#it's been taking a toll on my body and I really wanna be productive but my brain hates me so much i cant

[rohansoutsidemydoor]

im really sorry for the lack of content and the poor quality shitposts I've been making (and the lack of it per se)

I've been feeling, not burn out technically, but just I wanna sleep so much but I really wanna do a lot of work at the same time.

my brain's been on autopilot for so long and I just can't rn

I'll be making as much content as I can still <3

[writingtoforgetreality]

Springing Forward (Helmut Zemo x Reader)

Request: hey there cathy! i’m a new follower and i was wondering if i might request a zemo x reader where it’s maybe pre ultron and reader’s family own a flower shop in sokovia and somehow through that they meet? idk i know it’s super random but i’ve got spring fever 😂 (by @msmarvelsmain), [Marvel-Masterlist]

Summary: Your family owned a little flower shop. You assisted every now & then. One day, your parents had departed for a while, a man entered the store & changed your life forever.

Words: 3,255

Warnings: fluff, soft!Zemo, it is so sweet, I promise, pretty sure I didn't use any pronouns :), no TFATWS spoilers (you’re welcome), (Y/F/F) = your favorite flowers, REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Spring was your favorite season of the year. Flowers started blossoming. Nature turned colorful again. Lush hues decorated the outsides. Your family owned a petite shop in the central of downtown in Sokovia. The store was your whole pride & joy. The façade was stacked with uneven, light grey cobblestones. The sign on top of the glass door was illuminated with a warm & congenial light. While you did not have that many guests, your regular customers supported you continuously. Helping out your parents had never bothered you. It was a family business. Your assistance was appreciated & the local citizens enjoyed whenever you served them.

Plants & flowers were your hobby. Somehow, they grew when you tended to them. You managed to flourish almost dead ones. That was one of your skills. Your handling with the people who visited your shop left a good impression. The earnings were not a fortune but you made do. The smiles of your pleased customers were enough to balance that out. Not even once had you been bad-tempered. If something bothered you, then you suppressed that negativity for the sake of your reputation. After all, it never had anything to do with the shop itself.

The mornings were your favorites. When the rest of the town was still fast asleep & the birds slowly awakened with rhythmical chirps. The slight breeze that touched your skin tenderly. The goosebumps erupting where your clothes did not cover you. Yet, you abandoned the thought of pulling over a jacket. As the hours ticked by, the sun would amplify, leaving you content with your tenuous t-shirt. Your parents had left town for relaxation. The shop would be solely yours for the upcoming days. Your little apartment was not far away from your workplace. The short walks back & forth were forever welcomed. During your lunch break, if your job & the weather allowed you that, you wandered through the narrow backstreets. Every corner was familiar but the small details that frequently transformed always fascinated you anew.

Years ago, you loathed leaving the country you were born in to start a new life here in Sokovia. Your parents were incomprehensibly overstrained with your whim that seemed to worsen daily. Friends were abandoned in the process of moving. The beginning in a foreign area was strenuous. Not only did it take a toll on you but on your parents as well. The loan enabled your family’s dream of owning their own shop. Independence was an indescribable feeling. Ever since, your fondness of this place had been increasing steadily. And while you would not exactly say that you had friends here, you definitely made a few acquaintances. Friendships would follow sooner or later. Besides, your work consumed almost all of your time. You lived to work & you worked to live. It was as simple as that. Your lifestyle functioned like that. It was exhausting, sometimes excessive, but you handled it just fine. Still, every now & then, you found yourself craving something. What that particular something was had yet to be discovered.

The delightful ringing of the bell whenever someone entered your shop reached your ears. It was early in the morning. Usually, the first costumers rolled in closer to lunch time. Not that you were complaining. Your body spun around, your apron getting stuck on an infinitesimal bump standing out of your oak wooden counter. Silent curses left your lips, too quiet for the stranger to hear. The struggles were noticeable & a presence approached you. You had yet to glance at the person but your delicate hands were busy with fiddling the fabric.

“May I?” a soft, accented voice spoke up & startled you slightly. Your eyes flickered up & locked with warm, chocolate brown ones. For a few moments, time stopped. Your heartbeat sped up. Something about this simple interaction let sparks burst. And when his lips turned into a gentle smile, you were gone for. Never before had something similar occurred. Especially not that quickly. It was obvious that you were staring a little too intensively. But his eyes did not leave yours, lingering just for a fraction longer. He had asked you a question. As an owner, you completely failed your task. You neither welcomed him in nor did you engage in a conversation. Coughing to hide the embarrassment, you averted your gaze & began.

“Welcome. Um, I’d really appreciate your help, thank you.” your voice wavered but it did not crack. His hands, covered by leather gloves, stretched out & he initiated the process of freeing you. The thick material that hid his fingers was offbeat. Average people tended to avoid gloves during this season. It was warm enough without them. Then again, this stranger did not strike you as average. This brief meeting was proof enough.

“There you go.” he commented after successfully liberating you. “As good as new.” he radiated a feeling that made you believe he was a well-spoken man. You were unsure how exactly you ended up with that conclusion.

“Thank you.” both of your hands reached to the hem of your apron, glancing down at it, checking for possible damages. But, as he alleged, it was perfectly fine. Another moment of silence went by, then you slowly returned to reality. You occupied your according place behind the counter. Back straightened & regained composure. “Apologies for my unprofessional behavior. I will ensure you a discount for your purchase. Right…what did you need?” your rambling was mortifying. Hiding your emotions was not necessarily one of your skilled characteristics.

“Please, do not bother with special treatments.” one of his hands raised in front of his chest, signaling that he was being serious. It did not change that, deep down, you felt poorly. “I was actually looking for…” a chuckle interrupted his speech. “I am uncultured regarding this area, truthfully. If you offer me your assistance now then the two of us are even.” the following wink made you all giddy. What was it about him?

“Okay, well…” your previous painstakingness was pushed down. “What is the occasion?” it was always surprising to gain new customers. His accent betrayed him a little. And what a sweet betrayal it was.

“A decisive meeting with a higher up. An efficient first impression would be convenient.” he enlightened you, choosing his words carefully. Well-spoken he was but that was manifested from the very beginning.

“Any preferred colors, types?” one of your eyebrows perked up. Moving your body around the counter & in the middle of the modest shop, you reacted unwillingly after brushing past his frame. Your shoulder barely grazing but enough to trigger uneven breaths.

“How does a common purchase for such an event look like?” you peered over your shoulder, a bit of amusement written over your features. While he appeared like a literate man, ten times wiser than you, this was a field you surpassed with ease. A quick glimpse on your forearm, where a barely functioning watch swathed your wrist caressingly, confirmed your previous assumption. There was still a load of time left until the shop’s actual occupation. You could bestow him your aggregate attention. The unnamed stranger absorbed your every word of your explanation. Your eyes sparkled with a newly witnessed enthusiasm. The fact that he did not heckle your talk during the entirety of your tour through the shop brought you desired satisfaction. He was the first person to display genuine interest in your employment.

“God, please excuse me trailing off. I did not intend to bore you.” all of a sudden, your energetic self switched to an insecure one.

“I can assure you that you did not bore me. Not for one second.” his affirming smile calmed your incertitude. Together, the two of you picked up various individual flowers. A compiled bouquet would portray him in the best light. Your hands moved on their own. You could still hold a conversation with the man on the other end of the wooden table. It separated the back of the shop from the front, main area. His fascination for you expanded by every further move you performed. Lastly, you wrapped the ends of the stems with a fine, almost sheer paper. To secure everything & hold it in place, you braided a ribbon that matched the color of the textile.

“All done.” you showcased the finished product to him, a small, gratified smile adorning your face. “What do you think?” the question was almost shy, it needed reassurance. Which made him ponder why you were so doubtful of yourself & your abilities. To him, you prepared the most gorgeous bouquet he had ever caught a sight of.

“Plainly astonishing.” his praise warmed you from deep within. “You really do have an unbelievable talent.” you thanked him quietly, eyes flickering down to avoid his intense stare. By no means was it displeasing or inadvertent. It was sweet & thoughtful. You wanted to extend his stay, fearing that this would be a one-time interaction. But you could not remain on this high you were currently experiencing. The sound of the entrance bell fetched you back to the present. Another customer that needed attendance. Your togetherness approached an undesirable end. Controlled fingers punched a well-rehearsed pattern into the cash register. The blue numbers flashed for the man in the coat to see. Gloves & a fur-coat during spring? He was the only living soul you had ever met that made it work.

A wallet was pulled out of his pocket. Fine fingers retrieved the money. A beat went by. Two. Almost like he wanted to savor the little time you two had left. But your duties called. He would not use up any more of your duration. Maybe he had already overstepped & his appearance was no longer welcomed or appropriate. The notes were handed over. Your movements like a slow motion scene in your favorite movie. The scenery grasping your every bit of attentiveness. It was something you wanted to remember. To think back & hope to perceive that same feeling you experienced during the first time. You reached for it. The moment his clothed hand touched your smooth skin stilled the world once again. The gentle brush of his thumb over the back of your hand could have been missed if it was not for your body to be this alerted.

“Thank you for your exceedingly helpful guidance, …?” his eyes looked up at you sheepishly. You knew what he was intending. It was a silent question for your name. And you were more than eager to comply.

“(Y/N).” it was short, adequate. His smirk held a deeper meaning. What it was exactly, you could not identify.

“Why, thank you, (Y/N).” his emphasis was on your name. The way it rolled from his tongue was mesmerizing. You found yourself craving to hear that sound constantly. But you were not even sure if it was naïve to hope for his return. He would exit any second. Leaving behind a pit only he could fill. Your train of thought converted into utter despair. He was your customer. Nothing more. Nothing less.

“You never told me your name.” you called out when he was almost out of the door. One last time, he glanced over his shoulder. The fur tickling his chin a bit. One last time, you studied the way his lips lifted. One last time, you believed.

“Helmut.” he replied. “It was nice meeting you.” his hand pushed the door open. His body moved through the doorway. As fast as he entered your life, he left just as quickly.

“You too.” you whispered but he was no longer here to listen to your words. Your face fell, the previous spark in your eyes completely gone. The person in front of you waited until you paid all of your attention to them. It took a lot of effort but you managed in the end. The only difference was that they were not him. Nobody would ever be him again. But he vanished. Like dust in the wind, blowing away his remaining scent that had filled your nostrils.

Was it possible to crave a person you barely knew? Your subconscious sprinkled salt in your wound. Brains could be ridiculous. Nonsense. The teasing of your dreams, in the dark of the calm night, was echoing. Ricocheting off the walls that kept your emotions buried inside. Similar to being the main character in a horror film, desperately looking for a way out but being trapped no matter what. Why were you reacting like that? Why did Helmut waltz into your shop without any restrictions, turning your entire life, your entire world, upside down? He was one mysterious man. Uncommon, remarkable. Someone who swept you off your feet by simply being. One charming smile & you were gone for. The first words he directed to you & he gained you wholly. The worst part of it all was that he had no idea what he did to you. He had no idea that your thoughts were solely revolving around him ever since his entrance to the store. His entrance to your heart. What was happening to you? You had to move on, that much was clear. Truth was, you abominated that thought. Your focus had to shift. Back to your work, back to your task.

The following day started off with a bad mood. Certainly, the upcoming hours would be draining. You could not allow the shop’s closure. Not even for a day. Your family’s existence depended on it. Everything was the same. Chirping birds, a cool breeze, a short walk. The peacefulness before customers visited. Yet, everything was not the same at all. Because there was this nagging feeling inside of you & you knew you could not get rid of it. The ringing sound caught you off guard. It was unusual. Only once had someone entered this early in the mornings. And this one time was yesterday. Your shock was visible. Helmut’s presence was unexpected but definitely not unsought.

“Helmut?” your voice was an octave higher. The excitement emitting from you.

“Good morning, (Y/N).” he strutted closer to you. The same gloves, the same coat. The same offbeat & arcane man.

“What brings you here today?” your head tilted, trying to find a possible explanation for his return. “Wait. Was the bouquet improper?” immediately, thousands of dark, negative thoughts were rushing through you. You did your very best with the flower’s arrangement. Never before had you spent this much time & effort.

“No, not at all.” one of his hands raised & rested on your shoulder, squeezing the tiniest bit. You had to take a deep breath in order to stay calm. As calm as it was possible with him around. “The exact opposite. Which is why I am here again. Could you assist me once more?”

“Of course. What were you envisioning? Who are the flowers for?” your elbows propped onto the countertop, gazing lovingly into his orange shining brown eyes.

“I meant to ask for your favorites. You strike me as one with fantastic taste.” Helmut certainly had a way with words. No matter what he said, you found yourself captivated by him. The topic could be dreary but he made it sound fascinating.

“My favorites? It’s tough to choose one when there are so many stunning options.” you quieted down for a few seconds to really contemplate your answer. It was flattering that he asked for your opinion. “If you make me pick then I’d say…hmm, probably (Y/F/F).”

“Perfect. I would like to purchase a bouquet then.” right away, you got to work. Helmut watched your skilled hands. His enthusiasm only died down when he saw the frown forming on your face. “What is it?”

“Huh?” you were in your thoughts. His question was almost missed by you.

“That frown. Where is it coming from?” only Helmut could be so straight forward about such a small detail he had noticed. Would you tell him the truth? You should not. He did not need to know that your mood turned sour because he bought more flowers. This time, he did not let you know about the purpose of them. Another dinner with a higher up? Highly unlikely. But not entirely impossible. You assumed he would gift them to a woman. Hence why you sidestepped his question masterly.

“I believe it happens when I’m focused on my task.” you hoped your smile was reassuring but Helmut saw right through you. In the end, he did not comment on it. There was a building tension between you two. This time around, there were no lingering touches. He left the shop once again & it was clear that this was it. Helmut would not come back again. And maybe it was for the better. Your heart was too fragile to be crushed by his bare hands. It was not fair to blame basically a stranger. He had a life you had no insight on. But the aching could not be ignored.

Just as you wanted to lock the door to your shop for your lunch break, a voice reached your ears, followed by hurried footsteps. Turning around to look for the cause of it, you were shocked for a second time today. It was Helmut. The same bouquet he had purchased earlier clasped in one of his hands. The other one balanced two cups of coffee. As much as you wanted to withhold your smile, it was inevitable to repress.

“(Y/N)!” he was slightly out of breath. “I expected you were gone already.”

“Good that your expectation was wrong.” the warmth that filled your body was endearing.

“Here.” he handed you the flowers & your eyebrows furrowed. “For you.” he explained further when you made no move to reach for them.

“Why?” you inquired but grabbed the bouquet from him anyway. His posture relaxed & the grip on the cups was more secure.

“May I invite you on a walk through the town?” he suggested shyly. “I brought you coffee. I do hope it is after your liking?” the last part was a question. A sign that he doubted himself the slightest.

“I’m sure it’ll be delightful.” you eased his mind immediately. The cup was placed in your other hand. “Could you wait here for a minute? I should put them in a vase.” he motioned for you to go ahead. Your heart was doing backflips. It all fell into place now. You pieced everything together. He asked for your favorite flowers earlier today because he intended to give them to you. His plan was to spend your lunch break together. Helmut really went out of his way for you. His efforts were mellow. Returning outside once again, he patiently stood in the same spot. The softness of his features were rare on a man like him. You had met people similar to him but he was different. Helmut was that type of many who bought you flowers & made time to spend more with you.

You knew the town by heart. So did Helmut. But exploring the beautiful spots together felt like you were espying every corner, every building, for the very first time. Conversation flowed easily. Laughter was shared, loving glances were exchanged. He gave you a feeling of belonging. Like you were supposed to be right here from the very beginning. It felt right. With a man like him on your side, your life quality would finally improve. Helmut would be the one to quench your cravings. And you would not want it any other way.

Published (05/04/2021) by Cathy

✨MY Ko-fi PAGE✨

Tags: @takacsgram, @hiddlestoner-cumberbitch, @bibliophilewednesday, @yallgotkik, @noavengers, @lieutenantn, @birdieofloxley, @aisling1985, @trelaney, @sebastian-stan-d-on-my-throat, @thewinterrbucky, @loveinthemadness, @princess-yuna (thanks for your support <3)

[psychicdreamfriendoperator]

I feel bad for clogging up your ask box but I really wanna hear more of your headcanons you have😭😭do you have any about hino? Like about how he is, his personality, etc. Paru not developing him more was a crime

Potential Triggers

child exploitation / mention of child exploitation

insomnia / mention of insomnia

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Don’t feel bad— including the ask you sent last time, this is only the 4th ever ask I’ve gotten on this blog!

In any case, answering asks is a lot of fun 👉🏾👈🏾

For some of these headcanons, I took several . . . creative liberties — after all, Paru gave us crumbs regarding any Shishigumi member that wasn't Ibuki or Agata :'D

Hopefully this is what you meant! If it wasn't, feel free to resend the ask!

— Psychic

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History

“Looks bring jobs.”

That was the message Hino’s mother instilled in her son.

As a sex worker, her appearance was her everything.

Her beauty and charisma allowed her to cherrypick wealthy clients; their dirty money funded her lavish lifestyle.

When she grew older, and when life in the Black Market began to take its toll on her youthful appearance, Hino's mother saw her son with new eyes, and in those eyes, she saw an opportunity.

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“Hino, you're such a pretty little thing.”

Her hands caressed his cheeks, and she pulled the skin there, pulling Hino’s eyes up towards her.

She hummed beneath her breath, a guttural noise. “I've always said that you have my looks and none of your father's, you know.”

“Hah...” Her grip tightened.

Long digits combed through his mane, curling and pulling gently on the smaller hairs. His mother's gaze seemed to wander over his body, and her eyes shone.

“We're going out tomorrow, Hino.”

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Hino was rented out as if he were a party favour.

He was exotic . . . male lions with such handsome colouring were a rare delicacy— he grew up hearing those words.

One day, he didn't return home.

He had been scouted, and then swiftly recruited by leader of the Shishigumi, who recognised that the boy could be useful to the syndicate.

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Personality

Hino typically adopts a suave, yet charismatic persona when interacting with clients or animals who are not part of the organisation.

His true personality is more withdrawn and is filled with self-loathing for the childhood and young adulthood he will never be able to get back.

He feels very detached from everything some days, and his insomniac episodes do little to help.

Still, Hino is a loyal member of the Shishigumi.

He considers the inner circle of the syndicate to be the family he never had— even after acknowledging the criminal nature of it all.

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As horrid as his past was, he still led a reasonably charmed life, and sometimes, his behaviour reflects this.

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Hobbies, Skills

Hino has become the unofficial mane-stylist of the Shishigumi.

He also applies all of his own make-up; both skills are leftovers from his younger days.

Free also convinced Hino to give motorbike riding a try— the latter seems to be a natural at it.

As for hobbies, he prefers activities which require little to no energy, or activities that are repetitive.

Reading, and casual videogames such as Beast Crossing, Harvest Sun and Starmist Ravine are all very popular with him.

Recently though, he's taken up bullet jouranling and watercolouring.

He would love to take up sewing as well but he'd have to find the time for it.

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Quirks, Odd Habits

Hino’s voice hardly ever goes above a purr. It's a force of habit, as well as what's most comfortable for him.

Whenever the Shishigumi kill someone, Hino's the one that divides whatever loot they find among the others.

Speaking of looting, he also steals any antiques or similar valuables he finds in a target’s residence.

He's found quite a few good things this way— a mirror, some wine glasses and even an old sewing machine.

He's also a bit of a pillows collector: he has many types, almost all of which are differing shapes, colours and lengths.

Hino has difficulty falling asleep, but once he does, he can sleep just about anywhere.

It isn't uncommon for him to fall asleep on a sofa and end up with half his body on it, and the other half on the floor.

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Contrary to popular belief, Hino is not very self-absorbed at all.

Common Misconceptions, Miscellaneous

He has a resting bitch face; he doesn't hide it within the Mansion, but when conducting business, he makes an effort to do so.

He does the bare minimum to keep himself looking “presentable”, and often uses as few products as possible.

Playing up on his natural beauty, and yet not dolling himself up too much is a delicate balance.

Moreover, Hino also doesn't wish to grow dependant on any products— he's seen what that type of dependency can do to a person.

People also tend to assume that Hino is sexually active; he isn't.

His youth really turned him off of sexual relationships, for obvious reasons.

This may come as a surprise, but Hino still keeps in touch with his mother, and even sends money to assist with her living expense.

He does not want any proper relationship with her though, and for the most part, he keeps in contact because he feels obligated to.

As horrible as she was to him, he still considers her to be his mother.

And, by paying for her lifestyle, Hino hopes that it discourages his mother from taking a child off the street and exploiting them as she did to him.

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Romance

Hino doesn't give a damn about appearances.

To him, the most pleasant part of a person is their personality, their thoughts, and the way they view the world.

At the same time, he doesn't wish to burden a future partner with his trauma.

It will take him a long time to open up fully about the life he led as a child.

But once Hino has opened up to you, he becomes more outwardly affectionate.

Sex is okay, but being able to hold his partner — or be held by them, is something that the lion absolutely loves.

Patience, understanding and empathy will go a long way.

[kanonsarchivedblog]

Redemption

Author's Note: What if Mayuri Kurotsuchi died during the Thousand Year Blood War? Who would take over the role of Captain of the Twelfth Division? This is an answer to that in the form a redemption for Urahara Kisuke and the Captaincy that had been wrongly stolen from him.

Word Count: 4,767

Characters: Urahara Kisuke, Hirako Shinji, Kyouraku Shunsui, Shihouin Yoruichi, Otoribashi Roujuurou, Kurotsuchi Mayuri, Akon, Kurotsuchi Nemu

Ship(s): Hirako Shinji/Urahara Kisuke

Setting: Post-Thousand Year Blood War

Warnings: Major Character Death

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You can’t have peace without a war, that’s how the saying goes. It spoke true; the Seireitei, while in shambles, was calm. Peaceful. The sound of hammering in the distance, of laughter and voices calling out to one another. Rebuilding, slowly but surely- with the aid of Shinigami and civilians alike. And the occasional Arrancar. The dead were still being retrieved from the various fields on which battles took place upon. Last time the toll had been released, they were well into the hundreds. A devastating blow to them all- on both sides.

It was difficult; so many young Shinigami had been killed, but so had many young Quincy. Too many, truthfully. Some of their own Captains had been casualties of the war: Head Captain Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto had been one of the first to be slaughtered before their very eyes. Aside from him, the entire first division had been killed- all one hundred and six members, in the very beginning of the war. Following this had been Fourth Division Captain, Retsu Unohana- all for the sake of getting Zaraki Kenpachi to learn the true name of his sword and release his bankai, something that had nearly killed him. Their beloved Thirteenth Division Captain, Jushiro Ukitake had been killed somehow. Very few knew the truth of the matter-

That he had become the new Soul King. That, since birth, he’d been doomed to take over when the time came. A ticking time bomb, of sorts. But to the rest of Soul Society, he’d been another casualty of war.

