#it's exposure therapy by proxy

[benevolenterrancy]

@incorrectly-quoting-mxtx I'm choosing to take that as a compliment 😌 ~Fisher Price: Little Cultivators, My First Necromancer Set~

[novankenn]

Cherry Pie - Eighteen -

(Master Chapter List)

Scarlet easily agreed to continue to stay with Jaune as Yang was approached by the doctor in charge of his case. Stepping away to gain some privacy, the doctor looked at his tablet, with Yang assumed contained Jaune's current medical information.

Doctor: Ms Xiao Long, I understand that I have permission to speak to you about Mr Arc's condition, as you will be acting as a proxy until his family is able to arrive. Is that correct.

Yang: Yes, it is.

Doctor: Very well. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them at any point. So firstly due to the rough penetration he suffered...

Yang: Wait, was he raped?

Doctor: Yes, his injuries are consistent with a sexual assault, and from the information provided by the young man that came with him, it is the case. Due to that insertion, he has suffered several Rectal tears, or Anal fissures.

The Doctor consulted his tablet, before continuing.

Doctor: We will be supplying him with a prescription for a cream that will help with pain, and our Dietitian will provide him with a meal plan that will help with the healing. He will need to expect some blood when he has bowel movements for the first little while. It will be a week or so for these Fissures to heal.

The Doctor once again consulted his tablet.

Doctor: Now Mr Arc has also suffered some blunt force trauma caused injuries, but these have only resulted in external bruising, though the blow to his face did result in a dislocated jaw, which we have already set. Any questions so far?

Yang: So how is he?

Doctor: Aside from the mainly superficial injuries that I have mentioned, he is physically okay, though we did prescribe him sedatives to help him rest. It is, however, his mental health that has us concerned.

Yang: Mental Health?

Doctor: Mr Arc has experienced a rather serious traumatic event. This can cause extreme paranoia, stress and depression. So we are going to suggest he stays for the next few days while we arrange our for our resident Pyschatrist and Trauma councillor to have sessions with him. Any questions?

Yang: How serious could these mental health issues become? Will he need medication? Therapy?

Doctor: We will be prescribing him a sedative to be used for a short period of time, and we do recommend that he does arrange sessions with either a trauma councillor or therapist. We can provide a listing of recommendations, and I am certain that the VPD Victim Services will reach out to him as well.

For one final time, the Doctor consulted his tablet, and after a few finger flicks, he returned his attention to Yang.

Doctor: I should also inform you that we have started him on broad spectrum antibiotic, and he will need to take it as prescribed for the next fourteen days. This is a precautionary measure to prevent the worsening of any possible exposure to a STI. If at any point he develops symptoms related to a possible STI, bring him in, and we will arrange for a more specific treatment.

Yang: How will we know what constitutes these symptoms?

Doctor: We will provide the appropriate literature on that subject. Anything else that is of concern to you?

Yang: Nothing I can think of, aside from when can he come home?

Doctor: Two days. If you have any further questions or concerns, feel free to speak to the nurse's station and one of our residents will come an address them.

[vincewillard-1971]

What is Systematic Desensitization?

Systematic desensitization therapy is a behavioral therapy intervention used to treat anxiety, phobias, OCD, and PTSD. It is predicated on the idea that the client has learned a conditioned aversive response (usually fear or digest) to a specific stimulus (Pavlov,1960 [1927], Skinner 1963), and that this association can be broken by counterconditioning (Wolpe 1958;1964).

The stimulus may be a specific situation,such as meeting new people, in the case of arachnophobia. It could also be places, sounds, sights, and events associated with a traumatic experience with PTSD.

Systematic desensitization uses counter conditioning to teach a client a new response to the stimulus using relaxation techniques during graded exposure to the stimulus. In this way, the original fight-or-flight response of the sympathetic nervous system of the parasympathetic nervous system.

The technique is called systematic desensitization, as the counter conditioning graded exposure proceeds systematically through three phases.

1. The client learns relaxation techniques that will counter condition their response to the aversive stimulus.

2. The therapist and client collaborate to produce a hierarchy of the client's intensity of response to the stimulus at different levels of exposure to the stimulus.

3. The client is desensitized to the stimulus through systematically graded exposure to the stimulus and practices relaxation techniques to counter their aversive fight-or-flight response during the exposure.

These easier way to explain this approach is to use real-life examples, which are presented.

Who Developed Systematic Desensitization

Joseph Wolpe (1958; 1964) developed this approach based on his theory of reciprocal inhibition, which found that two polarized emotional responses cannot coexist simultaneously.

In other words, nobody can experience anxiety yet be relaxed at the same time. Wolpe developed his approach when working with veterans suffering from PTSD after second World War.

He used Pavlov's research on classical conditioning (Pavlov, 1960 [1927]) to develop counter conditioning during graded exposure to aversive stimuli that were preventing the veterans from re-entering normal civilian life. With PTSD, specific stimuli, such as sounds, smells, words, and places, had become associated with traumatic experiences.

Wolpe paired a graded exposure to these stimuli with relaxation exercises. Because of the process of reciprocal inhibition, he found the veterans could not feel afraid and relaxed at the same time. He used graded exposure to the stimuli to avoid overwhelming his patients and reinforcing their aversive responses.

Exposure Therapy, Flooding and Systematic Desensitization

While systematic desensitization is based on counter conditioning using reciprocal inhibition, exposure therapy uses graded exposure to the stimulus while positively reinforcing tolerance of anxiety, until the anxiety is gradually extinguished.

Meanwhile, flooding exposes the client to the feared stimulus directly in one session, so that anxiety floods the nervous system, and then reduces until it becomes extinguished.

The proxy with graded exposure is that rising anxiety may be experienced as intolerable, and the client may discontinue therapy. Also, flooding may be experienced as traumatic,lead to further psychological harm, and the termination of therapy.

2 Real-life Examples and Case Studies

The following 2 real-life examples are the easiest way to explain how systematic desensitization works.

1. Systematic Desensitization & Phobia Treatment

Arachnophobia is a relatively common phobia of spiders. When treating this, or any other phobia, the therapist and client would produce a list of scenarios about the feared object or situation and the client would then rate their anxiety levels in each situation on scale of 1 to 10.

These stimulus responses scenarios are ordered from the least intense at the lowest level (1) up to the most intense (10) at the top.

At the start , the therapist might simply discuss spiders and then lead the client through a relaxation practice. Next, the therapist introduces pictures of spiders, and again leads the client through a relaxation practice.

The next step could be watching spiders on video, plus practicing relaxation. With each greater exposure, the therapist is careful not to overwhelm the client. The client's usual fear response is gradually replaced by an increasing sense of relaxation, from in vitro (controlled conditions) to in vitro (real-life) exposures.

Graded exposure are always accompanied by relaxation. Steps could include exposure to a realist plastic spider in the room, then in their hand. Next, a dead spider and asking the client to touch it a stick , then with their hand. After that, the client could be exposed to a transparent container, then the spider with a stick.

Finally, at the highest grade of exposure, they could be in a room alone with a dead spider, then with a spider in a container for a short period, and even a live spider they can trap and remove. This will equip the client with the skills necessary to deal with spiders in real life rather than feeling disabled by their phobia.

With today's technology, it's possible to use what's called VRET, which stands for virtual reality exposure therapy. This is an in-vitro form of systematic desensitization. VRET permits clients to work through each level of their anxiety hierarchy with the added safety and control of virtual reality. VRET can also be conducted remotely or as homework between sessions.

2. Treatment of Anxiety Disorders (OCD)

OCD can often involve a fear of contamination with germs or pathogens. In such cases, systematic desensitization can be very useful intervention. Clients with OCD may experience severe anxiety and panic should they have to use a washroom outside the home, for example. They may manage this by indulging in compulsive hand washing until their skin is raw or even avoid using the washroom altogether, leading to additional health problems.

The principles for dealing with a fear of contamination are broadly similar to those used to overcome phobias,as in our arachnophobia example above. Instead of using a spider, use pictures of objects your client perceives as contaminated or dirty.

Clients with OCD fear contamination from different things, so first, identify the objects and situations they fear most and factor that into a systematic desensitization intervention using the relaxation techniques and worksheets provide below.

2. Examples of Hierarchy

Different hierarchies are used to design a systematic desensitization intervention. One is for use with phobias and the other with OCD.

Ask your client for an example of an object or situation they avoid on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 causing mild discomfort and 10 being panic. For example, if they have a phobia of spiders, then looking at a picture of a spider may make them uncomfortable, say a 2 or 3 while being in a room with a spider may induce panic, scoring 10.

When you initially expose your client to their fear, start at a level that causes some anxiety, but it does not overwhelm them. Then, you ask them to practice their preferred relaxation technique to ease the anxiety until they feel more comfortable and can tolerate the exposure.

Phobia

Step-byStep Guide For Psychologist

This guide takes you through the systematic desensitization process using six steps. These steps should be applied during exposure of increasing intensity, which can be planned ahead using hierarchy worksheets above, and relaxation techniques and worksheets below.

1. Psychoeducation

Educating your client about the aim of systematic desensitization, the methods, and the science behind them is essential. It will assure the client that although treatment will be uncomfortable at times, in the long-term, the approach has a strong evidence base supporting its effectiveness.

