro

Baz: "I want you to leave."

understandable and hurtful all the same

Baz just stands there staring at him. and Simon is so uncomfortable, like, he just wants to leave— "Simon?" SORRY, YOU WHAT?

baz has a sixth sense, dude, he can scope out simon in every body, in every lifetime, in every universe and im sobbing

Baz liked Simon a stupid amount considering they'd only gone on two dates, but they were good dates, and Baz doesn't date much, so he's a bit hung up on just how much he liked Simon and the weird way shit ended, so he's basically like. i want to see it again.

baz: i want to see it again simon: wut baz: yknow, for science

he has the lives of a dozen people shoved into a room the size of a shoebox,

SOBBING

this is a fanfic, so they just end up having sex again but it's supposed to be kinda emo and tender and look, it's what my heart wants, ok?

its what they deserve okay, and its fanfic law

Simon: "That I'm still me. Inside, I mean. Like… if you had a book, and every day you gave it a new cover, the story wouldn't change." Baz: "You must get lost on a lot of shelves."

rip my heart out and stomp on it, why don't you?

Baz is just a part of Simon's life the same way Penny is, he knows the truth, and he deals with it. for the first time in Simon's adult life, he gets to really date. he and Baz do a bunch of domestic shit together, for months, and it's so good. all of it is so good, all the time, and they fall so fucked up deep in love with each other.

IM SCREAMING BECAUSE HE'S LESS LONELY NOW, HE HAS SOMEONE ELSE, NOW

Simon will come in and try to act like a stranger, but Baz can Where's Waldo him every time.

baz has an ingrained Simon Detector

he can't ever be the type of boyfriend Baz can bring home to his family. he can't ever be the type of boyfriend Baz gets to have a normal life with. SO SIMON GHOSTS HIM.

prince henry behavior

he's fucking devastated and confused by this and desperately trying to get Simon to respond to him, but he won't.

alex Claremont-diaz behavior

the general idea i wanna go with is that Simon goes to the bookshop Baz works at just for the sake of seeing him, checking up on him, bc he misses him.

becuase for a brief moment in time, Simon wasn't so alone in this world, and now he is again. of course he wanders back to Baz, the only other person who saw him

he fucking clocks Simon after like ten seconds.

simon detector

Baz is like: "You don't get to decide that for me! You're still you, you're still lovely—" "You don't even know what I look like!" "I don't care what you look like, you fucking moron, I care that you're Simon Snow! There's a person inside you that exists every day, even when everything else changes, and he's lovely. I love him.

extremely firstprince behavior

"Like this one, then?" he says. "Loveliest yet." Baz brushes his knuckles over the slope of Simon's shoulder. "Freckles, curls, broad shoulders… Mmm, maybe we should stay in bed today."

baz you're so gay its embarrassing

"Holy shit!" he shouts, and shoves himself up onto his knees. "That's me!" Baz rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes, I told you—" Simon shakes his head furiously. "No, it's. Baz. I'm. Jesus fucking Christ, that's me. Baz, that's me." Baz sits up slowly. "Do you mean—" "Fuck, holy shit!"

im crying again

what if it was only for today. how long will it be until the next time? what if there is no next time, what if, what if—

i can feel his fear

Simon wakes up to Baz's mouth on the back of his neck. "Good morning, Simon Snow."

SCREAMING CRYING PUKING HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME IM DEAD, IM BEDRIDDEN FOR WEEKS DUE TO THIS, I'VE BEEN SLAIN AND I AM NOTHING I AM LYING AT THE FEET OF THIS FIC AND WORSHIPPING IT AS MY GOD

Oh do tell about that snowbaz au of yours 👀

I WOULD FUCKING LOVE TO, thank you so much tumblr user pidgelikethebird (and also my most beloved and loyal companion @drowninginships) for providing me the enrichment i need to survive the winter.

ok gimme a min here to turn my thoughts into comprehensible words. i'm gonna say right now: this post is gonna be a LONG one, but 10 out of 10 scientists agree you should read to the end.

so, if you didn't know, The Beauty Inside is a Korean romcom from 2015, based off an American short film of the same name; the orig short film i linked is an extremely quick watch (only 6 episodes, each one 4-10 minutes long) and i would absolutely recommend it, but the very basics of the premise is that: a man wakes up in his bed on his 18th birthday to find he's in a completely different body than his own, and every day since then, he wakes up as somebody new.

AND OBVS I JUST HAD TO FUCKING SNOWBAZ THAT, which is how my AU, titled In the Many Ways of Loving You, was born:

Simon Snow wakes up every day as somebody new; the only person who knows the truth is Penny, his best friend and roommate, since she's been by his side since it all began ten years ago.

he works on commission as a custom bookbinder—like, he has an Etsy or some shit, i dunno, some kinda online shop where people can commission him in a variety of ways to rebind their favourite books, either by paying extra for Simon to buy the book himself and rebind it from new and send it to them, or sometimes collectors will send their personal copies to him to have him rebind them, and he's very good at it, and N E WAY the point of this is that he has a small bookshop he's been going to regularly for the last eight or so years, because it's close to his and Penny's flat, and where the story begins: Baz is a new employee that just started working there about two weeks ago and Simon has a massive crush on him.

ok, now. day one: when we meet Simon for the first time, he wakes up and he's lovely and blonde and brown-eyed and ok, yeah, i've just made him look like Agatha bc i thought it'd be kinda funny, esp since Agatha's not actually in the fic otherwise.

and Simon has to pick up a copy of some random book from the bookshop today bc someone bought a custom binding of it, so he goes down and, as usual, since it's his job, Baz has to come over to talk to him and is like, "hey, can I help you with anything?" and Simon doesn't need any help bc he's been coming to this shop for years, but every time Baz asks he says yes bc he wants the excuse to talk to him, and on this day Simon is like, wait. i'm so hot rn. so he asks Baz out—

and Baz is like [finger guns] absolutely not.

and Simon is like 👁️👄👁️ welp i'm in fucking agony.

but whatever, fine. a guy like Baz is prolly already in a proper relationship, and it's always a bad idea for Simon to get involved with someone he has to see on the reg. he had to start going to a different coffee shop that's twenty minutes out of his way bc he went out on a great date with one of the baristas at his old spot and then obvs couldn't go out again after just that one time, and it made him super emo, so really, Baz saying no was prolly for the best.

TIMESKIP, it's been a few days and Simon has to go down to the bookshop again. but this time he's a bloke. and so Baz comes up to ask if Simon needs help and he says yeah, as usual, and the two of them end up having a bantery convo about the book Simon's looking for bc they've both read it and Baz hated it, but Simon loved it, and it's just very cute and casual, and then Baz is like. so, my shift ends in liiike... four hours. are you doing anything?

and Simon is like. OH. OH!!!

that whole "it's prolly for the best" thing? yeah, fuck that, that was Simon of the past, he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about bc cute bookshop guy wants to hang out and so they go out and have the most fucking insane romcom date ever.

'cause you gotta remember, Simon only gets one real day with people, so he doesn't do like casual coffee dates or movies or whatever. they go out and like fucking B&E a museum after hours bc Simon knows someone like the janitor or something (i dunno) leaves one of the back doors unlocked so he can step out for a cig every few hours, so they sneak in and have the time of their life running around looking at art while trying not to get caught, and we're going to use the suspended disbelief bestowed upon us by the power of romcoms to pretend security cameras aren't a thing, and it is BRILLIANT. like, Simon and Baz have so much chemistry, and when the night ends Baz is just like all smiles and creased eyes and messy black hair and, breathlessly: "I want to see you again."

and Simon's heart drops. because he wants to see Baz again, too, but he can't. no matter how much he wants to, he can't. when he wakes up tomorrow he's going to be someone new, so he can't, he can't, he can't, he—

"Yeah," he says. "Tomorrow?"

SIMON NO!!!

"It's a date."

FUCK!!!

ok, so now we have a problem. Simon can't just stand him up, i mean he could but he doesn't want to, and he really does want to see him again, so he does the only thing he can think of: he stays awake. all fucking night.

Baz, the next day: "You look exhausted."

Simon, wired asf on caffeine and trying to be smooth: "Had someone on my mind all night."

and then they go have another wicked date, but i have nothing in my notes about what it is. oh, i have them living in Canada in this fic btw bc as a rule, if a fic doesn't have to be set in England, i move them to Canada for comfort. so i might have them go cliff jumping or something? who knows. we'll go with that for now.

cue the romcom montage.

[mother tongue starts playing SO DON'T SAY YOU LOVE ME FALA AMO, JUST LET YOUR HEART SPEAK UP AND I'LL KNOW]

ok. post-date. Simon is so dumb and infatuated with Baz and does something only a boy who is dumb and infatuated and sleep-deprived would do in his situation, and he goes back to Baz's flat with him to "watch a movie", or in other words: the movie starts and then they prolly have sex, but in my notes this is written as "??? smash ???" so i guess it's kinda up in the air.

either way, Simon passes the fuck out at Baz's place bc he was properly exhausted by that point, and he wakes up to Baz screaming at him bc obvs he looks like a different person now.

Simon, half-asleep: [PANICKED FLAILING] BAZ IT'S ME!!! STOP THROWING THINGS!!! BAZ!!! IT'S ME, IT'S SIMON!!!

and Baz is like: WHAT THE FUCK

and Simon is like: I CAN EXPLAIN

and Baz is like: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE

and Simon is like: I CAN EXPLAIN!!!

so, here's a detail from the orig film that comes into play here: in the orig movie, the MC keeps a video diary, logging every day what his face looks like, and in this, Simon does this on his phone and backs them up to his computer every hundred days, so he gives Baz his phone and tells him the whole story while Baz scrolls through these short like minute long videos of Simon on various days going, "Hey, this is me today. I have [this and such] thing to do, blah blah blah."

and the thing is, Baz recognises him in some of them. bc Simon is always coming into the bookshop. he stops watching when he gets to the day Simon looked like Agatha, and Simon has been quiet for a while at this point, just letting Baz process.

Baz: "I want you to leave."

Simon takes his phone without a word and goes. Penny picks him up on the corner a block over and drives him back to their flat. she doesn't ask what happened. she already has a pretty good idea.

when Simon's next commission comes in, he thinks about going to another bookshop, he really does. but this one is so convenient, esp since Simon can't drive bc he can't risk getting pulled over carrying a licence that doesn't have his face on it, and he's been going there for eight years and it's not like Baz will recognise him anyway.

so, to the bookshop he goes, but this time when Baz comes up to ask if he needs help, Simon is like, "haha, no that's okay," and goes back to looking for things on his own, and Baz kinda lingers awkwardly for a moment before going on his way, but then when Simon comes up to the till to pay for the book, Baz just stands there staring at him. and Simon is so uncomfortable, like, he just wants to leave—

"Simon?"

SORRY, YOU WHAT?

"What?" Simon gapes at him. "How did— how did you? But I'm—"

"Can we talk?" Baz asks.

"How did you know it was—"

Baz shouts over to the other employee on the floor that he's taking his lunch break, and Simon just slowly follows him out of the shop with the book forgotten, unpaid for, at the check-out.

and here's the deal, Baz liked Simon a stupid amount considering they'd only gone on two dates, but they were good dates, and Baz doesn't date much, so he's a bit hung up on just how much he liked Simon and the weird way shit ended, so he's basically like. i want to see it again. and Simon is like, see what? and Baz is like, you. the... whatever that you do, i want to see you change.

and that's how Simon ends up bringing Baz back to his flat, and btw: Simon has a rule about never bringing people back to his flat bc it's weird as fuck. his room is really tiny, and it's cluttered as fuck in a Howl's bedroom type way. he keeps to the same cheap, casual style for all his clothes, but he needs things in a bunch of sizes. shoes are a nightmare. he has to take care of his hair in a million different fucking ways. so he has the lives of a dozen people shoved into a room the size of a shoebox, and his mattress has no frame. that shit is just on the floor, so it takes up less space. and there's this mirror, a wide full bodied mirror, propped up against the wall facing the bed, so that the first thing Simon can do each day is roll over and look at himself.

Simon and Baz have supper together, they talk, they pretend this isn't weird as fuck and, even though it is weird as fuck, they still have so much chemistry, and this is a fanfic, so they just end up having sex again but it's supposed to be kinda emo and tender and look, it's what my heart wants, ok?

morning comes. Simon wakes to Baz's hands on his face. which is already and improvement compared to last time. Baz is looking at him very seriously, but also very like. softly. he's touching Simon's features, tracing them, and Simon is quiet for a very long time, watching him do this, until he's just like. what are you doing.

