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army-of-mai-lovers · 4 years ago

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Re: misogyny in atla fandom post. I’m a butch/gnc woman and there’s so few representation for women like me. I really relate to toph and admire her for being androgynous and masculine but still being a woman. She shows that there’s no “wrong” way to be a woman and that you can reject gendered expectations and still be female. She’s the only character I’ve ever been able to relate to for this. I feel like it’s kind of misogynistic when people HC her as a trans guy or non binary with they/them pronouns. I’m all for HCing characters as trans, but with toph it feels weird.

She’s constrained by the expectations put upon her for being a girl in a patriarchal society and also being disabled, and how those two intersect. But her acceptance of being disabled & and a girl and breaking the stereotypes pushed upon her for those facets of her identity is the whole point! And as a disabled gnc woman, I feel like stripping her of her womanhood bc she’s masculine/androgynous is the same as stripping her of her disability because she’s strong. Idk

This is a really interesting perspective, anon! Outside of tumblr, I’m a prospective gender studies minor, and in my gender studies classes we have this practice called situating. Basically, I explain who I am, so you know where I’m coming from. Esp wrt things like race, gender, and sexuality, you can read and learn and listen to other people, but you’ll only ever truly know your own experience, and it’s important for people to know that’s where your perspective on a certain debate is coming from. So, hi, I’m Arthur, I’m an afab nonbinary person who uses they/them pronouns, my gender expression is very much in a period of flux because I don’t have the ability to socially or medically transition as much as I’d like, so, at least for right now, most people interpret me as a sometimes gnc cis woman. Because I’m most often interpreted as a cis girl, even though that is not who I am at all, I experience misogyny, and that is unfortunately part of my trans experience. That doesn’t give me the authority to speak over women at all, but I do think it was a large part of me noticing the misogyny in this fandom and deciding to write what I did (and I’m so glad it resonated with you!) All of that colors the way I view gnc characters, as well as trans/nonbinary characters, and misogyny, within fandom and without.

So, now that you understand where my thoughts are coming from, here they are. I definitely think it’s transphobic to hc Toph as a trans guy if you are not transmasc yourself. I’ve never seen trans guy hcs for Toph, but the idea of cis ppl equating this canonically cis girl character to someone who is unequivocally, indisputably, a guy, makes me super uncomfy. If there’s a trans guy out there who really relates to Toph and wants to create and develop that hc in a way that works for you, be my guest, but I do not have the authority or the desire to make trans guy Toph hcs.

As for the nonbinary thing... I will admit, they/them Toph hcs make me feel seen, probably the same way you feel seen by Toph as an unapologetically androgynous/masculine cis girl. I answered some asks a couple weeks ago about lesbian hcs, and in that I talked about how since both lesbians and bi girls are underrepresented in media, hcs that might make one group feel seen and valued are gonna make another group feel erased, and I’m not really sure how to resolve that. The same goes for hcs around androgynous afab characters: butch women and afab* nby folks have so little representation that hcs that make one group feel seen are going to make another group feel erased. As a afab nonbinary person who uses they/them pronouns, who has never connected with any concept of womanhood despite sometimes having a pretty femme gender expression, I do relate to Toph a whole lot. I’ve also had to navigate (and am still navigating!) a minefield of gendered expectations in a patriarchal society, and talking and listening to and reading about other trans people, it seems to be a pretty integral part of the trans experience (not that there is one sole trans experience, we’re all very different, but that’s a topic for another time). The gender binary is, after all, a central feature of Western white supremacist patriarchal constructions of gender, and if you deviate in any way, whether it’s through being gender nonconforming, or through being trans/nonbinary, you’re probably going to have to fight really hard to exist and survive and feel confident in your body and your expression, because society is constantly sending you the message that you are deviant and thus not worthy. And it’s nice to think of your favorite character as having some of the same experiences you do.

I will say, I see they/them Toph headcanons more often than I see they/them Katara or they/them Yue, and I’d encourage people to really dig deep and think about why they’re more comfortable hcing an androgynous character as being nonbinary than they would be a more obviously feminine character (especially since nonbinary folk come in all gender expressions). I also would just love to see more transfem hcs! People for whatever reason seem way more comfortable hcing male characters as trans guys than they do hcing female characters as trans girls (and the reason is transmisogyny--Mae @transtenzin made a post about this a couple months ago about how most transfem atla hcs are characters like Smellerbee, while transmasc hcs can center around more major characters like Zuko or Sokka--a wonderful post that I would link to if tumblr’s search function weren’t absolute shit.)

But at the end of the day, I am going to have to disagree with you on thinking of nonbinary Toph hcs as misogynistic, because I know as a disabled afab nonbinary person myself, I’ve dealt with a lot of the same struggles that Toph deals with in the show, and I’m sure there are a lot of other afab nonbinary folks who feel the same way. However, I understand feeling frustrated by people hcing a canonically androgynous female character as nonbinary. I hope what I’ve said here can offer you a little insight into the other side of this, and I so appreciate you offering me insight into your side.

Another thing to note: while I haven’t seen trans guy Toph hcs, I have seen people hc Toph as a he/him lesbian. He/him lesbians are of course a valued part of our community, and I applaud any and all he/him lesbian Toph hcs. Pronouns =/= gender.

Tl;dr don’t hc Toph as a trans guy unless you are a trans guy and even then I would tread lightly, gender and transness and representation is complicated and I’m not entirely sure how to resolve conflicts between different groups of marginalized people who are trying to find rep in opposing hcs of the same character, and imo hcing Toph as nonbinary is not misogynistic (but my opinion is not the final word on any subject!) Also, we stan he/him lesbians.

*amab nby folks of course also receive very little rep, probably even less than afab nby folks, and that is a very important conversation to have, but seeing as 1) this ask was about hcs for an afab character, and 2) I am not amab and therefore very unqualified to lead a conversation about hcing certain characters as amab or the larger field of amab nby rep, I thought it best to focus on afab nonbinary people in this post.

#technically I am gone but this ask tickled my gender philosophy bone so we're answering it #anons #replies #transphobia #transmisogyny #swearing tw #discourse

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nothorses · 4 years ago

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heyy! first of all i hope you're doing well. thank you for taking the time out to read and respond to this (if you choose to). this has been bothering me for a while and i'd like your opinion on it.

i read these two articles recently - the first one is about a lesbian professor of gender studies + sexuality arguing why women should be allowed to "hate men"; the second is an interview with her about the article in which she addresses some of the negative responses she got to that article.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/why-cant-we-hate-men/2018/06/08/f1a3a8e0-6451-11e8-a69c-b944de66d9e7_story.html

https://outline.com/ttKscw

i have a lot of questions about this.

firstly, i cannot tell whether this is the sort of reductionist, radfemmy, "fuck all men" feminist you've been talking about. i understand her sentiments but i disagree with her statement, and i want to get better at identifying shallow feminism. i don't think my personal opinion is credible enough (yet) to draw any conclusions right off the bat. are there any 'tells' or signs that indicate what sort of feminism someone is speaking about (in the same way that there are certain idenitifiers of TERF ideology even when it is not explicitly mentioned)? for example, in the interview, she explicitly says "Where is discrimination? Where are men being excluded? Where are men being abused? Oh, come on." as well as her implied praise of kamala harris as 'the feminist we need in office'. are those things indicators of whether her position on feminism is credible/an appropriate portrayal of how Feminism™ should function? in short, do i take this woman entirely seriously about all this?

secondly, how do you feel about gender being a social construct, as she states? does that not contradict the very real physical dysphoria that a lot of us experience? doesn't it invalidate almost all the experiences of struggle against transphobia and cissexism, as well as our identities, by painting gender identity as 'not a big deal' or 'fake' by virtue of being a social construct? also, is gender identity not influenced by biology to some extent?

thirdly, along a similar vein, how do you feel about gender abolitionism? i don't exactly have a v specific question about this one, i just want another trans person's opinion on how that sort of society would affect them. i do not wish to be stripped of my identity, and i am opposed to gender abolitionism because of that. is this sentiment a product of some misunderstanding i have?

if you have any other thoughts at all about the articles, i'd love to hear those. thank you!

Oooh, anon, these are such good questions.

Why Can’t We Hate Men? by Suzanna Walters

Follow-Up Interview with Walters

Walters does a weird sort of dance in both articles: her argument is that “hating men” is okay and even good, but she has to completely misrepresent what “hating men” is, does, and means in order to make her point align with what she actually believes is defensible.

“Hating men” is not actually about hating men, she says; she doesn’t hate men at all, in fact. She knows they’re not the problem, but rather the systems of patriarchy in place. She knows racism and other intersections make “hating men” complicated at best, and harmful at worst. She just wants men to “lean back” and understand the power they hold; to be feminists. She thinks it’s a good thing to welcome men into feminism.

So then what the hell does “hating men” actually mean, to her? Why make that the hill to die on, if nothing in her argument has anything to do with that hill?

I don’t think she really believes any of the arguments she’s making in the first place. Walters pays lipservice to racism and intersectionality in a brief comment, then never brings it up again. Her view of feminist issues is narrow and shallow, dealing mostly with “the safety of women” and the representation of women in positions of power; both of which fail to address the structural issues of the patriarchy and how it functions, and prioritize Making Women Powerful over dismantling the systems of oppression giving people power over each other in the first place. She believes that all men are universally and inherently benefiting from the patriarchy, and that men in fact are the system to be fought.

Some of this pings as TERFy, too. Walters never really argues against radical feminism. Her argument against gender-essentialism is, as you said, that gender shouldn’t exist at all- but she claims the patriarchy discriminates based on genitalia.

You caught that as well; “where are men being oppressed/abused?” she says, after her performative gesture toward intersectionality. Walters also compares the oppression of women to racism at the same time, which... holy shit.

I’d personally peg her as a mainstream liberal feminist. She’s a successful white professor who sincerely believes that her experiences as a woman are universal. Her takes are surface-level and shallow at best, and edging dangerously close to radical feminism and quiet TERFism at worst.

TL;DR: The Author

She’s a mainstream liberal feminist who makes a string of confused, contradicting arguments because she chose to die on a hill she doesn’t really understand. Her arguments stray TERFy and racist on multiple occasions.

RE: Gender questions

What gender is and where it comes from is a complicated question, and I don’t think there’s a simple answer to it. The major arguments are that it’s social, biological, or psychological; either it comes from how you’re socialized, what your genitals look like, or it’s something built into your brain chemistry (think “wrong body” trans theory).

I personally think it’s a bit of a mix, leaning toward the social and psychological, and that where gender “comes from” is a little different for each individual. Biology has a bit to do with it; we’ve had somewhat consistent ideas "man” and “woman” across various cultures.

