#it's been like. a month since i've visited tumblr? hi guys

[bubblingdrfizz]

taco from inanimate insanity but instead of snapping at the end of season one she actually kept up her persona so she could live in hotel oj. it's alright at first, but she's so fed up with acting dumb that it's really hard for her to stay in character and it starts to stress her out. one day taco gets sick or smth. she sneezes and lets out the most british "BLOODY HELL." ever. it's so weirdly out of character but in character at the same time that it's not even questioned beyond a simple "what" so taco was just able to live the rest of her life in hotel oj with her actual personality without needing to explain anything

[ohbother2]

Hi everyone,

I know it's been ages and some of you have probably seen this notification and have hoped that this means the fics on this page will be updating, however, I've got some bad news.

This blog was a joint account between two friends who loved creating silly stories of some of our favourite characters in our free time and gushing over character details with one another. Beyond tragically, my friend, the co-runner of this account, passed away a few months ago. Obviously, I'm keeping the details private, but it was sudden and unexpected.

I know this is a shock to all of you, and not what you were expecting to hear after such a long hiatus. Understandably, I've not been active on tumblr, particularly this account, since. It's felt incredibly wrong to login to this blog and even attempt to re-read some of the stuff posted or your comments/tags, especially without her to talk to about all your lovely messages. She really did love reading them, and we'd call for hours to laugh and talk about your kind messages.

Although I acted as what you'd call the 'face' of this account, actually posting, reblogging, commenting and following others, she was integral to the heart of this account, to the ideas and writing and editing that made this account what it is, and I don't want to continue posting heacannons/one-shots/any kind of creative writing on this blog without her. This was our passion-project, and a massive chunk of it is now missing.

I just wanted to let you guys know what the situation with this blog is and why, and I wanted to give a massive thank you from both of us for being the most supportive, kind-hearted, and tight-knit community we'd ever had or seen on Tumblr before. The fact we even had fan-art made of our writing goes to show how dedicated and incredibly talented this fandom is, how supportive and just genuinely excited everyone is to hype each other up and lift each other and appreciate all our passions. It's genuinely insane, and so rare in modern internet spaces.

Regarding the future of this account, because I don't want to leave unfinished fics floating around the website, and for personal reasons, I will be transferring all fics/one-shots over to AO3, marking them as incomplete, and 'orphaning' them. I've really debated this decision, and I believe it's the one she'd be most happy with. I'm just giving you guys fair warning, I'll wait a few weeks before I actually do anything. I don't know if I'll delete this blog, I'm rather attached, but I won't be active for a while.

Probably most importantly, if anyone wants to take our ideas or our unfinished fics/one-shots and complete them/edit the story/adapt our head-cannons/incorporate them into your own fics, please do. I think it'd be nice to inspire and help other fic writers, and see the ideas carried on in whatever way you guys choose. Everything on this account is effectively 'orphaned' already, so feel free to do whatever you want with it :).

This is getting long, but I also wanted to say thank you to everyone who sent in requests, funny comments, little anecdotes, and witty one-liners into our messages/asks, both that we did and didn't respond to, especially lately. We planned to do a great return to this blog after our exams responding to them all/clogging up your feeds. Someone even called us their 'favourite niche internet micro celebrity', and we both found it hilarious.

There's no gofundme or anything like that set up. Sometimes, things just don't go as we plan and there's nothing we can do. If I've learnt anything from this godawful situation, it's that you should do whatever you want as soon as possible. Don't wait to join that club. don't wait to take that trip, don't wait to watch that show, don't wait to visit friends or family, don't wait to begin doing a hobby that you think you'll love. Anything can happen, and the only time we know that we have for certain is now. (Master Uguay was right in Kung Fu Panda after all).

I won't be active for a while, but I'll check in to see how this post is doing now and again, and I'll probably post again just before I begin taking things down.

Thank you guys, and I hope you don't dwell on this post too long.

[whiskehorange]

Its been a very, very, long time.

I don't even really know where to even begin, thats how long it's been since I've a) posted and b) logged onto my Tumblr. It's been close to a year, even 2 since I've actively posted anything on here before taking that sudden break without any warning. It was much unexpected to me as I'm sure it was for those of you who were actively keeping up with me, but I do want to assure you guys that its nothing too devastating.

I've noticed I've only seemed to gain followers and interactions on all of my posts in the year and some I've been gone, and I not only want to thank you guys immensely, as I usually do, for that but also for such a warmer welcome than I thought I was going to see, and that eases my nerves a bit. I guess to jump right into it, aside from spending this entire post apologizing even though that's what I want to do, I'll start you guys off with a little update: I've moved! I'm in a much more positive and helpful environment than before. It's come with its very high ups and very low downs, but I've been able to accomplish more where I am right now that stuck in the depressive hole and mental health crisis's I was having a year ago.

That being said, I've gotten a stable job as well after a few months of very combative mental health issues and many doctors visits later! It's certainly a start but its decent income for me in the situations I'm in now.

On the sillier/less important side, I am still with my boyfriend, @horrormomshoe (although he hasn't touched his tumblr longer than I had) and as many of you remember my guinea pigs, I am sad to say that my poor Elon has passed away late of last year right before I moved. I do still have Eddie and he's just a silly as ever.

Other than that I can't really think of too much else that has happened besides really small things that honestly just wouldn't be fun for you guys to sit here and read, but the TLDR: I'm happy (debatable HAHA), healthy (also debatable), and in a much better position than I was before. And you know I can't end this off without another apology for such a sudden departure, and it's been stuck in the back of my mind and has harbored a lot of guilt for how I left. Now while I certainly can't guarantee I'll be spending as much time on here as I used to now that I have a full time job, but there will definitely be frequent check ins, posts, and whatnot like before. I've certainly got enough in my inbox to keep my occupied and I've really missed being on here as much as I used to. I really look forward to getting back into this a little bit at a time, I've been dying to get my energy out somehow <3

[albafan11]

Making friends on Tumblr is my absolute favorite thing. One of my most beloved friends I made on here is someone I admired and was intimidated by for months before I saw that they wrote books. I wrote them random asks like 'where would you rather live? In an apartment above a bookstore in the city or in a cabin in the countryside'. Then I worked up the courage to ask if I could read any of their books, and they sent me a link to their Google docks. I read that book in 14 hours. I stayed up all night reading it. After a few hours, maybe, I got so tired that I just started live reacting to the book in their dms. And now I've seen their tits and they've seen mine. We are straight up crushing on each other! It's been what? A year? Two maybe???

Another of my dearest friends on here I made by following one big ish blog. They were friends with this amazing artist on here and reblogged a bunch of his art. I saw that art and thought it was amazing so I started following the guy. Then he posted his kofi link so ppl could commission doodles from him and I thought fuck yeah and sent him some money. I forgot to put in my tumblr name however and it instead used the last name I had used on kofi instead by auto filling. So he had no idea who wanted a doodle and he had to make a post like 'hey who's fookof and what do ya want me to draw for ya' so I had to dm him. Yada Yada Yada now we're real good friends. I mean we have each other's addresses and stuff lol.

And then there's my friend I made over ao3 by commenting on their post all the time. I saw they made a tumblr, and I immediately reached out to say hey and who I was on ao3 lmao.

I also made a friend only talking about this one character from an interactive fiction game called The Passenger (Jonny, my beloved). We talk about other things now, but that's how it started!

Another friend I made by watching the livestream of a big blog I follow. They streamed over YouTube, and the link they shared was accidentally the link to join the stream instead of just watching it. Anyways he suddenly popped up, and I thought he had a lovely smile. He shared his tumblr name and I went and followed him immediately. I then wrote him an ask that said something along the line of 'You have a lovely smile, it's so contagious 😊 ' and he shared his twitch account! I watched a ton of his streams and talking with him in the comments, I fell asleep listening to his voice! It was lovely. And then we joked about giving out our addresses so he could send me girl scout cookies and I could send him danish candy. And then we did!! It was great!

