#it's been 15 days without hot water lol

[megueggu]

design piece of Jasper for Youso ✨

[fandom-alley]

Rekindling at the Spa

18+

Summary: Spencer has an evening at the spa as per his doctors orders, and meets up with a girl he met at Penelope's over a year ago. This time he convinces himself not to leave without getting her phone number, but he ends up getting a little bit more.

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Reader

Category: Fluff, smut (like hardly though)

Warnings: 18+, kissing, making out, semi-public (no ones around) grinding, coming untouched/in pants

Word Count: 3.7k

a/n: inspired by my recent trip to the spa where i realized just how single i am. this is my first time writing something spicier than making out, so it's not a lot and just at the end, go easy on me lol

Also on AO3

The last thing Spencer Reid wanted to do was spend his evening at the hydrotherapy spa. Germs from the water of hot tubs could make you sick if consumed, and so could the vapour that comes off the water. Not to mention the possibility of a rash due to the chemicals used. But it was his doctor's orders. Apparently his own doctoral status was not good enough to sway them to let him come back to work early and skip this step. 

There were many steps he had to complete as part of his recovery process; resting his injured leg, physical therapy, changes to his diet, therapy for his mental health. And the dreaded ‘spa relaxation’.

Now, most doctors probably wouldn’t prescribe a day at the spa as something to do as part of recovery, but Spencer’s doctor knew him well. He knew that throughout the last month, even though Spencer had completed most of his steps, he wasn’t relaxing through any of it. And his doctor was correct. Spencer’s brain had been working double time, reading twice the amount of books he usually did in a day while he was immobile elevating his injured leg. Reading up on new techniques for profiling and offering tips to the BAU when they worked a local case.

His doctor could tell that his inability to relax his brain, therefore relaxing his body, was the last step in holding him back from complete recovery.

So here he was, entering a Nordic hydrotherapy spa, where he was not allowed to bring in any cell phones, tablets, or hold loud conversations with anyone. And while it was acceptable to bring books in to read, Spencer didn’t want to risk dropping one in the water and ruining it. So he was about to be forced to put his self meditation techniques to use. 

After changing into his swim shorts, putting on the complimentary robe and locking away his belongings, Spencer stepped out of the main building into the frigid evening air. He breathed in the scent of salt, chlorine, and eucalyptus from the nearby steam room. Hidden speakers in the plant beds around the property played out relaxing spa style music. Spencer had to admit, despite his reservations regarding germs, he already did feel quite relaxed.

The steam coming off the hot pools seemed to blanket the grounds in silence. It wasn’t that busy, but Spencer spotted a few people relaxing in the pools and walking in-between sections of the spa grounds. 

Upon his check in tonight, the kind lady at the front desk informed him how to use the spa for maximum relaxation and hydrotherapy benefits. She recommended he sit in a hot pool for 10 to 15 minutes, take a plunge in the cold pool for at least 15 seconds or as long as he could handle, and then relax in a sauna, steam room, or relaxation room before continuing the process a few times.

The property was large, with 4 different hot pools, 3 different cold plunge pools, 2 rooms for wood burning saunas, the eucalyptus steam room, and multiple chairs dotting the ground surrounding fireplaces where you could sit and relax. Without putting too much thought to it, Spencer hung up his robe near the closest hot pool and stepped into the burning water. 

The change in temperature stung his cold toes as they started to warm up. The water was only up to his waist as he waded through past a few couples sitting to the sides. He made his way to the back of the pool where it was blissfully empty and took a seat. Since he was so tall sitting on the built in seats along the edge of the pool, the water only went up to mid chest. But the rest of his exposed skin felt refreshed with the cool air blowing over him. A good contrast to the hot water covering the rest of his body.

Spencer leaned his head back and closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to shut his brain off. It worked for a few minutes, before he heard a couple a few feet over whispering sweet nothings to each other. It just made Spencer start thinking about his own lacklustre love life.

With his job in the BAU there wasn't that much opportunity and time for a relationship. Sure, some of his co-workers had figured it out. Like JJ and Will for instance. Spencer had seen how difficult it was for Morgan to hold down a relationship with their crazy work hours as well.

He hadn't really put that much effort into a relationship, though. Part of the reason was that he just didn't have the time. Some of the cases kept them away from home for weeks at a time. Sometimes to the point where he really didn't know how his friends and co-workers were able to keep it up. He was the type of guy who wanted to get to know someone, be around them lots in the early stages, and that was just too hard with work.

Spencer jolted out of his daydream when someone splashed into the seat next to him.

"Is this seat taken?" The voice belonged to a pretty girl, who if he had to guess was maybe just a few years younger than him. She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't seem to place where he recognized her from. "You're Dr. Spencer Reid, right?" She asked.

"Yes, that's me," he replied with a furrowed brow, wracking his brain on why her big brown eyes looked like they knew him as well.

Thankfully she caught on to his confusion. "I'm y/n. Penelope's friend from book club. We met a year ago at her place when she had a viewing party for the season finale of Love Is Blind. I almost didn't go because I really don't watch reality TV, but I had just moved to the area and I wanted to try and make some friends."

Spencer remembered her now. Back then at the party she had her hair down in unruly curls and it was the colour of fire engine red. Now her hair was tied back to stay out of the water and it was the colour of midnight black. He wasn't one to forget a face, or forget much of anything really. But something about a dramatic change in hair colour and style had the Clark Kent effect on him. Maybe it was because he was in a pretty decent state of relaxation.

"I remember you," he said, nodding his head in recognition. "I also didn't want to go to that party but Penelope is hard to say no to."

Y/n laughed, "Yes she is, isn't she. It's good though. Because of her persistence I was able to make a few friends that night. And on multiple other nights as well. Penelope frequently tries to set me up on dates." She was talking pretty quietly as per spa rules, and it would have been hard to hear if she hadn't sat close and leaned in while she talked. Normally Spencer would have backed away, but something about her presence was soothing. Or maybe that was just the water jets from the pool shooting into his back.

"So what brings you to the spa tonight?" Spencer asked her. He might have met her back then at the party, but they hadn't said many words to each other. He remembered being slightly intimidated by her fiery hair and bubbly personality and after their initial introduction he snuck away with his glass of juice to browse Pen's book collection.

"Actually, it was a birthday gift from Penelope!" Y/n smiled.

"Oh, happy birthday." Spencer smiled back at her. Why was he intimidated back then, he thought to himself. She was so beautiful and so nice, and so far fairly easy to talk to, it seemed.

"Thank you. But it's actually not until next month. Penelope just told me this was the only night she could get a reservation and that when my actual birthday happened she would buy me a cake," y/n laughed. 

Spencer pursed his lips in confusion. When he booked his reservation on his doctor's orders, there looked to have been multiple available times from now until the end of the year. The only day that was sold out was Thanksgiving weekend.

"When did she give you the gift with the reservation in it?" He asked y/n, with a hint of scepticism in his voice.

"About 3 days ago I think it was," she answered. About 3 days ago is when Spencer called up Penelope to rant to her about being forced to go to this spa. Was it possible Pen had given Y/n the gift as an excuse to try and set them up? Back at the party he had gotten the vibe when she introduced them that she wanted them to become friends. But Spencer had never gotten her number or email, and figured it just wasn't meant to be. Although how could it be, when he actively avoided her most of that night.

"What a coincidence that we're both here on the same night," Spencer told her.

"I know, right? I wasn't completely sure that you were you when I saw you sitting over here. But you're a hard one to forget, Dr. Reid," y/n said. Was that a blush he saw forming on her cheeks, or was she just getting too warm from the water.

"You can just call me Spencer. I really don't make anyone use doctor unless we're at work," he chuckled.

"Will do, Spencer. I hope you don't mind that I came over to sit with you. I can leave if you want the relaxation of being alone." She started to slide away from her seat slowly, giving him the opportunity to tell her she didn't need to leave. Which is exactly what he did.

"I don't mind. It's kind of nice to have company. I didn't realize how many people went to the spa with their partners," he told her. 

"Well, perfect. We can experience this spa together then. So how come you didn't come here with your partner?" Y/n asked slyly. Spencer could feel his face heat up with the attention turned to himself.

"No partner. I actually had to come here by doctor's orders. I got shot in the leg last month, and as the last part of recovery my doctor wanted me to relax more and figured what better way to force me to relax than to send me to the spa.”

“Oh my gosh. I’m tempted to ask if you’re okay, but it seems like you are, since you’re sitting here. I had no idea your job could lead to such violence,” Y/n exclaimed. 

“Every day is something different. They usually keep me off the field working from the office or police stations, but even then you never know what could happen,” Spencer explained.

“Wow. Okay, sorry. This is supposed to be relaxing and here I am bringing up work talk. What do you say we take a plunge into the cold?” Y/n asked with a grin.

This was probably the experience at the spa he was least likely to enjoy, but he followed her out of the water and next door to the cold pool. It was completely empty and Spencer was not surprised. Y/n grabbed his hand, sending a shock through his body, as they stood at the top of the stairs to the pool.

“It’s pretty likely that one of us is going to wimp out once our feet hit the water. So if need be, we have to drag the other person in, okay?” She said as she looked up at him. His voice got caught in his throat as he looked down at her and all he could do was nod in agreement. 

With a deep breath in, together they stepped onto the first step. It was so cold Spencer felt like his toes would fall off in a second. However he didn’t even get a second thought to think about stepping back out before y/n fell forward into the water, pulling him with her. He had to grab onto her hips for stability so he didn’t end up falling on top of her in the 3 feet of water. 

“It’s so cold,” Y/n gasped out.

It might have been 15 seconds, it might have been 5 minutes, but Spencer felt lost in time as he held Y/n in his arms in the freezing cold water. He didn’t even feel that cold in the places where Y/n’s skin touched his. Slowly, as if held down by some invisible force, he removed his hands from her hips and grabbed her hand this time to help her out of the water.

Feeling a new burst of energy from the cold shock, Spencer helped Y/n into her robe before putting on his, then wordlessly grabbed her hand and led her to one of the saunas. Inside, they were met with a blast of heat as Spencer guided Y/n to the back bench. Every seat in the sauna faced a wall made of glass that overlooked a small lake with a fountain cascading in the middle. As he relaxed into his seat, Y/n decided to lay out on the bench beside him and use his thigh as a head rest. 

Neither of them said a word as they gazed out the window, watching the birds fly by and the ducks swim in the lake. 

Spencer thought back to the night of Penelope’s party. After he had pushed himself to the wall to avoid interacting with people, he did end up watching from afar as Y/n made her way around talking to all the guests. He might have initially felt intimidated, but he was also fascinated with her. He’d seen a lot of different people with his job, and he’d seen people with colourfully dyed hair before as well, but something about her red curls just drew in his eyes and he couldn’t take them back.

She was beautiful, enchanting even, and he wanted to get her phone number. But then he had thought back to their last case. Where they had been gone for 16 days in a row. He had watched JJ as she video called Will and her kids any chance they got. Watched Hotch take numerous phone calls from his son. Even Morgan escaped for private chats with Savannah. He wasn’t sure if that was something he would be able to handle. So eventually he said goodnight to Penelope, left the party, and left any thoughts he had about Y/n behind as well.

Now that Penelope had schemingly gotten her back into his life, he was determined to make sure he got her number before leaving again. 

Spencer and Y/n enjoyed the spa amenities for another couple hours, cycling through the recommended steps while chatting quietly or relaxing in silence. Despite not doing much, they started to feel tired from the heated pools and saunas before eventually agreeing to meet outside in the parking lot after they got changed so they could say a proper goodbye.

Spencer rushed through changing, not wanting to take too long in case Y/n decided she didn’t want to stay, and made it outside in record time. He stood off to the side at the parking lot entrance, waiting for her with his heart racing. It took her a little bit longer, but eventually he saw her walking down the path. 

Her hair was down now, damp and a little frizzy from her curls trying to poke through. Wearing a simple black zip up sweater and black leggings, she looked cozy but also like she was about to rob a bank. She smiled at him when she reached his spot, taking his hand in hers to lead him to where she parked. The lot had almost emptied, leaving mostly staff vehicles and the last few remaining spa guests wanting to get every minute out of their visit as they could. Even with the empty lot, Y/n led Spencer to her car, a little black Honda, parked alone in the corner lit up only by the bright moon in the sky. 

“Thanks for letting me hang out with you tonight, Spencer,” Y/n told him when they stopped beside her car. She didn’t move to unlock it, opting instead to stand there with her hand still clasped in his.

