#it's going to take a LONG TIME FOR ME TO EVER accept myself but i can tell you mean this

[stxrslut]

THE SLEEPOVER ˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

summary; during a lovely sleepover with your best friend sarah cameron, you admit to never once having orgasmed before, the confession makes your best friend feel ever so guilty, she feels simply obligated to show her innocent best friend how to please herself right now.

content; pillow humping, fingering, guided masturbation, innocent!reader

this evening has been ever so lovely, just like every evening on which you’ve slept over at your best friend sarah’s house. you’re always taken care of so well there. 

right now you’re sitting up on her bed with her, all tucked in while you both watch some neon pink 2000s chick flick on the tv. although not much attention is being paid, you’re both too absorbed in a happy conversation. 

you’re all about oversharing with sarah, you do it all the time. she’s does it with you too, in fact she’s doing it right now, going off on a rant about some stupid guy who tried to come on to her at the country club. 

“and I considered it just for the sex, y’know, because I haven’t had a good orgasm in weeks,” she stresses the last word with wide eyes, leaning a little closer to you before continuing, “but I decided I couldn’t be bothered to deal with him. I can just make myself feel good after all.” 

you tilt your head, nodding along, “that makes sense.” of course you have not a clue about it. you’ve never had sex, or even pleasured yourself for that matter. it has just never been something that had occurred to you to do. “do you.. do that a lot?” you ask, you know she won’t be opposed to it. 

“not more than it’s normal to,” she shrugs, leaning back, “I mean you do it right?” her question is intended to be pretty rhetorical but she notices immediately when you react unexpectedly. 

you look down, “I don’t— I- I haven’t..” self consciousness washes over you for a second. even though you know that it’s not oversharing in her eyes, it’s still a little embarrassing to admit. 

she looks shocked to say the least, her mouth falling slightly open before she can stop herself and regulate her reaction. “like.. never?” 

you shake your head, “no… don’t know how even if I tried.” 

that sentence seems to make her think, her eyebrows furrow for a second before she shakes her head, not accepting your statement, “no. no no no. you can’t.. not know. you’re missing out.. I mean.. how do you even feel good? no. I’ll just have to teach you.”

that is the conversation that leads you into the most vulnerable position you’ve been in for a long time. sitting up, leaning back on your arms, legs spread open over a pillow, your nightgown pulled up to reveal your glossy folds. 

“oh you need it,” sarah coos, she’s bent down so that her face is level with your pussy. “give me your hand,” she speaks gently, reaching out to take it. she pulls it down and guides you to touch yourself. 

your fingers are cold, having been out in the air conditioned open. it proves quite a shock when two of them collide with the small bundle of nerves you know to be your clitoris. 

you let out a whimper of confused emotion, mostly pleasure, mixed with some unsureness and maybe a little bit of curiosity too. you’d felt pleasure before, and of course you’d had that small need for pressure in this area before. but actually feeling that pressure, it’s overwhelming. 

you notice that she’s guiding your fingers in small circles in time with the pulsing of your nerves. her free hand climbs up to touch your hole before sliding two fingers in and moving them in a rhythmic pace with the circles. creating the perfect mixture of feelings to make you feel amazing. 

you both keep it up for many minutes. your hips are bucking and moving involuntarily as the sensation becomes more intense. the pressure gets stronger and you start to feel a sort of knot forming in your stomach. 

at some point she’d let go of your fingers to let you rub yourself independently, like how a parent lets go of the back of their child’s bike when they become confident they can ride by themselves. 

“oh! m’gonna–” you can barely make up words as the pleasure overwhelms you. your breathing is all ragged and shaky, “sarah… gonna cum.” you cry out, movement speeding up frantically before the feeling of bliss finally washes over you.

it's such a new feeling, and yet so primal, like it's rooted into you. you could tell when it was coming and now you lean into it and experience like you already had one hundred times. you throw your head back and moan loudly, completely disregarding the fact that you and sarah are not the only people in this house.

sarah is looking up at you with a grin on her face. she's still touching you, helping you through and letting you savour the feeling for as long as you possibly can. she has a proud little twinkle in her eyes, she's so happy that she's been able to help her best friend feel such a good feeling for the first time, she realises she wouldn't have wanted it to be at the hands of anybody else. 

she waits for you to come down and once you do she swoops in, leaning forward to pull your tired out body against hers, “you did so well,” she kisses you cheek in a gentle, affectionate manner. “were gonna get cleaned up now, yeah? then we can rewind that movie.”

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

I Love You

Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 20 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU

Masterlist |

Y/N went for a walk at the Han River today it was so peaceful Hannie its like 9 in the morning? when did you even have time? Y/N I woke up early ^^ the sunrise was beautiful Hannie i cant believe you willingly woke up early 0.o Y/N I want to take you there someday. Just you and me, we can go for a walk by the han river. Hannie Just us? Y/N Hmmm. My two favorite Hans, all to myself Hannie Wait, two favorites? You should only have ONE favorite Han >:( Y/N You're absolutely right baby Hannie im your favorite Han, right? Y/N …. I love you? Hannie >:( (i love you too)

-0-0-

“Jagi, are you okay? You can take off your hat if you want.”

You paused from where you had pulled up your beanie to swipe hair from your forehead, the cold soft air of the cafe AC making the sweat on your body cool rapidly. Subsequently, it was causing your hair to stick.

The two of you had just sat down at a small cafe hidden away from the crowds. It was a cafe known for being discreet, the owners having long gotten used to both trainees and idols coming there. Jeongin had grabbed the booth all the way in the back.

And yet you still found yourself nervously pulling the hoodie lower. You were facing the glass windows and the large double doors, where anyone could walk by and see you. It made you feel exposed. It wasn't the first time you had been out with one of the boys, but ever since seeing a photo of you on social media, you found yourself wanting to lay low. It was hard to do that when Jeongin, bless his confident soul, was wearing nothing more than a t-shirt and a pair of fake glasses that suited him wonderfully, but did nothing to hide his beautiful face. No hat, no hoodie, and he had even taken off his mask.

You were a ball of nerves.

“I’m okay,” You told him.

He gave you an unconvinced look, which was fair considering you were doing a terrible job at hiding your feelings.

The waitress came over then, setting down the two cups you had ordered, as well as the cake Jeongin had ordered. You ducked your head until she had left.

Jeongin let out a soft hum. “Jagi. Open.”

He held out a fork with a bit of cake on it towards you. You accepted the bite with a pout, knowing he was trying to get you to open up, but the cake was so good you couldn't stop the way your eyes widened in surprise.

The more flavors that began to explode in your mouth, the more you were convinced this had to be the best cake you had ever tried.

Jeongin gave you a knowing look. “Good, huh?”

“Holy-” You covered your mouth since it was still filled with food, tempted to nearly moan at how good it was.

Guess those cheesy romance books weren't all fantasy.

He smiled, grabbing another bite and holding it out to you. You pushed it away with your free hand, the other one still covering your mouth as you swallowed.

“No, it's your cake!” you protested, even though deep down you really wanted to accept that bite.

“It doesn't matter,” he reminded you. “Even if you eat it, I'll still taste it.”

You couldn't help but laugh at that, and Jeongin laughed along with you. The noise came out loud, echoing across the room, and from the corner of your eyes you spotted two girls sitting at a table near the entrance looking up in your direction. Immediately, you felt the same worry and shame from before rising up. You couldn't help the flash of panic when Jeongin turned around, having spotted your face and wanting to see what was wrong.

You reached out to him. “Innie! You're not wearing your mask!” You hissed at him in warning.

He turned back to you with a bewildered look. “What?”

You glanced behind him. The two girls were looking down at their phones, seemingly uninterested in whatever was going on around them. They were either really good actresses, or they didn't seem to recognize the maknae. You slumped back in your seat with a frown.

“You can't just-” You gestured wildly. “-look without your mask. What if someone recognizes you?”

“Is that what has you so worried?” He said, looking far too amused.

“It’s a valid worry.”

“But why do you keep hiding your face?”

“In case someone does recognize you,” You told him, feeling like a solid ‘duh' would fit well at the end. You decided against it though. “I don't want to cause any more problems for you guys.”

Jeongin titled his head. “More? Jagi, you've been the opposite of a problem.”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” You try to explain. “Its just…”

You trailed off, realizing you were going to have to come clean about the photo you had seen. You had yet to mention it to any of the boys, and now that it had been nearly two weeks later, it felt like admitting to a secret. Jeongin leaned forward, his face squinted in that cute way of his that had him looking like a fox, but still cute nonetheless.

“What happened?”

And so you explained your nondate with Seungmin, how the two of you had stopped in the middle of the street, how you found the photo later on with little to no interactions, and the worry that there were people watching at all times. The worry that you would get caught.

The youngest member simply nodded, listening to you with no interruptions, until you were done. Then, he lifted up the fork with another bite of cake.

“Eat.”

“Innie-”

“Eat,” he stressed out, giving you a look.

You reluctantly took the bite offered with a pout, unable to deny how good the treat was. Given the look on his face, you were sure it was just as much for his satisfaction as it was for yours.

“I understand your worries, Jagi. I understand how stressful it is to think about being in the media eye, how paranoid it can make you feel.” You nodded at his words, well aware that if anyone could understand, it would definitely be him. Or any of the members. “But it’s also because I’ve been there that I know just how unnecessary that worry is.”

You frowned. “How can you say that? What happens if someone snaps a photo of us together?”

“Then it happens.” Just like that. Like it was a fact of life. You shook your head, even as Jeongin continued. “I’ve already accepted that something is going to come out eventually. Im actually expecting it.” He offered you another bite. “So is Chan-hyung, and Minho-hyung, and the other members, and the manager, and probably the CEO.”

“That doesn't exactly make me feel better,” You pointed out. He gave you a look and wiggled his hand, so you let out a sigh, taking the bite of cake.

“You can sit here and worry about when that moment is going to happen, or you can just enjoy your life and accept that it will happen eventually. I’m not saying you should go around telling everyone your dating Stray Kids, or to stop being aware of your surroundings, but maybe don’t let it eat you up inside, okay?”

You blinked at him, eyes a little watery. “When did you get so wise, Iyen-ah?”

He smiled, eyes squinting and nose scrunching. You leaned forward and, faces now inches apart, placed your hand over his.

“I love you.”

He blinked slowly, still smiling, but softer now. And then he leaned back, flipping his hand to grab your wrist.

“I love you too. Now come here.”

He tugged you towards him, but he had to actually let you go for you to make your way to the other side of the booth. You sat down next to him.

“It’s not like you to want so much skinship,” You pointed out, nudging your shoulder against his.

He shrugged. “If your so worried about being spotted, I figured it would be easier if nobody could see you.”

Your mouth slipped open in surprise, and you couldn’t help but lean against him. “Innie, that’s … thank you.”

“You're welcome. Now finish the cake.”

-0-0-

Comeback promotions started up so quickly you didn’t get much warning. It was half group dinners, then just two or three, and eventually you were getting messages telling you that they would be getting back late and that you shouldn't wait up. The boys all made efforts to check in with you throughout the day, or to exclusively talk in the group chat so you wouldn't feel left out, but suddenly having so much free time to yourself made you feel like something was missing.

Even schoolwork couldn't hide the loneliness. You still got breakfast with the boys, even if it was rushed, and the occasional half day surprise when someone's schedule was clear, but the one person who seemingly disappeared for an entire week was Chan.

A good morning text was all you got for those 7 days. The others reassured you he was fine and just busy, but Felix was quick to warn you that the leader was taking naps before performances, cluing in to his lack of sleep.

On the 8th day, or maybe it was the 9th due to how late it was, you were woken up to the clicking sound of your door unlocking. You lifted your head, only taking in the blurry figure at the door as they shuffled in, trying to be quiet, before dropping your head back down with a huff. Soft footsteps drew closer, your eyes too heavy to open, and then a hand was brushing down your cheek.

You let out a noise of confusion when the covers lifted.

“Go back to sleep, sweetheart,” Chan whispered, placing a kiss on your wrist as he settled in next to you.

