#it's just a couple minutes until 3am so definitely time for bed

[kakyogay]

ough it's late uhh umm uhh umm have a moxxie

[kpop---scenarios]

The One (1)

Pairing: Mafia! Lee Know x Reader

Warning: Kidnapping, Mentions of Blood, Weapons, Launguage, and Smut [18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOY INTERACT]

Word Count: 15.6k

Everything Taglist: @wife2straykids @piscesrising01 @baby-stay92 @kisses-too-the-moon @dwaekkiiracha @rylea08 @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @satosugu4l l @iovecb97 @lordmaahes-nsc @sailorkoss @minh0scat @pixie0627 @50-husbands @jinnies-muse @yaorzu-blog @joyofbebbanburg @number1jeonginstan @skzooluvr @jisunglyricist @ambersnowxxx @stay-tiny-things @thegingerthatwaited

@silly250 @tsunderelino @1810cl @anskiiz @ayyonoona

@31maze13

Fuck, you were tired.

You knew that going out the night before you had to work was a bad idea, but you have always loved a good bad idea, and you only live once so what the hell. You and a friend had gone to check out a club you'd heard a lot about but had yet to experience, and when you tell people you had the best time, you fucking meant it. The vibes in that place were immaculate, the drinks were strong and flowing steadily, not to mention the music they played were all the most perfect songs for dancing and grinding. You'd never had so much fun out, which is why by the time you looked at a clock, you realized it was 6am, and you had to work a double shift in 6 hours. But by the time you had gotten home, showered, ate and crawled into bed, you had to be up in 4.5 hours, and you just knew you were going to die of exhaustion today. And you were right. The day went by so slowly and the bar fluctuated in busy times, leaving you energized but also so exhausted.

Finally, you hit the last five hours of work but you knew that it would go by the slowest. It was only 10pm, and all you could focus on was the dull hum of the shitty music that played through the almost broken overhead speakers. The smell of beer and bleach surrounded you, although the smell gave you a headache it also was a sense of comfort, you were too used to it now.

You stood up, trying to shake the tiredness off, if you stood around any longer you were definitely going to fall asleep on the bar. You had been fine earlier, when it was actually busy but after the mid evening rush, you had only gotten one table, and they weren't pleasant. You walked over to the couple that had sat in the very back of the bar to ask if they needed anything else.

“No.” the woman spat, glaring at you before turning back to the man she was with. You say nothing more, instead walk back towards the bar to find something, anything to do. Instead of doing anything, you stood behind the bar staring at the clock. Maybe if you stared at it, then time would speed up.

It didn't.

You’d never seen time move so slowly until tonight. It was a Sunday, the one night of the week that you technically weren’t scheduled to work. However, you decided to be a nice person and take the shift from your co-worker, who was the girl who also shared the same name as you. She tried to explain to you why she couldn't work but honestly you didn't care enough to listen to Y/N 2.0's reasoning for needing it covered. You figured it was for some shady reason that she would try to cover up with something not so shady. You knew that because she was shady. She constantly had questionable people hanging out in the bar, they were always whispering while their eyes darted around the place, they were so paranoid and it weirded you out but she was kinda nice and did the bare minimum of her job, so you didn't care too much. You're brought out of your thoughts a few minutes later when the man comes up to pay his tab, while also whispering a slight apology for the woman he was with.

“No worries, you two have a great night.” you smile. The woman scoffs at you as she grabs the sleeve of the man, yanking him out of the bar. You just shook your head, you didn’t want her man, you just wanted your bed. You wanted to cry, you could hear your bed calling your name. Why the fuck was a bar even open until 3am on a Sunday? You cleaned off the table, looking around the empty establishment and heavily debated on closing early. It was now 10:45pm, and you still had just over four hours until you were done but you weren't waiting that long. There's no way.

12:00am. You’d give it a little over an hour and if no one showed up in that amount of time, you were going to close. You’d happily take the anger from your boss if it meant you could get out of this hellhole at a decent time. You went to the back office and told Gary that you were going to close early if no one showed up. He just grunted at you, he didn’t care. He was just there to do the cashout and go home, he wanted nothing else to do with anyone or anything.

You did all your closing things, sweeping and mopping the floors, washing the dishes, cleaning everything for the next person to open in the morning.

11:58 pm, you anxiously watched the clock. There was still no one there.

11:59pm you walked to the door. You were just about to lock it when it was pushed open, and 3 men casually walked in, grins on their faces.

You immediately felt uneasy.

"You're still open right?" One of the men asks, tilting his head to the side.

"I was about to close." You admit.

"The sign says you’re open until 3am though." One says, raising his eyebrow and glancing at the clock. “It’s only 12:01am.”

"It’s been extremely slow, so I was going to close.” you say. “But you’re here, so we're open." You say through gritted teeth, forcing a smile.

You had been so looking forward to crawling into your bed.

"What can I get you?" You ask, hoping it would be a beer each and then they would leave. Maybe they would sense your exhaustion and take pity on you.

"3 shots of tequila, and 3 whiskey and cokes." One man says.

“OKay.” you smile, heading back to the bar to make the drinks. As you're pouring their drinks you glance up, glancing at them and notice they are watching you. You couldn't help it, you had a horrible feeling in your stomach, and the vibes they had, they weren't good.

You brought their drinks over to the table, trying to hide your nervousness. You set each drink down with a shaky hand. You took a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself.

"So, what’s your name, beautiful?" One man asks before taking his shot.

"Really Felix?" Another chuckle.

"Don’t act like you don’t want to know either, Hyunjin." The other laughs.

"I know I do." The last man smirks.

"So there, all three of us want to know." One smiles.

You stand there, debating. Do you give them your real name or do you make a name up? They stared at you, waiting for you to say something.

"Um, it’s Y/N." You say.

"Well!” one of them exclaims. “That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful girl." He smirks. You give him an awkward half smile before walking away, but not before you hear the one named Felix whisper "It's her."

After you had served their drinks and checked on them again, you went to the back off, just to warn Gary. the feeling in your stomach wasn’t going away and you wanted him to be aware.

“Hey Gary, there's some shady men in here, I don't like their vibes so if I scream, please come help me.” you whisper, looking behind you to make sure one of them wasn't standing there.

“Sure, maybe.” Gary says, not looking at you.

If anything happened, you were totally on your own.

Around 2:30 am, you asked if they needed anything else, especially considering none of them ordered anything else, and sat there staring at you for the last 2.5 hours.

"Just the bill please, Y/N." Hyunjin smiles, pulling out his wallet.

You print off the bill, and gently place it on the table before walking away. You finished cleaning the glasses from their table as Hyunjin tosses some money on the table. You went to the back to put the glasses away and by the time you were back up front, they were gone, and there was a $100 bill left for the $30 bill.

At least you got a little something tonight.

You squeezed your eyes shut as a large yawn took over. You were finishing up the last of the organizing before you were finally done. Your feet felt heavy, they dragged as you walked around switching off the lights. Your body became more tired as you gathered your belongings before walking out the back door.

The crisp cool air hits your face as you leave the building, closing the door to lock it. The city is quiet, all you can hear is the gentle breeze of the wind along with faint sounds of the booming nightlife from the downtown area. there was always something going on down there, where you worked though, not many people wanted to go there late at night.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, you began your walk home. You always preferred walking as opposed to wasting money on a cab, especially since you didn't live very far from the bar. You never had an issue on your way home in the past, so you never thought that tonight would be any different. If anything, you’d encounter someone who cat-called you but never did anything else. It wasn’t the safest neighborhood but nothing bad had ever happened to you.

However, tonight, you couldn’t shake that bad feeling. You had thought when the men left and you were headed home that you would feel even the slightest bit better, but if anything, you felt worse. It was like your body was screaming at you that something was going to happen. You continued on your way, keeping your head down, only glancing up to see where you were going, but you could hear the footsteps behind you. You tried to keep your pace and whoever it was was staying steadily behind you. When you slowed down, you could hear them slowing down. As you picked up your pace again, you could hear them speeding up. You held onto yourself a little tighter, taking deep breaths, trying to ease the hard knot in your stomach. You muttered to yourself, telling yourself that everything would be okay and you were almost home.

Your pace increases and you breathe a little easier as your apartment building comes into view, until the sound of footsteps behind you quicken, becoming louder and faster. Your breathing becomes heavier as you run to the stairs of the front door, your hand almost latches to the railing, just before you could pull yourself up the stairs, you feel something grab onto the back of your jacket, pulling you backwards. Your stomach dropped as your eyes shut, bracing for the impact of the concrete, but instead you met with a hard chest and arms wrapping around your body.

"Oh sweet, Y/N. Our boss will be so happy we found you. He’s been trying to get a hold of you, you know. He wants his money." the voice says, it sounds familiar.

You open your eyes wide. "What? What boss? What money?" You ask, panicking. You open your eyes and immediately recognize the men, the same ones who were in the bar earlier. You try to get up so you can run away but his grip is too tight.

"Don't play fucking stupid. We know it’s you, it won’t work. Let's go." The one whose name you hadn't heard snaps, grabbing your arm tightly, yanking you with him.

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about" you scream, trying to fight off his grip.

"Don't play stupid Y/N. We got your place of employment and your hours. Stop trying to act like you don't know you owe Lee Know $700k." Hyunjin says.

What? Who the fuck was Lee Know? The most you owed was $67 to your cable company. You didn’t know what to do, he was dragging you towards a van.

Scream Y/N, scream!

“Help! Someone please help me!” you scream as loud as you can. “Changbin, shut her up!” Felix spits.

Changbin slaps his other hand over your mouth, trying to quiet you down. You bite his hand, he yelps, shoving you down to the ground. You smack your head on the hard concrete, almost knocking you out. You quickly try to scramble to your feet, you need to run away, go anywhere away from here. You're caught by your ponytail by Hyunjin, he yanks you down to the ground, pinning you down with his body.

“Stop fucking fighting, you can’t get out of this.” he snaps, pulling you up and shoving you into the van.

“It’s not me,” you cry as you lay on the floor of the van, your head throbbing.

The whole time you were in the van, you tried to tell them they had the wrong person, and you couldn’t understand why they didn’t believe you. You had no idea who Lee Know was, what money they were talking about and why they thought that it was you who had it.

As you try to plead with them again, as the van abruptly stops, the door slides open and a bag is placed over your head. You tried to fight them off, to run away, to get your arms free. You tried digging your feet into the ground but nothing you did worked. The only thing it got you was a tighter grip, fingers digging into your skin, you knew there were going to be bruises left on you.

The three men drag you inside a building but you never stop trying to fight them off. "You've got the wrong person, I'm telling you." You plead.

"Shut the fuck up." Changbin snaps. Forcing you down onto your knees. "Felix, go tell him that we have her."

You hear the footsteps moving away from you, you assumed it was Felix going to do what Changbin told him to do. You hope they get hell when they find out you’re not who they’re looking for. Your stomach twists and turns, the anxiety is beginning to eat you alive, the unknown is terrifying.

What was going to happen to you?

Seconds later you're pulled up to your feet and forced to walk forward. "Get in there." Changbin snaps, shoving you through a door, you lose your balance, falling to the floor. Someone yanks your arm, helping you up to your knees only.

"Here you go boss. Here’s Y/N." Felix says, pulling the bag from your head.

The chair behind the desk turns around, all you can see is the silhouette of a body sitting in the chair. The light behind him shone on his face, covering it. You jumped when he spoke, his voice was deep, yet smooth like velvet.

"You're kidding me, right?" He asks. You can tell he was pissed by his voice.

"No, you asked for her. Here she is" Changbin says.

"I did ask for Y/N, but that's not her." He says.

"What?" The three men say, looking at each other.

"I said, that's not fucking her." He says again, his voice getting increasingly angrier.

"Y/N from Spuds, this is her Minho!" Felix panics. ”She served us there, she said her name was Y/N!”

"There's another Y/N that works there." You whisper, keeping your head down.

"So now we have two problems." Minho snaps. "First, the girl you're supposed to get is out there, who fucking knows where, with my fucking money." He yells. "Second problem, we have a beautiful girl here who now knows a little too fucking much.” he pauses.

“So boys, what do you expect me to do about it? Do I kill her because you're all fucking morons, or let her go?” Minho asks, crossing his arms.

You were feeling brave, and honestly you had nothing to lose. Minimal friends, no good family, so if speaking up got you killed then so be it.

"I mean.” You start, looking around the room. “I personally, I think you should let me go. I work in a shitty bar at a shitty wage. So really, I'm in no position to be telling anyone about anything." You tell him, hoping that he'll see you're anything but a threat to him.

"You're fucking delusional if you think the boss will just let you.." Felix begins before being interrupted by Minho.

"She can go.” He says, standing up. “But I have conditions.” He grins. He comes out of the light and you feel like you can't breathe. He's drop dead gorgeous. He's the type of man that you would do anything he asked, just because he asked. He squats down, his face inches from yours. “First thing, if you say anything to anyone, I will find out and I will kill you.” He smiles.

Fuck. Even more gorgeous.

“And the second thing?” you ask, trying to avoid eye contact. You didn't want to set him off by looking into his eyes.

“That's really my only condition.” He whispers, grabbing your chin to look at him. “But remember, I'll be watching you." He smirks.

He helps you up, nodding his head towards the door. ”Go. Before I decide to keep you here for myself.”

"Thank you." You whisper before quickly walking towards the double doors, as you hear some punches and yelling.

You run outside, you're in the middle of fucking nowhere. Do you go left? Right? Straight? How the fuck were you supposed to get home? you turn around, seeing another man standing there, one you haven't met yet.

“I'm Seungmin. I'll drive you home.” he says, motioning to a car parked on the driveway. You reluctantly get into the passenger seat of the car. Neither of you spoke the entire drive, you didn't even have to tell him your address because he already knew where to go. That was fucking creepy but you were just thankful that you were being let go from such a terrifying situation. Seungmin dropped you off, without a word and drove off as soon as you were out of the car. You went to your apartment, took off your shoes and collapsed in your bed. You were even more fucking exhausted.

**

Over the next few days, you heard nothing from Minho or any of his guys. You had called in sick the Monday night after the incident, but Tuesday you dragged yourself to work as usual. Your usual routine of getting home late, sleeping late and puttering around until your next shift.

You kinda wished you had seen Minho again, but also not. He was so fucking handsome but you also knew he was a very dangerous man, and that was terrified you.

As the days went on, you'd notice someone on the other side of the street walking sort of behind you until you reached your apartment, different things that were making you feel like you were being watched.

Thursday night rolled around and It was unusually busy for a Thursday. It didn't help that the other girl you were supposed to work with didn't show up and no one you called would come in to help, so you were alone.

And you were slammed.

You were doing your very best to be quick with taking orders, making the drinks, serving drinks, cleaning and clearing tables. It was a lot and you were only one person.

Almost everyone was understanding, except the one table of piss drunk men who were getting more annoyed by the minute. You had been ignoring them as they catcalled you and then yelled at you for not refilling their beers. So you were gonna make them wait.

"Hey! Where the fuck are our beers!?" One of the men hollers at you, laughing with his friends. ”We're fucking thirsty over here.”

You ignore him. You'd told him you would get to him when it was his turn before you started ignoring him, and currently, it wasn't his turn.

"I said we want our fucking beers." He yelled again, abruptly standing from his chair causing it to fall back.

You were going to rage. You put your empty tray on the bar, glaring at the man.

"And I told you, you'll fucking get them when it's your turn. I'm by myself here. I'm trying my best! Have some fucking patience." You snap before putting in the next order of drinks.

"Fuck it." The man spits. "I'll do it myself." He says, moving from his table to walking towards the back of the bar. His friends try to stop him but he's at the point of not listening to reason.

"No you won't." You say, moving to block the entrance behind the bar. "You can't go back there." You tell him.

"I can do whatever the fuck a want." He whispers, his face moving closer to yours. You try to stand your ground, but he's so much bigger than you are, he easily pushes you back until you're trapped against the wall. "And you can't do shit about it." He chuckles, leaning in closer to you. “You're a pretty little thing, aren't you?" He whispers. You can smell the alcohol and cigarettes on your breath.

You wished someone would come help, but his friends seem useless. They won't even try to control their friend. You need to get yourself out of this situation.

"Get off me." You say, trying to push him away but it was like his feet were cemented to the ground.

"Like I said, I can do whatever I want." He laughs.

“Please just get off me.” You say, you can feel the tears starting as he caresses your face.

"I think she told you to get off her." You hear from behind the man, you faintly recognize the voice.

He turns around, and you try to get away from him, but he holds you in place. You manage to sneak a peek, and you see Minho with Changbin and another man you didn't recognize.

"And who the fuck are you." The man laughs. He looks for his friends, they sit at the table watching.

Minho chuckles. "I’m a.. friend, if you will.” He says, his face stone cold. “She's mine, and I don't like when people touch what's mine." He says, cocking his head to the side.

"And what are you going to do about it?" The man asks, turning around to grab your arm.

Minho sighs, as he makes his way towards you and the man, pulling him off of you and throwing him to the ground. He places his foot on the man's neck, chuckling as he watches the man begin to panic.

“Chan, get his wallet.” Minho says. Chan digs in the man's jacket, grabbing the wallet and handing it to Minho.

"This is what I'm going to do about it..Brian." He says, looking at his license. "Have you ever heard of SKZ, Brian?"

The man gargles a small yes.

"That's mine too. Now, I don't like you, Brian. You don't listen. And I usually just kill what I don't like. Do you understand me Brian?" He asks.

The man barely nods.

"Good. Now you apologize to her, pay your tab with a hefty tip and fucking pray I never see you again, because if I do, I will fucking kill you." Minho finishes, picking the man up by his collar.

Minho and his two men sit down at a table and watch the men scramble to give you everything they had in their wallets and pockets, leaving you with a large tip and a smile on your face.

"Thank you." You say, standing at the table Minho and his men sat at. ”Really. I didn't know what I was going to do.”

"It's lucky I just happened to be in the area.” He says. "Although, I have to ask. How often does that happen?"

"I work like 6 days a week.. and people get drunk everyday.. and men get rowdy often.. so like 4 or 5 days a week." You say, shrugging your shoulders.

He laughs.

You wished you were joking.

"That's not going to do. I'll have Jeongin start doing security here." He says.

"We really can't pay for security, our boss is cheap." You murmur, waving him off.

"Don't worry about it." He half smiles.

"Look, I gotta get back to work, finish cleaning up for the night but.. is there a way I can repay you for tonight and I guess not murdering me last week?" You ask.

You've always been one to repay favors no matter who it was. It's just what you do. Although you weren't sure if you should repay him, you felt like you should.

"Actually.” He grins. “There is. I need you to be my date this weekend to a club opening, your co-worker, the other Y/N will be there." He says.

“Okay.. and what can I do for you there?” You ask.

"What you can do is bring her to me."

"I.. uhh.." you didn't want to be responsible for her getting killed.

"I need to talk to her. That's all." He assures you. You bite your lip as a swarm of thoughts flash through your head. You wanted to repay him, and this seemed easy enough.

"Okay.” You sigh. “I'll do it. What day? What club? And time? I'll meet you there." You say.

Minho smirks. "No, darling." He pauses, adjusting his jacket. "I'll send a car to pick you up and get you ready. See you Friday at 2pm." He says, giving you a small wink before walking out of the bar, leaving his two men behind.

"Are you guys not going?" You ask.

"Boss told us to stay and help out." Changbin says.

"You guys really don't have too.." You begin to say.

"Boss said we have too. We're at your disposal." Chan smiles.

How could you say no to that? If it hadn't been for Changbin and Chan, it would have taken you forever to clean up, kick everyone out and restock for your next shift. You were very grateful to Minho, which also had you thinking a bit.. Maybe he wasn't as bad as you thought. Yes, he was in the Mafia, a leader at that, but he was sweet, to you at least. And you couldn't lie that he was the exact type of fucked up you usually went for.

You weren't completely opposed to the idea of being with him, even if it was for one night. However, you didn't think the life he led was meant for you.

The next day you met Jeongin. He was thin and attractive, but had this aura about him that was terrifying. His first night there, no one thought much of him. So when someone grabbed your ass and wouldn't leave you alone, Jeongin was right there with a sinister smile while he absolutely mangled the man.

No one fucked around after that. Word had gotten around about the new security and almost no one wanted to test him. There were a few drunk frat guys who thought one of them should test it out, wondering if it was a fluke but ultimately they all pussied out, no wanting to risk any harm to their faces.

You thought it was nice having Jeongin there, although you got weird vibes from him on occasion. You'd catch him staring at you, with a blank but thoughtful look on his face. Sometimes he stood a little too close before apologizing and going back to the door. You shrugged it off, but kept a note of it in the back of your head.

When Friday rolled around, you waited outside your shitty apartment for Minho, although you should have known better that he wouldn't be coming himself, and instead sending someone to get you.

"He had a meeting." Chan tells you as you get into the expensive car before peeling away to the mansion that awaited you.

Four long and excruciating hours later, you were ready to be his date. Your hair had been left down, while your face was full of makeup. A smokey eye with winged liner, along with red lips painted on your face. You couldn't deny that you looked hot, even more so when you squeezed yourself into the tight black strapless dress, paired with a pair of black Louis Vuitton shoes with red bottoms.

You were nervous to walk down the flight of stairs, not only because of Minho, but also because you, stairs and heels weren't really the greatest thrupple. One of you was always embarrassed, and it was always you.

"Hold tightly." The stylist tells you, placing your hand on the railing before you go downstairs.

You took your time, trying to hold your head high while watching your step. You weren't of use to anyone if you fell and broke your ankle, or neck.

"You look stunning." Minho tells you, with a slight smile, offering you his arm. Without hesitation you take it, allowing him to lead you to the garage where he even opened your car door.

**

"Are you nervous?" He asks, as the two of you pull up to the club.

"A little." You admit.

"Find her, tell her you know someone in VIP and bring her up to me. Changbin and Hyunjin are working the VIP door so they already know you." Minho says.

It didn't sound bad. You could do that. "And when you're done, go to the bar and drink to your little heart's desires. Tell Jisung to put it under my tab and he will. I'll come down and meet you when I'm finished."

"Okay. I can do that. Easy enough." You nervously chuckle. "Easy peasy." You breathe.

"You go in. Tell the bouncer that Minho said to let you in." He tells you.

You nod your head and get out of the car. You're a little down the block from the club, couldn't risk having the other Y/N see you and Minho together, it might ruin the plan.

You walk for a few minutes, cutting the long line of at least 100 people and heading up straight to the bouncer.

"Minho said to let me in." You whisper in his ear. The man steps back, his eyes wide.

"Yes ma'am, please go in." He tells you, pulling back the rope immediately while everyone else gets mad, asking why you were so special. You really had to admit, that was an amazing feeling. The feeling of people doing what you ask just because of a name was such an adrenaline rush. You loved it.

Once inside, you headed straight to the bar before trying to find the other Y/N. As you walked in you noticed the music was loud, and the bass went hard but it wasn't overpowering. The air wasn't hot and sweaty like most clubs, so far you were impressed, but that's not why you were here. You needed to remember that you had a specific reason you were here for and you needed to stick to it, but first, You felt like you needed a little bit of liquid courage.

Walking up to the bar, you find a small open space. Giving it your best shot, you yell for 'Jisung' hoping someone would turn around, and they did. Another extremely handsome man. What the fuck was in the water here?

"How can I help you?" Jisung asks, ignoring the others trying to get his attention.

"I'd like a double vodka lemonade." You smile. "And I'm supposed to tell you to put it on Minho’s tab." You say.

He smiles as he nods his head and leaves to make your drink. You sit on a stool facing the dance floor, keeping your eyes open for Y/N. You wanted to get this done as soon as possible but you hadn't seen her yet.

An hour and 4 vodka lemonades later, you finally see her, dancing her little heart out on the dance floor, acting like she didn't just about get you killed a week ago. You grin as you slide off your chair, partially dancing while you walk towards her.

"Hey girl." You laugh, putting on a friendly face as you approach her.

"Hey! Oh my god, What are you doing here!?" She squeals, pulling you in for a hug.

"I'm here with some friends up in VIP! Come, let's get a drink." You offer, hoping she takes the bait.

"Oh my god! Yes please! Let's go!" She laughs, grabbing onto your hand.

Hook, line and sinker.

You hold her hand tightly as you walk up the stairs. You see Hyunjin standing there, looking surprised that you actually found her.

"VIP?" He asks.

You nod your head. He walks to the nearest door, pointing to it for you two. You drunkenly pull Y/N inside with you, where to her surprise there are no other people or drinks.

There's a desk, a large window and a few couches. The chair behind the desk turns, revealing a pleased looking Minho. "Ah, that's my girl. Great work. Thank you baby." He smiles.

You feel the blush on your cheeks spreading. "You can go now." He smiles, shooing you from the room.

"Now, Y/N.." you hear as the door closes.

"Please.." you hear her say.

Your stomach is in knots as you think about what could possibly be happening in there with her and Minho. Changbin seems to notice your hesitancy to leave. He slips an arm around your shoulders. "He doesn't hurt women. Don't worry." He smiles, easing your concerns. You headed back down to the main area, making your way back over to Jisung to get another drink. You sipped as you sat at the bar, watching the stairs for her.

You felt as though you could breathe when you saw her walking down the stairs, body fully intact and leaving the club. Now you can enjoy yourself, finally.

"Two more shots please, Jisung." You laugh at the cute bartender.

Without hesitation Jisung hands over your shots, which you take with ease before heading to the dance floor now, with nothing weighing on your mind. You felt a pair of hands slide along your hips with a body pressed up against yours. When you look back you're met with a face you do not recognize, but in that moment, you don't care.

As you continue dancing with the man, your eyes wander around the club, and that's when you notice him.

Minho.

His eyes followed you like a puppy as you danced with the man. You watched as Minho watched the man's hands travel down your backside, squeezing your ass. He watches the man nuzzle his face into your neck, inhaling your scent.

Your stomach twisted and turned as you tried to read Minho's eyes but his face gave away nothing. He remained just as stone cold as before.

When the song ended, you tore your eyes away from Minho to thank the man for the dance, telling him you needed to go now but before you could finish Minho stood beside you, smirking at the man.

"Hi." He says to you and the man.

"Can I help you dude?" The man asks Minho, grabbing onto your hand.

"No, you can't help me, but I think I can help you." Minho chuckles. "I don't like when people think they can touch what's mine." He snaps, looking at the man's hand holding yours. "So I can help you let go, and help you get the fuck out of my club." He finishes.

Minho snaps his fingers and out comes two other men you hadn't seen before. They asked no questions before grabbing the man you had been dancing with and dragging him away without a care. The man had been pleading to be let go but they did not care.

"Dance with me?" Minho asks.

You nod your head.

He turns you around, your back flush against him as he wraps his arms around your waist, swaying you both to the beat of the music.

"What do I have to do to get you into my bed tonight?" He whispers in your ear.

A small smirk spreads across your face. "Keep going. You're on the right track."

After a few dances with Minho, Felix approaches him, whispering something in his ear that made his brows furrow, and his face instantly twisted in annoyance.

"I have something to deal with. I'll be back." He whispers in your ear, murmuring an apology before walking away with Felix, leaving you on the dance floor, alone.

Instead of standing there, you made your way back to the bar, ordering a couple more shots from Jisung, taking them instantly. It didn't take long for those to kick in and kick out your ability to make good choices. You were already drunk prior to the shots, but these just took it to a whole nother level.

You made a poor decision to leave the bar, stumbling outside, dragging your feet down the street, unsure of where you were, or even where you were planning on going.

"Hey there pretty lady." A man yells from behind you. You turn around, seeing him walking away from his group of friends and coming towards you. "Need some help?" He asks, turning around to wink to his friends.

"I'm fine." You slur, trying to move past him and continue walking on your route.

His hands grip your arms, keeping you in front of him as your head dangles down, your hair in front of your face.

"I think I'll take you home. Take care of you." He says, thrusting his hips towards you as his friends all laugh. "Give you something good for that hangover.” He laughs.

"I think you won't." You hear from behind you, a voice you recognize which makes you perk up immediately.

"And who are you?" The man asks.

"He's a man who wants to be my man… I think." You mumble, snickering to yourself.

Minho chuckles. "Baby, why did you leave?"

You try to spin around, but the man's hands are still latched to your arms, holding you in place.

"Let me go." You say, trying to rip your arm out of his grasp, but he doesn't budge. "I said let me go."

"I don't know. I don't trust this man." The stranger murmurs. "You're coming with me."

"Probably shouldn't trust him. He's terrifying but he will kill you if you don't let go of me. He doesn't like when people touch what's his." You mumble, looking up at the man with a semi serious face.

"She's not wrong." Minho snaps.

"I thought you weren't her man." He scoffs.

"I will be, but regardless if I am or not, I'll still protect her from pieces of shit, such as yourself. So let her go before I make you regret touching her and making inappropriate comments in the first place." Minho snaps.

His patience was wearing thin, and even drunk you could tell.

"I don't think I'll regret shit." The man laughs, with his friends. You weren't sure who this man thought he was, you had no idea who he was or why he was fighting Minho for you, but you currently wished Minho would just take you away from the creep. The situation was not sobering you up.

"Now I'm fucking tired of you." Minho snaps. He grabs your upper arm, yanking you away from the man who stands there confused on what happened. He pulls you behind him before his fist connects with the man's face, dropping him in an instant. "Have any of you heard of SKZ?" He asks the man's friends.

They all immediately begin nodding their heads yes, stuttering they didn't know.

"She's with them, don't fuck with her." Minho warns the group, looking down at their unconscious friend. He gives him one swift kick in the stomach to the man before picking you up, throwing you over his shoulder, and heading back towards the club.

"You can take me home now." You giggle. You can't see it but a small smirk spreads across Minho's face.

"And what would you like to do there?" He asks, his voice low as he carries you down the street.

"You." You giggle.

Just as Minho walks up to the front door, he sets you down, grabbing your hand before you hear the first gunshot.

Instinctively, Minho pulls you to the ground, covering you with his body as bullets fly through the air for what seems like forever. You were too panicked to notice the feeling of warm liquid trickle onto your body as the weight of Minho's body squishes you.

After what felt like forever,, the bullets stop, Minho stands up, pulling you up after. "Oh my god. You were shot." You gasp, looking at his shoulder.

"Shit. I'm fine." He hisses. "We need to get you somewhere safe. Now." He says.

