#it's all law's fault for going tf off at the end
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SOME* OF YA'LL ARE NEVER GOING TO GET YOUR DESIRES, AND YOU'LL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELVES
*WARNING: TOUGH LOVE RANT. also, like everything in life, take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not doing anything i mention in this post, then this post doesn't apply to you.
before anyone comes for me, MOST of us are going through (or have gone through) hard circumstances. many of us have come from abusive households, abusive relationships, poverty, homelessness, & just overall bad circumstances.
but you know why the bloggers & anons who succeed in manifesting their desires/desired lives ACTUALLY SUCCEED?
because they took accountability for their current state and their limiting patterns.
because they were disciplined & determined enough to claim their desire(s), apply the law, & persist regardless of EVERYTHING.
because they knew that this practice would actually change their lives forever and allowed NOTHING to stand in their way.
AND GUESS WHAT? NOW THEY HAVE THEIR DESIRES/DESIRED LIFE!
if you were to be 100% honest and tell me why after months/years of being in this community you STILL haven't manifested your desires/desired life yet, what would be the answer?
overconsumption? procrastination? laziness? lack of persistence?
whatever the case may be, what i do know for a FACT is that it has been no one's fault but YOURS.
many of you guys come running on this platform; asking the same repetitive questions, complaining about not seeing results, whining about how sad your life is and how hard your circumstances are, or just straight up hating on some of these bloggers that are helping you FOR FREE, when they could be using that time to enjoy their desires/the life that they manifested for themselves.
LIKE...DO YOU REALIZE HOW PATHETIC & ENTITLED SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE?
"can you pleaseee manifest/tap into the void for me?" 🥺
"im so lazyyy, i can't be bothered to persist..." 🥱
"loa is FAKE! you guys are a bunch of lying b***hes..." 🤬
"my life is sooo hard, i have such a horrible life...*continues to trauma dump*" 😭
OHHH MYYY F*CKINGGG GODDD!
there are MILLIONS of people in the world who are in unfavorable/horrible circumstances that have NO IDEA what the law of assumption is, and have NO WAY to access this type of information!
you guys literally have the knowledge and awareness to make the most beautiful life possible for yourselves with JUST YOUR IMAGINATION, and yet, A LOT of you guys are the most ungrateful, lazy, irresolute, undisciplined whiners, who don't want to do even the BARE MINIMUM to change your entire lives!!
TRUST ME, everyone on this platform (including myself) understands that there will be setbacks. we all know that they are going to be bad days. we all understand that everyone has their own personal/mental issues. we get that life has obstacles and that not every day will be a win.
BUT, you guys NEED to put in the effort & not give up! you guys NEED to STOP letting your ego win! you guys NEED to get tf off of social media and stop overconsuming information. you guys NEED to claim your desires/desired life, stay consistent & persist until your desires/desired life has materialized.
because guess what, a day turns into a year pretty quickly, and you'll have gone another year of NOT having your desires/desired life, and it's going to be no one's fault but yourself...
do you REALLY want another year of watching everyone else get what they want besides you? do you REALLY want another year of not having your desired appearance, your sp, or financial freedom?
REALLY?
i hope the answer is no...because that's a HUGE waste of time that could be used to actually have the things & life you want.
everyone deserves to live the life they want...but at the end of the day, no one & nothing has the power to manifest the life you want but YOU.
#law of assumption#loa#manifest#manifesting#manifesation#spirituality#self concept#neville goddard#success story#void state#void success#void success story
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Trafalgar D. Water Law x Reader
Okay so this was meant to be a one-shot but words got away from me so words are all over the place and there’s hella typos especially since my dyslexia ridden ass didn’t go tf to sleep last night
TW and CW: Hanahaki Disease, angst, hurt/and only for now no comfort, unintentionally toxic(on Law's part), slight mentions of blood, toxic relationship dynamic
also cross posted to Ao3
part 2
Dive through Crystal Waters
Growing up she was promised a myriad of things. Familial security, a quiet calm life from taking over the small botanical business, etc. Many, many, and many more still were promised to her, including that love was patient, kind, gentle, and warm, especially when it would come to whoever would say the cursed words of “I love you” back. Well for starters, she did not end up with a quiet or calm life having ventured into the new world, no familial security having left them behind to chase after her simple dream of supporting that man's dream. Her time on the Polar Tang interrupted her many gifts of promises being fulfilled, including that love would be patient, kind, gentle, and warm. Everyday either a run or fight with the marines, gathering supplies for their journey ahead, run-ins with other pirates were just a few things that were the opposite of the promised life.
The stiff thick fabric of the boiler suit leaving her hands exposed to the chilly cold of the submarine, the cold due to a fault in a valve, reminded her of many cold things. Many akin to the object of her affections, Trafalgar Law, Captain of the Heart Pirates, and head of the seafaring vessel she found herself on these past few years. While she busied herself carrying and towing boxes and crates to and from, helping the other crew where she could, she did her best to remind herself of all the wonderful things dealing with the cold she loved. She reminisced about the cold winter seasons that brought snow, the beautiful droplets from rainy days, that first plunge into cold water when going for a swim. She did whatever it was she could do, only to end up right back where she had started.
She remembered his steely gray eyes, his gaze hard as steel. His icy cold hands whenever he felt it suited him to spare her even a few seconds of his embrace, often freezing her in place for what felt like hours and days after he was long gone from his presence. His chilly presence reminded her of lonely snowy fields, barren and nothing for miles in site. Although in the beginning, she believed to have known him well, she found herself slammed into the ship-sinking iceberg of his personality. Only the tiniest bit ever shown and the rest buried deep refusing to surface above any waters to welcome you in the open air.
The crates of spare parts, and repair tools jingled and clinked within their confines. Heavy sounds of a set of boots echoed within the halls as they clunked closer to the boiler room where Shachi and Penguin were waiting for the arrival of the crates’ contents while assessing the pipes and valves for the source of their rather common problem of the newfound chilly air. Stepping into the freezing room her sight is welcomed with Shachi crouching weirdly below a pipe on the wall, Penguin leaning just as strangely on a step stool above the very same pipe, both sharing the same comically stern faces of concentration. The loud echo of the door shutting with an accidental slam led to Shachi shooting up the same instant Penguin sent himself tumbling off of the step stool, both crashing into one another after both had banged their heads on the poor unsuspecting metal of the pipe.
“W-well hey dollface.” Poor Penguin quipped from his newfound place on the floor sprawled awkwardly across Shachi’s lap.
“He-ow- hey short stuff.” The whimpering response of the aforementioned redhead was drenched in annoyance at the fall; was slumped partially against the wall, his hat skewed on top of his shaggy red tresses of messy hair. Promptly shoving his friend to free his legs from the confines of his friends weight, Shachi scrambled to meet their friend and fellow crew member wordlessly taking the top crate from her hands to ease the load. Having recovered not much long after being shoved, Penguin was right behind to take the crate of tools and repair equipment.
“Thanks for grabbing this for us. Really saved our necks here since a certain bear not only lost what we needed but is too busy napping to go look!” Looking over to a far off corner was Bepo peacefully napping the afternoon away completely unbothered from the growled yell of your ginger friend, box now perched on his hip under his arm. Penguin, already busy grabbing tools and a new valve using a hand to yank at the collar of his uniform in a desperate attempt to cover more of his face to shield from the cold.
“‘Course! Mind if I help?” Already reaching for the remaining materials needed for repair, plumes of soft steam fleeing from her lips into the freezing room as she stated her rhetorical question having already decided she’d help where she could. Even when it came to the mundane and stressful, these two never failed to have her laughing, feeling as though she was in stitches not even halfway through the repair job. Deciding it best to wait here in the boiler room to wait and see if things stabilize and maintain proper functions, the three of them plopped on the floor in the far opposite side to their furry crewmate to avoid disturbing him. After it was done she simply sat between the two taller men as they joked and poked fun at one another, while Bepo was still sound asleep and snoring from his spot in the far off corner of the room. Jokes made minutes to turn to an hour, and jokes slowly faded into stories of childhood.
Right in the middle of a particularly hilarious story Bepo’s snoring ceased and in walked the man who stole the young woman’s heart. Quickly Penguin and Shachi erupted from their respective spots on either side of you to stand and properly greet their Captain and longtime friend. “ We found and repaired the valve no problemo Law.” Penguin already spouting words at the even taller form of Law as he stood in the slightly warmer space, the two already conversing fondly with one another. More like Penguin spouting words and Law standing there while he smiled and exchanged slightly less friendly quips with their mutual friend, the small chubby penguin on his head slightly bobbing about at each of his expressive movements while he spoke. Something possessing him to look over to where his now long term girlfriend and Shachi were, (Y/N) and his friend giving a friendly wave, her’s a bit more enthusiastic, the other clutching a wrench that was used earlier, while (Y/N) sat with a big grin at seeing him.
“Hey Shachi,” coming over to place a hand on the killer whale hat wearing man,” nice work!” The brother duo happy having their day's work done, waved goodbye to their Captain leaving the three of them with a presumably sleeping Bepo. The other two were already rambling, jumping from joking to arguing and back to jokes, while she was left on the floor smiling at their usual antics. There on her spot on the floor, she couldn’t help but notice that her excited hello wasn’t responded to. Completely left out, and hoping that maybe he just didn’t happen to notice her right there next to the very friend he just walked up to not even moments ago.
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Having finished her menial tasks and not having any remaining energy to help the others any more than she already has she retired to her workspace as the ship's botanist. Upon opening the door you're instantly met with a smell and site that always puts her at ease no matter what. The odor of acidic and alkaline soil, rocks, and processing compost welcomed her in with the warmest of embraces of familiarity and feelings of home. No menial tasks or chores, no Bepo or Shachi and penguin exchanging jokes, no pesky marines determined to take the nearest pirate's head available, and most importantly, no Trafalgar Law. After working the heavy metal door closed, she made an instant attempt of removing her uniform, moving about the room towards her work table like second nature as she had done countless days and times before now, dropping the suit on a stool a couple of feet away from her desk. She looked fondly over the random plant clippings and tools, shuffling through notes to remember where she had left off on her work.
Currently, at the moment she has plans. Struggling to find a proper time balance between her shared duties as crew and her title as botanist, she needed a new way of ensuring they all got the proper water needed whenever she couldn’t be here, and hopefully free up some of her time for other things.Lost in her scanning of different pages and sketches and notes, the sound of the heavy door was lost to her, along with the approaching presence. Having searched, any stacks of paper she found the needle in the haystack, her irrigation blueprints.
“Fuck yes! Found you ya sneaky shit.” Holding up the page in triumph, her actions were met with a deep chuckle. Familiar hands found her waist and a head placed on her shoulder was all she needed to know instantly it was her partner in literal crime.
“Hey baby, what do you have there?” Tilting her head enough to give a quick peck on the side of his temple, she dusted off random specks of dirt from the blueprint shifting her hold on it to where he could see.
“Blueprints for the greenhouse. Do you wanna see?” She was practically buzzing with excitement already mentally prepping a checklist of steps and materials needed to bring the plans to fruition. Not really looking at the paper, and more so focused on the feeling of her butt pressed into his front within the hug, all you got met with was a simple hum followed by,” Yeah that’s cool I guess.” She felt a slight sprinkle on her fiery excitement, fighting against the dying flame.
“Hell yeah, it’s cool. This thing once it’s done will do wonders for my workload and free up so much of my time. Which means I get to bother you more often.” a simple roll of the eyes was her only response. Unslotting his arms from the woman’s middle he stood up with a big stretch, a few cracks gracing the otherwise very silent space. A quick tap to her ass, and a wave was the last she saw as she turned back to the blue crinkled parchment.
“Well, see you later.” and with that, she was again alone, the metal of the door clanging shut sitting heavy on your heart for a reason unbeknownst to you. For some unknown reason this single piece of paper that had previously brought you so much excitement, that lit the fire of passion in your belly, was all but the size of a matchstick now. Still there but much smaller prior to your love’s visit. Quietly placing the paper aside to be mixed in with the barrage of other papers, she went on to grab a recent plant clipping of a medicinal plant and silently set to work on propagating. The page lay just as still and quiet as she left it, leaving it to be forgotten. The dirt and grime of her heart sprouting the first painful seeds of a hard to name feeling whispered in the recesses of her being, sitting alone in the room with nothing but herself and her plants.
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The calm of night had settled and blanketed the sky, and there she was tangled in Law’s sheets, and him not present. It wasn’t anything new, in fact, it was something she found herself slowly getting used to finally after the past several months. Unable to sleep and restless, but lacking the willpower and motivation to move, she stayed in the spot she lay, glancing at the alarm clothing mounted on the bedside table. The green neon read 1:00 A.M. This used to resound a painful stab to her chest at one point, but all she was met with was nothing but the cold spot beside her. Following the knowledge of routine he would be back here in the captain’s quarters anywhere from 2:30 to 4:50, Law gone either messing around with his medical equipment or doing whatever the hell he does all the way into these late hours of night. For the first time in these several months, she felt it. That haunting stab to her chest, and all because she remembered how things used to be.
She remembers how once those steely eyes ignited something in her, and how they’d never fail to spark a smile into action. She remembers feeling like anything she wanted to know about him, Law would present her the book of his life as if ready to read off any page from within it. She remembers how his hugs once made her feel so safe and warm while he would hold her head or back, and would whisper his adoration for her. She remembers when she started sleeping in the same room, they’d walk back together, or being only behind by a few minutes to join her in loving cuddles within the covers of the bed. Now she gets his dick pressed into the back of her pants if she’s lucky, or his hugs accompanied by a grope of the tits or squeeze of her bottom at best, and they're only fleeting.
Here in this bed remembering the sickeningly sweet memories, she laid in the cold room alone. The vines of loneliness spread roots in her heart, a tickle in her throat, and a stinging behind her eyes. Sitting up with an abrupt violent cough she turned away from the door completely missing the three petals of pure white jasmine laid where she coughed into the duvet, and let the sweet embrace of sleep carry her away for the night.
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The sound of the door closing was what pulled (Y/N) back into the world of consciousness. Feeling the faint hints of warmth drenching the sheets next to her within the bed, she scooted closer to what would normally being the toned chest of Law, which normally was followed by and arm draping over her waist to pull her closer while he grumbled something incoherent in his sleepy state. However, she was met only with empty space. The warmth she thought was her lover, just residual heat that was quickly fading in the cool private quarters, Law having already left to start the day. Sitting up and adjusting her sleeping top, attempting to peer around through sleep drunk eyes, she turned to look at the alarm clock beside her once again, taking note the time was now 8:30 in the morning. Groggily sweeping her feet to the floor, she meandered into the attached bathroom smelling the scent of men’s body wash and shampoo, the steam barely left in the room, only a bit of condensation on the edges of the mirror were what remained.
Deciding it best to keep it short and sweet she gave a quick scrub of her body before feeling that similar tickle in her throat as last night. The feeling much like leaves brushing against your arm scraped at her chest. Finished, clean and feeling sick to her stomach, she quickly grabbed her towel from the wall hook, and crouched in front of the toilet. The feeling at first creeping, now screaming at her coughs into the porcelain. Vision blurred, body screeching something was wrong, all she did was ignore them, fumbling around for the toilet lever and wiping away the viscous liquid from her chin. The dark fabric of the towel hid the vermillion shade of her blood from her unknowing gaze. She stumbled to the sink, and when she finally got a glimpse of herself, she had to be perfectly honest. She looked awful. She was paler, dark circles creeping beneath her eyes nestled on puffy eye bags, her skin slightly blotchy with discoloration, her hair a frizzled mess and slightly thinner. A telltale she was sick. “Guess I’m dying,” completely unaware of the accuracy of her deprecating jab.
Now dressed and brushing her teeth she felt a repeated soft brush of something on her hand, a sticky feeling on her jaw. Figuring she maybe didn’t clean her face enough, there in the reflection was a red stained Jasmine petal sitting right smack above her jawline. Without a second thought and only finding it a slightly weird inconvenience she snatched the petal off of her and into the trash bin beside the counter. Stepping out as ready as she could manage for herself in prep of the day she left the bathroom. The lone bloody petal lay among random rubbish in the bin, a silently screaming warning at her incoming doom, and a cacophonous silent warning to Law. Both begrudgingly unaware of what was happening right under their noses.
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Breakfast was the same as it has been these past several months. Everyone laughing, arguing, planning courses or discussing the day ahead while you quietly sat at the far opposite end of Law next to Bepo. (Y/N) stopped trying to get even a word in at this point when it came to breakfast, or even lunch and dinner for that matter. She learned a few months ago after she kept trying that everytime she opened her mouth to say something or even in the middle of a statement, Law would simply interrupt and interject whatever he had to say. Occasionally Bepo being the sweety he was would ask if his dear friend was okay or nudge her into continuing what she had to say, and all that was given in response was a small nod and a smile that was meant to be reassuring.
The rest of the day went as normal, the usual shenanigans happening like clockwork. Crew hurriedly shuffling about, cleaning, fixing random things that need their attention in the Polar Tang, Bepo finishing his work to lay around unconsciously inconveniencing Shachi and Penguin with their tasks, the usual of most usual day happenings. Then there was Law. He either cooped up in the exam room giving a random physical or checking in on his crews health, or he was fucking off somewhere to do whatever he as Captain did nowadays. She attempted to not put too much on herself knowing she’d be on watch duty tonight, doing her best to distract from the winding churning feeling in her chest as she swept slowly, trying and barely succeeding in catching her breath.
“(Y/N), I’m not going to show preferential treatment just because you’re with me, so stop slacking off.” Law’s voice came from somewhere behind her followed by fading footsteps. The feeling in her chest only worsened beyond it’s original state just moments prior to being reprimanded. With a shake of her head she went back to sweeping the deck in prep for meeting up with the Kid Pirates tomorrow. The meeting had something to do with a temporary alliance while they agreed to help one another look for their own things apparently located on some island everyone was prepping to head to in search of their own personal items of interest. The thought of seeing Killer and Heat managed to put a small smile on her face. Both men incredibly sweet despite their rough exteriors, and proving to be genuinely nice friends she feels she’ll always hold dear. Not feeling like there is anything left in her day to day to look forward to anymore, knowing she’d get to see them both eased the subtle darkening of her thoughts.
Night took forever to reach the sky, and now that it’s night, morning was taking just as long, the only sign of it being close to morning being the slightly brightening shades of blue in the sky, stars slowly fading from their painting in the sky. Another part of day by day was just taking place, that being (Y/N) ripping her own heart to shreds at reminiscing on the good old days with her, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin. All four of them were the only crew for a while. The same menial tasks and chores, but they felt more fun, more wonderful and meaningful. It was back when you felt close with not just Shachi and Penguin and Bepo, but with the love of your life also. Suddenly she was hit with another one of her recent coughing fits, this time having no choice but to notice the rush of Jasmine petals rush from her mouth and onto the floor below her, red specks of color sprinkled randomly on the petals. Shaking slightly from the sheer aggressiveness of the coughs she took a petal into one of her shaky palms bringing it up to her face to look more closely at it.
