#it's arrogant to assume you know better than a professional- especially when you have /actually seen/ that it's written by a professional

[catcatb0y]

We need a term for "stupidly explaining something to someone who knows better" that isn't "mansplaining." Mansplaining is a very specific sort of act (from cis, typically straight) guys who have an abundance of hubris and a gloated sense of self importance.

Sometimes someone going, "You're wrong about that," isn't "mansplaining" so much as it's general confusion.

Mansplaining is a genuine issue and the term is an important one- it conveys a specific layer of misogyny and fulfils a niche of obnoxiousness and self importance (at the expense of someone else)- but 'person (masculine, male, or unidentified on the internet) is wrong about something (with any sort of slight confidence)' is not mansplaining.

It just kind of waters down the meaning to something silly and childish or adds a layer of heaviness/predjuice that isn't always there.

[oblique-lane]

Spy tf2 and his identity

Character analysis (or at least my vision on him, if you believe my reasoning)

What do we know about Spy? He's a disguise mastermind. He can pretend to be anyone in order to infiltrate into the scene to do his job - quite literally, stab people on the back. But when he's not in the battle, what is he to his teammates? A suave Frenchman, a gentleman with taste, somewhat a leader.

At least, that's the persona he prefers to show. But is he really..?

What if I tell you that this person never drops his disguise?

For a man who always wears a mask and who's identity being secret is a sacred part of his role in this job, isn't this persona too much to show if it is real? Frenchman, rich, ladykiller... Wouldn't it be too easy to decipher his identity with so much clues provided? Wouldn't it be dangerous?

While Miss Pauling and the Administrator definitely know Spy's real identity, hiding it is a major thing for whatever reason. One could assume it might be because of Scout (obvious guess) but I doubt he's a sole reason. Spy very much enjoys being the Spy all by himself. Do what's the deal?

Let's start from the beginning.

Why did Spy join Mann Co. in the first place?

Let's take this assumption as a fact: people come here out of desperation. They are professionals in their field, yet in their past/casual life there is a pattern of them having difficulties that push them into joining this service. I don't see why Spy would be an exception.

The reason for joining is usually money. Some people question why Spy, a wealthy man from higher society, would join Mann Co. if he has it all already.

Well, probably because he really does not.

Have you ever met an aristocrat? Wealthy people don't get so protective about their expensive suits, they can afford cleaning or a new one. Regardless, rich people don't usually get stingy about material goods, especially if they're mass produced.

At least, not those who were born into wealth.

Spy's defensiveness about his "wealthy stuff", his pomp-ness, disgust and arrogance towards "plebs" gives off a man who knows what it means to live in poverty and who doesn't want to be associated with it ever again.

(Not even talking about his own filthy habits such as not washing his mask and pissing on walls? Jesus Christ)

Dare I even guess that he might be not French at all? His French is so broken. (Although, so is Medic's German, but at least he uses his language much more frequently and in more complex sentences, while Spy only uses French to say some basic expressions, occasionally confusing them with other languages). Definitely not a native.

If anything, he's not giving "rich man" at all, he's giving con man. And that fits my picture perfectly.

So, poor upbringing. How old is Spy? If he's Scout's father (and he was young when he was conceived), I'd say he's no less than 20 years older than him. I'd give him a few more years actually. So, approximately Spy is around 50 at the events of the game (1968-1972). Let's assume he was born somewhere in the 1910s.

Even if he's not French, I still agree that he's probably European. Hmm, what was happening in Europe at the time Spy was a kid?

Oh yeah. The Great Depression.

See my picture: imagine, a child from a lower class family during the Great Depression, his parents were most likely to not take good care about him (both because of the economical situation AND as an echo to Spy's struggles with his own fatherhood). He has to run away from home early and start to make money. Any way possible.

Unavoidably, it leads to crime.

Petty theft, blackmail, scams. Changing identities. Selling low quality products and services. Changing identities again. When older, seducing rich women to stay at their homes overnight, be fed and supported. Running away from the police. Walking into a trap of the mafia, and then joining them as their goon.

In this nightmare of a life he just had to keep pretending to be someone else, someone better and stronger, in order to his ego to not completely shutter. He had to imagine he was an invincible mastermind trickster of some sort, not just a poor boo-hoo victim of poverty who has never knew normal life and care.

And if you pretend for long enough, you become your role eventually... Right?

His true self was long lost forgotten under many layers of new identities. Worse, his true self was never known. And he didn't want it to be known in its ugly and disgusting vulnerability. Narcissism became his lifeline.

It's so much better to be Spy. To be rich and elegant and respected. His ego rebuilt.

[a-crimson-lion]

The Past Is Present (In All The Wrong Ways…)

So I saw that @elflynns-horde-of-stuff wanted to talk about BNHA 319, and I was going to send her and ask, but then I let my thoughts go on too long, so… everyone gets this gigantic brain dump. Enjoy :D

[Fair warning: no immediate Bakubashing, but it does come in later. I’m not joking, if you don’t like that, AVOID it. Please. Thank you.]

Now there’s a LOT to unpack with this chapter, and I might not be able to put all of it in words, so let me try and boil it down to what I believe is the core issue:

People are recognizing Midoriya’s bulls*** without recognizing Bakugo’s bulls***.

[TL;DR at the very end, just so you know.]

Which, let me be clear, is completely fair. I like Midoriya as a character, he’s obviously one of my favorites, but hoo BOY am I sick and tired of the s*** he has to go through and the s*** he’s pulling! I understand he’s going through a lot of stress right now and he doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt, but from a completely professional standpoint, that is LITERALLY THE JOB. His other friends are literally HEROES (in training) that have also been through their fair share of UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONAL BULLS*** BECAUSE OF SHONEN LOGIC, so realistically trying to protect them, while noble, does kinda come off as insulting. And I get the whole savior complex thing, because the whole “its my responsibility, let me handle it” isn’t entirely irrational on its own.

The previous holders of OFA more or less signed up for the responsibility.

Nana Shimura signed up for the responsibility, not her family.

Toshinori Yagi signed up for the responsibility, not his friends and (found) family.

Izuku Midoriya signed up for the responsibility, not his mom, not his friends.

...except AFO isn’t just targeting OFA, though that is a big priority on his to-do list.

Except AFO, as a villain, isn’t just OFA’s responsibility.

Except even if innocent people can’t and shouldn’t be brought in the crossfire, Midoriya’s friends aren’t civilians. A good bulk of Midoriya’s allies aren’t civilians. They’re heroes. They signed up for this. Maybe not taking on an ancient evil like AFO, but hey, most villains nowadays AREN’T a part of the standard deal.

The thing about a savior complex is that you often have a blindside.

And from a more personal perspective, I’m not a big fan of the whole “protagonist repeats history” kinda deal, especially with the way BNHA framed itself as a sort of “next-gen” shonen which was supposed to be kinda sorta different. And the thing is, we already have several examples of the same story with the previous OFA holders, especially Nana and Toshinori, which we’ve seen in glimpses on several occasions.

Internally, it does make sense for Midoriya to be repeating the mistakes of his predecessors. Personally, I think it would make more sense if Midoriya’s inferiority complex manifested in a different way (and maybe show us the dangers of that heroic isolation through Nana and Toshinori in more fleshed out flashbacks so that part doesn’t get completely left out). But that’s not what we’re talking about here.

Now, with all my grievances of Midoriya settled… Bakugo.

Before I go to deep into AntiBaku mode, let me just say right now: I kinda get what he was going for.

He’s not being an arrogant loudmouth like usual because he’s letting his ego talk; he’s doing it because that’s what’s familiar to him AND to Midoriya. Midoriya is used to Bakugo when he acts like that, he hasn’t shown any serious signs of not being receptive to Bakugo when he’s like that (at least not recently), so Bakugo uses that in the hopes that maybe that familiarity will get Midoriya to stop and think. It’s worked before, right?

And in all fairness, maybe those insults are trying to get to Midoriya, too. He’s not thinking of OFA as some grand blessing, he’s not trying to be another All Might (the manga went as far to show us how much Izuku does NOT look like a traditional hero right now), so maybe Midoriya will stop and try to reason with his friends, and maybe come to reason with himself as well.

...or he’ll think Baku is full of s*** trying to set him off and just keep moving along, both out of annoyance and thinking Bakugo doesn’t really understand.

(This is where trying to understand Bakugo ends by the way.)

Because all of the above is assuming that Bakugo is approaching normal circumstances. Which he’s not.

Midoriya is tired, both mentally and physically. Midoriya has a very, VERY bad person trying to cut him off from everything, and everyone, and it’s working. Midoriya is under the impression that if he doesn’t keep moving, if he doesn’t try to fix this mess that HE signed up for, people that don’t deserve to get hurt are going to get hurt.

All Might is one of those people. His friends and classmates are some of those people. BAKUGO is one of those people.

And right now, all Bakugo is doing is getting in close proximity, doing what he usually does. He’s not changing his approach to throw Midoriya off, because he’s not that kinda person. He’s trying to talk Izuku down because that is his usual approach, and it’s worked before. Even if Midoriya ultimately contradicted his words, he’s always at least acknowledged Bakugo and what he’s had to say. So Bakugo’s trying to get him to realize how it looks from his perspective: Midoriya is getting a big head, he’s not ready for this responsibility, he’s not supposed to be this way.

...but that’s not what Midoriya’s hearing.

Right now, if I had to guess, the only thing Midoriya is processing right now is that he’s not enough. All Bakugo’s taunts are doing is inflaming his inferiority complex, reminding him that he’s not doing enough. He’s not a “Majesty… successor of One For All” because he’s NOT focusing on the clout, and from Midoriya’s perspective, he’s been doing a s*** job of helping people after the Nagant fiasco and with tracking down AFO and Shigaraki in general. He’s not an “All Might wannabe” because All Might can’t help right now, and even if he could, he’d be doing a lot better in Izuku’s eyes, because even if Toshinori Yagi was human, painfully so, All Might was always, ALWAYS, the #1 Hero for a reason.

...and how can Midoriya live up to that? What has he done to live up to that, to live up to ANYTHING, really?

Midoriya isn’t focusing on how much he’s done. He’s focusing on how much he hasn’t done.

“I can still move…” ...becuase I haven’t moved enough. Because I haven’t done enough.

With that said, time to switch topics: Bakugo’s understanding of the situation, while more extensive than anyone else, is also limited in its own right. I have problems with him claiming he knows All Might and Midoriya better than anyone else because of the sequence of events leading up to that are, realistically speaking (shocking, I know), completely contrived (aftermath of the Battle Trial, DvK2, subsequent invitation to secret OFA meetings). But that’s also because really, there’s a lack of complete awareness on Bakugo’s part, which isn’t expected, but still important.

Neither Bakugo nor Midoriya (nor the readers/viewers, really) know the full extent of All Might’s history as Toshinori Yagi. Midoriya probably knows a lot more of it than Bakugo does from a purely personal perspective, but that’s still not much, so Bakugo’s claim of knowing All Might is kinda :/ Then what about Izuku? Well…

Bakugo is willing to acknowledge that he bullied Midoriya. Bakugo is willing to acknowledge that Midoriya’s sense of self-worth is non-existent. But has Bakugo ever really acknowledged the impact he personally had on the latter?

Bakugo has been willing to see that the way he treated Midoriya was unjust, I won’t deny that. But as of now, we have yet to see Bakugo properly, explicitly realize that HE is the major contributor to Midoriya’s lack of self-worth. As far as Bakugo’s concerned, this is just another thing that Midoriya’s been doing since he was a kid. Except the fact that it’s not. Midoriya’s selflessness was always there.

...his lack of self-preservation came later.

And that’s the crux of the issue, really (finally, no more babbling): Bakugo is trying to tell Midoriya that he isn’t enough, but Midoriya is used to that. He grew up with it, heard it on repeat, internalized it. Not just from Bakugo, even if he was at some point a major contributor. And that’s Midoriya’s driving force: he’s not enough, he needs to do more, he can’t stop. There’s logic in Bakugo’s approach, but first off, it’s f***ing stupid logic, and second, logic doesn’t translate well to emotion. Even if Bakugo is doing what he’s doing with Izuku’s well-being in mind, he’s completely missing the point and kinda coming off as a dick, both externally and from a meta standpoint.

Izuku Midoriya doesn’t need Katsuki Bakugo trying to talk him down. He’s used to that.

Izuku Midoriya needs someone to tell him he’s done enough, plain and simple. No backhanded compliments, no workaround taunts. He needs someone like All Might- no, someone like Toshinori Yagi. He needs someone who is willing to tell him, in no uncertain terms, that he is enough, that he’s done enough.

More than enough people have already acknowledged Katsuki Bakugo.

Not enough people have truly acknowledged Izuku Midoriya.

TL;DR: Midoriya needs help, but the way Bakugo is going about it could actually backfire and feels shortsighted.

-Crimson Lion (9 July 2021)

[thefanficmonster]

I may or may not have just sent the 3 word challenge in my real account instead of anon... I'm sorry. Please don't answer there. :)

When you post, post answering here please.

Again, much love,

📚����

Don't worry dear! Your identity shall remain a secret 🥰 Here's yet another fic with my Resident Evil OC: Gwen Winters (she’s an adult guys, don’t worry. However this is still an Older Man/Younger Woman relationship)

The words dear  📚🌻 Anon gave me in their previous ask were: Unruly, endurable and system. Please enjoy!

What happens in the gym....

Pairing: Chris Redfield x Female OC

Warnings: Swearing, Spoiler Free 😊

Genre: Angsty Romance

“Sure, throw me in the fire like you always do, Leon!“ Chris snaps, clenching his fists tightly as he glares at his best friend while the two stand in the dimly lit gym.

“Chris, you’re a BSAA captain, for the love of God! You should know better than to complain about something as little as this!“ Leon, while significantly calmer tone and demeanor-wise, is glaring daggers of his own.

“Why me, damn it?! And why her?!“ Chris is not done with his attempts to get out of the situation Leon’s trying to land him in and his partner’s honestly done with it.

“And why not?! You see the same potential I see, why would it be so hard to train her? She’s a quick learner, she’s disciplined when she wants to be and she’s already skilled to a certain degree. You’ve made soldiers out of total wimps before, why is she such a hassle to you?!“

“Because she’s disciplined when she wants to be and I guarantee she won’t want to when she’s around me. She’s unruly, selfish, arrogant and a Chris-phobe. I’m telling you, she hates me!“

It’s about time Leon’s had enough of this conversation. To be honest, he was done with it as soon as it started but he stayed, thinking he’d be able to change Chris’ mind but seeing as how this is a hopeless case, he’s just been wasting his time. “Does she? Or are you projecting your hate for her onto her?” Slinging his duffel bag containing his training gear over his shoulder, Leon finally makes that realization that these are ten minutes of his life he’ll never get back and storms out of the gym without another word.

Chris doesn’t attempt to stop him, in fact, he’s relieved he left. He sighs, silently hating himself for all the shit he said and how he meant none of it. It was all hard bullshit and he doesn’t know whether to be thankful or disappointed that Leon didn’t realize. Either way, he’s been cleared of possible suspicion, even if training the newest BSAA rookie still remains as his task.

Gwen Winters, she’s such a fucking handful. One cannot tell if it’s because she’s angry with the world, angry with herself or just straight up picked up on the habits of the family that took her in when she was rescued from Raccoon City where she was held as an experiment hamster. A chemistry project basically. Ethan and Mia were recovering from the events back in Louisiana at the time, still probably are, that is not some shit you get over, so they thought having another person in the house would help them. And help Gwen did. See, Gwen isn’t a handful with everyone. In fact, she’s a real sweetheart and Chris knows it too, despite his bogus claims. He knows she’s got a heart and soul of gold and is built with the will of a BSAA soldier already. All she needs is a bit better fighting skills and she’s good to go. 

He sees how she acts with everyone around him. She’s been quick to make friends with Jill and his sister Claire and she’s even got Leon’s liking and trust which is hella hard to get, especially after all the shit with Ada. She’s overall a super sweet and lovely girl, even with him from time to time. He’s seen her welcoming, friendly smiles whenever he stops by the Winters’ home. He’s heard her laugh at the jokes he rarely cracks.

Then why does she act like she hates him so often? And why does he claim he hates her?

Chris is snapped back to reality by the sound of rough impact. It’s a very distinct noise, one he places immediately: the sound of fists hitting a punching bag. It’s the middle of the night, almost midnight actually, and knowing how lazy the soldiers on his team are, he can only assume it’s either his sister or Jill, given that Leon just left. However, they’ve had people sneak in to train for free before, so it’d be for the best if he went to check who was releasing some pent up energy on the poor punching bag. Judging by the intensity of the punches being thrown, sounds like the person might be angry as well.

And they have every right to be. Because they are Gwen.

Chris’ face goes a bit red at the sight of the infuriated rookie giving the punching bag her all, punishing it the way she’d want to do to her superior she just heard call her all the names she hates being referred by.

“Winters I-“

“Unruly?“ Punch “Selfish?” Punch “Arrogant?” Punch

She stills herself, sighing and wiping the droplets of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, “You say all that and expect me not to be a Chris-phobe?” She lets out a bitter laugh, rolling her shoulders before continuing her wrath over the piece of equipment she’s threatening to destroy. She hasn’t spared him a single look yet, something he’s rather grateful for because the last thing he wants to see is whatever her gaze is hiding right now. “I’ll talk to Leon.” She says, her voice leveled and breathy, far from the pissed off tone she was just using. This calmness is a lot scarier though. “I’ll tell him I don’t want you to be my trainer. To be perfectly clear, I never wanted you to train me in the first place. I’m just not the type to complain, you know. I’m not picky. Beggers can’t be choosers. I take what I can get. And you were all I was offered, but...” she trails off, delivering a particularly hard punch, “It’s not gonna work. I may not be picky, but I know when to draw the line. I know when I deserve better.”

“Kid, you really have no idea what the case really is here.“ He attempts desperately, taunted by the thought of acting on his instincts and approaching her even if that means being the recipient of one of those hard punches.

“You know, I’m strong. I’m skilled. I can hold my own in a fight quite nicely. I’m endurable. I’m not afraid to work my ass off and sweat and pant like a dog after workouts. There’s not a line I wouldn’t cross, but you still choose to make me feel lesser than any soldier you’ve ever come across, that’s really lovely of you, Captain Redfield.“

“Winters, please...“

“It’s ok, I won’t tell Ethan and Mia. I’m sure they’ll send you to hell over it. I’m not petty like that.“

He’s had enough. He’s had enough of hearing that hurt tone in her voice. He’s done hearing these words she’s so certain are true but aren’t. He’s done lying to her and to himself. Before he can even think twice about it, he grabs her by the arms gently but firmly, turning her to face him despite her hostile attempts to free herself from his hold like a wild animal caught in a trap. He’s surprised when she relaxes, probably seeing that as a quicker way out of the situation rather than struggling though if she tried to free herself any longer he would’ve probably let her go.

“Fucking hell, Gwen, listen to me.“ He looks her dead in the eyes, catching onto the spark of shock created by his use of her first name. But he also sees something else, something that looks dangerously a lot like tears. He knows she won’t cry, especially not in front of him, but knowing that he’s the cause behind the welling of those crystal droplets in her always shiny, always smiling eyes breaks him. When she doesn’t look away nor protest, he continues, “I can’t be your captain. I can’t be your trainer. I can’t be any of that. I’m a strictly professional man, and it’d be highly unprofessional of me to take you in as my soldier.”

“But why?“ She’s fully aware she sounds like a whiny kid - exactly how she thinks he envisions her sometimes - but she couldn’t care less. She wants and needs answers. She knows she won’t be able to fall asleep or keep coming back to the training center if she doesn’t get them.

It’s blatantly clear this is far from easy for Chris. His first instinct is to look away, let go of her, run away like he always does - not that she’d let him do such a thing but still. He’s finds the words impossible to spit out yet he oh so desperately feels the need to get them out of his system. And so, he gathers all the strength within him and finally forces himself to say it.

“Because a captain isn’t supposed to look at a soldier the way I look at you.“

Sure, it sounds cryptic as heck but he has no doubt she’ll catch on. Gwen is a smart and sharp girl, among many other things. She confirms this when barely three seconds after he’s said it, he notices her eyes widening

“Sir, I-“

“Don’t.“ He says simply, a small, regretful smile playing across his lips as his hand slides down her arm to take hold of hers, “I just admitted my dirtiest secret to you and you are still gonna remind me how unprofessional I am by using my title, Kid?“

She purses her lips, the shock momentarily replaced by her signature mild glare, “Well, you just admitted your biggest secret to me and yet you still choose to call me ‘Kid’, huh?”

He chuckles, letting his other hand repeat the movements of the first, “Sorry, force of habit.” His thumbs brush against her knuckles briefly as his head falls, his gaze fixating on where their bodies are connected, “You know, I didn’t tell you this to get myself any pity or anything. I just wanted you to understand and....wanted to get it off my chest. Ethan will kill me if he finds out, won’t he?” He suddenly asks, regaining the courage to look up at her once again.

She giggles, “Who says he’s gonna find out?”

Chris bites the inside of his cheek, shaking his head, “You’re right, there’s nothing really to find out abo-”

Gwen has never been a chatter nor can she tolerate when people beat around the bush so she’s quick to cut them off sometimes, no matter how rude that may seem or sound. However, just to clarify, her chosen method of cutting a person off isn’t always kissing them. Just saying - this is a special situation requiring special methods.

Taken aback by the sudden feeling of her lips on his, Chris’ eyes close automatically but not even a second later he responds to the kiss properly: wrapping his arms around Gwen’s waist as her hands travel up to cup his face. The kiss is short - too short if either of them is to be asked - but it’s worth all the words they didn’t say despite wanting to.

When they pull away, Gwen gives him a mischievous smile, “Now he could find out about that and then shit would go south. That’d suck, wouldn’t it Chris?“

He’s only ever heard her say his name twice, once in passing conversation with Claire and once earlier when she paraphrased his term ‘Chris-phobe’, both time spoken with some dose of dislike he now realizes was a cover-up all along. Turns out the two are a lot more alike than they initially thought. Regardless, hearing her say his name with fondness instead of bitterness makes his heart flutter, his body yearn to have her closer, his lips wanting to be in contact with hers again. But he’s a patient and self-controlled man, he’s nothing if not willpower sculpted in a human body, so he keeps his distance, waiting for her to pick the moves, waiting for her to make the decisions just like she’s his captain.

