#it's because i'm autism and listen to music so much

[themindelectricdemo4]

just to document my pain right now: HEADACHE all over... TOOTHACHE in my left wisdom tooth... EARACHE in my left ear... VINE BOOM after VINE BOOM after VINE BOOM

[shinshoyu]

i love... music. so much. the awe i hold for artists who create sounds and melodies that sound beautiful to my ears and my soul. nothing anybody can say will ever change my mind, music is part of the human experience. it's the thing that could connect me with anybody. i don't care what language you speak, if we listen to music, i will understand you on a fundamental level.

to me, music transcends language. i don't need to understand what you're saying to appreciate and love your songs all the same. in fact, i'll probably start learning the language so i can understand it more than just the surface level sounds. every single language i have ever learned is because i want to enjoy their music. i want to hear your culture and listen to the way you love it. i want to learn about how we are different, how our cultures clash, and i want to learn how we are so so similar at the same time.

maybe i'm just extremely autistic but genuinely music is one of the only things that lets me understand the world. the way words are woven and tweaked to fit the melody, the subtle subtext and hidden meanings, the way a simple song can be so heavily associated with certain emotions and people that when i listen to them i feel those emotions. i think of those people. i am entranced by your lovely words and soft voice. or harsh voice. or gravelly voice. or beautifully bright voice.

on top of that, hearing new music will always give me joy. hearing a new song for the first time? for the first time, finding the vibe of the song, letting the music run through your body, your soul, deciding where to categorize this new symphony of sounds and words.

[windfighter]

Me: gets headache from neighbours music

Me: listens to Tango's stream to avoid it

Also me: gets headache from Tango's music instead

The calculation was correct but MAN am I bad at math

[flawless-peach]

change your life ✨️

feel free to join me in this. I'm going to try to post every day about how I did <3

- get at least 7 consecutive hours of sleep. I've found if I go to sleep and then wake up back for a couple hours and then finish the 8 hours I feel I incredibly unrested. I keep myself accountable by using pokemon sleep which has a great alarm, so I'm looking forward to trying this instead

- read or listen to an audiobook for 30 minutes. literacy is a muscle, and using it is important, but sometimes I can't just sit down and read a book, and audiobooks are great for when I'm cleaning or cooking or folding laundry

- get sun daily. humans are a lot more like plants than you would think and so it is important to get some sun, even when it's a wintery sun that's cold or when it's a blazing furnace. Since I have some mental health issues and am unable to go outside im going to at least open my curtains, and if possible, crack a window to get some fresh air

- start a hobby you can enjoy. this one can be difficult because a lot of things require some sort of financial investment. for me, my hobbies for these six months is going to be writing and annotating books. but being creative is great for the human mind.

- learn to be comfortable alone. honestly this one will be difficult. personally, I live in a studio. privacy is nothing i experience, butthe little moments where you find yourself escaping with TV playing or music pause it and sit with yourself, how else can you learn to love someone if you avoid them 🥰

- meditate daily. this will be something I struggle with so much, but I'm going to try in the mornings since that's my peak time <3 and that's when I plan on doing a yoga flow during the sunrise

- eat healthy nutritious food. I hate cooking and I hate eating. having autism can make these really difficult for me to do, but I'm really really trying. I started the week before last to work on figuring out what snack foods I can prep, and now i just need to work on planning out some meals.

- positive affirmations everyday. I really struggle to have positive self talk because it feels so awkward and uncomfortable because I've been pessimistic for so long, but I want to change that ^^

- reduce screen time. this is going to be specifically targetting mindless scrolling for me. I have a tiktok account that I use for motivation, same with my tumblr account, and I also read on my phone and use my sleep app that I need to keep open at night.

- practice gratitude. my goal is to at night reflect on the day to try and find the good. I already reflect on my days and pick a mood, but I want to create lists of things i am grateful for, especially while I'm in between jobs.

[crimeronan]

scenes all pulled from the main fic. i decided to go maximum autism and pull long relevant lyric quotes for each, so. just read it like it's poetry and go "wow, shit, that fits so well it's uncanny. no Wonder luz has ptsd like a motherfucker"

when belos and luz kill the basement grimwalker together:

blinding - florence and the machine

felt it in my fists, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids. shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs. no more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone, no more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden. no more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world

gun in my hand - dorothy

why did love put a gun in my hand? in my bed, in my head, in my hand was it for redemption or was it for revenge? was it for the bottle? was it for the ledge? was it for the thrill of pushing my hope to the edge?

under the water - the pretty reckless

excuse me, sir, am i your daughter? won't you take me back and see? [...] broken lines across my mirror show my face all red and bruised and though i screamed and i screamed, no one came running. no i wasn't saved, i wasn't safe from you

when luz pretends to be interested in making a grimwalker of amity:

[inserting a cut to save everyone's dashboards]

everybody's fool - evanescence

just what we all need, more lies about a world that never was and never will be. have you no shame? don't you see me? look, here she comes now. bow down and stare in wonder. oh how we love you, no flaws when you're pretending. but now i know she never was and never will be without the mask, where will you hide? can't find yourself, lost in your lies. i know the truth now, i know who you are, and i don't love you anymore

shot in the dark - within temptation

in the blink of an eye, i can see through your eyes. as i'm lying awake i'm still hearing the cries and it hurts, hurts me so bad and i'm wondering why i still fight in this life 'cause i've lost all my faith in this damn bitter strife and it's sad, it's so damn sad your soul is on fire, a shot in the dark - what did they aim for when they missed your heart? i breathe underwater, it's all in my hands. what can i do? don't let it fall apart

when luz dreams about killing hunter:

chasing twisters - delta rae

kiss me now, this whiskey on my breath - feel the lives that i have taken, what little soul that i have left. and oh, my God, i'll take you to the grave, the only love i've ever known, the only soul i ever saved [...] don't you know i dream about you? don't you know i dream about you?

