#it's been a year plus in the making too.
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๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, sat an abandoned meat packaging plant. the factory has been shut down for many years, the meat hooks left to rust. the factory was condemned to be torn down in two years. the building will become a pile of rubble, all history inside would be lost to the passage of time. it was a playground for those who were up to no good.
the basement of the plant was dark, illuminated by a faint glow of candlelight. crimson puddles littered the floor, amongst the candles, sigils painted in blood and disregarded limbs. a large hook sat dormant, in front of what appeared to be damien taylor. his usually tense muscles, slicked back as he held a trembling blonde woman in arms.
"๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ, ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ, ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ- ๐ช ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ." the woman pleaded, hands desperately gripping onto the grimey shirt damien wore.
"๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐
. ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐." the man responded. he raised a hand to brush back a piece of her hair, soaked by her own tears.
the speech pattern was not his own. damien's body was invaded by a being that belonged to the hells, akuji. the room smelled of rotting flesh and was as hot as standing in direct hellfire.
"๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
, ๐๐๐. ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐."
with a quick swing of his arms, he hooked the body upon the rusty hook. the hook piercing through their stomach in one quick motion. the woman cried out in agony, her eyes full of tears squeezed together as they hoped for a better end to her story.
the vessel's lips parted as if they were going to say something, only to be interrupted. they had a witness. not just any witness, damien's boy-toy.
"๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐?" (you like to watch, mister lestat de lioncourt?)
he turned on his heel, facing the stairway to the upper level. the vampire stood in all of his glory, looking upon the bloodbath with new eyes.
"๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, '๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐'?'"
the door behind lestat slammed shut with an ear shattering boom. the vampire was now trapped with the creature who possessed his lover.
#014.ย ย |ย ย ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ย ย โงย plotted starter#AKUJI'S FIRST APPEARANCE; HOW WE FEELIN'?#it's been a year plus in the making too.#lestat ain't got a clue in the world who he's about to face#DAMIEN WARNED HIM!!!!#desiredprince#long post
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this blog is 11 years old now ๐
I drew the siblings ever to celebrate as usual
#loz#wind waker#legend of zelda#toon link#aryll#I wasn't gonna draw anything but then I sketched link real quick and I was like okay wait i can do this#and then my brother dragged me outside โ but i still got it done today!#the anniversary is today. tumblr sent me a notification like ravio is 11 years old now! ravio the character is actually 11 years old.#albw released in2013. i received two reminders this morning. ravio drawing soon maybe. coming this year definitely. maybe#arylls like big brother use a damn fork#<- that was the tag when I first started drawing them in 2018#also i noticed when I draw aryll i always draw her in her blue dress so i decided to change it up. i only play 2nd playthroughs of wind wak#r because fun fact: i hate link's green tunic and hat. i finished a first playthrough years ago with a finished nintendo gallery#and then when i want to start a new playthrough i fight ganondorf again go through the credits cry and then BAM new game no-plus#i miss link's green tunic now though. its been so long. im so sick of champions garb...............idk the green is iconic idk#im not a huge fan of it but i think his base form should be green again. with the hat. let him look doofy as a default again#he was green in echoes of wisdom but i need them to follow through after again.#i didnt finish echoes of wisdom yet (SOON IM TRYING IM STUCK I NTHE SONIC ADVENTURE 1 WEB HELP) but what I saw of Link there?#he was kinda terrifying lmao its always funny to see that link is so extremely competent because i am not. that boy efficient#im stuck in the sa1 web because everyone is always talking about how good it is. so i played the pc port and. its apparently awful idk it i#thats just what sa1 outside of emerald coast plays to me tbh. but the dreamcast is supposed to be better. and i own a dreamcast. free me#i played on gamecube too. 12 years ago. it made me sick. maybe one day i'll install some mods that make it play better#why does it feel like the month is over when its only january 6#i played sa1 as a kid btw. just emerald coast tho. ALSO I DIDNT BUY A DREAMCAST FOR THIS I ALREADY OWNED ONE
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Do you have anything you've been thinking on but just haven't made a post about it yet? Also I'm really enjoying your fic!
I have a few things but it's likely mostly headcanons that I consider somewhat disconnected from my analysis.
Curly's parents had him old, only child, died shortly after he graduated and got the pony express position. It was the last big thing they saw him do which is a reason he stayed for so long.