You found yourself hovering somewhere near sleep and wake, mind still kind of aware but somewhat dreaming. You thought about the man next to you fondly, the effort he made to be with you even during his busy schedule.

“I love you,” you whispered, falling into a deep sleep.

Chan was gone by the time you woke up.

As you got ready, you found yourself wondering if you had actually said the words out loud, or if it had just been in your head. But then you got a message.

Chan Good morning love <3 Hope you have an amazing day PS. I love you too

-0-0-

Their busy schedules seem to clear up almost as quickly as they came. Although the boys still had plenty of activities scheduled both as a group and as individuals, group dinners were once again on the table. It only takes another week before you have all 8 of your boys together at the same time, their laughs and voices getting loud enough you were worried they would get a noise complaint. Even then, you didn't have the heart to quiet them.

It was during this time together, once they had settled in on the couches and began winding down, that you sprung your surprise on them.

“Sooo,” You drawled. “I have an announcement to make.” Jisung and Hyunjin both gave you panicked looks, and you raised your hands to wave away their worries. “I'm not breaking up with you, don't worry.”

“You couldn't get rid of us that easily,” Minho replied nonchalantly.

“I just wanted to let you guys know that I got a job offer.”

There was a chorus of congratulations and smiles from the boys, but only Chan seemed to realize there was still more to be said. Probably because he could still feel your anxiety.

“It's in New York.” The boys were uncharacteristically silent, so you continued. “It's only an offer, I still have to apply and there's no guarantee that I'll even get it. Honestly, I'm debating whether or not I even want to apply.”

“Okay,” Felix started, leaning forward on his knees. “Why are you bringing this up?”

“It just had me thinking, you know, about us. This,” You said, gesturing at the group. “And how its going to work. You know, long-term.”

“Long-term?” Changbin asked, repeating the english words with his thick accent. Chan translated, and the boys all nodded in understanding.

“Don’t you-” Jisung cut himself off, forehead pinching as he frowned. “I thought you being here was the long-term plan.”

“For now, yes. I still have a year or two until I get my degree, and I can continue to do that long distance for now. But then what? Eventually I will have to get a job, find my own place. Will we do that together? You guys obviously have Stray Kids, and it doesn't look like you plan on changing that anytime soon, so obviously you all are going to be together for a while…” You found yourself trailing off at the dejected look on Chan's face.

“Do you … not feel like you're a part of that goal?” He asked you. He gave a quick look to the other boys and switched to english. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to make decisions for our sake. You may be our soulmate, but you have every right to want to travel or move to other places, to get a job, to be … independent from us, if that’s what you want.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he lifted a hand, and you pressed your lips together. He continued in Korean. “I just want you to know that I-“ Felix cleared his throat. “-WE have never, ever, thought of excluding you from our future plans. If we end up making any decisions as a group, you are 100 percent included in that decision.”

“You’re a Stray now, whether you like it or not,” Seungmin told you, reaching out to pull your hand away from where it had been pulling on a loose thread in your sleeve.

You let out a laugh, eyes watering even as you tried to blink the tears away. “You offering me a place in the group?”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re part of the group or not. You’re a part of us,” Changbin muttered.

At the same time, Jisung perked up. “Do you know how to rap?!”

“We’re not adding her to the group,” Chan said with a smile. “I already have to deal with you guys.”

“Fine, we’ll make our own group,” Jisung continued nonchalantly, giving you a wink.

“The gremlin club?” Seungmin offered.

You couldn’t help but let out a bark of laughter at that, slapping the singer next to you as you suddenly remembered something. “Wait! You never did give me back my hoodie!”

Jisung was quickly getting to his feet. “Actually, I think I have somewhere to be-���

“No, no, no! Get back here, you little shit!”

“Hyung, help!”

“Give me back my hoodie!”

-0-0-

Even with the boys’ great efforts to lift your mood, you still found yourself thinking about your future more and more. You also found yourself missing them, even when you had the opportunity to see them every day, to the point you were worried you would come off as clingy. Even though they didn’t have such busy schedules anymore, there was one particular Wednesday afternoon when the boys seemed to be hit with a wave of inspiration, rushing off to the studio to get their ideas down before it left.

You happily spent the morning with Hyunjin until he had to meet up with a friend. A quick lunch with the others was just as chaotic as you expected, and Minho only gave you a knowing look when you asked him if he would mind making 3 extra servings. In return, you didn’t mention the fact that Jisung’s bag had a little note added in.

Despite having only been to the company building a handful of times, the security downstairs didn’t even look twice at your ID before waving you in, and since you knew exactly where you were going, it was only a few minutes before you were knocking on the familiar studio door.

Three faces lit up as you poked your head into the room.

“Hey.” You walked in, seeing they weren’t in the middle of recording.

Changbin was quick to stand up and help you with the bags you were holding, peeking in and smiling as he realized you had brought food.

“Yah! Thank you so much, babe.”

“You brought food?”

Chan and Jisung both thanked you as you handed them their respective containers, and you sat down on the couch with a smile as you watched them talk about how good it looked. Changbin, instead of returning to his own seat, settled in next to you.

“It really does look good,” Changbin muttered, opening up the top of the container. “Wah!”

“Minho put in a lot of effort to make it look good.”

“He left me a note,” Jisung pointed out, smiling down at his little present.

Chan looked through his own bag. “I didn’t get a note.”

He pouted, and Jisung seemed to get even happier at the news. The boys began to eat their food, starting an easy conversation about a new show that you had started watching. When you brought up their music, Chan offered to let you hear what they had so far, and you quickly agreed. He began to get the track set up as you cleaned up the containers.

“Okay, this is an idea we’ve been working on,” He told you, and the room grew quiet as he played the track.

You bopped your head to the rhythm. The song was simple, but rhythmic. The track itself was just the instrumental, but from next to you, Changbin seemed to be muttering to himself potential lyrics. He had his phone out and everything.

“This is the best part,” Jisung said, slapping Chan’s shoulder from where the two sat next to each other.

And the song began to rise into what you could recognize as a beat drop. You smiled as the two producers suddenly headbanged together as the song went crazy, a sick beat echoing around the room as their heads continued to bop in unison. It was a really good song from what you could hear, the kind that made you want to get up and start dancing.

“Aaand that’s all we go so far,” Chan said as he paused the track, spinning around to face you. “We were just about to start working on some lyrics. You want to stick around and help?

“Can I?” You wondered.

“Of course!”

Jisung let out a clap. “Great! I have some ideas we can work on, and I think Changbin’s working on some of his own, so we can pull them together and work something out.”

Said man was still looking down at his phone. You nudged him gently. “Bin?”

Chan laughed. “Give him a moment. He tends to get too into whatever’s he’s doing.”

“Hopefully it’s better than what he came up with earlier,” Jisung said, smiling at you. “He wrote this cute little verse about how much he loves bulgogi. It was funny.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at the thought. Changbin was silent for a few more seconds, but he eventually lifted his head up nonchalantly only to freeze at the sight of everyone staring at him. “What?”

Chan and Jisung laughed, and the rapper seemed to realize he had missed something. He gave an embarrassed smile, turning to you for an explanation since the other two were still laughing.

“So, I hear you wrote some really deep lyrics about bulgogi.”

Changbin let out a groan, and you couldn’t help but laugh. He tried to say something, but the three of you were still laughing, and he shook his head. You didn’t even fight him when he wrapped his arms around you, trying to tickle you from the side. You jerked as he hit the ticklish parts of your side, laughing jumping up an octave into a scream. Changbin started to laugh along with you.

“Okay, okay!” You wiggled in his hold. “I’m sorry!”

“I get no respect from you guys,” he complained, no longer tickling you, put still keeping his arms wrapped around you.

“Oh, I’m sorry sweetie. Do you want some bulgogi?”

“Yah!”

Chan and Jisung were still laughing, having been spurred on by your comments, and Changbin pulled you into his lap to rest his chin on your shoulder. You cooed at him as he pretended to pout. When he went to lean back against the couch, he pulled you down on top of him, your body relaxing against his as you both sighed in comfort, choosing to ignore the other two boys as they finally began to calm down.

There was a moment of peace, where it was just you and your soulmates, your body humming contently. And then it all came screeching to a halt as the door opened.

You didn’t recognize the woman who walked in, only taking in the surprise that flashed across her face as she took you in for less than a second before you were slipping off your boyfriend’s lap, face suddenly feeling hot. The sudden pounding in your chest only seemed to get worse as the surprise slipped into a cold icy disgust, the older woman crossing her arms.

“Seo Changbin. You should know better,” She chastised him like she was his mother. “Being so provocative where anyone could walk in. You should save that kind of behavior for when you are alone.”

You frowned, sharing a look with Jisung. Weren’t you technically alone before she … walked in? Without knocking? To a private studio in a private building?

He returned your confusion with his own furrowed brows.

“It’s not like that, Noona,” Chan defended. “Besides, nobody really comes in here that often anyways.“

She gave him a sharp look. “Anyone in this building can walk into this room. You should have at least locked the door.”

“We weren’t doing anything-“ You tried to argue.

“While I am happy that you boys have found your soulmate, this isn’t information that many are privy too. You’ll do well to be careful even when in the company building,” She interrupted, handing Chan a few papers. “The stylists want to check your measurements tomorrow, and you need to film a promotional video on TikTok by the end of the week.”

And with one last side eye in your direction, the woman left. You didn’t even get to say goodbye before she was breezing out of the room, heels clicking across the floor.

You were the first one to break the silence. “Well, she seemed nice.”

“She’s just looking out for us,” Chan said, flipping through the papers with a sigh. “Man, they moved the filming schedule up to Friday. Who schedules filming on a Friday?”

“At least we get Monday free,” Jisung offered, looking over Chan’s shoulder.

Changbin nudged you as he moved in closer, his arm going around your shoulder to pull you in close, but you froze at his touch. He noticed your discomfort immediately, backing off enough that he could get a good look at your face. He gave you a reassuring smile.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Just a little embarrassing,” You admitted. “I feel like I just got scolded by my mom.”

He let out a huff. “Don’t let her get to you. Doyeon-noona is just a little stricter with us than the other staff.”

“I know. I can’t blame her for that, I … I just don’t like the idea that I have to be careful with you guys in your own studio,” You admitted. The other two seemed to pick up on your conversation, their own ramblings quieting as they turned to listen. “I know we talked about this before, and I already know how you guys feel about this, but I just … I don’t know. I wish things weren’t so complicated.”

“Like you said, you already know how I feel.” Letting his fingers intertwine with yours, Changbin pulled your hand up to place a soft kiss to the back. “But I get it. Nobody wants to feel like they can’t be themselves with the people they love.”

“People they love, huh?” As if you had sucked all the confidence right out of his body, Changbin began to splutter.

You smiled.  “I love you too.”

-0-0-

You settled into a nice routine, which often included messaging the group chat to see if any of the boys were home or available every morning. This particular day, you found yourself heading up to the maknae’s dorm in search of Seungmin, who promised you he had a few hours to watch a movie with you. It wasn’t until you got there that you realized he wasn’t the only one there.

Hyunjin was in the kitchen when you arrived. You didn’t realize until you were walking down the hall and passed by the doorway, freezing your body when you caught sight of the dancer as if you had just been caught sneaking out. He also froze, a cup halfway up to his mouth, blinking at you in confusion.

“What are you doing here?”

“Gunna watch a movie with Seungmin. What are you doing here?”

He looked down at his cup. “… nothing.”

“Is that Minho’s special tea?”

“Please don’t tell him,” Hyunjin pleaded, dropping the cup to the counter with a loud clack. “He’ll kill me.”

“Fine. But only if you make me a cup.”

“Deal.”

Seungmin showed up a few minutes later when you didn’t answer his text, taking in the two of you and the guilty looks you sported.

He smirked. “Hyung’s tea? Really?”

“Don’t tell him,” You pleaded. “He’ll kill us.”

With a smile that sent shivers up your spine, the young singer reached for his phone. You let out a laugh as you lunged for him, trying to block his sight, and he playfully grabbed you with one arm, using the other to hold his phone away from your reach. Seungmin was surprisingly strong, and you found yourself unable to do anything as the photo app was pulled up.