ship to wreck - florence and the machine

oh, my love, remind me, what was it that i said? i can't help but pull the earth around me to make my bed and oh my love, remind me, what was it that i did? did i drink too much? am i losing touch? did i build this ship to wreck? [...] don't let the curtain catch you cause you've been here before. the chair is an island, darling, you can't touch the floor

the flowers - regina spektor

the flowers you gave me are rotting and still i refuse to throw them away some of the bulbs never opened quite fully, they might so i'm waiting and staying awake things i have loved i'm allowed to keep. i'll never know if i go to sleep

when luz and hunter fight about how she's hiding belos's abuse:

frozen - within temptation

i would stop running if i knew there was a chance. it tears me apart to sacrifice it all but i'm forced to let go tell me i'm frozen, but what can i do? can't tell the reasons i did it for you. when lies turn into truth, i sacrificed for you. you say that i'm frozen but what can i do? i can feel your sorrow. you won't forgive me but i know you'll be all right. it tears me apart that you will never know but i have to let go

politics of love - rise against

i hear your voice in the wind. it follows me, it cuts right through the noise as we spin on dance floors made of ice so rest your hand in mine. steady now, ignore the sound of breaking lines, the cracks beneath our feet as time runs out [...] clear signs outlined but i couldn't see what i see now i should have said something to you when i saw you walk away. instead i did nothing and now you're gone and it's too late. so we board up the windows we used to look through

when belos tries to kill hunter:

fairytale - elysion

once upon a time in a land far away where the fairytale lied, you would have it your way. i would always have wished as i stood in the mist to undo the spell i was under years went by and the story goes on, i'm here wondering why i did everything wrong, always hoping that i'd find the wisdom to fly and be no more the prey but the hunter all seems like the perfect ending, still i'm close to understanding: i still breathe while you're killing me

are you done with me - delain

this city drinks and roars, each word so meaningless. each word, especially yours, echoes inside my head can't you see i won't let you get your way, let you get the best of me? i just need to know, are you done with me? are you done with me? and if you are, won't you just let me be? [...] are you done with me, are you honestly? did you realize that i can't be all you need?

unbecoming - starset

it's automatic, it's telepathic, you always knew me. and you laugh as i search for a harbor as you point where your halo had been, but the light in your eyes has been squandered. there's no angel in you in the end. and all that i was, i left behind me eyes in the dead still water, tried but it pushed back harder. cauterized and atrophied, this is my unbecoming. knives in the backs of martyrs, lives in the burning fodder

when luz kills his ass right back:

devil's backbone - the civil wars

oh lord, oh lord, what have i done? i've fallen in love with a man on the run. oh lord, i'm begging you please, don't take that sinner from me oh lord, oh lord, what do i do? i've fallen for someone who's nothing like you. he's raised on the edge of the devil's backbone, i just wanna take him home give me the burden, give me the blame, i'll shoulder the load and i'll swallow the shame. give me the burden, give me the blame, how many hail marys is it gonna take?

the last song i'm wasting on you - evanescence

sickened in the sun, you dare tell me you love me, but you held me down and screamed you wanted me to die. honey you know i'd never hurt you that way, "you're just so pretty in your pain" give up my way and i could be anything. i'll make my own way without your senseless hate so run, run, run, and hate me if it feels good. i can't hear your screams anymore. you lied to me but i'm older now, and i'm not buying, baby!

when luz finally confesses to hunter:

close to heaven - breaking benjamin

i try to breathe, shade my eyes, follow the damned. i have lost the way again. stay, trust in life, carried beneath, dead arise. sorrow avenged - i will face the weak within so i'll stay unforgiven and i'll keep love together. and i'll be yours forever, i'll sleep close to heaven i'm coming home, i'm coming home, i'm coming home. release me, my love

heavy in your arms - florence and the machine

is it worth the wait, all this killing time? are you strong enough to stand protecting both your heart and mine? who is the betrayer, who's the killer in the crowd? my love has concrete feet, my love's an iron ball wrapped around your ankles over the waterfall. i'm so heavy, heavy in your arms. this will be my last confession - "i love you" never felt like any blessing. whisper it like it's a secret in order to condemn the one who hears it...

I was listening to your princess playlist the other day, as one does, and I was wondering if you have it in any particular chronological order? Or is it just vibes?

OOOH. the playlist isn't in any particular chronological order (i put songs on there as i thought of them), but i think i CAN roughly assign songs to specific scenes, so. i'll do that in a reblog. this seems like a good thing to use my autism powers on.

[llorando-estrella]

About me

Hi, I go by Valerie, I am 18, bisexual, yandere, and a femme dom.

My interests are reading, singing, dancing, watching shows, playing video games, and listening to music.

I have autism, BPD (borderline, not bipolar), PTSD, anxiety, and depression. You have to remember I'm also a person, not just some sex mommy you can say anything you want to.

Don't follow me if you are a minor, have a ageless bio, have porn or nudes on your account. I will block you, I am uninterested in seeing that because it's bad on my mental health and my boundaries.

My asks are open but it doesn't mean I'll reply to it, I only reply to the ones I'm comfortable with when I have time for it.

My DM's are open, but only talk through there if you are 18-23. Anyone older I won't respond to unless it's a compliment. If you have an ageless bio and try talking to me provide your age, I either won't respond or I will ask for it. Also don't be creepy or I will block you. I don’t have notifications on, so I can’t promise quick replies to anything.

I am a dom who likes being called mommy, master, and goddess (and sometimes daddy). I find sub boys absolutely adorable and I love them so much. You can always ask questions and I’ll try to answer, just don’t be a creep about it or you will be blocked. I have never tried anything with a girl so I probably won't post about that.

I already have a sub, so I’m not looking for another, but subs can still talk to me if they have questions or want to get to know me. If you ask to be my sub I will turn you down because you might have missed it in my about me, but if you keep asking to be my sub I will block you. But minors don’t interact or I’ll block you. I am not into groups and I do not share, so don't ask to be part of my relationship with my sub or ask to interact with him. He has his own account which you can interact with but he will also turn anyone down if they make advances.

