#it's been marinating in the brain. for a while.
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"hey gang, wouldn't it be wild if we weren't persecuted for having a sixth sense" snowballs into roommate shenanigans with one of the most wanted criminals in an alternate-history 1940s europe
make me want to read your book in one sentence.
#and also what if that criminal could secretly tap-dance really well.#have i worked on petrichor proper in 2 years? absolutely not. anyway.#it's been marinating in the brain. for a while.#sixth sense = magic = allegory for being queer. yippee!#fuck it.#petrichor#<- tag i have not used in ages
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as the world caves in. || multiple x reader
AND HERE IT IS / OUR FINAL NIGHT ALIVE / AND AS THE EARTH BURNS TO THE GROUND / OH GIRL ITâS YOU THAT I LIE WITH / AS THE ATOM BOMB LOCKS IN / OH GIRL ITâS YOU / I WATCH TV WITH / AS THE WORLD CAVES IN
cw. major character death
notes. felt silly
arlecchino
You find her against a broken pillar.
Her once pristine suit is in tatters. You canât even discern anymore where red fabric ends and blood begins. The black feather-like horn in her hair has cracked, revealing crimson enamel, pulsing in tune with the balemoon above both your heads. Her curse, once up to her elbows, has creeped up to her shoulders, her neck, and just below her jaw. Each breath she takes is labored, pained. One of her wings lies uselessly by her side, while the other is just a stump.
She will die here.
But thatâs fine, because you plan on dying right along with her.
Arlecchinoâs head snaps up as you hobble over to her. The second coming of the cataclysm hadnât exactly spared you either; a rifthoundâs cursed teeth had sunk deep into your thigh. The wound is likely fatal on its own, though the abyssal corruption spreading through you at an alarming rate only solidifies your death sentence. Still, it doesnât stop Arlecchino from snapping at you as you approach, brows furrowed, her clawed hands digging into dead soil.
âWhat are you doing here?â she hisses. You really know the extent of her injuries and exhaustion nowâif she was in even slightly better condition, sheâd have picked you up and flown you right back somewhere safe. But she isnât, so you let yourself slide down the pillar next to her with a snort.
âWhat does it look like?â you huff. âIâm here for you, idiot.â
She gives you a look between incredulity and despair. âYouââ
âIf you think Iâd ever leave you behind, Iâm going to smack you.â
Arlecchino quiets at that briefly. You lean your head back against the pillar, a remnant of a building ravaged by the angry surge of the Abyss, and shut your eyes. You can feel Arlecchinoâs eyes bore into the side of your face, tracing the line of your jaw, the swell of your cheek, then the shape of your lips, as if to memorize you. When she speaks again, her voice is remarkably soft.
âYouâll die,â she whispers, and you turn your head to her with a smile, meeting her eyes. You take her larger hand in your ownâyour wedding bands meet with a soft clink of metal.
âIâd follow you to oblivion and back, Peruere.â
Something in her expression shutters, and Peruere leans down to press her forehead against your own. Sheâs so close, like this. Close enough for you to see the way the veins and arteries in her neck pulse under curse-marked skin to a beat that mirrors your own; close enough for you to feel the way her breath fans over your cheek; close enough for you to kiss her.
And you do, free hand cradling her cheek while the other cups the nape of her neck. Peruere returns the kiss like sheâs trying to press her soul against your lips. To give it to you instead of whatever higher power will claim it in the end. Her hand in yours squeezes gently, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. Her remaining wing rises, a little shakily, and wraps around you, pulling you closer. You smile into the kiss, even as wetness gathers in your lashes.
Peruere wipes them away with her thumb. Draws back just enough to look you in the eyes one last time, selfishly. The earth wails in the distance, cracking and splintering, and the wind howls above your heads. The crimson balemoon shines impassively down as the herald of the apocalypse, cold and unfeeling. But Peruereâs wing around you is warm, and her palm caressing your cheek feels like being at home.
âTo oblivion and back,â Peruere whispers, and then the world endsâ
âbut at least for you and her, it ends in love.
shalom
Shalom has always known you would meet a solitary end. She had said as much to you, back in the bureau when she had first met youâor rather, when you had first met her, in your fragmented memory. And some part of her was content with the fact. Sheâs smart, diligent. A HUSH. She could learn you utterly and completely, dive into and discover the depths of your heart before her time runs out.
She does achieve her goal, in the end. But she also falls terribly in love with you, and now the thought of being without you makes her unbroken heart constrict in her chest.
Now here she stands, in this field of lillies she once haunted. This realm of Mania, deceptively beautiful, with a cloudless blue sky stretching on endlessly. She can feel the gaze of the Illusory Moon crawl up her spine, but that is not her concern. No, her concern is you, standing off into the distance, aloneâa solitary figure of grey against the blinding white. And somehow, you just know sheâs there; like Orpheus for Eurydice, like something bone deep in you compels you to turn around and look.
