#it's just beautiful to see such positivity

[trivia-yandere]

doctor says the cure of cancer (which I have is)the second part of what are you willing to do??please cure ne pookie

you know what? hell yeah

what are you willing to do? (2)

jungkook has made good on his promise on a new apartment and in return, you showed him what you were willing to do to keep it.

word count: 4.094

warnings: smut, yandere tendencies, power imbalance, kissing, unprotected sex, dirty talking, handjob, oral sex, face-fucking, facial, hidden cameras, masturbation, cowgirl, nipple sucking,

part one

Jungkook wasn’t lying. He did have the perfect apartment for you.

You were nervous when you heard knocks at your door around noon the following day. You had spent the majority of your morning packing, unable to get your mind off of Jeon Jungkook and the entire situation. A part of you told yourself that there was no way Jungkook had that much pull as a property manager. Wouldn’t his father grow suspicious if you were suddenly in another apartment?

But, you learned Jungkook was a man of his word. Upon arriving at your door, he offered a short grin your way with gleaming eyes. Memories of just a few hours earlier pass through your mind and you fight the urge flowing through your body. “Follow me.” Jungkook had said and stepped aside a bit.

Jungkook had led you towards the elevator and takes you up a few floor levels. What you always knew was the higher, the better - and the more expensive. You were growing anxious when it takes longer than you expected to reach the floor; not the top, but certainly not where you were accustomed to. 

Upon the elevator doors opening, you noticed just how wide the hallway was - and lack of apartment doors. “There’s only around 5 apartments on this floor alone.” Jungkook told you - your floor had at least 10. Jungkook always has the keys to jingle in his hands as he leads you down the long hallway, each door so far apart that you’re positive that the inside is huge.

And you were right. Jungkook opens the door to the apartment - the door a mahogany color with carved wood and a gold handle - and opens to show you the apartment. Premium wasn’t the correct word, luxury was. The floor wasn’t hardwood like your current one and instead was tiled so clean that you could see your reflection as you strolled in.

“To you right,” Jungkoom states as he closes the door. He places a hand onto the low of your back. An action that shoots warmth throughout your body. “is a laundry room. Residents usually would have to buy their own washer and dryer. I got that covered for you.”

Jungkook flicks on the lights to show you the room - a large laundry room that already is stacked with a washer and dryer. The brand is expensive and you could tell by just the sight alone without the logo. There’s built-in wall shelves and cabinets for storage and the size alone of this one room is similar to your walk-in closet in your current apartment.

“I didn’t need that, Jungkook. I don’t want to waste your money…” you murmur, turning to him.

Jungkook allows a grin to form onto his lips. “It isn’t a waste if you have the money, Y/N.” he murmurs. He was reminding you just who he was. Property Manager - soon to inherit everything once his father retired. “Follow me.”

Jungkook proceeds to show you the entire apartment. High ceilings with expensive lighting fixtures. Stainless steel appliances, up to date features and space you never thought was possible - the apartment was beautiful. Far too beautiful and not what you were expecting. 

“It’s already furnished, as well. So…” Jungkook turns to you. You noticed now that he had his arm around your waist as he guided you throughout the apartment. “...you could get rid of your old furniture.”

You lick your lips, your eyes glancing around the apartment. Jungkook notices your hesitance and his hand squeezes your hip. “Do you…not like it?” he questions. There isn’t any malice or annoyance in his voice.

“What?” you scoff, snapping your head to him. “No! I do!” you say, entirely too quick. How in the world would he think you - someone with no job and money - didn’t like the luxurious and fully furnished apartment. “I just…are you sure it’s okay?”

Fingers tap along your waist gently as Jungkook speaks. “Of course it’s okay.” he quips. “I wouldn’t have you in here if it wasn’t.”

“It just seems like a lot.” you sigh out. “Eventually I’d have to pay for all of this. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to afford it.”

Jungkook hums a bit. It’ll be too vulgar of him to come right out and say “as long as you keep fucking me, you’ll have a roof over your head”. Instead, he shakes his head. “We had a deal, didn’t we?” he murmurs. His hands linger onto your hips, drawing you closer to him. “You do art. I was thinking the second bedroom could be like a studio for you.”

“I…really?” you blink. You hadn’t noticed the second bedroom as he only showed you the masters - a large spacious bedroom that had its own walk-in closet and master bathroom. 

“I told you that I’d be willing to buy your paintings, remember?” Jungkook allows a hand to slightly brush along your cheek and he gives you another curt wink. “You’re going to need space for all your work.”

Your eyes linger on Jungkook for a moment too long. Your lashes blink a bit as you begin to scan his face. You don’t detect any lies and your heart jolts at how…kind Jungkook was. Could you equate this with kindness? You were, technically, going to fuck him for this apartment. But, you supposed he could have kept you where you were at instead of elevating you to this.

“Can I kiss you?”

The question causes Jungkook to laugh and for your body to warm with embarrassment. You step away for a moment and Jungkook tilts his head.

“I’m not laughing at you.” Jungkook assures. “I’m laughing at how cute you are. You’re still so shy, Y/N. Even after cumming all over me just the night before.”

You bite the inside of your lip at how crude - and true - Jungkook’s words were. You glance away for a mere second before connecting your eyes back towards him. Jungkook is watching you, a tint in his eyes as he awaits for you to speak, and when you don’t, he does. “Yes. You can kiss me.” Jungkook murmurs.

Jungkook decides that even though you asked, he was going to have to be the one to make the first move. His right hand goes to cup your cheek and he lowers himself to press his nose against yours. He gently rubs his together with yours, grinning when you let out a snort. 

“I’m really appreciative of the apartment.” you say with lips mere inches from Jungkooks. Your breath tickles against his lips and it takes nothing to connect both of them together. “You didn’t have to do this…I could’ve stayed in mine.”

“You could've…” Jungkook agree’s. “...but you’re better than that apartment.”

You hum, leaning closer to press your lips onto Jungkook’s. Instantly, he deepens the kiss with a groan. He has been wanting to feel you on him since last time. It took everything in him to hold himself back - to wait until this moment. As much as he wanted you, he knew now - and onward - would be the perfect time.

Kissing Jungkook was hot - literally. The heat radiating off of him was like a furnace and it caused your mind to swirl. Your hands, unsure where to place them, go towards Jungkook’s broad shoulders.

“Do you need help moving your stuff in?” Jungkook asks between pecks. “Are your clothes packed?”

You exhale a bit. You didn’t care about your stuff - not now. You notice how good Jungkook smells; a surprisingly feminine scent that you ponder what cologne he wears. You didn’t want to ruin the moment by moving your stuff in when all you wanted to do was remain with Jungkook.

“Everything is packed.” you respond, a hand trailing down from Jungkook’s shoulder to his chest. You blink at him before continuing, “but I haven’t had the chance to thank you yet.”

“Thank me?” Jungkook furrows a brow, feigning ignorance. His hands go towards your hips now to bring you closer to him. You weren’t as shy as you were originally and Jungkook is appreciative of that. He finds that you’re cute when you’re shy - but he had no intentions of stopping this deal.

You nod your head. “You know what for, silly.” your fingers tap along his clothed chest, wishing to see it bare. Did Jungkook’s tattoo’s stop at his arm or did it scatter across his chest, as well? “I have to show you that I’m grateful.”

Dark eyes watch you, teeth catching his soft, thin lips. He’s anticipated continuing where you and he left off the following night. To get to taste you on his tongue once more and to listen to those cute, cute sounds you’d make.

“Yeah?” Jungkook hums, allowing you to take his hands in your and tugging him closer. Jungkook enjoys the softness in your touch, the slight hesitance, too. You were so cute, he thinks. The way you’re trying to lead yet there’s still a bit of shyness and uncertainty in your actions.

You lead Jungkook towards the large bedroom, still so astonished by how big it is just for one person. The bed doesn’t have any sheets yet, but it doesn’t bother you. You stop right beside it, turning to Jungkook who’s lips tug upwards.

“You’re so cute.” Jungkook murmurs, his hand squeezing yours a bit. He doesn’t say what he’s thinking out loud - how he feels as though he’s corrupting you a bit; exciting him to his core. 

Your body warms and a part of you is slightly embarrassed by how shy you were being with him. You and he grew acquainted on less than admirable circumstances but that doesn’t mean you need to be timid around him.

You let go of his hand and instead wrap both arms around his neck. You press your lips to his, slightly humming as he deepens it immediately. There wasn’t any chance you were going back - not when you were given an opportunity to stay here rent free and do exactly what you enjoyed doing. 

Jungkook’s arm fills with goosebumps when your hand trails down past his chest to his stomach then abdomen. His eyes blink away from yours to your hand - the same soft and delicate hand that now is making its way inside his pants. 

Jungkook is painfully hard, you note. His cock jolts when your palm makes contact with it over his underwear. His mouth falls open slightly when your hand squeezes his cock.

“I want you to cum.” you say with a slight tilt of your head. Your free hand tugs at Jungkook’s pants so you can slide them down. “Cum…wherever you want to cum.”

Your hand makes its way inside his underwear, his cock entirely warm. You swallow, your thumb rubbing along his tip, the warm wetness of his pre-cum coating it. 

“Wherever?” Jungkook moans. 

You nod your head, hand pumping.

Jungkook grunts, his eyes squeezing shut. He thinks of so many different locations where he could cum - in those soft hands. Maybe you’d let him cum on your breast - but all he could truly think about was coating your beautiful face with his cum. Having the chance to mark you so intimately causes something deep inside him to flame.

Without much thought, you drop to your knees. You tug his underwear down, eyes watching the way his coc springs out with anticipation. The tip is pink and angrily leaking with even more pre-cum than before. You lick your lips a bit.

“Wherever.” you murmur, eyes flickering to him a bit. He’s watching you with such intensity, eyes unblinking. Slowly, as if teasing him, your tongue licks the tip of his cock. His cum is a bit salty, but you’re more than willing to continue. 

You wanted to treat Jungkook the way he treated you, allowing you to cum all over him without anything in return. Your tongue swirls over his tip for a few moments, enjoying the sounds of his moans that only edges you on. It causes you to take the entirety of his cock into your mouth.

Jungkook’s head falls back, mouth agape. His breathing quickens, your warm mouth fully engulfing him and moist tongue sliding beneath the length of his cock. His moans, so low pitch and boyish, causes your knees to slide together and your thighs to clench. 

“You’re sucking so good.” Jungkook inhales sharply at the way you suckle against his cock sloppily. Saliva trickles down the corner of your mouth and now down your chin. Your eyes are glossy and to Jungkook, you look utterly cute.

Your mouth pops Jungkook’s cock from your lip with a choked cough. Your chest heaves a bit, glossy eyes blinking up towards Jungkook. 

“You,” Jungkook’s hand touches your cheek encouragingly. “look like a cock hungry whore.”

You’re sure those words would’ve offended you if said in other circumstances - and possibly if spoken by someone else. But it causes your stomach to churn in a good way and your thighs to clench closer together.

“Is that a bad thing?” you ask, eyes glancing back to Jungkook’s wet, glistening cock. 

“Of course not.” Jungkook smirks. “You’re showing me you’re grateful, after all.”

Your knees against the fresh hardwood floor begin to ache a bit, but you find that you don’t move a single muscle, waiting for Jungkook to make the next move. That, or you were going to go back to throating his cock. Whichever came first.

“Just how grateful are you exactly?” Jungkook murmurs his question with a raised eyebrow. “Grateful enough for me to fuck your mouth?”

You don’t respond verbally, and instead you open your mouth wide, tongue slipping out. You wait patiently for Jungkook to slip his cock back into your mouth, and when he does he wastes no time. He ruts his hips, watching the way his cock slips in and out of your wet mouth.

Somehow being used in such a way feels amazing; so demeaning yet so…lustful. The act of Jungkook, someone you barely know but share such a deep longing and attraction for one another, springing his cock in and out of your mouth. Completely using you for his own lustful desires just as you were using him for what he could provide for  you.

Jungkook groans, his grip on your head growing tighter. His eyes are pierced and focused on you and you solely. There’s tears in your eyes that’s trailing down your cheeks now, but it doesn’t appear to affect you. You were such a good whore, he thinks, good but still completely wholesome in ways that he cannot explain.

“Your mouth feels so good.”

Wet and warm your mouth was, squelching noise your throat makes as he plunges it in and out of you. The noises are so crude and slutty, his eyes never wanting to stop watching the sight that is you. You’re taking him so well, your throat closing in around him whenever his cock presents itself. 

“You’re such a good little slut, Y/N. So grateful to be here that you’d let me fuck your mouth, huh?” Jungkook groans, his thumb going to rub away stray tears from your eyes. 

Your throat aches and so does your jaw, but Jungkook was too hot to say no to. You're breathing through your nose as Jungkook continues to talk.

“I think I know where I wanna cum, Y/N.” Jungkook gasps, that familiar churning in his abdomen. 

Removing his cock from your mouth, you cough as air flows through your lungs now. A hand wraps around the shaft and he pumps his cock right above your face, warm ropes of cum coating your face. You’re surprised by the sudden action, but you aren’t upset in the slightest about the outcome.

Jungkook’s chest heaves at the sight of your face covered in cum that drips down your face. He ponders if the action was disrespectful for you, but then slowly your mouth twitches into a low smile and he knows just how good you were for him.

“Let’s clean your face.”

Jungkook helps you stand before he tugs you towards the master bathroom. It isn’t decorated to match your personality just yet, but there’s a few towels on the counter and that was enough for now. He takes a hand towel and wets it with warm water before turning to you.

Jungkook cleaning your face was…something. He wipes your face clean of his cum before offering you a low grin. 

“Do you want to move your things in now?” Jungkook asks. 

“In a minute…” you shrug your shoulders. You lick your lips, glancing away for a moment.

“Oh?” Jungkook raises a brow. “What do you want to do now?”

You and Jungkook both appear utterly insatiable. Your arms wrapping around his neck and lips greedily pressing to his own while his hands grip and tug at your naked skin. Your bodies crash out of the master bathroom and into the bedroom. You pushed Jungkook towards the bed and climbed on top of him. “This is what you wanted to do?” Jungkook chuckles. “We could’ve waited until you were settled in.” 

“I know but,” you’re hovering right about his already hardened cock. While in the bathroom, you assisted in Jungkook removing his clothes so he was just as bare as you. His tattoos stop right at his shoulders and his arms seemingly flex on impact. “I’m still grateful.”

Grateful and highly horny. Hearing the way Jungkook moans when you were sucking your cock was enough for you to want to fuck him now instead of later; but especially later, too.

Jungkook places a hand onto your hips while you center yourself at the tip of his cock. You slowly blink, feeling a bit foolish yet embarrassed. It’s far too late to worry about protection, isn’t it? You had his cock in your throat not too long ago.

“I…do you want to use a condom?” you ask, body warm. “I don’t do this often so I don’t have any-”

“I can pull out.” Jungkook squeezes your hips, lips twitching upward with how cute you were. 

You nod your head and continue to lower yourself onto Jungkook’s cock. It stretches you out in a great way, pussy squeezing around him. You gasp when you sit fully onto Jungkook, eyes blinking a bit.

Jungkook groans deeply, nails digging into your hip. It doesn’t take long for the sound of skin slapping to echo off of the walls; now more since the room is empty. It’s met with your moans, Jungkook’s groans and your squelching pussy. 

Your hands clench onto Jungkook’s shoulders for support as you continue to bounce against him. His cock springs in and out of you so heavenly, a feeling that you never want to stop. 

“Your pussy is a lot wetter than I expected.” Jungkook quips, his hands roaming upwards to grip your bouncing breast, his thumb rubbing along your nipple until it’s erect. “You must be very grateful.”

Jungkook leans forward a bit to capture your nipple into his mouth, tongue twirling the bud greedily. The countless times he’s seen you, beyond your knowledge, he’s pondered just who you were. How well you were in the area. If you had any significant others or anyone you were seeing. He gets his answer time and time again as he watches you come and go without anyone in tow. He’s replayed the cameras in the hallway just at the chance to see you more often.

Jungkook doesn’t have to do that anymore - now he’ll have a front row seat.

Jungkook’s hips buckle forward to meet you halfway. His tongue trails up from your breast to your collarbones. His teeth sinks onto your skin possessively, groaning into your body.

“Your cock feels so good.” you sigh out, your back slamming against the mattress as Jungkook takes control. He places both of your legs against his chest and pounds deeply inside of you.

Sex never felt this good, even if the circumstances weren’t ideal. Your pussy squeezes Jungkook’s cock, milking everything he was willing to give. Your arms are spawned out, fingers digging into the mattress for any hope of comfort.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” Jungkook grunts, opening your legs so he could come closer to you. His lips are centimeters from yours as he continues to speak.  “So, so beautiful. I’ve been wanting to fuck you for so long.”

Maybe if you were paying any ounce of attention, you’d notice just how Jungkook’s words hold a deeper meaning. But, you’re far too enthralled in the way he’s fucking you that it goes through your ears but don’t linger for long.

“You can keep fucking me.” you breath, pressing your lips onto his that he immediately deepens without a care. 

“I plan on it.” Jungkook murmurs against your lips.

