#it's been so long that i want to start with new threads rather than deep dive into my drafts-- not yettt.

[velvetineblue]

CHARACTER INFO SHEET ;

NAME : taiyang theodoré tseng .

NAME MEANING : sun / god-given gift / high, elevated, steep

ALIAS : mostly just 'tai' .

ETHNICITY : taiwanese .

ONE PICTURE / ICON YOU LIKE BEST OF YOUR CHARACTER : hmmmmmm... many options asjjaj but this one is one of my fav graphics i've made !!

THREE HCS YOU NEVER TOLD ANYONE :

a weird, (?) comfort food that he will make is a pb&j sandwich but with strawberry jam or orange marmalade (or both!) and peanutbutter... and he'll add marshmallow fluff if there is some in the pantry, if he wants a sweet treat. : 3

in his vampire verse, he has shadow/darkness manipulation magic, && can shift into a black wolf : 33 he has the capability of shifting into pretty much any nocturnal predatory creature ( yes, including bats asjajj ) but it's a difficult and learned skill, and a wolf is the only one he is practiced at && is good at so far......... he's practicing how to git gud at birds and other creatures of flight because that would be hella useful but. he's not very good at it at the time and can only do it for a short burst jasjajj. these shifting abilities ONLY work at night, though!! only when the moon is out; never in the daytime .

the man who took care of little-tai while his father was in jail ( who is his dad's best friend ) was very frugal, modest in accommodation's, and believed that anything extraneous to be bought for the household, tai had to earn. mostly by doing chores or something else productive with his time. because of this, he grew up without a lot of 'luxuries' that others were accustomed to: for example, there was no internet access in his home; he had to go to the library or his school to use the internet! and he didn't have a cell phone until he was 17, and that's because he saved up money from a summer job to buy his own... and on a similar vein ( perhaps because of this ), he's not as addicted to tech as a lot of other people his age?? he uses social media but in like... low-moderate amounts. he's def not addicted to it and he doesn't use it all that often, comparative to most people in his age/generation group.

THREE THINGS YOUR CHARACTER LIKES TO DO IN THEIR FREE TIME :

jogging / hiking, etc; finding a place in nature that is pretty/cool and hanging out there, enjoying the ambience . . .

he's not extremely mechanically knowledge, but if there is any work he can do himself on his car(s), he rly enjoys when he can do it! the hands-on challenge is fun & it's satisfying to know he did it HIMSELF. he likes cars in general; likes going on drives while listening to music, likes checking out interesting/sEXy/rare models of cars ... even in verses where racing is not a thing he does/did, he enjoys car shows, clubs, shops, etc; he might go them if he's bored and they're around. he luvs his car; it his babie <; 3

pretty much anything to do with animals; he will meet up with someone there so fast!! the zoo, aquarium, dog parks, etc... if there's a chance he can see ( or better yet, inTERACT WITH ) animals, he's on his way— hE'S ZOOMIN!!!!

TWO THINGS YOUR CHARACTER REGRETS :

in his supernatural/SoL verses: he had a very close childhood-friend named Nihat that moved to LA to be in the band: tai half-convinced him to move to LA, but honestly, not really; nihat really wanted to come anyway, he was just waiting for the formal invitation. sadly, nihat ended up becoming deeply entrenched in the vices of the LA music scene and that trouble... ultimately led him to the end of his life ... tai deeply regrets ever inviting nihat to La. the guilt has haunted him ever since. there's a lot more i want to write on that topic but i would accidentally write a novel so i gotta stop there ajsajjj

he regrets not doing more for his mom when she was alive. he was only eight when she passed away, and realistically, ooc, we all know there really wasn't anything he could do for her that could have helped her with her mental health struggles; and even if there was, that wasn't his responsibility to take on; he was a child and should not have had to care for her or worry about her health-- it is the other way around ... but he's never been able to accept that. he has always carried the guilt and regret that he couldn't do more, and couldn't save her... couldn't give her a reason to live, or be enough for her to want to.

ONE PHOBIA YOUR CHARACTER HAS : most of his fears are psychological but... one physical thing that is nightmare fuel for him would be if he was locked in a claustrophobic small space alone, all on his own, for a long time, with no way to exit, and it didn't seem like someone was coming to get him...... . o _ o that would be very near the top in his list of "worst ways to die" asjjajj

[special-agent-sass]

Brighter Future

Warnings: Smut, Dominant Gibbs.

I wanted to try something new so I wrote this in the typical third-person POV but focusing on Gibbs’ thoughts rather than the reader’s. I don’t know how to feel about it.. read it, tell me what ya think haha. I tried my best.

Gibbs slammed the basement door behind him, his jaw clenched in frustration. That damn woman was going to be the death of him. When he'd seen Y/N leave the bar with some pretty boy, laughing and flirting, his gut had twisted into knots. He knew it was irrational - she wasn't his to claim - but that did nothing to temper the surge of jealousy burning through him.

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs tried to rein in his emotions as he started sanding the latest addition to his boat. It was a lost cause, though. No matter how hard he focused on the rhythmic strokes, his mind kept drifting back to her.

Y/N Y/L/N. The beautiful, stubborn, reckless thorn in his side. From the moment she'd joined his team two years ago, Gibbs had been drawn to her like a moth to a flame. With her leather jacket, tattooed skin, those damn tight jeans and devil-may-care attitude, she was everything he never knew he wanted.

They clashed constantly, her recklessness grating against his rigid control. But underneath the arguments simmered an attraction that left them both flustered and on-edge. He'd catch her gazing at him when she thought he wasn't looking, green eyes dark with longing. It took every ounce of restraint not to pin her against the wall and kiss that smart mouth of hers until neither of them could breathe.

Gibbs switched to a finer grit sandpaper, losing himself in the methodical motions. This was useless. She consumed his thoughts whether he liked it or not. He remembered the first time he saw her - long dark hair spilling over a muscular back, tight jeans accentuating every curve. When she'd turned and met his gaze, Gibbs felt a spark of electricity jolt through him. No one had affected him like that in a long time.

From that moment on, she was always there, challenging him, pushing his buttons. He lived for their clashes, the passion simmering between them. But he had to be careful. Dating a co-worker never ended well, and she was too young for the likes of him anyway.

So Gibbs had resigned himself to longing from afar, sure she would never share his inappropriate feelings. Seeing her with that young punk at the bar, Gibbs' restraint shattered like glass. The thought of her going home with someone else sent him into a possessive rage he didn't recognize.

Gibbs looked up when he heard his front door open. Speak of the devil. Y/N hesitated at the top of the stairs, uncertainty clouding her features. His heart stuttered as their eyes met. God she was beautiful, even with her lip caught between her teeth and uncharacteristic vulnerability lurking in her gaze.

Setting the sandpaper down, Gibbs turned to face her. "Shouldn't you be out with your boyfriend?" He winced as the words came out harsher than he intended.

Y/N didn't seem offended, though. Slowly descending the stairs, she said "He's not my boyfriend. Just an old friend from high school."

Gibbs watched her approach, the sway of her hips hypnotic. His mouth went dry when she stopped mere inches away, tilting her face up to meet his gaze.

"I didn't go home with him. I realized there was somewhere else I wanted to be instead."

Gibbs' pulse roared in his ears as her meaning sank in. Unable to stop himself, he reached out and caressed her cheek, thrilling when she leaned into his touch. Her skin was so soft under his calloused fingers and he ached to explore every inch of her.

"Y/N..." he started, but she placed a delicate finger over his lips.

"I'm tired of dancing around this, Jethro. I want you. I've wanted you from the moment I saw you."

That was all the permission Gibbs needed. With a groan he threaded his fingers through her hair and claimed her mouth in a searing kiss. She melted against him instantly, nails scraping down his back as she kissed him back fiercely. It was better than any fantasy - the taste of her, the feel of her supple body aligning with his.

Gibbs maneuvered them until Y/N was pinned between him and the workbench. His hands drifted down to grip her ass, pulling her tight against him as he dominated the kiss, taking everything she offered. When they finally broke for air, he took in her kiss-swollen lips and darkened gaze. She was a vision.

"I need you. Now," Y/N panted, and Gibbs heartily agreed. He made quick work of her shirt, groaning at the expanse of tattooed skin revealed. Dropping hot, open-mouthed kisses along her neck, he deftly unhooked her bra and palmed her breasts. Y/N moaned loudly when he bit down on the skin below her jaw, the sound shooting straight to his groin.

He deftly unbuttoned her jeans. His hand slipped inside, finding her hot and wet for him already. Y/N cried out as he stroked her. Her head fell back, exposing the graceful column of her throat. he ducked down to kiss and nip his way up to her ear.

"Tell me you're mine," Gibbs growled.

"Yes, all yours," she panted.

Gibbs withdrew his hand, ignoring her noise of protest as he stripped her jeans off. He bent her over the table.

