#it's clear from his post that he's been lied to ignored and disrespected

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

I feel like it shouldn't need to be said, but a relatively faithful adaptation of the source material is actually a very normal and reasonable thing for both an author and that author's fanbase to want. People can sneer about book purists all they want but it's the rare adaptation that surpasses the original, and HotD does not even come close.

[mercymaker]

i spent quite a bit of time thinking, considering my options and wondering if i should even respond to the 'apology' to begin with, but i feel like i've been here before, in this exact same position (i didn't respond to his original 'apology' because it felt off how he omitted the fact that he pretended to be the victim for a whole week, but even then i decided to not say anything and just let the dust settle and give him a chance to learn and do better) and doing nothing eventually just caused more harm. even if i can't reach the other side and find common understanding, i wanted to at least express what's been on my mind for such a long time.

i always try to approach people and situations with understanding and try to assume ignorance instead of malice when someone says or does something i consider questionable or wrong. but i also know we all have our limits. we are all human. and you can't take the heart out of the equation.

one thing in this 'apology' that really stood out to me was this:

how is it not malice to completely disregard another creator, hell, another person and their wishes and feelings when they have made it very clear that your actions are causing them harm?

how is it not malice to outright lie and misrepresent other people and situations in order to portray yourself in a better light?

how is it not malice to disrespect the people you've stolen from and then, after they (by your own words!) rightfully address it and try to bring your actions to light, you then turn around and vilify them to your friends and followers? portray them as bullies and gatekeepers?

all while repeating again and again how the whole experience made you stop creating? as if your actions didn't force people out of this space, this fandom? have you ever sat down to think how the person that made you a 40 minute video tutorial on gif making, the person that taught you so much, no longer makes anything at all because you turned your back on her and copied her sets? kept doing it after she blocked you? after she made text posts expressing how upsetting your behaviour was? you didn't care and kept doing it anyway. even saying things like 'i always credit where credit is due' in response to copying numerous sets from @minthara, down to the caption without ever crediting her.

and if that wasn't enough harm, you then took it a notch further and straight up lied to the people around you, trying to vilify petra and i by saying how the whole thing should've been dealt with in private. how is it not malice to omit the fact that I DID, in fact, reach out to you privately. that i did it in a civil manner. that i tried to explain to you how your actions were wrong and were rightfully upsetting other creators. how you ignored everything i've said and when i expressed that your response (or lack of it) made me uncomfortable and that because of it i couldn't give you permission to 'recreate' (copy) my work, you then insulted me and told me that it didn't matter what i wanted? that you would do as you please and there was nothing i could do about it? how you then immediately blocked me so i couldn't even respond? how is that not malice?

and then this was from your apology back in march:

and you insist that after this 'apology' you've learnt and were never doing anything wrong again and yet you are saying the same thing again in your new 'apology'. how after the march events you went to @galedekarios anyway, asking for permission, didn't wait for her response and posted your copy of her set anyway. which just makes me think that you've never learnt. it just makes it seem that asking people for permission never stemmed from a place of respect and understanding, but from the need to cover your ass in case someone brings the fact that you're still copying up. which someone did, apparently.

at the end of the day, this is my opinion and i might be wrong, but following all of your words and actions, it just seems like you chose notes and attention instead of people. that you kept lying and misrepresenting things and throwing us under the bus for your own gain. and that you only stopped because enough people eventually found out, not because you suddenly felt remorse. and this 'apology' was just another 'ask for permission from a creator', all just for optics. you couldn't even bother to unblock us before posting the 'apology' which just shows how little you were actually thinking about any of us.

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

Hello hello again! It's good to have you back for a little while! Unfortunately there is a lot of infighting in the critical sphere right now and it's not very fun to follow. And worse still Lily is as smug as ever. People are too invested in who ripped off what, who's disrespecting this or that, they should just be having fun at Lily's expense. That's what Saiscribbles has done, and you can tell how effective it is because Lily has tried every strategy in the book to prove how not mad she is.

You know what?

I think I would like to poke fun at the whole thing. I mean, it's sounds like she's gotten a bit ridiculous since I've been gone. (Ridiculous sounds like an understatement, thought.)

I've done serious and it's exhausting. You can only take her serious for so long before you realize she doesn't really even know or believe what she's saying.

As for the fighting, well... It's a shame, but let's try to focus on what's at the core of this blog: Gossiping about Lily.

...But I do have one thing I want to get off my chest, so I will mention it here and then move on. It is under the read bar just so those who don't care can ignore it.

I do have one thing to say about the drama, and that's about Ethel.

They are a liar liar pants on fire.

Seriously, I watched Evangeline Skovs video, which was one of the better coverages on the subject and there was no plagiarism. Not even of me, and I was a source!

Never mind that fact that Ethel legit lied about my blog in their rebuttal, claiming that Levi couldn't find anything on my blog about their video, or glade, so Evangeline was lying.

Their proof? Levi used the search bar, used the word minor and glade, and nothing came up except one post...

Fun fact: I'm bad at tagging things, and my search bar is kind of useless because of that.

(Side note: why would I use glade's name? Why would I want to draw attention to someone who I assumed wanted to be left alone? I'm pretty sure that was made clear in the video.)

Anyway, if you used my archive you could easily find TONES of posts from me talking about the video in question with details.

Here's one that Ethel conveniently left out:

And you know what's hilarious about that? They reblogged this take to try and rebuke it on their tumblr. (That they have long since abandoned.)

I decided to ignore it, because obviously I'm not going to try and get in a fight with them, and Ethel was so mad by that they messaged me directly to try and threaten me with legal jargon.

So I blocked them.

But hey, since I'll probably never bother with this again, here are the messages. Enjoy old drama from like...2 years ago:

Image text here:

[Okay, I've put this off for as long as possible, but please, read this case study as right now you are parroting harmful legal advice. Victim testimony not only constitutes evidence, but can be sufficient evidence to convict, a fact that was tested in Commonwealth v Gustavo Gonzalez Santos in Massachusetts.

I’ll highlight two relevant sections in case you don’t have the time to read the entire thing: “The defendant's sole argument on appeal is that the evidence was not sufficient to support his convictions. The defendant asserts that "there were no witnesses to the alleged assaults," "no physical evidence," "no medical or forensic evidence," and "no expert testimony." He argues that "there was absolutely no conclusive evidence presented at trial that suggested the [d]efendant's guilt beyond a reasonable doubt."” And: “Here, the victim testified to facts that constituted each element of the charged offenses. Her testimony, which the jury found to be credible, was sufficient, standing alone, to support a finding beyond a reasonable doubt as to each of the convictions. See, e.g., Commonwealth v. Lawrence, 68 Mass. App. Ct. 103, 104 (2007)

("The victim's testimony was sufficient evidence of [indecent assault and battery on a child under age fourteen]"); Commonwealth v. Gonsalves, 23 Mass. App. Ct. 184, 185 (1986) ("The victim's account of what the defendant did to him in the apartment was sufficient to overcome the defendant's motion for a required finding of not guilty of rape"). The idea that long infected our legal system that the victim's testimony in sexual assault and rape cases is less credible than the testimony of victims in cases involving other types of crimes -- an idea that reflected nothing more than sexism and an unwillingness on the part of our courts to treat sexual crimes as the gravely serious matter that they are -- has been rejected both by statute and by common law.”

When you and others continue to parrot the myth that victim testimony does not constitute as valid evidence, you are harming victims of rape and abuse. This is straight up rape culture and, since I’m pushing back any video coverage on the matter until I’ve finished dealing with Lily because I don’t want to muddle things, I need you to stop promoting falsehoods. We have legal members on our team who have passed the bar, Patchie does not, Opal does not, and neither does You Can Eat Hearts. You are causing unnecessary harm to victims by breathing life into myths constructed by rape culture. To be clear, I am not asking for your denouncement of certain people, just for you to please, stop publishing bad legal takes.

This is also the case in Canada, if you're wondering - https://www.accused.ca/evidence.htm

Sorry, I just realized I didn't give you the US case study. Here it is - http://masscases.com/cases/app/100/100massappct1.html#:~:text=The%20jury%20found%20the%20defendant,We%20affirm. ]

Oct 30, 2022 9:16 AM

Whew, you have no idea how long I wanted to spill this tea.

Alright, I've said what I've wanted to say on this topic. I'm now going to focus on laughing at Lily and her horrible incest stories.

[fanofbirdsflying]

ONLY FRIENDS and a judgemental fandom?

going into this show we knew that this was not going to be a romance. it was made very clear in both trailers that there was going to be lying, cheating and manipulating. this being in store for us was the main reason why i was looking forward to this show which is why i am having a difficult time seeing fandom be so judgemental and annoying about the characters and their actions. (i think the communication between characters sucks or is wishy washy or the things that are communicated are ignored, so ppl come of ass assholes.)

i really liked @bengiyo post about the show as a whole rn.

audience memebers slutshaming?

something i can't quite shake is how straight forward both boston and top are about their casualness when it comes to sex and audience's responses to that. as soon as we saw their casualness, i felt as though many ppl started judging them. now, boston has lied/manipulated which is an actual issue, but their choices in regards to their casualness about sex isn't. nick knew who boston was, and everything mew knew about top from his friends pointed towards a guy who doesn't fit his understanding of dream guy (at first glance). top that first night in the apartment even said he wanted sex from mew and instead of taking that for what it is, mew actually started to consider dating him (had mew been my friend i would have stopped him).

boston is intentionally messing with ray and top (and that's not cool) but people disregarding boston's privacy and his right to it when nick went through his phone and put his own nudes on there, as well as wiring boston's car to spy on him, doesn't sit right with me. it doesn't matter how casual boston is about sex, nick disrespecting his boundaries is not ok. the phone situation boston didn't really take issue with (they started hooking up afterwards) but a lot of other people would have. the wiring of the car is a whole other thing. some ppl are ignoring this though because nick is "naive" and fell for a guy who only wants sex.

something similar is happening with the boston-top situation. in my opinion top didn't look fully comfortable when things started/were happening in the shower as well as in the car (you can see the switch happening and at what point top decides to have sex with boston). and now the elevator

great post about top with good additions. written by @respectthepetty and @wen-kexing-apologist

while i am not sure if top has anxiety, i do think there is something about him and his relationship to sex that is more than just, he likes to have sex (which is totally fine). this post says sth similar.

i just feel like, many people in the audience don't really recognize or want to acknowledge how boston and top's boundaries are pushed just because they are "sluts" and i don't like that.

mew as THE VIRGIN in the story is immeadiately seen as angel who can't do wrong.

but to me there were a few moments that felt judgemental tbh. mew seems judgemental sometimes, maybe like the audience?. people have discussed things that sound interesting and i hope the show explores them, such as his deal with control as well as the question what it is that he actually wants from top. so many of the things he knew about top before they started properly talking, were all things that go against what he seems to consider ideal partner material. what is he gaining from making top change into what mew considers "good boyfriend"? why did he give top a chance? why is he continueing?

i wonder if there will be commentary on society pressuring people into losing their virginities by a certain age? it's possible that mew is fixated on it in his own way. looking back, he did invite top back to his place knowing top wanted sex and started making out with him and seemed interested, but stopped before they did it. now he uses forms of sex to control top and his actions (ep4, "no penetration").there is sth to unpack here.

top gains a new experience by being with mew. he says he's not interested in what he was doing before, so mew is a change.

comparing mew's and top's reactions to someone pushing for sth physical that they themselves don't want is interesting. mew straight up pushes the other person away and asks them what are you doing, while top hesitates even though he doesn't want it. mew knows or shows his boundaries better than top does.

people see top for his looks, money and status. sleeping with him is kinda seen as win/victory/success (ep1). it makes me wonder if part of him also sees himself only good for sex. not entirely, because there seems to be some confidence in himself and his status etc. but partially? we also know about his substance abuse which he claims he's into just to have fun with friends, yet the first time we see him use is without friends.....

if u want to be untagged please tell me. i just wanted to give credit.

[in-a-slanted-outhouse]

I really hope your theory about Rob posting the "I stand with Israel" to Aidan's acc is true because if it's not idk if I could ever look at Five the same again :(

I’m gonna be honest that I have been feeling the same way. It’s upsetting when you like a someone/something and then it gets associated with something terrible.

Even though the occupation has lasted like seventy years or something close to that when that post went up it was just after October 7th and prior to Israel absolutely blowing Gaza to shit and it gaining publicity. If Aidan did post it it was probably because October 7th was off the top of my head one of the biggest massacres of Jewish people since the holocaust. It wasn’t just Jewish people who were killed and conflating Israel with Judaism can be problematic but it was predominantly Jewish people who were killed and as a Jewish person it is understandable that Aidan would be upset about that. Baring in mind that post went up prior to any major retaliation. Doesn’t necessarily excuse him if he did make that post but it would make sense if Aidan posted it with good intentions as someone who was uninformed of the situation.

As you may know that post has now been removed and I assume it was by someone with access to that account instead of Instagram taking it down or anything. What I find to be a weird coincidence is that comments were turned off just after Rob said (and lied) that he was going to stop talking about Israel (which he did not). Like I think it was the same day. And then a few days later it was deleted. Which would make me think he was the one that turned comments off and deleted it.

People have evidence of Rob sending discord messages pretending to be Aidan. He also keeps claiming that Aidan isn’t active on Instagram. He has made it very clear on multiple occasions that he is a liar and I personally find him to be a vile little man. He is complete scum of the earth. He is manipulative sexist and racist which I honestly don’t think Aidan is. Most of Aidan’s friends are girls and a lot of them Latina and I haven’t once seen him be disrespectful towards any of them or flirt with them or make inappropriate comments about any of them. I’ve seen them flirt with him more. Whereas Rob has come across as creepy towards them AND Aidan (which is fucking mind blowing) and made inappropriate comments about some of them AND Aidan. I don’t know why he’s still allowed online tbh.

You don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes but I genuinely don’t think Aidan is the bad person that a lot of people think he is. He may be and I might be totally proven wrong in the future but with the controlling behaviour that Rob exhibits towards him I’m pretty sure that it’s Rob. Like why is a fifty-sixty year old man so obsessed with the social life of his twenty year old son? He’s constantly trying to show Aidan off and getting up in Aidan’s face even when Aidan appears uncomfortable. He’s constantly just randomly photographing him and he’s constantly in Aidan’s live stream chats saying weird shit and trying to get attention both from Aidan and other people. I think Aidan is just sheltered and blissfully ignorant tbh and I think Rob is a massive cunt. He’s a fucking cunt and I hope it comes around to bite him on the arse and that Aidan stops being blind to his bad behaviour just because it’s his dad. I understand it’s hard to see a bad person when they are incredibly manipulative and related to you and he’s not just gonna publicly call out someone he lives with (like some people expect him to) but I really hope he actually realises how much a wanker his father is because I think he’s better than that.