"Minho!" You are here from behind you. Turning around you see Jeongin standing in front of an open car door, ushering Minho inside. He grabs your hand, pulling you to the car, pushing you inside before sliding in beside you.

Jeongin gets in the driver's seat, making a call as he puts the car in drive, taking off.

"Yeah I've got him. Bullet to the shoulder." Jeongin says.

"Tell everyone to meet in my office asap." Minho grunts, sliding his injured arm from his suit jacket.

"Pressure.. you need to put pressure." You stutter, looking for anything to use. You pick up his suit jacket, murmuring a small apology before pressing it to his wound, causing him to hiss. "Can we go to a hospital please." You ask Jeongin whose eyes really haven't left you, you notice he has been watching you off and on through the mirror.

"Chan has medical training. It's fine." Minho tells you. You're not so convinced that's a good idea but you know you can't do anything to change his mind.

You pull up to the house, Jeongin out first to help Minho out before you follow behind them both. "Chan, get your med bag." Jeongin yells, bringing Minho to his office.

"Upstairs. First door on the right is my room. Take a shower, get cleaned up, help yourself to whatever. I'll be up soon." Minho tells you, walking into his office that's littered with his men.

"Find who did this." He spits as the door closes, leaving you alone.

You wander around Minho's room, looking at the paintings, and awkwardly grabbing a shirt from his drawer, before entering his grand bathroom.

You turn on the shower, shimming out of the tight dress you were wearing that was soaked in blood. You step inside, the hot water feels great on your cold skin. You watched as the blood water went down the drain, making it seem as though it never really happened. But the moment replayed through your head like a movie as you scrubbed yourself clean.

You washed your hair using Minho's shampoo, enjoying smelling like him. After soaking for a bit you got out, drying yourself off before slipping into his shirt and leaving the bathroom.

You were surprised to see Minho sitting on his bed, his shoulder banaged, his toned, muscular stomach in full view.

"Are you okay?" You ask, walking over to his bed, sitting on the edge.

"Are you okay?" He asks you instead of answering your question.

"I'm fine." You smile.

"Mhm. You look good in my shirt." He smiles, licking his lips. "I think I remember you saying something about you wanting to do me?"

"That was before you got shot." You pout.

"I'm all good, baby girl. You can ride me no problem." He whispers.

You look down at his crotch, his cock growing harder by the second. You bite your lip, contemplating if you should really do this, considering he had just been shot.

You stand up, facing him with a smile on your face.

"Shirt on or off?" You ask him, cocking your head to the side, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"On. I want to see you ride me while wearing it. " he whispers.

You crawl back on the bed, pulling down his sweatpants, while he helps you the best he can, bucking his hips. Minho's cock springs free, pre cum leaking from his red tip, down his large, thick shaft.

On your hands and knees, you begin to kitten lick his tip, before taking what you can in your mouth. Minho moans loudly as you hollow out your cheeks, forcing his cock down your throat, making you gag.

"Shit." He moans, throwing his head back, as he bucks his hips.

You pull him from your mouth, taking a breath before you softing continue sucking his cock. He bucks his hips again, forcefully shoving himself down your throat, causing tears to well in your eyes.

"Sit on my cock." He demands. You let go of his cock with a pop, crawling up to straddle him. You slightly lift up the shirt you were wearing, holding onto his cock as you line your pussy up. Sitting down, you slowly sink down onto him, as he stretches you out while filling you up completely.

"Fuck. So tight." He groans.

With one hand on your hip he begins helping you rock back and forth, grinding yourself on him. A few minutes later, you discard his shirt, throwing it somewhere behind you as you begin to bounce on him, slowly lifting yourself up before pounding down onto him. Minho bucks his hips again and again as you go back down.

You grind your pussy on him, your clit perfectly rubbing against him. Minho reaches up, rolling one of your nipples between his fingers as you cup your other breast, the sound of fucking and moans fill the room.

"I'm.. i'm going to.. fucking cum." You cry out, your orgasm finally reaching its peak as it explodes through your body, sending shivers down your spine.

You tried to slow down your movement as you rode through your high but Minho doesn't let you. He snaps his hips, fucking you from below as he chases his own high, seconds later spilling himself into you, coating your walls with his cum.

The two of you stay still for a minute, catching your breath until you notice Minho's wound bleeding through the bandages.

"Let me get something." You say, climbing off of him, putting his shirt back on before running to the bathroom for a cloth.

Just as you enter the bathroom, Minho's bedroom door swings open.

"Sorry to bother you…but we found out who ordered the attack." Hyunjin says.

"Who." Minho asks.

"It was Mingi and his men, from Ateez." Hyunjin explains.

Mingi? As in Song Mingi? Why was your ex boyfriend ordering attacks?

"Mingi?" You laugh. "Song Mingi? No, there's no way. Why would he? No, you've got the wrong guy." You say, waving Hyunjin off.

"Do you know him?" Minho asks.

"We dated for 2 years." You admit. "I know him pretty well and I think I would know if he was into this kinda stuff." You say, twirling your finger around, pointing at them.

"She's a fucking spy." Hyunjin yells, charging for you. His forearm presses against your neck as he shoves you into the wall, pinning you there. You panic, looking at Minho who now just looks confused.

"Let her go." Minho says calmly.

Hyunjin doesn't move.

"I fucking said let her go." He yells, prompting Hyunjin to back away from you. "Get the fuck out. I'll handle this." He finishes.

You watch as Hyunjin leaves his room leaving you alone with Minho.

Your eyes are wide as you stand against the wall, struggling to catch your breath. Minho slowly strolls towards you, his wound seeping blood through the bandages.

He puts one hand out, pressing it against the wall as he leans in closely, whispering in your ear. "You better tell me right now if you're fucking working for them, and if you are, you better beg for your fucking life."

"I-I'm not." You stutter. "I didn't know anything about it." You cry.

Minho pushes himself back, turning to the door and walking away. "If I find out differently, you're dead." He finishes, leaving the room. You slide down the wall, breathing heavily as you try to wrap your head around what the fuck just happened.

Later that day, Minho stands in his office, his head hanging down with his hand in his pocket as his men wait for him to say something. His shoulder throbbed and this entire situation was pissing him the fuck off.

"Hyunjin." He begins. "If you put your hands on her again, I'll kill you myself. Clear?" He asks.

"She's a fucking spy!" Hyunjin retorts, frustrated that no one believes him.

"How dare you accuse her of that." Jeongin pipes up. "She said she didn't know about him, so that means she didn't fucking know. Drop it." He grits, his pissed off facial expression barely moving.

"Seungmin, Felix, find out as much as you can about the relationship between the two of them." Minho orders.

The two head out as Minho dismisses the rest, except one. "Hyunjin." He starts. "If it comes back clean, you drop it. If it comes back that you were right, you know what to do." He says before watching him leave his office.

Minho walks away, searching for one man in particular. He walks into the kitchen, seeing Jeongin on his phone, facing away from the door. "Get it done." He spits, hanging up his phone and turning around.

"Minho." Jeongin gasps.

"Get her to call into work for a while." Minho says. He can't help but notice a small glimmer in Jeongin's eyes whenever he mentions you.

It makes him wonder.

"You're keeping her?" Jeongin asks, walking past Minho.

"For now." Minho says as Jeongin leaves the kitchen.

Jeongin opens the door to Minho's room, seeing you sitting on the bed with your legs crossed and your chin resting in the palm of your hand.

"Get up." He yells, startling you. You jump up, still only wearing Minho's shirt. Jeongin could feel the anger boiling up in him, he tried to let it go but it was hard. "Let's go." He says, turning to walk down a hallway. You follow behind him, trying to keep up as he takes another turn down another hallway and then up a flight of stairs. He leads you inside a dark, dusty room.

"Here." He says, tossing you your phone. "Call in sick to work."

"For how long?" You ask, your voice a whisper.

"Few weeks." He answers, his eyes practically burning holes into you.

You turn away from him, dialing the number to the bar you work at, as you put the phone to your ear you hear the ringing. You're staring at the wall that has a pair of curtains hanging down to give the appearance of a window without actually having a window. Your stomach drops as you continue to look around and see faint splatters of blood all around.

"Hello?" A voice on the other end answers.

"Hi." You whisper. "It's Y/N…I um, I won't be into work for a few weeks."

"Why?"

"I um, had a death in the family.. my… mom." You say.

"Ah okay, sorry about that. See you." He says, ending the call.

You turn around and see leaning against the wall. "All done." You say walking towards the door. You walk through the doorway, Jeongin closely behind you. Right before you hit the staircase you feel a hand on your shoulder, pulling you back before slamming you against the wall. He presses his body against yours, his hand trailing up and down your side before moving up and around your neck. He leans his head in closer to you, his hot breath hitting your ear.

"I can't wait for him to toss you to the side, maybe then you'll give me a turn to play." He whispers. "Believe me when I say, he listens to me more than anyone. Don't fucking lie to us, don't try and play us because we will find out." He pauses, twirling your hair in his finger. "And I will fucking kill you, and I promise, I'll do it with a fucking smile on my face." He finishes, backing away from you before heading down the stairs, leaving you wondering how even after Mingi leaving you 8 months ago, he was still fucking up your life.

**

Later that evening you were sitting in a chair in Minho's office, as he finished up a call. "Yeah, keep digging. Thanks Felix." He says, letting out a sigh as he hangs up the phone. He raises his head, looking at you sitting there quietly.

"How was your relationship with Mingi if you had no idea about his life?" He asks.

"It was quiet. He told me he worked for some big shot lawyer, so I never questioned the late nights or when he didn't answer his phone. He said he was in court a lot, so it made sense." You shrugged.

"He never showed up covered in blood? Suspicious phone calls? You're telling me he didn't show any signs of not doing what he said."

"He got a lot of calls. Sometimes he would go into a different room, I just assumed he was cheating on me." You admit.

Minho laughs. Before he can ask anymore questions, his phone rings. He answers it, putting it on speaker.

"What?" He asks.

"Minho.. you're not going to like this." Seungmin says from the other side.

"What'd you find?" He asks, glaring at you.

"Her apartment.. It's riddled with cameras and microphones. Someone's been hard-core watching her." Felix pipes up.

You sit up further in your chair, your face confused.

"What?" You whisper, feeling so violated.

"Thanks." Minho says, hanging up the phone.

Seconds later your phone rings on Minho's desk. He looks down and none other than Mingi's name pops up on the caller ID.

"You talk." Minho says to you, as he presses the answer button.

"Hello?" You ask.

"Hi baby, I miss you." Mingi breathes into the phone.

"You ended things with me, Mingi." You spit. "What do you want?" You ask.

"I want to know why the fuck you're sitting in Lee Minho's house right now."

"How.." you pause.

"How do I know? Bitch I know everything." Mingi snaps.

"The fuck you want, Song?" Minho snaps.

"Ah, Minho, the man of the hour." Mingi chuckles. "How's that arm of yours?" He asks. "I assumed you'd leave Y/N alone after that warning, maybe you're not that smart then.. " he laughs. "Let her go."

"Let her go? Nah, knowing how much you want her, makes me want her even more. You know, maybe i'll just fuck her right here on my desk. Do you want to listen to how hard I rail her?" Minho asks.

That shouldn't turn you on, but fuck it really does.

"I'm warning you.." Mingi snaps.

"Or maybe I'll let my men have their way with her. They're all pretty sexually deprived." Minho says before hanging up on Mingi. Minho lets out a frustrated groan, running his hand through his hair. He was trying to not let Mingi anger him, but he did. He glances over at you, and you're already staring at him.

"You didn't mean that, right?" You whisper. "About your men.."

"You can fuck whoever you want to fuck, I don't give a fuck." Minho snaps.

“What?” You ask. That wasn't quite what you were expecting. “Seriously?”

“Fuck all of then at once. I don't fucking care.” He spits.

"Fine." You scoff, standing up and walking out of his office.

You storm down the hallway, looking for anyone to use for the night.

"You." You call out. "Come with me.." You pause, forgetting his name at the moment.

"Um.. Chan." He answers as you drag him up the stairs.

"Where are we going?" Chan asks, looking behind him then back at you dragging him up the stairs. He begins to panic when you don't answer him and continues to drag him upstairs, down the hall before stopping outside Minho’s room.

“I… I can't.” he whispers, his eyes wide as he stands outside his leader's bedroom door.

“Im not going to actually fuck you, Chan.” you chuckle. “No no no, I'm only going to let Minho think I'm fucking you. He claims he doesn't care but he does, or he will.”

“I don't think that's how that's going to play out.” Chan chuckles. You roll your eyes, opening the door to Minho’s room before pulling Chan inside by the neck of his shirt and slamming the door behind you.

You stay in there for an ample amount of time, so that when the two of you come out, it's more believable that he had just fucked you.

"Alright." You say, glancing over at Chan. "Time to go, but first some adjustments."

You walk over to the terrified looking man, and run your hands through his hair, messing it up. After you're done with his hair, you ruffle up his shirt, making him look like he just fucked you good and hard. On your way to the door, you messed yourself up, making yourself look good and fucked before the two of you leave the room; heading downstairs.

"Boss wants to see you." Changbin says to you, passing you on the stairs. You smile to yourself, hoping that it got to him. You were determined to show he cared about you.

You walk just close enough to Minho's office before you give Chan a loud, fake kiss and push him away, making sure to thank him loudly for an excellent time.

"Let's do it again." You yell, walking into Minho's office. "You wanted to see me?" You say, sliding into one of the chairs that sat in front of his desk.

"Did you have a good time?" He asks, his voice low.

"It was great. Why? Jealous?" You ask, a smirk on your face.

Minho chuckles. "My men.." he pauses, walking towards you. He stands over you, leaning down allowing his hands to rest on the arm rests as his face moves in closer to you. "My men value their lives more than that. They wouldn't risk themselves and my trust for them for some pussy." He spits, his voice low. "You're not worth it to them. They won't fuck you. You're mine."

You gulp as he leans in even closer to you, his lips brushing against your ear. "And if you fuck Jeongin, I'll kill you both." He grunts. "Also, if you were going to try to make me jealous, Chan was not the way to go."

"So what? Does that mean you're the only one who gets to fuck me?" You ask, scoffing.

"That's exactly what that means." He says, clenching his teeth together. Minho grabs the collar of your shirt, yanking you from the chair and slamming you down on the desk, your face pushed into the stack of papers he had laying around.

Minho pulls your pants down, licking his fingers before slowly working them inside you. "Already fucking wet." He grunts, pulling his fingers out, undoing his pants. He whips out his cock, pumping it a few times before thrusting himself inside of you. He grunts loudly as his hands grip your hips, violently thrusting into you.

"You're not the one in control." He spits. "I am." He finishes, fucking you fast and hard. He thrusts a few times before pulling you out to turn you around. Minho sets you on his desk, ignoring his shoulder pain as he has been all day, pulling your pants off you, tossing them behind him.

You lay back, sticking your legs in the air. He grabs your legs, dragging you to the edge of his desk before sticking his cock back inside you. He can feel you tighten yourself around his cock, making him moan loudly.

“So fucking tight.” He grunts, leaning forward to bury his face in your neck as you wrap your legs around his waist. His hand snakes in between the two of you, and between your lips, rubbing your clit as he continues to grunt while he fucks you. He rubs quickly, making you twitch as you can feel your orgasm building.

"Cum for me." He grunts. You had been waiting for this, your orgasm had been building rapidly as he rubbed himself against you.

"Just like that." You cry out, arching your back as your orgasm pulses through your body, making you shake. "Fuck." You cry out, clenching yourself around him again.

"Dirty slut." He spits as he cums, spilling himself inside of you.

Minho pulls himself out of you, helping you sit up on his desk. Your eyes look to the door and meet the eyes of Jeongin, startling you to jump off the desk and hide behind a confused Minho.

"What?" He asks, looking at you instead of the door. You point towards the door, trying to cover your naked bottom half.

"What the fuck. How long have you been there?" Minho asks.

"Since you started arguing." Jeongin says, his voice unamused.

"What the fuck." You whisper.

"Y/N, get dressed and go." Minho says, ushering you out. You hide under his desk, getting your pants back on before trying to leave the room, moving past a pissed off looking Jeongin.

"You know." Jeongin says, grabbing your arm as you try to move past him. "I could fuck you better, and treat you better." He whispers before letting you go and looking back at Minho.

You leave the room, making your way to the living room where you sit completely uncomfortable as to what just happened.

"I thought we fucking talked about this?" Minho spits, motioning to Jeongin to come closer. "You're to leave her alone."

"I can't help it brother. She's just so.. tempting." Jeongin smirks, licking his lips.

Minho balls his fists up, taking a swing and connecting with Jeongin's face, causing him to stumble back. Jeongin lightly chuckles as he touches his lip, feeling a small drop of blood on his finger.

"Wow brother. Resorting to violence again?" Jeongin laughs.

"I swore to mom and dad that I would watch out for you after they passed. But I will not do this again, I can't have another Lisa situation." Minho yells.

"Y/N is much more important than Lisa ever was."

"Stay away from her. She is mine." Minho threatens.

"I can treat her better." Jeongin spits.

Minho throws another punch, knocking Jeongin back again. He walks forward, hitting him again and knocking him to the ground. Minho climbs on top of him, throwing punches wherever he could get them to land. Jeongin brings his hands up, trying to block the punches as Minho wails on him, Jeongin laughing as he's being hit.

Out of breath, Minho stands up, giving Jeongin a swift kick in the ribs before stepping over him and walking out of his office, headed to find you.

"Let's go." Minho says, motioning to you to stand up.

"Where are we going?" You ask as Minho grabs your arm to pull you away.

"Jeongin isn't stable right now. You need to stay somewhere else." He says before a giant boom shakes the entire house.

Seconds later, Hyunjin runs into the house coughing. "The SUV was blown up." He announces. "It's Ateez. Mingi's here, and he wants her." Hyunjin finishes pointing at you.

"Fuck. Felix, take Y/N and hide her. Now." Minho demands. "Jisung, give me your gun."

Jisung hands over his weapon to Minho, who tucks it in the waist of his pants before hiding it with his shirt. "Chan, Changbin and Hyunjin, come with me." He finishes.

Felix grabs you by the shoulders, guiding you to a room down the hall before closing the door. You stand there, leaning your head against the door to try and hear what's going on.

**

Minho and his men begin to walk towards the front door, when Mingi appears from around the corner standing with San and Hongjoong.

"Where is she?" Mingi asks, his eyes darting around the room to find you. "I thought I made it pretty clear that you should have let her go. You know better than anyone she's not safe here." Mingi spits, motioning to a beat up Jeongin.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" Jeongin snaps, moving towards Mingi before being stopped by Hyunjin

"It means, I know what happened to Lisa remember, and I'm sure as fuck not going to let that happen to Y/N." Mingi yells.

**

Listening through the door you can hear Mingi yelling, saying your name a few times. "If they're talking about me, I should be there." You snap at Felix. He shrugs his shoulders, paying attention to whatever he was looking at on his phone.

Deciding to take it into your own hands, you pull open the door and run down the hallway and into the living room where all the men stand.

"Hey you." Mingi smiles. "Look.." he begins before you cut him off.

"Who's Lisa?" You ask around the room.

No one answers you. "Who the fuck is Lisa?" You ask again.

Mingi looks at Minho and Jeongin. "Are either of you going to tell her? Or should I?" Mingi asks.

Neither of them answer. Jeongin stands there with his arms crossed, his face straight as he stares at you. "Alright then. Lisa is Minho's ex. They dated for a while before she disappeared." Mingi begins.

"Okay.. I don't understand." You say, you're confused on why this is even an issue.

"Jeongin here took a liking to her while they were together. He stalked her, watched her and them together. One day she disappeared, and I can almost guarantee Jeongin had something to do about it. Either he killed her or he has her locked up."

You can hear Jeongin snicker from behind you. You turn to look at him and he gives you a slight smile before winking at you, making your stomach drop.

"You stay here, and you'll end up gone too, which is why you should come with me. Minho knows his brother is unstable but yet doesn't do a fucking thing about it. I can keep you safe." Mingi finishes.

"You say you can keep me safe? I don't trust you. You lied to me for the entire 2 years of our relationship about what you did. I can't.. this is too much." You sigh. "I need to go." You walk away from the group of men, heading out the front door. You walk around the property, heading out into the distance a bit to clear your head. What the fuck were you supposed to do. It took you a few minutes but you decided on your plan.

You went back inside to announce to everyone what you were going to do.

"I'm going home." You say. "I'm going back to work and I'm not dealing with this shit anymore. I just want to go back to my life."

Minho nods his head. "I'll have people keeping an eye on you."

You were surprised, you honestly didn't think he would just let you go.

"I'll take you home." He says. He places his hand on your lower back to guide you out before looking back at Mingi. "Get the fuck out of my house." He spits, walking to his car with you.

**

A few days later you were getting back into your routine with work and being home. You always had one or two men at the bar with you, and outside your apartment building at all hours of the day and night. Minho was watching you closely, along with his men.

He had told you not to worry about Jeongin but you couldn't help it. He seemed to be uncontrollable and capable of anything.

"See you tomorrow, Chan." You laugh, heading out of the bar.

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?" He asks, unsure about leaving you by yourself.

"I'm fine." You smile. "I'm like 5 blocks away and I have pepper spray too." You finish. Chan nods his head, getting into his car to drive away as you begin your short walk home.

About halfway there you hear some footsteps behind you. You try not to let yourself panic and just pick up your pace but the person behind you also picks up their pace. Your chest is heaving as you break into a small run, the person behind you picking up their pace again to keep up with you. The person begins to run faster, but now passes you, making you stop to try and ease your breathing. You probably should have let Chan take you home, your anxiety was too high for this.

You continue walking when a man runs out in front of you, putting one hand on your shoulder before shoving a knife into your stomach. "This is a warning for Minho. SKZ better stay out the fuck out of our trafficking district." He spits, pulling the knife out and taking off.

Your hands cover your wound, the blood pouring through your fingers. You fall to your knees, laying on the concrete bleeding out.

You're in and out of consciousness, passing out on the concrete before waking up in someone's arms, being carried somewhere.

"Hospital." You whisper.

"I got you." The man says before you pass out again.

**

You groan as you wake up, your stomach throbbing but stitched up and bandaged up to heal. You open your eyes but you can't focus, you try to stretch but you have little to no room. Looking around as your eyes try to adjust, you see metal bars surrounding you. You look around more and see a cage you're stuck in suspended from the ceiling. Looking beside you, there's nothing but on the other side there hangs another cage with a dirty looking girl sitting in there.

“What the fuck! Where am I!?” You scream, trying to shake the bars of the cage but you're in so much pain.

“It's no use.” the woman coughs. “No one can hear you.”

“Where are we?” You ask.

“I have no idea.” She sighs.

"What's your name?" You whisper.

"Lisa." She whispers back. Your eyes widen at the name.

"Are you… Minho's ex girlfriend?" You ask.

She cries as she nods her head. "I'm so sorry he got you." She whispers when the metal door swings open from across the room.

You watch as Jeongin walks in with a giant smile on his face.

"My set is complete. My two beautiful girls." He smiles. "Boy, do I have plans for the two of you...” he pauses, his phone now ringing in his pocket.

Jeongin looks at you and Lisa, your hands wrapped around your cage as his phone continues to ring, Minho’s caller ID popping up on the screen. He watches you desperately plead for him to let you go. The wound in your stomach bleeding through the dirty bandages as Lisa coughs so hard she begins spitting up blood.

"Don't say another word. Or I will kill you." He spits, pointing at each of you. "What, Minho? I'm in the middle of something." He says, his eyes darting from you to Lisa, a subtle smile spreading across his face, you don't even want to imagine the thoughts going through his head. "Oh you got a lead on Y/N?" He snickers. "Yeah of course I'll come and scope it out. Sounds fun." He says, hanging up the phone.

"I gotta go, ladies." He says, putting his phone in his pocket and placing a ballcap on his head. "Don't go anywhere." He chuckles, walking away from your pleas and begging.

**

"How long have you been here?" You ask Lisa whose heaving, her breathing sounding ragged.

"I don't even know." She sighs, trying to find a comfortable position in such a small cage. "Over a year I think."

"How.. How the hell did this happen? Where was Minho? Why didn't he protect you?" You ask in disbelief that he wouldn't have noticed any kind of signs regarding Jeongin.

"It's the same way he didn't protect you from it. He doesn't know all of Jeongin's moves, hell, even Jeongin doesn't know his next move until he does it. He's so unpredictable that Minho never sees it coming. He wants to believe in the best of his brother and can't see all the evil. He doesn't want to believe that Jeongin would do something like this." Lisa says.

"I think he's starting too. He hit Jeongin a few times, and tried to take me away but I said no and I wanted to go home and resume my life. Then I got stabbed and brought here. I'm sure Jeongin was the one who stabbed me too. I think Minho will know that it's Jeongin. He has too." You breathe.

He'll know, right?

**

"You're sure?" Minho asks Seungmin. Minutes earlier Seungmin stormed into Minho's office saying that someone thought they recognized you, and had seen you a week ago, saw what happened to you but was too afraid to speak up.

"Tell him we'll protect him, nothing will happen to him if he tells us what he knows." Minho tells Seungmin.

Seungmin leaves the room quickly, running to give the information, time was of the essence. Minho didn't want you missing any longer.

"What's going on?" Jeongin asks, walking into his brother's office.

"Someone saw what happened to Y/N." Minho says. "Finally some answers."

He doesn't notice Jeongin immediately tense up, but he tries to not let it show. "Oh?" He questions. "Who?"

"Someone Seungmin found, who saw her walking after the bar closed. I can't wait to get my hands on the motherfucker who did this. I can't do this again." He sighs, grabbing his gun and securing it in the waist of his pants before he walks towards the door. Jeongin stands there, lost in his thoughts before Minho brings him out of it.

"Are you coming?" He asks.

Jeongin shakes his head. "I gotta do something." He mumbles, pushing past Minho and storming out the door.

Seungmin comes around the corner with his arms crossed. "I told you. He knows something." Seungmin states. Minho had a feeling that his brother was somehow involved but he didn't want to believe it. He swore to his parents he would protect Jeongin, but if it turns out to be him, Minho will do what he has to do.

**

"We need to get out of here." You scream, yanking on the metal bars that barely budge.

"It won't work." Lisa calls over. "I've been trying to get out by myself for a long time. He would let me out.. under circumstances but I refuse his offers. I can't." She says.

"What are his offers?" You ask. Maybe somehow they can be played to your advantages.

"He'll let me out if I agree to be his. But I can't do that to Minho.." She trails off.

"You need to." You exclaim. "Tell him both of us want him. We can take him down.." you begin to whisper as you hear a door creak open. You looked over at Lisa who had a small smile on her lips. You hoped it was Minho whose footsteps you heard but as they got closer, it revealed a frazzled looking Jeongin.

"We gotta move." He mumbles. "He's close to finding you, Y/N." He says, pointing at you. "Maybe I should just get rid of Lisa now." He wonders, a smile creeping across his face, glancing over at her. "I want to hear how her voice breaks as she begs for her life, pleading for me to spare her, saying anything to try to make me second guess my decision, feel something. Even if it won't work.” He grunts. "She'll choose Minho.. fuck, you'll still chooses Minho!" He yells, pointing at you.

"N-no.. I choose you. Jeongin, I want you." You say, scrambling to your knees in the cage, despite your pain, your hands on the bars. "I want you to be mine, Jeongin.”

‘I-I do too..You've done so much for me over the year I've been here. I see how truly sweet and caring you are. Please accept me. You know it's me who you really want." Lisa says, forcing a smile.

Your eyes are wide as you're watching this, you don't want her to trade her life for yours, but what could you do?

"Is that so?" Jeongin asks, walking to her cage. He pulls out a key, unlocking the locks and helping her out before wrapping his arms around her. She struggles to stand, but wraps her arms around him anyway, leaning on him, he holds her closely. It doesn't feel right to him. She's not who he really wants.

"I love you.." She mumbles. "So just let Y/N go.. okay? It's you and me now. You don't need her."

"It's not. She's the one.” Jeongin says, smiling at you. “Your time is up.” He laughs, dragging Lisa from the building. You needed to do something. He was going to kill her.

“Ow… shit. Jeongin.” You cry out. “Please… my wound…” you trail off, falling to the floor of your cage. Jeongin lets go of Lisa’s arm, running to you. He made it to your cage too, jingling his keys to find the right one to unlock it.

“Run!” You scream, watching her bolt out of the open door. Jeongin glares at you, the door of your cage wide open.

“Why did you do that?” He snaps, reaching in for you. You back away as far as you can.

"No no no, please." You cry, trying to squish yourself in the back of the cage so he can't reach you. You try to kick him, and fight him off but you're still weak. Your wound continues to bleed.

"Get out here." He grunts, latching onto your leg and dragging you out and into the floor. He grabs a clump of your hair, pulling you through the door, letting go of your hair, and grabbing your wrist to drag you outside while Lisa continues to run through the field. Jeongin drops you in tall grass, the sun shining down on you, the fresh air surrounding you. He grins as he pulls his gun out, his finger on the trigger.

"Shit." Jeongin spits, pointing the gun at you. Even if he was mad at you, he couldn't kill you.

It's you. He loved you and he was going to have to do whatever he could to make you love him back. He picks you up, dragging you to his car and throwing you in the backseat, before climbing into the driver's seat and spinning out of there. He needs to find somewhere else to take you. He drives the opposite way Lisa ran, trying to figure out the best place to keep you hidden and away from his brother.

**

"What do you want?" Minho spits as someone knocks on his office door. He was stressed, he didn't know what to do about you. Where were you?

"Hi." A familiar voice whispers. "Remember me?" Lisa asks as she walks into his office.

Minho's jaw drops as he stares at her, she's dirty, wounded and her clothes are torn but it's her. She's here.

"I can't believe it.." Minho says. He briskly walks towards her, pulling her in for a hug. "What happened to you?" He asks.

"Jeongin took me." She cries.

"I knew it." He spits. "What about Y/N? Does he have her too?" He asks.

"I've never met any Y/N's before." Lisa whispers, nuzzling her head back into Minho's warm embrace.

"Jeongin didn't take Y/N?" Minho asks, feeling defeated, but also a little relieved that his brother wasn't involved in your kidnapping.

