#it's honestly really good pay-off in terms of writing

[rachelfoleyisntdead]

Dead Island 2 spoilers:

rip Amanda Styles, you little psycho brat. The Armada salutes you, bestie.

[marcsnuffy]

as the tumblr's resident snuffy expert I have to ask you what you think snuffy and lorenzo's actual legal relationship is (like did he take on the role of his guardian or is he technically more of a sponsor) and furthermore what you think their dynamic is like behind the scenes. like even if you accept the idea that snuffy is more of a father figure to lorenzo than an employer there's no way that this guy who was a homeless orphan until he was a teenager and the man who took him in *on the basis that he be athletically successful* have like. a normal unremarkable parent-child dynamic

Thanks for the question, sorry about the yapping

I'm torn on how to answer the legal relationship question. To me, it depends on how old you think Lorenzo is during the flashback. I always thought he was around 15-16, so I rarely consider an option where Snuffy isn't his legal guardian. However I could see some PIFA fuckery involved to avoid any legal trouble in the case he didn't have a legal guardian involved before becoming an adult legally.

Even then the process for getting gold teeth takes more than one day (all the visits you need to get your teeth properly checked for the procedure, the healing process takes months and more visits, etc) and he was near death so I'd like to think he was taken care/supervised of by Snuffy during that time (which is why Lorenzo's so attached to him). (the amount of care is up to interpretation bc it's hc territory anyway)

After that, when Lorenzo started playing football, *then* it's more of a sponsor/employer/advisor?/mentor? situation that occasionally bleeds into guardian-adopteé territory but never completely. I think they had something similar to how Ray Dark ended up dropping Kaiser at the BM dorms, except I think Snuffy directly had a hand in training/teaching Lorenzo before and still kept somewhat in contact during. I also like to think he got him a tutor or something, but this is more so I can sleep well at night. Snuffy IS the "what will you do when football's no longer an option" guy anyway so it's not unrealistic.

I need to add somewhere in this post that I believe/know in my heart that Snuffy picking up Lorenzo happened a bit after Mick died (months, maybe a year max) and specifically because of it. Comparing dead Mick & almost dying Lorenzo was super common when ch. 229 came out so I won't elaborate much on it, I just wanted to mention it.

Dynamics wise... There's too much going on for them to be in a normal boss and employee situation, Snuffy isn't fazed by Lorenzo's antics at all, Lorenzo goes up to Barou* to convince him to succeed Snuffy while also bringing up Snuffy's promise to Mick and also just everything about Lorenzo's reaction to Snuffy going back on his retirement, he literally told Barou he loved him & offered him a gold tooth. I don't think he says that to anyone yknow

*and by the way this interaction always stands out to me, since the timeline of events is not clear at all. all bc the fucking blue lock building is built like a prison and idk what time it is. I think Snuffy&Barou´s conversation happened at least some hours or a day after the Ubers introduction bit. During Lorenzo's backstory dump they're wearing pajamas but then Snuffy tells them it's time to train, so I assume it's the morning after that. Anyway I wonder if Snuffy just told him about it or if he directly asked him to talk to Barou. I feel like it's the former (given their reactions to Barou accepting Snuffy's deal) but the setup kinda makes it feel like the latter. whatever it was I think it's evidence for me to say that Snuffy trusts Lorenzo.

And I feel like there's nothing direct I can point to to say they're close enough to have a regular parent and child relationship. Still I feel like just by having Lorenzo be a NG11 and the fact that he enjoys football and doesn't scream cry and throw up when he loses or when he is inconvenienced (THE BAR IS ON HELL) makes me think Snuffy is mostly a positive influence on him. I like to think Snuffy does care a lot about him but he's the type of guy that shows it by meddling (kinda like Reo or younger Sae (who wasn't much of a meddler iirc. this makes sense in my mind)) and just isn't that visibly affectionate with anyone anymore.

More about the father and son thing. This is also headcanon territory I'm sorry. I don't think they, like, go out fishing as a bonding thing or anything like that. but I do think they don't go a week w/out talking bc I think Snuffy's a bit neurotic about how the people he cares about are doing because of reasons and Lorenzo loves talking people's ears off about everything and nothing. I think Lorenzo tried giving him an expensive gift with one of his first paychecks and mentioned "paying back his debt bit by bit" as a joke that wasn't really a joke and Snuffy's face twisted & he said something along the lines of Lorenzo not owing him anything and it was awkward between them for a while after that. I think its fucking WEIRD but they care abt each other and that's what matters

TL;DR: I think there had to be a point where Snuffy was his legal guardian or at least acted like it to some degree. In regards to their dynamic behind the scenes, that is not a father that is a grieving tutor-guardian-mentor-advisor-employer-professional football player and his renowned domesticated possum employee/adopteé who is soooooooo normal about worth.

[scr11bles]

Hiii!

Can I get f!Reader x sniper tf2 who ordered Irish coded with a side of black forest gateau ?

order up for anon! wanna order something for yourself? here's the menu!

- irish coffee: "Fuck, that's a good girl." + black forest gateau: cockwarming

cw: poor attempt at an australian accent through writing

word count: 1,957

(MDNI below the cut!!)

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The climb to Sniper's nest was always a difficult one, and it always led you to be weak in the knees and out of breath. Gasping for air, you ascend to the last rung, your boots thudding against the creaking wooden flooring of the nest. At the sound, Sniper's head whips around and stares at you from behind his dark aviator shades, making you freeze in place as his sharp eyes always seem to put you off and cause your heart to stutter.

"Let's get to it, there's an extra rifle over there."

Right- The reason you were up here in the first place. Your class was, for a less of a better term, a jack of-all trades. You've spent time with all the other mercs and learned their skills, able to replicate their duties to a t. Now it was Sniper's turn to teach you, and honestly, you were more excited to spend time with him than the others. Sure, you didn't really spend the most time with him since you joined the team, but that didn't mean you haven't acknowledged each other. A few shared packs of ammunition during battles here and leftover coffee from the pot for the other there, the two of you really just helped each other through the courtesy of being teammates. At least that's what you chalked it up to.

You grab the spare rifle off of one of the crates nearby, fidgeting with it in your hands and inspecting the weapon before walking over to Sniper and sitting down on the stool next to his. You glance at at the man next to you expectantly, nervously glancing at the him before you see him nod to your hold on the rifle. Lifting up the rifle you hold it steady, peering down the scope and looking out of the large opening where a window used to be, noticing the various targets scattered around the grounds below. Your body jerks when you feel Sniper place his hand on your back, and you swear you could hear him let out a quiet huff of a laugh, but chalk it up to your nerves, letting your teammate adjust your posture into a straight one.

"You want a straight back and squared shoulders, otherwise the kick will make ya' hurt.

You nod your head, immediately taking a brief note in your head at his instruction, and pull back from your view down the scope and glance at Sniper before noticing that he's bringing his other had up and adjusting your hold on the rifle. Fighting the urge to squirm as you watch his much larger hand and long fingers curl over yours, you watch intently, somewhat paying attention to how he changes where your grip stays on the rifle. Sniper stares at your hold around the gun with narrowed eyes behind his shades before he grunts and nods his head to the targets out the opening below.

"Alrigh', try to take a shot."

Sniper mumbles next to you, moving his gaze out towards the targets as you peer down the scope and pick a one. It isn't like you haven't shot a gun before, but for some reason the pressure to make this shot felt especially intense. With a quick inhale and a slow exhale you squeeze the trigger, feeling the rifle kick back into your shoulder while watching the bullet fly out towards the target, missing it by a hair and running into the dirt while kicking up dust around it. Embarrassment floods through your veins and you don't even dare look at Sniper. Sure, you didn't think you'd be perfect right away- but completely missing the target? Fuck.

"S'alright roo, wasn't much of a shot either when I started out."

And there it was, that little nickname he gave you after your time of being on the team. Sure, it was probably just a friendly term of endearment between friends, but damn did it make you flustered. You swallow nervously and nod your head, sending him a small glance before reloading quickly and picking another target. Following your same routine of breathing in and out, you squeeze the trigger again, flinching at the kickback while watching the bullet whizz through the air and hit the target straight on. Headshot.

"There she is- nice shot roo."

Sniper places a hand on your shoulder and jostles you, a small rare smirk tugging at his lips as he looks down at you. You give the man a lopsided smile back, glancing back forwards and scoping in once more, picking a farther target and swiftly reloading before pulling the trigger. Once more, the shot whiffs and drills into the dirt, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake. You scowl and curse under your breath and actually hear Sniper chuckle audibly at your response to missing, keeping his hand on your shoulder and squeezing it.

"You got it. Again."

And that's how it went for a few solid hours, missing and successfully hitting headshots along with Sniper's guidance. After another solid headshot on one of the farthest targets, Sniper glances down at you, simply watching the focused triumphant look that spreads across your face when you aim for the kill. The man clears his throat and looks away from you, tipping the brim of his hat up with his thumb and adjusting his aviators before breaking your concentrating silence.

"You're gettin' good roo. But can you handle distractions?"

Sniper questions, making you furrow your eyebrows and glance up at him. Distractions? Like gunfire and explosions, teammates screaming for a medic?- you ask him. Sniper makes a 'kinda' gesture with his hand before moving it to your shoulder once more before trailing it down to the small of your back. Oh. Those kinds of distractions. You swallow shakily and shake your head; no, you haven't had these kinds of distractions before, but who said they were unwanted? Sniper smirks softly and moves his hand to shift underneath your shirt, the man chuckling to himself as he sees and feels the goosebumps spreading across your skin immediately from his touch. Sniper snakes his hand around to your stomach, thumbing the fabric of your pants and underwear before pushing his hand down beneath them, brushing his calloused fingers over your clit. When you jerk and stifle your moan, Sniper tsks at you and grabs your chin, forcing you to keep your eyes forwards.

"Uh-uh I still need to see you firin', love. Get to it."

With a pathetic groan you oblige, trying to still your shaking hands as Sniper moves his fingers through your wet folds, praying to whoever resides above that your face isn't visible burning right now while you hold back your sounds from escaping your lips. You right your position, squaring your shoulders and straightening your back as you prepare to take a shot at one of the farther targets in the distance, aligning your shot with shaky arms and exhaling as you squeeze the trigger. At the last second of your movement, Sniper pushes one of his fingers into you, making you gasp and twitch which causes your grip to falter and your arms to shift. The bullet you fired misses by a long shot, making you grit your teeth and turn to glare at Sniper who just looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Better adapt, roo. We can't have you gettin' distracted out there."

With a groan you reload shakily, letting the faintest of whimpers escape past your lips as Sniper pushed another finger into you. You feel your body twitch and squeeze around him as he starts to move his fingers, his long digits pressing into your sweet spot that makes you keen. You whimper as you look down the scope of the rifle once more, trying to slow your breathing in an attempt to soothe your beating heart as you pick a target in the distance, desperately trying to ignore the way Sniper's fingers reach every sensitive nook and cranny inside of you.

When you squeeze the trigger to shoot, Sniper thrusts his fingers into you, making sure to drag his fingertips across the sweet spongy spot in your cunt. While the action does make you jerk, you bite your bottom lip and steel your hold on the rifle in your hands, ensuring that the bullet keeps forwards. With the sound of a sharp crack in the distance, you're able see through the cloud of dust where you see that your shot went straight through the target's head; headshot.

"Looks like we're adjusted to that already. C'mere then, love."

Sniper whistles lowly as he looks at your shot in the distance, withdrawing his fingers from your dripping pussy and licking them before he starts to undo his belt haphazardly and undo his pants as well. He takes his weeping cock from out of his pants, smirking and chuckling lightly at the look on your face- like you want to devour him. Sniper grabs your wrist and forces you to stand up in front of him, his deft fingers making quick work of your pants and panties before he tugs you into his lap so you face the same way he does.