Anyways

[solianapaeris]

A guy I’ve been in communication for a while now and seeing has had a girlfriend this whole time I had no idea about. He doesn’t post her, she doesn’t post him, it says he’s single on Facebook but on her Facebook profile says she’s in a relationship...she reached out to me about it and wanting to know so I told her everything and sent the proof. She still stays...and she was almost defending him on the phone saying “he’s just immature” when I on the other hand was very upset and called him toxic. She said it’s happened other times and she didn’t seem to be upset at all to me. He, since then he’s been engaging with me a lot...he’s been calling me consistently even though he says he has a girl ask continually asks “what I what”. Don’t understand this when clearly it’s obvious of what I want. I have not talked very highly of the girl because she lied about her name to me, her story didn’t add up she said on the phone at first they were together a year then when I sent screenshots she goes “we’ve actually been together 3 years I just hate him at this point” ....like how’re you going to come to me as a women want to know it all so I tell you then you defend him and stay? I do not feel I owe her any more information especially being that he’s talking to me like I can’t feel bad for her when I already told her everything and She doesn’t do anything about it. When I talk about it and say it’s weird, doesn’t make sense, call the girl senseless, say I don’t view her highly he doesn’t say anything and doesn’t defend her...he just says “doesn’t have to make sense” and doesn’t ever defend her like I said...Anyway, I’m lost. I don’t get why he’s continually reaching out after ending it saying he can’t do anything of asking me what I want? That also, doesn’t make anything sense to me. Like if he’s ended it then why is he continually reaching out and putting it on me

Not sure how old you are, but the entire experience is messy. I can see how you think it’s confusing, but when another woman comes to you about another man, it’s simply time to cut things off [with him]. It seems like he lead you on with false pretenses and wasn’t honest about being in a relationship and had you on rotation with other women—including his “girlfriend”. He isn’t a good guy. I can agrée that is is immature, but you shouldn’t worry about why she still defends him. Some women will want a piece of a man just to say they have one, no matter how many times they embarrass or step out on them. They’re of the mind if “as long as he comes home to me.” And that isn’t your issue—that’s hers to work out on why she chooses to stay in a lifeless, loveless and disrespectful relationship. Him talking to you doesn’t make you better, or more desirable than her, either. Men with that certain pathology just like an ego boost. It may seem a bit harsh but he may just be using you for an ego boost or a rebound to make the girl jealous. Any man that lies like that isn’t for you or in your best interest. It’s easy for men like him to make you think you’re the better option, when he’s playing both sides and being divisive. He’s views you both the same—easily influenced and manipulated, and easy to confuse. He just wants women to argue over him and give him attention, and that’s what you’re doing. Again, don’t know how old you are, but the minute she contacted you and you found out everything was a lie was the moment you should have cut all contact with him. He’s continuing to reach out because you’re letting him. You’re allowing him to be disrespectful and still have access to you after he blatantly lied and lead you on. After his girlfriend contacted you. After he showed you who he really was. There’s nothing to really consider or be confused about. His character is loud, disrespectful, and clear. You shouldn’t want anything from him. Block, ignore, delete. He’s literally wasting your time and youth. There are other men who won’t callously play with your time and actually take you seriously. Don’t think of him as a catch, because he’s trash if I’m being honest. I hope you exit immediately and block both of them and move on. No one needs the extra drama in their life.

[savagewildnerness]

OK - Let’s talk Gabrielle, and specifically Gabrielle as a Mother & as Lestat’s Mother.

This poll is interesting! I did too many options, it’s clear. It’s obviously complex & I agree with around 5/10 of the options, so I can see why it’d be split! That’s how they were so easy to think of! I’ll post my thoughts while you can still vote in the poll. Most people likely would have voted already anyway if they were going to, I imagine. So interesting to see your thoughts!

Also interesting that at the moment the winning answers are “in most ways, but no in fundamental ways” & “she loves him deeply, but not consistently”… on the surface they seem similar in that there’s love there in some ways… but deeper down they’re quite profoundly different. Inconsistent but deep love is a lot more meaningful I’d argue to the recipient’s sense of feeling loved than love in many ways, but absence of love in fundamental ways (which for me, of these two is closer to the truth…)

Anyway, first of all: I love Gabrielle as a vampire. She’s what a vampire ought to be I think: especially a female vampire - FREE! Imagine the restrictions of her human life. I adore who she becomes as a vampire. She’s also understood something fundamental that all the silly men; attached to material things & society & the love of each other have not learned - nature itself is eternal & immortal & in nature lies the root of where we as conscious things come from. To live eternally, nature can be a key.

For humans in our current era, we’ve never been more removed from nature. We’ve lost the pagan rituals that on the one hand involved human sacrifice 😂, but on the other hand, they celebrated Nature itself in a way wherein humans then understood what we were; what we were part of; what we would return to & what it was that was truly Divine. Not love or material things or society or fame. No. The sky above our heads! The mountains. The rivers! The trees. That is the meaning we seek. That is existence. Yes, Gabrielle, wise one.

And I understand too that Gabrielle is simply not a motherly person as a human. She is horrified by the trauma of having given birth. Even once! And she did it 7 times! Like the 7 circles of Hell!! She feels no instinctive love towards her children. You could maybe even suggest she had postnatal depression… who knows… except in any case it’s beyond that as her entire life is dire, not just having to have had children. Her husband is awful. 4/7 of her children die… and don’t get me wrong - Gabrielle’s mothering affects ALL of her children. At least she shows occasional notice of Lestat, unlike his older brothers!

But, I wonder if Gabrielle will be portrayed as emotionally cold on the tv show as she was in the books (I nearly wrote in real life 😂😇😁)?

I’ve been thinking about Lestat’s childhood & about how everyone says Vampire-Lestat’s love language is gift giving. As a child, his Father & brothers show him no love at all. They show him that he is *wrong* in every way. His every desire is punished. He is accused of always taking everything to extremes & his desires are seen as ludicrous, too much; his dreams as offensive & disrespectful to the family’s aristocratic status… even though they are poor & Lestat has zero prospects as an illiterate seventh son of a poor aristocratic family, in the era of impending French Revolution…

And Lestat loves Gabrielle more than anyone in the world… but she is sort of even worse than his Father & brothers as I see it - because she perceives who her son is, but still ignores Lestat & lives in her own world. Not wanting to take time to be Lestat’s mother. (To be fair to the other sons, it seems she mothered them even less!) She reads all day, without even bothering to teach her son to read! I simply cannot imagine that extreme degree of… it’s beyond disinterest! It’s lack of care. She doesn’t care enough to take the time to teach Lestat the alphabet!? It gives me chills. (I learned the alphabet backwards before I learned it forwards so maybe that it’s so opposite to my experience chills me even more!?)

Gabrielle is occasionally roused by her son to fight for something for him, and she’ll fight hard… as long as it can be achieved by not taking up too much of her time & can all be resolved in the one battle of will. She’s willing to throw her money at things & she gives Lestat gifts (such as his dogs) so that he has some reason to STAY ALIVE (wow, generous, Gabrielle) though she never explains what she does to Lestat even when he’s still a child, almost as if it took all her energy to provide The Thing & and now she needs to retreat to her own world. Perhaps she’d say it was important for Lestat to find the meaning on his own? Sometimes she’ll share some sentence or interesting thought with Lestat or she’ll sit for 5 minutes with him when he’s in a sucicidal or extreme mind-place, near-madness… or when she is curious that he might say an interesting thought himself. Almost like he is a book too: worthy of a few minutes of her attention. (See where that poll option came from?! 😅)

In a way, more than his Father & brothers who merely don’t understand Lestat, I think it’s Gabrielle who shows him he’s unloveable. Even when he’s in deep despair after the wolves, Gabrielle shares *her* outlandish sexual desires with Lestat & tells him she’s dying…. I understand in a way it’s to show him he’s not alone in his experience… But it also gives big putting even *more* on her 20-year-old son rather than responding to how he’s feeling vibes - putting her own psychic & physical torment on Lestat… Is she really listening to him in a meaningful way? I actually wonder whether she doesn’t encourage Lestat towards Nicolas in part as she sees potential escape literally to Paris for Lestat through Nicki… but also say what you will about Nicolas, but Nicki is the first person who allows Lestat to fully open up & share his every thought & feeling with him. And yes, they often disagree, but that’s part of the joy of “the conversation” - to be able to fundamentally disagree & still love. In fact, Nicki is one of few people Lestat is ever able to be so open with… and of course Nicolas’ fate is part of why future Lestat may be wary of it… but a lot is to do with how many souls always still find Lestat *too much* even in the future. Anyway, does Gabrielle sense the potential for a kind of love in Nicolas she herself is simply incapable of?

Gabrielle… you literally never had the interest in enough to take the time to teach him the alphabet! When he clearly wanted to learn! To me - That’s not love! While flaunting your own love of reading! And especially after Lestat’s time in the monastery, which you know he loved because he loved the learning & he loved that he felt he could be good. It wasn’t religion Lestat ever loved or cared about (well, let’s be fair, *most* of the time Lestat frames himself as atheist… sometimes he’s calling upon God & all his old Saints… it’s not entirely absent from him! Just as he says his family aren’t religious… yet they think the travelling theatres sinful… so it’s a complicated relationship with religion. In conversation with Nicolas who has more belief & shame around sin, Lestat frames himself as believing in nothing, but…). Just learning & love - both of which Gabrielle could & should have given Lestat, but did not.

I don’t know… Lestat talks as if Gabrielle loved him more than anyone else… but I really don’t feel an awful lot of love from her. Love is giving someone your time. Love is definitely not a child who is desperate to learn & you can’t be bothered to take the smallest amount of time to teach them; a child to whom you gift only things he has to figure out in his own time; a child who is afraid to even call you “Mother” because he knows you hate it… who calls you wondrous as you spent a bit of your money on him & thought about him abstractly for a moment - he realises you saw him…. But that’s not enough Gabrielle! And she also doesn’t like to hug or be touched, so she doesn’t show Lestat physical love… (though she’s happy to discuss her own intimate desires & fantasies with him 😂.)

Of course, in the end Gabrielle gives Lestat his means of escape from his small life. But what damage did she do him first? Even as he leaves, she apparently finally tells him that she perceives him as her penis. Which as a metaphor, explains pretty well it feels to me the actual love she gives to Lestat..?!

A lot of people tell Lestat he is wrong & is too much & wants too much & desires too much & asks too much in his youth…. But those people who say they love him tend to frame it in a covetous way - they want to be something he is, or they need something he has. I would say this applies in their ways to Gabrielle, Nicki & Armand. Louis would I suppose be the first close relationship where this was not the case…? (I mean… Marius could have been?! But too short a time there..)

Anyway… unfinished but long thoughts on Gabrielle…

I think her love is possibly stronger for Lestat once they’re both Vampires: because she no longer has to be his Mother… and because he’s gifted her immortality & freedom & while for most vampires The Dark Gift is beautiful & tragic, I’d say for Gabrielle perhaps more than any other vampire it is true freedom & she embraces this gift for all it is & could never therefore thank Lestat enough..??

I’ve been thinking about Gabrielle when she was a mortal & I might share my fuller thoughts in the future, but I am interested to hear your thoughts first.

I love Gabrielle as both human & Vampire, but the question is solely about Gabrielle as a Mother to Lestat (caveat - she certainly was less of a Mother to her other sons).

I have given you lots of options, so pick your closest, or answer your own.

[haven-in-writing]

To be the knife against his throat

TW- There is a bit of violence throughout each chapter so if that makes you uncomfortable please don't read ahead. I try to put the proper warnings when possible but unfortunately I do tend to forget. As this story progresses I will try to be more aware of this. Thank you beautiful people so much for reading!

Catch up with the first and second chapter if you haven't already!

Tag list as of 9/27/21 @avengerstanforlife, @dark-night-sky-99, @emergenciesstory , @bookscoffeeandracoons, @krystallynx

The following morning everyone in the compound was woken up to loud screams. Well, one loud scream coming from a certain trickster god. The team ran into the kitchen area to see you on top of Loki with a knife hitting his metal cuff attached to his armor. Growling in frustration, you punch his side, as he weakens his grip on your hand that holds the knife, you push further and the tip of said knife touches the base of his neck.

“Y/N NO!” The group collectively shouts as you draw a small amount of blood from the pressure you put on the knife. You lean down next to his face, whispering something that not even Friday could pick up on. His Adam's apple dips as he gulp’s from the assumed threat that was whispered. No one tries to approach you in case you decide to plunge the knife into his throat, but without any warning Loki smirks as a flash of green magic pushes you into a portal and leaves you falling in your ass a good distance from the god.

The inhumane growl that leaves your throat stops everyone in their tracks. Staring him down, Loki puts both hands up as a sign of peace.

“I mean no disrespect lady, I simply wished to not be in such a compromising position,” he explains quickly before your knife could find a home in his body.

“Just stay the hell away from me Loki,” you all but hiss at him before stalking out of the room ignoring the team's questions.

The group surrounding them doesn’t make a move, watching Loki for any signs that he will retaliate as Thor walks as quietly as he can slightly behind you. The two of you walk in silence to your private workshop. No one tried to stop and talk to you, practically feeling the tense energy you were exuding. As you entered the shop, Thor gently closed the door and cleared his throat.

“I know my brother can be infuriatingly frustrating to deal with, I do hope that this flaw of his doesn’t make it unbearable to be around either of us,” Thor finishes his sentiment quickly before you have a chance to speak.

“Thor, I promise I won’t actually kill your brother, I’m sorry you have to deal with this at all. Just- just keep him away from me. Okay?” you quickly continue, “He left me to die once, which only taught me that I can rely on no one. I don’t trust this team, I don’t trust normal people, and I especially don’t trust Loki. So back off.”

You leave Thor standing in the workshop baffled by the raw emotions you had shown in your brief tangent. As quick as you left, Loki entered the shop moments later, a flash of green being the only warning Thor had before he was staring at his brother.

“Lady y/n just left so it would be wise to make your leave quickly as I am unsure of whether she will return here or not,’’ Thor warns quickly and quietly.

“I did not realize she was still alive, I didn’t even bother to give her a proper burial,” Loki says, lowering his head with shame. “It was the least I could have done.”

Without another word, Loki disappears with a flash of green light. Thor breathes out gently and turns to leave the workshop. As he is about to switch off the light, a map on the wall catches his attention. A map he hadn’t seen in over a century, when the nations of Midgard were being claimed and fought over. Any doubts in his brother's memory were long gone with this artifact on the wall encased in glass. It was too frayed and battered to be a replica. With more questions brewing in his mind than ever, Thor shuts the workshop door and with a shake of his head, makes his way to his chambers.

He is so engrossed with his own thoughts, he doesn’t manage to catch the red headed spy lurking in the shadows, having heard every bit of conversation from her post.

Until now things had sailed pretty smoothly with the Avengers. Until now your identity has been easily covered up by half truths and diversions. That was until Loki had to come along and cause chaos as always. At least the lore surrounding him was consistent.

Taking a moment to pause and collect your thoughts, you find a way to minimize the fallout heading your way. The team was gonna find out eventually so why not get ahead of that curve. The only way to do that would be going against your better judgement. The only person that could persuade the Avengers to not completely turn you out. Maybe two people? Why would they not completely dismiss you, after all they were just a rag tag group of superpowered freaks. The amount of times you had saved their butts didn't matter, at the end of the day, you lied to people that trusted you. They would never trust you again.

So who was the better option?

Tony treated you like a daughter, always trying to cheer you up when you were down. Y'all even had a secret handshake. He would be beyond insulted that you didn't share this overwhelmingly important detail of your existence with him. Now on the other hand, Director Fury. Would he even care? As long as you were on the good guys team aka his team, he wouldn't let you be taken away. Right? Or maybe he would want to dissect you like the Hydra vermin had tried oh so many years ago.

Fury, like the team, would have no reason to believe or trust that your intentions were as true as you had once said. An impossible situation for the impossible creature you were. What a dilemma.

Shaking off the thoughts crossing your mind, you text one Tony Stank, the only contact you had listed in your phone besides- well, nevermind it’s not important. What is important is the text you’re about to send. If it’s not worded correctly, Tony would assume the worst and immediately try and track you down.

“Hey Stank-face,” you punch into the old flip phone.

“Why did I even tell you that story,” He texted back quickly.

“Because you were drunk and have no filter, duh,” you smile for a moment but quickly mask your face and continue texting Tony, “I have a favor to ask.”

There’s a brief pause before he replies.

“What’s up?” There’s no hiding your smile now, you can always rely on Tony to pull through.