Another very, very dear friend of mine that I love AND HAVE ACTUALLY MET! TWICE! (Although first time doesn't really count since we weren't friends there.) We met irl first through a school program thing where I visited his country with my class. We exchanged tumblrs, and I followed him and then did not interact for like 3 years lol before, I finally reached out to apologize for something I did when we met. And then we started talking more! And now he's my absolute best internet friend!! We made ocs together and have so many au's lol. I think about our characters all the time, they're my blorbos, haha.

Idk what I wanted to say with this post. I just wanted to talk about my beloved friends. I love making friends over tumblr y'all are amazing.

[toastling]

This might be an unpopular opinion from all the responses I've seen here on tumblr this past month, but I think this whole Jack Blacklash has been completely blown out of proportion. I think you might all be a little bit too online. I can't believe I'm saying this with a straight face, but I think we might all need to go touch some grass.

Like, I get it, okay? I make jokes that read like death threats all the time about friends and enemies and politicians alike. We all do. But you and I, we're all literal nobodies. Who cares if we end up on some watch list for some off-color humor, we don't have careers. Not huge, public-facing ones that would be horrifically impacted by said off-color humor.

Jack Black is a public figure. He doesn't have the luxury to say the kind of shit or cosign the kinds of jokes that we all do. And I don't think that's fair, and I don't think that's right, but that doesn't change the truth of the matter. Hate the game, not the player. If you actually watch the event in question, he's right there on stage laughing along with the the rest of us. He's explicitly stated since thta he and Kyle still are and always will be friends *and* that Tenacious D isn't over.

But he, and more pointedly, his PR team, cannot allow that sort of joke about a major political figure, no matter how pathetic and fascistic he may be, to fly. And the response really does read more like PR damage control than it does something he actually has his full weight behind when you take into context everything else he's said about the situation since.

"It's just a joke". Yes, I agree, and personally, I'd have commit career suicide and stuck by it because that's the kind of person I'd be in any given spotlight. I'm not interested in celebrity, and I'm not interested in longevity at the expense of unlimited free expression on my part either. But I'm in the minority on that. Most public facing figures have to tow a line with this sort of thing.

Unless they're A) Already in politics, particularly as a right wing chud or B) Deeply entrenched as an edgy comic, and a stand-up comic in particular, then most famous folks cannot get away with an assassination joke like that and not face disastrous, potentially career-ending consequences and a visit from the FBI.

And yes, it's just a joke, but also, stop and think for a second the kind of world you're trying to create here. The alt-right dipshits all over Twitter and Reddit and the rest of the internet already use the same exact excuse of "it's just a joke" to try and get away with wholehearted bigotry and *actual* calls for violence. And yeah, it's bullshit, and usually, everybody knows it. But it's not always so clear.

If Kyle made that quip a bit more dryly and only made it clear it was a joke after the fact, all we'd have to go on is his word. And he's "our guy", so of course we'd take him at his word. Would anybody else? Not just "the other side", but actual, neutral, not terminally online morons? You know, like most of the world's population is? And even with how it *did* unfold where it was *clearly* meant as humor, it still has very real repercussions *immediately following a legitimate assassination attempt*.

You're really tempting fate and cracking open Pandora's Box there if you genuinely think public figures should be held to the same lax standards as us nobodies. As much as I personally loathe respectability politics, I'm not stupid. I understand very well the purpose that they serve in preventing every minor political squabble descending into outright violence, small scale shitstain vs shitstain or full-on civil war.

For a site that loves to complain about everybody else's lack of critical thinking, I've seen a shocking lack of it from everybody here on this particular matter. Just because the guy we hate was the butt of the joke doesn't make the thing that happened 100% okay. This shit can and does have serious consequences.

And now I see some chucklefucks saying shit like "Oh, Jack Black is the new Chris Pratt now", as if Jack Black attends gaybashing mega churches or has a psychotic paramilitary brother he supports or is in any way on any level even remotely as vapid as the crisped rat.

Like, one single choice we don't like because orange man bad, and literal *decades* of good will just evaporates overnight. Hell, some of you pretend like you never even had that good will in the first place, when you verifiably did. It's not like he called you a faggot or pushed an orphan down the stairs, he got spooked about the fact that the FBI might bust his door down because his friend made an off-color joke in front of tens of thousands of people immediately following an assassination attempt. Like??? You call *this* critical thinking???

Honestly, you guys are no smarter than your parents. And if that pisses you off, then stop being stupid and think about something outside yourself for a second and recognize that Hollywood Superstar Jack Black does not have the same privilege of inconsequential mediocre anonymity you and I do. That doesn't automatically make him "bad" or pro Trump. That makes him somebody who gives a shit about keeping his career going for another 30 years.

In summary: touch grass, eat ass, let it pass.

[veliseraptor]

i feel like i just did this but tumblr tells me it was in fact almost a month ago. guess it's just that I've written very little in the interim.

story is: long flight coming up on sunday so it's 150 words meme time as usual! send me up to three numbers from the list of fics below and I'll write 150 words in the fic of your choice

15 options and a wider range of fandoms than usual! 2 dragon age, 1 svsss, 1 doctrine of labyrinths, 1 trigun, 1 silm, 5 kinnporsche and 4 cql/mdzs. no lymond this time only cause i need the internet for that. go forth

1. “I mean, you could’ve left, probably would’ve been easier,” Anders said. He let out a stuttering, uncertain laugh. “I remember being pretty out of it.” 

He honestly, Fenris realized, hadn’t considered it. After killing the Templars, going to retrieve Anders had seemed like the only thing to do. Perfectly reasonable and natural. It wasn’t that he’d made a decision to take Anders with him so much as he hadn’t chosen not to. 

“I wasn’t thinking,” Fenris said.

“So you’re saying you would’ve left me if you had been?” Anders said, but he sounded more amused than upset. “Nice to know it’s not your default, anyway.”

“Force of habit,” Fenris said, returning with new vigor to his task. (the best all lack conviction)

2. He hadn’t seen any blades yet. If he moved fast now – Wolfwood wasn’t sure what it’d take, exactly, to kill an independent Plant. He couldn’t’ve done it before, when Millions Knives was at the height of his power. But Knives was vulnerable now, like this. Weaker. There wouldn’t be a better chance. He could find out what it took. Punisher had a lot of bullets. And also a laser.

“Nai, huh,” Wolfwood said, his brain whirring. Knives shifted, again poised to run. Shifted his bare feet, which Wolfwood found himself staring at. Vash was dead because of this guy. He’d made Wolfwood into a monster, made Livio into…something else. He would’ve killed every human being on the planet. Probably in the universe, if he got the chance. Sure, he was just a teenager now, but teenagers grew up, and he’d only get more dangerous.

He was also a fucking teenager. (The Second Coming)

3. Kinn didn’t learn that Vegas had been shot, was in surgery, and might die for almost three hours after the coup ended. His first thought was a funny, unfamiliar pang of concern; the second was a bitter good riddance, and that was the one he stuck with. He didn’t ask any further questions and nobody tried to tell him anything. He hadn’t seen Pete since that night, but he knew he was still around, not far. He tried not to think too hard about where he was.

He knew Porsche went to see him – Pete, that was. And Vegas.

Porsche didn’t tell him he was visiting Vegas. He didn’t mention Vegas at all. But Kinn knew, and it left a sour taste in his mouth that had him visualizing shooting Vegas dead next to his father. Vegas wasn’t a threat to him anymore, Kinn reminded himself. He was defanged, declawed. Also, he wasn’t even conscious. (Tilted Axis)

4. “You know people say that’s dangerous to just casually play around with,” Wei Wuxian said, and Xue Yang was ready to say that it was pretty rich of Wei Wuxian to say that, but looking at his face Xue Yang thought he was probably joking. 

