#it's fully romantic for trolls but since our form of romance is as it is it doesn't feel particulary right to call it so | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tamsong · 1 year ago

Text

the homestuck quadrant system & relationships in KotLC

i am fully aware no one asked for this. WAIT that’s a lie three of you asked for this. @orionhong @the-way-astray @soryasongsaa this post is for you <3 it’s been simmering in my drafts since november and i finally had an excuse to finish, and i hope u guys find it interesting!

so. what exactly is the quadrant system, you may ask? and why is it relevant to kotlc? well, we’ll start with the webcomic homestuck. (oh boy) this comic features an alien species called trolls (based off internet trolls) that have some very fun cultural distinctions, such as a caste system based on blood color and the quadrant system, which is a fun variation of romance that i think could be very fun if we applied it to elves, which don’t have enough cultural differences in my opinion.

homestuck trolls have four type of romance as opposed to one and each has its own specific purpose. 2 of them are necessary for reproduction, and 2 of them are necessary for peace and harmony in society. it’s considered desirable to partake in all four kinds of romance, and there are certain rules around this that i’ll get to later. while KOTLC elves only use the one traditional form of romance, it’s considered desirable to be in a socially-acceptable relationship, an approved match, to help grow the elven species, and have a similar sense of Regulation around romance. telepaths also have cognatedom, a special kind of relationship that adds potential for romantic drama into the mix.

i thought it would be interesting if in an alternate universe, the elves recognized more than one form of romance to distinguish their society even more from that of humans. it’s also just fun to ship characters but with extra nuance and spice. so without further ado, let me explain the four quadrants and speculate which relationships in KOTLC, both canon and otherwise, would be in which quadrant! enjoy this silly little time with me

so!! there are two categories: red romance and black romance. red is associated with positive feelings and black with negative, although it’s a bit more nuanced than that. they’re also divided into Concupiscent (associated but not exclusively linked with sexual attraction and reproduction) and Conciliatory (not associated with reproduction). each of the quadrants is assigned one of the four suits in a deck of cards, hence red and black. here's a convenient chart:

a relationship might not just fall into one quadrant, too. relationships are only meant to use one label at a time (more on this later) but often shift across quadrants or be called one quadrant but have some traits of another.

below, i’ve written descriptions of each romance type and also given suggestions for KOTLC ships that would fall into these categories. feel free to fight with me on my choices if you like.

FLUSHED QUADRANT: MATESPRITSHIP/HEARTS <3 (red, concupiscent)

this quadrant is most similar to regular human romance, and already features in kotlc. there's not a whole lot much more to say here, so let's get into examples.

a good canonical example of this in KOTLC is edaline and grady ruewen being matesprits (the name for this kind of partner). an example of flushed feelings that were mutual but never became a relationship is kenric and oralie. sophie and fitz also had flushed feelings for each other canonically, as do sophie and keefe right now, but i would say in both cases the feelings aren't purely <3. i'll talk more about that soon, though.

other noncanon relationships i would describe as matesprits/flushed crushes are tiergan/prentice and marella/linh.

PALE QUADRANT: MOIRALLEGIANCE/DIAMONDS <> (red, concilliatory)

moirails could be best described in our terms as platonic soulmates/queerplatonic partners. that being said, while it doesn't involve kissing or sexual attraction, it IS a type of romance and is distinct from an average friendship. moirallegiance is actually WILDLY similar to the concept of Cognatedom in KOTLC, which is what inspired this behemoth of a post in the first place.

(furthermore, this is why posts implying that cognates are always romantic rub me the wrong way. there are plenty of forms of closeness that aren't traditional romance/flushed).

like cognates, moirails aren't just soul besties, but they're balancing forces that complement each other and keep each other grounded. these relationships hinge on sharing feelings, mutual acceptance, giving advice, and bringing the other person down to earth.

this makes alden and quinlin a good canonical example of ex-moirails. a non-cognate relationship in KOTLC that resembles moirallegiance is that between keefe and dex: they have similar personalities, share secrets, and are able to help each other even when their other relationships are on the rocks.

while sophie and fitz obviously had flushed feelings for each other, their cognate relationship most closely resembles a moirallegiance. they're a pretty good representation of quadrant vacillation, going from close friends and cognates to dating to back to close friends (although their friendship is still recovering from that).

also, while sophie and keefe have flushed feelings for each other, they would actually make really good moirails. they repeatedly have "feelings jams" where they share their worries and trauma with each other (not to say that matesprits can't do this, it's just specifically associated with moirallegiance) like the sleepover scene in neverseen. they're able to see who each other are under their own individual masks, and have well-complementing personalities that bring each other back down to earth. sophie is impulsive but good at connecting with others while keefe thinks things through but makes decisions without consulting other people.

PITCH QUADRANT: KISMESISSITUDE/SPADES <3< (black, concupiscent)

this is where we start to get a bit confusing. pitch relationships are based on hatred, frustration, and annoyance, but just like moirallegiance isn't just an average friendship, kismesissitude isn't your average hatred. there is also an element of attraction and in homestuck is one of the two reproduction-based quadrants.

a kismesis, one's pitch partner, must be someone that not only annoys and angers you but also indirectly challenges you to grow and recognize your own flaws. a kismesis is someone you hate, but grudgingly respect, but also find attractive. basically, it's a very strong arch-rivalry. and while a kismesis is intrinsically hate-based, they’re supposed to cause more or less equal trouble for each other and not actually wish to kill or permanently disable the other. if one or both wants this, or there is a power dynamic where one is harming the other much more, then it’s not a healthy kismesis.

obviously, these feelings aren't really recognized in human or canonical elf society, but if they were i think keefe and tam would make a good kismesis pair. they have outwardly clashing personalities and abilities, but are actually very similar people with a lot of chemistry who just present in different ways. they are at odds for most of their interactions but do show trust and care.

some even better kismesis pairs could be sophie/stina, marella/stina, or even dex/stina. tbh this is just telling me that stina is really good as kismesissitude. home girl just loves hatred i guess. maruca/biana is also a plausible one. you could even do vespera/fintan. go crazy lol

a good example of unrequited pitch feelings is dex’s hate obsession with fitz in the first couple books. in recent material, keefe/fitz could be on their way to a pitch relationship after spending most of their lives in an either pale or platonic situation, but i digress.

ASHEN QUADRANT: AUSPITICISM/CLUBS c3< (black, conciliatory)

this is definitely the weirdest one and is the least defined within the text of homestuck itself, but it means we can also have some fun with it. in homestuck, the ashen quadrant is mostly used for the purpose of mediating two opposing people so they don’t fall into the pitch quadrant. it’s a weird three-way situation involving the conflicting pair and the auspistice, who would be the one having ashen feelings. these feelings might be expressed through an attitude of “god these two are idiots but they’re My idiots damn it and i need to make sure they don’t cause problems.”

two important things to note here: 1) you are only meant to have one person in each of your four quadrants at any given time. 2) while you can shift quadrants, your relationship with someone is only meant to have one of these labels at a time. homestuck trolls are very aggressive and develop feelings of dislike quite easily, so auspistices are needed to prevent people from cheating / getting into romantic fights with people who aren’t their kismesis. while elves aren’t as aggressive, this still could be a problem. for example, if tam and keefe were an established kismesis pair, but keefe and fitz started fighting in a way that could turn into hatred, sophie might be called to be an auspistice for them and make sure their fighting doesn’t turn pitch (in which case keefe would be cheating).

assuming keefe and sophie are matesprits, this also poses a problem for their relationship since sophie is acting as keefe’s auspistice and not his matesprit. It’s a lot.

auspisticism can also be a generalized way of describing relationship mediation. sophie, fitz, and keefe probably need some auspisticizing for all the quadrant shifting they’re doing.

this kind of feeling may be hard to recognize as romantic because of all the utilitarianism surrounding it. think of it as being a very dedicated therapist friend, or part of a very stressful polycule. it requires a Hell of a lot of devotion for two people for their friend to get involved in all that conflict, a devotion which can very much be romantic. I imagine sophie having a high capacity/desire to be an auspistice, as would biana.

that’s the main chunk of the explanation, and there’s a lot to play with here. beyond what i described, you can also get things like two people rapid-firing between flushed and pitch and back to flushed, to people who have feelings for each other but not the same kind, to messy groups of 3, 4, or even more people where relationship types are constantly shifting. conflict in one quadrant can also impact your relationships with all other partners. for example, when alden and quinlin’s cognatedom/moirallegiance fell apart, it could have put stress on quinlin’s matespritship with livvy to the point where the flushed feelings between them are either gone or turned into unhealthy kismesissitude depending on how you look at it.

still confused? that’s okay, you’re kind of meant to be. andrew hussie is a fucking mad lad who doesn’t even take their own story seriously. that being said he did give us the bare ideas for some cool and complex relationship dynamics and a new way of seeing romance, so i’ll give them that.

but anyways, have fun with this!! i would LOVE to see your homestuck-based HCs if you happen to come up with any. a couple more kotlc/homestuck related notes before you go:

- sophie foster is a valid troll name (6 letter first and last name) as is gisela sencen. i couldn’t find any others, which is weird considering the amount of characters.

- trolls have varying powers depending on their blood color, not unlike special abilities.

that’s all folks! have a spectacular day and i hope you learned something cool!

25 notes · View notes

smiting-finger · 5 years ago

Text

Bin AU Headcanons

Part II of the (〃ω〃) 500 followers! unwritten-headcanon amnesty (some given in response to AO3 comment questions, and others given unsolicited, lol), this time for Out of the Bin and Into Your Heart and from me to you, my heart to yours

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian

Pre-Wei Wuxian’s first arrest, Lan Wangji was quietly volunteering as general legal aid (helping old migrants with their internet/other service contracts, helping women with their domestic violence paperwork), and then Wei Wuxian gets arrested at a protest and Lan Wangji is not there and he doesn’t know this area of law so he signs up to get involved with Activist Legal Support the next day.

Relatedly: Lan Wangji’s approach to helping Wei Wuxian has always been to turn up, do what needs to be done for Wei Wuxian to achieve his goals and then silently leave again. So when the two goobers eventually move in together (and are finally fully in each other’s space, and fully across each other’s movements), Wei Wuxian goes through a period of constant realisations like “Oh, Lan Zhan, you’re the one who’s been doing this? This as well?! THAT, TOO???”

Pre-fake dating, Lan Wangji knows that Wei Wuxian won’t keep any gifts given by secret admirers, but will shamelessly accept anything that Lan Wangji gives him outright as a friend (”friend”). He derives a petty satisfaction from that, and so has responded more than once to a gift-incident by giving Wei Wuxian a corresponding gift of his own:

So if he heard about the gift socks, he’d go out and get Wei Wuxian a pair of novelty There’s No Planet B! socks, which Wei Wuxian would naturally wear both immediately and proudly with his shortest pair of 4/5ths pants. (And Lan Wangji would stand next to him and somehow radiate smugness without making any change to his expression.)

Needless to say, Wei Wuxian has received a lot of Lan Wangji chocolate (chilli, fairtrade), lunches (homemade, nutritious) and other small items.

Wei Wuxian never even considers the possibility of not putting all his fake-dating eggs into the Lan Zhan basket. And also never stops to think about why that iss.