Many others had nearly died; Captain of the Third Division, Ōtoribashi Rōjūrō, Captain of the Ninth Division, Muguruma Kensei, and both the Captain and Lieutenant of the Tenth Division, Tōshirō Hitsugaya and Rangiku Matsumoto, had all become members of the living dead due to the the Sternritter Giselle Gewelle’s ability. Captain of the Sixth Division, Byakuya Kuchiki, had nearly been slaughtered by the Sternritter Äs Nödt. For all intents and purposes, the Lieutenant of the Third Division was dead, and yet he still walked: Izuru Kira, who lost not just an arm, but a lung and portions of other organs after having a hole shot through his torso. Their new Captain Commander, Kyōraku Shunsui, had lost his left eye and part of his left ear, as well as having a hole shot through his sternum, nearly killing him.

Many others had been injured just as grievously. But that was what war did. It took and it took and it took until there wasn’t anything left to take. War was greedy.

One other had been taken from their ranks. Mayuri Kurotsuchi, the Captain of the Twelfth Division, had been killed during the battle. Details were still coming in, but from what was known, he’d sacrificed himself in the final moments to save his greatest creation, Nemu Kurotsuchi, his artificially created daughter. It seems that even the coldest and most detached of people could, in the end, redeem themselves and save those who they held closest to their hearts. It was certainly interesting to hear.

After all, when Urahara Kisuke had been Captain of the Twelfth, Mayuri had been a right bastard to deal with. He could still remember that day he pulled him out of the Maggot’s Nest, and the following years. How they had worked well together, even if the bickering was nearly constant, as well outright insubordination.

Many would grieve in silence for those that had been lost. The Fourth Division was busy; Isane Kotetsu was now the defacto Captain. She was young, but strong, resilient. She would survive.

Somewhere within the Division sat Rose and Kensei, sharing a room. Izuru Kira had his own room- something that was necessary, given the extent of his injuries. Kuchiki Byakuya was being treated at the Kuchiki Mansion; Kyōraku Shunsui, at the Kyōraku Mansion. Somewhere below them, Aizen sat, chained back up.

Kisuke sat in the bed, studying the way dust danced within the sun’s rays that spilled through his window. He wasn’t injured, not really; Benihime had made sure that her master would be pieced back together completely. All that was left of her work were the thin, surgical stitches that stretched down his face, across his knuckles, over his joints. They didn’t hurt. At least, he didn’t think they did. If there was pain, he was numb to it.

He supposed he owed his thanks to Grimmjow for saving him. He’d thank him later. Right now, the Pantera was hunting for a certain Shark that sat within one of the many, many cells beneath Soul Society. He was accompanied by a Ram and a Wolf.

He could thank Mayuri for saving the Wolf. Coyote Starrk had been a savior. A sharp shooter and a hidden weapon in Hueco Mundo.

There was also Kurosaki Ichigo. That kid deserved all of their thanks, and more. Without him, they’d all be dead. He couldn’t help but wonder where he was, right now. Back home in Karakura Town? Or here, lingering with those he’d fought beside?

Slate hues closed, listening to the hammering and calling. To the sound of laughter and weeping. Of birdsong and creeping silence. He was tired. More so than he’d ever been in his life.

But now was not the time to rest, not with the figure lingering outside of his door. Five minutes, Shinji had been standing there, reaching for the door and dropping his hand, only to reach again. A sigh escaped Kisuke as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Come in, already!” He called, amusement shining in his words.

The door opened, and the blonde made his appearance at last. “Didn’t wanna disturb yer beauty rest, your highness,” he teased, lips quirking up in a crooked smile.

Kisuke could remember the first time he’d seen that smile. “I think I’ve had enough beauty rest to last a lifetime,” as if to prove a point, he stretched his arms up over his head, listening as various bones popped and creaked, as if singing a song of rest. “You aren’t here to give me the latest gossip, are you, Hirako-san?”

A shake of the head. “I wish I were,” Shinji sighed, closing the door behind himself as if that would give them any privacy. It wouldn’t, but it was certainly the thought that counted. “We were called in for an emergency meeting. Y’know how… Bad everything is right now.”

“You’re down three captains, and the new Captain Commander is on mandatory bed rest.” Kisuke answered with a shake of the head. “You’re fucked.”

“And now in the fun way.” Arms crossing over his chest, Shinji grimaced. He was still in pain, too, it seemed.

Not surprising; he’d taken quite the beating as well, from what he’d heard. “I have a question to ask you.”

No, the Soul Society will not get a discount on any products they purchase at the Urahara Shoten.” A joke, though it seemed to fall flat. “... What is it?”

“You know Kurotsuchi-taichou was killed.”

“Yes.”

“They’re without a Captain now.”

Slate hues widened before narrowing, understanding quickly settling in. This was the one thing he had never been prepared for. “Nemu could act as defacto Captain.”

“She can’t. She’s a child again.”

“Of course she is.” Damn Mayrui. “Akon?”

“Doesn’t have a Bankai. Or a Shikai. At least, not one that's on record.”

“Of course he doesn’t. Of course Mayuri would keep all of his underlings under a careful watch and not allow them to progress. Of course he would. He never did think about anyone but himself.” A bitter laugh slipped free, one full of anger and mourning. A scarred hand reached up to rub at pale blonde hair. “What are you asking, Shinji?”

“You know what I’m asking, Kisuke.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

A pause. Shinji sucked on his teeth, lips pressing taunt. “The Captain Commander wants to know if you’ll step in and take over the position of Captain of the Twelfth Division once more.”

A bark of laughter escaped Kisuke as he tossed his head back, baring his throat and chest. He knew this was coming. But to hear it spoken aloud? It made everything suddenly so real. “Central Forty-Six is going to disagree.”

“It’ll be overridden. We’re down three captains and Soul King knows how many Shinigami.” Shinji’s lip curled into a scowl as he shook his head. “We’re fucked.”

“We’re fucked.” Kisuke agreed softly, gaze slipping from Shinji to study the floorboards. “Whose idea was it?”

“It was agreed on immediately that you were the only one who could take over the Twelfth and not accidentally kill everyone.” The humor in Shinji’s tone brought a smile to both of their faces.

“You’re not wrong there.” A pause. “... I have some conditions, then.”

Shinji waved his hands. “Save it for the official meeting. Shun’s calling it in three days time. We’re all to attend, no matter what it takes to get there.” He pushed away from the wall and turned. “I’d love t’stay and all, but I gotta make sure my Division isn’t all dead.”

“You make a good Captain, Shinji.” Kisuke murmured, watching as his back tensed, as his head raised. “You always have.”

“... Get some rest, you ogre.”

The door shut, and he was alone with his thoughts once more.

━━━━━━━

Three Days Later

━━━━━━━

The meeting did not take place within the Captain Commander’s hall. The First Division was still being cleaned of bodies and blood. Instead, it took place within the halls of the Kyōraku Mansion. The grounds were lovely, sprawling, teeming with deer and birds and streams. It was easy to see the wealth and prestige that came with the name.

But it was nothing compared to the Shihōin estate that Kisuke had grown up on.

Speaking of, Yoruichi had joined him. He’d requested she be allowed to attend, and lo and behold, his request had been approved. The past three days, he’d been talking with her and Tessai, deciding on their plan of action.

Now, it would come to fruition.

“I know this isn’t the First Division, but it will have to make do for the time being.” Shunsui spoke, breaking the idle conversation that had been occurring and drawing all attention to him. He wore the Captain Commander’s coat, but beneath was a simple violet yukata- loose fitting to accommodate the bandages that wound around his torso. His head was still bandaged, as well.

No one looked to be in good health. Across from him sat Rose and Kensei, both of who looked uncomfortable. Rose was bandaged around his middle, as well. Kensei’s color was still returning to normal. Behind them stood, or in Kira’s case, sat. Kira didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. He didn’t seem to be paying attention. Hisagi looked ready to pass out at any given moment.

No one else was any better, aside from perhaps Isane Kotetsu. Akon stood behind the empty chair where Mayuri should

have been sitting. Rukia Kuchiki stood behind the empty chair that should have held Ukitake.

“This meeting, while formal, is occurring off the books. We are in a grievous state, and while peace may be here, there is always the chance that it could break at any moment. That is why we are here.” He cleared his throat, brows furrowing. “We are rebuilding, and we have a shaky alliance with both the Quincy and the Arrancar- for now. I do not believe that we are under an immediate threat. However, there are certain items that must be addressed.

“The first of which is the passing of four of our Captains. There will be funerals held for each of them within the coming weeks. They will be open to the public. They will be grand, as is deserving of each.” The finality in Shunsui’s voice left no room for argument. “Captains Yamomoto, Unohana, Kurotsuchi, and Ukitake will be remembered for the rest of time for laying down their lives to save Soul Society, as well as the… Hundreds of others who were lost in battle.”

Hundreds. The word is heavy within the room. Everyone had lost someone in some form, whether it be family, friend, or lover.

“Secondly, it is time to right the errors of our past. This is the reason this meeting is occurring off the books. I plan to contest the banning of Urahara Kisuke and Shihōin Yoruichi personally before Central Forty-Six.” Murmurs drifted through the room. It was one thing to bring up the idea, but another to say that it will be happening. “Which is why they were both invited to attend this meeting.”

Gazes turned, landing on the pair. “Ohayo,” Kisuke hummed, leaning his weight upon Benihime, who was in her sealed form. “I have questions about that.”

“Of course you do,” Sui-Feng muttered, though she remained silent otherwise.

He pointedly ignored the angry little bee. “I was made aware that you all agreed that I should take over my former position that had been ripped from me one hundred and… What was it, twelve? Thirteen, now? Years ago. A title that I had rightly earned before I was condemned for a crime that I did not commit, which we all are aware of now, yes?” A quickly, cursory glance around the room. “I know a few of you here were too young to remember what happened. But let me refresh your memory, shall I? Aizen was working on a way to create Hollows out of Shinigami and chose three of your captains and one of the lieutenants here, now, to test that on, as well as Hiyori Sarugaki, my former Lieutenant, Hachigen Ushoda, formerly of the Fourth Division, and Love Aikawa, former Captain of the Seventh Division.” The words cut like a hot knife through ice, stinging and causing a few to look down or away.

“But some of you were not too young. Some of you remember when it happened, and you did nothing to intervene. So for the last one hundred and thirteen years, I have been living in the World of the Living, aiding the Vizards. Miss Shihōin had been exiled from her own family, even if they did not want to do so. They had no choice. So!” Kisuke clapped his hands together, watching as Isane jumped. Oops. “My condition is that not only we be pardoned of this crime that we did not commit, but that Miss Yoruichi Shihōin also be allowed back within Soul Society. My shop will remain within the World of the Living in Karakura Town. Tessai Tsukabishi, the former Captain of the Kido Corps, who was also wrongly convicted, will also be pardoned. He will remain and run the shop, looking over it and the two Modified Souls whom I created and love as if they were my own children, Ururu and Jinta.

“Those are the conditions upon which I will accept the Captaincy of the Twelfth Division once more. If they are not met, you’ll just have to find someone else who is capable enough to run the Division and understand how Mayuri Kurotsuchi’s mind worked. No offense to Akon or anyone with the Twelfth currently, but I don’t think any of them could actually handle that. After all,” his voice quiets, head dipping, a shadow falling over his eyes. “I was the one who brought Mayuri out of the Maggot’s Nest. Should any of you

forget, I was also the Commander of the Detention Corps, as well as a member of the Onmitsukidō.” Chin raising, slate gaze swept across the room, taking in the silence that had fallen. “I’m not asking for a compensation fund. I’m not asking for a new Division. I’m not asking for a golden parade through the Rukongai. I want an apology. And I want for Central Forty-Six to admit their mistake.”

Silence met him. It was as if no one had expected for Urahara Kisuke to speak out, to give demands. As if he, too, hadn’t been wronged by the events of the past. As if he, too, did not deserve an apology. As if he, too, were not angry and bitter over the mistakes of the past.

“Lest you all forget that without me, you would not have had the Twelfth as it is today. There would be no S.R.D.I.. Mayuri would have died in his cell. And you all would be dead, now, because Kurosaki Ichigo wouldn’t have been born without Isshin Kurosaki, someone who I helped personally. And you would be down four Captains and one lieutenant.” Jaw set, he met Shunsui’s gaze with his own. “These are the requirements. And I will not settle for any less, Captain Commander.”

Shunsui shifted in his seat, a peculiar little smile curling at the corners of his lips. One that read ‘I anticipated this’, or perhaps ‘All is going according to plan’. “Of course, Urahara-san. It will be done.”

“Will it?” Kisuke countered, head titling, voice low. “Just what do you have on the Central Forty-Six that would turn their vote so quickly, Shunsui-san?”

A chill crept into the air as the Captains and Lieutenants sat straighter, stood straighter, cast their gazes down. No one dared speak, no one dared to break the silence that had gripped their throats and held them captive.

“That,” Shunsui began, rising to his feet slowly. “Is for me to know, and for you to never find out. That is all that needed to be said. This meeting is dismissed.” His face was pale; it was beyond time for him to retire. Another session of healing, no doubt.

Kisuke made his way out, Yoruichi at his side. “That was ballsy,” she murmured, gaze trained ahead. “But good.”

“I figured a history lesson was overdue.” Kisuke replied with a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “Go, I’m sure no one will mind if you-”

She was already gone.

“-visit your family.” Sighing, he began the slow walk back towards the Gotei Thirteen, gaze downcast. He could hear murmurings from behind him- surprise, shock, anxiety. A presence settled in at his side, shoulder gently bumping against his arm.

“Think it’ll happen?” Shinji asked after a good few minutes of walking in silence.

“He managed to convince them to let Aizen out.” He hummed, head rising to study the horizon. “I don’t know what he has up his sleeves, but… I believe there is a chance I’ll be back to torment you, Hirako-taicho.”

The grin Shinji sent him was brighter than the sun. He couldn’t help but smile, as well.

━━━━━━━

One month later.

━━━━━━━

“I stand before you today to contest a punishment that was given over a century ago,” Shunsui began, gazing up at the blank blocks before him. Behind them sat the members of the Central Forty-Six. “I am aware that I was here merely two months prior. A lot can happen in two months.”

“Like losing hundreds of Shinigami,” one voice spoke up.

“That is the casualty of war, something that you all seem to forget exists outside of your protected lives.” Silence met Shunsui. “We lost four captains. And while there are many who could step up the plate, one of those is impossible to replace.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“That Urahara Kisuke be allowed back into the Soul Society and be allowed to take his mantle of Captain up once again.” Shunsui fell quiet as yells met him. Anger, alarm, it all spilled out.

“URAHARA KISUKE? DESERTER.”

“LIAR, A DANGER TO SOUL SOCIETY.”

“HE’S BEEN IN THE WORLD OF THE LIVING FOR TOO LONG.”

He raised his hands, listening as the voices died down. “I understand your anger. However, merely a few years ago, the Vizards were pardoned. Why should Kisuke not be pardoned, as well as Yoruichi Shihōin and Tessai

Tsukabishi.”

“THEY’RE TRAITORS TO THE SOUL SOCIETY-”

“THEY ABANDONED US YEARS AGO-”

“THEY SHOULD BE KILLED-”

Shunsui raised his hands once more, his brow furrowed. “Maa, maa- please, allow me to speak.” Agitated silence met him as he cleared his throat. “I’m not Yamomoto. I haven’t been here since the beginning. I was just a child when this place was really coming together. But because of that, I have been able to witness the way everything has changed and grown. How we’ve become stronger, how more and more Shinigami join our ranks each year. I was a Captain by the time Urahara Kisuke joined our ranks, stepping out from the shadow of the Onmitsukidō. I was able to watch as he built the Twelfth up from the bottom, and watched as he created the Shinigami Research and Development Institute. Without him, we wouldn’t have the Gigais that allow us to investigate further into the World of the Living, the Tenshintai. What Mayuri had to work with wouldn’t have existed without Kisuke. We wouldn’t have even had a captain to fill his place originally without Kisuke; he was the one who brought Mayuri out of the Maggot’s Nest.

“At the end of the day, you have to sit back and consider more than what those of the past did. At the time, there was no true solid proof that Urahara Kisuke, Yoruichi Shihōin and Tessai Tsukabishi were behind the hollowfication project that was, in actuality, spearheaded by Aizen. Their only crime had been being at the scene, trying to help their friends. When you consider this, along with how they have continued to aid us despite being stranded in the World of the Living for so long… Don’t we owe them this?” Murmurs began to echo through the tall chamber. Forty-six voices all talking, debating. Shunsui stood, hands folded politely before him as he waited.

He was right, and he knew it. After all, it had been his idea in the first place. Without Kisuke’s aid, they wouldn’t have ever had Kurosaki Ichigo to help them. Aizen would never have been stopped. Yhawch would still be alive, and they would all be dead or acting as prisoners. There wasn’t any real debate to be had other than stubborn old men wanting to keep history as it is.

“So, I ask once more: I wish for Urahara Kisuke to be allowed back into the Soul Society and be allowed to take his mantle of Captain of the Twelfth Division and Captain of the S.R.D.I. up once again as well as pardoning Urahara Kisuke, Yoruichi Shihōin and Tessai Tsukabishi of their wrongly accused crimes.”

Silence settled across the chamber. A pleased smile curled Shunsui’s lips as he relaxed.

━━━━━━━

Two weeks later.

━━━━━━━

The First Division was peaceful, calm, filled with idle chatter as the Captains and their Lieutenants gathered within the hall of the Captain Commander. There was no surprise written upon their features; they knew what this meeting was about. Even so, they stood, chatting amongst one another, until Shunsui made his way into the hall to settle in at the head of the hall. He used a heavy, cherry wood cane to aid him; it would not be a permanent fixture. Each day he grew stronger, healing from his injuries.

“Well, then,” he murmured, rolling his shoulders before raising the voice. “Would the new Captain of the Twelfth Division enter?”

The great doors opened, and standing within the entryway was none other than Urahara Kisuke, green and white striped hat nowhere to be seen. He no longer resembled the young, awkward Captain he had been one hundred and thirteen years ago. Now, he stood tall, still, gaze trained forward. He made his way in slowly, geta clad feet making soft ‘clacks’ with every step. Behind him, surprisingly, walked a black feline, trotting to keep up. He turned to the left, and stepped into the place where he’d once stood, where Mayuri had once stood.

“Very well. Now, since we are all here, our first manner of business…”

The meeting did not last long; many were still in frail condition, such as the Third Division. The walk to the Twelfth was quiet, calm. Yoruichi had slipped away, returning to her family for the first time in far too

long. She wouldn’t be taking up the mantle of Head of the Shihōin family; that title had passed to her younger brother. Instead, she’d become an aid to him, and split her time between the Soul Society and the World of the Living. Tessai didn’t want to return; he had no desire to come back. He’d handle the shop and keep an eye on Karakura, along with Jinta and Ururu.

Kisuke was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of a throat clearing. Head snapping up, slate gaze hues widening at the sight of his new lieutenant. “The last time I saw you, you were extremely little and didn’t have a nicotine addiction!” Kisuke greeted with a grin as Akon let out a bark of laughter.

“It’s good to see you again, too, Captain,” Akon replied, shaking his head as he fell into step beside Kisuke. “A lot’s changed.”

“I’d be more alarmed if nothing had changed. It has been over a century, after all!” His head tilts back, studying the sky. “It feels strange to be here again.”

“It does.” The sound of a little voice calling had both men pausing, glancing behind them, only to watch as a little black haired girl came bouncing over, nearly stumbling over her sandals. Nemu. Akon knelt down, arms open, allowing the girl to climb up into his arms. “Nemu, meet Urahara Kisuke. He’s taking over as Captain.”

“I remember him. Where’s your hat?” She asked, big dark eyes gazing up at Kisuke.

“Decided that it wouldn’t be appropriate to wear at a meeting,” he winked, and with a wave of his hand, it was as if the hat appeared out of thin air. Nemu’s eyes widened in surprise, mouth dropping open into a little ‘o’. “But I never wander too far without it.” Gaze turning, he took in the sight of the Division, how much it had changed, how large it had become. “Well…”

“Wherever you want to begin, I’ll guide you to it.”

A grimace. “Notes? Or did he burn them all again?”

“Surprisingly, he didn’t.” A shrug as Akon began to walk once more, carrying Nemu as if she were his own. Members of the Twelfth stopped where they stood and bowed low, murmurs of welcome echoing through the air. “I don’t think he had the foresight to do that.”

“Good,” Kisuke nodded, clapping his hands together. “Then let's get to work.”

“Aye-aye, Captain.”

━━━━━━━

That Night

━━━━━━━

The night air was cool here compared to the warm autumn air of Karakura Town. Geta clopped along the top of the wall idly with no true direction. That is, until the sound of a snicker drew the attention of the shoe’s owner. Head tilting, Kisuke glanced behind himself to find Hirako Shinji standing behind him.

“Can’t sleep?”

“Haunted by the past.” Kisuke replied, settling down on the wall. Was he in Shinji’s Division? He hadn’t realized he’d walked that far. “You?”

“Insomnia’s a bitch.” Shinji settled down on the wall, kicking his heels against the sturdy structure idly. “... It feels good to have you back.”

“Does it?” He mused, stepping closer before settling down, shoulder bumping Shinji’s before leaning against the other. “Never thought I’d hear you say that.”

“Fuck off,” Shinji teased, leaning his weight back against Kisuke’s shoulder. Together they sat, silence falling across them like a light dew in the early morning hours. Without speaking, Shinji reached over, taking hold of Kisuke’s hand. Calloused fingers drifted over stitched scars. “She did a number on you.”

“Benihime is a benevolent woman. I respect that,” Kisuke replied softly, watching Shinji’s fingers. “What about you? How’s your head?”

“I’ve had worse.”

“Touche.”

A chuckle slipped free from both men. Kisuke sighed, leaning over to rest his head atop Shinji’s own. “This is what you missed?”

“This and more.”

“It doesn’t feel right without Hiyori yelling at us. Or Love laughing. Or Hachi worrying…” Brows furrowing, he sighed. “But they like it in the World of the Living.”

curled Shinji’s lips as he pulled Kisuke’s hand up to his lips, pressing a lingering kiss to his knuckles. “Some of it will be, Captain.”

