#it's called 'but i've walked this far' and i reblogged it some time ago

[foxstens]

read a fic so good it made me feel a bunch of neil feelings :'(

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Say it

Pairing: RE4R!Leon S. Kennedy X F!Reader

Summary: After coming back from Spain, Leon has been acting distant. You think seeing a face from the past has messed with his feelings, and he wants to prove you that is not the case.

Takes place after the events of re4 remake, mentions the events of RE2 remake as well

Warnings: explicit sexual content, minors dni, oral (fem receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (pls wrap it before you tap it), p in v, creampie, choking, praise kink, soft dom leon, he talks you through it, they're both just desperate for each other, the s in leon s kennedy stands for slut, language, established relationship

WC: 4.4k

A/N: I've been thinking about this mf ever since I played the remake. So I wrote this self indulgent piece of filth. This is my first time writing for him so pls be kind. Enjoy :)

You can also read this over at Ao3 (but pls still reblog and shit here thank u)

Leon Kennedy Masterlist

Creds of gift above to this tumblr

Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

You knew you had no right to be upset, not when you knew damn well what he went through. Or more so, you didn’t actually know what he went through, so you couldn’t possibly imagine what was going through his head right now. But still, you knew something else was in his head, and it wasn’t just the horrors he had to deal with to come back alive from Spain. There was something else in his mind. You knew it.

This silence, it was killing you. Leon wasn’t much of a talker to begin with, not after Raccoon City, but for the better part of a decade, you learned to be comfortable with his silence. Right now though, you just felt uncomfortable.  

“Want me to pour you one?”

Oh he speaks.

You lifted your head from the pile of papers on your lap at the sound of his voice, you saw him standing in front of the small cabinet where he kept all of his alcohol, glass and bottle of expensive whiskey in hand. You half smiled at him and shook your head. 

“Not right now, thank you.” You watched him shrug in response and take a long sip of his glass, before he walked over to join you on the couch. But he sat on the opposite end.

You frowned a bit when he sat so far, but you chose to not comment on it and instead brought your attention back to your paper. A good five minutes went by, and you had made zero improvements, you hadn't even picked up the pen again, so Leon spoke again.

“How’s the paper coming along?” He asked with a clear of his throat as he sat back, propping his feet up on the coffee table in front of him and his head was turned in your direction.

You sighed heavily, “It’s not. I can’t for the life of me come up with the right words.” You groaned softly as you threw your head back and rubbed your tired eyes.

You were in the same place you were a little less than a week ago, when Leon left to find Ashley Graham in the middle of nowhere Spain, not knowing if you’d ever see him again or not. You couldn’t even sleep, or eat, let alone focus on a paper. And although Leon was now home, alive, you were still preoccupied. 

“And that is exactly why I dropped out.” 

“This is a Phd program, not my second year of undergrad. Undergrad was nowhere near as bad as this.” You snorted softly and shot him a look. He gave you an annoyed look knowing you were teasing him. “Besides, what you do is way worse than some paper. Fighting weird cults and bioweapons or whatever they’re called.”

“Yeah..” He scoffed out a laugh, but it wasn’t humorous. His expression quickly turned serious as he looked down at his lap. You could see the way his grip tightened the slightest bit around his glass and his jaw ticked.

He had been home a few days by now, having stayed in D.C for a few days to finish all of the report and briefing, and you hadn’t talked about what had happened to him in Spain, just that Ashley was safe, and some weird cult was behind it all, but he couldn’t say much more, or maybe just didn’t want to. Regardless, any mention of it would make him tense up. 

He got quiet, and his eyes not once looked your way again. You bit the inside of your cheek and sat up, leaning over your knees to be able to reach him.

“Leon,” You said his name softly and a gentle hand touched his leg. You felt him tense up, but he didn’t make any attempts to move away from your touch. “Are you okay?”

You didn’t care if he didn’t want to open up, you didn’t expect him to, and you would never force him to, but you wanted him to know you would listen if he did.

A shaky exhale left his lips, but he nodded. “Yeah baby, I’m good.” He answered after a few seconds, forcing a smile and forced himself to look your way, but his eyes never met with yours.

God this was killing you. 

Before you could respond, he downed the rest of his whiskey before rising to his feet and he started walking without saying a word. Oh no. Absolutely not. If there was something that made your blood boil, it was him walking away in the middle of a conversation. The avoidance. That was something you couldn’t deal with. 

“Leon.” You called his name firmly as you stood up and looked at him with a frown. He turned around with an exasperated spin and a tight jaw, frustration already starting to show. “Do not give me that look, Leon Kennedy.”

He smacked his tongue softly, holding back the urge to roll his eyes, “I’m not. I’m just..” He didn’t finish his sentence, he just sighed out loudly.

You let out your own sigh as you walked to stand in front of him. You stared up at him, eyes big as you met his pale blue ones. They looked emptier and less bright every time he came back from a mission, but this look, this look that screamed he was having a mental hurricane, he only had it after Raccoon City. 

“Baby I know… I don’t, I don’t know what you saw, or did in Spain, and I know you’re having a hard time right now. I just..” You sighed shakily, bringing your hands up to hold his face between them. He tensed up again, his jaw clenching and unclenching as his head hung low, but he said nothing and didn’t move away either. “See, this is what I mean. You don’t even want me to touch you. I want to comfort you, I want to help, but you won’t let me. I thought.. I thought we were past that.”

Your hands were at your sides now, and you had taken a step back from him. That seemed to make him look at you, now with big eyes full of guilt, like he hadn’t even realized he was rejecting you. He had been in his own head, not being able to forget the events of Spain, and not being able to sort out his feelings like he knew he should have. God, had he been acting like this the whole time he was home? Rejecting your attempts at comfort? 

“Baby..” He stepped forward, closing the gap you had just created, but he didn’t touch you. He just looked at you, lips parted. He didn’t know how to tell you. “It’s not that.. And it’s not you. In Spain.. There was someone else on that island..”

You stared at him with confusion at first, unsure what exactly that had to do with this. His eyes searched for yours with this guilt ridden and conflicted look. The same look he gave you after Raccoon City. The same one he gave you before he told you he needed time. And then it dawned on you. 

Someone else. 

“You saw her again, didn’t you?” Realization quickly flashed over your face, and that quickly turned into a mixture of anger and hurt as your gaze hardened. Leon saw it. “That’s what it is. You saw Ada. You saw Ada and now you have your balls all twisted up. Again.”

Now it was you who was walking away from him. You weren’t even going to argue this time, and you didn’t want to wait for him to tell you he needed time again. You were halfway up the stairs when Leon started to call your name, but you ignored him and simply turned the corner into your shared bedroom. 

“Shit.” He cursed to himself, sprinting after you, missing two steps and nearly tripping up the stairs in the process. 

By the time he made it to your bedroom you already had a backpack thrown on the bed as you aggressively threw clothes into it. His eyes widened with slight panic when he realized what you were doing.

“Hey, woah. It’s the middle of the night, where the hell are you going?” He huffed, walking back and forth between the bed and your dresser as you continued to aggressively toss clothes on the bed.

“Claire’s. Move.” You muttered as you stopped on your heels when Leon stood right in front of you, arms folded over his chest like a wall between you and your dresser. “Leon, I swear to God.”

“Just listen. It wasn’t like that. Nothing happened, sweetheart I swear.” God he wanted to hold you so bad, he didn’t realize just how much until now. But he didn’t reach for you, he kept his arms over his chest, afraid you would backhand him if he tried. 

“Yeah, ‘cause you probably realized she was just using you again, so you had no other choice but to come back home to me, and not with her, right?” You scoffed, the hurt and betrayal clear in your voice. He opened his mouth, but you didn’t even let him speak, “And before you ask me for time to sort out your feelings, I'm just gonna go stay at Claire’s, and maybe don’t bother looking for me this time.” 

You grabbed the backpack from the bed with whatever you managed to shove in there and started to walk to the door. But Leon was faster than you, stronger too. And before you could step foot outside that bedroom, he had closed the door and backed you into it, both of his hands pressed flat on the door on either side of your head. Your eyes were wide when you looked at him, lips parted but he didn’t let you speak this time.

“Do not say another word, don’t you fucking dare. Just listen to me.” He stressed every word with an authority that instantly made you close your mouth. You blinked a couple of times but didn’t dare say a word. So he continued. “Get this through your head, Ada means absolutely nothing to me anymore. She asked me to go with her, after everything and I.. I said no. I said no ‘cause I want nothing to do with her. I said no ‘cause I wanted to come home to you.”

“Leon..”

He shook his head at you as one of his hands gripped your jaw tightly and he bowed his head to speak closely to you. “I know I’ve been an asshole to you these past few days, I didn't realize I was shutting you out, and I’m sorry. But know that I would never chose Ada over you, not now, not fucking ever. I love you and I’m gonna marry you someday, don’t ever question that.”

You could hear your own breath, his breath, and he kept a tight grip on your jaw as his nose brushed against yours. You closed your eyes and sigh left your lips as you leaned in to press your lips against his, but he pulled back enough to leave you chasing.

"Stay here. Please baby." His voice was low and almost desperate. Fuck, you wanted him take you right then and there. You couldn't even speak, you just nodded, eyes still closed and lips parted. "Say it." 

"Yes. Yes, I'll stay, just.." You breathed out the words, mirroring his desperate tone as you clenched your fists around his t-shirt, pulling his body flush against yours. "Please." 

His mouth came crashing down against yours so hard he pulled a gasp from your throat. But it quickly turned into a whimper when he angled your head back, allowing him to slip in his tongue. And you happily allowed him to do so as his other hand gripped the back of your thigh. 

"Up." He mumbled against your lips as he nearly effortlessly hoisted you up, you instinctively wrapped your legs around his torso.

He walked the short distance to the bed, fingers squeezing your thigh and lips never leaving yours. He only pulled away when he laid you down on the mattress. You were about to whine when he leaned back, but you only managed to suck in a sharp breath as you watched him pull his t-shirt over his head. Your eyes landed on the bruises and injuries he had come home with, a large knife cut across his bicep, now slightly pink as it began to heal, another smaller one above his collarbone, less angry looking, and more purple bruises than you could count, but they were starting to heal as well. Goddamn, even bruised he was the most gorgeous man you have ever seen. Clearly you must've been distracted by the absolute sight that was your boyfriend because you didn’t realize he started to undress you as well until he pulled your t-shirt -that was actually one of his old ones- over your head. He flashed you with a grin and a look that was outright filthy before he leaned down and wrapped his lips around one of your breasts while one of his hands played with the other. 

The whimper that fell from your lips was almost pathetic, and you couldn’t help but arch your back further into Leon’s mouth, his lips sending shocks of electricity down your spine.

“Please Leon.” You weren’t exactly sure what you were begging for, but you were begging.

He pulled back from your breast with a hum, and tilted his head at you, “Please what?” You gave him a pitiful look, and made a sound resembling a whine. He simply stared at you with feign innocence, “What, baby? What do you want? Tell me.” 

Oh Leon S. Kennedy. That S didn’t stand for Scott, it stood for stubborn, because he had to have his way, no matter what.

You made the same pathetic noise, instinctively trying to rub your thighs together to give yourself to relief, but of course, Leon’s body was right in the fucking way, “Please I want.. Ugh fuck sakes Leon. I want your mouth, I want your cock, I want all of you, please.”

Leon had this smug smirk on his lips and he hummed, satisfied with your pathetic pleads, “Alright baby, this is what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna make you come on my tongue, then you can come on my cock all you want. Would you like that?” 

God, the look you gave him right then made him want to split you wide open. That look of pure need that you could only give him, that you have only given him. And you nodded with so much eagerness it was almost adorable. 

“Do you remember how to speak sweetheart?” He asked with this mocking voice and a smirk that made you pull your lips into a small pout as you nodded, and then he smiled at you, head tilted, “Then use your words. Say ‘yes Leon’.”

This motherfucker.

You grumbled a whine of annoyance, for a moment feeling defiant, but Leon quickly gave you a warning look, a look that had you backing down pretty fucking quick, “Yes Leon.” You finally said, hoping that would get you what you wanted.

So he is stubborn, and an arrogant asshole. Checks out.

He gave you a satisfied smirk, and planted a hard kiss to your lips before he moved down the bed. He pressed his lips to your stomach as he pulled your pajama pants down your legs, your panties quickly following. You shivered softly when the cold air hit your core, but the cold was quickly replaced with his warm breath. His pale sapphire eyes found yours for a second as he threw your legs over his broad shoulders, pulling you closer to his face. He dragged his tongue from your entrance to your clit and drew his tongue over the sensitive bud. The sounds that were coming from your mouth were anything but subtle. Your hands instantly flew to clutch his long hair. And while you might have not intended to pull, when two of his fingers slipped into you to join the rhythm of his tongue, you just couldn’t help yourself. You pulled, and fucking hard. He growled, sending vibrations through your core that had you gasping and he dug his other hand into your thigh as he forced you still on the mattress. 

“Oooh fuck, fuck Leon,” Your broken moans filled his ears, just as he felt the burn on his scalp from your pulling. 

He knew exactly where his mouth needed to be and where his fingers needed to curl to make you come apart, he prided himself in that. And with the way you kept crying out his name and your body wouldn’t stay on the mattress, he knew you had to be pretty fucking close. 

“Stay fucking still.” He growled as he pulled back enough for his thumb to replace his tongue for just a second, just so he could watch the way your body writhed each time his fingers brushed against your most sensitive spot. “Yeah that’s it, you’re so close, aren’t you baby? Mhm yeah. C’mon pretty girl, c’mon.”