In re kungfu practice: when sparring against normal people, Lan Wangji does annoyed-leg-sweeps because of “I’ll bring you down every peg to the floor” reasons he’s too well-bred to voice.

Past recipients of this treatment have included:

Wen Chao,

Xue Yang at his most obnoxious

Jin Zixuan when gossip about his comments in re Jiang Yanli not being pretty or successful enough to date him (”I can’t believe my mum set me up with someone so mediocre”) is at its height.

This is pre-Wei Wuxian onstage-punch. That comes during the second round of gossip.

With Wei Wuxian (and only Wei Wuxian), however, it’s always leg sweeps and pinning, which is because of ... “irritation”.

The Phoenix Mountain Reserve photo has been Lan Wangji’s favourite shot of Wei Wuxian since it was made publicly available, but he couldn’t use it as a wallpaper for obvious reasons.

Then he agrees to the fake-dating, sees how far Wei Wuxian was going to take it and realised: chansu!

At some point during the fake-dating, Wei Wuxian escalates from the phone entry of Oppa to calling Lan Wangji “Oppa~!” in real life, and then from there to a full “Oppa! Saranghaeyo~!” with the arms-on-head love heart.

After n iterations of this, Lan Zhan responds with a mirror arms-on-head love heart and a deadpan “Saranghaeyo.” with his face still like (• _ •) and it’s an instant, supereffective K.O. for Wei Wuxian.

Every so often, when another one of his romantic overtures has soared right over Wei Wuxian’s head, Lan Wangji considers Jin Zixuan’s over-the-top demonstrations of affection and thinks (bleakly) “...Jin Zixuan got a singing telegram. Must I also resort to a singing telegram? ; _ ; “

In re: the concert hip-hop number, shirtlessness is the goal all along:

A-Qing (who is also a troublemaker on Lan Qiren’s radar - as soon as he receives the form that says that she and Wei Wuxian will be working together, his spidey senses start tingling) has been constantly referencing it throughout all their practices like:

“Well, because you’ll be shirtless, you’ll have to make sure to-”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea, totally do that, but remember that you’ll be shirtless too, so-”

Even Song Zichen and Xue Yang know about it and have been visibly bracing themselves for the dress (or undress, lul) rehearsal

Wei Wuxian has missed all of this because of his amazing tunnel vision.

Speaking of Song Zichen and Xue Yang, while they’re having their Moments:

Xiao Xingchen is swanning around like “But do you think the performance had artistic integrity? A-Qing, I’m a little worried that the choreography didn’t do full justice to the abilities of all our members! I hope they don’t think I’m hogging the limelight!”, taunting them with his half-nakedness while he earnestly tries to make sure that all the other dancers are comfortable and happy with the final arrangement

A-Qing fully notices the heart-eye beams shooting over from the wings (and fully notices the same heart-eye beams shooting over during various practices), briefly thinks about saying something to put the two losers out of their misery (because Xiao Xingchen is not the special level of oblivious that Wei Wuxian is), but then thinks ... nah.

During practice back-painting, Wei Wuxian is so focused on Not Looking that his mistimes his ~sexy stretch~ and gets it in precisely when Lan Wangji has turned his back to get the towel, so it really is all for nothing, RIP.

In the reprise back-painting session (and there definitely is one, what with Lan Wangji’s love for marking and the fact that Chinese calligraphers usually sign their name on their work), the levels of both shamelessness and trolling shoot through the roof on both sides:

Wei Wuxian suddenly feels the need to do a lot more whimpering and moaning, and his flinches of “surprise” and wriggling to “get comfortable” suddenly happen a lot more in the hip area than they did before.

Lan Wangji does a lot more touching of the skin he’s about to paint to “warn” Wei Wuxian that the brush is coming (do warnings have to be quite so ... lingering? Only Lan Wangji knows), discovers a sudden need for wrist-pinning to “hold Wei Wuxian still while he works” and his blowing on ink to get it dry suddenly gets a lot more ... sensual ...

Lan Wangji is the teacher that all his babies are always proposing to. They lOvE him with every inch of their tiny baby hearts, and after they get together, Wei Wuxian watches on with a knowing nod, like “My fam, I getcha. Gege will support you in expressing your feelings and we can ALL win!”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t know it, but he has a group of grannies and grandpas wringing their hands over his happiness, too: It’s all well and good that he’s seeing the Lan boy now, but when are they gonna get married, huh? HUH?! WHAT’S THE POINT OF SAVING THE PLANET IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA FILL IT WITH BABIES, WEI WUXIAN???

So once they officially start dating, Wei Wuxian steps into the Cultural Centre like “Ah, our fresh new romance! Even after all this time of fake-dating, I’d better give people some transition time to get used to this new state of affairs!”

And in the background, 73 aunties and grannies are thinking “Look how behind schedule you are, Wei Wuxian!” (because it’s definitely his fault, and not Lan Wangji’s). “Where are the babies? WHERE ARE THE BABIES??”

The wedding advice Wei Wuxian got from the grannies during Mianmian’s wedding prep is liberally flavoured with real life anecdotes like:

“Don’t be like XX’s son. He made the mistake of trying to skimp on the dowry - so disrespectful to people who’ve poured so much love and energy into raising a daughter - and it poisoned the entire relationship.”

“That venue is no good - YY’s daughter had her reception there, and we all had diarrhoea after eating the prawns.”

(And Wei Wuxian is like: “How can you retain all of this bullshit detail about every wedding the Cultural Society has ever witnessed, but still not know how to say the phrase ‘Excuse me, what time is the bus coming’ in English?!”)

Mianmian definitely also gets strong-armed by her excited mother into some glorious(ly terrible) Chinese-style studio wedding photos (with industrial-strength airbrushing and wedding costume changes that span many cultures and many Chinese time periods).

Mianmian swears to never let Wei Wuxian get his grubby hands on that album, on pain of death.

But then her parents host something, and Wei Wuxian goes, and right there, hanging in their living room, is a floor-to-ceiling calendar, featuring Mianmian and Mian-man dressed as Chinese emperor and empress (because Mianmian certainly didn’t want it in her house, but it came with the package.)

Wei Wuxian makes a noise that Mianmian previously thought only dolphins could produce, and proceeds to take SO MANY photos with his phone.

At some point after Mianmian’s wedding, Lan Wangji comes out of the shower to find:

1 pair of pyjama bottoms waiting for him on the bed; and

Wei Wuxian in the corresponding top (which doesn’t cover his butt after all, but whatever, he’s committed), shooting him a double-thumbs up and wearing an expression like 8D!

(And Lan Wangji decides it’s not worth fighting and just goes with it.)

Lan Qiren

Lan Qiren is totally the kind of parent who never boasts about his children directly, but will listen politely to you telling him about how your son scored 86 in his maths examination, and wait for you to obligation-ask about his kids before casually saying, “Oh, Wangji? He scored full marks” and smiling thinly.

He’ll add “Sounds like your son worked really hard” for extra fuck you value if you were being particularly obnoxious.

The greatest tragedy in his parenting life is realising that if your children are The Best, it’s only possible for them to marry down.

His initial feelings regarding Wei Wuxian dating his nephew can probably be summed up as: “Wei Wuxian, I did not lovingly raise my precious Lan Wangji just to give him to you!!!”

(The problem is that his nephew (inexplicably) likes Wei Wuxian so much, mumblegrumble.)

For weeks after The Resentment of Lan Qiren, every time Lan Qiren sees Wen Ning, he shakes his head sadly to himself and mutters “What a shame, what a shame.”

When Wen Ning responds with a slightly panicked “?!”, Lan Qiren just pats him on the shoulder, like, “No, no, it’s not you. We can’t choose our relatives. And isn’t that the greatest shame in the world?” - and then DOESN’T EXPLAIN ANYTHING.

And after many bouts of thinking and rethinking still lead him to the conclusion that Wei Wuxian is the best choice in comparison to all the other available options, Lan Qiren may or may not visit Cangse Sanren’s grave to burn some incense for an excuse to stand there and offer a sullen, “You fukken got me again, you bastard. I can’t believe you.”

He doesn’t know who he hates more:

Wei Wuxian for being himself and yet still the best choice

Cangse Sanren for not letting being dead stop her from continuing to be a thorn in Lan Qiren’s side

Wen Ruohan for being undesirable enough to disqualify the only valid competitor

The other parents for failing to produce children who are better than Wei Wuxian

(Like: Surely it can’t be that hard if he (+ his brother + his sister-in law) managed to produce two)

So he settles for hating everyone.

For his next birthday, Lan Xichen sends him a box of blood-pressure-lowering supplements.

Lan Qiren is like “!!!” but he still takes them because just because his nephew is being impudent does not mean there is not also a Need.

In re 3zun:

Lan Qiren goes around determinedly Not Thinking about Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao. Every time his eyes approach something he doesn’t want to see, he just turns his head like NOPE.

He eventually realises that he and Wei Wuxian have this in common and that Wei Wuxian is therefore his most valuable ally - both in terms of having someone to pivot to and have very loud, very enthusiastic conversations about anything else whenever the 3zun do something they don’t want to see, and also having someone to commiserate with about Not Wanting to Know. (But because they’re them, they alternate between teaming up for self-preservation and using their mutual weakness to take petty jabs at each other.)

"-If two of them are dating, then where does that leave the third one?!"

"RIGHT? Imagine finding out that they were silently pining away, forced to third-wheel for their unrequited love and best friend - unrequited LOVES AND BEST FRIENDS? What would you say to that?!"

"That's not even considering which one the third wheel would be - I honestly don't know which option would be the worst, they're all terrible."

"I'm almost ready to say that I'd rather they all be dating each other, except then I'd have to think about how that would work, dynamic-wise, like - who calls the shots? Do you think Nie Mingjue is domineering all the time, or do you think it’s a public front, and he then goes home to be dominated by-"

“STOP.”

Even before 3zun get together (both Lan Qiren and Wei Wuxian have chosen to Never Know when this is), Jin Guangyao is throwing out suggestive comments left and right and then immediately whipping out his (◔◡◔✿) face for anyone’s double-take:

50% to test the waters of public sentiment before he makes a move and it actually becomes his problem

50% because he’s a troll who likes dominance displays

Knowing this factoid, one of Wei Wuxian’s mental 3zun Dynamics possibilities features Superdom!Jin Guangyao, but he does his best to avoid thinking about that.

After Lan Qiren mentally accepts Wei Wuxian into the fold:

He still internally responds to at least 50% of the things that Wei Wuxian does with “Why, that little shit”, but it’s also implied that Wei Wuxian is their little shit now.

And for Lan Family! Qiren, this means: If you shit on him, WE shit on you.

“Shufu”

Lan Qiren definitely Notices when Wei Wuxian calls him that, but it Doesn’t Do to make a fuss.

He probably has a conversation with Lan Xichen sometime around the first family dinner that goes:

LQR: You've noticed that he's still calling me 'Uncle Qiren' like we're nothing to each other.

LXC: ...If you want him to call you Shufu, should you perhaps not mention that to him?

LQR: What? No, he should already know these things!

And then after the wedding:

LQR: Your brother's boyfriend is finally acting like one of the family. LXC: Haha, oh my.

Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan

Although their mothers have been friends for ages, Jin Zixuan grows up in a different city, so they don't see each other growing up. The Jins later move for Jin Zixuan's high-flying corporate job, Madam Jin joins the Culture Society at her friend's behest and immediately falls in love with Jiang Yanli as a daughter-in-law.

After a lot of cajoling (in both directions), she gets them to agree to one date, which is a disaster (I have more headcanons about this but they won't fit in here)

Jin Zixuan has a lot of money and zero sense of proportion, which does not generally result in tasteful things. (Where Jiang Yanli is concerned, his desire to keep up a "cool" image is completely overpowered by his desire to please, so that doesn't help either. Like a golden retriever who wants people to think he's a cat.)

After they get married, Wei Wuxian sometimes thinks about the peacock's peacocking rituals, like: "It's good that he's gotten more reasonable now that they're married - no, wait, what if he hasn't gotten more reasonable, but there's just no one around to see it because they're married?!" and never gets brave enough to ask his sister about it.

After Jin Ling's birth, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng (and maybe even Jin Zixuan) get locked in an ongoing battle for Jin Ling's affections. Jiang Yanli is the clear favourite, as she should be, but they all want to be #2, and their constant jostling is how he ends up with no chill despite being raised by one calm mum and one aloof (but secretly disaster) dad

But because Jiang Yanli is around, he's very polite about it: the kind of kid who barrels in screaming blue murder, skids to a halt and says "Auntie", and then tears out screaming blue murder again

Wei Wuxian tones it down a lot after he and Lan Wangji adopt A-Yuan because he’s got better things to do, but it’s still A Thing (during visits, A-Yuan spends a lot of time in Auntie Yanli’s lap being gently fed things while his dad and shushu yell at each other over the top of his cousin’s head)

Lan Xichen and Jiang Yanli

Initially brought together by their brothers, they now meet up for regular, peaceful, wholesome tea-dates where they discuss the lives of their mutuals and gently exchange advice (and strategies on how to keep their angry-angry parent/proxy-parent's blood pressure down.

Whereas Jiang Cheng gets closer to coughing up blood with every year that passes by without Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji getting their shit together, Lan Xichen and Jiang Yanli take the more optimistic view of "Look at how well-prepared we are, we've just run another year ahead of schedule!"

Dinner Crew

Jiang Cheng has been the unwilling audience to years of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s bullshit.

If asked, he would say: “And you wonder why I’m so angry?! What do you mean ‘dating’, you’ve been fucking married for the last five years!” but no one ever does :’D

Every so often, he thinks about how happy their sister is about the dating situation because she doesn’t know that it’s fake, and he grinds his teeth because why can’t he also not-know!?

To this, Nie Huaisang says, “If we didn’t know we couldn’t help!”

And Jiang Cheng replies, “WE’RE NOT HELPING ANYWAY, LOOK AT HIM!!!”

Meanwhile, Jiang Yanli continues to gush about how happy she is for Wei Wuxian and all Jiang Cheng can do is laugh really unnaturally because he has to “Be strong, Jiang Cheng! Be strong for A-jie! ╥﹏╥”

He goes to read the comments on the Society Facebook after the fujoshi conversation, and gets so angry at all these people who are like “Ah, their love is so beautiful!” that he has to uninstall his Facebook app, and go and shout into a cupboard somewhere.

The non-Wei-Wuxian members of the dinner group have set up a separate chat to act as a support group, where they all go to:

Wail and gnash their teeth after Wei Wuxian does something particularly dumb

Scheme ways into getting Wei Wuxian to get a clue

Console one another when someone’s brave attempt at getting Wei Wuxian to face the truth fails miserably (because while they play by the rules of ‘what a normal human would do’, Wei Wuxian lives by the principle of ‘lol norms are for losers’.)

Relatedly: for every resigned Nie Huaisang face or enraged Jiang Cheng face that Wei Wuxian notices, there are at least three desperate-yet-silent exchanges that he doesn’t.

Wen Ning is always really optimistic about it, nodding encouragingly like “He’s gonna get it - he’s gonna get it! - oh no, he’s not gonna get it. Oh. Oh no. Ó╭╮Ò”

Wen Ning always has at least one small child hanging off him at all times when he’s at the Cultural Centre because they know he can always be bullied into playing with them and they think he’s great.

Past bullshit dinner group projects have included Getting Jiang Cheng a Date and Making a Picture out of Jin Guangyao’s Forehead Dot While He’s Sleeping

(In re the forehead dot, they end up settling for making it bigger every time he nods off during a movie night at Nie Huaisang’s house, and Nie Mingjue comes home to what’s basically a Japanese flag on Jin Guangyao’s forehead and is like ಠ_ಠ)

Future dinner group projects include providing Wei Wuxian with support for Grand Plans like Getting Along with Uncle Qiren and providing Jiang Cheng with unwanted support for things like Workshopping Jiang Cheng’s List of Partner Requirements

A-Yuan

After A-Yuan’s adoption, Wei Wuxian and Lan Qiren redouble their efforts in Can we divorce an in-law?! because although they couldn’t save themselves from being related to Jin Guangyao, for their PRECIOUS BOY--

Therefore, when A-Yuan is five or six and starts to sound out how he’s related to people and why:

A-Yuan: So if Jin-yeye is Uncle Guangyao’s dad, then that makes him my-

Wei Wuxian: NOTHING!

Lan Qiren (springing up from the other side of the room): NOTHING!

Lan Xichen: lol

At around about this same time, Wei Wuxian, who is never gonna stop trolling Lan Qiren about ruzhui until the day he dies, runs A-Yuan through the “You see, my son, my family is not so well-to-do, and since your Uncle married into the Nie family-” talk, and then proceeds to reference it at every opportunity:

1: Despite A-Yuan almost certainly not asking, and

2: despite (/especially because of) Lan Qiren shouting “DON’T TEACH HIM WEIRD THINGS!” in the background.

(Lan Wangji probably lets it happen or encourages it because he thinks it’s funny)

#CQL #The Untamed #Wangxian #陈情令 #魔道祖师 #mo dao zu shi #not-fic

632 notes · View notes

vidavalor · 21 days ago

Text

Every word of these prior posts is perfect.

I think it's a very human thing for people to bring their own internalized issues to their experiences with art but what kills me about seeing stuff like this so widespread here is that Good Omens is a story specifically designed to use different romantic story conventions in a much more thought-provoking way than they usually are used. It is a story that is literally about usurping norms around things like gender and sexuality and sex.

The supernatural characters coming from a society that is just as fucked up as societies on Earth but has one thing mostly right going for it-- that being their ideas about gender? That is not a coincidence. That is absolutely intentional. That is a key theme in the story and vital to understanding it so it's absolutely maddening to see people treat such a forward-thinking story with the very backwards ideas that it is intentionally calling to its readers/viewers attention, instead of thinking more about what it's saying about those ideas.

This in a story with a trio of central antagonists who are such because they lack open-mindedness, empathy, curiosity, and the ability to think critically. They don't seem to realize that the story is, rightly and justly, openly trolling those who approach art and life in this way.

I think what's so frustrating to me is that Crowley and Aziraphale are a ridiculously good fictional couple. They are true equals, treat each other with kindness and respect, and love each other passionately. They both protect one another, prioritize each other's safety and well-being, and provide safe haven for one another, whether that's a physical place or the space to talk and be open with someone who can be trusted. They make each other laugh and are true friends at the core. They are both absolutely everything, in the sense that they're well-drawn, fully-realized characters who get to be all the things that real people are in a way that isn't always done successfully in many stories, let alone in most romances.

Viewing them the way some do as the OP mentioned is cheapening these characters and is an example of readers/viewers robbing themselves of richer experiences with story. I would doubt that Terry Pratchett would be surprised by this, being that he was a very wise observer of human nature, but it saddens me to think that we live in 2024 and so many of the responses to a story that was progressive in its original form decades ago is being viewed now with what sometimes feels like even less understanding.

It's not even just Crowley & Aziraphale in the story. I see people completely not understanding Ineffable Bureaucracy, too, for the same misogynistic reasons that the OP is discussing and that makes me sad because Gabriel is like the litmus test of Good Omens' ideas about gender. If you get what they're doing with Gabriel, you kind of get everything else. I've seen some people say that Gabriel and Beez are a het relationship?! Beez is canonically non-binary which also makes Gabriel queer by default, since he's their partner-- and that's before we even get into the fact that this is a show that is so dedicated to fucking with our ideas of gender norms that it opened S2 with a crowd of gawking, nosy humans reacting to Gabriel's whole box situation.

The reaction of the crowd indicates that whatever is going on there (and I feel that the fact that this involved a box was a big clue lol) is not something that the human crowd is conditioned by society to expect. It's also not something that's any of their business and the scene operates as a condemnation of the idea that what's going on in someone's pants and what choices they are making with their bodies-- their biological sex, how they want to present, how they identify their gender, who they want to share their bodies with, if they do at all, and in what ways-- are their choices and freedom is autonomy. You see that as a big theme in Discworld and it's very, very much present in Good Omens, too.

All of the angels and demons in Good Omens are non-binary out of the box and that provides the foundation for what the story is saying about traditional gender norms in our gender binary societies and how those norms do all of us-- no matter how you identify-- great harm. Good Omens talks about this by having this group of people who are human in every way that matters but for the fact that they come from this one-step-removed society that is structured differently with regards to gender and then tossing them onto Earth. The purpose of this is to create contrasts and comparisons between that society and ours. It's to reflect our world and show how we could make it better in so many ways by approaching gender the way these characters do.

It's not to say that the supernatural society in Good Omens is perfect or even that it's not prone to some similar issues to human societies-- just that those issues are less pervasive and there is a different consensus, in many ways, when it comes to gender. In Heaven/Hell, biological sex and gender are both acknowledged as the choices they are. People respect the pronouns of people on their own side and of their hereditary enemies alike because it's completely normalized in their society that every person just chooses what those are without issue from anyone else. No one in Heaven or Hell is demanding that Beez use she/her pronouns or telling Muriel that they have to decide if they're going to be a boy or a girl. Those who have human-like bigotry regarding issues of gender and/or sexuality are the Sandalphons of supernatural society. They exist, but they're a minority. For the most part, the supernatural society has done well to keep them as such.

Even characters who have aspects of human-like gender issues-- like Gabriel, the show's one-man discussion on the harm done to all by toxic masculinity? He doesn't find the idea of anyone-- supernatural or human-- having a complex view of gender out of the norm. Gabriel's partner being non-binary? Fine by him. Doesn't threaten his masculinity. Why would it? Gabriel's new friend being Crowley, the poster person for gender fuckery? He's got no issue with that. Gabriel himself, using he/him pronouns and generally identifying along the more typically masculine lines, whatever that even truly means, and also, in the separate but sometimes related area of biological sex, efforting with male anatomy most of the time, then maybe having days when he has a vulva or a different situation or no situation at all, as 2.01 implied? He doesn't see this as something that is all that complicated or anyone's business besides whose business he might choose to make it. Gabriel, like most of the angels and demons, finds the gender binarism of human societies that treat people who color outside those lines as outside the norm disturbing.

