#it's free it's awesome and the person who made it has a ton of other great effect brushes too

[seesboy]

okay so this started off as vent art but then i ended up really liking it so i decided to get silly with the background and effects and stuff.. anyways woe my sona be upon ye

[bunnys-kisses]

Hi! Could I please ask for: mille-feuille + s'more + croissant + champagne + mai tai + tonic water... served by Carlos Sainz Jr for Toto Wolff's daughter? Btw, your writing is amazing, Bunny!

bakery menu!

want to submit your own order? hit up the menu, i'd love to hear from you. i am working on a ton of awesome things so please, feel free! thank you so much for everything that has been sent to me! and thank you to this lovely person for submitting an order! i love that you picked wolff!reader, something about that trope just gets to me every time, haha.

mille-feuille: “that’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.” + s'more: "The accent gets to you, doesn't it?" + croissant: "i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me." + champagne: sugar daddy situation + mai tai: loss of virginity + tonic water: age gap served by carlos sainz jr. (formula one)!!

cw: smut/pwp, wolff!reader, sugar daddy au, age gap (20/30), virgin!reader, loss of virginity, cowgirl position

toto wolff should've known. he prided himself on being a smart man, who was proactive with his career and always stayed on the ball. but formula one blinded him to the activities of his daughter. toto thought having you play assistant over the summer break would teach you a thing or two before you went back to university in the fall.

but you kept ending up in the ferrari garage more often than not.

your father should've also been looking at your bank account a little closer. you didn't work, so why were you making a considerable income? well it didn't come from toto wolff, but rather ferrari's driver, carlos sainz, number fifty-five.

"you don't have to stuff it in my bra like a stripper." you said as you watched him put them down your shirt. you caught a glimpse of a purple euro banknote and felt heat rise in your cheeks. carlos was not a light spender when it came to you.

"i thought you wanted to be covered in money. now i won't do that because it's dirty. but, knowing you'll go back to your father with my money in your pocket... i like the feeling." those big brown eyes stared at you with want.

it wasn't even a power thing, or even a sex thing. carlos liked being around you and maybe part of him enjoyed when you snuck off to the ferrari garage and out of your father's grasp, but besides he enjoyed your company. but tonight you were taking the next step.

you looked up at him from your spot on his hotel bed and asked, "are you trying to butter me up because we're going to have sex?"

he smiled, "there is not buttering up. no butter at all." the slipped the last bill, a crisp hundred, into the strap of our bra under your shirt sleeve. then patted your breast playfully.

you chuckled, "right." you two had been intimate in other ways. he had fingered you and ate you out. you gave him handjobs and sucked his cock. you've just never had penetrative sex. you were technically a virgin. which at first shocked carlos. but then he remembered who your father was. toto wolff wasn't letting his daughter go out clubbing in monaco, hence why you were in university in france. and even then, the team principal kept a keen eye out for you.

but tonight, you were all carlos'. so when you took your shirt off and exposed the bills in your bra. it made carlos smile. he was taking wolff's daughter's virginity. he showered you in affection and praise.

“that’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.” he praised which made you shiver. his hands on your breasts as he groped them over your bra and the money. he could understand why toto was so protective of you.

"please, carlos."

he chuckled as he got you fully onto the bed before he took your bra off and admired your bare breasts. he grabbed the money off your heated chest, sweat making the bills cling to you. he placed it all on the nightstand for you to take home. made you look like a whore. but you were the furthest thing from that. you were carlos' lover. he admired you, "you're so beautiful. can't believe an old man like toto wolff had a hand in making something so pretty."

"carlos." you flushed.

he remarked, "the accent gets to you, doesn't it?" he got onto the bed with you and got you out of your pants. he admired your almost nude form, in just thin cotton panties. you watched him get undressed, his toned body revealed to you as he asked, "i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me."

carlos was almost ten years older than you, raced for a rival team and above all else would never meet the standards your father had for a man that could be with you. not that you cared about what your father thought, you were an adult who could make your own choices.

you remarked, "i don't care if he knows. he needs to lose the grip on me. i'm almost done schooling, i have to live my life. and that's with you." you smiled a little when carlos got onto bed beside you. yu stroked his face lovingly.

"am i in that life?" he asked as he reached and stroked your hip lovingly.

"of course, where else would you be?" you asked as you cupped his face. you trailed your thumb across the side of his nose. you had to admit, you really liked his nose.

he smiled, "six feet under when your father finds out." his eyes went a little wide when you straddled his waist and splayed your fingers across his chest, "do you want me dead, beautiful?"

you laughed, "yes, i want my boyfriend dead." as you rubbed yourself up against his cock. you felt a smile pull at your lips as you braced yourself against him, "i want him six feet under in a pine box."

"well." he mused as he took you by the hips, "maybe to die by your hand would be worth it." then tensed up when you sank down on his cock. he shuddered a little and felt the pleasure bloom in his body. that felt good.

"like this?" you asked. you had ridden his thigh before. and you told him earlier that the only way you'd lose your virginity to him was if you had the control (sometimes you were painfully like your father).

carlos nodded almost dumbly as he held onto you tightly, "perfect. now you move as you like, this is about you." wasn't he just the sweetest? as if he wasn't taking the virginity of the daughter of a rival team principal.

you held onto his strong shoulders and moves your hips a little bit. you smiled down at him, especially when the pleasure made his expression changed. he looked handsome even when the pleasure made the heat bloom in his face, down his neck.

"fuck, honey." he said softly, "i know why wolff made sure you went to school far, far away from the paddock."

you leaned in and pushed hair out of your face before you kissed him on the lips, "i'm pretty sure if we met any sooner, you'd be next to a cradle robber. wouldn't look nice in the press." you could feel the blush high in your cheeks as you rode him. you could feel the pleasure down to your feet as you really worked his cock.

"i would've made sure that no one else could have you."

you smiled, "don't worry, you're the only one i've ever been with. at least this way." you rolled your hips, picking up momentum. the pace was a little messy, but carlos didn't mind.

he didn't mind at all, anything to make you happy. he held onto you and felt the heat rise further in his face. the blush almost stung. your cunt felt like euphoria, you were perfect. he said, "if i could give you my virginity, i would." he smiled at you, blush high in his cheeks.

you smacked his chest playfully, "ah, you flirt. it's a stupid construct anyway. but, if it's anything." you moved a little faster, "i would've happily taken your virginity."

he chuckled and smacked your ass, "i knew you were going to say that." and then took you by the face with one hand and pressed hot kisses against your heated face. you moaned a little bit as you continued to ride him.

the pleasure soon became overwhelming for the both of you. you moaned a little louder, your back arched a little further and the kissed became heavier. the pleasure was felt between you two are you really worked your hips against him. you held onto him tightly and grit your teeth as you rode him. the pleasure throbbed in your brain as with a few more quick thrusts you finished, which made you moan loudly and tense up.

you kissed him while he held onto your hips. he worked your cock in the areas that made you squirm further. it was painfully hot for the both of you, the two of you made out deeply as his hands gripped you tightly. he yearned for your closeness and it didn't take long before his thrusts became harder and faster, and with that he came inside of you as he pressed a hot kiss against your lips.

you both slowed to a stop and the kisses continued. you ended up on your back with him on top of you. his cock hard once more and right up against your soaked cunt.

"i don't think your father would mind if you went back to your hotel a little late?" he suggested, his hands braced on either side of you. his smile was intoxicating.

you reached up to him, like you were reaching for the sun and pulled your lover close. you kissed him on the lips then said, "i guess. but you better make me finish first." and carlos just beamed at you <3

[mikuni14]

Century of Love - Ep 10 Finale

This will be a general summary of the series.

Overall, I really liked Century of Love, except for most of the last 3 episodes, which unfortunately exceeded my tolerance for the soap opera genre, which is high, but also has its limits 😄 There was also too much crying, I don't like watching it and there's nothing I can do about it..

The plot also seemd a bit dull, replaced by an excess of expressive feelings.

And that's all the criticism, apart from that the series met my expectations 😉

DaouOffroad proved that they are one of the best couples in the BL industry, their natural chemistry has been maintained since LiT and they carried this story, this romance, and made the love believable. Apart from that, they are simply incredibly attractive and watching them is a real pleasure

Daou as a 100-year-old man was totally believable, conveying this specific vibe of older, grumpy guys. He was just as convincing when he cried, writhed in pain, as he was totally in love with Vee and discovered the joy of sex 😏

Offroad as a slightly broken young man struggling with adversity, poverty, his grandmother's illness, loneliness, who still retains his kindness and optimism was also very convincing and wonderful. It was obvious that San would fall in love with him, who wouldn't

special mention to Chibi San, what a kid 💯

the other characters (San's family, Tao, Ton and Third) were really nice, I especially liked how supportive they were of San and Vee and their genuine devotion to them. It's also good that they didn't make Third a jealous villain

Ju is one of the most wonderful girls I've ever seen in any production, EVER, but then again I just love the vibe of the Gen Alpha girls, so no surprise that she was my fav 💖

the humor, lightness, funniness, camp of this series was really good

I'm absolutely delighted that the series overall ignored the reincarnation issue and went in the direction I wanted, which was San falling in love with a specific person and when he made a choice, he didn't look back. And Vee was just Vee, no Vad in him, in his memories, his personality. San, Vee and Vad were all DIFFERENT PEOPLE

I like that the series showed that you can fall madly in love once. And then you can fall madly in love a second time.

I liked that when San fell in love with Vee, neither he nor the series introduced any drama with the "choice" between Vee and Vad. San only had Vee in his heart and only wanted him. 10/10, no bullshit, only true love

San and Vee stayed in character until the end. San "nobly and chivalrously" wanted to spare his beloved pain, Vee of course thought that it was all his fault and San was avoiding him because he didn't want to see him. Was San's behavior irritating? Of course, but just as it normally annoys me, here it surprisingly suited San, BESIDES the series showed that this was the wrong approach with Third's words and resolved it without stupid scenes and unnecessary drama and fight. Likewise, their reconciliation was very delicate and kind, as they are

San and Vee barely holding it all together, their last night together - it was very beautiful and moving. Such beauty, raw emotions, despair and nobility are rarely shown in BL series, but it also works best in costume series and soap operas. I also liked how they spent the last night showing that physical contact is not just sex, that it is something important in a relationship and is used to convey feelings

we got a happy ending and their nice scenes together, when they are happy and free

I can only hope that Daou and Offroad will get the opportunity to star in a well-written and directed series in a nice atmosphere on the set, and that we will see more of Pond and the actress playing Juu and her sweet face 💖

Thank you all for the nice time spent together experiencing this lovely i fun series and the awesomeness of DaouOffroad 💖💖💖💖💖💖 See you soon in their next project!

