#it's been so long since i've been able to write it :

[ao3commentoftheday]

I'm over 350k words into writing a very long fic that's about halfway done, and lately, I feel like quitting. I've considered posting the outline as a final chapter to give people closure and then just walking away from it.

But I also really want to be able to actually finish it because the story means a lot to me. Whenever I think about calling it quits, I can't do it.

I feel trapped between not wanting to work on it anymore and wanting to finish this story that I've already poured so much time and love into. I want to finish it as much as I want to quit. But the idea of going on is almost agonizing.

Part of why I've been wanting to quit is because my health went downhill about 8 months into working on it, and it has only got worse since then, and that makes chapters take a long time to finish. I'm very slow to update and it makes me feel bad for the readers who are waiting for more. It's not like that many people are waiting, there isn't too much pressure in that sense. It's a rarepair and the fandom isn't as active as it used to be. But there are some people who are excited to know what happens next, and I feel like I'm letting them down by taking so long. I'd probably let them down even more if I didn't write the rest of it, though.

Another reason I've been wanting to quit is that I've been working on this fic for a few years already and it's going to take a few more years to finish, and that is overwhelming. I'm exhausted from such a long commitment to something creative. I've never spent longer than 6 months on a fic before and didn't think this one was going to take so long.

The final reason is that my writing style has changed in small ways over the course of working on the fic and I feel like older chapters are not as good as the newer chapters and I'm sort of losing confidence in myself. I don't enjoy reading my old fics because all I see are the things I'd change, and I feel like that's starting to happen with this fic.

This is supposed to be fun and I'm not having fun right now.

I don't know what to do.

Do you have any advice?

*hugs* the first thing I want you to do, anon, is take a deep breath. hold it. let it out.

It's going to be okay. ❤️

You've got a lot of different emotions going on right now and a lot of different reasons for feeling them. You need to stop trying to push them away and "get on with things" because that's just like shoving your mess into the closet. Eventually that door isn't going to shut anymore.

You also need to take care of yourself before you worry about your readers. They'll still be there later. New ones might come by in the meantime. If you're putting your readers' presumed wants and needs ahead of your own, you'll eventually start to feel resentful towards them for "forcing" you to do something you don't want to (or just can't) do right now.

First and foremost, I think you need a break. You're exhausted and you're pressuring yourself to do more than you're capable of. The way you describe things, it sounds like you're pretty burnt out and in need of some recovery time. Berating yourself and forcing yourself and pushing yourself so hard is only going to make it all worse.

You know that old Snickers commercial where the person turns into an ogre or something and their friend gives them a chocolate bar? The tag line is something like "You're not you when you're hungry." Well, you're also not you when you're exhausted. Your brain is currently a toddler in need of a nap, and if it doesn't get that nap then it's just going to have a tantrum and ruin your whole day.

Take a moment and think of this story that you're writing. Why do you want to finish it? Is it because the readers are excited for it? Is it because you've put a lot of work into it already? Is it because you've already spent a lot of time on it?

All of those things might be true, but you said the most important part yourself, right up front, "the story means a lot to me. Whenever I think about calling it quits, I can't do it."

It's not about the readers, and it's not about the effort, and it's not about the time. It's about the story. That's the important thing. And if that's the important thing, then you can write it at your own pace. You can enjoy the writing process of it. You can spend your time imagining scenes that might or might not make it into the final version.

Writing fic is a hobby, and like you said it's meant to be fun. Take it off of your list of responsibilities and put it onto your list of daydreams instead. The only person you're accountable to with this story is yourself. The next time you catch yourself thinking, "I have to-" or "I should-" when you're thinking about this story, stop and recognize that thought. Where is it coming from? Why are you having it? Is it actually true or do you just feel like it is?

Then take a deep breath. Hold it. Let it out. This story is for you first. Take your time with it.

[wyldblunt]

Hi, it is 6 AM here and I have to sleep but I'm writing to you to let you know that I'm very concerned about what I've been reading in the past day.

I heard of the gwg/Logan incident on the day of it happening, but that's not really what I'm worried about. What concerns me is what seems like a consistent & long term systematic marginalization of POC in GW2 fan spaces. To be honest I'm not that surprised, I've had my suspicions since 2020.

I'm not active on GW2 tumblr or any social media at all, other than posting the Tyria Pride announcements once a year, so I don't have much impact outside of the Tyria Pride discord, but I still want to do something. I have some ideas, and am also always open to suggestions.

I would love to chat at some point (it doesn't have to be now, and I totally get it if you're not interested). The Tyria Pride discord isn't huge but it isn't small either, and maybe I have some influence that I can use for good.

Lelling

Tyria Pride Lead

P.S.: I know this can be a source of exhaustion so please do not worry about tone policing yourself or rewording your reply for ages to be "just right", if you do reply to me. (I just spent an hour doing that so I get it, it is now 7 AM). I'm on your side. I'll meet you where you're at.

hey — i hope you don't mind that i'm posting this publicly, but i want to because waking up to this message was a huge relief to me. and as i've tried to explain in other conversations about this, i KNOW there are LOTS of people who have been really uncomfortable through this entire convo but have not felt willing or able to speak up publicly (bc of open threats of ostracization for "being mean" AND observed behavior towards those of us who have said anything) and i hope that reading this will be a relief to them too.

thank you not only for reaching out but also for GETTING what our actual concerns are, bc one of my biggest frustrations through all of this has been people repeatedly twisting the issue so they can dismiss it as squabbling about fiction and then they don't actually have to address the broader patterns we're talking about here; thank you for the assurance that i won't be tone policed, because that's been repeatedly used against us as well ("okay i guess you guys are making some good points but you're being so ANGRY"); and thank you for acknowledging how tiring this is, because i've been made to feel like if i don't keep showing up and being vocal about this, leaving behind mostly the white allies who have been sticking up for us and using their privilege to make corrections and take some of the brunt of the ridicule and backlash, the whole thing will be dismissed as a non-issue anyway. and frankly i don't fucking want to anymore! i'm tired lol!