“Meet me by the burger stand, next to the old warehouse at 5pm?” Nervously picking at your nails while waiting on his response, you notice a black bike peeking around the corner of the alleyway you were across from. Shit.

“Sure thing Jelly-bean, everything OK?” No, not ok but it would be. Just have to get ahead of the fallout.

“Yeah Tones, all good, just got something to talk to you about. I would like for this to stay between us for now if you don’t mind. Gotta go, I’ll see you at 5.” Taking the sim card out of the phone you toss it in the trash bin and start walking, keeping an eye on the little stalker you've managed to catch.

[animeyanderelover]

ok ok so deathnote characters (melli near l and light) with a modern s/o but like the thing is is that they kinda fell through the sky whne l and light were at the park or something so they just look at the s/o like 👁👄👁 while the s/o comes running over explaining how much they love l ( and compleatly ignoring light)

I only did it with L and Light because I don’t seem the dynamic with all four of them working. I can see honestly everything else. Near obsessing over L’s darling or Light’s and the same for Mello and everything else. But I can’t think of this right now. I hope it’s still alright😕. I think I’ll make a separate post for Mello and Near later on.

Modern reader getting transported in Death Note

✍️🍰Light knew already that there were more mysterious things that existed in this universe, the Shinigami following him and the note he had hidden in his room being proof enough of this. He would have lied if he had said he had never asked Ryuk if there were other things as well. But that damn Shinigami just shrugged with his shoulders. L was someone who had always relied more on logical things, but during the Kira case his view on the world changed a bit, accepting the fact that there were things beyond his knowledge.

✍️🍰But no one from the two had expected to witness what had happened on this day. They had just been sitting in the park and doing some small talk, both trying secretly to figure ways out how to win against the other. That was until they had suddenly saw something. For the shortest of seconds...the sky suddenly seemed to split in half, opening a hole before quickly going back to normal. What had that just been? Both of them just stared surprised at the sky. And then they had heard it. Screaming, at first only faint, but it had gotten louder and louder until they had seen a view that nearly caused them to drop their jaws. There you were, falling from who knows which height down. You were yelling something from not wanting to die like this, closing your eyes tightly and praying to whoever you believed in. But shortly before you could end like a pancake you suddenly slowed down, floating softly down and gently landing on the earth.

✍️🍰Both of them just stood there in shock, glancing with blinking eyes back and forth between the sky and you. There was no doubt in their minds that you had been falling through that hole from a few minutes before. But that didn’t help them what that had just been and who you were. You on the other hand had slowly opened your eyes, noticing that you weren’t dead yet and looking like a lost puppy confused around. That was until you were met with the clueless faces from L and Light, your gaze freezing on theirs.

✍️🍰For a few seconds they just looked at you and you just looked at them. That was until a sparkle started appearing and you instantly jumped to your feet and hurried to them, looking amazed at L, circling around him and observing him interested. And that’s when you asked with a hint of excitement if he was L? And that made both men tense up. From where did you know that. You took that as a yes and started instantly explaining that you were a huge fan of his, something from “him being your favorite from the Anime” and excitedly starting to ramble about how much you loved him and that he was incredibly cool. Light just stood there, feeling like he was somewhat in the wrong place. Why were you ignoring him?

✍️🍰L on the other hand was flustered, not only because you knew who he was, but also because of your enthusiasm towards him. By all means, he wasn’t used to suddenly be showered in compliments and praises like this. Not only that, but he was scared that someone would hear you because you had gotten louder and louder during your speech. So he just hushed you and asked you who you were. And you told him proudly your name. Light had gotten a bit awkward, not being okay with the fact of being ignored like this. That’s why he decided to finally step in, asking you what had just happened and why you had fallen from the sky. You turned your head in his direction, the smile you had given L slowly transforming into an frustrated and somewhat angry look, scoffing at him that he should just stay out of it.

✍️🍰L thought it would be the smartest to question you somewhere more private, bringing you into the basement where they were currently working on the Kira case. During the whole ride back there you kept talking to L, even going as far as interrupting Light whenever he tried to join. And Light slowly started to get pissed off by your disrespectful behavior. What was your problem?

✍️🍰The way you were being questioned was much more pleasant than what he had done with Misa and Light, looking more like a friendly chat under old friends. You were served some coffee and cake from Watari, L thinking that you would talk willingly. And you did indeed. By the end of your explanation you looked a bit embarrassed, L staring at you with a neutral expression on his face and Light quirking an eyebrow at you. He really wanted to think that you were nuts, but the fact that you had literally fallen from the sky kept him from labeling you as a lunatic. He did know that supernatural things existed, but this was a bit hard. You noticed that both of them were a bit unsure, offering to give them some proof before pulling your cellphone out and showing them some pictures you had saved about L. A lot of pictures. This seemed to fascinate L, taking your phone and scrolling through the pictures before asking you if you had some more proof. You did, but told him whilst glancing suspiciously at Light that you didn’t want to say this loudly. So you just whispered it in L’s ear, his eyes widening in surprise before giving you a intense look. You just laughed and told him that you wouldn’t tell anyone.

✍️🍰What did you tell him? You told him about the Wammy House and his two successors inside of there. And that managed to convince L, explaining later on that you would live somewhere near here and that this should be kept as a secret between him, Watari, you and Light. Light on the other hand still had his doubts, not fully believing yet that all of this was true. Later on in his room he talked to Ryuk, asking the Shinigami what he was thinking about this. Ryuk just laughed, looking clearly amused by something. When Light asked him annoyed what was so funny Ryuk gave him an answer that made him jump up in surprise. He hadn’t been able to see your name nor your life span above your head, emphasizing that he normally was able to see the name and life span of every human from this world.

✍️🍰That managed to convince Light because even though Ryuk was lazy, he wasn’t a liar. But that meant trouble. You had explained that in your world their world was an Anime, a show which people watched. And that meant that you knew about him. He had of course luck because you had explained that before being thrown into this world you had somewhat heard someone saying that you weren’t allowed to tell them anything too directly. But you were allowed to change the future. That meant if you would somewhat hint L that he was Kira it would be over for him. So what other choice did he have besides killing you. He only hoped that the name you had told him was the right one whilst busily writing down your name in his Death Note. But as soon as he had written it down something strange happened. Your name just disappeared. And no matter how much Light wrote it down, it kept getting erased.

✍️🍰What was that supposed to mean? Did that mean that he couldn’t kill you? Shinigami, tell him what that meant! Ryuk himself seemed surprised by this, chuckling and saying that this was so fun. But then he suggested that this Death Note, and other Death Notes as well, maybe didn’t have the power to kill someone from another universe. And that was just great for Light. The Death Note had always been his best weapon, but now it was useless. It was of course also a choice to kill you with his bare hands. But not only were you already very warily around him, he would also make himself the clear culprit since he was the only one besides Watari and L who knew about your true identity. Not to mention that you had been placed under great security system. What was he supposed to do now?!

✍️🍰You often spent time with the four who knew about your secret, talking with you about the case and L also showing a huge interest in your world and the Anime about his world. He was almost a bit disappointed when finding out that your world, minus Kira of course, was pretty much the same as his. And Light could clearly feel how you always glared silently at him, wishing that he could somehow get rid of you because due to your more hostile behavior towards him L had also started to get more suspicious. He needed to do something about you.

✍️🍰But he never got the chance too. Not because he couldn’t, there were moments where he could have easily gotten rid of you. But more because he slowly started to change his impression he had from you. At first he had thought that you were just an annoying fangirls from L, like all the others he had himself. But you weren’t. You were more than that. You were surprisingly witty and fun to be with. Not only that, but you were also hardworking and had a good heart. You were the kind of human he wanted to have in this rotten world. You were purehearted. Even to him you became a bit more friendly over time despite knowing who he was. He couldn’t help, but sometimes suddenly think that you must have been sent here for a reason. To be sent here from some force that wanted to show Light the embodiment of perfection. So he started to change his plans. Instead of killing you he decided to make you his goddess/god and not only ruling over his world, but over yours as well.

✍️🍰L had been obsessed with you the moment you had arrived here, only pouring fuel into his fire of obsession after proving to him from where you really were. He obsessed over the fact that there was so much more in this universe he didn’t know. What other secrets were out there? Due to this he probably didn’t even realize when his obsession started becoming more romantic towards you, needing a long time until he understood that he had fallen in an unhealthy love with you. And suddenly his questions started revolving only around you, wanting to know very private things about you which even caused you to become uncomfortable.

✍️🍰L had a huge advantage in here because he was your favorite from everyone in Death Note. And that was unacceptable for Light. Why would you, his future queen/king want to spend any time with him? An sugar addicted insomniac? You should realize that Light was your future king, your god, your protector, your everything. But you just ignored him, choosing always L over him. And Light just knew that that bastard enjoyed it.

✍️🍰Both of them knew of their feelings for you and none of them was ecstatic about this. But L had the better cards in this games, being able to convince you into spending the majority of your time with him. And Light couldn’t do much about it, having to bite his tongue whenever he saw the both of you together and almost storming over and rip that guy away from you when he was touching you. The Death Note was maybe his preferred way of getting rid of every obstacle in his way, but by now he was ready to jump on L and strangle him because he didn’t even know that guy’s real name.

✍️🍰Another huge obstacle for Light was Misa, who was for him by now besides L the second biggest pain in his ass. Because you had told him one time before that he should feel glad to have someone as lovely as Misa as his girlfriend, always pushing him away with the words to better spend time with his girlfriend. Misa didn’t know about you for which Light was thankful, but whenever Misa touched him he couldn’t help, but cringe at this. What he wouldn’t have given to have you instead of Misa kissing him.

��️🍰Now to the separate endings. If Light wins he will get rid of L, which will most likely sadden you very much even though you knew that this would happen. Light would at first try to keep you a secret from Misa, but he won’t be able to hide you forever from her and it will end with Light manipulating her into keeping an eye on you when he is busy with work. Light with his god complex would want to find a way back to your world to get rid of criminals and bad people in there as well. He won’t be just god of his world, but of yours as well. If L wins then you were able to push him with your subtle gestures and words into the right direction and helping him with convicting Light and Misa. L has a undeniable fascination with your world and would use the chance to explore it if he should ever get the chance too. He might find some sweets he hasn’t in his world. But I also believe that he would prefer to stay with you in his world since he is in his world able to keep you with him protect you.

[izzymcfeegles]

Yet another post about Sebastian Stan:

I'm seriously tired of making these posts, but over the past few days, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding Sebastian's most recent IG post, and as a result,more things are resurfacing and its become impossible for me to ignore. I'm going to try my best to give a fair assessment, but if I'm being honest, this all appears to be a pretty troublesome pattern of behavior. Before I get into any of that, I think it's important to mention where I stand on cancel culture. As someone who is a longtime fan of wrestling and classic rock, I'm no stranger to seeing some of my favorite artists act in ways that would be considered unacceptable by today's standards. I do think that stan Twitter has a tendency to be a bit harsh when it comes to judging things that people have done in the past. That being said:

Context is important. The reality is that there were many things that were considered to be socially acceptable at one point in time, that we've since learned can be harmful, particularly to those who are marginalized on the basis of race, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc. Something that was considered to be acceptable 2005, we later find can be toxic and harmful. Do I think it's productive to cancel for someone for something they did decades ago that was considered to be acceptable at the time? Not necessarily. However, if this person continues to exhibit the same behaviors to this day, then yes, they should be rightfully taken to task.

In Sebastian's case, he has a documented history of saying and doing things that are ignorant and tone-deaf. In the early 2010's he made an comment about playing Bucky as a "transvestite," a word that is considered to be dated and offensive to Trans people. If I'm being honest, if I saw the interview the date it aired, I probably wouldn't have blinked twice as I was not as educated on Trans issues at that time. I now know that the comment was unacceptable and hope Sebastian does too.

Regarding the Jeff!Seb pedo memes, I'd be lying if I said my edgy 2009 self wouldn't have found them funny at one point, however in 2017, my adult self was not amused. And coming from someone who was playing an abuser at the time, liking those memes was a bad look. Same goes for the Kneegate meme, especially when you consider the amount of hatred black NFL players were receiving from people including the President of the United States for kneeling in protest during the national anthem. It was tasteless, tone-deaf, and he should have known better. The fact that his "apology" over the incident was surrounded by quotes, and as some fans speculated, copied and pasted did not help matters. Mind you, many fans were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and forgive him, and for a while things seemed okay.

Fast forward to 2020. After the man made it a point to shame Miami spring breakers for vacationing during the pandemic, he is seen months later vacationing in Ibiza and later Tulum. The fact that he used his money and Romanian passport to go on vacation while many of us were either stuck at home or worse, putting our lives at risk to put food on the table, understandably did not sit well with many people, especially when taking his previous comments about pandemic vacationers into account. The fact that his traveling partner is a socialite who has a history of doing cultural appropriation, including doing brown face and using the word "savage" in reference to her friend doing a native war cry made it sting even more. I'm not going to go into depth about her because she doesn't deserve the attention and this is about holding Sebastian accountable, but the fact that he is still with her and they appear to be inseparable, it's clear that her history of CA is a non-issue for him. Make what you will of that.

Moving to recent actions. The current project Sebastian is working on is controversial in its own right. As someone who has been a Mötley Crüe fan for almost 20 years, I am familiar with the history of that relationship and how toxic is was and will never defend Tommy and the abuse Pamela suffered at his hand. While my issue is mostly with the producers, it doesn't change the fact Sebastian and Lily are still willfully participating in a series that Pamela herself does not wish to be made.

Sebastian's most recent post seems to be catalyst for the most recent wave of Twitter outrage. I am well aware that Tommy is/was a practicing Buddhist and that things like Buddha statues were part of his home decor. That's not the issue. The issue lies in the face Sebastian chose to make in the photo where he appears to be prying to the statue, along with the caption "find your zen fuckerz." Once again, I am aware of Tommy's speech patterns and get that it was "in character," but to use the combination of that photo and that caption as a non-Buddhist, it's understandable why some Buddhist fans were offended and saw it as disrespectful. And as a non-Buddist, I don't think it's right to tell these people what they should and should not be offended by.

So for those of you who hate paragraphs, TL/DR:

Sebastian has a documented history of ignorant behavior and posts and as of now does not seem to be interested in addressing these things and learning about why the aforementioned behaviors are problematic and why some fans are hurt. This is not okay and we should not be defending him.

I understand that for many of you, he has been a source of joy. Bucky is still my comfort character and I will always be grateful to Seb for portraying the him with the nuance and care he deserves. I'm not asking anyone to stop staning Bucky or to take down your Seb x Reader fanfics. Life is short and you're entitled to the things that make you happy. Just understand that his actions have hurt a lot of people and why fans are upset and lashing out. While I do not condone any threats or doxxing aimed at his direction, the same goes to people who criticize him. I've seen people go to some vile lengths to defend him, from going after Pamela, a victim of abuse, to telling Buddhists how they should feel about their own religion, to anons telling the blogs who call him out to go kill themselves. None of this is ok. At the end of the day, Sebastian is a 38-year-old white man who has a great deal of money and influence and has more social capital than the people calling him out. He will be fine regardless of what happens and does not need people to protect him. The same cannot be said about the people he hurt through his actions.

[casually-inlove]

19 Days Character Archetypes. He Tian

This idea had been dancing around the back of my mind for a little over half a year now. I wanted to compare and contrast 19 Days characters with the list of archetypes proposed in the neo-Jungian research and finally, I got some time to spare. For this post, I am going to talk about He Tian. Before I begin, however, let me clarify a few things. Since the subject is fairly complex, I do not intend to write in detail about the theory itself or the studies mentioned because that is not the purpose of this post. I am only looking to give a quick and basic run-down of the common archetypes shared by the 19 Days characters.