“Hyunjin, help!”

Things quickly went to chaos after that. The two of you managed to get the phone out of Seungmin’s hands, but Hyunjin wasn’t expecting the other boy to tackle him against the counter, both of them laughing and screaming as they wrestled for the phone. You tried to grab it out of their hands yourself, but you miscalculated.

Your socks slipped against the floor, and with a yelp, you reached out to grab onto the boys for stability. Hyunjin was pulled to the ground by Seungmin, his arms flailing as he went down. You hit the side of the counter just as one of the cups of tea was flung in your direction, and you let out a shout as hot liquid hit your chest, neck, and the left side of your face.

“Shit!” You swiped your hand across your face, and the other two grew quiet as they realized what had happened.

“Fuck, are you okay?” Seungmin was the first to react, pulling you towards the sink. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” You assured him, letting him use a wet towel to wipe away the liquid from your skin. While the tea had been hot and definitely uncomfortable, it wasn’t hot enough to cause any burns. “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? It didn’t burn you?” Hyunjin pressed his fingers to the skin, but immediately pulled away when he realized he was leaving marks. “It looks red.”

“It’s fine. It wasn’t hot enough for that. Really.”

“Aish. You should have been more careful,” Seungmin muttered, gently pulling at the collar of your shirt to wipe at your collarbones and shoulder.

You gaped at him. “Me?! You were the one who spilled the tea!”

“Actually, I think that was me,” Hyunjin admitted with a grimace, rubbing his hand.

You pulled at your shirt. “Ugh, I need a shower. Why is it sticky?”

Hyunjin let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh, and it took you a second to realize why. You slapped him on the arm. Seungmin rolled his eyes at his team member, throwing the wet towel at the dancer’s face, and gently guiding you down the hall.

“Clean up the mess!” He yelled to Hyunjin, turning to you with softer eyes. “You can use my shower.”

You didn’t take a long shower, not even washing your hair since you were just rinsing the tea off. Seungmin had offered you one of his shirts to wear while yours went through the laundry, so you stopped by the laundry room to load up some clothes (you figured you might as well wash the rest of the dirty laundry at the same time) and emerged into the living room to spot both boys now calmly sitting on the couch. The tv show you had been planning to watch was loaded up on the screen, and Seungmin looked up when you entered.

“Better?”

“Yeah. Thank you,” You told him, motioning to the shirt he had lent you.

Seungmin looked you up and down in a way that had goosebumps breaking out along your skin. He looked back down to his phone nonchalantly. “Don’t worry about it.” You pretended not to see him smile down at his phone.

“Man, now I want you to wear my clothes,” Hyunjin whined from his spot on the couch.

You rolled your eyes, sitting down in between both of them. “Boys.”

“What! You look hot wearing out clothes.” He pouted. “Just wish it was my clothes.”

“Maybe next time.”

“Next time?” Seungmin said, looking up at you with his brows raised. From the other side, Hyunjin perked his head up like a puppy who just hear the word ‘treats’ being mentioned.

You rolled you eyes. “You know what I mean.”

Even as the show started up and you settled back to get comfy, you couldn’t help but notice Hyunjin’s pout from the corner of your eye. He only pouted harder when you turned towards him, making a point to look as dejected as possible, curling up on his side of the couch by himself. You let out a sigh, and he peeked at you with a hopeful look.

You sat up straight. “Wow. It’s really cold in here.”

“Do you want me to turn the AC down?” Seungmin offered, already reaching for the remote.

You slapped his shoulder gently, now exaggerating your voice at him. “I could really use a sweater!”

He snorted, settling back down once he realized what you were up to. It took Hyunjin a few seconds, but the dancer finally caught on once you both turned to him with expectant looks, his entire face lighting up like a Christmas tree.

“Oh!” He grabbed the ends of his sweater, struggling to get it off. “I got it! Wait- hold one .. Ash.”

He almost threw the thing across the room when he finally got it off, hair sticking up from the static electricity. Seungmin let out a cackle of laughter.

Hyunjin didn’t even seem bothered as he offered you his sweater. “Here.”

Now wrapped up in clothes from both boys, you were finally able to settle down to watch the show in peace. You didn’t want to admit it to them, but you actually did enjoy wearing their clothes. You found yourself pulling the ends of Hyunjin’s sweater past your hands, pressing the fabric to your nose and softly inhaling the scent that was a mix of laundry detergent and just … him. You smiled softly.

Halfway through the show, Seungmin reached out and grabbed your hands, pulling them away from your face and into his lap. Without even having to be asked, you reached out with your other hand and grabbed Hyunjin’s hand so that the three of you were connected. The soundtrack picked up, a beautiful melody that had you feeling sentimental.

“I love you guys,” You whispered.

Seungmin’s lips twitched up, and Hyunjin squeezed your hand.

“I love you more,” the dancer said, leaning his body against you.

Seungmin side eyed him. “No.”

“Eh?”

He pulled you away from the older boy, pulling you half into his lap and wrapping his arms around you, effectively blocking you from Hyunjin with his own body. Said member gaped at the change in seating.

“Yah, puppy. Give them back.”

“No.”

“You little-“

The show was practically forgotten as you were suddenly caught up in another wrestling match. Thankfully, this time, nobody got anything spilled on them, although Hyunjin did once again end up on the ground with Seungmin sitting on top of him by the time the show ended. It was only then that he shot you a bashful smile, swiping his hair out of his eyes.

“I love you more.”

“No, I-!”

You surged forward, nearly tackling the singer to the ground, but he managed to catch himself on his elbows as you pressed your lips to his. While he wasn’t the one being actively silenced, Hyunjin let out a wheeze that clued you in to exactly why he had suddenly gone quiet, and you quickly lifted yourself up to check up on him. At your questioning, he gave you a weak thumbs up, curled up in a fetal position.

“Oh, I’m so sorry sweetheart.”

He would later tell you that the kiss you gave him more than made up for the pain.

-0-0-

The first time you ever ventured your way to a new part of the company building was on a very special day. At least, it was to you. It just so happened that the first person who answered your text was Felix, letting you know he was in one of the practice rooms waiting for the other members to show up for their practice. Granted, he also let you know he was half an hour early and was just goofing around while he waited, so you figured since you wanted to see the other boys as well, you might as well wait around with him. The dancer met you out in the hall, and you couldn’t help but run towards him the moment you saw him, jumping into his arms.

Felix almost didn’t catch you.

“Whoa, you’re in a good mood,” He said, pulling you into a warm hug.

You pulled away with a fake frown. “Don’t tell me you didn’t remember.”

He froze. “Oh no. Did I forget something?”

At his genuinely distressed look, you took pity on him, letting out a giggle and cluing Felix in that the situation was not that serious.

“Its okay, it’s not that big a deal,” You assured him, biting your lip. “It’s just … it’s officially been 6 months since we’ve met.”

The blonde blinked. “Oh, really? Wait, it’s already been 6 months?!”

“Half a year! Happy anniversary,” You joked.

He let out a laugh, pulling you back in.

“Happy anniversary.” He buried his face into your shoulder. “I’m so glad Innie found you.”

“Hey! I found him,” You corrected, brushing hair behind his ear. “I found all of you.”

“Hmm, you did.”

You shivered as he pressed a soft kiss to the crook of your neck, pushing him away by his shoulders with a quick look around the hallway. Thankfully, there dind’t seem to be anyone around, You gently hit him on the chest in warning.

“Careful. I’m already in the shit list of one of your managers, I don’t need to be lectured by another.”

“It’s fine. The only people who use these rooms are artists, and half of them are also in secret relationships. They won’t care.”

“That’s not the poINT!”

The end of your sentence was cut off into a squeal as Felix spun you around with a chuckle, lifting you off your feet with his hands on your thighs, pulling you in close to him until your bodies were flush. The sudden change of balance had him stumbling forward, your body hitting the wall a little too hard, and he let out a soft curse.

“Sorry.”

You giggled. “It’s okay. What has gotten into you?”

“I love you,” He said, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“What?”

“I-“ another kiss to your lips. “Love-“ a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You.”

He blew a raspberry to your cheeks, and you let out a laugh, kicking your legs in glee. You wrapped your arms around his neck, soft hair tickling the tips of your fingers as you laced them together, head tilting to the side as you took in the man in front of you.

“God, you’re beautiful,” You sighed, giving him a smile.

His eyes lit up like you had just told him the meaning of life. “Yeah?”

You nodded your head, licking your lips. “Yeah. I love you so much.”

“Good. Because I don’t plan on ever letting you go.”

-0-0-

Dad Hey. Just checking in on you. How’s school going? I hope you’re having fun. Y/N School’s fine, same as always. Been seeing all kinds of places. Went hiking with two of my soulmates the other day  It was … fun. Dad I thought you liked hiking? Y/N The hiking was fine. Waking up at 5 in the morning was not. Dad Wow. They managed to get you up before 9? That’s a miracle. You must really love them. Y/N They wanted to see the sunrise. I have to admit, it was worth it. [IMG.JPG] Dad Looks beautiful. I’m glad you’re doing okay. Y/N What about you? Everything all right back home? Dad Everything’s fine. You know how your mom is. She misses you. Y/N I miss you guys too. I gtg. Love you. Dad Love you more.

-0-0-

“Here, try this.”

You looked up, startling back at the sudden appearance of a spoon in front of your face. Minho held a hand under the spoon to prevent the substance from falling, and you smiled at his thoughtfulness. You really shouldn’t have been surprised to get a spoonful of soy sauce.

“Oh, ew. That’s gross.”

Minho giggled, shirking away from the hit you aimed at his shoulder. “That’s for drinking my tea.”

“Who snitched! Was it Seungmin? I swear to god, I’m gunna kill him.”

Minho just laughed as he made his way back to the kitchen where he was preparing actual food for dinner. Deciding to take a break from your work, you stretched in your seat and let out a groan. The dorm was uncharacteristically quiet considering that at least 5 members were home.

Minho was, as previously mentioned, cooking dinner in the kitchen. Felix and Seungmin were playing a game in the elder’s room, and you were pretty sure Hyunjin was taking a nap in Jeongin’s room. You weren’t sure if the youngest was with the gaming boys or taking a nap with Hyunjin, but you were sure he was home. 3Racha had just sent a text that they were leaving the studio.

You sneaked into the kitchen, making sure Minho wasn’t currently doing anything at the stove before you wrapped your arms around him, effectively trapping his arms to his body. He paused from where he had been chopping, letting out a soft sigh.

“Gotcha,” You murmured, pressing your forehead against his back.

It wasn’t hard for him to slip an arm out of your grasp, turning around so that he could pull you into his chest. You went along willingly, letting his warmth embrace you. The two of you stayed there for a few seconds, softly breathing against each other, the kitchen filling up with the delicious aroma of whatever was starting to boil on the stove. It was only because you didn’t want the food to burn that you let him go.

“Hey, can you play some music?” He asked you.

“Sure.”

You randomized your playlist, not even embarrassed when it was a Stray Kids song that came up first. Minho smiled to himself, giving you a side glance, but you just bopped your head along and attempted the dance to the best of your abilities, even though you were sure you looked like a wiggling worm who suddenly gained a pair of legs. You were either doing better or worse than you thought because Minho actually stopped stirring to stare at you.

Suddenly you were embarrassed.

“Oh, don’t stop on my account,” He told you, turning back around.

“Somehow that doesn’t give me much confidence,” You joked.

“Pass me the carrots?”

You grabbed the recently hopped carrots, leaning up against the counter as you watched him pour them into the soup. This time, when he offered you up a spoonful, you could actually trust it wasn’t going to be a prank.

It tasted amazing. You had never expected anything less.

“Good?”

“Hmm.” You licked your lips with a nod, and his eyes darted down. You couldn’t help but smile. “Hungry?”

“Watch it,” He warned you, turning the stove off with a flick of his wrist.

“Or what?”

You pouted when all you got in turn was a tap to your nose, your playlist switching to a slower ballad. The pout disappeared as Minho grabbed one of your hands, the other pressing up against your waist and swaying you side to side. When he pulled you back and began to spin the two of you around the room, you laughed.