“Of course. It was really lovely to see you again, Y/n,” said Spencer. Okay, he thought to himself, now is the time to do it. Bite the bullet and ask for her number. “Would you, maybe, be willing to exchange numbers and we can plan to go out for coffee some time soon?”

Y/n broke into a smile. “I would love that,” she said before reciting her number. She knew he would remember it, if Penelope’s constant chatter about how amazing Spencer’s memory is was to be true. 

“Awesome. So, I guess I’ll talk to you later?” Spencer moved to head back to his own vehicle but was stopped by a hand placed on the centre of his chest.

“Yeah. Or,” said Y/n, “Maybe we could do this?”

Before he could ask what ‘this’ was, she used the hand on his chest to push him back against the door of her car. Then she leaned in, rising up onto her toes to try and match his height, and placed her lips on his. It was quick, but enough to leave Spencer breathless, before she pulled away the slightest bit to look into his eyes.

“Is this okay?” she asked, and when he mumbled out a yes, nodding his head, she wasted no time going back in.

Their lips crashed together in an instant, almost too eager to finally be getting what they’ve both been craving all night. Y/n removed her hand from his chest to bring both of them into his hair, feeling the damp curls and giving them a little tug. Spencer brought his arms around her waist tightly, bringing her in closer to help relieve the strain of standing on her toes. 

He couldn’t believe this was happening, and in a parking lot. But he wouldn’t change a thing. Y/n’s hands made their way down to the back of his neck, before she brought them to his jaw. He let out a groan when she pulled on his bottom lip with her teeth, before their tongues collided with one another.  

Spencer brought his hands down even further, to grip the soft area at the back of her thigh just underneath her butt. He used his new grip to pull her up higher, spinning them around so that it was her back pressed against the car this time. She wrapped her legs around him to hold on as Spencer moved one of his hands up to her face, running his fingers along her jaw before finally pushing her hair back away from her neck. He broke away from her mouth to trail kisses along her neck, stopping to suck or nip at areas that drew a soft moan from her lips. He made his way down to her chest, where she had left part of the sweater unzipped. 

When he pulled back on the sweater he stopped with a groan, breathing deeply as he held her closer and grew tighter in his pants. Where he was expecting to see some sort of lace bra, instead he was met with nothing. She wasn’t wearing anything under the sweater. Hungrily, he opened her sweater more and he attached himself to the soft swell of her breast. Kissing, sucking, and gently biting. 

Without even realizing it, they started to move against each other. Spencer rolled his hips against hers, seeking that friction but focusing his attention on the skin between his lips. 

“Oh, fuck.” Y/n threw her head back in a moan as Spencer finally attached his mouth to the hard nub that was waiting for attention. He swirled his tongue around as he sucked on the sensitive area. “That feels so good.” she groaned. She brought her hands up to tangle them in his hair and hold him in place, only letting him move when he wanted to show her other side some love as well. 

It was difficult to move much against the car, but Spencer was hitting her in all the right places. Y/n could feel a familiar welcomed pressure building in her core and she gripped her legs tighter around him.

“Spencer,” y/n breathed out. “I’m close.”

He lifted his head enough to look at her. Her head back and eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. “Yeah?” he asked and she nodded her head while trying to move her hips faster against his. 

Spencer ground into her with a new purpose now. Paying more attention to the moves from his hips, he went back to sucking on her breast. This time he brought his hand to palm the other one. Squeezing and feeling the fullness of it in his hand. He rolled and pinched her nipple between his fingers at the same time as he gently grazed his teeth over the other one. It was enough to send Y/n over the edge, with Spencer right behind her. 

Spencer’s thrusts grew short until eventually they stopped as they came down from their high. He brought her in for another kiss, lazily moving his lips against hers while they got their breathing under control. Finally, Y/n unwrapped her legs from around him and he let her go.

“Holy shit. I can’t believe we just did that,” she said with a suddenly shy smile and glanced up at him. He looked down at her like he was seeing an angel. 

“Yeah,” he breathed out. He gripped the edges of her sweater and zipped it up tight to her neck. “What do you say we skip the coffee and go right back to my place?”

“I like the way you think. Lead the way.”

Click here for chapter 2! Available on AO3 only because it's basically smut and I was too nervous to post it on Tumblr lol

Thank you for reading, liking, or rebloging! <3

[cumulo-stratus]

Sneaky Snuggles

Pairing: Spencer Reid x male!reader

Description: y/n is woken up to a surprise of his boyfriend being home- despite the fact that his case was supposed to run at least another day or two.

warnings: fluff, possible swearing

Flufftober day 15: Early morning/morning after

A/N: this is gonna be more similar to a blurb lol but it's a cute idea none the less, also its kinda more based around spencers feelings abt y/n, not actual interaction between spencer and y/n

The twinkling lights of the city in the distance were visible through the windows of Y/n and Spencer's apartment. They had been living together for 6 months now, and were starting to get into a routine- a rhythm of sorts. Y/n did most of the household work, and Spencer did the errands and helped out when he could- except for cooking. Y/n would rather die then let Spencer cook them anything. And because of all the housework y/n took care of for him, he took any chance he got to thank y/n and spend time with him. Just like right now, or I guess last night.

Spencer's leather messenger bag had been dropped unceremoniously on the floor next to the entrance of the apartment, long since forgotten for the warmth and comfort of a shower and a cuddle with his boyfriend. But- again being ever grateful to his boyfriend, Spencer decided to let him get as much sleep as possible- which included trying not to wake him up by the sound of the shower faucet running at 2:30 am in the morning. To remedy this problem Spencer took the time to close both the door of the bathroom, but also the door to their shared bedroom. And as the boiling hot water cascaded over Spencer's naked form, he almost fell asleep right there, standing under the hot water. But he kept himself awake just long enough to get dressed and climb into bed with his lover. He decided that his dental hygiene could wait until morning, when he wouldn't fall asleep standing up. 

The warm covers and his lovers warm embrace after a tough case welcomed him with open arms. Spencer slid under the covers and gently took y/n in his arms, careful not to wake him up from his peaceful slumber. In the moments before sleep welcomed him for the first time in a while, Spencer took the time to admire y/ns peaceful expression. His lips formed a small, chapped smile. Y/ns eyes were always chapped during the winter. And if the snow outside their window was any indication, y/ns lips really needed some chapstick. Spencer admired y/ns eyes- which were moving back and forth rapidly, almost twitching- and Spencer wondered what he was dreaming about. And that was his last thought before his eyes closed and his body sunk into the mattress, content with his life. 

The light streaming into the small bedroom woke y/n from his slumber, and he unconsciously snuggled deeper into his boyfriends chest, hoping for even a tiny bit more warmth on the chilly December morning- though, the poorly insulated walls didn’t help either. When y/n woke up enough to speak, he said “mm, good morning spence.. wait spence-“ y/n didn’t remember falling asleep in his arms the night before, but he wasn’t complaining about waking up in them either. Spencer chuckled at y/n’s delayed response to his appearance, before answering y/n’s question without having him having to ask it, one of the perks of being together so long. 

“i got home around 2:30 last night, and i didn’t want to wake you up so i just slid into bed”

spencers tone was gentle and hushed, his voice still gravelly from waking up only minutes ago. 

“mm, you sneaky snuggler, you weren’t supposed to be home for at least another 2 days…”

Y/n jokingly shouldered him in the chest, and spencer leaned down to reach y/ns lips, and placed a loving kiss on them.

And thats how y/n and spencer started their morning, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Y/n loved his boyfriend to death and didn’t mind going to sleep in an empty bed every night if he got to wake up in one with him.

The End 

[autoantonyms]

Käärijä Cologne Gig Review

Starting off strong with me not sleeping enough. I literally went to bed at 10 pm, but couldn’t sleep until around 1:15 am and I had to get up at 4 am so- yea. 💀

But my dear friend Jenny and I were determined to get barricade so we just did what we had to do. We arrived at around 7 am at the venue and there were thankfully not many people there already.

Then the queuing began. I was so happy to see some of my mutuals again and got to spend so much amazing time with them! I also met so many new people in the queue and thats really one of my favorite things about these fandoms. 🫶🏻😭

At around 11 am Jere just showed up. All of us were like, aware that the tour bus was nearby but i don’t think anyone really cared or actively kept an eye on it. So I guess he just decided to see what we‘ve been up to???

Most of you will probably have already seen some pics (but I have to say it again) he decided to see us.. without any pants on. He was just standing there 🧍🏻‍♂️ greeting us, in this ugly sweater and he took his time to talk to us and take pics with us etc.

Also: I‘m pretty sure everyone who was there and knows me is already tired of hearing it BUT i was just like: „hey do you wanna sit with us?“ and he did. And then the whole Santa thing happened and I‘m still like „?????????? How did ANY of that happen???“ What possessed me to be like that. Anyway, as a friend of mine pointed out, I made him laugh so I will take this accomplishment and make this my new Roman Empire. I am so sorry for everyone who has to hear this story again and again and again🫣

We were also lucky enough to get an opportunity to hear some of the new songs. Because he came back to us a second time and played them for us on his own speaker (it’s battery was fighting for its life lol). And this was honestly the most wholesome thing ever. We were all just standing around him, listening to those songs and some of the others were asking him questions and he was just chatting with us about the album and the songs. He also asked us to not film any of it and I believe all of us just put our phones in front of him on the floor to show him that he can trust us. And he honestly looked so touched by that?!😭 He then asked us if we could film a tiktok with him for Häärijä‘s song and we did 💀

After that we went back to normal queuing and with the progression of the day more people showed up (i mean, that’s how it works haha).

My friend and I did make it to barricade and really had the time of our lives. It was my second time seeing him (last time in Berlin in 2023) and I honestly think both of these concerts are on my top 3 list. I was kinda disappointed that Rock Rock isn’t on the setlist anymore since it is one of my favs but having HHH, Trafik! and Ruoska is already so amazing that I can get over it (still missing my baby tho).

His whole interaction with Anna was so sweet. She was right in front of him and she also had to open his bottle for him and he just made her so happy, it was all so sweet omg.

We were dying of heat tho. It was so fucking hot and all of us were sweating like crazy. Some people in the middle of the crowd got him to splash water onto them and me and @peri-peri-sauce were also trying to get at least some drops onto us but he was just like „no, enough“😭 The security guy then gave us some bottles! He eventually did splash us as well but it literally evaporated 5 seconds later cause it was so fucking hot 🥲

Honorable mentions: the whip during Ruoska??? Sir?? Sir?? Weird way to propose but YES!; him laying on the floor before Cha Cha Cha and us chanting his name while he‘s fingering the air encouraging us to keep going; and hearing Trafik! live for the first time (this song is so good omg); Jenny and I during ICIP (we went crazy); me giving him my „Cologne“ sticker at the last possible moment, him looking at it and kissing it 🥹

All in all, that was such an incredible day. The queuing and the concert were literally perfect and i had so much fun! Nothing could ever beat this day I fear. I am still so overwhelmed by everything that happened and I am so grateful that I could have been there and experience all of it.

Sending love to everyone I met because all of you were amazing! 🫶🏻

[mikuni14]

Wandee Goodday - Ep 1

The long awaited first episode of Wandee Goodday is finally here, I'm sure I wasn't the only one who had been chanting "save me Wandee Goodday, Wandee Goodday save me" for the past few months lol

What I liked:

lots of humor, especially in the 4/4 part I laughed non-stop, although I must admit that a lot of the laughter was from second-hand embarrassment 🙈

Great and Inn are just beautiful (it's good that Great has loose clothes now, I was always worried about the buttons on his super tight uniform in MoD, fighting for their lives)

Thor and Fluke are also lovely, I really like the fact that their characters are already a couple and are completely in love with each other (and horny for each other 🔥) and so open about it

side characters add a lot to scenes, even if they appear for a moment, like a salesman offering technical advice on sex, or a doctor who sprays water on naughty subordinates, also nurses!

I really like Dee as a doctor, as an employee who doesn't let himself be treated like shit by clients and as a friend. He is nice, strong, confident, reliable and capable. Which is in stark contrast to how hopeless and lame he is in his love and sex life 🙈

I like how Yak and Dee felt an immediate physical attraction to each other, which is fighting against an equally immediate strong dislike lol The natural flow they have in their relationship: from physical attraction, through fights caused by negative circumstances, to the night spent together shows that this kind of relationship can be done, without humiliation bordering on bullying, as it's between Phum and Peem in We Are

I really like Yak who can just… stop when he has any suspicion that his partner is not fully in the moment, not fully sure. It was so cool, no forcing Dee to continue by putting pressure on him, making him feel "guilty", no awkwardness, complete chill. I like it when sex is treated so casually that even if nothing happens, the partners just sit and talk and there is no sense of pressure, everything is just so... normal and chill. I loved it.

