#it's been a while since i watched the first episodes + there's several variations of it like the usual old one and then the newer one with

[devilsminionpdf]

the time travel episodes in doraemon where they return to the past to change something only to realise it was their attempt at changing it at all that made the present what it is has fascinating implications vis a vis doraemon being there at all. on one hand yes they sent doraemon back to ensure nobita's life isn't shit. but in the first episode the grandson guy ( forgor his name ) mentions this was necessary to begin with because there is a future where his life is shit. with photographs of said life as evidence. so what's going on here

[billpottsismygf]

The Legend of Ruby Sunday

Well that was certainly dramatic! A lot of questions answered, but more questions created. It's hard to have a conclusive opinion on this episode because it's so definitively only half of the story, but I certainly had fun throughout. There were lots of really funny bits of dialogue and good character moments, and a lot of drama.

I'd seen a couple of people speculating about Sutekh but I hadn't looked into why and, although I have watched The Pyramids of Mars, I don't remember an awful lot of what goes on in it! From what I recall, he wasn't that impressive a villain so the huge majesty and fanfare he's presented with here is quite interesting. He was a guy with a silly mask on in the 70s and here he's a somewhat ugly CGI dog, but I'm open to seeing how they connect these two versions of the character.

So, we have several people, all women, running around at the moment who have something to do with the mystery. 1) There's Ruby's birth mother. Why can't they see her face? Why was she pointing? 2) Mrs Flood, who turns out to be pretty unpleasant if she's refusing Cherry a cup of tea. Unlike the two I'm about to mention, she seemed to know what was coming and obviously about the TARDIS (and the camera) from the christmas special. 3) Harriet Arbinger, who is a harbinger of Sutekh. 4) Susan Twist, who is... another harbinger of Sutekh? It seems like Kate's chrysalis theory was right with her, at least. Does she serve the same role as Harriet? Is the little boy who was Maestro's harbinger have anything to do with either of them or did he just serve the same role?

Sutekh is apparently the mother and father and other of the gods, which could mean a bunch of things. For one it implies variation of gender, or at least an existence outside of it, which is interesting with the he/him pronouns and yet all these women who seem wrapped up with the plot, as well as the ongoing theme of abandoned children. Carla also called him the Beast before he'd even fully manifested, which of course brought to mind The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit, especially with the soldier who died saying he was in hell. Probably no connection, but who knows! He is also specifically name checked as being Set and Seth from Egyptian mythology. What does it all mean!

Also, how did Sutekh latch onto the TARDIS in the first place? Does the fact that the Doctor mallet whacked the TARDIS to double it in The Giggle have anything to do with the present situation? I didn't like that at the time because she's a living being and he just cloned her(?) or split her(?) or something, but now I'm thinking it would make sense if it connects to how she got infested with Sutekh in the first place.

Speaking of the TARDIS-Sutekh connection, I loved that the TARDIS anagram was so obvious the UNIT team laughed at the Doctor explaining it, which makes the "wrong anagram" reveal even better. RTD knew the fans would work out the TARDIS anagram immediately (which they did) and that it would be a red herring for us just as much as for UNIT! Though not that much of a red herring, since the TARDIS is involved. Is it perhaps a little silly to create your evil secret corporation under a name that might give away your evil secret plan? Yeah, but I like it at the moment.

I'm so glad Susan Triad isn't Susan Foreman (at least, it seems that way). It's another big old red herring. I've been desperate for Susan to return for so long - and I would still love her to, and maybe she even will in this arc - but I don't want her to return like this! Not as a villain and not as someone other than Carole Ann Ford. While we still have her, let her play Susan again! Please!

I am fascinated by this stuff about the Doctor having her before having children... It's been established in the past that the Doctor did have children and that he lost them all (eg. in The Doctor's Daughter), but here Fifteen seems to be implying that he hasn't yet. How does that all add up? I love the idea of having children out of order, and have always somewhat rebelled at the assumption that Time Lords have children in the same way as humans (ie. sexual reproduction between two parents of "opposite" sexes). Gimme Looms or something equally bizarre or nothing, so I'm definitely down for this; I just wonder how it actually makes sense for the Doctor.

I'm so happy to see Rose again! Obviously we knew she'd be in this, but she's a great character and I adored her dynamic with Ruby. Very cute! I loved the Doctor's line about them being two shades of red. I hope they'll develop the stuff of her not being given much to do, as I guess basically a nepotism hire, because I want her to get to do exciting things! On that note, it is odd if she's so kept out of things that she stays in the room after everyone who is not necessary is made to leave. I know she's necessary in that she's a UNIT employee who is important to us, the viewers, but it doesn't quite make sense with what is apparently her role in the organisation.

Saving perhaps the most interesting for last, the CCTV of the night Ruby was abandoned was 66 metres away. Otherwise known as 73 yards. My ears pricked up the moment they said that, though I needed to check afterwards that they were the same, and that surely can't be a coincidence. I don't know if I need anything more about 73 yards, despite my many questions at the end of it, but it could be very interesting if the events of that episode have something to do with the bigger picture.

Overall, fun and engaging episode in its own right, but I'll have to withhold final judgement until next week!

Misc things

Rose says it's been ages since she last saw the Doctor, so we're a while after the specials. Also there was mention of 2004 being 19 years ago so we're currently in 2023.

It's interesting we have two characters in this story (Susan and Rose) who are named after important companions, each the original companion of their run of Doctor Who.

I love that the Trickster got a mention. So many people seemed convinced the Trickster would be the big bad coming up, but at least he got a name check.

I loved Carla's energy in this one! True Donna vibes. She only had to hear of the existence of Rose's mum at UNIT and decided she was also going to be involved.

Susan Triad says she remembers worlds with orange skies, which certainly sounds like Gallifrey, so could there be a Susan connection after all? I noted down that her father was a postman and her mother a dinner lady, but so far have gleaned nothing from this.

I love Lenny Rush! I've seen him in lots of things at this point and he's so charismatic and funny, especially for a fifteen year old. I hope Morris will stay on for a while yet!

It seems strange that UNIT didn't know about Susan (Foreman), since I'm pretty sure we've seen in the past that they have files on all the Doctors, including One.

[thenightling]

My top ten favorite Christmas movies

Rise of the Guardians. Technically not set at Christmas but Santa is a character in it.

An American Tail - Actually set during Hanukkah so it's technically a Hanukkah movie.

10. Nearly all versions of A Christmas Carol. They may all tell variations of the same story but I have a soft spot for them. The animated one with Tim Curry, the Kelsey Grammar musical, the Jim Carey motion capture version, the 80s Scrooged version with Bill Murray.

In fact the ONLY version of A Christmas Carol I don't like is that awful 2019 BBC mini-series version that adds child molestation, sexual assault, urinating on a grave, non-Forgiveness and all together just a mean, cynical version... That version missed the point of the story entirely and taints all other versions by simply existing. That's how much I hate that 2019 version.

But I stand by that I love nearly all versions of A Christmas Carol. There are several adaptations and only one bothers me.

Specific favorite version of a Christmas Carol is The Muppet Christmas Carol - Despite being done with muppets this is one of the most faithful adaptations of a Christmas Carol while also having some great muppet humor.

9. ALL the Rankin Bass Holiday specials, stop motion and cell animation. I love all of them. And they're mostly a shared universe like Universal's Monster movies or the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Only some of these are movie length. My favorites change based on my mood whether Twas the Night before Christmas, Nester the long eared Christmas Donkey, or Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July.

Currently my favorite is probably The Life and adventures of Santa Claus, based on the novel by L. Frank. Baum. It's technically set in the same universe as The Wizard of Oz books but you'd have to read the original novel to know that. There's also a cell animated adaptation but I prefer the 80s stop motion version.

In this story Santa was raised by faeries in an enchanted forest and the story is actually these immortal beings determining if he's worthy to be made into an immortal too because if he isn't made immortal he's destined to die that night. Needless to say, they grant him immortality.

Again, my favorite is subject to change based on my mood.

8. Legend of Hell House - I'm only putting this on the list out of technicality. The movie ends on Christmas day and that's when the ghost is defeated. I first saw this movie late at night with my friend Lorie. We decided to watch it because Roddy McDowall was in it. And we were so sure he would die. He was the sort of character that dies in those sort of movies. He had been in the house before. He was meek, timid, and kind. He was nerdy. It was a cliche that someone like him would die. It was a relief and surprise when he turned out to be the hero of the story.

7. Jim Carey's The Grinch. I have a soft spot for this once since my mother loved it so much.

6. Marvel Superhero Adventures: Frost Fright! Most people don't even know this exists but it's a Marvel superheroes Christmas special / movie. It even taught me the old Nordic version of Santa (may even be a persona of Odin). Jolnir (Yule-near). However in this version Jollnir is a light elf.

5. The Addams Family Christmas. Technically not a movie but an episode of the 60s Addams Family, it's just very sweet. The kids are told Santa isn't real so all the adult Addams decide to prove to them that Santa is real by dressing up and giving them gifts. Meanwhile while they're distracted, the real Santa shows up.

4. Ghostbusters 2 - I know this sounds weird but it's set right after Christmas and ends on New Years day and there's a lot of Holiday feel to it. Also I kind of like Ghostbusters 2 more than the first one. I'm weird. I also loved the Real Ghostbsuters animated series episode where the Ghostbusters accidentally bust the ghosts that haunt Scrooge and then they had to rescue them and save Christmas.

3. Edward Scissorhands - I love this movie and somehow often forget that it's a Christmas story even though it's a bitter-sweet fable about the origin of Christmas snow. And it has such a beautiful, Haunting score by Danny Elfman. The score is gorgeous. And Nostalgia Critic points out that much of the atmosphere comes from Danny Elfman's haunting score. When Kim is dancing under the block of ice without the music the scene is weird and awkward. The music makes it.

One time my mother and I were at the mall and I saw this nice anniversary edition DVD of Edward Scissorhands in a steel case. My mother and I went to McDonalds and while at McDonalds she handed me the money and said "Go back and get that Edward Scissorhands." That was my favorite Christmas gift that year.

2. Over the Garden Wall - This is a TV mini-series but when spliced together it makes a movie length story. And all the visuals are inspired by vintage New England Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas cards. Bonus mention: I forgot to mention the TV mini-series adaptation of Hogfather. It's a bit like Nightmare before Christmas. Set in Terry Ptatchett's fantasy Discworld, Death (The Grim Reaper) has to play the part of The Hogfather (Their world's version of Santa) one year. And it's actually very sweet. There's a scene where he saves a little match girl that chokes me up each time. And I love the moral that we need to believe in intangible / impossible things like love and justice in order to make them real.

1. Nightmare before Christmas - This has been my favorite movie since I was eleven-years-old. Not just favorite Christmas / Halloween, or Tim Burton film. Just favorite film, period.

I saw this with my Birthday money, it came out right before I turned twelve. I paid for my mother, brother, cousins and I to go see it. As soon as "This is Halloween" started I knew I was hooked.

[ltwharfy]

"Bob's Burgers" Season 1 Episode Ranking Rewatch (Long Post)

Remember that "Bob's Burgers" episode ranking spreadsheet that @babsvibes came out with a while back? No, well, that's okay. But I personally thought it was one of the coolest things ever.

I particularly love how it calculates average ratings for the seasons because, honestly, I have no freaking clue what my favorite season of "Bob's Burgers" is. I'm certain it's somewhere between seasons 3-10 (inclusive), but other than that, I couldn't say. Because it is an episodic comedy with a rather consistent high level of quality, the individual seasons don't feel that distinct to me. (Now ask me about seasons of "Buffy" or "Deep Space 9" and that's a totally different ballgame...) The writer and director ratings appeal to me for the same reason- I recognize the names of the writers but have never noticed enough variation to label one as a favorite (again, "Buffy" and"DS9" would be contrasts to this.)

But I quickly realized that I couldn't just sit down and rate all the episodes because, for a lot of them, I've never really thought about how good they were. I know the episodes I love and practically have memorized (hey, "Bob Actually", I see you) and I know the rare episodes I had a strong negative reaction. But, honestly, I hadn't thought about "The Hormone-iums" enough recently to be able to assign a number to it.

The solution to this is: rewatch! I'm rewatching every episode and entering a rating in the spradsheet within minutes of finishing it- the ratings are very much a gut reaction after watching the episode! I've finished rewatching season 1 and my thoughts on it are below (I'm also watching episodes I come across on cable when I have the time, so I do have some episodes from later seasons filled in and I'll share subsequent seasons as they get completed.)

Oh, and here's a word about what the ratings mean to me: I'm seeing this as a 1-5 scale that I could rate all TV shows, or even all types of entertainment, on. So, a 3 doesn't mean I think it's an average episode of "Bob's Burgers", it means I think it is an average episode of television. It means it's fine, I wouldn't turn it off if I wanted to watch TV and it was all that was on. I also think of the scale a lot like letter grades with 3= a C, 4=B, and 5=A. That also explains why I haven't actually rated anything a 2 or a 1 yet. The Belcher kids might get Ds on their report cards, but "Bob's Burgers" rarely makes D episodes, IMO.

Okay, if you actually read the several paragraphs of introduction, here are my Season 1 episode ratings (the episode rating is the number in the furthest right column):

The average (mean) for the season was 3.54 and the mode (most common rating) was 3.

Some thoughts on the season as a whole:

First, I think one of my less commonly-held opinions in "Bob's Burgers" fandom is that I don't think Season 1 was awful. It's not as great as the show would become but, honestly, I think it is far from the worst example of Early Installment Weirdness on a show that I love. I've watched the show since it debuted, and even in those early episodes I enjoyed it enough to keep coming back week after week. If it had been cancelled after season 1, I wouldn't've viewed it as a tragedy like "Firefly" or "Terriers", but I would've been annoyed because I thought it was a promising show that made me laugh sometimes and had some talented folks working on it.

Rewatching these early episodes, I still found a lot to enjoy about them. There are some classic storylines and jokes, and while there was definitely a process of fine-tuning that would continue through the first few seasons, I think most of the character's core personalities are pretty recognizable. (Bob is actually the character whose personality seems most different in my book. It was really Bob's personality and the general family dynamic that took the longest to figure out.)

Some thoughts on particular episodes:

One thing I noted while doing the ratings is that 3 can mean at least two different things to me. Sometimes, 3 just means the episode is meh; I'm kind of indifferent it to it but it's okay. "Torpedo" falls in that category. I have very little to say about "Torpedo". Other times, 3 is more of a mixed review, where I loved some things and hated others. An example of that would be "Human Flesh"- I hate the child molester and autism jokes. But I really enjoy other bits, like Hugo's poem, Bob's speech to the protestors that ends up going off the rails, the kids locking Bob out of the restaurant, etc. So, I just average out the good and the bad and give it a 3.

It was interesting comparing my feelings towards these episodes going into them versus the ratings I ended up giving them. I ended up enjoying "Sexy Dance Fighting" and "Sacred Cow" more than I thought I would. Can't really give a good explanation except "they were funnier than I remembered". With "Sacred Cow", I'll add that I really like Randy and his dynamic with Bob, and that, on rewatch, the episode wasn't as mean spirited towards vegetarians as I recalled it being (my sister has been a vegetarian for decades, so I hate when people make cheap shots at them.)

On the other hand, my ratings for "Hamburger Dinner Theater" and "Sheesh! Cab, Bob?" were lower than they would've been if I was just going from memory. For those two, the subsequent evolution of the show made me like them less than I did when they first aired. For "Hamburger Dinner Theater", I remember really liking the songs when it first aired...but the show has done so much more impressive musical work since then that I can't say it's songs elevate it. For "Sheesh! Cab, Bob?", I really dislike the mocking of Jimmy Pesto's diaper fetish towards the end of it. It just seems mean spirited and out of character for the show when compared to later seasons. Yeah, Jimmy's a jerk but we shouldn't mock his sex stuff.

I totally admit that the ratings are shaped by my own personal tastes, and maybe the best example of that is "Spaghetti Western and Meatballs" getting a 4. Why did it get a 4 rather than a 3? Mainly because its really the first episode where we see the softer side of Louise and realize how much her relationships with her family, especially her dad, mean to her, and I love that stuff.