[princeofstarspost]

helloo! I have a req for the to scream or be silent. (I'm really sorry if u are already full of requests)

could you do Xiao and Scara/Wanderer (up to u!)?

I think it would be quite interesting to see what they'd do in this scenario

Thank you sm!

𓍊𓋼~To scream or be silent PT 3~𓋼𓍊

Type: Headcannons

Description: HELLOOO!! Dw, you're currently my only request so I'm happy to have you! Hope you don't mind I added Venti and I hope you like dis~ So for anyone who doesn't know, this is a series where genshin characters react to a reader who will go completely mute or talk 3,000 miles a minute. Mostly a comfort type of fic!

Part 1, Part 2

Rating: Comforting fluff

Reader: GN, Slight autism/adhd vibes

Includes: Wanderer/ Xiao/ and Venti

Wanderer:

To scream:

He can get a little overwhelmed when you're in a hyper state, maybe even a little annoyed, but he's trying his best to be better about it. It's not that you are actually what's bugging him, he's just not used to so much talking, he doesn't know how to react when you want to tell him every detail about a book you just read or a show you just finished. To him this is whole new territory that he's not really comforting with yet.

However, when he does find a way to sit and listen to you patiently and you give him that smile of finally being heard...he finds it very very cute. He'd never say it aloud though...

To be silent:

He's the king of the silent game, the second you no longer want to talk, he no longer wants to either. He may look grumpy while he sits across from you or lays in bed staring aimlessly at the ceiling, but this is the time you both use to unwind. He loves those moments with you because it calms him, calms both of you and it's easy. If you're hyper fixating, he's not far away, destressing about social interactions and classes at the academia. If you need a break from speaking cause you just can't anymore, he's feeling the same...and ever so often he lets you closer to him to cuddle, but it's so sappy to him that it only ever rarely happens. When it does though, it's very enjoyable.

Xiao:

To scream:

He's always happy to hear your voice, to hear that excited fast tone you get when you're talking about something you're currently obsessed with. For so long he'd gone without much conversation that now he craves it from you, to the point that he'd sit on the roof with you all night while you went on and on about everything. Till you eventually fall asleep on him that is, then he'd carry you to bed and hope you'd find him the next day to do it all over again.

To be silent:

He understands everyone needs a break from socialising sometimes, but he struggles with how big of a break you want. It's difficult for him when you're hyperfixated and he wants to know wether or not you want him nearby, he can't exactly ask because he doesn't want to disturb you. When you go mute just so you don't have to talk, he finds himself feeling awkward cause he's not sure if you want to be alone or not.

More often then not he's very gentle with his voice and movements, tiptoeing around you because he knows better then anyone that alone time is alone time. If you do initiate a cuddle when you're in a silent phase, he will gladly accept and pet your head to comfort you.

As a god he's met all different types of people and has came up with many a ways to make them feel cared for. You are no exception. The second you start telling him about about a song you've just heard that you're in love with, he will learn it just for you. Say you are obsessing over a new item you've just bought, he wants to know all about it. He gets just as happy as you, if not happier because he loves how bright your smile is.

Venti:

To scream:

To be silent:

Just as before, when someone's silent around him, he understands completely. He will get out his quietest instruments and provide gentle background music, improving on his lyrics or coming up with new tunes to play later, all while you're hyperfixated on something or another. He will sing you songs when you don't want to talk so you won't ever feel awkward about lack of noise. And when you truly want pure silence, he sits by you and holds your hand, letting the quiet settle in.

Felt a little extra sappy with this one hehe. Also 20 followers now!! Woohoo!!

[stump-not-found]

A03 wrapped 2024

tagged by @tempusedax-rerum >:DDDDD

1.) Biggest surprise while writing this year?

how much people responded to bill cipher saying daddy . how people have interpreted ford's relationship to mabel in theseus' guide; i've really tried to write him as really caring for her so seeing that interpreted as him disliking her is so interesting haha

most of all tho i'm just surprised and very grateful that theseus has received any attention, it's been so so wonderful reading everyone's thoughts and seeing them engage with the fic . it really makes the entire process so gratifying, and i hope folks continue to enjoy where the story goes next :D

2.) How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

i've got my erotic billford rom com Can of Snakes that's over 20k right now . it has banger titles such as "sad handjob" and "penicular sounding", so someday i'll be posting that . i think they can make it work

i also just started Weirdmageddon 2: Electric Boogaloo: Lost In New York, an AU where ford gets stan to help him finish the portal after kicking fidd's to the curb . stan and bill become besties, ford hates it, and bill isn't allowed to destroy new york until he tries a slice of 'za .

this is not accounting for the mountain of comic WIP's i have but that shit aint goin on ao3

3.) Favourite character to write this year?

ford for sure . you give me a character who's autistic in a way that isn't cute and it just means the world to me . i get to give him evil autism . the autism where we acknowledge growing up autistic is traumatizing and makes you not a nice person all the time . fuck i love him . i get to dump so much of my own shit on him its so funnnnnnn yay lalalala

there was a whole paragraph i wrote that was just describing the perfect eye angle to maintain when walking through a farmers market to avoid social scenario's, which i had to remove because it was just me rambling about my own social survival strategies . farmers markets are dangerous places

i also love writing him in the context of bill . what a fucking mess they are i hope they never get better . but together <3

4.) The character that gave you the most trouble this year?

honestly stanley pines . i feel like i soften him too much, and lean in to his more positive traits than his more negative ones . it's hard because i feel like folks don't talk about the fact he was homeless for like 10 years & also had a breaking bad style adventure in columbia

the other problem is that he IS a big softy so idk . but he should be bitchier god damn it . he should be talking about his cataracts

6.) Did you receive any gifts this year?