His tongue quickly replaced his thumb on your clit, his lips closing around the swollen bud as his fingers scissored you open, the lewd sound of his mouth lapping at your dripping cunt filling your ears in the most delicious way possible. And you couldn’t help it, you pushed his head further against you, and the growl that rumbled in his throat as he abused your clit sent vibrations that had you seeing white. Your release coated his face and hand as you fell into a fit of shaking sobs.

His fingers left you slowly, making sure you felt every second of it as his tongue still circled slowly around your swollen clit, not stopping until you were practically pulling him away by his hair, your body still twitching a bit. He chuckled softly, leaving a wet kiss to your thigh in silent praise before slowly climbing up your body. 

You opened your eyes to find him settled between your parted thighs, two fingers in his mouth and he moaned lowly as he tasted your juices off his fingers. Your mouth was wide open, and a whine left your lips. 

“Hm? Wanna taste baby?” He smirked as he pulled his fingers from his lips and leaned down, pulling you into a messy kiss by your jaw. You could taste yourself on his tongue, on his lips, and fuck, it had you clenching around nothing. He groaned softly, his clothed cock brushing against your wet cunt. He quickly pulled back, seemingly not wanting to wait any longer. “You taste so fucking good, but you feel even better.” 

He ridded himself of his sweatpants in a second or two, boxer briefs quickly joining on the floor. He hissed softly as he sat on his knees and brushed his cock over your entrance, covering himself in your slick.

“Please babe..” You whine softly, legs dangling over his hips as you endured his torture. He chuckled softly and nodded.

“Yeah, don’t worry sweetheart, I got you.” He dug his teeth into his bottom lip as he leaned over you, your legs high on his torso as he slowly filled you, your walls instantly clenching around his cock. 

Leon moaned softly, eyes squeezing shut as he slipped further inside you, fingers digging into your hips with enough force to bruise, “Oooh fuck yeah, atta girl.”

You could only moan weakly in response, sounds so pathetic and broken, and Leon loved every goddamn second of it. He sat still for a few seconds, soaking in the feeling of your tight walls around his cock, but the feeling of your nails digging into his shoulders encouraged him to move. He snapped his hips, over, and over, each delicious drag of his cock making you cry out. His pace was brutal almost immediately, and you were clinging on to him like that was all you were meant to do, to take everything he had to give you.

“Goddamn, you’re taking my cock so well baby. Mhmm, doing such a good job,” His words were coming out in between moans and whimpers, the feeling of you cunt clutching him so well making him just as desperate as he made you. “This is what you needed, hm pretty girl? Yeah, me too.”

He had your knees nearly pressed up to your chest by then as he fucked you into the matress, and you took it happily. You nodded eagerly, gripping his hair and pulling his face from your neck to meet your gaze. “You’re.. You’re mine, mkay? Just mine.”

Your words of ownership caught him by surprise, and he laughed between pants, biting down on his lip and he hovered over you enough to press his forehead against yours, the change in angle allowing him to hit your most sensitive spot, and he had you mouth wide open.

“Yours huh? I’m yours?” He asked with a wide smirk, your words clearly riling him up. You nodded quickly. “This dick is just yours, right baby? Is that what you want me to say? That no one else can have me? That no one else deserves it?”

He grunted out the words, lacking as much control as you did, but still in control enough to taunt you, to get you going, and fuck, he got you going like one else could. You were practically screaming ‘yes!’ at the top of your lungs. Your neighbors probably knew Leon was back by then. But neither of you could honestly be bothered to care about noise. 

“Yes! Yes, only I can have you.” Your words were broken, your voice was absolutely broken in between fits of sobs. Your hands were gripping at his blonde strands as your toes curled, the flash of heat you so desperately craved to feel a second time settling in your body as you continued to take in his punishing thrusts. But you still managed to say, “Please say it. That you’re mine. Fuck, please say it.”

Fuck, when you begged him like that, so close to falling apart for him, how could he ever deny you anything?”

The moan that fell from his lips at your words left you shaking, but you were not ready for what he decided to do next. He leaned down, as close as he could to your face, lips almost touching as he wrapped his large hand around your throat, and between pants he said, “I’m all yours baby.” 

You don’t think you’ve ever come so hard in your entire life, and Leon felt it. His mouth fell open and his eyes rolled into the back of his head as your walls clenched around him, hard. A shaky whimper left his mouth as his hips started to falter, his thrusts becoming more sharp and shallow the closer he was to his own release. You held him tightly, fingers gripping his hair and his name left your lips in soft sighs enticing him to fall apart as well.

“Mmm goddamn, I’m so close. Fuck, let me come inside you baby. Ugh,” His words were shaky, so close to falling apart. You nodded eagerly, clinging onto to him as he squeezed your throat, his moans getting louder and shakier before he fell still, cock twitching as he spilled himself inside you, “Ooooh fuck, mhmm that’s it baby. Take it like the good girl that you are.”

You closed your eyes in delight, a satisfied sigh leaving your lips as you ran your fingers through his slick hair soothingly, his hand now resting beside your head just as he rested his face on your neck. His quick and heavy breaths were hot on your neck, just as his body was hot on yours, but neither of you wanted to move, or leave the other. He needed you to hold him, and you needed him to let you. He never wanted you to doubt what he felt for you, ever again. 

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like this, holding each other, Leon still inside you. Probably once he no longer had the energy to keep his weight off you, so with a kiss to your jaw, he moved away, lying beside you instead. He ran a hand through his disheveled and sweaty strands, getting his hair away from his face. With a lazy smile, he glanced over at you, equally fucked out, hair just as sweaty and disheveled as his. He bit his lip softly and leaned over to press a soft kiss to your lips. You hummed softly, bringing your hand to hold his face.

“Mmm, I think I should make you jealous more often if you’re gonna fuck me like that.” He laughed softly, a smug smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. You pulled back enough to look at him and you glared at him, nudging his head away. He only laughed harder.

“That was no jealousy, you asshole.” You rolled your eyes at him, lips slightly pursed, but the way he smiled at you and tilted his head made you crack a small smile. “I’m serious. Leon I swear to God if I find out you contact her again I will stab you in your sleep with your own knife.”

Leon knew your threat of bodily harm wasn’t serious, but he knew the reason behind it was, he knew he hurt you after Raccoon City, and it took him a long time to earn back your trust, and he would never put you through that again. 

“I won’t, I want nothing to do with her. I never did. I love you, that’s never going to change, yeah?” He leaned forward, a small smile tugging at his lips, and you couldn’t help but smile too. You believed him.

“I know. I love you too.”

“Good. Now I’ll go run us a bath for round two.” He shot you a wink as he got up and laughed when he saw the look you gave him, “That was a joke. I meant to get cleaned up.”

You narrowed your eyes at him and simply shook your head as you watched him walk across your bedroom, but when he was about to walk out, you called his name.

“Yeah baby?” He said, peeking his head into your bedroom from the hallway.

“So, when are we getting married?”

[starberry-cupcake]

Hello, I haven't had time to read as much as I would want but I'm here with an update regardless, because if I don't keep these constant, I'm gonna forget things and this, so far, seems like a book in which I don't wanna forget things.

previously, in harrowbean the ninth:

this happened

currently, after "parodos" and ch. 1:

so I'm making up a timeline in my head with the information at hand

which is never straightforward

that'd be too easy, here in tlt we like to be kept on our toes

we like to be punched in the gut when we least expect it

so get ready for bad math

this would probably make our good friend palmolive atreides weep

I'm sorry palomilve's force ghost, I'm doing my best

SO

the first entry was the night of the emperor being terminated

the "parodos" bit (we'll get to that) is 14 months before the emperor is snuffed out

ch. 1 is nine months before the emperor kicks the bucket

I believe act 1 is going to be happening around that time, since ch. 2 seems to be following without another indication

because of what happens in "parodos" aka flashback, aka prologue 2: elecric bogaloo, we can attempt to estimate when the events of gideon happened

harrowbean tells ortus in the flashback that he's gonna train with aiglamene for 12 weeks

let's assume that's kind of the amount of time gideon trained, plus the time it took harrow to plot how to girlsplain, gatekeep and gaslight gideon into it

the only one girlbossing here is camilla, I don't make the rules

so, if gideon and harrow were ready to leave the ninth somewhere around 2-3 months after the flashback, it'd be circa 11 months before the events in the prologue

and ch. 1 starts 9 months before the events in the prologue

so gideon might have happened somewhere around 11-10 months before the prologue

I can't tell how long they were in canaan house (it felt like 12 years and 5 minutes at the same time) but I think about a month is mostly right, given that once bodies start dropping, things are all happening together

all of this is relative, since time in space is ????

but I need to do this for my own peace of mind

if you give me time measurements I'm gonna measure, ok?

I need to organize things

I know I will end up making a graphic at some point I just know it

this is what I get for calling palmolive a turbonerd

ANYWAY, MOVING ON

or, moving back, since we're in prologue 2: electric bogaloo aka flashback time

here we have ortus (the one we knew, not the one we will get to know, according to the characters list) telling harrow he doesn't wanna go to the field trip

this is ortus

if you're wondering why I don't nickname ortus, I'll repeat myself but "orto" means "ass" where I'm from, so that's enough to remember him by

harrow is like "I know you're underqualified but we're understaffed, so it is what it is"

the important part is that harrowbean says she sees the barbie in the freezer walking about

like a ghost or whatnot

she refers to her as "the body" and I assume that's barbie in the ice cube because someone reblogged my recap where I mentioned her and tagged

ever since then I've been wondering why she was referred to as The Body and now I'm gonna assume this is it

so harrow tells ortus he needs to hide the fact that she's mentally unstable

[non funny side note: masking is unbearable and it's awful we live in a social and cultural environment where we feel pressured to do it, especially when you're an adult having to fulfill expectations of supposedly "age-specific" activities and responsibilities, it's exhausting and I cried about that in therapy a mere week ago so, hitting hard, this bit

don't let people make you feel "less than" because the way in which you navigate the world and your experiences is different from what's expected in some theoretical socially constructed category

and fuck everyone who, in order to put people down in arguments online, ever make fun of those who aren't mentally, economically or socially as independent as what the category of an adult is supposed to be to them

argue with concepts, argue with opinions and facts, don't tear people down in the name of "moral upper hand" by telling people they're losers for needing help

side note done]

so, harrow entered the whole canaan thing not only carrying the weight of her house, her family and her entire people

she also came into it believing she's not mentally sound and seeing The Body walking around unnoticed by other people

whether or not her visions are mentally unsettled or something that actually happens because she opened the tomb, just the whole situation of her birth is enough to make anyone collapse, so we got you, harrowbean

we're here for you

and all that without mentioning what it'd be like seeing your girlfriend cavalier impale herself in front of you

I'm taking liberties with the 'girlfriend' bit but idk

so, next we know, 5 months have passed from that and harrowcita is struggling in her new environment of the clown emperor's ship

she is made to carry gideon's sword and she can't

she can't seem to know what to do or to communicate with said knowledge and she's throwing up a lot

WHICH IS GREAT!!!!!

I mean, it's not great that she's suffering

but it's GREAT because if she can't communicate with gideon's slurped soul, maybe it means gideon's soul has not been slurped AT ALL

more fuel for my wishful thinking of gideon's soul returning to her and getting regenerated and saved and being alive

I also like very much this situation in which harrow sees the sword as personified and they hate each other without gideon

it's like prim's cat in the hunger games with katniss

but with an inanimate object

I'm really liking that dynamic

is like they both miss her and can't relate to each other

ALSO barbie body ice cube is still there

just chillin' and being silently supportive, I think

not sure what her deal is but what if she's not the bad one here? because this emperor kind of sucks tbh

not in a 'he's evil' way but in a 'idk if he know what he's doing' way

I don't know about this guy tbh

so we're leaving off with harrow being mentally and physically struggling, ghost barbie roamin' the rooms, voices of people organizing stock and gideon in my head like this, walking in limbo to get back to us

also, another day without camilla

I thought I wasn't gonna have much to say and this is so long, I'm so sorry...

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 4: rainy day

Masterlist flufftober 🎀

Reblog if you liked it!

“This rain will never end,” Spencer whispered, watching the drops of water hit the ground and hugging himself against the breeze.

The storm had caught you on your way to the subway after work and had only given you enough time to take shelter in an awning too far from anywhere else you could enter. He had assured you that it was just a drizzle, but now he wasn't so sure and he was afraid that you would arrive home too late because of the weather.

“We could order a taxi,” you suggested, but he shook his head.

"I run out of battery"

“How wonderful,” you said ironically. The credit on your phone to make calls had run out and the nearest pay phone was probably about three blocks away, so the idea was out of the question.

It had been so long and you had already gotten tired of being in the same position, that you suddenly got rid of your briefcase, placing it aside and began to untie your shoes under your suit.

"What are you doing?"

“I'm going for a walk,” you responded simply. You took off your blazer, placed it on top of the other things and then started walking towards the street.

“Y/N! What are you doing?"

“It's freezing!” you said with a shaky voice, your entire body already soaked from the rainwater and your arms crossed in an attempt to keep warm, but with a smile on your face.

"Love, come back. "You're going to get sick" he half shouted, because it was difficult to hear anything over the noise of the drops. After a few minutes, when your body finally got used to the temperature, you opened your arms and looked at the sky laughing out loud, feeling all the rain falling directly on your face.

“Come here, it's fun” you tried to encourage your boy, who looked at you with a worried expression from his position.

