#it's getting added to the meredith playlist

[moinsbienquekaworu]

My dad had us all in the living room so he turned on the TV and showed us the clip of Ego Death by Polyphia (ft. Steve Vai) and he was so hyped about it! It's really more his thing than ours, my mom is into Björk, I usually like pop and my brother likes ??? music?? but he was really into it and it was cute. It's a cool song though, I'm not big into guitar but it's a fun listen

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

Starkid innit: the most magical experience

It took me a full day to even begin to know where to start with this post and then took me all day yesterday to type out. Normally to do one of these posts after a show I frantically note down everything I can remember in the interval and as soon as I can afterwards, but I was too overwhelmed by this show to even do that. And thank god so many people filmed so much of the show so I don’t have to rely on memory for all the little things. This will be kind of stream of consciousness thought dump of everything that made this experience so incredible, feat. a lot of Feelings. It’s much too long! Over 2500 words - you’ve been warned!

Looking at all the pictures and videos from the show, it feels surreal that I was there in a way that I don’t think any other shows I’ve gone to have. Maybe because I can’t believe we finally got a full UK Starkid show. Maybe because it was Starkid selling out the fucking London Palladium, twice (and the added production value that came with that). Maybe because we got the concert premiere of new stuff alongside iconic moments included from previous concerts that I’ve watched a hundred times and now got to see live. Whatever it was, I still can’t quite believe it and I’m so grateful I got to be there. And my GOD was luck on my side getting a front row centre seat in that ticket hell 🙏😭

Right from the staple sing-along outside the theatre before the show the excitement was as palpable as you’d expect from a crowd where so many people had been waiting such a long time to see these people live. And I think a lot of Starkid fans but especially international fans have had the feeling of isolation that comes with being a fan of a relatively “niche” group (though their popularity is only growing), so to get to be in a room full of people who understand the references and scream as soon as the opening notes of a song play is the best thing

Starting with tgwdlm feels like an excellent choice being from the show that created a new wave of fans while still catching some of the people who might not be caught up with the newest shows. And I know we had it at jangle ball too but love love getting to see Brian and Meredith be part of the hatchetfield stuff

And having NPMD songs performed live for the first time was just as exciting and special as I was expecting!! Was not expecting HSIKM WITH some OG choreo but I am grateful for it. Jaime messing up the Literal Monster lyrics at the matinee is 100% understandable and I thank her for that because Lauren cracking up at the complete nonsense lyrics she made up was too good. Love the OG choreo there including Lauren grabbing Joey for no reason whatsoever 😌 Slay of Lauren to bring out the Ruth voice too. Jeff gave a killer performance of NPMD and we understood the assignment with the Richie part

And Together 😭 TOGETHER 😭😭 I said that was a song I’d absolutely love but was definitely not at all expecting them to play so I got UNBELIEVABLY excited seeing it on Mere’s playlist and it was EVEN better than I imagined 😭 Angelic!!!! I love women!!!! Seeing their friendship shine through on stage is so special and Lauren supporting Mere through the lyric mess up in the matinee and also her laugh were the cutest things. And then from the front row at the evening show I don’t think I even breathed. They sounded amazing in the OG show but EVEN better now and I truly could not be more grateful to them for putting that on the setlist. A literal dream that I will be thinking about for the rest of my life. I still can’t believe it. AHHHHHH!!!!!!

Happy we got Our Doors are Open cause I love that song!

Jaime singing Harry but dedicated to Nori was very cute and making that a flashlight moment is one of the sillier things we’ve done

So glad Clark got his moment with I Was where we all sat in enraptured silence listening to his magical voice and some never before heard lyrics

I will be so honest and say there was the tiiiiiiiiiniest part of me sad when Joey started introducing Sidekick because I knew that meant my Status Quo hopes were dashed. However had I not seen it at homecoming I probably would have been rooting for Sidekick because it is the better *performance* for Joey, he absolutely owns the stage and it was still a delight to hear it again, and with his continued vocal improvement. Audience participation on point too of course. And when I saw Lauren standing in the wings before he started I knew I could not let myself keep looking over there but shoutout to everyone who did get footage of her being the proudest wife there is

Oh lordddd the Rogues Medley update we’ve been praying for (even if not in the way I expected). I had a feeling that’s what was coming when they started Not Over Yet based on the interview Brian did but to hear that transition into Feast or Famine was crazyyyyyy. Rogues Medley is such an iconic piece of Starkid history and it’s so cool that they gave us that. Fucking of course Brian fucked up the verses in Not Over Yet but he is a master at styling it out and him making Lauren laugh with that song feels like time honoured tradition (okay I’m just thinking of that leaky 2017 performance). First Feast or Famine in concert was so good although Joey and Lauren leaning on each other at EVERY little duet bit… relax babes. And Rogues, I knew if we got it we’d have Lauren doing the harlots and the hussies bit and I still did not adequately prepare myself

Brian calling Meredith wifey in We Got Work to Do was gold. SO so so happy to hear climate change, they did that because I stopped myself from spending a stupid amount of money to go to jangle ball. Still obsessed with Lauren’s little riff. And her moves? HOT. And we LOVE Meredith’s music getting so much love as it SHOULD

The forgotten songs section was hilarious but could have been about 20% shorter Brian was not wrong about them milking that bit Biggest of shout outs to the person who yelled Boy Toy for Lauren to respond “don’t make me do that” and I believe the same person who yelled fucking Airport 4 Birds and had her momentarily stunned. Her rendition of Hideous Creatures was heavenly no joke. Brian doing his soundcheck song did not read so well at the matinee lmao but I personally thought it was perfect. And Lauren joked about the open vibe but genuinely I love that they were confident enough they could do some obscure songs and not have an absolutely dead audience. Can’t believe we got TWO MAMD songs although they really should have let Joey sing Even Though (I know it wouldn’t have been *funny* okay)

What did not need to be even one second shorter was the shirt bit. No notes. Especially Brian trolling Lauren with “roll on the floor like Draco”

Back on top was amazing, they all sounded so good and again, love to see the Ani music getting recognition. And at the evening show I was watching Lauren do the choreo in the wings which was absolutely adorable

What if I now write the entire length of this post just about Granger Danger lol. Didn’t even realise until this post that they had the two OG Starkid couples back to back (at least I’m going off the order of the setlist I saw on twitter I do not actually remember the order lmao) Their whole “brand new song” bit was everything to me, I really could watch them riff off each other for hours. And honestly it was the perfect thing to do KNOWING what the reaction would be to the two of them coming out because what fucking else would they be singing. Apart from the person who genuinely thought we were getting Priceless because they forgot Granger Danger existed, you know who you are. As in my other post, I had said I wouldn’t mind if, as long as I got to see one married Granger Danger live (which I then did), they stopped singing Granger Danger, but that was only if they were getting sick of it and on the condition they did in fact replace it with Priceless. But I will NEVER get sick of watching them do it (even if the heart eyes on stage continue to make me a little sick) and I love that they do still have fun with it. The universal excitement with those opening notes is the best thing. Continuing to say “it gets different” was funnier than it should have been, they are comedians. And how far back she leaned on him at that evening show was truly insane and I thank them for giving me one of my new favourite pics (even if Lauren laughing and Joey’s hand going back to make sure she wouldn’t fall made me want to sobbbbb). 15 years of this song and it’s still getting more iconic and you all know how deeply special it is to me and I’m so happy to have gotten to see it again. King and queen of Starkid for real for real

Corey Show Stoppin Number was CRAZY he killed it

Jaime’s speech before Not Alone was incredibly special and I think Darren would agree that the song actually ended up exactly where it needed to be. But her saying she’s been singing it for 15 years of course had me thinking about the same thing for granger danger which is absolutely not something I was emotionally strong enough for in that moment!!! But blessed to get the beautiful harmonies and as always the audience singing Darren’s parts is the best

Superfriends is ofc so fun and Jeff nailed the Robin parts (unlike someone else there might have done (sorry Joey)). And again, there’s something so nostalgic about seeing it with that classic choreo too

And mashing it up with WANNABE oh my god. I did see someone say they didn’t know why they did that song and I’m like,, do you know how to have fun?? I get it we’re there to hear Starkid songs but this isn’t like a once in a lifetime situation (love that performance but it was a song for them not the audience and they knew it lmao), it’s actually perfect for Starkid. “Friendship never ends” you’re fucking right it doesn’t, 15 years of making stuff with your friends. And I’m being so serious when I say it’s one of my favourite performances they’ve ever done. I also might never get it out of my head and I’m fine with that. The accents? The boys in the back? The dancing? Brian? And then Brian and Joey?? (and ofc the evening performance where Lauren was touching Joey after “if you wanna be my lover” and where he put his hand on her back as she was stepping up on the stage and I once again wanted to sob) It was JOYFUL

And then GBTH as the encore we all knew was coming because no way were they leaving without singing that one. Whatever some people might have to say about it, it is SUCH a special song to hear in a room full of Starkid fans, and especially this version where we sang the beginning. No doubt they couldn’t have imagined performing that song on a stage like this when they were singing it in Studio 1, but it’s so deserved because they’re all absolute superstars. And their friendship and the fun they have onstage together has remained so integral to what makes them work and it never gets any less special to witness. I love that after over a decade of singing this song they STILL get the words wrong and it doesn’t even matter because we’re singing it so loudly. I love the sheer power Lauren radiates every time she sings her part and her happiness when we scream ours. And then I watched her smile looking out at the audience during the train part and I’m just so proud we were part of making this show so incredible for them and proud of them for doing it 😭 Singing happy birthday to Jeff in the middle was really cute too

Also, can’t believe we got to witness the most INSANE shirt pic happen live??!!? A shirt pic in front of a crowd of 2000 people, I keep looking at it and I’m like how is that not photoshopped?? But it’s real!! I was there!! And it’s honestly the most Starkid move of all time to perform their sold out Palladium concerts in matching pyjama shirts. Ngl there was a tiny part of me that didn’t want the matching shirts because I wanted to see the Concert Fits but I didn’t even need to worry because Lauren still came to serve. Hottest girl I’ve ever seen but also just the cutest human. And her hair looked so good too. (Jaime was also serving with the sparkly tights and cowboy boots)

Clearly they’re such a well oiled machine and the show ran SO smoothly that they were ahead of schedule and ended up doing a little more vamping in the evening than at the matinee. Why they chose Together (Lauren and Meredith are “too old” to want solos), Clark’s explanation of I Was originally being a solo (thank god because I felt insane at the matinee thinking ‘I’ve never heard these lyrics before’), even more references to Brian’s lack of solos. But the fuck ups in spite of that rehearsal really are just part of the Starkid charm. We love it, they know we love it, there’s no pressure to make it perfect which means all of us are just having *fun* together. But none of that takes away from how genuinely talented each and every one of them is

I do also think there’s something to be said for Brian and Lauren being the producers. They’ve really been through it all with the company and they know what works and how to serve people’s strengths. And of course we can trust Clark to put together an incredible setlist (yes there was a distinct lack of certain shows but I do think all the songs they did were a really good showcase for them and everyone had an opportunity to shine)

And Lauren of COURSE nailed the choreo for the whole show, it would be impossible for her not to. Honestly cannot reiterate enough how much of a queen she was in every aspect of this show. So fucking proud of her!!!!!!!!!!

And because this post wouldn’t be complete without mention of the M&G, Joey remembering my nameeee bearing in mind this is only the second time I’ve met him in person where he’d actually know me and yes the first time was only 7 months ago but I still don’t know how he recognised me there either. He seemed so proud to remember it too. And I knowww it’s not special to me he just has a good memory for that but the fact is he DOES make you feel special and I love him!! The best man. And I’m glad I got to give them the bracelets I made, Lauren’s reaction to seeing hers said precious angel was the sweetest and I really am trying to be normal about Joey only wearing the one from me (but it said Diane’s dad and was in michigan colours so… I think I nailed it) It was the sweetest thing seeing how many bracelets some of them were wearing during the show though

All this to say I fucking love Starkid and I love the community they’ve created. As soon as I saw the crowd outside the theatre (which was phenomenal!!) I knew it was just gonna be one of those days it was too overwhelming to talk to many people and while the people I did talk to were lovely I think I gave out a grand total of 8 bracelets which is my second biggest regret. But @pazazzalil and @laurenlpz, meeting up with you was like being with old friends even though we hadn’t met in person in 5/6 years. Love you both (and maybe we can actually get seats together next time)

And as one last little note, while it did feel extra special having people who have been with the company for all/the majority of these last 15 years, I have loved seeing the newer Starkids being so proud of their friends 🥺

I don’t know how I’m ever getting over this show. There was no way it was going to be bad with how highly anticipated a UK show was but it went way beyond my expectations. Pure magic. And I really do believe that after that it won’t be long before they’re back here, and I can’t wait

[anattemptatmeaning]

Meredith: First Time Caller, Long Time Listener - Chapter One: Fire Starting

Author's Notes: This one's been a long time coming. Thanks to my admittedly complicated yet passionate relationship with Bullet Train, I've been able to break out of my writer's block! Advice from loved ones and even a few people in the fandom have been much appreciated and very much motivating as I write this. It's going to be on the shorter side (this chapter is only 420 words) yet separated into chapters. And just randomly, isn't character evisceration glorious? Heh...

General Summary for the fic:

"I'm here to testify. No, I gotta speak on my behalf. You don't even know what happened! Can I just tell you what happened?" - Queen Latifah, Lil' Kim ft. Macy Gray - Cell Block Tango (He Had It Comin')

Against the back drop of Adele, phone calls, and separation, Tangerine gets a blast from the past.

Standalone and not a sequel to Songs of the Lonely Heart.

Trigger Warnings: Nothing severe, although the Twins do get separated in this chapter.

Tags: @silver-spoon-paper-plate @nocturnest @pretty-little-mind33 For added immersion, listen to this playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4GV9rbpFrebDNkG3J1GGcu The theme song of this fic is Rolling in the Deep by Adele, I've been projecting onto it so much and it makes me feel badass and validated. It also fits the story and tone of this fic perfectly and Adele is a goddess. Each chapter will be named after lyrics from the song.

One: Fire Starting

Chapter Summary: Lemon gets a job which forces him and Tangerine apart. “You’re gonna wish you never had met me…” - Adele, Rolling in the Deep

Fuck.

Tangerine tapped his foot quicker, reading the message for the umpteenth time. 

The Twins always did jobs together. Always. They refused any that kept them apart. Only illness and injuries ever did. 

Then the fucking White Death added himself as an exception. Any criminal knew refusing one of his hellish missions meant signing up for more than your own fucking death sentence. 

Didn’t stop Tangerine from violently protesting when one of his goons called requesting “the more respectable one” of the two. 

“If you think I’m sitting around while my brother is with you dodgy pricks, you’re fucking mistaken!”

“The White Death wants your brother alone on that flight.”

“Yeah? Well, I don’t see you supervising me like a goddamn nanny, so what’s stopping me from walking right over there and joining him?”