“Big time.“ He manages to say, voice coarse all of a sudden, barely able to leave his throat. “So it stays here, right?”

She giggles again, bringing her lips within an inch or two away from his, taunting him, threatening to break his self-control, “What happens in the gym stays in the gym, Redfield.”

Golden rules of discretion, ones he mustn’t break ever. Especially not when his captain - Captain Gwen Winters - holds so much power over him.

[imaginedhaven]

Flames On My Skin

a smutty Rowaelin oneshot

Link to Hot Professors Collection Masterlist

Summary:

Ever since the day she’d met Rowan Whitethorn, Aelin had been promising herself two things: that she would rise above his taunting and be the better person, and that she would stop sleeping with him.

It turned out, she was terrible at holding herself to both of those goals.

Rating: E for Explicit- NOT intended for readers under 18!

Warnings/Contents: Enemies with Benefits, Angry Sex, Semi-Public Sex, College AU where they’re both professors

This was prompted by an anonymous ask, who requested a bunch of dirty talk one-liners in an enemies with benefits scenario. I took advantage of the opportunity to visit a world I’d envisioned but never actually wrote, where Rowan and Aelin are both professors at the same university and get off on the wrong foot. (Heh.)

Enjoy!

~*~*~

Aelin stormed into her office and slammed the door behind her, tossing the folder she carried onto her desk and growling as it exploded on impact, papers flying everywhere. The department meeting had somehow gone even worse than she’d anticipated, and given that she’d prepared as though it was a battle rather than a biweekly check-in that was saying something.

Rather than gather the papers that had scattered across her desk, she allowed herself to instead flop into her chair and lean back as far as it would go. Her hands found their way into her hair and began pulling the hairpins out of her carefully braided and coiled style. Gods, she had spent so long trying to look professional, trying to be the calm and collected professor and researcher she knew she was.

As he did for most things, Rowan Whitethorn had ruined that so effortlessly.

All it had taken him was a handful of subtly pointed remarks and she had absolutely lost it and snapped at him. She didn’t know what it was about him in particular; in her field she’d certainly dealt with difficult personalities before, and it wasn’t like their research interests aligned enough for them to be forced into working together overly often. But ever since her first day in Doranelle University’s psychology department, she and Rowan had been at each other’s throats to the point where Gavriel—Professor Albareda, he wasn’t her uncle while they were working, he was the head of the department—had threatened to sit them down and make them come up with an agreement and sign it.

She could be more mature than that. She would be more mature than that. She…

Fuck. I’m so wet right now, she realized as she crossed her legs and bit her lip.

This had been the other reaction she’d had to his presence for as long as they’d been working together. When she’d first seen him, the combination of broad shoulders and platinum hair with pine-green eyes had immediately piqued her interest, and she’d been about to say something vaguely inappropriate when he’d raised a single eyebrow and asked if her blouse was stained with coffee or intentionally patterned that way.

She’d made sure his shirt was stained too, but even that awful first meeting had done nothing to diminish her interest. It didn’t take a researcher with a specialization in theories of personality to realize that probably said something about herself. Unfortunately for her, she was one, and so she chose not to dwell on it for too long.

Thankfully, while they’d both been kicked out of the meeting she thought she’d seen him head toward his own office two halls away. The others would be in the conference room for another ten minutes at least, and likely closer to twenty. She had a little time. She could take care of things with no one the wiser and escape with the shreds of her dignity intact, so she could lick her wounds and fight another day.

Decision made, she let her hand slide under her own skirt.

She hissed as her fingertips traced along the waist of the panties she’d worn that day and then lower. Gods, she really was wet. This wouldn’t take long at all. Which was a good thing, as this was her office. At work. Fuck, that shouldn’t be turning her on even more.

Suddenly the door opened and she jumped into an upright position, hands smoothing her skirt back down. She hadn’t gotten very far, and it was possible—likely, even—that whoever had come in wouldn’t be able to tell. The flush on her cheeks was easily explained by the fight, and hardly anything else was out of place.

“Well, don’t let me stop you.” Fuck, that was his voice drawling from her doorway.

Aelin glared at the intruder, and sure enough that was Whitethorn leaning against the doorframe. “What are you doing here, Buzzard?” she asked, irritation seeping into her tone.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you, all day. Especially while you were yelling at me earlier.” That last bit was said with his trademark smirk, and she hated how it made her want to melt.

“Funny,” she growled, “because I’d done such a good job of almost forgetting the last time we ran into each other.” They had wound up pressed against each other in a supply closet then, and for a dizzying moment she wasn’t sure if she wanted to do it again or forcibly eject him from her office once and for all.

“Is that so?”

She finally snapped. “What do you want, Whitethorn?”

His smirk broadened, a too-familiar light gleaming in his eyes. “I want you to touch yourself for me.”

Aelin sniffed, hoping the gesture hid the shiver she couldn’t quite suppress. “Full of ourselves today, are we?”

“You say that like you think I didn’t see what you were doing. Go on. Right where you left off.”

It was tempting, Aelin couldn’t deny that. It was a terrible idea, but it was so very tempting. Just like it had been last time, and the time before that. Still, she couldn’t resist one last snide remark. “Bold of you to assume that had anything to do with you.”

She slid forward in her chair, though, legs spreading slightly as she said the words. Whitethorn grinned and stepped fully into her office, closing and locking the door behind himself. Good, at least he had the tiniest amount of sense. “I’m assuming nothing. But I know what you were doing, and you know by now that all you have to do is tell me I’m out of line.”

It was an out, and even though she appreciated him offering it, she already knew she wouldn’t take it. As inadvisable as it was to be doing this with a colleague whose relationship with her was antagonistic at best, she just couldn’t bring herself to call it off.

If he was as conflicted as she was, it didn’t show in his face as he watched her fingertips trace up her thigh toward her core. “Gods, you’re so hot.”

The words were whispered, and rough as though they had been torn from his throat without his volition. The harsh yet soft tone in combination with his purring accent made her fingers twitch, and she gasped as they brushed over her clit through the lace of her panties. “I know,” she retorted, though she knew there was a tremble in her voice and she knew he would pick up on it.

“You’re holding back,” was his only reply. “Go on, take them off.”

“Why, so you can steal them?” She grinned as she slipped her fingers beneath the lace instead. “I would’ve thought that kind of thing was beneath you, Mr. High and Mighty.”

He grinned as well, though his eyes were fixed on the movement of her fingers. “I don’t care what you do with them. Stuff them into a drawer if you really feel a need to.” I just need to see. He wanted to say it, she could see it in his face, but something was holding him back.

Deciding to put her colleague out of his misery, she hooked her thumbs in the fabric and wiggled out of it, tossing the scrap of lace at him before settling back down on the corner of her desk and spreading her legs wide for him.

He caught the fabric easily enough, tucking it into a pocket before resuming his nonchalant stance. She knew better, though; she could see from the dilation of his pupils and the tension in his arms and hands that he was far from unaffected, and that was without the evidence that was rapidly making itself prominent below his belt. She grinned, reveling in the strange empowerment of seeing him struggle for composure. “I knew you just wanted to steal them. I better get those back.”

He rolled his eyes. “Shut up and touch yourself, Galathynius.”

She smirked at him, letting her hand rest against her upper thigh instead. “Say my name.”

Whitethorn scowled. “I did say your name.”

“You know what I mean. You want to watch me shove my fingers in this cunt, you can call me by my first name for a change.”

“Fine,” he sighed. “Shut up and touch yourself, Aelin.”

“Much better.” Anything else she could’ve said trailed off into a moan as she finally allowed her fingertips to properly circle her clit, free hand hiking her skirt up enough to grant her freedom of movement and him the view he sought.

She’d already been so worked up before this moment just from their argument, and the look in his eyes as he watched hungrily was only fanning the flames burning within her. But it wasn’t enough, even as she slipped one finger and then another into herself and curled them just the right way. A part of her knew it would never be enough, not like this.

Not when he was right there.

“I need to feel you,” she gasped, not even caring that the words left her even more exposed than her position under his heated gaze.

He lifted an eyebrow in response, even as his hands went to the buckle of his belt. “Do you, now?”

“Shut up and get in me, you arrogant buzzard,” Aelin snapped.

Whitethorn scowled. “You made me say your name, the least you could do is say mine while you’re begging me to fuck you.”

She supposed it was only fair, after what she had made him say just a few short moments ago. It was surprisingly difficult, though, to finally give voice to those few simple words she’d said all too often in her own dreams now. “Fuck me, Rowan.”

The words had an immediate impact on him, and she watched as his eyes closed briefly and his fingers fumbled over his fly. “Just for that, I’m going to fuck you until you beg me to stop.”

“Those are big words for a man who is not currently fucking me.”

The words did their job, goading him into freeing himself from his pants quickly and then just as quickly pressing into her. Her head tipped back at the pleasurable stretch of his cock filling her, laced with just the most delightful edge of pain. Fuck, he was bigger than she’d remembered, but the last thing she wanted to do was give him the satisfaction of saying it.

He could read it from her face, though, she was sure of it. He always had a way of knowing when her own mind was betraying her.

His hips stilled once he was fully seated inside of her, and she opened her mouth to snarl at him before it opened further on a moan she couldn’t hold back as his thumb found her clit. “Pity we don’t have longer.” His voice was deceptively light, but from the way his free hand clutched at her hip he was clearly struggling to hold himself back.

That was highly displeasing, but she could goad him into letting go and moving. She was sure of it. “Why’s that, so you can take twice the time to disappoint me by getting in me and doing nothing? Fucking move.”

“Careful what you wish for,” he taunted, but before she could even think to reply he moved his hand away from her clit to clutch at both of her hips as he pulled out and then slammed back into her.

Aelin gritted her teeth to keep him from getting the satisfaction of eliciting yet another moan from her. A second thrust caught her off guard, though, and she cried out and clutched at his shirt. “More,” she demanded. “Please, more—”

He thankfully cut her off by clapping a hand over her mouth before she could embarrass herself further. “Be quiet,” he hissed. “Or do you want everyone else to hear? The conference room isn’t that far from here, you know. Are you trying to get caught?”

She wasn’t sure if it was the tone of his voice, the thrill of danger, or the continued movement of his cock inside her. Gods help her, though, she trembled and came just like that, biting at his palm to hold back a whimper.

“Fuck,” he whispered before biting his own lip. His rapid thrusts slowed to a steady grind, and his free hand shifted so he could rub his thumb over her clit once more.

The movement made her whine into his hand; she was already so sensitive from having reached her peak once, and it had been earth-shattering enough that she didn’t think she’d be able to again so soon. “I can’t,” she sobbed, the sound muffled by his palm. “Please, I can’t, I—”

“You can. You can, I’m almost there.” Thank the gods, he seemed to realize they didn’t have time for him to draw another orgasm out of her. Instead he kept up the steady motion of his hips and his cock, letting his thumb stop its movements and simply rest over the oversensitive nub of flesh.

She tugged his hand away from her mouth and then surged forward, crushing their lips together in a sloppy kiss before biting his lower lip.

She couldn’t tell what it had been that pushed him over the edge; it could’ve been the kiss, the edge of pain from her teeth, or even simply the change in angle she had provided. Maybe it was a combination of all of those, or something else altogether. Whatever it was, Whitethorn hissed and his hips stilled, and soon she felt the warmth of his release.

They both clung to each other as they struggled to catch their breath, before finally separating. As he tucked himself back into his pants and adjusted his belt, Aelin stood on shaky legs and smoothed her skirt over her thighs. She would need to clean up soon, or the evidence of what they’d just done would be plain for all to see given the material of her outfit. But she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of being the first to leave.

Besides, she wasn’t altogether certain she could walk just yet.

He seemed to have no such problems, for he strode to her door and unlocked it again as she raked fingers through her golden waves to attempt to tame them. “So,” he drawled. “Same time next week, Galathynius?”

Asshole. She snarled in reply. “Get the fuck out of my office, Whitethorn.”

He smirked, though she automatically catalogued that the expression didn’t reach his eyes. “Whatever you say.”

The door closed once more behind him with a quiet click, and Aelin sighed and reached for the bottom drawer of her desk. She fumbled blindly inside it before pulling out a small package of tissues and—

Gods damn him. She’d forgotten she hadn’t tucked her panties away after all, and he’d just walked out of her office with them still in his pocket.

It seemed she’d have to meet him again after all. Perhaps in his office, in a day or two.

~*~*~

Tagging:

@ireallyshouldsleeprn @queen-of-glass @fangirlprincess09 @sassys-world @morganofthewildfire @superspiritfestival @perseusannabeth @sis-it-dont-add-up @jlinez @julemmaes @emilyoftheshadows @thegoddessofyou @mymultiversee @swankii-art-teacher @rowansfirebringer @livsdriverslicense @courtofjurdan @danibutterr @woollycat22 @rowaelinismyotp- your tag isn’t working! Sorry!

[jonsa101]

Helen Sharpe: A Deep Dive Into Her Wants and Needs What it Means For Sharpwin in Season 3

I feel like in more ways than one this week’s episode revealed so much about where Helen is at mentally after the worse of the pandemic but also solidifies where Sharpwin is heading this season. We finally got a first look at Helen and Cassian’s relationship and also learned a little bit more about her family. I’m so glad they incorporated Freema’s Iranian heritage in the show and I can’t wait until we get an introduction to her Ghanian side as well. Helen having a Ghanian mom is literally chef’s kiss and as a fellow Nigerian, I know west african mama’s don’t play so I hope we get to see her on screen. As for Cassian and Helen I loved the fact that he was able to truly support her in her time of need but the chemistry is severely lacking for me. I usually don’t mind seeing HeIen with someone else because it’s usually fun and entertaining and I obviously know who her endgame is. Panthaki and Helen where hot and fun to watch. I just feel like the showrunners hyped Cassian up to be this edgy, “bad boy,” arrogant type who’s supposed to give Max a run for his money but I’m not seeing that at all! The chemistry is just flat y’all. It’s just not giving what they said it was supposed to give... 

Anyway, despite the lack of chemistry, Cassian is playing a role that we honestly haven’t seen from Max yet. He’s truly being there for her and doing his part to support her in her time of need. In Max and Helen’s relationship it has always been the other way around with Helen supporting him. He has never truly stepped up to meet or even think about her needs. Not really anyway. Furthermore, in the midst of her vulnerability, Helen revealed that she feels like “she keeps running out of time.” These two aspects of this episode are so important because it tells me two things.

1. Helen is clearly at a breaking point and desperately wants to make her relationship work with Cassian because she feels like she’s “running out of time” in every area of her life.

2. Max has too and unequivocally will meet Helen’s needs in more ways than one this season.

From everything we know so far about Helen this is how I would summarize her. Helen is a beautiful and incredibly talented doctor who cares deeply about her patients and wants to be respected for more than just being a “celebrity doctor.” She was previously engaged and lost her finance suddenly to a brain aneurysm. She desperately wants a child and is considered “geriatric” because she’s over the age of 35 and in the midst of her fertility journey she realizes that she doesn’t want to raise a child on her own. Ultimately she actually wants love and a family. Being vulnerable has never come easy to her in any of her relationships, romantic or otherwise and there are so many things about her life that we still don’t know yet. 

So based off what we know, when Helen says she feels like “she keeps running out of time” there’s depth to that statement and we have to assume that when she said that she was referring to EVERY aspect of her life. In a sense she ran out of time with her fiancé Mohammad when he passed unexpectedly and though she isn’t “old” Helen no doubt also feels like she’s running out of time to have a baby and a family of her own. These are two things that Helen wants more than anything else in the world and the fact that it hasn’t happened yet is clearly getting to her. Professionally, I feel like Helen is at a place in her life where she’s content and is learning how to balance putting her patients first while also upholding her press commitments. In her personal life it’s a whole different story and I definitely think Helen is spiraling. The ripple of effects of the pandemic are definitely still affecting her and in a sense Cassian is more like a means to an end to help her feel like her personal life is “on track.” Even Helen herself said that “I don’t want to make excuses anymore about you” to Cassian which clearly indicates that she has her doubts about him and the relationship  but she’s going to jump in anyway because she doesn’t want to waste/run out of time!

I know a lot of people think that Sharpwin probably won’t come into fruition until season 4 or season 5 but I could not disagree more. To me, Helen’s fear of things running out of time in her life and or feeling like she’s had missed windows of opportunities is the BIGGEST INDICATOR that Sharpwin is about to come to fruition RAPIDLY! The writing is on the wall! She is not trying to wait for anything or anybody. She’s seen the worst of the pandemic, she knows first hand how life is so fleeting and how quickly things can change and she’s had ample amount of time to reflect on what she wants and needs in her life. She hasn’t truly dealt with her trauma but she is jumping all in for her sanity. 

For Max and Helen, this is a make it or break it season for them where they decide if they want to be together or not. The will they won’t they stage has long passed because it no longer make sense in the storyline for either of them to still be confused about what they want especially after the worst of the pandemic. They clearly have feelings for each other and are in love. It was indicated in season 1 and damn near established in season 2. After a year in a pandemic where they saw thousands of people die a day and so many people have had time to reflect on their lives, for them to come out of that still dragging their feet and being indecisive about who they love and what they want is not a realistic storyline. It could have worked if the pandemic never happened but it did and the pandemic changed everything for everyone. 

So with that said this brings me to Max. Cassian is here for one purpose and that is to ignite Max into action. Helen last season has practically already put her feelings on the line with her declaration of “Everything I’ve done I’ve done for you” and a year later Max hasn’t done shit about it. For the past two seasons she has been his support system and this season he needs to step up and be hers. This is the season where Max needs to go above and beyond for her like she has done for him countless times in the past. Time is clearly of the essence, especially for Helen and he needs to get his shit together quickly. I personally feel like he’s going to supersede her expectations and then some and his actions to me just scream that he’s preparing for a new chapter. He’s already told her he’s trying to build something better for her and Luna, he’s moved out Georgia’s things and at Helen’s encouragement, brought Luna home. The only thing left that he needs is a partner and clearly Helen is his partner!

Also there’s a level of emotional support that we haven’t seen Max give to Helen and I think we saw this play out as well with Georgia. Max has a tendency to be caught up in his own world a lot of the time and sometimes he’s not really present with the people he cares about. I think this season Max is going to become more self aware of that and actually be there for Helen when she needs him the most.

Anyway, these are just my thoughts what I see for Sharpwin this season! Here’s to hoping these things actually come to past. Let me know what you think is in store for Sharpwin in season 3!

[kerosene-insomniac]

To Be So Lonely

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Midoriya Izuku

Warnings: Strong language, sexually explicit smut, violence, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, cancer sub-plot, major character death {not bakudeku}

Word Count for Chapter: 2,791

Summary: Midoriya Izuku has always wanted to be a musician. Something about the lyric working with a melody to convey his feeling just made his heart race. After his father died when he was three, Izuku has always relied on his mother. She worked two jobs to care for him and always supported his dreams. But when his mother is diagnosed with breast cancer just after he graduated high school, Izuku has to shift his focus. Now he’s working two jobs and takes care of his mother with the help of his gay neighbors. 

In an attempt to learn self-defense, Izuku takes a few classes at a local gym. It’s there that he meets Toshinori Yagi, an older beta who used to be a professional heavyweight boxer. Yagi notices Izuku’s potential and encourages the small omega to eventually go pro. So, in order to make more money, Izuku eventually agrees.

Bakugou Katsuki has only ever wanted to fight. Orphaned as the young age of four, Katsuki has been fighting to live for his entire life. Fighting is all he’s ever known. After fighting underground for a couple years, Katsuki is noticed by Todoroki Enji. The older alpha takes him in at 19 and names him the official successor of his legacy (especially since all of his actual kids hate him). 

Now, Katsuki is 25-years-old and the professional heavyweight champion.In a whirlwind of events, Katsuki meets Izuku in the unlikeliest of places. He watches the small omega perform and can’t help it feel extremely protective and absolutely enamored with him. The older alpha gets to meet him and say goodbye without even learning the omega’s name. Katsuki isn’t sure that they’ll ever meet again.

 That is, until Katsuki officially meets Izuku at a professional lunch with his manager’s rival.

{OR}

The one where Katsuki is a professional alpha boxer with arrogance issues and Izuku is a stubborn omega that’s way little too reckless with his well-being. With a wacky cast of characters (including three idiots, a manly best friend, a traumatized bastard with daddy-issues, and many more) absolutely hell-bent on getting them together, neither men can seem to catch a break

***

———- Continue Reading ————-

{0.1} Sweet Like Honey

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”

― Laurell K. Hamilton

K A T S U K I

“C’mon, Bakubro! Smile a little!”

Katsuki scowled even more as Kirishima dragged him towards the run-down bar. On some level, he wants to be here and have fun with his friends. On another, however, he knows that he’ll have to deal with a hangover tomorrow.

And fuck that.

The shitty bar smells vaguely of coffee and beer, as well as a mix of pheromones. It has a decent amount of people inside, but not enough to feel overwhelming.

“How did Pikachu find this shitty place?”

Kirishima gave him a look, as if he was a scolding parent. “His boyfriend actually did. It has live music and decent alcohol.”

Katsuki huffed, pulling his hood over his hair. “Who the fuck would want to court Pikachu? He’s annoyingly dumb.”

“Well, not everyone thinks that.”

Before Katsuki can argue, sweet-smelling arms wrapped around his neck.

“Blasty!! You made it!” Mina screeched, already smelling of red wine.

Katsuki growled, immediately pushing the omega off of him and towards her alpha. Kirishima caught her easily. “Don’t touch me, Raccoon Eyes! Ever hear of personal space?!”

Mina giggled, whispering loudly into Kirishima’s ear. “He’s so grumpy already.”

“I know. It’s pretty funny.”

Katsuki bristled, baring his teeth. “Fuck off, Shitty Hair!”

Kirishima chuckled, ignoring Katsuki directing them further inside. Closer to the bar was Kaminari and a purple-haired beta who obviously didn’t get enough sleep the night before.

The audacity.

Kaminari glanced their way, his face lighting up. “Bakugou! It’s nice to see that Kirishima-“

“Shut it, Dunce Face.” Katsuki grumbled lowly. “I’m just here to babysit you idiots.”

Denki shrugged, taking a shot of something that smelled suspiciously like Fireball. “Whatever you say, Bakugou. Hitoshi is already our babysitter for the night.”

The purple-haired beta blinked in Katsuki’s direction, taking a sip of his water bottle. He looked like he was silently analyzing and judging Katsuki, which immediately made the older alpha bristle.