What is an archetype? An archetype is a set of predefined characteristics, a mould. Carl Jung described the archetype as a “fundamental unit of a human mind” or a “primordial image”. Simply put, the archetypes are the recurring and simplified patterns — but also symbols. According to his ideas, these basic symbols exist universally irrespective of epochs, nations, cultures, races, places, etc. Jung believed them to be shared by the so-called collective unconsciousness. However, even before him, the philosophers of old introduced the ideas of pre-existing ideal immaterial forms which shape the material reality. Since the archetypes are fundamentally primordial, they permeate every single sphere of human life. Art, media, movies, day to day interactions — all of them deal in archetypes.

While working on his research, Carl Jung defined the driving impulses of the human psyche. In turn, that data helped him come up with underlying basis for human behaviour. Based on his findings, Jung outlined the so-called primary archetypes. Later his research served as a basis for many other studies and classifications, particularly for The 12 Archetype Model, proposed by Margaret Mark and Carol Pearson in “The Hero and the Outlaw”. Naturally, there can be an infinite number of archetypes, each having their subtleties; still, the short lists give the generalized picture. Deconstructing characters to these basic blueprints is a fair game because a character, no matter how complex, is still an abstract entity.

For this series of posts, I am going to rely on the 12 Archetype Model mentioned above. The list goes as follows:

1. The Innocent

2. The Orphan

3. The Hero

4. The Caregiver

5. The Explorer

6. The Rebel

7. The Lover

8. The Creator

9. The Jester

10. The Sage

11. The Magician

12. The Ruler

Having examined this list, I am led to believe that He Tian primarily represents a mixture of The Hero and The Rebel archetypes.

The Hero and The Rebel

Let us start with the most obvious, the Hero. This archetype is closely associated with the ideas of masculinity, and thus it is also referred as the Warrior, the Crusader, etc.

The Hero archetype characteristics

Motto: Where there is a will, there is a way

Core desire: to prove one's worth through courageous acts

Goal: expert mastery in a way that improves the world

Greatest fear: weakness, vulnerability, being a “chicken”

Strategy: to be as strong and competent as possible

Weakness: arrogance, always needing another battle to fight

Talent: competence and courage

These go very much in line with what we know of He Tian. His childhood flashbacks suggest that he indeed intends to be “the strongest”.

The failure to protect the puppy, the harsh words of He Cheng — all of it led him to become fixated on becoming the Hero, the one who swoops down and single-handedly saves the day. It is in the way he stands in to fight She Li for Guanshan or rushes to prevent Jian Yi from getting kidnapped. It is in the way he attempts to resolve the other boy’s problems with debt collectors. It is in the way he deflects the coke can and decides to meet his father for Guanshan's sake.

He Tian yearns to be the strongest because the alternative — being weak and helpless — has already scarred him in the past. Whatever joy he used to have as a child was taken from him, because he was not strong enough to handle things on his own. He entrusted the puppy to his brother and the man betrayed him — or so He Tian was led to believe.

More than that, he wants Guanshan to come to him, whether it’s talking about his complicated past or whether it’s about learning the guitar.

It goes without saying that He Tian is almost eerily good at anything he does — as such he believes he can learn music from scratch in a short time. That speaks volumes about the confidence he has in his capabilities, and yet to an outsider's perspective this might come off as blatant posturing.

Apart from almost baffling self-confidence that he shows, He Tian is also known for his nearly abnormal physical prowess. He managed to hold his ground against several armed adults (which is probably just flawed writing) and way back he even managed to impress Guanshan by effortlessly hopping over the school fence, so it makes one wonder what kind of training he had undergone.

However, the truth is, The Hero is also susceptible to weakness. In his work, Carl Jung has coined the term “The Shadow”, which became a stand-alone archetype in his list. The Shadow stands for our suppressed, ignored or denied traits, in other words, it is everything that we cannot see or refuse to see in ourselves. The concept of this hidden darkness has been since absorbed into a number posterior studies, such as Robert Moore’s and Douglass Gillette’s “King Magician Warrior Lover”, where they introduce triadic paradigms of the archetypes and their corresponding active and passive shadows. Notably, they link the aforementioned archetypes with the concept of “masculinity” and its development throughout adolescence into adulthood.

What is The Shadow to The Hero archetype? When The Hero cannot fulfill their purpose, they surrender to the shadow. The dark side takes their best qualities and transforms them into flaws. The confidence thus turns into arrogance and hubris, courage into foolhardiness, competence into bravado and posturing — or the complete opposite happens. Courage transforms into cowardice, confidence into insecurity, etc.

Whereas He Tian is concerned, before he had developed an emotional attachment to another person (and by doing so gained something to cherish), we could observe some of the definitive shadow patterns in his behaviour. Until he recognized Guanshan as someone to know and to protect, he used to goad the other boy, if not outright assume the position of his superior, demanding obedience and subservience. He Tian also used the snide tone when talking to Guanshan, and he did so in order to establish his power to steer the boy in what he deemed to be the right direction — that is attempting to curb Redhead’s short temper and brashness. And in doing so, he was not shy of subtly threatening the boy or using physical force to make his point.

To be in touch with his masculinity — that is to channel his energy constructively in order to feel strong and needed, — he required to have someone he could play the knight for. Once he could direct his inner impulses properly, his violent tendencies have subsided.

Even so, in his aspiration to be the ultimate good — driven by the hatred for his family background, perhaps — He Tian often opted for doing rash, foolhardy stuff, such as attempting to take on the debt collectors all by himself, for instance. Sure, he would have gotten to “save the day” and be the hero, but that single moment would have cost him his life.

Now, having glanced at the Hero archetype, let us move to the next one, The Rebel. This archetype is characterized by the following:

The Rebel archetype characteristics

Motto: Rules are made to be broken

Core desire: revenge or revolution

Goal: to overturn what is not working

Greatest fear: to be powerless or ineffectual

Strategy: disrupt, destroy, or shock

Weakness: crossing over to the dark side, crime

Talent: outrageousness, radical freedom

The Rebel is also known as the outlaw, the revolutionary, the wild man, the misfit, or iconoclast.

Indeed, He Tian rebels quite a bit in the manhua. First and foremost, his rebellion is directed at his flesh and blood — Mr He and Cheng.

Not much is known about He Tian’s childhood, yet it is pretty clear that he hadn’t exactly had a happy one. His mother died early on and he was left to grow up practically without parents since Mr He is a textbook absentee father. From what He Tian knows, his brother backstabbed him, an act that keeps plaguing their relationship years after, while his father is labeled as a monster — someone who is ostensibly capable of eliminating people who disobey.

It is also clear as the day that young He Tian is traumatized by whatever dealings his family conducts behind the scenes. At some point, we even witnessed a scene where HT is tossed out of the burning yacht, while his brother is covered in blood and holds a gun. A violent experience such as this inevitably leaves a scar — and actually get to see it. He Tian is shown to experience something closely reminiscent of PTSD, recurring violent nightmares, the fear of the dark, etc.

Back in the present day, we see that He Tian wants to put distance between himself and his family. It manifests in living separately from his kin and cutting the contact to a bare minimum. He makes a point of stating that he is independent, severing the ties he deems to be dysfunctional. Yet the same time He Tian cannot quite let go of his familial bonds. In particular, whenever He Cheng is concerned, the boy sneers and flagrantly shows his impetuousness and disrespect.

In many ways he’s practically stomping his feet, attempting to show that he doesn’t need his brother, yet by doing this he proves the opposite: he still yearns his bitter feelings to be validated by He Cheng — and by his father too, to an extent.

This results in bratty behaviour on his part: He Tian orchestrates property damage at the He mansion, impishly rejects Cheng’s gestures of goodwill, etc.That is the work of the Rebel’s “shadow” counterpart — when the desire to overturn things and break free takes on darker shade and slips into dangerous territory. Resisting and opposing then becomes a way of life, and only through it does the “shadow rebel” feel certain of their self. 

He Tian pushes at the boundaries of what is permitted and socially acceptable to feel in control of the situation. If we examine the way He Tian interacts with others, we will see that the shadow manifests in many other ways. He Tian is compelled to stir and instigate others, using his wit and cunning to make them uncomfortable or confused, and thus easy to manipulate to his amusement.

Speaking of socially acceptable behaviour, Chinese culture places a great emphasis on the respect towards senior family members — and I probably cannot stress this enough — He Cheng lets him get away with this lack of reverence. Deep inside He Tian seeks his brother’s approval and attention, but rejects it when he is given, and in the process he sets out to tear down anything that displeases him.

Establishing a connection with Guanshan let He Tian fulfill his Hero potential and channel his energy in constructive ways, and yet at the same time, it allowed him to tap further into his “Shadow” Rebel tendencies. That is, to it rub in into He Cheng’s face that he’s no longer welcome or needed.

Naturally, as a character, He Tian possesses traits of other archetypes — such as The Lover, for instance — albeit to a lesser extent, so I’m not going to dive deep in here. Let me just mention, that as a Lover, He Tian is compelled to increase his attractiveness to his love interest  — we often see him fishing for compliments and validation on Guanshan’s part, which underscores his inner need to feel needed and wanted, yet also turns into clinginess at times.

With that, this quick rundown of He Tian’s character patterns is complete. All in all, you could say that He Tian is fairly archetypal at his core, and yet it’s the combination of these “trite” features that mark him as an utterly realistic and believable character. It is because we’ve seen these archetypes countless times before that He Tian appears to be true to life.

Lastly, this is going to turn into a series of posts, but right now I cannot say when the next part is going to be up since writing this took me some time. In the meantime, you can read a bit more below ✨. 

 A bit more about He Tian | Support me at Ko-Fi 

[offtopicoverload]

What do you think the female lis’ families are like? I feel like only the guys talk about their families, with the exception being Talia talking about her parents and brother I don’t think any of the other girls do at all

hi anon thanks for the ask, hope my headcanons make sense

Talia:

pretty nuclear family, an older brother, her mum and her dad

her older brother’s maybe 4 years older or so, not enough that they never saw each other but enough that they didn’t really meet in school or anything

and that’s definitely why she meshes so well with the Jake even though they have like 6 years between them, shes used to the gap and hes really similar to her brother anyway, both goofy but sweet when they need to be

she definitely really close with her mother, i know its mentioned that they look just like each other, but i think that dialogues universal for the S1 LIs

and her mum owns a salon, right?

thats definitely why she takes such good care of her hair, her mother always did when she was little and encouraged it, complimenting her on it and styling it whenever she wanted

and she worked at the salon when she was a teenager and it was summer, working the front desk or cleaning up, sorting products, that sort of thing

its definitely a different story with her dad, hes pretty traditional and didnt take her coming out very well

it ruined things between them for a while and made it hard for her to visit, she only saw her brother at his place and her mother at the salon, but after LI, if shes with MC, he eases up a bit when he sees how happy they are

shes so open about her sexuality, especially on the show, because she doesn’t want any other kids to feel alone, she knows how much it sucked when she was a teenager

if she ends with MC, her mothers there at the finale and just showers MC in compliments and comments about wedding bells to mess with Talia

and her brother loves teaming up with MC and Jake to tease her 

the first time he met Jake, Talia thought they’d get married on the spot cuz they just meshed so well

her dads wary at first, but once its clear that MCs not going anywhere, maybe he catches them talking about him or something and just being vulnerable with each other, which is something Talia never was with him, he starts welcoming MC more, buys her flowers or something the next time they visit and annoys Talia because he didnt get any for her

Allegra:

ive been headcanoning for a while that she has a really big family and an awful relationship with them

her parents got divorced when she was little, maybe 3 or 4, they both remarried, her mom got divorced and remarried again, so she has a ton of half and step siblings, but no full

because there were so many kids in whatever household she was staying in at the time she kinda got lost in the crowd, which is why shes so desperate for attention on the show, she never got any when she was younger

and no matter what happens on the show, her parents dont call her or come to the finale, the only person that says anything is the one step sibling shes close with

they're about the same age, maybe 8 months to a year apart, and were glued to each others side when they were tweens

but they live really far apart and her step sister couldn’t make it to the finale, so they barely see each other which makes them drift apart a bit

if MC runs away with her after the reunion, she gushes to her step sister and they get closer again, to the point that her sister moves in with her for a job a year or two later, maybe right before quarantine if MC doesn’t so they don’t go insane

MC and her sister get on well and always call her Leggy just to watch her get mad, and they’re the only two people that can get her to calm down when shes pissed, her anger being another side effect of being ignored as a kid

the only way she got attention was if she threw a fit, and eventually that frustration just stuck around

but she gets better when she gets closer with her sister again and after the backlash from the show dies down, which it does pretty quickly when her and MC announce their relationship since she was the fan favourite

she never really introduces MC to her family, it just doesn’t make sense to her, but MC drags her along to a few weddings and holiday parties until Allegra’s dad introduces himself to her like its the first time four events in a row

she gives up after that, and Allegra’s perfectly fine with it, she’d rather keep their relationship between them anyway

Marisol

like Talia, she has the same family dynamic - an older brother and her parents

but her brothers only a year older and their relationship is a lot tenser

her dad always encouraged competition between them - if one got a good mark on an exam, the other was expected to match or do even better, if her brother got an award, Marisol was expected to get it a year later, that sort of thing

she doesn’t really talk with her brother outside of formal or family events, there’s still a lot of tension from their teenage years between them, but Marisol’s too proud to admit it, and her brother is too

and she’d never admit it, but the whole reason she’s in law school is because her father wanted her to, and she was just lucky that she enjoyed it

and again, like Talia, her dad didnt take her attempt at coming out well, he just flat out denied it, told her she’d meet a nice guy and settle down, that is what just a phase, all that shit

neither her mother or brother stuck up for her, which pissed her off a bit and just made things worse

her mother was never that involved in her life, never seemed that interested unless she was getting perfect marks and competing in dance competitions

and because she was so focused on her studies and work, she never had many friends and has honestly always seen them as a waste of time

its why she has no problem shitting on Lottie’s girl code, to her it just never made sense

so most of her friends end up being from the show and MCs friends if they’re together, and shes not big on family events, her immediate family isn’t either

but she is really close to her abuela on her mum’s side and an older cousin on her dad’s who’s gay and shes always related to 

she got really excited to introduce MC to them, and her abuela made a whole array of food for Marisol, MC,  and her abuelo and her abuela cooed over MC for ages

her cousin bought them drinks and made them tell him stories from the Villa, and afterwards pulled Marisol aside and told her he was proud and approved of MC and it made her really mushy and she hated it, MC wouldn’t let go that she cried in the cab for ages

her brother and her mother were never particularly rude to MC, but her father definitely was cold and distant and disrespectful

she got pretty pissed after that, telling MC off for ever encouraging to go and shouting about why that kind of thing was the exact reason she kept her distance

her and MC definitely has some issues after that for a while, and she shut her dad out until he gave a halfhearted apology, but her cousin and abuelos helped her feel better about her family situation

