#it's just frustrating sometimes because I can interpret that as people acting as if they're entitled to my writing

[defectivehero]

Will we see a part 2 in the future ??????????

Hi hi! Unfortunately, the fic won't have a part two. Honestly, my main problem lies with exactly *how* I would go about writing a story with multiple parts. I rarely have the attention span for it, since it's not really my preferred writing style. And with Sebastian's fics in particular, I recognize that the endings may have been ambiguous... I didn't mean to lead people on or anything 😅 This isn't the first time I've been asked for more Sebastian, which makes me think I must be doing something right, somehow. (And I appreciate everyone's interest!)

Sebastian's character is just very fascinating to me, so I didn't really consider a straightforward ending to either fic. I will also admit that I struggle to think of an authentic way to end a story with him, namely because there is no true ending to Pressure. I'm not the biggest fan of happy endings, and the thought of him and the reader just happily walking off into the sunset doesn't fit my vibe or writing style. To me, their relationship really relies on that underlying tension between them: they both need one another, whether they like it or not. And that tension can only be cultivated when they're within the walls of the Hadal Blacksite. I'm much more keen to explore the doomed spiral and cycle of the reader's exploration through the Blacksite, with Sebastian as an enigmatic and inexplicable presence throughout. That, combined with my own feelings as a person somewhere on the aromantic spectrum, makes any fic with explicit romance/a romantic relationship unappealing to me.

That was a super long-winded way of saying no to a part two. But! More one shots are not out of the realm of possibility, if that makes sense. My silly little brain just needs a jolt sometimes.

If you read all this, thanks! Appreciate you. <3

[daisyychainssj]

I know the whole Richas and Tallulah conflict happened hours ago and it reached a resolution and stuff but I'm just now catching up with it so I'm gonna write out my feelings about it because I think the whole thing and the way everyone is interpreting it differently is really interesting. I'm probably going to end up saying things that people said like hours ago so sorry if it's a bit repetitive to read!

!THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOT THE CCS!

Richas POV - Okay so firstly, Richas' pov is probably the most complicated because he (obviously) has a much more complex relationship and understanding of the paintings. Not only do they cause him to be distressed because of how they're created but seeing it up on Philza's wall has just shown him that his pai Cellbit betrayed his trust. He didn't get rid of the paintings and instead has been just handing them out behind his back and I can't imagine how gut wrenching that must've been. Tallulah get's defensive about the painting and so she becomes the target of all of his hurt, frustration and fear. He is so worked up over this (understandably) and is getting increasingly frustrated because nobody is listening to him. He didn't agree to the "not be siblings anymore" ultimatum because he truly felt that way, I think he was just blinded by pure desperation. This poor kid NEEDS to be given the opportunity to sit down with someone and open up about this whole Romero Richas situation and he needs to be listened to and his fears taken seriously.

Tallulah POV - Now onto Tallulah's pov. For Tallulah this painting is a cute art piece of her papa phil and her brother Chayanne and suddenly her other brother is demanding that he take it back. Yes it's his painting but also she's a kid, in her eyes this painting was given to them and it's theirs now why would she give it back just so it can be destroyed? Also, Tallulah is the sweet egg! the kind egg! oh she's just so lovely and that's all there is to her!!!!! (sense my sarcasm here) sometimes when that is the way that someone presents themselves it's because they're scared that if they aren't that way they won't be liked/loved and people will leave if they're not prefect. This girl has abandonment issues on top of abandonment issues and Richas agreed to not be her sibling anymore over a painting. So this impacted her HARD. (we ofc know Richas didn't mean it but her character didn't) Tallulah acts out and (from her pov) stands her ground for once and now her brother doesn't want to be her brother anymore. I also think her throwing a tantrum and being a bratty made some of the audience even more shocked and dare I say frustrated at Tallulah behaving like this during this situation because that's not how they're used to her being. She was being stubborn and giving these intense ultimatums but she can be like this I think people just don't see it often because she only really lets her guards down in that way infront of Phil and Chayanne.

So now you have two extremely worked up kids who won't really listen to each other because their emotions are so heightened and that's to be expected! Children can not and should not be expected to regulate their emotions in the same way adults can.

Forever POV - His entire pov of the situation is very interesting to me. I see a lot of people criticising the way he handled this and to a certain extent I do agree. However, I think something that is being overlooked is that Forever perhaps wanting to make sure Tallulah was okay is because that is not his child. He only got permission literally yesterday to look after her after being previously denied. With Richas he can sit with him for HOURS afterwards if needed to try and talk through things. He has to drop Tallulah home in like an hour. It's very obvious to everyone on the island how close she is with Phil, she will tell him everything that happened during her time with the other parents. It makes sense, to me, for Forever to want to try and smooth the situation out as fast as he can and make everything okay. Do I think that makes the way he acted completely fine. No. but I don't think it makes zero sense for him to have acted that way. Also, him being Richas' pai means he's seen Richas have tantrums and be dramatic and bratty, he's never ever seen Tallulah do that so yeah he's going to panic and be like "oh shit I need to calm her down/make sure she's okay because this is unusual". I really do wish he had taken Richas' feelings and concerns more more seriously and hadn't just left him for a bit hopefully in the future he makes sure that he does that. It's a learning curve and he's learning to parent as he goes! He crash landed on an island and then got a child dropped into his lap to take care of so he's kinda just learning on the job.

BBH POV - I don't really have much to say here, I think bad handled the situation well given what he canonically knows about the Romero Richas situation (which is basically nothing) He encouraged Tallulah to talk things through with Richas and kept explaining how important their bond is and idk I just think BBH did a really good job.

Overall, I LOVE that the eggs are getting storylines with each other and are learning and growing. I'm so glad that Richas and Tallulah made up, they both need a warm hug and some hot chocolate or something after that whole ordeal. Little kids feeling big emotions for the first time is tough! but they did great <3

(I apologise if I missed anything important that happened between Richas and Forever when they were alone, I don't speak Portuguese but I tried my best based on the bits and pieces that the wonderful Portuguese speakers on here have translated!)

Anyway that's my long ass essay done! <3

[gynandromorph]

It's okay not to answer, I know it's broad territory, but I really respect you as an artist and writer. How do you handle people misinterpreting or missing elements of your work, especially when they may still enjoy it and get something out of it? As an artist I'm struggling lately with knowing my work will always inherently be read differently from what I intended as a matter of the human experience, as well as me being autistic complicating my ability to communicate.