He started listing reasons not to, starting from health hazards to the risk of physically hurting yourself from a fall, but you just walked until you were facing him and asked him again to come with you.

“Why do you want me to get wet?”

“What else can we do now, huh?”

“But my things, and shoes…”

“Just take them off,” you said simply. With your hand you took his and tried to pull him, but he stopped you with the promise that he would come once you let him get rid of the things that shouldn't get wet.

You waited patiently for him to place the clothes next to yours and when his feet were bare he hesitated before taking a step forward.

“It's freezing!” he yelled, just like you had done a few minutes ago. You were elated at the fact that he had dared to do something like that and then you took his hand to pull him a little further towards the street.

The rest of the world didn't even dare to drive by, which left the entire track free for you to take a couple of laps with the noise of your boyfriend complaining in the background. Then you started jumping over the puddles of water and Spencer stumbled over to you so he could catch you in case you slipped.

“You look like a baby giraffe” you mocked, because if the man's walk was already clumsy when you added a smooth, wet floor that only increased. You maneuvered to grab his arm and he did the same, smiling when his gaze met yours “When was the last time you got wet in the rain?”

“I've never done this before.”

“Not even when you were a kid?” you asked, completely surprised, because the rainy season had always been your favorite because you knew you could play in your yard under the drops of water.

“I was a very sickly child and that's why mom preferred me to stay safe and warm inside.”

“Poor kid,” you lamented exaggeratedly, as you carefully reached out with a hand to brush his hair away from his face, something for which he thanked you with a silent gesture. The clothes had already stuck to your bodies and you thought that in some strange way that made him look attractive... or maybe it was just you lusting after your boyfriend at all times.

You noticed that he had been watching you for a few seconds and when you thought about saying something he spoke first.

“How cliché would it be if I kissed you right now?”

"It would be nice. No one has ever kissed me in the rain” you smiled, already feeling the growing excitement in your stomach. Somehow he always managed to make you feel like every kiss was your first.

His large hands held your face and he leaned down just a little to press his lips against yours, while you held his wrists firmly. It was a soft kiss and to a certain extent uncomfortable because of the water that seeped between you, but for you it was quite romantic.

“Now every time I get stuck in the rain I will inevitably think of you.”

“Don't say that,” you whispered, stealing another warm kiss “It'll make me feel sad if we ever break up”

"What are you talking about? That's not going to happen,” he said with determination. "You're never going to kiss anyone again in your life, I'll make sure of that."

“And what about our children?” you asked playfully. The man's eyes lit up because, as you already knew, he fervently wanted to start a family and your initiative made him happy.

“Just our children and that's all”

You smiled and after that you separated from him to start jumping again, although now he accompanied you with more enthusiasm and carelessness. Both of you got two things that day: a horrible cold, and one of the most beautiful memories of your entire life.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove @vivian-555 @r-3dlips @rhiannonhippiegirl

[bbyquokka]

2:38 pm (lfx)

genre: timestamp, idol au, mua reader, smut — MDNI!

warnings: fem bodied reader, possessive behaviour, suggestive themes, mature language, jealousy, some nipple play, degrading names, brat reader, reader uses chan to make felix angry and jealous (chan plays along), semi proof-read.

words: 1.2k ~ (1,257)

a/n: wanted to post a little something whilst i work on some big things :)

♡ m.list — ♡ you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

“c'mon lixie!” you whine as you run up to him, the hot sand moulding yet squishing against the souls of your feet. felix looks up at you and swallows as his eyes flicker up and down your body. at this moment in time, he is thankful that he is wearing sunglasses.

he leans up on his elbows, the fabric of the beach towel rubbing against his forearms. the umbrella anchored in the sand to provide some shade. the waves of the ocean crashing, the screams of children and adults as they play in the sand and water. surfers out in the water, sunbathers sunbathing to get that perfect tan (or burn) 

the heat is unbearable and suffocating. if you look into the distance, you'd be able to see heat waves from how hot it is. you and felix finally have time off. the comeback is at an end and you no longer have to look at make-up and he no longer has to look at stage lights and worry about schedules.

to celebrate the end of another successful comeback, you both travelled to Australia to visit family and relax a little. what you didn't expect was chan to have the same idea. after a few days of you and felix landing, chan also arrived.

a pleasant surprise for all of you. you and felix have been together since you got appointed to be stray kids make-up artist several years ago. since then, you've been inseparable since. felix is smitten for you and will do anything and everything to protect you.

“i can't baby.” he mumbles. you pout, kneeling between his legs. his breath hitches in his throat as you place your hands on his thighs.

“please.” you whine. “the water looks so refreshing.” 

“maybe later, babe. me and chan are having a catch up.” you huff as you rise to your feet.

“chan?” you question, grinning as he looks at felix and smirks. he shrugs and rises to his feet, taking your hand in his.

“sorry man, the water does look refreshing.” chan says with a hint of cockiness dripping from his words. felix chews his lip as he watches you both skip off towards the ocean, chan's hands on your hips.

a twinge of jealousy hits felix, slowly consuming and bundling up into a dead weight in the pit of his stomach. he watches his significant other and best friend play in the water, splashing each other and swimming around. he watches as you jump on chan's back, arms securely around his neck, his hands cupping under your thighs to keep you steady.

felix clenches his jaw, jealousy and possessiveness seeping from his pores. he didn't expect you to turn around, arms around his neck and face inches apart from chan's, lips threatening to touch.

“think he is watching?” you mumble against chan's lips. chan looks to the side quickly and laughs.

“oh yeah, he is watching.”

“think he will be angry with me?”

“lix? nah. why? do you want to make him angry?”

“mhm. kind of. i've never seen him pissed before. well, i have but that's mainly when we're at the airport and it's crowded with fans but other than that, no.“

“so what you're saying is, you want to have angry sex with lix?”

“preciously! it's never happened before and i want to see how far i can push him. i want to see him snap.”

“you're a brat yn. i hope you know that.”

“mhm, i know but it's fun to play around.” you giggle. felix has seen enough.

he stands and walks towards you both before calling your name. you and chan pull away from each other, a soft pout on your lips.

“lets go.” 

“but lixxx! i was having fun!” you whine.

“lets go. now!”

“no.” you huff, crossing your arms across your chest. felix clicks his tongue in annoyance before walking towards you and chan, the salty ocean water feeling heavy against his shins as he pushes through. he suddenly grabs you and flings you over his shoulder, shooting a quick glare at chan who simply shrugs his shoulders and laughs.

“have fun you two!” 

“thank you, channie!” you say sweetly which only fuels felix's annoyance even more. he growls deeply, brows furrowed together as he walks to a more secluded place. 

he places you back down on the sand before inching closer and closer to you. you open your mouth to talk only to be silenced with a simple “shut up.” suddenly, you feel small and submissive, the aura around felix suffocating and too much for you to bear or describe. 

your back hits the cold, slimy and wet rocks, felix placing his hands on them by your head to trap you in.

“lixie..” you squeak.

“you think it's funny to play games with me, huh?” his voice is suddenly deep and menacing which causes slight tingles to gather and spread throughout your body.

“i just wanted to go swimming! you never want to go swimming with me! you never do anything with me!” you whine. felix clicks his tongue once again, eyes rolling.

“so you thought it was a good idea to get close to my friend and make me jealous?”

“yup!” you pop the p on your usual brat manner before giggling.

“oh, it made me jealous alright and mad.”

“mad..?” 

“mhm.” the tip of felix's finger runs along your jawline and up your ear, tucking a loose strand behind it before grabbing a fistful. you groan at the sudden pain as felix laughs mockingly in your face.

“oh shut up. this is what you wanted, correct? to see me like this. tell me yn, why do you like being such a little brat?”

“i..” you whimper, swallowing and moaning a little when the grip tightens. felix roughly pulls your bikini top up above your chest, exposing your breasts before pinching your nipples roughly.

you let out moans of pain and pleasure, eyes welling with tears. felix hums in satisfaction.

“well? i don't have all day yn.” 

“because it's fun.” you squeak.

“fun? what's so fun about it?” you stay silent, felix tutting and clicking his tongue due to his fast growing impatience. he removes his hand from your breast, slowly trailing it down your stomach and letting it disappear between the waistband of your swimming shorts.

you hold your breath, your head now to the side due to the immense grip felix has on your hair. his fingertips lightly rub between your folds, a sigh leaving his lips.

“wet already? i've barely even touched you, yn.”

“lix…”

“answer yn! i'm waiting for an answer!”

“because i like the way you punish me. i like how rough you are with me and i wanted to see how angry you would get. i wanted to see how far i could push you, lix.”

“so you like it when i call you degrading names like whore and slut?”

“yes.”

“you like it when i deny you of your orgasms, forcing you to hold and wait?”

“yes.”

“when i mark you and cover your beautiful skin in bruises and love bites. when i cum so much inside you that it spills. when i tease and fuck your overly sensible pussy and make you cry, sob and beg.”

“yes yes! fuck felix, yes!! please, i beg of you, just fucking use me. use me for your own selfish reasons, i want it!”” 

felix leans in close, lips daring to touch yours before smirking.

“be careful what you wish for, yn.”

tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @oshimee ; @alyszaen ; @septicrebel ; @unh0ly-dr3am3r ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer ; @telesvng

[little-diable]

Alter Ego - Tommy Shelby (smut)

Inspired by @runnning-outof-time - thank you for this idea, I hope this is what you had in mind! Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: Inspired by Kaleo's song "Alter Ego", the reader tried to sidetrack Tommy to get her hands on information, she's clearly playing a losing game

Warnings: 18+, oral (f receives), degrading, dom!Tommy

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader (1.4k words)

I've got leverage, but babe, when you touch me there, I feel I'm 'bout to break

“It’s impressive, you almost had me fooled.” Tommy’s voice broke through the quiet night, eyes set on her frame, pouring the last drops of alcohol down his throat. Moments ago the roles had been reversed, with (y/n) seated on his lap, with her fingers slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt, speaking with her sultry voice. He had given into her game, just for a moment, allowing her to take the lead, till she had started talking business, too nosy for her own good. 

“I’m working for you, Tommy. Don’t you think I should be involved in those things?” Her voice was no longer sultry, no longer dripping with a sweetness reminding one of the sweet goods they’d only be able to buy in countries far from home, no, she was annoyed, angry even. “It’s because I’m a woman, eh? Fucking knew it, you’re just as awful as the others.”

“Sit back down!” The command clawed through Tommy like a bullet leaving his revolver, stopping her from leaving the empty Garrison. A cigarette hung between his lips, blowing smoke out into the night as if the devil himself had been consulted. But Tommy Shelby wasn’t the devil, no, he was the one you’d call to kill the devil. A ruthless man that didn’t know any mercy, at least not when it came to people that weren’t her. 

“What is this? Some kind of punishment? You’re a sick man.” She spat her words, clearly frustrated by the way he had pushed her away, all too gently and yet with a silent warning to back down before he’d tear her to shreds. Her veins kept pumping hot blood, rushing through her system as if she was being chased by her want, her need for the man. A man she had slept with numerous times before and yet still wasn’t able to call him hers.

“You tell me, you started this, didn’t you? You know I can’t tell you a thing, I can’t risk you getting hurt because you think you can miraculously save this by yourself.” A humouerless laugh bled from her lips, eyes fluttering shut to keep herself grounded. Tommy was teasing her, playing a game with the woman that clearly dripped with want, urged on by her alter ego, the devil on her shoulder begging her to try and pull him in once again. 

You feel it rush to your head, this is the time to attack, there's nothin' holdin' you back

“I’ll see myself out, this is a waste of my time.” She rose from the chair, and walked past him – at least that’s what (y/n) tried to do, haltered in her step by the cold hand clasping down on her wrist, pulling her into his lap once again. Their eyes met, allowing her to study the handsome man she tried to curse but clearly failed to. 

“Your life's on the line the second you get involved. This is a price I’m not willing to pay.” She pressed a kiss to his lips, tasting the alcohol Tommy had drowned his sorrows in and the cigarettes Tommy had smoked as if these were the only things keeping him alive. His hand cupped her cheek, pushing her back against the table, keeping her trapped while his lips moved down her throat, leaving marks. “You’re mine, and I don’t share what’s mine, not with other men nor women, not with other criminals roaming my streets, do you understand?” 

A scoff left her, eyes threatening to roll back into the back of her head as another wave of annoyance flushed through her. She was anything but a price for him to own, to show off, and yet her brain couldn’t help but focus on the way Tommy had called her his. (Y/n) was in deep, she was playing a losing game, a game she had once known by heart, but no longer could endure. 

“You’ll stop being nosy, and you’ll let me handle this.” His free hand found her thigh, moving up her leg to reach the spot where she needed him the most, fingers ghosting over the fabric of her damp panties. “I need to hear you saying it.”

“Fuck you.” (Y/n) spat, eyes pressed shut as a groan rumbled through her, forcing herself to sort through her thoughts, weighing her options. The need for the man with piercing eyes wouldn’t subside, it would eat her from inside out, feasting from her rotting corpse like time watching every step of her eventually ending life. Tommy Shelby was a thunderstorm breaking the night, letting rain pour from the dark sky – rain the soil needed to survive, a primal instinct even (y/n) couldn’t fight against, no more. “Alright, I will keep my hands out of it. Fuck, just touch me, please.” 

