#it's evil when you remember something but can't find the source. i'm losing my mind.

[dracocheesecake]

Ahem. I just watched all KFP movies and I'm dying for more Kai X reader.

Could you do one where like reader is happening to be at the jade palace because she just happens to be. Could be like the part where Kai takes chi from everyone there and the reader is like 'oh.. Hi?' maybe the reader isn't from the valley of peace! And Kai just kind of decide to take her with him. Cough kidnap cough. And PLEASE DON'T TURN THEM INTO CHI AT THE End. 🥺. Reader slowly starts following for him because big and strong and I'm just rambling at this point. Don't question my sanity. If you can't do, that is fine :p

It's just i have a weird obsession with villains

Oh no you're fine I totally get it XD

Here it is!

General Kai x Fem!Reader: Wrong Place, Wrong Time 

Wrong place, wrong time; You had heard it before, but the meaning behind the phrase had never been so starkly clear to you until now. 

You had fallen asleep in one of the supply closets shortly after you had arrived at the Hall of Heroes. Travel to the Valley of Peace had been rough, and you had only meant to take a quick little nap, alone and undisturbed, so your mind would be sharp enough to get down to some serious study of the many historic kung fu artifacts- but when you awoke, the place was completely deserted, void of anyone, even servants. 

Alright, maybe that should have tipped you off that something wasn’t right. But to be fair, you had been almost completely absorbed by your obsession at the moment, and there was no one to watch you or chastise you for worshipfully touching the artifacts- just a teeeny bit, for further analysis, only- so how could you not take the chance when you had it? 

But then there was shouting from outside, and the place went so strangely dark; an ominous, almost supernatural sort of darkness, not like the candles and burners simply going out; no, this was phosphorescent, eerie and green. It made you feel sick, full of malaise. Quickly you collected yourself- the commotion outside had to mean that someone (a few someones, by the sound) were still present: the Furious Five and Master Shifu. You could go to them and find out what was happening. 

You came close to the doors and knew you would have to find a different mode of escape; it was more than a commotion- it sounded like a full-on battle was going on; but against who? It couldn’t be an army. There would have been many more voices if that were the case, war drums and cries, weapons clashing; but there was only Masters Tigress, Viper, Monkey, and Shifu. They had been the only ones currently at the palace when you had fallen asleep; you remembered that much. 

But there was another voice, a deeper voice you did not recognize- a more menacing voice. 

“Why not? He destroyed mine.” 

The bitterness, the pure hatred behind it, told you all you needed to know, even without hearing the rest of the conversation or seeing the one who spoke. You listened further to the sounds of combat, and knew it wasn’t going well for the Jade Palace. Despite your fear, despite everything, you had to see for certain- not that you could help, but you just at least had to go see with your own eyes, some sort of curiosity demanding you went to confirm your disbelief.

Unnoticed by the combatants (you hoped), you opened the door and rushed onto the portico. Hiding behind one of the wide pillars, you peeked around it to watch the fight in the Master’s Garden- and you immediately gasped in horror at what you saw. Your worst fears were confirmed: the Jade Palace was losing. 

But to whom? You watched the battle, watched as Shifu attacked a hulking figure. It was a bull- a single bull, but…You felt your breath catch in your throat at the mere sight of him: this was no mortal being, you knew immediately.  

No, this was something else. 

He looked demonic, just from the four horns sprouting from his head- like no other bovid you had ever seen before. A hulking figure that exuded raw, evil power. He was the source of the darkness that had come over the world, the source of the green glow of unearthly energy. He swung jade blades from long chains, trying to slice Master Shifu to shreds; but fortunately the red panda was still quick and agile for his age. 

But the Furious Five were not faring well, not against their own. You didn’t know how, it was too horrifying a thought, but your eyes weren't deceived; it seemed Masters Crane and Mantis had been transfigured into jade versions of themselves, and they were attacking the other masters! 

Master Shifu went flying, smacking into the base of the Oogway statue. Tigress managed to get up, rushing to his aid. The bull's eyes glowed green. He lifted a hand that also glowed, beckoning. 

“Bring them to me,” he ordered darkly. 

The jade Crane and Mantis grabbed Masters Monkey and Viper, whisking them towards the bull. You couldn’t look away, transfixed with horror as you watched the bull move his hooves, a flash, and then…

They were gone, and he had new amulets to go along with the collection on his belt. He laughed, a boisterous, fell laugh. Those horrible green eyes were on the remaining Masters. 

You couldn't watch anymore. You had to survive. You ran back into the palace, closing the door behind you and rushing for another escape- or at least a hiding place, should he come looking for you. You couldn’t string your thoughts together, couldn't calm down the rapid pounding of your heart, as if it too were trying to escape the bull. 