Sniper rests his chin on your shoulder, his warm breath ghosting the back of your ear as he guides himself into you slowly. You feel him go all the way to the hilt, your legs twitching as he fills you completely and then some. As your cunt twitches around Sniper, he groans into your neck, moving his hands up to rest over yours as you continue to hold the rifle in your grasp.

"Let's keep at it, yeah roo? Get some good shots in and I'll move f' ya."

With that incentive, you inhale and exhale shakily while reloading with shaky hands, watching how Sniper's hands go along with your movements as he rests his hands above yours. You attempt to straighten your back but squirm as you feel the new angle Sniper's cock hits you at from the change, causing a low whimper to emit from your throat as you look down the scope of the rifle in your hands to pick a target to shoot at. With a sharp gasp, you hastily pull the trigger after aiming correctly. Despite Sniper suddenly bucking his hips up into yours, thinking you'd crack under his pressure of movements, you stay (somewhat) collected and keep your arms steady. A sharp crack sounding through the air as the bullet flies toward the target, hitting it dead on the targets head.

"Fuck, that's a good girl. excellent shot."

Sniper purrs deep into your ear, the praise making your limbs feel like jello as he lazily thrusts his hips up into yours, giving you the stimulation you craved as you sit wrapped around his cock. Your teammate nuzzles into your neck, giving your throat a soft nip while he squeezes your wrist.

"How about two more, yeah?"

Sniper smirks into your neck and grumbles out his words, only allowing you to nod your head in response as you reload once more. Just as you exhale to take your shot, Sniper snakes one of his hands down to brush over your clit in tandem with short thrusts. the new movements make your arms grow weak, your grip on the rifle loosening as you pull the trigger. The bullet flies far away from your intended target, burying itself into the rocky ground in a cloud of dirt and dust. You hear Sniper chuckle into your neck as his fingers continue to draw lazy circles on your clit, making your body twitch and convulse with each brush.

"Too bad roo. Gimme four more now."

You're not gonna last like this if he keeps playing this game. Though, you think he won't really either.

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sorry for the blueballs ahh cutoff, i have more requests that i wanna get out tonight. ps: i love sniper he is my favorite despite the pee jar situation

[thecoolerliauditore]

I need your thoughts on Martyn.

Jesus Christ in heaven where to start.

I was planning to write massive essay posts about each of the winners sooner or later, I guess Martyn can skip the queue. As a treat.

BAD traffic series martyn analysis post don't read. LONG POST

note: rules I'm operating by are to keep the analysis primarily traffic-based (although this one's kind of an exception because. mr watcher lore) and I'm not rewatching entire POVs so stuff might be wrong so on so forth

Why is he... Like that?

So before I even start talking about 3L I feel the need to address Martyn's background first because, not unlike alot of the other members of the cast, Martyn's previously established relationships from series like Evo have a significant impact on how he behaves.

This is kind of difficult for me to talk about because it breaks my "no material outside of the traffic series" rule for these essays specifically, but I think it's honestly just more fun incorporating Martyn's off-series lore drops and such into his character instead of leaving them out.

So here's the basis I work from -- Martyn is the most unreliable narrator in a full cast of them. His lore is his character's version of events, not an unbiased retelling.

Whether the Watchers exist and whether they're the same entities present in Evo doesn't matter all that much, since all we know is that they are very real to Martyn, at least. Taking the lore as Martyn's POV also helps iron out some of the more awkward creases it creates when viewing the series as a whole (e.g. Grian's involvement with the Watchers surely means he would reference them himself, yet he doesn't) and lays the groundwork for some really interesting things about Martyn himself when you try to put the dots together on how he arrived at these conclusions. I'll be referencing these as they come up chronologically.

So, without over complicating things, here are the rules I'm playing by when it comes to pre-3L Martyn:

Evo did really happen with the same people, however the exact details are muddy.

Martyn knew Jimmy prior to the games and the two already had some sort of personal connection going in.

We're not trusting a word out of his mouth. Especially if he says them on stream. But we are going to acknowledge what those words are.

With those parameters set, let's move on:

Third Life, and the guy who gets a little too into it

Like Grian, Martyn immediately acclimates to the game's survival-based mechanics. Martyn spends a good chunk of the first session of 3L seemingly aimless, but he makes observations and choices throughout that show he has survival at the back of his mind (e.g. him quickly establishing an alliance with Grian and Bigb while sneakily putting them in his debt through the diamonds he finds early -- even if this doesn't end up paying off to anything).

Unlike Grian however, Martyn less desperately clings onto a need for an edge to survive and seems almost comfortable in playing the game. A running theme for him throughout all the seasons will be that he seems to feel most comfortable when he has some amount of unspoken power over others, whether that be something as silly as testing the waters with his creeper soundboard or later when he starts playing 4D chess with himself in regard to his loyalties.

"Power" might be not exactly the right word for what Martyn yearns for, but it's the best word I can find to really describe it. He's always the one with a card up his sleeve or a plan B or, arguably most importantly, the one with control over the situation and responsibility over his own and others' wellbeing.

In my mind, at least, I think it might be a consequence of Martyn actually being quite sensitive in terms of relationships and having this very deep-seeded need to protect his loved ones from harm but lacking the emotional intelligence necessary to allow himself to be vulnerable about those feelings and communicate properly. So instead he finds some way to protect himself emotionally (usually overdramatic and makes him way worse) and treats everyone including himself with a level of un-seriousness that alleviates the tension for him.

If I were to dig deeper into this specific point I must say Martyn seems to have chosen to perform a very specific breed of masculinity, with his constant agonizing need to protect and lead while not having to confront his own perceived weaknesses, and alot of his insecurities and frustrations come from being denied that husband-y role to play.

His interactions with Jimmy early on in 3L portray this side of him quite plainly. After seeing Scott hit him around at Renchanting, Martyn gets Jimmy alone and asks him if he's okay but after Jimmy dodges the question, Martyn quickly becomes frustrated and starts acting very overdramatic (e.g. threatening to cut Jimmy off, "I can't look at you", so on) even as Jimmy keeps insisting they keep talking.

In my humble opinion, it's clear to me from how he speaks to Jimmy in this scene and further on, and from his referencing of their Evo relationship, that this is these two's established dynamic - the way Martyn dramatizes everything feels almost as if he were making a joke of it, teasing Jimmy, almost akin to how an older sibling or very old friend would act. It's possible that Martyn didn't expect Jimmy to take any of his threats seriously (although he definitely was laying on the pressure to try and get him to agree in the moment) and that's why he's so taken aback when Jimmy does act almost afraid of him from this point forward.

Not once does Martyn ever verbalize his own feelings regarding the matter. He never says that he's scared or worried for Jimmy, or even makes any sort of subjective judgment on Scott's character for hitting Jimmy in the first place. He makes it all about Jimmy, never communicating *why* he is doing what he's doing which ends up giving off the impression he thinks he knows what's best for him, which of course never communicates to Jimmy that Martyn cares for or loves him and ends up pushing him away as a result.

Speaking of Scott, despite Martyn clearly not approving of the way he treats Jimmy (judging from the aforementioned conversation and his later lore streams where he essentially calls Scott and Jimmy's marriage a sham), he does not ever act antagonistically towards Scott. Which I think is indicative of another key trait of Martyn's - an almost uncanny ability to push aside his own feelings at least momentarily for the sake of the game.

Martyn does not speak badly to or about Scott. He even explores the nether with him very early on and the two literally joke about trapping the Flower Valley and killing Jimmy together.

I think there's an understanding and perhaps a level of respect, on Martyn's end, towards Scott. One of the first observations he makes about Scott's base, after all, is its defensive location and Scott, like Martyn, values his own competency and likes to pretend he's more emotionally unattached to his partner than he really is (the parallels between Martyn/Ren and Scott/Jimmy are even somewhat lampshaded by Martyn himself when he refers to them as "my red" (Ren) and "your red" (Jimmy) later).

It seems that Martyn doesn't dislike anything innate to Scott's nature, and even has love for his manipulative traits. If it were anyone other than Jimmy Scott was hitting, I'd argue, Martyn wouldn't have raised a fuss about it. Not to mention, there's also a sense of "keeping your enemies closer" when it comes to these two, as both seem acutely aware the other is useful on their side and a threat anywhere else.

I'd argue despite the fact he's able to push his dislike towards Scott aside, he definitely still feels spiteful towards him, as he ends up hunting him down pretty mercilessly come the end of the series (after Jimmy dies too - so perhaps there was also a level there of feeling the need to put up with Scott beforehand as he was Jimmy's only ally, but now that Jimmy's gone there isn't any need to be friendly with Scott anymore.)

Now onto the heavy-hitter Martyn 3L relationship - his dynamic with Ren.

I'll be honest I think most treebark shippers have summed up their relationship way better than I could. You could probably go into the tag and see thirty eight analysis posts more indepth and accurate than mine. However I will say that one thing I see rarely mentioned is this very obviously being Martyn's first time meeting Ren (I'm talking about characters here but here is your acknowledgement this is definitely a result of this literally being the case for the CCs).

He's not used to Ren's mannerisms -- during their first meeting, Ren says his usual "ex-squeeze me" (instead of "excuse me") and Martyn responds "no thankyou, I'm married". Not to get too into it as this is The Martyn Post but Ren's POV would imply the same since he sees Martyn's name in chat and he immediately starts theorizing about what kind of player he is.

I think Ren essentially being a stranger to Martyn at the start of the series makes it easier for him to act manipulatively and keep him at arm's length, as well as be in denial about the whole emotional attachment thing. For so much of their alliance during 3L Martyn is acting, performing to match Ren's vibes, except he's not.

^this quote and the concept of freudian slips informs like 88% of my worldview, if anyone's wondering why I'm. like that.

"The Hand" is very much not how Martyn naturally acts or behaves, down to the change in speaking patterns. It's a persona that I think both Ren and Martyn never take too seriously or mistake for Martyn's authentic self, but it's also something Martyn uses to express his innermost feelings he disallows himself from usually. Yes it's all silly even in-universe but I think there's something special about how he constantly expresses his devotion as The Hand, even if he's doing it with a layer of irony. Plus, I think it says something that, jumping later in the timeline, his flashbacks in LimLife are much more true to the character of The Hand than Martyn himself.

This section is already long enough but I do have to mention Bigb, Grian and Scar or I'll explode.

Earlier on, I touched on Martyn giving Grian and Bigb diamond swords early and it being an attempt to leverage an alliance between them. This I admit might be a slight reach however the reason I say that is Martyn continues to pursue Bigb and Grian as allies throughout the season.

Bigb is cut and dry enough, he ends up floating around the outside of Dogwarts as a not-quite-member after the siege in which pretty much half the sever were antagonized by Grian and Scar. I'm probably not the person to thoroughly dissect Martyn/Bigb but there's something interesting there about how alot of people tend to have this general fondness towards Bigb and Martyn is no exception.

As for Grian, Martyn acknowledges that Grian is responsible for the siege, possible moreso than Scar, but keeps questioning how "gone" he is, worded as if he believes Scar is manipulating him. I've seen people compare this to how he acts towards Jimmy and Scott which I can definitely see the throughline. However, I think while both are an example of Martyn's protector/saviour complex, they are innately different due to Martyn's relationships with both the perceived victim and captor in each case.