Doesn't admit how much their death affected him
Jimmy has a largish family. One of the cases of too many kids to keep tract of, parent never really noticed any of them nor their behaviors
Anya lived in a lot of houses growing up, regular supportive family that just struggled to support themselves.
Became a nurse largely to avoid their financial struggles but mostly because she felt too many people weren't being cared for and advocated for in the world properly
Swansea likes high top sneakers most. Likes how snug they fit and how they shield his ankles at work
Curly has a bit of a caffeine problem since he canโt sleep. Can occasionally be found wandering the ship at โnightโ when he had some too late or just couldnโt sleep.
Daisuke knows a little about a lot of things. Starts conversations with โdid you knowโ a lot but please donโt ask him deeper questions
Curly has known Jimmy longer but has worked with Anya and Swansea longer, met them during his middle years, met Jimmy shortly before college.
Swansea rents a house, Daisukeโs family lives in a big nice apartment, Curly has a condo, Anya live in a small one bedroom apartment and Jimmy has a studio.
Curly's home is very disconcerting. It's too normal to a like uncanny degree.
Anya is ambidextrous but prefers her left.
Anya and Curly are both not native English speakers so occasionally they forget words and bond over the mutual mocking they get from the rest of the crew. Daisuke knows some Japanese but is still learning, never picked it up as a kid
Only Swansea and Daisuke know how to drive, Earth in my mind is very post capitalist so only older people and like the extremely wealthy can afford cars.
It's also like walkable just due to how many businesses are in your face. Probably strict living vs shopping districts
I have more but the way that I headcanon about them is like too long.
#im still trying to figure out voiceclaims like I think Curly is the most generic lost his accent his accent like swedish or eastern european#guy cause he was raised by old immigrants and anya never had a thick accent but she talks with the cadence of one shes like slavic and east#asian to me. Swansea at most is like irish or italian but just an old white guy and Jimmy just has a bit of olivish skin like hes just whit#i think people should make them all weirder too like I think Anya loves showing the fucked up diagrams and pictures from premed and everyon#has to nod and act super supportive and not horrified cause Anya thats a guy with his leg broken in seven places it is not facinating to th#rest of the crew but she loves it cause fyi to go to med school you have to pass pre-med she has a BA if not a BS in nursing or bio atleast#Swansea randomly talks about shoe politics and its like hes talking about regular politics. Curly doesn't sleep walk but he pauses at weird#times or places and will just stand leave and not tell anyone anything cause even he forgot#Jimmy is himself ig and Daisuke always has some media drama they are too old for to get invested in and teach them about youth slang Anya#kinda gets it#also i think people make Curly and Jimmy way too old? Like In my mind Curly is sorta his late 20s- early 30s like he's in the settling#part of his life hence the fear about settling here anya is likel mid 20s to 30 cause she at least finished college we dont have the years#of how long shes been working and maybe Jimmy is just a bit older and feels weird envy about missing that introspection Curly is having.#Daisuke is like 19-22 in my mind like hes an adult but a kid by their standards#like Curly was recruited and its much easier to get younger people plus getting someone young is a good investment like they either got him#right after school and its like all he's known and it scares him#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#ask#anon
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that one "do you think we're friends in every universe" Dan and Tray post I made AGES ago but space dogified.. rubs my hands together like a cartoon villain
The drawing ๐๐ based on this one painting my friend sent me AGES ago to draw for a different au (mermal ๐๐) but uh. IT GOT TURNED INTO A TDM THING-
also the original post I made
#DanTDM#DanTDM au#dr trayaurus#minecraft story mode#mcsm#Mcsm au#Mcsm: space dog#Unsure if I should tag jack since he's not like technically here but like that's his trident above them ๐#TH. THE ORIGINAL POST IS A YEAR OLD..#NO FUCKING WAY????#NAW..#I need to remake it I could do it so much better omg#With more fandoms too#I wanted to do tomodatchi life in it too but my wrists were killing me ๐ญ๐ญ#ANYWAY. au ramble time ๐#So. Drawing context! โ๏ธ Uhhhh SO BASICALLY#Trayaurus is very deep in denial about Dan#Sure. He found the goggles. He hasn't found Dan in six years of searching. Sure all signs point to him being dead#HOWEVER he's been searching for so long HES GOTTA FIND HIM SOON. RIGHT???? (no-)#So when he DOES get solid evidence that Dan was murdered he uh. Loses the plot a little#After having a massive argument with jack and Nurm over it he flees town and heads straight for the manor#And attempts to make the machine he used to revive grim again. But things don't go to plan#Because he's so frazzled and rushed it comes out quite sloppy. Plus he needs bones. And while Dan's bones ARE in the manor#So are a lot of zombie bones. He accidentally creates some freakish mindless bloodthirsty zombie that looks an awful lot like Dan...#Ofc it tried to kill him. But Tray is just so desperate to see Dan again that he ignores this and welcomes the creature with open arms#Before it could hurt him jack finds him and kills it though so he's good!! Tray is furious about this until Jack talks some sense into him#So yah ๐
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I headcanon that at first Ray is adamantly against the use of nicknames and pet names for himself because he thinks it's silly.