“Sure, for people who are bad at it,” Xue Yang said. “Hasn’t killed me yet.” 

“I get the impression you’re hard to kill,” Wei Wuxian said. Xue Yang smiled at him. 

“Despite a few peoples’ best efforts.  I guess I can claim that one on you, huh?” (demonic cultivator team up)

5. It made him feel crazy, sometimes, the way the main family acted like they were family even though everybody knew it was fake. Right up until they didn’t, anyway, when the mask came off and Kinn had a gun in his face. If Kinn shot Vegas he’d be in trouble. If Vegas shot Kinn he’d be dead. 

Kin when it was convenient. 

Fuck, he felt like he was drowning.

Vegas waited until Macau left to say to Pete, “if he kills me don’t retaliate. Get out, get Macau, and leave the country. There’s passports in a safety deposit box under the name–” 

“Khun Korn isn’t going to kill you,” Pete said. Vegas’s lip curled. 

“Because he’s so fair?” he said. 

“It’s not a good move,” Pete said. Then added, “right now.” 

Vegas knew he was probably right. He wasn’t a threat, after all. Killing him would provoke another panic when Korn was trying to settle things down, to project strength and unity. There was a part of Vegas that wanted his uncle to prove Pete wrong, though, because at least then he would know he mattered. (post canon vegaspete long(er) fic)

6. “The Champion,” the Seeker said, when Cullen didn’t reply. He couldn’t help a wince.

“What about her,” he said, carefully neutral. 

“Where is she?” 

Cullen sighed. “You’re not the first person to ask me. I don’t know. Hawke left the Gallows after…after the fighting was ended, along with her companions. She might’ve gone anywhere, from there.” 

“You were there,” the Seeker said. Her eyes truly were unusually penetrating. “You witnessed…”

“The Knight-Commander going mad and bringing statues to life before turning into a statue herself?” Cullen said. His voice came out more snappish than he meant it to. “Yes, I did. I doubt I can tell you any more than you already know. I thought it was just a mage rebellion, like in…as in Ferelden’s Circle during the Blight.” And that was all he was going to say about that. “I fought along with Hawke and her friends to…deal with what Meredith had become.”

“And you let them leave.” 

It was all Cullen could do not to drop his face into the palms of his hands. “Yes,” he said. “I let them leave. What was I supposed to do? (Salvage)

7. “Are you okay, man? How’re your–” Porsche gestured at Pete’s chest and Pete flinched like he’d touched him even though obviously he hadn’t. Stupid, he thought angrily, but held his smile. 

“I’m okay. It’s okay,” he said. “Pretty much healed, I’m back on duty now with Khun Noo. It’s good.” 

Porsche squinted at him in a way Pete might’ve found funny if he didn’t feel the seeping guilt that said you’re lying to him, why are you lying to him, why don’t you just tell him the truth, isn’t he your friend–

That didn’t mean Pete had to tell him everything or even that there was anything to tell. It wasn’t Porsche’s business. There was no it to be his business, even. 

He still felt bad. 

“I’m really okay,” he repeated determinedly. “Sorry I didn’t bring you back any food from home.” (jiggety-jig)

8. He stepped back and held the door open for Porsche to come in. He resisted the urge to close the door on Porsche’s bodyguard shadow, giving him a sharp smile instead. The way he twitched was a little bit reassuring. 

Pete was sleeping; he hadn’t been lying about that. He probably would’ve wanted to wake up for Porsche, if he knew Porsche was here. As far as Vegas was concerned he didn’t have to. “Make yourself at home,” Vegas said coolly, gesturing at the living room. He twitched his head in the direction of the guard and added, “new meat?” 

“Don’t be a dick,” Porsche said, scraping against Vegas’s already frayed nerves. He almost said if you think this is me being a dick you’ve really forgotten what I’m capable of but it would just sound like – would just be – stupid posturing. Knowing that didn’t improve things any.  (Undercut)

9. “What,” Song Lan said, tensing. “What is it?” 

“What? Oh,” Xue Yang said. “Nothing, just thought of something else. It’s not important right now. You could always just try taking the fight to the thing itself - try to track it to its lair before it comes to us.” 

Song Lan frowned. “What did you think of?”

“You know what your problem is, Song-daozhang, you’re so nosy,” Xue Yang said, though he didn’t actually sound upset. “I’ll tell you later, okay? Stay focused.” 

There was something deeply and awfully funny to Song Lan about Xue Yang telling him to focus, but it wasn’t the kind of humor that made him want to laugh. He studied Xue Yang, weighing the odds that he was telling the truth versus the possibility that Xue Yang was keeping back something potentially dangerous. 

“Oh, come on,” Xue Yang said. “I promise it’s nothing that’ll hurt you or any of those so-called innocents you’re so worried about. Swear on it. Can we go back to the people-eating luck-god now?” (Walking Far from Home)

10. *Xingchen?* Song Lan said gingerly, after a while. The stain on his bandage kept spreading, but he just shook his head.

*You must think me so…* He trailed off. *I’m so tired, Zichen.* 

*Then rest,* Song Lan said. *Whatever you need.* 

Xingchen didn’t bring up Xue Yang again, or ask any further questions about him, but his silence felt somehow conspicuous. A palpable absence, like Song Lan’s own silence. He didn’t know what lay within it and wavered between wanting to and wishing he wasn’t aware of the negative space at all. 

Because Xue Yang was still present, a ghost in their shadows who couldn’t be dispersed. There was no spirit to banish, but he lingered all the same. (Life After Death)

11. A-Qing’s lower lip wobbled. Xiao Xingchen could see her fighting not to cry. “What’re you going to do about it,” she said. “Beat up my parents?” 

Xue Yang cocked his head slightly. It wasn’t an unfamiliar motion but for some reason watching him do it now made Xiao Xingchen want to shiver, thinking of some kind of hawk studying a blissfully unaware rodent. 

“Are you asking because you wish somebody would?” he asked, apparently completely serious. Xiao Xingchen looked back and forth between them, wide-eyed, his heart beating too quickly. What is going on, he wanted to ask, but his mouth was glued shut. 

“Sometimes,” a-Qing said, very quietly. Xue Yang cocked his head in the other direction, then shrugged. 

“Well,” he said, tone shifting abruptly to something much lighter, “if you ever want any hot tips about how you can really fuck up your gene donor’s day without getting in trouble, I’ve got a bunch.” (Redux)

12. His foot hit something and it rolled. Vegas crouched down and reached out, feeling carefully until he found something hard. He picked it up and brought it right up to his nose, struggling to make it out. When he had it, his blood turned icy.

It was a syringe. An empty syringe.

Fuck, Vegas thought. Fuck, fuck. He had no way of knowing what’d been in it, or how much, or how long it’d been, and there were too many possibilities. Or it could be fucking nothing, just mind games or not even anything to do with Vegas.

He wasn’t stupid enough to believe that for a second. He couldn’t exactly check for puncture wounds in the dark but even if he found one that wouldn’t tell him anything either. He was sweaty and warm but that could just as easily be the temperature itself and nothing to do with whatever drug they might’ve given him. (All's Fair)

13. Still, since that first night and whatever he’d done to me then there’d been no talk of hocus stuff. It was all about making it so I looked right and talked right and knew all the right flashie manners and all that, but no spells or anything. I hardly even saw Malkar do anything and I was watching for it. 

Eventually I worked up some nerve, because I thought maybe he was waiting for me to say something. We were eating dinner and I was being real careful to be doing everything right and trying to think the best way to say it. 