Baz: "Getting to know you." A pause. "Why does it happen?"

Simon: "I don't know."

Baz: "Are there other people like you?"

Simon: "I don't know."

Baz, sighing: "Well, what do you know?"

Simon: "That I'm still me. Inside, I mean. Like... if you had a book, and every day you gave it a new cover, the story wouldn't change."

Baz: "You must get lost on a lot of shelves."

Simon: "Yeah."

and from there, Baz is just a part of Simon's life the same way Penny is, he knows the truth, and he deals with it. for the first time in Simon's adult life, he gets to really date. he and Baz do a bunch of domestic shit together, for months, and it's so good. all of it is so good, all the time, and they fall so fucked up deep in love with each other.

(detail from this point that is relevant later: Baz and Simon make a game out of Baz recognising Simon at work on days when he hasn't seen yet what he looks like. Simon will come in and try to act like a stranger, but Baz can Where's Waldo him every time.)

but then Christmas comes. and Baz has to go home to see his family. and i don't have an exact idea of how this convo goes, only that it is not a fight of any kind, like, it is a normal convo about the holidays but Baz apologises to Simon during it for not telling his family about him, he says they'd want Baz to bring Simon home if he did (bc i just don't wanna fuck with homophobia in this so we've shot Malcolm with the ally beam) and he wouldn't know how to explain Simon's whole... thing to them, and Simon kinda realises that like. he can't ever be the type of boyfriend Baz can bring home to his family. he can't ever be the type of boyfriend Baz gets to have a normal life with.

SO SIMON GHOSTS HIM.

like, Baz comes back from his family's place, annoyed that Simon hasn't returned any of his texts or calls, only to find that Simon and Penny have literally fucking moved flats in the two weeks he's been gone. and obvs he's fucking devastated and confused by this and desperately trying to get Simon to respond to him, but he won't.

Simon goes out of his way to find a new bookshop to go to, and that's the end of things for about a week or so, and i haven't actually decided what happens here exactly, but the general idea i wanna go with is that Simon goes to the bookshop Baz works at just for the sake of seeing him, checking up on him, bc he misses him.

but remember that game they played? so yeah, Baz walks up to say his usual like, "hey, can I help you find anything?" but he fucking clocks Simon after like ten seconds.

scene change: they're in Simon's new flat, like maybe Baz demanded that if Simon is going to break up with him he owes it to him to do it goddamn properly, but i dunno. details, details. but they end up getting in a huge fucking fight and Simon reveals the reason he ghosted Baz was bc he realised Baz can't have a real life with him and Baz is like:

"You don't get to decide that for me! You're still you, you're still lovely—"

"You don't even know what I look like!"

"I don't care what you look like, you fucking moron, I care that you're Simon Snow! There's a person inside you that exists every day, even when everything else changes, and he's lovely. I love him. The rest doesn't matter, how can you not see that? Stop telling me I'm not allowed to love you however you are, I'll love you a hundred different ways, Simon. Any size, any shape. I'll love you over, and over, and over. That's a life for me. A real life for me. You!"

and then Simon throws his arms around Baz's neck and hugs him like he needs him to breathe and Baz clings to his shirt and they're both prolly crying all loud and gross, but it's fine. they're gonna be fine.

the next day: Simon wakes up to Baz's mouth on the back of his neck. "Like this one, then?" he says.

"Loveliest yet." Baz brushes his knuckles over the slope of Simon's shoulder. "Freckles, curls, broad shoulders... Mmm, maybe we should stay in bed today."

Simon laughs and rolls over to pin Baz to the mattress, grinning at him. he goes to say something, prolly rib at him the way they do, but as he does he catches his reflection in that mirror he keeps by his bed and he freezes.

"Holy shit!" he shouts, and shoves himself up onto his knees. "That's me!"

Baz rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes, I told you—"

Simon shakes his head furiously. "No, it's. Baz. I'm. Jesus fucking Christ, that's me. Baz, that's me."

Baz sits up slowly. "Do you mean—"

"Fuck, holy shit!" Simon grabs his curls with both hands. he hasn't touched these curls in ten fucking years. he looks older than he remembers himself, which is a given, but it's definitely him. his father's eyes, his mother's chin. the moles on his cheek, above his eyebrow, below his ear.

Simon freaks out in a way that kinda toes the line between being happy and being a breakdown, he throws himself at Baz, and they both fall back onto the bed and Simon is laughing and he's shaking and he doesn't understand, he doesn't get it, but holy fuck, he has his own face, he has his own body, he has his own hands. Baz pushes them apart so he can get a look at him, and Simon is actually kinda self-conscious when he does, which is a new feeling. he never has to feel self-conscious about anything, usually, since he knows every flaw or insecurity isn't really his, and will be gone the next day, but this is just... him.

Baz takes Simon's face in his hands and then, breathlessly, "Hello, Simon Snow."

AND THEN THEY KISS bc what else would they do here.

and uhh, yeah. so. Simon goes out to the kitchen where Penny is making breakfast and she loses her shit when she sees him. big hugs all around. Baz really does take the day off work to spend it with Simon, even though that just means lying around on the sofa watching movies while Simon works on his current rebinding commission. when Penny gets home that evening, they order takeaway and sit around the lounge room playing boardgames together until late, late, late into the night. Penny falls asleep in the armchair, and now it's 3-am.

Simon is tired. he's looking at the clock, sitting with his knees up and his arms around them, with Baz beside him. Baz has his forehead on his shoulder, an arm around his waist. he doesn't want to go to bed, because what if... what if it was only for today. how long will it be until the next time? what if there is no next time, what if, what if—

"We'll still be here," Baz whispers, exhausted. "And you'll still be you. No matter what, Simon."

and so they go to bed.

Simon wakes up to Baz's mouth on the back of his neck.

"Good morning, Simon Snow."

AND YEAH, that is the entire plot of my The Beauty Inside AU.

i told you this was gonna be a long one, but if you've made it all the way to the end of this mess, thank you kindly again for indulging me!

[floralseokjin]

⤑ 9 months to fall in love 16.

It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.

Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.

Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…

pairing; kim seokjin x f reader au/genre; unplanned pregnancy, strangers to lovers, slow burn, romance (dare I say romcom in places), smut, angst, (melo)drama, dual pov words; 7,234

warnings/includes (!) I’m sorry, but we’re back in angstville for this one, be strong, everything will be ok!!!! There’s like 10% fluff, then 90% angst, conflict, they tell Oc’s family and it couldn’t go any worse if they tried tbh, Oc’s dad is not happy to put it lightly, he goes OFF, mentions of parent death, prepare to feel really sorry for Seokjin lmao, but he also gives the dad what for, our man needs a hug, but also Oc deserves one too! 

⟶ ao3 link

*inspired by the manhwa ‘Positively Yours.’

↪︎ series index

SEASON TWO ⇤ previous | next ⇥

Yesterday had been a busy day altogether, because after your appointment with Dr. Choi, you’d visited Yuna and Jimin to share the news, then three (unplanned) hours later, you had to whisk off to meet up with Hoseok, Kang and Jungkook, the latter making reservations for dinner. You’d thought about gathering all your friends together to tell them, but you’d both decided quite resolutely, that you weren’t ready for Yuna and Jungkook to meet just yet. You would save that for the baby shower Yuna kept going on (and on) about. 

You’d texted Namjoon to tell him he’d lost the betting pool, and also Yoongi to let him know he was on the winner’s team, who floated the idea of Globbina for a name – which had made Seokjin laugh a lot when you’d told him, followed by a ‘please, God no.’ You’d also let Yuna’s parents know the news, feeling guilty you’d managed to forget about them when Boyoung’s text had come through politely asking if she could find out. In the general scheme of things, you probably didn’t have that many people to tell, but to you it seemed like hundreds. 

The day after, you both made the drive down to visit Seokjin’s parents again, his brother and Seohyun already there with Taeoh and Jiu, all of them excitedly waiting to find out whether Glob was a girl or boy – well, maybe minus Jiu, who didn’t understand what was going on (but, was successfully warming to you more!) Mikyung teared up as soon as you told her the news and showed her the sonograms. She couldn’t wait to meet her second baby granddaughter. Sangwoo smiled and clasped Seokjin’s shoulder proudly, Seokwon brought him into a hug, just as Seohyun did the same to you, which should have felt awkward, but you were just so happy to share the news, so happy everyone was happy too, you didn’t bat an eyelid. Taeoh squealed and wrapped his arms around the tops of your thighs, happily yelling HI GIRL GLOB COUSIN to your bump, while Jiu looked at him oddly. 

(Deciding to tell him that nickname was the best thing you’d ever done. You were pretty sure it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.)

“Is your brother silly?” you’d asked her, crouching down as much as you could in an attempt to be eye level. You’d been rewarded with your first smile and a shy chuckle. You’d have this whole mother thing down in no time! 

Then on Monday, it was the office’s turn! Two days later they surprised you with a little party and a cake that said: ‘It’s a girl!’ in stereotypical pink icing, not that you didn’t love and appreciate it – cake was cake, and it was a very delicious cake at that! You were further surprised when you saw Seokjin walking through the door, Namjoon having secretly invited him, and your jaw practically dropped when later you saw him having a friendly conversation with Yoongi by the water cooler. 

The only ones you hadn’t told yet, was your family. The guilt had started to creep in when you’d told Seokjin’s, and had gradually, but surely grown worse as the week went by. They didn’t even know you were pregnant! The cruise had been out of your control, however you couldn’t help but wish you’d told them earlier. It had been a mistake to keep it from them this long. 

Thankfully though, your dad and Yeonja were now home, and you were almost certain that as soon as Yeonja had gotten through the front door – no, maybe sooner than that – she had lunged for the phone, calling you to organise lunch for Saturday. Every time you thought about it you felt a little sick. Of course, as it usually seemed to be, Saturday rolled around way too fast, and you had no other option but to put on your big girl pants (which were actually really stretchy ‘granny pants’ as Yuna called them.) You left to make the hour’s drive at half 11, your stomach twisting in anticipation. It was finally happening. 

Seokjin seemed nervous too, which wasn’t a surprise. He’d been quiet ever since he’d gotten a phone call from Hoseok as you were finishing off your makeup. You hadn’t heard the entire conversation because he’d slipped out of your bedroom to continue it, and when you’d asked him if everything was all right, he’d nodded and smiled. Maybe he’d been confiding in his best friend how anxious he was, not wanting to burden you. To show him you were in this together, you reached over to squeeze his thigh every once in a while, earning you a smile each time. 

.

.

The car journey too, seemed to go too fast. In no time at all Seokjin was pulling into the familiar driveway. 

“This is a really nice house,” Seokjin awed, as you rounded the car to meet him, a bottle of champagne in one of his hands. 

“My dad built it,” you explained, smiling as he continued to gaze up at it, an almost silent woah, slipping past his throat. 

It wasn’t anything elaborate, your father didn’t like anything over the top, but it was a great looking house. You’d been so jealous of it when you were a kid, although you could never work out why. As you got older it all made sense. You wanted to live in a house your father had built. 

Casting his gaze over to you, Seokjin smiled warmly. “Do you think he can build us a home one day?” 

He was joking, you thought, or maybe not, the glint in his eyes almost hopeful, earnest? It made your insides feel all funny, hard to describe the feeling, but you were grinning, your hand finding his free one, laughing quietly. “Ready?” 

“As I’ll ever be.” 

The sound of the door knocker hitting the wood matched the banging of your heart, and you took a slow, deep breath, psyching yourself up. These past few months had been a series of new and nerve-wracking situations, what was one more to add to the pile? 

Yeonja was on the door like a flash, yanking it open, smile wide. “____, honey.” Her eyes were on your face for a second tops, before they flew to your right, taking in the man wrought with discomfort beside you. “This must be Seokjin. Oh my,” — back at you again, a raised eyebrow of approval. You’d told her his name on the phone and she said it now with a practised ease. 

And then, the moment you’d been waiting for. Her gaze dropped, briefly, to your stomach, barely taking it in before she was directing that smile back to Seokjin, and then…then she had to do a double take. “Oh—” she exclaimed, the sound sharp and cutting off abruptly. 

“Surprise,” you sang, internally cringing at yourself. You might as well have added jazz hands. 

“You’re—You’re—” 

You nodded, pretty sure she had guessed you were pregnant by now. The hug she threw your way confirmed it, but it was over surprisingly quick, and she just stared at you in wild disbelief, her hands gripping your shoulders. You offered her a feeble smile, unsure what else to do, or to actually say. 