"But baby, he took me." Lisa pouts, snuggling in closer to him. Minho didn't know how to react to this. She had been gone for so long, and he had moved on, he was falling in love with Y/N, but how did he break it to her when she had just been through something so traumatic.

"Lisa, go upstairs to the guest room, get cleaned up, take a shower and rest. I'll send Hyunjin up with some clothes and a towel for you. I've got some work to do." He says, clearing his throat and awkwardly moving out of her embrace. Lisa looks offended, but he didn't care at the moment. He needed to find you.

"Hyunjin." He calls out

Hyunjin walks into his office, giving Lisa a small nod before focusing his attention on Minho. "Get Lisa some fresh clothes and necessities, but before that, set up a meeting with the informant. I want that information now." He spits.

“Yes sir." Hyunjin says, quickly walking out of the office. Lisa stays behind, watching Minho work, and it made her angry that he didn't care about her right now. The love of his life was standing in front of him after being kidnapped for over a year, and he didn't care.

"Baby." Lisa whines. Minho looks up from his work. "Will you come shower with me?" She asks sweetly.

"Lisa, I'm busy. Go." He spits.

She scoffs. "Can I atleast use your phone?"

He sighs, opening his drawer and digging in it to find an extra phone, there's no way he was going to give her his phone. "Here." He says, sliding a phone and a charger towards her. With a huff she grabs them and storms out of his office, heading up the stairs to Minho's room. She knew he said the guest room, but his room was far more comfortable.

Lisa plugs in the phone to charge and hops in the shower, rinsing off the dirt, grime and smell from her. When she's done, she grabs a pair of shorts and a shirt from Minho's closet, before grabbing the phone and dialing a number.

"Hello?" A voice answers.

"It's done." Lisa says. "I told him I didn't know any Y/N, and that you had only held me captive." She says.

"You fucking idiot, you weren't supposed to say I did it to you. Fuck." Jeongin spits. "You go tell him that I fucking saved you, and you didn't know who took you. That you had gotten shit twisted. Got it?"

"And if I don't?" She asks.

"If you don't, Y/N comes back into Minho's life and you're thrown to the side like the garbage you are."

Lisa hangs up the phone, putting it back on the table to charge more. She stands up, heading downstairs and back into Minho's office to talk to him. She stands outside his office door, her hand hovering just above the door as she listens in before knocking.

"We need to find somewhere safe for Lisa to go. She can't stay here, but more importantly, I need to find Y/N." She hears Minho say.

Shit. She needs to do something, she needs him to forget about Y/N and focus on her. She's here with him right now, she's the one that should matter to him.

Knock

Knock

She opens the door slightly, forcing her tears out. "Min?" She sniffles.

"Come in." He says, though he sounds annoyed.

Lisa begins crying heavier now, she looks at him with her tearful eyes, hoping he would be the one to say something first. "You okay?" He asks.

Perfect.

"It wasn't Jeongin who took me.. I lied." She sniffles. "To be honest, I don't know who took me." She whispers. Her entire body shakes, her voice whimpers as she tells him what she knows. "But I'm so scared of him finding me again, this is the only place I feel safe."

Minho notices Hyunjin rolling his eyes, he doesn't believe her story, and frankly Minho isn't entirely sure if he believes her either.

"So Jeongin had no part in your kidnapping, or Y/N's?" Minho asks.

Lisa shakes her head no. "Like I said earlier, I don't know Y/N, but it wasn't Jeongin who took me. I'm sorry for lying about that, baby, he just always made me feel so uncomfortable, so I said his name. But thinking back on it, it wasn't him." She says.

"Are you sure?" Minho asks, wanting to really make sure he was thinking correctly.

"Yeah, it wasn't Jeongin, I swear. He would never do something like that." Lisa says, trying to snuggle her way into Minho's grasp.

Minho's eyes dart to Hyunjin, who's already looking at him. He knows that Hyunjin is on the same page as him. Minho gives Hyunjin a nod, and he swiftly leaves the room.

"Lisa." Minho sighs, moving so he can look right at her.

"Yeah?" She smiles.

He sighs, placing his hands on her cheeks, smiling. "If I find out you're lying about Jeongin or especially Y/N, I'll fucking kill you." He says, dropping her face and storming out of his office, leaving Lisa standing there alone and terrified.

Lisa now knew she fucked up, but Jeongin had her convinced that if she came back into his life, everything would go back to the way it had previously been. She should never have believed him when he came to her with his plan but she desperately wanted to be out of the cage, she wanted to be back into his life and she hated Y/N, she hated that Minho had moved on and she couldn't have let that happen.

“She called a random number.” Hyunjin tells Minho later.

“Did you call it?” Minho asks. Hyunjin nods his head.

“There was no answer. It's a burner phone.” Hyunjin sighs.

“They're working together. I fucking know it.” Minho groans, rubbing his hands on his face.

Before Hyunjin can say anything, Lisa walks into the office. “Hi baby.” She smiles, walking towards Minho.

“I'm busy right now.” Minho says, looking down at the papers on his desk.

“Lisa?” They all hear. Minho looks up, seeing Jeongin standing there. “Wow. It's been so long? What happened? Are you okay?” He asks, walking towards her. Jeongin wraps his arms around Lisa, holding her closely. “Keep your fucking mouth shut.” He whispers to her, pulling away, patting her shoulder.

“You must be so happy.” Jeongin says to Minho, motioning towards Lisa.

“Ha, yeah.” Minho says. “I'm busy, can we talk later?” He says to Lisa and Jeongin. They both nod, walking out of the office. Hyunjin emerges from the corner, sitting in the chair across from Minho.

“I know who can get it out of her.” Hyunjin says. Minho knew who could do it too, but he really didn't want to have that conversation.

“Yeah, Mingi.” He says, pulling out his phone, dialing the number.

“What?” Mingi asks.

“I need your help.” Minho grumbles. “Lisa's back.”

“Oh shit.” Mingi says. “He took Y/N, didn't he?”

“I think so. Lisa said no, but I don't believe her. I need you to find out.”

“You know, if you just lose your morals and start hurting whoever fucks you over, you could do it yourself.” Mingi tells him. “But I'll do it. Bring her here.”

Minho hangs up the phone, looking at Hyunjin. “Go get Lisa.”

Minutes later, Lisa comes into the office, smiling at Minho. “Let's go.” Minho says, grabbing his keys.

“Where are we going?” She asks, climbing into the car.

“Somewhere else where you'll be safe.” Minho says. He can't even look at her, knowing what she's done.

The car ride is silent, until Minho pulls up to the house. “Who lives here?” Lisa asks, getting out of the car along with Minho.

Mingi walks out of the house, a smile on his face. Lisa turns to look at Minho with a horrified look on her face. “Why am I here Minho?” She asks, her voice shaking.

“I know you're fucking lying.” Minho snaps. “and Mingi will get it out of you.” He says, climbing back into the car. He peels off, leaving a crying Lisa, being dragged back into the house.

**

“Jeongin.” You cough, holding your stomach. “I need a doctor.” You say, you hadn't healed at all and it had been weeks.

“I can't take you to the hospital.” Jeongin says, sitting in the corner of the small building. “You'll leave me.”

“I won't leave you… I promise, Jeongin. But I need help.” You cough.

“I'll be back.” He says, standing up, heading towards the door. You groan, laying your head back down on the floor. You were gonna die here. You knew it.

What felt like days later, Jeongin walks back in through the door, a bag in hand. He walks over to you, kneeling down. He lifted your shirt, removing your bandages, replacing them with new ones.

“Take these.” He says, handing you some pills and some water. You didn't even question what he was giving you, you just hoped that it was going to help you.

A week later, a week of Jeongin giving you pills, and tending to your wound a little more carefully you were finally starting to feel better, on the outside but on the inside you were slowly dying. It had almost been a month, you think, since Jeongin had taken you and it made you wonder if Minho was still even looking for you. You thought he would have found you by now, especially if he was actively looking for you. Didn't Lisa tell him Jeongin had you? Every day you waited for Minho to come and bust through the door to pick you up and whisk you away from this shit hole but you were starting to lose faith. You just wanted to go home.

Weeks later, you were finally healed up, and Jeongin had been fucking with your head the entire time. He almost had you convinced that Minho didn't care for you at all and that he was never going to save you. Tell you that he was the one who loved you, and he would always protect you and take care of you but you knew that it was a lie. You knew he was trying to get into your head and you needed to remain strong but you could make him think that you loved him.

That night, you and Jeongin were laying in the bed, fully in the dark. Tears slipped down your cheeks as your lips trembled. “I love you, Jeongin.” You whisper, hoping he believed you. Maybe he would ease up on you and start giving you a little more leeway.

“You do?” He asks, rolling over towards you.

“I do.” You murmur, trying to not let him hear your voice quiver.

“I knew you’d come around.” He happily sighs, holding onto you tightly.

You fall asleep that night, softly crying, wondering if this was your life now, and if you were ever going to be saved.

[bottlesofrouge]

on one condition.

harry styles x original character

part four.

word count: 15K (sorrrry)

warnings: talks of alcohol abuse, minor mentions of homophobia, hinting at a past abusive relationship, bleeding, i think that's it

23 JULY 2018

lynn wakes up late.

she slept through a total of three alarms, fifteen texts, and four phone calls from harry. his incessant banging on her front door was what finally got her out of bed, and by that time, she was already twenty minutes late.

so, she literally rolled out of bed, grabbed her belongings and ran to meet harry at his car. she was sporting old, ratty sweatpants and a t-shirt from her high school mathletes club. glasses replaced her usual contacts and she didn't even have time to brush her teeth.

harry's waiting with his trunk open. he's got on slacks and a stupid button-up top that matches his eyes, and she thinks his hair is slicked back in a way that makes it look a little greasy, but when she gets closer she realizes that it's just wet and also all chopped off. he looks so perfect and pulled together it makes her sick.

"rough night?" he's got his mouth turned upwards in a smirk so big, you'd be blind to miss it. it's annoying and obnoxious, and she makes sure at least one of her bags nudges him on the way into the trunk.

"3am manic episode haircut?" she bites back.

"alright," harry pushes the button to close the trunk. "let's go. we're already late."

the two don't talk for the entire car ride. lynn spends it knocked out with her face pressed against the glass, and she doesn't wake up until harry's shaking her shoulder in the parking lot of the westchester county airport.

he's got all of their bags out of the car already, and he doesn't let lynn carry anything besides her purse. really, there's so many bags. she's got three and he's got two of his own, yet he makes carrying all of them look effortless. like he could do it for ten miles without ever breaking a sweat.

once they've got their bags checked in, lynn drools at the sight of the tsa line. she's so tired.  she feels like she could fall asleep using one of the scanner belts as a bed.

she can't tell if harry could read her mind or if she just looked that utterly exhausted because he gently pulls on her elbow, letting her put all of her weight on him. he's got his arms wrapped around her center and his head's on shoulder. she thinks that if she wasn't so tired, she'd push him off. they look like the average teenage couple at an amusement park. how humiliating.

she felt so pathetic leaning on him like this, but lynn couldn't bring herself to move. last night was the first night in practically months that she slept for more than ninety consecutive minutes. it was like every hour of missed sleep was catching up to her all at once, and keeping her eyes open seemed like the most difficult task in the world. she was definitely not god's strongest solider.

"s'nice," she hums, opening her eyes enough to look over at him, "your hair. it suits you."

his face flushes, and she can't help the grin that spreads across her face. she loves making him blush. he'd stumble over his words and avoid eye contact while he spoke. it was cute.

he was cute.

she expects some kind of flustered 'thank you' to come out of his mouth, but it doesn't. instead he puts his palm out to her face, "maybe you should have a mint."

her eyes roll when she straightens herself back up, no longer leaning on him. she goes through the line first, and when harry's bag gets pulled, she slips away into the bathroom wanting to brush every square inch of her mouth before he could notice she was gone.

harry talks to the gate agent to get their seats switched so they could have two next to each other. lynn had asked her first, and the girl behind the desk said it was a completely full flight, but then harry went up there with that stupid grin and his shining green eyes, and came back three minutes later with two new boarding passes and a phone number on a scrap piece of paper.

"unbelievable," lynn mutters, and harry laughs, shoving the piece of paper in his pocket.

"sorry she didn't think you were sexy, blondie," he teases. "do you think maybe it's the stained sweatpants or the mathletes tshirt? personally, i'd say the glasses-"

"i'm not in the mood right now, harry. don't piss me off."

he hums, arms wrapping around her shoulders, "you look cute, lynn. very soccer mom."

she gently shoves him away, but not before he kisses her. it was nothing crazy, just a peck and she's not really sure why he does it, but when lynn looks over at the girl behind the counter, she's already looking back.

lynn knows harry was only teasing, but she pretends to be interested in the way the little car is pushing back a plane at a nearby gate to hide the way tears pool in her eyes. maybe it was the sleep deprivation, or maybe she was extra sensitive today, but the way he spoke about her reminded her of kathleen in the worst way possible.

harry asks to take the window since he was the one to get their seats changed after all, but lynn refuses. he was pissing her off so badly today. all she wanted to do was put in her airpods and go the fuck to sleep.

harry taps her shoulder, leaning in again to ask if they could switch.

"i'm not giving you head."

the flush returns to his face as one of the flight attendants passes by, eyes rolling at lynn's words. lynn watches as she looks up at the seat numbers, mentally making a note of where the two were sitting.

"fuck, lynn. are you kidding me?"

"stop bothering me," she replies, taking his sweatshirt off of his lap and shoving the balled up fabric between her head and the wall. "have a good flight, harry."

he scoffs next to her, opening his mouth to say something else, but lynn's already turning up her music and closing her eyes.

✮✮✮

lynn's family wasn't coming in until later. they were all originally booked on a flight at twelve in the afternoon, but once she saw harry's flight confirmation, she changed hers. it would be unfair to have him wake up so early just to sit alone at the airport for hours on end.

so, she forked over the money to change her flight and the time for the rental car reservation, and while she was at it, she put the car under harry's name so technically, he had be the one doing all the driving. it was just another thing to make this trip easier for her.

she's sitting in the passenger seat of a green kia soul, looking at the text from her mother that just came through.

'Selfish as usual Lynn.'

her parents owned a condo in the keys. they had bought it when she was the only child, so it was small, one bedroom and one bathroom. her aunts were supposed to take it while she stayed with her family in a bigger condo in the same resort, but now that harry was coming, aunt cece wanted lynn and harry to be able to have some alone time, and offered it up.

and who was she to say no? kathleen being completely against it was just a bonus.

"what made you cut all your hair off in the middle of the night?" lynn asks, eyes focused on the water outside of her window. she felt better. well-rested. it was like she was a new person.

"just wanted a change," he says. "probably a 3am manic episode or whatever you called it.

she hums, stretching in her seat before looking over at him. she meant what she said. short hair suited him. lynn might even go as far to say that it looked better than his long hair. significantly better, really.

"i dropped out of college," he says. it's random, but he says it with such urgency, like he's been waiting— itching to tell her. "that night you stayed over. i dropped out that day."

"nice!" she holds her hand up for a high five, but he just looks at her with furrowed brows and his lips slightly parted. "are you really going to leave me hanging?"

"sorry i don't want to celebrate me ruining my life." his tone is cold and sharp, and so different from how he's been towards her all day.

she can't help the way her eyes roll. "college isn't for everyone, harry. i'm a drop out, and look at me."

"my point exactly."

"excuse me?" her chest feels hot, and she sits up in her seat to fully look at him. "what is that supposed to mean?"

"mommy and daddy aren't going to fork over thousands so i can open my own art studio," he says. "you don't know what it's like to have parents who would never dream of supporting you. they're going to kill me when i tell them."

"you don't fucking know me, harry," she's cut off my another text coming through.

'Shouldn't have expected anything less.'

✮✮✮

"did you want something with jackie?" lynn's sitting on the couch of the condo, and harry's leaning back next to her in a recliner that probably cost more than the bakery's monthly rent. there's an end table between them which held lynn's nearly empty wine glass and a bottle of ibuprofen so big, it cost her a whopping thirty five dollars. "did i ruin that? is that why you're always so upset with me?"

the two haven't spoken since the car ride from the airport. harry wordlessly pulled in to a gas station, and lynn went inside while he pumped the gas. she came out with two bottles of white wine and her precious ibuprofen to find him in the passenger seat.

their bags were thrown in the single bedroom as soon as they walked in. lynn carried in her purse and gas station wine and by the time she figured out how to unlock the door, harry was behind her with all five pieces of luggage.

she hated how much of a gentleman he was.

"i don't date, lynn." his eyes never leave his phone screen.

"sure you do. if you found the right person."

"you think my right person is someone who screws her best friends boyfriend?" he looks up at her and pops the piece of gum he's been chewing since they got on the plane in new york. the way he's chewing should be a felony.

lynn thinks she's going to need more wine to finish the conversation, so she gets up to refill her glass. she feels a little light on her feet when she walks, and perhaps she should stop while she's ahead.

she contemplates it for a second in the kitchen, but she's had a rough day. lynn tips the wine bottle into her glass until it's empty.

"i get the feeling that you don't really like me," she takes her seat on the couch again. "and i know it's not all unwarranted. i've had my bad moments."

harry looks up, eyeing the way her finger traces the stem of her over poured glass of wine. "i think you should stop drinking."

she nods, not in agreement, but in a way that meant she knew harry would say something like that. "right."

he sighs and sets his phone on the table. "jackie was a friend." his shoulders move up. "she was hot so we slept together."

she brings the wine glass up to her lips, taking a gulp so big, harry could probably see the way it moves down her throat.

"our relationship is so different than that, lynn. you know parts of me that no one else does and i don't even know your middle name."

she waves her hand dismissively, "why don't you just ask?"

"because the one time i was vulnerable with you," he spits. "you threw it right back in my face."

there's so much anger laced in his voice, it makes lynn's stomach hurt. that hot feeling comes seeping into her chest, and she tries to hide the tears brimming in her eyes behind another hefty sip of wine.

"i'm sorry," her voice cracks, and she expects harry to soften up just a little bit. "i shouldn't have. i just-"

"you just what?" his eyebrow's are furrowed when he speaks and lynn looks down to see his fists clenched around nothing.

he was still so mad at her.

"i was jealous of the way that you were with her," lynn admits. they were rarely ever so honest with each other, saying it made her feel like she just stood up and stripped naked in the middle of the room.

"jealous that i was fucking her? because we can fix that."

her eyes close, and she brings the glass to her lips again. she loathes the way harry can turn what feels like the most innocent of conversations into something sexual. maybe one day he'd see her for more than just her body.

"you were kind to her," her voice is quiet and soft, like she was telling him her inner most secrets. "and i wanted you to be kind to me, too."

"because you have been so kind to me?" harry's mouth thinned and eyes narrowed with his words.

"yeah, well. i guess not," lynn laughs a little to hide the way a tear spilled over. "i mean i tried to be when we first met at that stupid barbecue and you hated-"

"i didn't want to be there," he interrupts. "i was having a horrible day and my mom trying to set me up just pushed me over the edge."

"how do you think i felt?" her eyes are pleading with him as she speaks. lynn's not really sure what she's asking for, but she thinks she gets it when he takes a deep breath through his nose and his shoulders fall with his exhale.

"if i hated you, i wouldn't have given you my bed," he speaks without breaking eye contact. "and i definitely wouldn't have spent hours making two different meals for you."

"why did you do that?"

he shrugs. "i wanted to."

"but why?"

"i don't fucking know, lynn."

it's falls silent, and she finishes her glass of wine. when she sets the empty glass down on the table, it almost tips over, but harry's quick to catch it and pull it away from her.

maybe he was being more attentive than she thought.

"my grandma paid for my bakery," she hiccups. "left me all this money in her will with a letter that said to spend it on something that would make me happy."

lynn watches as his face softens and his shoulders slouch over in the chair.

"i know what it's like to do it all on your own. my parents never supported me, harry. not once. and i guess i had the financial support, but it came with my grandma dying which is so fucking devastating because she was the only one to ever want something more for me."

the room starts to feel hotter the more she thinks about it. her jaw clenches and all she can see is red. it was so unfair.

"lynn, i didn't know."

"no one knows because i'm never in that bakery." she seethes. "i opened it because i love to bake, and now i sit an in office and do paperwork and payroll every second that isn't taken up by raising two kids that aren't even mine."

"you don't have to raise them. it wouldn't hurt to take a step back," he looks pained almost when he speaks, and lynn's jaw drops at his words, a stare of blank amazement written all over her face. how could he be so stupid?

"i've lived the life that doing that would give them, and it fucking sucks. i don't want them to ever feel like that."

she doesn't even realize she's crying until it's quiet between them and she can finally hear the quiet sobs that come bubbling up from her chest.

"my parents pay for everything," harry blurts. she's turned so she doesn't have to look at him, but she can hear the frantic sound in his voice. it's like he's scrambling to make sense of what just happened between them. offering her whatever reasoning he can to explain why he just acted the way he did. "i've been so stressed thinking about what's going to happen when they find out, and i took it out on you when i shouldn't have. i'm sorry."

"if you needed help with money, there's always a job for you at my bakery, harry. you have to get it through your thick skull that you just need to ask for help."

"i don't want hand outs."

lynn can't help the way she laughs out loud, "it's a job. you actually have to work for what you make. i know that's probably a foreign concept for you."

a knock at the door interrupts them, and harry stands up to answer it. when the door swings open, kathleen's already walking inside. she's got her sunglasses on and her arms are crossed in front of her and god, lynn knew this was going to break her.

"harry, hi!" she kisses his cheek. "i hope your travels were good. i know how lynn can be."

she hears them laugh, and lynn uses the tips of her fingers to push the tears back into her eyes. she was not going to give either of them the satisfaction of watching her cry. again.

kathleen walks past him, standing on the other side of the coffee table to block the window lynn was pretending to look out of.

"confining your poor aunts to a small bedroom, i raised you better than this, lynn adams."

"aunt cece insisted on trading with us, mom," her words were soft. if she spoke any louder, she knew her voice would waver. "harry would be more comfortable here, and silas would actually have space when he comes."

kathleen looks over to harry who is staring back at the two wide-eyed.

"it was an empty offer, lynn. you of all people should be familiar with those."

lynn wants to scream at her mom because what the fuck is that supposed to mean. she knows her mom's probably upset that she had to watch her own two children on a three hour flight, but lynn doesn't want to push it. instead, she just blinks. she's so miserable.

"breakfast is at 8 tomorrow. don't be late," she goes to leave but turns back after a step. "i hope you can pull yourself together enough to not look like you belong under an underpass."

"i've raised you to take pride in your appearance," kathleen takes a step towards lynn with every hateful word she spews until she's practically in her face. her fingers pinch the sleeve of the t-shirt the girl's wearing. "this is embarrassing for me, lynn."

kathleen stands up, clapping her hands together like she didn't just humiliate her daughter, and turns to harry with the biggest smile on her face.

"sorry, harry. i'm sure you're well accustomed with just how selfish she can be," she kisses his cheek on the way to the door. "we are so glad you could join us. see you tomorrow."

she walks out of the door, and harry stays frozen in place. he's got those same wide doe eyes, and his lips are parted. his eyebrows are drawn together, and lynn can't help but look away. she hated when people pitied her.

there's a watery smile sat on her face, and she forces a teasing laugh, "how's that for being vulnerable?"

"i didn't know she treated you like that," harry says after a moment.

"she's just having a bad day," lynn shrugs. the way she says it is almost convincing, but when lynn finally gets a good read on the look in harry's eyes, she breaks. nasty sobs, ones so big they take her breath away, fall from her mouth, and she buries her face into her hands, wishing nothing more than to never be perceived by the boy standing in front of her again.

harry doesn't say anything, and instead sits down next to her. she feels his hands pressing against her back and fingers squeezing her shoulders, and when it's not enough, he pulls her into him with such force it almost hurts. his lips press against the side of her head before he tucks her head under his chin and squeezes her as tight as he can until she feels like she can finally catch her breath again.

"i don't want to be here," lynn confesses. it's quiet and harry barely catches it, but when it registers, he presses his lips against her hair and rubs his hand up and down her arm.

"i know," she can feel the words vibrate in his chest. "i'd say we go home right now, but i don't think you'd want that."

she shakes her head. "i don't want to leave my sisters here without me."

"you've got me here," he offers. "we can have fun with them."

lynn snorts. "we can't go eight hours without ripping each other's heads off."

she says it like it's a scientifically proven fact. like nothing could ever change that, yet she's holding on to his shirt like he's the only thing keeping her all put together. if he were to let her go, she'd break into a million pieces.

"i'm sorry for earlier," harry says. "i was such a dick."

"it's okay," she hums.

"it's not," his thumbs rub circles against her skin when he speaks. "i never want me treating you like that to be okay."

lynn can't help herself, "i don't think you'd be saying that if you didn't see how my mother treated me."

"probably not," he admits. "i still would've been wrong, though. i don't want to be someone you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around, lynn."

lynn hums and leans into him more, and harry pulls her closer, his grip tightening. there's probably going to be bruises left behind on her skin from just how tightly he's holding her against him.

she wishes the marks would stay forever so she could always remember the way she wasn't left to put herself together all on her own for once. she'd probably press her fingertips into them every time she felt so broken and alone, desperately hoping to feel the way she does now.

"i should be the one apologizing," her voice is raw. "i've been just as terrible to you. probably even worse."

"you're kind, too," harry mouths against her temple. "especially when it matters, s'where i lack. i'm not very good at being kind."

she leans back, scoffing. "not very good at being kind? look at you now."

he loosens his arms, but they still stay around her like he's scared to let her go. harry's cheeks turn pink, and he brings one hand up to use the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe the tears from under her eyes.

"yeah well," he laughs lightly. "i don't like seeing you upset."

her eyebrow raises, and she looks at him skeptically.

"i hate being the one who upsets you even more," his fingers pull her hair away from her sticky cheeks and tucks the strands behind her ear. "i don't know. i think we should've spent some time getting to know each other a bit more before we started all of this."

"would've changed your mind after realizing just how much of a bitch i was, huh?"

she's got a teasing smile on her lips, but harry just frowns. "lynn, no. that's not it at all."

"i was kidding," she chews her lips, looking down to smooth out the collar of his shirt. "kind of. i was a bitch."

"and i've been been a dick so we can call it even. i just— i don't know. this was supposed to make our lives easier, and i feel like we're just constantly hurting or upsetting each other."

"yeah," she hums. "do you want to go home?"

"no. of course not. that's not what i meant." he sighs, and lynn leans back. his hands still loosely sit on her arms, but there's space between them now.

"i think we could use this trip to get to know each other," lynn says. "communicate more, set some boundaries. being more comfortable with each other physically wouldn't kill either. i know my mom would start to have some questions if she constantly walked in on us nine feet apart from each other."

"yeah, i agree."

"are you okay if we maybe just sit here for a minute?" she asks. "together? you know, to get more comfortable with each other?"

"yeah, let me just.." he moves so he's got his back against a pillow propped up on the arm of the couch. harry takes lynn with him, so she's curled up against his side, head resting on his chest. he's got his arm around her and she can feel like way his fingertips trail from her hip to her ribcage and then back down. "there."

they're only like that for a minute before she starts crying again. "m'sorry."

"don't be," his voice matches the intensity of hers. he takes a deep breath, and then, "i've got you, blondie. just like you had me."

"m'not usually this weepy," she says. "haven't been in a while."

harry doesn't say anything at first, and lynn can feel the way his heart beat quickens when he opens his mouth, "does your mom treat your sisters like that, too?"

"i don't think so," she hums. "she's not always that intense either. s'why i stay around so much. i'd rather it be me than them."

maybe it's the bottle of wine, or maybe harry's just made her feel that comfortable. "she's better with them. when i was a baby, i had an au pair. my dad had an affair with her, and moved out before i was even one. i think she blames me for that. like their marriage would be so different if i hadn't been born."

"lynn, i-"

she's quick to sit up on her forearm, pressing her palm to harry's mouth. "i think it's the wine that's got me spilling all my secrets. don't reply to that."

"i just wish you had better," he says, and lynn can't help the watery grin that spreads across her face.

"me too," she hums. he's looking at her in a way she can't really read, and she's looking back with old tears drying on her cheeks and fresh ones pooling in her eyes.

lynn sits up when all the glances and touches start to feel like maybe she'd like to be trapped underneath him, his lips pressed against hers until she couldn't breathe anymore.

she'd blame that last thought on the wine.

"we passed a chinese spot on the way in," she says.

"but we just had chinese."

"but chicken lo mein?" lynn's rubbing her belly like she's absolutely famished. "god, i'm so hungry."

harry laughs, and lynn can't help but stare. his eyes wrinkled at the sides and his dimples came out, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't find it cute.

"let me get the keys."

"perfect. let me go change."

"don't," he catches her wrist. "your mom has to be so fucking miserable. you look fine." he's looking at her with such intensity, it makes her stomach hurt.

"you're not embarrassed by this?" her voice is soft. she's still got her mathlete's t-shirt on, but she swapped the sweatpants for a pair of shorts.

"fuck no," he says. "i was just teasing you at the airport, lynn. you look pretty, really. you always do."

her cheeks warm, and she pretends to fix her hair in the reflection of the t.v. to hide it.

"maybe no more teasing about how i look."

"of course," he moves next to her, doing the same to his hair. "should've punched me in the face and told me to shut the fuck up. m'sorry, lynn."

"s'okay," she laughs lightly, catching his eye in the reflection. "i think we owe ourselves a fresh start.”

"i think so, too."

they share a two top table in the corner of a small hole in the wall chinese restaurant that took forever to get to. harry orders for them, swapping both of their usual meals for something a bit bigger. lynn got general tso’s chicken with lo mein as a side, and harry asked for beef and broccoli with a side of his usual fried rice.

they ate in silence for a few minutes, each being too hungry to talk, but once the hunger pains subsided, harry started to make a list in the notes app of his phone.