“Excuse me, Malkar,” I said, minding my vowels. “May I ask a question?”

Malkar set down his fork and looked at me. My guts got all tight and I almost dropped my eyes down to my plate but Malkar said I looked like a coquette when I did that, and not like it was a good thing.  (Pygmalion)

14. It was not as though Tuor expected Maeglin to be grateful that he had saved his life. He knew he wouldn’t be. You had no right to take my choice from me. What he underestimated was his determination to destroy himself anyway.

The first indication that they were going to have a problem came with the fact that, not even a day after Maeglin woke – two days since they’d left Gondolin – he tried to leave. Tuor appealed to his guilt, appealed to his familial bonds, without success. He even brought up the White Lady, and for a moment when Maeglin paused thought he had made progress, only to receive the coldest look he’d ever gotten from him.

Finally, he tried for a stopgap measure. A week, he said. That would allow some time for this desperation to pass, the urge to weaken, to pull Maeglin out of his half-death and back among the living. 

In the end Tuor had to knock him off his horse and bind his hands to stop him from fleeing. (time for all the works and days of hands)

15. “So suspicious, Mingyan-niangzi,” Sha Hualing said. “So hostile.”

“Tell me I shouldn’t be,” Liu Mingyan said, still standing so straight and proud and…ugh. She drove Sha Hualing insane sometimes, her perfect posture and perfect eyes and perfect…her face wasn’t that perfect. Sha Hualing was pretty sure she only wore that veil so people would think she was special, but Sha Hualing had seen her face and it wasn’t like – okay, she was pretty but not that pretty. She’d seen prettier, for sure, only she couldn’t think who right now, and why was she thinking so much about Liu Mingyan’s prettiness anyway.

“You shouldn’t be,” Sha Hualing said, annoyed. “But if you’re going to be like that I can always just go.” There was no point in trying to finish her business here with Liu Mingyan sticking to her like a burr. She’d just have to come back and try again some other day. 

“Where’re you going?” Liu Mingyan asked. Sha Hualing made a face where Her Highness Miss Perfect Cultivator couldn’t see it. (under pressure)

[audiojapanstyle]

Goodbye, audiojapanstyle.com

Hi guys! Just some updates:

(1) It's been years since I've updated the audiojapanstyle.com. Last month, I decided take the site down. It was still getting a few clicks, but the amount I was paying to keep it hosted didn't feel worth it anymore.

Thank you so much for all the support and visits to the site over the years. I enjoyed running it, but I don't have the passion anymore. Of course, Kalafina's disbandment had a lot to do with it, but I probably would have run out of steam anyway. I do still try to keep up with the members' activities and with Kajiura/FJ stuff, though.

(2) I'm still on Tumblr! Mostly lurking, but present. I'll keep this account alive. I'm also on my main @nothing-too-old, in case you see me pop up in your likes or replies. I have an Insta for photography (https://www.instagram.com/farahphernalia_foto/) if anyone's interested.

(3) If all goes well, I'll be in Tokyo to attend KajiFes! Really broke the bank funding it, but I'm soooo looking forward to it. I might even write about it. And maybe I'll see some of you?

(4) Part of the reason I have less time and energy for writing is because I have cats now! They're both kinda young and playful and want so much attention, and one of them likes to go out for daily walks OTL. But I do what they want, because I love them so much.

[dyandyan0]

starting new 08.26.2024

i start grad school tomorrow. i move to a new place for the third time in 5 years on sunday. i decided to make this blog because i have so many thoughts and stories to share that i always intend to write out, but i'm either too lazy to actually physically write them down or avoid writing it on my phone because i think the notes app just looks boring and i don't like typing on that small screen. but, it's 2 am and i had the sudden urge to make a tumblr to resolve this problem. this urge was triggered by me looking back at old "favorited" videos on my youtube channel that i've owned for about 13+ years. looking at content that i was inspired by when i was just an early preteen actually inspired me to get back on tumblr at my current age and start creating and sharing my life in a way that felt rewarding and... aesthetically pleasing to me on here. i also started scrapbooking recently, and have met more people that inspired to me to be more mindful and expressive, which led to me wanting to share on here also. writing in a blog also just seems a lot more intentional and less like i'm forcing my spam account followers to read my trauma dumps or random yaps on ig.

anyways, i start grad school tomorrow. i've been working in my hometown since i graduated from cpp back in the fall. living at home again since covid restrictions were lifted back in 2021 has actually been pretty healing. i liked my work while i was here, and most of the people i met there were actually super cool and made me feel welcome and good about myself. when i was sad, i was able to be so in the comfort of my own home. when i was happy, i was able to hang out with my friends from home within a moment's notice. i also got to save money and feel like my life had somewhat of a structure and destination for about 8 months.

at this point, memories of undergrad are starting to become scattered. i feel like i've lived 20 lives since i graduated high school. over the years, i traveled around all of southern california, and every location is attached to a different memory. some with friends, some with family, some with ex-lovers. they all signal a mix of emotions, mostly nostalgic and bittersweet. i spent the weekend in oc where i'm set to move, and on saturday i visited csuf for the first time. it was refreshing to be on a campus that wasn't cpp's ngl. but when i left the campus i ended up in the costa mesa area at ikea. the only time i had been to that ikea was on a date with a guy i used to see. it was actually a pretty funny memory, and was one of many positive memories with that person. after that, i drove my friend back to his place. on the way there, i passed the santa ana observatory. i saw tv girl back in fall of 2021 there with my ex. i had gotten the tickets for him as a gift, and as a little celebration for us since he was visiting home for the first time since moving. he moved all the way up north, and things were immediately very difficult for us once he left. i remember the concert finally feeling like a relief from the stress and anxiety of the distance. passing by the venue again felt bittersweet. sunday i went to the irvine spectrum center with my mom. i've been there many times over the years, but i remember the first time going there i went with my friend lisa, her boyfriend at the time, and their friend anthony. i was 18 at the time, and it was my first summer where i was actually allowed out of town to go to other cities with my friends. i remember going to all these new places during this summer, right before i was about to move out alone for the first time in the fall, and feeling like my life was finally starting.

walking around that mall and being revisited by that first memory there and how i felt seemed somewhat melancholic. if you had told me half the things that have happened since that time i wouldn't have believed you. but it was lk symbolic in my hyperactive mind that i was there again right before moving and attending a new school. despite whatever may have happened between the first time i went to that mall and now, i feel like i have to be grateful for the memories and experiences that ended up shaping me and bringing me to where i am today. i'm hoping to enter this new stage of my life with the same resiliency that i've shown in the past. the past two years have been so indescribably difficult. at times i feel like i just suffered in silence. but i feel more confident finally feeling that there is at least a small part of me that is slowly feeling like myself again and just happy to be alive, happy to have loved and to be loved.

i hope to update this blog often, and if you read all of this then i hope you have a good day :)

[amazing-spiderling]

So for the two ask games: 3,12, 17, 21, 36, 49 for murderdock and 4, 9, 13, 23, 27, 31, 35, 44 for Gwen, then 🧭, ♻️, 🤔, ❤️!

I think I already answered all of those WIP asks (and honestly, I don't have that many going at a time) so I'll answer the character asks!

MURDERDOCK:

3. Obscure headcanon

The Hand tried to diversify their portfolio by breaking into the entertainment industry, starting in Japan with musical groups. Matt had a short-lived stint as a solo artist but the project was eventually scrapped. He still misses it sometimes. Nobody knows about this until Foggy finds a beat up CD case in used music store one day and spends a full minute gawking at the familiar brooding face on the cover.

12. Crack headcanon

I just think it would be funny if he was a vegetarian. I don't even know that I consider this a headcanon, it would just be funny if the guy going around murdering people with his sword cane ate a lot of tofu.