"You've been teasing me for months in these tight jeans," Gibbs said gruffly, caressing her ass. He gave her a sharp smack and she yelped. "Now you're going to get what you deserve."

He intended to take his time worshipping every inch of her, but Y/N was having none of it. She looked over her shoulder at him with lustful eyes and begged "please, just take me!"

Well, who was he to deny such a polite request?

He freed myself from his own jeans. With one powerful thrust he was buried inside her tight heat. Y/N cried out, pushing back against him. Gibbs set a relentless pace, all the desire he’d bottled up spilling out.

"Harder!" she gasped. He obliged, gripping her hips bruisingly tight.

Gibbs could feel her getting close, inner muscles starting to flutter around him. He reached around to circle her clit and she shattered with a scream, her climax triggering his. He came hard, emptying himself deep inside her.

Later, they lay tangled together on a pile of blankets, her head pillowed on his chest. Idly trailing his fingers over her back, Gibbs pressed a kiss into her hair.

"What made you change your mind about us?" he asked.

Y/N tilted her face up to meet his gaze. "I saw the way you looked at me tonight. Like I was something precious. No one's ever looked at me like that before."

Gibbs' heart swelled and he pulled her close. "You are precious. And you're mine now."

She smiled softly. "Yours. As long as you'll have me."

"Forever then," he stated simply. Y/N's eyes shone at that and she snuggled into his embrace.

As Gibbs held the beautiful, reckless woman who had captured his heart, he sent up a silent thanks to whoever had brought her crashing into his life. With her by his side, the future seemed brighter than ever.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hi! I know the requests are closed, but for when you can take requests again, I would like if you could write as a kind of part two for "A second chance" Lucien's reaction when he meets his new little sister. I think it would be a very nice story. Thank you!

Couldn't hold myself back... This can be read as a standalone but the first part is here. 🥺✨

A second chance II

It ate at Helion for so long because he wanted to tell Lucien himself. Son or not. Father or not. The girl growing within you was his sister and Helion wasn't going to pretend that she was the only child. So he tried to invite Lucien over more than once, just the male had come up with every possible excuse to not come. So as the weeks went on Helion had just accepted that for now, this would have to be the way that it was and you tried to comfort your lover the best that you could but a thread of sadness lingered.

Your pregnancy stayed a secret for a couple of months. Helion was rather paranoid that someone might turn against him still. Especially with the new laws intertwining day and night courts. So it's a long way down the line when he's raising a glass at one of his big gatherings, hosting multiple courts. His speech is strong and captivating as always as he cheers to every high lord willing to create strong alliances. Until he's turning your way, a bright smile on his face, "And to my wife", he says, "Who's been carrying my babe for the past couple of months". You flash him a smile just a bright, hand instantly moving to rest on your tummy. Oh, how good if feel to need need to hold yourself back from running your fingers against your growing tummy. Loud applauses ring out and Helion's closest friends are there clapping his shoulders, laughter fills the room and it all finally starts to feel even more real. It's just the fact that Lucien's chair is now empty that makes your own heart sting a little.

And it's a couple of days later when the servant knocks gently on your office doors, pulling you away from some of the paperwork you agreed to cover for Helion. "My lady, you have a guest", your eyebrows knit together because you weren't waiting for anyone. Had your baby brain made you miss something? "What guests, Larry?", you say, scattering your meeting book, "Lucien Vanserra, my lady". Your body freezes. He never visits unless it was court-ordered.

Jumping right up you move out in the lower greeting hall that you assumed he would be waiting. And he is there. His deep red hair is such a contrast to the light interior. "Lucien", you call out softly and the male turns around quickly, nearly knocking the vase he was looking at over. He takes a steps forward and the guards instantly leap from their positions. But you lift your hand, "Out all of you", they all linger but the glare you send them is enough to make them think twice.

"My apologies", you say once again turning to Lucien, "Everyone's kind of protective", you chuckle slightly, watching Lucien's eyes fall onto your now round stomach. "Helion is a way for a couple more hours. If you'd like...", but Lucien is shaking his head. It was clear that whatever that's going on in his head had been clawing at him for some time. "Is it a boy...", he speaks up finally and you quickly shake your head, "No, a baby girl". Your hands caress the swell of your stomach and you can see the gleam that runs through Lucien's eyes.

"Are you safe? Is he not harming you?", the question feels so raw and you know those fears had been engraved there by no other than Beron. "Your father is excited to have a girl", you reassure him, "Should have seen him covered in pink paint yesterday". You chuckle under your breath slightly as the images of last night's nursery paint testing flowed into your head. You step closer to Lucien, reaching your hand out towards him, "You know Helion wanted to tell you in person but...", and he nods quickly, well aware that he was the one dismissing Helion's requests.

"I would love for her to have a brother", you mutter quietly, trying to keep your own emotions at bay, "or at least to tell her about you because you are family to us". Lucien sucks in a sharp breath. You can't imagine how hard it all must feel to him. Finding out that the monster torturing you had never even been your father.

The silence falls upon you both and you suddenly feel like you might have overstepped the boundaries. Until Lucien mutters quietly, "I would love to", he startles, "Love to be her brother". Your eyes softens, picking up with tears ever so slightly. You drew your hand closer to cup the younger male's face, his almost desperate eyes looking back at you.

"Give me your hand", you mumble, reaching out to Lucien till he slides his hand into yours. You quickly pressed his warm palm to the side of your stomach where you felt the light kick last. "That's your brother, stardust. The one Dad and I've been telling you about", Lucien lets out a surprised gasp when a tiny hand pushes against your skin. "She can recognize voices now so", Lucien is nodding desperately before saying, "Hey, little one. Sorry that I've been away but I'm here now... I'll protect you", that's enough to set the stream of tears flowing down your cheeks as you watch the two siblings interact. Once again feeling more than honored that you can bring a piece of true family into Lucien's life. "Stay for some tea", you ask the fireling softly and Lucien nods without a second thought.

And the surprise on Helion's face when he steps into the dining room. Fully prepared to bring a plate up for you to your chambers but instead he finds you and Lucien deeply lost in a conversation. And now he understands where all that extra love and happiness was coming from the bond. Lucien quickly stands up at the sight of Helion standing there but the high lord shakes his head, "There's no need for you to stand up, my boy". He catches your gleaming eyes, and his own heart leaps. "Lucien is staying for dinner", you say happily, to which Lucien throws you a genuine smile. Helion's heart nearly bursts because is this a step forward? Does it mean his son is willing to give him a chance? To give his family a chance? "Oh, and he doesn't agree with the guard placement", you mutter, making Lucien roll his eyes, "As eager as you to turn my home into a prison", you cross your arms over your chest playfully. Protective. Already so protective. "I'm more than happy to listen to his thoughts", Helion says and his eyes meet Lucien's. For the first time trying meets his son's gaze.

[archer-kacey]

Something I noticed is a lot of people who hated BATIM love BATDR and a lot of people fond of BATIM dislike BATDR. To me, this seems like a mechanics vs story issue. The actual game mechanics and aesthetic of BATDR disguise the lackluster characters and plot holes. However, BATIM still suffers those same issues.

This is a vague question, but what are your thoughts on BATIM vs BATDR story wise? Is either of them truly better? Or are they just flawed in different ways?

Sorry, this is long, but so are BATIM and BATDR :')

I think you hit the nail on the head in the sense that yes- BATDR has better gameplay and mechanics than BATIM, but BATIM by far has a much more compelling story that was able to capture and keep attention over the course of five chapter releases. And yes, BATIM is not without its flaws, for example it's mainly a walking simulator in terms of actual gameplay- the only thing saving it being the unique ability to suck the player in through the rich, stylistic environments.

In terms of story, here's my take for both of them-

BATIM is more solid overall, there are more connected plot points and there's a thread there to be followed from start to finish. It does suffer from some WTF plothole moments, the biggest one being Alice's 180 degree turn with suddenly using Boris as a killing machine rather than...what I can only assume was a plan to use his ink/body as some kind of reparative agent for the hole in her face (like thicc ink premium idk), or...some kind of spell...? It's honestly not very clear HOW she was going to use him, but bottom line she decided to entirely change her plan off-screen, which could have been remedied with something like a cutscene's worth of explanation, and more of a buildup to Brute Boris. The "reveal" in the haunted house didn't hold that much weight (at least to me,) just because we didn't even get a cookie crumb of a hint that Alice was going to mutilate him and use him as a drone instead of just axe him.