A sound- that was all the warning you had. Some impression of the incoming danger forced you down to flatten yourself against the cold polished floors. You threw your arms over your head, whimpering, then screaming as you heard something enormous come crashing through the Jade Palace right above your head. 

Rubble fell over you, but nothing too heavy, by some good fortune. Still, you didn’t rise again for a good while, just in case something else collapsed on top of you, or the bull came; but eventually, the quiet reassured you…and simultaneously, filled you with dread. But you needed to get up, anyway, try to escape. 

You groaned, coughing up dust as you rose again, brushing it off of your clothes. You kept your eyes on your feet for sometime, not wanting to see what had happened- the ruin surrounding you now was already too much to accept. You didn’t need to see the rest, you already knew. You tried to clamber over the ruin, stumbling and tripping as you went- and it only reinforced the facts you couldn’t shield yourself from. 

He had destroyed the Jade Palace. The entire palace. It was rubble. It was gone. 

Your breath came in quick, panicked bursts, and you began to speed through the wreckage without direction- but then you remembered the bull, and fear, ever the teacher, the protector, forced you to slow. To think out your escape. With considerable effort you took control of your lungs, easing your pace to a more steady jog. 

Then you came over the crest of a hill, rounding what remained of the Master’s Garden, and saw him. Instantly terror petrified your body, rooting you to the spot. A breath, two, waiting for your inevitable demise at his hands, to share the fate of the Furious Five and Master Shifu. 

But he wasn’t looking in your direction. By some mercy of the gods of fortune, the bull sat on what remained of the base of Oogway’s statue, gazing at what ruin he had wrought, and so avoided seeing you. You should have taken the opportunity provided by providence to slip away, you knew that- but that conscious knowledge hadn’t been delivered to your feet yet; fear still paralyzed you. 

So having no other choice, you observed him for a minute. You had a good view of him where you stood, a much better view than the slight glimpse you had had from the portico; he had been fighting then, moving around too much for you to really see him. 

He was still a menacing, hulking presence, but now, sitting casually with his forearms draped over his knees, he didn’t seem quite so demonically large as before. A helmet that wasn't of a military fashion from this dynasty sat on his head, giving his heavy brow an even more severe look, even when his expression was relaxed, as now- you didn’t know for certain if he was military, or had belonged to the military: something about his bearing just emanated authority which demanded to be obeyed- only a high-ranking military figure could have that. The rest of his attire, though, wasn’t quite military grade: dirty puttees, brown bracers, and a tattered loincloth. 

The glow had gone from his eyes, so now his expression seemed almost…disappointed, or bored; a conqueror who had laid claim to his prize, only to realize that it was the battle, not the conquest, that made victory sweet. One of his hooves reached up, taking the amulet he had around his neck and stroking it with his thumb. If you hadn’t just witnessed the horrors he had wrought, you almost would have felt bad for him- maybe even gone up to him and asked what’s wrong. 

The thought was sudden, and disturbing. There was no way you would willingly get within fifty miles of him if you could have helped it- so why the thought that you wanted to reassure him? He deserved whatever melancholy he felt, after what he did. Your anguish over the Jade Palace’s destruction broke you out of your paralysis, and you managed to move your foot- and stepped on what felt like a leaf, a soft crunch that seemed horribly loud. 

You let out a slight gasp and looked down. It wasn’t a leaf, but a piece of ancient parchment- possibly the remnants of a scroll that had drifted from the ruins of the Palace. You squinted at it, recognizing in the painting the shape of the bull, and beside him, what looked to be…Master Oogway? Oogway had known him? 

You didn’t have time to contemplate the revelation; you had made too much noise. Your head shot up, gazing in the bull’s direction. His ear twitched, and you tried to duck down to the side of the path, behind a boulder and out of his range of vision- 

Too late. The bull’s glowing green eyes were on you. His eyebrows arched slightly, as if he were somewhat surprised, before his expression flattened back into boredom. You tried to turn and run. 

“Bring her to me,” you heard that rumble behind you, and the next thing you knew, a stone cold, steel grasp was on your wrist. You grunted in pain, then turned and almost screamed when you saw that the jade statue of Master Shifu had you. You tried to twist away, but then it struck you in the ribs. You fell to your knees, breathless and reeling from the pain.

The jade Master Monkey picked you up, and then the jade Master Crane swooped over, snatching you in his talons and dropping you in front of the bull. Your legs reverberated painfully from the impact of landing, but no serious damage was done. You could have ran- if the jade coils of what looked to be Master Viper hadn’t wrapped around you, squeezing your limbs to your sides and strangling the breath from your lungs. You gasped, helpless. 

The yak leaned down more to your level, so that the black tangles of his mane almost curtained you. A pleasant smile was on his face, one that didn’t reflect in those horrible, glowing green eyes- half-lidded, as if this were only an idle chat. From this close, though, you could see a ring of blue surrounding the pupil; it was…lovely, in a way. You never would have noticed, if you hadn’t been so close to him. 