but i also wanted to springboard off this really kind and reassuring message from you to say it isn't the only one i've received, and that as angry and exhausted as i am, i want to highlight and acknowledge that i have NOT been alone in this. people have been checking in on me, listening to what i and others have to say about it and boosting our statements, changing their minds if they jumped to conclusions earlier, and offering private support and conversation among those of us who still don't feel comfortable braving the environment out here on tumblr — obviously the bad experiences i've had through this are sticking in my head and are really demoralizing, but honestly in terms of quantity and quality i have had MORE experiences of people supporting me and making sure i'm okay. this fandom has massive problems but it also has more of a solid, positive core than i was willing to hope for in the beginning.

i spoke up initially because it was horrible how isolated i felt when this all kicked off; the wider problem is absolutely not fixed, but i can confidently say i don't feel alone or abandoned anymore, and that gives me a ton of hope for figuring this out.

[very-straight-blog]

This might sound funny and cringey, but I feel like I lost something I cared about and now it's just sadness and depression. Like it's a TV show, I get it, but we waited 2 years and for what? To get the two worst episodes imaginable. I'm really starting to believe that Sapochnik was responsible for everything good in s1, bcz Condal and Hess ruined this show. S1 wasn't perfect and I didn't like a lot of things in it, but it still managed to keep me invested so I hoped that in s2 everything would be improved. And yet, I'm so terribly disappointed. Alicent's characterization makes no sense anymore, like they want so badly to show her as a bad mother and a hypocrite and really - after ruining bnc with Alicole sex now it had to follow with her not being able to console her son but hoping on Criston is a must do?? What sort of degenerates write this??

Aemond is also ruined for me and I would love to erase that crappy brothel scene from my memory. What was it for? To show his mommy issues, vulnerability... Idc. The dialogue was bad and they did him dirty with the angles and the pose. And now he's apparently going to be there *again* in e3 and we'll get full frontal nudity. Idk why the actor agreed to this since they are obviously making a joke and meme material of his character. Not to mention that he straight up lied in the promos about being loyal (if the RR leaks are true and I'm almost 100% sure they are). I get that they are told what to say, but a more general answer would have been much better than a lie. In brief, one of my favourite s1 characters is also destroyed.

Then Cole. My god, I only waithig for him to look at the camera and say "do you hate me enough already hahah?" He's the writers punching bag atp.

Helaena barely exists.

Otto is Viserys' fanboy and ofc, appalled by his grandson. It's not as he just has lost a son and was forced to take the crown in the first place by him and his mother, no less.

Aegon got more screentime and I love Tom's performance, but I'm not fooled. He is still depicted as weak, politically inept and rash. And he'll still be a bully, apparently. Just to justify his brother's treason. F*ck you Condal, Hess and whoever else is responsible for this mess.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I just don't get how anyone can seriously praise this shitshow anymore. It could have been great, but the creators are obviously not up to the task which is now painfully obvious. I wouldn't mind the greens as villains, but don't write them as a walking joke. I'm quitting the show and would like just to forget about it. This adaptation of the Dance was a huge mistake.

I feel you! By the way, I haven't participated in any fandom life, I think, for 10 years or more, but thanks to HOTD, I started this blog, I write some critical (well, kinda) reviews, and English isn't even my native language. I've been waiting for the second season for two years and now I just feel tired and empty. So far, the only thing I've liked about these two episodes is Aegon's storyline, that's all. Everything else is bad, very bad, and judging by the leaks, it'll be even worse.

Firstly, the series has a very strange pace of the narrative. We didn't get a bunch of important plot scenes, and even those that remained were shown in a hurry, but at the same time we have many scenes like "Rhaenyra stares at the dust for three minutes", unnecessary dialogues and PAUSES between lines.

Secondly, again, an insane amount of important plot details are left behind the scenes and this is absolutely wrong. Aemond's return home, the family's reaction to what he did. Aegon's reaction when he learned of his son's death. Aemond's reaction when he finds out what his actions have led to. And so on and so forth. Many of the characters' actions are shown without context. Alicent fucks with Criston - cool, but can I have some additional information? How long has this been going on, what feelings do they have for each other, how have they developed, like, anything? The same can be said about the scene in the brothel - no context.

Thirdly, it's unclear what's going on with the characters, as if the screenwriters decided to make the greens the most unpleasant people in the world. So far, I only like Aegon and Helaena. I can't even say anything about Aemond, because his only dialogue scene is built around Daemon and Luke, damn them. I just can't.

Everything annoys me except Aegon lol. So yes, I understand you.

[lavender-at-heart]

Could you write Bella swan x tall fem vampire reader? I need reader to feed on humans that are criminals and almost always smokin a cigarette

Omg yes gay Bella is the best version of her. THIS FIC IS NOT COMPLETED, I FELT BAD FOR TAKING SO LONG SO HERES A SHORT VERSION, I WILL ADD TO IT SOON WOTH A MUCH LONGER ENDING!!!! if you want to be tagged in the finish product lmk. Also there are themes of sa (think alleyway scene in first movie) and I know that's an uncomfortable subject so I kinda glazed over and left out detail for that part.

Bella Swan let out a huff of boredom as she walked down the dreary street. An attempt to regain her friendship with Jessica ended up with Jess being spooked. Bellas new tastes were too "extreme " for her and now Bella was left alone, outside the movie theater in Port Angeles. A little miffed but not unpleasant to be alone again, she decided to not make waste of the evening out. Unsure of where to go, she headed forward, down the dark path of concrete, narrowly missing a chance ride on a motorcycle. Bella was in a dark place. Mentally, always, but right now her mind led her to enter a particularly dingey alley way. Her heart seemed to pull her towards the dark abyss before her, much like how her heart pulled her towards biology class on her first day at Forks High.