But what gender means in each society is different, and how people conceptualize it has been different. What gender someone feels they are may be influences by their culture’s gender expectations. Some indigenous cultures even have anywhere from two to five distinct “genders”, and I can say personally that my conceptualization of my own gender relies pretty heavily on how other people perceive and treat me.

Not to mention that trans people have existed for as long as people in general have, even in societies that lack any formal gender concept for trans folks. So psychology must play a role, too.

So if we strip away all social expectations of gender, we’re still left with psychological and biological influences on gender. Which is part of why I don’t think we can abolish gender to begin with; people will always have internal understandings of gender to some extent, and they’ll always express them, and therefore there will always be a social element to gender. We can, however, work toward abolishing restrictive, binaristic, oppressive gender structures that limit and punish expressions of gender.

And as a sidenote, the whole “gender is just a social construct, but genitals are real” and “we should abolish all concept of gender” thing is extremely TERFy. There are thoughtful and trans-inclusive ways of approaching the question, but usually we’re talking about gender as part of a system of power and oppression. Walters is using the TERF framework that their “gender critical” comes from: gender isn’t real, therefore trans people aren’t real. Patriarchy is just based on biological realities and sex, and we should abolish the idea of gender (as code for abolishing trans rights and theory).

TL;DR: Gender

I personally believe that gender is a synthesis of biological, psychological, and social influences that is highly unique to every individual. There’s no real way to “abolish” it, only systems of power and oppression that rely on and enforce it. Walters’ way of discussing it is extremely TERFy, and her arguments should be heavily scrutinized.

#feminism #gender #trans #transgender #long post #I USED A READMORE I HOPE YALL ARE HAPPY #not horses #Anon #Ask

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flying-elliska · 3 years ago

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I feel like coming out is such a different experience for people who aren’t at the two polar ends of the sexuality/gender spectrum. Like imaging being queer and being nervous to not only come out to straight ppl, but to be extremely nervous to come out to gays and lesbians. I’ve been in a lot of queer circles where ppl assumed I was a lesbian just because I was in a queer space and a female, and I’ve heard the most horrible things about bi/pan and even ace, trans, and nb people from both groups. In some instances I’ve been even more reluctant to come out to lesbians than anyone else. I was once berated by a lesbian because I talked about SA as a child and an adult and the thing she focused on was that they were men and how could I have sex with men and call myself a lesbian. Wow. I was SHOCKED! Even after explaining that I’m pan/bi (I fit under the pan label but I always identified as bi b/c pan wasn’t really a label back when I came out in high school). I’ve been told by gay family members that I need to make a choice already. To pick one sexuality because being bi is just confusion. I’ve been told that if I’m dating a man then that means I’m straight and vice versa. I’ve had my sexual identity mocked and disrespected. I’ve even felt like it’s been erased in some peoples minds because they don’t consider it legitimate. I don’t even tell anyone that I’m enby at this point. I just don’t really understand why people feel the need to know these things anyway. Like it’s an identifier or something. So yeah, I now live my life by being casually queer and it’s honestly interesting watching ppl try and figure it out. I encourage others to do the same now.

Oh anon, I am so sorry you had to go through that, that's horrifying. I truly hope the people who told you these awful things do some serious introspecting and learning, because being gay doesn't give you an excuse to be that heinous. Especially that victim blaming stuff. And I hope you have/find more supportive people and some healing, because hearing that sort of stuff can be seriously damaging and you deserve better. 💗💗💗 it's a whole new sort of heartbreaking because you'd expect gays and lesbians to get what it's like to have your sexuality invalidated, but apparently empathy and basic self awareness is still too much for certain people.

I haven't had experiences like these but I have been in mainstream lgbt spaces where it was assumed you were monosexual and you had to correct ppl constantly, and there was a lot of casual biphobia or in the best scenarios bi+ identities were forgotten or tacked on as an awkward add on. And the last time I looked into French wlw online circles there was just so much biphobia everywhere, and the general attitude was "those uppity bis don't know what it's like to truly be oppressed so they should just stop wanting attention, shut up and be lucky to be at least a little included, and most of all shut up about their disgusting boyfriends". It was very discouraging.

I feel like we've gotten some progress the last few years in terms of the acceptance/representation/awareness for bi+ identities but it's still not where it should be. If you haven't/can I really encourage you to look up bi+ specific spaces because those can be so healing (and they tend to also be much more intersectional, trans-inclusive and tolerant of gender variation in general.) And I think it's great that you're just living your life now - you don't owe people explanations. Like in an ideal world it would be absolutely no big deal to tell people your sexuality but as it stands sometimes it's also great to give no explanation at all and let people flounder and maybe realize their assumptions are limited. But I really hope you will find more tolerant people too that will allow you to be open about your full identity <3

#bi pride #lgbt #bisexuality #biphobia

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fancytrinkets · 3 years ago

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writing tag game

Thank you for tagging me @johaeryslavellan!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

246,241

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The top 4 are Good Omens fic followed by one Dragon Age 2 fic from years ago:

The Angel Line (humor) (Aziraphale/Crowley)

The Naked Truth (humor) (Aziraphale/Crowley)

Obliviate (romance, bittersweet, happy ending) (Aziraphale/Crowley)

The Last Battle (humor) (Aziraphale/Crowley)

In Good Hands (humor) (FHawke/Varric)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I didn’t used to respond to every comment back when I started posting, but now I reply to everything. I just love the whole commenting process. I like talking about the world I’m writing in with other people who love it, too. I am always SO EXCITED to see the (1) notification for my ao3 inbox. And it is unbearably wonderful to see a (2), (3), or more at a time. I’ve noticed I’m usually equally excited if it’s a comment on my fic or a reply to a comment I’ve left on someone else’s fic. (Sometimes I experience a mix of appreciation and disappointment when it’s a new comment for me if I’m expecting a reply back from another writer about their fic. That’s such a strange feeling and I wonder sometimes if other people get that, too.)

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, I don’t really do angst. And probably that’s not what people want from me anyway, judging by how many of my top fics are humorous.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I mean they all have some degree of happy ending, so I’m not sure how to measure them against each other. For some of them, the happy ending is also a ‘happy ending’ if you know what I mean..

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I don’t. Unless you count the silly stories my friends and I wrote for each other in high school? We definitely had some X-Files, Lord of the Rings, vampire universes intersecting with each other, but I can’t really remember a lot of that because I was 15 then and now I am 40.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I haven’t. I’m very glad about that.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh, yes I do. It’s the loving, vanilla kind mostly. I am willing to read more adventurously than I’m interested in writing.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. I mean I hope! If I have, I haven’t realized it!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A bunch of my Good Omens fic has been translated into German and Russian, which is so cool. I love that people translate fics. I can’t read either of those languages, so I can’t personally vouch for how the translations turned out in terms of mood and tone and pacing with the word choices used, but that’s part of the beauty of being in fandom spaces where everyone is coming in with their own talents to share and develop. Translation is an art that needs to be practiced and no two translators will approach a work the same way.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, though it was something I was interested in — and seriously considering — with a wonderful, talented Good Omens writing friend before I kind of lost all my steam for Good Omens writing.

What's your all time favourite ship?

Whatever ship I’m into at any give time. So that means right now it’s Dorian/MTrevelyan from Dragon Age, but who knows what it’s going to be in 5 or 10 years...

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Oh, I have a Good Omens fic set in 1885 that stalled out because I was doing too much research and not enough writing. I’m not sure if I want to finish it, though. I just put a lot of outlining and drafting time into it. And then I just lost momentum. I doubt I’ll ever come back to that and I’m okay with it.

What are your writing strengths?

I’m good at dialogue. I also think I’m good at keeping an eye on the pacing at the scene level — speeding things up when I need to, slowing things down when it’s called for. And I am REALLY good at editing. I don’t hang onto stuff that doesn’t fit just because I like it. I have removed thousands and thousands of words of writing I really love just because it’s not quite where things need to go. I find that fun. I always save what I cut and sometimes reuse it later.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes I really struggle with character voice. While dialogue is a strength in general, that same thing can be really tough when I’m not hearing the voice of certain characters the way I’d like to. I also think a potential weakness is how I don’t like putting characters through deeply traumatic experiences. I like caretaking and treating the characters I write with gentleness. It’s deeply enjoyable for me, though perhaps it’s not always what makes a story satisfying.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don’t do it. My native language is English and my two learned languages —Spanish and French — are so long abandoned that it would be difficult to get any of it back. So I tend not to include other languages because I don’t have that expertise. When I’m reading a fic in English — because that’s all I can read well — I always appreciate footnotes with translations for the parts in a different language. I don’t tend to have the sustained focus to go back, copy-paste, and Google translate everything. So anything that isn’t translated in a footnote is just content I miss. That’s totally fine if the writer isn’t writing it for me — if they want to add extra layers of meaning for multilingual people. But if the writer wants everyone to know, then please, yes, put the footnote in!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The X-Files with my friends in high school, but while there was an internet back then, none of us had connected computers, so these were just stories we wrote for each other.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

I don’t know if I can pick one! I like most of what I write even years later, but I don’t know how to stack them against each other. Some are serious while others are funny, and even cracky — some stick close to canon, while some are deeply transformative and weird. They all feel so different to me.

Right now I am really enjoying my Dragon Age Inquisition work-in-progress, Bold Indeed, a Trevelyan/Dorian romance that deals with: love, friendship, loss, gentleness, justice, what we owe each other (yes, I thinking of you, Chidi from The Good Place), what it means to become a ‘good’ murderer as part of your job, how easy it can be to fit within authoritarian structures, how difficult it can be to push against and overturn an established order, the inadequacy of kindness — but also the potentially transformative power of kindness. And all of that is tucked into the story of a mature and gentle romance between two people who are each going through a process of personal growth and change. Anyway, it’s a weird writing project, but I love it despite my occasional anxieties about whether I am a deeply bad person (hah, yes, I know how that sounds, but I also feel it seriously sometimes).

#memes #writing tag game #dragon age fanfiction #good omens fanfiction #my writing

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bigskydreaming · 3 years ago

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In a mood and I’m trying not to be, but oof. Not easy at the moment. Real life stresses are kicking my butt and I’m decidedly limited in resources for addressing that at the moment, so might as well get this off my chest, lol. Already lost the usual fifty followers or so I lose every single time I post about stuff the way I did the other day, so what’s some more, y’know?

So earlier today I tried to get my mind off things with some fic, and happened across one I hadn’t read before that promised Jason and Dick talking things out and bonding. Halfway through I sighed and went oh, this is familiar, and skipped to the bottom to check the end notes and comments to see if there was any mention of this next part, but nope. The reason for the sigh was it took me about halfway into the fic to realize that it was blatantly inspired by my post about what if Jason was missing some memories from his death/resurrection and the Pit, like specifically the ski trip they took, stuff like that. Now I’m not so egotistical as to think nobody but me has certain ideas, but its fairly easy for me to recognize when someone is basing something off a post of mine because of specific turns of phrases that I use and like, they hit ten or so bullet points from my post without missing a one. Like, there’s parallel evolution and similar ideas, and then there’s going down a check list, y’know?

