#it's just been in my drafts 🧍

[tiresomespaceplant]

moonlight

[blkwag]

why

[grapefives]

REVÓLVER SEXUAL | HC

supernova trio x gn!reader (separately)

very light angst + implied nsfw + hispanic/latin reader + past fat shaming + insecurities + fluff + mentioned past unhealthy mechanisms

a/n: totally not self indulging. this has been in my drafts for a year LMAO please like 🧍🏻‍♀️

૮ ּ ۟ monkey d. luffy ׅ ۫ ✧

when you first joined the crew, luffy KNEW you had some sort of trouble with food

you were so hesitant of EVERYTHING that he found himself insisting and making sure you ate well, along with sanji

“y/n, eat more.” you felt like he was your MOM.

you could hear the “estas muy flac@” from your family members or the “ni que estuvieras a dieta” from your mother

but it was so HARD to say no to luffy, captain or not.

you still didn’t have a healthy relationship with food, and still felt a little guilty if you found yourself eating more than you FELT like you should’ve

sometimes you’d go all day without eating until luffy drags you for dinner, it’s not that you did it intentionally, you just don’t find it in you to eat

honestly, it worried luffy but he never really commented on it

all he would do is make sure you at least ate

but when you would play with your food more than eat or even just stare at the plate before you, he would frown and actually force feed you

“Y/N YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG AND HEALTHY SO WE CAN BEAT EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT WAY!”

yet, one day he finds out you literally had an issue with eating, you had mentioned it to chopper and he just happened to overhear

then it clicked why you were always squirmy during intimacy

and WITHOUT FAIL, to your surprise, he started being reassuring to you

he’s always a sweetheart with you, your hype man regardless but this time you knew his intentions were for you to understand you shouldn’t worry about your physical appearance

his eyes were ten times more tender outside the bedroom

yet, when it came to intimacy he was like a hungry animal— kissing, biting and grabbing. it had taken you aback at how specific he was being, but you still melted into him

he made you forget the voices that would say “hide that” or “don’t let him notice” but he made sure you understood that he’ll love you regardless of what you think

and he’s an eater

he’ll eat you up. always.

૮ ּ ۟ trafalgar d. law ׅ ۫ ✧

he’s a DOCTOR. man’s knows when someone is off.

he mistook your lack of interest in food for a stomach bug, genuinely concerned and forcing you to take pills and medicine

lowkey made you feel bad and ashamed to the point you came clean

medical confidentiality right?

😭 the face he gave you!!

“it’s unhealthy to neglect vital nutrients to your body.”

very stern about your meal intake, takes it upon himself to make sure you eat what you can stomach at first and make sure you grow comfortable with both him and food

he’s sweet really, just shows it in private

he literally sits you down and asks you what you would like for your body, because if you have any concerns then you MUST attend them CORRECTLY

no more unhealthy mechanisms

and he falls even more in love when you seem more radiant, more confident.

he’d come up from behind always and just plant a warm, wet kiss on your ear before whispering a compliment on your appearance

he made you feel like no one else’s opinion mattered anymore.

literally it didn’t matter if people commented on your weight, the results you were having made you feel confident

he was definitely surprised when you’d initiate intimacy, when you’d devour him like a starving animal

“someone’s hungry,” he teased once, but when you had paused, he realized his wording must have affected you

he low key panics and stutters out an apology but you smirk at him

“for once i don’t feel guilty for eating-“ and you devour his heart and soul too

૮ ּ ۟ eustass kid ׅ ۫ ✧

i’m sorry but this doofus was really oblivious about it until killer pointed it out

he was so mad at himself. how dare he not see your issue with food?? he thought you gave him your leftovers out of love!!

dude he’s like, an insensitive giant thinking he’s being helpful

it made sense of why you were always trying to put off intimacy or why you’d try to make him see less of you

“i don’t give a damn about how you look. why would i care?” he asks.

in his head he was being sweet and saying “i love you just the way you are.”

but it made you feel like shit

you were already struggling with feeling right with yourself, and he comes and says he doesn’t care? maybe you’re being sensitive but even that made you feel worse

it felt like you’ll never be enough for anyone, even eustass.

you never felt like you mattered, but growing up your weight put labels on you. you grew up with insults being used as nicknames, yet you felt like eustass saw you as nothing

“why aren’t you eating?” he asks when he notices you still aren’t developing a good eating habit, some days you eat well and others you either overeat or don’t eat at all

“does it matter?” you huff.

“i give a damn when you could get sick!”

“you said you don’t give a damn about how i look, so shut up about what i do.” you growl.

“eh? when did i say that!? you need to eat!” he huffs.

“well no thank you.”

you ignore him and he has to corner you in your room to get you to pay him any mind

his interrogations fall deaf in your ears as he cages you under him on your bed

“if i don’t matter to you get out,” you blurt out.

“what are you talking about? when have i made you feel like you don’t matter to me.”

“you know i’m struggling and you just- you just said you don’t give a damn about how i look!”

“because i don’t! does it have to matter? i love you for you! pirates seek out people for their bodies and for their own pleasures! i’m with you because i love you for who you are!”

“and i am not saying you’re ugly or whatever it is you think i think!” he beats you to every argument.

and then he goes on to show you PHYSICALLY what he means. not like, harsh or anything. you’ve never felt so precious under his care before, he kissed you so tenderly.

he didn’t make you feel fragile, like something that could break in a bad way

he made you understand how he sees you as more as his partner- as an extension of his soul, his missing piece

“i’ll make sure you never feel like that again, as long as you’re with me, you’ll be more valuable than a poneglyph. whatever you struggle with, i’ll help you through it.”

your confidence went up, because honestly he’s brutally honest and many people take what the captain says seriously; yet you knew he’s never lie to you

at the end of the day, what your lover says is what matters to you.

[faeryarchives]

in sickness and in health

knowing that being the only student aside from grim in such dormitory, it's hard to take care and clean the place while you are sick and grim is panicking in the corner crying and asking them if you were dying or something so it's time for your lover to do something! note: this has been in my drafts since last year so if there is a prompt similar to mine it is pure coincidence + this is pretty long

recent fics: when your hopeless streamer gets a girlfriend (ace x reader) & don't lose me, not yet & its you, it always has been you

-‘๑’- tried to cook and clean for you but ends up in a disaster: everything was going well bc they got a list on what to do because they came prepared and ready to help! but it all became blurry but somehow them getting in the kitchen to cook made you rise from the grave (aka from bed) not risking fire hazard today 👋 picking up a broom? they know how to use one to clean of course but it ends up piling the dust near you causing you to cough some more because they keep colliding with grim who is trying to help 😔 they deserve an award for trying their best 👩🏻‍⚖️ while they weren't allowed in the kitchen, they try telling you of stories that happened while you were absent in attempt to help you get better until you fall asleep listening + leaving a kiss on your forehead before going back to their dorm to ask help or tips on what to cook for you to get better 🤍

— riddle roseheart, deuce spade, KALIM AL ASIM, rook hunt, lilia vanrouge

-‘๑’- scolds you for overworking yourself while taking care of everything: they are going to appear at your doorsteps in complete personal protective equipment with alcohol spray and a basket full of cooked food inside ... well maybe most of them would + expect some nagging from them like you shouldn't neglect yourself just to take care of others because that's not how it works love 🤬 ! even though they appear strict they are still soft when it comes to you asking them for something like giving them a hug (they would probably not do it though) or asking for seconds 🧚‍♀️ + reluctantly sings you a lullabye and after you fall asleep they would finally let down their tough persona + sit next to your bed holding your hand in theirs and caress your head, you are a tough cookie right? so go beat the sickness out of your system because they already miss your company

— jade leech, jamil viper, VIL SCHOENHEIT

-‘๑’- having a crisis: its either they never get sick or doesn't know how to take care of someone who is sick 😷 don't even joke about you dying because of your fever because it will just cause more panic please be easy on them 😭 but they will try to ask their close friends on what to do and they will do it very carefully (bonus if you were the one helping them) and they are actually good at it justtt very confused if they are doing it correctly + type to note down any changes in your fever whether it got better or worse 📝 they will shower you with things that would make you feel better - feeling cold? you can find yourselves being wrapped like a sushi with two thick blankets. feeling lonely? he knows he cannot be that near to you so he will shower you with plushies from who knows where! they won't leave until you are up and healthy again even if it means staying at ramshackle and even tending to grim

— sebek zigvolt, azul ashengrotto, IDIA SHROUD, malleus draconia

-‘๑’- gets sick with you: they know you are sick but they couldn't resist you asking for cuddles 🧍🏻‍♀️at first they would be like "no are you crazy, i don't want to get sick" but after the second one, they find themselves right next to you being the lucky plush toy for the day 🫂 will occasionally try to feed you and make you take your medicine and even alarming every 4 hours to drink but will ultimately result to the two of you falling asleep until grim wakes you up around night time realizing now TWO OF YOU are now sick 🤒 took the couple goals to the next level so expect them to be clingy because nothing is stopping them from cuddling you when he is also sick 🧍🏻‍♀️ it ends up with either trey, ruggie or jade nursing the two of you back to health 😭

— ace trappola, cater diamond, leona kingscholar, floyd leech

-‘๑’- does it perfectly: they had done it before and they will do it again 👯‍♀️ they are pretty used to taking care of someone because sometimes their family members would get sick and they are also the one taking care of them + read parenting 101 atp 🫂 being familiar in the field, they could even task grim in the way he would understand like taking note of your temp and check if it is time for your meds while your lover would go and cook meals suitable for your situation and i think they wouldn't really be so hard on you because being sick is normal and you are just human after all 🤍 instead they would focus on making you feel bettter and believe me you ARE SPOILED ROTTEN 🥺 they would probably tease you with things you can't eat but will give you just a tiny bit and will promise to give you everything when you are feeling better 😍 they are the type that will ask your classmates what they have done during your absence and collect your notes for you so just focus on healing 🫶

— epel felmier, silver, trey clover, ruggie bucchi, jack howl

[saintslewis]

❝ 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐀 ❞

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 | 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc - Nadia Hamilton

summary: a rainy day in the South of France has put you two closer than you would think.

warnings: outfit descriptions, cussing, suggestive gestures, pet names, links to visuals, a bit of smau (i’ll make a separate chapter for that 😭)

saint’s team radio 🎀: hey y’all, Nadia misses you guys! Sorry I took forever with this, it was a lot on my plate along with a whole lotta drafts that i made up 🧍🏽‍♀️ i love you guys 🥹 LEWDIA IS BACK!!!

renaissance: the masterlist • pots: social media

tags are down below! (let me know if you want to be tagged!)

fc: @/unclewaffles_ on ig!

pics are from ig and pinterest

-

It’s 8 am and Nadia couldn’t feel any lighter, a smile painted on her face as she descended down the stairs of her LA home.

Vanilla and cinnamon scented candles were lit around the living room along with the kitchen area, clean and ready for the amazing breakfast she was going to make for when Lewis woke up. The satin pyjamas smelled like his cologne and surprisingly, she felt refreshed after a wild night out with her friends.

Except it wasn’t 8 am on a Sunday morning.

“Are my earrings too loud?” Nadia exclaimed, holding her ears as she stood in front of Amara who was leaning on the Jeep she and Miles came in.

“What?” Amara slurred and giggled right after with her eyes barely open.

“You can’t hear them?” She shook her head, feeling her head sway much faster than it actually did.

Amara just laughed out loud at Nadia’s confusion. “Tinkerbell, they’re veeeeery quiet.” She managed to get her words out, her eyes barely open.

When Nadia is high, she’s a very special person. Her curiosity skyrockets and she can hold a conversation for hours about literally anything. How she got to this point was just 40 minutes before, she had asked for something sweet because she had a sour taste in her mouth and Amara just so happened to give her 2 edibles.

Miles had suggested that they all head home and the girls get some air from being the packed party. The Jeep luckily had an open roof for the cool air and the boys just watched the exchange between Nadia and Amara, laughing at almost everything they said.

“I really want pancakes. Oh! Pookie bear, can we make pancakes when we get home?” Nadia expressed her excitement when she thought of the idea although not knowing the time. All Lewis did was smile at the eager girl, holding onto his coat just in case she felt cold.