“Jasmine?” The creeping feeling grew bigger than ever, sensations of vines entangling around her lungs, almost like they had an attempt to comfort her in this moment, only ending up nearly suffocating her in the process.
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Deciding it was about damn time to make an effort in comforting herself, she decided why not get dressed up, pay extra attention to her face by applying skincare and makeup, doing her hair in her favorite style, wearing her favorite outfit, and ditching the boiler suit uniform for the Heart Pirates, in preparation of seeing her two friends that were currently anchored next to the Polar Tang just outside. Having finished and feeling satisfied with her appearance finally feeling put together and not dead looking anymore, it was as though it provided slight relief and proved to be just the distraction needed for the horrible physical sensations that seemed to greet her more than her own lover did nowadays.
With a skip in her step, the sub’s botanist made her way up deck to hurriedly scramble to the helmet wearing KIller and a giant absolute unit of a human(or what she assumed) Heat. The two immediately lighting up at the sight of you climbing onto Victoria Punk the two huge men jogging over to greet you. Heat already having snatched you off the wooden floor of the deck into a bone crushing hug, the blue haired man completely unaware of the strangled mutters of “I can’t breathe” and “too tight”, only really noticing when Killer gave him a quick jab in the side.
Just as she was set down, and air flooded her poor lunges, while Heat busied himself instantly with apologizing profusely, Killer the the botanist moving to give reassuring pats on his shoulder for comfort through his seemingly endless sputtering. A loud wrathful scream boomed out onto the deck of Victoria Punk, the three pirates turning their attention to the source to find Kid and Law exiting one of the doors seeming to be mid squabble.
“You mean to tell me, you dragged me into a stupid fuckass alliance over a dumb fucking flo-mmMMm” and as quickly as whatever words were leaving Captain Eustass Kid’s mouth, Law deemed a just as quick smother of the hand was the appropriate thing to do. None of the trio really all that worried even if a fight were to break out, knowing they both could handle themselves continued on about their impatient greetings, Killer taking a much gentler approach of ruffling the young woman’s hair instead of the agro death grip hug from Heat.
Using the sleeves of her shirt to cover her mouth, she excused herself briefly as (Y/N) felt the burning of a coughing fit coming on, rushing to a private place to upchuck more jasmine petals. Pulling her hand back to further look at the damage, there was a visible increase in the number of petals, and within her hand sat a full fluffy plume of a jasmine. The flower looked as though it was covered in red morning dew. This flower being one of the few final warnings of her impending death.
#trafalgardwaterlaw#trafalgar law#trafalgar one piece#trafalgar d law x reader#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece x y/n#angst#one piece angst#hanahaki#one piece killer#penguin and shachi#bepo one piece#heart pirates#kidd pirates#heat one piece
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The umbrella academy season 4 thoughts (contain spoilers)
Let’s start with my top characters this season
Victor
Alison (surprisingly)
Klaus
Didn’t like them much for reasons I’ll explain
Ben
Lila
Five
Neutral about
Diego
Luther
Opinion on each character:
- First off Victor looks extra manly this season idk what it was but it was so good and he was so brave! I’m so proud of him and so glad he got the recognition he wanted from his dad, I like how his character got through the four seasons, his journey was great, he’s one of the most level headed to me personally in the group, he has every right to be angry and tired.
- Alison oh my god she worked this season, she knows she messed up bad and isn’t acting like she didn’t do anything wrong, it’s nice to see that by the end of the day she proved that all she needed was her family, Clare was also adorable, Also her knew powers are cool as shit, this Alison is so much better than season 3 and I’m glad we’re over that version of her
- I can not stress this enough but I’ll never get enough of klaus! It was such a nice touch to make him a germ phobic person and being scared of dying because he couldn’t just come back, him too timid and unlike his…well himself! Also I’m tired of seeing his potential going to waste! He is powerful! Literally he speak and order the dead! What happened?! Like his power is so dope! On a side note I sorta felt sad when I realized he started drinking at a young age to cope with the voices and what he sees
- Ben…Jesus Christ I haven’t liked him since season 3 and I still don’t, I miss the Ben from the first two seasons I used to have a crush on him he was adorable, funny and slightly crazy, plus he was always with klaus they were a duo, this Ben from the sparrow academy was not it and what you mean all of this was his fault? 💀 like yeah you want to be a hero but look to what that lead
- Lila I think she’s cool…her and Diego are badasses, but girl! Tf wrong with you?! Fine do undercover work, you have a right to be your own person you’re not just a wife but god damn did you have to go and be with five! Other than that it was just a mess
- five was so out of character this season, what happened to the overworked, tempered person I loved?! What you mean you fell for Lila because you followed her stupid idea?! And guess what? You got nothing out of it! You got lost for seven years in there, gathered literally nothing and had an affair with your sister in law! they could’ve been creative and pull a human Delors from one of the other timelines and make him a love interest but nope! They had to make it messy and weird
- Diego oh my sweet Diego, his character is so…I don’t know but I never disliked him, he has mommy issues and he’s hella funny without realizing it, also poor him this season, although he’s definitely softened up, it’s adorable that he made himself a family even though it got taken away at the end 💀 also he’s justified for being angry at five, that one bullet scene was excellent though
- Luther, actually like took me tf out that he was working as a stripper omg lol! I almost forgot how slim the actual actor was, he was dumb and funny, and I genuinely wondered where his wife went, he was so ready to go find her at the end of last season 
Overall:
I didn’t hate the final ending, I mean it made sense for that every timeline they stepped in they destroyed, like I’ll miss them to bits, those dumb idiots and pretend season 4 never happened because I gained nothing but a WTF did I just watch moment, and I thought people were exaggerating but it was just not that good…I wished they gave Ben and Jennifer more time so their relationship isn’t solely based on what’s inside them and justice for my man Klaus he suffered so much throughout these seasons.
Anyways at the end of the day these are only opinions and if you like this season good for you babe, enjoy whatever makes you happy 🤍
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Here is an idea, stop forcing Hrithik's unhinged characters to be hinged😃
Aryan deserves to be fkn over the entire world. He can cause a lot of harm but instead he just steals shit that should be impossible. I mean I'm just saying he could have killed the queen in those first ten minutes. Or you know he can just troll the police instead. For eg he just breaks into a secure af place, like the treasury of some country, buries his symbol there and leaves without touching anything (ok maybe swipe something inconsequential as souvenir). Nobody knows why or how he did it but nothing is safe anymore and everyone is losing it.
Rajveer should definitely have been a thief not a secret agent and no he is not gonna tell anyone why he stole the Kohinoor, or why he drew attention to himself.
Kabir should continue on his very beautiful all of you could be traitors and i will find the most fucked up way to find out which one of you is actually that bitch. (Not you Aditi, you are an angel and we are glad to have you here). As a known "enemy" Of the state, he has a variety of ppl he can choose to backstab and honestly this shud be a weeding out the enemies amongst us thing for him. Let him kill a few politicians I say.
Vijay died an unhinged legend but honestly keep him alive and watch him go crazy as he loses his purpose, still is the king of the mumbai underworld but also has Mandva under him now. I wanna know how with a broken moral compass, he will choose to go forward when he really doesn't believe in laws.
I hate it when they try to make characters be reasonable like nooooo y'all go crazy, burn the world, be completely off your rocker.
Also I really want to know what Altaf from Mission Kashmir did after the end of the film cuz baby I get that you made the right choice blah blah blah, reunited with your adoptive father blah blah blah but they ain't gonna use all that to just pardon you sooooo what is your plan broski? Orrr rather Inayat tf are you gonna do, your son is pretty suicidal anyway, which again your fault, but you are gonna have to choose between country and the young boy you brought into your house, your family after wronging him. Are you gonna abandon him again or will you two be fleeing the country or what.
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OC GUIDE
Character sheets will be added later but here’s basic information on them
This post is already long as shit so BACKSTORIES FOR EACH UNDER THE CUT and side characters will be in a reblog later
Name: Amani Ayad
Gender: Female (She/Her)
Height: 5’ 8”
Birthday: July 23rd
Age: 18-22
Romantic/Sexual Orientation: Bisexual (weakness for women 😏👈🏽)
Country of Origin: Karnassos
Languages spoken: Fluent in whatever tf Vesuvians speak, Karnassi, and basic conversational skills in a handful of others
Hobbies: Partying HARD, growing plants, singing & playing Guitar/Fiddle
Magical Abilities:
Herbal Magic
Raw Magic (similar to Asra) (ill put a link that explains it in depth later)
FIREEEE
Personality:
Mischievous and mysterious. A liar. Definitely a flirt. Trust issues and a bit of a coward.
Name: Lucas Karimov
Gender: Male (He/Him)
Height: 7'
Birthday: July 10th
Age: 25-28
Romantic/Sexual Orientation: Demisexual
Country of Origin: Vesuvia
Languages spoken: Vesuvian
Hobbies: Cooking/Baking, Fighting, Gambling, Politics
Magical Abilities:
Learned how to channel whatever magic he produces into bouts of extreme strength
Personality:
Outgoing. Friendly! Altruistic and loyal to a fault. Has a fear of loss. Romantically dense (good luck flirting with him). Anger issues 😳. Holds a grudge. Not white.
Name: Kieran Power
Gender: Who cares (They/Them)
Height: 5’ 8”
Birthday: time is nothing
Age: Stopped keeping track (500~ years)
Romantic/Sexual Orientation: As long as you’re hot (Pansexual)
Country of Origin: A long abandoned village in the Southern Spines
Languages Spoken: Fluent in Most Languages
Hobbies: Throwing Parties, Reading, HOMOEROTIC SWORD FIGHTS, sleeping
Magical Abilities
Magic blocked by their deal
Personality:
Dramatic and they love it. Enjoys causing others pain. Depressed but wont admit it. Quick learner and a master of manipulation. Vengeful and will hold a grudge.
Name: Donovan Nwadike
Gender: Male (He/Him)
Height: 6’ 4”
Birthday: September 20th
Age: 33-36
Romantic/Sexual Orientation: Bisexual
Country of Origin: Nopal
Languages Spoken: Vesuvian, whatever you call the language of the Scourge
Hobbies: Sword Making, painting, sculpting
Magical Abilities:
Metal manipulation
Personality:
Quiet and reserved. Incredibly shy. Blames himself for most things that go wrong. Has the most braincells. REALLY STRONG PTSD. Self-sacrificing.
Amani Ayad
Family left Karnassos after Lucio’s murder of their mayor. Her family was labeled as cowards since.
Helped parents with a traveling doctor office. They went around the lands, healing people they come across and providing a meal. Her father helped her control her magic and mother taught her everything she needs to know about healing magic.
Helped a struggling town in the Shining Steppe. The people of that town later tried to raid their traveling doctors office. Someone shot a fire spell at the father that hit the shop instead. It exploded, killing the father and nearly killed Amani. Her mother grabbed her and escaped to a nearby abandoned shack to hide. The mother suspected they would come after the both of them and quickly gave Amani to a merchant ship. The merchant watched after her for a few months before selling her to a Pirate ship.
The crew was welcoming and caring at first, as time went on they demanded more of her (ex. cleaning the whole ship by herself instead of with the crew), and later forced her into being a fighter after discovering her magical Abilities and natural skills in fighting
Was undefeated in the ring. Gained the name “Hand of Death”
Made an attempt to kill the Captain. She failed, the Captain using a hot sword to scar her face before dumping her on the docks of Vesuvia. Was taken in by Lucas a few days later. A year later she made a home in a old abandoned apartment in the Flooded District where she grows herbs and heals anyone who catches her in her shop.
Now she tries to run from her past, replacing it with a new reputation. A party crasher, thief, general nuisance to law enforcement.
Lucas Karimov
Grandparents and Mother were refugees from the genocide of the Kokhuri. The mother fell in love and had 4 children.
They made a home in Vesuvia. Opening up a restaurant/bar called “The Iron Clad Owl”
Were generally poor (giving away free food/giving people money). Lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with Grandparents, 2 aunts, 6 children, parents, 2 dogs, and a parrot named stick
It was a crowded but homey house. They all slept in a giant cuddle pile. It was cute as SHIT
The siblings were all older than Lucas and liked the cause trouble to law enforcement, hang out with orphans and shop for food for da parents. The whole family hated Lucio and his rule from the rip. The aunts often participated in politics and 100% ranted to the children about government. Near the end of Lucio’s rule is when things went off the deep end.
During his rule: Oldest Brother falls into the Canal, dies of blood loss. The only sister was robbed (killed when she tried to fight back).
The plague: The Parents and brother die of the plague, the aunts flee out of fear of dying. Lucas takes up a job as a grave digger to keep the shop open shortly after. A brother gets involved in crime as a hitman. Jargal (brother) steals some food, gets caught and fights against the Scourge as a result.
After Lucio’s death: The brother is attacked by a revenge hitman, he is killed and the grandparents both die in the confrontation. Lucas sells the pets in a last ditch attempt to keep the shop open, the shop is closed. Lucas spirals into a depression, mentally stuck in a numbness that is only punctuated by bouts of anger and irritability. Finds a abandoned cat and adopts her. Befriends Amani.
Now he works as a dock worker, trying to heal old wounds and make lasting change in Vesuvia that finally serves the people.
Kieran Power
Works for a rich family. Is picked on and abused by their employers and other citizens in the village. The mayor’s daughter dies of “an illness” and they blame Kieran & their mother, saying they placed a hex on her.
Kieran’s mother is hung and Kieran escapes the same fate, running to hide in an old shed. A strong winter storm swoops in, trapping Kieran in there without food or warmth. Kieran discovers the body of the daughter with a knife in her heart. Kieran burns hot with rage and a need for revenge.
The Devil appears and offers to make a deal, to give Kieran the power to kill their enemies in exchange for a portion of their soul. Its a self enacted deal, sell a bit more if their soul for more power.
The technicalities of the deal: At least once a week Kieran needs to eat a person (collection of their soul). Without a meal their blood runs cold, the hunger grows, and when it hits a peak they become a beast. This can only be reversed with more than one human sacrifice.
They’ve been alive for centuries. They’ve seen and been subject to abuse that is only solved with more power. They only have a sliver of their soul left, instead choosing to gain power traditionally in the past few years. Gaining money and a powerful reputation. Has lost faith in humanity and believes they are better than them.
Hosts parties as an easy way to get a victim to eat. Really into sword collecting, befriending Donovan and has soft feelings for him.
Is always trying to gain power.
Donovan Nwadike (backstory in development)
Abandoned as a newborn in Vesuvia. Grew up as an orphan.
Thinks he is purposeless, joins a gang of orphans and becomes the punching bag/pushover of the group. Has a small book that he draws in.
Joins Lucio is his army (assuming Lucio has made attempts to expand the “Vesuvian Empire”) and befriends the lead medic.
Becomes a sword maker for Lucio’s army and eventually becomes a solider on the field. A sword to the eye takes his vision in one eye and a magical blast takes off his right arm.
He carries the weight of his actions, people he’s killed, people he couldn’t save on his shoulders. Tries to bring his friends back in a magical ritual, it fails. The ghosts of his friends haunt him, whispering and visible only to him.
Runs a blacksmith shop, his main customer is Kieran who enjoys his sword designs and paintings.
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tired
i’ve been plugging away on this 20-tape VHS order. [we digitize analog media at the camera store. people bring us their old tapes and movies and shit. mostly home movies, stuff people shot on camcorders etc. also film stuff. slides. whatnot. mostly i find the work rewarding, but it’s also often real boring.] Most of them are like, family shit.
this order, clearly these people had a camcorder that took full size VHS tapes. great! so there’s lots of Little Suzie’s First Steps kinda shit, which is great. Also lots of Lil Suzie’s First Concert, which is less great because I leave the sound on so I know when the tape ends, but like. whatever. i’ll live.
but also these tapes fit in the VCR, so a bunch of them... well, these people liked Law & Order.
One tape I left running for like 45 min and was finally like okay they don’t want this, this is just The Price Is Right and shit. I was about to turn it off when it fuzzed out and was--
Little Suzie’s Third Birthday.
oh my god someone taped over the first 45 minutes of Little Suzie’s Third Birthday.
So the next time it happened i let it go the whole time. Now this is labor-intensive shit, I have to let it run realtime the whole time so a two-hour tape really takes up two hours of the machine, but then I also have to run it through an editing process to strip out the dead space and recompress it to something your computer will want to play, and that usually takes another like 20 minutes or so.
I’m just now finally burning the DVD and I’ve just done the final editing pass and hit the button and I’m realizing... no, this one is ENTIRELY Law & Order and an epsiode of the West Wing. Fuck.
Well, I’m giving it to them, because I did all the work, because I fully expected at some point it was going to tick over and be Little Suzy’s First Horseback Riding Lesson or something, and if you want to bitch that you just paid twenty bucks for some old reruns, well, I just spent about three hours making those reruns into something you can watch on your computer, and I deserve to get paid for those three hours and it’s not my fault you taped over whatever touching family moment was supposed to be on there.
oh in other work news Plague Maiden never developed symptoms and all her tests came back negative and apparently there’d been four people in her house and one of the tested positive two days later but nobody else did so her ventilation system must either be boss or her sick friend wasn’t contagious yet. good for us, but i’m going to call her Plague Maiden forever. now maybe I can see my mother-not-law again and ask her how tf to make the really simple reliable sewing machine she gave me in working condition work, because I can’t get it to sew a single stitch and it’s driving me crazy.
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Twisted Fate/Graves thoughts 2 Electric Boogaloo because none of you can stop me
and I just have a lot of feelings okay
- t.f. taking an entire paragraph mid-fall during a harrowing life or death chase to give you the context for how much the imminent destruction of his boots is a tragedy is the funniest and most endearing character detail and also irrefutable proof that despite appearances he, too, really does only have that half a brain cell, it simply pingpongs around in there much more than graves’ half (which instead finds one idea and GOES HARD for it no matter what lol bless him)
also his pov is basically just a flippant ‘well this is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation’ until graves literally forces him to have an honest emotion at gunpoint, and y’know... that be what love feels like sometimes when you’re like that as a person, extremely relatable, I feel for him so much
- I’m still just quietly astounded by the hmmm... implied intimacy? I guess? in the argument they’re having once they’re actually talking in burning tides. let’s look at what they’re actually saying to each other:
T.F.: “Are you ever gonna learn? . . . Every time I try to help you, I-” and “ I tried to get us out. The rest of us saw the job was going south . . . But you wouldn’t back down. You never do.”
vs.
Graves: “You’ll run again. That’s all you’ve ever done.” and “You made out alright, though . . . You know why? It’s because you’re a coward. And nothing you’ll ever say can change that.”
like them’s the sort of fraught fighting words you have with a spouse right towards the end of an ugly divorce, the full fruitless ‘why do you always have to --’ and ‘but you never listen to me!!!’ deal, especially from graves’ side lol. it’s the sort of hurtful you can really only be with someone you’ve been very, very close to, someone you know incredibly well. considering the whole backstory what graves is essentially saying here is ‘It’s your own fault people have left you; you deserve to be alone’.