Despite Grian also being an ex-Evo member, Martyn does not act towards him with the same familiarity he does with Jimmy. He also brings up Grian's welfare with Bigb and not Grian himself, with Bigb being the other person involved in their earlier established sword alliance. To me, it feels as if Martyn is more testing the waters for if he can still get Grian on his side than out of any genuine concern for Grian, although it is possible he's projecting some of those leftover feelings regarding Jimmy's situations onto Grian and Scar.

The other reason is, I think, Martyn might genuinely be afraid of Scar himself and villainizing him as a result. Everytime Scar shows up in Martyn's POV he's paired with tense music and sporadic editing that makes him appear more unhinged. Martyn has also said on tumblr he found Scar intimidating at the time, which is of course a dubiously canon source but I find it applicable enough.

It makes sense, too. When you compare Martyn's treatment of Scar vs his treatment of Scott. These are both people he has recognized as real threats and he assumes both are manipulating their respective partners, but while he remains friendly (at least outwardly) towards Scott he's constantly wary of Scar, drawing weapons on him pretty much on sight even before the siege.

I think Martyn fears Scar because he doesn't understand Scar. Scott is someone like him who he knows the inner workings of, or at least that's what he believes, so while he doesn't care for him he doesn't feel a need to keep him away. Martyn always assumes a level of coordinated malice from Scar that is more than often either completely unfounded or a result of something originating from Grian (my favourite example of this is, right before the siege, Scar wanders over with his bee on a lead and Martyn starts yelling "he's got a bee! what does that mean?!" as if expecting the bee has some pvp reason behind it. when scar just wanted to have a bee).

That isn't to say that Scar isn't malicious - Martyn is right like 90% of the time that Scar's not-so-subtle friendly hellos have some sinister plan behind them, but he doesn't ever truly get that Scar isn't the evil mastermind he thinks he is.

I'd argue this fear is what also makes Martyn not pick up on the fact that Grian is the more manipulative one out of the two - something that even Scott seems aware of - because he never spends enough time with them on friendly terms to be aware of that dynamic.

Last Life AKA big brother syndrome in full blast

Okay that was a long ass section sorry lmao have to establish everything there. Everything from here on is gonna be a lot cleaner I swear.

The Southlanders could honestly have their own ultra-long post about how they're the perfect disaster team-up lord of the flies esque situation the series has to offer.

Impulse, Grian and Martyn are all similar in that they understand they have to play the game a certain way through keeping their loyalties dubious while Mumbo, as a newcomer, is extremely naive and goes along with whatever the more assertive members of the group say. And Jimmy is Jimmy.

Martyn takes on a leadership role within the group, being the one to constantly spearhead their humour and come up with new often disruptive plans (usually targetting Scott because he totally isn't spiteful still, albeit in a very playful way). After Joel traps their base with tnt minecarts, Martyn is the one to keep everyone else back and disarm them, a huge contrast to 3L's siege.

Their group embraces the rules of the game - if you turn red, as Grian does early on, you are kicked out from the group as a threat. There's this sinking feeling throughout all their spyglass shenanigans and life-trade trust exercises that this is still an alliance in a death game and if you prove yourself to be a detriment, you will be kicked out.

It's no wonder than why Jimmy, who gets his usual bottom of the barrel treatment, tries to run away with Martyn's life during one of their trust exercises. He's been shown at this point he can't fully trust the Southlanders to protect him forever -- how could he, when Martyn, again, never slips in any sign of affection between the teasing?

To Martyn, however, this is a betrayal of his trust. His plea to Jimmy to return sounds a lot like their conversation back in 3L on the snowy mountain regarding Jimmy and Scott, except this time Jimmy accepts Martyn's offer and Martyn tells him he was lying, calling him an idiot for believing him in the first place. This is probably the harshest Martyn acts towards Jimmy in the series, but it's worth mentioning that to Martyn the timeline of events goes he offers Jimmy his protection and alliance--> Jimmy refuses--> Jimmy dies (which Martyn probably sees at least partially due to said refusal) --> he gets Jimmy back and does everything in his power to keep him safe --> Jimmy does the equivalent of *killing him* and tries to get away with it.

Martyn still obviously cares about Jimmy despite being upset at him, as after his usual dramatics and declaring a trial for Jimmy in which each of the Southlanders vote on his fate, Martyn still votes to keep Jimmy in the group (again, something Jimmy is never made aware of).

Possibly partially because of the Jimmy incident and the overall dog-eat-dog culture of the Southlanders, Martyn does to them what he never managed with Dogwarts - betrayal. At least, on some level.

Ironically, it's Ren he betrays them for, forming the Shadow Alliance and even giving the life Jimmy had attempted to steal from him to Ren instead. My read of this has always been that it supported Martyn truly being happy enough for Jimmy or someone else to have his extra life, but Jimmy's act of betraying him itself being what hurt him.

I think now's a good time to start mentioning the Watcher Lore, as here is where it starts kicking into gear. Martyn's claims of emotional bonds not carrying over from previous seasons is not only a very natural progression from his emotional distancing in a coping mechanism sense, but also enables him to betray Ren too later on and not have to confront the guilt that comes with that when he tries to lead him into a tnt trap in the final 1v1v1v1. However, he still cheers for Ren as a ghost and even says that he would be happy to see Ren win, indicating he really does not hold any malice towards him.

I've seen people make jokes about the watcher lore being Martyn schizoposting and I'm sure I've made similar jokes in the past but. Speaking very genuinely here Martyn's questionable sanity is a big part of his character to me.

His Episode 8 of LL literally begins with him acting out the usual running joke of him stealing Mumbo's intro, except Mumbo and Jimmy are dead at this point and he is doing their voices and talking to himself. When the illusion is broken, he panics and the video immediately cuts to him running around obviously distressed with a disembodied voice demanding things from him.

I'm obviously not authorized to diagnose every single one of Martyn's many mental illnesses, but I think mentally breaking down in a timeloop death game is a fairly average thing to happen to someone, and Martyn might be especially susceptible due to his aforementioned need for power and responsibility in every relationship (i.e. I'd like to think he feels some helplessness/guilt over Jimmy and Mumbo's deaths, leading to this sequence).

Not to mention, someone who is emotionally vulnerable coming up with a nebulous Group of Evil People who are the source of all the bad things in a helpless situation of violence is. Something that happens historically quite alot. To try and find reason in the madness is just a human instinct, I think.

One thing I feel like I should mention is his "marriage" with Mumbo which. I honestly don't see as anything more than a gag. Not that Martyn isn't a massive hypocrite but "marrying" Mumbo would be very much contradict what he has to say about Scott/Jimmy's situation. I do think he cares for Mumbo and potentially Mumbo's naivete served as incentive for Martyn to put on the usual assertive/provider role but I don't think there's much more than that (no hate to the shippers, tho, if they knew eachother for like a week longer they would've kissed)

Double Life. Oh no

Double Life Martyn is one of my favourite POVs in the series because it is. Hilarious. Unfortunately.

To start off, he is one of the players who almost immediately accepts the soulbound system as romantic and his views on Cleo/Scott's relationship are heavily based on that (I love that one clip where he mocks them in front of Jimmy).

Him acting flabbergasted at Cleo rejecting him despite pretty much having no relationship with her prior to this season is a really funny contrast to Scott and Pearl, especially when he continues pursuing her like they're recently divorced and Cleo's just like. rolling her eyes. It's all very performative on Martyn's end and why I mentioned his sense of masculinity at the start, because in theme with DL being The Feminism Season TM this is when it comes full throttle in display with the way he treats Cleo.

Martyn keeps referring to himself as a "provider" and refers to Cleo's relationship with Scott as "childish" -- Martyn trying to win over Scott's partner to his side, assuming he knows best for the partner and calling their relationship a sham? Does any of this sound familiar?

Cleo is not like Jimmy, however, and is very clear to Martyn in terms of what she wants from him - which is an apology, no diamond swords or heart-shaped houses, but Martyn in all his emotional denseness can't understand this and keeps assuming there must be some hidden strings attached.

I couldn't find the original meme I had in mind but these are within the same genre. The one I remember had captioned something like "dads don't say "i love you" but they will buy ten boxes worth of the fruit they overheard you say you liked once", which pretty much sums up Martyn's emotional intelligence to me. He would much rather give you way too much of something he thinks you need (e.g. with Jimmy the playful teasing, with Cleo the acts of service) than just say "I love you".

Cleo's blunt honesty serves as a stark contrast to Jimmy and brings something out of Martyn that we rarely ever see -- a genuine, vulnerable interaction in which he has to admit he's hurt. Cleo immediately denies him the role of rescuer he wants to play by telling him directly that she, not Scott, was the one who came up with the idea of teaming up and even gets Martyn to verbalize he's hurt by their actions and cares for her.

Once that illusion is shattered for Martyn and Cleo even admits she's acting manipulatively towards Scott, Martyn realises he and Cleo are more alike than he initially assumed and that he doesn't need to take care of her like he always tries to with his relationships. Ironically, the one relationship he has that is born almost entirely out of government mandated performative romance, is the one that gets him to examine how he views people especially his romantic interests the most.

This is, of course, all said with the fact that following this very heartfelt moment, the next time he speaks to Cleo he pushes her off a fucking cliff and kills her in mind. And the fact that he was very much beating the shit out of her and even called their relationship "toxic" himself early on in the season.

It's kind of hard to gauge Cleo and Martyn's relationship from this point forward but Martyn definitely chills on the namecalling and cooperates with Scott and Cleo for the main part going forward.

I think it's also worth mentioning that, despite Scott once again being the object of his spite, Martyn is once again friendly with Scott all season. When he catches Cleo and Scott mid-axe crit, it's Cleo he starts hitting and not Scott, despite them both being responsible. Behind his back, Martyn will claim Scott is "ruining" Cleo but to his face Martyn is always respectful. He actually even calls Scott "pretty"/"hot" in the last episode, which has some implications I'll talk about more in the Limlife section.

Martyn, like everyone else, is weird about Pearl. Uniquely in his case, Pearl isn't a witch nor demoness, but rather a non-factor he seems to have had written off and her triumph in the end comes as a shock to his system.

He dismisses her concerns over and over in the first episode as they are exploring together and, instead of seeing her as a natural source of allyship, doesn't value her enough to keep her around as an alliance even after Scott and Cleo dump them. In his heart to heart with Cleo, he even very randomly speaks badly of her, although he immediately seems to feel a bit of guilt over it.

He never seems to view Pearl through a sympathetic lens despite the two being in the same circumstance and, again in the same conversation with Cleo, they both agree that she could act as essentially a pawn (an "extra healthbar") for them like Cleo uses Scott.

I feel the need to clarify that while, yes I do believe Martyn is Weird About Women, I also do think he's honestly above average and sees them more as people than some other men in the series (note: my standards are not very high)

He sees most people as nothings that can be manipulated or competition that also can be manipulated, it just so happens that all the women in the series so far land squarely in the former and it took Cleo saying to his face "I'm taking advantage of Scott" for him to realise she wasn't a victim. However, even afterwards, he never treats her with the same competitiveness he has for people like Scott and Scar (albeit it makes enough sense in this season since she's attached to his healthbar, but this remains the same for future seasons). And as a reminder, he holds respect for those he deems as threats, which might have something to do with why he feels comfortable hitting Cleo but not Scott.

As for Ren and the Broken Hearts Club, they didn't get a lot of time together this season since both were preoccupied with their own soulmate dramas and being awful to Pearl but what we do see of them ranges from heartwarmingly nostalgic to a little bit hollow. Martyn saying to Pearl that they're the same at this point doesn't really read to me as him being truly sympathetic since this is post the "you should go use pearl as your second hp bar" conversation and Ren is way too busy to deal with the emotional turmoil of what's going on between himself and Bigb to really pay attention to Martyn.