An addition to that last ask. I don't know if it's clear what I'm asking so I'll give some examples. A 50 year old man and a 21 year old woman will get different things from a movie due to their lived experiences. As a gentile reader I might miss jewish narrative themes in a piece of work. That doesn't mean it's bad for us to have experienced it, but as an author I find it frustrating when something is missed or misinterpreted, and I don't know how not to be a control freak about it.

i feel you, i have ocpd and being misinterpreted when i agonized and stressed about how to present my wording makes me want to light myself on fire and it's something i'm working on. writers are supposed to expect and account for different perspectives ahead of time, so it always sort of shocks me when i hear interpretations i wouldn't have thought about at all. i know logically i can't predict all outcomes, but it's still surprising anyway!!! but i generally feel a lot of distress about being misinterpreted because i'm afraid it'll label me as A Bad Person, so i think that's where the experience diverges. maybe investigating why you need to or want to control the way your work is interpreted would help as a starting point? i think having a larger audience helps, too... it means more people will misinterpret your work, but it also means you're more likely to have at least One Guy who interprets it just right and makes fireworks go off in your brain, but there's no way to control how big your audience is!

anyway, the ways to control how your work is interpreted, to the degree that you can:

you can make it simpler. the more parts a story has added to its complexity, the more it's going to be misinterpreted.

you can make the intended message more blatant. you can have a character say exactly what you want the audience to think or hear, or something very close to it. don't want a detail missed? make it bigger.

you can reprioritize parts of the story. basically think of a group of interpretations you want the audience to have if you can, and then put them in order of importance. then the story has a hierarchy to lean on wrt artistic decisions.

you can give the story multiple meanings. more targets to hit. if they're mutually exclusive, i find this works better... i like making my stories ambiguous with conflicting interpretations a lot. yeah, people are going to interpret the story wrong, because it was made in a way that will guarantee it is interpreted wrong in some way.

you can layer the meaning so that less literate audience members will at least get SOME of what you intended. basically, close to the previous strategy, but like a hybrid of that and "make it simpler" imo because you're constructing multiple interpretations that are all supposed to lead to one conclusion (like a persuasive essay or something), but can act as an adequate conclusion on their own.

all of these options have obvious qualitative losses. if you have anything in particular that is repeatedly misinterpreted or missed, it's a good idea to think about Why you're making those choices. consciously committing to a higher-risk artistic choice will help you feel more in control of what happens to it once it's done. the way your art is interpreted isn't totally out of your control, you are making decisions that add to or mitigate the risk of misinterpretations, and you can bring those choices to a more conscious awareness to see them and appreciate them. sometimes it'll feel like a begrudging compromise, but it'll still be Your choice ultimately.

on an emotional level... hopefully this makes sense. there's always going to be the piss-on-the-poor scenario and sometimes i just remind myself that some people are not as literate as me, but it's great we were still able to connect through a work that was probably difficult for them!!! it was a privilege to get to grow up with a good education, access to art and technology, strangers who want to look at what i made, and there are times where i take this for granted, and my expectations of readers are actually kind of unreasonable!!! some people are younger than me and say stupid things like i did, but they aren't able to understand things like me yet, and it's important for them to learn by figuring it out on their own!!! i was and will always be That Guy to other artists and other writers, and i want to give other people the same grace as i get. some people have wildly different life experiences compared to mine, and these experiences can be much more nuanced than i could ever imagine, but it's a little gift that they made my world larger by sharing theirs through my art!!! it's terrifying and embarrassing knowing that i don't know much of anything, even about something i have total control over, but the consequences of that aren't always negative. and possibly the saddest but most common way i deal with this is nothing more than accepting that no one is ever going to understand me on the level that i want to be understood. sometimes my frustration has come from a place of miserable alienation, where the need to feel Seen can be quite desperate. i've made art explicitly about Me, and i've made art deliberately hostile towards its audience, art that's said they don't get it and they never will, but they still bothered to try. i made a game that said no one will win here and they still played it with me, and i can appreciate that. in many cases, they actually know more about me than i know about them. but more importantly, it isn't my audience's job to take care of that emotional need -- in fact, as much as art is made out to be a mode of pure self-expression, i don't think they can. it's a reality that i don't like, but i accept it. art made to benefit others is a one-way mirror: you make them feel seen, but they should never see you, because if they see you, the mirror isn't working.

[cosmicjoke]

Same eruri anon. I think it's wild and utterly bonkers that some eruris called you homophobic and harassed you because you stated that eruri isn't canon, which in text it literally isn't. I could argue Erwin loved Levi romantically or Levi loved Erwin romantically but they never acted on it because they're soldiers with their care and duties being above any romantic relationship but that's just MY interpretation and I know that, but claiming it as canon when it was never shown to be the actual case in the manga would be kinda extra of me lol. You were only stating actual canon fact so I don't know why that would make anyone mad unless they think it taints their interpretation lol. Really sorry about that.

Also, your point about talking more about Erwin and Levi's relationship because of its complexity was very interesting. To play the devil's advocate for my fellow eruris but not to excuse those who harassed you for your takes. I think why most eruris immediately call people homophobes for any thing they think is hate is because they do face a lot of homophobia for even merely having the audacity to ship Levi with Erwin. Like people saying Levi would be disgusted by the thought of being shipped with a man or even kick the shippers in the teeth and crack their skulls in for shipping the two plus saying other vile things make the shippers jump to conclusions. I also think they call people homophobes because they feel only Levi and Erwin's relationship gets heavily criticized and not his other straight ships. I think a lot of them aren't aware that people like you who analyze Erwin and Levi's relationship is because of the complexities of it and they mistake it as it just being another person trying to rain on their parade while ignoring other things said about Levi. Like on TikTok it's very famous for people to believe Levi was going to marry Petra and a lot of people actually believe that and claim it as canon. So I think eruris shout homophobia because they don't understand how no one tries to debunk Levihan or rivetra but only seem to come for them and their ship(not saying that's what you're doing) But they feel like if people really care about setting the facts about Levi straight then why do some ignore other big misconception about him and only try to correct the thought of people saying he was in love with a man.

Also, I agree with everything you said about Erwin and Zeke and why Levi perceive them differently, and I agree that serious conversations has no place in shipping 100% or trying to bring ships into serious discussion.

And trolling can be harmful, I agree but sometimes people just get frustrated and they can't help it when they feel like they're constantly getting attacked, misconstrued, lumped in with others and belittled.

I understand the desire to troll people when they're being blatantly disrespectful or intentionally confrontational. I think, though, if one is going to troll, then they should make it obvious that that's what they're doing. Tone isn't discernible on the internet, so how is one meant to parse out serious statements from statements made sarcastically if that isn't made clear? Then it just has the effect of making an entire shipping community look off their rockers.

