#it's been a truly wonderful year

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

I posted 7,639 times in 2022

That's 6,724 more posts than 2021!

1,859 posts created (24%)

5,780 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mrcowboydeanwinchester

@girlbossdean

@queerstudiesnatural

@lesbianjoannaharvelle

I tagged 7,235 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#spn - 1,824 posts

#ola.txt - 1,431 posts

#dean winchester - 964 posts

#destiel - 520 posts

#tali tag 🌿 - 413 posts

#jo harvelle - 386 posts

#castiel - 319 posts

#sapphicnatural - 304 posts

#spn art - 285 posts

#ola answers - 282 posts

Longest Tag: 74 characters

#tim. god 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

the way that in the trap dean says "i hope you can hear me. i hope you can hear me." this man has spent his whole life loving cas silently. loving cas in the dark quiet corners of his soul no one can find, not even himself. and then. in that moment. he gets down on his knees and begs for cas to hear him. thinking they may never find each other thinking they're about to die he confesses out loud what he has kept quiet for a decade.

960 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

#4

i love turning on an episode of supernatural and watching jensen act his little jussy out tears in his eyes praying on his knees all in one take while jared blinks at rapid intervals and misha does a silly voice

1,045 notes - Posted October 18, 2022

#3

you have to understand dean doesn't realise he's denying himself what he wants anymore like to him that's just how things Are. he can't have cas he can't stop hunting he can't get better he can't have time to himself it's not even a question, he doesn't even register them as wants because he just thinks he Can't Have Them and then what's the point of wanting them at all

1,207 notes - Posted August 10, 2022

#2

early seasons sam is just that bit spoiled and i think that is just a feat in itself on dean's behalf. he managed to raise a kid in a motel room off of macaroni cheese and second hand clothes but he sacrificed enough that sam still grew to be spoiled and petty. that s1 dynamic where sam has absolutely no clue about any of the shit dean went through is actually so so important because it shows just how stupidly good dean was at putting on a front of normality and protecting his brother. not only has dean been performing his whole life he's been performing parenthood his whole life and it was a success. dean's performances didn't start as self protection they started in the same way a mother performs to their child that everything is okay as the world falls to pieces around them. as s12 says, it's not fair and dean can't do it, but sam's spoiled s1 nature is a sign of how successful dean actually was

1,972 notes - Posted July 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

and is bisexual misha collins in the room with us right now?

2,544 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hopeinthebox]

bts + make up a guy pt.2 | for @cordiallyfuturedwight

[nellasbookplanet]

In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:

There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.

Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?

From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.

Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?

[brunetteaura]

going on a heavy restriction of the use of my phone because its ruining my life and genuinely not letting me do things that i want to do consistently bc they feel too hard. i wont live my best life and evolve if i check my phone first thing in the morning if i dont let myself be in silence for the most part of the day and have my hands free if instead of journaling before sleep i go on tumblr and ruin my sleep schedule due to procrastination of that and so and so. like yeah i get things done but i dont like the pacing and the fact that even an hour of my day is being wasted on this stupid device in a mindless way i really want to put my whole attention into this ive already been asking myself a lot of the times what is it that i wanna do so ive been using my phone way less compared to previous years but i need to be more concentrated more focused and serious about it its genuinely a problem like what sense does it make to want to do something and then do it half assed and lazily. feel/think -> action -> result i will put my heart into things because its what i deserve to give to myself

[goldensunset]

dude if kh ends ill. probably cry lmaoo. but also. fandoms continue after their thing is finished dont they?? like. 10 years after its done ppl will still talk abt it?? i hope so at least

given that the kh fandom has survived several massive droughts over the years at this point i think it's unkillable. some of my mutuals on here are from like the ice age of kingdom hearts and still alive and blogging the exact way they always did. it won't be a huge fandom but even now with the series still being alive the fandom isn't as big as it once was in its heyday. but those of us here are incredibly loyal. and the nature of any long-running thing is that people carry it with them over the course of many years and it'll become impossible to drop it once it does end. but! it truthfully all depends on How it ends if you ask me. if it's a trainwreck a lot of people might abandon it out of resentment. if it's good or even mediocre as an ending it'll have its fans throughout eternity

[feuxx]

Inspired by Lovely, lonely blooms for ashamedbliss <3

I've been wanting to draw for my lovely friend bliss and I finally managed to whip up something for her florist vampire!merlin fic. Pls check it out it's sooo good 🫶 actually pls read all of bliss's fics you won't regret it at all her whole repetoire is 🫶🫶🫶 all her words make me insane 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

[knickynoo]

Two of my favorite little scenes from BTTF part II are the moments where Marty stops to watch his parents in 1955. I mean, he was only just there living through those events one day prior, but he didn't actually have a chance to soak any of it in or process it. (He'd come flailing into the parking lot just after George punched Biff but hardly had time to appreciate any of it on account of his picture still fading, and then at the dance, he was. You know. Actively being erased from existence up there on stage for a while.)