As she neared a turn in the path a sinking feeling began to creep up her spine. A feeling she had not felt since...

There was a man. Smoking, head turned pointedly towards the ground. He stood there like a beacon to Bella.

Something to make him see me

The man looked up, with that familiar look. Sinister comments laced with something sickly sweet, and Bella knew he'd come running. He had to have, surely he would. The man was not shy in his approach, and Bella did her best to stay calm. Every seccond her safety grew thin. Every minute she took one apprehensive step back. Until there were no more steps to take. Just keep it up for a little while longer, she told herself. He'll be here any moment.

But that moment never came. The sinking realization that Bella was alone with this man, and Edward was nowhere to be found made her stomach drop.

Just when she was about to really try to scream and run, the man was shoved to the wall opposite to Bella, the speed of it whooshing in her face. She knew what it was, the who was not certain. Her headt skipped wildly.

He came! After all!

These thoughts were cut short after she quickly realized her saviour was female. Maybe Alice had seen her in danger and come to the rescue. But this was not Alice. Not Alice, not Esme, not Rosalie, not even Victoria.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's impolite to harass pretty girls?"

The metallic tone dripped from the vampires lips, before a crunch was heard. This was no vegetarian, that's for sure. Bella stood, stuck to the wall like flies in a glue trap. Not afraid as she once was, but she knew how crazed normal vampires could be.

Once she was done drinking she turned around with a cool look on her face.

"Thanks" the human girl replied with ample sincerity.

The vampire held a quizzical expression. No fear? No running? No concern or confusion? Seeing this, quiet Bella made an attempt to explain.

"I've been around vampires before"

"Ah" was all the ethereal woman said. The way she said it reminded her of him.

She reached into her old denim jeans and retrieved a cigarette of all things. How odd, Bella thought. She let out a huff of laughter. The flame from the lighter contrasted with cool toned skin, followed by a drag and blow of smoke. The woman looked at her cigarette and spoke again.

"Started as a human, was never able to kick it. Not like it can kill me anyway." She outstretched her hand and offered Bella the cigarette. Bella looked meek and wide eyed. Not wanting to seem "uncool" She took it and gave it a try. She inhaled wrong, she exhaled wrong and then coughed too much. The woman laughed and gave her a pat on the back, red eyes crinkled with amusement.

"you're just a baby aren't ya?"

Bellas face turned beet red. "No I'm not, I just, just never had one before." She stuttered out.

"Breathe in a little, hold, breathe out."

Bella tried to listen to the advice given to her but all she could focus on was the way her voice hit the air. A warm feeling filled her despite the cold weather. A parasitic curiosity filled her. Who was she? Where was she from? How old? Name? Favorite this? Favorite that? Bella wanted to know everything and anything about her, immediately. She knew she would follow this woman to the ends of the earth, and Edward could go fuck himself.

[ihavethedreamies]

Quick Sand | The8

Xu Minghao (The8 - Seventeen)

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~5k

Pairing: The8 x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Sci-Fi AU!, Reader-Insert, Smut, Some Plot, Hookup/One-Night-Stand/Strangers to Fucking

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Lots of use of the word 'Pretty', Swearing, Kissing, Oral (F! & M! Receiving), Soft Dom!? Minghao (not sure what to classify this as), Temperature Play (Cold), One Singular Spank, Unprotected Sex (Uh, don't)

Author's Note: I've had some time open up with my moving stuff, so I got to write this out today. My friend is coming in July to help me pack, so until then I don't have much I can do on my own. Hopefully can get a few things out…

P.S. Minghao is one of my most precious, my sweetest boi. However…he's also really freaking attractive and I'm not sure how to feel about it sometimes. I almost wanted to go soft with this but it wouldn't fit the theme of this series...

-> Hoshi's <-

-> Woozi's <-

-> Wonwoo's <-

-> S.Coups's <-

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

You hated the capital; it was way too busy and there were way too many people. Sometimes though, you had to go there. If you sound something really valuable, The Assembly wanted you to go to the headquarters to relay the goods or information. After finding a giant wreck that looked like it might have been shot down and the crashed into the desert, they wanted to see you in person. Even though you were technically a freelancer, you had a good reputation and so the government tended to trust you and what you said. While you were there, you decided to leave your rover to get some maintenance, which meant you had to travel around on foot or by transport. Not having anywhere specific to go, you decided to walk around the shopping district. You almost never found anything you wanted, not really interested in clothing or little knick-knacks, you just liked to look. The light of the sun didn't blare down too hard in the city like out in the desert, they had some kind of fancy shield surrounding the whole place. That was probably the only thing you liked.

"Your neck would look much prettier with a necklace." A salesman tried to offer, his accent thick, his own fingers adorned with gaudy rings. You shook your head and continued on. The only issue with being in the center of the shopping district was the stall vendors, they weren't inside and therefore able to more or less heckle customers. It was nice that they let traveling merchants settle in the big, artificially green park in the middle though. As you passed a tent made out of striped fabric, you someone looking at the different headscarves laid on a table. He was tall and skinny, with long black hair half tied up, the rest falling around his neck. He was in white clothes, more like robes, that were long and flowy, but you could still tell he was of a very narrow build.

"Is there one like this with a more plain pattern?" He held one up that was a weave of many colors, and to some it might be pretty, but it looked tacky to you. Seemed he thought the same. There was, however, one that did catch your eye, so you entered the tent yourself. It had a silky texture, nice and thin but strong and was a dull red color. Even with the obviously high-quality material, maybe it wouldn't be too much since it was one color. He turned his head to the side to cast you a glance since you had sidled up right next to him. Casting him a side glance yourself, you nearly gasped. Yes, he was a dude, but he was stunningly beautiful. You were a bit jealous if you had to be honest. One of the stall owners was digging through a pile of scarves, and who you assumed to be his wife came to you.