Yeonja turned her head, looking behind her, then snapped her neck back to you. She repeated. Then hugged you again. When she pulled back you were afraid she might be malfunctioning. “Minsoo!” she suddenly cried in hysteric excitement. “Look!”  

Your stomach twisted. Yeonja was one person, you still had three more to go, your father being one of them. Your stepmom ushered you both inside just as you heard your dad’s footsteps coming into the hallway. You smiled at him sheepishly when he came into view and stopped by the staircase. Instantly, his eyes found your bump. “What’s this?” 

He said it so quietly, so calmly, you needed a moment to collect yourself and remember how to speak. “Surprise,” you sang once again (WHY), weaker this time. You’d expected him not to have much of a reaction, but the instant disappointment you felt made your heart feel as though it weighed a ton.  

“Minsoo,” Yeonja gushed, “isn’t this amazing news?” 

Before he had a chance to respond, or to grunt his response, your brother appeared from the living room, a baseball cap on his head back to front. “What’s going on?” he asked, brows furrowed, and you noticed the game controller in his hand.

“Your sister is expecting,” Yeonja beamed, the back of her fingers pressed to her mouth in a bid to control her excitement. 

Jihoon’s brow only seemed to crinkle more, obviously confused by the word ‘expecting.’ Expecting what? A delivery? Then, he looked at you, really looked at you, his mouth dropping open. “Holy fuck.” He said each syllable emphatically. He tilted his chin, ignoring his mom’s whispered scolding, and shouted up the stairs. “Joo, get the hell down here now!” There was a pause. “JUEUN!” 

Then just as loud: “I’m still getting ready, asshole!” 

Beside you, Seokjin shifted, but you felt strangely stiff, unable to turn to acknowledge him. Yeonja tutted, no doubt embarrassed. You knew Seokjin wouldn’t bat an eyelid at this kind of behaviour, he and Jungkook often acted in the same way and they were in their thirties, not in their late teens. He was probably just feeling uncomfortable because you father hadn’t taken his eyes off you both since he’d appeared. You chose to pretend you hadn’t noticed. 

“You’re gonna wanna see this,” Jihoon shouted back. 

“See what? Is ____ here?” Ten seconds later you heard a door open and just as quickly, your sister was running down the stairs to greet you, smiling as she did so. She noticed almost immediately, stopping on the second to last step. “Oh my god,” she gasped. “You’re pregnant?!” With a squeal, she was launching herself into your arms. 

“Jueun, not too hard. You might hurt her,” Yeonja warned, but it didn’t stop her from joining in. A laugh bubbled from your throat as you wrapped your arms around each of their waists, making the three-way hug work. “Jihoon,” Yeonja beckoned, pulling away. “Congratulate your sister.” 

He reluctantly made his way over, obviously embarrassed, because you guessed showing a little sibling affection was mortifying for an 18-year-old. Still, he gave you a short hug, mumbling, “Congrats, ____.” 

As he stepped back, you realised Jueun had belatedly taken note of Seokjin’s presence, her face a little flushed as she pushed some hair behind her ear and smiled up at him shyly. “Joo, Ji, this is Seokjin,” you introduced, trying to control your amused smile. 

Seokjin raised a hand adorably. “Nice to meet you guys.” He seemed a little overwhelmed, but kept a smile on his face, glancing at your father. “You too, sir.” 

Yikes, probably a little too formal for your father’s liking. Not that he said. Well, not that he responded at all, actually.

Yeonja cleared her throat before it could get anymore awkward, probably picking up on the atmosphere. “Let’s all sit down. Lunch is almost ready and you need to be off your feet as much as possible, ____, standing in the doorway like this.” She shook her head, as if chiding herself. “Jihoon, set the table.” 

“Why me?” he whined. “I was in the middle of a game.” 

“Just do it,” she said forcibly, no room for argument, before beaming over at Seokjin. “Let me take this off you, Seokjin.” She reached for the champagne, pausing to read the label. “Oh, how lovely. Thank you. Very fancy,” she giggled. Giggled. 

Of course. You should have known Seokjin could win her over with only his face. 

“Jueun, go help your brother,” she directed at your sister, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to lead you inside the front room – the room that was reserved for guests. “I have so many questions.” 

“I want to hear the answers as well,” Jueun grumbled, looking put out. 

“Well, make it snappy then,” Yeonja suggested primly, before laughing so loudly it pierced your ears. 

.

.

Yeonja kept you talking well into lunch, it was a wonder you managed to eat at all. You filled her and Jueun in on all the little details of your pregnancy so far. How many months you were, that you were having a girl, what symptoms you had been, and were, suffering with. Even Jihoon listened with interest (until the symptoms part, that was.) Your father on the other hand stayed practically silent, sitting to your left at the top of the table. Any words he did say were few and far between, and always (reluctantly) prompted by Yeonja. A little voice in your head told you this was more than just being uninterested. He hadn’t cracked a smile once, his jaw set firmly. He was mad, everyone at the table knew that, but you couldn’t for the life of you understand why. 

“I wanted to tell you sooner,” you were telling Yeonja now, who was sat the opposite end of your dad. “But then I found out you and dad were going on that cruise and telling you on the phone seemed…” You trailed off guiltily, offering an apologetic smile. 

“That’s no problem, darling” Yeonja said with a smile. “How long have you known? Not long?” 

“Um. Actually, we’ve known quite early on,” you said awkwardly, now feeling even guiltier. “We didn’t want to say anything until it was safe, I guess. I didn’t want to jinx anything.” 

“Oh, ____, of course. We understand,” Yeonja replied, even if she did look a little shocked by your revelation. She turned her attention to Seokjin who was beside you. “And your parents, Seokjin, do they know yet?” 

“We told them around a month ago.” 

Yeonja shook her head. “That stupid cruise. I mean, it was a great cruise – We had a great time, didn’t we, honey?” Your dad grunted in response. “But I could have found out the news sooner!” 

“I can’t believe I’m going to be an aunt!” Jueun exploded, seated in front of you, making everyone laugh – sans one person. 

“What is it your parents do?” Yeonja asked Seokjin. 

“They’re retired actually,” he replied, wiping his mouth with his napkin. (A napkin?? Yeonja had really pulled out all the stops.) “Um. I own my own company, so I’m able to help out and provide for them. When they need it, of course,” he added awkwardly. He rarely liked talking about himself or his accomplishments, you’d long realised. 

“Oh. So filial,” Yeonja beamed, looking impressed. “Jihoon, are you taking note?” Jueun snicked beside him. “Are you going to own a company in the future and look after us?” 

Ignoring her, Jihoon asked Seokjin: “What’s the company?” 

“It’s a gaming company. You may have heard of it…Alpaca Gaming Studios?” 

Jihoon’s jaw dropped. “No fucking way!” 

“Language!” Yeonja clipped. 

“Mom, he owns one of the best gaming companies in the world,” Jihoon cried. Swearing was justified. 

“That might be a bit of an over exaggeration,” Seokjin chuckled. 

“This is fu—I mean, this is freaking crazy!” 

“So you’re famous?” Jueun asked, eyes wide. 

Seokjin full on laughed now. “Not quite. The games I helped create, maybe.” 

“They’re next level, dude,” Jihoon gushed. “I’ve been playing your games for years. Ever since I was a kid!” 

“They’re not just my games,” Seokjin stated modestly, but your brother was too far gone in his excitement to hear. 

“I’m googling you right now!”

“Let me seeeee,” Jueun whined, trying to look over his shoulder. 

“Get lost.” Jihoon nudged her away. “Woah. It really is you!” Holding up his phone, Seokjin’s face filled the screen. The same image you’d been met with when you too had googled his name all those months ago. 

“Oh, I should have my glasses…” Yeonja muttered. “Hold it closer, darling.” Yeonja practically leaned over the table. “A headshot! How handsome!” She glanced over at your dad. “Minsoo, are you seeing this? Your daughter’s boyfriend is a CEO.” 

“I see it.” 

Your stomach dropped at your dad’s tone, and you shared a surreptitious look with Jueun, who looked as unsure as you felt. Your dad seemed to have a problem with Seokjin? How and why? Seokjin shifted uncomfortably beside you, picking up on the vibe too, and you felt a twinge of embarrassment. How could your dad act this rude? 

“Jihoon, if you want, I can show you around the AGS building some time?” Seokjin suggested, trying his best to carry on as normal. 

“Foreal, dude?” Jihoon’s eyes were wide. 

Seokjin grinned. “Foreal.” 

“Can I come too?” Jeuen asked. 

“Sure.” 

“You don’t even play video games,” Jihoon shot, pulling a face. 

“I do!” 

“The Sims doesn’t count.” 

“Oh, come on,” Seokjin laughed. “It does. It’s a simulation game, just like BT21.” 

Despite the animosity radiating off your father in waves, it was nice to see Seokjin getting along with your siblings. You caught Yeonja’s eye and smiled. 

“BT21? That’s one of your games?” Jeuen asked. “Maybe I’ll buy it.” 

Seokjin shook his head. “No need to spend your money.” 

“She doesn’t have any money,” Jihoon scoffed. 

Seokjin chuckled. “I mean, I’ll get you a copy.” 

Jeuen beamed over at him. “Thank you, Seokjin.” 

You all managed to finish your meal, but conversation animatedly started back again halfway through dessert. This time however, it seemed your father wanted to join in… 

“Tell me more about your relationship,” Yeonja urged Seokjin. “How did you guys meet? When was it?” 

Jihoon groaned; the topic not nearly as interesting as AGS. 

“Oh,” Seokjin guffawed, put on the spot. He wasn’t the best at this, as you’d already established. Ten seconds of questions from Yeonja and he’d end up spilling all the sordid details. “We met at a bar.” 

“____ is always so secretive,” Yeonja joked. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s been hiding you away for years.”

“Hah, not quite.” 

“How long?” 

You were so surprised to finally hear your dad’s voice unprompted, it didn’t register at first. Seokjin’s eyes were slightly rounded when he met his gaze, swallowing before he replied. “Well…” 

“How long have you been together?” your dad repeated flatly. 

“Minsoo,” Yeonja said, the smile on her face painful looking. 

“I just want to know how long he’s been dating my daughter.” 

Jihoon fidgeted in his seat, sensing the atmosphere immediately. Jueun looked at you, wincing. 

“It’s more than dating, dad,” you said as casually as you could manage. Practically the first words you’d uttered to him all afternoon.  

When his palm hit the table, you jumped. It hadn’t been loud, but it took you by surprise anyway. “Will someone just answer my question, please. How long has it been?” 

Frustrated and growing angry, you knew you needed to at least leak some of the truth. Your father wasn’t like Yeonja, happily blinded by the news of your relationship. He’d already guessed the answer. “A couple of months. Okay?” You hadn’t meant to raise your voice, but you were suddenly feeling defensive. “I got pregnant when we weren’t together. Not that it matters, because now we are and are very happy.” It felt as though you had to justify yourself, and you hated it. It felt forced. 

“Oh, well,” Yeonja started, trying for damage control. “That doesn’t matter at all—”

“I can’t believe this has happened. How could you let this happen, ____?” 

Your father’s words burned shame across your face, your skin prickling. Or maybe it was anger. Red hot anger. He sounded so disappointed in you. 

“Minsoo,” Yeonja warned lowly, no longer smiling. Beside you, Seokjin was stiff. 

“No, Yeonja. I’m sorry for doing this, but do you really expect me to just sit here and listen to all this nonsense?” 

Seokjin cleared his throat, speaking respectfully. “I know it’s a shock but—” 

“I don’t need you to tell me what’s a shock.” 

“Dad!” you cried, incredulous. How dare he speak to Seokjin like that. 

“How, ____?” he demanded again. “How could you have a baby with a stranger?” 

“Seokjin is not a stranger!” you shouted. You looked around the table, your siblings silent and nervous. Yeonja was glowering at your father. “This is ridiculous. I’m nearly thirty years old!” 

“You are still my daughter!” 

“Minsoo, please. This is not the time and place,” Yeonja hissed. 

“Then what is? After she’s had the baby?!” your dad yelled. “After this man has grown bored of her, moved onto the next woman who catches his eye, gets them pregnant too, maybe?!”

Too stunned, too hurt, you didn’t know what to say to that, you could only stare at him open mouthed.

“Minsoo!” 

“That is never going to happen,” Seokjin said beside you, addressing your father’s ridiculous claims. Despite everything, he still spoke diplomatically. “I understand I’m a stranger to you right now, but you have this situation all wrong. I care about ____ and our baby very much.” 