Even though the stakes are still unbelievably high when he returns to '55 to try to track down the almanac, and he's just experienced what may be the most stressful and terrifying day of his life with all the 1985A nonsense, he makes it a point to slow down enough to watch his parents at the dance. And there's just this look on his face—a mixture of awe and relief and happiness. You can tell. You can tell this is getting permanently etched into Marty's memory. He's taking in every detail. He's holding tightly to these sweet moments of watching his parents (who had been unhappily married most of or all of his life) FALL IN LOVE. A real, true love that he's never had a chance to see them in before.

Not to mention the fact that in the reality he'd just arrived from, his mother had been forced into marriage with Biff, and his father was dead. Marty's just come from a place where his family had been completely destroyed, and now he's watching the very foundation of it coming together. This is the beginning of it all, and it's a reminder of what he's trying so hard to save and get back to.

And it's so very nice that we see him hitting the pause button for a few seconds in this chaos-fest to look at his mom and dad with such love.

[hairtusk]

incredibly confused by modern hookup culture and the idea that you can enhance your own sexual pleasure by never committing / being emotionally involved with a partner and sleeping with lots of different people. sure, you get the thrill of sleeping with a new/ish person. but nothing will ever come close to the levels of pleasure you get when you and your lover both trust each other entirely, and know each other's bodies like they were your own. why would you deny yourself that level of pleasure by never forming a connection. truly fucking bizarre to me.

[andrewscottsource]

Hey all! It's been a very long time since I made a post on this blog (I do keep an eye on everything from afar) but I wanted to share something really cool and very special that happened!

Over the weekend I went to MCM Comic Con in London and I had the privilege of meeting Andrew Scott (I still can't quite believe it!)

He was so SO lovely and the entire experience was just amazing. I got to gush about how much I love his work and how much it helped me through some of my own life experiences being Bi and Trans - he listened so intently to everything I had to say and asked me so many questions, it was just wonderful to have that time with him and I feel very lucky.

After we had a chat he signed the beautiful print above for me and took such care in writing me a lovely message that just really warmed my heart. He really is just such a wonderful caring person and I will pass on to you all what he said to me as I left his table: "Don't stop making your tribe bigger." Surround yourself with people who can support you and who you can support in turn, love people and be loved because there can never be too much love in the world. I know how kind-hearted you all are, and I couldn't be more thankful for this little space we've created in our corner of the internet.

Thank you all.

Love and Hugs,

Max

[spaceratprodigy]

🎉✨💙💖 Maril and Mina 💖💙✨🎉

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @fairymistrose !! ily ily ily 💕

Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links

[flashanimated]

BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE,

ALREADY KNOW THIS STORY.

[carefulfears]

I hate when people dismiss the Phoebe thing as Scully simply having been jealous. She was his best friend first, and she did what any good friend would have

yeah it's pretty reductive, honestly. scully has been very protective of mulder since the pilot; the first 3 episodes of the show are literally her committing to him, holding a man hostage at gunpoint to find him, and cutting ties with her friends who make fun of him.

this was largely her arc in squeeze, after only having known him for a couple of weeks, as she defends him to colton multiple times

and, in the end, concludes that she would rather be “on the side of the victim” with mulder than climb the ladder with her classmates, and tells colton to fuck off the next time he’s rude about her partner

in ghost in the machine, she's disapproving of jerry from the moment they meet, knowing literally nothing about him except that he used to work with mulder

and she instantly recognizes the profile that jerry presents as mulder's work, whispering to him to ask if that's his, to which he replies "forget it, no" and then later fibs and says that jerry apologized for stealing it (once you tell your best friend you can't go back lol)

all of these examples pre-date her behavior in fire, and are episodes where she's put in situations navigating mulder around other men

y'all remember the first time she met krycek and just flat out refused to shake his hand lmao

i touched on this a little bit in my post on fire, but scully really was just so enthralled by him from the very beginning. she grew up on a military base with her navy captain father and two brothers, and her only relationships have been with older men in power.

she instantly is so aligned with mulder and that there's something different in him than she's used to, but she's aware that the openness and softness that she's so drawn to in him makes him more vulnerable, and she's desperate to protect it

in beyond the sea, the very next episode after fire, she screams at boggs that if mulder dies she'll gas him into hell herself, and boggs tells her that he's tasted the afterlife.

that it's a cold and dark place, and mulder's looking in on it now. she replies, "it might be a cold dark place for you, but it's not for mulder"

she knows him, and she's so moved by him and what he wants to do in the world. these are the values that she left medicine to follow.

"jealousy" honestly doesn't even compare to the kind of ferocious protectiveness that she feels towards him from the very start, she really doesn't trust anyone around him for anything. they can't possibly get it like she does, if they treat him that way.

he may not care if people call him names or steal from him or try to make him walk through fire, but he really is just her best friend. and she can't stand it.

