#it's just not the point. I don't get how anyone can look around and not feel anger and sadness and shame at what the world is like rn

[qqueenofhades]

This is dark, and I totally understand if you’re not comfortable answering this, but I genuinely feel like you’re the best person to ask.

How do I stay informed without spiraling into this absolutely unhealthy, blood boiling and borderline mouth frothing anger?

I feel like a barely follow anything any more so cutting down media consumption isn’t an answer, but in the small bit of news I saw tonight I’m literally hot to the touch and having an invasive thought spiral of “Why isn’t he dead? Someone needs to kill him! SOMEONE KILL HIM! KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL KILL KILL MAIM UNTIL THERES NO REDS LEFT FOR THE SAKE OF US PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KILL THEM ALREADY-“

This isn’t healthy. I know it isn’t healthy. But even knowing the statistics of non-violent revolution vs violent revolution, I can’t help but feel like we’re watching a trolley problem unfold in the worst ways because the modern population is a bunch of cowards.

This isn’t helped at all by the fact I have personal reasons from the last admin that I need to see them SUFFER. And far worse than just some dealership fires.

Oh hon. Please recognize that I am only a tired middle-aged queer academic on the internet with no formal medical or psychological credentials and thus am definitely not the best person to help you here, but because you have said that you value my opinion and trust my advice, I hope that you will consider what I say and see what you can do. (It is hard. It is super hard. I know.)

First, please consider whether you need to be informed. I know that a lot of us have guilt complexes around "consuming" the "right kind of news" and having the "right kind of opinions," because social media has beaten it into us that is the only way to Do Activism (wrong). If you're feeling so completely wrung-out right now that even a little information is overwhelming you, you can just not look, period. That is okay to do. If you need permission from Someone On The Internet to just cold-turkey yourself, then this is it. If you want to stay on Tumblr but can't take seeing any political/news content at all, then you can block, unfollow, tag-and-content screen (remember that you can do more than just block tags; you can block any words that you don't want to see), literally whatever you need. You can block the usernames of people who consistently post political content that distresses you, even if you agree with it. You are not obligated to be constantly informed to the point of trauma. You do not owe anyone a social media presence, or your attention, or so forth. After all, you alone can't do a whole lot to change it, and you need to take care of yourself. We are in a shitty, shitty time right now. Things real bad.

That said, it sounds to me as if you also need to take the next step and get some proper support, especially because you recognize that these thoughts are intrusive, spiraling, and unhealthy but don't feel as if you can stop them on your own. Uncontrollable rage response is a common PTSD symptom, and we are all hella traumatized right now, for literally every imaginable reason. This is a real mental health issue and not just something that you can control by screening your internet content/news consumption/social media presence further, though that might help. So I would really suggest that you start the process of finding a therapist or similar other medical professional who is trained to help and support you and who can offer structured resources that friends and even random well-meaning Tumblr users such as myself can't. It sounds scary and difficult, but it's not, you can do a bit at a time, and it will be necessary so you don't feel so completely raged-out and shaken and scared all the time.

If you have health insurance, you can go on your provider's page and easily make a list of nearby doctors for different kinds of issues, i.e. in this case mental health and counseling. Many of them have extra identity-or practice-specific information listed (such as "LGBTQ-friendly" or "great bedside manner" or "does telehealth appointments" and so forth) and you can also read the reviews for individual practitioners to see if they sound like someone who might be the right fit for you. In other words, you can do a lot of screening even before you arrive in their office and see if they're someone you might be able to work with and open up to. (And as noted, many of them also have virtual options if Zoom feels less threatening for an initial contact.) Make sure that they ARE in-network because you don't want to get socked by expensive appointment fees (health insurance sucks etc), but if you don't have insurance or only a very basic coverage level, you can also search for local or community health-center practitioners who might be able to offer sliding-scale fees or major discounts. There are usually affordable options if you do a bit of looking. If you are at a university in any fashion, make use of the student health and counseling centers. They are there for you!

As I said: things are just flat out terrible right now, and we can't do much about it on an individual level, but we still have to figure out how to take care of ourselves and get through it somehow. Please do not feel guilty if what you need to do right now is go into total news blackout and get some professional help. That is honestly the least of what could be expected from living every day in a stupid and traumatizing situation like this one, and there are plenty of other people who will carry on fighting back while you are tapping out to do some self-care. You do not have to do this alone.

Eventually, you may be able to regain some equilibrium and plan out how you're going to manage the next few weeks/months/years, how you're going to find joy in small things, how you're going to plan to continue living your life even in the face of rampant murderous and unavoidable idiocy, etc. This may or may not be comforting, but as a historian, I can attest that people of previous generations have pretty much always thought the world was ending due to [insert stupid issue du jour.] That, unfortunately, is the story of humanity in a nutshell, and until we break that cycle, it's going to continue that way. However, the bright side is that the world has not ended and has gone onward, and the odds are decent that it will do so again this time. I can't offer much more than that, but I think that's important.

Courage. Take care of yourself. We can do this together. Stay strong. Much love. I am proud of you.

[newkatzkafe2023]

How about Y/N that is like scylla from greek mythology or epic the musical (you choose), like she's terrifying and huge but on those who she is close, she's like a gentle giant and soft spoken, kind of like the song 'your beauty never scares me' (just some fluff, cause I think its cute!)