“I have nothing wrong, believe you me. I know your type. You think you can come inside my home and charm my entire family right in front of me? All while I’ve been oblivious to the charming you’ve been doing to my pregnant daughter this whole time. Do you think I’m a joke?” 

You realised then that your eyes were stinging with tears, but you held them back with all your might. 

“That’s enough!” Yeonja yelled, standing up. “Jihoon, Jueun, get upstairs. I need to talk to your father.”

For once, neither put up a fight, standing quickly and leaving the dining room in silence. As you heard them walk upstairs, Yeonja came over to you and put her arm around your shoulders. One hot tear slid down your cheek, and you wiped it away quickly. “Look what you’ve done. This is so embarrassing, Minsoo!” Yeonja cried. “Would it kill you to be happy for her? For them?!” 

“Happy?” he roared. “Happy for what? That some rich, pompous ‘CEO’ has impregnated my daughter?! Oh yeah, I’m over the fucking moon, Yeonja.”

When you sniffed, Seokjin turned to look at your face, realising that you were crying. “Maybe we should talk alone?” he suggested to your father calmly. “You’re upsetting your daughter.” 

Your father’s eyes flashed with anger, before softening briefly when they found yours. He looked down at the table and snarled. “Fine.” 

Before Yeonja could help you up, Seokjin reached over and rubbed your back. “You’re okay.” You tried to let his soothing voice reassure you. “It’s all right, I promise.”  

A few moments later you were sat on the couch with Yeonja, a protective arm still around you as your tears fell silently. “Oh, ____, honey. Don’t cry. It’s all okay.” 

“How is it okay?” Your voice broke at the end of your question. “Dad is so angry.” ‘

She squeezed your shoulder. “Not at you.”

“Being angry at Seokjin doesn’t make it any better,” you sniffed, and just thinking of him made your heart clenched. This was so unfair to him. You wiped your eyes defiantly. “I need to go back in there.” 

“Just leave them for a moment. It’ll be fine.” 

The sick feeling in your gut didn’t tell you the same, but you knew that your father wasn’t an aggressive man. Then again, you’d never seen him this angry before. His reaction was still shocking, you hadn’t processed it. He was usually quiet, even when furious. When you were a child, one stern look from him had you instantly behaving. He had never even raised his voice at you, and even when arguing with your mom, he chose to leave and cool off instead of continuing the verbal confrontation. 

Yeonja brought you into a hug, and you let yourself close your eyes. You could smell her familiar powdery perfume. Ever since you’d known her, twenty-two years, it had always been the same one. It made you feel comforted, even if just for a moment. 

“Your emotions must be all over the place with all the pregnancy hormones,” she murmured. “Mine went haywire with Jihoon and Jueun, your dad didn’t know what to do.” 

It’s not really the same though, you wanted to reply, but stopped yourself. Your emotions had been perfectly fine until you’d shown up here today, but you knew that wasn’t Yeonja’s fault. Right now, she was only trying to make you feel better. To distract you, even. So you just let her. 

.

.

Seokjin took a deep breath, trying to be as discreet as possible. He wasn’t afraid, but he still needed to steel himself. If he was being honest, he’d expected a not so warm welcome from your father, call it intuition, despite how much you’d believed he would be indifferent. Still, he hadn’t imagined such anger. Seokjin couldn’t recall a time he’d been so unfairly judged, couldn’t recall someone being this incensed with him. He had never been in a physical altercation in his life, and while he didn’t actually believe your father would hit him, this day had been full of surprises. So, his default was to diffuse the situation. 

“I understand why you’re so angry, I would be too if I was in your shoes.” 

It wasn’t exactly the news every dad wanted to hear, was it? Their daughter pregnant by a man they hardly knew at the time. By a stranger. He’d said so himself. How could you have a baby with a stranger? You’d long stopped feeling like strangers, but at the time, it was the truth. Seokjin tried to envision the same thing happening to him in the future. His daughter, all grown up, telling him an identical story. Minsoo’s reaction wasn’t unjustified. He too, would be furious. 

Minsoo stayed silent, regarding him stonily from the other side of the table, so Seokjin continued uneasily. It was up to him to sort this out, to make your father see he had nothing to worry about. “I get it, I really do, but… What can I do to make you see it’s not like that at all?” 

In all honesty, he wasn’t so confident this approach would work, according to Minsoo, he was a master manipulator… 

“Nothing,” he replied gruffly, and Seokjin let out a frustrated breath. That was it? This man wasn’t going to give him a single chance to change his mind? 

“Then that’s a shame, because I plan on being in your daughter’s life for a very long time,” Seokjin said as effortlessly as he could manage. It didn’t matter if Minsoo didn’t like him, didn’t want to accept him. Yet even as Seokjin thought that, he felt uncomfortable. Seokjin liked being liked. Many a therapy session had made that clear. 

More silence followed, and while Seokjin was sure it wasn’t a good silence, at least your father didn’t seem as heated anymore. Seokjin followed him with his eyes when Minsoo suddenly stood up, making his way over to a wooden mini bar. He reached out for a bottle of whisky, but didn’t open it, only stared down at it. 

“How well do you know ____?” 

Seokjin swallowed, unable to tell if that was a dig at him because he hadn’t known you very long, or if it was a genuine question. Before he could reply, your father continued. 

“When she was six, me and her mother got divorced.” Seokjin nodded, showing he knew this already. Not that Minsoo could see him, his back still turned. “We weren’t together very long before we found out Hyesoo was pregnant, we rushed things, thought it was the right thing to do. It wasn’t.” 

Seokjin’s eyebrows pinched together in realisation. Minsoo was telling him the same would happen to you and him. 

“____ didn’t take it very well. She didn’t take my second marriage very well either,” Minsoo continued. “She never said anything, that’s not her style. But I knew… She wanted to be there for her mom, be on her side. I understood that. I still do.” 

“Her and her mom seemed very close,” Seokjin offered, trying to show how engaged he was in this conversation. 

“They were,” Minsoo nodded, finally turning around. “Like two peas in a pod. ____ even stayed at home for university, just so she didn’t have to leave her. They had a close relationship, but it was also very…dependant.” Minsoo paused, thinking how to continue. 

“I don’t know if ____ sees it like that.” 

“No, she doesn’t,” Minsoo agreed. “____ was all Hyesoo had, and I think that made ____ feel as if Hyesoo had to be all she had too. Or maybe I’ve had it wrong all these years.” He chuckled dryly, shaking his head. “Maybe my own daughter just really can’t stand to be near me too long.” 

Seokjin frowned, he didn’t think that was the case, remembering back to the semi-fond way you’d spoken about your father the morning after you’d finally slept together again. But was it his place to say? Your relationship seemed complicated, both you and your father under false presumptions. 

“My daughter is admirably independent and so emotionally strong. Just like…” Minsoo trailed off, starting again. “But that doesn’t mean she’s not sensitive, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t hurt. After Hyesoo’s death, she wasn’t right for a long time, had to get counselling.” 

Seokjin’s eyebrows lifted in surprise; he hadn’t known that. Although, what happened after your mother’s passing didn’t exactly come up in conversation very much. 

“Even then, she withdrew from me even more. I let it slide because I knew she had her friends, Yuna mostly and her family. She was doing well again, but…” Minsoo stared at him, warning written all over his face. “She doesn’t deserve anymore heartbreak. She’s already had enough of it to last a lifetime. No child should lose a parent that young, but she came out the other side. Always does, because she’s incredible like that.” 

The corner of Seokjin’s mouth lifted, a sad smile. “Have you ever told ____ all those things? I think she would like to hear them.” Everybody craved and enjoyed being praised by a parent, no matter how old they were. 

Minsoo shook his head and turned towards the mini bar again. 

Seokjin opened his mouth hesitantly. He didn’t want to speak for you, but some things needed to be said. “She wasn’t expecting your reaction today.” 

He could tell it had taken you by surprise and upset you greatly. Just seeing you cry had physically hurt him, as it always did, and he knew it had hurt your father too. Your family dynamic wasn’t at all what he’d imagined. It was normal, and loud, and…fun. (Minus the angry father part, but Seokjin knew that was all because of himself.) It was obvious Yeonja adored you and you seemed to have a good relationship with your siblings. Maybe you weren’t so close with Jihoon, but with Jueun, he’d felt that sisterly bond, noticed your shared glances, doing that telepathy thing you and Yuna did, the kind he wanted with you. It didn’t matter if you didn’t see them all that often, they loved you all the same, and you loved them too, and it was so glaringly obvious now, that Minsoo loved and cared about you deeply. He showed it in the wrong way, anger never got a person anywhere, but Seokjin could see it. He wanted you to see it too… 

When Minsoo didn’t reply, Seokjin tried again. “She was so certain you’d be unbothered by the news.” Seokjin didn’t want to overstep, but he thought you were under that impression because your father showed no active interest in your life. 

Minsoo whirled around incredulously. “Unbothered?!” He was angry again. “Why would I ever accept this? I’m not my wife who romanticises everything! This wasn’t how I wanted things for her.” 

Seokjin looked down at the table, the sight of dessert making him feel sick. He’d been doing so well, getting somewhere possibly, and now he was back at square one. 

“I don’t want to watch a repeat of everything that went wrong with me and her mother.” 

Seokjin’s eyes flew up, just like the anger that suddenly collected in his chest. “I’m not going to hurt her.” 

“How do I know that?” 

‘She knows that.” That was all that mattered. He had to keep reminding himself. 

“Why does she think she knows that?” Minsoo countered. “What did you promise her? All that money… You think you can just buy her affections? Fuck, I thought she was smarter than that.” 

Seokjin tried to get a hold of himself. It would do him no favours if he started raising his voice too, but he hated hearing what your dad was saying. You were smart. Getting pregnant didn’t erase that. He took a deep breath. 

“I don’t think that at all. I don’t need to buy anything, and ____ would never let me.” He chuckled humourlessly. “How well do you think you know your daughter?” The question rushed from his mouth before he could stop it, but he didn’t feel regret. Instead, anger spurred him on. “Five months. That’s how long I’ve known her, and in that time, I’ve never once seen you call her, text her, anything.” 

All the fight seemed to zap right out of Minsoo, shoulders hunching. When he spoke, he sounded embarrassed. “We don’t have that kind of relationship. We don’t do talking on the phone, messaging… I can just about use a phone.” 

His excuses made Seokjin’s nostrils flare. “All ____ wants is a family. Me, her and our daughter. I want that just as much.” If not more, at one point, Seokjin thought privately. He had hoped for this, wished, for this outcome. How dare this man assume otherwise. “Maybe if you had done more, you’d know that all already.” 

Seokjin was playing with fire, he knew that, but he was glad he’d said it. It was how he felt, how he’d silently perceived the situation for weeks now. How were you supposed to know how your father really felt when he never told you a thing? Yes, maybe you had always been distant, taking your mother’s side, but you had been a child. You were his child. He was the adult. He should have made more of an effort, instead of letting his daughter think he didn’t care about her life all that much. He would say this too, if he had bigger balls. 

Big balls have nothing to do with it, he heard Jungkook’s voice say, but it did little to lighten the mood. 

Minsoo narrowed his eyes accusingly. “Who are you to tell me what I should have done? Are you an expert on our life? You’ve known her five minutes, not thirty years.” 

“I may have only known her for a short amount of time, but it doesn’t feel like that. We, she—we talk to each other a lot. I know things. We’ve really gotten to know one another.” You opened up to him. It had taken a while, but you trusted him now. “It’s been intense,” Seokjin continued, less defensive now, “with the pregnancy, but it’s made it better, it’s worked out. It’s continuing to work out.” He held Minsoo’s gaze, expression severe. “I care about your daughter a lot—more than a lot. She’s strong, so clever, admirable. I don’t…maybe I don’t deserve her, she’s amazing, but I want to try, I want this. So maybe it doesn’t matter if you don’t accept us.” 

If you don’t accept me, he thought. 

He didn’t need it, he tried to remind himself. He was thirty-four years old, and he didn’t need everyone to like him. He didn’t need to be accepted by everyone. Other people’s acknowledgement wasn’t everything. But it was hard to believe when the one person he needed that approval from was unwilling to give it. This was your father. However, because of that fact, he wasn’t going to let Minsoo see how much being liked by him mattered. It would do him no good to come across as desperate. He’d said his piece, and he’d lick his wounds when he was alone. 

He'd have plenty of time to be alone next week, he remembered glumly, his phone call with Hoseok this morning yet another issue in now a sea of many… 

.

.

The car ride home was made in silence. You leaned your head against the window and closed your eyes almost immediately, but you weren’t really asleep, just mentally exhausted. Seokjin only concentrated on the road, his jaw set tight and visibly tense. 

