#it's been years but the last time we saw each other we weren't hostile

[abutterflyobsession]

sibling shows up to torment me in my dreams. unfair. this version of them no longer exists in reality only in my head go AwAY

[batsythoughts]

Soulmate Au with Dick Grayson where the last words they specifically say to YOU are on your wrist. THIS IS HURT/NO COMFORT! There will be no happy ending, so suffer with my thoughts!

'I understand.'

Those are the words that have been on Dick Grayson's wrist since the moment he was born

His parents told him it was most likely going to be said at the end of a long and happy life with his soulmate

When he became Robin, he worried it would be a one time interaction with a citizen before he wasn't able to save them

But when he became Nightwing, he stopped worrying about it and began to live his life to be grateful for all his interactions

He had always asked what everyone's words from their soulmate was when he got close enough to them, having deep conversations with each of them

He was always interested by Alfred's the most. He had two different sets of words on his wrist when everyone else only had one

"It appeared after they had died. A small reminder of the time we had together."

Dick had found that amazing, one would have the reminder of who their person was even after death separated them

At some point after Dick leaving to become Nightwing, Bruce had taken in you in

You had been raised by the Joker after he kidnapped you at the age of 9 to take over as the worst villain of Gotham when he ultimately died

Bruce explained that you had openly denounced the Joker and his views before switching sides

With no other place to go, Bruce had taken you in when you had no place of your own

Even after time had passed, Dick noticed that you didn't spend much time around the other. He never saw you leave the manor except for going on patrol

The most peculiar thing was you had a bandage that went around your wrist where your words were supposed to be

Dick tried starting conversations to get to know you, but you always found a way to get out of them

The most personal thing about you that he could seem to get was these little notebooks you would randomly write in

When he asked about them, you shot him down with a glare

"It's personal, wonder bitch. So back off."

Dick didn't understand why Bruce was still putting up with the same attitude for so long without snapping

He was always told to just give you some space and you would come around when you were finally ready to

Dick never took a liking to how you handled the vigilante business. He thought you weren't focused on keeping the citizens safe and only wanted to make the bad guys hurt more than anything

You always told him to get off your back when he pushed on how you should be more cautious about how to do the job

He started to become frustrated by being around you with how much you pushed back with every word he said, but he still tried to be pleasant

More time had passed and you still didn't really warm up to any of them, but you weren't as hostile with your words

You mostly stuck to your room so you didn't actually have much difference in the previous interactions with everyone

Dick still couldn't shake off the frustration though, no matter how hard he tried to be understanding and polite to you

One day when you had told Dick to 'fuck off to the sewers' after he had accidentally walked into and spilled your drink on your shirt, he was very tempted to yell out as you walked away

Jason quickly stepped in and stopped Dick before he could actually blow up over the attitude you kept displaying

"Dick, you don't entirely understand-"

"That shouldn't matter! They keep acting like-!"

"Like The Joker has raised them to think in a way of 'be useful or you will be killed'. We don't know what he could have done for all those years. We don't even know what life was like before Joker forced his way into the picture. Not everyone was born into loving families. Remember that."

Dick had tried to take Jason's words into consideration as the next few months progressed

You never expressed any form of appreciation to what Bruce or Alfred seemed to do for you. You would mostly just spend time alone around the manor, occasionally sitting around with Jason

The only time Dick seemed to see you express any emotion was when you would randomly write in the notebooks before putting it back in your pocket

Frustration and agitation kept getting bottled up the longer Dick watched the whole situation continue on

It was getting close to a big bust on some plan a couple of the villains had joined together for temporarily to make it successful

It was the end of patrol as Bruce was explaining what everyone's job was going to be for the following night so they could prepare themselves throughout the day

Bruce had mentioned that Damian would be working alongside Jason, and you had mumbled some comment about that

Dick had finally had enough as he looked over and asked what the problem was

You rolled your eyes before saying that Damian wouldn't be able to handle himself with the combined strength everyone would be against with everyone stretched so thin

Dick pushed as he argued that Damian had taken care of himself in worst situations and you should mind what you were claiming about them

Bruce tried to to get the both of you to calm down, but Dick kept pushing as he argued you didn't really know them or what they could do

You clenched your fist while arguing that the precious boy wonder didn't even have a full understanding of what the criminals of the city were actually capable of

Dick finally felt his anger reach the boiling point as be finally began yelling at you

It soon became a screaming match as Jason held Dick back while Bruce got between the two of you as Tim guided Damian out of the area

The anger kept getting worse for Dick as he was finally letting out all the pent up feelings from the past few months of watching you push back against everyone

"This way of thinking is going to be what gets you killed! And when it finally catches up to you, I'm not going to feel sorry for you dying!"

You suddenly become very silent as you just stare at Dick with a deep glare as Bruce raises his voice to make Dick calm himself down

"I understand." The venom is in your voice as you turn around and march out of the Batcave

Dick doesn't truly register the words as he and Bruce start to get in it about how Dick went too far and would need to apologize

Dick huffs as he pulled out of Jason's hold before walking off to go to his room to get some rest

As he walked through the manor, Dick saw Tim and Damian both waiting for him with confused look as they asked what happened

Dick assured them it was nothing they needed to worry themselves with before going to his room

Dick was surprised that you hadn't tried making the day hard for him in retaliation of what was all said

Your door had never opened an inch though the whole day after the fight had happened

The day was eerily calm in a way that made Dick slowly begin to regret what was said. He knew Bruce was right about apologizing, but decided the anger might make you focus on getting the job done and would talk to you tomorrow when patrol was done

Night had come and Bruce had changed the groups so Dick was with Tim while you paired up with Jason

Damian had said he didn't want to be on the mission due to an important test the next day he needed to pass, though everyone was certain it was a lie

No one argued as they got ready for the fight that was going to come before going to the streets of Gotham

The bust had gone down at midnight as everyone had fought to take down as many people they could with the minimum getting away

Everyone had a few scratches as they all helped get the criminals in the transport

Bruce was talking with Gordon when Dick noticed you standing a ways off from everyone else looking confused for some reason

He began to slowly walk over with the intention of apologizing with all the anger and adrenaline slowly fading

The ground shook as Killer Croc suddenly appeared while getting between you and everyone else

None of them could stop it as you got hit and went flying in the air

Dick went to try and subdue Killer Croc before getting hit back into the wall

He felt a pain in his wrist as his arm hit the bricks as the sound of shattered glass sounded from the building you got thrown through

Bruce and Jason were able to get Killer Croc subdued as Tim went over to Dick to make sure he was fine

Dick quickly brushed off the pain in his arm, saying he was fine as he went to the building with the shattered window to go and check on you

He saw you at the far end of the room with your back to him. Dick called out asking if you were okay as he cautiously stepped inside

He thought you were in a daze when you didn't respond. Being mindful of the glass, Dick kneeled down as he placed his hand on your shoulder

"I know you're mad, but this isn't fun-"

The words escape him as he gently pulled you onto your back. Your head still facing the direction you had landed in as the rest only turned slightly with the effort

Dick could only stare for a minute before his hand went to hold the cheek pressed against the floor

The small cracking of your neck that came when he turned your head made Dick's stomach churn

Small pieces of glass stuck out of your skin as your unfocused eyes stared at the ceiling now. A trail of blood flowing down your cheek from your barely parted lips

Dick had to stop himself from throwing up as he got back up and walked into the street

Dick held Tim back when he tried to go in and check on you. When asked what was wrong, Dick could only shake his head as Bruce came up to them

Dick could barely register anything as he watched them put the gurney you were on in the back of the medical examiner's van

They all got promised your body would be treated with the upmost respect until the time for your burial

The journey back was quiet as everyone processed what happened to you when they had thought it was safe

Dick had went to go take a shower to wash of the pressure he felt in his hands from where he had touched your body

He noticed the blood on his wrist when he had removed his shirt in the bathroom

He rinsed a rag with cold water before wiping the blood away to find a sight that made his blood run cold

'This way of thinking is going to be what gets you killed! And when it finally catches up to you, I'm not going to feel sorry for you dying!'

'I understand.'

The words looked like they had just been carved into his wrist with how fresh the new words appeared and the small bit of blood still seeping out of his skin

His thoughts went back to the fight when he had hit the wall. His arm didn't hurt because he was smacked into the wall

It had hurt because that was the moment you had died

Dick couldn't think of who he could confide in with this sudden news. Especially because he had been so cruel to you when you last spoke to one another

How could he have been so cruel to not even think of apologizing before the mission? The last think he said was how he wouldn't care if you died

But you had always known it would be that cruel. You were born with those careless shouts as a mockery on your skin since the first cry

While he grew up with thoughts of comfort over what he might have with his soulmate, you never got that when you saw those words

You had grown up in a world of torture by the hands of one of the cruelest men in all of Gotham, and his words couldn't even give you a sense of comfort over the torturous treatment you went through

It had been a couple of weeks since you had tragically passed away, and Dick found himself in the doorway of your room

He didn't know why he was even here, what he would even try to find, but he was there

The room didn't have too many decorations around as he went in, as if you never tried to find your own style

The clothes in the drawers and closet were like taunts as he touched the fabric (most were soft, so he figured that was a texture you liked)

A candle in your nightstand drawer had never been lit, but the cap had been repeatedly removed (he found that it smelled like flowers during a rainstorm. You must have liked that kind of smell)

There were a few books on the small desk you had with a handful of notes and letters scattered around (it looked like you had been trying to catch up on the education you missed out on)

After some time of looking around, Dick sat at the foot of the bed. He quickly realized something was wrong when his weight pressed on the mattress

He untucked the covers (why would you have been so neat with making the bed?) to find that a small section of the padding had been cut out from a small hole in the bottom

Dick reached his hand in to find the hiding spot of all the small notebook you had written in

He slowly flipped through the pages as he read the neat handwriting that you had

Alfred made a different kind of cookie today. I really like this kind

Jason and I watched a documentary on dinosaurs. The raptors seem the coolest

I glanced at the moon during patrol last night. It was the cresent phase. I think I like that one most

The more Dick looked through them, the more he realized you were distant because you were realizing things about yourself. You were figuring out years of information in such short time, you were probably getting overwhelmed with all this information you were learning

His eyes stop on one small bit you had written, his eyes softening as he kept rereading the words

Dick randomly started laughing today. It sounds nice

You had thought his laugh was nice? Dick didn't even think you paid attention to anything he had done while living in the manor

He kept flipping through each different notebook before he stop on the latest one you had written in

His fingers flipped through to the last pages, expecting to see words of anger and hatred on the paper before him

Dick's my soulmate. I felt my wrist burn when he yelled at me and I just knew without having to seeing what I said appear on my skin. I know I'm going to die tonight.

Dick swallowed the lump in his throat as he thought of what could have went through your mind the exact moment it happened. His fingers carefully flipping to the next page as he kept reading

I don't know what's going to happen with the mission tonight, but I know it's going to be my last. Who knows? Maybe I'll be careless just like Dick always said.

Tears began to form in his eyes as he remembered the confused look on your face after the fight had ended. You had died when everyone was supposed to have been okay and you were confused you were alive after the main fight

I hope to whatever type of god that is out there at Dick never finds these before someone else. I know he had every right to say those things, but I don't want him knowing that I knew I was going to be killed. I was an ass and was given nothing but patience from everyone else. I know he will figure out what we were when I die, but I hope that he doesn't blame himself for what will happen. He had no way of knowing just how much it had hurt to actually hear those words. I hope he lives his life like he always had before.

The tears spilled own his cheeks as he closed the book and held it to his head

Everything after that was just blank pages. You still had over half the pages to keep writing in

Dick felt broken as he took in the feeling you had written out clear as day

He had caused so much hurt in your life before even knowing you

His hands clenched around the cover as he allowed himself to cry. In all the realities of how the end could have happened, this was the worst

The was never a mutual understanding, no form of chemistry like he hoped, not even a split second meeting

All that was there was frustration and hurtful words that could never be taken back

But what hurt the most was that your words to him had never been more truthful compared to anything said to him. You didn't blame him for the anger or even lash back out at him

Because deep down, that was the person that you truly were despite everything

You understood

[fishsticksloser]

Can I uh request a uh-

Future Donnie x Reader where it's like they're trying to be sneaky about their relationship but everyone knows but likes playing a game of 'do they know that we know' or something like that idk how to describe it. Just for silly little haha-

Secret Secret

F!Donnie x gn!reader

Warnings: fluff, "secret" relationship, kissing, conspiracy, angst (in Leo's part)

A/N: This is so fun... I might have to make a bot based on it just for fun. The ending kinda sucks, but I like the rest of it.

You and Donnie had started dating, but both of you decided to keep quiet about it. Not ready for the Hamato family to find out about this. So you both agreed to keep it quiet. What neither of you knew was that everyone knew. While you two stayed friendly — maybe even a tad hostile since everyone believed Donnie didn't like you — in front of others, everyone still knew.

Mikey finding out:

Mikey had been walking down an empty hall, you were walking a ways in front of him. He saw someone reach out and pull you into a dark room. Mikey felt worried and went to see, but what he found shocked him.

Donnie had you in his arms, lips to yours. Mikey's eyes widen and he turned and left quickly. He was shocked. Truly. Mikey went to his other brothers, his father, April.

Should he say something? Should he tell them what he saw?

Mikey did. He told them all, but they all teased him. Donnie in a relationship? They honestly believed Donnie didn't like you, so they brushed it off. Still... Mikey knows what he saw.

Raph finding out:

Raph went to talk to Donnie, making his way to Donnie's lab. He didn't think much about it, just walking in. You were just leaving, but something about it was weird.

"Oh hi, Raph!" You say cheerfully as you leave. He saw marks on your neck. They looked fresh, like they'd just been put on your neck. Raph nodded and moved to Donnie's desk. The look on Donnie's face, the few marks on his neck as well.

Mikey was right.

April finding out:

She was going to Donnie's room to watch Jupiter Jim: Pluto Vacation 4 like they always did around this time of year. When she got to his room, he was already waiting. He had a new blanket, one that she'd only seen you use.

April was a little suspicious, but she decided not to say anything yet. She sat next to him after putting the movie in. She watched him in the corner of her eyes as she sees him snuggle into the blanket more.

She has a suspicion that Mikey was right.

Finally, Leo finding out:

Leo heard all about everyone else's run ins with the truth, but never believed it. Why? Donnie is his twin, he'd surely tell Leo, right? They always told each other stuff. Donnie was the first person Leo told about his crushes, his dates.

Yeah, Donnie and Leo argued a lot, butted heads a lot, but they're still twins. Donnie is still Leo's best friend, did Donnie not feel the same?

Leo wanted to go talk to Donnie about these rumors about you and his twin. He wanted to know that he was still close to Donnie. So he made his way to Donnie's lab. He stepped inside and froze before stepping back out and pressing his shell to the wall next to the lab's door, breathing heavily and really confused.

What he saw?

You and Donnie. That seems normal, right?

But Donnie picking you up? Donnie putting you on the desk while your hands slid down his natural shell?

Leo couldn't believe his eyes. He kind of wanted to erase what he just saw. He stood outside the lab for a little, trying to make sense of it. Trying to rationalize why Donnie hasn't told him.

Maybe it's new! Maybe you two just got together in the last hour or so and... Are currently making out in Donnie's lab. Which Donnie would never allow unless it's really serious.

So Mikey was right. You two were dating. And have been for at least 6 months now, but from what he saw, Leo believes it's been longer.

When you finally told the Hamato family:

You weren't there, having a patrol to do, but both of you had agreed to finally tell Donnie's family. Still a bit hesitant though since both of you knew everyone would lose their minds over it.

So at dinner one night, everyone was laughing and talking. Playing games and such with each other. Then Donnie just blurted it out, but no one really reacted.

"Um... Y/N and I are dating." He said again, a bit louder and really confused.

"Oh yeah, Dee. We all know already." Mikey smiles and pats Donnie's shoulder. The others laugh and smile, giving Donnie a small congrats.

That's it? Donnie thought. The most socially awkward brother has a partner and they somehow all know? No. We were careful. We made sure...

Donnie looked at his family and they all saw his face. His brothers paused and sighed. So they told Donnie how they all found out.

[horseb0y]

I really need to get this out of my system.

For the last eight months since October 7th happened, a lot of known transmasc/trasandrophobia blogs have been getting called out for their, at "best" apathy and at worst, pro-zionist stances. This isn't the only reason they've been in the spotlight, a lot of them have a long history of racism, transmisogyny, ableism, etc. But I'm only gonna focus on this specific topic.

A lot of posts tend to focus on one user at a time and some seem to imply it is just this specific user who holds problematic ideals. To that I say: no. It's not just one specific user. It's not just one rotten apple, it's the whole bunch.

This isn't hyperbole. Check any of their blogs and look for any Israel-Palestine posts and you'll notice a very similar pattern: lack of posts about Palestine; lukewarm takes; lots of post about anti-semitism; painting israelis as "good settlers"; equating anti-zionism to anti-semitism; always comparing the Israeli government actions' to those of Hamas; implying palestinians are all brainwashed by Hamas; bringing other on-going genocides (like Sudan or the DRC) out of spite; questioning others' Jewish identity for being pro-palestinian and many, many more.

Why do I know this? Because I used to follow most of these guy and saw their inaction and backhanded reblogs when the genocide "started" (it's been ongoing for 76 years, but just talking about October 7th specifically). It was like a slap on the face. Weren't this the same people who urged transmascs and non-transmascs alike to support and form solidarity with indigenous and POC causes? Weren't they the ones who criticized the lack of intersectionality in LGBTQ+ spaces and swore that our fight wouldn't be exclusionary? Weren't they the ones who motivated our voices to be heard?

Then, what happened? Isn't palestinian liberation part of our fight, something we should talk about loud and clear? Are the comfort of your friends more important than the lives of palestinians?

I do not want to imply that I expect perfection, that I expect them to be ideal role models or ideal activists. But I don't think I am putting a high bar when I question their positions on Palestinian liberation, self-determination, autonomy and humanity. We as a community should be able to get a clear answer, but we've received nothing but hostility. These people uphold each other closely; even if they aren't friends, they share the same space when they talk about transmasc issues. Some of them have said absolutely horrendous shit, and none of their acquaintances said anything in favor or against it.

You aren't responsible for what your friend/acquaintance says or does, but it's questionable when y'all have been shown to have similar attitudes towards this cause. It's very telling.

So what am I getting with all of this?

When I say the whole bunch is spoiled, I say it so that y'all be more critical to their words and actions (or lack there of). You can't just go back as if anything never happened and gleefully reblog everything from them, simply because you agree on some topics. Remember, their politics are intersectional but their attitudes are showing the opposite; you can't fully divorce their zionist beliefs from their transmasc theory, because it needs the exclusion of palestinian men, palestinian queers and palestinian transmascs (and arab people as a whole) for it to exist.

When we keep sharing everything their posts, we're giving weight to their words. We should question who do we uphold and how their opinions on certain topics affect how we value each other as a community and how others outside of it perceive us. What is it in their words that make it more "worthy" than others?

I feel the transmasc community on Tumblr has been needing of more critical and/or fresh voices within our community for a while, with new perspectives and ambitions to bring to the table if we really want to consolidate as a strong movement. I've been seeing many who have felt the same amount of frustration and disappointment; some have left the community. I hope we can learn and change for the better. I urge y'all to fight for a free Palestine.

[blackthoughtsbyhfil]

I've never understood the concept of everlasting friendship; I'm on my fifth or sixth generation of friends. When I hear about people retaining their childhood friendships into adult life, I assume it's an abnormality. Anyone will tell you that drifting apart is natural. At the same time, it's absolutely bewildering.

I had two friends that I met in elementary school. We were inseparable until we were separated. Losing those friendships was an experience I couldn't understand, and for a long time afterwards also couldn't accept. The only thing I'm curious about now is what it was that I sought from those friends.

One was a much more consistent friendship than the other, but it also didn't last long after we went on to different schools in seventh grade. I also didn't feel close to him. Our activities were centered around Playstation and role-play pretending (often as a substitute when we couldn't play Playstation). When we wasn't looking, I was rude and mildly abusive towards his cat. Having grown up around cats and being very loving of them, there must have been a clear, undeveloped hostility towards my friend that was more urgent to act on than my instinct to be kind to animals. He had divorced parents, less siblings than me, a smaller house than ours and less video games.

Unlike with him, I was earnestly affectionate towards my other friend. He was a more volatile boy who led me into a very mild degree of mischief (we once went so far as to ring the doorbell of an unknown person and run away). Our friendship was less continuous. He once made friends with my rival, and though I didn't try to get between them, my rival must have convinced him to desert me, as for some time we didn't meet as friends any longer.

One of our favorite activities was to talk trash about my other friend. They weren't friends directly but only through me. This drove me further from my other friend and closer to him. Our favorite activity when we weren't playing Playstation was to explore our local area where we hadn't ventured much within the range of roughly a kilometer. The independence that came with growing up finally inspired us to broaden our horizons - although we never even went halfway to the next subway station - and occasionally sneak into other apartment buildings. This urge remains to this day.

We continued on to the same school in seventh grade, but during that year his family moved away and he switched schools. We saw each other once after that, but then he stopped responding to even my chat messages. A couple of years later in the second year of high school, I found his MySpace account and reached out to him, but I never received a reply.