“If you are there, you will watch him die.”

Fuck. Fuck the Russian mobsters. Fuck the White Death. Fuck everything. Fuck. 

“Alright, fine. If I ever find you—“

“You’ll be dead. Your brother has been briefed and will be allowed to return when the job is complete.”

“I get it, you fucking bastard—“

The other line hangs up. Tangerine slams his phone down in anguish.

“Bruv, it’s one job,” Lemon piped up with a reassuring look. Tangerine thought he was far too calm for the situation.

“Shit happens on one job,” Tangerine reasoned.

“The White Death’s no different than any other Diesel. I’ll get in, do the job, and be back in a jiffy.”

“Again with the Thomas shit. Fucking irritating.”

“Yeah, I know. But you know I never bleed.”

Tangerine let out a shaky breath behind barely restrained rage, brows set in weary concern.  Lemon was indeed miraculous at survival, but it didn’t change the danger of their lifestyles one sodding bit.

 “I know.” Softer than usual. “I don’t fucking trust this.”

“Me neither, bruv, but if we don’t–”

“I know.” Angrier. More like himself. “Doesn’t make me any less paranoid. They’re a rotten lot.”

“Aren’t they all? And the job pays mils. We’ll be set for a hot min.”

“Only if shit doesn’t get mucked up. These fuckers, they are shit.”

“It’s only a week. We’ve done longer jobs. I’ll handle it. And I won’t fucking bleed.” 

Tangerine sighed, and allowed a genuine smile to grow.

Lemon was the only one who deserved to see him smile. 

“Yeah.” Completely vulnerable. “You won’t.”

He watched his brother’s car disappear from their window.

"Before you heal someone, ask him if he's willing to give up the things that make him sick." - Hippocrates

[aquadestinyswriting]

Summer reading/writing/arting tag

I was tagged for this by the lovely @druidx

tagging: @asher-orion-writes, @warriorbookworm, @mariahwritesstuff, @ashirisu, @thesorcerersapprentice, @baelpenrose

1) Describe one creative WIP project you’re planning to work on over the summer

I'm planning on continuing to split up a lot of my original drafts of Fangthane's Folly, The Trouble with Meredith and The Wizard's Tale into multiple stories so they can be added to the relevant series. I also want to create a proper playlist for both Fangthane's Folly and The Trouble with Meredith at some point (The Wizard's Tale already has one, but more can and will be added to it).

2) Recommend a book

I've started re-reading Sabriel by Garth Nix recently. Ok, so it's a ya novel, but it still hold a special place in my heart and I love the whole series. It's one I will continuously recommend to people because the worldbuilding and magic system in it is top notch.

3) Recommend a fic

From my own writing I'll be more than happy to recommend the 'The Trouble with Meredith' series. It's made up of short stories so it's the easiest one to get into.

For other's writing: I'll go ahead and recommend @druidx's Haven's Ember series because the character writing in it is absolutely wonderful. Really, you should just check out all her stuff, but I maaaay be slightly biased.

4) Recommend music!

I absolutely must recommend Find Me by the Aviators. It's my go to piece of music for when I need something low key inspirational to listen to while mulling over plot threads and playing solitaire.

5) Share one piece of advice!

Get ye outside and into nature at some point over the summer. The best time to go, in my opinion, is around dusk if possible because that's when any wildlife that's around tends to come out. Just seeing some trees and/or grass will help immensely, I promise.

[reputationbarbie]

❝BGC❞

A/N: unedited so ignore any mistakes. i hope yall enjoy. ★ ˙ᵕ˙ liv

─⋆♡ chapter summary: the president’s daughter chooses her cabinet, attends the state dinner, and goes to the club for the first time.

─⋆♡ main tropes: Michael B. Jordan x Fem!OC, Rome Flynn x Fem!OC, Damson Idris x Fem!OC. Bodyguard x Princess, Secret Service x First Kid, forced proximity, forbidden love, tolerated enemies to lovers, college romance.

─⋆♡ chapter warnings: angst, 18+ black!writer, language, fighting, threatening, choking, physical descriptors (brief), characters affected by symptoms of anxiety or depression.

series masterlist ✰ faceclaims ✰ libby's cabinet ✰ spotify playlist

⋆ word count: 6.1k ⋆

I always disliked government meals.

The poking and prodding to get proper before standing in front of thousands of cameras is bearable. But attempting not to have any unsavory photographs released by the morning is the hard part.

Jo sits across from me on the floor with nothing but a coffee table separating us. My mother has her cabinet and I need mine. Pictures of senators and billionaire's daughters are scattered on the tabletop.

Although I want to surround myself with a diverse group of girls, there are a few powerful players who already run this town. Of the players, 3 in particular hold the key.

My finger points toward the blonde girl. “What do the Rockefellers have hands in?” I ask Jo.

Jo slides and twists the picture so it’s facing me perfectly landscape. “Everything, Libby. Literally everything. This girl is the most important person in your group,” she urges, shoving the picture closer to me.

The photo paper under my fingertips feels strange and I want to drop the material like a hot potato. “I thought I was the most important person in the group,” I complain. I’m not really concerned with status. I’d much rather fade into oblivion after my mom's term, not continue in this type of spotlight. But I’m unsure how this girl is more important than me.

“Her family makes your mom look like chump change. Now your mom with the support of the Rockefellers? That would be something,” Jo ponders aloud.

I stare at her picture, having a quick resolve over my feelings. Maybe she’s nice. “So kiss Meredith Rockefeller’s ass. Got it,” I repeat to Jo.

“What about her?” I ask, pointing to Vanessa Hermès’ headshot.

Jo softly chuckles. “Heard she was a bitch. Just be careful,” she warns me.

“Okay and her?” I move on to the final girl.

She stands from the floor, dusting herself off. “The Pearsons are loaded. Her father was one of the first people to invest in Elon Musk’s projects. Her mom was the mistress but she’s his only child. He’s up on cap hill of course,” she finishes.

I gnaw on my lip, taking time to process the information. “Interesting. What time are they coming?” I ask.

She slides her heels back on, adding some extra height to her short stature. “You’ll have afternoon tea at 1,” she sighs.

Michael abandons his book, extending his hand for me to grab. I accept it, standing from the floor. He allows me to use his support to slide on my heels and I don’t miss him squeezing my hands tightly to ensure I don’t fall. “That’s all?” I start on the next topic.

Jo reaches for the door handle but right before her fingers touch the gold, she abandons it and turns around. Fuck, I almost made it. “Actually, tonight you’re meeting Charles Armstrong Jones, Viscount Linley,” she breaks the news.

I release Michael’s hands, stepping around his now tense body. Any time my potential social life is mentioned, he gets all soldier boy. But I don’t have time to address his traits right now. “No, I’m not,” I quip.

Jo crosses her arms. “You are,” she repeats.

“Am not,” I taunt like a child.

Jo raises her eyebrows and I know she’s caught onto my little game. “You are. If you’re going on a date with anyone in the next four years, it’ll be an eligible bachelor that the white house has already approved.”

I roll my eyes, grabbing a glass of water for the table. “Fine,” I groan.

“Prince Achileas-Andreas of Greece and Denmark will be there as well,” Jo continues as I take a sip of water. 

And he will be my Achilles I’m sure. “Louis Spencer, Theodore Arnault, Patrick Finnegan,” I hear Jo cut through my spiral of thoughts.

I set the glass back down on the coffee table. “Oh wait, that’s a normal name. Who’s that?” I ask.

“He’s been fundraising for Obama since he was 11. Started his own company. He’s worth 18 million,” she expands. Every word she says sounds enticing. If there’s anyone I’d have something in common with, it’d be him.

I nod, looking up towards the ceiling as if the request for alone time with this man will come from there. “Hmm,” I mutter.

Jo clears her throat and my eyes snap towards her. She’s standing behind Michael, whose knuckles have turned white from gripping them so tightly. “Move him to the top of the pile?” asks and I know my face has given my subconscious thoughts away. 

I scratch my neck with discomfort. If I can’t have the hottest man I know, I deserve to have something equivalent. “Yeah,” I answer quietly.

“Okay, did you want anything before lunch?” asks and I can practically see her itching to leave the room.

I shake my head, waving her off. “No, I’m fine. I’m thinking of just a stroll for lunch instead of eating. The tea will have food anyway,” I explain.

She puts her hands up, spinning around. “Okay. Call if you need something. I’ll come get you when it’s time,” she finishes, reaching for the door handle.

“Thank you,” I say to her as she exits, walking over to my closet to suit up.

I swiftly take the heavy winter coat off the rack, fumbling trying to pull it onto my frame. I almost give up and grab another coat when I feel a tug on the edges. Michael holds the top open, allowing me to slide in my arm successfully on the other side. “Thanks,” I murmur, fixing the top of the garment to lay smoothly on my shoulders.

“You're welcome,” he responds before I watch him turn around and leave the room. My focus returns to getting fully dressed for the chilly weather outside and I reach for the gloves at the top of the closet. 

I’ve never noticed my short stature until moments like this. Who the fuck would put gloves this far back for someone who’s 5’4? My grunting reverberates off the wood in front of me until I eventually give up out of frustration.

I almost jump into the air when I feel the heat of a body behind me. I watch as an arm extends above my head and successfully grabs the leather accessories I’ve been dying to get my hands on. The hand retreats and when I turn around, Michael is standing there with the gloves held up by his face. 

I reach for them and he snatches them back, just out of reach. I want to smack that simultaneous smack that stupid smirk off his face and ride his tongue until he suffocates. Fuck off, horny brain. “I’m not jumping for it,” I flirt, crossing my arms.

“I didn’t ask you to,” he counters, putting his hand out palm up. “May I?” he asks for consent for what feels like a grade school level of intimacy.

I nod, putting my hands in front of me. His fingers pull the straps of the velcro back and the noise that comes from it makes my ears tingle. “You fucked the strap up yesterday. Your mom would kill me if you got pneumonia,” he scolds.

But I know that my mom has nothing to do with it. I hate him. I hate him for showing me he has a heart, for showing me he cares about me, for being perfect and just in reach but unobtainable. 

“Thank you,” I allow him to slip the soft fabric over my knuckles, tightly pulling the velcro around the cuff.

My body subconsciously leans closer to him as he moves onto my other hand. His brooding personality causes a polarity of thought in my brain. How can someone be so magnetic but such a cunt at the same time? “Good?” he questions.

I swallow thicky, batting my lashes at him. “Yeah,” I declare.

He drops my hands, stepping to the side. “After you, my lady,” he puts his arm out in an ushering manner.

“Stop calling me that,” I call over my shoulder as we walk out of the living area and into the hall. I jokingly tip my hat at the random secret service guard at my door who immediately whispers something into his earpiece.

My feet spin around and I walk backward, looking at Michael. “Do you hear everything in that thing?” I ask, pointing at his identical earpiece attached to what I assume is a radio under his jacket. 

“Yes,” he deadpans and I roll my eyes. Always so serious.

Accepting his answer, I turn around to make the descent down the steps. Why they keep the first family in the attic is beyond me.

When we reach the bottom floor, I hop down off the bottom step dramatically. The feeling of my hair flying up gives me butterflies in my stomach. My brother creepily comes around the corner, making an appearance with his green coat shrugged on. “Where ya goin’?” he interrogates me.

I stop dead in my tracks, looking around to see if we have any tour visitors before I bitch him out in the hall. “To mind my own business. Where are you going?” I quip.

Agent Flynn snickers behind him and I send him a small wave. “Trying to find some business to mind,” my brother grumbles, stepping past me.

He doesn't give me a chance to respond before jogging up the steps with Agent Flynn. TGIF.

Michael stands behind me in the green room. The clock on the wall reads 12:55pm and I sigh, staring at the tempting sandwiches in front of me. I didn’t have lunch, opting for a run to clear my brain instead. 

“You alright?” I hear Michael ask.

No, I’m not alright. You showed me you might be capable of feeling human emotion, making it much harder to hate you. “Fine,” I huff when the door opens.

I slide the chair back slightly, standing from the table and smoothing out my dress. I’m typically not this nervous, but I need this to go off without a hitch. Killing two birds with one stone by having good friends who are already in the spotlight is the smoothest this situation could go.

A woman who reminds me of Jennifer Walters walks in first dressed in a suit before a group of girls file in behind her. I see the blonde girl first, a bright smile on her face. “Oh my gosh, you’re so pretty in person! I’m Mer,” she greets me.

Her demeanor makes me feel at ease. No wonder her family has their hands in everything. They’re so goddamn charismatic. I return the smile, extending my hand for her to shake. “Nice to meet you. I’m Libby,” I say.

She pulls me closer before opening her arms. I give her a puzzled look as she waits for… something. “Oh, I’m a hugger,” she explains, pulling me into her embrace.

I reciprocate the action so Michael doesn’t put a bullet through her forehead, even though I hate hugs. “Oh okay,” I mumble.

When she releases me, another girl steps in front of me. “Hi, I’m Kendall,” she introduces herself.

I shake her outstretched hand, admiring how put together she looks. “Hi. I love your shoes,” I compliment, looking down at the pink shoes. They’re similar to mine, except they have a pretty silk bow adorning the back.

Damn, I thought my Manolo Blahnik’s were doing something. Her Saint Laurent pumps are triple mine. “Thanks. I love your outfit,” she cheers.

A short brunette girl steps in front of me with a horsedrawn carriage logo printed nearly on everything she’s wearing. “Vanessa Hermes,” she states.

I awkwardly outstretch my hand. “Liberty Washington,” I lightly mock her. I mean, come on; the stick up her ass is making my brain itch.

She doesn’t reciprocate so I awkwardly lower my hand. Instead, she looks behind me. “And who’s he?” she asks.

I turn around, walking toward the table with the girls. “Oh, that’s Agent Jordan. My secret service detail,” I say nonchalantly to the group.

“Well Agent Jordan, meet Alex and Daniel” Meredith points to the two individuals standing in the corner. “Daniel is Vanessa’s, Alex’s is mine,” she expands.

“We’ve met,” Alex extends her hand for Michael to shake and I thank the gods above that he does. I’m starting to think they didn’t test his social ability when matching him with me.

Once pleasantries are exchanged, the girls start to sit down at the table. When I go to pull out my chair, Michael stops me. I’ve learned that he’s insisted on consistent chilverly and I wonder where he got it from. 

Michael takes his familiar spot on the wall for all my meals, still directly behind me and in earshot, but not so much so that he feels intrusive. 

Kendall leans closer across the table, reaching for a finger sandwich. “I thought Daniel was hot but Agent Jordan is smoking. Where did you find him?” she asks, eyes flickering back and forth between the cold demon behind me and my angelic eyes. 

I shrug, trying to think of an appropriate way to explain this situation. “I didn’t. He kind of found me,” I respond.

My hand picks up my glass of lemonade, washing down a sweet but dry cookie. “And you’re hitting that right?” Meredith asks.