“You are so cheesy,” You breathed, butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

“And you’re a terrible dancer.”

You weren’t sure if he kissed you as an apology, or to keep you from complaining, but you found yourself melting against him nonetheless. You didn’t usually kiss Minho often, usually getting pecks as a hello or a goodbye, but you appreciated the slow passionate way he was kissing you now. It wasn’t until the music began to change and his hands dropped yours in favor of pulling you closer by the back of your neck that you began to wonder if this was different somehow.

You eventually had to pull yourself away to breathe. “Wow.”

“If you want, I can teach you some moves,” He whispered, and you raised your brows.

“Dance moves?”

“If you want,” He said with a smirk.

He grabbed your hand when you tried to hit him on the chest, trapping your hand between the two of you. His thumb gently swiped across your knuckles, his head tilting as he took you in. You beamed up at him.

“You’re cute,” You told him, leaning up to try and kiss him again. He tried to hide his smile, looking away from you, but his red ears gave him away. “Is this your way of telling me you love me?”

He didn’t answer, just pulled you in for another kiss. It was only a soft chime echoing from your phone that pulled the two of you apart this time, Minho patting your ass.

“Go tell the kids dinner’s ready.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you grabbed your phone. Your phone chimed again as you made your way down the hall, and you pulled up your messages. One text was from Jisung, letting you know that they were on their way up, but the other was from Sophie. You pulled up the chat the same time you knocked on Felix’s door.

“Dinner’s ready!” You called out to them.

Sophie. Oh my god, is this you!???

For a split second, you found yourself thinking about the photo you had seen of you and Seungmin together and wondered if she had somehow seen it.

The reality was much, much worse.

You nearly dropped your phone when you got to the images she had sent. They looked like photos taken from a security camera, which was already a shock to your system, but it was the content that had your back hitting the wall in shock.

One photo of what was clearly Felix. There was no denying that it was him. Your face was also visible in the photo, although a little grainier. The second photo, wearing the same clothing as the first photo and obviously in the same location, was a familiar scene. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pressed up against the wall, lips pressed together.

A million thoughts began to race through your head.

Sophie I can’t believe it! Why didn’t you tell me!? Girl, you are TRENDING!

There was a commotion from the entrance, and you could hear Chan calling out your name. Felix’s door opened, and he nearly ran into you. He was laughing, the youngest two yelling something at him about their game. He met your panicked eyes, and his smile immediately dropped.

Chan appeared at the end of the hall, looking as worried as you felt. “Are you okay?”

“What’s wrong?” Felix asked.

All your thoughts converged on one very simple word.

Fuck.

-0-0-

Taglist: (if you wish to be added or removed, please let me know)

@kayleefriedchicken @dessianna1 @tryingtolivelifeblog @luvvvash @purplelady85 @jc003 @thicccurls @xxeiraxx @cluelessred3 @lemonn015 @soulpheonix1618

[dreamwreaver]

I completely agree, Vaggie and Charlie are really each other's antithesis and it's executed BADLY. The show doesn't do anything meaningful with their differences, if anything, it makes it starker. Their communication is terrible, they are not at all in sync with each other's needs and the only time they ever got actual development was when they separated to seek help for the battle with the exorcist, in which, they had more chemistry with their respective mentors than they ever had with each other (I honestly ship Vaggie and Carmilla a little after their spar, like come on, one time Carmilla lets her hair down, an act of vulnerability in some cultures, was with Vaggie and Vaggie also got her wings back after that fight too. Not to mention, they had a whole ass song together despite not meeting yet before the Chaggie song and has plus points for being original unlike Chaggie's song so Vamilla/Battleangel is a decent ship for me.)

Vaggie may say that she'll do anything for Charlie but she sure as hell won't let Charlie sing and have a deal with the same guy she had a deal back in episode 1. She also seems to forgot that her girlfriend is a grown-ass woman who can thrive on without her while she can't because she thinks she's worth nothing without Charlie. It's sad, really.

I'm honestly curious on what you'd discuss further on how Vaggie would have never let Charlie in but Charlie didn't think to knock, can you please share?

Ngl, while it's not an s-tier ship for me because I do adore zestmilla, battle angel is indeed an underrated pairing and tbh? At the very least Vaggie deserved to have an obsessive lesbian crush on Carmilla. I know it was allegedly planned for her to have an obsession with weapons and it got cut for time or other reasons. Whatever, more stripping of Vaggie's character and turning her into a bland nonentity so she doesn't compete for attention with literally everyone else.

As for your question; I would like to refer back to Charlie's rant at Alastor during their cannibal town date. No I will not be taking arguments on that, that's precisely what it was.

"Three years, three YEARS I've been sharing my life with her and I tell her EVERYTHING! My hopes, my dreams, my insecurities, my embarrassing habits, what fucking DEODORANT I like! And she keeps something, like THIS from ME! Why would she lie for so long? Did she think I wouldn't accept her? What about me, ME, says un-understanding?"

And if you watch her body language during this whole rant it's less emotional hurt and more... ego hurt? Like, this whole upset has gone from "the person I love and trust more than anything has been lying to me about who they are," to, "I share everything about myself with her and should have been entitled to this information."

And yeah, I get it, she was made to look incredibly stupid in front of a heavenly council right before being blasted back to Hell with an entire exorcist army aimed right at her front door. Anyone might be justifiably upset that such important info was kept from them. But as Carmilla literally says not ten minutes later, "You have a giant X over your eye and wield an angelic spear, it's not rocket science."

So Carmilla was able to take literally ONE look at Vaggie and clock her origins? Going further, depending on how you interpret Lucifer's gaze in Dad Beat Dad upon meeting Vaggie it's entirely possible HE clocked her as angelic too. And yet, the person who spends the most time around her somehow couldn't connect those dots? Charlie's optimistic but she's not dumb. She's got a naive understanding of sinners and how best to incite change but to miss something like THAT? I don't buy that Vaggie would have been able to keep that secret so easily if Charlie had been paying as much attention to her partner as any good and healthy relationship should.

But let's backtrack a bit. The notion that Vaggie's off emotionally is established all the way back in episode 3. Remember when Charlie's trying to get the others psyched about trust exercises and Vaggie shows a considerable lack of enthusiasm? What was the first thing out of Charlie's mouth after that? Is it, "hey you seem like you've got something on your mind; are you okay?"

Nope! It's a very embarrassed/annoyed, "Vaggie, we rehearsed this!"

After which she proceeds to blindside Vaggie with the news that she's the one who's going to be leading the trust unit that day. Wow, for all they rehearsed this pitch Vaggie sure seems left out of the loop on it doesn't she? When Vaggie tries to explain without explaining that she's neither qualified nor comfortable about this decision does Charlie say, "well okay then, but if you change your mind just let me know,"? Wrong again! She just says, "It's easy I'm sure you can handle this."

And again, Vaggie is both unprepared and uncomfortable and also unable to say no to Charlie so she defaults into her military training and starts speaking to them like a commanding officer would to their troops. And I don't blame her for that, we tend to fall back on emulating behavior we've seen when we don't know how to cope with something. When trust falls don't work, Charlie tries to retake control but Vaggie puts on a brave face and says she has it when she clearly doesn't. As chaotic shenanigans ensue Vaggie grows more and more desperate but somehow it isn't until she's literally chucking people off a roof that Charlie figures this has gone too far. Not to mention she's incredibly surprised that COMBAT is how Vaggie learned to trust people. Forgive me if I'm wrong but you've been her partner for three years by later admission and you DIDNT know she came from a military background?

Not to mention Vaggie spells it all out in black and white, "I took charge today and it all went sideways. I'm supposed to make your dreams a reality. I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to never fail you" followed by, "If I can't help you, what's the point of me?"

Vaggie has serious issues with self worth, demonstrated here. And while I get Charlie is trying to respect boundaries to a certain point I cannot imagine that were I in her shoes I would leave my partner thinking that if they couldn't be useful they shouldn't be with me. And while to her credit Charlie does apologize, it feels a little pointless when the very next episode she's back to just ignoring what Vaggie says. Even then, that apology doesn't do much to address the real root of the issue. They work as a team? When and where is that EVER demonstrated? It's not a reassurance that Vaggie doesn't NEED to have some demonstrable use for Charlie to want to be with her. And even if it was Vaggie has already struck at the heart of their problem; she wants to be Charlie's armor AND her partner, but those positions cannot work in tandem. Because wanting to be someone's armor assumes they need protecting, and again I state, Charlie is a grown ass woman and one of the most powerful beings in all of hell. She was smart enough to avoid making a deal with Alastor in the pilot, why does Vaggie assume that Charlie NEEDS protecting? And a partner infers a level of equality that just isn't demonstrated in what we see of their relationship. There is no give and take with them supporting each other equally. It's vaggie either trying to draw blood from a stone to meet Charlie's unrealistic expectations, or Vaggie telling Charlie to alter core elements of her personality to appease her own subjects. And on the flip side; where does Charlie support Vaggie in anything resembling the way Vaggie supports Charlie?

Charlie pushed for Vaggie to come to Heaven with her because that was what SHE wanted. Even when Vaggie expressed her reluctance to go Charlie pushed and Vaggie folded even as she knew what ended up happening was a very real possibility. Why?

For all his bloodthirsty nature Alastor knows the political game way better than Vaggie does. Vaggie couldn't keep her shit together when Emily was just holding Charlie's hands and being friendly. That's not the type of partner a political figure should have, and whether she likes it or not as princess of hell Charlie's interwoven with the politics of hell. Being power hungry means Alastor has the genuine best advice for Charlie when it comes to handling bigwigs like the angels. And he's someone with an actual business interest in the hotel. Imagine someone asking him why he helps when he doesn't believe in redemption; and he tells them it's because he believes in Charlie. You don't hand someone the source of most of your power so easily if you do not have a sincere and earnest level of trust in them. And yet Al does it willingly, more than once.

I want to say that I don't hate Charlie or Vaggie. I just don't think they work well as a pairing because Vaggie gives too much and Charlie's more concerned with her people than her partner. And the lack of communication between the two of them is a real issue. Again, Vaggie might never have let Charlie in, but Charlie never thought to knock. She never thought to ask about Vaggie in any way that would suggest the sort of deep emotional love that the show so desperately wants us to believe they have.

And on some level, I think a good portion of the fandom feels it too. Seriously, run the numbers some time on just AO3; filter for the Chaggie tag, and then take out every other ship that those stories are actually about. The chaggie tag is filled with stories that are about someone else's relationship because beneath the surface there's nothing there.

[thetepes]

Bună seara, my migraine inflicted friend. Take a nice hot bath. I have this well in hand.

And Bună seara, not so friendly anonymous. I am The Țepeș. I am a trans person of Japanese and Romani heritage over 30 who has been in the Lily sphere for some time. You are in good hands. So sit down and listen to your, probably given her age range of fans and followers, LGBTQ+ Elder. Now, let's begin with the very first issue here...

What is happening is not pedojacketing.

I understand, I really do, that it's hard to find the meanings for these terms. A lot of our language is buried in blogs, videos, and forums where finding a consensus of the meanings is near impossible. I struggled myself as a nonnative English speaker to find the meaning of things that are so insular to our community and ended up having to take the time to really sit and talk with others and learn through examples of what is and isn't. I'm afraid you've fallen into a bad faith interpretation of this word.

Pedojacketing is not accusing a transwomen or LGBTQ+ member of pedophilia. It is accusing them falsely. Without proof or reason.

Now, I do not know about you, but I am a very critical person by nature. Being a person of not just nonwhite, but mixed race has conditioned me to not accept off the cuff accusations especially with no proof readily offered. Good proof, not all proof is created equal.

Let me show you what convinced me. I can't show you everything I saw because posting Stockholm itself would be a horrible idea, but I did read parts of that as it was put out at the time it was put out and it has absolutely been provably tied to Lily without a shadow of a doubt not just by me seeing her posting parts of it at the time, but by her own words and data proof.

