#it's even more hilarious now
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WHERE IS HE D:
(sorry for deleting and posting this again 🙇♂️🙇♂️ one tiny insignificant thing was bothering me and when I edited it it wouldn't show on reblogs and that kinda made me go 😠😠😠)
#HARRY NO#CROWLEY THIS ISNT FUNNY#CROWLEYYYYYYYY#this was hilarious in my head#it's even more hilarious now#don't worry Harry is safe#Crowley is just simply in the mood for giving his angel a teensy weensy heart attack#or maybe he's just processing the question#maybe he's trying to locate the rabbit by using his ✨snaky sense✨#nahhh he knows where the rabbit is he's just messing around#(he had to watch Aziraphale practice his amazing magic tricks for the entire week leading up to this)#(can you blame him for doing some ✨magic tricks✨ of his own)#(he's a fast learner okay)#(he sure can make rabbits disappear)#(THE RABBIT IS FINE I SWEAR)#(YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME)#(WHEN HAVE I EVER LIED TO YOU)#(AM I NOT TRUSTWORTHY GUYS?????)#Crowley what do you mean “blelele”#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable idiots#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#harry the rabbit
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out of the closet dan and phil preaching about how rpf is great actually is just so funny. like yeah man you guys just get free porn written about you and your boyfriend, of course you're pro rpf
#i know phil kind of sort of was like um maybe be careful in his fanfic video but mostly theyre just like WE love it :) so it's good :)#they're not even the ones saying it but the more they interact with our rpf is fine memes im like HDSJKFHDSKFS#like *i* love rpf but they've fully got friends who've been shipped and very much didn't like it#but dnp are like. ok not our problem. rpf forever#i do think if you asked them seriously they would have a much more nuanced answer but right now it just looks hilarious#phan
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Another de-aged Danny au, but he's with Dan & Ellie & Jazz as well.
Jason has like just arrived back to Gotham, caused chaos in the underbelly due to well, 8 heads in a duffle bag, and is just starting his takeover of Crime Alley. It's going good, great even! And then he busts some sort of gang or smuggling ring run by people in white suits and there's... holy shit why do these four toddlers have Lazarus eyes?!
Is that a lab?! And Lazarus waters?! Jason might be a bit mad but he's not an asshole, he's not going to just leave these kids here to the streets. He can't just take them to the Batclan either, and as much as he begrudgingly trusts Talia, he sure as fuck doesn't trust Ras. Who knows what he'd do to four... what are they, pit-kids?
Now he's juggling his whole revenge-thing, running a criminal empire, taking over Gotham's underbelly, and being a single dad. At least the goonion seems to be down for helping, seeing as he's making Crime Alley safer...? .... Fuck he needs some proper sleep
#Jason adopts the Fenton Siblings Au#de-aged phantom#dcxdp#danny fenton#jazz fenton#jordan fenton#dan fenton#dani fenton#ellie fenton#prompts#Dan & Jazz are somewhere between 5 to 6#Ellie & Danny are closer to like 3 or 4#Jason now has 4 baby eldritch toddlers to care for#even more hilarious when he breaks into another GIW lab and finds another pair of kids#This uh#might be a problem#He's not becoming Bruce is he???#he definitely doesn't find lil bby liminals sam and tucker nope#The phantom siblings: Another halfa???#One whose not a fruitloop???#New dad they guess#Gotham is happy their lil red knight has his own lil haunt of ghostlings#Some of the goonion might get more liminal#Jason definitely gives off uncanny valley vibes#He's crime alley's reaper and angel all into one#Batfam can't get info on this new player because nobody is talking#They don't want the kids to be at risk#or for batman to steal them#Jason: Huh I would have thought Bruce would be giving more trouble...#Goonion: :)
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When you said that the unluckiest person is most hopeful, it reminded me of Nagito Komaeda. If the universe were combined, do you think he would fair well having Anti Cosmo as his anti fairy?