“Brotha, just as a me and you talk. How you feelin since Nadia came into your life?” Miles asked, crossing his arms as he watched the two women laugh at a bug on the window shield.

Taking a breath, Lewis began. “It’s been fun having someone around, I won’t lie. She had a whole life before me and I feel guilty watching her change her life around to help me with my image. I think she sees this as a friendship and I wouldn’t put it past her to not. She’s a breath of fresh air.” He spoke.

“Just wanna point out you did not look at me the entire time you said all that.” Miles laughed, earning an eye roll from his friend. “But it is very nice to hear you speak about someone like this. Nads is a brilliant one, so I’ve heard from the grapevine.” The tall man nodded as he talked.

“The grapevine being Amara?” Lewis teased which earned him a push on the arm. “Shush. Anyways, she went to Cambridge then Oxford and she’s a teacher. If you fuck this up, Carl Davidson, you’ll be hearing from my lawyers.” Miles pointed at Lewis who just took everything in.

“Who knows? She could’ve had a line of people waiting for her but she wanted to help you out of the goodness of her heart, dealing with your stubborn ass. My point is me and the crew already love her and her personality so please.” He concluded, making the “i’m watching you” gesture and they both laughed.

“Let me go make those pancakes and I’ll let you know.” Lewis chuckled at the thought of making pancakes with Nadia at 11 pm, mere hours before they have to leave for Monaco.

Eventually getting the women into the car and them immediately requesting to play music and sing their hearts out, the group drove off into the nighttime and it wasn’t long until they reached the Los Angeles home.

“Bye Mars, bye fencer.” Nadia exclaimed, dragging out the last letter of their given nicknames. The jeep drove out of the large gates and the two walked to the front door with held hands, mainly to keep Nadia from tripping on her own two feet. Once in the house, Lewis could tell that she was about to head for the kitchen first but he held her hand much tighter which made her whine out.

“But the pancakes, Lew.” She whined as he pulled her in front of her. “I know, Nads. Let’s just take our shoes off before we go make them.” He smiled, watching as she leaned herself on the hallway wall with her eyes staring daggers into his.

“You’re no fun.” Nadia rolled her eyes but she could feel her body tingling as he continued to hold intense eye contact with her.

“Wanna repeat that?” Lewis smirked and she shook her head, feeling her high slip away a little as Nadia felt all the emotions.

Kneeling down, Lewis put his hand out to her legs so that she could get her slightly stained shoes off. With each antagonising minute that passed, she watched the man gently take her shoes off and neatly putting them next to the wall but what truly sat with her was how close he was to where her daydreams led her to.

“Thank you.” Nadia whispered out to him, watching him stand to his full height. “No problem, sweetie.” He winked and linked his hand with hers once again, seeing how gone she was, the plan of making pancakes out the window.

Going upstairs, reality started becoming clearer the closer she got to the top step. As nervous as she was, Nadia wanted something without her being the first one to make the first move. “Could you help me with my corset?” She blurted out, ignoring the butterflies flying around her stomach.

“Lead the way.” Lewis moved to the side to allow her to enter her room first. Thankful she left it clean, she slowly walked to the en suite bathroom with him following her closely behind. The mirror reflection showed him with his hands in his pockets, the coat long forgotten downstairs. Her breath hitched when she made eye contact with him through the mirror, her hands holding onto the edge of the bathroom counter.

To try and ignore the rising tension between them, Nadia played a little with her hair and Lewis took this as an opportunity to really drink her in. Every item she wore sat on her body so well, her jewellery shining representing her personality. He internally thanked the universe for bringing such a woman into his life, watching her fidget about and eventually finding a claw clip for the wig she wore.

Nadia raised her hands to attempt to take the jewels off but he reached out first, standing dangerously close to her and she could feel his fingers graze the back of her neck with goosebumps rising on her skin. It didn’t take long until Lewis gently placed the accessories on the marble counter and took a step back but she wished he stayed longer behind her, it felt all too right.

“You really shouldn’t look at people like that.” Nadia muttered, taking off her bracelets next. “So I shouldn’t appreciate my wife just existing?” Lewis smirked, his hands now behind his back.

“Said the same thing back at the party, white boy didn’t even know.” She smiled at the memory, deciding to take off her makeup before taking the corset off also just to keep Lewis in her company a little longer.

“Sweetie, he knew. Pretty sure he watched you for a while before he did that stunt.” He said, watching intently how she took her makeup off.

Scoffing a bit, she dragged the damp cotton ball across her eye. “Stunt? Dare I say you sound a lil jealous, Sir.” She chuckled. Lewis didn’t respond, he just kept his eyes on her and watched her try to shy away from the intense look he was giving her with a small smile on his face.

“You looked really good today.” He complimented. One thing Nadia didn’t want to show was how easy it was for her to fold at his words but she couldn’t help it. “Boy, you’re over here making me blush.” She gave him a smile through the mirror, appreciating the way their friendship was going.

Lewis shrugged. “Glad it was me and not that white boy.” He rolled his eyes and got a loud laugh out of her as she was dabbing her face with a small towel. “I knew you were jealous!”

“Yeah yeah.” Now it was his turn to shy away so that Nadia couldn’t see the growing smile on his face.

“Can you break down this upcoming week for me? I won’t hold you, I’m super nervous.” She asked, turning around to face him then leaning on the counter.

“We’ll be staying at home this week, first thing. Might get my hair done in time for Versace then the rest of the week is prep for the race weekend.” He spoke, scratching his head afterwards.

“I sent Tia some ideas for your outfit and she went ahead and got it, she said it’ll be in Monaco by the time we get there. She also said it’s hella bougie over there so I need to up my game this week.” Nadia said then nodded afterwards.

The two conversed about everything she could possibly expect from the Monaco Grand Prix weekend and how wild it could get. As promised, he had helped her with her corset clips and choosing to ignore that they could cut the tension with a knife.

They said good night to each other quite awkwardly before heading to bed.

Baby steps, Nadia thought.

iMessage!

The girlies 🫦

nads: i won’t lie to you guys, we had a moment

charlotte (not tilbury) : LEWDIA IS HAPPENING???

personal pillow amara: FINALLY also how are you not high out of your mind?

nataliaaaa: you got tinkerbell high?

charlotte (not tilbury): can we focus on the two lovebirds pls !!!

charlotte (not tilbury): you’re not off the hook amara 🤨

nads: my high disappeared SO QUICK but it felt so real, i blushed

nataliaaa: tink, i’m going to need you to STAND UP. it’s damn near 1 am ‼️

nads: sorry 😭 just wanted to update my girls but i’ll def tell you the deets in monaco if you guys are coming?

personal pillow amara: unfortunately i have work so i’ll miss so much iconic shit 😔

charlotte (not tilbury): oh no 😔 i’ll definitely fill up my phone storage for you mars x

nataliaaa: mars, we got you 🫵🏽. now let’s get some sleep before our flight!

three people liked this message!

(+44) 34 - *** - ****

yo nads, it’s cench

nadia: what do you want

central cee (unfort.): so me and dave are heading to mons this week for the race and what not

nadia: so what’s that got to do with me

central cee (unfort.): c’mon don’t be like that

nadia: girl wtf do you want

central cee (unfort.): we shootin that weekend so we had the brilliant plan that you could be in the vid 😁

nadia: bye cench, don’t annoy me this week. tell dave i said hi though

central cee (unfort.): nads 🧍🏽‍♂️

nadia: AHT AHT you lost the privilege to call me that after that little stunt you tried to pull in front of my boys

central cee (unfort.): it was for the beta squad vid

nadia: go talk to the wall. bye.

central cee (unfort.) has been blocked!

-

MONTE CARLO, MONACO

In Europe, it’s always raining somewhere and today, Mother Nature chose Monaco to spread her showers.

The pair had landed a few hours earlier, crashing into their beds after a quick penthouse tour which left Nadia speechless. A well deserved nap later, soft music played from the house speakers and vanilla scented incense wafted through the air while she looked through the kitchen for ingredients for pancakes, also making sure they hadn’t gone past the expiry date.

Although it was raining outside, it wasn’t as cold inside. Satisfied with how the first pancake came out, she continued pouring a bit of the batter into the pan. “Maybe I should melt some chocolate.” She muttered to herself, biting the edge of her nail while rotating the pan around.

Lewis couldn’t help but look at his wife in admiration once again, everything about her was endearing to him. He knew she was different from anyone he’d been with, despite the obvious that she wasn’t famous. He appreciated her showing her personality from the moment anyone meets her, the genuine feelings she expresses to everything and her support.

Not to mention her reactions to anything he buys for her, he loves the smile that spreads across her face when she sees something she likes and he wants to keep that smile there forever.

“It smells good in here, chef.” Lewis spoke, leaning on the kitchen counter and watched her prepare their pancakes. Nadia flinched at the sound of his voice, not expecting him to wake up anytime soon.

“You’re going to give me a heart attack one day, pookie.” Nadia said, pointing the spatula in his direction. Sliding the cooked pancakes in his direction for taste test, she continued making the others.

“I still wanna melt some chocolate so go right ahead and tell me what you think.” She informed, not realising that he had not once glanced at the food in front of him. “I’ll wait up for you to finish so that we can eat together.” Lewis spoke, going as far as to lean his head on his hand.

Turning to face him, she put her hand on her hip. “I wanna wash the dishes before I eat, it’s one of the weird things I do.”

“I’ll help. Looks like we’ve got more in common than we thought.”

With Nadia drying off the dishes, Lewis stuck to washing duty and it would’ve been a fairly quick process if the two didn’t sing all the songs that came up. “Damn you can sing sing! Might make you sing for me every day.” She joked, drying off the last bowl used for chocolate chips and moved around the spacious kitchen to put it away.

“Whatever you say, Nads.” Lewis cleaned up the sink then turn to watch her struggle to put the bowl back because the cupboard was too high.

Deciding to help her, he held her waist and hoisted her up then helped her down, the two gazing at each other afterwards. There was that tension again, one step from either of them and their chests would be touching.

Neither had made any move to look elsewhere, getting lost in each other’s eyes. Choosing to be bold, Lewis dragged his eyes to her plump moisturised lips, waiting for something to happen. Anything.

The doorbell ringing is what brought them out of their moment, both looking at the front door as if they had been caught. Hooking her finger to his infamous pearl necklace, Lewis could barely comprehend her lips on the corner of his mouth. A quick peck and her lipgloss now transferred onto him.

“I’ll go get it.” Nadia smirked then gave the shocked man a wink, moving to head to the front door, revealing Tia carrying two Versace bags. “Am I interrupting somethin here?” Tia voiced out before entering the penthouse.

“Hello to you, Tia.” Nadia greeted, closing the front door and following behind.

“I’ve got your outfits for tomorrow!”

-

“It’s way too early for this shit but but I look good that’s all that matters.” Nadia spoke to herself, spraying the last bit hairspray to the back of her head then adding one last hairpin.

Fixing her dress afterwards, she stared at herself in the mirror and was extremely happy with her choice. She was more than curious to see how Lewis’ outfit came about since she was given the opportunity to style him.

The theme for this event was all black while Donatella Versace and Dua Lipa’s vision was for the runway outfits to be the stars of the show. Going through fashion blogs and archives late at night when she couldn’t sleep, she made sure she built up a good enough outfit to add to her portfolio.

Nadia knew his braider came over this morning whilst she was styling her own wig and she was excited to see the finished product on him. Seeing her Louboutins waiting to be worn on the floor, she decided to make him take photos of her before they left.

Lifting her dress in order for her to not trip on it, Nadia walked to the main bedroom knowing very well that he was there because she could hear his footsteps. “Pookie, could you take some photos of me before we leave. I want to make…sure….” Nadia couldn’t finish her sentence as the man she was looking for walked out of his closet adjusting the black shirt he wore.

“Damn.” She whispered lowly but he had heard her and her previous request. The all black outfit accentuated his physique along with the tailored pants. On anyone else, the outfit wouldn’t be as exciting but on him, it had a completely different style to it. Very minimal jewellery but goodness did it work with the outfit.

“You look gorgeous, Nads. Extremely gorgeous.” Lewis complimented, fixing his watch. She didn’t want to show that the compliment got to her but her pursed lips and high cheekbones were a result of it. “Thank you, Lew.” She voiced.