Your beauty never ever scares him😍🥰

(Lmk Wukong) Ok so you are admittedly scary however he feels something very sad about you. With what happened to you in the past of course your sad and insecure, but Wukong didn't love you any less. He loved to smother you with affection and reassurance, and make sure you know that you are loved and appreciated by him. He also loves to leave kisses in your more sensitive and private areas, especially your tentacles. He'll never be afraid of you, not shut up and come play with you king💛😘

(MKR Wukong)......................He had actively licks his lips when he had first saw your monster form. You may be huge and scary, but you're still his perfect, powerful wifey, talking to him in that soft voice, making his spine shiver in desire. Your beauty will never scare him. If anything, it makes him desire you more than anything in the world, your Appearance never scares him. If anything, it turns him on. He also loves your long soft tentacles, especially when they squeeze him tightly and sneak into his pants. It's so sexy and risky, especially in public, and he wouldn't have you any other way🥰❤️‍🔥

(HIB Wukong) Oh his poor huge insecure wifey as somebody with appearance issues he knows how it feels to be judged for your looks. Which is why he would never do that to you Wukong is aware of how gentle and kind you actually are, not to mention how motherly you are to Luier and Silly girl as you go out of your way to take care of them. Wukong always thought you are beautiful not to mention....a giant. Wukong would blush hotly at your sharp teeth and tentacles, and in your private time things would get heated especially when you touched everywhere at once. Ohhhh don't change for anyone especially for him🤤

(NR Wukong) The old man monkey scurries around wearing a mask.....he shouldn't be talking about faces either. However, he understands your fears and insecurities, so he makes sure to show you, bringing you out to dates and complimenting you and your looks and qualities like your kindness and willingness to help the people around you. He definitely drools over your big, strong tentacles squeezing him so hard and firmly....the point is he'll never be scared off by your scary face, with your kind, soft-spoken, and gentle demeanor and personality Wukong can confirm that he hit the jackpot when it came to you🥰😘🩷.

(Netflix Wukong) He understands your fears more than you'll ever know, but he doesn't fear you. He can never fear you. He loves your soft voice, and you're the very definition of gentle gaint. With how you treat him like glass, it's so adorable. Your endless kindness warms his heart and your soft-spoken voice, often falling asleep with ease. Sometimes, he kisses your many faces when he seeings there's tears in your many pretty eyes. He loves to praise you and your strength and power and wouldn't take you granted on purpose. Wukong loves you and your Appearance doesn't change a thing❤️.

(BMW Wukong) He finds your insecurities and fears to be ridiculous, even though he would go into kill mode if anyone insults you. Wukong goes into damage control by giving you very steaming and sexy compliments and calling you his beautiful peach. Not to mention how powerful you truly are in and off the battlefield, and it was sooooo hot and Wukong couldn't get enough of you. Overall your looks is just a bonus to him and he'll have no problem showing you just how much he loves you💙

(Destined one) You have his sympathy 100% especially when he got to know and fell in love with you. You were definitely intimidating at first glance but you were such a gentle giant, he can never be scare of you. The Destined one would make sure to plan dates that will be comfortable to you, his favorite thing to do with you is cuddling as you had many tentacles would hold him close to you. The Destined one would also blush at times because of how warm and firm you feel making him have not so innocent thoughts and have the urge to kiss you in your sensitive parts. He can't wait to take you home again..🩵🤤

(Lotmk Wukong) He understands why you think you're so insecure and depressed because people treated you like a big, ugly monster. However, Wukong thinks otherwise he thinks you're kind, sensitive, gentle, selfless, and most of all beautiful. It was love at first sight for him, and you quickly became special to him, spending all his free time with you and showering you with fun gifts and giving you compliments. Wukong would endlessly give affection to make sure you never be a monster to him, although every time he feels your tentacles on his bare body....he simply blushes🤎😊.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG⚓️

[isi567]

You know since kids like to paint stuff and place stickers it would be fun if deceptions were victims of it. Like Megatron's kids found paint in the storage and he let them paint but forgot to mention that they are not allowed to paint walls, solders or their parents. Predaking woke up with bright neon claws and tail, Dreadwing didn't realize twins painted his wings while he was working and Knockout tripped over a bucket of green paint. But Megatron got it worse, Starscream Left them with him until he tried to clean out the mess and Megatron fell asleep. When he woke up he realized his kids painted the red, blue and pink flowers with green leaves and yellow stars. He looked at his reflection and he also realized they left handprints on him in different colors plus they drew a lot of tiny hearts on him. It went something like this:

Megatron waking up and looking at the splattered paint on the floor and kids giggling:Wh-

He looked at his hands and realized they are full of hearts and red roses and different flowers: KIIIDS!!!

Athena:DAD YOU LIKE IT!

Megatron looked at the big mirror in the room and saw that they painted him in every color they had:WHAT DID YOU DO!!!

Agnos: YAY HE LIKES IT!!!

Agna: YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!!!

Starscream barging in: MEGATRON WE HAVE A PROBLEM -oh my...

He realized that his spouse is also a victim

Starscream: My, my looking different babe!!! 😘

Megatron: I look like a circus!

Starscream: Uhhh I hope you will get used to it because....

Megatron: WHAT!?

Starscream: it's industrial paint and it's not coming off soon.

Megatron just sat on the floor, he realized he had to walk around painted like this.

Starscream: well it will come off eventually but we have to wait a long time.

Megatron crying: Whyyyyyy

Starscream hugged him: there, there, you are not the only victim. Soundwave is also neon pink.

Kids: Father can we paint you?!

Starscream: No. And get out and leave the brushes, we have enough pink solders.

Athena: But blue is nice too

Megatron: Just get out and don't paint anything or anyone.

Also facing Optimus would be hard too. It went like:

Optimus: Megatron your - OH MY PRIMUS!!!

Autobots paused after seeing Megatron with colorful flowers and handprints and stars.

Optimus seeing kids run around with brushes

Prime: Oh you poor thing...

Megatron: it's industrial and won't come off.

Other deceptions getting out All painted in different colors all except Starscream.

Wheeljack pointing at him: How did he get away?

Dreadwing: Kids are scared of trying to paint him, he hissed at them.

Soundwave: I look ridiculous.

Miko: I think pink is your color Soundwave.

Arcee: Can't say the same for Megatron though.

Megatron: I think they have a spot for pink.

Athena: DAD LOOK!!

*everyone turns around and then sees sparkling soaked in pink paint*

Megatron: HOW DID YOU FIND PAINT AGAIN!?

Starscream while hugging Megatron: See this is what happens when you decide that having kids while on dark energon was a good idea!

Megatron: I regret it now, I do.

* He just picks up the child and realized it's industrial paint too*

Megatron:Hey Starscream, any chance you allow pink child on board?

Starscream: It's industrial isn't it?

Megatron crying exhausted: Yes

Autobots just got back with a bucket of energon and a peace treaty for a week until Megatron figured out how to fix his kids.