Funnily enough, I feel like it would be Hajime who would have an anti-fairy companion. I mean, he’s surrounded by extremely skilled people! That would attract bad luck in some way for him. Nagito wouldn’t be good food for anti-fairies. Or Fairies. Or Pixies.
...Honestly, Fairies aren’t quite sure what food he produces. It’s like a weird amalgamation of luck, desire, greed, and all sorts of emotions they can’t disentangle. Like a crockpot gone horribly horribly wrong. Eating any bit of that would make any fairy sick.
Eugh. The hell is wrong with that one.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop anti cosmo#anti cosmo#danganronpa#nagito komaeda#hajime hinata#asks#itty bitties fop au#this man has been haunting me for. TWO weeks now.#nagito komaeda get the FUCK out of my inbox#GIT#GIT GIT GIT!!!!!#i guess we doing danganronpa now#i dont think there's any fairy that would put up with whatever the fuck he's got going on.#although the fucking. idea of fairies and danganronpa existing in the same plane is pretty fucking hilarious.#i can just imagine hajime's day getting worse and worse#like. imagine showing up to school. Nope. not school. a fuckgin BEACH. and some fuckgin RABBIT shows up and does weird shit#even worse you go to your room and there's a blue bitch in there.#well. i guess it gets even more and more worse what with the killer bear and the friends killing each other thing#but hey! at least you got yourself a weird blue fucking thing that only you can see!!!#and it keeps taunting you every time you do something cringe. and wont even bother helping you with ANY of your investigations.#and nobody has any fuckign idea what youre saying !!!#well except maybe gundam tanaka.
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gamer alberu.....
#im obssessed this is the most hilarious thing to me#alberu crossman#lcf#tcf#my art#he's such a loser (i love him even more now)
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I love how this was just a little theater performance for soukoku. Dazai’s dramatic acting once he “realized” Chuuya was there. Chuuya’s vampire noises. Dazai’s overdramatic speech about memories… the long pause before the cheerfully fake goodbye. Dazai’s annoyed look when Fyodor was talking shit about his and chuuya’s bond (he probably felt so smug on the inside). Dazai’s other speech about the power of friendship and their fate that was completely unnecessary because he knew that Chuuya wasn’t actually possessed. Chuuya fake shooting Dazai in the head, which they have extensively trained for in the past. Their commitment to the bit is everything
#I love Angst but I love skk being little shits even more#Chuuya shooting him in the head to interrupt his speech about fate and destiny feels personal now#like Chuuya was really like: we all know this is just a bit… shut up…#all of this really makes the whole meursault arc hilarious af#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bsd spoilers#bsd s5#chuuya nakahara#soukoku#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#osamu dazai
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no thoughts just kevin being such a little nerd that he went out of his way and convinced riko to be a history major with him
#partially this is in my head because it’s fucking hilarious#but also it lends more importance to kevin’s major#like he genuinely has a passion for something outside of exy#enough that he actually pursued it even though it caused extra work for him that could have been focused on exy#idk this started with me cracking up of riko scourge-of-the-masses-king-of-exy being a fucking history major#but now i’m emotional about 17 year old kevin finding a way to have a life outside of the sport even if he still had riko with him#like he actually wanted something besides exy#idk why this is important to me but it is#all for the game#aftg#tsc#the sunshine court#tsc spoilers#the sunshine court spoilers#kevin day
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Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)
This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)
I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)
Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!
Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!
He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!
Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.
Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:
I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao
Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)
Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:
He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.
To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.
Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)
A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~
The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D
No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.
