#it's basically just to demonstrate that i know the genre

[shinycoating]

applying to be the new host of my (by my i mean i work for them) radio station's metal show. would anyone like to give feedback on my 4 hour long playlist

[communistkenobi]

I was looking for a book recently on an online storefront and was recommended a book written by a physicist about the history of humanity. this was a popular press book that was not intended to be read by other academics, but it reminded me of this niche genre of books, with experts from the physical sciences writing about human behaviour or history or what have you. Could you imagine coming across the inverse? A popular press book that purported to explain physics written by a historian?

There is some deep imbalance in how public perceptions of “general intelligence” seem to work - those in STEM are generally recognised for their competence, expertise, and intellectual acumen, and this recognition can be generalised, that at some level a demonstration of your expertise of eg astrophysics is a demonstration of your abilities of investigation writ large, that you have figured out some central underlying element of science that allows for basically limitless intellectual extension to any field or subject. A physicist can write a book about human history and be taken seriously by the general public on the assumption that physics is more difficult to understand than history, so any lower domain of investigation is open to them. The reverse is often not extended to a lot of the social sciences, particularly the theoretically-heavy social sciences; theory is just making bullshit up at the end of the day, it has no real practical application because any questions about the philosophy of thought or knowledge - how did we come to know what we know and under what conditions do we know these things - is just the indulgent wankery of people who can’t find a real job.

And of course it would be silly to insist that because you have read Hegel, an infamously difficult thinker, you know how to interpret the lab print-outs of electrochemists - I don’t want this goofy concept of general intelligence to be applied everywhere, I want it to go away entirely, but its current uneven applications across scientific fields indicates a broader problem with public conceptions of expertise and knowledge.

This probably has something to do with anti-communism on some level - social science is not generally regarded as “real science” (in no small part because social science is often the field of bureaucrats, and while animosity towards bureaucrats is deeply sympathetic, I suspect the reasons for this animosity are not themselves scientifically grounded), that while there is a public understanding of “objective facts” that exist prior and external to human interpretation, the politics of knowledge are hegemonically oriented around liberalism, to such an extent that any critique of the assumptions of knowledge are viewed as a dogmatic denial of reality done for the purposes of political infiltration and brainwashing. And I don’t feel totally unqualified to say this, given that this is basically the de facto response from students encountering Marxism for the first time in university. “Marx is too dogmatic” may as well be inscribed above the doors to lecture halls. Hell, Jordan Peterson made a nice little public career for himself railing against “post-modern neo-Marxism,” a phrase so nonsensical that the fact he was not immediately and permanently laughed out of the public arena for saying it is an indictment of how politically illiterate we are as a society!

And the infuriating thing is that a lot of social science scholarship (not just from the US but especially from the US) is complete horseshit, just pure evil garbage motivated solely by a desire to justify the fact that we do really need to keep killing tens of thousands of people a year to keep this whole party going. Every sociologist who calls themselves a “methodological individualist” is contributing to the long-standing tradition of eugenics scholarship but is too craven and vain to admit to this. If you had to describe the sum-total of the social scientific scholarly output of the west in a word, it would be ‘mysticism.’ Because it is the case that anti-colonial, anti-imperial, and anti-capitalist investigations of the political-economic conditions of the world have produced social scientific knowledge on par with the discovery of the atom, but it is not treated as such. “It is right to rebel” is not just a moral claim about violence but a scientific summary of human history.

But I think it is precisely this reactionary state of affairs that makes people devalue the social sciences as an actual site of legitimate investigation, that understanding the historical trajectory of ideas or the political conditions of life are valuable pursuits for any just society. Because social science deals with the social world, the political conditions under which the social world is investigated and understood are themselves bound up in questions of political and economic power. But this equally extends to the physical sciences - I know at least in environmental sciences, there is an ever-growing reckoning with climate change as an imminent threat to all life on earth, and environmental scientists cannot avoid talking about the political conditions of our planet even if all they want to do is study a river. Genocide is measurable in soil samples taken in the American continent. The separation of the environmental from the social is itself a historically contingent arrangement of knowledge.

But this is infuriating to even complain about because I don’t want to sound like an entitled academic or ego-bruised professional. I have no desire to start a faculty war with the STEM fields. I feel secure in my own expertise. I do not want anyone to “recognise my greatness” I am just profoundly lonely in this whole affair. and it just so happens that we exist in terribly anti-intellectual conditions for the most cruel and ugly reasons possible, and so we (me, I) have to suffer seeing books on sale claiming to give a general account of human history written by a physicist

[stariikis]

ni-ki as your study date •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

synopsis ; the price you paid for choosing an athletic boyfriend over an academic one? no practical help when you're drowning in mysterious equations and symbols. but at least he's good at comforting the perfectionist in you.

pairing ; athletic!nishimura riki x academic achiever!reader genre ; fluff, established rs wc ; 802 warnings n notes ; dear readers, these two are mentally suffering because one doesn't care and the other cares too much! trigger warning, bio phys chem and math mentioned..

“-And during PE we played badminton, and Jake hyung was soooo bad today. He kept trying to smash but missed the shuttlecock.” Beside you, with his “I-swear-I’ll-finish-three-chapters-today” Physics textbook hardly opened to the first page, Riki doesn’t stop rambling about the various sports he’s played today. You’ve heard enough about the goals he scored during an impromptu morning game of football. The way his best friend fumbled during a badminton match. How his legs ache from standing in the sun for hours during baseball training. You’re about to tug him out the cafe by his jersey. 

“Are you going to start your notes or what?” You shove him with a lighthearted tone, barely concealing the exasperation behind your words. “All that talk about wanting to finally get an A but you still keep yapping. About sports, no less.” 

Riki rolls his eyes and mock-salutes in your direction. “Yes, ma’am.” 

Taking a sip of your matcha latte, you sigh resolutely and return to examine various electronic configurations. Perhaps now, Riki will leave you in peace… 

Only five minutes later, you’re snapped out of focus with a sheepish nudge. 

“What’s a moment…” “OH my days Nishimura Riki how can you not know what a moment is that’s like basic physics you’re supposed to have known that since we started chapter TWO.” 

Shrinking under your scoldings, he glances back at his textbook, reads the definition and looks back towards you. “I don’t get it.” 

With another heavy sigh, you scoot closer and attempt to explain as simply as you possibly can. However, he’s deliberately distracting you, with playful caresses through your hair and touches of kisses as smooth as silk on your cheek. You’ve got to be turning a beetroot red, but you ignore the warmth spreading through your cheeks and continue on. 

“Now repeat what I just said to you.” Refusing to give in to his silly antics, you cross your arms and lean back. Swiping the hair his fingers touched, not too long ago, out the way. 

He pouts, knowing him acting cute is your soft spot. “That’s not fair.” 

“Why?” You press, but relent and hunch back over your notes. “You know what, just focus on relearning your balanced forces. Do you remember what the principles of moments even is?” Oh wait, he doesn’t even know what a moment is. The way he blinks once at his textbook and blinks twice your way proves this. 

“At this point, I’m not dead, you’re more cooked than I am. And I am cooked.” 

Gasping scandalously, he whisper shouts, “You’re literally my academic goal, what are you on? I wish I had the motivation you did. Okay, more like I wish I had your grades, but we both know that’s not happening.” 

He gestures to all the bruises he’s obtained over the past week, scratches and wounds that demonstrate how dedicated he is to all the sports he partakes in. They’re his own personal souveniers. Although most fade quickly, some leave scars burning in his skin, but he’s proud of them all even when you express your concern for him. 

He’s always been like that. Dismissive of concerning matters because he enjoys showing people how strong he is. Internally and externally. The complete opposite of him, one Maths question you get wrong and you start questioning the very bane of your existence. 

You fall into silence, looking back at your notes. You have lost track of where Chemistry starts and ends, your paper copy of the periodic table crumpled and defaced from your bursts of frustration. You may not show it, but there’s so much going on in your head it’s hard to escape the fog you’ve mentally put yourself in. With the crazy STEM course you’ve chosen, you know that you’re definitely on the train tracks with a sign pointing towards a crash site. 

Either you shut yourself out and pass with flying colours, or you enjoy life and fail miserably. There’s no in between. Is it so hard to want to maintain a social life and a healthy relationship, while topping your class and achieving high honours? Perhaps it is. 

Noticing your sudden stillness, Riki panics. “You’re stressing out again. Why are you stressing out again? You’re doing well. Well, compared to me. Should I just do bio? Things with numbers are always complicated..” 

You laugh as he looks back at his noteless textbook. 

“Anyway, I think you’re doing just fine.” Riki murmurs, massaging your back with his hand. “Don’t overwork yourself and you’ll be fine. Just like you were, and always will be. Do you want me to test you?” 

“That’d be nice…” You smile, watching his eyes light up a little too eagerly when he closes his textbook. “But you’re just saying that so you don’t have to study anymore, right?”

how life be feeling rn, send prayers

[elllisaaa]

how xdh would confess to you

-> words count : 3.3k words

-> genre : xdh members crushing on you, fluff

-> warnings : is extremely cute

-> sorry if I made any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> masterlist | xdh masterlist

GOO GUNIL - MUSICAL

i think that he would be friendly with you from the get-go, always making sure that you feel included in the group conversation.

other than that, i see him as someone who’s very in touch with his own emotions and feelings so he would definitely be quick to notice that he has a crush on you. 

but even if he’s aware of that and that it’s pretty obvious from the way he looks at you, he doesn’t want to confess.

even if he acts confident in front of you, a part of him is still anxious about being rejected. 

poor baby cannot help but overthink everyone of his interactions with you, thinking that he’s cringe and awkward - which is untrue because you just think he’s so cool. 

when you told him that you’d always wanted to learn how to play the drums, he nonchalantly proposed to teach you the basics. 

but gunil hadn’t realized that it would mean spending a lot of time alone with you, and he couldn’t help his heart from beating faster each time he was too close to you, or that you’d look at him with a proud smile on your face because you succeeded in doing what you had just learned. 

“- Did I do it right this time ?”

Gunil was so focused on not cooing at you from how cute your concentrated face was while playing on his drums, with his sticks, that he only snapped out of his haze when he heard your voice. 

“- Uh, yeah, pretty much. But for this part, you should do it more like this. Here, let me show you.”

He got closer to you, his back pressed against your back as he grabbed your hands over the sticks so he could demonstrate exactly how the combo should be done. You could feel the heat of his body behind you, and his hot breath hitting the skin of your neck. You shivered and a blush started to creep up your cheeks - even your ears were red, you could feel it. Your mind drifted away from the drums, only focusing on Gunil and how he was driving you mad. 

“- Y/N ? Are you alright ?”

It was your turn to be snapped out from your thoughts, quickly turning your head in his direction, only for your gaze to fall into his, his face much closer to yours than you thought. You tried to open your mouth and say something, anything to explain why you were distracted and that wasn’t the truth. But Gunil didn’t let you have any chance as he leaned in to lightly kiss you, his hands still holding yours. Your eyes widened in surprise and you let out a gasp as he pulled away. 

“- I…”

Your voice was shaking, and noticing your shocked expression, Gunil cringed at himself. He let go of your hands, burying his face in his palms to shake off the embarrassment. What was he thinking when kissing you just like that ? He was an idiot.

“- Listen, I’m sorry, I don’t even know what took over me, but I’m sorry. I won’t talk about it ever again, we can forget all about it, I’m s-”

This time, it was Gunil who let out a gasp when he felt your lips crashing against his instead. He barely registered the sound of his drumsticks hitting the floor as he got lost in your taste. And this time, when you pulled away, he had a big smile on his face. 

“- Took you long enough.”

“not gonna take me long to take you on a date now, baby.”

KIM JUNGSU - CHARMING

do i really need to explain that he’s the most gentleman to ever exist ? 

like he’s so caring and sweet towards anyone, it makes me tear up.

so you can bet that with you - his crush - he’s even more observant and warmhearted and it feels good to have someone watching over you that much

the type to send you little texts to remind you to eat or drink water when you’re studying hard or working a long shift. 

also the type to put his hands around the corner of things when you bend down so you won’t hurt yourself (i’m crying i need him so bad).

his hugs !!! oh my god i just know that he gives the best hugs ever and that he loves to engulf you in his embrace every time he sees you to say hi.

so like the gentleman he is, his confession would be so fucking romantic (i’m crying again).

he would ask you out to dinner, bringing you to a fancy place where he would’ve reserved the best table for the two of you.

praising you the whole fucking night honestly he just fell in love even more seing you in your pretty outfit, and knowing that you made so much efforts for him is making him weak in the knees.

“- Thank you so much for tonight, Jungsu. I really had a great time.”

You walked as slowly as possible, even if the night was cold and that you could still feel the chilly air despite Jungsu’s jacket sitting on your shoulders since the moment he saw you shivering. You didn’t want the night to end, nor did Jungsu. He wished he could’ve spent the rest of his life by your side, simply admiring you. Both of you had big smiles aborning your faces, hands brushing against each other without any of you daring to take it.

“- It was amazing, yeah. I should be the one thanking you for agreeing to go out with me.”

You chuckled cutely, a pretty blush spreading across your cheeks, and Jungsu couldn’t help staring at you like he did all night. 

“- If I can be honest, I’m glad you made the first move because I was too anxious to do it myself.

- Then I’m glad to have man up for once.”

Both of you laughed together, and disappointment filled you up when you noticed that you were now in front of your building, and that the night would’ve to end eventually. You stood in front of Jungsu, finally finding the courage to grab his hands in yours as your eyes dived into his sparkling gaze. 

“- I know I’ve said it a million times now, but thank you for tonight. And I think I really wouldn’t mind going out with you again.

- I’ll keep that in mind, then.”

Jungsu grinned at you, and the urge to kiss your lips overtook him. But it was only your first date, he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. So he simply squeezed your hand in his one last time, wished you good night, and turned away. He wanted to slap himself for being such a coward. He had only took three or four steps in the direction of his car before he said “fuck it” and got back to you. 

“- Jungsu ? What are yo-”

You were interrupted by his lips capturing yours, his hands cupping your face. You closed your eyes as you melted under his touch, your hands going up to wrap around his neck and kissing him back. Soon enough, it was impossible to keep on going because you both were smiling too much. Jungsu pulled away, his forehead resting against yours and pushing a stray hair behind your ear.

“- I’ve waited all night for you to do this.”

“if i had known that, i would’ve kissed my girlfriend sooner.”

KWAK JISEOK - CHILDISH

he’s truly so fun to be around, a day with him is never boring. 

you like to pretend like he’s not that funny, but he is, and he makes you laugh all the time. 

you know that when you have a bad day, you only need to spend some time with jiseok and that he will cheer you up without even trying because his mere presence just makes you feel better. 

he’s so comfortable to be around, it’s like you had known him for years.

jiseok is also very playful too, he loves to tease and especially you.

that’s how the members know he has a crush on you ; because he’s constantly bugging you, trying to get your attention.

whenever you walk in a room, his eyes suddenly illuminate, and whenever you walk away or talk to somebody else, he looks like a lost puppy (i’m dying, he’s too cute).

he thinks he’s slick, but he’s really not - the way he’s always trying to rizz you up kinda gives it away.

he pretends it’s only for fun and giggles, but truly, he hopes that one day you’ll catch on because he wants to go out with you.

“- Hey Y/N !”

You sighed and rolled your eyes as Jiseok put his arm around your shoulders, a smirk already stretching out his lips. You already knew what he was going to do, he always did whenever he saw you. And you acted annoyed every time even if you lowkey liked the attention, even if it didn’t bother you that much.

“- What do you want this time, Jiseok ?

- Just wanted to ask you something.”

You could feel the pick up line coming, you knew him all too well by now.

“- Go on.

- Do you believe in love at first sight ? Or should I walk by again ?”

The proud grin on his face didn’t flatter, even as you groaned in annoyance. Jiseok wouldn’t let your lack of positive reactions discourage him. He didn’t have the balls to tell you all about what he was feeling straight up, and the only way he knew to confess was by telling all these stupid pick up lines. If only he wasn’t such a loser, he could’ve asked you out, tell you he liked you. But everytime he looked at you for too long, his hands were shaking and it was as if he couldn’t even talk properly anymore, and he chickened out everytime. 

“- I don’t think it’s gonna be necessary, I’m already in love.”

Jiseok was ready to manage another rejection but hearing you flirt back left him speechless. He opened his mouth and closed it without letting out any words a few times, his cheeks progressively growing more and more red. You chuckled at his lack of reaction, finding him even more cute like that. 

“- Cat got your tongue now ? Come on ! You’ve been flirting with me for months and now that I’m finally saying yes you’re getting shy ?

- You just catched me off guard, that’s all !”

It was your turn to grin proudly as Jiseok buried his blushing face into your shoulder. He was so fucking embarassed, but he couldn’t help the smile stretching out his lips. 

“does this mean i can finally take you out ?”

OH SEUNGMIN - JOKING

he’s a menace, always up to tease you with a pretty smirk on his face. 

but he’s also very sweet because he has a soft spot for you, it’s honestly pathetic from his members point of view how down bad he is for you.

seungmin is constantly praising you, even for the tiniest things : you did good at your exams = praises ; or you cooked something new and it was tasty = praises.

he’s also always complimenting you, be it your outfits, your hair or makeup ; you can bet that he will tell you you’re pretty as soon as he sees you. 

he’s a little playful with it, calling you darling just to see the blush spread on your cheeks.

however, he’s not immune to the effect you have on him either, and he doesn’t really try to hide it. 

you could only be smiling at him, or passionately talking about something you liked and he’s grinning like a lovestruck fool because he thinks you’re so amazing. 

even if sometimes you feel like you can be annoying or boring, seungmin always makes sure to remind you that he’s there to listen to you, that he’s interested. 

despite that, he would not confess first because you already know how infatuated he is with you, he wants you to make the first move. 

“- Seungmin ! It’s not funny, I need to study ! Give me my book !”

The boy chuckled as he held out your book higher, clearly out of your reach. He wasn’t doing this to be mean, obviously. You just looked so cute with the pout aborning your lips, and the way you jumped to try and get your belongings back was also too adorable for him to give up just now. 

“- You don’t need to study, darling, you’re already smart.”

You wanted to stay mad at him but his praises made you flustered once again, still not used to the way he was always adoring you. But you really needed to work on this, because you didn’t want to fail your classes, obviously. 

“- It’s not a good reason, give it back !

- Only if you give me a kiss.”

Seungmin was visibly very satisfied with what he came up with, his smirk widening as your pout intensified. He didn’t believe that you would be bold enough to do it, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Little did he know you had enough of his games. You were already smitten by him, he didn’t need to aggravate that by flirting with you every chance he got. 

“- Okay, if that’s what it takes.”

You stood on your tippy toes to reach his lips, lightly kissing him as you closed your eyes. Seungmin didn’t even have the time to register what was happening before he let go of your book, his now free hands coming down to hold your waist and kiss you again. When you pulled away, surprise was still visible in his eyes, and it was your turn to chuckle.

“- For once, you’re the one blushing.”

“not for long, darling. it’s my duty as your boyfriend, after all.”

HAN HYEONGJUN - SHY

my favourite boy ! he’s so cute i think he’s gonna kill me one day, i swear.

when gunil first introduced you to the guys, hyeongjun was very quiet and didn’t talk to you much.

it wasn’t that he didn’t want to, it was only that you were so amazing that he didn’t know how to approach you.

so you’ll have to make the first move to engage in conversation with him, but despite him being a little shy at first, you discover that he’s sweet and passionate, and that you love him very much.

and hyeongjun loves you very much too, so much that it’s painfully obvious for everyone else to watch.

so much that his members started to tease him about his crush on you, even if you’re there. hyeongjun denies and denies all the time, especially since you’re joking about it too and that he’s convinced it’s because you’re not interested in him.

despite that, you seem to really enjoy your time with him as you’re always seeking his answers in group talking, or waiting to spend time alone with him. 

“- Hey, Hyeongjun ! Look who’s coming !”

Hyeongjun turned around and discovered that you were the one Jiseok was talking about. His friend had a big grin on his face as he witnessed Hyeongjun cheeks’ growing red as you entered their dorm. Sometimes, he hated his band members for being able to read into him that easily. 

“- Hi guys ! How are you ?

- Well, Hyeongjun is always well when you’re here, Y/N.”

Yes, he definitely hated Jiseok, he would have to sleep with one eye open that night. He glared at his friend coldly, but you only giggled and teased him further. It hurt a little sometimes to have you laughing at his crush like that, even if he always said it wasn’t true, he wished it would be. 

“- Do you need help ?”

Hyeongjun was straddled by your voice as you came into the kitchen where he was finishing up cooking for everyone. He told you what you could do to help him and he tried to stop his hands from shaking and kept a casual conversation with you.

“- The boys seem really adamant about your crush, they love to tease you about it.”

You weren’t looking at him when you said that but you had a little grin on your lips. Hyeongjun stared at you for a few seconds, trying to decide if he should say something now or not, but his heart took the decision for him before his brain could think about it further. 

“- Would it be so bad if I really had a crush on you ?”

You snapped your head up to look at him, but he couldn’t hold your gaze for long, his cheeks heating up again the longer he felt your eyes on him. Your eyes were sparkling with joy, your smile eating your face as you watched him nervously run his hand through his long hair. You stopped him from biting his nail when you carefully grabbed his hand, his eyes finally falling into yours.