But Shalom doesnât disappear like Eurydice. Instead, she steps forward and slots herself into your arms instead with a hum, her hands splaying on your shoulder blades, holding you close. She buries her head in your neck, breathes in your scentâlillies, always lilliesâand speaks.
âThis is it, then.â
You nod. Card your fingers through her wine-red hair. âThis is it.â
âItâs quite peaceful,â she muses, shifting to rest her ear against your chest. Your heartbeat thuds, calm and powerful, and Shalom lets her eyes flutter shut at the rhythm. You manage a small chuckle.
âFor now. Itâll get quite ugly soon, at least on the outside,â you murmur. Your lips press a kiss to the top of her head. âYou shouldnât be here.â
She laughs at that. âThere are many things I shouldnât be, and yet, here we are. Mostly because of you, you know.â
âYou know what I mean,â you huff, and she smiles. Of course she does. This is your solitary end, the cold calculus of the universe that demands your life in exchange for the world. If she was still HUSH, sheâd see it as a bargain. But sheâs not HUSH anymore, just Shalom, and suddenly the price is too high, too unacceptable.
âI know.â
âThen why are you here?â
âIâm selfish,â she admits, voice barely above the breeze rustling the flowers by your feet. âI donât want to be in a world without you.â
Not when you are the one who gives it meaning.
Youâre silent for a moment, before a rueful expression pulls at your lips. You shake your head with an affectionate sigh, resting your forehead against hers. You know better than to argue with her. Your hand finds hers, intertwining your fingers and squeezing gently. No words are exchanged between you, but no words are necessary. Her hand squeezes back, and then youâre turning, facing the growing light at the end of the horizon. Youâre her Orpheus amidst the flowers, leading her forward step by step until the light devours you both. To life, or to death, she doesnât know. She doesnât quite care.
For like Eurydice, what else mattered besides the hand in her own, the proof that she was loved?
kujou sara
Sara once thought she knew pain. Cuts and bruises, arrowheads and sword slashesânone of these are new to her. Her body is a canvas of scars from her time as a warrior, some pale and faded, while others are pink and freshly healed. Pain is inevitable, in a profession such as hers. Sara once thought she knew pain, but nothing could have ever prepared her for the agony of seeing tears paint your soft cheeks as you lie in her arms, staining the burnt soil below you red with your blood.
It feels like someone has reached into her chest, fingers curling around her heart and squeezing tight. Everything else has faded to a dull sensation; the arrows lodged in her wings as she shields you both from the world; the gash in her side from an axe-wielding hilichurl; the throb in her skull from when an Abyss Herald had managed to get a lucky hit in. The war around you both is now an afterthought, even as the skies rage and the Abyss spills forth like a hellish tide. No, the only thing she can focus on is you, as your lips painted red part and whisper to her brokenly.
âSara,â you choke out, âI love you.â
Sara leans down, pressing her forehead to yours. Her golden eyes meet yours, and she hopes you can see the sincerity within. âI love you too, dearest.â
Your breathing rattles ominously in your chest, and Sara holds you tighter. Closer. A small comfort as death approaches you both on silent feet, ready to collect. Your fingers grip the front of her uniform tightly, staining her white uniform red. âPromise me,â you rasp, and Sara exhales shakily.
âAnything.â
âFind me again,â you plead, your voice so small she would not have heard you, were it not for her tengu senses. âIn the next life, promise youâll find me againââ
She grips your hand tightly. âI promise. I promise, my love, so wait for me.â
She doesnât even know what awaits either of you beyond this. Is there even such thing as a next life? Heaven? Hell? She doesnât know, but she doesnât care. If there is a next life, she will find you, over and over again until the end of time. If heaven doesnât exist, sheâll build it with her own hands for you. It it does, sheâll meet you there. If hell exists, sheâll carry you out on her back herself. Sara would do anything for youâall you have to do is ask. She kisses you as your breathing slows, your final breath mingling with hers. As deathâs shroud settles on her shoulders, she memorises every line on your face, the set of your jaw, the arch of your brows like theyâre her north star, to shine forever in her sky and lead her home. Home, wherever you are.
(In another universe, a pair of crows roost on a powerline. In another, a black obi is tied around a beautiful kimono. In another, a museumâs display katana rests peacefully in its delicate sheathe.
In another, she stands hand in hand with you again, looking at them all.)
#sev.writes#arlecchino x reader#shalom x reader#kujou sara x reader#tried to put that art trend i keep seeing into words for saraâs#did it work ?? fuck if i know lmao#ndhshsjsksm. i cant tell if this is angst or not lmfao#i dont think so but this idea has been marinating in my brain for a while now and i had to let it out#wanted to include one more character but her plotline didnt quite fit this one#oh well. thatâll be a standalone i suppose
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How many Turtles and Goongala-guys does it take to change a Battleshell tire?