EDITED TO ADD: "Art Crawl"! I can't believe that when I originally posted this I didn't mention anything about the first episode I give a 5. I wish I could give a better explanation than "I found it very funny: but that's pretty much it. It is one that I remembered considering a highlight back when I was first watching this season, and in this case, I found it even funnier than I remembered. I really enjoy Edith and Harold- their voices and hostility towards the Belchers crack me up- and this was a great introduction to them. I particularly love the scene when Edith refuses to let Harold drink water from Bob's Burgers. Oh, and this episode introduces Gayle, too, and does a great job with it! Just a solid, hilarious episode, IMO.

Random thoughts (stuff that doesn't affect the ratings):

Gloria is my least favorite "Bob's Burgers" character. If you had asked me prior to the rewatch, I might say she has no redeeming moments on the show. But in "Crawl Space" she sticks up for Bob and Linda to Mr. Frond. So she has one good moment, in the show's second episode.

The bit of Early Installment Weirdness that bothers me the most? Ms. LaBonz's voice is off! Contrasting her appearance in "Lobsterfest" to her later appearances makes it clear how much the voice helps make the character.

I'm a big fan of the supporting characters in Louise's 4th grade class- Rudy, Kaylee, Arnold, Chloe, Millie, Jessica...so it is so weird that none of them are present in these early episodes but Large Tommy is! Weird to think that after Louise, he was first of those 4th graders to be introduced- he has a non-speaking role in the pilot episode!

Is there anybody out there who ships Normal Sized Jenny and Regular Sized Rudy? They've clearly got a lot in common....(This is a stupid joke. The last thing I need is another Rudy ship.)

I'll probably post something like this when I finish rating each season. The other posts will likely be shorter because they won't have the several paragraphs of introductory text at the beginning. Thanks for reading if you did!

[hotarutranslations]

Words That Have The Same Sense Of Familiarity, Choreo Familiarity

Evening

July 28th (Sun) 📍Mizuho PayPay Dome Fukuoka

At "Hawks SUMMER BOOST 2024"

It has been decided that Morning Musume '24 will be performing after the match! Thank you very much!

Nah…Um…

Just the day,

Maria's dream came true, We sang and dance a EsCon Field HOKKAIDO, It was a really wonderful experience🥲🫶🏻

Somehow, next,

we'll be visiting Mizuho PayPay Dome Fukuoka…

!! Amazing…Having such a luxurious connection It makes me really happy

"Hawks SUMMER BOOST"

Lets make the festival exciting🍻🏮🍧🎆 Lets have fun together~~~

Since I didn't write it yesterday, Please let me write 1 thing!!!

Tohoku Rakuten Golden Eagles First win in the exhibit games🏆

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!

Rakuten Eagles were, Holding the myfavE DAY event, I was interested in this celebration😭👏🏻

Its amazing to win on such a day😭👏🏻

I watched the matches throughout the day and night, Although it was the highlights⚾️ I had to support…⚾️

Rakuten Mobile Park Miyagiii⚾️

Has everyone had some fun lately!

For me, today, Mei and I danced to Da-iCE-san's I wonder, It was fun😆😆

😆😆My face was like this the whole time dancing lol

tiktok

Dancing it several times, Here its like this~🕺 Should we do this~🕺 since it was like that,

It felt like that choreo was familiar to me, It was interesting--!

The beginning and end were completely different🐼🐼

Please definitely give it a watch~🕺

(I'm posting this with the meaning that it is Mei and I lololol)

Everyone, Since you watched the dance, You had fun today, right? Right?

.😆💚💙

- ̗̀📣"Hello! Project 2024 Summer ALL OF US!" Notice of FC 2nd Reception

The Hello! Project concerts, are my next opportunity to stand in front of the fans~~ I've ended up getting nervous no matter what recently~~ I'm also nervous about Hellcon no~~oo~😕😕

But I'm looking forward to it, and the rehearsals

Although its Vega and Altair, The regions other than Osaka and Aichi only have 1 variation, Its a shame we can't do Vega..🤔💭

Well! It'll be fun anyway!

Miyagi, Hiroshima, Osaka, Fukuoka, Aichi, We're still having an advance FC reception🎫

Thank you very much for your support

- ̗̀📣Morning Musume '24 74th Single "Nandaka Sentimental na Toki no Uta/saiKITOU" Commemorative Release Announcement

We've also decided on this!

We didn't have this in the first half, right.. Its been a while since there has been an opportunity to speak directly

Since its a precious opportunity, I'd be happy if, I could talk to all kinds of different people~~😌🪽

Its a lot of news all at once- ̗̀📣

Um..Do your best.. Please check it out! lol

📺Hello Pro Dance Gakuen Season 11

June 6th (Thurs) 11:30PM~ Learning Locking from HIYORI-san🕺

Currently on air!

Sendai Broadcast "Ara Ara Kashiko" June 15th (Sat) Ishida Ayumi Goes~!

I appear once a month as part of the AraKashi Family

The previous shows, and makings, are on OX VIDEO STORE!

Thank you for following.. Instagram💙🩵

💿

May 15th Release Morning Musume '23 Concert Tour Fall "Neverending Shine Show ~Seiki~" Fukumura Mizuki Graduation Special YokoAri's 2nd Day With Fukumura-san's Graduation Performance

May 15th Release Morning Musume '23 Concert Tour Fall "Neverending Shine Show" SPECIAL YokoAri's 1st Day With OG Performances

🪩The MusiQuest 2024 July 21st (Sun) PiaArena MM

We're challenging a new festival stage❤️‍🔥 Absolutely, Definitely, Thank you for your support❤️‍🔥

🪩Hello! Project 2024 Summer ALL OF US "Vega" "Altair" From July 13th~September 1st Traveling To 7 Cities Nationwide All Hello! Project groups are performing🔥 I don't know anything about how it'll be yet so, I'll tell you when I know more!

📻Morning Musume '24 Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~

Airs Every Saturday, On Radio Nihon at 12:00AM~

Past Broadcast Episodes Are Available →Program Details

I visited as a guest🪽 "Sayashi Riho and The Time From Now On" presented by Meiji Bulgarian Yogurt

see you ayumin <3

[mittensmorgul]

The Winchesters 1.03, You’re Lost Little Girl

Rewatch notes, mostly for my own reference purposes. not entirely in chrono order of the episode, with many tangents and references to spn canon...

Poor little Twinkle Star, Carrie, having to grow up too quick and be a big girl. And her 12-year-old brother as her main caretaker (and as we’ll learn, Mary next door checking in on them when she can). At least she had the CB radio to talk to her momma while she was on the road. More than Sam and Dean ever got, from what we’ve seen.

(btw, love the anachronistic reference to Star Wars with the names Carrie and Ford, when Star Wars won’t come out for another five years...)

So her stuffed bunny Bernice is missing, and right when she wishes for it most, a weird sack appears on her floor, and she finds the bunny. But a truly horrific monster climbs out of the sack behind her and snatches her up.

So. This monster. Is it stealing these items to start with so that people will miss them, or is it truly opportunistically creating items (or otherwise magically manifesting them in response to people wishing for their lost items?), or does the mechanics of it even really matter? It’s got its whole creepy storage unit inside some sack pocket dimension. It reminds me of the Soul Eater from 11.16 in some ways, with its little pocket dimension where it pulls people’s souls to drain/feed on them until they disappear entirely. At least that part is a near identical concept, even if the mechanics are slightly different.

Dean’s narration is an attempt to murder me personally, about ending up lost without friends and family to help guide you. Like... Dean... baby... can I get you a hug...

FINALLY we learn what happened to Mary’s mom. Apparently Deanna has been out of touch, off on her own working with other hunters in... Minnesota... for at least a few months. And even that seems connected to the mysterious Maggie who died, whose death caused so many fractures for seemingly everyone they know. WHO IS MAGGIE?! WHAT HAPPENED THERE?! That feels... very important to the larger story of what’s going on here.

But I find it wild that Deanna has been completely out of touch with the family, almost like SHE IS MISSING TOO?!, and yet Mary is solely focused on finding Samuel. Which I think is something else to pay attention to. WHERE IS DEANNA?! If her other hunting friends haven’t seen her in several months either, I’m marking her down on the MISSING list, as well.

We have another incident of the SILENT TREATMENT. The whole gang does have a history of using it as a weapon, but heck. Mary wondering if Samuel is deliberately keeping her in the dark about his current hunt as a variation on the silent treatment, as a sort of punishment for their argument over her wanting to quit hunting. Lata tries to reframe it for Mary into something more positive, Mary considers it and dismisses it.

Lata suggests they go see a movie to take a break, john jumps at the offer, and mary’s like nah go see the omega man I got work to do. When I first watched, I wondered if there was an element of lata hoping John would go with her instead, but... I didn’t see it this time. I do think they would be cute together, though :’D

Ada is working through all her demon spell freewriting notes, and has a lead on maybe getting info about fixing the demon trap box. Obviously it can’t become a kill anything all the time device, so I still wonder if that thing has a cooldown period, or other limitations. Otherwise you don’t have a show, just feed every monster to the box and be done with it.

Carlos arrives with info about Mary’s missing neighbor, and she and John go to investigate while Mary makes Carlos go with Ada to track down the demon. Teamwork makes the dream work, etc. “Don’t go alone” is always good advice on this show, too.

Betty’s last name is Donelon. Missed that before. :”D John... is the absolute worst liar. We know he’s been dodging Betty since he got back, but you’d think he’d at least have thought up a better lie than “study group” and “community college” for what he’s been up to. I mean, even “dealing with family stuff” is a stronger lie than making up stuff that can be so easily disproven. Which makes me think about original canon, knowing the history of “the story became the story” and things John forced Dean to invent, or lies he demanded Dean convince Sam of for his own protection. Does John get to be a better liar with practice, or does he just pass off the creation of those stories to Dean to handle? John’s abject failure to lie smoothly here makes me think it’s the latter.

Betty is a good person, genuinely a good person, and she deserves better than his awful lies. But very much like Sam’s strategy later in life, John wants to keep her out of the Supernatural entirely, and will not tell her the truth about any of it. She better not end up dead because of that...

Ford tells Mary the truth of what he saw, things he didn’t tell the police, and Mary believes him (of course). She goes exploring in Carrie’s room with John, and he finds her CB. Mary has one too, but she used hers for different reasons-- on Samuel’s orders, listening for Hunter Code Words. I presume that’s the sort of scanning John used it for when Dean recalled him using one in 13.11. But Mary just liked listening to the truckers and imaging having “a normal life.” Like... long haul truckers was her exposure to “normal.” LOL at that, poor mary.

Mary, raised into hunting, never allowing HERSELF (though she blames her parents for it) to imagine a different life for herself outside of hunting, is only... sorta like Dean? We watched Dean HAVE a very different life from hunting, taking a year off at Sam’s dying wish, and then finally deciding that life wasn’t for him. Even in his supposed “living the dream” scenario of owning Rocky’s Bar, HE WAS STILL HUNTING. A big part of that recurring sequence was the fight scene. Like he could never be truly content completely out of the life either. “Settling down with someone, someone in the life” was the option we understood was Dean’s idea of happiness for a very long time. And I suspect Mary would be happy with that sort of balanced happiness in her life too, even if it becomes “I just want out, period.” I feel like she wants out from under Samuel’s rather authoritarian thumb more than she wants out of hunting, you know? Just like her friends expressed to her about her leadership style last week...

John’s the one who presses her to make a new list, of things she might like to do “when she quits hunting for good.” I don’t think he really understands... definitely not yet. He’s the one who was allowed to have other dreams as a kid (like Sam was...) and who’s just really learning about hunting now... about Saving People, etc.

Mary finds a bit of the sack, and we see inside, Carrie hidden beneath a mountain of stuffed animals, the monster closing in on her, and then backing off. Like it knows she’s there, and letting her be afraid for a while is part of its plans for her. Lata confirms this later, that it traps victims in a maze, then “plays with its food,” taunting them until it finally eats them.

Mary explains hex bags to John, and John explains to Ford that they’re for “luck,” rather than “to ward off malicious spirits” like mary told him. So he CAN lie effectively, but I guess only to kids? LOL.

Ford demands he be allowed to help find his sister, because he blames himself for losing her. Mary tells him he can help by staying safe, and Ford proves he’s not dumb, insisting the thing he saw take Carrie was real. Mary doesn’t even attempt to lie to him, just tells him what they know, but in 12-year-old kid terms. There’s shades of Dean attempting to tell a kid version of the truth to Jesse the Antichrist back in 5.06. 

On their stakeout, Ada is intently focused on a bonsai tree and some sort of spellcraft, trimming the tree like her life depended on it, Carlos is in raptures over Rockin Roxy and her pirate radio station. In his boredom, they both somehow missed the demon sneaking up on them. I still love Carlos’ holy water pistol :’D And it’s good to know this demon is powerful enough that he’s not really bothered by it. Ada wants to keep him trapped so they can chat before they report back to the others. And I’m thinking this is why she rolled her eyes when Mary insisted Carlos go with her. She was hoping to do this on the DL.

Mary and her suspicion about two Wayward Monsters in two weeks... obscure hag from Columbia, now obscure North Indian bag freak... and suddenly this feels like the plot to the first 2/3 of s6. Where ARE all these obscure monsters coming from. Kinda wondering if we’re gonna see a lamia or an okami next... Is this a side effect of the Akrida? Possibly connected to the weird pink energy she’s pulling from all the vanquished monsters? And her “siren” pirate radio persona of Rockin Roxy? Is that the beacon drawing the monsters in somehow?

We learn Lata’s parents are both dead, a long time ago. She contacts other people “back home” to ask what they might know about escaping and/or destroying the monster. So at least she’s got a lead.

And Ford is also listening to Rockin Roxy when the monster comes for him at Mary’s house. I sense a theme here... But poor Ford, nobody bothered to explain to him that even the porch is beyond the protective zone of the magic spells. He could’ve called Mary for help here, but there’s also a little Dean-esque guilt infusing this boy, and personal responsibility to save his little sister he was charged with protecting. The sack spits out his sister’s Twinkle Star barrette, Ford can’t resist picking it up, and he’s snatched too.

Mary and John arrive back with cheeseburgers (!). So they search the house to no avail. Betty arrives to check up on Ford, and she’s let her hair down. But she’s surprised to find John there, and he gets to prove just how bad a liar he is... Mary finds the open back door, and another scrap of sack. 

John in roundabout way basically tells Betty that it’s over between them. She’d been expecting to “talk” about their relationship when he got back, and John’s just... moved on, which kinda surprises Betty, but she handles it like a champ. She’s such a good person I need to reiterate nothing bad better happen to her.

Also, John’s jacket sleeves. He’s like Sam, needs to find a tall dude shop so he can get his wrists covered lolololol.

But that distraction was just long enough for Mary to make her choice to throw herself at the monster, too. She’s next door where John can’t stop her in time, calling him over the radio. She tells him her plan, and he begs her not to. It’s clear how attached he’s become to her, if not as a True Love situation, at least as a redemption symbol for himself. He’s hitched his wagon to her mission as a way to redeem his personal lost legacy too, but he can help her save HER father even when he was unable to save his own, as well. He has a LOT riding on her, not even counting the whole Destiny™ nonsense they get wrapped up in from SPN canon.

She pushes John to take care of business, to find a way to get her back out again, and she’ll handle the rest. There’s a lot of tangled emotion here. She’s pulling a Classic Dean Move, but she’s also latched on to John as Someone Who Finds Things™. And he DOES. But finding her SPECIFICALLY?! What better person to have gone on the insane revenge mission John takes upon himself after Mary’s death. He can’t find her anymore, but he’s driven to find the thing that killed her, right? This feels like the seeds of that mission.

John figures out where she is, runs next door and arrives just in time to catch the bag writhing on the floor. He has a mission, though. Mary will protect the kids until John can figure how to save them. But she’s got her Dad’s Indiana Jones hat, and runs off to protect at the sound of a scream.