After Seokjin reappeared, Yeonja had apologised profusely. He’d assured her it was fine and wasn’t her fault, but he seemed subdued, and wouldn’t look you in the eyes properly when you told him you wanted to leave. He was upset, and that just made this entire situation worse and hurt you even more. Yeonja tried to persuade you to stay and talk to your dad, but you refused. He hadn’t even left the dining room, which told you all you needed to know. Telling Yeonja there was no need for her to call you tonight because you didn’t feel like talking, you asked her to say goodbye to Jueun and Jihoon for you. You couldn’t face doing it in person right now. 

When you finally arrived outside your house, you tugged the door handle, unsure what you would do when you got inside, but needing it all the same. You needed the comfort of your own home, the familiar smell, the furniture that had always been there. You realised then that Seokjin hadn’t moved at all, even though he’d switched the engine off. You turned to look at him quizzically. 

“Hey, I think I might head back to my apartment.” His voice was hoarse, not having spoken for over an hour. 

“Oh,” you managed. Rejection hit you, but you tried really hard to ignore it. You forced yourself to smile reassuringly. “That’s okay.” Seokjin didn’t respond. “Listen Seokjin, I am so sorry about what happened.” 

He finally looked over at you, disbelief on his face. “It’s not your fault.” 

It felt like it was. “I was the one who told you he wouldn’t care. I thought it would be fine.” 

“Why did you think that, ____?” he asked softly. “Because you don’t realise how much your father loves you?” 

Frowning, you didn’t understand what he was getting at. “What?” For some incomprehensible reason, your first instinct was anger. “I know my dad loves me, Seokjin. He’s just—I thought he’d be okay with it.” 

You thought he’d be happy with the news, in his own roundabout way. How wrong you were… That’s why you were so upset. His reaction had been the complete opposite of what you’d imagined. Indifference was so much better than rage. 

Seokjin said nothing, so you asked: “What did he say? When you were alone?” 

Seokjin bowed his head and shook it slowly, both hands gripping the wheel. He was reluctant to tell you, and all you could do was worry about all the things that had been said. 

“I think maybe he should be the one to tell you,” Seokjin said finally, glancing at you. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You didn’t want to take your frustration out on Seokjin, but he was the one you trusted, the one you felt comfortable with, like you could share anything with him. So why couldn’t he tell you what had happened when he and your father were alone? Unless… 

Maybe Seokjin was too hurt and embarrassed to repeat their conversation. You reached over, a reassuring hand on his knee. “I don’t care what my dad thinks. You understand that, right?” you told him gently. 

Seokjin stared down at your hand, looking visibly exhausted. “I’m just feeling very overwhelmed right now. I need to be alone, to sort through everything.” 

You tried not to feel hurt by what he was telling you, you tried to understand, but right now he wanted to be on his own, and you didn’t. You had become used to being your own support over the years, but Seokjin by your side had helped reinforce you. You wanted to be with him, so it was painful to know he didn’t want your support right now. 

“Will I see you tomorrow?” you asked. 

You watched him shake his head, your mouth parting in shock, and you removed your hand from his knee. “I mean,” he rushed, noticing and sounding remorseful. “I mean, shit, that phone call I had with Hoseok this morning? I need to leave for Japan tomorrow afternoon.” 

“What?” Surely he was playing a joke on you. 

He closed his eyes. “There’s a gaming convention next week. I was due to appear by video, but there was a change of plan this morning. They need me there.” 

“You’re leaving for an entire week?” you asked in disbelief. 

“I was going to tell you as soon as we got back. I didn’t want to ruin today…” 

You both lapsed into silence hearing the irony of that now. 

“So you’re just going to leave,” you whispered after a few moments. “Without talking about this? Jump on a plane tomorrow, and then what?” 

You’d act as if nothing had happened when he got back? Or worse, what if your father’s behaviour scared him off? As soon as you thought that, you shook it away. You were being ridiculous. That would never happen. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologised. “I’ll message you every day, check in. I don’t know how often I’ll be able to phone, but I’ll try to—,” 

“It’s fine,” you interrupted, trying to be understanding. “Messaging is enough if you’re very busy—Well, of course you’ll be very busy.” 

He nodded, not meeting your eyes, and you were suddenly overcome with a feeling of hopelessness. You were usually the closed off one, not Seokjin. Seeing him like this was disconcerting. You felt sick with unease. How had this day turned out so terrible? Yeonja had been happy for you, your brother and sister had been happy for you. Everyone you knew was happy for you. So why couldn’t your own father be? 

“Seokjin, talk to me,” you pleaded, trying once again and taking one of his hands. “I don’t care what my dad thinks,” you repeated slowly. 

“But I do,” he said with a resigned sigh. 

You wanted to tell him he didn’t have to. You wanted to feel frustrated, but you couldn’t, because if things had been the opposite way around, his family not accepting you, you would have felt the same way too. Those few scary moments when his mom had found out, they were nothing compared to your dad’s reaction today. 

“I’ll see you in a week then?” You wanted it to be an assertion, but it came out more like a question. Seokjin nodded. “Message me before your flight takes off?” 

“I will,” he replied, managing a small smile. 

You hesitated, wanting to reach over and hug him more than anything, but you settled on a quick kiss to his cheek and slowly got out of the car. You hadn’t missed the way he’d sadly closed his eyes as he felt your lips on his skin, as though attempting to savour the feeling. 

Your legs felt wobbly as you walked to your door. 

Written 2022. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2022

[hansensgirl]

hi bestie sab !!

seeing your post about romcoms has me thinking which cevans character would best fit a romcom ? aside from cutie neighbour Colin, I feel like Steve would do so good 🥹🥹 extra points if it’s with preserum!steve bc that angel deserves so much love !! who do you think would be the perfect fella for a romcom ?

hi sonny-shine!!! 🫶🥰🥰

omg i LOVE this question!!! eee ok i got some answers!! you’re so right about steve—i can see friends-to-lovers with him!

my other choices are:

jake jensen!!

jakey is such a sweet puppy who would do anything for his girl. i’m thinking something where the girl he’s interested in is quite aloof, and he has a hard time with words, so there’s a lot of trial and error. some sadness when he explodes with love and admits it in a rant, but they eventually find themselves back together.

ransom drysdale

DUH!!! either with someone who is really similar to him or determined to change him. maybe her friends made a bet since she has a reputation for changing ppl! he denies his feelings so much, and so does she, but in a dramatic scene where he defends her from his family, he admits his feelings for her.

johnny storm

with someone who puts him in his place all the time!! she doesn’t have time for his shenanigans. maybe she’s been hired by his family to keep him in order, or he’s working for her for a little while. he’s trying to melt her cold heart, and she’s trying to keep him out of hot water.

ari levinson/andy barber

she magically scores a date with a highly sought-after man. OR OR she’s a waitress, and his date is just being a pain, so they make conversation, and he kinda pays for her time. all she has to do is play his girlfriend for a little while so his family can stop worrying about him settling down and the press can stop prying into his love life.

and lastly, frank adler!

kinda the reverse of the johnny storm idea, except frank is constantly set up on dates and never connects with them like he does with the restaurant’s bartender! the bartender is forced to watch him meet his potential match and is lowkey elated when it’s a bust. one night they get a bit drunk and she ends up sleeping with him. he’s embarrassed and is worried he’ll end up confessing his feelings so he changes restaurants until he sees her at some party he was invited to and she’s doing a little bartending gig or whatever. they have a fresh start and pretend it’s one of his silly little dates!

this was so so much fun omg thank you so much for sending this ask bby!! 🫶🤍💗💓💓🥰

[dreams-in-blxck]

Fucking Valentine’s 🏹

Summary: you ask Bucky on a date for Valentine's but... it didn't went as planed.

Bucky x plus-size* female reader

*From now on everything that I (could) write will be plus size readers cause we are beautiful and deserve a super soldier to cuddle.

Warinigs: alcohol (not drunk tho), swearing, pure fluff, and I this that’s all.

WC: 1K

I had this thought while I was watching tiktok, those pov’s can get you thinking lol. This is just a silly little love story based in no other but Taylor Swift’s You belong to me. Hope you enjoy! Please reblog so more people can enjoy it!

FYI: English is not my first language, any mistakes im sorry I always get blocks when writing and I use preschool vocabulary, if anyone wants to edit it feel free to reach out, ill love you forever :)

Valentine’s Day was never something you used to care of, not even when you were with someone. You never really loved anyone, not romantically really. But as always something changed. A tall-handsome-beefy-mouthwatering super soldier stepped a foot in the compound. In the beginning he was like a lost puppy and you kind of understood him. Steve told you about him once they got back from Wakanda and fitting Thanos, but now Steve was gone. A new Captain America appeared and lost his tittle after killing a flag smasher.

You tried your best in the beginning to befriend him, which was hard but once he started talking and accepting help from Sam he opened to you too. He tried to talk to you as much as he could while he was away. Your friendship was something both of you could relay on, except for the fact that you had fall for him a while ago. And of course you didn’t tell him, but in defense you were thinking about all the different outcomes that could happen.

——————

It was February 10th and you decided you were going to ask Bucky on a date for valentines. He told you a while back how he find the dating situation odd in this century. So you made a plan to ask him and do everything in the compound since it was really lonely and sad lately. A cute but simple homemade dinner, some 40’s dancing, which you have to practice, and some cheese romcoms. Sadly Pepper came to the compound and ask you to come with her for some business she was wrapping up, and as her assistant you had to go.

——————

February 14th had arrived, it was not much after twelve so you reached the kitchen were you knew Bucky was at.

“Hi Buck” you said reaching the kitchen. He was looking for something in the fridge, a snack perhaps.

“Hey y/n. How it went down with Pepper?” He said grabbing a water bottle.

“It was fine, I mean I just go to grab her bag, she’s a super woman, I’m literally like a keychain” you snorted making him laugh.

You both went silent. “Hey Buck?” He looked at you, “I-uh I was wondering if you wouldliketogooutwithme” you let out so fast. “Sorry I- would you like to go on a date, today?” He raised his eyebrows mouth slightly open. “I- doll, I’m sorry, i already have a date, but- I would love next week, is that ok?” Your could literally feel your heart stop. “Yes. No problem Buck, I gotta go, i have some work” you tried your best not to let your emotion show as you basically sprinted out of there.

You spent the whole day in you room, sad movies on, a bottle of wine on your hand.

You heard went he left a few hours ago his cologne still on the air. You sighed sitting up. You were tired of being in you room so you moved to the open living room were you could see the city and some of the greenery, the sunset in full display in front of you. “Pathetic” you murmured. You used to give to shits about this day, it meant nothing to you. Now you were two second from crying but you were stronger you will not cry.

You were sitting on the floor, enjoying the view after you asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to play your sad playlist, eyes scanning the skyline. Meanwhile Bucky was defiantly not joying himself in the overcrowded restaurant. He realized everyone was just faking their happiness, the girl infront oh too. She was on her phone constantly, he assumed she was taking videos and photos to post later on her instagram, how fake. He didn’t even knew why he accepted to go out with him, not when he was going to ask you to have a date with him, but the gentleman in him screamed at him to not deny the girl. How stupid he was. “I’m so sorry Chrishell, I gotta go, its an emergency” he said after watching the hour in his phone, he needed to redeem his decision. She didn’t look happy at the sudden interruption. But he didn’t wait for her respond, he was already in his car.

____________

Another sip to the almos half-emptied bottle of wine took over your lips while some Taylor Swift’s song was playing. The sun already set. You stood up the wine making effect on your brain, you started to sing along, “Oh, I remember you driving to my house, in the middle of the night. I’m the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry” that damn verse always breaking you up. “And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams. Think I know where you belong. Think I know it's with me” the song resembling to all those late nights when you comforted him, helped him, believed, and loved him. And then he had the audacity to go out with someone else, fucking asshole, you thought.

“Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you? Been here all along. So, why can't you see? You belong with me”.

“I do see y/n” you stopped singing, turning to face the voice. Face red and eyes wide. Thats was so embarrassing. “I- uh-”. “Don’t” he cut you off, “I was an idiot not to accept the date, doll. Would you forgive this stupid old man and please let me belong to you” he walked across the room to put his hands around you. You looked up to him, a beautiful smile appearing in your face making him smile to, you could only nod. You closed the distance finally fulfilling your fantasies, kissing him, your hands grabbing his cheeks and tip toeing in the process. He hugged you and lifted you making you stop kissing him and your eyes once again going wide, “I can handle you, im a super soldier” he winked, making you both laughed. What a fucking Valentine’s Day.