“touching’s okay,” lynn says around her fork. “but maybe we should ask before kissing. at least until it’s something we’re both really comfortable with.”

harry nods in agreement, making it the fourth bullet point in the list. it fell behind communicating better, no more sex jokes, and no more pushing each other too far.

lynn hums in contentment at the list. her brain felt fuzzy and focusing on coming up with another bullet point felt like the hardest task ever, so she moved her attention to the chicken in front of her until harry turned his phone around.

stand up for each other when it comes to our parents

lynn grins at him, “i like that one. maybe we can add no more labeling it as an open relationship if that’s okay with you. you can still see other people, just have to be a little more careful with it.”

harry types it out, and then turns his phone around. written under it, “friends are off limits.”

the two stay in the restaurant for an hour making the list. at the end, they’ve gone through six fortune cookies and three pots of green tea and have compiled a whopping forty five bullet points.

on the way back harry makes a wrong turn, or that’s what lynn thinks, and they end up in the parking lot of a 24 hour winn dixie.

"i thought i could get us more wine," he says. "and you could get some things to bake while we're here. we could make jane a birthday cake.”

"harry..."

he shrugs. "you don't have to. i just thought maybe you’d want to.”

she can't hold back her grin as they walk towards the aisle, and it makes harry smile, too. they stay in there for nearly an hour, and lynn can hear him muffling a yawn with his hand every so often, but harry never once complains.

when they’re finally back, harry carries all of the groceries inside while lynn unlocks the door. she changes into her pajamas and harry puts all the groceries into empty cabinets.

later, they’re both sitting in the living room, some random tv show playing quietly in the background. lynn felt like she has lived a hundred different lives today, yet the fact that the two are where they are now made every ounce of anger and every tear she’d worth it.

"drew," her voice is quiet when she speaks, a little scratchy from staying quiet for so long.

"what about him?"

"that's my middle name."

"you're kidding," the corners of harry’s mouth are upturned slightly, unsure if he should laugh or not.

she shakes her head. "my parents wanted a boy."

and really, they never wanted her. lynn was just the starting point of the biggest fuck up in their marriage. she held her mom back in her career, and was probably the only reason her parents even got back together in the first place.

"what's up, blondie?" harry’s looking at her with soft eyes.

"hm?"

"what're you thinking about?"

she hums for a second, debating if she should ruin this good place they just got to with her own mommy issues.

“just how badly i want to crawl into bed.”

harry stands up, and returns back with a pillow and blanket in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

“go,” he pushes the wine towards her. “i’ve got the couch.���

“thank you,” she takes the glass from his hand, weakly smiling at him, and he returns it with one of those smiles he gave jane that night in her playroom. it's bright and beautiful.

and more importantly, it's all for her.

24 JULY 2018

lynn starts her morning with her face in the toilet bowl. she really shouldn't have had that much wine last night, but she couldn't help herself. she was so incredibly tired, yet nothing was helping her fall asleep.

there's a soft knock at door, and lynn groans. her face is sticky and she's got it pressed against the ceramic of the sink trying to cool herself down.

"come in."

"oh, blondie," harry's pushing the door open. he's got a large cup full of ice water and the container of ibuprofen in his hand. "i didn't think you drank that much."

"had more after you went to sleep," she groans, hunching back over the toilet. "finished the second bottle and maybe half of the third."

"you should've woken me up," he sits next to her on the floor. his hands pull down her shirt to cover her exposed skin, and then run across her back as she gets sick again.

"gross," he reaches up to flush the toilet.

she scowls over at him, "at least you aren't covered in it."

his shoulders draw together, cringing at the thought. "not my best moment."

it's quiet between them as lynn lowers the lid of the toilet. her arms cross on top of it, and she rests her head on her arms, sighing at just how terrible she feels.

"feeling any better?" he reaches for her face, pushing her hair off of her sweaty forehead.

she shakes her head, and harry unscrews the cap of the ibuprofen. a few fall into his hand, and he nudges them past her lips, bringing the cup of water to her mouth after.

"thank you," she takes the cup from him, gulping half of it before setting it back down on the floor.

"why don't you get back in bed?"

"that stupid breakfast," she mutters. "can you start the shower when you leave?"

lynn finds harry sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table. he's wearing a pair of black swim trunks and a yellow button up top. his sunglasses pushed his hair away from her face, and the whole room smelled like banana boat sunscreen.

she sighs before sitting in the chair to slip her sandals on. "ready?"

"are you sure you want to go?"

she shakes her head, "but we have to. i just want to get it over with."

the two walk to the resort restaurant holding hands. it feels almost corny to lynn. to be doing this when she's pushing thirty, but maybe that's just because she doesn't think she's ever seen her parents hold hands. they never really show affection.

jane squeals when she sees harry, jumping up from her spot at the table and running to cling to his leg.

"oh, sunflower," he bends down to pick her up, letting her sit on his hip. "i've missed you."

"you saw me the other day," her arms cross like she's mad at harry for forgetting.

"i know," he pinches her side. "i still missed you."

harry wraps his free hand around lynn's back, resting it on her hip and pulling her closer to the two, "no hello, jane?"

the little girl huffs, turning away from her sister. "you left me alone yesterday on the plane."

lynn goes to reply, but harry beats her to it, "m'sorry. i needed lynn to come with me, janey." his voice lowers. "i'm scared of planes."

jane gasps, hand flying to her mouth in a way that's so dramatic it has harry and lynn giggling.

"you're late lynn," her mother is sitting at the head of the table, eyes glancing at her watch.

"that's my fault, ms. kathleen," harry's putting jane back in her chair. "i wasn't feeling my best when i woke up."

kathleen doesn't respond, and lynn wraps her arms around amelia's neck, bending down to kiss her cheek to hide her growing smile.

harry and lynn sit across from each other, with a sister on either side of them. lynn scoots her chair closer to amelia, engaging in conversation about anything her sister wanted to talk about. she felt like the girl was pulling away from her now that she was getting older, and lynn found herself desperately wishing to go back to a year ago when melia would sit under the covers of her bed, spilling her innermost thoughts to her older sister.

she tried to keep her attention fully on amelia as she spoke, but lynn couldn't resist the urge to steal a glance at the two across from her every so often. jane usually had her hand in the air, waving around a green crayon triumphantly while harry had his face in his hands, quietly weeping over another lost game of tic tac toe.

"ugh, you're gushing over him," amelia whines. "you're not even listening."

"am not," lynn brings her mug up to her lips. "you were talking about how mr. fielder was being unfair with your last geometry quiz. he gave you a 72 and you think you deserve an 80."

"it was algebra," she rolls her eyes, turning her attention to her phone.

harry's looking over with furrowed brows and lynn shrugs, not really knowing why her sister seemed so upset with her. the only part she had gotten wrong was the type of math class. sue her.

when they're finished eating, kathleen and peter leave without saying a word, and lynn realizes they're stuck with amelia and jane. it was so like her mother to invite her just to play babysitter.

jane decides she wants to go to beach, so the two older girls follow while harry stops back at the condo to get everything he needed.

lynn's sitting on one of the lounge chairs, rubbing sunscreen into jane's skin when harry joins them again. he's got an overflowing beach bag on his shoulder, two of lynn's water bottles filled to the brim in one hand, and a book from her carry-on and her pair of forgotten sunglasses in the other.

god, he was a dream.

"why don't you rest?" harry sits down next to her, pulling jane's life vest from the bottom of the bag. "i've got them today."

"it's your vacation, too, harry. i can't-"

"please," he says. "take a break. you deserve it."

"okay," there's a small smile on her lips when she speaks, and it grows even more when harry leans in and asks if he can kiss her.

he doesn't though, even when lynn says yes. instead, he focuses on clipping jane's life vest and pulling the tabs to make sure it's tightened properly.

"all set, sunflower. are you coming, amelia?" the girl shakes her head, moving to sit on the lounger next to lynn's instead.

harry leans in and presses his lips against lynn's, just like he did in the parking lot of jane's recital. it's short and sweet and he pulls back just a little before kissing her again. and again. and again.

lynn's leaning back against the lounge chair and harry's chasing her, kissing her face wherever his lips could reach. she's laughing the kind of laugh that pinches in her side as she pushes her palms up to harry's lips, stopping his scruff from tickling her.

he kisses her palms once. twice. and then looks at her over her finger tips, mumbling something about being safe, and then he's gone, running to the water with jane's hand in his.

lynn's palms press against her cheeks, wondering if they were as hot as they felt. god, she was blushing.

she's about to open the bag to see what else harry had packed, but she hears her sister scoff next to her, and when she looks over, the younger girl is glaring.

"something wrong, amelia?"

"you're drinking again," she states. "i can see it. you're hungover."

"i'm twenty seven. i can have a hangover," lynn bites back the snippy remark she has on the tip of her tongue because she knows that what she did to amelia will probably forever be burned into her brain.

after her last relationship, she dropped out of college and moved home. she sat in bed everyday, staring at the wall. all of her friends were states away, and it didn't really matter anyway. he had isolated her so badly, the only thing she had to keep her company were her thoughts.

so she drank. because she needed them to stop. because she'd do anything for a few hours of peace and quiet.

some nights she drank so much she'd sleep throughout the entire next day and other times she'd have to move her mattress into the bathroom. lynn hasn't made herself sick in forever. today being an exception.

however, on her worst night, she blacked out, only coming to the next morning in a hospital bed. she had passed out on the stairs in her parents house, leaving a nine year old amelia to find her.

so if amelia was upset about her drinking, she understood. but lynn wasn't twenty one anymore. she went to therapy, she did the work, and she was better. if she wanted to have a few glasses of wine to unwind she would. she deserved it.

"you've only started drinking after you met him," she points out.

"not true, and this has nothing to do with him, mels. it isn't like last time. i promise."

amelia doesn't say anything. instead, she turns on her side away from lynn.

25 JULY 2018

harry blindly searches for his phone on the nightstand in the dark, his palm sliding against the smooth surface to no avail. he groans and rubs his eyes trying to get the sleep out of them before moving to look under the bed.

he finds his phone plugged into the charger on the bathroom counter, not really remembering how it got there. being in the sun all day had him sleeping so hard, he felt like he was still in a dream.

harry splashes some water on his face and looks in the mirror, suddenly becoming aware of just how thirsty he is. cupping his hand under the bathroom sink wasn't going to cut it. he needed the biggest glass of ice cold water he could find.

he moves into the living area, finding lynn sitting on the couch. the dim glow of the television lit up her face as she focused on reading the subtitles that flashed on the screen.

"hey," his voice is low and scratchy, and lynn jumps at the sudden sound. "can't sleep?"

she shakes her head. "not really. what about you?"

"woke up just absolutely parched."

lynn laughs under her breath and pats the couch cushion next to her. "sit. i've got it."

she's already standing, and harry thinks the long twenty step trek to the kitchen seemed so far, so he sits. there's an old rerun of the office on, and lynn's got the volume so low he can barely make out the words. harry wonders if it's like that because she didn't want to wake or because she didn't want him to know she was awake.

he turns up the volume before she sits down, a glass of water in one hand and what he assumes is a mug of tea in the other. harry thanks her, settling into the comfort of the couch.

"go to sleep. you're tired," she says against the lip of her mug, and harry wants to because he is exhausted, but he knew he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about lynn sitting out here all by herself if he was went back into the room.

"and you're not?" he could tell she was just as tired as he was. probably even more. she spent the whole day soaking in the sun with a book in her hand. never once did he come out of the water to find her with her eyes closed.

"i am," her fingers reach for the remote to turn down the volume again. "i just have trouble sleeping sometimes."

"take the bed," lynn's quick to shake her head in protest. "i'm serious, blondie. i could knock out on the floor with a beach towel for a pillow. take the bed, please."

"m'not gonna sleep either way," she mumbles. "you might as well be comfy."

when she looks over at him, harry notices just how slowly she blinks. it's like she's in a daze, glassy eyes barely focusing when they're open. his hand rests on her ankle, thumb brushing over her skin, and she hums in response. he doesn't think she's slept since the plane ride two days ago.

"why don't we share the bed?" her eyes snap open, and she's looking at him like he's said something absolutely absurd. like he's crazy for even thinking the two of them could fit in the california king. "or we can sit out here and watch office reruns. i'm not picky."

"can we watch tv in bed?" she's got a lazy smile on her lips.

"sure," harry squeezes her ankle before helping her up.

when they get into the bedroom, lynn gets under the covers while harry goes to the bathroom to retrieve his phone and plug it into the outlet near the nightstand.

"shall we build one of those pillow walls or whatever they do in every rom com?" he's standing over the bed, stretching out his sore shoulders.

lynn laughs, head tilting back a little, and harry can't help the wave of satisfaction that washes over him because he has her laughing even though she's clearly miserable.

"are you saying you picture us as the two main characters in a rom com, harry styles?" she pats the spot next to her. "we've shared a bed before. shut out the light and get in."

harry's quick to turn the lamp off, wanting nothing more than to hide the flush of his face from the growing heat to his cheeks. he definitely didn't have a crush on her, but if she asked him to kiss her goodnight right now, he wouldn't really be opposed.

as soon as his face hits the pillow, harry feels his eyelids getting heavy. he's not sure if it was the sun or all the swimming around with jane clinging to his side, but he's certain he's never been so tired in his life.

"sorry, i just-" lynn's turning on her phone flashlight, illuminating the small room. harry hears her soft foot steps as she shuts the bedroom door, the click of a lock following right after. the light turns off, and harry feels the bed dip beside him again. "sorry."

"no reason to apologize, blondie."

it's quiet again, and harry feels himself dozing off even with the tv on. lynn keeps the sound down just like before, and opts for some subtitles instead.

"you can turn it up," he speaks with his eyes closed. "i could probably sleep through an explosion."

"s'for me. not you," harry's back is turned toward her, but he can hear the eye roll in her voice. "can't sleep with the sound on."

"right," because he definitely should've known that. how could he be so stupid?

harry doesn't mean to get annoyed with lynn. he really doesn't, but she is so fidgety. she's tossing and turning and rubbing her feet together under the covers. she bites the skin around her nails, and then drops her hands next to her in a way that has the entire bed moving.

and usually, harry would be able to sleep through every shake of the bed and every sigh that fell from her lips. during his freshman year, his roommate admitted to consistently fucking his girlfriend while harry slept soundly... on the bunk above them.

needless to say, he was a heavy sleeper. at least he thought he was. maybe he was having an off night, or maybe it was because lynn was the one sleeping next to him. he didn't really care to know which.

lynn gets up again. this time she decides to use the glow of the television instead of her flashlight. harry hears the click of the bedroom lock, and then shortly after the click of the deadbolt to the actual front door of the condo.

she comes back to the room, shutting and locking the door behind her, and then she twists the knob twice, ensuring it's locked.

he rolls over to face her, "got everything locked up?"

"yeah, i think so," she hums, and harry expects her to relax. maybe lean into the pillow and close her eyes. instead she bites the side of her thumb, and then, "maybe i should check again."

his arm comes out, pushing her back against the mattress. "i've got it."

harry stumbles out of the room, too tired to hold himself up properly. the weight of him has his shoulders slouching and his half closed eyes have him tripping over literal air. he checks the lock on the front door, and then goes to the kitchen to find the keys to it.

he slips them off of the key ring, and then stops before he gets back to the bedroom, running his fingers along the top of the door frame to search for the small key that usually sits on top of it.

he locks the bedroom door behind him, twisting the knobs twice, just like lynn did, and then he gets into bed and searches for her hand under the covers.

"here," harry presses the keys into her palm. "you've got the keys, lynn, everything's locked and no one's getting in."

"thank you," her voice is watery just like it was when she sat in his lap and fell apart the day prior. "the last time i was here was with him."

and harry doesn't really know who she's talking about. he assumes an ex, and feels a burn in his chest at the realization.

she missed him so much, she couldn't sleep.

he wonders if they've shared this bed before, too. if lynn clung to him with tears in her eyes on the couch. maybe he spent hours with her sisters, just so she could breathe for a second, just like harry did. kathy and peter probably loved the guy. harry bets he got more than a head nod when they all sat down for meals.

harry hums in response, too tired to try and form a sentence that doesn't come across like he's a little pissed off. there's no reason for him to be.

he stays awake for a bit longer, reading the subtitles off of the tv. when he notices lynn's breathing slowing, he looks over to see her eyes shut. harry closes his, melting into the mattress and finally falling asleep.

25 JULY 2018

harry thinks lynn is probably the heaviest sleeper in existence.

she's got her face pressed against the pillow, her mouth is open, and he is definitely watching her while she sleeps. it's not that he means to. really, he doesn't. he just doesn't think he's ever seen someone sleep so soundly in his entire life.

the truth is, if anyone deserves a good night's sleep, it's lynn. she was always so busy running between work and taking care of her sisters, and whatever time she did have left over was spent sitting at a dinner table with his parents or at a bar with gemma and drew. it was almost weird to see her without the little worry wrinkle that seemed to be permanently stamped between her eyebrows.

harry slips out of bed, making sure she's still tucked into the sheets in the process. he stops himself from leaning down and pressing his lips against the crown of her head because even his sleep-dazed brain knew that would be insanely crazy.

the coffee lynn had picked out a few nights prior at the grocery store is sitting on the counter, silently begging to be brewed. harry starts a pot for both of them to share, leaning against the counter as the machine hums and splutters as it starts to brew. a sigh pushes past his lips, and he decides that the ache in his chest was something more than leftover heartburn from last night's dinner.

he misses oliver so much.

maybe it's a little selfish, but he can't help but wish that it were oliver here with him instead. they'd probably spend lazy mornings in between the sheets before harry would reluctantly pull himself away to make oliver his favorite breakfast, hoping to get a hundred thank you kisses in return.

and then oliver would probably come out of their room freshly showered, with a smile so big sitting on his lips, it'd make harry's chest physically hurt just because he loved him so much. he'd press kisses to harry's shoulders and his neck and all the way up to his chin before finally kissing his mouth, parting with a quiet 'thank you'. oliver was always so appreciative, and harry thinks he’ll never love anyone as much as he loved the boy.

his daydream comes to an end when he sees lynn walking out of the bedroom with her hair all messy and pulled away from her face. she's still got her pajamas on and there's sleep in her eyes, evidently still tired from last night.

"how do you like your coffee?"

"just cream," lynn’s voice is raspy. "thanks."

she sits on one of the stools in front of him and he pushes the mug towards her before filling up another one with black coffee and setting it in front of himself.

he takes a sip, and then, "sleep good?"

"really good actually," she offers him a small smile. it's shy, almost like she's trying to hide it and stop it from growing any wider. harry’s decided that’s a tell that her smile is genuine. "i know you wanted to sit out today, but do you think you could sit with me in here for a bit after? just until i fall asleep."

"yeah, of course," he says. "yesterday wore me out. i could use a nap, too."

"perfect,” her mug sits at against her lips. “it’s a date, then.”

if it were up to harry, the two would spend the entire day locked away in the room and underneath all of the covers. he was exhausted, and he knew lynn was, too. she's sitting in front of him, eyes glued to her reflection in the marble counter, and she's not saying a word.

"your aunt cece is going to be at breakfast, right?"

lynn nods around a sip of coffee. "and aunt rosie. they got in last night."

"good," he says. "they're lovely."

"they are," lynn agrees. "it’s crazy to think that cece and my mom grew up in the same house."

and harry doesn't know if he should agree or not, but when they're all sitting at the beach after breakfast, he thinks he definitely does.

aunt cece is sitting on a lounger next to him while lynn plays in the water with her sisters. rosie is on the other side of her and peter and kathy are god knows where. it's quiet between the two at first, each just soaking up the sun, and then aunt cece turns her head to look at him.

"lynn told me that you're queer," aunt cece says. "sorry if that was forward of me."

harry doesn't really know what to say, or where exactly this conversation is going so he just nods and sits up a little straighter in his chair. "i am. it's not something i'm really open about though."

"if you don't mind me asking, i was wondering what your views on sexuality are," the older woman replies. "i'm a human sexuality professor. i'm not sure if lynn told you that, but i've been grading the last of these final exams, and i want to see what you think. would you say sexuality is black and white or more of a spectrum?"

"i think it would depend on the person," harry answers. "for me, i'd say more of a spectrum. when i'm with lynn, i feel more on the straight side. i don't know. it sounds stupid. my queerness is still there, but i feel like it's invisible almost to those around me and i think their perceptions affect the way i view myself, too. when i was with my ex boyfriend, it was the opposite. i don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. i don’t mind either way.”

"told you, cecilia," rosie says from next to them. she's looking at her wife with such fondness in her eyes, it makes harry a little jealous.

"whatever," the other woman rolls her eyes, pretending to be annoyed before turning her attention back to harry. "most of my queer students said the same. i was wondering if it was just an age thing."

he tilts his head for a second because he's the same age as aunt cece's college students, but before he can ask what he means, she's opening her mouth again.

"why aren't you open about your sexuality?"

harry's not embarrassed of his queerness, and it's not something he outright hides. he doesn't really like to use the term "closeted" to describe himself, but he did only tell people he was completely comfortable with.

"i'm not ashamed if that's what you think," he replies. "it's my family. it's just easier if i keep that part tucked away."

"i'm sorry to hear that," the older woman is so sincere when she speaks. "there's always room for you in my family, harry. rose and i will always be just a phone call away, even if you and lynn aren’t together anymore."

"it's been forever since she's brought someone around," rosie leans forward. "i don't see you going away any time soon."

there's a burning in the back of his throat, and he's trying so hard not to let tears pool his eyes, "thank you."

aunt cece leans forward to squeeze his hand, and harry thinks it's about to be the final straw. the tears are about to start flooding.

"what'd you do to my boyfriend, aunt cece?" lynn's sitting down on the edge of his lounger. the salt water dripping from her hair feels so good on his skin. "got him all teary eyed."

"your aunt was just telling him how much we love having him around," rosie speaks for her wife.

"we do love having him around," jane joins them, digging in harry's bag to look for her sand bucket.

lynn's thumb brushes away the singular tear he lets fall before anyone else can see, and presses her lips against his temple. "you feeling okay?"

and he nods, leaning his head against her shoulder. he feels more than okay. harry thinks he's never felt so loved in his entire life.

and yet, every part of it is fake.

✮✮✮

"wanna go make out in the water?" lynn giggles at the warmth of harry's words against her skin, and turns her head over to look at him. he's got a lopsided smile on his face, and he moves hand to rest on top of hers, squeezing once. "we don't have to. i'm just kind of bored."

"and making out with me is more exciting than ogling half of chi omega?" she tips her head back, alluding to the group of fake blondes all stretched out across the loungers next to them.

"i'm only looking at you, blondie," she feels his words deep in her stomach and prays to god they don't reflect in her face. the two were laying on their towels in the sand, inches apart. he'd definitely be able to notice if a blush made its way to her cheeks. 

she rolls her eyes, pulling her sunglasses down off of her head to let her hair try and hide her probably pink cheeks, and then she pushes herself up on to her knees, "are you coming or what?"

"can i come?" jane's moving in between them, her big, blue eyes looking up at harry. "please, harry."

"not today, janey," he squeezes just above the girl's elbow, the devastation evident in her face. "tomorrow, though. i promise."

jane sighs, but doesn't press further. instead she sulks back over to her aunts, stopping to pick up any seashells she could use to decorate her castle on the way.

they walk into the water together and lynn wets her hair, pushing it out of her face and moving her sunglasses back up to hold it in place.

"alright. how should we do this?"

harry laughs. he's got his sunglasses over his eyes, but the way his dimples pop out has lynn guessing that his eyes are shining, too. it reminds her of luke’s sunshine smiles. harry’s are different though. the warmth and happiness are so obvious across his entire face. he practically embodied sunshine. 

"you're making it sound like a chore, lynn."

"am not."

and really she wasn't. she was trying her best to not explode with excitement. she'd never tell harry, his ego was big enough as it is, but he was a good kisser, and she's been thinking about the way his mouth felt against hers ever since that night at his apartment.

"come closer," he reaches for her, pulling her into him. his lips press against her hairline, and then they disappear. "gotta warm up to it."

"i'm a bit out of practice," she admits. "don't laugh if i'm bad."

"never," she rests her head on top of his shoulder, feeling the words in his chest as he speaks. "this is just supposed to be fun, blondie."

"right," she hums. "just fun."

"just fun," he repeats it again, voice barely above a whisper. she leans back so she can look at him, and he's got a small smile sitting on his lips. he kisses her face, right next to the corner of her mouth. "this okay?"

"yeah," she hums, and he does it again. "s'good."

harry trails his lips down to under her chin, kissing along her jaw until he meets the skin just below her ear. then she feels it. the way his teeth gently scrape against the sensitive area.

"alright," her hand pushes his face away, but his arm still keeps her against him. "you're just teasing me, now."

"oh, yeah? bet you've been thinking about this since the last time. haven't you?" the words send heat right to her cheeks, and this time she doesn't care to hide it.

"whatever helps you sleep at night," she pinches his bottom lip between her fingers, soothing the skin with the pad of her thumb when she lets go.

his teeth nip at her thumb before she pulls it away with a giggle, "wait, don't i help you sleep at night?"

"oh whatever," she's grinning so hard her cheeks hurt. it reminds her of when she watched him playing with jane, and the way the little girl was smiling so big. she wishes they could've had this kind of relationship from the beginning.

"y'gonna kiss me already?" he squeezes her hip. "or am i gonna have to do all the work?"

"mmm," she hums. "i am kind of tired."

harry pushes her chin up with his finger before pressing his lips to hers. they're warm, and firm and harry always kisses her like he's trying to prove something.

she feels his tongue on her bottom lip, and she squeezes her mouth together for no other reason than to annoy him. "c'mon, lynn. don't be like that."

"y'taste gross," her nose scrunches, and it's true, he did.

harry opens his eyes, keeping his forehead pressed against hers. "i just had a beer."

"exactly," lynn hated the taste. (but if harry were to keep kissing her like how he is now, she would definitely look past it.)

"sorry my mouth can't be as sweet as yours," he drags his thumb across her lips. "all those rum punches, hm?"

lynn let's harry have his way with her mouth. he's sucking and biting and running his tongue  against hers, and she is just taking it. soaking it all up. it's been forever since she's been kissed like this and she feels a little selfish when all she offers him is a few lazy sucks on his lips.

his fingertips press into the back of her thighs, and she pulls away, shocked at the feeling. harry was a touchy person, but he seemed like he knew his limits.

"you're getting a little too handsy," she warns. "don't piss me off and ruin our fun just yet."

he simply lifts his hands, wrapping her legs around his waist. 

"m'not trying to feel you up, just wanna make it a little easier f'you,” he kisses her chin. “and for me. that angle fucking sucked.”

she rolls her eyes, arms coming to drape around his neck. lynn's looking down at him now, and she lets her lips lightly brush across his face just to tease him. harry's lips are red and swollen, and she runs her thumb across them, smearing the saliva into his soft skin.

"they're looking," she whispers, looking over at the group of girls they were laying out by before.

"your family? that's kind of the whole point."

"no," she hums. "your new friends."

"yeah," harry rolls his eyes. "and they're watching me put my tongue in your mouth. jealousy is not a very good look on you, blondie."

lynn closes the space between them, actually kissing him with effort. she works his mouth just like he was doing to her minutes ago. she sucks and bites and presses their lips so hard together she thinks that they're going to be bruised in the morning.

she feels a little confident when she lets her hands slide into his hair, tugging just enough to pull his mouth away from hers. there's a groan in his throat when she does, and he tries best to hide it, but lynn's already heard it and now her fun was ruined.

"sorry, what's not a good look on me?"

"marry me," harry breathes out.

lynn laughs lightly, resting over his shoulder and wrapping her arms and legs around him tighter. she sighs, and harry runs his fingers along her back while his lips press into her hair.

"ready for our nap?"

"showers and then a nap," she corrects, silently thanking whatever god would listen that harry could let whatever just happened between them go just as quickly as she could. "im not letting you get the bed all sandy."

"whatever you want, honey," he hums, starting to walk out of the water with lynn still in his arms.

"don't call me that," she leans back to look at him, drawing her brows together like she was annoyed. really, she was fighting whatever urge came bubbling up in her throat that had her wanting to ask him to say it again.

"why not? you're sweet like honey."

"i miss when you hated me," lynn sighs, letting herself fall limp against him again.

"never hated you, lynn." she tries to ignore the way his words make her feel warm all over.

"c'mon," she lets her legs down, standing on the dry sand. "let's just grab our stuff and go. they'll think we're going to have crazy sex and it'll buy us a few hours of peace and quiet."

✮✮✮

lynn wakes up to harry moving her hair away from her face. he's propped up on his elbow, fingers brushing over her skin just as lightly as the way her name leaves his lips.

"hey," harry murmurs. "sleep good?"

"so good," she hums, turning on her side to face him. "please tell me you're not eating crackers in our bed."

"m'eating them on my side," he says. "want one?"

"no." she tries to suppress a yawn, arms coming up over her head to stretch. "c'mon. we've got dinner. make sure there's not a single crumb in these sheets."

the two share the bathroom as they get ready together. lynn braids her knotty hair away from her face while she watches with jealousy as harry does nothing but push a pair of sunglasses into his. when it's time to change, he graciously gives her the bathroom, and waits for her to invite him back in.

he comes in wearing a pair of khaki pants with a blue shirt tucked into them, and lynn feels incredibly underdressed. he always looked so proper and pulled together when they had something to do, meanwhile she always looked like she grabbed the first thing she could reach in her closet and didn’t have enough time to check herself in the mirror before leaving.

she had chosen a yellow sundress tonight. she thought it was cute and flowy when she had bought it a year ago, but now she can't help but think that the way some of the fabric stretches around her body has her resembling what she would assume a freshly plucked big bird would look like after working a grueling twelve hour shift in a sesame street high rise.

lynn's stepping back, fingers smoothing down the fabric when she catches harry's eyes in the mirror. he's got a mouth full of toothpaste and his face is pulled together. "y'look beautiful, lynn," he mumbles around his tooth brush. "always do."

she's not really convinced, but her cheeks warm nonetheless, and she pulls her eyes away from harry's before offering him a smile and the sincerest of thank yous.

lynn moves to the living room to wait for harry to finish up and spends the entire ten minutes debating if she should change. she loves the dress, and really, if she were wearing it anywhere but here, there would be no second thoughts about it. lynn just knew that whatever kathleen had to say about it would be forever etched in her brain and the dress would probably find its way into a goodwill pile when she got back.

harry joins her changed out of his perfect outfit. he's wearing a pair of shorter black shorts and the yellow button up he was wearing the other day instead.

lynn isn't really sure what to say or if she should say anything at all, but he only smiles at her before slipping his shoes on and asking if she's ready to go.