“Calm down, Blasty.” Mina snickered, leaning against Kirishima. “You scowl too much.”

Katsuki scowled even more, watching as everyone ordered drinks.

Kirishima glanced at him, offering a sympathetic smile. “Just chill, Bakubro. Shinsou says the live music is really good!”

That’s unlikely.

“I know the performer.” Shinsou murmured, still studying Katsuki. “He’s a childhood friend.”

Katsuki ignored the insomniac troll doll and took a seat next to Kirishima. “This better be good, Shitty Hair. You know how I feel about music.”

Kirishima nodded, accepting his drink from the bartender. “Well, Jiro also speaks highly of the dude. She’s as serious about music as you are, so I’m sure he’s pretty great.”

That’s a little reassuring.

Before Katsuki could speak again, a small voice came from the stage.

And god, Katsuki’s interest immediately heightened.

A small man climbed onto a stool with a guitar in his hands. He had dazzling green eyes and a head of green curls that made him look soft. He was wearing a grey hoodie with ripped skinny jeans, making him look even cuter.

And the freckles.

Katsuki took a deep breath, immediately freezing as omegan pheromones washed over the small bar.

Chocolate and cherries.

He’s so screwed.

“Our first request of the night is called ‘Save Yourself’.” The omega murmured, his voice sweet as honey.

The small omega started strumming a dingy guitar, making it look effortless. But Katsuki knew better than to assume.

It weighs heavier on one's heart

I could tell right from the start that sweet ones are hard to come across

Well there is more than meets the eye

A heart like yours is rare to find

Someone else's gain will be my loss

“Holy shit…”

For once, Katsuki could agree with Pikachu.

Shinsou chuckled lowly, earning glances from everyone else. “I’m glad that you think he’s good. I’ve tried telling him that, but he never wants to hear it.”

“He’s adorable!” Mina squealed, almost a little too loudly.

Katsuki gave her glare, which didn’t go unnoticed by Kirishima. In fact, the red-haired alpha grinned and followed Katsuki’s gaze.

Woah, woah, oh oh

Oh woah, woah

Woah woah oh

Hey hey

Well little things that make you smile

Dancing barefoot in the dark

If only I had strength to change your mind

Oh for what you need

You will not see

Choose your words before you speak

Can you see that all you've got is time?

Katsuki couldn’t fucking breathe.

The small omega sounded soft and sure, obviously confident and lost in the song. A stray curl rested on his forehead, moving as he strummed the guitar.

Whatever it was about him, Katsuki couldn’t look away.

Woah now

Save yourself

Oh you save yourself

Oh darling save yourself for someone else

Yeah, save yourself

Oh darling save yourself

Oh won't you save yourself from someone else

Woah

Don't give in to their feelings

Don't give in darkness and faith

You should be safe, yeah, with someone else

Tell your secrets to the night

You do yours and I do mine

So we won't have to keep them all inside

Oh, for one so pure

Count these off

Let your feelings take control

Hold on to the world that he's begging for

“What’s his name?”

Shinsou looked at Kirishima, almost as if he was bored. “He’s not comfortable with me telling people. He’s a very private person.”

Mina pouted, whining slightly. “But he’s so good! Wouldn’t he want people to know his name?”

“He’s going through a lot right now.”

Katsuki glanced at Shinsou, immediately meeting the beta’s gaze. “For once, I agree with Raccoon Eyes. Private or not, he’s obviously good enough to go somewhere with a voice like that.”

The beta raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware that you complimented people, Bakugou. Not everyone is a cocky boxer with arrogance issues.”

Ex-fucking-cuse me?

“At least I know how to fight, you knock-off troll doll!”

Shinsou blinked, obviously unaffected by Katsuki’s words. “Just because you’re a professional boxer doesn’t mean shit, Bakugou. If I remember correctly, you were underground once.”

Katsuki glared, scowling harshly. “Underground?”

“He’s an underground boxer, Bakubro,” Kirishima murmured, looking amused with the whole interaction. “He’s pretty good.”

Whatever.

Katsuki focused on the musician again, obviously pouting.

Woah now

Save yourself

Oh won't you save yourself

Go on and save yourself for someone else

Yes darling save yourself

Oh won't you save yourself

Go on and save yourself for someone else

Woah are you going to break?

Are you going to break?

Woah aren't you going to take me?

Yeah are you going to break?

Are you going to break?

Are you going to break?

Woah what's it going to take?

Yeah, are you going to break?

Are you going to break?

Are you going to break?

Are you going to break?

The small omega strummed the last few notes, his voice cracking slightly as the last lyrics finished. He shyly smiled at the crowd, using his bandaged hand to brush his curls out of his face.

Wait.

Bandages?

Katsuki watched with narrowed eyes as the small omega talked with the crowd, obviously trying to take more requests. Something about him was off and it made the alpha slightly suspicious.

Why does he look like that?

I Z U K U

“-and thank you for coming out! Goodnight!”

Izuku waved at the crowd as he exited the stage, his heart in his throat at the small amount of applause. His guitar felt heavy in his small hands, matching his equally heavy shoulders.

Music doesn’t have the same relief it used to.

The small omega chewed on his bottom lip anxiously as he placed his ratty guitar in it’s case. Izuku had saved up two summers worth of money to buy it, so he definitely felt more attached to it than most.

“Here’s your tips, Midoriya.”

Izuku snapped out of his daze as the female omega handed him the money, his pretty green eyes looking a bit grey. “Thanks, Jiro. I really appreciate this.”

Jiro smiled warmly, her dark eyes completely gentle as she watched him place the cash in his case. “It’s no problem, Midoriya. Tell your mom and the dads that I said hi!”

“I will!”

Izuku waved goodbye and made his way towards the exit. Hitoshi normally waited backstage to take him home, but he’s currently on a date with someone. It wasn’t like Izuku was afraid, but walking alone at night did give him some anxiety.

After all, Izuku is an omega.

In their current society, it was extremely easy for omegas to be victimized. They were completely at the mercy of outside forces, which caused a lot of weaknesses. Dominant pheromones from an alpha could completely shut them down and make them vulnerable to orders.

Alphas didn’t lack in strength like many omegas did, so they could easily overpower anyone slightly weaker than them.

While alphas experienced ruts or periods of extreme arousal, that was nothing on omegas. Omegas experience heats every month, which was a mess of fevers and the need to be knotted.

Ruts could easily be controlled and ignored.

Heats were the opposite.

If an omega was to go into heat while in public, that left them at the mercy of any alpha nearby. An alpha could take what they want, regardless of consent, and not be held liable.

So, yes.

Walking alone made Izuku slightly nervous.

As Izuku walked down the dimly-lit street, he was aware of the different smells. He could smell cigarettes and cheap perfume, all containing a mix of omega pheromones. It was slightly fruity and stale, making his stomach churn.

Don’t focus on -

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

Fucking fuck.

Izuku’s blood ran cold as someone yanked him backward, grabbing at the soft skin of his cheeks. “I’m just walking home. I-I have people waiting on me, so-“

Bright blue eyes locked with his.

Dabi.

Shit.

“I almost don’t recognize you without the mask, bunny.”

Izuku’s soft green eyes immediately hardened as he shoved the drunk alpha off of him. “Don’t touch me, Dabi. We both know that I can kick your ass in or out of the ring.”

Dabi growled, grabbing Izuku by the hoodie again. “It’s a shame you got such a smart mouth, bunny. I might’ve considered marking you.”

So fucking gross…

“Get fucked, Dabi.” Izuku snapped, pushing him back again.

The blue-eyed alpha huffed, causing the intense smell of alcohol to waft over the omega. “Why are you being such a frigid bitch, bunny? Sounds like someone needs a nice kn-“

Izuku pulled his arm back and punched the alpha square in the jaw.

Dabi released him and shot back, muffling a bunch of curses as he rubbed his jaw. Judging from his pheromones, he was obviously pissed off.

But then again, so was Izuku.

���You little bitch.” Dabi growled, standing at his full height.

Izuku scoffed, widening his stance and shifting into an all too familiar position. In the street light, the bandages on the omega’s fingers were much more visible than before.

The small omega clenched his jaw. “I’d stop it with the insults, Dabi. I’d hate to kick your ass again.”

Dabi lunged, but Izuku quickly ducked.

In a quick move, the small omega landed a harsh kick to the alpha’s stomach. It was a cheap move, but Izuku didn’t care.

He’s always hated pigs, anyway.

Before the small omega could move, though, Dabi growled and grabbed him by the hair. He yanked Izuku upright and shoved him towards the wall of the alley.

Shit.

Dabi chuckled lowly, placing his knee between Izuku’s legs and wrapping his hands around his throat. “You look pretty with my hands around your throat. Maybe I should-“

“What the fuck are you doing?”

The scarred alpha froze, his blue eyes flickering to the entrance. After a few seconds, Dabi immediately scowled. “Mind your business, golden boy.”

Golden boy?

Izuku struggled under Dabi’s grip, feeling slightly light-headed as the seconds continued to pass. “Le-let me-“

“Fuck off, staple-face.”

And just like that, the pressure on Izuku’s throat was gone.

Izuku coughed and gasped as his world adjusted, his green eyes landing on the mess of fighting alpha’s in front of him. The smell of cigarette ash was now accompanied by caramel and cinnamon, which shouldn’t have made his heart race.

Alphas.

Izuku inwardly scoffed, rubbing his throat as he slowly made his way towards the exit. The sooner he got home, the better.

He really doesn’t want to be yelled at by Aizawa.

“I’m sure your dad would hate to watch me kick your ass, stitches. He probably wants to do it himself!”

Izuku snickered softly, glancing back to look at the fighting match.

Dabi was completely unconscious on the ground, nearly overshadowed by the mysterious alpha. This same alpha was dressed in a black hoodie and baseball cap, which hid his face pretty well.

The small omega made a mental note to remember this when he fights Dabi next week. These nicknames were top-notch.

The alpha fixed his jacket, spinning to face Izuku.

Shit. Shit. Abort.

Izuku squeaked and turned to bolt. At this point, plenty of people were exiting the club. Plenty of people would probably help him if he screamed.

“Not so fast, freckles.”

The small omega was pulled back yet again.

Izuku spun around, his green eyes sharp as he bared his teeth in an obvious snarl. “Don’t touch me! I’m not sucking your dick just because you felt the need to play hero.”

Red eyes locked with his.

And for a second, that split second, Izuku felt like the world stood still. Instead of some ugly alpha with questionable intentions, this alpha simply looked annoyed and frustrated.

Not the usual type to defend Izuku in an alleyway.

“What the fuck are you doing out so late by yourself?”

Izuku blinked, pulling himself out of his daze as sweet caramel greeted his nose. “Does it matter?”

The alpha’s eyes twitched. “I think it does. Any omega with a bit of common sense would know not to be by themselves at this time of night.”

“I’m not most omegas.”

Izuku’s words caused the tiniest smirk to dawn on the alpha’s face.

This mysterious alpha was much taller than Izuku and definitely stronger. The hood of his jacket covered ash-blond hair, but no amount of darkness could hide those eyes. And even more so, it was obvious that he had a resting bitch face.

“Hah?! A resting what?”

Ah, fuck.

Izuku blushed bright red, chewing on his bottom lip in an attempt to keep his mouth shut. “I-ignore that. I tend to mumble a lot.”

The alpha narrowed his eyes. “I can see that, freckles. But what the fuck were you doing out here by yourself?”

I’m not helpless…

“I can handle myself. I don’t need your help.”

The alpha scoffed loudly, his scowl becoming more prominent on his face. “Don’t be fucking reckless. If I wasn’t here, Stitches would’ve done worse than choke you.”

Izuku rolled his eyes. “I had it handled.”

“Stop lying to yourself, freckles.”

The small omega clenched his jaw and pulled himself free of the alpha’s grip. His skin felt hot with fury and annoyance, especially since this alpha seemed so arrogant.

Izuku walked out of the alley, adjusting the strap of his guitar case and glancing around. The sidewalk was still full of people, so he was probably safe to finish walking home.

Before he could do so, however, a warm hand grasped his arm.

“Hold on, freckles. Let me walk you home.”

Izuku froze, glaring suspiciously at the alpha next to him. “I’m not helpless, you know. I don’t need a big, strong alpha to walk me home.”

Thank god for sarcasm.

The alpha shrugged, releasing Izuku’s arm and waited to follow him. “I’d feel much better knowing that you got home okay. I don’t want to see your fucking face on the news, freckles.”

Freckles? That’s the best you got?

“Fine.”

The small omega looked away from the alpha and started walking home, his heart fluttering in his chest as the smell of caramel enveloped him. Izuku’s never been good with attractive people, though.

Especially alphas with red eyes, which is his favorite color.

“What’s your name, nerd?”

Izuku blinkled, adjusting his hoodie. “I have enough survival instincts not to tell you. Stick to the shitty nicknames.”

The alpha huffed. “They’re not shitty!”

“I’m not convinced.”

Blondie {which Izuku decided to call him} growled in obvious annoyance, easily keeping up with the short omega. “Don’t you want to know my name? I’m sure you’re curious, shitty nerd.”

Izuku shrugged, glancing both ways before crossing a dimly-lit street. “Not really. It’s not like I’ll ever see you again.”

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“Because it’s obvious that you’ve never been here before.”

Blondie gave him a sideways glance, his red eyes glinting in the street light. “I’m that obvious? What gave it away, freckles?”

Izuku chewed on his bottom lip, slowing down as his apartment complex came into view. “If you were, then you would’ve known that I can handle Dabi. This won’t be the last time he tries to kick my ass.”

Silence.

Hehe.

“So he does that often?”

Izuku stopped in front of his complex, turning to glance at the red-eyed alpha. “More than you’d think.”

The alpha nodded, looking up at the apartment complex. “Well, I’m glad that you let me walk you home. Should I follow you inside?”

“I’m not too comfortable with that, Blondie.’

Blondie froze, shooting Izuku a scowl. “Don’t call me that, shitty nerd.”

Izuku snickered, punching a code into the door and opening it. “Thanks for the entertainment, Blondie. I’m sure that you’ll get better with the nicknames.”

He went inside, leaving alpha outside.

Thank god that’s over.

*****

AUTHOR’S NOTE

I’ve caved and decided to cross-post here! I’m loving the community on here and definitely enjoy the responses I’ve received!

All the love love love,

Ash <3

[lizacstuff]

Hi! What did you think of ep23?I love your in depth thoughts on the episodes. I really enjoyed it, especially the EdSer moments (was smiling like an idiot during the skating scene - when Eda complained about it being hot (girl same), and also that she understood what he said in French omg). I hope the grandmother doesn't turn out to be as evil as everyone is assuming. I guess the one big con was Ayfer. She's gotten more annoying right? That's not just me? But I love me some Aydan!

Hello! Thank you for the kind words. Let's see, I did like the episode, but as I said in another ask I was a bit on edge while watching for a couple of reasons, but they're all Edser related so I'll talk about that when I talk about them at the end. As far as Ayfer is concerned, I FEEL YOU. 

Good grief, woman. Why does she have to be such a harpy? It feels like she complains about absolutely everything. Plus, she's forcing a situation where her beloved niece can't trust or confide in her, and all the girls have to hide Eda's work schedule from her. Look, if Ayfer doesn't want to spend time with Aydan, fine, but her anger towards and disapproval of Eda's job and her relationship with Serkan are completely selfish. She may tell herself she's disapproving for Eda's own good, but come on.

Because, seriously, what does Ayfer think she's protecting Eda from? Serkan is handsome, rich, successful and head over heels in love with Eda. Let's be honest, Eda could do worse. He might be a tad arrogant and controlling, but he's a very good man with a very good heart. Also he tries with Ayfer. I get the connection with Alptekin is upsetting, but Serkan and Aydan have cut him completely out of their lives and neither had anything to do with what happened. I also get that Ayfer was put off by the whole contract thing, but it took two to tango there, and Eda's entire world opened up because of that arrangement.

Maybe that's the problem? 

(more under the cut)

Maybe Ayfer can feel Eda expanding and growing and her world getting much bigger than Ayfer's and it scares her? She thinks she'll lose her, or won't recognize her? Privately, Serkan and Eda have talked about running away together, maybe Ayfer senses that's a possibility? (PRO TIP: Then don't be a negative force they have to get away from!) 

Also what's happening with this Chef Alexander thing? Is he actually going to make an appearance? Is there going to be a romance? I think that would be good, maybe that will salvage Ayfer's character and she'll get distracted and maybe even happy. I did laugh, though, at her her calling Aydan and Seyfi out on their lie about having him on board with their charity scheme. They should know better than to try that. Amateur move, kids!  But I will always applaud their matchmaking efforts when it comes to Eda and Serkan. 

I enjoyed the girls this episode. I like that they don't share Ayfer's concerns about Serkan and are ready to go to the mat for whatever Eda wants. Poor Melo is the worst detective, but she gets points for trying. Also points for picking up what Eda was putting down and skillfully sweeping Balca and her broken heel out of the way. I'd want Fifi for protection as well, girl is badass. I can't tell what this Fifi/Erdem thing is supposed to be.  Does she have a soft spot for him, she must because I don't know why she would give him the time of day otherwise. She's not one we have to worry about not being able to say no. If she wanted to rid herself of his presence, she'd do it. Ceren and Ferit are just kind of... there. I don't dislike it, but I also don't really care. They need something to spice that up.

Which is what we finally got with Engin and Piril! Holy moly, who is her dad!?! Mafia boss? Politician? Wealthy recluse? @alicekepley suggested on another post that maybe it's Aydan's first love. Now that would be interesting. Maybe he turned to a life of crime after being disappointed by Aydan? I am now looking forward to see how this plays out and how it affects them. However, there's one thing that gets me almost every episode. I love Engin and Anil, but he looks at least a decade older than Serkan, Piril, and Selin. So much so that I don't buy they could have gone to school together. This is where I'll have to call on my well honed suspension of disbelief I guess... I'll tell myself he spent a lot of time in the sun and is graying a bit prematurely. 

I did like Engin and Serkan sitting around commiserating about their relationships and hoping things were about to turn around. That's the more equal buddy talk I want to know happens. 

Speaking of Serkan, duuuuuuuuude. You're being hunted, wise up!  I'm really stuck on what he said to Sirius after Eda left his house at the top of the episode. "Don't look at me like that, everything is under control, I know perfectly well what I'm doing, this is my tactic." We know from last episode he thought Eda would show, and this episode while talking to Eda he told her that he was expecting her and the candles were for her.  So... did he purposely allow Balca in to provoke Eda's jealousy? If so, I'm not sure this is his best course of action. It's certainly not with regards to fanning Balca's dangerous pretensions, but I'm not sure he's getting his best result with Eda either. It's true that it gave him an excuse to flirt, make the bet, tease her, bask in her obvious jealousy even if she won't admit it, and get a Parisian date out of it. I suppose that's not a bad day's work. On the other hand, if he'd sent Balca on her way, he would have had a happy Eda, in his house, sitting on the couch next to him, watching a movie with him, which also could have led to a very good place for him.  

It's also a mystery to me if Serkan is really clueless about Balca's intentions, or if he's playing dumb to suit his own purposes with Eda. I'm thinking it's the middle. He probably sees it but thinks it's a whole lot more harmless than it is. Like maybe he gets Balca has a crush on him, but he has no suspicion that he's in dangerous fatal attraction territory. Which is where we are. I don't want to fling words like 'crazy' around, but... bitch be crazy! If she is capable of trying to large-scale sabotage his company in her pursuit of him, that's some seriously scary stuff. WAKE UP, SERKAN. 

I said I was uneasy while watching this episode and part of it was concern over what would happen with the tender, and worrying if Balca's sabotage was going to work, leaving Eda to blame. If that had gone the other way, the fallout would have been painful. Also storylines where a fav is falsely accused always make me antsy. I was able to handle the Serkan roof collapse one because it was at the end of the episode, and they were able to figure out that he wasn't responsible right off the top of the next. But this one had me on edge all ep.  I was especially nervous after Eda made the independent report on her recommended firm part of a trust test. Sweetie, I love you, but NOOOOO. That was not the move of a professional. Serkan, as the company principle, wanting to vet a partner or vendor is completely normal and has nothing to do with how much he trusts her. Put aside the fact that she's only been in the workforce for a few months, you always want a second set of eyes on something that important. Always. She showed some of her immaturity there, which is fine, she's young and inexperienced, but it's a sign of how desperate Serkan is for her to forgive him that he humored her. That man will do anything for her, even if it doesn't make sense or is potentially damaging. I get why the writer's did it, for the suspense of Eda being out on that limb all on her own, but it was also actually a bit of a missed opportunity for him to mentor her there. (And I love when she learns from him.)

The other reason I was uneasy watching this ep was due to some frustration with Eda. See above on the trust test, but it was also a little hard to watch her just completely succumb to Serkan's charm and be in the moment with him one moment, and then the next second shake it off and be adamant that she was going to be leaving the job and him shortly.  It felt like constant whiplash. Also if she won the bet she wanted him to leave her alone? Sure, Jan. She could have asked for something really good! We all know she doesn’t really want him to leave her alone, so that pretense has gotten harder and harder to take. However, the times she rebuffed him didn't bother me as much as when she told Melo she was leaving the job. I can chalk up the ones to Serkan as part of her act, trying to protect herself and poke holes in his pretensions, but when she said it to Melo it felt more real. Like that was really what she was still planning to do, and it's really hard to reconcile that with all the moments where she puts down her guard and it's obvious she's madly in love with him.  

On a positive note, scenes where it’s clear they’re madly in love with each other were plentiful this episode. The romantic robot used every opportunity he could find to make her melt. My GAWD she has a will of iron that she was able to back away from him after he recited all the ways he could tell if a woman (her) was in love with him. He is one smooth bastard. And boy does he know her, he knows exactly what he does to her. That scene was FIRE. Not to be crass, but how did they not do it right then and there? After the last few eps, they have to be at a 100 on a scale of 1-10 when it comes to pent up sexual energy. Hey Eda, maybe you wouldn't be so jealous if you knew he had an outlet for that. I'm just sayin'.