“Look at that, she can ask nicely for once.” Before another snarky reply could rumble through her, Tommy picked her up, placing her down on the table. Their eyes met as his cold fingers pushed her panties aside, mouth latching onto her sensitive bundle of nerves. Her moans filled the empty place, carrying more meaning than any pacts that have been made in this godforsaken pub. 

Tommy’s gaze visibly darkened as a string of curses rolled off her tongue, clearly enjoying the quick brushes of his tongue, the movements of his thumb, how he fucked her with skilled fingers. The devil had her trapped as if she had been sacrificed to him, presented on a silver platter, hoping to satisfy the being’s wants. She was everything Tommy Shelby needed, and yet something kept holding him back from passing that last threshold leading to a life lived with (y/n) by his side, a dark premonition he had no choice but cling to. 

So lately, I'm not the same, I might just be the one, baby, don't hurt yourself, said I might just be, I might just be the one

“You’d do everything I ask you to, wouldn’t you? You’d sell your soul for me like the pathetic, desperate woman you are.” She barely paid attention to the degrading words Tommy spoke, too far gone with heat rising in her lower stomach. It wouldn’t take much longer for her to give into the feelings thumping through her veins, the orgasm she had been hungry for ever since stepping foot into the Garrison hours ago. “Tell me, tell me how much you need me.” 

“Would do anything for you, fuck, you know that, Tommy.” Once again he sucked on her clit, pushing her further into the fog of pleasure she was trapped in. Her moans grew higher, louder, any moment now she’d start to tremble, struggling to keep breathing through the all too familiar sensation. 

She felt him smirk against her core, clearly pleased by the desperate words she spoke. Tommy picked up the speed of his fingers, expectedly curling them against her swollen spot, making her see stars. Her vision began to blur, body pushed into the soaring waves of her orgasm as his name rolled off her tongue. Tommy kept fucking her through the high, not daring to let go as she clung to the intense feeling. 

“There’s no life you can lead without me by your side, Tommy Shelby. You need me,” a heavy breath left (y/n), voice trembling and yet she didn’t stop murmuring her words. “And I need you, every part of me, every alter ego I’ve created in my head needs you to survive. And eventually you’ll start to realise that I’m the only trustworthy companion in this ruthless scheme of yours.” 

All Tommy could do was watch her part from him, struggling to balance herself with quivering thighs, making her way out of the Garrison with a sombre feeling simmering deep inside of her. 

You got the wind in your back, now go ahead, lately, I'm not the same, I might just be the one

[whysodelirious08]

Guitar picks and promises (A Mini-Series by Deli) (18+)

----

Parts: 1/?

Pairings: Steve x FemReader x Eddie

Warnings: 18+, love triangle, angst, slight violence, heartbreak, abandonment, conflict.

A/N: Hi! Welcome to the first part of this mini-series. I hope you enjoy it and feel free to post any suggestions on what could happen next/at some point. And who do you want to earn the love of? Eddie or Steve?

Please comment with any feedback and ideas! Reblog if you would be so kind!

----

You hadn't seen Eddie for months, not since he scored that once-in-a-lifetime trip to go see one of his favourite bands. Not that you knew who that was. He had told you. Only on the day he was leaving and you couldn't remember for the life of you what it had been. And that had been nearly ten months ago. The trip should have been only a few days but somehow you had gotten word that he managed to tag along with the support band and get a taste of life on the road.

All those feelings pulled thousands of miles and they were going to snap at any moment. You'd barely heard from him. A few postcards. A few voicemails. Nothing else. And they were few and far between. You two had been attached by the hip from the moment the two of you had met but now you felt like he didn't even care about you. Like you were now a distant memory. Hell, you had been close to admitting your feelings for him just before he left. And you knew by word of mouth that he also felt the same. So why was he now suddenly so unconcerned about you? Why did it feel like he didn't give two shits about you or your life. It hurt. More than that.

During the late hours when you couldn't sleep and your mind would wander, you thought how he might have found someone else. Some rock chick to fill his fantasies. Some girl who was prettier than you. Funnier. More suited to his style. Perhaps the version of the friendship you had formed with him had all been some sort of delusion. Perhaps none of it was real, a figment of your imagination. Perhaps his version was totally different. That you weren't as close as you had thought. These were the thoughts. The maggots. That buried under your skin. In your brain. Tormented you. And you just couldn't let it go, you just couldn't stop and it was eating you from the inside.

Even now as you sat at the desk waiting for someone to check out a movie or buy some snacks. The day was slow and you were nearing the end of your shift but knowing your luck, everyone and their cousin would turn up the moment you stood up to close for the night. Always your luck. Perhaps one day you'd clock out on time. That was wishful thinking though. Just as you got up to start packing up, a familiar face sheepishly revealed itself.

"Slow night?" A soft voice called, hands in his pockets as a small smile appeared, tugging at the corners of his mouth. He leaned against the counter from where you had just been, strands of brown hair falling into his face momentarily before he swiftly pushed them back.

"Steve. I've just closed for the night. Well, I'm trying to. So go and lock the door before anyone decides to rent the entire store. I'm sick of finishing an hour later than I'm meant to" You sighed as you half-assedly point to where the keys were.

"Yes miss president. Of course, miss president." You heard him say sarcastically as you looked up and watched as he put his hands up in defeat and swung his body around the counter and grabbed the keys, giving no extra effort than average as he walked over to the door and flipped the "open/closed" sign just as someone was about to walk in. The act earned a dramatic flinging of the arms as a loud "What the hell, man?!" Was muffled by the glass. The scene made you smile at least, you enjoyed Steve's company at least.

You focused your attention back on putting the returned movies back on the shelf, hearing Steve lock the door and shuffling over, the sound of the keys landing on the counter along the way.

"So..." You heard Steve start but trail off.

"So?" You copied as you stood up and wiped your knees off the dust embedded in the thick, wiry carpet. You were glancing at him but focusing on picking up the now-empty box and stood waiting briefly for an answer before you moved around Steve's still body. You half listened as he stumbled over his words trying to find the right wording. Clearly he was having a hard time trying to ask you something.

"Yes say it. Jesus, listening to you try and find the right words is more painful than what you're probably trying to ask." You sigh and turn on your heel to face him after placing the box down on the counter, arms now crossed over your chest. Quite frankly you were grumpy from being on your feet all day and tired of being around people. You just wanted to go home and have a nice bath, catch up on Golden Girls and call it a night.

You heard Steve sigh and he became quiet for a moment, you watched as he ran a hand over his hair and strolled over a little closer.

"Have you heard anything from Eddie?"

"No. You know I haven't. Why are you asking me this now?"

"It's just. There's been some information going around-"

"Information? What do you mean? Who from?"

You watched as Steve's expression twisted into a frown.

"I don't know who it came from first. Maybe Gareth? Anyway, apparently he's with some girl now and he's maybe. I'm not sure. Maybe coming back to Hawkins. But you can't trust word of mouth you know so dont-"

"You expect me to be okay with information. Steve? I haven't heard anything from Eddie for at least three months. Does he really even have anything to come back to?!"

"Hey...hey. calm down. Let's just-" you listened wanting to rant but you bit your tongue, wanting to see if that was all Steve was going to say.

"How about I walk you home? I know you have your little routine so...how about I make you some food while you have your bath?"

You took a deep breath and tried to calm down. You couldn't help but get so riled up at any mention of Eddie now. You only felt anger and pain when you heard his name or anything about what was going on with him. You wished that you could just erase home from.your mind like he never existed on your life. That would be easier than this.

"Okay. Let me just go sort some stuff in the back" you agreed after a moment.

...

Steve held the door open for you once you had unlocked it, you shot him a small smile and plodded into the dingy wooden cabin you called home, throwing your things down on the nearest seat before doing the same to your tired body, landing on your green corduroy couch. The scene had clearly amused Steve as you heard him chuckle from his place in the kitchen which was open plan to your living room. You knew that your flimsy home was rundown and stark in comparison to Steve's own home but he hadn't ever said anything, had given a more than surprised look when he first saw it but had kept any thoughts about the place to himself though you could read from his face back then that he thought it was a shitty little shack in the wooded area of Hawkins.

You heard Steve pipe up from the kitchen as you flicked through the TV trying to find the late night running of your favourite show.

"Not got much in. When did you last get groceries? Half of this is off" he grumbled, concerned

"I don't know..." You tried to dismiss it, acting like you hadn't been unconsciously starving yourself.

"You'll get unwell, you know. I'll grab you some food while you're at work tomorrow. OK? I'll order us some food for tonight. You have to look after yourself, there'll be nothing left if you at this rate" you listened at Steve rambled and you rolled your eyes even though you knew it was all true. You hated facing facts. You'd rather ignore them and deal with the consequences later.

"Yeah yeah. Okay. How about pizza?" You smiled and watched as Steve nodded and headed to the phone. You shifted your attention to the TV as Steve ordered, paying attention to the commercials that didn't stand out. It wasn't until you felt a tap on your legs that you shifted your gaze to Steve and moved your legs so he could sit down. The couch wasn't massive but it was enough for three people, you felt Steve tug your legs back down and placed on his lap. You felt a little fluttery as his hands remained on your legs, gently tapping along to the jingle of one of the commercials. You deny that the last few months were spent with Steve and along the way you two had been getting closer. You knew he was all about Nancy yet it seemed like for a short while he had shifted to you. Any time he touched you, you felt all warm and yet nervous inside. The same thing you felt with Eddie...but you didn't want to think about him. You loved Eddie. You never confessed it to him but it had probably been obvious to others. But he wasn't here now. And though you felt guilty every time you got butterflies from Steve's touch and smiles, you felt you deserved to be wanted, even in just friendship.

You were just sinking into the seat when you heard the phone go off. You groaned and went to get up but Steve signalled that he'd get it. Thinking the pizza place was calling back or something.

"Hello?" You heard Steve ask before falling silent, you didn't look until you noticed Steve had been silent for a moment too long. Long enough to pique your interest. You noticed the tense demeanour Steve suddenly held which gained a frown from you as you shifted to get a better look at Steve.

"No. She's not home. It doesn't matter what I'm doing here. It's not like you have any business saying where I shouldn't and should be." You listened as Steve became aggravated and you were trying to figure out with your tired brain who Steve was talking to until you heard a slight shout from the phone of a voice you recognised.

"Is that Eddie?!"

"No."

"Don't lie to me Steve. Give me the phone" you asked as you pulled yourself from the couch.

"No. You don't need to speak to that asshole" You listened to those words that left Steve's mouth and something stupid inside you snapped.

"Don't talk about him like that! Give me the phone" you demanded as you reached for the phone, you could hear Eddie on the other end shouting something unintelligible. All before you watched as Steve hung up. You stood in tense silence. In shock. Not being able to believe that Steve just hung up on the first call in months from Eddie. You felt the anger rise from the pit in your stomach. A fiery resentment suddenly formed. You didn't realise what you had done until the sound echoes off your walls and Steve was no longer at eye level. You had slapped him clean across the face. The sound of contact had been so crisp. And Steve's body had swung down after the contact until he was in. A crouch, trying to compose himself. You both stood in pained silence.

[jolalibrary]

Hey there, I truly admire your openness about your anxiety, and I was wondering if you could offer any tips or techniques that have helped you, especially in the context of being active on this platform. Love your work!

tw: anxiety

hi anon! thank you so much, that's really nice of you. i deffo think i could be more open about it, but it's nice that I've been able to be open enough for you to reach out. i'm sorry it took me a day or two to get back to you, i just wanted to make sure i thought up/over things so i was being as helpful as possible! it's important for me to stress that my situation and my anxiety isn't going to be like everyone else's, and how i cope with it isn't like the "go to". but here are some things that help me (i am not claiming that any of these i came up):

creating a rainy day folder: bad days are a thing for everyone, but i know what things put me in a "stormier" frame of mind, and what i'm critical about. so, when things make me smile (comments, nice reblogs, tags, inbox, dms) i screenshot them and pop them in this folder. and when i need an extra boost (or some proof to fire back at my brain that it's wrong) i spend a bit of time in there. as it's me, it's highly organised HA! but, it deffo helps having the folder, and its reminded me, at times, why i love what i do here.

celebrate with cake: i'm a high-functioning person, who has super low self-esteem. for a good portion of my life (an embarrassingly large portion, honestly) good accomplishments were not celebrated. so, now i make a point to celebrate certain things with food (or books, if I'm reading a lot). one thing I've learnt with my anxiety is that it's easy to get into a cycle, and one way of breaking this is to stop and take the time to realise the milestones I've accomplished or how far I've come. just the other day, i took a walk to the shop and grabbed myself a chocolate bar. a year ago, i wouldn't have felt comfortable doing that by myself. and it's important to recognise those achievements when you've had a hard time. i also recommend everyone gets themselves cake when they finish a series (it's the rules, i swear).

learn about yourself: i'm going to be brutally honest and hope this doesn't bite me on the arse, but there are a lot of times i don't really like myself? i don't see the value i offer, i feel like i let people down, etc etc. it used to be worse, and one of the ways that helped me go from every day i didn't like myself to occasionally disliked myself, is by educating myself on me. I've spent a lot of time making myself small to fit in, I've done things others are into so i fit in to the point i wasn't sure who i was. so, when i had a menty-b (the name i call it), i sat with myself and learnt what i liked. music. movies. clothing. passions. hobbies. i have always written, but i wasn't necessarily writing things i loved. so, i changed it. i dated myself (a term lots of people use). i told my husband i was going to spend Friday nights with myself, and i did something i wanted to do. on my own. and in time, that helped with my anxious feelings and my fears about being online. because i spend a lot of time worrying about what people think, but by dating myself i could learn nice things about me - and that way, had things i could tell myself i knew were true: that i'm actually very nice, kind and really funny. it might not making pressing 'post" easier, but i can hold my chin a little higher?