"why'd you'd change?" she caves when they're inside the restaurant.

he shrugs. "thought we could match. i don't know. i felt over dressed in what i had on."

she hums in response, and harry wraps his arm around her waist as they get closer to her family's table. she feels his fingers pinch the fabric at her waist, and then, "plus you look like sunshine in this dress. it would've been a crime to ask you to match my blue."

"oh, knock it off," she bumps her hip into his. "you're so corny today."

lynn expects him to knock her back with double the force, just like he did the first day she met him. instead, he only tugs her closer to him, muttering something about just how serious he is against the shell of her ear before pulling her chair out for her at the table.

"new dress?" kathleen speaks, and the way she's look at lynn makes her stomach twist.

harry only hums, fingers squeezing her shoulders as he stands behind her. "looks absolutely gorgeous, doesn't she, ms. kathy?"

aunt cece coos at the pair, pinching lynn's knee under the white tablecloth, and harry's got his lips pressed against her temple, ignoring jane's pleas begging him to sit next to her from the other end of the table. instead, he asks amelia to switch with him so he can sit with lynn, and the girl is more than happy to, considering that all lynn seems to do is piss her off with nothing but her presence. 

aunt cece starts up a conversation with the two, but lynn only keeps herself involved with perfectly timed hums of acknowledgement while harry does all of the talking. she felt bad, but all she could think about was the fact that the boy that reminds her of sunshine happens to think the same about her in her new favorite dress.

26 JULY 2018

lynn’s sitting next to harry in a lounger while her sisters play mermaids in the pool. usually, amelia would do absolutely anything to get out of the game, but it was jane’s birthday and it happened to be her only ask. lynn would have definitely offered to relieve her sister of her duties, but jane currently had amelia sitting on the ledge of the pool while she threw a ball at her, calling it mermaid hunting.

so instead, lynn happily sits with a book in one hand while her other hand lightly traces every line and crease on the back of harry’s, only picking up her finger when it’s time to turn the page. she started doing it just to annoy him, but harry didn’t seem to care. he only reclined his lounger a little and moved his hand to rest on lynn’s so she didn’t have to reach across them. 

lynn woke up this morning with harry’s face pressed against the crook of her neck and his palm resting against her abdomen. she’ll blame the next part on the fact that she was still half asleep, but she laid there with her eyes closed, soaking up every second of their closeness before harry woke up and gently pulled himself from her. she thought about mentioning the whole thing over their morning coffee, but she didn’t want him to think she was crazy for letting it happen and more importantly, she didn’t want to ruin the chances of that ever happening again.

she was touch deprived. sue her.

“do you want kids someday?” harry asks. he’s got his free arm over his forehead, blocking the sun from his eyes as he looks at lynn.

“probably not,” lynn answers honestly. “i’ve got these two.”

“but you don’t want any of your own?”

lynn pauses for a second before answering, letting her book fall against her chest. it wasn’t that she didn’t want kids of her own because there is definitely a small piece of her that sometimes daydreams of white picket fences and tiny hand prints on glass doors, but that small sliver is overshadowed by the overwhelming fear of not being good enough. she doesn’t really know how to say i’m scared i’ll never learn to love my children the same way my mother never loved me without ruining their sunny pool day.

so, instead she settles for a, “it’s not really important to me. what about you?”

harry shrugs. “dunno. i’ve never really thought about it until now. i think i’m still too young.”

lynn can’t help but laugh at him for saying he feels too young. nearing thirty had her feeling everything but that, and it was crazy how harry felt the opposite. 

he tilts his head to the side as she laughs, and lynn’s about to ask why he’s got that look on his face, but the ball jane has been throwing interrupts them, hitting harry right in the mouth.

“oh fuck,” harry curses under his breath.

"jane!" lynn sits up straight, practically screaming at the little girl. "you have got to be careful."

"it's okay, lynn,” harry’s words are muffled by his hand. “really, i’m fine.”

"what do you say to him?" her jaw is clenched and her fists are balled so tightly in her lap. if she were to open them, there’d be little moon indentations on the bottoms of her palms.

"i'm sorry, harry,” jane looks away when her voice wobbles. “i didn't mean to."

"i know, sunflower. it was an accident, wasn't it?" harry speaks so softly as he gently rolls the ball back to the little girl. lynn can’t understand how he wasn’t absolutely seething.

jane nods as her tears spill over and harry’s quick to tell her not to worry about it. accidents happen.

"let me see," her attention moves to harry, catching the crimson trail that started to flow down his chin. "oh, harry. let me clean that for you.”

she doesn’t give him time to respond before pulling him up by his elbow. lynn makes amelia swear to not let jane out of her sight before she leads harry all the way back to their condo. he sits on the arm of the chair in the living room and waits while lynn retrieves a rag and an ice cube from the freezer.

"i'm so sorry, harry," lynn's voice is soft, just like her touch is when her fingers brush under his chin, tilting it up to get a better look at his lip. 

“you didn’t have to yell at her like that, you know?” and she knew harry was right. the contrast between her tone with jane and her tone now was like night and day. she knew it was an accident, but she was nervous that harry would be upset with her for not scolding her sisters when they did something wrong.

harry winces when she adds a bit of pressure to the cut, and when lynn feels him move away from her, she has to blink back the tears that are threatening to spill over.

the last time she was here, lynn had brought her ex boyfriend. their relationship has already been hanging on by a thread, and she thought that a romantic beach getaway was exactly what they needed to save it.

and it worked for the first half of the trip. he was so affectionate towards her. so gentle. lynn felt so loved, and so incredibly safe.

then amelia spilled a cup of water on his lap, and he screamed at her in a way that had his chest heaving and face turning red. he was so upset with her and with lynn. the whole trip was ruined and lynn went to sleep nearly every night with a raspy voice and a raw throat from hours of consoling amelia and crying so hard she couldn't breathe.

"hey," he pulls on her waist, bringing her to sit on his knees. "i didn’t mean it like that. what's got you so worked up over this, hm?"

"i'm not worked up."

"lynn," harry's hand covers her own, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles as she keeps the ice pressed against his lip. "you're all teary eyed and you're breathing funny."

"you're bleeding, harry. i don't know how you're not raging."

"it was an accident," his hands move to wrap around her middle. "and she's six. i wouldn't really care if she did it on purpose either."

"yeah? you promise?"

"i promise, lynn." he's looking at her with such sincerity on his face, it makes her shoulders fall with relief.

“i guess i was just scared that you’d yell at her,” she admits. “i knew she’d take it better from me.”

“i didn’t know you thought so low of me.” she can’t tell if he’s being serious or only joking with her, but she can’t stop the corners of her mouth from turning upwards. that would have been low of him, and she’s glad he agrees. 

“forgive me,” she decides to turn it into the latter, a teasing smile on her face. “how can i ever make it up to you?”

"hm,” he bends his finger, signaling for her to lean closer. "maybe a kiss."

lynn quickly decides she doesn't want to point out the fact that her family was nowhere near them. they were alone, and knowing that made her want to kiss him even more. maybe a little part of her wished it was real.

so, she gives in, pressing her lips gently to the corner of his mouth. "feel better?"

"i think the doctor prescribed two.”

"you're pushing it, styles.”

"i know," the pad of his thumb ghosts over her lips. "just missing your mouth."

the words make her stomach turn in way that has her leaning down to kiss him again in hopes of hearing them again. lynn can’t help but wish harry’s lip wasn’t bleeding because she’d definitely let him explore every inch of her mouth with his own.

what had gotten into her?

"consider me healed,” he hums.

"you are," she swipes the ruined rag across his lip one more time for good measure. "no more bleeding."

✮✮✮

"this is so unfair to her," harry feels lynn's words against his shoulder. when he turns to look at her, she's got her eyes focused on jane who's messily eating the chocolate cake he had spent hours decorating to resemble a sunflower.

when he placed the cake in front of her, a huge grin spread across her face, and harry was certain her eyes were glowing brighter than the six candles placed in the center. she pressed her palms to her cheeks, and an excited squeal left her mouth, followed by a hundred 'i love it and i love you's.

"what is?"

"this," her hand moves between them. "us. she loves you, harry."

"everyone loves me," he jokes, but the way lynn's looking at him lets him know that she's not in a joking mood after all.

it’s no secret that harry has an incredibly hard time reading lynn. he failed calculus twice in college, but the course was a thousand times easier than figuring out just how she was feeling inside. she was normally cool and put together, only letting harry see through the cracks of the walls she had built up when everything became a little too much for her to handle.

being here must be hard for her because she lets him see more and more of her everyday. the lynn he met two months ago wouldn't have sat on his lap and cried because his lip was bleeding. no, she would've told him to grow the fuck up and take care of it himself.

now she's sharing an oversized chair with him, knees draped over his. her eyes are misty, and the corners of her mouth are turned upwards into a watery smile as she watches her family from across the patio. he felt so fucking terrible for her.

"i'm not going to be able to walk away from them the way you think i am," his voice is quiet, and he's rubbing soothing circles on her knee. "you shouldn't be worrying about things so far in the future anyway."

"we never talked about any of this stuff, harry," the intensity of her voice matches his, but it’s laced with urgency. almost like the thought of so many unanswered questions has her on the verge of panicking. "when are we going to break up? why are we even going to? how? what's going to happen when jane-"

"blondie, take a breath," he reaches to smooth her hair away from her face, thumbs stretching to wipe away the overflowing tears under her eyes. "we can decide all of that later. why don't we just have fun now?"

"because this is just going to hurt the two people i care about most."

"we'll stay friends," harry decides. "i'll say i realized i'm only attracted to men, and you can get all of the brownie points that come with loving me and supporting me through all of that."

"you're not just going to walk away when all of this is over?"

"of course not," and he wouldn’t dream of it, but he can’t help but think about the fact that if she were to have asked him a month ago, his answer would've been completely different. he's not sure exactly what changed, but harry would be more than a little sad if he never saw lynn again.

"good," she rests her forehead against his shoulder. "i don't think i could handle you going. i care about you too much."

"is that the four dirty martinis from dinner talking?"

"probably, but it’s true," she looks up at him, a smug smile growing on her face. "they’re also telling me that it would be a fantastic idea to have a little kiss right here in front of everyone.”

"oh, we most definitely can’t say no to that, can we?"

nearly every time they've kissed, they've simply just gone for it. maybe they'd warm up with a peck here and touch there, but within a matter of seconds, harry was sucking on lynn's lips like his life depended on it. to be honest, he really couldn't help it. her mouth was always so sweet.

this kiss was different though. lynn had leaned in to him, her fingers pressing into the back of neck to get him close enough to feel her exhales fanning across his mouth.

she stopped there though, not daring to move a centimeter closer for a moment. her eyes fell to his lips before slowly trailing back up to meet his eyes, and then she giggled in a way that sounded so light and happy, harry felt it deep in his stomach.

her lips brushed against his delicately, and he wasn't really sure if they were even there. 

"blondie-"

"you've got a bad lip, harry," and then there was another soft kiss. "gotta be gentle."

harry had every intention of listening to her because she was right. the last thing he wanted was for his stupid busted lip to start bleeding and ruin all of their fun. he thought that maybe they'd share a few short kisses and then join the rest of her family before going to bed for the night.

and that is exactly how it starts. there's a lazy kiss, and then two, and then lynn's pulling away to meet harry's eyes before wrapping both her arms around his neck. he's leaning against her with one arm wrapped around her waist and the other pushing deep into the arm of the chair to support all of their weight.

their kisses are long and eager, and he can feel the warmth from the pit in his stomach travel all the way up through his chest and out to his finger tips with each one. his palms are way too sweaty and it feels like his heart’s beating fast enough to push him through the last four hundred meters of a marathon. god, it's been forever since someone's made him feel this way.

the whole scene is definitely far too inappropriate to be occurring in front of lynn's entire family, but he can't seem to stop and neither can she. she's even greedy with it. every time harry pulls away to catch some air, she immediately follows, bringing his lips back to hers. her kisses are messy and frantic, but harry doesn't think he's ever had someone be so soft and easy with him in his entire life. 

lynn breaks the kiss, but she keeps her forehead pressed against harry's, holding him against her like she’s scared he’ll run away. she keeps her eyes closed for a second, and harry shamelessly uses it to let his eyes sweep across her face. her lips are red and messy and kissed, and her cheeks are flushed and pink, matching the warmth radiating from her body. 

with a heavy breath, she looks up at him with her big, blue eyes, and the sight would definitely have harry collapsing at his knees if he were standing up right. he can feel the way her chest heaves against his own. the way her fingers slide from his neck to his shoulders. the little puffs of air that come from her when she giggles again. he was so fucked.

“fun, wasn’t it?”

"lynn," it's breathy. he really isn't sure how to word it, so he pauses for a moment, scanning her face for any indication that what’s sitting on the tip of his tongue will ruin the relationship they worked so hard on building. "i-"

"there's the birthday girl," both of their heads shoot up to see silas standing near the staircase to the patio with a duffle bag at his feet and a stack of neatly wrapped presents in his hand.

lynn jumps up to greet him, and silas rushes to her in a manner that seems a little more than friendly. he wraps his free arm around lynn's waist just like harry had been doing seconds prior, and lifts her off her feet to spin her in a circle.

"and my favorite girl," his voice is low and meant for only lynn to hear, but the words fall on harry’s ears, too.

harry watches as lynn grins and wraps herself around silas's arm before dragging him to the rest of her family. jane squeals, her sunflower cake long forgotten just like harry was in the garden chair. the entire family crowds around silas, hugging him and kissing his cheeks, and harry knew that no matter how many times lynn curled up in his lap with tears welling up in her eyes, he would never be able to compare to silas. 

✰✰✰✰✰

a/n: okaaay all reformatted :D part five will be posted sunday! (maybe monday)

[theghostofashton]

wip wednesday

His new roommate doesn’t seem to like him very much.

It’s only been a few weeks since move-in day, but the one-word answers and lasting stares that TK can only classify as ‘judgmental’ have told him all he needs to know. The guy’s definitely a little uptight, super rigid about when he leaves for class and what time he wants the lights to be turned out each night. TK asked him to leave them on an extra few minutes the other day, and he swore he heard the beginnings of an exasperated sigh.

Okay, so maybe he procrastinated reading for class until after midnight, and maybe Carlos has an early class the next day, but he thought he was done being criticized for his poor decisions the day he moved out of his parents’ houses. If someone had told him he was signing up to get judged by his damn roommate, of all people, TK would’ve requested a single.

It doesn’t help that the guy is gorgeous, either. Messy tousled curls and these deep brown eyes that make something in TK melt every time Carlos looks at him. The moments where he has every intention of standing his ground, insisting that it’s his room too and he should get a say in when the lights go off every night, and all Carlos does is lay eyes on him and suddenly TK is fumbling over the words and not saying much of anything at all.

And it’s not like Carlos has ever said anything shitty or gone out of his way to be an asshole. TK’s definitely woken him up at 3am, barging into their room with zero consideration for the fact that he has a roommate, a sleeping roommate at that. There was one night he fell asleep without even taking his shoes off, and when he woke up the next morning, they’d been removed from his feet and placed neatly beside his bed. There was even a bottle of water and a couple Advil on his bedside table. Although that’s probably less Carlos actually caring about him and more Carlos making sure his roommate doesn’t like, die, less than a month into them moving in. That’d probably suck to deal with.

He didn’t have actual expectations for his roommate, and he definitely wasn’t buying in to all the myths about becoming best friends with him and taking on the next four years together, but Carlos is really not what TK imagined.

Over the past couple weeks, TK’s made friends with the people on their floor – including Grace Ryder, who is surprisingly chill for an RA – joined the Queer Union and a couple other clubs, and been invited to multiple frat parties. He’s almost never in their room on Friday and Saturday nights, and he usually spends his Sundays in bed trying to muscle through the hangovers. He’s invited Carlos out with him a couple times, but always been turned down. At first, he figured maybe the guy just isn’t the frat party type. Marjan from down the hall is like that, but she’s also in the Queer Union with him and she was talking about some event at the Muslim Student Association a couple days ago.

Carlos hasn’t talked about any clubs, even some of the book-ish ones, which is weird, because he’s always reading. His desk is piled high with stacks of paperbacks and he always seems to have his head buried in one whenever TK returns to their room. It was no surprise to learn he’s an English major, so TK can’t figure out why he wouldn’t want to get together with some of the other ones at NYU and talk about that.  

They’re just different people, is what TK’s landed on. Carlos is just the guy he has to share this shoebox with for the next nine months, and as long as he doesn’t voice any of his obvious issues with TK, they should be just fine.

[6okuto]

BRUH I REALLY WISH I DIDNT ASK FOR MICAH YUJIN IN ANON FKDNXKDNXK Okay anyways HIII I USED TO BE AN ANON HERE BUT NOW I HAVE AN ACC HAHA FEAR ME /j...unLESS-- OK ANYWAYS pls share that discord u talked abt!!! i wanna joinnnnn AND ALSO A PART 2 FOR MICAH OUR KING????? YES P L E A S E

— micah yujin boyfriend hcs 2

don't worry guys this one was not as long. (part 1 here !) also wow. a past anon..wow. heyy 😍 and the discord link is on the official itch.io page i think but !!

https://discord.gg/Smhppc7J :]

always sends you funny posts/videos he finds and makes sure to react to each one you send Him

^ has and will continue to send you videos where the 12 year old kid is matching initials as soulmates and you show up.

sends you pics of skrunkly (and him) basically on a daily basis. always captions it something stupid (/affectionate)

^ combining these two to discuss cat trends that you keep sending him so he goes OH THAT'S A GOOD IDEA

micah loves doing chores with you!! grocery shopping, Laundry And Taxes, etc etc. #QUALITYTIME i get it. you might not be Quick with him around but it's fun so i consider it a win

^ wants to try cooking new meals with you, especially any of your own cultural food ! if you can't cook then he Will offer to teach you

if you give him any jewelry he won't take it off (said by girl who does the same thing)

do(n't) play co-op horror games with him. will go in guns blazing then start yelling and running to you when he inevitably gets in trouble. actually pretty good when he tries but he doesn't try so what do we do now🤨

^ if you're playing a competitive team game and he's on your team,, there's a good chance micah will Sacrifice Himself very dramatically. if you sacrifice yourself he swears on your life to avenge you

would be very much (sends random text at 3am) (you respond) (wow i cant believe you're Awake?)

you must have a build-a-bear date. it is Necessary. personally i'd get sonic and tails together but you guys do you?

trying to get up in the morning w this guy...one of you is definitely not letting go and repeatedly asking for 5 more minutes until you're inevitably in bed for another hour

there's multiple times where you come home and find him hugging something of yours fast asleep. sorry. i am so sad

shakes you violently. do his makeup. sit on his lap and do his makeup. make him sit somewhere and stand in between his legs and do his makeup. do it . do i

micah is very good at knowing when he should be serious . if he knows you've had a bad day he does everything he can to make you comfortable and remind you he loves you — snacks, cuddles, watching the show you guys always watch, rambling so you can just listen, bringing skrunkly over, etc etc o(-(

currently imagining someone performing on the street, micah bowing and offering a hand, and saying "would you offer me this dance, your highness?" like i will burst into tears rn

i think when he hears an animal he repeats the sound. sorry this isn't boyfriend specific but like a bird cawing and him cawing back. meows at stray cats. you stopped walking 3 minutes ago and micah is still crouching on the ground trying to get its attention

he was not kidding about the maid dress thing. the Real trick is to show up in a matching maid dress/butler outfit. is micah frozen in place staring at you,, maybe

you know those stuffy riders. the mall animal rides. i'm not even going to finish this thought you know what you need to do.

grabs your shoulders and says smth like you're my ride or die before going on big carnival rides. like..thank you. makes some kind of competition out of it (who screams the most/least, etc etc)

^ makes little jokes about those couples in lines but would be that couple with you. "we're the exception, obviously."

have you seen that guy's abs. anyways. micah doing the push up kiss thing. you cheering him on because he "gets way stronger" when he knows his angel is there

if you dye your hair to match his/skrunkly he will explode. might cry a little idk

doesn't realize it sometimes but he stands in front of you to block the sun when it's super sunny

if you hurt yourself he kisses wherever it is. goodnight

bites u /affectionate

not to act like some old married couple or anything but he Will ask if you want to watch like, home renovation shows together. which i love btw. he gets very opinionated

uses the reversible octopus plushies

if you're sitting next to each other and micah notices you're tired he'll wordlessly pull your head to lay against his shoulder

would use one of those apps where you can send each other notes/drawings as a widget. will he write a cheesy pun or draw a penis That Is Not Up To Me

[m4tthewmurd0ck]

𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐧 ~ 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐱 (𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞) 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

【 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 】

click *HERE* to be taken to the table of contents!

word count: 2k

     WHEN MATT FINALLY STUMBLES BACK TO HIS APARTMENT, THERE’S A BRIEF MOMENT OF PANIC. He can hear someone breathing inside, and tries to mentally prepare himself for the worst as he slowly turns the keys in the lock. But once he steps foot inside, he lets out a sigh of relief.

He’d know your heartbeat anywhere.

Walking as quietly as he can, Matt heads to the kitchen to grab a garbage bag before going into the bathroom and making sure to lock the door. Once inside, he quickly takes off his clothes and stuffs them into the bag, shoving it under the sink.

As he takes a shower, his body is still in a lot of pain, so Matt softly scrubs as best he can, hoping that he removes all of the blood.

Once he’s out of the bathroom, he pauses again. After listening to your breathing and determining that you’re still asleep, he puts on sweatpants and a plain shirt. Walking over to the couch, he gently takes you in his arms and walks back to his bedroom, laying you down on his bed.

You’d been up until nearly 3am, doing the pre-planning for your job’s upcoming showcase. So when Foggy woke you up, you’d only gotten a couple of hours of sleep. This ended up benefitting Matt, as you barely stirred when he laid down next to you.

“Matt? What time is it?” You whisper, only opening your eyes halfway. Okay, so maybe it didn’t benefit Matt as much as he thought.

“Shh,” he pulls the sheets over you, thankful that you don’t try to sit up or wake up more. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you, but get some rest, please? I promise we’ll talk when you wake up again.”

You’re still beyond exhausted, and mostly still asleep, so you simply smile and nod before drifting off again, fast asleep less than a minute later.

Around 9am, you wake up again. Still tired, but not wanting to spend all of your last day off in bed, you quickly remove the covers. Just before you’re about to stand up, Matt speaks up.

“Not awake already are you?” You turn to see him stretching, pulling himself up to a sitting position.

“It’s after nine in the morning,” you yawn. “I didn’t want to spend all day asleep. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you though. You should go back to bed.”

“Waking up in my bed twice in one week, can’t get enough of me huh?”

You roll your eyes, biting your lip to keep from smiling. “I definitely fell asleep on your couch, so I guess it’s you that can’t get enough of me, hmm? Where were you anyway? You had Foggy really worried.”

“Not you?”

“I always worry about you Matty,” he smiles, hearing the nickname you’d occasionally called him since college. “You’ve got new bruises and cuts practically every time I see you, I’m not even looking at you right now because I don’t want to know what new ones you’ve got. What, are you in some kind of secret underground fight club or something?”

He chuckled, thankful that you couldn’t hear his heartbeat. “I’m alright.”

“You really worried us you know.” You sigh again, a little tired, and pretty disappointed. Normally not one to push Matt, you’ve grown concerned. In all the time you’ve known him, he has never ignored you or Foggy like that. Even when he’d be hooking up with a girl, he’d still let at least one of you know that he would be busy and not near a phone.

The only reason you’re feeling like this about him keeping an obviously big secret, is because you know it has to be dangerous. Why is he always injured? Why is there always a new cut or bruise? And why can’t he tell you?

When Matt stays silent, you finally get you and check your phone, responding to Foggy and telling him that Matt is alright. When he asks where Matt was all night, you can only respond with the emoji of a woman shrugging, since he won’t tell you anything.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. Foggy text me a bunch of times, really worried about you. I was too, which was why I got up and came here. And I fell asleep waiting for you. You came home, we now know you’re okay, so I can go.”

“You don’t have to—”

You cut him off, throwing your hands up as if accepting defeat. “Matt something is obviously going on. I can see right now even with the lights off, you’re hurt. I don’t know where you were or how you got those injures, and you’re clearly not going to tell me. I came here to see if you were alright, and you said you were, so… goodbye.”

He wants to tell you. So badly. But once you know, you can’t un-know, and that’s what terrifies him the most. If he tells you and you decide that you want nothing to do with him, he doesn’t know what he would do. But the disappointment and frustration are evident in your voice, so much so that he almost blurts it out. And he can hear you in the living room grabbing your purse, and slipping your shoes back on.

Ignoring the pain, Matt forces himself out of bed and walks to the living room. You don’t say anything, but he can tell you’re standing to the left of the couch. He calls your name softly, “I…”

“You don’t have to tell me whatever’s going on. I want you to, but the thought of telling me is clearly making you uncomfortable. But I’m not gonna sit here and act like everything is just normal and completely fine. I am gonna go though, I have a lot of shit that needs to get done.”

As you put your purse over your shoulder, you stop when you hear Matt let out a soft groan. In the light, his injuries are a lot more obvious.

“Bed.” You speak so softly, Matt hears what you said but still asks you to repeat it.

“What?”

“Go sit down on the bed,” you put your purse down once again. As upset as you are, you wouldn’t be able to concentrate at home knowing that Matt was here like… this.

Matt opens his mouth to ask why, but stays silent and simply makes his way to his bed. He doesn’t know what you’re doing, but he worries that if he says anything more, you’ll just leave.

After a minute, you emerge from the bathroom. You’d retrieved a couple of towels, and the first aid kit under his sink. You don’t even want to know what was in the garbage bag right behind it.

Holding his breath as you approach, Matt realizes what you’re doing only a second before you start. Gently using a damp towel, you begin wiping the dried blood that he’d missed last night. Just little spots on his face and arms.

He realizes how intimate this is, and even though you have no medical training, Matt now wishes that you could’ve been the one to take care of him instead of Claire.

After a few more minutes and careful inspection, you’re sure that almost all of the blood is gone.

“You have to change your shirt again. I don’t know if it’s old blood or you’re still bleeding, but there’s a little bit,” you reach your hand out and gently tap his chest, “here”.

Without thinking, Matt lifts his shirt off over his head and tosses it behind him. He feels a little desperate, knowing your plan is to go home once you’re done helping him. He holds his breath as you clean the little bits of blood on his chest, mentally scolding himself for where his thoughts are right now.

“Whatever you’re doing, just don’t get yourself killed please. I’m telling you right now that if you die doing something stupid, I’m bringing you back to life just so I can kill you myself.”

“Yes ma’am,” Matt laughs, and despite your feelings, you do too. Before he can overthink it, he puts a hand under your chin, tilting your head up and forcing you to look at him.

“Matt—”

“I’m sorry. I know I’m hurting you, and this is selfish of me.”

You laugh, and Matt is pleased to hear that sound.

“If you’re waiting for me to disagree with you…”

“I’m not, I’m not.” He leans his head down so that your foreheads are touching. “I’m really proud of you, you know that?”

“Really?” You pause, unsure of where he’s headed.

“When you talked about art the first day I met you, it was obvious how much you loved it. Knowing you still love it today, and now you’re basically running an art gallery. I think you’ll have your own someday.”

You feel yourself blushing. “I didn’t know you remembered that.”

“Of course I do. I remember that whole day. And I’m not ashamed to admit that I was glad Foggy got up for another cup of coffee, because I got a few minutes alone with you.”

“Matty, where is this headed?”

Matt takes off his glasses. “I wish I could see you right now.” A few seconds later, he leans forward again, and just before your lips connect, his phone begins to ring.

Foggy. Foggy. Foggy.

“You should get that,” you hand him his phone, “he was really worried.”

Mentally cursing Foggy for stopping what would’ve been your first kiss, he reluctantly answers.

“I’m gonna head out,” you whisper, “I really do have a lot of pre-planning for the showcase. It’s a day off but if I do this today it’ll save me a lot of time in the future.”

“Wait, please. Just until I talk to Foggy.”

Once you agree to wait, Matt picks up the phone, stepping into the living room.

When he returns a few minutes later, you stand up again, having sat down on his bed to wait.

“Do you think we could be good together?” Matt asks you. It’s sudden, and you weren’t at all expecting to hear that. It’s an incredibly selfish question, and Matt definitely knows that. But a part of him feels like he has to know your answer.

“I— I think so… but not right at this moment.”

“Why not?” He already knows the answer, but asks anyway.

“Matt,” you take his hands in yours, “you’re my best friend, and one of the best people that I know. I love you, but you have a lot going on right now. It’s clear you don’t want to share any of that, at least not with me. I don’t think it’s fair to either of us to start something when you can’t even fully be honest with me.”

He almost blurts it out again. But he’s already put Claire in danger, and she knows what he looks like. He can’t drag the only girl he loves into this. Part of him is sad that you weren’t the first person to find out. Once he started going out at night, he always imagined that you’d be the first person he told.

“Sweetheart, please I—”

“It’s okay,” although he can’t see you, Matt knows you have a small frown on your face. “I’m not saying I’m going to cut you out of my life, I don’t think I could handle that. But we can’t be… at least not now.”

When you hug goodbye before finally heading back to your apartment, it feels different. And once you leave, Matt lays back down, willing the tears to go away.

His life is so fucked up. And when he thinks of finally trying to make a move with you, all he thinks of is how selfish he is. How could he ask you to be with him right now, with everything going on in his life?

As he lays there, unable to fall asleep, he begins to daydream.

He thinks of a life with you. A life where you and him could be.

i’ve had people asked to be tagged in matt things but i’m not sure if they meant only things from my 200 followers challenge. if you’d like to be tagged in this series, let me know via my ask! you can mention the title of the story, or a character name if you’d like to be tagged in everything written for them :)

[levixreader]

Dad!Levi x Mum!Reader - It's Just a Hobby

Charlotte: French name meaning freedom Summary: You woke up alarmed at the metallic shriek echoing in your room. Your angry husband sat a the far end of the room... sharpening his blades?... at three in the morning? Oh God, what did Charlotte do this time.

Warning: Pure fluffiness, Levi deserves happiness ;v;

Inspired by @cakeswashere prompt:

Y/N: are you angry? or...

Levi: no.

Y/N: so sharpening your blades at 3am is just a hobby then?

