#it's just me rambling and trying to sort out my thoughts

[deerlybelov3d]

Reposting this from my secondary blog on my old tumblr account (@deerly-belov3d) and migrating over to this one as my new main!

Hazbin deaged AU! ♥️✨ Generally, the older characters become younger, and the younger characters are a little older! So Alastor is 6, Husk is 4, Angel is 8, Charlie and Vaggie are 12, and so on! Luci is 100 years younger but you can’t tell bc he’s so old! 😆 the one exception is Niffty, who’s 2 years old because it’s just cute and fitting that she’s a tiny lil baby!

You’re free to draw lil Al or Husk or both, together or separate or with Lucifer or any other combination (in fact I’d CRY if you did!🥹) so long as you tag me!! I’d love to see it!!! 💖

Some rambly infodumping if you’d like to know more about the AU:

Alastor a feral little rascal but is capable of being a polite little gentleman if he chooses to be! 😆 As a de-aged gremlin he does love to scamper about with his hoovsies out, usually forgoing shoes, which adult Alastor would loathe hehe! In being de-aged, a lot of the things Alastor tries to hard to present himself as (refined, in-control of his every reaction, put-together and neat, etc!) are mostly stripped away, and he’s left even more impulsive, reactive (both negative and positive emotions!), inclined to blab what he’s thinking, act messy and unrefined, etc! Which again, older Alastor would HATE 😆

Little Alastor absolutely WILL bite, no hesitation! He also loves to eat things that most definitely should not be eaten! 😆 Alastor’s shadow shrunk down to match him and helps him get into mischief too hehe!

Lucifer makes all the de-aged kiddos their outfits and delights in doing so! 😆 He makes them other outfits and little pajamas too! He loves being able to be a dad to little ones again, even if he is SUPER overwhelmed by just how many there are that he’s responsible for! Particularly without Lilith here to help this time☹️ His mental health, as we know, isn’t—great! So this is a good motivator, in a way, that he can’t bedrot for days on end with no word to anyone, but also, for that very reason, it’s also very hard on him that he can’t just have a moment to decompress! Charlie and Vaggie are old enough that they can help out some, but young enough that Lucifer can’t rely on them to be left too long with the little ones without supervision! 😆

All the kids have very different food preferences, different levels of development, different bedtimes, different clothing preferences, different play styles, some need baths/showers more often, some need help and supervision bathing, some don’t, and it’s very hectic all the time, and Lucifer is having a TIME trying to accommodate everyone and make sure no one gets into trouble or gets hurt and everyone has what they need!

Little Al is obsessed with 4-year-old Husk and treats him like his favorite stuffie, hefting him around—with little regard for if it’s comfortable for Husk or not—and petting him, pulling on his tail and wings, nibbling on him, etc! Little Husk can walk an all fours and on two legs, and he doesn’t speak, only make kitty sounds, and the rest of the Hazbin Hotel doesn’t know really know for sure how old he is or if he’s not speaking by choice or not! Alastor also adore baby Niffty, but he’s noticeably more gentle and tender with her than he is with Husk! 😆

Lil Husk is very picky, and loves drinking from bottles even if he’s technically too old to be doing so! (BECAUSE IT’S TOO CUTE😭)

If there’s any nterest for this AU I can post more of my thoughts and make more art and just share more about the AU in general! If you read any of this I love you and any sort of engagement is so very super appreciated! 🫶💖✨

[deerly-belov3d]

Edit: go follow my new main @deerlybelov3d for more of this AU and more from me in general! 🤗💖

Hazbin deaged AU! ♥️✨ Generally, the older characters become younger, and the younger characters are a little older! So Alastor is 6, Husk is 4, Angel is 8, Charlie and Vaggie are 12, and so on! Luci is 100 years younger but you can’t tell bc he’s so old! 😆 the one exception is Niffty, who’s 2 years old because it’s just cute and fitting that she’s a tiny lil baby!