I nearly choke on the contents in my mouth. “What? N-no. I’m-i’m not allowed and neither is he,” I stammer.

“But he’s allowed to have relationships?” Vanessa presses. She’s the last person I want to give any information about my potential crush on Michael. She seems like the type of bitch to take it and use it against it at a later date.

I nod, feeling Michael staring a hole through my skull. “I assume so just not one like that with me,” I stipulate.

Vanessa’s knife scrapes against the plate while she cuts an impossible tiny sandwich. “Great, he’s open game,” she cross-examines, almost as if she’s waiting for me to slip.

My eyes survey her as she sticks the fork in the cut sandwich square, sticking it in her mouth. If Michael wants a girl that eats a sandwich with a fork then be my guest. “Have at it. I prefer men with beating hearts,” I suggest since we’re polar opposites. Selfishly, I know going for her would solidify he doesn’t want me.

Meredith’s eyebrows raise. “So you are hooking up with someone. Do tell,” she pressed.

I nearly choke on my drink. “No. Outside of the administration is playing matchmaker, I’m not seeing anyone,” I clarify.

The silence that falls over the table is deafening. The women stare blankly at me and I feel like I’m missing out on Washington’s best-kept secret. “Ahhhh,” Vanessa sighs.

My eyes observed each of their faces, each of them different and completely unreadable. “What?” I finally croak, less confidently than expected.

Meredith puts down her porcelain mug onto the saucer in front of her muttering, “We’ve all been there.”

With a bad taste in my mouth, I sit back and cross my arms. Any feeling of hunger that I once had is now eliminated. “So this is normal?” I clarify.

Kendall nods, answering for the group, “Yeah. Every powerful parent wants their kid with an equally as powerful partner.”

My mouth falls open and I dejectedly groan, “Oh.”

“Just talk to each of them for 3 minutes each in front of your parents so they see you’re making an effort and then fuck someone else,” Meredith advises.

My eyes go wide and an award silence falls over the table. I don’t even know how I’d be able to hook up with anyone with Michael always up my ass. I take a bite of a coffee on my plate and the sound of my chewing is almost taunting, so I decide to speak up. “Look I know this is weird as fuck. I’m sorry my parents played matchmaker with your parents but I really need friends for the next 4 years in DC. All my friends are in New York,” I rant.

“Oh don’t worry, we got you,” Meredith politely shoos.

Kendall nods with Meredith, tucking a piece of freshly silk-pressed hair behind her ear. “Yeah. This town is easy once you get the hang of it,” she eases my anxiety.

“What color is your dress?” Vanessa asks with a tilted head.

“Blue,” I respond and I can immediately tell that’s not the correct answer for the only girl in this group who doesn’t seem to like me.

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “We shouldn’t be photographed together. We’re all wearing black,” she complains, making me feel ostracized. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” I apologize genuinely. 

“It’s okay! Let’s lean into the jewel tones. We should start transitioning to spring colors, anyway. Right ladies?” Meredith steps in and effectively redirects the energy of the conversation. Thank god for the girl; she’s like the human representation of sugar.

Vannessa’s brows knit. “We have to start getting ready in 2 hours,” she points out.

Meredith wipes the corners of her mouth with the cloth napkin. “That’s why we have backups, darling,” she reminds her friend before turning her attention to me. “Don’t worry, Libby,” she coos.

Kendall puts her hand on my arm and when I turn my head to look at her, she’s smiling brightly at me. I hate to be the one to push a BIPOC girlie out of the friend group but there’s only room for one bitch in this town. 

Kendall retracts her hand, reaching for the next item that catches her eye. “So how did you all meet?” I ask out of curiosity. 

“Do you not know anything about us?” she cross-examines. What did I ever do to this girl?

I shake my head, looking down at the plate. I feel the anger seeping through my pores, but I know that’s not real. Anger is just the layer of emotion over frustration, Liberty. That’s what your therapist would say. “Um no,” I squeak.

“The least you could do is your research,” I hear Vanessa Scoff.

I take a deep breath, composing myself before I come clean. “Actually, I kind of did. Well, my aide did. I asked for only the need to know. I didn’t want to have a preconceived notion of you,” I stammer through my explanation. 

My eyes flicker back and forth between the girls, hoping they appreciate my openness. “Oooo, I like her,” Kendall voiced.

The corners of Meredith’s mouth quirk up. “Me too,” Meredith agrees and I smile. ⅔ isn’t bad considering women are women.

Once the dining crew sees we’re finished nibbling on our snacks, they file in, cleaning out everything. The conversation stops until the room and when they do, Kendall locks her hands and puts them on the table in front of her. “So, Libby. Do you drink?” she digs and I know I’ll have to ask about the group's history later.

I gnaw on my lip, unsure of how much I want to disclose to them. Although this is a friendship, I still need to be strategic about my words. “Ummm,” I start.

“Oh come on, you can tell us,” Vannessa urges.

I know I can tell probably Kendall and Meredith, but not so much Vanessa. At least, not yet. “I’ve been drunk a couple of times but it’s been a couple of years since I’ve tried anything,” I lie.

Meredith throws her napkin down on the table in front of her dramatically. “Oh boo. You’re def coming out with us tonight,” she demands.

“Tonight?” I ask. I’m not sure how to say ‘I need security clearance from everyone in the United States to leave the house but yes, I would love to join you.’

“Yeah, after dinner. We’ll probably go out with the whole group,” Kendall explains, snapping me out of my self-sabotaging spiral. Stop worrying, Libby. Jo can probably just say it’s for the plan.

Now, thinking about the possibility of going out tonight, I feel giddy. “Um okay, I just have to ask if I can–”

“Oh don’t worry about it. I’ll have my assistant talk to your assistant or something. You’re coming,” Meredith cuts me off. 

Okay. Cheers to making friends, Libby.

My fingers caress the smooth Tiffany blue fabric as I attempt not to wrinkle it stepping into it for the night. The fluffy tulle underneath the top layer slightly scratches my skin and I straighten my back, trying to get used to the uncomfortable feeling. I’ve been fidgeting ever since I sat in the beauty chair an hour ago. 

Michael took his break right after we came back since we’ll be going out tonight. I won’t see him until the gala, and I’m trying not to obsess over the thought of seeing him in a suit again. 

A light knocking on the wood of my door sounds through the room and I call for them to enter, figuring it’s just Jo. My mouth nearly falls to the floor when Michael walks in wearing an all-black tux. He has no tie on and the top two buttons of his shirt are undone, showing his delicious collarbone. Fucking hell. Before him, I didn’t even find collarbones attractive. I don’t miss the matching Tiffany blue pocket square that contrasts perfectly against the dark fabric.

My hands fly to the top of my dress, attempting to hide the fact that my chest is practically falling out of the garment. “Jo asked me to grab you. You need help with the zipper?” he asks, pointing towards my back.

I nod, feeling the flush spread from my cheeks to my entire body. “Um, yeah. That’d be great,” I sputter.

He quickly crosses the room until he’s standing behind me in the mirror. When his fingers grip the bottom of the dress to start zipping, they brush against my skin. I flinch slightly at the cold sensation against my spine. “My bad,” he half-heartedly apologizes, before gently tugging the zipper upward. 

As he zips up my dress, my heart pounds. I can feel my body warming up at his touch. The air is so thick it threatens to choke me. I can only wonder if he is having the same trouble. “It’s okay. Your hands are just cold,” I chuckle. 

Once the zipper is at the top, Michael reaches inside, hooking the dress. He takes a step back and lets out a large huff. Was he holding his breath that whole time?

I adjust the straps on my shoulder, smoothing the dress out in the front. “Thank you,” I say to his reflection in the mirror.

“Mm. Let’s go before Jo kills me,” he responds, turning around.

Scooping the white gloves off the vanity, I scurry behind him. “Didn’t know Jo scared you,” I tease.

“She doesn’t. But if I cross her, she’ll have my job,” he says with his back facing me.

“And your freedom,” I add.

Michael suddenly stops, causing me to smack into his back. “Thanks for reminding me, Lib,” he growls lowly.

“Fucking hell, Mikey.” I groan out as I steady myself and he turns around to face me. “No warning?” I demand, raising my eyebrows in a what-the-fuck way. 

“No,” he challenges.

I lurch at Michael, stomping like a child. “Fuck you,” I fume.

Michael sidesteps out of my grasp and I curse myself for the stupid super-soldier training. “Not tonight, my lady. I have a headache,” he exaggerates with a hand over his forehead like a damsel in distress.

I roll my eyes in disgust. “I’m going to vomit,” I grumble.

Jo comes into the hall, putting her hand on the small of my back. “Please don’t. You were supposed to be downstairs,” she pauses to look at her wristwatch. “5 minutes. The girls are waiting for you to go in,” she says, gently pushing me forward.

My eyes widen and I brush past Michael, quickly bolting towards the stairs. “Shit, shit, shit, shit. Sorry, Jo!”

“Don’t run! You’ll sweat out your hair,” she shouts, running after me. Realizing she’s right, I slow my pace walking down the steps.

When we get to the first floor, the girls come into view. Each of them is dressed in beautiful pastel colors, but their accessories are all different. Damn, we’ll look good as a group.

“Showtime ladies,” Jo claps after we’ve exchanged pleasantries. Kendall hooks her arm onto Vanessa, who looks displeased by the physical touch.

Meredith follows suit, hooking her arm on the inside of mine with a warm smile. “I’m nervous,” I confess. This is the first presidential event I’ll be attending as The President’s daughter and it’s putting me on edge. On top of that, I have to think about my dating life.

Meredith squeezes my arm, reassuring me. “You’ll be fine. Just remember what we talked about. 3 minutes then come hang with us,” she instructs lowly.

When we turn the corner into the visitors foyer, I take a deep breath. Once we walk through those double doors, i’ll be debuted to the country. The cool February air shocks my system and I rapidly blink, trying to acclimated to the weather. It’s no bother however, because the flashing lights of the camera clicks are enough to blind me.

Meredith takes control, leading us over to the first photograph station. I pose and smile with the group, praying that seeing me on the front page tomorrow morning will brighten my mom’s day. “Can we get a solo picture please, Liberty?” I hear a paparazzi yell towards me.

Meredith and Kendall overhear the commotion of requests and I feel them both take a step back. Feeling anxious, I secure my hands around their waists, keeping them by my side. “I only listen to Jo,” I shout back, tilting my head towards my aide. 

I search the crowd for Michael, hoping to use him as an anchor just in case Jo approves the solo shots. My desperate eyes connect with his “Miss Jo. Can we please have a solo picture of Liberty?” I overhear a different photographer ask Jo.

“We’re doing friends and family shots only tonight, everyone,” Jo lets them down and I thank god for her understanding my introversion. 

We make our way through the rest of the photo ops, finishing with my family. Each of the girls in the group charm the pants off my parents, leaving them begging the group to return and breathe life into The White House. 

Once the next diplomat introduces themself to my mom, we take that as our dismissal cue, walking up the steps to the main entry. When I peer over my shoulder, I feel at ease seeing Michael just a few paces behind.

When we enter the state dining room, Jo bids me a goodbye for the rest of the night. I turn to take in the decorations, seeing the area covered with white and blue balloons and streamers. There are tables lining the walls, leaving the center of the room open with enough space to do cartwheels across the dance floor. The harsh overhead lights have been dimmed with string lighting filling the empty spaces on the ceiling. I make my way over to the bar area with the girls where huge glitter stars are hanging from the tall ceilings. 

The government really put tax money to good use with this one. 

Michael slightly spooks me when he comes up to lean on the bar next to me. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to him being around with his level of stealthiness. I open my mouth to compliment his tux when someone cuts in instead. “Hey Mere,” I hear a man's voice say behind me.

When I turn around a tall and rather attractive-looking white man is smirking at Meredith. Like I’m watching a ping pong match, my eyes dart back and forth between the two. As a girls girl, I need to know if Teddy and Meredith have any history so I can have her back. “Teddy,” she grits through her teeth and her tone has me deciphering that it’s taking a lot of energy for her to stay composed.

“Teddy and I went to school together,” she introduces us. I extend my hand for him to shake but she steps slightly in between us, leaning over until her lips are close to my ear. “Don’t shake his hand, he’s kinda creepy,” she whispers, grabbing something off the back of the bar behind me to disguise her warning.

I retract my hand, putting it down near my side. I look at Michael and attempt to telepathically communicate with him. Don’t let him touch me.

He nods and I tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear, trying to remember how to be appealing without making physical connections. “Theodore Arnault, a pleasure to meet you,” Theodore introduces himself.

I smile, waving slightly. “Likewise,” I mumble before he turns his attention to the bartender.

I furrow my brows at the girls. Maybe I should’ve studied who was going to be here. “Who did I just meet?” I question.

“His dad owns a bunch of shit, including the club we’ll be at tonight,” Kendall explains before picking up a glass of champagne from the bar.

“What type of club is it?” I ask, anxious to prepare myself for the social situation.

The corners of Vanessa’s mouth curve into a maniacal smile. “The private no phones kind,” she reveals.

“Hm,” I grunt before my darling sister comes to sweep me up to enjoy the hustle and bustle of the event.

3 more hours and I can finally have some fun.

I watch myself as I dance in the mirror of the pink bathroom in the private club. It’s around midnight now, and I’m only one drink in, waiting for Kendall to finish her business. I lean forward to look at myself more closely, and then pull out the lip gloss tube that I put in her purse, reapplying a shiny new coat. 

Kendall comes out of the stall, and then the water turns on next to me at the counter. I turn to find her scrubbing her hands furiously, grumbling to herself. “It’s gross in here and the floor is sticky. I hate clubs.”

She shudders and shakes her hands out over the sink before grabbing a paper towel to dry them off. “If you’re not having fun, we can leave and go back to my place.” I simplify, swinging the door open and going straight towards the bar. 

Michael sees us exit the toilet room, standing from his position next to the door. “Yes, because 3 drunk girls in The White House is a good idea,” she notes sarcastically. My head falls back with laughter and I join Michael with her in tow. She says that but I bet I can convince her to sleep over.

The club is extremely packed with music so loud that the only place we can hear each other is either right outside or inside the bathrooms. So that’s why when I make my way over and lean over the bar, I have to scream out, “Two margaritas,” to John. He’s been our favorite bartender all night, making every drink a double.

I stretch my hand out to him with my credit card in it but he gives the response of, “Your money’s no good here.” John shakes his head as if he’s sick of telling me that tonight, and turns around to make our drinks. 

So far the club music is good and the drinks are strong. John slides a tequila sunrise and a tequila sprite across the bar and I smile, silently thanking him while grabbing our drinks. I take a couple sips of mine as I hand Kendall her tequila sunrise, and move towards the middle of the dance floor towards Vanessa and Meredith. Michael walks around the edges of the room, giving us enough space to socialize but still keeping us safe.