Jungkook’s hand, wrapped firmly around his cock, continues to pump aggressively, his eyes on the camera. The sounds of your squeals pound through his headphones, his eyes unblinking. The way you take his cock only brings flashbacks of that day - and nearly everyday after that. 

“Fuck,” Jungkook grumbles, thighs quivering. “I can’t wait to fuck you later, baby.” he says as if you’re listening, but of course you aren’t. 

You’d never know about the cameras that are surrounding your apartment. Maybe others would say it’s an invasion of privacy, but to him it wasn’t. After all, it was his apartment that he was paying for monthly. He kept the lights on, the water and gas running. Hell, he even supplied the food you ate, much to your dismay that it was all too much. 

“Shit,” Jungkook feels it coming, the high he always gets whenever he watches these videos of the two of you back. “shit, shit, shit.”

Jungkook likes to think that this is how it’s supposed to be. Him having you so close to him while you remain home. You got the chance to focus on your art now without wondering if you were going to be evicted or not - all thanks to him.

Jungkook gasps when his high erupts, cum coating the palm of his hands. His thighs continue to quiver and jolt, his head hanging back.

Jungkook’s breathing is heavy, his headphones still sounding the video on the monitor. Slowly, his hand removes his slowly softening cock. He goes to take a few napkins from his desk and wipes his hand clean. He throws away the napkins and sighs, shaking his head.

Maybe this wasn’t morally right - cumming in his office while he was supposed to be working. But he missed you. Yes, you were just a few flights away, but still. You were working and so was he, but he couldn’t go another moment without you.

Jungkook clicks off of the old video and goes towards the live feed. His eyes roam around the apartment until he spots you and a smile forms onto his lips. He zooms in on you painting, your eyes focused.

Sometimes Jungkook likes to watch you paint. You would hum to yourself at times, or you’d listen to music. He was ecstatic when he discovered that you enjoyed the playlist he made for you.

Jungkook picks up his phone and dials your number. He doesn’t bother putting it to his ear as he could hear you just fine through his headphones due to the live camera feed. He watches you put down your paint brush and answer the phone with a soft smile onto your lips. “Kook, hey!” he hears you speak over the headphones.

“Hey.” Jungkoo raises the phone to his lips. “What are you doing?”

“Painting.” you say. “I can’t wait to show you later. I’ve finally decided on what I wanted to paint exactly.”

“I can’t wait.” Jungkook murmurs, his eyes flickering to the painting you’ve already started. “Is it something you’re willing to sell?”

You snort. “I’m not sure. I never sold art before. And no I’m not selling it to you.” you quip. “You do enough for me already.”

Jungkook snickers, but he’s already knowing that you aren't going to give up. “I’m thinking about ordering lunch. You can come down and meet me in my office.” he says, leaning back into his chair. He watches as your eyebrows furrow upwards. “If you’re too busy, I can just send you something up.”

“No,” you shake your head. You begin to stand. “I’ll come down now!”

Jungkook smiles and nods his head, though you can’t see him like he can see you. “Okay, I’ll be waiting.”

@sweetempathprunetree @darkuni63 @chimmy-licious @investedreader @babyitscoldoutside @yukooyuk @dream-lover200 @slut4jeon @burymeat @marylight098 @bangtans-momma @jimintopiaaaa

trivia-yandere: honestly like the story can be done here but who knows , i could always come up with a part one day 3 :3

[deathlygristly]

I find myself saying this phrase so often online these days: When I was 9 I read every book the local library had on the Holocaust. I remember being 9 or 10, looking up at the blue sky on a beautiful sunny day, and imagining the smoke rising.

WW2 became a special interest. In 8th grade we did a group project in social studies and each group got to pick a war. I told my group we were doing WW2, I did all the work, and the teacher told the other people they should kiss my feet for the A+ we got. I got that autism special interest power in me.

So it was pretty clear to me where we were headed when the hate and dehumanization started after 9/11. I remember in the days right afterward, I had hope. Hope that we'd come together, that we'd learn. But then the hate started, and the bombing, and the existential despair that I've been dealing with for over 24 years because we've been on this track since at least then. Some of us were on it well before, like for example Rush Limbaugh's Dittoheads in the 90s, but I think it was around then when it metastasized and started to spread to the rest of the body.

I don't try to warn people anymore. Well, I mean, warning now doesn't make sense because it's here, it's in your face, and if you still can't see it that's a personal choice that I can't help you with. But back in the day, I tried to warn people.

But they couldn't hear me, because Nazis were Other. They were Monsters, they were Evil, they were Them, not Us. Never Us. Even now I occasionally see people who support Trump and Musk who get offended at the comparison and immediately downplay it because to them Nazis are some weird amorphous Evil Other and/or just a word that "the libs" use as an insult, and not a clear example of what can happen when humans get deep into hate and hierarchy and othering and projecting their personal issues on people they deem of lower worth and denying reality.

On the other hand I have seen at least one example of a person who realized how many Nazis were agreeing with them and they started getting out and finding other perspectives, so there's that.

There's a phrase I often say: "Humans are gonna human." I use it to mean that humans are going to be short-sighted, impulsive, selfish, unthinking, conforming to a group no matter what, obsessed with status and hierarchy, irrational, and liable to do things that are extremely destructive to themselves and to others and to the planet. These are things that all humans do, and if you can't recognize it in yourself it's highly likely that it's because you're denying it and projecting it on to others in order to keep your idea of yourself as a moral righteous individual and to fit in with your clique of fellow moral outragers. That's a thing that humans do. ;)

If you can't give grace to others for being human you probably can't give it to yourself either, and you'll keep denying reality and projecting and hating and spewing your self-hate on to others in the grand human cycle of hatred and violence and destruction. The only way I know of to stop that cycle is to realize you're part of it and to work on yourself while giving grace to yourself and to others.

And no, that doesn't mean letting people who do serious harm get away with it. Simplistic black and white thinking like that is another thing that is humans being human and that we have to work on. It just means that, I don't know, if you're ever in the position to punish people who did serious harm you do it with justice instead of just doing what they did to you back to them. You can be imagining them suffering the way they made other people suffer the whole time. That's okay. But you can't actually starve them or beat them to death or put them in camps or gas them and burn their bodies in crematoriums, because then you have become them.

Basically, inside of you there are two wolves. ;) One is Fenrir, ready to set the world on fire. The other is just a normal wolf trying to live its life and be a natural part of its ecosystem. You gotta do your best to feed the normal one, because if you let Fenrir go you'll be the one turning other humans into smoke.

I thought it was fairly normal to feel empathy for bad people.

I thought it was common, even.

But after my Elon/Grimes post... now I'm wondering if I was mistaken about that.

I wrote a post about Trump being traumatized after his assassination attempt and a post about his poor adaptation to aging. I expressed sympathy for him in both cases. But I still maintain my white hot hatred of him and wish for him to face consequences.

Elon was abused by his father. Some of the stories are incredibly tragic. Hearing those stories triggers an involuntary response in my emotional systems that I can't stop no matter how much I despise present-day Elon. I also wonder if that abuse never occurred maybe we wouldn't be dealing with this current clusterfuck.

I have never held so much anger towards a single person as I do my brother. But I also see him as a victim of abuse. I know he was once a really good person and he was slowly corrupted. I feel sorry for him. I mourn the amazing person he used to be. And I still love him.

But that doesn't make me any less angry.

[starsandsuch]

Planets Conjunct The Midheaven: How Are You Perceived By The Public ? 🪐

Your Midheaven sign represents your reputation and what you’re known for. The planet(s) conjunct your midheaven add another layer to how the public perceives you. How do people view you based on planets near your Midheaven? Let’s find out.

Sun conjunct MC ☀️

Your identity and who you are is on display to the public. This is a fame placement. Many people know your name, who you are and what you do professionally. Your presence in the public eye is authoritative. You naturally gain respect from the public without trying. You are undisputed as the best at what you do. You are seen as peerless. Your status makes people jealous of you and want your position in life. You belong in the public eye.

Moon conjunct MC ☁️

Your soft side is on display to the public. People recognize you for your feminine energy. You seem soft and sweet to the public. To me this placement shows someone who is good at manipulating the public. People see your innocence and charm which make them like you a lot. You are naturally seen in a pleasant way.

Mercury conjunct MC ✏️

Can guide, direct, and influence the masses through speech. Good public speaker. Tends to be seen as “relatable” to the masses. People hang on to every word you say. Makes people laugh effortlessly. Comedian-like energy. The public perceives you to be knowledgeable and charming. The public knows you for what you vocalize.

Venus conjunct MC 🍭

Pretty privilege personified. Everyone finds you beautiful. Lowkey one of the best places to have Venus. Since Venusian energy is blessing your reputation, people see you as likable, beautiful and pleasant. You become a source of pleasure to people. People love watching what you do. This placement is great for tv or being in the media, people love watching you on their screens. Marilyn Monroe had this placement.

Mars conjunct MC ☄️

You’re seen as an agitator to the public. You cause varying reactions amongst people. They love you, they hate you, they talk about you. Either way you cause quite a stir without much effort. You can experience not being treated nicely by the public at some point in your life. Mars is war & combat, which shapes the themes of your reputation. So you are known to be in public feuds, or people are mad at you just for existing. You don’t back down easily though, you’re seen as a fighter. You’re seen as powerful and tenacious. These natives I noticed kind get hated on for no good reason? Maybe it’s because you’re a s3x symbol. The public sees you as someone who is physically appealing. They hate you bc you’re sexy.

Jupiter conjunct MC 👑

Jupiter expands and amplifies your reputation in a positive way. This makes you known by many people, to the point of being “famous”. This is a placement where you don’t actually have to put much work into being famous, it just happens for you easily. The public sees you as victorious in most situations. You always come out on top. You’re seen as a very lucky person, and you are. The public sees you in a wholesome and favorable way, you are well liked, well known and popular. Whatever you want to happen in your career, zaddy Jupiter makes it happen. You’re destined to be successful in a big way and nobody can stop that. If Santa Claus was a real person, he’d have this placement in his chart.

Saturn conjunct MC 🪐

You are seen as an authority figure. People know not to question you or undermine you. You are seen as someone to have all the knowledge, and distribute it accordingly. You seem older than you are to the public, due to your authoritative disposition and wisdom you have. The public recognizes your authenticity and straightforwardness. Once your reputation is built, it’s permanent and unmovable. Your reputation is long lasting and even precedes you after death.

Rahu conjunct MC ⚡️

Your known as a game-changer to the public. Something about you is just different from anyone else. You’re uniqueness and quirks are on display to the world. You are a pioneer and someone who questions tradition. You’re seen as someone who pushes society forward. What you do is perceived as futuristic. You are recognized as 1 of 1.

Ketu conjunct MC 🕷

This placement makes the public confused about you. People know who you are, but do they really? You’re mysterious. All your past life karma is activated here, in pertinence to your public image. So alot of stuff that happens to you publicly is just destined to happen and you yourself can’t even stop it. The fact that you have disinterest with fame or notoriety make people want to know more about you. You’re an enigma.

Pluto conjunct MC 🌪

You’re seen as powerful and mysterious to the public. You seemingly yield some sort of power no one else has. You trigger obsession in other people. Your transformations are on display to the public. You’re this dominant force that can overpower anyone and everyone. You seem intimidating without trying to be. You’re seen as strong and competent. People are always talking about you, especially when you’re not around. The public wants what you have, your power is enviable. Celebs with this placement have a cult like following.

Neptune conjunct MC 🌀

You seem mysterious, magical and enchanting to the public. Something about you is seductive and enticing. You’re enigmatic. People always want to know more about you, but usually never get the satisfaction of actually knowing you. They know an illusion of you, but who are you really? You’re a puzzle in the public’s mind. You are seen as a fantasy that no one can grasp. You’re beauty and aura seems otherworldly.

Uranus conjunct MC 💥

You are seen as a game changer to the public. You disrupt the landscape of the industry you’re in, which facilitates positive change to happen. People never see you coming, yet you leave a big impact with your actions. People don’t like change, but they need it, and you’re the one to bring it. You are perceived as unpredictable and unorthodox. Things you do often have a profound sense of shock value to it. People with this placement post on socials and others see it and are like *jaw drops* “did you see what ___ posted?!!🤯”. You could have a few viral moments because of this. Since Uranus relates to electricity, word about you travels fast and far. The impacts you have on others is “electric”.

Divider credit: @uzmacchiato

[meowgumi10]

Husband!Sukuna NSFW alphabet (request!)

Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

-he’s kind, cleans you up and maybe asks Uraume to run you both a nice bath

-he likes to keep a hand on your lower stomach, he loves the idea of getting you pregnant

-he just admires you if you sleep straight after, the woman he loves and adores

Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

-on you it would be your eyes, he can see every emotion and most importantly they’re beautiful

-he loves eye contact durning sex, or even when you two are just talking

-on himself it’s probably his arms, he’s able to cuddle you perfectly (especially if this is true form sukuna)

-his hands are large and his biceps even bigger so he can carry you around, hold you, protect you

Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

-he cums way to much, like it gets to a point

-it’s thick and creamy, like double cream (the closet thing i could think of )

-he LOVES filling you up, and will every single time

-with you he loves the taste of you, will slurp it all up after devouring you

Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

-he’s into bondage but is always afraid of scaring you, the last thing he wants is to scare the love of his life

-he loves shibari, definitely has some books on it

-would love to see the bright red rope wrapping around you in intimate ways, allowing him to open you up in anyway he likes

-he has the red rope but is always reluctant to bring it up

Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

-knows what’s he doing honestly

-he’s very familiar with the human body, especially a woman’s and not just in a sexual sense (bros a cannibal)

-he’s not all that experienced in ‘making love’ but he definitely figures it out for you

Favorite position (this goes without saying)

-missionary, mating press, spoon fucking (cuddling and fucking at the same time)

-anything that keeps you two close and makes it intimate

-he likes cowgirl but only if your really pressed up against him, his arms around you as he kisses you softly

-he doesn’t mind letting you set your own pace

Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

-I think he’s more serious, for him sex with you is him showing his love and his love is definitely serious for you

- he does like teasing, he might occasionally make fun of you if you whine too much

-though if you weren’t as serious he’d definitely play along

Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

-he doesn’t give a single fuck

-he never touches it, lets it grow and do whatever it likes

-but if you do get annoyed he’d trim it

-of course his pubes are pink like his head hair

Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

-so romantic you might actually cry sometimes

-on a regular basis he’s sweet and intimate, but if it’s your birthday or an anniversary he goes all out

-candles, roses, new sheets, he might even take you to a big fancy hotel so he doesn’t have to worry about cleaning up after

-he loves you and communicates that’s clearly

Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

-before you he had at least 5 girls that were always on stand by and of course after you two got together there was only you

-he probably hasn’t jacked off since he started getting girls, he doesn’t like how his own hand feels anyway

Kink (one or more of their kinks)

-breeding kink 10000%

-he doesn’t care about gender actually he’ll still try and get you pregnant (or at least fuck you like he is)

-hot take but I think he’d like to be dominated sometimes, not as in get peggged (well maybe) but he’d let you take charge and do whatever you like with him

-maybe even dacraphilia, if he saw you crying from pure pleasure he might cum in the spot.

-the fact that he’s making you feel so good you just start to cry would definitely be a thing he loves

Location (favorite places to do the do)

-anywhere in the house honestly, he prefers the bed but you two have definitely fucked in every room

-I’m not sure about public places, I think he’s too possessive over that,plus he wants you to always be comfortable

-if you’re into it he might do it but typically he wouldn’t

-he might love a jacuzzi or the ocean/sea (imaging the twilight scene rn), it just feels very romantic

-but no matter what he’d never let anyone see your body

Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

-seeing you be confident would definitely get to him

-if you do something for him, like bake him a cake or pack him a nice lunch, then you’ll definitely be getting it

-of course seeing you in something sexy gets him, but if you two have kids and he sees you just in a t shirt and some shorts as you cook breakfast for him and the kids he’d go crazy

-he loves that domestic image of you

No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

-like I said before he won’t let anyone see you let alone touch you so threesomes are a big no

-he wouldn’t like hurting you, like really hurting you, he wouldn’t mind some spanking and light choking but anything past that wouldn’t be appealing to him

Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

-he of course loves to receive, if you decide to go down on him with your perfect mouth then he’s over the moon

-but he gives head like a dog, he loves eating you out and would make you cum at least 3 times before letting you go

-he loves your pussy and it’s heavenly taste

Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

-he’s a slow and sensual type, he’d do fast and rough on rare occasions where he needs to really let some stress out

-he’s a romantic when it comes to you so he’d be slow with his thrusts and talk you through it nicely

Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

-they’re not his favourite, he’d do it if you want one but it wouldn’t be his suggestion

-he likes to take his time with you

Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

-he’d try most kinks, but he of course has limits

-if your super kinky he’s into it, he’d love a nympho wife, but if you’re more vanilla he also likes that.