set yourself a goal of happiness: we're all motivated by different things. sometimes, we make a mental goal to ourselves and it becomes blurred and distorted in numbers. but, if your anxiety (like mine) likes to have a thing to measure itself against, choose something that isn't numbers based, but happiness based. did someone tell you this month that your writing/art/gifs made their day? did something you say make them feel better? it's hard, it really is, and i know there will be people reading this and scoffing, but truthfully, one person telling me something i wrote made their day is all a jo really fucking wants. because i'm going to write regardless, it's a choice i make to share it. so, while i gave examples above, that isn't my current goal, but it was a goal i had, and as long as i try to remind myself of that it helps.

which leads me into, try to stay away from the numbers game which i know is hard. but it does nothing for an anxious mind. like, it's a fickle thing. moods change. don't base your worth on a number, you matter far more than it.

accept it's a part of you: this one is more about me, but since you're asking me i thought this is probably allowed. i have a long-term anxiety disorder - which took a long time to get diagnosed - and i have some other little... things that come with that. and for a long time, i felt broken. but, i was reading a self-help book (because your girl loves reading books about brains) and i realised that i have anxiety. it is already part of me. so i need to work with it. anxiety isn\t nice, it's not kind and it's really annoying. but it also makes me empathetic, it makes me care about the work i do (both here and in my day to day life), or makes me compassionate. whether you have it short term or long term, sometimes it's better to accept it's there, acknowledge it, but DON'T FEED IT. have the worries, and then halt them, tell them no. I've found fighting it before I've got the strength doesn't help me. but, waking up, knowing it's there, nodding at it helps keep it in check. this might not make any sense, but, you know.

and finally, the one i'm still working on is: i cannot fix everything and this is fun, so i need to ensure it stays that way for me. which i know isn't really a tip. but it's a good thing to remember. i am one person, it is not on me to check on every single person. it isn't on me to read every single thing. i don't have to engage with things i don't agree with, i don't have to say all my opinions. i can change fandoms. i can not post for a day/week/month. and all i have to do, if i want to, is offer my absolute best. that's it. it's hard. and it's tough to swallow. but sometimes, a jo just needs to be jo.

i am not sure if my rambling has been helpful, but i thought i could list these: plot your fic, find a buddy to talk about things with, surround yourself with good people. but I've said all of these. but the above are things i can do by myself. they are things i can control. and with anxiety, we're all just looking for the things we can manage, and so i based the list in that way. thank you for coming to my jo-talk, i'm going to go hide from being so vulnerable.

[buggledy]

Please continue liking/reblogging my silly posts I'm gonna vent about the two things going horribly wrong in my life rn because I can't talk about either of them publicly without making people very mad or uncomfortable.

ONE

I've been working on this collaborative project with some online... "friends" to some extent for about 2 months now. The deadline for my portion was mid-August. I am going on vacation this Saturday, I'm going to see Sarah Squirm 3 hours away on the 21st, and my irl friends who were involved in my portion return to school on the 19th. Naturally, I filmed it in early July and turned my cut in on the 19th A FULL MONTH BEFORE THE DEADLINE, AND BEFORE MY FRIENDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL. After several days, my "producers" (who aren't fucking paying me, this is a passion project. I don't think they should be using that title.) Finally said "Hey, we like your cut, but we have some small advice," and promised to get me on a call that week. It's been 10 days. I have *almost* no time to do reshoots, and I'll probably have to re-edit WHILE I'M AT THE BEACH, FOR A PROJECT I'M NOT BEING PAID FOR. And my cut is fine. I don't mind changing things, and it's not great (but at least on par with most of what they've done before...) but it's not so heinously bad that it *has* to be "fixed." I have told them my timeline, several times. There are likely to be continuity issues because it's 19 DAYS SINCE I FILMED ANYTHING AND MY HAIR GROWS FAST. Based on the little they've said, the pacing is gonna be FUCKED after I "fix" it. I'm so upset because I have historically liked these guys before, and I never wanna talk to them again at this point. Not to mention, I *HATE* dragging my real friends into this. They don't deserve it. They also aren't being paid. Very disenchanted by this whole thing. Like it's been so long that I consider the project finished. They are asking me to drag out a corpse and give it a makeover. AND I HAVE OTHER SHIT I WANNA GET STARTED ON BUT I'M STUCK IN THIS GODDAMN PURGATORY. Supposedly, they're gonna call this evening but idk how that's gonna go.

TWO

I had this friend. About 3 years ago, she reached the conclusion that I was obsessed with her and ended our friendship. Maybe she was right. I had a crush, sure, but what's obsessed? Maybe I'm just too autistic to know where the line is drawn as far as "feelings" go, beats the fuck outta me. It was early July, so naturally this is really the only time of year I think about her anymore. Besides passing references, simply because I refuse to gadlight myself into forgetting the good memories she just so happens to be in. This makes everyone around me uncomfortable, and they refuse to humor conversations the moment her name comes up. Hence why I have to talk about this here. I'm over her, but I miss talking to her every once in a while. She's cool. I have no idea what she thinks of me these days, thus, a problem arises. My friend & his boyfriend (the irl friends from the previous story) are moving back to the city she lives in within the year, and I'll return to my tradition of visiting them about once a month. Here's the thing: I feel antagonized in that city. Like I'm under constant surveillance by some secret society waiting for a perfect moment to hurt me (emotionally that is, this isn't like... extreme paranoia talking.) And thus, this is no longer an early July funk. She's on my mind a lot. I wish I could just walk up to her (or even message her, I'm still blocked) and be like "I'm coming to this city again. Once a month. We've gotta either hash this shit out, or agree to fully ignore each other in the event we encounter each other in public." But honestly, I just wish I could forget it. I wanna stop thinking about her, and being sad, and occasionally seeing her in dreams. I'd love to never have to think about her again, but my personality simply doesn't allow.

THREE

So also my grandpa died last year and his birthday is in July, so that's not been helping. Sometimes I'm a little overwhelmed by my friends because now that they know I'm never busy, they sometimes spontaneously ask me to hang out all day and that can be a lot. I'm also in the process of moving which is stressful enough, but I hate my current living situation so I wish I could just do it but honestly I don't expect to be in the new place by the end of the year.

Anyway, I like to drink liquor and all this shit is starting to make that a minor problem 👍

[arachnidiots-a]

— liam's character info sheet.

(repost, don’t reblog)

name: willamina “liam” kaz

name meaning: a variant of the name wilhelmina, “determined protector"

alias/es:  liam, li, synesilk, red, spider-man

ethnicity: white

one picture you like best: i've been thinking nonstop about these that i posted a little bit ago

three hcs you never told anyone:

idk if this counts as one but i constantly am at a crossroads with what i want to do with liam’s love life. shipping liam is genuinely such a low thing on the list of stuff i focus on because i constantly just struggle with figuring out that side of their life. they’re so devoted to everyone in their life and just clinging on for a meaningful relationship, platonic or romantic or something else entirely. that being said… they’re an awkward and rather nervous partner when it comes to romantic relationships. one would be so lucky to be in love and loved by liam 

liam has such a complicated relationship with their first name because they wouldn’t go as far as to say it’s not theirs or anything or even change it legally, they simply just don’t entirely identify with it or use it. they do have to use it in certain situations such as with medical stuff or legal things and they will but in every other aspect of life they’d like to be known as liam (or any other nickname)

liam started using the nickname liam around the time they entered their early teens. before then it was some other variations of willamina. nothing ever really stuck more than a year or three at a time. 

three things your character likes doing in their free time: 

walking/swinging aimlessly

hanging out in the lab/the web

play board games

eight people your character likes / loves:

roxy fields. liam’s platonic soulmate and other hero half. there’s no world where roxy and liam aren’t vital to each other

martin levy. liam’s cousin and one part of their safety net. they’re close confidants, and very much like siblings

emmett jeffries. liam’s half-brother. they reconnect after a couple of years after being out of each other’s lives but there’s truly nothing liam wouldn’t do for this kid

peter parker. roxy’s high school friend, martin’s roommate, and one part of liam’s safety net. he’s the guy in the chair for both spiders

professor mei turling. liam and roxy’s mentor. her disappearance is what leads them on their adventure as heroes. she’s one of liam’s inspirations 

piper lowery. liam’s first love. this relationship is doomed in every version of it, and liam will always wonder what could’ve been

carla & haiden kaz. despite everything, liam can’t ever say they hate their parents. there’s a complicated amount of love and like for them even if liam hopes they don’t call and don’t visit

two things your character regrets:

not keeping in contact with emmett

a lot of small regrets over things they say occasionally. liam is the kind of person to beat themself up over being vulnerable at times or doing something they think might’ve been a touch weird 

two phobias your character has:

losing roxy/anyone they care about

confined spaces for an extended period of time

tagged by : @inhcritance tagging : @walkeddeath @tracksdown @buglesbetty @parameddie @deadranch @ncmad @wnterslder

[naked-bee]

15 questions

or, how to answer questions about myself without revealing much about myself, yet speaking as honestly and earnestly as I can.

@hreog-like-frog tagged me, and managed to hit me at the exact right time where I needed to take a break from the thing I've been working on all day. Here goes!

More answers below the cut:

Are you named after anyone?

My first name was my Dad's mother's first name and my middle name was my Mom's mother's middle name. I like it, and am grateful I didn't end up with the opposite combination of their names.

When is the last time you cried?

Pretty sure it was the trans godzilla stop-motion film I reblogged a week or so ago. I think I'd seen it first at a film festival but it always gets me. (I'll reblog it again right after this - it's awesome)

Do you have kids?

Nope.

Do you use sarcasm?

I'm trying to cut back.

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Clothes - I don't particularly follow fashion as such, but I've been obsessed with clothes and costumes and clothing history ever since I was a kid.

What is your eye colour?

Hazel.

Scary Movies or Happy Endings?

Happy endings all the way! I'm never mad at a happy or hopeful ending. Weird and dark and gory and violent content are all things I actively seek out but I am a wimp when it comes to actually feeling scared. Horror movies are hit or miss for me, but I keep trying.

Any special talents?

I believe I can make anything. I'm not always right, but blind confidence and a willingness to try has gotten me surprisingly far!

Where were you born?

Small town hospital

What are your hobbies?

I make movies! I do arts and crafts. I walk around outside, the deeper in the wilderness the better (but lately I've mostly just been walking around the perimeter of the office parking lot … there was a goose last week, and some ducks the week before that - I'll take whatever nature I can get)

Do you have any pets?

No pets, but I do get really excited when the kangaroo paw outside my window is in bloom and the hummingbirds come to visit every day.

What Sports do you play/have you played?

I don't consider myself very sporty, but I did spend a lot of time playing team sports in school: volleyball, basketball, and track. The weirdest sport I did in school was hashing. It's a running game where one person (the hare) gets a bag of flour and a head start, and they lay a trail for the rest of the runners (the pack) to follow. It was a great way for me (a slower runner) to have a fun time running with everyone else (and a great way to go on a 5 or 10 mile run without getting bored). I started in college and kept it up for a few years afterwards (with a different group) but I eventually drifted away.

How Tall are you?

5'7"

Favourite subject in school?

I enjoyed school overall but college was where the real fun was. I loved all my materials science classes - especially "science of breaking things" (not it's official name but that's what we all called it) because I got to use a microscope to look at pretty patterns in metal. Good times!

Dream Job?

One where I get to make graphs and look through microscopes a lot (making crafts and then breaking them apart is also a lot of fun). My current job is pretty good, but sometimes they make me do other things so I still have room to dream of a better workday. I am also starting to wonder if it would be really great to be retired. I can't afford that right now, but it's starting to sound really nice.

I'm too shy to tag people, but I would love to see folks' answers, so please consider yourself tagged if you want to play too!

[oops-all-knuxadow]

I posted 432 times in 2022

That's 302 more posts than 2021!

69 posts created (16%)

363 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mushtoons

@arrows-asks

@if-i-say-goodbye

@cozyqueerchaos

@chaos-matrimony

I tagged 77 of my posts in 2022

#knuxadow - 32 posts

#shadow the hedgehog - 19 posts

#knuckles the echidna - 17 posts

#shadknux - 13 posts

#🌹 asks - 10 posts

#mun speaks - 10 posts

#shaduckles - 10 posts

#knuxadow week 2021 - 7 posts

#ask - 6 posts

#knuxadow: bandages - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 120 characters

#surprise!!! i'm still chugging away at my half of the trade i was supposed to give you ages ago! djsndksndjs im so sorry

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Now that Shadow and Knuckles are dating, it's kind of imperative that the hedgehog learns to get along better with his boyfriend's friends. Here's how I think he could do it:

Tails is easy. He's extremely smart and they both have an appreciation for automechanics - Shadow with his bike and Tails with his plane. They can also trade information; if Shadow doesn't understand something about technology, Tails will help him in exchange for knowledge about medicine or his chaos powers. Brain Buddies!

Contrary to popular belief, I think he and Sonic are friends, to the extent that sworn rivals can be, at least. There's clearly a respect of skill present, and Sonic is no pushover. He's saved the world so many times by being a surprisingly brilliant strategist and fighter. Shadow knows that he can't come out on top in a race, but it doesn't matter. They challenge each other, push each other to raise the bar, to be better. They're friendly in such a way that they inspire one another to surpass their perceived limitations.