After three weeks he was able to get back his grey polish but he did leave a small red heart on his wrists that he can only see because he found it cute.

What do you think about this one?

[lamardeuse]

write your name on every blank page

by lamardeuse

911 || Buck/Eddie, Eddie & Christopher, Eddie & Buck & Christopher || Rated M || c. 11000 words

aka my contribution to the Eddie in El Paso post 8x11 fic wave, posted less than 24 hours before we get canon Eddie in El Paso :D

Eddie sets out for El Paso with his truck and a rented trailer full of essential items and valuables, the patio furniture the movers had forgotten to take and seven years' worth of mementos to remind him of that time he briefly escaped his parents' sphere of influence.

“I'm sorry you're going to have to buy a new bed,” he says as he and Buck stand in the doorway of his – well, soon to be Buck's bedroom.

“Yeah, there's no way I was going to fit a California King in here,” Buck says. “But it's fine. The mattress was getting kind of – uh, worn out.”

“I bet,” Eddie mutters. “Anyway, I'm sorry you've ended up with such a downgrade.”

Buck shrugs. “I don't see it that way. Your place is a lot more spacious overall. It has a yard. And it's just – nicer.”

“Is it?” Eddie makes a face. “Come on, the loft was cool.”

“Yeah, well, that isn't the selling point it was when I was twenty-six,” Buck murmurs. “The loft hasn't felt like home for a long time. Your house – it's got that warm feeling, you know?”

Eddie's breath catches in his throat at the thought of Buck rattling around this place alone, trying to find a warmth that left the day Christopher did. Trying to summon the ghosts of what they once were to one another, of what they might have been if –

“Buck, I –”

“Yeah?” Buck says softly, and Eddie can't look at him, he can't.

Instead, he turns and nods toward Chris' door. “At least you've got an extra room now. What're you going to do with it, turn it into a gym?”

“Nah. I thought I'd – uh. Make it into a guest bedroom so I can babysit Jee-Yun here, and have it for when you and Christopher come back for a visit. I can get one of those beds with the extra mattress that slides out and – anyway, I have a couple of ideas.”

“Oh,” Eddie says, because it's either that or bust out crying. “Well, you know, it might be a few months before I can even think of getting away from the – the work I have to do to the house, and the new job.”

“Good,” Buck says airily, “'cause putting together Ikea furniture is a real pain in the ass, it'll probably take me at least that long to figure out the directions.”

That startles a laugh out of Eddie, which he imagines was the point. “So, what time you want me at your place in the morning to help you pack?”

Buck scratches at the back of his neck. “I've been thinking about that. You need to be on the road early if you want to get to El Paso before Christopher goes to bed. The movers aren't coming til Thursday, so I can take my time.”

Eddie frowns. “You're saying you don't want my help?”

“I'm saying I want you to – not have one more thing to worry about,” Buck says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I'll see you at six-thirty to load up, okay?”

“Sure, yeah,” Eddie says, suddenly struck by the thought that in a little over ten hours he'll be saying goodbye to Buck. There's so much to say and no time left to say it, not that he has any idea where to start. But even if he did, what would be the point? He might never be coming back to L.A., not to live.

It's not nothing, he'd said, and even that had felt ripped from him, a confession he needed to make for himself as much as for Buck. He can't afford to be more selfish than that, because no matter how anyone standing in this near-empty house feels, Christopher needs a father more than Buck needs Eddie – and maybe even more than Eddie needs Buck. It's simple math, the alligator eating the greater number like they taught you in grade school. But if that's true, why does he feel like the one being consumed, devoured, erased from existence?

Buck hesitates for a moment, his gaze assessing. They should hug, just like Eddie had hugged Hen and Chim and Bobby. But maybe they both know it could get messy, and the last thing either of them needs right now is more mess.

In the end, Buck awkwardly says his goodbyes and leaves. Of course, Buck being Buck, he turns up right on time the next morning in the pouring rain with his big smile and his big arms and his enormous heart and a dozen freshly-baked protein cookies. The hug they'd avoided the night before seems a little less dangerous in the light of day, at least until Buck's arms wrap around him, warm and strong.

Eddie's smile as Buck's warm breath tickle the rain-chilled skin of his neck feel like it's trying to smother him. Time's up, and all he can do in the end is keep that smile stuck to his face while he gasps for air beneath it.

As Eddie's passing San Bernadino on the I-10, he reaches into the bag for one of the cookies and savors it slowly, letting the chocolate melt on his tongue.

When the silent tears start falling, he's not even surprised.

read the rest at the AO3

[knavestrolls]

Do you remember your favorite fan troll you’ve ever seen that wasn’t one of yours?

Okay so this is such a loaded question but not in a BAD way. I hope y'all are ready for some dropped names. I'm not going to ping anyone, I don't want to step on toes! LONG ASS POST. I AM NOT KIDDING.

Sid Cada @/lordtonic - I may be yellow colorblind but god damn I love sid. Enough that it makes me angry I know I can't see that damn suit right sometimes. I picked Sid as my favorite one day and my brain stuck to it so hard that while I do legitimately love every other troll there, Sid makes me light up like I've just see a lizard [which with Sid, sometimes those things both happen]

Thread @/sasster My favorite chase troll changes a LOT. Chase has INSANELY GOOD TROLLS AND FUN CHARACTERIZATION. Stryx was actually my first favorite troll of Chase's and how I found the sasster blog BUT. Thread is SO good. She's so fun and oh my god. Snakes,,, [WOMAN. also her one romance with the uhhh commander I think? The white suit with both arms on one side in her sprites.. sleepless brain is killing me rn- but oh my god it's SO fun to see them flirt.]

Mallum @/roetrolls Okay so. I know everyone would think I'd put Remora and they're NOT WRONG I STILL ADORE REMORA. But through the storylines I just fell HARD for Mallum. The redemption? The struggle? I literally can't hear "Main Character" by Wil Wood without imagining a whole animatic of Mallum to it! The only thing that stops me (besides time) from making it is I know I do NOT know enough to make it any form of accurate. [after coming back to proofread: also the fact that Roe is an amazing animator and my brain struggles with the 'well x could just do it'. Not the point brain!]