"How much is this?" She told you and you winced. It was pretty expensive for what it was, maybe because you were in the capital? If the last job paid well, maybe you could afford it then, but you were very low on funds right then. Thanking her anyway, you put it down and headed out, hearing the man speak with the vendor. You lazed down past a few more stalls and tents before you felt something light rest on your head. Red fabric fell into your vision, and you felt the silky material on your forehead and nose. Blinking, you pulled the scarf off your head and turned to see the man from before.

"If you're in the sun a lot, that's a good one to have. It’s strong too." he commented, and you just blinked again.

"Huh?" You managed to get out and he rolled his eyes.

"Some things are worth the cost." He was going to leave it at that, but you called out for him to wait.

"I can't pay you back right now!"

"Obviously, that's why you didn't buy it. Don't worry about it, maybe replace your goggles." He nodded at the eye protection you had around your neck. Your fingers rubbed over the cracked leather, and you looked back at the scarf in your hand as he walked away. If he wasn't going to make you pay him back, might as well accept it. You folded the scarf up and proceeded to stuff it in your pack as you continued through the market. Every so often, his words would pop up in your head as you looked over various wares. Most of the eyewear you saw were pairs of glasses or something more like an accessory than something to protect your eyes from blowing sand. At one stand you looked over the leather works that were presented. It was mostly belts and some jewelry, but you wondered if you couldn't get one and commandeer it to use as a new strap. That would work for a bit, but the thick plexiglass was also almost too scratched. The leather was reasonably priced too, and you were willing to admit one gets what they pay for. Unfortunately, it didn't look like anything was really the right size, so you thanked the vendor for their time and continued on. It was clear you were getting close to the food vendors with the scents in the air, and your stomach gurgled. Heading in the direction of what smelled the best, you ended up gnawing on a skewer of some kind of meat. You learned a long time ago not to ask what it was and just enjoy it. As you were turning your head left and right, looking for something sweet to have after, you were halted when you looked ahead once more. White met your eyes, as well as something dangling in the air. It was a new pair of goggles, nearly identical to the ones you had around your neck.

"Woah, where'd you find these?!" You barely noticed who was holding them, reaching for the eyewear. He easily lifted them up and out of reach and you gaped up at them.

"These you'll have to pay me back for." He noted and you finally looked at his face. Yes, he was pretty, but it was so much so that you got a little annoyed.

"Fine. How much?" You dug into your bag again, looking for your credit chit and he told you. It was a bit pricier than you would normally go for, but if they were the same kind, they would last you another two or three years. Huffing, you held out the little holo-chip and he pulled his own out from his robes and tapped it to yours. When you pulled it back and looked at it, you saw the remaining balance and sighed.

"Why'd you do that?" you asked after thanking him.

"I figured you might have a hard time finding any, so I grabbed these as soon as I saw it."

"Not that, I mean, yes, thank you for thinking of it, but…I meant the scarf. Why'd you buy it and not want me to pay you back?" Your question made his eyes widen and he huffed, turning to look away from you. The tips of his ears tinted a bit red, and he cleared his throat.

"It's clear you're not from around here. That's cheap." He pointed at the edge of the fabric hanging from your bag. Seriously?

"Well, thank you…?"

"Minghao."

"(Y/N). Well, if I ever see you again…" You shrugged, not sure how to end the exchange and he gave an awkward smile himself and parted ways.

When you finally got back out into the desert, you were extremely grateful that Minghao had gotten you the goggles and headscarf. You were no longer battered by the blowing sand and your freckled face wasn't completely red as well. But your rover was not doing so hot. Well, it was actually too hot, that was the problem. You had gotten the bad news from the mechanic that there were too many issues to fix, it wouldn't be worth the cost. Even though you got some good money for your tip to The Assembly, it wasn't enough to buy a new rover. You decided to use yours to the finish line and then sell it for scrap. Though…you really wished the finish line wasn't in the ass-crack of nowhere in the desert. In the middle of the day. In the summer. Your face was covered well with the red fabric, but your arms were bare, and the tanned skin was turning red quick, and the blowing sand was scratching as well. Then the bad turned worse when you felt the ground trembling. You were on a compacted-sand path, heading back to the paved road and as it shook beneath you, you noticed a tiny crack. Rumbling then accompanied the quaking and a smell like melting plastic hit your nose.

"For fuck's sake!" You groaned and broke out into a sprint, already tired, sore, and hot. Sand worm. It was always sand worms! The cracks on the path were getting bigger and the hardened sand was crumbling, turning back to fine grains. You cursed and panted as the sand grew softer, making it harder and harder to run on, and you noticed you were sinking as well. Plus, the worm was getting closer. You could see the main road up ahead and you wished you could reach it in time. You yelped when you completely lost your footing, the sand rapidly falling and stirring, pulling you down. Sand was swallowing you, and the grains blowing around you started to sting even more, the acidic saliva of the giant subterranean beast attaching to the sand. Your hands managed to reach the pavement and you wrapped your arm around the signpost just in time, a sink hole opening below you, taking the rest of the sand with it. The sand worm dove deeper and continued on well beneath you and your feet scrambled for purchase along the giant support pillar underneath the road. It was a bit too far away though and was slick from sand erosion smoothing the surface. You were too tired and weak to pull yourself up with just your arms and you were beginning to come to terms with your demise. With one more grunt, you tried to pull up once again, but it was futile. Right when you were about to give up, someone grabbed the back of your tunic at the shoulders and started to haul you up and onto the road. You tried to let them help you stand, but you instead fell to your knees, and they grunted, trying to hold you up.

"J-just give me a sec." You panted, your side twinging, the taste of metal in your mouth.

"Shit, you're scraped to hell and back." His voice was familiar, and you couldn't quite place why, and you looked at your arms yourself and noticed that there were tons of little scratches. Each one stung, and the feeling was intensifying as your adrenaline wore off and you whimpered. When he had leaned over, a pendant hanging on a thin leather necklace fell out of his tunic. It was some kind of triangle-like design, and you couldn’t place why it looked familiar.