[triscribe]

Thank you for your honesty! That's okay! Tell me about Finn. Now I'm intrigued! 😁

FINN my BOY

The Force Awakens introduced so much potential, with this literal no-name stormtrooper who could have come from anywhere in the galaxy, taken and molded and pushed into serving the First Order with no identity beyond being a good little cog in the machine, and the first time he gets to see up close and personal how that machine steam rolls over innocent people in its path, his reaction is to give a hard pass

I just. Words do not describe how much I love this concept. And even better, this is a main character, one part of the Big Trio we were meant to get for this trilogy, he's not a throwaway background "move the plot a step forward but otherwise don't do anything" guy, he's not a traitor who does one helpful thing and then dies for it in the name of freedom or revolution, he gets out, and even with clear reluctance, he finds something bigger and better to throw himself into

And yeah, there are the obvious parallels with the clone troopers of the old Republic, literally created to be cogs in their machine, born with numbers instead of names and given extremely little autonomy but for what they carved out for themselves in a hundred thousand unique little ways - but even beyond all of that, I look at the clones, I look at FN and his fellows, I feel like Maz Kanata seeing the same eyes in different faces

Those are children raised to be living weapons

Those are people raised strictly and sternly and told they have no choice, why would they even want a silly choice, this is the best and only option, this is the only thing they'll ever be good for-

But Star Wars is all about choice

Yes, Finn's squadmate died in front of him, left that bloody handprint on his helmet, but that's not a loss that rips apart his world. That's not a farmstead burned down, a species massacred, a planet obliterated. That's his reality, that he and all his fellow troopers are meant to live and fight and die for those above them - it should, in theory, be the easiest thing in the world to stand up, to shoot, to get back in that transport and return to the First Order and continue onward

But it isn't

Maybe Finn could have been Force sensitive, maybe that was never in the cards, but regardless, he heard those screams and saw the falling bodies, he went back up on the shuttle and saw a captured enemy pilot and he chose

The greatest tragedy of the clone troopers is that at the final moment, when Operation Knightfall kicked into full gear, they didn't get to choose. A set of pre-determined words flipped a switch inside their heads, and good soldiers follow orders, sir, if the Emperor declares these folks are traitors, well, traitors to the Empire must die, and once they're all dead we move on to the next set of orders and the next, good soldiers follow orders, so do good citizens of the Empire, those that don't get to deal with the consequences

How many of their ghosts got to cheer, when a nobody no-name kid, molded to wear white armor and shaped to hold a blaster in his hands, heard his orders and refused, and then went on to choose a course of action that helped take down the biggest superweapon the galaxy had ever seen?

The clones seized what choices they could, with their names and their paint and whatever else they managed, up until the biggest choice of all was stripped from them

FN-2187 didn't even get those tiny scraps of self-expression, of identity, of any choice at all, until he found himself on the edge of a precipice all his fellow squad members jumped into without a second thought, and pulled himself away

The rest of the sequels chickening out of doing a hell of a lot more with that is definitely in the top five travesties of the entire damn franchise, I swear.

[satorisoup]

WAHHH good morning fwiends n’ happy sunday !! ( ྀི◞ ⸝⸝ ◟) & happy september 1st !! dis means dat spooky season is upon us !! what a wonderful time of tha year !! <3

i hope everyone has tha most wonderfulest day today, remember dat you are important n’ loved !! MWUUUAH !! <3 🍯

[orokay]

So idk if I can really articulate the way I'm feeling rn to translate it perfectly, but I want you guys to know how much I truly appreciate everyone who's followed me over the years, who has interacted with me in any way no matter how small, and anyone who has shown up recently. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. It's probably cheesy to say but everyone here has made my life so much brighter and I feel so unbelievably blessed to have been invited into your lives in some way, even if it's just as someone who sometimes shows up on your dash.

I decided to scroll through my tag on here and the way people have supported me over the years though everything really, deeply touched my heart this evening. The people who have drawn fanart for me, the people who have commissioned me, the people who have tagged me in things (I cringe every time bc I feel soooo bad for not seeing them until I look in my tag once in a blue moon, but know I appreciate you trying to include me), the people who tag me when asked who their art inspirations or favorite blogs are (!!!!!!!!!??????), the people who post their art saying that my art inspired them in some way, people who express their excitement when they realize I've followed them (this will never stop being wild to me, what an incredible thing!!!! I'm just me!) everyone. It's absolutely mind boggling to me and I can't stress enough how much it means.

I've had such an incredible time on this site so far and met some of my closest friends here and just.. wow. Thank you so much to all of you, from the very bottom of my heart. I cannot thank you enough for all of your support!! Every little bit of interaction is a blessing to me and I've run out of ways to express that so I'll wrap this up here but yeah!! I hope you all have a lovely evening or whatever time of day it is in your time zone. Know that you've impacted me in a way I can't express and try to give yourselves a little grace, you'll never know how much you've improved the lives of the people around you by just spending a little time in their space ♥

[morphestic]

I miss marching in front hundreds of people, you may be tired and your arms are killing you and your heart is beating out of it's chest from the adrenaline rush but it's okay because at the end, that whole audience is cheering and roaring for you and it's worth it. I miss sitting in front of an audience and performing during concert season, being a nervous wreck as your solo comes up but letting your fingers and mind do their thing and trusting that your efforts will show. I miss music.