That's life. We were all well past our peak as friends by that time. Our growth together as companions was not focused so much on expanding our worlds and bettering ourselves, but more one reflecting back on our own selves. I wanted to experience other people's lives only to put it in relation to my own. We gladly played video games together - mainly Tekken and SSX - but when I had the choice I was happy to neglect the both of them and immerse myself privately in one of the Final Fantasies; the occasion on that afternoon after the end of the school year in fifth grade when I closed the blinds in my room on that incredible summer day and played VII was one of the happiest memories of my childhood. Although I feel supremely nostalgic about some of those early days together - going over to JB's house on Monday mornings when we had the late school start, or throwing packages of chocolate milk down the stairwell together with VN to explode them on the bottom floor of JB's apartment building - when we grew up and entered fourth and fifth grades, and I began to seek newer connections in life, my existing friends ultimately couldn't join me in that journey.

[atleast8courics]

Uh oh time for a lore dump. TL;DR at the top because I'm a kind human: 196 is merely a continuation of 195, itself originally being a college house number for a group of roommates.

So, 195 was the college house number of a group of roommates who made the 195 subreddit so they had somewhere to send goofy pictures to each other. The only rule (other than site-wide rules) was "if you visit this subreddit, you must post before you leave." It didn't matter what. It could have been a simple picture of your plate of food. I saw lots of mile marker signs with 195 on them. It always seemed to elicit a laugh, no matter how esoteric.

Anyway, they were pretty openly hostile to bigots, so it lead to one of them getting doxxed. Another got scared and quit reddit after that incident. A third basically stopped using reddit altogether as they moved on from college. The last one is still on reddit but doesn't comment often. It led to the original doxxed guy dealing with the sub on his own, constantly being barraged by people saying and sending awful things to harass him. After time he just got tired of it. With the admins jumping down his throat to clean up the nonsense combined with his life getting busier and busier, he closed it.

It was basically the very next day I and a ton of other people migrated over to 196 to continue the same kind of space because the 195 "community" had grown to a huge number of subscribers as well as being a pretty good place for shitposts that weren't the worst memes you've ever seen in your life.

196 already existed but was an empty space that sat dormant for years up to this point. We jokingly celebrated the sub's 10 year anniversary despite only using it for two at this point. Anyway, the original head mod added one guy as a mod. I offered a helping hand and was also made a mod. We collected a small team of people, some of which have since also left, who also wanted to keep the space free of bigoted nonsense. I became the defacto head mod (and later actual head mod after the two above me vacated) just because of the sheer volume of posts I was removing and people I was banning. There's a few of the mods on tumblr alongside me, and if they see this I'm sure they'll pretty freely tell you just how ridiculous my output is.

We opened a pretty thriving discord server that's loosely affiliated (the admin is a sub mod) and even have spin off versions of the sub, both ran by our mod team. 19684 has the same rule, but hornyposting/sex mentions aren't allowed, and 169 has a bot that will instead ban you for a random amount of time after posting.

can someone please explain to me what happened to reddit and why all the redditors are moving here i am so lost-/genq

[doomednarrative]

hiiii I might be known as the jigsquad ask guy but I wanna say first of all I LOVE your art second of all politely asking for your mark and Mandy thoughts if you have em have a nice day!!

Well first off!! Thank you, I'm glad you love my art!! Saw has awoken the fuckin creative beast in me that spent the last two years being dormant, it's been really nice to get back into the swing of things honestly and see other folks enjoying the work I do again~

THAT SAID, LETS TALK ABOUT MY FAVORITE SHITTY DUO BECAUSE YOU'VE ENABLED ME!

The caption on this little doodle pretty much sums it up how I feel about them honestly, but I Will go into detail since you asked so nicely for my thoughts: (This got REALLY LONG so I'm putting it under a read more)

I'll be real, I've been ill over Hoffman and Amanda's dynamic and what the hell their relationship might have been like since the first time I watched Saw V. Realizing that they both were vying for the spot of taking over the Jigsaw title once John inevitably died had me going insane, and it's because of how Different yet Similar they both are. From the very little bit of canon interaction we get with the two of them, it's fairly clear that there's a lot of open hostility there between them, and it's completely understandable why. Hoffman is a cop and a fuckin asshole to boot who clearly enjoys the level of violence that working with John allows him. Amanda meanwhile is a recovering addict who has a lot of mental health issues and was treated poorly by the legal system before. John putting these two together was honestly a recipe for disaster from the start.

And yet...they did have so many traps that went off pretty well with Both of them working on them behind the scenes. And so it begs the question of what the hell their dynamic actually was besides the little bit that we saw. It had to be Somewhat functional enough for this stuff to work as long as it did.

In a more canon compliant sense, I think for the most part they were very begrudging coworkers who probably made things purposefully harder on each other (Amanda micromanaging Hoffman's work comes to mind for me personally, sometimes stealing his tools for her own use whenever he's around too just to piss him off) but that also somehow had a bit of a working groove they got into when push came to shove. Hoffman, despite being the weaker of the two of them when it comes to engineering knowledge, did actually know enough to put together his own trap without anyone's help (which is a fact some people seem to forget.) So I feel like he and Amanda both learned enough from John + whatever knowledge Amanda already had for herself to be able to have a bit of back and forth on how to do things. John's the ultimate authority of course, but I don't think any of their traps would have gone off as smoothly, especially when John's health was physically failing, if they weren't able to put away the hostility long enough to work together.

Staying with canon compliance however, obviously somewhere along the way this fell apart come time for Jeff's test. By that time, I think Hoffman's ego had gotten the better of him, he'd basically shed whatever personal feelings he might have had about their work entirely (courtesy of John's encouragement I might add), and all he has in mind is being the one to take up the title and use it for his own violent ends with no one to stop him. Meanwhile Amanda is preoccupied with John’s physical health failing and her own tumultuous feelings about how much his ways and work are actually helping people, so she’s got her own things going on and doesn’t see the danger coming until it’s too late. We all know how it goes; Hoffman blackmails her with the info about her involvement in Jill’s miscarriage, and as a result Amanda kills Lynn and gets herself and John killed as well, and this leaves Hoffman as last man standing. Whatever semblance of a relationship they might have had is gone for good, and I don’t think canonically Hoffman cares that it’s gone. He got what he wanted and now he's (supposedly) free to do as he pleases while taking on the title for himself, and that’s that. 

But of course, insanity begs me to think about other routes, and so I do indeed have Jigsquad related ideas for Mark and Mandy too. 

In that situation I do think they’d be a little more like shitty siblings who do shit on purpose to annoy the hell out of the other, but do also care on Some level about each other, even if they’re horrible at showing it. 

Hoffman is. Woefully emotionally unintelligent at the best of times tbh. Both as a result of John’s bullshit (which. I’ll go into that in another post sometime too trust me) but also just because it’s not his strongpoint. Amanda isn’t exactly the best at it either, but I think she at least is more Aware of things than Hoffman is. When it comes to the two of them tho, I think they kinda have some unspoken agreement in the Jigsquad timeline that if they see the other feeling shitty, they go grab food together/for the other. Amanda will perpetually forget something from Hoffman’s order if she asks what he wants on purpose, but neither of them care enough to make a big deal out of it on those nights honestly. 

I don’t think it’s something they would ever really have Deep Talk about specifically, but as Hoffman’s obviously aware of Amanda’s issues with self harm, I would think she probably found out at some point about the drinking issues from losing his sister that Hoffman had, and so while they’re both shitty to each other about a lot of things, eventually they come to an unspoken agreement not to touch on that stuff specifically. It’s a sore spot whether Hoffman will admit it or not considering its half of what led to him going after Seth and therefore John blackmailing him into the Jigsaw work in the first place, and obviously Amanda struggles with her own mental health on the regular, so they've just decided to stick to less personally offensive things to get under each others skin about in this timeline. Doesnt mean they dont fuck up occasionally, but there’s at least some sort of effort being put in there. 

Less serious but they both absolutely know the other is gay and Will make dickhead comments about each other’s taste. Amanda gets on Hoffman’s case constantly for whatever he has going on with Strahm (even if he doesn’t realize they Have something for awhile) and tells him he could do better than to do shit with the guy who’s trying to bust them all. This does nothing of course in the long run but it’s still funny to think about. 

Overall in the Jigsquad universe they are still like. Woefully dysfunctional compared to your normal sibling relationship but it’s at least marginally better in the fact that they’re not trying to kill each other and there’s a little bit of effort being made to not constantly fuck things up further between the two of them, and that’s the ideal dynamic I’d have loved to see for them in a better universe anyways. 

This got REALLY long but to be fair you did ask! that’s all my thoughts I have atm but rest assured I will have more in the future, I’ve just exhausted my words on them for the night is all~ 

[jediken0bi]

Boundaries

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary:

When JJ makes an offhand comment about Spencer not being particularly fond of physical touch to his girlfriend it causes a bit of a misunderstanding.

word count: 3180

-

Ever since you and Spencer decided to ditch your colleagues for the third time in a row to watch Doctor Who at his place instead, which resulted in him awkwardly admitted to liking you at the end of the night, you two have been practically inseparable. You knew that Spencer was shy when it comes to physical affection from the start but you also knew that a huge part of it was the lack of said affection throughout his life.

Often times he looks surprised when you hug him or kiss him with no particular reason in mind other than that you wanted to.

It's like he's used to only experiencing soft touches in the context of challenging and heartbreaking events happening to him.

You were set on changing that. You're going to make up for all the people who have failed to treat him with the love he deserves.

So far he hasn't stopped you from trying either. You cuddle him every chance you get, you kiss him whenever the opportunity presents itself and the environment allows it, you hold his hand while you're on the jet. You make sure Spencer is on board for all of this though.

You always ask him if he's okay with it before. The last thing you want is for Spencer to feel uncomfortable with you.

He's never denied you though and your question is always received with a big smile on his face.

Despite being very responsive to your touches Spencer doesn't allow himself to outright ask for them. Your best guess is that it comes from a long line of people denying him these simple pleasures. The thought breaks your heart.

You two were in the elevator on your way to meet the rest of the team in the bullpen when it all sort of went south.

You were holding hands with Spencer and he subconsciously squeezes your hand a little once the doors open. You give him a smile and lean up to press a small kiss to his cheek.

He immediately turns bright red and you giggle. He's given up on asking you for their reasons. He's starting to accept that you like kissing him and that's reason enough.

He grins at you and you let go of your grip on his hand. You both walk to your respective desks and stuff your go bags under them.

Before you can make your way back to Spencer you spot JJ across the room seemingly headed straight to your desk.

You know JJ is Spencers best friend and while you admittedly had a hard time accepting that your boyfriends best friend was a woman he used to have a crush on, you decided that you had absolutely no reason not to trust Spencer. He was happy with you and JJ was married with kids after all. Hell, Spence is their godfather. There's no need to worry about either of them having feelings for the other. You're sure of it"

Plus, you really like JJ. She was the hardest to win over simply because she and Spencer were so close but she never treated you with hostility. She was kind and respectful but kept you at distance until she was sure you were right for Spencer. You would've been upset if you weren't so happy someone was looking out for him after all.

"Good morning JJ" you greet her happily.

It really had been a good morning.

You and Spencer woke up earlier than usual to eat breakfast together. He made you pancakes!

Or, at least he tried. They were a bit burned but you told him that they were the best pancakes you have ever had. And you meant it.

He, of course, turned bright red and refused to take the compliment so you shut him up with a kiss.

A kiss that said 'Thank you for making me breakfast. I love you and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life eating burned pancakes with you'.

"Hey Y/N i was wondering if you had a minute to talk. About Spence." JJ approached you with a certain worry in her eyes that immediately unsettled you.

"What do you mean? Did something happen? I just saw him a minute ago and he seemed fine" You say nervously. Was there something you overlooked?

You make a mental note to go through the events of this morning again.

"No, he's fine! It's not that. I just wanted to talk to you about how it's going with Spencer. You know, being a couple and all"

JJ seemed almost nervous.

You weren't sure what to think about that.

She never dug around in your business before and you don't think she's got any malicious intentions but it does throw you off a little bit.

"Did you have something specific in mind? We're doing great, JJ. I know you worry about him but i think he's happy with me"

You say proudly because you know he is.

He tells you every night when you two settle down to lie in each others arms to read for a bit.

That's code for Spencer reading to you while laying his head on your stomach and you playing with his hair.

You smile at the memory.

"Uh yeah i guess i do. I just don't want you to think of this as something personal but i think as his best friend i owe it to Spencer to talk to you about it"

She looks down at her feet seemingly uncomfortable but willing to go through with this.

You were shocked to say the least. What could she possibly have in mind that would potentially hurt your feelings? Your mind goes to the worst possible scenarios and it's giving you a good bit of anxiety.

JJ seems to spot the look on your face and grabs your hands.

"No, no, no it's nothing bad per se! Just something you should be aware of to avoid misunderstandings"

You let out a small breath and calm down a bit. You're still confused though. If it's so urgent, why wouldn't Spencer tell you himself?

You were curious though.

"Okay so what is this about then?"

JJ looks at you with a bit of pity in her eyes and you immediately decide you hate that look.

"It's just that, you know, Spence is a bit of a germaphobe and he just doesn't do very well with people invading his personal space. Not that you're invading his space! Gosh no, you're his girlfriend after all. It's just that it seems like he might be a bit overwhelmed. I know it's non of my business, but i think he's trying to be okay with the PDA because it's something you want. I'm all for expanding your comfort zones but i'm afraid Spence is not going to tell you himself"

She finishes her nervous rant and you felt your heart sinking.

Is that why he never asks for your touch? You thought it was because he was shy but maybe it's because it makes him uncomfortable.

Was he trying to protect your feelings by not denying you touch whenever you asked?

Or worse, did he think you would leave him if he put up some boundaries?

Your eyes are filled with unshed tears and you look down at your feet out of embarrassment. You don't want to see the look on JJ's face right now. You're humiliated and honestly just upset Spencer wasn't telling you all this himself.

"Oh. Well, i'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought we were okay but i'll make an effort to turn it down. Thanks JJ"

It's clear she wanted to say something in return but you already turned away from her to flee the scene. It was overwhelming and you didn't want her to see you cry over this.

You went to the only place you knew you could feel freely without having to downplay the whole thing.

Penelopes Office.

You knock twice at her door.

"Hey Pen, can i come in? Are you busy?"

She immediately opens the door and with it, her arms.

"Never too busy for you honey bun!"

You give her a sad smile and hug her tightly.

You sniffle a little and she closes the door behind you two.

"What's wrong Y/N? Did Spencer do anything? I'll kill him for you. I have about twenty seven different ways that would make it look like an accident! Perks of working for the FBI"

This actually makes you laugh and you immediately know you've made the right call coming to Garcia.

"It's more about what he didn't do. Pen, am i a bad girlfriend?"

She grabs your shoulders and pushes you out of her embrace to look at you.

"What? How could you possibly think that? Boy Wonder has never been happier and i've known the kid for a solid couple of years!"

You look down again with an empty smile

"Then why would he send JJ to tell me all about how uncomfortable i make him?"

Okay so maybe you were being a bit dramatic but it feels like he broke your trust by talking to JJ about it before talking to you. At least, you assume he did. Why else would she bring this up?

"He did what? Are you sure?"

You raise your arms in a frustrated manner.

"I don't know Penny all i know is that JJ had some thoughts on how to be in a relationship with Spence!"

Garcia looked shocked and it makes you laugh.

"Yeah, that was my initial reaction too"

She shakes herself out of it.

"Did you talk to Spencer about what he thinks?"

You look at her with sheepish eyes.

"I don't want to yet. I'm upset with him and honestly a little embarrassed. I just wish he would've told me certain things himself. I think i'm going to take a sick day, okay? Can you let Hotch know i'm out for today?"

She looks at you with understanding eyes and gives you a nod.

"Of course, Bunny. Take care. And don't forget that Spencer loves you!"

You smile and give her a nod in return.

"Yeah, i know"

And with that you're out the door and on your way to grab your bag from your desk.

Of course you end up running into the one person you don't want to talk to right now.

Spencer looks at you with a small smile and you give him one back. Admittedly, yours looks a bit forced but you don't have the energy to pretend right now.

"What are you doing?" He asks innocently. He must be unaware of your conversation with JJ.

"I- Uh i'm taking a sick day. I'm not feeling so well"

You try to avoid eye contact but you fail to ignore Spencers worried expression in your peripheral vision.

"Are you okay? Was it the breakfast? I told you you shouldn't have eaten the pancakes!"

He sounds so distressed you can't help but laugh.

You were still mad at him but he was just too cute for his own good.

Out of habit you raise your hand to plant it on the nape of his neck where you usually toy with his hair before kissing him.

Just as you were about to put your hand on him you shake yourself out of it and retreat it.

He looks at you with confused eyes.

"What's wrong?"

He asks you with sad eyes. He's giving you completely mixed signals and it's driving you insane. Did he suddenly want you to touch him?

"Nothing. I just- I'm really tired"

You look down at your bag and pick it up to make your way out of there.

Spencer grabs your hand and it causes you to stop in your tracks. You breath in and out and turn around to look at him once again.

"Are- I mean are you leaving now?"

He looks at you with an embarrassed glint in his eyes. But there's something more to it. He looks hopeful. Like he's expecting something.

Maybe he's waiting for you to kiss him goodbye like you always do says a small voice on the back of your head.

No, you shake your head, JJ was perfectly clear about these things.

"Yeah, i am. See you later okay?"

You say with a small smile. You weren't mad at him for not being comfortable with PDA. That's not it at all. You just wanted him to be the one telling you.

You squeeze his hand and he exhales a little.

"Yes! Yeah, um, we're still on for tonight right? Your place?"

He seems so nervous and it reminds you a lot of the first few dates you two had. He was so afraid of messing up, of being laughed at or rejected.

"Of course we are. I'll order us some Chinese"

You give him a real smile and he starts lighting up as well.

"Yeah i'd like that. See you, uh, tonight then"

He's still holding your hand and you squeeze it one more time before letting go.

As you step into the elevator you know that you two have a lot to talk about.

--timeskip approx. 8h--

You've spend all day trying to figure out how to talk to Spencer about what happened at work today. You didn't want to fight with him and you hope he's not going to try and shut you out.

All your worries pretty much wash away when you find Spencer at your door holding a beautiful arrangement of flowers.

When he finally reveals himself behind them you can't help but drag him inside and press a kiss to his lips. You smile into the kiss and it's not long before Spencer does the same. It's harder than it sounds like but you two aren't willing to separate yet so you keep kissing for a little longer before leaning back to accept the arrangement.

"Thank you, Spence. They're beautiful"

You push the curls out of his face and cup his cheek in your hand.

He leans into it and closes his eyes for a second

"Almost as beautiful as you"

It's barely a whisper but you heard him.

Putting the flowers down on the counter you don't waste a single second hugging him tight to your chest.

He hums in contentment and you melt into him.

You've missed him so much today. You weren't used to being at distance with him. Emotionally or physically.

Speaking of.

"Does that mean we're okay again?"

Spencer asks pressing small kisses to your neck.

You shutter slightly before leaning back to look at him.

"What do you mean? Were we not okay before?"

You brush the curls that have fallen back into his eyes away again and he looks at you with wide loving eyes.

"I don't know i thought we were but then you didn't- um i don't know you just left and i thought maybe i had done something to upset you?"

He looks nervous. Almost like he's afraid he's going to say something wrong. You give him a small sad smile and decide that now is as good of a time as ever.

"I didn't kiss you because i know you're not comfortable with that"

You weren't mad anymore. You had enough time to process what happened and you've come to the conclusion that Spencer must've had his reasons. You're willing to let him explain.

He on the other hand looks at you like you've grown a second head.

"What? No i- why would you think that?"

You huff out a breath and look at him for a moment with raised eyebrows. You really thought he was going to tell you now. Is he waiting for you to say it?

Spencer looked genuinely confused and upset you would even suggest such a thing. It makes you wonder if he talked to JJ at all.

"Look, JJ came to talk to me today and cleared some things up and honestly i'm not upset about what she said. Not really. I'm upset i had to find out from someone who wasn't you. You could've told me. You should have told me actually"

This didn't do anything to wipe off Spencers confused expression. If anything, his frown just got deeper.

"Y/N i seriously don't know what you're talking about. I haven't talked to JJ this week"

Now it's your turn to frown. Did he not know? Was it really just JJ making assumptions that weren't true?

"But she said- No it doesn't matter what she said. What matters is that i want you to tell me, right now, if my affections make you uncomfortable in any shape of form. It's okay if they do Spence! I know i'm a lot but it's important we're both okay with what's happening between us"

He stares at you with a mix of adoration and confusion.

"Of course i'm not uncomfortable with you! I would tell you if i was. It's not even like you're doing any of it without checking with me first! Why would i lie to you?"

You let out a frustrated huff.

"Because you don't wanna hurt my feelings! But it's okay. We're equals and we can set up boundaries if you want. All that matters to me is that you won't shut me out"

Spencer smiles at you and it confuses you. Why the sudden mood change? Not that you're complaining. His smile always did manage to make you feel better. This time is no exception.