I usher Kendall with me and when we make it to the center, I start swaying back and forth with the music, sipping my drink. Suddenly, a hand is on my waist, and my eyes go to Kendall who’s in front of me in question. She shakes her head, signaling it’s definitely not Michael. 

I turn around and to my surprise, there stands a beautifully chiseled man with brown eyes and dark brown hair. He bends down until his lips are close to my ear. “Hi,” he loudly greets to be heard over the music of the club.  

The rainbow lights flash on his face. He’s not Michael, but he’s definitely not ugly. Michael and I can’t even be together, so might as well flirt with a potential power player while I’m here.

“Hi,” I shout, standing on my tip toes so he can hear me.

He puts a hand on my waist, bending down again. “Wanna dance?”  

I take another sip of my drink and circle him until I’m facing his back. Tan skin, strong arms, and a muscular back. He lacks bicep muscles, unlike Michael, but he does have an ass for days. I continue walking in a circle around him until I’m standing in front of him again. My hand reaches forward to touch his chest, letting it trail down to his abs. “Yes,” I flirt, giving him a mischievous grin.

He smirks, and grabs my waist, spinning me around until my ass is against his crotch. His hands rub my body as we dance to the music together, and I take another sip of my drink before his lips meet my ear again. “You want me to hold that for you?” 

I’m clumsy as shit and I wouldn’t mind putting pause on this drink for a few songs. But I don't want to put it down on the bar. Seems like a good idea to me, I think, and pass my drink to him. “Yeah, sure.” 

We dance together for a few more songs before I spin around, taking a sip from my drink in his hands. When it’s empty, he bends down and shakes the cup to show me it’s empty. “I’m gonna toss this.” He smiles, then disappears into the crowd, my eyes on his ass until I can’t see it anymore. 

I turn around and look for my friends for the first time in 10 minutes. Meredith, Kendall, and Vanessa are still dancing together, unaware of the man I’ve been grinding on. Michael’s stare, however, is like a silent sniper. His eyes are consumed with anger and they’re cutting through the crowd of people that’s between me and where he’s sitting at the bar. Shit. This is definitely a conversation we shouldn’t be having inside the club. 

I turn towards the girls, tapping them both on the shoulder to signal I’m going outside for fresh air. They nod, going back to dancing before I feel my arm being grabbed. When I look up, my eyes meet Michaels. He wastes no time dragging me through the crowd of people and towards the entry. As soon as we make it to the front doors, I yank my arm out of his grasp.

That doesn’t deter him from squatting and tossing me smooth over his shoulder. “Put me down,” I howl, beating on his back. He ignores me and I watch the ground pass below me as he continues to walk.

When he finally stops and sets me down. I look around, trying to gain my bearings after being upside down when he forcefully grabs my face with his hand. If I snap back like I want to, I’ll fucking pass out from hitting my head on the brick. “You like it don’t you,” he spits in my face.

“Like what?” I shift on my legs, smirking at him. 

He loosens his grip on my face, trailing his touch down to my neck. I try to stay composed, but I’m sure he can feel my pulse beneath his fingertips. 

“The fact that I can’t have you. You taunt me every second of the day. You fucking know,” he speculates.

Truthfully, I didn’t. Thank god men are idiots. “Had an inkling but I wasn’t sure until now,” I disclose.

“Stop,” he orders, pressing his lips in a thin line.

I put my hands on his sides, gripping his black cotton shirt. “Stop what?” I egg him on.

“Stop dangling…” he starts to respond but I’m distracted when the world starts to feel dizzy. My breathing turns shallow and I try to process his words. I’m probably just drunk. 

I nod, locking my knees when my vision begins to slip and I become nauseous. My body sways and I feel strong arms cradling my body. 

And then, darkness.

Taglist: @cherrellek, next part

[ssa-montgomery]

Playlists

Hi there I make way too many playlists for shows I enjoy so I thought I'd share them here for all of you to hopefully enjoy too! I'm actively adding to a lot of them so they will be regularly updated :D

Grey's Anatomy

it's a beautiful day to save lives. - A general Grey's Anatomy playlist

nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life. - An Addison Montgomery playlist

I just want someone to need me as much as I need them because I'm always the one who loves more. - An Addison/Mark, Addison/Derek playlist set in the affair era in New York

what a plot twist you were. - An Addison/Meredith playlist

if you love someone, you tell them. - A Mark Sloan playlist

Criminal Minds

wheels up in 30. - A general Criminal Minds playlist

I know what the world can do to a girl who only sees beauty in it. - An Emily Prentiss playlist

sit down and shut up. - An Aaron Hotchner playlist

you, my fine furry friends, are welcome. - A Penelope Garcia playlist

this is calm, and it's doctor. - A Spencer Reid playlist

I am constantly surprised by the longing for you that never quiets. - A Jemily playlist

talk to me baby girl. - A Derek Morgan playlist

I never told you what I should have said. - A Hotchniss playlist

the unsub, or unknown subject. - An Unsub playlist

Supernatural

family don't end in blood. - A general Supernatural playlist

the very touch of you corrupts. - A Destiel playlist

driver picks the music. shotgun shuts his cakehole. - A Dean Winchester playlist

if you can't stand the heat, get out of hell. - A Rowena Macleod playlist

Hannibal

betrayal and forgiveness, are best seen as something akin to falling in love. - A Hannigram playlist

killing must feel good to god too, he does it all the time and are we not created in his image? - A Hannibal Lecter playlist

Arcane

it's been real, cupcake. - A Vi playlist

oil and water, wasn't meant to be. - A Piltovers Finest playlist

Detroit: Become Human

i'm the android sent by cyberlife. - A general Detroit: Become Human playlist

Resident Evil Village

rest while you can, because I will hunt you, and I will break you. - A Lady Dimitrescu playlist

Stranger Things

friends don't lie. - A general Stranger Things playlist

The Umbrella Academy

"get up, we're going." "where?" "to save the world." "oh is that all?" - A general The Umbrella Academy playlist

Lucifer

ain't no rest for the wicked. - A general Lucifer playlist

The Walking Dead

we are the walking dead. - A general Walking Dead playlist

damaged people are dangerous. they know how to survive. - A Daryl Dixon playlist

little pig, little pig, let me in. - A Negan playlist

I ain't nobody's bitch. - pov: getting railed by Daryl Dixon.

Once Upon A Time

the queen is dead, long live the evil queen. - An Evil Queen/Regina Mills playlist

Shadowhunters

for shadowhunters, the descent into hell is easy. - A general Shadowhuters playlist

Moods/Miscellaneous

am I a villain in your story? - A playlist to make you feel like the villain of the story

I feel like a side character watching my own story play out. - A playlist for when you feel like the side character

live like your the main character of the story. - A playlist for when you feel like the main character

girls like girls like boys do. - A playlist for the sapphic vibes

two souls don't find each other by simple accident. - A playlist for romantic/fluffy feelings

the worst possible yearning is missing the person who is standing next to you. - A playlist for the yearning

you are too young to feel like you're running out of time. - A playlist for when you're feeling angsty

they were utterly intoxicated by each other. - A playlist for smutty vibes

I want to break things. - A playlist for when you're feeling angry

it's a pirates life for me. - A playlist for pirate vibes

you say witch like it's a bad thing. - A playlist for witchy vibes

this is halloween. - A playlist for those spooky Halloween vibes

you'll never know how you broke my heart. - A playlist for when you've had your heartbroken

"they hate each other." "no they don't, not really." - A playlist for the Enemies to Lovers vibes

money, money, money must be funny in the rich man's world. - A playlist for being a rich mistress/mafia plotline

the ropes have been unbound, I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground. - A playlist of songs that make me feel like a feral animal

music is a window to the soul. - A playlist of songs that make me feel a little too seen

oh i'm sorry, did you forget I was better than you? - A playlist of songs that give me a god complex

somebody come get her, she's dancing like a stripper. - A playlist of songs that make me want to dance like a stripper

i'm not interested in being polite or heterosexual. - A playlist for Pride 2022

heavy is the head that wears the crown. - A dark royalty playlist

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you, take me back to the night we met. - A best friends to enemies to lovers trope playlist

though we don't share the same blood you're my brother and I love you that's the truth. - A found family trope playlist

distance means nothing when someone means everything. - A playlist for long-distance relationships.

you've just found religion, nothing more dangerous than that. - songs that describe love or sex as worship or devotion to a lover in the ways of religious undertones.

something in the orange tells me we're not done. - For when you meet the right person, at the wrong time.

"black sabbath, motörhead, metallica, it's the greatest hits of the mullet rock." - The best of dad rock over the years.

you don't think I know what you've done, but when you call me baby, I know i'm not the only one. - For when you'll never quite know the truth, but you know enough.

it's always have and never hold, you've begun to feel like home. - Songs that sound like they're about a break up but are really about losing your comfort show / comfort character.

[yusukesmomjeans]

Ok, so as a 90s kid, I have some headcanons on the music that Sal and co. listen to:

- Before Sal moved to Knockfell, he listed to radio alt primarily. Some grunge that got airplay, some angsty one hit wonders like Dustin Sheik, a lot of Green Day. If you look up a 90s alt playlist on Spotify, the ones that have all the songs everyone knew, that was what Sal listened to. Henry thought that music was too heavy and dark and depressing, and absolutely panicked when Sal started adding a ton of metal to the rotation. Henry is like weirdly into Jewel, so Sal knows her music and pretends he doesn't like it.

- Ash listens to everything, and I mean everything. It annoys the hell out of everyone else, because if she makes you a mixtape you're basically playing Russian roulette. Is the next track going to be Opeth or opera? Tonic or tonal dissonance? She definitely doesn't think any of the guys listen to enough women, and does her damnedest to broaden their horizons. She likes Skunk Anansie, Bikini Kill, Garbage, The Raincoats, Liz Phair, Meredith Brooks, and above all Courtney Love. She and Sal both love Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger, and sing it really loudly in the car, much to poor Larry's chagrin. (He secretly thinks it's cute and it makes him happy, but he has to put up a fuss because God, Harvey Danger? Really?)

- Todd likes Dream Theater entirely too much. He's also into math rock (stereotyping, sorry), particularly Ent. He also really enjoys a lot of radio alt like Sal. He doesn't have to like a song to memorize it, because his memory is excellent, so he generally chimes in on the Flagpole Sitta car jam just because he can and it's there. He knows a lot of older music because his parents like to put their dusty old records on and dance when they get high, which is why he adores David Bowie. Also unrelated but years down the road I can see Todd coding everyone's MySpaces and making them look incredible because he's the only one who actually knows how to code.

- Neil is a lot like Ash but he likes pretty much everything, which is a big difference that basically cuts out all the truly weird stuff and any country not written by Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton, or Reba McEntire. He really likes listening to things Maple recommends because it's really emotional and he's a sweet feelings baby.

- Sweet angel baby Chug loves anything heavy. For being such a scaredy cat, he really does like bands with terrifying cover art and vaguely scary looking musicians. Ash thinks this is hilarious, but doesn't say anything because she doesn't want to hurt Chug's feelings. His favorite band is Sepultura.

- Maple thinks liking the Cocteau Twins is a personality trait. She also really likes Gene Loves Jezebel. She has a venomous hate for NIN and complains loudly any time anyone even brings them up.

- I feel like a poseur even trying to take a stab at what Larry listens to. Definitely Master's Hammer, because Ritual is super atmospheric and still suitably heavy. And everybody likes Mayhem, right? But mostly Sanity's Fall. He knows his shit but sticks to what he likes, and prefers smaller bands and local bands, very "support your local scene and punch your local nazi."

[differenceenginegirl]

Everything seems a little dark and scary at the moment, so I have complied a list of links to cultural and/or educational things (and some just streams of cute animals, or just plain fun) that are available to watch or listen to or do for free (mostly) online. Some of these will only work for the duration of the current situation (marked with a *), but most are permanent (so far as I know) so can be kept around for a little bit of sunshine on a rainy day.

Feel free to add to this with your own links or ideas, and remember, we’ll get through this together (with the appropriate social distancing). Follow the advice that’s been given, wash your hands, and be kind to one another. 

The majority of links were brought to my attention by @theyahwehdance, @elleflies, and @buckysleftarm (plus a bit of a deep dive through my drafts). Under a cut because hoo boy it got long... 

(Some links in the linked lists may be broken, some may be region-locked, and some may be duplicated, I haven’t checked them all.)

Culture and Education!

The Metropolitan Opera, free nightly (19:30 EDT, 23:00 GMT) broadcasts of operas, available for 20 hours following the broadcast too. (Schedule for the first week)*

Berlin Philharmonic: 30 days free access to their virtual concert hall (redeem before 31st March 2020)*

Playbill have compiled a list of 15 professionally recorded musicals you can watch at home (Not all free) and are inviting people to join them in watching Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella Starring Lesley Ann Warren on 20th March at 20:00 ET! (video may be region locked) 

12 highlighted virtual museum tours and a whole load of others from around the world!

Science Twitter, a series of Skype with a Scientist virtual lectures! (A sign up with an email is required through the link in the tweet, running from 12:00-14:00 EST, (16:00-18:00 GMT)

30 virtual field trips! Links to virtual tours and live cameras of many different places! (Aimed at kids)

Animals!

Cincinnati Zoo Facebook Live virtual safaris, every weekday at 15:00 EDT (19:00 GMT)* Completed safaris will be posted to their website shortly after the Live finishes, and also kept on their Facebook.

Live Monterey Bay Aquarium Cams: 10 different cams showing various tanks and enclosures, and the bay itself!

Live San Diego Zoo Cams: 9 different cams showing various creatures in their habitats! 

Atlanta Zoo Panda Cam

Danish Sea Eagles Cam (this site in Danish, and may go dark, as the equipment is solar powered): A live feed of a Danish Sea Eagle nest!

Peregrines in Norwich and Bath!

Live Animal Cam, Ohio: A cam focused on a feeding station, with night vision so the feed continues even after the sun goes down! (This shows wild animals, so there is no guarantee that you’ll see creatures)

Shedd Aquarium let their penguins out to explore! (Under supervision) More exploration here! 

Two Oceans Aquarium did too, and look at these little cuties on the stairs!

A livestream of adoptable kitties!

And here’s a thread with some of these cams, and more!

Music!

Various people (started by cellist Yo-Yo Ma) playing/sharing music that comforts them on Twitter.

Virtual High School Musicals! (Original Thread) (Wider Hashtag) Many High School kids are now finding themselves unable to perform the musicals they’ve been working so hard on, so Laura Benanti invited them to video themselves performing and share it with her, so they still get to perform for an appreciative audience! (Some of these are absolutely stunning!)

Never before heard Hamilton track demo! 

A playlist of Quarantunes on Spotify, compiled by Rita Wilson (Tom Hanks’ wife)

A playlist of 101 Feel-Good songs on Spotify, compiled by @lanamlouise 

This guy made a really cool instrument out of PVC pipes!

A group of engineers in Stockholm turned a set of stairs into a piano to encourage people to use them rather than the escalator!