"My name is Ray. It's literally three letters and one syllable long. Just call me Ray."
But Emma can't let that stand. She has "sunshine" and "Em," Norman has "Nor," "Norm," and "Boss."
So her proposed solution is for Ray to change his name so that "Ray" can be a nickname and show of affection. Ray balks at the suggestions she litters throughout their conversations, addressing him as Raymond, Rayner, even Raybert at one point.
Norman is more deft in his timing so the first time he drops a "Raymond" during one of their chess matches he ends up on the receiving end of Ray channeling Isabella with this look
He does eventually come around to them calling him Sunray.
#โAhโ to be greeted every morning by the two loves and lights of my life ๐งก๐คโ / โIt's too early for thisโ Norman.โ#โRaymond works the best because then we all have that second-syllable 'm' sound going onโ#but Rayner has your name plus all of our initialsโฆโ / โStop.โ#literally the largest jump of a tangent from Ruby's ๐๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐บ ๐๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ด ๐๐ข๐บ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฅ edit kdfjgdkj#He is ๐ด๐ฐ easy to rile up#but tbf he makes it easyโ when it comes to them ๐งก๐ค๐ค#Idk if he'd even make an โI'm leaving youโ joke at Norman's attempt after everything they've been through at this point#like m'guy you were literally willing to die for them for six years before you even hit double digits#they know your ass isn't going anywhere dkjfhjk#peak comedy is after not saying anything about it for years is this being the way Norman figures out the Isabella-Ray bio connection#The Promised Neverland#TPN#Post-Canon#Norrayemma#Noremray#Emma#Norman#Ray#FSS Chatter#FSS Shenanigans#TPN S1#TPN S1e08#Escape Arc#Emma will also sometimes call him Sleepy Cyclops but that's meant to be more of a sweet callback
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So i was thinking about your Wolfstar Marvel AU again (it should pay rent with how much it's spinning around my head) and like,,,, Sirius not having any kind of closure about Remus,,, he doesn't know what happened to him, they never found a body or any traces of him and then he was pronounced dead and Sirius just. Doesn't know. He doesn't even know why they took Remus in the first place. And he probably feels guilty about it too (bc ofc he would!!!). Just, the lack of closure of it all, the big question mark haunting him, up until 70+ years later when he's face-to-face with Remus again (I'm loving it)
Hi hi hi!!!! ๐๐๐ Thank you so much for the ask! I am so happy we both find it consuming haha and I agree. AU needs to start paying me hourly wages for just how much it keeps me up and wondering at night. I would be in tears and at the end of my wit, if I had to do just part of this research in school (I was not into history or any literature for school, and that's putting it mildly.) and now I do this willingly lol.
You know one of those, "I'm so glad you asked"- *7 hour long vm* memes? I fear this will end up like that. Bear with me.
Before we get into that, I'll clear up some background? So Remus was first taken along with a lot of their troop (ambush?), and they were partially injected (plot reasons plot reasons!! I feel like you can guess why!!) and the Sirius and co rescued them etc etc. And then Remus was targeted specifically.
So before the permafrost, I feel the situation was very bad for Sirius. For one, he would have agreed to the Serum in the first place because Remus was in captivity (also for the war effort, of course, but to Sirius, at that point there really was no room for question which may have been there otherwise), and then he got Remus back. Just to lose him again.