“- Well, since I have a crush on you too, I don’t think it would be a problem.”

“i’m gonna be the one to tease them now because i have the prettiest girlfriend in the world.”

LEE JOOYEON - SILLY

he has such a good vibe, i feel like you can only smile and be happy when you’re with him.

he’s the type of friend you can do stupid things with and he isn’t gonna judge you because he does stupid things too. 

he could be considered childish at times, but you love it because you can do everything you want with him and he makes you laugh so much.

definitely the first one you come to whenever you feel down, and he’s extremely grateful that you’re this comfortable with him.

i think he would be very touchy with you, he always wants to hug you or cuddle when you’re both watching a movie. 

his other way to hint that he has a crush on you is by flirting every so often, with this cheeky smile of his (screaming).

so when a game night gives him the perfect occasion to make a move, jooyeon is gonna take it. 

“- Okay so your task is to propose to someone !”

Jooyeon immediately locked eyes with you upon hearing his dare. It was finally his chance to tell you how he had been feeling for some time now. You grinned at him like you did every time you knew he was going to do something a little stupid. Jooyeon got down on one knee in front of you, grabbing one of your hands in his and looking you in the eyes. 

“- Y/N, will you make me the happiest man alive and be my wife ?”

If you hadn’t known him for years, you would’ve thought that he was serious. The way Jooyeon seemed to really be waiting for an answer made your breath hitch in your throat, your heart beat faster and butterflies come alive in your stomach.

“- I guess I don’t have a choice.”

Everyone around you was whistling and screaming “kiss”. And honestly, you wanted to do it. You wanted to reach forward and kiss Jooyeon. You searched for a response in his eyes, but all you could see was adoration. So you didn’t think further and you cupped his face to peck his lips. This time, it was his breath that was knocked out of his lungs, his brain unable to process what had just happened. And as all your friends cheered, the world around you dissolved, tunnel vision to Jooyeon’s face that you were still holding gently. 

“- You know… I wouldn’t mind becoming your wife for real.”

That big smile you loved so much took over his features, making it hard for him to kiss you again, and again, and again. You were giggling the whole time, letting Jooyeon hold you in his arms and twirl you around as if you really were a newly married couple.

“it’s too soon for now, but one day i’ll do it. one day i’m gonna marry you, baby.”

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

[4doras]

HAUNTED HEARTS ౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆

you signed up for a job at a halloween night park, you didn’t know a boy(friend) was part of it… ⊹♡

yujin x reader | strangers to lovers

genre. fluff (lowercase intended)

wc. 0.6k

a/n. initially had a ricky halloween fic and i didn’t like it BUT i wanted to write another fic for zb1 so here u guys go ~ ALSO i didn’t proofread this so please tell me if there are any typos or grammar issues!! ><

you got employed at a theme park for halloween, you expected nothing different from the usual, dark night, full of masked people dressed up as monsters. what you didn't know was that part of the job was; surviving the night with a cute boy. you never minded working with guys but he was different, he was your type. he, who was called han yujin, looked like a bunny, was shy, and very polite. the only thing that almost made you decline was that the shift was from 7PM to 12AM, it was gonna be a long night.

more under the cut!

you patiently waited for yujin to get dressed in his uniform and fix his hair. “so, before you let the people go, you have to pull on their safety belts and make sure it can’t move. once you’re sure they can move, just wait for me and i’ll press the button.” for every word, he demonstrated an action to match what he was saying.

when the first wave of people came in, you started getting nervous. you never liked displaying your emotions so no one needed to comfort you, but it was as if yujin could read through you. “hey, don’t worry, you’ll do fine.” he smiled. it warmed your heart when you realized that he noticed how you were feeling, you smiled back at him with a small chuckle.

you attempted to lift the belts, then once all were secured, you walked back and waited for yujin to finish his part. “you can press it if yours are secured.” you said, and yujin let them go.

while the audience zoomed off, you and yujin chatted. “so you're here every year?” you asked yujin. “mhm, my school funds this a little so i think it's good to do it every year.” he explained, while simultaneously maintaining perfect eye contact with you. “what school do you go to?” you didn’t know that a school funded this, even if it was only a bit. “Zerose High, what about you?” “i go to Zerose High, too. its weird, i haven’t seen you before.” you were confused to say the least, how come you hadn’t seen him before if you were the same age and went to the same school? “i hang out with seniors, maybe that’s why.” he sighed, “by the way, you’re really pretty.” the confession caught you off guard. sometimes, students at school would confess to you and it made you seriously uncomfortable. but it was odd. everything yujin did, you never felt awkward around him. “t-thank you,” you stuttered. you felt a warmth spread across your cheeks. “you’re cute, too.” you said, truthfully. he became shy after your compliment, it wasn’t like you were saying it to say it, and he must’ve realized you weren’t just complimenting him. you really did think he was cute.

the both of you continued your night together, always chatting between the rides like it was a tradition, slowly becoming closer within your five hour shift.

before you both left the park, you saw a photo booth. you got into the booth with yujin, your bodies basically glued to each other with the limited space. the two of you flashed silly poses, making hearts together, and whatever you could think of within the ten seconds. you couldn’t ever predict what yujin would’ve done. as you posed for your third box, yujin’s hand had found its way onto your waist, gently holding you closer. when the last box came, yujin wrapped his arm around your back, bringing you to face him and softly kissed you. endless thoughts galloped through your mind, why was he kissing you? why did it feel so natural? you couldn’t find any answer.

your hand felt magnetized to yujin’s hair, you played with it while the camera took a picture. once the camera snapped a frame, it printed out the picture, which you would cherish as your best memory forever. yujin pulled away from you, his face flushed with red.

“i like you a lot, y/n.”

i suppose working until midnight was worth it…

[ririkookiemonster]

Syllabus of Secrets - JJK

Summary: You have been crushing hard on your hot English professor, Jeon Jungkook for months. When nothing seems to work when you do everything to get his attention, totally fed up and desperate, you decide to go all out: submitting a smutty story for your English project, pouring all your fantasies about him into it.

Pairing: Professor!jungkook x Student!reader

Genre: Smut

Warning: Dirty talk, unprotected sex (DO NOTTTT) degradation, name calling, fingering, spanking, rough sex, smut reading, office sex, dom!jk, sub!oc, student x professor, reader sends Jk a smut report, basically porn but in words.

Word count: 2.4K+

Writer: riri⛓️

Note: this is my first writing omggg. i have absolutely NO experience in writing, i just love to write hahaha. i hope y’all love this. please let me know how you feel about this one shot. please leave your suggestions and do tell me if there’s anything i can do to improve my writing. there’s always a room for improvement. anywayssss i hope you like it haha <33

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DEBUT POST!!!!

You have been lusting after a certain someone for months now.

The cold-hearted English professor, Mr Jeon, had always been the definition of sexy. He is someone who can make ANYONE fold by just one look. He had always been on your mind since the semester began.  Always dressed sharply in a suit with a tie and a perfectly kept haircut, his sharp eyes seemed to cut through you whenever you spoke.

As you paced through the hallway, you remind yourself that he has never acknowledged your achievements in class, even when you’ve answered his questions with confidence, or aced another test. Again.

You've been doing everything you could to be noticed by him. Even if it meant giving him looks, yes, not the innocent ones, or dressing on a tight top, hoping, you’ll gain his attention.

You swore you’d do ANYTHING to make him notice you.

And so you did…

You decided to get a little creative with your last project. You know you went too far by writing an erotic article for your English project. The writing was impressive, with your use of descriptive adjectives helping to bring the scenes to life.

And guess what? He did notice the lewd piece of project you submitted. Now that he’s called you to his office, you’re nervous. You’re sure the cold man is going to chastise you for your suggestive writing, but you can’t help but be turned on by just the thought of him.

You pace through the hallway that leads you to his office, with your heart pounding  unsure of what kind of reception you’ll get from him. Now it’s either you risk a bad grade, or you take the risk of him being completely disgusted by you. You brace yourself and knock the door before turning the knob.

You peek in through the door, and a pair of cold eyes already welcome you, as you make your way inside the office.

“Sit down.” He said coldly.

 You gulp nervously and take a seat, maintaining eye contact with the handsome professor. His strong manly scent invades your senses, and his dark aura makes you you even more nervous, which doesn’t help the situation. He pulls out some papers and places them in front of you as his eye pierce through your soul.

“Miss Y/N. This… this is an analysis of English romanticism. But you know that, don’t you?”  He says, pointing at your English ‘project’.

“Sweetheart I’ve been overlooking your shamefull behaviour in my class for far too long, I see that my tolerance is now embolding you.” He adds.

“Mr Jeon I-”

“Let me be VERY clear that is a university, not a strip club. It is wildly inappropriate of you to wear those short skirts to my class and it is even more inappropriate for you to to be spreading your legs during my lecture to demonstrate your ‘lack of undergarments’ to me.” He cut you off, looking pissed, only making your jaw drop in surprise.

“I thought I might be imagining things but then you come in and hand me THIS SMUT for my feedback.” he adds, glaring at you.

“I-It was piece of my creative writing, nothing more, Mr Jeon.” You add, as you gulp nervously, looking at him with the most innocent eyes. He narrows his eyes at you, and exhales heavily.

“You are an audacious little minx, aren’t you?”

Your lips form a thin line as you look down at the floor. “I swear, it was nothing like that, Mr Jeon.”

“Drop the act you little whore!” Jungkook warned as he slowly walks towards you.

“Tell me, what do youi think happens when you tease your professor all this semester? What do you think happens when you spend your eyes glazed over my lecture? Playing with the hem of your skirt, teasing your lips with the tip of your pen as if their inclination is to wrapped around something.” He adds, making his way towards you.

“What do you think that does to me, you naughty little slut? What do you think it makes me imagine doing things to you.” He spoke in a low murmur, brushing away a strand of hair from your face.

“N-nothing.” You replied, biting on your lower lip, continuing to avoid eye contact with him.

“NO REALLY, TELL ME. I am your English professor, sweetheart. And we use words here. BIG DESCRIPTIVE WORDS, full of imagery.” He orders, as he kept his gaze on you. “And look at me when i talk to you, slut!”

Your eyes nervously find the way to his as you reply in a soft murmur. “That you’d want to fuck me…?”

Your reply only makes him chuckle mockingly. “Youre so cute. Is that all you think I’d do to you? I’d just fuck you? HOW UNIMAGINITIVE..”

He picks up the pages of your article and starts to flip pages. You swore you saw an evil glint in his eyes. “Lets see what you’ve written in your papers, don’t we?”

“You don’t think i’d ‘desecrate’ your needy cunt until you loose your mind?”

“Or how about offer you the ‘sips of divinity’ with the weeping tip of my cock until you’re drunk with lust?” He looks at you, his lips forming an evil smirk. “So my aspiring little y/n, is that what you want me to do to you?”

Shit.

You stare into those eyes, unsure of what to say, though you’ve been practically dying for this. You just nibble nervously on you lips and try to speak but your words get caught in your throat. Your face is flushed with embarrassment.

“I can see you’re too flustered to answer, Y/N. That’s alright for now, we’ll help that innocent mouth of yours to catch up with your deliciously vulgar mind soon enough. In the mean time how about you use your body to show me what you want?”

“W-what do you mean, Mr jeon?” You're shocked by his request and struggle to process what he's asking you to do.

“Sit on my desk with your legs spread. NOW.” Jungkook commanded, as he studies your body, waiting for you to stand up.

You hesitantly get up but a strong arm grabs you by the wrists and pulls you towards him. He's much stronger than you'd realized, and he easily lifts you onto the table behind you.

Jungkook stands over you, his eyes blazing with desire, as he slips his hand under your skirt until you feel his fingers lingering over your pantie’s waistband. Your mind is hazy as you feel it slipping down your thighs, leaving you exposed, feeling extremely aroused as you hear him and in a husky voice.

“Go on. let’s see if you’re more than just a tease. finger yourself, sweetheart. I want to see how desperate that needy little cunt of yours is.”

Following his orders almost immediately, you desperately start to touch yourself, inserting your finger deep in your already wet cunt, shamelessly moaning over your own fingers. Your lewd noises only made Jungkook smirk.

“While you shamelessly dive your fingers knuckle deep in that luscious little pussy of yours, i’ll dive deeper into the precious dirty mind of yours. Let’s see what other silly little fantasies you’ve written here, why don’t we?”

He smirked as he pulled those papers out, yet again. He cleared is throat, and started reading out loud.

“He towered over me with an obscene grandiosity, like some great erotic deity. his turgid member eclipsed my vision as the sun does the sky.” He laughs mockingly, continuing

“And look at this…. I felt an exhorting rush of pleasure as he pushed greedily into me, and again, penetrating my inner walls.”

He sighs and looks at you. “You know, if he’s already pushed into you, how is he further penetrating? you know what? I don’t even have the patience for this one.” He throws away the sheets as he looks to deep into your eyes, sending shivers down your spine.

“Your over use of adjectives is TERRIBLY self indulging, you know?” He stated.

You stared at him like a statue, completely silent. You took a deep breath as you finally mustered up the courage to reply. “My apologies Mr Jeon, but i think my project was a—”

“Hey hey hey!” He cut you you in middle as his face darkens and and he stands up abruptly. “Did you just stop fingering yourself, little slut!?”

And before you could answer, he grabbed you by your thighs, and pulled you towards him, your dripping needy cunt in display.

“You’re such a good student but you really are useless in fucking yourself properly. Look, I’ll show you how to do it!”

You let out a shriek as he shoved his long fingers inside you without warning, fucking your wet pussy in a ruthless pace. Your body started to shiver because of the vibrating sensation and the satisfaction his fingers were providing you.

“Oh fuck!” You let out a muffled moan, as you gripped his shoulder with one hand, and balancing yourself in the top of the table from the other.

“You like that, whore?” Jungkook asked, watching your lewd face, with drool covering your chin, fucking your cunt as fast as ever. You nodded in response, only to earn a merciless pinch in your clit by him, causing you whimper.

“WORDS! I NEED WORDS YOU LITTLE FUCKTOY!” Jungkook growled, fastening the pace of his hands, causing you loose your mind.

“Y-y-yes, i like when you finger m-me like a d-dirty slut i am, Mr J-jeon.” You managed to answer, which was quite brave after the merciless treatment you were getting by Jungkook’s fingers.

Jungkook smirked as he pinched your nipple, and continues to finger fuck you. “This is how a stupid little whore like you should be fingered. Roughly. Relentlessly. Ruthlessly.”

Feeding his ego and his arousal only more, you whimpered shamelessly, your legs shaking, as you feel a familiar knot forming in your stomach. You bite down on your lower lip to suppress your moans, but the fingering did nothing to your favor.

“Mr Jeon i t-think i am close…”

Jungkook glanced at you, and seeing your ruined face with smudged mascara and lipstick, with drool covered in your chin, he knew you were close.

“You cum very easily don’t you? Such a slut.” He scoffs. “You don’t get to cum on my fingers. I want you to cum on my cock, like you imagined me, in your fanstasies.”

He pulls his fingers out, and you only frown in response.

“Cmon, be a good girl and clean my fingers for me. I will reward you with my ‘turgid member’ soon after.”

He shoved his dripping fingers on your mouth as you tasted yourself on his fingers, You sucked and licked his fingers clean, as if your life depended on it, earning a smirk from him.

“Good girl. Now get up, and bend over facing the desk, with your legs spread apart.” He commanded as he helped you get up, and placed you in the position. He grabbed your hips as he thrusted roughly into your pussy, and started moving in a ruthless pace.

“O-oh my g-god Mr Jeon” You whimpered in pain and pleasure, as your one hand gripped his shoulder tightly, and the other rested on the table, to keep your balance. Your lewd noises only fed his ego and arousal, as he smirked maintaining the pace.

“This is how fucking sluts like you deserve to be fucked! Until you’re all swollen. Until you’re all numb. Until you forget why were you even here in the first place. and oh….” He landed a harsh spank on your ass, making you gasp in pleasure.

“Until you start to treat your professor properly. Until you forget every word of your pompous vocabulary.”

“I-i promise to be good Mr J-jeon..” You manage to mumble, as he continued to brutally punish your needy cunt.

“Oh you will, little bitch! You will be a good little whore for your professor. That’s what you get for being such a tease.”

You throw your head back as the familiar feeling of a knot in your stomach starts to overtake your mind again. You knew you wont be able to last long. “I-i am close, Mr Jeon!” You moaned out, only to earn a stinging sensation of a spank in your ass again.

“Be a good fucking slut and wait for me to cum too. Can you do that Y/N? can you do that? Hmmm?”

You nodded as you closed your eyes, trying to control your orgasm but the feeling of pleasure with his strong thrusts makes it unable to do so. You try to hold yourself as much as you could, while he started to fondle with your breasts, teasing the tip of your nipples with his thumb, making it only harder for you.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful, you know that Y/N? Good little slut.” He smashed his lips against yours, as he kissed you with all his might, his lips gradually trailing to your collarbone and then to your breasts. He started to suckle on your nipple, earning a loud moan from you.

“That’s it baby, be a good babygirl and cum for me. i am close too.” He declared, as he started to pinch your nipples, driving you over the edge with his manic pace.

“Fuck fuck fuck, i think i am cumming!”

“Go on little whore! milk my cock! show me how filthy you are. Cum for me!”

You feel a wave of pleasure wash over you, your toes curling and your vision blurry. Feeling you shudder and start to cum, Jungkook increases the intensity of his thrusts. You feel his member twitch as you knew he’s close. With one final thrust, he released his hot cum inside you, pulsing with each thrust. "Fuck," he grunts out between breaths.

His head rested against your shoulder, you both were breathing heavily, your sweaty bodies intertwined. After a few minutes, he pulled out of you with a wet pop, his cum dripping out of your walls. He grabbed a box of tissues from his drawer, and cleaned himself and your dripping, utterly spent core.

While you try to regain your composure, Jungkook helps you stand up and fix your clothes.

“T-thankyou professor.” Is all you could say, noticing his gesture.

“It’s alright, Miss Y/N.” Jungkook nodded, helping you to get on your feet. Just as you were about to leave, He called out.

“Miss Y/N, you know, whenever you need help, you can always approach me. You know where to find me…”

A red tint crept up on your face, as you nodded. “I will, professor. Have a good day” and exited his office.

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Please leave comments and let me know how you liked my debut post. and let me know if i can do something to make my writing better. a room for improvement is my driving force🩷🪽

~ riri💋

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#syllabus of secrets

[miumura]

LOVING YOU FROM A DISTANCE — HEE FIC.

“one day, i will stop falling in love with you…”

S ☆ — Heeseung has liked you for ages, too long for him to even recall how. Sure, he should be confessing now, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t, especially if you have a boyfriend. So how is he going to tell you his feelings in only a span of a year before he leaves?

2 LOVERS? — best-friend!heeseung x best-friend!fem!reader

GENRE — high school au, bsfs to lovers to ???, he fell first, she fell harder (+ sort of right person, wrong time), angst, fluff

WARNINGS — brief mentions of insecurities (abt looks, way they act, etc), some people may be shitty …

FEATURING — beomgyu from txt, sunghoon from enhypen

WORD COUNT — 18K+ (18379)

SOPH — giving angst another try 🙏 and with lyfad being the one with the most votes on that poll, this is the fic you guys chose! you let me know if you chose the correct one 😊 (sona don’t speak u dont count u lyfad HATER 🤬🤬🤬) . also i looped the playlist i linked when writing so you know the playlist really hit 😜 anyways i hope you enjoy <33 !

ONE.

You looked at him, your gaze filled with admiration for Heeseung’s abilities. He had remained seated, skillfully plucking the guitar strings and producing a soft chord. As he glanced up, he smiled upon seeing your awestruck expression. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride for having such a talented best friend.

Whether it was academics, sports, or any other endeavor he pursued, he seemed to effortlessly excel in everything he did. His dedication and determination were inspiring, as he never settled for mediocrity. Being around him sparked motivation within you, urging you to push your limits and strive for greatness.

"Dang, you're good. I never knew you could play!" you exclaimed as he finished playing the guitar.

Heeseung smiled and put the guitar down beside him. "You know me; I'm always good at everything, but I don't mean to boast," he said. “You really don't know your best friend, do you?"

"Seriously, you're good at everything. It's hard to keep up with you," you joked, thinking about all the skills he possessed. "I wish I could play like you."

"It's not that difficult to learn. You're a quick learner," he reassured.

Eagerly, you suggested, "Could you teach me?"

"Sure, why not?" he agreed with a smile.

Excited about the opportunity to learn from Heeseung, you both decided to take some time for a quick guitar lesson. You sat right beside him, preparing to learn a few tips.

"Alright, let's start with the basics," Heeseung said, holding the guitar and showing you how to hold it properly. He hands you his guitar, allowing you to copy what he does.

You watched attentively, eager to learn everything you could. "Like this?" you asked, mimicking his hand position.

“Exactly, just position that slightly a bit more towards this way,” he scoots closer to you, propping the item correctly in your hand. “You’re doing great!”

"Now, let's learn how to strum the strings." He demonstrated a gentle strumming motion. "Try it yourself." He hands you the pick, watching over you as you try it out.