(what’s with the weird jensen ackles face in the room mary wakes up, which looks a lot like a weird closet filled with dress up clothes... my “the bunker has a secret wardrobe room that Dean has fully stocked” headcanon rides again)

Back to Ada and Carlos, and the demon now trapped in a salt circle. She taunts the demon as she prepares a spell, and he taunts her back that she couldn’t pull it off, reminder that she was possessed by his “buddy” for a while and they apparently had chats about Ada... but Ada has the upper hand (the one about to bleed the one drop of blood and trap him in a bonsai tree forever). He breaks.

He doesn’t really know very much, escaped hell, made a deal with the Akrida who’s possessing a human, but there are too many of them to be stopped. And he doesn’t know anything else, so Ada traps him in the bonsai so he can’t go back to hell and tell the rest of the demons what they’re up to, and they’ll have him contained in case they need to ask him anything else. Smart, honestly.

John pleads with Lata. He wants to go after mary, into the sack. She tells him no. He tells her that Hunting, the life he’s just learning about now, is the first thing that’s ever made sense to him, and none of that works without Mary. Lata agrees to take one more shot, contacting a mystery person who might not even want to talk to her... what deep backstory lurks in there, Lata? She contacts the mystery person who DOES give her helpful info, but she ends the call with something like “Tell Mom I’m safe, that’s all she needs to know.” So is her mother NOT dead? Are her parents in hiding? Are they hunters, too? Is she referring to an adoptive mother and not her actual mom? WHO ARE YOU, LATA?!

Carrie and Ford run for their lives from the monster still in Torment His Food Mode, when Mary finds them and chops it to bits. They run for it when the monster reconstitutes, and hide in a storage room filled with zippo lighters-- such an important item for hunters everywhere!

They know how to defeat the thing, but the only way to save people inside the sack already is for them to willingly let go of their beloved item that’s holding them there. Which is nine kinds of awful thinking about 15.18, isn’t it?

John realizes he doesn’t even have to go into the sack to get this info to Mary, though. If the monster has a CB radio in its collection, she might hear him through that. She does. But the radio is in another cubicle filled with sound equipment. John tells them how to get out, and Mary thinks she’s in for an ordeal getting Carrie to give up her beloved bunny, but she’s already pulling it apart when Mary turns back to her. Ford follows suit, snapping the barrette in half. They zap out, leaving Mary to deal with letting go of Samuel’s hat.

Mary can’t get the hat to burn. The fire just curves around the brim, like it’s her will controling the flame. Like humans control our own destiny (hur hur hur). She isn’t willingly letting go of what the hat represents-- not just her missing father, but what comes next for her once she does find him. John frames at as her being willing to let go of hunting, and her identity as a hunter, but again, I think it’s a lot more complex than that. 

She’s committed to quitting hunting once she finds her dad, but also says, “Hunting is all I have.” And like.. that’s not even remotely true. She has her family, her friends, everything she’s learned, too. But it’s about her identity, the fact she doesn’t know who she is if she’s not hunting (which is something I don’t think she even figured out after her return in s12, either... but I think we’re gonna learn who she is right alongside her now).

John spent his entire life looking for his dad (going as far as enlisting in the marines to fight in Vietnam before coming home to find a lead from a mysterious vanishing stranger and a key that literally led him right to Mary...). And he WANTS to keep hunting, he’s identifying with it! Thinks it’s his future, even if Mary wants out! John tells her she doesn’t have to figure it all out right now, but just to be open to figuring it out. As the monster crawls under the door and closes in on Mary, she lets go. Almost like she’s surrendering CONTROL over her life just a little bit, and the hat burns.

The monster crawls out of the sack in reality, Lata shoves it, John kills it, and Carrie stomps it with “STUPID MONSTER.”

The kids are reunited with their mom, Betty is back to close the case, with her hair back up again. She returns an engagement ring he’d given her a long time ago, when they were too young. They won’t get a happy ending together, but she wants to be friends. She cares about John. PROTECT HER.

Mary tries to thank John for helping her, but he won’t hear it. “You did the hard part.” Mary says she’s taking a break, at least for a night, and then... punches John in the shoulder like a good pal and goes off to the movies alone. To see The Omega Man (which Dean referenced in 2.09 Croatoan). She’s a dime short at the ticket window, and a man behind her offers to cover it. For a second, I thought it was John, but it’s just Random Guy Who Likes Seeing Movies Alone, and offers to see this one “alone, together.” So Mary has a weird date with Not-John.

Meanwhile, John is back at Monster Clubhouse having a drink with Lata, and he’s being just as supportive of her as he was of Mary. <3 Lata reminds him of the two rare monsters in a row, that it must be connected. When Carlos and Ada return and tell them yes, through the Akrida, who’s impersonating a human woman and is powerful enough to terrify demons.

Who is she? We cut to Rockin Roxy, guaranteed to bring the rarest hellraisers from near and far... lolol anvils much? The spooky sound? Percy Sledge.

MONTAGE!

John starts to burn the monster bag, but walks away before it’s done and an akrida comes in and takes it. Mary leaves the theater with her new friend and there are SO many lens flares. So many.

I do not claim to be good at screenshots.

We see Ada angrily pulling a bit off her bonsai demon while Carlos watches from the other room, concerned. Lata looks at the old timey phone, like she’s upset about something.

And we see the Akrida buglet deliver the bag to Roxy, who pulls another flask worth of shiny red/pink energy from it, like she did from last week’s monster. I think she’s luring the monsters to Lawrence, using the Monster Club to take care of them for her, and then harvesting their energy for her own purposes. But what are her purposes? Building a weapon, integrating herself into this world, other magical purposes? To be determined...

[triflesandparsnips]

A brief follow-up re: this shit right here

Am I using another gif of the exact same scene just so I can watch it again from a slightly different artistic perspective? Yes, absolutely.

Since posting my feral feels regarding this scene in OFMD, I've seen rather a lot of reactions, and to be absolutely clear holy shit I love everyone in this bar & grill.

I would like to break down the reactions, though, and provide some additional commentary because it turns out I have EVEN MORE FEELINGS.

1. "My heart, my eyes, I'm screaming, I'm gnawing wood" and variations thereof

Amazing, no notes.

2. "Now that Stede knows he loves Ed, his Game will become Too Powerful"

I feel it's important to state that the beauty of this moment is only possible because

"On-Purpose Queer-Coded Language To Identify Each Other Safely"

and

"I'm Gonna Be Real Careful With My Wording Because I Like Pretty Things But I Don't Need Broken Ribs Today"

are often indistinguishable in the moment. To Ed? Stede has just done an elegant bit of coded communication. (THERE WAS A HANKY FOR FUCKS' SAKE.) It's part of why he goes in for a kiss-- and then promptly does a quick slide into a homosocially acceptable bro-punch when Stede doesn't immediately lean in too. Ed's still doing safety checks, and he'll continue doing them for several more episodes, but he's definitely added at least one tick mark -- possibly the first tick mark -- in his mental "does Stede do ~dalliances" tally sheet.

To Stede, though? He got to Be Himself and he did it Right so Hooray he didn't get his Face Caved In. While my dude needs to take some time to consider why it's so important to him that he Be Himself around This Particular Guy in This Particular Way, he is definitely not reading from the same set of notes as Ed. His mental tally sheet? Is still labeled "is this a Friend y/n." Because in Stede's past even trying to form friendships ended up with verbal abuse and weirdly sexualized violence so, like, Stede has a VERY different starting point than Ed on this one.

(And tbh, I think @kohlrabisabi's reply to the original post really hits a lot of this well. Stede is absolutely just… doing an extension of his own learned "safe" behavior and it HAPPENS to correspond with what Ed "knows" safe behavior like that "means." From a queer narrative point of view it doesn't particularly matter that Stede does in fact turn out to be in love with Ed-- he still betrayed the shared language that was supposed to finally make it safe for Ed to believe there was an Understanding between them, and therefore the fact that Stede didn't show up at the dock isn't just heartbreaking, it's an actively traumatic experience for Ed as a queer man.)

(The flip side of this is that it's not particularly fair of Ed to depend entirely on The Secret Code of Gay to interpret Stede's full thoughts on this extremely life altering situation, and perhaps spending five goddamn minutes just talking openly and making sure everyone's on the same page would've saved us all a lot of toes, okay.)

ALL THIS TO SAY: Lol no, if Stede tries to woo Ed now, it's going to be awkward straight-guy courtship outta manuals because that's what he thinks you're supposed to do, it'll be amazingly awful and I cannot fucking wait. We'll only see our slow and coded queer seduction vibes when Stede is, once again, trying not to get stabbed by Blackbeard.

3. "How does a television show do this, how is All This Meaning done by thirty people in a clown car driven by HBO"

The queer experience is nonetheless the human experience; we've been humans for a long time and our stories tend to repeat a lot. Also, all art is collaborative, and the audience is doing the bulk of the heavy lifting when engaging with any work of art -- therefore it's not thirty people in a clown car, it's millions of people collectively recognizing a shared/lived experience as accurate within our own contexts and imbuing it with yet further meaning because our ability to do so has neither directly nor indirectly been contradicted by the narrative.

tl;dr: Magic.

[existslikepristin]

Impromptu Review

Thanks for editing this one goes to momirene and Worldsover, and for helpful beta reading feedback from them and one dork who wants to remain anonymous.

Tags: TheLounge, Red Velvet, SNSD (Girl's Generation), Joy, Sunny, loneliness, potential traumatization of cats, a hoard of hell-themed sex toys, a strap on, a butt plug with Jiu's face in it, and bisexual problems.

The front door of Sunny’s apartment swung open so fast that Joy felt a breeze from the vacuum it left behind.

“Joy! You’re here!”

Joy blinked. “Yeah, I said I would come over.”

“It’s been so long since we’ve met up! Come in, come in!”

“It’s only been like a month though.”

Sunny grabbed Joy’s hands and pulled her through the doorway. “It feels like so much longer than that!”

Joy smiled and took her shoes off in the entryway. “You seem more excited than usual.”

“What? How so?”

“Well for one,” Joy said, pointing at the kitchen, “It looks like you prepared for a whole party in here.”

The kitchen’s island was covered in plates of snacks and several variations of alcoholic beverages. Additionally, Sunny was noticeably sweaty, like she had just run around the house preparing for guests. Joy figured it would be best not to bring that up.

“What? No. That? That’s… yeah, that’s a lot of food, isn’t it?” Sunny’s posture drooped, as if she’d already expended all of her energy on her greeting.

Joy pulled her into a side hug. Her height served to straighten Sunny back up. “What’s going on, girl?”

Sunny sighed and leaned her head on Joy’s chest. “I dunno. I’m just excited. Haven’t had a good social night any time recently.”

“Aw! But what about these cutie kitties?”

Sogeum popped her head out from behind the wall and gave Joy her signature droopy, grim stare without so much as a meow. As soon as Joy shuffled in her direction though, she turned and went back into the living room.

“Well, you know. Can’t really have a real conversation with the cats.”

Joy hummed her agreement and stepped into the kitchen. “I’m always happy to talk to you Sunny. They don’t call SM a family for nothing.”

Sunny groaned, loudly.

“Um. Okay,” Joy said when Sunny didn’t elaborate. “Not a family? Just a bunch of really close friends?”

“Yeah, that’ll work better. Not a fan of the family motif.”

Joy picked up a cracker and chomped down. “Gonna… explain? Family is normally a positive thing, isn’t it?”

Sunny grabbed a bottle of wine and yanked the cork out. “Yeah, totally, for sure. Hey, do you like Chardonnay?”

“I…” Joy didn’t want to skirt around whatever issue Sunny was having, but was well-aware of her stubbornness. “I sure do.”

As fancy glasses of white wine were generously poured, Joy made note of Sunny’s slow, unsteady movements. She worried that perhaps Sunny had already started drinking, or wasn’t getting enough sleep.

* * *

“Can you believe that, Joy?”

“No way. It’s just inhuman.”

“Completely! It’s not like green onions are suddenly more expensive to dry out!”

The conversation had started with gossip and cheese snacking when the sun was high. As the sun set, the discussion shifted to the price of instant meals, and the snack plates were all but empty. Joy had to fight the constant urge to fall asleep, as the topics were never much more interesting than that. But she let Sunny lead the talking as much as possible.

Joy was simply relieved that Sunny called her over before diving into her liquor storage. “You should start a petition to regulate the price. I’d be the first to sign it.”

Sunny’s tipsy grin matched Joy’s. Though the alcohol consumption had been slow-going, they had been doing it for several hours. “Oh that would be great press. ‘Washed up idol upset with ramen manufacturers.’”

With an exaggerated roll of the eyes, Joy pointed at a set of boxes in the corner of the living room, currently being used as a lookout tower by Sogeum. “You’re not washed up yet. Look at all of those sponsor gifts. Those weren’t here last time I came over… Wait, they weren’t, were they?”

Sunny giggled. “No, they’re, uh… new.”

Their corporate sponsors weren’t something that Joy, Sunny, or any of the other SM idols discussed often. There were usually so many vying for their attention that it was pointless trying to keep track. But Joy reasoned, somewhat drunkenly, that talking about it might be therapeutic to someone so down on their social status. “Who are they from, anyway?”

A blush deepened the red of Sunny’s already tipsy-glowing cheeks. “Uh… Nobody. Just a regular sponsor, ya know?”

Joy grinned. “Oh, come on. You can tell me. What am I gonna do? Call a press conference to tell the tabloids who’s contributing to your paycheck?”

Sunny rolled her eyes. She shot off the couch, spilling a drop or two of her wine in the process. From Joy’s naturally higher perspective, Sunny didn’t seem that much taller. “Fine,” she said, wobbling, “but you better not make fun of me.”

“I’ll make fun of you for other reasons, like how much I love you, bitch!” Joy blinked at her own shouting. She didn’t know when the alcohol had hit her, but she was beginning to think that she was a little more intoxicated than she previously thought.

Thankfully, the joviality in her voice seemed to encourage Sunny to play along. She set her wine on the coffee table and picked one of the smaller boxes off of the pile. “Disclosure first! We haven’t agreed to any deals yet. They sent me this stuff to try to convince me to shill it. I didn’t reach out to them.”

Joy waved the disclosure off like a mosquito, but Sunny still tossed the box in her direction. The weight inside of it was awkwardly distributed. Joy attempted to catch it, but it wound up ricocheting off the tips of her fingers and nearly knocking over an open, mostly full bottle of soju.

“The fuck is in this thing?”

“I’ve got some ideas but I just know who it’s from. Open it and find out.”

Joy tore into the box with no regard for the care that went into the packaging, which itself was surprisingly discreet. A smirk cracked her lips when she thought about what sorts of deliveries required such discretion. But the smirk faded right away when she got a view of the inside and realized that the packager apparently had the same idea.

Inside was a pair of plastic sheets wrapped asymmetrically around a roughly water bottle sized blob of blood red silicone. A small bit of pink cardboard advertised it as a five-speed, rotation-simulating, self-cleaning, pattern-switching, USB-charging, automatically-lubricating, remote-controlled vibrator with a speaker at the bottom for replicating a set of desired moans and a specialized charging dock.

Joy cleared her throat and stared at the horrifically fancy dildo, and its label, “Dante’s Dive,” unsure if she should toss it back to Sunny, considering it was clearly a personal item.

Sunny reached into what was left of the box, procuring a pretty little decorated card. “Dear Ms. Lee, we at Second Ring Inc were very pleased to hear your impromptu review of our products on a recent episode of ‘Welp, I Guess We’re Talking About This Now’ and wished to send you some additional items to show our appreciation. These are in no way a request for further public review,” Sunny was briefly interrupted by Joy’s disapproving snort, “but should you be interested in a partnership, we have included a phone number at which I, the chief executive officer, Lee Youngjoon, may be reached. Optionally, my username--”

Joy missed a few words as she was shocked by the extreme sound emitted by the vibrator when she pushed a button on the remote control.