Eventually, the pair had taken all the pictures they could before leaving. The show had been a success, Donatella had absolutely adored Nadia and how she presented herself to the fashion world. Lewis stood back and watched as she met so many people with such grace and kindness, networking without even realising. Not to mention Dua Lipa going crazy upon finally meeting Nadia, only ever interacting online. Best believe most of the garments were already being sent to Nadia’s doorstep.

-

With Friday quickly approaching, Nadia sat in the passenger seat of the sf90, texting her younger cousin who finally arrived in the uk the day before. The tension from earlier on in the week was still present but it was masked up with their friendship. Both had tried to distract themselves from it by spending time away from each other; Nadia with the other wags and Lewis with Miles and Spinz but it only got worse because of the space.

The traffic that day was awful but they had somehow gotten to the paddock in time. The atmosphere in Monaco was buzzing with excitement and people were everywhere donning their merch and waiting for their favourite driver to arrive. As always, the Mercedes garage was full with tons more celebrities than there were in Miami.

Spending most of her time with Charlotte, Nadia gathered up the courage to tell her about everything going on with a certain UK rapper. “Wait wait. So he’s still pining for you or what?” The blonde held Nadia’s hands across the table at the Paddock Club, overlooking the garages.

“I rejected him when he tried the first time. We continued being acquaintences until now, I guess. Mind you, this man basically asked if I wanted to be a video vixen.” Nadia rolled her eyes at the whole thing.

“The audacity of this man.” Charlotte said with a disgusted expression. She looked behind Nadia for a moment, watching this person walk closer and closer to them.

“Nads?”

“Yeah?”

“You said he wears a ‘23’ chain?”

“Uh huh…”

“Let’s go, he’s coming over here but he’s distracted right now.” Jumping out of her seat, Charlotte grabbed Nadia’s hand and quickly lead her out to the ever-busy paddock. “Damn, Lottie. Warn a girl next time.” Nadia chuckled as they slowed down and walked leisurely, practice not starting until an hour’s time.

Talking about anything that came to mind, Nadia had accidentally bumped into someone’s shoulder, immediately apologising until she saw who stood in front of her with a gigantic smile on his face.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” He apologised, several Portuguese words following right after. Neymar Jr opted to continue staring at Nadia, all his focus on the woman in front of him. “It’s okay, I’m Nadia Hamilton. Nice to meet you.” She smiled, still holding onto Charlotte’s hand very tightly.

“Ah! Lewis’ wife! I must say you are very beautiful.” Neymar spoke and just like that, Nadia’s smile slightly faltered. “Right! This is Charlotte, my close friend.” She introduced the two to each other but he had his eyes on his friend’s wife.

“You know I never thought I would meet you. I wanted to ask Lewis but as always, he’s busy.” Neymar was trying and Nadia thought it was an adorable attempt. Within the span of a second, Lewis appeared behind Neymar on his scooter, with such a dark look in his eyes.

Charlotte squeezed Nadia’s hand once more to pay attention to her surroundings and once she did, she locked eyes with the man of the hour.

The girls watched as Lewis interacted with Neymar as if he didn’t just look at him in such a way that brought chills down their spines. “I see you’ve met Char and my wife, Nads.” The driver turns to them, reaching to embrace Nadia with Charlotte immediately catching the drift and texting the girls about it.

On the outside, this interaction looked all too friendly with old friends catching up just before Lewis has to get out on track. The look in Lewis' eyes said it all and Nadia couldn’t help but be entertained. Watching the thirsty footballer walk away in defeat and Charlotte running away to go tell Miles and Spinz everything, the pretend couple stood right by his scooter with cameras clearly pointing at them.

Keeping his arm around her shoulders, he leaned down to her ear. “You know you have cameras following your every move,right? You think that was a nice move, princess?” He spoke and she felt the vibrations of his voice travel down her body, resisting the urge to cross her legs.

“No…” She replied.

“Also your little rapper friend came around looking for you. Says he’s shooting for his music video.” He lifted his head to make it look like he was having a normal conversation when in reality, she was anticipating everything coming out of his mouth.

“And what did you say?” She asked, lowering her glasses from her head, following his direction. “Told him to have fun, it’s Monaco after all.” He smirked, he was enjoying this way too much.

All she could do was nod. The last thing she wanted was for that man to meet Lewis and now he’s taken it upon himself to go above himself and Lewis was entertaining it all.

On one of the huge screens right by the grandstands, the camera man made sure to keep the camera on them but Lewis on one step ahead of him. “Smile for the camera, Mrs Hamilton.” He quietly said with a smirk, patting her lower back and that brought goosebumps on her skin.

She smiled the best way she could, showing off her tooth gems.

What the hell? Nadia thought.

-

“This entire weekend has not been real.” Nadia groaned as she put her head in her hands, her left wrist heavier than the other. The music was blasting loudly as she watched her friends partied from the booth. Their way of persuading her being “He’s driving, you’re not. Let’s go have fun!”

The ‘fun’ in question was shopping, driving around Monaco in different sports cars each, participating in random street interviews and almost ending up in that music video. Not to mention Tia gifting her an iced out Rolex signed by her crew back in the uk, a few tears escaping as she opened the watch just before Lewis left for Qualifying.

However, Nadia Hamilton had no clue what her and her friends were doing at a club as the race was being held, only on lap 12. She was exhausted, these past two weeks finally getting to her and the thought of having to return to work next week made her cringe. No drinks had entered her system but she could feel the headache coming through.

Grabbing her shoulder bag, Nadia headed to the bar to let her friends know that she’ll catch up with them later at the post-race party that apparently everyone attends. Hopping in the Lamborghini and fastening her seat belt, the woman sat back and really thought about her life at the moment.

No less than three months ago, she had finished off paying her student loan 3 years after she received her honours degree from Oxford. Thinking that she finally felt a weight lifted from her shoulders after submitting the final payment but it was nothing compared to how she was living now. Financially free to do whatever she wanted.

She knew it was a dangerous thought to have because truly, no one knows how long this ‘marriage’ between her and Lewis will last. Once he’s no longer in different scandals, will he kick her out? Will he take back the gifts and cars? Who knows. But one thing Nadia knew was that there is always going to be a plan b if the first one doesn’t work out.

Still owns her car, her apartment and places her salary in her savings account just in case this doesn’t carry through.

Hearing the roar of the sports car through the streets of Monaco had caught the attention of those outside of the track, Nadia quickly rushing to the penthouse to avoid the not-so kind weather approaching. Sending a good luck text to Lewis knowing very well he couldn’t read it, she crashed onto the couch after a shower and watched the race whilst occasionally watching from the balcony.

P4 was a good result although she wished for a podium, proud of him either way and her instagram story was evidence. After a few hours of chilling and cooking up some good pasta, Lewis got home and she made sure to hug him with excitement.

“You did the damn thing out there, boy! Those old ass motherfuckers had no idea what they were saying.” Nadia cheesed as she let go of the hug. He was pleasantly surprised at all this energy considering she was out all day.

“I mean, it’s not the result we wanted but I worked my ass off today.” He spoke, placing his stuff down on the kitchen counter. He stood next to her as she too leaned against the counter with her arms crossed.

“By the way, our friends have invited us to the post-race party at Lillie’s.” She pursed her lips then looked at his side profile. “What’s your say?”

“I don’t know, some Brazilian guy’ll be there and want your full attention.” Lewis shrugged.

“So..you?”

Kissing his teeth at her response, she burst into laughter. “I had to, that shit was funny.” Nadia wheezed as she looked at his stoic expression. “Damn,” she wiped a tear of laughter. “Let me go change so I can piss you off even more at the cluuuub!” She stood up straight and walked to her room, cackling loudly as she did. Leaving him to shake his head and laugh at her little jokes.

A good hour had passed and she was surprisingly ready in time. Wanting to keep as many memories of the weekend, Nadia took many photos be it serious or with personality. However, she wanted to change scenery so she went ahead to the living area that had a mirror and had an impromptu photoshoot.

Not noticing Lewis’ heavy footsteps walking around, she only looked up after a few moments and caught him admiring her. He sat on the couch manspread with his arm under his chin although his eyes were telling a different story.

Nadia took one glimpse at his outfit consisting of a LV sweatshirt that resembled a football jersey, large jewellery with his cap facing backwards and a fan in his diamond-clad hand and to take it a step further, he leaned back into the couch and flashed a bright smile, revealing a new set of grillz to her.

Fuck it, she thought.

“You think they’ll mind if we’re a bit late?” She asked, slowly walking towards him until she ended up between his legs. His hand connected with hers and guided her into his lap to straddle him, both hands grabbing at her waist to bring her closer.

“They’ll be fine.” Lewis slightly bit his lip and leaned in.

Instagram!

nadiahamilton:

New message from: @/juliananalu

juliananalu: hiiii

saint’s notes 🎀: pls do not be mistaken, central cee is my man lol. hope you enjoyed!

taglist: @non-stop-imagines @motheroffae @perfecttrashface @lorarri @thisismeracing @myescapefromthislife @slytherinjimin3nthusiast @jamie2305 @like-fire-love-blog @sugardontbesweet @simpfortoomanymen @mauvecherie-writes @queenshikongo3 @eugene-emt-roe @deepgothfiremuffin @18754389 @cherry2stems @anubisnoir @littlelizzies-world @httpsserene @apenasumlug4r @youre-sooooo-funny @eddiesbitch83 @arshiyuh @alika-4466 @peyiswriting @sunfairyy @roseseraj @vsfavs @louvrepool @mistruscity @tian-monique @hopefulromantic1 @exotic-iris13 @yeea-nah @nichmeddar @gg-trini @lifeless-firefly @vellicora @takeoffz-tookoff9876 @serpenttines @emjayewrites @royallyprincesslilly @lewisroscoelove @purplelewlew

if your account is blank, tumblr can’t find you!

[sordidmusings]

Switching Up Roles - Part 1/2 (Buggy x Reader)

A/N: So the request got insaaaaanely out of hand cuz I can't shut the fuck up about this stupid clown 🙃 In the future I gotta have requests ask for headcanons, full fic, or headcanons with drabbles in the future so I can put a cap on my brain lol I had also been wanting to write Switch!Buggy learning to embrace the sub part of himself. I wanted to get part of it out and the set up cuts off pretty cleanly here. There is a taste of smut in it, but it stays with the style of the exposition for the most part instead of really delving into it.

Word count: ~1760 (The draft is at 8100 rn 🧍🏻‍♀️)

Warnings: afab!reader (no pronouns), switch!reader, switch!Buggy, NSFW, p in v, creampie, they're like probably too into each other, Buggy leans towards opla Buggy, I have a propensity to just keep sentences going man

I hope you enjoy a taste and thank you for your patience 🙏🏻

Part 2

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

You’d always had a hunch about Buggy. It started with little things like how his grunts and moans would sometimes slip in and out of something more whiny and breathy. How the look in his eyes would turn from something rabid and devouring into something desperate and uncertain. Maybe he was just more comfortable using the whole range of his voice than most men. Maybe that look just came from the insecurity in him that you were constantly trying to wring out with every lingering hug and reassuring whisper.

Speaking of those, he drank them up like an addict. Now, it’s not like you think it’s abnormal to enjoy soft touches and sweet words; everyone wants those from their partner in one form or another. The thing is, Buggy seemed to hang on those words with extra ardor. He’d focus on you like nothing else existed. He’d twist and turn both himself and his comfort zone in order to receive them. Whenever he accomplished something, whether it was as big as defeating a new enemy or as small as making a new joke, he would turn his face to seek you out like a plant’s leaves reaching to feel the sun. He’d go to you whenever he was uncertain. Difficult announcements were made with you within arm’s reach, vital decisions were made with you sitting thigh to thigh, and battles were fought with the two of you back to back.

Despite his status as captain, Buggy was always following you. Of course, he was the one in charge, the one who gave orders, but you were the one for whom he would change those orders or redirect his path. When you entered a room, he was the one to go to you. It was only on rare occasions that he’d order you to him like an owner would a dog. His calls for you were greetings, that is if he wasn’t getting up to lead you in himself. Buggy did know how to demand but he preferred to handle you with invitations. 