-No matter what he always makes sure you’re into it

Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

-this guy doesn’t stop, he could honestly go all night

-he has a high stamina, like really high (all that gym paying off)

-there’s been times where you’ve almost passed out but he was still going like it was only the second round

Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

-like I mentioned before he has rope, he might use a remote control vibrator on you sometimes for fun but only around the house

-he’d have sexy outfits for both you and him, stuff for role play and such

-I don’t think he’s big on toys but he doesn’t mind them

Unfair (how much they like to tease)

-he’s playful and likes to tease, especially durning foreplay or just when flirting with you

-he might like to hear you tell him you belong to him so he makes you say it so you can cum

-he can be teasing but he’s not horrible about it

Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

-he’s a big talker of course, sometimes he just won’t stop talking

-now he’s not ashamed to moan but he’s more of a growler/groaner

-his voice is so sexy so any noise he makes is perfect

Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

-he has a thing for chubby girls so if your plus sized hes the man for you

-it’s honestly my favourite trope, massive gym guy with a chubby girl (we need more representation fr)

-and durning sex he likes to watch things…bounce

X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

-he’s big, like a person of course he’s massive but damn

-as a human let’s say he’s about 6’4, he’s very buff I mean he attends the gym religiously, so his cock… it’s a monster

-you were kinda very scared your first time together but he was patient with you

-of course deep in your relationship you can take it like a boss

Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

-he needs you 24/7, he is able to control himself but most of the time he doesn’t want you

-he’s down bad, I mean he married you and sukuna isn’t an easy guy to tie down like that

[salemlunaa]

𖥸∘˚YOU ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU KNOW𖥸˚∘

don’t force it, just let go.

There are people who go to sleep in one bedroom apartments and wake up in mansions. There are people who go to sleep with a body or face they hate and wake up with new ones. There are people who go to sleep hating their school life, family and friends and wake up with all of that changed. There are people who go to sleep living a life they dread and wake up with their dreams. Why not you.

You are so much more powerful than you know. You are the operant power of this reality and all the other realities. As I once said, these realities are your children, they are of the same relation to you and the same proximity. It is you running through their veins. You aren’t doing this extravagant thing by creating and shifting timelines to a new reality, you are taking your awareness and placing it in a reality that already exists.

You can leave anytime you want. In fact, top panicking and realise you’ve already left. A lot of you promised to yourselves that you would get your dream life over the break, over the weekend, over night and you panic when you don’t see anything. How many times will you do this? Stop the panic, the outerman isn’t you and sees nothing but limitations. There’s nothing to panic over because it is done and there’s nothing left to do. You wouldn’t be panicked about a cruise trip if you were there.

The words “OMG school starts on monday and i STILL haven’t been on my cruise trip, im so upset i feel like a loser” wouldn’t be uttered if you’re already on the cruise, sipping one of those cute drinks with the tiny hats. So stop panicking about wasted time when you’re already there and there’s nothing to do. Don’t get worked up over nothing, the 3d isn’t real.

All you need to do to induce pure consciousness is focus on the darkness in your eyes, set an intention to induce the state of “I AM” and make up scenarios, count, sing in your head. do whatever. Forget yourself, stop trying to relax, stop forcing it, stop looking for symptoms stop trying to immerse yourself in the feeling and let it happen naturally. You don’t force yourself into the state of awake and asleep so why is it any different with pure consciousness.

∘˚ 𓆸∘˚

Think of yourself being in a pool, there’s two of you. One version of yourself is being let down gently into the water and the other version of yourself is letting you down. Think of a baptism type of position. When you are fully immersed in the water you are pure consciousness, and you will come out of the water as your desired self. But what you must do is let it happen naturally. You can’t push yourself underwater. You can’t drown yourself or the water won’t accept you.

Let yourself down gently. Stop trying to force yourself into pure consciousness, stop forcing the immersion or it won’t accept you. Like how if you force yourself into the state sleep you’ll just sit in bed eyes shut waiting to it to happen. It isn’t until you let go and finally give up trying that you eventually fall into the state of sleep. That’s it. Give up, give up trying and let go. Assume you’re in the water already and before you know it you’re fully immersed in that body of water.

When we say falling into the state of pure consciousness is as easy as breathing, we’re not just trying to motivate you are trick your minds into thinking it’s easy as a form of help. It’s the truth. It’s a state, that’s all it is, just as is sleep and being awake right now, think of how effortless it is to fall into between sleep and wake. That’s all pure consciousness is. Failure to do this does not exist.

You can leave anytime you want and within an instant. Assume you have mastered this simple yet beautiful art and you will have, assume you’re there already and you will be. It takes a second to flip your thoughts and begin. You don’t need a routine or a days worth of affirming or any challenge. If you believe that is a must, you don’t understand what this is.

Go, simply because you can.

YOU CAN do this, why not now? Don’t let your fear of failing and “letting yourself down” allow you to procrastinate, failure doesn’t exist.

YOU ARE YOUR ONLY BLOCKAGE, CHANGE THAT AND LET YOURSELF GO

[ikeuluvr]

Can I Have This Dance? || Park Jongseong

synopsis - long distance sucks. especially when your boyfriend can't be with you to be your date to your very last high school dance. good thing bf!jay has a few tricks up his sleeve.

non-idol!jay x fem!reader / established long distance relationship - angst + fluff / warnings - none! / word count ~1.7k

part of ikeuluvr's song series ᵔᴗᵔ — works inspired by songs! requests are open for other songs + anything else you would like to see from me <3

masterlist join my taglist

Jay stares longingly into his phone screen, a soft smile pursed on his lips as he watches you show off your final look for the school dance over FaceTime, “You look absolutely beautiful honey,” he hums, his eyes raking over the entire screen to take in all of you, “I’m so sorry I can’t be there to be your super sexy date.”

You let out that adorable laugh that Jay loves so much, making his heart flutter as you walk to your bed and sit on the edge. Your endeared smile falters a little bit, turning into a sadder one as your eyes glance away from your phone screen, “Don’t apologize, Jay, it’s not like it’s your fault. Besides, you’ll be here next week, so there’s no reason to be sad.”

Jay has always hated the way you act like being long-distance isn’t killing you even though he knows it is. Your positive outlook on life is the greatest thing he admires about you, but he also wishes you’d let your walls down and tell him what you’re really feeling. You both know it hasn’t been easy since he moved across the country 8 months ago for his mom’s job, going from seeing each other every day to every few months. It was even worse knowing it was right before the beginning of your Senior year, forcing you to miss out on all the major “lasts” of high school together.

“Hey…” Jay starts to say softly, “Look at me, sweetie.” Your head tilts to face your phone screen again, meeting Jay’s apologetic eyes through the electronic barrier. “You know you don’t have to pretend like you’re not upset, right? You can tell me if you’re sad, Y/N.”

A soft sigh falls from your lips knowing he’s right; hell, he’s always right. You can see the look in his eyes that you know so well—the gentle, pleading look that makes you both guilty and adored at the same time, “I know, I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to feel bad, and honestly, pretending that it is okay is helping me not create a puddle of tears right now,” you huff as you fiddle with the frill of your dress.

An immediate frown forms on Jay’s lips, his heart clenching at the mere thought of you crying, “Oh honey, don’t cry! Your makeup is way too perfect to ruin right now,” he chuckles, a soft smile overtaking his face to try and get you to smile too. With success, your frown turns upward slightly, the tears threatening to fall sucking back in, “There’s my girl…” Jay cheeses, “Don’t let that frown turn upside down again tonight, you hear me? You’re going to have the best time with your friends, take the most jaw-dropping photos that I’ll drool over later, and party the night away. Just make sure to save a dance for me, yeah?”

You nod with the same sad smile painted on your face as you stare at your boyfriend through the screen. Right on time, the doorbell rings downstairs meaning that your friends have arrived to pick you up, “Shoot, I have to go, love.”

“No worries, baby. Have so much fun tonight, okay? Send me lots of pictures,” Jay tells you, a gentle smile on his lips to hide that he’s also devastated that he can’t be with you right now, “Love you, sweetie.”

“Love you too. Talk to you later,” you blow a kiss at the screen to which Jay catches on his end with a soft laugh. You both hang up, the new silence of the bedroom deafening. With a heavy heart, you grab your heels and purse before heading downstairs to meet your friends.

୨♡୧

The music blasting in the gymnasium is almost overwhelming as you sit at the table you and your friends claimed in the corner. The bass booms in your chest and your ears ring as each song plays; the stench of teenage sweat and pre-gamed alcohol fills your nose with every passing second. The night had been hard enough with you being the only member of your group without a date, having to take pictures alone, and now watching everyone slow dance while their eyes glimmer with love. You tried hard to at least pretend like you were having fun by keeping a smile on your face just as Jay asked you to during your call that evening, but as the night progressed, it was becoming impossible.

The final straw of the night snuck up on you as you watched your friend get dragged onto the dance floor by her boyfriend, leaving you entirely alone at the table. A choked sigh caught in your throat as you felt your eyes turn glossy thinking about how Jay should be sitting next to you right now—how Jay should have his arms around your waist as you cling to him on the dance floor—how Jay should be laughing as you embarrass him with your obscene dance skills—how Jay should be taking cringy photos with you in front of the ugly backdrop—how Jay should be here.

A single tear escapes your eye and rolls down your cheek as you sniffle softly, this supposed “magical night” turning into what will become a miserable memory. As you wipe away the lonely tear with your hand, a gentle tap on the edge of your shoulder makes your body flinch in place.

“No thanks, I’m really not in the mood to dance right now,” you say through a sniffle to whoever is behind you.

“Wow, babe. Even with me?”

Your head raises, the tears and sniffles coming to an immediate halt as you hear the voice of the person hovering over you. As you slowly turn around in your chair, your entire body falls numb and your brain scrambles to figure out if you’re hallucinating this moment. It’s like time stops once you see him towering over you with a bright smile plastered onto his face, a plastic box with a corsage matching the color of your dress in his hands.

“Jay?” you question almost in a whisper, entirely in disbelief that your boyfriend is standing before you in the flesh.

“Who else would it be, love?” he laughs, his shoulders rising and falling as he does. Without another beat, your body catapults out of the seat to attach to his, your head falling into the crook of his neck, exactly where it’s supposed to be. His arms instinctively find their home around your waist as he pulls you impossibly closer to him and lays a feather-like kiss on your neck.

Jay feels the wetness of your tears on his skin, making him shiver slightly before he pulls away just enough to see your face. His hands move from your hips to cup your cheeks as he wipes your tears with the pads of his thumbs with a soft laugh, “Hey… hey, hey, hey don’t cry, pretty girl. Your mascara’s already running, baby.”

“Why- are you- how are you- here?” you ask in between gasps for air, making Jay laugh a little bit harder as he holds your face in his hands like you’re the most precious thing in the world.

He shrugs with a sly smile, “Let’s just say I booked my flight for a week too early.”

You let out a half-exasperated laugh as you take a step back to wipe your tears with the sides of your hands, “God, you’re so freaking insane.”

“Only insane for you, my love.” Jay coos and leans in to leave a kiss on your forehead, letting his lips linger on your skin for a brief moment.

Your eyes roll at his retort, a smile finally making its way onto your lips as the waves of shock start to leave your body. Jay chuckles as he watches you come back down to Earth, his hand raising to brush a few strands of hair out of your face.

“Is that for me?” you ask him, glancing down at the corsage in his hand.

“Oh yeah!” he exclaims, seemingly to have forgotten about it already. Jay pops the box open carefully and pulls out the corsage while you raise your right hand to let him put it on you. He pulls the elastic and gently slides it over your wrist, “There we go. Do you like it?”

You nod frantically, your eyes still glazed over from the earlier tears with a stupid happy smile on your face. Jay caresses your cheek gently as you admire the corsage on your wrist, moving his thumb to wipe away the last remnants of mascara from under your eye before speaking again, “Now… I asked you to save a dance for me, didn’t I?” he asks as he holds his hand out for you to take, “Can I have this dance?”

Without another thought, your hand is in his as he guides you to the dance floor, his hands grasping onto your waist and your arms wrapping around his neck as the song starts to play. The two of you sway to the rhythm like one entity, a comfortable silence falling in between you while you savor the feeling of being able to touch one another again. Jay pulls you closer tenderly until your bodies are pressed together with not a sliver left between you. He plants a delicate kiss on the tip of your nose making you giggle.

“I wish you never have to leave again,” you suddenly say somberly, causing Jay’s heart to drop.

He sighs with a sad smile, nodding in agreement, “I know, me too, love,” he whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear so he can see your face, “But even a thousand miles can’t keep us apart, cause my heart is wherever you are, my sweet girl.”

Your eyes gloss over again as you take in his words, your heart overflowing with love and adoration, “I love you,” you tell him faintly as the two of you continue to move to the song blaring around you.

Jay pulls you even closer, letting your head rest against his shoulder, allowing him to kiss the top of your head and mumble into your hair, “I love you more, Y/N.”

@jellyluv4eva @wonnieluv

[7brownsuga7]

Reassurance | Taehyung

MDNI!

Taehyung had a habit of making you watch yourself in the mirror as he pleased you. The glow of the dimly lit room casting a soft golden hue over your reflection. Taehyung standing behind you, his chest flush against your back, his arms wrapped securely around you.

Presence solid, warm, and intoxicating. His dark eyes meet yours in the mirror, filled with something deeper than desire—something reassuring, grounding.

“You look so beautiful like this,” he murmurs, voice thick with admiration as his hands trace slow, deliberate patterns over your bare skin. His lips brushing your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

Your breath hitches as his fingers glide lower, teasing, testing. “You’re doing so well for me, baby,” he whispers, the deep tone of his voice washing over you like a lullaby. He knows he has you in a vulnerable position - bare and open. But he’s proud of you, he wants you to see what he sees every time he touches you and fucks you. You should be able to witness how beautiful you look when you take him.

His finger circles around your wet hole - collecting the moisture before sliding in between your folds. You jerk at the soothing and sinful touch, chest rising as you study yourself in the mirror. Your face flushed, skin glowing, and eyes glimmering. Your eyes lower to his slender fingers as they rub your clit - causing your knees to buckle.

“I’ve got you” his voice soothes you as you adjust to the feeling of this intense pleasure. His hold around you tightens when he adds a finger inside you, slowly pumping it in and out - earning a few breathless sighs from you. Every whispered praise, every slow stroke of his fingers, every deliberate movement pulls you deeper into the moment, into him.

Your fingers clutch at the cool surface of the vanity, your body arching into his touch. “Taehyung…” you gasp, eyes fluttering shut, but he tuts softly, one hand tilting your chin back up.

“Look at yourself,” he orders gently, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “I want you to see how perfect you are—how much I adore you.”

His touch is slow, reverent, as if he’s savoring every inch of you.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “Every part of you. Do you see what I see?”

You nod, breath catching as his fingers trace down your sides, teasing, exploring. He watches your expression in the mirror, eyes dark yet tender. When your gaze flickers downward, hesitant, he tilts your chin back up with gentle fingers.

“Don’t look away,” he whispers.

His hands continue their slow worship, and a soft whimper escapes your lips. He shushes you sweetly, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “You’re doing so well for me, baby. Just relax. Let me take care of you.”

You exhale shakily, leaning into him, trusting him. He strokes soothing circles into your skin, grounding you. “I’ve got you,” he reassures. “I always do. Just focus on me. Focus on how good you feel.”

His movements become more deliberate, his lips trailing along your neck as he whispers, “You deserve this. You deserve to be cherished.”

And in that moment, with his warmth surrounding you, his touch guiding you, you believe him.

[bedards-bunnie]

Exactly, and I really do love that. Not to get all sappy, but recently I have dealt heavily with weight/eating habits. I love the boys, I really do, but even though I see them in a positive light, I still don’t feel like they could ever love me or see me as beautiful because of how much I dislike my body. I think a lot of us probably get caught up in comparing ourself to their wags. We’ve just gotta remember that they have more money than us and are able to look beautiful 24/7 being that they’re constantly in the public eye. I’m sure they’re insecure about things too.

Gah not to rant, but really, inclusivity is incredibly important because everyone deserves to be represented

Every Inch of You

Pairing: Nico Hischier x Fem!Reader (Mid to plus size, reader is described as being heavier, curvier with a stomach, wide hips etc.)

Warnings: Insecurities, body dysmorphia

Summary: You're feeling a little insecure before going to a fundraising dinner with Nico for the Devils. He's there to remind you how much he loves all of you.

Notes: As a curvier girl myself I really enjoyed writing this request from an anon for a curvier reader and Nico. Definitely agree that he's least likely to really care about someone's body type and just fall in love with someone for who they are.

First time writing Nico, so if it sucks...sorry.

Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :)

Writing Masterlist

You have a love-hate relationship with the formal events that you attend as Nico's girlfriend. On one hand the idea of helping raise money for amazing causes while getting dressed up to spend a night with your boyfriend? Amazing. On the other hand? All the eyes on you, the gossip blogs, the comments on instagram and twitter all pulling you apart just because you were dating Nico...on the other hand, your own insecurities coming to the forefront whenever you stood in front of a mirror because you weren't the stereotypical WAG type.

It was just a fact. WAGs were typically skinny, thin and leggy, often blonde and conventionally attractive. You loved the other WAGs, some of them your closest friends but you knew you didn't look like them. You were on the heavier side, curvy. The gossip blogs often questioning why Nico would be with you, the sort of questioning and commentary you'd had your whole life, the sort that wormed its way into your subconscious until you found yourself second guessing your worth to the point it was second nature to do so.