Daughter of Mine(Chapter I)| Master List|Requests| Next Chapter

It's Just a Hobby

Sheeeeeeek

It was a sharp, almost metallic in nature shriek. You tossed in your sleep, your brain still half unconscious.

Had you imagined it?

It sounded familiar. Where you having another dream of your time at the Corps?

All this talk about Charlotte joining the military was definitely not doing you any favours. It was scratching at the back of your head the obscure memories you kept hidden away. Ever since you had pushed Levi into taking her to work, every night, without fail, the deformed hands of your demons came to grab you at night.

Yesterday Levi had shaken you awake. You were sweating in your sleep, haunted by the last expression of your friends, of your family. Some nights, your dreams were so vivid that you were convinced that the life you had now was… imagined.

How had Charlotte convinced you that it was a good idea to join? Ah, yes, her unwavering spirit. Stubborn and passionate to the core, just like her father. Erwin had earned Levi and his constant devotion to the cause had earned Charlotte.

Truly, she had worn you down. She would talk as if she had been in the military for as long as she was alive. She had convinced every single one of her friends to join. Of course, she had worn you down. Children, you had discovered, had a way to make you feel like you could endure anything as long as it made them happy. Even if that meant spinning directly into a titan’s jaws. You shivered. Tonight, marked the beginning of winter and with it the fast approach of harsh months.

How could you selfishly stand in her way? She was the carbon copy of your husband, down to his unhuman like traits. She was fast and strong, but that didn’t make her cocky, it made her aware of just how far she could go. So when she had implored you to let her join the military… You caved because you knew your daughter, nothing you could say, not even the hellish nightmares you conjured now, would deter her from joining.

Levi could though. You didn’t have the heart or the will power to stand against her, she was, after all, a force of nature like Levi. So, it made sense that he could and did stand against her. So firmly opposed that he would rather sacrifice his relationship with her than watch her wear forest green.

I would never want to feel responsible if something were to happen to you.

His words had rung deep within you. Levi was strong, the strongest in fact. He had carried with his best friend’s death, carried the guilt of every death, carried the title of strongest, but, he could never carry the responsibility of the death of his only child.

Your heart ached. For months now, you had tried to convince yourself that you already waited with your heart of your throat every time Levi sat you down at the kitchen table to tell you there would be a new excursion. You could do the same with Charlotte. Right?

It was different. You knew it was different. You were all too aware of it. So, you settled. Settled to be thankful that where you lack the willpower, Levi could. Maybe, you had thought, that having her shadow Levi for a couple of days would show her a glimpse into a world she could never have thought of. You hadn’t. Not even Levi, who lived in the underground, had.

Sheeeeeek

You shot up. Straight up.

That had been the sound of a knife getting sharpened.

In a panic, your eyes scanned the room, your hand already reaching for your bedside table, inching into the drawer on the hidden weapon inside. You could feel your heart lodged in your trachea. All you could think was of your daughter and how to get to her as quick as possible. But, then, your eyes landed at the corner at the far back. It was Levi, seated in the leather chair he liked so much.

Relief, ice-cold relief washed over your stiffened body. Instantly, you relaxed at the sight of the familiar presence. Your heart unable to dislodge from your throat, the exhaustion weighing down at your body once again.

What the hell was he doing?

Shreeeeeeek

You felt a new wave of alertness wash over you. Something glimmered, you squinted, your tiered eyes fell to his lap.

There was a blade.

Shreeeeeeek

He was sharpening his blades.

He was sharpening his blades.

He was sharpening his blades at three in the morning.

Oh, God.

Shreeeeeeek

Cried the sound of metal. He was hunched in the chair, hadn’t bothered taking off his uniform, or boots for that matter. His right leg on top of his left thigh. One of his blades rested across his lap. You sat there watching as he expertly manoeuvred the blade making it glimmer even in the darkest of nights.

Something was bothering him.

You sighed, the adrenalin leaving your body. It had been a minute since you last felt it course through your body like earlier. You had genuinely thought that there had been an intruder in the house. You were a light sleeper, years retired from the military could never kill that habit. It had saved you more than once.

You wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep until you untangled whatever Levi’s brain was scrambling. It was Charlotte, you were sure of it. After the little incident at the beginning of the week, she had somehow squeezed a promise to not react like he did that day. How she did it you would never know. It took years -years- to get him to not impulsively confront any man that would even slightly look at you the wrong way. You were certain that something must have happened again and the frustration of being powerless had him sitting, sharpening his disposable blades at such an ungodly hour.

This was it. The time had come to have “The Talk” with Levi. You had been preparing for this ever since Charlotte turned sixteen. You had already noticed the attention she garnered whenever she accompanied you to the market. How some of her oldest male friends would stare a second too long. It was bound to happen eventually. You had prepared for it, Levi… not so much.

“Morning”, you said the bedsheets still pooled at your waist. Even with the window closed, you could feel the cold air prickling your skin, like small needles. He frowned, not really expecting you to wake up. He had already spent an hour on his other blades, this was his last one. “How was work today?”, you insisted. He grunted. He at least acknowledged you. He wasn’t feeling all that talkative at the moment.

Shreeeeeek

The sound of the metal echoing across the room. This man was impossible. Like father, like daughter, two stubborn mules unwilling to bend or move in their convictions. You were convinced that when God created stubbornness, Levi was first in line, closely followed by Charlotte.

“Somethings never change”, you thought shaking you head slightly. Unceremoniously, you yanked the sheets from your lower body. You shivered, the cold air now attacking your legs. Levi’s face remained turned down, his eyes, however, sneaked a peek at you. He had heard you move. You were, to his dismay, heading towards his direction. He noticed the hair of your forearms standing to attention. You were cold. He clicked his tongue; he wasn’t ready to go to bed, anger still bubbling at his feet. He frowned, returning his attention at the weapon in his hand.

Shreeeeeeek

“Are are you angry?”, he heard you ask softly. No answer. You grouched in front of his legs so that your face was in his direct eyesight. He gripped the handle of the blade, his eyes moving to observe the end of it. He was avoiding you. “no.”, he curtly answered. He looked stoic. “Stubborn, stubborn man”, you thought. You placed a numbed hand on his twisted knee. His eyebrows knitted together refusing to look at you, opting to look at your hand. You looked paler than usual.

Did she have another nightmare?

You smiled amused, “So sharpening your blades at three in the morning is just a hobby then?”, you asked sarcastically. His frown deepened, he didn’t answer. “Tell me what’s bothering you”, you pushed, the tips of your fingers going a bit numb. He sighed knowing you weren’t going to let this go and if needed would freeze half to death until he talked. “And you think Charlotte is stubborn because of me”, he thought. Charlotte, he frowned again the anger bubbling up again.

“Is it Charlotte?”, you asked, even softer than before. You gripped his knee in reassurance. He sighed again, of course, you would know exactly what was bothering him. He couldn’t hide anymore. “I can’t believe she is sixteen”, you said truthfully.

Sixteen years went by like nothing, one day she was too small to even reach the kitchen counter and the next she had a queue of boys lined up. “Fucking hormonal teenagers”, he thought to himself glaring down at the polished blade. He wanted to break the thing in two.

“Our brat is an adult now”, you said giggling pulling him again out of his thoughts. His eyes lifted slightly to look at you, clearly disagreeing with your opinion. Charlotte wasn’t an adult; she was just a brattier brat. “Did one of the cadets flirt with her again?”, you asked smiling sympathetically. His eyes widened and immediately narrowed to the point you thought he had closed his eyes. His jaw clenched, his grip on the weapon made his knuckles turn white.

“A boy”, he corrected. You smiled sadly at his words. “You know she is at that age”, you said earning you a glare. “You know I’m right”, you insisted. He clicked his tongue. You were right. That doesn’t mean he had to voice it. “I know this is very hard for you”, you continued, he looked pained. It had taken everything in him today to not march and punch the titan shifter straight in the face. He knew the look he was giving Charlotte; it was the same look he had given you. He felt his chest burn.

His eyes looked pained, the cold controlled captain melting away. You wanted to hug him, console him and tell him that his baby was still just that: a baby. That Charlotte would not grow up and that she would always call him ‘Daddy’. But this would only hurt him more and would do Charlotte a disservice as her mother.

“Here”, you said standing up offering a hand for him to take. He looked at your hand, eyebrow cocked upwards with curiosity. You rolled your eyes, “Well, take it”, you insisted shaking your hand. Cautiously, he placed his free hand on yours. His eyes narrowing when he felt how cold your fingers felt. In a quick movement, he rested the sharpened blade against the nearest wall and grabbed with both his hands the hand you had offered. “You’re cold”, he commented, making you roll your eyes again at him. “Well hurry up then”, you answered pulling him up. He pouted, finally complying with your request.

You pulled him out of the room towards the hallway in front of Charlotte’s room. His frown returned, “What are we doing here”, he asked, not appreciating the surprise. “Shh”, you said tightening your hold on his hand. As carefully as you could you opened the door to your daughter’s room. She looked tranquil, completely at ease. “Look”, you whispered moving out of the way. Reluctantly, he peaked into Charlotte’s room. His eyes softened and his chest, previously burning with anger, filled with warmth. She looked like a child hugging her favourite stuffed animal. “She isn’t quite an adult yet”, you whispered, “not because some boy is flirting with her means she stopped growing”.

He sighed closing the door just as carefully as you had opened it.

“Let’s have another one”, he said turning to look at you straight to your eyes. “What?”, you said in complete shock. “Let’s have another one”, he repeated closing the gap between the both of you. “What?”, you repeated louder, his hands grabbing your hips. “I said”, he whispered pulling you towards him, “Let’s”, you heard him next to your ear, “have”, you felt his breath on your neck, his nose caressing the base of your neck, “another one”. His teeth dug into your soft skin.

[imherebabycakes]

DonnieXfemreader

SHEABUTTABABY

🍯🍫pt 2

fyi: I am currently just typing on my phone I haven’t yet switched to my laptop to write. Im writing just for fun I’m not the best at punctuations so bear with me.

im giving our leading lady a name But you guys can definitely yourselves in its place.

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

BLAZE MARIE’S pov:

4|1/2 hours earlier:

just getting back to New York from dc, i celebrated the 3rd annual “moechella” concert/movement. you honestly have to be from DC to understand what it for & about, or you could just google it lol .

feeling tired i headed to my new luxury apartment in Brooklyn courtesy of my favorite uncle who pays half my rent who just so happens to be the richest person in the family well at least on my mom side. finally home i immediately throw my duffle bag down at the front door then locking it after. my place was in complete darkness & a little cold just how I liked it , so I took a nap not only because I was tired but later on Im meeting my home girls to go to a new club called the double take in manhattan, which I was kind of reluctant to go because nothing is usually lit around there for my liking.

……….

A few hours later the time now being 9pm & my bff Kamaree told me to meet her & the others at club. already showered,shaved,and hair in a sleek low bun I still don’t know what to wear & by now the bed was covered with different outfit choices of shoes,clothes & purses , yet nothing came to mind. 

though I have an hourglass shape I’m definitely on the thicker side , a couple of love handles over here and I definitely have a belly pudge, and don’t get me started on the cellulite at the back of my thighs. *ugh* i hate it. but anyways I’m still a baddie, because my personality is fire and the face card never declines oh and I have ass for days…..

I finally decided on a simple but sexy little silk black dress with a slit on the side along with some black stiletto like wedges, while putting my favorite red lipstick on *ruby woo* i remembered that I had to bring some protection with me, walking back towards the bed kneeling down to reach underneath a little until i felt what I was looking for . pulling out the black case that encloses my Glock10mm. i bring this baby almost everywhere i can legally thanks to me being a veteran it definitely has its perks. I quickly put it in my sexy lace garter holster, making sure it blends in perfectly with no bulky ness in place I quickly head back to The bathroom to lay my edges and just as I’m finishing up kamaree calls me.

kamaree : 🗣 girl where are you!! come yo ass on, im not standing in nobody’s line even if it is ladies night.

me: ight, ight im omw now you ain’t gotta yell. gaahleee lol

I grabbed my keys,a little clutch purse , a palm sized wallet that inclosed my id credit/debit cards and a $20 bill, A quick look in the mirror and I was out the door. I walked out the building towards an old ass 1999 Nissan Ultima, I only kept it for sentimental values because this was my granddad’s car and he recently passed away this year and he left it to me…..

(15-20 minute passes by she gets to the club sees her other friends & they basically party the night away) 

The time was 3am & I was a little tipsy but not drunk I knew where I was at and where I was going,  my friends offered to walk me to my car but I insisted that I was OK and I had my “mousekatool” with me.

walking to my car I got my keys ready to unlock the door, coming up on the car I inserted the key and pull the handle, no good,

*ugh this stupid door*

i hate it when it jammed, I remember the trick my granddad taught me to open the door but me being a little tipsy I guess I didn’t have the strength to do it 

 unbeknownst to me two men were standing a block over watching the whole thing, and I guess to them I looked like an easy target , I could honestly see why I definitely wasn’t aware of my surroundings and what I had on didn’t make it any better nor was i fully sober. I finally got the door to pop open & just when it did masked men abruptly came behind me and ask for money & all my belongings, when I turned around there were two of them and they both had big ass knives.

thinking quickly and my adrenaline pumping, i acted like a helpless damsel in distress,

oh please don’t hurt me”

please take what you want”

as soon as I seen they were letting their guard down a little after taking my purse and keys

i quickly sprung my gun from my upper thigh holster took the safety off and yelled

GET THE FUCK BACK!!! , & DROP THE FUCKING KNIVES BEFORE I START BLASTING DICKS OFF…..

their eyes went wide as if they’d just seen a ghost they immediately put their hands up and did what was told….

and drop my keys and purse too bitches.

almost immediately after doing so the cowards took off running. 

and good thing too because I immediately fell to my knees and took a few deep breath‘s.  realizing what could’ve happened had I not had my protection.

just as I’m gathering myself , getting my keys,purse & wallet, i hear someone say proudly with glee

“YOU GO GIRL”

standing to my feet fast I yell

WHO’S THERE?….,,, CU….,CUZ NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR GAMES MOTHER FUCKER!!

another voice says in a smugg tone

“Damn idk if im scared or turned”

gun still out & ready i step back so that my back can be on my car for cover…i say….

Look I don’t have anything for you, im just trying to get home…please just leave me be….pl…please

that same gleefully voice says,

“ We’re not gonna hurt love muffin where the good guys !! and we all just seen the whole thing go down, we were about to help you but you can clearly take care of yourself”

well who are you?…..and……. where are you ?

the voice says well…..

“if we show you who we are promise you won’t freak out and scream?”

“ oh and please put the gun away ma’am” 

Panic and curiosity now taking over my mind and body I reluctantly put my gun away and say

Okay!

with The quickness I hear multiple grunts & thuds behind The other side of my car.

I slowly, And I do mean slowly lift up to peek through the other side through the glass, and I see what looks to be shells in resemblance to turtle or tortoise. 

i stand all the way up, eyes wide i look in amazement & shock at four big ass turtle/human like men.

ummm hey….. i say nervously walking towards them

the orange masked turtle greeted me first with a energetic but sweet demeanor

mikey: hey wasssup girl im Michelangelo but everyone calls me Mikey

hey mickey i give a smile…

mikey: dame your more beautiful up close and you smell really good….

me: i slightly chuckle and blush thank you

then he introduced me to the other three, The one wearing the red mask is Rafael and he is big as fuck , body builders ain’t got shit on him he has a scar on his lip and was chewing a toothpick looking mean, The one in blue mask is Leonardo, he was buff as well but it was more defined, he looked like he had a “not to be played with attitude” but was chill with it.  then there was The last turtle wearing a purple mask, and the tallest & slimmest of the 4 named Donatello, sporting gadgets all over and wearing goggles and some taped together glasses… they are all very handsome actually.

mikey: WE ARE!! mikey says excitedly 

me: dame did i say that out loud?

mikey: see bro’s i told you we looked good.

Leonardo: hold on,we told you who we are, now whats your name?

me: oh you right, my fault slim…my…. my name is Blaze…. Blaze marie.

Leonardo: BLAZE !!! thats your name???? leo says with confusion and scrunched up face

me: LEONARDO that yours??? i fire back Quick with a slight sass behind it



Rafael & mickey bust out laughing

“she got you there fearless”

*Leonardo just rolls his eyes and walks away*

Rafael: i noticed ya accent, ur not from here are ya?

me: nah moe im frm dc

mikey: moe? what does that mean he says with curiosity.

oh its actually the same as saying bro or Shorty.. oh okay say’s Mikey i like it as he beams a bright smile at me. I guess it’s OK just a little weird says Rafael. i shot back with ah yea ok you big hater, me and Mikey giggle to one another. he scoffs and walks away still chewing on the worn down toothpick. out of my peripheral vision I can see the purple turtle eyeing me like aloof prey……. so i look up and say you like what you see huh with a sly smirk, he embarrassingly snaps out of his trance and says im sorry i was just in deep thought, i chuckled oh really what were you thinking about green bean. while stuttering he say’s i.. i ….ummm..i really love your eyes, they are beautiful i dont think i’ve seen anyone with grey eyes like yours they are truly breathtaking. damn bro you trying to push up my lady now say’s mikey lol , heat rising from my chest and a quick shiver running down my spine i say thank you to the man in purple. thank god im black cuz my cheeks would be red like a tomato right now











[finelinevogue]

Hi! Hope you’re good! Could you please write a blurb where Harry and Y/N are high-school lovers, it’s up to you what exactly. Thank you❤️

sorry this is written so late!! i love the high-school lovers concept eeekk! this is going to be harry and y/n laying in bed having 3am conversations about nothing and everything, so enjoy:

You’d never felt more at peace.

Laying in the darkness of your bedroom, with the soft music of The Neighbourhood playing in the background and Harry cuddled up beside you, you’d just never felt so calm and loved.

Life was so chaotic and messy at the moment, what with deciding whether you wanted to go to college or not which determined whether you could get into university or not. So many big choices were having to be made at such a young age and all you wished for was the world to stop and simply pause, wait for you to breathe again, before returning its spin. Every day rushed past you so fast it was hard to remember whether it was even a new day or not. That’s why you’d asked Harry to come over tonight; because with Harry, time stopped.

He was currently laying next to you on your bed, one arm behind his head and the other wrapping itself around your body. You were half laying on top of him, with your leg pushed between the both of his, making you feel like one person. His breathing was shallow and you knew he was close to sleep, but you also knew he wouldn’t fall asleep before you did - just out of habit. His fingers danced on your bare shoulder, where your tank top exposed the skin, as you let yours trace patterns on his toned chest.

“Harry?” You asked very quietly, seeing as your parents were only in the next room over sleeping. They trusted and liked Harry enough for him to stay over, which you greatly appreciated.

“Yes baby?”

“When you lay alone in bed at night, what do you think about?

“You. Even if i’m in bed with you too.” You chuckled at his response, your cheek smushing into his chest more as your lips curled.

“Don’t be silly, answer properly.”

“Like in detail? Okay,” he didn’t let you but in before continuing, “I think about your smile and how much it makes me happy. I think about your kind heart and how i’m so honoured to share half of it with you. I think about all the things I want to adventure with you. Oh, and I also think about your pus—”

“Shut up!” You were quick to move your hand up to his mouth, trapping the words before they could be spoken aloud, until he licked your hand and you moved it away in pretend disgust.

“What?” He asked cheekily.

“My parents are next door, y’dork.”

“And? I’ve done more than just speak about your pussy in this room. Need a reminder as to what?” He teased, but you knew you were both too tired to do anything physical this evening - or rather this morning - other than talk. It was 2am and neither of you were ready to go to sleep, to deep in thoughts of each other to want to miss a moment with one another. You gave him a jab to his side, which tickled more than hurt him and then the room went silent for a minute.

In the silence you thought about how lucky you were to have someone like Harry beside you. He was your lucky charm and most favourite person in the world. He cared for you more than anyone and you liked to think you treated him the same way.

You two were the high-school couple that everyone dreamt of being. You hadn’t liked him to begin with, knowing that he’d gotten a reputation for being a bit of a dickhead when it came to girls, but he was quick to show you all of that was bullshit and he was actually a good man - or at least he wanted to be for you. You were both looked up by other couples in the school, to the point where some guys would come up to Harry and ask for advice on how to win a girl over or would come up to you asking what the best way to make it to a third date was. You loved being loved by Harry and people obviously sensed that too.

“What would we adventure?” You asked, referring back to something Harry previously said and he was too in-tune with you to not understand what you were on about.

“What would you want us to adventure?” He returned with a question, still caressing small patterns into your bare skin. His touch was electric and you’d never feel as alive as you did with him.

“I want to go apple-picking at the Smithdown Orchard.”

“Okay baby, that’s a start. Think bigger, though.”

“Um, the moon then!” You exaggerated, but did imagine how cool that would be for a split second.

“If you want to go to the moon, baby, i’ll take you there.” Your heart swooned at his words, making you plant a sideways kiss to his chest - right over his heart. You heard the sound of his chest beat a little faster to the touch of your lips and you smiled because of it. “Anywhere else? Maybe somewhere with more gravity?”

You laughed, before thinking to yourself. “I’ve always wanted to go to Paris. Like, the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre entice me. Imagine having a picnic filled with fresh strawberries and warm baguettes, underneath the Eiffel Tower at night, Harry. Doesn’t it sound perfect?” You contently sighed, dreaming of a life you knew was too far from reach. It was too unrealistic.

“If I get to be with you, then yes, it’s perfect.” He replied and you closed your eyes at the warmth of his comforting words.

“I love being in love with you, Harry.” You spoke quieter than you had before, like it was a secret that you only wanted him to hear. A secret he could keep locked in heart forever if he wanted - if he’d have you.

“C’mere.” He spoke softly, motioning for you to sit up so that you could see him better. You turned yourself and propped your head up on his chest, holding yourself up by your hands. He stroked some fallen hair back out of the way of your face and looked at you so intensely, you thought you’d melt away.

“What?”

“Just wanted to look at my girl.”

“Why? You see me almost every day.” You laughed, but your heart bled over his soft words. He said ‘my girl’ like you were entirely his, and that was perfectly okay with you.

“It’s never enough. You are a vision, Y/N.” He palmed his hand over your cheek and you melted into it, loving the feeling of his warm hand against your colder, softer, cheek.

“You’re pretty cute too, you know?” He laughed and blushed at your attempt of a loving comeback, making your head shake as his chest rose up and down.

“Am I now? Cute enough for a kiss off my favourite girl?”

“Oh, always.”

And your lips sealed together, not for the first time and definitely not for the last.

[christinesficrecs]

This is part two of the reclist for @justtakemeforaspin Because I love me some stilinski family feels! 💜

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What he’s not prepared for is to look up and see a very familiar face ambling towards his desk.

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Stiles’ friends are more of a pain in the ass than usual around the holiday season. Just because he spends all of his time at his bakery, doesn’t mean he’s unhappy. So hiring a fake boyfriend seems like the perfect, simple solution. Instead Stiles stumbles onto a stupid quest to make Derek Hale happy. But surely that will all work out in time.

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“Jesus!” he yelps. He licks his dripping arm — waste not, want not — and then rounds the kitchen island.

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Your father wants to take me fishing.

Derek looks at the message before he sends it, wondering why it’s so difficult to convey deep discomfort with just text.

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Derek tries and fails to shut his gaping mouth as Stiles arrives at his desk, heartbeat rabbiting a little faster than usual.

Stiles grabs a file out of his desk, muttering something about forgetting to mail it yesterday and needing to get it down to filing by Monday. Derek’s barely paying attention, unable to concentrate with the scent of him right under his nose.

He leans over Derek to grab an empty envelope from their shared stationary tray and Derek knows he’s absolutely fucked when he sees how his trousers are moulded to his perfect ass.

“So.... how do I look?” Stiles asks casually as he stands back up, as if his very presence hasn’t just given Derek a very sudden and uncomfortable boner.

He looks like he should be on the cover of GQ.

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Inevitability (About Damn Time) by accordingtomel | 9.7K | Explicit

“So?” Scott says.

“So?” Stiles sputters, kicking his shoes into the corner and locking the front door behind him. He’d whipped out his phone the second he’d pulled up to the house, and miracle among miracles, Scott actually answered. Of course, he’s not so pleased about that now. “My dad thinks Derek and I are dating, Scott. Did you miss that part?”

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last night’s dress (tiptoe out of this mess) by  hito | 16.7K

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“Stiles, I’m serious, I need a favour.”

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“It’s almost one.”

Nothing Short Of Perfect by GotTheSilver | 27K | Explicit

In which Derek and Stiles are made aware of their potential and have to make a choice about what their relationship will be.

“Let me get this straight,” his dad says. “You’re telling me a witch told Derek and yourself that you could be destined to be together and now Derek will be going to college with you?”

Stiles shrugs, resting his hands on his legs to stop himself from fidgeting. “That’s about it, yep.”

[shushiyuii]

Atlantic Runaways (Part 4)

Note: Ayooo!! Part 4 at like 3am! I’m very sleepy I worked on this for a long while but it’s finally out! Sorry it took so long but I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: Mentions of vore, fatal, trauma, drowning and death. There will also be Soft vore, panic attacks and almost character death. (Please be advised!)

Words: 4.8K (Longest fic yet, bruhhhh)

Exhaustion had caught up with him rather quickly surprisingly that day, he wasn’t sure why. Perhaps it was the excitement of the day or just his low energy finally catching up with him. Whatever it was, he couldn’t care, all he wanted to do was sleep after the long day of work.

Sure, working with Wilbur was indeed amazing but Tommy doesn’t get out too often, meaning he

doesn’t have the energy to stand up for long periods compared to his other colleagues. But that doesn’t stop it from being a blast.

With a sigh, he lazily dropped his shoes to the side and went up to his bedroom for the night. His room itself was a mess, but if he was honest, he couldn’t quite give a shit at the minute.

The bed’s blankets were crumpled and overthrown, cans left on the bedside table and trash laid around that he hadn’t managed to clean up yet, it was strange how in such a short amount of time, a lot of things had happened, but he was honestly too tired to question it at this point.

Turns out that prick of a trainer had ended up saying he was feeling sick and walked out on the day, leaving Tommy to do most of the day’s work, especially since he had to prepare Wilbur for the upcoming show within a couple of days with another Mer.

And Tommy was definitely dramatic and definitely had a flair for a camera, but he couldn’t be certain he could handle a big stage. After all, he couldn’t quite get the hang of the performance. It was mainly Wilbur trying to help him balance on his head.

Well, at least he had bonded with Wilbur. He faceplanted into the bed with a sigh, rubbing his eyes before finally covering himself with the bedsheets. And finally fell asleep.

...

A strange feeling came into his conscience, it was like anxiety spiking his back, he could feel tension there. He inhaled what he could, only to have a strange feeling of something leaving his mouth and more tension increasing on his body.

He opened his eyes to see light blue, he inhaled quickly, quickly trying to move his body only to notice the bubbles leaving, his body being unresponsive. He tried to scream instead only for nothing but bubbles again.

It felt like he was drowning again, he could feel the slow descent as the light blue slowly turned darker and what seemed to be the surface distancing away. Whatever it was it was definitely a dream, well more of a nightmare, a surreal, lucid nightmare.

He had the feeling of being watched, like a creature waiting to pounce in the distance. It scared him but he wasn’t sure why. Why did this scare him so much? He’d been through this shit before so now, why was it different now?...

The ocean embrace slowly increased as it dragged him deeper and deeper into its depths. The more he sank, the more his anxiety increased. Soon, the feeling of being watched turned to one of pure fear because in the distance he saw glowing blue, shark-like eyes staring into his very soul.

He watched the eyes, both unblinking. Waiting…

And then, he felt like he could move his body again.

He tried to swim upwards.

But giant, sharp teeth shadowed his vision and before he knew it,

The teeth were coming right down onto him.

…

He sat up in an instant, trying to catch his breath as he felt a tear escape his eyes. He quickly moved a hand to his head only wince back slightly from the amount of sweat he felt on his forehead. He shook off the feeling and turned to his phone, only to find that it was about 5 minutes until his work alarm went off.

He debated laying in bed for another five minutes but decided against it in favour of getting ready for work today. He sighed, wiping the sweat off his forehead and finally stood up for the first time. Feeling his bones pop into place and with a yawn, he deemed himself worthy of getting ready for the day.

He went into his wardrobe to find something comfy and warm to wear, since coming back from a day of working with water left you feeling miserably cold once you managed to escape the swimsuit, so Tommy always found it easier to wear something baggy for its warmth afterwards.

It was the merchandise of somebody he admired a long while ago, who he still admired to this day. As they were a well-renowned Streamer. He then combed his hair to the side with his hands and deemed himself ready to go as he grabbed his backpack of equipment for work.

He made his way out of his bedroom and began to walk down the stairs, there the smell of bacon hit his nostrils. His stomach then rumbled, telling him to quickly make way down the stairs to his father’s cooking.

He practically ran down the stairs and swung into his seat on the island with a thump. It certainly made his father jump to look back at his newly risen son. “Well, looks like somebody decided to down for breakfast for once”. He said with a smile as he began to finish up the classical English breakfast.

From what Tommy could see, there were freshly cooked eggs on two plates, with a hashbrown each. With also some s sausages, a slice of black pudding, a portion of mushrooms, which he didn’t really like, a portion of the good old tomato beans and lastly, the juicy well-done bacon.

The ultimate breakfast as Tommy called it, besides the mushrooms, he hated them. But his father forced him to eat them anyways. His father’s hair swayed as he turned around holding the two plates and brought them towards the island.

He sat the plates down with a set of knives and forks, with kettle plugged in and boiling beside them getting ready for a daily dose of a cup of tea. His father finally sat down with a sigh, he seemed exhausted himself, it seemed he hadn’t yet noticed.

The tea finally finished boiling, and his father passed him a cup. To which, he proceeded to blatantly pour sugar into his cup. Beside him, his father sipped a cup of tea and then looked to Tommy. His eyes went from a tiring comfort to one of surprise as he coughed on his cup.

“T-Tommy!”, he looked at his father with a smirk. It seemed his father finally noticed. His father sighed with a smile on his face. “Mate, you don’t have to go wearing my merch all the time!”, Tommy laughed.

“What, can I not wear your merch?”, he replied with a playful smirk. His father himself was Philza Minecraft, a popular Minecraft streamer who still had a very loyal fanbase. He had been streaming since Tommy was a kid and still streamed to this very day.