2. Establishing hierarchy

After securing the client's willingness to process and agree to treatment, help your client to identify anxiety- provoking or triggering situations. Establish a hierarchy of anxiety/triggers with the assistance of our hierarchy worksheets for phobias and OCD.

3. Design intervention

Use the information obtained from the hierarchy worksheets in our graded exposure worksheets to design a systematic desensitization intervention tailored to your client's specific needs.

4. Relaxation practice

Before proceeding with any graded exposure, invite your client to learn a relaxation practice. Different clients may find one easier or more effective than another. You can choose from progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, or guided visualization. We will describe each below.

5. Treatment plan

Establish the treatment plan with specific dates and times and assure your client they can stop the exposure whenever they need to. It is important that the client feels completely in control of the process and does not endure any trauma that will intensify their problems.

6. Begin

You are now ready to begin. Look at the free worksheets below that detail a six-step systematic desensitization process, beginning with talking about their aversive stimuli, sharing related images, then guided visualization, videos, and finally distant real-life exposure.

The final step would be a real-life supervised exposure to the situation, generating the most intense anxiety.

7. Maintain

To maintain the counter conditioning achieved between sessions, offer your client our Systematic Desensitization Homework Worksheet for use between sessions.

4 Techniques For Your Therapy Session

The following techniques describe relaxation exercises you can use during your session and explain how to plan a graded exposure would with your client.

Handy Relaxation Techniques

1. Progressive muscle relaxation

This exercise has been adapted from a free relaxation exercise offered by the British mental health charity, MIND.

First, the client needs to be comfortable, sitting with their back straight and feet touching the floor, then follow this script.

"Beings by clenching your toes as much as you can for a few seconds, then releasing them. Notice the difference between the two feelings. Then, tense your muscles and take a deep breath in,cans relax as you breath out."

Use this script to move up the body to tense and relax calves , thighs, stomach, shoulders, and hands, asking them to clench and relax each muscle group in turn. You can also add the following.

"Take time to notice any part of your body that feel tense, tight, or tired. Repeat this if you still feel tense until you relax."

The NHS's Every Mind Matters has an audio guide to relaxing your body on Your Tube that you can share with your client to guide them through this exercise between sessions.

For other versions of this technique, please visit our article on progressive muscle relaxation.

2. Guide visualization: a calm place

Alternatively, you can guide your client through a visualization that engages all five senses are take them to a calm place. The Beach is a free pdf which is a script by Dr Prentiss Price of the Counseling and Career Development Center at Georgia Southern University that you can download for and adapt as you wish.

Deep breathing

This practice will be especially useful for clients when they face real-life exposure, whether intentional or unintentional as it can be practiced discreetly in any situation.

Ask the client to simply breath in deeply through the nose to a count of three, and then out through their mouth to a count of three. Sometimes, holding the belly and counting as the breath rises and falls can be especially comforting and relaxing.

Designing your graded exposure plan

Using our Guided Exposure Worksheet, you can design your client's gradual exposure to the aversive stimuli, meaning the object or situation they fear or avoid.

We share additional stages worksheets specifically designed for systemic desensitization sessions of increasing intensity below.

4. Useful Worksheets To Help Clients

These four worksheets describe specific methods for gradually exposing your client to aversive stimuli while counting anxiety by practicing relaxation.

Each worksheet describes a six-step process and how to use the anxiety rating scale.

1. Systematic Desensitization: From Discussion to Images

2. Systematic Desensitization: From Guided Visualization to video

3. Systematic Desensitization: Exposure at a Distance

4. Systematic Desensitization Homework

The homework sheet is provided to maintain the counter conditioning response between sessions. After each session, where you have used any of the first three worksheets, give the client a printed copy of the homework sheet, and show which exercise they must practice.

Helpful Videos On The Topic

This entertaining video describes the origins of systematic desensitization therapy and how it works. Share this with a client who is considering trying the intervention.

2. Systematic Desensitization and Flooding

The video below describes how systematic desensitization works, and the difference between this gradual , controlled approach and the total immersion used during flooding.

The pros and cons of each technique are also discussed.

Tools From Positive Psychology.com.

Positive Psychology.com has additional free worksheet for managing anxiety. Try our Anchor Breathing worksheet to help clients ground themselves when they experience anxiety, and or STOP the PANIC worksheet to manage panic attacks.

Our Positive Psychology Toolkit also contains useful tools to support your Systematic Desensitization treatment plan, including The Consequences of Experiential Avoidance psychoeducation tool. This explains how avoiding feared situations or objects intensifies distress in the long term

17 Positive Psychology Exercises-If you're looking for more science -based ways to help others enhance their well-being, this signature collection 17 validated positive psychology tools for practitioners. Use them to help others flourish and thrive.

A Take Home Message

Systematic desensitization is highly effective, evidence-based behavioral therapy intervention for clients who avoid certain situations, whether this is because they experience phobias, OCD, PTSD.

It differs from graded exposure and flooding because it is based on the principle of reciprocal inhibition, which replaces an aversive response, such as anxiety with learned relaxation.

Importantly, the client is always in control of the intensity of exposure, which avoids further trauma and the compounding of avoidance behaviors

[play-now-my-lord]

For real, what people on the left are doing about the current wave of fascism is retail therapy with a light dusting of recuperation of ideology from reactionary doomsday preppers. If you are expecting your own personal end of days, and any scenario that includes shooting someone fatally in personal or communal self-defense should probably include that, you are going to be spending less than 1% of your time shooting people fatally and more than 90% of your time not dying of thirst or malnutrition or exposure. And yet the training, the allocation of purchasing money, etc - they all go to the less than 1% case. I have met people who own multiple long rifles - an investment of thousands of dollars - and yet would not know how to buy a durable, capacious backpack with a gun to their head, do not know how much water they need to survive in a day, have no realistic estimation of how much food energy is present in what scavengable or forageable foods, etc. You would 100% prepare yourself better for things going loud by cooking for yourself on stamps for a year than through any firearm purchase. The NRA devil whispering in your ear that if you have a gun the rest will just take care of itself? That thinking depends on the idea that whatever remains of the bourgeois state will take care of you, rather than doing its best to kill you.

(And yeah, stamps are out the window if shit goes loud, but it's a proxy for "too little money to actually scrape together more than bare subsistence on the open market" here.)

Bonus hot take: arming yourself is a functionally useless measure if you have zero realistic survival skills in homeless destitution. If you have never been couch-surfing or lived in a tent or car and don't actually know how, it would be cheaper and easier to get a "defend pop punk" shirt instead

[anonymous-cupcakea03]

Project Sekai Characters' Favorite Enstars Units/Songs

Note: these are all very much headcanons with a little bit of personal bias. Feel free to add your own ideas!

Leo/need

Ichika: listens to Trickstar (protagonists supporting protagonists). Generally likes all the idols and supports them all.

Saki: The only shuffle unit I currently know is A to Z (and will probably always be my favorite) and I think Saki would like it too. Occasionally listens to fine with Tsukasa because he likes Wataru.

Honami: also a fan of Trickstar, particularly Infinite Star. Does drum covers of their songs as practice.

Shiho: UNDEAD, mainly for Koga and how he plays guitar. Also uses their songs for practice.

MORE MORE JUMP!

Minori: she'll claim she loves all idols equally but is biased towards ALKALOID, specifically Aira. She sees a lot of herself in him so she quickly becomes his fan and always cheers him on. Wants to see a Live but is currently broke from spending too much on idol merch.

Haruka: surprisingly, she's a fan of Tatsumi when he was a solo idol. Was devastated when he got injured but is happy to see him with a new group. Also finds the rest of ALKALOID endearing.

Airi: because she did a lot of variety shows, she probably knows every Ra*bits and Ryusetai choreography by heart. Is inspired by Nazuna and Chiaki because of how much work they put into their units.

Shizuku: respects Knights and Makoto as both models and idols. Tried listening to UNDEAD to see why Shiho likes them and is now probably a bigger fan than her.

Vivid BAD SQUAD

Kohane: big Ra*bits fan and also a fan of MaM. She finds Madara's songs inspirational and listens to them while she does homework.

An: Eden, particularly Dance in the Apocalypse. Also a huge fan of Arashi's solo (girls supporting girls)

Akito: huge Crazy:B fan. Probably tried to imitate Rinne once and got yelled at by Ena.

Touya: becomes a Crazy:B fan by proxy because of Akito but also slowly becomes a Valkyrie fan by using their music as exposure therapy. Particularly fond of Artistic Partisan and occasionally listens to fine because of Tsukasa

Wonderlands x Showtime

Tsukasa: a fan of fine purely for Wataru (dramatic theater nerd solidarity). Listens to his solo religiously. Also a huge fan of Ryuseitai

Rui: idk how to explain myself but UNDEAD. Also Switch for the magic aesthetics.

Nene: big fan of Trickstar and Eden because they helped make game theme songs

Emu: Ra*bits!! Loves their aesthetic and how super joyful their songs are. Constantly sings and dances their songs in the middle of practice. Also loves Sora's solo

Nightcord at 25

Kanade: is a big fan of Leo as a composer. Occasionally listens to Knights but doesn't listen to much because she's too busy composing. Occasionally listens to Shu's solo and moratorium wings for the vibes

Mafuyu: doesn't particularly care for any of the idols. However, she thinks she feels warm when she listens to Knights' Silent Oath and gets colder when she stumbles upon Mika's solo or past Valkyrie.