“--is ‘worldsover’. As you know, Second Ring specializes in sexual wellness products, of which we’ve sent you a wide variety. They can be enjoyed by couples, or can serve as a fantastic outlet for power singles like yourself…”

Sunny trailed off. Joy was afraid she knew what was coming. “Damn, Sunny. You say so much as three words on national television and they scramble to get right up on your ass, eh?”

It was too late. Sunny was already tipping up the bottom of the soju bottle. A few drops spluttered back out of her mouth as Joy pushed it back down. “Sunny! You’ve said it yourself! You don’t want to get married!”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not still lonely!”

Joy wrapped her arms around Sunny. “You’ve got me. And a million other friends!”

“Fans don’t count.” Sunny’s voice was partially muffled by Joy’s shoulder.

“Ouch. Time for me to delete my Sone club membership. But fine. A hundred other friends. It’s not just me. It’s my members. Your members. And plenty of others. All of NCT would be--Okay, nevermind. Aespa though! They love you too.”

“But I don't want to inconvenience you." Sunny ended so matter-of-factly that Joy had to pause to process the short conversation.

"You know how… You know how you take a road trip, and there's a road block, or really bad construction, and you have to take a detour?"

"Yeah. I'm a detour."

"Come on, Sunny. What you are is the scenic route!”

There was a long silence.

“Was that the end of the metaphor?” Sunny eventually asked.

“I am very drunk.”

“You’re not that drunk.”

“Drunk enough to be shit at metaphors.”

“It’s…” Sunny extricated herself from Joy’s hug. “It’s okay. I think I know what you’re getting at, and I appreciate it. It’s just that a few words don’t really fix a brain, you know?”

Joy nodded slowly, watching as Sogeum casually stalked across the room. “Yup. But believe me. I’m here for you, at least. So if you need a friend, or some company, I’m at the top of your list.”

The cat plopped herself on the floor, right up against Sunny’s leg. Joy giggled. “Fuck off, kitty. I just said I was the top.”

It seemed the topic of conversation was ready to change. Sunny smiled, and it was enough to indicate her understanding.

“So!” Joy moved things along. “A pile of free, top of the line sex toys in your living room. What’s a young woman to do about that?”

Sunny snorted. “Well I’m not going to masturbate while I have company over, that’s for sure.” She grabbed another box from the pile and handed it over, doing her best not to disturb Sogeum’s new resting place.

The new box took mere seconds to open, this time revealing a black silicone butt plug with a red gem in the base. The casing suggested that a picture could be inserted beneath the gem, and it appeared there was one already there as an example. Joy had to flip it around to a variety of angles before she could make out that it contained a headshot of Dreamcatcher’s Jiu making finger hearts on her cheeks. She cocked her head, wondering if the image had actually been authorized.

Another box swapped between the womens’ hands. It took Joy a little longer to open than the last, but it turned out to be that way for a good reason, given that it was gently holding some fragile cargo: A red-tinted glass bottle of lube, labeled as “Juice from the Fruit of The Tree.” The lengthy product title had a snake winding through the letters.

“Well now they’re just really doubling down on this theme, aren’t they?” Sunny asked as she worked out how to open the next package, using her bottle opener as a makeshift knife.

Joy laughed and picked up yet another, now eager to see what kind of wild object it would contain. “Yeah, they really are! No lie, they’re starting to give me some ideas. Talk about sinful.”

“‘Oh I know,’” Sunny mocked the company, as SM artists often did, fingers still struggling to find their way under the first cardboard flap. “‘Let’s send Sunny a whole pile of sex junk. Bet she’s sinful enough to use it all.’ Like, come on Love-eye, or whatever your name is. What’s a single woman gonna do with all this? Hold up a pillow fort?”

“Hey, maybe he doesn’t know you’re single. Maybe there’s some stuff in here that takes two to tangle with… Fuck. Choerry’s got me using alliterations.”

Sunny barely managed to get her fingers inside the box, but her knuckles were turning white from the tightness of it. It seemed that she had left a portion of the packing tape uncut. “I said I was single on the show, though. I don’t think there will be any couples’ toys in here.”

“Oooh, I’m gonna make it a bet now.” Joy smirked. Her next sentence bypassed her verbal filter through the holes left in it by the alcohol. “If you get that thing open and there’s a strap on inside, you have to fuck me with it!”

A jerk of her arms snapped the remainder of the packing tape. Sunny chuckled. “You’re on. There’s no way it is.”

Joy had to admit that Sunny had a point, considering how small the package was. Surely it couldn’t fit a series of leather straps, or a dildo any larger than a couple of inches in any direction. The little voice in the back of her mind that told her making such an offer was stupid quieted down somewhat.

There was a moment of quiet. Sogeum rolled away from Sunny and made her way to the kitchen. Joy picked up another box, confident that she hadn’t just placed herself in an awkward situation. Sunny shook her head, amused. And then…

“J-Joy?”

Joy looked back, but wasn’t quite sure what she was looking at. It was a sort of mass of black string with some silver discs hanging off of it. Another piece of pink paper fluttered to the floor, where Joy picked it up and read aloud.

“‘The Obol.’ As Charon ferried Dante across the Styx and into the hole that is Hell, so too shall this state-of-the-art magnetic harness ferry our exclusive Dante’s Dive dildo into your… partner’s hole…”

There was more to be read, but both women seemed to get the point. The only sound in the room came from Sogeum chomping through some hard cat food in the kitchen. Slowly, their eyes raised and met. They both spoke at the same moment.

“That was a bet’s a joke bet right?”

Their drunken minds needed a moment to detangle their words into distinct sentences. Sunny’s “That was a joke, right?” and Joy’s “A bet’s a bet.”

Sunny started again first. “You know, we don’t have to.”

“I will if you want to.”

Every sentence being exchanged was followed by a palpable stillness. Joy’s heart beat loudly in her own ears, and she swore she could hear Sunny’s too.

“Do you… want to fuck me with that, Sunny?”

Sunny answered instantly. “Yup.”

There was a flurry of action, though it was slowed here and there by a tipsy stumble or two. Sunny gathered up an armful of the items on her coffee table, both sex toys and the bottle of soju, and sprinted for the bedroom. Joy rushed after her, messily attempting and failing to remove some of her clothes on the way.

Sogeum was spooked by the sudden kerfuffle and fled out of sight.

The bedroom was no less hectic. Sunny dropped everything on the bed except the soju, which she took one more swig of directly from the bottle before setting it dangerously close to the edge of her desk. She wiggled out of her shirt and bra, which attracted Joy’s attention instantly.

Joy struck at Sunny’s cleavage, wrapping her fingers as far as they could go around the legendary orbs, and her lips around one of the budding tips. Their differences in height made it awkward, but they very soon found their way to a horizontal state that eased that tension. Unfortunately, it was not on the bed, but on the floor, but they weren’t about to let something like that stop them.

What clothes they were still wearing exploded off their bodies. Joy’s shorts and shirt, Sunny’s pants and socks. All of it ended up in different sections of the room, thrown under and over furniture.

Joy was no stranger to encounters like this, and neither was Sunny. They had shared countless stories with each other… and some spit. But neither had considered their prior make out sessions to be precursors to explicitly sexual action. For her part, however, Joy considered this one differently, and Sunny’s hands searching half-blindly for Joy’s ass confirmed to her that Sunny thought the same.

Backs arched. Legs ground against one another. Open mouths met, trading the alcoholic scents that the women no longer cared to distinguish. Their minds had devoted themselves entirely to the search for physical pleasure.

A lot of exploratory prodding led Sunny’s fingers to the entrance to Joy’s pussy, failing to notice the number of pokes that ended up at Joy's exit. She took some time familiarizing herself with the drenched outer folds.

Joy, however, noticed the poking at her ass. Her mind swam with serotonin, thoughts of other people, and alcoholic fumes that seemed to rearrange the letters of her thoughts into nonsense. Or possibly into inspiration.

Inspiration relevant to the happenings at the prior year's award shows, that is.

Joy tried to pull back the moment Sunny’s fingers dipped inside her. She had opened her mouth to speak but instead groaned and arched herself further into Sunny’s grip on her sanity. "S-Sunny. B-bed."

At least that message was received loud and clear. Sunny dragged her fingers against Joy’s G-spot as she, disappointingly, pulled them out, nearly causing Joy to scream. The same fingers plunged into Joy’s mouth and quieted her as she diligently sucked her own juices from them.

The action transferred to the bed. Fingers immediately found their places again, and Joy bounced on her back in time with Sunny’s brutal shoves. Packaging bounced all around them. It was like a desperate, distracted game of Vegetable Shinobi for Joy, swiping at the jumping dildo. Sunny’s fingers were divine, eye-wateringly so, but Joy wanted something unholy.

Sunny muttered Joy’s name, catching her attention again. She lifted her head to meet for yet another imprecise kiss. Their legs twisted around each other. Joy could hear the desperation in Sunny’s moans, vibrating all the way down her throat, burning like the alcohol. She snaked a hand between them and found Sunny’s clit.

The moans freed themselves as Sunny bucked backward, almost out of Joy’s longer reach. Joy noted the exceptional reaction, and flipped Sunny onto her back, following immediately and putting herself in the position of power Sunny had initiated.

“You’re gonna fuck me with the strap on… right, Sunny?”

Sunny’s eyes widened, and she grabbed the toys.

“No, not yet,” Joy stalled in her most seductive voice. She slid down, nearly falling off the bed, and wrenched Sunny’s legs wide open with her elbows.

Sunny clenched her fingers around the hell-themed dildo for dear life. Joy’s name poured through her lips over and over again as Joy’s lips poured over her pussy.

Joy had to fight Sunny’s strength to keep her spread thighs from clamping around her head. She wanted to keep hearing her senior beg, loud and clear. To that end, she dug in her tongue, unable to penetrate far, but far enough to open Sunny up and feel the wetness flow into her mouth.

“Please… Joy… I’m close… Joy, please! Joy, don’t stop!”

The thought flitted through Joy’s head, that perhaps denying Sunny her orgasm would be fun, but something about the way she said it made Joy wonder if Sunny’s neediness was rooted in her loneliness, more than in her desire to get off. She shifted herself to wrap her arms under Sunny’s legs and pulled. It wasn’t possible for them to be any physically closer than they were, but she wanted to make it feel like they could be.

Sunny’s voice cracked, choked, and broke into a scream. Joy winced as her tongue was squeezed uncomfortably, but she wasn’t about to stop. The back arches, hair grasping, and pained gasps that followed were worth it.

Joy kept it up until Sunny’s body fell back down and her muscles relaxed. Only then, she removed herself to ask, “Need a break before my turn?”

A smile crept up Sunny’s mouth. Her fingers tightened around the dildo she still had in her hand. “Get… back down here.”

If there was any benefit Joy appreciated most about idol training, it was recovery speed, and Sunny still had it. Joy picked up the strap, quickly figuring out how it was supposed to fit and sliding it up Sunny’s legs. The motion doubled as her approach for another make out.

Of course, Joy was still immensely horny. Her interest in making out with Sunny was overshadowed by her desire to get fucked savagely, but she had the wherewithal to hold out, to let it happen naturally. She was always good at letting others take the lead. Whether they led from the top or from the bottom didn’t especially matter to her.

The alcohol made her more impatient than usual though. She forced herself to wait for the five-speed pounding she’d get, but she ground herself against Sunny’s leg in the meantime. Thankfully she didn’t have to wait long. Sunny threw her to the side and attached the vibrator to the unusual strap with very little trouble. Joy fingered herself as she watched.

“Fuck, yes, Sunny. This is going to be so goo--”

Sunny practically tackled Joy. Their lips collided again, strap hovering somewhere between Joy’s legs, but not close enough for her to feel it.

The moment she did, though, Joy grabbed Sunny’s ass and pulled. The lack of accuracy was made up for by the inhuman amount of lubrication present; both Joy’s and the curious synthetic compound that the dildo exuded seemingly of its own volition.

It was almost too much for Joy. The dildo was certainly longer than any she had used before, and bottoming out at full speed meant it hit her rather painfully in the cervix. She hissed, but otherwise just readjusted her legs in Sunny’s way to prevent the same thing from happening so easily again.

The strap held the dildo in place on Sunny’s body well. Despite its genuinely small frame, it seemed to prevent all wiggling. Every one of Sunny’s movements, including the less delicate, more intoxicated ones, translated to sensations that felt to Joy like a biologically attached dick, albeit with a plethora of extra features.

"You're so pretty, Joy," Sunny said. Even though she was doing all the work now, she wasn't nearly as winded as before. Knowing she’d affected Sunny made Joy grin into another kiss.

“No you,” Joy said with a smirk. She knew this would be good, but she truly underestimated how great it would be to see Sunny’s famous tits jiggling with the effort of fucking her. The sheen of sweat covering them would ensure the night wouldn’t be forgotten, even if Joy had another drink or two.

Joy’s first orgasm struck quickly and unexpectedly. Her breath stopped and a shudder spiked through her body from her core to the tips of her toes and fingers and head. The ability to think normally left her for a brief moment. She only kept the fleeting question of whether or not Sunny was able to feel Joy’s climax. Stars popped in and out of existence, obscuring Joy’s view of Sunny’s fantastic body.

It all faded relatively soon after, but it wasn’t enough for Joy. As soon as her lungs refilled, she screamed, “More! Sunny! Fuck me! Fuck me! Oh god!” She was practically numb everywhere, except for every square inch of her that the dildo rubbed, slid, and vibrated against. Her arms and legs wrapped around Sunny on their own.

Joy, eyes half closed, barely registered when Sunny slowed down to grab and open the extra package. She did, however, notice the sudden prodding feeling at her asshole.

“Sun--”

She couldn’t even finish Sunny’s name before something slipped its way into her butt. Her vision cleared up enough to see that even while she continued thrusting, Sunny had one hand tucked between them, and it was the source of the extra intrusion.

A couple more thrusts though, and Joy was lost to the pleasure again. She started to pant instead of scream or moan, or perhaps she was whimpering, or speaking fluent Polish. Joy couldn’t have said one way or the other. Another orgasm hit. And another. And another. She knew some time was passing between each one, but whether it was seconds or days between no longer mattered. Her mind was fading out of existence.

Until, that is, it wasn’t.

With seemingly no provocation, Joy suddenly remembered Cheungae. She had been meaning to talk to Sunny about him before they had gotten drunk. Her mind wandered, far, far more than it normally would during such intense sex.

Cheungae had taken her out several times since their first, less-than-professional meeting at the MAMAs with Wheein. Even though Joy knew he was struggling financially, he always insisted on paying for coffee, but would give up if he saw the bill when Joy took him to some of the much higher end restaurants.

He was always so polite, genuine, and humble. He didn’t even question when Joy told him they couldn’t be in a relationship, but instead insisted that they could be friends. Joy wondered if it was fair to him that she was treating him as a boyfriend in every way but name while she was still having a grand old time fucking everyone else in the industry. Cheungae knew about it, but wasn’t part of it.

And yet, sex with Cheungae made Joy feel good. Great, even. She could recreate the sensations in her mind for days afterward. His slim, toned figure hovering over her, his face contorted beautifully in adorable agony, his admittedly mediocre cock managing to hit her just right with every move. She couldn’t stop picturing him.

Another orgasm smashed through Joy’s illusion. The mental image of perfectly human Cheungae was instantly replaced with the very physical image of god-like Sunny. As tended to happen, Joy held her breath as the climax coursed through her. Her muscles contracted until she was holding Sunny in a deathly grip.

“F-fuck. Sunn-ny. Slow… slow down.”

It seemed that the request was desperately needed by both lovers, because rather than simply slow down, Sunny fell over. Joy’s pussy immediately craved to be filled again, but she knew she needed to clear her head. And besides that, she still had an odd full sensation. When her muscles relaxed enough for her to move of her own volition, she reached beneath herself and recoiled again at the feeling of a drenched butt plug. Her fingertips carried a puddle of mixed cum and lube back up.

“I’m sorry… Joy… I think that’s all I have left in me,” Sunny said between gasps.

Joy made note of her own throat and how dry it was. Whatever sound she was making while she borderline hallucinated, she’d be regretting it for a while. “All good. I was losing my sanity. That was unbelievable.”