[miraclerizuin]

it might be about junk food and diet culture but it might also be about the media we value or don't value and i guess it could be about childhood and children's books and offering them the respect they deserve, could it possibly be about all three? how are we going to manage that?

sometimes i just want to read fanfic. like, quick fluffy fanfic for a fandom im not that obsessed with currently but have a long history with, about characters who are pretty cool but not my faves, because it is a casual thing and i have struggled to pick up a book for months.

it's not "just" fanfic. it is a specific remedy for a specific ailment. ive had enough of apologism and In Defense of Fanfic as if every fanfic is in need of the same defense, as if after all these years one more thinkpiece will finally succeed in Demanding To Be Taken Seriously.

i dont want to discuss or debate the snacks i keep in my desk drawer. they are a necessary part of my routine, because planning balanced meals is a challenge for me, and i get hungry unpredictably, and in order for them to work, they have to be things i want to eat that are easy to keep in stock and easy to eat on the go. so they are cakes! they are little cakes and on a bad day i eat too many and sometimes i get a tummyache. not all of this is ideal. but i thought about fluff fanfic as junk food and i thought no, it is what i need right now. junk food is sometimes what i need to eat, too, so how can it be junk?

i dont want to talk about sugar. my snack drawer is not the global sugar industry. it is my emotional support snack drawer that helps me do my job.

maybe if somebody can invent a fresh fruit that is individually wrapped and can be eaten in under a minute with little-to-no mess, i will consider a change to my snack routine (I love fresh fruit)

this is getting rambly.

im saying we need to revisit the entire paradigm. we need to reevaluate what we think is junk. the role of junk in the personal ecosystem. im not reading fanfic to make me a better writer (except when i am) and im not reading children's books to make me a better children's librarian (except when i am). stop saying it's good (for a children's book) stop saying it doesn't matter because it's a children's book stop saying it's bad because it's a children's book DO YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN? DO YOU RESPECT THEM AS HUMAN BEINGS? WHY WOULD YOU NOT GIVE THEM GOOD ART SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ARE SMALLER AND NEWER THAN YOU?

and ohhhhh it is so far past my bedtime let us not even get started on the teens. dismiss anybody whose taste you disagree with or whose book you couldn't get into - it's sooooo YA, maybe teenage girls would like it but nobody GROWNUP, nobody who MATTERS. christ alive. youre not better than the people reading YA! why on earth would you be! (and do not even start ok i have seen the ya book ppl who have their own sense of superiority and they're being silly too. im here to talk about ALL OF IT.)

because im talking about pop music and horror movies and romcoms and country music and audiobooks and anime and superhero movies and science fiction and chicklit and im talking about ALL OF IT!!! when we put something down we call it juvenile which is also literally the name of the section of books i am in charge of at the library. childish immature etc. my eight-year-old library patron stepped on a single cheese cracker on the carpeted floor and came and got me and asked for the broom and dustpan. like what the fuck. imagine caring that much. imagine not being so tired. i love her. it's past my bedtime

i have something to say but im not sure what it is yet, ill keep you posted

[jakeowen]

in your opinion what’s the worst and best season and episodes of greys. ive been rewatching and forgot how good the early stuff is. season 1 is my absolute fave bc it’s so ridiculous but everyone actually looks tired (well tv tired)which no one even goes for these days on network tv and everyone is so young and mean and self righteous, i love it. season 5 is second runner up bc they’re just doing whatever but still keeping it cohesive. unlike s9 and beyond where it’s clear abc’s having an AI do the writing idk.

oooooh i'm gonna kick a hornet's nest. scorching hot take: season 8 is the best season. well, ok not the best but the most fun. like i'm a sucker for the tone/vibe of the early seasons (2-5) but season 8 has the highest concentration of characters and relationships and dynamics that i like (peak twisted sisters, mark/callie/arizona coparenting, lexie and mark, april being insane, arizona teaching alex, merder early parenthood, PLASTICS POSSE) and even though it's in between the shooting and the plane crash, the season itself serves silly romcom vibes with a strong dose of found family. but i do agree with you that season 5 is a strong second. i think there's still some merit in seasons 9-12, because i'm an alex karev stan first and a person second and i love the entire s9 class of residents. but after that it's off the fucking rails. fwiw i think seasons 14 and 15 were rock bottom, because not only were they bad and boring and stupid and a circlejerk of owen hunt hurting women who deserve better, they also were literally not about anything.

i don't think i can choose best episodes because there are simply so many episodes and usually the ones i enjoy most are the ones where they just like, hang out and maybe do some surgery, but my favorite Huge Event is deeeeeeefinitely bomb in a body cavity. nothing else ever quite rose to that exact balance of high stakes, pure silliness, and kyle chandler being there. and bad episodes are mostly just boring episodes so hard to pick a worst, but i will say, i cannot stand the one where they all just tell stories to stay awake in surgery. snooze. nobody even kisses

[siriusstarx]

My internet semi exile allowed me to finish Variable Barricade at record speed, anyway.

Overall it was a good story. The characters are definitely quirky and colorful. The LI dynamics especially interesting, and the heroine unique. I didn’t think I’d like any of the LI at the beginning, but they became more endearing as their stories unfolded. This is not my kind of story at all, but it was fun to play.

I expected not to like Taiga at all, but I enjoyed his personality and dynamic with Hibari. He is probably the only one who can be called mostly ‘normal’ out of these guys. Normal doesn’t mean boring, however. He’s definitely got a little spice. He will definitely broaden Hibari’s horizons and lead her out of her cloistered little world.

I thought Nayuta would be tiresome in the extreme, but he was probably the most fun and funniest. He’s not the brightest, but the silly puppy was endearing and I think he had the most fun ending. Also, it is far too rare to see a heroine take charge of her LI like that! He’s a pup who needs a lot of obedience training, but I think they were surprisingly good together… and maybe she’ll find she likes stepping on him occasionally. 😂

My initial impression of Ichiya was that he was gratingly tedious and false. He was hard to read with all those cheesy pick up lines, but his story was definitely the best and most complex. Some of the heavier themes were a bit timidly handled, and probably could have been explored in a darker way. It contained a couple of scenes that were truly shocking for such an (otherwise up to that point) lighthearted game. Those scenes deserved thoughtful handling, and Ichiya is a fragile soul who will need help. Although I liked him a lot, I don’t think he’s the best match for Hibari. He would be better with someone more mature. He has some similarities to Virche’s Yves.

Shion is Sexy. That’s enough.

Okay, maybe not quite enough. 😂 There’s a lot profoundly questionable stuff referenced in this route that is basically ignored. I wondered if it was cultural differences or something? From my PoV, Shion was objectified as a child and then used as some sort of consort by these ‘patrons’ who desired him?! He was imprisoned and forced to do things? I was like… wait a minute… Are we talking about what I think we are talking about here?!? Nobody in the game seemed to bat an eye or consider all this horrifying? WTF? Even Shion seems OK with his past. Maybe he just has a personality that accepts what was done to him as long as he’s needed, but still… It’s some shocking stuff for a lightweight story, and it is never dealt with at all.

Aside from all that, though, Shion is undeniably Sexy. Absolutely SEXY. OMG. He has some questionable personality quirks, but he’s so hot in all the right ways that I almost didn’t care. The way he is at the end reminded me strongly of Saint in FB, although he doesn’t have the depth or complexity of Saint. He’s still absolutely attractive, and definitely my favorite.

Secret route: Yeah…. That’s a ‘no’ from me. Moving on!

Anything I say would be spoilery, but the ’Creepy/questionable’ theme that appears every so often in this game was definitely in force.

Variable Barricade had some similarities to Cupid Parasite, but it didn’t quite have the depth of that story. The characters are definitely it’s strength. The story arc for the routes are all almost identical, which makes the later routes extremely predictable. It wasn’t a bad follow-up to the heaviness of Virche. It is a fun little romcom that flirts with some darker themes without actually confronting them. It is fun, but it’s best not to expect TOO much from it. I definitely enjoyed it, and miss it now that I’m done.

[troutpopulation]

On Borrowed Time - MTMTE Megatron x Reader

•

Synopsis: With the verdict of the trial looming over head, and the fact that humans don't live that long, you decide there isn't any time to lose, and to make things official with Megatron while you still have the chance.

(contains original poetry written with love, and conjunx ritus! :^D )

Notes: kaixo i wanna marry Megatron and nothing will stop me. also if you didn't catch it the title is a play on political/philosophical treatises being often called "On ______".

While Megatron was at a meeting, you had hit the bar. It was one of your favorite spots on the ship, right next to windowsill down the hall. You sat atop the counter, listening to Rewind and Chromedome spin you a tale about Prowl. They brought up that their story happened around the time they'd just gone through with conjunx ritus. You perked up at the unfamiliar term. Conjunx Endura you were familiar with,however, you had never heard of the former.

“Uh, sorry, alien here. What's Conjunx Ritus?” You piped up, awkwardly raising a hand.

“It’s the steps bots take to become conjunx endurae.” Chromedome replied, his partner nodding in agreement. Ok. Robot marriage proposals.

“There are acts to it, four actually. Act of Intimacy, Act of Disclosure, Act of Profference, and then the Act of Devotion.” Rewind added. Cybertronian culture and customs were fascinating, you had always thought that, but the nature of this sparked a particular interest. You tentatively took the risk of pressing a little further.

“Okay, so Intimacy, what is that? I mean I know what that is to humans but, uh…” You trailed off, face burning. You felt awfully gauche for asking, but it was a valid question. What was intimate to a human might be different than what was intimate to a cybertronian.

“Prolonged contact. It is what you make of it.” Chromedome tilted his helm down to his and Rewind’s interlocked fingers.

  “And Act of Disclosure is basically sharing something about yourself; something personal that usually doesn’t paint you in the best light. Profference is a meaningful gift, and the last part, Devotion, is done by the bot the initiator is courting.” Rewind took the wheel on the explanation. You wondered who had initiated their rite. Rewind’s lively personality made sense for him to take the reigns in things, but you could see Chromedome be more willing to open his heart to him. “If they accept the rite, then they perform an act of selflessness. Something that really shows the other they love them.”

“I see, thanks you two.” You nodded earnestly and for the rest of the story, couldn’t help but fidget. The second they finished, you made haste in excusing yourself. You didn’t tell them, but were going to speak to Megatron asap.

“You know they’re going to-”

“Yeah, I know. I figured it was better that they asked us than, I don’t know, Whirl or something.”

Megatron and you had been a thing for a while now, and there was… a lot to be said about that. Not that you cared anyways, you knew what you were getting yourself into, and you had no regrets. Life, you had figured, was too short for regrets. You with your miniscule human lifespan, couldn't afford to be held back by any shame or fear. Your only option was to shoot your shot. Which you did, and we're planning to do once more.

Megatron had a dark history. His faction had carried out acts of hatred towards your kind, but he has since renounced the ideology he once led with a blazing banner. The moment he met you, the Lost Light’s human liaison, he commited one last act of murder: He held technoism ideology under the water until it stopped thrashing. Guilt had fueled him to avoid you, but you extended friendship towards him. And thus he befriended you. Time passed and friendship turned to fondness. Techoism had its grave defiled.

Still, you figured that he still may never truly be comfortable with human customs, despite his newfound respect for them. You took it from the strange, wide-eyed look he had given a proposal during some cheesy romcom at one of Swerve’s movie nights you’d dragged him to. However, you were ready to compromise, and were more than fascinated by this cybertronian equivalent. Fascinated enough to follow through with it while you had the time in this life to do so.

  “Megatron?” You heard the hab suite door slide open and heavy steps trod in.

“Surprisingly.” He replied, a smile crinkling the worm edges of his crimson optics. At the sight of him enveloping the space in the room, you grinned. Seeing him approach was like watching a sunrise.

“Megatron I… I have a question.” You scampered towards the edge of his desk. He sat down and offered you his hand to climb onto.

“Yes, little one, what is it?”  He lifted you gently to his shoulder and began filing a report.

“Have you uh,” You paused, reading the dry statement over his shoulder. “Ever gone thought about becoming conjunx endura? I was, um, learning about conjunx ritus earlier.” You mumbled, twiddling your thumbs and tucking yourself against his armor plating. He froze, his typing stopping short and you could hear the mechanisms in his optics dilate as his eyes widened.

“I…. (y/n),” He scooped you up carefully from his shoulders and held you in front of him in large servos. The old mech looked shocked, full of hope and disbelief. “Do you even know what that entails?”