You nervously held the guitar and attempted to replicate his strumming. The sound was a bit off, but you kept trying.

Heeseung smiled reassuringly. "You’re doing great! Perfect for a first timer."

He patiently taught you the chords, giving you the encouragement and guidance that you needed. Even if you fumbled a bit, you gradually started improving the sounds. "Wow, that sounds much better now!" you exclaimed, surprised by your progress.

Heeseung chuckled. "See? You're a fast learner. Just keep practicing, and you'll be playing like a pro in no time."

"I just have to teach you a few more basic chords before I can teach you a song," Heeseung said, reaching over to take the guitar from your hands. However, before he could proceed, the door swung open, revealing Beomgyu. He greeted you both with a warm smile.

"You know," Beomgyu chimed in cheerfully, "if you really wanted to learn guitar, you should've asked me." He plopped down beside you, extending a hand towards Heeseung. "Hand me that guitar, Hee."

You exchanged surprised glances, amazed by the unexpected turn of events. Handing the guitar over to Beomgyu, you watched as he effortlessly adjusted his posture and strummed a few chords.

"I've been playing for a while now," Beomgyu continued, "and I'd love to share what I've learned with you."

"You know how to play guitar too?" you asked Beomgyu in surprise.

"Of course I do. Your boyfriend knows a thing or two," Beomgyu replied cheesily, earning a giggle from you. As the playful banter continued, Heeseung couldn't help but feel a twinge of discomfort, sensing himself becoming the third wheel. However, it wasn't an entirely unfamiliar situation.

Gradually distancing himself from the two of you, Heeseung settled into a corner, observing your interaction. He wore a gentle smile, occasionally chuckling at your playful mistakes and Beomgyu's teasing scolds.

In that moment, Heeseung couldn't deny the bittersweet longing within him. He wished he could be more than just your best friend; he wished for something more.

In the corner, Heeseung's heart felt conflicted as he watched your interaction with Beomgyu. Part of him wished he could be the one making you laugh and sharing those playful moments together. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if he were the one holding the guitar, strumming strings that would make your heart skip a beat.

He tried shaking the thoughts away, just as he easily did when he first found out you and Beomgyu were dating. But it was getting more difficult to accept it, rather than easily moving on as he should. Even if he’s happy for you, deep down, there’s still that silent hope that one day the stars will align and you will see him in a different light. But until then, he continued to cherish every moment spent with you, treasuring the friendship that was the foundation of it all.

And so, with a mixture of emotions, Heeseung chose to stay in that corner, watching over you and Beomgyu, silently wishing for your happiness, even if it meant his own heart had to endure a subtle ache in the process.

What else could he possibly do?

All he knows is that he must finally share something he's been keeping inside for a while. He knows he has to do it soon, before it becomes too late, even if the odds aren't in his favor. And he needs to know when it is the right time to do so.

TWO.

"Man, can you believe it's our final year already?" You exclaim, intertwining your arm with Beomgyu's as Heeseung quietly trails behind.

"I know, right? We've made so many unforgettable memories here," Beomgyu replies, his hair tousled by the wind.

"Definitely. This school will always hold a special place in our hearts," you say, noticing Heeseung's lack of response. "Come on, Heeseung, don't lag behind like that." You pause, grabbing his arm and pulling him closer to you. Heeseung cracks a smile, now walking beside you as you keep your hand on his arm, ensuring he doesn't get left behind.

Heeseung can't help but notice that if you continue to act this way, it becomes increasingly difficult for him to let go of his feelings for you. Instead of feeling numb or unaffected, he experiences a strange, growing sensation in his gut that intensifies with each passing day. Every little gesture or interaction from you brings a blush to his cheeks, causing his face to turn pink. As much as he wishes and wants to keep feeling these things, he can’t enjoy them for too long. All because of your relationship with Beomgyu, his other best friend.

Trios often come with their own set of complications, and deep down, Heeseung silently disagrees with the idea of it working out for you three. Being in a trio, especially when two friends are in a romantic relationship, usually leaves the third person feeling like an outsider. However, you and Beomgyu are unaware of Heeseung's hidden feelings. Heeseung was adept at concealing his true feelings.

Heeseung can vividly recall the day when Beomgyu asked you out and witnessed the joy that lit up your face upon accepting. He saw the radiant smile you directed towards Beomgyu, and in that moment, Heeseung had no choice but to smile back, despite the confusion and mixed emotions swirling within him.

He wondered why he couldn't be the one to bring that smile to your face, just like Beomgyu did effortlessly. Ever since that day, Heeseung has been pretending to be genuinely happy for you and Beomgyu, even though it weighs heavily on his conscience.

Heeseung carries a sense of guilt for pretending to be a supportive friend. Deep down, he yearns for something more, but he also grapples with the realization that his desires may never be fulfilled.

As time went on, Heeseung couldn't shake the feeling that he and Beomgyu were growing apart, and he believed that you were the cause of their distance. In his eyes, you became a huge barrier, separating him from Beomgyu. The bond they once shared seemed to weaken, overshadowed by the presence of your relationship.

Heeseung was convinced that Beomgyu knew of his crush on you. He remembers Beomgyu's comments whenever he gets caught looking at you with adoring eyes or speaking more softly when you are around. However, Heeseung had consistently denied any romantic feelings to Beomgyu, perhaps leading Beomgyu to pursue a relationship with you. Heeseung couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if he hadn't denied his true emotions.

Heeseung wondered if it was his fault for giving up his chance. Perhaps he had been too hesitant, fearing the potential consequences of confessing his feelings to a longtime best friend. Heeseung couldn't deny that, if it were you, he would gladly accept his confession in an instant. However, he remained uncertain about your response. The fear of rejection and the possibility of jeopardizing the bond you shared kept him hesitant and apprehensive.

It was definitely his fault—at least that’s what Heeseung thought.

"Bye, Gyu!" you called out before heading off to your first period. Thankfully, Heeseung shared most of his classes with you, which he was grateful for.

"Bye, cutie!" Beomgyu playfully messed up his hair and quickly darted away before you could yell at him. It made Heeseung feel a bit uncomfortable, as he found it gross, but if he were the one saying those words to you, it would be a different story.

Heeseung knew he should try to suppress these feelings, but it was easier said than done.

"Come on, Heeseung, let's grab seats near the window." You pulled him along by the sleeve, leading him into the classroom. He couldn't help but smile at your enthusiasm, allowing you to take the lead.

How could he simply stop falling for you?

"Why don't we sit there?" Heeseung suggested, pointing to the two desks at the back of the classroom. You glanced around, noticing they were the only available seats left.

"It's a bit far," you remarked, but nonetheless, you walked over to the desks with Heeseung.

"Don't worry; if we take any notes, you can always look at mine," Heeseung reassured you with a smile.

As you settled into your seats, Heeseung pulled out his notebook and pen, ready for the class to begin.

"I hope it's an interesting class today," you said, glancing around the room.

Heeseung chuckled softly. "Well, I can’t say the same. With you by my side, any class becomes more enjoyable."

You laughed at Heeseung’s remark, giving him a glance. "You always know how to make me smile, Heeseung."

Heeseung's heart skipped a beat, but he quickly composed himself. "I'm glad to hear that. It's important to make each other happy, right?"

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. You playfully teased Heeseung, "Definitely. Geez, where did you learn these words from? Beomgyu?"

What a way to ruin the mood.

The mention of Beomgyu's name brought a slight pang to Heeseung's heart. It seemed like no matter the conversation, Beomgyu's name would always find its way into the mix. He couldn't help but wonder why it couldn't just be the two of you, free from the presence of his best friend. Was it wrong for him to feel a sense of dread whenever Beomgyu's name was mentioned?

"Nope," Heeseung replied with a forced smile, hoping to mask the feelings swirling within him. He didn't want to burden you with his internal struggles, especially when you seemed to be oblivious to any underlying tension.

You took his response at face value, assuming that everything was fine. Unaware of the mixed emotions he was suppressing, you continued to talk with him, leaving Heeseung to grapple with his unspoken feelings.

Heeseung knew deep down that he would forever be seen as just a friend in your eyes. Despite this painful realization, he couldn't bring himself to reveal the truth and risk losing the precious bond you both shared.

Each passing day, he endured the ache in his heart, all while putting on a facade of unwavering support and friendship. It was the least he could do for you to see you happy with Beomgyu. He didn't want to disrupt the harmony that existed between you and risk causing any rifts.

Even though it pained him with each passing day.

Is it bad to always wish for more?

THREE.

"Class is so boring," you whispered to Heeseung, unable to hide your lack of interest in the lecture. The monotony of the school routine had already set in, and it felt like another uneventful week.

"I know, right?" Heeseung replied, resting his head on his hand. He couldn't afford to let himself get too bored, knowing that you would probably ask him for notes once you snapped out of your drowsiness. He slid his notebook closer to you, diligently jotting down everything the teacher was saying.

"Thank you, Hee," you whispered, grateful for his assistance as you gazed absentmindedly out the window. You couldn't have asked for a better seatmate.

Heeseung hummed in response, stealing a glance at you and breaking into a warm smile.

Heeseung continued writing, his focus momentarily interrupted by the sensation of a cold marker tracing along his resting arm. He glanced over to find you grinning mischievously and drawing random doodles on his skin.

A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he pointed at one of the drawings. "What the hell is that?" he teased, referring to the lopsided smiley face you had sketched. You joined in his laughter, defending your artistic skills.

"Hey, don't judge my smiley faces! You were moving too much, so it ended up like that!" You playfully protested, pretending to be offended by his critique.

"Sure, sure. I could definitely do better. Give me the marker," Heeseung teased, reaching out to take the marker from you.

"No way!" you exclaimed, pulling it away from his reach. "Oh, come on! Let me show you my superior doodling skills," he pleaded, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You playfully shook your head, resisting his attempts to snatch the marker from your grasp. "Sorry, but I don't think the world is ready for your 'superior' doodling skills," you teased, a smirk dancing on your lips.

Heeseung feigned a hurt expression, dramatically clutching his chest. "Ouch, that hurts! My artistic abilities are being underestimated here," he replied, mock offense evident in his tone.

You laughed, enjoying the playful banter between the two of you. It was moments like these that made you appreciate Heeseung's presence even more. He always knew how to bring a smile to your face, even in the midst of a dull classroom.

"Here, let me give it a try," Heeseung insisted, determined to draw something special. You relented, finally surrendering the marker to his hands. He gently took hold of your wrist, bringing your arm closer to him, and focused on creating the perfect smiley face.

As he meticulously crafted the drawing, his brows furrowed in concentration. However, despite his efforts, the smiley face seemed to take on a similar drooped appearance to the one you had drawn on him earlier. Heeseung's disappointment was evident on his face.

"Look—" he began to say, but you quickly interjected with a laugh, not letting him finish. You found it amusing that the smiley face turned out nearly identical to yours.

"See! I told you, it's the same for everyone!" you exclaimed, chuckling at the matching doodle he had created on your arm.

"It might be the marker's fault," Heeseung suggested, trying to find an explanation.

"Fault or not, at least we have these adorable matching doodles now," you replied, a warm smile gracing your lips. You moved your arm closer to his, comparing the two smiley faces side by side.

“They’re actually pretty cute,” Heeseung said with a smile, his eyes reflecting genuine warmth. He couldn’t help but find the simplicity of the smiley-face drawings charming.

"They definitely are," you agreed, admiring the simple yet endearing drawings. For a brief moment, it felt like there was nothing else in the world except the two of you, sharing a genuine connection.

“Oh right—Beomgyu’s basketball game is next week; are you coming?” You asked as the question finally popped into your head.

There was a basketball game already. Heeseung frowned, quickly regaining composure, so you didn’t notice. He didn't want you to notice the twinge of disappointment he felt deep inside. In that instant, Heeseung couldn't help but be reminded of the unspoken truth between you.

No matter how much he cared for you, Beomgyu would always hold a special place in your heart as your boyfriend. Heeseung, on the other hand, would forever remain in the background, a loyal friend with unrequited feelings.

He had grown accustomed to being the one in the background, supporting you both silently. But in moments like these, the contrast between his hidden feelings and the reality of your relationship with Beomgyu became more apparent, casting a shadow over his heart. It was a reminder that no matter how much he wished for something more, he would always be the one left behind, watching from afar.

As much as he wanted to be happy for Beomgyu and support your relationship, it was hard not to feel a tinge of sadness and longing. But Heeseung knew he had to hide those emotions to preserve the friendship that meant so much to him.

With a sigh, Heeseung forced a smile and added, "I'm sure it'll be a great game. I'll be there to cheer Beomgyu on." Deep down, however, he couldn't help but wish for a different outcome, knowing it was a distant dream.

You nodded, sensing a shift in Heeseung's demeanor, but you didn't press any further. It seemed like your words passed through him, as if he were lost in his own thoughts. The sound of the bell ringing didn't even register for him, further emphasizing his distant state of mind.

Concern crossed your face as you gently touched his arm, trying to bring him back to the present. "Heeseung, are you okay? You seem a bit off today."

He blinked, refocusing his attention on you, and mustered a small smile. "Yeah, sorry about that. I just got lost in my thoughts. I'm fine, really."

Though his words reassured you, a lingering worry remained. It was unlike Heeseung to be so absent-minded. As you both gathered your belongings and prepared to leave the classroom, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was bothering him—something he wasn't willing to share just yet.

"Let's meet at our usual spot, alright? I'm sure Gyu's already waiting," you said, getting ready to leave the classroom while Heeseung was still packing up.

Of course he'd be waiting.

"Yeah, see you guys later," Heeseung replied, attempting to sound cheerful, which elicited a faint smile from you.

Putting away his pencil case, Heeseung glanced at the oddly drawn smiley face and the random doodles you had playfully sketched on him. It brought a genuine smile to his face. However, as he let out a heavy sigh, he gathered his belongings and exited the classroom, making his way towards the usual meeting spot.

In his heart, Heeseung held onto the hope that his sincere smiles and friendly gestures would be enough to conceal his true feelings, at least for the time being. As he walked towards the rendezvous point, a bittersweet smile lingered on his lips. He knew he could still bring a small measure of happiness to your life, even if it couldn't be in the way he longed for.

Yes, he could do that, he reassured himself, even though deep down he couldn't help but wonder how long he could keep up the facade.

He shouldn’t have any trouble doing so, right?

FOUR.

It was the day. The day for Beomgyu’s basketball game, the one you’ve been worried about. Heeseung doesn’t understand why your boyfriend was a good player anyway.

“You think I should make a sign?” you asked, seeking Heeseung’s opinion.

“Depends on how big it’s going to be,” he replied, maintaining his nonchalant demeanor.

“I don’t know, maybe just like a small banner that says, ‘BEOMGYU ACE!’ It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think so?” You said, already excitedly planning how you would like to decorate it.

Hearing you use the term “Ace” for others always felt a bit weird to him. He’d listen to it very often now when you went to compliment Beomgyu. He couldn’t help but reminisce about the times you’d called him that—a little joke between you two. But it seemed like things had changed, and he had to accept it.

Although the word “Ace” seems to suit him better. You should’ve just made a sign for him instead, but he couldn’t bring himself to voice that desire. How would he do that anyway?

You didn’t know the slight wince that crossed Heeseung’s face as his back was turned towards you. He forced a small smile when he turned around, focusing on being a supportive friend.

“Yeah, I think that would be nice,” Heeseung finally said, breaking the brief silence. “I’m sure he’d love it.”

Heeseung would’ve liked it. A lot.

So there he was, listening attentively and giving you suggestions on how to decorate it. After all, it was Beomgyu’s important day, and you two had to do something to support him.

When you two arrived, the excitement was noticeable in the air. Heeseung found himself amidst a sea of people, sitting on the bleachers with you.

“I’m already nervous,” You say to Heeseung, not being able to shake off the feeling. You weren’t playing; Beomgyu was, but you couldn’t help it.

“I’m sure Beomgyu will do great; he always has,” Heeseung reassures you, grabbing the water bottle next to him. “Here, this might help you a bit.”

You took the water, taking anxious sips. Heeseung was right; Beomgyu was, without a doubt, a fantastic player. His basketball skills were undeniably impressive, and it was one of the qualities that initially drew you closer to him.

As the game was about to begin, the atmosphere in the gymnasium became charged with excitement. The sound of enthusiastic cheers and rhythmic clapping of hands filled the air. Heeseung and you stood up, joining the crowd in cheering for Beomgyu’s team.

When Beomgyu’s team made their entrance, you couldn’t contain your excitement. The radiant energy exuded by the team was palpable, and you eagerly searched for Beomgyu among his teammates. Your face lit up when your eyes locked with his, and you couldn't help but let out a squeal of delight. "Beomgyu!" you called out, your voice filled with admiration and support. He noticed you in the crowd and grinned, waving back at you with a mixture of pride and determination.

As Beomgyu's gaze met Heeseung's, a moment of acknowledgment passed between them. Beomgyu raised his hand and waved at Heeseung, a genuine smile gracing his face. Heeseung reciprocates the gesture, waving back with equal warmth, momentarily pushing aside his internal struggles.

As the referee blew the whistle and the game began, Beomgyu's determination was apparent in his every move. You could tell that Beomgyu was motivated to perform well in the game, not just for himself but also for you. The desire to impress and make you proud shone in his eyes as he prepared to take the court. It was evident that he wanted to demonstrate his skills and prove himself as a capable athlete, all while knowing that your eyes would be on him throughout the game.

Beomgyu's basketball skills were undeniably impressive, and it was one of the qualities that initially drew you toward him. His agility, precision, and finesse on the court were captivating to watch. You admired his dedication and natural talent, which made him stand out among his peers. It was no wonder that you were attracted to him, as his basketball prowess added to his overall appeal.

Heeseung, although standing beside you, couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. He masked his true feelings with a supportive smile, even though inside, it hurt him to witness the connection between you and Beomgyu growing stronger. He couldn't deny the talent and effort Beomgyu put into the game, but a part of him longed for your attention to shift toward him.

Every now and then, Heeseung's eyes would unconsciously drift to you. He watched as you cheered, your voice filled with genuine enthusiasm. Your laughter and smiles were contagious, spreading joy to those around you. He couldn't help but feel a mix of happiness and sadness, knowing that he wasn't the one who could evoke those reactions from you.

Seeing you smile and cheer for your boyfriend, Heeseung couldn't help but feel a pang of longing deep within his chest. What was so different between him and Beomgyu? Is it because Beomgyu was more good-looking? Did he have the features that could make anyone fall for him and not him?

His thoughts were slowly eating him alive, as if they were gnawing on his skin. He quickly pushed those thoughts aside, reminding himself to focus on supporting his friends.

As the game reached its climax, Beomgyu's team secured a victory, and the crowd erupted into cheers and applause. Heeseung clapped enthusiastically, sharing in the jubilant atmosphere. He couldn't deny the pride he felt for his friend's achievement.

After the game, filled with excitement, you and Heeseung approached Beomgyu. The elation on your faces was palpable, but unbeknownst to you, Heeseung was grappling with inner turmoil.

"You did amazing!" you exclaimed, extending your arms for a congratulatory hug from Beomgyu. He reciprocated with a wide smile, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground, twirling you in a moment of pure joy.

Your infectious laughter echoed through the air, enveloping the scene. It was as if Heeseung blended into the background, a side character of your happiness, while his own heartache intensified.

Heeseung mustered a smile, trying to suppress the gnawing emptiness he felt inside. Is it okay for him to feel this way?

“I saw your signs; they made me play even better today,” Beomgyu giggled. Heeseung smiled, glad it helped him, even if it did just a bit.

He congratulated Beomgyu once again, his words filled with genuine admiration despite the turmoil within him. Deep down, he wanted to be the one who could sweep you off your feet, revel in the joy of your laughter, and share those intimate moments with you.

"Let's eat out!" you suggested enthusiastically once Beomgyu put you down from the twirl.

"I would love to, but maybe next time? Coach told me there's going to be a team dinner, and I don't want to miss that," Beomgyu explained with a slight pout.

Weird. Heeseung found it weird. Beomgyu rarely attended team dinners, despite being the ace player. The coach would always have to persuade him to join. Nevertheless, Heeseung pushed the thought aside and chimed in, "Aw, well, next time then?"

Beomgyu nodded in agreement, causing your frown to fade as you understood his commitment. "Alright, Gyu, make sure you eat plenty, okay? I'll go home with Hee."

As you turned to leave, Heeseung caught a fleeting glimpse of an indiscernible expression on Beomgyu's face. It was a mix of emotions that left Heeseung questioning his own perception. Was he imagining things, or was there something more to Beomgyu's look?

Maybe he was too tired from that game.

FIVE.

As Beomgyu's schedule became increasingly packed with various commitments, Heeseung couldn't help but notice how you sought comfort and companionship from him. While he enjoyed being there for you, a twinge of insecurity crept into his thoughts; sometimes he wondered if he was just a backup when Beomgyu wasn't available. However, he considered you his priority, so he let go of those thoughts.

"You won't believe what Beomgyu did today!" you exclaimed, frustration evident in your voice. You plopped right next to him, making him take off his headphones.

Heeseung tilted his head, giving you his full attention. "What happened?"

"He completely forgot about our plans again," you sighed, exasperated. "We were supposed to go to the movies, but he got caught up with his friends and didn't even bother to let me know. I checked his story, and he’s having fun with them. It's like I'm not even a priority."