The lunch was pretty funny and I definitely enjoyed the kicking and the under the table conversation. After refusing to admit she was jealous, Eda totally deserved that Serkan said that whatever Balca's feelings for him were, they were between him and Balca. Eeesh. I see what he's doing, he's trying to bring her feelings out into the open, and she deserves it, but I don't think he realizes how vulnerable she is over everything. He's walking a tightrope here. However, I do appreciate that he finally just admitted that he's jealous. If he'd just done that in 18, he would have saved himself some angst. Are we to infer from Serkan asking Eda not to use emojis with Efe, that Edser likes to use emojis when they text? Or was that just a generic, "don't be cute with him?"  I think I'll take that Serkan and Eda use emojis, just because it tickles me to think of Serkan Bolat doing that. All of shipper twitter thinks that's the writers poking at the actors because of how much they use them with one another on social. Who knows, maybe that explains it, since it sort of came out of the blue. You gotta love, though, that every manipulative thing Balca did either failed or backfired spectacularly. Showing up at his place, sure she succeeded in upsetting Eda and derailing their night, but it also put Eda on her guard and brought about the flirty wager between Eda and Serkan. She left the earring, but Eda found it before she could use it as an excuse to return. She broke her heel, but that just gave her a ruined pair of shoes and Melo an excuse to get her out of there so Serkan and Eda could be alone. She and her devious friend succeeded in throwing Melo and Eda off the scent, however all that meant was that Serkan won the bet and gave him the pretense needed to get her to agree to the most romantic date on the planet. She sabotaged the report, but Eda still found out about the company's background and Eda was the hero when ArtLife won the tender. Balca: 0 percent success rate so far. 

THE ICE SKATING SCENES WERE PURE MAGIC!  It was fun to see the whole cast out there having a blast, but obviously it was the Edser scene at night that lit up the whole show. Damn was that pretty. (it's currently my ipad lock screen and home screen) The chemistry between the actors was on display all episode, but here it just exploded. When Eda said she was hot, no kidding! How could you not be? And I agree that Serkan speaking French to her was OMG. Love, love, love the date that Serkan planned for them in Paris. I'm bereft that we'll likely never see it. Damn you pandemic, look what you've taken from us! The characters, and the audience, deserve an entire episode of Paris romantic fluff. We've all earned this! 

The date sounded perfect and I found it very interesting that he had purposely never been to Montmartre. So at some point he promised himself he'd only go there with a woman he was truly in love with, makes me wonder if it was a much younger Serkan who made that promise. The Serkan we met in the pilot didn't believe in love, he was hard-hearted, he actually talked with Engin about how a contract, a bloodless business transaction, was the way to go for relationships. Robot Bolat. So I don't think he made that idealistic promise any time recently. If so, that means he's had that in the back of his mind for years, but Eda's the only woman he's ever considered taking. My heart. I love how the show keeps showing us and telling us that this is the first time Serkan has ever been in love. You could see in that scene that Eda was right there with him. She was so happy and in the moment and swept away by the romance. She was as excited for Paris as he was. I know we all wanted a kiss/declaration here, it would have been a very good moment for it. A very good one. But the show has other plans for them, so we wait.

So, yeah, I really liked the Edser we got, but Eda’s hot and cold act was hard to reconcile at times. However, perhaps it all came together in the end, when she's talking to Melo and Ceren about Paris. She was feeling troubled over it, probably what agreeing to go with him meant, but they both told her to listen to her heart in Paris and it seems like she was going to do it: "From now on I'll stop worrying. I'm opening a new page in life." So I think in that moment she was ready for next steps and was planning to be open with him in Paris, let's hope it carries over to the next episode even without Paris. 

Actually, that whole conversation was a bit of a window into her psyche and was more illuminating than almost anything in the episode in that regard. When Eda says she’s worried, Melo teases her that she's nervous to be alone with Serkan Bolat, and then jokes that all young women would like to have that problem, including herself.  Eda does NOT like that joke and actually verbalizes it, "Melo, at least you don't do that."  That was a huge spotlight into Eda's insecurities, like she is really discombobulated by witnessing women showing interest in him while they're in such a nebulous place. Since she is coming off of what happened with Selin, and was already feeling jealous when the first candidate set her off with (her creepy) talk of chemistry last episode, then finding Balca at Serkan's house in the opening scene, I suppose it's no surprise that all of that has had some residual effects. But that it's to the point where she can't take a joke from Melo is telling. Poor thing.  

My hope is that this is just something she's working through while she's feeling off-kilter about everything. It would be one thing if they were together, but she's in this headspace where half the time she says she's leaving and it's over between them and half the time she acting like his wife, so I think she's just discombobulated. Maybe she just wants time to figure things out, but feels like she doesn’t have it, because someone is going to swoop in and take her place and that’s feeding her jealousy? The fact that Serkan can’t see it (Selin and Balca) until it’s out of control doesn’t help. 

It's natural for her to be upset that this woman has entered the scene and is clearly trying to maneuver herself into Eda's place in Serkan's life. However, there is an easy fix to this. Just go be with him. Come on, Eda, we know you can do it! You're ready. You’re primed. Bring on the New Year's Ep!

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: “Gravity”

Good lord, folks. Buckle your seat-belts because we’ve got a lot to get through this episode. I think this is my longest recap to date, so settle in.

Episode Eleven’s “Gravity” starts out simple enough, focusing on the two fights we’d set up during “Out in the Open.” First up, Ironwood vs. Watts. Overall this fight does a really excellent job of showcasing their different fighting styles. Right from the start Watts is pointing his gun forward to take a clear shot at Ironwood, whereas Ironwood points his backwards to use as a surge of momentum.

He’s going to do this frequently throughout the battle, constantly using his gun to maneuver in the air, slow falls, regain his balance, and change directions, a much more complicated series of choices than the one-off shots we see Ruby use with her sniper rifle. This is partly because Ironwood seems to have a much larger supply of bullets---some sort of energy/dust ammo---than Watts does. His steampunk-esque gun holds only nineteen bullets, requiring him to keep track throughout the fight. Which is always a fun trope but sorry, Watts, you can’t compare to the king.

Thus, with limited weaponry available to him, Watts is forced to get creative with the arena itself. We see him manipulating gravity, shooting up columns of water and fire, and making use of his own pathways between platforms, all in an effort to throw Ironwood off and catch up unawares. However, Ironwood is, frankly, the much better fighter. He was right last week to assume he could handle Watts even though he sent three off to tackle Tyrian. He’s able to recover much more quickly and learns from any mistakes, as evidenced by his ability to hit Watts dead on while in the air the second time he takes out the gravity. When they come together in hand-to-hand Ironwood easily dominates, no doubt thanks not just to his military training and huntsmen lifestyle, but also in large part to his prosthetics which I would assume grant him more speed and power. Throughout the course of the fight we see Watts consistently take more damage to his aura and he’s unable to sense when Ironwood is sneaking up on him. After that little maneuver, Watts (presumably) grows reckless and lets off his last three or four shots in a random barrage. All of them miss.

This emphasis on emotion continues when they land back onto the main stage with Watts shouting, “You never appreciated my genius, James! You just stood atop it and called yourself a giant.” Oh, did Ironwood actually do something horrendous in the past? Is there something juicy that would explain---though not excuse---Watts’ turn towards villainy? Nah. He quickly follows that up with, “You chose that fat imbecile over me!” referring to Pietro. So... nice one, Watts. Crazy arrogance, willful ignorance of Pietro’s own, clear genius (anyone who can create Penny is no slouch), as well as a bit of fat-shamming on top of it all. No sympathy from me.

This moment emphasizes how unhinged Watts is becoming though as the fight turns against him. Even when he manages to setup a head shot Ironwood reveals, “You’re smart, but you’re not the only one who can count,” referencing that Watt’s emotions got the better of him, leading to him wasting his last bullet before it could be of real use.

...except not. I’ve got to admit, I was very pleased when all of this---or at least this particular moment---was merely a plan to get Ironwood to let his guard down. Watts is way too smart a character to be done in by the “You got too emotional and that made you sloppy” trope. So kudos there (even if it remains to be seen whether that Pietro comment was really his motivation, or just another part of the plan). Instead, he uses Ironwood’s confidence in his victory to trap him with the rings that control the arena, essentially pinning Ironwood’s non-prosthetic arm through the energy shields he’s been using. We can immediately see that the parts that have touched Ironwood already have horribly burned the skin.

And that ends up being Watt’s downfall. Not stupidity on his own part, but his lack of understanding of Ironwood himself. He assumes that this truly is a trap for him, rather than another sacrifice. After all, what fool would ruin their one remaining arm to stop him? Watts himself wouldn’t. Don’t pull, he cautions Ironwood, not “unless you’re hoping to add more metal to that body of yours.” Watts goes so far as to turn his back on Ironwood who then makes the sacrifice we all knew he would. One burned, useless arm later and he’s free.

I would like everyone to keep this moment in mind. Namely the utter devastation of it. I’d go so far as to say it’s as bad at Yang losing her arm in Volume 3. Despite seeing it bandaged later, Watts at least thinks it will be a complete loss if Ironwood sacrifices it. He’ll need to “add more metal,” AKA replace his arm, so though he obviously still has it in the following scenes, we don’t know if it will ever be functional again. Just as important, Ironwood had to choose to do that to himself. That wasn’t a horrific, but ultimately clean cut done in a moment of surprise. That was a conscious decision, a slow pull through all that pain, and then having to finish your fight immediately afterward. It’s a very different kind of psychological trauma, no better or worse than having someone take your arm from you by force. Throughout this volume I’ve seen a lot of fans being critical not only of Ironwood’s main decisions, but just his overall attitude as well. Too strict, too stern, doesn’t smile enough, yells sometimes, etc. basically associating someone who isn’t all sunshine and smiles with someone who is “bad.” Ignoring for the moment that we can say the same thing about many of our group---notably Yang---I have little doubt that I’ll see similar posts after this episode. Writings in the vein of, “Ironwood is unhinged! I can’t believe he yelled and hit his desk like that!” So everyone just keep this moment in mind and ask yourself how calm you’d be if you’d sacrificed your arm like that all of half an hour ago. And then found Salem’s calling card on your desk. And then came to the realization that the allies you trusted have been lying to you from the start. And then Salem herself appears to mock you. And then your city is about to be overrun. Basic summary of the rest of the episode: holy shit. So yeah. If Yang is allowed to be angry and upset after losing her arm, or just angry in general like she is in the later half of “Gravity,” I think we owe it to Ironwood to let him be angry too. I have a lot of feelings about the utter insanity he’s been forced through with little to no support and if he wants to take all that out by hitting his desk once, by god I’d say that’s a good coping strategy given the circumstances. Both the writing and the fans tend to erase trauma once you’ve passed age 25. The girls have every right to be upset, to break, to not trust people because they’ve been through a few months of hardship, but Ozpin isn’t allowed the same after a couple thousand years of that. We’re going to see the same hypocrisy later in this episode---the group can be upset about lies but Ironwood is not---and I’m hoping (against hope) that the fandom doesn’t make that worse by sweeping this injury under the rug. It’s horrific and absolutely has a bearing on his inability to keep his cool with the group immediately afterwards. We’ve long passed Ironwood owing them endless reassurances and calm responses. 

Anyway, Ironwood still manages to finish the fight because his remaining arm is his robotic one, giving him the strength to easily drag and raise Watts into the air one-handed. He dangles him over the edge of the arena, announcing that he will “sacrifice whatever it takes to stop [Salem].” A clear bit of foreshadowing for his decision at the end of the episode. Watts responds that he hopes he does.

We then move to the Tyrian fight which, on the whole, I don’t think was done quite as well. Granted, there are a lot of enjoyable and badass moments. I like that Clover’s first act is to announce that Tyrian is under arrest, maintaining the law that Atlas (and Ironwood) works to uphold. It doesn’t matter that Tyrian is a crazy serial killer in league with an immortal sorceress hell-bent on destroying the world. Even crazy serial killers have rights and are given the option of surrendering, even when everyone present knows there’s exactly zero chance of that happening. It’s the principal of the thing and the ability to say, “We gave him a chance.” In a world overrun with inequality, this is a small but important attempt to level the field. If you do something wrong you face legal action and those rights are announced to you. Same for Tyrian. Same for Team RWBY. But we’ll get to that.

For now, we see Qrow attack first and like back in Volume Four he and Tyrian are pretty evenly matched. The tide doesn’t turn until Robyn and Clover come into play. Throughout this exchange we see a lot of cool combos among the three of them. Tyrian will block an incoming arrow with his tail only for Clover to snag it with his hook. Robyn can get another arrow to perfectly bounce off the walls and then Qrow’s scythe, hitting Tyrian dead on. Clover can dive between Tyrian’s legs, giving Qrow the opening he needs to attack. It is, as said, pretty badass... almost a little too badass. Personally, I would have appreciated them messing up once or twice. They’re all professionals, yes, but Qrow and Clover have only had one fight together. Robyn, meanwhile, wasn’t even allied with them until an hour ago. This is a situation where skills shouldn’t really trump, “We’re three very distinct people who don’t know each other’s fighting styles well, trying to attack one guy in very close quarters.” There should have been some screw-ups. Especially when we take semblances into account. What, are we supposed to assume here that Clover’s semblance just conveniently overrides Qrow’s? That no mistakes---let alone anything bad---will happen in this fight despite the fact that it’s an extreme parallel to Volume Four? That whole battle emphasized, “Don’t come closer!” because when people fight near Qrow bad shit happens. Now, he fights with two other people in a narrow alleyway and there’s not a single repercussion. Based on their travels looking for the geist, I don’t buy that Qrow’s semblance is just conveniently inactive while near Clover. Even if I did... that’s not a very good writing decision. To me, it’s just more evidence that Rooster Teeth doesn’t understand its own rules/doesn’t know what to do with an ability like Qrow’s. It causes problems only when they explicitly want it to. Then, miraculously, it’s no longer in effect.

Still, we’ll acknowledge that RWBY had a lot else it wanted to accomplish in this episode, so the need to power through this fight is somewhat justified. I personally would have had the entirety of this episode be the two battles---I was shocked when both ended just eight minutes in---but I’m obviously not the one writing the show. Thus, instead of an episode devoted to both the action and the emotion of confronting our two main villains this volume, Tyrian loses his cool after getting punched in the gut, manages to catch Robyn’s arrow in his teeth... 

But it’s a bomb. 

Down he goes. Fight’s done.

Which leads us into the second half of the episode. I want to preface this with a short acknowledgment before we go any further.

Did these last ten minutes give me what I’ve been looking for since the beginning of Volume Six? No. It’s easy to assume it did because all the pieces are there. Ironwood is finally angry about the secret keeping. The Ace Ops are criticizing the group left and right. Surely this is the “The group is capable of making mistakes and they should be called out for it!” that I wanted, right? Not really. For the simple reason that there is a massive difference between:

A story that acknowledges mistakes as mistakes. The characters either grow from this lesson or dig in their heels and are painted as being in the wrong for that decision.

and

A story that takes what the audience (me) perceives as mistakes and frames them as justified choices. The characters do not grow because they’re 100% sure they’re in the right and those who would criticize them are painted as in the wrong. 

“Gravity” is so far into that second option I don’t think the series can come back from it. Does the group face criticism? Yes, but every single time the writing insists that it’s undeserved criticism. It paints the group as the underdogs facing unfair odds, rather than equals---with all the responsibility that comes with that---facing criticism that they need to own up to. Absolutely nothing in this second half implies that the group is going to learn from their mistakes because they, and the writing, still insists that they weren’t mistakes. Which is precisely what we’ve gotten before. Cordovin might criticism them, but Cordovin is in the wrong. Winter might criticism them, but Winter is in the wrong. Every time a character goes, “Hey, you shouldn’t have done this” the group responds with, “Yes we should have!” and the story backs them up. Yes, you should have attacked Argus. Yes, you should have stolen an airship. Yes, you should have lied to Ironwood and spilled the secret to Robyn. Yes, yes, yes. That’s the takeaway every single time. The group is never in the wrong. Others just think they are and those others are painted as cruel, militaristic, unhinged characters.

It’s not at all what I was looking for. Just more of the same.

So that’s the preface. In terms of what we actually get, Ironwood returns to his office with his arm bandaged and in a sling, carrying Watts’ bag, only to drop it when he sees the queen piece on his desk. He calls Winter asking, “Was anyone caught entering the school grounds while I was away?” and when she says no Ironwood has her race off to the Winter Maiden, unknowingly leading Cinder there in the process. “Now show me where you’ve been hiding her.”

We then cut to the group where the trouble begins. They’re not just curious about why Ironwood is recalling them with Mantle still in need of evacuation, they’re actively questioning it. This is the attitude I simply don’t understand. The group acts as if Ironwood is deliberately screwing everyone over when they know better. This is no longer the beginning of the volume where they thought he was some horrific dictator hell bent on destroying his own Kingdom. This is just an hour or so after, “We should tell Ironwood!” and the happy-go-lucky ‘We trust him now’ moment. Even less time after Ruby stared up at him in awe with, “He’s doing it.” They had reason to trust him before they even made it to Atlas. They were given even more reasons in the form of Ironwood sharing his secrets, early licenses, and being allowed to work on the tower. They then still waited until Ironwood was doing everything they wanted before giving him some of that trust back... but the moment he stops doing precisely what they want---we want to keep evacuating Mantle---he’s deemed suspicious again. 

I mean seriously, is the group that dense? Are they incapable of thinking to themselves, “Wow, something must have happened if Ironwood is recalling us before evacuations are complete,” which is precisely the case. The scene tries to frame it as “Group Good” and “Ace Ops Blinding Obeying Orders Bad” but that aspect doesn’t even come into play. There’s nothing blind about it. It simply takes two seconds of critical thinking skills to realize that something really awful must have happened back at the Academy that trumps what you’re doing in Mantle. This is what I mean by the writing being biased. Before we even reach the fight in Ironwood’s office it’s trying to paint him as potentially cruel, potentially suspicious, potentially abandoning his people, look how worried our heroes are about this secret decision he’s made... when all that requires ignoring some really basic deduction in order to reach those assumptions. Remember that intelligence is a plot device in RWBY. If they want Ironwood forced to spill his secrets, he’ll randomly start talking about them in front of his enemies. If they want Ironwood painted as the villain, the group will randomly be incapable of realizing that maybe, just maybe, something went wrong on the home front and you’re needed there.

Things just get so much worse from then on. The group splits with JNR going off to find Oscar and, admittedly, I was shocked we got that at all. I mean yeah, it’s setup for the final reveal at the end of the episode, but the fact that anyone remembered Oscar was missing---let alone happily went off to find him---was still a surprise. So only Team RWBY heads back to Ironwood’s office where they find him (rightfully) panicking over the queen on his desk. Weiss tries to baby him, acting like he’s freaking out over nothing, when all these characters should recall precisely what Ironwood himself points out: the last time we saw this symbol it was a message that Beacon had fallen. He’s not paranoid here. He’s entirely justified in his panic. Ironwood likewise points out that they may have been duped into bringing thousands of people into Atlas as easy targets and Vine agrees, setting up that the Ace Ops are on Team Ironwood throughout the course of this conversation. Not out of blind loyalty, but because he’s right. That is a concern. That may be the plan. We do need to try and do something about that. Team RWBY, however, isn’t convinced.

That is, until Ruby realizes that the chess piece is made of black glass. Which means Cinder left it. Normally I’d congratulate her on that deduction---it is the one smart move we see Ruby pull this whole episode---but I just hate what follows. Namely that Ruby and Ruby alone controls her team’s opinions on a situation. Again. We saw it back in the snow, then again when Blake announced in the elevator that they’d do whatever she wanted. Team RWBY is the one who blindly follows their leader, not the Ace Ops, the only exception being Blake and Yang going rogue in regards to Robyn, but we see that hive-mind mindset here again. Ironwood brings up a good point? Nothing. Ace Ops support that point with more logic? Nothing. Ruby supports it? Oh, suddenly Weiss and Blake are taking this seriously. Suddenly Yang is fired up and ready to do whatever is necessary. Ruby controls the room. It’s only when she’s on board that her teammates decide this is worth getting riled up about.

Which, as I’ve said before, is a horrible way to write a diverse group. Especially when the writing is trying to paint the Ace Ops as mindless soldiers. For all their claims that they just have to follow orders, they’re the only ones parsing through this situation and coming to their own conclusions. It’s just that their conclusions do end up aligning with Ironwood’s which is the “bad” take in this scene. Team RWBY, however, waits until their leader makes a decision and then simply rides her cloak tails. The day that Blake, Yang, or Weiss legitimately disagree with Ruby---not a token “Are you sure we should keep secrets from Ironwood? We’re not actually challenging this. Just checking in”---is the day the writing will disagree with her. AKA, no time soon.

Blake tries to give some bland reassurance about them all being with Ironwood to which he responds, “Are you with me? How did Robyn know about the global communications tower?” Thank you! Thank you for giving us Ironwood’s characterization back and acknowledging that he has no reason to buy their generic ‘Got your back’ statements when everything they’ve done this volume has proven otherwise. They don’t support Ironwood, only themselves and their own teams. The minute he does something they don’t like he’s chucked under the bus. Too bad the writing doesn’t acknowledge any of this and instead continually paints the group as being justified in their decisions. It’s that hypocrisy again. When the group yells at Ozpin for keeping secrets we’re supposed to be on their side. When the Ace Ops yell at the group for keeping secrets we’re... still supposed to be on their side.

Weiss tries to diffuse the situation with “None of this matters right now!” which is real rich when they were just complaining about Ironwood not telling them why they were called back. They get to worry over that, but Ironwood isn’t allowed to worry about them outright betraying him? “Loyalty always matters!” he shouts back and he’s right. Why should Ironwood trust them to have his back in this crucial moment when they’ve never had it before? I’m already seeing more of this hypocrisy among the fandom. When Ozpin kept secrets and told lies the group was given a whole volume to be pissed about that and fans still, to this very day, insist that it hasn’t been enough time for them to get over it, to regain even a portion of that trust. But now that Ironwood has been lied to and betrayed in the same manner? People are annoyed that he’s not just shrugging it off. How dare you not get over in thirty seconds what our heroes got weeks to work through. His inability to just suck it up, as it were, is used to make him seem irrational here. I don’t see anyone, characters or fans alike, acknowledging that his anger is as righteous as the group’s was out in the snow. That there is the disconnect.

Of course, something has to break the tension. Drawn by all the fury and fear, a grimm pops out of Watts’ bag. A fail-safe for if he was defeated and captured. Salem immediately takes control of the grimm and kills it, using its form to appear before them. She reveals that it doesn’t matter that her men were captured. They were just there to “set the stage,” which they’ve done. Still doesn’t explain the random Penny side plot to my mind (seriously, why did the story bother to resurrect her when she has done nothing plot-wise or emotionally?), but whatever. Much more importantly, the stage is set for Salem herself. She’s approaching with the grimm army we saw her amassing which is... iffy.