I DID YOU INSANE PEOPLE thank you all it make a me smile:

@stemmmm @ancharan @kronehaze @sillyhyperfixator @ezrathean0n

7.) Did you do any collaborative works this year?

i feel like all my writing is collaborative!! i spend hours talking fic stuff with my wife & brother and my stuff is all the better for it . would love to do more of that w/ other folks i love it talking and thinking and playing is so fun

8.) What do you listen to while writing?

i don't like listening to music when i write lol ...... i sit in the cold silence and type in a frantic spiral .

i listen to a lotta different things while i think of things to write tho . atm all i want in the world is to make a theseus animation to this song it's very hammercore :

9.) Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

oogh that's hard to choose . i'm just gonna share a bunch that make me laugh

from theseus' guide step six:

Dipper, clearly, doesn’t get it, and Ford acknowledges he is too young to understand a professional working relationship.

also from step six:

“Oh, sure, I can move on,” Stan grins, “To the other items on my list. A, the shack’s toilets all suck, and the seats keep raisin’ automatically. B, your handwriting sucks. C–”

from theseus' guide step three:

“You think you’re coming back anytime soon?” “No, 8-Ball, I don’t think I’m ‘ coming back ’ anytime soon.” Ford snides, though 8-Ball either doesn’t register that, or doesn’t care; hard to tell with the guy, “I’m sure you’re aware, but your boss wants to kill my family. And destroy my universe. ” 8-Ball sniffs. “Cool. Mind if I eat your leftovers then? Teeth keeps eyeing them.” Ford frowns, “You couldn’t have just brought them with you?” “Nah, man, I want to eat them.”

lots of lines from step eight but we ain't there yet

uuuuhhghhg who to send this chain mail along to uuuhgghgh

@beccadrawsstuff if u wannaaaa . anyone else feel free to pick this up as well i'm bad at this lol

[mcytblrconfessions]

I'm eternally grateful to the life series fandom for introducing me to the crane wives band. They're my favourite music artist by far and have been a special interest of mine pretty much since I started listening. However. I don't think a single person in the life series fandom has an ounce of lyric literacy because why are you people assigning songs to characters that blatantly dont fit, then claiming its "literally written for them". Just no?? For example, "Pretty Little Things" is about a woman lamenting over her past physically and mentally abusive loves and how they have ruined her ability to love again and the trauma she bears from them (simplified). That is not desertduo? That is not flower husbands? That is not any popular yaoi ship? What song did you people listen to for you to think that fits them? this is a really small and petty thing to get annoyed over but my life series and tcw hyperfixations are completely separate and my autism is so utterly infuriated by people being wrong about my Thing.

[vampiricnature]

Hey guys

FOP hcs under the cut

Dev Dimmadome

-has manic BPD

-curly hair (inherited from Dale)

-extremely closed off, emotionally really sensitive but is just really good at masking

-sleeps in the corner of his bed even if it's absolutely humongous

-likes futurama unironically

-favorite mlp character is sunset shimmer because she's "like, I dunno, whatever" (pretty and rebellious)

Hazel Wells

-favorite mlp character is Applejack because she's cool and strong, plus her accent

-high functioning autism!

-will debate people on whether or not ice cream is a food (it is and she always wins)

-usually when having episodes, her brother always helps her calm down, so when Dev has manic episodes she knows how to help him

Cosmo

-Bed hog

-loves slugs for no reason

-gifts Wanda moss and leaves (she loves it)

-very bisexual tbh, also uses she/her on occasion because he does drag 💪

Wanda

-genuinely enjoys Stephen King books, her favorite is Misery

-watches commentary videos about things she knows nothing about

-keeps every little trinket given to her by everyone (one time, hazel gaze her a rock with one big googly eye and Wanda put it on a shelf, and when hazel came over and saw it she started crying because Wanda displayed it)

Dale

-gay

-gay

-gay

Peri

-due to his love of fashion and his passion for helping kids, he's looked into symbols of support (he paints one of his pinkies red to show his support against csa)

-autistic because I'm him and I said so

-clicks his tongue against his teeth as his main stim (it usually hurts the tip of his tongue but he can't stop)

-scared of peacocks even though they're absolutely gorgeous to him. He just hates how they look at him

-loves fashion from all eras, but usually wears 70s/80s style clothing, with the occasional greaser look from the 50s

Jasmine Tran

-likes Katy Perry more than Taylor Swift

-had a weeb phase where she dressed in only anime merch for three months straight

-her favorite mlp character is Rarity because she's slay

-doesn't actually like musicals unless it's Disney or other animated movies, especially if the genre is pop or jukebox (like Trolls or strange magic)

Winn Harper

-avid Justin Bieber and Eminem fan

-tried roller skating but they don't have very good coordination like that, so skateboarding is much easier for them

-loves the "cool s" symbol

-says based about everything they like

-favorite mlp character is obviously rainbow dash because she's based

Anthony Wells

-ADD+OCD

-theatre lover, the kinda guy to like parody musicals (also watched scamilton and sobbed so hard because of how funnily atrocious it is)

-prefers red over blue Gatorade

-genuinely just a really good guy to everyone, naturally sweet

Irep

-Rivers is a vampire. Look it up

-uses gen alpha slang but also outdated trends like dabbing and flossing

-listens to ABBA on a daily basis, literally every night he plays gimme gimme gimme (a man after midnight) and in the morning it's Dancing queen

-only wears platforms because it makes him taller by like. An inch or two

-telle people to commit suicide on the internet for shits and giggles

-genuinely glad Peri changed his name because Foop embarrassed him and ruined his intimidating image

[2demondogs]

Hello, I'm the anon who asked if you write autism and now that i know you do, I'd love it if you could do an gender neutral autistic reader/Javier?