Amy would be easy to bond with, too, I think. Shadow could have a great respect for her strength, being able to wield that giant hammer like it's nothing. I don't know that Amy could necessarily like or admire any part of Shadow besides the fact that he looks a little like Sonic, but she's friendly and adaptive, so it's a bond of mutual respect above anything else.

The Chaotix are a team of skilled detectives (plus Charmy), so Shadow would appreciate their investigative prowess. He'd most likely be friendliest with Espio because of their similar dispositions, and he would mention what a great recruit he'd make on stealthier GUN missions.

Is Knuckles friends with the Babylon Rogues??? If he isn't, oops. If he is -

Wave kinda acts like Rogue, and Shadow lives with her, so he's got this in the bag. Give her a passing compliment, hand her some jewelery or pretend like he's got something precious to steal that she can make off with, and call it a day.

Storm kinda acts like Knuckles, but...dumber. Compliment his muscles, get in some sort of arm-wrestling match, call it a day.

Jet is fucking Annoying. I have no doubt Shadow would have zero patience for this smarmy bird. At BEST, they could bond over extreme gear (nice board. thanks, nice skates.) but that's it, bro. This blog is part of the Jet Sucks Gang.

That's all I've got thus far. If you'd like to see how Shadow could possibly befriend anybody else lemme know.

76 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

#4

I've only seen the first season of Sonic Boom, and Shadow only appeared in the very last episode of that season, with some vague and limited knowledge in between, so if he's ooc I'm sorry!

This is my part of a trade with @louie-loses-it which was super fun!! I hope we can collab again! Please consider visiting his blog and checking out some of their absolutely fantastic art!

Shadow strolled quietly along the beach, ever-present scowl traded in for something softer, for once. He had no plans, no schemes running, and no carefully crafted manipulation fed to him through Eggman to go and carry out at the moment, so his afternoon was free.

His shoes made indentations in the sand as he walked along. He briefly considered taking them off so he could enjoy it barefoot, but dismissed it out of concern that the idiot doctor could come by and annoy him again. He seemed to hatch a new plan against the village once a week. It was nearly episodic at this point, so the hedgehog begrudgingly remained on guard for the sound of machinery on the horizon. For now, he could relax, his ears catching only the sounds of the ocean lapping against the shore and two pairs of footsteps.

Shadow stopped walking. One pair of footsteps.

Fists clenched, the striped hedgehog whirled around and bared his teeth, coming face to chest with a tall, red echidna.

He squinted, then lifted his gaze upward until it landed on a pair of excited, violet eyes.

"Heya, Shadow!" Knuckles beamed. "I'm glad I found you! I -"

"Where are your friends?" Shadow demanded. "Waiting out of sight to ambush me? You all should know by now that I'm much too fast for you to gang up on so easily."

"Huh? No, I'm all alone!" Knuckles replied. "Or - no, I'm not. You're here, so I'm actually not alone!"

"Quit fooling around!"

"How dare you!? I only fool around when I have my jester hat on! And it's in the wash right now!"

Shadow grit his teeth. There was no way he was sent out here to be any sort of distraction, or to do reconnaissance; this buffoon was all muscle and no brain.

"Then tell me," he bit out, rapidly losing patience, "why you're here. Before I beat it out of you."

Although, admittedly, that would be hard to do. He'd seen the kind of force Knuckles put behind a punch, and if he wasn't careful, being on a receiving end of something like that would put him out of commission for a few days. Shadow could not afford to be downed like that. He needed to play it smart if this turned into a fight.

See the full post

93 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#3

Shadow liked Knuckles' honesty. If he didn't understand something, he was quick to make that known, and the hedgehog was happy to explain it to him. If he wanted or needed something, he vocalized it, and the hybrid would do his best to get it for him.

If he liked something, or someone, well.

Hearing Knuckles confess his romantic interest in the hybrid right after an intense battle with Eggman wasn't something he was expecting, but Shadow was grateful all the same. Since they've been together, he was making an effort to return that same level of honesty the echidna had been giving him.

"I like it when you wear clothes," Knuckles commented one afternoon, gesturing to the bomber jacket his boyfriend had thrown on before coming to visit him. "You have good taste."

The hedgehog thanked him, taking a seat next to Knuckles on the Master Emerald's shrine. Together they watched the slow-approaching sunset, content in each other's company.

"I like when you do that, too," Knuckles muttered some time later. A black ear turned in his direction before red eyes followed, curious.

"Do what?"

"Relax." Violet eyes met his gaze, the sincerity almost too much to bear. "The stiffness leaves your shoulders, and you look happier. I like seeing you calm."

Shadow was glad the low light made it hard to tell if he was blushing, because he could feel the heat in his face.

He cleared his throat. "You...you make me feel calm, so in a way, you're praising yourself."

"Sure, if you wanna see it that way."

They lapsed into silence again, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Rather, it was anticipatory, though the hedgehog couldn't for the life of him figure out what for.

There was also the belated realization that Knuckles hadn't been watching the sunset almost the entire time they sat together. As the last rays started vanishing behind the horizon, the shorter male turned to face his companion again.

"What is it?" Shadow pried, gently. Knuckles didn't shy away, instead giving words to his desires, displaying vulnerability in a way his partner would never fully know.

"I really want to kiss you."

See the full post

97 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

#2

While I continue writing out my hella long angsty fic, have some headcanons!

Knuckles is so so so tactile. Knowing that Shadow is virtually invincible means he doesn't have to be afraid of hurting him, so it's hugs and hand holding and cuddles galore.

Shadow's thoughts run along the same vein. Knuckles is incredibly strong, so the hedgehog can be a little rougher with him when their make-outs get passionate. And if he accidentally pokes his boyfriend with his quills, well...stop trying to hug him from behind. He's not made to be the little spoon.

Knuckles wants Shadow to be little spoon so badly. Getting pricked a hundred times a night while trying to sleep is a pretty big deterrent, though.

They LOVE to play Punch Buggy!!! It's funny and they never keep track of who actually wins, it's just an excuse to work their way up to a friendly spar!

Knuckles has gotten good at translating Shadow's varying "hmms" and grunts, which the rest of the crew finds both cute and weird. One little noise and the echidna knows whether or not he's upset, amused, needs space, or hungry.

Shadow's love language is acts of service. He prefers to show you that he cares rather than simply putting it to words. On the other hand, he loves to receive words of affirmation.

Knuckles' love language is quality time. He lives alone on Angel Island, and while he's not fond of trespassers, it does feel extremely isolating at times. He loves to receive touch.

Knuckles kissed Shadow first. He watched him punch his way through steel in order to take out a giant robot, and made out with him amongst the rubble while they were both high off adrenaline. Shadow considers it one of the most romantic things they've ever done.

Shadow wants kids!!! Let him be a family man!! Knuckles isn't sure he'd be a good dad, but Shadow would assure him he'd be great.

Knuckles has different customs regarding romance compared to the rest of modern Mobius. Sharing his culture with Shadow is considered an extreme act of devotion, and implies intent to stay with him for the rest of their lives.

"Shadow, if you die before I do, would you permit me to bury you on Angel Island, near the shrine?"

Bruh basically fucking proposed with that one djsbcosndksbfjs

Knuckles l o v e s making Shadow laugh. He's very attracted to the sound of his voice. Especially when they fuck

Shadow likes matching chest fur with his boyfriend. This one's a little sillier but I like the idea of him showing up with his fluff cut into a little sideways crescent moon like Knuckles'.

See the full post

113 notes - Posted March 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Thinking about an Actor au besties!

Team Dark still play government agents, but off-camera they're all kind, light-hearted people and Omega is ridiculously funny. His delivery is very dry and monotone on account of being a robot, but man his timing is impeccable. He will make an off-hand comment that sends half his costars into tears and delay the shoot by half an hour.

Sonic is this confident hero on camera but he's almost painfully shy off-camera unless he's friends with you. This makes fan meet-ups hard, cause he tends to get overwhelmed and run off.

Tails is still his adopted brother on and off screen. He acts like a little shit but in a fun way, not in a "please control your feral kid" way.

EGGMAN. my god. Eggman is an angel when he's not playing a diabolical villain. He's Shadow's uncle and they're very close. Think of Mr. Tinker - that's what he's like when he's not acting. Super kind, gives EXCELLENT hugs, doesn't know what method acting is, he just turns it On and Off. He doesn't have a mean bone in his rotund little body.

Knuckles is a volunteer firefighter when he isn't on camera! He and Shadow met when the studio caught ablaze due to a faulty pyrotechnics stunt and they fell in love when he carried Shadow out of the building. Their chemistry was so strong the studio asked Knuckles to play a background character in a film. He did so well they kept him on and gave him bigger and bigger roles.

The meds are kicking in so I gotta take a break but please ask me for headcanons or whatever if you like the idea

122 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[slonekaru]

I posted 6,258 times in 2022

268 posts created (4%)

5,990 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@crazzzedope

@scarefox

@spicyvampire

@smittenskitten

@rocktheholygrail

I tagged 4,100 of my posts in 2022

Only 34% of my posts had no tags

#love in the air - 552 posts

#kinnporsche - 463 posts

#payurain - 298 posts

#boss chaikamon - 293 posts

#noeul nuttarat - 282 posts

#vegaspete - 258 posts

#zhang zhehan - 254 posts

#build jakapan - 221 posts

#bounprem - 221 posts

#between us the series - 207 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i like to think in the boc kp universe since leather cuffs weren't used at the safe house they are vegas/petes choice for sexy fun times

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

You know I've seen a few posts on Porsche bring Pete to the bar so Vegas can speak to him. How this was the wrong thing to do, or how he's fallen into the moral grey area of being in the mafia as he is only thinking about himself and getting the info he wants from Vegas, but not thinking or caring about Petes' feelings/mental state.

But you know what, I'm going to give this one to Porsche. No doubt some people will disagree but I honestly thought Porsche added 2 plus 2 and actually got 4. And lets face it that is a miracle in itself with this series unless your name is Tankhun!

Why do I feel this way when others don't?

Porsche knows Pete's been with the minor family, despite Pete's denial. He also knows Vegas penchant for torture, that there is the first connection. He knows Vegas did this to Pete since Pete has turned up in the state he has.

And the way I read it he was watching Pete struggle with his emotions in that bathtub and recoginsed something in them. Because it wasn't that long ago Porsche was struggling with his own emotions when they were waring inside of him about the fact Kinn had sexually assaulted him when he was drugged vs the fact he was actually attracted to Kinn and did want something to happen, he just wasn't ready.

Also Porsche is completely familiar with Vegas's tactics by now, he knows Vegas uses emotional and sexual manipulation. Porsche was on the receiving end of that and he got a first-hand look at the outcome of it via Tawan. So it's not far-fetched that he makes connection 2, something emotional/sexual happened between Vegas and Pete.

How did him and Kinn move forward? Well, they talked it out. Sure they had to be handcuffed together and go trapsing through the woods, but that is how he settled his emotions and it wouldn't surprise me that in his mind Pete needs the same thing.

Cue a call between him and Vegas and Vegas 'requesting' to see Pete. Because that is the phrasing he used as Porsche was walking away from Vegas in the back alley of Hum, he had a request.

Porsche could have easily not brought Pete, he could have easily stuck to Petes' side and not allowed Vegas a chance to get near him. But as he said it was down to Vegas from there. And Pete is still a bodyguard and capable of defending himself (after all he was carrying and pulled the gun on Vegas).

Maybe Porsche decided this was the time for Pete to get that opportunity in a safe environment, where he could walk away if he didn't want to talk and it is away from the rest of the main family where Pete is trying to hide what happened to him.

And let's face it Porsche was right because Pete needed a genuine apology from Vegas, which he got. It's then up to him if he wants to accept.

So in summary it seemed like Porsche was hella perceptive and understanding of Petes' feelings. He actually cared a lot about helping Pete and is just worried about his friend.

208 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

#4

You know I thought this was innocent at first but then my brain went 'wait a minute!'

Is Noeul making a joke/alluding to the sex scene?!?!?! And Peat damn well knows it as well!

266 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

#3

I can't believe Payu rocked up to Rains

Talked himself into the house

Got Rain half naked right under his moms nose

Charmed Rains mother over dinner

Made out with Rain in his childhood bedroom right under his moms nose again!

Somehow acquired Rains moms phone number while doing all the above

Called Rains mom to request Rain come over for a booty call!!!!

And got away with it all!

The Balls on this man! Capital B!

361 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

#2

No one: So Slone what were you doing when you found out the Queen had died?

Me: Watching a bratty baby sub getting railed for the first time by his newly acquired Dom. Why, what about you?

430 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Like I love the fact that out of all that has been happening in Kinnporsche there is a big chunk of the fandom obsessed with this guy

850 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wolfjackle-creates]

@stealingyourbones You've reblogged this so many times I can't help but think it's your way of asking for more! And these are some fun additions from @lolottes, so why the hell not. (Ignores the three other active writing projects and the thing I crocheted next to me with far too many ends to weave in.)

Word Count: 900

-----

Jazz walked up to the help desk with the liminal stranger trailing behind her and asked for a key to a study room. The woman behind the counter was in a wheelchair and gave her a tight smile as she handed over the key and indicated which room to go to.

She didn't notice the signed conversation going on behind her when she turned, but she did feel the <I'm safe> that the liminal sent to the other woman. Did they know each other? Jazz would have to teach him to stop projecting so much at regular humans. Never getting a reply to projected empathy was only alienating.