[kikilefangirl]

Worthy of Admiration

Bucky Barnes x Reader

(Word Count: 1644)

As you pulled up to your apartment complex, nothing was seemingly out of place.

Miss Marcia sat next to her open window watching the neighborhood kids run through the grass. Suge and his boys from down the way whistled as you walked past. The usual.

But as soon as you made it up the steps, you paused. Something didn’t feel right. You were suddenly more aware of the knife burning a hole in your pocket.

“Monty!” You called out and he came almost immediately.

“Take these to your Mama, tell her it was no problem.” You said. You didn’t hear his reply.

You hand him your grocery bags, never taking your eyes off of your apartment door further down the hall. You take light, cautious steps. Turning your key with one hand, you rest the other on your knife.

As soon as the door clicked, a metal hand reached for your throat. You sidestepped, feeling the air whizz past you. You lunged at your attacker, but he was fast. His flesh arm reeled back, landing a harsh blow to your side. You slashed his forearm before he could get to you fully.

It caught him off guard long enough for you to kick him in the ribs. It gave you just enough time to retreat to your kitchen. A collection of knives and guns awaited you.

You were prepared for a moment like this.

You focused your energy, calling out all the weapons in your possession. A dagger whistled towards you and you caught it in mid-air. A dagger to go with your knife. The metal man was on you, his gun in hand.

You threw the dagger, digging it in his shoulder. As soon as you let it fly, you focused on his gun, you could feel its mechanics and jammed it from where you were.

Your knife clattered to the ground in the process, though. Hand to hand then. A block. Metal hand incoming. Dodge. Dishes and plates rocked and clashed all around you.

You matched his pace blow for blow. Learned his movements. He favored no arm or leg, not even the metal one. Military grade equipment. Very well trained.

You noticed the details. You were holding your own against the stronger, faster, bigger man solely because of the details of his weaponry. That was your mutation. Weapons. The strategy was purely years of training.

Then you slipped up. The sound of children laughing and running up and down the hall took you by surprise.

No, don’t come up here, you wanted to scream.

As soon as your attention drifted from him, the man seized the opportunity. He had his hands on your throat. You were slowly sinking and black spots dotted your vision.

Just then, another man busted through the door, and pushed your attacker off of you. The two wrestled on your living room floor, but you couldn’t keep your eyes open.

Then everything went black.

                                                        ...

“A fake ID, no prints, and an arsenal of weapons in every room.” Natasha sounded off. She stared at your sleeping form through the observation deck in the Tower’s Med Bay.

Bucky frowned at that. The mystery woman he’d gone after and attacked as the Winter Soldier. The details were fuzzy, but he remembered some parts. From what he gathered, she lived completely off the grid. For good reason if she had Hydra out to get her.

Tony swaggered into the room, and made a beeline for Steve, whose worried gaze alternated between Bucky and the woman. He was used to the stares from everyone; he deserved them.

“Spangles, for some reason Terminator over there-,”Tony gestured to Bucky on the opposite end of the room, “almost you know, to our Jane Doe and here’s the best part, minimal damage.”

His words hung in the air, and Bucky drew his lips in a tight line. He found his own gaze drifting towards her, full of concern. He rubbed his temple.

“What are we looking at, here?” Steve let out at last. Bucky scolded himself for not asking that question himself.

Reality sunk in when no one could answer him.

                                                        ...

“You took a lot of hard hits, yesterday.”

At the sound of the deep voice, your eyes fluttered open against the harsh white light. Hospital. You tried to sit up all the way, but a metal handcuff bit into your wrist. You grimaced and finally looked up and the man.

You tried to scramble backwards at the sight of your attacker, but you were still cuffed.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” The man backed away and held his hands up.

You made no moves, but watched him carefully. His metal hand was still very much a threat. You ghosted a hand over the bruise it gave you. You took a ragged breath and licked your lips. Chapped. If not for the morphine drip, everything would hurt. Nope. You were in no condition to deal with the outside world. If you left, now, you were as good as dead.

“My name is Bucky. I’m sorry I attacked you,” He started.

It seemed genuine, but as you thought back to Metal Man, you realized who he was and why he was so familiar. The Winter Soldier. Hydra. You tried not to make a face.

“I wasn’t in control of myself. You’re safe, you’re at Avengers’ Tower.” He said frantically.

Holding your body weight up for so long on your own was beginning to take a toll. You opened your mouth, but no sound came out. You swallowed hard. It hurt the roof of your mouth because it was so dry, like sandpaper.

You spied a glass of water on the nightstand next to you, so you reached for it. You came up short, but luckily enough Bucky picked up on your actions. He handed you the water and helped you get back in the bed.

You guzzled it down as soon as it touched your lips. Not long after did a familiar voice chime in.

“Well shit, I thought I taught you better than this.”

Both your heads snapped up to see none other than Nick Fury at the door. In a flash, a butterfly knife was sailing through the air. You willed it away from Bucky’s head, and chose to lodge it on the handcuffs.

The chain snapped and you sat up. The pain in your ribs flared, but at least you weren’t chained to the bed anymore.

“Wanna trade, old man?” You said, rubbing your wrist.

Fury let out a laugh and squinted with his good eye. You picked up your clothes, and scoured through the bag they were in.

“And you two...know each other?” Bucky jumped in.

“Oakland. I was seven. Mutants don’t get to live squeaky clean, especially young black ones.” You told them.

You soften at the mention of your younger self. How young and vulnerable you were when Fury found you. You’d been on Hydra’s radar ever since, running ever since.

Your grip on your bag of clothes tightened. You’d had a run in with the Winter Soldier before. You got lucky, back then. And again, it seemed. You bit your lip.

To his credit, Bucky noticed your change in mood.

“Stay here.” He suggested. You met his apologetic eyes. He was serious about you staying, and making up for what he did.

“If I wanted to be a part of a group, y’all wouldn’t be my first call, no offense.” You said. Fury scoffed and his good eye narrowed into a slit. He didn’t comment, though.

You were a mutant who wanted to live your life on your terms, not as a spectacle. You let out a sigh.

“When the doctor clears me I’ll be a ghost.” You stated. You were more so talking to Bucky than Fury. He knew full well you weren’t a team player.

“Next time don’t get rusty,” He called out, tossing you a wad of cash. You nodded in thanks, but Fury just waved his hand and walked out. That was just how he was.

It was just you and Bucky, again.

For how massive he was, the man had an innocence about him, it was almost childlike. But there was years worth of weariness, too. And guilt. A product of Hydra, and decades of a corrupted purpose as the Winter Soldier.

You decided Bucky was a weary man who was doing his very best to live in spite of it all.

“Cheer up, comrade,” You told him with a hand on the crook of his neck, “You’ll still have me for a few more days. Until the doc clears me.”

You shot him a dazzling smile and laughed to yourself when he turned a bright pink. He stammered through his reply so much you felt bad, and let him be.

But as he got up to leave, his eyes dulled. He really wanted you to stay and redeem himself for his actions. You couldn’t say it wasn’t admirable.

You twirled the knife in your hands, in one combination after the other. Bucky had blown up your hiding spot. Hydra was without its best asset and would probably be gunning for new ones. People like you.

You clicked your tongue. You could do with a life fully funded by Tony Stark himself, in the most secure building you’d ever been in.

“It’s too hot out there for me, right now. I might need a place to stay until it’s safe to move.” You said.

Bucky nodded and gave you a small smile.

“Can I ask your name, now?” You blinked at the question.

You’d lived so long without anyone, that you hadn’t even considered revealing any true information about yourself. No introductions, no goodbyes. Bucky could probably relate to that.

“Y/N.”

It felt good to say your name out loud. You surveyed the room around you. The faces of the men and women pretending they weren’t watching your exchange with Bucky.

You tilted your head and surveyed your new knife. Your nostrils flared at your collection left behind in your apartment. Oh, you’d be staying alright.

Reeling back you threw the weapon at your observation window. Successfully sticking, the knife was directly in line with Tony Stark’s head, if not for the window.

“Stark! I want my knives back!”

[fan-fantasies]

Partners? (Namjoon smut)

Pairing?: Namjoon x virgin!reader (college! au)

Warnings?: SMUT, fingering, oral, bit of a daddy kink, virgin reader, swearing (i think thats it?)

Word count?:a little over 8k

A/N: Hey guys! Its been a bit, kinda crazy that its now that i wanna write. So just a life update, i’m back at college, we are doing in person classes so I’m not sure how busy i’ll be. Though on a better note i’ve been writing a lot for some reason and am only now feeling inspired to do so. Anyways, someone needs to stop me from writing smut, I suck so bad at it but here I am continuing to write. Anyways, i hope you guys enjoy. Maybe i’ll post something else later in the week or by the weekend, who knows. Thanks for all the love and support you give me and Heather, we really appreciate it! <3 ~Breezy

In the three years, you had been at your university you had honestly believed that college dorm sex was the worst kind of sex to have. Not only did you have to be slightly quieter as to not allude the other students around you of what you were doing, but you had to make sure that you timed it just right so your roommate wouldn’t walk in on you. The number of times you had walked in on your roommate and her boyfriend finishing up was honestly insanely high. 

You and your roommate had been rooming together since your first year, you had moved into her room after your first roommate decided she wanted to party all the damn time. The two of you just seemed to click right away, you two had enough in common that you would stay up all night just chatting away. Usually talking about weird things and just end up going to bed without another word. 

Today was another day, your writing workshop had seemed to take its toll on you seeing as though you were dragging your feet on the pavement, how you hadn’t tripped yet was beyond your logic. You let out a rather loud yawn as you trudged towards your dorm building which seemed to be much farther away then you remember. 

“Hey!”A voice called from behind you, it took you a moment to realize that someone was talking to you. Stopping in your tracks, you turn and see a tall figure jogging towards you. You instantly recognize him by his blonde hair, he usually sits next to you in your workshop class. Namjoon was his name.

When he finally caught up to you, he stopped to catch his breath, “Damn, I’m out of shape,” he pants before standing back up fully. He was tall, practically towering over you. 

“Sorry to just run up to you,” he begins, “but I know we will be having a group project soon and I enjoy your writing so I was wondering if you would want to work with me?” He says looking at you, there was a small smile on his face. 

You had done proofreading on his work before, it was honestly amazing but you weren’t sure what he saw in your work. 

“Y-Yeah! Sure, I would like to work with you,” you smile, “I enjoy your work too!” You follow up as you watch his smile grow and small dimples appear. 

“Awesome!”He exclaims, “Can I have your number? So we can talk about times to meet up or maybe throw ideas at each other.”

You’re too mesmerized by his cute smile to say words, so you simply nod at his question. Both of you exchange numbers before you both go into different directions. 

You were lucky that Namjoon had stopped you to talk because if he hadn’t, you likely would have walked in on your roommate and her boyfriend having their sexy time. Unlocking the door, you enter, seeing the two of them in bed just kinda chatting but you knew they were likely naked under those blankets. You kept your eyes from looking in that direction as you walk towards your side of the room. 

Your roommate had greeted you, which you happily reply with a simple greeting. You knew the two of them would go back to chatting until they either fell asleep or he would get dressed and leave. You put your earbuds into your ears and began to read over the assignment that was given for another class and began to work on it. Engrossed in the music, your head thinking about nothing but the assignment until you felt someone tap your shoulder. 

“It’s time for dinner, wanna go to the cafe?” Your roommate asked, typically you both went together or ate in the room.

“Yeah just give me a second,” you answer as you get yourself to a good stopping point before grabbing all the things you needed for dinner. 

The walk with filled with chaotic chatter as usual, though she did apologize for you nearly walking in on them again. 

“Me and him just have awful timing,” she admits, “and we can’t do anything in his room cause his roommate is literally always around,” she explains with a shrug. 

You nod, “Yes well, please for the love of all things, just text me when you think you’re gonna start anything.” You plead, “Then at least I can wait an hour or something so I don’t have to see any more than I already do.” You both laughed for a few moments before entering the building that seemed rather quiet for the time of day. 

After grabbing your plate of food and finding an empty table you both sat together enjoying each other company more than the food. 

“Hey (y/n),”

You glance behind you, surprised to see Namjoon standing behind you. “Oh hey Namjoon,” he was smiling,

“Do you mind if I join you two? I wanted to run something by you for the project,” you glance over to your roommate who was clearing giving signs to let this poor man sit. 

“Sure take a seat,”you tell him, “Oh Namjoon, this is my roommate,” you introduce both of them. Your roommate seemed more interested in trying to leave you two alone to talk then actually making a friend. She stood up, grabbing all her things, before leaving she whispers in your ear,

“He’s cute! You better be getting some of that,” she giggles before walking off not giving you a chance to explain that it was nothing like that.

“Sorry about her, she can be a little weird,” you apologize to him, he only laughed a little before you both began talking about your project.

“I don’t know about you, but I find myself writing more romance style novels then I do anything,” he laughs nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

You sat there thinking about it, “I’ve never really written a romance style thing before,” you trail, you were more into writing horror and fantasy then you were anything. 

“I enjoy horror and fantasy,” you explain looking down at your hands. You weren’t exactly expecting the reaction you had gotten.

“That's wonderful!,” He began to jot notes down in his book, “Why don’t we try to write the most obscure story? Some sort of romance horror story,”  he suggests. 

There were a few moments of silence while you thought it over, a horror romance novel? That seemed a bit out there but then again, your writing wasn’t too far off from being “out there”.

“That sounds kind of fun~,” you tell him. His beautiful bright smile appeared on his face causing a blush to appear on your cheeks. What a truly interesting project this would be.

You hadn’t even noticed that people were slowly leaving the dining room area, the both of you too engrossed on trying to come up with the perfect idea. It wasn’t until the staff came over and told you it was nearly closing time that you realized how long you had been sitting at the same table. In that period, you had brainstormed five potential ideas. Honestly, you didn’t believe that you could be so productive with anyone.

“Namjoon, your some sort of genius,” you say as the two of you walk back towards the dorm buildings,

He laughs and shakes his head, “Well I wouldn’t say I’m a genius,” he began, “We can work really well together which is just a good thing,” he tries to explain, you figured he didn’t know how to word his statement but you understood what he meant. It was a relief to think someone so great had wanted to be your partner, since you last partner did none of the work and royally screwed you over. 

“Do you want to meet up tomorrow?” He asks, “To brainstorm some more,” he quickly adds . You thought for a moment only to remember tomorrow was the worst day of the week. 

“I won’t be able to till pretty late. My last class gets out around seven,” you sigh glancing up at him,

He just gave you a nod, “Why don’t we meet up tomorrow after your class for a little bit? I don’t mind staying up a little later,” he suggests,

You weren’t sure if your body could carry you that long, “I don’t know Joon~,” you trail, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to function after such a long day,” you try to reason, 

It was clear he understood but he seemed a bit taken back, “Joon?” He questioned, your eyes went wide with shock, 

“O-Oh, I’m sorry… I tend to give people nicknames and I don’t ever ask if its okay,” you blurt out in hopes you didn’t actually offend him. 

He just laughed, “No it’s alright, I like that a lot,” he answer causing a huge weight to lift from your chest. 

“How about this? We meet up tomorrow, a friend of mine works at a small diner right down the street. He would give us a place in the back if we wanted to work and we can get something to eat,” he says, “if the time comes and your tired then we won’t go,” he concludes. You decided to just tell him yes, not like it was a hard choice. 

You both said your goodbyes before entering your building and heading towards your room. Your roommate was sitting on her bed, laptop on her lap as she scrolled through Facebook. Her face lit up when she saw you, 

“Spill it!” She squealed looking at you hoping for some juicy details of a ‘hook up’. 

You raised your eyebrow, “There is nothing to spill,” you tell her, “We sat and talked about our project,”

She groaned loudly, for some reason she was always trying to convince you to sleep with someone. “Come on girl!” She shrieks, “You need to get some of him!” She put her laptop onto her bed and turned to face you. “He’s super cute and I’m pretty sure he likes you,” 

You knew she was happy for you but she honestly tended to be a little over the top about it. 

“Just forget about it, he’s my project partner,” you didn’t say anything else, you got your bag ready for you long day of classes. 

You knew you were asleep, but this dream felt so real to you. The library was quiet, you really enjoyed studying on the second floor of the library cause no one typically ventured down this far. It almost felt like a secret spot to you. 

“You like this spot too?” A voice asked, you knew it was Namjoon, you didn’t even have to look up from your book. 

“Its quiet and no one can distract me,” you explain continuing to let your eyes scan the book in front of you. 

“Can I join you?” You gave him a nod before he pulled a chair up next to you. The both of you studying in silence for what seemed like forever, it was peaceful and calming. That was until you felt his large hand on your knee. 

You froze at the sudden contact, finally glancing up from your book only to see him reading his as if nothing was happening. 

“N-Namjoon?” You stammer trying to keep yourself calm and to not over think it. He glanced over from his book, only to send you a wink before going back to his reading. What in the world was happening? 

You went back to your reading only to feel his hand creep higher up your leg, now reaching your mid thigh. You felt you stomach twist, not in disgust but in excitement. You tried so desperately to focus on your reading. Though his hand just kept creeping higher until reaching the apex of your thigh. You bit your lip, gently squeezing your legs together. His hand squeezed your thigh, he clicked his tongue in displeasure. Using his strength he pried your legs apart, though you didn’t try to fight back, it was easy to say you weren’t apposed to this happening. 

Once again looking up from your book, you finally saw him looking at you. His eyes blown with lust, it took your breath away. 

“Joon?” You whisper softly as he sets his book down. 

He chuckles, “Keep reading babygirl, and remember keep quiet,” he mumbles, “this is a library,” 

You aren’t sure what his plan is until you feel his hand creep up and begin to unbutton you jeans. You cheeks begin to heat up but you don’t protest, it almost turned you on more. You continue to try to focus on your book as he shimmy you jeans down your legs. Eventually his hand found its way between your thighs, his long fingers gently rubbing over your clothed core. You held back a moan, you had never been touched like this by anyone. 

He felt you tense up and could clearly see the wet spot starting to appear on your underwear, 

“Someones excited,” he chuckles glancing up at you, “Have you thought about this, me touching you like this?” He whispers now expecting an answer, 

You nod your head, “Y-Yes,” you whimper out, you wanted more, you NEEDED more. 

“Now be a good girl and start reading to me, don’t miss a word or I’ll stop,” you couldn’t believe your ears, he wanted you to read? You felt him move your underwear aside, his fingers dipping down through your wet folds. You whimper softly, 

“You heard me baby, start reading,” he growls lowly causing a shiver to run down your spine. Slowly you begin to read where you left off, reading something about the Egyptian gods and how the society revolved around them. You had honestly stoped paying attention up until this point. 

As you continued to read, his fingers ran through your folds collecting you wetness before gently making circles on your clit. The low moan that left you lips was unintentional and not something you had hoped would come from you but you continued to read. 

“You’re so wet baby,” Namjoon mumbles as he kisses your inner thigh, his fingers now trailing towards your entrance before he slowly interested a finger into you. 

You couldn’t help but stop reading, you knew if you continued the moan that would have escaped your lips would have alerted the who library. Just like he said, he stoped when you didn’t continue reading.

“What did I tell you babygirl?” He huskily asks, you began to pant unsure if you can answer. 

“P-Please daddy,” you whine, “just give me a minute, i-i’ll keep reading~ I promise,” the fact that you had just uttered those words even surprised you seeing as though you didn’t think that was something you were that into. 

He gave you a curt nod, “You better beautiful, or I won’t move,” you tried desperately to catch your breath but it took a few moments until you found yourself reading again. Once you began to read, Namjoon slowly began to pump his finger in and out of you. It took every inch of you to not stop or to stumble on your words. 

It wasn’t until he added a second finger where things started to go down hill. You began to stutter, soft moans began to leave your lips.

“P-Please, can I stop reading?” You beg hoping to get an answer you liked. 

He just chuckled as he stopped his motion, “Why should I let you stop baby?” He teased looking up at you, you didn’t have an answer to his question. 

“You gotta study babygirl,” he teases as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of you. 

“P-Please daddy, I wanna watch you,” you whine causing him to stop, 

“You like this?” He begins to move his fingers faster, you put your book down. “If you aren’t gonna read you’re gonna look right at me,” he says looking you directly in the eyes. You gave him a nod locking eyes with him. While keeping eye contact, slowly he leans forward leaving a single kitten like on your clit, almost testing the waters. You bit your tongue to hold back the moan that would have escaped. 

Without warning he went straight in, sucking your clit between his lips.

“o-oh fuck,” you whimper as you try to keep eye contact with him, the feeling of his lips harshly sucking on you, while pumping his fingers into you. It was unlike anything you had ever felt before. When he finally inserted a third finger, your head rolled back a moan finally leaving your lips. You felt him gently slap your thigh to gain your attention, 

“Eyes on me babygirl, I wanna see your beautiful face when you cum on my fingers,” you felt yourself get closer to your release, 

“Fuck, are you gonna cum babygirl? I feel you tightening around my fingers.” He groans, “You like doing this in public don’t you? You like the idea of getting caught, don’t you?” He taunts, you moan not able to form words, 

“Answer me,” he growls against your clit as he gently nibbles on it, 

“Yes daddy, I like it,” you whines out softly, he chuckled sending vibrations straight to your core. 

“I knew you did you slut,” his words only pushing you closer to the edge, 

“I’m so close,” you moan, “Please daddy, let me cum,” you beg, he groans at the sound of you begging. 

“Go on babygirl, cum for daddy,” he groaned out move his fingers faster. The look in his eyes was enough to throw you over the edge, your legs began to shake as you finally reached your climax. He helped you through your high, working his fingers slowly in and out of you until you finally came down. 

“What a good girl~”

Your eyes snapped open, you could feel the wetness pooling between your legs, you hated wet dreams…. You grumbled to yourself as you looked at your phone and saw that it was seven o’clock, thirty minutes before your alarm as to go off. 

“God damn it,” you mumble under your breath as you get out of bed, deciding to take a shower to start the day and maybe you might be able to deal with the aching between your legs. 

Your day had honestly started off alright considering waking up earlier than intended.  Your first three classes went by rather well, though you had two more to go. Between walking from building to building you stopped into the cafeteria to grab a quick snack seeing as though you wouldn’t be eating until eight o’clock tonight when you met with Joon.

In your rush to get in and out quickly, you ran into something solid, 

“(Y/n)? You alight?” A concerned voice asked, you nodded before looking up, 

“Yeah, I’m alright Hobi,” you say, “I’m sorry for running into you, I’m in a bit of a rush,” you explain to him, he smiled his bright smile before speaking, 

“No harm done! I look forward to seeing you tomorrow at the club meeting!” He say as you rush off. Hobi was president of a dance club that you had been apart of since your freshmen year, but it wasn’t until Hobi came around that you guys ever did anything. You were finally doing shows and competitions, it was honestly the most amazing thing. The both of you bonded over a duet you did together that would be considered pretty risky for just friends to do. Ever since then you two were honestly the best of friends. 