Sunny giggled. It sounded painful. “The vibrator… or the surprise plug?”

Joy giggled back. “The plug was definitely a surprise. Was that the one with Jiu's face in it?”

“Mhm.”

“Cool,” Joy sat up, her head swimming in the aftermath. “But I just think it was you using the stuff that made it so good.”

Sunny seemed invigorated by the compliments. She smiled and reached under the bed, making some noise and bringing up a bottle of water. The two of them swapped it back and forth until it was empty and then collapsed into one another, idly feeling each others' bodies up the whole time.

“Does that mean you’re up for another… night like this? Or day?” Sunny asked as she fondled Joy’s tits. It sounded like she had sobered up, at least most of the way. Joy was too afraid of what she would see to look at a clock.

“You fucking know it,” Joy responded while she brushed her fingers up and down Sunny’s inner thighs. It was a reflex for her to agree, but she cringed inwardly as soon as she did, realizing how much more sober she had become herself, and how she wished she wasn’t. She was thinking about Cheungae again.

There was a barrage of light kisses all over her face, neck, and chest. Sunny looked far too happy for Joy to feel okay about retracting her statement.

“Maybe not right now though,” Joy said, just in case Sunny was already getting ideas. “We should really get to bed.”

She didn’t hear any arguments. They simply got up, and only long enough to flip up the duvet, flinging all of the remaining sex toys off, and jumped underneath.

It took a minute for Joy to realize she needed to remove the surprise butt plug. It was easy enough, and she ended up tossing it to the floor without looking at it.

Joy wrapped herself around Sunny. She was usually the big spoon, not that it bothered her. Sunny’s bare back felt comfortably hot against her chest and stomach. Cheungae liked being the big spoon too. He’d swap with her all the time…

“Hey, Sunny?”

“Mmm?” Sunny was on the verge of sleep, it seemed.

Joy lowered her voice, barely above a whisper. “Have you ever thought about… Settling down, I guess? Just being with one person?”

She didn’t expect Sunny to have an immense store of wisdom, but she hoped for more than what she got: a snore.

“Good night to you too, Sunny.”

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

can i say a sort of pointless rambly thing i was thinking about that i can't put under the cut bc i'm on mobile?

jk, i'm not actually asking. ramble below, not edited for clarity. the following is completely unclear and i will not fix it:

i've been thinking about how part of the reason i'm so chill about caryl is bc growing up as a queer woc 99% of my main ships were like, never gonna fucking happen bc they literally couldn't. it was like, "omg, they gazed at each other from across the room, let's analyze the homosexual subtext of this one scene for the next fifty years, that's not necessarily hyperbole." i've watched all my ships fuck other ppl/have other love interests, and i knew that my thing was never gonna be canon, so to see like, one thing being like, "one half of my ship fucked another person several years ago while pining for the other half of my ship," i'm like...#nice, bc that can and likely will be used as a plot point to get them together later on, whereas in other situations i've been in i just kinda had to deal with it. so my impulse when i see ppl losing their shit is to be like

and to be slightly annoyed, tbh, bc the ship is still on track to be canon, and it's like, literally two white heterosexuals, they're prime candidates for juicy angsty pining that actually gets a resolution.

but!

that being said, i recognize that that attitude isn't necessarily fair. for one thing, i'm not the only queer woc (or some variation thereof) in this fandom, and some ppl's impulse might be exasperation instead, bc like, "wtf, even my mayohet ship has dumb fucking drama," and that's valid as hell, and i get it.

and also, i get that, even if you didn't grow up shipping impossible ships (or mulder/scully, bc that's a brand of bullshit all its own), this has been a suuuuper drawn out process where sometimes it feels like they're legit sprinkling crumbs to keep you hooked, just to play you again, and when you are invested in something, like /rly/ invested, especially if it's a form of escapism or hyperfixation or whatever, that can be e x h a u s t i n g. and i get that. i truly do, and while i make a lot of snide comments about the fandom being bonkers, i do get where the bulk of you are coming from (unless you're one of those ppl who hate on actors and esp actresses for just doing their jobs, and attack them on social media, in which case i am very much judging you and you need to get your life together).

i also realize that in the scheme of things i'm still a newbie. i've been here, what, twoish/threeish years, whereas some of you have been here since the beginning, so i'm not as worn out as y'all. but i also think that gives me a bit of objectivity that some of y'all have (understandably) lost.

my positivity is not meant as a sleight against those of you who are feeling negative, but is more of a semi-objective viewpoint (i say semi, bc lbr, i'm invested af in this, so i definitely have bias), and to me the threads of the storyline they're crafting seem sort of obvious.

like, let's look at it, yeah? they have one season left of this show that has been on for over a decade. they need to cater to everyone to give them a satisfying ending, while still hanging on to carylers bc of the spin-off. darylrreah seems like a very calculated move, bc it gives them both something to make abcers happy, while also creating tension and suspense and pining for carylers (i think they might underestimate just how fed up some carylers are tbh, and are banking on us to hang on for one last ride, which, honestly? if they play it right will probably work.)

if they end up doing a dumb love triangle thing, which, without seeing the episode and gauging the subtext i can't confidently say if i think they will or won't, it will ultimately end in our favor. it has to, bc leah isn't going to third wheel them on the bike in the spin-off. we can say with good authority that whatever that relationship ends up being (again, idk if they'll drag it out or not) it will be temporary. which leaves caryl open to ride off into the sunset and then bone down in every state in the united states and in puerto rico for good measure.

it's a lot of cheap drama, but i really and truly do not think it's anything to worry about, and i still really and truly trust kang to not make it out of character. ik ppl still don't agree with me on that point, and i'm not gonna argue, but to me it really does make perfect sense.

and i also predict that they are gonna play it up hardcore in the promotional shit and talking dead, but when that happens, remember it's bc it gets attention. regardless of where the story is ultimately going, relationship drama gets attention, which gets viewers, which gets amc and twd producers nice and comfy with full pockets

idk. to sum up ig i just wanted to clarify that i don't mean any harm with my relentless positivity. my history in fandom has just made this seem like nothing in comparison, bc while ppl are freaking out, i'm like, "oh damn, they're actually gonna get together by the end of this, aren't they? i didn't know that could happen!" and that makes me excited instead of upset

and you definitely don't have to listen to me. maybe i'm actually wrong. maybe i'm completely full of bullshit and am just good at making things sound confident. i got a lot of As on papers in college over books i never read, i know how to bs. but i also know how to analyze, and i while i will be the first to tell you i am not the best at a great many things, i do know that i am good at critically analyzing text while taking into account the context it was written in, and imho all signs point to canon caryl. when, i'm not entirely sure, but i see it happening. if it doesn't then they severely fucked up their storytelling, and that'd just be bad writing on their part.

(if you want proof that i'm good at reading writers'/producers' intentions, consider that i watched like, 8 seasons of supernatural before giving up, and said to myself, "i think they're gonna make destiel canon, but not until the very last second bc they are rly into catering to their fans but also have to consider their dumb fanboy audience so they can't do anything crazy overtly gay," and guess who hit the nail on the fucking head on that one)

none of this is important, but it was rattling around my mind grapes and i wanted to write it down into something vaguely coherent, and where else better to do it than here. i can word vomit and then send it into the ether and pretend i never said a thing. i love this horrible website, nothing can compare

i have no real conclusion to this, it was mostly stream of consciousness, but i hope it sort of helps y'all understand where i'm coming from, and why i am as chill as i am about things. not about y'all. y'all cause me so much anxiety i get physically sick and have to legit block tags, but with the actual show content i'm zen as hell

uh

the end ig?

it feels weird even signing off on this, but w/e

-diz

[sanstropfremir]

would love to hear ur thoughts re. these street woman fighter's performances and who you would personally vote as the "better dance crew" in how they interpreted each other choreos and the song.

this was for their first elimination round (ep4) and it was interesting to hear from the judges + why they gave the points they did. (i'm not entirely sure if you're watching the show's episodes. they are roughly 2 hours long. so if you would like more context, pls let me know! i wrote brief comments underneath each one as well as the winners [spoilers ahead!]. assuming you are not: for this mission, each crew is paired with another crew and they have to choreograph one of the soloist songs. songs were "split" into two parts: part one [would be one song] and part two [another song]; one crew would choreograph one part and follow the other's crew choreograph for the other part.)

1. boa - eat you up (want choreo) + better (ygx choreo). dance crews: ygx vs want

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCfK_qWAhM0&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: ygx. boa gave 151 pts to ygx and 49 pts to want (the biggest gap in points between crews), sharing that although want choreographed eat you up, ygx was more cohesive (pointing to how want wore hats and it was messy). additionally, ygx had better stage presence and was able to capture the camera more. also, because ygx is the only crew to have a b-girl and use it in their routine, the judges applauded want for doing the best they can.

2. cl - doctor pepper (wayb) + hello bitches (prowdmon). dance crews: prowdmon vs wayb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEEpZ9SrvaE&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: prowdmon. judges shared that doctor pepper's routine is a trademark of wayb and that they should have been the standout. however, they felt like prowdmon did it better.

3. hyuna - crazy (4minute) (coca n butter) + i'm not cool (hook) + lip and hip (hook). dance crews: hook vs coca n butter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1ikpPKEA30&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: hook. the two dance crews are VERY different in terms of style. coca n butter is described to be more hip-hop while hook is definitely more reflective of the current/newer trends. (when hook was first introduced in the show, they were known as the crew who was famous only for tiktok dances.) the judges shared that hook was more fun and interesting, given their stylistic choice of wearing the pink wigs. whereas it seemed for coca n butter, they felt like something was lacking (they showed something but it didn't feel they did.)

4. jessi - what type of xx (lachica) + nununa (holybang) + gucci (holybang). dance crews: holybang vs lachica

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtZzI11oyqc&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: lachica. (this was the only battle where both crews came in v close pts. whereas for the other crews, there were huge point-gaps.) judges had a hard time choosing, sharing that for lachica they were more detail-oriented while holybang had better teamwork.

-

imo, i agree with the judges' choices. though i would have to say i think wayb did their routine (doctor pepper) better than prowdmon. they stood out to me then, but when it came to the second part (hello bitches), prowdmon was better. i loved lachica's performance - it was v clean + reminded me of something a kpop group would do (which like, the crew largely works with kpop acts like chungha, boa's better, etc. so it makes sense).

-

this was LONG. thank u if u do read it and post! i miss the kingdom "era" when u would post weekly reviews. the two are v different but this new mnet competition show is the only one i'm invested in. i'm not sure if it's big internationally? i know it is v popular in korea right now. while i've only seen i-fans talk about the show as it relates to chaeyeon (want) because she's an idol. - swf (streetwomanfighter) anon :]

omg this is so long and well organized, forget me writing reviews anon you should do it!! i'm not currently watching the full episodes but i've been catching the few clips that pop up in my youtube recommended occasionally, so i definitely don't have all the context but i'll take a crack at it!

ok so my assumption/from what i can tell, they have a bit of leeway to alter the competing group's choreo as needed to better suit numbers and formations. i also went and found the individual versions of these because why did they make them so small on the split screen, don't they know i'm old and wear glasses. also: MNET FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP MOVING THE FUCKING CAMERA. WE DO NOT NEED SCROLLING VERTICAL BOOM SHOTS OF THIS. just keep the same lens at eye level it's really not that hard. this is like, one of the worst possible ways to shoot dance it is SO annoying. ok i'm done bitching about that let's go.

1. boa - ygx vs want i agree with the big point gap on this one, and i think want made a couple of choices that were not cohesive enough, and obviously they also got set up to fail by ygx. actually i think both groups made choices that were not particularly good, but ygx had more of the skills to back up what they were doing than want did. breaking is very difficult and requires a lot of upper body strength and a higher centre of gravity, which are two physical traits that are less common in women. personally i wouldn't have tried to break to better because although boa songs do have more of a beat than other idol music, it's still not at all the right type of music for breaking. it's gotta be fast, breakers rely on speed, because it's all about momentum; they're literally throwing themselves around the stage. here's the final from battle pro 2019 for example. the music is basically beats only; heavily lyric based music, like idol music, is bad for battling in general because there isn't a lot of consistency. i have more to say about this but i'm getting off track. basically by choosing to handicap the other team (because they don't have a bgirl at all) they shot their own bgirl in the foot because the song is too slow to properly show off her skills. i applaud want for making bold choices, like the hatwork and attempting the breaking, but ultimately when combined with their styling the performance looks disjointed. also they have some formation cohesion issues that make it look a bit like they'e struggling to keep up, even with their own choreo.

2. cl - prowdmon vs wayb i agree with the judges, i think prowdmon bodied the wayb choreo. i actually thought that was their choreo at first. they have the best presence that i've seen of all the groups and the performative "hard bitch" attitude fit in with their genre setting. wayb had several mistakes and synchronization issues that in my opinion made them look sloppy in comparision to prowdmon, who were sharper and had two more people to put into formations. 3. hyuna - hook vs coca n butter ok personally i don't like either of these choreos, but i'm agreeing with the judges here, i think hook's was the mildly more engaging. i can tell that they're very young and do mostly short form tiktok content because i see a lot of eye catching moves, but i don't see a lot of strong connective tissue between those moves. they have good ideas but they also really struggle with putting people into formation and balancing it out well. it doesn't help that they're a seven member crew going up against a four member one, so they have three extra people to figure out what to do with. there's a lot of empty space where there are members waiting in position for a group formation. it also doesn't help at all that they (mnet) appear to just be rawdogging the songs together without any kind of mixing, which is a huge detriment to groups that have to choreograph for two in their section. i'm not cool and lip and hip have two totally different feels and kudos to hook for at least trying to get them to at least visually be cohesive when mnet is go girl giving us nothing sonically. coca n butter has much more of an old school hip hop style, so putting these two up against each other was (probably a random lot draw) an interesting choice. personally i would have been more interested to see hook against want with the boa tracks and ygx against coca n butter with the hyuna tracks. however, i think the reason why coca n butter's stage felt like it was lacking is because they tried to emulate hyuna, without having the stage presence or the weirdness of hyuna. it feels like they're trying too hard and there isn't really any personal character in the piece, versus with hook, who embodied hyuna's weirdness a little more authentically and took a completely different direction. 4. jessi - lachica vs holybang lachica took this one easily, although their formations were a bit wonky for nununana, they covered it fairly well and i think they managed the best transition between songs (between nununana and gucci). they were sharper with good stage pictures and had a good gimmick with the double fringe on the gloves and hats. holy bang had some issues fitting their extra person into the what type of x choreo, but they did well with their own choreo. however, like with coca n butter and hook, because lachica took a new visual spin, this felt too derivative of jessi, so it wasn't that interesting for me to watch. i do think they are one of the groups on the stronger end of skills and presence. --- as far as visually what performances i liked the best, since would this even be a writeup by me if i didn't talk about design, here's a quick breakdown:

prowdmon - got some rudimentary setpieces, got a theme, got some fun variations on a uniform look; excellent for what i assume was limited budget capacity and also it's a dance crew show.

lachica - great continuity of effect in costuming with the fringe, and using the gloves as a mouth/lip effect was one of the most interesting choices of these routines.

hook - the pink wigs and the black latex on the checkered floor was a nice gimmick that was a bit of a nod to hyuna's weird without being too derivative. i'm not expecting a whole lot because these are dance crews but i think this was a decent amount of styling effort.

want - they made a bold choice with the hats and even though it didn't quite pay off for them i still respect it.

coca n butter/ygx/holybang/wayb - ygx and wayb did basic hip hop type styling and while it's absolutely fine, it's just boring. holybang went for a directly inspired jessi look, and although yes bodysuits, overall it wasn't that interesting either. coca n butter get props for doing a costume change and actually incorporating that into the choreo but it feels too much like it's trying to be hyuna weird with the caution tape strapped over their tits and asses.