Even so, you were well versed in Buggy leading you to touch or lay where and how he wanted. The extending months of your relationship have been filled with the two of you pushing and pulling at each other, empty of any thoughts and aims other than the need you had for each other. He has growled out commands and desires, expecting you to do just as he asked and he fit the role of manhandling you into a compliant sub very well. There were times when it seemed to be just that though - a role. Not every time; the more starved for your body he seemed, the more he’d take you just how he wanted. Now that you were months in and the pent up “what if”s were easing into the new joy of deep connection, his need for your body settled to hunger while his appetite for connecting to You became insatiable. Being able to allocate more time to exploring each other let latent behaviors break through the frantic way that you two tried to consume one another. Buggy had always aimed for your pleasure, hitting steady bullseyes, but now he was consciously seeking it and looking for new avenues to sate you and file them away for the future. He gained the clarity to observe while he was flooding himself with you.

You also noticed that with this change of pace came his need to chase your movements. You don’t think Buggy was even aware of the way he would lean his body towards you no matter the time or place, the way he would follow your lips whenever you pulled away, or the way his body would seek out your hands and happily mold to their movements like you were an artist working with clay. There was the way he seemed almost relieved when you would guide him. It appeared that he savored the time to unload the responsibility of decisions onto someone else but he had never known anyone he could trust to give him that peace before.

You understood that need. The rush you got when you only had to think of pleasing him and then hearing him tell you how good you were at doing just that? It was euphoria all on its own. It had you feeling like you knew in your core that you were doing something right and that you were making your love feel good - feel proud and happy. While you enjoyed partaking in it yourself, you had no problem taking control to give that to Buggy. Honestly it was a dynamic that was sounding tastier by the day. Seeing him act out of need for your direction and approval made you crave it more each time. You were eager to see him when he loses himself in the role of being what you want. You’re positive he’d take to it well; all you want is him after all, but now that he’s given pieces of himself to you, you want all of him. You want him to expose his needs to you, right down to the core of his desires, so that you could feel the thrill of holding that trust and vulnerability. You want to prove to him that he is always safe with you and that you can fulfill all that he wants and more.

One night a few weeks back, you got the final evidence you needed to feel confident labeling him as a switch like yourself. It was one of the few times Buggy was letting you ride him when he was close (he seemed to be embarrassed of the way it would pull out higher pitched moans from him, no matter how you complimented them), and he had let himself fall further into acting without thought than he usually would beneath you. His typical grapple with composure was replaced by him melting into bliss, leaving you a Buggy who was slack-jawed, glassy eyed, and trembling. You could still feel some hesitancy in the way he kept making his eyes focus on you even when they wanted to roll back or the way he would reign in his volume after a particularly (and deliciously) loud moan. His hands still went through the motions of guiding your hips, but this time your hips were pushing into that heavy grip instead of his hold directing the bounce and grind of your body on his.

Even though the feeling of his cock splitting you open and rubbing deliciously from your clenching entrance to the deepest stretch of your cunt left you struggling for thought, you were determined to keep an eye out for his tells that he would try to flip you back over. Whenever Buggy blinked some focus back into his eyes, you leaned down and captured his panting mouth in sloppy kisses. His eagerness to feel your swollen lips and teasing tongue made it easy to kiss his mind back into a blur. When he planted a hand down and sat himself up, you tightened your core to clench down on him and changed to the heavy grinds that made him weak with the way he could feel every hot, plush inch of you gripping him. He fell down to his elbow, but when you followed him to nibble at his ear and fill it with moans, he lost all his strength and collapsed back on the bed.

You kept at it because you needed to cum on top of him. The promise of a body shaking orgasm always came to you in the squeeze of your thighs around his waist, the grind of his pelvis on your clit, the way you could change your angle to have the head of his cock massaging whichever spot felt the most electric in the moment. It took hold of your mind with the way you got to look down on him spread out beneath you while he looked up at you with that desperate face. You could see how steeped he was in pleasure and need from his furrowed brow and shining eyes. Buggy always fell into the most beautiful, incoherent mess when you were the one leading him. His long blue hair spread out wildly, the few strands sticking to his face bringing out his pink flush. His gorgeous eyes, highlighted by stripes of blue makeup and long fluttering lashes, glistened up at you. His painted red mouth looked all the more tempting with how his kiss-wet lips parted for him to gasp in air and breathe out moans.

With little warning, Buggy sobbed out an overwhelmed, “Fuuu-hah-huuuuck,” and the next thing you knew strong hands yanked you down and he trapped you close in an iron grip. His forehead dug into your neck and his humid breath tingled down your chest. All you could feel, hear, smell was Buggy - so much burning skin, jumbled curses, lingering sea salt. His hands scrambled on your back, pulling you closer like he needed it to live, and amidst all the sensation you felt his cock pressed tight into you, twitching heavily with each wave of hot cum it pumped into you. It shoved you immediately far over the edge and you curled into him, squeezing and shaking and grabbing and gasping. You got what you were promised and your body shook, letting you get extra jolts of friction against his still pulsing cock.

The come down was slow and lethargic with the two of you molded to each other and unwilling to leave the moment behind. Your breaths eventually slowed while you both enjoy giving and receiving little trailing touches. Your brain was high from the intense orgasm and the building joy that you can finally open the door on this aspect of your relationship where Buggy lets himself submit.

That is, until he ruins it. 

Both of you were too tired to say much of anything through the swift cleanup and release to slumber. You didn’t think anything of it, because it wasn’t the first time it happened. You did start to catch on to Buggy’s avoidance when he would find convenient ways to dance around the topic or disappear when you were leading up to it. It became unquestionable when he started to run out of clever escape routes. The final straw was when you approached him with an “I wanna talk about the other night” and he did a 180 with a panicked “forgot some captain stuff for the thing” yelled back to you. So you let it drop. For a time.

You spotted your opportunity just over three weeks after you’d dropped the subject. Buggy continued to slip around you for almost two of those weeks, approaching you with the same caution a child would when entering a haunted house on a dare. He held the same nervous excitement and insatiable curiosity too. The whole time, you pretended that you hadn’t noticed. You were well practiced in the art of playing blind; Buggy wore his emotions on his sleeve whether he wanted to or not, and he loved that you would let him pretend some of it didn’t happen. Even though he knew you sometimes played it to your advantage and still let most of your comments and cackles out during his outbursts and foibles. He just paid you back for those with his own tricks and teasing and all’s fair in love and war.

You knew not to strike right away. You needed to reaaaaally let him settle back into normalcy between you two so that The Incident wasn’t on his mind. Not that you’d been able to get it out of yours; you were endlessly replaying the memory of him being seized by instinct and impulse so violently that he clung to you like he could never be close enough while you made him cum so hard that his dick felt like someone was jolting a toy inside you. Whether the imagery came to you on purpose or involuntarily, it always had you squirming and looking for some way to get off.

Today had been especially filled with that memory, but luck was on your side, finally ready to reward you for your patience. Buggy had been getting a bit exhausted recently, prepping the crew, the ship, and everything on it for a risky raid happening next week. It would be the culmination of a few months planning, and he had been running himself ragged making sure that everything would go smoothly. And, when it didn’t, there was a backup plan and at least two more backup plans for that one. 

He had been seeking rest from you more than interaction the past few days - falling asleep almost immediately after getting back to his room late, giving you long hugs where he’d close his eyes if only for a minute and let you hold up some of his weight, scarfing down his food so he could power nap with his head on your thigh while you finished your own meal. If he was doing something that only needed one hand, he’d send the other to you so he could have the comfort of your touch and the pick me up from feeling your occasional squeeze on it. He had to find and stop you the time you decided to massage his overworked hand, because the relaxing feeling had him zoning out through full conversations.

All that to say, the man clearly needed someone to force a break on him and take care of him. Just as clearly, Buggy was needing that care from you so much that he was allowing himself to seek you out in ways that he (wrongfully) feared would annoy or drain you. His exhaustion outweighing that sea-sized insecurity of his was the cue you’d been looking out for. If he really didn’t want to be submissive to you then that’s fine, but you’d be damned if it was just his own negative self-talk keeping the two of you from feeling that way again or from bonding even closer with another dynamic to exchange trust and affection. After all, that act of trust being met with affection is one of the best ways to chip away at his self-doubt and self-loathing.

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

More to come - hope you enjoyed 🤍

[celestie0]

kickoff ch10 this saturday (5/4) @ 1pm PST!!

HELLOOO i fucking finally finished ch10, just in the process of editing it rn

SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT oml but i hope it’s worth it :””) this next chapter is around 15k words holy jeebsus. it’s very rough draft rn haha the word count might change a bit during editing process, but we’ll see. it’s giving crack fic vibes too lmfaooo very diff from ch9

also just a warning gojo is extremely horny n sleazy in this next chapter🧍🏻‍♀️idk what tf happened lmfaooo i think he’s sick of all the edging i’ve been putting him through. i swear he will have lover boy status soon enough but for now hes just a hound dog lol my bad

this is literally kickoff gojo

[demon-slayer-chaos]

so

uhm

uh

akaza yandere?

but like

obsessive yandere?

like?

really obsessive yandere?

ruh roh?

oopsies?

*doesn't have to be pure minded either 🧍🏻‍♀️*

"A Demons Love" Yandere!Akaza x reader.

Hehehe I finally got off my ass and wrote this after it sitting in my drafts for literally a whole year.

Triggers: Yandere Themes, obsession, kidnapping, Akaza low key is out of character ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING HIM LEAVE ME ALONE 😭. I DON'T CONDONE ANY OF THESE ACTIONS THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.

Characters in this: Akaza

Requested: Yes

🔓 Requests are closed as of now🔓

Link to rules

Masterlist coming soon...

🏮- Oh dear, poor you. Dealing with an upper moon? How unfortunate.

🏮- Akaza's obsession started when he saw you taking a lonely night walk near your house. He wasn't out to kill anyone, he originally intended to just enjoy the moons light and the gentle nighttime breeze. Then he saw you.

🏮- He saw your figure and got interested, he started watching you out of curiosity. He knew that most humans wouldn't take a random walk at night, people weren't stupid, they knew demons existed. So it was an uncommon sight.

🏮- Before long, he felt a deep longing for a connection he has never experienced before. He knew he had a past love, but nobody had struct him as hard as you did. Seeing your beautiful hair seemed to always be shining in the moonlight, the way your eyes stood out, something about you hoping first sight made the upper moon fall hard.

🏮- His desire for closeness and attachment leads him down a dark path.

🏮- Despite his twisted feelings, Akaza maintains a facade of respect and courtesy towards you. He believes that treating you with kindness will make you reciprocate his affections.

🏮- His nightly watches soon became small talk between the two of you, which soon became conversations, eventually the two of you befriended each other. You weren't scared of him, and he wasn't going to harm you.

🏮- The two of you took regular walk, and you found out more about each other. Akaza always remembered these conversations, especially with little details.

🏮- One night you talk about your favorite flowers, the next morning you have them at your door step. One night you mention your favorite food? It's in your kitchen that morning, freshly made. Have a book you've been eyeing recently at a shop? You have it now. All because of him

🏮-This friendship comes at a cost however, Akaza becomes possessive and jealous, unable to bear the thought of anyone else having even the slightest influence on you. Only he should be able to see that gorgeous smile, or hear that beautiful laugh!

🏮- This possessiveness may manifest in subtle ways, such as monitoring your activities or keeping tabs on your relationships.

🏮- He struggles with his internal conflict between his violent tendencies and his desire to keep you safe. His actions might range from intense outbursts of rage to tender moments of care and protection. But he'd never show that side to you.

He waited so patiently every night to see you, what was taking so long?

The moonlight bathed the quiet courtyard, casting eerie shadows upon the stone walls. Akaza's eyes scanned around in the dark, waiting for you. Searching like a hunter finding it's prey, except there was no malicious intentions with him. He simply wanted to go on his nightly walk with you once more, it was a habit he squeezed into his schedule after god knows how long. He had a plead and beg for Muzan to allow a bit of free time for him to enjoy with you. Normally if you didn't feel good or an emergency happened he wouldn't be upset about missing such a small activity, if anything he'd still find you and watch over you. But tonight nothing changed, except your presence was absent.