There are other nonsense details like Allison's ominous "I'm no Angel" line, which didn't make sense when Tom was the one to want to leave Henry. It was never explained WHY the Ink Demon walks around with a limp when he can shapeshift into a bigger and faster Beast version of himself (and apparently he was ALSO the hand in the ink river??? I guess???) And can we talk about how the cult Joey started was just never brought up again? Wally talks about how workers were encouraged (or mandated, idk) to put offerings in the break room to "appease the gods." What gods? Was Joey worshiping Bendy like a god? NONE OF THIS IS EXPLAINED EVER and honestly I think Micheal D. and Meatstick just Forgot that Joey was a cult leader in favor of Sammy's cult storyline.

But despite all of the plot holes, we still get a tale of a deteriorating studio, humans being used as literal skeletons for lifelike versions of cartoon characters, themes of life, death, cults, art, and more. Honestly, going deep into the plot of Bendy would take its own post to really do it justice.

I guess the main plot is this: Ex-co-founder of Joey Drew Studios, Henry, is trying to get the fuck home to his wife, learning along the way that through the power of a mysterious ink machine, his ex-business partner decided to coerce and persuade people to Literally Die so he could have the necessary materials to create living versions of his cartoons, thus making "his" characters (and more importantly, Bendy,) a reality. Once Henry does escape, he learns that Joey has sent him through this same hell before, still filled with hatred and spite, just in time for Joey to assumedly "reset" him and send him on a different version of the same journey, as we can guess from the storyboards on display in Joey's apartment. THAT on its own is an intriguing and layered tale, and that's not even including the other details, voices, and faces we run into in BATIM, AND the new info we learn in BATDR.

Now, BATDR...is something I've come to view as a mixed bag.

Story-wise, it weirdly wants to have its cake and eat it to. Henry's story is elaborated on, and part of Audrey's origins are also brought to light. This is helpful information concerning the plot of BATIM...but then we get assblasted with a ton of new characters and lore for a completely new Cycle under the reign of a completely new Random Old Man. I know he's Nathan's son, and he was mentioned in both Illusion and Fade to Black...but those were de-canonized, so it almost doesn't help context-wise...???? So...????

In a lot of ways, BATDR almost acts like it wants to be an AU branching from BATIM rather than a direct sequel, which it was marketed/confirmed as.

I think my biggest problem with BATDR is that some of the main characters are bafflingly like. Mishandled.

I'm gonna have the mildest take on earth and say I didn't like the new Ink Demon. Old design was better and more uncanny by far, the new design looks like Generic Satan or something straight out of Baldur's Gate. He was given a deep, guttural growling voice because....tumblr sexyman I guess. Even if they needed him to talk, it could've been something more breathy and raspy, true to the heavy breathing of the original Ink Demon. Also, his alternate form was made very childlike, and I'm just weirded out by the fact that you have this oddly "sexified" version of the Ink Demon on the flipside of Bendy the Child. I don't think any ill intent was meant by this, but it's more confusing than anything thematically. I'm also not sure why Bendy's abuse was brought up and then never touched on....? Like wasn't this guy locked up and called a monster his whole life? Are we going to...say something especially considering the moral of this story......?

Memory Joey is completely fine, but I just can't shake the feeling that the narrative is trying to paint IRL Joey as "UWU fixed now" when that's not the case. The most sympathy I can extend to IRL Joey is that he was a gay man who desired to have a family at a time when that was not only frowned upon but dangerous, not just socially speaking but in terms of his physical safety. But beyond that, this was a dude who locked people in a building to keep them working, coerced and possibly forced the deaths of many people to get what he wanted (the ink machine was a scientific advancement that could've had AMAZING implications for society but he Did Not Give a Shit about that), and was abusive towards Henry. If we trust the Bendy books, he also gaslit and killed his teenage staff. This motherfucker isn't a patron saint of anything, and even if Memory Joey can learn from IRL Joey's mistakes, IRL Joey was still a shitbag who just happened to raise a daughter.

Which leads me to Audrey. Some of Audrey's tale is explained- she was raised by Joey, forgot Joey was her father, and came to work at Archgate as an animator. Got to know Wilson, who works as a janitor at Archgate, and then he drags her into ink hell because....idk, she's his version of "A Perfect Boris" I guess. Fair enough. However, it's NEVER EXPLAINED how Audrey doesn't remember her father, or WHERE she went to live after his passing, or WHO she lived with. Remember, Joey was as old as a cave painting, so he clearly passed when she was very young. While you could argue she doesn't remember his name because she was little, SURELY she remembers his face or voice, or the fact that she HAD A FATHER??? Like, was there some huge trauma there? (Other than the fact that Joey was her dad?) It makes little sense to me that she would forget so easily. If I had to make a guess (and granted I'm no Mark Twain), I'd wager that Allison probably found Joey dead. Remember that Nathan hadn't talked to Joey in years, and Allison was the one who went out of her way in the first place to visit. At this point, Allison's gonna find a little girl running around by herself, and assumedly her and Thomas would've taken her in. If that's not the case, someone else found Joey dead, at which point Audrey would've possibly lived with Nathan and Tessa, considering how much Nathan cared about Joey. Either party has ties to Archgate. But all of that is just speculation, not confirmed, and even if any of that were true, Audrey makes no mention of it. And I'm sorry, Audrey's backstory makes me want to cry, because it's just NOT THERE and she has the personality of a depressed bucket.

Alice was alright...but she was kind of stupid? Which is like....the antithesis of everything cool about her? Instead of using traps and luring the main character from a distance, she knocks out Audrey (via unspecified drink), plays Diet Jigsaw with Audrey, and then gets pushed off a balcony. She was also a lot more...idk, suave and sultry in speech mannerisms in BATDR, which isn't bad, but her unhinged and clever nature seemed a bit watered down.

I don't really have notes on the rest of the main cast. Sammy was brought back to die immediately, which honestly was fine considering his death track record. We get some mentions of BATIM characters. Wilson and Betty were fine, and even some of the lore explaining how the timelines work made sense.

HOWEVER,

I've already said it a hundred times, but the old cast was shoved to the side for a bunch of new characters we had no time to connect with. A new butcher gang member was added when we still have Miss Twisted as a potential female-role filler (keep in mind the Projectionist is based on Camera Man and Brute Boris was based on The Brute.) The whole "Amok" thing was a REALLY roundabout way to get the Lost Ones to stop attacking Audrey.

Wilson's motivations are mostly consistent and I'd argue somewhat compelling, but I don't understand why he didn't do more to protect Audrey if he was going to need her for the endgame for Shipahoy Dudley? Like what's all this about letting her run around and get killed? Was he just aware that she'd revive?

The main message of BATDR was fine, but it didn't work super well for Audrey's character. She'd already forgotten Joey was her father, and was living in blissful ignorance of that fact until Memory Joey decided to infodump on her right away. Sure, the "just because you were born of darkness doesn't mean you have to be darkness" thing applies to her AFTER she learns Joey was her father, but...Audrey was never threatening to Become Evil, so it almost didn't need to be said and was kind of a flat message...? I would argue Memory Joey would benefit more from that message- as he's a literal copy of a Very Bad Dude. My guy was projecting this whole time.

I do think BATDR was worse story-wise, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend it didn't have certain disadvantages from the start. The Kindlybeast debacle happened, BADTR was trying to continue a story from an existing property, and there was a severe lack of Adrienne Kress. Okay, maybe the last one was a bit much, but still. That doesn't mean I hate BATDR overall, I can appreciate a lot of things about it, but strictly in the story department, it needs soooooo much work and makes me want to jump off a Minecraft cliff.

[winters8child]

It´s been a long, long time

Chapter 116

"Here you go, some old pajamas of mine. They should fit you," I said, handing him the bundle. He took them without much thought, his gaze sweeping over the guest room, eyes widening as he took in the space. The quiet room, with its soft lighting, the mounted TV on the wall, and the big bed in the center, seemed to surprise him. It was warm, and inviting—things he probably hadn’t known for a while.

I finished tucking in the fresh covers and lit a vanilla candle, hoping the soft scent would make him feel at ease. "Thanks," he mumbled, disappearing into the attached bathroom with the pajamas.

I took the moment to pull my phone from my pocket, scrolling absently, trying to figure out what to tell Bucky. Breaking news like this over the phone felt wrong, but not telling him anything at all felt just as unsettling.

I looked up when I heard the shower turn on, so I stepped outside to make the call I'd been dreading. Taking a deep breath, I held the phone to my ear, waiting for Bucky to pick up.

"Hey, doll, what's up?" he answered casually, though there was a thread of worry in his voice.

"Hey, Buck. I just wanted to let you know that I'm staying at the house tonight," I explained, trying to keep my tone light. "It’s getting late, and I’d rather not drive all the way back to Brooklyn." Even as I said it, I knew it sounded like a flimsy excuse.

He paused, and I could almost feel his concern through the phone. "Oh... everything okay? Want me to come over?" His voice was cautious like he was ready to be there at a moment’s notice. And that’s when it hit me—he was worried I’d be alone, afraid I might hurt myself again. I didn’t want him carrying that weight, so I just blurted it out.