Kao as a friend, a sidekick, a "token lgbt friend of the main character" 😄, who has his own life and although he is very funny, he is not a serial clown and comic relief, as is often the case. And he is asexual with credible dating problems. So interesting! Also: Drake 💖

I feel kind of vindictive happy that my most hated trope, wiping food from the mouth of the "love interest", is shown here as messing with Dee and giving him false hope for a relationship (?) The day this trope dies will be the day I win. I plan to get drunk when this happen hehe (vain hopes, of course, this disgusting trope will never die)

What I have a few, teeny-tiny reservations about:

at this point I don't really understand Ter's motivation: was he deliberately seducing Dee, or was he just too chummy with him, which he misinterpreted? Not that it matters tho...

8 years of all this? oh Dee… 🙈 (I love how Kao described this pathetic situation in just a few words)

I also don't really like making Dee a silly kid and a 🤡 when it comes to love and sex, especially since he's shown in other scenes where he's a full adult. He's a grown man with a serious profession, so it felt weird watching him as if he were a 15-year-old kid in a slapstick comedy. I get that there's a comedic element to it and it was funny and I was laughing, but the amount of cringe and second-hand embarrassment was downright overwhelming at some point. What is fine as convention in MSP or Only Boo no longer looks so good in series about adults

the comedy of the sex scene completely stripped away the hotness of these scenes, ngl

the above comments are not complaints, they are just loose observations. It was only the first episode after all 😉

Overall, the series started well, I had a great time watching it, I laughed a lot, the characters are cool and very attractive, Great has the body of a young god 🔥 I can't wait for their first kiss and a truly hot night - with fun, but no comedy. What a wasted opportunity for them not to watch MANNER OF DEATH and the uniform buttons! hanging for dear life! Like seriously, it was right there 😤

The series is very pretty, just look at those aesthetic shots in a public toilet:

Omg, this guy:

Me:

Me 🤝 Dee about coffee:

(I shouldn't pick on Dee, if someone brought me coffee just the way I like it, I'd be as stupid as him 😑)

One of my 457,869 screen shots of this man, gosh, he's so fine:

[3liza]

i was looking at the pics of other dogs that are reputed to be German Shepherd + Labrador mixes like Churchgrim (although some are clearly not just lab + shep lol) and reading descriptions of their personalities and behavior, and after having grim a while i do really recommend the german shepherd/labrador retriever mix as an easy, trainable dog with (usually) a good mellowing of the worst traits of either breed. all the descriptions of the dogs that are clearly just a shep/lab are the same as grim, with the exception that others' dogs seem to need more exercise than grim does

they tend to be very intelligent, but not border collie-level obsessive, and have a little of the GSD drive, but the anxiety that often makes GSDs insane is seriously chilled out by the dopey labrador genes. grim will woof at strange noises but is otherwise completely silent, not tending to whine and yodel like GSDs do. he will immediately stand down when he finds out what alarming noises are. he is unbothered by fireworks. he's suspicious of strangers approaching the house, which i want, but has never been aggressive and is extremely friendly when in public and when introduced to people. he is gentle with children and anyone with physical disabilities, giving them space. the shedding situation is bad, but the odor and drooling are very minimal. you dont get stinky matted bib fur or runny eyes. he likes food enough to respond well to food rewards for training, but not so much that he will chew open a cooler and eat everything inside like labs tend to do. he's big, but perfectly comfortable in an apartment with a few short play sessions a day and two walks. he's not greasy like labs tend to be, but still wont soak up water if he walks in the rain, you can just have him shake before he comes in or briefly towel him and he's dry. dirt and water and detritus falls off easily, no matting, and he never gets too cold. he has excellent weather tolerance generally, although he dislikes being hot. he likes to play and run, but only for about 10 minutes, and has never objected to long distance walking, but most of the time he just wants to hang out around the house. he learns new words and commands instantly. he clearly is bonded to me above everyone else, but isnt pushy or clingy and will obey commands from other people politely. he enjoys a hug or a petting, but doesn't invade my personal space or beg for constant attention and contact. he has no separation pathology and can be crated without stress or left alone for several hours without any issue.

he's just a very easy dog. i never had any of the issues people seem to have with puppies or training or toileting or anything. aside from his lumps (lab trait) and allergies (GSD trait) he has essentially no problems.

i mention this because this type of dog gets passed over at shelters a lot, and there are a LOT of them at shelters. because theyre large and just look like generic "dogs", which is boring, and people tend to assume their size means they cant be indoor, apartment potato dogs, and overlook them for flashier, more exotic adoptees, they get euthanized a lot. the latter reason, looks, is a really stupid way to pick someone who's going to live with you in your house for 15 years. what you want, what everyone actually wants, is a dog that can hang. you want a dog you can take places who will not embarrass you, and can go without exhausting grooming upkeep without developing health problems, a dog that wont bark at people through your fence, who can be trusted to be left in a (not hot) car or a yard or an apartment alone for short periods, who can sit on the porch and greet the mailman politely, but who will just as easily kill a home invader. you want a dog who never barks unless it's important. this kind of intelligence is really rare in dogs. theyre usually just kinda in their own world, no matter how much they love you. this type of "can parse most english sentences and respond" and "understands situational context and subtext" type of intelligence is much rarer, and i think it's a common trait of this particular breed mixture.

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 722: Honda, howl!!

Pag 1

1: Honda from Kamo High jumped ahead!!

2: And the two guys from Sohoku, last year's national champion, aren't moving!!

3: No!!

You're not composed anymore, Sohoku!!

4: Honda is so fast!!

He's accelerating so quickly!!

Don't tell me....

Pag 2

1: That the one who will run in the Inter High as Chiba prefecture's representative, will be Kamo High.....

Pag 3

1: Will it be Kamogawa High!?

2: He caught up to Naruko, who had ran ahead on his own!!

Pag 4

1: He'll pass him!!

Naruko has been running in the lead by himself, so of course he'll be at the limit of his stamina

2: Dammit, I'm reaching my limit!!

Ugh-

3: My brothers' dream

The dream of going to participating in the Inter High, I'll make it come true!!

4: You'll see.....!!

You'll see!!

5: I'll win this race

6: and with everyone's blessings

Pag 5

1: I'll magnificently face the Inter High – that's my vision of my future!!

3: He passed Naruko of the champion, Sohoku!!

Honda from the local Kamo High is jumping to the top!!

Pag 6

1: Dammit, I'm goping to be left behind!!

2: Maybe, if you had enough water in your bottle.... huh?

5: Today was hotter than expected

I can see you're exhausted, you can't pull out as much power as before

6: But this is our hometown, so we are prepared for the weather to become so hot

8: I'm the third and smartest of the Honda siblings, Honda Ryouzou- remember it!!

Kamo High is accelerating!! He's leaving Naruko behind!!

Pag 7

1: That's right....

I'm sure

2: Since the ranking in the Inter High is by right of the prefecture, we'll have the one-digit numbers

And I

3: will have the number 1 bib!!

5: Sohoku!!

Sohoku!! One streng cyclist jumped ahead!!

Pag 8

1: Move!!

Sohoku!!

What are you doing!!

4: I came here to see Sohoku's overwhelming victory!!

6: What the hell!!

Pag 9

1: Why aren't you moving

Aren't you going to move, Sohoku's Imaizumi!?

2: Kashiwahigashi's.... Nomura?

3: I'm not saying this because we're opponents, but you're acting weird today!!

4: Yeah, the heat is affecting our bodies, so we're waiting for our supplies

5: Waiting!?

The heat really made you weird- the supply place is ahead

7: So, go ahead!!

8: Don't worry, our supplies

Pag 10

1: Are behind us

3: Behind? You mean someone is carrying them?

No way they can do that

4: Yeah, our unreliable first years

Pag 11

1: First years!? You gave such an important role to first years!?

2: Is there a problem?

Obviously!!

3: They're not used to high school's races, they're inexperienced, and they're behind carrying weights- how can they get here without troubles!?

4: It's not....

Uh-uhm

5: Maybe

I think maybe they're having a hard time, but

6: I think they'll come

7: I'm sure they understand how important this role is, so.....

After all, the two people who are coming now, even in the race in the club the other day....

Pag 12

1: They worked really hard!!

Pag 13

5: Two people are coming from behind

Those jerseys.... they're Sohoku's first years!!

6: I.....

Pag 14

1: I see them, Rokudai!!

Gau!!

2: This time Imaizumi-san and Onoda-san are really here!!

3: They're.... they're here, really....!!

Did you anticipate all this....

…. no

4: This heat was completely unexpected

And also....

Pag 15

1: the fact that they look like the “helping hands*” (LOL)

You- you look cool, Rokudai-kun

*(NdT.: a comedy performance in which one person wears an haori on their shoulders, while another person behind them puts their hands through the sleeves of the haori and feeds the person in front)

2: But

3: It weirdly suits you

We caught up, senpai!!

4: You made it, Kinaka

Good job

Waaa- yessir!!

5: Thank you to you, too, Rokudai-kun

Gau!!

Huh!?

Pag 16

1: Ah- this- don't worry about it

“Beast mode”

Gau

2: “Release”!!

Teh?

3: Ah-teh- uhm- ah, Back-gate slope-sa..... senpai!!

Incredible

Is this a stunt?

How are you next to me!? Teh!? Huh!?

4: Alright, we have no time to take it easy

5: He-here, senpai

Thank you

Waaa I'm being helpful! Teh!!

Pag 17

1: We have to catch them

2: At full throttle!!

4: Ahead!!

5: Let's go, Sakamichi!!

Yes!!

6: Do your best!!

-your best, teh!!

Pag 18

1: Sohoku is accelerating!!

Pag 19

1: Follow us, first years!!

….

… huh?

2: Uh... huh... what, we have to follow too!?

Teh!?

Ah?

No-yes!? Huh!?

They finally made a move!

Sohoku jumped ahead!

3: Of course

Who will bring the supplies to Naruko?

4: Ah.... but....

We've been chasing hard since earlier so.... we....

Just barely...

5: Keep up as uch as possible, please

Wa-

Ngh... ah.... but.... (quietly)

6: And also, please, look us from behind

Pag 20

1: Look Sohoku's overwhelming victory

[walker-extended-universe]

Night Shift

Relationship(s): Cassie Perez/Cordell Walker

Tags/Warnings: Food Service, Customer Service, Bad Customers, Meet-Cute, Alternate Universe

Summary: Cassie has been working at her family's restaurant since she was "gently encouraged" to leave the Rangers after her partner was counted KIA. Things haven't been so hot for her since then, until a certain- very tall very handsome- customer gets seated in her section for a blind date

A/N: blame @theladywyn for this lol they got me on the Cassie/Cordell bandwagon

Taglist: @ihavepointysticks, @theladywyn, @klaatu51, @neptunium134, @itsjessiegirl1

-----

Cassie took a deep breath, soaking in the cool night air. The front of house was a reasonable temperature but the kitchens (where she ended up spending far too much time) were nearly unbearably hot. One of the many reasons why she didn’t want to take this job. But she didn’t have much choice. After her partner went missing (not dead, she knew Miles wasn’t dead), she was “gently encouraged” to take a leave of absence “to clear her head”. Basically, she was fired for asking too many questions but they couldn’t actually fire her for that without getting slammed with a lawsuit so they did everything they could to make her want to quit. She hates that it worked.

So with nothing better to do and a hovering Grandmother who still has the energy to keep up with the family restaurant, she was “gently encouraged” to take on a few shifts to make up for the lack of staff. She shouldn’t be complaining. The family restaurant was hardly a legacy to sneeze at and the customers tipped well for the experience. She just hated how stuck she felt, like all the work she did climbing the law enforcement ladder was for nothing and she was still some awkward teenager scraping together nickels from the tip jar.

Her alarm went off, letting her know her break time was up. One more deep breath and she stepped back into the dull monotony of her daily existence.

“Customer just came in,” the hostess warned her. “I put him in your section; he looks like he tips well.”

Cassie thanked her and grabbed a menu before walking back out into the restaurant.