#donatello#raphael#casey jones#tmnt#tmnt 2003#I'm quite fond of how this turned out#this idea has been marinating in my brain for a long while lol
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This is going to sound really weird, I know, but I seriously feel like there's a number of like, British communists who desperately wish they were Eastern European??? Like they think that by being into political side of communism (usually not the kind that existed in Eastern Europe), they can be chummy with people who actually grew up in Eastern Europe and were raised with the communist era somewhere in the background their whole life, usually without knowing the nitty gritty of theory but with a lot of cultural herritage from that time...
Like no, there's a big difference between being British, being raised in British culture, with cultural institutions, history, traditions, then getting into communist theory and just assuming that you know everything about life in communist Eastern Europe, and then pulling a "how do you do fellow commies" to people from Eastern Europe whose associations with communism are much different, and they will see you as detached and insensitive at best.
#hatter blathers#ive seen a lot of people like that in the de fandom#and yes this post was inspired by a certain indie game that has been making rounds recently#like... you make a game thats so clearly inspired by de. you clearly want to establish a similar tone in your world#but you cant. because youre trying to make it into a reflection of the uk.#i dont know. its just kinda killing me. i dont know whats more outrageous#a de styled game having a landlord or a gender clinic. both of these things just clash so hard with what i associate with des tone#and from what i can see the tone is all flipped#des world is grimy and poor and has a ton of issues but the overall tone is very hopeful id say#because the world parellels harry: he sucked and was awful but he has a ton of potential and can turn for the better#while in this game the overall tone is everything is shit and theres no hope in anything#and like... again. the author can do whatever they want. but the game is so heavily inspired by de that its impossible to not compare#this whole game feels like a terminally online british communist who marinated their brain in leftist online spaces played de#and all they got out of it is WOW this game has based communism AND a funny failure man as a protag??? and nothing else beside it#again. its great if you love the game. im sure that the creators put a lot of love and passion into it and have a desire to show something#important to them#i just dont think its that good. the writing is corny and too reliant on le internet funnyspeak#and they take a blatant inspiration from de without seemingly understanding what made the game engaging and so moving#plus its taking a sucessful eastern european story and world and forcefully twisting it to fit the british mold while neutering#its very essence#so you can probably see why im not very stoked on it#but again i just dont think im the target audience for it. if you liked it then thats great
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when all is shaken, be my safety
Carla had said that he knew how it was, at that age - except that Eddie didn't know how it was. His defining memories of being eleven, and twelve, when everyone around him were having crushes for the first time, and holding hands, were memories of confusion and isolation. He hadn't understood the appeal, and he hadn't understood why, either.
He understood now, though.
- or, Eddie comes out to Buck.
ao3 link
âYou didnât say anything about your first kiss â or crush.â
It felt like Eddieâs throat was closing up, as Buckâs words washed over him. He had tried his best to avoid contributing to the conversation â and maybe everyone else hadnât noticed, but apparently Buck had, and Buck was asking. Eddie couldnât blame him â Buck was a naturally curious guy, and he was also a hopeless romantic, in his own way, and so it made sense that he wanted to know who Eddieâs first crush was, who his first kiss was.
It was just â
Well, it was a conversation that Eddie wasnât sure how to have with Buck, or anyone else actually. He had barely begun to have the conversation with himself.
Eddie squinted at Buck, the bright early morning sun watery. âDo you want to get a coffee?â he suggested, because Buck had sort of given him the opening, now, and maybe it was about time that Eddie told someone. Buck would be a good place to start â because Buck would be kind about it.
Confusion flashed across Buckâs face, but he nodded, all the same, following Eddie as he bypassed their cars, heading out into the already busy Los Angeles morning. There was a coffee shop around the corner that they all tended to favour â Buck, especially, because they served all sorts of nonsense non-dairy milk â and Eddie knew it had a quiet terrace around back.
They walked â and queued â in silence, Buck practically bristling with anxiety as they headed for a seat. âEddie, youâre â youâre kind of freaking me out,â Buck admitted, shuffling his chair closer to Eddie as they sat down.
Eddie took a sip of his coffee, letting the coffee settle into his tired, aching bones for a minute before he spoke. âI donât know where to start,â he admitted, because that was the truth â it was the kind of conversation that didnât feel as though it had a particular beginning, no sensible starting point. Could he just dive right into it? He wasnât sure.
Itâs not as if heâd done this before. Eddie had tried to have this conversation with himself, in the quiet darkness of his own bedroom, in front of the mirror, when heâd felt a little more brave, but heâd never had the conversation with another person. Not yet.