Stories!

Josh Gad reads a bedtime story (Olivia goes to Venice) with voices!

Various celebrities reading kids stories, as part of a charity initiative to keep kids fed during school shutdowns.

A bunch of free short stories, essays, audio and video by the wonderful author @neil-gaiman (Plus two photos of him in an ancient hat!)

Find your local indie bookstore and support them while also getting a new book! (US only)

And of course, you can’t leave out the marvelous Archive Of Our Own for fanfiction and fanworks for almost every fandom you can think of! (Remember to make use of the tags and filters to narrow your search or avoid things you don’t want to see/read!)

Food!

A recipe for Norwegian Christmas Butter Squares! (Apparently like sugar cookies, but in bar form and better)

A fudgy brownie-in-a-mug recipe!

A really nice chocolate pudding (in the British sense, so like a cake) with spiced chocolate sauce! (I love the whole cookbook that this is from, and it’s especially good for Discworld fans. Available from various sellers, I have linked my favourite money-sink, the Discworld Emporium: Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook)

My favourite biscuits (cookies) to make! Honey and cinnamon, with a picture book (Honey Biscuits by Meredith Hooper) that you can read alongside to explain to kids where all the ingredients came from!

Creativity and learning new things!

LUNCH DOODLES with Mo Willems! (13:00 ET weekdays, videos remain post-stream) Aimed mostly at kids, but don’t let that stop you doodling with the  Kennedy Center Education Artist-in-Residence!

A little list of doll makers/dress-up sites!

How to take really good photos of the night sky with a phone! (Please continue to observe social distancing rules while taking your pretty pictures)

Fancy making a language? Here’s a site with resources to help you get going with that!

A long list of sources of inspiration, arty websites, and some that are just fun!

Make your very own Peaches the Mouse by @my-darling-boy!

Want to learn 3D modelling? Fusion360 is free (for hobbyists and students) and professionally used, with a good network of tutorials and an, imo, fairly intuitive interface! (I use this a lot)

Want to play with Photoshop but don’t have the money? Here’s a free, in browser version! (Has ads, but they’re unobtrusive)

Want to try your hand at creating a sim? The Sims 4 Character Creator Demo is free! (Limited options, but still fun to play with)

Whether you play D&D or not, this is a really cool custom miniature creator, with loads of options that are being constantly added to updated! (And if you have the money, you can get it in a printable format, or printed for you in a variety of materials!)

Fancy learning something new? Memrise has a load of free courses, ranging from real languages like French or Spanish for beginners to fictional languages like Quenya (one of the Elven languages from LotR) or Klingon, or trivia bits like Harry Potter Spells or Noble Houses in Game of Thrones, and many more! (Available in multiple languages, although not all courses may be available in all languages)

Ever fancied trying to build armour or cosplay props from foam? R31 Studios has you covered with free PDF templates for all sorts of bits!

Meditation and Calm!

60 second meditation tool! Put a worry into a star, and watch it float away with a calming soundtrack and 

Meditation with Lizzo!

Customisable Rain Sounds!

Customisable Train Sounds!

And many more customisable noise generators!

Play with liquid/particles! (Warning: this one made me feel a bit motion-sick, but pretty!)

Interactive generative art!

Random bits I couldn’t catagorise!

Don’t want to dine alone? Have dinner with the Gaffigans!

A series of Mildly Interesting images from @catchymemes!

A group of stuntmen doing Super Mario!

Another list of Good Links (Really well organised!) by @secretladyspider! 

@thelatestkate draws wonderfully reassuring cartoons! (On Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook too!)

World Record Egg Instagram! Lots of nice little positive cartoons.

Happy news from The Happy Broadcast on Instagram, The Happy News, and HuffPost Good News!

Here’s an ongoing list of good stuff by @pftones3482! (Check the notes for more good stuff, and the latest addition)

Some feel-good browser games!

And finally, a little frog here to give you some reassurance!

[youdonknowaboutme]

Vulnerability is Chicken Soup for the Soul

I go to a class on anxiety and depression every Tuesday at a local church here in Nampa. Recently, we talked about the importance of vulnerability. My mind immediately went to the relationships within my inner circle. 2019 brought a lot of darkness in my life, but my friendships added consistency. I spent the whole year focusing on building deeper relationships with my friends and I found myself in the process. 

Roller Derby is a huge part of my life, as I dedicate 3 nights a week for practices. Some people are intrigued when I tell them, others get tired of me talking about it constantly, and some actually enjoy keeping tabs on my journey as a skater for the Beet City Bombers. 

I remember my very first scrimmage. There were a million things going on at once and I was the epitome of a deer in the headlights. The team was split into blacks and white. The only advice anyone could give me was to stay with my color and never be alone. Other than that, being thrown into the lion’s cage was the only way I ever learned. In derby, everyone learns the hard way. I remember standing on a lineup of blockers with this chick who just looked like she knew what she was doing. And here is me...scared shitless, but excited to take some real hits. I said, “Please, can you help me? I don’t know what I’m doing!” She just looked at me and said, “You don’t want to follow me. I’m a runner.” The whistle blew a few seconds later and she was nowhere to be found. This was the first time I ever met Slaybretooth Tiger. 

My second encounter with Tiger was at an after party, where she told me all about how she just moved here to be with the love of her life. I was surprised she was even talking to me because I thought she hated my guts. “I don’t hate you,” she said. “That’s just my face.” This was the first time we really connected. I always wanted to be friends with her but I couldn’t tell if she wanted to be my friend back. For all I knew, I could have just been another body on the track to her. 

January 2019 rolled around and she agreed to meet me for coffee. I had been bugging her for weeks and she kept canceling. I no longer take offense to this because I know now that this woman just really hates leaving the warmth of her own home. She finally met me at the Flying M and we were there for 3 hours talking about anything and everything. In that moment, I knew that she would end up being my best friend eventually.

After that day, we started messaging each other on the daily. We confided in each other by talking about our daily struggles. I definitely felt like I wasn’t alone. I wanted to ask her to be my derby wife (derby slang: BFF on the team). Tiger and I drove to a derby bout together and on the way home, we listened to her “biography” playlist. This woman had a song for every significant moment in her life from birth to present day in order! I also had a biography playlist of my own, so naturally...

Fuck it, I had to ask her.

She accepted, with the Goo Goo Dolls blasting in the background. 

We started putting on our makeup together on game days. Braiding her hair and listening to “My Favorite Murder” became our tradition. I surprise her with brownies and ice cream on her bad days. She makes sure I have coffee on the mornings we hang out. When I had an emotional breakdown at our away game in Jackson Hole, she allowed me to cry in her arms even though that’s not her thing. And you better believe that I did the same thing for her when she felt that way. 

Grey’s Anatomy fans everywhere know that famous line where Christina looks into Meredith’s eyes and says, “You’re my person.” It was such a powerful moment in television history because these two characters who had been through so much together were finally acknowledging that they were best friends. Tiger is my person and if it wasn’t for Roller Derby, I probably would have never even met her. The truth is, both of us were at a point in our lives where we just needed someone to say, “I’ve got you boo.” We are different in so many ways but I think that’s what makes our friendship so unique. We have just spent a lot of time trying to figure each other out.

We really do have a lot of things in common though:

- We both hate being cold more than anything

- We are definitely not morning people

- We could spend an entire day binge-watching The L Word and drinking wine

- We are satisfied by going to a bar just to watch people act like fools

- We equally agree that cookie dough is best with more dough and less chocolate chips

- We value beautiful lyrics, but love girl rap at the same time

- Alanis Morissette is our queen 

It’s kind of funny because when I told my parents that our team had to pick emergency buddies, my mom knew immediately who I chose. “She knows to call me in case of an emergency, right? We are friends on Facebook!” For the record...yes mom, she knows. 

The more I get to know Tiger, the more amazed I am with her strength. When I came to my team, I really admired her skating abilities and how much she took charge on the track. Inside her tough exterior is a woman who wears many hats. She’s my derby wife and best friend. She’s my former captain...Director of Training...Cancer survivor...and a mom. She conquers everything she does, even if she doesn’t always think so. 

When I decided to finally get counseling, I had to figure out exactly what I wanted out of it. She said, “Tell them that you want to love yourself as much as your best friend does.” I want the same for her, which is why I won’t stop my sappiness. Words of affirmation is my love language and she’s just going to have to deal with me telling her how great she is every day. 

I’m a vulnerable person and most people would call me an open book. I always used to think that being vulnerable was my biggest weakness, but recently I started to see that it’s actually my greatest strength. Being friends with someone who is opposite from me in that way was new for me. I remember constantly apologizing to Tiger because I felt like I was pushing her too much to open up to me. I remind myself that she doesn’t have to tell me anything, she chooses too. Every time she tells me something that’s hard to talk about, I’m thankful that she was able to share it with me. We probably wouldn’t be as close as we are now if we didn’t let each other in. 

To my best friend...if you are reading this,

Thank you for letting me into your world. You are the Karen to my Georgia. 

🍑🐯🍑🐯🍑🐯

[thethirdamell]

I'm this close to selling my soul for more AO, but I would settle for more music that inspired it. Pretty please. No pressure, tho.

This is definitely not all of it but I spent a couple hours trying to sort out my playlists so here’s … some. None of them are hyperlinked because. I don’t have anything neat because half is on YouTube, half is on Spotify and none of it is neatly organized. I just really hope the read more works. Make Ready.

Fan Playlists

Amell / OghrenAfterlife - Ingrid MichaelsonCups - Anna KendrickI Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab For CutieToast to Tomorrow - Blackmore’s NightFollow - Crystal FightsOne Last Drink - Enter the HaggisHeroes - AlessoOne Bourbon One Scotch One Beer - George Thorogood

Amell / Zevran (Amell’s Perspective)Ship To Wreck - Florence + The MachineDarkside - Alan WalkerAmellControl - HalseySticks and Stones - The PiercesIcarus - Bastille / Icarus - ChristonAll The King’s Horses - KarminaWhite Flag - Rose CousinsWarrior - Paradise FearsPlay With Fire - Sam TinneszBlack Magic - Digital DaggersShort Change Hero - The HeavyFar Too Young to Die - Panic! At the DiscoJokes About EyesEyes - Kaskade Look at Those Eyes - Alexz JohnsonOpen Your Eyes - Snow PatrolHawkeHey Brother - AviciiLuck - American AuthorsI’m So Sorry - Imagine DragonsGame - Smash MouthGuilty Filthy Soul - AwolnationRed Eyes - The War on DrugsAre You Ready - Distant CousinsWarrior - Paradise FearsSinners - Barns CourtneyFire - Barns CourtneyHome - American AuthorsChampion - Fall Out BoyLosing My Religion - R.E.M.Bartholomew - Silent ComedyBeliever - American AuthorsDavid - Noah GundersenAmen - HalestormSail Away Sweet Sister - QueenBusy Earning - JungleHero - Family of the YearThe Other Side - SireniaAndersLocking Up the Sun - Poets of the FallStill Frame - TraptRun Boy Run - WoodkidBattle Cry - Claire GuerresoAll on Fire - Cut OneMy Demons - StarsetBurn the House Down - AJRHopeless Opus - Imagine DragonsMelanie Martinez - SoapBe Okay - Ingrid Michaelson Whistle (While You Work It) - Katy Tiz Blackout - Breathe Carolina Make Them Hear You - NineFight Song - Rachel PlattenSentimental Scar - IrisJusticeGlitter and Gold - Barns CourtneyAnders / KarlNot Gonna Get Us - t.A.T.u.Yours Truly - Paradise FearsAnders / Amell (From Anders’ Perspective)Apple - Joe BrooksHold On - Chord OverstreetRun - Snow PatrolDreaming Wide Awake - Poets of the FallSay You’ll Haunt Me - Stone SourFlesh - Simon CurtisTrust You - Rob ThomasWorld Spins Madly On - The WeepiesCan’t Feel My Face - The WeekndDo I Wanna Know? - Artic MonkeysWon’t Let Go - InMeSay You’ll Haunt Me - Stone SourPlease Don’t Say You Love Me - Gabrielle AplinAnders / Amell (From Amell’s Perspective)Bad Romance - Jay SmithYellow - ColdplayYou Owe Me Nothing in Return - Alanis MorissetteFor Your Entertainment - Adam LambertCut Your Teeth - Kyla La GrangeDesire - Meg MyersAnders / Amell (Either Perspective / In General)Spectrum - ZedMagic - Mystery SkullsIrresistible - TemposharkBruises & Bitemarks - Good With Gernandes American Beauty / American Psycho - The Whole Album - Fallout BoySuper Psycho Love - Simon CurtisAnders / Hawke (From Anders’ Perspective)Sweet Nothing - Calvin HarrisHeavy In Your Arms - Florence + The MachineThe Peasant’s Promise - Blackmore’s NightBetween Wind and Water - HaelSave Me - GotyeWhen You Say Nothing At All - Ronan KeatingAddicted To You - AviciiAppetite - IrisRoses - Poets of the FallAnders / Hawke (From Hawke’s Perspective)Love You Madly - CakeHuman - Gabrielle AplinMy Obsession - Cinema BizarrePainkiller - Three Days GraceSpit It Out - IAMXDevil’s Backbone - The Civil WarsWith You - Dan Gautreau & Wolfgang BlackOn Your Side - Gabe DixonLast of the Real Ones - Fall Out BoyLift - Poets of the FallAnders / Hawke  (Either Perspective)How Do You Feel Today - Gabrielle AplinBattleships - DaughtryA Lot Like Love - The VoyagersIris - Goo Goo DollsHow Deep Is Your Love - Calvin Harrris Beautiful Now - ZeddAnders / Justice (In General)Phantom & Justice - Old Man CanyonI Will Possess Your Heart - Death Cab For Cutie War - Poets of the FallDark Doo Wop - MS MRJekyll and Hyde - Jonathan Thulin, Rapture RuckusHearts a Mess - GotyeKryptonite - 3 Doors DownTrip the Darkness - Lacuna CoilSuit - Boom! Bap! Pow! Sad Song - We the KingsEverlong - Foo FightersThree Wishes - The PiercesEmpire - Of Monsters and MenForever and Ever - Royal WoodBattle Scars - Paradise FearsRenegades - X AmbassadorsThe Wardens - AwakeningHeaven Knows - The Pretty RecklessThis Is Gonna Hurt - Sixx: A.M.DOA - Foo FightersWicked Ones - DorothyCitizen / Soldier - 3 Doors DownThe Other Side - PendulumCompassion / Anders (From Compassion’s Perspective)Count on Me - Bruno MarsVelanna / Nathaniel Sarcasm - Get ScaredObsessed - BoAFire and the Flood - Vance JoyOghrenProblematic - Get ScaredSigrunAlone Together - Fall Out BoyQuentinBones - MS MRMeredith / LeonieYou Should See Me in a Crown - Billie EilishKingdom Fall - Claire WyndhamLead on Losing Control - Corb Lund