(interestingly, in twisted fate’s pov it seems that what’s really messing with him is the part of not being listened to. he tried to plead with his family and they refused to listen, he tried to convince graves to run away with the rest of them and he didn’t listen, and here they are again and graves isn’t listening a g a i n and at that point t.f. clearly just sort of. gives up on actually being heard, in a slightly heartbreaking way. and from how graves reacts to seeing that I really think he’s not naturally cruel like that at all, he’s just in too much pain to think until this startles him out of it and then he does actually listen)
- through both stories graves is so desperately, enduringly horny for t.f. to be emotionally present and engaged with him without slipping away into his ~*cool magic gambler*~ persona and I find it weirdly sweet
- graves immediately getting fond of this leaky battered old rowboat... hfsadkjfhasd he’s sort of adorable in a way? it’s also really cute how he’s got this really tight focus on tf and his mannerisms and how genuine he’s being at any given moment. it’s such a neat way to show what he’s feeling and thinking about, which must be hard with a character who’s so massively oblivious to the finer points of his own inner life lol
ALSO can we talk about how tf literally winks at him at one point, right after they’ve sort of had a little moment of regained trust... like my good sir that is so deeply unnecessarily saucy of you, please control yourself (though in his defense graves somehow still isn’t picking up what he’s putting down so y’know maybe subtle isn’t the way to go here anyway haha)
- I wonder if t.f. used to go by his initials even before he changed his name -- graves calls him by it straight off the bat in burning tides and t.f. seems to consider his real name mildly embarrassing lol. (also intriguing that he does appear to think of it as his ‘real name’, and not ‘old name’ or something like that. it’s why I feel like we’ve got more of a dual identity going on here than a deadname situation, it feels more like two distinct levels of emotional vulnerability/availability to me. and so ‘tobias’ stops being relevant when there’s no one left to know him as that. ow.)
- from reading his bio it seems like twisted fate has had to figure out a lot of the magic stuff on his own (except for the mention of his grandpa teaching him the fortune telling part of it -- seems like they had a bit of a special connection, really, if him leaving his old cards with the kid before they left is anything to go by). what I’m saying is that I would read thousands upon thousands of words of him experimenting with it when they were younger and graves hurriedly having to topple a table over and pull them both behind it for cover before they both explode lol
(and then t.f. popping his head up afterwards like ‘hAH see I TOLD you I could do it!’ and graves disconsolately lighting a cigar from the burning rubble b/c the things one does for love partnerships huh)
- I’ve been looking over burning tides with a writing eye a few times to figure out what makes it work so well for me, and one of the things I really like is that there are a lot of small comments/details that are there or are framed in a certain way specifically to emphasize the familiarity and history between the characters. Just small details like He moves fast for a big man. I’d forgotten that and graves mentioning he’s never liked standing too close when t.f. does the teleporting thing -- not to mention t.f.’s name reveal, which if I understand this correctly was actually new information to the readers when burning tides was going on. (and yes it is still very funny to me that his actual name is tobias. the duality of man)
(I also feel like there are HUGE differences in writing quality between the different POV sections -- I guess different people wrote for the different characters? Well, both of the first person sections are gold and that’s what matters to me in this story so I don’t really mind. Sadly the Miss Fortune parts read the weirdest and stiffest to me, which is unfortunate b/c I love her lore concept a lot and she’s so cool in double double-cross. WHO the fuck let an unironic ‘the crimson-haired siren’ slip through the edit, is what I really want to know. please, narrator, tell me about her cerulean orbs while you’re at it)
- The man I used to know seems lost under years of hatred.
I don’t try to say anything else. I can see it in his eyes, now. Something’s broken inside of him.
still makes me SO SAD and I’m incredibly happy it turns out not to be true in the end thank GOD
- this might just be me reading into stuff too much, but I really like this sense that in moments of high emotion/genuine vulnerability, graves tends to sound older and more tired while t.f. sounds younger than he actually is, more frightened and hurt
- if his mind hadn’t been completely focused on partner-rescuing and open murder were in any way his style, t.f. totally could have killed gangplank right there and then before miss fortune even got to blow the fucker up haha. then again if that were the sort of guy he were he’d be dead along with all the rest of them
- it’s so good that graves tries to save miss fortune’s guy before they leave the cave but also isn’t broken up about it when it turns out he can’t, that feels like such a correct encapsulation of his moral character haha
- I really do enjoy graves’ POV so much not just because there’s something immensely comforting about how he refuses to be scared even in the face of death because he’s too damn grouchy and won’t give the world the satisfaction, but also because the language/cadence is so satisfying. he does have a way with words, in a gruff non-flashy sort of way.
It smells like the end of everything – sulfur and ash and death; cooked hair and melting skin -- the rhythm of that is so gooood and that whole section conveys the horror and destruction but also the awe of the scene so well. (I’m telling you graves isn’t actually dumb at all, just astoundingly unbendingly single minded once he’s got an idea in his head lol)
- I keep thinking about the fact that the last two things twisted fate thinks about before he passes out from drowning is if graves is scared and ‘What would Malcolm do?’ and I’m feeling real 😭😭😭 about it
- I’m still so disproportionately intrigued by graves mentioning his mom in burning tides. considering how early and seemingly easily he left home (...not to mention that he brings her up in connection with someone punching him in the face) it might be a safe bet that they weren’t that close but like. she also seems to be one of the very very few non-revengy things he’s checked up on after getting out of prison. did he send money home sometimes? would he visit whenever they came back to bilgewater? did she ever meet t.f. and if so did she approve or was this a bit of a uncharmable mother in law from hell situation? I um. I want to know these things pls riot it’s for science
.
(First post is over here btw, if anyone’s interested!)
#tf x graves#twisted fate x graves#league of legends#meta#it's hard to overstate how much my brain cannot be controlled and WILL focus on dumb stuff all day every day lol
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Masterlist of AUs
okay i’m never putting anything under a read more ever again bc i deleted this whole ass thing and now i’m redoing it so forget me worrying about it being long af it’s what it is my friends
me, scrolling back through my blog: where tf are all my aus smh
(this is why i need them all in one place)
so without further ago, here we go (the title brings you to the tag on my blog, the numbers bring you the posts for that au):
short stay au - Five jumps forward into the apocalypse and gets stuck, but not for forty-five years. No, in fact, Five is only stuck for one year before he figures out how to get home. Which means the Hargreeves get a lap full of traumatized teenage boy with no idea who the Commission agents trying to kill them are (one)
dolores is the universe au - Dolores isn’t just a mannequin, she’s actually the concept of the universe. The only reason Five can hear her is because overuse of his powers has given him enough exposure to the rift between world that she can reach him. But how to explain this to the siblings who think he’s just traumatized? (one, two, three)
immortal au - The first time Five died, he didn’t know it. The second time was harder to explain. The third and the fourth... well. In the apocalypse, Five figures out that he can’t die, which would be fine except every time he dies he resets himself to thirteen. Puberty? Again? Everyone is more than a little concerned about Five’s lack of concern over his welfare, but hey he’ll start caring again when he’s got further to fall okay? (one)
imaginary friend au - When Five was little, he had an imaginary friend named Dolores. He had that imaginary friend for far longer than he should have, to the point where Reginald intervened. And so they all remember this when Five pops back up toting around a mannequin and calling her Dolores, the only difference is Five has stopped giving a single fuck what old Reggie had to say and he isn’t giving up his friend again so easily (one)
instant arrival au - When Five jumps forward, he doesn’t jump into the apocalypse. Instead, he jumps straight into his father’s funeral. He sort of treats it as a weird vacation until he finds out Ben is dead and tries to return, and finds out he can’t. Now his siblings have to deal with a thirteen-year-old brother who saves the day by just being himself (one, two, three)
barking mad au - Vanya’s apocalypse was more targeted and only killed the humans. Five jumps into the apocalypse and instead of being alone, he’s adopted by the feral packs and colonies that have cropped up. He learns to bark and purr and growl and hiss to communicate, finding friends and family where humanity is gone. Of course, this makes returning to said humanity more than a little bit tricky. It’s not his fault his siblings are dense and don’t understand body language, ugh. (one, two, three)
pushed au - Instead of forbidding time travel, Reginald encourages it. He pushes Five to try it, and so when Five vanishes it’s Reginald’s fault. Written off as no great loss, the siblings realize how disposable they are. Who of them will be the next Five? Trust broken, they don’t stick around to find out and run away. When Five returns, it’s to a very different family who has learned how to depend on one another and protect each other. Together, they figure out how to stop the apocalypse (one)
memory mishap au - The siblings take Five’s hands and jump back in time, and it works! They’re thirteen again! Except for the fact that Five had managed to forget everything that happened since the day he decided to jump forward in time the first time. It’s the others turn to protect him as they run away. Five tries to get his memories back, but is that really what’s best? (one, two)
ghost five au - Five doesn’t leave. He stays, and when that one fateful day happens where one of them is slated to die, Five decides to bite the bullet and take Ben’s place. Even knowing Klaus’s powers, he wasn’t really expecting to wake up as a ghost. He somehow unites the family through the power of being irritating and getting Klaus involved. (one)
broken five au - Reginald puts his foot down once and for all about time travel, by threatening Vanya’s life if Five puts another toe out of line. Five, fully believing his father capable of getting rid of the ‘useless’ child, shuts down. When his siblings find out what broke Five, they all decide to run away for their own safety as much as Vanya’s. They end up adopted by a woman happily living in the woods in her cabin who wasn’t expecting to adopt seven children but here she is and she certainly isn’t returning them to Reginald so. Seven kids it is. (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven)
run nanny run au - Look the nannies aren’t blind. They know Reginald doesn’t care about the kids and is looking at them like they’re weapons and not people, so it really shouldn’t be as surprising as it is that they decide to just take the kids and run one day. They are going to give these seven toddlers normal childhoods if it kills them, even if they have to dodge Reginald and the law as they do so. And no one forces Vanya to eat oatmeal like damn (one)
travel forward au - Instead of taking them back, Five miscalculates. It shouldn’t be unexpected, seeing as Five has never taken passengers before. But he manages to slingshot them directly into the future - into the apocalypse. The family gets a first hand look at how Five lived for forty years and gain a better understanding of their brother as he frantically works to get them all out again before they starve to death. (one, two)
daemon au - a crossover with the His Dark Materials universe by Philip Pullman, the Umbrella Academy live in a world where their souls walk beside them in the form of animals made of a material called dust. Of course, with these guys it can never be that simple. Ben’s daemon didn’t vanish upon his death and hangs out with Klaus, Luther and Diego’s daemons are always fighting, Allison’s is lazy and disagrees with her constantly, there’s something off about Vanya’s, and Five’s hasn’t settled yet. It’s certainly a bit of a mad house. (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, art)
plush companion au - Dolores wasn’t the only friend Five made in the apocalypse. A terrified and grieving child, he built himself a city out of statues and mannequins and stuffed animals. He built himself an entire world in his own imagination to keep himself from crumbling to insanity. Of course, his siblings have a few question after their brother turns back up and suddenly there’s toys turning up in the manor? (one)
atla au - a crossover with Avatar: The Last Airbender, aka all the kids are benders. In a universe where the Xth avatar is foretold to bring about the end of the world, Reginald manages to get his hands on seven children born whose mother’s hadn’t been pregnant when the day began. Apparently he’s training them to defeat this eventual evil avatar, but little do they know that said avatar is among them and tricked into believing she’s a nonbender (one, two)
suppression au - Reginald doesn’t just use his power suppression drugs on Vanya, he uses them as punishment on the others. They learn that their powers can be taken away on a whim and as punishment, and they’re forced to adapt. Five teaches Vanya the skills he learns to cope without powers, because without them they’re on the same level of competency. Vanya realizes just because she’s ordinary she isn’t useless. A more confident and competent Vanya results, and it changes the future for the better (one)
pianist five au - Vanya isn’t the only child who picks up an instrument. Five learns how to play the decorative piano in the mansion so that he can accompany Vanya’s practice. It becomes more than a hobby. In the end, when words can’t get through to the White Violin, it’s perhaps only music that can soothe the savage beast. (one)
artist klaus au - Klaus was a good artist as a child before Reginald deemed art as being ‘childish’ and forbid it. He forgets until he does some art therapy in rehab, and reignites his passion. He steals notebooks and art supplies and does drawings and caricatures for a quick buck on the streets. When the apocalypse is stopped, he also introduces art therapy to his siblings. It’s just soft tbh (one, two)
out of time au - Five doesn’t jump to eight days before the apocalypse, he jumps to the day of. He has to figure things out and figure them FAST. As such, he’s much more open to delegation and includes Vanya in this because lord knows he’s aware she’s more sensible than half his siblings. And if Vanya and Leonard argue when she wants to look after her brother that she only just got back well, if the apocalypse was prevented by this rift then it’s probably for the best (one)
how i met your mother au - The Hargreeves jump back in time, but way back to before they were even born. They find their birth mothers, and get to learn exactly who they were, and it’s a little alarming to find out that they’re all people. The kids built them up in their heads as the monsters who gave them up, but they’re just people with hopes and dreams and fears, capable of mistakes and who had to make a choice on the worst day of their lives. (one)
responsible luther au - Five only spends a year in the apocalypse before jumping back and is relieved to find he has four years to stop the apocalypse. Except, Reginald decides that Five isn’t getting out of his hands again and restrains him. The last child left in the house, Luther, has a choice to make. And he makes it. He chooses Five, and absconds with him from the house. Luther tries to help a deeply traumatized Five recover, while also dealing with his reunited family and Reginald teaming up with the Commission to kidnap Five back. To be honest he should have only expected a mess when all the Hargreeves come together (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve)
in the trenches au - Just because Vanya is ‘powerless’ doesn’t mean useless. After all, Klaus doesn’t exactly have a combat based power. So Vanya was included, she was part of the Umbrella Academy, she went on the missions and killed and got hurt and risked her life alongside everyone else. Which means that she isn’t dismissed, she isn’t excluded. She’s as much a part of this as they all are, and that changes everything (one)
post apocalypse au - Just things I think the Hagreeves should get up to in a world where they have to deal with the fact that the world isn’t going to end and they actually have to inhabit it. They decide to try and live instead of whatever they’ve been doing for twenty-nine years, figuring out what they like and don’t like as they go where they were never really allowed to before (one)
late addition au - on one fateful day, forty-three women gave birth despite not beginning the day pregnant. Forty-three women produced forty-four children, and that one extra wasn’t exactly supposed to be there. Indeed, unhappy with the apocalypse plans, the Universe slipped her own child next to another as an almost sleeper agent of sorts. Five grew up with his mother’s voice in his ear, the knowledge that he wasn’t like the others, and a mission to take out the true cause of the apocalypse: the Commission. (one, two)
double trouble au - They stop the apocalypse, but that’s not the end of it because a few days after it all ends Five shows up. Except Five is already there. This is a younger Five who time traveled, except there’s no apocalypse to meet him now. Baby Five manages to convince his elder counterpart to see how long it takes the rest of the siblings to cotton onto the fact that there are two of them, and it’s downright alarming how long it actually takes (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight)
pride and prejudice au - The Hargreeves have returned to Netherfield to figure out the estate after their father’s death. Airheaded Klaus falls head over heels for local soldier Dave Katz, much to the chagrin of over-protective and pig-headed brother Diego. Fortunately, Dave has the fearsome and wonderful Eudora Patch at his side as his best friend. And his little sister, Dolores, is best friends with Five Hargreeves? And for reasons unknown, the Handler is back and sniffing around. (one, two, three, four, five, six)
poster child au - Klaus is a little bit more accurate with that fire extinguisher and Five drops through into the courtyard with a bloody nose and the beginning of a frankly impressive black eye. It’s looking like the poster child for child abuse that Five goes to griddy’s, and Agnes isn’t leaving this abused child alone out front, right? So she witnesses everything and ends up taking Five under her wing and rolling with the whole ‘stop the apocalypse’ train. Along the way she adopts six more children adults, falls in love with an assassin, and saves the world (one)
mechanical boy au - Five and Grace have always been close, in their own way. Away from prying eyes, with careful sentences and unsaid words. Allies in survival against a man who doesn’t care if they live or die. An exploration of a Five who takes more of an interest in his mother, and more in subterfuge. (one, two, three)
ben saves the day au - Instead of Ben dying, it was Klaus. Without his two favorite brothers, Ben drifts away from the family. He leaves when he hits 18 and doesn’t look back. He builds himself a life, gets a job, learns to live. And then of course he’s tossed back into drama central when Reggie kicks the bucket. On the bright side, Ben got one of his favorite brothers back. On the other hand, it appears that Ben got the entire family’s brain cells in the divorce. (one, two, three)
robot five au - Five is just like any of the other Hargreeves, except of course for the fact that he shares more in common with their mother than the other squishier members of the family. It’s a difficult existence, trying to be yourself when even just having free will is too much to ask. But a little trip to the apocalypse and back and Five is done with all this human bullshit and would like very much for people to stop trying to kill his family, thank you. If the others can accept Grace as their mother then on god they will accept Five as their brother. (one, two)
the commission boy au - The Boy was the only success in a series of failures regarding experiments with Number Five’s DNA, or at least the samples left behind after his rather explosive exit. Growing up trained to be the perfect assassin, the Boy eventually discovers the Commission’s dirty laundry. Mainly, the existence of Five. Assuming that Five is another successful experiment and his ‘brother’, the Boy betrays the Commission and embarks on a journey to discover who his family are, and more importantly, who he is. (one, two, three, four, five, six)
hogwarts au - When Five is ten, a woman comes to the house and talks about magic. Reginald tosses her out, but Five follows her and tells her with wide innocent eyes that their father bought them and is planning to expose their ‘powers’ to the world. The magical community can’t have that, and all seven children are bundled up and placed at Hogwarts. They still have their powers, which don’t seem to be linked to their magic in any way, but they’re not about to tell any of the adults that. (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven)
changeling au - When 43 children were born around the world, they became a curiosity that got the attention of a powerful member of the fae, The Handler. Changelings are traditional, so she sent off a minion to swap one of the children with her own - except something goes wrong. The switch isn’t made. One woman assumes she had twins, and gives both of them to Reginald Hargreeves. Five grows up with rules. Lies burn like coal on his tongue, he is bound to his word, and he knows the true power of names. The Handler isn’t willing to let sleeping dogs lie. (one, two, three)
timeboy au - When Five is young, he finds a blue box in an alley that feels like home. He finds a friend, the TARDIS finds family. She finds him again, over and over through the years. Five grows up with the TARDIS’s voice humming in his head, blue glowing on his hands. He asks her to teach him to time travel, and she does. But when he jumps - time screams. It’s wrong. It’s time for a team up between Five and Team TARDIS to fix the timeline, prevent the apocalypse, and learn some important life lessons along the way. (one, two, ao3)
supernatural au - In another world, 43 children appeared out of thin air. In this world, Reginald is a collector. Of what, you might ask? Well just look in his library. Reginald Hargreeves is one of the world’s foremost expects on supernatural and mythical creatures. Why, just look at his children. (one)
pokemon au - Blessed by legendaries, the Umbrella Academy aren’t entirely human. They look human enough, but humans can’t learn pokemon moves. Humans don’t have a type. Reginald wriggles through a loophole, and gets custody of seven legendary children, though of course there are only six on a traditional team. Sorry Vanya. (one)
gym leader au - the Hargreeves are certainly a power family since they were trained from infancy to be the best trainers they can be. Of course, being gym leaders means they’re in the middle of all the weird and wacky shit that happens. Don’t mention the celebi incident that resulted in the dragon gym leader looking like a teenager, for the love of god. (one)
unviable au - Time travel doesn’t work. It needs a conduit. Taking all of time into something as fallible as a human heart... Five gets to the apocalypse, and he doesn’t immediately realize that he can’t touch things any more. He can’t interact with the world. He figures he got stuck in a pocket dimension of some sort, and eventually manages to travel back in time - except the only people who can see him are Klaus and Ben. They tell him that he’s dead, a ghost, but that’s not going to stop him from saving his family and, maybe, the world. (one, two, three)
prophet five au - Five’s time powers are a little different than canon. When he dreams, he sees the future. A possible future. He spends most of his childhood tweaking and prodding at the world to make sure his family is safe, terrified of being discovered. And then he starts dreaming of the apocalypse, of a life he hasn’t lived, and he decides to change the world. But he needs a little help. That’s where Vanya comes in. (one)
delayed au - when forty-three children were born, one mother looked Reginald Hargreeves in the eyes and said, no thank you. She would raise her child herself, thanks. Except her son turns five-years-old, and he’s not safe. He teleports, and he gets lost, and - she turns to the academy in desperation. Five knows about the outside world. Knows that he was loved. Reginald is full of shit, and Five tries his best to save the world. (one)
tog/tua crossover - Five dies in the apocalypse and starts dreaming of other people. Andy has been confused about the immortal child she’s dreamed about on and off for eons. Nile joins the team and with the power of google search, they set off to find the mystery child immortal. Five, on the other hand, would just like to stop the apocalypse and maybe take down the commission thank-you-very-much. (one, two, three)
rebel vanya au - Vanya’s meds suppressed her powers, but her emotions were fine. Vanya grew up loud, grew up sneaking out and acting out because the only attention she could wrench from Reginald was negative attention. With anger in her heart, a friendship with her favorite two brothers based on bashing their father, and girlfriend Helen Cho that was maybe an enemies to lovers orchestra au. When Five pops back up, Vanya isn’t going to let anything get in the way or her and her girlfriend’s concert, so obviously they have to stop the apocalypse. Right? (one)
the red book au - Five finds several things in the apocalypse. He finds an eye, he finds Vanya’s book, and he finds Reginald’s notebook. Five finds out about his sister’s powers when he’s just a teenager, and grows up knowing about them. This... changes some things, when he hops back in time to save everyone. (one, two)
five meets susan au - Susan Pevensie is an old woman now, but that’s okay, because Five is old as well where it matters. They’ve both lived through loss and love and heartache, both know what it’s like to be too old to be so young and too young to be so old. They both know what it’s like to be lost in a world so different from the one they knew before. They both know what it’s like to be left alone. But that’s okay, because Five needed someone who understands him and Susan is the closest thing he’s got. (one, two, three)
oneshots - Just little oneshots, usually within the scope of vague canon or post-stopping the apocalypse times where I write about just family bonding and conversation I would like to see happen in canon. Usually about the siblings bonding and occur on a whim. (one)
#masterlist#my aus#au masterlist#if there's any y'all want me to explore more#all u gotta do is ask#i also have a whole lot of au asks sitting in my inbox as well for me to eventually respond to#but i wanted to finish this up first#the umbrella academy#tua#tua aus#master list
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An Ode to 2020
Not really sure why I’m awake right now. If this was pre-marriage, I would have taken out my laptop to start typing, but it’s not and Bri is knocked tf out, so here we are. I guess this is the ode to 2020 post that I’ve been meaning to annotate for a while now.
