#it's all just 'how do i make this sad but also weirdly heartwarming'

[eff-plays]

Fic thots below the cut, nothing upsetting or anything but might not be interesting for everyone, and it's also Astarion's-relationship-with-sex headcanon territory and we all know this fandom just loves that so be warned for hot hot takes (not really)

I'm thinking of maybe like ... including a third sex scene in the fic? Like in the game there's 2 before his confession as far as I know/for my playthroughs, and one after the end to his quest (canonically, presumably there's more happening off-screen).

So the first time it's at the tief party, and they're both like ... dissociating and it's kinda meh in the moment. For Astarion it becomes more significant in hindsight, for Hira it's just another mediocre elf to add to the pile.

Then's the second time, and I think Hira's trying to actually be present, because they like Astarion just a little bit more and since he's inexplicably asking for seconds, they figure they owe it to him to at least try to make it less bad. And they succeed! It's less mechanical and perfunctory, and they put on their own "ough I'm a seductive yet sensitive tiefling who has feelings for you and you're so special" thing, which Astarion falls for because he has no concept of anything (and Hira's being extra nice because he's not really a mark of theirs), and he's like ... Wait this should suck more? Why does this feel kinda nice actually? And it's still not mindblowing trauma-ending sex, but the fact that they're so very gentle and attentive and weirdly loving is so new to him that he doesn't know what to do with it. (Nor the cuddling afterward rip in pieces)

And then I'm thinking that maybe there's a third time, in early Act 2, where Astarion gets suddenly horny and just sort of initiates without thinking, without it being something he planned beforehand, and feels terrible during and after because he's now using them for his own gain in more ways than one. Like when he sort of enjoyed himself last time, it was still in the mindset of "well I have to do this, I have to use them and if they insist on being nice, then that's their perogative." This time, it's fully just "hey, you turned me on and did a good job last time, let's have sex" and in his mind that's him using them again, but for sexual pleasure this time as well as his Simple Plan. And he doesn't know where his own desires begin and where his habits end, or why it's just them specifically, or what to do with the fact that he's kinda starting to feel things that he can't name, but this is still technically just a ruse. So right after he's like eugh ... Why did I do that? I should stop doing that, but why? My plan was supposed to work and it is working so why does it feel bad?

Idk. Does that vibe? I think it kinda vibes. I'm trying to fill in some blanks and add some angst where it feels appropriate.

AND HIRA OMG. Would have to write a separate post on their POV in this mess.

[jacksgreysays]

Fake Fic Summaries 30/?, the Gotta Complete The Set edition (2023-02-27)

The Theories of Uncertain Presents

Naruto knows that one day he’ll go back home and reunite with his teammates, the only family he’s ever had, but until then he’ll try to find himself.

Literally.

He probably shouldn’t have done shadow clone jutsu so close to an unfamiliar seal.

Okay, I felt like I was dogging on Naruto in the bleak primadonna AU and I’ve been reading a lot of DoS fic which, understandably, focuses more on Shikako and Sasuke doing ANBU shenanigans — more specifically the In a Definite Place at a Definite Time ‘verse and all of it’s spin offs/permutations/inspired by, etc. In which Shikako and Sasuke end up in Warring Clans Era and sort of complicate and encourage peace between the Uchiha and Senju depending on which fics you read, lol.

In particular, I read The Results of Non-Future’s Past by Aryia_Lexi_Sevorus which is where the title of this fake fic comes from, and which resolves the time travel issue with Shikako reverse engineering the memory sharing aspect of the shadow clone jutsu such that there are two version of Sasuke and Shikako, one who stay in the past, and one who receive their memories and don’t set off the seal to begin with. Aryia_Lexi_Sevorus’ fic is about Kakashi joining them. It’s very heartwarming.

But then my brain went… HOW DOES NARUTO JOIN THEM? Because how sad would it be for the Lucky Sevens to only be partially complete T_T

On the one hand, of course it would be LOGICAL if it just occurred when he returns after his training trip and did what Kakashi did to join them, but that’s SO LONG and it’s not like Naruto doesn’t ALSO encounter strange things when he’s on his own, and it WAS an Uzumaki seal plus shadow clones (his specialty) that sends the others’ memories back.

So what if he did it in reverse? (Konoha’s #1 most unpredictable ninja, lol)

As in, Naruto is out training somewhere (maybe Jiraiya’s busy doing spymaster stuff or he’s just being irresponsible, who knows) but he does shadow clone—as per usual when he’s solo training—in a place he shouldn’t ie where there is a similar Uzumaki time travel seal. But instead of making a shadow clone, he makes Schroedinger’s copies of himself one for the present and one for the past. Both of them are the real him because both of them are also the shadow clone. This is basically Everything, Everywhere, All At Once rules: either all of them are real or none of them are real, there’s no “truer” versions of yourself. But we’re dealing with two anyways… although the EEAAT comparison may come back up again.

Anyways, we would follow travelled-to-the-past!Naruto’s POV to the Warring Clans Era where he maybe even encounters the Uzumaki who made the original seal. And, weirdly enough, I almost feel like—in a similar way that his method to get there is opposite to the others—he doesn’t have that many problems integrating with the Uzumaki, and once he figures out what’s happening he just straight up tells the Uzumaki the truth.

And they believe him. Because they’re the Uzumaki. (And, also, if the person making the seal was there then they have an idea of what it could do. In addition, there’s probably a chakra sensor who can absolutely confirm that Naruto is in fact an Uzumaki. And thirdly, even if the Kyuubi chakra freaks them out, I’m assuming the jinchuuriki is Mito’s seal, and I feel like the Uzumaki would recognize her handiwork)

He’s an Uzumaki who gets to discover what the Uzumaki were like! He gets to discover family! He has a clan! All of my Uzushio Feels™!

So it’s more of a “discovering his heritage” fic than a “high stakes undercover don’t mess up the timeline” thing that his teammates are going through, but that’s kind of what the Uzumaki are like. Also, it would be funny if it’s happening at the same time as Sasuke and Shikako’s situation, which would explain where the heck Mito is the whole time considering I think she’s mentioned to already be married to Hashirama but is very rarely in any of the various fic. Like, she went back to Uzushio for a quick errand and then Naruto showed up. They might assume that Naruto is Mito’s descendant anyway considering 1) he doesn’t know his parents’ names, only that he is an Uzumaki from Konoha and 2) the jinchuuriki seal on his belly is probably her style

She’ll go back once she figures out this new Uzumaki situation and lets him enjoy being an Uzumaki in Uzushio.

And at some point Mito is like… I’m going to bring my new little brother to Konoha and Team Seven just does the Spiderman pointing meme before group hugging, absolutely baffling everyone else witnessing. Well, probably not Mito, because she already knows he’s from the future. Although I suppose she’d be baffled by the fact that his teammates are also back in time.

To prevent it from being ENTIRELY fluff, I would probably throw in the fact that, since his situation is extremely different from Sasuke and Shikako, that each time he does shadow clone in either the Warring Clans Era or the Present both versions of him get the memory feedback. So if WCE!Naruto does a shadow clone, both WCE!Naruto AND Present!Naruto will received that shadow clone’s memories—because, again, both are the real Naruto. Which means, eventually, this will be very useful for information passing back and forth once he gets back to Konoha and can confer with his teammates, but for right now if probably very bewildering and alarming. Especially for Present!Naruto who is just getting hit with memories of time traveling and meeting other Uzumaki?

Although, now that I’ve typed it out, obviously that means Present!Naruto can send information back to WCE!Naruto. And obviously Present!Naruto will tell Jiraiya what’s happening, so at some point Jiraiya’s gotta confess that he’s known who Naruto’s parents are the whole time and I guess what I’m saying is—again, in a similarly everything is opposite of his teammates—Naruto’s drama/stress happens in the present not the WCE.

I mostly just wanted Naruto to be included in the time traveling thing and also the Spiderman pointing meme with Team Seven, lol.

[a-very-fond-farewell]

15 questions, 15 people:

I was tagged by the lovely @lienwyn 💕 hi dear. thank you for the opportunity to overshare 😈🔥 (also, you own a loom?? amazing flex. I’m honestly jealous ahah. and the dog-longing word?? 🥺 heartwarming 😔💕 I feel you on the pain in the back tho, that must have been quite intense for you to have such a reaction. big hugs 💜)

here we go!

-

1. are you named after anyone?

unfortunately yes, but it was a mistake. my parents thought the name was elegant.. little did they know a historical figure had it too ahah

2. when was the last time you cried?

so. weird thing. I cry when I see animals. or when I look at people and go “........ earthlings just like me <3”. or when I think too much about how much I love my people. but spontaneous, SAD crying......? not sure. Ik I’ve been down recently, yeah. but if I start crying it’s the end for me. I end up with a stuffy nose all night, if I do. (my hand recently had me seeing stars tho, ngl)

3. do you have kids?

I’m glad I don’t.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

I try not to IRL bc you never know how smart people can be. in the sense that I used to use it when I was younger and people smarter than me called me out for it enough times to make me lose any interest in it. I’m also not really good at knowing when someone is being sarcastic with me, period. so.. yeah. not really. no.

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

I’m oblivious. I’m so oblivious I don’t even notice large scars on their faces or the color of their eyes sometimes?? from afar I’m quite proficient at reading people’s mood tho?? like, if they are belligerent or not?? is that a thing?? also I can hear them before I can see them almost all the time. I’m a bat, I can hear everything.

6. what’s your eye color?

green? possibly? I have a colorblind mother who tells me they’re blue tho. but she might be convinced of that only because she sees her own eyes as gray when they are green. so I’m not sure about that. my dad tells me we have the same eye color..........but that’s not true. like. his are blue-blue. mine are not like that at all.

fun fact, I love dark eyes. keep talking, gorgeous, I’m not gonna argue with someone with beautiful big brown eyes.

7. scary movies or happy endings?

I’m a scaredy-cat :( I wish I could watch scary movies tho. that seems so much fun! so imma stick to happy endings for now, yes.

8. any special talents?

I craft? a lot? oh but I want to learn woodcarving *-* that would be so much fun. and I guess I’m semi-proficient in the Dad-Art of “collecting weirdly-shaped objects that will eventually come in handy to slot somewhere when they are needed”. yeah :D

9. where are you born?

in the bog. the foggy countryside. the cul-de-sac. but also. northern italy.

10. what are your hobbies?

felt punching, drawing, writing, nagging people, watching old detective shows, reading, petting cats, telling dogs they are good bois (or good girls!), cleaning cupboards, researching, taking notes, horror vacui, listening to people tell me all about their special interests, naps.

11. do you have any pets?

parents have 2 dorky kitties. I long for a silky anteater or a lobster tho. a fat loaf of a cat to call mine would be nice too one day tho, yes.

12. what sports do you/have you played?

I was pretty good at crab soccer when I was younger. and I liked skiing. ;-; too expensive for me where I lived tho.

13. how tall are you?

166cm (5’5??)

14. favourite subject in school?

Dante :) no but fr, italian literature and english. German was cool too, but now I can’t remember any of it :(

15. dream job?

I’m considering either sheparding or...... are there non-religious monasteries out there? that aren’t sects or cults? tax-free, honest labor? no? just me? ok. no but fr, restoring old furniture or working in a library. but I don’t have the qualifications for either of those unfortunately.

it’s time to open that lobster sanctuary of my dreams then 😤 that will cure me.

-

here we go! thank you for the lovely game! Imma tag......... idt I have 15 peeps to tag. but I’ll tag some, in case they want to join (or simply to snoop around my business, always nice to be seen :) no pressure to play): @goaheadandflysomeplane , @fismoll7secinv , @shhhsoftnwet , @kinslayersadvocate , @sssrha , @thepointlessmasterpiece !

[jasiemint]

Scaramouche Imagine~

when you suddenly fell asleep that he comes into your consciousness

theme: fluff (?), very cute and heartwarming, warning might make you cry, may contain sensitive topics, not proofread

on a serious note, this is crack LMFAO you have been warned.

It was very late at night. You can't fall asleep and there are two reasons for such: the stampede of thoughts in your head and the cruel stomachache. You opened your eyes, giving up on trying to fall asleep. Right arm making its way out of the blankets, reaching out for the top of your wooden bedside cabinet as you get your phone. You turned it on and saw the time. 3:27am. You have been laying down, tossing and turning, ever since it was 11. The situation looked deem, hopeless, yet confusing.

Suddenly, you again felt a sharp pain in your stomach. This has happened multiple times this night. In your head, sleep would have made it disappear, but it seems that sleep is nowhere near. You recalled what your great yet Lesser Lord Kusanali once quoted - "use the bathroom and flush your anxiety dookie away~". As you cannot help it anymore, you stood up and walked towards the bathroom.

You took a shit, and oh boy was it hard to push it out. It was like you had to muster all your strength and courage for this very hour, for this divine event. Oh? But all of a sudden, pitch black filled your vision. One second, your eyelids felt so heavy and now, you are finally in deep slumber. Who would have thought that perhaps changing your bed to a toilet can help.

Supposedly you are in a deep sleep where your mind is at peace and you do not have to think or do anything. But what is this strange feeling? As if your soul had been transported back to reality but far away from it as well. It cannot be explained, but you just felt it. Is this what happens when you become in touch with your own consciousness? Slowly coming to your senses, your once bowing head turned upwards. Shocked, you saw the face of The Balladeer staring at you. What are those in his eyes? That purple electrifying look. no. There is more to it. You looked deeper and you saw something you did not expect - mercy. Pity.

He then held your hand, and as if your consciousness is in fact connecting with reality in some way, you were finally able to release that one last tiny hard piece of poopoo you have been struggling to get out. You cried tears of joy and worshipped the one who had held your hand. Scaramouche, satisfied with his help, laughed with a sprinkle of both genuine relief and degradation. "Mortals... A very simple task yet you still need me to succeed. How laughable."

You completely woke up from your consciousness. Now unable to see Scaramouche, you felt sad. But no matter. It was a pleasure and honor already to see him, and hell, even held your hand. You don't know if he can hear you, but you wanted to express gratitude. You cried and screamed plenty of thanks and continuously did this as you wash and wipe your business away.

The neighbors, who were sleeping tight, woke up to your screams. They filed a complaint to the village owner of where you are residing. When they came to talk to you, you preached of how great Lord Scaramouche is. They all looked at you weirdly - "Do we need medical help?". They kept trying to know into your sense that Scaramouche is but a fictional character and that you need to touch grass. Yet you refused. You feel and know that you are in the right. Just like any follower, you defended your new god with all your might. You also know that no, you do not need to touch grass.

Unless you spent precious time reading all of this. Then maybe you do. Don't you have something to do in life? Are you okay? Touch grass, please.

Fear not, however, for I will come with you. After all, I spent 30 minutes writing all this down. Maybe, just maybe, we all need to seek help.

Oh, and to summarize all of this... You know what you just read?

A story about you taking a shit at 3am and being so tired that you fell asleep. But then Scaramouche went in your consciousness. You were crying deep inside so he pitied you and helped you release that one tiny hard last piece of poopoo then you woke up and thanked him in a very loud manner that the neighbors, cops, and doctors had to be involved. Did you get the therapy you need? Idk man, you tell me

[sevendeadlymorons]

Hello! How are you? Can you do head-canons for the bros (and in-undateables if you want) with a teen MC (like 13-16) pls? Like how they act when they meet them, how they act now, specific head-canons like that y’know? ONLY PLATONIC OR FAMILY-LIKE RELATIONSHIPS no romantic or sexual ones because that’s ✨gross✨ Anyway, thank you for your time and if you don’t want to do this I completely understand! Have a nice day lovely!😘

This ones so sweet so I honestly can’t wait to get started. Hope yer having a great day, love x

FYI: let’s say Belphie wasn’t trapped in the attic for this HC just to make it so that he didn’t murder a child-

Brothers + Dateables Reaction to Teen MC

————————————

Lucifer

When he first chose you for the exchange program, he kind of expected someone... older?

But instead here you were, another chihuahua

To his surprise, you had your calm moments but you also had your energetic moments where you and Mammon would cause problems upon problems around the house

To say you got annoying quickly would be an understatement, but weirdly, he saw you as his own kid and he did anything to protect you

If you were upset, he was straight at your side with a cup of hot chocolate and asking who made you upset, just like a worried parent would

He felt so relieved when after a couple months passed you began to calm down and sit with him and just talk about life and how you’re handling RAD

The first time you gave him a hug he was genuinely surprised and wasn’t sure what to do but he honestly could’ve cried

Mammon

As soon as he saw you he just went straight to the chihuahua jokes. He loved your size cause it meant he could use you as his arm rest whenever he wanted

Immediately took you under his wing and became an older brother figure to you, keeping you safe and rarely letting anyone touch you

He’s like the cool older brother you’ve always wanted who buys you little gifts every now and again as a surprise and makes you laugh all the time

He loves how energetic you are and how much fun you two have together tormenting his brothers

Seeing you sad is something he never wants to see, and I can promise you that sadness will not last long with Mammon by your side

Any type of affection you give him makes him so so happy, like hearing a child say their first word

Honestly though, he likes the chill side of you too where you two can just sit back, watch a movie and say “it’s you” at every unattractive character the both of you come across

Leviathan

Children really wasn’t his thing and he was not expecting to have to look after the exchange student

But after a while, you turned out to be pretty cool since you two shared a lot of hobbies together and you even cosplay with him on certain occasions

He’s a literal older brother figure to you and it makes him elated to have you as his Henry

You two shop for endless useless crap on Akuzon together and get yelled at by Lucifer for blocking the entrance with all the boxes

He’s comfortable around you, especially as you eventually began to calm down and the only thing you wanted to do was stay up all night and laze around in his bedroom all day

If you were ever sad, he’ll quickly turn on your favourite anime or movie and wrap you up in a huge blanket. He never wants to see you upset

You may have given him a heart attack the first time you hugged him though but he was so close to crying, it may’ve been the best day of his life

Satan

Energetic short stack as the new exchange student? No thanks

Sort of just attempted to avoid you the first couple days but you kept on following him, asking him so many questions

But after a while, he began to gradually warm up to you and even shared some of his books with you and read them to you when you had trouble sleeping

The bond he has with you isn’t exactly brotherly, it’s more like the chill uncle that gives you extremely old shit that you never knew you needed

He lowkey protects you with his life though. If someone says something mean to you, he’s the first person who’s at your aid

If you’re upset, he’ll sort that problem out super fast. You won’t be sad on his watch

Didn’t know how to respond the first time you gave him a hug so he pat your head and then it kinda stuck so now whenever you hug him, he gives your head a gentle pat

Asmodeus

Nobody really thought having you around Asmo was a good idea, but actually, you two weren’t a bad match

He definitely without a doubt had that favourite gay brother vibe where he’d dress you up pretty and talk to you about relationships and emotions

He always made you feel good about yourself and made it his mission to never see you sad or lonely

If you ever were, he’ll be like your personal servant until you weren’t. Gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, he’d do anything to see you stay happy

Brought you gifts home occasionally and asked you to try them on if the gift was clothes or accessories and let you try his perfume and lip gloss from time to time

Seeing you gradually grow as you became more comfortable with his brothers and him was such a proud moment for him

He gave you the biggest hug back when you first gave him a hug, he was so excited

Beelzebub

Same with Asmo, nobody thought it was a good idea being around him, especially with his tendencies to eat just about anything

But he was alright with you, he walmed up to you pretty quick and soon took you under his wing like he had another little sibling to look after

Brought you snacks whenever you asked him to and made sure you had a smile on your face constantly

He got so worried if you were upset and even got a little upset himself, so he’d spent more time with you and tell you how great you are until you were happy

If you asked him to, he’d lift you up onto his shoulders and walk around with you just to hear you laugh and feel so tall compared to all the others

Watching you settle down from being this once energetic kid to a calmer one was heartwarming to him and he now enjoys nothing more than sitting back, sharing snacks and throwing popcorn into your mouth when you two watch a movie

He actually cried when you hugged him, no joke, this man was close to sobbing

Belphegor

Another annoying chihuahua around? He’ll pass...

It’s not like he ever actually sees any of his brothers anyway since he sleeps so much, but you just wouldn’t leave him alone for some reason

Sometimes he’d unknowingly wake up to you on the opposite side of the bed after joining him in a nap or on the floor playing on your phone waiting for him to wake up so you could talk to him

After a while, he sort of just got used to you being around him and even enjoyed waking up to find you laying on the ground on your phone

Sometimes you were a bit too energetic for his liking but spending the nights awake with you were always his favourite parts of the day

Once he found you sat in a ball on his floor crying and he’d never gotten up from a nap faster as he sat next to you with a blanket, continuously telling you jokes until you finally smiled

Wasn’t too bothered about you hugging him for the first time, he just smiled, pat your head and went back to sleep

Diavolo

Never expected such a young person to be the new exchange student but he welcomed you with open arms either way

He found it interesting how you didn’t fear any of them at first glance so visited you often to check up on you

Eventually Diavolo visited every day, asking you about RAD and life in the Devildom and even brought you cakes that Barbatos made sometimes

He became a dad figure to you, protecting you and giving you special Prince privileges like allowing you to come over any time you liked

Couldn’t stand the days you came over with a frown on your face from having a bad day at RAD and made sure you were totally comfortable and happy by his side for the rest of the day

It was always a pleasure to see you come over with Barbatos by your side and smile so widely when you see him, it made his heart ache

He may’ve gotten too excited when you first hugged him and squeezed you a bit too hard. The man hasn’t hugged anyone in a while though so can you blame him?

Barbatos

Never expected a human this young to pop out of the portal

But like everybody else, he accepted you as part of the Devildom now and was the very first person to send you a welcome text

He slowly began to become interested in you and visited from time to time; bringing round treats that he’d made at the castle

Schedules little cooking days with you and Luke and loves how you both help him in the kitchen and adores how much you smile when you apply icing to your cakes

Becomes the person you go to when you have something on your mind and he normally drops everything when you come to visit just so he can talk to you

Seeing you sad makes him sad too, so he helps you as best as he can, no matter what he was previously doing. You’re what’s most important right now

Hugs aren’t particularly his thing but a hug from you always makes his day so much better

Simeon

Another child? He’s sorta glad it’s not him who has to look after you since he already has Luke

Well in the end, he sorta does mainly look after you after the amount of times you visit him unannounced

He’s without a doubt the sweet and accepting dad figure to you as he always listens and he understands and he always knows how to cheer you up

You won’t be sad for long with him by your side, he’s just got that vibe about him. It’s imposible to stay upset

Takes you to little cafés when you’re sad and likes to join you and Luke when you’re cooking with Barbatos

Gets emotional when he sees you grow to become apart of every ones life and become so at home and attached to everyone around you

He’ll never forget that first hug you gave him, it reminds him of when Luke gives him one when he gets lonely so he loved every second of it

Solomon

Started to tease you straight away. It can’t be helped when you’re almost the same size as Luke

Never expected to get so close to you and now he’s willingly to protect you with his life. Crazy

You can’t stay sad when he’s around, it’s not possible. He knows exactly how to cheer you up and doesn’t stop until he sees that frown of yours disappear

Comes to visit you once in a while when he has time just to cause trouble around the house and piss off the brothers and chat with you and Asmo

Now Solomon is the definition of cool uncle. He’ll show you shit that’ll make your day, bring you gifts and stupid unnecessary items and just make you laugh so hard that your stomach will hurt

Still teases you from time to time and you become his arm rest for the rest of the year, but on the plus side, he teleports you to the human world to get icecream

Never thought he’d see the day where he’d get a hug, especially from you, so he made it last as long as he could. It felt nice to be appreciated

Luke

Unsurprisingly, you two got along straight away, I mean, two short people in the Devildom gotta stick together, right?