He grabs your hands and pulls you closer again.

This is new. Not the hand holding, but the fact that Spencer is the one initiating it.

"I promise you i have never been more comfortable with a person. I don't know what JJ told you and i'm definitely going to have a talk with her about boundaries but as far as we go, i'm more than happy with where and what we are"

You give him a small laugh and he joins in.

You wrap your arms around his middle and bury your head in his chest.

"So you're okay with me kissing you or touching you in general? In front of the team"

He presses a small kiss to the top of your head.

"More than okay" He whispers

You smile and lift your head to give him a proper kiss. He grabs the side of your head and pulls you even closer.

Lips just millimeters apart you look him in the eyes and find nothing but love in them.

"Also, next time you leave work without kissing me goodbye i'll make a scene. No hesitation"

You laugh loudly and push him away. He playfully stumbles back a couple of steps and laughs with you. He shrugs his shoulders

"Try me"

You lean your head on his shoulder.

You don't even know what you were worried about anymore. Spencer has a way to make all the problems seem to minuscule. You can confidently say you've never been happier.

[poltoreveur]

We Eventually Faded

Pairing : Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary : Sexuality was never the matter in your relationship, but it started to become a problem when Remus had something else to pursue.

Warning : Cheating.

Words count : 1,5k+

A/N : I just randomly started writing and it lead to this. What is with me and writing sad stories.

The gif is not mine. Credits to the owner.

Remus never appreciated how warm you were until he was gone away for the first time and he couldn't buried face into the soft hollow of your neck.

You are the limelight, the light in his otherwise dreary day, and he'll never be able how to articulate how thankful he was for you. 

Especially during moments like this.

It was the school’s winter break, with Sirius still crashing the Potter’s resident and Peter doing his own things ━ Remus decided to spend the holidays with you.

But ever since he had arrived, he had acted hostile towards you. 

Not muttering a sentence unless it was necessarily, skipping meals and you barely seen him around the manor.

Though this had already been going on even before the school break.

The day he came out as bisexual to the group and came forward about the two of you having a relationship, everyone was absolutely thrilled.

You were the most proudest person besides Remus, that he was finally starting to feel comfortable in his own skin and was truly being himself.

But that happy moment didn’t go without a cost.

You accidentally found him and Sirius in the library, being much more friendlier than they usually were.

At first you didn't question it, because they were already friends before the two of you were a couple but it wasn’t until the day you saw them kissing each other at their usual spot in the library when you couldn’t stand to turn another blind eye.

Since then, your school day were usually content with studying, avoiding each other in the morning until night came then the screaming and fighting come in, but in the end the two of you would always make up and ended up sleeping on Remus’ bed before you go back to same routine again.

So when the time Remus asked if he could stay with you for the holidays, you were staggered with his request.

Not only you both had not been seeing each other for the past few days, the rumours of him and Sirius cheating and having a secret relationship behind your back, hurt you, it wasn’t because the minor gossip ━ it was because you knew that it’s true.

Staying in your room and in opposite wing during his stay was the best idea you had, giving that your parents were off visiting the family for the holidays.

Your bedroom was dark despite the early hour, but you didn't complain when he came in; exhausted and in desperate need for comfort. 

He couldn't tell you the exact reason why his day had turned out so shitty, yet you turned off the TV and put down the remote all the same.

Early that morning, you saw him in the yard.

He was trying to plant your roses but he got frustrated, he toss the shovel across the garden, he then continued to shoved the flowers off the table and with rage ━ he stomped on it, leaving the roses flat on the ground.

You were watching from the window, but you didn’t bother to check on him, knowing he doesn’t want you to help to fix his own mess.

Now, as he listened to the gentle sound of your breathing, he could feel the stress rolling more and more his shoulders in waves.

This isn't what he needed; a night in with questions, platitudes, anger or rage.

You were definitely concerned and confused, he was so agitated, you haven't seen this way since ever.

The last time he was so nervous was coming out to his friends and it doesn't even compared to how he was acting now.

You could feel his nervousness and as you tried to calm him down ━ placing a hand onto his shoulder, he pushes it away before letting out a big sigh.

"I think we should cut ties here." 

It was the first thing Remus told you after entering your room for the first time after two weeks of staying there, and the first thing he had said in a long time where you knew he really meant it.

Over the pass few weeks, you knew his love, his care and all of his affection, even his touch didn’t felt or even belong to you, like it used to.

It was longing someone else.

You saw this coming, you really did. 

From a thousand miles away, it was inevitable but it still hurt though nonetheless.

Even with the two of you not being your best lately, you wanted to ask him what made him do it. What started this whole mess in the first the place. If you had something to do with him falling out of love with you and in with Sirius.

You wanted to know what wasn't cutting it anymore.

Was it the late night letters which in neither of you were all that conscious about, or was it the act of being alright to the rest of the world when the both of you knew that you weren't really happy anymore; maybe it was the apologising, convincing yourselves how the both of you truly love each other, only to fight the next day and come back with a heavy heart?

Was it the non-stop dating rumours, or the fact that he couldn't tell the world that he was longing someone else without it sounding heartless, but you think it was a little too late for that.

You felt as if, the day he started to feel comfortable with himself, was the day you started dejecting yourself.

Maybe you were the reason that he resulted to move on when you were paying less attention to him as he started to get from someone else.

In your head, you had begged Remus to stay and he said yes.

In your head, you replayed all the memories of the two of you for him to see, all of the happy moments and the heart wrenching ones as well.

In your head, you had fixed everything.

Everything was fine.

The silence on your end stretched on for years and years until you found it in yourself to muster up the courage to reply.

"Alright."

"If that's what's best, then let's end things here."

You didn't let him show any tears falling down in your side of the end. Neither do you let him hear any signs of pain or hurt in your voice.

In that exact moment, to you the Remus Lupin you knew, is gone. 

Slipped away through your fingers and you don't even know the person who was standing right in-front of you.

"Okay then. I'd be leaving in that case. I’ll pack my things and I’ll get a train to James’ place.”

James' place.

You knew why he was heading there, and yet you didn’t question him.

He walked out of the door, and when he did, tears slipped through your eyes. You quickly wiped it away and took in a big breath before letting it all out.

The clock in your room was ticking loudly. Minutes went by before you heard your front door close. 

When your front door closes, you knew Remus’ heart did too.

As you sat on your bed, thinking about what had just happened. You couldn't remember the boy you completely fallen in love with.

The boy you fell your head over heels for.

Then your mind quickly wandered around in your head. You thought to yourself, if your relationship with Remus was based completely on this mysterious hunger of having somebody by your side; in your bed.

Was he really your soulmate, as you thought in the beginning when you would pull an all-nighter, pretending to study even if you knew it was only an excuse to see him? Or maybe only your bodies were meant to be together. Nothing more less or so.

You still can't figure out the answer.

You and Remus were friends ever since the year he noticed you having a struggle with one of the bowtruckle during Cares of Magical Creatures. And you cared for him, yes, and you have never felt the way you felt with him with anyone else.

His sexuality never mattered when the two of you secretly started your relationship and then he came out to you that night too.

Remus was your fresh breath, he made you feel alive, wanted and wanting.

Thinking back about the relationship, you both knew it was a risk.

A risk of friendship. A risk of loving. A risk of aching. A risk of being in a real committed relationship.

Everything was at risk; at stake when you're with Remus.

And in the end, it was a risk that was not worth taking.

As you collapse down onto your bed, letting your back make contact with your sheets ━ you were left there wondering that exact question.

Risking everything to be with Remus.

So why did you took it?

[thetiredstuff]

Jensen saw meisha comming - did the face by saying that he hoped it will be jared... He literally was akward bc he knew it was meisha... This is how you queerbaited yourself into that sick non existend ship

Hi anon! sorry was all out of spoons to reply earlier but i'm here now so let's get to it because so much to unpack!

Okay: must be absolutely awful to be so miserable that you have to spend your time leaving nasty anons to people that don't even interact with you. I have the majority of you guys blocked, and I am extremely careful with tagging anything so that you guys don't see my negativity in your beloved tags.

You literally sought me out to be annoying for no reason other than spreading your own misery. What a sad existence that must be.

There is a mountain of evidence that says that things are not going well between j2 which i'm guessing is why you're here trying to placate your feelings by idk trying to stomp on my happy ones? Which, I am so sorry for you, are (again) unfortunately for you, not working because I just find this very funny.

When I started watching SPN and started watching bloopers, interviews, and panels, I wasn't on Tumblr in the beginning. I had not idea about any of these ships and what antis were and all the hostility that is in this fandom.

And my very first panel I ever watched about SPN was the 2017 jibcon panel of Jensen and Misha after YouTube recommended it to me after watching a blooper. And I didn't know a thing about these guys, I think I either just saw Cas or he still had to be introduced. Anyway, I remember thinking, after watching that full panel (which is truly a delight I recommend watching if you haven't) that while I don't like to use "gay" as a the descriptive noun because it always feels very sterotypical and prejudice and just wrong, this panel seemed very gay to me because they literally showed their underwear. to one another. on stage.

At the very least they seemed like they genuinely liked one another, and that was after having watched one panel almost four years ago.

And while I didn't fully bought into the J2 fallout theory, it would be remiss of me to still deny it when the evidence is literally a mountain high. I could add some photos etc. not to mention the whole social media meltdown of jp but we both know that you would then come up with pictures of Misha and Jensen where "Jensen was annoyed". Potato, Potatoe except, ya know, one lived with the other during the last three years of SPN ... after the J2 fallout theory started circling around.

But "J/2 lived together as well!" Yup, you're absolutely right! Never claimed they weren't friends. In fact, I very much bought into their friendship and brothers united act, although (laying all cards on the table) I never liked jp from the beginning because I very quickly caught up to his numerous tweets and posts that doxxed people on social media and that is something that I find absolutely appalling no matter who you are. But besides that, I bought into the friendship ... until around beginning of 2018 when Danneel and Gen hadn't posted about one another or shared a photo of each other for a while even though they normally were very consistent with that.

And eventually it all just kinda came crumbling down and then jp had a huge "Et tu Brute?" meltdown on Twitter, which is again appalling behavior towards a former coworker/friend.

It's been a long time coming, jp's awful behavior with no consequences whatsoever. But I'm a big believer in karma, what goes around comes around. It'll take a while but it'll happen eventually, and I believe that enough people who have been close to him for years are sick of it. Most of all Jensen so it seems.

In all truth, if Misha and Jensen aren't friends: so be it. It would be unfortunate because I always like it when actors who work together are also friends, but it is what it is. But at least Jensen isn't actively fed up with Misha. You'll claim otherwise, totally fine but seems like Jensen has had enough of jp's appalling behavior, which should have been confronted way sooner.

As for your queerbaiting comment: there were a bunch of LGBTQ+ writers on this show who queerCODED the text and SUBtext. But you'll wave that away. Cas literally confessed to Dean that he loved him. By that definition alone we were in fact not queerbaited because Cas came out as queer.

Besides that: it is also very weird and appalling behavior to take pleasure in people, of whom a lot are part of the LGBTQ+ community, being queerbaited when queerbaiting is a disgusting thing. And we should all, no matter who you ship or love, be appalled whenever a network, movie, series, studio, decides to queerbait.

While you make fun of us for having been "queerbaited" (although that literally did not happen: as in Cas is literally queer and Dean had a ton of queercoding for his bisexuality), it says more about who you are as a person:

You may call yourself an ally of the LGBTQ+ community, but no ally would ever take pleasure in someone else being even potentially queerbaited.

[tinysushimark]

My Everything (HRJ)

1.7k words. (Fluff)

Sometimes you wished you could run away from college and then run a café and live with your boyfriend.

You looked up at him, he was playing on his phone, why was he so relaxed? He has finals too next week. "Renjun! Don't you have to study?" You said.

"I'm done with my course." He said looking back down at his phone.

You sighed, he was always one step ahead of you, even when you were in school he used to teach you things because he was done. Now, even in college he was done before you. Even though you had different majors, you had the same college and fortunately, your classes took place in the same building.

A sigh escaped from your lips as you looked at the amount of chapters left. "What's wrong baby?" Renjun said, sitting next to you.

"I have 3 more chapters left, and exams are next week." You said. "Anything i can help with?" At this you snickered.

"Babe you're an arts major, how are you going to help me with Company Law?" You smiled and looked down.

"I am smart." He said.  "I never said you're dumb."

He stood behind your chair and started massaging your shoulders and neck. "Renjun what the-" He shushed you. "Get back to work." He kept massaging your shoulders.

"Renjun stop. That fucking hurts."

"You're stressed it's all pent up-"

"I told you to fucking stop it." You shouted at him, shooting a death glare.

"Why are you being so mean? I'm just trying to help." Renjun spat at you.

"You're clearly not helping, so how about you leave? You're just adding on to my stress with your completed course." You shouted at him.

He picked his bag up and slammed the door on his way out, making you flinch a little.

Asshole, that's the only word that came to your head once he left. His temper is very very short. Sometimes you wondered why you dated him and got annoyed at him. You had noticed how nowadays, the way he dealt with you had started changing.

He'd shout and slam doors. He never did that before but he was doing it nowadays. He is definitely bored of you and wants to break up with you, this is what you thought.

He on the other hand was very stressed, it wasn't about studies, it was about his family. After he left for college, he got to know about the fights which happened back at home. His mom and dad were fighting a lot more than when he was back at home. It had driven him off the edge that he wasn't there to stop his parents. He was an only child, so he'd end up persuading them to stop fighting, but he couldn't do it from here, in college. The only person who'd listen to him was getting annoyed at him too, you. He thought that he was the problem, probably everyone around him has problems because of him.

You weren't able to complete your course because Renjun decided to stay the nights in between semester and took you out so much. If he would've told you to study, you'd be revising by now. He forgot that you leave everything for him. He hadn't told you anything about what was happening back at home. He applied to the same college as you because he didn't want to lose you but he slowly understood that he was just a distraction for you.

Renjun didn't speak to you the entire week, and the week after that. You were done with your exams but still no contact or trace of Renjun.

You called him multiple times those weeks but he didn't pick up, knowing that he was probably busy revising, you left him alone. You needed the space.

After your exams were over you went to his shared flat, one of his flatmates saw you in an alleyway and smiled at you. "Mark, have you seen Renjun?"

"Renjun went to college, he must be back by now though." Mark said.

"Ok, thanks."

"If he isn't home, you can just wait on the couch, he'll be back soon I think." Mark said.

You nodded, bidding Mark a goodbye and walking to their apartment. Renjun had told you the password to the apartment, all his flatmates knew that he had a girlfriend and they didn't mind it. They were friendly and got along with you.

When you unlocked the door and got in you saw a girl in the kitchen, around the same age as you.

"Oh Mark you're back?" She said and turned around. "Hello." You said and she smiled at you. "Who are you by the way?" She asked you, the question took you aback.

"I'm Rejun's girlfriend." You said, her mouth formed a small Oh. "What's your Major and Year?"

"I'm a final year in BCom."

"I'm a first in year Mass Media. Oh by the way I'm Mark's girlfriend."  She said and passed a cup of coffee towards you. "Renjun isn't home, how about you wait here till he's back? He said he wanted to get some groceries." Mark's girlfriend said. She was younger than you and Mark. Mark was doing his post graduation and she was in her first year. You and Renjun were the same age.

When Renjun had moved in only Mark was living here, before another guy named, Jeno had moved in. You had found yourself a reasonable one flat apartment but slowly it's cost was rising which was a problem for you, but you kept living in it.

"We're looking for a flatmate." Mark's girlfriend said, trying to break the awkward silence. "Oh, where do you live?"

"The apartment above."

The both of you started talking about college and she told you details about the flat and the empty room. It seemed decent and you thought about it. "Can i see it?" It was a chance to be closer to Renjun, he wouldn't have to commute so much to see you.

Renjun came back home an hour after you had arrived, Mark and his girlfriend kept you entertained. They made you coffee and spoke to you.

When Renjun came home, you saw his red face, which was puffy.

He saw you and stood at the door frozen. Slowly tears started to fall from his eyes and your movements were quick. You ran to him and hugged him. He fell on his knees near the shoe shelves and you hugged him. He cried into your arms and you soothed his back.

"What's wrong Jun?" You asked softly. Instead you got a louder sob for a reply.

His grip around you tightened and he cried for a few minutes before pulling away and pushing your hair back from your face.

"My parents are getting divorced, and i thought i lost you because you lost interest in me-"

"Renjun I love you." You said hands caressing his cheek. "Why didn't you tell me about all this?"

"I didn't want to burden you, and I thought you'd get affected."

"Renjun, if it's bothering you and is a problem to you, it's my problem too." You said smiling at him.

"They've been fighting a lot lately, since i came here."  Renjun looked down at the floor. "I wasn't there to stop them."

"Renjun, its not your fault." You put your hand under his chin and made him look up at you. "It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself."

"But I should've been there and because of me you weren't able to complete your course on time, its all my fault."

Your boyfriend who was almost a head taller than you, suddenly seemed like a small lost child who you wanted to coddle and sing to. He looked so troubled and sad that your heart hurt. It wasn't his fault, he blames himself for everything.

You remember the time when you were cutting vegetables and got a slight cut, he blamed himself for it, saying that he knew that you dont know how to use a knife so he should've been the one cutting the vegetables.

He was harsh on himself and as much as you believed you could change it, you couldn't but you wanted to.

"Renjun, its not your fault that i didn't study, it's my fault. That's on me."

"If I hadn't stayed the nights, you'd be done."

"Renjun you stayed over the weekends, i always had weekdays but i ended up wasting them, it's on me." You explained to him.

"What about my parents? That's totally on me. I shouldn't have left them knowing how hostile they are towards each other."

"If they were hostile towards each other did you ever consider that they were both stressed together. They didn't want to be together Renjun."

He finally looked at you, eyes dejected.

"I want to break up with you."

"Why?"

"I'm nothing but a distraction to you."

"You are my driving force. You're like a miracle to me. I wish you could see that."  You connected your foreheads. "You're the person i look forward to each day, knowing you'll provide me comfort and that you'll be there to listen to me."

"And i wish i could show you how much i feel for you, It can't be expressed in words." You whispered, planting a small kiss on his cheek.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on and  for keeping you in the dark." Renjun said.

You nodded. "You're not gonna hear the end of it, they annoyed me so much over the phone about who'll keep the pearls and me." Renjun said. "Honestly, your mom deserves the pearls." You said looking into his eyes.

A small giggle came from his chest. "Yeah she does."

That's when the door opened and Jeno entered. "Renjun, its dirty here-"

"Oh hi Y/N!"  Jeno smiled and waved at you. Mark slowly pulled Jeno, "You're ruining their moment dude." Mark muttered under his breath.

All of you laughed and ate ramen for dinner, enjoying each others company.

"Renjun, Mark's girlfriend told me there's a room upstairs that's empty. I was thinking i should move in there." You said when he brought you to his room.

"Actually, i was about to ask you if you wanna move in together, Mark wants his girlfriend to shift downstairs, we can have the entire apartment to ourselves." Renjun smiled. "Plus my house is closer to our college."

"Yes, I'll move in with you."

New beginnings awaited you two, all full of happiness and sunshine with a few rainy days, but no storm lasts forever, all of them pass, and bring along sunshine again.

Read More: Masterlist

[atsunflower]

Hospital for souls — The Line

Rated: SFW

Author note: I gotta nothing to say. This took me really long and I struggled a lot to write it. Thanks for being patient with me. Also, big shoutout to @neonghxst, who helped me a lot with this one. I love you bby 💕

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of anxiety and this chapter contains gore towards the end.

IV — The line

Previous || Next

"I don't wanna go" Your voice showed distaste at the invitation.

Since the fight with Sakusa, you avoided all human contact like the plague. The only ones that talked to you were the maids and, occasionally, Komori, who had warmed up to you since you saved his ass — to be honest, you weren't very fond of his change of character.

"Listen, you're the new lady of this household." Komori explained in a tired manner."This gala is held every year in some sort of diplomatics, to grant no family crosses the line. All the important members must make a presence."

"Yeah, but I'm sure no one cares if I don't show up." You deadpanned looking at his face.

"It's just a fancy ass party. I'll take you to get a dress myself, but I gotta run some errands and find a suit too. If I'm late, then Izuna will take you." Komori saw you stiffening when you heard the name. Ever since you arrived in Itachiyama, Izuna was the most hostile towards you. "Hey, don't worry about him... He'll be nice."

"I gotta remind you that no one has been nice to me since I came here, Komori-san." You stated the obvious and the male before you grimaced.

"Look, we're not as bad as you think. Neither we are some sort of low life criminals, you know." His voice sent shivers down your spine. The hazel-haired man has been treating you better, yes, but you could tell the words you said to Sakusa that day affected him too.

"Yeah. But you all did nothing to prove me wrong." You stared at his eyes, the sincere tone meaning each world "If anything, all you did was make me miserable even though I'm not a threat. And you know it." You saw when the hazel haired male shook his head, face softening a little.

"I'll be back in a few." And then, Komori left. 

To your relief, it was Komori himself who showed up at your bedroom door. Now, you were at some boutique somewhere in the fancy side of Shibuya, trying a beautiful strappy off-white dress.