[bridgerteon]

Although I'm a multi shipper, I wanna join Polin Week as tribute and support. And I think I'm late for favourite show quote. :)))

[I can't make gifs (I don't know how to), write fanfics (I'm a horrible storyteller) nor create mood boards (I'm more of an analytical person than creative, since I'm a STEM person). Instead I would provide an essay as I'm pretty good at it.]

My favourite from Penelope is from The Choice (Season 2 Ep 6) when she chats with Colin about purposes:

"I am certain you will find your purpose one day. Everyone must eventually... [About her own purpose] Of course not. But I imagine it to be something both animating and satisfying. The type of venture that speaks to not who I am but rather who I am to be. My purpose will challenge me to be brave and witty. My purpose will propel me far beyond the watchful glare of my mama. My purpose shall set me free."

It explains that everyone has a purpose, even for women in a regency era. Though she is technically Lady Whistledown, she wants to have her own goals in life and wants to achieve it by herself. Fortunately she does in the end. She presents herself to the whole Ton that she is Lady Whistledown and that she wants them to know how awesome she is. This actually makes me feel so proud of her for her journey from meek to confident. I also evoke with her as I also share the same sentiment.

As for Colin, my favourite quote from him is short, but made my heart break for him. It's in Joining of Hands (Season 3 ep 7):

"Then what good am I to you?!"

It displays his vulnerability. It displays his self-doubt and thinking pessimistically how anyone could ever love him. Just him, as a emotionally intelligent, soft, and caring person. From the beginning Colin wants to be taken seriously or want others to see him for who he truly is. But ever since Marina's Deceptive Engagement Scandal and his Boring Travel Stories, no one ever respects or listens to him, except for Violet and Penelope.

Penelope is the one who sees and loves him as he is, and she doesn't want him to change. But ever since she is LW, he is spiralling in self-doubts and lack of self-esteem. He realises that Penelope has a purpose, she knows who she is, and knows what she wants (link back with Pen's quote above), while he doesn't. He thinks that out of all the men in the Ton, why him? Why does she choose him? As a pawn like Marina? Payback for kicking Lord Debling out? Out of spite? What does she see in him worth loving? Would Pen ever take him seriously? Would she ever be his partner? Would she ever love him?

Luckily Penelope helps alleviate his doubts by confessing that she loves him (during the Modiste Bitch Off), and that she tells the Ton that she is LW. She is doing it because Pen loves Colin and his family. She is doing it out of love. She doesn't want to keep secrets anymore and is free to be with him proudly. Now he realises that she loves him unconditionally and without judgement, hence his love confession. It makes me feel so elated that Colin has finally found a partner, where both will love and support each other in anything.

Overall, I love the journey of friends-to-lovers in Polin. It does give me the satisfaction that they are FINALLY TOGETHER! I'm excited to see their new journey together as a married writer couple. :))

[artoatsblog]

What your favorite Nick toon says about you but it's EVERY Nick toon

Doug- When you were asked what you wanted for Christmas, you said "plan white bread."

Rugrats- You're a "90's kid" who wants the modern cartoon enjoyers to get off your lawn.

Hey Arnold-Same as Rugrats, but 5 time worse.

Rugrats (2021)- You only said this one to piss off the above two.

Ren & Stimpy- You're a gay man and all you OCs are ugly men who you need to kiss each other or else you'll die (This isn't an insult, you're the strongest member of our society.)

Rocko's modern life- You relate to at least one character way more than you would like to admit to others.

CatDog- Weird furry.

The angry beavers- Weird furry with taste.

Aaahh!!! Real monsters- You like the idea of Tim Burton's movies but your too cool to actually enjoy them, also your probably non-binary.

Kablam- As a kid you wanted to make something with this exact energy and now, you're a youtuber.

Oh Yeah! Cartoons- same as Kablam but you really miss Cosmo's old voice.

The wild Thornberry's- You worship the ground Tim Curry's walks on SO BAD.

Rocket power- Honest 90's kid.

SpongeBob SquarePants seasons 1-4- You're annoying about seasons 5+.

SpongeBob SquarePants seasons 5+- You know better than me about those people being annoying about seasons 5+.

As told by ginger- You were going to say Hey Arnold, but you didn't want to be lumped in with certain other people.

Action league now- You made at least five short films that look exactly like this.

Chalkzone- Your playlist for working out has the theme song for this show looped for five hours and nothing else.

The fairly oddparents- Your trans, and you hate no other person more than Elmer Hartman.

Invader Zim- You were a vary emo kid/teenager in the late 2000's (same, no shade)

Jimmy Neutron- you're really glad that that you picked the show in "Jimmy Timmy power hour" that wasn't made by an asshole.

All grown up- Come on guys "As told by ginger" is right there.

Avatar: the last airbender- I don't want to hear the lore of the fantasy book you wrote.

Avatar: the legend of Korra- Same as atla but You also made a LOT of shipping fanfics.

My life as a teenage robot- Transfem.

The X's- You don't exist, if you're going to go into the comments and say this is your favorite Nicktoon, you're lying.

El Tigre- This is just the good version of Danny Phantom.

Danny Phantom- That was a Joke don't yell at me.

Mr. meaty- You want this odd but cool type of puppetry to come back (if you thought I was going to make fun of this one your wrong.)

Tak and the power of Juju- Your enjoyment of this show is based entirely on the fact that you liked the games.

Back at the barnyard- Shitposter.

Fanboy and Chum Chum- Shitposter but awesome.

Catscratch- Yeah, I think Wayne Knight's voice is hot too.

The mighty B- Gay.

The penguins of Madagascar- I don't have a joke for this one I just think you have impactable taste.

Planet Sheen- You always wanted Jimmy Neutron to have more "Rawr XD" swag.

T.U.F.F puppy- You ether are Jerry Trainor, or you have a Jerry Trainor stan account.

Kung fu panda: legends of awesomeness- You have a three-hour lore video on this franchise, and I hope it does well.

Winx club- You wanted to help them get free from Netflix.

Robot and Monster- It may just be me, but I think you might enjoy Dan vs.

Teenage mutant ninja turtles (2012)- You don't like rise of the tmnt.

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles- You don't like tmnt (2012).

Sanjay and Craig- You used to freak other kids out with your scabs.

Monsters vs aliens- You can deny Coverton's rizz (sorry).

Breadwinners- Your about to go into every cartoon reviewers house with a shit ton of water balloons.

Harvey Beaks- In the middle/late 2000's you were more of a cartoon network kid, you loved Cowder.

Pig, Goat, Banana, Cricket- Same as Harvey Beaks but with Flapjack instead of Cowder.

Bunsen is a beast- Your Elmer Hartman.

Welcome to the Wayne- You wrote at least one fanfic for the ending of this show.

The adventures of kid danger- We don't talk about this one.

Middle school Moguls- it's ok monster high is about to come to Nick for real.

The loud house- Your ether a sapphic girl or a straight guy with a DeviantArt account who needs to be punished.

The Casagrandes- Same as the loud house but with the added advantages, because if you have a DeviantArt account in this one you're more likely to have a normal relationship with your family.

It's pony- You don't hate the British as much as the rest of us.

Middlemost post- John trabbic III is such a bad ass name though, wait this show has Del the funky homosapien and Tony Hawk as guest stars, I might need to which this.

Star trek: prodigy- You really like Netflix original animated shows don't you.

Big Nate- You haven't read the books.

Monster high- You the perfect in-between of goth and prep.

Transformers: earthspark- Why does this show have better non-binary rep than most other shows...I mean they are called Transformers for a reason.

[girltigerclaw]

breaking into ur house rn

top ten characters and bottom ten. reasons are optional

I just finished this chart thing i think i actually stole from your blog a few months ago <3 Slightly edited to my own prefs.

If anyone wants the template check the reblogs, and feel free to add you own. I'd love to see. I'm just rambling under here:

Leafpool: She is more special and sacred than the virgin mary. She has everything. Daughter of the first protagonist, ex boyfriend for me to hate, TONS of wlw situationships<3, a lifetime of tragedy, and some of the most gorgeous canon art to exist.

Crookedstar: Crookedstar is a trans woman to me. Her life is genuinely just so tragic and fucked, I love it. The erins asked: “How much truama, death and misfortune can you fit into a single cat?” and then they wrote Crookedstar’s promise.

Tawnypelt: GIRLS WHO HATE THEIR FATHERS. The erins dont love her like I do.

Tallstar: I love old men… I fucking love seeing older characters and how much they’ve changed from their younger selves. Tallstar is considered one of, if not the most peaceful leader in the clans. But also when he was like 19 he went on a quest to fucking murder a guy :3

Cloudstar: I rlly do not care abt anyone in Skyclan(I like Leafstar but she's not a fav yknow?) Cloudstar... he was based as fuck. Why did Starclan get away with this shit for real??

Scourge: It’s fucking Scourge. He’s awesome

Briarlight: I’m disabled and I love her. She has such a consistent fun, sweet personality and she makes me happy!!<3

RavenBarley: It deserves all the attention and hype it gets. Though I wish mlm ships didn’t overshadow wlw ones in this fandom, RavenBarley is genuinely well written and makes me very emotional even if the publisher didnt allow it to be explicitly canon.

CrookedBlue: TRANS WOMEN CROOKEDSTAR YURI. Two leaders having a forbidden relationship and kits is way more interesting than Oakheart. The angst of Crooked and Blue sitting next to eachother every gathering while the entire forest has their eyes on them. Don’t look for too long, don’t let the mourning slip into your voice. You have to pretend your lover is a stranger. You… have become strangers. You can never be together again. You're enemies now. This is what we wanted, isn’t it? …We’ll never be happy again.