“I found my son, Buck,” I said, the words tumbling out in a rush. “Or… he found me. He was at the cemetery, and now he’s here, at the house.” I swallowed, trying to catch my breath. “He survived, Buck. He escaped from the lab and somehow made it out—he’s been living on the streets all this time… and now, we just ate pizza together.”

There was silence on the other end as he took it in, and I could picture him trying to process everything I’d just said.

"Buck?" I prompted gently, my heart pounding in the quiet that followed.

There was a sharp intake of breath. "Your son… he’s alive?" His voice was barely above a whisper, as though he feared the truth might slip away if he spoke too loudly. I could hear disbelief, relief, and worry woven together in those few words.

“Yes,” I replied, my voice steady but soft. “And I know you must have a million questions. I’ll tell you everything, Buck, but… not over the phone. I just thought you deserved an explanation.”

He was quiet for a beat before he responded. “All right,” he said finally, though I could sense a hint of hesitation. “But if you need anything—if he needs anything—you call me, okay?”

“I will… thank you, Bucky,” I whispered, feeling the gratitude settle deep in my chest. I ended the call with a quiet click, letting the weight of the conversation linger in the stillness.

I leaned back against the wall, releasing a sigh of relief just as the door cracked open slightly. My son’s head peeked out, his expression tentative. “Uh… where should I put my dirty clothes?” he stammered, clearly uncomfortable. “There wasn’t a basket,” he added shyly.

“Oh, just hand them over,” I replied, smiling as I reached out. “I’ll take care of them and toss them in the wash.”

He handed over the clothes with a quiet “Thanks,” and I turned around and walked into the laundry room. As I started the cycle, I noticed he had followed me, lingering in the doorway, arms crossed tightly as though he didn’t know what to do with himself.

When I faced him, he looked down, seeming smaller than before. “You’re safe here,” I said gently, stepping closer, the urge to reach out and embrace him almost overwhelming.

He swallowed and looked up, eyes meeting mine, though he stayed rooted to the spot. “I don’t even have a name,” he whispered, a tinge of shame in his voice. “Never needed one.” His eyes were hard, defensive—but his posture told a different story, one of uncertainty and vulnerability.

I started to respond, but he spoke first, his voice quieter. “What would you have called me?” He crossed his arms, looking both curious and defensive.

The truth hit hard. I hadn’t had the luxury of imagining names, of planning a future together. He was taken before I’d ever had that chance. “I didn’t get to name you,” I admitted softly. His expression faltered, a flicker of disappointment crossing his face.

After a moment, he glanced up, hesitantly. “Can…can you call me Steven? Like my father.” His voice carried an unsteady pride, and my heart tightened as tears threatened. I nodded, pressing my lips together to hold back the flood of emotions. His face softened into the faintest of smiles, there and gone so quickly, but it lifted something heavy inside me.

He shifted, glancing away. “I…think I’ll go to bed,” he murmured, though he lingered, almost as if he was waiting for permission.

“Good night…Steven,” I whispered, my fists clenched against the overwhelming urge to pull him into a hug. Just the sound of his chosen name was enough to make his small smile return. It was enough—for now.

“Good night,” he whispered, and then, with a final look back, he turned and disappeared into his room.

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, my thoughts circling back to the same unbelievable truth—my son was right down the hall, finally here after all these years. Every time I closed my eyes, a fear tugged at me, whispering that I’d wake up and find him gone, that it was all a dream. After what felt like an eternity of tossing and turning, I gave in and quietly slipped out of bed, needing to do something—anything—to quiet my racing mind.

I began to clean, dusting every surface, and sweeping and mopping every inch of the floors. The steady rhythm was soothing, the focus a temporary relief from my nerves. As I moved through the house, I found myself in the basement, sorting through old boxes until I pulled out the Christmas decorations. Somehow, it felt right. I wanted this place to feel warm, safe, a home for him—something worth staying for.

Decorating the house in quiet solitude, I realized this wasn’t just about welcoming him but about showing him he had a place here. That he wasn’t alone anymore.

After finishing the last touch—a string of lights draped over the mantel—I finally let myself collapse into bed. For once, I didn’t lie awake overthinking, and sleep claimed me almost instantly.

It was only as I drifted off that a quiet realization brushed against the edges of my mind—I was lying in the bed Steve and I had once shared, a place filled with memories of a life that felt like it belonged to another time. But tonight, it didn’t bring the usual ache. Tonight, with my son across the hall, it almost felt like a new beginning.

The first rays of sunshine woke me, stirring a feeling in my chest that I hadn’t experienced in a long time—a flicker of hope mixed with anticipation for the day ahead. I tossed the blanket aside, slipped into my morning coat, and dialed a nearby breakfast place. I would have preferred to cook, but the kitchen was bare of ingredients.

Twenty minutes later, the delivery driver arrived with an array of breakfast foods: pancakes, waffles, omelets, sausages, and freshly squeezed orange juice. I was plating everything on the kitchen table when I heard footsteps descending the stairs.

He appeared, rubbing his eyes and taking in the delicious scents wafting through the air. “Good morning,” I said with a smile as I poured some juice into his glass.

“Good morning,” he mumbled, sitting down and eyeing the pancakes. I quickly grabbed a stack and placed it on the plate in front of him.

“Did you sleep okay?” I asked as I settled into my seat and took a sip of my coffee. He swallowed a massive bite and nodded. “Beats the cardboard box I usually sleep on,” he replied, and my heart ached at his words.

I bit my lip, trying to keep the sadness at bay. “Well,” I said softly, “no more cardboard boxes.” I reached over to slide a small bottle of syrup closer to him. “Here—drizzle as much as you want.”

He took the bottle, pouring a generous amount over his pancakes before taking another big bite. I watched as he closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the taste. Seeing him enjoy his meal in the warm morning sunlight made my heart swell.

He caught me staring and squinted at me as if contemplating what to say next. “Who was the man you called yesterday... when I was in the shower?” His tone was neutral, but there was an edge of curiosity.

I hadn’t anticipated that question, and it caught me off guard. “That was Bucky. He was your father’s best friend, and he’s my best friend too,” I explained. A familiar feeling of shame crept in—shame for being in a relationship with my best friend so soon after his father’s death. It had only been over two years, after all.

“Bucky Barnes?” he asked, his eyes widening before he seemed to shrink in on himself as if he felt he wasn’t allowed to get excited. Yet, there was a spark of admiration in his voice.

“Yes, Bucky Barnes. Have you heard of him?” I asked with a smile.

He shrugged, trying to contain his excitement. “Yeah, I snuck into that exhibit once.”

I nodded, saddened that he had sneaked into places others just walked into without worries. Then he hesitated before speaking again. “Uhm, can I meet him?” His voice was quiet as he watched my reaction.

I smiled warmly. “Of course you can. He would love to meet you.”

I found myself staring again, completely unaware until he caught my gaze. “Can I have more orange juice?” he asked shyly, nodding toward the bottle on the table.

“Of course, you don’t have to ask,” I replied, filling his glass. “This is your home, Steven. You’re home now,” I added, struggling to keep my emotions in check.

He nodded, his eyes dropping to his plate as he mumbled, “Thank you.”

Next Chapter

[areislol]

two worlds apart

ft— anyone

warning — mentions of character death, angst, pretty much self indulgent lmao

a/n— i just felt angsty today :) also i wrote this like you aren't in teyvat? you're you (obv) in this universe and they're just your comfort character. ik shifting is a thing so this is for my #icannotshiftforthelifeofme girlies. listened to ykwim when writing this as well.

wordcount. 683

sometimes you wish you were dead. it sounds blunt and quite, dramatic, yes. but not really when you remember that reincarnation may or may not be a real thing.

we have all heard of the word "soulmates". the idea of soulmates has been present in various traditions for centuries. the "concept" suggests that there is a special connection between two individuals that goes beyond physical attraction and emotional compatibility.

it is believed that these two people are connected by an invisible thread or string that can never be broken, no matter the distance or time. this thread binds them together, and their souls recognize each other even before they meet.

it is said that when soulmates find each other, they experience a sense of completion and fulfillment that they cannot find elsewhere. love itself is a powerful force that can bring people together, even when they are from different worlds. when two individuals are soulmates, their love transcends time and space.

now, death is a natural part of life, and it is something that everyone will experience at some point. while death is often associated with sadness and loss, while some people believe that it can also be a time of reunion with loved ones or, finally being with someone they have loved for so long in another world.

for those who believe in reincarnation, death is not the end, but rather a new beginning. it is an opportunity for the soul to move on to a new life and continue its journey. for some, the idea of being reunited with their soulmate after death brings comfort and solace.

they believe that when they die, they will be able to join their lover/comfort character from another world and be much happier than they ever were in this world. this gives them hope and a reason to keep going, even when times are tough.