First off, why? Why after a thousand years has she suddenly changed her MO from keeping to the sidelines to a full-on attack? Again, what’s the catalyst for that massive change? We don’t know. Meanwhile, from a writing perspective, I’m hesitant about having our Big Bad thrown into the mix before the finale. We know there are plenty of volumes left in this series, which automatically undermines any battle they might have with Salem. Will they win?? Of course not! Because RWBY isn’t over yet. Granted, this could all just be a ruse of some sort. Maybe Salem just wants them to think she’s approaching with an army, which would be much more up her alley in terms of long-distance manipulation. But if not... seriously, what’s the point of that?

Here’s hoping it’s a bluff.

Speaking of manipulation, we get a fantastically creepy moment where Salem tells Ironwood to “simply accept the futility of your situation” while smiling like a kind mother. That’s the Salem who is truly dangerous. Ironwood reaffirms that he won’t give up the relics and Ruby pips up with, “We don’t have to kill you to stop you.”

Hey wait. I’m gonna give you all another graphic.

This is Ozpin’s stance! This is his plan! His version of hope! We spent all of Volume Six having the cast beat on him for, “Omg Salem is immortal?!” and with the exception of Nora’s comment, no discussion of this in Volume Seven... but now suddenly Ruby is making this announcement? The group came to this revelation sometime off screen which we a) don’t get to see and b) once again created no scenario in the form of, “Wow! Ozpin was right all along! Maybe we should go talk to him...”

I’m just... wow. The number of times the writing takes what the group and the adults do, the exact same perspectives and decisions, and twists it so that the group comes out looking like heroes and the adults look like misguided, unhinged fools who need to be put in their place... I’m really over it at this point. And by extension the group themselves. Their characterizations have been so badly mangled at this point I legitimately don’t like them as people. I don’t care if they say they want to protect Mantle, or if they say they’ll support Ironwood, or if they say they’re unsure about their choices. All their actions claim otherwise.

Rather than grappling with the huge revelation that the group is apparently no longer obsessed with Salem’s immortality (or rather that Ruby isn’t. The rest of the group doesn’t actually matter. As established, they sync up with her beliefs the second she announces them), we return to Summer Rose. Salem goes, “Your mother said those words to me” and Ruby... loses it? What? I would have been 100% on board with this if we’d gotten it last Volume because then we saw Ruby losing her cool periodically. The smashed alcohol bottles. Chucking her scroll. Screaming at Qrow. That was all building to something. But then we had a year and roughly twelve episodes of normality. Ruby jumps into her fight with Cordovin and has been fine ever since. Hell, she’s been bubbly and confident, goofing off with Penny in one episode, then giving strong orders to her team in another. The one time we see her falter was in her conversation with Qrow and he reassured her completely that she was both doing the right thing and in no way comparable to Ozpin. Now, suddenly, one line from Salem and Ruby collapses? Full on incapacitated? I could buy the crying while still standing strong, I could buy a collapse if we’d kept her characterization going from Volume Six, but this kind of reaction in this context just felt so extreme. Doesn’t help that I really wasn’t sold on the voice acting here. Those cries sound less like devastated sobs and more like weird hiccups. Not to rag on Lindsay. On the whole I think she does a really excellent job as Ruby, it’s just this particular moment didn’t read right to me. I didn’t feel Ruby’s supposed grief here.

So that was... a lot for one line from Salem in a volume of otherwise confident and cool-headed Ruby. We also don’t see it amounting to anything, as per usual with RWBY’s writing. Ruby isn’t out of commission for the rest of the conversation or anything. She pops right back up after a second in Yang’s lap, just as confident and go-getting as before. There was no lead up to this and there are no consequences for the breakdown. Rooster Teeth honestly seems to think they can just chuck random things into the story---Ruby needs to show emotion at some point!---and then just leave it at that, entirely disconnected from everything else around it. Would we have known that Ruby just had her first breakdown of the series a minute later while once again betraying Ironwood? Nope.

Finally, this scene shows us again that the Argus battle was a bunch of nonsense. Ruby’s eyes nearly activate when she’s grieving for her mother, imagining---or perhaps seeing via Salem?---a sad Summer, not a smiling one. Just like her eyes activated while seeing Pyrrha die. Just like they activated when Blake was nearly killed by the Apathy. They activate now while thinking about her mother’s death. The montage of happy moments in lieu of the sad ones not working last volume was entirely out of place.

Salem finally leaves. Now everyone is panicking about this army. Elm points out that they’ll know if anything approaches. Vine checks and realizes that Watts took out their perimeter. Either that or Salem has already destroyed everyone and everything out there. It’s impossible to know. During all this Blake asks if the Amity tower is actually finished and we get more nonsense about how Ironwood is evil for telling a lie, but the group is always justified in telling theirs. The writing really tried to compare Ironwood telling Mantle---who I guarantee 100% does not care about whether a communications tower is finished while they’re getting attacked by grimm---a lie to lure out one of their biggest threats to Blake and Yang going behind Ironwood’s back to tell a potentially non-trustworthy outlaw about said tower, risking that the information would fall into the wrong hands and doom the project before it could be completed either way. Those are not in any way comparable situations, yet the writing really has Weiss going, “General Ironwood?” in a ‘How could you betray us like that?’ tone while Yang continues to look pissed.

And as if they didn’t know! How is this a personal betrayal? They were all helping to build that tower. Surely they’d know it it was that close to being done. Again, critical thinking skills, people. Anyone with two brain cells and their insider information should have looked at Ironwood’s announcement and gone, “Oh, that must be a bluff. Just a few days ago we were arguing about whether to continue taking resources from Mantle. No way is Amity ready. He’s going after Watts. Who is indeed the much bigger threat. Considering that he has control over the entirety of our technology and there’s literally no downside to telling Mantle about a finished tower when they’re getting devoured by grimm.” This is another, “But lying is wrong!” in the face of “But lying kept us alive...?” 

Does everyone get what I’m saying here? How RWBY takes these situations and tries to paint them in an absolutely ridiculous light, expecting the audience to blindly accept this perspective despite everything else they’ve seen for themselves? Like, two episodes ago? I swear I’ve never encountered writing that treats its audience this badly. Scene after scene relies heavily on the viewer having no ability to think for themselves. Just accept that Ironwood is a horrible person for lying about the tower even though there are no repercussions for that and we JUST watched him defeating Watts as a result. Like, five minutes ago. That just happened. In this episode. 

Ironwood then drops the bomb that Winter has gone off to claim the Maiden power. Interesting development. I wonder what that means exactly. Is she just going to lock herself away until the Maiden dies naturally? Do they have her on some sort of life support and is there an agreement to pull the plug if necessary? Are they going to use a machine similar to the one Pyrrha was in and try to force the change early? Or is this just a misleading comment and Winter is merely off to protect the Maiden, no intention of taking the power now? Who knows. We’ll have to wait until next episode to find out.

Ironwood likewise announces that the staff and the lamp need to be locked away now that they’re compromised, even though they’ve been compromised since they first saw Tyrian in Mantle. Insert another [this scenario is so stupid and contrived] explanation here. It’s made worse by Ruby’s childish “You said we could keep it.” Excuse me? What, did you think the lamp was your personal property now forever and always? Is Ruby really sitting there arguing that something Ironwood told her weeks ago trumps the obvious logic of putting the relic where it’s somewhere safe? That’s the characterization we’re going for, a leader who cares more about, ‘But you said we could have it!’ over the fate of the world? What even is this? The fact that Ironwood has to explain to them that the situation has changed just reinforces the group’s overall attitude. That is, one of arrogance and importance. They literally need to be told why putting the relic in a nearly impenetrable vault is better than letting them have it just because they want it. Plus, you know, they lied about the lamp from the start. So there’s that too.

Finally, Ironwood reveals that Amity was originally a plan of Ozpin’s but he didn’t push it far enough. Instead, he intends to use the staff to lift all of Atlas instead, hopefully taking two relics and a Maiden far out of Salem’s reach. Ruby wants to use the tower for its designed purpose instead, which is only a valid option in her mind because the writing was stupid last week. If there had actually been any logic there---if people had been allowed to react naturally and in a variety of ways to the Salem announcement, rather than a super convenient “Yeah! Let’s all work together!” across an entire, panicking city---she wouldn’t be quite so eager to tell the whole world. But we all know at this point that logic bends to the protagonists’ whims, so Ruby wants that same perfect ending across all of Remnant. She stands her ground, as does her team. Obviously.

Meanwhile, the Ace Ops aren’t just following Ironwood’s orders like the writing wants us to think via Harriet’s earlier comment. Rather, they’re each thinking through the situation for themselves and making very good points. If Salem has taken out our perimeter than we know our tech and people don’t stand a chance against this army. We just finished up the fight in Mantle and none of us are in a position to start another. Notably, Harriet brings this up, the one whose aura took a massive hit while nearly getting crushed underfoot. Vine points out that sometimes you have to lose a battle to win the war, but Team RWBY, to be blunt, simply doesn’t care.

I’ll be blunt myself here too: I don’t have an easy solution to this particular scenario. I don’t know what the “right” or the “wrong” choice is. Weighing starting a fight with VERY high stakes you’ll lose against abandoning the people of Mantle is just a straight up horrific decision. Like so much of what Ozpin faced, there is no clear-cut, good answer here. Do you stand by the people and risk the world, or work to save the world and doom the people? I don’t know and I do commend Rooster Teeth for writing a difficult choice... just not in giving each side the weight it deserves. Because as said, we’re meant to root for Team RWBY, always. Theirs is presented as the “right” choice every time, despite the fact that, as established, this is far from a black and white decision.

What frustrates me the most is when faced with all of these logical and very important considerations (we might not have backup, we’re in no position to fight, if Salem gets the relics and another Maiden the world is screwed) the group won’t even acknowledge these things. They’re so set in their own perspective they won’t even give these HUGE concerns the time of day. Rather, Yang shoots back, “You can’t just back down from a fight!”

That’s it. That’s the group’s problem in a single line.

This is what got Pyrrha killed.

It’s something the group should remember. She also insisted on fighting when she should have retreated and, since this was back during the days when characters actually faced consequences for their actions, it cost Pyrrha her life. Granted, going after Cinder was a truly useless endeavor. Pyrrha achieved nothing with her sacrifice. Here, Team RWBY hopes to save the people of Mantle, adding a clear justification for their insistence on fighting... but this is nevertheless indicative of that larger “punch it until it stops moving” mindset. It’s not that they decide to fight instead of retreating that’s the problem, it’s that to their mind fighting is the only option. Ever. This is what led to them attacking Cordovin and destroying Argus’ mech, drawing a massive grimm in the process. When faced with the option of backing down, Team RWBY doesn’t consider that an option at all. Which is heroic when up against an actual enemy, far less so when you’re facing an ally and the choice to fight has serious repercussions attached to it. Hell, the group doesn’t even consider compromises. They could have easily acknowledged that collecting the relics, the Maiden, and getting the staff to work on Atlas will take time. You do that while we focus on evacuating the rest of Mantle to the city. But no, even the concept of a compromise simply isn’t possible. You just always fight. Straight up. Anyone who suggests anything less isn’t a true huntsmen. “We’re loyal to the people!” Ruby shouts, as if “the people” doesn’t also include the rest of the world that Ironwood is trying to save and that they’re endangering by keeping the relics and Maiden within Salem’s reach. 

That is one messed up perspective to tout in a story infused with the complex and the morally gray.

The real kicker though? Ruby’s ‘My way or the highway’ attitude obliterates a solution that fell straight into her lap. Jaune calls and says straight out that they have another situation. If Ruby had listened to her teammate for just three seconds they all would have learned about Oscar, thereby undermining Ironwood’s plan. He can’t keep the lamp safe if he doesn’t know where it is. You look for it while, again, we evacuate Mantle. Then we take everything out of Salem’s reach. Win-win. Instead, Ruby blasts her way through the situation. Literally, dodging Ironwood and hiding behind his desk shouting a highly bias version of his plan in the hopes of getting everyone on her side. And it works. 

Because those like Clover don’t get to hear any of that context. Like how the perimeter is gone, there’s an army potentially coming, no one is in a position to fight, we’ve already lost a relic... they just here a Ruby’s version of events that paints Ironwood as the callous man Robyn thought he was---oh my god he’s abandoning Mantle for no good reason!---and people will react accordingly. Ruby likewise doesn’t care that shouting such information over all channels does things like, say, clue Tyrian into their plan. She just wants to do things her way, right now. Pausing to think (because thinking isn’t fighting) simply doesn’t happen.

I used to adore Ruby as a hero. Someone who was intrinsically good, hopeful, and wickedly clever in her ability to come out on top. Now she’s stubborn, arrogant, at times cruel, and charges in headfirst like her sister, refusing to consider any perspective other than her own. And her team endlessly supports that. The writing endlessly supports that. This isn’t our hero working through her flaws, but rather a flawed character that the writing refuses to acknowledge is flawed. When Ruby flies behind Ironwood’s desk the music rises triumphantly, just like it did when she attacked Cordovin’s mech. When Ironwood announces that they’re under arrest, Ruby spits back, “We won’t just let you take us” and we’re supposed to cheer.

Which brings us back to the question of whether the group really faced consequences here. Let me give you all a random, non-RWBY example of two scenes. Scenario One:

Parent: You punched her?

Teen: She insulted me!

Parent: I understand that, but that doesn’t mean you were justified in attacking her.

Teen: Oh, I was.

Parent: Maybe you were, maybe you weren’t, but you can’t solve all your problems that way.

Teen: I... I know that, okay. Back off. I just get so angry...

Parent: I know. We’re going to work on that. You’re grounded this weekend. We can discuss this more then.

Teen: [sighs] Fine.

vs. Scenario Two:

Parent: You punched her?

Teen: She insulted me!

Parent: I understand that, but that doesn’t mean you were justified in attacking her.

Teen: Oh, I was.

Parent: Maybe you were, maybe you weren’t, but you can’t solve all your problems that way.

Teen: Screw you! It worked didn’t it? I think a good punch goes a long way.

Parent: That’s not... okay look. You’re grounded this weekend so---

Teen: Like hell I am. [Proceeds to run off]

Teen: [Later to friend] ---and then she tried to ground me? Can you believe that?

Friend: Holy shit what an asshole.

If we put aside my own iffy dialogue for the moment, Scenario One acknowledges the complexity of the situation while likewise pointing out that the teen didn’t handle herself well. RWBY has achieved that here: the ethics of this scenario are acknowledged as complicated, but the group did things they shouldn’t have, as evidence by Ironwood’s anger and the Ace Ops’ criticism. However, Scenario One goes on to let the teen acknowledge that mistake, thereby validating it in the first place. A consequence is set, grounding, and they accept that, thereby further validating that their behavior needs work. They accept the consequence because both they and the writing acknowledge that the consequence is deserved. It takes what was previously two subjective stances---they say I’m wrong, I say I’m right---and encourages the audience to find the middle ground. Neither was totally wrong or right. The teen might be justified in some respects, but still made mistakes in others. She needs to improve. 

RWBY, however, steers firmly into Scenario Two wherein the teen (Team RWBY) insists points blank that they never made mistakes in the first place, thereby encouraging the audience to question whether Ironwood and the Ace Ops (the parent) is right to be calling them out at all. We see no humility or guilt, only confidence. Ruby shouting “No!” at Cordovin when she’s told to surrender. Yang keeping silent after admitting that she and Blake told Robyn, not bothering to apologize or admit that this might have been a breech of trust. They challenge the validity of the claim that mistakes were made and by virtue of being protagonists encourage the audience to challenge it too. Finally, we see them reject the consequence because they will not admit that it’s deserved. The teen will not accept a grounding. Ruby: “We won’t just let you take us.” We’re then told by others that this rejection was warranted. The friend reinforces the view that the teen was right to run because that punishment is undeserved. The message is, “You never did anything wrong in the first place.” The plot of RWBY likewise reinforces the view that resisting Cordovin’s arrest was right by having her randomly let the group go. The consequence is replaced with a reward and, presumably, we’ll have a similar situation wherein the group either defeats the Ace Ops or is released by them. The consequences never take hold because the writing doesn’t think there should be consequences in the first place. Team RWBY isn’t going to be arrested here. They’re certainly not acknowledging that on some level they deserve to be. We didn’t see that humility while they were cuffed on the airship---that most basic acknowledgement of, “Did we make some mistakes? Could we have done something better? Is Ironwood right to be this mad?”---and there’s none of it now here, either. The tone is pure, “How dare you try and arrest us? We’re the good guys here!” 

This remains as pro-protagonist as it has been the last two volumes. There are no consequences, only another hurdle for the group to overcome, painted as heroes for doing so. It’s Team RWBY vs. The Ace Ops and there’s no confusion about who we’re supposed to be rooting for. The Ace Ops because the group should rightly be stopped from hindering Ironwood’s attempts to keep the relics and a Maiden out of Salem’s hands, for their own lies and secret keeping that endangered them all this volume? Nope. It’s Team RWBY as the presumed heroes, facing off against soldiers who (supposedly) prioritize orders over what’s “right.” 

And yeah, Oscar is gone. There are a number of dismantled robots and blaster fire in the room where Neo presumably took him. So unless they do a flashback we don’t get to see if/how Ozpin reacted to this initial attack. I hope they do provide a flashback because otherwise that’s another crucial scene of Oscar’s that happened off screen...

Can’t wait to see what else we’ll end up with next week! Until then, 💜

[the--sad--hatter]

Mischief, Meet Your Match - Chapter Five (Loki x Reader)

WARNINGS: Violence, Swearing, Smut, Loki

SUMMARY:

Sam would say your liking for bad boys has gone too far.

Tony would kill the God of Mischief with his bare hands.

Steve would lock you in your room and never let you out.

Natasha would probably just throw you off the roof.

But there’s just something about Loki that draws you to him, and you couldn’t help it even if you wanted to.

MASTERLIST

By the time you reached the outskirts of the city Loki had taken to ignoring you, annoyed by your constant barrage of questions. Not that you really noticed, you were talking at a hundred miles an minute and he wouldn’t have been able to get a word in if he’d tried.

 “How am I going to you know… talk to them? And what are their customs? Mischief what if I offend them?” You asked with considerable concern.

 This was your first foray into Alien territory, you didn’t want to screw it up and upset anyone.

 His fingers closed around your wrist and he pulled you backwards, spinning you so you were facing him.

 “What are you doing now?” You sighed.

 He only smirked and stepped in closer, his arm wrapping around your waist. The once steady beat of your heart picked up until your heart was thrumming like a trapped hummingbird against your ribs.

 “Mischief?” You choked out in a whisper.

He dipped his head until his lips were just a mere breath from yours and against your better instincts your eyes fluttered closed in anticipation. He whispered something against your lips, something you didn’t understand and a cool tingling started in your lips, spreading through your body like an electric shock. Your head felt clouded and heavy.

 Abruptly he released you. It was so sudden you almost fell over and scrambled to regain your balance as he turned on his heel and strode away.

 “There, now you needn’t worry about the communication barrier.” Loki said over his shoulder.

 “Wait, what?”

 “Allspeak Kitten. You can understand and be understood by almost any being in the universe now.” He elaborated.

 Your fingers brushed over your lips as you frowned. It was a spell, he had enchanted you, not kissed you.

 “Wait, you’re saying I can talk to Aliens? I’m going to be able to talk to them?” You gasped.

 “You are aware I myself am what you would class as an Alien? As is my brother.” He said dryly, taking the time to look back at you like you were an idiot.

 “Thor’s not an Alien, he’s a puppy.” You scoffed as you caught up with him.

 “And me?” He probed.

 “I could spend a lifetime trying to figure out what you are and not have any answers.” You told him.

 “What a waste of a lifetime, especially since yours is so short.”

 “Don’t worry Mischief, I wouldn’t really waste my life on you…...”

 You trailed off mid-sentence because someone walked out of a doorway and across your path. The person was about 4ft tall, green, had a trunk with a snail-like shell around it and two eyes raised on stalks above it’s head, and didn’t appreciate you staring it.

 “What the hell are you looking at?” They snapped.

 “You.” You said dumbly.

 You hadn’t meant it to come out rude or antagonistic but they seemed to take it that way, ducking their head down and hurrying away.

 “Oh. Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that.” You said, looking after them forlornly.

 “Ciegrimite, native to this planet.” Loki supplied helpfully.

 “Cool!” You said, awestruck.

 The further into the city you got, the more that awestruck feeling grew. It was a cluster of new sounds and smells, some you could find similarity in, some completely foreign. There were aliens that were indistinguishable from you and Loki, though some had blue, green or purple skin. There were various beings though that were absolutely nothing like you as well though and everytime you saw one, you got a little giddy.

 “Who’s that?” You asked, tugging on Loki’s sleeve like an excited child.

 “A Calurnian. I’m not personally acquainted with her though so I can’t tell you who it is.” He said with only a hint of mocking.

 A small furry brown creature that came up to about your waist saw you peering at it and before you could look away before offending it, it waved at you. You waved back enthusiastically, ignoring Loki rolling his eyes beside you.

 “Druff. Idiotic things, they possess no more than a childlike intelligence and have an even shorter lifespan than you do.” He whispered.

 “What? How long do they live?”

 “Three years, give or take.” He shrugged.

 You looked back at the small being sadly. Three years wasn’t long at all, no wonder they had childlike intelligence, they never even grew up.

 “It’s not all beautiful after all is it?” Loki taunted.

 “Beauty isn’t measured by quantity Mischief.” You snapped.

 He seemed taken aback by the sudden souring of your mood.

 “Enlighten me then Kitten, how does one measure beauty?” He challenged.

 “You don’t.” You said simply.

 If he needed it explained, then he was never going to understand. You kind of got it though, when you lived for millenia then things lost their charm and excitement and your standards got higher, being raised as Royalty probably didn’t help either. You were actually glad that you would never live long enough to become that numb to things.

 “This is one of the seedier taverns in the city, well know to be frequented by pirates and mercenaries.” Loki said, nodding towards a one storey shack.

 Even if this world was unfamiliar to you, you could tell that the tavern wasn’t a nice place. It had a very bad vibe and the raucous yelling and sounds of fighting coming from it put you on alert even before Loki had pointed it out.

 “What are you doing now?” He sighed in exasperation when you didn’t follow him but started scoping out an alleyway instead.