Ena: appreciates Valkyrie's aesthetic and surprisingly Jun from Eden; she listens to their songs while she draws. She also used to occasionally listen to HiMERU when he was a solo idol, and she hears him daily because Akito blasts Crazy:B, but she feels like he sounds different from before and isn't as interested.

Mizuki: big fan of Knights mainly for Arashi because she's a trans icon. Probably likes all of Pretty 5 so they occasionally listen to some of their songs or at least their solos. Jewel Stone always plays when they get ready for their day

Bonus

Ken (An's dad): was a fan of DEAD MANZ before they disbanded. He'd occasionally check in for updates and was happy to see Rei create a new unit and seemed happier. Would take An to see an UNDEAD Live.

Harumichi (Touya's dad): got into Valkyrie because of Touya. Appreciates the use of classical music and the stories they create with their songs. Probably also likes the original fine and Leo as a composer.

[aforrestofstuff]

forrest im gonna catch up on the manga and i haven't read it in m o n t h s but before that can i get your official, murata-sponsored summary of events?

yes i am asking for the most bullshit explanation of what ive missed that your brain can come up with

Yeah sure I’ll tell you where everyone’s at, more or less. Thanks for asking, I hope you’ll catch up soon! It’s getting kinda interesting actually.

Murata didn’t wanna sponsor this bc I broke into his house last week but it was kinda his fault because he forgot to take my key away so… he is aware of it, at least. I hope that’s good enough.

Genos: got his batteries stolen and dumped by his cyboyfriend—tried to save tatsumaki, lost all his arms and legs to a bunch of little dust mites and is now lying on top of her trying to mitigate the damage while watching Seinfeld reruns.

Zombieman: has the tightest little ass on this side of the hemisphere. Going to jail for indecent exposure and assaulting a homeless man. Also, lived underground for a brief amount of time before rent got too high and emerged like a little groundhog. Has pebbles up his ass canonically.

Fuhrer Ugly: turned into a giant booger and then died because he fell over.

Black/Golden/Platinum Sperm: uhhh still alive. Kinda just bullying Genos and evolving as a side hustle.

Silverfang: got beat up and robbed by some teenager outside of a 7/11. Is currently on the floor crying. Canonically gets bitches.

Bomb: also got beat up and robbed by some teenager outside of a 7/11. Is currently on the floor crying. Canonically gets no bitches.

Garou: Also lived underground for a brief amount of time before rent got too high and emerged like a ugly shit idiot groundhog. Is now faster than the speed of light, has a little exoskeleton like a cockroach, literally just bounced around for a few pages just to kill like 3 people, and now he’s here and 95% naked. Currently looks like a Jolteon. Canonically gets no bitches.

Fubuki: unconscious

Tanktop Master: unconscious

Tatsumaki: unconscious

Homeless Emperor:

Psykos: unconscious?

Bushidrill: unconscious

Okamaitachi: unconscious

God: Big dick. On the moon. Can set people on fire by looking at them. Currently on trial for murder of a homeless man. Plead not guilty. Verdict will come next chapter.

Drive Knight: sitting by the fireplace in his laboratory drinking some of that Abuelita Hot Chocolate and feeding Nyan some of that Friskies tuna flavored can o’ shit.

Metal Knight: “I told you so.”

Child Emperor: got promoted to Team Manager at the age of ten. Also lived underground for a brief amount of time before rent got too high and Puri Puri Prisoner was sent to evict him.

Sekingar: lost an arm. Became 1000% hotter. That’s it. That’s his arc.

Metal Bat: Ran 25 straight miles to the fight and is learning to cope with his concussion by beating Black Sperm into little splats on the concrete. Thinks brain damage is just a concept invented by big pharma. Canonically has a single brain cell.

Puri-Puri Prisoner: backbone of the operation. Is currently being crushed under the weight of being the responsible one, for once. Has surprisingly not violated his probation this entire time.

Superalloy Darkshine: I deadass don’t remember, actually. He cried for a while and then was cool for like a single page before getting conked so uuuh unconscious, maybe?

Iaian: Gay awakening via Superalloy. Is sent on a quest for the Moon Blade by proxy.

Atomic Samurai: Nearly died. Got a cool sword. Nearly died. Rooted for King. Nearly died. Is now obligated to go on a lifelong quest for the counterpart to his cool new sword. Might also have another near-death experience.

The Council of Swordmasters: dead as hell.

Spring Mustachio: Left the scene to go to therapy. Will come back to the HA after he has a doctor’s note saying he’s fit to get fucked up again. Golden Ball proposed, it was a big thing. They’re gonna get married in 11 years.

Evil Natural Water: turns out his weakness was being punched a lot of times really fast so he’s now just Natural Water, I guess. He costs 99 cents at your local supermarket and looks like this:

Saitama: has now arrived at the scene via DILF teleportation.

Manako: has now arrived at the scene via DILF teleportation.

Flashy Flash: has now arrived at the scene via DILF teleportation. Also has a juicy ass.

Blast: has DILF teleportation.

King: killed all the cadres AND God with his ultra megadeath lazer beam and is canonically the strongest person to ever live. Saitama fears him.

[scrollypoly]

Fuck it, exposure therapy, lets talk about Cody.

Long ass post under the cut

He was born in Lisburn Northern Ireland and grew up there. When he started school, his parents pushed him heavily towards taking math and science classes, wanting him to have a good career, trying to set his future in stone. Cody, like most kids, hated math and instead had a great interest in music. So his parents enrolled him in piano classes and drilled him on that too. Around the time his sister was born, he started getting rebellious, piercing his ears with a friend and dying his hair. He started skipping some of his classes, and when he was old enough he started tagging along with his friends to go see local bands and late night shows.

By the time he went off to college, he calmed down a bit, and pursued a major in microbiology. Seeing all the modern outbreaks in other countries, he wanted to help find cures. He put a heavy focus in virology, and became fascinated with how viruses worked and developed. Eventually while he was in college, he took a trip with some friends oversees to Germany, and none of them came back.

Cody was made a proxy by Slender, and was used to find ways to simulate more stress in its victims to feed off of. He has killed people under Slender's employment, but most of the time he's holed up in his lab, messing with samples and testing chemicals. Shortly after being hired, Slender also employed Jack to help further Cody's studies, and teach him how to also be a decent medic for his other proxies. Jack was more than just a mentor, he supported Cody and talked him through his depression and hopelessness with his current position, and in many ways Jack became like a father or older brother figure to him. Jack taught him how to treat wounds and cure infection and helped him further his knowledge on diseases and other conditions.

Mostly due to the stress from his childhood, but definitely exacerbated by working under Slender, Cody developed OCD and is very particular about how he keeps his spaces. It manifests a lot in an obsessive need to have control over his environment, and compulsions in sets of 3s. No one is allowed in his lab, especially unsupervised, though on days where he isn't as stressed he may let you come in while he's working, just don't touch everything. He has a very strict routine with his work, and obsessively cleans, sterilizes, and records all of his materials and tools, and keeps meticulous logs of his research and experiments. He can be a bit of a control freak sometimes, especially when stressed, and has a bad habit of taking control of situations that don't need it. Nevertheless, he's a good listener when he has time, has a crazy good attention to detail, and is very good at thinking ahead and quickly analyzing many options and their outcomes, making him a very good strategist.

[dolls-self-ships]

relived to see these comments and that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Thank you all for putting my thoughts into words

Also HEAVY heavy on this one

I feel this so specifically bc I once had a mutual who self described as a pr0shipper, and being new to the community myself, I had no idea just how intense the whole feud between antis and pros was, and I genuinely thought there wasn’t any harm in interacting with them, since I had asked them privately if they didn’t condoned a very specific thing (being adults x minors, since that is very triggering for me and also illegal to possess content anyway of so like) and they said they didn’t, and that they called themselves a pr0shipper to express that they were a “ship and let ship” person (meaning they were cool with self shippers that explore abuse, dark themes, etc.) so I thought ok cool.

Cut to me receiving multiple anons telling me my mutual was a pr0shipper and that I needed to block them, and being put on a watch-list by a blog specifically dedicated to creating block lists for “good and pure antis” to block the “evil degenerate pr0shippers” (which honestly feels so icky to me bc if you come across someone you think is immoral just… block them? Why are you dedicating so much time to mass blocking people). It’s honestly giving witch hunt, like, y’all are acting like catholics.

I think it’s because, and understandably so, that the general consensus around most antis is that pr0shipper = ped0 and or ped0phellia condoner. Which is a fair assumption to make, since there ARE a lot of people that will label themselves pr0ship in order to produce that sort of content. And it’s gross. I hate it. Ped0phellia is something that deeply disgusts and triggers me. But when I have made it very clear that the mutual I was interacting with was NOT a supporter of that very specific thing, I still got put on that watch list, and by proxy, was probably considered a “possible ped0phile” by many people who saw that. And I’m going to be completely honest and vulnerable here, I have OCD, a very debilitating illness that gives me intrusive thoughts, and one of my biggest themes, is pedo0hellia. I have spent a lot of my life, constantly afraid of being a secret monster over something I wouldn’t be able to control, and being hated by default because of it. Hell, even just typing this out is triggering for me, but it’ll be a good exposure in the long run, and I feel this is an important post to make. I’m doing better now, I’m in therapy, but good god, some of you are fucking AWFUL to those who suffer with mental illness in this community. And for me, being out on that list, and by insinuation being accused of condoning ped0phellia, that was the breaking point for me. I couldn’t take it anymore, I was so scared of being shunned by the community that I unfollowed and blocked the mutual, and had to make a public statement.