You’re free to draw lil Al or Husk or both, together or separate or with Lucifer or any other combination (in fact I’d CRY if you did!🥹) so long as you tag me!! I’d love to see it!!! 💖

Some rambly infodumping if you’d like to know more about the AU:

Alastor a feral little rascal but is capable of being a polite little gentleman if he chooses to be! 😆 As a de-aged gremlin he does love to scamper about with his hoovsies out, usually forgoing shoes, which adult Alastor would loathe hehe! In being de-aged, a lot of the things Alastor tries to hard to present himself as (refined, in-control of his every reaction, put-together and neat, etc!) are mostly stripped away, and he’s left even more impulsive, reactive (both negative and positive emotions!), inclined to blab what he’s thinking, act messy and unrefined, etc! Which again, older Alastor would HATE 😆

Little Alastor absolutely WILL bite, no hesitation! He also loves to eat things that most definitely should not be eaten! 😆 Alastor’s shadow shrunk down to match him and helps him get into mischief too hehe!

Lucifer makes all the de-aged kiddos their outfits and delights in doing so! 😆 He makes them other outfits and little pajamas too! He loves being able to be a dad to little ones again, even if he is SUPER overwhelmed by just how many there are that he’s responsible for! Particularly without Lilith here to help this time☹️ His mental health, as we know, isn’t—great! So this is a good motivator, in a way, that he can’t bedrot for days on end with no word to anyone, but also, for that very reason, it’s also very hard on him that he can’t just have a moment to decompress! Charlie and Vaggie are old enough that they can help out some, but young enough that Lucifer can’t rely on them to be left too long with the little ones without supervision! 😆

All the kids have very different food preferences, different levels of development, different bedtimes, different clothing preferences, different play styles, some need baths/showers more often, some need help and supervision bathing, some don’t, and it’s very hectic all the time, and Lucifer is having a TIME trying to accommodate everyone and make sure no one gets into trouble or gets hurt and everyone has what they need!

Little Al is obsessed with 4-year-old Husk and treats him like his favorite stuffie, hefting him around—with little regard for if it’s comfortable for Husk or not—and petting him, pulling on his tail and wings, nibbling on him, etc! Little Husk can walk an all fours and on two legs, and he doesn’t speak, only make kitty sounds, and the rest of the Hazbin Hotel doesn’t know really know for sure how old he is or if he’s not speaking by choice or not! Alastor also adore baby Niffty, but he’s noticeably more gentle and tender with her than he is with Husk! 😆

Lil Husk is very picky, and loves drinking from bottles even if he’s technically too old to be doing so! (BECAUSE IT’S TOO CUTE😭)

If there’s any nterest for this AU I can post more of my thoughts and make more art and just share more about the AU in general! If you read any of this I love you and any sort of engagement is so very super appreciated! 🫶💖✨

[scattered-winter]

made the mistake of reading through the political discussions on my big family groupchat that I usually keep muted. you must never do such a thing.

[averlym]

whshdfhfjf.,,,

[itsalwaysdark]

i was gonna make a post abt how i dont rly like like. Genre changing covers of songs and then realized upon introspection is that i sort of just dont like rock covers of songs generally

[puke-ur-gutz]

i ♡ going into verbose over-explaining mode in fear of being misinterpreted and then being misinterpreted anyways

[i-could-be-so-much-more]

It frustrates me to no end that everyone I talk to someone new my brain catastrophises to the point where even though I know logically it’s fine, and normal, and fun, I end up making it a bigger deal in my head that I know it is…I think myself into spirals that the logical part of my brain knows are ridiculous and dramatic and improbable, which stress me out more than is entirely necessary…it’s so tiring to exist and participate in the social world sometimes

[snow-and-saltea]

yesterday i spent 45 minutes of my life watching a video essay criticising the use of cheap shock values and crossing of taboos for a video game and i went from "he has a point even if he's explaining it in a really inflammatory way" to "oh umm... i can see how he thinks that way even if i don't agree" to "oh this guy's just straight up using people on tumblr as material for an audience to get mad at like other outdated people on the internet. nvm he's just an asshole"

[mirananananan]

i just imagine that tommy is the actual chillest adult in jackson who is constantly busting the teens for smoking weed, but it's just so he can let them know that it reeks and they're about to give the entire town a contact high. they always offer him a joint, and he's like, "uh yeah no i don't want your shitty weed, thanks though."