And then, to the Military and almost everyone else, Hope and Lyall Lupin lost a son, but Sirius Black lost a fellow soldier. He lost a comrade. Sure, they were friends, so him being vengeful is believable, to an extent. And no one really gets the blank look in his eyes, after.
I believe there was a quote that went like, "Should you lose a spouse/partner, there is a shared understanding of the relationship, but when you lose a friend, there's no tangible evidence, no widely acknowledged way to mourn."
Except, for Sirius, he did lose his partner, love of his life and dearest friend of so many years. And no one understands. Maybe James and Lily know, but it is the 40s. Realistically, they are quiet about it at best. For him it is both, and all the more painful. And he doesn't get exactly why Remus was targeted either. Remus was at an integral position in the OSS, unusual for his age, recruited at the very beginning, one of the sharpest minds, so it could have been that. And god, he was cold blooded when he got to fighting. But of course, he cannot shake the feeling that it was because of him.
So, in that time, the days he spent looking for Remus with James and Lily, (which really wasn't much, they would not have been allowed to!) he is partially cynical. Not to the point of self-blaming but enough to self-destruct. James tries to get him out of it, but Lily grits her teeth. She doesn't say much, because she understands, I believe, how much at that point he just wants it to end.
*BAM* permafrost.
After he gains consciousness, he would have blanked out for a while, because what even is this? But he doesn't, because after the first few excruciating minutes, when the blood is pounding in his chest, looking at every flash of light, every building and car that look unnatural, really, the first thing he processes is Moody telling him that the War is over. Good, at least something went well, he thinks.
They tell him many soldiers were rescued, because that's the first thing he asks. After it sinks in, he wants to hope, and maybe he does. Because this is real, he can see it. As outlandish as it is, he is in the future. If this can be real, how foolish would it be to hope that maybe Remus made it too? He would be old, and he would have lived his life. Maybe with someone else, and that's okay. If he gets to see him one more time, Jesus, it's okay.
They tell him what happened with HYDRA and his family. They tell him about James Potter and how he revolutionized weapons, they tell him about Lily Potter, who later went on to join the NSA. God, he gets fucking giddy hearing all of that, because it worked out. For someone, it did. For James and Lily, it did. He wants to meet Harry.
And he starts to have a nagging thought, because with how they speak of and to him, maybe they would have mentioned his known childhood friend. And Remus was known to his own credit.
So he asks, slowly about one Remus Lupin?
And lo and behold. They know of him of course, of course, he was Captain America's best friend. But nothing was known of him post war.
He tries to hold his face and nods, but Moody gives him a strange look. Tells him that he'll look into it for him. He tamps it down, though, there is no point in a wishful fantasy. He would have begged Moody if required, but there really is no point. And he doesn't think he can open his mouth without saying something incriminating.
Moody offers him the initiative, of course, but they tell him to take a breath, see the world, find himself first. And he does, he takes a few days. But then he gets time to think about it, to mull things over, to reevaluate his last choices. When he is trying to ease into the new world, he is busy, things are overwhelming. But once he gets home, he spirals. He remembers how panicky he had been during the first rescue mission. He had been desperate. And what if that clued them in? There were others in the OSS. So why just Remus?
It had to be him.
So he throws himself into missions, trains hard, exhausts himself so doesn't have to think. He does what he's always been doing, he helps SHIELD and doesn't question much, because he is still processing. Some things stick out but one can only handle so much, yeah? Besides, James and Lily were the co-founders.
He finds out. Well. Many things about his past and it's just so much (I'll stop or this itself will spiral to 3k.)
I feel he's quite mercurial at times in these days. Unsettled, but he keeps going. He drinks sometimes, gets shit faced. Those days are increasing, really.
Then he meets Elena.
And there is something striking about her. Such a young girl, and he can see it in her eyes that she has seen a lot. Too much. He sees himself in her. And he is protective. He is maybe a little taken aback. Because she seems so much... like an old soul.
And Elena is drawn to him too. She opens up, slowly, slowly, which she doesn't normally. But he is fiery. Like her. And they mostly have the same stances. She doesn't speak of her childhood, and so he doesn't ask. She does mention she had a dad, and though seemingly not for long, she remembers her name from him.