And something else I rarely see people talk about, but was the biggest nail in the coffin was a RPGgame she made called Doomsday Ascending. I was in the MLP fandom with this was dropped and saw it dropped and saw everyone's reactions to it, but did not play it myself after hearing what was in it because I am a victim of incestual childhood sexual assault. Going back through my messages though that I saved I have this screenshot.

It is filled and I mean filled with rape, incest, pedophilia and Lily's characters. This is totally and completely tied to Lily in a way no one can deny and the video of the "easter eggs" shows the very disturbing porn that was put in that game. The video is still up. This is something I do not care about how long ago it was made, same with Stockholm.

At one point you could have said it was made a very long time ago, but Lily negated that when she outright denied ever making these things. Multiple times. Including saying that someone used AI to make her say she wrote Stockholm ignoring the fact that AI tech is very new and didn't exist when she was pointed out as having made these things.

This isn't pedojacketing.

Media aside, Lily has victims. Victims that have publicly posted their stories and it is not my place to speak for them. Please listen to them and their stories of abuse. We are so rarely heard. No matter how loud we scream no one seems to listen until it's too late and there's another victim. Don't let there be another victim. Especially her sister who she abused and raped.

Lily has echoed her abuse of her sister in her writing from PokeMad house to Stockholm. I can't speak on it more, listen to her.

Britt has repeatedly shared her own experience.

Lizzy's experience is well documented, but please leave her be she's repeatedly said she wants no involvement with any of this anymore and just wants to move on.

There are minors other that have spoken out on their grooming and exposure by Lily that have stated their experiences especially the one who was very specifically flashed on stream after Lily told him to join and see why it was marked 18+. That is not the only flashing. There is another documented flashing WITH Mikay also flashing the camera. Obviously I can not share those screenshots, but that is well documented.

Here's Lily arguing why it's ok to flash on youtube? I don't know why you'd argue that. Apparently, one of her girlfriends asked her to and she just did it. I'm as baffled as you are.

I hope this helps you understand where we're coming from and why these accusations have been so pervasive for so many years. Please remember, the majority of these accusations come from LGBTQ+ people themselves and we speak out at the theoretical threat of making our community look worse if we're being untrue. No one here wants this kind of accusations to be made among us. No one here wants this kind of drama. We are saying these things for the sake of truth, safety, and it being the right thing to do.

Have a kinder night than the morning you awoke to.

are y'all really that dense? why wouldn't lily be aggressive when sai and the others support transmisogynistic pedojacketing weirdos like you? there's no normal dude on the "lily orchard critical community" who just disagrees with lily and her media takes, all of you are intertwined and constantly propagate the same disgusting accusations be it directly or via proxy, lily doesnt owe y'all ANY respect.

Pedojacketing means baseless accusations of pedophilia. The accusations against Lily are about as far from baseless as you can possibly get.

I've had to clarify and dig up evidence and rehash things she's said to me for people who refuse to look at any of it again and again and I've got a migraine today and I'm fuckin tired...

@thetepes would you mind taking this one..

[thecultoflove]

CUPID HI Being nervous of image does happen sometimes and it's a really difficult thing but I think you're so FUN! Not a lot of people want to be [ Whatever you'd call your behavior ] for a similiar reason you're apologizing for so I think you should take a day to appreciate that uniqueness isn't a horrible dooming end of the world situation. Take what you think is a flaw of yours and look at it as something that others love you for. I can promise that people most likely PREFER you're overly excited

ajgkfhdkfdkjghkjfdhgjkfdhgjkfdhgkjfdhgfdjkg this is too sweet i really wish i could express how much i needed it i hope you have the best day ever. i love you so muchhh

[thepoisonroom]

What's the most recent thing you've been obsessed with? x

my girlfriend being, like, a cis woman of they/them experience

[la-galaxie-langblr]

what is going on w my brain

[phagodyke]

demand avoidance is so stupid. what do you mean I'm not going to do the thing I wanted to anymore just bc someone else wants me to......

[friendlifyre]

i think ive finally hit that point where ive accepted that i need to Allow myself to enjoy genshin more casually otherwise it wont be long before i stop enjoying it altogether

[hairmetal666]

Eddie owns a record store, gets to talk about music everyday. Life is good. Great, actually.

He's consolidating the Christian rock section on a quiet Wednesday morning when it happens. A man with swoopy dark hair, tight dark blue jeans, and a plum Member's Only jacket walks in, and doesn't take his Ray Bans off even once he's solidly inside.

Eddie is awestruck. This dude is gorgeous. Heart stopping. He watches him browse in quiet astonishment, unable to say anything until he blurts, "Can I help you find something?"

The man smiles--Eddie's heart stops--and he says, "Nah, just browsing. Your sign caught my eye."

And he's still not quite with the program, the rich honey of the man's voice taking him totally by surprise. "Ah, oh, it did?" He manages after a few long beats. "Painted it myself."

"No shit? It's great."

"Thanks, man. I also think it's some of my finest work."

The guy laughs. "How can I know unless I see some of your other pieces?"

Eddie's face heats, but he's never been known for having good impulse control. "Maybe you'll get lucky."

Spots of pink bloom on the man's cheeks and the tips of his ears. "And here I was, thinking I was getting special treatment."

Eddie cocks his head, smiles big. "Well, the day's still young." It's so risky and stupid; no way this guy is queer, but he grins at Eddie, laughs a little too.

"That right? Well, tell me your latest recommendations."

"For you?" Eddie eyes him up and down. "Wham!"

The guy's laugh is warm and rich and Eddie wants to drown in it. "Big of you to say for a someone who's only listened to Enter Sandman for the last four months."

Eddie cackles, points a be-ringed finger. "It's a good song! A great record."

"Hey, I've got no problem with Metallica. I just don't think you should be casting aspersions on Wham!."

"Casting aspersions, do you have a word of the day calendar or some shit?"

"No! It's toilet paper."

Their snickers grow until they're both hysterical, needing to lean against a display to stay upright.

It's like he's living in a dream, hitting it off with a beautiful man who just happened to stumble into his store. They catch their breath and Eddie uses the time to grab a record off a nearby shelf.

"Here," he says. "Try this."

"Joni Mitchell?"

"Don't tell me, Wham! fan, that you're too cool for Joni."

"Nah, she's my best friend's favorite. How much do I owe you?"

"On the house," Eddie shrugs.

"Shit, that's generous. Thanks, man. Now, about your art--" He glances at the shiny watch on his wrist. "Fuck, is it really 3:15? Goddamnit, I gotta get going."

And Eddie wants to call him back, doesn't want this dream encounter to end, but he's dashing to the door--

And just like that, the man is gone, the only evidence it ever happened the lingering chime of the bell over the door.

The bell clatters again, and his head wrenches up hard enough it hurts his neck.

"Was that Steve Harrington?" the customer shrieks.

"No," he scoffs. Except. Except. The hair and the clothes and sunglasses and the face and his lips--

"No!?" He feels the way his eyes have gone wide with panic. He didn't just flirt with Steve Harrington. Of course not. Not ever. He would've recognized--

He runs to the racks of magazines in front of the register, grabbing the latest issue of People. The cover features a glossy, polished photo of the man who just left the store. The one who had the highest grossing movie of the summer alongside his co-star, Julia Roberts. The one who, according to the article within, is in Chicago right now shooting a new movie. The one who Eddie flirted with. The one who flirted back.

He groans and covers his face with his hands. At least he'll never see Steve Harrington again.

---

Harrington comes back.

The second time, he's wearing a jewel blue polo and fitted slacks, Ray Bans nowhere to be seen.

"Got anymore recommendations?" Steve asks.

"What?" Eddie's still trying to accept that Harrington came back.

"I finished Joni. It was good. Recommend something else for me."

Fully with the program, he reaches to the rack behind him, handing the vinyl to Steve without ever taking his eyes off him.

"Seriously?" Steve deadpans.

"Tell me you don't deserve it after last time."

Steve studies the cover of Metallica, a complicated look on his face. "Fine, but you have to listen to the album George Michael released last year."

He mimics getting shot in the heart. "After my magnanimous first suggestion, you dare to punish me with Freedom?"

"Think of it more as an opportunity."

"To regret every decision I've ever made?"

"To expand your musical horizons."

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Fiiiine. It's a deal."

Steve beams. "Good! Ring me up."

And Eddie, he'd comp it again, but Steve gives him this look that tells him not to try it.

As they pass the magazine racks, Eddie points at one featuring Steve on the cover. "That thing you wore to the Vanity Fair party last month was hideous."

Steve snorts, then laughs. "Thanks. My stylist decided to go for something--"

"--terrible?--"

"Avant garde."

"Oh, is that what they're calling it these days?"

Steve pays, throws Eddie one last smile, "next time?"

Eddie nods, already certain this time is the last one.

---

He keeps coming back.

Eddie tries not to read into it.

Steve is straight, famously has a girlfriend. former horror movie child star turned cinema wunderkind, Nancy Wheeler. They're always on the covers of the tabloids, in ever more improbable stories about affairs and secret babies and french countryside weddings.

But he keeps coming back. And eventually, they grab dinner. And that dinner becomes lunches, movies, clubs, concerts. Eddie's in paparazzi photos, and there's no speculation about their relationship. Steve has a girlfriend.

But sometimes. Sometimes Steve will rest his hand on Eddie's nape, his lower back, let it linger. He'll trace a finger down the tattoos on Eddie's forearms or the patches of his battle vest. He'll lean too close when they talk, unafraid to press their bodies together. And he catches Steve's eyes on his mouth more than once, his pupils wide.

Over the next few weeks, Steve's gaze on Eddie's mouth gets hotter, his looks longer, and it's killing him. All he wants to do, all he ever wants to do, is close the distance between them, appease the gnawing beast of desire in his chest.

But Steve has a girlfriend.

They don't talk about her, not even when he knows all about Steve's best friend, Robin, and the gang of kids who adopted him, or Joyce and Hopper, his surrogate parents. Never Nancy.

He tries not to read into it.

---

They're supposed to meet for dinner. Steve scored reservations at a trendy new restaurant, but Eddie's late. Astronomically, horrifically late. It's pouring rain, it takes fifteen minutes to get a cab, traffic is a nightmare.

Out of patience and time, he decides to run the last few blocks to the restaurant. By the time he reaches the building, he's soaked to the bone, spluttering harsh breaths through mouthfuls of rain.

Steve is walking in the opposite direction, hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat.

"Steve?" He calls.

He turns and this is the first time Eddie's seen him angry. "You're late," Steve's eyes rake over him, and his face softens in an instant. He takes Eddie's wrist, leads him into an alley where the buildings are close enough to block some of the rain.

"What happened?"

"Traffic."

Steve's gaze go all soft and gentle, and Eddie's knees buckle a little. "You look like a drowned rat."

"Yeah, well." Eddie scoffs. "We can't all be beautiful movie stars."

"You're more beautiful than I could ever be, even soaking wet."

He shakes his head, ignoring the cascade of butterflies; Steve shouldn't say things like that. His vigorous movement sends wet strands of hair slapping him in the face.

Steve reaches out, softly brushes it back.

Eddie stops breathing.

Steve closes the distance between them.

What a thing, to be kissed by Steve Harrington. What a terrible, glorious thing.

He breaks it fast, face red, can't catch his breath. "Nancy," is all he can say.

"Nancy?"

"You have a girlfriend."

Steve's face scrunches. "She's not my girlfriend."

Eddie's mouth drops. "Yes, she is." They went to the Oscars together.

"Eddie." Steve takes a few steps back. "Eddie. I'm gay."

He laughs, an ugly honking thing. "C'mon. What could she possibly get out of that?"

Steve's eyes widen, eyebrows reaching his hairline, mouth pursed in a bitchy line. It takes Eddie a minute but, "Ohhhhh. So, it's all--?"

"It was the best way."

"But you're--?"

"I thought you clocked me immediately! Wham!???"

"That was because of the jacket!"

"Have you ever met a straight man who dresses like I do and likes George Michael??"

"That describes five dudes I see a day!"

"And you thought they were straight??"

Eddie stares into the middle distance, replaying some of those interactions, and--"Huh. Okay. I get hit on at work waaay more than I realized."