His father simply laughed in reply, “Alright, anyways. You going to work today?”. Tommy nodded as he picked up some food from his plate. And with his mouth full asked, “Could I have a lift please?”, “Of course, mate.”

They quickly finished up their joyful breakfast and made their way to the car they had. Luckily, it was about a 15-minute drive to the waterpark, so Tommy didn’t have to take as long to get to work compared to his many other co-workers.

The drive was comforting, the radio playing hit songs that reminded him of his childhood, singers like Bl!nk and Zack Warzone, but made it all the more different was his father embarrassingly trying to get him to sing along with him as a bonding experience.

Soon, the time for work arrived. His father kissed him on the forehead before he got out of the car, despite the fact Tommy was almost an adult, it never changed his father from doting on him like a child. He didn’t hate it but sometimes it could be embarrassing. He then waved his father goodbye.

A quick turn around the corner and the waterpark came into view with its giant, inviting sign welcoming all sorts of tourists to check out their attractions. But the sight inside the parking lot didn’t seem all that exciting.

There in the parking lot was a round of police cars, and what seemed to be a news station trying to catch sight of the latest eye-catching story, the sight of them scared him. Had something happened? Was Wilbur, okay? Why were they here?

He ran towards the main entrance just to see a familiar, cigarette-stained hat of the trainer being pushed into a police car by two officers. He was yelling out profanities and saying that he “wasn’t guilty of anything!”. But just by his expression, he could tell something had pissed off.

He made eye contact with the man and the glare he received from him was more than absolute fury and hatred. It went right through his soul, he looked back to see an officer approaching him. He backed off slightly in fear, only to bump into somebody behind him.

He tripped but kept his ground, his anxiety peeked slightly. He turned around to apologise only for a microphone to be put blatantly in his face. “You must be the victim of the attempted murder! Tell me, are you okay? How did you survive? How did it feel?”.

He backed up slightly as the questions piled into his brain, but he couldn’t find the answers. Nor did he want to answer either. He looked around panickily, hoping somebody would save him from this situation. And luckily for him, somebody was approaching in the distance.

It was his boss, who had a pissed off look on his face. But not at Tommy, more towards the media. The media seemed to notice his approach and got excited. “Mr Schlatt! Do you think you could-“, They were cut off by his words. “Enough”.

He had come close enough to the interviewer, he was much taller and thanks to his glare. He very much intimidated them. He looked towards Tommy and his face softened slightly as he grabbed Tommy’s hand and brought Tommy behind him.

“I do not tolerate you tormenting my employees. I ask you kindly to leave the premises before I ask the officers to force you to. Now, leave.”. Schlatt then turned around, his hand on Tommy’s back as he led him towards the building.

As soon as they were inside, Schlatt removed his hand and turned to look at Tommy. The once threatening expression turned to a friendly one. “You alright, there?”. Tommy hadn’t noticed how quickly his breathing had gotten. He leaned over for a minute, trying to gain control of it again.

Schlatt patiently waited, which he was glad for. And after a minute, he answered. “I-I’m fine, just…”, he was cut off by Schlatt saying, “It’s alright, you don’t have to answer. We don’t have to discuss it out-front. But I do wish for you to have a word”. He nodded and then the two walked into the office.

Schlatt was the first to sit down in his grand seat and then instructed Tommy to sit due to the fact that the boy was still slightly scared. Schlatt sighed for a moment and then spoke.

“Once a week, every Monday. The security team double-checks the security feed covering the nighttime. And of course, during the periods of closing time on Friday. You were seen being pushed into the water by Wilbur’s trainer and hadn’t surfaced for over a period of several minutes”.

Tommy looked away slightly in anxious fear, Schlatt continued. “Several hours later, you surfaced. Seeming very much disturbed by what had occurred. Wilbur who had surfaced along with you, comforted you in perhaps a different behaviour we had never seen from the Mer before”.

He sighed, “I’m not mad at you or anything, if. If anything, I’m worried for the sake of your mental health. Something like that to happen isn’t particularly healthy for one’s mind. If it weren’t for Wilbur that day, you could’ve…”. He didn’t finish the sentence; Tommy didn’t want him to either.

“Why didn’t you report it to me yesterday?”, his expression was sad, like a concerned father who was worried about their child. It reminded him of Phil. “I- I don’t know, I thought I’d get in trouble or some-“.

Schlatt leaned over the desk and patted his shoulder in comfort, “My dearest apologies Tommy, we do not condone that sort of behaviour from our employees and as you this saw morning, he’s going to be handled accordingly.”

He then fiddled into a drawer on his desk and slipped over a small, tight filled envelope with his name written on top in cursive writing, slightly messy as if it had been prepared in a rush. “I hope this is enough, compensation”.

Tommy opened the envelope under the gaze of his boss and slowly rips open the envelope under the pressure. Inside, was a butt load of cash, multiple £20 notes inside, hundreds. Tommy widened his eyes in shock at the amount of cash within the envelope. “W-wait, money?! This much?!”.

Schlatt cleared his throat with a smile, “Well, you see Tommy. You’ve been through a lot during your employment here. And of course, you’re bound to be stressed, so that should cover more than enough in case of therapy if needed, not only that but you’re a very hard worker. So, I also have something to offer”.

It certainly piqued his interest, what else could Schlatt be offering to him? Wasn’t the money enough as it is? “You see, his trainer has in fact been arrested. So, I’m going to have to find a replacement to work with Wilbur. As of now as well, you’ve established quite the bond with the Mer!”.

Tommy instantly understood what he was offering and jumped up at the opportunity. “Yes! I’d love to be Wilbur’s trainer”. The room’s mood from one of tension to one of joy. Schlatt seemed to smile at not only his acceptance but also his change of mood.

“Good I’m glad! I’ll have the paperwork sorted by the end of the day for you to sign! But Tommy.”. Tommy hummed in reply, “You see, as you should know. Wilbur has an upcoming performance Tomorrow. I hope it won’t be too much pressure on you to be able to perform.”.

Tommy contemplated it for a minute until he changed his mind as nodded with a smile. “I’ll be happy to do so, Mr Schlatt!”. Schlatt returned the smile, “Good, I’m glad. Now how about you get to Wilbur? He’s bound to be worried.”.

Tommy waved Schlatt goodbye and left the office. He made his way to the changing rooms with a much-needed change of mood. He was much happier compared to the morning. He quickly changed into his wet suit and quickly made his way to Wilbur’s pool.

…

He sprinted into the room, which was most definitely against regulations of health and safety due to the wet floors. He yelled out Wilbur’s name “Wilbur! Wilbur! Wilbur!!”. He dragged out the last one as loud as he could to express his excitement.

In a second a loud splash breached the surface of the pool and out came a giant Mer with anger, concern and fear expressed onto his face. He scanned for Tommy and when he found him, he almost crawled onto the surface as he cupped Tommy into his hands.

Tommy was quickly lifted towards the Mer’s face, concern written all over the Mer’s face. “Tommy! What’s wrong!? Are you okay?!”. Tommy just smirked and stood up in the Mer’s hands. “Wilbur! Guess what?!”.

Concern was still written on the mer’s face, but it had calmed slightly at the sight of Tommy excited. “What?!”. Tommy smiled and reached his hands towards the mer’s cheeks. “I’m your new trainer!”. Wilbur’s eyes widened, “Wait, is that why you were late this morning?! What happened to that prick?!”.

“He got arrested! He’s going to be going to jail!”. Wilbur smiled, his fangs on full display as he moved his face to nuzzle Tommy. “I’m so glad!”. Tommy laughed as Wilbur nuzzled him for several minutes. Tommy then pushed the giant cheek away, which got a small angry chirp from the mer.

Tommy giggled in response. “Alright, that’s enough you clingy dickhead!”.   Wilbur then allowed Tommy to be put back down on the surface. “You alright though? You seem nervous about something.”.

Tommy sighed and decided to explain, “The performance Tomorrow, I’d said I’d do but-“.Wilbur then ruffled his hair, “Don’t worry, we’ll get you prepared Today, it’s not too hard!”, “Says you! You’ve been doing it forever! I just started today!”.

“Well, there’s no time to waste then, eh?”.

…

Wilbur remained as still as possible as he swam around the pool, Tommy continued to attempt to keep balance on top of his head. Barely steady as he stumbled almost every second. “Come on Toms! You’ve-“ Wilbur tried to be encouraging but he was cut off by a scream and then a splash.

He reached a hand down into the water and picked up the panicking Tommy who now flailed like a fish in his hand. “Tommy-“, Tommy then sat up and started yelling profanities, “WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD!”. Wilbur tried to contain his laughter but failed as a series of happy chirps left his throat.

“DON’T LAUGH AT ME! YOU FUCKING FISH!”. There was no venom in the statement, just one of embarrassment which made Wilbur laugh even more. “O-oh my fucking god!”, Tommy then turned around on Wilbur’s hand and crossed his arms with a humph, pouting like a child.

Wilbur smirked at Tommy’s pouting and teasingly yet playfully asked. “Awh! Is Tommy gonna be a little baby?”, Tommy then stood up and attempted to tackle Wilbur’s finger back in retaliation, but it didn’t do much, eventually, he gave up.

“Okay- Okay- How about we try it again?”. Tommy reluctantly agreed. Wilbur then moved his hand towards the top of his head, allowing Tommy to attempt once again to balance on top of his head. This was going to be Tommy’s first performance and he was going to do it well. It was going to have to be perfect.

“You ready?”, Tommy hummed in reply and slowly Wilbur began to swim forwards. Tommy stumbled for a second but managed to regain his balance. And surprisingly this time, he managed to keep his balance and not fall from Wilbur’s head for the seventeenth head. “Wil! We’re doing it!”.

He looked down to see a smile on Wilbur’s face, but he didn’t respond, instead, he continued to swim. Challenging Tommy to keep his balance as he increased his speed ever so slightly and yet again, he managed.

After about a couple of rounds, Wilbur stopped and offered his hand to Tommy to climb onto. “Now that was one part of the performance. Now, you gotta jump off that. Wilbur then raised his hand slightly towards a high diving board.

Compared to Wilbur, it wasn’t much. But for Tommy, it was high, very high. Not that he was a fear of heights or anything! Wilbur offered to place him onto the diving board, but he refused and attempted to climb it himself.

He was about midway up the board when he paused, “Tommy, you sure you don’t want me to put you up there?”. He looked down to see Wilbur looking up at him, which didn’t really help as the mer was submerged in the water, but Wilbur could just easily reach this board if he wanted to do so.

He shook his head and instead closed his eyes for a second. Before regaining confidence and continued to climb until he reached the top. Now, Tommy had dived from diving boards before, but this height was certainly, breath-taking to say the least. How did other trainers do this?

He wanted to climb back down but the looming height scared him from doing so. “Tommy- Are you okay?”. He looked down to see the mer with a concerned expression.  “I-I’m fine!” he yelled back but obviously he wasn’t okay; he was beyond terrified.

Wilbur’s concern didn’t seem to unease though either as he remained where he was. Tommy contemplated for a moment and then decided. He had to do this, he had to prove himself he can do this! And not take anybody’s pity! He was TommyInnit after all!

He looked down again to see this time Wilbur attempting to give him a reassuring smile, “I’ll catch you in the water, okay? I promise! You trust me, don’t you?”. Tommy didn’t answer for a second but then smiled back, “Yeah! I do!”.

He then stood up, refusing to look at the ground and moved to the end of the diving board. With a deep breath, he inhaled. And then closed his eyes and jumped. He could feel the tension in his back as he dove, but he remained in space and attempted to do a spin as told. Once he think he had done it.

He braced himself for the water, inhaling more air; ready for the incoming water which didn’t come so shortly after. He could feel the atmosphere change as the cold air turned to freezing water, but the slow felt slower this time.

He opened his eyes, only to be surprised by seeing a familiar face with a smile, his cupped hands surrounded Tommy as he brought the two of them back to the surface. “That was amazing Tommy! I’m so proud!”. Wilbur nuzzled him once again and this time he embraced it.

He then fed Wilbur his dinner with his own lunch. The two talked about different things, particularly differences between their species. Who knew that Mer’s didn’t really know about technology? It seemed like he had a lot to teach Wilbur as the two of them watched some Twitch (especially his dad).

The shift soon ended with the two departing for the day. And Tommy made way to a bus station for a ride home. It was a nice day.

…

The alarm screamed once again, signifying it was once again a new day. A day of the performance. Tommy got up in an instant, practically getting ready in an instant and sprinting the stairs to see his father had already placed breakfast on the table.

His father looked at him with a smile, “You’re up already? Want some breakfast?”. Tommy nodded, joining his father for a much simpler breakfast of cereal compared to yesterday. “So, I heard there’s going to be a show at the Waterpark today. Do you have anything to do with it?”.

Tommy hummed yes in reply, his father’s eyes widened in excitement. “Oh really? Are you going to be performing?!”, Tommy swallowed down his cereal and nodded. Phil beamed with excitement and stood up, practically running towards his son to embrace him.

“Oh, Tommy! I’m so proud!”, his father hugged with joy. Tommy simply smiled in return, “Do you want another lift to work?”, “Please”. And like again they began to drive and arrive at Tommy’s workplace like the day before.

…

It wouldn’t be long until the performance, Wilbur had already been transferred to the performance pool and Tommy had already changed, ready for the show. But that didn’t stop the built-up anxiety. Not because he was going to be performing in from of a live audience.

But also, for a new station that was going recording the performance live for its audience. So, Tommy was beyond nervous. He paced around the room continuously until a nice-looking lady entered the room and asked, “TommyInnit? It’s time for you to go on stage!”.

He thanked the lady and went up a platform to where the entrance for the performance pool was, there Schlatt greeted him. “You ready?”, he nodded but rather reluctantly. “Don’t worry Tommy, you don’t need to talk at all, the announcer will handle that, all you gotta do is do the acts”.

Schlatt’s hand was once again on his shoulder. “Thanks for the encouragement, it helps!”. He put on the brightest smile he could and went towards the stage, the performance was finally beginning.

…

There were multiple other Mer’s who went up and performed beautifully with a bunch of different yet creative tricks. It made him wonder if his performance would even be good enough, not only that but the nervousness of doing so, he only had a day of practice and only succeeded once.

Soon, the announcers introduced Tommy as Wilbur’s trainer and a horn rang out, signalling Wilbur had been released. And the performance began, they did the swimming laps and balance completely fine, and Tommy even rode Wilbur as a gag!

(Which he had to admit was actually kind of fun). But that wasn’t the point, it was now the diving part of the performance, meaning Tommy once again had to do that scary jump. He breathed in for a moment as the audience waited.

And after a moment, he once again took the jump. He did the spin, but this time it was different. For some reason, an alarm went off, a loud one. It scared Tommy, forcing him to open his eyes mid-way through the fall.

Unfortunately, Tommy didn’t dive properly into the water. So, it didn’t quite leave with a proper splash or the fact that he came face-first into the water with an impact. The next thing Tommy knew he was unconscious

…

“Take the mer off the premise! He cannot be seen!”.

…

The next time Tommy had awoken was in a squishy room, it was wet yet not uncomfortable. If anything, it was familiar. He laid there for a moment, trying to remember what had happened. Until it hit him, he fell unconscious during the performance.

Not only that but also drown again, meaning he had yet another almost death experience. His heart began to bound as his pace of breath quickened.

He sat up in instant and began to pound at the contorting walls surrounding him. “Wilbur! Get up!”. His voice filled with panic as reality finally hit him. And he didn’t feel like being in a stomach at the moment. In response, the walls squished which didn’t quite help his claustrophobia.

He could hear a chirp of concern, he yelled out “LET ME OUT!”, the room then shifted and began to squish at him again, yet this time it was forceful as he was shoved from the stomach and squeezed the air from his lungs as he was pulled up into Wilbur’s throat.

He then landed into the of Wilbur, “Tommy, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”. Was he okay? Of course, he wasn’t fucking okay, he almost died again and of course, eaten which was definitely scary enough then the first time, even if he knew it was safe.

“Do I look okay to you Wilbur?!”, Tommy curled in on himself again, tears threatening to seep from his eyes. Wilbur ruffled Tommy’s hair with his other hand, but it refused to bring him comfort, he didn’t allow it. He didn’t want it.

Wilbur let out a chirp of concern when Tommy pushed the finger away, “WILBUR! JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”, he snapped. “Tommy! Calm down! What’s wrong-“.

“YOU! YOU’RE THE FUCKING PROBLEM!”. Tommy blurted out without hesitation, but he didn’t mean it. He covered his mouth for a couple of seconds before stuttering out, “Wil- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“.

“Enough”. Wilbur growled back, more aggressively than he thought he would. “Here I thought you were different, but of course I had to be fucking stupid. You’re no good than the rest of those pathetic humans”.

Tommy kept quiet, instead of responding. He simply walked away and went home…

…

When he arrived home earlier that morning, the house lights were strangely on that morning. So, he quickly wiped his eyes from the tears and unlocked his front door quietly. Trying to sneak into the house without suspicion. Perhaps his father was doing a late-night stream?

But that wasn’t the case because as soon as he came through the door, he was greeted by the running of a panicked, sobbing father. Embracing him as soon as he came through the door. He tried to hold back his own tears in favour of asking his father was wrong.

“W-what’s wrong Dad?”, “Mate, why didn’t you fucking tell me?!”, He was confused. “What?”, “The fucking police came by to interview me, why didn’t you tell me you were almost killed?!”.

…

[aching-tummies]

Stuffed to Starving

Everyone talks about 'Starving to Stuffed'. I think I just flipped the script.

We made rice congee for dinner last night. I'd gotten my fill after eating my one bowl. Congee is warm and kinda thick, so it fills me up for a while. I usually only eat enough of it to tide me over for about 2-4 hours (not just congee, but for every meal nowadays). Well, other family members went at it and after everyone had served themselves they were all like, "Oh hey, there's literally only one bowl left. Finish it and we'll put the pot in the dishwasher." So I ended up scraping the thicker last-bowl outta the pot and having to power through another helping.

I knew I had over-done it when I started feeling groggy soon after finishing. I ended up taking a 20-40 minute nap on the living room floor. I'd lain down to find some way to apply pressure to my bloated gut and I found it on the floor. Lying on my front was impossible, my stomach complained and ached badly from too much pressure so I ended up on my side. My stomach churned away for a while and I ended up nodding off.

I woke up and my stomach felt even more bloated than before. The double helping of congee had pushed me passed 'Full'. Not quite completely 'stuffed', but my stomach was definitely straining around more food than I usually let it have all at once.

About nine hours after that, it was 3AM. In that time I had gone to my room, done a few things on the computer, and geared down for bed. I'd slept for a couple of hours but I woke up around 3AM. My stomach felt the same as it had after the 20 minute nap. It felt like absolutely nothing had digested or moved at all in that time period. My disgruntled guts were exhausted, having been suspended in a 'too full' state for hours and hours. I couldn't go back to sleep with the mess swirling in-place in my stomach. It felt like it wanted to gurgle, to snarl and move stuff along, but none of that was happening and there were no gurgles. All that discomfort and no noises? For shame, stomach!

More sleep was a lost cause at that point so I sat up, pulled up a movie on my laptop, plugged in my headphones, and for the entire two hours or so I just sat back and watched, both of my hands pressed against my stomach, giving the occasional rub. What I wouldn't give to have had a partner giving me a deeper massage in that moment.

Movie ends, my stomach has settled only slightly. It still feels 'too full', but the sickly ache has quelled just a little. I put my laptop away and curl up on my side, shoving a pillow under my side to apply continual pressure to my stomach.

Four hours later, I wake up again. A new sensation has griped my stomach like a vice. Tightness. Not like something inside pressing out...something inside feels like it is being compressed.

I roll onto my back, toss the pillow I had applying pressure, and I start assessing my guts, running my hands over my stomach and trying to map out what's going on.

I think...I'm hungry...?

The mass of congee has finally left my stomach. It's spread throughout my intestines, but I guess it was a large and uncomfortable amount for my stomach, but not so when spread out across so much intestine...but the upper half of my digestive tract (where I'd be experiencing hunger anyway) is finally blissfully empty.

There's a lot of those sensations like there's a growl building...but I've been rubbing and prodding at my stomach for over an hour and a half now, trying to make it growl, and nothing is happening.

If I can, I'll try and avoid eating until I get to enjoy some nice growls...but it better hurry up because family will get suspicious if I stay in my room too long. Again, wishing for a partner to wail on my guts and manipulate it to make all this crap go much faster. If I had a partner working on it, I doubt I would have experienced 'too full, gonna feel sick' for over 11 hours.

[arvinsescape]

Nurse Y/N

A/N: I’ve been working on this for a couple of days and happy to finally be able to post it. Mob Tom fic, i tried to add smut but i don’t think my writings there at the minute, i’ll do it eventually. Bit of a slow burn but not too much. As always i hope you enjoy.

Summary: You��re a nurse and you’ve always been on the right side of the law, what happens when you meet a man that sweet and caring but definitely not on the right side of the law.

Warnings: Language, mentions and hints of smut.

W/C: 4.4K,

You’d lived with your best friend for around a year now. A bad relationship had brought you to his door, he took you in and the rest is history. You were working as a nurse in the local hospital and you had no idea what exactly it was that your best friend did, he didn’t talk much about it, claiming he “just did odd jobs for someone”. You were sceptical to say the least, the amount of times he had come home covered in bruises led you to believe that his activities were probably not legal. But he never brought it home and being non the wiser made things slightly easier for you. It was your day off and you were stuck into a Netflix series when you saw your best friends name light up on your phone screen. You noticed it was 1am and wondered why he wasn’t home yet.

“Hi James. What’s up?”

“Y/N? Where are you?” He asked in a rushed tone. He sounded out of breath. You could hear the slamming of a car door over the speaker.

“I’m at home. Why? James what’s wrong?” You asked him, voice growing more concerned.

“I need your help. If I text you an address can you meet me there?”

“Sure. James are you okay?” You asked as you started to put your shoes on.

“I’m fine! I just need you to meet me.”

“Okay, text me the address.” You sighed as you hung up and grabbed your car keys.

Once you received the address you set off in the direction that your SAT NAV was taking you. As you came nearer to the destination you started to feel more and more uneasy. It was almost too quiet for London. You pulled into what looked like an abandoned warehouse, now you were really uneasy. You fumbled around your bag as you tried to find your phone, with a tight grip you dialled James’ number.

“Y/N? Where are you?”

“I’m outside but what is going on? Where have you brought me?”

“Stay there I’ll be out in a second.” He huffed as he put the phone down.

He wasn’t wrong, it couldn’t have been 30 seconds later that he arrived at your car, pulling the door open. He looked physically fine but the worry on his face still had you on your guard. What on Earth was going on? You glanced at the time in your car 1.10am. What the hell is happening?

“Y/N. I’m sorry for calling so late but I didn’t know who else to call. I can’t go to a hospital and I need one, so I need your help. I need you to do something for me.” He spoke faster than you thought physically possible.

“Slow down. What is it? Are you hurt?” You asked as you scanned him overlooking for wounds that weren’t there. What did he mean he needed a hospital but couldn’t go?

“The guy I work for. He’s been injured, someone managed to get a shot off on him.” He rambled as he pulled you towards the building.

“Shot! What the hell are you talking about? What do you do?” You almost screamed.

“Look. I promise I’ll explain everything Y/N. But right now I need you to help him. I can’t take him to a hospital it would be too risky. I need you to take the bullet out and stitch him up. Please, he’s my boss. He’ll make it worth your while.” He asked you with pleading eyes as he pulled you further into the warehouse.

“James. I’m not a surgeon! I don’t know if I can do that!” You started to panic now.

“You can give stitches though? He’s been shot in the arm, he’s losing blood, but I think the bullet is stemming the bleeding. I don’t think it’s lodged too far in. Please and I promise I’ll explain everything.”

The nurse in you was screaming at you to try and help who ever it was but you were frightened, you weren’t a surgeon. What if it went wrong? He could sue you; you’d lose your career. You weren’t supposed to do this off duty. So many things were running through your mind as James took you into another room that was filled with 4 other men. All dressed rather smart to say they’d clearly been involved in illegal activity. The man who James had informed you was the boss became apparent when you saw him clutching his arm. Blood dripping down it.

“Boss. This is Y/N, she’s a nurse.” James explained as you both stopped in front of him. He was attractive at first glance. Beautiful brown eyes and brown curls that were almost begging to have fingers run through them. You kept quiet, feeling intimidated as he stared you down, expression completely unreadable.

“Can you trust her?” The ‘Boss’ asked James.

“She’s been my best friend for years; you can trust her.” James answered confidently. You just shook your head, finally having the courage to speak up.

“Hang on just a second. What do you mean can you trust her? I’m the one who should be wondering that, your sat there having been shot, apparently need my help and you have the audacity to ask if you can trust me?” You almost screamed at the man in front of you. You don’t know what made you snap, maybe it was the stress of the situation or how tired you suddenly felt. James grasped your arm in a tight grip.

“Y/N. I love you, but this is no time to be head strong. Just please, be respectful, he’s an important man.” He said to you as he released your arm. Before you could say anything, the brown eyed man spoke first.

“No, that’s quite alright James. She’s feisty, nothing wrong with that.” He said as he smirked in your direction. He may have been good looking, but he was irritating the hell out of you. You just looked at him as if to say, “what the fuck?” He just smiled at you. “Now, I would very much appreciate it if you could help me out. I will pay you what ever you want, and I promise not to say a word to anyone about what you have done for me.” He gave you what seemed to be a genuine smile and you sighed. Perhaps doing what he asked was the fastest way to get to bed.

“Look, I’m not a surgeon. I might not be able to do much, but I’ll try. Let me have a look.” You said as you eyed him carefully. James had left to stand near the other 3 men in the room. You took his arm as you assessed the damage. Maybe you could do this. The wound didn’t look all that bad. “I think I can do this. It just, it will hurt, and I don’t have anything to numb the pain. In fact, I don’t have anything at all to work with.” You suddenly realised.

“Well I came somewhat prepared. Sam? Have you got the first aid kit?” He turned to one of the men. ‘Sam’ nodded and made his way towards you, handing you the first aid kit and making his way back to his original spot. This really was some strange operation.

“Like I said, this might hurt.” You sighed as you got to work.

**

“Okay. All done.” You said as you finished up the stitching. You were surprised at how little he flinched throughout the process. He must have one hell of a pain tolerance. “Take some paracetamol and ibuprofen when you get home. I really would suggest you go to an actual hospital to make sure I removed that bullet properly.” You said as covered the stitching with a bandage.

“Thank you very much. I’m sure I won’t be going to a hospital, not sure how I would explain a bullet wound without the police getting involved and what would I tell them? I’d have to tell them nurse Y/N helped me out in the first place.” He teased.

“Whatever, just please don’t sue me if you end up losing your arm.”

“I promise. Now how much would you like for what you have done. Name your price. It’s yours.”

“I don’t want anything. Just please don’t tell anyone what I did and try and stay out of trouble.” You sighed as you looked into his brown eyes. You really were tired now, thankful that you had a day off tomorrow, well today.

“I already promised that I wouldn’t say anything and as for staying out of trouble I’m afraid I can’t promise you that. But hopefully I won’t need your services like this again. Are you sure you don’t want any money?”

“I’m sure. It wouldn’t feel right to take money when I know I shouldn’t have done that. I really just want to go home and go to bed.”

“Whatever makes you feel better princess.” He said as he flashed you a genuine smile and that nickname made your stomach do things that you’d rather not think about. He wasn’t someone you should get mixed up with. That much you could tell.

“James? Are you coming?” You finally turned to your best friend and he just shook his head, saying that he had things to finish up there and with that you left. You fell into bed and as soon as your head hit the pillow you were asleep.

**

You woke up at around 12pm, having not gotten into bed until 3am and you were still feeling exhausted. You briefly wondered if last night was just a strange dream was just but you knew it wasn’t. You made your way downstairs and made yourself a coffee, yeah you were going to need caffeine to wake up today. You wandered into the living room where you saw James sat on the couch, he looked over at you.

“Y/N. Thank you so much for last night. I’m so fucking sorry that I dragged you into that, but I couldn’t let anything happen to him, he’s a very important man.” James rambled as you took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, sipping your coffee.

“I just want an explanation, James. It’s the least you can do.” You were still slightly pissed at him, but you knew he wouldn’t have risked you and your job if it wasn’t important.

“Okay. Look, I’m involved with the London ‘mob’ if you want to call it that. I’ve made it pretty far up in the ranks and that was my boss, the leader you saved last night. We were reclaiming some old territory when things went a little south and he got shot. I can’t thank you enough for what you did, and I promise I wouldn’t have gotten you involved if I didn’t have to.” He sighed. You’d stayed silent, taking in his words and you just sighed back.

“Listen, I’m still pissed but it’ll pass. I had a gut feeling you were involved in something illegal and I think you should get out if you can but please don’t get me involved like that again and we’ll continue to pretend that this never happened and you don’t do what you do for a living. The less I know the better.” James smiled at you as he hugged you.

“Thank you Y/N. You’re the best. I love you; you know that. I can deal with you being pissed; I deserve that much. I promise I’ll make it up to you, pizza for tea. I’m buying!”

Most people would say that you’d had a rather nonchalant response but honestly. You didn’t want to know more; he was your best friend and maybe you were trying to look the other way to protect your image of him or maybe you were still tired and your brain hadn’t quite caught up yet but you left it at that and he told you he was going to ‘work’ and off he went about his day as you started going about your own.

You’d just been for a shower when you heard a knock at the door. You hadn’t been expecting a visitor and assumed it was your friend who also had today off. You threw on your pyjamas which consisted of shorts and a tank top as you made your way to the door.

“You know Lizzy, you could’ve texted me before you decided to- “Your words were cut short as you opened the door. It wasn’t Lizzy at all, it was the man you’d helped last night, escorted by two other men that you didn’t recognise.

“If I had your number, I might’ve done sweetheart.” He said as he took in your attire. You suddenly felt self-conscious under his stare and wished you’d have grabbed your dressing gown.

“What are you doing here? How did you know where I live?” you asked him.

“My apologies but James said you lived together, and I know where all my staff live.”

“Okay, so what do you want?”