ALLMAH @/ase-trollplays Listen. Here on the knavestrolls we are villain enjoyers. And we are WOMEN enjoyers. And WE SUPPORT WOMEN'S WRONGS. WE WANT THEM TO DO MORE IN FACT. Allmah my beloved. Free her. She did all of it I just think she should be free to do more. [doubling down. Let Allmah commit new warcrimes. Let her invent them]

Veketi @/windy-trickster Mi mijo has so many good trolls that it's always hard to pick. But Veketi gets a soft spot for me because we made Veketi and Liegia together. Because I made Veketi's sprites and I want to remake them because I think they look god awful now but they still get USED when he's around. They still read like they're fun! Becase Star has an amazing way of making the sprites WORK with what the character is saying too. <33

Melanc @/ask-melanc-vivura I.. don't actually have a long explanation for this one. This is another BPD brain pick that's really silly. I drew her with her boobs mostly out and have just loved her ever since. I am weak to women I can pin up. [PIN UP ART. PIN UP ART.]

Galeia- @/videcoeur This is another one I don't have a good long explanation for just.. pretty fish. I'm love pretty robit fish. Plus, science and REALLY FUCKED UP science,, my beloved [Fun fact i am weak to every single Videcoeur character, OC or otherwise. And the moment she arts? I'm dead. One day I'll be able to afford sprites]

Arceel- @/memurfevur I'm pretty sure I spelt his name wrong and I do not care, he can fist fight me. Not the author, the troll. Papa Arceel! One of my favorite troll to interact with because I can go to that troll with some of the stupidest questions and get a legitimate answer. Sometimes, one I didn't even know I needed [Also I am SO sad upon realizing I don't have the stupid meme image of his head over Beast now.]

Rynthu- @/lashysdomain Again, pretty sure I spelt it wrong but she'll forgive me I think (the troll). Just all around a fun character. Has so many fun plots in so many fun ways/worlds! Her romance with Watch'r is adorable as hell, but I'm not obsessed with the Watch'r side, it's her side I follow. As if it's one of the many romance webtoon I cling to and she's the FL.

PELEXI- @/mageofspacemultiverse DRAGON. WOMAN. WE SUPPORT DRAGON WOMEN'S WRONGS. Especially when they're funny. Plus like listen. Listen. Have they actually dated? No. Have they even gotten past a SINGLE conversation? NO. But that's Esstoc's wife and I don't take excuses

Charon - @/asks-n-trolls If I could romance 1 old troll............also honestly I love a LOT of Dan's trolls. Each one has such a fun personality, cute quirks- and FLAWS!!! I LOVE FLAWS!!

Alacar- @/alacarhelsng I can type freely here, because I *know* that he will never read this so. Alacar is genuinely one of my favorite characters my husband has ever made. He's so genuinely fun to play off of as a character, to build around! His design is SO freaky and silly and fun! I forget his damn scar EVERY TIME! He's getting surprise gift sprites done and I had to go back and rewrite the notes to please include the scar and add more references because I had forgotten AGAIN. He's SO ODY coded but he's also so Achilles coded. He didn't want to fight in this damn war. He wanted to spend his days with his Patroclus (AND HIS PENELOPE). He wanted to laugh and joy! And now look what this journey has turned him into! What losing those people has turned him into! Ugh I could go on forever- and I will, if ever given the chance, because I know that my husband isn't around on here as often and isn't very known but god DAMN I need y'all to appreciate the fun builds he makes. (also Qimzal is my second favorite and depending on what song wins you might get some insight on why)

Chrona- @/8bit-mau5 Okay. So. This one is REALLY hard to narrow to one because I also adore Malice and Opal. Crow's getting it for the STUPIDEST of reasons though. I'm weak to pinstripe. All three characters are a genuine joy to have on my dash any time they appear I am over the moon! I want all three of them worse and better all at once!! Also I would not trust Crow to actually help me in a court of law. Should I? Maybe.

Nereus- @/nethertrolls The design? KILLER. The stories? Absolutely enthralled me. Also, Nereus just reminds me of the Outsider from Dishonored sometimes and I ADORE The Outsider. To the point where I do actually plan on getting his mark tattooed eventually! So just.. Genuine attachment regardless of any story changes I'm dedicated to Nereus

@/goddesstrolls For religious reasons, I can't post her name. Starts with an H. She's Bast's very buff beautiful rust woman. A huntress. A legend. An icon. I ADORE her. It KILLS ME that I can't interact with her because I can't say her name!! Plus I just get nervous because,, womyn,,

 Ailaxi- @/tempi-fantrolls Okay, so this is going to be very shameful of me and we're all just going to ignore it for a moment okay? I struggle to keep up with the dash, even when I had the free time and the mental health but the #1 troll I always managed to catch on my dash was Ailaxi from them. And oh my GOD I ADORE lil grouches! Especially SOFTIE GROUCHES. It has been a while since I've been able to keep up at any level so this is VERY much just vague memory but I see that gray man and I'm like yes. my boy he has returned.

Daiona- @/norts-trolls Nort is another person I struggle to pick favorites with but right now it is STRONGLY Daiona. This I don't have words for in the same way I don't have words for the profound loneliness that sneaks up on me that I can only explain via sending my husband pictures of abandoned, overgrown, half destroyed houses that look like no one's even urban explored them in at least a decade. Daiona fills that same feeling to me, I hope someone makes sense of that.

Voghel- @/happyhappyfantrolls I have said it once, I will say it again, we are VILLAIN LOVERS here at Knavestroll! Voghel was one I locked onto early and have not let go! I try to go keep up with events and comics on this blog when possible because so many characters have fun interactions, deep relationships, and there's familial bonds that get to me...but also I want to see Voghel.

Babble- @/wandering-trolls I NEVER leave behind an EDM girlie. Just look at her. Look at her and tell me you can't love her I'll fist fight you

Mikael - @/mik-mania I just think Mikael is neat. That's it. thats the whole thought

Rhulan- @/morgombie It was love at first sight. If I remember right, I think I even got to draw her once! Not 100% on that thought, please remember I do have memory problems. but anyways! THE DESIGN FUCKS SEVERELY. SO GOD DAMN STRONGLY.