Ren is still very kind to Martyn, especially considering the last time he saw him in LL Martyn was trying to kill him, but there's an emotional gap between the two that's very noticeable at least to me when compared to 3L and LL.

I think Martyn, at this point, convinced of his own "emotional bonds don't carry over seasons" logic, might be a bit too comfortable on relying on Ren. In both DL and LL he runs to Ren when his current alliance gets shaky and Ren is a source of definite comfort for him (as he said so himself on stream). Ren, as a source of comfort, is not a threat to Martyn aka not someone he needs to keep tabs so when said source of comfort falls through the gaps, you get:

Limited Life. The one where he compares himself to Joffrey from GOT

I don't think I have much to say about LimLife Martyn that hasn't already been said.

I will say I don't necessarily think Majorwood is purely his rebound relationship from Ren, the Mean Gills forming is very much not OOC for either Scott or Martyn (this is pretty much how they acted with eachother at the start of 3L) and their resulting give and take coworker-esque dynamic is a very natural place for them to end up from their previous interactions. Scott, like Martyn, tries to shed his emotional attachments with each new season so they are, in a very literal sense, making eachother worse by reinforcing that habit by normalizing it to eachother.

However, the parallels to their respective 3L partnerships I can't blame people for pointing out, right down to Martyn killing both Ren and Scott in the seaons he was teamed with them and the latter being happy about it.

I think it's time to say what I've been implying with Scott and Martyn throughout this whole thing and that is that they are eachother's ideal ally. They are both aware of the game, play the game, emotionally distant, manipulative and make themselves suffer more for that mindset. I don't think there was ever a moment in their allyship where either assumed the other wasn't going to stab them in the back later, despite the mutual respect they have being very real.

Martyn spends a lot of time this season just wandering around talking to various people, alot like how he acted in 3L before he and Ren became an official thing. It's almost as if, without Ren there, he loses his default go-to guy and is once again sizing up the competition around him.

The one exception I would say would be his interactions with Cleo, who he seems genuinely friendly with, even offering himself up as a "godfather" for the Clockers before the whole server became some form of extended family. You'd think this alliance would also have some basis in the ever present Scott/Cleo alliance but Scott's constant sacrifices for the Clockers are never discussed between him and Martyn, in fact the two of them rarely talk about anything ever past base-building and dolphin-wrangling, and the Clockers seem to treat them as two seperate entities rather than an alliance (e.g. Bdubs seems almost entitled to Scott's life after a certain point, but none of them ever even consider asking Martyn for time).

That, and of course the fact that Martyn kills Scott very unsympathetically towards the end, really point me in the "Martyn is still spiteful towards Scott" direction -- after all, alliance or no alliance, I don't think Martyn would want to be in the conversation with Scott where he tells him about his "love you back" exchange with Jimmy. Martyn certainly respects Scott, loves Scott I'd even say, but I don't know if he actually likes Scott.

I think it's also interesting that it's this season where Martyn's Watcher Lore interludes make a return, just in time for his source of comfort (Ren) to be missing.

Re: the watcher lore the comment Martyn makes about swapping out souls of players who are too "damaged" is very in line with his DL seeing women (and "weaker" men like Jimmy, Mumbo and, of course, Ren) as default victims as, knowingly or not, he implies through this that all the women in the series have souls too weak to withstand the horrors. This also in turn implies that he himself is not broken, which I think he'd like to believe.

Secret Life. It's happy again :D oh wait no

Secret Life starts with Martyn kissing Jimmy. I feel like we moved on from this way too fast in general I mean on the cheek or not he did kiss him he did literally kiss him.

I'll be honest I think the Big Dogs POV is the one I'm least familiar with out of all of these but from what I do remember it's very nice to see Martyn and Jimmy settling back into what seems like their Evo dynamic or even their pre-horrors LL dynamic.

Unfortunately Jimmy is not Cleo and thus cannot get Martyn to be the slightest bit vulnerable, so their dynamic remains stagnant and neither acknowledge the awkwardness that still resides between them.

Jimmy is at least very clearly holding onto some discomforts, judging by his behaviour late in the series when he acts aggressively towards Pearl and celebrates Lizzie dying. He even chases Scott down with a sword on horseback earlier on and, very early in one of Pearl's episodes, he quickly switches between sounding sad and angry.

It's clear to me at least SL Jimmy has reached some sort of breaking point, and this never gets acknowledged by Martyn (I like to think he just lacks the EQ to deal with it). This all cascades into Jimmy attempting to kill Martyn and running away before dying.

SL Martyn feels almost like, to me, the 3L Martyn who successfully convinced Jimmy to team with him and the disaster that comes with that. Martyn certainly has continued to be his survivalist self, not trusting outsiders to the point where when the Wither/Warden combo is unleashed, he immediately assumes they're picking off reds and goes to hide.

Weirdly enough, his protective tendencies towards Jimmy are pretty much gone. It's almost as if when he doesn't see an active threat (e.g. Scott) he assumes things must be good enough and leaves it at that, which also implies he can't comprehend that He might be detrimental to Jimmy himself.

Obligatory. Yes he still misses Ren. Him literally basing his alliance concept off of dogs is. hilarious. I'm so sorry babygirl.

Real Life is, again, non-canon to me but turns up the "dad who buys you 45 mandarins" energy to 11 with him being Ren and Skizz's pseudo-dad. I love Ren having a crisis about his own RP btw it's the funniest thing and he does it like. Everytime.

Uh yeah I hope that's long enough

[iisasxia]

heyyy, I really loved your post about the afro-latina reader, so I wanted to ask if you could do one about an afro Latina reader entering 1-a after being transfered to the school, and when she walks in he just cant take his eyes off her. You can either continue it or end it there, I just really love your writing

authors notes: this is so cute, i love love love this idea because he wouldn’t definitely be staring hard at reader and would probably be secretly cursing himself wondering what it is about her that’s making him feel this way. ah I love it and thank you sweetheart for the compliment, im so glad you love my writing I really appreciate it doll 💗💗

context: university au (18+), FLUFF

[8:35am]

You looked up at the large “UA” logo on the front of the school. You were aware the university was large but seeing it in person for your first time was completely different. It was the best university in Japan, you were blessed to have gotten in through recommendations and your parents making good money also helped with securing a good house local to the school.

The uniforms were super cute too, a white long sleeve button down, a dark blue tie, a slightly lighter shade of blue jacket, dark blue skirt, and socks that were black or tights. Since it was the middle of fall you chose to go with socks seeing as they were a bit thicker. You styled it with cute black flats to match your outfit and your pretty soft curls out in half up-half down with a bow in the back. Honestly you loved the uniform, it looked so good against your skin tone and your brown eyes always popped out in blue.

You took the steps to class as directed by the principal. You met him once on a video call when discussing the arrangements and acceptance for you in terms of being welcomed into U.A. Finally you reach the door… it’s huge you thought to yourself. You sighed before opening the door and stepping in.

—

“This is the new student, y/n. She was welcomed through recommendations and came all the way from […..], you will treat her as another classmate. Any issues involving her are solved through me.” Mr. Aizawa was always a bit monotone when he spoke, but he was so sweet to you.

Before he finished he activated his quirk, everyone tensing at the seriousness in his voice.

“Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Mr. Aizawa” it was a bit funny seeing everyone speak not only at the same time but so scared, you look over at him and notice him sigh.

“Welcome, please take a seat. The one in front of Bakugou is open, that’s the kid with the spiky blond hair.” He pointed as he directed you towards the seat.

“Thank you” you smile at him as he heads back to the front of the class and begins taking. You smile at the blond, Bakugou was it? He wasn’t even looking at you.. the minute you smiled he turned to face the window in what looked like disgust.

Mr. Aizawa had a formula on the board and offered a ‘get out of exam’ ticket for anyone who could finish it and solve it. You stuck up your hand confidently and so he chose you.

You walked up to the board, taking the chalk from his hand as you began solving it.

—

Sero cocked his head to the side when he noticed Bakugou intently staring at the board. It wasn’t unusual for Bakugou to be paying attention, he was top of the class and always took his academics seriously.. but it looked like he was staring at something else.

“What are you staring at?” the question from Sero caught Bakugou off guard as he sucked his teeth.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Despite his words his tone of voice was softer than usual.. Sero couldn’t help but glance at you and then back at Bakugou.

“She’s pretty isn’t she?” Sero smirks as he asks Bakugou.

Bakugou rolls his eyes but they never leave your figure as you continue writing on the board.

You are pretty, you’re captivating to look at, and no matter how much he wants to he can’t pull you from out of his point of view.

—

“Well done y/n.” Mr. Aizawa exclaims as he looks over your work on the board, you softly smile and find your way back to your seat.

As you get back to your seat you place your hands on your desk and without realizing your pencil stumbles off your notebook and onto the floor.

Landing right under Bakugou’s desk.

You turn around and apologize before bending down to pick it up, what you saw was him scoff and roll his eyes.

What you didn’t see was him place his hand on the corner of his desk to make sure you didn’t hit your head.

He thinks you didn’t notice but you did and as you sat down you smiled.

—

Class ended and everyone left. You packed up a little slower than usual and waited until everyone was gone, Bakugou being left. You step in front of him as he tried to walk past you.

“The hell is your problem?” He looks down at you, a slightly scowl on his face but you know he means no harm.

You stick your hand out to him.

“Im y/n, I wanna get to know you.”

His eyebrow quirks up as he looks at your hand.

“I know your name dumbass. Why should I care?” He crosses his arms and looks at you with a slight grin.

—

“Because judging from the way you stared at me in class and made sure I didn’t hit my head on the desk…

I know you wanna get to know me too.”

I am so sorry it took me so long to reply !! I had this in my drafts for a while but I’ve been moving into uni and taking classes so I’ve been sleepy and didn’t make that much time to write !! I’m trying to get back into it cause it’s very comforting but I hope this was okay for now, I plan on still writing for Afro-Latina reader. Thank you again for the request pretty 💗💗

[itsabouttimex2]

I love your platonic yandere writing! Your characterization and dialogue is one of my favorite things. You can tell you really thought hard about how these characters might get to this state. I wanted to say I also love your multi-target Primal Moon Sun Wukong! He's down from tens of thousands of subjects! Let him have a whole family to grab up and hoard! (RIP Y/N and Macaque. I'd say MK too, but honestly, Primal Moon MK seems pretty here for it lol.) (Also not gonna lie, Y/N is the center focus of course (and special RIP to them for being a human caught up in the middle of a group of monkeys! It's exactly as stressful and dangerous-feeling as it should be!), but Macaque's particular dynamic with Wukong and MK have caught me heart and soul here. The actual monkey social structures you're translating have really made this my favorite part of this AU, honestly. It's really good!)

Oh, thank you so much! I spend a lot of time cross-referencing my dialogue to that of the characters I write, so I’m glad my efforts have been paying off!

I really liked the idea of Sun Wukong going yandere for multiple people- part of his backstory is that he just wanted more and more.

So when his inhibitions are artificially stripped away, he sort of temporarily devolves in terms of character development, going back to “I want everything I can have!” but in a familial way, this time. So he builds himself a new troop for the week, no matter how much Y/N and Macaque might try to resist.

As you’ve said it, MK is living for this. One loving family member who doesn’t want to leave you under any circumstances (SW) and two who can’t. (You and Mac)

It helps that being second in command gives him a serious sense of control and power, which he does exert frequently.

I’m glad you think it felt stressful and dangerous! The Primal Moon definitely… messes demons up, and none of the three are the best at dealing with it.