---

as a final note/question to you, my lovely invested swf anon, what's the format of the show? are there stages like this every episode to review? if these were from the fourth one only, is there anything worth me reviewing in the first three? i'm not particularly interested in the aggressive competitive nature of the show and editing so i don't particularly want to watch the full two hour episodes, but if you think it's worthwhile for me to review stuff then i will. otherwise if there's a set structure (like with kingdom) i can seek out the stages specifically and review them if i know what i'm looking for.

[vaguely-concerned]

R-r-r-rewatch thoughts for The Mandalorian S2 Ep2

(or Chapter 10 as they seem resolved to call it)

- can I just express my joy for a moment that in one episode we get peli, the answer to my pleas for female representation in the ‘sketchy middle aged car mechanic’ niche, and a female alien designed with no consideration towards sexiness. (I mean I’m sure there’s someone. There is always someone somewhere on the Internet, is the bitter truth history has shown to us. but it’s not the intention behind the design haha)  

- they do take great pains to deliberately show you boba’s armour several times both in the recap and in the episode itself, so never despair he is very likely still on his way onto our screens once more

- this dude holding the baby hostage wanting specifically the jetpack in exchange is the one (1) break this whole episode gave din lol 

also the Patented Mando Finger Curl of Stress while he talked softly and calmly to not promp this asshole to make a sudden move... the most endearing character tic, I love my space cowboy dad so much 

- fun continuity detail: din is all out of whistling birds now, and you can see it here!

I wonder if he could still use the same mechanism with different ‘ammo’, it’s just not as effective? from the way the armorer spoke whistling birds seem quite rare and it would be an inefficient use of beskar if that’s the only thing it can be loaded with

 - I love how after the last episode, a 50 min epic with a bunch of original trilogy significance and impressive technical achievements and exciting character reveals, I was like ‘yeah okay I suppose that is quite interesting’, and this mess/comedy of inconveniences is the thing that fully makes my brain tip into the obsessive ‘BABY AND DAD SHOW!! BABY AND DAD SHOW!!!!!’ mind state lol

- ah the traditional ‘mando trudging slowly but steadily through the desert’ montage we all love to see (I hope this is going to be a Thing for the second episode of every season from now on) 

Also I assume his suit has some sort of temperature regulation built in and that’s how he didn’t, y’know. die under the blazing desert sun

-

CAT FIGHT CAT FIGHT man I love the jawa. also mando doesn’t even glance over at them, really emphasizing how he’s like. done with this entire day (and it’s all barely even getting started din! i’m sorry)

 yodito’s look in this scene tho... he’s like ‘we’ve Seen some shit lady’ (actually I think he’s staring at ‘dr mandible’ like O___o. it’s been a long day for a lil boy) 

you get to see dr mandible’s cards a few times, so I assume anyone who knows the rules of... sabacc? probably? could figure out beforehand that he was in a bad spot. (the star wars fanbase is one of those where I KNOW the rules exist somewhere, and I know people who know those rules exist too)  

- that sound the baby keeps making -- the ‘boo-a’, sometimes with a p-sound at the end -- if that’s the precursor to him saying any variation whatsoever of ‘dad’ or ‘papa’ or ‘baba’ or even ‘buir’ or anything, I will die. I will sink to the ground in a heap and never get up (the way he keeps seeking out gaze contact with the helmet and seems perfectly satisfied with it too... fasdhfaskdjhl my FEELINGS)

- it seems confirmed in this ep that the mandos who died on nevarro did so while holding off the enemy so the rest(probably especially the children) could get away; some of them appear to have escaped. which I guess is a small relief

- 

frog lady stepping out of the shadows and into our hearts

I like that her firm nod after Peli translates ‘her husband has seen them’ lets us know she understands... basic? is that the common tongue thing in star wars there’s just so many to remember across fandoms lol? perfectly well, even if she can’t speak it. 

- mando might be running low on ammo for the pulse rifle, if the fact that he hasn’t replaced the missing cartridge on his... bandolier belt thingy is any indication

ETA: actually ignore me this has been a thing since the literal first episode of the show my brain just had a hiccup lol

- so baby seems to use a little bit of the force to pull the eggs towards him -- I wonder how often he ‘taps into it’ or if it’s always ‘on’ in the background for him. if so I guess there’s no wonder he’s so hungry (but also... kid you can’t end this lady’s entire family line like that one cat who singlehandedly made extinct a whole species of bird! D:)

- din so rarely gets openly angry, he just gets passive aggressive and grumpy. and that’s probably not the healthiest way to deal with things but I love him

- frog lady reacts so strongly to when din sends the ping when nothing else woke her up, I wonder if she can hear more frequencies than a human

- 

hello darkness my old frieeennnddd

- 

proof nr 1508 that din does not starve this baby you guys, he even has his own little tray just the right size for him! as it happens the baby simply seems to prefer eating things that are... still alive in some capacity. which, uh. maybe they can invest in some form of non-sentient crickets or something for him to hunt down and.... oh dear

- 

Look how they massacred my boy

By the way I finally managed to put into words why the Razor Crest -- and particularly the way it keeps getting beaten to hell and back and patched up again --  is so symbolically important and meaningful to me in this show in this post over here! it’s always a great relief to me when I can finally understand what the hell I’ve been going on about all this time and this was one of those lol

-  honestly if it weren’t for frog lady and (more importantly) the baby I think there’s a slight chance din would’ve gone ‘well I had a good-ish run of it for a while there’ and just let the ice claim him haha   

- “Why don’t you come over here and give me a hand. Make yourself useful” This is the one time in the episode I think he crosses the line into just being a dick for a moment (but noticeably the baby isn’t just a little hurt at this reaction, he’s clearly surprised and confused, which means this really does not happen often. after the time mando’s been having recently I guess a moment’s snappishness is understandable haha. he does follow up right after with being much more responsive and attentive when the baby toddles away from him, so it feels like it’s going to be okay)

also the ‘boo-ap’ sound is there again when he’s trying to get din’s attention. just sayin’ 

when din comes over to see the footprints baby makes a declarative little meep like ‘see??? I did tell you!’ haha

- it is very funny that mando is using all his technology meant to track down dangerous bounties in the grungy depths of the criminal underworld... to find a naked lady just chillin’ in a hot spring 

- 

cue the ‘father is evil?’ memes fsadfda. actually the funniest thing about this moment (apart from the fabulous finger acting) is that din actually snatches a few eggs out of the baby’s reach more subtly right before, and that baby only whines for ALL OF ONE SECOND before he goes to sniff around for other food possibilities fkadfhjkds. from my experience with human children he’s a lot less prone to tantrums. yodito doesn’t get mad, he gets even 

- baby running towards din through the hatching spiderlings like ‘DAD I FUCKED UUUUUUP’, din’s little strangled ‘ngh’ sound as he picks the baby up and watches all the creepy crawlies come out... *chef kiss* impeccable 

(that little ‘ngh’ and the soft shocked ‘ah ah AH!’s from when he goes flying at the beginning of the episode... pedro pascal and his voice work for this character gives me so much life. in some ways din has this sort of dignity and grace and in other ways he uh extremely doesn’t. he gets to be cool but also vulnerable in ways a lot of male main characters don’t and it’s probably why I love him so much) 

btw here is that moment when din moves to hold the baby tightly against him with both hands as the big spider appears, because it gets me right in the heart... it such an instinctive thing of holding on to the dearest thing you’ve got before something bad is about to happen

fdsafhsdakjlfhsdkjlhfsdajhf oh my god the baby is clutching din’s finger with his little hand during the chase!!!! 😭😭😭

this FUCKING SHOW has just WEAPONIZED putting in small details everywhere to convey the love and tenderness and attachment felt by a little muppet doll even where only weirdos like me will frame by frame their way through the video to see it I am so MAD

- frog lady going ‘fuck this’ and bounding along is  e v e r y t h i n g 

- din is an amazing shot, though, he doesn’t seem to miss a single one in this whole scene (then again there’s something to shoot at basically everywhere one can take aim so lol)

-

baby hiding behind/half hugging din’s boot as he tries to get the doors closed hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can’t breathhhhheeeee 

honestly every single one of the baby’s proximity seeking behaviours in this ep has me on my knees 

- it’s very unfair to play the heroic happy mando music like everything is going to be fine and then have a huge fuck-off spider drop down from the ceiling and break it off mid-tune, the mandalorian, you have trained me in certain ways and now do you betray me??? how can I trust again

- the camera work in the scene with the new republic guys gives such a good sense of the discomfort of being judged from on high by someone or something you can’t really see -- the glare of the lights blocking out everything in the shots from din’s pov makes it feel like a tense interrogation (the new republic dude who is actually dave filoni has such a look of fondness as he watches din tho it’s kind of sweet)

- ...oh no I think baby was actually considering munching on that dismembered spider leg YODITO NO JUST EAT YOUR KRAYT DRAGON BABY

- hngh this is a weird filler episode and it has my entire heart. I suspect we might get some episodes of a more stationary baby between active ones like this -- you can tell a little bit in this episode that especially having him running around fast is quite difficult to have look natural, they likely save that effort up for when it best serves the narrative  

[re-diesirae]

PART II PROLOGUE

"As wave is driven by wave

And each, pursued, pursues the wave ahead,

So time flies on and follows, flies, and follows,

Always, for ever and new. What was before

Is left behind; what never was is now;

And every passing moment is renewed."

― Ovid, Metamorphoses

A voice echoed through the white painted corridors soothed by the soft sound of a music box.

A place filled by solitude; the cries of desperation, fear, and the agony of loss.

Her hand caressed the cold surface of the music box, the small ballerina in it spinning at the melody, she once knew, until it came to a stop.

She heard the keys; she heard the whispers; she heard the mutters...

When the door opened ...

Her pain began.

1. Jill

November 5th, 2016. 8: 00 A.M.

The blond woman passed the security stand, smiling at the friendly guard who had received her. After the kidnapping incident, TerraSave had become warier about their security. Entering the building became a tedious procedure, but she was a regular visitor, and her BSAA badge helped a lot.

It had been eight months since the incident in Germany and Claire's death. Her loss had been a big hit, not only TerraSave but to BSAA, too. That without counting the emotional turmoil that the news had caused. She knew, from Chris, that his sister was always good at leaving marks on people. She hadn't had the chance to get to know the girl well since their schedules were busy all the time, but the people who did know her seemed deeply affected. Chris entered a state of depression that was even worse than the episode he'd suffered in Edonia, but in this case, he had not drowned himself in alcohol. She guessed that he did it in his sister's memory. The girl had hated his drinking habits, after all. The Burton family had seemed affected, as well. Barry had made silent mourning, but his daughter had cried a lot, and even half a year after, some things could still trigger her tears. Then there was Leon, he too, was a silent mourner, but Jill was good at reading people, and she could tell that, after Chris, he was the most affected one. Even the workers in TerraSave are still mourning. They had not chosen a new head to replace Claire, and so BSAA had been handling things until they decided for someone to take over.

Jill pressed the button in the elevator and waited. Her frequent visits were usually to check on things in the place, but today it was different. She had received an urgent call from their chief, summoning an emergency meeting. He gave her no details, but the message said that she had to report to TerraSave HQ immediately. When the door of the elevator opened, she found the familiar figure of Chris standing in front of a wall. He was watching it with a pained expression, and Jill felt her heart shrink.

It was the memorial wall. At least that was how everyone in TerraSave called it. The wall had been Claire's idea, from what she'd heard. She recalled the voice of Dr. Hiwamura as she had explained to her some months ago, on her first check visit.

"Claire thought it was just a good way to honor the fallen. Most of these people died without leaving a body behind, and most have no graveyards or family to mourn them properly. She said real heroes are not always remembered, and that at least we should give them the honor they deserved as a big family. "

The Memorial Wall was something simple. It was a wall filled with pictures of TerraSave agents who had died in action, and there was a table where people could leave flowers or other gifts. The most recent photo, of course, was Claire's. She saw the pretty portrait set on the table, and she noticed that, unlike the rest, her picture was not placed on the wall.

"Claire was always good at fooling us with her deaths. Some of us still find it hard to accept it was real this time, so no one has had the heart to hang it. Hanging it would somehow mean she is gone while having it there is like she'd come to the office one morning and shout at us for slacking off. You may think it's stupid, but people should reach acceptance, slowly."

Jill could understand, though; she put her hand on Chris's shoulder and looked at the pretty picture on the table. Someone had placed a small bouquet of orchids next to the photo.

"You got her flowers today?" she asked, surprised.

Chris shook his head.

"No, it wasn't me. I guess one of her subordinates left it here this morning. A close friend, probably. Orchids were her favorite, but not many knew that." Chris replied softly.

Jill squeezed the man's shoulder comfortingly.

"What are you doing here? Came to see her?" she asked.

"No, not today," Chris said, putting his hands in his pockets, "I got a call from Adams, something about an urgent meeting. I just thought of passing since I was here."

"You, too, huh? I wonder what this is about…"

The pair walked to the meeting room and knocked. A voice, that they recognized as their chief's, told them to come in, and they pushed the door open. Jill was surprised to see that not only they had not been the only ones called to the meeting. Beside their Chief, Edward Adams, there was TerraSave CEO, Ian Wentworth; the new Security secretary of the U.S, Renard Hopkins; Dr. Hiwamura, Barry, and Leon, too.

"Ah good, Valentine and Redfield. We were expecting you. Please take a seat, would you?" Adams said, signaling the two empty seats at his left.

Jill and Chris sat down, exchanging quizzical looks with the rest of the present. None of them seemed to have any idea about the reasons for the meeting.

"I believe most of you are thrilled to know the reason we have summoned you here." Adams said, reading their thoughts, " I am sorry that this meeting came up unexpectedly, and I apologize if it interrupted any important task."

She saw the man look apologetically at Leon. The man nodded in reply, and she guessed that he was probably in some important assignment when he'd gotten called out.

"However, we considered that you need the first to be notified due to the circumstances…" the man continued.

"What circumstances are you talking about? I am not very patient, and you should know that already, Ed," Barry groaned.

"Yes, of course, I do, Barry. Let me fill you in about this. Yesterday we received an urgent report from a TerraSave/ BSAA team stationed in Cardigan Bay, Wales.

Adam pushed a set of folders at them. Jill flipped some of its pages, reading some random lines. It was a regular report of a sea patrol, but the words "Sea Wreck" and "Survivor" caught her attention.

"Four days ago, the sea-patrolling team found a body floating at the coast: a female in her 30's, barely alive, severely wounded, and highly dehydrated. She was taken to a TerraSave Health Center in the area immediately. She had no identification on herself, but a rescuer from the station seemed to know her."

"Oh…?" Barry frowned.

"There is a picture of her at the end of the file," Adams clarified.

Jill flipped to the end of the folder, and her eyes went wide in shock. The woman in the picture had her face covered in bruises and cuts that made her features barely recognizable, her hair was shorter, but it was still the same burgundy color she remembered.

"She said her name was Claire Redfield."

A heavy silence filled the room, and Jill could believe what she'd just heard. Claire Redfield? Was that even possible? When the Manor exploded. There's no way that someone survived that explosion, especially with the wound she had sustained and the cleanup team hadn't found any corpse, but still, even if she had managed to escape from that place alive, how had she ended up in Wales?

"Sir…?" Chris mumbled.

"I know, Chris. We have already arranged for a DNA test to confirm it."

"What if she is a clone...made up by Neo-umbrella?" Leon's voice muttered, "They have done it, and DNA would match."

Jill's heart broke. Among all the present, Chris and Leon were probably the ones who would be the happiest with the news, but their past experiences made them untrustful. It was painful to see that among them, both seemed to be the most skeptical.

"There's a way to...corroborate if it isn't a clone." Dr. Hiwamura said, and everyone in the room turned to her.

"Please, elaborate," Hopkins said with interest.

"Cloning searches to reproduce healthy cells, so naturally, pathologies wouldn't be copied unless it was genetic. If the pathology originated from external factors, it can't be copied."

"My sister was healthy...what are you trying to say?" Chris said with a frown.

"She was a carrier of remnants of the T-Phobos," Hiwamura said, crossing her arms, "She was infected with an inactive strain of the virus."

"Wait, what?" Barry snapped, "she got the antiviral, just like Moira and Natalia. Does that mean…?"