That's the entire fucking point. It is disturbing. It is disturbing that we live in societies that largely correlate gender with biological sex and pretend that it's all determined by biological sex assigned at birth. It is disturbing that we have very traditionalist and binary ideas about gender and consider those who fall in line with those ideas the default and everyone else as somehow "wrong" for not adhering to these rules that really benefit no one but white, conservative, Christian men... and even then, not really them, because they are victims of their own miserable toxic masculinity creation. They aren't healthy as a result of this, either. It's good for no one.

So, it's especially disheartening to see people bringing those ideas into a story that is designed to show the good that can come from completely and utterly upending them, and I'm with you on that, @dalliancekay.

One of my favorite moments of the story getting into these ideas is that Gabriel, memories present or not, doesn't know what a wife is because he has a partner. It's subtly one of the smartest jokes in the series because it ties into the fucked up history of the word wife. It originally just meant woman. Not a married woman but just a woman and then society took that word for woman and made it mean a woman who was married, as if only women who had a husband were actually women.

It's a joke that is actually used twice in S2, to great effect-- not just the Gabriel scene but with Crowley using, in ancient times, the only word still in modern use today that retains the historical definition of wife meaning women and not married woman: midwife, as in the "I am a professional midwife/cobbler" scene. One level of meaning of that relates to both gender and biological sex choices Crowley typically makes, which are things that the OP is mentioning are aspects of this character that are frequently ignored by people seeking to assign them more traditionally binary roles related to gender, sex, and sexuality.

Among the many definitions of cobbler is that it's slang for testicles, stemming from a testicular-looking cobbling tool knowing as a cobbler's awl. [Awl is also connected to and homophonic for owl and the name of the Job minisode is "A Conversation with Owls."] Crowley is cracking himself up in this scene by the fact that this zany and unlikely pair of twin passions here-- being someone who makes/repairs shoes and also delivers babies-- is actually accurately metaphorical for him on a bunch of different levels. Two of those levels relate to how he sees himself when it comes to his gender identity and his biological sex preferences.

On a gender level, being a midwife/cobbler is related to being a bit androgynous. He's a midwife-- midway to a woman, a feminine man, a masculine woman, a Thin Dark Duke, whatever you want to call it-- and, at other times, a bit more of a cobbler, meaning that he has periods of presenting as more traditionally masculine-leaning with less femininity. On a biological sex level, he's sometimes a midwife and sometimes a cobbler, meaning: sometimes, he's having a penis day and other times, he's having a vulva day. Neither are beholden to whatever he's doing, gender-wise, on the surface, as they're not the same thing.

A similar joke, though one more directly related to biological sex than gender, is in the Aziraphale-penned Crowley entry in Demon's Guide, as one meaning of "occasionally damp, most likely singed" line. Singed is scorched-- light heat. It's euphemistic for an erection, in comparison to being damp being euphemistic for having a vulva. It's saying Crowley usually has a penis but, on occasion, has a vulva. Aziraphale is the same way. Neither choice of efforting is necessarily beholden to how they are outwardly presenting when it comes to gender, either, as why would it be? What we call masculine and feminine are just concepts we've made up.

People are just people. What's in someone's pants doesn't have to be known and what someone wears doesn't matter and it all doesn't have to match some dumb rules made up by patriarchal, repressed, harmful societies. Yet, here we are, ironically talking about characters who were specifically drawn to challenge the notions of those societies often not being understood as that.

I guess my point is that I agree with you, @dalliancekay, about some people trying to trap both Aziraphale and Crowley into these very narrow, very traditionalist boxes into which they were very wonderfully and expressly made not to fit. I see discomfort with aspects of Crowley, too, that I find surprising, and that I think fits your ideas about the internalized misogyny at heart in some people's poor understanding of Aziraphale. I've seen some people upset about Crowley's genderfluidity in a way that I will admit that even my usually pretty unshockable, hopeful cynic self found pretty disturbing. The need to take a canonically genderfluid character whose story is also a trans allegory and object to any feminine aspects of that greatly bothers me.

I've seen people upset by some drawing Crowley in a skirt or a dress. My great god, he has worn feminine clothing on the show. He is dressed, head-to-toe, in styles designed for women in Golgotha. He is wearing women's jeans and sunglasses for the entire flashback in 1.01. There is an entire plot about Crowley's discomfort with being genderfluid in repressive human societies that is subtly running throughout the story that is ignored by a lot of people.

The way he's trying to hide it and "pass" for what others interpret as straight and exclusively male around the Nazis in 1941 and him pushing back on people like Shadwell in 1967 versus how much freer he feels in the more recent few decades in the story and his decision to tell Mrs. Sandwich in S2... ignoring that story is doing a disservice to Crowley and it's insulting to the trans, non-binary, and genderfluid fans and to the people who aren't any of those things but who support them.

Begging people who are doing this to relax and realize that they don't need to make Crowley fit traditional gender binary ideas of masculinity to justify their own need to want to fuck him. It's okay that you do-- it's what unites us all. 😂 You don't have to be afraid of the fact that you're attracted to a character who has absolutely had a cock while wearing a silky slip before. Internalized misogyny plus internalized queerphobia & transphobia is unfortunately pretty common and can be overcome. There is nothing "wrong" with him-- or for you for liking him.

When you start to take apart some people's objections to Crowley's genderfluidity, though, some of what you arrive at is the same misogyny beneath it and relating to Aziraphale that the OP mentioned. They need Crowley to be what they see as masculine exclusively because they view femininity as weaker. They are only capable of seeing a partnership through a traditionalist, het filter. They associate masculinity with dominance and femininity with passivity. They need to view Crowley as the masculine/dominant partner because they cannot compute the idea that both characters can just be any and all the things they'd like, whenever they want.

If Crowley isn't "the man" in the relationship to them, it means to them that Aziraphale is, and then they'd be forced to rearrange their roles in their internal, traditional, het-based, romantic narrative the OP was talking about. That makes them uncomfortable. It should, because that's the point of the story, but many people, unfortunately, run from their discomfort, instead of engaging with it and learning from it.

I've seen it also permeate ideas about their sexual relationship in a way that's really gross, as I'm sure a lot of you have, too. There are, unfortunately, a lot of people who apply traditional gender ideas to sexual power dynamics. What makes me sad about that is that they're missing out on seeing what is actually a really healthy, trauma-informed, consent-focused, loving, playful, sexy relationship where both partners play to equal power and are treated well by one another because of applying ideas to the story that are the very ideas that the story exists to push back against in the first place.

I don't want to stray too far from your original point but while I'm joining your gripe fest here 😂, I also would like to vent about an adjacent issue here, which is a lot of the rampant anti-intellectualism that permeates so many fandoms (and is everywhere in society outside of it right now) but that I find especially distressing seeing a lot in the Good Omens space.

I'm not going to say that it isn't cute to see Crowley cuddled up for a nap while Aziraphale reads or for Aziraphale to read to him but my god, the number of people who believed Crowley's joke that he "doesn't read books" boggles the mind. He's obsessed with words, canonically. There's a pun out of his mouth every five seconds. There are books at his flat in S1-- and in the bookshop, as he gave one he liked to Muriel! He wrote one of the first books in existence when building his nebula! For thousands of years, books were the primary form of entertainment. What do these people think he did for all those years? Crowley is canonically a poet. He's a writer. He's a romantic. Writers and romantics fucking read. They really all think Aziraphale would ever be in love with somebody who doesn't? What is this ridiculousness? 😂

Please, for the love of god, stop with the "our boys are dumb as rocks" nonsense. Do not mistake being silly and playful or misinterpreting situations for being stupid. These characters are far from stupid. They read, they write, they know a fuckton about art and science and literature and history and music. They are both very intelligent and very knowledgeable. The frequent reduction of Crowley, in particular, to dumber than a sack of potatoes hurts my heart. Crowley is a polymath. He's a scientist, an artist, an inventor and a poet. He's no lightweight. The trend to pretend that these characters aren't smart is reflective of trends right now in some generations to view intelligence and critical thinking with disdain. These people don't read, so why would Crowley? is what's at the core of it and that's the stuff that makes me glad Terry Pratchett isn't here to see people completely not comprehend his work like that.

Fascist creep isn't just a right-wing problem; it invades progressive spaces as well. I see a lot of that anti-intellectualism and attempts to police ideas about gender and sexuality in the Good Omens space, which just shows how pervasive it is in our societies right now. The OP's points are very timely and necessary. Good Omens is a story made to push back against the very ideas that are spreading a bit in some, if thankfully not nearly all, corners. I think we need to make sure that we are doing the best we can to help one another really see the story and challenge these harmful ideas where we can. We need to be gentle with each other as a lot of this stuff is so ingrained that some people might not realize the extent to which they are overtaken with complete piffle but I'm happy to see a lot of us agreeing that it can't go unchecked.

Aziraphale, misogyny and the female character treatment

I don't know if anyone wrote a post about this but I see from time to time comments to this end - that Aziraphale is treated like the female leads in films often are, obviously especially romantic films. So I'm gonna try to point how I see this. I welcome further insights of course.

Say we take a basic premise of a romantic film: A girl is wooed by a bad boy for example. And she is a good girl, from a good, proper family and everything so she refuses his advances. This goes on through his various ploys to entertain and romance her, do things for her etc etc and frustrates us as the audience because we can see the bad boy is actually good, her family is oppressive and holding her back and that she (deep down) cares for him (if only she was brave enough to admit it to herself) and so we want her to open her eyes and say she is actually in love with him cos her life will be so much better should she (finally) give in and run away with him.

Familiar? Reasons Aziraphale is not her and the analogy does not fit (but that I so often see in metas and takes about her):

Aziraphale always knew her family is shit. Or at least longer than Crowley did. She was already anxious in Before the Beginning about what she thought Angel!Crowley could and could not say or do without getting into trouble.

She knows Crowley is good. She never doubted him. Whatever he says or does or pretends to do or must do for his job. Aziraphale knows he's inherently good and would always do good if he can.

She knows she's in love - I mean we can argue about when each realised this and also when each realised the other loves them back just as fiercely, but they both know. And they both love. And they both long to be together. Aziraphale is not ashamed of her feelings nor hiding or suppressing them for fear they are wrong or immoral or other BS like that.

Aziraphale doesn't need to overcome her love for her family/employer and finally make the leap to be with Crowley. They simply can't leave their bosses without punishment. Neither of them. They live in a dictatorship with nowhere to go. And just because Crowley experienced both sides, doesn't give him some huge insight that Aziraphale completely lacks. Both places are awful. Their separation isn’t about fear of societal judgment (or Aziraphale's unwillingness to give up Heaven, being seen as good, being an angel - and to what end, to Fall? I really don't know what takes like this want from her, it would not work anyway), it’s about survival in a system that won’t let them be together.

Aziraphale doesn't want to change Crowley. She never did. She asked for Crowley to come to Heaven as an angel because that was THE ONLY option she had for them to be together in any capacity at that point. It was NOT an attempt to “fix” him—it was a desperate bid for a way they could be together at all.

One thing I don't see as much anymore is the call for Aziraphale to change. Obviously she's pretty but she would be prettier if she lost those century old clothes maybe and started listening to something made after 1950? Be more cool to match Crowley? Less stuffy?