And don’t get me wrong....I don’t mind people basing stuff of my posts, being inspired by them, etc. I WANT that. I’m GLAD to have that happen.

The part I mind is the way this all ties back into my interaction with fandom as a whole....and this fandom’s interaction with me. Which I don’t tend to hear NEARLY as much about as I tend to have people giving me shit about my impact on fandom....but ONLY the negative impact.

In the four years or so that I’ve been active in this fandom, I can think of only three people who have given me some kinda shout out for being the basis of one of their fics. Three people. And in that time I’ve come across literal dozens of fics that I am almost certain can trace their way back to popular posts of mine. There’s the post about Jason’s memories and the ski trip for one - this fic isn’t an isolated occurrence, I’ve found a good half a dozen or so I feel fall into the same pattern. There’s fics based off my posts about how fucked up the blame Dick got for Spyral was, with my certainty based on the fact that I know I’m the only fucking person who ever brought up various key phrases like “Bruce not having an extraction plan for Dick’s highly dangerous undercover op, leaving him stranded when Bruce got/(chose) amnesia.” I made a big deal about that in a few posts because of the fact I NEVER saw that particular element raised in any fics, and a couple months after I started including that bit regularly, I was seeing the words ‘without an extraction plan’ in every other new post Spyral fic. That’s not a coincidence.

There’s been stuff that included bits and phrasings from my post about Dick and Jason being partners who focused on helping kids who had been abused specifically....oh wait, no, my bad. The two fics I’m thinking of there lifted straight up entire lines from that post but just made it about Jason and TIM doing that instead, despite like.....the entire basis of that headcanon stemming from Dick’s juvie origin but whatever. There’s been stuff based on juvie posts of mine, stuff based on posts I’ve made about Mirage, there’s been stuff based on the post about Jason looking into why Dick was undercover as a mob enforcer and then Renegade, there’s been stuff clearly inspired by my headcanons about Jason calling Dick for advice after the Garzonas case. I could go on. There’s a fucking LOT.

I don’t try to give myself too much credit but I’m not unaware of being a loud voice in this fandom and that having an impact. And like I said, I’m not adverse to inspiring people to make their own stuff based off an idea they initially saw me present. That’s fine. People should feel free to do that. My problem is that none of this exists in a vacuum. It exists in a fandom where I regularly get people lecturing me on my presentation, people hyping up how negative I make fandom, my condescension, my anger, my hostility, etc, etc.

But the thing I never see is any awareness whatsoever that like....dudes, I’m literally just a guy on the internet. And that goes two ways. Yeah, I have an impact on people, but they have one on me too. And I’m tired and frustrated by it being acted like this is a one way street and everyone is just helpless victims of my bullying, while meanwhile SOME OF THE EXACT SAME PEOPLE GIVING ME CRAP FOR MY NEGATIVITY are ACTIVELY adding to their own fics with stuff that I JUST posted about.

And like, I see people vagueblogging about the negativity on their dashes and its impact on fandom right after I have a Dick Grayson rant blow up and get a few hundred notes......but its acted like I DID that to fandom, that’s my negativity and mine alone when its like....y’know, if you’re not following me yourself, and this stuff is still on your dash, you uh....have to be following people who reblog my negative posts for some reason or another. And given that there are obviously reasons you follow THOSE people, maybe instead of worrying about what I’M doing all the time, you can spare a thought or two for the fact that I don’t have any power to make people reblog anything, and for whatever reason, something about my oh so negative post resonated with those people reblogging it onto your dash, which also kinda suggests it wasn’t negative in THEIR eyes, but was actually a kind of validation of thoughts or feelings they already had?

Trust me, there’s no mind control ray at work here. This mood is also brought to you by the cricket sounds that come every time I fucking BEG people to reblog and signal boost posts I make about rape/abuse fandom trends and depictions from my POV as a survivor, specifically. Like I mentioned, I LOSE followers every time I bring that stuff up. It doesn’t benefit me in any way whatsoever, in fact my notes tend to go comparatively radio silent for a good couple weeks after I go off on one of those jaunts, because idk, people don’t want THEIR mutuals and followers to think they agree with some of my oh so controversial stances?

Actually, I say idk, but I do know is the thing, because people actually go on anon and tell me they appreciate me posting stuff like this, and its like.....that....doesn’t actually make me feel good? Because I never expect any single person in particular to reblog me, but when I say crickets after I post on those topics, I mean CRICKETS. I’m lucky if I can get five reblogs on those posts in total, and those are usually all from the same people. It actually kinda sucks knowing that people agree with me and what I have to say there, but they won’t put it on their own blogs because this fandom is so fucking STEEPED in its views, they don’t want to risk their friendships or back-and-forths with certain popular fandom authors by rocking the boat.

Because meanwhile I’m making myself target practice for the people who really would like me to shut up on certain topics but are too cowardly to ever confront me directly about why they dislike what I have to say there, in the vain hope that other people might finally even just START to pass some of that on even for consideration....because I can make waves by myself just by being loud and consistent, but I can’t do shit to actually make CHANGE without other people agreeing in PUBLIC so that fandom is forced to confront the fact that no, certain opinions aren’t just one loud asshole being annoying, there’s an actual viewpoint here that people actually have in greater numbers than we realized and we DON’T have as much of a monopoly on this topic as we thought.

I have anons who give me shit accusing me of driving off certain authors by making this fandom not fun for them anymore, when like, I never even fucking INTERACTED with the authors in question. Some of the names I’m accused of driving off I don’t even KNOW. I’m called an ‘abusive survivor shaming cunt’ with zero irony or self-awareness that they’re literally doing the exact same thing because they don’t like the stance *I* take as a survivor posting about how ‘some survivors use dark fic/rape fantasy to cope’ shouldn’t be treated as a monolithic defense of such things if it leads directly into the same kind of survivor shaming other people view criticism of such fic as being in the first place.

I’ve had to unfollow mutuals because I post about how reblogging posts about purity culture is a direct fucking slap into the face to people like me whose stances on fandom culture are directly based on our own personal experiences and the intersection those have with various popular fandom takes.....like you don’t have to agree with all my takes obviously, but if you can’t see how framing a naive pursuit of ideological purity as the only possible reason people object to certain fandom trends when I’m literally standing right here saying no actually, the way these fandom trends impact me is the reason for me saying the things I say when I say “here’s how this fandom trend impacts me”.....like.....c’mon.

And I’ve had mutuals unfollow me because despite following me because they liked my takes on social justice issues THEY care about, I just ‘post too much about what’s really just a personal issue’ and has no larger social relevance whatsoever, obviously. LOL. (Oh and this of course has nothing to do with them getting friendly with various popular authors on discord, who happen to be vocal about ‘disapproving’ of any fic criticism whatsoever. Just FYI, there’s a reason I haven’t followed anyone new or made any new mutuals in like....a year. I have my reasons for being....not quick about that).

I get condescended to constantly about not minding the tags, and then radio silence when I list literal examples of ways in which people haven’t tagged things correctly, tagged things at all, or literally used the tags in an attempt TO trigger people they just don’t like.

And meanwhile, allllllll of this keeps happening while the general narrative is I’m this loud asshole guy with zero concern about anything but his own personal likes or dislikes and who makes fandom a negative place that’s unwelcoming in general. And with basically zero mention of all the ways in which I’ve contributed to this fandom, the amount of content I’ve made that has DIRECTLY inspired people, and the productive conversations I’ve started which have resulted in people actually changing the way they approach various characters or dynamics in fics.

Its THAT part that bugs me, specifically.

Look, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again now.....I’m not anyone’s victim. Negative fandom interactions are negative fandom interactions. All this complaining I’m doing here - lol, that’s all it is. I’m venting. I’m pissed off and I think its relevant to a greater fandom dynamic or tendencies a lot of people unknowingly or consciously reinforce, and so I’m just fucking SAYING it because while its not something I EXPECT this post will do much to change, if at all, I would still like it to change so any effort towards that end is still better than no effort at all...hence, my posting this rather than bottling it up so at least people have it to consider.

If you don’t agree with it, if you don’t like that it exists at all, if it ruins your day to have to consider whether or not you or people you know or even like are active participants in what someone else is describing as y’know....fairly day-ruining in its own way? Hit that unfollow, that block, that make new text post button of your own and have your own rant about what a douchebag I am.

Literally all I’m trying to express is like.....fa*ndom’s got a lot to say about the stuff I have to say about fandom, but like....this is a two way interaction. A lot of people make a big deal about MY impact (again, JUST the negative though, lol) but I don’t ever see anyone ever addressing anyone else about hey maybe you could spare a thought or two about YOUR impact for a change as well.

I mean, what if....just maybe...what if.....a lot of my behavior or attitude has a lot to do with how people approach or talk about me BEFORE that display of attitude or certain behavior? Weirdly....I feel like maybe something that could then have a transformative effect on the kind of behavior or attitude people dislike from me....is.....them acknowledging or addressing things they might have done to prompt certain responses from me?

I don’t actually like being whiny or negative or down in general, just to be clear? If I see something I have a problem with or think could use change or improvement, I say so - but I pretty much always put an effort into expressing both WHY and HOW I think possible change could look - because I’m not generally interested in being negative for the sake of just being negative. I just....want things to be better. That’s not an obsession with purity or perfection, btw, I will NEVER understand how people think that survivors of rape and abuse (which include a lot more ‘antis’ than anyone else seems to want to acknowledge) and the like EVER expects perfection or thinks that the world will ever produce that - lol no I’m actually pretty clear that things being perfect is pointless, I’m just interested in BETTER.

But I mean, I like being goofy and silly and also analytical and contemplative and also creative and spontaneous. I like lots of things. I like lots of moods. I like producing, creating, generating, interacting, engaging, I like a million things more than I like THIS kind of mood, THIS kind of post.

But I’m just not someone who is content to sit and stew in that sort of thing when I know full well that the problem does not actually stem from something broken or flawed inside of me, because I’m also someone who does believe very strongly in periodic bouts of self-reflection and honest self-assessment.....so that I can change things about myself when and where I feel necessary. But this also has the effect of me also being VERY aware of when the problem is not internal, but actually just me having a perfectly valid reaction or emotional response to outside stimulus. Aka fandom’s interaction with me, every bit as much as my interaction with fandom.

So....posts like this. I’ll do my usual rituals, get myself back onto my preferred trains of thought soon enough on my own, because ultimately that is all I can control and just because I make posts like this doesn’t mean I ever EXPECT any specific result - or a result at all - to come from it.

But, y’know, sue me for being hopeful.

I know. What an ass am I?

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fartonexit · 3 years ago

Text

Well I'm back. Not reaving or anything, but been dealitg with shit.