"Moira and Natalia are clean. The vaccine was developed based on the virus we found in Claire's body. She volunteered to be the test subject at the time, so the final version of the drugs did not affect her infection. We have to keep track of it. That was one of the main reasons why I got transferred here. The virus exists in Claire's body. However, it's lost its infectious capacity. It keeps invading cells and replicating, but her immunological system neutralizes the excess of sick cells. That prevents it from growing into infective doses..."

"What are you suggesting, Dr. Hiwamura?"

"If she got cloned, her immunological system would have been reset, and even if they had infected the "new" version with a sample of T-Phobos, the virus would be active, unlike the one infecting Claire. What happened to Claire was an ecological adaptation. To put it simply, unless they had a clone go through a physiological restrain that she went through and under a replica of conditions, the probability of them generating the same reaction is impossible."

"Wait, are you telling me that she was infected by a variation of the t-virus all this time? Damn, that's probably the reason she got targeted eight months ago. How can you tell us this now?" Chris snapped, hitting the table.

"We kept it secret for the same reason." Wentworth said, shaking his head, " When I talked to Claire two years ago, she told me she wanted it that way. Besides Dr. Hiwamura, the men sitting here, and Claire herself. No one knew of this fact. The information was classified, even to her friends to prevent something like that from happening."

"If she knew...then why didn't she get someone to protect her? Fuck! This could have been prevented…" Chris cursed.

"Chris, calm down…" Jill said, pulling his arm and trying to convince him to sit down again.

"She rejected the idea. Bodyguards would have attracted unnecessary attention. I don't think that Claire suspected this to be the reason behind her abduction either."

Chris did not reply. He clenched his fist in anger.

"Dr. Hiwamura, is it a trustworthy way to confirm Ms. Redfield's identity?" Hopkins asked.

"I am 99% sure, sir. I'd need to do the test."

"And...could you do that if we send you there?"

"Well, if you can drag the whole lab there, yes."

"Guess that's a no. We need to bring the woman here." Adams muttered.

"I am sure I can contact the local consulate for help." Hopkins said, "However, will she be in condition for the trip?"

"Was….she injured badly?"Jill asked.

"Yes, according to the medical report attached. It's a miracle that she is still alive." Wentworth sighed, " Multiple lacerations in her body, including organ damage. She lost a lot of blood, and some of her injuries got infected due to seawater. There are more details inside those files."

"There was evidence of a struggle. It's a fair guess that she escaped from someone or from somewhere."

Jill was starting to see what all this conversation was going to be.

"Sir, you don't think..." Jill began.

"Claire is a tough cookie…" Barry commented, "always was, always will be. Wherever she was, you can bet that she did not sit down like a docile pup."

Jill knew that Barry was probably right. If Claire had been in a difficult spot, the woman would definitely fight her way out.

"Sir, any idea of where she came from?" Jill asked.

"Unfortunately no, the first assumption was that she'd come from a wrecked ship, but the theory was later refuted when the rescuer recognized her. Listen, I understand this news must be shocking, but if this woman is indeed Claire Redfield. There's no doubt that there is some sort of bioterrorist hazard associated. I want you to go there and investigate the area. See if you find any clues."

Adams looked at the three BSAA agents, and they nodded.

"Agent Kennedy." Hopkins spoke to the blond, who had stayed quiet until then, "Your orders have changed. This woman has been labeled as an especial witness. You will go as a representation of both the DSO and USA, and we don't know what sort of things she might have gone through. We all agreed that it'd be better if the escort was to be someone she knew."

"I understand." the blond nodded.

"As for Dr. Hiwamura…"

"I'll check her state, yes."

"Very well, you leave today at noon. Please make the proper preparations.

NOTE: if you guys want to come and chat about the fic, or just about CLEON in general. Feel free to drop by the discord and say hi! JOIN SERVER

[ionfusionpunk]

The Bad Batch: IMO

So! I watched the Bad Batch! TL;DR at the end 🙃

Ngl, and please don't bash me for this, but I haven't actually finished TCW? My mom and I are still only a couple episodes into season 1, but we're also trying to watch the episodes in chronological order, not release order, plus we're both busy people, so. Kinda hard. Means I haven't watched Season 7, yet, ergo I haven't watched the episode where we meet the Bad Batch. But like anyone embroiled in this fandom, I still know a fair bit about them/what happens.

I'm a little disappointed that Crosshair is the bad guy. Like, I get he's cranky? And I'm all for angst for any character, but, like. Based off the explanation they give in-show, Wrecker would have been an equally valid choice for the chip sorta working, imo. More valid, even, bc his genetic mutation has less to do with his brain directly in the same way Tech's, Hunter's, and Crosshair's mutations do.

Speaking of Wrecker, the Big Brute act? Nah. Not A Fan. I have multiple relatives on the spectrum (ASD), and I was honestly expecting Wrecker to come across like my brother does? i.e. he understands better if we don't layer our conversation with sarcasm/implications/subtext? But that doesn't make him dum, just less socially... proficient? ept? Smooth as everyone else.

Kay. Now, touching on the whitewashing, since this topic is gonna be everywhere. Look, I absolutely 100% agree that Filoni did us Dirty with how the clones all look. Echo, my poor child, you should have more melanin. Everyone, unless you have specific mutations, should have more melanin. They should also look younger, look more like Temuera, etc. etc. But. I don't stan hate of anyone on this blog, okay? We don't know why the choice to whitewash was made. I don't agree with it, but we shouldn't just hate on Filoni for that. In regards to the BB specifically, yes they could have chosen to alter appearances to be more politically correct. Consider though: identical art style connects BB directly back to TCW; art style makes the character immediately more familiar to younger/older/less involved viewers who otherwise won't have much of an opinion on the Dirty done. Please also consider that someone on the production team may have wanted to do right by our boys but for whatever reason were unable to this or the first time around, and that doesn't automatically make it Filoni's fault. Just... don't judge? Don't hate. There's enough of that in the world that I'll happily settle for disappointment and correcting my art to reflect what I believe the clones should have looked like.

Full disclosure, I in fact created a cis-female clone character a couple months ago. She was part of the Alpha batch and the first female mutation, and the trainers, looking upon her as lesser, took to calling her Omega as an insult. After proving she was very much a BAMF, she chose the name Oma and later became the Alpha trainer of other clones with mutations, including several with different intensities of albanism, vitiligo, neurodivergency, Force sensitivity, etc. I really like her and think she's a cool gal. (I don't have any art of her yet, unfortunately.)

On Omega: I adore her, okay? I love how she was copying Hunter it was so cute - akaskdjhf. And, like, is she Force Sensitive? Oh please oh please oh please let her be.

Now, I've seen some stuff about how another Dirty was done in 'bending over backwards' to make her female when she could have just been trans? Alright, look, I'm not gonna disagree, because you're right, but I also refuse to agree, because look: cloning isn't an exact science, even for the Kaminoans. Look at all the mutations they had. From what I understand (I'm no expert, so don't quote me on this, but also feel free to drop me some resources), it's not impossible, improbable, or unreasonable to assume that amongst alllll the clones created, a small percent didn't mutate female. Assuming that Jango was Near-Human, at least (the Kaminoans could have altered the alien DNA out of the base coding), the clones would have started as female fetuses before the Y-chromosome kicked in, right? That's how that works for us regular humans afaik. On top of that, there are exceptions to that rule, because then you have other mutations like mutations in the SRY gene or variations in the number of the sex chromosomes themselves, etc. Basically what I'm getting at is that there should have been more cis-fem clones, but chances are most of them were decommed or forced to undergo trans therapy (is that what you call it? Idk, I'm sorry, don't mean to offend). Omega most likely wasn't engineered to be female; she probably had extra mutations on top of that to make her more desirable to the Kaminoans to keep around for study (e.g. her Force sensitivity???).

On a final note, to end this with my Writer Brain, I would love to see them portray the side-affects of their mutations. Just - chef's kiss.

TL;DR: Dirties were done. Wrecker isn't stupid. Crosshair probably wasn't the best choice for villain, though Angst is Life and is Good. Whitewashing is a problem, but I am Aware of it and can keep myself from making the same mistakes while still enjoying SW content. And while it would have been nice to see a trans clone character, it's okay that Omega isn't, because the choice actually makes sense bc of Science. Have a lovely day :)

[armorsleevedsinglehit]

the huge shippuden music meta

no one asked for this but i’m gonna write it anyway. i’m going to focus primarily on the shippuden soundtrack here, but expect some references to the original series soundtrack as well. also before i begin i know approximately two (2) music so some of my terminology is probably going to be incorrect lol, it’s been a while since college. this is a general shippuden meta but it does focus on the uchiha clan, in particular sasuke and madara.

anyway, to start off, you can pretty easily divide the shippuden soundtrack into a few general categories:

traditional and/or acoustic

electric guitar tracks

some combination of these, plus orchestra hits aplenty

there are a few odd ducks here and there, but no worries, we’ll get to them. and then within these general categories we have a series of recurring character motifs (which can be a bit muddled, because certain themes are used for multiple characters. i assume that naruto (the show) isn’t necessarily scored the way a film would be, and so the directors just slapped whatever dramatic/sad/upbeat music they could find onto a scene, esp if it’s a filler ep, which definitely generates some confusion.) but characters and groups in shippuden DO sort of get their own motifs and themes, so here is my very basic list of those as well:

uzumaki clan and its descendants/allies: “emergence of talents/hyakkaryōran” has a very cool melody towards the end that comes back in “narukami/weeping god” and “shoryu/rising dragon”. we can basically call this the protagonist theme. naruto, sakura, kakashi, jiraiya, most of the konoha 11, and even minato get to claim this one. however, VERY interestingly, narukami is what plays when tobi (as madara) is telling sasuke about the glory days of the uchiha clan... possibly hinting at greater connections between the two clans???????????

akatsuki-related themes: i won’t link a ton of these because they’re super obvious. they’re often full of choir and organ (harkening back to orochimaru’s original series theme); they also tend to be slower. not always, though; look at crimson flames, a slapper if i ever heard one. prime example of akatsuki themes: girei, my FAVORITE bit of the shippuden soundtrack. UGH.

general shippuden themes: things like hurricane suite, heaven-shaking event, etc. most of the first ost goes in here. this category also contains the closest approximation to hashirama’s theme that i could find, experienced many battles and departure to the front lines, which both make me cry lol

there are other fun little motifs and bits and bobs that appear in this soundtrack that i won’t get into here for length (remind me to talk about the angelic herald of death sometime), but it’s a remarkably cohesive piece of work to the point where it gets repetitive sometimes; why are all the super interesting tracks unreleased!!!!??? anyway the purpose of this meta is to attempt to make sense of the way this soundtrack works. we’ll investigate sasuke primarily because i feel that he really ties the whole soundtrack together, and you can extrapolate a lot from the way his theme evolves.

sasuke’s theme (wandering/hyouhaku), yes the dramatic cowboy music theme, is this wonderfully atmospheric track that makes use of the kind of negative space between guitar strums to build up this aura, this Essence of Sasuke. this alone makes it stand apart from other mostly-acoustic pieces on the soundtrack, to me. the whole thing is just humming with this simmering frustration and melancholy and it really gives you a sense of sasuke as this tortured figure who has been severely wronged and experienced the world’s faults firsthand. notably, this version of sasuke’s theme lifts its opening notes (and structure, sorta) from sasuke’s original series theme, which i assume was on purpose. it shows that he’s grown jaded as he got older, i think.

anyway, as the inevitable battle between sasuke and itachi draws closer, we get our first variation on sasuke’s theme: black spot/kokuten. it has the same melody and structure as before, but features heavier guitars, more orchestration, and, in the final bars, notes that previously fell on 1 and 4 but now fall on 1 and 3, which bring a heightened sense of urgency to the whole thing. and more importantly, it ends without resolving itself? it leaves us hanging on this almost call-and-response bit with one wailing guitar after another, before winding the orchestration down and fizzling back down to the level of “wandering.” here we see a sasuke in progress, if you will, working towards a goal that some may find sinister, but he is determined if nothing else, and the instruments match his fervor. it’s roughly analogous to “crimson flames” in terms of intensity, but it’s very distinctly Sasuke.

there are several more variations of sasuke’s theme floating around, but the next one i want to talk about is this one called “sasuke’s ninja way,” apparently, never officially released but relentlessly employed by the anime directors. it takes a more subtle turn than “black spot,” but i don’t see it as a direct sequel to “wandering” for a few different reasons. i think it represents the dilemma sasuke found himself after finally killing itachi and learning the truth about him: the realization that this whole quest for power of his was never really about revenge on one specific person, but rather about reforming the shinobi world as a whole. it’s slower than “black spot,” yet darker, more ominous; it treads the same general path as “wandering” but with added electric guitar, and, notably, choir. recall that choir is often used for themes related to the akatsuki, which i think ties in neatly with sasuke’s motivations at this point. he, like nagato before him, wants to remake the world.

the final iteration of sasuke’s theme, “sasuke’s revolution/junkyousha,” brings it all together. the akatsuki is commonly represented through choir and organ, and this theme starts out with both of these cranked up to the max. this is (pardon the pun) sasuke’s rebirth, if you will. just combine the intensity of “girei,” the anger of “crimson flames,” and the determination of “emergence of talents” and you’re there. seriously: this culmination of sasuke’s character development basically pulls from every single facet of the soundtrack and produces this MASSIVELY rich piece full of anger and rage and hate and fury, while STILL managing to include the twangy guitar bits from “wandering” (which have gone back to 1 and 4!!). we also have someone going ham on a shamisen towards the end of the track, which calls to mind the shamisen solo from “emergence of talents” and other tracks. hinting at an eventual compromise with naruto, possibly?

anyway, i started out this meta trying to find a piece of the soundtrack that could serve as madara’s theme, but i wasn’t sure that one existed. i think the susano’o has a theme, and the uchiha clan has a theme, but....madara just doesn’t?? sure there are unreleased tracks like “legendary uchiha,” but i’d argue that doesn’t really go into his character as much as it just says “watch out for this fucking guy.”

but then i listened to hurricane suite one more time, and i was like HOLY SHIT THIS IS IT. for one thing, it’s long as fuck: this track is a whole journey. it really gives the impression of someone who has lived an impossibly long life and become jaded and cruel and hardened. i realize that the argument could be made that hurricane suite is sasuke’s theme, not madara’s, or that it’s a general shippuden theme and doesn’t represent one character in particular. and yes, i think both of these interpretations are correct. hurricane suite represents what sasuke could POTENTIALLY turn out to be, given his evolution from “wandering” to “black spot” to “sasuke’s ninja way” all the way to “sasuke’s revolution.” hurricane suite warns us that sasuke can (and very well may!) make the same mistakes madara did and end up destroying himself in the process. (the middle of “hurricane suite” GREATLY resembles “wandering.”) and recall that hurricane suite is used in the very first episode of shippuden: the episode where naruto encounters sasuke for the first time, AND- are you ready for this- when madara’s name is dropped for the first time in the series.

this is why i think that, along with it being a general shippuden theme, hurricane suite is also madara’s theme. shippuden as a whole is practically suffocating under the oppressive weight of madara’s presence, right from the very first episode. even before he’s introduced, he is VERY much there. so much of madara’s character is established before he even shows up. we hear so much about him from other characters (kurama, itachi, obito, hashirama), and as such our view of madara changes drastically over the course of the series. and guess what plays when itachi shows sasuke that genjutsu of madara stealing izuna’s eyes?

anyway, in my opinion and in my interpretation of the character, the music fits him perfectly. it starts out all low and choral with these slow ominous drums and deep strings, and this violin comes in that sounds like it’s weeping. we hear something like a heartbeat that grows darker over time, before the music comes to some sort of resolution, an inflection point, and the brass comes in heavy. NOW we’re dealing with the orchestra, three quarters of the way into the song, and we’ve got strings and drums set to a marching pace, more choral chanting, climbing strings and shamisen tumbling down the scales. it sounds like grief!!

and note that yes, this track is used in the very first episode of shippuden, during naruto and sasuke’s first encounter. but it is ALSO used during the scene in hashirama’s flashback when izuna is mortally wounded and madara makes the decision to abandon the clan on the battlefield to take care of him, despite his better judgment and hashirama’s offering of peace. the inflection point in the music represents a very real inflection point in madara’s life: the loss of his last brother. (it always comes back to that, doesn’t it.)