These kind of film premises are already pointless, offensive and make me roll my eyes, but to stick them all over Aziraphale and huff cos she doesn't do what the clever sexy man in dark clothes and sunglasses says she should - well that makes me angry.

And so do takes and mischaracterisations that ignore Aziraphale as silly, her worries as pointless, sometimes excessive - maybe she's just hysterical, you know? The one time she shows more emotion, in F15, she is so often completely ignored in her obvious distress just because Crowley is trying to confess his love at the same time and seemingly 'not getting through,' because Aziraphale is not reacting the way everyone expects. So many takes that always assume Crowley is right, no matter what. Even when he calls Aziraphale an idiot. If Crowley says that, it must be true. No matter that the book spells out in Terry's voice that the angel is extremely clever.

Aziraphale’s charm lies in her kindness, her love for books and knowledge, her whimsy, and her quiet courage. These qualities don’t make her naive—they make her resilient. She often hides how she truly feels, hides her grief, her pain, her true desires, hides what she really thinks; always always to protect herself and her beloved. She is often forced to say stuff she doesn't mean. Again. To keep the one she loves and their fragile relationship safe. But where people seem to catch on with that on Crowley's side, they don't with Aziraphale. She is fierce when pushed and will defend the defenceless (humans) and the ones she loves (Crowley) to her last breath (whether she needs to breathe is irrelevant right now okay).

She loves her bookshop. She built this home, full of knowledge for herself and her demon and you can take this HC from my cold hands. That she was forced to leave it, only emphasises how little choice she had in Final 15. Good Omens has two main, equal characters; who are both gorgeous and complex and deep and neither is right or wrong or in need of saving or learning some huge lesson to get to their goal and be together. What needs to change is the world, the system they live in. And they will change it.

Just look at her!! Anyway. I love her. P.S. Just to add, many, many (if not all) bad takes on Aziraphale are also bad takes on Crowley. They mischaracterise and misunderstand just how deeply and unconditionally he loves Aziraphale. How he adores her and understands and accepts her just as she is. He does not expect or want Aziraphale to change in any way. He knows why they are not together. And it's not Aziraphale's fault, it's because of circumstances, not because of her choices. Crowley would never ever want Aziraphale to suffer, he wouldn't expect her to come back from Heaven saying how sorry she is for what happened, how stupid and blind she was and how he was always right. That's just not going to happen. ------------------------------------------ @tenok I simply must highlight the awesomeness you put in hashtags!! EVERYBODY please read:

Thank you sm for this!!

#good omens #good omens meta #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #the archangel fucking gabriel

431 notes · View notes

zero-winters · 6 years ago

Text

The problem is that when the subject of troll romance is broached, our sparing human intellects instantly assume the most ingratiating posture of surrender imaginable.

But we will do our best to understand regardless.

Humans have only one form of romance. And though we consider it a complicated subject, spanning a wide range of emotions, social conventions, and implications for reproduction, it is ultimately a superficial slice of what trolls consider the full body of romantic experience. Our concept of romance, in spite of its capacity to fill our art and literature and to rule our individual destinies like little else, is still just that. A single, linear concept. A concept usually denoted by a single symbol.

Troll romance is more complicated than that. Troll romance needs four symbols.

Their understanding of romance is divided into halves, and halved again, producing four quadrants: the FLUSHED QUADRANT, the CALIGINOUS QUADRANT, the PALE QUADRANT, and the ASHEN QUADRANT.

Each quadrant is grouped by the half they share, whether horizontally or vertically, depending on the overlapping properties one examines. The sharpest dichotomy, from an emotional perspective, is drawn between RED ROMANCE and BLACK ROMANCE.

RED ROMANCE, comprised of the flushed and pale quadrants, is a form of romance rooted in strongly positive emotions. BLACK ROMANCE, with its caliginous and ashen quadrants, is rooted in the strongly negative.

On the other hand, the vertical bifurcation has to do with the purpose of the relationship, regardless of the emotions behind it. Those quadrants which are CONCUPISCENT, the flushed and caliginous, have to do with facilitating the elaborate reproductive cycle of trolls. Those which are CONCILIATORY, the pale and ashen, would be more closely likened to platonic relationships by human standards.

There are many parallels between human relationships and the various facets of troll romance. Humans have words to describe relationships of a negative nature, or of a platonic nature. The difference is, for humans, those relationships would never be conceptually grouped with romance. Establishing those sort of relationships for humans is not driven by the same primal forces that drive our tendency to couple romantically. But for trolls, those primal forces involve themselves in the full palette of these relationships, red or black, torrid or friendly. Trolls typically feel strongly compelled to find balance in each quadrant, and seek gratifying relationships that each describes.

The challenge is particularly tortuous for young trolls, who must reconcile the wide range of contradictory emotions associated with this matrix, while understanding the nature of their various romantic urges for the first time.

Of course, young humans have this challenge too. But for trolls, the challenge is fourfold.

When two individuals find themselves in the flushed quadrant together, they are said to be MATESPRITS. Matespritship is the closest parallel to the human concept of romance trolls have. It plays a role in the trolls' reproductive cycle, just as it does for humans.

This is pretty obvious! Not much more needs to be said about this. Moving right along.

When a pair of adversaries delve into this quadrant, they become each other's KISMESIS. As one of the concupiscent quadrants, it plays a role in procreation as well. There is no particularly good human translation for this concept. The closest would be an especially potent arch-rivalry.

For instance, human players would never be able to adequately diagnose the relationship between the queen and her archagent. But troll players could immediately place it as a dead ringer for kismesissitude. They would think we were all pretty stupid for not getting it. And they would be right.

Trolls have a complicated reproductive cycle. It's probably best not to examine it in much detail.

The need to seek out concupiscent partners comes with more urgency than typical reproductive instincts. When the IMPERIAL DRONE comes knocking, you had better be able to supply genetic material to each of his FILIAL PAILS. If you have nothing to offer, he will kill you without hesitation.

The genetic material - WITHOUT GOING INTO MUCH DETAIL - is a combinative genetic mix from the matesprit and kismesis pairs, respectively. The pails are all offered to the mother grub, who can only receive such precombined material. She then combines all of it into one incestuous slurry, and begins her brooding.

This doesn't mean the initial combination was for naught, however. In the slurry, more dominant genes rise to the fore, while the more recessive find less representation in the brood. Especially strong matesprit and kismesis pairings yield more dominant genetic material. The more powerful the complement or potent the rivalry, the more dominant the genes.

TROLL REPRODUCTION SURE IS WEIRD. We all take a moment to lament how pedestrian the human reproductive system is, and further lament that the phrase "incestuous slurry" is not a feature of common parlance in human civilization.

This quadrant involves a particular type of three-way relationship of a black romantic nature. Falling on the conciliatory side, it has no bearing on the reproductive cycle, except for indirect ramifications.

When two trolls are locked in a feud or some otherwise contentious relationship, one can intervene and become their AUSPISTICE. The auspistice mediates between the two, playing the role of a peace keeper, preventing the feud from boiling over into a fully caliginous rivalry.

Since such lesser feuds are quite common among trolls, there is a significant need for auspisticing parties. Without them, too many ashen feuds would become caliginous, and begin to conflict with other exclusive kismesis relationships, leading to a great deal of social complexity and sore feelings (even more so than black romance usually involves). Without auspisticism, the result would be widespread black infidelity.

The relationships each quadrant describes tend to be malleable, if not volatile, especially on the concupiscent half where more torrid emotions reside. It doesn't take much to flip a switch and transmute blackrom feelings to redrom, and vice versa.

In many cases, one party will have red feelings while the other has black. But it will often be the case that one party's feelings will swap to match the other's, since there is no quadrant which naturally accommodates such a disparity. But thereafter, it's not uncommon for the two to toggle between red and black in unison now and then. These scenarios naturally result in both red and black infidelities.

This sort of relationship volatility is why conciliatory relationships are an important part of troll romance.

An auspistice can stabilize particularly turbulent relationships. If the auspistice fails to mediate properly, or has no interest in the role, or perhaps has different romantic intentions him/herself altogether, then the relationship often quickly deteriorates into one of an especially hostile and torrid nature. There are many outside factors and influences tugging and pulling these relationships in different directions, and unlike humans who have very orderly, simple, straightforward romantic relationships without exception, trolls exist in a state of almost perpetual confusion and generally have no idea what the hell is going on.

Being confused by troll relationships is one thing we do have in common though.

This quadrant presides over MOIRALLEGIENCE, the other conciliatory relationship. A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.

Trolls are a very angry and violent race. Some are more hot-tempered and dangerous than others, to the extent that if left to their own devices, they would present a serious threat to society, or even to themselves. Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll, who may become their MOIRAIL. The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

It's often ambiguous especially among young trolls whether a bond formed between an acquaintance is true moirallegence, or the usual variety of platonic involvement. Furthermore, romantic intentions of a more flushed nature can often be mistaken for paler leanings, much to the frustration of the suitor.

But some pale pairings, as the one above, will be strikingly obvious to all who know them.

God you just can't get enough of this can you! That would have been a great point for a transition out of this illustrated sociological study, but ok, if you insist.

Now see, what's going on here is...

It's perfectly simple. When the full matrix of troll romance is in action, we have... uh...

Hey, why don't you figure it out! You should be an expert on all this by now anyway.

Later our troll hero would try to explain this to our human hero, attempting to convey all the nuance of troll romance through a nearly verbatim recitation of the preceding excerpts.

He would try to describe how rich and textured the troll romantic comedies were compared to the one dimensional schlock of our human cinematic counterparts. He would barely scratch the surface of Troll Will Smith's virtuosity with the delicate lattice of troll romance, as he would assist the bumbling fudgeblooded Troll Kevin James through the interwoven minefield-briarpatch of redrom and blackrom entanglements, all the while sifting through his own prickly romantic situation and ultimately learning the true meaning of hate and pity. But would they succeed before the imperial drone came knocking with his thirsty pails at the ready??? Yes, they would.

But John didn't understand any of this because he's a moron, and he wouldn't shut up about his awful bullshit Earth movies. He would just go on and on and on about that garbage.

But if there was one theme to be hammered through his thick skull, it would be the trolls' cultural preoccupation with romantic destiny. Yes, the romantic landscape is rife with false starts and miscues and infidelities, red and black. But every troll believes strongly that each quadrant holds one and only one true pairing for them, and it is just a matter of time before the grid is filled with auspicious matchups through the mysterious channels of TROLL SERENDIPITY.

In short, their belief is that for each quadrant there exists a pair or triad of trolls somewhere in the cosmos that were...

MADE FOR EACH OTHER.

2 notes · View notes

thezodiaczone · 6 years ago

Text

July Forecast for Virgo

Make the rounds, Virgo! For the first three weeks of July, you’re in social butterfly mode. Dress up and see friends, go to parties and catch up with your social circles. The Sun is in Cancer and your outgoing eleventh house until July 22, heating up teamwork and technology. Connect with like-minded people, both virtually and in person, and combine your superpowers FTW. Get a digital project underway or spruce up your online presence.