Macaque definitely comes the closest, but he still has a lot of his own nonsense to deal with, like his own overwhelming urge to obsessively engage in stress-relieving behaviors. This can easily lead to Sun Wukong and MK putting him under lock and key, if not outright physically restraining the shadow demon to keep him from accidentally committing some form of self-harm.

I’m glad you like the dynamic he has with these two! Macaque tries to portray himself as some kind of “edgy badass”, but the Primal Moon strips away his ability to do so- there’s so much that Mac needs now, like affection and reassurance and warmth. And, even if he gets them, there’s still the harmful stereotypies that he’ll engage in, any form on self-soothing that makes things feel better.

So restraints and forced cuddles and genuine love from his “troop”… though Y/N is the only one he openly accepts the doting of, given their respect of his boundaries.

And I’m super glad you like the social structures! Monkeys are absolutely fascinating creatures, after all- if also brutal and complex.

Thanks so much for the comment!

[deoidesign]

Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.

Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!

Hi there!

Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!

It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!

I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha

I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then

I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...

The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.

It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.

Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.

I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.

I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.

[ss-shitstorm]

Hey I know you’ve probably already been asked this but what type of chemistry do you use for breaking bread like biochem and where did you learn this or have any book recommendations to pick it up? Also ty in advance I love your writing!!💕💕

oh my fucking god. oh my god. buddy. buddy you have made my fucking LIFE ASKING THIS OH GOD

So like, most of the chemistry I've used so far has just been Genchem and O Chem(with a wee few modifications to make it believable as a Cybertronian discipline, like Transformium being able to hold 4 bonds like Carbon but preferentially forming bonds w metals and needing an EMP pulse to interact w more electronegative atoms) I may wind up needing to get into a bit of Inorganic chemistry, but that's probably fewer and further in between. If you want a better handle on the stuff I'm writing or if you just want to learn more in general, then I'd recommend giving yourself a lil crash course in Genchem and then delving into O chem a bit more extensively (protip : you need WAY less Genchem then you'd think to fully understand O chem. God I wish someone had told me this 5 years ago. If you search "Genchem for non majors", you'll probably learn enough that way.)

THAT SAID : here's a chaotic, not really in any order list of the books/youtube channels/etc that I've directly used/am using for this fic.

Books :

Caveman Chemistry, Kevin R Dunn - Alot of hands-on old timey historical chemistry lessons w detailed instructions on how to complete them.(YOU GET TO MAKE YOUR OWN ASPIRIN AND DRAIN CLEANER!) Delivered with a delightfully occult bend.

Back To basics,(Reader's Digest) - Survivalist homesteading bible. Not strictly chemistry but has alot of earthy hippy ways of generating energy( biofuels my beloved)

An Introduction to Fire Dynamics, Dougal Drysdale - Honestly this, and any other firefighting manuals are worth their weight in gold for figuring out how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire while playing with, well, fire. Trying to look this info up online is like playing russian roulette with intentional misinformation and your fbi guy.

(there's another book I have that's even more detailed but I can't find it right now or remember the name. I'll update this list when I can!)

Organic Chemistry, John Mcmurray 8th edition : generic but good college O chem textbook. You can search around and find free versions to download relatively easily.

The Organic Chem Lab Survival Manual, James W Zubrick - Also a very good way to learn how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire when playing with glassware/gases. Very in-depth instructions on setting up and using lab equipment without breaking anything or your brain. Has a fuckton of pictures. Author has a massive sense of humor and makes this heavy subject easy to read. Again, easy to download/find in archives

Unfortunately I do not have any recommendations for Genchem books. I mostly used free online courses like Khan Academy to learn what I did.(I would def. recommend them though)

Youtube Channels :

The Organic Chemistry Tutor : Dude puts everything from reaction mechanisms to retrosynth problems down in the simplest possible terms. Does not beat around the bush with euphemisms or stories, gets right to business. If you have trouble paying attention, or lose your mind when a professor goes off on a tangent, this man is your savior. I have crippling unmedicated ADHD and no STEM background whatesoever and this man still managed to teach me 2 separate ways to execute a Gabriel Synthesis

Nile Red : World's most inefficient and most powerful wizard. I am not entirely convinced he's human. Does shit like turning plastic gloves into drinkable grape soda or making sweeteners out of his own piss and somehow makes it explainable to trash goblins like me who only need the science for warlord pussy.

again, anon, holy shit thank you so much. Like you wouldn't believe the amount of damage you've just undone. i have been beating myself into a pulp and spiraling into anxiety about this fic an trying to do everything right and you've given me enough moxie to fuel me for at least the next 10 chapters. If you have any more questions or more specific questions, please do not hesitate to ask! I can't guarantee I can answer them, but damnit I'll try. Take care and happy learning you funky lil moonbean.

[genericpuff]

LR is really, really good but I just wanted to say something- this is probably more about the readers than LR itself, but when it's said that LR is so much better than LO artistically (which it is!!), like say in terms of writing, pacing, and art - I think it's also not an apples to apples comparison, since LR has LO to draw inspiration from and a lot of external reactions to LO to learn from for what to do and not to, while LO is both time-constrained and (when it started out), didn't have much basis to compare to.

(The SA plotline is one example.. many criticize RS and say she shouldn't have written it in the first place but that's the thing - she actually didn't know. While I agree it's really shitty and RS has definitely ignored a lot of criticism she should take into consideration, the conclusion that she shouldn't have written it in the first place wasn't something that she knew about until after fans pointed it out. She definitely is mishandling it now, but I think writing that in at the start was born out of actual ignorance - different from her problems now, since she's now actively ignoring and shutting down the feedback she does need to get better. This blowing up educated a lot of people- probably not you specifically- and opened up a lot of dialogue for things that Rachel likely didn't have access to at the start of LO. and has no excuse for now.)

Anyway, yeah - Love Lore Rekindled, thank you for creating it! Genuinely, I do - this ask isn't meant to be a bad thing against you at all, nor do you need to reply to it.

Not a bad thing in the slightest, I honestly agree with you! The reality is that LR wouldn't exist without LO, so to try and compare them feels kind of like... it defeats the point?

Like obviously Rekindled was made with similar intentions, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like Rekindled wasn't made out of spite over what could have been, but at the heart of it all, it doesn't exist to 'flex' on LO, really it's just to help recapture that joy and beauty that the original comic had that I fell in love with in the first place. It's only because I loved the original concept and foundation of LO so much that it exists. That's also why I call it an "AU" of sorts, as a sort of "alternate reality where LO didn't turn out the way it did" experiment lmao Mostly by maintaining the consistency in the original art style and paying off those earlier plot threads that didn't payoff the way we were anticipating or were dropped entirely. Sure, it's trying (and in some ways succeeding) to be "better" than LO, but that definition of "better" and how it's applied was what we were hoping to get out of LO in the first place.

So yeah, when people say "the art/writing is so much better than LO's!" part of me tries to take it as the compliment it's undoubtedly intended to be, but also I'm like "ack, that's not the point!! the art still doesn't look exactly like LO, I'm failing!!" LMAO I suppose that's part of the magic, but it doesn't fully align with my original goals or intentions. That's the struggle of art stylization, you can try and mimic another person's work as much as you want, but you can never mimic the them that's in their work, just like how you can't remove the you that's in yours. I want to be at peace with my own work and what I put into it, so I try not to compare them too much and just treat them as their own unique separate things (even if one of them is directly trying to resemble the other). It's okay that Rekindled doesn't look or read exactly the same as LO, but in saying that it's 'better' defeats the point of why Rekindled exists in the first place and diminishes LO's part in the process. LO has to exist - all of its best and worst parts - for Rekindled to exist, so putting LO down just to raise LR up... isn't that kind of what we criticize all the time within the comic, how it can't seem to hold up its best parts without putting down others? Why can't they both have their own things worth appreciating on their own exclusive of one another?

This is also why I generally ask people to not share Rekindled with the general Lore Olympus hashtags or post about it in the fan groups (and why I don't mirror it on Webtoons) because I just like... don't want it to come across as some "booo you like LO??? go read this instead!" type deal. I want people to be able to enjoy Rekindled as its own standalone story as an extension of LO, in the form of what could have been. There's a very thin line in the sand between Rekindled being just what it is and it being used against the fans as if it's a crime for them to still genuinely enjoy LO. I can't enjoy LO in good faith anymore, but that doesn't mean I make Rekindled for the sake of ruining that good faith in others. I was a fan too, once upon a time, so Rekindled is just as much for the fans as it is for the people like me who started off loving this comic just to be disappointed in the end and yearning for the "what if" that could have been.

And yeah, it's absolutely an advantage that I have in my court that I have the knowledge of knowing what LO started as and where it went wrong to work off of, an advantage that Rachel didn't have. It's like when I look back on my original pages in Time Gate: Reaper and think "man, I wish I had known xyz when I made these so they could be better!" but if I hadn't made them like that the first time, I wouldn't be able to reflect on them now knowing I've improved. In that same regard, Lore Olympus had to run so that Lore Rekindled could crawl. And I'm forever thankful to LO - and Rachel - for giving us something we could all connect over to such an extensive degree that Rekindled could exist at all.

[berryhobii]

Hiii! I recently discovered your account and I'm so in love with you writings 😭. Can you do a namjoon x f!reader where namjoon gets really jealous and possessive so he picks a fight with her but then he regrets it when he saw her crying so he decided to remind her who she belongs to?!! Thanks in advance 💜

Thanks for your request! I actually kind of forgot what you specified so by the time I finished and read it again, I realize that you asked for reader to cry. I totally forgot. I’m sorry! I did include some tears of pleasure though. Hopefully that makes up for it. I also made Namjoon super toxic in this🫣still, I hope you enjoy!🩵🩵🩵

~

“You’re such an asshole! Why do you always do this?!” You slammed your purse down on your vanity, the furniture rocking under the force. You didn’t even care about your expensive makeup tumbling off it. That blush was $30!

“Why do you always insist on parading yourself around like you’re not in a relationship?”

Your head whipped around so fast that the tips of your braids smacked you in the face.

“You’re acting like I have For Rent sign hanging off my pussy, Namjoon!”

“You might as well!”

This wasn’t the first time you and your long term boyfriend had gotten into an argument like this. Specifically about this particular topic. It was honestly exhausting. Why did you even stick around?

Namjoon had been your on and off boyfriend for close to a decade. You two met in a little after high school. While he went off to college, you immediately started working, deciding that college wasn’t really for you. You worked a lot of odd jobs; mail carrier, retail worker, security guard and now you were a personal assistant at a company you actually really liked. It was good pay, good benefits, you even got your weekends free.

Working at a company meant company dinners. Normally, you’d decline. You’d tell your coworkers that you were tired or that you were spending time with your boyfriend and they’d take that excuse.

But the real reason you didn’t go was because your boyfriend was bat shit crazy.

Your hands waved around as you yelled back, “I’m not fucking anyone else, Namjoon! And I’m not trying to. Why the hell are you so paranoid?”

“How can I not be paranoid when my girlfriend is at a bar in a pair of jeans showing her ass?”

You ran a hand down your face, your laugh spiteful and exasperated. “I have a fat ass, Namjoon! What do you want me to do? Take it off and leave it on the dresser? Do I tell you to keep your dick at home?”

He was being completely unreasonable like always. You were a thicker girl. That would show regardless of what you wore. The fact that he almost blamed you for your body type and clothes as if they didn’t attract him in the first place was absolutely ridiculous. He could barely go 15 minutes without slapping it or telling you how sexy you were. It���s like he didn’t like you even existing outside of your apartment. Some irrational fear that you’re popping your coochie for other people. It was ridiculous.