This has been the most transformative year of my life. So many changes in more ways than one. Way more ways. Try like 20. A lot of crying (which I never do.... or maybe i just don’t admit to, lmao), a lot of introspection, a lot of uncomfortability (is that a word?), and a lot of change. A whole lot.
The year started off with optimism and ended with the same notion. Full of hope and wonder for the year set before me, I couldn’t wait for 2020 - it was supposed to be the year all my dreams came true.. and in a weird way, it was! It was the year I got married to the love of my life(!!!!!!), reached 5 years at my corporate job, relocated to a new home in a new city and area code. It was all that - but it wouldn’t be my life if it wasn’t that, plus a little pizzazz, lol.
It’s hard for me to give myself grace. Truly I think I am the hardest on myself. Always empathetic of others and their experiences, but always giving myself the short end of the stick. Living in a pandemic has been wild - but living through my huge life changes in the middle of a pandemic has proven to be even more wild. As a person who doesn’t necessarily love change, I’ve struggled to give myself grace in the midst of the huge life changes I’ve experienced. I’m damn proud of how far I’ve come and how strong I’ve been to withstand the trials that I battle without me really saying a word to a single soul. As a person, me typing this stuff out is me telling the world my story - even if no one reads it. This year changed my life.
Marriage.
I became a wife and entered the covenant of marriage. It really is true that you enter into a marital bliss that is full of love you don’t experience until you get married. It’s unlocking a next level of your relationship and discovering a new version of yourself ... yourself plus another human. There really are different levels of love that you are surprised to find out that you are capable of. It’s different than just being in a relationship with one another. Now we’re bound to each other under a different covenant - before the eyes of God, our family, our friends and the law. It’s weird filling out paperwork and realizing that legally I am no longer a Villaflor. Well technically I’ll always be a Villaflor (Melanie Rose Villaflor Argamaso to be exact, okurrrttttt). I stepped into this role of being a wife and all the “responsibilities” that came with it and also fully embraced the fact that I have a person to do life with who loves me more than himself, who is always thinking of me, always taking care of me, always looking out for me, and who genuinely takes responsibility for me. It’s weird. It’s things I knew of during our relationship, but in marriage it’s somehow personified.. magnified. Marriage is so cool. Maybe it’s cool for me because there’s been such an emphasis and importance placed on it ever since I was a little girl. Bri and I didn’t have the “modern relationship” where we lived together prior to marriage. Yea we slept over and had our own respective places, but to really enter into marriage where everyday it’s me and you, and we have a whole ass home and life together is really wild. I love it. Doing life with Bri is me truly seeing that this man really would give me the world if I asked for it. Anything I could ever want or need, he fulfills it. Everyone always asks me what I’ve learned about him since we got married, or what’s something new about Bri that I’ve discovered ... one thing is that this man and his hobbies are unmatched, bro loves him some cars, any moving vehicle really, lmao. But mostly, I see his heart. He always wants the best - for me and for himself and anyone he cares about, sometimes to a fault when he can’t attain perfection but so badly wants to achieve it. But most times he can .. and then some. I’ve never met someone so naturally good at so many things. Tactically advanced, street smart as hell, a risk taker with the ability to fix just about anything, a people person with an infectious personality who could probably resell a piece of lint if he had to. We’re a family now. A little family of two but we’re both at a place where we really wouldn’t mind unlocking another level of love if it were time to. (He asks me for a “grey” from @greyandmama on IG almost weekly 🥺🥴😂).
Wedding.
It seemed like I waited so, so long for our wedding - for it to come and go like the wind. But instead of a nice sea breeze, it came and went like a tropical storm (... literally 😂but more on that later!) I remember being so excited on New Years Day at the start of 2020 ... the anticipation of our wedding in the next five months and really the start of all of our wedding festivities would begin within the next month ... or so I thought.
I remember hearing about the coronavirus making landfall in the US around the holidays in 2019 and it was already steadily spreading across the US, but not quite as widespread as it currently is. I was going on a work trip to Florida towards the end of January and I remember wearing a mask in the airport and on the flight and I conducted my usual Lysol-ing of my entire space. Everyone was looking at me like I was insane but I really didn’t care, haha. A flight attendant asked me why I was wearing a mask and I replied that I just wanted to stay healthy for my family. (...Still true, lol.) I had no idea at this moment how significantly the coronavirus was going to disrupt our world, how normal mask wearing would be, and how disinfectant wipes would soon be the most prized commodity in 21st century homes.
February came like a rush - I started designing our wedding invitation suite which was something I had literally dreamed about. I had a vision from the very beginning and new exactly how I wanted everything to look down to the postage stamp. It reinforced a love for stationery design that I knew I had, but damn was I proud of the finished product. I was so meticulous about everything - from the fonts I used, the colors and hues of the paper, the thickness of the paper, the envelopes, the ink I used. It was so intricate, but it was the most fun I ever had while designing something. It didn’t feel like work at all, but it was pure love that I poured into those invitations. Bri’s bachelor party happened in early March and my bachelorette in Chicago (!!!) was supposed to happen at the end of March. The boys went to Jacksonville, Florida and were able to stay with Bri’s old roommate, Ace in his beautiful home. Coronavirus cases were on the upswing, especially in Florida and Atlanta. I was so freaked out. N95′s were no where to be found, but since Bri is a painter, he was able to score some through work. He wore one on the flight and literally got light headed due to lack of oxygen, lol. He had the time of his life in Florida while I poured my whole self into our invitations, lol. And as soon as the boys got back, the US started to shut down.
Everyone began to work from home and businesses started closing up shop. Star couldn’t make it to my bachelorette, so she schemed her way into getting me to pole dance with all the girls, hahaha. It was literally the night before everything was supposed to shut down. No indoor dining or bars were going to be open at midnight the following Monday, so I was super thankful that I was able to have a mini bachelorette experience in our own little backyard.
It was an anomaly to fly anywhere and airports became ghost towns. Each day we got a little closer to my bachelorette and myself and the girls were so excited. Itineraries were made, bickering ensued, flights were purchased, I bought outfits for every outing (... so much white, lol) Literally the only thing left for us to do was to actually fly to Chicago. Probably a week to a week and a half before we were supposed to fly out, Chicago issued a stay at home order and everything shut down. We had to make the difficult decision to cancel my bachelorette trip to Chicago and try to rebound and think of a plan B. The girls were so gracious. I’m so thankful for all the work they put in to try and make things work out for me. We tried to do a weekend trip to Ashville, NC but everything was so risky and there was so much unknown at this point. Covid mandates varied from state to state and things were quite literally changing by the day, the hour even. It just didn’t work out. Till this day I’m sad that I didn’t get to have the full bachelorette experience, but I’m still so, so thankfulI for my friends and the work that they put in to make everything feel as normal as possible.
Home.
Careers.
Relationships.
Ok I’ll reflect on these things later. I’m sleepy, lol.
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Ranma 2/4
Part Two: Chapter 13 - 25
Unless someone comes up with a better name I’m sticking with this one
HOW tf is the principal crazier than before?!
Yup, spreading out the Kuno-Principal thing
Is Sasuke seriously an anime-only?!?
Like I said Ryoga needs to chill a little first
Main reason I don’t like Ukyo That scene where she blatantly states she’s fine with turning Ranma into something he’s not rather than helping him
(Ignoring the near constant amount of undermining his abilities)
“I’m gonna cheer him up” as she holds a sword! Why?!
Ranma you dummy, hug Akane!
I hate this demon/ghost cat
Shampoo, you manipulative bitch
Akane learns to swim like a normal person
The lifeguard in me can’t do it
The principal is background shenanigans
Totally forgot about the kid who wants to play video games and is “weak” bc of it
Definitely need to find a different reason tho
Lazy little shits are a pain
Also his mom is crap
Akane… why you be dumb?
Weird Happosai is Santa plot…
What is with the Excalibur meets lucky 1000 meets fairy godmother?
Good news is, with what I’ve done to Kuno’s understanding of Ranma’s curse Ranma knows Kuno wouldn’t give him that wish and calls it quits sooner
Someone just needs to explain Ranma’s really confusing sense of morality to me
Cuz it’s either on 110% or it’s nonexistent, now normally nonexistent is for Kuno but still
Look Ranma’s got ego problems but he ain’t stupid
No betting the Tendo Dojo at five!
On what planet is that a legal document?!?
Some1 tell me why Shampoo using Ranma as a stop ramp bugs me so bad
That mo when you can’t remember if the Hot Spring Challenge is when Ukyo met Shampoo in the anime…
I don’t think so…
Akane you made me need to google a word
That like never happens Ranma you idiot
So close but so far
So much more logic, thanks
I mean more insanity, but it explains why Ranma swapped clothes
Finally! Ranma apologizes
Jesus Christ someone would think I won the goddamn lotto with how loud I cheered when this happened
600% approve of this over what happened in the anime
Oof poor Ranma
Hahahaha in your face Shampoo, but I also think I know why Ranma chose it
Poor Ryoga
I KNEW this guy was coming I still hate it
YEET you can’t PAY ME to do this arc
Look, is it the fact that I had etiquette and dance classes as a child and everyone assumed this is what it was like? Probably.
It wasn’t so I won’t.
Any1 else notice how Nabiki is one of the few ppl that uses she/her when Ranma is in his cursed form no matter what?
Why does this bug me?
Akane, stop beating Ranma up, honestly
This is closer to abuse rather than teasing
*sighs*
Gotta work that out of the narrative, intentional or not
Every1 sayin she’s violent isn’t helping
Like I said really fucking morally GREY Nabiki
How grey can you go before you get black?
Let’s find out together
Can everyone PLEASE stop treating Ranma like an object?!
I literally can’t tell if Nabiki is fucking Aro or not…
STRESS
Why is this so hard?!
I hate seeing Akane cry
I know she’s playing Ranma like a kazoo, but the point still stands
WHY ARE YOU TWO SO DUMB?!
Nope, nevermind it’s just Ranma that’s a fuckin idiot I blame Genma
No, I’m not kidding
*sighs* I don’t condone Nabiki doing this in any way just for the record THAT’S not an apology Ranma!
This mess is totally your fault Nabiki
STRESS
am I intentionally pointing out where this work of fiction is stressing me out since I’m now online schooling and suffering for it? Yes, fuck off.
Actually, don’t.
But Fuck Covid19
Aww his hat’s back!
Why do I love his hat so much?
No, seriously Akane’s so cute!
Oooww tree
y’know the sec she realized what Ranma was doing Nabiki should’ve TOLD him!
Congrats Ranma ya got the wrong sis- I mean the right- but wrong- dammit y’know what I mean
Some1 give me a logical explanation for why Ranma goes on a date with a panda doodle, PLEASE
I do appreciate the epic battle background fight for the anime
Further proof that Happosai sucks
Manga name’s somehow less believable I think it’s the use of “snowman” rather than “yeti”
Did Soun just find out that Pchan is Ryoga, and say nothing?
Ooo, Imma commit arson
Remember when I said obey Physics and Medical, I meant it
Arson is wrong and I know this but “transgender bitch” crosses the line
I will do it
Shampoo is a fucking yandere psycho
Just sayin “we’ll see who can get him first”
honestly, any other group and I’d be annoyed, but these four can’t work together for shit I
’m still pissed at Taro, but he can kill Happosai, please
I can’t tell if Shampoo, Mousse and Ryoga are being purposefully obtuse or not
I just reread their names I know the answer to at least two of them
Idk how I feel about Kuno-amnesia we’ll see
yep, Kuno gives me the creeps w or w/out his memories
kinda wish this was anime
jesus christ, poor Ranma
press f to pay respects for Ranma’s stomach
InstaRegret
Also Ukyo’s assumption that some1 can make Ranma doing anythin he doesn’t want to is crap
Like HELLO! Wake up moron!
Nabiki, I mean this in the nicest way possible, shut the fuck up
You’re making it worse
Also TALK to each other you ding dongs!
OH RIGHT! I almost forgot about the biggest fucking insult that Ukyo said of her own freewill!
It also proves that she doesn’t know Ranma as a person AT ALL!
It’s not a pick one or the other kind of thing
The fact that she thinks Ranma would accept that is insulting
The fact that she thinks that is insulting and makes me hate the patriarchy
Again, treating him like a prize than a person
*tries not scream, sighs*
Nabiki, you’re the cause of at least 30% of the stress I get from this
You having feelings ain’t the fucking problem here Ukyo, you not acknowledging Ranma’s is
I hate fake criers, anyone who does this I hate you
Always let others in on your plans, kids
When’s every1 gonna realize Ranma’s “wishy-washy” cuz no one’s ever committed to HIM before?
This episode confused me, I’m prepared to be MORE confused
Less confused, I’m surprised
Gonsunkugi, you creep
There is SO much wrong with this
*shudders*
WHAT?!
Y’know I didn’t think Gosunkugi could surprise me, I was wrong
Happosai still sucks unfortunately for all of us he’s now weird on top of it
I love how much Ranma needs to be kicked in the teeth to get any character development out of him
Ryoga is my #1 choice for it, always
Ranma… why are you like this?
Genma, emotional range of a goddamn wall
I am jealous of Ranma’s brain
I could be SO mean with the Shishihokodan
Also, are they implying that Ryoga has depression?
Gimme Ranma’s brain
I won’t ask for his confidence cuz that’s impossible but I want his brain
In Akane’s defense, given what she knows she couldn’t’ve known how badly that would affect Ryoga
I ain’t gonna say “leave Shampoo” cuz that’s cruel
I like the “turn into a Cat” rather than the “Can’t Cross” & the use of New Year’s rather than random but this still brings around the fact that she doesn’t LISTEN to him
Mousse you’re NOT helping in fact you’re actively making it worse did you miss when he said blatantly “I don’t wanna”
oh, sure, NOW you’re ok with it
ugh Mousse, you have a brain, I’ve SEEN you use it. Do so now.
This entire episode weirded me out
IDK if it’s the age-dff or the fact that he was makin it up and somehow everyone thought this was okay …
I won’t YEET it but MASSIVELY change
heheheh
Light bulb
NOPE I’m keeping this surprise to myself
it was a rather sweet end tho
Oh, this episode is a mess and a half, honestly
Also Nabiki, congrats you’ve literally enabled a stalker S
o many laws are broken here
okay, so Kodachi not being in on Ranma’s secret after so long makes sense purely because she doesn’t go to their school
however, with what i’ve done to make Kuno marginally less dumb it makes a little bit less sense…
I literally hate Kuno with what I’ve done to his logic of Ranma’s transformation, but that’s the point Kodachi… how do I handle you… oh, duh!