Mothwing: Her novella delving into her relationship with Hawkfrost was so good and heartbreaking.

Heathertail: Daughter of leader, sister of a major villian, and former love interest of a protagonist! Why did she fall off the second po3 ended. She’s shown to be very compassionate and willing to put her own feelings aside for the sake of others. Would’ve honestly prefered her as a mate to Lionblaze or get a pov herself over the nothing we got.

Blackstar: *Murders an elderly woman trying to stop me from kidnapping children. Supports a dictator openly abusing/neglecting children and the elderly. Murders a man for refusing to kill mixed raced children- then tells said man’s sister that she will never be safe.* Man…. i sure do feel bad for abusing and killing all of those people…. Good thing I will face no consequences and proceed to be made leader, where I will have even more power over the wellbeing of others.

I hate. This guy.

The New Prophecy: A classic. My first series was actually tnp! i feel more attached to first arc cats tho, if you couldn't already tell by my list lmao

Johanna Map- Best Tawnypelt content out there

BlueQuince: My personal handcrafted, homemade Yuri. Bluefur feels terrible about Tiny going missing and promises Quince she’ll help her find him. They never did, but they had a very… fleeting but intimate relationship. Quince is grieving and Bluefur feels so overwhelmed by the duties in her clan. They’ve always thought of eachother since but never met again.

Tigerclaw: My name sake<3 The angst of his earlier life is so, so facinating to me. Starclan being straight fucked up and decided killing him is their only option? He was a kid and they saw him as a lost cause from the start. They never tried any other methods, never tried to steer him in the right direction or… even just take it into their own hands and kill him themself, which they have SHOWN they’re capable of.

They watched all the the horrific crimes he commited, entirely aware they were going to happen. Thats. Fucking. Horrifying. Starclan is scary as shit… and his death? FANTASTIC. I only wish he’d gotten lives from cats he killed so that him coming back to life to suffer over and over was an actual curse from Starclan and not blessings. They knew how he would die and they gave him the lives to torture him for his sins…

Flywhisker: Adhd girlies. Painfully relate to that feeling of the constant scolding for never being “good enough” because I prefer to do things a certain way or struggle to focus. So, SO happy for her when she left the clans! You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone! Hope she’s happy and warm indoors with her brother💕

(P.S. I was very suprised to find she actually had an official art piece!)

Bluestar: Get behind me women with mental disorders. I will defend you. Beautifully complex and tragic character, my favorite written in the series. Literally can't think of a single other female character in handled as seriously and with the complexity of Bluestar. (Although her super edition was a bit of an L with how others treated her, it ultimately makes her breakdown even more painful.)

Exile from Shaodwclan: Nightstar my beloved! He's such a great guy. The rightful leader of Shadowclan, always and forever.

Ravenpaw's Farewell: HE DIED IN BARLEY'S ARMS, TELLING HIM HE WILL FIND HIM, NO MATTER WHERE HE IS. FUCK.

Crookedstar art: So beautiful. I genuinely think she's one of the prettiest cats in the series. This along with her official art by Wayne Mcloughlin.

Leopardstar: As a kid I hated her and loved Blackfoot, now I hate Blackfoot and love her. #feminism. But seriously I think she has way more going for her than he ever has. Her father is a medicine cat who hates violence, the DRASTIC change in Riverclan's view of outsiders upon Crookedstar's death and her leadership. Her already having a position of power before proving she's unworthy of it. (Unlike Blackstar who gets rewarded for his racism and violence by being made leader afterwards) and the fact she has to interact with her victims on a daily basis after what she did.

The writings attempts to redeem her are really lame and dismissive of the actually damage she did, but at the very least they TRIED to do something else with her. Personally, I would have loved to see her assassinated by Mistyfoot. Just like her mother Bluestar was almost killed all those moons ago by Tigerclaw... The parallels of violence for power and violence for peace. A victim repeating the actions of the very man who killed her brother to put an end to what he started in Riverclan.... A shadow in Riverclan, if you will. (<-Pretending erin hunter has hired me to rewrite their series)

Windclan: Tunneling as a concept and inviting outsiders into their clan so friendly and casual makes the clan seems so much more diverse than the others. It always stuck out to me!

Andddd there are my current warrior cat options as of 2023! If someone actually read this whole ramble ily<3

[jesssssssssica]

juno! j.b pt.3

my knuckles rapidly knock on mel’s door as i try to tame my breath. when the door finally swings open i see mel let out a long sigh, obviously not expecting me.

“what are you doing here, idiot? you told me i was supposed to get you at four it’s three!”

“i couldn’t do it. it reminded me of a dentist you know? and they had these stupid magazines with those quizzes on what season you are and then the receptionist kept giving me the evil eyes and kept trying to give me these weird condoms that made her boyfriends balls smell like pie and oh su-chin was there! did you know that the baby has fingernails? i mean can you believe it! fingernails!”

mel grimaces yet her eyes are amused.

“oh, gross. do you reckon the baby could scratch your vag when it comes out” 

i ignore her comment.

“i'm staying pregnant, mel”

she shushes me quickly.

“keep your voice down mate, my mum's creeping around somewhere. she doesn't that we’re you know”, her voice goes down into a whisper “...sexually active.”

what does that even mean?

“ oh... well i was thinking about everything and i thought ‘oh! there’s someone out there that would want my baby!’ you know like the women who can’t have kids or maybe some lovely lesbians”

“but.... you'll get huge and your tits are going to lactate like a cow and you’ll have to tell everyone that you’re pregnant!” 

“i know but maybe they’ll all love me for being so caring!” 

“ or maybe they will also lose their shit and be super mad at you and possibly not let you graduate or most importantly let you go to the alps for spring break.”

“ i don’t care about the alps, jude and i were planning on taking a trip to portsmouth for spring break anyway.”

mel sighs in response, exhausted by the constant name drops of jude.

“well, maybe you could look at one of those adoption ads i mean they’re literally filling the newspapers at this point.”

“there are ads? for people to become parents?”

“oh yeah tons! you can sell anything from iguanas to exercise bikes to babies! it’s crazy what you can do!”  

“come on mel, you really think i want to scope out possible parents in the local newspaper! that’s so dodgy! it’s like buying clothes at the corner shop! i won’t be looking at the newspaper advertisements”

we sit on the bench under the pretty tree in the big park, as we look through the numerous amount of advertisements in the newspaper.

“the newspaper sucks.” 

it really does. never have i wanted to fall asleep more than i have when i was reading this garbage.

“i know juno, but at least it sucks for free and what else were we meant to do today?” 

she’s right of course, we have nothing else to do today. 

after mel finishes speaking, we continue to turn the pages in silence when she find a couple who’s teeth are as blue as water, their lips just as blue as them well. the articles reads “wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple who have find true love with each other.” 

she turns her head to face me, i’m guessing to check if i’m paying attention to the article in her hand, though i’m off in another world, looking at a selling for a piano. my mind goes straight to jude when i see the advertisement. 

“ did you see there's a guy here who's giving away a piano, free for the hauling as well! i reckon we should get it and haul it to jude’s house.

“you're not listening”

“no, i heard you loud and clear but i just can’t give the baby to someone that will describe themselves as “wholesome” you know. to be honest, i’m just looking for someone a bit more on the edge.

“well then what do you have in mind, a family of disturbed loners who are into knife play and incest? cmon juno they’re going to be the person that’s going to have a human life! one that’s been inside of you at that!”

“no mel! i was thinking more along the lines of a graphic designer, in their thirties, and has a cool asian wife who dresses awesome and plays bass perfectly, but i'm trying to keep my choices open.”

“all right, oh how about this one? a healthy, educated couple who are seeking an infant to join our family of five, you will be compensated please help us complete the circle of love."

nope. nope. nope.

“big no, they sound exactly like a cult and they have three kids already, greedy guys! not the one for mini me”

“y/n! you need to take a look at this one.”

mel points to the newspaper and i look down to paper. it reads “educated, successful couple who wish to....” 

but i don’t get to finish reading because i take a look at their faces. their beautiful faces that are pretty even in black and white, 

their names were betty and aaron jones.

and they were definitely the future parents of my baby.

jude sits in his room, listening to the playlist that y/n had recommend to him and the same one that played when they went to fourth base.

he stares at the pages of his yearbook, specifically at the photo of y/n and the message that she wrote for him, and him only. it says “hey jude! i hope one day you get off of this photo with your lotion that you not so secretly keep in your drawer! joking (well...) love y/n.

god was he in love with her, she was just so ugh. she was just perfect and somehow he was the lucky one that managed to see her in all her beauty. he was the one that got to see all her scars and insecurities and he was the one that kissed her there. he was one lucky son of a bitch that’s for sure. 

he doesn’t care if she doesn’t ever love him (the biggest lie on planet earth) all he cares about is that he was the first person that she opened up to and that even if she never loves him back, then he will watch from the side-lines, cheering her on no matter what she does. because he really loves her. 

jude reaches for the phone, the same one y/n has hanging in her room, debating whether or not to call her. he puts the phone down after a couple of moments. 

he’s brought out of his moment by a knock on his door, which is soon followed by his mothers head peaking through. 

“jude baby? are you coming downstairs to eat?”

“no, no i don't think so. not really feeling it oddly enough”

“but you played for at least 5 hours today puppy, you need to eat and it’s breakfast for tea and i know that’s your favourite”

jude just places his hand on his stomach.

“y/n y/l/n called by the way.. while you were out. she wanted to know whether or not your coming to this performance on saturday.” 

“oh thanks for the message ma”

“judie, you know i feel about her, she’s trouble.”

“i know you've said.... maybe about fifty times.”

“i just don't want you to consider her a close friend that’s all.”

she sighs and leaves jude to himself.

jude then only finally reveals what’s hidden in his closed fist. the panties that he kept from that magical night.

a/n: i really hope these are doing the movie justice! @taintedstranger i think you wanted a tag so i really hoped you enjoyed it!

