You want to be so chaotic
It took me much too long to connect this back to a tag I left on the Wanker's Day Fest lol -- I was like, yeah I always wanna be chaotic, and what of it???
But I guess stay tuned tomorrow! 👀
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Gentlemen Prefer Nature Girls (Doris Wishman, 1963)
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thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.
And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.
And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.
And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?
Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.
Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.
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The Timeline Shifted, and Sam is conflicted...
So! A Timeline Shift occurs one day (thanks Barry) while Team Phantom are in the Ghost Zone helping Clockwork with a few things. As they are going back to the Human World, Clockwork gives them another cryptic piece of advice.
"Unfortunately the world will not be the same as it once was. Samantha, you will find this especially Jarring, but keep an open mind."
Before they can ask what happened, he shoves them through their own respective Portals, and Sam lands in an Alleyway in Gotham.
She is confused, but a green glowing sticky note appears in front of her telling her 'go to the nearby park, you will see what I was talking about'
She walks over, and sees a lady with Green Skin tending to some flowers. Her head is covered by a Hat, so Sam can't see her face.
They strike up a Conversation, and Sam finds that this Lady is great. She loves taking care of Plants, she hates it when Companies pollute the Earth, and she even has Plant Powers just like Sam!
It occurs to her that she never asked for the Lady's name, so she asks and the lady lifts her Hat to reveal her face. And Sam freezes.
"Oh, sorry for not introducing myself. My name is Pamela Isley."
Thats her Mom's Maiden Name.
This lady has her Mom's Name.
This is her Mom.
Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh shit.
...
Read the tags for extra context
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