Ok, so Kodachi is now also terrible
I’m trying to figure out where this is in the plot since there is ZERO
Ok, there’s a LINE, Nabiki
This one would be touching, if it didn’t end the way it does
TALK gentlemen!
It won’t kill you
Fuck a parent that says they’re not your parent for no reason, EVER
I am going to make this hurt
Also gonna take out Genma’s fail at stealth
Remember I said Akane’s going to learn to cook
heheheh
sorry, I just love this idea
Oh this is SO against the rules it’s not even funny
tiny adjustment so they actually have quasi-competent referees
Crazy wants crazy?I won’t stop ‘em
I reiterate: CHEATING!
I am aware that the “ending” apparently sets them back to the start in terms of their relationship but I swear to God if they pretend shit like this didn’t happen I will scream
Someone ships something other than Akane x Ranma PLEASE explain why/how
don’t ship bash but I would insight when you explain
STICK TO CANON
please trust me, I’m a multi/poly/crack shipper
(for frame of reference to a bnha I ship DabiHawks)
I understand the appeal of Fanon
however, I would like to stick to Canon here
so no Fanon
Canon Only
Fully love that high kick
Genma shows Ranma’s secret here, but they already know… so… I shall find out
Ooo, you’re not getting out of this Ranma
Do you know how tempting it is for Akane to at least tell Ranma she’s a girl- oh wait gendered sports… right…
Ranma…
if you didn’t realize it was Akane when she hit you for calling her klutzy I can’t help you
I want to commit arson at some of the comments…
but can confirm that these are HS boys
Doesn’t mean I gotta like it
I was wondering how long I was going to have to wait before tearing into Nodoka
FINALLY
Took me WAY too long to remember that Nodoka calling Ranko tomboyish is due to how he speaks in Japanese
I’ll need to figure that out since… English
Can I explode on Genma’s choice to take Ranma at TWO?!
Can I further explode on both of them for making a TWO YEAR OLD “sign” a Seppuku Pledge?!
I hate both of them, honest
ALSO communication!
Genma! Just fucking TELL HIM!
Making her transphobic is SO tempting
I don’t mean in a “i hate you” way I mean in a “I sheltered my whole life” way
It’s still bad, and painful, but she can easily learn from that
Or be worse, this could go 2 ways
I feel so bad for Akane for this entire conversation
Also poor Ranma like ouch…
Awkward
I’m going to make this hurt something fierce
Slight change since I’m hoping Ranma isn’t as “peak fight or flight” by this point
Genma don’t be an asshole for FIVE MINUTES
Please, that’s all I want
If she doesn’t learn the truth before the end I will make a bad decision
Really, I will
Don’t kill Genma, you can’t
Akane, don’t say like you wouldn’t… honestly
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, honestly, just look the other way Ranma
*sigh*
Ranma…
See, this kind of crap here is why I really don’t like Cologne
any other day Akane’d be right
oof, that means he self aware that girls flock to him
I’m quite frustrated by that if I’m honest
Ranma is clueless about all the wrong things
I love him but God I wanna punch him sometimes
Why is there a swing from the ceiling?!
I had a jolt from the way they set that panel up, thanks
Are you trying to kill me?!
Thank you Cologne, now fuck off
Oh thank God, at least he learned
This is nonanime stuff so I have no clue what’s happening but anything to make Happosai miserable
I’m enjoying this immensely
ugh, “think of it as a compliment” ghost
Eat me
okay, yeah, as much as I want him dead, that’s worse
I’m glad he’s not a one-and-done character
I will forever ONLY call him Taro when it is NonDialogue
Wait Saffron as in big-bad Saffron?
I literally only know pieces of the end so I’m just pulling from what I know
Lol, wait… was that soldier Anime only too?
I almost liked you there for a sec Taro
Now I’m pissed again
bravo
Oh, YIKES
… if Ranma falls into the Spring of Drowned Twins would he split?
I’m not going to DO IT, obviously!
I’m just curious okay…
that answers that… and kills anyone other than Ranma’s plan to turn back to normal I hope everyone is aware of that
oof
Since when is there a castle on an island in Japan
tis just a scratch, I’ll admit that was funny
Ranma… your stomach gets you in so many problems
ok, that was wholesome
I approve
Okay, so my understanding is that Mrs. Tendo got sick, so I can understand the reactions to Kasumi
BUT I still find it odd because… well… anyone in my house gets sick and you mostly can’t even tell I mean, minus a worse attitude and a mask, other than that though, nope we keep ‘er movin’
I’m moving this section sooner EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!
I like her mom’s cookbook tho
I could make a Ranma x Ryoga joke here, but I won’t
I also won’t make a Ranma x Ryoga joke chapter cuz I’m nice like that
Actually I might have no choice
I’m FINE just dying
Help
my multishipper heart is dying here
I love this
InstaRegret for THREE people
If nothing else, I’m impressed
(well three once Ranma’s back to normal)
I need help
Fangirling/Fanboying/Fanpeopling is dangerous folks, remember that
Poor Ryoga
Though I too feel that right now like where do I look because everything coming in at mach 6
I’m changing that one scene tho cuz I can’t justify the aftermath without it
This… is… weird to say the least
I feel like I should just expect anything with Gosunkugi remotely involved to be weird at this point
okay, not as weird as I expected
glad it was short tho
I think I am officially out of anime terf
YAY, new content!
This is why I ask about any ship that isn’t Ranma x Akane
Also, names?
That- that- that can’t...
I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT!
EWWW
gross
WHY?!?!!
also, biology, that’s not how that works!!
You two ARE idiots
Ryoga you die I’ll kill you
Well… that hurt to see so quick…
Ranma, get up!
I officially hate this Herb guy
ok, so if you put HOT water in the ladle do you stay that way forever?
Alright! Way to go Ryoga!
I need to stop shipping Rivals it’s bad for my health
fucking eat it you dick!
Poor Akane
nevermind, Ranma you idiot
awwwww
ok, so that whole no more Anime-content… I was wrong, and I admit that, but still
I’m just thinking of my bff when they realize she’s an adult cuz, yeah, she’s like that too
except like physically an adult unlike tiny-Hinako
oh MY GOD Ukyo you’re driving me up the goddamn wall I swear!
THANK YOU AKANE!
“You’re all Ranma’s fiancées” when only one of them actually is
GIANT SIGH OF ANNOYANCE
Ranma, learn to communicate, PLEASE!
Okay… so is this where they figured it out or are some ppl still in the dark?
TIMELINE!!
Honestly, mood Ranma, mood
This entire plot line confuses me if I’m being totally honest
I mean I live for the Akane focus, but there are so many better ways to do this
#ranma ½#ranma 1/2#ranma saotome#ranma#akane tendo#nabiki tendo#kasumi tendo#soun tendo#genma saotome#nodoka saotome#tatewaki kuno#kodachi kuno#full series au#bc I know no restraint#I'm doing this to distract from stress shut up#don't judge me#COVID19 binge watch
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introducing…. DEVYN REYES.
name: devyn reyes
faceclaim: odette annable
age/pronouns: thirty-three (33) & she/her
occupation: part-time mechanic/part time receptionist/office clerk at her father’s mechanic shop
hometown/district: born & raised in houston, texas. she grew up in great heights with her parents and currently lives there in a house with her daughter.
HEADCANONS.
only child of her two loving parents, grew up in houston in a lovely house in great heights and for all intents and purposes had a very normal upbringing. even from a young age, devyn wanted to get out of houston and see the world and so, school was a big thing for her because her life goals were college & travel... until she met the man who would eventually become her husband.
devyn and myles met after devyn accidentally rear ended myles’s car and somehow in the midsts of an argument over who was at fault, devyn agreed to go on a date with him. from then on the two were inseparable and devyn was head over heels in love. the two of them planned to to gradaute and see the world together until they found out that devyn was pregnant. both of their parents were furious and it only got worse when they found out that on top of being pregnant, devyn and myles had also secretly gotten married. unfortunately, devyn wound up miscarrying the baby, but she & myles still decided to remain together and married and after graduation, peaced tf out of houston.
the two traveled together for years, all over the world and they were happy as clams to do so. eventually, devyn found out she was pregnant again and that’s when they decided to return home to houston and devyn’s parents helped them buy a house and nine months later, their daughter ryder was born. it was a huge change going from being able to drop whatever and go whenever they wanted to having a kid but myles and devyn somehow managed to make it all work.
while devyn stayed home with ryder, myles was out working. she started getting suspicious of what exactly myles was doing for work when he started bringing in lots and lots of cash but was always out very late and when he was home he wasn’t really all there. devyn eventually found out about her husband’s affiliation with the reapers and was initially incredibly pissed off but at the end of the day chose to support him and believe him when he said it would all be okay.
spoiler alert: it wasn’t. devyn always would wait up for myles to make sure he was home safe and one night he just didn’t come home. it’s been six months since myles disappeared and no one seems to have any leads and his body hasn’t been discovered, but devyn doesn’t have much hope left that he’s still alive. since myles’s disappearance, she’s started working at her father’s mechanic shop to get some sort of money flow, even though myles left behind more than enough to keep devyn and ryder comfortable. she’s sad af that her husband is gone and even though she’s pretty positive he’s dead, she hasn’t given up trying to find him.
WANTED RELATIONSHIPS.
brother/sister-in-law/husband’s best friend that’s like a brother/sister: This relationship has been the one thing keeping Devyn from imploding in on herself since Myles’s disappearance. Whether this person is involved with the Reapers or just someone who has always been apart of their lives, either one works. They’re relationship is as close to family as it gets, essentially.
devyn’s former best friend: Again, gender doesn’t matter. Outside of Myles, this was Devyn’s person, through thick and thin. Timeline, I imagine they’ve been friends since they were in diapers. The catalyst for what ended their friendship was when Devyn confessed to them what Myles had been doing with the Reapers. Now, there’s two ways this could go: 1, unknown to Devyn, her best friend was involved with the Lycans and was like ‘yikes, now this is a problem’ and basically just ended the friendship there or 2, they’re very, very much against the gangs and is genuinely upset that Devyn was supporting this.
babysitter/nanny/caretaker: Despite Myles leaving behind a substantial sum of money in their joint banking account, Devyn doesn’t have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mother anymore. This person can be a neighbor, someone who just works at the daycare Ryder goes to, etc. Whenever Devyn is in a pinch for childcare, this is the person who often times will step up and Devyn is endlessly appreciative.
THESE ARE JUST THE LIKE, MAINS ONES I HAD ON DEVYN’S INITIAL BIOGRAPHY. I’M MORE THAN HAPPY TO DISCUSS ANYTHING ELSE.
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Opinion post: best and worst LI’s from each series
I was pretty bored, decided I’d make a list of who I think are the best and worst LI’s in each series and why. If you’ve got some time to spare, please be sure to post your opinions too, I’m rather curious as to see how the fandom thinks.
Note: Since Nathan and Paolo are antagonists/pseudo-love interests, and you CANNOT end the game in a relationship with them, I’m not going to be counting them on this list.
The Freshman/Sophomore/Junior/Senior
Best: Honestly? All of the love interests were a little bland for my tastes in this series, but if I had to pick one, it would be Becca. She started out as a spoiled bully from a rich family and ended the series a humbler, kinder woman who learned to work for what she want, respect those around her, and she even got into the law school of her dreams. Now that’s dedication!
Worst: Without a doubt, I think Kaitlyn Liao is the worst love interest in this series. When the series started out, I actually thought she was great. I didn’t want to romance her (or anyone else but I had to *eyeroll*) but she was my best friend. But then I began to realize how detestable she was as a character. She turned on MC after she accidentally came out to her parents, she turned on EVERYONE when she joined the Gutter Kittens, and only when her circus tent came crashing down did this sad clown emerge and ask for help cleaning up the remnants of the big top. She’s immature, rude, she goes off on people for doing things she doesn’t want (Annisa talking to Natasha, MC writing an unbiased article about the Loose Pins and their strong performance, etc.), and worst of all, she’s a criminal.
A LEGIT criminal. Not on the level of the Alphas, but she’s committed her share of crimes, including underage drinking, breaking and entering on multiple accounts (when she broke into the observatory in TF book 4, investigating the studio’s security room in TJ, and breaking into the old dorm in The Senior), trespassing which basically goes hand-in-hand with the last crime, vandalism (when she broke a $500 bottle of whiskey in a bar in The Senior), and fleeing the scene of a crime (when she broke the whiskey). The other characters have also committed some of these crimes, but I’m mainly gunning for Kaitlyn because she’s a repeat-offender, not to mention she’s committed more crimes than any of the other love interests. Just...why did her character go totally south after book 3?!
The Crown & The Flame
Best: Raydan. He’s loyal, incredibly strategic and knowledgeable, can hold his own in a fight, and he’s charismatic as hell. Playing as Raydan was incredibly fun and I loved seeing what sorts of mischief he got up to on his adventures. Plus, his romance scenes were incredible. My favorites were the flower scene in book one and the tent scene in book two.
Worst: Shockingly, Dominic for several reasons. He’s Kenna’s best friend and he’s held that title since their childhood, but I can only see him as her best friend. The romance scenes between Dom and Kenna felt a little...I dunno, forced? There’s not really any other way to say it. I married Dom in one playthrough and I regretted it so much. When Kenna and Dom get married, they become the most boring heterosexual couple in the game...honestly! I also found Dominic just a very boring character in general, which is pretty shocking considering A. He’s a frickin’ fire mage and B. He’s in TC&TF, one of the best damn series in the game. Whenever I saw the words “You are now playing as Dominic Hunter”, I wanted nothing more than to see “You are now playing as Kenna Rys” because I was so bored with his character.
Most Wanted
Best: ...I honestly don’t know! It’s been so long that I don’t even remember any love interests in the game.
Worst: Same here!
Rules of Engagement
Best: It’s a tie between Dean and Mira. Dean was an incredibly down-to-earth character who started off as MC’s faithful companion and eventually fell in love with her. Friendly and never afraid to lend her an ear, Dean made sure MC was faring well during tough times and took her out on dates/hangouts whenever she needed a pick-me-up even though his job as a Bartender *probably* didn’t pay that well. During their marriage, Dean took on two roles, as not only did he agree to be her husband, he remained MC’s best friend as well.
Mira was also a really good love interest. Even though she was paywalled to hell, she was a genuinely sweet character. I got the wrong impression of her at first, thinking she was just a snooty chef brought to the kitchen to cause trouble for Party Girl Sister, but oh man. Mira was fantastic. When Party Girl Sister was in the middle of her pregnancy scare, Mira got involved and frequently checked in on her to make sure she was okay. She helped her unwind and relax when the stress got to her, offered her advice from when she was pregnant with her son, and was overall an unexpected friend that Party Girl Sister needed. When the time came to pick a love interest for PGS, I didn’t hesitate to pick Mira, who was truly her loving angel, and I don’t think I made the wrong choice in that at all.
Worst: I’m going to get plenty of hate from this I’m sure, but William and Leo. They’re both incredibly rich and famous men who don’t even seem realistic, yet they fall for a completely ordinary girl. William annoyed me on the first date when he saw my (non diamond!) outfit and had the audacity to say “Oh...” with a shocked look on his face. I mean...”oh”? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? But also, William was just kinda boring. It seemed like he was using his money to compensate for how boring his personality was.
Leo is quite the opposite of William personality-wise, but I can’t say I liked his whole bad boy/rebel/”let’s do illegal stuff because in the end it’s fun” shtick. Like William, Leo also seems largely unrealistic and rather unrelatable, which I think is a pretty big problem if you’re trying to resonate with the readers.
Endless Summer
Best: Jake and Quinn are a pretty tough choice, so I can’t say for sure which one I prefer. They’re both attractive and both are rather different personality-wise. Jake is brave, but at the start of the book he only really cares for himself. As the story goes on, he starts to care about the other characters as it becomes apparent they’re all stuck on the island. While Jake is a good guy, his nick-names got very, very old after three books. Additionally, he’s one of the overused cynical/loner/sarcastic male love interest archetypes, but I’ll give him a pass this time because he was the first of his kind, plus he had a pretty good reason to be as cynical as he was.
Quinn is super cute and is probably one of the sweetest LI’s in the game. She’s friendly and compassionate from the start, and knowing that she has an illness that will one day result in her death, she has become brave and willing to live her life to its fullest. Her romance scenes were also amazing. My personal favorite is the sex scene in the kitchen when she and MC make cupcakes together. However, one thing I fault the writers for with Quinn’s writing is that she’s frequently portrayed as the damsel in distress. You have to protect her from the Sabertooth, save her when she almost drowns, save her again when the Vaanti attack the hotel, save her AGAIN when she nearly dies from Rotterdam’s Syndrome, save her again when she and the group are held at gunpoint in the MASADA complex...the list goes ON!
Worst: Sean. Sean is an incredibly kindhearted character who cares about his friends to the point of not eating food until everyone else has eaten. He’s selfless, brave, and an overall friendly guy. However, that is his fault. I know it’s odd to be faulting such a great dude for being one of the sweetest guys in the game, but the only problem I have with him is that he’s a cookie-cutter clone of Chris, Caleb, Griffin, basically any strong, benevolent male character in the Choices series. For the most part, they’re largely identical in personality, and that takes away from their originality. I still love Sean. Saying he’s the worst just means I think he’s the worst of any of the amazing LI’s in ES, but he’s still a really great guy.
#LoveHacks
Best: I really can’t pick any of them.
Worst: I’d honestly have to say all of them. They’re either A. Wishy-washy B. Boring C. Introduced way too late in the game and their development is either non-existent or way too rushed. Hell, I forgot Mark Collins even existed until I stumbled across his page on the wikia.
The Haunting of Braidwood Manor
Best: Eleanor by default. She’s paywalled and you have to pay diamonds to keep her alive at the end, but she’s pretty, she’s sweet, she cares for her younger siblings enough to live(?) with a dark secret that’s left her traumatized, and we get to spend lots of time with her in the book.
Worst: Victor. We barely even get to know this guy! There’s almost nothing about him on the wikia pages either simply because he’s almost never in the story without diamonds and we barely even got to know him.
The Royal Romance
Best: Even though I didn’t marry her at the end (I still had some flings with her though), Hana. Hana is incredibly sweet, she’s really pretty, and she’s got overbearing parents which, in my case, makes her a really relatable character. She does anything she can to please her parents/friends and she quickly becomes a very loyal friend (or lover) to MC as she finds her way as the newest noble in Cordonia.
Worst: Drake. Oh, Drake, have I got a bone to pick with you. Not only is he one of the many, MANY cynical/loner/sarcastic male LI archetypes, the story could have gone on without him, rendering him pretty useless. I cannot think of a single non-romance scene where I thought: “Oh man, Drake is a really necessary character!” Not to mention, Drake is picky as hell. He gets to live in the palace for free, gets to eat food and hang out with Liam, but he whines about not wanting to become like those gosh darn nobles, and he whines about the food being “too fancy” or whatever when there are people starving in other parts of the world. I would understand you not eating food if you’re allergic or can’t stomach it, but really, Drake? Because it’s too fancy?! Come on!