Heeseung frowned sympathetically. "I'm sorry to hear that. It must be really frustrating."

You nodded, grateful for his understanding. "Yeah, it is. I mean, I know he's busy, but it hurts when he constantly lets me down. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a second option."

And that’s what he feels whenever you hang out with Beomgyu. The feeling of being considered the second-best option for such a long time weighed heavily on him. He wondered if you could truly comprehend his perspective and the emotions he grappled with every day.

"I understand more than you know," he replied softly, his voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability. "Sometimes, it can be really tough feeling like you're not the first choice. But please remember, you're incredible, and anyone would be lucky to have you as their priority."

You’d definitely be lucky, but he wouldn’t be. He considered you his number one, but did you? Definitely not.

"You know, Heeseung, sometimes I just don't understand Beomgyu." You sighed, frustration evident in your voice. "He can be so oblivious to my needs and feelings. It's like he's always caught up in his own world."

Heeseung nodded sympathetically, his gaze fixed on you. "I get it. Relationships can be complicated, and it's normal to have ups and downs. But remember, communication is key. Have you talked to him about how you feel?"

You sighed again, running a hand through your hair. "I've tried, but sometimes it feels like he doesn't really listen or take my concerns seriously. It's frustrating."

Heeseung's expression softened, and he reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I understand how important it is to feel heard and understood. If you ever need someone to talk to, you know I'm here for you, right? Your happiness matters to me."

A small smile formed on your face as you looked at Heeseung. "Thank you, Heeseung. I'm really grateful to have you as my friend. You always know how to make me feel better."

Heeseung smiled back, his eyes filled with a mix of fondness and longing. "That's what friends are for, right? I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Just friends, nothing more.

Heeseung, wanting to alleviate your disappointment, mustered the courage to offer a solution. "Hey, if you don't want those movie tickets to go to waste, I could go with you instead. We can make it a fun outing, just the two of us." He tried his best to sound cheerful, hoping to turn the situation around and spend quality time with you, even if it meant setting aside his own feelings.

You looked at Heeseung, surprise evident in your eyes. "Really? You'd go with me?"

Heeseung nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Of course. I wouldn't want those tickets to go to waste, and besides, it'll be fun. We can grab some snacks, enjoy the movie, and have a great time together."

A mixture of gratitude and excitement washed over you as you realized you wouldn't have to miss out on the movie after all. "Thank you, Heeseung. That means a lot to me. I'm really looking forward to it."

Heeseung's smile widened, but deep inside, he couldn't help but wish it was more than just a friendly outing. Nevertheless, he pushed those thoughts aside, determined to make the most of the time he would spend with you.

It was time. Heeseung stood outside the theater, waiting for you to join him. He couldn't help but feel a mix of nervousness and anticipation. It was just a movie outing with a friend, but it felt significant to him.

As you approached, Heeseung's heart skipped a beat. You looked stunning, a smile lighting up your face as you greeted him. "Hey, Heeseung! Sorry for keeping you waiting."

Heeseung shook his head, a warm smile on his lips. "No worries at all. I'm glad you made it. Shall we go in?"

You nodded eagerly, and together you entered the theater. "I'll grab our tickets, and you can take care of the snacks," you suggested, prompting a nod from Heeseung before he headed towards the snack counter. He contemplated whether to get two small bags of popcorn or opt for a large bucket. Eventually, he settled on the large one, partly for its convenience in carrying, but deep down, he couldn't help but hope for subtle moments when your hands would touch while reaching for the popcorn.

Returning to you with his arms full of snacks, Heeseung couldn't hide his satisfied grin. You looked at the amount of snacks in awe, surprised he had gotten so much. Heeseung chuckled, realizing he might have gone a little overboard with the snacks. "Yeah, I might have gotten carried away with the popcorn. But hey, we won't go hungry during the movie!"

You giggled and took a handful of gummy worms, popping one into your mouth. "I appreciate your enthusiasm for snacks. You know me too well, Heeseung."

Heeseung couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness at your words. He loved how easily you could share these simple moments together. As you settled into your seats, Heeseung couldn't help but steal glances at you. The dimmed lights added a certain glow to your features, and he found himself captivated by your presence.

As the lights dimmed and the film started, you settled into your seats, passing the snacks between you. During the movie, there were moments when your hands brushed against each other while reaching for the snacks, bringing a subtle thrill to Heeseung.

You both shared a lighthearted laugh, enjoying the anticipation of the movie ahead. Throughout the movie, Heeseung laughed at the funny scenes, sharing popcorn and exchanging comments with you. He enjoyed the easy conversation, the shared moments of laughter, and the shared snacks. It felt comfortable and familiar, yet a part of him longed for something more.

As the credits rolled and the lights came up, you turned to Heeseung with a satisfied smile. "That movie was amazing! Thanks for the snacks, Heeseung. You always know how to make things more enjoyable."

Heeseung smiled warmly at you, feeling a sense of contentment. "I'm glad you liked it. It was my pleasure, really."

Leaving the theater, you walked side by side, engaged in lively conversation about the movie. Heeseung couldn't help but think about how wonderful it would be if these outings were more than just friendly gestures. But for now, he cherished every moment spent with you, silently hoping that one day the line between friendship and something more would blur.

"My Uber is about to arrive," you announced, glancing at your phone to check for updates.

"Alright," Heeseung nodded briskly.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Thank you so much for keeping me company today." You expressed your gratitude, a genuine smile lighting up your face as you waved goodbye.

Heeseung waved back, watching you as you walked away. The chilly air nipped at his cheeks, but a warmth spread through his being. It wasn't just the physical warmth he sought, but the warmth that came from being in your presence, even for a short while.

As he strolled along with his hands tucked in his pockets, he couldn't help but reflect on the day's events. The shared laughter, the moments of closeness, and the genuine connection he felt with you brought a sense of fulfillment that transcended the wintry weather. He couldn't deny the happiness that blossomed within him, fueling his hope for a future where he could be more than just a friend in your life.

With each step, Heeseung carried the flickering flame of his feelings, knowing that one day he would have to summon the courage to illuminate the truth and reveal the depths of his affection and desire. Until then, he treasured the memories made and the moments shared, cherishing the warmth that enveloped him as he embarked on his journey towards an uncertain but hopeful tomorrow.

All he could do was hope. And that hope was ignited just because of today.

SIX.

Five months into the school year, the weird nature of your relationship with Beomgyu continued. The on-again, off-again pattern left you feeling confused and hurt. Sometimes he would be present, acting as if nothing had happened, only to suddenly vanish without a warning. It was a rollercoaster of emotions that took its toll on your heart.

Throughout it all, Heeseung stood by your side, silently witnessing your pain. He despised seeing you upset, especially over someone who claimed to be your lover. He wanted to be the one who could bring you stability and happiness—the person you could rely on without fear of abandonment.

"I don't understand why he keeps doing this to you," Heeseung expressed with a mix of frustration and concern. "You deserve so much better—someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve."

You looked up at Heeseung, grateful for his unwavering support. "I don't know, Hee. I keep holding onto the hope that things will change and that he'll finally commit and be there for me. But it's exhausting."

Heeseung reached out, gently rubbing his hand on your back. “You know, it’s okay to reconsider your relationship with him.”

As tears welled up in your eyes and you buried your face in your knees, you confessed, "I know, Hee. Love doesn't just vanish easily. Despite everything, I still have feelings for him. You know, I still love him."

Heeseung's heart shattered, resonating with your pain, though you remained unaware of his own hidden emotions.

“Yeah…love doesn’t disappear easily, no matter the obstacle someone could face,” he replied, forcing a bitter smile, careful to conceal his own feelings that mirrored yours.

Heeseung's words caught you off guard, and you looked up at him, wiping away your tears. "What do you mean?"

Heeseung hesitated for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I mean, sometimes we hold onto love even when it hurts us, even when we know deep down that it may not be the best thing for us. It's difficult to let go, especially when our hearts are involved."

You furrowed your brows, trying to understand his cryptic message. "Are you...talking about me and Beomgyu?"

Don’t slip up, Heeseung.

Heeseung sighed, his gaze filled with empathy. "I'm just saying that sometimes we need to prioritize our own happiness and well-being. Love should bring us joy and fulfillment, not constant pain and uncertainty."

Why was his love for you hurting him instead?

You nodded slowly, the weight of his words sinking in. "I guess you're right. It's just hard to let go of something that meant so much to me."

Whew, he escaped that easily.

Tears welled up in your eyes once again, but this time they were tears of gratitude. "Thank you, Heeseung. Thank you for being there for me and helping me see things more clearly."

Heeseung gave you a warm smile, his heartache masked by genuine concern. "Anytime, YN. I'll always be here for you, supporting you every step of the way. Just please talk to him.”

“I’ll try.” You see him offering a hug, which you gladly accept. You felt comfortable in his embrace, feeling the tension in your body disappear.

You felt better, while someone else watched you two in anger.

It was Beomgyu. Why? He doesn’t even know.

Beomgyu hurriedly approached, his hand reaching out to grab your arm.

"What the heck, Gyu?" you exclaimed, caught off guard by his sudden action.

"Let's have a conversation," he said urgently.

"Out of nowhere?" you questioned, puzzled by his timing.

"Isn't that what you've been asking for?" Beomgyu retorted, his voice tinged with frustration.

Yeah, but after five fucking months?” You scoffed, not believing the words coming out of his mouth.

“Now, I've been distant, and I apologize for that. I've been trying to figure things out, but it's not fair to you. I don't want to string you along if I'm not sure about us anymore."

A mix of frustration and sadness welled up within you. "So, what are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?"

Beomgyu sighed, his gaze falling to the ground. "I... I don't know. I’m not saying that. I need some time to think and to sort through my feelings. That’s why I keep telling you to talk to me." Frustration starts to get to him, still keeping his grip on your arm.

Heeseung, who had been standing nearby, watching the tense exchange, couldn't bear to see you in pain. He stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on your back. "Hey, it's going to be okay," he reassured softly, his voice filled with empathy.

"Hey, let's step away from this for a moment," he urged gently, trying to diffuse the situation.

Beomgyu's eyes narrowed, his anger turning towards Heeseung. "What's your problem? Stay out of this!" He snapped, his voice laced with frustration.

Heeseung stood his ground, his voice steady. "I care about her, and I can't stand by and watch her get hurt. We both want what's best for her, don't we?"

Beomgyu clenched his fists, his expression filled with defiance. "Don't act like you know what's best for her. She's my girlfriend, not yours!"

Heeseung's gaze hardened, his protective instincts kicking in. "What’s wrong with you? It's not about me or you. It's about her happiness, and right now, she's hurting. So, I'm going to make sure she's okay."

Beomgyu's face hardened, a stubborn determination replacing his previous uncertainty. He loosened his grip, gritting his teeth. "Fine, but this isn't over. We'll talk, just not now."

As Beomgyu walked away, leaving you and Heeseung behind, the weight of the situation settled heavily on you. But with Heeseung by your side, offering his unwavering support, you found a glimmer of strength amidst the pain.

With determination in his eyes, Heeseung gently tried to guide your mind away from the heated argument, leading you to a quieter and more peaceful space where he could offer you the comfort and support you needed.

“You okay?” Heeseung asked, looking at your not-okay state.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You said, lying straight through your teeth. You were not fine; how could you be?

“It’s okay; just be honest with me,” Heeseung said, sitting beside you.

Be honest. It's ironic for him to be saying such a thing. Was he being honest with you? Definitely not, but he argues that it’s for the greater good.

“I don’t think me and Beomgyu are going to work out,” you sighed, running your hand through your hair. “I think it’s over.”

“Oh,” Heeseung says, the only word slipping out of his mouth.

Heeseung's heart ached with conflicting emotions. He questioned his own motives, wondering why he still felt compelled to pursue you despite knowing that you loved Beomgyu so deeply. The weight of seeing you sad and torn between two people crushed him, as he couldn't bear the thought of causing you any more pain.

"Why am I even doing this?" Heeseung thought to himself, doubt lingering in his mind. "What's the point of chasing someone who will soon be my best friend's ex and still has feelings for him?"

Yet, as he contemplated these questions, he couldn't ignore the fact that you were his best friend, someone he cared deeply about. The bond you shared was special, and he cherished every moment spent together. It was that connection that made him question if he should listen to his doubts or follow his heart.

Heeseung wrestled with his conflicting feelings, torn between his desire for your happiness and his own emotional well-being. The uncertainty gnawed at him, leaving him uncertain of the path he should take.

Would he rather be a supporting character or a second love interest that gets pushed away?

The answer was clear. Maybe it was time to question his doubts—his doubts about pursuing you.

Maybe.

SEVEN.

"You're telling me you two got back together again?" Heeseung asked, trying to hide his disappointed tone.

He had hoped that things would have changed, that you would have realized your worth and moved on from the tiring relationship with Beomgyu. But hearing that you had reconnected with him only deepened his disappointment.

Heeseung's heart sank as he braced himself for the answer, knowing that it would confirm his fears. Yet he couldn't help but hope for a different outcome—a chance for him to finally express his true feelings for you.

"Yeah, we worked things out," you replied, oblivious to the underlying emotions in Heeseung's voice. “He apologized and got me gifts.”

Heeseung forced a smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm glad to hear that," he said, his voice sounding a bit strained.

You looked at him, sensing something was off. "Hee, are you okay?"

Heeseung quickly composed himself and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just... surprised, I guess. But if you're happy, that's what matters."

You reached out and touched his arm, concern evident in your eyes. "Thanks, Hee. You're such a good best friend."

Best friend. The words echoed in Heeseung's mind, causing a wave of frustration and longing. He despised how effortlessly those two words rolled off your tongue, unaware of the impact they had on him. It felt like a constant reminder of the boundary he could never cross and the role he would forever play in your life.

Heeseung yearned for a time when he could fully embrace being your best friend without the conflicting emotions that accompanied it. He wished he could accept his title and find contentment in it, but his heart yearned for more. The desire to be more than just a friend consumed him, even as he fought against it.

Every time he heard those words, a mixture of hope and pain washed over him. He longed for a day when he could call you more than just a friend, when he could openly express his true feelings without fear of jeopardizing the precious bond you shared.

"Yeah, your best friend," Heeseung replied through gritted teeth, his tone laced with a mix of bitterness and resignation. He tried his best to mask his true feelings and make it seem like he was content with being just that. But inside, his heart ached with unspoken longing and unfulfilled desires.

He will just continue what he’s best at. So he played the part, pretending that being your best friend was enough, even when it tore him apart inside. He swallowed his own yearnings, hiding them beneath a facade of acceptance, all the while silently hoping that one day you would see him in a different light.

"You want to go to the party tonight?" You asked, attempting to shift the mood and bring a spark of excitement into the conversation.

"What party?" Heeseung inquired, his tone slightly disinterested.

"You know, Mark's party. I heard his parents left for work again," you explained, hoping to pique his interest.

Heeseung hesitated for a moment before responding, "I'll think about it."

"Come on, it's our final year! Let's loosen up a bit and have some fun," you urged, hoping to persuade him to join in on the festivities.

Heeseung looked at you with a mix of uncertainty and longing. He wanted to be there for you, to make you happy, but the idea of attending a party where he might have to witness you with someone else was a painful thought. Nevertheless, he couldn't bear to let you down.

"Alright, I'll go," he finally agreed, mustering a smile despite the conflicting emotions swirling within him. "Let's make it a memorable night."

"Hey Heeseung, are you ready—" Sunghoon's voice interrupted Heeseung's frantic search as he opened the door. Sunghoon's eyes widened at the sight of the chaotic scene in Heeseung's room. Clothes were strewn all over the place, making it nearly impossible to find a suitable outfit.

"Heeseung, what the hell?" Sunghoon exclaimed, bewildered by the mess.

Heeseung sighed, feeling a mix of frustration and self-doubt. "I don't know, Sunghoon. I just... I want to find the right outfit, you know? Something that makes me feel good and confident."

Sunghoon shook his head, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "You're overthinking it, Heeseung. Trust me, you always look great, no matter what you wear. Just pick something and let's go have some fun."

"Who are you trying to impress?" Sunghoon chuckled, enjoying the sight of his friend's newfound determination.

You. He was trying to impress you tonight. Heeseung hesitated for a moment, the truth lingering on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn't bring himself to admit it, not even to his closest friend. "No one," he replied, trying to play it off casually.

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, seeing through Heeseung's response. "You're a big liar," he teased. "But fine, I'll help you out. Let's find you something that will turn heads."

As they sifted through the clothes together, Sunghoon offered suggestions and shared his fashion expertise. Heeseung appreciated his friend's support and the distraction it provided from his own conflicted feelings. Deep down, he knew that impressing you shouldn't be his main priority, but he couldn't help but want to stand out in your eyes.

After a few moments of searching, he pulled out a well-fitting black button-down shirt. Its sleek design and subtle pattern added a touch of sophistication.

He paired the shirt with dark black jeans that hugged his frame just right, emphasizing his slender figure. The jeans were slightly distressed, giving off a cool and effortless vibe. Heeseung knew they were one of your favorite pairs, and he hoped you would notice.

To complete the ensemble, he opted for a pair of black shoes that added a simple touch to the overall look. They were comfortable yet stylish, striking the perfect balance between casual and put-together.

As Heeseung looked at himself in the mirror, he couldn't help but feel a surge of confidence. The outfit accentuated his best features, highlighting his charm and charisma. He knew he looked good, and he hoped it would catch your attention.

As they finally settled on an outfit, Heeseung looked at himself in the mirror, feeling a newfound sense of confidence. Sunghoon grinned, giving him a thumbs up. "Looking good, Heeseung. Now let's go and make some memories tonight."

Heeseung nodded, appreciating Sunghoon's friendship more than ever. "Thanks, Sunghoon. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Sunghoon shrugged with a playful smirk on his face. "Hey, that's what best friends are for, right?” Sunghoon and Heeseung walk out, walking side by side, getting ready to go to Mark’s house.

And as expected, Heeseung stepped into the vibrant atmosphere of the party, immediately engulfed by the pulsating beats of the music and the contagious energy of the crowd. The room was filled with colorful lights, illuminating the main room, where people were already showing off their moves.

He glanced towards the backyard, where Mark's large swimming pool became the center of attention. Laughter and splashing sounds filled the air as people cannonballed into the water or lounged on inflatable floats, enjoying the refreshing respite from the heat.

The party was in full swing, with friends mingling, sharing laughter, and creating memories. Heeseung navigated through the lively crowd, feeling a mix of excitement and curiosity. He wondered if you were already there, enjoying the festivities and embracing the carefree spirit of the night. As they continued walking, they spotted Mark, who soon noticed their presence.

"Hey, look who decided to grace us with his presence!" Mark exclaimed, pulling Heeseung into a friendly hug. "I didn't expect you to show up, man."

Sunghoon chuckled, joining in the teasing. "Yeah, I thought Heeseung was allergic to parties or something."

Heeseung shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Well, you know how it is. It's senior year; I've got to make some memories."

Deep down, he knew he was lying. The real reason he had decided to come was you. Only your presence could have convinced him to step out of his comfort zone and immerse himself in the party atmosphere. But he wasn't ready to share that truth just yet.

Sunghoon chuckled, nudging Heeseung playfully. "Yeah, right. We all know there's a secret motive behind your sudden interest in parties."

Heeseung shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Maybe I just wanted to let loose and have some fun."

Mark grinned, oblivious to the unspoken tension. "Well, you came to the right place! Let's make some unforgettable memories tonight!"

As the music thumped in the background and the laughter of partygoers filled the air, Heeseung's gaze scanned the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. He couldn't help but wonder how the night would unfold and if fate would bring them closer or keep them apart. But for now, he pushed those thoughts aside, determined to enjoy the moment and make the most of the night ahead.

As Heeseung scanned the room, his gaze landed on you, and time seemed to stand still. You were in the midst of a joyous conversation, your laughter filling the air. In that moment, it felt like the entire party faded into the background, and there was only you, illuminated by the soft glow of the lights. He couldn't help but be captivated by your beauty, his breath catching in his chest.

Your smile reached your eyes, and the sight of it sent warmth surging through Heeseung's veins. He felt a mix of emotions stirring within him—admiration, longing, and an unspoken desire. In that instant, he couldn't deny the strong pull he felt towards you and the way your presence had the power to brighten his world.

Heeseung's heart skipped a beat as he took a step closer, drawn to you like a magnet. However, he quickly reminded himself to maintain his composure. Tonight was about having fun, not revealing the depth of his feelings. With a subtle smile, he made his way towards you, ready to just see you up close. He left Sunghoon with his group of friends, walking towards you.

"Hey Hee," you replied, your smile growing wider as you took in his appearance. Something about him seemed different tonight, and you couldn't help but notice how attractive he looked. His hair fell casually over his forehead, giving him a slightly tousled yet effortlessly stylish look. The partially unbuttoned shirt revealed a glimpse of his collarbone, adding to his overall appeal. As he settled down beside you, you couldn't help but appreciate his presence, though a voice in your head scolded you for even thinking about your best friend in such terms.

You shook off the fleeting thought, reminding yourself of your friendship. It was only natural to notice when someone you cared about looked good, right?