Elisa:

her parents aren’t together anymore and her mum had custody of her most of her life, even though she struggled to raise her and her sister

she didnt know her dad that well until she was a in her late teens, but regardless of all the lost time, they still have a good relationship

makeup and art was an escape when she was younger, and even when her mother was exhausted after working multiple shifts, she always encouraged her and helped her improve or just told her she loved it

her mum was her biggest supporter when she started the whole influencer thing, and her favourite thing to spend her money on is things for her family, like flowers for when she visits her mum or a new phone for her younger sister

they’re seven years apart, so she never had that close of a relationship with her when she was young, because what 13 year old wants to hang out with their annoying 6 year old sister

but once she got a bit older she started taking her to the movies and shopping to bond and encouraging her own art

her sister loves music, and even if she cant relate to it directly, she always does her best to support her

she even got kassam to make her sister a mixtape after the show and give some tips on mixing, and if MCs a musician she always asks her to give her sister lessons or something

introducing MC to her whole family all at once was one of her favourite things to do, she took them all to dinner and bought MC a dress and everything

her parents loved MC and laughed at all her jokes, and MC nearly joked on her salad at a story her dad was telling 

and even though her sister was pretty quiet, she told Elisa how much she liked her afterwards

they all start a family game night that is Elisa’s favourite thing to post about all week, and even though her parents haven’t been together since she was 7 or so, they still get on well and now that her dad’s more comfortable being there even though he’s not with her mum, hes more involved in her sisters life

her job and her Elisabees are crazy important to her, but she’d drop all of it for her family, even if she doesn’t seem super sappy

Lottie

shes an only child for sure, but with a few cousins shes decently close with

her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect by any means, but she still gets on with them

they encouraged her art even if they made some odd comments about her being alt that rubbed her the wrong way, but they mean well

there was a couple years where Lottie thought they’d get divorced, because they were arguing about finances cuz her mum went back to school and they lost her income, but when she started working as a nurse they were able to get back on track

her dad’s a bloke and loves sports and cars and all that, but hes also big in horror movies and is the one that introduced her to it

her mum hated all the gore, but her dad would let her watch it with him when she was out of the house

she always goes home for Christmas no matter where shes living, but has her own traditions for New Years and Easter

her aunt and uncle always host a big dinner and her dad drives two hours to get there, and she always spends the drive listening to new music and planning new makeup looks to test out

she has a ton of cousins because each of her parents has 4 siblings, but their ages are all so spread out that shes only close with a few of them and swaps stories from the year with three of them

they all lost their shit over MC when she brought her to their Christmas Eve dinner, hugging her way too much in Lottie’s opinion and telling her as many embarrassing stories as they could think of

her mum spent the car ride there trying to connect with MC, and they actually got on pretty well, but her dad seemed to click with MC even more for whatever reason, giving her a beer when they got back to Lottie’s parent’s house and turning on Lottie’s favourite slasher film for background noise while they talked

her dad made MC swear that she’d come back next year, that they weren’t allowed to trade between MC’s family for Christmas and Lottie’s, and MC agreed with a laugh as Lottie’s head was in her lap, watching the movie

Hannah:

she has a huge traditional family

three older brothers, two older sisters, and a younger brother

she grew up in the country and her mother had horses that she always loved to spend time with cuz i love her but she was 100% a horse girl

her parents never had any problems, were always happy and sappy and that was the only type of relationship she saw growing up, so before Love Island she didn’t really understand that relationships could be bad and how to deal with that

two of her older brothers and both of her sisters are married, her brothers and one sister have kids, again super traditional and happy, which only further reinforced these fairy tale ideals she has

she loves her nieces and nephews, but never felt like an aunt, more of an older cousin for whatever reason

her oldest sibling is her brother, they’re 13 years apart and he has four kids already, hes been married since 21

her oldest sister got married the oldest at 25, and shes always been worried she won’t match up to them, which was a huge motivator to go on Love Island

shes closest with her middle sister, who’s 23 with no kids, but she still has a nice house in the suburbs with a big yard, still crazy nuclear

her whole life has been spent around this type of tradition, and it was really hard for her to break out of it after Love Island

Hannah’s youngest brother is still only 15, and hes a bit of a black sheep - hes alt and dyes his hair and draws tattoos on his arms during school, and she was never close with him before Love Island, but after she comes out as some kind of queer, he comes out as gay and nonbinary(he/they) and they get really close for once

he gets in a fight with their parents when they’re 17, and he runs to Hannah’s place, driving multiple hours to get there and moves in with her after a few weeks

they stay with her until they graduate uni with a degree in education, getting a job at a school and telling all their students that his sister was on Love Island and her girlfriend’s really cool

MC and him are her biggest encouragement to break from the mold her family set, both so her relationship can thrive and to be a good role model for her younger sibling

she struggles with fitting in with her stereotypical family and siblings that all have multiple kids and nice houses, but she still loves her little mishmash of MC, her sibling, and the constant friends that cycle through their flat - Lottie, Priya, Chelsea, Gary sometimes even, Ibrahim once or twice as hes on a golf tour

Lottie loves her sibling and sometimes does makeup for them, and Chelsea always shows up unexpected to hang out with MC and redecorate their house but Hannah hates it because she likes all the memories her clutter has, even if MC calls her a hoarder sometimes

she had so many hand me downs growing up that now she has her own place, she loves filling it with things that are for her and MC and only them and has a really hard time letting go of things, always reasoning that they might give her inspiration to write or something

AJ:

shes an only child too, which made her dad treat her as much like as son as he could

her parents struggled to conceive, so once they used IVF to have her they didnt want to go through it again

her dad was super excited when she was interested in sports and is her biggest fan, always showing up to every single game and driving her to practices before she moved out, though she still doesn’t have a car cuz she hates driving, its too much pressure

her dad would watch games with her and coach her during off seasons, her uncles a football coach and used to get them tickets when he could, sometimes letting her train with his team when she was a teenager

her mum didnt like how hard she pushed herself, but was still supportive of how much she loved it 

her mums a mathematician and always helped her with her homework because she awful at maths, while her dad would try and teach her history or edit papers until her mum had to step in and correct him

when she came out as bi and later gay, they didnt even bat an eye, her mum making her pride color cupcakes and her dad maybe even being excited that he could point out cheerleaders when they were watching games

her mum didn’t quite understand when she wanted to go on Love Island, but her dad thought it’d be a laugh and further enforced her “just have fun” attitude

but her parents are both crazy happy when she wins with MC, making a banner when AJ first brings her home

she thought her dad would crush MC when he started hugging her, and her mum made an entire cake, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, and more sweets that she made them take home

her parents always make her and MC come over for dinner on Sundays and she started noticing the extra effort they always went to - her dad actually dressing nice, the house was super clean, the dog always had recently been given a bath

even though she knew her parents supported her, seeing all that really calmed her nerves about bringing home a girl, and made her coming out as a gay a lot easier

MC and her alternate between their family’s for holidays, and her parents each invite their brother and their families every time, and after their third holiday at her parents, they bought her and MC a dog

her and MC definitely have a pretty traditional family life, married after a few years with a nice house, going as far as to adopt a kid or two when AJ stops playing professionally, her parents always closely involved with their grandkids

Disclaimer - I don’t know if Yasmin or Lily make mentions of their family, so I’m just going with what I think

Yasmin:

her mother passed when she was 12, and her and her younger sister were raised by her dad

he wasn’t always the best dad, sometimes he struggled to make time for them with work, or sometimes he struggled to connect with them, but it was never anything too bad

she was always super close to her sister and parented her as she was growing up since they have a 9 year difference between them

her sisters her biggest fan and always makes her send demos and work in progresses so she can listen to them on repeat, and whenever Yasmin writes a song specifically for her she loses her mind

all her friends love Yasmin’s solo music and Enchanted Husband and she brags nonstop

Yasmin figured out she liked girls pretty young, around 10 or so, but only came out when she was 17. she didnt want her sister to ever feel alone or isolated if she ended up being queer too, so she tried to always be open about who she was

her dad sat her down when she bought a pride flag and had her explain everything to him step by step, and he gave her some space for a few days, but then he offered to take her to pride when it came around 

he doesn’t talk about it with her much, and she knows he doesn’t fully understand, but he offers his support whenever he thinks she needs it

her sister absolutely fangirled over MC the first time she met her, hugging her and not letting go until Yasmin nearly pulled her off MC

her dad hugged her too but was far more reserved, hes quieter like her, and tends to keep his distance, whereas her sister has no problem shrieking and making a scene in a train station

later that night her dad pulls her aside and tells her he likes MC and thinks shes a good fit, and her sister has no problem saying how cool MC is, even when shes in the room

her sister and her dad always ask for tickets when shes touring nearby, and MC always offers to take them to dinner before the show, and the three of them get on better than Yasmin expected

she thought her dad might be too distant or her sister too excitable, but even if she’d never say anything, seeing them all get on makes things easier

when her sister gets older and moves out, their dad moves closer to Yasmin, even though he never says exactly why, and there’s a few years where her sister and her are both to busy to meet up, but MC makes them hang out together and then get dinner with their dad when their all in town

MC tends to be her reminder to slow down, and after that dinner she cancels the rest of her tour and takes a two year break in which her sister starts spending weekends at Yas and MCs, their dad visiting often too

Lily:

she has three full brothers and shes the only girl, her parents are divorced and her dad remarried while her mother stayed single

she has a step sister from her dad’s remarriage, but they dont have much in common and didnt grow up together, her parents only split when she was 15

two of her brothers are older than her and her oldest is the one shes closest with, with a gap of 7 years between them

hes an engineer and into cars too, he helped her fix up her first car and helped her pay for college

her youngest brother is only a year below her, but they were never close, he was never that interested in playing in the mud when they were kids

hes an art and english double major and still lives with their dad, hes closer with their step sister than Lily, but there’s no bad blood or anything

her other brother is a middle ground, three years older than her

he’s an accountant and used to drive her around before she could herself, they bonded over a few small mutual interests like a tv show they would binge together and just staring a space together since they shared a room, her younger brother and step sister across the hall

her dad wasn’t crazy active in her life and she doesn’t know her step mother, but her mum worked from home when she was younger and had custody on weekends

she babied her younger brother and always scolded Lily for being a tomboy and it bothered her a lot when she was little, until her older brother started encouraging it

her brothers all love MC, even her youngest, and they all try and bond with her in a different way

sometimes Lily goes home just to find a note that one of her brothers took MC to a movie or dinner or somewhere else, and she wants to be annoyed with them for it, but she likes the validation

she never officially came out, so none of them saying anything or criticizing her is really comforting, knowing that something so trivial doesn’t matter

her mum was a little shocked by the show and MC, but she tries to be polite and eventually comes around, inviting MC to go shopping to bond

her dad has no problem, her step mother being a little confused but not concerned, and her step sister doesn’t care, just nods at MC the first time she meets her

Lily tends to keep her distance from her family, especially when her older brothers find partners and start families, but is fine going to events, sometimes its nice to see her brothers and catch up

[the-goddess-of-mischief-writing]

Liar’s dice {4}

Description; Loki is Laufey’s son and you are torn between head and heart at the haunting realisation. You run into him in your helpless state, but is the prince’s comforting words just the lies of a snake or is it perhaps those of a jealous king?

Pairing: Loki x reader

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: 4/5

Word count; 2.535

Warnings; Angst, triggering scene, tiniest bit of fluff if you squint

Author; @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing​

A/N: I’M SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING THIS CHAPTER LAST WEEK, I had so much school stuff to catch up with that I simply forgot. Nevertheless, here is the  second to last chapter of my proud and joy series. Hope you’re ready for the upcoming angst!

SERIES MASTERLIST

He had mentioned a war between Asgardians and Jotuns, though you had seen fear more profound than just the one seen along war. Now you knew you had seen the war he battled with himself. You could not be sure, though your inclination told you the trip to Jotunheim caused Loki to start question something, there could not be any other cause he asudden sought for an answer. And now he had one, one which came in two mere words, Laufey's son.

Since you had managed to sneak out from the vault, the word had echoed in your mind, provoking something inside you. Yet, you could not call it fear nor anger, simply being lost. Your emotions could never be placed, as they whirled around like an autumn storm, yet at the same time, you came to understand things you would not have been able afore. Now you knew why he never felt like he belonged in the crowds of Asgardian's. This was not his home, it had had never been, though still, you felt the words that should not matter, reoccurring. Thus none knew what race he was off, none could use it as the reason why he was not approved or favoured. Though you knew it served as a reason for him.

"I have a thought why you are in this state of mind, my dear, though I do not like seeing you this way", the words of Frigga brought you back and not afore did you noticed your gaze had drifted to the golden floor. Feeling disrespectful for wanting to ignore the Allmother, you slowly, almost as if it pained, raised your eyes. Afore founding the Queen already studying you from the opposing side of the bed, your eyes trailed over of the Allfather resting in the restoration bed.

"I should be the one offering console", you managed a small smile. "It must pain you to see him like this", you tried to veer the attention away from you, something which did not work.

"It does pain me, whereas I am exhausted, you seem more torn", you could not but sigh, the Allmother always have had a keen eye on the well being of people.

"It seems so, does it not?" Even if you would've tried repressing the smile, it would have broken out anyway. The heart of Frigga reached far, even so, you were glad you had been one of those let into it. However, the matter of your shifting emotions, none but yourself could detangle, even though you believed the Queen could lend a knowing hand. "I am grateful for your worry, though you do not need to further do so, you have enough to think about".

"If that is what you wish", she closed her eyes as she nodded and if you had not known what disappointment looked on her, you would have believed that what was she felt. "Then I will only advise you to at least go and rest", her expression changed to a more sincere one as a warm smile conveyed her lips as she looked upon you.

"You should take your own advice, Frigga", her smile widened to your words and with a last a nod you departed from the chamber.

The second you stepped outside you noticed the hallway did not hold the same warmth as the restoration chamber, the reason plain, it lacked the sun which the Queen let flood into the room. Pressing out a heavy sigh, you slowly walked down the hallway towards your chamber. You understood how the only prince left in the realm could have been imprisoned in his thoughts, as so were the case for you. Although you were not left with them alone for long. Suddenly, you felt a grip on your upper arms, then you noticed the close proximity to another person.

"You should see of where you walk", looking up you met the gaze of Loki, only then understanding you had been close to walk into him.

"I should", he tilted his head at your terse answer, brows raising as he studied your face. You could not look away, so when his gaze settled to meet yours again, it was by no surprise.

"You look exhausted", he stated, a heavy sigh leaving you at hearing it once more.

"I am".

"You do not need to worry for the Allfather", you caught how he did not say his father.

"That is not the cause", he furrowed his brows.

"You can speak to me of the matter".

"Though will you stay long enough to answer?" This time, a sigh escaped him, gaze turning away at the same time his hands left your arms from where they had halted your movement.

"I beg for forgiveness for leaving you so suddenly, I hope it does not change anything?" He never mentioned the questioned you asked, neither did he give a reason for why he stormed off. The information you were not surprised was withheld, as he did not know you already knew of the answers. However, you were taken aback to the last part of the sentence. At that moment, the passive and newly found easy irritated side of your emotions were stoked away to a more extensive one you could not control. Something in his voice, in his question, brought memories of an old conversation. A warmth made a small smile you could not control form.

"It will not, my prince", a rare look passed his features, one you nevermore saw beside when the two of you were alone.

"I am glad to hear so, my lady".

His words did not clear your mind, though somehow it made a shimmer of light shine through them and in your lonesome, you come to understand why. He had assured you that his old self still was there. Perhaps that was why you had felt lost because you did not know if the prince you had gotten to know would be the same after discovering what both of you had. Now though, when you got to witness a side he never feigned, it reassured your heart, perhaps more so than your head.

Strolling through the halls, much less like a dire creature from the vast lands of Svartalfheim, your thoughts still lingered with the prince. You could not fully grasp the situation yet, though now somehow you knew your worry did not need to be heeded, therefore you were to change that.