Pretty much began to live at eachothers house with the amount of times you two would visit

Protects you from the demons at least twice a day and tries his best to swat away Solomon and Mammon from leaning on your head

Becomes your new younger brother and he’ll do anything to keep you safe as well as happy and laughing

His heart hurt when he sees his new friend sad, so he asks Simeon if he could take the two of you to get your favourite treats and he’s relieved when he sees you smile again

His favourite days are when you two bake cakes with Barbatos, he likes hanging around with you because you make everything more fun

Couldn’t believe it when you hugged him for the first time and couldn’t help hugging you tighter so it was like watching two little kids see eachother for the first time in months

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

in which harry joins a new gym and you’re a trainer there.

a/n: happy new years loves! wishing you all a lovely and happy 2021! first fic of 2021 and im so excited to write more stories this year! to start the new year, here is boxer!harry for you, and this is for my very own timetravelathon fic challenge! if you’d like to join, please let me know, I’d love to have you on board! this story takes place in the 1990, and i know some of the songs mentioned weren’t released specifically in 1990 (just a few years after), but just pretend it was lol because they’re too good to not mention in this story hehe, but happy reading and pls reblog and leave feedback <3

thank you to @sunflowers-styles for beta reading this for me, love you always!

WORD COUNT: 22.6k of (kinda) boxer!harry x trainer!yn filled with angst and smut

WARNINGS: mentions of abandonment and blood 

COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALK ABOUT ‘143’ i’d love to know your thoughts!

pls rb to share! <3

16 August 1990

With every move he made, Harry felt a bead of sweat drip down the side of his face, down his back, and trailing down his chest. Small huffs of breath were released from his mouth, trying not to make it known that he was exhausted, but he continued until all of his energy was used up through the very end. 

“C’mon,” he muttered to himself, anticipating the certain words to be yelled out. 

He’d been going at it for a while now, muscles aching as he felt like he was about to collapse any minute. But he was determined to finish, to feel the satisfaction running through his veins, knowing that this was his best round. 

“And time!” His trainer yelled at him, clicking the stop button on his timer. 

Harry got in one last punch before putting his arms down, the soreness made his limbs feel like jello as he shook them out. The black leather punching bag was swinging back and forth, the chain that held up the speed bag rattled and slid against the metal bar. Harry loved that sound because it indicated that he was going his hardest to where the chain couldn’t keep up. 

“Nice one, kid.” Henson, his trainer said as he fist-bumped Harry’s red glove. 

Harry simply nodded in appreciation, too exhausted to speak as he placed his gloves onto his knees, leaning down as beads of sweat dripped down onto the matted floor. Several harsh breaths came out of his mouth as he sniffed in the fresh oxygen that was mixed with the musky scent of the gym. 

Benny, Harry’s best friend, exited the ring, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his arm before walking towards Harry, who was still leaning on his knees. Benny tapped Harry’s glove, making him stand up straighter, and Harry patted Benny’s back. 

“Good job out there, mate,” Harry told his best friend. Benny was in the ring with one of the other trainers, Mike, doing one of the nonstop routines. Harry liked training with Mike in the ring, but not when it was for cardio and timed rounds; he liked when it was chill, so he knew how hard he had to hit the target, which were the pads. But for the timed rounds they did, Harry was usually by the speed bags and Mike was in the ring. 

“You too, man,” Benny breathed out with a smile. 

They headed over to the bench to take their gloves off and catch a breather. The pair would do a  cardio day every Thursday to get a good, sweaty workout in, and it always left them exhausted, but definitely much stronger. 

“Hey, I’m not gonna be able to workout next Thursday,” Benny mentioned. Harry furrowed his brows as he put the end of the strap between his teeth to pull it off from the velcro, taking one glove off. 

“What? Why not?” Harry asked confusingly. They never really had to call off a workout, especially Thursdays, unless one of them was sick, but other than that, neither of them missed any workout days. 

“I’m taking the wife on a date,” Benny smirked, clearly very excited to spend some time with his wife, but Harry wasn’t amused. 

“On a Thursday? Why can’t you do that on Friday?” 

Benny rolled his eyes. “Because we both called off Friday, so we’re having a four day weekend to ourselves,” he explained. 

Harry huffed, clearly not entertained. “Guess so…” 

Benny knew Harry was always like this, ever since they were younger. The two had been so close ever since they met, now that Benny had a wife, Harry always felt like the third wheel and that he rarely saw Benny, however, that wasn’t entirely true Benny exercised with Harry every night during the weekdays, and sometimes they even grabbed a bite to eat afterward when Benny could use that time to be with his wife, Marianne. 

Harry had an overwhelming fear of abandonment, it led him to have anxieties about how Benny could just get up and walk out of his life, even though he wouldn’t. Maybe it was why Harry is so attached to him; he’s the closest to Harry and it would completely destroy him if Benny ever decided that he didn’t want to be his friend anymore. That fear only grew based on an unfortunate turn of events that happened in college, four years ago, and it left Harry to pieces. Benny had never seen Harry so broken where he literally had to pick him up and take care of him. He never wanted to see his best friend like that ever again because it absolutely crushed him. 

“It’s two days that we’re not going to be seeing each other, chill out. Didn’t know you were that in love with me,” Benny joked, hoping to lighten up Harry’s mood. Luckily, it worked because Harry breathed out a chuckle, throwing his towel at Benny’s face.

The two collected their belongings and walked over to the trainers as they always do at the end of every workout to have a light chat with them. Henson and Mike told them they did a great job and asked to confirm if they were still on for tomorrow, which Benny and Harry both agreed to. Benny also mentioned about not being able to work out next Thursday and Friday, including the reason why he wasn’t able to. 

Henson and Mike looked at each other as if they were keeping something from the two. Harry titled his head  and looked at Benny as if he was asking if he knew the reason why they were looking at each other weirdly, but Benny just shrugged his shoulders, just as clueless as Harry. 

“Are you gonna tell us why you’re acting suspiciously?” Harry asked. The two trainers both sighed defeatedly. 

“About that…” Henson started. “Next Friday…we’re closing,” he added. 

“Like, closing for the day?” Benny asked innocently, hoping they didn’t mean what he really thought. 

“No…for good,” Mike stated. Harry and Benny’s eyes both widened, words coming out of both of their mouths profusely. They were both talking over each other, disagreeing and not accepting the fact that the gym was shutting down. 

“You can’t just do that-”

“-No, we refuse to let you close down-”

“Alright, guys! Settle down. You’re starting to act like kids, for god's sake,” Henson interrupted the tantrum that was about to start. 

“You guys can’t just do that!” Benny exclaimed. 

“Why are you guys even doing that?” Harry asked. 

Mike sighed. “We mutually decided that it was best to close down because…we really need the money. My rent has been skyrocketing crazy high because more people have just decided that moving to Los Angeles is fun.” He rolled his eyes, and Harry slightly chuckled because it was true. Hollywood was the place to be and people from out of state had just figured out their new profound dream to move to one of the busiest cities. 

“Fight Night will never be forgotten, alright? We’re just ready to let this place go. Plus, the roof is leaking and the wall is tearing apart, and that’s gonna be a pain to fix,” Henson added. 

Mike and Henson were brothers and built Fight Night when they were in college. With the help of their father, they decided to build a place to gain strength and power, all while helping others defend themselves. Harry and Benny had been frequenting it ever since college, and it felt like home to them. Aside from the yelling and stuffy scent, it was a place for them to release any type of anger or stress.

Benny introduced Fight Night to Harry when he had physically picked Harry up from the ground on, what possibly was, the worst night of his life. It was something Harry looked forward to after classes, anxiously bouncing his leg up and down, waiting to get to the gym. Fight Night helped rebuild him, and now, he was in disbelief that the gym was closing. 

“We’re old as fuck now. We wanna live our lives freely. Time to retire now, don’t you think?” Mike said with a sad chuckle. They were both in their late fifties, so Harry and Benny understood why they wanted to be free of work. 

The four of them hugged it out, a very emotional and sentimental hug that was heartwarming but sad. Eyes were slightly watered before Henson pushed them and said, “We’re closing the gym next week, not fucking dying! We have time for this bullshit for an entire week.” 

Harry and Benny left the gym with bittersweet hearts, but they kept Fight Night close to them, knowing that they owed a lot to the gym and the two men who built the facility. Mike had recommended some gyms that were close by if they were still interested in boxing, which they definitely were, so they were planning to check them out first before signing up. 

“Do you wanna get something to eat?” Harry asked once they were outside of the gym. The air was humid, nothing different from inside the gym since it was summer and the sun was beginning to go down. 

“Nah, I’m good. Gonna get home to Marianne. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Benny pat Harry’s back, nodding. 

Harry waved. “See you.” He watched Benny walk away before getting into his silver 1990 BMW 5 series, sighing. He always hated going home, and he always tried staying out for as long as he possibly could. 

As he drove home, he anxiously tapped his hands on the steering wheel as he couldn’t quite keep them still. It’d been happening for a while, a lot more often than he’d like, but he couldn’t help it. 

Walking into the darkness and emptiness of his home, he sighed sadly as he sulked all the way to the restroom to shower. The hot steam relieved his achy and sore muscles, but he was hoping for this shower to also release any occurring and bad thoughts he had in his head. 

He couldn’t help but think about the gym closing down. After going there for years, he couldn’t imagine going to a new gym; he’d adapted and adjusted to Fight Night that it would take him forever to find a gym that truly made him feel wanted. He was scared, to say the least. 

Harry was never a big fan of change. He liked being comfortable and stable and didn't like to move around a lot. So, the thought of going to a different gym that wasn’t Fight Night, terrified him. It only added to the list of things that had abandoned him. 

Once he was out of the shower, white towel secured lowly on his hips, showcasing his beautiful toned torso that was filled and inked with tattoos, his pager beeped. He wondered who it was as he walked over to his nightstand, considering that it was nearing nine in the evening. 

He deeply sighed when he saw the pager read ‘345987,’ immediately knowing who it was. The pager code meaning ‘I’m horny’ could only mean it’s coming from Lizette. 

Deciding not to answer the page, Harry set his pager down before walking back to the restroom, only for his home phone to ring, causing him to stop in his steps and answer the phone. 

“Hello?” Harry answered. 

“Hey, baby,” Lizette said seductively. His brows furrowed, holding the towel to his waist as it had loosened up a bit. 

“What do you want?” 

“You know what I want…” He knew exactly what she wanted. If she hadn’t paged him, he would still know what she wanted from him since all he provided to her was sex. “Isn’t it such a coincidence that I’m outside of your door right now?” Harry didn’t say anything but pinch the bridge of his nose before hanging up. 

He walked towards his front door, sighing before opening the door that revealed Lizette on the other side, wearing a low cut top, cleavage clearly showing, and high waisted denim shorts. She leaned on the doorframe, smirking as she looked Harry up and down, noticing that he wasn’t wearing anything but a towel. Harry gulped as she stepped forward, placing her hands on his stomach before completely taking the towel off, and a smug smile plastered on her face. 

Harry lets her take over like he always did. The feel of someone else’s body holding his, and lips kissing his own and his skin was something he couldn’t compare to anything else. Harry simply only did this to have some companionship, and Lizette made him feel a lot less lonely even if she was only there to have sex with him. He enjoys it twenty-five percent of the time—the other seventy-five percent was him actually wallowing in wanting someone to love him for him. 

After they were done, Harry immediately covered himself with the blanket as Lizette got out of the bed to change back into her clothes. Even though they had sex multiple times and she’s seen him naked, there was something about the vulnerability after the sex that he didn’t want her to see because she didn’t quite deserve that if he was being honest. 

“I had fun. Call you next time,” Lizette bid him goodbye before smacking a big kiss to his cheek, leaving a lipstick stain on his skin. She walked herself out, and once Harry heard the slam of the front door closing, he cringed slightly, wiping the lipstick off. 

He turned onto his side, deeply exhaling. He didn’t feel anything but numbness—it was always like this. He used sex to cope with how he felt, but it only made it worse. Honestly, he didn’t know what else to do, so it was the only thing he turned to, other than boxing. 

Harry fell asleep in his lonely room by himself. His heart was empty and felt like an isolated building that only carried his sadness. 

The entire week had gone by in a flash — Fight Night was officially closed down for good. 

Harry and Benny helped clean the space out as they reminisced and talked about the memories that were made in that gym. A lot of the stories had to do with girls walking by the gym, glancing through the window to see men working out, and then promptly walking into the gym to try and hit on the guys. 

Harry had tried convincing Henson that he could run the gym, but he shot down the idea before Harry could convince him. 

“Kid, look. If you want to run your own gym, do it. I want you to own a gym under your name. Not mine or Mike’s. You deserve to have something of your own, and whatever that may be, work for it. Work hard for it. I know you got it in you because you’re a hard worker, determined. You need to see that for yourself.” 

A conversation that was supposed to convince Henson to let Harry run the gym turned into a sentimental series of words that Harry really needed to hear. Harry didn’t say anything else and nodded as he took in Henson’s words to his heart. Henson was someone Harry looked up to. He was an old man with wise words, and everything he said was either meaningful or mean, in a way to show tough love. So, his words were something Harry lived by. 

The following Monday after Fight Night closed, Benny and Harry were on the search for their new gym. They didn’t plan on quitting the gym after their favorite one had closed down, and Henson and Mike made them swear they wouldn’t stop working out. 

Now, the two were walking into a gym that was up the same amount of time Fight Night was. ‘Don’s Box’ was what the gym was called. The building was newly reconstructed, making the place seem more modern and a little less dingy. The space was quite big, able to fit two rings, six punching bags spread throughout, eight-speed bags, and a weight rack. The walls were painted black, but the amount of natural light from the window was plentiful enough to make the gym feel bigger and brighter. 

A decent amount of people were at the gym, sectioned off with a few kids from eight to twelve on one side, and the rest of the adults on the other. There was a good mix between women and men, and everyone hyped everyone up with motivating words and claps over the music that was playing through two speakers that were hung in the corner. 

“Can I help you?” An older man with gray hair had asked the two. He looked quite intimidating; wearing nylon sweatpants and a black long-sleeved shirt that was rolled up to his elbows, showing his gold watch. The look he had on his face was stern as he crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. 

“Uh, yeah. We’re interested in joining your gym,” Benny told the man. The man looked the two up and down and scoffed. 

“Sure you guys are ready for that?” 

“We’ve been boxing for years, so yeah, we are.” Harry chimed in, a slightly defensive tone added to his words. 

The man glared at Harry, stepping towards him. Harry was slightly taller than him, but he knew the man could definitely take him at any given moment, but Harry wasn’t looking to fight the man, honestly. He wanted to act and look tough in front of him, so the guy wouldn’t give him any crap for it later down the road during his workouts. 

“Alright, alright. Take it easy, pa.” You interrupted, placing a hand on the man’s shoulders, making him turn his head. You raised your brows at him before tilting your head a bit, telling him to step back. The man backed off, giving Harry a snarly glance before huffing. 

“I’m just messing. Gotta know how tough my athletes are to be here,” he spoke in a lighter tone than he was to the man in front of him, putting his arm around you. 

“Thought you were gonna ‘stay on the sidelines’ and let me handle it?” You quoted your father’s words back to him, and he chuckled, putting his hands up, surrendering as he knew he couldn’t win against you. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll let you handle it.” Don, your father, quickly looked at Harry up and down, and you rolled your eyes, knowing he wouldn’t do anything to potential customers. He walked away and you breathed out a chuckle, scratching your head. 

“Sorry about that. You two are interested in joining?” You asked the two men in front of you. They were rather…attractive, you noticed. The one on the left was gorgeous with beautiful brown skin that looked so smooth. He was wearing a pair of red short-shorts and a white muscle tee. You noticed that he was wearing a wedding ring, so you averted your eyes off of him. The man next to him, however, was absolutely stunning. His left arm carried a sleeve-full of tattoos, and you wanted so badly to examine and look at every single one. With chocolate brown curls, his green eyes had a tad bit of a glimmer to them, not too much though, because if you were being honest, they were a bit dull, like he was exhausted and needed to let off some of the stress that he held based on how tense he looked. 

You tried not to observe and think about it too much as your ability to read individuals thrived while meeting new people. You shook it off the thought, not wanting to assume things about their lives and seem too creepy in front of new and potential members. 

“Yeah, we are. I’m Benny, by the way.” He shook your hand, smiling. 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N. I run this place.” You offered the same smile back. Your eyes looked over at his friend, and he gave you a soft smile. “Y/N,” you repeated, taking your hand out for him to shake. 

“I’m Harry. Harry Styles,” he introduced fully. A beautiful name for a beautiful man, you thought. He shook your hand as you felt the softness of his skin mixed with a tad bit of roughness from the callouses, probably from heavy-lifting. 

Something about Harry introducing his full name had made you a bit weak in the knees. His deep and accented voice had made you a bit flustered as chills ran up your body. You’re acting like a fool, your subconscious told you. You were never one to show your obvious attraction for men, you were more into watching them from the side. But once Harry walked in, it seemed like you didn’t know how to keep your chill. 

“Perfect. Nice to meet you both. Signing up shouldn’t be too long—don’t want to keep you two from working out.” You led the two men to one of the offices, knocking on the wooden door to greet Jamie. “Hi. These two are looking to sign up. Do you mind helping them out?” 

“Of course! Come on in, guys,” Jamie greeted them, offering them to take a seat along with some water, which they both said yes to. 

“I have to get back to my session, but you both are in great hands. Jamie is one of our best,” you told the two. You sent an innocent wink at Jamie, which he sent one back while Harry watched the entire interaction, feeling uneasy. 

It was quite obvious how attractive and pretty you were. The moment he first saw you, his breath had immediately hitched in his throat. You had the most gorgeous face he’d ever seen, and when you spoke, your voice was soft and gentle, making Harry a bit more safe in a place he’s new to. 

Jamie had gotten their details and credit card information down before asking them if they needed a tour of the place. They both had said no, seeing as things were pretty self-explanatory and they’d been to a boxing gym before. 

They headed out of Jamie’s office and to the main floor, walking over to the heavy bags since the section was less crowded to start stretching. Harry rolled his shoulders and neck around, swinging his arms forwards and backward as he looked around the gym. 

This was something he had to get used to—being in a new place, surrounded by new people. At Fight Night, he was around the same people for four years, and he was comfortable — he was fine with it. But now, he had to go through the same process all over again. Nerves and anxiety crept up his skin as he tried to jump around lightly, warming up a bit but also trying to shake off the unwanted feelings. 

“Hey, you okay?” Benny asked concerningly as he stretched. 

Harry’s brows raised, covering up his anxiousness. “Hmm, yeah, I am. Y’know, just a, uh, new place, that’s all,” he brushed him off. 

“Okay. Well, whenever you’re ready to go, just tell me,” Benny told him before going into his bag to grab the wrapping tape. 

Harry nodded, smiling in appreciation. Benny had always been a great friend to him, and Harry was a great friend to Benny as well. They always took each other’s feelings and concerns into consideration—always making sure the other is okay. They both really appreciated it because some friends weren’t lucky enough to talk about their feelings and be that vulnerable with one another. They trusted each other; they were like brothers. 

Harry grabbed his jump rope, deciding to do a little five-minute warm-up to get his heart rate going. He faced the boxing ring to the left of him, noticing that you were in the ring, so he decided to casually watch you box. He then noticed that you had boxing pads on instead of gloves, and the people you were training were the kids that he had seen earlier. 

He watched you instruct the excited kids who were prancing around with their boxing gloves on, in every color imagined. You helped them fix their form, their stance, and their punch; telling them that they had to be quick with their hit to bring their glove back to the side of their face quickly, so their opponent doesn’t have a chance to take a hit. The kids demonstrated for you, punching your right hand that was covered with the pad. You praised all of them, of course, correcting a few things, but overall, everyone was a natural fighter. 

Harry’s heart rate definitely started to pick up, and he didn’t know if it was how fast he was jumping rope or because of the flutter he felt as he watched you interact with the kids. He truly never felt this kind of feeling where his heart picked up from the simple act of looking at someone. 

You had definitely noticed Harry staring at you from your peripheral view, and you had thought it was a simple glance, but he never looked away. So, you took the opportunity to take a quick look at him while the kids were practicing. 

Your eyes met him and you sent him a small smile, along with a wave with your boxing pads. Harry’s eyes widened, realizing that you were waving at him, and what happened next had embarrassed him even more. With how fast he was jumping, he suddenly got tangled with the rope, causing him to trip against it. Luckily, he caught his fall, but he was already embarrassed enough. 

Harry’s heart completely dropped, cheeks flushed. He couldn’t believe he had made a complete fool of himself, especially at his new gym. He so badly wanted to tell Benny that he was ready to leave, but when he looked over at his friend, he had already started his workout, being so focused and in the zone that Harry didn’t want to be a burden. 

When he turned back around to see if you were still looking, he jolted back a bit as you were behind him. 

“Are you okay?” You asked concerningly. 

“Uh, yeah. I…yeah, I’m okay. Thanks.” He cleared his throat, trying to cover up the fact that his voice almost cracked. He was so stunned by you. The way you made sure he was okay was possibly the nicest thing someone had done for him as you looked at him with your sweet eyes, and your posture was giving him your full attention. His heart pounded through his chest; the simple action and effort that was being put into this was making him overwhelmed. 

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything, yeah?” You told him as you looked at him intently. He simply nodded, knowing that he couldn’t process any more words. 

You gave him one last smile before quickly going back to your students. He watched you climb into the ring so effortlessly before continuing your training class. 

Harry took a deep breath before walking over to one of the speed bags that was in the corner, hoping to hide away from the embarrassment that he felt. Wrapping his hands up, he anxiously scanned the room, noticing that everyone was doing their own thing. There was a possibility that no one else had seen him almost fall on his face, except you, which he really wished that it was the entire gym who saw him instead, not you. He lazily hit the speed bag, trying to warm up and shake off his mortification. Harry continued hitting the bag, eventually getting into a rhythm as his fists alternated between one another, along with the rhythm of the music of Montrell Jordan’s ‘This Is How We Do It.’ 

Soon enough, all the worry and stress that was in Harry’s head and body was shaken off and completely forgotten about as he focused on his strong punches, making sure to connect his mind to his muscles, so he could feel his muscles working. 

And for the time being, life wasn’t all that bad. 

A month had passed since being at Don’s Box, and Harry and Benny quite liked it. They had newer equipment and their music was always on point, playing the best of 90s R&B and Hip-Hop. It was their favorite music to listen to, especially while working out. The people there were nice and cool, never getting in each other’s way and letting everyone do their own thing while still having fun, keeping the space safe and comfortable. 

Harry found himself walking into the gym at nine at night, an hour and a half before it closed. Usually, he wouldn’t work out this late, but during the day, he had felt so unmotivated and lazy to even get out of bed. He could put the blame on Lizette because she had gone to his house the night prior, doing the same thing they always do, but he knew she wasn’t the one to blame. Something about saying no to her and having her not talk to him had physically pained him. They were in a specific arrangement, he knew that. But having someone leave him again was something he couldn’t go through. 

‘What’s Luv?’ by Fat Joe, Ja Rule, and Ashanti was playing when he set his bag down onto the ground against the wall, next to the heavy bag. He started to stretch as he took a look around; not many people were working out at this time, which he liked. 

His eyes continued to search the gym, in hopes he would find you still here. Before the slightest bit of disappointment could settle, he saw you walk out of the hallway with Jamie, smiling and laughing at something he had said. He made a face as a hint of jealousy rushed through as he saw you with Jamie. He knew that there was no point in being jealous because he barely even knew you. But for the past month that he’s been at Don’s Box, you always had this look of excitement on your face when you saw and greeted Harry. It made his stomach flutter every time you would flash him your beautiful smile as you would carry the conversation, asking him about his day and if the music was good, which he commends you for putting his favorite songs on. 