 “Hello, there,” he said. “I thought all of the little Valley people scurried off before I came. Not you?” 

Why did his voice make your spine shiver like this? It had to be fear. You swallowed past the lump in your throat, and tried to choke out some response- a very difficult task, with a jade snake strangling you, and the thumping of your heart. 

“N…No…” 

He tilted his head. “How come?” 

“Fell asleep…i-in-in…cl-closet…no…way…to…” 

You glanced towards the Jade Palace, saw the rubble it now was, and wished you hadn’t. Your gaze quickly returned to him, and you saw he had followed your thoughts. His eyes turned back from the ruins to you, and he smiled. 

“Surprised you managed to survive. Too bad you couldn’t get away unnoticed, though.” 

He chuckled, a deep rumble that sent another one of those strange shivers down your spine. You couldn’t help it, he had some sort of charm you couldn’t describe or reason away. That, and something about his appearance, the slovenly, almost barbaric array, was a little appealing…

You immediately shook off the thoughts. What was wrong with you? There was no way you found this deep voiced, muscular, long haired, strong, powerful, villainous, devilishly charming bovine handsome or anything. 

No. You didn’t. Not at all. It was just fear. After all, you had seen what he had done to the masters. Would that be your fate, too? You watched him, eyes wide, waiting with bated breath for his next move. 

One of his hooves then came up, taking your chin in hand. The blood rushed to your face rather than away from it. 

“Care to tell me what you were doing here, Little Sneak?” He asked. His brows raised archly. “You aren’t one of Oogway’s students, are you? I’m afraid I would have to add you to my collection if you are- nothing personal. At least, not between you and me.” That glint, like the glow of the blades holstered at his hips, flashed in his eyes. 

You swallowed and shook your head. It wasn’t just the jade coils holding you tight that took your breath away, now. He was so close, holding your chin with such gentleness despite the immense strength you knew him capable of…

He nodded. “Alright. Release her.”  

The jade viper uncoiled, and you were able to breathe again. The yak also released you, stepping back. You didn’t stick around to thank him; you turned and started to rush down the path. 

“I didn’t say you were free to go yet,” the bull said sharply, with authority. It made you freeze in place. “Turn around. I’m talking to you.” 

Your body moved as if controlled by his will, slowly rotating on your heel until you were facing him again. You stood where you were, eyes wide, shaking. The severe expression he was wearing eased back into that pleasant smile, the harsh green glow of his eyes dimming.

“That’s better. Now we can discuss what to do with you.” 

He stroked his beard, as if in thought. “Hmmmm…Let’s see…Maybe I will take your chi after all.” 

You felt your heart racing. Your shaking intensified. He cast you a playful grin, one that showed his crooked teeth.

He chuckled. “Or maybe not. But what to do with you? Hmmmm…” 

The bull again pretended to think, stroking his beard. Your eyes shifted around, searching for an exit- but there was none. The entirety of his mountainous bulk blocked the path ahead of you, and the jade masters every other possible escape. You weren’t going to squeeze out of this one easily. 

“Or maybe,” he said, “I could interrogate you for information…But you don’t look like you know very much- not anything useful to me, anyway.” 

He perked up suddenly, clapping his hooves together as if he just had an epiphany. “Oh! I know! I could just…let you go!” 

You couldn’t suppress the reflex that made you look hopeful. He saw it, then burst out laughing. 

“Don’t tell me you fell for that. Nah. Not a chance.” 

He cocked his head to the side, admiring you from the corner of his eye. There was something in that gaze though, something that gleamed in a dangerous way. He had a lazy smile on his muzzle. 

“...You’re cute, for a mortal,” he said softly, appreciatively. “And fun to tease.”

He straightened. Then he chuckled, placing his hooves on his hips, close to his blades. His tone was casual as he spoke. 

“Tell you what,” he said. “I’m not going to take your chi. Wouldn’t be worth it, anyway.” 

The pleasantly lazy smile turned back into a smirk. His voice darkened. “But you’re still coming with me.” 

Your heart leapt into your throat as one of the jade masters- a gorilla, by the looks of it- lifted you and hauled you effortlessly over a shoulder. You grunted, scrambling to try to wriggle free- or at least, get in a slightly more comfortable position. Kai chuckled at your futile attempts, then turned back towards the path. He stretched a little as he walked, and you couldn’t help but admire the view, watching the heavy cords of muscle move under the slate gray fur. Your face was heating up, but you didn’t look away. 

“I don’t know if you overheard my conversation with the Lesser Panda while you were sneaking around, so I’ll explain again. Little Kitten will lead me straight to the panda village,” he said, “and to the Dragon Warrior, too. I’ll take their chi, and then drain every. Single. Panda. There.” 