He waited patiently for you in the dark, he was slowly getting more and more upset. Were you skipping out on the walk? He didn't know, until his eyes fixated upon you, his object of obsession, as you went about your evening routine. He saw your figure with a few others walking down the same path the two of you take every night.

Your gentle laughter echoed through the night air as you conversed with a group of friends. Akaza's heart skipped a beat, a twinge of jealousy piercing his chest. How dare they bask in your light, sharing the joy that should be his alone? He felt his nails digging into his palms as he watched, seeing that you went out with friends. Normally he'd know about such an event and wouldn't care too much, but it was clearly last minute.

As the night deepened, the group dispersed, leaving you alone in the tranquil courtyard. Akaza seized the opportunity, emerging from the shadows with a smile carefully painted across his face. His voice, though soft and gentle, carried a subtle undercurrent of possession.

"Ah, my dearest," he murmured, stepping forward, his eyes ablaze with fervent adoration. "How fortunate I am to witness your radiance under the moon's embrace."

You turned to face him, surprise flickering across your features. The unfamiliar intensity in his gaze momentarily gave you pause, but you dismissed it as a trick of the moonlight. "Akaza, you startled me," you said, offering a small smile.

"Forgive me, my love," he replied, his voice tinged with a blend of remorse and delight. "I couldn't resist the urge to be near you, to inhale the sweet fragrance of your existence." Akaza's words dripped with an unnerving possessiveness, yet his demeanor remained oddly respectful. He stepped closer, his presence enveloping you, suffocating yet comforting. A predatory glimmer danced in his eyes, his obsession transparent. He then gently, yet tightly grabbed your wrist, pulling you into his chest.

"Your laughter, your every breath—it belongs to me," he whispered, his voice dripping with longing and madness. "No one else can understand your worth, your essence, as deeply as I do."

As the fear trickled down your spine, you took a step back, a cautious glimmer in your eyes. "Akaza, you're scaring me," you spoke softly, attempting to reason with the man who stood before you, his desire veering dangerously into obsession.

A twisted smile curved Akaza's lips as he raised a hand, his fingers gently caressing your cheek. "Oh, my dear, do not fear. I am merely taking what rightfully belongs to me," he declared, his voice laced with a chilling conviction. Before you could react, a sudden surge of strength coursed through his body, his hand swiftly closing around your wrist. Panic flooded your senses as you realized you were unable to break free from his grasp, his supernatural strength overpowering your every attempt.

As you struggled, your heart pounded against your ribcage, the realization of your predicament sinking in. Akaza, the one you once considered a friend, had crossed the threshold of obsession, becoming a captor of your very being. With a smooth, calculated motion, Akaza pulled you closer, his grip unyielding. "My love, I cannot bear the thought of you being apart from me any longer."

A twisted, feverish gleam filled Akaza's eyes as he whispered, his voice a chilling mix of possessiveness and delusion. "In my arms, you shall remain forever, my precious treasure. No one else shall have you. No one else deserves you."

Terror surged through your veins as you realized the depth of Akaza's obsession, his determination to keep you confined to his twisted world. You fought against his hold, desperate for freedom, but his grip only tightened, his fingers digging into your skin. With a sharp, predatory grin, Akaza hoisted you over his shoulder effortlessly, your struggles rendered futile against his supernatural strength. He carried you away, his steps quick and purposeful, leaving the moonlit courtyard and venturing into the depths of the night.

Your voice trembled as you pleaded with him, your words laced with desperation. "Akaza, please... Let me go. This isn't love. This is captivity."

Akaza's laughter echoed through the empty streets, a chilling melody that sent shivers down your spine. "Love, my dearest, is a fickle thing. It can be gentle, yes, but it can also be possessive and consuming. I am consumed by my love for you, and I shall protect you from the world that seeks to take you away."

As he carried you further into the shadows, your heart sank. You were trapped, at the mercy of a demon's warped affection. The world outside grew distant, and the future appeared bleak. In the depths of Akaza's twisted love, you could only hope for a sliver of light to guide you back to freedom.

[jeonghantis]

hiii! could you write some sub!woozi?❤

note: oh anon.. ahaha.. i hope you enjoy this! i had like several drafts of this and scratched a lot of them out but i do hope this one would help quench the sub!woozi thirst. sprinkled in some cute and sweet moments but still, reader is mean oop. i hope i did him justice 🧍 this is not proofread.

requests ⇝ open

pairing ⇝ lee jihoon (woozi) x reader.

tags ⇝ established relationship, smut, fluff, idol!woozi.

warnings ⇝ graphic sexual content, gn!reader but has female parts (sorry, woozi being pussy-drunk is stuck on my mind).

word count ⇝ 1.4k words

smut tags under the cut.

minors do not interact.

smut tags: sub!woozi, mean dom!reader, teasing, degradation, praise, petname "baby", dirty talk, studio sex, chair sex, mention of fingering, cockwarming, unprotected sex, creampie, cumplay(?), grinding, woozi cums a bit too fast (oop), mentions of being used as a toy, woozi being used as a toy instead. if i missed anything please let me know!

“Didn’t I tell you to sit still, Jihoon?”

A whimper was breathed, so broken and so soft that it was barely imperceptible and could have easily been mistaken for a creak of furniture. But you caught it. You knew exactly what it was. And you smile, peering down at the source who sat under you—a man, whose broad frame enriched with muscles, now trembled, and whose strong arms corded with power flexed as he held tightly onto the armrests of his chair for his dear life. 

“But it’s h-hard not to,” Jihoon rasped, trying so hard but failing to keep his hips jerking up, to shallowly thrust his length further into your heat.

Immediately, you reach a hand back, pressing your palm down hard on his thigh as if to stop his movements, but you’re gritting your teeth, biting back a moan from the delicious drag of him against your silken walls. “But you said you’d be good for me, didn’t you?” you crooned, bringing your free hand to cradle your boyfriend’s face, a thumb smoothing over the softness of his cheek. “You’re the one that wanted this, right?”

Jihoon doesn’t meet your eyes. It was true, he was the one who brought the image up—the image of you sitting prettily on his cock, warming him for hours as he would try to work on his music. That had been a little less than an hour ago, just after your arrival in his studio to surprise your busy boyfriend who you hadn’t seen awhile because of his hectic schedule leading up to his comeback. You had meant for it to be a cute little catchup over takeaway dinner and never would’ve expected those combinations of words to leave your boyfriend’s mouth. Jihoon had just shrugged casually as if what he had suggested weren’t strung together to be so obscene, but from the pinking tips of his ears, you knew the embarrassment was catching up to him. And from the bewilderment he had on his face when you immediately moved to remove the bottom half of your clothing and sit on his lap, you knew he didn’t think you’d act on his suggestion right away.

Could anyone blame you? When he looked so adorable trying to play it cool?

And so he relented. He relented when you ordered him to return and work on the tracks, all the while you stretched yourself out above him with your own fingers to prepare yourself for his girth. He relented when you finally sank down, letting out that restrained whimper when you bottomed out completely. He relented for a good fifteen minutes, (barely) working on mastering the track, before you finally felt the most delicate thrust made against you, as if he tried to search for his own relief in secret.

How could a person be so adorable? You were going insane.

“Answer me, baby,” you drawled, forcibly taking his chin with deft fingers to make him look at you. “You’re the one who brought this up. Why can’t you do it well, hm? Already dumb from getting your cock wet?”

“Y-Yes,” he breathed out, not even missing a beat. “Y-You just feel so good. I can’t – ”

“Can’t talk properly?” you cruelly finish with a chuckle. “Have you been so pent up, Jihoon baby?”

Jihoon does not try to speak again, shame coloring his cheeks as he gnaws on his bottom lip. You would have felt bad for him at this moment were it not for him twitching ceaselessly inside you. So, you did not, and instead smiled sharply, tightening your grip on his face.

“Are you not going to answer me again?” you crooned. “Was I not right? Were you not pent up? Were you not dying to be inside me?”

His hands flew to grab your waist, nails digging crescents roughly into your skin. With the strength he had used, it was almost as if he had meant to lift you up and and use your body to fuck himself with. But he had stayed still, huffing heavily with veins cropping up his arms with restraint. 

You had only stared at him, greatly amused by it all with a brow cocked up. “Use your words,” you chided paired with a tilt of your head. “Answer.”

He swallowed hard, throat visibly bobbing, before finally managing out words. “You’re right,” his voice strained. He looked at you now, pure anguish and lust an untamed flame flickering in the darkness of his eyes. His hands are frantic as he begins to feel you up, to just feel you and everything that you are. You gave a disappointed click of tongue, but he was not listening, calloused fingers clutching your waist, as he slowly descended into insanity. “I didn’t think you would cockwarm me right away, I just – I’ve just missed you so much and I really do miss being inside you so much so please, please let me fuck you. Please? I’ve missed you. I missed you so much - ”

He was blabbering, not stuttering as much anymore, but nonetheless blabbering whatever came into his desire-ridden mind first. But that did it for you. Your self-control plummeted hard at the first ‘I’ve just missed you’ and you’ve always been such a sucker for being yearned for. And you missed and yearned for him just as much as he did for you, so it was easy to relent to him, to finally raise your hips and begin moving against him.

“I love you,” you whispered, your teasing lilt long gone, as you let yourself be taken away by the pleasure of being filled, of finally being one with the love of your life after having been apart. 

“I love you,” Jihoon sobbed right back, lower frame lifting up to meet the pace you set. Already his hips stammered as he did so and you couldn’t help the delighted spasm of your walls around him, which did nothing to aid his crumbling self. “I love you so much. I love you so so much, baby. Thank you, thank you, thank you -”

You shut him up with a kiss, rough and hungry, but still holding all the affection you had for him. He eases into it without a fight, his lips parting open for you to lick into. “You can let go, Jihoon baby,” you murmured into his mouth, flicking your tongue behind his teeth. “Fill me up well. I know you can.”

That did it for him and he just broke apart. A thread of whimpers and appreciation fall from his lips as he releases inside you with a violent twitch, spurting loads and loads of his white warmth it was almost neverending. By the time Jihoon had calmed and slumped back on his chair, you could feel his slick leak out of you, sliding back down his softening length, and you just let yourself be amazed by it.

So, he had really been so pent up.

“You did amazing, baby,” you cooed, pressing your lips against his, this time in a more chaste and sweet manner, and then press your lips everywhere else on his sweating face.

Jihoon murmured another ‘thank you’, slowly coming down from his high with slow blinks made in your direction. “Did you cum?” he asked quietly, sounding concern but worn out.

“No,” you admit and already Jihoon is moving to sit up, but you stop him with a hand on his chest. “It’s okay, I can do it myself.”

But Jihoon looked crestfallen and he moves to hold your waist again, giving it a gingerly squeeze. “But you don’t have to, I’m right here and I can help – ”

“I know,” you said, lips curving. “I was thinking of using you.”

Jihoon blinked again. “Oh.”

“Oh,” you affirmed with a laugh. You lift yourself off of him, just enough to have his cock come slumping out of you, unplugging what kept most of his release inside. You let his cum seep out of you as you carefully drop back down, sitting right atop and having him fit snugly between your wet folds. “I hope you don’t mind become my toy for a bit,” you purred and dragged your cunt along the underside of his length, suppressing a shiver made from the friction finally pressed on your clit. “You’ll be good, won’t you?”

“I will,” Jihoon exhaled but his eyes were transfixed to your cunt spreading his own cum all over himself. “I will. I promise I will this time.”

“Good boy,” you smiled. “Let’s make up for lost time, hm?”

[sanjisblackasswife]

First things first I love your writing so much!