for some, some may think it is absurd to even think about death in this way. you really want to die/are waiting for your death just because you want to be happier with your comfort character? how.. weird.

the heart is a mysterious thing, and sometimes it leads us down paths that we never thought possible. loving someone from another world can be a lonely road to travel, but it can also be one filled with wonder and amazement. our hearts may ache for this person that we cannot touch or hold, but the love we feel for them can give us a sense of purpose.

the pain of loving someone who is not real can be overwhelming, it really can. the thought of never being able to hold them or feel their warmth can be unbearable.

but in times of sorrow, the comfort and solace you find in loving them can be the only thing that gets you through. it's easy to dismiss this kind of love as make-believe, but it's not.

the heart doesn't discriminate and doesn't see boundaries at all. even though they are not real, the love you feel for them is. it's a feeling that is deep and real and can bring joy to your life.

just how long have you been yearning to feel their touch, to know what their kisses feel like, to see them face to face? a long, long time. and you know that. how many times have you cried into your pillow, just because you love them so much and that they aren't real?

sometimes the pain in your heart can become unbearable. The emptiness and the loneliness can consume you entirely, leaving you with nothing but despair. it's in those moments that you start to wonder if death would be a better alternative.

you imagine that if you passed away, you could be reunited with your lover from another world, a place where love is eternal and pure. you know that in that world, you would find comfort and solace, and your heart would finally be at peace.

because even though you two are two worlds apart, the love you hold for each other goes beyond measure.

WHAT IS UP W ME AND ANGST NOWADAYS?!??!

[silent-sanctum]

The Part 3 Dilemma

I have one of this random thoughts of mine and it's about one of the complaints about Stardust Crusaders

"I dropped at Part 3 because the plot dragged too long" "The Monster-of-the week trope made it boring"

Personally, I don't mind it (thanks to Jotaro's presence tbh). But I do understand why others feel that way. I feel like the reason Araki decided to stick with that set-up is because for one, it's a shonen series (a.k.a a manga who's targeted for young boys), and two that it's because it's his way of experimenting with a new power system.

So, you can't really blame a guy who wanted to test things out in the beginning rather than to focus on writing a more engaging story, more so when him knowing that the introduction of Stands and their powers was able to bring him the most commercial success.

But from a writer's perspective and someone who watches a lot of shows, I think what made SC such a sludge to get through is this part's lack of subplots.

What do I mean by that? Let me explain:

"A subplot is a narrative thread that is woven through the media to support the elements of the main plot. A subplot can build out the conflict in the main plot or it can be a vehicle for a secondary character's storyline."

Essentially, it's a method of fleshing out the story more by introducing the audience a side story to either tackle a theme that's related to the main plot or develop a character more to better understand their purpose in the story.

Now let's look at Part 3

The central point of this part is that a big bad has returned to wreak havoc on the Joestars and the world and it's the heroes' job is to get rid of him once and for all. It's odyssey-based where we get to see the guys go on this journey and fight the bad guys until they reach the final stage.

But because this part involves just that- the fighting bad guys part- for 40+ episodes, it bores the audience because of how repetitive it's becoming. There's nothing else it has going on for it to keep the audience engaged.

There's a significant lack of subplots to enhance their journey to Egypt.

Compare that to the other parts…

Part 4: A slice-of-life/murder mystery plot that focuses on the stories of its residents (e.g. Koichi's development, Okuyasu's family issues, Yukako's obssesion, Rohan's antics as a mangaka, Josuke's bond with Joseph), before tying them into the main plot in the second half (e.g. Reimi's murder, the involvement of the Stand arrow, focus on Kira's mind as a psychopathic serial killer) Part 5: Got to look into the past of each of Bucciarati's crew: Giorno and Bucciarati's childhood, Mista's pre-Stand user life, Abbachio's past as a cop, Diavolo and Trish's dynamic, Fugo's history with his anger issues. There's also the involvement of the Stand arrow, brief focus on La Squadra's perspective, etc. Part 6: Explores the characters of Ermes (seeking justice for the death of her sister), FF (their path of finding their identity), delving deep into DIO's psyche about "attaining heaven", Weather Report's history with Pucci and Perla, and the estranged bond between Jolyne and Jotaro.

This is Araki improving his craft but when we compare that to Part 3, we can see that P3 only got the "fighting enemies until we reach the boss" plot going on. And that's tedious to get past.

Sure we got one subplot going: Polnareff's quest of avenging the death of his sister.

His purpose of joining the Crusaders in the first place was to find the killer. It's been tackled for more than one episode and in the process, we see him form rapport with the allies he made while still sticking to his mission, allowing the audience to connect to the Frenchman more (even to the point where they start to joke that he's the main protagonist instead of Jotaro)

But what of the rest? What of the development of the other Crusaders?

Kakyoin and his past as a lonely child born with a Stand?

How Avdol met Joseph, and what his motivation was to continue working with the latter?

Maybe a subtle foreshadowing of Joseph's infidelity or how he's doing in New York prior to the quest?

Heck maybe even a background as to why Jotaro turned to delinquency when in the past, he's seen or viewed as a regular happy child who does well and is active in school?

Instead, what we got is Kak's past revealed as a last minute attempt to make us feel sympathy for him as he's dying, Avdol died without much going about him, Joseph is just there to be the secondary Jojo, and 3taro is most of the fandom's worst version of Jotaro because at a surface level, he's seen only as a rude standoffish teenager who does not emote for no reason.

We don't get to connect with the Crusaders as much or as deep because we don't know them outside of "we're here to defeat the big evil" and a bunch of fighting.

tldr: Not enough character development because there's too much of the "beat the bad guys and win"

I don't know. It's just my personal take because usually when I consume media, I tend to get hooked onto the story when there's mini stories that fleshes out the overarching theme.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[red-man-of-mustache]

Meet the Mun

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

Mario has been a fixture in my life since my fifth birthday. Mario 64 was my first Mario game actually! There's just something about his happy-go-lucky attitude and ability to persevere that I find inspiring. Comforting even. Originally, I wasn't even eyeing tumblr but my girlfriend at the time all the way back in the prehistoric age of 2014 suggested I make a blog. I decided to pick up Mario on a whim and have stuck with him(on & off mind you) since!

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

Smut. Sometimes I find it to be cumbersome. I don't lead with this objection because sometimes it's over quickly but other times I'm just not into it. And angst! Angst exhausts me.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

Action! I love seeing how characters react in tense situation(despite what I just said about angst). I also like a bit of fluff because c'mon, I'm sure we could all use some relief from the outside world. It's kinda scary.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

I try to start off slow. What I mean is I look at what we got in canon, side content(comics,shows, etc) and reasonably merge the concepts where they can mesh. Then I draw conclusions from that! Other times when I'm doing research on certain aspects on Mario's character such as plumbing, being a physician, his italian heritage, etc I pick parts from it and mentally labor over how they apply to him. Really, it's like a little Mario calculator is in my head and I see how the info I'm gathering reacts with what I already know.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

Anytime I try writing with music doesn't end well. I always focus more on what I'm writing rather than the song. Podcasts work best.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

I'm almost always winging it out. I open up the reply/draft and just let things flow.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

I'd ship Mario with a tree if it could talk back.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

Papa Pasta

ᴀɢᴇ?

Just turned 28!

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

February 7th

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

Lavender, red, and orange

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

I got deep into Tame Impala a while ago. Favorite song by far from him: Cause I'm a man. Right after that is "New Person/Same Old Mistakes". Another favorite of mine is Close In The Distance from Final Fantasy XIV

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Final Destination. Wanted to see if it was as good as it was when I was a kid. Not disappointed.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Centaur World! Very cute show

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

On Melancholy Hill by Gorillaz

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

Spaghetti & Meatballs!!!

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

Fall. I like watching the trees shed their leaves

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

Hmmmm, definitely have to say @thehouseofivo. Him & Julian have been with me since the very beginning. I'm having a little trouble remembering exactly how things started off between us but it's been so long! We've kept in contact outside of tumblr and things fell apart a few years ago when I was deep in my pit but we picked up right where we left off pretty much recently! He's a real nice guy and I'd do anything in my power to help him along! Give him a follow if you haven't already, you won't be disappointed! One thing I don't see too often on here is a coherent continuity. (If you know any other blogs that do this then pls pls pls tell me) Most threads he does will go into the development of Julian somehow.

tagged by NOBODY stolen from @lultimagoccia uhhhhhh I'mma tag @thehouseofivo @adara-of-the-flame @timid-plumber @atimelesslullaby @musescfmusic & anyone else who wants to steal it!