He stopped in his tracks. The jade gorilla did, too. You were behind him, so you couldn’t see his expression. However, his shoulders started to bounce, and then he burst out into an evil cackle. 

“Then I’ll destroy every last trace of Oogway’s legacy! And then begins The Kai Dynasty!” He let out another evil laugh. Green lightning streaked across the sky, followed by an ominous boom of thunder- whether good timing or some power of his own, you didn’t know. 

You paused, horrified by what you had heard. But then, despite yourself, you piped up: 

“Kai Dynasty?”

He turned to look at you. “What?” 

“...That’s what you’re going to call your evil reign?” 

He furrowed his brow. “Yeah. What’s wrong with it?” 

His tone had been gruff, but there was a slight hesitancy before he spoke, and the way he slumped his shoulders showed that his pride had been wounded. You would have smiled at the absurdity of the entire situation, if it hadn't been so dire. You cleared your throat. 

“Um…No-nothing, it's just a little…cheesy, is all.” 

His eyes flashed, and he narrowed them at you. “How so? You have a better idea?” 

“Well…Maybe the Jade Dynasty?” 

The bovine- Kai, you assumed- glared at you with his strange eyes for a moment in tense silence. Then his posture relaxed again. He chuckled. 

“The Jade Dynasty…I actually like that,” he murmured. That somehow charming, lop-sided smile spread across his face again, along with that strange gleam in his eye- a gleam you were starting to recognize as fondness. “Good idea.” 

Was he starting to like you?...And why were you starting to like him, too? What was wrong with you?

What did you get yourself into? 

[some-name-in-progress]

Week 2, and I'm back with 12 more stories. So I tried to keep a pace of 2 stories per day, but I honestly got tripped up on SpoJoy, and it threw me off. On the bright side, if I make up the 2 stories I missed and keep up with 14 stories per week, I should finish in about 4 1/2 weeks, just around the time for 4th Anni (for reference, if anyone did this method staring from Saki’s first focus, it would take them around 10 weeks). Anyways, here are my thoughts.

What Lies Beyond Guiding a Lost Child:

This event honestly hit kinda hard. The dynamic between Mafuyu and her mother feels painfully real. I know that this is the beginning of Mafuyu being put the metaphorical blender, but this event felt very nice at the end.

Desperate Times?! Island Panic!:

I genuinely forgot that there's an event where WxS nearly dies. I honestly don't have much to say about this event, but I didn't really expect it to really drill the fact that WxS might disband. On the other hand, have this meme from the translator of this event (Arvon Oven)

Let's Enjoy Together! SpoJoy Park:

No offense to any SopJoy shooters, but I don't care for this event much. Nice that there's more character interactions. Also, I'm praying Kanade gets therapy eventually, because what do you mean you don't think you should have fun.

The Vivid Old Tale:

The devs really wanted to see how much foreshadowing they can cram in one event, huh? I can't remember how many times I saw something and thought, "Oh my God, that's evil."

No seek No find:

Saki's honestly such a tragic character; it's a shame most people in this fandom are Tuskasa fans (thisisajokethisisajokethisisajoke). It's great to see her backstory, considering it's one of the best ones in the game and hits like a truck. Shout-out to Karin Isobe for her performance in Chapter 6 because she really performed out of her mind.

close game/OFFLINE:

I remember this was the event that came out on JP when I started playing Project Sekai seriously, so it's nice to finally get to it. This event is fine. It has nice character interactions and funny moments, but I don't feel strongly towards it

Chasing The Sparkle Beyond the Blue Sky:

This event is event is nice. It's your annual beach event, but you can clearly see it affects MMJ. Minori's growth feels especially nice. Also, (Spoilers for Sk8 the infinity) a heartfelt confession between two close friends with warm and cold color pallets in front of an Okinawan beach? Close enough, welcome back, Renga.

And Now, I Wear This Ribbon:

I feel betrayed by you, PRSK Tumblr. When I saw this event first come out on both JP and EN, the impression I got is that this event was about Mizuki’s gender, and I would expect that, but then I actually saw the event. This event is NOT about gender. This event is about using the internet and media as a means of escaping the pain of reality and finding people who accept you. Let's have a real moment for a second; why are you, someone who is probably a nuerodivergent minor, here, enjoying stories about other probably neurodivergent minors? Why do we spend so much time here enjoying this silly little game? The answer? Because you have used escapism to find a source of enjoyment and comfort, and so have I. Whether it be drawing, writing, or some other way of interaction, that's probably why you're here (and probably why you're on Tumblr). The way Mizuki and Ena act is very obviously escapism, and it feels extremely real.