The energy runs high this month because we’ve entered eclipse season again. Two of this summer’s three eclipses arrive on July 12 and 27, bringing boldfaced changes and turning points. Eclipses sweep in four to six times a year and remove anything that’s past its expiration date, flinging open the doors for a fresh start.

And on July 10, expansive Jupiter ends a four-month retrograde slowdown in Scorpio, igniting your third house of communication and local affairs. A savvy idea or creative collabo that got back-burnered this spring could pick up speed now. Bountiful Jupiter is visiting Scorpio from October 10, 2017, until November 8, 2018, a transit that only happens every 12 years. During this time, you’ve opened up to new friendships and hopefully become much more laid-back about going with the flow rather than rigidly planning (and then micromanaging) every last detail. With globetrotting Jupiter visiting your third house of community, many Virgos searched for new neighborhoods to work and hang out in.

In November, Jupiter will start a yearlong visit to Sagittarius and your fourth house of home, which could see you relocating or settling into a more permanent address. Until then, you might embrace the boho life and enjoy a nomadic summer. One Virgo friend of ours just signed up for a service called Trusted Housesitters, paying a small annual fee to couch-surf the world while she figures out her next permanent address. Considering a move? Hop around to some Airbnbs and experiment with daily life in locations you’re considering. This is the time to “try before you buy.”

On July 12, a partial solar (new moon) eclipse lands in Cancer, igniting your eleventh house of groups and digital ventures. Solar eclipses mark bold beginnings and can set us on a whole new (and unexpected) path. This is the inaugural eclipse in a series that will fall on the Cancer/Capricorn axis between now and July 2020 and initiate a wave of changes around your romantic relationships, friendships, creativity and online presence. Your social network and love life could look dramatically different over the next couple years. Ready to be “Internet famous”? You could link up with some trailblazing influencers or have an out-of-the-box idea that goes viral. The eleventh house rules the airwaves, from television and radio to the digisphere, and you could find yourself using any of these mediums to spread your message. Some Virgos will step into leadership roles as social justice frontrunners, a la your signmate, civil rights activist Shaun King.

This is the only eclipse from this group in 2018, and it’s a preview of changes that will really take flight in 2019. Still, it will be an intense start! On July 12, the Sun and new moon are exactly opposite power-tripping Pluto in Capricorn and your dramatic fifth house. Any eclipse-driven changes could be met with resistance from a jealous diva type who doesn’t like sharing the spotlight. Does someone in your life always seems to create chaos the minute the attention isn’t all on them? (Yeah, that person.) The annual Sun-Pluto opposition brings out people’s unconscious “shadow” side, provoking egos and domineering behavior. Paired with an eclipse, that can be heightened. Distance yourself from drama queens today and leave the online trolls alone, (especially!) if they push your buttons.

Ready for an escape? Take a respite from all of it on July 22, when the Sun slips into Leo and your restful twelfth house, kicking off a month of healing and completions. Tie up loose ends before Virgo season starts on August 23. You may feel sleepier than usual and simply not up for big crowds or energetically demanding projects. Conserve your energy and ramp up the self-care.

You’ll really want to keep those boundaries firm starting July 26, when your ruling planet Mercury nosedives into a signal-jamming retrograde until August 19, which can muck up technology, communication and transportation. Trains run late, phones and laptops die mysteriously, and people wildly misunderstand one another. Mercury will be retrograde in Leo and your foggy twelfth house, potentially creating a minefield of confusion and passive-aggressive behavior. Trying to get a straight answer out of anyone will be an exercise in futility.

Retrogrades ARE good for resolving issues from the past and reconnecting with people from “back in the day.” With Mercury reversing through your twelfth house of closure, you’ll especially enjoy nostalgic trips down memory lane. Look through old photos, visit elderly relatives or pick up a cast-aside project or hobby like playing an instrument or crafting. If you have some forgiveness work to do, this is a good time to process painful emotions that you’ve kept bottled up for so long, possibly with the help of a therapist or healer. The twelfth house rules the subconscious, so don’t be surprised if your sleep is interrupted by some vivid dreams or visitations from departed loved ones.

Also retrograde from June 26 until August 27 is energy planet Mars, which can further sap your already-depleted batteries. Until August 11, Mars is backing through Aquarius and your sixth house of health and organization. Even Virgos who are consummate planners could find it hard to keep on top of everything. Stressful Mars in this anxious zone can ramp up the tension, avoid multitasking or taking on projects that are sure to fatigue you. You could end up with a summer cold or burnt-out from exhaustion. Pace yourself and book plenty of healing appointments—and don’t forget to eat regularly (and healthfully!) to keep your blood sugar levels steady. Mars retrograde can make people accident-prone. Cut distractions—especially while commuting—and triple-check your work. If you’re physically active, know your limits so you can avoid any sports-related injuries.

One huge spotlight day around your wellbeing arrives on July 27, when a total lunar (full moon) eclipse lands in Aquarius, with Mars running neck and neck. You could make a sweeping lifestyle change, switching up your daily routines or eating or fitness habits, or dramatically exiting a confining and stressful scenario. Since the sixth house rules employees and delegating, you might cut ties with a service provider or majorly upgrade the people on Team Virgo. You could also reach a breaking point—probably a necessary one—wherever you’ve made sacrifices that aren’t in your own best interest or tried to control a situation in vain. Enough!

In our opinion, lunar eclipses feel more radical than solar ones, because full moons bring endings, transitions and full-circle events. This is the final Aquarius eclipse in a series that’s been touching down on the Leo/Aquarius axis since February 2017 and revolutionizing your approach to health and helping you find the right balance between control and surrender. Look back to the prior two Aquarius eclipses on August 7, 2017, and February 15, 2018, for clues of what might fully come together now. There will be one last Leo eclipse on January 21, 2019, which will close this chapter. Between now and then, continue releasing situations that don’t serve your highest good.

Love & Romance

You may have to work a little harder to find those lovin’ feelings this month. Aggro Mars is retrograde from June 26 to August 27, and until August 12 it’s in Aquarius and your nitpicking sixth house. This can drive up the tension and cause you or your partner—or both of you—to take the stress out on the other. It’ll be way easier to find fault than love, but hopefully forewarned is forearmed! When you slip into an anxious state or catch yourself overanalyzing every little thing, step back and look at things from a broader perspective. And definitely refrain from trying to “fix” a relationship or partner. Once Mars straightens out, things might sort themselves naturally, or you’ll be calm enough to discuss it like two civil humans who can give each other the benefit of the doubt.

Meanwhile, on the other side of your chart, Venus is in big-hearted Leo and your fantasy-fueled twelfth house until July 9. You might have a pair of rose-colored glasses permanently affixed to your face, giving everything a pink glow. This COULD be your idealist side poking through—or an unconscious urge to escape present reality. Either way, it’s a distortion, so strive to bring more awareness to your conversations and actions.

On July 9, Venus makes her annual entrance in your sign, restoring your groove in a big way! You’ll be in your sensual element, clear(er)-eyed and eager to bring a relationship onto terra firma. You’ll also be in a better position to make wise decisions, though with Mars still trying to micromanage things, you may feel an internal tug-of-war going on.

Venus will form flowing trines to innovative Uranus (July 11), structured Saturn (July 14) and transformational Pluto (July 27), all in thrill-seeking and fiery parts of your chart. The Venus-Uranus mashup gives you the long-range vision to see past the hurdles and identify potential opportunities where others only see the roadblocks. And when Venus connects to Saturn and Pluto, both in grounded Capricorn and your amorous fifth house, you’ll acquire the rare talent of being able to incorporate adventure and passion without destabilizing your life.

Key Dates

July 14: Venus-Saturn Trine With beautifying Venus in Virgo making a harmonious angle to “make it happen” Saturn, this might be the day you nail down some specific—and stimulating—plans for your shared future. Single? Treat your love life like any other project and commit to actions that will get you the results you desire. That could mean working with a love coach, downloading a new dating app or signing up for hobbies where you’ll meet like-minded people. Sure, it’s great to let Cupid work his magic, but if you throw him a bone, he’ll work that much harder.

Money & Career

Disorder in the Virgo court? It could be hard to stay on top of all the moving parts in your life now, as energizer Mars spends the whole month retrograde (backward) in Aquarius and your sixth house of organization and helpful people. You might need to revamp or upgrade some of your systems, especially ones that are outdated. But easy does it—FIVE planets will be retrograde at various points in July: expansive Jupiter (until July 10), communicator Mercury (July 26 to August 19), and all month, Mars, structured Saturn, foggy Neptune and strategic Pluto. Even if you want to rush into something, you’ll be forced to perform all the cross-checks and avoid cutting corners.

Mars retrograde could bring some upheaval to Team Virgo, especially when it joins up with the July 27 total lunar eclipse, a day that could see the sudden entrance or exit of a key person. You might just declutter in a way that makes Marie Kondo look slovenly. With all this activity in your micromanaging sixth house, you might be tempted to cling more tightly instead of let go. Note that this lunar eclipse could make your resistance futile, and struggling to fight the flow will only serve to drive you batty. Give up control of the wheel, Virgo, and let the universe drive.

One area of life that can go swimmingly now is networking. With lucky Jupiter powering forward in your synergistic third house on July 10 and an opportune Cancer solar eclipse igniting your groups sector on July 12, some vibrant and helpful people will enter your sphere. Get out and share your ideas with kindred spirits and interested supporters. The right people could clamor to collaborate. And while you’ll want to pick those players wisely—especially after Mercury turns retrograde on July 26—it’s a great month to take applications and vet all interested supporters.

Caution: Anything you launch is meant to be a joint effort, so if someone seems bent on making it all about them, steer clear. On the flip side, if you happen to be the creative force or “star” of this project, don’t be SO democratic that you give away undue credit. You deserve to see your name in lights for all your hard work!

Key Dates

July 12: Sun-Pluto Opposition Don’t provoke someone just to get a reaction out of them. That’s a recipe for a major disaster, and you don’t have time for games like that. If you’re not happy with the way your interaction is going today, table discussions for another time.