[atlas-the-bastard]

I don't usually post non fandom art on here but I'm pretty proud of this :33

these r two characters my best friend and I made for a VERY COOL webcomic we're in the process of creating - mavis (redhead) and her currently unnamed girlfriend because we needed side characters and I felt like she deserved a sapphic relationship 😌

i did use a reference for the pose/clothes but it turned out way better than I was expecting??? kind of insane??

anyway if you want more deets about the characters uhh under the cut bc I want to tell people about this so bad😭

SO (and may I just say thankyou for clicking see more cant believe people want to KNOW about my SILLY LITTLE GUYS)

Mavis (full name mavis nic coitir) is the bassist of a 5 person band in a world pretty much the same as our own except there's monsters n magic n people have powers n shit. dont think about it too hard the world building isn't designed for scrutiny.

Mavis' "power"/ability is mostly that she's just freakishly smart. she's the tech junkie of the group, the gadget girl, all that jazz - and also the biggest pop culture nerd ever. she's also the mom friend, she had adhd, she's 20 years old, Irish, and born on the 10th of february. she's a total loser and also the coolest person you'll ever meet.

she has a shit ton of awesome body mods/cyborgy stuff (which I didn't draw because I didnt feel like it💀), including a prosthetic arm - all of which she made herself.

she (like all of our other characters) is an amalgamation of a bunch of different traits and tropes we thought would be funny or cool, and also because I cant keep my sticky fingers out of anything, is losely inspired by one piece characters (namely franky and nami) - again, like most of our other characters💀

i, being a faggot, needed to give her a girlfriend and my friend said "sure :D". I thought it would be funny if she, being the loser ever, somehow pulled like. a beautiful celebrity or actress. and I think the idea in my head has now kind of morphed into like...a really cool artist/content creator who lives in their city and who everyone knows...so like microcelebrity...but still a celebrity to mavis's band mates. I havent yet run this past my friend, but I'm thinking some flavour of blasian for the gf.

also these aren't their actual outfits I just drew the clothes that were on the reference cos it was easier and also I think I am a lot better at drawing clothing folds now so win win. for the record mavis normally wears like an oversized band/pop culture tshirt and some old cargo pants/overalls.

anyway yeah that's mavis :DDD

(If u wanna know the other 4 band members are Soren Fayez , the seemingly cool calm collected popular girl who is actually a total ditz, and plays violin; Dante (full name Durante Alaric Hunter Dio Galloridge), the vampire vocalist and sometimes keyboardist with big dick energy and chaotic bisexuality; Calvin Smith, drummer and the most normal guy ever - completely trauma and angst free and the himbo ever; and Evan(geline) Mori, guitarist and the black cat to cal's golden retriever, bursting with childhood trauma and a Midwestern emo musical influence. Evan and Cal are in love with each other but Evan is too angsty to do anything and Cal doesn't waste time doing things like using his single braincell to pick up on Evan's faggotry that to anyone else except the two of them is more unsubtle than a giraffe in a swimming pool.)

[fereldanwench]

Hiya Wench! <3

It's me, the chick who always wants you to explain things xD. I have another polite request (won't be upset if you decline, but I have to try).

I had an epiphany about my posts today - I tag for other people, not myself (twitter influence). And I realized I don't even know how to quickly get to some of the older posts.

And then I remembered your page and how it's all neatly organized xD I previously haven't realized all your tags were actually separating your posts into categories and such... I love it. I had some big brain moments today xD

Would you please have any quick tips (perhaps you already do have them on your blog, I just forgot how to display the blog with the template on) for how to get started with your own template and neatly organized posts you can always find? Maybe even some template creators and such?

I used to do HTML & CSS back in the day, but it's been a long while, I don't have that much time to do trial and error anymore, and any actual coding is out of the question for me. It's gotta be user-friendly. (Free would be best, but I'm ready to reward the work done.)

I'm loving it here now and I post A LOT... I'd hate to reach a point where I don't even know what's on my page anymore.

Thanks! <3

Hi, bb! 💙

I've been asked about this a few times, and I honestly never feel I have a good answer for it, haha. I just like organizing and categorizing things, honestly. Best I can do is share my thought process and a couple of handy tools--Hopefully that'll help give you some inspiration!

My tagging habits actually come from ancient Tumblr functionality--Back in the day, the search function didn't exist as it does now (in which it will (theoretically) scan the body and tags in the post), and you could only find posts if they were tagged in a certain way. Sometimes I wanted to post about game stuff, like Dragon Age, but I didn't want my post to appear in the main tag (because of fanwank hell) BUT I also still wanted to be able to find it later because my blog is for me first and foremost.

So I started using "s: dragon age" to gather all things related to Dragon Age (in which "s" in my mind stands for "series") and "g: dao" for posts specifically about Dragon Age Origins, "g: da2" for Dragon Age II/2, and "g: dai" for Dragon Age Inquisition. And if it was a post I did want to go into the main tags, like a GIF set or fanart, I'd use both the default tags (Dragon Age, Dragon Age Inquisition) and my personal ones for my own blog cataloging.

Tumblr search hasn't worked like this in years, but by the time it changed, I was already in this habit for a while so I've just kept doing it. I do change the way I organize stuff from time to time, and there are some tools that make that easier:

Xkit Rewritten This is a life-changer and has a ton of great features to improve your Tumblring experience, but the "Tag Replacer" specifically is awesome if you realize you want to change a tag en mass.

Tumblr Tag List Generator And this is really helpful if you need to do some tag wrangling and figure out what tags you've used. I periodically run my blog through this to catch inevitable typos in tags so I can change them, and see if I can consolidate any similar tags (e.g. catch if I was using both "g: da2" and "g: da ii" so I could figure out which one I liked more.)

As far as the organization itself and how I choose the categories, it's just vibes, haha. It's just how I catalog things in my brain. Which I know is probably unhelpful. Prefixes like "inspo: ###" and "shows: ###" are pretty self-explanatory. "extras: ###" is for the random stuff that doesn't really fit anywhere else, like shitposts and cute animal pics. "topic: ###" is for more serious subjects and discussions, like LGBTQ+ issues. "mine: ###" is for the stuff I've made.

Two things I wish I had done a better job of is 1) organizing other people's OCs by fandom (if you visit me on Pillowfort, you'll notice I use tags like "other's ocs (cp77)" instead of just "other's ocs") and 2) separating my edits tag into a gifs and virtual photography tag. Calling all video game imagery "edits" is also sort of a holdover from Tumblr days of yore, but I wish I had made a distinction there. (I had never even heard the term "virtual photography" until about 2022, though, and I've been on Tumblr since 2010 so yanno. Whatever. This blog in particular is 8 years old, and I'm not sifting through thousands of posts just to amend that.)

And this is a mostly comprehensive list of all the tags I use, if you wanna see the categories and whatnot in action.

With regards to blog templates, I've actually decided to stop focusing on that here because Tumblr has increasingly become a more app-driven userbase, and the pretty blog templates are only visible on desktop. Tumblr also nuked a lot of functionality of the custom pages you can make, which is where I used to keep my tags displayed. I still have a custom theme, but it's pretty bare-bones compared to what I used to do. (Now I get my CSS fix working on my Neocities website, although that is very much still a WIP.)

But there are fortunately still a lot of folks keeping the custom Tumblr themes alive! You can browse some of my personal favorites under my tumblr: themes tag, and @theme-hunter is a fantastic resource to find free user-made templates.

Oh, and because Tumblr is pushing more for a generic and uniform app experience, you do have to opt-in to activate your custom blog. It's this option under your blog settings:

And if you want to view someone's custom blog (if they have one), you'll have use the https://fereldanwench.tumblr.com/ URL. If you want to view the dashboard-like version of their blog, you'll have to use the https://www.tumblr.com/fereldanwench URL.

Hopefully this made sense and can give you some ideas to get started!

[joltai-showa]

a bit more of a serious post today, but i was scrolling through some stuff before sleep and came across some certain sentiments which i would like to talk about

not outright reposting cuz not too sure if this person would be okay with me doing it, so i'll just say what i think should be said

please don't be ashamed of your hyperfixations. thinking of them and engaging with them is and always should be something fun and enjoyable for you. yes, they come and go, but the memories of them stay with you, the joy that you felt from it will be with you even if you change fandoms and many years have passed.

i've been in many fandoms over almost 10 years, for some of them I can even barely remember the names of the characters in them, but I still remember sending tons of pics of one same cutesy boy to my bestie, drooling over him and how we both joked about of current hyperfixations. since I was 14 I was studiying in some of the best schools in the country and proceeded to do a double degree bachelors. life has been stressful as shit, i am in my early twenties and already have a ton of gray hair, but unironically it was my hyperfixations that helped me to get through that all. i don't regret being unhinged about one evil guy for a year or two or five, because it made me happy in the moment. maybe i will no longer scroll all those thousands of pics of the same dude over and over, but they will remind me of the fun I had, no matter how weird or "cringe" I would get about it.

kill the inner cringe. be free to enjoy the moment. and who knows, one day this hyperfixation might just grasp you in its hold again. it did happen to me a few times :) keeping interest in the same piece of media is not easy, especially if there is barely any content on it. i try to juggle a few interests at the same time and have fun with each of them, it really helps with the possible burnout

p.s. and to the author of the tags, because i think the fics mentioned might concern my works: nope, you aren't cringe. long thorough comments are my (and I guess any authors'?) absolute favorites, because it not only shows that someone took the time to read through my work, but they REALLY resonated with it, they actually cared about a lot of stuff you've spent time putting into the work. you aren't stupid for showing your love for the work, in fact, you're already better than a lot of other people for actively engaging with the fic. i am not trying to shame people simply leaving kudos on the work, it's nice to see their count grow, but after a few days they turn into a single number that is simply there. comments, on the other hand, can be read and reread repeatedly, they're my little stars of honor that truly make my day better. and your comments are not deranged, it's lovely that you can write so much about many many scenes in a single chapter, because personally, I would not be able to do this, so you're awesome for that and a treasure for any author.

p.p.s. i also tend to remember "regulars" under my chapters, so i do get pretty worried that something might have happened to them irl if they don't interact with the new chapter for longer than usual :( you don't have to write extensive commentary every time, you can leave a short list of moments that you liked and maybe return at a later date with a longer comment if you wish so.

tl;dr all comments are valid

[weirdcat1213]

STEVEN UNIVERSE FANS: WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH TRIGUN STAMPEDE (SPOILER FREE)

Hi there, it's been a while, isn't it? The whole show ended 3 years ago and honestly, nothing has felt the same. Most shows get axed/are on streaming which makes you binge them and you don't get to emotionally bond with that show.