Though the sun quickly descended, the markets were lively in the luminescent lanterns. The golden light reflected in the buildings and in the trifle stuff tradesman sold. You came to spend some coinage, though nothing had found your interested enough, aside from the conversing you had done. You knew a few merchants, as you had bought from them many times afore, and it had become routine to visit them when you were at the market. They were happy to see you, greeting you in a leisure way few inside the palace walls did, though you were glad to receive. You did not stay long by each stall, feeling bad for taking up their attention, which instead could be placed on selling. Thus soon you went along the main street of the market place again, yet the crowds thinned out the more leeway for the moon the sun gave. The sound from alehouses started to rise as vendors caroused there, raising a pint for their successes of the day. You knew it was your sign to head back, merely for safety. A drunken Thor could easily be handled thus his politeness as a prince, though a drunken tradesman had no such manners to follow.

Nevertheless, as you neared the castle gates, were guards stood on either side, something stopped you from fulfilling your course. Walking towards you, hushed conversation flowing between them, were The Warriors Three and Lady Sif.

"Why the sombre faces?" Upon hearing your voice, they silenced and looked forward with sullen looks. They did not utter a word at first, though they stopped once you met halfway. "Please tell me, my friends, I have not seen much of you these past days".

"So we could say as well, Lady Y/N", Fandral spoke with a smile, albeit it was strained, unlike his usual lenient one. "We hope you are well?"

"I am, though your caring thought can not sway mine from my query", they shared a look you understood none aside from them knew the true meaning of. It was not long, though when Lady Sif closed her eyes and huffed out some air, you understood they had come to a conclusion.

"Heimdall might have forecast we would search for Thor", she explained as she met your gaze.

"Why would the request of your presence from Heimdall put you in this dull mood?" You did not understand, the Allfather had only banished Thor, not forbid one to visit him.

"Loki forbid us to do so", the female warrior stated.

"Why is that his to decide?"

"So now you are king?" Your voice and steps echoed in unison and brought the heavy gaze of Loki to you. He sat upon the throne, Gungnir in his grip, as he silently watched you closing in. Waving his hand, the guards stationed before him bowed and then began walking the opposite way of you. You passed them, not long after stopping before Loki. You did not flinch, neither look over your shoulder, as you heard the gates to the immense hall open then close. You examined him, armoured as on the coronation though now a different smile sat upon his lips.

"Though it is due sorrowful measures, it seems that way", your smile had dropped when instead of answering the question, The Warriors Three and Lady Sif had passed you to continue heading for the Bifrost. Although now, it felt like your heart dropped. Though you had spoken to him mere hours ago and his words then had eased your worried mind, the way he now conversed, brought it up again.

"So it seems", you forced a smile and a nod of your head, trying to make it as believable as you could.

"Another thing that causes things to seem, is that you managed to enter", he did not ask, he stated.

"I merely said I had come to speak to the King".

"King...yes", he did not leave his place upon the throne to come and speak to you, instead, he only leaned forward while observing you. "You were one of Odin's most favourable council members, will such continue with me", his voice had changed. You could only etch the image to the time a snake invitingly had hissed at you to advance, so it then could strike.

"I serve the king", though the words before had brought pride, something inside you now recoiled to utter the phrase.

"Oh, but you should do more than so", your breath caught in your throat at his words. "You are not beneath the king, you are his equal". If the words had not sounded like those of possession or been said as he looked down on you from the throne, mayhap you would have been jovial.

"So it does not feel when I am looked on from above", you felt how you trembled, though your voice did not come out the same. Your steady and seemingly confident manner appeared to convey a challenge to Loki.

The sound of smoothened metal echoed as he placed the spear on its designated place to be held on the throne. However, his eyes never left yours as he stood up and then slowly prolonged each step when walking down the stairs. You followed him as he came closer, his gaze nor ever leaving you. As he stopped before you, you noticed that something twisted lured in his eyes. This was not your Loki.

"You have changed".

"Yes, now I am a King". Though a smirk twisted his lips, it was not of mischief.

"Then why can I trace your change, not since you became king, but since you got the answer of what conveyed your mind?" His grin ceased, yet his stoic expression withstood.

"What such are the answer you speak about?" He dared you and usually so a banter would begin, though what you voiced would bring anything but such.

"That you are Laufey's son, a Frost Giant", you had no chance to react, as his hand came to clutch under your jaw, fingers digging into your cheeks.

"Lies", he hissed close to your face, though, for anyone passing, it may as well looked like you did something much less innocent then just conversing. "You are lying", his tone and how he acted was far from what you knew he would, therefore you did not shy from proving him wrong.

"I followed you to the vault, though neither you nor your father..."

"He is not my father!"

"...sensed my presence", you did not let yourself get affected by his outburst, though so you became when continuing. "I was there when you got to know, I was there to hear your anguish, but what does it justify you doing this?" You gripped his hand and tore away from him, glaring at the person you did not know. He looked stunned, mouth opening slightly, just like when he not have been able to tell you the words he wanted the day before.

"You are to abandon me like everyone else, just because of what I am".

"It is not because I now know what you are, it is because you are not the prince I once got to know. The prince I got to know was clever and cunning, yet he did have a heart", he clenched his jaw, eyes close to slits, unlike the violent storm you before had seen. "The Loki I knew fit the title of king, but jealousy never does", he cracked, you visibly saw the difference. He took charge of his emotion, restraining it like a horse tamer, the shimmer of the vulnerability of which the mare would show when beginning to trust, reflecting in his stance. He knew your words had rung true.

"As your king, I commend you to go", his voice was not threatening, not overpowering, yet he tried so fruitlessly it would remain that way.

"I have already committed treason, my king, there is no reason to command me", you spat.

"Then can I beg you", he did no longer try to sustain his front, although he still did not watch you, as his eyes were set upon the balcony to the side. But you heard it, you heard something which urged you to take the step closer which was needed for you to place your hand on his cheek, to redirect the concentration to you and not the frenzy you once more saw build in his persona. Though you did not, as you knew as soon as your fingers brushed his skin, he would flinch away as if something holy had burned him. He had waded too deep into the raging water from a broken dam, thus he did not even look at you a last time before you left.

[songfell-ut]

Chapter 1, I suppose

...Hello! It looks like this thing is on. So. Hi.

I am posting this because I saw an Undertale comic by @lostmypotatoes on one of those dub channels, and it was such a neat and unfinished concept that I started writing an original story based on it. Then I contacted her and she was super sweet about my thievery and I was like ha ha too bad I didn’t make this a UT fic and now I wrote this too.

I don’t know any of the usual formatting or etiquette for posting fic on here because I’m old and don’t do stuff. Sorry! (I signed up here for this very purpose.) It’s...good gravy, almost 7,000 words. Anyway! Here you go, let me know if I should look into Witchfell I don’t know I just did him Underfell but there’s witches