I love music, and I don't think I could live without it. it really helps prevent meltdowns and calms me down when things get too overwhelming. I often hear and love listening to Javier play his music in camp. it's so relaxing and serene sometimes. My favorite is Ángel De Amor :)

I don't really have a specific way for this request to go besides including Javier's music into it. So I'd say you have complete creative freedom! Thank you so much for answering my question, by the way. I love your writing :))

Of course! I am a simple man tbh Javier picks up the guitar in game and I sit Arthur's ass the fuck down. Also thank you <3

I kind of went from the comfort aspect. Sorry this took a second (I also have another like. week old request too) fatigue is kicking my ass this week.

Words: 1.9k Tags: fluff, Javier is madly in love with u, reader has sensory issues, established relationship

You wish you could know true silence.

Javier had looked at you perplexed when you asked if the wind ever bothered him, insisting you meant the sound and not that it messed with hair or clothes or bullets. Lucky him, only hear it during storms.

He had taken your mind off of the racing of your heart by clapping his hands over your ears and grinning. "Better?" He'd asked, and you'd felt his voice reverberating enough to offset the overwhelming roar of blood through his hot palms.

What a fool, you thought and still think, but laying on your bedroll has left you with no sleep and a deep desire for his hands on your face, or how he lays on you in the privacy of trips away from camp. The ground is hard, too hard; you feel cold in a way that's deeper than temperature, as if loneliness could be icelike and sting all over, especially through your empty arms; and it's so quiet that your ears are ringing, searching for noise and focusing only on your own heart thudding — the sound gives you anxiety, for some unknowable reason — and the snores of the camp.

Oh, the snores.

You start to get angry, but you blame it on those, usually. Although Javier snores, and that's never bothered you. Because it's you, you've told him for romance's sake but, really, it's hard to know what's irritating you when everything feels raw and cold and burning all at once.

Before your patience can snap, the pressure of it already building in your throat, you sit up and let your eyes re-adjust to the darkness of the night. You had hardly realized how the darkness behind your lids was growing on your bad side, too.

The campfire is still going nearby, and you see Javier sitting with his back against one of the logs, guitar laid over his lap and a knife in hand. He's doing something to it. Arthur's tent flaps are drawn and the light of a lantern fights against the fire for shadows, the dark outline of a large hand passing over the light now and then; as you walk past, you think maybe Hosea is sitting beside the tent post that covers him, Bill, and Lenny.

Besides the four of you, it's eerily dead. Not an unusual occurrence, really, because it seems these three's insomnias are all interlinked and your own tends to join in on their frequency, too— but eerie all the same.

The choice is clear enough of who to join. Only Javier is surrounded by empty space, though you've learned that doesn't necessarily mean he'll be as friendly with others as he is with you. Romantic privileges, or something like that. You believe he's just sour inside and trying to stuff you into the open sore like cotton.

With only the company of your feet shuffling over dirt, Javier's voice seems gunshot loud.

"What're you up for?" He asks, disinterested before he looks up from his guitar's neck. One string is missing out of six, a new gutstring pinched in his fingers as he twists it where travel had unraveled it in storage. Frayed ends stick from the tuning pegs, tied but not trimmed. His eyes soften when he sees it's you, but he leaves the greeting as it is.

"Can't sleep," you say, and take a seat at a polite distance on the same log.

Javier never complains of your proximity and you feel the urge for it now, that prickly sensation of emptiness along your arms and torso, but something stops you from taking indulgence into your own hands. You're happy that he scoots over some, shrugging and waving the small knife in his hand as he speaks. Glinting in the fire, the blade one of the newer silver ones he picked up during a disastorous Van Horn trip.

"I would'a never guessed," he says. Even though his hair is untied — it seems that he couldn't sleep either, because it is tangled in the back — you know he's smiling.

Past his head, as he leans away, you watch him cut the excess from the last string and tie a firm knot around the tuning peg. The easy way he works his skills always quiets your nerves, the same way it does to watch Javier handle his guitar in general.

When you feel unable to handle anything, it's comforting to know there's someone who knows how to handle something. Someone you've got a claim to, whose skills you take a secondary pride in — look at my man, doesn't he know his way around...? — but that's entirely affection speaking.

"What's on your mind, cielo?" He asks, leans his head back on the log beside your hip and looks up at you.

The shadows draw strangely over his features at this angle. His features have filled out nicely since Dutch dragged him in. Nevermind that they were fuller, still, before Blackwater, or that his undereyes look darker than they have in months. He's handsome, and his eyes flutter shut when you draw your nails gently over the hair sprouting from his temple.

Before, he's laughed when you've spoken honestly, but it has never been at your expense. Javier has some humor about him when you are alone — which is the only place you will confide in him, whether it's fear of your dignity or fear for the life of anyone who side-eyes Javier's sweetheart — and at times, you think maybe he's laughing the way men laugh when they see the sun for the first time in years. There is no judgement behind the way he smiles, showing his gums because the curl of his upper lip grows almost timid.

It is sickening, how in love Javier is.

He makes you feel like you are, for the first time in your life, entirely without flaw. You know that's impossible, that no one is, but feelings never do bow to inferior facts.

You realize you've gotten lost in your thoughts when Javier's lips brush your knuckles, having plucked your hand from his hair and taken it in his own, the fingers curled over the wall of his. He says your name. It sounds good in his rasp.

"S'rry," you say, blink once or twice to remember what he had even asked. What's on your mind? Why are you awake? "It's too quiet 'round here. It's botherin' me."

He nods. "Never sounds right when the woods are quiet," he agrees, and you realize he's misunderstood.

"No, it's very loud," you correct.

Javier squints at you, that familiar humor nudging his eyes. "What do you mean?"

You were going to divulge the depth of it, but now you find yourself focused on explaining this part to him. The entire world was beginning to piss you off, anyways, so finding comfort for one thing must be easier.

"The— well, the silence is too loud. It's buggin' me."

He raises a brow. "Silence is literally too loud?"

"Yes," you say, wondering why he's asking. It sounds odd put that way, sure, but it still makes perfect sense to you. Then he smiles faintly, those eyes soften— and it's apparent that this is another one of those things only you experience. "I could hear my blood running while I was layin' down. Hated it. D'you ever hear yours?"