Anyway, the reason, again, why I think you don't see as much push-back on ships like Rivetra or Levihan is, again, because Levi's relationships with Petra and Hange are much less complicated and nuanced than his relationship with Erwin. There's a reason I write mostly about Levi's relationship with Erwin. It's not because I think he cared more about Erwin than Hange or Petra, it's because there's simply more to talk about, more to unpack, more to examine. I actually think it reduces Levi's relationship with Erwin to something frivolous and boring when one claims it was "love". It was a lot more than that. Erwin had a profound impact on the way Levi chose to approach one of the aspects of life he found least able to reconcile with himself. That is, how he could be surrounded by meaningless death while feeling life was invaluable. Erwin made Levi believe he could change that by fighting to make the dreams of his fallen comrades come true. That he could imbue their deaths with meaning by fighting on in the name of their dream, or by accomplishing whatever task they died for, thereby undoing the injustice of their lives being tossed aside as if cheap. By comparison, he barely interacts with Petra before she dies, and Hange and Levi, like I said, have a very straightforward friendship, acting more as buddies and partners, doing things together, running missions together, etc, etc... I think Levi was probably personally closer to Hange, as a friend, than he ever was to Erwin. Erwin remained unknowable and at a distance from everyone until nearly the end, when he at last confided in Levi. But for Erwin, Levi held an immense admiration and respect because he saw him as a great visionary and leader, and an altruistic man.

People saying Levi wanted to "marry Petra" doesn't have the potential to lead to Levi's actions and motivations throughout the story being wildly misinterpreted the way saying Levi "sacrificed humanity" for Erwin does, for example. People choosing to see Levi as having romantic feelings for Petra or Hange, despite there being zero evidence for either, doesn't in any, fundamental way affect the way people see Levi's character or what drove him in his actions. It's just a cute ship that doesn't have the potential to cast Levi's character in a negative light. But people choosing to see Levi as having romantic feelings for Erwin very much can and does affect the way people see his character and what drove him in his actions. Levi makes no pivotal choice in relation to Petra's or Hange's fate, for example, the way he has to with Erwin, so you don't get absurd discussions surrounding the nature of his relationship with them, or the nature of his choice, the way you do his relationship with Erwin, with people claiming he would and did "sacrifice humanity" for them because he just cared about them so much more than anyone or anything else. It's got nothing to do with not wanting to see Levi romantically linked with a man (at least not with me. I've said it multiple times at this point, but I both read and write eruri fanfic. There are, of course, actual homophobic anti-shippers out there). It's got to do with casting Levi in a light that completely butchers his character, all to push the idea that he loved Erwin so much, that even humanity didn't matter to him by comparison. It all plays into that idea that Levi would compromise his morals for Erwin, would blindly follow Erwin no matter what, etc, etc... It's designed to make Levi look like a selfish prick, when he's literally the exact opposite. He's the most selfless character in the story.

[highfantasy-soul]

maybe I'm just projecting my own stuff onto The Acolyte, but it's kinda frustrating seeing people take Qimir's "I don't wanna follow the jedi's rules" and see that his interpretation is "I can do whatever I want even if it hurts people" and stop there. Safe and comfortable in their bubble of "so that means anyone against the jedi are like him and the jedi, once again, are prefect and above reproach!"

Qimir is the person who chafes against the Jedi's rules that we see - because those without power or strength have already been crushed underfoot.

It's similar to the whole idea of "Why are all the gays so angry and mean? Because you killed all the nice ones, so us angry mean ones are all that's left"

Just because what Qimir is doing is wrong, doesn't make what the Jedi do right. There's nuance here. There's ethnic cleansing here. There's re-education and generational trauma here.

We NEVER see the witches do anything remotely evil. Yet the Jedi chased them out of the galaxy and forbade them from teaching their culture to children. Do you know what that's called? Ethnic cleansing. It happened to indigenous children all over the world, and you can see it specifically in boarding schools for native american children. Tribal cultures were squashed - their children stolen and re-educated to fit the white standard and forbidden from speaking their native language, wearing their hair in their indigenous ways, and worshiping they way they had for generations. (Notable here is the fact that due to WHITE people's over-hunting of bison and whales, indigenous people were legally barred from hunting them as well - something that was very integral to their practices. White people caused the problem and indigenous people's cultures suffered all the while white people get to act all holy and 'eco-friendly' about it)

To place your culture above that of others and force everyone else to either adhere to your ways or do their thing quietly in the dark where no one can see them - and no children can exist - is BAD. The point is to remove a culture from existence as no new members can be taught traditional ways. That is a part of ethnic cleansing. (Stealing indigenous babies from their families and placing them with white, christian families where they'll never see people from their birth culture again is a whole ass thing)

This also causes a lot of generational harm where those who have been 're-educated' from a culture sometimes look down on their native family and see them as 'less civilized, savage, backward, and less-than' the white culture they were indoctrinated in as children. That's the point of getting children so young - they're malleable and raise them with enough propaganda, and you can get them to look their own family in the face and denounce them.

Many will not have the power to fight back, so they'll have to abide by the new rules and everyone will say "see? they're still alive! That means we're not oppressive!" But others will speak truth to power and try to stand in defiance of those rules - many peacefully, just by embracing their native traditions. Did the witches attack the Jedi? No. They removed themselves from the Republic sphere of influence and bore children. Yet the Jedi still came and told them they weren't allowed and forced them to 'present' their children for Jedi judgment.

Does that mean every aspect of a culture that's not the majority is automatically going to be good? No. But NO culture is 100% good. Why do the Jedi get to work towards being better while no one else gets that opportunity? Why are minority cultures held to an impossible standard of perfection while the majority gets to skate by training child soldiers, stealing toddlers, and enforcing their religion on the whole galaxy?

When you push other cultures down, the ones who rise up in violent opposition aren't going to be nice about it. But note how even though Qimir's actions are awful, he only ever has killed enemy combatants. The Jedi are soldiers, cops, invaders. They are able to perform state-sanctioned violence against anyone they choose (not sure if it was intentional, but look how they treated those arrested for crimes in episode 1 - none of those people had gotten trials yet, none had been proven guilty, but they were treated as guilty without a second thought).

We understand Frank Castle's motivations even if we don't condone them - because he's fighting back against incredible systems of power that hurt people and he doesn't see another way to hold them accountable. To me, Qimir (and Mae and the witches) fall closer to that category than Vader or Palpatine.

Look at how quick people were to scream that the witches were brainwashing Osha, yet ignore how the Jedi do practically the same. Now imagine if the witches went around to children only 4 years old throughout the galaxy and tried to get them to come join the coven - never to see their families again. It'd be horrifying. Yet the Jedi do the same, but because it's the 'majority', it's 'the norm', we assume it must be right because "Hey, the Jedi are the good guys!"

Idk, I think the Acolyte is doing a wonderful job of 'not taking sides' and just presenting each side's arguments without judgment rather than saying 'so they're right and you should side with them'. To me, NO side is 'right', they're all just people and the situations are messy. Qimir might be wrong, but so are the jedi - just because Qimir is wrong, doesn't mean that the jedi are automatically right and above reproach.

There are others suffering under jedi rule that have long been snuffed out or subjugated so fully that it will take the rise of the empire in order for them to have the space to stand up again. And I think dismissing those people because 'Qimir is worse' is a disservice to the message and discussions the acolyte is trying to promote.

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

I think everybody has certain things where they prefer the fanon/headcanon version and certain things where they prefer canon. I know I do.