Like now. Stood in front of the bedroom mirror in the expensive dress Nico had helped you pick out just for this event turning this way and that as you second guess how you look in it. The red silk shows every curve on your body, over the width of your hips, the dips where your love handles rest, the soft plushness of your stomach and the rolls of your back. In the shop you'd felt beautiful in it, Nico going slack jaw the moment you stepped out of the dressing room. Now? In your own home with an impending and very public event about to happen? You felt insecure, uncomfortable, already imagining some of the comments the internet would have about your body and your relationship.

"Schatz, are you ready?" Nico is adjusting his tie, not looking at you quite yet as he hitches it up to the top button of his white dress shirt. It's the silence from you, the deafening quiet that has those brown eyes snapping up. You look beautiful but that's not what he fixates on, it's the mismatch of your beauty with your clear discomfort that has his attention.

You try to put on a smile but Nico has always seen through you. His eyes track over you from head to toe. The way your dress clings to his favourite curves, how the colour brings out the warmth in your skin, but most of all the way you hold yourself. The subtle shift of your arms over your stomach to hide it, the tense set of your shoulders that says you feel uncomfortable, and the way your smile doesn't reach your eyes.

"What is wrong, Süessi?"

"Nothing, I'm fine, i'm nearly ready..." You turn back to the mirror, finishing the last touches to your hair. Your voice shaky because you've never been a very good liar and you've never been able to fool Nico.

"Schatz..." He's slow as he comes up behind you, steps deliberate so you don't feel rushed or trapped. Nico's hands fall on the widest part of your hips, fingers digging into the plush skin there in the way he loves. You shy away from his touch and that's confirmation enough that you're not fine. "I will ask again. What is wrong? Why are you pulling away from me, Schatz?"

He doesn't really let you go far, hands tightening their grip to pull your back against his chest, mouth falling on the soft skin of your shoulder as dark eyes watch you through the mirror. He's assessing you, making note of every reaction, every twitch, anything that will tell him what's going through your mind.

"I just..." How do you tell someone who loves you that you don't feel beautiful? That you can't understand why they feel the way they do about you."

"Schatz?"

"I...feel ugly." You whisper it, like saying it too loud will make it real. Almost scared to say it as if it confirms it. You watch him through the mirror, how his expression shutters, closes down at your words, how Nico takes a deep breath as if he needs a moment.

"Why do you feel that?" He's trying really hard not to invalidate your feelings, knowing they come from somewhere, even as everything in him roils and writhes against it. You're so utterly gorgeous to him inside and out and it never fails to feel like a personal failing when you have these off moments and off days. Like he's not loved you enough for you to love yourself.

"I...I just...I don't look like the other girlfriends..." He watches your hands graze your stomach, your sides and he knows. You don't have to tell him, he knows what you're getting at without words, can see it in the way you focus on the softness of your stomach, the dips at your side. He hates the critical eye you look at yourself with.

"In what way, Schatz? I want to hear you say it." So that he can pull it apart, so he can address it, tell you all the ways your differences make you beautiful.

You clear your throat out of nerves, not wanting to say the words aloud. Not wanting to give them meaning, give them air.

"I...I'm fat. I'm not skinny like them, I...my stomach's not flat and my thighs are big and...I just feel ugly..." Your gaze is fixed on your body, the way it looks in the silk dress, how Nico's hands don't look as large against you as they might against someone else...how you can't wear his t-shirts like dresses and how you're not so dainty, so petite as the other Devils' girlfriends.

"You are not ugly. You could never be ugly."

"Nico..." You go to break his gaze in the mirror, to look at the ground, but he doesn't let you, a hand coming up to lift your chin and centre your gaze back on him.

"Let me speak, Schatz, listen." He's firm with you, not unkind, but firm. Your mind is a battlefield right now and he is determined to enact a ceasefire, but to do that you must listen.

Nico's palms rub across the width of your hips, and over your stomach, fingers taking a moment to dig gently into the soft flesh there that he loves so much. You follow his actions in the mirror with your eyes, "You are beautiful, do you think that the moon is beautiful?" You nod your head, "Christmas lights?" You nod again, "Are these things the same?" You shake in the negative, biting on your lip because of course not. They look entirely different.

"Just because something does not look the same, does not make it any less beautiful. You do not need to look like the other girlfriends, Schatzi, you just need to look like you." You can already feel tears welling in your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall, refuse to have them ruin your makeup when you're supposed to be going to this fundraising event.

"But..."

"There is no but, if you are worried that I do not find you beautiful then don't. Ich liebe dich, I love each part of you." Nico turns you in his arms, spins you until you're face to face, hand cupping your cheek. His thumb rubbing back and forth over the plushness there before slipping backwards to run through your hair, fingers twisting in the strands.

"I love your hair, how it tangles in the morning and how it smells after you shower." Like vanilla. Always like vanilla. The sort of smell he'd recognise no matter if he could see you or not. He could pick you out in a line up from the scent of your hair alone.

His fingers untangle from your strands, slipping down to your throat, resting over where your voice box roughly is. Ticklish and gentle on your skin as you're completely captivated by him. Nico has your undivided attention, your lips parted slightly in awe of him.

"I love your voice, how soothing it is even though I know that you hate how it sounds on the phone." You always complain about your voice on recordings, on your voice mail and old videos. But to him it's so soothing, calming, he could listen to you talk forever.

His hands trail to your stomach, smoothing over the rolls on your side and bumps you feel self conscious of, before resting across your tummy, fingers pressing in and kneading at your stomach. The softness under his fingers his favourite sensation.

"I love your stomach, how plush it is, how I can dig my fingers into it or press my face there after a long day, Schatzi...I love your hips and how I can grip them and your thighs and how soft they are. I love your body. I love that it is different, but I also love who you are inside too."

"Nico..."

"You look beautiful right now and if you want to stay here, we'll stay here, but I think everyone deserves to see how good you look in that dress, so, are you ready?"

The question is loaded. Not just are you ready to go out, but do you believe me, do you believe that you are beautiful, do you believe that you can be different and still wonderful. He's good at that, saying so much in not so many words, so good at getting to the point without being too blunt about it.

You take a moment to consider, Nico still holding you close, dark eyes soft and loving as they look down at you and you know without a doubt that he'd take his suit off and get into sweats if you asked to stay here. He'd make an excuse for why he wasn't at the event in favour of being there for you, but you don't want that. You want to show off your amazing boyfriend, want him to raise as much money as possible for an amazing charity. You don't want this dress to go to waste or let your brain sabotage you.

"I'm ready."

"Good," He holds his hand out to you with a smile and you take it, feeling that oppressive self-consciousness starting to fade with his words, with his attention as he pulls you towards the front door.

Maybe you're not like the other WAGs but then the moon isn't like the sun and it's still beautiful.

[starconstruction]

Off Shift

Teacher Haseul x Boyfriend Male Reader (Smut)

Smut Tags: ass eating, pussy eating, body worship, missionary creampie, loving relationship

Word Count: 957

not proofread, wanted to write a small little piece for Haseul after yesterday.

You and Haseul laid in a compromising position, her legs laid spread apart a few inches. Feet digging into the plush carpet of the shared bedroom. She always looked beautiful in her uniform, a white button up shirt that was cropped a few inches. The handbag that holds her students work.

You and Haseul liked to keep her outfits on during sex, only removing the bare essentials. Those being her tight jean shorts, now resting on the ground, the only other thing that needed moving was her panty hose. Resting just below her thick ass, your favourite part of her body. You were the luckiest man in the world, tongue trailing on her cheeks. Admiring her curves, squeezing them firmly reveling in your ability to worship her.

"Tell me about your work honey." You asked, unable to see anything outside of darkness. Haseul's skirt acted as a curtain, eyes being kept in the shadows. Removing one of your few senses, not the one that matters to you. Kissing her inner cheeks, "Same old shit, students too busy using AI to even pay attention to my course! Why even come at that point?!" She ranted, this was not the first time you've heard of this plight. In fact you've been in this position before, just last week you were on your knees like this.

"That sucks" You said, letting her rant as your tongue finally pressed against her asshole. There was always an art to these things, like her lectures you heard of. You wanted to get a perfect grade, your tongue laid flat as you licked into her ring of spongey flesh.

"Yeah! It's so fucking stupid - oh my god that feels so good - Like why even show up?!" Haseul complained, cut off by your frantic worship. Her ass was mindblowing, a divine pinnacle of architecture sculpted by the gods. You gave her your offering, in the form of eager strokes. Her backdoor now wet with saliva, her body involuntarily backing up into you. "I can't help all the students! - keep going fuck Y/N! - but I wish they would put the effort in!" She continued.

Haseul's cunt was begging for attention, leaking her essence all over your chin. "Look how needy you are Haseul, dripping on me" You growled, alternating between her holes. Both were equally inviting as you dived in, no longer using your hands for support. Mindlessly devouring every inch as she took your eager tongue.

The juxtaposition between Haseul holes was mind boggling, her juices were mature. Coating your tongue with her taste "You always taste so good Haseul, I love you." You growled, voice being smothered by her body, barely audible but it still reached her ears "I love you Y/N! Keep going honey!" Vocals thick with desire, breaking up as she choked the words out.

You weren't going to deny Haseul's requests, a goddess deserves it's reward. Mouth sealed on her pussy as you sucked her folds, focusing on her pleasure alone. Your tongue pressed inside her, rubbing her clit with your fingers. Your tongue was deep and deliberate, a stark contrast to your earlier actions.

"Keep going honey, you are so good at this.." Haseul groaned, melting in the pleasure of her boyfriend. You were starving and she was the cure, her strong and unique taste was the only thing you wanted at this moment. Your hand cusped her ass, delivering firm slaps as she screamed. "I'm gonna cum baby! Fuck!" You slurped frantically as she grinded her folds violently, a gutural moan releasing from your core as she gushed over your body. She was hurled into ecstasy, her thighs closed around you. Squeezing you against her.

You withdrew, a job well done as you finally saw your handy work. Her shirt clung to her back, her unobscured skin shiny against the light of your bedroom. "Haseul honey, are you able to go another round?" You asked, hand stroking her exposed back.

"Yeah, fuck me Y/N." You dropped the clothes still clinging to you, exposing your cock to the air. You flipped Haseul over, appreciating her beauty. The way her hair clinged onto her face, glasses dislodged as they sat on the bridge of her face. Her bottom lip puffed and bruised as she gnawed on it.

You pushed in gently, a shared gasp as inches disappeared into her wanting hole, gripping onto your shaft as you bottomed out. "You always feel so good Haseul." You let out, voice dim as you focused on her. Every ounce of pleasure was explosive, jolting through every fibre of your being.

Your hand found Haseul's tie her eyes looking up in shock as you yanked, her lips met yours as you devoured her mouth. The soft taste of sugar from her lip gloss, tongue deeply exploring her wet cavern as she tasted her holes on you. While your length rested in her, pace slow while you two shared saliva.

You two were no strangers to missionary, doing it whenever there was a free time. But she never stopped feeling incredible, your hips pistoned faster now, her cunt accepting everything you gave it. "I love you Haseul, every part of you." You moaned out, breathing against her lips.

"I love you aswell! Make me cum!" Haseul moaned, she squeezed the life out of you as you gasped. Mere inches from cumming. Time ran thin as you savoured the last few moments. "I'm cumming! Cum with me Haseul!" You shot ropes into your girlfriends loving pussy, the crevices filled with your cream. Haseul came around you, leaving both of you shaking.

"Thank you love, you make this whole shitty job worth it." Haseul said, as you two stayed connected for a few minutes.

[romaevelizz]

His Conscious

James ‘Bucky’ Barnes x Asgardian!femreader

sum: She’d had been with him for decades for a short time physically, then only in his subconscious. Through good and bad she had been with him until she wasn’t, once reunited not everything is so great.

warning: reader is 100% overpowered(idc), cursing, unrealistic stuff bc it’s a fan fic and Marvel, suggestive, takes place mostly during Civil War, Reader IS BLACK CODED! uncanon events for Civil war, lots of dialogue bc I like talking! Not proofread!

The last time he had felt her touch was November of 1943, where he was kept hostage in the Hydra facility. Back then he thought it was a hallucination, that all the torment and experimenting had really caused him to lose himself. The warmth of her hands touching his face whispering his name frantically her worried eyes looking over him, it had felt so real, and if you were to tell him at the time it was. that she was there to break him out before Steve had arrived he wouldn’t have believed it not one bit.

Then when he had fallen from that train, when everything went black he heard her voice. ‘James open your eyes..’

‘my love, I need you to open your eyes..’ the angelic soft echo of her voice stirring him awake. The pain sharp all through out his body and his heart bead rang through his ears as he was dragged away by Hydra soldiers.

That was only the beginning. Her voice and images of her would appear in his subconscious. But she looked different. Her hair wasn't short and pressed in a 40s fashion, but long, very long, and curly, and her clothing ethereal. He would slowly find out more, like that she was actually with him, taking home in his subconscious that even through being controlled, she was there.

It took time for him to come to terms that she was not quite human, but a goddess. Not just because she was beautiful but because she was capable of magics, he only knew what she was capable of through what she had told him. But the fact she could be in his conscious with him was fascinating enough.

He became greatful that she was there, not only did she spend time on his head but as time went on she was able to create life live visions that only he could see. She was like a ghost that hovered and did as she pleased, she wasn't able to come in contact with others around them.

As the Winter Soldier, he still knew who she was in a way, yes he didn't feel the same towards her, under control he found her irritating like an annoying fly that buzzed in his ears. Yet she knew what her presents meant to him, she kept him somewhat sane. Seventy years, Seventy years they had been together. Seventy years of her standing by his side through it all, comforting and understanding to him. Then one day everything went black. After he fell into the water everything went black for her.

She has lost connection with him, her eyes oppening for the first time in decades. Her body under dirt and snow in the German mountains, her joints popping and she slowly got up from her laying position. She hadn't been in her physical body for god knows how long, she didn't become weaker but her body hadn't moved in years. As much as she wanted to rush to follow and him and he with him again she had to take care of herself first.

Bucky felt like he was slowly losing his grip on reality as the days turned into weeks without any sign of her. The hollow ache in his chest deepened with each passing moment, his mind racing with chaotic thoughts. She had vanished from his life, leaving only shadows of despair in her wake. The worst haunted him: was she be safe? Did she suffer? Night after relentless night, he tossed and turned in an empty bed that felt colder than ever, the silence amplifying his fears.

Months slipped by without her reassuring voice, and the once-comforting embrace of sleep became a tormenting void filled with nightmares shed pull him from. Bucky’s mental health deteriorated, unraveling more than he ever thought possible. The weight of his worries pressed heavily on his shoulders, and he could feel the tension gnawing at him in an overwhelming sense of dread.

Every moment without her was a reminder of his loneliness. He was on the run, burdened not just by his past but by the ghost of the love he cherished and feared he might never see again. His once-stable world was now a torrent of chaos—his strength drained, his spiritfalling —coming to tearms that he'd never see her again.

After being run out of his place and held in custody, he was put back under control. A short rampage later he had woken up in a warehouse, his metal arm being held in a machine. Steve along with another man was questioning him till herd her voice, and it was clear that he wasn't the only one to hear it. Steve and Sam turning their bodies quickly twords the voice.

Bucky watched as her body emerged from the shadows, her long curly hair falling over her dark features slightly as she peeked around the corner. Bucky picked his head up stunned not believing his eyes,Fully coming out with a quick motion the two men on defence in front of bucky where pinned against the wall with knifes to the throats.

The smile on her face as she rushed towards him, her hands cradling his face carefully. She watched his expression, his mouth wanting to speak but his body fought against it. His right hand came up to her waist grabbing her “Oh my god..” his voice broke.

She grinned “Hi my love, thought I would find you else where free perhaps yet here you are caged underneath this thing.” she spoke.

Bucky shook his head lightly it soon falling into her stomach, her arms wrapping around him as he pulled her closer her his free arm. After a moment his other became lose without a second thought he wrapped both arms around her. She could feel his silent cries against her, her head dipping down placing gentle kisses to his head. This was the first time he had felt her warmth in over 50 years and he had actually felt her in general.

“What has you in distress baby?” she hummed, “I was only gone for a moment..”

He shoot his head “I thought I'd never see you again,” he muttered.

“Sorry it took me so long, had to recover my body…”

“Hate to break this up but can you tell your girlfriend to PUT US DOWN!”

Y/ns head snapped over to the man “oops!” with that they fell to the ground.

Bucky stood up catching her gaze “Theyre good they're friends…” he muttered.

She nodded her head her hand not leaving his forearm. “Is she-”

“No she's not with hydra,” Bucky interrupted quickly. Steve only nodded his head his eyes catching hers.

“Who are you? Because you're definitely not— well normal.” Steve spoke rubbing his neck.

She shifted her body now standing directly in front of bucky her body leaning back into him. “(name), I'm not exactly from here. I'm Asgardian-” she spoke vaguely.

“So you're a God? Do you know Thor?” Stever asked, he watched her face scrunch at the mention of Thor.