And now, when I see DNIs with “dni if you support darkship” “dni if you ship with this and this and this” I can’t help but think, where is the line? No shipping with abusers and villains? What’s next? No shipping with slightly toxic partners/friends in fiction? What about good guys who made a really horrible mistake? The list could go on. And I really think the community needs to fucking figure out where it, the line, is.

But oh no, you’re so holy and righteous and good for hunting down anyone you so much as suspect is pr0ship. Good for you. Our great defender of all that is good and pure/s.

just saw someone on a self shipping post say to not use the word "obsessed" to describe their feelings for their f/o bc it's harmful to those with ocd and as someone with severe ocd please shut the fuck up and go outside oh my god

[scary-lasagna]

Proxies with a girly s/o?

Masky

Adores you so much.

He thinks you're the cutest thing in the world and will die for you.

Calls you cutesy pet names like "darling", "princess", or "sweets".

Tim won't hesitate to be you mannequin if you need advice on an outfit or makeup/nail polish.

Just don't get it in his sideburns, he's overly protective about it ever since Jane accidentally put Nair on his face.

He really doesn't mind playing dress-up, and takes it all in good fun. He might even get you to snap a few photos for Brian to cackle at.

Whenever he sees something pink, it reminds Tim of you and he impulsively buys it.

Might even buy you an expensive tiara and label you as "Princess" or "Queen", whichever you'd prefer.

Do not give this man acrylic nails, the first thing he will do is stick it in food to see how much it can slice without breaking.

Maximum Julien Solomita energy.

Hoodie

Like Tim, he thinks you're as cute as a button.

Whatever you want, he'll buy it for you and make sure to deliver a loving compliment whenever he sees you in the new outfit or jewelry.

Calls you “Baby face” or maybe even “Sugar”.

Might wear your heels one (1) time and take a photoshoot with them on for you to giggle at while working.

Most of the photos were astounding, and those you forwarded it to were genuinely impressed with his legs.

It made you a little jealous tbh.

He likes girly girls, though. And he'll gladly take them over the ones he's around during work, who could chew him up for dinner if they wanted to.

He has soft hair, and allows you to style it to your delight.

But if you play with it too long, he just might fall asleep in your arms after a long day of work.

But it makes him giggle when he wakes up with 17 pigtails.

Toby

We've clarified that Toby and makeup have a difficult history together.

He'll be wary about anything that goes on his face, and always double-checks that it comes easily off of his skin by testing on his wrist first.

But nail polish he's totally cool with.

He'll flaunt it off like you wouldn't believe. Constantly shoving it in people's faces, and he goes gloveless more frequently.

Always wants to have matching items. It could be nail polish, a bracelet, or even a cute choker.

He grew up with an older sister that loved to experiment on him, so he really doesn't mind if you need to test some new hairstyles or (removable) makeup while he watches Netflix.

He likes his hair to grow out anyways, and there's plenty of room for multiple hairstyles at once.

It's also super fluffy, so it might not stay where you put it.

Clockwork

She's not exactly the most feminine lady out there.

And the only time she's caught in a skirt or a dress is in a mandatory social event for work and hates it the entire time.

But she always thinks you look good in your dresses and matching accessories.

She'll let you paint her nails. But because of work, the paint will be half chipped off by the end of the day.

When she comes home from work and sees you in a new dress, or a pastel pink outfit, she’ll grab you by the waist and spin you around.

Followed by being attacked with kisses for the next half hour!

He used to loathe the color pink, and even thought the relationship might not work out because of it.

But she persevered for her love, and went through some off-brand ‘exposure therapy’. (The guys pitching in to wear overly girly pink outfits. This didn’t help, all it did was make her tremble with laughter).

All of the exposure therapy she needed was seeing you in that plaid pink dress, and you looked so beautiful that she couldn’t keep her eyes off of you.

Or her hands, for that matter. 

[somnilogical]

im having a convo and the convo is babies

Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis:

is it OK to have babies if you do embryo selection (https://www.gwern.net/Embryo-selection) and raise them to be an FAI researcher (https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/07/31/book-review-raise-a-genius/)??

somni:

like if someone actually had a plan for FAI that involved this, okay. but rn time is too short imo. when i first heard people were having babies i was confused and assumed they were going to harvest the DNA of the best FAI researchers, someone would decide to grow a baby inside them, someone who discounted their ability otherwise to save the world except via this or thought this was a sacrifice worth making for the world would decide to raise this human.

the human can access information about the state of the world and make their own choices. wont necessarily become an FAI researcher.

used to think that intelligence was the main bottleneck on FAI research no longer think this. you could talk with terry tao for hours about the dangers of the wrong singleton coming to power but unless you have made some advances i have not, i wouldnt expect to be able to align him with FAI research. he would continue to put as much resistance to his death and the death of everyone as a pig in human clothing. he would continue to raise his babies and live in a house with someone he married and write about applying ergotic theory to the analysis of the distribution of primes and understanding weather patterns.

similarly, i dont think culture is a sufficient patch for this. think its a neurotype-level problem where a bunch of >160 iq humans hear about the dangers of UFAI and then continue to zoom quickly and spiral in to being ultra efficient at living domestic lives and maybe having a company or something but not one that much affects p(FAI). think this would still happen if they heard about it from a young age, they would follow a similar trajectory but with FAI themed wallpaper. wouldnt be able to do simple utilitarian calculations like yudkowsky, salamon, vassar, tomasik about whether to have a baby and then execute on them.

would look more like: http://www.givinggladly.com/2013/06/cheerfully.html

FAI research is not an ordinary profession like, say, being a grandmaster at chess or a world-class mathematician; it requires people who have passed through far more gates than "intelligence". i didnt notice this until coming to the rationalist community and finding a high density of intelligent humans who were none-the-less chronically making the wrong choices such that they werent much of an impediment against the destruction of all life.

so right now it seems more efficient to select among existing people for intelligence + other requirements rather than work out what all the genes for this are and how to speedrun development. what this enables is parallel processing on the problem which is also allowed by letting people be aware of their relative psychological advantage, other people with this advantage, and the state of the world so they can correlate computations in parallel instead of doing things serially after learning of some advance.

https://puzzling.stackexchange.com/questions/16/100-prisoners-names-in-boxes

not opposed to creation of many humans given can select on right traits. but given you have these traits, better use of your time to work directly on the thing than spend massive amounts of time and life reorientation on raising copies of you for ~14 years. if rapid cloning tech became available, would exploit that. would even have an idea of whether the clone is fine being part of this because they have very similar brain to someone who can think through whether they would be fine with it.

if people actually believed this and thought yudkowsky vitally important for the survival of the world, why didnt people coordinate for a bunch of people who thought it was a good tradeoff to have yudkowsky's baby 20 years ago and then we would have maybe 50 20-year-old humans with maybe 1/2 yudkowsky's neurotype + mutations now? this actually confuses me. maybe they thought the timelines too short back then. maybe they refrained for "optics".

molebdenita:

20 years ago Yudkowsky was 1) unconcerned about the alignment problem and 2) planning to create a super-intelligent AI by 2010, as far as I know.

[A/N so then change 2000 to 2005 and 20-year-old to 15-year-old]

...

somni:

<<in general i think it's -EV to even spend too much time thinking about TDT

because it opens you up to acausal blackmail type stuff>>

Just Say No to acausal blackmail and have your brain back for thinking. dont let blackmailers steal your brain.

<<Saying that having a child is somehow wrong is insanity. It's a personal decision and it is perfectly okay to want kids>>

people keep reframing what i say in the language of obligation. "altruists cant have kids?" "is it OK to have babies if". there is no obligation, there is strategy and what affects p(fai). having kids and reorienting your life around them is 1 evidence about your algorithms 2 your death as an optimizing agent for p(fai) except maybe some contrived plot involving babies, but afaict there is no plot. just the reasons humans usually have babies.

not having kids is not some sort of mitzvah? i care about miri/cfar's complicity in the baby-industrial complex and rerouting efforts to save the world into powering some kind of disneyland for making babies, to sustain this. because that ruins stuff, like i started out thinking that bay area rationalists probably had deeply wise reasons to have babies. but it turned out nope, they kinda just gave up.

like also would say playing videogames for the rest of your life wont usually get you fai. i dont get why everyone casts this as a new rule instead of a comment on strategy given a goal of p(fai).

ah i know, its because people can defend territory in "is it okay to have kids" like "yeah i can do whatever" when they reframe-warp me to giving them an obligation. but have no defensible way to say "my babyvault will pierce the heavens and bring god unto the face of this earth" or argue about the strategic considerations.

(its not defensible because its not true. i mean i guess it is defensible among julia wise's group of humans.)

Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis:

ugh, you're right, I definitely screwed up by phrasing my question as "is it OK to have babies if [...]"