Don't lose faith!:

It's nice to see Leo/need pushing themselves towards their dream so strongly. Their frustration feels very natural, and I like it.

Paint What I Love ♪ Rainbow Canvas:

The event is short and sweet, but it gets its point across well. The way Ena, Honami, and Emu interact is honestly kinda fun, and I honestly hope to see more of this group. Also, Hinata cameo after like a year (I think).

Walk on and on

Nice to see Kohane and Toya more involved in the process of music creation since they feel more removed from Vivid Street than An and Akito due to their backstories. Also:

(This joke is really convenient for this game)

At This Festival Bathed in Twilight:

Nice way to see everyone interact with each other, but that's not as important; let's talk about Mafuyu. I was honestly really surprised to see her open up to Emu and Rui, but good for her, I guess??? This event really opened my eyes to Mafuyu, as I was left with one thought, "Oh, this just depressed." I know that seems like a gross reduction of her character, but once you view it like that, it becomes a lot easier to understand Mafuyu. Throughout the entire game, Mafuyu is treated like someone who's egregiously far gone, but she's still a person. I feel like a good number of people fall into this pit of minimizing Mafuyu to just "emotionless girl" that she feels less like a character and more like an object, and I fell into too, but her characterization here makes it clear that she's still a person with wants and desires, she just needs to dig deep to find them.

Additional thoughts:

I've noticed a lot of overlap in the last few events, from stuff like song making to even stuff like training camps that it honestly feels a bit repetitive to have them so close together, but they feel varied enough to not really be a bother.

Anyways, onto the next batch.

[thefreelanceangel]

Shadowbringers Is Finally Ended

With Patch 5.55 and the official end of the Shadowbringers story, setting up now for Endwalker in November, there are now a few months ahead to grind gear, finish content and reflect on the most recent expansion.

And, without any hyperbole, I can say definitively that I have never in my life been as impressed with a game's writing as I have that of Shadowbringers, both the original expansion and a lot of the patch content. I have... thoughts.

I'm a bit of an outlier; I skipped Stormblood (oops) and went straight from completing Heavensward (which greatly impressed me at the time and still does) into Shadowbringers because I wanted to get a max level character already.

Within the first few cutscenes of Shadowbringers, I was absolutely hooked.

First, let me just say that "monstrous angels" is 100% My Thing. I ADORE the reinterpretation of the standard "Renaissance art angelic figures" into something closer to incomprehensible beings taking on twisted, terrifying appearances. The human mind is a finite thing and comprehending an angel would be as difficult as comprehending infinity; these are things so alien to our experience that assuming they'd be easy to grasp and familiar feels disingenuous to me.

So the sin-eaters and the Lightwardens? SLAP.

Also, the intent behind the usage of "Light" in Shadowbringers was deliberate and purposeful. Our Lord and Savior, Yoshi-P, stated this clearly in his Forbes interview.

"The inception of this idea was very simple: in recent fantasy works, the perception that light equates to good and dark equates to evil is very set in stone, we wanted to shake this up a bit.

"Until this point in Final Fantasy XIV, our players have been Warriors of Light: the hero. However, with Shadowbringers, we leave the Source and embark on a journey to the First, and through this I want our players to discover the truth of the world, as well as think about the real nature of light and dark. That is the theme of Shadowbringers.

"In any case, a light too strong could potentially become evil. Darkness and night are also necessary for the world to maintain its balance; that's the kind of theme we will be shedding light on."

And the themes in Shadowbringers had such an amazing resonance that they were both painfully clear and masterfully executed. Not only was the theme of "balance" clearly executed in the "returning Darkness to a world flooded by Light" goal, but the desire for players to "think about the real nature of light and dark" showed in a multitude of ways.

The Warriors of Light (who we met as the Warriors of Darkness in Heavensward) are, in their home world, reviled. They directly caused the Flood which nearly destroyed their home and although they were able to save it with personal sacrifice, the populace at large is unaware of that sacrifice. The motives behind what the Warriors did is essentially lost to history; all that remains is the perception of their actions and the results thereof.

Motives, however, which you (player and WoL) are privy to.

"At long last, you see. To save our world, we gave our lives. We were just adventurers trying to make our way. An odd job here, a favor there—we never aspired to be Warriors of Light. But word of our deeds spread, and soon people were calling us heroes. They placed their hopes and dreams on our shoulders and bid us fight for all that was good and right. We fought and we fought and we fought...until there was no one left to fight. We won...and now our world is being erased from existence. We did everything right, everything that was asked of us, and still—still it came to this! You of all people should understand! We cannot—we will not falter. We brought our world to the brink of destruction, and now we must save it."

You had that fight with the Warriors of Darkness. You heard Ardbert explain exactly what happened, how they came to the point where they faced off against you, and you saw what happened when they were given the choice to hold back the Flood. And you were there when the one favor Ardbert asked was for the Warriors of Darkness to be taken home.