Well let me tell you I got something that you may like

Ok so this post will summarize Trigun Stampede, its similarities to SU/SUF, questions you may have as someone who doesn't like anime that much and why it needs a shit ton of support.

Trigun Stampede:

The story is set on this desert planet where humans need special machines to survive called plants because they produce all the resources humans need to survive. In a world where fighting is the only way to survive, the outlaw Vash the Stampede decides to help people with their plants/personal problems without using violence. If he is a pacifist then why is he an outlaw? Watch the show.

SU/SUF similarities and pros:

-Did you like the sci-fi element in SU? Stampede has so much of that and they actually get deep into it. It has an important role in the story. (I wish I could say more but spoilers)

-Did you like the message of love and peace? Our beloved main character lives by that motto and yes there is conflict.

-Did you like cool villains with good reasons and grey morals? OH, WE GOT YOU ALRIGHT. Vash's main antagonist has that covered (again, spoilers) BUT I PROMISE YOU HE IS EVERYTHING YOU WANTED IN SU FROM A VILLAIN.

-Did you like pretty art? Orange, although mainly known for its CGI has done beautiful backgrounds + art concepts for the show.

-Did you like the gorgeous and smooth animation: Orange is the best studio when it comes to CGI and that doesn't mean "ok this is decent" kind of CGI, this is "I'm gonna eat this scene" kind of CGI. SU only got smooth animation when they brought guest animators but Stampede has that level on every. single. episode.

-Did you like SUF specifically for the trauma, growth and mental health themes? You will love Vash and some of the other characters. But Vash...dear god.

-Did you like the angst? Stampede is for you but don't blame me for the therapy bills

-Did you love the music? Stampede isn't a musical sadly the ost fucking slaps and it's so cool. It's on Spotify if you want to support it legally.

-Did you love the likable secondary characters? Stampede has a few characters but they are likable characters and feel real instead of NPCs. None of them follows an archetype strictly except maybe for one who is still pretty cool.

-Did you like the representation? Nothing can be perfect and it would be misleading to not mention this considering it's a great part of what makes SU special to me and others. Although it's not explicitly queer, there are some themes/ characters to whom queer people (myself included) have connected a lot. There's a non-binary character, and Vash's struggle with (spoiler) is relatable to a lot of queer people. Also, the guy really gives gender. Cmon, look at him. There's a fanon gay ship but the original creator (Nightow) and the Orange team really made Stampede *gay*. Like Yuri on Ice but better IMO

You can literally send me a dm with a "what about X" and I will reply.

Questions you may have as someone who doesn't like anime:

-I don't like Japanese voices and how they scream: The english dub is really good (like, omg VAs I will give you my life) good. They all fit and care for their characters, and the direction was amazing. If you're a zach callison fan I reassure you, Vash's voice actor GAVE that kind of emotion.

-I don't like generic anime looks: Guess what! Stampede is pure CGI and it looks awesome! If you don't like the generic design anime characters get you're in for a treat.

-I don't want to read the manga/watch the 98 anime to understand whats happening: And you won't have to! A lot of people got into Trigun as a whole with Stampede and the people watching the 98 anime now are doing so cuz they miss the characters, not because its crucial to understand Stampede.

-I don't like CGI, non of it: watch the 1st episode then come back to me. Not even that, just watch the trailer.

Why it needs a shit ton of support

Apparently, anime is just starting to take outside-of-Japan fans into consideration for things like renewals, so at the Orange panel, the staff told people to support the studio and Stampede if we want more of it. It sucks that this is the only way a show can get renewed but we already know what's that like because of SU. Even if we didn't know it, people talking about it, going to cons cosplaying characters from the show, and buying merch was giving power to Rebecca to keep pushing for the show. Even if we got season 5 cut we managed to get Future and maybe the movie thanks to the fan support. Stampede is so new and although its popular it got cast away just for being CGI and for not being the exact same as the 98 anime. It's literally a passion project and the staff (including Nightow) are so in love with it. They want us to look for clues and give us more content because they love Trigun as a whole. Animation is suffering and I know there are 100000 shows that need support but please keep this show in mind. It's made of love, you could say.

Here's the ways you can support it!

-Where to watch (sub/dub): crunchyroll/ the DVD is coming out soon but I dont think that has the dub.

-OST: Spotify, Applemusic

-Merch: I recommend CD Japan but there are other websites

[waheelawhisperer]

Ask thingy for Indra, mainly 'cause your AO3 fic really struck some chords: 1, 6, 7, 8, 15, 17.

Indra! I love her!

1: Why I love them, like them or hate them.

Fantastic aesthetic (I love punk girls), great voice in both English and Japanese, lovely personality... I have a huge weakness for characters that seem rough and lowbrow but ultimately display a hidden nobility... Her kit and playstyle would be fun if you didn't have to give Brawler Guards absolutely broken playstyles to make them work. I love her devotion to Siege and the rest of the Glasgow, I have a huge thing for badass bloodthirsty women, especially when they also have the sort of sweet exuberant goofy affectionate side we see Indra display in some of her files and talk lines, she gets to wear a suit... what's not to love?

6: The scene that I think shows just how awesome they really are.

Everyone in charge of this game is allergic to letting the Glasgow Gang shine in any way, much to my continual frustration, but the line in her files about Indra understanding the ideals of chivalry better than many of the actual belted knights of Kazimierz despite being essentially a street thug lives rent-free in my head.

7: The scene that I think adds depth to their character or the relationship this character has with someone

I think it's gotta be the scene in Chapter 10 where she instructs Dagda in the art of delivering proper one-liners, along with her giving Doc a hug. It's really interesting to me the way the Glasgow Gang as a whole seems to be pretty close with the Doctor (IIRC Doc is on a first name basis with at least two of them, and all of them are quite friendly with the Doc in their talk lines, allowing for Siege'ssomewhat aloof personality), and I would've liked to see that explored more.

8: A headcanon I have about this character.

Given that Indra is hinted to be a bit of a big eater, I like to imagine that she's eager to try all the various world cuisines that can be found in Rhodes Island. The company has a multinational workforce, and with that comes a lot of food for her to try. She personally can't cook for shit tho

15: What I think their role in the story is versus what I think it should be.

The answer to the first half of this question is "fuck if I know. Accessory to Siege, who is herself a plot device at this point? Muscle? She's just there to look hot?"

I've made no secret of my frustration about the way the Victoria arc treated the Glasgow Gang. Indra is supposed to be a badass, but she doesn't get to fight anyone more dangerous than mooks to show it off. She's supposed to be Siege's second-in-command, but Siege herself doesn't get to do much or have a ton of agency, so not much is left for Indra. We don't even explore her relationship with Siege or her other comrades outside of operator records, so it mostly feels like she's tagging along to hit things without even getting to hit anything important.

Giving her the role in the story requires a significant restructuring of the Victoria arc, because the Sarkaz plot cancer means all the fucking focus goes to Kal/Amiya/Doc and the Kazdel lore while we waste time chasing a bunch of literal who characters around Londinium and fucking Stainless plays a more important role in the plot than the launch characters it supposedly centers around. I'd trim it way the hell down, make the Sarkaz plot something separate, and focus on Rhodes Island helping Siege rally the people of Londinium to regain her throne while leaning on Indra and Morgan's connection to the common people and Dagda's status as a noble to gain support or something, idfk. It's kind of hard to fuck up a by-the-numbers rightful king returns story, but Arknights managed it.

17: how well they'd do if they got dropped in a horror movie.

Depends on the horror movie. Indra would eat your average slasher for breakfast because she's not a dumb horny teenager completely lacking in training or equipment and could handle some horror monsters just fine, but supernatural/psychological horror would be a bit harder for her to deal with.

Bloodborne's not a horror movie, but it's a good example of what I'm talking about: she could deal with most of the enemies without issue, but her bloodthirsty nature means she'd be at risk of succumbing to beasthood and she's too normal to take the cosmic horror revelations about the nature of the world all that well, although she could probably convince herself that it was just the product of a truly epic bender.

Actually, now that I think about it, Bloodborne probably isn't the best example I could've used, given that at least 50% of the game is just a simulation of an average evening in London immediately following a soccer match.

[katieskarlette]

Between Wrathion and Sabellian... who has your vote? 👀

I've been asked this several times, and been thinking about it. I think part of why it's hard for me to decide is because I think there are some great stories to be told either way.

If Sabellian becomes Aspect, Wrathion would have to find a new purpose in life, or do freelance Earth Warding, so to speak. He'd be free to choose his own path in a way he has never been, which might be a blessing in disguise. Or Sabellian could turn out to be a bad guy and Wrathion would have to lead a coup. Or Sabellian could turn down the position because he realizes that Wrathion is what the flight needs for a fresh start, untouched by corruption. Lots of potential there.

If Wrathion becomes the Aspect, it could be a glorious culmination of all his efforts, a sort of "and he lived happily ever after" destiny...or it could turn into a disaster because he's immature, brash and impulsive. Or it could start out bumpy but we could watch/help him grow into the role. Or Sabellian could lead a coup against him. Or Wrathion could turn down the position because he eventually realizes his own shortcomings and recognizes Sabellian's superior experience. Tons of potential there, too.

Or...Ebyssian could show up and try to make Sabellian and Wrathion stop fighting about it, and everyone is like, "Wow, now there's a level-headed dragon who can smooth over conflicts, is uncorrupted, and has leadership experience. Let's pick him instead." I know a lot of people have suggested this with varying degrees of seriousness, but I actually wouldn't mind if it became canon. It wouldn't mean Wrathion and Sabellian would have to go away and not be in the story anymore; if anything it would free them from obligations and let them get up to different shenanigans.

That's from a writing/storytelling viewpoint.