For example, I like to headcanon that, in a scenario where Anakin turns back earlier and he and Obi-Wan are both still alive but Order 66 still happened, that Obi-Wan would not and could not remain friends with him. He might forgive him, but that forgiveness would look more like choosing to let go of his own anger and do what he could to help Anakin let go of the darkness for the sake of the galaxy. In canon, we see Obi-Wan seem pretty happy to stand next to Anakin as a ghost, with the implication that he's decided bygones are bygones and he's just happy to have his brother back or whatever. But that doesn't work for me, so my headcanon is that the only reason he can do that is because they're both dead and still semi part of the Force at that point, so there are things Obi-Wan can let go of in death that he couldn't have done in life.

A LOT of my favorite ships are ships that don't exist in canon because I don't LIKE the ships that exist in canon, and I prefer to allow my faves to find happiness with characters I like better.

But I also prefer the way Lucas's canon handles the Jedi, their culture, their teachings, their position within the narrative, etc. I tend to HATE the way fandom treats the Jedi, I hate their headcanons about the Jedi being "dogmatic" or "old-fashioned", I hate the headcanons about their relationships with the clones most of the time because so often it treats the Jedi either like abusers or like children.

And there are some canon ships I absolutely ADORE and never want to change anything about them ever.

So I don't think it's inherently a bad thing for people to prefer their own headcanons or a popular fanon over canon. It's not even inherently bad for fanon to become so popular that people might not realize it's fanon sometimes. What gets frustrating is when people act like it's canon and get rude at people who don't adhere to a particular fanon/headcanon in their own interpretations, whether they prefer their OWN headcanon or canon itself. You see this primarily in the debate over the Jedi and the way this idea of the prequels being about how the Jedi were corrupt was always the intended message, and people are just SO attached to this that even when they're shown multiple quotes from Lucas himself saying otherwise, they'll refuse to believe it or they'll just dismiss Lucas's intentions and decide that their interpretation means more than the author's actual narrative. And like, if the only way someone is capable of enjoying Star Wars is to view the Jedi as abusive monsters, then fine, whatever, that's their deal. But it should be recognized AS A HEADCANON, as a personal interpretation of the media, and NOT peddled as the intended narrative of the story when it's so easy to find examples of the author saying otherwise.

Headcanons and fanon can be SO MUCH FUN, there's so many that I've seen people come up with that I have adored, I've come up with a lot of my own that I still really like and have fun playing with from time to time. But headcanons being fun doesn't make them canon. It never has.

[cantstoplovingjude]

Underneath the Black Veil: Alfons Sylvatica Ch.2

This is from Ikemen Villains EN, Cybird owns everything.

Alfons: "Why do you think people want to have weddings, anyway?"

Kate: "Hmm?"

Alfons: "If they truly love each other, why go to all the trouble?"

Alfons: "It's expensive, takes a lot of work and causes all manners of frustration, so why bother with it?"

Kate: "That's awfully blunt, isn't it?"

(Still, he's got a point. I've never really thought about the point of having a wedding.)

Kate: "I'm sure there are various reasons."

Kate: "Like wanting to look your best in front of each other, or wanting to share your special day with family and friends."

Kate: "But probably the most important reason is to create happy memories."

Alfons: "What do you mean by that?"

Kate: "Well, there's always sad and painful times in life. No one can avoid that."

Kate: "But when you go through tough times, if you have happy memories to think back on, it can help you move forward."

Kate: "So maybe that's part of it."

Alfons: "Perhaps, but I personally believe that humans are forgetful creatures."

Alfons: "And you know what they say. Sometimes people can only live by forgetting."

It was true that it was difficult to live while carrying around sad and painful things.

That's why time robbed people of their memories. Sometimes gently, and sometimes cruelly.

(But...)

Kate: "I don't think I'd forget something I want to remember forever."

His gaze focused on me, his ash-grey eyes narrowing slightly.

Kate: "Alfons?"

Alfons: "Ah, that's right. There's something I wanted to ask you."

Alfons: "What color was the candy you just wrapped?"

Kate: "Huh? Um..."

Kate: "Red? Or no, maybe it was yellow..."

Alfons: "Ahha!"

Alfons: "You're not very convincing talking about remembering things forever when you forget something that happened just now."

Kate: "That's not..."

Follower: "Ahem."

Kate: "Oh..."

==========

Instead of showing the followers how much we loved each other, we just ended up bickering.

Alfons: "I'm so excited to have our first sleepover, Miss Robin!"

(I never thought we'd be staying overnight...)

(That means they're still suspicious of us.)

I felt bad that things weren't going as smoothly as I expected.

Alfons: "There's only one bed for a loving couple to share. Just what are we to do?"

With a smirk, he pushed my shoulders, making me stumble backwards onto the bed.

Kate: "W-wait a second!"

He brought his lips to my ear as he climbed on top of me.

Alfons: "Hush. There's still someone outside."

(Oh, the followers are still listening...)

Alfons: "Come on and get to work, my dear."

The moment he whispered that to me, I felt a sweet stimulation running down my neck.

The proximity of him and his warmth had my thoughts wandering elsewhere...

Alfons: "Aww, are you feeling nervous because we're not in our usual bed at home? Or does it feel more thrilling?"

Alfons: "You're so cute, my shy little lover."

He wedged his knee between my legs.

Kate: "A-ahh...!"

Alfons: "Yes, that's right... Moan for me like you always do."

Alfons: "And let's love each other as much as we possibly can, hm?"

Despite my better judgment, my body grew hot.

I wondered how long he was going to tease me, because if he kept this up much longer, I might just-

Alfons: "...They're gone."

He let go of me as I gasped, trying to catch my breath.

Alfons: "Ahha. Look at that needy look on your face. How divine... Don't worry, you don't have to act anymore."

Alfons: "Unless you want to continue, of course?"

Kate: "I-I didn't say that-"

Alfons: "I'd like to live up to your expectations, but unfortunately I have other things to do."

Kate: "Like what?"

Alfons: "Like looking for the hidden bodies. Her Majesty told me to make sure to check for evidence."

Alfons: "And although I may not look it, I always do my job properly."

(That means...)

Kate: "...You intentionally did all that so that we'd have to stay overnight, didn't you?"

Alfons: "You can interpret things however you'd like. Tata for now!"

I let out a sigh as Alfons disappeared again.

(He's so ridiculous and dishonest.)

(But...)

-Flashback-

Kate: "I don't think I'd forget something I want to remember forever."

Alfons: "....."

-Flashback Ends-

For some reason, it felt like I caught a glimpse of his true feelings in that moment.

(Or maybe it was just my imagination. Why am I thinking about him so much anyway?)

==========

Alfons: "Kate, Kate. It's time to wake up."

Kate: "Mmm..."

Alfons: "I can't believe you fell asleep just waiting for your lover to come back."

Kate: "Oh, I guess I did fall asleep..."