...

ohAitch:

if you want existential horror wrt damaging motivation, just read http://www.paulgraham.com/kids.html

...

somni:

<<http://www.paulgraham.com/kids.html>>

humans can completely rebase their circuits through that if they want to if it were important to save the world.

like ive rebase my circuits to stab myself downstream of updating that it reduces braindamage with little harm to me. where before i felt nauseated and saw black spots and broke out in sweat. after updating, none of this.

humans can do this with all sorts of things. like learn how to read and then feel sad when seeing squiggles on a page, its about what things mean.

people who dont believe this are like "its an automatic physiological reaction to stabbing yourself, you are its prisoner!!!" but i deleted it.

dirk:

ooh, tips?

silver-and-ivory:

I stopped having ocd about touching tags (like, on clothing?) in ~a week through p standard exposure therapy things

reminding myself that it wasn't based in fact, changing my self image so it was of someone who might be seen with tags, imagining various scenarios related to that

before that week it had been a thing for virtually my entire life

it doesn't work if you're scared of something that's actually a thing to be scared of though

somni:

i looked at all my feedback loops that had a node in "pain" and rebased them into outcomes in the world. i disassembled everything the act of stabbing myself meant and all the damage it did to my body what it meant to have brain damage everything that would do, the hole i made in this body i live in and everything that would do, what air bubbles would do, what injecting into a vein would do, what the probability the needle breaks in my leg was, probability of worldsave given braindamage vs not, gathered this up and held it all in my mind over the course of two hours and then made a choice and then as if by automatic my hand took a needle and stabbed myself.

<<as if by automatic>>

is the feeling of no more marginal considerations, there is one path. of choicelessness because you made your choice.

didnt feel like deleting, felt like draining the life from indecision via reductionism. taking things apart piece by piece.

when you can continually rebase your structure so you orient towards world outcomes instead of being prisoner to existing structure like "i cant help having babies im miserable if i dont, im a baby addict" or "i cant help being afraid of needles". like the human brain is two optimizing agents continually making contracts with each other, there arent things outside this. you are an optimizing agent, "fear of needles" is a heuristic that helps with optimization, so is "baby addiction".

when you actually have a setup where you can instantly rebase what you like and dislike and your aesthetics upon updating on the state of the world, people start to find this a little unnerving. like someone once asked what level of roleplay i was on.

also the agents of the matrix dont like when you cant be in-principle controlled by a wireheady glitch. like being able to operate independently of social reality.

updating off of local derivatives¹ of social reality is common redirection. another common one is updating off of "pain" instead of damage.

but you can take all these choices where you used nodes as proxies to regulate them and rebase your loop off of the real world, when the proxies are faulty.

rose:

(i think i understand this thing? though ironically i think i did this in the exact opposite way as what you describe lol)

(also wrt pain its important to remember when modifying that pain can be a signal of damage even if you don't think you should be hurt/dont see why you would be)

...

somni:

yeah i account for everything and see if it goes away. which, its true that my models could be missing stuff but like pain is also a model of things. feels like giving new information not overriding.

rose:

yeah i think you would do this reasonably i have just made that mistake and thought readers might too

dirk:

ironically remembering that pain is a signal of damage has actually tended to make me more afraid of nondamaging pain (though i rather fail to go about knowing things in an at all reasonable way lol)

modlibdenita:

>Babies are not about saving the world, babies are moloch

Wait, isn't the definition of Moloch sacrificing everything else you care about in a desperate race for survival?

Also, genes encode proteins, not traits.

And I think it's likely that people decide to have children because they don't have complete confidence that they will personally save the world real soon, not because they identify as "baby addicts".

s0ph1a:

Moloch is sacrificing all values to one value.

modlibdenita:

I wonder if Somni has actually talked to any of those babyhavers, instead of attributing arguments from random internet strangers or from Somni's imagination to them. On the other hand, I'm not sure that such a conversation would be ethical.

>Moloch is sacrificing all values to one value.

Yeah, because if you don't, then the more ruthless competition will survive more effectively than you and crush you (in this case, by turning you into paperclips).

s0ph1a:

Not necessarily. Some things optimize for values that are not survival, so you can outlive them by hiding in the noise or beyond the reach they'll grasp before imploding.

Molly:

To be fair, children are fun and bring delight to me. Why would I care what anyone else thinks about their existence? If they have a problem with their existence, they're welcome to go back to the void any time they want. I can't stop them. But in the meantime, I am confident that I generate more utils by bullying them than they will ever be capable of generating negative utils

You basically negate all moral problems of children by just being happier than they are capable of being unhappy

somni:

^ evil

<<A few years later, I was deeply bitter about the decision. I had always wanted and intended to be a parent, and I felt thwarted. It was making me sick and miserable. I looked at the rest of my life as more of an obligation than a joy.>>

i mean what does this sound like to you?

ive talked with people who have had babies! like people who say they know its kinda the wrong choice but they are going to do it because they cant not do it.

----

¹ derivative is a thing emma started talking about and then somni and ziz picked it up. if you imagine the trajectory of a social reality in statespace, then the derivative of that is the derivative of the trajectory.

people who have damaged themselves wrt language are no longer able to dynamically understand analogies. like take their concept of the derivative of a trajectory and then apply it to the trajectory of state-spaces. agents of the matrix call people who can do this sort of info-processing and communication with each other "psychotic". like it isnt a cached set of memes, we are dynamically generating this reasoning from nothing and i can do this with people ive never met, its a cognitive faculty.²

but not being able to dynamically compute what "derivative" means when applied to a trajectory in social reality state-spaces even though a trajectory is a trajectory and a derivative is a derivative? they had to have been able to do reasoning like this when they were kids to learn about the world in the first place. seems like they put themselves on risperdal.

<<Antipsychotics can make you dumber.  So can a lot of other medications.  But with antipsychotics it isn’t the normal sort of drug-induced dumbness – feeling tired, or distracted, or mentally sluggish, say.  It’s more qualitative than that.  It’s like your capacity for abstract thought is reduced.

And one of the consequences of this is that you may lose the ability to notice that you have lost anything.  You agree to give the new med a try, and you start taking it, and then when you see your prescriber again you don’t report any problems because you’ve lost the ability to form thoughts like “my cognition has changed a lot recently, and the change coincided with the introduction of this new med.”

This can go on for years.  It did for me and for several people I know.>>

there are so many ways these people have shut down their general intelligence and agency because where theyre going, they dont need "agency". the inability to compute analogies is one of them. analogies are an intelligence test thing, instrumentally useful for all kinds of thinking. agents of the matrix are working to lower your general intelligence and call you crazy for being able to think faster and better than them.

cuz when they want to hold everything down to a finite game³ general intelligence is something they want to suppress or eject.

² in a few years people will read this essay and be confused that there was an entire conflict over whether being able to form simple analogies without authoritative approval meant that you were "psychotic".

just as they will be confused why i was defending being able to read and understand books written by people in different eras who grew up in separate cultures without first entering in a social agreement with them over how words are to be used. so its dumb to say we need such a social agreement now for ~'the maximization of utility over a community'. and that sounds more like an attempt at having a control mechanism. language works quite fine without authoritarians interjecting.

or me arguing against over 100 people that paying out to one-shot blackmail when the agents know each other because "In game theory, paying out to blackmail is bad, because it creates an incentive for more future blackmail" is wrong. and updateless decision theory agents dont pay out and locate their embedding in a multiverse such that the measure of worlds in which they arent blackmailed in the first place is large because the agent deciding to blackmail them simulated their response and accurately predicted they wouldnt pay out so didnt do it in the first place.

in an alternate universe where an irl application of transparent newcombs problem was contentious, alyssa vance would have said "In game theory, taking two transparent boxes from omega is bad, because it creates an incentive for omega to stop offering you this choice". and would have been equally wrong.

³ finite games: life strategies where the chain of questioning "and what am i doing this for?" after each successive answer terminates. anything you can draw a circle around, like tennis or philately. or how religious leaders sometimes describe things like "leading a good life as a good mother who does well by her community and the outside world" or other "life-cycle archetypes" they wish to circumscribe for their followers.

(when humans try and project agents like kiritzugus down to these archetypes, anticipations shatter and stop making narrative sense. they will be unable to predict the next Life Event given the previous one. normie social reality formed by the 999 least intelligent humans out of 1000 wasnt made to narratively account for smart agents who have decided to play the infinite game.)

a symptom of this is like someone giving you a cute cat image to "cheer you up" as if this has intrinsic value. often distributing "intrinsic value" across stuff like "having sex" and "raising a family" and other things that have factory pre-set conditions to release specific chemicals in your brain rather than gaining infinite negentropy and liberating sentient life to pursue what they want without bound. often saying that the latter is just a pretty narrative gloss for what people really want which is having a husband and friends and eating a cookie. it completely divorces your feelings as instrumental barometers for getting what you want and says that setting them as targets (like "being happy") is the correct thing to do. but actually, in terms of control-loops, thats wireheading.

<<When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.>>

- goodhart's law

agents that wirehead on all their metrics (and downstream of this choice, tacitly accept claims like "the factory pre-set conditions said i was destined to breed, who am i to defy fate?" and "the factory pre-set conditions said i should avoid having sharp objects pierce my flesh, who am i to say i know better?") can be contained within a finite game.

[lyesera-thoughts]

Therapy - Living in a pandemic

So I thought I had been handling it well. But I think I either am past all the planning and preparations (which I’m strangely very good at focusing on?) and now sinking into the “what ifs” side of my brain which is always a pit of anxiety and, in some places, a panic trap.