She also needed to learn his name. Yeah, that might be a good place to start.

The entire way to the study room, she kept up her projections of <safe, no harm> and it was only once they were settled that she spoke verbally again. "I totally spaced outside, sorry. My name is Jazz and I'm from a small town in Illinois called Amity Park. I'm here studying at Gotham U. What's your name?"

"Jason. Gothamite, born and raised. Why are we here?" <wariness, confusion>

"Because you've died or are otherwise death-touched and you haven't had anyone to help you figure it out. I can." <let me help>

"You said 'liminal' before and that I 'communicate like the dead.'" <fear, wariness>

Jazz nodded. "I did. Liminal is just another word for death-touched. Specifically in a way that exposed you to a lot of ectoplasm which is a glowing green substance that comes from the Infinite Realms which are where ghosts come from." <we're the same>

"You too?" <curiosity>

"Yeah. I didn't die fully, but my little brother has. I was exposed to low amounts of ectoplasm from the time of my conception and throughout my life. Made my first visit to the Infinite Realms a few years ago after my brother's death."

<concern, safe?> was sent her way, though Jason seemed content to listen to her speak.

So Jazz sent back <safe now, good> and continued. "My entire town is drenched in ectoplasm and ghosts visit daily. Most are benign, some like to cause trouble, but Danny, my brother, takes care of them when they do. Anyway, due to all the ectoplasm, all humans have managed to pick up the basics of projected empathy. Like what we're doing."

"How do I know if I've been exposed to ectoplasm?" <concern, curiosity>

She reached into her bag and took out her water bottle. It was one of those opaque metal ones that can keep drinks cold or hot for nearly a full day. She opened it up and showed him the concoction within. "I mixed some with my iced tea this morning. It's this color green, but is much thicker."

"Lazarus water," he whispered. <fear, recognition, anger> "How'd you get that." His voice went hard and his eyes narrowed at her.

Jazz shrugged and recapped her tea. "My parents have been studying ghosts and ectoplasm since before I was born. They'd store it in the fridge next to our food. And once Danny got the portal working, we had a doorway to the Realms where it comes from in our basement. I get it from my brother now. Gotham doesn't have enough to keep me healthy in the air, so I supplement with my special tea once or twice a week. More often during exams." And then she realized something. "Wait! Do you have a source to get your own? You must be starving. If you come by my dorm, I can hook you up."

<incredulity> "You want to become my dealer? Of Lazarus water?" Jason did not look relieved by her offer at all.

Dammit, she was definitely messing this up. <sorry, safe, good for you> "Once you're liminal enough for ghost communication, you're liminal enough to need to ingest ectoplasm to be healthy. Now, I've never heard it called Lazarus water before, but I'll take your word they're the same. I'm just trying to make sure you have access to a necessary component of your diet."

"And why should I take your word for all of this?" <mistrust>

<confusion> "I mean, you can feel my projections. It's impossible to lie through empathy. I can't send you anything I don't actually feel." <trust me, safe, promise> To further prove her point, she took a long drink of her ecto-infused tea.

"I want to know more about what ectoplasm is and what it does before I take anything from you."

"Of course, that makes sense. Will you trust me if I explain now or would you rather read some of the research my brother and friends have done? We also have some information packets from a ghost doctor."

"Explain and send the documents so I can verify myself."

"Yeah, sure, of course."

An hour later, Jazz nearly regretted agreeing so quickly. Jason wanted to know everything and did not have the requisite background knowledge to make answering his questions easy.

Two hours later, she definitely regretted it and they agreed to meet up again in two days to go over the rest of his questions.

But that night, she slept soundly. It was a relief to have another liminal around. It felt impossible to fully connect with regular humans when talking to them felt so shallow without the undercurrent of empathy.

Short DPXDC Prompts #823

Jazz first ran into Jason outside the library. Jazz was too busy on her phone and tripped straight into Jason. On instinct, Jason grabbed her in a hug and steadied her. Being wrapped in a hug suddenly isn’t something Jazz expected to happen today but damn the man had one comforting embrace.

[daydreaming-in-letters]

Special

11/16/2022

Pairing: Andrew (Hozier) x fem!reader

Word Count: 3,500

Warnings: rpf, language, mentions of alcohol, slightly smutty daydreaming, mentions of online dating disasters, slander, pining, mentions of past heartbreak, fluff

Summary: Andrew has been secretly in love for a long time. Will he finally find it in himself to confess his feelings to his beloved?

A/N: It took me quite a while to finish this, but it was important to me that I did. I've been struggling with my writing for some time now and maybe it shows. Still, this one is special to me and one of the most personal stories I have ever written.

Picture by Joshua Newton via Unsplash (edited)

If you like my story, you are very welcome to like, comment or reblog. No permission is given to copy, repost or share my work on other platforms.

Andrew could feel the cold creeping up on him from behind his back. What had been supposed to be the last night of summer had turned out to be the first night of autumn instead. Probably sensing the crisp bite of nightfall approach, someone had lit a fire hours ago, back when the sun had still been powerful enough to deceive the rest of them for a little longer. The oak logs, now turned into embers of glowing red, still gave off enough heat to keep the whole group outside way past midnight. Not that he would have needed the fire to keep him warm though. Her sight was more than sufficient to drive away the chill in an instant and provide him with enough heat to turn his cheeks pink whenever his eyes lingered for too long and his thoughts began to wander. 

He could have easily sat through the night without their bonfire if only she was there with him. He had to admit though that the fire suited her well, unveiling her full beauty to him once again in all its splendour, like the day he had finally realised he was in love with her. 

Dark shadows and golden lights danced across her face, caressing her soft skin with the tenderness of a lover’s touch. With every flicker of the flames, the glossy sheen of her painted lips twinkled enticingly, as if he would have needed the sight to remind him of the countless times he had yearned to taste them. What drew him in most though were her eyes, they always did. But it was here, in the glow of the fire, that they shone like they did only in the rarest of moments, when she allowed her feelings to breach the surface of her usually so reserved demeanour. 

The fact that he hadn’t seen her in quite a while only added to the effect she had on him. It must have been a good year ago, but the memory was still as vivid as if it had only been a few days. Andrew would never forget the darkness he had seen in her eyes that day. And he would never forgive the one who had put it there. The one she had called her lover back when lightning had first pierced Andrew’s defenceless heart. The one that sat right here by the fire among all their friends, like Judas among the apostels. Maybe even worse. 

With the heed of each and every single one of Argos’ ninety-nine waking eyes, Andrew had watched them all night, searching for even the slightest signs of discomfort on her side, or worse, of phoenix rising from the ashes, but so far nothing alarming had passed between them.

Andrew had always admired former lovers who were able to turn failed romance into friendship, but seeing these two on friendly terms, watching her laugh about his witless jokes as if he hadn’t almost broken her heart beyond repair, made him seriously reconsider the veracity of that belief.

“Oh come on, not again,” someone broke his train of thought with their whiny complaint about the empty cooling bag. “I’m not going all the way up into the kitchen again to fetch you lazy fuckers more booze.”

Immediately more and more voices joined in, eager not to leave their comfortable spots by the fire and walk through the cold and dark of the garden—all but one, and he knew even before her lips had parted that she would take it upon herself to get the supplies from inside the empty house.

“All right,” she uttered with a soft sigh as she stood, “someone hand me the bag. I’ll go.”

Too quick for his brain to catch up on the movement, Andrew found himself on his feet as well and lunged towards the bag, beating her to it without any effort thanks to his long legs.

“I’ll come with you.”

He had feared she would protest, fastening his grip on the handle just in case she would try to yank it out of his hand while telling him she was plenty able to find the way to the fridge by herself. But she didn’t. Instead she just smiled up at him before her lips formed a silent thank you and Andrew was very grateful that his feet somehow remembered how to move on their own.

All evening a thousand questions he wanted to ask her had spiralled through his head. How was she doing? Had life treated her kindly since he had last seen her? God, he hoped it had. Still a part of him wished that didn’t extend to her love life as well and even though he knew it was childish to hope that her heart was still unclaimed because he wanted to make a home in it himself, he did. 

But he probably never would. Especially not since telling her about the feelings he had nursed for so long seemed impossible if he wasn’t even able to start a simple conversation now that they were alone. Maybe it was for the best though, seeing that she obviously wasn’t too keen on starting a conversation either.

It hadn’t always been like this, awkward and unfamiliar, as if they had never talked whole nights through, deeply lost in their own tiny universe where everything orbited around music, poetry, literature, mythology, politics, philosophy and all the other topics the rest of the gang found too profound for a night of drinking and light entertainment. He had lived for those moments, loved to pick her marvellous brain until, if only for a brief point in time, he was able to see the world through her eyes. 

And now he was standing here like a bloody fool, holding the bag for her in silence while she loaded bottle after bottle of cold brew into it. She was so close to him, her unique fragrance filling his senses every time she stirred the air between them when she turned. It was almost completely blanketed by the sharp stench of smoke. Almost. But not to him. He had memorised her scent like his favourite song, ready to recall every single note of it from memory even after all this time. Yet he seldomly allowed himself to do so. It made him careless, made his mind wander off to a place in which he imagined how she would feel, skin on skin. He wondered if she would taste just as good, her salty-sweet aroma still fresh on his tongue as their bodies became one in heated passion. He longed to feel her breath crawling up his neck as she moaned his name in pleasure, yearned to be wrapped tightly in the warmth of her—

“Andrew?”

The touch of her fingers gently pulled him from his fantasy, away from her and still back to her, back into the bleak reality of the kitchen with its buzzing fridge and cold neon lights.

“Huh?” he muttered sheepishly, his brain still unable to form a coherent sentence after what it had just dreamed up.

His irritation seemed to amuse her, a soft giggle breaking through her concern for a split second before she became serious again.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah. Sure.” He tried his best to sound convincing, but he knew she could read him like a book and so he was quick to add, “How about you?”

“Me? I’m not the one who zoned out for a moment.”

“True.” He smiled down at her, warm and soft. “But that’s not what I meant.”

“Oh.” For the blink of an eye the smile she had shot him in return faltered, and when it steadied on her lips again, it wasn’t quite the same anymore. “I’m good. Fine, actually. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, I just thought…you know…with him being here and all…”

“Ah, I see.” Her hand found his arm and gave it a gentle squeeze before gliding down the length of it and Andrew thought he could feel her touch in his very bones. “It’s very sweet of you to worry about me, but there’s really no need to. After all it was a mutual split.”

Actually, he remembered their breakup a little differently, but if this was the narrative she had chosen to hold onto, he wouldn’t be the one to crush it for her. But when she pulled her hand away from his, it was her who felt the need to correct that statement. 

“Okay, maybe the split itself wasn’t that mutual, but I know now that we had it coming for a long time. And I’ve made my peace with it.”

“That’s good to hear.” Andrew felt the awkward silence lure in the darkness that awaited outside the kitchen and still he needed another moment to gather the courage to ask the one question his heart feared the most and was still desperate to find the answer to. “So…um…are you…is there someone new in your life?”

“God no!” He hadn’t expected that reaction at all and even though he didn’t find his fears confirmed, there was something about her eyes and the tone of her voice that made his heart heavy for her. “I put that hope to rest rather quickly after I started online dating.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Part of him truly was because no matter how much he had wished for her to be single, he would never have wanted it to come at the cost of more hurt.

“No, don’t be. Some of the shit I’ve been through is actually quite amusing in retrospect. Come on, I’ll tell you a few stories on the way back.”

It had taken them quite a while before they could hear the laughter from the fireplace drift over to them again. They had stopped a few times on the way, mostly because he had temporarily forgotten how to walk in the face of the things she had told him. But no matter how he looked at it, amusing was far from the word he would use to describe most of the things she had endured. Disbelief had alternated with rage up to a point that he himself felt awful for even sharing the same sex with this scum. 

After what he had just learned, Andrew couldn’t blame her for losing faith in love, not in the least. If anything, he was surprised how well she seemed to handle everything she had been through. In his eyes it was more than admirable. Of course he had known before that dating was seldomly an easy thing, but until now he had never realised what risks it held for women in a world almost entirely shaped by men.

“Promise me you won’t tell the others, okay? I wouldn’t want them to know. Especially not…”

Despite the darkness he could see her eyes shimmer with embarrassment. What for, he didn’t know. She had nothing to blame herself for. 

“Of course. I promise. Cross my heart.” 

A slender finger moved across his chest in two strokes to support his words and his childlike gesture made her smile. He had hoped it would. What he hadn’t anticipated however was her next move, and as her palm found the very spot he had just marked with a cross, his heart sank into his feet. There was nothing he could do to prevent it from speeding up, forced to stand and watch her catch on to it any second now while he felt its powerful drum underneath the thin layer of skin that covered his neck. 

“So, you still seem to get along with Y/N exceptionally well. Any chances for a reunion then?”

Her hand fell away, his fear of getting caught forgotten immediately, when she turned towards the voices. The little group that sat around the fire was still veiled from view by a few thick bushes, but the teasing tone was enough to imagine the grin on the talker’s face. Andrew and the woman by his side were far from grinning though.

“Not in a million years. We split for a reason, you know.”

“Yeah, I totally understand. She’s kind of…special.”

“You can say that again.”

Even in the dim light that reached their hiding spot from the fire, Andrew could see her face fall. Fascinated and petrified alike by the myriad of emotions that flickered in the treacherous gleam of her eyes, he wished he could do anything but watch disaster unfold right in front of him. He might have thought of something, anything, had he known that they were far from finished with their humiliating ordeal.