"Only when it's really pumpin'," he says, and you stop trying to find something he'll relate to.

It doesn't leave you quite so empty-feeling as it has in the past that Javier doesn't have the same issues. None of it matters, because he does not care how foreign some of your complaints are: he will solve them, somehow.

No, Dutch's gramophone never makes his teeth itch, but he'll keep you company outside camp until the old man shuts it off or your mind is calm enough to stomach another opera. No, his clothes never feel abrasive, but he'll let you wear his instead, will look proud that they do not bother you as if he wove the fabric himself. The latter had been one of his first unspoken I love yous. It was his favorite vest.

And now, he's asking: "D'you wanna hear a song instead?"

Your brows knit. "Won't it wake everyone up?"

"No, cariño," Javier says, nods to the ground beside him. "You come closer 'n' I'll play quiet. Jus' for you."

You let yourself smile. "Alright," you say, swallow the warmth you feel at his offer and how relieved you are to have it spoken.

He's played his guitar for you before, many times. You've asked it for some of them, under the guise of not remembering words to his songs — he never questioned this reason, although he knows you can't speak Spanish and likely knew there was something much gentler behind it — or boredom.

Only once has it been for the same reason he plays now: to comfort you. The woods had been too quiet, and you'd been bleeding.

Javier asks for a song, and wrinkles his nose playfully when you say Ángel de Amor. "That's a sad one," he says. "Don't you want something happy?"

"They're all sad," you say. You'd be surprised if Javier knew a love song that was not about heartbreak or being eaten alive by it. "Aren't the best ones always sad?"

He huffs a laugh. "So, are they all the best?"

"Yessir."

He grins, and it malforms the usual sorrow he sings the first verse with, until he gets a handle on his face.

That his songs are all sad is true enough. There's not much joy to be sung about in the outlaw life, just as there's always that one-two, disjointed beginning to it when the guitar is picked up and played. Finding the rhythm, you suppose, or just remembering the feeling of the strings before going into a song that is as second-nature as pouring coffee or lighting a cigarette.

Simple, a three chord progression and those familiar, short lyrics— at least, they sound short, because he rolls the words off his tongue fast and smooth enough to be one, long breath. You don't realize until you are relaxing against the log, your side pressed to his, just how lonely and exhausted you have been all day.

Not lonely any longer, at least, with his warmth bleeding into your skin and the vibration of the guitar wondering across your own leg as he strums. It soothes the buzzing feeling in your veins, the one that lingers when your nerves start to tighten and bunch under the face of whatever sourness found you this evening.

Javier smells good, too, and you realize how distasteful the air had seemed without something thicker, more potent in it. He'd been wearing one of your favorite colognes today, and its afterimage is on his neck when your weary head falls onto his shoulder. Javier does not tell you to move back, although it must make strumming difficult. He adjusts so that he isn't jostling you and shortens the motion of his wrist, which he will complain tomorrow is sore with a smile.

Another habit, which makes you feel somewhat guilty, is that you will never smell him wear a scent again if you get a chance to smell it and do not tell him you like it. Although, through the guilt, there's something in you that feels very special.

After a lifetime of feeling other, here is a man who will do anything to be accepted by you.

Sickening, so very.

You turn your nose to smell the remnants of the cologne on his shirt. You think you recognize El Borrachito before he starts singing, but consciousness leaves you thereafter. In the morning, you'll wake up to find yourself slumped over his shoulder blades and Javier, over his guitar.

[orange-ghost]

My hottest take on disability media is that this film (as much as it deserved a good 90% of it's backlash; my GOD it was ableist, harmful, horribly written, horribly paced, and clearly not well thought-out) ...would NOT have been as poorly received had the titular character had low-support needs as opposed to high.

I'm serious. I saw that some of y'all's knee-jerk reactions were "AUTISTIC PEOPLE DON'T ACT LIKE THAT!" and "BUT I'M NOT LIKE THAT!" and... I mean? Yeah? She's one girl, she obviously can't represent the whole spectrum.

But I'm sick of this lateral ableism, "I'm-not-like-other-girls"-esque attitude some of us Autistics have towards the others. We learn to look down upon those who can't take care of themselves or get by in the world like we can; the ones who can't mask; the ones who are sometimes dealt the most abuse in life because they'll never have the privilege of being able to verbally speak up against it or live without a caretaker. Because what often happens is:

Autistic people who need a lot more support than we do wind up becoming allistics' Default Setting™️ idea of Autism.

Autistic people who are very different (usually more independent, sharper intellect and maybe inclined towards more mature[?] interests) then come into those allistic people's lives.

The allistics then begin to infantalize them the same way they infantalize the Default Setting™️ Autistic people around them, then refuse to listen when asked/begged to stop; denial of autonomy.

Instead of directing the VERY warranted disgust, anger and resentment towards the ableist allistic people doing this to us, we direct it towards the initial victims of this treatment; who, frankly, ALSO don't deserve to be treated like literal babies or burdens like that in the first place!

Instead of trying to find solidarity? In-fighting ensues.

I don't know, that's always irked me and it's been in my brain for like four years. Because think about how much we learned in a short period of time around the movie's release. The woman...

Forced a 14-year-old Allistic child to imitate a disabled person when she didn't want to;

TAUGHT her to do so via forcing her to watch meltdown videos filmed & posted by Autistic kids' parents (likely without the child's consent);

Dissed Autistic actresses online for no fucking reason, really.

Named a movie after a disabled child character who's treated more like a prop and isn't even centered in the film's story (and lowkey repeated the pattern twice, if you guys remember Felix's storyline. He was just shoved into this for like... sadness points?)

Teams up with the "most popular" Autism organization even though it has been VERY accessible and public knowledge for years that they've earned a pretty negative reputation for themselves.