[snaplight-anxiety]

I dunno if this has been said before but I had a revelation a while ago that i wish i had understood years earlier which is this:

You cannot evaluate any given book and it’s television or movie adaptation with the same criteria. You have to evaluate them as two separate things. The adaptation is never going to be the exact same as the book. They are two entirely different forms of media and storytelling, and you have to treat them as such. In the same way, I find that it’s helpful to not treat them as the same story, either. The adaptation, in my head, is easier accepted in its differences if you view it as something just inspired by its source material. Yes, it is annoying and upsetting if and when the film falls short of your expectations. But that’s the thing. By separating the two things, you can ease those expectations. Go into it loving the original story, and go out of it with a brand new thing to consider. They’re two separate universes. They cannot be the same, and it’s kind of unfair to treat something poorly just because it wasn’t exactly what you thought it was.

Now, I’m not saying you can’t compare the two, or that examining what the book has that the adaptation doesn’t and vice versa can’t be fascinating in how it changes the story and theme, or that you can’t have opinions on which you like better. Just that you can’t always say the original is better just because it came first and is different than its adaptation

[midwesternfields]

let it be known that I completed my journal today, like I wrote on the last available page for it

holy shit

[babisawyer]

finally got to watch scream 5 since 6 is now up for streaming worst experience of my life.

[im-with-nasa]

why??? did almost everyone i knew from my high school turn to some sort of extremism when we graduated??? was it the pandemic??? being chronically online??? COLLEGE??? i just wanna know omg

[wordiestwyrm]

my LEAST fucking favourite thing about being myself is that i communicate very differently from anyone else, have not too different (mostly) but VERY specific, fluid needs, and no one seems to be able (or maybe willing) to properly listen when i tell them that much upfront.

honestly, some of it IS my fault. the specific thing that would be helpful to people communicating with me is just, them not making assumptions, and i often forget to say so upfront. but to be fair when i do people often proceed to make assumptions anyway and then get pissy when i remind them i asked NOT to do that so i honestly dunno what is left for me to change about my approach

the only person who makes me feel heard and seen is my partner, really. everyone else is a ship in the night sailing by what might be a pile of seaweed, an odd ship wreak, a massive creature, or land, depending on how the light hits- i am, obviously, The Mass.

but that's all just a preface. the reason it is my least favourite thing is that NO ONE believes them when i say i am very different. everyone treats it with a layer of skepticism, mostly as a sort of 'oh you poor soul, isolating yourself, feeling alone in your suffering even though you're not, alienated from your community...' if they mean well and 'wow no. you're not that special' if they don't (often some mixture of both plus some other things)

but yeah. that peeves me all the way to hell. do those people KNOW why i wanted so badly to belong to the autistic community, to the plural community, to the queer community, to ANY COMMUNITY AT ALL ? do they not realise all i have ever done, all i have ever wanted, ALL i have EVER craved was to just, belong, to be like someone? and obviously another part of me RELISHES in this weirdness, and has always wanted to be unique, but it's not quite here right now so all i have is being utterly special and hating most of what it brings.

it's like,,, in this society, either you are Just Like Everyone Else, aka Normal, aka you have the same resources, the same ability to access them and the same relationship to them as everyone else, or you are Subhuman Scum, aka Abnormal, aka you FAILED to access those resources in the right way so you are not worth even looking at.

With the example of queer people (or like a half of the queer community really, things are never so easy), as that is what i feel qualified to speak on, we are somewhat on the precipice of these two categories. People recognise we should be treated Just Like Everyone Else, but we are not normal by the standard definition, we are Deficient.

so far what that had meant is that the definition expanded a bit in some circles. not nearly enough to include all of us, but it did! the resource of cis-hetero attraction and reproduction is no longer quite so required by society. cool !! in other ways most of us are still seen as Subhuman Scum on at least some level so that's fun. lmao

anyway all this to say i am Also on the precipice in a similar sense, tho obviously more individually. i work hard, i do my best to be kind to everyone, i'm clearly putting in all the effort i can, and yet i am weak, i break so easily, i snap, my attitude changes, my behaviour changes, i am needy, i struggle to talk, i don't fit in-

and i have all the Identities that sort of explain that, so they try to treat me nice, like they would anyone else. but i'm not anyone else.

i'm not 'normal'. i loathe the word. i loathe the implication anything about me is, because it has only ever been used to deny my feelings, to deny my autonomy, my intellect. i think that might just be something i have the most in common with other humans, this understanding i'm not like the norm; the norm doesn't really... exist, as anything but a theoretical (and oppressive. btw) concept.