Malara- @/ask-swagger-dagger-trolls I was blessed with getting to know the story behind Malara's design and it stuck with me. Some days I think about doing something similar but honestly, Malara fills that need for me. She's like a silent presence with me sometimes. Filling in where that friend would have. Now, Tam has some amazing other trolls I love for lots of insanely silly reasons but..Malara stuck with me the most, for that reason.

Wicata- @/goldenguillotines So. I have to be honest, GG has a lot of trolls and I love so many of them that with my memory issues some of them bleed together. I did have to go look up her name, but this is a design that sticks with me. When I think of GG, this is the design that comes to mind because to me. I would see her on my dash endlessly and every time I saw her I'd stop scrolling because I had discovered another neat little detail in her sprites, in the art of her, in her design! GG has so many amazing designs and characters so please don't take this as a 'this is all there is' it's just what stuck with my broken brain.

HeeHoo - @/trollbreak JONAH. One of the platonic loves of my life is literally all of Jonah's clowns, and I am the EXTREMELY proud owner of a clown designed by Jonah! (As well as a mimic dragon amongst other designs) But I can firmly say my Jonah-clown obsession started with Heehoo. He's just a little guy! He would never do a murder, it'd dirty his pom poms! Just a lil guy who does a lil dance and stands in your hands and when he leaves and you look down there's rainbow footprints on your palm! Just OUGH Peak Clown for me. Peak clown design for me too. The mustache fucking kills me

Now, this is not NEARLY all of them. I could go on for ages but I've been told by three separate people to go try sleep again because I've hit the 27 hour mark but. Here is a small handfull of favorite trolls and thoughts about them!

[the-magpie-collective]

The Absolute is Baldur Gate 3's A-plot villain. The plot revolves around the Absolute, and in the end Players must decided either to work with it or destroy it. And for every origin character, it also has a B-plot villain to drive their personal story arc. For Astarion it's Cazador, for Shadowheart it's Shar/Lady Viconia, for Lae'zel it's Vlaakith, for Karlach it's Gortash and Zariel. Gale's villian is a bit more abstract, but I would argue Lorroakan acts as a narrative foil/mirror to Gale, though Gale's hubris is his true "antagonist".

And then there's Mizora.

Look, I will say, Mizora's initial introduction does a good job of setting her up as a villain. She swoops into camp and either gloats about succeeding in fooling Wyll into killing an ally (Karlach) or punishes his insubordination by dragging Wyll through the hells. Most Players will have already received warnings about devils well before they meet Mizora (vis a vis Raphael) and here they are faced with the consequences of what it means to try to cross a devil. Wyll is irreparably changed into the visage of a monster, or he feels himself a monster for having killed someone who didn't deserve it. Mizora comes off as clever*, powerful, and an unapologetic antagonist. This Mizora is actually kind of terrifying.

*(Taken on its own, using the "heartless, demonic, infernal, and soulless" language in the Pact feels clever. In light of all the other Pact bullshit it feels shoe-horned in for plot purposes only and like lazy writing to me)

It goes downhill from here.

In the next scene featuring Mizora, she begs Wyll for help. I might have had more grace for this, but all the Player needs is to pass an extremely low perception check of 5 to determine that Mizora is desperate. This both immediately undermines Mizora as a credible threat, and takes control of his story away from Wyll as the Player negotiates with Mizora to release him from the pact on Wyll's behalf. How does a devil, one who is supposedly one of Zariel's most competent, get captured by the Absolute cultists? We don't know. It's never explained, but given the fact that Raphael is traipsing around there without a care and even Yurgir is giving the Absolute cultists trouble it's not exactly a ringing endorsement of Mizora's abilities.

(I'm not going to get into the Pact again. I think it's incredibly stupid and the story never bothers to clarify whether or not Wyll is actually freed from his Pact at this point or not. But let's just say he is freed from his pact by Mizora when he rescues her from the illithid pod for the sake of my sanity.)

Now we come to Act III, where Mizora offers Wyll a deal: his father's life for his soul.

Let's ignore how dumb the Iron Throne is and how it railroads the player. Let's ignore the Pact and how apparently devils can just force anyone's death to happen so long as it's written into a Pact, even if they weren't the one to sign over their soul. Let's just focus on the fight.

Because if the Player (not Wyll, because we can't give him autonomy in his own narrative arc) chooses Wyll's soul over his father's life, there is a confrontation with Mizora in the Iron Throne. She appears, commands his father to kneel (how is she able to do this?), and then sicks a dozen exploding spiders on him. Except the spiders can be entirely avoided by a single level four spell slot (Dimension Door). One, single, level four spell slot, to completely evade Wyll's main antagonist. In Act III. That's it.

And we're supposed to respect her as the villain of Wyll's story?

Once this is over, you'll find Mizora back at camp, just hanging around. While she doesn't make another attempt at Ulder Ravengard's life, she is now, inexplicably, untouchable. She apparently has unlimited magic to teleport back and forth between camp and the hells when before she tripped herself straight into an illithid pod and the best she could come up with to kill Ulder was a few exploding spiders. That's totally makes sense /sarcasm

A protagonist is defined, in large part, by their antagonist. We know that if the antagonist is clever, the protagonist must be more clever to beat them. If an antagonist is powerful, the protagonist seems stronger by comparison. So what happens when the antagonist is written into an incompetent nitwit halfway through Act II? The protagonist looks stupid by comparison.

And it's blatantly obvious why Mizora is written the way she is. Somewhere along the way instead of Mizora being an actual villain for Wyll, she just becomes a sex object for the Player. She could have been a terrifying, competent villain AND still propositioned the character, but I guess that was just too much character depth to give her. And I think that's really, really sad. Mizora could have been a fascinating villain, but they chickened out and didn't even so much as give her the cool claws and fangs from the concept art.

Is Wyll boring or does Mizora's writing just suck, actually?

[gilverrwrites]

Free use is so yummy<3 free use + possessiveness is scrumpdillyiscious

Office!au cause I love herrr

But just imagine in the beginning when word is starting to spread around the office.

Kon is able to dodge most of it cause of his charming smile and boyish charm. I mean who could blame or judge him <3 that Kent charisma is working overtime.