She clocked the new customer from across the room. He was so tall, it was impossible to miss him and the hat he set on the table only made him stand out more. He was alone but alternating between checking the doorway and his phone- waiting for someone? He dressed well; probably waiting on a date.

Another waiter bumped into her and she chided herself for getting lost in Investigator Mode before slapping on a smile and approaching his table. “Hello! Welcome to the Bar-B-Que Kingdom of Texas. I’m Cassie; I’ll be your waitress this evening. Can I start you off with something to drink?” The practiced spiel sounded stilted to her own ears as she handed him the menu; she feared the day it started to sound natural.

The guy startled, looking up with a brief smile. “Uh, hi. Yeah, can I get a glass of water, no lemon?”

“Sure! Can I get you an appetizer with that? Maybe some chili fries?”

He shook his head. “That sounds great but I shouldn’t. I’m waiting on someone.”

“Got a hot date?” she teased with a wink.

He chuckled. “Uh, maybe? My brother set it up but I like to think he knows my type.”

“Brothers.” She tutted and shook her head. “I’ll get you that water while you wait. Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Will do.” He gave her a mock salute and went back to checking his phone.

Cassie brought him his water a few minutes later, still no sign of his date. She checked on her other tables and by the time she finished topping up everyone’s drinks, the guy was nibbling on a bread roll and typing on his phone. Still, no sign of a date. She tried to hover without seeming like she was hovering, getting more and more concerned as time ticked on.

After 15 minutes passed, she bit the bullet and grabbed some chili fries from the kitchen. “On the house,” she said, setting the small plate in front of him.

He startled, setting his phone down and looking between her and the plate. “I-I didn’t-”

She shrugged. “I know, but you looked like you were getting hungry and those were about to get thrown out because they were getting cold.” Not entirely true but he didn’t need to know that. “I just figured you could snack on something besides bread while you wait for your date.”

He smiled, showing off his dimples and further demonstrating that he didn’t deserve to be left out in the cold like this. “I appreciate that. Thank you.”

As much as Cassie wanted to stay and chat, she did have other tables to tend to. She kept an eye on him though as she refilled drinks and dealt with customer demands. It was almost another half an hour before she saw someone else finally join him at the table, so she made her way over. “Hi! Can I get y’all anything or do you need more time to look at the menu?”

“Um, yeah, I’ll get a sweet tea, extra sugar to drink. Oh, and also the onion rings for an appetizer,” the woman said, not even looking up at her. “I still need a few minutes to decide what to get…. Also, where’s the vegetarian section of the menu? I’m on a diet.”

Cassie bit her tongue and reminded her of the Customer Service speech her abuela gave her last week. Do whatever the customer wants; we don’t need a bad Yelp review . “Well, we’re a barbeque restaurant, ma’am,” Cassie said carefully. “We don’t really have a vegetarian section of the menu. If you’re looking at lower calorie options we serve white meat and-”

“Are you kidding me?! How do you not have a vegetarian option? I’ve never been to a restaurant that didn’t have some kind of vegetarian option. Isn’t that the standard these days? Don’t you have a salad or something? Anything at all???”

“Please don’t raise your voice at me,” Cassie said, leaning away from her. “I was about to explain that we do offer wrap options for our sandwiches. It’s not strictly vegetarian but-”

“Ugh. Unbelievable.” The woman thrust her menu at Cassie. “I’ll take the chicken sandwich as a wrap option I guess.”

“Of course, ma’am.” She turned to the man, who looked as surprised as Cassie felt offended. “Anything for you, sir?”

“Just the ribs, extra sauce if that’s okay?” he said quietly, pointedly not looking at his date.

“That’s perfectly fine. I’ll just run this to the kitchen and it’ll be about 20 minutes for the main dishes, alright?”

“Fine,” the woman snapped.

Cassie plastered on her best smile and left the table, shooting a sympathetic look to the man before she left.

The date didn’t improve from there. Cassie couldn’t be there for all of it, naturally, but she caught sizeable glimpses. She saw the woman prattling on about this or that (mostly stories about other “terrible” customer service experiences from what Cassie heard) while her date barely said a word. Probably couldn’t get a word in even if he wanted to Cassie thought while she did another round of drink refills. The only reaction she ever saw out of him was the occasional cringe. Otherwise, he had a pretty good poker face. She felt bad for the guy; he seemed really nice and he definitely didn’t deserve to be stuck with a date that showed up super late and was rude on top of it. She hoped he gave his brother what for when he got home. What the hell had he been thinking, picking a woman like this for his gentleman of a brother? She tried to stop by the table a little more often than she should just to give the poor guy a break.

She was doing a round of sauce refills when the tipping point occurred.

“Hey, you.” Snap. Snap. “We’re ready for the check.”

Cassie had been prepared to just write this whole thing off as a bad date and another run-of-the-mill customer service horror story. But the one place where she drew the line wer customers trying to summon her like she was a damn dog.

She stopped what she was doing and turned toward their table with a fake smile. “I’ll be with you in just a minute, ma’am. I just need to-”

“Didn’t you hear me? I said , we’re ready for the check. Get it now.”

“Lucy, that’s enough,” the man said, voice deeper and colder than it had been all evening. “She’s clearly in the middle of something. It won’t kill you to wait 30 extra seconds.”

“Ugh, it’s called basic customer service, Cordi.” She probably said something else after, but Cassie wasn’t really listening.

“I’ll get the check. Just give me a moment to set these down.”

Lucy smirked. “That’s better.”

Cassie had to walk by their table to get to the checkout station and collect their bill. She knew she shouldn’t do what she was thinking of. Abuela would chew her out for it. But Lucy had dug her own grave at this point.

Just as Cassie was passing them, she “tripped” and the little bowls of barbeque sauce went flying and landed all over Lucy. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, ma’am!” she exclaimed, drawing on her childhood acting career. “I’m new here and I’m not used to the layout and-”

“UGH!” Lucy got out of her chair, wiping sauce off her face. “You ruined my dress! Are you stupid or something?! Ugh!” She stormed off without another word, leaving her date to pick up the bill (not that she would’ve contributed anyway).

Cassie turned back to the table, appropriately sheepish look on her face, just to see the man- Cordi- laughing into his napkin. He met her eyes and quickly covered his laugh with a cough. “Uh…. You can bring the check whenever you have time,” he said, slowly lowering the napkin.

“Of course, sir. Just a few minutes.”

Cassie still had to hand out the extra sauce and fetch someone to clean up what she spilled. But once that was done, she grabbed the check (and a small, free dessert) and brought it back to his table. “Here you are. Will that be cash or card?”

“Card.” He filled out the check quickly and handed it back to her with his credit card. Cassie read it on her way back to the register and her jaw almost hit the floor when she saw the size of the tip. Almost 50%.....

She quickly processed the card before he could call her back and tell her he made a mistake. If she took the opportunity to take down his name so she could do a little cyberstalking later ( Cordell B Walker; dignified ), that was her business.

Cordell thanked her when she brought the check back and he graced her with a small smile before he left.

The rest of her shift was fairly normal and boring. The customers were mostly decent and no one made any unreasonable demands. No more outstanding tips either, but she didn’t expect much in that department. By the time her shift was up, her feet were aching just as bad as usual and she barely felt the weight of her tips in her wallet. Her family’s restaurant did well enough to pay minimum wage to their workers on top of the tips they made but it still never felt like enough.

The cool night air felt nice compared to the stuffy inside of the restaurant. She double checked that she had all her things and started heading toward her car, ready to go home and put her feet up for the night.

“Uh, hi. Cassie, was it?”

The voice took her by surprise and she whipped around, fist raised to strike- only pausing when she saw it was Cordell. “Oh. Hi. Yeah, it’s Cassie. What are you still doing here?”

Cordell smiled sheepishly- God are all of his smiles cute? - and awkwardly shifted his weight from foot to foot. “I… I wanted to thank you for earlier. The chili fries were delicious and….also for getting rid of Lucy. I was afraid I was going to have to deal with another few dates with her….”

Cassie relaxed slightly. “It was no problem, really. But don’t tell anyone else I did that on purpose? My abuela will give me a lecture if she finds out I purposefully ran off a customer…..”

Cordell chuckled. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. I doubt Lucy would’ve been a returning customer regardless though.”

She shrugged. “Eh, maybe. But we’re probably getting a bad Yelp review now….”

“That’s okay; I left a five star review on Yelp and Google Reviews. That should balance it out.”

Cassie smiled. “Well, thank you for your service, Mr. Walker.”

Cordell grimaced. “Uh, Mr. Walker is my father. You can just call me Cordell. Or Cordi. That’s what my friends call me.”

“Cordell it is then. Is there anything else you wanted to tell me?”

Cordell rubbed the back of his neck. “Well…. You obviously know I’m looking to date someone and my brother clearly doesn’t have the best taste in blind dates so- and you don’t have to say yes but-”

“Yes.”

Cordell blinked at her. “I’m sorry.”

“Yes; I’d love to go on a date with you. Just not here, okay?”

He smiled. “Of course. I know a great place. I can give you my number and we can set something up. My schedule’s a little hectic with work but-”

“I’m sure we can work something out.” Cassie got out her small pen and notepad from her purse and wrote down her number. “Text me, okay?”

He took the paper. “Yeah. For sure. Thanks, Cassie.”

“No problem, Cordi.”

[fillycolt]

15 mutuals 15 questions

thank you for tagging me @skelkankaos :3 :3 :3

1. Are you named after anyone? ... unfortunately yes. queen elizabeth. my mum's family has been naming their kids that way for like 3 generations and the name aside from that has a lot of importance to me so i kept it

2. When was the last time you cried? i don't know, probably last week?

3. Do you have kids? no but i consider my pets my children (not in the annoying "i know what parenthood is like! i have a dog" thing but bc i love them very very much and i feel strongly like a mum to them etc)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? not super i think?? i mostly tag along if someone uses sarcasm but i sometimes do myself. i prefer when sarcasm is either obvious in that it's suuuuper clearly exaggerated or when it's just completely nonsensical and probably only funny to me so i dont do it much organically

5. What sports do you play/have played? i never like, got on a team for anything, or did anything outside of gym glass, but i liked badminton. oh and in grade 4 i went to my school district's like cross country running thingy and i got in 101st place. one of the only non seizure/basically toxic shock syndrome related times i've fainted was next year's tryouts when it was too hot with a jacket but too cold without and i ran with a jacket on. oh and um i've played bloodbowl a couple times but also was never in a league but like i was gonna be

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people? their fashion probably

7. What’s your eye color? green and orange :3

8. Scary movies or happy endings? of the two i guess scary movies

9. Any special talents? i'm like, really good at controlling my experiences while high. i can write pretty good stories and shit. i can make any outfit work

10. Where were you born? ottawa

11. What are your hobbies? writing, making weird art, making and listening to music, playing video games, collecting my Collections

12. Do you have pets? I DO i love to talk about them. lentug is my beautiful snake daughter, she is a ball python, she is about a year old now but i celebrate my pets' birthdays as the day i got them and it hasnt been that long yet. shes so sweet and loves getting water poured on her and shes SUCH a good eater. then theres gawi, my precious guinea pig daughter who is a sweet little angel baby with me and licks instead of biting and has Big Feelings and Issues and Particularities but she is a bully to the others just a little bit. then dr pepper, who just turned a year old recently also and is a weird little freak of a guinea pig. she's a himalayan rex so she's albino, colorpoint, and has weird curly/frizzy fur and she bites to maim and she's SO fucking tiny even though she was the biggest of the litter and from two of the biggest guinea pig breeds. then there's my new little beasts: bobo, my old lady guinea pig who is all rumpled and so sweet and soft and loves her cuddly houses, and caramel, my even weirder freak naked beast of a guinea pig, whose ears slap when she shakes her head.

13. How tall are you? 5′5 since i was 11 or 12 lol

14. Favorite subject in school? english til high school then nothing bc i hated being there

15. Dream job? if i could publish my books and get like crazy famous without having to jeopardize my odsp til i'm solidly able to keep myself afloat for the indefinite future/at least longer than a few months so i can get back on odsp if needed... and i can use my money to travel across north america to write about weird little towns in different places... and to other places in the world to try all sorts of regional fruits and vegetables and snacks and do youtube videos about them. yeah that's it

tagging @thing2taste @1011100010 @shadowtouched @indicabutch @pranaferox444 @unseelie @rcris123 @xxm0nstrrrk1dxx @groblinboy @agatke @mothernatureslonelyson @wizardkins @07170 @forestsecretshack @solar-satan

[bamfspock]

Story time:

The first time I fainted was in 2012, which is impressive when I've had autonomic hypotension since 1988 (bc rheumatic fever being super rare =/= no one getting it, as 4 yo me learned the hard way lol). It was a hot day, I'd been walking around with a friend outside, and then we went to an ice cream shop as one does on hot days.