“I am Goddess of Versatility, and unfortunately I do…”

“Versatility?” Sam asked.

“Capable of almost anything I put my mind to, I can adjust and adapt to many different powers.” she shrugged explaining simply.

“Versatility is kinda boring..” same muttered.

“Sounds boring its not, I was able to hibernate my body for over 50 years in the German mountains, and live in his subconscious.” she smiled.

The two men looked at her dumbfounded. “Im a god, not only that but a kings favorite.”

“You must be the sister Thor mentions.” Steve said.

“Only sister he has so yeah, I'm the oldest” she shrugged

“Really you don't-.” Sam started.

“Diffrent mothers, don't care to explain more.” she interrupted her tone becoming sharp.

The two men nodded “So whats the plan from here?”

Bucky raised a brow “What you're obviously on the run I mean we're hiding in a warehouse… and I'm quite capable of helping.” she spoke Turing towards him.

Through a bit of useless protest from James there, she was fighting with them, doing pushback and sticking close to Bucky's side. This was the first time he'd seen her use her power, it was kinda humoring her fucking with them may it have been kind of games or using their power against them. A pretty smile on her features as she defended against the others. Her little conversation with Peter the teen nodding to her his voice almost excited even tho she had him any the collar, her nodding at him and telling him goodnight before blowing in his face. Peters's body falling limp as he giggled putting him down carefully.

“He seemed a bit too excited to be here.” she laughed walking over the Sam and James wrapped in a web lying on the floor.

T’challa wasn't light on his punches when it came to Bucky. One solid hit had pushed him back before he could get up the panther was already charging twords him, with a quick motion he was slammed in the the truck next to him.

“Go!” She yelled.

His eyes narrowest shaking his head “Ill find you! I aways so now go.” She reassured. He groaned irritated, upset that she wouldn't be with him, again.

Hours later He had found out that everyone was arrested. Meaning that she must have been aswell, Steve watched Bucky his eyes curious and sympathetic to his friend. “She’ll be fine well get her out after, I promise.”

He shook his head “Shes never been imprisoned and from what you told me She wont be able to use her powers to an extent and if she dose shell be hurt.” he spoke sodtly, she was probably losing her shit if there was one thing James knew about her is that she can easily be triggered and aggression is how she showed frustration and panic in some situations. Restricting her power and hurting her when did brought back unpleasant memories ones you don't ever wanna relive.

She was Practically bouncing off the walls wrapped up like Wanda, she didn't quite understand how they were restricting her powers, and when she got a spark she was heavily electrocuted. Sam and Clint were in the cells next to her telling her she had to stop, all she was doing was hurting herself. Her mind racing as her face fell into her lap as she sat on her knees. She needed to get out, she needed to find James, they were going to to kill him. She needed to get out, she needed to help him.

A groggy cry came from her as she mistakenlytries getting out of these binds again, “They're made like that for a reason, you're not supposed to keep going.” a male voice rang through her ears.

She knew that voice “The humans didn't take it kindly to Loki destroying New York, helped them be able to block power like ours.”

She sat up slowly, a heavy frown on her face as she mad eye contact with her Brother, the silent tension between them thick. “You know Sister after all this time I didn't expect you here..” she could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“Why are you here?” she asked her voice tired.

“Take you home, so you're not rotting in this cell.” he spoke.

She shook her head “I can't go back..” she whispered.

“Of Course you can, Father would be pleased to see you..”

“What of mother-”

“She gone.” he answerd quickly, his brows frowned.

She stayed silent “You must come with me, I beg of you.” he spoke.

“I left for a reason Brother…” she spoke softly, “you got 30 seconds Thor!” Toneys voice spoke up.

“I wont take you home, but I can use it as an excuse to leave with you. I heard about you're little flame, that's why you wont go back right?” he spoke quickly

Dumbfounded she nodded “yeah.. But the gate-”

“Thes dumb mortals wont think twice when I fly off with you in these.” he spoke showing so Asgardian cuffs.

“Do you want to go or not.”

She nodded.

She might have left with Thor but found a safe enough place to land, taking her cuffs of and wishing her well “Rember you're always welcome back home, even if it mean you bring him. Consider it sister.” he spoke smiling to her.

“Thank you Brother tell Loki I say hello,” she spoke, “I missed you I hope to see you a bit more.”

He chuckled, “ I have a feeling well be seeing each other again sometime soon my dear sister, just don't get in to much trouble can only do so much here.”

It didn't take her long to track them down, but she was far behind. Her body teleporting a bit away from the compound entrance she saw T’chlla him standing next to a body. She could feel her hear drop as she rushed towards them, getting closer she had let out a sigh of relief.

“He down there,” T’challa spoke his gaze meeting hers. “Couldnt guarantee you that's he's alive, he said something about turning them on each other. Go down with caution.” he finished.

Without a moment's hesitation, she sprinted toward the door, her heart racing as she maneuvered through the maze of the unfamiliar surroundings. The air was thick with chaos, the sharp sounds of shattering glass and frantic shouts echoing around her, propelling her forward. As she rounded the corner, a wild scene unfolded before her eyes: Steve was grappling with Tony, their bodies a tangle of energy and aggression, while the sight of Bucky sprawled on the ground sent a shock through her. Her gaze darted between the two skirmishing men and the still figure of her friend, the urgency of the moment electrifying her senses.

“James!” she shouted, “Bucky, baby, hey open your eyes,” she spoke panicked, his metal arm was shot off leaving a nub of wires.

She shook him a bit before her hands fell ti his face, her hands glowing a soft white as she focused on him. The sound of the two men next to her fighting became dull as she healed him, she watched closely as his eyes shifted under his lids “Common baby come back to me..” she whispered.

She felt a hand on her shoulder “Stop he's there he's just unconscious, back off!” she shouted glancing over her shoulder to Steve who did exactly as she said. Her brows frowned seeing him as he was.

“Im sorry… Ill help you next,” she apologize.

“What about him?” she asked glancing towards Tony.

“If you can then please.” he groaned his back falling against the concrete wall.

She hummed shifting her gaze back to Bucky, his eyes open just looking over her. “Well hi handsome,”

“Hi doll, when did you-”

“Dont worry about it baby, lets just focus on getting out if here once I get them up and going..”

She took the time she needed to heal Steve enough so he could get up, with Tony was a bit more difficult due to everything that had just happened. He wanted nothing from her but she kept insisting, his communications were down and its be a bit till someone could even get it to him. Eventually, he let her, making a few comments about her being Thor's sister. “Well marital afairs happen everywhere. Not every marriage even by law and arrangement can be happy, plus my fathers just an asshole.” she chuckled.

“Take it mommy issues.” Tony sassed.

“And you have Daddy issues, we all have problems Stark, but our parental issues are much more different.” she scoffed, her tone and choice of words telling him that here was more a physically issue than emotional.

“T’challa said there will be someone here for you soon.” She spoke he hands falling into her lap.

Tony shook his head “Id like you a lot more if I knew you weren’t aware of what he did.”

She sighed glancing over to Steve and Bucky, his eyes trained on her. “He couldn't control what he did, but one thing I do know is that every person haunts him, he'll always remember, their screams and begging for their life. That right there is worse than death.” she muttered fidgeting with her fingers.

“But nobody here is clean of blood, you've killed someone's parents, someone's child. You Avengers aren't as clean of blood as you make yourselves out to be.” She spoke standing up, walking over to Bucky and Steve.

she watched as he was about to say something, “But that's wasn't you're fault right? You couldn't control it.” she finished, her eyes moving from him to Bucky.

“Get home safe Mr. Stark, and I wish your recovery to be quick.” she said leaving the the two men.

Days had drifted by in a haze since everything had changed. T’Challa had generously offered them both refuge in his kingdom, providing a safe haven as they navigated the complex process of liberating Bucky from the haunting grip of the Winter Soldier. For now, Bucky was equipped with a straightforward replacement arm—nothing overly elaborate, but functional enough for everyday use. T’Challa appreciated having them close; keeping Bucky and her in Wakanda allowed him to ensure they were not only safe, but secure as Bucky was still considered an unfriendly to the world.

Bucky found solace in this arrangement, welcoming the chance to remain in Wakanda, especially since it meant being alongside her. The two had settled into an expansive shared suite, a space that resembled a charming studio apartment. Sunlight streamed through large, intricately carved windows, illuminating the warm, rich tones of the wooden furniture and the traditional African textiles that adorned the walls. The atmosphere was cozy, offering a perfect blend of comfort and privacy, allowing them to retreat from the world outside while they explored their evolving relationship and faced the battles lingering in Bucky’s mind.

As James underwent various tests in the lab alongside Shuri and the team of scientists, she found herself wandering through the magnificent halls of Wakanda, accompanied by T’Challa. He proudly showed her the intricate details of his home, from the stunning vibranium architecture to the lush greenery that surrounded the palace. T’Challa reassured her of their warm welcome in his kingdom, though he acknowledged that not everyone shared the same level of trust towards her and Bucky—something that would likely change with time as they proved their loyalty. He knew she was of royalty herself much different from him, but she would become useful giving bits of insight and knowledge to the new king. “Sure you're not a queen yourself?” he'd joke.

“Many in my Relm would say it is my birth right, but I am only a woman that's what the men of my father's court would use as an excuse.” she hummed, her world was much different from their gender roles were very much still a thing, and she had run away.

Reflecting on their journey, it became clear that her presence had expedited Bucky's recovery; she was the catalyst behind him receiving a state-of-the-art replacement arm sooner than anyone had anticipated. In the quiet moments, she often found solace on the balcony of their shared room, watching the vibrant sunset over the horizon. It illuminated the sky in shades of orange and pink, and she relished the calm that accompanied her newfound sense of reassurance. Unlike before, when anxiety would push her to constantly linger at Bucky's side, she now felt a profound sense of certainty: he was not going anywhere, and neither was she. This realization brought her a comforting peace, wrapped in the warmth of their shared commitment.

The sound of the heavy door opening and closing caused her to look over her shoulder, her eyes meeting his. Pushing up out of her seat her bare feet touching the cold floor as she rushed over to him, a smile on her face. A common routine in their night, not always many words were exchanged but that was okay. Her hands held his face picking it up to look at her. Bucky was on the edge of the bed as she stood between his legs his hand on the back of her upper thighs, he'd always liked how she favored gowns short or long, the Asgardian fabrics much more luxurious than any here. He took every chance he got to feel her, to let his hands linger on her body feeling, memorizing every curve of her body as she simply stood in front of him and talked. Every chance to kiss her and her dark complexion, his lips kissing over her stretch marksand whatever most would consider an imperfection, but to him everything about her was perfect.

After years of never being able to feel her, how could he not? He worshiped her and the ground she walked on, he yearned to feel her warmth for decades to actually get to heel her skin to skin and not just the cold emptiness of his conscious. Yet there would be times he was so afraid to touch her, scared that she would just vanish like she did as time when he would reach out to her. The feeling of her hands not cold or light when she would touch him, her body coming from behind him her head resting on his shoulder blade as she would comfort him after being woken form a nightmare. Her whispering softly urging him back to lay with her and fall back asleep. Assuring him that he won't hurt her, that he could hold her as the sleep or that she could even hold him. His heart heavy as she would speak gently to him as he laid on her chest, her hands warm as her fingers grazed lightly over his face bushing his hair back.

“Please don't ever leave..” he muttered softly his head shifting to look at her.

“I'm not going anywhere, my love. Now you must sleep, and with how strong your embrace is let's hope I don't have to pee.” she smiled, her eyes holding his. “I no desire to be anywhere without you,” she spoke watching him sit up a bit.

“Wherever you go, I go,” she whispered before her lips met his.

She might have had a few thousand years on him, and thousands more to live, but she would die with him no matter what. She wasn't just bored to adjust and adapt but born to create and destroy, she was much more than a stupid powerful, and unpredictable god and even he knew that but she wasn't invincible either she could do many things nobody could but there was plenty that she couldn't. When she would heal and even bring someone back from the dead she gives up parts of her life span, even with that she would have thousands of years without him.

His fingers messed with her messy curls as she laid on his chest, his eyes catching small strands of silver in her dark hair. “Graying before me?” he muttered teasingly.

She sat up quicky at his comment “what?”

“You have a really small batch, like four gray hairs.” he spoke touching her hair line above her eyebrow.

She stood up from the bed, her body bare as she rushed to a tall mirror on the wall, Bucky watched amusingly as she looked through her hair in a panic like state. He watched as she smiled a bit her body turning to face him “Didnttink id ever see a women happy to see that she had gray hair he chuckled.

She rushed back over to the bed, “Do you know what this means.” she spoke her excited tone in a whisper as she crawled over to him.

Her body sitting atop of him she leaned down here face close to his “ My healing and bring you back has caught up with me!”

He raised a brow “I'm aging quicker. Its a good thing believe it or not.”

He didn't quite understand how losing parts of her life span was exciting but at the same time he did. He knew that he had no desire to live for thousands of years after him, she wanted nothing more than to age like a human but she was not born a human. He knew in the end they would find each other again, may it be in another lifetime, or even after death. What they both understood was that they would die along with the other. Their life had begun to have no meaning with out each other, two damaged souls who found each other, and never left each other.

The gods will forever determine her end and the way she shall reast, but one thing was sure if she was taken sooner or had to live without him, to gods would keep him safe for her. Keep him so that she would be able to rest easy with him in the end of it all.

For maybe he'll someday only be within her subconscious and dreams.

a/n: i know a descent amount of people enjoy reading my stuff but i’m curious on what i could do to improve my writing i feel like i can’t really write with a lot of dialogue. Or my stories are kind everywhere… anywho lmk! i love to hear feedback 💗

[seaborgium-dazies]

the cut that always bleeds

how mha characters' unrequited feelings would manifest and how they would cope with them

gn!reader, angst, unrequited feelings because they convinced themselves you don't like them

🌊: deku, bakugo, shoto, iida, denki

deku:

His pain manifests as a pit in his chest that routinely gets bigger and heavier. He cannot look at you without feeling this pain dragging him down. And yet he wouldn't even try to deal with it. He already convinced himself that you would never, in a million years, like him back so he tries to ignore his bleeding heart. Using forced smiles and fake positivity as a crutch; anything to keep his guard up. Still he cries at night :(. He listens to sad love songs for hours and gets up the next morning with the same fake smile as the day before :(.

bakugo:

His unrequited feelings for you ignite a neverending fire in his chest. Whenever, wherever, he feels this intense anger in his chest. His method of dealing is distance. As soon as he sees you he's super pissed and even though he takes every chance to openly and safely fight you (sparring, tournaments etc) it's never enough to completely alleviate his burning pain. When you actually start fighting or even when you have small disagreements in class his anger bubbles over and due to his sharp tongue he ends up saying harsh things that he regrets. So he figured that avoiding you as best as he could was the way to go.

Shoto:

He's pretty unaware of his feelings and his pain manifests on the low. He's not really outspoken about his feelings so no one helps him connect the dots on why he's feeling so down. His unrequited feelings just drape his day to day life in a soft blue hue. Everything seems a little more hopeless and useless than before. He notices one thing though. Whenever he sees you his feelings of sadness get more intense. He figures that it's because he just cannot understand you. He observes you a lot and just cannot wrap his head around how someone can be so beautiful, so cheerful and so upbeat in such a shit world.

iida:

The pain presents as a constant feeling of being on edge. And in response he tries to rationalise. He pushes his annoyance to the side and acknowledges that he just feels on edge because of the rise in anti hero sentiments lately and he's just feeling a bit under the weather and he just hasn't been sleeping well lately and his schedule is overwhelming and and and. Once the though of him liking you comes up he tries to rationalise that too. He doesn't really like you it's just the hormones. And even so you guys could never work out because his upbringing was so different from yours / your personalities are so different / you have different visions of the future / etc.

denki:

Denkis pain manifests as amplified insecurities and he tries to joke his way out of it. He cracks self deprecating jokes from dawn till dusk and from dusk till dawn. He is constantly the butt of the joke and he cannot stop himself from making 'you'd never go for such an ugly worthless guy like me. You deserve someone better' type comments. He routinely calls himself stupid, ugly, worthless and whatnot and whenever you correct him he cringes deeply because he realizes what type of position he put you in.

©️ seaborgium-dazies 2025

[windwenn]

Oookay here are my final thoughts written out a little clearer than they were late last night lol:

- it feels pointed and a little sad that silna's name is only revealed in the final episode. The men are content to just assign her an identity and dont think further of it, which i think speaks to the wider attitude towards the land itself, and its people.

- expanding on that point i love how we see crozier latch onto her real name immediately. I think at some point close to the end it becomes obvious that he's abandoned his previous identity/life, his sympathies seem to lie with the inuit and he understands that killing the tuunbaq is cause for sadness. I think the fact that he's irish (so as i pointed out a few times his relation to the empire is a little different) is relevant here and to his general development.