I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:
He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)
And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:
Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:
Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)
whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now
I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE
#fanart#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#stanley pines#the love god#human bill cipher#human bill design#fashion design#comics#poor stan gets to find out his twin boinked a triangle when the love god shows up at the mystery shack demanding payment LMAO#cue internal panic for stan as dipper and mabel lose their collective shit over the fact that they now have a surprise new grunkle bill#the love god helps himself get paid by teaching the kids how to trap bill in his human vessel for the foreseeable future#bill is bewildered and pissed but also very much 'holy shit i have a FAMILY again??? neat but terrifying??????? what the F*CK do i do now'#he then proceeds to attempt to lovebomb his new family into being okay with the impending apocalypse#all while the three of them attempt to lovebomb HIM into giving up his plans for said impending apocalypse#then two days later ford shows up and is just like. what the ACTUAL F*CK IS HAPPENING???#cue stan immediately screaming 'I HAD TO PRETEND TO BE THAT THING'S HUSBAND FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT SO F*CK YOU AND YOUR BAD TASTE FOR THAT!'#stan spends those two days straight dropping very sour hints that he's being punished for someone else's terrible mistakes#bill finds this absolutely hilarious and thus plays along - but not without dropping his own hints that ford is the FAR superior twin#dipper and mabel have ZERO idea of what is actually going on because the love god did NOTHING to clarify the situation#dipper is convinced that stan and bill are speaking in some kind of bizarre code that only adults can understand#mabel is convinced that the code is flirting - which means stan and bill are going to live happily ever after and have tons of kids + pets#NEITHER of them are prepared for ford showing up. not that they were in canon. but still. now it's even MORE crazy#'what do you mean we get TWO NEW GRUNKLES???' 'two grunkles in two days - gotta be some kinda record'#ford then has to decide if he wants to remain justifiably furious at bill or join the other pines in lovebombing him into submission#he then gets to learn that lovebombing bill works surprisingly well because that triangle is just The Biggest Attention Wh*re#the entire AU would just be ridiculous antics with a splash of billford#these tags are an abomination lmao
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I love shipping characters who hate each other in canon.
I love shipping characters who have had exactly one (1) conversation in canon.
I love shipping characters who have never met in canon.
I love shipping characters from different pieces of media.
It starts off silly. The notion of the pairing is so weird, so unexpected and seemingly dumb that it makes me laugh a little, perk up, look into it and see if this is really a thing.
And then it becomes a joke. Haha, look at this ship I’m shipping ironically, isn’t it silly, it would obviously never work out in canon but I’m looking at it and producing content for it anyway because it’s fun.
But as time goes on, it starts filling my feed. I start thinking about it - really thinking about it. Why did someone put these characters together in the first place? How would they really interact? How did they end up together, and why would they stay together?
What started out as a joke becomes a diving-off point, an opportunity to really think about both characters. The dynamic isn’t canon, so it’s yours to shape. The dynamic isn’t canon, so now you must delve into each character on your own, figure out how you perceive and understand both of them, learn to see them in a different light. What started out as a joke encourages you to dig deeper, think harder, fall even more in love with those characters as you consider the potentials which lie outside of canon, but which ultimately trace their roots through the core of the characters themselves.
Because by their very nature, crackships and rarepairs are not based on plot, and they are not based on canon. They are so seemingly random and odd that they disrupt your typical view of these characters, making you think more deeply about them. The non-canon ships you embrace or reject can inform your perception of these characters on a deep level. They can make you cry just as easily as they make you laugh. They add so much flavor.
And they can also be really, really funny.