You see how the First remembers them and it's stark contrast to the heroes you met who were fighting desperately to save people who now spit on their names. History quite clearly has two sides and which you believe is dependent entirely on what information you have.

This becomes even more of a clear theme when you meet Emet-Selch and learn more about the Calamity which led to the entire Zodiark/Hydaelyn duality. Here, your previous experiences with Ascians has painted them solely as "villains." They are established enemies, manipulating events and people in order to attain goals which, to you, are nothing but Calamities.

And yet, as you learn more about the original Source and the Amaurotines that once lived on it, these goals are painted in an entirely new light. Instead of merely seeking to wipe out "the world" for no apparent reason or, at best guess, greater power for their deity Zodiark, the Ascians were striving to repair the damage done by the original Sundering. They, in a manner of speaking, were doing what the Warriors of Darkness were. What you, the Warrior of Light, have been doing. They were trying to restore what was lost.

Which leads into another of Shadowbringers' major themes: grief and loss.

The earliest touches of this are in Alisaie's questlines where you learn about what happens to people tainted by the Light. Families are destroyed, people are transmuted into sin-eaters and those who avoid that fate must stand by and watch as their loved ones fall to something far worse than death. "A Purchase of Fruit" shows you exactly what the end result is while also highlighting something very specific: with no hope of removing the Light's taint, knowing that all that awaits the tainted is a painful transmutation and existence as a sin-eater, those untainted make the best they can of those last days and end the tainted individual's pain before it begins.

Grief, yes. Loss? Absolutely. And yet, this is a loving, compassionate thing that those in Amh Araeng are doing. They face their own grief and loss. Rather than refusing to accept the actuality of their circumstances or refuse to weigh themselves down with taking a decisive action, they make the choice to face their grief and loss directly, even willingly taking on the guilt of their actions rather than leaving the tainted to suffer.

Magnus in Twine lost his wife and son, which immobilizes him. He can't find solance in anything save alcohol and brooding over their graves. It takes outside interference to pull him directly from his grief, to help him see past the loss of his family and look towards the future where life might once again be worth living. His struggle with grief is painfully familiar and so very, very close to many real life struggles that it's extremely poignant.

This struggle with grief is the fight the Ascians are, without question, losing. Let's set aside the "tempering" argument when it comes to Emet-Selch and Elidibus for the moment, largely because it's actually quite true that grief can spur people into committing horrific acts either as a desperate attempt to assuage their own pain (revenge) or make 'things right' in some way (vengeance).

Emet-Selch does not, in fact, properly grieve for Amaurot and the Ancients he knew. He clings to them, as Hythlodaeus tells us, weighed down by an aching sense of loss.

"And though he may carry himself with a certain glib ease, Emet-Selch is not a man to bear his burdens lightly. In fact, I imagine they have only grown heavier with every passing century. ...T'is truly a terrible weight he has chosen to carry."

Quite significantly is the word "chosen" in that. Grief is a process that involves, eventually, letting go of the pain and living with the memories of what was loved and what no longer is. Emet-Selch chooses not to do that. He does not grieve for Amaurot and his lost loved ones; he refuses, no matter how often he mentions his loss, to admit that what is gone is gone.

Elidibus, rather similarly, refuses to accept that the duty he took on when called upon to become Zodiark's heart is finally at an end. That the world he and Emet-Selch originated from is gone. Although he admits that he can barely remember why he's set on this path, he refuses to turn away from him.

One won't forget, one can barely remember--neither will grieve and let go.

Even the Ascians' characteristic arrogance and disdain for what they consider "lesser beings" is easy to read as their long-lasting struggle with grief. Considering the Sundering, all the beings that the Ascians are so disdainful of are, in fact, echoes of that which they once knew. If they acknowledged that, accepted those beings as what they are and perhaps even admitted they had worth... well... Rather like realizing abruptly that you've spent a whole day without thinking of someone recently departed, it feels like a betrayal.

To find value in the worlds as they currently are, to turn away from the duty they were asked to uphold, to choose to lay down the memories of the past are all, in essence, choices the Ascians will not make because to do so would be to let go of what's lost, to move into the acceptance of grief and that can feel like betraying those whose memories are slowly fading.

Emet-Selch's end--"Remember us."--is directly tied to his refusal to forget. To let himself have even one day without hoping for an eventuality that's highly unlikely regardless of effort, without remembering the Sundering and the Final Days. He remembered, forcefully and tenaciously, and wishes that legacy to live beyond him.

While Elidibus, in remembering, unable to deny failure any longer, finally expresses grief and loss. "My people. My brothers. ...My friends. Stay strong. Keep the faith. At duty's end, we will meet again. We will. We will. The rains have ceased, and we have been graced with another beautiful day. But you are not here to see it."