"Here, come with me." He slung your arm over his shoulders, and he tried to hold you up and help you walk, but the height difference wasn't exactly going to allow it.

"Can you get on my back?" he asked, and you hummed. He crouched so you could wrap your arms around his neck, and he looped his arms around your legs at his sides, and started toward his hover bike. The white fabric your cheek was resting on also seemed familiar, along with the black hair brushing over it.

"Minghao?"

"You remember my name.”

“Yeah. What’s this?” Your fingers lazily messed with the necklace and over the stainless steel of the pendant.

“I’m a Ranger, this is our symbol.”

“Oh.”

“Good thing you had that scarf, or your pretty face would have been scratched up too." You barely registered his little compliment, trying your hardest to not pass out and drop your full dead weight onto him. You managed to maintain semi-consciousness as he got you on his hover bike and he put you in front of him so he could hold you up easier. You managed to have the energy for him to help you limp into an inn at in the nearest little oasis outpost. You sat slumped against the bar in a stool as he got a room, and he once again gave you a piggy-back ride up to the second story room. You nearly collapsed into one the of the beds and he picked up your legs to help you lay down. The man was saying something, but you were out before you could register what it was.

"Hey, (Y/N)." He shook you awake about twenty minutes later, but it felt like hours to you. You groaned at the soreness and stinging of your body and skin, but you managed to sit up on your own.

"I got some stuff to put on the scratches. Acidic sand?" He made sure he got the right thing and you nodded. It wasn't the first time you had dealt with it, but never to that extent. Minghao kneeled in front of you, opening the salve bottle and it came with a little dropper with a silicone brush on the end. You winced as he carefully and patiently tended to each little scratch, and you had the chance to stare at his pretty face. He really was so freaking gorgeous and sweet. You could tell that he was genuinely worried by the furrow of his brow and his gentle tone as he spoke.

"What happened?"

"My rover borked out in the wastes and so I had to walk back to the road. Then…sand worm." You grimaced and whimpered when he applied the gel to a particularly deep scratch. You watched as the cut slowly grew closed, the salve healing each little mark.

"What were you doing out there anyway?"

"I'm a freelance scavenger. I just go out and try and find wreckage and ruins." He hummed and shuffled a bit closer so he could reach your upper arm better. Getting up higher from where he sat on his knees, he ended up eye level with you, but was still focusing on your little scratches. So. Freaking. Pretty.

"You're staring at me." He huffed, a small smile tugging at his lips, and you choked on nothing, sputtering.

"S-sorry. You're just…pretty." Your last word was so soft because you hoped he didn't hear.

"I'm pretty?" Minghao's gaze flashed to your face and the implication took a second to settle and your face warmed. When you went to rub over your cheeks, you realized you still had your goggles resting up on your forehead. Taking them off, you yiped when you realized why your vision had been blurry; the plexiglass was near melted. Normally it was good against sand; sand worm acid was no joke.

"You've got to be kidding me!" You whined dramatically and let them flop onto the bed. Freaking acid. It seemed he was done with your scratches and his fingers went to your chin, so you were facing him again. Minghao looked over your face and tilted it a bit to make sure you had no scratches on the skin there. His fingers brushed over your forehead to see if the line was from your goggles or was another scratch. Seeing that it wasn't anything, he pulled back, but his face was still close to yours, pretty eyes drawing you in. When your own eyes flitted down to look and see if his lips were just as pretty, you saw him smirk in real-time ultra-high definition.

"What's caught your attention, hm?" You flinched back and gaped, trying to excuse your ogling. You really couldn't though, so you just stared at him. You couldn't help looking back, because something caught your attention. His ears were pierced, but he had a little stud under his bottom lip, right above his chin. Without thinking, your hand came up and your index finger rubbed over the crystalline surface of it and the light blue gem flashed with light at the pressure. You flinched back and noticed a thin filament of holographic marks shimmered over his lips which grew into a smirk once more. What? Minghao shifted his weight again, getting even closer, face so close you could feel the breath from his nose. His hands had rested on the bedding at your sides and his stomach pressed against the edge of the bed, he was nestled between your legs.

"Can I kiss you?" His voice was so quiet, but you could practically feel the words leave his lips he was so close. You nodded dumbly and you weren't expecting just how soft he started. You whimpered and he groaned in response, pressing his lips harder to yours, his hands leaving the bed to rest on your waist. Your own hands, shakily, went to his shoulders and messed with the soft ends of his black hair. You were panting when he finally pulled back, but he seemed significantly less affected.

"Can you do it again?" You asked yourself and he grinned so prettily, eyes creasing from mirth, and he did do it again. You sighed when his hands left your waist, sliding around to your back so he could haul you closer. Your next little whimper seemed to call his tongue, since it ran over your bottom lip. Opening your lips wider, his tongue met yours and it was like you got shocked. Not in a painful way, it felt almost cold, and it seared through you all the way to your core. You shivered and he pulled back enough so you could speak, the hand that had moved to the back of your head leaving.

"What is that?" Your eyes once more went to the gem under his lip, it was glowing a soft blue. His tongue flicked out to run over it and the same thin sheen coated his lips again.

"I have cybernetics through my body, and this just shows when I activate them." His finger ran over the gem again and you noticed that there was a thin line of bright blue under his skin, running parallel to the veins in his pretty hands.

"W-why?"

"Makes me stronger when I use my martial arts."

"What else does it do?"

"Wanna know, Miss (Y/N)?" He grinned and it took your breath away. Let alone how he said your name, more like you were some kind of lady, not just some girl that wanders the desert.

"Yes please." You grimaced at your quick response, but he just smiled at it, a little more cutely that time.

"Lay back." He instructed and you shifted up the bed and did so, curious about his plan of action but in no way apprehensive. He crawled on as well and kneeled between your legs, hands running up your thighs still covered by your leather leggings. Minghao hovered over you again, lips pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"You okay with this going further?"