She seeks out his company and it soothes something in him. I feel he's a little more settled? With time? I mean it's hard to pity yourself when there is someone dragging you out to bowl and join soccer clubs, when that someone is a loner too. Even though thinking of Remus' hurts a little more each day, because he feels that Elena and Remus would get along so well. Man she even fights like him.
So when he sees Remus again, it is whiplash of the worst kind. Remus is just there. Because it is Remus and it is not, and he is standing there just staring because this Remus even fights the same. And he sees Elena standing frozen there, and it suddenly hits him that she looks... like Remus.
Except for her eyes and it is like he is watching everything from afar. All he can do try to hold Remus back. Until Neville flies them away.
Because what has his life come to?
Elena is not responding. She is not even looking at him. And Sirius is thinking a thousand miles an hour. I think he'd find out everything he can about whoever this Winter Soldier is.
Before they finally bring R in for questioning I feel S would be overcome with guilty and longing and a lot of painful confusion, really.
And mostly, Sirius is guilt ridden. Remus was in there, with them doing who knows what to him, for 70 years? He never deserved that. Sirius was outwardly rebellious. It was his family helping fund HYDRA. And then there's Elena. Is Elena Remus'? Because how in the world did Remus manage to have a kid while he was trapped in a facility?
There is something really cool about her name. if you look closely.
Outside of his blackouts, Remus solely spoke Russian to everyone around him for 70 years right? So it seems logical that's what he'd speak to elena in that environment, mind controlled half the time etc, before they were separated (she was like. 7) and he'd find it a little difficult to slip into English again, or that's what Elena thinks. So when he demands to meet her first, she storms in, defensive stance (Sirius is standing right outside by the way) but Remus just blinks. Because they said it was Elena Chernova. But it's not. It's Helena Black.
And Sirius just. Dies a little.
Basically. He is spiralling.
So is this, so I'll stop here.
Based on this post. + snippet.
#by the way i got more of the cursed visions while writing this#thank you for this#I will write essays and spoil the entire thing anytime anyday you want me to#this has taken up permanent residence#remus is not trans because well I'm not sure how that work out in the military#he is pregnant because. super serum#come on if they can age only about 8 years instead of 70 plus have super human strength this could happen too#enhancing humans and everything#right?#this is terribly self indulgent i know. i feel like this will make sense to. very few people. but you liked it.#thats the plot reason by the way#oh and elena has those anti aging genes too hence why she's twenty#i believe she would have been born in 1945? 46?#remus' pov would be so fucking tragic in this au#i have his story roughly written out and i think i would end up crying if i went to properly write it down#it will require someone braver than me#also it is easier for me to get into sirius' head so the entire thing would be from his pov#i would love to hear your thoughts#Wolfstar Marvel AU#breed that old man#answered asks#aeligsido#๐
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i like to think, as a hc or a theory (because itโs definitely possible), that charles has had a few kisses throughout his high school years, sure, but past that heโs undeniably a virginโ well, kind of undeniably, because I think heโd deny it if found out by trying to use technicalities (โI mean that one time there was friction involvedโโ), but to any reasonable person, and by occult standards (see: edwin being a virgin sacrifice), heโs a virgin.
and i think this because it seems like him to fib about his level of experience (like he did when agreeing heโd sleep with crystal, matching her level of casualness about it) when in the presence of people who do, actually, have experience, in the hopes he doesnโt come off as lame or childish. given what we know about his โfriendsโ when he was alive, they seem like the type to have teased or bullied boysโ especially in their own circleโ who havenโt gotten laid, or at the very least wouldโve thought less of someone for it. and given what we know about charles, i donโt think heโd be nearly as sleazy and inconsiderate as his group when it comes to landing girls with the primary intention of adding to his body count. and considering heโs only supposed to be 16? and has never mentioned any significant relationships pre-death? it just seems unlikely.
all that to sayโ I can see him maintaining that facade of experience and confidence literally right up until the moment it matters, and in the heat of the moment getting nervous and embarrassed because โuhhh. so I may have been exaggerating some things.โ though heโs not totally clueless either, I think itโd take a bit of a soft heart to heart moment for him to be reassured enough that he wonโt fuck up and hurt his partner to go any further.
anyway not sure what the relevance of this is, but itโs something.