And coming from villains, quite specifically from villains that have been largely indistinct "puppet master" figures throughout the previous expansions, these story arcs were a punch to the gut. (Yes, I had to pause writing this to cry helplessly over Elidibus again because my gods, that last line just...) Villains are at their best in fiction when they're relatable. When it's so very easy to see that thin line between villain and hero.

Faced with the loss of everything you'd ever loved, with the faintest possibility of getting it back, what would you do? What wouldn't you do? Yes, the Ascians did terrible things and that's undeniable. Stopping them was necessary to save hundreds of thousands of lives. And doing so, being victorious, didn't feel like a victory and that is such a rare, rare thing in media. The Warrior of Light does the right thing, but in doing so, must face the fact that those they've been fighting have hopes and dreams and feelings and pain as real and as motivating as theirs.

And Shadowbringers does such an impressive job of turning those standard tropes around. Heroes are a dime a dozen because if you just awaken them, as Elidibus did with the starshower, well, there can be dozens of Warriors running around. Villains have heart-wrenching motivations and relatable reasons for their goals. History is multi-faceted and no one person knows what the "truth" truly is. Grief can spur people to helping others (i.e. the tank Role Quest ending) or it can fester and go unhealed and create nothing but more destruction.

There is so much that Shadowbringers did beautifully, I don't have the time to touch on all of it. The lack of "breaking the flawed system fixes everything" trope following Eulmore's liberation from Vauthry and the struggles that Eulmore faces in trying to build a functional, working social order for themselves. Embracing the value of childish dreams and tending to the smallest, most overlooked victims of trauma with the Pixie Tribal Quests. Dealing with a commander whose soldiers died and seeing Lyna's survivor's guilt. Seeing how having a single, unified goal can inspire and rally people into putting differences aside and helping each other.

Shadowbringers has finally ended with Patch 5.55. The story on the First ended with Patch 5.3. And all I can say is that this is a game that I will never forget.

[obserfdom]

False God, Kaylor's New Anthem

False God - the sexiest part of the album, Lover, (similar to the flirtatious Dress in Reputation) to me personally, has a intriguing meaning. I have searched the web to see what analyses so far regarding the lyrics. Nothing much, mostly saying that it is about Joe Alwyn. Okay, let's debunk this one. 'Cause I also know that Kaylors have an interpretation from the gay's angle.

I think, I can speak on both perspectives, since I've been in both. I once married, however my biggest love life relationship was with woman. So, I am really curious to know, in what angle did Taylor actually write this song.

***

We were crazy to think. Crazy to think that "this" could work -> okay, since almost everyone out there agree that FG about love/relationship, so "this" referring to Taylor relationship (lover).

Now, don't you think it kinda strange that Taylor having a doubt about her relationship with Joe? I mean, she was 27th when she first met Joe & with enough experiences in relationship already, not to mention Joe is also coming from almost the same background, apart from different country and Joe gained celebrity status from the cinematic industry, but still I mean, what is so crazy about starting a "heteronormative" relationship like that?

Unless... she was talking about a "different kind" of relationship - something, which in general, still being perceived as 'abnormal'...

Hmmm, interesting.

But wait, there's another way to translate it, that somehow during that moment she was having an existential crisis. She questioned a lot of thing: the meaning of being celebrity i.e. she worked so hard to pursue her dream whilst at the same time she was devastated by the facts that people whom she thought once friends, stabbed her from the back - or that strangers would start to belittle & mocking her for everything - she had trust issue, she started losing confidence, she hold grudge, she was in emotional turbulance (these loosely translation based on her interviews).

Hence: she thought to drag someone to her "crazy" world would be tenacious.

Remember how I said I'd die for you? --> seems like she was really madly in love here

We were stupid to jump --> yet they've decided to taste the water anyhow

In the ocean separating us. Remember how I'd fly to you?

--> ok, again, this does fit Joe. Cause taking it in literal sense, then it probably about her had to fly back n forth US-UK.

However, Karlie still fits the role as well, I think, since they both doing a busy life, mostly continental apart.

Whoever it was for, metaphorically speaking it is about how she was making a sacrifice for the relationship to work.

And I can't talk to you when you're like this

--> later we would comprehend that Taylor was talking about a moment when her and lover had some feud. When she restrospected how during the couple-fight, her beau would:

Staring out the window

(I imagine her beau stood still, in silence, gazed through the window) avoiding to look her in the face, thus she thought:

like I'm not your favorite town

!!! What is her beau fave town?

I'm New York City

(yeah, baby!) And whose fav city is New York? Karlie Kloss!