Looking away, he decided to just focus on the quick workout he could get in before the gym closed, so he retained his attention back to stretching before bending down to grab the tape from his bag to wrap his hands. 

“Uh, hi, Harry,” you smiled as you greeted him. He looked up at you. The way the light was positioned behind your head made you look like an actual angel; you were ethereal. 

He stood up and smiled softly. “Hi. How are you?” He asked, trying to contain his nerves from just looking at you. You were gorgeous, as you always are every day. You were wearing a pair of black leggings and a light pink t-shirt that was tied into a knot with the word ‘angel’ that was surrounded by wings printed in the middle. Kind of a coincidence, he thought, thinking back to when he called you an angel in his head. 

“Good, good. You’re here later than usual—without Benny too,” you pointed out, but immediately cursed at yourself for making such an odd observation and telling it to his face as if you were keeping track of the times he’s gone into the gym. 

“Yeah, I was pretty…tired during the day, so the only time I got a burst of energy was right now. And Benny is with his wife and in-laws tonight, so it’s just me tonight,” he explained with a soft chuckle. 

“Well, glad you got the chance to make it in,” you said genuinely. He simply nodded, not knowing what else to say but instead he captured himself into you as you stared at him with your captivating eyes that spoke right through him. What was happening to him? He thought. This hadn’t really happened before, and he was good at letting his walls go up and guarding his precious heart. 

“Hey, I’m gonna head out,” Jamie said, greeting you goodbye, and taking Harry out of his thoughts. “Hey, man. Have a good workout.” He shook Harry’s hand, and Harry smiled, nodding. 

“See you tomorrow,” you told Jamie, smiling a bit as you waved. Jamie left the gym, and it was just you and Harry, along with a few other people who were wrapping up their workout. 

“Are you not gonna go with him?” Harry asked, and you raised your brows in confusion. 

“Why would I go with him?” You wondered. 

“Oh, I just thought you would leave with him, y’know, your boyfriend…” he trailed off, slyly slipping in the word boyfriend in that sentence. 

You giggled, shaking your head. “No, no. Jamie isn't my boyfriend. I’ve known him since I was ten, but nothing’s ever happened between us. Besides, he has a boyfriend of his own.” Harry raised his brows in shock as his shoulders visibly relaxed. “No need to worry, Harry. I’m all yours,” you flirted a bit. You normally wouldn’t flirt so easily with someone, especially if they were a member of your gym, but something about Harry had made you release all the stress you had once you saw and talked to him. 

Harry blushed, grinning as his dimple popped out on his cheek. Your eyes lightened once you noticed that feature, making you think that he was ten times cuter than he already is. 

“You’ve been in the ring, right?” You asked curiously. Harry nodded, and the corner of your lips turned up. “Great! We have about a little less than an hour and a half, so if you’re looking for some intense cardio, I could do it with you—y’know, train you and guide you, and whatnot,” you suggested. 

If Harry’s being honest, he wasn’t planning on doing cardio today—just a few routines to get his muscles warm, but the way you’re looking at him and how you spoke to him so softly and effortlessly, he couldn’t say no. 

“Yeah, I’m up for it,” he responded. Your eye brightened, resisting the urge to squeal from excitement, telling him that you were going to get the mitts and to meet you in the ring. He chuckled slightly as you walked over to the equipment room to get the mitts. Harry quickly hit the speed bag to warm up until he saw you walk out of the room. 

He put on his gray sweater and a green packers beanie, so he could sweat more before he met you in the ring with his gloves pressed between his arm and the side of his body. You put the mitts in between your legs as Harry handed you one of the gloves. Holding onto the end of it, he put his hand inside as you pushed the glove towards him, so it would sit on his hand tightly before strapping it securely for him before proceeding to the next one. The proximity between you two was quite close as you helped him put on the gloves, and you could smell the faint scent of cologne mixed with the slightest bit of sweat, giving him that unique musk; the one that doesn’t smell horrible at all but lured you in. 

You quickly snapped out of your thoughts and looked up at Harry. “Good?” He nodded, punching the gloves together to make sure they felt comfortable. “Ready?” 

“Let’s do this,” Harry said, skipping in place to warm his body up before getting into his stance. His left leg was a few feet away from his right leg as he bounced around a bit, waiting for you. 

You faintly smirked, nodding your head before you put on the mitts. Since Harry was very familiar with the mitt workouts, you figured that you didn’t need to explain what each number represented since mostly all trainers and coaches use the same numbers for the same punch. 

“Okay, let’s warm up a bit. Give me one,” you instructed. Harry put his gloves up to protect his face as you held your right mitt up. With his left hand, he punched your mitt, not giving his full strength. “Is that all you got?” You challenged, knowing that he had more power in him. 

“I-I don’t want to hurt you,” he said honestly with a small pout, standing straight from his boxing stance. Usually, you would take offense to that statement, barking back a comment saying that just because you were a girl it didn’t mean you couldn’t take a hit, but you didn’t go that far into it, knowing Harry didn’t mean it that way whatsoever. 

“You’re not gonna hurt me, Harry. I’ve trained so many people—all with different body types and strengths. My hand has felt all different types of power, so hit the mitt like you mean it.” You hit his shoulder, building up his motivation. He nodded, getting back into his stance as did you. “Now, give me one.” 

This time, Harry’s glove met your mitt with full potential and force, and you took the hit well—not moving back or being stunned. 

“There you go! Keep going,” you told him, and he continued giving you jabs. ‘In Da Club’ by 50 Cent was blaring through the speakers as Harry breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth. Several huffs of breath came out loudly as he punched, moving and dancing around the ring with you as the two of you occasionally shifted and switched positions. 

Harry got in a few more punches before you switched it up, telling him, “1-2.” Harry jabbed with his left hand and crossed jabbed with his right hand, putting his full range of motion into his right punch. He did that combination five times as he started to feel sweat dripping down his back and the sides of his forehead. 

You were yelling out words of encouragement and motivation, praising him for his punches, to which he responded back with a better and solid punch to your mitts. 

“Nice!” You took a step back to move around the ring to take advantage of the space as Harry jumped and skipped around to wherever you directed him to. “Wanna take a break?” You asked. He shook his head no, determined to finish this workout that he couldn’t even think about wanting to take a break because he really didn’t want to. “Okay, 1-4-3,” you told him. With force, he jabbed, hooked with his left hand, and hooked with his right hand. 

This feeling that he had felt—being in the ring with you—was something entirely different than when he was in the ring with Henson or Mike. The stress that he physically carried onto his shoulder had washed away into nothingness, leaving him with a drive that didn’t include overthinking and fear. The fear that had left him worried and depressed, that his life would amount to nothing—that fear disappeared inside him once he threw the first punch. It was exhilarating and fun, and he didn’t know he could have this much fun in the ring. But this was the most pleasure he’s ever felt while boxing. 

You ordered him to do some different combinations, such as ‘1-2-3-5,’ which was a jab, cross jab, leading hook, and rear uppercut. You also included moments when he had to duck because you were swinging at him. He definitely had gotten into a rhythm, punching and moving faster. You were the trainer, the person that was supposed to instruct him, but you matched his rhythm and energy and moved quicker with him as well. 

You were starting to get a sweat in as well, and that was mostly because of the adrenaline rushing through your blood as you moved excitedly around the ring. 

After a while, a timer had gone off, telling you that it was time to close up as Harry’s focus was cut off—the sound making him look up hastily. Throughout the time you were working out with Harry, people were slowly starting to make their way out, but the two of you were too focused on working out that you hadn’t even noticed that it was just the two of you left in the gym. 

“Oh, guess we’re closing.” You stood up straighter, wiping the sweat on your forehead with your forearm. “Feelin’ good?” You asked Harry with a proud smile. 

“Feelin’ great,” he smirked. 

“Good, I’m glad. You did great!” You complimented, ripping the velcro strap with your teeth as you took off the mitts. Harry did the same, shaking out his arms as he clenched and unclenched his fists to relieve the ache from making a fist for more than an hour. 

“Thank you. You’re a really great trainer, by the way. This was…the first time I had fun in the ring,” he told you honestly, and without knowing, the slightest bit of him had opened up to you. 

Your eyes brightened, a glimpse of shimmer reflected on your eyes. “Really? Thank you, that makes me really happy, actually.” You felt like you were going to cry on the spot. No one, except your younger students, had ever told you that they had fun in the ring since most people used boxing as a way to get stronger and improve their punches. But fun? That was the first, and you would definitely keep that with you forever. 

You and Harry walked to one end of the ring as Harry held open the top two ropes with his hand as he stepped on the bottom two ropes with his foot, holding it open for you to get out. You blushed, thanking him before you got out of the ring as he followed you out. 

Once you two were on the ground, you turned around to face him. You watched as he took off his beanie, shaking his hair out as they bounced; curls were now formed into waves because of the heat and the sweat that had produced in his beanie. He looked…extra good right now. With his cheeks flushed, hair messy, and sweat dripping down his forehead, you couldn’t put into words how incredibly sexy he looked. 

You cleared your throat, not wanting to get caught for ogling him. “I, uh, have to check on some things before closing. Take your time! And I’ll see you on Monday?” You raised your brows and curled your lips in as you looked up at him. A sense of flustered-ness settled in you as you waited for his answer. 

He breathed out a chuckle as he looked down briefly before looking back into your eyes again. “Yeah, I’ll see you.” You nodded your head, waving at him before you headed over to the office. Harry smiled as he watched you walk into the hallway until he couldn’t see you anymore. 

A small blush formed onto his cheeks as he contained himself from smiling too big and too wide. He put all of his stuff back into his bag, grabbing his towel, ridding the sweat off his skin. Grabbing his belongings, he took another glance at the hallway, hoping to get another look at you before he took off, but you were occupied with closing the gym, so he didn’t bother staying any longer. 

With a small smile on his face, he walked out of the gym, taking in this new profound feeling that he’d never felt before, hoping this feeling would last. 

The next morning, Harry had a sudden urge to go back to the gym. His upper body was quite sore, but he figured he could do some leg exercises to balance the soreness he felt. He normally wouldn’t workout on the weekends since those were his rest days, but despite being sore, he didn’t feel tired. It could also do with the fact that he wanted to see you again, not wanting to wait until Monday to do that again. 

When he walked into the gym, ‘Ride Wit Me’ by Nelly was playing and his head slightly bopped to the music, walking over to the corner of the gym to warm up. He scanned the gym, looking for a particular person, but couldn’t find you. There were a decent amount of people, not too crowded or too little, so it should’ve been easy to find you. Thinking that you were probably in your office, he shook off the slight disappointment and got ready to workout. 

Throughout his workout, his head wasn’t in it. He kept glancing through the mirror to see if you had shown up, but you hadn’t. His eyes were always looking over at the front door every time someone would walk in, but a small frown settled onto his face when he realized it wasn’t you. 

He wrapped up his workout an hour later, thinking that he somewhat still got a good workout in. He walked out of the gym, saying bye to some of the guys that had caught him before he left. 

It was nearing noon when his stomach had growled, urging him to consume some food. There was a Mediterranean hole-in-the-wall restaurant right across Don’s Box, and his mouth watered at the thought of it. He walked to his car that was parked on the side of the street to drop his bag off before walking across the street to the restaurant. 

He scanned the menu, standing on the side since he didn’t know what he was ordering yet. The sound of the door ringing and a voice that was speaking to him brought him out of his thoughts. 

“Are you in line?” Harry turned his head towards the voice, and his heart nearly beating ten times faster when he saw you. He had a shocked expression on his face, not expecting to see you, especially when you were wearing the complete opposite of what he normally sees you in. You were wearing a pair of blue denim overalls with a black t-shirt underneath, along with white Reebok sneakers. You had a bit of makeup on; an orange sparkly eyeshadow look with some mascara that made your eyelashes look full and natural. Your lips were painted in a red-orange lipstick stain, bringing out more of your natural lip color. 

The beauty that Harry’s eyes were blessed with made his knees weak, sending shivers to his skin. Your angelic appearance had struck him so hard that he was sure he would see the light of day, hoping to meet you up there since you were a real-life angel. 

“Y/N…hi,” he managed to spit out. 

“Hi, Harry. Did you just workout?” You asked. 

He nodded, feeling a bit nervous. “Uh, yeah, I did.” 

“You don’t usually go in on Saturdays…” you noticed, only seeing him during the weekdays. You’re off on Saturdays, but there was one Saturday that you had gone into the gym briefly, and you didn’t see him there. 

“Yeah, I felt like going in today,” he said, obviously leaving out the part that he only went to the gym to see you again, but you didn’t need to know that bit. There was a moment of silence between you two until Harry remembered that he was probably holding up the line for you. “Oh, you could go ahead. I’m not ready to order yet.” 

You smiled, nodding your head as you stepped forward in the line. “Have you ever been here before?” 

“No, I haven’t. Do you have any suggestions?” 

You slightly squinted your eyes at him. “Do you trust me?” You asked. 

That was a difficult question for him, and somewhat vague. Did you mean overall, at the moment, or for his food order? Either way, he nodded because he knew that it didn’t matter what you meant--he had this sense of security with you that he would trust you with his life, and that said a lot, considering that he’d only known you for a month. 

“Yeah, I do trust you,” he stated honestly. 

His words brought a grin to your face, looking at him appreciatively. Based on your observations of him, you noticed that he was a bit closed off; he didn’t open himself up, and if he did, it took a lot in him to do just that. So, hearing him tell you that he trusts you made you grateful, and you would never do anything to take advantage of that trust because he didn’t just give it out easily. 

“I got you,” you simply said before turning back around towards the cashier. Harry softly smirked as he took a step forward to stand next to you. You looked at him, flashing him a toothy grin before quickly facing forward. 

You ordered your favorite dish from the restaurant, which was a beef kabab plate, for the both of you. Harry quickly got his wallet out, offering to pay, but you told him that you got it this time, hoping your words conveyed that you wanted there to be a next time. He shyly thanked you for the lunch, keeping your words in mind because he would definitely be up for a ‘next time.’ 

Luckily, you didn’t have to wait long for your order to come out, which was fortunate for Harry because he was starving. You suggested eating outside since it was a beautiful day out and Harry agreed, following you out of the restaurant. 

You two sat on the metal chairs, digging into your dishes. Harry’s mouth watered as he ate, his stomach being satisfied. There was a comfortable silence that settled between you two, only making small conversation when you asked if he liked the food, which you were glad to hear that he loved. 

“So, how long have you been running Don’s Box?” He suddenly asked, wanting to get to know you better. 

You raised your brows at his question. “For about two years now. My father, Don, opened the gym when he was twenty-five, that’s when he had me as well. But when he opened the gym, it practically changed his life. He’d boxed all of his life, and he was happy training other people when he started getting more people to come into his gym. When I was about six, he told me that he wanted me to run the gym when I turned twenty-five, only if I wanted to. But of course, I did. I looked up to him all of my life, and the gym made me happy as well,” you explained, smiling at the memory of when you were younger, being excited to turn twenty-five to do the same thing your father did. 

A soft smile appeared on Harry’s face as you reminisce on the memory. 

“How long have you been boxing?” 

“Since I was eight. Don showed me the ropes when I told him I was ready. There used to be a seating area on the side of the ring because when I was younger, I used to sit there and watch him work and train people. So, I was pretty interested and intrigued about fighting to get myself stronger, even at the young age of eight,” you chuckled. 

You were a daddy’s girl, always had been since you were born. Don had always set a pretty amazing example of how you should go about living your life. He would always say ‘Live your life with a strong punch. Keep your head up, and don’t let anything get to you because you’re so much more than what other people say. But if you need to cry, you can—there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.’ 

As your eyes watered from the thought of your father’s words, Harry watched as you got emotional and he couldn’t help but think that you’ve crossed a line in asking too many questions. 

“Sorry, I always get emotional-”

“I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped—I should’ve kept the questions to myself-”

“Oh, no! You didn’t overstep whatsoever. I’m glad you asked me those questions, I just get soft and emotional over my dad, so hence, I’m tearing up,” you let out a somewhat pathetic chuckle as you couldn’t believe that you almost cried in front of this gorgeous man. You dabbed the corners of your eyes with your napkin, stopping the tears from falling out. 

Harry nodded understandingly, waiting for you to regroup yourself. You kept apologizing, but he kept telling you that you had nothing to be sorry for. 

“Really, if you need to cry, you can…” he told you. Your eyes widened; you were just thinking about your dad’s words two minutes ago, and for Harry to say the exact same thing Don had always told you without even knowing that Don had said those words. 

Not wanting to cry in front of him, you simply nodded your head, holding the napkin on the outer corner of your eye, so the napkin would catch your tears. 

Harry quickly changed the subject, sensing that you needed it, and you really did, so you were grateful for that. He busied himself by telling you what his favorite ice cream flavor was since he was suddenly reminded that there was a shop just down the street. He kept you occupied by talking about all the sweet treats that he used to eat with his mom back home, and how much he missed walking down the streets in the city to eat some ice cream. 

“My mum used to make this really great chocolate mousse pie, and we would eat it every weekend. It was extremely sweet, but it was delicious. I really miss it…” he told you. That had been a while ago, but it was like he could still taste the dessert as if he just ate it yesterday. 

“Is your mom back home in England?” You asked, figuring that there wasn’t any harm in asking to get to know him since he asked you some questions as well. 

“Uh…actually, I don’t know where she is…” he said honestly, and you knitted your brows in confusion. “I mean, honestly. I don’t know where she is. Ever since I went to uni, she’s been all over the place, taking vacations and barely calling. I-I feel like she’s forgotten about me,” he spoke ever so softly as he was fragile. 

You listened to him intently, giving him your full attention as he was opening up a part of his life that you knew he doesn’t tell a lot of people. A part of him that he’s kept in for so long and just the passing sense of relief he felt saying those words and speaking up about this subject had made him feel so much better. 

“I’m sure she didn’t forget about you.” 

“Seemed like it. We inherited my grandfather’s will—left us a generous amount for each of us that’ll take care of us for the rest of our lives. And she took that and ran with it. I mean, I get it—she wants to live her life, and now’s the time to do that because she’s got the money for it, but I feel…abandoned. She got up, said goodbye, and just…left. It just makes me think that I’m not good enough—that I wasn’t good enough to stay.” Harry opened a can of worms that he can’t take back anymore. But the trust that he had in you already made him want to talk about everything with you; to open up about all of his stresses and insecurities. 

Boldly, you reached your arm across the table but immediately pulled away because you didn’t want to touch him without asking. But before you could open your mouth and ask, Harry had reached forward, meeting your hand halfway as his palm was facing up as if it was a way of saying ‘you can hold my hand if you want.’ Blushing, you reached forward again and took your hand into his. 

The touch was sweet and tender as you two held hands; the want to hold each other tighter was present, wanting to take away Harry’s pain. 

“Harry, you will always be good enough. I know we just met a month ago, but I already know that you’re the sweetest, kindest person. Please know that. You are enough, and I’m grateful that you’re here and that I’m sitting across from you, eating lunch,” you declared. Harry sniffled, not knowing what to say as he put his head down, so you continued. “For as long as we’re friends, I’m gonna stay.” You spoke with complete honesty as you caressed the back of his hand with your thumb. 

Harry’s head lifted up at your last statement in disbelief as if this was the first time someone had ever said that to him. 

“Really?” 

You squeezed his hand, making his heart flutter. “Yeah. As long as you want me to,” you reassured, nodding. 

Harry gave you a soft and appreciating smile as he took a deep breath. The breath that he held in throughout the entirety of the conversation was finally let out in relief. He shrunk back into his seat, still holding your hand as you continued rubbing it, and he breathed out a chuckle. It was an overwhelming feeling that was riddled with happiness and a sense of security washed over him. 

It was like he had been waiting for you; someone new that unexpectedly came into his life was scary because it was change, but it was a good change. A change for the better. He had been vulnerable enough to open himself up, and it all led to the tight bond and trust you two had with one another, sealing your friendship and relationship. 

And you both knew this moment was going to change everything. 

Time had passed by rather quickly as it was nearing the end of October. The weather was getting chillier as the sun was beginning to disappear behind the clouds earlier. There was something about the fall weather that Harry adored. It may have to do with the fact that the gloomy sky had occurred more often, or how he got to call it a night early. Whatever it may be, he liked it, or he used to. 

In recent times, he wanted the sun to stay out until it was time to go to bed. He wanted warm days instead of gloomy. His new changed attitude towards life had to do with you. 

You and Harry had been hanging out quite a lot; getting to know one another, getting a bite or drink, and working out together, it definitely gave Harry the chance to let go of his past. He was happier, smiled more, and laughed a lot which he didn’t know he was capable of doing those things again until he met you. 

Benny loved it, though. He sure cherished it because seeing his best friend happy again was something he was afraid he wouldn’t see again. But that didn’t stop him from having a little talk with you, trying to protect Harry and set you straight. 

When Harry was occupied with hitting the speed bag, Benny walked over to the ring, where you had just finished another class with your younger students. 

“Hey, Benny!” You greeted him once you saw him walk towards you. 

“Hey, do you mind chatting for a minute?” You raised your brows, nodding your head. Benny usually didn’t talk to you privately nor was it anything serious, but by the look on his face, it seemed pretty serious. “So, you’ve been hanging out with Harry a lot, hmm?” 

You smiled softly. “Yeah! Hope you don’t mind that? Know I’m taking your best friend and all…” 

“No, I don’t mind. I’m actually glad you are. He seems quite taken by you, and I haven’t seen him like that in a very long time,” Benny said honestly. You seemed to know where this conversation was going now, and now that you thought about it, you expected this from Benny because they were like brothers and Benny would do anything to protect Harry. “What I’m trying to say is…if you’re only hanging out with him to fuck with him, don’t bother. He’s been through enough, and I know he can’t handle anymore of that and I can’t stand to see him like that again.” 

“Like what?” You hesitatingly asked. 

“Like…just know that he was a mess. He couldn’t get up, eat, drink, shower, or anything. I had to physically help him. I don’t want to see him like that ever again.” Benny shook his head as if he was reliving the horrible nightmare that he went through a few years ago. 

“Is this about his mom?” 

“He told you that?” He asked, just to make sure, and you nodded. “Kind of. But that’s only half of it. He’ll tell you when he’s ready, but I’ve already said too much. Just…take care of him, okay? He tries to act tough sometimes, but he’s trying his best to not break down. Although, I haven’t seen that kind of look on him since he’s been hanging out with you, so you’re probably doing something right.” 

You nodded understandingly. “Thanks for talking to me. I don’t plan on breaking his heart at all, and I’m quite taken with him myself,” you admitted. 

“Good. I’m glad you are. He’s a great guy.” Benny smiled, and you agreed. 

Benny didn’t talk to you for much longer before he started getting cold from standing around, so he ended the conversation and went back to working out. 

Meanwhile, as you and Benny were talking, Don took the chance himself to talk to Harry, seeing as you were occupied. 

“Harry.” Don made himself present around him. 

Harry immediately stopped his workout, greeting your father. “What’s up, Don?” 

“So, I’ve noticed that you’ve been hanging around Y/N a lot.” Don’s stance changed as he crossed his arms, sporting a slight frown. Harry gulped; he always found Don to be quite intimidating, ever since he joined the gym, but Harry didn’t want to seem like he couldn’t have a serious conversation with the father of the woman that he’s slowly falling for--no, he couldn’t act like that. “What’s that all about?” Don added. 

“I’m just…we’re friends, so we’re just hanging out. Nothing more,” he told Don honestly. Although he would like there to be more, he didn’t know how you felt about him or if you even felt anything for him at all. 

Don nodded. He could tell that Harry was holding back on something he wanted to say, and he had an idea of what that was. So, he let loose of the intimidating and protective act, knowing that wasn’t really him anyway, and his expression softened as he uncrossed his arms. He placed a comforting hand on Harry’s shoulder, taking a deep breath. 