Buck would be the first.
(That felt fitting, somehow.)
âYou can start wherever youâd like to,â Buck reassured, gentle, always gentle, his eyes wide and sincere as he looked at Eddie. Eddie didnât know how he got lucky enough to have Buck â kind, generous, understanding Buck â as his best friend. He wasnât going to question whatever power, higher or not, put Buck in his life - heâd just be grateful he had him.
âCarla said, when we were talking about Christopher â and crushes â that you know how it is at that age,â Eddie said, pausing. He remembered being eleven. He didnât really remember it clearly â because listen, he was thirty-four years old, and time was a thief â but Eddie did remember it because that was the time his friends were starting to have crushes on the girls in their class. His best friend at the time, Noah, had spent every day for a whole week asking Jessica Mackenzie to hold his hand until she had finally relented during Friday recess and held his hand for a whole five minutes. It had made Noahâs entire day, and Eddie had watched on, confused.
He hadnât really understood the appeal.
That â that was the first time Eddie felt as though there was something fundamentally wrong with him. On reflection â now, especially, as an adult, as a father himself â it was sad to think Eddie had been a child himself the first moment he had felt there was something wrong with him. Children shouldnât â children shouldnât feel like there was something wrong with them because they didnât want to hold someoneâs hand.
Buck nodded, still looking concerned.
âI donât know how it is,â Eddie admitted, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. âI donât â I donât know how it is because I didnât have a crush when I was Christopherâs age. I â I thought maybe it was just that I was just a bit behind my friends, on that front, but, um â I think thereâs another reason why I didnât have crushes on girls the same way my friends did.â
Say it, say it, say it.
Eddie sort of felt like he was yelling, internally â just, say it. It couldnât be that hard â it shouldnât be that hard.
âYou can trust me with anything,â Buck reassured fiercely, reaching across the small table they were crowded around, stopping just short of touching Eddieâs hand. Eddie was sort of glad of that â he might just crumble if Buck touched him now.
Eddie gave Buck a tiny smile. âI know,â he confirmed. âI â the reason,â he took a deep breath, and another, and another. âThe reason I didnât have crushes on girls the same way that my friends did growing up is because I â I donât like girls. Or, well â Iâm not interested in women,â he corrected himself, because he was a grown man. He could say it. Heâd grown a lot more comfortable with the word, in the weeks heâd been saying it - comfortable enough that a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he said it aloud, something a lot like pride beginning to coarse through his veins as he discovered who he really was.
Buck was listening intently, his expression encouraging.
âIâm gay, Buck,â Eddie said, and relief hit him with the force of the freight train as he said it to another person for the first time.
(âIâm Eddie,â Eddie said, his own expression fierce as it was reflected back at him, the yellow lighting of his bathroom hardly the most attractive. But, it felt like a safe space to say it out loud. âIâm thirty-four, and Iâm a dad - to the best kid in the world - and Iâm a firefighter,â he continued, reeling off all of the things he felt defined him: his son, his career.
Taking a deep breath, Eddie looked at himself carefully - there was a time he looked in the mirror, and he didnât recognise himself, didnât feel ownership over the body he inhabited. There was a lot of reasons for that, but this - this was one of them.
âAnd Iâm gay,â Eddie said. The world didnât come screeching to an end, as he said it - nothing changed, really, except the expression on his own, fierce turning to - relief. He was relieved. Eddie had worried, it wouldnât feel right, when he said it out loud, but his own expression was proof enough that what heâd been battling with for so long was simply the truth. He was gay. âIâm gay,â he repeated, laughter bubbling up out of his chest as he said it again. The tears in his eyes - they werenât sad ones. No, no - those were tears of complete and utter relief.
âIâm Eddie Diaz,â he repeated, wiping roughly at his runny nose. âAnd Iâm gay.â)
Buckâs face softened, and he gave Eddie the kind of smile that felt like it had the energy to power half of Los Angeles - bright and brilliant, the same way Buck was. âThank you, for telling me,â he closed that lingering distance between their hands, giving Eddieâs wrist a gentle squeeze.
âYouâre the first person Iâve ever told,â Eddie admitted.
âWell,â Buck shifted in his seat. âIâm honoured - to be the first.â
Eddie nodded, glancing down at his sneakers, for a second. They were scuffed, at the toe - not that he was precious about that sort of thing. Buck was, but Eddie never minded - the scuffed toes were just a reminder that he was living his life, truly living it - in ways that he could have only dreamed of a few years previously when the weight of his life felt like it was crushing every last breath out of him, leaving him listless, lifeless, a shell of the person he could be if life had given him a different set of circumstances to work with.
He was better now - really, he was.