Hero
Best: I have to say, none of these love interests were up to par. The book is great, the LI’s are lacking.
Worst: All of them. They’re not too bad per se, but man...they’re just so lackluster! Grayson is boring, Kenji is cocky, and Eva got on my nerves a lot.
High School Story
Best: Emma without a doubt. She’s pretty, she’s very sweet to her friends and MC, and she’s a shy character who’s surprisingly well-written. Though I didn’t choose to romance her, I still think she’s definitely the best love interest in this series because not only is she an amazing friend, but in other playthroughs I’ve watched, she’s a very loving girlfriend to the main character.
Worst: Probably a tie between Caleb and Maria. Caleb, like I mentioned earlier, is pretty much the same as Chris, Sean, and Griffin, which makes him rather dull. Maria isn’t too bad, but she could get very intense at times, and that gave me a really negative first impression of her that never truly went away.
It Lives in the Woods
Best: Andy. Frickin’. Kang. He’s strong, rough and tumble, and really brave, but he’s also soft and gentle with the MC if they romance him. He’s the first trans representation in Choices, and I personally think Pixelberry did a really good job with him. I really felt for him when he and Tom were being discriminated against on the basketball team because they were both Asian, and because Andy was also short and transgender. Yet, even after all this, Andy doesn’t quit the team and doesn’t give up his dreams, and if he survives the final game with Mr. Red/Jane, he becomes the basketball captain and eventually goes on to play for a college team. Way to go, King Kang!
Worst: I don’t think I can really say any of them are the worst because all four of the other love interests in this series are pretty great.
Home for the Holidays
Best: None of them. NONE.
Worst: ALL OF THEM! This book was abysmal, and one reason it was so hated is because the love interests were awful. Nick was unnecessarily cruel, Wyatt was so happy it was creepy, and Holly was really boring.
Red Carpet Diaries
Best: Oh dear. Same case as HFTH, none of them.
Worst: I can’t choose just one, so...I guess all of them. Matt was forced upon the player, Victoria is one of those mean girls/divas that has a complete 180 in her personality at some point, Teja and Seth were absolute morons for the entirety of book two, and Addison and Hunt were purely a fanservice for people who played Hollywood U (which is a good game, but if you ask me, Addi and Hunt should’ve never become LI’s for this series).
Perfect Match
Best: I really don’t even know with this one, you guys. I was never a fan of this series (oof, I can feel the hate I’m getting from that sentence right now) and the LI’s all seemed really unimpressive.
Worst: Hayden. While I really dislike Damien and think he’s undoubtedly the most overrated love interest in the entire game, I’ve got to say Hayden is the worst. You get to customize their gender, appearance, and eventually their name, and while they’re a robot with sentience and human feelings, this just makes them seem LESS human. Not to mention, they stupidly left the group on multiple occasions and went on walks alone to brood and be edgy, which eventually led to Harley infiltrating and causing our already feeble plans to fail yet again. Lastly...Hayden is one of the love interests that repeatedly gets crammed down the player’s throat whether they like it or not.
Bloodbound
Best: Jax is a great love interest, but since he’s one of those overused cynical/loner/sarcastic archetypes, I’m going to have to say Lily is the best in this series. She’s tragically underrated, quirky, goofy, and she’s a GAMER with GLASSES, which is totally my weak spot. Lily is just the cutest thing, I swear. And since I love Jax and Lily almost equally, I went NUTS when I was offered a diamond threesome scene with them. That day was a huge win.
Worst: Even though he’s not too bad as a character, Adrian. You don’t get to customize his name or gender, but you still get to customize his appearance, which I really don’t like in love interests because it makes them seem like interchangeable parts.
Veil of Secrets
Best: Kate. She’s paywalled unfortunately, and she only becomes a love interest at the very end of the book, but she’s very beautiful and sweet. You have to spend the entire story saving her, but fortunately, she isn’t forced upon you romantically like some of the other love interests are in the game. It’s really unfortunate that she became a love interest so late in the game.
Worst: Probably Naomi, only because she was boring. Otherwise, she’s not too bad.
America’s Most Eligible
Best: None of them.
Worst: All of them because they’re really bland compared to some of the other love interests Pixelberry has given us.
Desire & Decorum
Best: Hamid. He’s sweet, gentle, he’s good with kids, and he’s really attractive as well. Overall, though, I think all the love interests in this series are pretty boring, but Hamid is slightly less boring than the others.
Worst: Sinclaire. I originally hated his guts, but he’s not that bad to be honest. He’s one of the cynical/loner/sarcastic male archetypes, and while not as extreme as some of the others, he’s still a part of the archetype. He’s grown on me, I will admit, but only as a friend, nothing more.
Across the Void
Best: None of them.
Worst: All of them. The whole book is a mess, and that trickles down to the love interests. Minimal character development, forgettable love interests (I forgot Meridian and Titania even existed at some points in the book), Kepler freaks me out, Sol was a dick at certain points, Zekei is more of Eos’s love interest than MC’s, it’s a whole thing. The siblings’ love interests aren’t any better. Eos has Lyra who isn’t too bad, but damn is she boring. He also has Deimos and Oberon who came in out of literal nowhere, same thing with Pax’s love interest, Zaniah, and she turns out to be a freaking villain that you have to pay diamonds to redeem. Lastly, we have Holmes...who’s really annoying to me. Sigh.
Big Sky Country
NOTE: I feel the need to tell you beforehand that I wanted to remain single for this series, but they force you into kissing someone in the last chapter whether you like it or not, so I picked the lesser of the evils.
Best: Juliette Mendoza, and I’m ONLY picking her because she’s absolutely beautiful.
Worst: Sawyer and Dallas. Sawyer because he’s forced, Dallas because he’s yet another one of the cynical/loner/sarcastic male archetypes. Urgh.
The Elementalists
Best: I don’t care for any of them.
Worst: Beckett, but before you murder me, it’s only because A. He redeemed himself in like one chapter which is incredibly lazy writing on Pixelberry’s part, and B. He and Griffin (who I rather like, actually) get lots of diamond scenes while love interests like Aster are getting sidelined.
High School Story: Class Act
Best: Skye, but I wouldn’t romance her simply because she’s more of a friend than anything. She’s incredibly sweet and she’s the polar opposite of her shitty family, and having a storyline about Skye and the abuse she gets from her family would actually be really interesting. I’d love to see her family get their comeuppance and Skye end up living a better life, because that’s what she deserves.
Worst: I legitimately could not choose who I hate more. Rory and Ajay are both on my shit list. Rory is one of the most forced love interests in the entire frickin’ game, and is a complete Mary Sue. I’m not just saying that either. Rory is attractive, talented, popular, and lots of people have crushes on them (Erin says in one of the first chapters of HSSCA book one that their last play got a good turnout because 1/3 of the audience had crushes on Rory), and is *supposedly* completely oblivious to how many people like them, which would be kiiiiinda hard to miss, especially with Natalie and Clint.
But otherwise, Rory has almost zero personality. They’re friendly, but most love interests have that trait. They also have a mother with cancer and participates in a play to fund treatment for her, but that’s about as complex as Rory gets. The worst part about them is that they’re constantly getting shoved down our throats. The game and characters constantly imply MC has a crush on Rory whether we like it or not, and MC ceases to function during rehearsal when they realize Rory is going to ask them to homecoming. For Pete’s sake, we join the damn play just to get closer to Rory. And for people who don’t give a fuck about Rory, like me, that makes the book remarkably frustrating.
And we also have Ajay, who I hate about as much as Rory. From the start, he was rude, condescending, and snarky. But then when Rory tells everyone their mother has cancer, Ajay says “yeah man, I’ve been super harsh because I want this to go perfect, blah blah” which, to me, is a TOTAL cop out. Even if the play didn’t go perfect, the audience would have already paid for their admission and donated beforehand. I didn’t excuse Ajay’s dickish behavior throughout the book, especially when he never apologized for siding against MC after the whole theater cube fiasco, even when there was zero concrete evidence against them. Annoying, rude, never apologized for making an accusation that turned out to be untrue, and...god, every time he speaks, my mind reads his words in Brainy Smurf’s annoying, nasally voice.
It Lives Beneath
Best: Tom. What can I say except Tomoichi “Tom” Sato? Ever since ILITW, he's been a good friend to Andy since they were toddlers, helped him throughout life with his friendship, prevented Andy from committing suicide at one point, and was friendly throughout the first book. In this series, he's a love interest, and is one of the few love interests who isn't drawn with a super-duper fit body (thus making him a little more realistic). And his sex scenes are wild, dude. I mean, in a PHOTO BOOTH at a festival full of people?!
He's loyal, goofy, and he's realistic because he's awkward and flustered if MC flirts with him. Be honest, if an attractive stranger starting forwardly flirting with you within not even a day of meeting you, wouldn't you be pretty awkward and stuttery? Also, Tom is cute, he appears to have a friendly/romantic chemistry with MC, and all the scenes with him and MC are well-written and pleasant to read.
Worst: Out of fear of being personally attacked again (I even got one or two death threats), I will not be going too in-depth about why Imogen is the worst love interest of this series. All I’ll say is that, for the majority of the book, she was an extreme weak link and I feel like she redeemed herself too late.
A Courtesan of Rome
Best: Syphax. He’s really gorgeous, and he takes the fall for MC when she sloppily murders a Roman authority. That’s some serious selflessness, and I really admire Syphax for that, but he is a bit forced on the player in the first part of the book.
Worst: Marc Antony. He really gives me the creeps.
The Heist: Monaco
Best: Eris. She’s sassy, spunky, but she’s got a soft spot for MC and is actually really sweet. She’s absolutely beautiful and I didn’t have a hard time choosing her as my love interest. Though...if Sonia turns out to be a love interest, I might have a problem later.
Worst: Probably Fabien because, yet again (I’m sorry, okay!), he’s a cynical/loner/sarcastic male love interest archetype. But he’s really not a bad dude, I like him. He’s just the worst out of this bunch.
Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance
Best: One word: none.
Worst: All of them! They’re all criminals, and they’re not noble criminals who screw over corrupt people like MC and their crew in TH:M, they’re legit criminals who endanger other people’s lives for fun.
So, what do you guys think? Who are your best/worst LI’s for each series? Don’t hesitate to reblog and ring in with your opinions, because like I said before, I’m really curious to see how the rest of the fandom thinks.
#choices stories you play#choices stories we play#playchoices#pixelberry studios#pixelberry#choices fandom#playchoices fandom#love interests#love interest#li's#the freshman#the crown & the flame#most wanted#rules of engagement#endless summer#lovehacks#the haunting of braidwood manor#the royal romance#hero#high school story#it lives in the woods#home for the holidays#red carpet diaries#perfect match#bloodbound#veil of secrets#America's most eligible season 10#desire & decorum#across the void#big sky country
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3x16 Reaction / Commentary
Alec “Proud Puppy” Lightwood
THAT FACE HAHA. Also crêpes man I'm jealous.
Rude man, don't rip him away from his hard earned waffles.
This is so hilarious to me, okay, this prompting hand flick Alec does (which you can't see here because I can't gif, only screenshot ahahaha) man I love it. Sadly I didn't find a gif of this yet, so I can't put one :( I can't even put into words why it's so hilarious to me. And Magnus's sceptical gaze hahaha.
Edit: I FOUND ONE
HAHAHA HELL YEAH
I mean we all knew this was fake, not least because it implies Magnus is wearing the same outfit two days in a row and obviously this would NEVER happen, but also because in no universe does Alec have smooth dance moves. It's a law of nature.
lol is this an innuendo or something because I don't get it, pls help
Tiny waist touch is spotted and highly appreciated.
That scene transition was brilliant and there is nothing else to say about it. I lost count of how many times I've rewatched it because it's awesome. The way Alec's voice sounds slighty off, the way Magnus gets heavier in his arms, the way everything spins out of focus, and Alec's last “Stay with me” sounds almost hard with urgency.
When I first saw this I was legit yelling at the screen why the hell Alec is just shaking him instead of, idk, doing CPR but I did him a grave injustice there because he actually does and I really appreciate that. (Though, if he learned first aid I wonder all the more about 3x12 (or was it 3x13, I lost count lol) where he just lets Sentry Guy die without even trying to save him.)
That being said, I'm really happy we got to see the immediate aftershocks of it because I was half afraid this episode would just start with Magnus in the infirmary bed. Still, I have a question. Who called Catarina? Izzy? Because why is she then so shocked when she learns Magnus is not breathing? When she presumably first entered the room to receive the instruction to call Catarina, did she not... wonder why Alec was cpr-ing him? Or did Magnus not immediately stop breathing after collapsing but just, faded slowly while Alec had already told Izzy to call Catarina? I kinda wanna know the mechanics here.
I mean, no surprise there if you keep killing them?? Ahahaha.
My fangirl brain: What, General Amaya from the Dragon Prince is gonna appear? Sign me the hell up!!!! My rest-brain catching up: No this is not a crossover and no, r is not y and just, no. My fangirl brain: :<
........ignoring the fact that summoning her is super stupid, there's also the tiny detail that they don't have leverage why would she help them are they just gonna say “pretty please”?? I can't believe them.
lol Bohemian if you see this, this panel is only for you to haunt your dreams XD hehehe sorry sorry but I just couldn't resist XD
Wtf I can't believe those words just came out of his mouth. Jace, you're gonna start with a pep talk? You were possessed and forced to do things against your will, you should know better than this. Honestly.
The way his voice goes up, just kill me now.
THIS DETAIL OH MY GOD
I absolutely loved this scene, in terms of acting it was perfect and it was painfully in character for Alec to blame himself for everything that's not going alright with someone he loves. The problem I have however (because come on, there's always a problem with me) is that they genuinely want to tell me that Alec didn't realize Magnus was faking it? Magnus loses his magic and he “doesn't think twice”? I mean, that's either really really insensitive or really really stupid. And Alec might be insensitive sometimes, but not like that and he surely isn't that stupid. So, uh, I don't really like that bit. Again, if he was secretly happy that Magnus's immortality is gone that's one more thing to feel intensely shitty about, I get that, but being secretly glad how things turned out and not realizing the other person is suffering from how things turned out are two entirely different things. And just, tf Alec. He can't possibly be that dense, can he, that he genuinely thought Magnus was okay with this. Even if he thought this was something Magnus could get used to in the long run, he didn't expect him to need some kind of settling-in period? Really??
HELL YEAH I STAN CAT SO HARD IN THIS SCENE. And I'm so glad she's the voice of reason in this.... after deigning to appear at long effing last ahahaha sorry not sorry for that dig XD Look it's not her fault, it's the screen writers'.
I got a soft spot for Simon calling her Fray. Also, high-key loving how they're all sitting there waiting for news and finally acknowledging that something's up with Magnus.
LOL CLARY TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. Kidding. It was the Evil Rune at work again, even though she's nowhere near fire. Maybe it was the hypnotic neon lights? In any case, this is becoming a real problem lol. (No, tbh I found that outbreak totally hilarious XD)
.............................*sigh* I mean, your fierce determination doesn't change the fact that this plan is doomed to fail and you still don't have any leverage over Lilith, but sure. Go off.
YEAH BECAUSE AS SHE PROVED SHE HAS COMMON SENSE. Though I really hope she also told Alec about this dumb-ass request by his dumb-ass parabatai so he can intervene. But, tbh I don't really expect that to happen. *sigh*
Kill herself and then revive herself, hoping a short moment of death is enough to severe the connection? Or maybe, uh, try to use her rune power to cancel her Evil Rune instead of summoning Lilith??? Just for starters.
WTF I CAN'T BELIEVE I'D SEE THE DAY WHERE J A C E IS THE VOICE OF REASON WTF COLOR ME IMPRESSED I LOVE IT
“See, I infused it with a strong dose of Plot Convenience, so that shouldn't be an issue.”
THE PORTRAIT IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHAHAHA
“Why? Why do you hate him so much?” “It's simple. All my life I've had to sit by and watch...”
Thanks for 100% confirming my headcanon, I do love that :)
BAM!!!
I really like the detail that he's so out of breath from the magic, it shows that it was probably more harmful that just a shove back? Oh the questions I want to ask.....
Bitch you're 484 don't round down so much hahaha
Is Lorenzo actually gonna be swayed by this????????????????????? uh
Edit: Ahahaha we later learn he actually is and obviously I had to write a ficlet about it, so uuuuh whatever I'll put it at the end with all my other shameless self promo I'll include in this thing XD
OH YEAH I remember the “Different outfits for different occasions” comment from 2x19 I wonder what she'll wear? The same, or even older??? Btw why does she share a smile with Meliorn as if this is a private joke? Because, like, it isn't.
I mean that's touching and all, but that doesn't change the fact that Lilith loves you and seeing you dead would absolutely tear her apart, thus making this a fitting revenge. Wtf Jonathan this is no sound counterargument.
Hm. Tbh I liked her youngest self best? But she's still cast very well. And I recognize that her talking face to face with Jonathan would have been a little ridic if she only reached his navel XD
Ugh, Bohemian, can you see me rolling my eyes?
lol at least this was funny
OMG Luke could you be any more dramatic, are you actually kidding me. I'm gonna be sick soon if you don't cut the bs.
Wow the first sign of Sizzy that didn't suck, yay! XD this was actually pretty sweet.
Oh you mean that time that Raphael was feeding on her and they were indulging in mutual addiction? Because as soon as Izzy was clean she steered clear of Raphael.
..............................................what happened to “scumbag ex”? Why am I even asking?
?? Yeah? What happened to “While Saia lasted it was the best thing ever?” Then again that was what, three episodes ago? Can't hold him accountable for something that happened so long ago, right.
Hahaha okay that was cute.
1) LOL how hilarious would it be if they summon Lilith and just get her corpse plus Jonathan holding the sword still sticking out of her chest. 2) Jonathan is a true sadist, making her wear those heels. 3) Who's that wheelchair for? I mean, Lilith designed this apartment for her disciples, right?
.................which she doesn't need, since she's no warlock and her powers come from her angel blood, not ley lines. So, points for trying, show, but please don't mix up your races. Makes you look so unprofessional. (Except if this is a hint that shadowhunters also run on ley line energy, have ley line magic flowing through them etc. but honestly I'm not even entertaining the thought because then I'd have a conniption.)
Wtf it's literally standing twenty seconds of intense mindnumbing pain, why the hell would you need a coach for that? Just hold it together and endure it. Also, if they attempt it, 20 bucks say he'll die for some dramatic Sizzy “Oh shit you could really have died, too” moment.
Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- sarcasm.
Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- no sarcasm.
Honestly, Magnus's touch is natural and familiar (btw love the uncoordinated grabbing) while Alec turns Magnus's chin as if he's trying to make as little physical contact as humanly possible. Is a hand on his cheek really too much to ask for? *sigh*
lol you'd think he'd start with that immediately after Magnus wakes up instead of taking risks (it's what I would have done) but whatever.