If I was a black dragon myself, I'd either have been hiding somewhere on Azeroth, trying to evade Blacktalon assassins since Cataclysm, or I'd be arriving with Sabellian from Outland now. In that case, I'd be more inclined to vote for the devil dragon I knew.

If I was deciding as a mortal (i.e. non-dragon) character in Azeroth watching this all unfold, I'd be more apt to side with the guy I've worked alongside for years. I watched him geek out over mogu and mantid artifacts in Pandaria. I accompanied him through the August Celestials' challenges and heard the genuine fear and despair in his voice when he spoke of his apocalyptic visions of the Legion's return. I read the logbook detailing how he saved some of Admiral Taylor's troops from death cultists in the Spires of Arak. I saw him risk life and limb to take down N'Zoth. Yes, he's made mistakes, but so do we all. He means well and he's not afraid to throw himself into the action in pursuit of his goals.

As for game mechanics and purely personal sentiment, of course I'll side with, and do quests for, my precious son on my main character. That doesn't mean the first alt I get to 70 will, though...

Most of all, I love both characters and their stories, and don't like to see fans bashing one to support the other. They both have flaws and strengths, and (barring Old Gods turning puppet masters again) I think they both would be fine Aspects.

I also don't want to set my heart on a particular outcome because that's just setting myself up for disappointment. Even if Blizzard's storytelling seems to be improving with this expansion, their recent track record has made me wary. I love the black dragonflight story so far, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it continues to be awesome, but if it takes a nosedive I won't be utterly shocked. Best to keep my expectations low.

So, uh...short answer? Wrathion.

[adultswim2021]

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job #40: “Presidents” | March 23, 2009 - 12:30AM | S04E07

Happy New Years. It is 2024, and you know what that means. It’s a dang election year. What better way to kick it off than with an episode of a sketch comedy program titled “Presidents”, which references one of the sketches that’s in it. 

The cold open is one of their most famous. It’s an ad intended for one person; Jim Boonie (whom they call back to in other sketches in the episode). The ad informs Jim that he’s to receive “Free Real Estate”, ending with a pretty funny line read for “It’s Free Real Estate” from Tim. This moment has been GIF’d into oblivion by net-crazy memesters, many of whom to this day will see Tim Heidecker in other projects and wonder aloud “Is that the guy from the Real Estate meme?”. This one advertises a website (freerealestateforjim.biz) but there ain’t nothing on there. 

This one has a fairly low-effort/minimal framing device where Ben Hur is hosting the show. He is one of the nastiest men to ever live. He sits next to a small collection of hummel figurines and has video shoot out of his face, expressed with beams of light radiating outward, as a means for transition into new sketches. There’s not much to this one, but at least it’s specific. 

Hey, it’s a Kid Break! They’ve yet to take this sketch to higher highs than the first installment, but you can’t blame them for trying. In this one, Tim’s character sings about having sensitive nipples that bleed when they rub up against his shirt. Eric is disgusted with him and plainly speaks his mind about it, suggesting that this is too specific of a problem to sing about. “This is a song about a woman’s problem and it’s disgusting”. This one has it’s moments and it's probably not the worst one of these, despite the in-universe objections being made about it.

Steve Brule gets an actual dang sketch and not just a Brules Rule or some kind of ass-slapping fest with the Married News Team. In this one Steve Brule is a Slim Goodbye type of figure, wearing layers of bodysuits that illustrate where bones, muscles, and organs are. There’s also a layer of disgusting man-skin. A small group of children look on, looking mildly disturbed. This one’s pretty okay, and also has some funny lines, like when he says the only part of your body that needs bones is the center part, and shows off a mysterious organ where teeth come from. Dang guy says “Muscles” wrong. 

The episode is named after Tim and Eric doing a horse-around at a podium, announcing their candidacy for president. They bicker back and forth over who’s going to be the president and who’s going to be the vice president. This one feels slight, but they do have a way with words and the ways they try to diminish each other is funny. We got a joke about Jokerman font, which was probably more original back in 2009. This is reminiscent of the sketch where they run competing price stores, but about 70% as funny. I do like when Eric calls Tim a “‘Tute Man”, meaning prostitutes, and shames Tim into bringing them to even his parents house.

White Boyz is a weird one where the only idea they seemed to go into it with was the costume and make-up. This is sort of just an art video where they musically announce themselves and do strange motions to one another that involve feeding each other beams of energy, as if they are otherworldly creatures. There actually was more to this one; the DVD contains a deleted scene where they get little talking head segments where they just talk about having normal guy hobbies, insisting that they are normal boys who like a ton of sun. I get why they went a different way, even though some of it is funny; it just doesn't feel very original.

I am just going to link to this playlist, which seems to contain every season 4 DVD extra. It’s in there, along with other things I forgot to link to in other write-ups. 

The next sketch is Michael Ian Black, playing himself (but in a wig), as the host of “focus on comedy”, a show where he interviews Tim and Eric and asks them leading questions about getting high to write comedy. Tim and Eric gleefully speak about doing “marijuanno” and they just go nuts. I don’t mind this one, but given how much respect I’ve lost for Michael Ian Black over the years, this one is at least repulsive on a shallow level. I do think the opening is a little funny, and I like the nonsensical “microscope” transition. 

This one also features The Best of Pusswhip Banggang, a Cajun swamp rock band that sings improvised-sounding songs about Jambalaya and whatnot. This one has a full performance of said song on the DVD (or that playlist, if you’d rather). Drag City released a picture disc single of Jambalaya in 2014. 

This one was a mixed bag, but so far this season matches my memory of being stronger than season three. Even episodes like this, which give plenty of breathing room to it’s imperfections, still feel like a marked improvement over all but the two great season three episodes (Chan/Jim and Derrck). 

EPHEMERA CORNER:

The Venture Bros. Season 3 DVD (March 24, 2009)

The Venture Bros. Season three DVD is a fairly typical Venture Bros. release, with audio commentaries on every episode and deleted scenes and stuff. But, there were two notable things about this release: 1) it was the first Adult Swim release that was also issued on blu-ray! I forget and also I don’t care enough to find out if the blu-ray came out on the same day. At the time this came out, I did not have a blu-ray player, so I initially bought the DVD. I eventually got the blu-ray. How cool is it, owning the Venture Bros. on blu? It’s one of the best things about being alive, practically. 

2) it was MISSING a PROMISED extra: the deleted, but fully-animated cold-open for two-part season finale, in which the Monarch seems to have broken into Venture compound and beheaded his enemies, but it turns out to be a holodeck-style battle simulation. This is just to set up the fact that the Monarch is on his way to ambush Dr. Venture. I think they released it online first, and said they’d put it on the DVD. THEY LIED! 

My guess as to why it was fully animated (unlike other deleted scenes), was that they were probably thinking the two-part episode was going to air a full-hour special, and that probably afforded them a little extra running time. This missing cold open was released as an extra on the season four set.

MAIL BAG

From KON, mouthing off about me wondering if the "honorary black man" episode of Delocated was pulled from streaming:

All of them were pulled from streaming!!!!!!! As well as several dozen unrelated shows across various networks and blocks. Oh and HAPPY FREAKING NEW YEAR!

The worst thing about this is that Steamboat William entered the public domain, and will HBOMax ever put that up? They truly hate animation, which is what Delocated probably also is.

you said "im not telling on them" in like 3 of your last seven articles. it's time to admit it: you're a tattle tale. you're woke and you're broke. No amount of racist guys in your header are gonna disabuse me of this notion. you're acab. you're spun in and there are no survivors.

You are a bitch and I am a guy who likes to speak my mind. We are not the same, except I'm also a bitch.

Did you know: the original script for that M*A*S*H scene you referenced read "he flipped out" but Gary Burghoff objected to using the word "flipped"

happy new year

Thank you for saying this NICELY and not in some caustic Denis Leary style tone. Happy new year to you my friend

[squishmallow36]

Fitz Vacker and the Secret Museum: I am Howard Carter

^note: title follows naming conventions of the original xavier riddle and the secret museum episodes

Summary: Biana and Fitz's family owns a museum and also a secret museum that can go back in time. Dex is friend who gets brought along for reasons. In this oneshot, they go back in time to visit Howard Carter because Fitz can't solve a crossword puzzle.

Word count: 3587 (the exact same number as my Alan Turing one. Are you proud of me? You should be)

Tw: nausea, dizziness

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @the-blender-of-the-genders (did Bob deactivate? Someone confirm for me please) @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @immersion-blender @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death

On Ao3 or below the cut!

Ready for adventure? 🎵Who's that kid who can travel through time? Fitzroy Vacker and the Secret Museum! Which great heroes will we find? Fitzroy Vacker and the Secret Museum! Every single boy and girl Has what it takes to... Change the world! Fitzroy Vacker and the Secret Museum! Dex! And Biana! And the Secret Museum! Dr. Zoom and the Secret Museum! Fitzroy Vacker and the Secret Museum. Shhh.🎵

    Fitz steps out into the blank white space created by the Secret Museum. Dex isn’t totally sure how it can conjure things out of nowhere, but if it can manage time travel, it can do whatever it pleases for all xe cares.

    Xe doesn’t even understand how the Secret Museum came to be. Or how the time travel works. 

    Xe gives him a thumbs up that xe turned the camera on and he says in his gorgeous, crisp accent, “Hi there, and welcome to the show!”

    Around a year ago, they started filming their adventures through history and posting them on YouTube because they were bored. Everyone watching--mostly kids, at least, according to YouTube--is led to believe that they’re making extremely historically accurate videos, not actual time travel. 

    Besides, it’s free advertisement for Fitz and Biana’s parents’ non-secret Museum, and it’s not like there’s a rule that says the Secret Museum has to be, you know, secret. Other than the name but that could’ve been created arbitrarily somewhere in the Vacker line

    “Today we’re going to meet an ah-mazing person: Howard Carter,” Fitz continues, running a hand through his newly dyed dusty rose hair. 

    Dex sighs inwardly. Oh, he looks so good in pink. 

    Another thing xe doesn’t know is if Fitz’s voice catches on the first syllable of ‘amazing’ on purpose or that’s one of his adorable unconscious habits. 

    Xe steps out in front of the camera to stand next to him. “Howard Carter was an Egyptologist.”