âWhen Carla said that,â Eddie continued. âI just - I couldnât stop thinking about when I was that age, and how I felt like - like there was something wrong with me,â he admitted, brow furrowing. âI didnât understand. I was too young to understand, and no one had ever explained that there was - there was more than one option. That I didnât just have to like girls.â
âIâm sorry,â Buck said, and Eddieâs confusion must have shown on his face. âIâm sorry that the adults in your life let you down like that, Eddie.â
It was Texas - in the 1990s, to boot - and so Eddie wasnât convinced any of the adults in his life had been too convinced there was another option either. The church, and their state - which, depending on who you asked, were the same - didnât allow for it.
Still -
Eddie was sorry too.
He wondered sometimes, how life might have been if he had been raised in an environment more accepting of sexualities outside of heterosexual. He didnât often think about it - because it tended to cause a spiral he wasnât so sure how to deal with - but sometimes he allowed himself a moment or three to imagine how he might have been if heâd grown up knowing it was okay to be gay, or bisexual, or whatever it was you might be.
In another universe, Eddie hoped, there was a version of himself who knew that acceptance, and peace - and he was happier for it, Eddie hoped.
That wasnât his universe, though.
âYeah,â Eddie gave Buck a sad smile. âI am too.â
They were quiet, for a second.
âThereâs something else,â Eddie admitted, and this was the bit heâd only recently figured out. If he was honest, heâd known for a long time that he was not straight - even if he didnât have the words for it. When he looked back, with the benefit of hindsight and a better understanding of the world, Eddie knew that heâd gazed wistfully at Noah at lunchbreaks when heâd started dating Jessica for real, when they were in middle school, not because he was jealous of Noah for dating Jessica - like Eddie had convinced himself he was - but because he was jealous of Jessica for being the one who got to hold Noahâs hand. He had wanted to - and he knew he never would. There was a whole laundry list of moments like that that Eddie could draw a line between, all leading to the same conclusion: heâd always been gay, he just hadnât been ready to admit it. No, that bit he understood.
This - this was new.
To him, at least.
âYou know how, when I dated Ana,â Eddie began, waiting for Buck to nod. As if anyone could forget those painfully awkward few months. âI was never really comfortable with the physical part of our relationship.â
Something sad flashed across Buckâs face. âIâm sorry, Eddie.â
âItâs okay,â Eddie said, and maybe it wasnât, but it had to be - otherwise, heâd probably just dwell on it forever. âI - I thought it was the gay thing,â he gestured vaguely. âIt was a bit, the whole, being gay, thing,â he admitted. God - he didnât know how to say this. âHave you heard of asexuality?â he tried. Maybe he could start there.
Buck nodded. âItâs - itâs when you donât experience asexuality, right?â
âYeah - kind of,â Eddie paused. âNot really? I - Iâm just learning about it.â
âTell me,â Buck encouraged. âWhat youâve learned, I mean.â
Eddie nodded. âAsexuality is - itâs a spectrum, right? Like sexuality.â
Buck nodded. âYeah - like, you can be bisexual, like me,â he said, clearly trying his best to understand. Eddie appreciated that. âBut Iâve tended to date more women - it doesnât mean Iâm not bisexual. Iâve just - Iâve had more crushes on women. So far, at least.â
Eddie nodded. âAsexuality is like that - itâs a spectrum,â he explained. Heâd done a lot of research - heâd have to show Buck all the tabs heâd bookmarked. Buck would be proud. âSome people donât experience sexual attraction at all, and others do, a bit - it depends, right? The same way everyones sexuality looks different.â
âWhat does it look like for you?â
Eddie huffed. âYou joined up those dots, huh?â
Buck shrugged. âI figured you brought it up for a reason,â he hummed.
âThereâs this - thereâs something called demisexuality,â Eddie explained. âItâs when youâre only sexually attracted to people youâve got like - an emotional connection with. I think thatâs me - and I think thatâs why Shannon was so - was so important to me, because maybe Iâm not attracted to women, but we - we had that deep emotional connection, and it made it easier for me to convince myself that she was the one. You know? And I realise now that I - Iâd have been denying myself more, for the rest of my life, if weâd stayed together like we planned, because maybe we had that emotional connection, butâŠâ
âYouâre gay,â Buck supplied helpfully.
âYeah,â Eddie said. âI just - Iâm still getting used to the idea of it, you know? Because like - every article I read about coming out when youâre older, and only figuring out youâre gay when youâre an adult is like - telling you to get out, and date, and explore your sexuality.â
âAnd you donât want to,â Buck finished for him.
âYeah,â Eddie nodded. âI donât want to - because the idea of ever having sex with someone that I donât know, and feel safe with, kind of terrifies me.â
âYou donât have to,â Buck said. âYou know that, right? You donât need to have sex with another man to - to validate your sexuality, or whatever.â
âI know,â Eddie said. âBut itâs nice to hear it from someone else.â
âI,â Buck paused, scraping back his chair. âIâm going to hug you now,â he informed, looking terribly serious.