#the slippery slope from ironically shipping something to genuinely loving it#I have slid down that slope on countless occasions#fiddlestan#stan x fiddleford#krerdly#kerdly#kris x berdly#ineffable bureaucracy#gabriel x beelzebub#(yes I know this is canon now which makes me SO HAPPY even if it’s not how I originally imagined it)#(but I shipped this back in 2019 when it was very much a crackship)#sabosan#sabo x sanji#rarepair#(the sabo sanji parallels are so beautiful i wish they’d be explored more)#(also the idea of sanji somehow netting both of luffy’s brothers is hilarious to me for some reason)#napstabloook x sans#gah I know I ship more rarepairs than this but i can’t think of any off the top of my head#some of these ships have actually gotten decently popular which makes me so happy#and yes a lot of crackship content is just for the jokes#crackship#but I overthink everything#so much character analysis for me has come from crackships#I don’t know I just find so much delight in them#anyway this was my ode to silly ships#canon is delightful but there are good things outside canon too#shipping#(though as much as this post is a love letter to shipping this does not include pro ships)#(sorry not sorry)#madbard rambles
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It's 2am and I can't sleep, have this silly doodle
#art#zkretchy#dragon age 2#da2#hawke#anders#kirkwall may be our home and it felt homey in the way that smth is familiar and thus comforting#but also....boi is it a shithole#our shithole(affectionate)(and derogatory lets be real)#everyone: btw kirkwall is a shithole and apparently the veil is fucked there which is why everyone went crazy#its hilarious to start w/ 2 and then go into inquisition#where the first things ppl tell you is that many circles are actually p chill/normal and people were trying to achieve peace#between mages and templars before everything blew up (unrelated to anders)#vs kirkwall where basically the first thing you get told is all mages bad and the circle? even worse actually!#and everyone and their grandmother-mage uses bloodmagic(such evil :O) and turns into a demon one way or another#and the conflict is...there in da:i sure but not as prevelant at the start at the very least#ppl are much more chill about mages minus the rebel ones AND agree that templars can fuck up actually and not be good at their job in any w#diversity win: factions not led by fade-crazed-driven mage nor red-lyrium templar#as of right now....i am not trusting anyone anymore....keeping my eyes on all of my companions now lest they build a bomb again w/out telli
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[1] [3]
#I only make these late at night when i have something important the next day#and then i wake up the next day and theyre 100% not as funny as i thought they were the night before#but right now i think im hilarious so#youre welcome#text post#textpost meme#one piece text posts#one piece#monkey d. luffy#one piece luffy#donquixote doflamingo#trafalgar law#dracule mihawk#buggy the clown#akainu sakazuki#fujitora issho#boa hancock#kyros one piece#lots of doffy this time i realize#i have even more of him#hes just so..meme-able#and also i cant stop thinking about him#a severe case of bird man brain rot syndrome#help.. or dont#goodnight
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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)
#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head#ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it#like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like#kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all#and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo#and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like#now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay#kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello#why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine#but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him#they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like#it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met#kurama and hiei#kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back#they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan#yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc#and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing#it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next#cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe#okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept#kuwameshi#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#yusuke urameshi#koenma
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Prompt 217
Babies can die if they don’t have enough physical contact. This is something that is known, but Talia does not have time to spend with her twins, and it’s not like she carried them thanks to the false Lazarus womb, so she didn’t even have that excuse to use.
What she did have, was a near braindead teen who could be taught things through muscle memory.
Which is how Jason ended up caring for a pair of toddlers between any training, even after his dip in the Pit. Well, he cared for them until he left for Gotham, to enact his plans, even if he continued to call them every week.
But that wasn’t enough for little Damian and Danyal.
Where had their caretaker gone? Away from them? Where is Baba? Across the sea? Unacceptable. They will not stand for this!
Which in turn, is how Jason discovers his the twins outside his safehouse window, having somehow made it to Gotham on their own- what the fuck, kids!?