- again relevant to the last point, it sounds crazy to say bc it was SO bleak but i also think episode 10 was just as full, if not moreso, of kindness. In the end crozier is motivated almost entirely by an unselfish desire to remain by the sides of his men - who are less his men at this point and more his friends, beloved companions. Brothers even, in fitzjames' case. Im not sure if at that point he truly thought they would live through it but not once does he think of letting someone die alone or abandoned. He sits with the final man alive as he dies, and comforts him. Goodsir dies thinking of the beauty of the world around him, and an unfailing belief that the world is good. I said before that the men think the land evil for rejecting them, but goodsir manages to surpass this. Even though jopson dies thinking crozier betrayed their friendship ('friendship' lol that man was in LOVE) - which transcended their naval positions, crozier DOES go back to him - we spend time watching him mourn, and that matters. The show chooses to focus again and again on the intimacy - in contrast to the animosity - that develops between certain characters, an intimacy that provides them comfort at the end. Crozier goes through what is almost a symbolic death - telling the men who come after that everyone is dead and theres no passage through, sacrificing his old life to stop any more men from following in their footsteps and causing further damage to the people living there, as well as themselves. That being said at this point he is a different person, and i dont thinm he could have returned even if he had wanted to. His end is gentle, and contemplative.

- through crozier and hickey we see the two directions you can go in after having made such a fatal error of hubris; you can learn from your mistakes, let it shape you and make you a better person, or you can remain blind, and let pride consume you (in the form of a bear ha ha get fucked mr hickey). And that idea of letting go of pride and allowing yourself to be shaped by the world around you is relevant i think because the terror and erebus were like thorns in the side of the land they were encroaching upon, because the expedition was about conquest for the british empire, about bending the land around you to your will. Until you get to a place that refuses to be bent. And so the choice is either to throw away pride or die. So in a way this environment is kind of perfect for examining empire, how it impacts identity, and what these men decide to define themselves by in the face of death. So its very fitting that it end with the swan song, that was a super cool detail.

- Not showing what happened to the men left on the boats is kind of worse because you just have to imagine based on what you've already seen🧍‍♂️

- on the topic of kindness again, i love the way they killed hickey so much. It strips empire (the values of which it seemed to me he came to represent) of its power, saying you can beat down and damage this place (the tuunbaq) all you want, but it will never be yours. And his actual death is so quick, like a footnote to the rest of the episode. The highest punishment for a man like him is inconsequence.

- not analysis but if anyone has any thoughts on jopson's death i would be very interested to hear them bc i was WEEPING. It felt very much informed by class commentary to me which definitely lines up with the other stuff but i just loved the imagery of him crawling across the table so much OUUGHH that poor man. Sir john franklin i hate u so much.

- I think its so hard to watch also because you know that they - for the most part, though some of this was the unfortunate result of a single man's actions - did it to themselves. THEY did this and there's so much shame in their deaths, so much waste. Leaving each other behind out of cowardice and desperation, taking the easiest route out only to end up dying just the same. Causing yet more suffering and all for nothing (thinking of jopson again 💔). But a lot of them learn to be better, and thats worse! Its so much worse because this is what it took and its too late!

- i was kind of getting the impression of some parallels to satan/god(or christ) in terms of the hickey/crozier dichotomy? Like crozier 'loves his men more than god' and forgiving everyone and just sort of being a neverending well of love in the end vs. hickey turning the men against each other through fear, literally whispering evil shit in their ears, inciting them to violence. Murdering everyone within arms reach. Im not religious so i dont really trust my judgement on this but it felt like kind of an interesting point? Idk

- the fact that its the british empire sending a bunch of guys (mostly working class sailors) to the arctic and as a result fucking up the natural food supply and being forced to cannibalise each other is just so good like its SO good. This is one of those stories that would probably be harder to fuck up than to get right bc of how much it just objectively works. Like the titanic. Imagine failing to make the titanic story into a warning about the evils of hubris and wealth.

- small detail but when crozier first got to the netsilik camp there was a shot of a child running scared into a tent. The last time we see crozier there is a child lying contentedly at his side as he hunts seal (previously mentioned as taking years to learn), which is such a lovely contrast.....He let himself be shaped.........

- i will be watching this vicariously through my sister as soon as possible like i need to rewatch this within the week or i'll go crazy probably

- i just remembered today it was fitzjames' jawbone they found with evidence of cannibalism congrats to 'The Terror' (2018) for having the gift of prophecy i guess

And that wraps up all the notes i made! This has definitely become one of my favourite shows of all time, i've been thinking about it all week and also i have some cool ideas for artworks jotted down so keep your eyes peeled👁👁

THE TERROR LIVEPOST HAPPENING NOW🫵🫵

[littelovelunette]

Different Worlds

Lost the request, I'm sorry, but here it is! I'm sorry, it's really long but sweet 1.7k words.

Sevika x Topsider! Reader

Sevika had one of the worst fights yet until now, and just like every other time her opponent had targeted her mechanical arm. It always was the main target when it came to fighting Sevika for some reason.

Sevika knew it was because without that arm, it seemed easier to defeat her.

Sevika tried to push herself up, but she couldn't. This time she had a deep stab wound to nurse when she would return home. If she could return home, that was.

The wound was deep and unlike any other that she received before, it weakened her greatly. Her brain already felt hazy from the blood loss, not to mention the amount of Shimmer she had used, she was facing the consequences for that now.

The high was crashing down and her body ached everywhere. Blood and Shimmer mixed as it trickled down her body, ragged breaths making her chest heave up and down in a not-so rhythmic manner.

Where was she even? She looked around, but she couldn't see clearly even at this point, her vision was just a blur of… Blur of tall towers and mansions— Piltover.

Sevika could've scoffed if she had the energy to, trying once again to pick herself from where she fell but to no avail, she fell back down to the ground with a dull thud.

“Fuck.” She mouthed. Atleast, she was bound not to be seen by anyone while she was in this utterly pathetic state. Sevika looked up at the sky, her vision was blurry from the tears threatening to flood her eyes due to the immense amount of pain she was in.

Was she going to die? Not at least in Piltover… Sevika's ears caught onto the sound of heels clicking closer to where she was and she could only hope it wasn't some Piltover Enforcer.

She held her breath, the sound of the heels coming closer and closer until she could see the figure at the end of the alley.

The silhouette was a female, a beautiful woman. Sevika caught herself thinking that and mentally slapped herself for even thinking something like that, her loyalty belonged to Zaun and Zaun only, she reminded herself.

Sevika watched as the woman stopped in front of her. You were beautiful to say the least, dressed in a white dress, black embroidered belt and sheer stockings to go along with the look with your baby blue colored heels.

Sevika stared at you in shock, awe and something else she couldn't really place but then the dull throbbing of her stab wound pulled her back to reality.

“Who are you?” She managed to say although her voice came out more strained than intended.

You didn't answer and knelt down to her level, slowly moving her top up to see the stab wound, “Oh, this is bad.” you whispered to her and let out a small sigh, “You're gonna die if you don't get this treated.”

“No shit.” Sevika said sarcastically but then winced at the throbbing of the wound again, “Who the fuck are you even?”

You shook your head dismissively at her language before telling your name and hooking an arm under her flesh arm. “C'mon,” you said as you struggled but managed to hoist her up against your own smaller frame.

Sevika wanted to resist but she was at the verge of going unconscious so she held herself back from making any spiteful comments. Even she herself knew she needed help.

As you both staggered to the gates of your house, Sevika was almost unconscious, leaning onto your body with atleast eighty percent body weight.

“C'mon, just a little bit.” You urged as you opened the gate with one hand and led her inside. She collapsed onto the couch in the living room as you locked the gate behind yourself.

“How you feeling?” You asked as you opened the cabinet and took out some first aid materials so you could patch up the smaller wounds on her body first.

“Dandy.” Sevika replied sarcastically as she grunted, shifting into a more comfortable position, I mean, how comfortable could one get when they have a literal hole in their stomach?

With an annoyed huff, you knelt down next to the Zaunite woman and started tending to her wounds. She didn't flinch, not once as you cleaned them.

You'd have thought it was because you were being so gentle with her, but you knew better than to assume so, you were aware how unsafe Undercity was due to the constant oppression they're subjected to by your very people.

Not that you were proud of it, despite being from the Topside sometimes you wondered if you would've liked it better at the Undercity. One would say you were weird for thinking that, but you were just wondering if the way your people treated hers was any fair.

“Let me know if this hurts too bad.” You said before your fingers delicately began peeling away the clothes that stuck to her stab wound due the dried blood.

Sevika's face remained stoic and you could tell it was genuinely due to her need to keep up a tough façade. She was far too easy to read while her bottom lip was twitchy, fists clenched as you treated her most critical wound.

“I'd have thought you'd mock me.” Sevika said finally after you finished patching her up, putting the bloody gloves away.

“All Pilties aren't the same.” Your voice was a little solemn, but you quickly masked your expression so it didn't match your voice, lips pursed as you put the supplies away. “You should stay the night. Until your wounds heal.”

“Me? Stay at a Topsider’s house?” Sevika scoffed, “No way.”

“Yes way.” You replied firmly, arms crossing over your chest. “You'll stay over. You need to heal.” Your tone was final and there was no denying you now.

As much as Sevika would've loved to keep up the argument, her body was way too exhausted to cooperate.

“Come on, get up, take a shower and get some sleep.” You said, pulling her to her feet by her flesh arm. You led the now silenced Sevika to the guest room, opening the bathroom door, “There are spare towels on the cabinet, and I'll get you some clothes and put it in the changing room.” You said in an oddly soothing tone that Sevika wasn't used to. She nodded, watching as you left.

After a while Sevika had freshened up and was ready for bed, you gave her a pain pill and water watching her down it in one go. “Good.” You said and took the empty glass.

“Why are you being so damn nice to me? You're supposed to despise me.” Sevika said, her voice a little faint and a strange tinge of vulnerability lingered somewhere in her words.

“I always wondered what it was like to be Zaunites. I don't like the political tension Piltover oppresses over Zaun and honestly have considered going to the Undercity and just living there so many times before.” You took a seat at the edge of the bed and looked at Sevika. “Being rich, my parents force me to do things I don't want to and always have these impossibly high expectations of me. I'm tired of all that.”

Sevika smiled a little, a rare sight to behold. “You know, living in Zaun ain't the easiest.”

“I know.” You countered, “But I still want to.”

“There are no fancy bathrooms, silken sheets and other expensive things Topsiders like you use.” Sevika said as she took a look around the bedroom.

“Despite that—” You pressed. “—I still want to.”

Sevika was genuinely touched, she'd never really met someone with a moral compass so strong that they'd willingly suffer if it meant it was right to do so. She admired it, and stared at you for a moment.

“Anyway I should let you rest.” You said and got up to exit the room, smiling to yourself as you did. You were glad Sevika didn't push you away but you knew if it weren't for her injuries, she would.

With a sigh, you prepared to sleep as well. About two restless nights passed for Sevika, her wound hadn't healed all that well because it was deeper than you'd initially thought so you made her stay another day. She stared up at the ceiling as she tried to sleep, she had her mind fixed about departing tomorrow. Finally saying her farewells to the Topsider who had likely saved her from huge danger.

But it didn't feel right to just leave you be.

Sevika thought back, even though she knew Piltover was safe for commoners like you, she wondered if the people would bother you and give you a hard time if they came to know you had Sevika over and even treated her.

Worry settled deep in her heart but she forced herself to sleep. The next morning, Sevika was putting her poncho on as she watched you sitting on a chair silently staring into the distance. Sevika knew deep down that even if you both wouldn't admit it to each other, the little time spent together and the playful banters?

Despite the huge differences in both of your lives, something was there. Maybe a bit more than just platonic feelings. Sevika finally opened her mouth,

“You could come to the Undercity with me. Y'know, I could make your— dream, would you call it?— true and take you in.”

You look up, eyes wide and mouth open, “Really? You'd take me in, as in like have me as your roomie?” You asked excitedly.

Sevika rolled her eyes at your excitement, running her flesh fingers through her dark hair. “Mhm.” She hummed.

“I don't want to be an inconvenience. I'm sure it's hard just protecting yourself. I know nothing about defense, I'd be a liability.” You said, eyes looking down at the ground again, then Sevika walked closer to you, hands holding your face and tilting it up so that the both of you held eye contact.

“You saved my life. This is the least I could do.” Sevika said.

A small smile finally crossed your lips and before you knew it, both of you leaned in. It felt wrong but right.

You didn't know why, was this a form of thank you? Or just the feelings that built up within the two days she spent at your house for treatment? Maybe.

But right then, all you could focus on was her lips against yours soft yet passionate something a far cry from her personality but you loved it. No, you loved her.

[melk-maid]

warnings: everyone is aged up 21+, afab/gn reader, major canon divergence, wet dreams, piv sex, dream sex, oral, alcohol consumption, mentions of an accident and injuries, mentioning of character death synopsis: you can't stop dreaming everynight about fucking an incredibly handsome and beautiful man, feeling an intense connection to him but you can't seem to place where you know him from.

note: this is a reupload! enjoy~♡ minors & ageless blogs dni - you will be blocked

The mind is a funny thing. It controls everything you do, dictates everything you say, feel, think. It’s a core part of everyone and works in such mysterious ways. 

It feels like you’d just opened your eyes from sleeping, yet already awake. There’s no drowsiness but you hardly remember anything that happened until now. Your mind is hazy but everything feels so light and airy.

When you begin to focus, the room bleeds with details that feel familiar. Colourful posters decorate the plain, cream walls, a cork board that’s home to photo booth cards and various hanging trinkets. 

Moving is difficult for some reason but you don’t fret. It feels like your body weighs a ton, as though your blood was made of concrete and trying to lift your torso to sit up was a strenuous task you couldn’t achieve. Normally this would be cause for concern, enough to send you into a state of panic, however your heart remained calm. 

There’s not much else in the room you can see from this position besides a desk and closet doors. You’ve come to realise you’re laid in bed and finally you can feel the sheets beneath you. So soft and comforting, they too feel oddly familiar but you can’t seem to pinpoint why.

When you focus again, you notice the thrum of dull pleasure that flows through your body. Waves of ecstasy wash over you, the feeling slowly amplifying the more you think about it. Then you realise there’s a weight on you, hands that hold you in place and a body between your legs. 

Oh.

It doesn’t matter who’s pleasuring you with their mouth but you’d love to interact with them, even if it is only a dream. It’s mildly embarrassing (only to you) that you’d noticed so late, though you try and acknowledge your realistic dream in hopes you’d gain a semblance of control — only your mind doesn’t cooperate and it’s still impossible to move. 

You want to thread your fingers through their hair, to tug on it and hear them moan into your clit, grind your hips into their face as they suck on your clit. They’re doing a good job so far and you can’t seem to express that. Opening your mouth was the easy part, getting something out was hard. It’s on the tip of your tongue; praise, gratitude, instructions, a moan. Much like your veins being full of concrete, it feels like your lungs are suffering the same fate. 

Eventually, the stranger makes an appearance leaning over you. A man with long, dark locks and gorgeous purple eyes hovers in your line of sight and your heart just about stops. The ends of his hair tickle your chest, cascading over his shoulder like a waterfall, eyes forming crescent moons as he smiles. He too feels familiar, but you can’t say you’ve ever seen him in your life. 

The weight of him pressed between your legs is just as delicious as his mouth, rocking his hips slowly into you to keep that spark of adrenaline going. You think he’s warm, even if it’s a dream. When he leans in to kiss you, it might be one of the greatest moments of your life. 

Warm, comforting, you can taste a tinge of yourself on his tongue. You move together naturally, you knew his every move like it was common knowledge. The act made your heart swell, a happiness you haven’t felt in so long. Nothing matters beyond this moment, this man is everything to you, even if you don’t know who he is. 

Finally you’re able to moan into his mouth as his tongue slides across yours, a noise that seems to encourage him. He shuffles between your legs, lips still pressed together as he guides himself into you. Another noise the man swallows is your pleasant gasp, sparks of lightning thumping through you at the feeling of utter fullness. 

You feel breathless. Airy, light, so completely and utterly—

Awake from the sound of your alarm. 

It takes a moment to realise what has happened, what is happening. Your thighs are sticky and the thrum of pleasure still lingers in your fingertips. A grown adult and you were having a wet dream, how shameful. 

Some people dream and others don’t — alongside the fact some people remember their dreams and for others they’re a distant and foggy memory. Typically you don’t dream and on the odd occasion you do, it’s the latter and you move on with your day. 

Except you couldn’t get that damn man out of your thoughts. He plagued you all morning as you showered away your sins, commuted to work and sent out a handful of boring emails that had been waiting for you overnight. You’d be falling asleep at your desk if it weren’t for him and the periodical pulse of your clit at the thought of pleasure. It feels like you hardly slept a wink last night — probably because your brain was too busy conjuring up these images to excite you while you slept. 

Your computer monitor buzzes as the Word document before you blinks, half empty and begging you to do your job and send it away for someone else to look at. If you thought you’d get away with it, you’d sneak away for a power nap in the bathroom. 

It nags at you that you know that man from somewhere — you must have seen him before. You read somewhere that your mind can’t create new faces, everyone you see in your dreams is someone you’ve seen before, even those you’ve passed in the street once. He feels familiar though, like you have a connection somehow. It’s as though you’ve seen that face hundreds of times before, felt his touch and tasted those kisses, committed it all to memory. Yet it feels hazy and untrue, you can’t seem to find the correct files in your mind to determine who he is. 