"You look great," Heeseung complimented, his words barely audible over the blaring music.

"Hm?" you tried to respond, straining to hear him amidst the noise.

Seeing your confusion, Heeseung leaned closer, his lips almost brushing against your ear as he whispered, "You look pretty tonight."

His words sent an unexpected shiver down your spine, and you couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth spread through your body. This wasn't the usual Heeseung you knew. There was something different about him tonight—a newfound confidence that intrigued and captivated you.

Lost for words, you simply smiled in response, appreciating the unexpected compliment. “You too,” you whispered in his ear, gaining a grin from Heeseung. He’s glad he looks great tonight; nobody else’s opinion matters now but yours.

"Where's Beomgyu?" Heeseung couldn't help but inquire, his curiosity getting the better of him as he searched the crowded party for any sign of his friend.

"He's off with his own friends. We decided to go our separate ways for the night," you replied with a hint of disappointment in your voice.

"Why?" Heeseung pressed further, genuinely wanting to understand the dynamics between you and Beomgyu.

You shrugged, a mixture of frustration and resignation evident on your face. "I don't know. He's got some friends he wants to impress, I guess."

Heeseung's heart sank a little at your response, knowing that you deserved better than being left behind for others. At that moment, an idea crossed his mind, and he mustered up the courage to offer it.

"Well, if he's not around, I can keep you company for the night," he suggested, his voice laced with a mix of sincerity and a hint of nervousness. Deep down, he hoped that you would accept his offer and give him a chance to show you a different kind of friendship—one that was unwavering and genuine.

You looked at Heeseung, surprised by his offer. A part of you wanted to decline, fearing that it could complicate your friendship. But another part of you, one that craved his unwavering presence, couldn't help but consider the idea.

A smile played on your lips as you nodded. "I'd love that, Hee. It's always a good time with you."

Heeseung's face lit up with a mixture of relief and joy. He couldn't hide the happiness that swelled within him at your acceptance. For a moment, he forgot about his own unrequited feelings, focusing instead on making sure you had a memorable night.

As the night unfolded, you and Heeseung found yourselves engaged in lively conversations, laughter, and shared moments that reinforced the deep bond between you. Heeseung went out of his way to ensure you felt valued and appreciated, his unwavering support evident in every word and action.

You couldn't help but notice how different Heeseung was tonight—more confident, more present. And you found yourself seeing him in a new light, appreciating the depth of his friendship and the genuine care he had for you.

As the party continued, you found yourself losing track of time, completely immersed in the connection you shared with Heeseung. The music blared in the background, but it seemed distant compared to the warmth and comfort you found in each other's presence.

Eventually, the night began to wind down, and the party started to thin out. You and Heeseung found a quieter corner where you could talk without shouting over the music. The atmosphere became more intimate, and the energy between you grew palpable.

You and Heeseung found a tranquil spot outside, settling down on the grass and gazing up at the starry sky. The twinkling stars illuminated the darkness, creating a serene backdrop for your conversation.

A peaceful silence enveloped the two of you, offering a respite from the blaring music that still echoed from the party house. The ambiance felt both calm and tinged with a hint of melancholy, causing Heeseung's thoughts to revolve around you. Concern for your well-being mingled with his own personal worries, making him feel an unexpected surge of boldness.

Under the night sky, as the gentle breeze swept through, Heeseung found himself captivated by the moment. The weight of his emotions and the intensity of his connection with you compelled him to embrace the vulnerability of the present.

Heeseung's gaze shifted from the stars to your face, his eyes filled with a mix of tenderness and determination. It was as if the night had emboldened him to confront the unspoken feelings that had long resided within his heart.

"I love you," Heeseung confessed, his voice carrying a mix of apprehension and sincerity.

Your eyes widened in surprise, caught off guard by his sudden declaration. Initially, you brushed it off as his casual sentimentality, assuming he was merely in one of those cheesy yet cringe-worthy moods. After all, it was dark outside, and the night had a way of making people more introspective and sentimental.

For Heeseung, it was a rare opportunity to release the weight of his emotions. It was the only moment he could unburden himself, knowing that you wouldn't suspect anything beyond a platonic exchange. It was his chance to express his true feelings without you realizing the depth of his affection.

You smiled, patting him gently on the back and reciprocating his words with a lighthearted tone. "I love you too, Heeseung."

But within Heeseung, a bittersweet sensation lingered. Why did your response feel so effortless, devoid of any romantic intentions? Why did those words, which he had longed to hear, now taste somewhat bitter?

He had always imagined that such sweet words, exchanged between two people in love, would bring joy and contentment. But instead, they evoked a sense of unease within him—a mixture of guilt and confusion.

"Are you okay, Hee?" you asked, concern evident in your voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry," Heeseung replied, offering a small smile to conceal the turmoil he felt inside. It was another lie slipping effortlessly from his lips, mirroring the ease with which you had spoken those words to him.

At that moment, Heeseung realized that you both shared something in common. The ability to utter those words without fully grasping their weight or the impact they carried. And perhaps, in that shared understanding, he found solace, alleviating some of the guilt that had consumed him.

EIGHT.

"It's been six months. College application responses are starting to come back, and it's making this whole month nerve-wracking," you confessed to Heeseung, your voice filled with anxiety. Once again, Beomgyu wasn't present, despite his promises. At this point, you had learned not to get your hopes up anymore.

"I'm sure your dream school will accept you. Results come out today, right?" Heeseung reassured you, trying to offer you some comfort.

"Yeah, for some schools. But I'm nervous about us not being able to get into the same school," you admitted, your worry palpable.

Heeseung shared the same fear. The thought of being separated from you, especially during such a crucial time in your lives, weighed heavily on his mind. Yet he never wanted to sever ties with you. You had made a promise to always stick together, no matter what obstacles you faced.

"Well, we're all going to pursue different professions, aren't we?" Heeseung reasoned, hoping to ease your concerns.

"I guess... God, it's almost time," you muttered, feeling the tension build as the moment of truth approached.

"Do you want to check alone?" you asked, contemplating whether you should face the results on your own.

"We can check our emails together to see if we get a response back," Heeseung suggested, offering to share the moment with you.

"That sounds good. Let's sit outside," you agreed, seeking solace in the open air.

"Heeseung, it's telling me to check my portal. Oh my god!" you exclaimed, feeling a surge of panic as you settled down.

Heeseung, who hadn't received any notification, calmly replied, "Oh, I didn't get anything yet. Just go check."

Nervously, you took a deep breath, your palms sweaty and your legs trembling. This was your dream school, and the anticipation was almost unbearable.

"Okay, I'm logging in," you announced, mustering the courage to face the outcome.

You entered your login information, your heart pounding with each key pressed. Heeseung watched you intently, sharing your anxiety even though his own fate was yet to be revealed.

As the webpage loaded, time seemed to slow down. The anticipation was palpable as you navigated to the admissions section. Your eyes scanned the screen, searching for the decisive message that would determine your future.

And there it was—a notification in bold letters, your heart skipping a beat. You clicked on it, and a mixture of relief and joy washed over you as you read the words: "Congratulations! You have been accepted to your dream school."

Tears of happiness welled up in your eyes, and you turned to Heeseung, beaming with excitement. "Heeseung, I got in! I can't believe it!"

Heeseung's face lit up with a genuine smile as he watched you get all excited.

"That's amazing! I knew you would make it. Congratulations!" He exclaimed, pulling you into a tight hug.

"I can't believe it! I got in!" you exclaimed, your eyes gleaming with joy.

“That was all you, YN! I’m so proud of you!” Heeseung beamed, a proud smile spreading across his face.

You couldn't contain your excitement, and a wide grin adorned your face. "Thank you, Heeseung! I'm so grateful for your support throughout this journey."

As the realization of your achievement settled in, you couldn't wait to share the news with your parents. Their pride and joy would only amplify the happiness you were feeling at that moment.

Curiosity filled the air as you turned to Heeseung, eager to know the outcome of his own college application. "Have you received your results yet?"

Heeseung shook his head with a hint of anticipation. "Not yet, but I'm staying hopeful. Now, let's focus on celebrating your success. How about we grab a meal together? It's my treat for your incredible achievement."

Your heart swelled with gratitude, touched by Heeseung's gesture. "That sounds wonderful, Hee! Thank you for always being there for me. I couldn't have done it without you."

As you entered your favorite restaurant, a sense of comfort washed over you. The familiar surroundings and inviting aromas instantly put you at ease. You settled into a cozy booth, ready to indulge in a well-deserved celebration.

Heeseung's words resonated with warmth as he encouraged you: "Order whatever you want, YN. Today is your day, and I want to treat you."

A smile played on your lips, appreciating his generosity and thoughtfulness. "Thank you, Heeseung. You're too kind."

Glancing at the menu, your eyes danced over the delectable options. From savory dishes to mouthwatering desserts, it was a tantalizing array of choices. You couldn't resist the temptation of your all-time favorite dish: savory pasta with creamy sauce and succulent grilled chicken.

"I think I'll go with the pasta," you declared, excitement bubbling in your voice.

Heeseung nodded, his own eyes scanning the menu. "Great choice! I'll have the same.”

While you excused yourself to use the bathroom, Heeseung's attention was drawn to the familiar chime of his phone. He retrieved it from his pocket and glanced at the screen, his heart skipping a beat when he saw the email notification. Curiosity piqued, he opened the email, his eyes scanning the contents anxiously.

As he read the message, a mix of emotions washed over him. The update from one of his chosen schools had arrived, bringing a surge of anticipation and nervousness. He couldn't help but feel a knot forming in his stomach, wondering what awaited him in that email.

With bated breath, he absorbed the words on the screen, his eyes darting across the lines. Time seemed to stand still as he processed the information, his heart pounding in his chest. As the realization sank in, Heeseung's eyes widened with a mix of astonishment and elation. He had been accepted into his dream school, the very place he had yearned to be since he was young. It was an incredible achievement, the culmination of years of hard work and dedication.

However, alongside his joy, a tinge of bittersweetness crept into his heart. The realization hit him that the school he had been accepted to was located in a different country, far away from where you would be pursuing your studies. The paths that once seemed intertwined were now diverging, leading in separate directions.

Heeseung couldn't help but feel a sense of longing and a pang of sadness at the prospect of being physically apart from you. The thought of not sharing the same campus, the same classes, and the same experiences together weighed heavily on his mind.

His mind raced with conflicting thoughts and emotions. On one hand, he was ecstatic about his acceptance and the opportunities that awaited him at his dream school. On the other hand, he grappled with the uncertainty of maintaining your close bond and the fear of growing distant due to the physical distance between you.

Is he just going to have to love you from a distance? Taking a deep breath, Heeseung reminded himself that change was a natural part of life. Sometimes, pursuing one's dreams meant making difficult choices and embracing new chapters, even if it meant temporary separation from loved ones. He knew deep down that both of you had your own unique paths to follow and that growth and new experiences awaited each of you.

As you returned to the table, his eyes met yours, and he mustered a smile, although a hint of sadness lingered behind it. He wanted to cherish every moment and every shared memory and support you in your own journey, even if it meant being physically apart.

As Heeseung observed your radiant smile, he couldn't bring himself to dampen your spirits on such a momentous day. It was your special day, and he wanted nothing more than to see you happy and free from worries. The thought of tears staining your cheeks again, especially after the pain you had endured over Beomgyu, tore at his heart.

He wrestled with his own emotions, torn between the desire to be by your side and the yearning to pursue his own dreams. It was a difficult decision to make, as his departure was never his intention. He had never wanted to leave you or add another departure to the list of loved ones who had left your side. Yet he knew deep down that he couldn't simply give up on his dream.

The opportunity that awaited him at his dream school was something he had longed for and worked tirelessly to achieve. It was a chance to grow, to learn, and to become the best version of himself. Heeseung understood that sacrificing his dream would only breed resentment and regret in the long run.

However, that didn't mean he would abandon you or sever the bond you shared. He made a silent promise to himself that, despite the physical distance, he would always be there for you, supporting you in every way possible.

Now, every time Heeseung catches a glimpse of you smiling, his heart will be torn into pieces. It was a painful reminder that he would soon no longer see you give him that smile. If Beomgyu wasn’t such a piece of trash, he would have something less to worry about.

NINE.

As Heeseung crossed off each day on his calendar with a red marker, a wave of sadness washed over him. It was a constant ache in his heart, a reminder of the remaining days he was going to be able to see you in person.

Whenever you visited and asked about his college acceptances, he would conceal his true feelings and claim that he was simply counting down the days until graduation. The lies weighed heavily on him, but he had become accustomed to masking his emotions from you.

You, on the other hand, were genuinely thrilled for him, believing that he would attend a school near yours. Even if you ended up at different schools, you were confident that your friendship would remain intact, envisioning moments where you could still crash at his place and keep in touch.

If only you knew the truth. If only you knew that a significant amount of time would pass before you would see each other again. It would be a separation so prolonged that the risk of forgetting each other lurked in the shadows. Heeseung couldn't fathom the thought of you slipping from his memory, but he wondered if the same held true for you.

Heeseung grappled with the daunting task of how and when to tell you about his upcoming departure. The weight of his secret pressed heavily upon him, and he knew he couldn't keep it hidden forever. But finding the right moment and method to reveal the truth was a challenge he wrestled with daily.

Should he plan a heart-to-heart conversation, choosing a quiet and intimate setting where he could lay bare his feelings? Or perhaps he should seize a spontaneous moment when emotions were running high and honesty seemed more accessible? Heeseung contemplated the various scenarios, each with its own set of risks and uncertainties.

He wanted to find the perfect balance between timing and your emotional state, ensuring that his revelation wouldn't overshadow any important events or milestones in your life. Heeseung wished for a moment when you could both be fully present, where he could express himself openly without the fear of disrupting the joy and happiness you deserve.

But as days turned into weeks, Heeseung's inner turmoil grew. The weight of his secret intensified, and the fear of losing you became more tangible. He knew that he couldn't delay the inevitable forever, yet the right words eluded him.

It was hard. Harder than he had expected.

But that was okay; he still had more time.

But clearly not enough.

TEN.

"I'm nervous," you chuckled, sitting under the familiar shade of the tree with Heeseung. It has become a regular spot for your daily hangouts, despite already spending so much time together every day.

Heeseung grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Why are you nervous? You've never been nervous around me before."

You shrugged, fidgeting with a blade of grass. "I guess it's just this weird mix of excitement and uncertainty. You know, once school ends, everyone is going to be going their own ways."

Heeseung leaned back against the tree trunk, observing you with a gentle gaze. “Yeah, that’s true. But you know, I've always got your back. Even if we get different professions.”

A faint smile crossed your lips as you appreciated his words of comfort. "Thank you, Heeseung. I'm really grateful to have you as my friend. I knew you would stick around."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," you chuckled, feeling the breeze brush your hair away as you sat on the grass with Heeseung.

What did Heeseung do to deserve you? Heeseung couldn't help but smile at your words, a mix of gratitude and self-doubt swirling within him. He looked at you, the person who had been there for him through thick and thin, the one who had always believed in him and supported him unconditionally.

“I could say the same for you.” Heeseung smiled bitterly, knowing he would soon hurt you, probably more than Beomgyu did.

"Say YN, what if I suddenly left without a word?" Heeseung's voice was filled with a tinge of sadness as he contemplated the question. The weight of his thoughts hung in the air, causing a ripple of unease to pass through you.

"All of a sudden?" You turned to face him, looking into his eyes with genuine concern.

He hesitated, his gaze shifting to the ground. "Yeah. What if?"

"You wouldn't." You stared off into the sky, listening to the birds chirp, as silence enveloped you both.

His heart clenched, feeling the need to break into pieces. Of course he wouldn't, but he had to. He watched as the leaves on the tree above rustled and gently fell, their descent mirroring his swirling emotions. He let out a bitter smile, unable to hide the pain in his eyes.

"Yeah, I wouldn't," he replied, his voice filled with a mixture of resignation and longing.

Your heart skipped a beat, a sudden surge of concern and confusion washing over you. Why did his question and response affect you so deeply? You looked at him, studying his face as the wind tousled his hair, adding a touch of ethereal charm. Your eyes met, and you found yourself momentarily captivated, unable to tear your gaze away.

Heeseung let out a soft laugh, a familiar sound that never failed to warm your heart. You felt a faint blush creeping onto your cheeks, the realization of your own emotions catching you off guard. Could it be possible that you were starting to develop feelings for your best friend? The thought seemed both exhilarating and terrifying, leaving you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions.

But no, you quickly dismissed the idea. It couldn't be. You and Heeseung were best friends and nothing more. The bond you shared was precious, and you were afraid to jeopardize it with romantic complications. It was just a passing moment, a fleeting thought that you would tuck away and bury deep within your heart.

"If you had to, I wouldn't mind. It's not like I could do anything," you continued, your voice tinged with a hint of resignation. "But promise me, Heeseung, promise me that you'll tell me, even if it's just a hypothetical scenario."

Heeseung's heart ached at your words, feeling the weight of your trust and acceptance. How could he break it to you? How could he shatter the harmony of your friendship with the painful truth? He wrestled with his own emotions—a battle between love and self-sacrifice.

"Yeah, of course," he replied, his voice carrying a mixture of longing and sadness. He let out a small sigh, a silent release of the turmoil swirling within him. Heeseung's frustration gnawed at him as he reflected on his missed opportunity to tell you about his impending departure. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had let another chance slip away, leaving him questioning his own hesitation.

"Why is it so hard to tell her?" Heeseung muttered to himself, his voice filled with a mix of disappointment and self-doubt. He knew he had valid reasons for his silence, but the weight of his unspoken truth weighed heavily on his conscience.

As he replayed the scenarios in his mind, he realized that fear had played a significant role in his inability to open up to you. Fear of your reaction, fear of hurting you, and fear of losing the precious bond you shared. It was easier to keep his feelings hidden to spare both of you the pain of saying goodbye.

But now, in the wake of yet another missed opportunity, Heeseung couldn't deny the growing frustration that bubbled within him. He understood that time was slipping away, and with each passing day, the impending separation became more inevitable. The longer he remained silent, the harder it would be to find the right moment to reveal his truth.

He had to let you know.

ELEVEN.

“So you’re telling me that after breaking up with your ex, you started having feelings for your best friend?” Yoon exclaimed over the phone.

You broke up with Beomgyu a week ago, knowing things didn’t work out the way they used to. Since then, you both kept your distance, only seeing each other when you both went to see Heeseung. It was a pain in the ass to see him everywhere, pretending nothing had happened between you two.

“Ugh, don’t say it like that.” You winced, collapsing onto your bed. “As bad as it sounds, yes, I think I did. Ever since that party at Mark’s house.”

“No wonder why Mark’s parties are known to start love,” Yoon said bluntly, not judging you in the slightest. “People have always said that.”

"Please, just stop," you groaned, fully aware of the precarious position you found yourself in. It was undoubtedly a complicated situation.

Despite the awkwardness and confusion, you couldn't deny the undeniable chemistry and connection you shared with Heeseung. It felt like the lines between friendship and something more had blurred, and you were left grappling with newfound emotions and conflicting thoughts.

Yoon's voice softened, understanding the complexity of the situation. "I know it's messy, but sometimes love works in mysterious ways. You can't control who you develop feelings for. Just be honest with yourself and with Heeseung. It may lead to something beautiful."

You sighed, grateful for Yoon's support and advice. “Thanks Yoon, but I don’t want it to be seen like I only said I liked him because I just want to get over him.”

“What if he likes you, though?” Yoon was clearly invested in your love life.

“No way—him liking me? Impossible.” You denied. There was no way he liked you for all these years.

“I have seen the heart eyes he gives you. If you weren’t so smitten with your boyfriend, maybe you would’ve seen that.” Yoon chuckled, amused at how obvious you could be.

"I mean, if he likes you and you like him, shouldn't that be easy?" Yoon remarked, her voice laced with a touch of exasperation.

You let out a playful eye roll in response, fully aware of the complexities surrounding your situation. "Come on, Yoon, my ex was our best friend. It's not that simple."

Yoon pondered for a moment before offering her perspective. "Well, maybe you should just tell him. That way, if you ever do start showing interest, he won't feel like he's intruding or being a homewrecker."

A wave of disbelief washed over you. "Yoon, I'm not planning to hit on him! Besides, I'm pretty sure Heeseung already knows about the breakup. We've been avoiding each other lately."

Yoon raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "And how sure are you about that?"

You paused, contemplating her question. "I'd say about 80 percent sure."

Yoon shook her head with a mischievous smile. "Not good enough, my friend. You need to be 100 percent certain."

An exasperated sigh escaped your lips as you playfully scolded her. "Oh, come on, Yoon. Can't you just trust me on this?"

Yoon grinned, refusing to back down. "Trust you? I trust you with a lot of things, but matters of the heart? Not so much."

You couldn't help but chuckle, appreciating Yoon's concern and her unwavering honesty. "Well, thanks for your vote of confidence, Yoon. But for now, let's just focus on our friendship drama, okay?"

Yoon nodded, a glint of mischief still evident in her eyes. "Fine, fine. But mark my words, you better figure out the Heeseung situation soon. Otherwise, I might just have to take matters into my own hands."

You playfully scolded Yoon over the phone, both of you laughing. Deep down, you knew Yoon had a point. The tangled web of emotions and unspoken desires between you and Heeseung couldn't be ignored forever. Just not right now.