Rushing towards your next class you munched on a piece of toast, you weren’t running late but if you walked slow enough you would be. You just kept telling yourself that you were almost done and soon you would be meeting with your cute new friend. 

Seven o’clock came around and you were trying your best to keep yourself awake, you last class had a quiz that you had completely forgot about and it honestly took everything out of you. 

“Hey (y/n),” Namjoon says as he meets you outside of the school building. 

You yawn and smile, “Hi Joon,” he frowns, he can clearly see that you were tired. 

“Let me take you to your room,” he says with his usual smile, you looked at him in confusion,

“N-No, Joon lets go do our project,” you yawn as you begin to walk, he stops you by gently grabbing your hand,

“Why don’t we go to your room, we can work there if you want,” he says, you nodded sleepily. You must have been that sleepy to invite the boy your roommate shipped you with back to your room. This was a disaster waiting to happen. 

Namjoon walked with you into your room, your roommate was no where in sight. Weird, she must have been at her boyfriends room…

“Make yourself at home,’ you yawn as you set you bag down by your desk and promptly take a seat on your bed. 

“Fuck~” Namjoon mutters as he checks his phone, 

“Whats wrong?” You ask sleepily, you kinda cuddling into your bed. 

“My roommates girlfriend is over, meaning I need to find a place to crash tonight,” he mumbles clearly not happy about the predicament. 

Without thinking you spoke up, “Stay here,” he seems to freeze in his place, “I don’t mind,” you yawn again now laying down in the bed. 

“A-Are you sure (y/n)? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he reasons with you. You pat the empty space next to you, honestly not caring what he did. 

He must have realized no work was getting done tonight, because the lights went out and you felt him lay behind you. You could tell he was trying to keep his distance like a gentleman but you weren’t a fan of personal space. 

A soft yawn escaped your lips  as you cuddled closer to his chest, you had always liked being warm when you slept and he was practically radiating heat. Namjoon tensed up behind you, unsure of what to do mainly because he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Though he felt himself slowly drift to sleep, his arm gently draping over your waist gently. He could help but feel butterflies in his stomach, it was true he found you cute and that he may have gained a crush on you in the small amount of time you knew each other. Though he wasn’t going to complain about what was happening, no way in hell but he just hoped when you both woke up you things wouldn’t be too awkward. 

You heard the door slowly open, at what you assumed was, early that next morning. You didn’t pay much mind to it seeing as though you were so comfortable and warm in your bed. The soft giggles of your roommate were faint as you slowly began to wake up from your peaceful sleep. You had begun to realize that you pillow was a bit harder then usual…You eyes fluttered open only to find that your pillow was, in fact, the hard chest that belonged to none other then Namjoon. You knew nothing had happened last night, and that this was nothing more. 

“What time is it?” You groan quietly to your roommate, 

“A little after seven,” she says just as quietly, “I see you had a fun night,” she teased, 

You stuck your tongue out at her, “No, he came over to work on our project and I fell asleep, his roommate had his girlfriend over and needed a place to crash.” You tell her as quietly as you could without waking the gentle giant. Your roommate still giggled and went to her side of the room, you assumed to get ready for the class she had today. 

You took this moment to look up at Joons sleeping face, his hair was slightly disheveled and his lips slight agape. Every so often he would softly snore and shift a little. You honestly wished you could have this view all the time. You watched for as he slowly began to wake up, his eyes fluttered open. 

A small smile formed on his lips, “Morning,” he mumbled lowly in his deep morning voice. 

“Morning Joon,” you say just as softly as you slowly try to sit up, instead he slowly pulls you back, 

“Stay for a bit longer,” he groans as he seems to close his eyes again. You honestly didn’t fight him, though you knew your roommate wasn’t gonna let you live it down. It wasn’t much longer until your eyes fluttered shut again and you fell asleep. 

You woke up again, this time to a tickling feeling against your neck. It didn’t take you long to realize that it was Namjoon’s breath against your neck. His face was buried into your neck, his lips ridiculously close to touching your skin. You tried so hard to control your breathing, to ignore the feeling of arousal starting to pool between your legs. Just the idea of his lips on your neck was enough to cause said aching between your legs. 

Namjoon groans in his sleep, shifting closer to you, his lips now brushing gently against the nape of your neck. You bit your lip in order to hold back the whimper that was rising from your throat. This man had no idea what he was doing to you. You continued to feel his lips lightly brush against your neck for a few moment, holding back was becoming incredibly hard. You wanted to move but his arm was securely wrapped around your waist, holding you close to him, maybe he was aware of what he did to you…

You tried to push that thought away from you there was no way he knew, well that’s what you thought. Not seconds later did his lips press against your neck, not roughly but just enough that a the whimper you had been holding back finally made an appearance. His lips didn’t move, it was clear that he was still asleep. 

“J-Joon,” you whisper out in hopes that maybe he would wake up, He just groaned in his sleep, his lips continuing to graze your neck. 

“Namjoon,” you breath out, trying to hide your embarrassment, you honestly couldn’t believe that something this simple was turning you on. Slowly he began to shift, his lips moving away from you now as his eyes opened. 

“(Y/N)?” He groans as he slowly wakes up, you sat there trying to catch your breath. You heart was still pounding in your chest, 

“Are you okay?” He asked, clear concern laced in his voice. 

You nod your head, “Y-Yeah, just woke up from a weird dream,” you stammer out trying to keep yourself calm. He sits up looking at you, he was worried about you clearly. 

“I’m alright, I promise,” you say, “do you have class today? We can do some of our project today.” You say trying to change the subject. He rubs his eyes, before shaking his head, 

“I have a club meeting tonight but that’s about it,” he replies, he keeps an arm wrapped around you as you chatted,

“You’re in a club?” You question, you assumed he was in some sort of ‘smart person’ club but you wouldn’t actually admit that out loud. 

“A childhood friend wanted me to join a club with him,” he says with a nod, 

“Who’s your friend? If you don’t mind me asking,” you ask honestly kinda curious to see if you know them.

“His names Hoseok,” he says with a shrug, 

You sat there shocked for a second, “Wait, Jung Hoseok?” You ask, when he nodded you nearly had a heart attack, “You’re joining the dance club?” You blurted, you really hoped he didn’t take offense to that. 

He laughed and nodded, “Yes, I know it’s a bit strange. He roped a bunch of our friends together to do some sort of dance together,” he laughed, “He even managed to ask our friend Seokjin and Yoongi to come back to join it,” He explained, now you were interested, 

“Wait, Min Yoongi?” You ask, “The music production major, who on the last day literally cussed out the professor?” You squack, causing the both of you to laugh. His laugh was honestly adorable to say the least. 

“Yes that Yoongi,” he confirmed, “We all became friends at a young age and we all just kinda stayed together I guess.” He chuckled, you smiled hearing that. You didn’t have many friends growing up, and the ones you did lost contact and you all just kinda faded away. Not like you really cared seeing as though you never really liked having friends anyways. 

“I didn’t realize he would be someone to be into dancing,” you mutter causing Namjoon to chuckle, there were no other words spoken for a few moments. 

Eventually, the both of you began to work on your project. You both of you throwing ideas back and forth of the strangest thing. 

“Hear me out,” you begin with a giggle, “What about these two friends live together, and one of them becomes possessed by a demon,” you explain, “the demon sees that the friend it’s possessing is madly in love with the other. So it spends all its time trying to get them together,” you conclude looking at his face for any sort of thought. 

A bright smile spread across his face, “Thats amazing! It’s perfect!” He says happily, jotting it all down in his notes. The both of you continued to work for most of the day, it seemed like both of your minds just joined together as one. 

Before you realized it, it was nearly time for you to head to club. 

He began to pack up his things, “So I’ll see you there?” He asked with a happy smile, you gave him a happy nod before saying goodbye. Once he left, you threw on your more dance worthy clothing before grabbing your water bottle and keys, before locking your door and leaving. 

You were one of the first to arrive after Hobi, he was quick to run to you and engulf you into the tightest hug imaginable. 

You were happy to give him an even bigger hug, “Hobi!” You squeal happily, his cute laugh filled the room as you both just stood embracing each other. Though it honestly hadn’t been that long since you had seen him, you both often greeted each other this way. 

It was honestly the one thing you looked forward to. If it weren’t for Hobi, you wouldn’t be the person you were today. As you waited for the rest of the club, the both of you stretched and spoke together about the things you had done over your summer or just random things that you both had been up to. 

Eventually a few stragglers came in before the large group of boys that you were kind of familiar with. The three you recognized was, of course, Namjoon who walked beside Yoongi. You had only seen him a few times, Yoongi was pretty quiet when he wasn’t with his friends. You had nearly worked a project with him, a singer was needed, you had auditioned but the day you were asked to go in they had turned everyone away. He had decided to do something different. 

The last person you recognized was Jimin, you had met him through the club. He was a true sweetheart and was honestly a dance god. You honestly envied his talent, he was an amazing dancer with so much passion. You had both danced together once, you had nearly won a competition his first time doing the club. 

Hoseok’s voice filled the room as he greeted his friends from where he was standing, you could tell he was extremely happy to see that they had actually decided to show up. He waved you over with a wide smile, you cautiously walk over not exactly sure how this would go over. 

“Guys! This is (Y/N), she’s another good friend of mine!” He introduces, you gave an awkward smile and wave as they all introduced themselves. Jimin greeted you with a sweet hug as the others just kinda waved. 

“I’m just so glad you guys are here!” He cheers with a giggle, each person broke into a pretty wide smile. This years club was going to be an interesting one, you could tell. 

A few months had gone by, Namjoon and yourself had gotten closer than ever. If you squinted you would honestly think you were an actual couple, well most people believed that you were anyways. You were always together, either working on your project or just hanging out together.  Hobi had noticed the two of you getting close, so he decided to make you dance partners. It was honestly the most amazing thing to happen, it only brought you two closer together. 

So close that your roommate just wouldn’t stop teasing you, asking when you were finally gonna take things to the next step. You obviously told her that you both weren’t in that kind of relationship, she would just roll her eyes and continue to tease you. 

Today was like any other day, except today you stayed in his room. The both of you sat in his bed watching a random movie that played on his computer. You two often did this on the weekends, it was a way for you to de-stress and just spend time away from everyone. 

Though something was different, Namjoon seemed nervous. He arm was slung over your shoulder, you wanted so desperately to cuddle into his side. 

Recently the stresses of college had really gotten to you, all the work and projects you had to get done where starting to take its tole. You hadn’t been sleeping well, you hadn’t been eating well and honestly you had gone a week or so without interacting with anyone, that included going to your favorite club. 

“Are you okay?” Joon questions snapping you out of your thoughts. You didn’t speak for a few seconds, the only sound to be heard was the sound of the tv. 

“I’m alright,” you finally answer, “I’m just glad to be finally having a break from everything.” You whisper softly, he gave a small nod before pulling you closer to his side. The faint smell of his cologne fulled your nose instantly calming you down. 

“Thanks Joonie,” you mumble snuggling into him more, if that’s even possible. You heard him chuckle a little. You glanced up to him, much to your surprise he was looking at you, his dimpled smile showing. You found yourself glancing down at his lips a few times, honestly wondering if they were a soft as they looked. He seemed to notice you gaze rather quickly, he was always a little slow when it came to the signs but he could see that this was something you might have wanted. He slowly leans towards you, his lips now extremely close to yours. 

“N-Namjoon,” you whisper, looking into his dark eyes. Concern filled them for a second, afraid he had done something wrong. “Kiss me, please,” you tell him, not wanting to wait another second. He seems frozen at your request, so you took the leap of faith. Gently you connected your lips together, it was clear that the both of you were nervous. 

The kiss lasted only a few seconds, before he pulled away slowly, you heart was beating out of your chest. Before you knew it, his hands gently grabbed your waist, pulling you onto his lap you legs straddling him. One of his hands sat gently on your side while the other caressed the back of your neck. He pulls you back in for another kiss, this one passionate and showed all the feelings he had. His hand held you close as his tongue gently snaked his way into your mouth. Was this was really happening?

You couldn’t help but involuntarily rolling your hips against his causing the both of you to moan into each others mouths. You finger tangled in his hair holding him as close as you could get him. Was this actually happening? You’d never done this with anyone before but you weren’t going to stop, this felt way too right. 

You pulled away from his lips, both of you trying to catch your breath. Cautiously his lips trailed down your neck, leaving feather light kisses everywhere that he could. You let out a soft sign, the feeling foreign but pleasant. As he became more confident in himself, his lips pressed harder onto your neck occasionally sucking and nipping at the skin cause soft moans to slip past you lips. His hands began to wander cautiously, giving you an opportunity to stop him at any time. You hadn’t planed to stop him, even after his hands began to wander under your shirt touching your bare waist. He pulled away from your neck, looking you in the eyes asking for permission. You simply nodded, you didn’t have to say words the both of you could practically feel each others energies. 

His lips connected to yours again, you grabbed the edge of your shirt, slowly pulling it up and off of you. The kiss continued for a few moments before he too shed his shirt. Your hands began to trail his toned stomach, he was so well built… 

A groan escaped his lips as a hands began to trail up towards your chest, his hands cupping your cloth covered breasts gently almost testing the waters. Once again his lips trailed down your neck heading towards your semi-exposed chest. Taking this chance, you reach behind to unclasp your bra letting it fall from your chest. He doesn’t hesitate to let his lips wander further down until his lips attached to one of your nipples. You couldn’t stop the moan that trembled from your lips causing him to glance up at you and pull away, 

“You gotta be quiet, we don’t need everyone hearing,” he chuckled with a small smirk causing wetness to pool between your legs. He left a few kitten likes against your nipple before seeing your reaction, “Unless you want everyone to know.” This caused another moan to surface giving him the answer he was looking for. He used his strength to lay you down on your back, him hovering above you. His lips continuing to assault your breasts, leaving small love bites and soft kisses as he worked his way down towards you stomach. 

“Joon, please,” you whine softly trying to keep your voice down. He left light kisses near your navel as he slowly began to pull down your sweatpants. Lifting your hips off the bed to help get your pants off. He wasted no time, leaving light kisses against you thighs leaving your body shaking with anticipation. He silently drank in your form before leaning down kissing near the waistband of your panties, he glances up at you almost silently asking for permission which you happily gave him. He pulled them down your legs carefully, you hear him audibly groan at the sight of you. 

“You’re so wet baby,” he groans as he begins to kiss your thighs again making his way higher and higher. He parts your legs, placing them on his shoulders as he dives in. His tongue automatically finding your clit, you bit your lip silencing the cry that the whole building would likely had heard. Your fingers tangled in his hair, holding on for dear life, his mouth felt amazing. 

“H-Holy shit, that feels so good,” you moan softly, you felt him smile against you, occasionally groaning as he continued to eat you out. The closer you to to your high, which was a lot faster than you would hope, the harder it became to hold back your moans. 

“Joon, I’m so close, please,” you beg trying to keep your voice down as low as you could, your grip in his hair tightened causing him to groan. You hips bucked up against his face, trying to chase your orgasm. He flattens his hands against your stomach, pinning you down so you couldn’t move. This only brought you closer, after a few moments of chasing your much needed orgasm he growls against you, 

“Cum for me, baby,” That was all it took before you were thrown over the edge, the idea of him being able to bring you to an orgasm with just his tongue only seemed to intensify it. 

“Joon,” you whine as you came down from your high but his ministrations didn’t stop. You tried to push him away but he held you down. It was only a moment before he from between your legs, crawling up your body and kissing you lustfully. You could still taste yourself on his tongue as you fought for dominance. His fingers gently touched your sensitive clit causing you to gasp against his lips, he pulls away slightly,

“Relax baby,” he whispers, “I have to prep you for me,” he nips at your neck, as his fingers trail down towards your entrance you grab his hand. 

A faint blush crept on your cheeks, now feeling embarrassed, his eyes softened. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked genuinely concerned about this, you covered your face in embarrassment. 

“I-I’m a virgin,” you mumble, gently he moved your hands from your face. He looks directly into your eyes, you could only see love in his eyes. 

“It’s alright,” he kisses your cheek sweetly, “If you want to stop we can, I don’t wanna rush you,” he begins, “If not, I will be really gentle alright? I would never hurt you,” he whispers, you felt tears well up in your eyes. You couldn’t believe he actually cared that much for you…. 

“Please keep going,” you whisper, “I trust you,” you watch as his smile grew wider, the love in his eyes only grew brighter. 

“Then I will be really gentle, you just have to tell me if I’m hurting you,” he says; you give him a nod of understanding before he continued. His lips connected to yours once more in a quick kiss before he gently laid his forehead against yours, his finger circling your entrance. You gave him a small nod while looking into his eyes. He took the first step, slowly inserting a finger into you. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling to start with, kinda uncomfortable but the longer you adjusted. You knew this was just the beginning though. 

Slowly he began to move his finger, testing the water to see how you were feeling, the moan that escaped your lips seemed to egg him on. His pace slowly quickened, before slowly entering a second finger into the mix. He halted his motions for a few moments, 

“You’re doing so well beautiful,” he whispered in your ear, along with a few other encouraging words that seemed to shoot a tingling sensation right down to your core.  

“M-Move, please,” you whine not wanting him to hold back any more. He took that as his cue, starting a slow almost teasing pace that drove you crazy. Though the slow pace didn’t exactly last too long, it began to pick up. His eyes never left yours, watching as your face would contort in please just by the flex of his fingers. 

“J-Joon,” you moan, “I want you,” he didn’t need to be told twice. He pushed himself off the bed, finding a condom not in his desk but his roommates. This made you giggle, 

“he won’t notice, the guy goes through them like candy,” he grumbles as he pulls down his sweatpants and boxers. His hard cock hits his stomach, the tip already leaking pre-cum as he put the condom on and hovered above you. 

“This will hurt a little, alright? But just for a minute,” he advices as he lined up with your entrance. Once he slowly began to sink into you, holding back tears you pulled him closer to you burying you face into the crook of his neck. He whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you laid together adjusting to his size, the pain slowly turned into a dull ache and eventually nearly nothing. 

“Y-You can move,” you tell him as he pecks your lips. Slowly he pulls himself out and back in, setting a slow pace just to start out. Soft moans continued to flow from your lips, trying so hard to keep quiet but it was proving a harder task than you thought. 

He kept the slow pace for a few minutes, the he began to speed up until he was nearly pounding into you. All you could do was moan his name as you were, once again, building up towards your orgasm. Namjoon left soft kisses against your neck, leaving love bites in his wake, 

“Are you gonna cum, baby?” He growls against your neck, 

You hold back the loud moan you were threatening to let out, “yes,” you moan, “Yes daddy,” you whimper, you felt his tense slightly at the name he was just called. A blush crept up your neck and to your cheeks, you honestly believed you had screwed up. 

“Call me that again,” he groans into your ear as he began to snap his hips forward thrusting deeper than before.

“Daddy,” you whine, “I’m so close please,” you sob trying to keep your cries to a dull roar but you were ultimately failing. He continues to thrust, now rougher than ever but you could tell that the name was really getting to him. You could feel the knot in your stomach endlessly tightening but it wasn’t enough, you needed something else. Almost as if he read your mind, his hand snuck down between your bodies, his finger tips drawing tight circles on your clit. 

“Come on baby,” he groans, “Cum for daddy,” he growls while making eye contact with you. You felt the knot snap, you pull Namjoon down into a suffocating kiss, muting the loud moan that escaped as you found your release. Namjoon followed behind, as he felt your walls tighten around him his thrust got sloppy, he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. 

“Shit, fuck,” he groans into your neck as he released into the condom. His thrusts continued until he nearly collapsed on top of you. The both of you panting, trying to catch your breath. Before he got to comfy he tied the condom off and threw it in the trash. He pulled the blankets over the both of you, and pulled you towards his chest, his heart was still racing. 

“That was amazing,” you say softly, cuddling into his chest. He only nodded in agreement, taking a few minutes to figure out what he wanted to say. That was until the sound of his door unlocking brought you both out of your daze. 

You weren’t prepared for who walked in. 

“Woah, what the fuck…” a familiar voice said, the both of you glanced over only to see your roommate and her boyfriend walk in. 

“No fucking way!” Your roommate squeals in, honest to god, joy. You buried your face into Namjoon’s chest to hide the deep red blush that appeared. 

“Can you guys like, leave?” Namjoon asked, hoping that they wouldn’t over stay their welcome. The both of them laughed, his roommate grabbing a few things before heading back towards the door, 

“So this is what it feels like to be walked in on?” He mumbled causing you and Joon to laugh. When the two of them left, leaving you two alone did he finally speak. 

“I want to take you out,” he mumbles, “Please… I kind of did this in the wrong order,” he rubbed the back of his neck. You giggled at him, his nervousness was honestly the cutest thing. 

“I would love to go out Joonie,” you say kissing his cheek, “Now can we take a nap?” You ask with a giggle. He gave a wide smile before nodding. 

“Of course beautiful,” he whispers as the both of you lay down, he pulls you into his warm chest before the both of you fall asleep.