Got hazed at the drag bar. Probably not meaning to ha e, but thats what it was. So I blew up at them on their fb page the next day and quit, basically. And I know one of them has access to my tumblr. I'm going to address them here just in case.

Kris, no one cares.

Anyways, I'd go in a lotg rant of all the wous and hardships of my daily life that hurt my job and wah wah but at the end of the day the only person that NEEDs to care about me is me.

My problem ot the bar was that I was still coming out and still dealing with really raw emotions based off of abuse I'm still experiencing. And actually now I've gotten an apology for stuff I didn't even know about, but has helped my life for the better.

And yeah I didn't say anything but motherfucker I owe you nothing stop making me feel like I have to tell you my life you fuckin bitch I don't want to get over it.

That was for kris at the end.

Been missing therapy appts, not on purpose. Bc of family or my partner, though now I think I've torn into everyone about how god damn important my appts are that if they intersect and for some reason my appt is their responsibility, tough shit.

The house is slowly becoming less of a hoarder hole. Slowly my mother is starting to accept me and kind of understand that transitioning isn't a little social patty cake game. Its me growing up because I got stunted emotionally, and it just so happens I already hated the vessel I'm in, it was just accentuated more and more for so long I probably am a bit fucked in the head now, but then really who isn't at that point.

But we're actually going to try to communicate. She walked up to me last night, honestly started to make me flip out because I'm expecting a certain subset of info, which also kinda showed her, hey, I'm defensive rn because I don't expect anythitg good fr stuff, and she's questioning that and I'm fucking glad.

I'm at a point transition wise where I've boiled more genders off too, now I'm just at 2. When I was a kid I experienced more like 10 or so, sometimes it feels like 40 or 50 though, but I think thats the DiD function of your brain at the time.

Side note child psychology and developmental psychology are mother fucking fascinating.

Then it boiled down to seven, then five, then last year it went from five to four, and as I've been able to socialize more, 2. Beth are nonbinary subsets that probably genderwise in a traditional sense ares't very describable, but I experience part of my life thru touch, so while it may not make sense to someone else, its literally just because describing things is dard for me.

In any case, at this point I'm putting money together to get my HRT. The meds are like 99% paid for, I just gotta get the copay. Better than paying 3k a few months a year! I'm gunna legally change my name, and depending on how burned I feel at the time, I kinda sorta decided I'd usurp my full name. But I won't explain why though, I don't owe that to anyone but me.

Only doing pesticide job rn, but honestly other than my income slowing down, things have gotten easier. I actually have time for my hobbies now. I can catually PLAY A ROUND OF TARKOV AND NOT GET IN TROUBLE FOR BEING LATE TO SOMETHING i DON'T WANNA DO. Its literally night and day that job.

Really I think the lesson is work at your own pace and fuck america. And I say that patriotically.

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nerdygaymormon · 5 years ago

Photo

I'm casually scrolling through Latter Gay Stories and there I am! That was a nice surprise

They took the story I shared with Let’s Love Better, added some of my pictures from Facebook, and shared on their page.

While I’m happy about this, it is emblematic of how once we share something online, it is out of our control. I just wish they’d let me know they were planning to put it up last week. I’ve had the same thing happen to me by LDS-owned websites where they put something of mine on LDSLiving and other sites without giving me any warning.

————————————————————

Hi, I’m David

Looking back, the signs of my orientation were there from the time I was a little boy. For example, I stared at the pictures on the packages of underwear at the store, or there would be boys who I really, really wanted to be friends with, things like that. It wasn’t until puberty when I would have erotic dreams that I figured out that I am sexually and romantically turned on by guys. I denied it for a while, thought I must be defective, perhaps it can change. By age 14 or 15 is when, with great reluctance, I accepted that this is a part of me.

At church it was taught that people are like this because they lack faith, so I tried to be the most faithful person, swatting away any questions or doubts, trying to be the best in class and activities. And every little, minor mistake was crushing because it was making me not good enough for God to fix. That was a stressful way to approach life.

I had a great deal of fear to come out. I continued to try to please God. I served a 2-year mission. I went to the Church schools. While in college is when I really came to terms with this is never changing.

I remained closeted for a long time, much longer than I wanted to. The longer I was in the closet, the harder it seemed to come out because it meant admitting that so much of my life, at least as I presented it, was a lie. Staying in the closet kept my world intact. Much of my family’s life revolves around church. Being a member of this church gives me a social network, a map of life goals, and an identity. Coming out meant I could lose all of it and I had no idea what life would be without those things.

Squashing all my romantic and sexual feelings also shuts down most other feelings. I spent my 20’s & 30’s feeling numb, like I was watching life but not a part of it. I finally reached the point where I was thought, “What’s the point of having a life if I wasn’t going to live?” As I was approaching my 40th birthday, I decided it’s time for a change. It was hard to share the secret I had spent my life guarding, and for a while I was very cautious and only came out one person at a time, no big announcement.

There are many things about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that I really like, things that resonate with me. I like that our God isn’t silent, that God answers prayers and is wants to reveal new things to us. That as individuals and as a church, we learn & progress, line upon line, always becoming better. I love the idea that the ultimate goal is for all people to be unified and linked to each other, that it matters how we treat each other because we need each other. Mormons are really good at building community and a sense of belonging. One thing that helps is the idea of all truth being circumscribed into one great whole, including scientific knowledge. Plus, this church taught me a language to understand spiritual things. I’ve learned a lot about being a better person, to serve and to be empathetic. It’s just that where church intersects with how I was made by our Creator, there is tension.

When I was 18 and the bishop spoke to me about going on a mission, I went home and prayed and asked if God could love me, love what I am. It’s really sad that a person can grow up in church and not even know that. I felt waves of love, warmth and goose bumps radiate across my body and a voice say “you are not broken.” That experience sustained me for many years.

Being gay complicates church for me. Questions that have simple answers for others are complex for me. There’s no way for me to complete the covenant path, I can’t achieve the goals that our religion says should be the purpose of my life.

In November 2015 I was serving as the Stake Young Men president when the Policy of Exclusion was leaked. I was so upset by it that I nearly walked away. Only an impression that God had a work for me to do if I was willing to stay kept me in the Church. In January 2016 my calling changed, and this is my 5th year being the stake executive secretary, which means I am in all the highest councils of my stake. This calling also means I get to meet all General Authorities who come here, I’ve interacted with 10 Seventies & apostles. I still get invited to participate in stake youth activities and have spoken to my stake’s youth about being LGBT. I had a blog post go viral and that led to hundreds of LGBTQ+ teens & twenty-somethings who contacted me to ask questions or who were hurting, and I’ve stayed up late into the night many a time trying to keep them safe. I’ve been invited to share my story on several pages and a few podcasts.

All of this is well beyond what I could have imagined in 2015 when I decided to stay. But this isn’t my work forever. I will again have to revisit the decision to stay or leave. Being in this church has caused serious mental health issues, including suicidal moments, that I’ve had to get help for. I want to love and be loved. I’m tired of going to church and then something is said which wounds, which even if the speaker wasn’t meaning to be unkind, those little surprises still sting. I want to be happy.

I have to figure out what a successful life looks like for me, what the purpose of my life is, how God wants me to partner with Him in the work He is doing in the world today.

I think back to how I felt when I prayed to know if God loves me and how that felt. I don’t think God views being gay as incompatible with the gospel. I’m certain the author of diversity has accounted for it in His Plan. I just wish this church could see it that way.

#latter gay stories

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anhed-nia · 4 years ago

Text

BLOGTOBER 10/17/2020: SPOOKIES

What do we watch, when we watch movies? This question was sparked by my SOV experience with the very different, and differently interesting BLOODY MUSCLE BODYBUILDER FROM HELL and HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY 5. Within the Shot On Video category, one can find inventive homemade features that are driven entirely by blood, sweat, and the creators' feeling of personal satisfaction. The results are sometimes fascinating, in their total alienation from the conventions and techniques of mainstream filmmaking, and after all, one rarely sees anything whose primary motivation is passion, here in the late stages of capitalism. But, all this talk about what goes on behind the camera points to a discrepancy in how we consume different kinds of production. The typical mode of consumption is internal to the movie: What happens in it? Do you relate to the characters? Are you able to suspend your disbelief, to experience the story on a vicarious level? One hardly needs to come up with examples of films that invite this style of viewing. Alternatively, we can experience the movie as a record of a time and place in which real people defied conventions and sometimes broke laws in order to produce a work of art. SOV production is usually viewed through this lens, where the primary interest is not the illusory content, but the filmmakers' sheer determination to create. We find some overlap in movies like EVIL DEAD, which simultaneously presents a terrifying narrative, and evidence of what a truly driven team can create without the aid of a studio, or any real money to speak of. See also, Larry Cohen's New York City-based horror films, in which a compelling drama with great acting can exist side by side with phony but beautiful effects, and exciting stories of stolen footage that would be dangerous or impossible to attempt today. I'm thinking about these different modes of consumption now because I just watched SPOOKIES, a legitimately cursed-seeming film whose harrowing production history has superseded whatever people think about what it shows on the screen. The lovingly composed blu-ray from Vinegar Syndrome includes a feature-length documentary that attempts to explain the making of the film--which is accompanied by its own feature length commentary track by documentarists Michael Gingold and Glen Baisley. The very existence of this artifact suggests a lot about the nature of this movie, in and of itself. The truth behind its existence is as funny as it is tragic.

I'm not going to do a whole breakdown of the tortured origins of SPOOKIES, which is much better told by the aforementioned documentary. To summarize: Once upon a time in the mid 1980s, filmmakers Brendan Faulkner, Thomas Doran and Frank Farel conspired to make a fun, flamboyant rubber monsterpiece called TWISTED SOULS. It was wild, ridiculous, and transparently fake-looking, but it was loved by its hard-working creators; as a viewer, that soulful sense of joy can rescue many a "bad" movie from its various foibles. Then, inevitably, sleazoid producer Michael Lee stepped in--a man who thought you could cut random frames out of the middle of scenes to improve a movie's pace--and ruined it with extreme prejudice. Carefully crafted special effects sequences were cut, relatively functional scenes were re-edited into oblivion, and the seeds of hatred were sown between the filmmakers and the producer. Ultimately, everyone who once cared for TWISTED SOULS was forced to abandon ship, and first time director Eugenie Joseph stepped in to help mutilate the picture beyond all recognition. Thus SPOOKIES was born, a mangled, unloved mutation that would curse many of its original parents to unemployability. For the audience, it is intriguingly insane, often insulting, and hard to tear your eyes off of--but in spite of whatever actually wound up on the screen, it's impossible to forget its horrifying origin story as it unspools.