"For fuck's sake, Eddie!" He's shaking his head, but Eddie sees the way the corners of his mouth shake with suppressed laughter.

"I'm sorry! You have a very public straight relationship!"

Steve giggles, pulls Eddie close. "Is this okay?"

"So okay."

"You do like me back?"

"Are you kidding! Thought I was going insane, how much I want you."

"And now?"

"Come back to my place?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

And Eddie, he's seen Steve playing at love dozens of times, but this--right here, in a soggy, smelly alley where they're both soaking wet--it's more perfect than any movie.

[aromantic-pantyanarchy]

It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.

I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.

I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.

I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)

I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.

[inkskinned]

the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

[aotnumber1fan]

Jjk guys and whats gets them going

cw: intercourse (p in v), fingering, brief mention of bondage, grinding, boners, head (male and female receiving and giving), sex in public spaces.

a/n: can you tell who were my favs in this?? (Toge has me on my knees and Geto has me in a chokehold 🙁). All characters are aged up; 18+.

Itadori Yuuji - Ass

Itadori Yuuji, who just simply, loves a nice ass. He likes to have a nice hold on yours at all times– ofcourse, he won't, he's not a creep who cops a feel out of nowhere, but trust me when I say in every situation, there's atleast one part of his brain thinking about your butt. It's an instinct. Beside, he's your boyfriend, you probably think about... something about him in a sexual matter all the time. Haha. He loves ass.

You cupped his jaw softly as he pushed you on the bed, hands on your thighs so you could find your place on his lap, hands now on the plush of your thighs.. roaming north. You couldn't help but smile, as he paid no mind to his hands.

"What is it?"

As he said this, they were crawling up your skirt, and he was sporting a face so innocent you'd be oblivious to what he was doing if you weren't the one feeling it, you couldn't help but laugh– did he even know?

His hands were still lifting your skirt up, stopping at your butt, palming it as he tilted his head at you, only making you laugh.

"You have– no shame–!"

He smiled, pressing his lips to your collarbone, peppering feather light kisses as he rejoiced in the sound of your laughter, even though he wasn't sure if you were laughing at him or not, either way, he was just happy to be here.

"What's there to be ashamed of– Shit."

You finally stopped laughing, due the the multiple hickeys left by Yuuji's sly lips, and as you squirmed, he pressed you further into his lap, feeling the reason he cursed out of nowhere.

"Maybe that."

"Then... do something about it."

He cursed alot more that night.

Fushiguro Megumi - Voice

Fushiguro Megumi who can't get over the things your voice does to him. Always hushed but loud enough to be understood clearly, a sultry undertone only he can decode– he's the only one thinking about you in that way anyways. Megumi who loves but equally hates how one sentence a tone too suggestive from you has his pants suddenly feeling too tight– He can't get enough. It doesn't even have to be dirty!– Just say anything that can be taken the wrong way and if you take the time to look down, the effect you have on him will be pretty obvious.

Megumi accepted you in his arms, gently acting like a brace for your charged run at him, you haven't seen him in too long to even try and hold back, you knew he could handle it.

His arms helped you hug him more than he was hugging you, but the feeling of his hand on your back, pushing you closer to him was enough to let a wide smile and a fit of content sighs slip past your lips. Sounds that made Megumi's cheeks flush ever so slightly.

"I've missed you so much.." You sighed softly against the space between his neck and ear, leaving a chaste kiss right there. "Megumi."

"Don't act so surprised now.. You knew what you were doing." He muttered, almost incomprehensibly as he fumbled to unbutton your shirt, the bulge of his boxers and the haze of his eyes only serving to soak your underwear even more.

"Not my fault you can't help yourself.." He slid your blouse off of you so quick that you barely remember having it on, his warm, slim hands on your waist, then your thighs, eyes roaming on you, and your lips.

"You're right. I can't help myself, but you can." His pretty eyelashes fluttered down at you, leaning closer so he could press your back firmly to the bed, pushing his bulge against you, lips falling to your neck, a bit rough with his biting– but, if it gets the job done..

He fucked you pretty good that night.

Inumaki Toge - Mouth

Inumaki Toge who just loves your mouth. Your lips, the tint, colour, texture– the way it moves. It's a bit of a dirty secret for him, eyes always trailing to your lips whenever he talks to you, not even because he wants to kiss you, just because it's just so natural for him. Not that he doesn't want to kiss you, but sometimes it's just more fun to stick his fingers in your mouth and watch you suck them. it's a dirty secret for a reason.

Toge loves your mouth. In a sexual way and.. okay it's all in a sexual way– he just loves your mouth. He likes spoon feeding you food and watch you swallow whatever was on it, or maybe just randomly curl his fingers in your mouth, always sporting a dirty smirk during and after.

It always turns something in him on, but as much as he loves the team your mouth and his active imagination make, nothing beats your mouth wrapped around his cock, like right now.

"Mmn– Ah–" He covered his mouth, not just to save the ears of anyone near, but one slip up and he might put you in a coma, for literally fucking your brains out.

You looked up at him as you sucked him off against his bedroom door, eyes fluttering up to meet his which only drove him even more crazy, legs almost giving in as his eyes stayed on you, hips jolting forward, deeper.

Your head bobbed at a steady rythym, hand pumping what you couldn't reach, dick wet with your spit, small veins sprawled around, veins that you felt all so well, deep in your throat.

His whines and groans and grunts replaced all the curses he wanted to yell but couldn't– biting his lip– how much more could he take? He was so... so close.

But as soon as you made the decision to suck on his tip? Oh, he came undone so quick, thick strings of cum spilling in your mouth, on your lips, some on your nose and dripping down your chin.

"You cummed more than usual, did I do a good job?" You asked, tilting your head with a small smirk.

You wiped the cum around your mouth with your thumb and licked it off, analyzing the taste as– Toge's dick brushed your lip, his tip staring at you, hard again.

"Already?" It was less of a question, more a genuine plee of worry and shock, as you looked up to a blushing Toge, shrugging as he took your chin, and pressed himself in your mouth once again.

He got overstimulated, the most horrible best head of his life.

Okkotsu Yuuta - Hands

Okkotsu Yuuta who loves your hands. Whether you're tending to his injuries, or just brushing crumbs off his face, your fingers on him always results in a furious blush. His mind spirals, feeling so dizzy the way his blood rushes to his dick, it makes him feel horrible each time you innocently tend to him, but he isn't feeling so bad when he jerks off, imagining your hands instead of his. Except this time.. he didn't have to imagine.

Oh he felt so wrong– but he didn't want you to stop, he really didn't want you to stop.

It all started with the cinema staff, selling you tickets to one of their least viewed movies– ofcourse they had their doubts, a relatively young couple going to watch an unpopular movie, they knew the gist. But back then you guys really were just going to see the movie– Yuuta has been rambling about it all week, if anyone, his intentions were pure.

But he couldn't say the same now, his jeans unziped, boxers pulled down, your hand pumping his dick as he suppressed his moans, hiding his red face.

There was barely any other people, and you both were in the far back, nobody would see you guys; was your attempt at convincing Yuuta to let you give him a handjob, it didn't take much.

He was slowly getting louder, your thumb on his slit, rubbing his pretty, pink and sensitive tip, precum still dripping down his length to your hand.

"Shh, Yuuta, you need to quiet down." You leaned into him, whispering those words in his ear as he grunted, choosing to take matters in your own hands as you covered his mouth, feeling his moan on your palm.

"Mmn.. Come on Yuuta, you want to cum don't you? Then be quiet, cum all you want but stay quiet for me, 'kay?"

You pumped him faster, finally feeling him jolt as you rushed to angle his dick, away from himself, staining the back of the seat infront of him.

"M–Ah.." His muffled sounds coaxed you to remove your hand from his mouth. "Ah.. How... are we gonna clean that up?"

"Said the janitor."

You guys cleaned it up, Yuuta felt too guilty.

Gojo Satoru - Clothing

Gojo Satoru who just loves anything you wear. That's it. He's a simple guy, wear a skimpy dress and oh no, it's suddenly on the floor. Though he loves the eye candy, he isn't very patient in bed... You know that lingerie set you bought? Yeah, it's in a the pile of ripped clothing, full of many pervious lingerie sets... There really isn't any limit to his horniness, Just exist and this man is all over you.

Partys were very hectic. Drinking, games, weed, people making out in random corners in houses of... People he equally doesn't know of. But what he does know, is having you grind up on him while wearing a dress that leaves so little to the imagination, makes him feel things that can't be describes as less than insanely horny. He intends to do something about it.

"Woah.. No way you're already that wet– You want me that bad?" He laughed, bending you over the kitchen table. Nobody was there, and if someone did come, Satoru genuinely woud not care, too focused on fucking you to give any more fucks.

Your underwear was soaked, Satoru slipping them down your legs, smiling as one rub of your clit had you flinching, quickly thrusting two fingers in as he unbuckled his pants, stretching your pussy wide so he could fit, your guttural moan fueling his own, hands on your ass, spreading you as he pressed his girth into you.

He grinded his dick into you, thrusting slowly, starting off with a steady pace, your wetness lubricating his dick, sliding in and out of you so easily– fingers flicking your clit continuously as he moved in you. Your moans and the creeking of the table udnerneeth tempting him to cum right then and there, but no– no, this was way to good to finish early.

You guys got caught, and kicked out. But atleast you both finished 🤷🏿‍♀️.

Geto Suguru - Words

Geto Suguru who loves it when you talk dirty. Text him how bad you need him and he's already behind you, spreading your legs. Talk about how much you've missed him while trailing your hands on his chest and those hands will be tied together as he fucks you mercilessly (maybe a bit mercifully, he loves you after all). Imply anything and he will find the underlined want, he reads people well, and you're his favourite book.

"Mm– Ah- Suguru–!" You cummed in his mouth for what felt like the hundreth (fifth) time since you sent that text. You knew he got turned on by it but immediately ringing on your doorbell after one "I need you" text? This man was.. Something else.

His mouth worked wonders on your clit; kissing and sucking softly, tongue traveling in you resulting in his thumb replacing where his lips once were. His mouth and your cunt slick with your juices; previous releases– oh and don't forget how he worked his fingers. One finger stretched you– now imagine two of them– you could only take so much.

One hand was pressing your thigh against the couch, keeping your legs open as his other hand had two of his girthy fingers deep in you, thumb rubbing circles on your clit as his lips kissed the surrounding area– notably your inner thighs, eyes focused on your face.

Did he know how hot he looked right now? Your cunt clenched around his fingers and he smirked, only making you react further, fingers curling just the way you liked it, you made it so easy for him.

"You like that?" And you squirmed, Suguru internally noting that as a yes as his fingers moved faster, hand spreading your legs further open.

"Gonna need you to keep your legs open for me." He gazed down at you leaving a couple hickies your thighs, your thighs instinctevely closing but his grip was stronger, observing eye never leaving you.

"Come on, nothing to say?" He chuckled. "That's not what I read earlier, you need me don't you? Need me in you or my fingers? Want me to fuck you senseless or.."

He kissed your thigh up further, fingers moving at such a fast pace– Oh god you can't take much more.

"Mn–Ah–! Suguru G'nna cum– 'M so close–!"

"Yeah?"

He smirked, stopping, making you beg for release, taking a moment to revel in your desperate plees, before giving in and letting your cum on his fingers, bringing them up to his lips, murmuring something about 'way better than curses'.

"Open up."

His cum sokaed fingers teased at your lips, dripping down to your chin as you obeyed. He paused just for a second to look at your opened mouth, letting his mind run before pressing his index and middle finger deep in your throat, making you gag slightly.

"Suck my fingers."

You obeyed again, Suguru briefly muttering a 'good girl', proceeding to lower his head again, now with three fingers at his disposal.

Three fingers wasn't enough to prepare you.

Nanami Kento - Actions

Nanami Kento that just finds everything you do, insanely attractive. Walk in a certain way and he suddenly feels hot, tilt your head a bit too much and two hickeys will magically find their ways to your neck. Exorcize a curse too well, and his back will suddenly be littered with marks. It's not like he's horny all the time– you just give him no choice, not when the moment you see that glint in his eyes you're suddenly all over him. He doesn't make the rules, but you definitely abide by them.