So okay I know you did the monster trio on a aphrodisiac but I been thinking about y/n on a aphrodisiac and like them having to deal with that. If you could write that please? If not it’s okay just a thought

i been having this in my drafts since october 31🧍🏾‍♀️

….all i have to do is finish Luffy’s but i just… been too tired too LMAOOO

[whyse7vn]

JUNGKOOK GETS ROBBED -

[ot7 x reader]

one direction 😜

8 participants — 8 online

———————————

jin: don’t laugh but

y/n: laughing

jin: fuck you

hobi: but what?

jin: found a grey hair today

namjoon: young in spirit !

y/n: can i be on your will?

jungkook: still love you bro 💜

jimin: he cried for an hour

y/n: LMAO

jin: and you dare ask to be on my will ?

y/n: 🥰🥰🥰

jungkook: have you guys listened to the song mad at disney ?

tae: bye

hobi: …

namjoon: are you okay now jin?

jin: i knew you were my favourite for a reason namjoon !!!!

i’m ok … i’m coping i guess there is not much i can do

i’m just gonna sit here and accept death as it comes

just know namjoon your name is on first line in my will ❤️

namjoon: thanks?

jin: you are most welcome

tae: can i be visual now?

jin: no.

anyways y/n…

y/n: OMG ME FOR VISUAL JIN IM HONOURED 🙈🙈🙈

jin: again no.

yoongi: lol

jin: y/n i fear we are going to have to reproduce to save my bloodline and fill my gap in the group

y/n: YOU FEAR ???

jin: i mean ur not the best person to reproduce with…

y/n: what’s that supposed to mean ??

jin: i said what i said.

y/n: i’ll have you find i’m a GREAT person to reproduce with

jin: really?

y/n: really

jin: i’ll guess you’ll have to prove me wrong.

yoongi: gross

tae: omg wait… i’m dying too

y/n it’s the only way

save the kim bloodline

jungkook: im mad at disney disney

namjoon: bro…

jungkook: they tricked me tricked me 😔

y/n: jay park so ugly omg

hobi: i pass the mic pass the mic

jungkook: wtf don’t talk about my bff like that

jimin: BFF 😨⁉️

tae: god forbid…

yoongi: hell naw 😟

namjoon: oh

y/n: and that’s your problem….

always saying dumb shit that make me want to hit you

jin: did he not steal from you? or did someone make that up

jungkook: moving on lol

y/n: NO FUCKING WAYHXJXJDMFJCJKX

jimin: LMWOSOSOSO NOT HIM REALLY STEALING KNGSGHDNX

yoongi: LMAO

hobi: 😭😭😭😭😭

jungkook: it’s not even that funny it was an accident.

namjoon: what did he steal?

jungkook: just some headphones nothing major

namjoon: the studio ones?

jungkook: yeah he said he’ll bring them back they accidentally fell into this bag

yoongi: are you fucking dumb?

namjoon: did you get them back?

jungkook: he says been really busy lately

y/n: LNASKSOODODOFKCKDKCKCKX

hobi: wow…

jimin: you deserve it idc

tae: PLSNSJSJJXJDJXJXK

jin: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

jungkook: shut up

y/n: you ain’t never getting them shits back so sorry my love

yoongi: fr

jimin: i hate enhypen

y/n: omg ?!

tae: same lol

yoongi: who

hobi: fever fever fever

namjoon: what did they do to you?

hobi: love them

jimin: idk i just felt like being a hater

namjoon: ok??

y/n: sunoo is great

jimin: no fuck him

y/n: fuck you

hobi: do you think enhypen hates us?

jin: we are bts ofc they don’t tf

tae: true

namjoon: …

jin: what

sorry i didn’t lie

y/n: no comment.

yoongi: also no comment.

jin: also no comment

hobi: ???

namjoon: you made your comment already jin?

jin: no

namjoon: whatever

tae: i stand by what i said

jimin: i honestly couldn’t give a single fuck about what they think

y/n: omg who crawled up ur ass today

jimin: 🧍🏻‍♂️

yoongi: crazy

jungkook: i think we should give jay park a chance guys

jimin: bye.

tae: peace ✌🏼

y/n: …

hobi: out.

namjoon: tired of this bs

yoongi: 👋🏻

jin: bitch.

…

im back omg ???? this is literally just a draft that i never finished that’s why it sucks so bad 😭😭 freeing everything from my drafts so stay tuned for that !!!

[everyonewooeverywhere]

i’m not sure if anyone has ever asked this before but i kinda wonder what your writing process is like idk i just kinda find stuff like that interesting ☝🏽🙂‍↕️

- 🧶 (i also lowkey forgot i joined your anon till just now 🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh i love these kinds of questions! 🤭

honestly, it can vary a lot from fic to fic.

there are quite a few that i've just written in one sitting one night in my bed. most of my short little drabbles are like that. usually those are just me sitting down and forcing myself to write. and while i'm usually not very proud of them, i'll almost always post something if its finished because i like to have the mindset that someone will enjoy it. and i don't want it to just rot away in my drafts.

any of my more conceptual(?) stuff (like the casual dominance yunho post, or college boyfriend mingi and san, or the toxic situationship mingi one) are usually things that have just kind of plagued my mind for days 😭 and i honestly really like these kind of posts! they're a lot of fun to write and it's less about the plot and focuses more on the relationship dynamic.

now ok, cowboy has been pretty different when it comes to my writing process. now, quite a few of my fics stem from me and @ateez-main-yapper going a little crazy in the dms. and the whole plot of ok, cowboy is kind of similar. i dropped the initial idea in her dms and after a lot of back and forth i eventually got to a pretty complete plot (that we still expand on a lot 😭). and usually i'll write a couple scenes before she goes over and helps edit it. it's honestly a lot of fun to work with other people on stuff! it keeps me motivated to write, and is really just a fun thing to giggle about.

[velitor]

Would you say writing gets the short end of the stick in the face of social media? On the aspect of works-in-progress alone, it's either done or it never sees the light of day. It feels maddening in this respect!

i have definitely gotten frustrated with that before, but at the same time, sharing writing on social media doesn't have to go that way!! i think the way of sharing it has to be more creative, though, than simply handing out an unfinished product like you can with other creative methods

it shouldn't be less enjoyable, but definitely isn't as simple as, say, art

in terms of art, there is definitely more to share that is easy to see -- you're literally watching it unfold in front of your eyes!! you can share sketches versus lineart versus final, if you really want. writing, you can't exactly share the unfinished draft, but you can't really share an unfinished YouTube video / movie either, or an unpolished chorus of a WIP song, or whatever else, so it's hard to say that it's the "runt of the litter" in terms of social media sharing potential

writers may potentially have to rely on their creativity more in order to share about their works, but i think that is ALWAYS going to be true in terms of creators on social media. the internet is getting more and more saturated with the same things, so there's always got to be this push to do more and do better and do uniquely if the goal is to be seen. and also, sadly, writing is probably the easiest thing to plug into AI and steal from, so that's made it all the more difficult to navigate

but there's always reels related to writing -- a piece i beta-read recently has some really cool reels associated with the project on instagram!! i enjoyed making reels highlighting my progress when i used to have a separate writing insta back in the day. there's youtube videos, there's just one-liners that really slap that can be shared without much AI risk, there's synopses, there's animations and skits and whatever else you can dream of!!

so, in short, i think it is definitely harder to put on social media if all you limit yourself to is what you have on the page. but if you're willing to bend rules and create outside the boundaries of being a writer, then there's a lot more to do and share !!!

let me know if this is a coherent answer to what you're asking b/c i have been known to totally misread stuff sometimes 🧍

[whumpinthepot]

🍈!

Here!! I write original works so I’ll be answering for that instead of fanfic :) thx for the ask!

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

Uh, I guess my oc Ratty is right now because they’re the main character of the book ive been working on for the last year or two. Unfortunately.

I’m hoping to have the first draft completely written by next year though! :D (fingers crossed next year will be better. This years got hands and im losing)

My rant is that people struggle with Ratty’s pronouns and have very strong opinions on what gender™️ Ratty “secretly” is :/ and get aggressively heated about it for some reason… I don’t really understand why people care so strongly about a fictional character that I made up that im not even pushing on them or making them read but here we are. 🧍🏻‍♂️ I thought it would be fun to make a nonbinary character you know just for funsies I didn’t expect so many people to be blatantly transphobic. Ive literally said, multiple times, “That’s okay, you don’t have to read it :)” and for some reason thats like spitting on their shoes and just makes it worse 😭

[amphibia-a-day]

....whoops

Hiiiii I accidentally messed up the numbering of the past few posts since like... The 4th, I'm glad it wasn't longer than that but I finally had time to sit down today and draft and queue more posts and actually add things to the sheets I made (yes I have a Google sheets file with so much info about each post and the dates and numbers and stuff- anyway) and I noticed, huh that's weird, why aren't we near 1000 yet..... Oh no

So uh yeah somehow on the 4th I posted 998 instead of 988, I guess I can see how that would happen, but then the next one was 899? Then 900, then somehow 801, and then I've been counting from there.... Whoops ... This is what happens when I've been working 2 jobs and also opened a show at the beginning of February so I haven't actually had time to sit down on my laptop and queue stuff, I've just been doing it on my phone in passing moments of free time... Whoopsie 💀🧍

Anyway it's fixed now! Today isn't 807, it's 997, which means day 1000 is soon! I should've known something wasn't right when Tumblr told me I hit 1000 posts on this blog a few days ago .... H m

Anyway, things should be back to normal now! ...and hopefully with a little more variety in episodes I post, I've just only had what I had drafted already to work with and not been able to pull things from my laptop, but now there's a few more options! Which, speaking of....

I've been meaning to make a post like this for a little while but haven't gotten around to it - what episodes do you want to see screenshots from?? I've been posting screenshots I like, or I think people will like, but I wanna know - what would you like to see? ...to anyone that may read this anyway. Feel free to write in the notes, or send me an ask, or do whatever feels comfortable for you! Or you can submit screenshots and I'll queue them up if they haven't been posted yet - I've had people send me some before, and apologies for not responding to your asks, but I do definitely see them!!! And I appreciate them so much!!

tl;dr, I goofed on the last 10 days of posts, but I fixed them now, and now I'm going to sit down and queue more for at least a little bit so more screenshots can actually get posted on time instead of when I realize before going to bed 😔 and I'd love to hear from you all on what you'd like to see on this account! I love running it, and I love seeing people come back day after day - thanks for being here! :)

[fumifooms]

Bonbon is fucking me up

Fancy alt title: On coping, safety in the inanimate and helplessness against the animalistic

I don’t care about the storybook symbolism I’m here to talk about the experience of it all and how it’s so viscerally relatable. Watched the new Jacob Geller vid and I am in shambles (< how to say something that immediately ages your draft pfft…) I appreciate this game I appreciate it a lot

I recommend if you’re here but don’t know a thing about Bonbon you just go watch it, here’s a gameplay, it’s short. Or the Jacob Geller video segment at least 🙏 It does an amazing job at covering it.

Official game description:

Bonbon is a thirty-minute long, first-person domestic horror narrative about childhood events you are too young to understand. Playing as a young toddler, walking and carrying objects will be difficult. You will drop things, and you will fall over. Since your parents aren't there to pick you up, you'll be spending time with a large, overbearing and ambiguous visitor... a monstrous, hungry rat named Bonbon.

Official CW: Steam : The player character is a young child who is being traumatised by a giant humanoid rat who appears in the house one day. The traumatic events are symbolic and related to domestic issues. Physical violence is extremely mild, but some players might find the threatening atmosphere to be uncomfortable. // itch.io : Bonbon deals with grown-up themes and suggestions of child-abuse. There is no literal violence or onscreen abuse, it is entirely in the subtext.

If you play through it without knowing anything about it, you’ll have to piece things together to grasp the theme of domestic abuse, but the second you step into official descriptions, it is very straightforwardly about that. I mention this because the game also makes the rat monster, well, a literal rat— a pet rat that is shown in-game to be feral & average in the end credits and to have been adopted into the family from a newspaper rehoming ad. I’ve seen people argue without the extra context that the story has no "fancy" analogy and metaphor for the monster, that it’s pretty literal and is just about a kid’s fear of his own pet rat exaggerated. And, well………. 🧍

So warning for this specific post, we’ll be talking about domestic abuse and trauma, not any acts perse but moreso the feelings it makes you go through- what I think this game is interested in representing.

So I only looked at other non-youtube-comment reviews after writing most of this, but now that I have I do have many nifty little links and snippets to share as cherry on top. If you look on the game’s itch.io page you can find links to some other interesting reviews/analyses. In particular, this short quote by Adam Smith about the game represents well something that people keep bringing up about Bonbon, childhood anxiety :

"the confusion between what is real and what isn’t, and what is threatening and what is malign, rings true."