As far as what's on the screen goes: A group of "friends", including a middle-aged businessman and his wife, a vinyl-clad punk rock bully and his moll, two new wave-y in-betweeners, and...a guy with a hand puppet are somehow all leaving the same party, and all ready to break into a vacant funeral home for their afterparty. Well, this happens after a 13 year old runaway inexplicably wanders in to a "birthday party" in there, that looks like it was thrown for him by Pennywise, and he has the nerve to act surprised when he is attacked by a severed head and a piratey-looking cat-man who straight up purrs and meows throughout the picture. Anyway, separately of that, which is unrelated to anything, the island of misfit friends finds a nearly unrecognizable "ouija board" in the old dark house. Actually this thing is kind of fun-looking, having been made by one of the fun-havers on the production before the day that fun died, and I wonder if anyone has considered trying to make a real board game out of it...but I digress. Naturally, the board unleashes evil forces, including a zombie uprising in the cemetery outside, a plague of Ghoulie-like ankle-biters, an evil asian spider-lady (accompanied by kyoto flutes), muck-men that fart prodigiously until they melt in a puddle of wine (?), and uh...I know I'm forgetting stuff. One of the reasons I'm forgetting is because of this whole side story about a tuxedo-wearing vampire in the basement (or somewhere?) who has entrapped a beautiful young bride by cursing her with immortality. That part is a little confusing, not only because it doesn't intersect with the rest of the movie, but because sometimes it seems contemporary--as the bride struggles to survive the zombie plague--and sometimes it seems like a flashback, as our heroes find what looks like the mummified corpse of the dracula guy, complete with his signet ring. So, I don't know what to tell you really. Those are just some of the things that happen in the movie.

Some people like this a lot, and have supported its ascendance to cult status, which is a huge relief when you know what everyone went through to make this movie, only to have it ripped away from them and used against them. I found SPOOKIES a little hard to take, for all the reasons that the cast and crew express in the documentary. It holds a certain amount of visual fascination, whatever you think of it; something of its original creativity remains evident in the movie's colorful, exaggerated look, and its steady parade of unconvincing but inventive creature effects. But then, you have to deal with the farting muck-men. What was once a scene of terror starring REGULAR muck-men, that sounded incredibly laborious to pull off, became a scene of confusing "comedy" when producer Michael Lee insisted that the creatures be accompanied by a barrage of scatalogical noises. Apparently this was Lee's dream come true, as a guy who insisted everyone pull his finger all the time, and who once tried to call the movie "BOWEL ERUPTOR". But, of all the deformations SPOOKIES endured, the fart sounds dealt a mortal injury to the filmmakers' feelings, and even without knowing that, it's hard to enjoy yourself while that's happening.

Actually, all the farts forced me to ask myself: Is this...a comedy? Like for real, as its main thing? As the movie slogged on, I had to decide that it wasn't, but I was distracted by the notion for around 40 minutes. I was only released from this nagging suspicion when the bride makes her long marathon run through throngs of slavering zombies who swarm her, grope her, and tear off her clothes, before she narrowly escapes to an even worse fate. The lengthy scene is strangely gripping, and sleazy for a movie that sometimes feels like low rent children's entertainment. Part of the sequence’s success lies in its simplicity; it is unburdened by the convoluted complications of the rest of the movie, whose esoteric parts never fall together, so it seems to take on a sustained, intensifying focus. The action itself is unnerving, as the delicate and frankly gorgeous Maria Pechuka is molested and stripped nearly-bare by her undead bachelors, running from one drooling mob to another as the horde nearly engulfs her time and again. Actually, it feels a lot like a certain genre of SOV production in which, for the right price, any old creepy nerd can pay a small crew-for-hire to tape a version of his private fantasy, whether it's women being consumed by slime, or women being consumed by quicksand, or...generally, women being consumed by something. I wish I could describe this form of production in more specific or official terms, because I genuinely think it's wonderful that people do this. Anyway, Pechuka's interminable zombie run feels a little like that, and a little like a grim italian gutmuncher, and a little like an actual nightmare. Perhaps it only stands out against its dubious surroundings, but I kind of love it--and I'm happy to love it, because apparently the late Ms. Pechuka truly loved making SPOOKIES, and wanted other people to love it, too.

Which brings me to the uncomfortable place where I land with this movie. On the one hand...I think it's bad. It's so incoherent, and so insists on its impoverished form of comedy, that it's hard to be as charmed by it as I am by plenty of FX-heavy, no-budget oddities. Perhaps the lingering odor of misery drowns out the sweet joy that the crew once felt in the early days of creation--which is still evident, somehow, in its zany special effects, created by the likes of Gabe Bartalos and other folks whose work you definitely already know and love. But I feel ambivalent, about all of this. On the one hand, I can be a snob, and shit on people for failing to make a movie that meets conventional standards of success. On the other hand, I can be a DIFFERENT kind of snob--a more voyeuristic or even sadistic one--and celebrate the painful failures that produced a movie that is most interesting for its tormented history and its amusing ineptitude. I'm not really sure where I would prefer to settle with SPOOKIES, and movies like it. (As if anything is really "like" SPOOKIES) With all that said, I was left with one soothing thought by castmember Anthony Valbiro in the documentary. At some point, he tells us how ROSEMARY'S BABY is his personal cinematic comfort food; he can put it on at night, after an exhausting day, and drift to sleep, enveloped in its warm, glowing aura. He then says that he hopes there are people out there for whom his movie serves that same purpose, that some of us can have our "milk and cookies moment" with SPOOKIES. Honestly, I choke up just thinking about that.

#blogtober #2020 #spookies #horror #supernatural #vampire #zombie #creature feature #old dark house #cursed film #thomas doran #frank farel #eugenie joseph #michael lee #vipco #twisted souls #brendan faulkner #maria pechuka

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writingwithcolor · 4 years ago

Note

One of my main characters of my NaNo project is a Korean-Japanese girl who has been in the modeling industry ever since she was a child. A large part of what informs her character is her coming to terms with her being nonbinary and how that conflicts with the beauty standards she feels bound to. While I am also nonbinary, I want to make sure that her relationship with those beauty standards doesn't just seem like I'm attacking a whole culture.

Nonbinary Korean Japanese model and beauty standards

Assuming you’re not Japanese-Korean: Feels like it should be an Ownvoices thing to me. If the plot/character arc weren’t so tied to her cultural relationship with gender & beauty, and it’s just her kicking ass in the modeling world, then I’d say yes, write that nonbinary Korean-Japanese character! Awesome rep! However, because you make the cultural conflict the focus of her character arc, I feel as though this is a topic that needs to be explored by nonbinary East Asian authors, not you.

No one except a nonbinary East Asian person experiences the nuanced unpacking of their country’s gender norms with their identity; no one except a Korean-Japanese person knows what the specific intersections of Korean and Japanese culture (which both deal with gender differently!) are like. Check out the Can I Write About X tag and read WWC: Why Insiders Can Write Their Experience on why insiders can—and are best equipped to—write their own story.

If you’re willing to pull away from the conflict narrative and make the story a bit more positive rep, Marika has some advice for research/realism.

~Mod Rina

I don’t necessarily know if I would put this in the OwnStories category, but it just sounds like a bummer story. The modeling world is very well known for fatphobia exploitation, fetishization, colorism and racism. I remember reading memoirs like “Everything About Me is Fake, and I’m Perfect” and “The Beauty and the Biz” and thinking “Wow, sounds like a crappy job.” Your character would have to be able to compartmentalize very well to deal with constantly being scrutinized and having little control over their appearance. There’s enough articles out there on the abuses of the model/ idol industries in Korea and Japan (And how both feed into each other), so there’s no shortage of material for you to read.

With regards to your character’s Japanese side, I think the bigger problem will be figuring out how to cope with the strict gender binary that covers so much of Japanese life:

How to speak

Physical appearance

Hair length

Uniforms

The color of clothes

How one is supposed to carry themselves

Both because Japan doesn’t have many legal protections for LGBTQIA+ individuals and because resisting social norms is frowned upon, I suspect your character would find the virtual world of social media to be an easier space to inhabit as they explore aspects of their identity that can be more easily discussed anonymously. I don’t think it’s easier to be trans than nb in Japan, but I think people “get it” more if a person visibly presents as or transitions to the most gendered version of their identity, while nb (aka “X-gender”) people are often asked “But you’re really [insert gender], right?”

The irony is androgyny is highly idealized in Japanese culture and the Japanese beauty industry. Our current beauty standards center more around certain body types and facial features rather than whether the person looks male or female. However, what we might put on a billboard and what is expected from a person from Japanese society are very different things.

- Marika.

#daphneblakess #beauty standards #Japanese #Korean #Korean Japanese #nonbinary #ownvoices #can i write about x #lgbtqia #culture #asks

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 5 years ago

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Disability and Loren

@zarohk asked for my thoughts on a Disability Studies/Media Studies perspective on the disability depictions in Animorphs. Which was foolish, because I’m teaching an entire dang class on the subject of superheroes and mental health, so I have Many Thoughts. [PLEASE NOTE: I am nondisabled, so if I err, please tell me so.]

Loren’s role in #49: The Diversion does a lot of things right, and a lot of things wrong. She incurs a traumatic brain injury that results in memory loss and blindness a couple of years after Tobias is born, and lives with said injury for about ten years before Tobias finds her and gives her the ability to morph, which restores her sight but not her memory.

A few places where I commend the depiction of Loren:

It gets into the massive underemployment of disabled Americans. Loren is smart, canny, athletic, compassionate... and working a call center job in exchange for state benefits. Said state benefits do not afford her a decent standard of living; Tobias notes that she has few possessions and almost no time for leisure activities. Americans with disabilities are twice as likely to be unemployed as those without, and those who do have jobs are ten times more likely to be paid less than minimum wage, e.g. in sheltered workshops.

It shows how inaccessible a lot of systems are in the U.S. Tobias notes that Loren accidentally grabs an expired quart of milk — because nothing on the label is printed in Braille. Putting raised text and/or Braille on food packaging is a health and safety issue, one that the U.S. ignores even though it violates its own laws (e.g. the ADA) because companies tend to do what they want and “what they want” is usually not to spend more money on packaging. The call center and bus system are both marginally more accessible, especially when Loren has Champ to help, but they’re still clearly spaces set up for sighted people that don’t take blind users into account very well.

It shows some of the workarounds that help deal with accessibility problems. Loren’s house is set up so that there are clear paths to and from all of the relevant spaces. She’s doing that to allow herself to move around comfortably in that space, because she’s made it accessible for herself. She memorizes the layout of the local store, and uses that to get around as well. All of those details help show that she’s adjusted, and actively interacting with her own circumstances.