Portrays unnecessary prone restraint as a GOOD thing.

...And has MULTIPLE instances of questionably racist undertones. Including within the first 5 seconds of the film.

And yet, some of y'all's priority was the fact that "I'm not like that! I'm FUNCTIONAL!"

...Yeah. Yikes.

Something tells me that Music would've gotten significantly less backlash had Maddie been made to portray somebody who could consistently speak verbally, stimmed in more subtle ways, and didn't have so many meltdowns.

We feel so much shame & discomfort at just sharing a diagnosis with somebody more disabled than ourselves that we will reject it (and them) the moment it happens, without a second thought. Because the thought of being treated by abled society as even more disabled than we are already terrifies us. Because we KNOW that disabled people as a whole are not treated well.

Hell, clearly Sia internalized something like that as well because she wound up being diagnosed as Autistic herself, and she WROTE the damn thing!

Yeah, I've... got a couple of words for all this. 😬

Assimilation. Trauma. Internalized ableism, even. Let's unpack that in 2025, please!

[brookshusband]

----INTRODUCTION POST----

hii ^^!! My name is Krossy! I'm a Transmasc selfshipper and this blog is dedicated to one of my f/os, more specifically Brook from One Piece.

My pronouns are he/they

Though I am 16 (now soon to be 17) I first started liking brook when I was around 8 years old while peeping in on what my dad was watching I saw brook during whole cake island and was instantly obsessed, for the next week or so I BEGGED my father to let me watch "the show with the cool skeleton" (as I had put it) until he finally caved and the rest is history!

Sharing is ALWAYS welcome on this blog and I encourage anyone who likes brook to any degree selfshipper or not to interact because yip yapping about this skeleton man brings me SOOOOOO much joy!!

However, if you're here to whine about how you think brook is straight and therefore I can't like the fictional skeleton you can leave. Because I really REALLY don't care.

NOTE: I am on a god AWFUL Nokia phone that NEVER listens to me and has a tendency to send comments or messages before I finish typing so if you get an unfinished comment or message notification from me I am SO SORRY 😭😭

------------------------------

More about me:

I don't feel quite comfortable enough to post any of my work yet but I am an art student!!

I'm a rookie vocaloid producer (I do other kinds of music too but I'm not as skilled in those so I have a lot to practise)

I'm diagnosed ADHD + Autism (& a few other things I'd rather keep private)

I'll add more to this section and introduction post as a whole with time but for now this is it

My main blog is @thewirtfulartist

[star-the-gremlin]

Some info about the MiracuClass in my au to get me back into the miraculous headspace. It's not much but it's something at least.

Chloe - Red Velvet (ladybug) Red

Pansexual (in denial)

she/her cis

unhealthy favoritism towards her mom

needs to wear glasses but refuses to do so (glares a lot)

spaces out a lot

very low self esteem

Sabrina - Léopard Forcé (cat) Léo

Lesbian (in the closet because homophobic dad)

she/they cis

atheist

anxiety

gender dysphoria

video game addict

fidgets a lot

cheese addict

Adrien - Renard Libre (fox) Renard

bisexual

he/him cis for now

paranoia

model diet malnutrition (best I can describe it)

gender dysphoria

NOT a sentimonster

Marinette - Goldenrod (bee) Goldie

bisexual

she/her cis

adhd

overthinker

AWKWARD

panic disorder

savior complex

Alya - Terrapin (turtle)

bisexual (leaning towards men)

she/her cis

absolutely no awareness of personal danger if it means she gets a good story

nosy af

middle child syndrome

Nino - DJ Cheval (horse) DJ

whoever can match his freak is fair game

he/they cis

obsessed with music

little too naive and childish for his own good

some flavor of neurodivergent

Alix - Roloway (monkey)

aroace

any

history smart but hides it well

spray paint is her passion

"I'm fast as fuck boi" ah energy

dyes and cuts their hair themself

Max - Kalameet yes from Dark Souls, he's a nerd (dragon)

gay ace

he/him cis

atheist

video game addict

unhealthily competitive

gamer rage is definitely there but he keeps it professional if its a multiplayer game

Juleka - Lièvre Blanche (rabbit) Liévre

Lesbian

she/her trans

selective mutism

social anxiety

insomnia

vitamin d deficiency

Rose - Mademoiselle Serpent (snake) Serpent

pansexual

she/her cis

vertigo

adhd

hypefixates on everything

afraid of clowns/mimes etc.

Kagami - Byakko (tiger)

bisexual

she/her cis

NOT a sentimonster

no idea how to talk to people because of isolation

always tired from constant training

her eye bags have eye bags

Luka - Basque Lavande (pig) Basque

aroace

they/them

autism

probably smokes weed

mostly communicates through music

Zoe - Rat King (mouse) King

bisexual (Leaning towards women)

any (prefers masculine)

cares a little too much about what other people think of them to the point it leads her to lying

sort of a jack of all traits

clingy

blue-yellow colorblind

trying very hard to get on Chloe's good side

Ivan - Ram Slam (goat)

straight

he/him cis

anger issues

beneath all the muscle hes a sweetheart just don't piss him off

metal enjoyer

Mylene - Shorthorn (ox)

straight

she/her cis

panic disorder

anxiety

listens to white noise to calm down

likes acting but hates people watching her act

Marc - King Shepherd (dog) Shepherd

gay

he/they/it

autism

social anxiety

selectively mute

conveys his feeling through writing

Kim - Taolon from tao and talon (rooster)

bisexual (leaning towards women)

he/him cis

absolute dumbass

adhd

extremely competitive

spoiled by his parent ("Our boy can do no wrong" type of shit)

too confident for his own good

Nathaniel - no miraculous

bisexual ace

he/him trans

jewish

introverted

not really a team player

daydreams a lot (mostly about his own comic series)

Lila - no miraculous

bisexual

she/her trans

pathological liar

impostor syndrome

gives up immediately if things don't go her way

very good actress (stolen by the theater club)

attention seeker

please someone tell her moms to stop neglecting her she is not okay

[rydoesartandstuff]

Sorry I'm asking so much lore stuff, but I love picking your brain (Let me know if you want to slow down or anything) My next question is, are Brandi and Bruce's kids genetically theirs or adopted? The reason I ask is because of all the stuff they could inherit from Bruce's side of the family. Can they sing great? Would they have drug like qualities that a Troll seems to have? Not to mention stuff that just effects Bruce's family rather than all trolls. Like Clay's seemingly hinted at, high functioning autism could have jumped a generation from their parents, over Bruce and to his kids. Or John's dyslexia. Or John's Schizophrenia. Then there's also the Genetic Trauma (epigenetics) from generations of Trolls living in the Troll tree during Bergen occupation.