Love Days: 25, 30 Money Days: 10, 18 Luck Days: 8, 16 Off Days: 6, 14, 27

#virgo #monthly forecast #horoscope #horoscopes #astrology #virgo monthly

37 notes · View notes

gabevic · 7 years ago

Text

HEY HIVESWAPS READ THIS YOU FUCKS ITS AB TROLL SHIT

The problem is that when the subject of troll romance is broached, our sparing human intellects instantly assume the most ingratiating posture of surrender imaginable. But we will do our best to understand regardless. Humans have only one form of romance. And though we consider it a complicated subject, spanning a wide range of emotions, social conventions, and implications for reproduction, it is ultimately a superficial slice of what trolls consider the full body of romantic experience. Our concept of romance, in spite of its capacity to fill our art and literature and to rule our individual destinies like little else, is still just that. A single, linear concept. A concept usually denoted by a single symbol. <3 Troll romance is more complicated than that. Troll romance needs four symbols. Their understanding of romance is divided into halves, and halved again, producing four quadrants: the FLUSHED QUADRANT, the CALIGINOUS QUADRANT, the PALE QUADRANT, and the ASHEN QUADRANT. Each quadrant is grouped by the half they share, whether horizontally or vertically, depending on the overlapping properties one examines. The sharpest dichotomy, from an emotional perspective, is drawn between RED ROMANCE and BLACK ROMANCE. RED ROMANCE, comprised of the flushed and pale quadrants, is a form of romance rooted in strongly positive emotions. BLACK ROMANCE, with its caliginous and ashen quadrants, is rooted in the strongly negative. On the other hand, the vertical bifurcation has to do with the purpose of the relationship, regardless of the emotions behind it. Those quadrants which are CONCUPISCENT, the flushed and caliginous, have to do with facilitating the elaborate reproductive cycle of trolls. Those which are CONCILIATORY, the pale and ashen, would be more closely likened to platonic relationships by human standards. There are many parallels between human relationships and the various facets of troll romance. Humans have words to describe relationships of a negative nature, or of a platonic nature. The difference is, for humans, those relationships would never be conceptually grouped with romance. Establishing those sort of relationships for humans is not driven by the same primal forces that drive our tendency to couple romantically. But for trolls, those primal forces involve themselves in the full palette of these relationships, red or black, torrid or friendly. Trolls typically feel strongly compelled to find balance in each quadrant, and seek gratifying relationships that each describes. The challenge is particularly tortuous for young trolls, who must reconcile the wide range of contradictory emotions associated with this matrix, while understanding the nature of their various romantic urges for the first time. Of course, young humans have this challenge too. But for trolls, the challenge is fourfold. When two individuals find themselves in the flushed quadrant together, they are said to be MATESPRITS. Matespritship is the closest parallel to the human concept of romance trolls have. It plays a role in the trolls' reproductive cycle, just as it does for humans. This is pretty obvious! Not much more needs to be said about this. Moving right along. When a pair of adversaries delve into this quadrant, they become each other's KISMESIS. As one of the concupiscent quadrants, it plays a role in procreation as well. There is no particularly good human translation for this concept. The closest would be an especially potent arch-rivalry. For instance, human players would never be able to adequately diagnose the relationship between the queen and her archagent. But troll players could immediately place it as a dead ringer for kismesissitude. They would think we were all pretty stupid for not getting it. And they would be right. Trolls have a complicated reproductive cycle. It's probably best not to examine it in much detail. The need to seek out concupiscent partners comes with more urgency than typical reproductive instincts. When the IMPERIAL DRONE comes knocking, you had better be able to supply genetic material to each of his FILIAL PAILS. If you have nothing to offer, he will kill you without hesitation. The genetic material - WITHOUT GOING INTO MUCH DETAIL - is a combinative genetic mix from the matesprit and kismesis pairs, respectively. The pails are all offered to the mother grub, who can only receive such precombined material. She then combines all of it into one incestuous slurry, and begins her brooding. This doesn't mean the initial combination was for naught, however. In the slurry, more dominant genes rise to the fore, while the more recessive find less representation in the brood. Especially strong matesprit and kismesis pairings yield more dominant genetic material. The more powerful the complement or potent the rivalry, the more dominant the genes. TROLL REPRODUCTION SURE IS WEIRD. We all take a moment to lament how pedestrian the human reproductive system is, and further lament that the phrase "incestuous slurry" is not a feature of common parlance in human civilization. This quadrant involves a particular type of three-way relationship of a black romantic nature. Falling on the conciliatory side, it has no bearing on the reproductive cycle, except for indirect ramifications. When two trolls are locked in a feud or some otherwise contentious relationship, one can intervene and become their AUSPISTICE. The auspistice mediates between the two, playing the role of a peace keeper, preventing the feud from boiling over into a fully caliginous rivalry. Since such lesser feuds are quite common among trolls, there is a significant need for auspisticing parties. Without them, too many ashen feuds would become caliginous, and begin to conflict with other exclusive kismesis relationships, leading to a great deal of social complexity and sore feelings (even more so than black romance usually involves). Without auspisticism, the result would be widespread black infidelity. The relationships each quadrant describes tend to be malleable, if not volatile, especially on the concupiscent half where more torrid emotions reside. It doesn't take much to flip a switch and transmute blackrom feelings to redrom, and vice versa. In many cases, one party will have red feelings while the other has black. But it will often be the case that one party's feelings will swap to match the other's, since there is no quadrant which naturally accommodates such a disparity. But thereafter, it's not uncommon for the two to toggle between red and black in unison now and then. These scenarios naturally result in both red and black infidelities. This sort of relationship volatility is why conciliatory relationships are an important part of troll romance. An auspistice can stabilize particularly turbulent relationships. If the auspistice fails to mediate properly, or has no interest in the role, or perhaps has different romantic intentions him/herself altogether, then the relationship often quickly deteriorates into one of an especially hostile and torrid nature. There are many outside factors and influences tugging and pulling these relationships in different directions, and unlike humans who have very orderly, simple, straightforward romantic relationships without exception, trolls exist in a state of almost perpetual confusion and generally have no idea what the hell is going on. Being confused by troll relationships is one thing we do have in common though. This quadrant presides over MOIRALLEGIENCE, the other conciliatory relationship. A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose. Trolls are a very angry and violent race. Some are more hot-tempered and dangerous than others, to the extent that if left to their own devices, they would present a serious threat to society, or even to themselves. Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll, who may become their MOIRAIL. The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful. It's often ambiguous especially among young trolls whether a bond formed between an acquaintance is true moirallegence, or the usual variety of platonic involvement. Furthermore, romantic intentions of a more flushed nature can often be mistaken for paler leanings, much to the frustration of the suitor. But some pale pairings, as the one above, will be strikingly obvious to all who know them. God you just can't get enough of this can you! That would have been a great point for a transition out of this illustrated sociological study, but ok, if you insist. Now see, what's going on here is... It's perfectly simple. When the full matrix of troll romance is in action, we have... uh... Hey, why don't you figure it out! You should be an expert on all this by now anyway. Later our troll hero would try to explain this to our human hero, attempting to convey all the nuance of troll romance through a nearly verbatim recitation of the preceding excerpts. He would try to describe how rich and textured the troll romantic comedies were compared to the one dimensional schlock of our human cinematic counterparts. He would barely scratch the surface of Troll Will Smith's virtuosity with the delicate lattice of troll romance, as he would assist the bumbling fudgeblooded Troll Kevin James through the interwoven minefield-briarpatch of redrom and blackrom entanglements, all the while sifting through his own prickly romantic situation and ultimately learning the true meaning of hate and pity. But would they succeed before the imperial drone came knocking with his thirsty pails at the ready??? Yes, they would. But John didn't understand any of this because he's a moron, and he wouldn't shut up about his awful bullshit Earth movies. He would just go on and on and on about that garbage. But if there was one theme to be hammered through his thick skull, it would be the trolls' cultural preoccupation with romantic destiny. Yes, the romantic landscape is rife with false starts and miscues and infidelities, red and black. But every troll believes strongly that each quadrant holds one and only one true pairing for them, and it is just a matter of time before the grid is filled with auspicious matchups through the mysterious channels of TROLL SERENDIPITY. In short, their belief is that for each quadrant there exists a pair or triad of trolls somewhere in the cosmos that were... MADE FOR EACH OTHER.

#Andrew hussie #homestuck #hiveswap #troll romance #karkat would be proud #moiral #moirallegiance #homeswap #hivestuck

100 notes · View notes

isroselalondebisexual · 7 years ago

Note

Oh no, I didn't mean to give you the idea that I ship Karkat and Kanaya romantically! I said they were moirials, as I assumed it wasn't a romantic quadrant? Since Dave and Rose are tagged as moriails, and JohnRoseMary is also a thing on this blog...

OKAY SO story time!

I understand my interpretation of moirallegience might be a little uncommon amongst the fandom, so allow me to explain!

For TROLLS, the four quadrants of romance are explicitly romantic. To Kanaya, a troll, pale and ash are romantic endeavors, which is why all her attempts at auspisticism fell through! She’s a girl who VERY CLEARLY wants a relationship, specifically in ash, and she’s practically made for the quadrant, but all her relationships in ash were short lived (if acted on at all), lackluster, and shallow. That’s because they all involved boys, and she cannot experience romantic attraction to boys! Compulsory hetero (or, in the case of trolls, pan) sexuality and all that.

Because Kanaya is an ALIEN who is NOT A HUMAN, her brain chemistry and social structure and romantic endeavors are intrinsically different from humans! What, to us, looks like a “platonic” relationship is, to her, a deeply important part of her romantic life.

MEANWHILE

For HUMANS, only two of the four quadrants of alien romance would be considered romantic! Humans would consider pale and ashen quads to be, to quote the comic itself, “more platonic” in nature, and would use the term moirail as a shorthand. “This person is someone I value dearly and entrust to my darkest secrets, my lowest lows, and the vulnerabilities I keep hidden from the public face” is a mouthful, whereas “moirail” sums it up quite nicely. A non-sexual relationship that has strong emotional depth, but by human standards would not be considered romantic.

So there’s a disconnect! Rose, a human, calls Dave her moirail, and Dirk, a gay human, calls Roxy his, but there’s no actual ROMANCE happening there, because moirail is an alien term and alien concepts cannot be fully translated, especially when superimposed onto human culture. Kanaya, a troll, wouldn’t date a boy in pale, because to her that WOULD be dating, and since she’s a lesbian she cannot form romantic ties to boys!

So there’s a lot of xenocultural stuff going on, but tbeh I feel like the HS characters would settle that affair pretty quickly because humans DO have very SIMILAR concepts to moirallegience and auspisticism, just not IDENTICAL concepts. Sorta like how humans don’t really have kismesitude as a regular part of our culture, but if you’ve ever met a Drarry shipper or a ZADR shipper, you know we abso-fucking-lutely do have the concept, we just lack a convenient label like what trolls have.

Anyway that’s kinda long but I have so!!! Many!!! Thoughts!!! About xenoculturalism!

Also John and Kanaya are in no way dating basically ever lmao. When I ship JohnRoseMary it is as a decided V, wherein Rose is the connecting point and John and Kanaya are just buddies :D

#answers #Homestuck #trolls #xenobiology #xenoculturalism

14 notes · View notes

gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 8 years ago

Photo

> Oh mah god. Drop it like its hot.

Tha problem be that when tha subject of trizzoll rizzle be broachizzle, our sparing human intellects instantly assume tha most ingratiat'n posture of killa imaginable.

But we will do our best ta understand regardless. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin.

Humans have only one form of romance cuz this is how we do it. N tizzy we consida it a complicizzle subject, spann'n a wizzy range of emotions, social conventions, n implications fo` reproduction, it be ultimately a superficizzle slizzice of what T-R-to-tha-izzolls poser tha fizzle bodizzle of romantic experience. Our concizzle of romance, 'n spite of its capacitizzle ta fizzle our art n literature n ta rule our indizzle destinies lizzy shawty elze, be still J-to-tha-izzust thizzat upside yo head. A single, linizzle concept n shit. A concept usually denoted by a single symbol.

Troll romance be more complizzle than tizzy. Troll romance nizzy four symbols.

Thizzle understand'n of romizzle be divided into halves, n halved again, produc'n four qizzles: tha FLUSHIZZLE QUADRANT, tha CALIGINOUS QUADRANT, tha PALE QUADRANT, n tha ASHEN QUADRANT.