It just might take a while for you to actually confess.

TWELVE.

Walking home together, you soon arrived at Heeseung's house. "Alright then, bye Hee! I can't stay over today; sorry about that."

Heeseung chuckled, finding your reaction amusing. "Don't worry about it. There's always a next time, right?"

Always a next time.

"Yeah, always," you replied with a smile, turning around to walk back home. As you made your way, your heart pounded in your chest, its rhythm matching the uncertainty and anticipation that filled your mind.

It was the seventh month of school, and the days seemed to be slipping away faster than either of you could have imagined. You were anxious about starting high school and stepping into a new chapter of your life, while Heeseung was burdened by the weight of when and how he should reveal his upcoming leave.

Heeseung fumbled with his keys, hastily unlocking the door to his house. As he stepped inside, he spotted Sunghoon lounging on the couch, munching on a bag of chips while engrossed in a TV show. “Hey, the least you could do is give me a heads-up when you crash at my place,” Heeseung quipped, his tone half-joking.

Sunghoon shrugged, his mouth full of chips. “Well, you always let YN pop up here almost every day. It seems like plain favoritism to me.”

Rolling his eyes, Heeseung tossed his bag next to the couch and made his way to the sink to wash his hands. “Just drop it, will you?”

Sunghoon continued munching, unfazed. “She’s not here today? I thought she was going to help you pack up. She always helps you out with that kind of stuff.”

Heeseung sighed, running the water over his hands. “No, she’s busy today. And well, I was packing, but I still have about two months left.”

Sunghoon chuckled with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yeah, wait until graduation sneaks up on you and leaves you scrambling to get everything done in time. It’ll be quite the sight to see.”

Heeseung shot his friend a playful glare, water droplets falling from his hands onto the sink. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sunghoon. Really uplifting."

Sunghoon laughed, reaching for another handful of chips. "Hey, it's all part of the experience, my friend. But don't worry; I'm sure you'll manage. Be glad we are both going to the same college.”

Heeseung couldn't help but crack a smile, the banter with Sunghoon easing his worries, if only for a moment. "Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Heeseung settled down next to Sunghoon, helping himself to a handful of chips. "You know, I'm still worried," he admitted, his voice tinged with concern.

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. "Why? What's bothering you now?"

Heeseung sighed, his gaze fixed on the television screen. "I still haven't told YN."

Sunghoon's eyes widened in surprise. "What? You still haven't told her? Why not?"

Heeseung leaned back on the couch, feeling a weight on his shoulders. "I don't know; it just slipped my mind, I guess. I've been so caught up in my own thoughts and worries that I haven't found the right moment to bring it up. It's becoming a problem."

Sunghoon paused for a moment, contemplating his response. "Look, Heeseung, I understand that you want to focus on yourself and your relationship with YN, but keeping something like this from her is not fair to either of you. She deserves to know what's going on, especially if it's something that might impact your future together."

Heeseung nodded, realizing the truth in Sunghoon's words. "You're right. I need to find the right time and place to have that conversation with her. It's just... I'm afraid of how she'll react."

Sunghoon placed a comforting hand on Heeseung's shoulder. "I get it, Hee. It's not easy to have these kinds of conversations, but you owe it to both yourself and YN to be honest and open. Trust in your friendship and the bond you share. She'll understand."

"I'm afraid to tell her in person, though.” Heeseung contemplated Sunghoon's advice, weighing the options in his mind. "You think writing a letter would be better?" he asked, seeking confirmation.

Sunghoon nodded thoughtfully. "Sometimes, putting your thoughts and feelings down on paper can help you express yourself more clearly. It also gives the other person time to process the information without feeling put on the spot. If you feel more comfortable expressing yourself through a letter, then go for it. The most important thing is that you find a way to communicate with YN honestly and openly."

Heeseung sighed, relieved to have Sunghoon's support. "I think you're right. Writing a letter will give me the chance to carefully choose my words and convey everything I want to say. It will also give YN the space to absorb the information and react in her own time."

Sunghoon smiled, his eyes filled with understanding. "I'm here for you, Heeseung. If you ever need someone to talk to or help you through this, I'm just a phone call away."

Heeseung nodded gratefully, appreciating his friend's support. With a renewed sense of purpose, he knew it was time to gather his thoughts and pour his heart out onto paper, hoping that the letter would convey the depth of his emotions and the difficult decision he had to make.

He just hoped he had the time to write about everything he felt.

THIRTEEN.

The two months had swiftly passed, catching Heeseung by surprise. He found himself now adjusting his cap anxiously, eagerly awaiting your arrival. Graduation day had finally arrived, a day he had looked forward to with a mix of excitement and trepidation, knowing that it would mark the beginning of a painful farewell.

Heeseung stood among his classmates, excitement and nervousness buzzing in the air. The graduation ceremony was about to begin, and he couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions coursing through him. The cap on his head felt oddly heavy, as if carrying the weight of the impending farewell.

As he glanced around, his eyes searched for you in the crowd. He knew you would be there, a constant presence throughout his high school journey. But today, it held a bittersweet significance. It marked the beginning of a new chapter in both of your lives, one that would take you on separate paths.

The minutes ticked by, and anticipation grew with each passing second. Heeseung's mind wandered, replaying the memories of your time together. The laughter, the tears, the shared secrets, and the unspoken bond between you. He couldn't help but wonder how things would change after today.

Suddenly, he spotted you in the distance, making your way through the crowd. His heart skipped a beat as you drew closer, your smile lighting up the room. Heeseung's gaze never wavered from you, his emotions swirling within him.

As you approached Heeseung, you noticed the slight tension in his expression. You reached out and gently squeezed his hand, offering him a reassuring smile.

"Hey, Hee, are you ready for this?" You asked, trying to break the tension.

Heeseung looked at you, his gaze filled with a mix of emotions. "Yeah, I am. It's just... bittersweet, you know? Graduation marks the end of an era for us."

You nodded understandingly. "I know what you mean. It's hard to believe that after today, things will change. But hey, we've always managed to stick together through everything. I’m sure we will be able to do that again when we are in college.”

Heeseung's hand held onto yours, his grip growing tighter. He felt a lump form in his throat, and the urge to let his emotions spill over threatened to overcome him. He desperately wished he could make you a promise, but the weight of an impending goodbye weighed heavily on his heart. He turned away, blinking rapidly, hoping to conceal the tears welling up in his eyes.

But you saw right through his facade, your intuition picking up on the hidden emotions he tried to hide. Your heart ached at the sight of his struggle, realizing the depth of his fear and the significance of your connection. The thought of losing someone as dear to you as Heeseung was unfathomable. The bond you shared was precious and irreplaceable. Who would ever wish for that?

Before you could offer your comfort to Heeseung, the commencement speaker took the stage, commanding the attention of the hushed crowd. Your hand remained firmly in his, a simple gesture of support that spoke volumes. Both of you turned your focus towards the front, listening intently to the words being spoken.

The speaker's voice filled the air, carrying a sense of inspiration and reflection. They spoke about the accomplishments of the graduating class, the challenges faced, and the bright futures that lay ahead. It was a moment of celebration and reflection, marking the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

As the speech continued, you stole a glance at Heeseung, taking in the mixture of emotions on his face. There was pride, tinged with sadness, as if he were already experiencing the weight of parting ways. You squeezed his hand gently, a silent reassurance that you were there beside him.

The speaker's words began to blur into the background as your mind wandered, reflecting on the journey you and Heeseung had taken together. From the countless memories shared to the unspoken understanding between you, your friendship has grown into something truly special.

As you sat there, surrounded by the buzz of graduation, your mind began to wander back to the memories you shared with Heeseung. The moments in class, the times you hung out, the events you attended together—they all flooded back, painting a vivid picture of your time together.

Each memory was intertwined with Heeseung's presence; his infectious smile and laughter were etched into every scene. The way his eyes crinkled into crescents when he laughed—that heavenly sound that never failed to bring warmth to your heart. It was in those moments that you realized something had shifted within you.

Fuck, you fell in deep. A surge of realization washed over you as you came to terms with your feelings. Maybe it wasn't just a passing fondness or friendship. Maybe, deep down, you have always liked Heeseung more than you realize. Perhaps it was hidden beneath the surface, waiting for the right time to reveal itself.

The thought of liking him, not just a little but a lot, was both exhilarating and terrifying. You couldn't deny the flutter of your heart whenever he was near, the way your smile widened when he was happy, or the pang of longing when you were apart. It all makes sense now.

How had you missed it before? Perhaps you had been too caught up in the comfort of your friendship, too afraid to acknowledge the possibility of something more. But now, as the truth unfolded before you, you couldn't ignore the depth of your feelings any longer.

As the ceremony continued, the realization settled within you, filling you with a mix of excitement and nervousness. Graduation marked not only the end of high school but also the beginning of a new chapter in your relationship with Heeseung. The question remained: would you have the courage to explore these newfound feelings and share them with him?

The answer was uncertain, but one thing was clear: the bond you shared with Heeseung was special, and it was worth exploring the possibility of something more. Graduation had become more than just a farewell; it had become a turning point, a chance to embrace the unknown and discover the depth of your connection with Heeseung.

With renewed determination and a sense of anticipation, you turned your attention back to the ceremony. As the crowd erupted into applause and the ceremony reached its climax, you couldn't help but steal a glance at Heeseung. His eyes met yours, and in that moment, you knew that whatever the future held, your feelings would guide you towards a path of truth and authenticity.

As the crowd erupted in cheers and applause, you joined your fellow graduates in turning your tassels, symbolizing the culmination of your high school journey. The air was filled with excitement and joy, and in that moment, everything seemed perfect.

But amidst the celebratory chaos, Heeseung's laughter pierced through the noise, drawing your attention. You turned, and there it was—the smile you adored, the one that never failed to make your heart skip a beat. His eyes met yours, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of emotion well up within you.

There was a tenderness in his gaze and a depth of affection that spoke volumes. It wasn't just your imagination playing tricks on you; he was looking at you with love in his eyes. The realization hit you like a wave, and a mixture of disbelief, hope, and overwhelming emotion washed over you.

Heeseung's tear-filled eyes mirrored your own, as if both of you were sharing an unspoken understanding. Heeseung's tears took you by surprise, and your heart ached at the sight of his distress. Concerned and wanting to offer solace, you closed the distance between you, gently placing a hand on his trembling shoulder.

"Don't cry, Hee," you whispered softly, your voice filled with genuine care. "Please, tell me why you're crying. What's wrong?"

Heeseung took a deep breath, trying to compose himself as he looked into your eyes. His voice quivered as he spoke: “It’s nothing, just us leaving high school.”

“Are you sure?” you asked worriedly, thinking there was more to it.

“I’m sure,” Heeseung whispered, his eyes slightly reddened. He reached out to retrieve something from his seat, clutching an envelope in his trembling hand.

"Promise me you'll wait a week before opening this, okay?" he pleaded.

"A whole week?" you questioned, a hint of impatience in your voice.

"I understand it feels like an eternity, but please trust me," he implored, his voice laced with sincerity.

Heeseung's request piqued your curiosity, and you nodded, agreeing to his peculiar condition. You took the envelope from his hand, holding it delicately between your fingers.

"I promise," you replied softly, your voice filled with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. "I'll wait a week before opening it."

Heeseung offered you a faint smile, his eyes still glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you, YN. It means a lot to me."

Heeseung extended his arms, inviting you into a warm embrace that felt both comforting and bittersweet. He held you tightly, as if trying to etch the memory of this embrace deep into his being. You reciprocated, wrapping your arms around his waist and matching the rhythm of his heartbeat with your own. In that moment, your connection felt unbreakable, and the world around you faded away.

You two finally graduated from high school and are off to start your new journeys in life.

FOURTEEN.

As each day passed, the presence of the unopened letter weighed heavily on your mind. Despite being occupied with new hobbies and family time, curiosity about its contents lingered in the back of your mind. Heeseung's absence during this time only fueled your anticipation, as you wondered what could be so important that he asked you to wait for a week before opening it. With each passing day, the envelope seemed to stare at you, silently urging you to unravel its mysteries.

After an entire week of anticipation, the time had come to open the letter. Excitement surged through your veins as you hurriedly made your way to your room, a sense of eagerness driving you forward. You located the envelope you had carefully stowed away in your drawer and settled yourself into a seat.

With a mix of excitement and nervousness, you took a deep breath and gently tore open the envelope, savoring the moment of anticipation. The sound of the paper crinkling echoed in the room, and you carefully extracted the contents from within. Your hands trembled slightly as you unfolded the letter, your eyes scanning the words written on the page.

Hi YN ^^ !

This is Heeseung after a week! I hope you waited patiently, just as you always do. I know you keep your promises, so I had faith in you. If you did wait, as I believe you did, thank you so much. Now, let me get straight to the point, as I know you prefer it that way.

First and foremost, I want to apologize. Writing this letter is challenging, but expressing my feelings this way feels easier than doing it in person. You hold a special place in my heart, and I felt it was crucial to share this with you. I trust you would have appreciated that. So…

YN, I like you. More than just a little, it could even be considered love. I have loved you from the very beginning. However, Beomgyu was fortunate enough to be the one by your side, taking away any chance I had. It hurt, but seeing your happiness with him eased some of the pain. Please don't blame yourself, as you had no way of knowing.

All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, even if it meant I would remain in the background. So what if I was just your best friend? It didn't matter, as long as I could see you smile. When he hurt you, it made it even more difficult for me to confess my feelings.

I had intended to tell you earlier, ever since Mark's party. Did you notice the hints of 'I love you'? Because I do, I really do. It was my attempt to confess—it didn’t work out as you didn’t pick up on it.

If feelings weren't already complicated enough, my college situation adds to the frustration. I have been accepted to a different school than yours. I'm sure you're aware of that, but there are some things you don't know. I got into one of my dream schools, but it's located out of state. This means I won't be able to see you ever again. Not for now, at least.

I'm sorry for dropping this news on you suddenly and for not telling you sooner. I didn't know how to, and I despise seeing you sad. Losing Beomgyu made it even harder for me to bring it up. So I kept it to myself, which eventually backfired.

I find it frustrating that I have to express myself through this letter rather than in person. I know I may come to regret this decision, but it's too late to turn back now.

By the time you read this, I will already be at the airport, ready to depart. If you're lucky, you might catch a glimpse of me, although I doubt it. I anticipate being too busy to stay in touch through texts or calls, which only adds to the complexity of my situation. So, I must bid you farewell with these words. Goodbye, YN.

Please remember to keep yourself happy and never let that radiant smile disappear. It pains me to see you without it. And always remember: I will never forget you. That is a promise I will keep. Please don't forget me either, okay?

YN, I'm sorry that we couldn't fulfill our promises. I hope that our paths will cross again in a few years. If you decide to stay here, I will do my best to return to you.

Thank you for everything. Know that I love you, my YN.

— Heeseung, your loser.

As you read the final part of the letter, panic welled up inside you, and your eyes began to well up with tears. He was leaving you? Now?

You couldn't believe that he had shouldered all of this alone for so long. The thought of him suffering in silence while seeing you with your ex filled you with regret.

You berated yourself for not realizing his feelings sooner, but there was no time for self-blame now. Without wasting another second, you rushed downstairs, determined to reach the airport as quickly as possible.

You had to reach him before it was too late.

You had to say goodbye properly, at least.

FIFTEEN.

With a racing heart and a sense of urgency, you dashed out of your house and into the bustling streets. The minutes felt like hours as you navigated through the crowded sidewalks, desperately trying to reach the airport. Your mind was consumed with thoughts of finding Heeseung before it was too late.

The airport loomed in the distance, and you pushed yourself to run faster, your breath becoming ragged. Sweating and panting, you hurried through the entrance, scanning the bustling terminal for any sign of Heeseung. The sea of unfamiliar faces only heightened your anxiety.

Frantically, you approached airport personnel, trying to inquire about departing flights and destinations. Time seemed to slip away, with each passing second intensifying your fear of missing him. You searched for any information that could lead you to Heeseung's departure gate, hoping to catch a glimpse of him before it was too late.

Finally, a helpful staff member directed you to the correct gate. With renewed determination, you weaved through the crowd, your eyes scanning every face, hoping to spot him among the travelers. The sound of boarding announcements echoed through the air, adding to the urgency of your mission.

As you reached the gate, your heart sank as you realized the boarding process was already underway. You desperately looked around, searching for a familiar figure and praying that you hadn't missed him. Time seemed to slow down, and your breath caught in your throat.

And then, just as you were about to lose hope, you spotted him. Heeseung stood near the gate, his gaze fixed on the departure screen. Relief washed over you, and you called out his name, your voice filled with a mix of emotions.

"Heeseung!" you exclaimed, your voice trembling with both relief and urgency.

He turned, a mix of surprise and joy flickering across his face as he saw you. "YN? What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice laced with a mixture of disbelief and hope.

You rushed forward, breathless and overwhelmed. "I couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye," you said, your voice filled with determination. "I had to find you."

A flicker of emotion danced in Heeseung's eyes as he took a step closer. "But I thought... I thought you read my letter."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you shook your head. "I did, but I couldn't just let you go without trying. I can't bear the thought of losing you."

Heeseung's expression softened, and he looked at you, tearing up. “I’m sorry, YN,” he whispered, feeling himself getting closer to you. “I never wanted to leave, but I had to. You’ll find someone better.”

"There's no one else who compares to you. I can't believe it took me this long to realize it, but Heeseung, I like you too, a lot."

"But aren't you still with Beomgyu?"

"No, we actually broke up a while ago. It's just you and me now, Hee. I've had some time to reflect, and I've come to realize that my feelings for you have always been there. I truly mean it. Do you still feel the same way?"

Heeseung felt a surge of relief hearing your response. Part of him wanted to say yes immediately, but another part held him back. He didn't want to rush into anything and risk hurting you. He needed time for himself.

Your words hung in the air, and he looked into your eyes with a mix of emotions. "YN, I appreciate your honesty and the courage it took to tell me how you feel. I do care deeply about you, and that hasn't changed. But with everything going on right now—my college plans, the uncertainty of the future—I want to take some time for myself before committing to a relationship."

Confusion and disappointment clouded your expression. "So, you're saying you don't want to be with me?" You asked, your voice quivering with a tinge of sadness and hurt.

Heeseung reached out, gently cupping your face with his hand. "No, that's not what I'm saying, YN. Please understand that it's not about not wanting to be with you. I do love you very much, but I’m scared the long distance wouldn’t work out for us. I want both of us to be ready for this.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you processed his words. "I understand, Heeseung. I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for. But please know that my feelings for you are genuine, and I hope that in the future, when the time is right, we can be together."

Heeseung tightened his grip on your hand, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Thank you for your understanding, YN. You mean the world to me.”

Heeseung's voice trembled slightly as he spoke, his eyes fixated on the sign of his imminent departure. "Could we share one last hug before I go?" His words were laced with a bittersweet longing, and you could hear the hint of pain in his voice.

The weight of his impending absence settled heavily upon you, and your heart ached with a mix of emotions. Tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded, and your own voice choked with emotion. "Yes, Hee... one last hug."

Closing the physical gap between you, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around Heeseung. The embrace was a mixture of comfort and farewell, as if trying to capture the essence of your bond in a single moment.

As you held each other, the weight of impending separation hung in the air. You could feel Heeseung's arms tightening around you, as if he wanted to etch this embrace into his memory. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in that poignant embrace.

His voice cracked with emotion as he whispered, "Thank you for being here with me, even until the very end."

Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over, as you held onto him just a little tighter. The realization that he would soon be gone made each second feel precious and fleeting.

You found solace in the warmth of the hug and the silent understanding that flowed between you. It was a silent exchange of love, support, and the acknowledgment that distance could never diminish what you shared.

Reluctantly, you released each other, gazing into each other's eyes. The unspoken words and emotions lingered in the air, a testament to the depth of your connection.

As you watched him walk away, the weight of his departure settled on you. But amidst the ache, there was a glimmer of optimism, a belief that this temporary farewell was just a chapter in your story together.

As Heeseung walked away, his mind filled with a whirlwind of emotions, and he felt the need to distract himself from the ache in his heart. Seeking solace in the familiarity of his phone, he decided to clear his inbox before boarding the plane. As he scrolled through his unread emails, one message caught his eye, causing his heart to skip a beat.

His eyes widened in shock as he opened the email, revealing an acceptance letter from your dream school—the very same college that had been his second choice. A mixture of disbelief, astonishment, and a tinge of bitterness washed over him as he read the words on the screen.

Once again, he had a chance he would have taken but missed.

He was too late.

💭 — hey you’ve reached the end 😊

ENHA PERM TAGLIST — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @tnyhees @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @chaewon-slays

LYFAD TAGLIST — @misoxhappy @vizstars @junzwrld @whippedforbeomgyu @rikisly

[alxtiny]

Game Night | Song Mingi x Reader

Synopsis: where mingi teaches you how to play valorant

Pairing: Song Mingi x gn!reader, domestic au

Genre: fluff, crack

Word count: 0.9k

Warnings: none

Notes: this one’s a little rushed but I hope y’all like it

masterlist

You glanced at the computer screen, a mixture of excitement and confusion swirling in your eyes as you stared at the colorful characters and fast-paced action of Valorant. Your boyfriend, Mingi, had been talking about this game for weeks, practically bubbling over with excitement every time a new update was released. Today, you had finally agreed to give it a try, even though you were more of a casual gamer yourself.