Oooo I like this one! (Imma write this how I see it in the “Great Decisions” lore!)

I like to headcanon that yes, they are genetically theirs, just because in the movie, they have Bruce’s ears, and trademark front swoops of his hair! I also like to think they have tails as well, and are a bit shorter than normal Vacaytioners.

More into troll lore, I think Bruce’s kids were born from eggs. Also, Bruce carried ALL their eggs, that’s why he’s got such big hair! Troll eggs are born from love, and well, Bruce has A LOT of love for Brandy, and for his kids. Brandy helped take over once the eggs detached, and were a bit too big for Bruce to carry.

Fun fact, all his kids are musically inclined! Just not always in singing. Some of them are just really good at playing instruments, or even writing music! They perform in the restaurant sometimes, which gives Bruce… Mixed feelings. But he’s always very supportive.

And another fun fact, Brandy is as tone deaf as they come. Remember that scene from Rio, with the toucan couple? That’s Bruce and Brandy. He absolutely loves her voice; it always sounded beautiful to him!

The genetics kind of stop there. I like to think at least one of Bruce’s kids has dyslexia, but other than that, they “dodged a genetic bullet” per se. No “troll drug” capabilities, no early warning signs of schizophrenia. What they did inherit was Brandy’s need to babble about anything and everything. Lucky for them, Bruce is more than happy to listen!

Ahhhhh I love this family! And you’re good with the questions! It just takes me a while to answer sometimes😅

One more fun fact I leave you with… In the BroZone family, Pine carried JD, Spruce, and Branch as eggs. Sunny carried Clay and Floyd! Idk, it doesn’t really matter plot wise, but that’s just how I see it in my brain!

(Also, any time I say “fun fact”, please read is in Tug Duluth’s voice from the Trolls tv show, it just makes everything better😂)

[phightingheadcanons]

i compiled a bunch of subspace and medkit headcanons because they plague me. they plague me. they anyways . uhjjmmm subspace headcanons r. im not gonna lie i got some of these from deadplate. but. THERES!! a lot of these. be prepared 1. I don't think he can eat properly. Not only because of the rot, but because not being able to taste things irks him, so he has to make a smoothie out of it 2. I thuuink i think he already. was struggling with an ED before the disaster. and not being able to taste/the rot makes it. way worse 3. I think! I think he has bipolar and audhd. 4. He keeps his hair short on the side of the rot so it doesn't irritate it 5. hes. extremely touchy. not to be affectionate. he's just always in peoples personal space 6. Often chews on his fingernails and/or picks at his skin. bad habit of his methinks 7. i think he listens to like. metal. specifically freak on a leash and rotting in vain by korn really reminds me of him 8. scarring and burns. like. everywhere. coupled with the rot obviously. i think in his line of work he gets injuries pretty easily even when trying to be careful 9. EXTREMELY tone deaf. but also sometimes ignores social cues on purpose because he knows it annoys people 10. hates the rain. he hates the sound of it. he hates the water. it ruins his day. heres medkits ... 1. Also can't eat very well but its mostly from. after the disaster. he completely lost his appetite and also lost a lot of weight just because it was. really hard for him to find the energy to even get up let alone eat 2. generally kind of. not able to take care of himself very well. even if he can take care of others 3. extremely depressed. like. really bad seasonal depression + chronic (it gets worse when he sees snow though. reminds him of blackrock) 4. during his blackrock days he would straighten his hair. he can't afford to do that now though because its too expensive + too much energy 5. god AWFUL doctors handwriting. scythe hates it. nobody can fucking read it except for medkit 6. He has generalized anxiety, depression, and PTSD, as well as autism 7. hates being touched except for in very specific situations. he also hates being close (physically) to people 8. adding onto the last one, he HATES when people touch his back or his shoulders. IMMEDIATE fight or flight response 9. extremely bad posture. shrimp posture. im telling u 10. painted his horns teal because they were originally green. he doesn't like the color green very much. nor does he like that pinkish-red color (reminds him of subspace) 11. (somewhat canon? not the indie part) usually likes classical music. sometimes dabbles in indie music. he's not into the loud shit 12. violin and piano player .... 13. tried to sand down his fangs at one point. why? i dont know! 14. his sarcasm is crazy. if he's not being sarcastic its not him 15. loves the rain. he likes the quiet and being alone but when it's deathly silent it spikes his anxiety. so the background noise is nice. it also means he has an excuse to stay inside AND!! combined headcanons. things i have that i hc for. both of them 1. both of them have hand tremors. subspace's are a little worse though 2. even though they both have separated (and medkit really tries to stay away) they both still have habits that they got used to from being around the other. medkit still makes extra of things by accident because subspace would always steal it. subspace still keeps a blanket in the lab because medkit would always fall asleep at the desk. i could keep going on im so serious. they are so horribly intertwined in the worst way possible and even if they hate each other that red string is still there. its still there. do u get it. in this essay i will- anyways! thats it for today. sorry guys i needed to YAP

"Looking. Respectfully. Peak as always. This fits them so well that I can't even explain. I would yap more, but I'm tired, and my shoulder hurts from a shot I had recently, so another time TwT"