He watched with rage filled eyes as you started walking around the room, removing your jewelry. He didn’t know why he was so upset. Just seeing you in that bar, laughing and with all those male coworkers around you.

It filled him with something more than jealousy.

Envy. Possessiveness.

You were his. No one else’s.

Honestly, seeing you so frustrated with him made his cock stir. The desire to force you back into submission was heavy on his shoulders and mind.

“Who was that guy you were talking to? I thought you didn’t date short guys.”

You were starting to get a headache. Tossing your earrings in the little dish on your vanity, you said, “his name’s Yoongi and I don’t want to date him. I’ve also never said I don’t date short guys. You’ve been my only boyfriend and it just so happens to be that you’re tall. Why are you putting words in my mouth?”

He could still remember how you laughed at whatever that guy said. Your hand pushing him because you had a tendency to hit people when you were laughing. Who the hell was this Yoongi guy to even be able to make you laugh? Namjoon should be the only one seeing you that joyous.

“It’s like you’re intentionally trying to piss me off. Do you get a kick out of making me angry?”

“If you’re pissed off at my body existing, that sounds like a you problem.” You went to your closet to start removing the bad jeans and your shirt.

“You should have known how I’d react.”

There it was. He was trying to flip it and blame you for his reaction.

Why did you even stay with him? He filled your days with unease. You weren’t the kind of person to let people control your actions. You were an adult. You’ve been handling yourself just fine. You knew deep down that you didn’t need him, the stress he brought.

But Namjoon was familiar. He was the only man you’ve been in a relationship with. He was all you knew. You couldn’t just let him go.

Liar. You could. You could pack up right now and leave him forever. Why haven’t you?

Pulling your night shirt over your head, you walked back out of the closet to see him sitting on the bed. He was manspread and staring at you with dark eyes. If you weren’t so peeved, you’d probably drop to your knees and give him a blowjob so good that it would knock him unconscious. “You know what, Namjoon? I’m so over you. When will you get it through your thick head that I’m not fucking anyone else and I don’t want to?!” You sighed. “In a minute, I won’t even want to fuck you anymore. Not while you’re acting like this.”

Just as you were about to turn around to walk to the bathroom, his hand wrapped around your wrist and yanked you down onto the bed. With a practiced quickness, he was hovering above you, his dragon like eyes staring holes into your face.

“You’re mine. Your pussy is mine. Don’t get mad at me because I don’t want you acting like you’re single.”

You tried to fight out of his hold but his huge body kept you down. Damn it, why did he have to start going to the gym? He was easier to overpower when he was still his lanky self. Now he’s beefed up and while you liked it, it really worked against you in these situations.

“How is me wearing jeans acting like I’m single? It’s not like I sucked anyone’s dick.”

His grin pissed you off even more.

“You probably wanted to. You always have been good at it.”

Fuck being on thin ice. He was in shark infested waters now.

You smirked back. “Yeah, it put your quick nutting ass to sleep everytime.”

His hand wrapped around your throat, not pressing hard enough to cut off your oxygen but enough so you could feel the pressure. You hated yourself for getting excited, pussy clenching. For all the times for your vagina to betray you, it had to be now?

“Take that back.”

“Make me. Bitch.”

His jaw clenched. “Oh. I’ll make you alright.”

That was all it took for him to lift off of you, stalking over to your bedside table. Squinting your eyes suspiciously, you tried to peek past his broad back. You only kept a few things in that drawer.

Shit.

The clink of those fuzzy blue handcuffs made both excitement and slight nervousness radiate down your body. You hardly used those since Namjoon didn’t have to do much to pin you. If he was getting them, that could only mean one thing.

“You son of a bitch!”

He had lifted the vibrator off your clit, once again denying you of your orgasm. That was number 8 and neither of you were backing down. Your brown skin was slick with sweat, as was your pussy in arousal. Your abused and overstimulated clit throbbed, begging for enough to push you over the edge but this asshole wasn’t having it.

While you were completely naked, he was still fully clothed. Something about that just got to you—the pure dominance in him still having clothes on was sexy as hell but you’d never tell him that. His own erection was painfully straining against his pants. He so badly wanted to just whip it out and fuck your gushing cunt until you were begging for him to stop. But that would be too easy. You didn’t deserve his cock nor any orgasms. Not until you said sorry.

“Apologize and I’ll let you cum.” His jaw tightened letting you know he was getting more and more irritated. Ha!

You glared at him, mentally wishing for him to burst into flames. Sadistic bastard. You’d never say it. It’s his fault for being paranoid. You weren’t about to apologize for his reaction. Your pride wouldn’t let you.

“N-never.”

He sighed before pressing the vibrator back against your clit. Your hips jerked up, hands pulling against your restraints as your orgasm rushed back to you.

This has been going on for almost an hour. Namjoon could see you were still holding strong and he hated it. He wanted you to break, wanted you to beg for his forgiveness, for you to go back to being his good girl. He didn’t understand why you couldn’t just be obedient.

Ah well. He liked putting you back in your place. He signed up for it when you two started dating anyway.

“Why do you have to be such a brat? Just say you’re sorry and we can move on.”

You were so close. So so close. Every nerve in your body was set alight with pleasure and absolute malice for your boyfriend. You were a brat? Why was he such a controlling piece of shit?

“Fuck you.” You gritted out.

He took the vibrator away again, your orgasm fading once more. You slumped back against the bed, chest heaving and stubbornness starting to fade.

Maybe you should just apologize. It’s not like you’d actually mean it. It would just stroke this sadistic motherfucker’s ego and make him feel like he has some power over you.

Turning off the vibrator, he tossed it to the side before moving to unbuckle his pants. The action itself was way sexier than it was. Was he finally about to fuck you? That would make you cum instantly.

No, he wouldn’t. He knew you came super easily from penetration. If you knew him like you think you did, you know he wasn’t giving up.

His hard cock sprung out of his pants. Your lust filled eyes locked on it. God, why did he have to be this way? You were already thirsty for him, you only wanted his cock. So why did he think you wanted to screw every man you came across?

He stroked his cock a few times, yet another action that shouldn’t be as sexy as it was.

Gripping the back of your thigh, he pushed it into your body, your other following out of instinct. He smirked at your movement and you wanted to kick him in his face.

Lining up with your hole, he began pushing inside. Your back arched at the wide intrusion, relief flooding you at finally having his cock stretch you.

But when you didn’t feel the rest of his cock inside, you lifted your head. It looked like he was struggling himself, breathing out a shaky breath at your tight walls. You were a brat but you had the best pussy he’s ever had.

“What the hell…..?”

He lifted his head to look at your desperate and confused face. Hook, line and sinker. You were too easy.

“You don’t deserve my whole cock. If you don’t want to apologize, I’m not gonna give it to you.”

“So you’re just gonna give me the tip?! You bastard!” You tried to kick your legs but he held them in place.

Best believe, he wanted nothing more than to bury his cock in your slick walls and pound you through the mattress but he had a lesson to teach. You couldn’t keep getting away with this behavior.

A few small thrusts and he already felt ready to bust.

You bucked your hips, trying to get him to sink deeper but he backed up to keep just the tip inside of you.

“You ass! What the hell is your problem?”

“Apologize. Last chance.”

Your blood boiled in your veins. You wanted to cum so badly but you refused to say you were sorry. You’ve had enough of this ass pushing you around.

But……………

His head hung low as he thrusted a few more times, one stroke going just a little bit deeper and brushing past your sweet spot.

Fuck this!

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry okay?”

That grin was back. Easy work.

He adjusted himself before ramming his entire cock into your walls. His fingers dug into your thighs hard enough to bruise.

“See? That wasn’t so hard now was it?”

You didn’t even have the nerve to retort. All you could focus on was the feeling of his cock. Your orgasm was right there once again and you were confident you’d finally reach it.

A sudden pain to your breast caused your back to arch. You lifted your head just as it happened again.

Namjoon twisted your nipple between his fingers, the sharp pain only adding to the thick haze of pleasure.

“See how good it feels when you just do what I say? Say you’re sorry again.”

He twisted your nipple again, your mouth opening to scream out an, “Sorry! I’m so sorry!!”

“Good girl.”

Picking up the vibrator again, he clicked it to its highest setting before pressing it back on your clit, his hips still delivering deep strokes to your fluttering walls.

Your throat ached from the Bloody Mary scream you let out. Tears pricked at your waterline, your chest feeling tight as the most powerful orgasm you’ve ever had slammed into you.

Your legs kicked sporadically, hips bucking as you humped against the toy. Black dots danced in front of your vision as you rode out the almost endless orgasm. The first one didn’t even have a chance to come down before you were floating into the next one.

Namjoon cursed as you squeezed him impossibly tight, little droplets of liquid hitting his pelvis.

The hand that wasn’t holding the toy went to wrap around your throat, shaking you a little and forcing you to focus on him.

“Whose pussy is this?” He needed to hear you say it.

Your mouth dropped open but no words came out. Tears streaked down your face, your mascara getting all messed up.

You were perfection to him. His perfect little toy.

His fingers pushed down over your pulse point before he asked you again, “I asked you a question.” He growled. The headboard was crashing into the wall, leaving an indent you’d complain about tomorrow but he didn’t care. He’d just fuck that out of you too.

“Yours! It’s yours! I’m sorry!” You slurred, yet another orgasm coursing through you, your toes curling hard enough to crack. You didn’t even think you were still in your body. Your mind was somewhere else. That let you know that he had effectively fucked you dumb.

“That’s right. It’s mine. Don’t you forget it. Now thank me for my cock.” He pressed the toy harder on your clit, thrusts speeding up. If not for the handcuffs and his hold on your throat, you would have been slammed through the wall.

“T-thank you, thank you, thank you! Fuhhhhhhhhh—uuuuccckkkk….”

With one last vice like squeeze of your walls, Namjoon pulled out of you, releasing your neck to pump his cock over your stomach. Hot splashes of his release painted your brown skin, your eyes falling shut at the sensation.

Your legs fell from their folded position, your body squirming away from the vibrator. Namjoon clicked it off before dropping it to the ground with a loud thud.

Both of your chests heaved from exertion, your body still twitching in the aftershocks. You felt ready to pass out.

Namjoon stared down at you—your belly covered in his cum and your skin already darkening just a little from his grip on you.

You couldn’t see his smirk but it was there.

You were his. And it would stay that way.

[thothxv]

I really don't want to talk about the present AO3 controversy (I have opinions, I think anyone paying attention does, but I'm so. Very. Tired. And the internet chews up tired people with opinions and spits them out for fun. So that's not happening).

HOWEVER!

I see many people out there championing Squidgeworld as an alternative to AO3. If you don't like AO3's staff or leadership and want to go somewhere else, this is actually pretty reasonable. The Squidge folks have been doing this a long time, they know what they're doing. They are a smaller team, hosting on smaller infrastructure (a dog knocked over their server once, apparently), but they seem up to the task of running an archive.

However. I also see people talking how Squidgeworld's policies are better than AO3 in various regards. And I want to address this because it's... mostly wrong. There are some differences in the TOSes, but for most of you they will be the same.

First thing, top of the list: Squidge's TOS is much smaller and vaguer than AO3's. A whole ton of rules around tagging in the TOS are just... not there. There's a bunch of information in AO3's TOS about how complaints are treated, that's all gone, any specificity about how Squidgeworld defines what they do or do not consider acceptable behavior is just... not there. In their place, we have Wheaton's Law: "Don't be a Dick". You might thing that covers it all, but a good TOS that makes it clear what is and is not allowed gives a lot of piece of mind. Nothing is worse than waking up to see that you've been given the boot because you and the mods disagreed about what the TOS meant. It sucks, you don't want that. It probably won't happen to most people, especially if you're not an asshole, but it is a thing.