It was already light outside and a new day had begun.

Alfons: "Well. Would you like the good news or the bad news first?"

Kate: "The bad news."

Alfons: "I found the bodies in a hidden room in the basement."

(Well, I can't say that's surprising.)

Alfons: "Some of them were already skeletons, but when I examined the ones that had recently died, I realized something."

Alfons: "The wounds were clean stab wounds. That must mean they were put to sleep or drugged, and then stabbed to death."

Alfons: "I think it's safe to assume that the followers are helping, but the actual murders are being done by the leader acting alone."

Alfons: "But now, let me tell you the good news."

He took something out of a box next to him.

Kate: "A black dress?"

Alfons: "Thanks to our naughty behavior last night, they've allowed us to get married today."

Alfons: "You'll have to hurry, because our wedding will start in a few hours."

Kate: "A few hours?!"

Alfons: "Yes. Would you like me to help you get ready? I will gladly undress you and all that."

Kate: "N-no, thank you!"

Alfons: "Aw, that's a shame."

==========

I quickly put on my wedding dress and rushed out to Alfons, who was waiting on me.

Kate: "Thanks for waiting."

Alfons: "Hm. That looks rather lovely on you."

Alfons: "Well, that's no surprise given that Victor chose the dress."

Kate: "I was wondering if that was the case."

Alfons: "Haha. Now, let's open the door and start the condemnation. Your hand?"

He put my hand through his arm to escort me inside.

(Even though I know it's just a mission, I'm nervous about the idea of getting married.)

Alfons: "Ah, you might remember today on your real wedding day."

I blinked, looking at him with mild surprise.

Alfons: "But I'm sure I'm the only one who could give you such a thrilling experience."

Alfons: "Shall we go?"

There were no guests in the chapel. Just me and Alfons.

And before we knew it, the person we were waiting for finally appeared at the altar...

End Ch.2

[dootznbootz]

hello, sorry it's me again, you've basically become my comfort blog-

I was on reddit and out of curiosity typed in "Circe rant" because idk, I was feeling salty about the book.

I saw a post that had some legitimately good reasons and indicated that this is all just the person's opinion.

But when I checked the replies everyone was just disagreeing with them and being very rude?

Like, they complained about how the book doesn't feel feministic because Circe isn't that likable of a character? And then half the replies were "Uhh she's supposed to be morally gray" "I disagree, Madeline told her story very well." "What gave you the impression this book was supposed to be feministic??"

(Disregarding half the reviews on the cover are calling it a "great feministic piece")

I was kinda pissed so I went to post my own thought about why I really dislike Miller's take on Circe. And 80 present of the replies were just flaming me-

Some guy said people can interpret her anyway they want because she's not real. Someone said I should be more humble and that I just don't like Circe as a character (which is not true). And so on.

Something I've seen is that the Circe book fans are so sensitive good god- Whenever someone criticizes their book they go full defensive mode. Trying to reason with you when most of the time you're the one who actually knows more about the actual character-

They act like all of our concerns on the book actually have a reason and make sense? Honestly, props to us for being bold enough to voice our concerns on a book that basically has a cult following-

Again, really sorry for coming here to bother you. I'm just salty and I genuinely really like your takes

That's really sweet that you feel safe and comfy on my blog. That's what I'm trying to be. Thank you 🥹

You're not bothering me <3 I can understand being salty about the book. It makes me salty too. It's why it's honestly good to block the tags and avoid most of that stuff. Make friends and find the community that actually understand what actually went down in the Odyssey and what happened to Odysseus. There are plenty on here! :D Also quite a few who have really neat and fun stuff about Odyssey Circe while still being respectful of Odysseus!

I don't recommend trying to fight with these folks. It's frustrating but they're not gonna change their mind. As they don't want to. Inform and educate sometimes especially if people ask but don't waste so much energy on it. It's not good for you. It's okay to vent and rant but I don't recommend searching it out. <3 You'll just stress yourself out :D

I think the book is almost like, the most "basic angry feminist shlock in a bland and easy to consume can for pre-teens" book, you know? And that's why so many people cling to it. I can see SOME people taking comfort in the anger maybe?? But idk. Anyways it has so many classic "YA shit". Girlboss who has "no flaws and can do no wrong" who actually isn't a very nice person (what's with so many characters being so mean and moody???), the mean, MEAN men who are just soooo awful to her and try to push her down. The other women who are just slutty and so dumb. They don't get it. etc. etc.

I think it's a lot of younger fans who are JUST starting to see a lot of "adult shit" and it's scary so it's nice to have...idk this?? I don't understand it. As I was never really one to be into that or really even behave that way. Odysseus is much relatable and hopeful as insane as that is.

[velvetvexations]

tbh it's kinda frustrating how some transfems act like they're not allowed to say transmisogyny anymore. the shit like "if only there was a word to describe this specific intersection of transphobia and misogyny we face. oh well." really rubs me the wrong way. nobody has been saying that transfems can't use that word! nobody's saying transmisogyny isn't a Real and Palpable form of oppression that transfems face! well, maybe someone is but they're not representative of the broad scale discussion around TME/TMA language and also they are being a shitty person. but there's this fuckin melodramatic "oh woe is me I am so beset upon by the horrible transmisogynists who won't let me talk about my oppression" and it's especially hurtful because transmascs ARE told we're not allowed to use our word. the denial of being able to have the language to discuss our oppression IS happening. it's frankly driving me up the fucking wall that they can't/won't make the connection like c'mon please you understand being denied the language to talk about your oppression is harmful you are saying so with your own fucking words you understand the denial of that language is a bad thing right you get that right so why is it okay to do to trans men? is it the pushback against TME/TMA language?? is it the idea of transandrophobia implying everyone else is an oppressor even when that's not actually what's being discussed?? is it viewing transmisogyny through a radical feminist framework positing transmisogyny as the ultimate font of oppression from which all other oppressions flow??? I want to be charitable but I don't understand why other trans people talking about their oppression is interpreted as a threat, or why it's bad that other marginalized groups within the queer community are asking for specifically TME/TMA usage to be changed so that it doesn't throw the rest of us under the bus.

sometimes it really hurts knowing just how little the so-called trans "community" actually cares about people who aren't the correct flavor of trans

(disclaimer inb4 the replies: I've experienced shit of this general variety a lot irl and it doesn't just happen in online spaces even though I really really wish it did. I'm sure there's good irl trans spaces out there but I don't have access to them in my area and the ones I do have access to make me feel like I'm in a fucking panopticon where everyone is just waiting for me to slip up and say the wrong thing so I can get thrown out. going to an irl trans space to connect with the community in a safe and healthy way is not and has never been an option for me. on an individual level I know plenty of transfemmes who I have had normal and healthy relationships with both irl and online, it's trans "community" spaces that make me feel unsafe. including tumblr)

they will truly take anything and everything as an assault on their dignity and freedom while happily kicking over others

[skateboardtotheheart]

in every fandom, I see a lot of posts that are always like "if you don't like this character you're wrong" or "you just don't understand them" and seeing those kinds of posts just makes me so frustrated???

most recently I've seen a lot of those posts about the cat king from dead boy detectives (just because it's my latest hyperfixation), and frankly, yeah, I don't really understand. and I will read your entire long post explaining why he's got all these little nuances or subtle tones or genuineness that I missed and I can grow a little more understanding about him. but hey- when I'm done reading your post? unfortunately I still do not like him. I can appreciate him and what he brings to the show, but I just don't like him. it's not because I think he's creepy or gets in the way of a ship or anything most people automatically assume - he's just not my vibe. he simply doesn't fit in the scope of characters I enjoy.

and why is that wrong?? why do I need to be lectured at because of that?? when did fandoms get to a point that people aren't allowed to have differing opinions on a character or dislike a character just because? yes, a lot of the time it is, but it doesn't always need to be deeper than that.