[themadlostgirl]

When It’s Cold (5)

*I had different, spicier, plans for this chapter and then the characters took off with the plot and had fluff instead.*

~~~

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

I had been way louder than I meant to. My body was pleased with the after effects of masturbating but my mind was paying the price. I had been peacefully asleep until another naughty dream of Felix entered my subconscious. It was late so I figured he was asleep and I could get away with being a little loud if I got a tad overwhelmed but I had thrown caution to the wind right at the end when I screamed his name.

Hopefully he hadn’t heard but it did nothing to assuage my worries. I need to get a handle on these hormones. Maybe I would feel more in control if I got something. The store sold condoms. At the very least if it turns out that he does want to have sex one day I can be prepared. I set out early that morning before Felix woke up and grabbed a box of condoms as well as some feminine products. I had forgotten I even got a period until I came to Storybrooke and time started its toll on my body which meant my bloody, crampy, moody friend was back to wreak hell upon me.

Maybe that’s why I had been so horny lately. PMS can be a hell of a hormone tornado.

I got back to the house and was happily walking back to my room to drop off my purchase when I heard music coming from the kitchen. Damn. I didn’t think Felix would be awake yet. I tried to sneak past but he caught me halfway through.

“There you are,” Felix said, “I thought you were still in bed asleep. Where’d you go?”

“Quick run to the store,” I waved the plastic bag in my hand.

“I’m making eggs, do you want any?”

“Oh sure, I’m gonna go drop this stuff off in my room first.”

“Okay.” He shrugged, “Oh wait,” he gestured for me to come back.

“Yes?”

He pulled me in for a quick kiss. “Just wanted to do that.”

“Sap.” I tweaked his nose.

I raced up the stairs and dropped the condoms in the drawer of my bedside table and stuffed my feminine products under the bathroom sink. There. Now come period or play time I was ready!

I went back downstairs and sat down with Felix for breakfast. The snow outside had really piled up. On my trip into town I saw a lot of kids out in their lawns making snowmen. Felix and I have stayed cooped up inside this entire time. Maybe we should go have fun outside too. Our entire lives used to be spent outdoors before we came here after all.

I mentioned as much to Felix and he shrugged saying it sounded like fun. We got dressed in our winter attire and I raced out into the snow. “Felix, help me roll!”

“Roll what?” he asked.

“I’m trying to make a snowman. I’ll get started on the lower section, you get started on the middle.”

“Alright then,” Felix stooped down and started rolling a ball.

I got a pretty big base done and Felix came over with his slightly smaller ball to stack on top of it. Felix started rolling the head while I gathered some rocks and sticks to decorate it with. “Arm here, and here, rocks for eyes and a nice rocky smile and ta-da! Snowman! Isn’t he a handsome devil?”

“He’s a pile of snow and rocks, darling.”

“Well how about this,” I dug my finger into the face of the snowman and dragged it down. “There, now he looks like you.”

“You’re hilarious.” Felix rolled his eyes, “He’s a little too short to be me though.”

“Nope. He’s a perfect copy.”

“Well you know what this means.” Felix started backing up, “If there are two of me that means one of us has got to go.”

“Felix! Don’t you dare!” I yelled, “Don’t kill Felix Junior!

“There can only be one!” Felix ran and tackled the snowman breaking all our hard work in half. “I reign victorious!”

“You are a terror!” I grabbed a handful of snow and threw it at him. “I will avenge you Felix Junior!” The snowball hit him right in the head. He stood up and gawked at me.

“You really wanna have this fight, little girl?” He asked as he picked up the discarded head of Snowman Felix. “We’re gonna have this fight!”

“No!” I started running away as Felix raced after me. The severed head of our snowman held high above his own head. I felt the force of it hit me in the back and I went tumbling to the ground.

“Gotcha!” Felix was already forming another snowball.

“Oh no you don’t!” I quickly made another ball and hurled it nailing him in the face. “For Felix Junior!” I started making more snowballs as I got up and started pelting him.

I was laughing my head off as Felix and I dodged around one another throwing snowballs. I got too close once and he grabbed me shoving a clump of snow to my exposed neck! “No! No! Cold! Cold! Cold!”

I dropped to the ground and Felix fell with me. He was hovering over me, that wide smile that only I ever got to see, bright on his cold stung face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Our battle lay forgotten as we sunk into it. His face was cold but his mouth was hot as he kissed me back.

“Truce?” He asked.

“For now.” I shivered, the cold and wet of the snow starting to get to me.

“Cold?” Felix smirked.

“A tad.”

“Can’t have that, can we?” He stood up and helped pull me to my feet. “Let’s get back to the house where I can keep you warm.”

“I like the sound of that.” I held close to his arm as we made our way back to the mansion. I changed into my comfiest and warmest clothes and heated up some hot chocolate for Felix and I. We sat down in the living room where Felix already had a fire going. A bunch of cushions and blankets littered the ground.

I sat down and cuddled up next to Felix. We sipped our hot chocolate while the fire crackled and music from the record player played softly in the background. Outside the snow fell in delicate flakes. It was a moment of pure bliss.

“Did you ever think we’d be like this?” I asked.

“Like what?”

“Cuddled together like we’re old lovers.” I smiled, “I certainly didn’t when I first met you.”

“A lot has changed since then though, hasn’t it?” He matched my smile and planted a kiss to the crown of my head.

“Yes, a lot has changed.” I sighed, “It almost makes me not want to go back to Neverland. I’m just so happy being here...with you.”

“You don’t want to return to Neverland?” Felix really looked at me now. “But it’s our home.”

“I’m not saying that I never want to go back to Neverland I’m just saying that I am really enjoying this time where it’s just the two of us. No other loud boys getting in the way. No hunting for food or sleeping on the hard ground. No bathing in a pond. It’s comfy here. Safe.”

“The privacy is nice,” He traced his thumb along my cheek, “I like having you all to myself.”

“Home can be anywhere we make it. Why not make it here?”

“Is that what you’d want?” Felix said, “To stay here and grow up? We’d become boring adults. The one thing we hate more than anything.”

“I don’t think either of us could be considered boring, adult or not.” I chuckled. “I don’t like the idea of growing old and dying but if you’re there along with me getting wrinkles and grey hairs then I fear it a little less.”

“That’s a big change. A big commitment. Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. I don’t think anyone is ever ready to grow up. It just sorta happens. It’s the passage of time.”

“Does this mean you’re done looking for a way back to Neverland?”

“We’ve been searching for weeks. We’re going on two months and we have made no progress. Absolutely none. I think it has to do with the fact that we’re happy here. We’re not looking as hard as we should because we have a good thing going already. Tell me, Felix, if we found a way back to Neverland tomorrow, would you want to take it?”

“Would you be coming with me?”

“That’s not fair. You’re asking that cause you know I would come with you regardless. I am asking if you would stay here regardless of if I was here or not.”

“Wherever you go I go. I know that’s not the question but that’s my answer. You want to go back to Neverland we go back to Neverland. You want to stay here and grow up then I’ll be right by your side for that too. We’re in this together now.”

“Felix, I--” my brain tried desperately to catch up to my heart. What was I feeling? Was this love? I don’t remember the last time I felt love. I can’t even be sure that what I’m feeling right now counts but it is the closest to love I know I have ever felt. That didn’t mean I was ready to say it out loud though. “I am so glad that I have you.”

“I’m glad I have you too.” He kissed me slowly.

The rest of our day passed in a warm haze of dreamy sighs and feather soft kisses. We barely moved from our spot in front of the fireplace. Felix got up to heat up some leftovers for dinner and came to sit back down. The night was growing late and I felt myself nodding off. I didn’t want to return to my lonely bed though. I wanted to remain right here.

I rested my head on Felix’s shoulder and shut my eyes.

~~~

Felix hadn’t meant to fall asleep in the living room. But he didn’t have much choice after you fell asleep on him. He hadn’t the heart to wake you up. Not that he would have dared move from that spot in the first place. It was such a stark contrast to the hormonal hours of makeouts you and he had engaged in over the past several days. Today was all soft touches and meaningful words.

He was surprised when you said you wanted to stay in Storybrooke but what was more surprising was that he wanted to stay here with you too. Wherever you went he would follow. If that meant staying here and growing old then he was proud to do it.

He played with your hair as you slept. You had cuddled up right next to him and next thing he knew you were fast asleep. He gently reclined so he was laying down as well. You curled into him even more. Your head resting over his heart like a pillow.

What he wouldn’t give to go to sleep like this every night. Maybe he could. From the way you talked and how easily you fell asleep next to him maybe you wouldn’t mind sharing his bed. He didn’t even think about how else that could be misconstrued. Sex was an afterthought to the peace that was having you next to him. Your face relaxed and soft snores escaped past your lips.

“I adore you.” he whispered to you as you slept. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head and fell into a dreamless sleep with you in his arms.

---

(Previous) (Next)

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

Hitmen AU! | Head Canons | 19+ [Haikyuu!!]

𝕹𝖊𝖐𝖔𝖒𝖆 [PART i] [PART ii] [PART iii]

Part 3 of the hitmen head canons for Nekoma~!! Next team to be set up will be Aoba Johsai~!

» » Admin Ko

»»————-　♔　————-««

S̷o̷ ̷I̷n̷u̷o̷k̷a̷

This precious baby-- oh my god practically Hinata’s equal in terms of energy and excitement

Like Tanaka and Taketora, the pair met on the streets except instead of brawling they had a rather--- exhilarating first meeting?

Let’s just say it ended with a broken store front and two very angry motherly figures from both respective teams

anywho, let’s get into the gritty bits. This boy, is deadass the all-rounder.

He may not be as noticed or remembered like the other members, but it definitely adds to his skill set as he’s able to easily and swiftly move throughout the field without any sort of issue. 

Once tried to teach Lev how to be sneaky and holy fuck he’s never gonna forget that day 

His main specialty is being the ‘1st Warning’ when payments are late after their services have been completed

is pretty good at holding a decent conversation with the buyers, but talks better with his fists when they become a little too... confident

A chorus of chuckles. The shaking of hands and leisure smiles were shared across the room as the 5 individuals greeted one another before seating themselves at the table. Some of them jesting at the youngest in the room as the figure could only let out a laugh before seating himself at the head of the table. 

“Greetings, I’m here as a representative for my business. I’ve been told by my senior that you all are looking to use our services?” 

The question fell quickly, as he wasn’t really here to sit and beat around the bush. That came for later, to test and see how the clients here ticked and who would be the first on his list for a visit. Of course the responses were initially normal, though as time ticked on and their demands were being placed on the table, tensions began to arise as a handful of them began to get cocky. 

Their statements running freely with no consideration to the sinister smile that began to form on the young man’s usually sweet face. Within a moment’s notice, one of the ruder clients found the ground to be their new best friend as they sputtered and choked against the heavy weight around their throat.

“Let this be a reminder to you all, that even if I am young...I know exactly what I’m doing.”

A toll baby oh my god

He has messy bedhead, but he usually styles it up since it’s easy and efficient 

Looks lanky from a distance, but is pretty well built for all that does 

he has one tattoo on his body and two basic studs

is very baby faced 

with his s/o, he honestly doesn’t show or indicate any signs of being a part of the more darker parts of the world

he’s very affectionate and cuddly with s/o too~! 

Whenever he gets into familiar territory while on a date with s/o he’ll quickly convince them to go a different route or to do something different for their date

T̴a̴m̴a̴h̴i̴k̴o̴ ̴T̴e̴s̴h̴i̴r̴o̴

Calm and collected like Kenma, he is Kenma’s student prodigy whatever you wanna call it

helps with the cyber end details and transactions as well as cyber attacks if any other organizations try to hack or expose their little corner

makes little mistakes here and there tbh, but Kenma fixes them quickly and shows him tips and tricks to counteract the problem

besides training with Kenma, he also works in the lab to make and develop more equipment for missions as well as products to sell to potential clients

doesn’t necessarily engage on the field, is usually back at base help from home

gives heads up and advice from information he sees on the dark web when handing off assignments

Skimming over the information once more. The young male couldn’t help but furrow his brows in confusion. It was odd. The coding, the message, the timing. All of it just told him that there was something more at play. That this purchase was hiding a much more bigger, sinister scheme. 

“...Odd.” Indeed it was, of course he’d run it by the older strategist when he went to collect the assignments to pass out. Yet he couldn’t help but once he brought it up a war would break out within their sanction.

He isn’t as tall as the others, nor is he the most buff but he does make up for what he lacks physically by helping create equipment and making sure his teammates will be safe on the field

definitely frequents sparring matches with the other rookies to keep in shape 

doesn’t have any tattoos but does have an industrial 

with his s/o he can be a little...secretive

he doesn’t want to expose them to the work he does nor possibly get them hurt so he can be pretty vague

like Kenma, any chance he can be with s/o he’ll do so most likely in doors and just chatting and catching up with a show in the bg

L̷e̷v̷ ̷H̷a̷i̷b̷a̷

god this child-- plz help this clutz

very mischievous and sly, when he holds conversations with anyone it always feels like he’s trying to pry something out of them. 

aspires to be an all round ace like Inoka is, but honestly is a big clutz

accidentally almost killed Inoka first day during shooting practice

Yaku deadass beat this tall boi’s ass to the ground 

he goes through the most training and the most skills 

definitely makes up for his mess on the field, despite still making mistakes here and there, he shows improvement every time he’s assigned a new mission.

Out of all the skills he’s learned, he definitely likes the skills of interrogation

he enjoys seeing their victims squirm and beg for forgiveness 

“Oh come now~. This isn’t so bad right? You just need to pay the money and let us know who your second supplier is~!” A gleeful voice echoed throughout the desolate chamber as the seated individual trembled in the metal chair. When no response was given, a sharp click of the tongue was heard as a cry of pain cut through the tense air. The clang of the metal chair hitting the concrete floor as a boot pressed the victim’s head tortuously slowly into the ground.

“I’m not here to keep playing this little game...I know you’ve been selling our information to a competitor...and honestly none of us like that. Though...it is good to say that you’re not the only one selling secrets~.” A wicked grin, and pearly whites were tattooed into the victim’s mind as the horror of their darkest deeds were being sold. Though this group wouldn’t do such a thing...right?

“I know what you’re thinking...and honestly, it’s not true~ We made quite the pretty penny~.”

the tollest boy in their group

his silver hair is usually slicked back to keep a more professional look, but tbh he has it down

has a large variety of tattoos over his body along with old and fresh battle scars and bruises

he’s more lean than bulky but incredibly toned from his intensive workouts

with his s/o he’s a big prankster and a tease

loves to hold things out of reach and steal kisses from them

is always wrapped around s/o and follows them like a lost puppy at times when he really wants affection

Y̴u̴k̴i̴ ̴S̴h̴i̴b̴a̴y̴a̴m̴a̴

The most quiet member and shyest member

rarely ever causes issues in the group tbh 

he’s yaku’s favorite since he’s the least problematic rookie

despite being the shyest member, he really wows his members by being the eyes and ears.

During recon or sniping missions he’ll be the eyes and ears for the members by updating them in real time of what the target is doing and what things they will need to notice for.

Is one of the better gun handlers in the rookie group

“Target is heading off course. Distracted by a guest in the common room.” Sharp and quick, the usually soft voice spoke confidently as brown eyes analyzed the situation and how to move on from there. An annoyed sigh left his lips as he skimmed over the live CCTV footage before updating the assassins on the field.

“High chance that enemy organizations have infiltrated the assignment. Proceed with caution. Odd amount of cars coming up.” 

Furrowing his brows, the male continued to debrief the team coordinating and helping them get through the mission with as little issue as possible before letting out a pleased sigh as the target laid dead. The assassins immediately retreating as the veteran driver grinned, starting their car and returning to base.

One of the smallest members 

isn’t too bulky or too lean but rather average in terms of build

has no piercings or tattoos, but does have a good chunk of scars and bruises from constant sparring and training to keep his stamina and defenses up

his hair is usually pulled back to keep out of his face whenever he skims over feed to relay to the others

he’s very sweet around his s/o 

taking the time to listen to them and spending as much time as he can with them

a bit more honest than the others where he’ll tell them a bit about their job

[mytsukkishine]

Prompt for Damien haas x reader -> fluff!!! coworkers at smosh, Damien is super shy and reader is super flirty and teases him a lot until he actually makes a move??? Do with that what you will lol

n/a: whoa kay, hi anon. thank u for the lovely request. this would actually be my first time to take in request, and the first time to make a characterxreader genre so forgive me for the errors. thank you for the request and i would like to apologize again becaaaause i am new to this smosh fandom (I have known them way back then and only watched smosh again because of their board AF series so..) and i hope you would like this.

-still taking requests so~~ give me time tho hahaha another note. sorry it might have a little feelsy feels in the middle lmao

Summary: You’ve become smitten of Damien ever since, and you love to tease and kind of flirt with him because he would always turn red. However, in the middle of these so-called feelings, you’ve come to the conclusion that maybe, maybe Damien doesn’t like you back. Maybe the reason why he’s shy was that he felt so awkward when you are around him.

And so, the feels begin. 

words: 1,920

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You smiled at the envelopes on your hands. The marketing team was already done with the promotional pictures, and it all looked awesome. All those hard work through production was all worth it.

Of course, you, from the Sales department volunteered to bring it to the squad because, well, even though you were at the office side, you were more close to the production side.

“I have pictures!” You announced cheerily as you opened the door. Courtney and Noah who was near the entrance stood up and got the envelopes according to their names. “Here ya go!”

“Thank you Y/N!” Courtney beamed you a smile and you handed the rest to the squad. You walked up to Damien and you grinned, pushing your hair onto the back of your ear.

“Here,”

“Thank you!” He said happily and you can’t help but notice his cheeks were always pink. It’s adorable. “You look good there,” You commented and you swore his cheeks turned red. “I- uhm, hahha,” He laughed lowly, avoiding eye contact.

You pouted internally but just gave him a cheeky smile, “Well, see you around!”

“Hey YN, wanna hang out after work?” Shayne spoke and the others agreed.

To be honest, it has become a routine for you to hang out with them. The difference between the departments was never a hindrance because you easily became friends with Olivia and the rest was history.

Then you met Damien. When Damien first entered Smosh, you were smitten. He was kind of shy at first but then he opened up. The thing that you liked about him was that he gets shy whenever he rants about anime to you and then he would suddenly apologize. You two were pretty close but you still wonder why Damien never seemed to speak so much when you are around.

You always see him being all talkative and a goofball to others but not to you.

You were curious.

One time you two were alone in the lunchroom and you looked up from the document you were reading. You caught him looking at you.

“Yes, Dames?”

“Uhm—Nothing!” He looked back at his food and continued to eat.

Ever since then, you always wanted to tease him. He was cute.

“Oh, cool!” You grinned towards Shayne then turned to look at Damien, “You’re going too, right?”

“Y-yes,” Damien answered and you giggled.

Shayne, Keith, and Noah was actually watching the whole scene happening and they just wished for Damien to just ask you out quickly.

 ~

You sighed as you entered the breakroom. It’s a tiring and stressful day as your manager kept pressuring you in getting that deal. He has been nagging you since last week and you were really trying your best.

You whined and headed for the coffee machine but stopped when you spotted Damien. He waved at you with a sweet smile etched on his face.

“Coffee?” He offered. His cheeks pink again.

Your frowning face immediately glowed and you find yourself next to him, “Yes please.” He pressed the button and both of you silently wait for it to be brewed.

“So, why is Damien Haas here? Don’t you have a shoot?”

“I- uh, we are on a break actually,” He pointed on his brows and that’s where you noticed that it was so defined and on fleek. “Whaaat,” You leaned in to take a closer look and Damien stepped back a little.

You smirked, “Let me see, Dames,”

He was taller than you so obviously you tiptoed and Damien released a nervous laugh. He tilted his head to the side, avoiding eye contact and you grinned. You patted his hair gently and a small beep from the coffee maker resounded.

You straightened yourself and grabbed the coffee pot. “You still look good though,” You complimented. “What video are you making?”

Damien was a blushing mess. He cleared his throat as he grabbed his mug and waited for you to finish. “Uh, Courtney is giving me a make-over, Shane inspired make-up,” You nodded and you took Damien’s hand that was holding his cup and poured coffee in it.

Damien’s mouth was shut tight as he looked at the hand above his.

It was hot and it’s making his heart beat fast.

“Oooh nice,”

“Y-yeah…”

“Well, good luck!” You winked, squeezed Damien’s hand gently before leaving, not forgetting to grab your own cup.

You stopped on your tracks and looked back. You beamed up at Damien, “I think pink lips would look good on you~”

Your heart was racing as you exited the room.

 ~

 Okay, you can’t focus. You need to see this live. That was why you found yourself sneaking in the studio where you know Courtney and Damien would be shooting their makeover.  You smiled sheepishly as one of the producers saw you. He shook his head but lets you in.

You found a corner where you can watch for a while without interrupting anyone so you stood there, papers in your hand as you watched Courtney applies some eye shadow on Damien’s face.

It was funny and cute but throughout the video, you can’t help but pout as how close they were and Damien wasn’t flinching away.

Well, of course, he shouldn’t because Courtney was putting make-up on him but still. You felt your heart pang a little as you remembered some moments where you got a little too close to Damien and he would shy away.

Okay, admitting time. You have a crush on Damien. Maybe after the lunchroom incident you became so smitten over him, then you realize you liked him when Boze asked you if you like him.

Ever since then—you do. You do like him and it has been seven months and these so-called feelings were kind of taking a toll on you.

Then Damien’s laughter broke your thoughts as he and Courtney talked more and you were kind of jealous. Not because of Courtney, oh God she’s your friend. You’re jealous because you want to have that kind of conversation with Damien also.

Maybe you got it all wrong, you thought to yourself as you observed Damien. He was shy and always blushing. Maybe because he was feeling awkward to be with you.

Not because he likes you.

You sighed and decided to leave and continue with your work.

 ~

 “Yo, did something happened?” Shayne asked as he took a seat beside you, putting his drink on the table as you continue to play with your Switch. It was a Sunday meaning no work for you and you decided to hang out in the squad’s office for a while because they said they would be going out for a drink later on.

“No, why?”

“You have been awfully quiet.”

“I am always quiet Shayne,”

“Mmhmm,” Shayne hummed and took a sip. Pregnant silence covered the both of you before you straightened your body and rested your head on Shayne’s shoulder.

“I’m just tired,”

“Of what?”

“Work, obviously.”

“Y/N. I have known you since Defy. What is up?”

You groaned as you lost the game. You sighed and pressed restart. “Nothing, really…”

Then the door opened and the rest of the squad entered and both of you remained in your positions. “Y/N, you’re here!” Olivia and Courtney greeted and you replied with a smile and wave before turning back to your game. Noah took a seat beside you to watch and you instantly switched shoulders to lean on.

Shayne stood up to throw is trash and the rest were getting ready to leave.

Damien was the last one to enter and he spotted you. He walked up to you and peeked from above to see what you were playing, “Oh, you’re playing My Hero: One’s Justice!” He exclaimed excitedly as he took Shayne’s previous spot.

“Ah, yeah… It’s quite an interesting game,” You said and focused on your playing.

“Guys come on, we need to stop by Taco Bell first,” Keith announced and Noah stood up, disturbing your gaming in the process. You proceeded to rest on the nearest shoulder but stopped when you remembered that the nearest shoulder beside you was—

Then your eyes met Damien’s.

The game already abandoned as you and Damien made eye contact.

You saw his cheeks were pink again. You looked away and exited your game.

“Uh,” You managed to let out as you stood up. “I think I need to charge this first, so…”

You wanted to hit yourself because it was so obvious you tried to avoid him. Now you felt bad for letting your stupid feelings get in the way.

You walked over to your bag with a sigh.

Damien doesn’t deserve this. It has been two days since your realization and it has been two days since you smiled at Damien. You wanted to cry because you always, always wanted to smile at Damien. And maybe tease him but nooooo, you realize you might just be hurting yourself.