  You nodded slowly, staring up at him. His eyes were wild, and you could glimpse the bloody war that raged on behind them. You felt his guilt and the deep set disgust towards himself all clashing with an aching longing, and the thrill of what you were proposing. The battle between what he wanted and what he felt he deserved was unending.

“I do. I’ve thought it over a lot, actually, I’ve thought long and hard about it but I realize… I realize that I don’t really have to? I already know what I want. If that’s something you’d be okay with, I’m ready as soon as you are.”

His stunned stare descended into a chuckle, like he’d just understood a joke. He seemed merely amused by your offer, as if deciding that you simply didn’t know the gravity of what you were saying. Just a silly human; as usual, not knowing what you were talking about. You hated more than anything when bots thought that about you, and you only wilted more as he looked away.

“(Y/n), I don’t know how you think I deserve you.” He rasped, his voice heavy, and the foundations beneath your feet began to falter. You squeezed your partner’s thumb, both as to balance yourself and comfort him.

  “Megatron, look at me.” You sighed, standing taller in determination. He did as you said, the worry lines above his brow deepening as he peered down at you. “I know you. You must think that I don’t because I haven’t... I don’t know, fled? Is that what you think I’d do? Flee? Megatron, I want you to understand that I saw the worst of you before I even met you, and I still find myself here, asking you to ma- to be my conjunx. Please, you don’t have to be afraid. You know we both don’t have the time to.”

He was stunned. His deep silver lips hung open in shock and awe. You kept a face of resolve, until it faltered into concern, and after more excruciating moments of silence, fell limp into a piteous frown. The sting of rejection had began to sink into your chest.

“(Y/n).” His deep voice jolted you to reality. “Are you sure?” It was all he could say.

“Yes.” It was all you needed to say.

This was incredibly taboo.

  Two days after your conversation with Megatron and you were hauling a sack containing a datapad down the halls of the Lost Light. You didn’t want to try too hard, but you couldn’t help wanting to make yourself look presentable. You decided a tie was far too formal, but a blazer? That’d work. That and some slacks, and the nicest shoes you’d saved from home. You had combed your hair back. Then forward. Then back again as you couldn’t pinpoint which looked better. Looking decidedly sharp, you timed the start of your trek with the end of Megatron’s shift.

You passed Rodimus by down the hall, and he spun on his heel, and walked instead beside you.

“(Y/n), you look nice! Any particular reason?” There was an edge to his voice, and the force behind his smile was more audible in each syllable.

“I’m bringing this datapad to Megatron.” It wasn’t a lie, that was what you were doing, but you could tell by his tensed grin that it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“Really! Because he was looking really nice today too. He buffed and everything, did you know that? Hm?” He bent down as he talked down at you.

“Really? Huh.” You smiled to yourself, giddy that Megatron had decided as well to, in the cybertronian equivalent, dress for the event, and for you.

“Okay, (y/n), seriously, what’s going on?” Rodimus stopped with with his pede. You glared and walked around it.

“Rod, chill.” You sighed. His wings perked in indigance.

“Don’t tell me to chill! You know I hate being told to chill!” His fists snapped to his hips. You groaned, turned around.

“Rodimus, please, I’m going to be late. I really want to be on time for this. I’ll talk to you later, okay? I don’t want to keep him waiting.” You pleaded, your feet tapping in soft impatience. He gave you a scrutinizing squint, but yielded.

“Okay, fine. But later? I want to know what’s going on.” He huffed and continued down the halls. You did as well, making haste towards hab suite 113.

  The gargantuan doors slid open for you at the press of a tiny button installed at the foot of the entrance. He had been pacing, and stopped in his tracks to turn to you. Rodimus was right, he looked breathtaking. His dark gray armor was clean and robust, and the dim lights of his room haloed around him.

He didn’t look too much different; you honestly might not even had noticed if it hadn’t already been pointed out. The change was so very subtle, but that only further delighted you. He still looked authentic. He still looked like himself.

“Hi love, sorry to keep you waiting.” You chirped, and slid the bag underneath his desk for later. You approached him, and he took you in his hands to his seat in the corner of his room.

“No need to apologize,” Megatron sat down and placed you delicately down on the windowsill. The window was round and uncomfortable to stand upon, but it didn't matter; you were reclining between his thumb and fore digit anyways.

“You look nice tonight.” You said, nestling in and giving his hand a kiss. The mech smiled.

“As do you, my dear.” He chuckled, the tip of his finger nudging at your polished shoes. “Fancy choice in clothing, what's the occasion?”

You grinned in response, shifting in his servo.

“You.” You replied simply, earning another rumble of laughter from the mech. When he laughed, pride was not the word you were looking for.

You leaned forward, sitting up and the intent in your body language compelled the mech to bring you close to his face. He brought you near, to listen to any secret you'd whisper or question you'd ask or… Or to receive a kiss you'd place on a set of lips that nearly measured your wingspan. Megatron suddenly found himself wishing he’d mass displaced to a form small enough to be able to return the gesture.

It was chaste, but loving; and when you pulled back to stare up at him, you looked nothing short of enraptured.

“I really hope one day you could feel half as loved as you are. I don't know how to say it any other way, I just… adore you. I know how you think you don't deserve it, I hear it in how you speak, I read it in the words you write.” You stood in his hand to look him in the eyes and press your forehead to his. “But we're both on borrowed time, and while we're both here, I want us to be happy.”

You heard the distinct clicks and whirrs of Megatron’s bodily mechanisms, the sound and feeling of his servos trembling underneath you, and his optics shut beneath knitted brows.

“But, before that, can I tell you something… less than happy?” You leaned back into his hand and he opened his eyes, nodding as he pursed his lips, a shaky exvent escaping him.

“Something happened once. It was, gosh how many years ago was it… (X) years? (Y) years…? (X) years, I don't know, it was a long time ago for me at least. At least, it felt like it. You know how it is for humans. Whenever it was, I remember one thing: It was my fault it happened.” You rubbed a hand over his wrist, fondly tracing the seams of his servos. You didn't bother to steel yourself for this story; this was meant to be vulnerable. This was meant to be intimate.

You couldn't keep from crying as your story came to fruition. The deep vulnerability cut you open by the belly and you were helpless to spilling your guts. The bruising shame flowered through you, but you laid it all out before him. You forced yourself not to turn away from him as you spoke, and you saw the deepest pits of your soul reflected back at you in a kaleidoscope.

“I felt disgusted with myself, I still do,” You gulped, blinking back the tears that blurred your vision. “But I realize I can't do anything to change what happened. No matter how I say the story, it doesn't change its meaning. I have to live with it. I have to live with knowing I could have done something about it, but I gave up. I was scared and fickle and stupid.”

You grimaced you rubbed your eyes, the low burn of raw skin making you squint. You took a deep, ragged breath, rubbing comforting circles over Megatron’s shaking servo below you.

“I’ve felt like that for a while but… It’s different with you. I’m not scared. I’ve never been more devoted. And…” You smiled up at him. “I think meeting you was the smartest thing I’ve ever done. You’re genuinely the best part of my life, I can’t begin to tell you how much I love you, and… Do you wanna let me down real quick?”

Quickly Megatron nods and helps you to the floor. Feeling his stare on your back like a spotlight, you rush with your heart in your throat to his desk.

“I feel like I put it better into writing.” You sniffed and chuckled. “Here, I made this for you.” As he lifts you and the offering to eye level, you uncover the datapad. Megatron glanced at you, then the gift, and pressed a gentle kiss to your teary face before slipping the tablet out of the covering. He cleared his throat.

“May I?” He murmured, and you nodded. He smiled, deepening the creases in his aged face. The mech gazed softly then at your writing in his servo, his low lidded optics two warm, red eclipses. He took to reciting your poem in a gentle rumble you could feel like distant thunder in your bones.

  “To Which The Sun Does Set.

Go nearer now, with earnest great

To where the sun does set.

Come to me all bound in fate,

The same as when we met.

  Though change daily we might,

As many phases mold its face

High silver metamorph of night

Thus may retain his former grace.

And may he exude it during quest

Marching onward, onward yet

His hand in mine we gently rest

In the place which the sun does set.”

  Megatron fell silent, the final stanza falling from him and descending into the ambient hum of ship engines.

“(Y/n),” He croaked. “This is incredible. You’re incredible.” He lifted you closer to him, and you stood eagerly to meet the deep sweeps of his lip plating. He took to peppering tender kisses atop your head, dipping then below your chin. You stifled a squeal as lips nudges your chest and stomach. It tickled, and you couldn’t help but jolt helplessly and laugh against his smile.

“I love you so much.” He murmured into your torso, his aquiline nose snug atop your shoulder. You hugged his jaw, grinning deeply with your cheek pressed to his. You returned words of adoration, and heard the slight click of his optics closing completely. He held you there for what felt like an eternity, the deep drum in your chest in sync with the pulsating of his spark.

You thought at this moment you’d be scared, or relieved that the hardest part was over. He accepted your disclosure and your profference. But instead, you found yourself immersed in the sound his ancient sentio metallico made as you ran your palm over his cheek.

You felt him shift and you stood back as he pulled away to look at you.

“Can I take you somewhere?”

You nod.

Sitting safe upon his shoulder, you watched the hallway lights pass by in tune with the heavy clunks of Megatron’s footsteps. A few mechs passed by, offering the greeting of disgusted grimaces and hateful whispers. For the first time, you didn’t hear them. If Megatron did, you couldn’t tell. He was busy keeping his eyes forward, his expression kind and focused.

He slowed to a stop, and you heard curious muttering down the halls. You were lifted from his shoulder and placed onto none other than your favorite spot on the ship. The largest window with the widest ledge. The windowsill was broad enough for you to stand comfortably on- hell, you could dance on it if you wanted. Not to mention the best part was the view: always of the brilliant cosmos. It thrilled your inner stargazer to be able to watch the stars and planets pass by.

You scampered down from Megatron’s servo, stopping yourself with a palm against the glass, turning around to see the glowing pepper of galaxy reflected against his chrome frame. This view beat that of the universe by a landslide. As The Lost Light traveled through space, it passed by a red dwarf star, and the corridor flooded in florid hue.

“(Y/n),” Megatron’s gravelly voice whispered down to you through the scarlet haze. “Decades ago, I’d never had been able to fathom myself doing this. But my spark, I know, was forged to be yours. I love you, and I love your humanity . And I know all the questions on my mind, you are the answer to. But I have but one more inquiry, and I’m certain only you can answer this for me.”

He got down on one knee.

“(Y/n), will you marry me?”

[thelegendofclarke]

wait why is not shipping sansa with someone ugly an unpopular opinion? i know a lot of sansa ships aren't but idgi? what did i miss?

Oh maaannn lol! Ok this was like forever ago (almost as long ago as you sent this, so sorry for the late reply I am The Worst!), but I distinctly remember everything that happened because it was just so incredibly ridiculous…

This occurred around the time those “spoilers” first came out a while back that said Sansa and Gendry got together. Naturally, fandom lost it’s ever loving mind about it, which is generally an exercise in patience in itself. But the bullshit reached a fever pitch, and the straw that broke the camel’s back for me personally was some “~meta~” in the Sansa tag that basically said “Sansa and Gendry can’t end up together because Gendry is a Handsome Prince and Sansa can’t end up with anyone good looking or else she didn’t “learn her lesson” from all her abuse in King’s Landing.”

Now, for me personally, this was just ~slightly troubling~ for a few reasons…

It was really (not so) thinly veiled Sansa vs. Arya and “Sansa stealing from Arya” stuff, which I generally find annoying in all it’s forms.

“Pretty Girl ends up with Ugly Dude because she’s a ~better person~ now” is  an incredibly gendered trope. It tends to be very misogynistic and patriarchal in it’s application and essentially has very minimal reversal in popular fiction… So I find it irritating af on principle and have no patience for it.

I only EVER see this logic applied to Sansa. There are countless other females characters who are rape and abuse victims in ASoIaF, but I literally never see anyone saying they can’t shack up with a cute guy/gal and make lots of pretty babies and live happily ever after because they should have “learned” life ain’t a romcom. In fact, on multiple occasions, I have seen the argument that certain other female characters ~deserve~ to end up with Mr. Kind & Handsome because they have been abused and suffered so much in the past… It’s another double standard this fandom has a tendency to apply to traditionally feminine characters and it’s some nonsense. 

The idea that abuse is meant to “teach a lesson” is just, so unhealthy and uncomfortable and beyond gross… Abuse doesn’t have any kind of positive affect on character development. Abuse isn’t meant to make someone a better person. Abuse isn’t a learning experience. Abuse sin’t an opportunity for growth. Abusers aren’t positive influences or role models. Abuse is abuse, period. Dressing it up as some kind of moral or parable is honestly downright offensive and kind of repulsive.