YOU relate to that character on a deeper level, YOU understand their intrinsic motivations, or at least what you perceive them to be, and YOU love that character. fantastic!! I'm happy for you!! enjoying media in a way where you can do that is how it is meant to be!! but in absolutely no universe will everyone ever have the exact same interpretations of a character or piece of media. we all see different aspects of people and relate to things/characters differently. I've been on both sides of things! sometimes my favorite character in a show is someone that everyone else hates or doesn't care for, but I'm okay with that! if they disagree with me, then they disagree with me. I've done the deep dives into why I think the character acts the way they do and taken time to devote myself to better understanding them.

but some people just don't do that. you can be a fan of something without doing that with a character. hell, you can be a fan of something by only ever consuming the source material at its surface level and NEVER going deeper if you do not want to do so. it's allowed.

maybe while you're interpreting a character to have a deeper trauma that results in them acting the way they do, they're reminding someone else of trauma they went through and that character makes them feel bad. maybe you see someone trying to help, but someone else sees it as manipulation. maybe you see someone cold and bitter while someone else sees the kindest person with years of walls built up around them. maybe what someone else interprets as funny, you have never laughed at.

((if we're keeping with the dbd example, think about when the Night Nurse watched Charles' death. what she saw was the quick and utter devotion that Charles developed for Edwin and how deeply he cares for him; she's seeing that Charles will truly not give up in getting Edwin back from hell. what Charles saw was the pure kindness Edwin had done for him even after all those decades in the worst place imaginable; he's seeing who Edwin is on a deeper level. neither interpretations of the memory are incorrect. but after watching the exact same thing, they are thinking in two entirely different directions))

so why does everything seem to start off with "you're wrong" and "I'm sad for you because you just don't get it"? we should be HAPPY that there are people out there who take different approaches and have different interpretations. that is how media is meant to be consumed. and I'm not saying that you shouldn't make your long posts explaining why you love a character- by all means do that!! you understand something that others don't and that should be put out in the world!! but if you're going to do that you also need to understand that there are a lot of people who you WILL persuade, and there are a lot of people who you will NOT. don't be upset about that and certainly do not put down or lecture anyone who doesn't agree with you. it's OKAY. it is not the end of the world just because someone doesn't like a character you like.

everyone interprets media differently. and that's amazing.

[bonesandthebees]

Oh yeah, I honestly don’t get Cole as a character, like I liked him in the first few episodes and then his desicion making in 5 just makes no sense to me and ruined the character, but then they do the huge time jump so by that point even more of his character has shifted (and I don’t really get the point of him aside from being antagonistic. Which, there’s conflict enough without him).

And I think that thing that threw me off about the time skip is the fact that while they had been jumping in time already, I did not expect them to jump that far in one to (let alone at the start of an episode without transition, it felt like coming into an entirely new story) also I struggle to distinguish characters with similar features. All white guys with similar length brown hair look the same to me. Not because I can’t tell their faces apart, but because I forgot who is who. “Okay so this is a different guy now, but which one?”.

Tbf, I also liked the set up / opening of ep 6, but there were just too many new characters at once and I did not have the brain power to process that. So now I keep up entirely via the trending page on here when anew episode drops (which mainly gives me the gifsets of the good bits of each episode and people going insane about their favourite characters (+ cheering when certain male characters suffer the consequences of their actions). Other times I look at the family tree in horror. I looked away for 5 episode, HOW?!

P.s. I am very upset that the entire plot is basically pitting Rhaelicent against each other because they would have been so powerful together!

-🌲

for me cole is just epitome of a misogynistic 'nice guy' kind of guy. he supports rhaenyra because he's attracted to her and thinks they can be married, but the minute he learns that's not going to happen and that he can never be an equal to her because of her position as heir he turns bitter. I do agree that what he did to laenor's lover didn't make a ton of sense, but I interpreted it as a manifestation of cole's frustration/bitterness/jealousy over rhaenyra denying his proposal and marrying laenor + the guilt he feels about breaking his vows of celibacy for her only for it to be 'for nothing' (again, her denying his proposal). plus there was probably some good ol homophobia in there too knowing criston. often the men in this world don't really know how to channel emotions outside of committing acts of violence so that's just what I took it as.

very fair points about the timeskip. it's definitely jarring if you're not expecting it. and yeah after a certain point it can be difficult to distinguish everyone 😭

honestly keeping up via the trending tab works lol, sometimes it's just easier that way if you don't have the time/brain power to keep up with new episodes. but I will say the show itself is really good and if you ever do think about picking it back up to watch again it's very enjoyable. you get used to the huge family tree after a while 😭😭😭

you see to me that's what's so intriguing about rhaenicent. they would've been incredible together, but because of circumstance, the way they've been raised, and the patriarchal society they live in they're driven apart. the tragedy of their lost friendship/baby romance is at the core of so much of what's going on and is such an integral part for both their characters. the two of them are just so full of tragedy and grief and resentment for one another but the love is still there too as much as neither of them wants to acknowledge/admit it

[arcadekitten]

do you feel like people misinterpret your characters a lot?

Uhhh it depends!! I can definitely say I've seen misinterpretations of my characters, not to say that different interpretations are always WRONG but that sometimes I think people take my intentions with a character and twist them into the pre-conceived tropes that they're used to or how they frame them as much different from how they actually are.

I talk often about how I don't like people interpreting Mary as a non-adult. Even when they know she's an adult, there are people who still view her as being "like" a child and I think that's really frustrating, that because of her personality they won't take her seriously as an adult.

I also find that sometimes it's hard to write characters who are nice without people attributing that to "stupid". I said this in a post related to the above once, where I notice people will treat Dr. D. Light like he's stupid when he's just really nice and likes to joke around. Same goes for a character like Gunter, whose whole chapter in HFSH is about how he's nice because he wants to be and not because he's too "stupid" to act otherwise.