Kento may be called a stickler for the rules but that's simply what he is. For one, he isn't one to partake in public indecency.

Gojo might, God knows Kento holds him to no standards. But he does hold himself to many, and fucking in a parking lot isn't something that fits in those standards. Not like he cares right now anyways, he's pussy drunk.

His hands were on your ass, your nipple in his mouth, licking and teasing as you bounced on him, your body above him, hips raised ever so slightly to fuck you aswell, breathy grunts leaving his lips.

It's not his fault that during your weekly night drive you decide to tease him. Sure, holding his hand isn't technically teasing, but– Come on, you were rubbing his finger so suggestively– pulling his hands from your thigh closer to your core– you can't blame him.

The car was feeling all too warm, his seat moved back to accommodate the both of you, his hand under the crook of your knee, raising your leg so he could–

"Mn‐Ah! Kent-ngh–!" He slapped your ass. hips rutting up into you, so deep but not deep enough– lewd squelching sounds muffled by the sound sounds your moans, having to brace yourself by holding onto the car door, anything–

"Agh–" He cummed, velvety walls getting filled with his warm seed, cock still in you so nothing could spill out, mouth moving from your sentive nipples up your neck to your lips, soft and supple, your cunt clenching around him, fluids meshing together.

"This was a one time thing. Next time will be in bed."

The next time, was in fact, not in bed.

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a child I was struggling at school, and I was unhappy, so my parents started taking me to a therapist. I ended up telling this therapist that I wanted to be a girl. I hadn’t heard the term transgender yet, but I knew I wasn’t a boy.

This therapist told me that it was a fetish. It was my first time hearing the word fetish. She told me that wanting to be a girl was something bad that I should be ashamed of. I was told not to tell my parents because they would be disgusted, and that if anyone found out it could ruin my life.

I held onto that shame for a decade until my senior year of high school when a transgender student started going to my school. I never met her, but I saw her around, and heard people talk about her. This was a transwoman living her life openly and publicly. She was doing the very thing that I was told would ruin my life, but her life didn’t seem ruined. She had friends, and seemed happy. Happier than me.

A year later in October 2013 DC comics published Batgirl #19 by Gail Simone. In this issue Batgirl’s roommate Alysia Yeoh came out to batgirl as a transwoman. Batgirl was so loving and accepting in that moment. My favorite superhero didn’t see anything wrong with being transgender. I sat at my computer reading peoples reactions and reviews to this comic for hours. I sent the author an anonymous message on tumblr thanking her for helping me find the strength to love myself.

I still had a long way to go before I was able to come out, but these things helped me start to heal. This is why visibility and representation are so important. Seeing another trans person in real life, and seeing trans people in the media I was consuming helped me be less afraid, and helped me hate myself less. In october 2019 I started HRT at 25 years old. Nearly 5 years later I’m happier than ever, and I love life.

[cathnospam]

Continuing from This Drabble about you and your BF Katsuki answering sex questions about each other<3

Black Female Reader x Katsuki Bakugo , mentions of panty stealer bakugo, slight smut???

“Okay uh, how do you rate your partners kisses 1-10.”

“9”

“9?! Muthafucka I taught you how to kiss—-“

“You always push back first like you can’t handle it, it pisses me off.”

“I like breathing.”

“So.”

Rolling your eyes, “I was ganna say 12/10, but since you’re being a bitch—“

“So, 12/10 got it. Next.”

“Does your partner have any dirty secrets?…oooh.—-”

“M’going to bed.” Bakugo immediately gets up to take off his tank top seeing as he was going to sleep in your dorm tonight, but as the shirt clung to his semi flexing biceps you grab him, “No, y/n.”

“Oh c’mon boy are the secrets THAT bad?! I’ll tell you mine at least—-fuck.” He considers for a moment. Curiosity weighing heavier than his will to sleep at the moment, “You ass.”

“What did you call me—“

“I think…” You place two fingers on his soft lips, “One secret is that……….one time, when you were out on work study you left your black tank top in my room….and….i missed you….and i was ovulating so i….put on your tank top and ….played…with myself.”

The air was thick, it’s as if Bakugo took it as he grew closer to you while speaking, there wasn’t much to make him speechless but dammit that’s a new one.

Fuck. That’s actually more sexier than he wants to admit right now. He crossed his legs, hoping a tent won’t form in his grey sweats and noticed your eyes wandering at every part of your room but his eyes.

“I…moaned your name too.”

“You…you damn….pervert fuck—-“ His voice almost broke into a groan, looking away also embarrassed you knew he didn’t mean it in a malicious way from how he looked back at you, Adam’s Apple bobbing up and down, “Stop acting fucking weird. You did it. Who cares. As long as it was MY name you moaned.”

“Of course dumbass. I only want you…”

Bakugo felt his ears burning, already annoyed he was flustered once he groaned, “I took your panties once.”

“What?”

“Why the hell would you wear that lacy frilly shit during class in that short ass skirt? It’s like you want those idiots to see you.”

“That CANNOT be the reason—“

“IT IS. If you’re ganna wear ‘em wear them IN OUR dorms you dumbass.”

“…well.”

“Well what.” He pouts.”

“Well where the fuck are they I like wearing them after I get waxed.”

Bakugo hesitates, not wanting to actually answer mainly because he doesn’t just have ONE pair of panties. But a few. “I’ll show you later.”

“Tch.” You mock his sounds, “Ever use ‘em to masturbate?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

You giggle, you can only imagine what his perverted ass has done with them. And the last time you seen them was in your hamper so you assumed they got lost somewhere in the laundry. Honestly it’s kinda….interesting he’s telling you this.

“Does your partner have any no’s during?”

“I’m not calling you a bitch.”

“Aw.” You sarcastically sigh, “Why.”

“Why the hell would I call you out your name—“

“You called me your slut yesterday.”

“…Slip of the tongue.” He crosses his arms like a child, making you giggle. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize it was hot.” You say adjusting yourself closer to him, you could actually feel the heat from his body rise as you kept speaking, “It’s fine. Degrading isn’t something I’d need from you anyway.”

“I don’t get that kink, who the hell likes to be disrespected by someone they…are y’know with.”

You shrug, you understand why certain people have kinks, but it’s hard to put in words for someone like Katsuki. He’s a very simple man when it comes to relationships. Almost traditional and old fashion which is what charmed you the most about him. He never even called you a bitch before in any sense nor has he ever told you anything that would genuinely hurt your feelings, “Some people are just into that.” You concluded, your boyfriend looks at you with an unresolved look, but accepts it anyway. Weirdos.

“I wouldn’t hit you either. Like in the face or anything. Only on the ass”

“Good because my face is too pretty for that.” Katsuki smirks at you, you’re absolutely right you’re too pretty for him to hit.

“Nobody else.”

“Hm?”

“…Nobody else is allowed to join us.”

Squinting for a moment his statement clicks , “OH! No threesomes and stuff. Oh yeah of course not. If I see you with any other girl I’ll kill you and her.”

Katsuki swallowed his laughter, masking it with a clearing of his throat, your eyes not tearing from his making sure he knew you were serious. You don’t scare him typically, but he knew the moments when you genuinely had an aura about you that screamed “Fucking try to play with me.” And this was one of those moments. “You look at me like I didn’t just fucking say —“

“I know.” Your voice cracked a little trying to cover up the jealous tone you were about to spew out. Just the thought of Katsuki touching another girl had you upset.

Little did you know it was the same for him with you.

“Anything else?”

“I won’t do race or age play.”

“What the hell…?—-“

“Well I am black so obviously no and then you have age play which is just a cute way of saying you like children—-“

“WHAT?”

You pause to cover up his loud mouth with your small hands, “SSSHH! Before we get in trouble again!…anyway moving on!”

Not wanting to argue, he takes your laptop and smacks your hand away, “What is something you DONT like that your partner does during sex.”

“Take my laptop away from me.”

He strikes you and look, he doesn’t say anything verbally but he says “quit fucking around” with his eyes, admitting defeat that he won’t give you back your laptop you sit back and think for a moment.

“Eh…Oh! I don’t like that you won’t let me ride you.”

Damn it.

He had a feeling you’d say that too. Bakugo scratches the back of his neck roughly while letting out a groan. Throwing his head back a little he side eyes you, “Why do you wanna be on top so bad. I’m the man I should—“

“It’s not even about dominating you or anything you can still fuck me from below, ‘Suki. You’ll still have all the power.”

Bakugo has seen porn videos where the guy fucks up into the girl. Even some where the man is straight up holding the girl up and pumps her full. It’s so erotic he couldn’t even finish the video, but even though he enjoys vanilla sex, he is quite certain riding him isn’t too far off from what he likes.

Besides he loves having your tits bounce in his face and feeling your nipples practically bounce into his mouth makes up of great reason.

“…Fine. But when I’M ready.”

“Yaaaayy mkay….now what is something YOU don’t like about me.”

“You’re ganna be pissed.”

Your smiles immediately transforms into a straighten line, “Uh oh.”

“I don’t …like when you cum too fast.”

It was a bit embarrassing yet confusing to hear. Clearly that means he’s doing a good job so why —

“Because I want to keep fucking you.” Bakugo speaks up as if he read your inner thoughts, all you could do was blink a few times at him, and he continued more, “Even though I don’t cum until after you do which isn’t that long, sometimes I wanna keep going. I’ve timed it, the moment I start fucking you sex only last about 6-8 minutes.”

“That’s average. Some people are 2-3 minutes.” You spoke with an unimpressed and deadpanned voice mostly because this sounded ludicrous to you and Bakugo seen it in your expression causing him to sigh in annoyance. “Shouldn’t your ego be filled knowing you make me cum fast?”

“Yeah, but —-fuck sue me for wanting more. And don’t say some shit like I’m a nympho or some shit because that’s fucking disgusting and those freaks are usually only in a relationship to fuck—-“

“OKAY OKAY CALM DOWN, BOY!” His voice kept getting louder and louder and you refused to have another write up because you have him in your dorm past curfew…again. “I get it though.”

“You want to be overstimulated.”

What? Bakugo scrunched yo his eyebrows. He never heard that term before used when talking about sex.

“Overstimulated means …well… showing you is actually better than telling you.”

In an instant Bakugo’s furrowed eyebrows soften, his gaze transitioned from confused to darker and subtly lustful. You felt the vibe of the room change so quickly you practically had to clear your throat to make him focus again.

“So the next question…”

“Nah, show me.” He firmly shuts your computer and places it on your nightstand. Arms still crossed, “Show me what that word means or should I look up a video and figure it out myself.”

“….y’can.”

It wasn’t ideal for your evening to end like this with him, but it’s just you and your slightly horny boyfriend watching porn videos.

What’s the worse that can happen?

[seventeenpins]

new rules

pairing: ex!Worst!Logan Howlett x f!reader word count: 2.7k summary: You've been broken up for long enough. It shouldn't be this hard to stay away. content/warnings: smut, angst, Logan's a disaster alcoholic, suicidal ideation, unhealthy relationships, big dick a/n: I didn't expect the Logan bug to bite me, but here I am, horny for this old man, writing a songfic in the year of our lord two thousand twenty four. Dua Lipa's "New Rules" came on shuffle and I needed to make it about our big boy. Thank you to the loml @ozarkthedog for being the best human alive and also for hyping me up, reading it thru, and telling me "it made me actually want to try to fix him" 😅

You’re in your pajamas, toothbrush in hand and moisturizer shining on your face, when the screen of your phone lights up. You wince when you see the contact name.

DO NOT PICK UP

You watch as it rings out, and you exhale when the comfort of the black screen returns.

And then it lights up again.

Just ignore it. Just ignore it.

As you’re spitting your toothpaste into the sink, the screen lights up again, DO NOT PICK UP flashing across.

It’s a bad idea. It’s always a bad idea. 

But as it lights up a fourth time, you hit accept. As you bring the phone to your ear, you already know what you’re going to say; you need to stop calling like this; have you been drinking?; this isn’t going to happen again–

And then you hear his voice. It’s just a single word, and comes out more as a croak than anything else.