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#Dad Hood#Jason can’t even go to a meeting without the kids clinging to him & are willing to cut off a hand or two#They’re even more ecto contaminated then the rest of the League of Assassins#Danny might not have all the powers he has in canon but he’s still Liminal as Fuck#The bats when investigating Red Hood after the Duffle Bag Incident find out he has a pair of small children#Who are very clingy & who he is very protective of#Also who he speaks to in League Dialect- TALIA ANSWER YOUR PHONE#It’d be hilarious if Talia refers to Jason/Hood as OUR son & now Bruce is spiraling because WHAT DO U MEAN TALIA- DON’T HANG UP-#WHAT DO YOU MEAN OUR SON-
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happy 15 years of the duo that moulded me into the being i am today, it’s been a wild 14 years of my life and i wouldn’t have it any other way. love yall
#sorry a bit late and used up all my emotional captions already bjt#i really wouldn’t be who i am without them#idk if id even be here in all honesty#they were the one constant in my life#hilarious that despite everything dan was still more present than my father ever was#i so sleepy i’m gonna end up yapping for half an hour w no filter so i shush now#i just Love Them So Many#i hope they have some semblance of an idea of the impact they’ve made#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan and phil#dan howell#phil lester#danisnotonfire#15 years of dan and phil#incomprehensible#ugh may as well#phan#sry#btw yes am 2010 phannie butterfingers was my first video etc etc i know 12 year olds should not have been watching dan howell but THEY WERE💕
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Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating
NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around
#and you raise a very hilarious point too LMFAO#not that he is jealous. just mad as hell its not working <3 I LIKE HIM VERY MUCH AND A NORMAL AMOUNT#to be clear i think his characterisation changed dramatically from wigmaker's job and a lot of his uh#very rash decisions about achieving power feels like they just needed a traitor character for lucanis#to really max out the use of spite. i really wish honestly that there was some canon support for illario#who would probably be a little more liked/popular than lucanis. bc lucanis is respected by the crows#but he's also a very distant 'dellamorte heir' figure. respect is not the same as being liked. so you know#there's the serious assassin with a rep for how good he is at killing#and there's a friendlier assassin with a rep for sweet talking#and neither of those reputations are necessarily true. but i know which one i'd be less afraid of#and i think illario would know that. and be able to use that. BUT WE DONT GET IT. WHATEVER.....#illario dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#answered#also we're introduced to an illario that understands being a crow. and has had all that drilled into him since childhood#why. would he. ally with the venatori.#why would he put himself into a situation that he couldnt control. other than 'the story needs a villain'#what im trying to say. is . there were the makings of a crow civil war here that ends with him tragically dead#if you asked me to expand on this i dont think i could. but like the main issue being the crows not standing together making#the antaam invasion worse (btw regarding this why the fuck were the antaam even invading) so lucanis' quest is#idk. something like uniting the crows together and potentially repairing his relationship w illario#or hardening him and convincing he needs to kill illario#this is me spitballing. dont even mind me#(glances at the 'illario mention' alarm going off in the background)#EDIT: AND ALSO IT JUST CAME TO ME#killing illario as an ending also makes lucanis first talon (oh we're really in the cycles now)#forgiving illario ends with illario becoming 'talon' tho he and lucanis work closely. like a ceo vs cfo#and ends with them repairing their relationship#in the ideal world lucanis would fully leave but im alright with crows making small steps towards becoming a bit healthier
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I think it's really annoying that leo has completely falsified memories of jason too and this is barely acknowledged in the books
#it is also barely acknowledged by the fandom but I blame the books for that#call me crazy but I think that's a big deal actually!#he grew up with nothing! no close friends! now his memories of his best friends are fake!#the whole tlh gang obviously become close in the end but I just think leo and jason in particular warranted more thought#rick clearly doesn't dwell on it with leo bc friendships and romance are not given the same weight#one of the first things pov jason says about leo is “if someone like this guy is my friend then my life must be messed up”#(not a callout of jason I think it was hilarious and understandable. he is So Confused)#but idk instead leo's reaction in the books is mostly framed as Ok finally I don't have to be the third wheel anymore#Wait fuck they're dating again anyway!#which is also understandable but I would love to also see him Struggle More with the fact that those memories aren't even real to begin wit#something something friendships are just as valuable and significant and consequential as romances#leo valdez#jason grace#rr crit#<- this is barely a fleshed out criticism of the books themselves but just in case#pjo hoo toa#I could say something about how people hate jiper for this same reason but I won't bc I don't care about jiper really#beyond my general feelings that the way their breakup was written was one of rick's worst writing moments
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