Cemetery Mary spoilers especially, I also feel like sometimes people act like Reginald is more "senseless murderer" than he actually is. His killings have a reason and he even says what it is, and yet I sometimes see people confused as to why he does it? (Also HFSH spoilers, but I sometimes see people call HFSH Reginald a murderer even though the game is pretty explicit about him not having killed anyone--which is equally confusing to me)

I've mentioned it before but I feel like sometimes people view Stella as too willfully evil, when she's really just trying to do what she thinks is the morally correct thing to do. Also--Zapara is a total pick-me girl and I feel like people ignore that quite often.

While misinterpretations of my characters can be frustrating, I always try to showcase who they truly are through my games and I think the games do a good job of showing that. So even when misinterpretations happen, I'm usually confident in being able to point back to the source material and be like "this is how they really are"

[comphetkoncass]

i think the biggest divide in fanon enjoyers and canon enjoyers is that there's a lot of hearsay and exaggeration on the fanon side, and it's frequently used to put down characters that canon enjoyers like.

certain headcanons and hurt/comfort bait are fan-favorites in fanon because they're tropey and easily digestible without thinking about it. they take popular character tropes from media at large (the hacker guy, the sensitive one, the sexy one) and reshape canon characters to fit into that trope more easily. but when canon enjoyers see these hcs pop up in our favorite character's tag, we're sort of left scratching our heads, because... well, that's not them. it's especially baffling when they take canon-adjacent scenes (sometimes even extremely compelling ones!) and reshape them to suit these fanon tropes. these often either didn't happen at all, or it didn't happen like that. all the context that makes the compelling scenes interesting to people that read it has been taken away and stripped of meaning, to repackage it as meaningful to people who haven't read it.

some of this also happens in the comics themselves, though. characters can be written as wildly ooc depending on the writer. sometimes they're made spicier and create needless drama, and other times they're made extremely bland and brand-friendly, taking away most of what made them compelling.

there's definitely some nuance here considering fanon and canon writers frequently do the same thing. and i'd hate to be more mad at fans who engage with this content for free, than the people who get paid to write some of the newer garbage.

at the same time though, fandom is clearly influencing canon. and for those of us who like certain characters who have gotten more and more bland and fandom-y... it kind of feels like the end of the road for us. because we can point to older, more consistent, more compelling characterization from older eras, 2 reboots ago. we can talk about how impactful and cool and moving our favorites were, back then. but they aren't like that anymore -- not in canon, and not in fan content. and myths get spread about them, or they're used as bland accessories that are a faint echo of relationships that used to matter but haven't in over a decade due to reboot shenanigans.

and that sucks.

and we frequently get painted as nags and killjoys for pointing out this stuff in fandom. when we say, "hey, that never happened. she literally never did that" or "hey, you might not know this, but due to weird canon shenanigans, that wasn't really them who did that awful thing, it was this other person pretending to be them" or "hey, X shouldn't be mad at Y for not being there, because Y was literally dead during this time" or "hey, if he's his love interest here, why doesn't he know anything about him?" it's seen as policing fandom.

we're really not trying to be killjoys. but it's pretty frustrating having these myths and misinformation and major mischaracterization spread when it's not true. especially when some of the myths and misinformation that get spread frequently overlap with sexist, racist, and ableist tropes.

even attempts at fixing dc's genuine issues with xenophobia tend to fall flat. and that's because because they frequently do this by giving more credence to the fanon interpretation of the character than how they were actually written.

gonna end this essay here, because i think i've said all i really feel about the issue.

but i truly don't hate all of fanon. i can enjoy a nice batfam hurt/comfort romp here and there. i know that every au is legitimately its own alternate universe and that's totally cool. it just gets to be pretty off-putting when these aus include characters that just... wouldn't do that shit. and people start believing that that's actually how these characters act.

[causesciencethatswhy]

ok honestly, how does this not sound like a jimin anti?

it’s funny that people’s first assumption is that jungkook lied to jimin just like how it was assumed he told jimin he was busy and not to go see him when jimin was the one who went to an event on jungkook’s birthday then went live.

all these times he could’ve gone to see jungkook if he was indeed doing nothing. but you are all just dying to have something to hate jk over.

and tbh this kind of annoys me about jikook and have for years, like they always downplay their (assumed) friendship. if you're best friends why not act like it? like honestly. makes it hard to defend their friendship when they themselves downplay it.

and idc about any sort of ~privacy argument, who the fuck is private about a friendship with their own member

also makes no sense for jimin to post that picture on instagram which was posted for FANS not for jungkook then for him to come on live and imply he hasn't seen jungkook because he's busy (when jungkook now said he wasn't).

he posted a pic to show they're close but then comes on live to imply the opposite? ok.

in the past they’d do or say something that would make it obvious how close they are (at least good friends) but not so much these days. i’m just tired of the weirdness.

i always said (to myself) if they were acting as proper best friends at least it would be easier for me to not be delusional. but are we really expected to believe that jimin would fly to the us for jk’s debut when he didn’t have to but he can’t make it on his bday when jk is doing nothing?

like he could’ve said he’ll go see him soon or something if he felt fans would call him out on them not meeting on jk’s bday for the first time since they’ve known each other?

why would he come on live repeating that it’s jk bday and fans should wish him a happy bday when he himself wouldn’t go see him when that makes no sense? it’s just��annoying.

them pretending the us trip never happened when it’s right in front of us and everyone knows about it, them also pretending jk never did the bg vocals on letter like why?

did jimin not give jk a copy of face or is he keeping it somewhere else for some unknown reason?

jimin refusing to do a live for who knows what reason but now he wants to copy the kind of lives jk has been doing. none of this weirdness ever happens with any of the members.

and I knew for a fact when jimin showed his flat all the tkkers will try to push dating rumours. so if he wants to do more lives we have that to look forward to even more. yay🙄

Look anon, Mimi had addressed all of this when they had written these posts already with explanations of what they intended. As they've said before their frustration was geared towards the expected reaction to jkks words from the fandom (which was always to downplay their relationship) which seeped into their interpretation of jkk. Yeah, it could have been worded better but it was written in a heated moment, something they're already aware of.

Whether we like to admit it or not, staying hyper aware of fandom discourse can colour how we interact with the members and their words and the anticipation of the discourse that'll steep out of it can sometimes makes us almost hold it against the member themselves than the group of rabid fans hellbent on twisting their words. I still remember when I was at a point where I got frustrated with Tae a while back because the expected discourse from his words bothered me more than the actual words he was saying. It's where we have to catch ourselves when dealing with something like parasocial relationships where boundaries between fan reaction and interaction are so murky.

As someone who has talked to mimi about everyone jkk I can say confidently say they're the farthest thing from a j/m anti and love him very thoroughly. If you think otherwise you're free to block them and myself, instead of exposing yourself to content which you know makes you mad.

[callofdudes]

Is it okay if i share a lil rant? If not then feel free to ignore this!