    Biana pokes out from stars know where. “That means he studied Ancient Egypt, which existed for more than three thousand years and was founded more than five thousand years ago!” 

    A wave of dizziness hits xem and xe, subconsciously, reaches for Fitz’s hand to steady xemself. Time scales like that have always made xor head spin, even if xe has been doing this for a decade. 

    Five year olds probably shouldn’t be trusted with time travel, but that’s what you get when you meet someone in kindergarten and then proceed to never leave them alone for more than five minutes. Which is hyperbole, of course. If that was literal, Dex would’ve run away long, long ago. 

    Fitz’s hand squeezes xor own. “He discovered the tomb of King Tutankhamun, and in it, tons of artifacts.” 

    Dex looks at Fitz to avoid being aware the camera exists. “He spent nearly a decade excavating and cataloging his finds.”

    “And he may have released a curse on himself and his fellow archaeologists for disturbing King Tut’s tomb,” Biana adds, smiling evilly. 

    Fitz is the only one of the three that cares enough to attempt to pronounce the fancy words. That is, words with more than, like, five letters. And he’s good at it, so everything works out. Biana doesn’t care enough to try and Dex’s face never wants to cooperate. 

    Dex narrowly avoids burying xor face into Fitz’s shoulder. “Curse? What do you mean curse?”

    “Oh boy. Maybe we should start the show.” He presses the large red button that only serves to offer a nice place to cut the footage while editing. It makes Dex’s life marginally easier, which makes up for itself a thousand times over. 

    The next day, ae finds Fitz sitting in one of the benches that are more comfortable than they look across from Verdi. 

    “Hey, Fitz. Fancy seeing you here,” ae says, sitting next to him. 

    “Oh, hi, Biana,” he replies, not even looking up. 

    Dex wanders past a few minutes later. “Ooh a crossword puzzle!” Xe sits on Fitz’s other side despite the lack of space. “Five across is Charlie Chaplin.”

    Fitz’s eyes flicker to Dex’s. “Wait, really?”

    He scribbles the answer down as Dex nods. 

    “Yeah, don’t you remember meaning him?”

    Biana supplements, “We had to cheer up Laedy Sassyfur. Ce got grape jellied. It was a very sad day.”

    “Oh, right…” Fitz studies his puzzle. “Any guess what three down is? It’s my last one.”

   “Most famous dinosaur.” Biana reads. “Why don’t you ask Verdi? Ve’s a T. rex. Ve might know the T. rex George Washington or something.” 

    Fitz exhales slowly. “Bi, fossils can’t talk. Even if ve did know the T. rex equivalent of George Washington, it’s not like ve could tell us.” 

    “Well, with that attitude, I guess you’ll just have to leave it blank. Unless…?”

    Dex already knows where aer thought process took aer. Xe mumbles, “Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it…”

    “To the Secret Museum!”

    Biana starts running, Fitz trailing a few paces behind aer. 

    “You said it,” Dex sighs. “Wait up!” Xe chases after them. 

    It looks like Fitz’s knee is having a not-horrible day. We’ve at least got that going for us. 

    Biana has decided that today they get to enter through the Egypt exhibit, where they have to line up with hieroglyphs they’ve been taller than for several years, but at least the Secret Museum still recognizes the attempt as valid so it doesn’t really matter. Unlike the dragon throne that fits at max two of them, and that doesn’t work. 

    “I wonder who the Secret Museum will send us to meet,” Fitz says, tracing the familiar figures. It’s a replica so there’s no reason to worry about his human oils destroying precious artifacts. 

    “And where we’ll go!” Biana smiles. 

    “And when,” Dex finishes, slightly green at the mere thought of the dizziness that comes with time travel. 

    They run through the wings of the scarab beetle that open up to reveal the Secret Museum in all its glory. It takes a slide down a fireman pole to actually reach it though. 

    As ae begins sliding down, ae calls out, “Look out below!” Nearing the ground, ae greets Keefe, a spherical red robot that assists them on their travels. 

    Fitz is next, sliding down the pole and waiting a reasonable distance away for Dex to follow him after running a mental pros and cons list for the eighty-four thousandth time. 

    Keefe beeps at xem like an affectionately exasperated parent as xe hits the ground ungracefully. Fitz helps xem up and they head together toward the central dais, Fitz beginning to hum excitedly. 

    Biana is already waiting for them up there. “We’re getting something!”

    Up at the podium, Dex begins studying the artifact suspended in the bluish haze. “What is it?”

    “Well, it looks like two weird-looking ovals. And they’ve got a line under them?” Biana describes, unhelpfully. 

    “Whatever they are, they belonged to him,” Fitz points at the curved screen displaying a guy with a mustache and a hat, “Howard Carter. That’s who we’re going to meet!”

    “In England, in 1892,” Biana reads from aer side of the screen. 

    “That’s over a hundred years ago!” Dex might be ahead in math but this and making sure xe gets enough cheese sticks is the only time xe uses it outside of class. 

    That’s not that long ago…I won’t get too dizzy. It’ll be fine. 

    “I just hope he knows a lot about dinosaurs,” Fitz says, unfolding the crossword he jammed into his pocket to glance at it one last time for a reason Dex couldn’t describe. 

    “Only one way to find out…Ready for adventure?” Biana asks, holding out aer hand for a hand stack. 

    “Ready!” Fitz replies immediately, laying his hand on top of aers. 

    “...solid maybe.” Dex leans into Fitz for a moment, trying to hold onto the feeling of not spinning midair. Xe joins the hand stack. “Okay, now I’m ready.” 

    Keefe makes robot noises as they begin levitating. 

    Biana announces, “Here we go!” with that saccharine sweetness only achievable by a potent blend of caffeine and bi lesbianism. 

    Fitz ruffles Dex’s hair as he says, “It’s happening!”

    “Hang on Laedy Sassyfur!” Biana calls, balancing cer on aer head for safekeeping. Don’t ask. 

    Scenes from all throughout history whirl around them, as does Dex’s stomach. Xe latches onto Fitz’s arm desperately in a last ditch effort as the time currents do their best to make xem somersault. 

    With a zap, a gorgeous Victorian estate materializes around them, filled wall to wall with artifacts. The simple white cards describing each object are short, most barely filling a sentence. 

     “So this is England in 1892,” says Fitz, already distracted by a pretty table. You can’t really blame him. It’s an octagon.

    “Hey, I wonder if that’s Howard Carter,” Biana says, referring to a boy across the room that looks vaguely like the picture in the Secret Museum. 

    Keefe beeps a few times, confirming Biana’s theory. Fitz nods, “Yep. Thanks, Keefe.”

    Biana doesn’t wait to ditch Dex and Fitz in their native nerd habitat. “Hi there,” ae says to Howard, almost as focused in painting a painting of an old pot as Fitz is the crown molding. 

    “Hello,” he replies absentmindedly. 

    Ae points to each of them as ae introduces them. “I’m Biana, that’s Fitz, and that’s Dex. It’s nice to meet you.” 

    “I’m Howard, lovely to meet you.” 

    “That’s a nice painting you’ve got there. Wait…does that bowl have feet? Is it supposed to have feet?” Dex asks. 

    “Well, not much is known about the bowl itself, but it’s been dated to circa 3700-3450 BCE, and the hieroglyph in front means ‘to bring.’” Howard answers. 

    Biana gets distracted by another interesting pot, asking, “What’s this pot? It has a face.” 

    Has a face it certainly does. And it’s not the most beautiful face that could’ve been carved into a pot. But maybe that’s the erosion. It’s probably a kjipillion years old. It’s allowed to be a little dented. 

    “It looks like one of your art projects, Bi.” Fitz smiles. 

    Biana laughs. “Yeah, it does. Maybe someday I’ll be featured in an art museum.” 

    “I’m not quite sure what that pot is,” Howard ays. “Check the plaque under it. I find that looking around for a bit and looking from a new perspective can sometimes find you the answers you’re searching for.” 

    “Good idea,” Biana nods, reading from the plaque, “Bes was a common deity depicted on pottery throughout Egyptian history. He was portrayed as short and ugly, with his face and tail resembling a lion. Because children were not judgmental of his appearance, he became the protector god of children. Huh. Interesting.” 

    Fitz leans against the door frame, trying to look around without actually wandering around. “Does this place have a dinosaur exhibit?” 

    “No, sorry. You’re going to have to go south if you want dinosaurs. Around here, history’s a bit more recent. Got some nice Bronze Age artifacts, though.”

    “I don’t see how this is supposed to help me solve my crossword puzzle.” 

    Keefe beeps, queuing up their next location because nothing can be simple and let Fitz figure out the answer before going to a dozen places. We couldn’t have Googled the answer? 

    Dex sighs. “Oh, great. More time travel. Just what I needed today.”

    The time travel magic zaps them to the middle of the desert. Which isn’t actually that far from civilization, but has all the sand that comes with it. 

    “Where are we?” Biana asks, spinning around like ae’s playing geoguessr. 

    “When are we?” Dex asks. Xe would join aer if xe wasn’t so dizzy already from the time travel. It’s probably in the realm of threeish decades later if the nausea is any indication. 

    Keefe beeps. 

    “Keefe says we’re in Luxor, Egypt, in 1922,” Fitz answers. 

    Biana stops spinning suddenly. “Hey, look, it’s Howard!” Ae waves to him. “Hi, Howard!” 

    Howard approaches them, brushing dust from his clothes. It doesn’t seem to make an impact. 

    Fitz smiles. “This is an ah-mazing operation you’ve got going here.” 

    “Thanks.” Howard takes off his hat and runs a hand through his hair as he looks back. “I’m the site manager here at Wādī al-Mulūk (وادي الملوك).” 

    The way Fitz flinches is only explained by Biana elbowing him, whisper-hissing, “Fitz, we need the translator.” 

    Howard doesn’t give Fitz a chance to turn it on, instead explaining, “It’s the Valley of the Kings, to you and me. There are dozens of pharaohs’ tombs around here, although we haven’t found much over these past few seasons of work.” 

    Dex draws in the sand with xor foot as xe comments, “Well, that’s certainly disappointing.”

    At the same time Biana asks, “What’s a pharaoh?” 