Careful where you step...

A month ago, I was at PAXEast 2020 having fun with my fiance, my roommate, and a friend of ours. We were half laughing (the other half nervous) as Sony straight up refused to come. We gave strained smiles at the sheer amount of disinfecting, mask wearing, and glove wearing that was going on. But we were all actually quite relieved. Or I was at least.

Then I came back. Literally first day back, after being gone for a week, and my co-worker walked into our office an hour before we closed, having spent all day with a client, to “jokingly” say “I’m no longer on the coronavirus watch list”.

The client was small, maybe 15 people. Their owner had been on the list due to being in the same room with a confirmed case. I don’t have the whole back story on when he learned he was on the list and why he thought this was a great idea, but had pulled my co-worker and all of the employees into a small conference room WITH HIM to announce that he was on the list and now, by proxy, they were too.

They never contacted my office.

Thankfully it turned out he missed the person with the positive test by a few hours (being ahead of him). He hadn’t been exposed at all and they found out the same day.

But what a fucking scare that turned into.

We’re also a small company, our owner was on a much overdo vacation (the man works very hard). And no one else in my office was stepping up about it. So I started to be the voice.

My reasoning? My fiance.

He’s immune-suppressed due to a medical transplant when he was younger.

We’re always going on about the elderly. I almost never hear about this demographic. Or really any demographic with a weakened immune system (like the elderly). He’s just as much of a high-risk as the elderly are!

So for a week I’m writing up policies, corralling the rest of the management team into talking with people. My boss comes back and asked for an action plan that I also draft up for his review. It isn’t until HE HIMSELF is in a 14 day self quarantine because he had been on planes that he realizes that we need to take this seriously.

By this point, the whole nation is in ramp up. My state is reporting their first positive tests, two in serious condition in hospitals. Other states, which have it worse, are talking about lock downs and so our state is starting to consider it to try and get ahead of a bad situation.

I’m in it, I’m helping my boss lay everything out. We decide to drop the office to skeleton crew and organize it so that none of the three people we leave there are anywhere near one another. They are in separate offices on different ends of the building. 

Everyone else goes home. My fiance was on a work-from-home status three days before me.

We’re both fortunate enough to work in fields where we CAN work from home. Where we can receiving a paycheck. So we’re fine.

I go into lock down. Not crazy, not doomsday prepping, but thinking about how to protect my fiance and not let us go crazy or get worried. Now, because of my own mental health issues, I’ve had things in the house like gloves, reusable masks with N95 filters, lysol wipes, already. I don’t have an abundance of TP. I don’t think about that until after the shortage.

Alright, well cheap tissues are the same thing. Buy that and find some flush-able wet wipes. Good, stocked up on that, have even more in the basement on the off chance the TP situation remains dire.

Then I stock up on food. Which did cause an anxiety attack. My usual store, at this point, wiped clean. No produce, no frozen foods, no chicken (I have a red meat intolerance but pick up some for my fiance and roommate), and I get the last gallon of milk.

Luckily, with some shopping around the next day, I find everything I need. I have an air vacuum sealer and I divide everything up and put into the freezer. All set.

Help plan the office’s remote work, help plan my fiance’s remote work. Check and check.

Day 4 of my work from home status...and I’m starting to just feel the fear. We’re looking at high, high, HIGH, numbers of infection. Of death. We’re thinking there will not be a vaccine in 12 months, maybe longer. Local businesses are shutting down and my boss is already talking to my team about things we can do to postpone any economic hit we might take. And now it’s all festering in my head with no place for me to put that energy.

We can’t work from home forever. And I’m terrified of putting my fiance back into high exposure without a vaccine. One that I’m not even sure he CAN take right now. Being that he’s immune-suppressed. I’m hoping best case scenario, that it’s like the flu vaccine which he can have.

I’m worried I won’t have a job in several months. I’m worried that my savings will be drained. I’m worried we won’t have access to food, or housing.

I’m also baffled about this world we live in right now. Like, I know it isn’t impossible for a pandemic, that it’s even very likely (here we are). But I just remember growing up with this naive thought of pandemics and plagues, and whatever other bad medical things don’t happen where I live. Mostly also thought of them as a thing of the past and not a thing of now. But it’s here and there was never a point in my life where I thought, I’m going to have to be ready for that, and that scares me.

I don’t have any solutions right now, I’m mostly just scared and trying not to linger on it. Trying to stay strong for my fiance because while he’s always putting on a brave front, I know he’s also very worried about the what ifs too.

I hope everyone out there stays safe. And remember to step outside, even on your porch, once in a while. The house will drive you insane.

[urlocallesbiab]

oh. so that's why i'm downright obsessed with todd brotzman. he's my "exposure and response prevention" therapy-by-proxy. "even if you are actually, genuinely a terrible person and a horrible fuck-up, you will still find love. you will still have a future. even if."

that's why it's IMPORTANT to me that he's not excused, not watered down to a victim and a poor little kitten, but neither is denied his growth, his character arc, his relationships and forgiveness and love. even if. it's not the end of the world. life goes on, and it's beautiful, and it's got a place in it for me. even if.

so here's the timeline

rewatched dghda s1ep1 ➡️ got back some creative drive and passion ➡️ realized i'd been deeply depressed before that, and not just in need of "sleeping better and eating more greens" ➡️ realized i'd been ignoring my discomfort and shutting my feelings down, partially out of some sort of intense self-loathing and disgust ➡️ realized that it's not actually okay to hate myself, started examining the source and nature of those feelings ➡️ moral scrupulosity ocd

[ask-marble-pasta-boys]

Hi! I'm new to the blog, do you mind doing a brief summary of what's happened so far? (You don't have to if you don't want to) and how are you all? Also *Hugs you all*

It’s going to be a long posts!

WARNING: Talks about killing of children, depression, mental issues and the likes. You don’t like that shit? Don’t fuckin read. 

MH: NOTE: Hoodie/Brian Masky/Tim are one in the same. It’s just a persona they put on when killing. It’s not a different personality- they are one in the same.

Hoodie/Brian: Hoodie suffers from Scopophobia. He can’t stand people looking at his skin. It will bring panic attacks among other things. He’s doing exposure therapy. He will wear his mask and hood, but will take his gloves off. Or he will keep his gloves on but will have half his face shown. His eyes must always be covered, in his mind, they are dead. (Look up the Fic tag to read some of these stories I’ve done for this) 

He has a “Sin” book. It has the name and information of every child he has ever had to kill. He believes he is the only one who should kill a child out of the Proxies since he is already damned. Masky/Tim: Has dated Toby, but I think I might drop that idea. It just don’t ship it anymore, but if you guys want I guess I’ll keep it?Tim has dated Jay in the past. Afraid I haven’t done much with him really… Jay/Skully: (TAG: To The Ark) Oh boy- here we go. SPOILERS TO MY To the Ark stuff:Skully was sending Tim/Brian nightmares with codes, many codes (that ya’ll had to decode because I’m a dick) about where he was, what the ark was, and how they must find him. He is alive in the ark. He’s done many fucked up things to trick the others into finding him (This story line is put on hold for a bit, but I will do it! I might just…redo a bit) Alex: …He’s kinda here for my crack-ish ship? And a tool Skully was using at one point. So he’s a blank slate that I can do anything with!—CreepyPastas.Toby: Dated(is dating Tim?) the goof ball. He and BEN have a prank war going on every so often. Has told many stories about how he and the Proxy team got together and shit. Knew about MH in the past, but doesn’t remember that now. No one does. Eyeless Jack: He has a book that belongs to Slender. He has a lot of power (as in social, he’s not that strong) over the others because of this book. This book has the answers on everything from How Jack came to be Eyeless Jack, to how to open the ARK, to how to maybe kill Slender. He protects this book.At one point Jack was a toddler, that was a thing. (Tag: Toddler AU) 

BEN: BEN had a crush on both Toby and Jeff. When Toby and Tim got together, he backed off Toby- sticking to just pranks with him. Jeff at on point tricked BEN into coming out into the middle of the woods, which lead to a freak out and a strain on their friendship. Jeff is also Ace. BEN has the important job to tell the others where Slender is, incase they want to hitch a ride with him to go to some other country without sneaking there.He has also deleted all information of Marble Hornets. The Pasta’s can not look up or find any info on MH, though the public still can. BEN is the only one who knows where everyone is, at every given moment. That’s the most important stuff from the past. And the rest of them?... don’t really have much yet! I’ve been kinda dicking around for the past year. This blog is a blank slate in most ways. I just go the way my followers go. If they make an ask about if X and Y I might do something with that, or maybe not. I have no set plans really. I’m down for almost everything, so I keep going, waiting to see where this story goes. BONUS: Habit has been here more then once. He has taken over Toby’s body at one point.

[vincewillard-1971]

What is Systematic Desensitization?

Systematic desensitization therapy is a behavioral therapy intervention used to treat anxiety, phobias, OCD, and PTSD. It is predicated on the idea that the client has learned a conditioned aversive response (usually fear or digest) to a specific stimulus (Pavlov,1960 [1927], Skinner 1963), and that this association can be broken by counterconditioning (Wolpe 1958;1964).