but there are degrees.

some people feel deeply on a level i cannot claim that they are not human. i did, too, once. but i know i am. i know most of my responses could be attributed to this mental illness or that personality disorder or those traumas. i know my brain, my nervous system, are in the same genus as everyone else's; i know i occupy the role of a human in society.

it's just that... i also feel a disconnect from it all, not a 'thin layer of film' as that one tumblr post put it but a muffling, blurry and thick wall. and i myself don't fully understand it. and i wish that people assumed less that i am inviting them to deny my lived reality when i say that, and tried to understand, to help me understand.

really, i do want people to make assumptions about me.

i want them to assume i am intelligent, and my intentions are good.

returning me that favour is the least they can do.

[arolesbianism]

Y'know I should talk abt Otto more. I may have not that many thoughts on them but they're my special lil guy who torments me everyday by having the fun writing quirk of being actively misgendered when no other nonbinary character is to my knowledge. I also think they're a transfem nonbinary egg.

[sleep-0-deprived]

Yandere CEO who is serious and strict but becomes a real puppy at the reader's feet, he gives everything the reader wants and kneels before him asking to be able to touch and give pleasure to the reader.

Yandere CEO x male reader imagines~! ૮꒰ྀི ⸝⸝․․⸝⸝ ྀི꒱ა

A/N (I did the Yandere as a sub top and I thought of the Yandere being mid forties while reader being late twenties because I thought it fit best anon!) <33

Just imagining Yandere CEO being a complete heartless man to the world, old and cold as they say. Until he seen your resume running across his desk and if you told him of love at first sight he would scoff at you and kick you out but oh my, when he seen the small picture of you next to your resume he didn’t even care to read it because this man was going to have you. The only words he could think of was “he must’ve been crafted by the gods, I bet Adonis himself spent his life carving those lips” shivers went through him dialing your number trying to get a interview with you.

Just imagining Yandere CEO who hires you at first for your pretty face making you his assistant putting you a desk in his office wanting all eight hours of your days to be spent close as he can get to you, being soft and sweet for you unlike his mean and cold demeanor with the rest of his employees. he’d glance over at you typing something on your computer quietly asking “are you alright? Did you need a break, your hands aren’t sore are they?….i can get you into a nice spa if you’d like. I don’t want my best employee burnt out”

Just imagining Yandere CEO who gets you gifts on the daily nearly pouting if you tell him not to, all he wants is for you to cling to him! He’d beg and plead asking you to let him suck you off whispering in your ear “let me help you out, boy?…I wanna ease you up a bit, you deserve the best so just let me give it to you” he’d mumble getting on his knees and massaging your thighs nice and gentle getting your cock out of your slacks worshipping it nuzzling his face into it peppering your angry tip with wet kisses.

Just imagining Yandere CEO who sends you flowers takes you on fancy trips. Sending you to Rome with him when he goes to sort out business you’re sitting somewhere in a fancy restaurant holding his black card telling you “buy anything you want, I wanna spoil you baby..” and by the time he gets back to your five star hotel room all he asks os for all your affection groaning into your ears holding you by the waist bucking and thrusting his hips up into you from beneath murmuring on and on rambling having you on his cock sending shivers through him “oh you’re so perfect~ pretty little thing~ hng oh fuck moan a little louder you sound angelic like that—“ he’d whimper spilling into you nibbling on your shoulder softly.

Just imagining Yandere CEO who asks you all sweetly if he can have you cock warm him while he manages files, pleading just wanting to please you wanting to have you all sprawled out like a happy cat with his chubby tip pressing and massaging your walls just bullying your prostate while he tugs at your cock like its glass having you orgasming more times than you can count pleasing you like it’s his life’s mission “c’mon baby boy, one more for me? I know you can push it out shhh doin perfect there’s a good boy”

Just imagining Yandere CEO who loves your chest, worshipping them as his holy grail sucking at hurrying his fave in your pretty s/c pecks. Nibbling at your nipples pressing little kisses to your peaks using his hands to massage them while he rotates back and forth making sure each one gets the perfect amount of attention “they are so beautiful sweetheart, god your skin tastes so divine” it was like sex polling with your skin covered in the finest nectar for him driving him insane hazily looking up at you with complete and utter infatuation.