"Well, Joe can also regard NYC as his fave city..." True - but, Taylor wouldn't be writing something that has no common reference to it. I've googled Joe's city preference and came out with null results. While as for Karlie Kloss, almost everywhere - you can find her boasting around about how much she loves NYC. As a matter of fact - she was the one who convinced Taylor to move to NYC in 2014 (and Taylor has been in love to the city, since).

Furthermore the next lyrics kinda congruent to the above speculation:

I still do it for you, babe

--> "I moved to NYC still staying here to date because of you." See, it still a close referrence to Karlie.

Can you come out with different translation that lead to Joe, instead? If you do, please let me know in the comment.

They all warned us about times like this. They say the road gets hard and you get lost

--> this one is really interesting. We all know Joe and Taylor still together and that Taylor somehow bragging about how happy in relationship she is now. But here as if like her saying that 'something happened to the couple' in FG story. Something big and terrible - something that might cause them to split/break apart.

And she kinda blame, the reason why it happened cause:

When you're led by blind faith. Blind faith

--> what is the meaning of "blind faith" in term of falling in love? Yes, when you are so in love that you are willing to do anything to retain or to be in it. You disregard everything, cause you are so drunk inside the pool of love, lust, altogether. You become 'blind'.

Ok, let's speak in het point a view, first - do you think, you see a magical spark when seeing Joe with Taylor out and about? Hard to tell? Okay, fair enough.

But here, an excerpt from Rolling Stone interview:

Her paused after accentuated the word "if"... to me is her showing hesitation even doubt to the idea of having a family.

Kinda weird coming from her current public image in Lover Era where she continue asserting how happy she is and how seems like, she has found the love of her life.

Further in FG she asserted that she is madly in love with someone whom she willing to die for - to fly across ocean for - so much intoxicated by love as if like having a blind faith!

Unless... the love of her life which she depicted in FG is...

in which because of that, for her to think of the ideas of: 'to be together, be a family'; would be a crazy notion and hard to imagine.

***

Yet, she also made it clear in FG, despite the odd, she was not ready to release the idea of 'stick together for good', because she thought there is still possibility that:

(But) we might just get away with it

***

The following lyrics to me, kinda raw and blatant:

Religion's in your lips. Even if it's a false god. We'd still worship.

(We might just get away with it)

The altar is my hips.

Lips & hips -> you imagine anything? (Lol).

Why False God? Clearly, she still talking about love:

Even if it's a false god. We'd still worship this love.

So in another word, Taylor using False God as a metaphor for passionate love she was experiencing with someone.

But why False God?

My take using gay perspective: is because we know how most religions condemn homosexuality. So with probably her involved in the same sex relationship, which would be considered sin or false by many, this probably her way of saying: "I don't care. I have all the rights to love whomever I want to love, regardless what society in heterenormative world would think!"

Next:

I know heaven's a thing. I go there when you touch me, honey. Hell is when I fight with you. But we can patch it up good. Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness. Got the wine for you.

In general sense, the narrative here is about normal things happen in relationship. It's about having differences inside romance - a fight, a quarrel- then "kiss and make up".

But again, it is interesting how she chose the religious term like 'hell' and 'heaven' to equate her romantic endeavours.

This can't stop me from thinking that she actually is talking about sacred-secret love which against religious belief.

(Again, her way in saying: "I don't care your heaven or hell! I have my own, in this love-life story of mine!").

I would also like to re-iterate: "Got the wine for you" - seemingly her 'make up' sentence for her beau. But it is interesting to think about her chosen word "wine" there. It could mean literally that they both do love wine or...

"intimate love" - ok very much correlated. Yet further from the same source (wiki), wine (alcohol in general) often perceived as "evil".

So in which way, Taylor denoted "wine"? If its in devilish way, yes, then it is another mockery from her to religious dogma as if like saying: "I don't mind being perceived as evil. Me and lover will continue doing what we are doing!"

And you can't talk to me when I'm like this. Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you.

Hehe, so woman, don't you think? ;)

You're the West Village. You still do it for me, babe.

A shout out to Kaylors on this. Cause west village in literal meaning is a place where Karlie once lived.

Is there any other meaning for West Village? Yes, a big maybe. But unfortunately, I couldn't find any. Perhaps, you can dig on that and tell me later?

Finally, when come back to:

They all warned us about times like this. They say the road gets hard and you get lost

--> if we persevere with Karlie's scenario - then one could imagine this depiction is perfectly suitable to the Kaylors conspiracy theory.

How we speculated that their relationship in trouble - they chose to beard for their career sake - beside continue "behind the scene" with their LOVE that worthy eternal worshipping.

Sounds too delusional?

Perhaps. But since it is still a blank space, one owns a prerogative to write things accordingly. And False God is a love letter from Taylor Swift to Karlie Kloss? I'd say ameen to that!

xxx

Update: Joe Alwyn Fave City (thank you @dodsdmr for this info)