There was, of course, a long line - wait time was about 15 minutes. So there I am, overheated, on my feet with little movement...didn't take long to start getting woozy. Usually when this happens I'll say 'fuck it' and sit wherever I am - I've even sat on the floor of NYC subway cars, because better to get whatever nastiness is there on my jeans instead of on my face when I faint - but for some reason I tried to tough it out this time (stubbornness the reason was stubbornness).

By the time my friend and I have our ice cream in hand and are at the till, my vision is fuzzing white and my sense of hearing is halved and my face is numb and I'm just feeling pretty ass overall. I tell my friend quick that I don't feel well, and could he pay for me for now so I can go sit, and he's like yeah of course and nabs me a bottle of cold water too 'cause he's a mensch.

So I go outside, water in one hand, cup of ice cream in the other, and start heading for the starbucks next door that has an outdoor seating area. At this point I can't hear my footsteps and can barely see, but I'm just a few feet away now, I'm gonna make it, it's fine.

This is when my right hand checks out and the bottle of water drops onto the sidewalk. It immediately starts rolling towards the street, and without thinking I automatically lean down to grab it. I miss, of course, because my coordination is shot, and from the corner of my eye I see my friend trot past me to get it, and then I take metaphorical leave of my senses and think 'oh he's got it' and stand.

Fade to black.

I come to starfished on the sidewalk, my friend hovering over me, looking and sounding freaked out. He offers to help me up and I manage to mumble something about how if I try to move right then I'm gonna pass out again. So he's waiting, continuing to freak out, and I'm lying there, dazed and trying to figure out if I hit my head (I didn't, which was very lucky) and generally waiting for feeling to return to my body so I can figure out what I *did* hurt, and this is when I notice it.

It takes a couple tries, but I roll my head to the side, towards where my left arm and hand are hanging off the curb.

There, in my left hand, is my ice cream, still gripped tight and 100% intact.

And oh man was I excited. I was giddy with oxygen starvation, and something cold and sweet was like mana from heaven with how shit I felt in the aftermath, and anyway to this day I tell people this story all the time because somehow even when my brain blue screened and my whole body went limp something somewhere deep inside me knew I better not fucking drop the fucking ice cream.

[Bonus: my second and last time fainting was during my tilt table test. It was just shy of the 10-minute mark, and my bp was 32/24, which explains why I can get such gnarly presyncope all the time but rarely faint.]

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

280 of 2023

Hot; bold if you agree. 1. I listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. 2. I can play Hot Cross Buns on the recorder. 3. I don’t like hot dogs. 4. Hot pockets are gross. 5. I’ve said “That’s hot”. 6. I have been told to wait a “hot second”. 7. Hot chocolate > Hot tea. 8. I’ve listened to Cobra’s Starship’s CD: Hot Mess 9. I have ridden in a Hot Air Balloon. 10. I would rather be considered a “cutie” than a “hottie”.

Cold; bold if you agree. 1. I hate being cold. 2. I currently have a cold. 3. Ice cream is my favorite dessert. 4. I don’t drink enough water. 5. I have visited or stayed in an Ice Hotel. 6. I would rather go somewhere cold for a vacation. 7. I wouldn’t do much for a Klondike bar. 8. Snow is overrated. 9. Winter is my least favourite season. 10. I have been given the cold shoulder.

Yes; bold if currently, you would say “yes” to these questions. 1. “Should you be doing something else?” 2. “Do you listen to the radio?” (lol) 3. “Have you ever left the country you live in?” 4. “Are bolding surveys your favorite type of surveys?” 5. “Do you think you will ever like a U.S. President?” 6. “Is your favourite food a type of junk food?” 7. “Is your favourite band currently performing?” 8. “Have you ever cried watching a Disney movie over the age of 15?” 9. “Do you ever wonder if you would be friends with fictional characters?” 10. “Do you ever get paranoid that your dreams are telling you something you don’t want them to?”

No; I do not have… Touch-screen phone Skinny jeans Coffee maker Red nail polish Job Curling iron Tissues Ice cube trays Bulletin boards Apples to Apples (what is that even?)

In; I have been in… The White House A limousine A museum in Chicago The set of a movie or television show A wax museum A haunted house A long line A midnight release An opera house or theatre

Out; I like these outdoor activities bike riding roller blading ice skating walking a dog hiking swimming tanning kayaking playing sports rock climbing

Up; I like… balloons clouds ceiling fans rain snow Chinese lanterns Stars Planetariums Kites Birds

Down; these things bring me down, bold if you agree. Oversleeping Staining or tearing a piece of clothing Getting ditched Sold out tickets Movies with sad endings Books with endings Being a third wheel Not knowing anyone at an event When a restaurant is out of what you’re ordering Seeing a friend upset

Wrong; I have been wrongly accused of… Being upset with someone Breaking something Finishing the rest of a food or drink Knowing important information and not sharing it Witnessing something Laughing at something that wasn’t funny Forgetting to do a chore Holding out on someone Stealing Cheating on someone

Right; to my right, there’s… A television An alarm clock A beverage A candy A towel Christmas/hanging lights Someone else in the room A wall A window A pillow

Black; I like… James Bond Batman Men in Black Rock n’ Roll Harry Potter Night Time Graduation Orchestras Oreos Bowling Snow Days Letters Cotton Balls Teeth Macbooks Sugar Weddings Masquerades Ghosts

Fight; I have participated in, or I would like to be in a… Gang fight Gladiator fight Cat fight Wrestling Match Dance Off Medieval Battle Kung Fu Fight Wizarding Duel Civil War Yo Momma Fight

Break Up; Reasons I would break up with a significant other. Being paranoid of your friends of the opposite gender. Forgetting my birthday. Kissing or anything more sexual with another female (or male) Putting his friends before me. Making an important decision without my input. Going somewhere that would cause us to have a long-distance relationship. Being addicted to a video/computer game. Having bad hygiene. Forgetting to call often, or not texting me enough.

Kiss; I have been kissed… In the rain. In the snow. In a body of water. In a different city. Goodnight. In a vehicle. In a bathroom. In a doorway. For a photo. Good morning.

[poppy5991]

Since I’m bored and if you’re curious about the blogger behind the blog…

1. I have three tattoos and want more. My tattoos are actually based on flower language and have meanings based on the flowers in them. I want to get a large back piece next.

2. Fave color is purple!

3. Gluten free pop tart and coffee was my last meal. Ya girl is gluten-intolerant.

4. It’s currently mid-morning.

5. Aries

6. Not a movie, but Over The Garden Wall

7. Hmm, I don’t think I really have one? I actually mostly read. I don’t own a tv and I’m not a person that rewatches stuff. Though this is an MHA blog so maybe I should say that 😂

8. I’d like something akin to a commitment ceremony with tailored legal agreements for property division/medical power/etc. But I don’t want to get legally married since I don’t like how the US marriage laws are setup. I want separate finances and I’m childfree so there’s no real need to commingle interests. Also I’m an atheist so no religious reason to marry.

9. ESTJ

10. I really liked Scottish accents when I went.

11. Yes, I have a few scars from a bad burn. But they’re not noticeable unless you know they’re there. A teapot of boiling water fell into my lap and I got second degree burns 😅 it healed fine tho

12. Yes, my real name is very unique. The blog name is based off one of my tattoo flowers.

13. My apartment very much resembles a dark academia-esque library.

14. My real name translates to the meaning “nobility and grace”

15. I got my Bachelors in Microbiology in 2017 and my Masters in Epidemiology in 2019. I was actually top of my class and president of multiple student organizations, but would go back for a PhD over my dead body (everybody was kinda shocked that I didn’t). Unfortunately, I came up through a very harsh/toxic academic culture in STEM. I don’t miss it.

16. Lol no, I tried to get my ears pierced as a preteen and turns out I’m allergic to like everything. So I can’t have piercings. I can wear cuff earrings though.

17. Blue eyed 🧿

18. Generally whatever is easiest? I tend to grow it out long in the winter and chop it short again in the spring into a bob.

19. Well, my family let us drink wine/champagne with them as teenagers, but I don’t think I officially went out and got drunk with friends until my 21st bday. I volunteered at a STEM outreach for high schoolers the next day hungover for the first time because I wanted extra points on my immunology exam lol

20. Yes, the most drunk I ever was resulted in me telling my friend that she was a beautiful mermaid. I tend to just compliment people and laugh a lot.

21. I fear the unlived life. Also, spiders.

22. Would rather be too cold. I live in a hot place and blehhh

23. I like chilly weather. The crisp and cozy kind of cold.

24. Fall 🍁

25. Cats!

26. I have two kitties, both rescues. I adore them. One of them meeps like the roadrunner instead of meowing. 🐱

27. I have an inherited sleep disorder so the answer is a whopping two days without sleep. Thankfully the meds I’m on now regulate sleep pretty well.

28. Tennis, rock climbing, reading, traveling, drawing, writing, cooking, learning about history

29. Literally everywhere. I’ve been to 18 countries and my goal is to hit 20 by age 30. Trying to decide if I should do Costa Rica or the Nordic countries next.

30. Maybe flight prices are my most googled?

31. Podcast app

32. Definitely a city person, although I like to go hiking/do nature activities. I just wouldn’t want to live in a rural area bc I would get bored.

Get To Know Me !

Again, idk why I made this but enjoy I guess (some of these may be uncomfortable for y’all to answer, idk).

🖌 - Do you have/want any tattoos?

💚 - What’s your favourite colour?

🍕 - What’s the last thing you ate?

🕰 - What time is it where you are rn?

🌟 - What is your zodiac sign?

🌍 - What is your favourite accent?

⚡️ - Do you have any scars?

🌺 - What’s your MBTI type?

🥀 - Favourite animated movie?

📺 - Favourite show?

😂 - Are you ticklish?

💍 - Do you ever want to get married?

😳 - Do you like your name?

💙 - What colour is your bedroom?

🤓 - How did you get your name?

🎓 - When did/do you graduate?

🍄 - Do you have/want any piercings?

👀 - What colour are your eyes?

👱🏻‍♀️ - What is your go to hairstyle?

🥂 - Have you ever drank underage?

🍾 - Have you ever gotten drunk?

😱 - What’s your biggest fear?

🥵 - Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

🌦 - What’s your favourite weather?

🍂 - What’s your favourite season?

🐷 - What’s your favourite animal?

🐶 - Do you have any pets?

😴 - What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

🎨 - Any hobbies?

🛩 - If travelling was free, where’s the first place you’d go?

🎇 - What’s your most searched thing on Google?

📱 - Favourite app on your phone?

🤠 - Are you more of a city person or a country person?

[posts-from-a-scarier-timeline]

So I'm in a coastal town I'm not going to name because I'm terrified but I think something really bad is happening.

Like 5 days ago we all got a series of emergency alerts on our phones from the police, followed by more emergency alerts from the Coast Guard and a few other branches of government. They all said the same thing: whatever we heard, whatever we saw, whatever we felt, DO NOT GO OUTSIDE. Then the TVs stopped working. Everybody was freaking out on the Facebook page for our town because we could only get the local news station and all they were telling us was that we couldn't go outside due to some unspecified emergency. Shortly after, we started experiencing massive earthquakes. I mean, I used to live in California, these are BAD. It's like every half an hour or so for ten minutes the Earth is moving like an ocean. My mom is away on a work conference a few towns over so my big sister and I ended up shoving all our furniture into one room and closing the door so it wasn't a danger to us, because like the cabinets and stuff were falling down.

Four days ago the power got cut completely. Our only communication has been our cell phones, where we can't text anyone or use the internet, but we're still getting alerts. People in armored cars keep driving by and knocking on doors. They're all in uniform but not one we recognize.

My cat got out yesterday and I've had her since I was a baby so I had to go get her. Since the shaking and the armored cars were on a pretty regular schedule I snuck out. I did find her and she's okay, just a little scratched up, which is the good news. But nothing in my town looks the same, it's all messed up. Like first of all, it's really really dark. I literally left at 9 a.m. and it was like walking around in dusk. There was also this thick dust everywhere and it got all over me and I'm all scratched up. A lot of the trees are dead and the leaves are gone which doesn't make sense. Every road I saw past the park has roadblocks.