“You have this look of wanting to say more and you don’t have to tell me, but I will tell you this…if you want to date her and go out with her, you can. This isn’t approval and a ‘yes’ for you to take her out because I don’t need to do that--she can make her own decisions. All I’m saying is that if you want to, go for it. Life is too fuckin’ short to not do anything, to not say anything.” 

Harry’s shoulders relaxed and he smiled in appreciation at Don’s words. “Thanks, Don. I definitely want to take her out, but I just don’t know how she feels about me.” 

“Oh, I’m pretty sure she feels something for you--she hasn’t told me, but I just know. You’re the first guy in a while that she’s been hanging around with consistently, and that comforts me, in a way. Knowing that she’s living her life and not holding back anymore.” Harry stayed silent, taking his words in. He tried not to overanalyze what Don had said because you’ll tell him and open up to him when you want to, just like how you’re patiently waiting for Harry to open up fully as well. “Just…don’t break her heart, okay? She’s been through enough and I just want her to be happy.” 

Harry nodded understandingly, saying a soft ‘okay’ before Don changed the subject and talked about how  Harry should train with him one of these days, which Harry immediately said yes to and they planned for the following week to train. Don left him to finish his workout, telling him to have a nice night as you and Harry were going out to dinner. 

Benny and Harry finished up their workout, and before they were able to head out the front door, Harry stopped, telling Benny to give him a minute. Harry fast-walked towards you, lugging his bag on his shoulder. You were coming out of your office, which was why Harry couldn’t say goodbye to you after his workout. 

“Hey, we’re heading out,” he said, wiping the bit of sweat on the back of his neck with his towel. 

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you later?” 

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up,” Harry suggested, pursing his lips into his mouth as he contained his smile. You nodded, eyes sparkling as you looked up at him. “I’ll, uh, page you,” he slightly smirked. 

“Okay,” you mindlessly responded as you were getting quite lost in his green eyes that looked at you intently with a gleam that sat so perfectly against his irises, making his eyes glimmer brightly.

He gave you one last smile and a little wave before walking out of the gym with Benny. You were left stunned as you stood there, completely drifted away from reality as you were in a dream about Harry. You felt a small nudge on your shoulder, causing you to snap out of your thoughts and dream as you turned around to see your father laughing. 

“Get back to work.” A smug plastered on his face. 

A breathy chuckle was released from your mouth as a hint of embarrassment emerged onto your face with wide eyes. You got back to work, focusing your attention on training your next client, but your mind was racing at the thought of Harry. 

As he promised, Harry paged you when he was outside of your apartment complex. He wanted to knock on your door like the proper gentleman that he is, but the buzzer machine to let people in wasn’t working, so paging you would have to do for now. He waited for you outside of his newly washed car, making sure it was nice and clean for you as he leaned against the passenger door. 

You walked out of your building, and Harry was immediately blown away. You were wearing a black skirt with stockings that hugged your legs, and a white knitted sweater since it was on the chillier side. 

Every time he saw you, his heart would beat incredibly fast, pulse pounding through his veins. His stomach was in flits of butterflies, soaring in his heart and stomach, making him extremely nervous. Every time he saw you, everything would stop, like you were the only person in the world and everything was okay. 

“Hey, H,” you flashed him your smile, one that he looked forward to every time he saw you. 

“H-Hi,” he stuttered, clearing his throat to start over. “Hi. You look really nice.” 

You blushed. “Thank you! You look great as well. Love this top.” You reached forward, lightly tugging at his red-orange knitted long-sleeve. He paired it with blue jeans that flared at the bottom with white sneakers. His fingers were covered in beautiful silver rings, making his hands look quite gorgeous. 

“Thank you, shall we?” 

“Yeah, oh, I got you something.” You reached into your bag to take out the cased CD, and before Harry was about to protest, you handed it to him. “I made you this mixtape. Just some songs that I think you’ll like—I’m sure you know all of them, but they just made me think of you,” you said shyly. 

You weren’t normally shy and you would call yourself a pretty strong and confident person, but you had been so nervous to give this to him—even making the tape left you anxious and shaking. 

“Wow, this is…very thoughtful of you. Thank you so much.” Harry looked at the CD with the songs written in your handwriting. There were 10 songs, and Harry knew all of them. They were all…romantic songs. 

“That’s not weird, right? Y’know, making you a mixtape?” You asked unsurely. The odd feeling had popped into your mind at the last second as you watched Harry observe the CD, not giving a bad nor good reaction to your gift. 

“No, not at all! I really appreciate this. No one has ever made a mixtape for me before, so this is really nice and special. Thank you again.” He reached forward, wrapping one arm around your shoulders as both of your arms found their way around his waist. You somewhat weren’t convinced that he liked it, and he could tell just by how you were looking at him--looking for some more reassurance--that it seemed like he didn’t like it. When he pulled away, he looked at you before saying, “Really, it makes me happy that you took the time to make this for me. It’s so sweet and thoughtful of you, and I already love all the songs on here, so I’m one-hundred-percent going to enjoy this.” 

You nodded, smiling softly as he opened the door for you and you thanked him, blushing as you got in. It seemed very much like a date and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of that. 

Harry drove to the sandwich shop that waited for you both. It was twenty minutes away on the other side of the town, but Harry had been raving about it so much to you that you told him that you two should go, which Harry was more than happy to take you. 

The sound of Boyz II Men filled the speakers of Harry’s car as the two of you sang your hearts out to ‘On Bended Knees,’ putting full emotion and passion into singing. You held up your water bottle, pretending that it was a microphone, and Harry kept shifting his gaze on you, trying to keep his eyes on the road, but also wanting to look at you as you sang. He smiled to himself, absolutely loving how you were so carefree--something that he admired about you. 

His heart fluttered, curling his lips into his mouth before he did something that was quite bold of him to do. Reaching over, he grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers together. Your body was frozen, but you continued to sing, covering up the fact that Harry was holding your hand so casually. You were stiff as a board, so you tried loosening up, swaying your body from side to side, slightly averting your eyes towards him as he continued to drive. 

The moonlight cast through the car window, giving him a dim glow, accentuating his features; jawline prominent, his lashes shadowed down onto his cheeks, and his eyes were calm; the light reflecting against his glassy green eyes. Your heartbeat a million miles a minute as you looked at him. You had this appreciation and admiration for him--that you were lucky and grateful that you have him and that there was nothing more beautiful than the man sitting beside you. 

With your face on fire, you smiled as you carried on, singing with the warmth of Harry’s hand connected with yours. 

You were sitting across Harry, munching on your sandwich as you listened to him talk about how he wanted to actually find a job. He’s been sitting around, living quite wealthy as his inheritance sat safely. But he’d been getting bored. Every day was a routine for him and it was a pretty boring routine, he would say. The only places he really went to were the gym and the places that the two of you went together, but that was it. He needed a hobby, something that he could escape to that doesn’t require breaking a sweat from punching bags and mitts. 

“You said you like books, so maybe you could see if the bookstore down the street from the gym is hiring. That would be a nice little place to work at,” you suggested. 

Harry’s eyes lightened up, apart from thinking that was a great idea and the other part from being surprised that you remembered such a small detail about him when he’d talked about books briefly with you. 

“I should definitely do that, thank you. I love that bookstore, it’s-”

“Y/N?” Harry was interrupted by a man who had walked over to your table. Harry looked up, observing the guy as he was looking at you so intently. He quickly looked at you as you were looking up at the man with a shocked expression on your face, wide eyes and mouth slightly opened. 

“Uh, hi,” you said, feeling slightly uncomfortable. Your eyes glanced at Harry and he had a worried expression on his face, eyes asking if you were okay. You nodded softly, bringing your attention back to him. 

“I-I’ve been calling the gym and paging you, but you haven’t been answering any of them…” the man mentioned slyly. You were quite speechless, not expecting him to be here and not knowing what to say. 

“I, uh-”

“Can we talk right now?” He asked. You were flickering your eyes between Harry, someone that you were completely infatuated with, and the man that you were completely irritated with. But if you didn’t talk to him right now, he wouldn’t leave you alone and wouldn’t stop calling you, so you made the mistake of saying a soft ‘okay’ as you got up, looking over at Harry, giving a subtle smile. 

Just by the way he was looking at you, you knew you had regretted your decision and you wished that you hadn’t given in so easily. 

Once you were outside, you crossed your arms, in a way to seem reserved and closed off, but in reality, you really were. The uncomfortableness you felt was something you haven’t felt in a while as it felt like your stomach was boiling as bile salivated your mouth. Your fists were hidden underneath your arms, clenching, and your lips were curled into your mouth to immediately spew inappropriate sayings and vile remarks. 

“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, brows pinched together. 

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for quite a while now, but I just wanted to talk. I hate how we ended things…” he said remorsefully. You tried not to fall for the pouty look he was giving you as if he knew quite well you would fall for it. 

“It’s been six months, Max,” you reminded him. You and Max had an ugly breakup, and you had been picking up your own pieces yourself. You two had been together for nearly a year until he started to act differently. Noticing that he was going home late, staying at the bars until the early hours of the morning, and being quite rude and dismissive towards you, it ended in a screaming match where he ended up spitting out rude comments at you--calling you ugly, useless, and boring. It also caused him to confess that he was cheating on you for half the time you were together with him, and you thought that was a lie he made up just to make you angry, but a month after the breakup, you had found out that was true because you had accidentally bumped into the girl he was cheating on you with. At the time, you couldn’t blame him because the girl was absolutely gorgeous and seemed a lot of fun, but now, you know your worth and you absolutely didn’t deserve that whatsoever. 

For six months, you hadn’t seen him, but he had been leaving you countless calls to the gym phone. However, Max wouldn’t dare to step foot in the gym ever again because Don had clearly threatened him when he saw Max on the street, pinning him up against the brick wall by his shirt and yelling in his face that if he ever came close to you or the gym ever again, he wouldn’t see the end of the day. 

Don would’ve lost his shit if he saw Max in front of you. 

“This is pointless. I was fine living my life for the past six months without you. In fact, I haven’t even thought about you until you showed up. Couldn’t you see I was doing just fine? Why can’t you just leave me alone?” Your tone was scornful, not wanting to be in front of him anymore but instead the lovely man inside. 

“I just assumed you wanted some sort of closure��” 

“If I wanted closure, then I would’ve called you. But I don’t need closure. I was doing okay-” 

“With who? That man inside the restaurant?” He interrupted, brows raised. His demeanour suddenly changed just because you had given him the slightest bit of attitude. Max went from soft, wanting forgiveness to the Max that you saw last--completely offensive, rude, and a dickhead.  

“Yeah, his name is Harry, by the way. I was doing okay until you showed up!” You rolled your eyes, making your way back inside to Harry, who was waiting for you inside. 

Of course, Max wasn’t done until he got the last word, so he yelled out, “You know, whatever you’re doing with him, he’s gonna leave you; just like how I left you.” You slowly turned around, heart aching as his words had definitely done something this time. “You think Harry cares about you Y/N? Think again, he’s gonna leave you and you’re gonna be alone. You’re nothing, Y/N--not without me, at least. You aren’t worth anything, and you had to take over your dad’s gym to feel like you are. Stop fooling yourself.” 

Your eyes watered, trying your hardest not to let them slip from your eyes. You had already felt weak tearing up in front of him, so you couldn’t imagine what he would think if you bawled your eyes out. Suddenly, you heard the bell above the restaurant door chime. You didn’t bother turning around, but you somehow knew that it was Harry who was behind you. 

“Everything alright here?” Harry asked warily, eyes pointed towards you. 

“Yeah, man. See you, Y/N.” With that, he walked away, hopefully for good. Harry knew everything wasn’t alright with how you’re ready to burst into tears. As much as he wanted to follow him, force an answer out of him as to why you were in such distress, he was more worried about you. 

Standing in front of you, Harry placed an arm on your shoulder, his other hand held the brown paper bag that had both of your leftovers as he didn’t want to eat without you. Your body was tense, not because of Harry’s touch but because of the words that had taken such an effect on you, and you were doing everything to not break down in the middle of the sidewalk. 

“Hey, you okay?” Harry asked softly, bending down slightly to look you in the eyes. Your eyes were pointed down at the ground, thinking that if you looked Harry in the eyes, you were going to break. 

“Uh, c-can you take me to the gym, please?” You asked once you fully gained the courage to speak, but your voice was shaky. 

Harry immediately nodded. “Yeah, yeah, of course. Let’s go.” He put his arm around your shoulders and you comfortably nuzzled into his side as he guided you to his car. 

The drive back was silent—the complete opposite from the drive to the restaurant. Instead of happiness radiating out of your bodies, the space felt gloomy. Harry’s mind had spiraled as he drove, thinking about what that man could have possibly said to you. He was torn between wanting to be angry, but he was more concerned for you because you had never been this silent before. 

Once Harry was in front of the gym, you immediately got out before he was able to turn off the car. Using your keys, you unlocked the front door, turning off the alarm system before throwing your purse, not caring where it landed and rushed towards the heavy bags. 

This was where you let all your anger out. The place where you screamed at the top of your lungs with no care on who might hear you. This was your safe space, and if someone was going to judge you for utilizing your safe space, then they didn’t belong there. 

You screamed, punched, and kicked the heavy bag with full force as your tears had streamed down your face. Your heart was beating painfully with every scream you forced out of your body. Your punches were solid, making the bag swing back and forth, but your knuckles were starting to redden because you didn’t wrap your hands. 

Harry quickly followed you, a frown plastered on his face as he watched you let your anger out all on the heavy bag. He let you do your thing, watching from the sidelines before he waited for the right moment to cut in. 

“You. Fucking. Stupid. Piece. Of. Shit,” you yelled out with every punch. You sniffled, continuing to punch the bag, eyes glossy from your endless amount of tears. 

The friction from the leather and your bare skin was rubbing against each other, cutting and peeling open your skin. Your hands had numbed the pain, so you carried on with your punches until Harry had wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest and away from the heavy bag once he started to see redness and blood scattered onto your knuckles. You screamed, your body protesting, wanting to continue punching, but you knew you didn’t have any more energy. 

Turning around in his arms, your face was met with his chest, sobbing into his shirt. Harry’s hands soothed your back, comforting you as his heart ached from the sadness you radiated. Your bloody hands clutched his shirt as you cried, tears staining his shirt. Your whines and whimpers filled the empty gym, echoing back at you. 

Everything hurt—your heart, eyes, body, and your hands were now starting to sting. Harry held you tighter, carefully taking a seat onto the ground and bringing you down with him. You sat in between his legs and your head rested on his shoulder. 

After a moment, he felt you calm down and your body physically relaxed. Mindlessly, his hand brushed your hair back from your forehead, pressing a kiss to your skin. Harry hadn’t realized he did that until he pulled away and he hoped he hadn’t crossed a line by doing that. But when he kissed your forehead, you pulled him closer, burying your face into his neck. 

“Talk to me—tell me what you need, angel,” he said softly, wanting to help and be there for you. The nickname had completely slipped out as he’d been calling you that in his head. He’d never seen you break down at all, so this was very new to him. 

You shook your head, nickname going over your head. “Nothing. Just you.” 

Harry nodded his head, heart fluttering at your words as he held you tighter. He continued to soothe your hair and back as he heard you sigh deeply at the comfort. Looking down at your hands, he realized they were still bloody and cut up, and he knew that your cuts needed to be treated as soon as possible. 

“Can I take care of your hands? I’m still gonna be close, just wanna bandage you up.” You sniffled, nodding your head. Harry slightly smiled, carefully getting up before helping you up. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, first asking you where the first aid kit was, and you two walked to one of the offices to get the kit before going to the restroom. “Wanna sit?” He asked, patting the cold counter. Nodding your head, you placed your hands on the counter, but he quickly stopped you, taking off his jacket for you to sit on. 

“Thank you,” you softly said to him gratefully before jumping to sit on the counter. 

Harry opened the box that contained multiple and different types of bandages, an instant cold pack, thermometer, antiseptic wipes, and scissors. Harry washed his hands well before grabbing the antiseptic wipe and ripping it open. He situated himself between your legs, gently grabbing your hand to rest on his. He looked up at you, first asking you if it was okay to start, and when you said yes, he slowly and carefully started to wipe the area around the cut. 

You watched him as he cleaned your cuts; he was so focused on wiping the blood that stained your skin and was careful not to press too hard because you were starting to bruise already. As you watched him, you felt immensely grateful. It’d been a while since you had a true friend that would help you with anything and take care of you. Your feelings for him had skyrocketed, heart pounding so loud you could feel it in your ears. 

“The guy at the restaurant was my ex-boyfriend, Max,” you suddenly said. Harry looked up at you to let you know that he was listening as he continued to clean your hands. “It was a bit of a messy breakup; he called me names, insulted me, and confessed that he was cheating on me. When I saw him at the restaurant, that was the first time since the breakup, and it was like I relived that day again.” 

“Did he say anything to you?” Harry asked, holding back his anger because he knew the answer,  Harry watched through the window the entire time and noticed your posture and demeanor change, causing Harry to quickly pay and rush outside just in case anything happened. 

“Y-Yeah.” Your voice croaked. “Said I didn’t amount to anything—that I wasn’t anything without him-”

“That’s bullshit, Y/N-”

“I’m so mad at myself.” Tears were forming in your eyes again as you looked down at your lap. Redness brimmed your eyelids as you sniffled. 

“What? Why?” Harry asked confusingly. 

You shook your head at yourself. “For years, I’ve been training—learning how to defend myself for when I need it. I was raised to have a strong mindset, to not take shit from anyone because Don told me not to. But when he came around, I didn't say a word, let alone move a muscle. I hate how he made me weak. I hate how I didn’t stand up for myself.” Your voice was shaky and your tears streamed down your face as you paused for a moment. “He told me that you were gonna leave me just like everyone else in my life did,” you added. 

Harry was seething, breathing in through his nose as his face hardened. He masked his anger because his priority was to comfort you, so he tried to let go of his anger for a moment. 

“Listen to me.” He placed his hands on the outside of your legs, bending down to look you in the eyes. Your glossy eyes looked at him, a small pout on your face. “You’re the strongest person I know, alright, angel?” This time, you heard the pet name loud and clear, making your heart do backflips. “You didn’t let him walk all over you, no, you’re much more mature than him to ever start something. He wanted to see you angry, and frustrated. He wanted to add fuel to the fire, and you didn’t give him the satisfaction. You aren’t weak at all. You’ve got a strong heart, and I’m sure that punch of yours to his nose would damage it for good.” 

You breathed out a chuckle at his last statement, nodding, knowing he was right. Harry smiled, dimples showing proudly as he wiped the tears that were falling from your eyes. Giving him a half-smile, you leaned forward, pressing your face against his collarbones. He stood up straight to wrap his arms around your back. You daringly placed a kiss onto the exposed skin that was peeking out from his shirt. Harry’s face warmed up at the touch that was so soft and delicate, yet felt like it was burning through his skin. You pulled away, looking up at him as you thanked him. 

Your eyes darted between his eyes and his lips as your face was just inches away from him. His face was delicate and his beauty shined over the darkness of the world. It was as if he didn’t seem real like you couldn’t believe someone so beautiful and breathtaking was standing right in front of you. You studied every curve, movement, and freckle on his face as they all very well defined him, heightening your admiration with every look of his perfections and imperfections. 

Harry blushed under your stare, clearing his throat as he felt nervous. He pulled his face away a tad bit, offering you a small smile. “Of course. Always gonna be here for you. Now, let me just finish cleaning your hands before taking you home.” 

You nodded, letting him finish with his task. His hands were gentle as he wrapped the bandage around your hand. Your heart was filled with so much admiration and gratitude that you simply wouldn’t know what to do if Harry weren’t there today. The growing feelings had taken over your heart and mind that you were a bit scared, but nonetheless, you let them take over. 

Harry sat at the bar next to Benny, nursing a beer he had ordered ten minutes ago. It had been a while since they hung out together, but that was because Benny was trying to get his wife pregnant, so when Marianne calls, they spent their time baby-making. The other reason was that Harry was spending most of his time with you, which he loved every minute of. 

“So, a little bird told me that you’ve been going to the gym on Saturdays now,” Benny mentioned, a hint of tease in his tone. 

Harry chuckled. “Really? And who told you that?” He asked, taking a sip of his beer. 

“Starts with a D and ends with an N,” Benny laughed, giving you the obvious answer. 

“Well, I’ve been going in on Saturdays because Don always schedules our training sessions on Saturdays. Nothing else,” he slightly lied. After his first training day with Don, Harry told Don that he wanted to continue training with him because he gets a good workout with him rather than by himself, hitting the heavy bag or speed bag, so Don always scheduled for Saturdays since those were the easiest days. 

But other than the training sessions, he also got to see you on Saturdays, which he really enjoyed because sometimes after his workout, you two would grab a bite to eat or plan to hang out later that day. He liked it, he liked you. 

“Hmm, interesting. It doesn’t have to do with a particular trainer who also happens to own the gym?” Benny raised his brows. 

“Not really into Don, to be honest,” Harry joked, bouncing around Benny’s question. They both laughed, slamming their hand on the bar top. 

“Really, though. I’m happy for you. You’ve been in such a happier mood, and that’s all I want—is for you to be happy. She’s doing a great job,” Benny said honestly. Seeing his friend happy after everything he’s been through had lifted a certain weight off of his shoulders, and it seemed like he didn’t need to worry about Harry. 

Harry simply nodded, smiling as words weren’t necessary. He always felt like Benny was always concerned about him, and although he appreciated him being worried, he didn’t need to anymore because Harry was finally feeling much happier than he was before. 

“There you are.” A voice was suddenly heard next to Harry along with a hand on his shoulder. Harry tensed up, and he hadn’t in a while, but he knew that wasn’t your voice nor was it your touch. Harry turned his head to the side to find Lizette sitting on the stool next to him, giving him a smug smile. He didn’t say anything but look at Benny, and saw his eyes narrow, confused as to why Lizette was here. “I’ve been calling your home and paging you. Why haven’t you been answering me?” She pouted. 

Harry knew that pout all too well. She used it to trick you into saying yes to her and getting what she wanted, but Harry was stronger than that now; he knew how to hold his ground. 

He hadn’t seen Lizette ever since the week before he joined Don’s Box. With all of his time spent with you, he hadn’t really thought about Lizette, if he’s being honest. You had fully taken every inch and space of his mind that it was maximum capacity, but he still found a way to make space from the invading thoughts of you. 

“Just been…busy, Lizette, that’s all,” he said, not giving her his full attention as he looked at his bottle. 

“Too busy for me?” 

“Yeah, something like that.” He didn’t want to outright be rude to her because naturally, Harry was a kind and thoughtful man, so he kept his harsh thoughts to himself. 

She inched closer to Harry, close enough to where her mouth was against his ear as she whispered, “Well, since I so happened to run into you, how about we go back to yours?”

Harry took a deep breath. He felt like he was his old self again—making impulsive and not so thought out decisions that end up fucking him and his emotions over in the future. Being with Lizette was something, and it helped make him feel a little less lonely, even though she immediately left right after she got what she wanted. 

But Harry hadn’t felt lonely at the moment and in months. He had his best friend next to him, having a drink, and he had you. He wasn’t lonely at all. So, why was he getting off the stool and putting his coat on before closing his tab for the night? 

Benny’s eyes widened, looking at Harry as if he was asking what the actual fuck was he doing. Harry simply shrugged, patting his friend on the back before following Lizette out of the bar. The air was cold, but it wasn’t a delightful cold that he wanted to be in. It almost seemed kind of eerie as the gray clouds hovered over them. 

Lizette hugged Harry’s arm. “I’m glad you agreed.” She leaned up to kiss his cheek, but he immediately pulled away, taking his arm out of her hold. 

“You should go home,” he told her. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out as she was confused. “Get a ride home. I’m not taking you home nor am I going with you. I don’t want to do this anymore, Lizette.” 