#rambling#charles#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#that means almost definitely crystal is the only one whoโs not a virgin. I donโt think I need to explain why#though that wouldnโt make intimacy particularly easier for her I donโt think. considering most of her experiences have probably been with#her Literal Demon Abusive Stalker Boyfriend#but I digress#trying not to put too much weight on ages when it comes to these kinds of headcanons/theories because. I mean. theyโre not treated like#16 year olds by the plot nor do they look like 16 year olds at all and it really seems like theyโre just sorta#pushing that fact off to the side and pretending itโs not there which frankly is understandable (but I do think since they already aged up#the characters from the comic they shouldโve just went a couple years higher and everything would make more senseโ just make them all 18#instead then crystal and niko renting rooms on their own would be feasible and edwin could still have been a student at the boarding school#when he died; just wouldโve been in his last year instead of whatever he was supposed to be canonically)#buuuut that being said I think that as a teenager in general itโs far more common than not to be a virgin simply due to the fact that#you literally have not had much time to get that experience yet. among other reasons#so. incredibly normal. but charlesโ friends were the type to pick someone apart for anything less than masculine#including proving oneโs masculinity via getting a woman under you#sad. like I said though itโs not like he has no game or anything; he clearly had some experience in making out and whatever based on#the scene with crystal. plus he was confident enough in his abilities to take initiative. but beyond that. yeah#I think this is the more interesting way to go too when it comes to this topic. in addition to being in character
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I sure hope itโs more than ten years because you definitely are not eleven
#Ok but this got me thinking about this more.#but thatโs way too much stuff to type out right now#but I decided it was probably around 15 years#so Lucina came back at 16 and is now 18#Laurent is probably around 20 now#because of time shenanigans#sully probably survived most of that time because Kjelle was old enough to be trained by her#plus she might have been worried about age slowing her down and if sheโs mid ish 20s now sheโd be early 40s then which makes some sense#Cynthia definitely looks around 15#anyway#fire emblem awakening#Lucina
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gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow
#life update if anyone gaf we're now at the point where i know i'm getting the adhd diagnosis and yet i STILL HAVE TO WAIT#like she just isnt sure if it's adhd or add (its norway theyre not gonna update the terms any time soon just roll with it)#and im just like. girl i don't give a fuck#its been so many years i cant do this anymore#we've talked to my fucking kindergarten teachers like ๐ญ they've investigated my entire life atp#to make sure i did in fact have all these issues from birth#because my word and my mum's word just isn't good enough i guess#like lets rely on the selective memories of random ass people ive encountered growing up this is ASININE#anyway my godmother had a 4h consultation the other day and got diagnosed on the spot#so now my mum is mad at her LMFAO#cause my mum's like. that bitch doesn't even have adhd. shes fine.#which i feel like is probably wrong but i agree with the sentiment#where is the deep dive investigation into her wholeass existence ๐ญ#its cause she got to go private but they refuse to refer me to a private specialist so i have to keep going publuc#public#and if i go private on my own its too expensive plus the waitlist is years long#so. whatever. i guess.#man im so tired.#i will never ever ever forgive my psychiatrist from when i was 15 who said i probably had adhd but because i did ok in school its fine#and they wouldnt set the diagnosis#because the fact that i have papers from when i was 15 saying i don't have it is what's making this all so difficult#even though if you read all the papers it says i hit on EVERY SINGLE POINT#which is why the One Psych who listened to me is absolutely fuming losing her mind cause she can't understand why any of this happened#man i hate my fucking life lol
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Anybody else get any formal requests for collaboration from a supposed concept artist on their old FF.net account recently?
I just got one from someone named Gloria Jenkins, and a quick google tells me that there is a Gloria Jenkins who's been a storyboard artist for many children's cartoons starting in the 90's, and there's a Gloria Jenkins with an Artstation account, who may or may not be the same person, but the art in that account is much more consistent with the "concept artist and fan of high fantasy literature" the person from this message claims to be. (I also can't imagine a veteran children's cartoon artist wanting to collab with me, considering the kinds of stuff I write, unless they have a more diverse portfolio that it would seem lol.)
Anyway, I've been on the internet far too long to not be suspicious of something like this. This Gloria person is messaging from an empty account made a couple of days ago, and there's a few possible innocent explanations for that, but the scam possibility is also high.