The next thing in the TOS is the CSEM clause (the technical term for most of what people refer to as child pornography), and this is what I heard a lot of people talking about. I have heard people say that Squidge "actually bans child porn". However, the only difference between AO3 and Squidge's policies on CSEM (which is, to be clear, they they do not permit it) The only difference is this line: "This includes anything deemed pro-child sex or child-sex advocacy symbols." The thing is, that's subjective. A fic that involves this kind of content is not necessarily pro-child sex. Yes, even if it's RPF. And no, RPF is not CSAM. Nor is RPF CSEM, which is a broader umbrella term. At least, not under US law or US definitions, which is what both AO3 and Squidge operate under. I have done my best to get the official definitions for these things: RPF isn't covered. This has nothing to do with my opinions on RPF, it's just fact. In short, if you're upset at AO3 for not banning sexually explicit RPF containing real-life minors, Squidgeworld doesn't ban that either. Whether or not it takes down a fic with that kind of content in it is basically down moderation staff opinion on whether it might be advocating for child sex.

Now here's the juicy stuff. Squidgeworld prohibits links to any kind of fundraising... except in the case of original work. So, if you are a writer who posts original work to fic archives and wants to link your Patreon... you can do that on Squidgeworld. Just don't do it on fanfics. Or in the comments or in your profile. Standard AO3 rules everywhere else. Honestly, unless squidgeworld takes off on a scale that is frankly unlikely, this probably won't matter, but for some of you, this is a good thing, and it's worth bringing up.

Squidgeworld, unlike AO3, does not allow AI-generated fanworks. Now, I'm sure a lot of you are very happy, but this does actually present some problems: Specifically, you can't always tell AI generated and human work apart. Sure, a lot of the time it's pretty easy, but you can mask it, and sometimes the output could be confused for real writing. More importantly, real people's writing could be confused for AI writing. I could easily see fic authors being attacked with accusations that their work is AI generated, or co-written with an AI. I don't know if that will happen, but... well, some people are assholes, and fan communities are often drama-laden. It could happen.

Squidgeworld prohibits web scraping for the purpose of use with AI. AO3 basically has the same policy, and they've taken more technical measures to prevent it now that we're aware it's a thing that happens (the first time AO3 was scraped was pre-ChatGPT, people just weren't paying attention to this stuff. I imagine squidgeworld takes similar anti-scraping technical measures, although I don't know for sure). I think people don't think AO3 does this because in the post where they explained this they also said they allowed AI-generated fics, and they went on to say that they couldn't make it impossible for someone to scrape the site and feed that into a machine learning model. That's something Squidgeworld can't do either: if you really want a website scraped, that website can be scraped. This is why AO3 went on to say that archive-locking your work would make it less likely for scrapers to catch it, and that you could do that if you were concerned.

So yeah. I think broadly that these policies shake out mostly the same as they do on AO3 in terms of content. There's more vagueness and subjectivity and more things that malicious users could potentially abuse to waste staff time and attack other users, but... well, you can always submit false reports. That's a problem on AO3 too. Same as it ever was. And hey, at least there won't be any blatantly AI-generated fics over on squidgeworld. Mind, I haven't seen any in any of my fandoms anyways...

[starry-bi-sky]

Hello! I think you probably don't remember me, but I'm the anonymous that loves giant women and is, like, half way through planning the fic inspired by your Fem Danny that will one day, hopefully, exist in something other than daydreams.

I just have to take something out of my chest but I don't have anyone to talk about this, so I'm sorry for just showing up — I just wanted to say that I started paying attention to DC after devouring my first DPxDC crossover, because I love crossovers and I love DP, but like, the more I know about that thing (searching details to write the fic), the more I would like to just bleach my mind

I'm not saying that everything is bad, it's just that the bad things are so, so bad that it destroys the good stuff for me to the point where I would never see the character in the same light — because everything that happens in one comic is cannon in a universe, so yes, someone really did that — and I'm not going to say what I found out recently because it's bad and I don't want to pollute your ask with that information

Superhero writers are crazy, both Marvel and DC, and I have no idea how their editors allowed them to post some of their works thinking that everything was going to be ok, because, like— *inhuman screech* I don't even have words!!!!

(this is just my rant because I'm vanilla -extract- and even if I like my characters with so many flaws their flags are painted red by the blood of their enemies, I still have lines, so I'm sorry for just putting this here, you can just ignore if you want)

I DO REMEMBER YOU, I'VE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT YOU BROSKI! GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, SERIOUSLY! <3 GL ON THE FIC PLANNING FOR FEM DANNY I FEEL YOU ON THAT. Me with my half-finished godling dp fic in my google docs. I've been wanting to get back on that for a month now,,,,

And honestly you're super valid here! I was tentative to post this because, like you mentioned, it's a vent. But I wanted to let you know that it's okay! Don't be sorry about just randomly showing up, it's really good to hear from you even if it's just to get something off your chest <3. I don't know all the terrible stuff in comics that have happened, but I do know some basics in DC -- like Bruce's abusive parenting -- that i've heard about. And you're right, it's totally crazy what happens in these universes, and it can be really hard to overlook them even if they're from different worlds.

I'll admit, I'm none too good at giving advice for stuff like this but the best thing I can say -- and I'm assuming and seeing from your ask that you probably already are -- is that you eventually learn when to pick and choose what to take and what to leave. And whenever you see something unpleasant a character did, it's one big resigned sigh and an "of course" before deciding to ignore it. Which can be hard! It's a lot of practice. Take your time processing and coming to terms with it, and moving on!

No shame in being vanilla extract either! It takes time and exposure to slowly become okay with things -- and that's only if you want to, ofc. Some stuff that I'm interested in now are things I wouldn't have touched a year or two ago. Everyone has their lines, I can't stand dissection/lab experimentation fics and I doubt I'll ever actively write them, I can imply and write the after effects of it happening. No shame in it :)

And!! Feel free to drop by whenever if you wanna talk more fem! danny or smth or other. I'd be delighted! I can't promise I'll get to the ask right away (I have a handful of stillborn danyal au asks still sitting here in my ask box that I need to respond to but haven't had the time or energy to) but I promise that I will see it and appreciate it.

[larcenywrites]

hii. in case youre taking requests for headcanons, could you write some about how boyfriend young!tony (lovingly and sweetly) annoys his girlfriend? no one could convince me that annoying his partner isnt like one of his love languages lol thank you anywayyy

Oh, absolutely 😈 He 100% annoys the hell out of his partners, but it really is just part of his love language and really the only way he knows how to get attention! He's an attention whore fs (a term of endearment, of course <3)

How He Gets Attention

💠Being annoying and pouty is the only way he really knows how to communicate and how to get attention 🥲 He means well! Really! But that's not to say it can't get on your nerves sometimes.

💠But in a way it is cute. He just loves your love, and surely you love to love him! And any attention is good attention, right? You might have a different opinion on that, but luckily his ways of getting your attention are mostly harmless

💠Most of it is physical. He's touchy-feely anyway, but he acts like a poor housecat that just neeever gets attention ever 🙄 If you aren't somehow touching him, he's going to pout about it. But rest assured he will not only let you know, but will also take matter into his own hands

💠Kinda random, but in any type of setting he tends to mindlessly play with the hem of your shirt. There's usually nothing sexual about it, but sometimes the way he brushes over your skin might get you a little bothered 😉 Lectures, dinners, or even when you're both stuck in a crowd, he just pulls and twirls at the bottom of your shirt. If it's tucked or maybe not even a shirt, he'll still pick and pinch at the fabric, or play with your sleeve instead. At this point it might be becoming part of an anxious tic, but as long as it doesn't bother you too much he just finds solace in knowing your there ❤ and he just likes knowing he's being slightly annoying about it but not enough to be told off. Enough to keep your attention on whatever you were doing, but you're still well aware that he's there too!

💠If you have classes together, he's probably always messing with you, whether it be during lecture or when you're doing homework in bed. Oh, you're actually paying attention and doing your work? Where was all this attentiveness yesterday 😠 He can't do much in class (much to your relief), but he might still doodle in the very center of the paper you were using for notes, or keep muttering jokes that might be pretty funny and you have to literally keep a hand over your mouth. If he's feeling a little frisky he may try to play footsie with you, which may sometimes become just straight up kicking each other to see who will stop first 😭 If he's feeling a little sweeter (especially if you've been down recently or just got onto him for being distracting in class), he may hold your hand and/or play with your fingers. You may even get a little smooch to the back of your hand 😘

💠If you're doing homework at a café or something, he still can't get in to much, but homework and studying is usually done in someone's bed, whether you're both working or just one. I'm sure you can imagine all the ways he could distract you here... He has a lot more room and privacy to beg for attention, and can be a lot more creative in his efforts to get your eyes on him. He may throw a pencil your way that so perfectly leaves a skid mark right across your paper, or might throw balls of wadded up paper. Toss them back and he'll honestly be ecstatic! If you're doing work, but he has nothing to do, he may just sneakily inch closer and closer until his head is in your lap, even if he's smooshed into your textbook! He's bored! He's lonely! Just play with his hair or brush your thumb up and down his nose 🥺 If that doesn't work, he may sigh oh-so-sadly until you're at least forced to ask him what's wrong, and he'll just look at you with hurt puppy eyes that surely no one could resist! At least give him a little kiss on the head!

💠If he's really desperate, he's not afraid poke the bear-- literally! There's a specific spot around your waist somewhere that he's found where you very dramatically jolt away every time he pokes it, or maybe you're just really ticklish. Your surprised yelp is cute, and if you slap at his hand it gives him an excuse to start a playfight! And by playfight, he really just means flopping on top of you and forcing you to cuddle with him 😌 and you can't escape when he's directly on top of you 😇

💠If it’s snowing and you’re either still in bed or maybe you don’t want to go outside, this sneaky bastard will either scoop up some snow and just press it into your neck, or he will actually make a snowball and throw it at you. It’s just water, at least, but very very cold water 🤧🥶 At least when you’re chasing him down the hall he has your attention? He can warm you up later to make up for it 😉

💠Same thing if you're on the beach. A quiet moment may be ruined by the sudden splash of chilly ocean water on your legs! Honestly, you're pretty sure he just likes messing with you

💠If you're asleep he usually tries not to bother you, but sometimes he can't help it! Not only does he want cuddles all the time, but you're also really cute and honestly you're looking a little too peaceful 😈 And he may just be having trouble sleeping :( If he's bored and just wants company, he may just say your name and pet names over and over until you wake up, and if you're a deep sleeper he may tease his fingers up your spine or comb them through your hair. He does try to be gentle and loving about it! And if you do start to stir and sweetly lean into is touch, you'll be met with a face smooshing against yours regardless of your tired groan of protest. If he just wants your arms around him, and the above attempts also don't work, he'll just lift your arm and tuck himself in against your chest ❤ But sometimes he just... likes being a brat. He may just mess with you and poke at you until your rolling over to get away from him, but now he's sad and he's just going to curl up against your back until you roll back over and hold him 🥺

💠If he's really feisty that day, and you aren't entirely asleep, you may take a pillow or stuffed animal to the head. Hey, it's another excuse for him to playfight with you if you fight back! Or he may hide in your neck when you tell him off. It still ends up in cuddles, so he wins either way 😌

💠Speaking of really feisty, he may also just bite you. Sometimes he's sweet in getting your attention! He might keep pecking your shoulders and cheeks until your giggling and finally kiss him back, but sometimes he'll just nip your arm or your shoulder (or your neck). Usually it's hard to ignore those, but if you can, he'll go in a little harder and very innocently kiss the hand pushing his mouth away from you ;)

💠But it's not entirely about him! Not always, not exactly. Sure, maybe getting you annoyed is cute or funny or means he can act all cute and apologetic and play victim. He's acting out for a reason, you know! But getting you annoyed or mad means he gets to apologize and calm you down and play hero (even though he did the damage, but, whatever). It does work! You can't really stop him from hugging you and saying he's sorry. And surely even you can't have some fun with a little play fighting!