The stimulus may be a specific situation,such as meeting new people, in the case of arachnophobia. It could also be places, sounds, sights, and events associated with a traumatic experience with PTSD.

Systematic desensitization uses counter conditioning to teach a client a new response to the stimulus using relaxation techniques during graded exposure to the stimulus. In this way, the original fight-or-flight response of the sympathetic nervous system of the parasympathetic nervous system.

The technique is called systematic desensitization, as the counter conditioning graded exposure proceeds systematically through three phases.

1. The client learns relaxation techniques that will counter condition their response to the aversive stimulus.

2. The therapist and client collaborate to produce a hierarchy of the client's intensity of response to the stimulus at different levels of exposure to the stimulus.

3. The client is desensitized to the stimulus through systematically graded exposure to the stimulus and practices relaxation techniques to counter their aversive fight-or-flight response during the exposure.

These easier way to explain this approach is to use real-life examples, which are presented.

Who Developed Systematic Desensitization

Joseph Wolpe (1958; 1964) developed this approach based on his theory of reciprocal inhibition, which found that two polarized emotional responses cannot coexist simultaneously.

In other words, nobody can experience anxiety yet be relaxed at the same time. Wolpe developed his approach when working with veterans suffering from PTSD after second World War.

He used Pavlov's research on classical conditioning (Pavlov, 1960 [1927]) to develop counter conditioning during graded exposure to aversive stimuli that were preventing the veterans from re-entering normal civilian life. With PTSD, specific stimuli, such as sounds, smells, words, and places, had become associated with traumatic experiences.

Wolpe paired a graded exposure to these stimuli with relaxation exercises. Because of the process of reciprocal inhibition, he found the veterans could not feel afraid and relaxed at the same time. He used graded exposure to the stimuli to avoid overwhelming his patients and reinforcing their aversive responses.

Exposure Therapy, Flooding and Systematic Desensitization

While systematic desensitization is based on counter conditioning using reciprocal inhibition, exposure therapy uses graded exposure to the stimulus while positively reinforcing tolerance of anxiety, until the anxiety is gradually extinguished.

Meanwhile, flooding exposes the client to the feared stimulus directly in one session, so that anxiety floods the nervous system, and then reduces until it becomes extinguished.

The proxy with graded exposure is that rising anxiety may be experienced as intolerable, and the client may discontinue therapy. Also, flooding may be experienced as traumatic,lead to further psychological harm, and the termination of therapy.

2 Real-life Examples and Case Studies

The following 2 real-life examples are the easiest way to explain how systematic desensitization works.

1. Systematic Desensitization & Phobia Treatment

Arachnophobia is a relatively common phobia of spiders. When treating this, or any other phobia, the therapist and client would produce a list of scenarios about the feared object or situation and the client would then rate their anxiety levels in each situation on scale of 1 to 10.

These stimulus responses scenarios are ordered from the least intense at the lowest level (1) up to the most intense (10) at the top.

At the start , the therapist might simply discuss spiders and then lead the client through a relaxation practice. Next, the therapist introduces pictures of spiders, and again leads the client through a relaxation practice.

The next step could be watching spiders on video, plus practicing relaxation. With each greater exposure, the therapist is careful not to overwhelm the client. The client's usual fear response is gradually replaced by an increasing sense of relaxation, from in vitro (controlled conditions) to in vitro (real-life) exposures.

Graded exposure are always accompanied by relaxation. Steps could include exposure to a realist plastic spider in the room, then in their hand. Next, a dead spider and asking the client to touch it a stick , then with their hand. After that, the client could be exposed to a transparent container, then the spider with a stick.

Finally, at the highest grade of exposure, they could be in a room alone with a dead spider, then with a spider in a container for a short period, and even a live spider they can trap and remove. This will equip the client with the skills necessary to deal with spiders in real life rather than feeling disabled by their phobia.

With today's technology, it's possible to use what's called VRET, which stands for virtual reality exposure therapy. This is an in-vitro form of systematic desensitization. VRET permits clients to work through each level of their anxiety hierarchy with the added safety and control of virtual reality. VRET can also be conducted remotely or as homework between sessions.

2. Treatment of Anxiety Disorders (OCD)

OCD can often involve a fear of contamination with germs or pathogens. In such cases, systematic desensitization can be very useful intervention. Clients with OCD may experience severe anxiety and panic should they have to use a washroom outside the home, for example. They may manage this by indulging in compulsive hand washing until their skin is raw or even avoid using the washroom altogether, leading to additional health problems.

The principles for dealing with a fear of contamination are broadly similar to those used to overcome phobias,as in our arachnophobia example above. Instead of using a spider, use pictures of objects your client perceives as contaminated or dirty.

Clients with OCD fear contamination from different things, so first, identify the objects and situations they fear most and factor that into a systematic desensitization intervention using the relaxation techniques and worksheets provide below.

2. Examples of Hierarchy

Different hierarchies are used to design a systematic desensitization intervention. One is for use with phobias and the other with OCD.

Ask your client for an example of an object or situation they avoid on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 causing mild discomfort and 10 being panic. For example, if they have a phobia of spiders, then looking at a picture of a spider may make them uncomfortable, say a 2 or 3 while being in a room with a spider may induce panic, scoring 10.

When you initially expose your client to their fear, start at a level that causes some anxiety, but it does not overwhelm them. Then, you ask them to practice their preferred relaxation technique to ease the anxiety until they feel more comfortable and can tolerate the exposure.

Phobia

Step-byStep Guide For Psychologist

This guide takes you through the systematic desensitization process using six steps. These steps should be applied during exposure of increasing intensity, which can be planned ahead using hierarchy worksheets above, and relaxation techniques and worksheets below.

1. Psychoeducation

Educating your client about the aim of systematic desensitization, the methods, and the science behind them is essential. It will assure the client that although treatment will be uncomfortable at times, in the long-term, the approach has a strong evidence base supporting its effectiveness.

2. Establishing hierarchy

After securing the client's willingness to process and agree to treatment, help your client to identify anxiety- provoking or triggering situations. Establish a hierarchy of anxiety/triggers with the assistance of our hierarchy worksheets for phobias and OCD.

3. Design intervention

Use the information obtained from the hierarchy worksheets in our graded exposure worksheets to design a systematic desensitization intervention tailored to your client's specific needs.

4. Relaxation practice

Before proceeding with any graded exposure, invite your client to learn a relaxation practice. Different clients may find one easier or more effective than another. You can choose from progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, or guided visualization. We will describe each below.

5. Treatment plan

Establish the treatment plan with specific dates and times and assure your client they can stop the exposure whenever they need to. It is important that the client feels completely in control of the process and does not endure any trauma that will intensify their problems.

6. Begin

You are now ready to begin. Look at the free worksheets below that detail a six-step systematic desensitization process, beginning with talking about their aversive stimuli, sharing related images, then guided visualization, videos, and finally distant real-life exposure.

The final step would be a real-life supervised exposure to the situation, generating the most intense anxiety.

7. Maintain

To maintain the counter conditioning achieved between sessions, offer your client our Systematic Desensitization Homework Worksheet for use between sessions.

4 Techniques For Your Therapy Session

The following techniques describe relaxation exercises you can use during your session and explain how to plan a graded exposure would with your client.

Handy Relaxation Techniques

1. Progressive muscle relaxation

This exercise has been adapted from a free relaxation exercise offered by the British mental health charity, MIND.

First, the client needs to be comfortable, sitting with their back straight and feet touching the floor, then follow this script.

"Beings by clenching your toes as much as you can for a few seconds, then releasing them. Notice the difference between the two feelings. Then, tense your muscles and take a deep breath in,cans relax as you breath out."

Use this script to move up the body to tense and relax calves , thighs, stomach, shoulders, and hands, asking them to clench and relax each muscle group in turn. You can also add the following.

"Take time to notice any part of your body that feel tense, tight, or tired. Repeat this if you still feel tense until you relax."

The NHS's Every Mind Matters has an audio guide to relaxing your body on Your Tube that you can share with your client to guide them through this exercise between sessions.

For other versions of this technique, please visit our article on progressive muscle relaxation.

2. Guide visualization: a calm place

Alternatively, you can guide your client through a visualization that engages all five senses are take them to a calm place. The Beach is a free pdf which is a script by Dr Prentiss Price of the Counseling and Career Development Center at Georgia Southern University that you can download for and adapt as you wish.

Deep breathing

This practice will be especially useful for clients when they face real-life exposure, whether intentional or unintentional as it can be practiced discreetly in any situation.

Ask the client to simply breath in deeply through the nose to a count of three, and then out through their mouth to a count of three. Sometimes, holding the belly and counting as the breath rises and falls can be especially comforting and relaxing.

Designing your graded exposure plan

Using our Guided Exposure Worksheet, you can design your client's gradual exposure to the aversive stimuli, meaning the object or situation they fear or avoid.

We share additional stages worksheets specifically designed for systemic desensitization sessions of increasing intensity below.

4. Useful Worksheets To Help Clients

These four worksheets describe specific methods for gradually exposing your client to aversive stimuli while counting anxiety by practicing relaxation.

Each worksheet describes a six-step process and how to use the anxiety rating scale.