“Hi, baby-”

Just like the first time. The third. The five hundredth. It makes you fucking melt, makes your body heat and your stomach flip.

“Hi Logan.”

—

“It’s been too long, sweetheart-” 

“Yeah, well-” you sigh. You know how this always goes. “I told you not to call.”

“But you answered.” 

Even over the line he sounds smug. You wish you could punch him, god, if only. But you knew from past experience that his adamantium bones and entirely unfair regenerative powers would leave him perfectly unblemished, while you nursed a broken hand.

“Sooo-,” you venture, “Is there something you need?”

It was better to play clueless, you reasoned; You weren’t gonna jump the gun. You would make him spell it out.

"Just you, hon,” his voice is low and dangerous and you think you might really hate him this time.

“You know it’s nearly midnight, don’t you? Are you ever gonna call me when you’re sober?”

You hear a noncommittal grunt on the other end.

“What do you want, Logan?”

He takes a deep breath.

“Can I come over? I’ve just been missing you. Been a rough day.”

“No.”

“Please, baby? I need you. Please?”

You close your eyes and exhale. Ten calls ago, you might have tried to hide the frustration, but you’re well beyond that now.

It’s always a bad idea. Always makes you remember the bits of him you miss desperately. Your nights together. How you still fucking love him.

“Can take care of you, princess-“ he pleads.

“I hate when you call me that. And no, you can’t. You can’t even take care of yourself, Howlett.”

He huffs a laugh. “Been doin’ alright a couple hundred years. Keepin’ myself alive.”

You don’t want to say the question neither of you will acknowledge.

Is this really living?

“Fine. You can come over.”

“I’ll be there in five.”

“Motherfucker-! Have you been on your way this whole time, Lo?”

With a snort, he ends the call.

He’s on you before you can even get the door closed behind you. His hands are cradling your head as he kisses you deeply. You were right; he tastes like cheap whiskey. And cigarettes, you realize. Fucking cigarettes. And then you remember– he’s all but abandoned his cigars, as though the pain of losing a vice was part of his penance. 

With an awkward foot you try to hook the bridge of your foot along the edge of the door, pull at it, but instead of closing it you just overbalance, tumbling further into him.

He catches you as if it was nothing, as if he were so innately steady he’d always be there to break your fall.

When he has you back on your feet, he gets right back to it, tearing at your clothing and his, pulling your top over your head, fumbling with the drawstring of your bottoms. He cups your breasts, pinching and teasing, and walks you backwards till the backs of your knees hit the foot of your bed and you tumble. 

Logan tumbles with you, his hold on you never ceasing, and now you can feel how hard he is against you.

It sends a shiver down your spine.

You’ve missed this. Fuck you’ve missed this. What kind of self-destructive dumbass judgment were you letting rule you? 

You need to gain some control back.

“Condom,” you tell him. 

He rolls his eyes.

“I’m not joking, Logan. Should still be in the top drawer.”

He exhales with a chuckle, but pulls his beater over his head and lets you get an eyeful of his toned chest before leaning over and sliding the drawer open.

Then, he rummages around, pulling back with a shit-eating grin. 

In his hand is a roll of condoms, classic fit.

“You got a little boyfriend?” he asks, and you feel your face heat.

“Shut the fuck up, Logan.”

“Now I’m not seeing the Magnum’s in here. You sure you still have them? Or are you so busy fucking dumbass boys with little pricks that you can’t even bother to pick up the phone?”

“The condoms are just in case– better to be prepared– and besides it’s none of your fucking business if I’m sleeping with anyone else!”

“You know I can’t get STIs, right?”

You do know. You remember that first conversation years ago. You grit your teeth.

“And if you’re so worried,” he continues, “I’ll buy you Plan B.”

“Move,” you tell him, and he scoots back so you can look in the drawer yourself. Much to your chagrin, he’s right. Not a single gold packet in sight.

You groan, and he laughs.

You should tell him no. Should tell him that if he wants to fuck you, he needs to go out and get some. Because it’s not even the risk of any sort of transmission, or even the risk of pregnancy that gives you pause. It’s the intimacy. The way you can hardly bear it when you can feel him dripping out of you. The love you still have for him, even after everything. 

The way you know he still needs you, too. More than you need him. But after everything he’s done, everything he’s been through, everything he’s lost– you can’t bear to be another thing he loses, not fully.

But now he’s straddling you, scooting you backwards towards the head of the bed. His cock presses heavy against your thigh, and you’re so overwhelmed by the way he’s pressing kisses along your jaw and nibbling behind your ear, you barely notice as he lifts your hips to pull your panties down. His nails scrape down your back and the angry scratches start to bloom with heat. 

You don’t realize you’re both fully naked until you feel the heat from him press against you, the slick of his weeping cockhead dragging a trail just below your navel, down down down-

He strokes himself twice and lines himself up, pressing against your opening. You wait for the feeling, for the way he always slams inside you, but he surprises you. Presses the tip in and rocks himself gently, easing you open.

After a moment (and hardly a single inch) he pulls out and sits up.

For a gut-wrenching second, you think he’s changed his mind, and how fucking dare him? He’s not the one who gets to back out of this. Fuck.

But then his cock is replaced with his hand, and he pumps himself with his left, while pressing inside of you with his right, scissoring his fingers open, pulling whine and moan and gasp out of you, coaxing you along with his filthy mouth the whole way.

“Jesus Christ,” he sighs, letting out a groan when you squirm against him, “You’re tight as the first time I fucked you. Clearly no one’s been takin’ care of this pussy, huh?”

Two fingers become three, and you’re overwhelmed with sensation, pleasure taking over any rational thought.

“That’s it, honey, open up for me. Such a shame no one’s been fuckin’ you right. Would make you feel good every damn day if you’d let me.”

He rubs against your clit in unyielding circles and pulls you right to the edge. You feel yourself dripping, thighs trembling, and tears rolling down your face, but just as you’re about to cum he stops. He guides your arms upwards and pins you down by the wrists with one rough hand and leans over, caging you against the bed. In a second beat, he knocks your legs wide, baring you fully, and he presses himself in. You’re beyond slick and the glide is exquisite. The feeling of his bare cock pressing into you makes you shudder with arousal. The wiry hairs at the base of his cock grind against you, making you shake. 

He fucks you deep and slow. The drag is exquisite. He pulls almost the whole way out, before rocking back in again, his foreskin adding to the delicious glide. With every thrust he’s burying himself so deeply you’d swear you could feel him in your belly.

“You’re openin’ up so nice, takin’ it so good,” he growls, and you feel a thrill of pleasure bloom through your body at the praise. “Been missin’ this. Miss how soft you feel around me. Have you been missin’ your old man, too?”

You don’t even register he’s asked a question till his palm is swatting your jaw. It’s not painful, it doesn’t even sting. And it does exactly what he’d hoped; it refocuses you on him.

“Wha- What?” you ask, coming back to him, whilst feeling your peak build and build and build-

“Have you been missin’ your old man, princess? 

“Fuck you, Logan.”

“Use your words.”

“Yes-”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes I’ve been missing you. Stop looking at me like that, Lo. C’mon now, fuck me like you mean it.”

You can’t deal with him being sincere right now. You need it rough and you need it mean.

It takes him a moment to pull himself away but then he does, obliging as if he can read your thoughts. He pulls out, leans back, hooks your legs over his shoulders, and makes you moan as he folds you in half. He’s pressing so much deeper now than he had only a moment ago. Any gentleness that had been there disappears immediately.

He’s panting, letting out heavy grunts as he slams into you and sweat drips down his temple. 

As he fucks you, he drives into you cruelly but you match each thrust. Every time he knocks you back, you press against him harder and heavier. Make sure it hurts, for both of you.

He’s never been a selfish lover and makes you scream on his cock, cumming three times in rapid succession, each peak that little bit higher. Each peak is a little bit harder. 

You’re boneless and spent. When he cums inside you, his claws shoot out, angrily splintering existing notches on your headboard. Blood trickles down between his knuckles. One drop lands on your lips, the perfect kiss from this mess of a man. Another drop lands on your new linen pillowcase.

At least you got those tide pens. 

You want to tell him off about the headboard–the splintered edges are ugly and ragged. But the fact you hadn’t gotten a new headboard is kind of on you. It may as well be an invitation.

You add a note to your shopping list. Plan B.

—-

You wake up alone in a dark room. The first thing you see is your bedside alarm clock, red blinking numbers telling you it’s 3:12 AM. Then, you hear a rustling in your living room.

You step out to investigate, bleary-eyed, to find Logan silhouetted in front of your liquor cabinet, bottle of amber liquid in hand. He raises the bottle and takes a swig.

Back to this-

"Go home, Logan.” You tell him, and he startles at your voice.

"Baby- I been havin’ bad dreams-” 

You cut him off. "I’ll call you a cab. You’re not staying here, trying to drink yourself to death on my sofa-”

"Sweetheart,” he cuts in, “You know it never sticks-“ 

He says it with a grin like it means nothing, and it’s mean. Makes your stomach flip.

This is the closest either of you had ever gotten to the depths of it all. You’d both been pretending for so long.

You leave the room.

A minute later, you’re back, and Logan has emptied the bottle.

"Get dressed.” You toss his shirt at him. It smacks him in the face and falls unceremoniously to the floor. “Cab’s on its way. You owe me for the whiskey.”

He nods. His movement is loose, and you can see the booze is finally affecting him. More than just making him gutsy, it’s making him sloppy. Every movement is sluggish as he redresses.

"You wanna know why?” He asks, and it comes out slurred.

You ignore him. “I’ll walk you down. Get home safe, okay?”

He nods again. Looks like he’s trying to put on a show to prove just how sincere he is.

You kick his shoes towards him, and help him with his jacket when he struggles.

A horn honks outside, and you both look to the window. When you turn your head back, though, he’s only inches away from you, whiskey-breath across your cheek, and a wearier frown than he’s ever let you see before.

"When I drink I don’t dream-,“ he tells you, “Claws don’t come out.”

Then he kisses you on the cheek, turns on his heel with an unsteady sway, and leaves your home.

You struggle for hours to fall back asleep, the bed suddenly much too big.

You ignore his calls for a week. They come through later and later. Nine PM, ten. Midnight. Two.

And then one night you get a text. 

He’s rarely one for texting, so to see the notification makes your heart speed up and your stomach flip.

DO NOT PICK UP - Attachment: 1 Video

With a single, hesitant tap, you open it.

You’re not sure what you expected. Something dramatic, maybe? Something miserable? You hope to god he’s not figured out some way to make himself an adamantium bullet. It’s a fear that’s bounced around in your head for a while now, but you’d never ask just in case he hasn’t thought of it yet himself.

Whatever it is, though, it has to be something that will make your heart ache and your head spin and–

It’s anticlimactic. Kind of.

It’s just a video of him, phone angled to show him in his steamed-up mirror.

There are dark shadows beneath his red-rimmed eyes, but besides that, he looks as perfect as ever. You can’t see below his hips, but you know Logan and you know he’s fully naked. His body hair is slick, his skin glowing from being freshly showered.

This fucking asshole knows exactly how to get you.

You hit play. 

At first, you can barely tell it’s a video. And then you see the way his arm is moving. He’s holding his phone with one hand, his other casually stroking himself just below the frame of the video.

“You gonna stop ignoring me?” he asks, his voice a throaty purr. “Quit playing games. Get your ass over here and let me take care of you.”

AND, you realize with a twinge, you text with him so rarely, you never turned off read receipts.

Three dots appear and you know that he knows you’ve seen it. 

A moment later, the text comes through.

“Ready for you, princess.”

God, if only it would take more than that.

As if overtaken by a horny ghost, you’re already slipping your panties off and putting on your favorite skirt. 

You’re at his house an hour later. 

You let him guide you. Taste you. Fuck you. Fight with you. 

You let him devour you, and let yourself fall in with him, in with the guilt and the anger and the hate and self-pity.

And fuck, it’s the love, too. It never went away.