Tim is their boss so obviously he's no go. Sure he's more than generous and a delight to work for, but anyone who's been on the receiving end of his withering glare knows how terrifying it is to cross that line.

But you? You're just the newbie, sweet enough sure, but you haven't been here long enough to really earn your spot in the social hierarchy. It's not helping when the gossiping old biddies take note of your ruffled skirts and smudged makeup. Reputations are so easy to gain and so hard to lose </3

When projects and assignments are passed out you can't help but tune in to the murmurs and pointed looks between you and Tim.

"Wonder what they had to do to earn that contract?"

"If my old knees weren't so bad maybe I'd get to use the company car too"

"Makes sense they'd get to lead that meeting we all know how good they are at /oral/ presentations👀"

The crazy part is they should know better than to assume Tim would risk his professional life for a lay. Especially since he's screwing Kon and the most he's assigned to do is "go grab some dry erase markers from staples.... Kon those are permanent".

No. the reason you were given these high level difficult contracts is you're damn good at what you do. If you weren't wickedly intelligent Tim and Kon never would have paid you any attention in the first place, it's just a bonus that you're super hot :(.

You try to handle it on your own, cause as long as it doesn't affect your work then it doesn't matter. You don't need to make friends here. No, what you're focused on is making sure Kon and ESPECIALLY Tim doesn't notice. Them coming in to help you like Captain Save-a-hoe would only make it worse :(

But as most things do, the situation starts to snowball. Whispers about you, become hushed talking while you're in earshot, becomes slide remarks straight to your face, becomes your number being written in bar bathrooms around the city. You'd think these grown women would've moved past their teenage mean girl phase but no </3

Still you keep your head up and your business to yourself, you can handle this. Until it goes too far and you're getting cornered in the printing room by a handsy coworker "C'mon I know you let half of Gotham hit. What's one more?"

Before you see it happen you hear it. The quick crack of a wrist being grabbed much too roughly. Frigid blue eyes staring hard at you, looking for anything out of place. And a chilling voice, whispering "you should leave" with 0 inflection. Even though none of this cold fury was directed at you, it still made your heart drop down to the pit of your stomach.

You were honestly quite fortunate that Tim got in there first. If he hadn't beat Kon to it, there's no telling what he'd do.

They'd treat you so sweetly after, giving you a vacation on their (Tim's) dime. Part of you was worried about this making gossip worse at the office, but it's hard to voice your concerns when Kon's head is glued in between your legs on the softest bed you've ever been in.

Alternating between sucking on your swollen, throbbing clit and sucking more dark marks into your thighs. Faintly you think there's no way a human tongue can reach that deep, but one stroke has you canting your hips against his face. You just turn your sweet little brain off and let them pamper you alright?

Tim's no better, holding you close to his chest as he gropes all over you. Quick nips along your shoulders and neck, each punctuated by a tug to your achey nipples. He hasn't removed his hands from your chest since you began, licking and pulling at them. He's so unbearable! Especially when he's whispering in that smooth, gentle tenor of his.

"Maybe rubies, right here on your neck. All pretty in red for me, that way they know who your pretty pussy belongs to." A muffled grunt of protest rises from your core that makes you gasp when you feel teeth graze your nub. "And sapphires Kon, of course." His voice is surprisingly fond for someone gripping Kon's hair so tightly against your core. Kon needs no encouragement as he laps eagerly inside of your weeping sex.

"No that's too subtle, how about something more permanent. He whispers, dragging one of his hands down your body to rest right above your cunt. His fingers trace over your womb.

"How about you get our names, right here" he drums along the soft skin, making you lightheaded as he drips his fingers down to your neglected clit. His touch ghosting over it, as Kon slows down his lapping to hear your reply.

"We're waiting Princess❤️🩵"

I personally have a strict "no tattoos of other people's name/No matching Tattoos" policy

But I fear this would work on me 😞 also this moved so far from Free use lmao

- 👑

Yeah, the curse goes that once you've gotten a tattoo dedicated to someone the relationship is doomed, but I think i'd risk it for TimKon ❤️🩵

[egophiliac]

A-anime?

you know, sometimes I forget that Twst is actually an isekai that starts with the protagonist getting run over by an inexplicable horse-drawn carriage. and every time I'm reminded is a delight because that's AMAZING.

also. look. okay. there's a lot of very fun stuff in the trailer but I am obsessed with that Crowley surprised pikachu face. me when I spend all my keys and gems literally hours before they announce overblot SSRs and drop the anime trailer:

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[sevicia]

I honestly think I'm way too sensitive for the way the world is rn like just generally speaking ykwim. but I don't wanna change that. I spent my entire childhood unable to feel much of anything at all and accumulating piles upon piles of resentment and fear that I still can't express because it scares me. I've mentioned this a bit jokingly but it really does feel like I gained consciousness not too long ago and am just starting to feel like a person. It's been taking me a much longer time than most people my age but I try to not be too angry at myself for that because it just doesn't feel like something I would've been able to force anyways. Basically I may be stupid (💯) but I'm gonna be earnest & sincere about it.

[m-for-musings]

@unreadpoppy tagged me in a WIP Wednesday post once but it got lost in my feed and I got lost in time so there it goes. Also I wished to know what's @jellymellydraws is up to? Hum? Hum?? (no pressure and no obligation, view this as a plead for another snippet of I've Got You, if you want to share it please tag me :B)

WIP WEDNESDAY

(very late, tho)