*takes Valium*

~~~

"Make way! The High Priestess approaches!"

The monster sat up in his prison cell, focusing on a slim figure coming down the stairs. In the room's single witchlight, he could make out a few details: a black gown with a narrow skirt that flared over the stone floor, a spiked headdress, and a long, dark veil over her features. The orange pinpricks of his eyes narrowed.

The guards stood at attention as the priestess approached the cell, her head high and her hands demurely folded. "Make haste, men!" barked the captain. "Secure the creature! Tighten those bonds!"

She stopped just short of the bars as the guards made a show of pulling levers on either side of the cell, stretching the chains tighter on the monster's limbs. "How long has he been here?" she asked.

"Three days, my lady," the captain said, "but he has refused all of his meals."

The priestess looked steadily at the captive monster. "Does he have a name?"

"He calls himself 'Sans,' my lady," the captain replied.

The High Priestess' headdress tilted to one side. "You know, Captain, wood and iron bars cannot hold a boss monster," she said quietly.

The men jumped as the monster snorted—as much as a skeleton could do so. "Funny, I told 'em the same t'ing," he said, his voice rough and painfully loud in the tiny space.

The captain gripped his sword hilt with one hand. "Silence, monster!" he snapped.

"No, let him speak," said the priestess.

Sans grinned wider, baring huge, jagged teeth. Though he remained sitting, he towered over the humans on the other side of the bars, especially the young woman. "How generous of you, witch," he said mockingly. "Tell me, how may I repay your kindness? Let you take my SOUL? Harvest my magic? Or add me to yer evil little collection?"

The guards muttered to each other in dismay. "How dare you speak to her with such disrespect?" demanded their captain. "She is the High Priestess of this realm, and you will address her as such!"

"Wow, what a loyal dog. You heard 'er, I get to talk," retorted the skeleton. He glared down at the priestess, ignoring the captain's sputtering. "Now, witch. Tell me. What are ya gonna do t'me? I ain't very fond of surprises. My heart can't take it." He placed his bony palm on his chest. "Grant me this one kindness, ya magic thief."

The High Priestess did not move. "Captain. Free him."

Sans lifted the equivalent of an eyebrow as the men gasped. "High Priestess," protested the captain.

"Release the bonds," she said.

The captain swallowed. "Is this a wise—"

"Free him, now." The woman's hands dropped to her sides as the guards reluctantly pushed the levers back up. "Sans, I'd like to make you my apprentice," she told the bemused skeleton. "In return, I will give you your freedom."

Stunned silence hung in the air. "You want me to be your apprentice?" the monster repeated. He looked at her, and he threw his head back and roared with laughter.

The captain bristled, moving in front of the woman with his sword drawn, then stepping back at her murmured command. The other men winced as the monster's laughter echoed off the walls. "Stars! That is rich!" Sans slapped his thighbone. "Ya know," he said, more conversationally, "I'd be less offended if ya dragged me out an' forced me to be yer slave."

Suddenly, his grin had no humor in it. The priestess tensed as the monster reached up to grasp his collar. "Do ya think I'm stupid? Me as your apprentice, witch? Please, don't fool yerself with your own lies!" The collar shattered, crumbling to dust. He gave another laugh, eyes glowing a hellish orange. "But I guess I should thank you for the opportunity," he said savagely. "'Cause now I'm going to—"

The air around him exploded in white-hot flame as the monster's voice rose to a bellow of "KILL YOU ALL!"

~

Power raced through the skeleton in scintillating waves, lighting the cell as bright as a hot day. Now Sans could do what he'd dreamed of since that first human sorcerer had caught him unawares: murder everyone in his path. There were so many possibilities! Fire was fun, but usually worked too fast. He could always tear them limb from limb, but that was messy and labor-intensive. Then there was blue magic, which turned them into stupid, flailing rag dolls, easy to pick up and impossible to put d—

A twinge of suspicion interrupted his musings. Where was the screaming, or the sound of fleeing footsteps? Sans lowered his aura until he could see the room clearly, and what he saw chilled him to his very SOUL.

His attack hadn't killed anyone. It hadn't even singed them. The cell's bars had disintegrated, but now a translucent golden haze stretched from floor to ceiling, and his magic was splashing off it like raindrops off an umbrella. The guardsmen were bravely huddled by the stairs, slack-jawed but unharmed, while the High Priestess stood right where she'd been, hand raised and lips moving.

Sans was not quite so confident now. In fact, his first impulse was to run away screaming. This was the stuff a monster's nightmares were made of: he was trapped by a barrier.

Once upon a time, he'd tormented his brother with stories about a bad little skeleton who went out alone after dark, or talked to strangers, or didn't do his big brother's chores for him, and it always ended with the bad skeleton getting caught by a human. All monsters heard those bedtime stories and learned that there was no escape from barriers; not even the King was strong enough to break one, and just touching them would kill you. If you were lucky, the human would drag you off to be their slave, never to be seen again. If you weren't, they'd squeeze the magic from your body or snap your ribs open to dig your SOUL out, then leave you to die and let your dust blow away.

Panic closed over him like a shroud. He gathered all of his magic and threw himself into a shortcut out of the castle, only to strike an invisible wall and bounce right back into the cell. Shaking his head to clear it, Sans looked around and realized that the barrier had him boxed in on all sides.

Anger saved him, as it always had. In another moment, he wasn't afraid anymore; he was furious at his captors and their whole cheating, thieving, murdering, thoroughly worthless race.

And it was the worst possible moment for the priestess to open a small hole in the barrier and say, "Sans, please calm yourself. I don't want to hurt you."

She snapped the barrier shut half a second before a wickedly pointed bone thudded into it, the tip nearly touching her nose. "So be it," the young woman said tightly, and the bone evaporated as the barrier glowed brighter.

Sans knew better than to waste his energy in an all-out assault. Instead, the boss monster contemplated the force it'd take to punch through one small area around her neck or her heart. He might still be afraid, but every fiber of his being wanted that woman dead on the floor. So...

With a flick of his wrist, he summoned an array of massive, razor-sharp bones, almost too many for the cell to hold, and began firing them at blinding speed, one right after another. The priestess didn't react, but as he struck the same few inches of barrier over and over again, he saw bits of gold flake away, revealing a tiny crack.

He smirked, focusing his magic to hit harder and faster. So much for scary stories. Her people might have been glorifying her as some kind of mighty sorceress, but she was just another stupid human, witch or not. She'd raised her other hand to reinforce the spell, but more and more cracks were forming. You're boned, he thought, chuckling to himself.

Still, as he watched and waited for the golden light to shatter, he had to feel some grudging admiration. Most of the magic-wielding humans he'd killed were big, blustery men, and none of them had lasted half as long as this scrawny female. What kind of SOUL did the witch have, anyway? He'd seen just about every color there was, and figured she was stubborn enough to be purple, or maybe a patient cyan, or even orange for bravery. After all, he was throwing out everything he had, and she wasn't backing down. The skeleton squinted at her through the barrier, searching for the telltale spark of—ah, there it was. There...it...was.

For the second time, Sans looked at her and knew instantly that he was boned. Despite the ferocity of his attacks, the cracks in the barrier were starting to fill themselves in, and the air crackled with another surge of her magic. A merry little chorus of Shiiiiit shit shit shit rang in his head as he stared at her blazing-red SOUL, and it only got louder when he remembered what that color meant.

Determination.

It didn't matter that she was just a human. His intention to kill her was nothing compared to her will to live. As the bones he conjured came slower and weaker, dissolving as they hit the barrier, Sans knew with horrible certainty that he wasn't going to win.

The stories had to be true after all. Unless the priestess got careless and he could either kill her or use a shortcut, he was going to have to do whatever she wanted for as long as she said. But maybe, if he caught her off guard...

Sans let his arm drop. The last few bones clattered to the floor, and he sank to his knees, head bowed. Behind the High Priestess, the men all breathed a sigh of relief.

To her credit, the woman didn't let the spell go. She poked her head through for a better look at him, motioned to the guards to stay where they were, and knelt in front of the massive skeleton, halfway inside the barrier. "I'm not surprised that you wanted to escape. I can almost excuse you for trying," she said. Her voice was calm enough, and as far as he could tell with her veil on, her face was still expressionless.

He would have bought it if he hadn't noticed her hands clenching in her lap. "Almost?" the skeleton asked, head still lowered, eyes fixed on her.

"Almost."

He shrugged, watching her knuckles turn white. "Guess that's why yer the High Priestess, huh?"

"It is. None of my magic is stolen," she said.

"'Course not. Our power's no good in barriers. We ain't that stubborn, or that dumb," he added bitterly.

"My offer stands," she continued, as if he hadn't spoken. "Do you have any questions or conditions you'd like to propose?"

Sans glanced at her headdress. The spikes atop it dipped in and out of the golden curtain as her head drooped. She had to have expended most of her power holding him off; after several days with no food or sleep and then wasting all that effort on the barrier, he was pretty worn out himself. Too bad monsters couldn't take a human's magic, just her...

Her SOUL. It took all his self-control not to jump to his feet in excitement. Why the hell hadn't he thought of that? An ordinary monster who absorbed an ordinary human SOUL was supposed to grow incredibly powerful. What would happen if a boss monster gained all the power of a gifted and highly determined witch?

The High Priestess shook herself and sat up straighter. "Please answer me, Sans. I don't think either of us wants to go through that again."

"No," he admitted, shifting his weight back, edging toward the wall. Sure enough, she unconsciously moved closer, a few more inches into the cell. "I do have one question," he said, moving back again.

The woman frowned, scooting almost all the way out of the barrier. "What is it?"

He slowly, delicately reached down and tapped on her headdress, gentle as a light breeze. "Mind if I get a better look at ya?"

The priestess started. For the first time, she seemed uncertain. "I..." She frowned, and as she opened her mouth again, Sans lunged at her.

There was no question of her ducking behind the barrier in time. Before she even knew that he'd moved, one of the skeleton's hands had closed around her torso and lifted her as easily as a child holding a doll. The barrier vanished behind her, and Sans said casually, "Heel, or I'll stomp 'er like a grape."

The guards froze in the act of drawing their swords. The priestess started to say something, but he flexed his hand ever so slightly, and she stopped.

Sans smiled. He considered her for a moment, wondering if he should crush her anyway and squeeze her out slowly in front of the guardsmen, the way humans drained a monster's magic. It was tempting, and kind of poetic, but he decided he'd better not; he didn't want to damage her SOUL. Besides, she'd put up a hell of a fight. If anyone deserved a quick death, it was—

"Sans," she said. To his astonishment, she worked her arm out over his fingers and rested her hand on his knuckle. "Please," she murmured.

Normally, he would have laughed at a human begging him for mercy, but this didn't feel like begging. She was just looking at him calmly.

...No, the crazy bitch wasn't asking, she was telling. She was distressed, but expectant, as if she was just waiting for him to put her down and apologize!

He should've squished her or bashed her against the wall for that. But, somehow, as the veiled priestess stared into the fire of his eye sockets, the idea of breaking her didn't seem much fun anymore. Her head lowered and tipped to one side, and all of a sudden, it was like his mind – his memory – got pulled sideways.

As he stared back at her, he was no longer facing a mortal enemy. He was back in a moment he thought he'd forgotten, standing in front of his house in Snowdin. A tiny human in a striped shirt was holding his hand and smiling up at him with perfect, stupid trust, and he knew that however much he despised humanity, he could never hate this kid, any more than he could reach up and stop the sun in its orbit. Why did he have to think of it now, when he needed all the homicidal energy he could muster?

With a painful effort, Sans tore himself away from that memory, back to the present and the woman in his hand. The skeleton growled, starting under his breath and working up to a snarl that reverberated throughout the stone walls. To hell with her. To hell with all of them!

Lack of space was a definite issue, but Sans prided himself on adaptability. He extended his arm to its full length, nearly shoving her into the frightened guards, which gave him enough room to materialize a single blaster.

It was much smaller than usual, and that was fine, because it'd concentrate the last of his power into one good shot. The skull shone an incandescent red, eyes aflame and fangs glinting in its own light, literally nose-to-nose with the High Priestess. Sans let his rage and frustration rise like a tide of pure filth, distantly surprised that he could still feel some grief beneath it all, and the blaster's mouth creaked open from the pressure building in its throat.

The priestess had pulled herself upright with her free arm. The scarlet luminescence was right up against her eyes, but she screwed them shut and leaned forward, face set with determination.

In his haste to align the blast and hit all the humans at once, Sans didn't hear anything unusual; he didn't even notice when the light dimmed just a little, or that the pressure had stopped rising. But then a shock ran through him like a hand grabbing his SOUL, and he jerked out of his concentration to see – and feel – the woman stroking the blaster's nose as if it was an overexcited puppy. "It's all right," she said, so low that he barely heard her. "Please, stop. It'll be all right. I promise." And he'd be damned if the giant skull wasn't closing its mouth and leaning into her hand!

No one had actually touched one of his blasters before. They were long-distance weapons, and he used them as such, only getting close when it was fun or strategic to do so. His first reaction was horrified indignation; he might be about to vaporize her, but for crap's sake, he wasn't being inappropriate.

As she kept petting, though, she leaned in and rested her forehead on the skull's lower jaw, and the skeleton felt an alien sensation steal over him, something he didn't recognize at first. The light dimmed further; the skull's jaws drifted shut. For the first time, Sans heard a soft, rich sound—it was the woman humming to herself, or to the blaster, as if trying to soothe it.

And it was working. Sans felt as if he'd been drugged, with a sense of...peace? Was that it? Yes, it was absolute peace washing over him, relaxing his grip so that the young woman had to catch herself before she fell out of it. She might have been smiling faintly beneath the veil, but he couldn't focus enough to tell. He wondered if it was the same magic that had made him think of Kris, a distraction to save herself and kill him before he attacked again.

No...he wasn't drugged or under some kind of spell. Sans remembered feeling this way when he was a lot younger, and a couple of times during the humans' last visit to the Underground, when he and Pap discovered that at least one human was worth something. Of course, then they'd lost him, and there were no more humans worth anything.

It never failed to amaze him. They'd had less than a month together, but all these years later, he still missed the little bastard so much that it hurt.

Luckily, the pain didn't last. The woman kept humming, and Sans grew less and less angry. The blaster made a kind of purring sound and vanished; at the same time, Sans' arm fell, releasing the priestess, allowing her guards to rush in and pull her away.

The boss monster gazed at the angry humans with total detachment, scratching the back of his head as he yawned. She'd won. "You win," he mumbled.

"Are you all right, my lady?" demanded the captain, helping her sit down against the wall.

The humming had stopped. The young woman rubbed her eyes, keeping them shut. "Don't kill him, please" was all she said.

Sans closed his eyes, too. The humans were conferring in rapid whispers on what to do with him, but he didn't care anymore. It was almost a relief when they stepped back, a couple of them grunted with effort, and something crashed into his skull, knocking him out.

~

Over a day later, the High Priestess shut the outer door to her chambers, set a covered tray on the table, and sat down at her mirror. She checked that her eyes were clear, or at least not so puffy anymore, then picked up her veil and headdress and settled them over her head. She stared at her reflection for a full minute, as if waiting for the woman in the mirror to get up first. She sighed, and finally pushed herself to her feet.

Just outside her bedroom, she paused, running a thread of magic ahead to check each of the loose barriers she'd set around the bed. Two ripples came back, one very close by. "Good morning. Please step back," she said into the slight crack in the door.

A pause, then a soft creak of floorboards, unnervingly quiet for something – someone – his size. "Further, please," she ordered.

He made a noise she couldn't interpret. Floorboards creaked again, and the bedframe groaned under his weight. The priestess turned the doorknob, picked up the tray, and elbowed the door open.

Sans was sitting on the edge of the bed, knees on his elbows. He had opened the windows, and in the early daylight, he looked even more menacing; the light shone through his filthy shirt, shadowing the spaces between his ribs. The young woman made herself place the tray on a side table and pull up a chair with perfect unconcern, as if she couldn't feel him staring her down. "I see you're all healed. You must have slept well," she said coolly. "I know I did."

The skeleton glanced behind him at the rumpled sheets. "Uh..."

"You were alone the whole time," the priestess hastened to add. "There's a very comfortable couch in my office that I've been using."

"Yer office, huh?" Sans stretched his arms out over his head, bones clicking softly as he rolled his neck around. "Pretty nice setup y'got here. What is this, silk? Real feathers?"

She inclined her head. "I would have removed you from your cell much sooner if I'd known you were there. No one told me until Duke Archibald asked me to help select your new owner, which, no, I am not." She grimaced. "May I ask how you were caught? You're certainly capable of defending yourself."

Sans didn't answer. The young woman was thinking of what else to say when he grunted and turned to stretch back out on the bed, splaying his limbs across the huge mattress. "This's the most comfortable place I ever slept, y'know that?"

"Me, too," she said before she could stop herself.

Sans glanced up, as if wondering whether he'd seen a glimpse of personality, and she cleared her throat. "Is it the same reason you made no attempt to break out of your cell for three days?"

"Got caught tryin'a steal some grain," the skeleton mumbled. "Not a lot of food in the Underground these days. I hadn't had anythin' for a while, so I was weak as hell."

"You refused to eat anything while you were imprisoned," she pointed out.

He shrugged. "I figured it was poisoned or drugged 'r some other shit. Humans don't get their mitts on a boss monster every day, but ya can't have five sorcerers watchin' me every second. Feeding me some kinda crap like that would be the easiest thing t'do."

That didn't feel quite right, but without more evidence, the priestess decided to leave it for now. Instead, she pulled the side table closer to the bed and removed the tray's cover.

Sans twitched at the sight of steaming hotcakes, piles of cheese-sprinkled eggs, tomatoes, and crisp-crusted sausage links. The priestess cut a tomato slice into quarters with her fork, speared one and, with the ease of long practice, took hold of her veil between two fingers and lifted it long enough to get the fork to her mouth, dropping it as she put the fork down.

"Seriously? Just take the damn thing off," the skeleton remarked, sitting up.

The young woman made a show of chewing, swallowing, and lifting another tomato to her mouth. He didn't have a stomach, but if he had, she probably would have heard it growling; he was shifting around and scowling, clearly agitated. So she quickened her pace, taking a huge bite of egg, a chunk of hotcake, and a sausage, in turn eating as fast as she could.

Sans' eyes had lit to orange again, and the priestess was glad to put the fork down. "There. You see? It isn't poisoned," she said briskly. She stood and pushed the side table over to the bed. "Help yourself."

The orange faded. His skull tilted this way and that, like a wary but curious animal. "What?"

"I had breakfast over an hour ago. This is for you," she explained.

He glanced at the tray, then back to her. She waited for a full ten seconds, almost holding her breath, before she was rewarded with a rude noise. "Can I have another fork? Don't want your germs," he said.

The priestess knew when she was being tested. She picked up the fork. She went to the nightstand and the pitcher of water standing ready, and dunked the fork in it, swishing vigorously. "Here. But first," she said, holding up the dripping utensil, "I'd like to get a few things straight."

He didn't move. A moment later, she felt a tug on the fork, and instantly snapped the connection by raising another barrier. "No cheating," she reproved him.

"I'm cheating?" The skeleton banged his fist on the bedpost. "How the hell are you doin' this? I'm not dumb, lady! Ya can't just slap a barrier on somethin' that blocks every kinda magic! I can't get out of here, I can't go blue, ya did some weird crap to my poor blaster—"

"I helped you calm down. You've been asleep for twenty-six hours, by the way."

He stopped dead, but only for a second. "Yeah? Well...well, how do ya know so damn much about what I can do? If I'd known this was gonna happen, I'd'a left a long time ago!"

"And yet you didn't." The woman crossed her arms, keeping the fork pointed away from him. "I don't believe that you were too weak to remove yourself from the situation, Sans. We all have our secrets, and I don't mind that, but I need to know that you won't take drastic measures before we've completed our arrangement."

"There is no arrangement, witch," he shot back. "I'll make you a deal, okay? Forget this apprentice crap, lemme go now, and I won't kill anyone on my way out. How's that?"

She tapped the fork on the pitcher's handle. "Your people possess almost no farmland, and the area we've left you has notoriously poor soil. Did you know there are several potions, all made from common ingredients, that could double your crop yields in the space of a few years?"

Sans started. "No, and I don't care," he said, but without conviction.

"You should. There are also potions that can heal wounds, preserve foodstuffs, and send you to sleep with no ill effects, using only the tiniest bit of magic. Do you mean to tell me that monsters need none of these things?"