"Fuck yes." You breathed out and he barked out a laugh. Without any more hesitation, his hands flew to the waist band of your pants and yanked them off in one movement and they flopped onto the floor. He swallowed your little noises as his fingers ran up the bare skin and up to your hips, waist and then your cropped shirt. Sitting up just enough for him to pull it off your head, he sneered down at the wrap-around breast band you had on. The line of light in his fingers lit brighter and pinched the hem and pulled, a clean line slicing through the fabric so he could just tear it off of you. You gasped a bit, but it turned you on way more than the shock of his ruining of your only breast-band. Why'd you leave your big pack in your rover?

"So pretty." Minghao grinned and his next kiss fell on your neck rather than your mouth and you could feel his lips searing over your skin. Instead of a heat, it was cold, instantly raising your skin into goosebumps and you gasped so hard you lost your breath when those cold lips wrapped around your nipple. Even his tongue was cold as he circled the peak and flinched with a moan when his fingers pinched the other nipple. It was a hard pinch too, but the same frosty touch soothed the sting some, and intensified somehow as well.

"Minghao~" Your fingers scrambled over the back of his white tunic, trying to figure out how to get the damned thing off. He chuckled at your desperation and his own fingers went to the tie on his belt that was holding it closed. While he moved his attention to your collar bone and at the base of your throat, he took off the top layer, then the undershirt off as well. He was thin, sure, but there was more there than you initially expected. Apparently, he had taken his shoes off a while ago (yours as well you just realized) and he finally had to pull back to get his pants off. You watched him at the end of the bed, but he kept his underwear on, though you could see the tent from his hardened cock. When you went to get up and go to him again, he stopped you and you thought he was going to climb back over, but he grabbed your ankle instead. You yelped when he dragged you to him, butt stopping right at the edge of the bed, the blanket getting pulled down with you some as well. He fell to his knees, and you were still trying to process what just happened as he took your panties off. The man groaned as he saw your slick pussy, clenching around nothing in anticipation. Not wanting to totally overwhelm you, he reduced the cold from his cybernetics and kissed right at your clit. You still flinched, but more from the pressure and your whimpers turned to moans as his tongue ran up through your folds.

"Fuck!" Your head slammed back into the mattress, fingers digging into the bedding as his long tongue snaked its way into your cunt and you could feel the cold building once again. The sensation was new, a bit weird, but in no way unwelcome. Your shivering increased and your orgasm was rising fast. His thumbs pressed against the sides of your folds, opening you more for him, the pads of his fingers cold as well.

"Minghao!" Your back arched and he held still as your cunt clenched around his tongue, the spasms seeming to last for minutes. You were still trembling when he removed his face from between your legs and he stood, wiping your wet from his face with his arm.

"Such a good pussy, pretty girl." Minghao pressed one knee on the end of the bed by your hip so he could lean over you to look at your face. Your hazy eyes met his and he chuckled.

"Hao~!" You sat up fast and he was a bit shocked but didn't move when your hands went to the waistband of his briefs. He just let you pull them down over his hard cock and when the garment hit the floor, your lips were already wrapped around the head. He swore under his breath, hand resting gently on your head as your tongue swirled over him. You didn't see the faint blue lines that covered the rest of his skin on his cock, but that didn't mean they weren't there. You honestly hoped not though, it sounded more then painful. When you started to ease his dick further into the heat of your mouth, he groaned, swallowing hard, watching as you kept going. He gritted his teeth to try and hold his hips still and he marveled that you took so much of his length so easily, and he was by no means short. You groaned at the taste of his skin and the drops of precum leaking from the head as you swallowed, preparing to let him go even deeper and into your throat.

"Shit, (Y/N)-!" Minghao's hands flew to your head, fingers burying in your hair as your nose pressed to the skin on his groin. You swallowed rapidly, trying to control your gag reflex and your head swam the longer you sat there, not able to breath with his cock in your throat. Finally, you pulled back and started bobbing your head, drool dripping from your lips stretched around his hard cock. More pre hit your tastebuds and your eyes flicked up to his face to see how much prettier he looked then. His eyes were closed, brow furrowed, mouth slightly open. When he opened them again, he wasn't expecting to see your wide eyes meeting his and he grunted, hips jumping out of his control. The move buried him further down your throat then and he panicked that he hurt you, but you just moaned. Do it again. You plead through your gaze, and he got the hint. He was close as it was, and you took his thrusts like a champ, only gagging slightly at the first thrust and he whined. Your hands cupped his thighs, holding him close and he grunted, spurts of thick, hot cum painting your mouth white. You swallowed eagerly, sucking hard to get the rest of when you pulled back. While his dick had softened a bit, he was still pretty hard, and you licked around your lips to get the rest of the fluid off. You gasped when his hand went back to your hair, gripping harder than you would think from him and he tugged your head back so you could look up at him. The sharpness of his gaze paired with the harsh tug made your cunt weep and you mewled. Wiggling a bit, you opened your mouth, tongue out to show him that you swallowed it all. He groaned and tugged again on the strands and a louder moan left your lips, paired with the fluttering of your eyelids, he knew how to play with you.

“You were a good girl, hm?” You nodded and whimpered.

"Want me to fuck you?" You could tell he was a tiny bit unsure with his tone, trying to gauge your reaction.

"Please." You bounced in anticipation.

"Want me to fill you with my cock?"

"Fuck, please!"

"Yeah?"