"Okay, so first things first," Mingi said, his deep voice full of enthusiasm as he scooted his chair closer to yours. "These are the different characters, or agents, you can choose from. Each has unique abilities."

You nodded, trying to absorb the information as he explained the basics of the game. But truth be told, you were feeling a little overwhelmed. The controls, the abilities, the maps – it was a lot to take in.

"Here, let's start with something simple," Mingi suggested, leaning over to adjust your hand on the mouse. "Move your character using the W, A, S, and D keys. Good. Now, try aiming your crosshair at that target over there. Left-click to shoot."

You followed his instructions, your shots going wide and missing the target completely. Mingi let out a chuckle, a warm sound that made you smile despite your embarrassment.

"I... I think at this rate I might end up shooting at our own teammates," you confessed, a sheepish smile tugging at your lips.

"Don't worry, it's totally normal to struggle at first," he reassured you. "Let me show you something."

Mingi's arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you gently into his lap. Your heart skipped a beat at the sudden proximity, feeling his warmth radiating against your back. He positioned his hands over yours on the mouse and keyboard, guiding your movements with a patience that amazed you.

"See? You're getting the hang of it," he said, his breath tickling your ear as he leaned in to offer guidance. "Now, let's try using one of your agent's abilities."

As he explained the unique abilities of your chosen agent, his deft fingers danced over the keyboard, demonstrating the combinations you needed to use. With each passing moment, you felt your confidence growing. Maybe this game wasn't so intimidating after all.

Time flew by as the two of you played round after round, the evening melted into the night, stars coming out and lighting the sky. You went from struggling to shoot a target to actually getting kills in the game. Mingi's encouragement and guidance were instrumental in your progress, and you were having a blast despite the occasional frustration.

Surprisingly, after a few more rounds, something incredible happened – you managed to beat Mingi in a one-on-one duel. Your character's shot hit him right on target, and the announcer declared you the winner.

You let out a triumphant cheer, unable to contain your excitement. Mingi sat there with a stunned expression, a mix of disbelief and a playful pout gracing his lips. He looked like a kicked puppy, and you couldn't help but burst into laughter at his reaction.

"Hey, no fair!" he protested, his pout deepening as he crossed his arms mockingly. "I've been playing this game for months, and you beat me in one night?"

You leaned over, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. "It's just beginner's luck, Mingi. Plus, I had an amazing teacher."

He let out a dramatic sigh, still maintaining the pout. "It took me so long to learn and be good at this game, and you just come along and steal my victory."

You grinned, cupping his cheeks and turning his face toward you. "Well, you know what they say about student surpassing the master, right?"

He huffed, but his pout was slowly turning into a smile. "Is that so?"

You leaned in, your lips brushing against his in a sweet, tender kiss. "Don't worry, Mingi. I might have beaten you in a game, but you're still the best teacher and the most amazing boyfriend."

His pout finally gave way to a smile, and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a warm hug. "You're too good for me, you know that?"

You laughed, nuzzling into his chest. "And you're too silly for words."

His smile widened, and a mischievous glint sparkled in his eyes. "Oh, is that so? Well, if I'm so silly…"

Before you could react, he started to tickle you mercilessly, his fingers floating over your sides and under your arms. Laughter erupted from your lips as you squirmed in his lap, trying to escape his playful onslaught.

"Okay, okay, I give up!" you gasped between giggles, breathless from the tickling.

Mingi finally relented, a triumphant grin on his face. "That's what I thought. No one can out-silly me."

You rolled your eyes affectionately, your heart full of warmth and love for this playful and wonderful man, as you snuggled deeper into his embrace.

© alxtiny . Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost, or use my works on any platform in any way.

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DISCLAIMER: THIS IS PURE FICTION AND NOT RELATED TO THE MEMBERS OF ATEEZ IN REAL LIFE PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

Taglist: @sushi0517

[artbyblastweave]

You ever hear of the TV tropes term capepunk (full disclosure I kinda hate it, but given this is your wheelhouse I kind of wanted to know if you knew it)?

Familiar with it. It's an attempt to slot superhero fiction into what that site refers to as the "punk punk" lineage- cyberpunk, steampunk dieselpunk, atompunk, desert punk, clock punk, cassette punk, dungeon punk, etceterapunk.

I don't think it's completely useless. Almost everything on that list, no matter how niche, is gesturing at a genuine recurring aesthetic in genre fiction, and in the same way that steampunk in the original context is a mediation on existing science fiction that excludes the source texts of Jules Verne or HG Wells, Capepunk can be understood as superhero fiction that mediates on superhero fiction while excluding the "traditional" big-two comics canon. Or, in the sense that "Steampunk" or "Dieselpunk" and so on are often used to gesture at science-fiction worlds that adopt the aesthetics of specific decades wholesale, you can use Cape Punk to denote worlds where the worldbuilding is heavily rooted in the traditional aesthetics of superheroism. And every once in a while, you get someone who remembers the original context of the "-punk" suffix in cyberpunk as denoting a rebel against some flavor of sci-fi dystopic cultural hegemony, with "steampunk" having been developed to demonstrate that the aesthetics and sci-fi elements of cyberpunk were fungible but the underlying power dynamics were not. Through that lens, you can't throw a rock without hitting a mediation on the power dynamics of superhero fiction.

The hitch, of course, is that the Cape Punk entry on TvTropes contains basically every single superhero work you've ever heard of that isn't a big-two comic, and several big-two comics besides, and the MCU, and if your subgenre can so easily be deformed to include basically the entire genre outside some comics that no one reads, at a certain point you might be better off just calling a specific work "post-modern" so you don't get bogged down in taxonomic trench warfare. You can use it to broadly gesture, but at some point somebody is going to ask you to actually point with your finger

[hecate-editing]

Making Characters That Make Sense

Walk-through character template & "how to" guide for writing complex, original protagonists.

If you google "character templates for writing", you'll get a lot of very basic examples that read like a grocery list: eye colour, hair colour, skin colour, positive traits, negative traits, etc.

And sure, filling out this kind of template isn't completely useless - but it's also not particularly useful, either. Choosing whether your protagonist has blue eyes or green eyes isn't going to determine whether readers connect with them or not.

Instead, I prefer to use the below template:

There's some fairly left-of-centre categories here, so in this blog post I'll be creating a character from scratch to demonstrate what each section means and how to use the template effectively.

Primary Goal & Raison D'Être

Fantasy Romance is having a bit of a tournament-to-the-death moment right now, with Hunger Games-inspired stories like Fourth Wing, Throne of Glass, The Savior's Champion, and The Serpent and the Wings of Night in high demand - so that's what we're going to work with in today's blog post.

The story premise and primary goal of the protagonist are almost always interconnected. In this case, the story premise is a tournament to the death - and the character's main goal is to win that tournament, obviously.

But where there's room for some originality is in the raison d'être. This loosely translates to "reason for being" or "purpose". It's the why of it.

For example: what motivated this character to risk their life by entering such a tournament in the first place?

It is sometimes helpful to look at similar stories when thinking about this category. Not so you can copy their protagonist's motivations - but so you can do something different.

The whole selfless-self-sacrifice thing, for example - that's done. At least in relation to this particular sub-genre. We can do better for our hypothetical Maera Mystfang character.

Actually, let's really turn the trope on its head and make her raison d'être incredibly self-centred.

Already, this is character is shaping up to be something a little bit different within the niche of tournaments to the death. Which goes to show how putting a little bit of thought can go a long way, even with something as simple as identifying your character's initial purpose.

Primary Obstacle

Every protagonist needs a goal - and every goal needs an obstacle. This is what gives the story some tension and keeps readers turning the page.

An obvious choice of obstacle for this hypothetical character, since we're dealing with a fantasy romance, would be that Maera starts to develop feelings for one of her fellow competitors.

This concept has definitely been done, but that's okay. Not every section of this list has to break the mould. Tropes exist for a reason and it is totally okay to lean into them sometimes.

However, just for funsies, I'm going to try and put a slightly different spin on this one too.

Instead of the obvious "I love one of the people I'm meant to kill", let's make Maera's (previously dormant) conscience be the problem. Her reasons for entering the tournament may have been self-motivated, but as she gets to know her fellow competitors - admires some of them, even - she starts to second guess those reasons.

Core Traits

A lot of character templates will divide personality traits into positives and negatives - but I don't think this is particularly helpful. It is far too one dimensional - not to mention unrealistic. The key components of someone's personality aren't usually so black and white.

In fact, most core traits are both good and bad at the same time - it just depends on the context.

Instead of being wholly positive or negative, try to think of three core character traits that can serve as two sides of the same coin, with both positive and negative implications to each.

For Maera, I've given her these core traits:

Self-reliant;

Rebellious; and

Good-humoured.

Her self-reliance means that she is incredibly capable - but it's also the cause of her selfishness. She's always had to look after herself, so she expects others to do the same.

Her rebellious attitude means she isn't willing to accept the status quo. But at times she is also a rebel without a cause, causing trouble just for the fun of it.

Her good sense of humour means she is fun to be around, but she also tends to not take things as seriously as she should.

Thinking of core traits in this multi-faceted way not only adds realistic complexity, but it also sets you up well for showcasing character development and growth throughout the story.

Fatal Flaw & Character Arc / Growth

You've probably read negative reviews that throw around terms like "Mary Sue" or "Gary Stu". People tend to be over-zealous with these terms, especially for Mary Sue, but the gist of it is that the character in question is "too perfect".

They're the chosen one, they're good at everything, all the boys like them, etc.

Some characters can get away with this just fine. Look at Aragorn. He's the ultimate Gary Stu but I still swoon every time he opens those damn doors. You know the scene I'm talking about.

Ooft.

But for the most part, you want to incorporate a fatal flaw into your protagonists - because this is what gives them room to grow.

And, no. "I was born to be King but I don't wanna" does not count as a fatal flaw.

Instead, think bigger. Think worse. Think about where your character starts versus where you want them to end up. Think about how you want the events of the narrative to change their world view - or even their initial goal.

For Maera, her fatal flaw is pretty obvious, given her initial motivations for entering the tournament. Similarly, her growth/arc is linked to her primary obstacle, which is developing a conscious.

Her journey throughout this hypothetical story might be learning to appreciate how her past shaped her, while also acknowledging that there are things she can do to ensure others don't have to go through what she did. By being shown acts of kindness, she learns to appreciate their value.

First Impression

Now that we've covered all the "big picture" stuff, let's get into some of the smaller details that give your character some texture.

The first impression category is a hypothetical exercise where you image how your character might appear to a room full of strangers. In dual, multi, or omniscient POVs, you might even get the opportunity to include this impression somewhere in the story.

But even for first-person narratives, it is still worth thinking about, because it will help to inform how other characters interact and respond to your protagonist (at least at first).

For Maera, I've written this first impression as: a fun person to have a few drinks with - so long as you keep a close eye on your wallet.

From this description, we can guess that Maera probably likes to have a good time, but also comes across as untrustworthy. Whether that impression is deserved or not is up to you, as the author, to decide.

There's also a lot of deeper directions you can take this first impression category, too. Like if most people react to Maera this way, but one particular character doesn't, then your readers are going to sit up and pay extra attention during that interaction. Especially when that person reacting atypically is the future love interest.

Spirit Animal

Ah, this one is a fun one!

I always encourage my authors to assign a "spirit animal" to their characters - especially when they're doing multi-POV.

There are two main reasons for this:

It will allow you to assign some very distinct adjectives and verbs with that particular character; and

It is an opportunity to flesh out some additional character traits beyond the core traits.

For Maera, I've chosen "spider" because she is solitary by nature, opportunistic, and patient.

But, more than that, I also like the idea of Maera being the kind of person who knows how to watch and wait. While her first impression might be "here for the good times", her joking façade is actually a mask she wears while carefully observing others.

For example:

Her words were laced with venom. She crawled her way across the rooftop. At some point, weaving lies had become more of a past time that a necessity. Her thoughts were a tangled mess. She didn't bother to conceal her predatory gaze. Inch by cautious inch, she crept forward. Her sanity was already hanging by a thread. If there was one thing she knew how to do, it was spin a good story - truth be damned.

I've never outright compared Maera to a spider in these examples, nor have I made it blatantly obvious that that's what I'm doing. But by peppering these kinds or words throughout the story, I'll be able to subtly create a very distinct kind of impression for her character.

For comparison's sake, let's assign "cat" to the love interest. Examples of possible words to consider in this instance might be:

He clawed his way through the bushes. "What are you doing?" he hissed. The comment had some bite to it, that was for sure. He slunk away into the darkness. His still, unwavering focus was unnerving. He prowled towards her. In a few quick, agile steps, he'd made it across the parapet. He yawned and stretched out beside her.

Of course, not every single word you use in association with a character needs to be related to their spirit animal. But keeping a certain type of animal in mind - and finding opportunities to throw in some subtle messaging through language choice - can be beneficial on so many levels.

It helps to distinguish your characters from one another through the kind of language you use to describe them - but it's also just really, really fun way to add some bonus texture to your characters. Giving your readers some little easter eggs like this is never a bad thing.

Love Language

If you're unfamiliar with the concept of the five basic love languages, then here's a quick visual overview:

Love languages aren't a consideration that's specific to romance. They're important for friendships and familial relationships too.

Because thinking about what your protagonist values most in love is going to tell you a lot about who they are. Especially when you take the question deeper and think about why this is something they value.

For Maera, I've chosen "Acts of Service" because this ties in quite well to her character arc.

In terms of Maera's why, I could easily go with "because this was how she was shown love as a child" - and this is a good enough option most of the time. However, since her love language is very much tied into growing out of her fatal flaw, then I actually want to do the opposite.

Maera winds up valuing acts of service because this is something she craved - and wasn't given - as a child. She had to do things the hard way instead. Hence why she ends up appreciating the kindness of others so much. Such generosity is new to her - and precious.

Conflict Response

This is potentially one of the most overlooked character components. Conflict and tension is central to story telling, yet there is so little attention given to creating authentic, original responses to conflict.

The way I see it, there are three main considerations in regards to conflict response:

How your character reacts in the moment;

The unhealthy methods they use to deal with the aftermath; and

The healthy methods they use (or discover) to self-sooth.

When faced with conflict, Maera's immediate reaction is to antagonise. She doesn't like to back down and enjoys creating trouble.

However, in the aftermath, the conflict affects her more than she lets on. She stews on it - and her solution to that is to get drunk until she can forget about it completely.

But even though she sometimes forgets it, Maera has a more healthy coping mechanism at her disposal. When she is surrounded by nature - in the forest, by the sea, whatever - it calms her.

In addition to identifying your protagonist's various responses to conflict, it is also helpful to think about why. Again, this is a great opportunity to insert something unique into their character backstory.

With Maera, for example, let's think about why she finds nature so soothing. Perhaps, amidst a very bleak childhood, one of her fondest memories is of picking grapes in a vineyard.

Perhaps the elderly woman who owned the vineyard was very rude and abrupt - but also quite kind to Maera in her own way. Maybe she would sometimes stitch up Maera's clothes or feed Maera a hearty, meaty dinner - even though she didn't have to.

If you're struggling to think of a real, tangible, unique memory such as this - then it's always helpful to go back to the old classic of write what you know. Think of a real life moment or memory - something that's stuck with you, no matter how simple - then adapt it to your character.

To create this vineyard example, I simply drew on my experience of picking strawberries with my Nonna after school.

Mentor / Idol

I could write an entire thesis on mentors. Or, more specifically, the "death of the mentor" trope - both in its literal and metaphorical interpretations.

But, for the sake of brevity, let's save that sh*t for another time and focus on what's important for a basic (yet complex) character template. And that is:

The Formative Mentor (past); and

Transformative Mentor (present).

The formative mentor (or idol) is someone who influenced your character prior to the events of the novel. Sometimes they're a character the reader will meet, or other times, they're long gone before the novel even begins.

The transformative mentor is a much looser term. It doesn't necessarily have to be a traditional mentor character, but rather it is a character who heavily influences or changes your protagonist throughout the events of the novel.

For Maera, I want her earliest idol to be a random female sell-sword who she crossed paths with. Prior to meeting this sell-sword, Maera was living without hope for a future, surviving on scraps and petty crime.

But after seeing an independent and moderately wealthy sell-sword in her local tavern, Maera got a glimpse into the kind of life that might be possible if she learned to fight. With the right kind of skills, she might be able to earn some decent money for a change - and travel the world.

This is an example of how "mentors" don't always have to be a wise wizard who oversees your protagonist's training and education. Young minds are impressionable - and even distant figures can have a lasting impact.

Just look at all the women who cite Legally Blonde as the reason why they were drawn to law. Elle Woods wasn't even real - but for plenty of young girls, she made an impact.

Similarly, your protagonist's "present" mentor or idol doesn't necessarily have to be a wise wizard either. It can simply be someone who motivates them to change their world view or strive to be better.

In romance, it is more than acceptable to have the present mentor coincide with the love interest - especially in standalone enemies-to-lovers. I know this seems counter-intuitive, since the word "mentor" implies a power imbalance, but it makes more sense if you readjust your definition of mentor to be "inspires change".

However, for Maera, I kind of like the idea of pairing her up with a love interest who shares some of her flaws. I vibe with the idea of making him a bit self-interested too, although for different reasons.

So in her example, I've listed the present mentor as a selfless secondary character. The way I would envision this going is Maera and the love interest team up early on - but somewhere along the way a secondary character saves them both. They're both heavily influenced by this character before this character sacrifices themselves. The aftermath of this incident rattles both Maera and her love interest, and serves as the spark for growth.

I hope you found this template - and very long explanation - useful!

[kurolovesricky]

Skinny Vs Thicc/S-line Vs BBW (ZB1 Edition)

i feel like I've never seen anything like this before and I felt the need to make a new genre🫢, purely based off of vibes, would be funny if their real preferences are the opposite

TW; Suggestive, NSFW, if not legal age yet pls don't read this,

I will be using videos for reference of the bodies before the descriptions , it will be the closest thing I can find to what I'm trying to demonstrate because I can't find much sources, so I'm very sorry if it is not what you imagined, do not compare yourself to these videos as some of them have used filters

(STRICTLY NO YUJIN, HES NOT 20 YET‼️)

If the videos don't work just press the blue writing

Hanbin:

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Probably in between S-Line to bbw, he would just squish parts of your body in enjoyment and I feel like he'd also be spanking them, HE LIKES GETTING CRUSHED IN BETWEEN THICC THIGHS IN GENERAL, you can't tell me he doesn't believe in thicc thighs save lives

Jiwoong:

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MEDIUM IS PREMIUM💪🏻, he likes it as long as it's not too extreme to either side and is proportional, not too much of everything so he doesn't get overwhelmed, so probably in the middle of skinny and Thicc/S-line, leaning more to skinny

Zhanghao:

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I think he's more into skinny girls, but he ALSO STILL LIKES THICC THIGHS, however boobs and ass are too much are too much to handle for him (he gets overwhelmed not that he dislikes it) , he's just fine with them as long as they're healthy😁👆🏻

Matthew:

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I am a firm believer of Matthew thicc ass and thighs enjoyer so he DEFINITELY LIKES THEM EITHER THICC OR BIG (like hanbin, but this time the focus is on ass rather than thighs)

Taerae

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honestly,I think he likes it normal not too extreme as long as it looks proportional, I think he equally loves all the body parts as long as they're healthy🫶🏻, kind of like jiwoong

Ricky

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He likes girls who have big boobs/d-cups and a round ass which is just an S-Line basically (sorry, this is way too personal, I wanted to find some representation in chinese beauty standards😁), he also enjoys thicc thighs, whether it be S-Line or BBW, anything is welcome as long as he has something to squish

Gyuvin:

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I think he's either an S-Line or BBW enjoyer, not sure which one(Could be both), one thing I know for sure is that he definitely likes ass, you could see him literally smacking Ricky and jiwoong's ass a lot😭

Gunwook:

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Ngl I see him liking bigger girls a lot more than all the other members kinda so definitely bbw, I see him cherishing and squishing every part of your body because he loves it so much, same as taerae he doesn't really have a preference for a specific body part, he looks on the overall body

[thydungeongal]

Any tabletop recommendations for broadening your horizons in the medium as someone who's mostly only ever played D&D adjacent stuff? I'm unfortunately one of those people who moved on from D&D's rules but not really its mindset. Show me the world beyond "Band of protagonists wandering around fighting stuff"

I know I must sound like a broken record recommending these games, but Apocalypse World and Monsterhearts are pretty much as far removed from the expectations of D&D. AW is the game that gave us the "Powered by the Apocalypse" (PbtA) framework and despite being the oldest of its type it's a damn fine game.

There's a reason I recommend these two games whenever I recommend PbtAs: most PbtA games tend to just take an adventure game formula and transport it into the PbtA rules framework. Which is like, okay, fine. But Apocalypse World and Monsterhearts are both fantastic games in the sense that they completely break away from the assumption of the player characters forming some "adventuring party."