[qqueenofhades]

Hi! If you’re willing, I’m looking for your insight as an academic and generally very thoughtful person. I’ve been working for the last year and a half to get into my dream program, and I got in. Biggest accomplishment of my life, and something I was very convinced that I wouldn’t be able to do until the day I got my acceptance letter (and then some). I’m two weeks from the term start, I’ve moved overseas, moved into an apartment, am about to open a bank account and register with a GP and everything. But I’m not excited, and things don’t feel right. I can recognize my big mistake going into this is that I only had a vague idea of what I wanted to get out of the program, and even then I wasn’t sure whether I really wanted that, or if I’ve just been madly, madly curious. I wanted to learn and meet people in the field and finally get out of the rhythm of my small, devalued, hometown uni. But afterward? Not a clue. And now I’m second guessing the idealistic thoughts I once had, that this education and this experience will be worth my savings in the end, even if a career doesn’t ever really come out of it. Now I ask myself, after all the work and money (and tears) I’ve already put into it, “Is it worth it?”

I’m meeting with the career advisor at my alma mater (career services there is a one-woman office) this evening, hoping she might help me reach some clarity. I haven’t been able to reach any advisors at my new uni yet, being as it is so big with so many students to correspond with (there are as many students here as there are people in my hometown, which I’m still failing to wrap my arms around).

My thoughts are pretty tangled, and I apologize for the rambling nature of this ask, but I hope there’s a thread here that you can follow. I spent all my life dreaming of leaving my little midwestern life only to find myself in the uni of my dreams wondering whether any of this is going to be worth it (and feeling rather homesick for my little midwestern life). These days just don’t feel like a good time to ship yourself off to school for the sole sake of learning, unless you know what you want out of it all in the long run. But that’s enough from me…

Welp. First of all, take a deep breath. It's totally understandable that you're in a bit of a scramble right now, everything feels weird and unsettled, and some amount of "oh god what have I done??" is entirely normal. When I first went abroad to the UK for my junior year in college, as a naive little 20-year-old also from a fairly small suburban town, I absolutely had the "oh fuck I'm terrified what have I done" feeling on the first night (I remember it very well). Then the next day hit, and I was like "oh yeah this is great I'm good to go" and didn't look back. I'm not saying it will be that complete or that soon for you, but the whole moving-overseas business is HARD (I did it again for my PhD, moving to a city I had never been before to start a doctorate program, even if I had already been in the UK) and it really screws your head up. So while I understand the panic and the need to wonder what the hell you're doing, please know that some entry shock and homesickness is normal and can be dealt with, and doesn't mean that you have in fact totally fucked yourself over.

Next, I think it's very important to also remember that your options are more than just "leave right now and go home" or "go through it to the end no matter what." I do think it's important to attend at least a full semester of the program, to see if the culture shock wears off and you discover your groove -- after all, you HAVE worked so hard to get here, and until you experience that for real and not just in the abstract, you don't know if it is in fact right for you. In my experience, people also develop clarity as they go; i.e. it's all right if you don't have the full picture just yet, or can't precisely articulate what it is that you expect to do here. That is something that will only come with experience, and if at the end of your first year, things still don't feel right or aren't clicking, you can reassess your options then, before you're so committed that you can't pull out. But yeah, I do think it's important to get over the first "aaaaaaaaah" reaction, find your feet, try some things out, and see how it feels. If it's still not your thing after that, then hey -- at least you know for sure.

[starlitangels]

Hi! Could you possibly be able to do a fluff fic of paradise and yargwin of when they found out paradise is pregnant? (Just saying I'm pretty new on tumbler)

Thank you

Welcome to Tumblr! Be safe!

Sure, let's give this a shot

—

"Paradise? Paradise—I'm home!" Yargwynn called. I flinched at how loud the shout was when I was way too close to the door for him to need to be that loud.

"Hi," I greeted.

Yargwynn jumped a bit. "Oh. Sorry. Didn't realize you were right there," he said. I chuckled. He crossed over and wrapped his hands around my hips. I let him pull me close and press kisses all over my face before he finally made his way to my lips. I kissed him back. When he pulled back, his eyebrows were knitted together. "Are you alright, paradise?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm fine. Why?"

"You're shaking. Just a little."

I looked away, taking a step back and breaking his grip on my hips. "Darling, there's something we should probably talk about," I said.

Yargwynn blinked. Fear tilted his eyebrows and wrinkled his forehead. "What is it?"

"You should probably sit down," I said.

Yargwynn sank into one of our kitchen chairs, resting an arm on the table. "What's going on?"

I took a deep breath. "You know how I haven't been feeling too well recently and we kept thinking it was that shellfish we tried cooking?"

"Yeah."

"You know how even weeks after the shellfish got thrown out, I still have lingering symptoms?"

"Yeah..."

"I figured it out this morning."

"Okay. What's wrong?"

I licked my lips, realizing how dry my mouth had suddenly gotten. "Yargwynn, darling, I, uh... I..." I swallowed the lump trying to form in my throat. Just tell him, I thought to myself harshly. "I'm pregnant."

His jaw dropped.

Slowly, carefully, I lifted up my shirt to show that it had taken me long enough to realize what was going on that I was already starting to show—just a tiny little bit. Something in the alien part of my hybrid genetics had always left me fairly thin. A metabolism that burned inhumanly fast. Coupling that with loose shirts and rarely looking in mirrors, I hadn't even noticed the bump forming for a long time.

Yargwynn stood up so fast the table screeched over the floor and he knocked his chair over. "Holy Untempora," he whispered. He held one hand out toward my belly. "May I?"

I nodded.

Gently, he put his callused hand on my belly. A quiet gasp escaped his mouth, and when he met my eyes, there were tears in his. "We're going to have a baby?"

"We're going to have a baby," I replied breathlessly.

"Oh, paradise!" he whispered. His other hand cradled my face and brought it close to his so he could kiss me. I kissed him back enthusiastically, threading my fingers into his hair and holding him close. "We're going to have a baby! I—I can't—I can hardly believe it."

I brushed a tear off his face with my thumb. "Why are you crying, Yargwynn?"

"They're happy tears, I promise," he said. "A... a family. With you. It's just... everything I want."

"Everything I want too. A simple life with you and a family." I kissed him again.

He kissed me back before bending down to kiss my belly. "Can't wait to meet you, Baby Paradise."

"Or Baby Yargwynn," I pointed out.

"Oh God, I hope not. I'd rather have a kid who's more like you than me. I think a kid like me would give me a heart attack."

I laughed. "Guess we'll see, darling."

[delightful-to-be-read]

Think Again - Jacqueline Wilson

Spoilers below the cut.

Crikey, 40.

I’m younger, life-stage-wise than Ellie in this. I always was, but I’m 15 years younger than thinking about any kids I’m close to going off to Uni, rather than being 18 months younger than making choices about boys at parties.

The book starts on Ellie’s 40th birthday. Her daughter has just gone to Uni and a job has ended so she’s in a very next-steps bit of her life. She’s still friends with Nadine and Magda, who have lost some of their very defined identities - that seems to me very realistic. She decides to embark on a new project and has really luckily made a new friend who has valuable contributions to make. It’s a book of reconnecting and new connections. Following threads to the end, starting new ones, abandoning fraying ones.

The tone wavers somewhere between bleakness and contentment, but the bleakness maybe comes from someone striving to not settle for contentment.

The Gary relationship was a strange beast. Morally, it’s something I hadn’t considered before and K and I had a long discussion about it. He wasn’t just a teacher she saw in the hallway, he was a teacher she had a student-teacher relationship with.

I know in the original books he’s seen through the eyes of a 14 year old. I know that someone professionally promoting independence and the female voice wouldn’t necessarily be practising what they preach, but the two characters didn’t connect for me. He seemed to me to exist as a composite of experiences women have had with Good Men, the Nice Boys who spit vitriol at women about how disgusting women are for not liking Nice Boys. Learning everything you can about women from romantic comedies and never trying to actually connect with another woman as a human, having the audacity to feel emasculated when she turns out to be interesting, rather than being interested. Mansplaining what women want. By the end, I wished I could physically push him away like Ellie.

I can’t believe how common the experience of men not liking women knowing things they don’t know is. As a teenager, I thought I was really pathetic for putting up with it.

But I also couldn’t bear how she lets her voice disappear. I understand that there are complex reasons why, but she is responsible for herself and acknowledges that she’s somehow got into a pattern of extraordinary meekness. As a secondary art teacher, she’s more equipped than most to take a deep breath and demand respect.

I don’t know. It’s difficult.

The Alice relationship - I really liked Alice. I wish the book had been about Ellie blossoming into a relationship with her. But it was about Ellie in a relationship with an obnoxious man. Although Alice did always echo through the book, staying sweetly in the sidelines. The elephant connection was gorgeous.

No queer person is free from compulsory homosexuality. JW’s characters are often staring at girls with their eyes on stalks and tongues on the floor, and they’re still blindly wondering which boys like them. It would hardly be surprising that someone in the bisexual ring would take a long time to clock themselves.