You loved how the silky cloth hugged your body and how the pearly color complimented your skin tone. Definitely, it was the propper gown for an event as important as a mafia gala.

Taking in the figure reflected in the mirror, you recalled the last time you wore something so fancy was at your wedding. Suddenly, you felt ugly — after all, you were a woman of surgical scrubs and white coats. Wearing something like this dress was a reminder of what kind of life you were living now.

"[Name]-san, have you decided?" Komori asked with an undecipherable look on his face. 

"Ah, yes, I'm taking this one" You said to the salesperson, already getting back to the changing room.

From the inside, you heard a knock on the door. It was Komori.

"[Name], are you good?" He asked in a soft spoken manner, as if he was concerned.

You know it's not the case, don't let your guard down, you reminded yourself.

"Yes, Komori-san. Are we ready to go?" He hummed in agreement, saying he was going to do the payment.

The two of you had yet to arrive in Itachiyama. The silence was heavy inside the car and you could see the man opening his mouth as if he was trying to say something.

"I never asked, did you see a doctor?" You started, breaking the unnerving atmosphere.

"Ah, yes. I'm all good, no sequels or whatever." He cleared his throat, side-glancing at you "Those guys took us by surprise that night, huh? We were lucky you were there to help us out." You hummed, staring at his elbow, as if you could see through the material of his jacket.

"I shouldn't have opened your arm that way. It was really irresponsible of me to do it and it was a miracle things ended up well."You said in a reflecting manner.

Does she regret saving me?, Komori couldn't help but wonder.

"The doctor I saw said the surgery was perfectly executed, so don't beat yourself over it. Besides, I can see the passion you have. You'd make it right anyways." The male said truthfully and you frowned. You didn't want his trust because he would never have yours.

You also didn't like the appreciative tone he used. A doctor isn't a hero, You reminded yourself everyday, to never let it go to your head.

"I'm passionate, but it's about my personal ethics, you don't need passion to be good at what you do. I think you know it very well." You still frowned, not liking what he implied. You never wanted to be some sort of hero, much less to someone like him. 

"Yeah, I don't need to love the yakuza to be good at it. But I don't think a passionless person would make a good doctor." He argued, trying to prove his point.

"In my line of work, a mistake costs your whole career. Passionless and unethical people exist everywhere, a hospital isn't a sanctuary." You said matter of factly — it wasn't about the romantic lenses people saw the health workers. After all, medicine was a field made majorly of people with the means and the money. You learned it the hard way when you made into med school.

"Why would you say that?" The traffic light signalled to stop. The Kobun used this opportunity to take in your figure, eyes roaming over your crossed arms and unfazed features.

Duty takes a toll in everyone, huh?, He internally stated.

"Because I know someone. And as passionless someone could be, he's still the best at what he does." And Komori didn't miss the feeling displayed in your eyes.

It wasn't merely passion. Something deeper resided in those irises of yours.

An awkward silence overtook the atmosphere as the car resumed its movement. He felt uncomfortable, trying to figure out what you meant.

"Well, what matters is that everything ended up well. Who would have guessed they would attack us that night?" Komori conceded, trying to break the unsettling quietness.

"Yeah, this whole yakuza thing is really scary." You said looking through the tinted window, a pensive look in your face.

"You'll get used to it. And it doesn't happen on a daily basis either" He brushed you off, turning in a curb.

"Yeah, but ignoring the threat isn't an easy task." You retorted, tiredly.

"How do you know it? Besides, since you're our lady, it's not like we'll let  something happen to you." The brunette said, in hopes of comforting you. It had the opposite effect, as a silent rage ran down your body.

"Komori-san, how do I know?" You bitterly laughed "My whole life, I was at the line. My mother didn't want me to be born, Inarizaki wanted my head since I was in the womb and you guys will get rid of me at any given opportunity." You saw him opening his mouth to argue "Your household won't protect me if the order comes from Sakusa." 

As if in a cue, the car approached the gates of Itachiyama. Komori was rendered speechless, knowing you were right.

Personally, you weren't one to offend people and make them feel bad. You couldn't help the pang in your chest every time you exploded at any of them. But by god, were you tired.

I just want my life back, you thought. After all, it was infinite times easier to be a target when you were somehow detached from the life inside the families. The Kobun said something you paid no mind to.

Banging the car door shut, you ignored his calling.

The nagging feeling was a constant in his life.

Roaming through his memories, he could never pinpoint a time he felt comfortable under his skin. He was too anxious and life never treated him kindly to do so.

Maybe he overreacted a lot, too. But it wasn't his fault he had to be hyper aware of his surroundings.

The alert state was essential in an ambience full of people who could stab him in the back.

Fuck the diplomatics, he cursed.

It was one of those nights he hated the most. The suntuous ballroom was full of people going back and forth, bragging about futilities and throwing insincere flattery at each other. All because the ever so generous Karasuno was hosting a dinner at The Crow to assure no one disturbs the deal between the families.

Bullshit, he thought. It's only Karasuno trying to show off their influence over this frail peace.

And, as much as he appreciated said peace, he hated how everyone faked they got along with each other.

Not that he cared about politeness either. And his signature scowl did nothing to keep people away. After all, everyone wanted a piece of Itachiyama.

"Kiyoomi." The ravenette heard the deep voice from his back. A wave of relief washed over him.

At least, Wakatoshi-kun is here. I won't die from boredom, He mused.

"Wakatoshi." He responded, nodding at the other. From outside Itachiyama, Ushijima was the only one Sakusa considered a friend.

"I thought you wouldn't come tonight, I know you don't really like the crowd."

"People would find weird if I didn't, considering Inarizaki and everything."

"Speaking of which, did you bring your wife?" Ushijima asked, looking around. Sakusa nodded before speaking.

"Yeah, she went to the restrooms. Komori is with her." And speaking of the devil, you came into view.

He knew you had a fine taste for things, and he would be a fool to say you didn't look good tonight. But he would never admit it.

A Miya isn't worth you time, he repeated it like a mantra, observing as you made your way onto him.

Komori enthusiastically greeted Ushijima and you merely nodded out of politeness, looking at the bulky male with caution. Given Ushijima's intimidating vibes, Sakusa couldn't really blame you.

"I see you're Sakusa's wife. I'm Ushijima Wakatoshi." He offered his hand at you "It's a pleasure to meet you"

"Likewise, Ushijima-san" You introduced yourself as the Oyabun of Itachiyama watched the scene unfold before him, recalling how his friend was the blunt and introverted type. He couldn't help but admire the way the two of you conversed smoothly; earning Ushijima's sympathy required effort. You did it with ease.

"She's a good woman." Sakusa didn't see when your conversation died down and Ushijima turned to him. He found himself dumbfounded at the other's statement.

"She's a Miya"

"She worked with Shirabu. He spoke highly of her" A waiter passed by offering them whiskey. The rich scent of Yamazaki reached his nostrils as he drank it, throat used to the burning sensation "And you know he's not one to lie."

"Still…" His retort was halted when he felt the weight of a gaze on him. In the far corner of the room, none other than Oikawa Tooru had all his attention turned to the general direction of you all "What is he looking at?" He squinted at the brunette's direction, trying to make out his intentions.

"He seems to be looking at your wife" Ushijima bluntly spoke "But don't worry about him, Oikawa may have his reasons. He is a reliable man, after all."

"You're indeed soft today. What happened?" The other opened his mouth to respond before being interrupted by a startled voice.

Your husband was doing a good job ignoring you while speaking to Ushijima — you wouldn't complain, since you didn't want any of his attention.

Listening to Komori speaking wonders of the whiskey he was drinking, you felt a little at ease. You imagined the gala to be much scarier than this, but all you could see was snotty people too full of themselves. It was almost comical hearring them bragging about things you couldn't even dream of.

"This is a 25 years old Yamazaki. It's a favorite of mine and Kiyoomi—"

"Is this real life?" A surprised voice cutted Komori's middle sentence.

Before you, a handsome man looked appalled, staring at you with an emotion you couldn't identify. You were feeling uncomfortable as everyone around you was paying attention to your interaction.

"I'm sorry, sir. But am I supposed to know you?" You asked, in hopes to remember if you knew him by any chance. He beamed brightly at you.

"Of course you wouldn't remember me!" And he laughed again, earning a frown from your husband.

"Do you have any business to do with my wife?" Sakusa's cold-steel voice asked. The pretty man ignored it. And, at this point, everyone in the area stopped their actions, watching the scene with interest.

"I'm Oikawa Tooru, the Oyabun of Seijoh. Two years ago, you saved my nephew's life in an accident at the Dinosaur Bridge, only using a needle. After it, you held his hand until the ambulance came." The man bowed deeply, and only now you noticed he was accompanied by another spiky-haired male, who was also bowing at you. Observing them, you faintly remembered saving a little boy in a traffic accident a couple of years ago "For that, I'll be forever thankful. In return, I wanted to say you have Seijoh's gratitude whenever you need it." He stood tall again, staring at you dead in the eye to confirm he meant every single word he said.

You were speechless.

"I… sir, I'm thankful, but I did what had to be done. You don't owe me anything." You said uncertainly, glancing at the startled faces of both Komori and Sakusa. Ushijima looked fondly at you, as if he knew something.

"You had a choice that day, and you choosed to help us when we couldn't do anything. And it's enough for us to pay you back." The spiky-haired man said. It was rare for someone to address you with so much respect and sincerity. You appreciated it wholeheartedly.

"I— thank you." And you bowed at them, trying to show your gratitude to both males.

"Well, we won't disturb you anymore. Please have a good night" The Oikawa guy said, handing you a business card which you secluded inside your clutch.

"See?" You heard Ushijima saying, but you were too stunned to register it.

You didn't have time to process the event, as someone announced the dinner was about to be served.

"Seijoh's favour, huh? You sure are skyrocketing this mafia thing." Suna said, sitting on the chair on the opposite side of the table.

You all were addressed to a table with ten seats. It looked like Itachiyama was paired up with Inarizaki and another household you were yet to discover. The atmosphere was already stiff, as Sakusa kept throwing dirty glares at the twins.

"Impressive how you're doing well inside the yakuza. I thought you weren't going to last a month." Atsumu snickered as Osamu and the others ignored everything around them, getting ready for the dinner.

You mimicked their actions before Izuna joined you; you tensed seeing him taking the seat by your left.

Sakusa sat by your right, side-glancing at you. It looked like he had a newfound interest since the interaction with Oikawa earlier.

To your surprise, Seijoh was addressed to your table. Though, both Oikawa and Iwaizumi — Suna let you know his name and the fact he was also a Kobun — said nothing, sensing the tension hanging in the air.

None of the men said anything as the food started to be served. Instead, they busied themselves with the entree, keeping the smalltalk inside their household circle.

You heard Osamu saying something about the wine but you didn't register it. Soon enough, the waiters brought the main course in silver trays.

It smelled fabulous and your mouth watered at the scent.

"A lovely meal for the lady. Please enjoy it, I'm sure you won't forget this occasion." The blond waiter said, as he uncovered your plate. You took in the deep red sauce made of berries and the way the meat was perfectly cooked.

With fork and knife in hand, you went for it.

And indeed, you wouldn't forget the occasion.

Sliding the meat over the plate, you noticed it  hiding something. The scream was caught in your throat as you recognized the obnoxious structure, because years of unveiling the human anatomy would never fail you.

The cutlery clattered in the porcelain surface, spilling the sauce all over you. The white of your dress was now tainted with crimson, as if blood seeped out of your chest.

But you didn't even feel it. All you felt were hands shaking your body, trying to draw some reaction from you. The screams also came in a white noise through your ears, because all you could register was the sight before your eyes.

In the middle of the plate, a finger rested limp and dirty. Dead.

In a similar manner, you did too. 

Among the chaos, you sat there, also limp and dirty. At the end of a promise of death.

❥ tagging: @keekee-732 @chiibichann @captain-shittykawa @fortheloveofiwaizumi @daisyjaebae @jihoonspout @floodinginstars @fl4mepillar @trash4sportsanime @neonghxst @starrystanze @teaanbiss @hqxreader @yskomiii @shadyjinyoung @julimausi1311 @hyoonx23 @keuromi @differentballooncollection @onigiriimiya @wolfiepirate @sekshi-namjas @tomo-uwu @atsumusgf @letmegetthisclear @katokanae @cherryonigiri @ushijima-meixiu @bimboiiying @crownedcupcake17 @tvwhoresblog @thenerdyrebel @idiot-juice-enthusiast @caprolls @keijination   @wakaitoshi @clowninfortodoroki @shiningotak-ku @kemochie @lilacshouko @sehunosh @kiyoojima @shimy-deko @bap-kingdom @raenebalgaire @ricefarmerkita @rintarose @xanaxdeity @reiningsun

Taglist is closed (50/50)

[giorno-plays-piano]

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

Pairing: Dabi x villain!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, non-con, stalking, mentions of human experimentation, non-consensual drug use, lots of swearing.

Words: 1841.

Summary: Running away from the lab where you had been experimented on for years, you have no choice but to join the League of Villains to escape from the government. Of course, you don’t expect things to go smoothly, especially when one mutilated son of a bitch just can’t leave you alone.

P.S. I’ve suddenly remembered Rogue who had been my favorite character once; the heroine’s Quirk is partly based on her ability.

My dear @navegandoaciegas​, this is my first attempt at writing Dabi. Hope you’re going to enjoy reading it ❤

_________________

"Fuck, how much can you drink at once, birdie? Ain't you scared to pass out in a place full of men?"

Oh God, it was that smug bastard again. For the past couple of days Dabi couldn't get off your back for a full damn minute.

"Men? Here?" You opened your eyes and raised an eyebrow at the man whose face was right above yours as he leaned on the back of the couch where you laid. "I see just a couple of kids and one burnt corpse who can never fucking shut up."

"Oh? Wanna see how well can a burnt corpse fuck you up?"

Always up to a challenge. You rolled your eyes at his obvious display of hostility despite the fact he'd most definitely lose against you. Besides, Shigaraki would barely enjoy you two ruining the League's hideout, and upsetting that asshole ready to go berserk any moment certainly wasn't one of your priorities.

"Just go fuck yourself, would you? I'm not in the mood to bark at you."

"Well, then don't. I didn’t come here for that, actually."

This was something new. He suddenly became calm as you studied his grotesque mutilated face inches away from yours. Your expression didn’t betray any emotions either since you weren't shocked or disgusted by the way Dabi looked: you've seen worse in the laboratory, and repulsive things had long stopped looking repulsive to you.

"What are you here for, then?" You asked him, trying to remember if you finished that second bottle of sake or not. Since the time you accidentally got one of those useless Quirks, you couldn't get drunk anymore - now strong alcohol only made you sleepy.

"I've always wanted to ask why the fuck are you wearing these." Dabi pointed out to the black leather gloves laying on the coffee table in front of you, and you rolled your eyes again. One more useless question.

"In this team of no-brainers you're the last person I expected to ask me this question." Groaning, you moved up a little to take more comfortable position and stared at the man above you intensely.

"Don't you want to gather as many Quirks as possible? If so, why wearing gloves when you can only get a Quirk through touch?"

You were close to snapping at him, and it certainly made Dabi look even more smug.

"Who the fuck do you think I am, a garbage bin?" You barked wishing you could teleport the bastard somewhere to Hawaii. "I only take Quirks I need, and it isn't easy to find those in that damp of useless abilities regular citizens have. Besides, some Quirks are quite dangerous for their owners and I'd prefer them not existing at all. You, of all people, should already get that, Pretty Face."

He smiled at you, but you saw his hollow eyes sparkling dangerously at your last remark, and you felt his body emanating heat he could turn into his famous blue flames within a second. Nasty shit, that what's you thought of his Quirk. Who on Earth would want anything like that? You doubted anyone but a true psychopath could really appreciate something as fucked up as Dabi's ability to burn anything and anyone, himself including. You definitely didn't want to use his Quirk despite already taking it as almost all of those belonging to the League of Villains. It wasn't intentional, though.

"You'd better start watching your mouth, birdie. You ain't back in the lab." His smile grew wider as he saw your expression darkening at the mention of the lab.

Fucking son of a bitch. You bet he'd go insane during the first month being locked up there.

"Huh, calm down, dear. I think it's better we get along."

You sent him a glare wishing you could throw his overconfident ass out of the window. Dabi loved messing with fucking everyone, Shigaraki included, but he was still a valuable member of the team. Killing him would do you no good.

Showing him your middle finger, you put your head on the pillow and took the half-empty bottle of sake. Thank goodness you didn't finish it. You hoped Dabi would vanish by the time you were done.

You spent a few minutes in complete silence as the man kept leaning on the couch and watching you drinking while you did your best trying to relax. Why the Hell was Dabi stuck here with you? Didn't he have any other things he should be doing now? Was he here to get under your skin even more? Shit, you just wanted to be left alone. You wanted it since the time they brought you to the lab, but since then somebody had always been getting on your nerves one way or the other.

"Seriously, what do you want from me?" You grunted as you opened your eyes again and stared at Dabi's face. "You wanna take the couch or what? I ran out of sake if you're here for it."

There was that smug smile again. Saints, the guy had been creeping you out with his long intense stares for quite some time, but today he was even less bearable than usual. He definitely wanted something from you, and the feeling was making you uneasy.

"You wanna hook up, birdie?"

You thought you were gonna choke on air when you heard him saying that. What? Seriously? Did he hurt his head so bad last time heroes attacked? So, that was the meaning of those stares, then? He thought you were the one he could stick his dick in. Wincing from the thought like from a toothache, you squeezed your eyes shut. The guy was clearly mad.

"Are you out of your mind? Why would I want to hook up with anyone?" You huffed with irritation and realized Dabi was having way more fun than you.

"Don't tell me you're actually a virgin."

"You think I can be a virgin with the life I'm having?" You sounded more bitter than you thought you would, and the man above you chuckled. He was getting on your nerves more and more with each passing second.

"Then why not? Sex is a good way to relax. You certainly seem like you could let off some steam." You flinched when Dabi extended his hand to you, but he had only brushed of a lock of your hair out of your face. "I bet I can help you with that better than most of the team."

"Sex is painful, and I don't like pain. Go have fun with Toga, she seems more into that than me." You narrowed your eyes at him, your hand almost touching his neck if the villain decided he'd go further without your consent. His stupid grin going wider was making you more and more mad.

Of course, he wouldn't go to Himiko. That asshole had his own type, and she certainly didn't fall into that category. Why did you? You had no idea, but you doubted he would ever lay his hands on you. Yeah, you knew what sex was, and it had nothing to do with pleasure like in those stupid romantic novels you once bought. It was humiliating and painful. If you had a chance to get back to those who did it to you back in the lab, you'd rip their hearts out of their rib cages.

The expression on your face didn't seem to faze Dabi even the slightest bit, and you rolled your eyes in irritation. Apparently, he wouldn't give up unless you showed him you weren't some doll he could play with, and Shigaraki was probably going to get real mad at the both of you this evening.

All of a sudden you felt some strange tickling in your muscles you had never felt before. What was that? Confused, you quickly glanced over the room to see no one except Dabi still on his spot. What was that? Was it some hero's work? Had they found your hideout? No, it couldn’t be. You'd hear them, feel them before somebody even set their foot on your territory. It wasn't a hero.

Unwilling to wait for any surprises to happen, you used a regeneration Quirk, the one you were gifted on your 14th birthday so you could heal yourself after they ran the tests without troubling a healer too much. Strangely, the Quirk did nothing about the tickling, and you felt your legs getting weaker. What the fuck was that?

As you raised your head to ask Dabi for help, you suddenly realized he was eager to see what you were doing. He looked like he enjoyed watching you in such state, confused and even frightened, your knees slightly trembling as if you became weak within a couple of seconds.

It was him. He did something to you. The bastard had the nerve to do something to your body so it'd be easier to handle you.

"What have you done?" You hissed at him while he chuckled, pointing at the bottles of sake on the table. "Have you poisoned my drink?"

But the regeneration would work in that case. You knew for sure.

Running his finger around the shell of your ear, Dabi hummed with content, "Poisoned? Come on, who do you think I am, an Evil Queen? That's just a little handy potion that has a tendency to slowly accumulate in your body. Makes you a little softer, don't you think?"

Oh. Oh. That's why he was always watching you. He had no idea when the effects would start to show. Did he fucking realize it could happen in the heat of the battle when you needed your Quirks the most? Did Dabi have any idea what would happen if heroes managed to lock you away again?

"Seems like you planned to abandon me if heroes attacked, didn't you?" You gritted your teeth when Dabi got on top of you, his hands on your chest as he caressed your body like a lover would, his hot fingers getting under your clothes.

"Of course not. I'd play your personal hero and save your stubborn ass the trouble of murdering everyone."

While you desperately wanted to kick him off you came to realization you weren't able to even stand up, your arms and legs so weak you could barely move while Dabi had no problems stripping you out of your clothes, his hands on the your thighs as he took off your pants.

Shit, shit, shit. You couldn’t use any Quirks to hurt him, all of them barely responding to your call. What was that potion? Why nobody in the lab prepared you for this? How on Earth did that shithead obtain such a dangerous thing?

"If you hurt me, I'll rip your brain out of your skull and bring it to Shigaraki as a present."