“But you came with me-”

“That didn’t mean I was saying yes to your offer. I came out here with you to get you off of me and not embarrass me in front of my friend and the entire bar.” Harry’s voice was stern as he crossed his arms. “I know you’ve never really cared about me, so please just do me a favor and leave. I’m happier now-”

“You’re happier? With some other girl, huh?” Harry nodded and Lizette rolled her eyes, expression annoyed as she was beginning to get angry and defensive. “You think she cares? Guess what, Harry, she doesn’t. She’s gonna leave you just like your mom left you, your ex-girlfriend left you. Remember when she fucked your best friend in college? That she left you to be with him? And look at them now, they’re married! They don’t give a single fuck about you! What makes you think that this girl you’re seeing does?” 

Lizette had definitely hit a nerve. Harry had gone four years without hearing the story on how his ex left him for one of his friends from uni. The situation was quite sad, and it left Harry in pieces. Not to mention, Lizette was his ex’s best friend and she somehow seduced him into regularly having sex with her, which wasn’t entirely her fault because Harry was lonely and needed to feel something to fill the void of his loneliness. 

“Don’t think you’re so easy to love, Harry. It takes a lot of effort to do that, especially with you. You’re gonna continue being scared and closed off, and people are gonna continue to run away-”

“Harry?” Lizette was suddenly interrupted by you. You were walking to the bar because Benny had invited you, thinking that it would’ve been a nice surprise for Harry and to hang out with just the three of you. But you had seen Harry and some woman on the street and his face looked angry. “Uh, hi.” 

You turned towards the unknown woman as she looked you up and down before turning towards Harry, raising her brows as she figured out who you were and who Harry had been spending so much time with. 

Harry completely blocked you out, his attention was towards the statements Lizette had made. He had been doing so much better, and all of a sudden the relapse hit him ten times harder, like his accomplishment of being okay with himself completely disappeared. 

 Was he that hard to love? He knew that he pushed people away, that’s for sure, but he didn’t realize that it was difficult to love him. Harry then thought about the people that had left him because they didn’t love him enough to stay. His ex left him for his friend, it seemed like his mum had forgotten about him, and soon enough, Benny was gonna get tired of him and so were you. 

“And you are?” You asked, scowling at the woman in front of you. Lizette smirked, seeing as there was an opportunity right in front of her. She didn’t find you 

intimidating whatsoever. 

“Oh, guess Harry didn’t tell you, but we’ve been sleeping with each other for years. Friends with benefits, if you will,” Lizette answered with some sass and a snarl to her tone as she watched your expression turn into a hurtful one. 

Your face had softened as your eyes welled up with tears, but you didn’t dare let them fall. You looked at Harry and it seemed like he was in his head, but you had no clue he was ‘seeing someone.’ It felt like you had been cheated on, even though going out as friends didn’t mean anything to a fuck buddy. All of the moments you spent with him—the laughs, storytelling, training, and tension-filled moments had connected you both to one another. It made you feel special that you were seeing a side of Harry that no one else had, but you were wrong. 

“Guess you’re the new girl he’s seeing?” 

“What’s it to you?” Your brows knitted. 

Lizette shrugged. “Nothing. Just know that Harry’s difficult and loveless. So, just get out while you can.” She reached over to touch your shoulder, but you quickly stepped back before she could. She was talking as if Harry wasn’t right next to you two, and if this was a ‘women looking out for women’ type of situation, you weren’t going to accept it because she outright just insulted Harry. 

You were livid as your eyes turned dark, stepping closer to her. “Stay away from him, or I swear to god-”

“Or what? What are you gonna do?” Lizette challenged, stepping closer. She was slightly taller than you since she wore four-inch leather boots.

“Wanna find out? Next time I see you with him or hear you talk shit about him again, then you’ll find out because I can guarantee you’ll never see the light of day.” You held eye contact with her as she looked at you with such fierce emotion. 

“Cute. Harry’s got a little bodyguard,” she scoffed, stepping back. “I should go,” Lizette suddenly said, breaking you out of your heartbreaking thoughts. “I’ll call you,” she told Harry, despite what you had just said. It seemed like he wasn’t even listening as his blank stare was trained onto the ground. She walked away, her heels clicking against the cement. The satisfaction she felt right now felt good, knowing her words had definitely affected you both. 

When Lizette was far enough, you turned back towards Harry. This time, he was looking at you in a confused state, and it didn’t seem like him. 

“I-I didn’t know you were seeing someone-”

“You should go…” he said straightforwardly. You raised your brows as you were taken back. 

“I’m sorry?” 

“You should leave. For good. Get out of my life while you can. I promise I won’t get mad.” His voice cracked and was shaky. He couldn’t even look you in the eye while he was talking because he knew that would break his heart even more, especially if you were to actually leave for good. The negative thoughts had taken over, and this was what he did—pushing people away and giving them a way out before they realized that Harry wasn’t a lovable or worthy enough person to stay around for. 

“What makes you think I’m going anywhere?” You questioned confusingly. You wondered if he even thought about the conversation you two had a few moments ago when you had told him that you were staying for good. 

“They all do, anyway. They all leave and they never come back.” His voice was starting to raise slightly, frustration and anger pouring out of his veins as his eyes were starting to tear up. A pout remained on your face as you watched the distress never leave his angelic face. “Just please go.”

“I’m not going anywhere-”

“Why won’t you-”

“Because I care! Why don’t you get that?” You raised your voice, not too loud to startle him, but enough to convey your emotions and frustrations to him. 

“Because you’re going to eventually! You’re gonna leave and use me and never love me. I’m used to it, so you could go now!” Harry was starting to cry, light sobs were coming out of his mouth as he was trying to hold them back. You took a step forward, wanting to comfort him as your heart broke at the sight, but he stepped back, not wanting your touch. 

Your heart sank when he stepped back away from you because he had never done that before. You two were always comfortable with one another that both of your touches had felt like security. Your tears had streamed down your face, quickly wiping them. 

“Harry, I’m not gonna leave…” 

“It’s fine. You don’t know what it’s like for someone to leave and never come back. You don’t know what it’s like to feel completely loveless that someone physically had to get out of your life and not want to be in it anymore. You don’t know what it’s like!” He spoke firmly as he cried, tugging his curly locks in frustration. 

“I don’t know what it’s like?” You spoke loudly, and Harry looked up at you. “I know exactly what it’s like because my own mother left me when I was eleven-years-old, and I have no idea why!” You vented, sniffling. “You don’t think I know what it’s like to constantly wonder what you’re doing wrong because the people that were supposed to be there for you completely vanished? Because I do! I know that feeling quite well. So, don’t tell me I don’t know shit because it seems like we’re in the same boat.” 

Harry was speechless. Sure, you two had been close and had talked about your lives and childhood, but this was something that you two had to dig deep for because it wasn’t something you regularly spoke about nor did you tell new people that you’d just met. 

“I-I’m sorry I had no idea…” 

“You couldn’t have had any idea, Harry. But just know that that day my mom left me still confuses me. The look on my dad’s face when he told me that mom left still haunts me. The crying I did since I was eleven hurts me because she didn’t love me enough to stay.” 

“Y/N…” 

“It’s fine, I get it. I know we’ve known each other for only a few months, but I did not expect this from you, especially because of all that we’d talked about. I’d say I’m the newest person in your life but I’m also the closest, besides Benny. So, don’t shut me out.” Your heart was beating through your chest and all of your emotions began to pile up like they were leaves, falling from the branches of the trees. 

Harry looked defeated, knowing that you were right. He sniffled, not knowing what else to say because all he felt was a painful feeling in his chest since Lizette had gone up to him at the bar. 

When he didn’t say anything, you just nodded, knowing that it was best to give him some space so he could realize that you were here for him and that you weren’t going anywhere. 

“Call me when you wanna talk…” you told him before turning around. Harry watched you—he knew that he should go after you, not be scared and let you in, perhaps tell you that he’s practically in love with you, but he doesn’t move, feet glued to the ground. 

When you were only a few feet away, you turned back around, knowing that you hadn’t gotten your final words out yet. Harry looked up when he heard footsteps approaching him. 

“Fuck whatever people say to you; trying to degrade and bring you down because whatever they say, it’s not true. I will always be there to defend you, Harry. Don’t think I won’t be because I will always be on your side.” You paused for a moment. Your heart was fully opening and was beginning to be vulnerable. Trying not to let it overwhelm you, you continued. “Don’t think you’re not easy to love because you are. You’re extremely easy to love, y’know that? I would know because…I love you. And that’s crazy to say because we’ve only known each other for a short period of time, but I can’t help what I feel. So, there you go.” 

Before Harry was able to say anything, you walked away, and he could hear you sniffling and crying. Harry’s mouth was ajar, completely speechless and shocked, but his heart fluttered as he took in your words. You really loved him, he thought. No one had said those words and really meant them or they hadn’t felt real to him when he heard them, so the shock that he felt was new. 

You were far enough where Harry couldn’t see you. He hadn’t even moved an inch, and he knew that later on, he was going to be very disappointed in himself for not chasing you down and telling you that he loved you too. But for now, he needed to take it all in and hope that when he did tell you, it wouldn’t be too late. 

Taking a deep breath, you walked inside to your apartment, sniffling as you went straight to the bathroom to take a long and hot shower. Before you left your place to go to the bar, you had been contemplating your appearance because you wanted to look good. Nerves were all over your body as you were getting ready, and you sulked at how the events had completely turned tonight around. 

When you were out of the shower and changed, ready to get into bed despite the night only being nine in the evening, your pager beeped. Picking it up off the bedside table, the message was sent from Harry, reading ‘143.’ You raised your brows, reading it again and reading it once more. Your heart was pounding, studying the numbers to make sure you read them right. The simple code for ‘I love you’ was printed on your pager and you wanted to scream. 

Before you could actually scream, there was a knock on your door. You walked quickly, opening it as Harry was standing behind it, holding his pager out as he smiled softly at you. You had just finished crying in the shower, so your eyes were red and a tad bit swollen, but you were close to crying again because of how overwhelmed you felt. 

“Did you mean it?” You asked hesitantly, holding your pager up. 

“Of course I do. Did you mean it?” He retaliated back, wondering if you meant your three words as well. 

“Of course I mean it, Harry. Why wouldn’t I?” You asked, wiping the tear that had slipped down your face. 

“Because I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much that it hurts,” he claimed in one breath, feeling the tension and weight that he held in his shoulders release. “You’re everything to me, and you make my world less frightening. I just see your pretty smile and my day completely turns into a great one. I don’t wanna waste a day not telling you that now, and it feels pretty damn good to say it.”

You slightly nodded until you remembered one of your concerns earlier. “What about Lizette?” 

“Lizette was someone I used to sleep with. I haven’t seen her nor slept with her in months—before I even met you, I promise. And I’m sorry for assuming that you didn’t know what it felt like for someone to leave and that you had to tell me under those circumstances. But just know, that I’m not gonna leave, unless you tell me to, that is.” Every bit of him was opening up and he wasn’t hiding away. He was being completely vulnerable and it had scared him a bit, but when his words came out, he felt himself get better. 

You looked at him through your glassy eyes, vision blurred for a moment until you adjusted them and clearly saw the gorgeous man in front of you. His eyes were filled with tears as well, and you thought, how could someone still look so pretty while they cried? But that was Harry for you; someone who was genuinely beautiful no matter what. Someone who had a heart of gold and a flashing smile that made your heart swoon and knees weak. 

You simply reached your hand out and Harry walked towards you, into your apartment as he came close to your face as your bodies were pressed up against one another. The back of his fingertips gently brushed the side of your face, admiring the beauty that stood before him as he opened his heart up completely, not wanting to go another day without saying those three words back to you. 

The corners of your lips turned up and your tears were replaced by happy ones. You had walked away from Harry after you said I love you because he was looking at you like he had seen a ghost, not a friendly one, but more of a scary one. So, hearing those words were just music to your ears. 

“You mean that? That you love me?” You wanted to hear it again and again and again. 

“Ever word. I love you, angel,” he repeated, adding your nickname. He pressed his forehead against yours, inches away from your lips. 

“Never stop calling me that,” you instructed him, smiling. The first time he had said it, you came to the conclusion that you absolutely loved hearing that name come out of his mouth, especially if it was specifically for you. 

“Only if you never stop telling me that you love me,” he slightly smirked, dimples poking out. He was so immensely happy that his heart could burst just because of the love that he felt for you. 

You giggled. “I love you, baby-” 

“I, uh, wait. Do you mind…not calling me that?” He hesitated, and you raised your brows confused. “Someone else called me that, and I just don’t like hearing it. Never have since it came out of her mouth,” he explained shyly. 

A sudden realization came to your face as you realized that Lizette probably called him that. “Okay. I won’t call you that, ever…darling.” Harry’s lips began to slowly turn up, already liking that name so much better than the other one. He hugged you; and you smiled, closing and opening your eyes to make sure you weren’t dreaming. Your arms snaked around Harry’s waist as he cradled your delicate face in his hands. 

“Never stop calling me that,” he repeated your words as you two smiled and laughed until your jaws started hurting. 

His eyes flickered down to your lips and back up to your eyes. You pursed your lips, blushing as you watched his eyes glance back up and down. You rubbed the tip of your nose against his, pulling him closer; hearts beating in sync as butterflies filled your stomach. 

He brushed his lips against yours before fully connecting them, feeling every spark and shiver that traveled down his spine. You smiled into the kiss as the softness of his lips moved and molded against yours, feeling completely in bliss. The way his lips slotted perfectly with yours made you saturated and dizzy off of his love and touch. Butterflies were still in your stomach, but they were calm like they had been fluttering around for this moment, his touch, in order to relax. 

Pulling back, he smiled down at you, eyes love-struck, before giving you another kiss, and pulling away and kissing you again once more. 

“Kissing you is my new favorite thing,” he stated, drunk off kisses. You breathed out a giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck as you breathed in his scent. You felt his breath against your neck, feeling completely happy and content in each other’s arms. 

There was no fear in the air; just the two of you with open hearts and arms, welcoming in the new and profound feeling that you both took in, knowing that it’s going to change everything for the better. 

You pulled him inside and Harry kicked the door closed with his foot. His arms were holding you tight as you walked back to your bedroom. Opening your mouth slightly, Harry took the chance to meet your tongue with his, swiveling and tasting each other causing a shiver to run down your spine. 

You pulled back when Harry laid down on the bed, taking in the gushy feeling you had as you smiled. 

“Want you,” you simply stated. 

“You have me, angel.” 

“I know, but I want you. Need you,” your eyes pleaded for his touch, to feel him inside of you, for him to make you feel good. You desperately craved for his hands on all of you, his mouth kissing every inch of your skin, and his love passionately pouring out of his veins. 

Harry nodded, smiling. “Need you too. Need you forever,” he said, connecting your lips again as he hovered over you. 

You two kissed for a while, giggling against each other’s lips and having his weight on top of you as your hands roamed his back. You bucked your hips into his, feeling the hard-on that was growing in his pants, which made Harry grind into your center, moaning softly into your mouth. 

“Please do something,” you said, and he nodded, getting off of you before taking his jacket and shirt off swiftly. His tattoos were showcased in front of you and all you wanted to do was kiss every single one of them. “You’re beautiful, Harry,” you complimented, and he blushed, a soft ‘thank you’ came out of his mouth. Next was his pants, and before he was able to take his briefs off, you stopped him, telling him that you wanted to do it. 

You got off the bed, switching positions with him as you were now standing up as Harry laid down on the bed. You smiled, eyes glancing all around his body. He suddenly felt shy and intimidated under your stare, but he knew he had no reason to be because you were simply admiring him. This time around when it came to physically be vulnerable with someone, he knew he didn’t have to worry anymore when it came to you. 

You took off your lilac nightgown, exposing your body to Harry’s eyes. Your nipples had hardened due to the exposure to the cold. His eyes glimmered as he gazed at your stunning and beautiful body. Every curve and inch was something he tried to remember, and he was quite speechless at the sight. He reached out, gently grabbing your hips as he roamed his hands up your body and to your breasts, grabbing both in each of his hands. 

He looked up at you and you smiled down at him as he placed his mouth on your left pebbled nipple, sucking and licking it as his hand fondled with the other. You laced your fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp as he did so, switching over to your right nipple. 

Harry pulled away, looking at you. “You’re an actual angel. You’re so beautiful.” 

“Harry…” you blushed. 

“You are, angel. So beautiful. Can’t believe I get to see you like this.” He kissed the valley of your breasts and down your stomach before getting up and pushing you down onto the bed with ease. He settled in between your legs, arms hooked under your thighs. 

Continuing kissing down your stomach, he reached the hem of your underwear, looking up at you before asking, “Can I take these off? Wanna make you feel good—the same way you always make me feel good.” 

“Please. Take them off. Wanna feel your mouth on me,” you pleaded as your arousal heightened. You wrapped your legs around his back, eagerly pulling his head towards your center, making Harry let out a chuckle. 

“Easy, angel. Not going anywhere.” Harry kissed your stomach once more before pulling off your beige underwear. You were glistening below him; you made a complete mess in your panties. “Fuck, you’re so wet. This all for me?” 

“Mhm. All for you, Harry, please,” you whispered impatiently. Harry’s dirty talk had only increased your need for him as it was quite surprising to see this side of him since he was more on the shy and reserved side outside, but nonetheless, you loved both sides—you loved him. 

Harry leaned down, pressing multiple kisses to your inner thighs, nibbling on the skin gently. You bucked your hips as he trailed his kisses towards your pussy that was eagerly waiting to be touched and licked. When he got there, he pressed a kiss to your clit before kitten-licking your sensitive button, making you softly moan. 

His tongue licked into the entrance of your pussy, gathering your arousal on the tip of his tongue to lubricate your clit even more. 

“Fuck,” you groaned as your hands found his curly locks, tugging at them gently. 

“You could do that harder, I don’t mind it,” Harry told you before going back to eating you out. You pulled harder and Harry deeply groaned against you, sending vibrations up your body. 

His hands wandered around your body, feeling the softness of your skin against his hands. Your skin had formed goosebumps due to his touch, and Harry smoothed out your skin so you were warm. He sucked on your clit quite harshly, earning a moan of his name from your lips as he grabbed both of your tits in his hands, squeezing them. 

You placed your hands on top of his, squeezing them with him, and Harry almost came at the sight of that. There you were, moaning his name out, getting your pussy eaten, and squeezing your tits on top of his hands. A sight he truly was lucky enough to see. 

Harry pulled one hand away to rub your clit as he tongued around your wet hole before tongue fucking you. He rubbed your clit at a moderate speed, enough for you to thrust your hips off the bed. Harry pulled his other hand that was still on one of your breasts away to pin your hips down onto the bed. 

“Stay still for me, angel,” he instructed, voice deep that made you even wetter. “You taste so good. Could eat you out all day.” 

“Harry…” you trailed, whining desperately for your release. “W-Wanna…cum…need to.” Your sentences were broken and Harry thought that was a good sign, knowing that he was doing so well you couldn’t form a proper sentence. 

“Tell me what you need. Let me know, so I can get you there.” 

“F-Fingers,” you told him, and he immediately brought his fingers to your clit, rubbing it before inserting two fingers inside your pussy. He thrust slowly, curling his fingers up to feel your walls.

He felt you pulsing around him as your legs were wrapped tightly around his back as you screamed his name over and over again. 

“C’mon, love. Give me one,” he encouraged, thrusting his fingers a bit faster. 

Once he hit the spot over and over again, you saw stars. Your vision had gone white for a few seconds, and you felt dizzy. The pleasure that ran through your body was overwhelming in the best way possible and you choked out a few sobs. It had hit you like a brick that you saw coming, but you were still surprised and shocked by the impact. 

Your hands held Harry’s hair tight that he thought for a moment that you might actually rip it off. Harry rubbed your pussy as you came down from your high, licking your orgasm that was seeping through your cunt, taking every drop of it. He looked up to see your head thrown back, chest heaving, and a vein that was bulging against your skin. He kissed your thighs while his other hand trailed across your body. 

When you finally were able to catch your breath, Harry kissed up your body, leaving the softest and loving kisses to your skin as you were quite sensitive. You grabbed his face, bringing his lips to yours as you immediately stuck your tongue in his mouth, swirling it with his to taste yourself on him—a mixture of his taste and your orgasm all on his tongue had made you wetter. 

Harry was grinding himself against your leg, trying to relieve some pressure. 

“Want you,” you told him once he pulled away, looking at him intently. 

“You sure?” 

“Absolutely. Please? Only if you want to-”

“I definitely want to. Just wanna make sure you were sure,” he breathed out a chuckle. 

“Course I want to.” There was a bit of silence between you two as you were simply just admiring him as he hovered over you. “Are you gonna fuck me, Harry?” You broke the silence, and Harry broke out of his trance, shyly giggling before getting off the bed. 

He peeled away his briefs, cock standing straight up from the slight painful restraint. He was big—girth and length wise, and you felt your mouth salivating from just looking at him. He got back on the bed, in between your legs as he sat on his knees. Spitting on his hand, he grabbed a hold of his dick, stroking it to relieve the pressure. The view was beautiful in every single way possible, and you didn’t dare to bat an eye because you didn’t want to miss one second of it. 

Wanting to take over for him, you reached forward, replacing his hand with yours as you slowly stroked his cock for him. Harry had a smug smile on his face but soon changed into a face of pure pleasure as your hand worked against him. His mouth was open as he let out a soft moan, looking down at your eyes as you were looking up, completely loving his reaction to your touch. 

“You’re so pretty, Harry,” you complimented as you continued to touch him. Your other hand reached forward to fondle with his balls, rolling them into your hand as Harry whimpered. “Love seeing you like this. Most gorgeous man I’ve seen in my life.” 

“Please, angel, you’re being too nice…” he managed to groan out, hands gripping your thighs. 

“But it’s true. Look so pretty when you’re like this, but also when you’re hitting the heavy bags. When we go out to eat and you mindlessly drink your entire drink while waiting for the food. But I think you’ll look extra pretty than you already are if you cum.” Your words of declaration were getting him on the edge as you stroke him. The way your voice slightly changed as you looked up at him with the most innocent eyes made him thrust into your hand, gripping the flesh of your skin as he threw his head back. 

“You think so?” 

“Mhm. Gonna be so pretty when you cum all over my body, my tits. Can you do that? For me, can you do that? Please?” You were completely begging for it, but even with all the begging, he knew that you had all the control right now. 

Your feet rubbed his calves up and down, and it was the simplest touch, but it heightened Harry’s need to let go. 

“Wanna cum for you, yeah.” His breaths were heavy and harsh as your touch was focused on his tip, wrapping your delicate hands around the head where he was most sensitive. 

Harry’s moans stuttered as a series of profanities slipped from his lips, spilling onto your stomach and breasts. You smiled to yourself as you studied his face when he came undone; his mouth was open, occasionally biting his lip, and eyes shut closed as his head was thrown back—he was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen, and the fact that you got to see him like this was an honor. 

When he came down from his high, he slowly opened his eyes, meeting yours, staring right at him. You smirked, body covered in his orgasm, and he thought that was a picture worth taking. You were gorgeous covered in his pleasure that you caused, and you seemed to love it too since you made no effort to wipe it off. 

Boldly, he leaned down, dragging his tongue from your stomach to your tit, spending the most time on your breasts as he nibbled and licked your nipples, collecting his orgasm from your skin and held it on the tip of his tongue until he reached your mouth. You willingly opened your mouth as his tongue delved right in, feeding you his cum. 

You two passionately kissed, tasting him ever so sensually. You moaned into his mouth, thinking about how the sight of Harry licking his orgasm off of your body was the sexiest thing you’d ever seen. With your hips jerking up, you felt yourself getting wet again and in need to release once more. 