"Please, please!" He hummed derisively and let your hair go and you wondered if you did something wrong when he stepped back. Your concern was short lived though when his hands went to your braid instead, wrapping your hair around his hand and using it to manhandle you and flip you over. With such a sweet face and voice, you hadn't expected the dominant streak he was presenting, but you were far from complaining. Your feet hit the floor, chest pressed to the bed, and you barely had time to grab the sheets for leverage before the head of his cock was pressing into you. His cock was long for sure, and even a bit thicker than you realized since your cunt burned deliciously as he filled you. The final inch or two were fucked into you hard, the head of his dick roughly kissing your cervix, hips pressed into the flesh of your ass. His hand was still holding your braid and he tugged a bit, and you whimpered in glee. Minghao's pace grew quickly, and it wasn't long before he was fucking you so hard the headboard of the bed was slamming against the wall. You ended up on your tip toes, body shuddering from each pound, the slap of skin and slick hitting the floor mixed with the little noises leaving both of you. He grunted softly and gave a breathy chuckle when your core fluttered, and another hard thrust sent you over the edge. Minghao slowed the roll of his hips a bit to help you ride out your climax and when you finally were no longer shivering, he picked the pace right back up. He laughed at your squeal when his hand, lit up blue, smacked against the skin of your ass hard, the harsh slap mixed with the cold took your breath away. He groaned when your gummy walls clenched him harder, and he marveled at the red handprint rapidly forming on your butt. You almost protested when he dropped your braid, his thrusts still hard, but shallow and you whined when he leaned over you fully. His fingers laced with yours, stretched above your head and digging into the sheets and your body jolted when the same cold started to rise off his skin. His lips on your neck and shoulder pressed hard enough to leave marks, and with each press of his hips against the back of yours reactivated the hand mark. While it wasn't actually cold, just how your nerves felt it, he felt like you were on fire conversely. Your wet, tight cunt around his cock made it seem like your body had already molded to him. He loved hearing your little whimpers right in his ear and one of his hands snaked around your front and between your legs. The cold fingers hitting your clit circled, once, twice and you came again. Your orgasm was still fading when the third hit and your core clenched him so tight, he had to halt his thrusts. He was panting, trying to hold back, but you clenched his hand hard.

"Please, Hao, inside~" You keened with glee when he allowed himself to let go, the heat of his cum inside contrasting so starkly with the cold on your skin it sent you over the edge again. As you both laid panting, he felt you start to shiver again and he quickly deactivated his cybernetics and you sighed, then giggled.

"I would say that was hot…" You giggled again and he couldn't help but huff with amusement at your little joke.

-> Hoshi's <-

-> Woozi's <-

-> Wonwoo's <-

-> S.Coups's <-

Master-Master List

Seventeen Master List

Taglist: @gaslysainz

[ximperialknight]

[Proposal]

Please read notes after the pages

This was actually a storyboard I've been working on since Shadowbringers. Admittingly enough, I was in a bad spot when I tried to make this previously. Long story short, I was suffering major depression and recovering from mental abuse. I wanted to get back into creating, into writing. But everything I had written so far I was unhappy with. I hated how I fleshed Asbel out with my ex-RP partner admittingly.

So I rewrote Asbel's story. This was one of the first ones I wanted to rewrite. However, due to circumstances, I put it off. Every time I tried to take photos for it, it didn't feel right. I felt like I didn't feel ready and didn't want to make something that would ultimately leave me unhappy with. So I never went back to it until now.

I thought this would be the perfect way for me to end my gpose for Endwalker. Go back to a long project in the works. This story actually means a lot to me. Not just cause I was able to flesh out Lantis and Asbel some more but also how far I've come as a story teller and a gposer. I'm still working on things but to see how far I've come is definitely a journey I will continue.

Not to get sappy on main but I want to thank a lot of you for enjoying their story as I've written. There are some days I felt they weren't good enough. Some days where I felt my creations were worthless. But its thanks to my friends who helped me along the way as well as those who took the time to read my comics. Those little notes and likes mean more then you know. So thank you, and I hope you will continue to enjoy my creations.

[umblrspectrum]

i love learning cursive just to write text for exactly one character

[calamitoustide]

June 1st: Stitches | jegulus | @taylorswiftmicrofic |wc 606 | cw: blood

“Quit being a baby.” 

James rolls his eyes, “You’re the one who can’t even look at my hand.” 

Regulus glances down only to grimace at the sight of the blood, even with a cloth wrapped around it. It was a stupid accident really. Regulus had to spend the entire time at his parents' house packing up all their old things in boxes and figuring out what to do with old antiques neither he nor Sirius would ever want. Emotionally the act of it wasn’t draining, but being in that house again certainly was. James wanted to go with him but Regulus declined, it was just going to be him and Sirius, and James respected that. He wanted to make dinner for him to come home to instead, one of his mum’s recipes. He called her that morning and everything making sure every detail of it would be right… and then well… It was already getting late and Regulus was going to be home soon so he was trying to rush. Then the blood spilled all over the cutting board and James couldn’t even register the pain of it all before Regulus was walking in. 

That’s how they got to now. 

“I don’t like blood,” Regulus mutters, even saying that he still lifts the bandage to take a look at the damage again. 

James just laughs at him, “Weren’t you pre-med?” 

Regulus sends him a pointed look, “Shut up.” 

“I’m just saying how did you expect to actually pass if you can’t stand the sight of a little blood?” James teases. 

Regulus shakes his head, “Do you want me to just finish the job and rip your finger off?” 

James reaches forward with his other hand so grab at his cheek, “You love me.” 

Regulus pushes him away, “You bug me.” 

James hums, overtaken by the concern on Regulus’ face as he looks back at the wound. He finds his thumb trying to push away the worried crease between his eyebrows. Regulus doesn’t slap his hand away, he lets him drag it down to his cheek. Regulus doesn’t look up at him again and he pauses, “What is it?” 

Regulus sighs, “You cut yourself,” he says, but it comes out more like a whine. Regulus will never admit it to anyone but he’s always the first one to coddle James. More so than James coddles Regulus which is actually a hard thing to accomplish. He’s always been the softer one between the two of them. He kisses James’ old scars and watches him with big wide eyes when he speaks. James wants to hug him. He wants to place kisses all over his face until he melts in his hand. 

“Yeah,” James laughs shortly, “I got that much.” 