His chapped, disfigured lips brushed against your neck almost gently when the man murmured, "It doesn't have to be painful, birdie. I'll show you how much fun we can have together."

___________________

Tags: @coolio-love @awesomerextyphoon​

[cocastyle]

Change - Ch. 2 | O N E

Pairing - Bill Denbrough x reader

Word Count - 13,258

A/N - super long beginning chapter for this half of the series but one hundred percent necessary! I didn’t want to split up the part where each person gets their phone calls, so I decided to make it one long chapter to kick the second movie rewrite off. I am beyond excited for what’s to come and I really hope you all enjoy this rewrite!

if you would like to be added to the tag list for this series let me know!

C H A N G E

Change Series Masterlist

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O N E - Beginning of the End

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Memory. It's a funny thing.

People want to believe they are what they choose to remember—the good stuff, the moments, the places, the people we all hold onto. But sometimes. . .sometimes we are what we wish we could forget.

The thing is sometimes what we wish was forgotten, what we tried to leave in the past, won't stay there. Sometimes it comes back for you.

- - -

Bill Denbrough stared blankly at his computer screen, watching as the cursor blinked repeatedly as he had yet to type a word other than the setting which was 'attic' on the paper. A copy of his latest book titled The Attic Room sat beside his computer, little slips of paper sticking out from different pages he had marked down and made notes on.

A knock on his trailer door was what finally snapped the man out of his thoughts, lifting his head in the direction of the door in a tired manner as if he wasn't quite sure if the knock was real or not. When the door suddenly opened up, Bill was quick to sit up and nod his head forward, the action causing his glasses to fall from his forehead and back onto his nose as he pretended to be typing away. "Mr. Denbrough," a soft voice said and Bill glanced over to see a woman a little younger than him with short blonde hair and a headset, "they need you on set."

It took all of Bill's willpower not to look at all surprised when he was practically screaming inside of his head. Already? Hadn't he only just sat down to write? How long had he been sitting there? Glancing at his watch, Bill swallowed thickly once he realized he had been sitting there for hours now, the day already almost over by now.

Bill could feel the woman's eyes still on him and he was quick to plaster a fake smile on his face as he looked to her and gave her a short nod. That seemed to be enough of an answer for her and she disappeared outside leaving Bill to collect his things as he tiredly took his glasses off his face.

His eyes instantly flickered to his computer and he put both hands on his face before dragging them down with a small sigh. Bill reached out and shut the computer without another thought about it and grabbed the computer and copy of his book before hurrying out of his trailer where the woman was waiting for him.

"We're just going to go this way," the woman said as she began to walk Bill towards one of the many buildings on the Warner Bros property.

Bill was trying his best not to seem as nervous as he was, gripping onto his book and computer tight enough with one hand that his other could relax peacefully by his side. He felt queasy and for a moment he wondered if he was going to be sick. He hadn't felt this nervous in a long time and Bill thought to himself about the last time he had been this nervous if not more.

For just a second it was like a image of startling e/c eyes flashed through his head, but it had vanished before he could grasp it. The image was gone as quick as it had came and Bill had no clue what he had even been thinking about in the first place.

A small frown began to make its way onto Bill's face, but it was quickly replaced by a panicked look once he saw the garage door to the set beginning to fall closed. His eyes widened and he jogged past the woman who shouted after him, but he ignored her and was quick to slide under the door just as it was closing.

"Hey, use the door!" a man exclaimed as he pointed towards the regular door that Bill could've easily walked through. "Come on! You never seen Indiana Jones?" Bill questioned, his eyebrows furrowing at the man. It had only been a joke, something to get his heart bumping in an excited and adventurous way instead of the nervous beating his heart had encountered moments before.

"Watch it!" another voice exclaimed and Bill was quick to stop in his tracks as a man walked past him with a container of props rolling across the floor. Bill shook his head slightly, already overwhelmed, and began to make his way across the room and over to where he assumed the director would be.

"Hey, hey, you a member?" a man asked, but Bill was barely able to register what he said as he walked past him. "Hmm? I'm. . .the writer," Bill finally managed to get out before he walked onto set.

Instead of finding the director, Bill was met with another sight that made him even more uncomfortable then he already was. "Bill," Audra Phillips, the leading lady of the movie who also happened to be his ex-wife, greeted him. "Hey."

He had been married to Audra for eight years before the two had ended things a year back. In all honesty, Bill wasn't quite sure why he had married the woman in the first place. He had thought he loved her, but the moment she had asked for a divorce he could only describe having felt one emotion—relief. Their marriage hadn't ended badly and there had been no problems. It was just two people simply falling out of love with each other. Audra had even started to date a co-star she had met a few months back and Bill was happy for her. After all, he had come to the realization that Audra wasn't the girl for him. He had a feeling like there was someone out there for him and the crazy thing was that he felt like he had already met her, but that she was lost. Weird, right?

Bill and Audra weren't exactly friends per say and only saw each other as business partners, knowing that neither one would be able to survive in their business without a mutual agreement between the two. However, Bill still couldn't help but think about how much he hated having to work the same movie with her.

"Do you have the pages?" Audra questioned, snapping Bill out of his thoughts as she took a step closer to him, her eyes staring intently at him in both a questioning and alarmed manner. Bill hesitated and it was then that Audra's eyes widened. However, neither got a chance to say anything before the director was suddenly lowering his seat down in between the two, his gaze on Bill.

"My friend," the director Peter began, looking to Bill in exasperation, "a film needs an ending. You do know that right?" "Oh, yeah," Bill replied, looking to Peter in slight disbelief. However, he couldn't blame him for asking. Bill had a tendency to procrastinate when it came to writing especially when it was something like this where they wanted him to change the ending of his book.

"You said that you needed another day to finish the pages and we're shooting this thing. It's tonight," Audra told him, her eyes still on Bill as she spoke in an accusing tone. "It's been seventeen hours," Bill muttered, but no one seemed to be listening to him.

"Everybody calm down, okay?" Peter said, his eyes flickering between the two as if he were afraid they would begin to fight. Despite their business agreement, Audra and Bill had been known to argue on more than one occasion and it was obvious Peter did not want to see another one of those. "I'm calm," Bill told him, unsure as to where Peter could see any hostility in what he was saying.

"I want you to be happy with the movie, you understand? I'm on your side," Peter insisted. "That's. . .that's great. Cause in my book the ending-" Bill began. "Is terrible," Peter finished with no regret or hesitation. Bill blinked in surprise and looked to the director with furrowed eyebrows. "With all due respect, people love your book. Love! But they hated the ending."

"You said you liked the ending," Bill said, looking a little defeated as he studied the man in front of him. Did people really hate his endings? "That was a lie," Peter told him bluntly while Audra glanced to Bill in a way that seemed to hold just a tad bit of sympathy. "We got to do better, okay?" Bill was hesitant before looking down at the ground and nodding his head. "Yeah," he breathed out, although he wasn't sure what to think.

"Audra, you have my notes. Could you-?" Peter questioned as he gestured towards Bill causing the man to look up and over at Audra in surprise while she nodded in response. "Thank you very much. Could you take me back to-"

Before Bill could even hear the rest of his sentence, Peter was gone and back into the film leaving Bill and Audra standing there. "You have his notes?" Bill finally questioned, turning to look at his ex wife in disbelief. “He's not wrong," Audra sighed. "You hate my endings too?" Bill asked surprised, having never heard in their eight years of marriage that she hated his endings. In fact, she had praised him on multiple occasions. Had a year of them not being married changed her perspective that much?

"Not all your endings. This just-" Audra admitted while Bill's eyes widened and he turned to walk away. Audra was quick to follow after him, knowing that he had to get the pages done in order for this movie to be finished. "What? Do you want me to keep lying to you just because we used to-" "Be married?" Bill questioned as he looked back at the women. "No, no. You just. . .you been blowing smoke up my ass for eight years? I guess I thought you were someone else."

"I have not been blowing smoke up your ass," Audra said, a look of anger crossing her face as she stopped beside Bill who was at the catering table.

"Everybody wants a happy ending. Everybody wants closure, but it's not the way life works out," Bill insisted, hesitating slightly as he felt his heart ache. For a moment he thought he felt something poking his brain, a memory begging to be let out. But it was gone just as fast as the image from earlier and he was already forgetting about it.

"I think what Peter wants and what the studio wants-" Audra began only for Bill to snap his head in her direction. "The studio?" he questioned, even more surprised than before now that he knew that everyone seemed to be talking about his book and how much the ending sucked. "When did you become the company? You're an artist. Come on. What's wrong with doing it the way it's written? The way I want it? What's wrong with being the woman I want you to be?"

Audra's eyes widened a little in anger and she gritted her teeth before saying, "Fuck you, Bill!"

"On the page," Bill sighed, not having meant it the way Audra was taking it, but it seemed the woman didn't care. "The part I mean. Not you. I don't even care about you in that way." Audra's eyes widened even more in anger and Bill swore she was about to slap him. "Shit, that came out wrong."

Bill's cell ringing was what finally saved him from himself and he went to fish his phone out of his pocket while Audra sent a glare at him before walking away. He didn't even bother yelling after her for he knew there was no point. She wouldn't want to listen and they would just end up arguing more than they just had.

Turning back to the food table so that Bill wouldn't have to acknowledge the eyes that were staring at him from all around the movie set, the man glanced at his phone to see that it was a call coming from Derry, Maine. Bill got that same feeling once again, like there was something he was missing, but he pushed it aside and instead exited out of one of the back doors so that he woundn't disrupt filming.

"Hello?" Bill questioned as he put the phone to his ear, confused as to who could be calling him that lived in Derry, Maine. "Bill Denbrough?" a deep voice said, a voice that Bill did not recognize at all. "It's Mike." Bill furrowed his eyebrows, still not knowing who this person was. "Mike who?" Bill asked.

"Mike Hanlon."

It took Bill a moment to even register what the man had said and it was in that moment that he stopped in his tracks. The nervousness he had felt earlier about talking to Peter and Audra was nothing compared to the feeling he was suddenly getting.

It was like his whole body had gone cold, so cold in fact that he was numb to all other sensations. All he could hear was a ringing in his ears before it was quickly overpowered by his heartbeat that had begun to race so fast despite Bill not knowing why. His breathing picked up its pace ever so slightly and Bill didn't even register his hand which had started to shake as it held onto his phone.

Fear, that was what he felt. But for what? He was unsure.

"From Derry."

And it was then that Bill was brought back to reality, wincing slightly as he suddenly got a flashback of a young dark skinned boy smiling at him. He had to have been thirteen years old and the image of the boy plus the name Mike Hanlon and the connection of Derry were enough for Bill to remember who it was he was talking to.

How had he been able to forget about Mike? They had been best friends up until the day Bill had moved away and for a moment Bill remembered having promised to keep in touch with Mike only to realize he never had. Now why was that?

A few more memories flashed through Bill's head and it felt as if he couldn't breath as he remembered his thirteen year old self sitting in a circle with the people who had all been his best friends—Stanley Uris, Mike Hanlon, Ben Hanscom, Beverly Marsh, Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak, and Y/N Uris.

Bill felt like he had just gotten a punch to the gut at that last name, his eyes widening as he suddenly saw an image of Y/N Uris standing before him in a field. Her h/c hair blowing gently in the wind, her e/c eyes glistening under the rays of the sun while she sent him one of those effortless smiles of hers that used to make him feel as if he were going to have a heart attack.

You make me happy, Bill Denbrough.

Y/N Uris.

Now how the hell could he forget about her?

Before Bill could think of her much longer, his hand suddenly began to flare up in pain. The man winced and was quick to look down at his hand and at a scar that ran along his palm, a scar that he didn't remember having until that very moment. And all he could do was stare at the scar while Mike's voice rang in his ear.

"You need to come home."

- - -

"Eddie, I keep telling you not to scare me like this and you never listen to me," Myra Kaspbrak complained over the speaker of the car while a shaky hand reached for the glove compartment to pull out a container of pills.

"Alright, Myra!" Eddie Kaspbrak exclaimed, knowing that there was no other way to gain the attention of his wife unless his voice was louder than hers. He held the bottle of pills up to his lips and was quick to dump his doctor prescribed amount into his mouth. "Please not now."

"You shouldn't be out there," Myra insisted while Eddie huffed in annoyance low enough that she couldn't hear. "Eddie, it's not safe to drive when the roads are slick like this."

"Sweetheart, it stopped raining like three hours ago, alright? Everything's going to be fine," Eddie assured her before the honking of a cab gained his attention. The man was quick to look out the window and yell, "Hey, dickhead! Slow traffic mean anything to you?"

"What if you hydroplane?" Myra continued, ignoring Eddie's yells. "I'm not going to hydroplane," Eddie insisted, already feeling himself becoming more and more tense behind the wheel. He was trying to keep himself calm, but that was hard. How had he ever been able to calm his younger self down when there are people like Myra always yelling at him?

Taking in a deep breath, Eddie managed to keep his voice steady long enough to reply, "It is my job to assess risks so please trust me when I tell you that statistically speaking I am much more likely to get into an accident because I am talking to you on the phone! Alright? I have to go. I will talk to you soon. Goodbye."

Eddie didn't even give Myra time to respond before he was ending the call and he let out a small sigh of relief once it was over. However, he had barely even gotten the sigh out before his phone was ringing again.

Eddie was quick to press the answer button and, thinking it was a client, he said, "Edward Kaspbrak speaking." "You didn't say 'okay, bye, I love you' like you usually do," Myra's voice came through the speaker once again.

Eddie had to resist the urge to scream as he said, "Listen to me! I can't! I'm going to be late to this-" His phone began to ring again and he glanced down at the screen before falling quiet, his eyes locking onto the caller ID which read Derry, Maine. "-meeting."

Eddie felt as if someone had dunked a bucket of ice cold water on him, the cold seeping all the way down to his bones and making his whole body ache. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and for the first time in a while he had the sudden urge to use his inhaler.

He was afraid, but what of?

But then he saw a flash of an image, a boy with thick rimmed glasses grinning at him as he nudged his side with his elbow. And then he was hearing a voice that didn't belong to the boy with glasses whisper into his ear, soft and so familiar despite the fact that he couldn't pinpoint why he remembered it.

Eds.

He had never been called Eds before to his knowledge, having always hated it since he was a child. So why did he suddenly hear a young girl's voice whispering it into his ear? And why was that enough to calm him down and make his fear disappear?

"Say 'I love you,' Eddie," Myra insisted, but Eddie was barely listening to her, his gaze still focused on the caller ID. "Okay. I love you, Mommy," Eddie muttered as if in a trance. "What?" Myra's voice said and that was enough to have Eddie snap out of it.

"Myra," he corrected before going to end the call. "Bye." Eddie didn't even hesitate to answer the call from Derry, but when it got to speaking, he found himself hesitating longer than he should've for an unknown reason.

"Hello?" Eddie finally said, his eyes staring warily at the screen as if that would answer all of his unknown questions. "Who is this?"

"It's me. Mike," a voice replied and Eddie gulped, his eyes still on the screen. "Mike who?" Eddie questioned nervously. He was too focused on the screen to notice that he ran a red light until honking was heard and a yellow cab hit the car from the side. Eddie's car came to a screeching stop as all air bags went off.

"Eddie, you okay?" Mike asked in a panic after hearing the crash from the other side of the line.

From under the air bag, Eddie's voice croaked out. "Yeah, I'm pretty good," Eddie replied although he had a feeling he was going to be anything but okay after this phone call.

- - -

Richie Tozier gripped onto the metal stair railing the best that he could as he puked over the side and onto the ground below. His whole body was shaking as he stood there feeling colder than he had ever felt before yet sweating to the point where his glasses began to slide down his nose.

He was sick once more over the side of the railing before he managed to glance at his phone which he had been on only moments before to answer a call from Derry, Maine. He hadn't known what to expect when answering it and had honestly thought either a fan had found his number or someone was calling to try and book him.

However nothing could prepare him for Mike Hanlon to be on the other end, a name he hadn't heard of in years and a boy he hadn't heard from in just as long. He hadn't even remembered the boy until Mike had said his full name, the name jogging something in Richie's mind as he remembered the homeschooler he used to be friends with.

It was then that Richie remembered the rest of his best friends who had all dawned the group name of the Losers Club and Richie realized he hadn't thought of them in what seemed like forever. In fact, he couldn't even remember half of the things they did together, but as the minutes ticked by he slowly began to remember his best friends who he had joked and messed around with until he was pretty sure the memories had gotten too much for him that he had been sick.

It had to be the memories, right? What else could it be?

"What the fuck?" a voice exclaimed behind him causing the man to stand up and look to see his manager standing at the door that led back into the club. "You were fine like five seconds ago. Who was it? Who called?"

Richie couldn't bring himself to say anything, his whole body still shaking violently as he gripped onto the metal railing. Why did he suddenly have a feeling like something was wrong? Was it because Mike told him he needed to come home? Was it because he felt guilty for having forgotten about the very friends he used to swear he would never forget about?

"Rich?" his manager said and for a moment Richie swore he heard the nickname said in what he distantly remembered as Eddie Kaspbrak's voice. "Rich?" there it was again, but this time it sounded like a girl. It took merely a second for Richie to identify it as Y/N Uris and he swore he grew paler, but why?

"Talk to me," his manager said and it was then that Richie began to snap out of it and stood up taller as he knew that neither Eddie or Y/N were here or even still thirteen years old. "You're on in two minutes," his manger announced as he handed Richie a rag which he quickly used to wipe his mouth. "You good? Cause you look not good."

In all honesty, Richie wasn't sure if he was good or not. He had forgotten about his best friends. Mike Hanlon had called telling him he needed to come home without any explanation why. His hand hurt like a bitch because of some scar he didn't remember having. And he had a sickening feeling in his gut which he could only describe as fear. But fear of what exactly?

"I'm fine," Richie insisted, quickly leaving the alleyway and walking back into the club. He couldn't think about Derry or the Losers any more especially not when he was supposed to be doing a show. Mike would just have to wait.

"You're fine? Good. Okay. And we're walking and we're walking," his manager muttered as he quickly stepped into line by Richie's side. "Sixty seconds," a stage manager announced to the pair. "Even faster," his manager said as he ushered Richie to pick up his pace, but Richie was struggling to even stand up right at this point. "Could you get him a bottle of water maybe?"

"Bourbon," Richie corrected, knowing he would need something a lot stronger to get through the show. "Bourbon?" his manager questioned before realizing Richie was serious and nodding to the stage manager to go. "Sure. Sure." "And a mint," Richie muttered as he grimaced at the taste in his mouth.

"Showtime," his manager said as they got closer to the stage, but Richie shook his head in distress. "I don't think I can do this," Richie admitted, feeling sicker by the second. His manager began to grumble behind him, but Richie was barely paying attention as someone was suddenly handing him a glass of bourbon and a container of mints. "That was fast."

Richie downed the drink almost instantly before popping multiple mints in his mouth. Knowing he had a crowd waiting for him, Richie took in a deep breath before walking over to the door that lead to the stage but that actually happened to be the emergency exit.

"This way," his manager corrected him, directing the man down a different hallway and through a different door. "Attaboy. Okay." "Alright, how do I look?" Richie questioned, his hands violently shaking the glass and a container of mints in his hands while he forced a smile onto his face.

His manager grimaced slightly and stared at Richie for a moment before sighing, "Yeah, your hands are shaking, Rich." Richie blinked in surprise before looking down at his hands to find that they were in fact shaking. "Shit," he muttered before quickly shoving the two items into his manager's hands. It was too late to do anything else, so the man began to walk towards the stage, slowly breathing in and out to try and calm his nerves.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome Richie Tozier!"

Richie was quick to put on a fake smile and raise his hand as he walked out on stage. The crowd began to clap and cheer, a sound that usually made Richie feel at home but tonight made him feel more alone and uncomfortable than ever.

Cursing himself slightly, Richie walked over to the microphone in the middle of the stage and took in a deep breath before smiling at the audience and beginning his routine, ignoring the slight shake of his hands that he was desperately trying to control.

"Alright, how we doin' today?" Richie questioned earning a roar of cheering from the audience. It was obvious that they couldn't tell he was nervous and that put Richie a little bit at ease.

"So my girlfriend caught me uh masterbating to her friend's Facebook page and uh. . .so now I'm in masterbaters anonymous," Richie said, reciting the lines he had read off of a script for the first time the night before. The crowd seemed to like it and laughed and that laughter only made Richie feel more at ease.

"And I stand up at the first meeting and I say 'my name is Richie Trashmouth-'" Richie stopped abruptly, his whole demeanor changing as he accidentally said the nickname that he been bestowed upon him when he was younger. He hadn't even remembered the nickname up until it slipped from his mouth. Where had that come from?

Oh okay, trash the trash-mouth, I get it, he distantly heard his thirteen year old voice say in his head although he couldn't remember why he was saying that or to whom.

In a blink of an eye the memory was gone and Richie could do nothing but stand there on stage with a blank expression, the joke completely gone from his head. In fact, he couldn't even seem to remember the rest of the script he had spent hours practicing.