#to say nothing of the fact that I've never been a lucky person and I'm a total nobody so the whole thing seems too good to be true#I mean for crying out loud this person claims to have been 'very impressed' by my work and like...dude this is FF.net#we're talking about an old ass account that is filled primarily with Sherlock fic I wrote as a teenager#and the only stuff posted there from this decade is some Baldur's Gate 1&2 stuff and an errant Star Trek fic#that I put there for the sake of old school folks in those old school fandoms#(plus one fic I've been working on for ages and it would've been a dick move to only update it on AO3 after making people wait years)#anyway point is I find it hard to believe that all that old shit is impressive enough to earn me a collab request from a pro#I'd love to be proven wrong but safety first kids
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got asked to draw two of my old wc rp ocs :-) left is cicadahop, right is scallopstar
#my art#wc oc#squints. its been a dogs age since ive posted anything wc oc related#oc#BUT YA!!!! these guys are old. i think i made cicadahop 2018-2019 but i could be wrong/i have no way of checking haha#and scallopstar was made 2020.? i think? both are vaaastly different#if i were to play them today i think id keep a lot of things the same for cicada. shes just a silly girl who wants to make friends and#and be kind. as for scallopstar. i think id change a lot#one reason: ive gotten a lot better (I HOPE) with storytelling now that ive been playing dnd for a well over a year#and since i also run two different campaigns. two: i have more experience writing a character with an arc that turns them into a villain#three: i was really going through it at the time so. erm. LMFAO plus i was like 16 so ANDKJFGNJDFHBGJH#but yeah!!! kinda crazy looking at my old art and seeing how much ive improved#also a weird feeling to draw them again but not a Bad weird feeling. been doing a lot of reminiscing#thank god we can copy/paste tags bc if i had to rewrite this all id be so sad HAHA#the crop was weird so i wanted to fix it before it was too late lol#since these 2 are ocs im not gonna indicate this was a request the same way i will with the other requests lol
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be real honest. which member of your favorite group whose personality is actually similar to you? are they your bias or not?
#ann.txt#ive been curious about this#esp to atinys but i think people from other fandoms might see and want to share too#in my case my personality is the closest to mingi hongjoong and scoups (with less $$$)#mingi mainly cus of his thinking framework and bluntness constantly talking abt world economy whatsoever ๐#his โcost-benefitโ mindset is strong and its shown? but it doesnt make him cold or careless abt his friends#and you know what else is strong in him? his simpness for yunho. boi doesnt have anything bad abt him he has his name in his head 25/8#i think if i have my own โyunhoโ person i'll have nothing in my head but them too#i think if hes just a clerical worker or avg uni student hed do a good job in business or any job/study thats data driven?#hongjoong and coups. assertive yet open to feedbacks. they treat it as opportunity to improve and reach out wider audiences#while attentive to their members their works the top priority. if they can work then why sleep#be the $$$ daddies ๐ค#just in real life yet tricky in games ๐คช but sometimes im also a fool like mingi ๐คช๐คช๐คช#and nope theyre not my bias but its amazing to know you gentlemen ๐ค#PLUS THEYRE ALL BIG BABIES MAXIMUM OF 5 YEARS OLD#I AM 5
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thanks for the tags @dwarvenagenda & @pricegouge !! ๐
it was fun to check my stats for this year :3
funny to compare how i started my year vs how its ending (fandoms im writing for, fic length range, themes and tropes iโm preferring, etc).
iโve found that although ive maybe written less and had less interaction in general from readers this year iโve truly found some amazing people that i consider good friends on here now :โ) and i wouldnโt swap that for anything!!
blank copy below and npt: @pricetagged @ohlawdthebirds @sentientcave @syoddeye @gloard @wraithdance @buttdumplin @luvrodite @mikichko @lewistoferrari @disgustingtwitches
#very ironic that my top fic is inspired by the same tv show that my top spotify song came from too#like it truly took over my year apparentlyโฆ#iโm trying not to push myself to suddenly go on a writing rampage bc i really wanted to hit 200k by the end of the year BUT#itโs meant to be fun not about hitting goals so this is teaching me restraint lmao#i know iโll have written a lil bit more thatโs just not posted on ao3 but not enough to make a difference#plus i had suuuuper bad writers block and a major confidence crisis mid year and i havenโt had that in a while before#i think having a community helps and is lovely in a way iโve never experienced but it also made me feel like i had to compete (totally my#own feelings and anxiety at play. not at all anyone else putting on that pressure)#but itโs been a learning curve for me to try and just enjoy it and not focus on stats and churning out content - previously iโve only ever#interacted with people through comments so i had quite a skewed view of โif i want to talk to people about this then i have to create to#get their attention.โ which isnโt true or healthy! but i know that now and im going my best not to fall back into bad habits#tag games#tag game
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YOU
is a cool dude :D
Me!!?