[emotionallychargedtowel]

10 comfort shows

I was tagged by @imlivingformyselfdontmindme for this thing. Thanks! The instructions are simple: "List 10 comfort shows and then tag 10 people." But I'm not a big tagger, and a lot of folks I know have done this already. If you haven't, though, and you're interested, please do!

The instructions said "10 comfort shows" not your favorite 10 comfort shows or the ones you watch the most often. So I made a list and I picked the ten that I immediately thought of something to say about. i'm all about comfort viewing and watching things repeatedly so I had to leave quite a few things off of this list.

Future Boy Conan

I've lost count of how many times I've seen this series. It really is one of the most life-affirming, wholesome (in the real way) pieces of media I've ever encountered. The first time I saw it, I went into it expecting to see a fairly run-of-the-mill anime series with some early glimmers of Miyazaki's aesthetic and themes. But it's a frickin' masterpiece. Themes and visual mannerisms you see throughout Miyazaki's career are already here, full-blown, but it's also distinct from his other work in a way that makes it feel really fresh even if you've gone through his whole movie oeuvre. Mostly it just always has its heart impeccably in the right place.

Pride and Prejudice (1995)

Don't talk to me about that movie. This is the adaptation against which all others must be measured. Faithful as heck to the book in most respects (we won't talk about Wet Darcy either), with an incredible cast, not to mention the costumes, set design, and locations. Watching this miniseries as a teenager could be the reason I'm still obsessed with shows and movies where half of the story is told through meaningful glances.

To My Star (1&2)

I really lucked out having this show as one of my first BLs, except that I nearly squandered the opportunity because I wasn't paying close attention and missed a lot of the subtle details. And this is a show that is full of really subtle details! Talk about telling a story through meaningful glances. There's a lot going on on a nonverbal level in this one. It helps that the leads have such a great, nuanced kind of chemistry together and both just seemed to show up for these roles ready to dig deep and be present. Thank goodness I went back and rewatched this one after that first attempt! I know for some folks the second season premise was really painful, but I found it to be completely worth it in the end. I'd happily watch a third season if they made one. In the meantime, I continue to rewatch both series (sometimes in movie form) regularly and I notice different things each time.

Spaced

This show was there for me at a time in my life when I needed comfort shows the most, when I was rebuilding my life after the abusive relationship that consumed most of my 20s. It's usually described in terms of the various pop culture references it uses, the movies the director and one of the co-writer/co-stars went on to make, or in some kind of generational terms as representing a demographic.

But I don't think those things are what make it interesting and rewarding. I guess the thing it boils down to at the end of the day is that it's very much a found family story. And an unconventional love story in which the two leads may or may not get together--after the series--but no matter what type of relationship theirs turns out to be, it will have changed them both for the better. In the meantime they’re facing their fears, honestly fixing their mistakes, and broadening their horizons, and they’re always lovable while being riddled with personal flaws.

Also, after having been raised on Coen Brothers movies and coming of age during the heyday of The Simpsons, I'm a sucker for a really quotable piece of media.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (1979)

When it comes to adaptations, I usually have a strong preference for one while writing off the others. In this case, there are things I appreciate about the Tomas Alfredson film that this adaptation doesn't do as well, but this version has a great deal to say for itself too. The adaptation really captures Le Carré's voice, the cast is incredible, and the whole miniseries just has this wonderful pervasive tone to it that's not like anything else. (The soundtrack is unobtrusive but very effective, and it has a lot to do with that.)

I don't know if it's the fact that this series came out when I was a toddler and has the look and feel of a lot of shows my parents would watch on PBS when I was a child (heck, I bet they watched this very show on PBS), but this suspenseful spy thriller makes me feel relaxed as hell. Having seen it a ton of times helps, too. There's never anything resembling a surprise. But even if this type of series doesn't feel like your childhood and even if you're going to be surprised right and left by the plot, I think it's an incredibly well-constructed piece of work that almost anyone could enjoy.

Emma (2009)

I'm very picky about my Austen adaptations. Emma has been adapted quite a bit, and I've found at least something to like about every version I've seen. But this is the best one by a good margin. I always love Romola Garai in anything, and she's lovely here--assertive, vulnerable, annoying when she should be and charming the rest of the time. She does a wonderful job portraying all of the subtle gradations of self-awareness that build in Emma throughout the story.

But I think the decisive factor has to be the screenplay and direction (not to mention other behind-the-scenes aspects). The folks behind this version just seem to have prioritized capturing the subtleties of the novel more than others. There are a few points where this is particularly apparent. One example is how this adaptation treats Frank Churchill. The 2009 version of Frank shows what a capricious, moody, immature person he is, but it also shows his good nature and the ways he tries to be open (in the novel, he attempts to tell Emma about his engagement to Jane Fairfax on multiple occasions and mistakenly believes she understands him). Hewing to the novel makes for a more complex, engaging character than the two-dimensional cad most other adaptations make out of Frank. The portrayal of the Box Hill incident is another example. This version of Emma has the most uncomfortable, unsparing rendering of Emma's insulting comment to Miss Bates that I've seen, but it also tempts us to laugh along with Emma. The scene in the novel is exactly the same way--it's complicated and makes us acknowledge our ambivalence. This adaptation keeps all of these strands alive in the story and the miniseries is better for it.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

It's weird looking back now on how BtVS seemed back when it was new. Our standards were different for a reason. TV really wasn't as interesting or as progressive as it is now, and the range of both was narrower. Having a cishet white dude showrunner who would willingly utter the word "feminism" seemed like a remarkable piece of good fortune. And of course, we didn't know what was going on behind the scenes.

I imprinted on this show like a baby chick back then. It's not really possible for me to be objective about it. If I think it's good, how much of that is its actual quality and how much is the fact that it seemed like such a gift back then compared to what we were all used to? Well, some of it at least was actual quality, but I can't tell how much. So this show is special to me partly because it's grandfathered in due to circumstances and partly because it's actually good.

I remember when it seemed wild to me that there were people who could talk about  a TV show and discuss episodes by title. BtVS was the first show I did that with myself. Eventually, it didn't seem that remarkable. Basically, this was the show that made me into a fan.

This is another show that was there for me after my abusive relationship ended. I remember at times when I was lonely (which happened a lot; not only was I newly single, I also had to start almost entirely from scratch when it came to friendships) I would look at my little dvd binder thingy with my pile of Buffy discs and tell myself, "If all else fails, I have all these shows to watch until things improve."

She-Ra

There’s that found family theme again! How could you go wrong with a story that starts with foundlings raised by a witch and a clone soldier to fight in their evil army, then follows them as they slowly get their consciousnesses raised and find their own identities and meaningful connections? It's a remarkably subversive and deeply queer show. We were in a miniature golden age for high-quality, politically progressive, LGBTQ+ friendly American animated series for a while there, and this show was not only a part of it but a particular highlight. It's been tapering off for a while now and it's sad to see it come to an end, but at least we got shows like this one and we can keep watching them and introducing people to them.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

I don’t know why a series that’s so steeped in existential dread feels so cozy to me, but it does. Well, I guess it’s because the show is about finding your people, your coping strategies, and the unapologetically weird little hobbies that will help you to muddle through war, loss, spiritual crises, and the challenges of long-term love.

That, and it reminds me of my mom.

A lot of ink has been spilled over this series so I won't try to explain beyond that why it's so special. But I will say that it is absolutely the best Star Trek series. It's unpopular with a certain type of fan, but those philistines dislike it for exactly the same qualities that make it so great.

Kikai Sentai Zenkaiger

I'm indecisive and bad at picking favorites, so I'm not sure what I'd consider my favorite tokusatsu series or even just my favorite sentai series. Zenkaiger would rank pretty high up there in both at the very least. But this is a list of comfort shows, not favorite shows or the best shows, and that's a category in which Zenkaiger is completely unbeatable. It's hopeful, funny, idealistic, and more than anything, definitely the sweetest toku show I've ever seen. It's also easy to pick a random episode and watch it out of context because of the villain-of-the-week thing (not that the larger-scale arc of the series wasn't also compelling).

This is yet another found family show. Families of origin are still very important in the series. The central characters are all trying to find, help, or learn about one or more of their family members. But it's also about blending your found family and your family of origin into a group so inclusive that it includes aliens and robots.

I'm only picking one gif for each show on this list except for this one. I couldn't pass up having one for Kaito, one for Stacy, and one for Zox.

(Edited to add: I switched out the three gifs here for a single replacement because I realized two of the ones I originally used were made by someone who requests that others not repost them.)

[loomisadvocate]

hi again

i doubt anyone will read this, seeing as i dropped from the earth for literally a year or two. it's been a long time since i've been around on here but even when i was, it wasn't for long. this is essentially going to be half vent/announcement ?

first, i want to say a huge thank you to the people who messaged me to see how i was doing. i just responded to them, after a year, and it was so kind of anyone to even think about little old me. it's been a very hard year. not just for me, but most people. i've been doing a lot in terms of getting back to myself and trying to manage life while dealing with some pretty earth-shattering feelings.

if anyone takes anything from this post, take this: you deserve the love and care that you give other people. i neglected myself for so long it all finally caught up to me. i was forced to really sit down and think.. what do i need to be better? i think i'm back in balance. as i write this i'm (ironically) coming off of a huge tiny emotional breakdown - you know, that mid-week everything is so overwhelming breakdown. and i thought why not check in and see if anyone was still reading.

that being said, i honestly HATE the writing i've posted on here. it's just not a reflection of the work i know i can put out. to the people who have expressed interest and enthusiasm about 'the inevitable' please know it is not going unappreciated and unseen. i just know i can do better. i think writing again will be good for me. i will either revise everything or maybe start completely fresh. who knows.

if you made it this far, please remember that all we have in this life is our one body, one mind, one heart. please take care of them delicately. pay attention to your feelings. set those boundaries you've been too afraid to set. do things you like to do even if people make fun of it. just live, and do it for yourself. i'll get off my soapbox now, but i did warn you this was mainly a vent post.

thank you for the love and for reading (if you did). here's to more creating and more living <3

it feels bizarre putting tags on this

[laura1633]

Completely get the lack of dead dove- never ventured into that tag and it must be a strange one to write headspace wise. Was wondering if you ever considered exploring more in terms of power dynamics though? Honestly your fic where Charles was a sponsor was insanely good and not something I'd considered reading before- if you wrote a hypnosis one I guess it's along those dubious lines too. If there's an age gap and a mafia wip going on at some point could be interesting!

I do like the idea of exploring power dynamics. I really did enjoy writing the one where Charles was the sponsor because it was a rather new dynamic.

I am always a lot happier to veer off into more power imbalances and morally ambiguous areas when it's alternative universe. I mean I know all the stories are "characters" and I am not writing Max and Charles as in real life but it just feels easier to make them a little more questionable ethically when there is an element of AU. At least for me. So I am happy to do it, I just need to distance them a little bit more from F1 drivers Max and Charles sometimes.

The age gap one -there will definitely be power imbalance given Charles is older and paying for Max's time to start with. Given Max has no money and is a lot younger there will definitely be some element of exploring the power dynamic and I have started to think about that a bit already!