Oh my God, the relief, Ellie’s relief, of realising you can just be with a woman.

[roxo4me]

Ugh.. This new twitter migration is giving me a headache. I have been deep diving into website alternatives. Here's the things I have found. Tried to take them in the order I would use, although that's is wholly my opinion

Tumblr

I'm gonna keep being on tumblr. Wether or not I go to other sites. While tumblr shows sign of being "algorithmd" it's all optional. So as long as it stays that way I have no reason to leave

Pillowfort

I have actually not found anything bad on this one. It also seems to be owned by a company which is great. It even started on Tumblr! Either way, it's small for now and because of how non-algorithmd it seems to be they don't seem to be very business first. Which is good for usage! Bad for growth.

I'll probably join this one, I'll come back to this thread if I find something bad I guess

Vtubers.me

This seems like an okay alternative, has been running for a while too. Sadly it is 100% owned by 1 person. Which will always have the same issues of sudden implosion, stupid standards or simple malpractice.

This person has been under fire due to a drama fight with a trans person. For the most part it seems resolved, but it has shown a couple of red flags. Example that they seem to have very weird views on trans, while not outright malicious they seem very uninformed and for example against transkids.. They are also EXTREMELY personally involved in their product. As to say they could totally ban you for disagreeing with you.

I would however rather bet on 1 random person than 1 random rich person trying to cash grab. Sadly the website itself is more targeted to Vtubers than Vtuber audiences so it has a very niche reach

Co-Host

These weirdos will tell you nothing. They run fully on charity and for some reason people accept "not telling you how we control and decide things worth" as a positive?!?! Anyway, they are very selective with accounts and very secretive about all innerworkings of the site. I would not trust, but nothing EXCEPTIONALLY bad has come forth yet. I.e. Nothing bad but nothing good either.

Mastodon

While a great server hosting program it is no different than being on private forums. Any owner has FULL control of all content therein. This includes if someone wants to do something less than legal on their server as Mastodon themselves takes NO responsibility for their content.

Have not found any group owned servers yet although this for sure isn't the worst alternative

Spoutible

Yeah.. This is just Twitter but Black. As in the owner is still a too rich, soulless, micromanaging, manipulating, criticism flaming pile of poop, but black this time...

Oh, and has had known crypto dealings

Hive

Stay away from this thing. It's closer to malware than a social media site.

Here's some sources

- Pillowfort

https://fanlore.org/wiki/Pillowfort

- Vtubers.me

https://twitter.com/nekolivt/status/1642753744679890944

- Co-host

https://alternativeto.net/software/cohost/about/

https://uk.pcmag.com/social-media/143905/cohost

- Spoutible

https://medium.com/@kayveebee/spoutible-the-safe-space-thats-anything-but-792299e92ae0

https://social.linux.pizza/@thomasafine/109905298796431794

[streetslost]

@boriys ( don't mind making a new thread for our thread, i didn't use beta apparently on my first post and so trim reblogs was not functioning so jUST STARTING A NEW ONE TO AVOID THE ANNOYANCE- ) cont.

               IF ONLY SCREAMING INTO THE OBLIVION was a viable way of solving problems.  of doing more than just providing a release from the energy and anger; a TEMPORARY one.  a bottle screwed tightly shut yet somehow still always filling back up, thriving and pushing and growing all the more intense with every day that passed.  it was a slow buildup, perhaps, but still an ever forming danger.  to herself, to others... the b u r s t whenever it happened was sudden and intense.  was sharp and powerful.  cat feared her own edges, not that such an addmittance would ever leave her.  she couldn't afford to nestle in concerns ( literally and figuratively ).  survival was maintained, and the forced smile, the forced bravery against every little thing would forever get yanked into place.  until she shattered and split and broke and took anyone nearby down with her.          over and over and over and over... a cycle, a repetition, a drumbeat keeping the rhythm of a song.  inescapable.  at least for now, though the street rat hadn't done much to try and alleviate herself from the routine.  just suffer and wane.  just d e c a y.  ( she deserved it, she did, no one wanted her, no one needed her, she was just a waste of space, taking up air, taking up room, wasting food, was-  wait what? )                      attention snapped back to him, and frustration etched her features at the comment provided.  her height was a sensitive subject.  it was a sign of her poor health, of her life falling into ruins.  he couldn't have known that from a glance, but cat still grated her teeth together, the huff audible through gritted teeth.  words remained trapped behind the whites, where lips carved once more into her HALF crazed grin, instead managing to distract herself with the yell he would unleash himself.  it was similar but different.  his looks mirrored as such, as well.  clearly on the road, but not for as long.  there was still something fresh about the vibe he held.  or perhaps it was simply the fact he didn't seem trodden as she.

       "thinking tha' doesn't mean much," dry tone slipped out.  features finally eased, and apathy resumed its play.  the comment of her stature hadn't been forgotten, but brunette decided to let it slip... briefly.  it wasn't like he was stating anything WRONG, just a fact that she despised.  tongue swiped her lips, the cracks of dry flesh stinging with the sensation.  "people will hear someone in distress and do nothing unless it benefits them.  but guess i'd still rather do it out here where there's less likely t'be any sort of attention.  why you out here?"                  perhaps she knew the answer... perhaps not.  regardless, cat filled the void with her inquiry, hands still shoved deep in her pockets and tennis shoes scuffing the ground in effort to kick a rock down along the track.

[novantinuum]

top 5 side characters (from anything at all)

Oooooh side characters... that's a good question... I think I'll pick my fav side character from my most recent fandoms, one from each.

5) (Doctor Who) Missy- This incarnation of the Master is always very fun to watch, because her actress Michelle Gomez absolutely spends every second chewing the scenery clear off the walls. I also always enjoyed how they gave her a clear character arc in the seasons she appeared in- plus, it was lovely to see an incarnation of the Master who wasn't clear-cut "evil" as past ones have been, but rather Chaotic Neutral, and just in the game for the benefit of herself.

4) (The Legend of Zelda) Revali. A lot of the gaming community drags on this one, but I think there's a ton of interesting threads one can pull from what little we get of him in BotW canon that lend towards a fascinating picture of an incredibly insecure young warrior who's lashing out against someone (Link) who he sees as gaining everything he ever wanted but never working a second for it, as opposed to his hard, years-long struggle in perfecting his special flying ability. It's sad, in the end- because had he realized that Link was burdened by his own destiny and worked just as hard as he had to himself feel "deserving" of it, I bet they might've been able to find something to connect over, and became friends.

3) (The Adventure Zone) Barry Bluejeans- Goddammnit, FUCK YOU BARRY BLUEJEANS for having such a stupid ass name and making me CRY over you in just one 5 minute prologue! I really, really love this NPC... there's such a deep tragedy to his story- losing his wife and his whole found family and not even being able to remember that they're gone while in human form- and yet, every time he dies and goes back into lich form and remembers it all, still he manages to pick himself up and try again. Work harder. Work smarter. Set himself up for success each time he clones himself and returns to his human form to make his plan work. He fights tirelessly for YEARS without an ounce of thanks just because he loves his family and the world they've entered so much that he wants to make sure they'll all be safe, in the end. What a man.

2) (Gravity Falls) Fiddleford McGucket- For such an otherwise funny but unremarkable joke character back in season 1, it was amazing how the writers were ultimately able to transform him into such a tragic figure, and utilize him to give context to why the whole town literally pays no heed to any of the weirdness going on all around them. He's the sort of character who gives the show amazing re-watch energy- at this point, when I go back through the show, every single appearance he has just makes me feel incredibly sad- AND a lot of his otherwise "random" or "quirky" characteristics start to make a lot more sense. He's a man who lives in the dump, but is capable of building incredibly complex machines?" He's a literal genius mechanic who's simply gone through severe memory slippage. Said memory slippage? Self-inflicted by a memory erasing device he invented himself. Said memory erasing device? Has been used in the years since to purge the town of their memories of the supernatural. His backstory blasts open a whole new door of lore possibilities in this show. Love him.

1) (Steven Universe) Connie Connie Connie Connie Connie- Connie, my LOVE- I feel like by the end of the show she's grown into more of a main character than just a side, but that shows perhaps just HOW much wonderful development she gets throughout her journey. She grew from a timid young girl unsure of herself and her place in the world around her, to a fierce teen who has purpose, ambitions, and has a whole constellation of connections and confidants ready to cheer her on. I'm really proud of her <3

Every single time she showed up on screen for a new episode I got like, indescribably happy and went "damn this is going to be a good one," and basically every single SU reactor I've seen has had the same experience, so I think that alone shows how beloved Connie is, and how well written a character she is too. It's always great to have such a grounded presence amidst characters living in a world of fantasy.

[foxymoxynoona]

Hi Foxy!