There's also a bunch of sharp rocks everywhere, like spiky. All over the ground. They're also all wet and sticky. Overall, just gross and painful. The biggest rock was shiny and it had spikes but they were really small spikes everywhere instead of like one or two large spikes, and it was on top of the statue of our town's founder. It looks like a giant round boulder. I think normally I'd be worried about a normal boulder on top of that statue because that statue has had broken parts multiple times and I wouldn't trust it to hold up a boulder anyway but I also got this like, really intense weird feeling that scared me really bad when I came close to it, so I ended up leaving the park and trying to walk faster to my house. And I couldn't stop glancing behind me. Like the boulder was gonna follow me or something. IDK just really paranoid.

When I was speedwalking back to our house with the cat, all the dust in the air was making it really hard to breathe and I was thirsty. I'm not proud of this but the door to my friend's dad's little store was open and there was no one there so I drank a bunch of water bottles and carried a few more back home. I also took some toilet paper and some cologne and shaving cream because we don't have running water at home and I think me and my sister are both starting to stink.

I was totally going to pay my friend's dad back later but I ended up getting caught by this guy in uniform who yelled at me for being out. And I tried to explain, because, hello, my cat, but he just kept lecturing me. Then some lady in the same uniform came in and was asking if there was a problem. When she saw me she started swearing and then told the guy we had to report me to the superiors, and then they started arguing in another language. I was really tired at that point so I tried to sneak out but I started feeling really sluggish and weird. The guy caught up to me like 8 blocks later without his girlfriend or whatever and insisted on giving me a ride to my house, which was good because my house was like 20 blocks away. I threw up in his armored car and then I fell asleep for a couple minutes.

He ended up helping me up the steps and we got me and the cat inside but then I had to lay down on the couch. I've been really sick ever since I got home and so has my cat. We keep getting all hot and swollen and red and throwing up yellow powdery stuff. I haven't left the couch since last night.

The guy who brought me home is making me call him his badge number and is insisting on staying with us "until everything gets cleared up." He says we shouldn't have to stay alone because we're just kids. (Which is stupid because we're 15 and 17. We've been managing.) But he has been entertaining us by telling us stories and stuff, and he's been giving me off-brand Benadryl, so at least there's that.

I'm just really scared, honestly. He says it's gonna be a while before anyone can go in or out of the town or out of our houses. And he's been using his radio to communicate with people out of town but he can't get ahold of our mom, or any of our family. And no one outside of town knows what's happening because of a "media blackout." He says the uniforms are the good guys, that's why he's staying with us so I can heal up.

I hate not knowing exactly what's going on. And I hate being sick! I just feel so scared and alone and I keep hearing helicopters. I wish he'd tell us how long a while is...

lately you've been putting more effort into my blog than I have and it's been great stuff every time. Everyone thank @judefranknoir right now for pretty much co-running this blog at this point lol 👏👏👏

[sissyjamieray]

My journey into feminization how did it begin? It is difficult to pin point a specific age, but I would guess I was about 11 years old. Yes, confused by sexual urges and excitement when looking at pictures of pretty girls in magazine ads wearing only panties and bras. Mmm, then 'borrowing' intimate female garments and wearing them. Feelng the overwhelming rush of pleasure and my first orgasm while wearing female clothing. Through the years I've tried to suppress this urges to dress as a woman. Being married was so frustrating as my wife left her intimate garments all over the house. It was like being in a candy store: bras, panties, lingerie all within reach. Unable to resist I would carefully try on bra or nightie when she was out shopping. At one point she mentioned something about one nightie being worn out in the "wrong" places. But she never questioned me. After all why would her man be turned on by wearing panties? Looking back she was very smart, she knew better than to confront me head on, lol. She knew I would not admit it or make up some bullshit story. She was very subtle, one night after making love she asked me if I had any sexual fantasies, my response was no love, none that I can think of. Another time she make the following comment, " I wish I had something to poke you with". Wow, she was so close. I was a bit stunted, didn't have a good response, lol. Several months later during our forplay love making she starts licking my nipples, omg, wtf!! Do you like it she says, with her hand on my growing manhood there was no escape, no denial. You like it don't you? I said yes, grasping for air and moaning as she began to rub the tip of my cock with her finger while continuing to lick and suck on my nipples. Then she slid her hand below my balls and started stroking and messaging the area just above my ass hole. After five minutes or this action she get up, pulls off her soaked panties then leans towards me with panties in hand and whispers in my ear, ' guess what I found in your bag Jim?' I found at least 10 pairs of my panties Jim, wtf all stained with your cum! "So you like to jerk off and cum in my panties, really?" What could I say but yes. I tried to explain why but she was upset? She then took her wet panties wrapped them around my almost limp manhood and said show me how you like you jerk off im my panties! I was so embarrassed, but I was wrong to have taken her things, this was my punishment, Yes? I reached down and started stroking my cock but it was very limp by now, I could not get hard. She saw my problem and whispers in my ear, "what's the problem, sissy panty boy, can't jerk off in front of your hot sexy wife? never touch my things again!, if you do, you will never fuck or cum inside me again. Do you understand me? Yes, hon I understand, good. Now where are my panties, Uh where you put them dear, yes they are yours now. Uh, keep them clean and if you wear these out (giggle) we will go out together and buy you more. Yes, I'll let the pretty sales lady know my size and yours (giggle). One more thing, when we make love, make sure you are wearing a clean pair of lacy pink panties. You are my panty boy husband now (giggle). I guess you better learn to get excited and hard while wearing female panties or you will never fuck me again (giggle): panty boy. Next day I after work I set out the task of hand washing 'my' panties in hope of getting lucky later that evening. Ok, hot water and some laundry soap and a 15 minutes soak, rinse and then toss into the dryer should to the trick right? Right before we went to bed I quickly grabbed my panties and climbed into bed. My wife had been observing my laundry duties activities that evening and I assumed we were cool. My hopes of an evening of

having sex where dashed when she turned the lights on stating: it's panty check time, stand up and let examine your feeble attempts to clean these! Ok, I can still see your nasty stains, what temperature did you wash these in? Hot I relied, she laughed, you idiot you should have used cold, as now you've 'set' the stain and ruined a pretty pair of panties. Oh well I guess we will have to go panty shopping tomorrow. Maybe Victoria's Secret? I understand Nancy, your friend Mike's wife just started working there (giggle), maybe she can let us use her discount? She then put her hand on my softening member and said, 'well give it some thought, panty boy, good night. WTF, now she is straight up trying to sexually blackmail me and expose me really? I got out of bed headed for the bathroom sobbing, how could my sweet wife be so cruel. Fifteen minutes or so she knocks on the door, " Jimmy are you ok"? No I'm, how could I be ok when you want to humiliate me and expose my fetish to my friends? Oh you admit it now that you are little perverted panty stealing panty boy? Her words cut me through me like a knife, but she was right. Stand Jim, look at yourself in the mirror wearing my soiled panties, tell me baby who and what did I fall in love with? Then she placed her had on my limp cock and said, I love you but tell me about all your fetishes now or we are done: confess! I'm not going to play a guessing game with you understand! Sobbing, I began to spill my guys about how was molested by an older boy at 11, my Aunt confessed to dressing me as a girl when I was very young,

dressing my mothers lingerie. Yes, I've have fantasies about being fucked my a man while being dressed as a woman. With years in my eyes I looked at my wife, what she was crying too? Why are you crying I asked? I'm so sorry that so many people have hurt you babe and that you are so fucked up now. Maybe we can both get into therapy, you know get some professional help? But for this moment, let's promise to be more open and honest with our sexual feelings and desires ok? Babe I'm sorry I got do angry with you but you did sneak my panties? I had no idea that my panties turned you on so much to the point that you would willing wear them? She started rubbing my pantied cock as she spoke, you know Jim, have a little fantasy of my own. What she whispered in my ear next blew me away. Jim, sometimes I think about being with a woman, coddling and fondling each others breasts? Jim, I, I think I might be Bi? I sorry I've never shared this with you but you understand right ? At that moment, my cock began to swell, she got her answer. Now pulling my panties down she began licking the very backside tip of my cock, you know Jim, maybe I will be willing to support you, like helping you dress like a lady, apply make up and maybe if you wish be with a man as a woman. With these words I erupted a stream of thick sperm all over her beautiful face. Wow, that was fast hon, you agree with my suggestions? Awesome, now for your first lesson Jamie, lick up all the cum you sprayed over my face. Yes, play the part bitch you need to learn to love the taste of your cum. Yes, your female name is Jamie now, do you like it? That's right clean me up, good gurl. Now it's my turn to be pleasured, now be a good lesbian bitch and eat my sweet pussy, XOXO.

Chapter 2 The List

The next morning Carol, my wife was up early and out of the house without waking me. No breakfast or coffee, man that woman be slipp'in, I thought. Well, what looks good in the frig? Oh man, lookie here, a heart shaped note from wifey. [Hi Jim I went shopping with Margie this morning, not sure when I'll be back but, please pickup the following items at the corner drug store:

tampons, pantyhose, nail polish (pink), eye shadow base & palate, concealer, face primer, eyeliner (water proof), mascara, blush, bronzer, highlighter, lip gloss, cosmetic brush set, foundation, setting spray and pamprin. Jim, if you need help just ask the salesgirl in

cosmetics, you know the one you always flirt with, you know Desiree, giggle. Oh and make sure you are wearing the pink lace panties that I let in your drawer. They are yours now, Jamie. Love Carol XOXO, P.S., I've invited some friends over for dinner so please be home by 4 pm.] Groan, I HATE shopping, especially for girl stuff! Ok, so off to drug store I went, stright to the cosmetics counter, list in hand. There she was, Desiree behind the counter, may I help you, she asked? Desiree was the gorgeous offspring of Spanish and Irish parents, about 5' 9" light green eyes and light brown to blonde hair. Her makeup was always impeccable, skirts and blouse always tight and ample cleavage on display. Carol was right that I did flirt with Desiree in the past, but Carol was always with me. It was different now, I was alone and what she possibly thinking? I mean, Carol had always shopped for her own cosmetics and fem items? Looking into her eyes my mind went blank, dry mouth, etc. I handed her the list and mumbled, my wife needs this stuff and I have no idea. Sure, no problem, I can get these for. Carol is your wife right? Yeah, she was in earlier, something about a need for a change and wanted you and I to help her with a make-over surprise. I can help you with every thing on the list except the tampons, their in aisle 12. Oh, and I'll need your help with selecting the foundation shade to ensure a good color match. Ok, what ever I said, I'll be back with the wifey's tampons in a couple minutes. As I walked away, Desiree's last words, "color matching" stuck in my head... Carol's skin tone was much lighter than mine? Mmm, aisle 12, ok here we go, no idea really what to buy my wife, so many confusing choices. I must have been searching for the correct tampons for at least 15 minutes when Desiree found me. Hi, need some help? Absolutely? I have no idea what she needs. Laughing at my ignorance of feminine hygiene products, explained that Carol would at minimum need pads and most likely will need a tampon for her 'heavy' period flows. My suggestion is get her both. Is so sweet and thoughtful of you to do pick these up for you wife, I'm sure she appreciates it. Now let's go go back to the cosmetic department and I ring up your items? Sounds like a plan, I said. Ok, let's try this new foundation shade shall we? Desiree reached for my hand, this was a new level: physical contact. I could feel my heart beating faster, well if well if you have to I said? Desiree, her hand still gently touchind my hand, looked me in the eyes and said, Jim, it is necessary to be sure we get an accurate match and you do want to please your Wife don't you? Yes, of course I want to make Carol happy. Well good, smiling as she applied the foundation to my hand Desiree said, you know Jim, it's not like anyone's going to make assumptions about your sexuality. I mean, why would a handsome stud like you want to wear make up? Ok, of course your are right, I told her. Oh, awesome Jim, this color is perfect. Carol will love it.

Great what is the final damage for all this, I asked? Sure, your total comes to $75.65. Ok, wow this stuff sure adds up fast! Ok here's $76, as Desiree handed back my change she dropped a dime. Oh, so sorry, no problem I said bending over to retrieve .10 cents and at that moment exposing my pink lace thong panties in full view of Desiree. So humiliating, I was speechless. Desiree with a big smile handed me my merchandise but me close and whispered, I love a man who likes to embrace his feminine side, Carol is so lucky.