You texted your friend for a pick-me-up when no one was looking. All you need is someone to talk to, maybe indirectly air out your dream just to laugh about it. Nanami was quick to respond and agree, which you expected because it’s his favourite place to eat. 

“Didn’t sleep last night?” He comments before you could even take off your coat, causing you to huff and reluctantly smile. 

“Do I look that bad?” You ask as you hang your coat on the back of your chair, sitting down with a sigh and pulling the menu book towards yourself. 

Nanami smiles behind his coffee. “Would it be impolite of me to say yes?” 

Looking up at him from behind the menu and under your brow, you hum in disapproval but he takes it in stride. You are quick to decide what you want — your usual — and stop pretending you’re interested in anything else. 

“I was dreaming all night so I didn’t get much rest.” 

“Nightmares?” He raises an eyebrow when you shake your head. 

“No…” Your heart flutters at the images that flash through your mind, the memories of a story your mind created. “Just…Dreams.” 

Nanami is quick to drop the topic after your cautious answer, of which you are and aren’t grateful for. You thought it would be easier to slide the topic past him, to laugh at such a crude thing, but now that you’re here and his harsh yet soft features unintentionally bore into you, you’ve grown nervous and embarrassed. 

Instead, the conversation moves to your office jobs. He works elsewhere to you, though you met when you were both in school. You don’t remember much of anything from your teenage years but you do know you’ve been friends for a long time. It’s easy to talk to Nanami about your office woes, the emails and incapable workers and insane deadlines and so many emails. 

Frustratingly enough, the man of your dreams (literally) was still lingering in the back of your mind as you ate. 

“Do you dream, Nanami?”

While you expected him to raise an eyebrow at your question and respond with one of his own, he seems to be in deep thought contemplating an answer. In an attempt to ease the anxiety that sits in your chest, you avoid his eyeline and stuff yourself with food just a little too fast. 

“Not often.” He finally responds and it’s enough to satisfy you just a little. “When I do, I'm usually tired, just like you.” 

You never did mention any of the details about your dream, nor did the topic come up again for fear of being judged. 

You didn’t think you’d be back so soon. 

As though you’d blinked and awoke again, you are looking over at what seems to be a common room. It’s too big and casual to be a personal living room, the kotatsu adorned with too many mugs and glasses to house a couple of people. Everything feels familiar again but it sits on the tip of your tongue. The half drank glass of soda feels like it’s commonplace, along with the novelty cat mug on the other side. 

Soon you realise you’re leaning over a kitchen counter, purposely bent over with the pressure of someone else right behind you. The pleasure sets in again much like it had before; dull, slowly growing with intensity the more you think about it, pieces falling into place the more you focus. This time moans fall easily from your lips, a natural reaction to the feeling of ecstasy that flows through your veins. Dropping your head between your shoulders and leaning against the cool counter, you arch your back and move to meet the rhythm of the stranger behind you. 

“Fuck…” You moan – the sound was distorted, barely a whisper and you wonder for a moment if you actually vocalised it. 

The person behind you leans over, draping their larger body over yours. It’s an act that brings warmth into your chest, makes you feel safe and comforted, like a warm and sexy blanket that’s fucking you in short strokes. It feels real this time compared to the last. You feel like you’re actually being fucked into the kitchen counter like this, even if you don’t know where these ideas have come from. 

When lips lean in to find your neck, you instinctively move to give them more access, tightening around their cock when they suck on your sensitive skin. You hiss and moan, moving your hips back and leaning further into the counter below, relaxing your whole body and letting them take control. 

After they pull away and begin kissing your cheek, you take your opportunity to look at your mysterious sex partner – somehow shocked to see the man from your dreams again. 

You expected it to be him– no, you were hoping it would be him. All through the day you couldn’t stop thinking about him or the dream, the softness of his eyes and his sharp nose, the way his tongue glided over yours – he was sickeningly addictive, so this would be the best outcome, right?

Moving took a lot of energy but you managed it, pushing back with little resistance from your dream man. It still feels like your body weighs a ton when you’re moving on your own accord. You gasp and groan to yourself as you stand up, turning around in the small space you’re trapped in between the counter and the mystery man. 

He’s just as gorgeous as the first time you saw him, and the second time in your head, and the third and the fourth…

Your mouth hangs open to speak but this time nothing comes out. It feels like your voice box has been removed, furrowing your eyebrows in frustration. His touch is soft around your waist and the motion brings sparks of life with him, a comfort that feels natural, even when it shouldn’t. You still can’t place him in your life but you’re sure he’s been with you forever. 

The man before you chuckles, a sound that creates butterflies in your stomach, using gentle fingers to press your mouth shut with a soft click.

Those hands around your waist tighten for a moment, pulling you up from the floor with ease and sliding you onto the counter where you were once leaning. Strangely enough you don’t fight him. There’s a sense of safety in this man’s arms and it’s not solely because this is your dream. Something about him is eating away at you, the sense of familiarity, as though you’ve played out this scenario before; a memory rather than a something you’ve created. 

He slots himself between your open legs, feeling his hard cock brush against your thigh and tickle your stomach, you flex and giggle at the sensation. It’s natural when your arms wrap around his neck, hanging loosely over his shoulders with your lips so dangerously close. His hot breath fans your face and you gasp quietly as his cock slides into you again, a delicious and welcomed stretch, and he takes the invitation to slide his tongue into your mouth. 

Despite the tiredness in your bones, you’re having a good time at the karaoke bar with friends. Your work clothes cling to you after the long day, mildly uncomfortable no matter how much you try to relax, attempting to physically and mentally let your hair down. Friday evening and your work week is over. 

You watch Gojo belt out lyrics of a song you don’t recognise, completely free and uncaring of anyone else in the room — especially Utahime scowling in the corner. It’s amusing that he’s the only truly sober person here and the most willing to utilise the microphone, putting on the performance of a lifetime for the others who are trying to get drunk and wind down or ignore him completely. 

The room is full of friends you’ve known for years, including Ijichi, Shoko and Nanami; you met everyone in high school as teenagers and have been a friend group since. All five of them spend almost everyday together working in the same office — you never got the memo apparently. Still, you were invited for a few rounds and some songs at the karaoke bar to wind down with them all, even if your workplace was a little further than around the block. 

Taking a sip of your drink, your mind finds itself wandering back to the man of your dreams. 

Every given moment he’s on your mind. If you relax for a moment without any distractions, he’s there again, smiling at you and creating a tight knot in your abdomen. Everyday this week you’ve seen him overnight in different scenarios, yet they’re always the same; you wake up, you realise you’re being pleasured sexually, you see him again and that same sense of comfort washes over you until you wake up. Having wet dreams is great when they’re not every single night. You’re tired and it feels like you haven’t slept at all. 

Through the flashing rainbow lights that dance along the room, you catch Nanami’s eye from the adjacent couch, smiling when he visibly sighs and finishes the rest of his drink then and there. 

He had almost a full glass. 

Without thinking about it, you move to sit next to him, a little drunk and a little too close as you brush your thigh against his and lean into him to talk over the music. “Can I tell you something?”

Nanami looks at you from the corner of his eye with scepticism — of which you responded to with a sleazy smile. You already laid down the groundwork of your problem to him earlier this week, so giving him an update shouldn’t be too jarring. 

“I’ve been having non-stop wet dreams all fucking week.” 

Sputtering on the empty drink, Nanami almost drops the glass in his hand and quickly sets it on the table to avoid disaster. He hadn’t anticipated that or for you to say it so bluntly, caught off guard by your confession, he composed himself but can’t seem to look at you. 

“Okay. Is that a good or a bad thing?” He asks cautiously, trying to remain polite but his eyes can’t seem to find yours as he speaks. 

You laugh and nudge his shoulder with yours, you were hoping the couple of beers would’ve loosened him up just like you. It wasn’t serious or a suggestion, just maybe looking for some support or guidance from another person who knew the brief history. 

“It’s good, I think.” You finish off your drink, watching as Nanami orders both of you another round on the tablet. “It’s been nice but…I feel like I recognise the guy in the dream but I don’t know where.” 

He nods briefly, trying to think of how to respond. You’re not sure what you expected since he’s not living in your head and what you’re looking for is unclear to even you. 

“A movie or show? New coworker you’ve only seen in passing?” 

You immediately know the answer, but indulge in Nanami by looking like you were thinking it over, shaking your head briefly with a dramatic sigh. “No, I don’t think so. It’s not often you see someone like him, so I would recognise him, I would’ve thought.” You continue. “He has really long dark hair, it’s half tied up with a cute little bang hanging down in front of his face — oh and he has the most gorgeous purple eyes and the softest smile I’ve seen on anyone.” 

It takes a moment for you to notice how stiff Nanami had gotten, frozen on the spot as his heart raced from your description. How do you not remember who the man is, yet you’re dreaming about him? It doesn’t make sense…

“Nanami? Do you know who I’m talking about?” 

Staff had entered the room with a drink delivery and Nanami almost threw away all his manners to grab his glass from the tray as quickly as possible. He mutters an apology as the woman bows after her surprise, leaving the room after setting down all the room's orders. You watch as Nanami gulps his drink, as though he needed the distraction, something to ease his conscience. 

The glass is lowered with an uncharacteristically loud hiss, placed back on the table and Nanami leans in close to your ear. “You should talk to Gojo.” 

And with that, he left the room after bidding a speedy farewell to the group. 

Burying your hands deeper in your pockets and dipping your nose behind the soft scarf wrapped around your neck, you lock your jaw to suppress a yawn and wait for Gojo’s lead. 

Despite the continued satisfying dreams, you’re still so fucking tired. Even without work and trying to catch up on sleep, it feels like something — or someone — keeps stealing your good nights rest. Last night you slept for twelve hours and it feels like you hardly got four. The dream man has been weighing heavily on your mind since Friday evening when you mentioned it to Nanami, still confused and worried with the way he left so quickly — he assured you it wasn’t anything you’d said or done, but it was definitely related. 

A chilly Sunday afternoon spent with Gojo isn’t the worst, though you’d rather be hanging out in a quiet cafe or shopping for something fun instead of wandering around the city for a stamp rally. “Where else do we need to go?” You ask passively, looking at the leaflet in Gojo’s hand out the corner of your eye. 

For a few moments he doesn’t respond, hardly even moves to show you he’s alive. Dark, square glasses are perched on his nose to shield his eyes from the world, and for a second you wonder if he’d even heard you. “There’s a couple more Family Mart locations we need to go to on the other side of the city,” He says finally with a smile, “Then I should have redeemed everything possible.” 

The leaflet is quickly folded again and slid back into his pocket, allowing him to lead the way towards the next location. Neither your mind or your heart was in the activity, and Gojo knew that from the start. Still, you trailed beside him and weaved through the busy streets of Akihabara, desperately trying to stir up a flawless plan that will get you the answers you want. The dream man didn’t seem like much of an issue at first, just something your mind had made up, until Nanami had such a strange reaction to your details. At worst, Gojo will have an equally weird response and dodge your questions – an act he is a master of. 

Inhaling deep and as quietly as possible, you start, “I’ve been having dreams lately…” It’s a good sign when Gojo hums in response, clearly half interested when beelining towards the next location. “I mentioned it to Nanami the other day and he told me to talk to you.” 

He huffed a laugh, glancing over at you from behind his glasses. “I can’t imagine why. I don’t dream about anything; it’s not like I’m an expert on the subject.” 

“I don’t know,” You respond a little defensive, “I told him I’ve been having dreams every night and it’s always the same guy in them.” Gojo wiggles his eyebrows over his glasses, a stupid grin spread across his lips. You scoff and nudge him with your shoulder, dipping your head in mild embarrassment. “Shut up.”

The conversation doesn’t progress as you both enter the Family Mart, greeted with the familiar ding and call from staff welcoming you to the store as they tend to their duties. Thankfully this location is tucked away and less busy than some of the others, easing the embarrassment of someone unintentionally eavesdropping on your conversation. 

Gojo finds the stamp set up by the door, pulling out a different piece of paper from his pocket and flattening it for inking. You watch with a pit in your stomach, hoping that he would’ve given you a proper response rather than brushing you off with his stupid, childish demeanour. He’s your friend and he’s supposed to be supporting you in your time of need, not focusing on his goddamn stamps to collect free sweets and stickers. 

“I told Nanami what the guy looks like and then he got weird with me.” You continue, leaning into the station and in turn Gojo, looking around to make sure no one could hear. “Long black hair, it’s always half up in a bun with a side bang, big black earrings, purple eyes…”

It happened again. 

Gojo visibly stiffens, a shift in the air. He holds onto the stamp against the paper longer than necessary for a small, round design and you furrow your eyebrows at him. He knows something, the same as Nanami and neither of them will tell you what any of this means. It’s too strange and consistent to be a coincidence, but you can’t figure out why you can’t get any answers on who this guy is. You’re beginning to worry he’s a criminal or worse, a long lost relative. 

A switch flipped and Gojo moved again with natural fluidity, like he wasn’t paralysed for a solid thirty seconds. The stamp is removed to show an overly inked design and slotted back into its holder, the sheet of paper held up to be admired. “I have no idea.” 

You sigh, literally deflating and clenching your fists in your pockets, holding yourself back from grabbing him by the collar and demanding answers. You should’ve expected this. 

“It sure doesn’t seem that way…”

“The brain is weird.” Gojo says with a smile, though it’s clear he’s trying to act as normal as he possibly can. There’s an inclination in his tone that’s just a little off; he definitely knows something. “It makes up everything for you, even stuff that’s not useful or meaningful to you – you know that, right?” He blows on the splotchy ink to dry it as quickly as possible. “Dreams are just your mind making up stories to keep you entertained while you sleep.”

Before you could mutter another word, Gojo was quick to leave the store with the dried stamp sheet in his pocket. He didn’t care if you had kept up with him or not – it seemed like he would be grateful if you didn’t care to follow anymore. You frown and frustration bubbles within, unwilling to give up as you rush to follow. Although not convinced of his answer, you refrain from bringing up the subject again. 

Like clockwork, the man of your dreams is here again.

This time, you're sitting in his lap, hips rocking slowly as you bounce. It fills your heart with warmth, that connection you feel to this mysterious entity is greater than before — you'd dare to say it might even be love. After fucking in your dreams every night and haunted by his presence in your memories throughout the day, it shouldn't be much of a surprise you've grown fond of him, but it doesn't feel so artificial. Maybe your mind is telling you that you do know him, there's a reason Nanami and Gojo are acting so strange.

For a moment you allow yourself to enjoy bliss. Big, strong hands hold you at your waist and let you move as you wish, though his grip reminds you he's still in control. A little too slow or a little too fast, he's squeezing supple flesh and guiding you how he needs you, hips thrusting up to meet yours with a delicious slap of skin. At this angle he's hitting every sweet spot you have, buried so deep it feels like he can reach your lungs. The room feels familiar again, still unable to place exactly where you are; it's an office, that much you can be sure of with the large desk in the centre of the room and abundance of shelves and books. It feels formal, an important space where maybe you shouldn't be on the couch fucking.

Your dream man smiles at you when you turn to him again, a sweet and sultry sight. Every dream you try to talk to him, to say something worthy of a response — instead, all you can ever muster are moans of pleasure as your pussy is fucked and eaten over and over again. Your mouth hangs open, trying to speak but the words are lodged in your throat, stuck behind the boulder that seems to appear whenever you try to focus. He's never spoken to you either, but it's unlikely that he has the same struggle as you.

His mouth is slotted over yours with ease, tongue licking into yours and you swallow his angelic moan with great enthusiasm. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you pull him tighter into you — chest to chest, clothed this time, embracing the dream-like warmth as he remains buried deep inside of you.

When you pull away, you try again and again. The man watches with almost smug glee as you try desperately, opening and closing your mouth and swallowing down the large obstruction that keeps you from talking. He raises his eyebrows with a grin, squeezing your waist in a form of encouragement. Holding his breath and mouth agape, your dream man watches and waits to see if you'll finally mutter something out.

"Who are you?"

It falls from your lips unnaturally, stuttered out like you were speaking for the first time in centuries. Foreign to your ears but it's undeniable that those were your words. Your dream man laughs, holding back a cheer that you did it.

"Suguru." He purrs and it feels like a stab to the chest — you have no idea why.

"Suguru…?" You parrot back to him, holding back a moan as he shifts ever so slightly inside of you, hard cock brushing against your walls and sending dull waves of pleasure through your hazy mind. The name doesn't feel as strange on your tongue, rather quite natural; as though you've said it thousands, maybe millions of times before.

He hums, "I love hearing you say my name." Suguru's voice is like silk, so luxurious and soft. "You're so beautiful when you say it."

One of the hands around your waist comes up to pet your hair, so gentle that it sends pleasant shivers down your spine. The way he threads his fingers through your locks is so easy, thumb pressing against your cheek while he takes in your visual. You can't help but lean into it, smiling and holding onto his wrist to keep him in place. There's so much love shared between you that it feels impossible to have only just learnt this man's name.

Turning to kiss the palm of his hand, you mumble against his skin, "Suguru who?"