Eddie loved him.
âOkay,â Eddie couldnât help but laugh, standing up too. âYou donât need to ask permission.â
âI know,â Buck said, and he scooped Eddie into his arms in that same way he always did, his arms strong around Eddieâs back as Buck held him close, his best friends face tucked into the groove of Eddieâs shoulder. Eddie pressed his face into the soft material of Buckâs t-shirt, the soft, powdery smell of his fabric conditioner familiar - they used the same one, after all, so they could buy it in bulk.
Eddie breathed in, and out, slowly counting to ten and back. It had been sort of overwhelming, to tell Buck - well, everything.
âThank you,â Buck said. âFor trusting me.â
Eddie nuzzled his face into Buckâs shoulder a little more. He didnât care that they were in public. âThank you,â he hummed.
âFor what?â
Eddie let out a breath it felt like heâd been holding for his entire adult life. âFor always making me feel safe.â
And that was the point of it all, really. Buck had, from the moment theyâd become friends, created a space so safe for Eddie, and for Christopher, that it felt inevitable that Eddie would finally come to terms with all the things heâd been avoiding for as long as he could remember - Shannon, the army, his family, his sexuality - and Buck had carved out a place where Eddie had felt comfortable to do that, all because he had Buck to rely on.
He couldnât quite articulate how much it meant.
Buckâs grip tightened, in a way that should have felt suffocating, but only made Eddie relax more, comfort and safety sinking deep into his bones. âThank you,â Buck returned, and Eddie didnât need to be able to see his best friends face to know Buck was crying. He could hear it, in the way Buckâs voice cracked a little as he spoke.
Eddie wasnât worried, though - he knew Buck would explain all the reasons for the way heâd been acting these last few months, once he was ready to.
âFor what?â Eddie hummed.
Buck was quiet, for a second. âFor giving me a family, Eddie.â
And, well -
Eddie couldnât argue. That was what heâd been trying to do for years, after all.
They broke apart, Buck wiping roughly at his eyes, shaking his head. âYouâre the one who just came out, and here I am - crying. I feel like you should be crying.â
Eddie was quiet, for a second. âI donât feel like crying about it,â he admitted. âBecause Iâm not scared, or upset about it - not anymore. I feelâŠâ
He trailed off.
âI feel free,â Eddie admitted. âFor the first time in my life - I feel completely free.â
âOh God, youâre going to make me cry again,â Buck was blinking furiously. âIâm going to start sobbing in his coffee shop, and itâs all your fault.â
Eddie laughed, nabbing his coffee from the table. âCome on, you big crybaby,â he teased. âLetâs go home.â
Buck nodded, pausing to pick up his own coffee before he slung an arm around Eddieâs shoulders, guiding them back out onto the street. âSo,â he hummed. âWhat next?â
Eddie grinned up at his best friend. âI have absolutely no idea.â
And he couldnât fucking wait.
fin.
#911 fox#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#in which i ramble#in which lorna writes fic#6x08 was the most queer coded ep in a long while#and so this has been marinating in my brain all week#its also terrifying to post so you know. enjoy
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Go for the knees
#marble hornets#art#jay marble hornets#the operator#I swear I can art#this is just been marinating in my brain for a while
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I really enjoyed Witch King and think it's Good but need to announce the ludicrous brass balls involved in the title.
Because it's named after the main character, who is known by that title, we establish that right out the gate.
Fairly soon after, we establish that he, like Dorothy, is not a witch at all. Although he is on good terms with them and uses some of their techniques.
Bit after that we learn that witches don't hold with kings, or indeed with governance. Kai says eventually that they don't have enough communal norms to even rebel against if you wanted to. Fascinating.
The flashback-to-origin-story half of the narrative terminates before we reach the point where people started calling Kai the Witch King.
We never find out how that happened! We never even really see anyone using the title except when he's being introduced to one major supporting character by another in the first or second chapter! It's wild. Witch King without Witch King. Garfield without Garfield.
This is so funny to me I can forgive the letdown, because to be quite honest by the middle of the book I was counting on the origin of the title as a sort of tying-together moment for the whole narrative, linking the end of the earlier timeslice to the beginning of the later one, and was astonished that it didn't come. It makes the novel feel weirdly unfinished to me, like Wells accidentally left off the last few chapters somehow.