So lately on twitter (X) there has been numerous commentaries/complaints from the same account named makarovmw or just Владимир Макаров as in user. They're essentially a porn addict like account that has been going around on multiple posts that sometimes talk about GhostSoap, their interpreted sexualities by various fans and this person has just been unhinged to say that least, arguing with others because they deem that 99% of the fanbase is all about GhostSoap, and how there is a lack of erotic sexy Ghost x Female OCs/YNs/readers. They essentially blame and insult people by calling them out that "just because I don't like Ghost x male doesn't mean i are homophobic" as per their words, whereas the understones they've been going on with their consistent whining gives me the exact opposite idea. Don't get me wrong i am a massive GhostSoap lover AND i also enjoy pairing Ghost with fem OCs and readers but i never went out of my way harassing and demanding that people bring out more Ghost x fem content, this porn addict of a person takes it to another level really. But the moment they said that Ghost would look hot with Milena all just to spite Soap i stopped taking them seriously. 😭

Hope this ain't too much but yeah, beware of some CoD "fans" y'all, they'll attack you unprovoked and unwarranted.

Ah yes, I believe I saw the post about what they said with Milena. And honestly I just hate it. Porn in and of itself has caused massive problems for both genders. Massive, massive problems.

I was around the fandom when GhostSoap was just a little ship and it wasn't as terribly hyped as it is now, but new people in the fandom are just... What the fuck.

I enjoy GhostSoap, but demanding work (as it sounds) from people or getting mad they can't find some very specific thing to get off to that no one else wants to make.

The way the brain works when people get deep into porn, or even just surface level, is they find something that interests them. Whatever that may be. And they stick with that for a bit until that same thing gets boring and they look for something else they could deam as exciting. It's really just a bottomless pit of sadness and it ruins a lot of lives.

Which consequently, when they get to the place where they need really taboo, lower produced things to stimulate them, they start to act like this. Getting angry and frustrating and demanding because there's one specific little thing that no one wants to do but they just need something. So they'll explode about it and make their predicament everyone's problem.

Now, some people are just assholes, this person is both. But porn has truly ruined us and ruins the brain.

Coming out in relationships as well where porn addicts have to think about something they watched when being with a partner because they can't be stimulated by regular passion and love. It's all lust and comes out in the form of anger and frustration when they can't act like a normal human being anymore.

If that person is looking for crazy stuff they shouldn't be going around Twitter (X) harassing people about it.

So yeah, those are kind of my whole thoughts. People are crazy and when it comes to things like this, the chronically being online and porn are to blame.

People don't get consequences on the Internet as much so they think they can do whatever they want. And artists putting their beautiful work of what they want to create out into the world does not mean that anyone other than themselves or someone commissioning them is entitled to their time and their resources.

Also, don't feel afraid to come rant, I also want to scream into the void like this but ranting to people sometimes gets it out nicely.

Keep supporting artists and don't be psychos ghostsoapers ♥️

[tuiyla]

btw, do you already dislike Xander? I'm kinda hoping you're going to start writing rants about how much he sucks lmao, but tbf his worst moments are yet to come. I also hope you'll end up hating another male character that most people love, much to my chagrin.

Alright! No more letting this ask sit. Anon, I hope you're around and doing well because we're finally gonna talk about Xander Harris.

I wanted to answer this at different points during my Buffy journey and now, towards the end of season 5, I have to say that... Xander's fine. I totally get where your hope comes from, my notorious Finn posts and all and though I'll get into aspects of Xander I dislike in a moment, I'm afraid I can't be the manhater you need on this occasion. From what I've seen though he's not that well-loved? In my limited experience anyway. So the Finn Hudson effect doesn't apply in that sense, either.

Where I would be frustrated with Xander in similar ways I am about Finn's ch is that sometimes he is framed in an annoying way. He never gets even just called out for lying to Buffy at the end of season 2 or acting like a major asshole in 3x02. All the Scoobies are coming at Buffy there, sure, but none with such vehemence and in such a self-righteous way. Self-righteous hypocrites really piss me off. Had I answered this at the start of season 3 I probably would have been much harsher on Xander than I'm gonna be now. His Angel hatred was so irrational and not worthy of an "I told you so" upon Angelus' turn and it's irritating how entitled he is to Buffy's decisions. Not to mention, I don't care if him sulking about Buffy's rejection is realistic teen boy behaviour, it's tedious and embarrassing. She made it clear that she was not interested and Xander was such an ass about it. His crush on Buffy was a pain to get through and frankly, I don't think Xander deserved either of the girls he's been with since. Cordelia most definitely not and I think Anya deserves better, too, because she's genuinely devoted whereas it really feels like Xander's with her just because it's convenient for him.

His latest really, really annoying moment was his Riley speech to Buffy but honestly I'm just so glad Riley's gone so I'm gonna swiftly move past that. Whatever, Xander tried helping Buffy and luckily she was too late to act on his advice. What stupid advice, anyway, as if Riley was one in a million. Hon, he was literally the 999,999 in a million.

And I said I wouldn't go hard on the guy, huh? Lmao well that was pretty much the list of my grievances. In general? Xander's... fine. He's not gonna be my favourite Scooby in any scenario, no way, but I think since mid-season 3 he's been a lot more tolerable and even enjoyable on occasion. He does feel sort of useless at times but that's acknowledged and a part of his journey so I appreciate that. I don't fully buy into him being the Heart of the group as that position is something that I hold precious, see Katara in ATLA. And no way Xander can even touch what someone like Katara represents within her group dynamic. But I also see that being the Heart is mostly about courage here, loyalty, and as much as he makes mistakes I gotta give Xander that.

Even in that interpretation I struggle with the guy because a) he does have these icky sexist moments that are just not funny and they're meant to be and b) he's not... that full of heart. I just think pettiness gets in the way too often and, compared to someone like Willow's flaws his are more annoying and in general, more. He's not quite the Nice Guy syndrome because he is general a genuinely good friend to Buffy and the others but I wish he wasn't such a teen boy. Or, if he was, cause ya know they unfortunately do exist, that he was framed just a little more critically. I get that that's too much to ask of Whedon's late 90s feminism but it would make Xander an easier character to vibe with. I mean, I'm guessing there must be a reason I had zero idea about his existence prior to watching the show but had a vague idea of most other Scoobies. I knew so many things about Willow and was aware of chs like Oz, Cordy and Tara, but I was half-expecting Xander to only last a season or two. Because surely, if he was there for the whole show I would have heard people talk about him already.

So, yeah, it might not sound like it because I more so talked about the negatives than positives but I don't hate Xander by any means. He's not frustrating enough to be loathed or ranted about but he's also not nearly engaging enough to be on the level of the other Scoobies. He has his moments, though, and more often than not I find myself enjoying Xander-centric episodes. Soooo... is that anything? I hope I don't disappoint but now that I'm at the end of season 5 maybe you can share more about your Xander thoughts, I'd be happy to listen.