Apocalypse World I would liken to a game about creating a post-apocalyptic prestige TV show with an ensemble cast with your friends, while Monsterhearts is teenage monster melodrama and all about the messy lives of horny monster teenagers. It is a fantastic game but also kind of dark and heavy, so like that one comes with an asterisk. Don't watch Critical Role play it they basically played it wrong.

If you want something a bit more trad but want to break away from fantasy and monster-killing, I recommend @anim-ttrpgs Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy. It is an extremely crunchy investigative RPG and a great piece of design, and really demonstrates how the medium of tabletop RPGs can be used for expressing many different genres. There's a free demo of it available, but they also have a book club where we read and play different indie RPGs (I'm there as help) if you want to check out indie RPGs with the express purpose of branching outside of D&D-likes, and if you join the book club you can get a much fuller version of the game for free!

[tarisilmarwen]

RobStar Week, Day 7 - Playlist

(Last one! I had fun with this. Set sometime during the Titans' long road trip chasing the Brotherhood of Evil. IDK when exactly but this is an underexplored time period in fanfics so I thought it would be fun to set one in it. And yes, all the songs referenced were on my own ipod RobStar playlist.

Enjoy!)

---

Starfire's taste in music was... eclectic, to say the least.

Her interests ran the gamut from basic pop starlet to the screechiest of death metal bands (which she claimed reminded her of the "great musicians of the Tolothian Praxxus") and, it sometimes seemed, everything in between. She even, somehow, had music from other planets. Robin had absolutely no idea how she had obtained a recording of her favorite childhood Gorka pipes band, nor how she had digitized said recording into MP3 format and gotten it onto the same ipod holding the Becky Wilder TV soundtrack and Rachel Tanner's latest album. Frankly the shuffle felt a little bit like playing Russian Roulette.

So Robin sympathized a little with Beast Boy when the song changed, once again going from one genre to something diametrically opposite, causing the changeling to clutch his temples and throwing his head back with a groan.

"Can't you stick to one genre?!" he complained. "I'm getting whiplash from these mood changes!"

Starfire turned to glare at him where he was squashed in-between Robin and Raven, in the middle of the backseat of the T-car.

"Whoever has shotgun seat decides the music," she reminded him, her voice unusually clipped and irritated. "Those were the rules you set. And I am also the only one who has music in my collection that you all enjoy," she pointed out.

There were mumbled noises from Cyborg and Raven as they conceded some agreement.

Starfire sighed, pushing hair out of her face tiredly as she lifted her ipod, plugged into the T-car's music system via aux cable.

"I only wish this were better organized," she said. "I can never find anything I am looking for in this library. It is impossible to scroll through to the songs I know we can all tolerate." She skimmed down the songlist, the ipod clicking and clicking and clicking as it proceeded down the endless track names.

"Oh that's easy to fix, just make a couple playlists," Cyborg suggested, flexing his hands a bit on the steering wheel as he signaled to begin passing a semi.

Starfire looked up from her scrolling, face an expression of blank confusion.

"A... what?" she asked.

Robin straightened and scooted forward a little bit in his seat. "Here, I'll show you," he offered. He reached between the driver's seat and shotgun with an outstretched palm.

Hesitant but curious, Starfire paused playback on her ipod and disconnected it from the aux cable, handing it over.

Now Robin leaned down, bending almost in half as he searched near his feet, the seatbelt digging sharply into his shoulder. After a moment of fumbling in his bad he slid out his red laptop and propped it open on his knees, also fishing for a USB cord.

Within minutes he had the music player open to Starfire's extensive library and was clicking through artists and genres, trying to tap very carefully on his mousepad with the vibrations of the car. She watched him fiddle for a few moments, eyes inquisitive, hand curling around the side of her seat.

Robin concentrated, his brows pinching cutely until he gave a nod of satisfaction. Turning the computer around he showed her what he was doing.

"Right, so, see here, where I've basically added a folder to the device storage?" he asked, leaning forward, trying to stretch to show her.

Beast Boy held back a complaint as he was pushed against Raven by the gesture. Starfire nodded in rapt attention.

Robin pointed to the screen as he demonstrated. "So you take any song that you want to go on the list and just kind of... drag it over from the wider library."

He clicked and pulled one of the Gorka pipes tracks to the new playlist, then clicked to open it.

Starfire gasped in delight, grabbing up both sides of Robin's laptop and bringing the device up closer to her face.

"Oh this will make things so much easier!" she cried.

Robin smiled and pointed over to the sidebar. "And see how you can name it pretty much anything you want? You can basically put any number of songs on the new list—"

"—And then they can share a common theme!" Starfire interrupted in conclusion.

"Exactly! You can do love songs, songs that make you happy, work-out songs..." Robin started listing.

"Songs to listen to while rocking it out at the club," added Beast Boy.

"Songs to set the mood with your date," Cyborg put in, grinning. "Lotta R&B on mine for that one."

"Ew," Beast Boy said, wrinkling his nose.

Cyborg shot him an offended look. "Don't be hatin' until you try it."

"What about you, Raven?" Starfire asked back, interrupting the brewing argument. "What kind of playlist would you suggest?"

"Songs to make you contemplate the existential dread of the universe and your own role in it and wonder if you really are as small and insignificant as you seem or if you just need a sandwich," came Raven's monotone contribution.

...

There a long awkward silence at that, and the boys blinked at Raven in concern and mild alarm.

"That is... oddly specific," was Starfire's inadequate response.

Raven shrugged. "Are we pulling over soon?" she asked towards the driver's seat. "I'm hungry."

Cyborg glanced at the next billboard. "Shakes n' Steaks coming up on our right?" he offered.

The empath waved dismissively. "Sure."

"Aw man!" Beast Boy complained. "Not the Shakes n' Steaks! You know they put meat chunks in the salads?! Who does that?!"

Robin nudged Starfire's arm as the debate on their food stop continued, whispering under Cyborg and Beast Boy's arguing. "Why don't you keep playing around with that for a while?" he offered kindly.

She nodded once, vigorously, mouthing a 'thank you' as she turned around.

-TT-

One pit stop later—Beast Boy wound up outvoted and sullenly resigned himself to picking chicken bits out of his caesar salad—Starfire finally emerged from her meticulous organizing and dismissed herself to the bathroom.

She unplugged her ipod, but left it on the table by his laptop, easily accessible.

Robin slurped through his straw, his eyes falling across it. He set his cup down and stared at the lit screen, mildly curious.

Glancing around as if to check for unfriendly eyes, Robin let his hand snake over to Starfire's place and slid the ipod into his palm, picking it up surreptitiously.

He paid a quick peek at the new playlists in Starfire's library. Sure enough she had "Tamaran" as a category, and "Dancing Music", and "To Cheer Raven Up" and a couple others. He had to smile and chuckle a bit at that last one.

His amusement was drowned out by confusion as he spotted on that read:

"Me and Robin"

He stared at the title for a long moment, visibly wondering, then his curiosity compelled him beyond his reason and he clicked to open it.

His eyes read off the titles as they scrolled alphabetically, slowly widening with realization.

"All You Wanted", "A Thousand Miles", "A Thousand Years"...

Wait a minute, his brain kicked in.

These were all love songs.

Suddenly feeling like he was doing something he very much shouldn't, Robin quickly set the ipod back down in its former spot, heat rising to his face as he was confronted with the knowledge that Starfire his Not Girlfriend (they still hadn't quite figured that out although after the whole alien planet stranded thing they at least both acknowledged they had feelings for each other) had been picking out songs that she felt defined 'them'.

Like an actual girlfriend would.

Hoo boy he hoped he wasn't going to have to clear up another misunderstanding.

-TT-

He was still nervous while he waited his turn to pile into the backseat, after Cyborg's annoyed, "Yo! If we want to make it to Atlanta before nightfall you better get your butts back in the T-car!" shout had cut short their lunch.

Starfire claimed shotgun again, much to Beast Boy's whining and complaining, but Raven picked him up with her telekinesis and stuffed him into the backseat ahead of her and shut the door, pointedly going around the other side and leaving Robin standing there awkwardly with Starfire.

The princess handed him his laptop back.

"Thank you for the usage of it," she said. "I believe I have arranged things to my liking."

There was something coy in her words, and her grin was a little too... knowing.

Robin coughed and tugged at his collar and rubbed his neck, tapping a steel-toed shoe. "Yeah, well... good. Good, that's... I'm glad."

"All right, enough committee meeting," grumbled Cyborg, ending the moment with a pointed shove to Robin's shoulder. "Get in the damn car, I gotta fill her up."

The moment the door was open Beast Boy popped out again. "At least lemme have the window seat this time!" he yelled, and Robin found himself jostled and bumped as he was shoved none-too-gracefully into the car and squashed into the narrow middle seat, pushed right up against Raven on one side and Beast Boy on the other.

Raven tried to pull her elbows in closer and failed.

"This isn't uncomfortable at all," she said dryly.

Robin had no reply, no real thoughts of any kind really, because as soon as she was comfortably seated and Cyborg was turning the key in the ignition, she looked back straight at him with a wry grin and pressed play on her once-again-connected ipod.

And when the first song off 'their' playlist started, Robin's throat closed with a pitiful embarrassed squeak and he turned a very bright red.

[lostsometime]

WHAT IS THE FIGHT SCENE CONVEYING? (a breakdown of OPLA episode 1)

Fight #1 - Luffy vs. Alvida: 1) Introducing the stretchy thing. If you have somehow tuned in to watch One Piece without knowing that the premise of One Piece is that this kid can stretch, well, good news! Now you know!

2) Establishing that this is fun for Luffy. Luffy is having fun. Luffy is also protecting Koby and shit, but most of all, this is Luffy having a good time. He does not make choices in this fight based on what will end the fight quickly or efficiently, because he does not actually want to end the fight. "Picking a fight with bullies" is one of Luffy's most favorite pastimes and it's important to establish that early on.

Fight #2 - Zoro vs. Mr. 7: 1) The next fight deliberately takes us directly from Luffy and his cartoon character fighting to Zoro, whose fight choreography is more or less plucked out of a samurai movie. It lets us know that the show is going to be doing both those things, and also that Zoro, before meeting Luffy, basically lives in a completely different genre.

2) Unlike Luffy, Zoro ends his fight fast and he ends his fight lethally. This demonstrates how good Zoro is at this, and also that they're going to be killing people, onscreen, in this show - even the good guys. Like, they need to get that out of the way quickly here in episode one - you are going to be cheering for Zoro and also, this man very much does kill people for a living.

Fight #3 - Zoro vs. Everybody In the Bar: If the previous fight was to establish for us how good Zoro is with his swords, this one is to show how he's just as good without them. This sets up the important theme about "only draw your sword if you mean to use it" - which they will call back to later, with Mihawk.

(Side point: Nami very quickly taking advantage of the bar fight chaos to slam the guy's head on the bar and take his shit is a beautiful, succinct illustration of her skill set - she prefers to talk her way into what she wants, but she's always on the lookout for opportunities to take advantage of.)

Fight #4 - Nami vs. Those Two Marines: Expands on that last point - Nami prefers to talk her way out of problems, too - but she's prepared to also hit things with a big stick if that doesn't work out. She's not playing around, and she's not worried about being honorable - as soon as it looks like things are not going to go her way, she's ready to smack some folks in the head and get the fuck out.

Fight #5 - THE BIG ONE: We get our 3 heroes finally working together for the first time! It's thrilling! It's exciting! It's also doing a lot of important character work like

Showing Luffy & Zoro going from getting in each other's way to working together to take down a guy too tough for either of them to take alone. Teamwork! Friendship! MAJOR CHARACTER THEMES!

The very, very smart use of the 3-sword-style. They made such a good call waiting to use that until this moment, honestly. And they managed to choreograph it such the third sword is actually important - even critical! - to the victory. (I mentioned before how that's really fucking hard to do in meatspace for... obvious reasons.)

We see all 3 of them being competent - but it's clear that Luffy and Zoro are enjoying it in a way Nami does not. Nami does not want to be doing this. Luffy and Zoro are sharing a single braincell, and that braincell is saying that fighting an entire base full of marines is a great idea and a really fun way to spend an afternoon!

[bonobonoyaatheart]

Charged - Min Yoongi

Summary : A supposed tutoring session with Yoongi turns out into something else.

Pairing : Yoongi x reader

Genre : Romance

Word count: 799

The college campus buzzed with activity as you stood before Yoongi's dorm room, your heart racing in your chest. You'd often fantasized about being with him, despite your initial indifference. The idea of dating him had taken root in your mind, and now it was time to take a step.

"Hey, Yoongi," you began, your voice betraying a mix of nerves and excitement. "I was wondering if you could help me out with economics. I could use a tutor."

Yoongi's eyes, usually calm and composed, held a flicker of surprise before a small smile formed on his lips. "Economics, huh? Sure, I can help. It's not the most thrilling subject, but I'll make it bearable for you."

A sigh of relief escaped your lips, a genuine smile forming. "Thanks, Yoongi. I really appreciate it."

A few days later, you found yourself sitting across from Yoongi in his dorm room. Textbooks and notes were spread out before you, and he began explaining economic theories with a level of passion that surprised you.

"Let's start with the basics of supply and demand," he said, his voice steady but you noticed a slight tremor in his fingers. "It's like a seesaw – when one side goes up, the other goes down. Balancing act."

As he demonstrated with his hands, his fingers brushed yours, sending a jolt of electricity through you. His nervousness was endearing, and you couldn't help but smile.

"Got it," you replied, your gaze lingering on his fingers a moment too long.

He cleared his throat, seemingly flustered. "Moving on... inflation. It's the gradual increase in prices over time, which reduces the value of your money."

Your attention was torn between the economics lesson and the electric tension between you two. His finger accidentally grazed your hand again, and this time you locked eyes, a knowing smile passing between you.

"Sorry," he mumbled, his cheeks tinted with a hint of pink.

You shook your head, a playful glint in your eyes. "No need to be sorry."

And then came the moment that changed everything. As you leaned back, your foot caught on a chair's leg, and you stumbled. Yoongi's arms instinctively wrapped around you, pulling you close against his chest to prevent you from falling.

The sudden proximity left you breathless, your heart pounding in your ears. His eyes met yours, and in that instant, it was as if the world around you disappeared, leaving only the two of you.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice a low murmur, his breath caressing your skin.

The words stuck in your throat as you found yourself lost in his gaze. "Yeah, I... I'm fine."

But then his eyes flickered to your lips, and your gaze followed his. The air between you was charged, a magnetic pull drawing you closer.

Driven by an undeniable spark, you closed the gap between you. The kiss was ignited with a fiery intensity, a clash of emotions that surged through your veins. His lips met yours with a hunger that mirrored your own, and the world around you faded into oblivion.

His lips moved against yours, a symphony of desire and heat that consumed you both. It was a dance of longing and passion, an unspoken connection that surged between your bodies. The taste of him was electric, and your heart raced in response, matching the rhythm of the kiss.

Your fingers found their way to the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair as you held him close. The tension that had built between you seemed to unravel with every brush of your lips against his, a release of emotions that left you both breathless.

As the kiss deepened, it felt like an unspoken promise, a revelation of the feelings that had been building beneath the surface. Your bodies pressed closer, a mixture of urgency and surrender intertwining. It was a kiss that spoke of uncharted territories, of shared desires that had finally found their outlet.

And then, just as abruptly as it began, the kiss ended, leaving you both gasping for air, lips tingling and hearts racing. Your eyes met, and the charged energy between you was palpable, a potent mixture of longing and understanding.

"Would you... go on a date with me?" he finally asked, his voice laced with vulnerability.

Your heart soared, and a smile broke across your lips. "Yes, Yoongi. I'd love to."

Relief washed over him, a grin spreading across his face. As he pulled you into a tight embrace, the air was thick with anticipation and unspoken promises. And as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow in the room, it marked the beginning of a new chapter – a chapter of shared moments, electric connections, and a fiery love that had been ignited with a single, unforgettable kiss.

[fleetways]

OKAY! It’s time for the Chimera Baby Lore Post!!

🌼 How did you come up with the OC's name?

In both a meta and non-meta sense, Chimera Baby’s name is probably the most notable part about them. The name Chimera Baby is a reference to m-flo and LiSA’s Tripod Baby, ft in the game Shadow the Hedgehog. For over 6 months that was her official non-official name, as I couldn’t decide on a name for her. I received over 15 name suggestions, but in July I ran a poll at which point she was dubbed Mira!

As it turns out, Mira happens to be the name of a binary star system. Two stars in a dance doomed to end in supernova—rather fitting for a chimera character, wouldn’t you say? I like to imagine Shadow was the one to name Mira something meaningful and space-themed like that, meanwhile Sonic named the other child something totally arbitrary (“His name is Mochi because he's white lol”)

On that note, I’ve also decided Sonic calls Mira “Chili” exclusively, because its silly and he would. So Mira, Chimera Baby, CB, and Chili are all names she goes by!

🌸 How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

I like to depict them anywhere from baby to teenager, but in their most recent incarnation I’d say they’re somewhere between 15-17

💖 Do they have any love interest(s)?

At the moment no. She’s generally too aloof and off putting for anyone to approach her with romantic intent, but maybe in the future….

🍓What is their favorite food?

Strawberries and Triangle Chao Fruit

⭐️ What do they do for a living?

💥 Do they have any hobbies?

Besides combat training, CB enjoys the occasional outdoor activity. Sometimes her friends goad her into a game of soccer (which she is an absolute beast at), but she generally prefers solo sports such as archery, rock climbing, or hiking. Sometimes her brother convinces her to fish with him, but she finds it pretty boring (but would never turn him down)

💃 What do they do best?

Mira excels at hand-to-hand combat. As the reigning champion of Chao Karate, Mira takes their martial arts training very seriously. They also possess exemplary control over chaos energy, and incorporates this into their technique. While they may not be as fast as their fathers, they make up for it with not just raw power, but an extremely disciplined technique.

Her skills also happen to make her an amazing breakdancer, but she’ll break your face if you ask her to demonstrate.

☀️ What is one of your OC's best memories?

A tie between making her baby brother laugh for the first time and the time she drew first blood for the first time in a fight with Shadow

🌧️ What is one of your OC's worst memories?

The aftermath of almost drowning as a child after she saved a chao friend.

✍️ Is their current design the first one?

For the most part—I did redesign their shoes because originally they were rocking some McDonalds drip.

💡What originally inspired the OC?

This post i made ^^

Basically its a mix of me poking fun at the phenomena of Sonadow fan-children all looking kinda similar, and this plush reminding me of actual chimerism in animals and wanting to create a character with that characteristic! Over the months my ironic love for her has grown into genuine fondness—so while she remains primarily as a parody, she’s also a character I’m having fun exploring concepts with <3 Much like both Shadow and Sonic the Hedgehog, you can take her as seriously or not seriously as you wish!

👾 What genre do they belong in?

PS1-era graphics Jet Set Radio game

🏳️‍🌈 What is your OC's gender identity and sexuality?

Non-binary and trans (you decide what direction). And she’s bisexual bc i love bisexuals <3

🍃How many sibling does your OC have?

One little brother Mochi—he is a perfect angel who is also her closest friend. She adores him, but you wouldn’t know from seeing them interact.

⚠️ What is the OC's relationship w/their parents like?

So I mentioned that Mira was reared in a chao garden, where her dads basically only visited once every couple days if not longer (Sonic and Shadow are not very attentive parents, go figure). However, this was honestly a perfectly fine arrangement as I headcanon mobian children don’t need the same level of parental contact as human children (Hell, Cream is kind of an outlier FOR having a present parental figure in her life).

That being said, I imagine Shadow spent more time with her when she was really young before stepping away, which made her really latch onto Shadow more than Sonic during that time. Especially seeing as Sonic is the most laissez-faire parent ever but simultaneously was the type to abandon her on a floating platform in midair with a trail of badniks so she can learn how to homing attack.

Much like her father before her, her latent Black Arms genes have caused her to develop a burning desire to destroy Shadow—a fact that Shadow seems strangely indifferent about. While this fact has pretty much wrecked their previous relationship, there are circumstances where Mira will put aside her goal and work with Shadow against a common enemy or towards a common objective (of course, this doesn’t stop her from trying to stab him in the back during these operations).

Her relationship with Sonic has remained mostly the same, with Sonic treating her much more like a friend or little sister than a daughter. They have lunch together at least once a month, and usually she’ll go to him for advice on any social interaction matter—conversations that have become much more frequent now that she’s begun to make friends.

💗 What do you like most about the OC?

I think I popped off with her design—chimerism is such an interesting concept and I loved balancing her two sets of genes without making it seem too busy. I also love her dynamic of trying to kill Shadow and how you would think her growing up in chao garden basically alone would have contributed to that, but that's not the case at all she’s just like that <3

‼️ Who is your OC's arch-nemesis or rival?

Shadow the Hedgehog is her self-proclaimed nemesis, but she makes a fair share of enemies and rivals wherever she goes due to her punch-first-ask-questions-later attitude. One notable rival is another OC of mine named Sauvik the Badger—another cold and brooding anti-hero much like her. Sauvik and Mochi are something of a team, but being a protective big sister she wants him to stay away from her brother. This generally leads to a fight that Mochi is inevitably forced to break up.

⏰ How long have you had the OC?

She was created in January of 2023!

—

That’s all! Feel free to ask any other questions and remember to vote for her here!

@sonic-oc-showdown