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

I've made a few playlists over the years, but a song I haven't had a chance to put on one yet is "Promiseland" by Mika

21. Drink of choice (not just alcoholic)

Robbi Rodriguez has art of him with a martini glass on his IG and I decided it was an appletini not because he likes the flavor but because he's committed to the bit. In the privacy of his own home, I see him as an unsweetened hot green tea kind of guy

36. Their favorite season

Winter. There's less people around, the snow helps muffle the sound and things smell less when they're cold.

49. Favorite toy as a child

Gwen Stacy (65 I presume)

4. Favorite line

"But if the only way I can help is with my fists -- then I've already lost. I have to try a different way. I have to know I tried."

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

I read Spider-Verse before it was cool (JKJK I mean before the first movie because I was deep in my Spider-Man era) and there's a part in the story where a lot of the main Spider-People split up into pairs to go and visit other universes to recruit more heroes/ ward off the Inheritors etc. Gwen ends up in a world where Peter Parker has become the Goblin, going down a path not too dissimilar from her own Peter's. This Peter also ends up dying in her arms, but she shows a great deal of compassion and understanding towards him and I think that was the moment that really made me want to check out her series. (Which had been written at the time I read that comic, but didn't exist when it had been written, which I think speaks to how good of a job that one scene did at developing a character who had literally just been invented.)

13. Dumbest thing they’ve ever done

Not dumbest in that it was a conscious decision she made, but her complete misreading of the emotions of her friends (Peter's obvious crush on her, MJ's annoyance at Gwen's missing Peter's crush on her, MJ's jealousy and motivation for creating the band in general) sort of stretches the limit of general obliviousness, especially since she CAN read people when she's trying to.

23. If they were a scented candle, what would they smell like?

Backstage sweat and like... raspberry body spray from the drugstore

27. Their guilty pleasure

I'm low-key obsessed with Dollar Dog and I love that for Gwen. I wouldn't say she felt guilty about it before it became a hipster nightclub but she sure does now. I hope it fell out of fashion and Mr. Alby got to run it again.

31. If the had a tumblr what would it look like?

She stayed up late one night picking out some cool colors, hot pink, purple, something very chillwave, and like a very heavily filtered landscape photo of the city to go at the top- she posted semi-regularly for a month and a half and then forgot about it.

35. Their idea of a perfect day

She gets to sleep through most of it, but wakes up and finds out that her dad has invited her over for brunch and she's got time to make it and pick up juice on the way.

44. Their happiest memory

Probably something like a middle school holiday spent with her parents and the Parker family. Before things got complicated. She understands now that the roots of her larger problems were always there, but she can appreciate the comfort her innocence afforded her back then.

[keratoconusgroup]

How did you all find out you had keratoconus?

I'm new to this subreddit and this diagnosis, and scrolling a bit it seems like people on here have maybe had a different (more sensical) journey than i have......? So I'm curious about how other people got diagnosed. Here's my stupid saga — sorry it's long, LOL. I've worn glasses (sometimes contacts) since I was a kid, but in 18 years of optometrist and ophthalmologist visits no one ever suggested or seemed to so much as suspect there was anything strange about my vision aside from a very uneven nearsightedness (3.25 R / 0.75 L). Until I went to the emergency room in 2021 with what I later found out was corneal hydrops, LOL, although I remained a complete medical mystery to everyone in the emergency department that night. I had tried making an emergency eye appointment first thing that morning, but they couldn't see me for weeks. I made an appointment for that afternoon at the nearby clinic instead, but the doctor there just yelled at me for not having gone straight to the emergency room. (She was literally so mean to me LMAO.) But so I went to the hospital and waited for hours, and when they finally saw me they had no idea what the fuck was going on so they just ogled me like some kind of freak and made me a next-day appointment with the ophthalmologist I had called that morning who wouldn't see me. Awesome chain of events. Anyway, the ophthalmologist knew it was hydrops but didn't know why it had happened. About 6 weeks of prescription pain medication and a 4x daily regimen of 7 different eye drops later, the holidays came around, and i would be going home to another state for a month. I was pretty nervous about being away from my doctor, and asked him if I should be worried about this happening to my other eye or anything like that. He said no, the odds of that happening were slim; there was no reason why this should happen to me twice, but I could call if anything. Okay, so this is the part where it gets really funny. I went home and right before Christmas I started experiencing similar symptoms in my right eye. (The hydrops had been in my left eye; RIP to what used to be my good eye.) Blurriness, pain, eye watering, redness, loss of vision. I went to see an ophthalmologist there, though, and it... wasn't developing hydrops. In fact, he said, this was completely unrelated to my other recent eye incident. That sounded crazy to me, so I was like, Well, could it be because I've been touching my eyes so much, with the eye drops and the pain and all, or from straining my vision more? No, he said; total coincidence. Wow! And what a fun coincidence. I had a manuscript due that week and spent Christmas to New Years almost totally blind, hunched over my computer with my accessibility settings turned up to 100 and an icepick to the back of my skull. (Still managed to catch an incorrect comma deletion from my editor, though. Ayyy.) Anyway, I guess he was right, because after a couple weeks of the drops my right eye cleared up and has been normal since. I actually still don't know exactly what happened there; I should ask my current doctor… the third of the ophthalmologists featured in this story, who I only saw because my cousin suggested keratoconus to me and gave me his name. (He is very cool and smart and I love him for finally making things make sense to me, and he is also kind of hot.) So. Now I'm waiting til my consultation on scleral lenses, which I'm supposed to try before we resort to surgery. I don't really think the scleral will..... work? Since the bigass corneal scar in the middle of my left eye presents both a shape and color issue, and a scleral lens will only give me a round eyeball again, not a clear one. But yeah, that's my journey so far or whatever. What about you guys? submitted by /u/ST4ND4RD-D3V14NT [link] [comments] https://www.reddit.com/r/Keratoconus/comments/18vb06h/how_did_you_all_find_out_you_had_keratoconus/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[talaxyan]

hello from 2023

hiiiiiii

it's so funny to think that all the posts from this tumblr are all just for me in the future but I hope it's gonna be another good reflection to see what I was like in the past.

but let me give you a little update since the last time I was here ((THERE WERE A LOT!!!))

ok first of all. im unemployed now, I graduated college 4 months ago and still haven't been able to land a job- I'm on my last round of interview for this pharmaceuticals company tho and I REALLY HOPE I GET THE JOB BECAUSE IM DESPERATEEEE. if I don't get an offer soon my OPT might expires meaning it'll be harder for me to escape indo.

as much as i love being at home and spending most days with my nieces and having no worry at all, I miss doing something intelligent like doing all the academic weapon I was supposed to be doing. it was hard landing a job yall, I swear I've applied to at least 400+ job but still 0 offer. IM REALLY HOPING THIS PHARMA JOB WORKS OUT I REALLY WANNA GO BACKKKKKK I wanna live in city I can wander around please

anyway, on the fun part ((my nonexistant love life))

in 2022, i went for a semester abroad in LONDON AND IT WAS WILDDDDD like really good experience and I love london so much I wish to go back there again and visiting my london fam innit- it was surprising really good like i had a solid friendgroup in just a month of settling down (shout out to SHAIMA LOVE U SO MUCH GURL) i went travelling to edinburg and Stonehenge. it was a surreal experience.