[alliveverknowns]

In a generation where there is a constant obsession with using the word “flex” and “goals” in social media to refer to their “jowa” (boyfriend/girlfriend), many of us have been uttering the phrase “sana all” non-stop. When I say “many of us”, I am including myself. As an 18-year-old who is surrounded with people the same age as I am, I’m one of those typical girl who wishes to have a “jowa”, maybe because I want fun, or I just want to be like everyone else, or maybe, I want to be loved. The problem is, when “love” (Yes, I am adding a quotation mark, don’t ask why.) meets you halfway and comes unexpectedly, we tend to run away. Sorry, I run away. I have known (Weh?) what it’s like to be in love probably my whole life. As a self-proclaimed bookworm who has an affinity for books and binge watching TV series with its cheesy long overdue speeches, I’d like to think I am an expert at that department. I can advise my friends whenever they’re being stupid in their relationships, (Coaches don’t play, right?) but, oh boy, I was wrong. Love, relationships, and dating in real life are all nothing from what I have seen in movies and read from books. No, you will not find someone like Patrick from Silverlinings Playbook who will kiss you under the freezing cold and whisper, “I think I need you too,” nor will you find yourself a Derek Shepherd (who was a fucking asshole, at least for me.) who will stage an impromptu post it wedding for you and will vow to you that even if you get Alzheimer’s, he will remind you who he is every single day. Guys like Patrick Verona don’t walk in our high school fields, and no guy like him will ever try to hack the school’s sound system and try to serenade you with “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You”, and worst! The worst part is that I doubt that there are guys like Michael Cordero Jr., someone who will make you an apology playlist when he fucks things up and give you an eskimo kiss. He won’t whisper a sappy “Wherever you are is home to me.” in your ear as you search for your future home, and he certainly won’t kiss you while fake snow bursts out and Natalie Taylor’s “Surrender” is playing in the background. Here’s the thing, when you grow up with books and movies surrounding you, you quite have an unrealistic point of view on what relationships are. I am guilty of this, I’m not gonna lie. As a girl who daydreams a lot of finding the “perfect guy” (who probably looks like Harry Styles, or even Niall Horan), even at 18, I have given up on this quest because there’s no such thing. Maybe when pigs fly I would find that “perfect guy”. Out of all my favorite female characters, I would like to think I am the perfect mix of Meredith Grey and Amelia Shepherd. I am not a doctor, nor do I have ambitions of being one, but this I know; these two women, when shown affection, they run away. So do I. It’s funny because I am someone who has spent her entire childhood and 2013 teenage phase obsessing about love, but 7 years later, almost an adult, I still do not know how to properly accept affection that does not come from my family and friends. Yup, I listen to Taylor Swift’s Lover almost everyday, and I’d get thoughts such as “Ang sarap siguro mag mahal.” (It must feel great to love someone.) but I’d laugh on the inside, and say “Eh diba, takot ka.” (You’re scared, right?) I laugh on the inside because I know what you’re thinking, “Takot ka siguro mag commit!” (You’re afraid to commit yourself in a relationship). I laugh even harder, because at this age, at this time of my life, do I really need to commit myself to someone? I would be a big liar if I haven’t had moments where I am “jowang-jowa”, but is it really needed right now? As a person who watched too much romantic-comedies and read a lot of YA books, you would say that I have unrealistic expectations on what relationships should be, but if there’s one thing I truly know about what it is amidst all the long, gawky, and sappy declarations of love and non-stop fluff; it’s that everything comes at the right time when you are really, really ready. As I mentioned earlier, I am still someone who is scared and doesn’t know how to handle affection (still), but these walls will come back down when the right person (CHEESY!) and time comes. And you know what? I’m perfectly okay with that.

[beautifulnightmarepost]

A Powerful Playlist

1. Respect - Aretha Franklin (Song details)

Released: April 29, 1967 Genre:

Songwriter(s): Otis Redding

Producer(s): Jerry Wexler

For me, the song "Respect" has always been one of the first songs that comes to mind when I think of Women's empowerment. Even though I have heard the song before, listening to this song takes me back to my marching band days. Researching this song promoted motived me to learn the lyrics.

"A little respect oh yeah (just a little bit)

A little respect (just a little bit)

I get tired (just a little bit) Keep on tryin' (just a little bit)

You're runnin' out of fools (just a little bit)

And I ain't lyin' (just a little bit)"

While the song wasn't originally written by Aretha, she truly made it her own by adding a few details. It is worth noting that Aretha was the first one to add the iconic “R-E-S-P-E-C-T" hook line. Thus she, and her creative team helped to make this a woman's empowerment anthem.

Aside from the amazing lyrics, there is just something so cool about the tempo and arrangement of this song. The intro is so upbeat and fun I cannot help but start to dance.

2. “Miss Independent” – Kelly Clarkson

Released: April 10, 2003

Songwriter(s):  Rhett Lawrence, Kelly Clarkson, Christina Aguilera, Matt Morris

Producer(s): Rhett Lawrence

The song “Miss Independent” is another that comes to mind when I personally think about the woman’s empowerment movement. Kelly Clarkson combines creative vocals and thoughtful lyrics to really drive the point home. It is also interesting to note that other artists had turned this song down before it arrived to Clarkson. It would turn out to be her first attempt at writing a song with a group and, after her American Idol Win, it really made her as a star. The lyrics:

“So, by changing her

Misconceptions, she went in a new direction

And found inside she felt a connection”

really drive home the meaning. In short, a catching driving pop tempo and creative lyrics are the reason this song made my list.

3. “Independent Women (Part 1),” – Destiny’s Child

Released:  September 14, 2000

Songwriter(s):  Tone, Poke, Cory Rooney & Beyoncé

Producer(s): Beyoncé, Cory Rooney & Trackmasters

Desitny's child has many inspiring songs about empowerment. I could list, at least five songs that I could have used for my play list! Nonetheless, “Independent Women” is my favorite of their catalog and that is why I picked it for my list. The overall song has creative lyrics and a fun catchy beat. I can still really dance along to this song as a teen. Even as an adult, I still find the words fun and inspiring. This song drives home the idea that woman can provide for themselves. Fun fact, this song spent 11 weeks (about 2 and a half months) at number one on the Hot 100, becoming the group’s longest running number one.

“Try to control me, boy, you get dismissed Pay my own car note and I pay my own bills Always fifty-fifty in relationships”

The above lyrics drive home two important points, equality in the woman’s movement while still maintaining some independence”

4. “None of Your Business" by Salt-N-Pepa

Released: October 1, 1993

Songwriter(s):  Herby “Luvbug” Azor

Producer(s): Herby “Luvbug” Azor

Salt’ Peppa are another amazing female trio. They also have a catalog filled with impowering songs. While it was hard to pick just one, “None of Your Business” will always be one of my favorites. I remember when this song first came out. Yet the lyrics have a different feel now that I am an adult. “None of Your Business,” creative lyrics drive home a this fits right in with the overall theme for woman’s empowerment. This mix of rap and rock make this one of my favorites, because it crosses genres with its creation.

“So the moral of this story is: Who are you to judge?

There's only one true judge, and that's God

So chill, and let my Father do His job”

These words have still stuck with me to this day.

5. “Hard Out Here,” -- Lilly Allen

Released: November 17, 2013

Songwriter(s):  Greg Kurstin & Lily Allen

Producer(s): Greg Kurstin

Lilly Allen has a catalog of fun quirky yet meaningful songs. I cannot recall exactly where I was when I first heard about this amazing artist... but I remember being instantly hooked. Whenever I am having a rough day, her songs were always one of my go-too. So, needless to say, “Hard Out here” will always be one of my favorite songs by Lilly. This song is a mix of creative lyrics with the artists own brand of fun and quirky sarcasm. Thes lyrics are one of the main reasons why I picked this song for my list:7. “We Run This,” Missy Elliott

Released: February 21, 2006

Songwriter(s):  Rhemario “Rio Beats” Webber, Jerry Lordan & Missy Elliott

Producer(s): Rhemario “Rio Beats” Webber

Miss Elliot is another amazing female artist who has a lot of songs that fall under the theme over Woman’s empowerment. I picked the song “We Run This” because I thought it would best fit the overall flow of my playlist. This song mixes Electronic with hip hop genre of music. It has an upbeat tempo, making it one of those great songs with a fun “vibe.” Even though this song has some explicit lyrics, like the Liliya Allen song listed above, it also makes a point with those lyrics:

“You don't want beef, don't take it that far with a superstar I got my foot on the clutch, see me bounce my butt Misdemeanor too much and I don't give a fuck”

The lyrics shout “I am large and in charge,” and would make a good empowerment anthem.

“There's a glass ceiling to break, uh-huh There's money to make And now it's time to speed it up 'Cause I can't move at this pace"

The goal to break the glass ceiling is an ongoing one for the woman’s empowerment movement. It is nice that this song gives a slight nod to that ongoing struggle. Not to mention, the music video takes a few sharp jabs at entertainment industry. The overall tempo and music arrangement also makes this song memorable.

6. “Bitch” Meredith Brooks

Released: May 20, 1997

Songwriter(s):  Meredith Brooks & Shelly Peiken

Producer(s): Geza X

This song, by name will always come to mind when I think of Woman’s empowerment. Sure, the title might throw some people who are a little more sensitive. In my option its song’s main title is not used in a derogatory fashion. In my option, it feels empowering to call out the main part of the hook. I remember when it first came out... the lyrics struct me as very empowering, even at an early age. It was just fun to call out the tittle (much to the chagrin of my mother). "Bitch" starts off with a slow tempo and seems a bit unassuming, "innocent and sweet". Until the song changes up as the tempo song. Each time I hear this song I cannot help but song. The lyrics are fun yet gives you a something to think about:

“When you hurt, when you suffer I'm your angel undercover I've been numb, I'm revived Can't say I am not alive You know I wouldn't want it any other way”

8. “I'm Every Woman” Whitney Huston

Released: November 17, 1992

Songwriter(s):  Nickolas Ashford & Valerie Simpson

Producer(s): Narada Michael Walden

Whitney Huston will always be one of those amazing female artists. I can still recall when I first heard this song on the radio. As a young girl, it made me feel uplifted, as if I could grow up to be anything. That, hopefully, when I became a woman, that I would be able to go on to do remarkable things. Now, that I am older, I can full appreciate the importance of this song. As with some of the pervious songs, "I am Every Woman" has a good pace tempo. It is one of those fun, yet empowering songs, that gets people up and dancing. Hopefully, this powerful message will continue to be passed down to younger generations, and the singer's legacy will never be forgotten.

“Whatever you want

Whatever you need

Anything you want done baby

I do it naturally

Cause I'm every woman (Every woman)"

9. “Sisters Are Doin’ It for Themselves,” Eurythmics feat. Aretha Franklin

Released:  October 1, 1985

Songwriter(s):  David A. Stewart & Annie Lennox

Producer(s): David A. Stewart

While there are many modern songs for woman’s empowerment, I wanted to add this older tune to provide a better mix.  “Sisters Are Doin’ It for Themselves,” is one of those classic songs that drives the point. These lyrics drive home the theme:

“There was a time When they used to say That behind every great man There had to be a great woman But in these times of change You know that it is no longer true So [,] we're coming out of the kitchen”

Like the other songs in my list, this one has a very upbeat tempo to match the lyrics. It is a very 80's song, but that is not a terrible thing! The arrangement is creative with that fun driving beat that brings out the amazing vocals of Eurythmics and Franklin. The music video also pokes fun of some of those old outdated ideas that once kept women back. Going back to the main theme, this song is about woman moving on to stand proud.

10. Karisome Otome - “Temporary Virgin” by Shiina Ringo

椎名林檎×斎藤ネコ「カリソメ乙女」の歌詞

Released: November 11, 2006

Songwriter(s):  Ringo Sheena, Soil & "Pimp" Sessions

Producer(s): Uni Inoue

I wanted to wrap this playlist with something a little different, but it keeps with the overall pop theme. I discovered this artist by happy accident while researching another topic. Shiina Ringo is an amazing vocal who has written most of her own songs. The fast tempo pairs nicely with Ringo’s voice. “Karisome Otome” is a song with an amazing mix of gernes. The tune starts of soft and sweet, much like Meredith Brooks’s “Bitch.” While the theme of her songs varies, I picked this one because it pokes a little fun at the role women take when it comes to flirting and such. Here is the English translation of the entire song:

I'm just like the women Who stand next to you and stare Sweet intoxication But I'm leaving this affair You lit up my daydreams Like so many other guys Don't you look so lonely There's no sorrow in goodbye

What women want are some simple pleasures To be special We don't need you forever But I fell for your trap Girls will fall like that I was floating on a breeze What you must be feeling It was too late yesterday Despite your deceiving It was me who had my way But women always attempt to tell lies And to disguise, conceal what we want So when I try to deceive won't you believe Or say that you forgive me

In my option the song pokes some light hearted fun at the stereotype that women need men in a long-term sense. There are serval versions of this song, even one in English. Yet, like many of the songs, I wanted to mix things up by adding an artist that might be new to some of my readers.

Thanks for reading my list! Please check out the playlist, on YouTube. Drop me a line if you know any other great songs! I am open and love listening to different genres of music.

Sources:

http://albumlinernotes.com/Liner_Note_Samples.html

https://parade.com/961387/jessicasager/girl-power-songs/

https://www.songfacts.com/facts/aretha-franklin/respect

https://popculture.com/music/news/aretha-franklin-respect-hidden-history-makes-it-more-powerful/

https://kellyclarkson.fandom.com/wiki/Miss_Independent

https://www.songfacts.com/facts/kelly-clarkson/miss-independent

https://genius.com/Destinys-child-independent-women-part-1-lyrics

https://genius.com/Salt-n-pepa-none-of-your-business-lyrics

https://genius.com/Lily-allen-hard-out-here-lyrics

https://genius.com/Meredith-brooks-bitch-lyrics

https://genius.com/Missy-elliott-we-run-this-lyrics

https://genius.com/Whitney-houston-im-every-woman-lyrics

https://genius.com/Saygrace-you-dont-own-me-lyrics

https://genius.com/Eurythmics-sisters-are-doin-it-for-themselves-lyrics

https://genius.com/Sheena-ringo-saito-neko-karisome-otome-temporary-virgin-lyrics

[ezatluba]

Stressed pets: How to stop it now and when you go back to work

By Sandee LaMotte

April 25, 2020

Pets offer the opportunity for different generations to connect, easing the way toward deeper communications, fostering healthy bonding and reducing loneliness.

Happy dogs chasing balls on their fourth walk of the day. Purring puffs of fluff who can't wait to snuggle with pet parents miraculously home all day. These are the images we may have of sheltering with our pets during the age of coronavirus.

For some pets, that may well be true. For others used to more regular routines and serious alone time, the sudden reality of 24/7 intimacy could be nerve-racking, even catastrophic, especially if there are small children in the home."It can be overwhelming for pets when kids are home all the time, especially infants and toddlers. which is why they should never be left alone with the pet, not even for 30 seconds," said Dr. John Howe, the president of the American Veterinary Medical Association.