Chapter 3 - No Refunds, No Returns

So I returned home with all the cosmetics Carol had on your list. She met me as I entered our apartment with big hug, then said that she had to leave again. No big deal, but asked me to read a letter she had written to me. Ok, problem, writing letters was something we did when we first started dating. Jim, l'll be back in about 2 hours, so please read my little ' love' note before I return. One more hug as she felt up my ass for the outline of the thong panties, still wearing them I see? Good, I so happy you did, it says you respect my wishes. I am going to make you so happy you did. Then she kissed me deeply and left without saying where she was going? Oh well, now where is this letter? I found Carol's letter on my pillow, she started, my Dearest husband, tonight I will make your fantasy of being a woman a reality. Don't deny it Jim. I found your hidden stash of female undergarments, shemale porn, etc. Really, why did you NOT trust me enough with your kinky desires? No matter, I know now and I still you move than you realize. Tonight I will give your fantasy, but know this our relationship will change. The changes will be (giggle) sort of a role reversal? To start: take a nice hot bubble bath, yes use mine girly stuff XOXO. Next, use my sugar rub all over your body to exfoliate your skin and then shave all your body hair, yes lov, your arms, legs, chest, balls and ass. Next raise in with cold water

and gently dry ourself. Next, hydrate your skin with some lotion be liberal with it. Now Jim, you don't have much time left so get started. Oh, once your done with this bathing routine, look in your drawer and closet. Yes I picked out some cute girly things for you to wear love XOXO. Make sure you are wearing each item when I return? If NOT, trust me You will sorely regret it!! But I know you will be a Good girl for your wife, your Mistress now won't you? And don't act like you don't know how to put on a bra, panty hose, corset, or breast forms. Please Sissy, remember I know what you've doing when your alone and I'm at work. You see I also found your pictures lol. Well, no more secrets BITCH! I demand you to be ready for me to apply your make up and wig when I return. No excuses! Yes dear, I will be fully shaved and dressed when return. Ok, good, I will be at 7 pm sharp! Out of fear and excitement I started drawing my bubble bath. While the tub was filling I looked into the closet and drawer to see what my wife had purchased. My sweet wife had filled my drawer will so many pretty panties and bras all different styles and colours. These were all mine, really? Wow, what was in my closet? Just a quick peek, so many cute skirts, dresses and tops, all mine? Ok, time was slipping away and the tub was nearly full now. As instructed, I soaked in the fraguent bubble bath for a half hour so relaxing then scrubbed every inch of my body possible with a sugar exfoliate scrub. I then covered my body with a girly shaved cream and shaved my legs, arms, chest, groin, balls and ass. I then showed in cold water to rinse off the remaining shave cream. As I dried my body off the scent purfume and softness of my now hairless body caused me to feel so girly/ feminine, excited and horny. I resisted my base urges to pleasure myself and pushed on to getting dressed as it was almost time for my wife to return. So many panties so many choices, will of I selected a cute pink lace thong panties with matching bra and garter belt. Slipping the panties on another temptation to pleasure myself. Not enough time, 6:30 pm, still had to put on the breast plate and corset. I secured the 38 D breasts to my chest using the medical grade adhesive. Looking the mirror was a bit of a let down, so much work and I still looked like a man, a man with big breasts and small waist. I was nearly in tears when I heard the front door open, Carol would be coming in bedroom any moment and I was pretty much half naked. I quickly grabbed a blouse, skirt and heels got them on and posing on the bed, just as door opened. Knock, knock... omg Jim, Carol told me to just let myself in, that my make over project would be sitting on the bed. It was Desire, Carol WTF!! I was humiliated once again, I began sobbing uncontrollably, why Carol, why? Desiree gave me several tissues to dry tears. I don't understand, why would do this? She came closer and hugged me. I never been this close to Desiree or so absolutely vulnerable before. She knew just like Carol that I was to be a sissy no denial. Jim, she said, Carol is giving you a gift, this is what you want really. Carol loves you didn't understand or how to help you experience being a girl. I can sweet heart. Yes, Carol may have, did violate your privacy by sharing your sissy feelings with me but I agreed to help you both. She then kissed me on the lips and said go wash away those trears hon and let's transform you into a beautiful woman. Before she applied my make up she asked me to remove my skirt and blouse, something about not getting any make on my clothes, ok made sence? Desiree was wonderful explaining the fairly complicated process of applying the various types make up, contouring, eye shadow, liner, etc. I almost forgot that I was half naked inches away from a gorgeous woman. The scent of her purfume and beautiful cleavage got the best of my unrestrained manhood. Desiree noticed my problem and said, I see you are getting turned on baby? You like it that I'm feminizing don't sweety? Oh of course you do

[kurinoot]

[day 9] nine home remedies | kuroo tetsuroo

-> much to your wishes, your boyfriend who happens to be the captain of the boys volleyball team that you’re managing still went to practice despite being sick, so you give him a taste of your own medicine, literally

pairing: kuroo x reader

themes: fluff (with a bit of spice), manager!reader, some humor innit lol

warnings: mature innuendos here and there (and that’s it uwu), mild language (just one curse word lol)

word count: 3,379 words

note: sorry for the late LATE post. School has begun again and this fic is pretty long compared to the past ones :( but here’s the update now hehe I hope you guys like it! Also, thank you so much to @xmyshya, @ssrated1volleyballplayer, @meiansmistress​, and @vanille--kiss for proofreading this one for me! Father Meian would be so proud uwu. And also, to my friend who has been part of this since Day 1, @msmeowski​, I really owe you one!

“How many times do I have to tell you that you should’ve skipped practice today?” You sigh as you accompany your boyfriend with his arm slung over your shoulder to his house, albeit weak and flushed. Kuroo only grunts in response. 

“What, you’re my mom now?” He quips. You glare in his direction, as you have already given him an earful on how his health should be a priority and how he shouldn't choose practice over his well-being. As soon as you enter his house, his grandmother sees the two of you scurrying inside, greeting you with a gentle smile.

“Ah welcome Y/N-chan! Oh! What happened to you, Tekkun?” his grandmother remarks. 

“Baa-chan! It’s Tetsurou!” Kuroo coughs. You could only bow your head at her with respect as you speak on his weakened behalf. 

“Baa-chan! I told this rooster head right here to not go to practice for today because he’s sick, but he still did!”

“Oh, did he really now?” She replies as she instantly glares at her grandson, who is eyeing the sofa, seeking the comfort of its warm, soft surface. His grandmother then pinches hard on her grandson’s cheek. 

“You shouldn't make things harder for Y/N-chan!”

“Baa-chan! Your grandson is sick and you’re still scolding me?” He retorts, earning another pinch and earful from his grandmother before motioning you inside as she prepares the sofa for Kuroo to rest as you follow suit.

“Y/N-chan, will you help brew some tea and make Hachimitsu Daikon for Tetsu-chan?” his grandmother asks as she helps the captain on the couch. You nod before glaring at the sorry state of your boyfriend.

“You better not move from there, mister. I’m gonna brew you some tea.” You order as the captain could only painfully cough in reply, jokingly.

“Yes, ma!”

You quickly set up the kettle, placing it on the stove before preparing the tea. As you wait for the water to boil, you prep the Hachimitsu Daikon mixture, mixing the daikon and honey together before letting it set on the counter. You then hear his grandmother come to the kitchen, and you perk up at her smiling presence, taking two shopping bags with her.

“I’ll be going out to the market, Y/N-chan. Take care of Tekkun for me.” You wave goodbye as she leaves, amused at their cute relationship.

You leave the jar on the table to let the mixture come together as you lift the kettle and pour its contents into the mug with the tea leaves before serving it to your ailing boyfriend. 

“Sit up! Here’s some tea. It’ll help with your cold. Also, I made some Hachimitsu Daikon for you on the table, okay? Baa-chan taught me this one, and said that it was good for your sore throat.”

His hand feebly reaches for the mug in yours, brushing his fingers against yours. He holds your hand for a moment as he looks intently at you. “Manager-chan, I know you’re concerned about me right now,” Kuroo takes the mug from your hands, shifting his focus to the mug on his palms. “But I can take care of myself from here. The younger ones need their pretty manager.”

You quirk an eyebrow, unamused at his statement—huffing as you put your hands on your hips. “As the manager, and as your girlfriend, I’m obligated to take care of the entire team, which also includes my boyfriend. Besides, I’m pretty sure the others are worried about you as well.”

“You never go down without a fight, huh? How annoying,” he obnoxiously says, but thankful nonetheless. He blows into the mug before daintily sipping the tea, sighing in relief as he looks at you. “I didn't know I needed that. Thanks so much, baby girl,” he says with a smile.

Your heart warms at the gesture as you quickly grab your bag, pulling out your first aid pouch and grabbing a sheet of KoolFever, much to your boyfriend’s surprise. You quickly remove the film covering as you gently place it on his sweltering forehead, prompting Kuroo to sigh in contentment as the contrasting cool sheet lays over his spiking hot forehead.

“Ah~ sometimes I wish I could be sick forever...” he places the mug on the coffee table before suddenly pulling you to his lap. “You’d be my cute nurse, baby girl~” He burrows his flustered face to your chest, to which you only spit in disgust. You ruffle his hair as you chuckle in sarcasm. 

“Oh by the way, I’m telling Coach Nekomata to give you 15 more diving drills to make up for today.”

“B-baby, n-no need to be harsh on me,” Kuroo attempts to give you the cutest cat eyes, appealing to your cat-loving side, and although you feel the need to hug your man, you resist his advancements.

“Stop staring at me with those big eyes!” You shove his face away from you as you continue. “Also you’re sweaty, so I’ll get the bath running.”

You manage to untangle yourself from his arms before you enter the bathroom, drawing him a warm bath. Afterwards, you step out of the bathroom with the water running, with tufts of steam leaking out the door ajar.

“Oi, jiisan, bath’s ready!” You pull out a fresh white towel from one of the cabinets as Kuroo slowly stands up at your cue. You go to aid him as he walks on the way to the bathroom, pulling a half-scowl on his face.

“Oi, you do know that I’m not old, right?”

“Hm-hmm. Says the person who says ‘Ah, youth.’”

Kuroo, amused at your clapbacks, chooses to stay silent instead as you help him towards the bathroom. You check the water to see if it’s warm enough as Kuroo lethargically takes off his shirt, fumbling around. You chuckle at his helpless sight, amused at his feeble form, although your eyes keep lingering back to his sweaty torso. Thankfully, his head is stuck in his uniform, so he doesn't have a reason to tease you, and although you need to help him with his uniform, you try not to be tempted to touch his lean, muscular abdominals and his perking pectorals.

“Uhm, ah, I’ll leave you to it!” You shyly mutter as you attempt to scurry out of the bathroom, to no avail as your boyfriend pulls you into a hug, burying his head in your shoulder in the process. You feel his warm breath wantonly brush against the nape of your neck as his ripped torso touches against you, bringing blood on your cheeks in embarrassment. Your heart palpitates as you swallow the lump in your throat in anticipation.

“You perv, you intentionally looked at me while I was naked...” He provokingly whispers in your ear as he gently caresses your hair, leaving you with trails of shivers down your spine. 

“You do know that you need to be punished, right, baby girl?”

You grit your teeth at his underlying pestering as your thoughts are left at the tip of your tongue. Damn, he really knows how to push the right buttons, huh?!

Kuroo smirks at your struggle, more so with the flustered expression on your face, but feels all of his confidence go down the drain almost instantly. 

“I can’t just let an old man pathetically get stuck with his shirt on his head. Now, what would others—especially Lev and Yaku—say if they found out that their cool captain can’t even remove his shirt?”

T-This woman… Kuroo thinks as he feels his mind short circuit at the turn of events. He tries to push more buttons to try and rile you up, which only proves to be futile. 

You then break the ice before going out of the bathroom. “Now I’m gonna go out for a bit and I expect you to be undressed AND in the tub by the time I come back, okay Kuroo-jiisan?”

“Will you stop calling me jiisan already?!”

By the time you return, you are greeted by clouds of steam and you are graced with the view of your boyfriend naked and resting in the filled warm tub.

You then do a quick series of arm stretching, preparing yourself before grabbing the mint-scented shampoo placed in a small cupboard nearby. You squeeze a decent amount of it on your hand, lathering it before you massage the dollop of bubbles onto his scalp. As you massage the shampoo into his hair, you can’t help but feel relaxed in the atmosphere—you shampooing his hair, the calm sloshing sound of the rippling water, the gentle sounds echoing on the bathroom walls, the looming fresh scent of mint, and the almost inaudible sound of his purr.