oh and i was on dating apps while in London and I got the taste of love (a little bit). my first ever date was really good, i'd give it 7/10 I wasn't that attracted to this dude but he was smart and caring at least before he became annoying and called me a self-obsessed girl- like dude HOW CANT I BE OBSESSED OVER MYSELFF? anyway I didn't continue talking to him because I really thought I should give an ugly guy a chance just bc he seems nice personally but he really wasn't so I went to 7 more dates after that--- ND I GOT MY FIRST EVER KISS??? LIKE HELLO? this dude I kissed, we met on tinder and I went to his place the night I first saw him and I gave him a glockglock3000 it was crazy-- but after that night I learnt why people like dick- and he got a pretty one too and it tasted sweet?????? maybe from the lube he was using but we didn't do the full thing cuz I was kinda hesitant cuz I BARELY KNOW HIM OFC??? but yea I learnt some things but my experience with men in general wasn't really working out bc ALL I WANT IS LOVE and it seems like u cant really find that on dating app.

other than that, i cut off some people from my life. it was sad but I think its about time. this girl I really wanted to befriend with since freshman year, we ended became bestie and even lived together in the apartment, but I think it was really toxic tbh- it think the more I knew people, the more I feel like I withdrew myself form them.thats kinda scared me because I really wanted to accept people the way they are but it was really not good having her around- for some reason in social settings, everytime I spent time wth her, it just irritaes me more and that made me realize that friendship wasn't supposed to be like that, it shouldn't cost you your mental health to be living with your friend so yeah, after graduation, I never contacted her and she also never contact me either so it's mutual I think

my time at skidmore was overall fun, I went to typical college parties, got drunk and wasted but it was all really fun. i love my girl friends my bbygurl I love them so much and they made my time at skidmore 100000x so much better. i would be a lot more miserable if it wasn't because of them. there was rough patches along the way but we are good friends so I was able to let go everything and keep our friendship eventho now w graduated and harder to see each other but I really hope to meet them again<3 I love them thao kim connie rebecca and my isu babies<3

my plan now is hoping i land that job in Boston > lease an apartment > fly from jakarta and meet natan > relocate to Boston and get my stuff at Uhaul in Albany > starting working and getting the sense of really world > SAVE A LOT OF MONEY SO I CAN SPOIL MY LOVED ONES AND MYSELF

i think i can do it. delusion is the key and I quite frankly believe in myself. i really hope so I wish.

so yeah, thats mostly the update from me. hopefully in the next post I can give you a better news and more GOOD STORY FROM MY LOVE LIFE yea. ok goodbye for now and I see u later

[gjjokok]

20 - August 27, 2023 (sunday)

Wow it has been a really long time since I came to this Tumblr blog! I guess that's a good thing because it means I've been mentally stable for a while lol. Some things that happened since I last journalled:

Got completely over Syl

Had a situationship with some other people, most namely Royo (i guess)

Had a very serious situationship with Will who I was pretty much dating and really really liked

Moved to new york with EY, made many friends here

Living with Daniel in new york which is crazy since we both thought we hated each other when we first met

In new york, fell in deep LIKE with Kevin Wu who I met when I visited New York last summer with Royo but barely remember meeting. Also have met many other notable boys in new york (ricky, JC) but Kevin is by far the most notable

Anyways, life has actually been going really well and up until about 2 hours ago before I had a nap I have been doing great. But then I woke up from a nap alone in our apartment and feel like crying for unknown reasons so lets see why I feel so bad!

The thing most pressing on my mind is my health anxiety. I feel like this is something a lot of people have, but it is truly so frustrating how I will have (or at least think that I have) 1 major health concern after another. Most recently I was really sick, like insanely sore throat, for about a week where I thought I had strep throat and was stressed because I dont understand the american health care system and didn't know how to get treated or how expensive it would be. It got better last week and I was fine for about 3 days...until now...I just have random double vision. Not all the time, but when I look at something too close to me or if it's really bright in my eyes then I see double. When I close one eye it's totally fine, and a lot of the time I can walk around fine but then I'll rub my eyes and feel like I'm going to fall over because everything is double and I feel a bit dizzy. It's like I've been drunk constantly for the past few days. When I look it up it's either like "GO TO THE ER NOW YOU HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR OR ANEURISM" or "yeah there's not much that can be done other than monitor it and if it persists for 12+ months without improvement then there is a surgery." This is stressing me out so much because it just makes me feel out of it when I'm hanging out with people and walking around doing basic stuff because it takes extra effort just for me to not see everything in double. I would just go to urgent care, but based on what I saw online i dont think they could do much, and I dont know how expensive it would be....anyways if it continues for another few days I will definitely get it checked out, but it's been better today so I'm hoping it's correcting itself..

I think this is more just a result of the fact I feel alone in this exact moment, but I feel so depressy about Kevin not wanting to be with me. In short, Kevin and i met and get along SO WELL and his personality is perfect and I cant keep my hands (and mouth) off of him when he's around me. I never would have came onto him if he didn't flirt with me first, but I'm just so into him and everything about him. However, we have both always said we aren't looking to date - that changed for me about a month in and I realized I really like him and want him to be mine. I spoke about this with him about 5 days ago, and this hasn't changed for him so he still isn't looking to date. To protect my feelings I decided that I need to talk with him less then, but I'm just so sad because I really saw a future for us or I thought we could at least try dating. Since we spoke. I've been generally good and am starting to accept we are just friends and I've been speaking very casually to some other guys. I really thought we were in a good place because we were hanging out at a club on Friday night and we kissed a lot with no strings attached and it felt great. And then him and Tommy, Ricky, Merlin, Chris came over to have dinner with Daniel and i at our place and to play games and stuff. It was so fun and I had no sad thoughts about wanting to be with him. But now I wake up from this nap alone in our apartment, and god I wish I could just hangout with him and cuddle with him and maybe I still have more work I need to do with myself to accept that him and I will never be together. Similar with Syl, I think this is so hard with him because I would have never come on to him first but he started things with me and then decided he doesn't want to be with me after I got so emotionally invested. But, I got over Syl eventually and now we're good friends, and Kevin is kind of more mature and a better person than Syl in general so I know I'll be able to get over Kevin and be friends with him hopefully for a long time.

I was more anxious about this last weekend and earlier this week, but I really feel like I never belong in any group I'm in. After never fitting in with friend groups that are all straight or all girls, I found gay people I love to hangout with in Toronto and New York, but they're nearly all asian so I still feel like I dont belong. This gives me huge imposter syndrome when I'm out with my friends and I kind of hate taking pictures because it is so obvious that I don't belong. It also doesn't help when I feel like I'm always the one reaching out to make plans with people instead of people reaching out to me. For example when I ask people what they're doing for EZoo next weekend, people are very inviting and ask me to join them, but only after I reach out first to ask them their plans. It would be really nice to get an invite to something without being an after thought for one (however as I type that out I remember so many times people have invited me to parties or to cottages or to movies without me asking so many I'm only remembering the times that I don't get invited).

So that's everything I can think of that might be making me feel anxious right now! I just want this double vision to go away...I can deal with heartbreak from Kevin and I can try to strengthen my relationships with friends, but this constant anxiety from feeling like I might die at any time is kind of ruining my life right now. I guess this is in my control though because I can just go to urgent care and at least know that I did everything I can instead of just waiting and hoping it'll go away..

[calvin-af-crone]

My Long Goodbye to Calvin Fandom

I devoted years of my life to Calvin Harris because I loved his music then I loved the man I thought he was. And I was entitled to that delusion because I paid in hours of research & study to write my History of Calvin Harris & watched every video & interview related to him on YouTube. I became convinced he was a flawed genius who might be slightly on the spectrum but his insecurities made him a humble nice guy. I felt that was a reasonable appraisal because I never idolized him. He's done some incredibly stupid stuff over the years & I called him out when they happened. But no one accused me of being a hater...

My reality got shattered by The Split™. There is no excuse for what he did to Aarika. NONE. We've talked that to death. I'm firm in my opinion & that's that. I had just barely recovered when I got the second shock—Vick! Then came the shock of her tabloid stories claiming they'd been dating for 5 months! Excuse me if I do not approve. I'm an Old w/ clearly defined ethical boundaries. Nice guys don't overlap relationships. That's cheating.