He's.... actually there to help? For free? Or is Alec gonna have to hand over the Institute's keys to him when the job is done? Lol. (Also that suit jacket could be straight out of Magnus's closet.)
Oh my God Alec just say he could die. Why sugarcoat it? Say it how it is, and Magnus might listen to you.
.........yeah. This is so relatable and I love how he delivers this line. The desperation is clear, but he's also determined about it. Also, quick question, why didn't Alec get Catarina to be there when Magnus wakes up instead of Lorenzo? I'm not saying it would have changed the outcome but it might just have made Magnus feel less shitty about being exposed to his nemesis in this weak state. Then again I get it, Alec is running on panic and instinct, so consideration is the last thing on his mind.
This scene was amazing. Or, lol, this part of the scene. Magnus's performance is stellar and FYI the next thing he says, the “Look at me! Can you honestly say you like this?” was improvised and that's just ugh so good. Coincidentally this is also where my issues with this scene begin. They're not about how the characters act, I found that part very very fitting; it's meta.
The issue Magnus is having isn't about some fear that Alec won't love him anymore now that he doesn't have his magic anymore. Magnus is projecting. His issue lies within himself. He feels differently about himself, he can't say he likes this, and it's only in conclusion that he assumes it must be the same for Alec. But Alec isn't the root of this issue. But of course it's easier to pretend it's about Alec than to openly admit his severe self-image issues, so that's what Magnus does. Perfectly ic to me. The problem I have here is that if we take what Magnus says at face value it appears that Magnus only wants his magic back so Alec will keep loving him (sidenote: even more if you cross out Harry's addition and just focus on the “You fell in love with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Can you honestly say you don't feel differently about me?”) and the solution to that is clear: Alec drops some wedding vows, problem solved.
But that's not the problem here. Magnus would literally rather be dead than without his magic and no amount of Alec waxing poetry about him is going to change that. And honestly, I'm so grateful for Harry's addition because that made it abundantly clear to me that Magnus is projecting. His bewildered “Can you honestly say you like this?” is an admittance of “I see what I am now and I can't bear it, so how could you?” If that scene had been about Alec, that would have been so uncalled for.
And also loooool but uuuuuuhhh I found Alec's speech less than impressive? I'm sorry, I know he tried but it just didn't work for me? I felt like it really wasn't up to his usual par. Lol I honestly rolled my eyes when he started about the spark that lights up the room XD It felt impersonal, kinda. It's hard to describe. Of course I can cut him some slack on that, because he was emotionally severely overchallenged in that moment and had to make it up on the fly, but uh. Yeah.
Anyway what I really didn't like was his closing line because it kinda sounded as if he was making that decision for Magnus and that's not his place. It might be dangerous and stupid and “not worth the risk” but Magnus isn't in a place where he should have his authority revoked, so. Kept from gambling with his life, yes. With sound arguments and empathy, yes. With dictation, no. So that didn't go over too well with me. Anyway I channeled that into a ficlet already, too, which I'm also advertising at the end.
......has she just been sitting there for six episodes? Btw I wonder, if Jonathan is happily manipulating Lilith by faking positive emotions towards her I don't get why he totally fell for it every time Clary did the exact same thing to him.
THAT MALICIOUS SMILE HAHAHA THE LITTLE (S)ASS
1) SO SHE'S LITERALLY BEEN SITTING THERE FOR SIX EPISODES?!?!!?!?!
2) Why hello there Plot Point XD srsly why tf would Asmodeus use Magnus's magic instead of his own if, need I remind you, his own demonic magic is stronger than Magnus's, Magnus's wasn't even enough to destroy her demonic possession on Jace.... so why would Magnus's magic be enough to bind Lilith, the mother of that possession, to a room? Uh, lemme guess... Plot Convenience? So when, theory time!, Lilith is slayed he has no need for it anymore and can return it to Magnus?
“...to kill you while you were weakened.”
WOW WHAT A DELIVERY AMAZING
........I gotta be honest, I was really confused at his submissive behavior but then I realized... they have a 10 year history of these mechanisms, and slipping back into the pattern of things must be so easy. Also, I mean, that paints a really wonderful and peaceful image of his formative years, right?
Jimon Shipper Moment <3 ;) Look I don't even ship it, but their bickering is high-key amusing to me.
Instead of just standing between them from the get go? Why?
?????? I guess the incest runs in the family, pun not intended?????? Btw Jonathan's weird incest-y obsession makes so much sense now. If this is literally the only way he ever learned how “familial love” (Lilith Greater Demon Edition) is expressed I have no questions anymore. Seriously, he's so screwed over by everyone and it's just unfair. (On that note, glad we never had to see him make out with Valentine. Some things are just too terrible to envision. Damn, why did I say that, I should just shut up for all of our sakes.) Anyway, back to our favorite tortured soul here, I'm honestly not even sure if I can hold the incest thing against him any longer. His entire life consisted of being raised by Valentine, who kept him in a hut in the woods where he never got to see anyone but him, and then Edom where there was Lilith and demons. It makes a horrifying amount of sense that normal human norms mean nothing to him. He's never lived them, he's never witnessed them and maybe he doesn't even know them. So yeah. I guess I'll just add the incest thing on the long long list of things that are due to the stellar parenting he enjoyed, and not entirely his fault.
Damn so close to see my prognosis come true. Then again, I guess this was just the perfect timing because who knows if Lilith won't even help them now kill Jonathan because betrayal bla bla.
1) No need to twist the knife, then again this is Lorenzo so what am I even expecting.
2) WTF ARE THEY REALLY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE?!?!?!??!?!
3) If it's like a transplanted organ being rejected by the body, just, idk, look for a different warlock whose magic fits Magnus better? There must be tests for that kind of thing? And even if there isn't, if you go slow and don't immediately portal all over the world plus end an encanto-coma you should be able to tell the magic doesn't fit pretty quickly without going into cardiac arrest. Magnus only got some nosebleed at first, remember, and it got worse only because he didn't slow down. I'm just saying, there would be Ways.
Wow I never realized before that he's actually got an undercut. Makes his hairstyle look even stupider.
Wow I believe this even less now than I did in 3x12.
“Let's hug in these trying times, but please make sure your face doesn't touch mine, otherwise people might draw the absurd and outrageous conclusion that we're in a relationship or something.”
Honestly. Their portrayal of casual intimacy is abysmal and I hate it.
1) The infirmary is very weird and open space for a place that should be easily closable if you need to contain, idk, sick people and their viruses and keep it sanitary. 2) I've been wondering since the start of the episode, did Lorenzo's pony tail get shorter? Wasn't it longer before? 3) At least Malec managed to make their feet intersect minimally, so yay for small mercies.
“One dose of Plot Convenience, coming right up.”
They're just.... gonna torture her? Really? I don't even have words for this. Oh no, I do:
Seriously. It's as if morality isn't a thing, and torturing a sentient being isn't always and under all circumstances a Wrong and Bad thing to do. Because clearly if the person receiving torture is just Evil Enough then it's okay. Thanks for standing by and doing nothing Simon, this is exactly the reason I hate your inconsistent streak on this matter. I don't even expect better from the born shadowhunters, and Clary is way to un-reflected to even twitch but. Ugh. Why am I even wasting my breath (my typing capacity?) on this. It's pointless.
Wow this is pointless, too. I mean, why is Izzy not interfering? She literally just fell down. She shouldn't be out of comission by this. Ugh.
Also ugh to Izzy slinging her whip around his hand instead of, idk, his whole upper body and his arms.
Also ugh to Simon waiting to attack Jonathan until the last second as a heroic saving move to save Izzy which, ugh.
But this here
#AwkwardGrownUpSquad
I'm honestly lol'ing so hard right now. Hahahaha this is just hilarious to me. Then again, who knows, maybe now they'll team up with Jonathan to kill Lilith and I'll get my hopes up again for a redemption arc XD
......................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Btw I bet you she copied that move from Doctor Strange.
lol another thing I didn't see coming.
1) Hello Hannibal lol 2) Who went in there and put restraints on him? 3) Who's gonna pay that Seelie actress now??
This scene was actually nice? I know, I'm surprised myself.
How convenient. I mean, good thing he didn't say “Glorious” otherwise Izzy might have thought he was asking for that one ESC song to be played at his funeral.
Please, Maryse, don't flatter yourself, all you had to do was scratch Elliot's corpse from the floor boards, the rest was already completely furnished.
..................................................................................................................bye
Look, while part of me is undeniably thrilled at the prospect – because while I was totally rooting for a Malec Wedding I was pretty sure it was an unachievable dream, just like hoping for Sheith – this is exactly what I mean with taking things at face value. Alec takes Magnus at his words (that he has doubts Alec will still love him now that he lost his powers) and so he thinks that a grand gesture of commitment will fix it.
But it won't, because that's not the problem. Or at least I hope it's not the problem, I mean if I lost my arm my main worry would be “Holy shit how am I gonna cope without my trusty appendage” not “What are the neighbors gonna think? Will I still be able to rock my favorite outfit without that limb?”
Anyway. I don't think this'll go over too well at this point in time. And honestly, Alec just realized at the beginning of this episode that he was fooled by Magnus's coping facade and tricked into thinking Magnus would be fine without his magic. And now Magnus has lost is magic again and Alec just... makes the same mistake again, blindly believing the words coming out of Magnus's mouth instead of taking a look for himself and seeing how Magnus is faring? Did he learn nothing from this? Alec. Why are you like this.
Anyway, conclusion time: This episode was way more reasonably paced than the last, the shit decision making was kept to a minimum (except for the part where they, y'know, summon Lilith back to earth) and Jace gets a diligence starlet for displaying common sense.
And now, self advertisement time! I wrote three ficlets: a) a continuation of the scene with Alec and Lorenzo b) a gap-bridging Malec scene set after the “I won't lose you” line and finally c) a what-I'd-like-to-see-happen-in-3x17-fic where Alec tells Izzy about his proposal plans.
I'd be thrilled if you checked one of them out. Until next time XD
(Gif Source)
#shadowhunters#3x16#alec lightwood#jace wayland#magnus bane#clary fray#isabelle lightwood#simon lewis#jonathan morgenstern#lorenzo rey#lilith#luke garroway#maryse lightwood#malec#reaction
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seems at this point there’s no more help. i’m entirely fucked. i don’t think, i can do it. but i’ve been pushing myself because of promises i’ve made to my friends, to protect the ones that have helped me. i, i can’t do anything. i’m entirely powerless. so i’m posting this for after. in case they try to attack anyone who’s helped me. so my household is abusive, as said before, i ran away a few days ago. at this point there isn’t any solution there’s little less than twenty four hours left. i can’t go back. i can’t.
i ran away a few days ago to a friend’s house they helped me, another one gave me refugee for a night. my father threatened statelessness at the end of the day, didn’t even try to reach me kindly once. the next day my sister said that this was what had been expected of me and that i would be forgiven. it wasn’t my fault. they tried to use kindness to reach out to me that day, while threatening statelessness on a side. they emotionally tried to manipulate me and gave me a surplus of distorted information.
i’ll add some pictures here of messages from my family.
there are more, i will give my password to a friend, and they can open it and show more once i, leave. god they’ll be mad.
anyway i have an audio recording, i’m gonna make the audios public and attach them here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1E96ctYFdad0gT1NVCy11GP27GT5j8swy/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pdd1Vwk_uC4I1UkYMFWQ3KMmw7aMGVF9/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yUZjXWixX0r4BK529pl_Y5l8za7iGAOX/view?usp=sharing
i don’t have time to do anything. diplomacy, and reputations matter more than my abuse. the world runs on money and power, both of which i lack.
so anyway, back to the topic i’m writing this for. defending the people who’re helping me.
sj and her parents: the only adults who’ve tried to help, and gone out of their way, offered legal guardianship over me so i don’t have to live with my parents. honestly no one has done anything illegal, but i’ve learnt money and power dominate laws, and fairness. hopefully this post can help them. please please help them. they’re the only ones who helped me get this far. sj’s my best friend in the whole entire world i love her so much, and if i never let go before today she is a big reason why.
rg and his parents: granted me refugee despite insecurities bcs he trusted me. offered lawyers, but they aren’t free til tomorrow and i’m afraid it’ll be too late. i’m also just really tired of fighting, and just wanna let go. rg’s just a big bear okay? he’s a saint (tho he doesn’t believe in religion, please don’t hate me r lol). you’re my second favorite, i promise. pls forgive me ok? but he did nothing wrong, offered me a room, food, lawyer, research, support, everything. even the laptop i’m writing this from.
tw: helped me without letting parents know so he wouldn’t be banned from it since two other people’s parents banned me. bcs they thought i was a lunatic. don’t get mad at the parents, they know the world runs on money and power, only want the best for their children. he’s helped me endlessly in the past. present. everything. even gave me 20,000 forints (70 usd) since i had no money, identification, anything.
jj: majority of the time i’ve stayed at his place. first guy i went to who wouldn’t let me ‘off’ myself. when my parents kicked me out in the middle of winter without a coat, and i almost caught hypothermia he was the one who gave me shelter. he’s in china rn, so no contact but told me i could stay at his before leaving, since rg was leaving somewhere after the first night i stayed at his. gave me about 30,000 forints (105 usd) to make it through. thank you. pls don’t be mad at me, okay?
ac, gs, csb: helped me periodically. cdb watched me while i met with my dad to make sure he didn’t try anything on me- physical, drag me away, etc. gs was besides me ready to call cps when needed. ac helped me get information of things i could do, and refused to stop talking to me.
tf, kk: helped me so much but parents thought i was a lunatic. grounded, phone taken away. still tried to help as much as possible. thank you. i’m sorry i got you in trouble with your parents, but you both helped so much. revived my hope in good, bcs i wasn’t even that good friends with y’all.
that’s who all has helped me. HELPED me. please, okay? i have a thousand followers, more than, i know a lot are inactive. but these people are the only good people i’ve known. protect them when i’m gone. please. you have the fucking evidence, okay? if laws don’t help me, at least don’t let laws be the reason they get in trouble. they’re the best. i wish i could put up a picture of me rn, to prove it’s me but idk how the webcam on this laptop works. but i’ll tell you, im wearing a blue tunic typa top, at costa coffee huvosvolgy, wearing black and white shorts, have the orange black bag kk lent m, the waitress has purple hair, i ordered a iced caramel latte, in the morning i ordered a chocolate croissant, and chocolate cookie, and bought a cheese pizza slice from across this lil hallway of this petite mall of sorts. i don’t know how else to prove it’s me. it is. please please please please protect them.
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watching jojo's bizarre adventure anime adaptation and seeing how much the anime team fixed araki (the mangaka)'s bad writing makes me rlly wish that if berserk gets a proper anime adaptation whoever does it will do the same with miura's writing (and some of his art too tbh). like for example for all their faults the berserk movies did improve casca's character. what are your wants for a potential full berserk anime adaptation? (also let's hope that this is the year we finally get one 🤞)
I never finished JJBA or watched the anime so idk, but I’m curious how much they changed. Like were there big changes to the plot, or was it mostly just little minor changes to smooth over some flaws?
ty for asking, and I apologize in advance for how long this got lol.
tbh I think my ideal, if not realistic, Berserk adaptation is one that just goes ‘fuck it’ and throws out most of the story lol. Starts with Black Swordsman, ends with Femto lowering his hand and letting Guts escape - well more specifically, on this panel:
Like that is a perfect final shot imho.
(Also I might mirror it with the opening shot. Like I wouldn’t open on Guts fucking an apostle lmao, I don’t actually dislike that opening but it doesn’t fit this theoretical adaption. So how about we open on a long shot of Black Swordsman Guts surrounded by the ghosts he’s fighting, that mimics this?)
Ooh I might also… I might stick the Lost Children arc in between Snake Man and Count Slug. Ugggh there are some logistical issues to untangle there, but I really, really want Jill/Rosine Guts/Griffith parallels, and I want ghosts taunting Guts about becoming a monster like his friend. Subtlety is for cowards. Oh except we wouldn’t’ve seen Femto yet so that wouldn’t work. Well, “like him” then instead of “like your friend.” There now it’s foreshadowing 2 ways.
the climax of the story is the moment of sacrifice because there’s no Eclipse rape, Casca dies shortly after Judeau, and Guts’ horror at being sacrificed by Griffith is the emotional low point. Potentially no gtsca either if I can figure out a way to incorporate Guts’ stupid dream speech somewhere else. Maybe it can be a flashback during the Wyald fight, which I’d keep incidentally, sans attempted rape, w/ Guts talking to Erica. Actually yeah that would be perfect and immediately tie Guts’ ��dream” of fighting stronger and stronger enemies with fighting monsters lol, meaning I could bypass Guts’ post Eclipse war declaration that draws that comparison more explicitly.
Boom, Berserk is now a nice little self-contained tragic story about two dudes each becoming solitary monsters because they abandoned each other for abstract dreams, and threw aside the potential for true emotional healing (relationships) for shallow coping mechanisms (swords/dreams). Uhhh, also Puck is cut. Sorry Puck, ilu but you’re a ray of hope that ruins the vibe here.
And finally since this is my ideal adaptation, the subtext between Guts and Griffith is text. They don’t actually fuck or kiss, because that would avert the Eclipse, but… hm how do you make it clear that they want to fuck but are too repressed to do it and that’s what ruins everything? Okay well Griffith’s torture chamber monologue includes “love” a la the anime dub, and maybe “desire” or “need” to completely remove that ambiguity desperately maintained in the minds of straight people. And Guts… I don’t know that I can go textual lol. The only point in the story he can possibly recognize his own feelings is chapter 71.
Ooh I got it. Just include “at that time he shone before me as something beautiful, noble, and larger than life” after the Count’s backstory lmao. Do you really need more? Well, maybe “he shone before me as something larger than life - noble, and… beautiful.” Or just cut to the chase completely: “At that time, he shone before me as something beautiful, noble, and larger-than-life. I loved him.”
OKAY all that said I feel like this wasn’t really what you’re asking lol since you mentioned a complete adaption. So okay assuming there are no huge major changes to the content or structure of the story, here’s a (stupidly long, like only read this if you for some reason enjoy seeing me ramble for days about minute details lmao) list of some more minor things I’d want to change:
I’d start with the Black Swordsman arc and continue as the manga goes. Yes, in this one Guts still fucks an apostle. This is right before the credits, and it’s depicted as badass and cool. In fact, I might actually split the scene with the credits - start the opening sequence right after Guts blows her up, and resume on this shot with more of a sombre tone:
Like okay that would be pretty cheesy lol, but this is the Black Swordsman arc. It’s supposed to be a little campy, and really unsubtle, and this seems like a fun way of highlighting this little tonal shift.