 “I though you were like the King of Sneaky? If I watch from here, I have a clear view in through the windows. It’s better than stomping in and attracting attention.” You explained, perching on top a railing so you could see the whole inside of the tavern from your vantage point.

 Loki might have argued if it weren’t for the brisk professional manner you had taken up. You had slipped into mission mode.

 “Yes, it’s better if you stay out here. You can be my secret weapon.” He agreed with a slight nod of his head, acting like he had come up with the idea.

 “If you need me, scratch your right eyebrow. If you need me to get ready, scratch your left.” You ordered.

 “How droll.” He sighed.

 “Ok, counter offer, I’ll wait for somebody to stab you. Soon as I see you bleeding, that’ll be my signal to come in.” You offered.

 “Everytime I think we’re making progress you say something like that, I’m starting to think you don’t like me.” He quipped dryly.

 “I like you.” You said with a casual shrug.

 He narrowed his eyes and waited for the punchline but there wasn’t one.

 “Even after I kidnapped you and forced you to play bodyguard to me?”

 “An alien waved at me, I’m pretty over the kidnapping thing as long as I get home soon. And you’re not the worst company in the world.. or the universe.” You informed him with a teasing smirk.

 “So there’s hope for us yet then.” He deduced with a grin.

 He leant on the wall so he was towering over you with his considerable height, his eyes twinkling and his lips upturned.

 “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I like you but I don’t trust you. I’d say I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw you but I think I could actually throw you quite a bit further than I’d ever be able to trust you Mischief. You’re still the god of lies, and fire and chaos, and you tried to take over my planet and attacked my family. I’m working with you because I have no choice but don’t forget that I’m still and Avenger and you’re still a villain.” You said, reminding yourself more than him.

 Everything you had said was technically true. He was the bad guy and you were trying your best to be a hero. You were helping him because you were essentially his prisoner. Neither of you could afford to forget that. You guessed Loki wasn’t pleased with the reminder because his expression went cold and he turned around and walked into the tavern without another word.

 And if you felt guilty for hurting his feelings then it was just weakness on your part and you needed to do better. Making friends with Loki was not on the agenda. All that was on the agenda was getting home.