It drives home the difference between service dogs and pets. This distinction is extremely important, and it gets ignored all the time by entitled ableists who want to bring their pets into stores. Tobias and Marco both assume from the outside that it can’t be that hard to become a service animal — just do what Loren says to do, right? — but it takes Tobias 0.02 seconds to realize that it’s not that simple and that he cannot imitate Champ’s lifetime of training on the fly. He says that he manages to get his mom home in one piece, and that that’s about all that can be said for his sad performance as a guide. Champ has skills like ignoring interesting smells and applying exactly the right amount of pressure to the harness that most pets don’t have and also most pets can’t learn. Champ is not a pet, at least not while he’s in that harness; he’s a gainfully employed expert assistant.

It rounds Loren out as a character, and definitely does not just make her into a lesson or problem for Tobias. Loren is gently humorous, tolerating her coworkers’ teasing and Ax’s attempted juvenile delinquency with an eye-roll. She’s compassionate, listening to other people’s problems on the phone with genuine concern and not swatting flies if she doesn’t have to. She’s tough-minded and stupidly brave, chucking rocks at Visser Three’s head and flying at attack helicopters as a three-pound bird. She’s fallible, unable to support Tobias emotionally even when he asks her to do so and unwilling to check in on him after leaving him with her sister. She’s a fully rounded person, one whose personality is informed but not defined by her disability.

It talks about some of the unromatic aspects of a Traumatic Brain Injury. Too often in other works of fiction, we see a person get bonked over the head and wake up with no episodic memory but all other brain functions intact (*cough* Rachel in MM1 *cough*). Loren actually gets into the fact that she forgot huge chunks of language, forgot how to brush her teeth, forgot how to walk across a room. She obviously lost her sight as well, and she mentions lifelong balance and coordination problems. Even her amnesia isn’t absolute — she has some traces of recall, but can’t make anything coherent of her impressions. Her injury isn’t 100% realistic, but it’s more so than many TBIs we see in fiction.

It focuses on the intersection of disability and social class. Tobias notes that Loren is under a compounded threat because of her inability to move to a more secure neighborhood and her obvious vulnerability. He feels a lot of disgust with himself when he and Marco and Ax are harassing Loren, because it’s so clear that this isn’t the first time she’s been harassed. Tobias understands that his experience with poverty as a nondisabled male minor is different from Loren’s for those reasons.

A few places where Loren falls into the common traps of implied ableism creeping into fiction, as written about in Narrative Prosthesis:

She gets “cured.” Loren falls into the “kill or cure” dichotomy, like most of the other disabled characters in Animorphs. In her case, it’s that she gains the power to morph and in the process regains the ability to see. It isn’t a complete cure, true — she still has no memory — but it means that she’s no longer blind for the rest of the series. Having the occasional character no longer be disabled sometimes isn’t automatically problematic; having every disabled character get either “fixed” or killed off inherently treats the disabled body as a problem that needs to be solved, through sci fi nonsense if no other way is available.

She implies that she’d rather die than continue to be disabled. When injured by dracon burns, Loren initially refuses to morph out even though Tobias tells her she’ll die if she remains a bird, because (they both assume) to morph out is to return to her blind human body. This moment buys into the stereotype that it’s better to be dead than disabled, again inherently devaluing the lives of actual blind individuals.

There’s a certain amount of mystery around how she became disabled. It’s interesting that we never actually get a definitive answer on that one — Loren says she was told it was a car crash, but there’s also an implication that she was attacked by controllers, and we don’t know for sure. However, the fact of her disability is treated as an aberrant state that needs to be explained, the book inherently asking “why are you like this?” By contrast (for instance) she doesn’t ask Tobias “why are you in the body of a hawk?”

She views herself as a burden, and the narration doesn’t do enough to contradict her. Loren says that she couldn’t possibly be expected to raise a child while also blind and coping with a TBI. Real blind people raise kids all the time, however, including blind single parents, and it’d be nice to see some evidence in the story that Loren’s assumption is wrong. Loren also apparently assumes that she can’t begin to play a role in Tobias’s life even now that Tobias is more self-sufficient, again because she views herself as relatively helpless and non-contributing due to her disability. There are some hints that she’s wrong, but we don’t really see her either begin to contribute to the resistance or build a relationship with Tobias until after she’s become un-blind.

Tobias’s view of Loren is often pitying. As much as Loren doesn’t initially view herself as a potential maternal figure to Tobias, he doesn’t view her as a potential mentor either. He repeatedly expresses horror or sadness at her life circumstances, and assumes that her life must be barren due to the spartan nature of her home. (Of course, that begs the question of why the hell a blind woman living alone would ever bother hanging pictures on her walls or putting doilies on her coffee tables, but Tobias doesn’t consider that angle.) Again, Tobias is allowed to assume that her life must be meaningless if she’s disabled, but it’d be nice to see some contradictory evidence in the form of her having close friends or inane hobbies or some other proof that to lead a disabled life is not to automatically lead a lonely one.

Loren expresses bitterness and desperate desire to be nondisabled. Again, it’s fine for any character to say “I wish my life was different,” and it’s a common consensus among blind writers/bloggers that being blind is often a pain in the butt. However, views as extreme as “you need vision to have a fulfilling existence” or “vision is part of what makes us human” are ableist crocks of shit. Loren doesn’t go so far as to espouse those extreme views, but she also doesn’t seem to view herself as having a well-rounded life in spite of her disability. It’d be nice to see Loren talking about sight as handy or enjoyable or a thing that the designers of 99% U.S. environments assume everyone must have, rather than a necessary precondition for a minimum standard of life.

Loren’s disability is somewhat medicalized. Same caveat as above: disabilities are by definition medical things that some bodies do or have that other bodies do not. However, discussing disability primarily through “this is how your body is different from Implied Normal of Nondisabled Body” and focusing on doctor’s notes, diagnoses, physical differences, etc. can serve to disconnect the lived experience of the individual from their body. It also tends to focus on the ways that the body is “the problem” rather than focusing on the ways that environments and attitudes are problematic, which then prevents anyone from asking hard questions about the environments and attitudes. Loren’s doctor’s note, discussion of scarring and loss, and repeated physical descriptions are somewhat more medical than social. It’d be nice to see a little more emphasis on the social factors that make blindness a disability (e.g. improperly labeled milk), and less on “your eyes are different from those of Implied Normal Nondisabled Person.”

#animorphs #animorphs meta #long post #loren fangor #ableism #disability studies #disability representation #accessibility #social model of disability #animorphs criticism #blindness representation #49 #the diversion

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niteshade925 · 3 years ago

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The Thunder Concluding Thoughts

So I finished watching The Thunder (《破冰行动》) in about a week. I have to say this drama is definitely NOT the disappointment that people say it is. It's pretty good. I’m recommending it to the cdrama fans out there who like crime dramas with a dark and serious story. Just be aware that it does not have an official English subtitle or fansubs (so far as I know).

Anyway, this post will be very very very long (4500+ words, in fact), filled with spoilers and my opinions. If you are planning on watching, please skip this post. I’m hiding everything else so this post won’t be hogging space on anyone’s dashboard.

Storytelling

Considering the story is about an operation to raid a whole village involved in drug trafficking (inspired by real events of Boshe village/博社村) and bring the criminals to justice, it is bound to be dark and gritty, filled with tragedies. But it’s also surprisingly not very gruesome.

The entire plot is separated into many different storylines, which merge and intersect with each other at different times throughout the drama. Here’s the main four:

The first (main) one follows the main character Li Fei/李飞 as he tries to avenge his friend and partner’s murder by finding evidence to bring down the big bad, with help from Chen Ke/陈珂, Ma Wen/马雯, and numerous others.

The second one follows Li Weimin/李维民 and Zhao Jialiang/赵嘉良 (real name Li Jianzhong/李建中), who are the two most experienced people on the law enforcement side in dealing with drug traffickers. Since the former is a director and the latter is an informant/undercover agent who reports directly to the former, their individual story lines only merged after the midpoint.

The third one follows the third branch of the Lin clan (mostly Lin Zonghui/林宗辉) and how it was half destroyed by the main branch and second branch, which culminates in Lin Zonghui’s decision to turn informant.

The fourth one follows Ma Yunbo/马云波, the Deputy Director of Dongshan City Police Department, as he slowly realizes the error of his ways and tries to earn his redemption.

There are other more minor storylines, but I won’t be listing them all out since this isn’t a wiki article lol. Anyway there are a lot of different storylines in this drama, and the ways in which they intersect are interesting, though rather predictable. These intersections also roughly separate out the drama into a few sections, which allows the drama to have a good pacing overall.

However, the way this drama establishes the backgrounds of the characters and storylines is slightly problematic, since nearly all of it is done with flashback sequences. Flashback sequences are a staple in crime dramas of any kind, because it satisfies the viewers’ curiosity, but the constant sudden scene changes were disorienting and broke the flow of storytelling. I guess flashbacks are an easy way to stick to the “show, don’t tell” rule, but I do think some flashback sequences can be told by characters in the “present time”, and this may even help to flesh out those characters more, depending on how they “tell” viewers about the past.

Another thing that was noticeable was amount of closeup shots used, especially in the interrogation scenes in the first half. They do give actors the opportunity to use micro expressions and their eyes to convey the characters’ true emotions. On the downside.....too many closeup shots tend to make me uncomfortable, so......I guess I both liked it and disliked it.

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Characters and Acting

Hoooo boy, where to start. I would say this is the best thing about the drama overall. The characters are what really drove me to sacrifice sleep just to binge the entire thing in a week. These characters aren’t exactly unique in the genre, but they made up the heart of the drama, no questions about that.

I guess I’ll start with the main cast here and ramble talk about both the character and the portrayal together. Because this drama had a rough “cops vs. criminals” setup, the main cast was sort of “locked in” to specific character archetypes, and that left little space for the actors themselves to perform freely. Despite this, most of the main cast were able to do pretty well:

Li Weimin/李维民 (portrayed by Wu Gang/吴刚):

In my opinion, Li Weimin was the best portrayed character out of the main cast. Some people said that Wu Gang overacted in certain scenes where Li Weimin got upset or displayed his eccentric side, but to be honest, I don’t think it’s bad at all. I'm pretty sure the dramatic approach is due to Wu Gang's acting style and training, since he was a theater actor first, and transitioned to an actor for TV/cinema later in his career. Wu Gang’s constant little physical movements-- whether it was fidgeting with something or playing hopscotch with his feet--gave Li Weimin a certain air of eccentricity that I liked. Li Weimin wasn’t without his faults, of course, he’s rather quick-tempered and was too eager to see results, which Wu Gang illustrated with his dramatic line delivery in the scene where he was furious at Ma Yunbo for not ending all drug trafficking in Dongshan city in 3 years. The most noticeable flaws in Wu Gang’s performance (to me) was his salute (seriously can he just straighten that wrist lol) and his voice, because his voice had that smooth quality of a documentary narration, so occasionally it felt like he’s just flat out describing things. Not that I’m complaining, his voice is very pleasing to the ear, but it just doesn’t fit the scene sometimes. His best scenes for me were: 1) when he stubbornly refused Li Fei’s offer to buy a hoodie for him because it made him look too young (can relate because I have an older relative who’s exactly like that lol); 2) when he was questioning Cai Yongqiang while nonchalantly playing with his shoelaces; 3) when he had a sorrowful inner monologue about how he would be all alone if both Li Fei and Li Jianzhong died like all of his other comrades; and 4) when he suffered the loss of his friend during the climax, and had to try hard to stop himself from losing control to grief before the operation was over, because he was the frontline commander and was thus responsible for all of the agents.