“I’m going to the break room for a while,” You announced and Courtney draped an arm around you, “Everything good babe?” She asked with a worried face and you nodded, hugging her in the process.

“Yes, babe. Just thirsty,” Well that was partly true. She lets you go and you waved, exiting the room with your bag in tow.

You walked towards the break room and enter when a hand stopped you from your tracks.

It was Damien.

He followed you here? You looked around to see no one was there, of course the office would be empty on a Sunday afternoon.

“Yes?” You questioned with a raised brow and you saw him gulp.

“Y-Y/N… I- I wanted to ask you something,”

You sighed. He had noticed you were avoiding him. Now you have to apologize to this soft boy that doesn’t deserve your cruelty.

“Dames, look about earlier I-”

“Would you go out with me?”

The two of you stopped for a moment. His hands held your wrist as you both looked at each other.

“What?”

Damien was now red. Like red, as in when they drank-too-much-smoothies-that-one-time red.

“I… you see,” He was kind of struggling as you were gazing at him. “Uhm, okay. You are funny, so cheerful and very… cute.” He was looking down, still holding your wrist. “And you always tease me and stuff…”

You smiled a little but he continued. “Then I noticed you were kind of avoiding me and—”

“I’m sorry Dames, it’s not—”

“No. No. Let me finish, please. I am sweating.” You nodded with a laugh.

Damien released a nervous chuckle and he finally, finally looked at you.

“And it’s killing me. I have liked you and—I wanted to know more of you so,”

“Yes.”

“Would you go—wait, what?”

You giggled as you stepped closer to Damien, you face are inches away and you heard his breath hitched.

“I would love to go out with you Dames,” You felt your cheeks heating up as you see Damien’s eyes looking down at your lips. You smiled and pressed a finger on his soft lips.

“Take me to dinner first, babe.” Damien scoffed a laugh, cheeks still a mess as you stepped back. “I’ve always like this side of you, Dames.” You commented and grabbed for his hand. He was shocked for a moment but then relaxed. He leaned in towards your ear, “I like this side of you too,”

Now you swore you were the blushing mess this time.

-

apologize for grammar error. thank uuuuumaybe tell me what ya’ll think hehe :D

[jiminisnotavirgin]

Here with You

Pairing: idol!Min Yoongi | Reader

Genre: Smut and Fluff

Words: 4.1k

Warnings: oral, penetrative sex, intercourse, slight exhibitionism, buff Yoongi???, praise kink.

Description: Yoongi’s sad and his body’s in constant pain after bouncing from city to city in the last few months for the group’s biggest world tour yet. Aside from that, he doesn’t remember the last time he got a full night’s rest. You and his members plan a secret visit for you to surprise him in his hotel room after a concert. It’s been months, after all, and the two of you both have... needs that only the other can take care of ;)

Note: I live for soft Yoongi and I imagine he’d be as sweet as this (if not, sweeter!) to his significant other! We also can’t deny that he’d be absolutely delicious in bed, too. In MY OPINION, this is the BEST fic I’ve written up to date! Please tell me what you think :) I appreciate and enjoy each and every comment and response!

ALSO! I’d like to make it clear that the reader ISN’T Korean and I will let you know when they are. However, they are supposed to be speaking Korean to each other which is why I mainly use the word, “Jagi” instead of “Baby.”

Yoongi’s never enjoyed traveling or staying in hotels. For him, they don’t possess the same sense of peace or relaxation that they do for others. The only time he seeks the relief of a temporary hotel bed is after a long concert or flight when his sore bones ache and he can barely keep his eyes open. Even then, he tosses and turns all night, fluffing his pillows and kicking at his sheets until he eventually loses the fight and knocks out. At this point of their world tour, more than halfway through, the guys have noticed that Yoongi rarely leaves his room. They don’t blame him. His snippy attitude and overall mood are products of the group’s constant movement and although it takes a toll on all of them, Yoongi’s always hit the hardest. 

His members notified you of this and that’s why you, his secret, longtime partner, decided to come for a surprise visit. Your ultimate goal is to cheer him up and see at least one of his beautiful, gummy smiles. Another reason why he hates traveling is that he has to be away from you and his home. 

He’s currently sprawled out on the couch, limbs extended as he wields a pair of chopsticks in one hand and a paper carton in the other. He reaches for another piece of sweet, sesame chicken, unimpressed by the bunny documentary on the TV before a soft knock on the door catches his attention. The sound is light. Anyone else would’ve missed it but Yoongi’s music-producing ears are razor sharp. 

“Coming!” he calls out with a mouth full of food. Not caring much for his looks at this time of night, he pulls a cap on over his disheveled hair and slips on his sandals before approaching the front door. He ignores the viewfinder and opens the door with a tug, still chewing the chicken in the back of his mouth without a care in the world. The words leave his mouth before he can catch a glimpse of the person standing on his doorstep. “Jimin, I told you already. I am not giving you any more champagne—“

“Yoongi!”

You still manage to glow, even in the faint light of the hotel hallway. His mouth freezes when his eyes meet yours and his heart beats at his chest excitedly, telling him to wake up!  A tiny, polka-dot luggage stands behind you like a guardian and the situation finally makes sense in his brain. When you wrap your arms around him, excitement flutters in his stomach like millions of tiny butterflies. You smile, melting happily into the man you’ve missed for months. 

“Jagi?” he whispers, wondering if the gorgeous apparition standing in front of him is only a dream. “I... I can’t believe you came all the way here.”

“Of course, I did!” You smile and Yoongi doesn’t miss the sparkle in your large eyes. The two of you stumble backwards into the entrance of the room before he regains his balance and squeezes you back. He pulls you even closer, smelling your shampoo and feeling the smooth, soft skin of your glowing cheek under the strokes of his thumb. His senses are heightened due to your familiar presence and he couldn’t be more grateful for your spontaneous visit. He needed it, needs you. 

“I’m happy you’re here,” he continues with a smile once you pull back to take a look at his face. He twirls a lock of your hair around his long index finger, pure admiration filling his gaze as his other hand grips your waist. You don a yellow sundress with an intricate design of red roses and leaves. The colorful fabric accentuates your figure and the curvy shape Yoongi loves so much. “You look pretty.”

You glance down at your feet shyly, trying to ignore the heat rising to your cheeks as you clutch the sides of your dress. “Thank you. I almost didn’t buy the dress since it’s a little small.”

“I’m glad you did.” His large hand envelops yours before he laces your fingers together and leads you to the couch in the sitting area of the large hotel room. His metal rings feel cold against your skin but you have no desire to release his hand. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

“Yoooongi, ssssssstop,” you whine but he raises his hands in the air defensively, palms flat and arms up, a look of pure innocence on his handsome face. Your eyes dart to his broad shoulders and the way his arm muscles slightly flex with each of his movements. Has he been working out?

“How do you still get so flustered whenever I compliment you?”

Yoongi is an organized individual so it doesn’t surprise you that his room follows suit, from his shoes by the front door to his made-up bed. The one thing you notice is his dinner set up of takeout Chinese food on the coffee table, however, it isn’t the slight mess that causes your heart to sink in your chest.

“Have you been eating well? All the fried food at this table is concerning,” you admit hesitantly. It isn’t only today’s dinner on the coffee table but other nights’ as well.

“My body’s used to it by now. Liquid junk food probably flows through my veins along with airplane cookies and coffee.”

“That’s gotta be bad for your stomach.” You frown, concern filling your pretty features. He sounds impressed with himself and it’s freaking you out just the slightest bit. He wishes to kiss away the fear written on your face. 

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“Yoongi, you could lose a foot and you’d tell me not to worry about it.”

“Hey, hey, at least I’ve been drinking only water these past few months, that’s gotta count for something, right? Replacing all the water in my system?”

“I just wanna make sure you’re taking care of yourself even if it’s hard because of touring. I really do worry about you, Yoongi. Sorry if I’m being annoying.”

“You’re not annoying. I’m grateful because you actually care about my wellbeing aside from all the idol stuff unlike everyone else.” The two of you settle into the couch as he drapes his arm over your shoulder. “But seriously, you don’t have to worry. I’m not even thinking about food right now.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“You. And sleeping next to you later. I think I took cuddling for granted.”

“Yoongi, that is uncharacteristically cheesy.”

“Well, it’s your fault. I’m excited that you’re here and now I don’t know how to express it other than cracking dad jokes like Seokjin.”

“Please, keep the cheesy jokes rolling, then. I love them but I love you more.” Your lips lightly graze his and he melts into the kiss as you arch your back and press your chest against his. Unlike before he left on tour, you’re met with a hard, sculpted chest and you draw back, holding your hands against his chest as you formulate your curiosity into a question. Yoongi interprets your actions as a recoil but you assure him that you still want him close. “Yoongi, don’t take this the wrong way but you feel... different. Have you been working out?”

“Yeah, actually. Does it look weird?” His palm grazes the back of his neck awkwardly. “I started a few months ago. The stylists want me to stop because it’s harder to pick out clothes if my size keeps changing but it helps me sleep better at night. I’ve been meaning to show you on one of our video calls.”

Once again, your eyes drift from his face to the muscular bulge of his arm. You can’t control your tongue as you lick your bottom lip. Your dry throat clenches for something—anything—to eliminate the empty feeling in your mouth. Suddenly, you’re thirsty for another mouth-filling liquid only he can give. Damn. “I love all of your different forms and shapes and sizes because I love you but—“

“But?”

“But,” you continue as you lower your gaze, your long lashes accentuating the sudden lust oozing from your dark brown eyes, “you look really fucking good. Like, I-wanna-go-down-on-you-right-now kind of good.” 

“W-What?” he sputters, caught off guard by your sudden use of obscenities. Your dirty mouth causes his cock to twitch like it has a mind of its own, straining uncomfortably against his tight black jeans. “You can’t just say that.”

“Why not? Getting a little flustered?” You flash a mischievous grin as you hop off the couch, settling yourself between his spread knees. The sight of you on the ground for him, hands roaming the expanse of his legs and the hidden space where they meet, ignites a flame of desire in the pit of his stomach, a tiny flicker that you have no intention of putting out.

“Don’t tease.” He swallows, squirming desperately as he feels your nails lightly scrape his inner thighs. “God, you don’t know what you do to me.”

“But I do,” you hum, hands settling on the silver buckle of his belt. You slip your fingers through, gradually weaving his leather belt until it’s completely off of his waist. The heavy metal dangles from your hand, jingling before you sling it over the couch arm with a loud clunk. “I know that you’ll do anything to get my mouth wrapped around your pretty cock, won’t you?”

“I can’t take it when you talk like that. You’re gonna kill me, I swear,” he groans. You undo his zipper and button, encouraging him to raise his hips so you can tug his pants down to his ankles.

“I’ll go down on you but I have one rule.”

“Tell me.”

“You can only cum when I tell you to.”

He hesitates. “I can’t—“

“Try. Practice the self-control we both know you have.” You nudge your pointer finger against his chest.

You’re proud to have Yoongi in your life, proud to have him as the one man who brings you pleasure in all forms. You’re the only one who gets to see him this way—hot and bothered and vulnerable, desperate for your touch—and you take pride in that. He’s a hardworking, dedicated, and determined man and he’s the same way in bed.

He lets out a low hiss when you free his cock from the constrains of his jeans and he feels you blow lightly. Your eyes remain glued on the creamy, white liquid coating the plump tip of his length. What he lacks in length, he makes up in his thick girth. He barely fits between your tiny hands but you pump him slowly, lathering him up in his own salty juices. The arousal lining your damp panties clings to the side of your thigh, threatening to drip down your leg. “I’m so wet just from looking at you.”

“Let me touch—oh, fuck.” He throws his head back in surprise, eyes flickering closed as he feels the sudden pressure of your tongue against his tip. Tingles radiate across his body from where your mouth meets his dick and in this moment, he’s grateful for the sexy, angelic vixen that you are and the way you force him to relinquish control in the pursuit of release. 

It’s been months. Although you’ve touched yourself and imagined your fingers were his, your fantasies are never fully accurate when it comes to his impressive and gorgeous anatomy. Nothing is as great as when he’s struggling not to thrust into your mouth. 

Your mouth envelops him eagerly, your tongue lapping saliva and precum around his soft, veiny skin. You moan around him, causing vibrations to shoot straight up his toned, clenching pelvis. Sweat builds on his forehead as the ends of his dark hair begin to cover his eyes. 

“You have to stop or I’m—“

“Don’t forget my rule.” You slip your lips off of him with a loud pop, ignoring the unappealing glob of saliva dripping down from the side of your mouth. Your facial expression is innocent despite the naughty nature of your current act and Yoongi couldn’t be more aroused. His cock lands on his pelvis with a loud, messy slap.

He stands, motioning for you to take his place on the couch but you swiftly shake your head. “Your turn, jagi.” 

“Not now, I can’t wait. I want you.”

“Impatient girl.” He can see the hunger in your eyes but there’s hesitance swimming in his. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Oh, trust me, I am all warmed up down there.” Although he’s seeking to pleasure you, he thinks of your comfort first, always aiming to stretch you out and make sure you’re fully lubricated before doing anything with you down there.

“I’ll be back for a taste later and that’s a promise. Now, where do you want me, jagi? I’m all yours.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, guiding him backwards to the bed. He grasps the back of your neck and tilts his head to the side, slipping in his tongue to create an even deeper bond between the two of you. His wet muscle clashes against yours as his other hand delicately fiddles with the loose spaghetti strap of your dress. He breaks for a moment, lips puffy and eyes heavy with lust before helping you peel off your dress in one smooth swoop.

The air in his body suddenly escapes his lungs when he looks at you, causing his breath to hitch in his throat. The moonlight glistens over your sweaty skin, highlighting your curves and shape. You used to be so shy in front of him but now you stand confidently, hands resting neatly over your hips like the art that you are. “I’m so in love with you. How did you find me?” he murmurs in admiration, happily giving into the spell your body casts on him. He isn’t asking about tonight; he’s asking about this lifetime, how the stars aligned your paths on the fateful day you met. 

A loud thud from across the hotel room interrupts his sweet reverie like the chime of a bell striking midnight. Yoongi’s head shoots in the direction of the front door before he whispers a quiet, “I’ll be right back.”

He drags himself to the door, adjusting his long t-shirt over his boxers to cover the raging hard-on he’s got hidden underneath.

“Hyung!” slurs a voice from the other side with a few lazy bangs on the door. Yoongi sighs, rubbing his tired temple as he tries to gather his remaining patience. He barely opens the door in the hopes of somehow steering Jimin away but the younger’s face is merely inches away from the lock. His eyes are red with exhaustion, cheeks pink with intoxication. No one can drink like Jimin and be perfectly stable the next day. 

“It’s late. What do you need? I’m really busy right now.”

“You’re always busy, Yoongi! I can’t find my room key. It was in my pocket before and now it’s not.”

“Did you ask Jungk—“

“Jungkook doesn’t have it, either!”

“Lower your voice.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.”

“So you decided to come bother me. Are you sure you looked in all of your pockets? Thoroughly?”

The younger rolls his eyes before frantically patting the back of his skin-tight jeans with his palms. “Ye—“ His eyes go wide as saucers when he whips out the plastic card from his front pocket. “Hyung, you’re the best.”

“I know,” he answers quickly before glancing back at you in bed, thin sheet tucked tightly up to your chin. “Is that all?”

Jimin’s brows knit together curiously as he tries to look over Yoongi’s blocking shoulder. “Wait, is she here alread—”

“Goodnight.”

With a slam, Yoongi makes his way back to you, crawling over your figure as his face aligns with your neck. You giggle when he tickles the length of your throat with the tip of his nose, sniffing and kissing messily. 

“I feel like a teenager or something, hiding like this.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighs. “Jimin lost his room key for the third time this month. Can you believe that? The only time he’s not a complete mess is when he’s dancing and even then he’s the biggest klutz in the room behind Namjoon.”

“You don’t think he heard us, right?”

“Probably not.”

“Hmm.”

  “Well, you sound disappointed. Did you want him to hear us?”

“No, that’s ridiculous,” you insist nervously, trying to assure him that you’re not entertained by the idea of being caught or listened to while fucking.

“You’re such a bad liar.”

“I’m gonna go hide under a rock now and never come out. Ever.”

“Don’t be embarrassed. It’s good when you tell me what you really want; it helps me better understand how to pleasure you. We all have desires.” If you were a puzzle, Yoongi would know you forwards, backward, and back around if it was possible. “We’ve been dating for years and you still manage to blow my mind away.”

“Yoongi!”

“There you go again. I can’t win with you.”

“You can’t win but I’ll battle it out with you forever.” 

There goes that word: forever. It sends some running for the hills but for you two, it’s the only way to express how much you love each other. Forever is an eternity. The thought of you, the greatest woman in the world, wanting to spend the rest of your days with him gives him enough confidence to do anything. 

“You ready?” he asks you sweetly, aligning himself with your entrance as he pushes a stray hair away from your forehead. You hold your panty to the side, nodding and swiveling your hips as an invite. His hard tip prods at the soft skin of your lips and the anticipation is enough to set your skin on fire. “You’re so warm,” he groans, sliding another inch inside of you. 

Your silky walls envelop him, welcoming him with tight clenches and liquid heat. You can feel every ridge and bump of his dick and just when you think he’s bottomed out completely, he continues to work himself into you. “Wow, it’s been a really long time.”

He pauses. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, keep going.” His hot breath fans over your face and you can smell the remnants of his minty toothpaste. “Your breath smells so goo—ugh!”

With a creamy slap and a loud groan, his pelvis hits yours. The pressure of his thick cock pushing against your cervix is heavy but he waits for a moment, allowing you to adjust to the sensation. “Damn, Yoongi, did your dick grow while you were out, too?”

“Clearly, you’ve forgotten what it feels like when I fuck you so let me give you a reminder.” He slowly guides himself out of you only to ram back in, full force until you’re completely full once again. He does this a few times and you begin to moan as each of his thrusts glides in smoother than the last, creating a slippery rhythm of pressure and pleasure. 

“Yes, yes, yes,” you moan, body jostling as he rocks himself into you. Your round breasts bounce with his movements, tempting him to massage each supple mound. Your hard, neglected nipples prick against the palm of his hand, reminding him of their presence.

“You’re so good to me,” he answers before you share a wet kiss. “I don’t deserve you.”

“I love you.” Although you feel him plunged deep inside, it’s not enough. You hold onto his broad shoulder, gazing at him with desire. “Harder.”

Your request isn’t one he wants to ignore so with a light slap of your thigh, he motions for you to flip over. “Turn around.”

With one hand tightly grasping your lower back for balance, he uses the other to guide his cock against your slit, rubbing up and down until he settles on sliding against your puffy clit. He groans as he slips inside of you again but this time, he massages your pearl between his index and middle fingers, rolling and drawing circles around the tender organ until he hears your breathing become more erratic. You grind over his fingers to create friction before you find yourself fucking him as he stands still behind you.

“Do you like that?” you ask. 

“Yes—ugh—keep fucking yourself on me.” He moans, placing his hands on the back of his own hips to give you full control of thrusting. “I bet you wish they were watching.”

“Who?”

“Jimin. The staff. The guys. All of them.”

You clench around him.

He continues, “Hell, even ARMY. Imagine how angry and surprised they’d be when they realize I have a girlfriend and that we have sex.”

“Yoongi,” you whisper weakly, giving into the obscene ideas leaving his mouth. The possessive nature of his words arouses you more than you’d like to admit. “Don’t joke around about that, it’s dangerous.”

“That’s exactly why you like it. Admit it.”

Suddenly, he’s whipped around until his wrists remain bound against the bed, your body hovering over his in a determined crouch. You lick your lips, satisfied with his surprised reaction. “Stop now before you get yourself in trouble.”

He has the nerve to lick his lips before he cracks a mischievous, gummy smile. “What are you going to do about it?”

Your lips crash against his, teeth clashing and tongues tangling as your bodies passionately intertwine. He chuckles into your sweet mouth and you try to kiss away any remaining bits of his charming attitude. The two of you begin to rock slowly, with his length still stroking inside of you and perusing your wet walls. His fingers tickle your clit once again and you become aware of the stirrings low in your stomach.

You stifle a particularly loud moan as his tip strokes that small, spongey patch along the inside of your entrance exactly the right way, back and forth and over again. “I-I’m close,” you manage and Yoongi takes your statement as a request. 

“You can cum, baby. Take your time. I’ve got you,” he coos, soothing your anxious limbs that are desperate for release. “Let me see. Show me how you—oh, fuck, there it is. You’re squeezing me so tight, fuck. You’re so beautiful.”

He helps you ride your wave of euphoria as it quickly crashes over your body without warning. Tiny sparks of pleasure emit from your pelvic area like shocks of electricity, triggering a spasm of kicks starting from your calves. You clutch onto him tightly, using his shoulders like an anchor to work you through the rest of your orgasm. 

His follows soon after yours. In a matter of minutes, he’s sputtering and groaning like a babbling mess, spilling his seed onto your entrance and stomach in thick, white ropes. You stick your finger into his juices and clean it with a quick swipe it with your tongue. 

He smiles shyly as his pale cheeks turn pink, slightly embarrassed at your open and eager display for his cum. He pads to the bathroom and returns with a small towel to clean you off.

“You’re so gentle,” you remark, admiring the way he softly rubs at your skin. 

“These towels are rough,” he answers absentmindedly, too focused on making sure your body is practically sparkling clean. He folds the towel and tosses it into the bathroom before slipping on his black boxers once again. You reach for your discarded panties using your toes, too tired and lazy to leave his plush bed. All he does is complain about hotel beds but this one couldn’t be any cozier. 

You tug the sheets over your waist and fluff the seemingly-unused pillow on the left side of the bed. Is it too much of a stretch to believe he doesn’t sleep on that side since it’s usually yours when you sleep together at home? Probably.

“Go turn off the TV and come cuddle. I’m sleepy,” you mumble as half of your vision is suddenly covered with your tired and heavy eyelids.

When he locks the door, turns off the lights, and hops into bed beside you, he can faintly hear the beginnings of your light snores. He settles behind you, tucking his arm over your waist before you nestle into his chest. 

For the first time in a long time, Yoongi drifts to sleep with a smile on his face. There’s no pain in his back and the pillows and blankets work together tonight to keep him warm, comfortable, and safe as he dreams that you visited and laid there beside him. He wakes up only once to make sure that his dreams are a reality and sure enough, there you are, legs curled up and body angled into his. He sleeps for the rest of the night in peace, not a single sound or thought to interrupt him as he makes up for the lost rest time he’s needed for months. 