You whimpered, pulling away. “Please. Need you so bad.” Harry nodded, agreeing. 

“Condom?” He asked, and you immediately reached over to your bedside table, ripping open the condom before rolling it onto his dick that was still hard. 

Harry curled in his lips, watching you. You gave him a few extra strokes for good measure, earning a soft moan from his mouth. He took his length in his hand, running the tip up and down your slit, collecting your arousal and lubricating his cock. He gave you one last look and you nodded before he slowly pushed in, indulging in your wetness and softness. 

A moan came out of both of your mouths, feeling completely full and warm for one another with the stretch Harry had on you. He planted his elbows on both sides of you, holding himself up over you as he slowly began to thrust. 

“Fuck,” he groaned. “Feel so good for me.” He placed a kiss on your lips as he whispered. He found a rhythm as he started to move faster, rocking his hips against yours, making you moan. 

It was a feeling like no other, and it was the amount of love you two had for one another that made this experience much more special. Love was practically oozing out of both of your veins, filling the room to its maximum capacity as the both of you moaned out in pleasure. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms looped around his back, hugging him closer to you as if he couldn’t get closer. You whined into his ear, the sounds of your pleasure were music to his eyes, sending a shiver down his body, making him jerk. But that jolt had hit your g-spot, and you screamed out in ecstasy. 

“Right there. Keep doing that. Keep fucking me,” you managed to say. Harry maintained his pace, going deeper, and fucking you into oblivion as you kept crying and screaming his name out. 

Harry’s lips attached to your neck, nibbling and licking your skin, leaving a few decent size love bites that he was sure to admire when they’d fully formed. Your nails had raked down his back, leaving a burning but pleasurable sting down his skin, letting him know that he was doing an amazing job. 

“You like that?” He groaned into your ear, leaving chills rising onto your skin. 

“Mhm. Just like that. Don’t stop. I-I’m so close.” You threw your head back into the pillows, and Harry took the opportunity to attack your exposed neck with kisses again. Your hands found Harry’s hair, tugging at his curls as he kissed you. That encouraged him to fuck you harder and faster, repeatedly hitting your special spot. “O-Oh…” 

“Come on, angel love. Cum for me, please. Wanna see you make a mess around me,” he encouraged you. 

With a few more thrusts, you were done. You had fully and completely released around him as your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks. Your vision had gone white for a few seconds, head dizzy, and your breaths were caught in your throat as your hips involuntarily jolted, meeting his thrusts that were fucking you through your high. 

Harry started to thrust sloppily, burying his face in your neck as he spilled into the condom. His hot breath was against your skin as he started to slow down, coming down from his orgasm. 

The room was silent as the only sounds present were the heavy breaths and the post-orgasmic whimpers coming from your mouth as you two held one another. Your nails gently scratched down his back, contrasting to the desperate and needy scratches that you had given him just a few minutes ago. 

Harry lifted his head up, meeting your eyes before connecting his lips against yours, tongue meeting first before your lips moved in sync so passionately and lovingly that you both unspokenly agreed to never taste another pair of lips again. 

“I love you so much,” Harry said, resting his chin on your chest. 

You smiled down at him, eyes gleaming as you looked at your love, your entire heart, the man that had stolen your breath and heart just by one look. 

“And I love you too.” 

Waking up to the warmth of the body next to you was your favorite thing in the morning—had been for six months now. The sight next to you was something you wouldn’t get used to as you always found yourself feeling so lucky every single time you woke up next to him. 

But a pout formed onto your face when you saw that the space next to you was empty. The crinkled yellow sheets were left, missing a certain person that you had been excited to see this morning since you closed your eyes the night prior. 

Turning over to your bedside table, you grabbed your pager, seeing if you had any messages, and one specifically stood out to you, making you sleepily smile at your pager. 

“Goodmorning, angel,” Harry greeted as he stood in the doorway of your bedroom. He was wearing a gray sweatsuit, holding a white paper bag in one hand and a smoothie tray, that held two smoothies, in the other hand with a loving smile plastered on his face, making his dimples poke out. 

“Mm. Hi, darling.” Your arms reached forward, gesturing him to come to you, and he gladly did, situating himself on your body as you wrapped your arms around him. 

You two stayed like that for a moment, basking in the presence and gratitude of one another. It was nice until your stomach started growling, making Harry chuckle. 

“C’mon, gotta feed my girl before we head to the gym.” He got off of you, helping you up and out of the bed before helping you make the bed. He walked over to the kitchen before you went to the restroom, and when you walked out, Harry had your breakfast set on a plate. 

You two made light conversation, mostly enjoying the silence and tastiness of the food before you got ready to go to the gym. 

When you walked into Don’s Box, you were immediately greeted by a few of the members, giving you high fives, as well as saying hi to Harry. The entire gym had found out you two were together when they started to notice Harry coming into the gym almost every day and staying until the gym closed, so a few people had their speculations. Don was certain you two would get together from the very beginning, and he had told you that the only reason he was trying to act intimidating when Harry first walked in was that he sensed that something would happen, and he was right, something did happen. 

Benny was ecstatic; jokingly telling Harry that he could now spend time with his wife since you had taken all of Harry’s time now, which Benny earned a push from Harry towards the ropes of the ring. Benny’s wife was also pregnant and wanted Harry to be the godfather, which Harry immediately took on that responsibility and role. But that also meant since you and Harry were planning on staying together for the long run, you were becoming a godmother as well, which you were very excited about. 

You climbed up into the ring as Harry followed. You had a day off, and no one needed your attention other than Harry, so you helped him put on his gloves after you wrapped his hands in tape, and you put on your mitts, making sure they were tight before clapping the mitts together—Harry punched his gloves together, making sure they were comfortable. 

You raised your brows at him teasingly. “Ready, darling?” 

“Ready as always, my angel,” he responded, and you smirked. 

“Give me a good one. Give me 1.” 

talk to me about your favorite moments, your thoughts and feelings about this pls! thank you for reading <3

[flashfuture]

You know what’s kind of…weirdly heartwarming and a little sad, like sometimes I think about how Bart never knew Barry, who by that time was counting worms, so like “the flash” in Bart’s mind was Wally and like I will die on the hill that even at their worst, Bart and Wally do love each other (even if “liking each other” is a little harder because they are both gremlins to each other), but also like Wally grew up idolizing Barry and he and his family whether they meant to or not practically deified the man after his death (even though realistically they understood he was a human person with flaws, grief I think sometimes makes you forget that) so Bart only got the good stuff and the bad stuff? Well it was best left buried with Barry.

So Barry comes back right and he’s obviously a good but human person and he and Bart has to reconcile the man he built in his head (who may or may not be close to perfect) with the real human person in front of him.

This is rambly but like; I just think there is a lot of good angst that can be written between Bart and Barry, and the utter hilarious thought of Bart when thinking of the flash thinks of Wally not Barry bc well yeah since his introduction or most of it Wally was the flash.

I’m sorry if this makes no sense I’m very in my feelings about the speedsters. And how all these retcons like…took a Jack hammer to Bart’s whole extended family, like max, iris, Joan, jay and yes even Wally Jesse and linda.

There isn’t enough idk? I guess I just want a fic where Wally and Bart mourn the loss of what they had and what was taken away, but like written well where they can’t totally be completely earnest and heartwarming without being shitty gremlins cousins to each other. Also the idea of a plot where Bart and Wally put aside their differences to okay boomer Barry or jay or both is very important to me, personally.

No cause I think about this all of the time. Barry was gone for so long and he never really got to know the legacy he left behind.

[mikaze-discord]

Love letter project ♡

Sooo to celebrate the 4th anniversary of Shining live, I put together a project! I basically got a bunch of people to write a love letter for their favourite boy. Things like, why they like them, how they got to like them and what they like about them were all accepted!

The event was supposed to have 2 fans for each boy but unfortunately I was unable to get two for some of the boys. 

Under the cut will be the love letters for all of Class A!!! Please enjoy~ And thank you for all the people who participated in the event and taking the time to write the love letters out. 

CLASS A

OTOYA ITTOKI

From @ponzu-penzui:

Hello world! My nickname is Yuki, and I’m here to tell you about the sunshine boy that is Otoya Ittoki. The redhead of the series, Otoya is your seemingly a-typical sunshine in a mascot boy character. But, as we all know with these types, the sunshine isn’t as, well, sunshine as they seem. Or, if you didn’t know, well… spoiler alert I guess. Go watch the anime, or play the otome games, then come back here. Anyways, let’s get started on our journey, shall we? Through the rabbithole that got me here in the first place!

Otoya immediately became my best boy the second I saw him. I’m not quite sure what immediately got me at first, whether it be his red hair and eyes, his voice, or his immediate friendliness, but here we are. I should also mention that UtaPri was my first idol anime, so I was completely unaware what was going to hit me later. And, if you’ve watched the entire anime, you know where I’m going.

Season 4 was an emotional wreck. I cried at least twice. Did I have a newfound appreciation for Otoya after all that heartache? Definitely. Without spoilers, it was incredibly painful for me to watch, but I don’t regret it.

After watching the anime, I soon found out about the existence of Shining Live. So, with no other UtaPri content to binge, I started to play SL in late 2018. After playing for a little more than a year, I tiered in my first Otoya event (Heartwarming Snow Festival), and achieved my first top 200. Ever since then, I’ve tiered in every Otoya event, getting top 200, then top 100.

But, why do I like Otoya Ittoki even to this day? Well, I guess this is the time where I say that, after a certain point, I started to see bits of myself in Otoya. This led me to start to RP him, and, as you probably know if you’ve ever roleplayed a character before, I started to look at the miniscule amount of translated game content (many thanks to the Ohayaho Translation Team) for, well, more content. And content I did receive. Long story short, this only served to solidify Otoya as my favorite boy of not only UtaPri, but from all anime/manga/game content I’ve ever seen/watched. His cheerfulness may have been the first thing that got me in this rabbithole, but his backstory and how he managed to grow up pulled me in even further. And, I don’t think I will or want to get out anytime soon.

Next one from; Anon

As much as we all know our Otoya for how sweet and kind he is, there is so much more to him than just a precious smile. He is uplifting, cheerful towards everyone he meets. He has empathy and goes out of his way to make sure his friends are happy. Even so, Otoya has feelings that aren’t always happiness and smiles. He can feel sad and angry just like anyone else.

The reason I care and love Otoya so much is because he has shown me that I don’t have to always put on a smile. It’s nice to show off your pearly whites, but sometimes, it’s okay to be sad too. There are times in everyone’s life when they feel out of place and that they don’t belong. Otoya also felt this way and that’s perfectly okay. He’s still being the best idol he can be: The idol that Otoya loves the most.

MASATO HIJIRIKAWA

From Anon: 

Masato Hijirikawa. Why do I like Masato Hijirikawa? I like him to the point that it feels weird for me to even question why I do. He's just- a good boy. A great boy. I love him. As a joke, I'd usually say that it was his weirdly pretty, bowl-cut hairstyle that drew me to him, or I'd say that he caught my interest when I read that he was "very good with his hands" (wink wonk) in his Shining Live description, and while both of these reasons are still true, it wasn't until I started role playing him in an old server that I really started to appreciate his character more.

Masato, despite his aloof and almost "perfect" initial image, is a very relatable character. When he first arrived at Saotome (in-game) he wasn't necessarily seen as someone with a lot of talent to become an idol, which he acknowledged with grace and worked hard to make up for. He's humble despite his privileged upbringing and is incredibly self-aware of his flaws, which are sources of insecurity for him sometimes (a lot of times). Though it should be said that most of this insecurity stems from not having a lot of control over his early life, which is why it felt so gratifying to see him break free of his metaphorical chains to pursue his happiness without any doubts. He's a hard worker and is willing to accept criticism with open arms, not only for himself but for the people around him. Despite his traditional upbringing and nature, he's very receptive to change as long as it benefits both him and STARISH. He values the people he cares about more than anything, which is why he constantly strives to be a better version of himself every day, not only for himself but for the people around him.

Though his stoicism sometimes makes him seem plain or even "boring" to some people, he hides a warm, hidden passion within that's just as bright as everyone else's. Like the springtime bloom of cherry blossoms after winter, Masato shows his passion and love with no restraint to anyone who takes the time to understand him, and I can very much attest to this. I love him a lot and I hope to see more content of him, STARISH, and the others for more years to come.

NATSUKI SHINOMIYA

From uh....me:

HELLO I’m Z~ also known as the mod of the mikaze-discord/utapri-hcs tumblrs, as well as the organiser for the event! But enough about myself, let's talk about Natsuki Shinomiya.

When I first watched the anime as a youngin, I had already known about the games and their plots but had decided to try out the anime as well since I had nothing better to do.

Natsuki was actually one of my least favourite characters in the anime just because of how they presented him. I just...didn't care for him at all. He was just some random tall guy who loved hugs and almost murder…. Yeah.

I’m sure like most, I had a changing point. Originally, I was a Tokiya rper but...I was just unhappy with how my Tokiya was, I wasn't as experienced in rping with that server being my first rp server i was ever in. I didn't feel like I matched up with the others. I felt my Tokiya was just lacking something, substance maybe. Another person actually had a similar feeling and had changed their character from Camus to Syo and since we already had an Ai, I had just decided to go with the flow and complete the rest of the cute team. Best decision of my life. I’m so grateful for Natsuki and everything I associate him with. Without him, I probably wouldn't have made my tumblrs, I wouldn't have stayed in that server, I wouldn't have gone looking for other servers to rp in. I don't think I would be the same without Natsuki. I just find him so endearing now, he is just a lovable giant who happens to be able to be a disney princess. He is just so darn cute damn it. , just look at his Christmas card, his King card, quite literally just half his Shining live URs. Also, just like his songs just slap. Natsuki to me, is just serotonin. He gave me so many opportunities that I could have missed. I don't even think I would have started this love letter project without him if I’m being completely honest. I genuinely enjoyed all the memories I made as Natsuki. Thank you to Natsuki and to the Mikaze-discord for basically starting me off.

From Luke:

Natsuki was actually the very first character I encountered before I got into utapri. A friend showed a photo of him and told me that I'd probably be into this guy. She sure was right! After installing shining live for the first time and having a familiar face on the screen, I grew curious of him each day and just had to find out why was so attracted to him. The fact that I've seen him so many times in the past was haunting me, telling me that this man actually watched me grow up from a distance without even knowing his name. It sounds weird but I find it rather comforting for someone who doesn't want to be protected but isn't strong enough to defend myself alone.

The thought of having him there was enough to get me through the day and gave me enough reason to wake up to the next. I admit I may have adapted some of his habits after looking after his account for a year but that isn't a bad thing if it means that it would turn me into a much better person than I am now. I guess you could say we've grown together now in a sense, preserving the feelings and just living through the moment no matter how happy or sad it is. What's important is that we're not alone in all things we do and in everything we feel, there will always be someone there to keep us moving when we feel like giving up.

[nextwarden]

Webtoons are good for the soul [Long post] [but worth it] [hopefully]

Bit of a long one (for a change...), sorry.

I haven’t read that many that’s a lie but here are my favs!

Lore Olympus by Rachel Smythe [ongoing - every Sunday]

or when Hades met Persephone. It’s a love story, fluffy yet deep and sad at times. Very well told and with incredible art (as you can see from the cover ci-dessus), in a pastel/watercolour fluid style, as is the storytelling. It has compelling characters, character growth, love, funny moments, and basically the best you could ask from a romantic story. And it had enough material to get you through good number of hours of reading before you have to break down every sunday in wait of the following week like the rest of us.

mah-hart-mah-sole/10

Love Advice From the Great Duke of Hell by unfins [ongoing - every Friday]

Paul is in love with a cute girl who works in a café nearby. But Paul is shy and can’t work out how to go ask her out. So Paul does what anyone would do and summons one of the Great Dukes of Hell in order to get better at fumbling his sentences and blushing at beautiful maidens. It’s about discovery of one’s true self and how getting deep into shenanigans will lead you to find so much more. Also, sister. (You’ll understand when you get there.)

It’s funny but also compelling and serious but still incredibly funny. I don’t think I’ve laughed as much reading any other webtoon and yet the story is also really cool. It strikes a perfect balance, or near perfect. The expressions and the action scenes are just incredible too.

chenandeler bong/10

Suitor Armor by Purpah [ongoing - every Friday]

In a land with magic and war between humans and fairies, Lucia is the princess’s lady in waiting and her only goal in life at the moment is to get her Lady to have the wedding she wishes for and deserves. But then she gets a flower from a magic armor and everything changes. Also, she’s a fairy.

It’s well drawn, characters all seem unique, varied and personnality-driven. The art style is beautiful. It’s also deeper than what I expected, with inklings of different types and levels of drama.

Alright, I’ll say it, it feels like a ‘promising new Lore Olympus’. By which I mean not to compare but simply to say I felt as taken by the story as I did with L.O.

Modeus/10

Facing the Sun by ArtbyTesslyn [ongoing]

Aarya reaserches the intricacies of dobotics and artificial intelligence with her companion robot Liza who's expiration is long everdue. Things change with a hardware update. One can’t live without the other, and neither can the other.

It’s dark but beautiful, both in the art and in the story. The sci-fi elements aren’t overwhelming and pieces of lore bring begin to pain a picture over time. It’s a slow burn but oh lord! if it isn’t going to be blazing hot...

I Robot/10

Spellbound by Ronce [ongoing]

Eglantine joins a new highschool midyear and finds herself paired with a refractarian roommate. She does her best to fit in to her new school despite not conforming to all the expectations that others might have of her. Or of her strange but likeable roommate.

It’s a cute and queer little romance, very underrated in my opinion. The art is wonderful, it’s black and white in the beginning and starts having touches of colour here and there before going full blown coloured, and I didn’t even realize it had until many chapters into it... The characters all all diverse and interesting. Also did I forget to say it’s set in France and it’s a wizarding school? Because it is!

conseiller principal d’éducation/10

180 Angel by King Katbird [ongoing]

Chloe is an angel, she lives in Heaven and goes to school in the hopes of becoming a delivery angel one day! However her plan are compromised by her inability to do anything well except halo manipulation. Even flying is not easy for her. But a fateful meeting with a reaper sends her on a trip to Hell and back which changes her. Or is it that she had always been different?

It may not seem much from the banner but I tried it and I got hooke. The art is great and still improves over time, the plot takes a bit of time to set in - I’m still not sure it’s fully set in yet - but it’s worth it, and the characters are visually deep. It sometimes jumps weirdly between scenes or sequences but not so much it completely loses you.

LAMP/10

Letters on the Wall by JaelynGs [ongoing]

Tara comes back fom spain after a five years abroad to find things have changed and others haven’t, to her equal pleasure and dismay. This is how she and her friends deal with these old relatioships that they are now reviving.

Everything doesn’t go smoothly despite each and every character deserving them to. The art is good to begin with and manages to improve over time, as well as the storytelling. Where it might have been a bit hectic before, it smoothes over time. It was for the longest time the only reason I would stalk Webtoons everyday to see if there was any updates. Also each chapter has a colour in the name and that’s just cool!

If Da Yomanville Gang [see below] got me to come to Webtoons, this sealed the deal for me to stay. [And then there was Lore Olympus.]/10

Not So Shoujo Love Story by Curryuku [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Rei Chan-chan loves Hansum, the chin chin chinny goodest looking student, more than she loves her shoujo manga. But gorgeous Hannah is in her way and won’t seem to let her get her way with him. Why is that? Well, gaybe there’s a secret hidden behind her motives? Read it to find out...

It’s funny, it’s cute, and it’s so, so stupid. I love them all. It’s dumb but so much fun to read. There aren’t that many chapters yet but enough to get into it. Also, sisters. (You’ll understand when you get there. Bis) So this is what the spring of youth feels like, huh...

chips/10

Always Human by walkingnorth [completed]

Sunati, a young engineer in training, fan of all those mods you can add to change your appearance, meets Austen, a beautiful yet modless girl who she’s been admiring from afar for a while now. She thinks the girl’s beautiful, but sdly she’s refused when she asks her out on a date, and for rather good reasons.

Now watch as they gravitate around each other and how it influences them both.

It’s a slow-burn quite realistic lesbian sci-fi story about finding love and accepting oneself and others in the midst of life and all it brings upon us. It’s cute, it’s fluffy, and it’s heartwarming despite broaching serious subjects - in a good way -, and it’s finished so you can read the whole thing! (It has enough chapters to give you a few hours of reading)

hay fever sucks/10

Da Yomanville Gang by Jason King [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Layla moved recently, to get away from a dose of angst she didn’t want to have to deal with. She meets new people, fun and friendly people, but it seems the angst can’t quite seem to leave her alone. Alone is what she’s not to deal with it anymore, however.

This is the one, long before Lore Olympus, which brought bme over to Webtoons. It’s not the best drawn, not the most compelling, but the strong point and what made me love it - beyond Layla’s chara design - is the depth of most of the characters, how not all good is good and all bad is bad, and reality often lies in the middle - and how they evolve over the course of the story. Definitely worth a read.

wheelbarrow/10

Love Bot by Chase Keels and Miranda Mundt [ongoing - every Sunday]

In the near future - the year is (Blade Runner) 2049 - technology has advanced enough to creat pseudo-artificial intelligence and thus lovebots. Xada mods and repairs those emotionnaly intelligent robots for a living. What brings this story about is him toying with a less-than-friendly client’s bot so much so that he finds himself in quite a pickle when the bot ‘wakes up’.

It seems to be BL. Let it be BL, please! The art is very nice, the story feels dark but the pitch give way to many interesting possibilities, and, well, the characters are quite nice to look at, I’ll admit... Also, angst. I don’t always enjoy it but when I do, I do.

Not many chapters but it’s getting there.

i’ll let you bot my love/10

Mage & Demon Queen by Color_LES [ongoing - every Thusday]

Malori is the best and the most promising mage student at her school. Aided by Cerik, her best friend and swordsman party member, she attempts to conquer the last floor of the demon tower, reigned over by the ferocious Velverosa, the demon queen, whose defeat will bring glory and richess to those who defeat her. But all is not quite as it seems and, what is that, might it be a crush I see over there? Oh, wait, no, that’s just our protagonist getting squished by the weight of her love...

Once again, it’s fun and stupid (a pattern? noooo) but it’s worth a read.

LES/10

Down to Earth by Pookie Senpai [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Kade live alone and depressed in spite of fleeting relatioships since his big breakup, content with simply going by life while he works in retail. One day, an alien crashes into his backyard. Zaida’s an alien but she’s cute, seems innocent, is unfamiliar with everything, so he agrees to help. Thus begins a slice of life story of them roommating in his appartment until, maybe, one of them crashes into the other’s heart?

It’s cute, heartwarming, and I sort f relate with the main character. Although I don’t know if’d prefer a cute alien, a dragon or a stalking neighbour... [that’s an inside joke, I’ll explain if I ever make a list of the good yamete onii-chan! I’ve been reading] It’s a slow burn with enough depth to hook you up. Some characters are still uncertain in my eyes but that makes me curious.

loner/10

The Remarried Empress by Alphatart / Sumpul [ongoing - every Wednesday and Sunday]

Navier Ellie Trovi is an empress. Perfect and perfectly content in every way with her life until the day a mistress enters her husband’s life. Things sort of go downhill from there. Or do they? For she also learns about herself and what she might actually want out of life to be happy. Breaking the status quo might be the way.

It feels like one of those poor quality isekai comics or manga in which the MC is brought back to a time where she has the power to change her life and decides for emancipation and revenge, but it’s not. It’s more ‘yolo’ and had interesting characters, especially the MC - no pushover - and a slow-burn plot. Don’t expect to see the flash-forward in the first chapter quite yet, but come to experience the whole affaire in detail and in the most satisfying of ways! Also the art is cool!

divorce/10

Muted by Miranda Mundt [ongoing - every Friday]

On her 21st birthday, Camille fails the ritual to become a full-fledged witch and is isolated from what remains of her old and successful family. This leads to her discovering truths about herself and her powers that will change her and those around her.