His grin widens from the adoring smirk he wore, all teeth and secrets, his eyes remain as soft as ever when they look at you. "You should ask Satoru, baby."

'We need to talk NOW'

The text burns a hole through Gojo's phone almost literally — he can feel your unbridled rage through a few words and after inviting you over, tries to recall what you could possibly be so upset with him about. Even when he opens his door to you with a bright and cheeky smile, you glare up at him with the fury of a thousand beasts.

"You can only come in if you give me a smile."

"Gojo I will kill you, infinity be damned I will find a way — now let me in." You growl and Gojo doesn't tempt fate more than he already has, relenting and stepping aside for you to walk through the door, still smiling and hoping to casually charm his way out of whatever he did this time.

"Who is Suguru?" You blurt out once you'd stormed your way into the living room, standing in the centre and folding your arms across your chest. Bile threatens to emerge just speaking his name aloud — there's something about it that brings about pleasant yet horrible feelings, boils your blood with frustration because you can't seem to figure out how you know this man.

The name bounces off of the walls and into Gojo's ears as he follows you, struggling to hide his features without any obstructions over his eyes or a tall jacket to hide the upturn at the corner of his lips. "Tea?" He offers, instead of an explanation.

"Answers, Gojo."

His face falls, stiff as a board and visibly closing up on you. While he remains in the living room, you are full of so many questions and frustration it's hard to get anything out.

"I…I keep dreaming about this guy, Suguru is all I know. I don't know if this is some — stupid weird shit going on in my head or I'm actually insane or there's a ghost that talks to me in my sleep but…!" You release the breath you'd been holding, filling your lungs again instantly. "I didn't think much about it until both you and Nanami freaked out when I mentioned what he looked like. Why do you guys know him and I don't?" Watching as Gojo avoids your line of sight, you groan and run your hands through your hair in frustration. "He — my brain, my dream, whatever told me to ask you specifically. Suguru said specifically 'ask Satoru'; I'm begging you to tell me what you know."

You expected Gojo to fight back, keep his lips sealed so tight that not even the temptation of his favourite sweets would get him to talk. Nanami's number was ready and waiting on your phone screen for when you leave, determined to get an answer from either of them one way or another.

Instead, he laughs. Shoulders deflating and head hanging low, he laughs to himself.

"I knew this would happen someday but not like this!" You blink once, twice. Is this all a joke? "Come with me, I want you to see something."

When you came here you were expecting a verbal (and possibly physical) brawl. You were pumped up and ready to fight for what you want, but since Gojo isn't matching your energy in a way that makes sense, you're left just as deflated — the difference is that you're nervous and scared, rather than his relaxed demeanour. Gojo disappears into the hallway, waiting by one of the doors for you to follow. Standing at the doorway to the living room you eyed him suspiciously, looking more like a scared child than the brazen bull you entered as. He didn't mind much, not bothering to tease you about it and instead offered his typical cheeky smile as he called for you to follow.

You watch at the entry of what looks to be a spare bedroom turned office as Gojo clambers through various items in the closet. He mumbles to himself as he slides things back and forth, looking for something on the top shelf he can easily reach. "Found it." Gojo announces, dragging out a big plastic box deep within. He huffs with its weight, readjusting his grip with it balanced on his knee for a moment and seeming to juggle with the item by himself — he'd tortured you enough that he doesn't deserve your help.

"Take a seat, relax." Gojo nods his head towards the desk chair, throwing the items that fell in his search back into the closet.

Despite your apprehension, you sit where instructed and watch Gojo drop the plastic box in front of you. Looking up at him, he motions with his hands for you to open the box yourself, taking a step back and leaning against the adjacent wall. You're scared to look inside — you trust Gojo as your friend but something about this makes you uneasy. The secrets, the feelings, what will you find out opening this box?

Part of you expects there to maybe be a dead body, even corpse pieces or a reptile or mouldy food inside. Shaky hands pop open the plastic lid and you're greeted with a bunch of paper. A layer of it scattered across the top of the box, sheets folded in numerous ways and some more worn than others. Picking one up, you recognise your handwriting instantly. It's a letter it seems, addressed to 'Sugubear' and signed off by you. The first line feels familiar but you can’t place it, a distant memory but you recognise it, almost like when you first started seeing Suguru in your dreams. You open another folded piece of paper and another; most of them are someone’s handwriting you don't recognise but it's far better than yours, elegant and practised, always addressed to you and signed by Suguru.

There's a strange feeling in your chest that's so difficult to describe. A flurry of emotions, all of it bundled together inside a bottle of confusion — you don't know what to think. You don't remember any of these letters and at the same time you do, it feels like you should remember them. Much like a word on the tip of your tongue that you can't seem to find, you feel like you should know these letters.

Beneath the paper are birthday and new years cards, all signed by Suguru. That same intricate handwriting wishing you well, signing his name with such elegance it would make anyone jealous. It feels like you're getting closer. The golden tassels of a red card are delicate under your fingertips and you know this feeling more than any other time you've given and received cards. There's happiness in your heart, flashes of glee.

Your heart races to the point it aches. A part of you doesn't want to look anymore — curiosity killed the cat and you're no longer as curious as you once were. There's so much love and happiness in all these letters, why do you feel so much grief looking at it all? Without reading everything one by one, you already know that you were in love with this man, what happened?

A large photo album sits in the centre of the box, one that has been staring at you since you uncovered the first letter. Black leather, it's sleek and expensive looking, a cherished item that's been rotting away in a plastic box. Your chest grows tight when fingertips dance along the edges of the book, scared to find out what's inside.

The first photo that greets you is one of you and Suguru, the man in your dreams. Smiling at the camera cheek to cheek, it looks like a selfie before phone cameras were such a staple. You both look younger in this photo, almost like you were teenagers. Flipping through the book, there's multiple photos of you both in here. Another is a candid shot that someone else took, you sat in Suguru's lap at what looks to be a party, based on the alcoholic can in your hand. Other pictures you're feeding each other in a restaurant, grainy photos but it seems smart phones had evolved since the first dozen pages. More pictures of you and Suguru show you both wearing what look to be school uniforms, tailored a little differently to one another but you’re still a little old to be students.

You furrow your brows when you see the next photo; it's a group shot that includes Gojo, Shoko, Nanami and all your other friends with you and Suguru. At least that explains why Gojo and Nanami reacted like they did, however you're still frustrated with their secrecy. The answer is on the tip of your tongue, the memories of this man are so close within reach.

It clicks when you see the cherry blossoms. Suguru stood before you cradling your cheek, that loving smile on his face while you laughed at the gust of wind that blew pink petals across your face. It was a sweet moment — you felt like you were in an anime. You loved this photo Utahime had taken so much that you framed it and kept it on your nightstand for years.

Clearly Suguru was your boyfriend and all the puzzle pieces clicked into place. The memories of this moment come flooding back into your mind, an overwhelming sensation that draws tears into your eyes. It's hard to breathe but you can't stop looking, even if teardrops land on the clear plastic protecting lost memories. Your boyfriend who you'd spent your late teens dating, continuing into your early adult life together. Forgetting such a big part of your life is harrowing but you're grateful to have them back.

Closing the book you return to the box, picking out a little plushie tucked in between other various memories. It's an animal mascot from an anime that was popular at the time, but you remember it was so fluffy and soft. Suguru won it for you in the arcade, the first thing he'd ever gotten you since you'd begun dating, worn and squished because you'd sleep with it whenever Suguru was away on missions.

On missions.

They don't work at a fucking office. None of your friends work at an office, they work at your old school where you met. You used to work at that school — a school for jujutsu sorcerers. You're a jujutsu sorcerer, born with a unique ability and you're working a fucking office job because you forgot everything. Everything continues falling into place the more you look, the more dots you connect and realise just how much was lost. It's hard not to be angry at your friends for lying to you, but they'd hidden such a huge part of your life for what reason?

You're fully sobbing now, burying your face into the worn plushie and savouring the comfort it offers. It's painful how different your life used to be.

"There was an accident." Gojo finally speaks up, though it's not exactly the best time, you hold your breath. "Both you and Suguru." You don't recognise his voice, so low and serious it's almost like there's pain behind it. He had made peace with what happened long ago. "All three of us were out on a mission and it was too much. If it weren't for Suguru, you'd be dead."

Fragments of the incident try to make their place in your mind; all you can claw at is the feeling of grief, fear that tore through you, although you can't be sure if that's a memory or something you made up. Much like everything else, it feels familiar but distant.

"He sacrificed himself for you but you still took a serious hit to the head, one that Shoko couldn't salvage." He continues and finally, you look at him. Leaning against the wall, his head is low and arms crossed over his chest. You don't remember any of this, so you can only begin to imagine how painful it is to recall it all. "You were left with memory loss that only worsened over time. Whenever any of us brought up Suguru or being a sorcerer, you'd lose it."

That…you kind of remember. The accident is still a hazy fog, you're not sure if you even want it back. All the emotions still linger in your heart.

"You'd get angry and isolate yourself, it had all of us worried when you'd threaten us or yourself so, we pretended like none of it ever happened."

You brush your thumbs over the sewn in thread that decorates the plushie, soaking worn fur with your hot tears. It doesn't matter anymore, but you're full of regret for putting any of your friends through that.

"That box was yours. I found you a few times going through everything inside of it and it only drove you further away from us, so I kept it here with me instead." There's an apology on your lips, whispered into the plush you buried your face into. "We all pretended to be regular people like you, just so you could keep going like Suguru wanted."

Your uncontrollable wails return, shutting off any more information from Gojo entirely. It hurts, all of it hurts so much but it’s so freeing. As though you're grieving your lost love all over again, you fall into Gojo's arms when he approaches and pulls you into a hug, allowing you to get everything out of your system much like he had years prior.

"I'm sorry," You hiccup between pitiful sobs, "I'm so sorry."

Gojo laughs because that's all he can do with tears in his eyes, swallowing thick as he strokes your arms and tries to keep his own emotions tempered.

When you fall asleep that same night, you meet Suguru again. This time it was much different.

You weren't in the middle of an intimate act, no thrum of pleasure shooting through your body or comforting warmth of your love. Instead, he appeared in his teacher's uniform standing beneath a tree, pink cherry blossoms lazily drifting around him. Never have you been so excited to see him before.

"Suguru!"

He turns but he already knew you were there, smiling so sweetly and opening his arms for you. Running as fast as you could, you leap into him with a giggle, wrapping your limbs around his body and squeezing tight. You never want to let go again.

"Satoru told you." Suguru states, voice muffled by the press of your shoulder against his lips. Pulling back, you pepper his face in as many kisses as you could.

"I'm sorry I forgot about you."

Suguru chuckles, creating a flurry of butterflies in your stomach. "It's okay, I'm just glad you remember." He kisses your cheek all the way to your lips, sweet and purposeful. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'm never going to forget you again, promise."

[rekino2114]

for the valentines day prompts maybe A number 12

, the bubble bath with a fem nagi?

Taking a bubble bath with fem!nagi

Prompts list

Pairing:fem!seishiro nagi x gn reader

A/n:This was one of the requests for the Valentine's Day event, but I'm gonna do it now cause the same prompt is in the normal prompt list. Nagi is aged up

The moment you opened the door to your house your girlfriend stopped clinging to you and fell headfirst on the couch

"Are you tired sei?"

She turned around and stared at ceiling with her classic blank expression

"Yeah, my muscles feel like they're burning"

"I get that, today's training was pretty harsh"

"Why does Prince want me to work on my physic this much? I'm already good enough as it is"

"He's just like that with everyone"

"Yeah but his training is wayyyyy too extreme. *sighs* it's such a hassle"

You giggled and went over to nagi to kiss her cheek

"I know just the thing to relax, how about we take a bath together?"

"Uh.....yeah...that would be nice.....I don't have to put in the water and everything though right?"

"Of course not, you're already tired like this"

Nagi looked up at you and gave you a slight smile

"I love you, you're the best"

"Love you too, I'm gonna go put the water now, you just do whatever you want"

She gave you a thumbs up as you went in the bathroom to start the bath. When you saw there was enough water, you put a bath bomb in to add more bubbles since you knew nagi liked them.

You smiled seeing the bathtub fully filled with water and walked back to the living room to tell nagi everything was ready

"Hey bab-........."

You found her playing a videogame.....with her jersey and shorts thrown on the ground and her being in just her bra and panties

"Oh is the bath ready?"

"Why are you in your underwear?"

"....to bathe, I'm gonna take these off too later"

"Yeah but why even before the bath was ready?"

Nagi just shrugged as you sighed but still continued to blush even more as you started taking off your own clothes

"You do look beautiful so I guess I can't complain"

Taking that as a sign, nagi took her underwear off too

"You too"

"Oh thanks"

You held her hand as you went to the bathroom, and in the bathtub, you laid down first, allowing nagi to lay on your chest and to be wrapped around your arms

"Are you comfy?"

The lazy genius nodded and started to speak, which caused some bubbles to rise since her mouth was submerged in the water

"Hehe, I suppose that's a yes, I'm gonna wash your hair now"

You took some shampoo and started massaging her scalp and stroking her long white hair, coating it thoroughly with the shampoo.

"OK I'm done now, I should probably wash your body now, are you OK with that?"

The white haired girl opened her eyes and raised her head a bit so she could speak

"Yeah, totally, thank you"

"It's nothing"

You ran your bodywash covered hands through your girlfriend's body, making sure to be gentle while touching her curves (even with how much you were blushing) you then laid back down with her just to relax in the bath more now that the washing part was finished

"Are you feeling better now sei?"

"Yeah definitely, thanks so much"

"I told you it's nothing, I love you and would do anything for you"

"No really, thank you, I don't know how I'd live without you"

"That's so sweet, I feel the same babe"

Nagi just shut her eyes and let herself relax more into you, you smiled at this and started playing with her hair again

"If you ever need something just say it, I really love you nagi, and I know you love me too, so there's nothing I wouldn't do to see you happy"

Nagi didn't answer so you raised your eyebrows and tapped her head a bit

"Nagi?"

You saw her eyes were fully closed and her body completely relaxed.....she was sleeping

"Hehe, seems like you really were tired"

You raised her head a bit but still put her in a comfortable position so she could continue her nap

"Well sweet dreams love"

You kissed her cheek and stretched, closing your own eyes but continuing to run your hands through your girlfriend's white hair

[nanabansama]

Lantern Flower

I was rereading the new chapter again and I just realized this new little neko-chan introduces himself alongside some flowers! Hanakotoba is always one of my favorite parts of the series to discuss, so naturally I just had to make a post about this...

As you can tell by the title, this is the lantern flower (鬼灯). While they aren't shown in color in the manga panel, these flowers are known for their bright, red-orange bulbs that resemble paper lanterns.

The meanings for this flower are both plentiful and fun! First, the positive meanings are as follows: "natural beauty" and "peace of mind." While not every single flower meaning is likely considered or intended when AidaIro incorporates flowers into their work, I wonder if this is a clue that Tsukasa enjoys his new life as a toy cat?

I also want to mention that this flower is used in Obon celebrations! Obon is a festival to honor the dead wherein spirits that have passed on will briefly return to the mortal realm to visit their families and former homes. These flowers are then planted or decorated around a home so that the spirit can easily find their way back. By the way, the kanji used in the Japanese word for lantern flower, 鬼灯, can also be translated as "ghost light"!

Now, onto the darker meanings... "Deception"; "Lie"; "Tempt me"; "Lead me on"; "Infidelity"

These are... extremely concerning?! Not that I'm saying there's any infidelity going on here, but why are so many of these implying the cat might not be telling the truth...? What exactly could he be lying about, then? Is he actually the Clock Keepers' handservant and the resident mouser, or is he someone more important? What does he know...??

If I had to guess the reason AidaIro chose this flower for the cat, I think the "deception" meaning is likely the main one. Not to mention the cat is closing his eyes when he says this--a common (albeit not reliable) sign that someone is lying. Hmm, suspicious...

Of course, I can't neglect to mention that the reason lantern flowers are associated with "deception" is because of their extremely large calyx, AKA the thing that gives it its lantern shape. Calling it a flower is actually somewhat erroneous, since the flower itself has already wilted long before the lantern flower takes on its characteristic appearance. It takes on this shape to protect the seeds of the wilted flowers until it's the seed's time to fall.

Now, if we wanted to interpret this negative meaning as positively as we possibly can, we could interpret the usage of the lantern flower to mean that the cat is simply not what it seems, and that if you peeled back its shell you would find something familiar underneath. I'm actually totally fine with this interpretation, as I find it really hard to imagine the cat is pulling wool over anyone's eyes when he keeps getting tricked by Ninja Yashiro Nene and seems really keen to get away from her. That said, it's always best to stay on our toes! Now stop me before I can explain why the flower is associated with "infidelity"...

Oh, and I wanted to mention that lantern flowers have shown up at least one other time in the series as well! Take a look:

You can see them in the lower right corner by Amane's bum!

There's likely no deep connection between these two images, but I am glad to see these flowers again. Especially since I didn't appreciate them and all their many meanings the first time I saw them with Amane. Hmm...! Now why were they drawn with Amane, I wonder...?