[keep-it-i-resign]

Fic Writer Asks

tagged by the lovely @vampcoffeegyrl23 I am soooo sorry this has taken over a week! I promise I was just busy away from my computer and using mobile is not the way to go about answering these! 😅

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

6 on AO3 and 6 on ffn.net. I haven't used the ffn.net account in years, i.e 2013 (and therefore my user name isn't even the same) so those 6 stories are different from my AO3 ones. I don't post most of what I write and now that I'm in my mid-20s with a few published papers behind me - I'm much more confident in my ability to write a cohesive and interesting story so expect more posted!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

17,425 words which isn't bad for only 6 fics with two of those stories having additional chapters coming soon.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On AO3? Just 1, which is The Flash and by extension Stargate SG-1 for the crossover I did for Snowells Week this year. Counting ffn.net that's 3 more with Castle, Doctor Who, and Firefly. Over my lifetime of writing fic for myself? I think only 7 more. Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Sanctuary, Harry Potter, Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek: TNG, and Left 4 Dead. Left 4 Dead isn't much of a fanfic but I did use the zombie types as place holders in an original story until I developed my own.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'll Be Waiting (The Flash - Caitlin/Harry)

Well... This is Awkward (The Flash - Caitlin/Harry, Frost/Nash, Caitlin/Nash, and Frost/Harry)

Rewind Time (The Flash - Caitlin/Harry)

Through the Gate (The Flash/Stargate SG-1 - Caitlin/Eowells)

Harvest Season (The Flash - Caitlin/Harry)

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I don't write angst much and I haven't posted many stories yet but of the ones posted I guess "I'll Be Waiting" is the angstiest.

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

"Well...This is Awkward" has a pretty happy ending with everyone alive and together. Or maybe "Twilight of the Gods" because ReverseSnow/ReverseFrost happens and there is hope of bringing everything lost back and balance the universe again. I guess it depends on your definition of what constitutes as a happy ending. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I've only written one - The Flash/Stargate SG-1 crossover. I don't normally think about crossovers just because the shows I watch are so vastly different they can't really work or they are already in the same universe with the canon crossovers. I'm also not always a fan of reading them because they can get chaotic quick and characterization takes a dive in order to fit characters into other universes/situations. I admire anyone who can write it well though!

As a side note: I did have a thought about a Snowells into the Arkham universe fic just because I have been replaying the Batman Arkham video games which I might give a shot at.

8. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

👀I wrote one smutty story years ago and it's terrible because I was young and naïve. I haven't tried recently but I'm not opposed to giving it a shot now. I have a few ideas on a prompt list I have for Snowells already so it's really a matter of when will I get to it!

9. Do you respond to comments. why or why not?

I do when I can! I like to get feedback from my readers and having an open dialogue of what they liked or disliked is important for me! I want to know what my audience enjoyed and what to improve on! Responding to them also shows them I saw that they said and appreciate what they had to say! 🥰

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Surprisingly - no, even on my old and terribly written stuff. I'm perfectly open to criticism but hate? If you don't like it, you don't like it but others might. Why spend the time spreading negativity when the world has enough of it?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

As far as I know - no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but given enough time I could probably translate mine. It would be grammatically atrocious because I rarely translate from English into any of the languages I know. It's normally the other way around! I'd definitely need a Beta who is fluent to correct my mistakes.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but it's definitely something I'd try! I co-wrote an original story with a few friends of mine years ago in high school and enjoyed it. I like the idea of getting to talk and bounce ideas off of someone who enjoys the same fandoms and character as me! I haven't really done that since I grew apart from one of my friends from high school who I did that with.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

What kind of question is this? Do people actually have an ultimate ship? Is that even possible? I have ships from several fandoms and sometimes multiple ships within a fandom. Most of the time I have a main ship from a fandom but that doesn't mean I discount any of the other ones that I or others enjoy as well. I'll throw out a few that I still got out and read for in order of what I read most often (either new stuff or re-reads) to what I read occasionally, at least according to my AO3 favorite tags.

Snowells (all variations) - The Flash

Jack O'Neill/Sam Carter - Stargate SG-1

Helen Magnus/Nikola Tesla - Sanctuary

Harry/Hermione - Harry Potter

William Murdoch/Julia Ogden - Murdoch Mysteries

Phil/ Melinda - Agents of SHIELD

Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris - Star Trek: Voyager

Kate Fleming/Steve Arnott - Line of Duty

I will occasionally go check what kind of fics the fandom writes when I start a show just out of curiosity. Sometimes you can tell if there is fandom hate between ships by doing so and I know to steer clear, especially if I ship a lesser ship/non-canon ship. Also - the number of canon-divergence or rewrites will tell you if the shows writers start being ridiculous *cough* The Flash *cough* and whether it's worth getting attached at all.

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Hoo boy. I have a drive full of them. Most of which aren't even close to being posted. My biggest one right now is a complete re-write of The Flash dealing with a what if scenario of Earth-1 Tess Morgan being pregnant the night that Thawne kills them both and he chooses to birth the kid rather than let it die with her. It's set a few years earlier (so 18/19 years stuck in the past rather than the original 15 that the show has it) so the kid isn't Jesse but it changes how season 1 plays out and definitely how season 2 plays out when Harry finds out about the kid while dealing with the Jesse/Zoom issue. Plus it's Snowells too and I want to deal with Barry's mistakes and the consequences of them better than the show did since the show just kind of brushes them off? For some reason? I wanted things to have a little more consequence because some of the mistakes made are egregious and then they acted like it never happened which bothers me. It's a beast of a project and I'm - unfortunately- a perfectionist and a completionist. I'm thinking an episode per chapter rewrite but right now it's in bits and pieces and a lot of notes on how episodes would play out differently with an added character and dynamic.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and scene positioning. I can write out the dialogue for a story quickly with the bare bones of the scene and movements playing out. After that, it takes me ages to expand the scene and fill in the bits between speaking lines because I can see the piece play out in my head and putting that to paper accurately and engagingly without being overwhelming is a multi-layered process.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Some of this is normal, you know, like grammar and spelling. My brain moves faster than I type so words or bit of phrases end up missing and I later have to fix it. I'm also a Southerner who grew up watching a ton of British shows so a lot of the way I phrase things isn't commonly used anywhere. I have to spend a lot of time double checking things like that. I think my biggest one is not knowing how to end stories satisfactorily. I haven't posted many fics because it's hard to post them when you don't know how to wrap everything up.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It depends on whether it's an established part of a character or story and whether or not I'm comfortable with the language. Like with Sherloque - it's established he'll say something in French and then repeat it in English. I took 3 years of French so I'm comfortable writing it and it fits the character and situation. But take Cisco, we know he speaks Spanish, but it's never really shown in the show. So fics that I've read where he breaks into Spanish can be distracting as we've never seen him do it - even in dire circumstances. I also never took Spanish in school and I only know rudimentary pieces (I took Mandarin and Latin instead), so I'm unlikely to use it in any fic I write unless the circumstances warrant it (say - Cisco is talking to a grandparent or a meta struggling with English).

But again, it depends on the situation, what we know of the character, and how comfortable I am with the language enough to get it correct and in character. Any fic writer who can get the situation and character down while using a secondary language, and not make it distracting deserves applause!

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Hit me with a hard one why don't you? 🤣 I think it was Stargate SG-1 or maybe it was Stargate Atlantis. You're asking me to think back over a decade and a half ago to when I started reading and writing fic at the tender age of 7 or 8. I'm fairly certain it was one of those two fandoms and it might've been a crossover. I do remember writing part of it on an old Gateway computer running Windows '98 with a glass monitor that was mine and my sisters. The other half was written on an electric type-writer that I owned because this was before laptops were widely available and affordable.

20. What's your favorite fic you've written?

It's a tie between "Twilight of the Gods" and "I'll Be Waiting". "Twilight of the Gods" because I got to show off a few of my degrees (History and Classics, I couldn't shoehorn in my others but they are science related and that doesn't quite fit that story). "I'll Be Waiting" is a favorite because it's a big middle finger to whoever / collective group wrote The Flash season 7. I'm still pissed off at how the Wells plotline was dealt with and let's not get started on the whole Chillblaine/Kramer/Forces as kids of WA plots (ewwwwwww 🤢). I'd need a whole new post to talk about how tired I am of the WA kids showing up (because screw how that'll effect the timeline, right?) and the reliance on the future to drive what decisions are made (because, again, screw how bad that would be for the timeline - it's not like we have seen how much that effects things before right?) 😒

Phew.....That was longer than I expected, honestly, but a lot of fun!

Tagging whoever wants to talk about their works because you are all wonderful people who should get a chance to share!

[secret-engima]

Today in “SE works through the Chuunin Exam Arc and gets increasingly incredulous over how a show so beloved can have so many GAPING PLOT HOLES and also wow you can actually tell when the animators were getting paid to be enthusiastic or not can’t you”:

1. Sarutobi why did it take you so long to realize that the stadium and village were under attack.

2. Sarutobi why did you let Orochimoron take you hostage for even a hot second KAWARIMI IS A LITERAL ACADEMY BASIC TECHNIQUE JUST SWAP OUT WITH A NEARBY TILE YOU IDIOT I’VE SEEN IT DONE BEFORE FROM THAT CLOSE RANGE. KAKASHI DID IT. SO CAN YOU.

3. Sarutobi I don’t want to say you DESERVE to be trapped in a giant purple death box with your failed student and two dead guys trying to kill you but honestly you deserve to be trapped in a giant purple death box with your failed student and two dead guys trying to kill you.

4. Anbu. My guys. My dudes. I KNOW that the barrier is deadly and made of horrible purple fire and you can’t jump in but like- the barrier holders are right there. Wasting chakra to make an extra barrier around themselves. The barrier protecting them can’t be that thick. You have these lovely things call FLAME RESISTANT STEEL SWORDS you could be using to try to crack open the barrier. Or if you were REALLY smart you could, I don’t know, TUNNEL UP THROUGH THE CEILING??? The barrier is just a box that’s been turned upside down, there is no sign of a barrier floor underneath the tiles and even if there is you guys could have checked. You don’t need to just- sit there. Watching an old man, two dead guys, and a snake wearing makeup beat each other up.

5. Who let Kakashi make the plan. Why did Kakashi decide that it would be better to send the civilian girl he hasn’t bothered to train, the loud blond who he also hasn’t bothered to train, and the boy who tried to fake sleep to get out of helping go alone with just a tiny pug as escort. There were other genin RIGHT THERE who could both help AND be conveniently out of the line of fire in Kakashi’s fight. He was sending them after Sasuke, who was chasing three genin we’ve already seen wipe the FLOOR with the average genin. Having more numbers would be HIGHLY ADVANTAGEOUS.

6. And don’t tell me “he did it because Stealth” he sent the girl with bubblegum hair and the boy in neon orange out there, stealth is a non-factor and also it’s AN INVASION, nobody is going to care about a bunch of wacky kids running by they’re too busy trying not to die to the blur of green spandex that is Gai.

7. Where is Lee in all this anyway he just kinda vanished from the screen. Or was he passed out on the floor and I just missed him. I know he can’t fight, I just wanna know if he’s okay.

8. Was it bad that I didn’t know Asuma could actually fight? I knew he was one of the Guardian Twelve or whatever but mostly fans only talk about him getting owned by Itachi or murdered by Hidan so I guess I just assumed he was ... kinda a sucky fighter. I have been proven wrong. Nice job saving your deer boy, Asuma, I’m impressed.

9. There’s an actual budget for the Hokage fight? Nice. Also who gave Sarutobi the right to actually be cool NOW when he’s been acting senile for the past 10+ episodes excuse you.

10. EXCUSE YOU SARUTOBI YOU DON’T GET TO MAKE EPIC FEELS-INDUCING SPEECHES ABOUT THE WILL OF FIRE AND THE VILLAGE AS YOUR FAMILY, NOT WHEN YOU HAVE FAILED ON BOTH THOSE ASPECTS SO HARD.

11. How dare you make me regret your impending death even a little bit Sarutobi. How dare.

12. There’s a monkey king? That’s an actual THING? I mean I knew there was a monkey king but I didn’t expect him to be so amazing. Now if he would just stop waiting for Sarutobi to grow a spine (because we all know he won’t) and actually kick Orochimaru while the snake was distracted taunting his old sensei maybe we’d actually get somewhere with this show.

13. Seriously Monkey King you turn into a adamantine pole or whatever that can change shape and size, just play dead on the ground for a minute then expand and extend to the size and length of a tree. You don’t even have to do any damage yourself you just have to shove him/wack him into his own barrier and let him go up in flames. It probably won’t kill him, since Plot and also Orochimoron, but hey at least it will do damage and distract him for a few seconds.

14. Turning to Naruto real quick because clearly Sarutobi’s Senile Damsel Syndrome is contagious- Naruto. You are an Uzumaki. You have so much chakra you can barely do chakra control exercises. I know you’re tired from the Neji fight, but I ALSO know via fandom that you’re going to summon a freaking Boss Summon in a few episodes. When Shikamaru says “someone needs to stay behind and be a diversion” why didn’t you, I don’t know, SPAM A FEW SHADOW CLONES? You didn’t even have to use only shadow clones for the diversion, you could have just dropped off a few to help out Shika in his rare moment of self-sacrifice. Half a dozen screaming orange genin would go such a long way in providing a distraction so Shika could make a plan (may I suggest, catch the sound ninja in shadow possession and then have the Naruto’s slit their throats before their ninth member has a chance to catch up?). But no. We can’t possibly spam clones the one time a comrade could find them terribly useful, let’s go back to running through the trees worrying about the boy who knows an A-Rank assassination jutsu and would be totally fine surviving on his own for another several episodes of dialogue and reaction shots ten minutes.

15. Where the ACTUAL freak is Jiraiya. He came to Konoha specifically because he heard Orochimaru was planning something. There is an INVASION HAPPENING. GIANT SNAKES. BUSTING DOWN THE WALL. ENEMY NINJA EVERYWHERE. YOUR SENSEI IS TRAPPED IN A BARRIER JUTSU WITH THE GUY YOU SPECIFICALLY CAME HERE TO LOOK FOR. You don’t suppose you could leave your drinks and women and pity party long enough to- I don’t know- HELP? I mean I know it would be hard for someone who has such niche skills like SUMMONING GIANT TOADS and USING FUUNJUTSU THAT COULD PROBABLY BREAK THE BARRIER YOUR SENSEI IS TRAPPED IN but come on man, put forth a little effort.

Maybe you show up in a later episode miraculously doing something important to help stop the invasion, who knows.

Pros of this arc tho:

1. When they decide to actually use their animation budget THEY REALLY GO FOR IT. The fights that have a budget are epic.

2. Sakura got to be useful! For 20 seconds! She fended off a genjutsu and woke up Naruto and told him what was going on! That counts as useful! *devolves into sobbing because why are the girl characters not allowed to be both good guys AND competent onscreen*

3. I genuinely cheered when Asuma swooped in to save Shika. That was cool.

4. Some of the exam fight bits were cool. Naruto vs Neji dragged on a bit but the ending tactic was as rewarding as I’d hoped it would be from reading about it in the fandom. Also I really enjoyed the Shikamaru vs Temari fight. A-tier victory from the resident Deer Boi.

5. Sasuke using Chidori first time on screen was cool, and even though I’d read about it ahead of time, Gaara wigging out over seeing his own blood genuinely startled me.

6. I was glad to see that Sasuke still remembers how to use other jutsu than Chidori. When Temari started fighting him I was afraid the show writers would forget he HAD any jutsu other than Chidori tbh. Like Naruto and his many versions of the same jutsu (see: all the clone spam variations, all the harem jutsu variations, and all the many MANY different rasengan variations).