By the same author as Love Bot. I haven’t read the whole thing yet but the designs are good, the plot is interesting, the characters have depth and personnality, it has witches, magic, romance [I guess, still unsure of the details though], a bit of angst, and it’s set in Louisianna. All good points.

plant magic/10

Cursed Princess Club by LambCat [ongoing - every Monday]

Gwendolyn and her sisters, each a princess in their own right, are set to be betrothed to three princes of a neighbouring country after living all their lives happy and sheltered with their father and brother. Unfortunately, Gwendolyn is not like her sisters - and brother, for that matter - in that her beauty is... less than conventionnal. Devastated by what outsiders think of her she escapes into the forest and meets kindred spirits in the form of the Cursed Princess Club - non-gendered, they also have that one prince there! - and it might just help her grow into the confident woman she is destined to become.

I clicked for the funny hahas ‘because she’s ugly’ and cursed princess trope, I stayed for the genuine laughs and smiles and the heartwarming good nature of most of te characters. Also, haha, funny characters are funny. So, yeah, I started this with a bias - still haven’t caught up yet - and have been seduced by this lesser known webtoon. Don’t let the visuals fool you, it’s really good!

respect wahmen/10

Andy Bass by KenneDuck / Gia [ongoing - every Friday]

Andy Bass is our average highschool girl. Litterally. She’s half human, half fish, a real mermaid but vertically. That leads to less-than-friendly looks and reactions from others. However, the arrival of a new, and frankly very cute, transfer student might change all that.

Haven’t read it all yet, not that there are many chapters out, but it feel fun and promising. Also, physically imperfect characters are best characters. Down with the reign of beauty and up with 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔪𝔲𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔪!

Chin Hansum 2.0/10

For the Sake of Sita by Haga [completed]

A medical student passionately falls in love with a fallen goddess during his volunteer abroad in Nepal, and he desperately tries to fight off destiny to save his love. [the actual summary]

Okay, I’ll be honest: I haven’t quite read that one yet. I’m guilty of only having looked at the beginning and the end to see if it seemed worth it and, oh my gorsh! it does. The art is beautiful, the story seems sad yet beautiful too (I had tears reading the last chapters without knowing much of the rest) and it’s short, so jump on it!

[I’ll probably come back to that later when I’ve actually read it completely]/10

Us Right Now by yurineseventeen [ongoing]

Rina's long-term girlfriend, Noa, decides to run away from home. Rina has limited time to find her.

Not much more to say other than it’s sweet and it feels real. I like the beginning, haven’t read the rest yet, but will definitely soon.

keep going/10

New Normal: Class 8 by Youngpaka [ongoing - every Sunday]

Dongwoon has a big head. It does not make life easy. But what if he wasn’t alone being so... different? He discovers it is the case when he joins his new school a special class full of people who are different. Things get weird fast but also better and fun.

I haven’t read this in a long time, it’s on my list though. But until the moment I stopped at least, it was fun, funny, and interesting. It’s slice-of-life comedy, often ligthearted and stupid, sometimes more serious, but globally a pleasure to read.

sensei/10

The Witch and The Bull by Moonsia [ongoing - every Thursday]

Tan's job as the King's royal advisor has nothing to do with his hatred for witches, but it does make him a prime target for a curse that turns him into a BULL! The only way to undo this hex is to rely on the beautiful witch, Aro. Can her kindness turn his feelings around, and break this spell? [the actual summary]

There are two bulls and they have to ask it questions to know which is the real bull? I dunno, I haven’t read this one... But it’s been recommnded by @berigolote​ so it’s worth a try I guess? She did recommend Lore Olympus to me, so it’s on my list anyway.

to try/10

The Right Knight and Our Days in Lumain by buttersphere [completed & ongoing]

A fun short comic about a play on the ‘knight comes to fight dragon to save princess in her tower’ trope and it’s sequel. The sequel is not finished yet (seems on hiatus) but they are worth the read for cute, funny, fluffy knight and dragon/witch romance and grumpy princesses.

need more/10

NetOL by Forever9Nine [completed]

A slice of life comic about a veeery shy cat-girl (not literally) falling in love with a warm-tempered bookshop employee ( and NOT her colleague), and all the shenanigans that ensue. It’s short, it’s fun, and it’s cute. What more to ask?

oh wow sports/10

Susuhara is a Demon by Soya S. Holm [ongoing]

The usual romance storyof perfectly perfect girl meets absolutely bazongers delinquent and reluctantly carries her unconscious ass to her appartment to help her after witnessing a gang fight between multiple idiots and her (future) idiot and saving her from a knife attack by bashing the last standing dude with a wooden shop sign. Legend says there’s a demon in K-city, I still am unsure of whom it might be.

fun/10

It Stems From Love by Soya S. Holm [competed]

A short story about a girl who loves flowers and finds herself unexpectedly coughing them up dramatically whenever she’s jealous of those around her crush. It’s short, it’s cute, a bit dark at times, but definitely worth a read!

bouquet final/10

Lesbiampires by fabarts [ongoing]

So, yeah, lesbian vampires. Nuffin’ ta add.

Well, anyway, it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s serious too, it makes me root for antihero type characters who actually murder people for fun (but in a fun and respectful way, I swear!) because, well, love./10

Perfect Harmony by bluebloodtanuki [ongoing]

An Overwatch fan-comic about Symmetra and her disaster roommates.

I don’t play Overatch but I like the lore and got dragged into fanfiction and shipping (by myself, mind you), so a fan-comic about similar dynamics AND it’s funny? Gimme.

Roadhog & Junkrat best duo/10

Love Doesn’t Talk by Ann [completed?]

A misunderstanding is fine. Two? Hmmm. Three? Surely that’s fate, no?

A cute love story unfolding before your eyes with no dialogue, only pretty pictures. I’m not actually sure it’s completed but even if it isn’t, the ending doesn’t feel disappointing in the least.

no words/10

AntiSTALKER by VOKIVORMOK [ongoing - every Thursday]

Humans, vampires and werewolves all cohabitate in this freaky highschool, despite tensions between the three races. A bittersweet yet fun love story between a fake stalker and his amnesiac prey...

Eugene wants Kira’s heart, she wants his head.

who?/10

Kiss It Goodbye by Ticcytx [ongoing]

Two lesbians in love recount to their drunk friends the story of how they met. It’s fun and cute, both in story and in art.

delinquent x prim&proper/10

Avril and the Divine Being by Charlie Genmor [ongoing]

Avril is a waitress, Cat is a reccuring client. Feeling blossom before they even exchange words and when they finally do, embarassment ensues.

I got hooked by the art style for this one and I have yet to be disappointed. Not many chapters but keep it close.

sunny/10

Sunflower by EtoileKonijn [ongoing]

Wednesday, an art student, meets Sophie, a friend of a friend. Feelings ensue. It’s beginning to have a good number of chapters (even if they are short) and it feels like it’s actually the slowest burn of them all. Very much worth a read though, for the art style especially.

cute/10

It Takes Two by love_of_pi [ongoing]

Common art style: imperfect but improving. Classic story: normal girl meets famous girl by accident and leave a great first impression. Shenanigans and romance ensue. However the tints of drama, the fun interaction between characters, and the smooth plot make it worth it.

Honolulu latte/10

A Mild Flavor by Ru-rin [ongoing]

A slice of life of different couples. One with a compromised relationship and bittersweet reflections of the past, and the other which is hidden from plain sight, at different times if life. It is not perfect but it managed to worm its way into my heart nonetheless.

tasty/10

The Greenhouse by Viesallon [ongoing]

Another one I haven’t read, but from the extracts I’ve seen the art is compelling, the story seems worth it - definitely deserves the drama tag it seems - and I keep it on my shortlist until I have time to read it.

supernatural/10

My Masochistic Boss by Arisas_Art [ongoing]

Debuting goth writer meets hellish boss of editing company about her new book. Disagreement and tensions ensue. It starts with a slap and might very well end in bed, stay tuned!

This one rebooted recently and the art is soooo beautiful, moreso than before is I may say.

sexy/10

Still Alive by Comic Kat19 [ongoing]

Half-zombie girl meets emo boy, baby ensues.

After the zombie apocalypse, they have to survive, and despite their differences, maybe together is better?

This I classify in the ‘Yuuutsu-kun to Succubus-san‘ category: a somewhat rough art style that I have come to love and enjoy greatly. Also the story is fun.

cat creature/10

The Biggest of Treasures by Aixn [ongoing]

That smile, that damn smile. It’s what got me to try and it got me to stay. The art style is beautiful and the chara designs is too. The plot? Not much to say yet, but cuteness is enough.

bright/10

---------- ---------- ----------

And there you go for now. These are my picks. I haven’t read everything on Webtoon, I haven’t even read everything I’ve subscribed to, but if I had to recommend anything I have tasted, here it is.

Sorry if I missed any you deem worthy; feel free to harass me and mock my lack of culture by flaunting your own.

Maybe more later, in the mean time: keep scrolling, scrub!

PART II

[life-rewritten]

SPOOKY/ NON SPOOKY BLS TO WATCH IN HALLOWEEN

Happy Spooky Season BL Fans! Honestly so sad that in Halloween we can't really fully enjoy it due to the pandemic out there. So why not stay at home and have a fun night in during this spooky month watching BLS with spooky/entertaining shows to get you into the spirits. Surprisingly there was a lot of shows from different countries I could add to this list. Join me and let me know what shows you plan to watch for this Halloween! 

Ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these shows/again? 

Korea

1. Antique

Ratings: 4/5 Genre/Themes: Psychology, Thriller, Bakery,  Bromance, Open ending/Happy ending. Country: Korea Verdict: Weirdly, this is one of my favourite BL movies, to be honest, most Korean movies just make me happy despite the sense that you can feel it's censored more than it has to be. Either way antique is so fun to watch, at first you're watching about this guy who hates cakes and sweets, but it is determined to start a bakery to find out some weird stalker who is kidnapping kids, and you're like wait what? As we delve deeper into his past, it becomes horrifying, terrifying and also just intriguing to find out what made him the way he is and how it's affected him psychologically. Add a twist of BL with someone who absolutely loves him and helps him with his bakery, and it's cute and lovely to see.

2. Method Ratings: 4/5 Genre/Themes: Psychology, Thriller, Romance, Tragedy, Acting industry, Internalised Homophobia Country: Korea Verdict: Korea is so good at producing these deep movies that really make you think and analyse whilst still having this haunting introduction to couples that are tragically affected by Internalised Homophobia in Korea. Method may seem like just an artistic story about two people who are being fake with each other, and it does seem that way at the end but when you actually look at it deeply you'd see it's a tragic love story about two people who couldn't fight society with their love for each other and decided to use facades to hide what truly happened. Anyway brilliant show, very thrilling and scary at times towards the ending especially about the psychology of Method actors and the struggle to differentiate  what's real vs what's acting when it comes to love and obsession?

Taiwan

History Hero/Obsessed

Ratings: 3.8/5 Genre/Themes: Gender bender, Rebirth, Ghosts,  Death,  Romance, Comedy, Happy ending Country: Taiwan Verdict: History is one of the best anthologies Taiwan produced for BL. And even the first history series are just as good as recent, whilst maybe more low budget and shorter, I still enjoy them as much as the other one. Hero is one that is actually not my most loved one, but it's heartwarming and also interesting to watch. It's a supernatural gender bender, with our main charcter's body taken over by his crush's girlfriend who we watch figure out the budding relationship between her boyfriend and the dead guy. It seems it would be tragic, or end in a heterosexual way but it doesn't, it does have a bitter sweet ending since we're seeing it from her perspective but our BL character's come out unscathed. Obsessed is one of my faves, also a rebirth story, our main character comes back to life and goes back in time after being betrayed by his lover determined to avoid him as much as possible only to realise that his lover is obsessed and determined to get them back together despite not understanding why he loves him. It's so fun to watch this show, and I enjoy the chemistry between Benjamin and Teddy. But yeh Halloween, mysterious deaths, rebirths and romance great times!

Chinese

Rebirth Ratings: 4/5 Genre/Themes: Rebirth, Romance, Historical,  Death, Drama, Royalty, Happy ending Country: Chinese Verdict: Absolutely so stoked with this drama, frustrated with censorship from China which prevented some scenes from being shown like the waterfall kiss, but it has a happy ending! Like what? I'm so happy because it's quite dramatic and has moments where it looks like would be tragic but I adore the romance between the King and his companion, and the way they're both loyal to each other. For Halloween this deals with death and reincarnation of our main character to return back and save the King from getting killed. Go watch it if you can find uncut link so worth it.

Untamed Ratings: 5/5 Genre/Themes: Zombies, Fantasy, Horror,  Romance, Happy ending, Rebirth, Death Country: China Verdict: Like I don't have to explain this one. Go watch it if you haven't. Tbh for Halloween I'm not going to be watching the show Untamed because I've seen it too many times, so I'll probably be crying over Wei Wuxian and Wang Ji's love with the audio drama (Season 3 especially) Whatever way you wanna watch Mo dao Zu shi: anime, book, tv show, audio drama, this is a masterpiece and so incredibly scary enough, supernatural enough and great enough for this Halloween. A masterpiece.

Guardian Ratings: 3.5/5 Genre/Themes: Supernatural, Romance, Rebirth, Horror, ,Bromance, Censored, Comedy, Mystery, Detectives Country: China Verdict: Guardian is so fun to watch but when I think of it's original source I get so upset with China and I just don't want to watch it especially that stupid ending. But for Halloween Guardian is the most Halloween like BL show there is, deals with demons, zombies, ghosts, etc Mysteries about aliens, humans and supernatural deities. And a painful romance that has amazing chemistry, acting and story behind it. Go watch it just for the fun cases the characters have to investigate each episode connected to the supernatural stuff.  Or go read the book and see what it was meant to be like.

Thailand 

Red wine in the Dark night Ratings: 3.5/5 Genre/Themes: Psychology, Thriller, Horror,  R rated, Tragedy, Vampire Country: Thailand Verdict: My first movie introducing me to Fluke and his incredible acting. But like this movie messed me up, I went into it like nice vampire/cute boy romance and halfway through I was like wtf?? It's incredible and dark to see this movie and for Halloween scary enough to contemplate and analyse so yeh a great spooky watch with shady, flawed characters traumatised to make choices to be with love.  Watch it for Fluke.

Blue Hour Ratings: 4/5 Genre/Themes: Psychology, Thriller, Horror,  R rated, Ghosts, Mystery Country: Thailand Verdict: This is another messed up movie with an amazing cast. Both Oab and Gun are like so great in this, and they are my ghost ship. This movie starts of like a romantic with drama BL movie, about like falling in love and meeting the right person and then it just gets twisted and starts to be horrifying. Again has a lot of shady, dark characters who do things that are just so unexpected. It will scare you well and Gun's performance as a winner. But we already know this about him. Go watch Gifted and Gifted Graduation (also spooky in my opinion for Halloween)

My dream Ratings: 3/5 Genre/Themes: Supernatural,  Fantasy, Romance,  Drama Country: Thailand Verdict:  Okay only adding this on the list because of its supernatural genre but I actually don't remember what this is about. All I can remember is the main love story is between Runway and his lover who he sees in his dreams due to a mysterious dream catcher given to him by his family to protect him. Yeh this is fantasy so good for halloween but it's actually not my favourite show, I remember disliking a lot of things about it apart from the second lead couple so yeh Meh. But for Halloween you can squeeze a watch and try and see if you like it.

Until We Meet Again

Ratings: 4.2/5 Genre/Themes:  Reincarnation,  Rebirth, Suicide,  Drama, Death, Romance, Mystery, Happy ending Country: Thailand Verdict:  Can’t believe I almost forgot about this, But this is a great thai BL series, one of the best ones actually if you’re okay with slow paced storyline but with depth, and interesting plot. I love all the couples on this show and it kept me on my toes with anxiety and worry about how it was going to end. Go watch this for Fluke again, as he is so amazing at his role of Pharm. Everyone else on this cast is also my favorite. Reasons for Halloween, this deals with the psychological trauama of death and suicde, and also deals with the consequences of reincarnation. Because of this the psychological breakdown and reveal of Pharm’s connection to Inn, is ver scary, worrying and frightful as you go deeper the story. We’re not sure where this will lead, but we know as an audience that it sure isn’t going to be a nice reunion with Inn and Korn whenever the latter finds the truth about why they’re dead. Yeh towards the last three episodes it’s almost close to being a thriller, so much angst, drama and pain and fear for our character’s lives, will make this a scary but not scary Halloween watch for sure. 

Greater man academy Ratings: 5/5 Genre/Themes: Gender bender, Fantasy, Unicorns  Romance, Competitive all-boys school, Happy ending, Plot twists Country: Thailand Verdict: Can I just praise how genius this series is. Because no one else doing so it's understandable it's hard to find the subs because Nadao refuses to release it on its platform. Either way seeing Nadao mentioned as the producers makes you know this is incredible. From acting, to story telling, to directing, to dynamics, to the romance. I am in awe of greater man academy and I will never stop speaking about how I wish more BLs was like this. Add she's the man (the movie or twelfth night by Shakespeare) and BL tropes to this and you get greater man academy, Except this show is different, 3 dimensional characters that will take your breath away from the amount of plot twists written for their characters, romances that will keep you on your toes with anticipation and mystery and the suprising fact that this ends up as a BL when it didn't need to is what shocks me still to this day. Go watch it I don't want to spoil anything else. Just watch it. For Halloween we have magical unicorns with wish granting abilities, ghosts and other fantasy themes in the academy for the great men.

He's coming to me Ratings: 4.5/5 Genre/Themes: Ghosts, Mystery,Slice of Life,  Romance, Comedy, Happy ending Country: Thailand Verdict:  I've already talked about this show on here as well. But again just go watch it, it's incredible a bit slow paced but it's worth it. I just want more shows like He's coming to me, the whole supernatural world building was fantastic, the mystery, the plot, the love story between our main guy who sees ghost and his ghost best friend, and him learning to embrace his identity and sexuality. Brilliant. Also again Ohm Pawat is in this so are you shocked and Singto as well who is amazing.

The Shipper Ratings: 4/5 Genre/Themes: Death, Gender bender, Mystery,, Tragedy, Comedy, Romance Country: Thailand Verdict: Didn't know if I should add this here but there is a heavy supernatural theme to it, and it does have BL despite the fact that could be questioned but I love Way and Kim, and I think the actors are great and the plot is actually good for most of it, there are some issues with the show but honestly if the ending was better It would be a favourite of mine in 2020. Sigh. Halloween there's death, and the lore surrounding death and mystery about why it and how the circumstances our main character is happened, and it keeps you on your toes. Ohm Pawat that's it another reason and First and Fluke were incredible in this. Girl actresses were also good. And it's directed and written by the writer of the girl from nowehere, so that's another positive. (Must watch for Halloween if you haven't yet not BL)

Other recommendations: Bite fight, Niyamruk, Ghost boyfriend, Ghost Roomamate, Fanatic Love.War of Highschool 

That;s the list I’ve compiled. Probably missing like other spooky ones because I’m a wimp and horror aint my thing, Romance is. So here you have some shows mixing the two in a non squeamish way for me.  What about you guys how’s your Halloween season and planning going? Have fun!

[otomelavenderhaze]

I was actually feeling pretty guilty in liking the “Seduce the Villain's Father” because of how the story starts off with a kidnapping and the marrying situation, that I will explain further. Not mentioning that Yenni, the female lead, has a real need to be around Eru, the male lead, if she doesn’t, she could die, like literally. Btw, spoiler alert ahead from the light Novel and the Manhwa.

So convenently and in a very pushy matter, everything on the plot try to tie them up together in the start.

The kidnapping and the marriage proposal from her part are the strings that tie Yenni and Eru together, so they would know one another better and actually fall in love. If wasn't for that, they wouldn't have spend any time together because, at first, there is no reason to. Then we found out that Yenni is sensitive to manaa and Erudian's devine's powers are the quickest and the harmless way to keep her from dying, since all she needs literally is stand besides him to get energized by it.

And basically that's when Yenni comes up with the marriage thing that I mentioned before, yep, she asks him to marry her numbers of times throughout the manhwa hoping that he could say yes... Because he is the perfect medicine for her condition and because she wants to save him... It's not because she is in love with him.

So the marriage for her is more a matter of convenience, than love. Which, I need to admit, bugged me so much at first.

But then I understood why they did it when I read the Light Novel and saw some of the spoilers.

Eru was bond to marry the real Villain from the history, Elard, for polititcal reasons. Elard’s plan is marry him for his divine power, so through their son, she could create a path that would lead her to control someone that has divine and dark power together (since she does have dark powers, that Eru KNOWS NOTHING OF). Her goal is reach the god’s world and be powerful. Of course, she would make their son kill his father, Eru.

Yep, my boi Erudian was bond to die by the ends of his own child, all planned by Elard that actually wants to kill Eru since the beginning.

Erudian is afterall, a direct descendent of the god Raulus, the being with the strongest divinity power and his children would also be born with those powers. That's what Elard wants, like I already said.

Yenni knows that, because that world actually belongs to a novel that she read in her previous life and got in by mistake after dying in another world (our world).

When she got into the novel’s world, she knew everything that could happen, everybody that would eventually die or suffer through it.

Starting for her pregnant sister that would be kidnapped by Eru, that kinapping would trigger a chain of events that would basically deeply hurt Yenni's new family and other characters around her, that she cares about because a) she read their sad story on her previous life and b) because now they're ppl that cares for her in this new life, so she cares for them too. 

Interesting thing tho: Yenni should be a side-side-side character, she is a such minor character that none of those sad and hurtful events would actually harm her. So she could've lived a peaceful and good life if she wanted to.

DESPITE THAT Yenni, instead of letting Eru kidnapping her sister, hid her sister and tried to hide from him - but Eru actually found Yenni and kidnapped her, since his goal all along was just kidnapping someone from the royal family to use as hostage. I guess what he wanted was some vantage in an economic and political situation that Yenni's country created with his own, so that he would make tbe negotiations go his way. 

I don’t know, the whole thing is complex, but I guess, Eru isn’t what you could exacly call as a good person or a benevolent Emperor.

He is actually kind of a jerk. 

And problematic. I admit. 

He never learned to have emphaty towards others, - since he became the Emperor in a young age and since he had no family around him that could've taught him how and care about something else besides the country’s political's interests. 

With that, the romance was really settle in a weirdly way for me, very pushy, despite the art being so soft and the characters being really interesting, I was worried for where it would go from there. 

Since yeah, Erudian is a jerk. Kidnapping. Marriage by convenience. Not really the most promising mix. 

However, I think that Yenni is the character that really makes the difference on that type of plot. 

She was really well placed and well thoughtout. Everything Yenni does comes from a base of personal interest, she have strong motivartions for everything, she’s quite brave too despite the weakness of her body and petite figure. 

But most than anything, Yenni feels strongly responsible towards those characters because of what she knows all the awful/harmful things that could come out from the plot without her interference. And since he’s the only one that really knows the extension of their traumas, she feels responsable for doing something about it, not only for them, but also for herself. 

Look, Eru won't always act like a hero, but Yenni always acts like one. 

She isn't a genius, her plans fails and she don't really get always the outcome that she wants, but Yenni don't stop trying, because it's not only about Erudian's survival, it's about her survival too, it's about not letting someone meet a horrible fate when you have the means to do something about it.

Even so Yenni isn’t hopeless good. 

She chooses to act upon the things that she knows that going to happen. 

She isn't pushed towards it only for morality, it's for survival, it's for taking the chance and making a choice for the a better outcome, because despite being kidnapped by Erudian and him not being the most benevolent Emperor, dying by the hands of your own alienated/corrupted child and letting that same child be born to hurt her sister's baby girl (the actual heroin of the Light Novel that Yenni read before), is out of question to her.