"Even the nicest dog in the world can bite. In fact there are 4.5 million dog bites a year in America, and over 800,000 of them need medical attention," Howe said. "Over half the bites are to children, and it's usually a serious injury when it happens to a child."Dogs and cats really need a safe place where they feel comfortable, where they can go and not be bothered," he said, "especially if there's children in the house."We transfer our stress, tooTo make matters worse, many of us humans are incredibly stressed right now. We're worried about our health and that of our loved ones during the pandemic. We're working long hours from home or fretting over the loss of a job. We're going stir crazy from social isolation or tense from being with the same people without a break.

While we may think we're handling all that well, our pets will recognize our tension and anxiety -- and may make it their own."You might think you're internalizing everything, but what we know from studies on both humans and animals is that we are not. There's physical manifestations that are probably even more obvious to our dogs and cats than ourselves," said Dr. Dana Varble, the chief veterinary officer for the North American Veterinary Community."Their emotions can be a reflection of ours because they are so tightly bonded with us," said veterinarian Dr. Meredith Montgomery, a clinical assistant professor of shelter medicine at the University of Florida.Montgomery, who specializes in decreasing stress for shelter dogs and cats, has seen it firsthand while isolating with four medically rescued cats and a dog.

Her cats have not reacted well to the constant din and boundless energy of her two-year-old toddler, who's now home instead of at day care most of the day."None of my cats particularly enjoy each other. So what's been very important for us in keeping a peaceful household is that they all have their own space within the home," Montgomery said. She's done that by using baby gates to provide some respite and encourages "vertical space within the home and giving each cat access to established areas, like boxes, where they can hide."How to tell if your pet is stressedRealize that there aren't specific signs that will apply to every dog or cat, experts said."Just like us, every dog or cat is an individual," Montgomery said. "So not only are different things going to stress them, but they also might have different and unique thresholds for stress."

Stressed dogs can startle, jumping at the slightest sound or movement. Some shake and shiver, vocalize excessively or drool. They can use self-calming techniques, such as yawning, lip licking, excessive grooming or spinning. Oddly, tense and upset dogs can also look depressed, showing a lack of appetite or energy. At times they can get diarrhea or urinate or defecate more often. And, of course, dogs can become uncharacteristically aggressive, snapping or growling. Cats, on the other hand, are more difficult to read, said experts. You have to look for more subtle signs, such as overgrooming, increased vocalization, lack of appetite, hiding or acting standoffish and, of course, suddenly ignoring their litter box.

"Cats will usually give you some little hint and if you ignore it, that's when they start to poop on the bed, pee on the couch, go outside the litter box," Howe said. While you should always check with your vet to make sure there's no urinary infection, stress itself can cause significant problems, he said."In fact, sometimes cats get a hemorrhagic cystitis where they start peeing blood, and it's just from stress, not from infection," Howe said.Help your dog and cat calm downIt's all about routine. For both species, the main solution is to stick to a regular regimen, just as you would do with a young child, experts said."They love to have the same routine," Howe said. "Getting up at the same time, eating at the same time, playing at the same time. That's the key."Use pet gates and crates. If a dog is crate trained, it can be very soothing for them to go back to their own special place, Howe said."They're safe, they're comfortable, and it's an opportunity for them to practice independence in their own space," he said. The use of baby and pet gates or barriers can also help keep pets and children separated, he added."Gates are so good to have while you're doing something like cooking, when you can't give the kids or dog direct supervision," Howe said.Play species-specific music. It's actually true that music does soothe the savage soul.

"Something that I use in the shelters and high-volume spay-neuter facilities that I've worked in is playing music," Montgomery said. "I have used slow-paced classical music at a low volume for 'quiet hour' with shelter dogs." She said that allows them time for decompression with a food puzzle or "treat-filled Kong, providing a healthy, appropriate chewing outlet."There are even species-specific tunes. A study published in 2015 found that cats preferred such feline-favorite sounds such as chirping, purring and the sucking sound of nursing kittens, mixed in with some classical music strains. You and your cat can listen here, while Spotify and other websites provide playlists for dogs.Keep grooming and playing. Dogs need regular exercise and playtime with their owners, experts said. If you're suddenly sitting on your couch all day instead, you'll soon see the signs of distress in your pet.

Cats, too, need daily play that mimics what they would do in the wild. Playing with toys such as feather spinners and puzzles that contain treats can energize cats and keep them happy. "Play with them, stimulate their hunting instincts, then feed them," Howe suggested. After all, big cats in the wild rest after a good hunt and a full tummy.Hopefully, grooming is part of your regular routine as good health care for your dog or cat. When it comes to calming, if your cat likes to be brushed, that's often a winner. "Grooming is very soothing to most cats," Howe said.Check your litter box etiquette. Most cat owners already know they need to keep the litter boxes sparkling clean by scooping often. Cat are also very sensitive to the type of litter (most like sandy or clay-based) and scent (they prefer no scent). The litter box should be big enough for the cat to turn around in -- bigger is better -- and there should be a litter box on every level of your home. And if you have multiple cats?

"If you have two cats, you have three litter boxes spaced throughout the house, if you have three cats, add another," Montgomery said. The rule is to always have one more litter box than the total number of cats in the home. It's also a good idea not to have a covering on a litter box, especially in multi-cat households, as cats feel most vulnerable while urinating or defecating, experts said.Use positive, not negative reinforcement. Having a dog rip up clothing or paper or your cat starting to scratch the couch or either species offering a sudden "gift" of pee or poop may seem like a personal affront, but experts said you should never take it personally."Dogs, and potentially cats, may be experiencing severe anxiety, which results in these fear-based or anxiety-based behaviors," Montgomery said. "But it's not some form of retribution against the owners. It's because they're experiencing a really heightened emotional state."

Positive reinforcement, such as providing treats when the cat does go in the litter box or the dog poops outside, is the best way to solve behavior problems, experts said. "Unfortunately one of the harder things to do is to ignore bad behavior," Varble said. "But say your dog is bugging you, constantly nudging you. If they give up and they go away to their bed, it's really important at that moment to go over to your dog and say, 'Oh, good dog sitting on your bed. Do the petting there, reinforce that."Keep trying. If problems continue, veterinarians want you to reach out, as they are quite used to helping owners with such behaviors. Vets may suggest pheromone diffusers -- made for both dogs and cats -- that you can put in the home to promote relaxation and calm nerves. Your vet may prescribe additional anxiety medications, or your vet may suggest a consultation with a behavioral specialist."The American College of Veterinary Behaviorists, ACVB, has a great website to find a veterinary behavioral expert that can do a consult with you," Varble said. "And some of those behaviorists are already set up to do via the phone or video." Getting your pet ready for your return to workAgain, routine is king. "Try and maintain some sort of typical work schedule as best you can right now," said Varble. "The more that we stick to typical work schedule and routine, the better our pets are going to adapt when we go back to work."

That includes feeding, exercising, playing and grooming at about the same times each day, experts said. But if you've fallen off schedule while sheltering (and who hasn't), don't fret."If you know you're going to go back to work in 10 days or so, start getting yourself and your animal on a more typical schedule," Montgomery said. "Focus on doing things that you have been doing, like taking them for a short walk, and make sure you're still fitting in those activities after your return to work."Consider crate training: If you haven't taught your dog how to stay in a crate, that might be a good choice now, experts said. "Now while you're still home, get your dog used to being in the crate," Howe said. "You can still walk by and talk to your dog, but getting them used to the crate if you can't leave them loose is very important."Keep up the playtime. Just because you're not there in the house all day doesn't mean you can't have "quality time" with your pet, experts said."What may this look like? Ten to 30 minutes of play with a favorite wand toy, special brushing session (if liked by your pet), a walk with your leashed dog, or time spent with a favorite toy playing fetch or tug-of-war," Montgomery said, adding that her older dog enjoys "getting one-on-one time for ear scratches with her favorite person."

As for pets with high energy, finding them an appropriate outlet can be important, she said."Daytime, individual dog-walking services may be beneficial as people return to nonessential services," Montgomery said. "Providing food-filled Kongs or feeding toys and puzzles for cats and dogs can also be a way to keep their minds happy and engaged while we are away at work."

Reach out to your vet. Veterinarians want pet owners to reach out for help, both during coronavirus and after."We have a lot of information for the pet-owning public created by veterinarians on our website and they can also find Covid-19-specific information as well," Howe said.

[devilsknotrp]

Congratulations, Meredith! You have been accepted for the role of Ariadne Guzman (FC: Odette Annable). Ariadne is an interestingly positioned character. She could easily be written as a passive love interest for Mike... or as an active member of the police force. Your application made it clear where she stood: and it’s on her own two feet. You said it so well in that she is firm in her convictions and who she is. Ariadne is clumsy and well-meaning and entirely endearing, and that came across so well in your application. You have an ear for her character and it was a true delight to read your interpretation of her. Thank you for such a great application! Please have a look at this page prior to sending in your account.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name: Meredith Age: 18 Pronouns: They/them Timezone: EST Activity estimation: In the summertime (so, now!) I am extremely active, posting probably every other day, though I will make an attempt for every day. I’m starting college in the fall, so that adjustment might put a bit of a damper on that, but I’ll maintain posting as often as I can. I have no issue staggering posts out so I’m still on the dash, even if I prefer to post all my replies at the same time. Triggers: REDACTED

IN CHARACTER: BASICS

Full name: Ariadne Rose Guzman Age (DD/MM/YYY): 11/24/1967. Sagittarius sun, Leo moon. Gender: Cisgender Female Pronouns: She/her Sexuality: Bisexual Occupation: Police Officer Connection to Victim: Blurry television screens and terrifying accusations only bring back memories of the horrors of ‘84 — and that’s what primarily fuels her determination to bring Brian home. Simply imagining all the horrors that happened, but instead to a little boy is enough to make her stomach turn. Ariadne knows Linda vaguely from church, mostly from chatting the other woman’s ear off after presenting a particularly shitty cherry pie at a church potluck. Alibi: Ariadne was on the job when Brian went missing. It made things more horrifying and more real, but she’s grateful that it’s solid. She knows what kind of paranoia small towns cook up after trauma like this. Faceclaim: Odette Annable, Shay Mitchell, and then the original face claim of Natalee Linez.

WRITING SAMPLE

Shit. Fuck. Shit. Shit, fuck. She’s halfway through the train of expletives, mind moving erratically — like a wonky washing machine in a seedy laundromat, thunk thunk thunking against her skull, or television static after a particularly nasty rainstorm knocks out the cable — when she remembers why exactly her alarm clock is losing it’s shit at such an early hour. Church. Well, perhaps early isn’t the best word for the situation, even considering the time at which Sunday service began was still in the single digits. Not early; Ariadne is indisputably late. She knows it well the whirs and chirps and blaring of the three clocks she has stationed around her room all reminding her oh-so-sweetly. She’s always been a heavy sleeper, especially with the sheer amount of glass bottles that line her recycling bins. Sam Adams, Pete’s Wicked Ale, Coors. It’s something reminiscent of a baby cooing and falling asleep with drool trailed across plump cheeks, after his bottle, the way she curls up under the blankets in the fetal position after three or four or five ( it’s not five often, she’d swear on it ) of her favorite brew. There’s even a raggedy looking plush dog, with worn patches in his fur and an eye gone rogue somewhere between toddlerdom and childhood, that she keeps in the corner of her room. Too grown to sleep with it, too nostalgic to tuck it — even if him is the pronoun the mind conjures, one can hardly forget all the details of childhood stuffed animal lore — away somewhere far from here. It gets lonely in her apartment. But she’d headed to church, not Sunday school, damnit, and she’s going to act like it.

Speedily, hopefully, and though she rams her funny bone against the headboard as she makes a spastic attempt to slam the first alarm button as she yanks off pajama pants. She hops on one leg, half to mitigate the pain, or at least let herself think she’s doing so. Hobbling now, to the second —— aaand, the other half of her reasoning is left in a crumpled lump on the floor. I’ll pick them up later, she thinks, as she hunts for dress pants. A skirt, maybe. Should she wear a skirt? Fuck, does she need to shower? She yanks long brown locks in front of her face for a moment, inhaling deeply. Still smells like mango, her arm through it still smells like Dove soap and dollar store shampoo. No one could say she wasn’t distinct.

Third alarm is slammed off, and sweet, sweet silence fills the apartment once more. Other than the clank of pipes, of course, and she shakes away thoughts of ghost stories she tells herself when she wants to be too terrified to sleep. Criminals, she could deal with, but Casper the Ghost was pushing it. Skirt, skirt, skirt … “ Make an effort to look nice, Ariadne. ” Words are mumbled, and it takes a moment for brain to measure up with scattered thoughts and realise she’s talking aloud to herself. Great. Something fluttery and pale blue that ends at her knees is snatched off a hanger that looks terribly lonely in her closet, and she feels like a school girl as white blouse is added and respectively tucked in as neatly as she can muster. There’s no time for makeup – thankfully, she absolutely despises wearing it — or doing her hair, which she doesn’t mind so much. Hopefully not a rat’s nest. A single yank of the string dangling from crooked blinds, and she sees that the sky matches the cardigan she yanks on in hue. Dress shoes are pulled on, and she knows she’ll get a blister along with the dirty looks from a church elder or two for legs not clad in pantyhoes. Keys, keys, keys — deodorant, a swipe under each arm — keys, keys, keys.

She’s out the door now, and never more has she wished to feel sunshine on her skin. But, she only only gets overcast, and in spite of it, she skips two steps at a time down the back of the building. Cramped in spite of beautiful hardwood floors and a relatively spacious kitchen — relatively being she could turn around in it and not smack her ass against a hot stove, the apartment doesn’t really feel like home. Not yet anyway. Home. That’s a concept, that, to Ariadne at least, exists somewhere in the mythical sphere between familiar and intangibly distant. The way she’d grown up, at least, of dress collars stiffened with cornstarch and staring out bedroom window at the blinking of city lights in the distance, wishing she was doing something — that didn’t quite feel like home either. She loved her parents, she did, is how she would explain it when offering too much information, but in the same way a zookeeper might like an elephant before it sits on their chest and suffocates them to death. Time spent in Devil’s Knot still felt like a vacation. A novelty, really, some shitty tchotchke that ended up breaking the moment you vaguely manhandled it. But the illusion of small town community hadn’t shattered yet, not under hands delicate even through callouses. Nothing could, only time itself wearing down the sheen. But for now, things were bright and real and good, crisp September air shirking off summer humidity on that Sunday morning. There was a buzz of possibility — or maybe it was just anxiety at the thought of bursting through church doors too late to not interrupt the hymns.

Maybe that buzzing was what home was.

ANYTHING ELSE?

I made a pinterest board for Ariadne here, and a playlist here. Both are constantly in progress, as right now they’re looking a little sparse.