I have been denied catharsis about the title of the book. đ€Ł
#hoc est meum#like to an extent this is a matter of taste#wells NEVER has as much structure as i expect a novel to#and she only does close zoom and super wide pans#no mid-scale information ever#which is a very clever way to make sure her settings hold shape and feel concrete without getting bogged down in the infinite complexity#of reality#but witch king minus witch king is Slightly Egregious#witch king#martha wells#i enjoyed the heck out of it!#but it's hanging in my head in a somewhat unpleasant way#because my brain doesn't think i finished reading it#confess to a mild sense that this book while there's nothing WRONG with it needed a bit longer in the oven#to marinate in its own juices as it were#spoilers#i also felt i'd been promised more information about the precursor race to the fell and raksura#than was actually provided#so again matter of taste#wells is so good at tightly-paced action sequences with emotional punch that with the right framing they substitute#for narrative resolution#but i don't think she quiiiiiite stuck the landing here#hellboy voice: king of the witches! me!#i got so mad i thought#why NOT fight a whole army of skeletons?#honestly i think he and kai would vibe#despite being wildly different sorts of demon
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Magenta kinda?
#this heat wave has been a blessing and curse#it hit 110 earlier#my neck of the woods is used to peaking at 105 and nothing higher than that#this shit is unheard of for several days straight#right now its 93 and this past week ive had no physical pain cause of fibromyalgia nor flare ups#i haven't felt this in a long long time#this feels like heaven i can fucking move and be active without feeling so limited or bed bound#but the heat and humidity have given me bad headaches and heat exhaustion is legit#I'm keeping hydrated staying shaded and not overdoing things physically#but fucking a it feels like a dragon is snoring right in front of my face#the power company killed the grids earlier cause of fire precaution it took like 4 hrs to get it back on#and I'm marinated in sweat rn#if the headaches could go away I'd be dandy af even though i feel gross#magenta#magenta is my vent word#not magenta but some other pink variant#trying to write but its too hot for brain#been reading and crocheting in the meantime while getting over headaches#i need to live somewhere where the winters arent horrible and the summers are hot but not excruciating#i need a personal terranium#thats what i need#hope everyone is doing good and staying safe if youre in a heat wave too
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Okay, curious, would anyone be interested in getting these Gear Station patches I made if I were to sell them? They're iron on patches, though I wanna look into and experiment with a stick-on patch type if people would prefer that. I've also got two different sizes for the pattern; a 3-inch (bottom) intended for a cosplay hat (still working out a patter to make one for myself) and a smaller design that's about 2-inch.
Here's a poll for an interest check, and also feel free to write in tags/reply about any thoughts (especially on iron on vs stick on) on this!
#interest check#pkmn#pokemon#submas#sbms#merch#patches#been rotating the idea of merch making in general for a while#so this seems like a good idea to start with someone small#biggest goal of mine is to make acrylic charms because I just want more#but it's something I should work up to#with merch stuff I've only ever made designs for zines like charms/pins so I've been doing more research on production and shipping process#forgive all this tag rambling but my brain has been marinating this idea autistically so thought I may as well throw it out there#rambling#poll
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Ok concept: seadweller trolls live in the ocean right? all high class and crabp. going by "series that has an aquatic people in it that they don't delve too deeply on if they are freshwater or saltwater" rules it would be safe to assume that they could live in water. concept convergence: violet troll that lives in like a lake,river or swamp or something. I will be pondering this while I go try and find a fanfiction that sounds interesting that i saw fanart of on twitter.
#What if felwater troggoths but they are homestuck trolls instead#for once my brain is thinking up a character and not a species.#mostly because after I finish getting tzeentch chariot and using the bits on a noise marine to make a infernal master rocker ->#i have no clue what to use my chore money on.#and its tied between gloomspite gits or spess mareens#i mean i only make like sometimes 20 dollars a week so eh i have time to ponder. been meaning to build up the courage to ask for a ->#conditional raise. but like the system i have now is good and while it is impossible for me to get an actual job (no DL no bank account no-#useful skills. etc...) I would like to do more things. but this is a discussion to have later and not under a homestuck what if post.#oh zog i gotta tag this properly before it goes full midnight brainrot#homestuck#homestuck troll#uh idk what to put so ima just#homestuck oc concept#there that sounds like a thing time to quickly hit post before I hit the tag limit again
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Is Basheâs sash a Shen Gong Wu?
Yes, kinda... Maybe?
See, the story behind her sash is connected to her family's history. Thousands of years ago, her family had the curse of being able to turn into giant snake demons; however, the power was very hard to control. Her family was nortorious for stealing Shen Gong Wu and keeping it for themselves, daring anyone to try and take what they had. When Dashe came along, he defeated the head of the demon clan: ĂdĂș. After facing a humiliating defeat through a Xiaolin Showdown, he realized his errors and pleaded for Dashe's forgiveness.
Dashe was... Confused, to say the least. He told ĂdĂș that the thought was nice, but he needed not to do that (to him at least). As a sign of friendship, Dashe gave ĂdĂș The Sash Of Purity. This sash would allow their clan to control their demonic powers throughout future generations. The sash would grow with them as they learned to right their wrongs. Once that has been done, Dashe appointed them as guardians of whatever Shen Gon Wu is needed to be protected.