“I came to thank you properly for last night. You don’t want paying and I can’t take what you did for free.” He said as he watched you cautiously eye the two men that he’d brought with him. “Don’t worry about them, apparently I’m not aloud to go anywhere alone until my arm is healed. Mum’s orders and you know you don’t argue with your mother.” He said, trying to ease you, you still looked somewhat tense. “Can I come in? I’ll make them stay outside.” He asked and there was that genuine smile again. It made your stomach flip and you just nodded as you moved aside and let him in. Shutting the door rapidly as he crossed the thresh hold.

You hadn’t noticed his hands were full until he placed down a large box on your kitchen counter. “Do I want to know what’s in there?” You couldn’t help but ask.

“Well unless you’re allergic to anything in there, I wouldn’t be too concerned.” He teased. You made your way over and opened the box, it was full of god knows how many boxes of all different types of chocolate. “I did ask James and he said you loved chocolate so I thought I could repay you by starting there.”

“Well thank you but honestly I don’t want anything else. It’s not like you were on deaths door.” You joked back. Something about him set you at ease when it probably shouldn’t have.

“Well who knows? I might’ve lost my arm.” He laughed. You couldn’t help but laugh with him, it was almost contagious. “Tom by the way.”

“Wow. James didn’t call you Tom; I must be honoured.” You laughed.

“Well unlike James, you don’t work for me princess.”

“No, I suppose I don’t.”

“Cute pj’s by the way.” He teased as he eyed you again. You instantly wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling conscious under his stare, but not in a bad way, in a way that made your stomach flutter and heat rush to your cheeks.

“Um, thanks. Look, not to be rude but what do you want?” You asked as you locked eyes with him. God he was beautiful.

“I’d like to take you out to lunch, as a thank you. Don’t read too much into it.”

“Will you take no for an answer?”

“Not really darling.”

“Fine. Give me 10 minutes.” You laughed as you made your way upstairs to get changed.

**

He took you to a nice restaurant at the other side of town, it seemed expensive, but he didn’t seem to mind, it seemed like he knew everyone that worked there. He probably owned it; you came to realise. It was actually a lovely afternoon spent chatting and getting to know him. There were numerous times when you found yourself wondering how he ended up being part of a mob. He was sweet but every time you remembered what he did for a living you were reminded that you couldn’t let yourself go there.

**

“And where have you been?” James teased as you came through the door.

“Out.” You answered vaguely.

“With a certain brown eyed, brown haired mobster?”

“How did you know?” You asked, shocked.

“Well I know he was interested in how I knew you and then we didn’t see him again all day.”

“Right, well, he just wanted to say thank you.” You said as you joined him on the couch.

“Bullshit Y/N. I think he has a soft spot for you.” He continued to tease you. “I mean come on. He’s gorgeous.”

“It was just a thank you lunch!” You defended yourself. “Besides it wouldn’t be a good idea, you know with what he does for a living, if you want to call it that.”

“Yeah, but he could offer you protection and all the money you’d ever need. He might do illegal stuff but he’s not a complete monster Y/N.”

“James, please don’t go there.” You groaned as you took a slice of pizza from the box he’d ordered in.

“Okay, okay. I know that look though. That one you had when you came through that door. I just have one question for you.” He said as he laughed.

“What’s that?” You asked, mouth full of pizza.

“When are you seeing him again?”

You picked up the nearest pillow and hit him with it, mumbling a ‘fuck off’ as he laughed at you. You finished your night watching a movie before heading to bed, dreams of a curly haired, brown eyed boy flooding your dreams.

**

Two weeks passed before you saw Tom again. James had mentioned he wasn’t going to be in for the night, and you’d decided to read a book as there was a knock at the door. You made your way over and opened the door, there he was, alone this time.

“Déjà vu. I swear you had exactly the same thing on the last time you opened this door for me.” He laughed as he gestured towards your attire.

“I did. What are you doing here Tom?”

“I actually just came to see you.” He said as he made his way past you so you could close the door.

“And why’s that?”

“Look, I can’t stop thinking about Y/N. God knows I’ve tried but I can’t, and I know we hardly know each other but I’d like to change that.” He answered, he’d stepped slightly closer to you.

“Tom.” You sighed. “We shouldn’t. This isn’t a good idea, you know that right?”

“Trust me, I’ve been through this a thousand times since we last saw each other but I can’t help it. I think I like you, like a lot.” He said as he reached towards you, catching a strand of your hair as he played with the end of it. Your heart rate was starting to pick up at the closeness.

“Tom I-“

“I could give you everything and anything you want princess. I’d look after you and that’s a promise, I know my line of work is messy and comes with risks but I’m willing to risk everything for a chance with you.” He’d tucked the strand of hair behind your ear and placed his hand on your cheek, moving his face closer to yours, you could feel his breath on your lips.

“We shouldn’t” you whispered, although you knew you didn’t mean it. He just shook his head in agreement with you. Lips almost touching.

“If you don’t want to just tell me to stop.” He whispered against your lips. Your body moved before your brain could catch up and you connected your lips. It was like fireworks had exploded in your stomach. Your lips moved against each other as your fingers made their way into his curls, god they were soft.

He backed you up until your back hit the cool wall behind you, moving his hands to grip your hips. His tongue slid over your bottom lip asking for access which you gladly gave. Your tongues danced together like they were old dance partners. Knowing exactly how to move together and it made you moan slightly. You pulled back for a bit of air before his lips were back on yours. You’d never been kissed like this before. Almost as if he was trying to tell you everything through the kiss.

He tapped your thigh and you jumped, his strong arms instantly catching you as he pinned you further against the wall. Your mind was racing, this was possibly the hottest, most intense kiss you had ever engaged with. “Do you want to stop?” He mumbled against your lips. You only shook your head in response reconnecting your lips as he carried you through the flat, you directed him towards your bed room and the night was spent with you receiving the most amount of attention and pleasure you’d ever experienced with another human being.

**

You woke up with a warm arm wrapped around your waist, your mind flooded with the events of the night before. You smiled to yourself as you carefully removed his arm and made your way into the bathroom. You examined yourself in the mirror after having brushed your teeth and gasped at the large hickey that had been left on the sweet spot of your neck. You bit your lip and smiled. You threw on Tom’s shirt that he’d worn last night and some underwear, making your way into the kitchen. You boiled the kettle as you got two mugs out, lost in your thoughts you didn’t hear a second person enter the kitchen.

“Well someone looks happy.” James laughed as you lightly screamed and turned around to face him.

“James, I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.” You gasped, hand on heart as you waited for it to beat at a regular pace again.

“I recognise that shirt.”

“How can you recognise a white button up shirt?” You asked in disbelief.

He just laughed at pointed at the sleeve, you looked down and on the cuff of the shirt was ‘T.H’ embroidered in gold. Heat instantly rose to your cheeks.

“It’s none of your business!”

He threw his hands up in defence. “You’re right, it’s not. You look happy though, I’m happy for you.”

“I don’t- we haven’t spoken about it.” You sighed. Just as you spoke Tom walked into the kitchen, he smiled at you.

“I wondered where that had gotten to.” He laughed gesturing towards the shirt as he said morning to James. James shook his head and laughed.

“I’ll leave you two to it.” He grabbed his keys and wallet and walked out of the flat. Leaving you and Tom stood in the kitchen. He was shirtless and he looked good, you bit your lip as you looked at him.

“Morning princess.” He smiled as he wrapped you in a tight, warm embrace.

“We should talk about last night.” You mumbled against his chest. He sighed.

“Look, I meant what I said. All of it.” He kissed the top of your head. You pulled out of his embrace as you looked at him.

“I just- I know it might seem ridiculous because of last night but I want to take it slow. We should get to know each other. We don’t know enough about each other yet and last night, I don’t regret it but maybe we should take it back to step one.”

“Whatever you want princess. I promise I’ll look after you. I know my line of work bothers you and I hope that you can accept that it’s part of what I do but I understand if getting to know me more means that that is too much for you.” He said as he looked into your eyes. He was being vulnerable, honest and you knew you had to give him the chance. You’d regret it if you didn’t.

**

You went on dates and it would be three months before you found yourself in bed with him again. You fell hard and you fell fast for him. You ended up leaving your job in favour of becoming the woman who oversaw all of Tom’s books. He kept you safe and he loved you and made you feel more loved than you thought possible. Anything you wanted, you got. Anything you needed, you had. Anything you asked of him, done.

You never imagined that you’d end up dating a man on the wrong side of the law and being okay with it, being complicit in it but here you were. You married about three years in and nothing changed, he still made you feel the same way he had years prior. You had three beautiful children with him, and he was best, most loving father a child could hope for. You had two boys which he would do anything and everything for and your little girl well he doted on her completely, she was his little angel, couldn’t do a thing wrong in his eyes.

“You know I never thought I’d say this” he spoke one night as you were cuddled up in bed “but I’m actually thankful I got shot that night.”

“Most people wouldn’t be thankful for that Tom.” You teased him.

“No probably not. But I never would have met you had it not happened.” He said sincerely as he ran his fingers up and down your arm.

“No, you wouldn’t have. I’m always thankful I gave you the chance even if at the time I was wary.” You laughed as you kissed his chest.

“Admit it. I had you the second I kissed you and then gave you one of the best railings you’d ever had.” He teased which earned him a playful smack on the chest.

“Yeah that always helps.” You laughed as you rolled your eyes at him. You couldn’t be more in love with this man if you tried. 

[trillgutterbug]

tagged by @malewifemanhunter ty!!

name: trill q gutterbug, the q stands for queer

star sign: who knows or cares

height: 5'10, which means i can definitively say coffee doesn't stunt your growth, even if you start drinking it age 4

time: 9:38am 😓 i do NOT want to be awake rn but the rest of my family is gone atm so the grisly burden of letting the chickens out at ass o'clock fell to me. (eta it is now 12:13 bc i fell asleep for two hours before posting this)

birthday: the day laura ingalls wilder was wed

favorite bands/artists: of montreal, why?, clipping., and nine inch nails are the eternal faves i can't get sick of, but im also tremendously partial to kendrick and lil nas and hozier and mcr and twenty one pilots and the like. also i listen to a lot of chillhop and electroswing, because im a good person with good taste

last movie: i think mad god, which was fantastic and completely incomprehensible. i don't usually have the attention span to sit through a movie if im watching it alone, so.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (eg, the way i still have to finish everything everywhere all at once, which i got an hour into last week, enjoyed tremendously, then got up to walk around and listen to a podcast and play a video game and jerk off or whatever the fuck, and just haven't gone back!)

last show: i believe the latest ep of what we do in the shadows.... or maybe sunny? or euphoria? whatever it was, i was watching it with jackie im sure!

when did i create this blog: idk where to find that info, but im p sure 2014, after LJ shat the bed and i dipped from active fandom for a couple months and when i came back it was like.... owo where'd everyone go?! here, apparently.

what i post: constant thirsty nonsense about a rotating string of fandom obsessions, shitposts, sometimes a bit of tumblr-brand anarchism and socialism bc even the junkfood buffet churns out a smidge of healthy caloric content every once in a while

last thing i googled: i don't use google but the last thing i duckduckgo'd was........ where's wade wilson from, bc i saw something that said vancouver and one of the movies implied regina but i swear to GOD i know it's winnipeg from some other source. results annoyingly inconclusive.

other blogs: @truelevelb1tch, my rick and morty side, which is going to pop off again in a MONTH (!!!!!!!!!) when s6 starts dropping 😱😱😱. i do not apologise for the person i become when r&m occurs, fair warning

do i get asks?: not enough to worry about, thank goodness

following: idk where to find that info either, but it's probably a few hundred, the vast majority of which are inactive at this point. i probably see <50 blogs on my dash??

average hours of sleep: like eight, which is NOT enough for me, but it varies wildly between 5 and 10 depending on what im doing for work on a given day/whether i have to get up early for animal-related reasons/if im up reading fic until 3am/time of year/blah blah

instruments: flesh flute....,,,

what i’m wearing: nuthin

dream job: I Do Not Dream of Labour

dream trip: i hate travelling! but i am partial to visiting my cousins' farm on the reg, so let's say that

nationality: canadian

favorite songs: the trapeze swinger by iron and wine has been my fave song for about ten years. it's almost ten minutes long and if stats across various laptops and ipods and phones could be collated, it would show a playcount in the thousands lol. i first heard it as the closing music on the amazing podfic for the inception fic presque vu and it gutted me on the spot. ode to the mets by the strokes is also on the same trajectory. otherwise, my fave songs come and go in the usual way, by liking something and listening to it repeatedly until i can't stand it. (eta: just went into my music app to see if i'd forgotten anything, and literally the only thing on my "most played" list is the trapeze swinger, so...)

last book i’ve read: currently reading (aside from the massive eternal stack of ww2 ref books) the half life of valery k by natasha pulley and grimscribe by thomas ligotti. most recently before that i read borne by jeff vandermeer, the kingdoms by natasha pulley, blood meridian, the d&d 5e player's handbook, and some postapoc scifi thing that was so forgettable i genuinely cannot conjure up the name of it or its author!!

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: idk, they all seem uniquely bad in ways that do not necessarily improve upon the unique ways in which our current universe is bad. but to be sporting i'll say star trek of course, anything jared harris is in bc i want to fuck him more than im afraid of space terrorists or freezing to death or nuclear radiation, and the fictional universe i've been manifesting in my imagination for years where we never invented agriculture and i died at birth for simplistic umbilical cord-related reasons

lowkey tagging @kaasknot, @collapsinghorizons, @mollynoble, @twobrokenwyngs, @pohjanneito, @lingua-mortua, @sloppyplanetary, @alakeeffectgirl, and @quiescentire

[nationalharryleague]

Acts of Service

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Genre: FLUFF

Word count: 2K

A/N: This is a fluffy love letter to Harry’s love language definitely being acts of service. Feedback is always appreciated and loved! More of my work can be found in my masterlist! 

***

You hadn’t wanted to go out in the first place.

The club was hot and sticky and the pounding of the music was giving you a headache between your eyes. Blisters had begun to form from the rubbing of your heels and your boob prison of a push up bra was beginning to pinch in all the wrong places. You wanted to go home.

At home, you knew the green-eyed, curly-haired god of a man you had somehow trapped in your own spell was waiting up for you. You pictured him curled up on your couch in your apartment, where you had begged him to stay so he would be there whenever you were released from Girls Night. You smiled at the thought of him fighting off sleep with your dog burrowed into his side and your kitten curled up on his chest. A smile pulled it’s way to your lips thinking of how you would collapse next to him and be enveloped by the smell that could be described only as Harry that filled your apartment whenever he was there. You hadn’t been with him for long, but you knew you never wanted to be without him again.

Miss you. Be home soon :), you typed out to him and pressed send before your phone was ripped out of your hands by familiarly manicured fingertips. Your objections were met with laughter and playful scolding from your friend, Sarah.

“No more phone!” she giggled, slipping your device into her own back pocket. “More dancing and drinking,” she insisted, grabbing your arm and pulling you from the depths of the red velvet booth. She held her iron grip on your hand as you were dragged through the cramped dance floor to the long bar. Soon shots were placed in your hands of some clear foul smelling liquid that Sarah assured you ‘didn’t burn too bad.’ On the count of three, you found out your friend was a dirty good-for-nothing liar and the fiery alcohol slid it’s way down your throat, feeling it’s intoxicating effects only minutes later.

Dancing didn’t sound too bad anymore. Dancing actually sounded great. And dance you did. You felt your normally self conscious and slightly awkward self melt away as it always did when you had a couple drinks in you and you had the time of your life. When the club turned its lights up, the universal sign of ‘get the fuck out,’ your friends piled into the back of your designated driver’s car. You were usually DD, but you were glad you passed up the opportunity for once.

“There’s my man!” you shouted out the back window as you pulled up to the apartment building, finding Harry waiting for you, leaning against the front doors. He loved it when you called him ‘your man;’ letting out a light chuckle but fighting a blush from finding its way to his face in front of the gaggle of girls. He looked sleepy, understandable since it was nearly 3am, but a smile didn’t leave his lips as he gently rubbed his eyes.

“Hi my girl,” his voice graveled back, thick with the sound of sleep. Clumsily climbing out of the back seat, you wobbled your way to his waiting arms, finally feeling steady supported by his firm hold on your waist.

“I missed you,” you whispered, only stumbling over your words a little and puckering your lips slightly, silently asking for a kiss. You watched his eyes flicker quickly up at the watching car full of your closest friends before giving into your request. When your lips met, you were cheered on by a chorus of ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs,’ your girlfriends determined to embarrass you both. You pressed your now pink cheek to his chest as you waved your friends off into the night, saying your goodbyes and feeling a light peck to the top of your head.

“Come on, let's get you upstairs party girl,” Harry spoke softly, his hand securely wrapped around you and a finger hooked into your jeans’ belt loop, steadying your slightly swaying body. The elevator ride up to your apartment was short, filled with your drunken blabbering about whatever came to mind; topics varying from how soft your kitten was to how bad you wanted to eat the tub of cookie dough in the back of your fridge. Your thoughts were met with sleepy chuckles and his adoring gaze.

Walking inside your home, after a considerable fight with your key, you surveyed the sleeping animals curled up into their beds and raised their heads for only a moment before they deemed sleep more important than their mother. Looking around your cramped living room, you were greeted with a spotless apartment, far cleaner than when you left it for your night of mayhem. “Oh, you didn’t,” you accused as your shocked face met his smug one.

“I got a little bored and I thought it would be nice for you to come home to a clean house,” he smiled. Throw pillows were set on the couch in perfect alignment, tops and bottoms of potential outfits you had chosen from had long been folded and put away, and your carpet looked fluffier like it was freshly vacuumed. “There's also something for you in the kitchen.”

A whisper of ‘oh my goodness’ left your lips when you saw the plate of chocolate chip cookies sitting on your counter in the tiny kitchen. You were an emotional drunk and you didn’t even know you were crying until Harry wiped your tears away.

“You didn't have to do all of this for me,” you whimpered as he pulled you into another hug, leaning up against his warm frame to balance your own.

“I wanted too,” he assured you tenderly. “You know my love language is acts of service, or at least that’s what you told me it was,” he said, your head vibrating from the laugher in his chest.

Harry made you feel loved more than anything else in your relationship. You had only been together for a few months and they had been some of the happiest of your life. You two had met in a bookstore, however chiche it was, and had gotten coffee together. It was your treat (gift giving was your own love language) and very soon after you decided you never wanted to live a life without him in it. You loved him and you knew it, but you had not reached the point in your relationship where you were ready to tell him that. You hoped the gifts you brought nearly every time you saw him were already doing that for you.

You had never been in a relationship that you saw a clear future in. Sure, there were a few people here and there but you had always been known as the single friend. The friend that would always lend an ear, give unfounded relationship advice, and curse exes until they evenvitabily got back together.

Everything about Harry was different. You had met your match. You could spend days on end curled in each other's arms, only leaving your bed to grab snacks, and never run out of topics to discuss or want some time apart. You talked about your careers (he was a middle school music teacher and you were a law student), the meaning of life, childhood memories, your favorite colors, and so on. It was all just so easy with him.

He was also the first man you had ever been fully comfortable with. Overtime, your walls came down (or he knocked out a couple bricks and stuck in), and your usually self conscious demeanor began to twist into this new and improved version of yourself. Even if down the line you and Harry went your separate ways, you knew you would be better for knowing him.

You were brought out of your adoring haze when Harry asked if you needed help getting into pajamas. You agreed, knowing that getting you out of those jeans was going to be a two person job.  

Soon you were laying back on your (now perfectly made) bed, naked from the waist up; both of you fighting with the skin tight fabric, your inebriated hands being absolutely no help to the efforts. Your body shook with giggles watching your saint of a boyfriend tug on each leg of your pants, willing them to move, as he swore about how he was going to have to cut you out of them.

“Your neighbors are going to think we're going to town on each other,” he grumbled as he inched them down your legs.

“Nothing out of the ordinary then,” you laughed and wiggled your legs when you were finally free from their hold.

“I’m assuming you want this?” he asked, moving to take off his large tshirt, revealing first his ferns, then his butterfly, and then your favorite little swallows. After a feverish nod, you lifted your hands up and he slipped his shirt onto your smaller frame, enveloping you in the soft fabric and your favorite smell in the world.

“Smells like home,” you mumble while burying your nose in the fabric, unsure if he heard you.

“Oi, you’re going to stain it with your makeup,” he scolded. “Let’s get all that off.”

Sitting you down on the edge of the tub, you watched as he shuffled around the bathroom, frequently looking back to your face to examine his task. He looked at you like your face of makeup was a puzzle to be solved or a mountain to scale.

“I can just sleep in it and deal with it in the morning,” you said in between bites of the chocolate chip cookie you had stolen off the kitchen counter.

“We both know I’ll get in trouble if I let you sleep in it.”

“Probably,” you shrugged without paying much attention to him, mainly enamored by the cookie that was beginning to disappear.

Kneeling down in front of you, wielding a wash cloth soaked in makeup remover, Harry began to softly rub at your makeup. His touch was delicate and tender, careful not to get any in your eyes or hair line. He took his time, moving in soft circles, cleaning away the mask you had put on for the occasion. His breath handed softly on your face and you scanned his face, appreciating this time to take him in.

He was so beautiful. His eyebrows were gently brought together and his tongue would swipe over his lips every so often in focus. His eyes were deep and green, flecked with brown and blue, and framed by long black eyelashes you would kill for. Your eyes swiped around his face connecting his constellation of freckles and you reached up to brush your hands against the light stubble that had begun to show against his jaw line. You let your hand fall to his bare shoulder, stabilizing yourself against his strong build. His skin was soft and tan and perfect.

Your lips had a mind of your own when you said it. A verbalized moment of sheer honesty and adoration. You didn’t mean to say it. It just slipped out.

“I love you, H.”

You could take it back, but that would be lying and probably hurt his feelings. You could double down and keep talking, but your hazy thoughts couldn’t come up with anything else to say at the moment. Your third option was saying nothing. You picked the third.

He paused for a moment when he processed what you said, his eyebrows shooting up and giving you an amused look. A closed lipped grin played on his lips and he continued on with his task, wringing out the towel over the tub and going back in to dry your face.

If you had been sober, you would have absolutely panicked. You would have run out of the bathroom and buried yourself under your sheets, embarrassed of what you just did. But you were hanging on for dear life to your buzz, pretending like everything was perfectly peachy and you didn’t just accidentally tell your boyfriend of only a few months that you loved him.

“That’s good. Because I love you too,” he beamed, all exhaustion gone from his voice.

Hope you liked it as much as I loved writing it :) My ask box is open with any feedback you may have! 

[obeiii-mee]

Hi! Im new to your page and i love your writing 💕 i have a request for demon brothers headcanons on how they treat MC after realizing they get anxiety from things like yelling/loud abrupt noises/ things like that? For example, they flinch, get quiet, or start fidgeting? Thank you!!!

Aww, thank you so much. That means a lot to me and I’m really glad you like my writing considering I have such a chaotic style lmao. Also, welcome to this mess of a blog. We give off ‘cult’ vibes but at least we have hot, fictional demons to make up for that.This was super sweet because I know for a fact every single one of them would be very understanding of MC’s anxiety of anything.

Enjoy!

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The Brothers with an MC that gets anxiety from loud/abrupt noises:

Lucifer:

-He may not get anxiety from it, but Lucifer definitely prefers a quiet atmosphere/environment where he can focus on his work

-Which makes living with his brothers a living nightmare because they don’t have the capability to shut the fuck up

-That being said, he catches on rather quickly that you do not feel comfortable around loud noises in general

-There’s a limit to what he can do but every time you feel like you need a bit of peace and quiet, know that you are more than welcomed into his office at any time of the day. Even if he isn’t there

-He definitely prioritises your mental as well as your physical well being seeing as living with demons can have a massive effect on your sanity

-He’s not judgemental about it either because, while he doesn’t understand why loud noises may cause you to be so anxious, he understands that humans are built differently to demons

-Lucifer has no chill at times and will tell all of his brothers off every time they make a big scene, whether in public or private

-He can be a tad overprotective at times but he means really well, especially if he sees you’ve gotten oddly silent for the past few minutes or has caught wind of you fidgeting during dinner

-I don’t know how much I stressed so far about the observation skills this man has but I will keep doing, he can spot you flinching at loud noises from a mile away

Mammon:

-I believe that he can read people really well and can recognise when a person is feeling a certain way

-But he’s still a complete dumbass so he might still miss a few clues hidden in your mannerisms

-Like, he realises you’re uncomfortable but he doesn’t understand the degree of it or why it exists

-You’ll have to be blunt about it and tell him about your deal with loud noises because otherwise he will be stressing about it for weeks on end

-Dating him as a result of your anxiety over loud noises can prove to be...difficult

-He’s a very boisterous and obnoxious being, everytime a particular emotion of his flares up, he gets significantly noisier

-Whenever he enters the room you happen to be in, you’re forced to cover your ears and flinch because he has a way of announcing his presence

-But he tries so incredibly hard to act calmer around you and he so hates it when he fails to do so because he knows how uncomfortable you get as a result of him screaming like an idiot

-His brothers usually blame him when you start fidgeting because they assume he’s the cause of your rising anxiety and he started to believe it as well

-He sees that look on your face and he is just gutted

-He is ready to get on his knees and start apologising profusely until you forgive him for being such a noisy bastard

-The times other things/people are the cause of you going weirdly quiet, he will use his threatening tactics

-“Listen ‘ere, you’re makin’ my human uncomfortable so if you don’t shut the fuck up, I won’t let you see the light of day again. Do ya hear me?!?!”

-He says to the godfather clock when the sound of it striking midnight startled you

Levi:

-He 100% understands

-He hates loud noises as well and they usually make him scamper back to his room lol a rat in hiding

-Levi is slightly more immune to them however seeing as his brothers do have a habit of raising their voices all the time

-But do not worry, human, for he will protect his Henry from the annoying sounds people in general make at the cost of his life

-Take shelter in his room, please

-He loves having you in there and usually you only have the noise of video games in the background

-If you’re there and an anime he’s watching is getting too loud, he will turn it down for you ahead of time

-Sometimes, he can be as noisy as his brothers, especially when he rages at one of his games

-Bu he’s so quick to shut up once he realises you’re there

-And then, like Mammon, would start apologising for being not only an ugly otaku but an obnoxious one at that

-So y’all end up comforting and cuddling each other because.....uh....mutual hatred for loud things?

-Also, he would decapitate his brothers for you if they crossed a line (like he’s not really a Yandere but he’s a demon with demonic instincts to protect I guess)

Satan:

-Much like his father eldest brother, Satan also prefers silence in general

-After all, it’s a lot easier to read when his brothers aren’t there to muck about the place and make too much noise

-Humans are very different to demons, especially psychologically speaking and he understand that

-That’s why he doesn’t question it when you follow him into the library to seek refugee from his siblings

-If anything, he’s rather happy he gets to spend some time with you so the two of you sit in silence, each of you doing your own separate thing

-He knows if something is bothering you again, he can probably notice you suddenly start fidgeting in public

-He’s very cautious with you when you are in this state as he deems you are at your most vulnerable

-One time, a teacher at RAD raised his voice too high while scolding you for not paying attention and that earned an involuntary flinch from you

-That guy was officially on Satan’s shit list from then on, just so ya know

-Overall, he’s very sweet and patient with you and absolutely does not mind spending an entire day with you indoors away from loud noises

Asmo:

-He has no problem with loud noises whatsoever

-If anything, he loves being in crowded public places like The Fall, since partying and socialising is one of his many talents

-Not to mention, he’s so used to own family being so loud it just doesn’t affect him that much

-However, when you first arrived and he noticed just how badly you reacted to loud noises, he started avoiding things like clubbing as if it were the plague every time he hanged out with you

-Asmo needs social contact but he is more than willing to spend time indoors with you if it makes you feel better

-Or going out shopping in a relatively quiet shopping centre

-I mean, getting his nails done with you by his side sounds absolutely amazing to him

-So as much as he loves making noises and spending time in rowdy places, he’s always going to make an exception with you

-Always

Beel:

-Beel is unbothered by noise

-Sure, he does like it better when his brothers aren’t fighting and things are peaceful around the house

-But, he’s not fazed by yelling, loud music, heavy things falling and thudding against the ground etc.

-He picks up on your anxiety riddled gestures the first time Lucifer has a go at his brothers in front of you

-Because you started fidgeting like crazy and in that moment he was the only one that saw it

-So Beel grabbed your hand and led you outside of the room and Lucifer was so caught up in the moment he didn’t even realise it

-Probably, maybe he just let it go

-Basically, Beel decides that he shall protect you, the tiny human in comparison with him, from any loud noises that might startle you

-He will do it, do not test him

-One time, Mammon was screaming because he was chased by the witches and it made you flinch enough for Beel to see

-A couple hours later, Mammon disappears completely and shows up at your door, looking absolutely traumatised but genuinely apologetic and says sorry

-Sometimes people forget Beel is a demon

Belphie:

-I’m gonna make a wild assumption and presume that if you are vulnerable to loud noises, you are very likely a light sleeper

-If that is the case, (apologies if you’re not) then Belphie would be very quick to notice because a lot of shit goes down at night time and most of the time, it’s loud

-Belphie doesn’t have a problem with it, he can sleep through anything, even his brothers and especially Lucifer

-But he definitely notices if you aren’t cuddled up to him any more, even if he was asleep, because you sat up in bed suddenly at a random noise at 3am

-Note: That was Asmo sneaking back into the house trying to be as quite as possible but tripping and breaking a window

-“You’ll have to get used to that. My brothers are idiots, they don’t know when to be silent.”

-He prefers quiet places like the attic so he can actually sleep, but again, could do so either way so it doesn’t matter to him

-But he is going to be...let’s say ...upset.... if you were to wake up from a nap session because of someone something

-“Make one more sound and I’ll rip your tongue out.”

-Even when you aren’t napping, he gets very angry when people get unnecessarily loud, especially with you reaction

-But that just gives him an opportunity to bring you to the attic or something so the two of you can actually chill by yourselves for a chance

-Beel is invited obviously, but Belphie is just as happy to be left by himself with you

-Ironic how much his feelings for you have changed, huh?

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So I really finished this by the end of the week. Hope this is actually some good because I spent all of my brain cells on an another giant request I’m working and the rest were used to write this. Thank you for sending me requests though guys! Now every time I get bored I can just answer your asks. Have a nice Monday!

Al~