#thanks Wakey ๐ฅบ๐#been going through a bit of a funk for a while#itโs sorta just been getting worse lately:(#which makes the fact that I gotta get through a new term of classes even more difficult ๐ญ#i havenโt really been active on tumblr lately either#hopefully Iโll be able to come back eventually#I think Iโm just at a weird crossroads with my life right now#itโs hard to figure out what to do#plus dysphoria has been throwing some tough punches lately#I want nothing more than to get top surgery at last#itโs been 8 years since I first started wanting top surgery and I still have not been able to get it#and I have absolutely no idea how to navigate the medical field either#itโs all so overwhelming along with school tooโฆ#but idk.. i guess life goes on#I have no idea how Iโll keep going onโฆ#but I just gotta keep trying ig#I wish everyone well- and I am so sorry for accidentally putting this all in tags#I swear it was not intentional- I just kinda started talking more than i expected to#and then it was too late to go back..
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Every time I see a Nibelheim argument that boils down to "Sephiroth did the thing because his ego/pride was shattered" I want to rip my hair out.
#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#crisis core#sephcanons#sephiroth#nibelheim incident#Like okay that is a teeny tiny component but it was NOT the overriding factor#It's so much more than that#Sephiroth doesn't go insane because he thought he was better than everyone else and the truth called that into question#He goes insane because he correctly discerns that he was a lab-grown inhuman soldier being exploited by the company that raised him#AND it makes sense for him to go to Jenova--he feels he was wronged and the thing with the Cetra only adds to that.#Jenova is the only person that can understand him and the only thing he ever wanted#Plus you know he was extremely mentally unwell#so there's that too#Lost pride is only a fraction of Sephiroth's motivations#It's a matter of dehumanization and years of trauma finally taking their toll#He is delusional about his place in the world because it's all he has to cling to#the alternative is to die#Sephiroth has been taught survival all his life and THIS is how his mind rationalizes he will survive
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Didn't expect the year of our Lord 2025 to get into Alan Rickman, but I guess that's how it goes sometimes
The year of getting into an actor that so far I have only seen portray maladjusted men
#mctalks#alan rickman#really only had watched Die Hard and the HP movies the series being just something i watched as a kid and Die Hard being more recent as of#like the 2020s but rewatched Die Hard last year and my interest of Hans spiked cause to be real 80s-90s Alan could get it respectfully#also Alan is a good actor actually so yeah gonna check out more of his movies#watched Quigley Down Under like last Tuesday and The January Man last night#beating the shit out of elliott marston as a way to fix him and giving a lil smooch and a decent meal to Ed the Painter#next goal is to watch the robin hood movie cause his looks do be serving in the promo images i see#uhh ranking of those alan movies i guess will come later but so far from best to worst#die hard quigley down under and the january man#not ranking the hp movies cause one its been like maybe about 6 or 7 years since ive seen them so idk how well they aged#i mean i know im not gonna like them purely for reasons associated with jk rowling obviously#im sure ill like Alans performace tho if or when i do watch them again#that and also the main three in the hp movies too thank god they came out normal#also did not realize how much of a culture alan had on tumblr like it might be the only time ive seen an actor tagged in the work#that they do? like other fandoms for movies and tv shows i dont see the actors tagged in as much but Alan hes literally tagged#with everything which idk if that stems from his impact on harry potter or what#i mean thats likely what it is plus the passing im sure#so like i guess when i make art pieces ill tag him too? just so more people see it cause generally it seems like people really appreciate#his work and the movies hes in#anyway thats it for my ramblings lol its late as i rig#anyway thats all for my ramblings lol#i will say its amazing how in all three of these picturea i used he looks different in all of them even though two movies were released#in the same year and the other only two years later
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