His voice faltered, caught in his throat. He hadn't spoken of it until now, and the words seemed to choke him, refusing to be uttered. “When I got there, he was…” The memories, once pushed aside, now surged forward, wrapping around his heart like suffocating vines. “I took his life.” “You spared the elder from a miserable existence and his family from a painful burden,” Minthara responded simply. Of course she would say so. Her upbringing in the unforgiving depths of the Underdark had shaped her perspective on such matters. “Taking care of those important to you is not a burden, Minthara,” Halsin replied, his eyes filled with sorrow. “I had no right to do what I did. Not without their consent.” “Bold of you to assume that desperate relatives around a deathbed would make reasonable decisions,” she countered. “They came to me for healing—” “They came to you for aid, as every single unfortunate soul in this place, and many others, do. And you aided them. You spared his children from the helplessness of watching their father deteriorate daily. You saved his widow from the arduous task of tending to his every need, neglecting her own. You prevented the despair, the exhaustion, the anger, and the prolonged grief of watching a loved one’s life slip away. You are their leader. They came to you for your aid and guidance. They came to you because they trust your judgment. You should trust it too.” For a moment, he felt strangely comforted by her blunt assessment. The guilt that had been gnawing at him eased, replaced by a reluctant acknowledgment of the truth in her words. She spoke with a brutal honesty that resonated with him, stripping away the layers of self-reproach he had wrapped around himself. Yet, this newfound clarity brought with it a new, confusing guilt. How could he find solace in her words, knowing the pain he had caused? He agreed with Minthara, and that agreement made him uneasy. It felt wrong to find comfort in the pragmatism that dismissed the emotional complexities of the situation. He grappled with this internal conflict, torn between his moral compass and the logic of her perspective, that seemed so undeniable.

[somelazyassartist]

Ough I need to avoid my TAZ shelf when I'm tired, because reminding myself that The Adventure Zine and the graphic novels are right next to each other and how painful some of the differences between them are legitimately gives me a migraine. That and my eyes are weird so looking at comics for too long just does that anyways but I digress

[whoviandoodler]

day 302903203 of youtubers i follow saying the most autistic shit on this goddamn earth

[kirain]

My favourite bit of BG3 lore is that Withers is legitimately responsible for the Dead Three, but he's probably too embarrassed to tell you, so every time you ask him to elaborate he just gives you a very stern, "Noooo."

I also love that the reason he's responsible for their uprising is because he got bored. He literally got bored of his position as Lord of the Dead and wanted to retire, so when these three morally questionable humans came looking for godhood he was like, "Hmmm. Yes, okay. Here. Take my portfolios. Fight over them. I don't care. I quit."

So after bowling with skulls in a friendly competition to decide who would get what portfolio, they took up his powers and wreaked havoc on the world. Only at that moment did Jergal, AKA Withers, AKA our precious Bone Daddy think, "I'm just now, internally, asking myself, in quite a worried way, whether I might've made an error."

So he joins your merry band and watches your escapades, calmly twiddling his fingers while you clean up his mess. He's happy to lend his aid, even to the point that he'll bring Durge back to life if they reject Bhaal, even though he technically shouldn't. But he's Withers. The rules don't apply to him. If Ao doesn't like it, he can descend from the Heavens and say it to his rotting face.

And the reason he saves Durge isn't necessarily because he likes them or because he's a morally good entity (though one certainly could make that argument), but because he wants to add insult to injury. He steals Bhaal's child with a big smile on his face, dubs them his Chosen, and praises them for rejecting all the power they were promised. But of course, he still doesn't tell them who he is—or rather who he was.

Then, when all is said and done, he throws Tav and their companions a cute little party. No one knows it's probably half a thank you party and half a "Withers is bored again" party. And if anyone misbehaves, he'll get irritated and whisk them away. Because how dare they? He put a lot of work into that.

And at the end of it all, he walks up to a mural of the Dead Three and basically goes, "Lmao. Thou didst fuck around, and thou didst find out." Just savagely roasting them.

And then poof!

He waves them into non-existence.

[gospelica]

cw incest

"what's this 'bout a boy?"

your pervy uncle sukuna has you bent over his knee like you're about to be spanked. but rather than hit the flesh of your ass with his calloused hands, he's plunging two fingers meanly into your cunt like you deserve a punishment :(

it's not your fault! you want to say that, to beg for him to go easy on you but every time you open your pretty lips to speak all that comes out is desperate moans and pleads for more. he curls his fingers inside of you every now and then, makes you see stars just to pull that pleasure from you!

you can't be too loud, though, your parents are only in the other room. uncle sukuna is meant to be here for a family dinner, one in which he'll exchange weird jabs with your father and make your mother turn her nose up all the while he's digging nails into your thigh under the table. you haven't seen him in months now, not since the last time he visited and you ended face-down-ass-up on your pretty comforter taking his cock so deep you forgot your own name.

as if you could settle for boys your age after a taste of him.

sukuna stops his movements and, with his free hand, forces your chin up to look at him the best you can from where you're bent over his knee. "fuckin' answer me. who's the boy?"

"no one!"

"lying brat, you want me to make you cry again?"

uncle sukuna had overheard an exchange between you and your mother when he first showed up. you were telling him about a boy from your college classes that had asked you out: sweet, well mannered, probably a bore in the bedroom. your mother encouraged it, because of course she thinks you're rather lonely. after all, you've never brought a man home! she just doesn't know it's because your uncle would find a way to make his murder as cruel as possible... :(

"'m not even interested in him," you have to breathe through your mouth, squeezing around sukunas fingers which are still stalled inside of you. "he asked me out. i said no. i can't... i can't be with other guys now that i have you."

there's silence. you know your uncle doesn't like that sappy shit. he's the type to fuck you rough and mean and leave you shaking just to throw a teasing 'love you' over his shoulder as he's leaving, just to watch your eyes widen as you stand between your oblivious parents. but you also know that he's possessive. that he'll do anything he can to stake his claim on you, though because of the secrecy of your relationship that usually means inhibiting your ability to sit down without wincing for a week.

"what, you think i'm your boyfriend or something?" his fingers start up again, making your pussy squelch as he thrusts them into you at a newer, meaner pace. "got some news for you about our relationship, brat."

"no i know," you gasp as he curls his fingers up again. you're so close, so fucking close it hurts. you're digging your nails into his leg though he doesn't seem to mind at all. "still. don't want anyone else... fuuuuck, uncle sukuna, right there, please.."

you think he laughs. or maybe moans as you definitely break skin with how hard you're digging into him. he speeds up, starts rubbing your needy little clit in fast circles until you're trying to keep quiet when your orgasm crashes over you.

"look at you, talking bout boys when you can't even last with two of my fingers inside this little cunt. fucking pathetic."

he pulls his fingers out just to sharply pinch your clit before moving you to better sit on his strong lap. "i'll drive you to classes tomorrow."

you're a little too stupid from your orgasm to get his point. "what?"