Relatedly, I would not acknowledge the fact that most people watching already know where it’s going. I would maintain the integrity of the first arc in starting off with Guts as an apparent cool badass and then tearing that down, as well as keeping Griffith’s identity and Guts’ motivation a mystery in theory, and making the Count’s backstory the climax of this arc in a revelatory sense, rather than in an action sense.
To get more general, no fanservice for straight dudes. no one’s tits are randomly out, and when they are they’re drawn realistically and subject to the laws of gravity. casca’s clothes don’t get torn all the time, rosine’s got full moth fuzz coverage, farnese is wearing a shirt when guts takes her hostage and if we need self-flagellation (and tbh I wouldn’t necessarily cut it) it can be in a flashback, etc. Oh except Slan I guess. Her whole character is fanservice so w/e I’ll allow it.
not every woman is in love with and solely motivated by a dude. skip the queen’s completely unnecessary reveal that she was in love with julius, skip casca’s “I lived my life with the intent of sacrificing myself on my unrequited feelings for griffith” bullshit, skip sonia’s crush on neogriffith, skip tf out of schierke’s crush on guts, skip the random period of incest-y bdsm-y vibes in Farnese and Serpico’s backstory that adds nothing lol, skip the suggestions that Farnese is jealous of Casca’s history with Guts, etc
also most sexual assault scenes are cut. Casca is running for her life during the 100 man fight, not from attempted rapists. Wyald does not assault Casca, Farnese is not almost raped by a fucking horse, we chill out a bit on the sexual torture in every bg scene during the conviction arc jfc, Casca’s multiple assaults during that arc are cut, troll rape is cut, you get the point.
I’ll keep Adon’s shitty threats tho bc i feel like some violent misogyny is necessary if i’m not changing everything, but I’d completely lose the comic relief vibe he gets and make Casca’s fight with him properly epic and satisfying. The movie did this a bit better imo, but I’d really remove Adon’s whole boastful loser schtick. That might disappoint some fans, but idc Casca deserves to kill someone who is actually kind of a badass.
There’s a lot of bullshit around gtsca that I’m torn between wanting to cut, and instead wanting to just depict very negatively. Like would it be better if instead of Casca shyly asking Guts how she looks in a dress she just complained about the dress being uncomfortable, ie we completely cut that burgeoning “soft side” bs?
Or would it be better if she still asked him how she looks, then we call back to that moment when she gets awkward about her scars before sex, we keep Judeau musing on how she’s showing a soft side, we call back to that when he tells Guts to save her from leadership, we tie it all together when Guts asks Casca to leave with him, and bring it home by making it abundantly clear that Casca moving from being Griffith’s sword to Guts’ sword is not a positive change.
Like highlight everything negative about it - Guts being a huge dick, the ominous undertone when he invites her along (like cue the creepy cello music when they kiss right before we shift to monsters and behelits lol), all the parallels between him and Griffith wrt their dreams, Guts telling Casca to fuck off while he fights Wyald, maybe even add a moment where Casca actually reflects on how she’s left out of all the dream/equals bullshit and what that says about their priorities and how they see her. Might be a nice lead up to her telling Guts to leave to pursue his dream and be Griffith’s equal.
also maybe show that judeau is wrong about casca being better off away from the hawks? ugh there’s so much that would have to be reworked with her narrative. like if she still has to attempt suicide, again can we ditch the lead up about how it’s because she has an unrequited crush on griffith and just keep it about the fact that she hasn’t slept in a week and she’s on the run and her hawks keep dying and griffith is being tortured and she just stabbed guts and she’s had a very difficult year?
and like, maybe she leapt to accept Guts’ ‘come with me’ offer because she’s exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed, but are you kidding me? While Guts gets an entire narrative arc about abandoning his found family, Casca doesn’t even think about it for a moment before agreeing to ditch them? Can we maybe have some indication about how she feels about the Hawks as a family, maybe some reflection about why she would choose to leave, maybe some second thoughts about it after the Wyald fight when it becomes abundantly clear what her role would be while Guts pursues his dream, like god she’s such a pawn of the narrative, I hate it. Give her some real reasons for doing stuff!
ANYWAY moving on
like the movie, I’d give charlotte more agency in the sex scene w/ griffith, I liked her asking him to stay and moving his hand to her tit herself. I probably would not actually make griffith so out of it though - i enjoyed that in the movie but I don’t necessarily consider it in-character. The way he went from literally crying in the rain to smiling and making charming jokes as soon as Charlotte opened the window in the manga honestly makes perfect sense to me lol. Just uh, make Charlotte into it from the start because there’s zero reason for her not to be other than bad misogynistic cliches?
Also I feel like there’s a balance to be struck between depicting het sex as dude sticks his dick in, woman somehow has a good time a la the manga vs making guts and griffith competent at foreplay and oral a la the movies lol. Like maybe depict the sex scenes as the bad sex they are but Charlotte still feels closer to Griffith afterwards despite not coming from a dude fucking her while thinking about another dude and like, just keep Casca telling Guts he was obviously a virgin afterwards lol.
I guess we’re stuck with the Eclipse rape, but it happens mostly off screen and in close, telling but non-explicit details, like yk, big clawed hand holding a wrist, Casca’s eyes squeezed shut, Femto’s hand on the small of her back (I’m thinking a reversed call back to the wagon scene w/ that to suggest Femto’s motivation being a show of power tbqh). Some would be from Casca’s pov, with maybe one brief moment from Guts’ pov as he loses an eye or something. Keep the movie’s visual reference to Griffith saving her. No pornographic angles. No apostle rape prelude to it. Casca doesn’t have an orgasm. Femto doesn’t stare at Guts. It’s not about Guts at all for either of them, it’s about Femto taking Griffith’s fucked up relationship to sex and expressing it monstrously, and it’s about Casca being betrayed and symbolically negating the agency she fought for since Griffith threw her a sword. Guts’ reaction is horror and fear, not manly heroic outrage. He might still rip off his arm to attack Femto, but that would be because that’s always his reaction to whatever scares him, not for Casca’s sake. Might have to contextualize that with flashbacks to his childhood, or at the very least strong visual parallels to both his childhood and the Zodd + Wyald fights.
I want to cut the fetus, replace it with like a cronenburg-y fucked up dog-like demon in the Black Swordsman arc - not as a literal version of the Beast of Darkness, but just as a metaphor for how Guts’ inner darkness is twisting him into a pathetic asshole lol. But tbh cutting the fetus is a logistical nightmare because Casca needs magic protection during the Conviction arc. So idk. But NGriff doesn’t need it, and his narrative would be more engaging without that scapegoat. Fuck emotional ambiguity, I just want to drop the news that NGriff has feelings, and then not change anything else about his narrative. The themes of isolation and loneliness threaded throughout would just shine through lol it would be great.
I would emphasize the shit out of the Beast of Darkness/Femto parallels. Yeah Guts would still assault Casca in my adaption too. If the Eclipse rape happens, that has to happen because the point is that Guts’ inner darkness is the same. But like, I’d cut the page where beast of darkness guts bites her head off while raping her. Also I’d keep the visual parallel to the Eclipse rape (the v similarly depicted kisses) and add another from Casca’s point of view, or have her flashback then instead of just staying in Guts’ head.
as for the fallout, I’d give Guts a proper scene where he sees himself as a monster, like damn he got more of a self-reflective and telling reaction that time he accidentally killed a random kid, we should get something when he sexually assaults Casca. but overall I’d focus way more on Casca being afraid of him now rather than his mopey guilt. I would also… I mean god this should be addressed in the fact that Guts fucking wears the Berserk armour all the time lol. Like one second he’s all, “omg Flora can put a magic seal on my brand that’ll depower my magical evil jiminy cricket wolf and hopefully prevent me from raping and murdering Casca, that’s great!” and the next second he’s all, “omg magic armour I can wear that will enable me to kill everything with the side effect of superpowering my inner evil wolf and turning on my companions? sign me the fuck up I’m sure nothing bad could possibly happen with that.”
Like what I’m saying is I’d either make Guts a lot more reluctant to use the armour and take Skull Knight’s warnings seriously and genuinely reflect on the fact that mysterious magical children have to prevent him from murdering his friends over and over again, or I’d draw attention to this idiocy and fully commit to Guts as a dumbass hypocrite blithely walking down the path to more tragedy of his own making. and probably the latter based on where the story is likely to be headed lol.
in the lost children arc, I’d give Rosine’s mother more of a role as a good parent who Rosine has a loving relationship with, who tried and failed to stop her father’s abuse or something, because honestly I love the Peekaf story and I find Rosine’s regret at the end as she tries to fly home v powerful, but I hate the idea that she regrets sacrificing her abusive father so maybe this way I can split the difference.
and Jill’s ending where she goes home to endure abuse would be depicted much more darkly.
like straight up I’d depict Jill flying with Rosine as a truly beautiful moment, I would show that Jill has the potential to fulfill Rosine in a way her neverland kidnapping bullshit can’t and that yes, if Jill stayed with Rosine everything might actually work out and with Jill’s influence the whole land of the elves thing could be reworked into less of a nightmare and more of a haven lol. And Guts would absolutely be depicted as fully monstrous in comparison, ruining both these kids’ lives. Like, no ambiguity, no suggestion that Jill learned an important lesson about living with abuse lmao, no implication that Rosine brought her tragic end on herself by not being a good enough child abuse victim, just Guts sowing tragedy wherever he goes.
I have no idea how to deal with the conviction arc in general lol, specifically the ultra cynical tone the actual narrative seems to take. Like, the Black Swordsman arc was idealistic compared to the Conviction arc, they clash badly imo. Extremely badly. Like it’s a giant mess. It’s like
Black Swordsman Guts: fuck everyone who dies because they weren’t strong enough to deal with my existence. *turns and wipes away a tear* *lets a zombie kid stab him* *evokes pity from puck*Conviction Guts: fuck everyone who dies because they weren’t strong enough to deal with my existence. *poses with his sword in one hand and the rescued love interest in the other* *the crowd cheers* *luca nods sagely*
yk it’s just… awkward. It’s hard to mitigate through like, film choices yk, because a lot of it is due to the circumstances. Guts telling Puck innocent people are just ants under his feet is much different than Guts refusing to let the big bad kill Casca by telling him that tens of thousands of people can and should die because they pray too much lmao, no matter what music plays in the background. Guts’ attitude is the same, the narrative’s attitude is contradictory.
Maybe I could make Guts less of a dick and cut a lot of those cynical moments? Not really call attention to the fact that Guts is effectively sacrificing tens of thousands of refugees for Casca, or more accurately, for his own desire to feel like a hero since he isn’t even the one who saves Casca, he got distracted trying to fight the fake Godhand.
Or lol maybe I’ll just have Isidro point that out in like, a smug way. Maybe I’ll have NeoGriffith personally thank him for his contribution to his resurrection. I mean I really want to call this questionable shit into question, yk? Not to declare Guts wrong for wanting to save Casca, but to declare his cavalier idgaf attitude a big problem that has consequences. Which would actually tie in nicely with emphasizing Guts’ dumbassery in brushing off Skull Knight’s warnings about the armour and insisting it’s nbd. lol I really hope this is what Miura’s going for, just more subtlely.
Actually I wonder if I could get away with cutting Isidro out entirely. Anyone could’ve saved Casca there.
Oh I’d cut the hell out of a lot of Guts’ fight scenes in the MF arc, and if I could possibly get away with it I’d cut out everything on the beach after Skull Knight’s ominous warning. Like this might end up being the Griffith show for a while because Guts’ half is a fucking slog. And of course I’d cut the entire boat trip. They get on a boat, they get off a boat, the end.
Okay I need to stop somewhere. I’m ignoring a lot of later stuff because it’s so dependent on where the story’s going now that Casca is awake etc. Like eg the Moonlight Boy. Can I cut him? Give him a more ominous tone? Emphasize the saccharine tone he evokes for the sake of pulling the rug out from under the audience later? Will I be forced to make huge changes anyway because I can’t stand where the story ended up going? Idk it depends.
If I could tho I’d definitely cut Magnifico, Isidro, Ivalera, mermaid… like Farnese, Serpico, and Schierke are the only characters on Guts’ side who contribute to the story in a meaningful way. And without Isidro Puck could again too.
Oooh yk one thing that might be nice would be framing Farnese as the main protagonist of Guts’ half of the story during the MF arc. Just focus on her, show more stuff from her perspective, cut down a lot of fights but keep her digression back home, maybe give her some additional content that explores her character shift better, show her struggling more with her own inner darkness a bit when she first joins and give her some character beats as she slowly grows more comfortable with Casca, maybe put her backstory chapters in the first episode of a new season (a great season ender would be Guts walking away from the Hill of Swords js), etc.
lmao god I feel like I could keep going forever. sorry this is so meandering but ty for giving me the opportunity to go on and on about this. Is there anything you’d really like to change yourself?
#ask#a#b#Anonymous#anyway jsyk the part before the cut is kind of its own separate thing so if you click this and decide it's too long to read#there's always just the first part lol#theme: adaption#theme: critique#theme: opinion
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still swimming.
i thought the first year of law school was suppose to be the toughest. that was not the case for me.
this past semester, the first of my 2L year was the most trying experience of my life. and sheesh, i have dealt with a lot of experiences.
before we go any further, i think its important to tell you a little about myself and warn you of some contents that this post will contain.
i am brutally honest. i dont believe in sugar coating the truth, and so i wont. this post may be triggering to anyone who has every experienced sexual assault and/or sexual harassment. this post is my truth. and if you havent noticed by now, i do not like capital letters or formal punctuation. and i also cant spell.
anyway, back to the story.
the beginning of the semester started off rocky. i worked for my school and assisted with many task including orientation for the first year students and the title ix policy updates (thanks betsy *eyeroll*).
unfortunately, i had to use that title ix policy.
at the end of july, my key card to get in and out of my school’s parking deck was not working properly. i expressed my concern to a security officer. instead of walking to the gate, he walked with me to the parking deck and followed me to my car. we were the only two in the parking deck.
while at my car, he asked me on a date. i was not interested in the slightest. but hey, im a girl all alone in the parking deck with a security guard. i had just heard about a woman getting killed for rejecting a man. and i sure tf have no lived enough to die. so i told him that school was starting soon and i did not have time. smooth escape i thought. and i also thought that would be it, i was wrong.
the next week, i left the second floor (where i worked) to go downstairs and get a snack from the vending machines. he saw me and ran to try and pay for my snack, thoughtful gesture, but i refused as i did not want to lead him on. he then followed me to the elevators and handed me a note with his number on it.
i had to cross paths with him to get to work, and he would make comments to me. once in particular troubled me.“you dont work on wednesdays, we could go out on a wednesday.” and that is when a red flag went off for me.
why do you know my work schedule? ive already said i wasnt interest, why are you still actively pursing me? so i told my friend/co-worker about the interactions and asked her to walk me to my car.
while working late one evening, he came to the suite and started talking and staring. it was after hours and he was no longer on the clock. the other security officer on duty was probably home with his feet kicked up by this hour. instead of doing the same... he came to “see what was going on.” being aware of the situation and that i was uncomfortable, my friend engaged in the conversation so i didnt have to. bless her.
during orientation, we had leftover food. my boss at the time asked me to take some to the security officers. my friend and i locked eyes knowing i sure tf was not about to lead this man on by any means. so, that is when i told my boss at the time that i was good off doing that. if you know who my boss was, you know she will get the truth out of you.
one thing lead to another and boom, the incidents were reported to HR. who i was required to meet with. during the first week of classes, i met both HR and my boss to reassure them that i was not looking to get a black man fired, i just wanted to be left alone.
time went by, nothing happened. i still was uncomfortable passing the security desk. i would have friends walk with me to the car so i wouldnt be alone bc guess who did rounds in the parking deck, yeah. you guessed it, him.
unfortunately, my request was not fulfilled. he did not leave me alone. i was required to do a tabling event for work. guess where that tabling event was? right across from the security desk. gr8!!! he looked at me and loudly started saying "i shouldn't have to come to work and be uncomfortable.” he said this several times, causing others in the area to look and see what was going on.
again, the tabling event was for work (different job btw). i was sitting next to my boss who was unaware of the previous interactions. she too asked “why is he screaming like that?”
i sat there in shock. in silence. and on the clock, so i couldnt leave.
why. should. he. have. to. come. to. work. and. feel. uncomfortable.
that was it, my breaking point. i felt unsafe. i expressed my concerns to the appropriate parties. eventually time went on and he was transferred.
shortly after, repressed memories of my childhood rape surfaced during a therapy session. along with many thoughts: was i over exaggerating? did i lead him on in anyway? could i have done more to let him know i wasnt interested before reporting the incidents? was this my fault?
guilt.
i lost track of what was happening in real life because i was so distracted by the thoughts in my head. but as soon as i gained back some control, real life hit me again. my legal writing assignment had been posted. and guess what the topic was? sexual harassment in the work place.
you mean to tell me, i have to do research, write a brief, and have an oral argument about sexual harassment? shit, someone call my therapist.
i wrote some shit on some paper. and that was that. what was happening in my classes? no clue. what was happening in my life? no clue. what was going on in the world? no clue.
i got lost again.
i just wanted to float and let the current carry me for awhile. i wanted to watch the clouds chase each other into different corners of the sky like freed kites who never worry about the meaning of away. i wanted to float. ive been swimming so long.
but my thoughts eventually had an off switch and i was good again. then guess what?
kavanaugh.
here we fucking go again.
the student body president signed an aba petition to conduct an impartial hearing on kav. and for some reason, some students were pissed. so they took it upon themselves to write a petition to have the sba president remove his name from the aba petition and issue an apology.
i need you to pay very close attention for this part.
i sat in class triggered. surrounded by people signing this petition while tears poured down my face. how fucking disgusting are you people.
now the only reason i know what the petition actual was is because i am in sba. otherwise, i would have no clue it ever existed. want to know why? because the students who wrote the petition never asked me to sign it. trust me, i am not offended. in fact, im honored that they knew better than to bring some bullshit like that to me. but what was upsetting, when another student asked what was going on (why everyone was gathered looking at the petition), the authors of it said “we’re just looking at some stuff about aba accreditation.”
baby, if you gonna talk about it. be about it. smh.
the petition surfaced. and the names on it, wow. people i looked up to. people i considered role models. women who are allegedly advocates for women. women in general. even a few self-proclaimed feminist.
wow. the names.
so many people who have reached out to me when i told my story about being raped as a child. so many people i believed would be there for me if i asked for help dealing with the recent sexual harassment. so many frauds.
their names, they were on it. big and bold.
i didnt want to float anymore. i wanted to drown.
i was suffering. isolating myself from everyone. i did the absolute bare minimum. i distanced myself from my family, my friends, from everyone around me.
i didnt read for any of my classes. i stopped caring. i had thoughts about dropping out of school. i still have the withdrawal email in my draft.
i want to give someone credit for helping me through this, but i cant. this ocean, its so big. but hell, i havent drowned yet.
meanwhile, im still swimming.
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