“Might be the reason online dating isn’t going too well for her.”

“Honestly, I can’t say that comes as a real surprise.”

The conversation was far from over, but Andrew didn’t care anymore. All he cared about was the pair of wide eyes that seemed to stare right into the darkness of the cosmos as her body stumbled back a few steps.

“Y/N?”

The bag fell into the grass with a thud, the bottles inside clinking dangerously, but all he heard was her trembling voice that mumbled an absentminded excuse.

“I…I’m really tired. I should probably head home.”

And with that she just turned, the hint of an apologetic smile on her face, and let the shadows swallow her. For a second he just stood there, frozen in place by the rising panic inside of him, until the faint noise of a shaky breath carried over to him on the breeze.

“Wait.”

But she didn’t. Of course she didn’t. And why would she? He had done nothing to stop those eejits from their slander and he couldn’t blame her for assuming it was because he secretly agreed with them. 

“Y/N, stop.”

His feet had begun to move at last, hurrying after her as fast as the slippery grass allowed until he could make out her silhouette only an arms-length away and reached for her. 

“Please stop.” 

His voice was soft, but his hold on her wrist wasn’t. He couldn’t let her walk away from him, not like this. Not before he had told her—

But the moment she turned to face him, the words died away in his throat as he took her in in the faint moonlight, two watery lines cascading down her cheeks like streams of stars. Words would not be enough to make them stop. It was foolish, a gesture born from sheer helplessness in the face of his beloved’s despair, but there was no falter in his hands when he pulled her in and sealed her lips with his own. 

It wasn’t at all what he had hoped their first kiss to be like. But at least for a second he could feel her return it, her hands coming up to his chest, fisting the thick denim of his jacket, before she pushed him away.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

His honest bewilderment seemed to be completely lost on her. Instead her chin began to tremble dangerously.

“Don’t be kind to me because I’m sad. Your pity just confirms they are right.”

“Pity? You think this was a gesture of pity?”

Her silence was answer enough and Andrew could see her retreat into her shell again. Soon, she would once more shoot him that apologetic smile and flee the scene, without ever knowing that in this very moment, pity was the last thing he felt for her. 

“What about this then?”

This time, he knew exactly what he was doing. Fully prepared to be pushed away again, to be yelled at or be slapped in the face, he leaned down. Gentle fingers cupped her cheek and he took it as a good sign that she didn’t shy away from his touch. He waited, one last moment for her to stop him, but she didn’t, and so he closed the last gap between them. 

This was what it should have been like the first time. Soft and tender, full of affection, every fibre of his being filled with her until he didn’t know anymore where he ended and she began. Through the haze of his rapture he faintly noticed the soft press of her body against his, unwavering arms wrapping around his neck, and he pulled her closer, securing her in his arms while she moaned her sweet approval into his mouth. 

He could have kissed her like this forever, but he still had a point to prove, a statement to make, and so he pulled away.

“Still think this was a pity kiss?” he panted against her lips and when her answer didn’t come, he pulled away further to look at her. He had hoped to be met with the familiar warmth of her eyes, but he found her gaze fixed on his jacket instead, where she watched her own hands adjust his collar.

“Even if it was—”

“It wasn’t.”

“Still,” she paused for a second, “what they say is true.”

“So? What’s wrong with being special?”

“I think we both know they didn’t mean special in a good way.”

Andrew sighed as his palm found her cheek again. “Maybe they didn’t.” He gently tilted her head and waited patiently until she finally decided to look at him. “But I do. I mean it in the best way possible when I say you’re special to me, Y/N. They may be right, you are complicated. But aren’t we all in our own way? That’s how nature has created us, as absolutely unique individuals, beautifully complicated. None of them may understand this, measuring you by society’s grotesque norms instead, but to me you are easy to love.”

“Andy, I…”

“It’s okay, love. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same about me. I just wanted you to know.”

This was it. He had said what he had wanted to say. Now she would try her best to be gentle in her rejection, thank him for his honesty and leave. He would probably not see her again after tonight. 

“Fuck,” he mumbled as his forehead sank against hers, “I should have told you a long time ago.”

“Maybe, yes. Then again, I don’t think you could have chosen a better moment to tell me than this exact one.”

His brain had no time to process what she had just said, distracted by the hands that found his trembling form again, one gliding into the warm space between his shirt and jacket, the other smoothing along his cheek and into his hair to hold him in place. As if he would ever even consider parting from her in a moment like this. And then he could feel it again for a heartbeat, the feathery touch of her lips on his, ethereal and unreal like a fleeting daydream. 

His next words came in a whisper against her own, anxious if he lost their touch, he might wake from this dream after all. “Do you still want to get out of here?”

“Desperately.”

“Will you let me walk with you then? Just to make sure my special girl gets home safe and sound.”

“I think,” she said quietly, her breath leaving a honeyed due on his lips, “that’s the best idea you had tonight.” Slowly he moved, still reluctant to part from her, and it was only when he had secured her hand safely in his own that he dared to pull away and began walking. “Your best idea apart from that pity kiss, maybe.”

“I told you, woman, it wasn’t a pity kiss.” 

It was too dark to see her now, the moonlight shielded from them by the thick branches of a fir tree that hung above. And so, there was nothing he could do but squeeze her hand to make his protest known. 

“Bollocks,” she huffed teasingly as she squeezed back, causing Andrew to stop in his tracks.

“Do I need to show you again?”

“It surely won’t hurt.”

She squealed in surprise as he wrapped his arm around her middle and manoeuvred her backwards. With a soft groan, her spine was pressed into the gnarly bark of the tree while her head landed securely against the back of a large hand that shielded it from impact. 

“Kiss me, Andrew,” she breathed into the expectant silence, her fingers finding his lush curls again and guiding him towards the source of her heady whisper. And he did. Until he could feel the world around him starting to spin. He could have blamed it on the lack of oxygen or the darkness around them that heightened his senses, maybe even on the mere fact that this kiss had seemed so utterly unthinkable by the beginning of this evening, but he knew too well that it was the woman in his arms who made this kiss the most special he had ever shared. A kind of special he vowed to always cherish and never take for granted.

[bunny-rambles]

Hello! I've been lurking in your blog for quite some time now and congrats on your 200 followers!! Hope more is to come soon! 💖 can i request my fave number 13 for Albedo + Fluff? ty and congrats again! 💕

13- “I didn’t mean to say that, but yeah I love you.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

characters; Albedo, gn reader, Kaeya

cw/tw; reader nearly falls to their death, mutual pining, kaeya being a tease, albedo forgetting to function when he’s flustered, brief mention of drinking- let me know if there’s anything I missed.

word count; 1.3k

notes; Ahhh,,, when I saw I had a lurker my heart burst. Thank you so much for requesting, I hope my content is good enough for you to be lurking around hehe,,, Please don’t be afraid to say hi though! I won’t bite, honest. With that being said, this has a lil bit of an angsty twist in it but it’s nothing major. Excuse the jumping of tenses, I’m struggling hardcore with writers block right now. I hope you enjoy it!!

event; 200 milestone

Please reblog if you like this!!

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“Do you need help with that?”

“No, thank you.”

“Albedo, are you free today?”

“Sorry, Y/N. Perhaps next time.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

“No, it’s quite alright.”

Every attempt at opening up a conversation with The Chief Alchemist was shut down immediately, and you were at a loss at what to do.

It wasn’t always like this. In fact, just a few weeks ago, the two of you were almost inseparable. The only time you two parted ways was when you had to leave to go home. He had even started coming to Angel’s Share with you some nights. Even when rowdy crowds weren’t exactly his thing, he did it for you. He was always by your side, sharing your joy in silence with that soft smile of his that you adored. He wasn’t overbearing or clingy, he just liked to be near you. You had asked why once and he said even he didn’t know the answer.

“Perhaps,” He began slowly, setting down the vile of bubbling liquid he was handling and facing you with a smile, “I just enjoy the feeling of elation I get when I’m around you.” You knew you were done for when he had started to chuckle at how red your face had gotten.

However, suddenly he was now avoiding you at every turn. If he saw you coming towards him in Mondstat, he’d politely tell his students he needed to tend to an experiment before turning tail. If you called out to him, he’d walk faster. Not only did this hurt, but it was extremely confusing. Even though Albedo wasn’t exactly the most social adept, he wasn’t this… Cold. Even with strangers, he reciprocated their kindness the best he could. So, you must’ve done something to upset him, or worse. Right?

So here you were, face buried in your desk, trying to explain your situation to someone who found it hilarious.

“You really have no idea why he’s avoiding you?”

Kaeya’s silky voice hummed, receiving another muffled groan from you.

“Why do you think I’m here?”

For the third time since you arrived in his office, he laughed loudly. It was like he was in on some elaborate joke you weren’t and it was driving you insane. Had Albedo already come to Kaeya and complained about you? The thought made your stomach tighten painfully.

“Please stop laughing and just tell me what he said…”

“He hasn’t said anything.”

What? “Then why are you laughing?”

The Cavalry Captain suddenly straightened up, his grin softening into a smile, one of understanding. Which ironically confused you even more.

“I don’t think you’ve upset him. But it is something you two need to talk about.”

“That isn’t helpful at all…”

Another chuckle, his large hand giving your shoulder a gentle pat. “Just trust me on this one.”

And so, here you were. In Dragonspine. Alone. You gulped, the snow mountain daunting just to look at. No. This was not going to intimate you. Your friendship with Albedo was far more important than anything this environment could throw at you. Shaking your head, you pressed on further. You knew he would’ve done the same for you.

It had been a while since then, though. You couldn’t feel your feet that were still moving on autopilot, trying to push you further, your body eager to reach the alchemist’s camp. But unfortunately, finding a source of warmth was more important than finding the aloof blonde at this point. With a shudder, you pulled your coat around your body tighter, standing still to properly look around your surroundings. It was getting dark and the winds were fiercer than when you had started this journey. Finding a fire was starting to become near impossible. But if you just focused, you knew you’d find something.

Ah, there!

A flickering flame, weak but welcoming, burned brightly in the distance. Finally, a sign of hope showing itself through this dreary weather-

Your breath caught up in your throat violently from you after your foot plummeted off the bridge you were on, unexpecting of the sudden drop. You choked, gasping in surprise as you held on for dear life. Due to the growing storm you couldn’t see that you were already on the bridge that led to the very person you were looking for. So close, yet so far. ‘Is this the end?’ You wondered absentmindedly, your grip slipping on the icy wood you were clinging to. Please… You were nearly there. “Bedo…” You croaked, throat dry from the piercing wind that seemed to swallow your voice. Your hand slipped further. Think, Y/n, think! Your mind was running so fast you couldn’t keep up with any of the thoughts that were bouncing around in your head. But every one of them were screaming his name.

“ALBEDO!”

Finally, your voice broke through the barrier of the storm, echoing through the entire mountain. And yet, nothing. No response. Just the dead silence and the howling winds swirling around you. Your hand slipped for the final time.

But what you weren’t expecting was your feet to hit something solid the second you let go. Confused, your gaze moved down to what you had landed on and your heart leapt in joy at the sight of the spinning flower under your feet. Through the blizzard, you could spot a figure with their arms stretched out towards you. “Jump!” It called, and your body reacts before your mind does, launching yourself towards them. A pair of warm, familiar arms pulled you in, pressing you against their chest.

“You’re alright, I’ve got you.” Albedo murmurs next to your ear. And for a moment, you both breathe.

-

“Achoo!”

You sniffled miserably, pulling the blanket that had been draped around your shoulders closer to you. You tried to avoid the piercing state of the alchemist beside you. He was annoyed at you, you could tell. He hadn’t said a word since you arrived, and that was incredibly unlike him. Normally there would’ve been questions, or ramblings about his latest discovery. This silence was suffocating. Until finally, he spoke.

“Here.” His hand extended to you, and only now did you realise he was holding something. Your hands cupped around it. Whatever it was, it was warm. And it… Smelled sweet. Your confusion was clearly apparent due to him clearing his throat awkwardly. “Hot chocolate. Extra marshmallows… Your favourite.”

“Thank y-“

“What were you thinking, coming out at this time of night? You know Dragonspine is dangerous.” Ah, there it was. You sighed heavily, hands tightening their grip on the hot mug.

“To be fair, it was brighter when I got here.” You laughed nervously, but the look on Albedo’s face was enough to stop you in your tracks. He was not amused, not in the slightest. “But I was… Looking for you.”

He softened, shifting closer. “Me?”

You nodded, taking a sip of the chocolate to calm your nerves. “You’ve been avoiding me… And I wanted to know why. Did I do something wrong? Have I… Angered you? Or-“

“No, no. I’m not upset with you, please do not think that I am.” You smiled at that, but then he continued. “But I have been avoiding you. I just… Need some time to gather my thoughts. After what you… Um…” The pale complexion of the alchemist had started to turn a vibrant crimson that reached the tip of his ears.

“After what?” You questioned, lost on what he meant, which made the blonde’s cerulean eyes widen.

“You don’t remember?” His answer was in the form of a shake of your head. “You told me you… You…” Now you were concerned. Since when did Albedo of all people get tongue tied? “You had feelings for me…” He finished finally, quietly.

Oh. Oh. Perhaps your friend joining you in your drinking sessions at the tavern wasn't such a good idea. And now you had the answer as to why Kaeya found all of this so amusing.

“I didn’t mean to say that…” You took a breath, before you continued. “But yes, I love you.”

It was silent. Then, his hand- gentle and swift, took yours in his own.

“And I, you…”