Since then I've been holding on in case I felt the need to say anything about FWBv2. I am so relieved that I like it. Even filtered thru my negative opinions of him as a person, I can still appreciate his musical genius. I'm very happy about that.

But that was not the end of being shocked. This happened on 1 June:

I thought Vick having nudes on the internet was a joke until I entered her name & the word "nudes" into Google Search. Oh wow! How dare I give away such deeply hidden search secrets? No one made a fuss when I joked about Calvin's dick pix on Twitter. Public information is public. There's no "weird conspiracy theories involved". Facts are facts.

Also, he's full of bullshit. Here's a screen shot of his Archive from this morning. Opting out of an Archive is the only way to "exclude" Google Search & he obviously still has one.

Then Supa did this:

Honestly. He's the one who was harassing me for posting stuff about Aarika. I switched that content to my side blog to avoid annoying him. Then he starts using trolls to trash talk about me & pulls this shit like he's a victim.

Wait!

You're wondering how I can see his Archive & can take screen shots of his content after he blocked me. First, Tumblr is dependent on Google Search to compile their Archive function. That's the down side of setting your blog to "private". Blocking only keeps me from directly visiting his blog or communicating w/ him. Second, years ago I made a bookmark to quickly access his Archive for reference. I was only slightly surprised that it still worked.

So yeah, all this time Anons were running back & forth telling tales, I could see them! And I saw how Supa responded by continuing to refer to me as crazy hater. That was his new theme & being allowed to drag me boosted his Anon content.

Then this happened on the morning of 7 July:

This Anon is outright trolling. I never "pretty much revealed" where they were because I never knew. All I ever said was Northern Italy, which doesn't exactly narrow down their location to a resort.

But here's the part that bothers me. Supa believed the troll! If I had gotten a similar message about him, I never would have believed it! Why should he think I would suddenly change the rules we all agreed upon years ago? Ah but, he was building up his theme & this Anon message served that purpose.

Then that evening this showed up...

Followed by realizing...

Calvin blocked me on IG!

Oddly, I wasn't shocked after a gang of people spent a month making me out to be a crazy hater. But why only IG? If he meant to exclude me, why wasn't I blocked on Twitter? But the strangest thing is: losing that access didn't interfere one bit w/ my blog's content. It was pretty remarkable to realize...

Calvin's IG was not a necessary source for my blog!

If Calvin did post something worth seeing, it got shared by half the people in his inner circle. Or I found it on TikTok AND Facebook! Most of my info comes from Google News Alerts.

You, too, can know as much as I did. The parameter that works is "Calvin Harris DJ". Otherwise, you get baseball players & criminals. I'm deleting my Alerts. If Calvin wants my attention, he'll have to do something that goes viral on Twitter or pops up under the Entertainment section of Google News.

I'm done w/ him & I'm done w/ this blog.

If you're interested in my personal journey, you know where to find me. If you absolutely need to talk to me do so via chat. Except for a small group of virtual friends, this chapter in my life is closed.

[engagemachine]

Hi babies. <3 Just wanted to say I miss you all so much. I have been traveling this past week and visiting family back in my hometown, and I have some more traveling + a flight scheduled for next week as well. I haven't been able to do any writing during this time, but I think about you all often (every day!!) and I did manage to do a little editing for chapter twelve while I was away.

I would still like to do the voice recording thing I had mentioned in a previous post, but I'm worried about exceeding Tumblr's mp3 size file limit. Does anybody know how long I would feasibly be able to record for?

My ask box has been pretty quiet since I left, but I do have one ask in there that I think I'd like to write a little fic for, so if you're the anon who sent that, that's why I haven't answered your ask publicly yet. Just sit tight. ;)

Other than that, how are all of you? It's hot here now, which I have been loving. The sun and the heat warms me up in my bones. I love running in this kind of weather, like when it makes your blood feel all hot and tingly. I have been waiting for months for this kind of weather. After my eight hour car ride yesterday to come back home, I managed to sit outside on my lil porch and had a root beer float, which was so nice.

I had such a good time playing with my nieces and nephew when I was back home. They're at that age where they're still obsessed with their Aunt Haley and want to spend all their time with me. I'm so grateful for that, and I love playing with them. They're always so impressed by my soccer moves and when I play the piano, it's so cute. And they always put up such a fuss when I have to leave, and then they all cling to me (all three of them!) and ask if I can sleepover. I don't think anybody makes me feel as loved as they all do. <3

I've been on a concert kick this spring. I saw Nine Inch Nails last week (it was my fourth time seeing them live, and it won't be the last), and I'm seeing Deftones soon as well. I'm also seeing Robert Plant next month, which is probably the closest I will ever get to Led Zeppelin. Who will be next?!

I can't wait to get back to my writing, but it's been really fun being on the road. Next week I will be hiking and climbing some mountains and seeing my little sister who I haven't seen in over a year, and I am really looking forward to that.

I haven't had a whole lot of spare time to respond to messages, but if you're still waiting on a response from me, please know that I will be working on them as soon as I can, and I think about you guys constantly. Tell me what's going on in your life/what your summer plans are! All my love.

[marvelite624]

"The Circle of Strife"

There are some very strange individuals on Tumblr ! Tell me why (because I don't get it) why would someone with ADHD and autism who "doesn't like to socialize"...why would they even BE here..."socializing"...or attempting to anyway.

This fellow, who shall remain nameless, first caught my attention with the statement, "I don't like my face" So I posted something about him being "cute" and asked other Tumblrs to visit and "show him some love". He and his bf are always chatting back and forth between their mutual blogs and I commented that they seemed to have a beautiful relationship, wishing them much happiness in their future together. I sent a couple of musical references I thought they might like, one being "Time In a Bottle" by Jim Croce...told him to share the song with his bf. "Aww", he says, "That's sweet. Thank you." He asked for my opinion on some photos of himself that he'd posted. "Do I look older in this one?", he asked. I told him yes, but only slightly, no biggie.

I never once, EVER made any type of advance toward him of any kind, just wanted to be friendly. Posed a couple more musical references to him and got no response. After several instances of 'no response', I just ceased trying and 'walked away' quietly.

Months passed and out of the blue, with a new name to his blog, "so-n-so" started following you came up on my activity page. I thought ok, let me go say hello. So I did. Sent a picture cause he likes plants and has many in his home.

Days pass with, once again, no response. I messaged one more time with "I guess you would prefer I just went away..." To THIS I get a reply where I am set upon as an impatient villain who "ruined his day, made it much worse", in other words, "who the hell do you think you are, attacking me that way"...and, scratching my head, I was like WTF, you know? All I said was, basically, "since you don't appear to want to talk to me, I'll not bother you any further". For some odd reason, that infuriated him. "I've been going through a rough time and you just made it worse! How dare you!", he says. Why I bothered, I don't know but, we worked through that (or so I'd thought) with an "agree to disagree" kind of deal.

I asked him if he liked to read, he said yes. So, I asked if he would read the new story I'm writing, "The Stealing Light" and let me know his thoughts. He said he'd like that. I sent links to the first 8 parts so he wouldn't have to go hunting..."I'll take a look, No problem." I sent notifications to parts 9 and then 10 but, no links. Remembering that I had been sending the links, I went back and sent those to 9 & 10. I was being courteous, trying to be anyway...

Next thing I know, he's calling me a creep and saying we are not compatible as friends, please go away...HE BLOCKED ME! WTF did I do to deserve this reaction? I don't know and, to be honest, I really don't care! To me it seems that, as soon as the narrative was no longer about him and his interests and problems but, an attempt to garner attention for something I did, it's oh! we aren't compatable....you creep me out, you creepy old guy, you...