So I guess I would say that it is, but it's only something that can be used by Bashe's family.
#xiaolin showdown#2000s cartoons#xiaolin showdown oc#i just written this stuff down#Lets just say it been marinating in my brain for a while
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kicking my feet and giggling. i love having synthesasia im out here unlocking Shrimp Friendship
#turns out if your brain associates someone with a million good things talking to them is both easier and more fun!!!#i haven't been this happy in. a while#i love my friends auwhsuahwuahauagau#marin rambles
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much to consider about jordan not drinking alcohol but liking something in her hand. about her calling nick an accessory as well. therefore heavily implying her preference for woman and lack of romantic and sexual interest in men
and then after myrtle is killed and she invites nick in for a birthday drink, he says âyou donât drinkâ and she replies âwell maybe i should start!â
interesting
#while jordan isnât explicitly a lesbian she does end up dancing w more fem presenting ensemble than masc so itâs a bit of an assumption#that plus the accessory line#so in this moment where sheâs FRANTICALLY trying to hold it together (as narrator of the Old Money and parties and rumors and whatnot)#it feels like sheâs grasping at anything stable. and she knows nick. and heterosexuality is safe#she saw a woman dead. nick said heâd explain to her earlier that day and im sure he did#she knows who myrtle is. she understands what happened even if she thinks gatsby was driving. she sees everything imploding#and a lot of it already had. sheâs a bystander having fun and enabling people and taking advantage but she doesnât want things CHANGING#nick come in and have a drink! he doesnât want to hang out with these people anymore. what people. me? you? weâre just like them.#what is there to celebrate nick asks? thereâs never BEEN anything to celebrate theyâre just AT these parties#nick is trying to leave. maybe she wonders if she can keep things the same by being acceptably heterosexual#i donât know i just suddenly found this very interesting it hasnât marinated in my brain yet#not pjo#chitter chatter#all the worlds a stage#gaam#gonna go back and add this tag to all posts eventually
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Thinking about some of my old writing projects I want to restart, namely a one act play I wrote (about two best friends in love, and quite possibly one of the cutest confessions ever), and a short story about an eldritch library thats very Welcome to Nightvale - esque. (sort of--)
Anyways I might rewrite those, or start making more solid concepts once I figure it out. (or perhaps I'll add the library to an already existing universe I have, it would fit well.)
#prince's ramblings#perhaps.#maybe#these concepts are old as all hell and kinda have been marinated in my brain soup for a while.#but it would be fun.
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<3
#been thinking a lot about how whenever i have a dream or an idea marinating in my brain for long enough it then becomes something that i am#determined to pursue. and that no one can really dissuade me from#it simply becomes a permanent part of my creative direction in life#i guess you could say that's kind of the same thing as having a special interest but not QUITE#like for example. what i'm thinking of right now is my desire to start a band#and i come up with a lot of crazy ideas on a day to day basis but a good amount of them end up being simply fleeting or dictated by my mood#the ones that stay though... those are the one that actually HAPPEN#i've wanted to sing in a band for at least a year now#to be honest it's probably been longer but it's been at least a year of me being consciously aware of it#and it just made me realize. this desire has stuck around in my brain for quite a while now#and i think that means it is going to happen someday#i don't know exactly how yet because the way i originally thought it might happen (me going to music college) didn't work out#but it's been a year and i'm still thinking about it and keeping my eyes open in case i meet the right people to make music with#i know from experience that when i put my mind to something i WILL get it done#in the sense that i will surprise myself with how stubborn i can be when it comes to not stopping chasing my dreams#and i've had big goals in the past that i did achieve because of this#i'm also like. surprisingly adaptable??? i only recently learned that about myself but i be pulling Plan B's out of my sleeves#so that's all to say -- i'm choosing to believe that i will start my band someday and it will be better than i can imagine right now#and in general i'm choosing to believe that the things i truly love and truly want in my life will only become more clear over time#even if i'm confused and lost at times NOW... if i keep moving forward in time it will all make sense#and a lot of times situations do work out exactly the way they were meant to but in the most unexpected of ways#i don't know how coherent this all was but yeah#starting a band is only the most recent example#belle speaks
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Messy panel redraw for a crack au I made :> (original panel is from :re chapter 2)
#my doodles#you can tell Iâm much better at drawing one of these characters than the other#I love drawing Kanae their hair is so fun to draw <33#souta on the other hand#what the fuck am I supposed to do man#anyway the plot of this au is like a swap au except everyone is either#a. virtually the same#b. swapped with someone that makes sense#or c. how did we get here#sorry for so many tags I made this shit up in my head a while ago and it has been marinating in my brain since then
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