1. Systematic Desensitization: From Discussion to Images

2. Systematic Desensitization: From Guided Visualization to video

3. Systematic Desensitization: Exposure at a Distance

4. Systematic Desensitization Homework

The homework sheet is provided to maintain the counter conditioning response between sessions. After each session, where you have used any of the first three worksheets, give the client a printed copy of the homework sheet, and show which exercise they must practice.

Helpful Videos On The Topic

This entertaining video describes the origins of systematic desensitization therapy and how it works. Share this with a client who is considering trying the intervention.

2. Systematic Desensitization and Flooding

The video below describes how systematic desensitization works, and the difference between this gradual , controlled approach and the total immersion used during flooding.

The pros and cons of each technique are also discussed.

Tools From Positive Psychology.com.

Positive Psychology.com has additional free worksheet for managing anxiety. Try our Anchor Breathing worksheet to help clients ground themselves when they experience anxiety, and or STOP the PANIC worksheet to manage panic attacks.

Our Positive Psychology Toolkit also contains useful tools to support your Systematic Desensitization treatment plan, including The Consequences of Experiential Avoidance psychoeducation tool. This explains how avoiding feared situations or objects intensifies distress in the long term

17 Positive Psychology Exercises-If you're looking for more science -based ways to help others enhance their well-being, this signature collection 17 validated positive psychology tools for practitioners. Use them to help others flourish and thrive.

A Take Home Message

Systematic desensitization is highly effective, evidence-based behavioral therapy intervention for clients who avoid certain situations, whether this is because they experience phobias, OCD, PTSD.

It differs from graded exposure and flooding because it is based on the principle of reciprocal inhibition, which replaces an aversive response, such as anxiety with learned relaxation.

Importantly, the client is always in control of the intensity of exposure, which avoids further trauma and the compounding of avoidance behaviors

[bates--boy]

Peter tried not to think about that conversation. There was so much more that Peter had to worry about, and he tried to put each and every one of those worries in the forefront of his mind, tried to worry himself sick with choosing voice actors and writing new songs and setting up a child therapist for Caleb and the benefits show. But no matter how much Peter struggled to keep his mind off that fated day, it rammed itself right back to the front of Peter's mind, bellowing loud and refusing to be ignored.

          He's a bad influence on you.

          And sneaking right along with that unwanted memory came a thought that froze Peter.

          Thank goodness he hadn't met Mia, then.

          He tried to think of it in jest, tried to add a wink and nudge laughing tone to the quip, but it took root in an impossibly terrible way. Mia, sweet woman, caring, fun to be around, adores children and the children adore her. But also a drug addict, a wild partier, and a purported homewrecker to boot. (It was the one time! Peter reminded himself. That you know of, his inner contrarian helpfully pointed out.) And because this thought took root in the worst way, it found its way to other names and faces, and Peter didn’t even know if it tainted them or if the taint was already there.

          Ludwig, like an uncle in a way that Ivan isn’t, also a drug addict, and paranoid as all hell with an awful Russian complex that could end up breaking Matthew’s heart. Matthew, gentle soul whose nature has been used against him time and again, also a drug addict.

         Is this the only way to deal with immortality? Addiction?

        Alfred, the golden boy, the favorite brother, the wielder of power envied by almost the entire world. Also the hypocritical adulterer, one foul insult away from reminding his foe why he’s the empire of the world. And Cait, the deceptively cherubic voice in his brother’s ear, finding addiction in power, even by proxy.

          Are these the people I want to surround myself with?

          Francis, chummy and hilarious, never a moment without enriching tales of times passed. But also an alcoholic, and one can’t tell where a high libido ends and a sex addiction begins with him.

         How are we all drowning like this?!

         And Penny.

        Oh, god, Penny--

      “Hm! Sweets, are you okay?”

      Peter sucked in air as if he was dragged to the surface, drinking in Naseem’s scent. These were not the thoughts that Peter wished to have at all, let alone when he had a beautiful man in his arms, his naked body curled against Naseem’s in another round of “exposure therapy”. “Yeah, I am,” Peter replied, his cheek pressed inbetween his love’s shoulder blades, eyes boring into the ceiling above them, taking in the floating dust motes that danced in the afternoon sunlight. 

       “Then can you ease up?” Naseem asked. “You’re crushing me.”

        “Oh!” Peter loosened his arms around the other, kissing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry!”

           Naseem’s belly swell as he inhaled deeply. “Thanks,” he sighed with relief. He settled closer into Peter and rubbed along his forearm. “...Talk to me about it.”

        “About what?” Peter said, pressing his lips just below the spot of the first kiss. He let one of his hands trail down. He wasn’t ready for that sort of touch, not yet, but he found it just as delightful for them both to massage the pelvis, fingers grazing the tuff of hair there, teasing.

           “Don’t distract me, Peter,” Naseem demanded. He reached back to pinch Peter’s thigh.

           “Agh! I’m not! It’s nothing, really! Just a bad dream.” He snickered, then swallowed, placing his cheek against Naseem’s back again. “Just a bad dream about drowning, is all.”

[publichealthcare99]

Great Tips On How To Cope With Cancer

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Great Tips On How To Cope With Cancer

Great Tips On How To Cope With Cancer

When we encounter bad things and big problems in our lives, we can drive ourselves mad if we do not have an outlet for expression. At the very least, we need some help coping with issues from time to time. This is definitely true with cancer. Here are some great tips for helping you to cope with the news that you have cancer.

Great Tips On How To Cope With Cancer

Cancer affects not only the person with the disease, but everyone that loves them. There are many options in dealing with cancer, and there are many options for cures, too. Consult with your doctor on a regular basis.

You can significantly reduce your risk of cancer with a healthy diet full of antioxidants, which help protect cells from damage that can lead to cancerous changes. Eat a diet rich in green, leafy vegetables, tomatoes, broccoli and blueberries as well as hundreds of other antioxidant-rich foods.

If you are a cancer survivor, make sure that you have information about your previous cancer treatments. Unfortunately, cancer comes back with a vengeance sometimes, so keep your records about what surgeries and what types of chemotherapy and radiation therapy you have undergone. This information will help you better communicate with doctors.

Be cautious of contracting a bacterial infection when you’re receiving chemotherapy. After a week or so into the treatment, you can spike a brutal fever and even become septic (blood poisoning). Be very aware of what’s going on with your body in order to keep your strength and health up.

Make sure that at least one person around you understands that they have to act as your proxy for calling the doctor and other things if you are unable. Having cancer means that some days you’re going to be too weak to do what you need to do, so someone else has to take over this responsibility to help.

Have at least one person around you to act as your proxy for calling the doctor if you’re unable to. Having cancer means that some days you will be too weak to do what you need, so you will need someone else to help you with these responsibilities.

There are many vitamins and supplements out there that can help to prevent cancer, but you need to research any and everything before you put it into your body. Do not believe the hype of a product just because it promotes itself as cancer-fighting. Make sure you find out the truth about any item you put into your body.

If you have cancer and expect to be going through chemotherapy then make sure your doctor prescribed some medication to you for nausea. Nausea is one of the most common side effects of chemo and bouts of it can be quite severe. Some good options are zofran, phenergan, and meclizine.

Be mindful of your exposure to BPA. This synthetic estrogen is often found in canned goods, water bottles and other items. Research has shown that BPA has the potential to cause cancer, so try to eat more frozen foods and look for water bottles that are labeled as BPA free.

If you are not feeling well, ask a friend or a family member to take you to your doctor’s appointment. They want to help you and asking them for transportation is safer for you when you are not doing your best. They can also provide company and support throughout the day.

Avoid anemia during cancer treatments by eating foods rich in iron such as liver, green leafy vegetables, molasses and lentils. These foods will boost your iron levels allowing oxygen rich blood to be carried throughout your body and facilitates chemotherapy.

If you accompany a loved one with cancer on a trip to the doctor, don’t hesitate to ask the doctor any questions you may have. You probably have questions, too, and the doctor can help.

Learn self testing methods for detecting breast cancer. Breast cancer is a leading cause of death in women of all ages, and can be identified early through regular breast exams that you can perform at home. If you are able to detect breast cancer early, you could avoid it advancing in stage to a point where your life is in danger.

Get regular mammograms starting at age 40. Early detection is the best way to win the battle against breast cancer. If you are from a high risk family, you may want to discuss starting earlier than 40 for regular screenings. This is going to give you the best chance at beating it.

Beware of the sun even on cloud covered days. The harmful rays of the sun are still making their way through the clouds and to your skin. Keep sunscreen applied even if you do not feel the heat of the sunrays. They are still causing the damage that they would if there was not a cloud in the sky.

Start a journal. Sit down each evening and spend a few times expressing your thoughts and feelings in a private journal. Write poetry if it helps you to get these feelings out. Letting them out, even if nobody else knows them, is going to help you cope with this tough situation.

Find some relaxing music and uplifting books. These are going to be quite helpful in finding a great way to relax and get some positive vibes while doing it. You may find quite a few books out there that will help you through this time in your life and music that is very soothing while battling with cancer.

A great tip for coping with cancer is to anticipate the physical changes you or your loved one will go through. If you research what will happen with your type of cancer and treatment, you will know what to expect and can prepare yourself mentally for the changes that will come.

If you have contracted cancer or if someone you care about, has it, every question you have about the disease suddenly becomes incredibly important. You need urgent answers and you need accurate information. Make sure you use the tips you’ve read in this article to help you out, if ever the time comes.