Each quadrant be grouped by the hizzay thizney share, whetha horizontally or vertically, depend'n on tha overlapp'n properties one examines so sit back relax new jacks get smacked. Tha sharpest dichotomy, from an emotional perspective, be drizzawn between RED ROMANCE n BLIZZAY ROMANCE.

RED ROMANCE, comprize' of tha flushed n pale quadrants, be a form of rizzle rooted 'n stronglizzle positive emotions. BLACK ROMANCE, wit its caliginous n ashen quadrants, be rooted 'n tha stronglizzle negative.

On tha crazy ass nigga hand, tha vertical bifurcation hizzas ta do wit tha purpose of tha relationship, regardless of tha emotions behind it. Thoze quadrants which be CONCUPISCENT, tha flushed n caliginous, have to do wit crack-a-lackin` tha elaborate reproductive cycle of trolls. Thoze which be CONCILIATORY, tha pizzale n izzle, would be more closely likened ta platonic relationships by humizzle standards.

Thizzay be many parallels between humizzle relizzles n tha various facets of trizzle rizzle. Humans have wizzords ta describe relizzles of a negatizzle nizzle, or of a platonic natizzle like a motha fucka. Tha difference is, fo` humizzles, thoze relationships wiznould neva be conceptually grouped wit romance. Establish'n thoze sizzort of relizzles fo` humans be nizzy driven by tha same primal forces that drive our tendency ta couple romanticizzle. But fo` trolls, thoze primal forces involve themsizzles 'n tha fizzle palette of theze relationships, red or black, torrid or friendlizzle. Trolls typically fizzay strizzle compellizzle ta find balance 'n each quadrant, n seek gratify'n relationships that each describes.

The challizzle be particularly tortuous fo` young trolls, who mizzy recizzle tha wide riznange of contradictory emotions associated wit dis matrix, while understand'n tha nature of they various romantic urges fo` tha fiznirst time.

Of courze, young humans hizzay tizzy challenge tizzay. But fo` trolls, tha chizzle be fourfold. Nigga get shut up or get wet up.

Wizzy twizzo individuals find themselves 'n tha flushed quadrant togetha, they be sizzle ta be MATESPRITS. Matespritship be tha closest parallizzle ta tha human concept of romance trizzle have from tha streets of tha L-B-C. It plays a R-to-tha-izzole in tha trolls' reproductive cycle, just as it dizzle fo` humans.

Dis be pretty obvious! Nizzy much more nizzeeds to be said 'bout dis. Mov'n rizzy alizzle.

When a pizzay of adversaries delve into dis quadrant, tizzy become each otha KISMESIS. As one of tha concupiscent quadrants, it pliznays a role 'n procrizzle as well and yo momma. There be no particularly giznood human translation fo` dis concept. Tha closizzle wizzy be an especially potent arch-rizzle. Nigga get shut up or get wet up.

Fo` instance, human playas would neva be able ta adequately diagnoze tha relationship betwizzle tha queen n ha archagent. Biznut troll playas cizzle immediately place it as a dizzle ringa fo` kismesissitude so sit back relax new jacks get smacked. They wizzy think we were all pretty stupizzle fo` nizzay getting it. Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. N they wizzy be right. I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon.

Trolls hiznave a complicated reproductive cyclizzay with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back It probizzle biznest nizzle ta examine it in much detail cuz its a pimp thang.

Tha nee' ta seek out concupiscent partners comes wit more urgencizzle than typical reprizzle instincts. When tha IMPERIZZLE D-R-TO-THA-IZZONE cizzles doggy stylin', you hizzle bitch be able ta supply genetic material ta each of his FILIAL PAILS. If yizzle have nuttin ta gangsta, he wiznill kill you witout hesitation.

Tha genetic matizzle - WITOUT RIDIN' INTO MUCH DETIZZLE - be a combinative genetic mix from tha matesprit n kismesis pairs, respectivizzle. Tha P-to-tha-izzails be all offered to tha motha grizzay, who can onlizzle receive such precombined material. She then combines all of it into one incestuous slurry, n begins ha ballin' with the S-N-double-O-P.

Dis D-to-tha-izzoesn't mizzay tha initial combination wizzy fo` naught, howeva and yo momma. 'n tha slurry, miznore dominant genes rize ta tha fore, while tha more recessive find less representation 'n tha brood ya feelin' me? Especially sizzy matesprit n kismesis spendin' yield more domizzle genizzle material. I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. Tha more powerful tha complement or potizzle tha rivalry, tha mizzay dominant tha genes.

TROLL REPRODUCTION SURE BE WEIRD. We all takes a mizzle to lament how pedestrian the human reproductive system be, n furtha lament that tha phrizzase "incestuous slizzle" be not a feature of commizzle parlance 'n human civilization puttin tha smack down.

Dis quadrant invizzles a particular type of three-way relationship of a black romizzle natizzle. Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. Dippin' on tha conciliatory sizzide, it has no bear'n on tha reprizzle cizzy, izzle fo` indirect ramifications.

When twizzle tizzy are locked 'n a feud or sizzome otherwize contentious relationship, one cizzy intervene n become they AUSPISTICE. Tha auspistizzle mediates between tha twizno, mobbin' tha R-to-tha-izzole of a pizzle keepa, prevent'n tha feud from boil'n hustla into a fully calizzles rivalry.

Sizzay such lessa F-to-tha-izzeuds be quite common amizzle tizzy, there be a significant nee' fo` auspistic'n parties. Witout them, tizzoo many izzle fizneuds would bizzle caliginous, n begin to conflict wizzy otha exclusive kismesis relationships, lead'n ta a bootylicious deal of social complexity n sore doggy stylin' (izzle more so T-H-to-tha-izzan blizzay romance usually invizzles). Witout auspistizzle, tha result would be widizzle bizzy infidizzle.

Tha relationships each quadrant describes tend ta be mallizzle, if not volatile, especially on tha concupiscent half where M-to-tha-izzore torrid emotions reside. It doesn't takes much ta flizzle a switch n transmute blizzle feel'n ta redrom, n vizzay viznersa.

'n many cazes, one pizzle will have rizzy doggy stylin' whizzile tha otha has black cuz its a pimp thang. But it wizzay often be tha caze thizzay one party feel'n will swap ta M-to-tha-izzatch tha otha, since thizzere is no quadrant which natizzle accommodates such a dispizzle. Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. But thereaftizzle, it nizzay uncommon fo` tha two ta toggle betwizzle red n B-L-to-tha-izzack 'n unison now n then. Theze scenarios naturally result 'n bizzay red n black infidelities.

Dis sort of relationship volatility be why conciliatory relationships be an important pizzay of troll rizzle.

An auspistice can stabilize particulizzle turbulent relatizzles. If tha auspistice fizzay ta mizzle properly, or hizzy no interest in the role, or perhaps has diffizzle romantic intentions him/herself bitch, tizzy tha relationship often quickly deteriorates into one of an espizzle hostile and torrid nizzle. There be many outside factors n inflizzles tugg'n and pull'n theze relationships 'n differizzle directions, n unlike humans who have very orderly, sizzay, straightforward romizzle relationships witout exception, trolls exist 'n a state of almost perpizzle confusion n generally hizzle no idizzle whiznat tha hell be go'n on.

Bein confuze' by triznoll relatizzles be one clockin' we do H-to-tha-izzave in common though.

Dis quadrant presidizzles brotha MOIRALLEGIENCE, tha otha conciliatory relationship like a tru playa'. A reasizzle human translation W-to-tha-izzould be tha concizzle of a soul mate, but 'n a mizzle platonic senze, n witta miznore specizzle social purpoze.

Trolls be a very angry n violent rizzace. Some be more hot-tempered n dangerous thiznan otha, to tha extent thizzle if lizzeft ta their own devices, they would prizzle a serious thrizzay ta societizzle, or evizzle ta themselves. Such trizzle will hiznave an instinctive pizzale attraction ta a more even-tempered troll, who may becizzle they MOIRAIL. Tha moirizzle be oblige' ta pacify tha otha, ta function as tha gangsta half. Tha two pizzles 'n a strizzle pale relationship will siznerve ta balance n complement each otha emotional profilizzles, n thus izzle they playa relationships ta be M-to-tha-izzore successful.

It often ambiguous espizzle among young trizzay whetha a bond formed between an acquaintance be true moirallegence, or tha usual variety of platizzle involvement. Furthermore, romantic intentions of a more flushed nature can often be mistaken fo` rappa dippin', much ta tha frustration of tha suitor. Anotha dogg house production.

But some piznale pair'n, as tha one above, will be strikingly obvizzles to all whizzle knizzow them.

God you jizzle can't git izzle of dis can you! T-H-to-tha-izzat wiznould have bizzeen a bootylicious point fo` a transition out of dis illustrated sociological study, but ok, if yizzy insist.

Now see, what saggin' on here be... Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

It perfectly simple but real niggaz don't give a fuck. W-H-to-tha-izzen tha full matrix of troll romance be 'n action, we have... uh... Im crazy, you can't phase me.

Hey, why diznon't you figure it out! You should be an expert on all dis by now izzle.

Lata our troll hero wizzay try ta explain dis ta our human hero, attempt'n ta convey all tha nuance of trizzay romance through a nearly verbatim recitation of tha preced'n excerpts, niggaz, better recognize.

He would tizzy ta dizzle hizzle rizzy n texturizzle tha tizzy romantic comedies wiznere compared ta tha one dimensional schlock of oizzy human cinematic counterparts. Im crazy, you can't phase me. He would barizzle scratch tha surface of Troll Wiznill Smith virtuositizzle wit tha delicate lattice of troll romance, as he W-to-tha-izzould assist tha cruisin' fudgeblooded Trizzoll Kizzle Jamizzles through tha interwoven minefield-brizzle of redrom n blackrom entanglemizzles, all tha while sift'n through his own prickly romantic situation n ultimately learn'n tha T-R-to-tha-izzue mean'n of hate n pizzle. Biznut would they succee' befizzle tha imperial drone came knock'n wit his thirstizzle pails at tha ready??? Yes, they wizzould.

But Jizzy didn't understand any of thizzay because he a moron, and he wizzay shizzut up about hizzay awful bullshit Earth movies. He wizzould just go on n on n on 'bout tizzy garbage.

But if thizzay wizzay one theme ta be hammered through hizzis T-H-to-tha-izzick skizzull, it would be tha trolls' cultural preoccupation wit romantic destinizzle paper'd up. Yizzay, tha romantic lizzle be rizzle wit falze S-T-to-tha-izzarts n miscizzles n infidelities, red n blizzay but real niggaz don't give a fuck. But everizzle troll believes strongly that each quadrant holds one n only one true pair'n fo` them, n it be jizzay a motherfucka of time before tha grizzay be filled wit auspicious matchups T-H-R-to-tha-izzough tha mysterious channels of TROLL SERENDIPITY.

'n short, they belief be thizzle fo` each quadrant there exists a pair or trizniad of trizzolls somewhizzle 'n tha cosmos thizzay wiznere...

MIZZAY FO` EACH OTHER.

> Wow now pass the glock.

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #pg2494

1 note · View note