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Lin Yaodong/林耀东 (portrayed by Wang Jinsong/王劲松):

Wang Jinsong never disappointed in any role he’s been in, really. He’s the actor who played Marquis Yan Que in Nirvana in Fire and the unforgettable eunuch Yang Jinshui in Ming Dynasty in 1566. I don’t think Lin Yaodong was his best performance (the best had to be Yang Jinshui in Ming Dynasty in 1566, hands down) but it was still very good. The way Wang Jinsong played Lin Yaodong (especially the even line delivery and the deliberate body movements) gave him a dignified air befitting a powerful elder. It was also thanks to Wang Jinsong’s great performance that I realized what Lin Yaodong was: he wasn’t just a drug lord, he was a hypocrite. He kept stressing the importance of clan and family, yet he was the one of the people responsible for deaths of half the third branch family; he kept reiterating that he brought wealth to Tazhai village, but what he did was slowly eroding the villagers’ motivation to do any honest work; he kept emphasizing the need to protect the Lin clan, yet the drug trafficking he introduced to the village literally ruined the young people of the village. To Lin Yaodong, the clan was nothing but a means to an end that benefits him, otherwise he would not be exclusively using members of the second branch family to do all the dirty work.

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Li Fei/李飞 (portrayed by Huang Jingyu/黄景瑜):

Li Fei is apparently quite controversial despite being the undisputed main character of the show. A lot of people think his character was “unnecessary”, “badly written”, and there were even gossip floating around about how the character was just a way to “get Huang Jingyu onboard”. Seeing all of those comments made me pretty confused, because I thought Huang Jingyu did a pretty good job for someone who didn’t have a lot of experience in acting. Before anyone says though, I am not a Huang Jingyu fan, just want to get that out of the way first. This is literally the first drama I’ve seen him in. I think his portrayal was easier for younger audiences (by that I mean early to mid 20s viewers like me) to relate to. Li Fei’s outpour of grief upon seeing his partner getting murdered right in front of him, his clever interrogation of drug dealers, his goofy little tricks that outsmarted the criminals, his dejected disregard for his own life when he expressed desire to go to Tazhai village alone; his shock and anguished headbanging on the car window upon seeing his father getting murdered (also right in front of him); and finally his emotional numbness while saying goodbye to the father he never got a chance to know.......all of it was done convincingly. I’ve laughed with him, I’ve cried (a little) with him, and for me that’s good enough. There were other comments about how Li Fei was too hot-headed to the extent of being frustrating, but I think that’s just how the character was meant to be (Li Fei was supposed to be in his early 20s). That said, I do think Huang Jingyu needs work on two things: enunciation and facial expressions. He did well when a scene required him to convey a particular emotion, but he wasn’t able to convey a mixture of different emotions (I will give an example later). If he could make improvements in these two areas, I’m sure he would become a much better actor.

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Now for memorable supporting characters. In my honest opinion, the supporting characters are the ones who really made this drama good. These actors’ performances regularly steal the limelight away from the main cast.

Lin Shuibo/林水伯 (portrayed by Qian Bo/钱波):

Lin Shuibo was a once-respected teacher who became addicted in a desperate attempt to save his addict son, and was thrown out of Tazhai village for being an addict after his son died from overdose (was revealed to be murder). Later he devoted his life to take care of a homeless drug addict teen he met on the streets. I have to say, Lin Shuibo was the first supporting character that really caught my attention and made me cry. Qian Bo nailed this character. The dejected slump of his shoulders, the hopelessness and anxiety in his darting eyes, weeping for his son with tears leaving tracks on his dirty face, explaining that he tried drugs so he could set an example of successful rehab for his son......this character may not be more than just a plot device, but he actually tore at my heart. Teaching was a highly respected profession in China, so for a teacher to fall into addiction and homelessness, resort to picking garbage for a living, that’s literally falling out of paradise and straight into hell. Despite this, Lin Shuibo never lost his kindness or capability to love, and that's what saved him in the end.

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Ma Yunbo/马云波 (portrayed by Zhang Xilin/张晞临):

Originally I was going to put Lin Shengwu as the second of the memorable supporting characters, but then Ma Yunbo’s best scenes happened and made me change my mind. Ma Yunbo was a pretty interesting and complex character, since he started the drama as a “good guy”, but as the story went on, it was revealed that he was the corrupted cop. Then as the viewer learned more about the character, we started to see that he was not simply in it for the money like Chen Guangrong (another corrupted cop). He was more or less coerced into it by Lin Yaodong because of his wife’s debilitating chronic pain, which was in turn the consequence of taking a shotgun blast meant for him. Before the start of the story, the pain had grown too much for his wife to bear, so she turned to heroin for relief, and Lin Yaodong took the opportunity to become her supplier. This was a major problem for Ma Yunbo, since he was seen as a hero who served justice to drug traffickers and was the pride of his shifu Li Weimin. Here, both the drama and many viewers say that Ma Yunbo’s greatest weakness was pride, and that was why he became corrupted, but I disagree. I don’t think Ma Yunbo’s most important trait was pride, I think it was love. I think he loved his wife deeply and that was the only reason why he started dealing with Lin Yaodong. If he was as prideful as people say, I think he might refuse his wife's request instead. In fact, his wife's suicide was what finally unshackled him from his constant internal conflict. Thus, his internal conflict was really a three way conflict of pride vs. love vs. doing what’s right. Zhang Xilin’s approach to such a complex character was subtle, conveying most of the internal conflict with facial expressions. The way he could seem to make his face age instantly with an expression was brilliant.

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Lin Shengwu/林胜武 (portrayed by Zhao Xuan/赵煊):

First, this character was pretty much a plot device. Lin Shengwu really only served 3 purposes in the story: to delay the video evidence from getting to Li Fei until the time is right (to manage pacing); to cement the people from the main branch and second branch of the Lin clan as the big bads of the drama; and to serve as a reason for Lin Zonghui’s eventual decision to become an informant. The first one is pretty straightforward, but the second and third purposes require acting skills to achieve, because the audience needs to be able to pity Lin Shengwu. And boy did Zhao Xuan deliver. Lin Shengwu’s death was the second time I got emotional while watching this drama (first time was that scene of Lin Shuibo I mentioned). The scene where a wounded Lin Shengwu called asking Lin Zonghui to take care of his children and telling him “if there’s a next life, you will still be my Uncle Hui” with a quivering voice just straight up broke my heart. Lin Shengwu was certainly not a good guy (he was the one who destroyed the evidence at the very beginning, and probably participated in drug dealing), but he really did love his family and tried to protect them, unlike Lin Yaodong. Unfortunately, his family was already in the grips of the devil from the very start, so he was destined to lose everything.

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Lin Zonghui/林宗辉 (portrayed by Gong Lei/公磊)

Of the two most conflicted characters in the drama, one is Ma Yunbo, and the other is definitely Lin Zonghui. As the family head of the third branch in the Lin clan, he was forced to watch as members of his family died at the hands of his relatives, but because he tried to stay out of trouble, he could neither say nor do anything about it. Plus, like most other members of the third branch family, he was a person who actually cared about the clan. As time went on and more people close to him died, his internal conflict changed from self preservation vs. avenging his family to protecting the Lin clan vs. doing what’s right. I don’t feel that his death at the end was really necessary to the plot (it was probably done to further expose Lin Yaodong’s hypocrisy), but given everything his cousins Lin Yaodong and Lin Yaohua have done, he’s more than justified to confront them. Acting-wise, like Zhang Xilin, Gong Lei also conveyed Lin Zonghui’s internal conflict mostly with facial expressions and body movements. There was always a slump in his shoulders, and the way his eyes alternate between looking powerless and burning with fury was really great. However, I didn’t quite like his approach to the climactic confrontation scenes, because I felt that he was a little overdramatic there, especially the line delivery, which briefly broke my immersion.

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Lin Can/林灿 (portrayed by Song Hanhuan/宋撼寰)

If I’m only talking about the acting, then I might rank Song Hanhuan’s performance as the second best in the supporting cast, right behind Zhang Xilin. I do admit that I’m rather biased towards the good guys and complex characters, but no matter which way you cut it, Lin Can deserves a mention. The first time I noticed him was very late in the story, right at the climax where Lin Can and Li Fei were both threatening to kill the other’s father. Huang Jingyu was not able to convey Li Fei’s emotions well enough (again, his facial expression needs work), but in contrast, Song Hanhuan really conveyed a wide range of emotions just in a few seconds, from fear to desperation to even a little hint of regret. In fact, he looked as if he was on the verge of total mental breakdown. That scene prompted me to go back and revisit his other scenes after I finished the drama, and that was when I realized Lin Can actually cried a little bit when Lin Shengwu died. At the time when I first saw the scene, I thought Lin Can was just shocked to see Lin Shengwu commit suicide, but now, thinking back on Lin Can’s lines about how he and Lin Shengwu grew up together as playmates, I think Lin Can actually felt sad there, however briefly that emotion lasted. That single tear was a very simple (and easy to miss!) gesture that added a whole other dimension to what would otherwise be a rather flat henchman character.

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Cai Yongqiang/蔡永强 (portrayed by Tang Xu/唐旭)

I do wish the writers could have given Cai Yongqiang more scenes, because the few scenes he appeared in were all great. The scenes where Li Weimin questioned Cai Yongqiang were the among the best in the entire drama. At the time in the story, Cai Yongqiang and Li Weimin didn’t trust each other (although it was later revealed that they were both good guys), and were both trying to see if the other person was corrupted. This led to a few interesting exchanges between them filled with quotable lines, but the best part has to be Cai Yongqiang’s answer to Li Weimin’s last question about Cai Yongqiang’s evaluation of himself and the drug control division. The way Tang Xu delivered these lines (his voice was quivering with emotion almost the whole time) was really touching:

“For drug control officers like us, there’s two dangers. The first is mortal danger, because our opponents are people who would bid their lives for money. It’s not just our own lives in danger, but also the lives of our partners, our families”......”The second is temptation. Money making is easy for drug traffickers. To save their own skins, they would try their damnedest to bribe us. Tens of thousands (yuan), hundreds of thousands, even a few million at a time. For them, a few million is the profit they earn in a few days, but for young officers who earn a measly 2-3k per month and has to pay mortgages and raise children with it, this contrast is too much. Not being tempted is impossible. But every officer in my division has overcame the temptation, and for that, I think they are all terrific. All of them are admirable.”.....”When you’ve been on the force for a while, you start to develop a deeper understanding of human nature. A lot of bizarre things happen every day. Sometimes, not being able to see them is a real blessing.”