 You needed to get back home, to Steve.

 ~~~Two Hours Later~~~

 Loki exited the tavern furiously. He had been forced to threaten his way out, leaving at least two bodies in his wake and you, you hadn’t deigned to show up. He stormed over to the alleyway he’d left you in and as he suspected, found it void of your presence. There was a slight chance you had been taken but he suspected that if you had somehow been unable to fight off an attacker you would have at least made such a scene that he would have heard it. No, he knew what had happened. You had abandoned him.

 Ire coursed through his veins at your unreliability and callousness. He thought you had reached an accord and you had scuttled off like a cockroach the second his back was turned. You were really arrogant enough to believe you could survive in this place without him, lightyears away from your home and your precious Avengers without any backup.

 He bit down a groan of frustration and began searching for you, trying to think like you would to figure out where you had gone. He searched all through the marketplace assuming you would be entranced by the stalls of shiny worthless junk but he turned up no sign of you. He could just leave you here but that was too close to mercy and he wanted to make you pay for your betrayal. He’d been kind and this is how you repayed him.

 So what if he had kidnapped you, you had tried to trick him first. In fact, you were the reason he had been captured in the first place. Even if you thought you had just been defending the little hunk of space debris you called a planet you had no right. And he hadn’t hurt you, he had even let you attack him without repercussion. He had used his magic to gift you allspeak, something usually reserved for Asgardians, and just because you’d been so worried about being able to talk with the insignificant beings who traversed this place. Well he hoped that you enjoyed being able to understand them before they slit your throat and threw you in a pit. Though the thought of that happening did make him quicken his pace.

 Because he was the one who deserved to kill you, not because he was worried.

 His search for you came to an abrupt conclusion when instead of him finding you, you literally fell at his feet. Or to be precise, someone bodily threw you out of a tavern and into his path.

 “Mishiff?” You slurred, squinting at him from the ground.

 He stared down at you, half furious, half perplexed.

 “Kitten.” He said lowly, his tone dripping with venom.

 He knelt down and grabbed a fistful of your shirt, dragging you to your feet, glaring daggers at the ginormous bovine like creature that had unceremoniously thrown you in the dirt.

 “Leave. Now. Before I make you pay in blood for laying a hand on her.” He snarled at it, his eyes flashing dangerously.

 It seemed to understand the danger and slowly backed away. When it had retreated back inside the Inn he looked down at you.

 “’Lo.” You said amicably, blinking up at him.

 “You’re drunk.” He seethed.

 “Yup! They have strong stuff here, gets even super shoulders drunk.”

 “Of all the stupid, ignorant, lowly creatures in this universe you are the one I trusted and you abandoned me if favour of getting drunk.” He clarified, deadly calm.

 “You didn’t trust me with a thing, you napped me by *hiccup* accident. You were just being a dick so get off that high…. Thingy… HORSE!” You screeched, trying to turn around and looking confounded by the fact you couldn’t seem to move.

 He noticed a few people watching the commotion and swore under his breath.

 “Move.” He snarled at you, pushing you ahead of him and swearing again when you stumbled and he was forced to catch you.

 He sighed and kept a grip on your waist, dragging you off the streets.

 “Where we going?” You asked giddily.

 “Out of sight,” He hissed.

 “Oh, I’m in trouble now!” You yelped.

A/N - What are we thinking so far?

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[funkymbtifiction]

Hi, I have some questions and it’d be great if you could help me with the answer. What would my type be? I’m quite sure that I’m Fe but it feels out of place since my social skills are not good and … well, it’s like this. My close friends (All attested TPs) are A LOT more socially graceful than I am. They can just walk in a room and everybody is their friend. They charm everyone so … for having no better word, sleekly that it can be terrifying…

You seem strongly Ni to me but your judging axis isn’t clear. I’d rule out ENFJ if you are less skilled than your ETP friends in getting people to like you than they are, since ENFJs are usually good at reading people and connecting to them on an interpersonal level – so consider also INFJ. (However, if the following paragraph applies, ENFJ is also possible given 6′s tendency to self-doubt. IE, you may be over-thinking your social behaviors and that could be limiting your ease and ability to trust that you can win over people.)

You might be more of a 6 core than a 3 core, if you do that much self-doubt and waffling and considering whether to change your approach if someone else criticizes it. 6s are more inclined to listen to other people, whereas 3 cores tend to be quite arrogant (to cover up their insecurity) and assume they are wonderful at everything. I’m not sure a 3 would ever admit to me that they are socially awkward; they would be “uniquely gifted" and splendid. So, you may want to think about whether you might be operating out of a core place of 6ish self-doubt. The crucial aspect in determining a core between 3 and 6 is how calm you can stay when you get upset – 3s tend to know at all times how blowing their top can make them look to other people, so they moderate their reaction to always seem professional – a 6 is more likely to get emotional and reactive.

BTW, what d'you think is Dumbledore and Voldemort’s enneagram, I haven’t seen anyone talked much about this topic.

Voldemort is a power-seeking, arrogant, callous 3w4 who wants eternal glory.

Dumbeldore is harder, because his younger self seems to conflict with his older self. [erased] ETA: Actually… I’m gonna change my mind about Dumbledore. The detachment could come from being a 5, and he’s clearly able to separate himself from his emotions in how he handles Harry’s destiny – he leaves him with Petuna for “the greater good” even though he must have SOME NOTION of how Harry is being treated, and how ultimately, as Snape accuses him, he is “raising Harry to be the lamb to the slaughter.” Dumbledore knows this is necessary and commits to it. He’s a strategic thinker but also, especially when young and in his flashbacks to the past, was arrogant and conceited in his elitism – so I’m now thinking a 5w4.

- ENFP Mod

[ryuukia]

[Translation] SolidS Drama Vol.5 “One faithful day, I saw you laughing under the starry sky” Track 4

We’re getting closer to the ending of the CD. This track focuses on Shiki and Rikka, and how they met for the first time. If you want to hear Shiki being formal, here’s your chance. Anyway, many thanks to Ryota for proofing this for me.

Please don’t repost/retranslate/reuse my translations. Likes and reblogs are appreciated.

If you like my work and you want to support me, you can now buy me a coffee by clicking right [here]. I also started taking commissions, more details are right [here]. Thank you~

Track 4: That day’s encounter

-Shiki bursts into the room and startles Rikka-

Shiki: I apologize. I must have gotten the wrong room. ...Wha, or not?

Rikka: Oh, the set might be at fault for that, I had a photoshoot with firewood scheduled for today. May I ask for the time when yours is starting?

Shiki: Ah, I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere around 13.

-Shiki brings out some papers to check-

Shiki: It’s not... it says 3 p.m.

Rikka: That means it’s appointed for 15.

Shiki: I got the time wrong. I shall return later.

Rikka: Ah, please wait. I’m about to leave anyway.

Shiki: I couldn’t possibly ask you to do that. Moreover, I am the one at fault, if you were to leave it would look as if I had sent you out. Please accept my apologies.

Rikka: Not at all, please don’t worry about it.

Shiki: Ah. ….You are Sera Rikka-san, right?

Rikka: Eeh? ...Yes, that’s right.

Shiki: Our photos will be featured in the same magazine this time. I’m Takamura Shiki from Tsukino Talent Production. Pleased to meet you.

Rikka: Takamura Shiki…from that unit who’s gotten popular recently? Pleased to meet you as well. I hope one day we will be able to work together. I shall take my leave now.

Shiki: Ah, one more thing. Please wait.

Rikka: Eh?

Shiki: If your schedule allows it, could we talk for a little?

Rikka: Talk about what?

Shiki: Anything that would help me understand photoshoots better. Even a few tips would be more than sufficient.

Rikka: Huh?

Shiki: Photoshooting is far from being one of my specialties, so any sort of advice would help me a lot.

Rikka: Eeh? Huh? Uh… eh? Uhhmm, correct me if I'm wrong, but I reckon you are more well-known than I am and you should be acquainted with this field... by now...

Shiki: I beg you.

Rikka: Uhm, please don't bow, raise your head. Er… My schedule is free after this, so I don’t mind having a chat with you.

Shiki: Thank you very much, Sera-san.

Rikka: … Rikka is fine.

Shiki: I understand. Then Rikka, I’ll be in your care.

Rikka: Likewise.

Shiki: Can I sit next to you?

Rikka: Of course, go ahead.

Shiki & Rikka: Uhm…

Shiki: Er…

Rikka: Uh…

Shiki: With things progressing so fast, I guess we both can’t help but be on guard with each other. Maybe getting to know each other would help. I’m pretty sure we’re also close in age. I’m 18, what about you?

Rikka: I’m 16.

Shiki: Two years younger, huh. But on the other hand, your career is longer than mine.

Rikka: How do you know so many things about me?

Shiki: I checked up in advance what are the magazine’s needs and who seems to be trending among the readers.

Rikka: I see.

Shiki: But apart from that, one of your CMs has also left an impression on me. The one featuring those summer soft drinks.

Rikka: Ah, that one.

Shiki: Since I was already familiar with your name, when I went to the bookshop I’d unconsciously find you on some magazine covers, posters, even some photos scattered around. It’s hard to ignore something like that especially when they’re so flashy and, moreover, we’re close in age and work in the same industry.  

Rikka: I see. I wouldn’t say my photos are really the best, but your words did make me view them in a better light.

Shiki: Right. I bought some magazines and tried to use them as reference, but how can I make my facial expressions look natural on the camera? It’s a question I still ask myself. If there are any tricks, perhaps, could you explain them to me in a few words?

Rikka: I think Takamura-san is-

Shiki: Ah, Shiki is fine. You can drop the formalities.

Rikka: I think Shiki’s the type of person whose simple presence is enough to catch someone’s attention. You don’t need to make any kind of expressions for that, it’s easy to tell when people like you do that. I believe people will be more pleased to see how you really are.

Shiki: … I suppose you’re right. I’m far from being a professional model. And thinking about it, trying to reach your level only by imitating something you gained through years of work sounds more like an arrogance.

Rikka: Hold on!? I didn’t mean it as a negative thing! I was only trying to say that you shouldn’t force yourself to copy me and just be natural. In short, you don’t need to change yourself.

Shiki: I don’t need to change myself… I suppose me being there as a talent is more important, huh. You’re probably right. Thank you, I feel a bit more relieved.

Rikka: I’m glad to be of help. You look like an earnest guy, Shiki.

Shiki: I’d say it feels a little different from being earnest. I’m simply a shallow perfectionist who hates losing. But I’d like to stop that kind of behavior in the future if possible. My aim is to live my life focusing on the one thing I set my heart on, just like you do, Rikka. It sounds like a better alternative for me.

Rikka: One thing, huh. You think too highly of me.

Shiki: Hm? Your achievements can be seen in numbers. You should be more proud of yourself, you’re without a doubt among the best.

Rikka: Oh…

Shiki: Remember the words you told me? When being natural is a given and your redeeming feature, use it as your weapon. You should accept it gratefully and use it effectively. From my point of view, I’d say Rikka is the earnest one.

Rikka: Uhm, I’ll take that as a compliment.

Shiki: It is. I can’t think of anything more that can sound like a compliment. The fact that you get work demands from your specialty field is also something enviable. Unless you want to do something other than modelling?

Rikka: No, nothing in particular. It may sound like I’m repeating myself, but I’ve been doing this job ever since I can remember and stuck to it since it felt like I needed to. I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper objective or aspiration in mind beside that.

Shiki: Needing and wanting to do something are similar things. Isn’t that something a professional would say? Because you’re giving effort, the next job comes even if you’re not aware of it.

Rikka: You’re exaggerating, I don’t deserve that many praises…

Shiki: In general, your own evaluation tends to differ from other people’s. It’s easy for one to assume that the work we do is trivial because from others’ standpoint, we gain recognition by only doing something small and experience no hardships at all. But nobody can reach the front lines without putting some effort. If you can manage to strive in what you do and keep any kind of worries away, that’s what I would call ‘being talented’.

Rikka: Oh……

Shiki: What is it?

Rikka: Doesn’t that sound too mature for you, Shiki? Are you really 18? I wouldn’t be surprised if you lied about your ag-

Shiki: I didn’t!

Rikka: -laughs- Of course. Sorry, sorry. It’s just that your words hold too much power for someone your age. Maybe not just power. Each of them are so sharpened they break through your heart.

Shiki: That’s maybe because these are the things I tell myself.

Rikka: More exactly?

Shiki: Things like how I’m grateful for my position of first player in the industry. About how much work I put into this. But when asked if this is really what I wanted to do, there are times when I hesitate to give an answer. Rather than singing a song someone else made, what I really want to do is make music with my own two hands. 

Rikka: Shiki, you mean...

Shiki: As long as I continue doing this job, I can’t make time to focus on just one thing. And yet, this is what I want to do. I want to compose music. I want to go as far as my will allows me to. Time won’t let one contemplate, it will simply pass by. And with it, the world also changes. I don’t need to do two things at the same time, but both done halfway. I only need to choose one and stick with it. ...Or at least, that’s what I’ve been thinking these days. What do you think, Rikka?

Rikka: I don’t think you need to ask me, that look in your eyes tells me your heart is already set on it.

Shiki: My expression, huh.

Rikka: It’s not like you were trying to hide it.

Shiki: I suppose. 

Shiki & Rikka: -laugh-

Shiki: Can you keep this conversation between us?

Rikka: Of course. If word were to get out about it, it would cause an uproar. And more than that, I’m glad you shared something so important with me on our first meeting.

Shiki: Ah, you felt like someone who would listen to me without prejudices. I didn’t expect you’d read right through me though.

Rikka: That’s because you didn’t try to hide yourself. Ah, right!

Shiki: W-what?

Rikka: Now that I think about it, there was actually something I wanted to do. I want to try and experience photography outside fashion photoshoots. I can’t think of more details right now, but for example something with an outdoor location would be nice. The sky and the sun would change as time passes, then the wind would move in different ways too. I want to go into nature and take pictures that capture unique, fleeting moments. I do have thousands of hours of studio shooting, but zero experience when it comes to outdoor shooting.

Shiki: I suppose the artificial light from the studio, the cool production, the modern sets and atmosphere have something to do with that. But I think they suit you.

Rikka: Oh… Thank you. It’s a good feeling to be thought important by a lot of people, I admit. But, sometimes I wonder if simply thinking that is good enough, so I’m having doubts. But thanks to what you told me today, I think I’ll be able to continue with this a bit more. You also reminded me of what I want to do. Thank you, Shiki.

Shiki: I should be the one to say that. I probably knew the answer I’ve been looking for all along, but just needed someone to give me a push and point it out. Now I know what I have to do. Let’s fulfill our dreams, Rikka.

Rikka: Yeah. Do your best.

Shiki: I hope your dream will also come true. When I think about locations in nature, I imagine packs with food and trips by train. 

Rikka: Exactly! That’s the kind of thing I’m looking for. It seems like fun.

Shiki: Cooling yourself under a waterfall...

Rikka: And watching the blue sky on a meadow!

Shiki: You finally smiled.

Rikka: Oh…

Shiki: You have a nice smile. No wonder you’re so popular.

-someone knocks at the door-

Staff A: Excuse me! Oh, Sera-san?

Rikka: Ah, I apologize. We ended up talking a lot. I should go by now.

-Rikka picks up his things-

Rikka: Well then, I’m going. Good luck with your shoot, Shiki.

Shiki: Thanks. With the advice I got from you, I’m sure the photos will look fine. Also, can you give me one more minute?

Rikka: Ah, what for?

Shiki: If you don’t mind it, give me your contact address.

Rikka: Oh… -laughs- Of course, with pleasure.

Tsubasa: Whaaaa… he really doesn’t beat around the bush. Also, this conversation is filled with pick-up lines.

Rikka: And after that, I haven’t heard anything from him for around a month.

Tsubasa: What a player!

Rikka: At that time it honestly made me feel a bit lonely considering it felt like we were getting along so well. But I think it was the same for Shiki. He didn’t contact me, and I didn’t have the courage to call him myself.

Dai: So, after that one month passed, what did he say when he got in touch with you again?

Rikka: He was really nonchalant. When he called me and said “Rikka, it’s me. Do you want to go out and eat something after work?” that first time, I kept asking myself what had just happened.

Tsubasa: He didn’t even say his name. Could’ve been a scam.

Rikka: That also happened around the time when the world was in an uproar because Shiki was to leave his unit.

Dai: Did he tell you anything about that?

Rikka: No. He didn’t say anything in particular about it. Or at least, I didn’t hear anything about it. I knew from the beginning what Shiki was set on and all I wanted to do was to support his decision.

Tsubasa: Hah… Rikka, you’re really laudable!

Dai: That part of you that doesn’t hold back on strange things hasn’t changed. But I could say the same for Shiki’s brazen invitations, huh.

Rikka: -laughs- Indeed. Shiki’s always done things his own way and if he decides on something, he’s not going to give up or yield on it no matter what.

Dai: But you know, not changing for a long time is sort of amazing in its own way.

Tsubasa: Wait, Dai-chan. Stop it, I just imagined it for real.

All: -laugh-

Shiki: Rikka, are you here?

Rikka: Shiki? What is it?

Shiki: Can you give me 10 minutes? 

Rikka: Ten minutes or an entire hour, both are fine with me. I don’t really have anything planned now.

Shiki: I see. Let’s go out and have a drink.

Rikka: Eh!? Now? Sure, but what about Haiduki-san?

Shiki: He went back earlier. But he’ll join us later.

Tsubasa: More important, darling. Where are you taking Rikka on a date looking like that?

Shiki: Why do you always pick up on people’s appear-... wait, maybe I should actually change my clothes, huh.

Rikka: I have enough free time, go and take a shower. 

Shiki: Yeah, right. Sorry, wait for me a bit more.

-Shiki leaves-

Rikka: That was…

Dai: It looks like he’s back to normal.

Rikka: My strange feeling of dread is suddenly gone. Maybe we’ve reached a turning point?

Tsubasa: Good grief, our leader likes pulling people into his antics, but just like that he’s going back to normal, huh. Rikka, you should get mad at him for causing you trouble once in a while, you know?

Rikka: He’s back to his normal self now.

Dai: I wonder when Haiduki-san went back.

Rikka: Right! I didn’t even notice.

Tsubasa: Speaking of which, what was that? He invited Rikka for a drink, Haiduki-san’s gonna join later, but us? Why are we left out?

Dai: To me it looks like those 3 have something to talk about.

Tsubasa: So Dai and me don’t?

Dai: I think it’s fine to leave them some space sometimes. You’re also not done checking the interviews in the first place.

Tsubasa: Ugh! I’ll really do them after!

Dai: Liar. Get to work now.

Tsubasa: W-w-wait, Dai-chan, the applications!

Dai: You did them then. So why are you trying to hide them?

Tsubasa: -grumbling- Eeeeeeeuhhhhhhhhhhm…because it’s embarrassing?

Dai: If you want to try excuses on me, find a better one. Your interviews are always embarrassing.

Tsubasa: Dai-chan, be good an- whoaaa! C’mon, give them back!

Dai: You’re annoying. I’ll read them out.

Rikka: Well, I’ll go get ready too. I’ll call you later.

Dai: It’s fine. You don’t have to worry about us, enjoy your drink. 

Dai, to Tsubasa: Now, if you don’t shut up, I’ll kick you.

Rikka: Thank you.

Dai: Look at this, more than half of them aren’t done.

Tsubasa: Seriously, Dai-chan you bully.

Dai: “We, SolidS, are-

Tsubasa: W-w-wait I said!! 

Dai: heroes who exist to give dreams and hope to people.” What is this? A squadron thing?

Tsubasa: No, wait, wait!! I didn’t say anything like that!! Let me write it again!

[a-trauma-fox]

Sigh.

Sometimes when I stumble upon a post I made years ago on this blog, I'm grateful I've come a long way. I was overall feeling better for a while!

Now I'm struggling with different stuff.

Content notice for medical trauma and gaslighting probably. I don't even know anymore.

Earlier this year I went to a day clinic that I previously had a good experience with. My expectation was to work on some stuff and I was optimistic that it might be the last time (for now at least) I'd need that kind of support. Now I can't imagine to go into a setting like that again - not because I'm better, but because it was truly awful.

It was a different team than before. They thought I had strong narcissistic traits (a claim that at least 3 therapists/doctors before and after disagree with). They didn't tell me this, instead just treated me dismissively, as if I was doing something wrong, as if I was exaggerating, manipulating, unreasonably angry and acting entitled and arrogant basically all the time. The therapist just told me a couple of days before I was scheduled to leave what they really thought about me. Like wow, this is how I imagine a lot of mental health professionals treated people they labeled with borderline 25 years ago. Even with a couple of months distance and thinking it over countless times, I don't think I acted in a super inappropriate way. Like yeah, I often had a hard time talking because I was overwhelmed - which the staff seemed to take personally. Especially one doctor there seemed to interpret most of what I said in the most negative way possible, and one time I got angry about that. I think it's appropriate to get angry when someone accuses you of lying, and when you say that's not true and not okay to just assume, says you're just projecting. They kept telling me how they're on my side and how everyone is so professional, while silently interpreting the worst into and pathologizing my behavior and acting as if my intention was obvious and I'd know full well what I did wrong. The way I was treated there just stomped the confidence I'd worked hard to build, made me seriously doubt my reality testing and made me feel profoundly hopeless.

One of the reasons I went there in the first place was because I had a major surgery in another hospital a few months before and been denied appropriate pain treatment because some people there thought I was drug seeking. And I could not cope with having to think about it all the time.

The day clinic was supposed to help with that. Instead what happened there fit perfectly into the helplessness, the sense of hostility, unfairness and being at the mercy of intransparent group dynamics of a team that communicated badly, and the insecurity whether what's happening is actually not okay or if I'm just imagining things or even deserve it. What happened at the day clinic made a nest in there and now haunts me more than the surgery thing.

Afterwards, my regular psychiatrist told me to focus on the positives of my stay, while I felt like I was drowning. My new therapist told me it's premature and not helpful to call it gaslighting, and if I disagreed, he couldn't help me.

The friends I talked about this with mostly judged the staff of the day clinic much more harshly than I did. A part of me is afraid I'm just subconsciously twisting things and manipulating them to agree with what another part of me believes.

All kinds of things remind me of what happened. Of specific situations that went wrong, what I should have said or done differently. I get angry at how unfair it was, then start to doubt and wonder whether that's somehow proof of what they said about me. I'm afraid that it will happen again, that people will be hostile toward me for reasons I don't understand. Or that standing up for myself will do nothing but backfire badly. And that I can't talk with a therapist about it because they may wonder if /where the day clinic people were right about me and just continue to treat me like someone who turns a blind eye towards my "problematic behavior" and just wants to hear how I'm right about everything and a victim.

Other people would maybe find it easier to put this kind of experience into perspective - maybe as a thing where there was miscommunication, some unfairness, disagreement, but they could agree to disagree and move on to other things. I'd like to find a way to do something like this. Just very stuck right now.

Maybe if I see this post in some months or years, I'll be grateful for having moved on? Can't really picture it right now.

[batskulldrag]

Phoenix by Fallout Boy

here’s chapter fourteen, sorry for dropping off the grid

Trigger warnings for anxiety attacks and panic attacks. As well as abuse mentions

Also innacurate representation of a court of law. I pieced this together from all my research. But it’s probably wrong

Chapter Fourteen: Burn from the Hamilton soundtrack

 Patton buttoned the last button on his suit jacket. The deafening silence was not helping his nerves. He glanced over to Logan who was pacing dazedly from one side of their room to the other.  

“I haven’t worn this since my last job interview.” Patton added to the void. “I’m surprised it still fits. I’ve had a lot of cookies since then.”

“What?” Logan stopped walking and looked over as if he had been snapped out of a trance.

“I was just trying to joke.” Patton dismissed it. “Are you ok?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re stimming.”

“My pacing has nothing to do with Asperger’s.” Logan said quickly and unconvincingly.

“I’m scared too.” Patton looked at his shoes. “Not only does Payton have a lawyer, but he is one!”

“So? He can’t alter reality.” Logan shrugged. “And we have all the evidence. We can stop him from so much as looking at a picture of Virgil ever again.”

“I guess.”

“And I know.” Logan walked over and untied Patton’s tie. “Who taught you how to tie a tie?”

“I never learned how. I was busy and my hands were tied.” Patton smiled.

“I’ll let you have that one.” Logan sighed, retying the tie.

They were interrupted by Virgil screaming. They both sprinted over to him, and Patton burst inside.

Virgil was on the floor beside his bed staring at his arms in horror. Both arms, his face and neck were pink and covered with hives.

“I’ve been nuked!” Virgil yelled in dismay.

“It’s ok.” Patton said more out of instinct than optimism as he ran to Virgil’s side. “It’s probably nothing.”

“Virgil, do the hives itch?” Logan asked, kneeling across from him.

“Yeah?” Virgil replied, confused. “What are they? Am I gonna die?”

“If I had to guess I’d say they were stress induced.” Logan felt his forehead.

“I can’t show up to court looking like this!” Virgil gestured at himself. “They’ll assume stuff!”

“What will they assume?” Logan asked seriously.

“I don’t know! They’ll assume that I’m too stressed out here or something.”

“It’s ok sweetie.” Patton cooed, stroking his hair. “They’re not gonna jump to conclusions.”

“He’s right.” Logan continued. “The only assumption they are going to make is that a young man, who was diagnosed with severe anxiety, is having a reaction to the stress involved in testifying in court.”

“How can you be so sure?” Patton could feel Virgil’s heart pounding.

“I can’t. And I’m not asking you to trust the court, I’m asking you to trust us. We’re not going to let Payton get his hands on you ever again.”

“Sure, but there are limits to what you can actually do about this.” Virgil’s breaths started getting shorter.  

“And everything is in our favor.”

“He’s going to deny everything, he’s going to lie about you! He’s not just going to let this slide!”

“I know.” Logan pushed Virgil’s bangs back. “But he’s already been outed as a liar. And no one is going to believe his hearsay arguments so easily. Maybe people are inclined to believe the adult, but nobody believes the liar.”

“But we don’t know what he has up his sleeves.”

“Prison tattoos probably.” Patton chimed in bitterly.

“Payton had better have the infinity gauntlet under there if he wants to win.” Roman said from the doorway.

“How long have you been there?” Logan turned around suddenly

“I heard Virgil scream too.” Roman rolled his eyes. “I just didn’t have anything to add until now.”

“We’re going to find out that you’re just a ghost that haunts this place, aren’t we?” Virgil added.

“That’s the spirit.” Patton impulsively took the opportunity for a dad joke.

“Virgil.” Roman ignored Patton. “I have plenty of make up if you wish to cover up those irritants.”

“No.” Logan interrupted. “Make up would worsen the irritation.”

“I have baby lotion.” Patton smoothed Virgil’s hair back.

“Why?” Virgil looked dismayed.

                                                               #             #             #

“Boop.” Patton enunciated as he smudged a bit of lotion on Virgil’s nose.

Virgil didn’t seem too impressed with that. He just sighed and looked at his arms.

“Ok, Virgil, drink this and then I’ll give you one of your pills.” Logan added, placing a mug of warm milk in front of him.

“What’s this supposed to do?” Virgil asked skeptically.

“It’s supposed to settle your stomach and relax you.” Logan felt his forehead. “Given your history of throwing up when you’re stressed, I don’t want you eating anything heavy. But you shouldn’t be taking your tranquilizers on an empty stomach. And milk, especially warm milk is known to have calming properties.”

“Do you think I need one of the sedatives?” Virgil added, taking a sip of the milk.

“You did kinda break out because of stress, Kiddo.” Patton set the lotion down. “And you’re doing a pretty scary thing today.”

Virgil rested his head on the table and Patton started petting his hair.

“You can still change your mind at any time.” Logan added, putting a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I can’t just duck out at the last minute.” Virgil mumbled.

“Quack.” Patton added, looking down at his anxious little baby hopefully.

Virgil didn’t even crack a smile.

“I’m gonna do this even if it’s the last thing I ever do.” Virgil sat up with determination.

“Ok.” Patton wrapped his arms around him. “But you don’t have to. Ok? You don’t need to do anything that will make you uncomfortable.”

“I know.”

“Do you wanna take your bear with you? Or your hoodie? You know, to make you more comfortable.”

“I don’t need a security blanket.” Virgil looked disgusted at the thought. “Can you imagine? If Payton saw me walk up to the stand with a fricking teddy bear, he’d drop his bullshit and start reaming me out right there. I don’t wanna see that.”

“He’d lose the case in an instant though.” Roman added. “It is normally considered bad form to abuse your child in the middle of a custody battle.”

“That’s a valid point.” Logan somehow agreed with Roman. “Payton is completely incapable of hurting you anymore. His hands are tied.”

“Metaphorically?” Virgil looked up at him.

“No, they had him in hand cuffs last time I saw him.”

Virgil laughed at the idea.

“Ok, Kiddo.” Patton kissed him on the forehead. “You go get dressed. And I promise that everything is gonna be ok from now on.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I just can.”

                                                               #             #             #

The courtroom looked exactly like every court room from TV. Patton looked into the gallery and saw several strangers. Roman veered off from them and sat in the gallery as well. He shot them a thumbs up.

“Why are there a bunch of people here?” He quickly whispered to Logan as they sat down at their weird table.

“Most trials are open to the public.” Logan explained. “People can just walk in and sit down.”

“Why would you want to do that?”

“I don’t know. Trials are open to the public barring a specific order from the judge. It’s in accordance with the sixth amendment, a fair and public trial.”

“I don’t know any of those words.” Virgil shuddered from between them.

Logan silently checked Virgil’s pulse and felt his forehead.

“Am I gonna live?” Virgil said flatly.

“Very funny.” Logan sighed. “In half an hour you can have another pill. If you feel like you’re going to have an attack tell one of us.”

“And if you feel like you need to take a break, just say so and we’ll tell the judge.” Patton rubbed his shoulder.

“And deny the spectators such an epic show?” Virgil sneered.

“Never mind them.” Patton shushed.

Virgil dropped his annoyed expression and stared across the room in numb horror. Despite his rash his face went pale and he started panting and wheezing.

“He’s here.” Virgil squeaked.

“Shh,” Patton wrapped himself around Virgil like a shield, making sure to block his line of sight. “It’s ok, he can’t hurt you. Don’t look at him. Just don’t look. He can’t do anything.”

Logan made eye contact with Payton and stared back at him with a blank face. Payton’s empty eyes were no match for the cold stoicism that Logan wore so well. This mere lawyer had no clue how to intimidate him, nor anyone else that realized that he had no power over them. Payton didn’t look away though, he had a lot of arrogance for a man with no real control, no real power, no permanent impact. Foolish sociopath.

“All arise.” The bailiff ended their staring contest. “The honorable Jack Douglass Presiding.”

Patton continued to insinuate himself between Payton and Virgil as they all stood to attention. Familial attachment was flaking off of his conscience like an old sunburn. The idea that Payton didn’t want to be his friend started to harden him rather than hurt anymore. All that he really felt was the determination to make sure that no one threatened his baby ever again. And if Payton thought he was going to sit over there and shoot death glares at an innocent kid, then he needed to get used to disappointment and fast.

“Thank you, bailiff.” The judge snapped him back into the room. “You may be seated.”

The crowd sat down on command. It was kind of impressive.

“Mr. Pent.” The Judge looked at Janus “Yesterday I asked you if you were really going through with this. I’m going to ask again.”

“The defendant is insistent on having this out in court your honor.” Janus answered professionally.

“Is this correct?” The judge looked at Payton and his lawyer.

“It is your honor.” The lawyer answered.

“Alright,” The judge replied. “Proceed with your case. Why do believe Mr. Foster to be an unfit parent?”

“We have documented evidence of both physical and emotional abuse as well as neglect.” Janus pulled out a folder.

“Interesting.” The judge looked at Payton. “Mr. Foster, how do you respond to these allegations?”

“The claims against me are completely fabricated.” Payton said coldly. “I have never laid a hand on my son, nor have I abused him emotionally.”

“Why would your brother make up something like this?” The judge countered.

“I assure you. I have no idea.”

“Let’s see your evidence.” The judge, his honor? Turned back to them.

“I have with me a portion of the fire chief’s report from Mr. Foster’s home.” Janus read. “It states that Virgil’s bedroom had no door, which caused the fire to spread to his room much quicker than normal, and that his window was nailed shut.”

“Mr. Pent,” His honor looked annoyed. “Do you have children?”

“I do not your honor.”

“Did you have a window when you were a teenager?”

“Yes, your honor.” Janus was somehow playing this straight.

“Mr. Foster,” His honor turned to him.

“Yes sir, I mean your honor?”

“Since staying with you, has Virgil had access to a functional window?”

“Yes, your honor.” Patton shook, he had no idea what was happening.

“How about a door, does he have a door?”

“Yes. Your honor.”

“Mr. Pent, how about you? Did you have a door when you were a teenager?”

“Yes, your honor.”

“Mr. Foster,” The judge turned. “When you were Virgil’s age, did you have a functional window?”