"Trashmouth uh. . .I forgot the joke," Richie admitted while a whistle was heard from the crowd. Before long people had started to whisper, some even booed before a woman yelled out, "You suck!" Richie faked a smile at that before looking down at his feet. He was suddenly overcome with another wave of nausea and Richie couldn't help but think back to the phone call with Mike.

What the fuck had that phone call done to him?

- - -

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for letting us present to you today," an employee of Hanscom & Associates said, his eyes flickering over the table before him before he gestured towards the building model on the table in front of them. "Now this will include over a million square feet of commercial and residential space-"

"What I'm really looking for is to understand how we create even more retail opportunities," another man at the table explained, his gaze steady and calculating. "If we put in walls here and all along here-“

"Lose them," a new voice said causing everyone in the room to look to the television screen which held a video conference call with the owner of the company himself. "With all due respect, Mr. Hanscom," the original man began, but Ben Hanscom was quick to correct him.

"Ben," he insisted as he leaned back a little in the office chair he had at home. "And with all due respect, I'm getting claustrophobic just looking at this model, aren't you? Look throw up more walls, it's gonna feel like a prison. You know what people want to do in prison? Get out, right? This should be a place that brings people together. A meeting ground."

Ben's eyes flickered down to his wallet and he gently reached for it before opening it up, his fingers brushing against an old folded piece of paper that was slightly sticking out with cursive handwriting just beginning to peak out behind the leather.

Ben rested his fingers against the paper and looked up thoughtfully as an image of a wooden room filled his thoughts, laughter of children echoing in his head as he distantly remembered a group of kids that had changed his life forever.

"Clubhouse," he whispered, his eyes glazing over as he got lost in thought. "And if, while people are there then-"

A small buzz pulled the man out of his thoughts and he trailed off as he looked to his right and at his phone sitting beside him. He froze at the sight of a number calling from Maine.

It was like time stood still and he was sure his face paled. For some reason he felt a sense of dread wash over him, like something was nagging at the back of his head telling him to either ignore the call completely and never think of it again or drop everything just to answer it.

He didn't know why, but it felt like his throat was beginning to close up, his heart thumping a little faster while a prickling feeling started from his toes before moving up the rest of his body. For the first time in Ben didn't know how long, he felt scared. But why? It was only a phone call? What was there to fear?

"Excuse me for one second," Ben said as he looked back at his computer before quickly pausing the video conference. "Hello?" Ben said as he stood up, his voice shaky although he wasn't sure why.

"Ben? It's Mike Hanlon from Derry."

- - -

Beverly Marsh awoke with a jolt, the feeling of something wet against her cheek being enough to wake her almost instantly. However, when she went to rub her cheek, there was nothing there. Frowning, Beverly stared up at the ceiling with a blank expression on her face but was quickly startled once again when her phone began to buzz beside her.

The red head snapped her head in the phone's direction, her eyebrows furrowing at the sight of someone from Maine calling her, and was quick to pick up her phone and rush to the kitchen as to not wake up her husband.

It wasn't long before she was sitting at her kitchen table, the voice of one of her childhood best friends Mike Hanlon ringing in her ears. "You made a promise, Beverly," Mike said almost sadly, but Beverly could barely register it. She was still getting an overwhelming amount of sudden memories flashing through her head, memories she had thought she had forgotten.

She tried to grasp onto the memories, but each time she did they would disappear back to the depths of her mind just out of reach. It was like she was remembering, but not at the same time. She felt as if there were things she was forgetting, fragments of her past missing from her mind. Although she barely remembered anything from her past up until Mike had called, so why was she worried about it?

"I-I'm so sorry, Mike," Beverly sighed, shaking slightly as she hugged her body with her free arm. She wasn't sure why she was so cold all of a sudden or why she felt like her heart was in her throat. Why was she so afraid? She was only talking to Mike. "I don't even really remember."

"Haven't you ever wondered why you can't seem to remember the things most people should? About where they're from? About who you are?" Mike questioned and Beverly swallowed thickly for she knew exactly what Mike was talking about. People had asked her before about her past, but she had never been able to answer them. It was like part of her life was missing from her mind and she had no idea why.

"Why you have that scar on your hand?" Mike questioned once Beverly didn't respond and that was enough to have the red head freeze. She shakily held her hand out, her eyes locking on the scar that ran across the palm of her hand. She had barely even stared at it for a second before she suddenly felt a searing pain grow where the scar was.

"No one else remembered either. Eddie, Bill, Richie, Ben," Mike listed off all while Beverly stared at her hand. But at the mention of the last name, she couldn't help but freeze.

"Ben," she whispered almost in a daze for she hadn't heard that name in a long time. At least not when referring to the boy she used to be best friends with. For a moment she remembered a field and walking along a small path with Ben by her side, the shy boy hesitantly brushing his fingers against her own before Beverly had smiled and taken his hand in hers.

"You have to come back," Mike said, his words finally snapping out of her thoughts long enough for her to look away from her scarred hand and outside at the pouring rain. "You all do."

Beverly got that sinking feeling in her stomach once again, her whole body chilled down to the bone. "When?" she breathed out, her voice barely above a whisper.

It wasn't long before Beverly was off the phone and packing her bags. Her nerves were haywire causing her to frantically rush around while her thoughts jumbled around in her brain. She couldn't even think straight, so it didn't even register to her just how loud she was being until she had grabbed her packed bag and was going to leave her closet only to find her husband standing there.

Beverly jumped back out of pure fright, her eyes wide before she registered that it was her husband standing before her and not—

The red head's thoughts stopped instantly in their tracks. Whatever she had thought was waiting for her was gone and for a moment she wondered what she had been expecting and why she couldn't remember.

"Woah, you okay?" her husband questioned causing the red head to snap back to reality as she looked to him. "What's going on? It's uh. . .the middle of the night and you're packing?"

Beverly was quick to lean up and peck her husband's lips once as she began to walk past him. "I didn't want to wake you," Beverly admitted. "Honey, I know this week's been really exhausting. I just got a phone call from an old friend from Derry. I have to go back there. It's really hard to explain why."

"It's okay," he assured her as he walked over to where she was currently sitting on their bed tying her shoes. He sat down next to her, his face completely blank of emotion, but his voice soft. "You don't have to explain yourself to me. Relax." He reached out and gently took Beverly's hand in his own. "I trust you."

"Thank you," Beverly sighed as she leaned forward and kissed the man once more. She went to get up and grab her bag, but she barely got a step away before her husband was gripping onto her wrist tightly, his fingers digging into her arm hard enough to make the woman wince.

Beverly froze, a sickening feeling growing in her stomach once again but this time the fear was directed at her husband. She slowly turned to look at the man who was staring at the ground shaking his head.

"I just don't understand why you'd lie to me," he said before he looked up at Beverly with an accusing glare. Beverly began to shake her head, but the man ignored it and stood up, pulling her dangerously closer to him. "I heard you. You said the name Mike."

"Yes, my friend," Beverly insisted. "There was a group of us back then and-and we all made a promise to each other when we were kids-"

"You know trust is everything in a relationship," her husband persisted, his grip tightening before he released her in order to reach out and brush his hand against her cheek. Beverly couldn't help but move away ever so slightly from his touch. "You know it means everything to me, right?"

"I know," Beverly told him. "But this isn't-" "What?" her husband asked, letting his hand drop to his side as his gaze grew colder by the second. "Like the last time?" "I never cheated on you," Beverly tried to say as she leaned forward to comfort the man, but he was quick to grab her hair from behind, pulling her back and making Beverly gasp in pain.

"You're a bad fucking liar, Bev," he said behind gritted teeth, tightening his grip on her hair and pulling her down even more that she was bent at an odd angle. "You're not going anywhere, okay? I want you to stay right here and you're going to show me what it is you're going to do with Mike, okay?" He slammed the red head against the wall and Beverly bit her lip to hold back a scream of pain that was begging to escape.

"You're. . .you're hurting me, honey," Beverly muttered but he didn't seem to care. "No one else is going to love you like me, you know that right?" he asked aggressively, not noticing that Beverly had shakily brought her hand up to his cheek until she scratched him across the face. His hold on her instantly dropped and he yelled out in pain while Beverly stood up. Her eyes widened and she was quick to go up behind him, whimpering slightly as she whispered, "I'm. . .I'm sorry."

She didn't even have time to think before her husband was suddenly turning on her and hitting her with his belt as hard as he could. Beverly grabbed onto his arm and he gave her a deathly glare. "Don't make this fucking harder!" he growled and Beverly had to take in a shaky breath to try and calm her nerves. "Don't," she whispered, but it was too late. Her husband threw a punch that knocked her back so hard she fell onto the bed. When she turned around, he had begun to take his shirt off and Beverly felt as if she were going to be sick. Just when he was pulling the shirt over his head, Beverly thrust both of her legs out so that she kicked him back.

He stumbled back with a groan and Beverly tumbled off the side of the bed as she desperately tried to grab something. She could hear him running at her, so the red head grabbed onto a picture frame and threw it at her husband only for him to knock it aside like it were nothing. Just when he was about to grab her, Beverly got onto her feet with a glass vase in hand and smashed it against his head.

Her husband fell to the ground almost instantly and Beverly was quick to grab her things and rush out of the room. "You're nothing without me! You know that, right?" her husband yelled after her as Beverly ran down the rest of the stairs and out the door. She didn't even flinch under the touch of the rain and continued her way down the steps, placing her wedding band on top of the stair railing before walking away as fast as she could.

Beverly didn't know where she was going, the shock of what had just happened carrying her down the middle of the street. She couldn't even process the honking of the cars as she walked, her only thoughts on how she needed to get to Derry.

As she walked down the street, the rushing of water was enough to make her snap out of her senses. Beverly glanced to the side, her eyes instantly locking on the sewer drain beside her. For but a moment, Beverly felt as if there was something trying to break through the back of her memories, a voice screaming at the top of their lungs. She had never felt so uneasy than she did in that moment and Beverly was quick to walk away as fast as she could. She had to get to Derry was what she reminded herself.

Yet she couldn't help but look back at the sewer once more wondering why she felt more afraid of a sewer than she was of her now ex husband.

- - -

Birds and a weird fascination for the animals had always been a part of Stanley Uris' life for as long as he could remember. Something about them just intrigued the man and even to this day he would spend his mornings bird watching in his backyard, his cousin by his side more often than not.

Birds had become a constant theme in his life and the puzzle on the table in front of him was no exception. He stared blankly at an empty place before letting his eyes roam over the small pile of pieces he still had left. His gaze was calculating as he tried to solve the puzzle in his head, but it quickly disappeared as he looked up at the sixteen year old sitting by his side.

Greyson Uris had his gaze locked on his mother who sat beside Stan's wide Patty, the two women whispering between each other as they pointed at something on a computer screen. Stan watched Greyson for a moment, letting his eyes flicker over the messy mop of brown hair he had and the features of his face that looked so much like his cousin. He was without a doubt his cousin's son especially when it came down to his huge heart.

It was obvious by the way Greyson was watching his mother that he was worried and Stan gently nudged the young boy so that he turned to look at him. Stan gave him a soft smile before whispering, "Penny for your thoughts?"

That was enough to crack a small smile on the teen's face, but it flickered as he glanced back at his mother. "I just worry about her is all. She's been working extra shifts at the office the last couple of weeks and I know it's because she's trying to hide the fact she's a little tight on money right now. She keeps trying to act like everything's fine just for my sake, but I can tell she's tired," Greyson admitted, shifting his gaze back to Stan. "I know it's hard being a single mother, but she doesn't have to hide it from me. I just want to help."

Stan stared at the boy for a moment, a small sympathetic smile on his face as a flicker of sadness flashed through his eyes. He knew what Greyson was talking about. His cousin had been struggling to raise enough money to both keep the two up on their feet while also still giving Greyson the childhood she thought he deserved. She was tired and life was becoming heavier on her shoulders every day.

Stan blamed Greyson's father, the man having walked out on his best friend the moment he heard she was pregnant. He left her without a moment of hesitation and didn't bother helping pay child support or make an effort to be a part of Greyson's life.

He had tried once a couple of years back, but the bond between mother and son was unlike any other and Greyson who had been fourteen at the time hadn't hesitated to show the man to the door and tell him never to come back. His cousin had come to Stan crying that night over how sweet her little boy was and how much she loved him and Stan had only grown more respect for the boy ever since.

Greyson's father hadn't been in the picture since and Greyson didn't seem all too upset about it. For as long as he had his mother, he was okay. That's why he was always so worried about her because she was not only his mother but his best friend and had raised him on her own with a little help here and there from Stan and Patty. It had always just been Greyson and and his mother, so it was no surprise for Stan to hear about the boy's concerns.

"Well," Stan began once he noticed Greyson's gaze was back on his mother, "I think your mother just doesn't want to worry you is all. All she wants is for you to have a worry free childhood especially after what happened with her own parents. She doesn't want you to have to go through any of that pain like she did."

Greyson was silent for a moment before he looked to Stan almost hesitantly. "It doesn't mean she can't ask for help," he spoke softly. "All of this is just stressing her out and I don't even remember the last time I saw her genuinely happy."

Stan went silent at that and thought back to the girl he remembered growing up with compared to the woman he knew now. There was definitely a difference in her happiness, but when it came to Greyson she had never loved or cared for someone more. Greyson was what kept her from falling apart and the boy didn't seem to realize how much just being himself helped his mother through the hard times.

"I know it's hard, kid," Stan sighed as he put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "But the best you can do right now is stick by her side and hopefully she will come around. She needs you just as much as you need her." Greyson was quiet for a moment before numbly nodding his head and looking back to the puzzle. Stan took that as an end to the conversation and turned his attention back to the puzzle as well, a comfortable silence falling among the two.

It was minutes later before Greyson spoke up again, his happy demeanor back once again and the conversation from before way behind them. "Here it is," Greyson exclaimed triumphantly as he handed a puzzle piece to Stan who had been staring at a missing piece on the board in concentration.

Stan glanced at the boy before gently taking the puzzle piece and placing it in the spot. It fit perfectly and Stan looked back to Greyson before giving him a small smile, the action making Greyson smile wide in response. “This is why I keep you around," Stan joked as he reached out to ruffle the sixteen year old's hair. Greyson let out a small chuckle and smiled at the man before him, not noticing his mother's gaze from behind.

"Greyson," Y/N Uris softly called out from where she sat beside Stan's wife Patty who was currently scrolling through plane tickets on her computer. The sound of his mother's voice was enough to have Greyson turning to look at the woman and she smiled softly before saying, "Time to go, kid." Greyson instantly frowned. "Come on, Mom. Uncle Stan and I are almost done with the puzzle!" Greyson complained while Stan threw a small smirk in his cousin's direction.

Stan wasn't technically Greyson's uncle, but since Stan was pretty much like a brother to Y/N, Greyson had been calling him his uncle since he could talk. Every time he referred to Stan as Uncle Stan, the Uris cousins couldn't help but smile, and this was found true yet again as the corners of their mouths perked up slightly at Greyson's words.

"I know, Grey, and I'm sorry. However, it's already almost midnight and we've already been here an hour later than we should've," Y/N said, watching as Greyson winced slightly before giving her a shy grin. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice," Greyson admitted making Y/N chuckle as she looked at her son in adoration. The teen was quick to turn around to face his mother completely, a pleading look on his face as he looked at her. "Please, Mom. Just until we finish the puzzle? Come on."

Stan glanced at his nephew before turning around as well and giving his cousin the same pleading face her son was. The two boys then leaned in together and looked over at Y/N who narrowed her eyes at the two.

"You know I hate when you two do that," Y/N muttered as she fought back the urge to yawn. “That's why they do it," Patty chuckled while Y/N let out a small sigh. "Fine," Y/N gave in causing the two boys to smile and high five each other. "But let's pack the car up first. Then you can come back in here and finish the puzzle before we leave."

"Deal," Greyson agreed before he shot up off of the couch to go grab his things. "Don't finish it without me, Uncle Stan!" "Wouldn't dream of it, kid!" Stan called after him while Y/N watched her son race into the front hall to grab his things. Stan glanced over at his cousin and smiled as she walked over to him. "Some kid you got there, Y/N."

"I got lucky, didn't I?" Y/N whispered with a small yet proud smile on her face that Stan couldn't help but return. "We all did," Stan agreed causing Y/N to look at him. The two cousins smiled at each other and Y/N reached out to ruffle her cousin's hair. Stan was tried to lean away with a playful glare on his face and Y/N merely smiled before heading towards the front door.

"We'll be right back. Try not to miss us too much," Y/N joked as she winked back at Stan. The curly haired boy let out a soft chuckle and put a hand to his chest dramatically. "I shall try my hardest," he joked back and the two cousins chuckled before Y/N disappeared out the front door with Greyson at her side.

Stan shook his head at his cousin's antics before noticing his wife staring at him with a small smile on her face. "What?" Stan questioned, quirking an eyebrow at her amusingly. "Nothing. I just wish I had a bond like you and Y/N had is all. You two aren't even siblings and are closer than I was with any of my brothers," Patty spoke up.

"I've been lucky," Stan sighed. "Y/N may not be my actually sister, but she might as well be. After all, it's always been the two of us. For as long as I can remember, I've always had her." A distant look appeared in Stan's eyes before he smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "I guess we're so close because of how much time we've spent together and what we've been through especially with that son of a bitch she used to call her husband," Stan muttered. He was quick to shake the thought of him off and thought back to Y/N.

For a moment he thought he remembered a glimpse of them riding through town on his bike, her arms up in the air as she laughed and yelled for him to pedal faster all while Stan laughed and tried to pedal as fast as he could. However, the memory was quickly gone and for a moment he felt his hand hurt, but he ignored it. “She's my best friend," he admitted before looking over at Patty who was holding a hand against her chest as if her heart were about to burst from how adorable they were. Stan rolled his eyes playfully at his wife before looking back to his puzzle.

Knowing that was the end of the conversation for now, Patty went back to looking at her computer screen while Stan tried to mentally put the pieces where he thought they should go so that he could help Greyson once he returned.

"Should I just book it?" Patty finally asked, referring to the vacation the couple was wanting to go on. "You sure you can get away from work?" "It's summer. Why not?" Stan asked. "I'm sure Y/N wouldn't mind watering the plants and getting the mail for us. We could even have Greyson do it and maybe even pay him. He's been saving up for that new computer for his writing pieces you know." "Okay. We are Buenos Aires bound," Patty announced excitedly while Stan finally noticed that one of the puzzle pieces was missing. He was quick to look under the table and he sighed at the sight of the piece right underneath.

Stan was quick to get down on the floor to grab it and just when he had latched onto the puzzle piece, his phone began to ring. Stan stayed on the floor and glanced up at his phone through the glass table to see who was calling. However, as soon as his eyes latched onto the caller ID he couldn't help but furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

Maine? Now who could possibly be calling from Maine?

Stan sat up and set the puzzle piece down before picking up his phone and placing it to his ear. "Stanley Uris speaking?" he said. "It's Mike," the person on the other line replied almost instantly and Stan furrowed his eyebrows even more. Mike? "I'm sorry?" Stan said, hoping the man would elaborate more. "Mike Hanlon," the voice said and Stan swore his heart stopped beating completely. "From Derry."

It took but a second for Stan to make the connection of the caller to the Mike Hanlon he had used to be best friend with when he was younger. He had been a homeschooler and Stan suddenly got a flashback of an intense rock war with Henry Bowers and his gang as him, Y/N, and his other friends had saved Mike from the bullying he was receiving.

However, that one memory seemed to open up the gateway for all of his memories, everything snapping back into place in his mind like a puzzle that hadn't been completed in years. Stan could remember everything down to his life when he had lived in Derry, the summers Y/N would spend down there with him, the laughs he had with Bill and Richie and Eddie, the summer Y/N's parents had got a divorce and sent her to stay with him—Stan froze at that.

The summer of 1989. Now that was a memory he wish he still couldn't remember. Although not all of it he wanted to forget. After all, that was the summer he met Mike Hanlon, Beverly Marsh, and Ben Hanscom. That was the summer he and Y/N created a bond that made their friendship as strong as it was today. The bad memories was what he wanted to forget—the Neibolt House, the lady from the painting, It.

"Mike. God, sorry. Yes. Hi. I don't know why I. . .I didn't um. . ." Stan trailed off and it was then that he remembered something that he really wished he hadn't.

The promise.

Stan's blood ran cold at that memory, his whole body so numb that it was like he wasn't there in the moment even though he knew he was. He breathing was shaky and he felt the sudden urge to throw up. All he could feel was fear and he knew exactly why that was. But this couldn't be real. It hadn't been that long had it? There was no way.

"How long has it been?" Stan finally found himself asking, his hand gripping onto his phone tightly as his voice shook. "A long time," Mike admitted and the fact that he didn't tell Stan an exact number was enough to make Stan's stomach drop. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and Stan gulped as he pulled himself up onto his feet. He wasn't the same thirteen year old from that summer, but for some reason he felt like the Stanley Uris who had been too afraid to walk into the Neibolt without his cousin holding onto his hand.

Maybe if Y/N had been by his side right then instead of out by her car, Stan would've felt better, but for some reason he felt as if he couldn't tell her. They had never spoken about what happened that summer and if Stan hadn't been able to remember until Mike called them Y/N sure as hell didn't remember. He did not need her worrying about that right now, not when she had a kid to worry about.