[the--blackdahlia]

Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 18 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 18

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings:  Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.

One month after moving in.

The strain of recording was taking its toll on Nikki. He found himself doing blow in the studio. The girls being thrown at him were endless but he never once touched them. The label was pushing them to produce their album and Doc tried his best to keep them sane. (Y/n) came into their recording studio, dressed in her work attire, and tossed herself on the couch.

“If I ask for some blow, can I have some?” She asked the boys. Vince was about to hand it to her when Nikki and Tommy glared at him.

“Hey babe,” Nikki said as he walked up to her kissing her deeply. She kissed him back and smiled at him, but she looked so tired.

“How’s rehearsal going?” She asked. “Wanna switch jobs for awhile?”

“How about I take you home and you and I can take, multiple… naps.” Nikki winked at her and rubbed her sides.

“I would love to, but I have one more thing to do for this new band I got assigned today before I can leave. It won’t take long.” she sighed. “They make Motley Crue look tame. Well, one guy does. The rest just kinda go with him. But they want him out and it’s a whole big mess.” She closed her eyes. “Fucking Metallica.”

“Just take it a day at a time babe,” Nikki said as he caressed her face. He looked back at the song list and sighed. “This is turning into a big fucking mess though. I can’t find the right songs to put in here.” he ran a hand across his face. “We start touring again soon with Ozzy for Ozzfest and I am going to miss you.” he kissed her again.  

“God, I’m gonna miss you too.” She snuggled into his side. “Let me finish up with those idiots and I’ll come back and we can leave.” She didn’t want to get up though, she was happy there.

“Ok, then I’ll see you at home ok?” he whispered before giving her another kiss and a quick smack on her ass smirking at her.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” She smiled at him before leaving.

“Wait, she’s producing Metallica but not us?” Tommy asked.

“They are giving her a throwaway band to see how she handles it,” Tom their producer said. “I know you guys don’t like me but we have a good relationship, I take care of you guys! So tour starts in two weeks and then back in the studio fellas.” he said and smiled.

NIkki sighed as he went back to the sound board and listened to the songs. His head felt fuzzy and he needed an escape reaching for the blow he did and line and let it do it’s magic. Before he knew it, it was almost five, and (Y/n) was waiting out in his car for him, having finished up with her band hours before. Rushing to the exit he walked up to her and smiled.

“Come on babe, lets get some food and then you and I can have a wild ride.” he kissed her against the car his crotch pressing into hers as his hands roamed her body moaning. “Take out or eat in?”

“Take out because I need you at home now.” She whispered, kissing him deeply.

“Get a room!” Tommy called out as he made his way to his bike. “I don’t have enough alcohol to burn that out of my brain!”

Nikki flipped him off as he opened the passenger door kissing (Y/n). “We’ll have the food delivered to the house. I can’t wait to rip your clothes off and just fuck you in every room again.” he helped her in and drove off to their house.

As soon as the door closed Nikki began peeling off (Y/n)’s clothes right there in the foyer he kneeled down and pushed her up against the door. His lips on her tattoo licking and sicking on her skin as his fingers dug through her panties.

“Nik.” (Y/n) moaned. “Fuck!” She pressed against him, needing to feel him inside her. It had been a long day and she needed him. And from the looks of the strain in his tight pants, he needed her as well.

NIkki smiled against her skin as he slipped her panties off, his tongue licking a long stripe against her folds. He missed tasting her. He missed the feel of her cunt on his tongue. Sucking on her clit he pressed his fingers into her curling them, massaging her g-spot.

“Cum for me (Y/n),” he whispered. “Need to feel you cum for me baby,” he muttered as he worked his fingers fast and hard on her feeling her release build. His breathing became ragged as he felt her walls clench around him. He moaned as he slurped and sucked on her pussy her juices coating his tongue. “Fuck that’s what I’m talking about baby,” he said as he continued to play with her.

“Nikki, shit.” (Y/n) moaned, her head back against the door. “Fuck me please.” She spread her legs as much as she could to give him access to her.

“What do you want baby girl?” Nikki smiled as he teased her. The sound of him unbuckling his pants and letting the drop to the floor echoed. “Want me to fuck you from behind? on your side? On the piano? Tell me what you need.” he whispered in her ear.

“Fuck me right here against the door.” She moaned. “I just need you please.”

Turning her around Nikki grabbed his cock pumping it a few times before pushing it into her entrance. “Fuck, still just as tight as that first time babe,” he whispered in her ear as he pistoned his hips from behind her. Her body pressed up against the door. “Fuck baby, your cunt is so tight, it just swallows my cock whole,” he snaked his arm around her playing with her clit as her breasts were pressed against the door. His lips finding her neck as he licked and sucked on her pulse. He left marks on her body almost claiming her.  

“Want some blow baby?” She asked, moaning as he took her. She pressed back against him, wanting him as deep as he could go.

“Fuck yeah babe,” he said as he grabbed it from his pants pulled back leaning her forward and placing a line across her back. Snorting it, he then licked the excess as he pistoned deeper into him he never meant to be rough but something about the need he felt for her he felt his fingers wrap around her throat as he pressed her back against his chest. “Good this feel good, you feel good. I love you.”  

“I love you.” She panted. “I’m gonna cum!”

“Cum for me (Y/n),” he muttered as he pressed harder on her clit and grunted as he came in her. “I love you sweet girl.. He pulled out. “Chinese or pizza?” he said as he nipped on her ear and caressed her body. With one last searing kiss he walked over to the phone and lay on the couch.

“Pizza.” She said, throwing herself in a chair. “God, I needed that.”

“Me too baby. Come here,” he said as he sat up and let her straddle his lap. “You feel so good I just want to do it again and again.” he had placed an order for cheese pizza with wings and breadsticks. His fingers found their way back to her pussy. “Love petting that kitty,” he gave her a playful smirk. “I want to take you again baby, I want you to ride me.” his cock was already getting hard just by the feel of her straddling him.

“Mmmmm, that sounds like a good plan.” She moaned as she kissed him deeply and positioned herself over his cock, ready for him over and over again.

“Fuck,” Nikki rolled his head back as she sank down on him. He pistoned into her again their moans and screams echoing all over their house. Nikki Kissed her deeply his tongue exploring her body his teeth nipping at her skin as she fluttered. “Fuck baby… you feel so good.”  NIkki brought her hips down against hers, but something felt off, it felt too fast. He needed to slow down. He began slowing down his pace just to feel her more. He wanted their first night, when they had no need to rush, even though Tommy could’ve walked in at any second.

“Nikki.” She purred. “Love this. Love you.”

“Love you, cum for me,” he said pressing on her clit as he made slow long thrusts. But she seemed like she wanted to move a mile a minute. “Babe slow down, I want this to last…”

“I thought you liked it when we went fast and rough.” She said, slowing herself down. She looked into his eyes, seeing the love her for her evident in them.

“I do… I Just,” her pulled her close and thrust into her slowly. “I want to last and feel you. We leave in a few weeks and I just…..” She kissed him deeply.

“I’m gonna miss you. I wish I could go with you. But girlfriends cramp the style.” She moved slowly, taking him deep into her.

“Fuck that’s it babe,” he drawled as he pressed deeper into her. She rested her forehead against his, moving slowly.

“Nikki, fuck.” She moaned, tracing her fingers in his tattoos. “I’m gonna get one while you’re gone and surprise you.”

"Anything I would know," he groaned as he picked up the pace.

“It’s a surprise baby.” She smiled at him. “That would ruin said surprise.”

NIkki moaned as he kissed her thrusting into her one last time before he felt her cum around him and he spilled into her. F-f-f-fuck (Y/n/n)!” he grunted as he sank back against the couch and she fell against him. Rubbing circles on her back he kissed her head. “Love you sweet girl.”

"Love you too silly boy." She smiled at him. "I'm gonna go clean up. Pizza will be here soon. And then we can do some other activities." She headed to their bedroom, wearing his mark's proud.

Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk

Motley Crue Tags:  @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @livingdeadharley @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva

Nikki Sixx Tags: @daisystuffsstuff

Too Young to Fall in Love Tags:  @kingbouji3 @leximus98 @thekidbakerinthetardis @crystalbaby12 @shawnsstxtches

[lostandconfused26-blog]

The Starting Point

At what point do you finally build up the strength to get rid of all of the negative in your life? At what point do you say enough is enough? At what point do you realize that he is the one that makes you feel less than who you are? 

Over the last 2 years, I’ve struggled with my identity, what makes me happy, what brings me joy, where I see myself in 5 years, and so much more. I don’t think I’ve thought so much in my entire like than I have in the last 2 years about my life. 

I had suffered the hardest loss any woman could ever experience within the first 6 months of my marriage. It gives me chills just thinking about it. Miscarriage. Anytime I bring up this event in my life to anyone, they look at me like I’m fragile. Like I’m broken. I was broken. I was fragile. and for a lot longer than I let myself admit to anyone. 

I think the hardest thing about the entire experience........ 

I didn’t know how to help myself. I didn’t know how to feel. Of course I felt powerless, I couldn’t control what was happening in my own body. I was helpless, confused, and scared.  I couldn’t help but believe there was something completely wrong with me. How could I start to grow a fragile little human being  and then just out of no where, that little being was just gone.  

We had told our parents, my grandparents, close friends. I hadn’t even been able to tell my sibling that lives across the country, until I had to called him to tell him my bad news. I had so many people reach out to me and check on me, seeing if I was okay and how i was handling  the situation. Can you be anything but sad and miserable when you know that your body failed your baby? 

Failure, that’s surely a word I knew, exceptionally well. Probably should have been my middle name. I had failed my baby. I had failed my husband. i had failed myself. No one can ever ever ever understand that emotional and physical pain, unless they have been through the experience first hand. 

But let’s get to The Starting point..... The starting point here, was my miscarriage. The emotional toll the entire experience took on my life, my thoughts and my feelings. My life turned into daily break downs, going to work, coming home, taking a shower and going to bed. Most days I didn’t even eat. The emotional pain turned into physical pain. I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t know how to handle what life had thrown at me. I was losing myself. As much as my husband was there for me, I never felt more alone than I have the past 2 years. 

Fall of 2018, I was feeling beyond content and healed from the pain of my miscarriage. My full time summer program ended and I went from working 50 hours a week to working 25 hours a week. I noticed I was becoming depressed, but not about my miscarriage, just in general with life. One night I sat down and was doing my bills for the month and I realized I was being pulled in 15 million (not really) different directions. I spent most of my day in the car driving other people’s kids around and we were still barely getting by.  I decided to leave the job I loved, but didn’t make enough money at, and didn’t get any type of benefits. 

I started a new full time job with benefits in January 2019. I loved it. It’s exactly what I wanted and needed. I’m so productive and good at it (don’t wanna sound too cocky, but I really am). After a month of getting adjusted to the new schedule, and the change of pace, I was still getting depressed on a regular basis.I was coming home from work, showering, eating dinner that my husband made and then going to bed. I only worked 8:30-5, but my depression made me exhausted. 

I sent myself off in the days to follow the realization, to find out what was causing my depression.....I never wanted to say out loud what I thought the source of my depression was because I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t know how to handle it, if it was indeed what my head was telling me it was. 

My Husband. He was the source. His presence. His attitude. His lack of attention. His lack of motivation. Everything about him. He was my best friend. He knew me better than anyone else, even my own family.  But he didn’t make me happy. He was bringing out the worst in me. I thought back on the last year, and how awful I had been to him sometimes. I can’t change the past, I can only move on from it. I had realized how supportive he was when I wanted to start going to church, but he had no interest in sharing that experience with me. The hardest thing I have realized over the past 5 months, the way you react things, is what makes things the way they are. Your reaction means everything. 

February 18th, 2019---- I sat my husband down on our living room couch and told him how I had been feeling for the last year of our life together. I loved him and cared for him, but not as much as a wife should. I didn’t even love myself at the time. I didn’t know who I was with or without him. He was in total shock. He didn’t realize the affects of my mental health were having on our relationship. I honestly think he was too blind to see it. He never could tell when anything was affecting me, positive or negative. 

The weeks following, all we did when we saw each other was argue about everything and anything. I couldn’t handle it. Every single time I walked into our apartment I had a panic attack, no matter if he was there or not. 

So the starting point.... 

There is always a starting point.... and this is mine. 

xoxo 

-lostandconfused26

[sternenkrone-a-blog]

   Wyatt crosses the threshold like a whirlwind. His face is pale, a sickly ash paired with something in his eyes that speaks of plain horror. In his arms, he carries a bundle of blankets.    A moving bundle of blankets.    He brushes past Lysander without a word, heading straight into the living room. The last time he’s seen his brother like this, their father had raised his hand against Lysander for the first time out in the open. The same look of shock, the same fear that goes bone-deep. But there’s no anger woven through this time. Only the face of a scared boy.

   “Did something happen?” Lysander asks softly as he takes a seat next to Wyatt. His eyes are fixed on the bundle in his lap -- which still writhes. Here Lysander thought maybe he’d imagined that.    Wyatt bites his lip. There are dark circles under his eyes, almost as though they’re bruises. But his eyes are reddened, blood vessels popped the way they do when he doesn’t sleep well and goes to work trying not to fall asleep. He nods, a little frantic, and winces when Lysander raises a hand to place it between his shoulder blades.    “I think I’m losing it,” he whispers, and his voice shakes.    Lysander furrows his brows. “Losing it?”    “It’s,” Wyatt begins and slips a hand into the bundle on his lap. It makes a sound between a purr and a satisfied grunt. “The other day, I was… we were having dinner. The boys and I. And Sicheng was hogging the cucumber salad, and I -- I didn’t wanna get up and get it, but he wasn’t listening ‘cause he was talking to -- anyway, I wanted that salad and I was really annoyed and suddenly the bowl stood right in front of me. Just. Gone. Like… “    He licks his lips. Runs his free hand through his hair, unstyled like it seldom is. Turning his head, he gives Lysander a brief look as though he tries to gauge his reaction but doesn’t have the heart to stay for the result. Lysander’s chest tightens at the sight.    “And that… happened again, a few days later. So I sat down and… and… “ His eyes drift away to the scented candle sitting on the coffee table. He extends his free hand, frowns, and from one second to the next, the candle sits snugly in his palm. Lysander’s mouth drops open.    “You saw that, right?” Wyatt asks, staring at Lysander again. “I told the others, but they didn’t notice shit, and told me I needed to take a nap or something. But I don’t need a damn nap. Please, tell me you saw that.”    Quickly, Lysander nods. “I saw that, yes. You moved the candle without actually moving it.”    Wyatt lets out a breath that sounds uncharacteristically relieved. He puts the candle away and leans back, shoulders slumping. “You saw it. Thank god.” The bundle in his lap makes the same noise as before, still writhing under the heap of blankets.    This is the exact definition of a deja vu. When Lysander’s magic first manifested, it started out with tiny things, too. Turning on the electric kettle from his spot on the couch, switching off the light without having to physically do it. He’d chalked it up to being forgetful at first, to having done everything the way it’s supposed to and simply forgetting about it. But Wyatt is acutely aware of what’s happening, albeit scared of it. To think he would possess the same powers Lysander does is beyond odd. He’d thought him to be fully human.    Touch gentle, he brings his hand up to run it through the hairs on the back of Wyatt’s head. Wyatt melts into it, leans to the side to settle his weight against Lysander’s shoulder. When he speaks again, his eyes have drifted closed.    “But that’s not the weirdest part.” He unpacks the bundle on his lap, all careful and slow. There, in between soft fabric sits a small animal, a puppy with golden fur and a mane like a lion. It yips and shivers and tries to burrow back into the blanket. Wyatt curves a palm around its head. It nuzzles into it an instant.    “Wyatt,” Lysander whispers, gaze fixed on the puppy. “Is that --”    “So you can see him?” Wyatt interrupts him. He straightens in his seat, curling his fingers under the puppy’s chin. “None of the others can. That’s weird, right? How can that be?”    Lysander doesn’t have an answer. This puppy, this tiny bundle of fur, is a product of Wyatt’s magic -- that much he is sure of. But why would it be invisible to other people? And, more importantly, why does he see it, then? Tentative at first, he reaches out to let the puppy sniff his fingers. It looks up at him with wide, crimson-red eyes and wags its tail. Wyatt watches, looking from Lysander to the puppy and back.    “He… says you smell nice.”    “Oh.” Lysander’s face softens. He rubs a finger over the puppy’s nose, then scratches it gently behind its perky ears. “Thank you, little one.”    Wyatt still looks beyond spooked, but some of the tension has left his body. It’s easy to imagine what he went through. Discovering all of this and having nobody believe him takes a toll even on someone like him, usually so full of confidence and wit. He seems much younger like this. More innocent.    “How… did you get him?” Lysander asks after a short stretch of silence, and it makes Wyatt curl in on himself a little. He takes a deep breath, as though to steel himself.    “I went to bed early yesterday ‘cause I was feeling like shit. When I woke up in the middle of the night, he was… right there. Sleeping next to me. So I just went back to sleep. I still felt like ass and was pretty sure I was dreaming. But then he woke me up, licking my face all over. And when I went to tell the others, they didn’t believe me. ‘Cause they can’t see him.” He marks a pause, brows knitting together. “He… talks. That’s… super weird, right? But only I can hear him. Else you would’ve… caught that comment. I don’t know what’s happening, Lys.”    Lysander brings his hands up to Wyatt’s face to cup it. “That’s all right, little brother. I do.”    “Y-you do?” Wyatt’s eyes go wide.    “It’s nothing terrible, I promise. You’re not crazy.” As he speaks, he calls for Almond over their rapport, and he appears like he always does with a quiet poof, perching himself atop Lysander’s shoulder. Immediately, Wyatt recoils.    “What --”    “He’s my familiar,” Lysander answers before Wyat finishes his question. “My… well, we’re connected. He speaks, too, but only I can hear it. I, and other familiars.”    Cooing, Almond jumps down from Lysander’s shoulder to sniff curiously at the puppy. Who’s he? He’s tiny! Whatever the puppy responds makes Almond burst into giggles.    “I still don’t get it,” says Wyatt with a frown, and he sounds so lost that all Lysander wants to do is pull him close and hug him. But he resists the urge, too determined to clear that confusion.    “This’ll be a lot to take in,” he says, folding his hands in his lap. “And I know what it sounds like. I didn’t want to believe it at first, either.” This time, it’s him who takes a deep breath. “I’m a witch, Wyatt. And I think you are, too. These things happening to you? It’s your magic manifesting. And this little guy,” he gestures towards the puppy, “is your familiar.”    As expected, Wyatt gapes for a long, long moment, before he says, slowly, “You’re a… witch. Like… like in the movies? Potions and spells and… “    Lysander nods. “Yes. And no. It’s… a little different, I think. But I do work spells, and I do know how to make potions. I’m still starting out, but it’s getting there.”    And just like that, a weight lifts from Lysander’s chest. How many times did he try to work up the courage to tell Wyatt this? How many times did he start, fully intending to stop hiding the truth, only to get scared at the very last second? Wyatt is difficult, after all. Ignorant in many ways, even if he doesn’t seem too conscious of it. He has his beliefs and his opinions, most of them formed by their close-minded parents, and changing them is like pulling teeth. So Lysander steels himself for a comment that may cut deep, may hurt.    Instead, Wyatt nods, mouth still hanging open. “And I’m… like that, too? But why didn’t I know before? Why now?”    “I’m not sure. My magic didn’t come around until a few months ago, either. So --”    “A few months ago? You’ve been a -- a witch or whatever all this time and you didn’t tell me?”    A laugh slips out of Lysander’s mouth, dry and void of humor. “How was I supposed to do that? How do you just tell someone this? I’m still learning, myself. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to believe it. I’m sorry, Wyatt. I wanted to tell you sooner, I really did.”    Wyatt falls silent again. Pets the puppy, who has since started cuddling with Almond, like he did before, and then says, “I… need to think about this. Can you… can you take care of him for a while? Just… I don’t know.”    The puppy startles with Wyatt moving to get up, yipping at him.    “Wyatt, please. He’s your familiar. You can’t --”    “I don’t -- care right now, okay? I need to… this is too much.”    He’s on his feet before Lysander has a chance to stop him, out of the door before he gets another word in. A part of Lysander isn’t surprised, not about the reaction and not about how much it smarts, but another wishes that, for once, Wyatt would have changed. He looks down at the puppy -- Wyatt’s familiar -- and sighs. Almond licks the puppy all over in a means to soothe it, but it only makes the quiet whines that come out of its tiny snout louder, more miserable.    Lysander grabs his phone and sends an emergency text Qiaomeng’s way. He, hopefully, will know what to do.

[rndyounghowze]

Susan Cinoman’s “Period Piece” Draws First Blood With 36 Storytellers and 12 Performers

@periodpieceplay Gave us a wide range of stories on a topic that is usually just seen as “lady problems” @susancinoman @kcdirector

By Dana and Ricky Young-Howze

Los Angeles, California

Venmo: @rndyounghowze

Review 224

We were prepared to let this night of short plays about periods pass us by. Period Piece conceived by Susan Cinoman was a hot commodity with a rolling list of performers every night that spanned the space of three weekends. Try as we might we couldn’t get permission to the first or the third nights. Then we got an invite from Kristina Wong, one of the performers in the show, who came through for us right at the buzzer. While we didn’t get to see all three weeks we came in with certain expectations. None of those expectations came out with us after the show. This team of theatre artists led by Director Karen Carpenter went on to wow us in every single way. Let’s start from the beginning...

Better Than Elephant Dung

By: Jacquelyn Reingold

Reingold set the tone by having a super tampon to start the night. Geneva Carr is someone who has been on our radar for a bit and the way she made the character both relatable and funny was a real feat. It makes me laugh even now to think that the one thing that The Man of Steel can’t handle is the thought of period blood. It served to highlight the frailty of toxic masculinity in a fun way.

Cramps Services

By: Maria Elena Rodriguez

This was the first time we saw Kristina Wong acting in a show that wasn’t hers and it was so fun! It showed the kind of range and comedic talent that makes her one of our favorites. The play highlights the fierce dedication and technical knowledge needed to supply every person that menstruates with the products they need to just get by. This is usually a world that is invisible to the cis males of this planet. I love the way they lifted the veil. Using the backdrop of buying for craft services was genius. The hierarchy of chips to pads is something I wasn’t ready for.

Prayers To Menstruatia

By Destry Spielberg

One can often define their period by things that they can’t do. Can’t wear what you want, can’t go out where you want, the pain! It was really great to find a writer that was willing to put these things in the context of a new found freedom. Finally able to go out during the pandemic then hit by the period gods. However if feeling powerful and beautiful is embraced nothing can stop you. Destry explores the things that have been gained at the end of the pandemic and it is more than water weight.