“Yes, your honor.” Payton seemed confused as well.

“How about a door?”

“Yes, your honor.”

“Why is it that your son has neither of those things?”

“Virgil was in the habit of bringing friends over uninvited and sneaking out at night, I removed the door and sealed the window to prevent this.”

None of the three had it in them to be surprised by this anymore. They barely had it in them to be disappointed.

“Firstly, taking off the door won’t prevent any of that.” His honor retorted. “Secondly, he nearly died in a fire because you nailed his window shut. You’re either abusive or stupid.”

“Your honor.” Payton’s lawyer added. “Neither of these examples indicate abuse, making the evidence irrelevant.”

“That is fair, he could just be stupid.” His honor nodded. “Unfortunately, that kind of ignorant endangerment is still grounds to call him an unfit parent.”  

Patton saw Payton’s eye twitch, it must have been killing him that his current defense was ‘please, I’m very stupid’.

“Mr. Pent,” Judge Douglass turned to Janus “Give me something more relevant to your case.”

“Here we have documented images of the bruises Virgil sustained, and several hospital records detailing various injuries.” Janus held out the folder and the bailiff took it to the judge.

The judge looked over the documents quietly and stoically.

“Virgil,” His honor looked up. “You’re planning to testify as a witness, correct?”

“Yes…Your honor.” Virgil grabbed Patton’s hand.

“Ok, why don’t you come on up?”

“Yes sir. I mean your honor.” Virgil stood up and looked at Patton desperately.

“It’s ok, just don’t look at him.” Patton whispered, rubbing Virgil’s hand.

The bailiff took Virgil up to the box and they swore him in. The poor baby was visibly shaking.

“So, Virgil.” Judge Douglass was surprisingly gentle. “I’m going to start by asking you why your window was nailed shut.”

“Payton, my dad, told me he didn’t trust me to not sneak out.” Virgil said frankly. “So, he nailed the window shut. The door was a different thing entirely.”

“Well, what was the door about?”

“He found a journal that I was keeping for a class when I was about eight.” Virgil tensely rubbed his arm. “And he got mad at me for keeping things from him while also telling my teacher things that were none of their business.”

“If I may, your honor.” Payton’s lawyer added. “This is not relevant, nor does it prove abuse.”

“I disagree,” Janus argued. “It is important we know why Payton felt that there were aspects of their home life that were meant to be hidden.”

“In that case, maybe we should ask what secrets Virgil was willing to share with his teacher and not his father.” Payton’s lawyer countered.

“Absolutely.” Jan agreed. “Virgil, what exactly were you writing about?”

“I was eight.” Virgil looked around uncomfortably. “I mostly just drew pictures. I had maybe two passages about how my dad made fun of me whenever I wet the bed. and the rest was dedicated to talking about the Goosebumps series. I wasn’t allowed to read them, so I always figured that was why Payton was mad at me.”

“Taking the door off is kind of an extreme reaction.” Judge Douglass stated blankly.

“Excuse me, your honor.” Patton added timidly.

“Yes, Mr. Foster?”

“How would Payton know what Virgil was writing about unless he read the journal?”

“We’re just wasting time with this.” Payton interrupted. “Nothing I’ve been accused of so far is child abuse, in fact I admitted to removing the door. Because Virgil and I were having some trust issues, with just cause. And none of that is illegal.”

Payton made direct eye contact with Virgil while he was talking, and much to everyone’s surprise Virgil stared right back at him.

“Alright.” His honor stared at all of them. “Let’s move on to the allegations of physical abuse.”

Virgil bit his nails and pulled at his tie.

“Let’s start with how Virgil managed to get a perfect belt buckle mark on his back.” His honor’s eyes scalded anyone who looked directly into them.

“A question I have been wanting answers to as well.” Payton glared at Virgil.

“You mean to tell me that you don’t know how that got there?” His honor almost seemed to laugh at Payton.

“I can only speculate that Virgil bruised himself to frame me for abuse or that my brother put those marks there to further his own agenda.”

“And what agenda is that?” His honor spat.

“Since last month Patton has started a campaign to discredit me, starting by accusing me of lying about my past. I have no doubt that once he learned my son was in the hospital, he decided that the best way to ruin me was to accuse me of abuse.”

“Why?” The judge asked leadingly.

“I have no idea why. Perhaps because I managed to make something of myself while he’s still living in the house we grew up in.”

“You’re a member of the one profession that everyone hates.” Judge Douglass retorted. “You know what everyone told me about going to law school? They said don’t. As far as I’m concerned you made a mistake by pursuing law. Maybe other people are impressed, but I’m not.”

Payton looked like someone had slapped him.

“And the bruise in question was a month old when Mr. Foster was given physical custody of Virgil.” Janus pointed out. “At that time Virgil had no contact with anyone without his father knowing about it. In fact, by Mr. Foster’s own admittance Virgil had no secrets from him and no way of doing anything without his knowledge.”

“With all due respect, your honor.” Payton’s lawyer commented. “This only clears Mr. Foster from having caused that bruise. Virgil could have very well done it himself or received it at school.”

“Virgil,” The judge went gentle again. “Can you explain how you got this bruise?”

“Don’t bother asking him, we know what he’s going to say.” Payton snapped.

“When I want to hear from you, I’ll call you.” Judge Douglass pointed the little hammer at him. “Virgil, answer whenever you feel ready.”

Virgil looked as if he were about to be hit by a train. He shook his head and blinked repeatedly.

“Payton and I were arguing, and he grabbed one of my belts off a chair or something…” Virgil inhaled sharply through his teeth. “And he hit me with it.”

“Did he do that a lot?”

Virgil gagged and slumped back into his seat, breathing hard.

“May I have some water?” Virgil whispered.

“Of course.” Judge Douglass said gently. “Bailiff, could you bring him some water?”

“Your honor,” Payton interrupted. “With all due respect, you’re not really going to humor him, are you?”

“I’m interested in what you mean by humoring him.” Judge Douglass looked down at him.

“Humoring him in his so called ‘anxiety attacks’. He only uses them as an excuse, and now he’s using it as a pity ploy.”

“I’m really not.” Virgil panted, looking like he was going to faint.

The bailiff brought Virgil a bottle of water. He fumbled opening it. Patton started to stand up only for Logan to pull him back down.

“Are you feeling better?” Judge Douglass addressed Virgil.

Virgil nodded.

“Mr. Foster. The older Mr. Foster.” The judge turned again. “Virgil has been diagnosed with severe anxiety by two doctors and is suspected to have PTSD. The fact that you deny this is concerning.”

“Your honor, this disorder is merely him being overly dramatic.”

“Doctors would disagree.”

“Of course, they would, their entire business is based on humoring these people so they can take advantage. No doctor benefits from Virgil acting his age instead of behaving like a toddler.”

“Virgil.” The judge ignored Payton. “Did your father hit you often?”  

“Not very often.” Virgil inhaled sharply. “Just when he lost his temper. Like if I argued with him or if I got bad grades. He, he, uh. He normally just grabbed my wrists. And kind of, squeezed them really hard. Sometimes he dug his nails in, but he didn’t like to leave marks on a body part that couldn’t be covered up that easy.”

Patton quietly rubbed his own wrist, phantom pains returning.

“Do you have a clear recollection of when the hitting started?”

“Payton started hitting me when I was around ten.” Virgil squeezed the bottle, crackling the plastic. “I don’t really remember why he started. I just remember that he slapped me one time. And then he never stopped.”

“What do you say, Mr. Foster?”

“I maintain my innocence.” Payton said harshly. “Even if you they can prove that Virgil was injured, they cannot prove that I was the one who injured him. Which I was not.”

“Virgil says differently.” The judge countered.

“Virgil is thirteen! He’s a child, and most likely has been coerced into testifying against me.”

“That so?”

“Yes.”

“Really, because so far, he not only says you hit him, but is saying why you thought it was ok to hit him all those times. The only case that is falling apart here is yours.”

A cold silence hung over them.

“Mr. Pent, please continue.” His honor sighed.

“Certainly, your honor.” Janus didn’t blink. “I would like to call the court’s attention an event on the fifteenth of August that led to Virgil being hospitalized. The official claim was that he fell down the stairs, but his injuries suggest repeated blows, inconsistent with a fall. There is also the fact that the defendant claimed at the time that Virgil was morphine intolerant, while recent tests proved that Virgil has no such allergy.”

“Mr. Foster, would you care to explain that?” Judge Douglass asked.

“The official reports say that Virgil fell down the stairs because he fell down the stairs.” Payton insisted. “His doctors didn’t feel the need to interrogate me at the time. Which is telling of this case’s validity.”

“And Virgil,” Judge Douglass asked softly. “What do you say happened?”

Virgil inhaled tensely and closed his eyes quickly. Tears leaked out.

“I got held back in school.” Virgil exhaled. “Payton yelled at me the whole ride home. When we got inside, he slapped me. And… and… he just started hitting me. I don’t remember much, but I do know he threw me down the stairs.”

Virgil wiped away tears with a shaking hand.

“Ok, why don’t you go back and sit with your uncles?” Judge Douglass said gently.

The bailiff brought Virgil back to them and Patton instantly took him into his arms.

“Now, as to Virgil’s supposed morphine allergy?” The judge asked.

“I may have suggested the allergy in error.” Payton said. “I thought he was intolerant because both me and his mother are.”

“Medical records from your family disagree.” Janus argued. “Your mother received a good deal of morphine while she was ill. Patton was on several morphine related opioids after an accident that ruined his teeth. And you yourself received morphine during a surgery. Not only that but, Hazel Drake, Virgil’s mother, has no such allergy listed either. Records also show that Virgil had never been tested for this intolerance prior to his so-called fall down the stairs. So, you would truly have no way of knowing if he had an allergy or not.”

Payton had nothing to say. Patton and Logan breathed a sigh of relief. Virgil looked at them nervously. He was chewing on his sleeve. They each took one of his hands.

“Virgil has also been diagnosed with both severe anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder since his stay in the hospital.” Janus continued, looking like a cobra about to strike. “So, I would like to call Dr. Emile Picani to the stand.”

Dr. Picani walked professionally to the stand and was sworn in.

“Dr. Picani, what was your diagnosis of Virgil Foster?” Janus asked coolly.

“Virgil is suffering from severe anxiety due to an extremely stressful home life and post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from physical and emotional abuse.” Emile began. “Over the course of our sessions I learned that Virgil had been wetting the bed throughout his entire childhood and up until now.”

Payton scoffed; it was clear that he didn’t think anyone would hear him. But all eyes turned in his direction.

“A very telling sign of emotional abuse.” Emile continued, ignoring Payton. “Virgil also reported daily panic or anxiety attacks, night terrors and a complete loss of appetite. The fact that he hadn’t been eating was obvious when he was admitted because he was roughly twenty pounds underweight.”

“Did Virgil mention any instances of abuse in any session?” Janus led.

“He told me that if he would wet the bed, his father would mock him severely. He also mentioned one instance, which we talked about earlier, when he tried to defend himself to his father and was hit with a belt.”

“Objection, Your Honor.” Payton’s lawyer stood up. “Dr. Picani is only repeating something he heard during this trial. There is no proof that Virgil told him this in therapy.”

“Overruled.” His Honor retorted. “The evidence that Virgil is suffering mentally still remains.”  

“Your Honor.” Payton’s lawyer continued. “Virgil’s bed wetting could be a result of being rehomed after the arrest of his father.”

“We already established that it had been happening for a long time before that.” Janus said smoothly.

Janus moved gracefully, almost as if he was slithering.

“In that case.” Payton’s lawyer argued. “it could be the result of a learning disability or a ploy for attention.”

“Dr. Picani,” Janus looked back to the stand waving a gloved hand. “What such disabilities would cause bed wetting at this late an age?”

Virgil looked down and covered his face with his hands. Patton noticed that his ears were turning red.

“It’s ok, Honey.” Patton whispered, petting him tenderly. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Any disability that would cause bed wetting for this long would be apparent in other aspects.” Emile answers. “Low functioning autism, severe Down Syndrome or Locked-In Syndrome to name a few. Virgil clearly has none of these. And the bed wetting gets worse when he’s stressed out. I can guarantee that it’s not an attention ploy because prior to receiving therapy Virgil was avoiding fluids altogether so he wouldn’t wet the bed. This led to him being severely dehydrated when he was admitted.”  

“Anything else?” Judge Douglass asked the room.

“Yes, Your Honor.” Payton’s lawyer continued. “Dr. Picani only has Virgil’s word that he had been having panic attacks or anxiety attacks regularly. The same goes with the night terrors.”

“Virgil nearly had a panic attack while he was testifying.” His Honor said deadpan. “And showed clear signs of having an anxiety disorder. As for the night terrors…”

He turned to Patton and Logan.

“Mr. Foster, Mr. Berry, has Virgil had any night terrors since staying with you?”

“Yes, your honor.” Logan nodded calmly. “He has had both night terrors and nightmares almost regularly. Both those and the bed wetting have decreased with anti-anxiety medicine, therapy and a less stressful environment.”

“Objection.” Payton argued. “We only have their word that Virgil has had such episodes. And there is serious doubt as to Mr. Berry’s credibility.”

“Why is that?” The judge asked.

“He is on the Autistic spectrum.”

“Mr. Pent, have you presented all the facts for your case against the defendant?” Judge Douglass looked to Janus.

“I have evidence to suggest neglect.” Janus added, coldly. “But I’ll make it quick.”

“Do it then.”

“Virgil was diagnosed with Strep throat when he was admitted. He had a severe case, due to not seeing a doctor about it. As Virgil’s guardian, Payton Foster would be responsible for taking him to a doctor, but it was revealed that Virgil had dealt with the illness for ten days. Virgil was also twenty pounds underweight. His father would have noticed this but did nothing. We also know that Mr. Foster, the defendant, denied his son pain killers based on an assumption of an allergy that he had never been tested for. There is also Virgil’s window being nailed shut and the fact that Mr. Foster, the defendant, had no smoke detectors in his home. Which led to Virgil’s nearly being killed in a fire. We also established that Virgil had a bedwetting problem that his father never sought medical advice for, and potentially mocked him for. Even if you doubt abuse, you cannot deny that gross negligence was at play.”  

“Alright.” His Honor nodded. “Mr. Foster, you may present your case.”    

[effervescible]

Trick or Treat 2020 letter

Hi there! Thanks for checking out my letter! First, I want to note that while I hope my likes & prompts are helpful in sparking ideas, optional ideas are optional, and I'd rather you go with a premise that you feel really good about and are jazzed to create rather than something that checks a lot of boxes but you don't feel strongly about.

General likes: adventures, complicated relationships, loyalty/BFFs being rock solid in the face of adversity, canon divergence/"for want of a nail" AUs, time travel, exploring the setting beyond what's shown in canon, outsider point of view, established relationships, found family/unusual family arrangements, in-world texts, amnesia, exploring identity issues, supernatural elements, characters wrangling with past mistakes without demonizing anyone, close friends forced to fight, missing scenes, post-canon events, characters being very competent DNWs: AUs other than canon divergence, omegaverse, cheating/infidelity, non-canon gender identities, major character death, hopeless endings (anst is fine though), excessively saccharine fluff (but general good feelings/happy stuff is fine) If you're interested in writing smut, please no scat, watersports or dubcon/noncon (though bad idea sex that characters might kick themselves for later is absolutely fine). More detailed stuffed regarding my requests: KINGDOM HEARTS I only requested Roxas as a character because I'd really like something where he is either the main character or has a strong role, but feel free to include whatever other characters you like! I adore the sea salt trio to the moon on back, but I also enjoy seeing him interact with characters he had no or few interactions with in canon. His relationship with Sora and how complicated it can be is also endlessly fascinating to me. I also enjoy bouncing him off Riku, Ven, the BBS trio and his former Organization comrades, especially those who only knew him as a dazed clueless kid and not an angry ball of pointy fury. A few canon-specific requests/notes: -If you write something post-KH3, feel free to fast forward slightly and assume Sora's been brought back somehow, you don't even have to explain how. -Please no post-KH3 resurrected/redeemed Vanitas; I felt satisfied with the resolution of his story in KH3. That said, if you wanted to include him in some other way, that's cool! -Also please no dad!Isa. I think their relationship becoming something more positive is interesting and complicated, but I just can't buy that he'd ever have that kind of emotional authority over Roxas. (Using him as a Fake Parent for plot purposes makes me chuckle though.) As far as ship stuff goes, please no Axel/Roxas (nothing against it, it's just not how I see their relationship) or Namine/Roxas (KH2 leaned too hard into the Sora/Kairi parallelism for me to enjoy it romantically.) Platonic friendships with both of them are A+++ though. tbh I'm not super shippy about him with anyone, but if you have an idea that includes a ship, I'm pretty okay with all other characters, male or female. Spooky Scary ideas: -Delving into the nature of Nobodyhood and being half a person and just being different from standard humans has a lot of potential here. And of course Roxas has identity issues ahoy. He might be in a much better place post-KH3 but that doesn't mean everything is 100% great now. -Visiting creepy places. Maybe a missing portion from Days, or something post-KH3 now that he can travel as much as he wants? -Canon divergence AUs/time travel/supernatural stuff where Stuff Goes Wrong is always interesting. Sweet Treat ideas: -Post-KH3 ADVENTURE TIME. Suddenly Roxas has a lot of free time! He and some friends deserve to go exploring. -Roxas meeting and getting to know the Twilight Town kids for real. What was that like? -General trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life now that it's his own. Getting to know the other wielders outside of a crisis situation. -Terra and Aqua dealing with Ven's sudden non-evil twin also has a lot of potential. ASSASSIN'S CREED Similar to Kingdom Hearts, I only listed Altair because I like him so much, but feel free to include most other characters! He became one of my favorite Assassins because I'm really fond of the Huge Jerkass Learns To Not Be a Jerkass and Becomes Kinda Cool Actually trope, as well as his boundless intellectual curiosity and extreme competence (while still being very flawed.) Sweet Treat ideas: -What about some slice of life, even if that life is mainly in an Assassin stronghold? The mundane side of being a mysterious stabby brotherhood is alway fun to explore, along with Altair having to actually run Masyaf once he takes power. Would especially love to see Malik by his side for the latter, because I'm sure there's a lot to mine there. -Maybe a look at younger Altair hitting some milestones as he grew up, before he became an arrogant dick. -I'm pretty fond of dad!Altair because I doubt it would come naturally to him but he'd care so much. Spooky Scary Ideas: -The Pieces of Eden are always really creepy when they activate in-game, so inventing new ancient artifacts that facilitate creepy shit happening would be a lot of fun. -An Assassination gone wrong in some way? I do enjoy angst and whump. Also, not sure which this would fall under (maybe both), but finagling time travel (either real or simulated somehow) so Altair can meet other AC characters is something I enjoy a lot. Caveat - I have not played Oddysey, so please nothing after Origins if you want to give this a try. Character-wise, I love how his relationship with Malik evolved from bitterness to ride or die. Altair and Malik as either best friends or a couple are both excellent, but if you write them as a couple during a time period when Maria Thorpe would be around, I'd prefer you just pretend she doesn't exist rather than finagle a breakup or infidelity. (I also like them as a throuple but please don't feel pressured on this - I'm mainly looking to avoid a 'Altair never really cared about her' scenario.) OVERWATCH NGL, I ship Mercy/Moira like burning, but very much as a complicated thing where their differing ethics present an insurmountable barrier between them yet they're incredibly drawn to one another both personally and intellectually, and a lot of angst ensues (well, for Mercy; I'm not sure Moira actually cares about the ethics division.) They're especially interesting to me when Moira's edges aren't smoothed down - I LIKE that she could take some really dubious actions and still be someone Mercy can't quite get over. That said! If you don't feel them as a ship, pretty much everything I just said also applies to them as professional peers/onetime friends/science rivals, just without the sexual tension. Sweet Treat Ideas: -Pre-Overwatch shutdown/Talon era where they're actually working on a project together or sparking cool new scientific ideas or just smoochin' if you go for a ship. -Likewise earlier in canon - Mercy and Moira both want to woo the other one but have VERY different ideas about how to go about it. (Babe, I did some mad science for you, isn't it romantic?) -Surely Overwatch had at least one obligatory office Halloween event -Epistolary fic feels like it could be really fun. Spooky Scary ideas: -I mean, Moira is the evil/amoral scientist trope, I feel like you could get a ton of creepy stuff just from there. -Bad idea ex sex -General clashing of ideals + angst Also I'm explicitly counting Dr. Junkenstein-verse AU fic as being the exception to my request for only canon divergence AUs. That would be a ton of fun, for either a trick or a treat.

[forestwater87]

A moment to chat about “The Butterfinger Effect” (obv spoilers for S4e17)

Wow, so a lot of people fucking haaaaaated this episode. And since I’m addicted to That Discourse, I had to say something because I think they’re super wrong. (And this isn’t me just being a total Camp Camp fangirl here; like, the pee episode was bad. That was bad tv and bad for all the senses. There have been mediocre and even shitty episodes of this show; this just wasn’t one of them.)

There are a couple different points of criticism aimed at this episode, and while there’s one I’d like to take a deep dive into in particular I might as well take some shots at the others real fast:

The moral was too obvious: god, you guys whine all day and night that you wanna see Max show character growth and whenever he displays it you hate how it’s done. This show has never been one for subtlety. I mean, the climate change ep? This is how the show works; it’s part of its twisted-Saturday-morning-cartoons charm, it’s the most efficient way to get a point across in a short runtime, and it was the set up for the joke at the end of the episode.

It didn’t advance the plot: bitch what plot are you talking about???

Not enough dad//vid: listen I’ve made my thoughts about the fandom’s idea of dad//vid incredibly clear at this point, so let’s just:

The most common argument, though, is that it’s all so very “unrealistic” and “out of character.”

Considering the show’s concept of “realistic” involves squirrel armies (hey, another mediocre episode! See, I can call them when I see them) and a universe-destroying space octopus, I’m not sure how to rebut that without another Bianca del Rio gif. So, the out-of-character accusation. 

Listen, characterization is hard as balls. Everyone fucks it up sometimes, and not every characterization in every episode is gonna work for you. 

But you know who nailed it this time? Eddy Goddamn Rivas, the writer for this episode, that’s who.

In fact, I’d argue that the entire point of the episode is that it’s not Space/Race Kid’s new interest that caused the majority of the changes, or some sort of mystical “butterfly/finger effect,” but Nurf’s attempt to put things back to “normal.” He caused the thing he was trying to prevent -- which happens to dovetail perfectly with the moral of accepting change and not letting it freak you out.

This episode is brilliant, and plays with the canon characterizations of all our campers while staying true to them, and I’m gonna show you how.

Under a cut, because not everyone has time for that shit. But first, a juicy preview of the sexy discourse to come:

Space Kid

This one is the easiest to defend, because Space Kid is just . . . Race Kid. Aside from maybe having an idea that he’s cooler than he used to believe he was -- which makes sense, because why do people buy fancy sports cars except that they think it makes them look cool? -- we’ve seen his tendency to latch onto an interest and go 110%. 

Reasonable, hilarious, and adorable. I actually don’t think anyone has any problem with Race Kid, so this is a quickie. 

As for why he dropped it so fast: I mean, hasn’t everyone gotten really into something before deciding it wasn’t as fun as an old hyperfixation? I’ve been coming back to the Camp Camp well since 2016 because it’s just so much fun.

Nurf

Nurf is the one I think people are sleeping on. All the time, always, but especially in this episode. The summary hints that Max is the one unable to handle the idea of change -- something this entire season has been working towards, and I literally just realized change has been a thematic thread throughout several of the episodes and that’s really cool -- but it’s actually Nurf who can’t stand the thought of things being different.

And, in trying to prevent the “butterfinger effect,” he sets it in motion. The irony is delicious, and his head in a fishbowl makes me laugh every goddamn time.

(Also, “A battle of wits is not my strong suit” was just hysterical. Nurf is full of great lines and y’all need to stop ignoring what a comedic goldmine this kid is.)

Preston

Oh, I’m sorry, are we shocked that Preston would jump at the chance to be admired by people, even if it means doing something he doesn’t particularly enjoy?

Were we all in comas during the episode this very season that was literally only about this exact thing?

As to why he’d pick football: he’s a theater kid addicted to the corniest, most cliche tropes. When he got a taste of power by bullying Nurf -- which was also totally in character, because honestly, Preston is not a very nice kid -- of course he went to the thing that in every 80s teen movie meant “cool bully who’s super popular”: the sports jock.

Add to that getting positive recognition from Campbell -- who we’ll get to -- and this swap is totally in-character, and entirely kicked off by the power rush he got from finally getting to be the one who bullies instead of being bullied. 

Nurf created his own worst nightmare by being afraid of change. This episode is fucking brilliant.

Harrison

To nobody’s surprise, Harrison is a sadist who thinks he’s hot shit.

He’s emotionally traumatized Neil to win an argument, he’s made Max vomit up, just, like, so many things and shown zero remorse, and got an unflappable sense of self-worth that skates right off the edge into total egotism.

These are the things we love about him. (And yes, obviously his arrogance comes from a deep well of insecurity, but that only exacerbates why he’d absolutely refuse to help Nurf, because it gives him a chance to be better than someone.)

As for why he’d choose to model himself after goth!Max . . . 

Honestly, this one doesn’t entirely make sense to me. He’s never shown any particular interest in Max. The only thing I can assume is that . . . well, actually Max was right, and at least in Harrison’s eyes, he is at the top of the social hierarchy. And he got there by giving zero fucks about what anyone thinks of him.

Which is what Harrison did, by refusing to help Nurf. We come full circle!

(WAIT: When Max asks why he’s acting like . . . you know, him, Harrison’s response is, “Why? It’s not making you insecure, is it?” While we could take this as “I’m coming for your shtick,” it could also imply that Max’s general Maxyness makes Harrison feel insecure about who he is. Which explains why, as soon as he’s offered a chance to emulate someone who makes him feel insecure, he chooses Max.)

Ered

Nerris and Ered have established themselves as friends, and she at least has expressed a token interest in playing DnD before. She’s listened to Nerris talk about this stuff enough to repeat it at times -- albeit incorrectly -- and so, when there’s “nothing better to do,” she tries something her friend is super into and finds it really fun and embraces it.

I can attest that DnD totally turns you into a massive, shameless nerd. It’s just that awesome.

Plus, she’s too cool to give a shit if people think she’s being nerdy, so of course she’s not embarrassed about being seen dressed like a Viking; in “Ered Loses Her Cool,” she had that moment of growth where she decided that her coolness comes from her happily choosing to be herself. 

Also, she gets to carry an axe around. So like, extra cool points for that.

Nerris

Nerris is gonna grow up to be a band geek, and she’ll especially enjoy the theatricality of marching around in parades while dressed like a Christmas Nutcracker. It’s like being a real-life bard.

This is the only one that really has a “supernatural” level to its change, except maybe the counselors (yes, I’ve come around on Neil; I’ll defend him at the end). While everyone else can be explained by psychological and in-character reasons, I have no idea what caused her to suddenly have this whole getup. I’d chalk it down to her seeing everyone else trying something new and being interested in upping her LARPing game, except she explicitly says she doesn’t know where it came from.

It’s one of the few that doesn’t make perfect sense, but I don’t really mind it because it’s such a top-tier episode otherwise.

Dolph

This is another one with questionable backing in the rest of the canon. However, I think it works less on a characterization basis than on an archetypical one. 

Hear me out: how many artists actually make it professionally? And how many of them end up falling back on something solid and lucrative and artistically unfulfilling to pay the bills? Some people are of course lucky enough to land their dream job, and others are lucky enough to find something close enough to that dream job to make money while still doing something creative and adjacent to their interests (becoming an art teacher, for example).

But in Hollywood, at least, the idea is that you’re either a professional artist who Makes It, a starving artist who’s sacrificing for their dream, or a total corporate sellout who abandons their soul for the sake of profit. A child, especially one with a father so unsupportive of his artistic interests, would only have the Hollywood idea of success to fall back on, which means if Dolph was tying to think of a way to “grow up” and stop wasting his time on being an artist, of course he’d jump straight into the most famously corrupt, artistically soulless type of job possible.

The problem here, of course, is that I don’t know what triggered it; like Nerris, I don’t really see a clear line from motivation to new hobby. However, it works really well at poking fun of the “artist to sellout” pipeline portrayed in popular media, so I certainly can’t be mad at it.

Also, look at these credit scores:

David’s score is either astoundingly good -- 825 out of 850 -- or astoundingly bad -- 325 out of 850 -- depending on what that first number is. Gwen’s credit is pretty bad, which isn’t surprising considering she’s working at Camp Campbell, but I’m still proud of her for being either the second- or third-highest person at the camp.

None of the campers should have credit, so these numbers are just goofy, but I’m as shocked by Nikki’s “exceptional” credit as I am by Nurf’s “literally not on the chart by 298 numbers” rating. Assuming Dolph made at least the campers’ scores up, and we know he’s pretty good friends with Nikki, I assume he gave her a higher score because he likes her, Max’s is trash because their relationship is rocky at best, and Nurf’s is just petty and spiteful because he bullies Dolph, and I just love it. 

(I assume Mr. Campbell’s credit is in negative numbers, and QM doesn’t exist on any official records.)

Counselors & Campbell

Campbell, I’m going to argue, makes sense.

This? Not so much.

I have no idea what Gwen’s talking about -- “I need her showing. We all agreed to it”???? -- and literally none of this makes sense in any understanding of characterization or anything, but my counterpoint would be:

Look how cute Gwen looks dressed up like David.

“Mumble, grumble, aliens!” and something about Mormons in David’s cheery voice adds 5 years to my life.

David’s floof is now beard.

David is wearing plaid.

QM. Just . . . QM.

Did I mention that Gwen looks so fucking good here? I swoon. So hot. Babe. Step on me, mommy.

Anyway. Campbell. 

He’s not what you’d call . . . nurturing, by any means, so at first this weird dad!swap is totally out of left field. However, he has proven himself to be . . . well, not a great caretaker, but someone who does put in the effort when he has to, and is surprisingly good at dealing with the kiddos when forced.

He’s also proven himself to be remarkably introspective, starting back in Season 3. He does to an extent feel bad about what he’s done, and to varying extents wants to make amends for it. So when he starts talking about legacy, and what a man leaves behind -- 

-- I can’t say I’d be all that surprised if he stumbled upon Preston trying to be “cool” with sports camp and decided (probably with the help of whatever supernatural strangeness came over the other counselors) that he wants to have a better impact on this camp than a bunch of broken-down equipment, a pile of debts, and a “son” who’s disappointed in him. 

Listen, what I’m trying to say is that I will die defending my Trash Grandpa and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. There’s good in him!!!! I CAN SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!

On a less “Campbell is my dad” note, as a rather stereotypical Manly Man(TM), he’d be best served helping some weedy little brat become more traditionally masculine. i’m saying Campbell was great at football in high school and is in part reliving his glory days, okay?

Nikki

Oh, come on. Nikki’s always shown an interest in science, and particularly in the mayhem it causes. When Neil is out of commission, and she sees that everyone else is doing major hobby swaps -- including Ered, who I believe she still sees as her idol -- why wouldn’t she want to join in on the fun in the most destructive way possible?

The show didn’t say she was a good scientist, after all. 

Neil

Remember when I said I couldn’t defend Neil? WELL SURPRISE BITCHES, TURNS OUT I CAN! 

(I didn’t realize it until halfway through writing this post, to be fair.)

But think about it: the boy does not respond well to his mind being freaked. We have observed this.

This is not a good reaction to an unsolvable logical problem.

I’m just saying, there’s not a huge difference between these pictures. Neil doesn’t do well when his brain is overloaded with things he doesn’t understand, and everyone around him turning into different people -- which is how it must look from their perspective, even if I can sit here and explain it in ways that make sense at least to me -- broke the poor boy’s brain.

He’s a very fragile ecosystem, our little Neil. You must protect him from thinking too many thinks and getting overheated.

So . . . yeah. This episode is rad, way more of it makes sense in terms of the characters’ motivations than people are giving it credit for, and the ones that don’t make a ton of sense are at least funny and clever enough to be overlooked, at least in this broad’s humble opinion.