This reddit thread is another interesting analysis, particularly with the angle of sexual abuse but also goes into the meta mechanics & experience. Only setback is you must have a reddit account to read it. (I won’t be taking the same angle at all but it isn’t incompatible with my reading either, either way it’s very compelling and supported by concrete analysis so give it a look if that interests you.)

And yet even still with all these I wanted to make my own thematic analysis bc I need it and I have other & new things to say. Like how personal experiences have shaped others’ reviews, mine will have a specific angle influenced by my own as well. I don’t consider I was abused- but I was traumatized by a parent, so I do relate to the feelings evoked. Alcoholism, absentness and mild anger issues with an occasional threat of corporal punishment makes for a very fitting cocktail for Bonbon, I feel, but we’ll be getting into that.

The suspense, the fear lingering at the back of your mind that you’re trying to suppress because this is your daily. Domestic horror feels like a quite accurate term. Critiques of the game often agree on a central theme being agency and the lack thereof and that’s particularly interesting, but I want to give a look at the coping angle of the narrative specifically, moreso than the suffering & enduring reactive and active side of it that has been extensively covered.

No the rat man never stops feeling disturbing next question

Before truly getting into it I want to lay out the game’s plot and structure. It has 5 scenes. In the first scene you, the kid, are playing outside when your mom calls you inside, and you have to put away your toys. In scene 2, you play inside and your mom calls you to dinner, and you have to put away your toys. Scene 3, it’s your birthday and you eat cake. In scene 4 a radio with dad’s voice soothingly reads you a morbid tragic bedtime story. In scene 5, it’s night and you can’t sleep, you wander a bit before going back to bed. In scene 3 and 5 the parents are arguing as background noise (albeit very deliberate and purposeful one you’re meant to notice and pay attention to). Bonbon is in all of these scenes, and the aggression he shows/discomfort he causes escalates, until the game abruptly ends when he jumpscares you.

Mild fear, no alarm

Scene 1 and 2 especially are great at establishing normalcy. It feels like routine. The acts are mundane. This is your normal. There is nothing that feels special about today and seemingly nothing is out of place, even a giant rat man suddenly coming crashing in through the fence. No one comments on him, but you interact with him and talk to him. You already know his name, the way you know the name of all your toys, Bonbon.

A significant part of the gameplay is spent with toys, holding them up, manipulating them, playing with them and putting them away. Even in scene 5, toys are used in eerie ways to lure and scare.

Toys are obviously important to the child. They’re the only thing besides the environment and parents that they interact with at all, and the only thing they talk to besides Bonbon. They talk to the toys, saying "hello [toy name]!" almost like a ritual, compulsively, every time to every toy if you the player takes the time to. You certainly have the prompt to do so, and no reason to do or not do it. This ingrained habit shows that they humanize the toys to some degree, and supports that the child has an active imagination.

So, you’re putting your toys away when suddenly Bonbon appears, like I said crashing through the fence noisily. There is no more sudden movement or noise from him, and nothing indicates that this is strange or unusual. Eventually, you’ll have found all the toys you can in the backyard, but that doesn’t mean you found all the toys you need to put away. With nothing else to do, you wordlessly approach Bonbon, and only then does he do anything at all. He watches you, and he drops the last ball you need, it rolling closer to you. You have to approach and bend down to grab it. You do not know why or how Bonbon had the toy in the first place.

There are two levels with this as with any game, the character’s experience and the player’s experience. We have very little insight on the kid’s emotions through all of this, but player wise it’s clear and unanimouse- It’s disturbing. This scene is very powerful in showing how something as simple as help from someone you feel uncomfortable about— someone you’re not sure about— can be very, very intimidating. Uncanny, even. Both during and after, you’re unsure wether the help is genuine or if, like an animal it’ll turn around at the flip of a dime and rip you to shreds if you make one step out of line.

But no, (for now,) the rat helps, and this makes you tentatively decide it’s not all bad. You still feel a little uncomfortable. Bonbon is holding a toy, something that is safe and joyful, helping and giving it, after all. Still, the association between Bonbon and "safe" can’t be made, despite the signs pointing to him not being nefarious we always instinctively hang onto nitpicks of "so far" and "for now". You feel the wrongness, the distrust. Even though by the time the second scene rolls around, the association between Bonbon and "toy" has definitely been made.

You move on to the next scene still wondering if any consequence will come of the encounter. And scene 2 is very similar, almost a repeat in only a different setting. This time Bonbon enters the house and stands in the doorway to the room, almost fully filling it with his size. When he gives you the toy you’re looking for, it’s smaller than a ball and it doesn’t roll toward you. You have to pick it up, bending down right next to his feet, almost touching.

He didn’t hurt you last time, but (in the player at least) there’s something that screams at you to be careful, that that’s no reason it won’t hurt you this time. Still, you need its help, and still, it offers it.

The uncertainty. The threat of danger— though you constantly second guess yourself, should you be scared at all? Is there a threat, or only a possibility? Does that distinction matter? Is it your fault for being scared? And you don’t know, you don’t know if you truly should, there’s no way to know until it happens and that’s precisely the thing you’re stressed over and working so hard trying to avoid.

Has it not happened yet only because you tiptoed and walked on eggshells, or would it not have happened either way? The game in this case answers this in its last second of the last scene- and I argue that’s why that’s the end. That answer was given- the game is about this longheld feeling of anxiety and dread and discomfort, that you’re unsure of when the elastic will have been pulled too far causing it to snap. Then it answers this, and it ends just like that.  There’s no proper closure, about what happens afterwards to the kid or anyone else in the family, or even about the meaning of all the imagery and metaphors, but there is closure in one thing: you hadn’t imagined the threat. You were right to be scared all along.

This is the core of what the game was building up with the first two scenes : tension. A balloon swelling until it pops, more and more and more and you keep asking when will it pop.

It’s a never ending suspense, a jumpscare music starts but the jumpscare never happens, rationalizing everything and gaslighting yourself. A child, though, of course, thinks of these things much less clearly, all of this is much more subconscious. Feels things instead of understand them- which is why I think the game was so well thought and made, you’re a child and you don’t really know what’s going on —and you don’t have the tools to either—, everything feels vague and more importantly vaguely wrong. You can only feel. You have no proof and you understand nothing you can only feel. There are instincts but they’ve been dulled by normalization and habit.

Obviously, toys are the opposite of this anxiety. They’re predictable and safe because you know them and what they are and what they do, there is little to no hidden factor and they have no will or intent. The communication there is to be had with them at all is in very predictable standard sentences and onesided, "Hello, [name]!". There is no body language to analyze or keep track of and their faces if any are drawn and designed for a child’s, smiling and bright or teaching emotions through cartoonish exaggeration. A pet rat, or parents, by comparison, have subtle and complex body language, hard to read expressions- You never see your parents’ appearances at all, much less their faces, but what can you read in Bonbon’s face? You can’t read anything, it’s morbidly neutral, it’s not human in a way you can intuitively understand and that makes it feel more unpredictable and scarier. The inanimate is safe. Toys are humanized to some degree to make them warmer more fun company, but other living things are inversely objectified to attempt to make you more comfortable with them. Let’s move on and I’ll get back to this in scene 4.

Deep fear, mild alarm

Scene 3. It gets revealed it’s your birthday! There’s nothing that cements it for sure, but there’s no reason to disbelieve that all 5 scenes of the game are set in the same day. In which case, the mother’s unremarkable mundane behavior can speak even more interestingly about the theme of neglect.

You’ve been called to the table and mom lit up the candles on the cake and sings you happy birthday! You two are interrupted when the phone rings and mom steps away to answer it, breaking the happy mood. You hear a chair scraping on the floor and when the screen shows things again Bonbon is sitting next to you, huge and insistent on getting cake. You cut a slice, for yourself presumably but he asks for it and you give it. Asking for a slice, then another, then another until he pushes you over to eat all your cake and you still haven’t had any. And of course this happens during while you can hear fight on the phone between mom and dad. Mom seemingly blames the mess on you and sends you off to take a bath fondly.

This was the part that made me wonder what line the metaphor was toeing. The dad is busy on the phone, so Bonbon can’t just be dad when he’s physically there. My first impression was that the child brings their rat to the dining table to have company sometimes. Someone to share a cake with even perhaps. But not something they can hold back or make behave, so when they give it some cake it gets out of hand… We’ll come back on this but I think loneliness is an important and supported theme. Is it only the child’s trauma given form, that causes them to lash out and smash the cake or such? Is it the memories, that ruins the cake for them? The official description of the game makes it sound like Bonbon’s presence is only allowed because of the parents’ neglect, some visitor that appears when they’re not watching... This is all interesting to ponder, but ultimately this is the point where the line gets truly blurred, what makes me think that it’s nuanced and situational rather than a black or white answer.

The mom never comments on Bonbon, and Bonbon joins the table quickly only after mom goes away on the phone to talk to dad- Bonbon has inserted himself in the scene both figuratively because he called by phone and it’s distracting from the moment, from the birthday cake and from the child’s birthday, and literally (through Bonbon, perhaps just a personification of trauma) by seating himself at the table.

In this scene the child talks to Bonbon for the first and only time. "Hello, Bonbon!" they say, and after this they get the prompt to either give Bonbon a slice of cake each time they ask or say "No, Bonbon!", but even if you do he’ll only insist and ultimately push you out of the way. The theme of agency is of course central here, the sheer helplessness of it all. To add insult to injury mom comes back and makes light of the situation, dismissing it entirely.

Extra stuff you could read into is how sweets are unhealthy and potentially poisonous to rats. Bonbon in french means candy btw, if that’s anything at all. I also had in my notes written that there was smoke in the scene, interesting because it’s unecessary, helps atmosphere even though it’s illogical or such? Idiom reference, or reminds smoke detectors bc of kitchen for a metaphor? But was it puffs of breathing? The thing is that I physically cannot rewatch the cake scene so, sorry you only have my memory after five months from watching it lol.

Comfort

This is an interlude of sorts. The only thing that happens in this scene is you have to listen to a bedtime story while tucked in bed, one told by a radio at your bedside speaking with dad’s voice.

In meta, this has an effect on you, it slows the pace and the game’s story down. Maybe there’s lingering tension in you and you can’t relax all throughout it, because of what’s happened so far, but personally, I found myself getting sleepy, almost comfortable, soothed. Both are very interesting experiences. The story and scene lasts long minutes where you can’t move or do anything but listen, so it’ll have an effect on you in any case, even if it’s simply breaking tension through boredom, which could feasibly be an emotion experienced by the child as well. A tradition done out of routine, so the story can bore you to sleep lol. The former shows just how much the child’s home life puts one in a constant state of stress and tension, meanwhile the latter shows a potential reprieve from the tension and more importantly where the child would find it in.

I’ll be going forward with the latter. You, the player, get to be soothed with a bedtime story to the voice of daddy. The scene tells a story that can explain the symbolism and is ripe grounds for analysis, but it itself shows you another side to things. Daddy here, through the inanimate object that physically cannot be unpredictable, a recording of sometime nice, is soothing, a bedtime story, it’s a presence that lulls you to sleep with a kind soft voice.

By this point, it’s been cemented that the father is the unstable destabilizing element in the household/family dynamic. This was the scene I was most onterested in analyzing, because I think this goes back to the child’s liking of toys. Dare I say, their coping through toys. The radio shows distance, which both has positives and negatives. This reinforces to me the theme of neglect and loneliness— Daddy reads you a story but it’s through a radio, which supports the dad might be an absent father. Mechanically, you can never give an appearance to either mom or dad like I mentioned, they’re always offscreen or in black screen cutscenes. In this house it’s only you, Bonbon and the toys. The radio is there because dad couldn’t or wouldn’t be physically present to read it to the child, or because… The radio as mentioned is an object, something safe. The recording of daddy’s voice is unchanging and it stays soothing, predictably slow and soft. It could be argued that the radio isn’t even literal and it’s a way for the kid to pretend that the dad has no physical presence. Perhaps because like the end shows, physical consequences can and do happen. With scene 5 it’s arguably, but as of scene 4 with scene 3 we’ve only ever heard dad’s voice through an electronic. There is an association being made between dad and phones and radios, a faraway voice.