SO I proceeded to vent my frustration about said “analysis” in the tags of some random post made by a friend kind of related to the subject, as I have ~maybe~ done ~on occasion~ once or twice. Theeennn some Asshole Anon (whose identity I do not know, but who I maintain is absolutely an asshole) decided to be a shit disturber and tell a mutual (whose identity I do know, but am not going to include or disclose because honestly at this point it’s unnecessary and irrelevant) who I had NO IDEA had any kind of firm stance (or stance at all) about Sansa x Pretty People that I was shit talking them and calling them a misogynist over a post they made about shipping Sansa with someone ugly (which I still don’t think I have ever actually seen).

For the record, I have zero problems with shipping Sansa with someone ugly or not conventionally attractive for aesthetic or appearance reasons. Any issues I do have with those ships are pretty much in no way based solely on the fact that the person Sansa is shipped with isn’t hot (although I gotta say, this saga reeeaaalllyyy tempted the spiteful bitch in me to do exactly that). One of the prominent tropes in Sansa’s arc (as well as other characters’ because GRRM is a hoe for fairy tales) is Beauty and the Beast and “beauty on the outside =/= beauty on the inside” ect and so forth. That is not what I was objecting to… What I WAS (and still am) objecting to, is the idea that Sansa must end up with someone ugly because she was abused. That if she does end up with someone attractive then she didn’t “learn her lesson” and essentially her abuse had no effect on her and meant nothing, or that she in any way needed to prove herself in that regard. Placing those kind of narrative limitations on an abuse victim because they were abused is something I find very icky and yikesy.

ANYWAY, then this (ex) mutual basically ~went off~ and complained for a while about how I was pathetic and Silly Sansa Stan who didn’t understand the story and blah blah and got a bunch more anons about it as well. Which is whatever, it was annoying but I don’t particularly care that much. What I did care about though was the fact that I then got anons telling me I am stupid and shallow (which I mean, yeah I am. but that is kind of beside the point), and just a delulu Jonsa shipper or something like that (also true, but also beside the point), and a terrible person (true again tbqh) because I think ending up with someone ugly is a “punishment” and being ugly is a “crime” that lessens someone’s worth (which no actually, I don’t. the supposed ~meta~ framed it that way, not me. in fact, that was one of the main themes of the post that I was objecting to). And then when I didn’t answer those anons, I got MORE anons angry with me for not answering because I guess they somehow thought that would make me be more inclined to answer the previous ones. In a SHOCKING plot twist, it did not.

… AND THAT’S WHAT YOU MISSED ON GLEE!

[space-lions-and-imagines]

2/?? Sorry for spamming you a bit ahead of time but I wanted to kinda fill your inbox w/ some inspiration? OK! So I was thinking of a couple things. 1st - Sweet fluffy relationship hc's for Shiro, Keith, Hunk, and Lance. Or if that's too many, just Shiro and anyone lmao. What's the general vibe of the relationship like? Are they scared at the beginning? What personal things do they share with them? What do they like doing with them mostly?

If you think you can handle the amount of fluff my body is able to hold than so be it

Shiro

-Shiro does not like the word relationship. It scares hims senseless cause he feels like it comes with this impossible standard he wants to hold himself to but feels he is never good enough

-That being said his s/o will become his rock, the one he turns to at night when things get rough. He may not exactly tell them what is wrong cause he doesn’t want anyone to feel burdened by him but he will seek them out to keep him company

-On those nights he will ramble about his life, his childhood and the things he misses from Earth. All the things he hasn’t shared with the other paladins cause he wants to be their immovable force, their leader who can handle anything

-He is a master at board games, mostly old fashion things like chess, checkers and card games. He finds it keep his mind occupied and sharp and well it is a nice one on one activity that gives him an excuse to spend more time with s/o

-He is just super old fashioned that he probably wants to take them out to fancy restaurants, for long walks, museums and buy tickets to charity events for them to attend

Keith

-The relationship is super casual and neither of them even realize what it really is til someone else, probably Lance, points out that literally everyone in the entire universe sees them as a couple but them

-Labels don’t mean much to them but it does feel kind of nice once its established cause some how it just seems natural to the two of them

-Its lots of not really doing things together but doing their own thing in the same vicinity as each other. Like Keith will be working out and s/o will seek out where he is and sit there to read their book or play their game or whatever

-And they don’t realize it but they are always together. It just kind of happens and Keith doesn’t even realize it until suddenly s/o isn’t there and things feel wrong it makes him anxious but he can’t figure out why

-When he does figure it out he is super flustered by it cause he has been by himself for long and took a weird pride in being a lone wolf but now he wants someone around? What a wuss … but he loves it

-He slowly starts to open up to s/o, it usually happens late at night where he is almost delirious from not sleeping and pushing himself to hard and he just wants to talk about everything but s/o finds it super endearing

-When he wants to get away for a bit he takes s/o and they go on a long ride is the red lion. Sometimes its silent, just enjoying the stars and sometimes he rants and raves but either way they always come back feeling much better than when they left

Lance

-This relationship is super silly and at skins deep seems shallow but they often surprise their friends with how close they really are

-They love to make each other laugh. Lance especially loves to make s/o laugh cause really??? Have you heard them laugh??? Its so great omg hold on one second and I will make them laugh and you will love it!!!!

-They are the hand holding, ironic matching t shirts and pointing at random things and saying “look its you” couple

-Biggest bonding moments is over stupid dares and seeing who can push each other the most

-And of course also when either one expresses any sort of self conscious thoughts its time for cuddles and “how dare you talk about that way when you are an angel. I will fight whoever made you sad even if it was yourself”

-They are just really a bright spot in each others life and really need it when everything else can be so dark and dreary and while others may see it as nothing but silly its actually really important to have someone who they don’t have to worry about making a fool out of themselves in front of

Hunk

-He always had a crush on his s/o but had to be literally forced into asking them out cause he never thought that such a perfect person would ever be interested in him no matter what the signs have said to disprove this. After that first date it becomes hard to imagine a point when the two weren’t together

-They are the hand in each others pockets, unironic matching t shirts and pointing at things saying “Oh look its you! Oh wait nope you are much cuter/sweeter” couple

-The definition of relationship goals tbh

-Like if they had an instagram it would be a shared one where they post pictures of them doing every day domestic stuff and just being adorable together. People would eat it up

-He just wants to do everything for his s/o cause he wants them to be as happy as possible and they deserve the world and he wants to make all of the problems they have ever had go away

-Their perfect nights involve food network, lots of snacks and yelling at the contestants about how they are idiots and what they should have done

-They probably make their friends disgusted by how sweet they are by each other. Like it gets to the point the team wonders if they even remember each others names cause they always use sickly sweet nicknames for each other instead

-Also Hunk makes it his duty to live out every romcom cliche in his dates so there is that to look forward to

-Its just all full of love and communication and wanting to be the best for each other

[hollyzone]

My Films Of 2017

1. The Handmaiden

A Korean adaptation of the best Sarah Waters novel by the director of Old Boy? Yes please. Oh what, it’s even better than that enticing description? Oh double yes please. From the sumptuous visuals to the brilliant plot to the way that there were moments of high drama and genuine laugh out loud comedy, plus it was also a commentary of the fraught WWII history of Korea, it all comes together in a beautiful package which has bite as well as charm.

2. Blade Runner 2049

Ok, I can completely see why some people HATED this film. It’s so obvious that I haven’t bothered having a single “you’d get it if you consider points x, y and z” conversation because I think the haters have a point. And yet I loved it. It could have gone on for another hour and I’d still have found it a breeze. It was beautiful, the visuals maybe the best of any film this decade. It was enthralling in its telling, brave in its plot decisions, and had layers of allegory to be prodded at afterwards.

3. The Party

If Blade Runner was a very long film which I would have loved to be longer, The Party was a very very short film (71 minutes!) which didn’t need a single extra second. Kristin Scott Thomas leads the line as a politician celebrating a promotion with a dinner party which goes horribly wrong and leads to some absolutely brilliant dialogue, performances and plot twists. Patricia Clarkson’s April is the film character of 2017 I would most like to be friends with in real life.

4. In Between

Three young Palestinian women in Tel Aviv just trying to get along and enjoy their lives, this is a very small story about very big themes. Through the three protagonists, and their differing situations, it manages to critique both the Israeli rule over Palestinians and the rule of Palestinian men over their women in a sympathetic and intelligent manner. There are tender moments, horrifying moments, and an ambiguous ending which asks the viewer questions.

5. The Death Of Stalin

Hang on, the makers of The Thick Of It made a black comedy about the political scrambling after Stalin’s death? I am glad to live in a world where the target audience is specifically me. And yes, I loved it. The comedy is jet black even when it’s ostensibly silly. The characterisations are brilliant summaries of the real people, and it’s great that the real horror of the regime isn’t shied away from. Plus the people who hated it (Putin’s government, Peter Hitchens) are the sort of people I would like to see a film upset.

6. Logan

There are three superhero films on this list, and they are pretty much ranked in order of how far they deviated from the usual superhero fare. Gloomy future superheroes, complete with sweary elderly Professor Xavier and failing powers, this was a western to all intents, and a dark one at that. This was all to its benefit. It’s great to finally see a film where the heroes face the threat of actual, permanent death. It gives it weight and stakes. There was also a lot of interesting imagery and a more blood’n’guts, both of which gave it a neat visual style.

7. Wonder Woman

And here’s another superhero film which moved away from the template. Ok, in its last third it degenerated into a hero punching a CGI effect, but the proceeding bits threw the superhero clay through a female lens and gave us something which was genuinely interesting and different. Some might disagree, but when you’ve seen so few superheroes of your gender, it does make a positive difference! Bonus review: my cousin’s daughter loved the bits on the island at the start and demanded to be taken home as soon as male characters appeared on screen.

8. Girls Trip

A gross out comedy has to have more than just gross jokes. Girls Trip had great characters and magnificent performances, so the really outrageous set pieces landed even harder because the unfortunate piss incidents and fruit-related sex accidents were happening to someone interesting. Tiffany Haddish in particular knocked it out of the park.

9. Thor: Ragnorak

Please, big studios, continue to give Taika Waititi large amounts of money to paint the screen with visual delights and surreal deadpan humour. I’ve always liked the Thor films more than most people for being big cartoons full of colour and life, but this one managed to take that to the next level while also having not one, but two villains who I didn’t immediately forget once the film had finished (Cate and Jeff, Loki doesn’t do enough villaining to qualify this time around).

10. Baby Driver

We are surely due an actual Edgar Wright musical at some point, right? Baby Driver edged us even closer to this prospect because it kind of was a musical. Characters either sing or lip sync quite a lot. There’s a lot of choreography, either in the form of going to the coffee shop or (more frequently) in a car. Sure, it did just enough to cop out of being a musical in the end, but I found all the things I liked were the things I like in musicals.

11. Lady Macbeth

A costume drama, but one about murder, manipulation, deceit, jealousy and shots of bleak and forbidding English countryside. Lady Macbeth’s biggest strength is the way it pulls the audience along with its main character (excellent performance by Florence Pugh) forcing us to jerk between sympathy and revulsion at her activities until we’ve become complicit in something unexpected. Uncomfortable but riveting.

12. Hidden Figures

A crowd-pleasing real-life story in which racism and sexism are kicked to the ground by a bunch of Space Nerds is very up my street and so I was very happy with this utterly formulaic, completely delightful film which married an uplifting story to some really excellent performances. All of Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer and Janelle Monáe deserved awards for bringing those women to life.

13. Star Wars: The Last Jedi

I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt immediately after seeing TLJ, but the more I’ve thought about it (and I have, a lot) and the more I’ve read other people’s views (and I have, a lot) the more I’ve come to the conclusion that the messy first half was justifiable in light of how interesting, innovative (within a Star Wars context) and satisfying the second half was. I’m also pro-Porg.

14. The Big Sick

A romcom where a coma gets in the way should be mawkishly unwatchable, so hurrah that this is not just watchable but funny and savage at times. It managed to dodge the problems a tonal shift from culture clash comedy to dark sickness comedy could have caused, which was more impressive in hindsight as at the time it flowed nicely and neatly, with the jokes not letting up.

15. Dunkirk

Weirdly, the opposite to The Last Jedi, Dunkirk was something which I’ve not really given much thought to since I saw it, but at the time it was intense and tense, and its three timeline structure was a stroke of genius. The realism meant it was very very different to the majority of war films, and the wordlessness of long stretches were almost art house in nature.