"Twenty seven years," Mike finally said after a long silence, confirming Stan's suspicions and causing the boy to stumble slightly as he tried to stand back up. Thankfully Patty was too focused on the Buenos Aires trip she was finalizing to notice Stan and for a split second he wanted to tell her to not bother for he had a feeling they would never get to go on that trip together.

"It's come back, hasn't it?" Stan whispered, his voice shakier now so that he knew Mike had to have heard. "That's why you're calling." "It's starting again, Stan. Bad things are happening," Mike admitted while Stan squeezed his eyes shut in disbelief. It was like with each second that passed, he was becoming more and more consumed by his fear. This couldn't be happening. There was no way.

"Did. . .did you call the others? I mean what if. . .what if they don't come back?" Stan questioned, hoping that Mike would say someone wasn't coming and that he could stay home and forget this whole thing ever happened. All he wanted to do was take Patty, Y/N, and Greyson and keep them away from this whole thing. He wanted to keep them in this house, lock all the doors, and refuse to come out. All he needed was to have those three by his side and he would be okay.

"Everyone except for Y/N. But we made a promise, remember?" Mike reminded him, his words causing Stan to feel even more sick than before once he realized there was no getting out of this. He wouldn't be able to just ignore this and his thoughts flickered over to Greyson and Y/N, how Y/N would no doubt go back to make sure everyone was safe and how devastated Greyson would be if anything were to happen to her. Stan knew if anything were to happen to Y/N it would be because of his own cowardice and that was enough to make Stan feel even worse.

"How soon can you get here?" Mike asked. "Well. . .uh. . .I uh. . .I would need to do a few things. I would-" Stan muttered, his eyes closing once again as sheer panic and fear coursed through his veins. "Tomorrow," Mike decided for him and it took all of Stan not to throw up right there. "We don't have much time. I'll text you everything you need. I'll see you soon, Stan the Man."

Stan didn't even have time to respond before Mike had hung up, but the man didn't move and merely kept the phone up limply in the air with his eyes closed, his face pale as he stared blankly at the wall. He didn't even notice when Y/N and Greyson had returned, the teen hurrying over to the puzzle almost instantly while Y/N look to her cousin with a smile.

However, it disappeared at the sight of him and she was quick to go to his side and place a hand on his arm. "Stanley?" Y/N whispered, her soft voice making the man's eyes snap open almost instantly. "Are you okay?" Stan looked to her at that and Y/N blinked in surprise at the look that dawned her cousin's face. She had never seen him this way, never seen him look so afraid. What kind of phone call could make him that scared? "I'm fine," Stan assured her although his shaky voice was enough to make her narrow her eyes slightly at him as she tried to read him.

Stan just gave the girl a small smile which she knew was forced and gently took her hand off of his arm before holding onto it the same way they would hold hands when they were kids. He gave it the smallest squeeze and for a moment Y/N felt as if she were back in Stan's backyard when they were younger. watching birds fly by in the early morning. "Seriously," he whispered and Y/N gave him a look that said she didn't believe him but that she would drop it for now. Stan knew they would have to talk about it eventually if Y/N had any say in it, but little did she knew that they never would.

"Uncle Stan, care to do the honors?" Greyson asked as he looked up to his uncle with a small smile, holding the last puzzle piece up in the air. Any other night Stan would've told Greyson to be the one to finish the puzzle, but he was eager to take the distraction and get away from his cousin's calculating look. He went and sat beside Greyson and Y/N watched as Stan hesitated as he stared at her son, his eyes flickering over Greyson as if he were never going to see him again and was trying to memorize this moment right here. But before Y/N could send him a questioning look, Stan had snapped out of it and was putting the puzzle piece in its place, bringing the puzzle to an end.

It wasn't long after that that the two families found themselves out on the front porch saying goodbye. They were lucky enough to only live a few neighborhoods down, but for some reason Stan acted as if they wouldn't see each other for a long time and that was enough to give Y/N an unsettling feeling that she quickly pushed aside.

"Uncle Stan," Greyson said as he pulled away from Patty's hug to look to his uncle. "I was thinking maybe we could go to the bookstore later this week. You know how my favorite author is that Bill Denbrough guy, right? He's coming out with a movie soon and released a special edition copy of his book The Attic Room that I was wanting to pick up." Stan blinked in surprise, finally putting together why Greyson's favorite author had a name that had sounded so familiar. How had he not realized it before?

Stan suddenly got a memory of looking out the window to see Y/N and Bill walk up to his house hand in hand on the day they had made the promise, the two exchanging a small kiss that left them both with goofy smiles on their faces before Stan had teased his cousin endlessly about them. His eyes instantly flickered over to Y/N, trying to see if any sort of recognition flickered across her face at the mention of her first love, but there was none. She was too busy discussing some last minute things with Patty and hugging his wife to really pay attention and Stan couldn't help but wonder how Y/N would react upon seeing Bill again.

He found himself hoping that Bill wasn't married. After all, Y/N deserved to live a happy life and the Bill he remembered would have done anything to give it to her. If Bill was still the same Bill he remembered, then he would not only be a perfect match for Y/N, but a perfect father figure to Greyson. The thought was enough to put the smallest of smiles on Stan's face despite everything going on and the thought of Y/N, Bill, and Greyson finally getting to live a happy life after It was defeated was the only reassuring thing for Stan at the moment, the only thing keeping him calm.

Stan turned his eyes back to his nephew and smiled as he pulled the boy in for a hug. "Sounds like a plan, kid," Stan told him, knowing that he had to act as if everything were okay. Greyson was quick to hug his uncle back before pulling away, allowing his uncle to ruffle his hair once before he let his mother go to Stan.

Y/N stopped in front of her cousin, her eyes hesitantly flickering over his face as if she were trying to determine if Stan was actually okay or not. Stan could do nothing more than look at the girl, swallowing thickly as he knew she was going to be in for a world of pain and that he wouldn't be able to help her. He wanted to say he was sorry for being so selfish and to explain himself right then and there, but he knew he couldn't. Y/N would try to stop him and then his reckless actions against It would get her killed. So Stan just let himself take in the girl that stood before him as he struggled to hold back the tears that he knew were begging to break free.

Before Y/N could notice that, Stan was pulling her in for a hug, the action making Y/N chuckle and hug him back instantly. There was so much Stan wanted to say, so much he wanted to tell her, but he knew he couldn't. At least not right now.

"I love you," Stan finally decided on saying, the words being a normal between the two but something that held more meaning in that moment than Y/N would ever know. Y/N hugged her cousin harder at that before pulling away to look at the face of her best friend. "I love you too, Stanley," she whispered. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" She tilted her head her so slightly and gave him a grin that made his heart ache.

"Yeah," he told her, nodding despite the heavy feeling in his heart. Y/N smiled softly at that and reached up to ruffle his hair, not knowing it would be her last time. Stan didn't even try and pull away like usual and just enjoyed his cousin's touch before sending her a small smile which she easily returned.

Y/N then pulled away and began to walk down the stairs. All Stan wanted to do was pull her back and hug her again, but he knew it would only make her more suspicious than she already was. So when she turned back to wave at him and Patty one last time, Stan put on a fake smile and waved to her just like he did every other time she left. He would give her no indication that this would be the last time, no reason to hold her back from going to meet with the Losers. Y/N turned and whispered something to Greyson who smiled before wrapping an arm around his mother as they walked to the car. Stan couldn't help but smile at the sight, knowing that the two would be okay as long as they had each other.

And with that, Stanley Uris watched as his cousin got into her car and drove off, knowing that everything he was about to do was only so her and Greyson would be safe in the end.

- - -

"Bill Denbrough," Y/N muttered, confusion evident in her voice as she stared at the book Greyson was currently reading. Greyson's honey brown eyes instantly flickered to her, a small smile on his face as he brushed his brown hair away from his eyes. "Still the best author of all time," Greyson said as he sat down on his bed beside his mother. "His endings aren't the best, but they aren't bad either. I was hoping we could try and go see his new movie when it comes out?"

"Of course we can, kiddo," Y/N assured the boy as she got up and set the book down on his nightstand next to the printed copies of Greyson's work which were really just alternate endings to this Bill Denbrough guy's books, pushing aside her thoughts of how the name sounded so familiar.

That was the moment her phone decided to ring and Y/N sighed before taking her phone out of her pocket. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly at the sight of a number from Maine calling her and she glanced at her son who had already picked the book back up to read.

"I'm gonna take this. I'll come check on you in a little bit, okay?" Y/N said, knowing her son wouldn't be going to bed anytime soon since they had only just gotten back from Stan's. Greyson hummed in response and Y/N was quick to walk out of his room before pressing the accept button and putting the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" she questioned. "Is this Y/N Uris?" a voice asked and Y/N frowned ever so slightly as she walked down the stairs and towards the kitchen to grab something to drink. "This is she. May I ask who is calling?" Y/N asked. "This is Mike," the man explained and just when Y/N was about to question him further, he went on as if he had said it multiple times before. "Mike Hanlon from Derry."

Y/N stopped in her tracks at that and for a brief moment it was like she was standing in the middle of a blizzard, her whole body so cold that she could barely think straight. Her hands began to shake and she could hear her heart beating in her chest. Yet she had no idea why she was so scared all of a sudden. Why was she filled with so much fear? However, the fear began to dim ever so slightly as a sharp pain went through her head, images flashing by as she heard the distant sound of children laughing, remembering the feeling of splashing into water before playing chicken fight with the people she used to call her best friends.

She remembered them all only momentarily starting with the boy she was talking to right now, Mike Hanlon, the boy who had been homeschooled all of his life and who she had saved from Henry Bowers when she threw a rock at his head. She remembered Ben Hanscom, the boy who loved New Kids on the Block and would spend countless hours in the library researching Derry. She remembered Beverly Marsh, the fiery red head who was also the first girl best friend that she had ever had. Then there was Richie Tozier, the boy who liked to flirt way too much and say more crude jokes then one could count but who had a big heart when it counted most. There was Eddie Kaspbrak, the boy who had been like her brother and who she used to calm down during some of his little episodes. Of course there was her cousin Stanley, but she already remembered him.

And then there was Bill Denbrough. No wonder the name had sounded so familiar. She had known him. He had been her best friend and the boy she had crushed on for forever. Her shaky hands went up to her lips and for a split second she remembered a warm September afternoon and the feeling of a soft pair of lips against her own. However it disappeared just a quick, almost as if it were nothing but a dream.

How could she have forgotten about him? How could she have forgotten about any of them? How could she have forgotten about the Losers?

"Mike," Y/N breathed out in disbelief, a smile dawning her face as her fear was pushed to a back burner. "It's been so long. How are you?" "You need to come home," Mike said and Y/N furrowed her eyebrows but kept her smile on her face. "I'm sorry. What?" she questioned. “You need to come home, Y/N," Mike repeated and Y/N's smile fell from her face as the fear suddenly cane back although she didn't know why.

The girl winced as a sudden pain shot through her hand. Y/N quickly glanced down at her hand and didn't understand why she felt so sick at the sight of the scar that ran across her palm. However, she had a sneaking suspicion it was because she hadn't even known she had a scar on her palm up until that moment. "When?" she found herself asking, but she didn't ask the question that she was dying to know the answer to, afraid of what the answer might be despite not knowing it herself. "Tomorrow," Mike replied and there was a long moment of silence as Y/N tried to process everything. She honestly had no clue what was going on, but she knew she had to get to Derry. She wasn't sure why, but she just had a feeling and she knew her fear and queasy stomach would not relent until she was back in Derry.

"I'll be there," Y/N whispered, her voice shaky as she squeezed her throbbing hand shut. "Great. I'll see you there, Y/N," Mike's voice whispered in her ear and Y/N knew she should've been excited to see her friend after so long, but all she felt was another wave of nausea. She didn't even wait for Mike to hang up and did it herself before staring blankly at her phone.

“Fuck.”

- - -

"I don't understand. One of your childhood friends calls you in the middle of the night saying that you have to get to Derry which is in Maine by the way and you're just packing everything up and going?" Greyson questioned in disbelief, his eyes following his mother around the room as she frantically threw stuff into a suitcase. Y/N paused for a just a moment and gave her son a nervous look. "Yes?" she said in a questioning voice before going back to packing. She didn't know how to explain it to her son, how to tell him that she had made a promise that she didn't necessarily remember and that she had to get back. Hell, she didn't even know how to explain to him that one of her childhood friends happened to be the author Greyson admired so much.

"Mom," Greyson said and that was enough to have the woman looking over at him. The sixteen year old was leaning against the doorframe of her bedroom, his brown eyes staring at her in concern as he tried to read her, as he tried to understand despite just how tired he was. Y/N sighed and walked over to the boy who stood up a bit straighter. She gently took his hands in her own and stared at her son before saying, "Greyson, honey, I need you to try and work with me here. I honestly don't know why I'm going, but I have to, okay? It's a gut feeling. You just. . .you got to trust me on this." Greyson was silent for a moment as he stared at her and Y/N could practically see the gears moving in his head before he finally let up and gave her a tiny nod. "I trust you," he assured her and Y/N smiled before leaning forward to press a small kiss to her son's forehead. "Thank you," she whispered. "Now go finish packing your things. You can sleep in the car. It's a long way to Maine from here, kid."

Greyson nodded and was quick to do as his mother said, disappearing up the stairs to finish packing while Y/N rushed back to her own things. It wasn't long before they were loading their things into the car and Y/N had returned to her frantic state once again, completely forgetting about her cousin who had to have been going through the same thing as her at that very moment.

They were on the road less than thirty minutes after the call, but it wouldn't be until they were two hours into the drive that Y/N would realize she left her phone sitting on top of her bed at the house. It was that same phone that now had three missed calls from Patty Uris.

If Y/N had known what was going to happen once she got to Derry, she would've turned around right then. But she didn't, so Y/N just drove down the road, her nerves being enough to keep her awake while Greyson slept soundlessly in the passenger seat beside her.

Neither Uris knew what would be in store for them when they reached Derry and the horrors Y/N had witness twenty seven years earlier? They were nothing compared to what was ahead.

- - -

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[neo-culture-mafia]

Shattered Glory

It's been a year...a cold and miserable year without them. It was long and honestly felt longer than a year. It was questionably the worst feeling year too. It was dark and stormy even on the sunniest days.

Travelling from France to Spain...touring in Italy to ending up in Germany where you now resided. It was a crazy story on how it all happened. Sleeping on the sidewalk to dozing off in hostiles when you were writhing for the comfort of a bed.

Yet, somehow you always made do with what you got.

Germany was a peculiar place to say the least. It was wholesome yet entertaining. Your favorite pass-time was watching the citizens of Germany walk about their daily life as you tried to figure out their names and backstory. Watching as some walked their pets, held the hands of their lovers, or get thrown out of the cab they had called knowing they had no money to give.

You empathized strongly with the latter. You'd been living day to day on each penny you got, random people taking pity on the girl that sat outside of business not knowing where to go, or so they assumed. Yet, you were just practically unreadable to the common everyday citizen and passerby. You weren't unreadable to the ones who truly knew you; the wish to be becoming more evident.

Travelling for this long you had confronted the notion as truth: You weren't unreadable to those who you called family, but you were self-guarded. For it seemed easier to shut people out than let them inside your bubble where you were vulnerable and able to be 'hurt'. You weren't running for freedom...you were running because you couldn't bare the thought of you being a nuisance in their lives anymore.

...now you were to embarrassed to admit you need them now more than ever...you were too embarrassed to go back... ultimately believing you were just a keeper of time and not truly wanted.

But what you don't realize is that they're still waiting for you.

Your room is often visited where messages and letters become littered around the room. No one wants to admit they miss you to one another, but the tension can be cut with a knife during family dinners. It's almost as if something is missing from their hearts. It just hurts too much for some of them.

Most of them don't look at your seat, rather look down and peer through their peripherals where they imagine you sitting there, feeding some table scraps to the dog under the table and out of sight from the older members even though everyone knew you did it.

Yet, here you sat. Outside of a small cafe in Germany, watching the people go and come as they please.

You sat on an old metal chair that faced the dying side street with an empty cafe table on your right. The sunglasses sat on the bridge of your nose as the firey sun was taking refuge behind the tall building at the end of the street.

The patio was small but it held a comforting sanctuary to those who decided life needed a break. It was now occupied by you and what you presumed to be an older man on the opposite side. You both sat respectively at opposite ends of the patio yet faced each other, the only thing obscuring your vision from him was the local newspaper that you always spotted in the trashcan; covering his face entirely in an almost comical way. You yawned, putting your head back for a moment and basqued in the dying heat of the sun.

It was a special time of day. Where infants were hushed and put to sleep by their mothers while the wild at heart were just being awoken. It was a comforting time for most, a healing time for some.

You stared into the sky, wondering if anyone else was looking into the same spot you were. Maybe you weren't entirely alone.

Maybe- "Dejun was actually right," you heard from the other end of the patio. Your head snapped up at an ungodly speed and you stared at the only other logical source of a voice. The man's head was broadcasted into a beautiful silhouette in the crinkly paper. The rays of sun shot out like a halo, as if this was a sign this person was a gift from God, a savior from above.

"you really are oblivious to your surroundings." And with one swift motion, the paper was in the man's lap. It took a minute for your eyes to adjust to the smirk on the face of the familiar youthful and soft featured boy.

Your shoulders relaxed as you stared at each other.

"What are you doing here, Liu?" You asked quietly, not know what to say and how to say it. He shrugged, looking around the dispersing people of the small town in Germany.

"...eating some pastries...drinking some coffee..." He smiled a little, ripping a piece of his croissant to put into his mouth. Yet, his arm just stayed laying there, the crumbly and savory pastry become smaller from his anxious fingers picking away at it.

His dark and deep eyes kept admiring you and your presence through the dark curly locks of hair that's grown just a little too long. He just played with the part of his pastry to not seem desperate anymore. Clearing his voice, he still seemed like a kicked puppy begging for some relief.

"...wondering why you haven't hugged me yet..." His voice felt like it broke sound barriers even though it was quiet.

Your chest jumped at his statement. You quickly brought yourself down as you scoffed, looking around the streets. You sighed, standing up from the metal seat that felt like you'd been sitting in for hours. Housing your emotions and pain for the short time you visited the spot.

You walked the 10 feet in-between you both and took off your sunglasses. You clinked them down next to his still steaming cup of coffee that sat elegantly on a white coffee saucer. He watched your presence, savoring the way you looked and carried yourself; the weight of fear of you running off if he moved too quickly becoming stronger on his chest.

The newspaper was now long forgotten on the table as you held your arms open. He took the opportunity knowing that any one of the guys would kill to be in his spot right now.

He stood from his own metal chair and latched onto you. You didn't know how much you needed this. Affection. The thirst for family touch had been draining you and the guilt that once started to saturate your heart starting to dissipate.

Your arms latched together, encasing his shoulders in a tight hug.

"I missed you, sugar bean." He softly said and it hit a part of your heart that hurt. It hurt way more than you could explain. "...please don't call me that..." You whispered and he started moving side to side, rocking both of you on the rough waves of both bodies of emotions. "Too bad, sugar bean. You'll always be my sugar bean. And I haven't been able to call you that for...389 days." He admitted guiltily, as if there was a calendar etched into his mind and he had been counting the days to this very moment.

You couldn't help the couple of tears slip from your eyes. "Oh. Don't cry." He said rubbing your back slowly. "If you cry I'll start crying." He reasoned and broke away from the hug, yet you both knew that no one wanted to leave the warmth of family.

He just stared at your eyes for a moment. "My gosh I missed you." He hugged you again but this was more playful, as if you had never left in the first place. Yet, it was more meaningful than the first one. It was like he picked up where you both left off.

"You want some coffee?" He asked looking into the small local cafe where old couples shared their love as if it was their last chance. "Uh. Yeah. Here is like...ten bu-" You said as the fear and anxiety set in a little bit; heart pumping a little faster at the thought of the last of your money going to strengthen your façade. The façade of being stable.

"Don't worry about it," He said bumping your elbow a little, his smile flashing into your vision, "I got drinks this time." He said going into the cafe and straight to the counter.

You uneasily sat in the seat directly across from where Yangyang. The beat of your heart deciding to settle only a little. The anxiety was still strong as you started counting the crumbs on his plate one by one.

...28...29...30...31...32...33...34...35...36....

"Your coffee~" a saucer was set infront of you and you were met with a caramel colored liquid steaming in a flawless ceramic cup.

"And a little surprise..." Yangyang continued and sent a chocolate croissant down next to your coffee. "Croissants are the only good things here." He gossiped quietly and you laughed a little. "Good to know~" You reasoned and took a sip of your coffee.

You already felt full from the company of him alone.

"So..." He sighed, plopping back into the metal chair that decided to scrape the concrete beneath both of you as he sat. "...how's life?" He genuinely asked and took a sip from his own coffee.

You sat up a little bit, and opened your mouth, ready to spill on the great sights you've seen. Yet, once your eyes met his...you couldn't do it. It felt too selfish.

You closed your mouth, and continued to look at his face, trying to find something to say. Your shoulders released as you could only fall back into the chair~~ there was no where else to go.