The mechanic of the kid saying "hello, [name]!" is very associated with toys, and then we say that to Bonbon in scene 3… Daddy is the radio, the mother never gets any metaphorical or warped form like that, and then there’s Bonbon. This in good part is what makes me think that Bonbon is somewhat considered like a toy too by the child, but unlike inanimate objects they have a will of their own. I think this mechanic is also meant to portray loneliness like I mentioned, that the kid always talks to the toys, always plays with toys, etc. It’s not "stop playing with your friends and come home", it’s the kid sitting on the floor with toys and playing away, and then Bonbon. The kid had the rat to stave through the loneliness I think, and visually/behaviorally it disturbed them even though it got categorized as a toy and then it also grew an association with father.

We’re building a dichotomy here. There is helpfulness and aggression. There is object = predictably safe and Bonbon the pet rat = unpredictably unsafe. And we’re coming closer to me saying it plainly, but I think Bonbon the humanoid rat monster is at once both the child’s literal pet rat, fused with the father, a way to visualize him that puts distance between him and the child, or the child and their parental trauma. I think the father’s bad is being absorbed by the child’s boogeyman vision of Bonbon, and I think the good and comfortable is associated with the radio, is relegated to that visual representation again. The good ol’ coping mechanism of compartmentalization. How to reconcile scene 3 with scene 4, if both Bonbon and the radio are the father? Which part of him is more important, which vision of dad should you go with? The one that’s scary or the one that’s soothing?

Bonbon is great I feel at showcasing what it feels like to be traumatized by the threat of danger but not it being fulfilled perse. Or yes it being fulfilled but- it’s about being scared in your daily life by someone. That suspense I spoke of. Bonbon is a coping mechanism, but in the pet rat becoming associated with the thing it’s helping the kid cope with, it becomes a source of dread also. If Bonbon is dad when he’s mean, then dad’s nice voice on the radio— dad when he’s not physically present- can be comforting instead of scary, because that wasn’t dad it was Bonbon. Personally of course this effect, the need to compartmentalize and dehumanize, reminds me of alcoholism, because when drunk it can truly feel like they become an animal- unpredictable, with baser instincts, more impulsive and primal and messy. Their patterns of behavior are all thrown off so in turn you recognize them less and that’s viscerally scary. If you can’t predict them and you can’t recognize them then it makes them something unknown that’s in your range and could do anything to you- if your brain is to be believed.

To summarize the story that gets told roughly, our poor protagonist gets tricked into doing a bunch of things by a rat guy he thinks is his ally to the rat’s benefit and the trickery is only revealed at the end, upon which the rat villain wins and the protagonist loses. The story reflects well the outline of the game, the first scenes compared to the ending, Bonbon revealing himself to not be as much of an ally as we’d like to think. It also reinforces this sense of helplessness, being at the mercy of others, and the theme of trust.

There are a lot of associations in the game, rat and dad, rat and distrust— which is perhaps why these three got tangled together in the first place. The story’s scenes evoke routine, so presumably this isn’t the first time they hear this storybook, so then just how formative was the story for them? Do they listen to it every night And then, my main argument, other associations: Toys and bonbon, toys and safety— If Bonbon, a pet, is a toy but he’s also a rat, then what is he? Safe or untrustworthy? Again the confusion from these contradictory associations could have been what kickstarted this analogical hot pot.

Bonbon as a pet being halfway between toy and unpredictable animal. Pets as more property than separate living being. Something that is not allowed to hurt you, but can sometimes surprise you with shows of agency and aggression if you neglect its warnings. Because pets are infamously easy to neglect and commonly mistreated, they’re often seen as possessions. Or yes, just toys for their kids, fish and small rodents especially. How many afternoons has the child spent inside, in the room of the end credits, with Bonbon in its cage as their only company… If the parents tend to neglect the child, who’s taking care of Bonbon? Bonbon might be our protagonist’s only friend-adjacent being. Like with toys conversations are also onesided with animals, and there’s also how a pet is a bit like the responsibilities of having a child, sometimes a violent one especially when starved or mistreated. There’s lot of things pulling them in different directions with Bonbon. So then we’re left with a mix of contradictory concepts and feelings, somethings that triggers your fight or flight but is too confusing to settle on anything, instead just leaving you restless yet used to it.

Associations like that a subconscious thing, human pattern recognition is a strong and instinctive thing. That his dad taught him that rats are to be distrusted and that he then visualizes him as a rat… I don’t think it was a conscious thing —and in many ways it’s a coincidence that both the pet they got and the story character were rats— but it could have become a subconscious way to rationalize both the fear the child feels (because they were taught rats are to be mistrusted so they’re validated in disliking and fearing it, not the way kids’ fear of their parents often get socially invalidated), to deflect and to warn themselves. They’re trying to rationalize and normalize it, has done so, but a part of their brain keeps begging them to be careful, to not trust it, to keep a distance and keep safe from it.

Deep fear, no alarm

So, final scene. You wake up in the middle of the night and hear your parents arguing, leaving the bed to take an eerie trip through darkned halls where supernatural things happen.

And something that interests me about the game is how the child never speaks up about their experiences with Bonbon right. Their mom cares, why not try to tell her, or get her help if they’re scared? But, why would you seek out help from mom or anyone in the first place? It’s scary, but it’s your normal. It’s normal so it’s nothing you can or should get help for. It’s just a natural part of life to endure, just a silly fear you’re unsure if you should have. What would asking for help or crying about it help, change, at all?

So after this then you get back to bed, still wondering, when will it snap? When will it snap? You hear an argument that you can’t tell the words of, but it’s dad and he’s arguing. The argument stops and now the silence is complete. But the angry one hasn’t stopped existing, he had to either go silent or go somewhere. Which is it, where is he? There’s a fear as you face away from the door. If you turn over, will that fear be confirmed or undermined?

The game abruptly ends on a jumpscare that occurs when the player character is in bed. Bed, the place that should be your safest, in your room. The same bed in which daddy radio nicely reads you a story, the same bed where Bonbon will get you. The framing feels like where a game would cut off and say "game over", what regardless of game over animation is usually synonymous with ‘death’. You as a player have to push a button to roll over, that triggers the jumpscare and thus progresses through the game. But this scene removes the artifice of agency that was present in previous scenes and Bonbon directly attacks the child player character at their most vulnerable moment, no matter how soon or late you push that button. Placed in the narrative’s broader context, it reads as an escalation of the abuse and as confirmation that the player character was always already powerless—the exchanges and negotiations of prior scenes were facades, and the abuser was never going to let the child assert themselves in any meaningful way. On a meta level, the game being a linear narrative (as opposed to offering the player meaningful choices that might affect the game’s outcome) reinforces this lack of agency communicated by the story and gameplay mechanics.  I was really intrigued by how well the interactive aspects of the gameplay contributed to tensions surrounding power and autonomy. I can’t not see it as being about the visceral experience of child abuse from a child’s perspective and logic, and I think it evokes those feelings so well without ever becoming so literal as to be triggering (for me), which was very welcome.

Making my research on this game’s reception like a scholar by reading Manlybadasshero’s comment section I saw many different theories and appreciative or unappreciative comments, and I have to say I think going "it strictly symbolizes the father or this specific trouble" or inversely "there’s nothing deeper to it" misses the purpose of ambiguity. In ambiguity there is the possibility of letting every individual in the audience come up with their own most satisfying conclusion yes- hence me being able to relate so much despite having never had a pet rat— but there is also an implicit nuance to be had, that things aren’t clear cut, and coping mechanisms or trauma or discomfort is something we can feel and visualize in big or subtle ways. The game is great at capturing a feeling, and I think that above piecing the lore is what’s important to experience with it. Of course, the game works to convey the experience of child abuse in general, and the game’s mechanics here articulate a vulnerability and sense of entrapment well regardless of whether they evoke that specific concept for a particular player.

Someone said that it should’ve been a short story instead of a game and, disagree. I think having it as a game instead of a short written story is good, because one the sound design is great, two the visuals are disturbing and the atmosphere– everything greatly enhances the whole thing. And most of all, as always, agency is the crux of games. Again it enhances the powerlessness here ironically, that you can do nothing, and it isn’t unrealistic, not when you’re a child in a home situation like that. And even as you the player are the one choosing when to roll over in that bed sealing your fate, you know it had only ever been a question of time.

Conclusion

The scenes can be referred to by time of day (afternoon, dinnertime, evening, nighttime) but also by room (backyard, living room, dining room, bedroom). By being a domestic horror slice of life story with a sense of routine we can assume these are snippets that embody the rooms for the child, the kitchen is for tense meals shared, the bedroom is for comfort and terror alike. I think it’s an interesting angle to ponder it from that I won’t go over more extensively since this is already so so long.

My thesis in the grand scheme of this is that Bonbon, the rat monster and not just the feral pet tat, is for the child that middleground between toy (predictable, safe) and animal (unpredictable, unsafe). It uses that complex ~harder to deal with and wrap your head around~ dynamic between material possession that’s also a living thing to show a child trying to cope with a relationship they don’t know how to understand or process. An attempt to make it more digestible, but mostly more stomachable I think. An attempt that fails, but an attempt nonetheless.

The unknown is scary, because then you don’t know wether you are safe or unsafe, and that uncertainty and confusion can be even more unsettling than knowing for certain that the enemy is hostile or aggressive. A nice video on the topic. This in good part is what can make us more afraid of animals, or people we can’t read well, etc etc.

I said that my own experience growing up was that I was under the occasional threat of corporal punishment, but the truth of the matter is— once you teach your child to be scared of you physically hurting them, the threat doesn’t feel occasional, it feels constantly lingering. On an edge, teetering, just waiting to be pushed and then you’re in danger again.

And there’s a lot of compelling things you could assume about the father. The game gave me the impression that he was an absent one, because his presence was through a phone and a radio, plus he misses your birthday, parents are heard arguing in scene 5 at night but it could be argued that there’s no proof the dad was ever even around or in the house during the game. If he was home in scene 5, was it because he got home from work or whatever he was doing or was it because he wanted to come even if say, they were divorced and he had a restraining order on him? How closely is the rat meant to be dad being physically present? Because I can also see the narrative where it’s the latter, where Bonbon coming crashing through the fence is a way for a dad to steal little moments with the kid it was discouraged to see again. The coaxing undertone to the first scenes can also recall grooming specifically. In the first two scenes, the dad is cautiously on his best behavior to gain your trust and approval, in the third one where he argues with mom on the phone he loses his temper, perhaps because he wasn’t welcome to the birthday party he’s invading as Bonbon, in scene 4 you try to calm yourself with memories of a better moment but in scene 5 he’s home and bad things happen. It’s notable that he never talks to us, either because he never asks to like in scene 3 on the phone and the child’s just that unimportant to him in the grand scheme of arguing with mom, or mom won’t let him. Mom talks to us but dad never does, closest is a radio telling us a story, again through a filter, through the object, a step removed, through distance. You could also say that there’s a contrast between mom and dad-bonbon, mom giving you directives and orders in a way that feels very warm and fond, and dad talking very little to you at all, instead coaxing and leveraging gestures in a way that feels disturbing and wrong.

someone brought up "if you give a mouse a cookie", the story where a mouse just asks for a cookie but if your provide it then it asks for milk then if you provide it it asks for a straw etc etc, and I think that’s an interesting link to make with the theme of ceding ground to an abuser with trust or complacency. It’ll always take more and more. Most explicitly represented in the cake scene.

I went with inconsistency as my core analysis theme but there is an argument to be made for the level of Bonbon’s intentionality in its actions, wether its gestures are purposeful to gain trust before abusing it, or wether it is truly acting on impulse and whims at all times, wether it was truly well-meaning in helping you with your tasks in the moment and angrily hungry the next. Ultimately, it matters little, because your cake still got ruined and you still got… Well. There is a lot of elements that give the game a somewhat dreamlike atmosphere, the hazy lighting being one, your garbling voice when speaking to the toys, and so much more. In the end all we can do is theorize for the sake of theorizing, and try to cope with the reality of things as the game showed us.