Regulus doesn’t laugh along with him, “You’re gonna need stitches, James.” 

James scoffs, “It doesn’t even hurt!” 

Regulus looks up at him, pausing for a prolonged moment. As the moment goes on there’s a sharp stinging in James’ hand, almost like a buzzing in his ear he’d forgotten the sound of. It starts off small until it overwhelms him—it’s everywhere. 

“It just started hurting, didn’t it?” 

James bites his tongue, not knowing if he can speak without his voice straining, “Uh-huh.” 

Regulus laughs softly, “Come on,” he places his hand on his lower back as he guides him to the front door. 

James pouts, “You’re so mean to me.” 

Regulus rolls his eyes, “I’ll buy you a toy after.” 

James shakes his head as Regulus opens the passenger side door for him, “I want ice cream.” 

Regulus sighs softly, “Then you’ll get ice cream, now get in the car.” 

[lunarharp]

into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.

the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.

for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.

the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.

but they were never whole to begin with, were they?

qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.

olly says nothing.

[izamationbroker]

My current job is pretty laidback about us having phones out and listening to music as we work sorting archaeological artifacts in a lab, so I've started binge-rewatching Durarara!! from the very beginning.

I've already finished the original run yesterday and just started x2 Shou, but some thoughts I had:

At least in the anime adaptation, the original run was meant to be pretty self-contained in the event they weren't able to continue (which to be fair was true for quite a while before x2 got greenlit), so rather than consider the original run a "phase one" of Izaya's grander scheme to start a gang war and awaken Celty's head it makes a bit more sense to think of it in the context of a failed first attempt.

In that context, it makes me wonder how he felt about it, his first grand failure. Grand enough that he felt the need to step back and lay low so he could go back to the drawing board (see: his initial conversation with Shizuo in ep 25).

I honestly bet he picked a fight with Shizuo just to take out his frustrations on it all. He managed to create a messy three-way conflict and get Celty roped into it as Anri and Mikado's friend, but the head gave narry a stir. Not to mention, Celty was able to help them resolve things pretty easily by just getting these dumb kids to actually talk to each other.

I don't remember the episode number because I just binged the whole thing, but Shingen at one point suggests that rather than rope Celty into a conflict, Izaya should try to center the conflict around Celty herself. Izaya claimed he was doing just that, but I don't think he really succeeded in the initial run. Sure, Celty was involved, but more as an independent third (fourth?) party than as a focal point. She was in the Dollars and friends with both Anri and Mikado, but she didn't really have much of a stake in the squabble itself. That was just a big messy of miscommunication between three high schoolers completely unrelated to her. That must have been frustrating, honestly, getting so close but falling just short of what he needed.

Then, on top of everything else, he wasn't even really involved in the resolution of the fight itself, either. He says in his theory that he needs to create a war only HE can win, right? I'd imagine that's why he was fucking around with a bunch of kids rather than the bigger leagues like the Yakuza that he works with regularly: it's a lot easier to insert yourself as an authority as the only adult. He'd be able to take control of that situation so easily, but Celty took that role instead, so he never even got a chance to win the war.

And to blow off steam from his initial failure, what does he do? He deliberately picks a fight with Shizuo, someone he generally tries to avoid when he can help it, by fucking with his brother's safety.

I wonder if he needed to feel alive for a minute by reminding himself of the loom of death. Shizuo's arguably the only one that actually threatens Izaya enough to feel any sense of awe or dread. I wonder if he wanted to put himself in that position to remind himself what was at stake and give him the motivation to go back to the drawing board and try again. He really does have a Shizuo Complex in that sense.

Anyway, I might do Shou, Ten, and Ketsu individually as I finish them, but if anyone would prefer a liveblog instead, lmk. I might stop at Shou for now, tho, because Wa-kun and I are I thiiiink like halfway through Ten? And I don't wanna spoil them with my rambling.

[writeouswriter]

The good news: I have written over 3000 words on a single project, which I haven't done in a startlingly long while.

The bad news: I have written it for a fanfic for a fandom I will never in a million years share.

The good news: But hey, I still wrote it, wrote something, and I still had fun writing it.

[tardis--dreams]

You know what? I give up on this paper once and for all. I'm not even ashamed anymore

[icewindandboringhorror]

Misc. photos from the past year or so ~

[optiwashere]

Random thoughts create silly fics.

This fic is all my own mind poison because I thought, "what about her birthdays?" one time. First morn days in the Forgotten Realms have the kinds of celebrations you'd expect, but for someone who was a Sharran most of her life?

Rating: G

Category: F/F

Ship: Shadowheart/Trans Fem Tav

Summary:

While still recovering in Baldur's Gate, Shadowheart nearly forgets to tell Asheera it's her first morn day. Or: Shadowheart can't remember what it's like to celebrate her birthday.

[omgdexnursey]

“You know, you never told me your name.”

“It’s Bobby.”

“Alicia. Can we be friends now?” 

Bobby can’t help the surprised laugh that leaves his mouth. 

Alicia’s eyebrows draw together. “What?”

“Nothing, just.” Bobby shakes his head. “You’re very forward.”

“I think people waste too much time not saying what they really mean.” She turns her head towards him. “So. Friends?”

Bobby finds himself unexpectedly charmed by her directness. She’s got a gravitational pull, like you can’t help but be drawn to her. “Friends.”

[thebluestbluewords]

Evie cups her perfect, cool hands around Ben’s, so that they’re both cradling the little box. A shared weight, one that they can take on together.  “I love you.” she says clearly. Her eyes are sparkling with what might be tears. “I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you laugh so hard you snorted juice out your nose. I plan to keep loving you forever, so yes, I will gladly marry you.” 

The relief that washes over Ben’s body is heady. “Thank you,” he whispers to her, a secret just for the two of them, and then, louder: “With this ring I offer you my love. May it grow until we can be wed, and keep growing long after that.”