"...life..." You reasoned and he chuckled. "Y/n. I know you feel guilty." He said, taking a piece of his own croissant and popping it in his mouth. "But...I want to know." He looked at you and you only saw his eyes go from stoic...to soft...and welcoming.

"We all do." He finished with a comoforting smile and you let a breath go that you didn't even know you were holding.

The sky seemed a lot more dim than when you first reunited...it seemed more...real.

You looked down to your lap as he took his glasses from where they hung on his shirt and threw them into his backpack. A small beat-up black bag sat at his foot and you could see the imprint of his handgun in the front pouch...protected...he's okay...

"Well..." You began and he folded his arms onto the table and set his chin down, looking eager for you to uncover what you've been up to; as if they were the biggest secrets in the universe...but to him...it was...

"It started on a cold morning in France..." You smiled, recalling the bitter cold morning of your first day of 'freedom'.

"It was as if the world was mine forever." You smiled, your hand holding your face as you dazed forward. "I saw the Eiffel Tower...I went to Art Museums...I ate food...I felt...free." you spilled and he on-looked happily. "Then as soon as I got bored...I went to Spain..." You said and he smiled, gaining joy from your experiences...or retellings for that matter.

You continued to tell him everything that has happened for the past year. Every new story he would creep closer to falling off the edge of his seat. It was as if he had been scratching for this for the past year. As if he hadn't been living before this serendipity of an encounter.

You talked into the night, your mind becoming more dark as the stories went on. What started off as a tale of freedom turned into a cry for help masked by a fake smile and words that could fool anyone.

"But...now I'm here...and don't know where to go anymore." You confessed, your chest dropping as you heard animals bustle in the distance and the foot traffic become more scarce. The only thing lighting you up was an overhead light of the shoppe.

He sat in the same position for what had been 2 hours now. The time being 21:42.

He sat up, taking a breath and looking at you. He just sat there for a moment, his arms crossing over his chest and his head cocked to the side. It was a silent stare off until he reached into his bag again.

You continued to look at the phone though, giving him the 'privacy' he deserved.

He began clearing his throat haphazardly. He rubbed his eyes as if something got into it. Yet, your peripherals watched on as his bottom lip trembled lightly.

"I...will support you...with anything you decide..." He nodded, and it looked like he was fighting himself on his own words. As if he wanted to swallow his words whole as to not speak these 3 choices into existence.

"Y/n..." He said looking at his phone that now was resting in the middle of the table. He went back to his 'desfensive' position and continued looking at you. "You have 3 choices...and I..." He started saying, but stopped.

"The first choice." He sighed, rubbing his face. The sleepiness setting in. "You go home. Back to Seoul. Back to everyone. Back to how it used to be-" he began but you shook your head, finally losing it. "It will never be the same, yang." You breathed and hid your eyes in your hand. It was silent as he watched you finally break.

Your softness squishing through the cracked hard exterior. You became silent as you kept the sob in your chest. It was the painful silent cry you had mastered of the past 9 months...after the freedom turned into loneliness.

Yet, the cry broke and your body shook as you kept your eyes hidden still. You felt his hand hold onto your arm and you felt a little more comfort.

You needed to get through the next two choices...just two more.

"Okay. Next, please." You asked as you wiped your eyes a little. He tried to sneakily wipe his own too, yet you saw it...you saw a tear roll down his cheek.

"Okay...the second choice. You stay with me for a little while here, and figure yourself out. I'll help you stay on your feet and it would stay confidential...just between me and you. And you can decide on your own if you want to go back or not..." He said and you bit your lip so you wouldn't break even more.

"Or...we walk away right now," he said and you shook your head as if you didn't wanna hear anymore. "...and pretend this never happened." He finished and you had to make a decision. Now...or never.

You sat in complete silence, just looking at each other for a minute.

"Can I see your phone for a minute?" You asked and he nodded, picking his phone up and unlocking it.

You grabbed it and went straight to the group chat between the whole family. No one had talked in months it looked like, but you knew the exact reason why.

You went to the photos section and saw all the funny and sentimental photos you and everyone had taken of eachother. It was bittersweet as you stared at the memories of what used to be.

A tear slid down your cheek as you let a laugh escape your mouth. Group photos were unveiled that you had actually forgot about.

A sweet symphony of memories whirled around your brain one by one; crashing like a million waves at once eventually.

You put the phone back on the table and looked to Yangyang who was already staring at you.

You stayed silent for a moment, looking at the dirty concrete beneath you both. "...we miss you, y/n..." His voice hit like a hundred knives. It was deafening even when he wasn't talking.

"Okay." You said a little too loudly. You jumped in your seat a little, making his figure leap in his own.

"I..." You trailed, the words on the tip of your tongue. "I...made a decision..." You said quietly. He leaned forward, hoping that you both would get on a plane tonight to surprise everyone back home.

"...well..." Yangyang tried to carry on the conversation as you sat still in your seat, not knowing how to cope with all these different emotions at once. This has never happened before and it was frightening.

You looked at Yangyang and said the words that changed the rest of time...

-------------

Final 2 parts coming soon

[alexboehm55144]

Alex Final Wars 2: Dark Alex, Chapter 19 - The Second Battle of Zootopia

After a long hiatus, Alex Final Wars is back! Why was it gone for so long? I was waiting for some awesome chapter artwork from Starwishermidnight! (https://www.deviantart.com/starwishermidnight)

Pretty cool huh?! I hope everyone enjoys that picture, and enjoys this action packed chapter! Lets jump into the fray with Heroes!

00000000000

The city of Zootopia occupied a key location on the US west coast, and it would certainly be a prime target for any force seeking to deal damage against the country. It was no wonder then that the Chinese had devoted a large number of mammalpower and resources to the city's capture. Although the city had the ZIA and ZPD for defense, it still relied on the US military.

Enroute back to Zootopia, the team had prepared to forcibly evict the Chinese out of the city. This was an all-paws-on-deck mission. Everyone had been given a combat role and an operational area that they would work in. Even Haida and Retsuko has been tasked with providing combat support over the radio. While they were glad to finally be doing more, the state of Zootopia still had the pair worried. Fabienne was also joining a Heroes team heading towards ZNN, where she would help some of her colleagues evacuate. She had been surprisingly calm, probably because she was an experienced reporter and had been in her fair share of war zones. The Typhoon was alive with activity as warriors frantically raced around the ship, preparing for battle.

There were sightings of Kion's Dark counterpart, but his location was unknown. US marines were already on site, defending the city. Multiple Heroes teams would join the US forces in a counteroffensive to push the enemy back.

Chinese ships occupied the bay, while fires burned all over the city, creating massive plumes of smoke. Chinese jets streaked across the skies, strafing machine-gun fire on any target they saw.

The Typhoon set down in a US controlled area, as everyone prepared to enter the fray.

"We've failed." Jack said, gathering up his gear. His ears were droopy and he was not preparing himself with the same determined spirit that he'd had in other missions. "Our job as ZIA agents was to keep Zootopia safe, and now the Chinese are attacking the city. We've failed at our foremost objective."

Skye nodded, and her face gave away the fact that she was also feeling the same burden of guilt that Jack felt.

"Don't say that." Toothdee said. "It's not your fault. You did all you could."

"There's no way you could have known this was gonna happen. Blame the people attacking the city, don't blame yourself." Nick said, putting his paw on his friend's shoulder.

"But now that we're here, we can make a difference." Judy said, maintaining the steadfast determination that she had since childhood.

A determined look came across Skye's face as she realized her allies were correct. The best way for her to serve Zootopia now, was stopping the Chinese invasion. "Your right, let's do this." The arctic fox clicked the safety off on her rifle.

After gathering up gear, weapons, and ammo, the heroes assembled in the hangar bay where vehicles had been prepared and fueled. Capitan Boehm cleared his throat and tried to rouse everyone's spirits, even though he was nervous. Dialogue was not his forte, but his friends could use a rousing speech, so he would at least try.

"Zootopia needs our help!"

There were whoops and yells from the warriors in the room. Each of them was eager to get out in the fray and give the Chinese a firm kick in the pants.

"We are incredible warriors, we can do this! We can beat them back!"

There was another round of cheers and the excitement in the room was palpable.

"Are you ready to get out there in the fray?!"

Everyone let out a battle cry and raised a fist or a weapon.

"Heroes, form up!"

Each individual team hopped in a truck or Jeep, and Alex opened the doors to the Typhoon's garage, letting the teams race out, going past US soldiers and heading to their predetermined areas.

Nick and Judy headed to ZPD HQ, while Skye and Jack made haste to the ZIA HQ.

Alex, Kion, and Jasiri were in a Humvee; driving to meet hostile forces head on. As Alex maneuvered the vehicle through abandoned cars and rubble, they passed by some civilians trying to get to safety. The captain went as fast as he could, swerving through the streets, narrowly avoiding obstacles.

"Whoa! Careful dude!" Kion said, holding onto his seat and watching a downed lamppost narrowly miss the vehicle. "Your gonna kill us before we can even get to the Chinese!"

"What? Do you want to drive?"

"Ugh, just don't send us careening off a cliff." Kion begrudgingly said.

"You know, between you and me, that speech went a lot better than I expected."

"You did great, I've never seen a group of people so eager to enter into combat."

"I am not good with words; it took me a moment to work up my courage."

"Ha! Bullets aren't a problem, but words are?" Kion laughed.

"You keep that to yourself." Alex jested.

The team reached a US tank on a main road, along with a group of US Marines that were taking cover behind concrete debris. A squad of Chinese soldiers was engaging the Marines and pinning them down, while the tank tried its best to beat the enemy back.

Hopping out of the Humvee, the team engaged the Chinese, downing a few before being noticed.

"Heroes?!" A US Marine yelled, clearly surprised.

Kion cut down 2 Chinese soldiers, while Jasiri gunned down 2 more with her pistols. The last few soldiers fell back, and disappeared from view behind a large pile of rubble that was blocking the road.

"We weren't expecting elite forces." One of the Marines said.

"What's the situation?" Captain Boehm said, wanting to get a grip on things and chase the Chinese out of the city.

"We're getting ready to push back, but the Chinese are still hitting us hard."

Suddenly a rocket streaked down from one of the nearby buildings and hit the US tank that was nearby. The vehicle exploded in a ball of fire, killing the crew inside.

"Take cover!" Kion said, prompting Heroes and the Marines to hide in a small shop off to the side of the road.

"Alright, you stay here and push forward with the other US forces once they arrive." Alex said to the Marines as he checked his ammo. "We'll act as the tip of the spear and make things easier for the main force."

"Roger that, good luck sir." A Marine said.

This was the job of Heroes. As elite forces, it was their duty to help their allies however best they could. The team headed into the back of the shop, and found a door with a staircase behind it. They began to make their way up, heading towards the location where the Chinese rocket had come from.

It was difficult to find a route through the tight and dark corridors of the building, but eventually the team reached another door, and they heard a foreign language on the other side.

The captain smiled and chuckled a bit. He loved it when a situation presented itself that allowed him or his allies get the drop on an enemy. Alex counted down. "3... 2... 1... Go!"

The trio burst through the door and immediately engaged the group of Chinese soldiers in the room. The rocket trooper that destroyed the tank was quickly gunned down in a hail of bullets, along with all the other hostiles. One soldier had been thrown back onto the floor when the opening door hit him, making him easy for Kion to dispatch with his blade.

"Hell yeah! That was awesome!" Alex said "Keep it up!"

Taking a look at their surroundings, the team picked another hallway and began to move down through it. In the close confines, Alex and Kion were cutting down many enemy soldiers with swords, while Jasiri kept laying down supporting fire with her pistols.

"We should get back to the street; those US soldiers need us." The hyena said, killing a bunch of hostile soldiers by performing a flourishing attack, in which she twirled and fired shots all around her, hitting anyone in the area.

"Agreed," Captain Boehm said, slicing a PLA trooper with his sword, and quickly followed up with 2 chi blasts to the heads of enemy troops.

"There's a stairwell over here!" Kion said, charging at a heavy weapons soldier and ramming his sword through his adversary.

Not wanting to leave the US soldiers on the street without friendly support, the group moved down the stairwell. They heard a commotion from the bottom of the building and looked down the center of the stairwell shaft. They saw a large group of enemy soldiers sprinting up the stairs from the bottom.

Kion took out a grenade and looked to his friends with a questioning expression. They instantly knew what he was thinking.

"We're gonna have to time this right." Jasiri said, as her and Alex took out grenades. The trio pulled the grenade pins and cooked them in their hands for a few seconds, before dropping them down the center of the stairwell.

Right as the grenades fell by the soldiers, they exploded, killing the Chinese troopers. The team were able to proceed down the stairs uninterrupted. They passed one trooper who, despite being critically wounded by the grenades, was still alive. The captain took pity and put him out of his misery, as he would have otherwise slowly died from his wounds. Even though the soldier was his enemy, Alex was still kind enough to show him mercy.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, the team was finally able to get to the street. The sky was hazy with smoke, and the setting sun caused an orange tint across the entire city. Rubble was strewn about the entire area, and the sounds of combat filled the air.

"There!" Kion said, pointing towards a group of PLA soldiers. The team engaged the hostile forces, while some civilians nearby fled for their lives.

Alex noticed a young cheetah, probably only 5 or 6 years old, standing in the middle of the ruined street, looking around. She clutched a stuffed cheetah in her paws, and while she looked scared, she wasn't crying or screaming.

Overcome with fear and determination, Alex charged forward towards the lost cheetah, cutting in half a PLA soldier with his sword as he ran. Kion and Jasiri provided cover fire, presumably also having seen the young cheetah and feared for the girl's life.

Reaching the young girl, Alex quickly pulled her to safety as his allies kept them covered.

"I'm gonna get you out of here, sweetie." Alex said, trying to sound soft and caring. "Do you think you can run?"

"Y-yes." The young girl said as she quickly nodded, her eyes wide. Jasiri reloaded and gave Alex a nod of confirmation that they were ready to provide suppressing fire.

"Ok, you be brave for me." The captain and the cheetah sprinted out of cover, and managed to get into an alleyway where they bumped into a group of ZPD SWAT.

"This young girl lost her parents, she needs to be escorted out of here." Alex said to the team leader.

"On it, sir!" The officer responded before speaking into his radio.

"You were very brave today." Boehm said, crouching down to the girl's height, as well as taking out a ration bar, and giving it to her. "These fine mammals are gonna get you back to your parents. What's your name?"

"F-F-Fuli" the young girl said, trembling. "F-Fuli D-Duma."

The captain stood up and gestured to himself. "Alex Boehm." He said, before running off to assist his friends.

As more US Marines, ZPD officers, and ZIA agents entered the area, the trio of heroes continued battling the PLA soldiers. Alex and Jasiri gunned down any enemy soldier they laid eyes on, while Kion deflected incoming bullets with his sword. Though they were outnumbered by enemy soldiers, they showed no fear, as they knew the Chinese were clearly outmatched.

The last soldier fell to Jasiri's shots, and the hyena blew the gun smoke off the ends of her pistols, before triumphantly stating "They weren't expecting elite forces!"

A truck of enemy soldiers pulled up, but was obliterated by machine gun fire from an approaching US armored vehicle. A ZIA agent ran up to give a report to the Heroes team.

"The Chinese forward base is just ahead!" The agent reported. "Thats where the Chinese fleet is deploying forces and coordinating the assault."

"Then that's our target. Let's go kick them out of Zootopia!" Jasiri yelled, rallying friendly forces, before they moved forwards towards the Chinese base. The large group of infantry was accompanied by light and heavy armored vehicles, and a few aircraft in support.

Three PLA soldiers, using grenade launcher turrets, engaged the US force, causing the marines to run for cover.

"I'll get the right turret." Captain Boehm said.

"Jasiri, you get the middle one, I'll get the left one!" Kion said, charging forward with his head down.

Bullets whizzed over his head and struck the rubble he was taking cover behind. He had to roll and move as fast as he could to avoid being hit. The lion managed to reach the turret and stab the operator with his sword, before turning it on another hostile.

Jasiri and Alex also had similar luck with their targets, enabling their allies to continue pressing forward. This assault was going smoothly, and Heroes were easily pushing back the attacking force. They were driven by the singular desire to stop the assault on their glorious city.

A Chinese helicopter moved in and opened fire, forcing Jasiri and Alex to engage it with their firearms. Kion used one of the commandeered turrets to engage the aircraft. Bullets struck the canopy and engines, cracking the glass and soon caused smoke to pour from the engines. After sustaining enough damage, the aircraft fell back, having trouble controlling its movement.

The US force had now reached the Chinese base. Vehicles, soldiers, communications tech, and other equipment were set up throughout the area. Chinese landing hovercraft were assembled on the beach, and 2 amphibious assault ships floated in the bay nearby.

The Chinese soldiers began to take cover and open fire on the incoming enemies, with the PLA vehicles doing the same. Even the turrets on the hovercraft joined the engagement.

As Alex and the team pushed forward towards a communications center nearby, friendly rocket troopers fired at the enemy vehicles with explosives. A US tank also destroyed some of the turrets on the hovercraft.

The communications center was filled with large servers and small military laptops set up on tables. Wires ran along the floor, and cooling fans in the servers created a slight buzzing sound in the area.

"Pull any hard drives and data you can get; knowledge is power." Alex said, cutting down a Chinese soldier, "Any intel is useful. Once you get it, blast everything else into scrap."

Jasiri and Kion went to work, ripping out servers and transferring files from computers, while Alex kept them covered, shooting any enemy that tried to interfere with their operation.

After Heroes had all the data they needed, Jasiri blasted the communications equipment with her pistols. Kion moved to slice through a computer server with his sword, but Jasiri stopped him and recommended unplugging the device to avoid the fate of Dark Laval. After a few seconds the communications center had been reduced to smoldering equipment that could never be fixed.

Chinese vehicles were still active, and the team settled on those as their next targets, as they were the most dangerous. Kion knew he couldn't do much damage to vehicle armor with his sword, so he looked around in a Chinese weapon stash. A smug expression crossed the lion's face as he found a rocket launcher. He quickly turned it on a Chinese tank and turned the enemy vehicle into a flaming heap. Alex jumped onto an armored personnel carrier and managed to pry the top hatch open, before dropping in a grenade.

The Chinese attack helicopter returned and launched a volley of rockets, making Jasiri run for her life as explosions rocked the ground behind her.

"Jasiri!" Kion yelled, turning the rocket launcher on the aircraft, before firing and ripping through its armor. The vehicle spun out of control and crashed onto one of the hovercraft, destroying the still active turret.

"YEAH!" Kion gave a middle finger to the smoldering wreckage. He was very protective of his hyena.

Jasiri spotted a Chinese surface-to-air missile site and quickly alerted her teammates to its existence. After gunning and cutting down a few Chinese soldiers guarding the site, the team of heroes was able to get close, and place primed grenades onto the missile launcher. As the trio quickly got clear, the grenades exploded, destroying the launcher.

Two Chinese attack boats pulled up to the shore, but they continued moving forward onto the beach. As the vessels emerged from the water, it was revealed that they had 4 tracks on the underside, that allowed the vehicles to leave the water and move on land.

"Uh... what the hell are those things?" Kion said as Chinese troops disembarked the craft.

"Whatever it is, shoot it." Alex said, following his own words, as a turret on one of the amphibious vehicles opened fire. The captain would have loved to figure out more about the vehicles, as he loved new technology. But unfortunately the vehicles were shooting back at him.

An enemy heavy-arms trooper, carrying a grenade launcher, opened fire, blowing up a US vehicle and killing many US soldiers. Alex changed his target to the heavy trooper, attacking him with his sword. The captain managed to get a few good hits on the trooper before he could react. Once the trooper did react though, he blocked Alex's sword with his grenade launcher. The 2 combatants got into a weapon lock, before Alex used the blaster on his sword to kill the soldier by shooting him in the face.

Picking up the grenade launcher, the captain noticed one of the amphibious vehicles moving backwards into the water. There was probably a driver inside, or maybe it was autonomous. Directing the grenade launcher towards the vehicle, a couple shots managed to disable it.

"Man I would have loved to get a closer look at that thing!"

Jasiri and Kion had destroyed the turret on the second vehicle, and managed to do enough damage to disable the craft.

A United States B-1B Lancer bomber and its escort jets flew over the Chinese ships, the bomber dropping its payload and obliterating the vessels.

The Heroes team cheered and raised their weapons triumphantly as they watched the vessels burn. But this moment of victory was cut short when Judy's voice came through the radio, filled with worry.

"Hello? Can anyone hear me?"

"Oh hey, Officer Hopps." Kion said, feeling pleased with his work "We just took out a Chinese base."

"ZPD reports that the tide is turning in our favor, Kion, but we've also got a confirmed sighting of your counterpart. We're heading to investigate now."

"Do not engage! This guy is dangerous. I repeat, do not engage!" Alex said, hoping the rabbit listened to him. "We'll come there and assist you."

The trio turned away from the burning ships and headed back into the city. Their cheerful mood had changed to a drive to stop Kion's counterpart, as they did not want him to cause anymore chaos. Zootopia was not free just yet.

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Well, I hope everyone enjoyed this new chapter! Next week, Heroes goes after Kion's counterpart. Until next time!