I DON'T NEED THIS CRAP! SAVE THE BS FOR SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES THE ABUSE! THAT'S NOT ME!

I'm not here for the express purpose of tooting YOUR horn! Friendship is, by most standards, a give and take relationship. If you are unwilling or maybe in some cases, unable to give...then go away, leave me alone, DO NOT follow me and then vilify me for reaching out.

Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed! I'm sorry that he has "conditions" that make social navigation difficult for him, truly. But, HE followed ME...I thought things were fine, he led me to believe they were...and then, out of nowhere, THIS! He should not be here if this is his idea of being social. GIVE and TAKE, right? You👉Me👉You! At some point it became "The Circle of Strife"! I'm just saying. 🤷‍♂️

[vole-mon-amour]

OTP tag game.

Tagged by @captainjowl. You know for sure than I'm struggling to pick only 10 & fit them in here. But hell, that’s fun, thank you <3

Rules: Choose 10 OTPs BEFORE reading the questions, and then get to answering

1) Harry James Potter & Sirius Orion Black

2) Daniel Le Domas & Grace (Ready or Not 2019)

3) Samuel & Nathan Drake (Uncharted 4)

4) Corvo Attano & The Outsider (+probably Emily Kaldwin; Dishonored series)

5) Steve Grant Rogers & Bucky Buchanan Barnes (Marvel)

6) Tony Edward Stark & Peter Benjamin Parker (Marvel)

7) Handsome Jack & Rhys (Borderlands video game series)

8) Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert (TVD Books & a tv show)

9) Batman & Joker (in every universe, really)

10) Adam Jensen x Francis Pritchard (Deus Ex video game series)

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

I believe it didn't hit me before Spider-Man: Homecoming. Civil War was about Steve & Bucky for me, but when I saw that growing up Peter with Tony, their dynamic, chemistry. Tom & Robert are really just like that.

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Lmao. I've read like 50% of the tag on AO3, I wrote my own & started a few wips on them. They are amazing. Plus, with that shitty canon? We didn't get enough of them & they deserved better, so it's only logical to save yourself with fanfiction.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

I was living with The Outsider icon on my twitter & tumblr. That one is still my Google profile picture I believe. Don't remember about having an icon with the two of them. Also had The Outsider as my lockscreen on my smartphone for a while.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Funny how it fits canon, lmao. Rhys literally tried to erase Jack's AI in TFTBL, so I guess another day on Pandora, nothing new. They torture each other, they kiss each other, they kill other people in the process. It'll be fiiine.

5. Why is 1 so important?

I love them since the first time I met them, which was much more than 10 years ago, I don't even remember when. At some point they were the reason I was waking up & forcing myself to eat just to read more fanfiction & feel something. Even if I was drowning in pain (I was extremely depressed), it was still something. I read every fic I could find at that time. The depression that Harry went through, all these feelings, his love for Sirius. I was living through it, I could relate.

I'm currently drowning in these two again, though in a much healthier & happier state. I see their flaws & I know as much as I can. I see them differently as an adult. They saved me, they keep being my number one, I still consider making a tattoo of Padfoot/Sirius or of both Harry & Sirius together. I have many headcanons, ideas, I write fics about them. They are everything, you see? They were my choice when there was nothing, no one. They are HOME.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Both. There goes the dynamic of Jack & Rhys: torture, fighting, flirting, a lot of trauma. I'd definitely say that they are wild and comical sometimes, but they are definitely serious. With the Asylum, the mental health issues. There is so much more to it, the complexity of their relationship. The struggle of loving who you probably shouldn't (but hey, when does it work like that?) Thinking about Tettlate's Batman, about Batman: Europa & how Joker was: "You must be crazy, putting me in charge of the plan, letting me decide. Okay, well..."

Nah, they are entertaining, but this is a serious ship.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Are you kidding me? They are all the definition of CHEMISTRY. I'd say 5, but then go 2, 6, 7, 8. Come on. I'm not choosing. Most of they are WILD.

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

The fandom itself? Idk. I found one of my favourite artists through this fandom. If it's about the characters themselves, I played the first game with the DLC from start to beginning, looking around every corner. Spent more than 60 hours in there. Watched a second game (my laptop can't run the game) and the DLC (obviously), since Francis is in the DLC & not in the main game. I have a tag for them on tumblr, I read fanfiction, I tried to write my own. I still follow Elias & want a third game. Elias liked my tweets about Adam and Jensen being an actual couple a few times. I'd say I interacted with all of this a lot? Still do, actually.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

5. Best friends since childhood, fought & died for each other, still found their way back to each other. "It would break your Captain's heart, to see what they did to you." That only the MENTION of Steve can pull Bucky out of this brain washing(ed?) state, distract him in the middle of a fight. When Steve died in the comics because of Sharon & Tony sent Natasha to take Steve's shield from Bucky because even Tony knew how much Steve means to Bucky. And Bucky was like: "Oh, I see what he did. Not happening!" Fought Natasha (that is his ex in the comics) & kept going for Steve's sake.

Well, you see the point, I can go on and on.

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

They're not actually canon so none? They had a few fights: In Civil war (the comics), in Homecoming (the movie).  That only means that they’ve got history & love each other.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

As fierce Grace is, they wouldn't stand a chance against Damon & Elena. Those two had to deal with worst thing than brainless stupid zombies. On the other hand, if there were no alive humans to drink their blood... It's either an animal diet that Damon hates so much or I don't know? Still, they're faster & more powerful. Their bodies have advantage of healing the wounds as well.

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

From some people, yeah. Don't tell Athena, don't tell Vaughn, don't tell Fiona. Though Rhys wasn't very subtle about it & Jack just doesn't give a fuck. You will probably end up dead if you disagree or bore him, or if you're useless.

"I can take you to the top, but you gotta know where the top is" & Rhys doesn't tell anybody until Jack makes him the President for like whole 20 minutes lol.

Fiona & Sasha: "This can't be happening." Sure it can, darling.

14. Is 4 still together?

I have a headcanon about The Outsider finding Emily & Corvo after Billie frees him from the Void. He doesn't have anybody & they are his only friends aside from a potential friendship with Billie. And if we don't consider TOTO dlc, they definitely are! The Outsider visits them both when they sleep & takes them to the void sometimes. How could he not?

15. Is 10 canon?

Not really but also sort of? Let's say that they really care about each other in canon, despite Adam pushing Francis away because of his trauma & fear that Megan caused him. :/

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Can you imagine wizards fighting extremely powerful vampires? Superheroes with venom in their bodies that make them super strong with people that made a deal with the Devil himself (hi Le Bail)? 5000 y.o. God and his lover that share his powers and an augmented human protecting his tired IT guy? Combine mental health issues to that, Jack and Rhys with Batman and Joker. Corvo & The Outsider would probably slay them all as Corvo and Emily did in both games with entire islands, though it will still be a slaughter anyway.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

All the fucking time, lmaooo. I’m not even talking about it.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

I feel like I already did with Steve & Bucky after many Marvel movies (we're not even mentioning Endg*me, I fucking died & was dead for full 4-5 months).

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

I used to do that a few years back, but not anymore. There is not much content since the trilogy is finished.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

1 already went through it & fandom lives, so I'd say maybe 7? Rhys will find a way to bring Jack back & they are both so wild. It’s what happened in canon anyway. Jack kidnapped Lilith & forced her to do Angel's job, so I'd like to see that witch try at first. Jack is an immortal bastard. <3

Now that I think about it, Corvo would also deal with her in seconds as she waits to curse them.

As a conclusion: no one breaks up forever, we're killing the witch.

I tag: @ianmillkovichgallagher​ & @aledbr​

Whoever else wants to join the game, please do.