Do you feel it’s harder to work on fresh stories rather than ones that you’re already pretty deep in the universe/storyline? For me I tend to lose steam the deeper I get, but I’ve noticed that you seem to pick up speed when the plot thickens! How do you overcome that fade of initial excitement and find the motivation to continue while working on your longer fics?

I've been thinking about this a lot and have a couple answers. This might get kinda long...

I tend to think the difficulty comes in waves for me! Often I find the very beginning, the 1/3 point and the 2/3 point (right before we build to the climax of the story) to be difficult for me personally, and I've realized it's because these are periods of set up or transition in a story. Emotional stock taking. World building, character building. The period before or after the exciting stuff.

I've learned two ways to assess what I do when I hit that lull:

If the part that feels boring/dull/difficult to write for me is about a chapter in length, I perservere. Transition is hard. It almost never fails that the chapters I struggle with the most and hate will get higher positive response from readers haha. To me this means that it feels like grunt work as the writer but to the reader it's very important work.

If the story feelings boring/dull/difficult for more than a chapter to get through, I've lost the thread. A story shouldn't be boring. Writing shouldn't be boring. It's time to shake things up. Toss in a wet cat. Back up and see if I took a wrong turn.

And honestly, sometimes it just means I've reached the end of that particular story for me and it's time to shelf it at least for now. Sometimes I come back to stories years later and sometimes they chewed up and turned into something new later and sometimes they just were a training exercise after all.

A general tactic I have for avoiding the derailment you mention is that I always have something I am really really looking forward to writing that happens later in the story. It could be the end, it could be the climax, it could just be a really fun moment i know lies ahead (two examples: Y/N taking care of JK's injuries after the fight in Sea of Indigo; JK and Alex meeting again at the wedding in Tell Me What Changed.) The funny thing is, I may never actually get to that spot, or it might look very different than I imagined it, or it might not fit at all anymore and get cut (I have so many examples of each scenario.) You don't want to force the scene at that point if your story has grown a different direction but if it got you to that point, it did it's duty.

One other thing I will mention about me personally, I don't know if it's the same for otehrs, but I think age/time/experience have also helped me get better at identifying which stories I can see through to the end. Like my ratio of started stories to finished stories is SO MUCH higher now than it was in my teens or twenties, though definitely nowhere near 1:1; you folks don't see how many abandoned stories never get posted, some with hundreds of pages written. The truth is that we writers have to cut our teeth on a lot of stories before we find the right one to sink our teeth into, and getting to the end requires such a combination of motivation, perseverence, emotion, time, and energy. Honestly I'm stunned every time I finish a story! I feel much better equipped to avoid or fix the lulls when I hit them now than I did ten or twenty years ago, though again, I don't expect it'll ever be an exact science.

I was right, this was long, but I hope it was helpful at all!

[skylarstark4826]

~o~

Poe Dameron stood at the edge of the flight line, the long line of X-Wings, Y-Wings and an assortment of transports and other ships glinting in the pale moonlight.

He couldn't say what had drawn him to that exact spot, but he'd stood there, arms crossed, for some time, just staring out at the stars, his mind curiously blank for all that remained to do after the battle with the Emperor's fleet.

It had been just days since the final, decisive battle for the future of the galaxy. Somehow, it felt a lot longer than that. Of course, it seemed like they'd been at this for a lot longer than it had actually been, so time was certainly relative. Still, he could hardly believe that the thing he'd dedicated his entire adult life to—well, so far, anyway—was over. And despite the fact that there was plenty to do to help the Republic reunite and recover from the darkest days of the First Order, he felt a little at loose ends.

"Here you are."

Poe glanced over his shoulder to find Kaydel Connix standing a little way away, hands parked on her hips, head tilted just so. He smiled briefly; Kay had always had the ability to find him, no matter where he was. He'd suspect she was using the Force if he didn't know she wasn't Force-sensitive. Although, given that Finn had turned out to be sensitive, maybe it wasn't as ridiculous as he'd thought.

"Here I am," Poe muttered as he returned to staring out at the stars. 

He felt rather than saw her step up beside him and run her hand down his arm. She easily threaded her fingers through his and leaned into him, just staring up at the same starscape he was seeing. When her head dropped onto his shoulder, he huffed a laugh.

"You comfortable?"

"Eh," she said, shrugging one shoulder. "It'll do. Nice view, though. Same one from last night. And the night before. And the night before that."

And just like that, he was busted.

He'd ducked out of the celebration to see Zorii Bliss off in her ship, and then he'd just… never gone back. 

"You're not the only one, you know," she said.

He glanced down at her, one eyebrow raised. "Not the only one what?"

"You're not the only one wondering what comes next," she said. "Some have only been at this for a little while, but they don't know whether they're supposed to just go back to the lives they had before or if they should stay. Help rebuild."

"And the rest of us have been at it so long that we don't know anything else," he said, finishing her thought. "Yeah."

"I think we all expected her to be here to tell us what's next," she said quietly. "I mean, we're supposed to be celebrating, but it feels… wrong somehow, to celebrate when she's gone."

Poe took a deep breath, the pain still as sharp as it had been the moment he'd found out that General Leia had passed. She'd recruited him, back in the day, told him that there was so much more he could be doing to preserve peace and stability in the galaxy. Poe hadn't really needed to be sold; the Republic's hands-off attitude toward the First Order had rubbed him so wrong there weren't really words for it.

But while she'd trained them to face the most imminent threat, they hadn't really trained for what came after. Of course, they'd all expected the New Republic would be there to bring everyone together once the First Order had been defeated. Now, they were facing a galaxy once again in need of rebuilding, and Poe had not a single clue where to start.

Truth was, he wasn't a politician. That was an issue for someone for whom 'shoot first, ask questions later' wasn't a personal mantra.

"She'd want us to celebrate," Poe said, heaving a sigh. "She wouldn't want us to mourn her. She wasn't that kind of person. She was all about the victory, about doing the best she could to bring peace to the galaxy."

"Seems like maybe you missed the party," Kay said.

He looked down to find her smirking at him. He turned and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, resting his chin on her head as she snuggled into him, looping her arms around his middle. Her deep, relieved sigh made him feel guilty for having practically ignored her the last few days.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Better, now," she said, the smile evident in her words.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Sorry I've been ignoring you. I guess I've just had a lot on my mind."

"It's okay," she said. "We all have."

"What do we do now?" he asked quietly.

"We go to bed," she said. "We get some sleep and then we get up tomorrow and do the next thing."

He chuckled. "That's it? 'Do the next thing'? What if we don't know what the next thing is?"

"Stop," she said. She pulled back and looked at him. "Just stop. Stop worrying. Stop thinking. Just stop."

"I don't know if I can do that, Kay," he said, shaking his head. "I'm a pilot. I've never been really good at just doing nothing."

"You know, we've been fighting this war for a long time," Kay said. "Some longer than others. It's okay if the next thing is nothing at all. Maybe what we really all need is a day off. Time to reconnect with each other and remember who we are, deep inside. The people we were before all this."

"And what if who I was before isn't someone you want to know?"

"Not all of us joined the Resistance from the womb, you know," she said. "Besides, you think I don't know who you used to be? There isn't a thing you did that she didn't know about. And what she knew about, I knew about. You're not as mysterious as you think you are."

"And it doesn't bother you?" he asked. "Who I used to be?"

"Who you used to be made you into the man you are today," she said. "And that's the man I love. So no, it doesn't bother me. We're all the sum of our experiences. She knew that better than anyone."

"Yeah, she did," he said. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, a gentle, sweet kiss full of promise. When he pulled back, she was smiling at him, brighter than the sun over Ajan Kloss. "Thanks."

"For what?" she asked.

"For being you," he said, smiling down at her. "For being so easy to love. For loving me. Just, thanks."

"You are welcome," she said, her smile growing even brighter, if that were possible.

"Maybe this won't be so bad after all," Poe said. "Now that the war is over, I can spend more time with you."

"You sure can," she said brightly. "We have lots to do. We need to organize the new fleet and recruit some more troops. Oh, and someone's got to start assembling a new Senate. Leaving a power vacuum isn't a good idea. And then—"

He lay a finger over her lips, cutting off the flow of words. "It can wait. Just for tonight, I want to enjoy the stars with my girl. You game?"

"I like the way you think," she said as she snuggled closer. "And then maybe we can relocate to your quarters."

"Something on your mind?" 

"I'm too tired for that," she said, pinching his side.

He laughed. "Me too. But I would very much like to wake up next to you in the morning."

"I think that can be arranged," she said.

"And maybe the morning after that," he said. "And the morning after that."

Kay leaned back. "Something on your mind?"

"Just thinking about the future," Poe said, smiling. He pecked her on her lips. "Something I haven't been able to do for a very long time."

"Well, whatever the future holds, we'll face it together," she said. 

"Together," he said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I like the sound of that."

"Me too," she said with a smile. "Me too."

~Finis