BACKGROUND / THE STORY SO FAR

Religion was always a part of Ariadne’s life, but it didn’t fall into her lap quite so perfectly until she was in Devil’s Knot. She grew up going to a stuffy church every Sunday, with old men half asleep in the pews and slow, heavy hymns that didn’t exactly put the joy of the Lord into her heart. Sunday school was a drag, and her mind was always moving far too quickly for her to pay attention. Why does God make bad things happen? She asked her mother one day, after a collection plate had been filled with sweaty fistfuls of coins and crumpled one dollar bills at the revelation that someone in the congregation had cancer. God doesn’t, her mother said sternly, giving the meat she was tenderizing another smack. Ariadne jumped. People do.

Ariadne never believed that, though, not for a long time. Not until she was seventeen, and her parent’s mumbled words by the television set caught her attention. Murder. Gruesome as could be. She could feel the sinking in her belly of anger, at the cruelty and callousness of the situation. It was in that moment she vowed — she wanted to make a change in the world. She wanted life to not be so cruel. She followed each word of the trial with rigid attention, praying a resolution would be found. And then she saw Max Acosta’s face, and her mother’s words rang true in her mind. People do. People were not a supernatural force, nor an unstoppable one. People — people she could fix.

Being a cop specifically isn’t what she’s always dreamed of — it’s helping people. Ariadne’s people skills, empathy, and desire for change had her toying with the idea of becoming a therapist for a while, but she’s never been particularly focused. The idea of sitting around all day, only using her words … it didn’t feel like enough. Still confused and lost as to how she could possibly make a difference, Ariadne lurked around the local community college for two years, taking enough classes to get an associate’s degree in psychology. The scientific parts bored her, but one class caught her interest particularly well. The Psychology of The Criminal Mind. She knew then that this, that becoming a cop, was what she was meant to do. She didn’t have to save people — she could protect them.

Moving to Devil’s Knot was an easy decision. If there was one thing Ariadne craved, it was connection. People. And a small town, one with a shitty diner and church picnics and the trial that started it all … it just felt right to her. Weren’t those the people that most needed protecting? People who had already been burned? From her tiny apartment, Ariadne poured over police manuals, pushing herself through the academy and finally, finally becoming a trainee officer. Now that she’s in full force ( ha! ) at the force, she’s lost none of her shine or enthusiasm for what she’s doing. She’s certainly not a kiss-ass, because it’s all painfully genuine. She really does want to work more hours, she really doesn’t mind the extra paperwork. Anything that needs to be done, she’ll do it. It’s just what’s right.

HEADCANONS

She doesn’t mean to be a shameless flirt, it’s just how she comes off. She’s bright and she’s funny and she’s warm, and a cheesy smile or a hand placed on a shoulder only comes from that place of kindness. Banter rolls off her tongue easily, and compliments are always genuine. She’s been like this for as far as she could remember — fourteen and charming the wits of all the boys in the freshman class. That mouth’s gonna get you in trouble one day. Her father told her then, through a half baked smile and the reeking stench of whiskey as he ruffled her hair, even though Ariadne thought she was far too old to have her hair ruffled.

Ariadne has always had to work harder than other people. Her mind just doesn’t seem to focus right. That’s part of the reason she’s so meticulous when it comes to police work, the same way she was with assignments throughout her school years. Room is always messy, clothes mostly untucked and never quite ironed properly, but she’s a marvel when it comes to facts and evidence. She likes to let people believe it’s all natural, but the amount of time she’s pulled all nighters perfecting things because everything else is just too interesting for her to focus is more than she can count.

As friendly as she is, Ariadne is not a people pleaser. Firm in her convictions and quick to spout them, shutting her mouth isn’t something she knows how to do. More often than not, these can turn into arguments — though as anyone that’s spent more than an hour with her can tell you, any spat with Ariadne is brief, because forgiving and forgetting is just a part of her personality. She’s always ready to go back to being best friends, and start the cycle over the next time you disagree with her — realistically, the next day.

No one is a worse chef than Ariadne Guzman. Except, well, she doesn’t know it. She tries, always, but she’s the type of person to burn water. Chicken comes out uncooked in the middle, pasta falls apart into mush as soon as you twirl it on a fork, cookies and cakes are burnt and runny, respectively. But she still shows up wherever she’s invited with something disgusting that she’s deemed her new specialty. Suspiciously, after the response, her specialty is never cooked again. Following instructions isn’t exactly her forté when lives aren’t on the line, so it’s not really a shock to anyone but her things turn out badly.

Ariadne loves holidays. Something about not doing much outside of her family as a child, Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving and even Halloween were always huge celebrations for her as a child. She has spirit for everything, and is the best gift giver in all of Michigan. Even though it’s a rarity that anyone sees it, her apartment is decorated as neatly as she can muster for each of them, and she never complains when stores break out their decorations a bit too early. Don’t you feel the spirit in the air?

[anzwrites]

ive been tagged in so many tag games that i haven’t gotten around to doing them so i’m just gonna do them all in one post

5 Facts Tag Game

The aim of the game is simple; list at least 5 lesser known facts about your WIP and/or the OC of your choosing!

1. As of right now all of my wips are in the same universe. So there will probably be subtle nods to the bands of The Reckless in Chaos.

2. In the very first version of Chaos I decided to include a battle of the bands storyline for some reason?? but it’s been scraped since. 

3. Originally Chaos was going to be a long series but I shortened it to one book and now two (the second being more focused on Kelsey’s younger brother and his friend group.) The series was going to follow Ryker and Kelsey into adulthood while Ryker pursued a career as a cop.

4. I chose San Francisco as the setting because I’ve always wanted to go to San Francisco/move there. 

5. Chaos is basically a mix of all of my favorite parts of my favorite movies & tv shows. Examples are, We Need To Talk About Kevin, Skins, The Breakfast Club, etc.

WIP Questions Tag Game

1. Describe the plot in one sentence.

Shane writes letters to Kelsey to cope with the things he’s done.

2. Pick one sight, smell, sound, feel and taste to describe the aesthetic for your novel.

this was hard cause theres so many different aspects?? to this story

Sight - seeing people who were once your closest friends seemingly better off without you. 

Smell - cigarette smoke??

Sound - crackling fire

Feel - hugging someone you love after not seeing them for a long time

Taste - pizza

3. Which 3+ songs would make up a playlist for the novel?

i have an entire playlist here but heres three of the songs from that playlist

popular - nada surf

reaper - have mercy

ghost - sky ferreira 

4. What’s the time period and location in which the novel takes place?

it takes place in san francisco, a fictional suburb called “ridgeview” and some of the surrounding area, in 2013 and up to september 2018

5. Are there any former titles you’ve considered but discarded?

originally it was titled “oh kelsey” but after major changes in the plot i realized the name didn’t fit the feel of the story anymore so i changed it 

6. What’s the first line of your novel?

im most likely going to change it later but for right now its, “In the mailbox there was a manila envelope with letters inside.”

7. What’s a line of dialogue you’re particularly proud of?

so far in this draft nothing super interesting has happened so i don’t have any lines in proud of yet 

8. Which line from the novel most represents it as a whole?

uhhh maybe, “...she had to know what became of the boy she cared for so deeply and how he became the monster who did such heinous things.“

9. Who are you character faceclaims?

for the main three

Kelsey York - Kaya Scodelario

Ryker Kennedy - Devon Bostick

Shane Blanchard - Ezra Miller

the rest are on the character page if you’re curious

10. Sort your characters into Hogwarts houses.

i know very little about harry potter but from what i know Ryker gives me hufflepuff vibes, Magnolia is probably a griffindor, Odessa would be a ravenclaw and Hunter, Meredith & Shane might be slytherin. im too lazy to try and think of anyone else’s.  

11. Which character’s name do you like the most?

Probably Magnolia

12. Describe each character’s daily outfit.

Kelsey: plain tee, cardigan, skinny jeans & converse.

Ryker: emo band tee, blue hoodie, skinny jeans, & red converse.

Shane: punk band tee, leather jacket, black ripped skinny jeans & boots.

13. Do any characters have distinctive birthmarks/scars?

During the novel Kelsey gets a scar on her cheek, Shane probably has various scars from abuse and fights, Felix’s nose is crooked from all the times he’s been punched in the face, Myranda has self harm scars, & Blair has cigarette burns.

14. Which character most fits a character trope?

I feel like Meredith fits the mean girl trope pretty well.

15. Which character is the best writer? Worst?

Josie is the best and Pierce is the worst.

16. Which character is the best liar? Worst?

Nigel is the best and Alan is the worst.

17. Which character swears the most? Least?

Felix swears the most and Josie swears the least.

18. Which character has the best handwriting? Worst?

Best is Melaina and worst is Jared. 

19. Which character is most like you? Least like you?

I think maybe Kelsey is the most like me?? i dunno, Least like me is probably Shane.

20. Which character would you most like to be?

Tiffany, objectively I think she suffers the least trauma. 

Oc Tag Game

i’ll do this one for shane

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? it was his style. i always knew he was gonna dress a bit edgy, when i first created him he was a little bit more emo though.

2. Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind? no, he was very different from the characters i created before.

3. How did you choose their name? at first his name was jason, i think? i honestly don’t know why i named him that??? eventually i changed to to shane because it felt more like him. there was a period in time when his name was seth but i changed it back.

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts? because the story is set in san francisco which is known for their large punk scene, i decided he was going to spend a lot of his time in that scene so i created “nigel’s tavern” and the staff of said club.  this really played a huge part in the rest of his development.

5.6.7) Is there any significance behind their hair colour/eye colour/height? not really. but originally he had red patches in his hair because edgy but i scrapped that.

8. What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story? i don’t think there’s really anything about him that i can relate to,, that’s probably for the best

9. Are they based off of you, in some way? ^^

10. Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation? no,, and i still don’t think it do. all i can concretely say is he definitely likes girls and has probably kissed a few guys. so maybe he’s bicurious 

11. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: Writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? his aesthetic comes very easily to me so edits and drawing him are easy-ish (i haven’t drawn something in like 2 years tho) so i guess writing him

12. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all? no

13. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

how easily he’s feelings toward Kelsey (or anyone really) can switch and 

14. What is something about your OC that can make you laugh?

how far he’ll go to subtly piss someone off

15. What is something about your OC that can make you cry?

literally everything tbh

16. Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

not that i can think off

17. What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

that he was raised catholic by his mother 

18. What is your favourite fact about your OC?

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

1. Are you named after anyone?

not really but i have the same middle name as my grandma

2. When was the last time you cried?

maybe a few days ago

3. Do you have/want kids?

no

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeee boii

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

their hair

6. What’s your eye color?

hazel

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

happy ending!! i lowkey hate scary movies

8. Any special talents?

i literally don’t think i have any talents

9. Where were you born?

florida 

10. What are your hobbies?

i guess writing and making awful youtube videos

11. Do you have any pets?

yes! i have a dog named bella and she’s the love of my life

12. What sports do you/have you played?

im terrible at sports so none

13. How tall are you?

5′4 i think

14. Favorite subject in school?

umm none? lmao

15. Dream job?

i guess writer or youtuber cause im a basic bitchhh

[yusukesmomjeans]

I posted 26,966 times in 2021

108 posts created (0%)

26858 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 248.7 posts.

I added 254 tags in 2021

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#inuyasha - 23 posts

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#homestuck - 16 posts

#art - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#does anyone know if this would also help with the insane allergies everyone’s been having? i don’t know much about plants so it would be coo

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Knock knock. It’s a digger, excavating under the bow.

21 notes • Posted 2021-03-26 22:42:44 GMT

#4

Edalyn Clawthorne is not just a milf but THE milf. Send tweet.

22 notes • Posted 2021-08-29 16:01:24 GMT

#3

Ok, so as a 90s kid, I have some headcanons on the music that Sal and co. listen to:

- Before Sal moved to Knockfell, he listed to radio alt primarily. Some grunge that got airplay, some angsty one hit wonders like Dustin Sheik, a lot of Green Day. If you look up a 90s alt playlist on Spotify, the ones that have all the songs everyone knew, that was what Sal listened to. Henry thought that music was too heavy and dark and depressing, and absolutely panicked when Sal started adding a ton of metal to the rotation. Henry is like weirdly into Jewel, so Sal knows her music and pretends he doesn't like it.

- Ash listens to everything, and I mean everything. It annoys the hell out of everyone else, because if she makes you a mixtape you're basically playing Russian roulette. Is the next track going to be Opeth or opera? Tonic or tonal dissonance? She definitely doesn't think any of the guys listen to enough women, and does her damnedest to broaden their horizons. She likes Skunk Anansie, Bikini Kill, Garbage, The Raincoats, Liz Phair, Meredith Brooks, and above all Courtney Love. She and Sal both love Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger, and sing it really loudly in the car, much to poor Larry's chagrin. (He secretly thinks it's cute and it makes him happy, but he has to put up a fuss because God, Harvey Danger? Really?)

- Todd likes Dream Theater entirely too much. He's also into math rock (stereotyping, sorry), particularly Ent. He also really enjoys a lot of radio alt like Sal. He doesn't have to like a song to memorize it, because his memory is excellent, so he generally chimes in on the Flagpole Sitta car jam just because he can and it's there. He knows a lot of older music because his parents like to put their dusty old records on and dance when they get high, which is why he adores David Bowie. Also unrelated but years down the road I can see Todd coding everyone's MySpaces and making them look incredible because he's the only one who actually knows how to code.

- Neil is a lot like Ash but he likes pretty much everything, which is a big difference that basically cuts out all the truly weird stuff and any country not written by Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton, or Reba McEntire. He really likes listening to things Maple recommends because it's really emotional and he's a sweet feelings baby.

- Sweet angel baby Chug loves anything heavy. For being such a scaredy cat, he really does like bands with terrifying cover art and vaguely scary looking musicians. Ash thinks this is hilarious, but doesn't say anything because she doesn't want to hurt Chug's feelings. His favorite band is Sepultura.

- Maple thinks liking the Cocteau Twins is a personality trait. She also really likes Gene Loves Jezebel. She has a venomous hate for NIN and complains loudly any time anyone even brings them up.

- I feel like a poseur even trying to take a stab at what Larry listens to. Definitely Master's Hammer, because Ritual is super atmospheric and still suitably heavy. And everybody likes Mayhem, right? But mostly Sanity's Fall. He knows his shit but sticks to what he likes, and prefers smaller bands and local bands, very "support your local scene and punch your local nazi."

32 notes • Posted 2021-08-02 17:16:52 GMT

#2

The REAL reason Travis punched Sal is because every time he asks what "Sal" is short for he gets an increasingly ridiculous response. "Salivary gland" was the last straw.

37 notes • Posted 2021-02-08 22:32:54 GMT

#1

@natalieironside @sabertoothwalrus

Sometimes my dash just knows things

109 notes • Posted 2021-08-11 13:31:33 GMT

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