"no one knows i'm your uncle. hell, you hardly knew me yourself til i started showing up. i'll drive you, walk you in, show everyone you're spoken for."

"am i spoken for?"

"tch. don't play fuckin' dumb."

[inmaki]

gojo showing off your back scratches to geto

( cont from this fic! req, visual ) .

contains: sex talk, desc of back scratches, crack, sugu is called daddy once (as a joke.. right..)

everything was relatively peaceful in suguru's apartment. key word: relatively.

a forgettable yet appreciated sunday afternoon, not a cloud in sight despite the weather forecast predicting downpours of rain. either way, the raven-haired man insouciantly rested across his white couch, reaching the conclusion that today would be a day for self-care, relaxing, and perhaps some meditation.

there was only one thing ruining his peace.

all morning, suguru has been forced to try and ignore the stain a certain someone has left on his couch — a pair of unecessarily expensive yet dirty shoes being the culprit.

despite these attempts, every once in a while his gaze can't help but wander over at the mark — as if it'd poof out of existence if he glared hard enough.

"fuckin' asshole.." he mutters. it was a wonder his relationship with his best friend managed to stay so promising despite all their differences, yet suguru wouldn't have it any other way, even after situations like this.

right when he grumpily turns back to the tv — which was playing some crappy, low budget rom-com — his apartment door is yanked open and suguru swears he nearly jumps out of his seat.

great, was this it? was he about to get robbed, perhaps evicted? and then probably die? forced into the afterlife knowing gojo's shoe-shit was still on his new couch? no that can't—

"i fucked her!"

suguru whips his head towards the apartment door, announcement being disregarded as he nearly groans in agony. speak of the devil.

big blue eyes peak out from under circular sunglasses, one hand already raised in preparation for a dap up while his stupid, big, dirty shoe pushes the door closed behind him. gojo wears a black compression shirt with grey sweats, marching over to his friend with a ginormous grin across his cheeks.

"take your shoes off, now," suguru snaps, nodding to his friend's feet with a frown.

"yeesh... whatever y'say, daddy," the bastard never loses his smile as his hands raise in surrender, kicking them off by the door smoothly. "what's got your panties in a twist?"

geto pinches his nose bridge. "don't call me that," as he continues the scolding, he points to the living room with his free hand. "you got a mystery stain on my couch, satoru. do you know how many youtube videos i watched trying to get this shit off?"

unphased, gojo takes a look at the strangely colored blob against the armrest's leather material and shrugs. "my bad. did you try febreeze?"

"what— no? dude, febreeze is for.." when suguru looks back up to sourly meet his gaze, he could immediately tell the white-haired man was already drifting back into la-la-land, words going in one ear and out the other. "..nevermind. why're you here?"

at the reminder, satoru seemingly brightens, head shooting back up as if he was just told he'd won the lottery.

"oh god, don't make that stupid face—" he pauses. "the fuck are you doing?" suguru might as well say goodbye to his self-care day, because now gojo was stripping in the middle of his living room, shirt thrown haphazardly onto the still-very-much-stained couch.

"just look!" suguru squints as his friend swivels around to face the wall, pushing his bangs away to get a better view of the— oh shit.

it takes the raven-haired man a second to process what he's seeing before shuffling forward, closely examining the achingly red, bulging scratch marks displayed sexily across the latter's back and shoulders. "no way.."

suguru knows the strongest sorcerer well enough to notice how he purposely didn't use reversed cursed technique on these scratches, just so it'd be obvious to anyone that caught a glimpse of what exactly occured. to his further dismay, he can already picture a smug and sweaty gojo walking around their local gym like this, proud simper on his pretty lips as he easily raises a pair of weights in his veiny hands.

a hiss escapes geto's mouth as he runs his finger down a particularly agitated one, knowing exactly how painful they could be after experiencing many hook-ups of his own. even so, satoru only licks his lips, neck craning to the side so he can pride himself in his friend's gobsmacked expression.

"damn, these are deep. you actually hit it?" suguru confirms, raising a celebratory hand.

turning back around, satoru daps him up, a massive smirk now on both their faces. "hell yeah, it was amazing."

it was impossible to predict what gojo would do next after barging through his front door — especially considering how many times he's done so — but this has to be the last thing suguru ever expected.

not that he was complaining — in fact, all of geto's temper and need for relaxation seemingly flew out the window, the feeling of proudness for his best friend overthrowing anything else.

and even if he hated to admit it, the way gojo was so eager to come over and announce his virginity loss to him was more than a little endearing, and dare he say cute.

"that's great, man. congrats." suguru leads him into the kitchen — still shamelessly shirtless — to grab them both a can of beer in celebration. while the white-haired man usually didn't get involved with any form of alcohol, this occasion was most definitely exception-worthy. "you made y/n cum too, right?"

an offended glare is shot his way. "duh, two times."

"huh. surprised you could last."

as suguru pours their drinks into two fragile cups, gojo exhales, not bothered in the slightest by his jab. "dude, same.." he admits dreamily. "she was so fuckin' tight and warm.. and oh— fuck, her moans? heavenly.. 'can't believe i didn't bust after the first minute.."

geto gulps, trying his best to ignore the mental image his brain was producing from his dirty words. you can't blame him — both of you were smoking hot, and he was a simple man.

even now, he could already imagine what you both looked like; panting and moaning, skin-slapping so loud that it echoed through the whole room, how blissed out you'd look as gojo's cock split you in t—

satoru's playful sigh cuts through the tensing air. "who knows sugs, maybe you'll have another kind of stain to worry about next time we're over~"

he's never snapped out of a daydream so quickly. "don't even joke about that."

over the next hour, the two men sat manspread on the stained couch, taking leisure sips while recalling satoru's final moments as a virgin — suguru giving out his secret tips and tricks along the way.

maybe sometime, suguru could offer some.. hands-on learning instead.

mlist! <- sugu.. how could u think abt ur bestie and his gf like that... tsk tsk tsk (if u enjoyed reblogs/comments r appreciated heheh)

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