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Thoughts on Theme

The message of a story like this is obviously “drugs are bad, kids, it ain’t worth it”, but I would say the theme is conveyed pretty well here, because the story gives us all of these characters who are examples (some of which I’m sure are inspired by experiences of real people) of what may happen once you start to do/sell/make such addictive controlled/prohibited substances as crystal meth.

First is the effects of addiction on users. This part is pretty obvious, and we have many examples throughout, though there were a few different reasons for each of them coming into contact with the drug in the first place. Zaizai (Lin Shuibo’s son) was a representation of teenagers who became addicted because it’s seen as “cool” and “everyone was doing it”. Wuzai became a drug dealer, because it gave him better profits than working entry-level jobs, and eventually he became an addict as well. Then there’s women who became addicted due to severe emotional stress, like Yang Liu and Cai Xiaoling (it was hinted that her addiction may have been a major factor in her miscarriage). Of these people, Lin Shuibo was a special case, as he apparently tried drugs out of a desire to help his son quit, but became addicted as well. Out of these characters, most died either due to overdose, continued drug-abuse, or murder (from being in close contact with dangerous criminals). The only two who got a good ending were Lin Shuibo and Wuzai, since both were able to quit and earn an honest living. Of course, this could not happen if they weren’t supporting each other through the rehab process.

Second is another type of effect that the drugs had on those who made/sold them, and that is greed. The reason Lin Yaodong had so much power over everyone else in the village was because he could give them the money they desired. According to Lin Yaodong, the village used to be dirt poor, but ever since he led the villagers to manufacture crystal meth, everyone there quickly became wealthy, and all that easy money gave rise to greed. Lin Yaodong then used a combination of his own status in the clan and the greed of the villagers to control them, thus satisfying his own lust for power:

“I know whether the people of Tazhai have had a change of heart just from sitting in this car. At this hour, adults should be leaving work, and children should be leaving school, all of them going home, even the elderly lady selling produce. The fact that our car can drive forward so smoothly on this narrow road means the people of Tazhai haven’t had any change of heart.”

This lust for power was also the reason he described his goal as to build the biggest, most beautiful ancestral shrine for the Lin clan. He saw the ancestral shrine as the seat and symbol of his power, and this was apparent when the three family heads gathered there like a panel of judges at a court to announce Lin Shengwen’s punishment.

Lin Yaodong’s image as the great provider for the village then began to corrupt the younger generations of the village as well, since they all looked up to Lin Yaodong and hoped to become his henchmen. This began to destroy the real familial bonds between people in the clan and replaced it with simple trust and blind loyalty, which effectively turned the clan into a sort of mafia. Even though almost everyone in the main branch and second branch still talked about what’s good for the clan and seemingly tried to contribute in their own ways, when one compared what these characters say versus what they do, then their true motivations began to show. There’s Lin Yaohua and his two sons, Lin Can and Lin Tianhao, who would maim, torture, and kill members of their own clan just because trust was broken. For them, there’s not much real familial bond to speak of, there’s only loyalty to “Uncle Dong” (Lin Yaodong) and "Uncle Hua” (Lin Yaohua). They may still call each other “brothers”, “uncles”, but these words contain more indications of power than affection. At the same time, the blind loyalty eroded away at the humanity of the younger members of the Lin clan, and this was perfectly demonstrated with Lin Can’s sudden decision to kill Zhao Jialiang at the climax, an act that disturbed even Lin Yaodong.

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My Criticisms & Other Thoughts

Finally, criticisms.

I agree with other people that the writing for the 3rd and 2nd to last episodes (ep 46 & 47) did not seem to have the same quality of writing as earlier episodes, but I am of the opinion that it wasn’t a huge problem. What was a problem was the overacting from some actors at the climax. Again, it wasn’t that bad, but it was enough to briefly break my suspension of disbelief. Also, the last episode was among the best in the drama.

About the complaint that Zhao Jialiang’s death was unnecessary and forced into the script, I disagree. I don’t think Zhao Jialiang ever went into Tazhai village expecting to come out alive in the first place. Dude’s there to avenge his wife and that was it. On the other hand, his death also highlights how far Lin Can had fallen. Point is, his death might feel abrupt, but it does make sense if you think about it.

About the “plot holes”. I agree with one comment I’ve seen that many of the “plot holes” people pointed out were actually explained in later episodes. They probably commented pretty early on in the drama, so that’s why certain things seemed like plot holes to them.

As for Chen Ke, again, I do agree that she may be the weakest character in the drama, but unlike some have said, I don’t think it was 100% on the actor, and I’m pretty sure it had something to do with the writing. This drama clearly aimed to be realistic, so almost all of the characters expressed some sort of shock upon seeing another character get wounded/killed, and I think that’s the reason why Chen Ke panicked when Ma Wen got blasted with a shotgun. Chen Ke was just a normal civilian who happened to be a nurse, she’s not a nurse in the army or something, of course she would be shocked if the event took place in front of her eyes. Seeing the aftermath and witnessing the event first hand are completely different things.

Everything else about the drama, cinematography, music, etc....were all ok. Nothing bad, but also nothing notable. I did like the theme song though.

(Bonus little rant about all those cdrama scenes where a character is severely ill or wounded or killed..........can we stop having all of them spit out mouthfuls of blood???? When a character got stabbed in the guts or shot through the heart, they should NOT be spitting blood, unless they are also wounded in the lungs or stomach or mouth, then ok fine, but it’s still more of a situation of coughing up blood. Seriously. When Zhao Jialiang got shot through the heart and immediately started spitting blood, I actually burst out laughing. This silly shit needs to change.)

And that is it! All in all I liked The Thunder, and I may watch it again later.

#the thunder #cdrama #破冰行动 #conclusion post #thoughts #interpretations #my translation

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theda-rison · 4 years ago

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Used-to-be-Thursday-Night-Link-Round-Up - August 21st

I am writing this early so I’ll actually be on time this week, lol.

Ahahahahaha, what a joke. I literally wrote this on Wednesday so I would be early this week and I’m trash who ended up just... mainlining two different, long-ass manga during the week (idk what happened to my time, for real), and now I’m late. XD

Anyway, here it is:

We start with a video by Philosophy Tube, because I adore that man (did I say that once? I feel like I might have… whatever) his penchant for making videos that are thoroughly entertaining at the same time as being massively informative and very funny just appeals to the fact that I grew up on Bill Nye, Beakman’s World, and Horrible Histories and must be debuffed by Comedy in order to remember anything I learn. Such is the life of having brain gremlins that put you to sleep whenever you’re doing something boring (and a great many things are boring when your nervous system runs only on Interest).

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The topic of this video is Anti-Semitism, and is a look at - as one person in the comments pointed out - modern antisemitism(maybe he could do a look at the ancient origins of it at some point, because I know I want to know where it comes from and keep forgetting to look it up), but I think he wanted to look a the question of “Why Jews?” in the modern era because they tend to be the scapegoat for, like, ….everything.

The only downside of the video - for me - is: eight years of French classes had me cringing at his pronunciation. The cringe was evenly distributed throughout the video, for that reason, lol.

Onto the Michael Brooks Show, because I’m slowly going through the backlogs of videos I haven’t watched. This is an interview with Touré Reed about the uncoupling of Race and Class by Liberals in politics.

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This decoupling obviously makes dealing with issues where those two things intersect more difficult to address, because if you only address one and not the other you’re not addressing the whole of the root of the problem. “World War 2 ended the Great Depression, but because it was The New Deal on steroids,” is not something I ever thought of, but now that he’s explained it it makes total fucking sense.

Some internet history for you from Inside a Mind: I had never heard of Fantastic Daily before this, I’m not sure how since I like ARGs and have caught onto a few before they wrapped up and I think they’re fun.

This is interesting because it’s like, “What happens when a bunch of people who aren’t really privy to ARGs and how they work, and who honestly believe that the topic of the ARG exist find out that they’ve been playing a game all along?”

I guess it’s like this: You just lost The Game.

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(I think I just had a flashback to high school because of that. I’m sorry.)

The part I just don’t understand is being an adult human and sending death threats. Like, he fooled you a little bit with some online bullshit, he didn’t kill your dog, you know? I don’t believe in ghosts or “black-eyed kids” (Black-Eyed Peas, maybe) but like, even if I did, my reaction would have been like, “Oh, you got me. Haha. Whelp, you can’t believe everything you read online,” *canned sitcom laughter as the credits roll.* It’s just bizarre to me that people got SO mad. Save the vitriol and the direct action for things that matter, you know? Like dismantling the system.

For our writing related video this week, here’s one I feel like I need most of the time, lol. Tale Foundry with Avoiding Writing Info-Dumps?

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“Hey, isn’t it hard to tell the reader about your world without just telling them about it like a10-year-old who just got a book from the library about horses?” Yes. Yes it is. And also I’m scared. And also, now I want to look up horses.

Scatter your exposition. Share info in context, not as a whole chunk.

Make information implicit, rather than explicit. Help your audience make inferences by showing and not telling.

Or… get rid of it! If it’s not important to the story (it damages the experience without adding anything useful) then just take it out.

Anyway, a three-course-meal of Food For Thought for when I start editing my comic. As I was writing certain parts I was like, “This is horribly done exposition but I don’t remember how to do it better.” And I looked like this as I cried --> T_T

Business Stuff by Daniel Thrasher.

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This guy’s facial expressions make his videos, lol. This isn’t the first one I found, but I ended up watching wayyyy too many of them.

Songs of the Week:

Rage Against the Machine - Bulls on Parade But It's Mambo No. 5 - Lou Bega

https://youtu.be/DflYYP20k-g

One of the weirder mashups, I think? Also, clicking on the first one weeks ago has just forever marred my youtube recommendations. They just keep coming up.

All Star (As An English Madrigal) (SATB Choir) - Arranged by Nathan Howe - Hal Leonard Choral

https://youtu.be/mbDjE_G383k

You know how people say, “The [whatever] I didn’t know I needed!” I’m not even sure if I needed this. But… here it is. I think I like it? It elicits a lot of confusion. I think it’s all the “Hey nonny nonny”s. Then again, maybe it’s that part of my brain keeps thinking it’s going to turn into christmas music. I don’t know.

Interstellar Main Theme, Hans Zimmer - Kalimba cover. - IPIDA SOUND

https://youtu.be/-0cuwM0A6Qg

Way more soothing than the first two songs, lol. Full disclosure: I have never seen Interstellar, and, I’m okay with that.

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