Oh my gosh, he’s purring like a cat, you think in fascination as you continue threading your fingers onto his hair whilst humming contentedly. Meanwhile, the man in the tub is in complete relaxation mode, feeling satisfied at the sensation of the warm water and your presence. 

He releases a low purr as he simmers himself into the warm tub of sudsy water, closing his eyes at the soothing kneading of your hands in his hair. You then place a quick gentle peck on his shoulder before grabbing the shower head, rinsing his hair with care to avoid splashing water on your dry clothes.

“Ah, that feels really good...” you hear Kuroo unknowingly whisper in relief, which makes you feel warm and fuzzy with contentment. You then grab the soap sitting on the wall side of the tub, lathering it as you rub your way down his body. 

Another wave of soft purrs emanates from his lips as you gently knead the sore muscles of his back, instantly feeling the knots leaving his body. You feel him recline into your touch as he turns to putty in your hands, releasing a deep contented sigh. It doesn't last long as you rinse the trails of suds with water, leaving a final peck on his now clean shoulder.

“I’ll leave you for a minute.”

You make your way to the living room and grab the Salonpas and KoolFever from your bag, and proceed to the kitchen to grab a tray and pour another cup of the herbal tea. Once the Hachimitsu Daikon settles in, you look around for a spoon, carrying it alongside the container of the syrup. You head back to his room only to see Kuroo sitting on the bed, with his hair still wet and a towel hanging on his neck. 

You sigh as you place the tray on his bedside table before giving him a spoonful of the syrup. You grab his towel from his neck gently, shuffling to his back as you drape the towel over his head. Your fingers tenderly graze through his wet locks, which is surprisingly soft compared to his usual bedridden rooster hair. Tempted, you leave soft pecks on his sweltering forehead while continuing to dry his hair. His hazel eyes gaze at the tray before seeing the green onion.

"Y/N-chan, what’s that?" he says as he points to the green onion.

“What? You don’t know the famous home remedy?”

It is actually the opposite. He knows it all too well. It’s just that, Kuroo isn’t sure if you are going to:

A) wrap it around his neck

or worse

B) stick it up in his ass

Knowing you, as the manager and his girlfriend, it would most likely be the latter. He knows he needs to butter you up to avoid the worst choice out of the two.

"You should thank Baa-chan. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't know how to make it specially for you." You hold his warm cheeks in your hands, feeling the sweat forming from his fever. Under your touch, he nuzzles against the cool touch of your touch on his face. Hurriedly, he clasps your hands as he brushes it against his lips, tenderly kissing your wrists.

“Y/N-chan,” he directs his eyes towards you, whilst pecking your wrists. “You’re so warm...”

Your cheeks dye in rose from his sudden affection, pulling away from him before anything could happen. “L-Let me apply some salonpas to you, since you’re done with the s-syrup...” 

Kuroo’s attention keeps going back and forth to you and the green onion on the tray, feeling the slight tension of his heartbeat as time passes by. You then grab the pack of salonpas as you motion for his shirt, but he quickly lays down on the bed, lifting the hem of his shirt for a quick tease as he displays his sweating abdominals. He devilishly fixes his gaze to you with the cutest cat eyes before rolling on his stomach. “Help me, Ms. Manager~”

You feel the need to slap this idiot who unbelievably is the captain of your volleyball team, but quietly sigh ‘another time’. You sigh as your hand glides up to his well-defined back, caressing every touch against his broad back. Your thumb is pressed against his feverish skin before hearing Kuroo's grunts, possibly aching in some parts. Once you've identified the places around his aching rear, you start unpacking the Salonpas.

“Oho? You even have Salonpas with you? Ms. Manager, you're always prepared,” he nonchalantly chuckles, followed by coughing fits as you work on putting on the medicinal patches.

“I'm the manager for a reason. And besides, we work best together, like blood, so if one of you gets sick,” you finish placing the last patch of Salonpas as you start massaging the patches before directing your attention towards him.

"What's the Nekoma team without one another?"

As if taken by surprise by your response, Kuroo gives off a low chuckle that makes you raise an eyebrow in confusion. "Y/N-chan, after this little thing," Kuroo tucks his arms under his pillows as he buries his face, exposing only half as he gazes directly into your eyes. A playful smirk on his lips as he teasingly exposes his neck, his muscles on his back displayed. 

"Let’s go on a date."

Undeniably, you feel the heat rising in your cheeks at his sudden remark. After a brief pause, you clear your throat, evading his statement. “Y-You…! You have the stamina to be this cheesy when you need to rest?” You tell him as you finish massaging his back. He cheekily grins as he suddenly grabs your hand and pulls you into him. He attempts to give you a playful peck on your lips, to no avail as you shove his face back to his pillow. 

“N-no need to be this aggressive, b-babe...” Pouting, he digs his face into his pillows as you notice him eyeing the green onion on your tray. Your eyes light up as your lips grin with a devilish plan in mind.

He eyes you as you retract, with your hand hovering over the tray. His pupils dilate with his heart palpitating in each second. 

Is it A or B?! Will you choke him or shove it in his ass?! 

His particular train of thought is suddenly cut short as you hold the green onion in your hand. His instincts blare up, feeling it as if they were saying ‘run’ over and over, screaming at himself.

“Alright, Tetsurou,” it is the moment of truth. His neck or virginity are at stake as he internally pleads to the gods for a miracle.

“Stick out your neck.” 

A sigh of relief escapes from his lips, just as he feels his desires fulfilled. You then look at him questioningly as you give him a double-edged smile. Much to his lack of knowledge, he gives you a grin, feeling comforted at the decision to choke him rather than deflowering his ass while trying to treat him of his sickness. He hums, closing his eyes, expecting the plant to be wrapped around his neck, only for him to feel the familiar warmth of your lips instead which makes him look down at you. He sees the familiar glint in your eyes, and the way your lips are smirking make his stomach lurch.

Oh no—

“Now you better lay down on your stomach, mister.”

The following morning, the entire Nekoma team goes to check on their captain and on you, worried since you did not reply to their messages last night. Yaku initiates by proceeding to knock on the door, only to be welcomed by the sight of an elderly woman, smiling at them as she welcomes them. “Oh good morning, boys! Tekkun and Y/N-chan are still sleeping upstairs.” She sees the knowing stares between the team as she ushers them inside.

“So this is Kuroo-san’s home...” Lev wanders in fascination as he eyes his surroundings, basking in the environment and its homey atmosphere for the first time. Inuoka seems to feel the same as he smiles, with his eyes sparkling and wandering around the humble abode. Kuroo’s grandmother returns to the kitchen while the rest keep on chattering behind.

Disregarding the banter behind him, Yaku goes on and casually opens the door to the sight of you snuggled with each other, steadily breathing as your hands unconsciously massage Kuroo’s torso, leaving trails of your warm touch on it. The other hand on his shoulder unknowingly massages them reassuringly as the both of you succumb in each other’s presence and comfort.

“Aww look how cute you are, you guys...” Yaku sighs with underlying tease (and perhaps a hint of jealousy) as he walks and checks on you and your boyfriend’s sleeping figure, only to see later, in the captain’s partial state of undress on his lower posterior, a thick stalk of green onion protruding from between his clenching buttcheeks. 

He tries to contain his laughter, failing as a full-out cackle escapes his mouth, only for the rest of the team to enter the room and see their captain’s stalked bare posterior, following suit in Yaku’s failed attempt to hold onto his laughter. Kenma, who usually wears a blank expression, is now snickering at the sight before him, much to the surprise of the rest as the setter even takes a snap of it.

A loud groan from the sleeping captain turns the entire room silent as an awake Kuroo, albeit still fuzzy and tranced, rubs one of his eyes. He unconsciously lets out a yawn before his consciousness becomes more clear, finally registering that his teammates are right in his room.

“Oh you guys! Whaddya doin’ here?” he slurs.

“Ah, the guys wanted to know how you were doing and your grandmother happily told us to come in,” Kai replies with his usual smile as he waves at the freshly awoken captain.

“So L/N-san is also here...” Lev utters as his feline eyes land on your sleeping figure, happily snoring your worries away. The entire team pauses for a while just to look and appreciate you in your seemingly deep slumber.

“Waaah, L/N-san looks so cute!”

“Cute...”

Tetsuroo enjoys the attention showered upon you, prompting him to adjust his position on the bed only for him to realize fully the state of his partial nudity on his now aching posterior. He releases a grunt which only turns all the attention in the entire room back to him. Yaku snorts at the view as Yamamoto follows suit, only louder this time. 

“O-Oi, whaddya lookin at?” Kuroo scowls at everyone.

Lev snickers at the captain’s condition, albeit with pure curiosity, “Kuroo-san, why is there a green onion stuck in your butthole?”

Kuroo looks at him with disdain while trying to hide the embarrassment from within, “E-Eh! You didn’t know? This is an a-ancient remedy for fevers!”

“That sounds like a nice remedy. I should try it sometime!” Lev naively replies as Kenma looks at him in distaste before he looks at your sleeping frame with a calm expression.

“Don’t even try to do it, Lev.”

The rest of the members, even including Fukunaga, are already laughing at the captain’s plight, only increasing in volume as it effectively wakes you up from your slumber.

“Yeah right. You really let me stick an onion up in your ass? Kinky,” you raspily groan as you rub both eyes to consciousness, only leaving the team on their stomachs even more.

Happy Valentine’s Day to him, indeed. 

click here to see where the green onion idea comes from lol

back to the valentines masterlist

[fruggin-bitch]

ask game from this link

1. chipotle order? I haven’t actually ever eaten chipoltle :/ 2. thoughts on veganism? I think vegans are really cool and come up with great alternatives for meals without meat that have the same amount of nutrients! 3. a specific color that gives you the ick? That tone of yellow-green that looks like baby vomit. Also super bright hot pink hurts my head 4. mythical creature you think/believe is real? Honestly- I’d believe that anything could be out ther in the ocean. Mermaids? Why not. So much of the ocean is undiscovered so there could be legit anything out there 5. favorite form of potato? Twice baked potatoes or McDonalds fries 6. do you use a watch? Nope, I did for a while but I hated the weight on my wrist 7. what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium? Turtles!! 8. do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home?  Not really. If im gonna change for whatever reason I’ll just throw of whatever pajamas I have clean or a big hoodie n shorts 9. do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)? Nope even though I probably should lol 10. on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice? Ive never actually been on a plane BUT I do prefer apple juice 11. anything from your childhood you’ve held on to? I have a stuffed hippo from when I was a little baby and a stuffed dinosaur that my childhood best friend gave me when we were five that I named after him 12. brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%? Uhhhhhhh idk man I just grab Walmart brand 13. first thing you’re doing in the purge? Honestly I got no clue id probably just like walk into the bakery I work at and take some of the stuff that I don’t wanna pay for that looks tasty 14. do you think you’re dehydrated? Probably I don’t drink enough water 15. rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning. uhh freezing cause I think it would be quicker and id get nerve damage, then burning for the  same reason cause id definitely get damaged nerves and would feel less I think, then drowning cause you’re completely aware of the water and pressure and augh im so scared of drowning dude 16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip? LOVE IT god I love mint stuff its so tasty 17. an anxious compulsion you do everyday? Chew on my nails and pick at my skin 18. your boba/tea order? Mango or peach tea with black boba pearls, mango jelly and cream foam 19. the veggie you dislike the most? Broccoli. Cant stand the shit 20. favorite disney princess movie? Does moana count? Otherwise I rlly like brave 21. a number that weirds you out? Hmm I don’t know, maybe three 22. do you have an emotional support water bottle? nah 23. do you wear jewelry? Yeah I have a necklace that I wear every day with a witch’s pentagram on it and a bracelet from one of those save the ocean groups 24. which do you find yourself using, american or british english?  American mostly with some British spellings thrown in there 25. would you say you have good taste in music? I mean I like my music taste but that’s really subjective 26. how’s your spice tolerance? Absolute shit dude, my tastebuds are so weak 27. what’s your favorite or go-to outfit? My favorite ripped jeans and a collared shirt with a crewneck sweater over it with converse, and for summer its jean shorts with a blue knit tank crop top and converse 28. last meal on earth? Uhh mac n cheese or pho 29. preferred pasta noodle? Mmm I really like farfalle or ziti