Waiting on Womanhood

By: Ngozi Anyanwu

I really resonated with this one. Bleeding must mean death. If it doesn’t you must at least be punished in some way by the patriarchal system. The part I really resonate with is that being a woman means being watched with all these eyes on you. Candace Boahene gave us a remarkable performance that packed a lot of heart into a very small space. Ngozi created a scene that gave us the perspective of another culture in the capsule of a young student wondering about the future. Growing up could prevent her from doing and being all this young girl could be. It was important to put in to context periods globally.

Day 22

By Rhiana Yazzie

Kimberly Guerrero is very funny yet very frank in this piece. Not many people see their period as their friend. For some people it may be their oldest friend. No matter what you think you definitely do notice when it’s missing. Thanks to Yazzie for shining a light on how hyper aware people who menstruate are about any and all things period.

Way More Scary

By: Nicole Lynn Evans

Add this to one of the subjects that we didn’t think were going to be covered during the evening. Ricky’s mom is in a chair and was raised to be very proactive and proud about periods. This was very familiar and very cathartic and honest. Nicole Lynn Evans spared nothing from her straight and to the point take on the issue. When we talk equality and rights our disabled people often get left behind. Periods add another layer to that. We need to be open and honest about periods and disability to make change.

Zooey Deschanel Wants To Save The Cows, And I Want To Know Why My Abdomen Hurts

By: Jaimie Jarrett

We loved seeing a trans period moment. Jaimie Jarrett was killing us with lines like “trans is just a fun way to misspell trauma”. As two beings that fall under the trans umbrella we really appreciated it. In fact we were really expecting a lot of “bleeding equals female” in the night. I’m so happy that this show went out there and got the perspective of all people who menstruate and talked about the PTSD and the physical and mental toll dealing with this can have on them, on us.

Glorify! (the messy parts)

By: Christina Anderson

Sometimes plays need to bring up chicken dung to get their story across. Adriane Lenox took us wonderfully from rescuing a wedding dress from period blood (that’s a horror story and a half) to bringing us a charming story about throwing crap. We love seeing Black female professionals onstage and we are so grateful to have seen her.

A Really Good Lubricant

By Lally Katz

Now all of us know that sex and periods are fabled far and wide to be mutually exclusive. Others think you have to make a mess to make it any fun. Carissa Kosta sold this monologue of a woman walking that knife edge of not wanting to disappoint a potential lover but also really wanting him to leave. The part that gave Ricky chills up their spine was Kosta saying “thank God” at the end. The last thirty seconds of the play told the entire story. It was really one of the strongest of the night.

Flash Of An Eye

By Elaine Romero

Ricky has known some gymnasts and thinks that they are the most serious athletes alive. Carmen Carrera struck all of the notes you get from a gymnastics coach: dead serious, brutally honest, but also supportive. Romero painted us a great picture of a world that showed us the dark side of what most people call a dainty world. Stuff like using Tampons to keep uniforms clean, describing the massive changes going on in young athlete’s bodies, and even addressing the superstitions of their parents show that this is a different and crazy world than what we see on ESPN.

Interview With A Punk Goddess

(A fable 4 bloody sisters everywhere)

By Caridad Svich

I had no idea what a punk goddess is before but now I’m wondering where I can sign up. Caridad Svich made being a bloody beautiful monster seem so cool! Lauren Patten nailed the piece. You have a woman in a job interview which should be one of the worst places to get a period. Instead she flips the script and becomes a powerful being who tells people what she wants and that they’re going to give it. Amazing writing.

All The Shades Of Red: 13, 35, 45, 46

By Sarah Ruhl

We can’t even begin to tell you anything about miscarriages. We don’t even have the vocabulary and the language to talk about it. Sarah Ruhl pulled back the curtain on this dark and intimate world. Jessica Hecht was the perfect person to act as our handhold through the different moments of a life and how periods fell into it. Sarah Ruhl showed how our lives can be marked by these weird red milestones, the toll they can take on us, and how we look on the other side.

It’s a shame that we still need to have a feminist equality conversation around how humans bleed. That fact that this is a touchy subject for some, intimately personal for others, and a thing to be reviled by the patriarchy in the twenty-first century is atrocious. We’re so glad that these artists came together as one to address all the different intricacies around this issue. Every piece of this night was unique and different. In our experience it has been rare where we see a showcase with each piece centered around a theme and it does not hit the same monotone note every time. I was expecting a lot of “I am bleeding hear me roar” but it wasn’t that. In fact it hit a lot of different notes. We were so afraid that it would not encompass the whole spectrum of people who menstruate and it did. We were so shocked and relieved. Here’s to a show about periods and blood exceeding our expectations.

Check the Project Out For Yourself Here

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[kmjxngins]

the conservation of happiness | jongdae

q:  hi, my dear! ('tis me again ❤) i love your writing and thank you for doing this!! would love a non-idol jongdae angst to fluff. if you could tie in some serenading that'd be adorable and awesome.

a: hi dear! thank you for supporting me and liking my writings asdfgh means so much to me!! i hope this scenario fits what you wanted c”: i’m sorry jongdae didn’t come in until midway, but i felt like a regular argument wasn’t gonna make it v relatable so i made it more like a progressive thing? hope you like!! rest assured jongdae has enough screentime thO

it hadn’t been a great week - it was pretty exhausting, if you had to be completely honest with yourself. while you knew that the week was going to take a toll on you, both your mental and physical state, it had far exceeded what you prepared yourself for.

monday had started off fine, you had a paper due - but you had been working on that for a month now and you were just refining some words to make your essay sound more convincing. it was imperative that you got a good grade for that essay, since it contributed to a large percentage to your final grade in the year. and you needed the grade to make the cut for a scholarship you were aiming to apply for and obtain. you pulled out your computer from your bedside table in the morning, deciding to do some last minute editing and run-throughs before you submitted the written paper. monday had started off fine, or so you thought.

it wasn’t working - your computer. the very thing that contained your precious 25-page essay, not functioning like it should’ve been. it was a brand new computer, too, having bought it with jongdae just a few months ago. you pressed and pressed and pressed on the ‘on’ button, holding it down for long periods of time or short presses, whatever you thought would work - you were desperate to get your computer to work. fully, and utterly desperate. glancing at the clock, you huffed and got out of bed, running your fingers through your hair in slight frustration. keep calm, y/n, keep calm. you repeated over and over in your head, you couldn’t let this small setback get to you, much less affect your mood and concentration.

to your relief, you did submit the essay to your professor on time. you had pulled on a large sweater, deciding to head to the library to complete it. perhaps, you thought, that since monday brought the unexpected, that tuesday was going to be better.

it wasn’t.

you were kind of frustrated, the first two days of the week bringing you to the brink of exhaustion already. you didn’t know how exactly you were going to survive the rest of the week, it started to look less and less promising.

you had dance classes on tuesday. and dance class was almost always fun and stress-relieving, not meaning to be stress-inducing. but perhaps it was the stress of an upcoming public performance that was due to happen in two weeks taking a toll on everyone involved in the performance. or maybe it was just a bad day for the rest of the team, too. it had started off as a small strain as you were stretching for warm-up, your ankle feeling more sore than other days, less stable than most practices. but you brushed it off as not being used to dancing this much, because the last time you had been involved in a production was a year ago. 

to your, and everyone else’s, horror, your ankle gave way mid-practice, just as you were doing a pivot on your right foot. you were turning half-way, feeling a sudden strain run up the side of your leg. it was throbbing, more than a usual burn would from a muscle being overworked. an uncomfortable sensation ran through your body and despite your mind telling yourself not to fall during practice because there was just half a month left to the performance, your muscles screamed in protest, forcing you to drop on your side mid-song. long story short, your senior wrapped your ankle up in a bandage, and pushed you to the front of the room, forcing you to sit out of practice. and while you knew that he had good intentions, you couldn’t help but beat yourself up for being so careless.

the principle of conservation of momentum mentions that the final momentum would equal to the initial momentum without a net external force acting on a system. this worked the same for the principle of conservation of happiness, too, right? if monday and tuesday weren’t the best of days, the rest would be, right? you weren’t too sure anymore, you didn’t know what exactly to expect anymore. 

wednesday passed by as monotonous as ever, but you were glad nothing out of the ordinary happened. maybe the week was starting turn for the better, or so you thought.

thursday brought you nothing but trouble. you were well aware that thursday was going to be hectic - you had majority of your classes on thursday, so your bag was heavier than usual. and while you had to hobble around to the various lecture halls, ankle still recovering from tuesday’s small accident, it was relatively smooth-sailing. you hadn’t fallen asleep in any of your classes either, which was surprising (not really, considering you had gone to sleep early the night before). but as you reached into the front pouch of your bag, you realised that it had been open the entire time you were going from class to class. reaching inside to feel for your keys, your heart fell when you registered that your keys had fallen out too. exhaling through your nose, you dug into your pocket to dial jongdae’s number.

you hadn’t done so the past few days because you knew that he was busy with his own thesis statement, as well as his outdoor performance with his batchmates that was on saturday. you didn’t exactly want to disturb him with whatever you were dealing with and the both of you had reached a stage where there wasn’t a pressing need to see each other every day. you and jongdae knew the importance of personal breathing space and respected each other. your relationship was comfortable, and jongdae was always, always the one you could go back to.

he picked up two rings later, after you had pressed your phone to your ear, wanting to hear his voice and feel just a bit more comforted with his presence - even if it was just over the speakers of your phone. “hello?” you heard a chirpy voice from the receiver. you could hear the smile in his voice, unmistakable lips curling up into a bright smile imprinted in your head. you smiled slightly at that thought. “jongdae?” you murmured, readjusting the strap of your heavy bag over your shoulder. he hummed, probing you to continue. “are you home? or is it a bad time?” you asked, sighing and stepping away from the door of your apartment. you knew it was no use to stand there, when it wasn’t going to open without the key. 

“i’m home, are you okay?” he responded, to which you took a deep breath in reply, tentative and unsure. you knew that the week was important for him, for him to have a good rest and a clear mind, but at the same time, you had no where else to go, and jongdae had your extra key too. “can i come over? i know you’re busy and need to practice but i-” he cuts you off with a yes and you’re just so relieved, you didn’t know what you would’ve done. “why would my girl not be allowed over?” he teases quietly, making your lips curl up unconsciously. he seemed to always have that effect on you. you aren’t sure what it was, but he just made your day seem just so much better. it’s like he can tell how you’re feeling over the phone and you’re unbelievably thankful for someone like jongdae. 

you shuffle over to his apartment, which is pretty far away, but still a walkable distance, so you decide to take a small breather and walk, admiring the green trees along the road as best as you can. your mood isn’t the greatest, and you don’t want it to affect jongdae’s too much, either.

when you knock on his door, he opens it with a flourish, thin lips curled into a smile that you love and adore so much. his eyes are shaped into crescents and he looks so, so happy that you find yourself falling and pressing yourself against his chest. your bag drops unceremoniously to the floor and your arms wrap around his waist impossibly tight. you feel his own arms wrapping around your shoulders, hand cradling your head to his chest, chin resting on the crown of your head.

you feel so safe in his embrace, warm and cozy, and you don’t let him go even as he picks your bag up from the entrance and pushes the door to his apartment close, locking it behind him and coddling you and nudging you towards the couch. you stay seated next you him, ears still pressed close to his torso, hearing his steady heartbeat through his shirt, his skin, calming yourself down and gathering your thoughts together. jongdae lets you be, carding his fingers through your hair softly, gently, keeping quiet and waiting for you to speak.

which you do, eventually. you tell him about your week, which hasn’t been at all fulfilling, nor happy. you tell him about your new theory about the conservation of happiness - he laughs at it, which makes you feel more at home. his laugh is so uniquely his, reverberating through his throat and coming out so genuine, that you can’t help but want to hear it for the rest of your life. he sounds the happiest when he’s laughing, and you figure that you want to be the source of that happiness for a long time. but he listens, shifting the both of you into a comfortable position and you’re leaning against him. you talk, and talk, and talk. you don’t know how long you’ve talked for - but you’re exhausted and relieved because you somehow don’t feel so bad about yourself anymore. 

jongdae’s fingers run up and down your back soothingly and as you find yourself losing steam and trailing off, you hear him say, “wanna have a listen of the song i’m performing this saturday?” and you’re kind of shocked. you look up at him with a questioning gaze because he’s been keeping this song under wraps for a long time, not letting you hear it at all. you know that this is a pretty important song to him, because he usually shares his compositions with you and you’re always the first to hear the raw versions of his future performances and pieces for class. 

“it’s supposed to be for you, anyway.” he confesses, laughing at your perplexed expression and pressing his lips to the tip of your nose. oh, you mouth in understanding and nod slowly, not expecting an impromptu singing session on jongdae’s part. jongdae just laughs and clears his throat, the first note of the unperformed song resounding through the otherwise empty apartment of his. it rings loud and clear, his voice crystal clear, like a refined diamond. he sings, and you glance at him, feeling yourself smile at his expression. his eyes are closed and he always has that look of conviction, concentration and passion for singing whenever he does - which you hope to see in yourself.

never gonna let you go, giving you my heart and soul, i’ll be right here with you for life

he sings to you, peeking one eye open at times to make eye contact, a smile creeping into his voice when he catches you staring. you hold the eye contact with him, raising your eyebrows slightly, in a friendly yet challenging manner. he laughs, pressing fingers to your side, making you feel ticklish, making a move to squirm away from him. he keeps his grip on you though, strong yet loving - you don’t know how he does it, but he always manages to make you feel better in one way or another. you know that while your week is far from over, with jongdae around, it’s nothing that can’t be overcome. 

perhaps your principle of conservation of happiness isn’t wrong after all.

[screwtoddstevesherdaddynow]

California Heart

Chapter 2: Unexpected Coincidence "Um thanks for helping and seeing if I was okay." I nodded. "No problem. I wanted to make sure you were alright." James smiled real big. "Didn't want to damage that pretty face." "Thanks." Now I knew that was a potential move. I had to admit, he was very handsome. You could tell he had natural tan and that he spent time mostly outside. His hair was slicked back as if it were still possibly wet from the ocean. Looking at me with those hazel eyes that had specks of gold that shimmered. The five o'clock shadow complimented his sculpted face perfectly. Even though he was wearing a simple black tank, it was some sort of teasing gesture. Pressed against his body, you could sort of make out the pattern of his abdominal area. Woah. "Hello? Leslie?" He waved his hand, which I was thankful for. I didn't want to seem like the girl that always gawked at him. "Well this was nice, but I have to go." I pointed in the direction in which I intended walking in before. I turned around and started walking away from James. Hoping he would just walk back to his friend. I was unlucky with that. Feeling a tap of two fingers on my left shoulder, I turned around to face him. "Yes?" "Where are you from?" James asked quizzing me. "How do you know I'm not from here?" I asked back. He smirked as if I had challenged him in some sort of way. "Well for starters, your skin." He pointed and grabbed my arm gently to show it. James was right though, I was as pale as a ghost. Now I had something to add to this bucket list for the summer. Get tan as soon as possible. Last time I had any color was that last summer before Grandmother passed on. "Yeah so, I'm pale." I shrugged my shoulders. "I can see that. Would almost need my sunglasses." He teased. "Oh really? Cute, as would I." I snapped. "Why's that?" James seemed confused. "So I wouldn't have to view the arrogant person making fun of my skin." I continued. "Not all of us can spend 24/7 under the blistering son." "I'm not here at the beach everyday." He shot back. "Look, arguing with you sounds about as fun as getting a root canal. Twice, but I must get going." I said sarcastically. "I guess I'll see you around." He shrugged his shoulders and turned around. I watched as he walked back to his friend with his football in hand. I headed in the opposite direction and made my way down the beach. What had I done back there? I literally was so cocky. I'm never that way. Usually I am shy and tell them thank you and leave. By them, I mean cute guys. He didn't make it any easier. If you want to make a move and flirt with a girl, usually you don't make fun of her skin or anything else for that matter. It's true, that I may have been hard on the poor guy, but I have a thick skin and I wasn't going to fall for that beach dude charm. I wasn't a beach bunny. James said he would see me around, hoping he may have another chance for that matter. Well if it's up to me, he won't have another one. Once I got to the pier, I turned around and noticed I walked pretty far. It paid to be on the cross country team back home. Noticing a small restaurant, I got excited as my stomach growled. My one hope is that they had French fries. That was my guilty food of choice. The taste of the crispy potato was making my mouth water thinking about it. Smelling their scent while they were always cooking was intoxicatingly wonderful. Walking up to the counter, I saw the friendly waitress get ready to pen my order. She was fairly older and had her glasses on a chain around her neck. I would say maybe fifty seven years of age. She seemed very lively and upbeat. Her name tag read Harry. I am assuming it was short for Harriet. "What can I do for you sweetheart?" She chirped. Harry seemed to have a polite demeanor. Almost grandma like charm. "May I have a small order of your fresh cut fries, with a side of mayonnaise please?" I asked. I looked up at the menu. There was array of many food items. Fish tacos, to chicken tender baskets. They had a separate menu for desserts and soft drinks. I found something that caught my attention and would possibly quench the outrageous thirst I had. "Also one of your Rootie Toot Toot Root Beer Float please!" "You got it honey. If you wanna take a spot over there. I'll bring it to you." Harry smiled. I looked at her and then reached into my pocket for some money. Realizing my shorts didn't have pockets and I felt a rush of anxiety rush over me. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't realize I didn't have money. I can run to my cousin's house to get some." My words ran together so fast out of my mouth. Harry giggled and ripped my bill from her tablet. "Honey, you go make yourself comfortable. It's on me." She reassures me. "Are you sure? I'll pay you back." I insisted. "Tell you what. Do you see that help wanted sign?" She said pointing to the sign by the napkin dispenser. I nodded. "You got it! I'm a very good worker and I won't slip up." I beamed. "Woah there deary, slow down." She giggled again. "The job is yours. Maybe with that young pretty face we can get some of them younger kids in here. My son is always coming up with ways to get people here." "Oh, how old is he?" I asked to make it sound I was interested. In a way I was. "He's twenty. Works for my ex husband as an extra mechanic." She explained. "Does he help out here?" I played with some straw paper. "Oh once in a great while. He's his father's son." She rolled her eyes. I looked at her studying her features some. Her eyes twinkled with gold specks in the pools of green they were. When you'd look closely, you'd see freckles sprawled out on her nose and cheeks. The small spurts of gray in her hair made her look distinguished somewhat. "If you don't mind Harry, why did you divorce him? I mean I don't want to be nosy." I lied. It's one of those things you feel the need to ask. "Well honey, see we have three beautiful children. My daughter and two sons." She started tearing up and went on. "We were going to have a fourth child. We didn't know exactly the sex or anything more at the time. One day, we had started out on a small trip down to San Diego to see some family. My daughter at the time, stayed home with my parents. So it was me and my two sons. My husband Hal was already there in San Diego with his mom. On our way down, we had an accident. A drunk driver caused it. My youngest son had serious injuries, as well as my oldest had some broken ribs. I lost the baby." "Oh Harry, I am so sorry." I began to weep. She grabbed a tissue from behind the counter and wiped my tears. "It's alright. God needed the little angel. But after that, I had became depressed and so did Hal. It took a toll on us badly and that's when we thought we would mutually agree to the divorce." She explained. Harry walked to the fryer and got the fries out to put in my small container. "Are you still close?" I hoped they were. I felt so bad. "Of course. Hal is my best friend." She reassured me. That made me feel somewhat better that they were still close. It was good for them both. I was glad it hadn't ended on bad terms. Harry handed me the fries and my mayonnaise. "Well dear, you can start today. After you're done eating. Mind peeling potatoes?" Harry asked while wiping her counter. I nodded and she smiled. Weird enough, it's as if I had seen the smile before. I shrugged that thought away. Later on, I had peeled a fifty pound bag of potatoes and had them ready to be thrown into the fryer. Harry had a few more customers through the day. Some of them were families with little kids. Some were so very bratty, as others were well behaved. Harry gave those children lollipops for their good behavior. After that, I refilled the napkin dispensers and made sure all the salt and pepper shakers were full. It felt good to be productive. Plus Harry seemed like the first decent person I've met since getting here besides Macy and her beau. James I was still iffy about. Eventually I began sweeping up some garbage and dirt off the floor and I heard the bell ring at the door. I looked up and saw the familiar face walking towards me. This time he had ripped jeans on and a normal white tee shirt on. His hair was still slicked back. He took his sunglasses off and there was those perfect hazel eyes again. James had walked in. "Can I help you?" I sarcastically asked. He chuckled. "I'm here for the owner." James said a matter of factly. I looked at him confused. "Well I don't think your moves will work on Harry." I began sweeping again. "Well I would hope not." He teased. All of a sudden the door to the kitchen swung open. Harry came out with her smile bigger than before. She came over and gave James a big bear hug and squeezed him. "My boy is here!" She yelled. "Boy? Your boy?" I was beyond confused. Was this the younger son she had? "Yep that's right, Harry is my mom." He noticed my questionable look. "James be nice. Now meet my new employee." She looked over at me. "Oh bother, honey I never got your name. What is it again?" "Leslie. It's Leslie mom." James butted in. He winked. "Do you two know one another?" Now Harry was confused. "Kinda. We met on the beach earlier." Setting the broom aside and tried to comprehend this. "Well good I'm glad you know each other already." Harry chirped. She left go of James and turned towards the kitchen. She yelled back to him. "James, honey I'm going to make your fish tacos." "Thanks mom!" He smiled. His gaze came back to me as I stood there as still as a stone. "Harry is your mom?" I asked again. "Yeah, and apparently you work for her?" He shot back. "No, I just sweep the floors for the floor fetish I have." Curse my sarcastic nature. "Listen I wanted to apologize." James sat down at the table next to where I was standing. "For what exactly?" He didn't really have to apologize but it was nice. "For apparently putting the moves on you." James looked up at me and waited for my response. "It's okay. I shouldn't have got so defensive." Pulling a chair out for myself, I sat down. "Can I ask you something?" He asked me as he fiddled with his yarn bracelet on his wrist. It was pretty. It had three different colors and was braided so well. "Shoot." I egged him on to continue. "What brings you here?" He could see I was caught off guard from the question. Was he actually wondering for the purpose of caring? Or was it because he was nosy? "Well..." I began. This was gonna be a long story. I wasn't sure how to put it, but I could tell he was actually interested. So maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to tell him why I'm here. He was being nice this time. At least I'm hoping he is. There was only one way to tell if his concern is real. So I began my story. Chapter 3 is next!!