    Someone clearly did not read aer Kane Chronicles. That’s something ae should know. 

    “So you know how there are kings, emperors, tsars, et cetera?” Howard asks, establishing his background information just in case ae has been living under a rock for a while. 

    Which is…entirely possible. 

    “And presidents!” Biana adds excitedly to Howard’s list. Ae’s one goal in life has been to be president since before ae could walk.

    “Well, that’s a bit different because presidents are elected to their office instead of power being passed down hereditarily, but that could also work as an analogy. A pharaoh is simply the Ancient Egyptian term for a monarch.”

    “Ooh, cool. When I’m president, I should change my official title to pharaoh.”

    Howard smiles amusedly. “There is a bit of messiness regarding when pharaohs actually began to be called pharaohs, as is with everything in Ancient Egypt. There’s loads of history and we only have small bits and pieces of it.”

    Fitz, ever helpful, asks, “Anything we can do to assist in filling in some of those gaps?” 

    Howard considers for a moment, likely debating whether he can trust them anywhere near the delicate ancient artifacts. “Well…we are running a bit low on water carriers at the moment. All the water bottles are here, it’s just a matter of running them back and forth from town.” 

    Biana smirks. “Come on, Fitz. Laedy Sassyfur and I bet we can carry more water than you!” 

    No one knows why ae has to make this into a competition, but for some reason ae does. He doesn’t even try to keep up with aer. Ae needs to get aer excess energy out somehow and trudging around in the dry heat is a good way to do that. 

    About two steps later, Fitz’s foot decides to not cooperate as he falls forward. This is why we don’t trust him outside. 

    “Fitz! Are you okay?” Dex holds out a hand to help him up. 

    “Yeah, I just tripped on that very annoying rock right there.”  

    Fitz steps away from the most evilest stone ever as Howard looks closer, studying it, brows drawn. 

    “Hang on, this rock doesn’t seem to have cleaved naturally.” He brushes away some dust with a brush, even if it doesn’t do much as more sand falls onto it. 

    Darth Vader’s anti-sand rant makes much more sense now. Doesn’t make it a good line of dialogue, but at least it is understandable. 

    Howard calls back to the people milling about just, you know, around. “Can I get an extra pair of hands over here?”

    Clearly Dex and Fitz aren’t qualified enough to be trusted with anything. 

    “You know, that kind of looks like a staircase,” Dex remarks. 

    “Indeed it does, Dex. And it might just lead to something.” 

    An unknown length of time that feels like it’s been years passed in the stifling heat, and everyone has sand in places they didn’t know they had. 

    Fitz stops for a breather, pushing his hair, on the opposite side of artfully messy, back with a hand. “Ugh, it’s been hours. How long does it take to dig out a single staircase?”

    “Laedy Sassyfur is so tired ce could fall over!” Biana adds, and Laedy Sassyfur seems to sigh. 

    “Me too, Lady Sassyfur. Me too,” Dex agrees. 

    Fitz looks at the few steps that have been unearthed at an excruciatingly slow pace, blinking heavily. 

    “Am I seeing things or are there two circley things in the sand? Kinda…like the things in the Secret Museum!”

    Howard holds up a notebook open to a page with a similar symbol on it. “Do they look like this?” 

    “Well, there’s nothing in the middle, but yeah,” Fitz answers. 

    Howard climbs back up to surface level, preparing a whole lecture for Biana, Fitz, and Dex. Because this is probably something they should’ve known.

    But considering Bi didn’t know what a pharaoh was, he can’t assume that they know anything. 

    “Those “circley things” are called cartouches. They’re the way Ancient Egyptians denoted a name in Hieratic script. Usually they’re filled in with hieroglyphs spelling the person’s name, but something must have worn this one away. So there’s a very good chance this is yet another pharaoh’s tomb, and hopefully we learn something interesting from it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must send a telegram to Lord Carnarvon at once. Thank you, Fitz. I wouldn’t have been able to see anything from where I was.”

    As he walks off into town, Fitz is hit by a realization. “So…looking from a new perspective helped him find the answers he was looking for!”

    Keefe makes some robot noises to deliver one final bit of trivia. There’s speculation that Howard Carter and Lord Carnarvon were in a relationship of the cognate variety. Do with that information what you will.  

    “Yeah, I can definitely see that,” Biana replies to it. “Those were definitely gay little thoughts going on in that gay little head when he mentioned him.” 

    Fitz simply nods, keeping on a one track mind of that crossword puzzle. You can’t really blame him, though. 

    “Keefe? Let’s go home. I know how to finish my crossword puzzle!” 

    A zap takes them back to the present time in the museum lobby across from Verdi, Dex’s head left spinning. 

    Fitz picks up the crossword puzzle, thinking so hard it’s surprising steam isn’t coming out of his ears. “A new perspective…like upside down!” 

    “That seems incredibly unsafe,” Dex mumbles, wobbling to a nice, safe spot on a bench to live for a few weeks. 

    Fitz climbs up one of the lion statues, attempting and failing to twist around enough to see upside down. “It’s fine, Dex.”

    “You sound like Keefe!” 

     This spot apparently was not good enough as he gets up and runs to the stairs to get to the balcony. 

    “What are you doing now? Wait up!” Dex calls after him. 

    “You know, it would be easier to let him run around.” Biana says. Like ae’s superior to them. 

    “If you don’t make sure your own brother doesn’t fall off the second floor, I’ll have to.” 

    Biana huffs, most of which is exaggeration. “He’s your boyfriend. You get to take care of him.” 

    Before Dex can respond with a well-deserved eye roll, Fitz asks, “Hey, what does that plaque under Verdi say?”

    Biana is closer, so ae gets to read. “This full-size Tyrannosaurus rex model was made in the 1960s. At that time, only five T. rex skeletons had ever been found. All were incomplete, leaving many questions about this prehistoric animal unanswered. Since then, paleontologists have uncovered more than 25 additional T. rex skeletons, including some that are nearly complete.”

    “Tyrannosaurus rex fits!” As Fitz fills in the last page, holding it above his head, Dex convinces xemself that he’s doing to drop the pencil right onto xor head. “Now onto the next one! Anyone know anything about World War Two?” 

    Biana promptly leaves as Dex gets xor phone out to Google the answers secretly so xe looks smarter than xe is. 

    An hour and another crossword later, Fitz wanders into the white space of filming intros and outros, looking for Biana. “What’s a seven-letter word for a three dimensional triangle?”

    Biana rolls aer eyes. “Another crossword puzzle?” 

    “Yeah, why?” he asks innocently. There’s no innocence behind those gorgeous teal eyes. 

    “This is the third one today! And it’s not even noon yet!” 

    “And to think, I never would’ve finished the first one if it wasn’t for Howard Carter.” 

    Biana glares into Keefe’s robotic soul.

    Dex finally finds them, making sure the camera is on (it’s always on. Fitz and Biana don’t seem to know how to turn it off.) because this would probably make a good outro after some editing, and it doesn’t require writing an actual script. And not having to do things is a good thing. 

    “Thanks to him, we know so much about Ancient Egypt. Even if he did release a curse on us all,” xe says not trying to disguise the fact xe’s talking to a camera.

    Fitz smiles, ruffling a hand through Dex’s hair. “Curses aren’t real, darling.”

    “How do you know that?” xe replies, eyes narrowed. 

    “Because it’s an unfalsifiable hypothesis.” Before Dex tries to argue that’s exactly why curses are real, Fitz turns to the camera, escaping this conversation by saying, “Thanks for joining us on our ah-mazing adventure to meet Howard Carter, who used to be a kid, just like you and me!”

    Biana says aer pre-scripted line with zero enthusiasm. “So kids like you can change the world. I am Biana.” 

    “I am Dex.” 

    “I am Fitz, and I know that  looking around for a bit and looking from a new perspective can sometimes find you the answers you’re searching for, just like Howard Carter.” 

    Fitz smiles his movie-star smile, squeezing Dex’s hand. 

    As their eyes meet, it shifts, becoming more real, eyes crinkling in the corners. 

    But before Dex is forced to spend another century editing footage, Biana turns off the camera. 

    “Since when can you turn that off?” xe asks, exasperated. 

    Ae smirks, wandering off to who knows where. Probably off to go find Sophie. Or have gay thoughts over world leaders. Maybe both at the same time. 

[milkyplier]

IM INSANELY PROUD OF YOU TOO 💖💖💖

ALSO YOU HAVE SKILLS W HORSES???? HELLO?? TELL ME ABT HORSES PLEASE

🩷🩷🩷 YOU’RE SO SWEET I 😭😭😭

HONEY I ABSOLUTELY WILL TELL YOU ABOUT THE HORSES IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED HOLY HECK—

I started riding lessons three years ago, in June of 2020!!! I started on a sweet mare named Willow, and when we had to give her back to her old owner I switched to another spicy mare called Lady Mae, back in 2022. I love her will all of my heart, but I had to stop riding her as my primary bc we just aren’t a good match. She made me lose confidence in myself as a good rider, so I’m riding another mare called Star :D I haven’t ridden Star a lot—like once—but my riding instructor told me that she think Star will be perfect for me. My instructor has a horse, Ms. Candy, who is basically her other half—they’ve done and been through so much stuff and my instructor says she wouldn’t be who she is today without her. She says she thinks Star will be my Ms. Candy :D

I’m going to be helping to train my instructor’s horses this summer!!! She wants me to help with her OTTB mare, Saratoga, and I’ll be helping train Star especially bc she’s new around the barn :D I’m still gonna get to ride Lady Mae a bit, just not as often XD XD XD I had to stop lessons bc my parents can’t afford them but my instructor is the most awesome person in the universe and she lets me stay with her for days so I still get to see her and the mares :D I’ve come a super long way, as a rider, and I want to be exactly like my riding instructor and train horses and teach people!!! I hope to stay with my instructor a ton this summer so I can ride a whole bunch.

Uhh that was a huge info dump XD XD feel free to ask me specific questions, about my horsey experiences or even horses in general :D I love talking about them but I don’t get to a lot and I will answer to the best of my abilities!!!

I can also draw horses, so if you’d like a sketch lmk!!!