The skeleton looked at her warily. She could almost see him thinking. His rough speech and rougher appearance didn't fool her: he was at least as intelligent as she was, and also cared enough to want to hear more. "So," he rumbled, "I learn all this fantastic secret knowledge, and you get...?"

"Insight. Humans have been fighting monsters for centuries, and the more we know about you—"

His eyes flamed. "The easier it is to kill us? You seriously think I'm gonna—"

"The easier we can stop dying!" she snarled, her anger suddenly flaring right back at him.

The boss monster's eyes went blank with astonishment. She took a long, deep breath that did not help at all. "Believe me or not, Sans, when I say that I want to make peace for everyone's sake. I am tired of hearing every unsolved crime and evil thought blamed on monsters. I am tired of arguing with sorcerers who want to seal the entrance to the Underground and let you starve to death so that we don't have to talk about it anymore. I am tired of mediating disputes over monster ownership, as if we had any right to help ourselves to other sentient beings, and I'm sick to death knowing where our magic comes from and being unable to stop it!"

She was almost panting now, gripping the fork like a trident. Sans was staring at her like she'd grown another head. She swallowed, and lowered the fork. For want of something peaceful to do, she dipped it back into the pitcher for more swishing. "Monsters are not completely blameless," she said quietly, "but you are outnumbered by a much crueler and stronger race, and we've taken that advantage too far. It has to change, Sans, but we cannot do anything until we learn to talk to each other again."

Sans' teeth ground together. "Have you ever read a history book?" he snapped. "Ya know what happened the last time we had humans over to play?"

The priestess stared at a spot on the wall. Sans looked up in alarm as the barriers surged in and out of visibility, hissing softly. "Yes," she said, and went on, reciting from memory: "Several people were killed in an explosion caused by faulty stage effects at a farewell gala for the human delegation, most notably Prince Asriel of the monster race. Though the exact cause of this unfortunate accident remains unclear, its scope and destructive power were hallmarks of human magic, leading to accusations of sabotage and assassination from both sides. War was prevented solely by the will of Queen Toriel, who was devastated by the loss of her son and adoptive daughter, but nevertheless prevented her husband from executing the remaining humans. The delegation was permitted to leave, and in exchange, humans promised the Underground would never be sealed."

"...O...kay, then. Yeah. That's...that's pretty much it." Sans rubbed the back of his neck, scratching between the vertebrae. "Knowin' that, you still think you can teach me a bunch of stuff, turn me loose, an' make everything all better?"

"No. But I can try." On impulse, the priestess knelt, looking up at him and hoping the effect wasn't spoiled by the dirty fork. "Sans, give me one month. That's all I ask. You can have copies of any recipe you need to take back with you, and I'll show you the techniques to make them work properly. You won't have much freedom of movement, but you won't be kept in a cell, either." She glanced at the feather mattress and added, "You can keep the bed for yourself. As luxurious as it is, I feel lost in it."

He didn't laugh, but he didn't sneer at her, either. His eyes went from the fork to the bedpost, the canopy, the bookshelves lining the walls by the fireplace, and back to her face. "I need some time t' think about it," he said reluctantly. "What happens if I don't wanna?"

Her magic crackled in the air again, and she winced, trying to calm down. "I'd rather not say, but I think you know the answer. Remember, I'm not the only human who can use barriers."

He did not like that, and she couldn't blame him. She looked down at the fork in her hand. "You should eat now," she said lamely, and held it out to him, handle first, praying she had judged correctly.

The skeleton's face was impossible to read. Now that it was quiet, it reminded her too much of when he'd grabbed her in the cell. Her instincts screamed at her to pull her hand back and throw a barrier between them, but determination surged as she remembered how she'd already faced down his attempts to kill her. She was going to forge a lasting bond between their worlds and hand him a kitchen utensil like a normal person or die trying.

Slowly, Sans reached down, and she fought to keep from panicking as his massive hand approached hers. He paused...and plucked the fork from her grip with delicate courtesy, holding it up between them. "Hm. Too small. Still dirty." He tossed it back into her lap.

She stared at the fork. She stared at him. She picked up the fork, dropped it into the pitcher, and plunged her hand in after it. Out came the utensil; she turned her back to him, and with one swift motion, off came her veil. As High Priestess, she wore it for most of her waking hours, which meant she'd learned to whip it off without even disturbing her headdress, the way she'd once seen someone yank a tablecloth out from beneath a set of dishes.

And as High Priestess, if she wanted to use her sacred veil to dry a mostly-clean fork in order to please a giant monster who was intimidating her and somehow also being a complete snot, then who was going to stop her? No one, that was exactly who.

With a righteous huff, she turned back around, still polishing the bedamned fork. "Here," she said, facing him for the first time. "I hope this is satisfactory."

Sans looked at her. He didn't say anything.

The world always seemed a little too bright when she'd just had the veil on, and the light from the window was in her eyes. She rubbed them on her sleeve and tucked a strand of shoulder-length hair behind her ear. "Well?" she demanded.

Sans didn't take it. He was leaning forward, hand dangling as if he'd started to reach for it and somehow forgotten what he was doing. His sockets were blank, an odd color washing over his bony face. "Uh," he said. "It's."

The priestess didn't know that that could be a complete sentence. It probably wasn't, she thought in growing irritation. "Sans," she said carefully, "are you going to use this, or would you like to eat with your hands?"

The skeleton shook himself and turned away. "Never mind. 'm not hungry," he grumbled.

She bit back the urge to call him a colorful name or two. "Sans, this is not a joke. There is nothing wrong with your food, except that it's cold. Eat it. Please."

"I will, I will." Sans hunched his shoulders. "Just gimme a couple minutes."

She did not have the time or patience for this. "Sans. Look at this." He glanced at her, and in one motion, she stabbed a sausage and another chunk of hotcake. "Say 'ahhh,'" she ordered, and when he blankly repeated, "Ahh?" she thrust the fork into his mouth.

Sans nearly choked, demanding, "Wh' th' fuh, 'a'y?" before he swallowed it whole. The priestess was fascinated to not see anything pass his throat, though she knew he had eaten it. "What the fuck, lady?" he clarified.

"I am not 'lady,' thank you, and I know you know better words than that," she said sternly, putting the fork back on the tray. "It's not my fault if it got cold."

"I don't care how hot or cold somethin' is, lady. Ya didn't give me a chance to get my tongue out, so it's all the same to me." The boss monster answered her puzzled look by concentrating, then opening his mouth and pointing. "Thee? Tah-dah."

Good God, he suddenly did have a small, floppy red tongue. She flapped her hand at him, face burning. "All right! I believe you! Put it away!"

He did, and she was relieved to see nothing but a mouth full of giant fangs. "So," he said presently, "if I'm not supposed ta call you 'lady,' what's your name?"

The priestess blinked. No one had asked her that in a long, long time. "Well...if you don't like 'my lady,' there's always 'Your Eminence,' or my ceremonial name, Thea." It occurred to her that he was probably not going to react well to any of her suggestions, but she soldiered on: "You could just say 'High Priestess,' though that's a mouthful. At the convent, they gave each of us a different saint's name, and I was—"

Sans held up his hands. "Okay. That sounds peachy. But what. Is. Your. Actual. Damn. Name?"

She grasped her skirt so hard that her nails dug into her palms through the thick velvet folds. "My name is Frisk."

Sans' eyes were blank again. "Huh. No wonder. Welp, nice to meet you, Frisk." He raised a hand.

It was a blatant lie, but cordially given, so she attempted a smile in return. "It's nice to meet you, too, Sans."

For some reason, that seemed to alarm him. He drew back, then suddenly grabbed the tray, tipped his head back, and dumped the entire contents into his mouth. He had no cheeks, but his face somehow looked very full before he swallowed it all, dropping the tray on the floor. "There. Where's the bathroom?" he rasped.

Frisk realized her mouth was hanging open, and shut it. "It's...why do you ask? You're a skeleton."

"Right. Right." He scuffed the bones of his foot on the carpet. "Oh, look at this. Fork yes."

Sure enough, he'd found the fork. She scooped it up, setting it on the table, and out of nowhere, the priestess felt a real smile lift the corners of her mouth. "Just in tines."

The words hung in the air for a long moment. Frisk was beginning to feel stupid when Sans smacked his thighbone and gave a shout of laughter. "I'll be damned! You got the point."

"It's food for thought," she said, and grinned as he doubled over. "I'm sorry. Please fork-give  me."

Just like that, she thought distantly. Yesterday – the day before? – she'd fought for her life against a boss monster who interpreted her overtures as a deadly threat, and now they were giggling in her room like drunken schoolgirls. Was this going to work after all? Was this how real peace began, with awkward silence and stupid puns? If not, Frisk could always console herself that this was the most she'd laughed in years.

~

Sans was not wondering the same thing. He was thinking how he'd woken up not knowing where he was and had had to figure out that he wasn't dreaming about the battle in his cell; a human witch really had trapped him and knocked him out with some kind of weird brain-magic. Once he got over the fact that he couldn't take any shortcuts and wouldn't fit through the windows, though, he had to admit things could be worse; the bed really was the most comfortable thing in the world.

Talking with the witch was not comfortable. It was bad enough when she was asking him questions about his capture and not breaking out of prison, but then she had to give him food and say things that made sense, and things that made even more sense, and then...

He'd never understood why human men made such a huge fuss over women. Monsters came in so many shapes and sizes that anything was possible; the inside really did count more than the outside, except maybe when it came to reproduction. But that was a rare occasion for monsters, who thought that humans' obsession with it was shallow and weird at best. Sans in particular had no interest in the human form unless he was trying to destroy it; they were all just skeletons with varying degrees of hair, meat and fluids in the way.

And then that infuriating woman had turned around in the sunlight, veil and stupid fork in hand, and he suddenly couldn't breathe. The overall picture was what made him feel a huge mess of feelings he didn't like or understand, but he could see every detail perfectly: her lips pursed in annoyance, the sun reflecting off that black circlet thing, chestnut hair shining and eyes half closed against the light. Her dress was still black, but today it was a looser, laced-up style, shoulders partly hidden under some kind of sheer material that ended high up her neck.

And then she had turned her head and done something with her hair, and now he couldn't think things right. All he could try to do was turn away, then eat it all in order to make her go away, and only his punning instinct had saved him from saying or doing anything else stupid.

Why did she have to like puns, too?

This was bad. It had gotten very complicated, very fast. He had to get out of here. She'd demonstrated some emotion behind her priestess-y facade; maybe he could appeal to it, persuade her to take some other monster under her wing and...wow. Speaking of wings, as she laughed, he happened to look down at her from a different angle, and she had a really nice rack. It was hard to see under such dark clothes, but they accentuated the graceful outline of neck and shoulder perfectly. Under the sheer material, her collarbone was—

"...going to do it," she was saying, wiping away tears of laughter. "I'm not all-powerful, but I have enough influence at court and with the Church to guarantee your safety." Frisk looked up at him, bright-eyed, and his SOUL did another loop-de-loop. "So, Sans. Will you stay?"

He didn't want to, it was a bad idea, and he said, "No," in his mind.

She smiled, tilting her head.

"Yeah," Sans said out loud.

[seblaine-rph]

I’ve gotten a lot of complaints about Joie University, claiming they’re guilty of all kinds of terrible things-- including but not limited to blatant racism, bullying, stalking, and harassment. So here are links to what’s been sent anonymously and posted previously, what’s still in my inbox, and the addition of someone’s longer, submitted experience all written up in one location. 

These are all from different people.

Joie Academy treated me like crap as well and practically told me that 'I seem like the kinda person no one would get along with in the real world'... I am surprised people are still there cause the admins are the worst and put me through so much.

Hey! I just want to warn people about Joie. I honestly thought it would have died by now with the toxic admins. I joined that group near the beginning and was kicked without a single word from the admins AFTER they internet stalked me and found out my exact location. They held, and probably still hold, a grudge against me for no reason, or at least none that has ever been explained to me. It's super creepy and I'd be wary.

If you are not a gay or bisexual white Male then stay away from Joie they pretend to be accepting but are not. As a minority female I was bullied constantly and the admins did nothing. But the moment the same person bullied a white male they kicked that person out. Joie is toxic.

Joie is the sole reason I ended up on Anti depressants....

Joie is 100% the most toxic RP I have ever been in. One of the admins is great, she is shy and let's the other admin walk all over her. Basically you are treated like a pariah if you weren't close or have a ship with that one admin. It took me ages to leave and when I did I actually began to feel happier. So I am glad you made that post and I hope that it will stop people from joining.

Honestly relieved to see Joie being exposed for the toxic roleplay that it is, you have given those who have stayed quiet a voice and now they're being exposed. And seeing everything they are saying is just re-affirmation that they are toxic. I was in Joie for a short period and time and I saw what the admins were saying to a friend of mine privately and it was disgusting. Good riddance.

I am done being silent about what Joie University did to me So I was in Joie for about 6 months, to be honest if I didn’t have my ship partner and one other friend there I would have left within a month. I played Mercedes and you know Mercedes gets enough hate on her own. But I joined and at first I was accepted by everyone so I thought, I finally found a group that I could join and enjoy. Boy was I wrong. It became very clear within a matter of a few weeks that they didn’t really like minority characters. I was among one of two minority charcters among mostly white males who were gay. But I ignored it because I thought it was a good environment. That is until a Sam player joined. That is when the hate started for me. Both an admin and another character wanted their character with Sam but Sam was interested in Mercedes. They were really great together but every day I found hate in my inbox and it was a really uncomfortable feeling. The person who played Jeff was one who wanted Sam for himself and it was clear by the way he spoke to Mercedes. It all came to a head when Jeff and Mercedes got into a fight because Jeff’s new boyfriend had hurt Sam’s feelings and Mercedes took up for her boyfriend. Jeff started being really disrespectful to her and then wrote a text to his boyfriend saying if Mercedes showed up to the sorority house he would kick her ass and kick her out by her nappy ass weave. That pissed me off. I felt like that was extremely disrespectful and racist. You don’t say things like that. It hurt me OOC as a black woman and IC as a Mercedes player But the admins did nothing. Then the player and their friend started harassing me. I told the admins over and over and they said there was nothing they could do. The player even lied on me with no proof ( I showed the admins proof of the hate) and the admins basically pressured me saying I was welcome to leave if it bothered me so much. I was really upset and hurt. The hate just continued and I finally had enough and left. Once I left the group the Sam player and I worked on a couple FanFics together. I hadn’t even thought about Joie after I left. But they hate continued. One of the admins ( I recently found out) joined a group pretending to be me with my name and was extremely rude playing Mercedes as a stereotype, thank goodness a few people who knew me told me about it and the admin left the group. Turns out she was just there to spy on their group so they could steal ideas. Then they started sending hate to the Sam player pretending it was me mad at a new ship. I tried explaining that I didn’t even follow Joie anymore but the damage was done and I lost a friend and writing partner. The group the admins they are all toxic and I am still paying the price for making the mistake of joining that group.

[daisanokensha]

i really admire your characterization so i was curious about your take/thoughts on mikoto's ptsd?

OOF SORRY this is late and idk if you still wanna read this anon but... you flatter me haha... i’ll gladly(?) offer my two scents but im warning you it’s been a while

sooooo obviously i agree that mikoto’s extremely depressed but generally speaking i’d say i’m not a fan of takes that claim he developed ptsd from the crater incident. i respect them but i think the crater’s more of an echo of the actual issue considering mikoto revisited the edge of it with his grandpa often enough to make a habit out of going for a swim which reisi thought was very bizarre and tasteless when he saw a dripping wet mikoto emerge out of the water (THIS IS A DISASTER SITE MIKOTO) BUT LIKE that's neither here nor there bc mikoto suoh is a) notoriously disrespectful and b) has no problem wrecking public property. destruction isn’t his issue per se

i personally think the problem lies within his impulse control and/or lack thereof as it becomes a big thing later on in the series. people tend to throw a bunch of buzzwords around but fact still remains that he’s always been a pretty laid-back guy who grew up in an environment that practically enabled him to pick up certain habits (used to work as a bodyguard, lives in a bar etc). i don’t rly expect much from sb who’s never been told no as a child or that he can’t overindulge bc there’s... no such person in his life to take on that role (his parents are dead, his grandpa too). he didn’t develop his bad habits due to his ptsd (re: smoking, drinking, sleeping), his ptsd just amplified them. sure, he can control himself to a certain extent, but the second he’s given an incentive, he’ll take advantage of it.

but like. mikoto’s a good kid (as confirmed by honami). he’s doing well in school and, as honami mentioned, she firmly believes he could become anything  career-wise if he just set his mind on it. he just doesn’t want to. everyone’s got all of these expectations they project onto him while mikoto’s just over here honest to god vibing. yes, he gets into fights, but don't poke the bear and expect it to lie still, y’know? i’d also get sick of constantly dodging people that, seemingly for no reason whatsoever, won’t get off my ass. no, mikoto’s the type to ignore an issue until it goes away, but if it doesn’t, if it persists and gets in the way of his lifestyle or negatively impacts people he cares about etc, he gets violent.

(speaking of friends and people he cares about: i don’t rly think he’s got trouble making friends. he just doesn’t give a shit. people (good And bad) flock to him so effortlessly, but it’s clear that they have to put in the effort to actually stick around bc mikoto certainly doesn’t bother. they come and go, and it’s like he said: if kusanagi suddenly decided that he hated mikoto and/or didn’t wanna hang w him anymore, he wouldn’t resent him for that decision. he gets it.)

and that basically brings us to the actual problem. he’s got money, friends (for the first time in his life!), he’s doing whatever he wants etc etc all this free time to waste and money to blow basically. how does taking all of that away impact his life? extremely negatively. the slate chooses him. he’s suddenly confronted with the fact that he’s got way more responsibility than he can handle when his life has always, always, always consisted of him just doing whatever. he’s got more power than he can handle that, if he’s not careful, can and will kill his friends. people outside of his close circle suddenly look up to him for no reason other than said power that, on top of everything else, is actively destroying his body. he’s taking care of a child at his age that constantly invades his privacy (to a point where she shares his messed up dreams with him) and we know that mikoto’s an extremely private person. it’s bad. he doesn’t like it. he prefers what he’s built with izumo and totsuka. it’s small and intimate, but they understand him. 

it never works out the way he wants.

but yeah. i just think there are so many different factors that ultimately led to his depression and ptsd that weren’t necessarily all “this guy likes to smoke and drink he must be depressed”. the most important thing has always been the absence of freedom (and consequently, his right to decide for himself), so to end this post with a couple of important things:

- mikoto knows he’s got poor impulse control and an easily addictive personality. it’s a Big struggle, but for all the wrong reasons: he doesn’t want to give up his life for the sake of others, but he has to. he feels like he does, too, at this point - people are suddenly telling him what to do? the cops are constantly on his ass? - he can’t go out anymore without attracting some kind of trouble. becoming the next red king directly put a target on his back and put him on the radar (remember, he likes his peace). they’re, by association, painted as the most violent clan. the bad eggs, and there are several, don’t really do anything to improve homra’s image. mikoto accepts it, albeit defiantly. he stays indoors as much as he can. overthinking everything makes him spiral, makes him angry and depressed, so he sleeps - people come to him to join his clan. it’s growing exponentially. the burden’s getting heavier. they’re good people, but a rowdy bunch. it weighs on his shoulders. he’s never been in this position. how can he keep them all safe? why does he have to? he just wants to live - he distances himself. not too much, but some days are unbearable. his bad mood affects them all. they know something’s up, but he can’t explain. doesn’t want to. so he stays away, because it’s easier - lapses of self-control, lack of sleep. the dreams he experiences aren’t his, but they’re vivid and terrible. he’s not there when it unfolds - he comes to once it’s all over, when the dust has barely settled, hands charred, sweating. it’s a reminder that if he gives in and lets it consume him, he will turn into that monster

also it’s not the first time i read this but the poor hygiene part always throws me off bc mikoto showers and styles his hair every morning. anna even tried to document a day in the life, so ??? where’s this coming from??? did i miss smth? who told you guys mikoto’s a nasty little gremlin