But I will give it to Eru: everything he does towards Yenni is actually a reaction of things that he observe her doing. 

He starts to take the action only after taking a like for her as a person. He doesn't care for her just because. He cares because she is something that he feels responsible for, someone that depends on him (since he was the one that kidnapped her) in a more personal matter than the rest of his subjects.

Yenni, on the other hand, since their first encounter, make him step back with every action and choice that she makes. 

Yenni shaked his whole world with her determination, honesty and endearing careless manner, he sees everything good on her, everything he lacks himself and he loves it.

There is a moment on the Light Novel when even Yenni's plan of make Erudian marry her starts to backfire, because she actually starts to fall in love for real for him.

And the story progress to a point where: a) Yenni could be cured of her sickness without actually having to marry Erudian to do so; b) When Eru actually learns that Elard is trying to harm him and will not marry her no matter what and c) Yenni has the chance to come back to her country and be free from Eru and never having to meet him again if she wants to.

Despite that, and maybe because the same circumstances that put them together starts to force them to be apart, they actually do the last step to be together. 

That's when their first kiss happens. When the ppl that are meant to take Yenni back home are at their doors and Erudian is thorn for having to be apart from her, because, dammit, he loves her already.

Erudian fells in love for Yenni, cuz she is harmless, he can relax around her and she actually makes him feel like having a good time, because she is so cheerful, always teasing and playing around, so different from how anyone has ever treated him, that he simply fell for her. 

From Yenni’s side, Eru is actually far more unpredictable, far more fun and far more caring than she expected him to be, not mentioning that he is quite helpless without her, which is so cute as well. 

So they get apart from one another by 2 years on the light novel. 

On those two years they only exchange latters. Yenni has no obligation to marry Erudian and she is out of his hands, despite that, and despite having plenty of suitors around her, Yenni still chooses Erudian.

So he tries to propose to her this time (WHAT GOES AROUND COMES BACK AROUND, SON), despite Yenni’s country having nothing that could be beneficial to his country and despite her family hating his guts (haha, karma).

And just like that, they fixed the main issues of the story. 

Mind you, this will happen in THE MIDDLE of the Manhwa.

Maybe the writer was mindful of all those plot's issues since the start, all the things that ppl are sick of and so many other Manhwas have no issue on doing, the writer decided to actually fix while delivering character's and relationships development.

I just love this surprise, I love Yenni's journey for survival, love and pursuit for her own happy ending. How everybody points her to be the weakest, but she still stands for what she wants and believe to be right, how brave and kind she is despite of being so powerless and how she changed everything around her, how she saved herself and the ones around her.

I saw a lot of ppl calling her clingy and boring, just because she isn't a villainess, but they failed to see that woman is normally perceive as the weakest and that's when we can take the stand and show our strongest resolves. That's why I loved the story so much.

I'm still so obsessed with it, I can't wait to see everything in the manhwa that btw, still has a really long way to go, even the light novel trasnlating still hasn’t catch up with all the spoilers that I caught on by other’s ppl translate from random events from the light novel in korean - that is done for what I heard of, the autor is just releasing side stories now. 

It's a really good, strong and heartwarming love story, I love all the characters, I love how everything changed it's flow accordingly with the changes that Yenni caused and the new choices that all the characters made. It's shows that it's never too late to change, to take action and find happiness through diversity and pain.

Maybe that's why I'm so invested on it, because Yenni's and Erudian's love surprised me in the best of ways.

[homosexualadventure]

every single lmam song, ranked.

i just finished listening to let’s make a music for the first time, and Oh My God it rocks. it’s a great podcast and if you’re reading this without having listened to it...i don’t know what to tell you. i don’t know what you think lmam means. but, that aside, if you haven’t listened to it yet: go listen to it! it’s not a crazy long podcast, overall or episode length-wise, so it’s manageable even for people who usually can’t handle podcasts (like me!) anyways, now that it’s over, what’s left for me to do with my time and energy that i used to spend thinking about lmam?

listen to the episodes again so that i can rank all fourty-one songs from worst to best, of course. so that’s exactly what i did.

i mostly ranked these on my gut feeling, because i didn’t come up with the idea of ranking it on a set of points before like...five minutes ago. there’s a bit of personal bias in here, so if you disagree with me on rankings, hey! send me an ask, or a dm. we can talk about it. 

so, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into it! let’s...make a ranking. haha. that’s just a fun little lmam joke for you. 

41. the roquefort stank

this song only gets points for laura’s stanky noises in the background. i love laura.

40. shan’t he shanty

weirdly catchy. for a sea shanty, that is. that’s all i have to say.

39. well, i’m on child...

i do love a good gay song about polyamory but it just wasn’t enough in this case. truly heartbreaking. 

38. dog trash

i’m not a big fan of polka in general. that’s all i have to say. i don’t have to explain all my decisions. this is my journey. and it’s your journey that you’re taking with me.

37. echoes of wednesday

it’s not my favorite but i do think it’s sweet and i like all the laura vocals. also the zuko vocals. 

36. brothers in legs

not their best character song but it’s still a song you could quietly headbang to. i just don’t love full story ballads (there is an exception to this, you’ll see) most of the time. 

35. ol’ tim’s tricks

i’m not saying it’s a bad song, i’m just saying it sounds like it was once in a made for tv disney channel-esque movie about a girl who finds her calling in sports and friendship.

34. don’t give me that altitude

very queen-esque with general 80s vibes and i like that.

33. dreamless

if it was longer i think it would be a lot higher on the list, because it’s Good. but i don’t feel right putting a 45 second song above, like, tobie’s razor. still! i love the mellow, kind of sad and eerie tones of it.

32. holiday crime!

look i know this one’s fairly low on the list, hear me out: it’s a good song and it’s pretty memorable as well! but as far as holiday songs go, i don’t think it’s their best or most iconic one. laura’s laughing and beat in the back is absolutely wonderful and heartwarming, though.

31. mr. dad

this one gets a higher rating than the previous holiday song for its good good harmonica and because when i heard the lyrics “but you love to watch him go” used to describe mr. dad i almost toppled my chair backwards with me still in it.

30. mourning ritual

the biggest load of 1980s bullshit i’ve ever heard in this decade. somehow it’s also got a big panic! at the disco vibe and i’m not sure how i feel about it but it’s definitely Strongly There and i can’t deny it.

29. outback sadhouse

it’s RIDICULOUS how well they nailed the sufjan stevens vibe with this one. plus the restaurant dialogue bit in the back of the song really adds a lot. 

28. let down my better dynamite

it’s really easy to bop to and the instrumental in the background is FANTASTIC! jonah really killed it with this one. plus they talk a lot about rats in the episode which is nice for me because i love rats. also it’s the first episode with an instance of “brian does a bit”.

27. the tale of the greazzy creek

i just think it absolutely nails the vibe of a rural campfire grizzled old cowboy song while also being a really catchy theme song. like, i think you could’ve snuck it into holes (2003) and i would’ve been like, yeah, that sounds right. 

26. turn around and come down slowly

not one of their more iconic songs but brian’s voice is so pretty in this and it’s really soothing. 

25. ratless randy’s

i don’t know why it’s this high on the list either, but it is. ratless randy’s really IS the place to be, guys.

24. tobie’s razor

i will be honest. when i saw the title for this episode for the first time i just thought “occam’s razor” and as i type this i can’t even think of what that actually is, so..... anyways, i’d say this song absolutely NAILS the vibe but i have no idea what vibe it’s even remotely related to. certainly does nail the internal childhood monologue though. i think this song is the first one where they really started hitting their stride, also. not that it’s better than some of the earlier ones, but this one forward their songs were pretty consistently high quality. plus, and no one will be surprised by this by now, it gets extra points for laura. 

23. armoire of royals

it’s weird, it’s synthy, has a vaguely billie eilish-esque part near the end which is not necessarily a point in favor depending on your taste but it Definitely is surprising and cool, and it’s got fake british accents. what more do you need out of a song?

22. sybil’s night scare

the piano in this is perfect and fantastic and the comedic timing in the song is just right. jonah’s delivery of “they’re actually real human eyes” is so goddamn good and his singing is Also great and frankly i think we can all agree we’re fucking tired of him saying he can’t sing. i mean, i assume (i fucking hope) he’s stopped saying that by now considering he had the majority of vocals on silo by a bit but Still. it’s a good peppy halloween-y song.

21. chalice for your thoughts

two spooky songs in a row! honestly, i’m not sure what reasons i have for ranking this song as high as i did. i just like it a lot. they were able to include a lot of weird twitter suggestions fairly seamlessly, and it’s just soft and pretty. spooky, but still pretty. 

20. 21st blitheday

i admit it: i fucking hate the voice brian uses in this. but i really, really like the song. the beat’s very good and somehow brian still manages to sing the chorus well and make it sound nice even though his affectation is Stupid as hell <3 the background whistling is nice and his robot voice, which he’s used for several of his videos but i think most notoriously for scrundler in his week in revue series (here), is also featured. it’s a real bop, i think.

19. monday night boomball

i genuinely think this is their weirdest song, ever. it’s incomprehensible and it’s so fucking theatre kid of them, and it’s dumb as shit but it’s really funny and enjoyable and strange and i love it.

18. gentle light

this is a really good song. it’s not weird or funny, it’s genuinely just a really soft, calming, normal song. i can’t in good conscience rank it above the others for this reason, because it’s easier to make a regular song good than it is for a song about fucking a tree, but i want to be clear: i really love this song. it’s a song that you could fall asleep to, cry to, cuddle up in a blanket to, whatever the hell you want to do to it.

17. proud egg mouth

extra points for fitting the word “maw” in any kind of song, a feat i’m not sure anyone else has ever accomplished. also for brian actually singing with an egg in his mouth.

16. you can take that to the bank

brian does an incredible randy newman impression and i love him for it. also it’s just a good song! it’s not my favorite but it’s very pleasing to my ears and it’s well made.

15. rainbow trout eggs

i listened to a shit ton of colbie caillat in middle school and i can tell you with confidence that the lyrics “i feel so alive and i know that i’m happy na na na na na hey hey” would be in one of her songs. it’s a good song with completely ridiculous lyrics and it’s a better character/full story ballad than their previous ones, in my opinion. which is what you’re specifically here for!

14. car mitzvah

i think this is a song my dad would listen to if it came on the radio. i also think it deserves to be in an early 90s or maybe coming of age movie. brian’s vocals are fantastic in this, also.

13. dr. brims

“it’s a new year, Ha Hah!” this song is sooooo fucking funny and exemplary of a lot of their other songs that came afterwards. i’ve been saying that a lot i think. writing reviews is hard.

12. let’s make a music (theme song)

maybe it’s the emotional value of this song being the song i associate most with the podcast, since it’s the theme song, or maybe it’s just really good. (spoiler: it’s both but mostly the second one) the episode is also really funny in general and if you’re new to the podcast and don’t care about order, i highly recommend this one first! 

11. heartbreak in michael’s

a very very very good sad gay love song and i recommend it to the ends of the earth! because this is the internet, and i can!

10. arbor day!

you try making a horny song about deforestation.

9. why don’t you like our song title?

such a fucking bop and showcases their skill for just doing whatever the hell they want and STILL making a fantastic song or video or whatever. they just stop saying words in it and it does not take anything away from the song. could you do that? i mean...maybe! but for the sake of this review and my point i’m gonna be like fuck you no you couldn’t. moving on.

8. akimbo

the backing track in this is ABSOLUTELY what makes the song. plus that one video of brian strutting but technically that can’t affect my review of the song because Technically it’s not part of the song. anyways it’s really peppy and fun and enjoyable and Good.

7. heartbreak in michael’s (reprise)

it’s the perfect finale song. like, it genuinely sounds like the song that plays at the end of a romcom after everything’s finally worked out. i Did cry when i heard brian sing the theme song at the end but that’s just because i’m a sentimental son of a bitch. so besides that ending bit that i can(’t) guarantee will make you tear up at Least, it’s really fucking fun! it’s upbeat and happy and i think they made the right song to go out on. or to go on a hiatus on, if brian’s website is to be believed. i don’t believe it, but hypothetically, y’know? hypothetically...

6. debutaunt ball

if the met gala doesn’t make this their theme song i will personally burn next year’s event to the ground, i swear to god. also it’s a good song to show off both jonah and brian’s range. it’s not like a lot of their other songs but it’s SUCH a banger and i adore it.

5. madame zamporium’s wax emporium 

fuck yeah. learning that the “ooh come on baby” from several unraveleds came from a let’s make a music is the reason i finally started listening to the podcast in the first place. but BESIDES that, since that’s not a reason for my ranking (just a fun little fact about me!), this song slaps a ridiculous amount. they went insanely hard and it’s the first song they made that really sets the tone of the podcast, which is: great comedy, great high production music. 

4. alan rickman’s edible zoo

GOD! the anti-celebrity, anti-capitalist rock song i’ve been waiting all my fucking life for! also it’s anti-america but only in one lyric. but in Another sense....throughout the whole song. PLUS, and most importantly, it features jonah’s literally and i mean LITERALLY impeccable alan rickman impression. like, it’s fucking bulletproof. alan rickman was in the goddamn room. 

3. horsecar!

look. when this song started playing for the first time i went...fuck no. in general i don’t tolerate country or cowboy songs very well because they just don’t sound appealing to my ears most of the time. i put up with country road only because of a funny mario edit someone made of it and now the original song has more value to me. this is relevant only because the same thing happened with horsecar! in that the chorus KICKS ASS. i may make a post on just my favorite lmam songs and also this is already a crazy long post so i won’t go into it too much but i will say this. the shock value of going from the first verse in this song to the chorus is...........Incredibly high and it Works So Fucking Well! it literally makes the song. and not even just for the short term value of Oh My God That’s A Twist, it lasts through the whole song. i’m listening to the song as i type this and i’m currently at the country/cowboy part and i don’t hate it because i know the chorus is incredible. in fact, i’d argue that the chorus on its own may be the best thing lmam ever made, even better than my two actual favorite songs of theirs. i’m definitely going to have to make a full post on this. (SIDE NOTE: BRIAN’S VOCALS ARE FUCKING CRAZY AND HORSECAR! IS ONE OF THE BEST EXAMPLES OF THIS. his goddamn RANGE!! SIR!!! his falsetto is literally ridiculous my pants are OFF)

2. dragon me to this wedding

this is what i meant when i said there’s an exception to the “i’m not generally a fan of full story ballads”, because this is one of my all time favorite lmam songs. as in, it’s in the top three. which i guess you can tell from it being number two in the top three. in fact, it’s probably one of my favorite songs in general. the first time i listened to the episode i went back and listened to the song again three times in a row, and all three times i cried real tears. it’s GAY it’s REALLY PRETTY and i LOVE IT. 

1. save 2 4 tony

so we’ve finally made it to my all-time favorite lmam song. maybe it’s that i recently graduated myself and so this song hits a little harder, but it also just GOES hard. i genuinely think they peaked when they recorded this. it’s one of those bdg songs where you’re listening to it, you’re just chilling, and it’s like “yeah wow this is nice!” and all of a sudden he hits a falsetto and you go “oh FUCK that guy can SING!” literally his vocals in this are incredible and it’s very fun (and on brand) that the Oh Fuck moment here is the line “tony hawk babeyyy!” plus jonah killed it on the backing and composition and everything. it’s the best let’s make a music song and i won’t take constructive criticism.

[non-sequitura]

Non-sequitura Disney in-depth analysis (after making a tier list)

Warning: SUPER longform. If you don’t know a movie well, you should skip the summary. I tried to be light on spoilers, but they’re there.

I went chronologically from favorite to least favorite. So S tier is, in order from fave to least fave, The Incredibles, WALL-E, then Zootopia.

S tier (Something I consider high quality AND a movie I greatly enjoy. I would love more Disney movies be like this.)

The Incredibles - one of my favorite movies of all time, possibly THE favorite. Rockin social commentary, epic action scenes, memorable characters, not a minute of screentime wasted, great take on the Fantastic Four, hilarious parts for both adults and children, an interesting villain, etc. 

WALL-E - I love how social commentary was done here. Also skies above, what a beautiful love story. Really blazed a trail in non-verbal storytelling (especially given it was an animated kids film!) Robot animations are particularly delightful. 

Zootopia - another social message delivered excellently and entertainingly. I love Judy and her persistence, I love the expressiveness of the faces and the epic city setting. I love Judy and Nick's banter. This movie deserves to be remembered longer than it has been so far. Admittedly, not one of my fave villains, which makes it my least favorite of the Ss. 

A tier (either super high quality or something I greatly enjoy and deem of at least reasonably good quality)

Mulan - this movie did everything right. Truly feminist protagonist, an icon for strong Asian women, fairly culturally accurate (tho Mushu confuses me), GORGEOUS and iconic music. Lets a relatively natural romance develop. I frickin love the action scenes, I love the emporer. Sadly, this movie just didn't lodge its way in my heart as well as Pixar did. Pixar just has some magic, yo. 

Cinderella - my gosh what an underrated protagonist. Her family straight-up abuses her and she never loses sight of her goals for a better life. Iconic visuals helped bring Disney out of bankruptcy. A gorgeous alto singing voice. 

Wreck-it Ralph - alright alright ppl don’t crucify me for this. I honestly can’t think of much wrong with this movie. Vanellope and Ralph’s vitriolic best buds relationship is adorable, her forgiveness of him is heartwarming and (relatively) deserved, rockin’ Owl City song, epic visuals that mix together bc of all the different games. ALSO ONE OF THE BEST DISNEY VILLAINS NO CAP. One of the only twist villains I like. And we stan the romantic pairing. 

Tangled - I’ve talked about this a lot, but Rapunzel deserved the whole world after what she’s gone through. That being said, Gothel is not some shallow monster she needs to escape from, but an intelligent, well-defined monster with backstory. I could totally see this story happening if the world of Tangled existed. Epic love story, hilarious dialogue. Music is… good but much of it is less memorable to me. Visuals are good but not quite at the level/creativity of many other disney films. 

The Lion King - they really put Hamlet in Africa and pulled it off lol. But in all seriousness, no one took the premise of this film seriously at the time and it became sooo iconic. I love Scar and his eventual downfall, I love how Simba grows emotionally, I love the sad moments that don’t overpower the overall feeling of light goofiness. And music so memorable it was one of the first Disney musicals. 

Coco - not a super unique story premise. But an incredible culture to explore with such creativity and sensitivity. I love the themes of death not being the worst and music being so central to the story. Twist/twist villain was memorable and not expected. And yeah, it did make me cry, so props there. 

Ratatouille - the most recently watched of these films for me. This movie is soooo unique! Back when Pixar was truly super out there with their concepts. Super Parisian visuals and soundtrack. It somehow starts goofy (THE OLD LADY TRIES TO KILL REMY WITH A SHOTGUN WHILE WEARING A GAS MASK) but really drives home the message that you can truly do what you want regardless of who you are. Colette can get it. And the monologue by Ego at the end is one of my favorites in film. 

Frozen - Anna is one of my favorite Disney protagonists. She’s so resilient and loyal. Elsa ain’t bad either but she experiences… less character development. The film is a tad too pleased with its own self-awareness for my taste, but there’s no denying how iconic the music and visuals were. 

Inside Out - Alright, this movie hits home for me bc I tried to run away after moving. A super thoughtful, heartfelt depiction of (potentially depression? imo) with great moments of humor. Riley’s inner world is so creative and lovely. Also realistic depictions of Minnesota/California culture. 

Tarzan - Jane! is! smart! and! adorable! Her scientific curiosity makes her very endearing. it’s so cute to see her and Tarzan learn from each other. Also Tarzan’s “found mother” is epic. Solid score. Solid film all around. To quote Lily Orchard, “This film is what Pocahontas tried to be.” 

B tier (one of my favorites but has a few significant flaws that bring it down (or not quite as memorable to me, but consider good quality))

Peter Pan - Haven’t seen it in a hot sec, but I remember being super charmed by this as a kid. Just going out, having incredible adventures, and returning to a warm home at the end of the day. Tinker Bell is hilarious and beautifully drawn. Gets major negative points for the depiction of Native Americans tho. 

Big Hero 6 - I was super charmed by the protagonist, his family/friends, and the setting. The plot/villain’s motivations are a bit of a mess, though. 

Princess and the Frog - This movie has so much flavor to it! The visuals/music are lovely and unique. Tiana is incredible but it’s kinda annoying how EVERYONE keeps trying to shoehorn her into romance. The thing is, her goals are entirely reasonable. Focus on her restaurant, then look to settle down. But they’re like “nooo you’re ignoring the important things in life” smh. Also, epic villain, woohoo! The movie dragged significantly for me when they were in the bayou. Charlotte is delightful. 

Winnie the Pooh - don’t remember it super well, but I think it was charming and occasionally dark, which is an addictive concoction. 

The Little Mermaid - MAN ppl roast Ariel way more than she deserves. Visually, it was… fine. idk. This movie is good. I don’t have much else to say about it. 

Snow White - the one that started it all. Visually, super impressive. Musically, lovely. I find the romance a bit… off. Well, more than a bit. What is it with Disney and kissing sleeping people? 

Alice in Wonderland - a nerdy acid trip. Right up my alley! I also like films where ppl go on incredible adventures and return to the status quo, but THEY changed bc of it. Epic. SUUUUPER creative visual interpretation of Carroll’s book. Brave - gosh I loooove films where a parent and child learn to understand each other. Never got why ppl hated this movie so much. The Scottish flavor is present and fun. Merida made one mistake and made it up. The arrow scene is iconic. 

Cars - a fun ride! (hahaha puns.) We love seeing Paul Newman as a car. 

B-minus tier? (same as B, but problematic, or weaker story-wise.)

Hunchback - man… settings-wise, this film might be my favorite. I also love Esmeralda and Quasimodo as characters and as a duo (though the sexualized depiction of Romani ppl is not epic.) I also don’t find the discrimination against Esmeralda/Quasimodo jarring bc it matches the time period. Frollo is super interesting as a villain. The gargoyles are… def not necessary. Basically, this film doesn’t know what it’s doing with tone. 

Sleeping Beauty - Aurora was my favorite when I was younger because I thought she was the prettiest, and that still defines how i feel about this, basically. Visually lovely - everything is kind of elongated and gothic. Maleficent is spiteful and epic. I have no issue with the fluffier parts of the movie, like the music or the fairies. RIP for lack of consent being a plot point, though. 

Hercules - Megara is incredible. one of the only Disney “princesses” who acts like an adult and has cynicism as a major part of her personality. I love her and Herc’s progression where she learns to trust him (yes, he is genuinely that sincere, it’s not a front.) Muses are unique, whoever came up with them was high on something and I’m living for it. I just think the plot itself was somewhat unrealistic/ weirdly-paced. There are some memorable songs, some less-than-memorable songs. Art style is cool but I’m personally not a fan. EXTREMELY inaccurate depictions of the original Greek gods. 

C tier (entertaining, but I don't consider it a great movie)

Bolt - I watched this like 11 years ago. It was fun! A cool concept about those put on a pedestal learning their worth even without celebrity boosting them up. Animation was… fine I think. not super memorable to me. 

Frozen 2 - They really took any scrap of character development Elsa had in the first movie, threw it in the garbage and set it on fire. Anna deserved so much better. Songs are bombastic and impressive, have the occasional interesting lyric, but are really weirdly placed and none are quite as iconic as the first movie’s (except Aurora, she does great work here. Also the song Anna sings after she thinks Elsa died.) 

Not a big fan of the vaguely homeopathic theme. Not a big fan of Olaf’s WEIRD character development. Not a big fan of the suuuuuper awkward dialogue and the animations that imply not only that Kristoff is into his reindeer but that Elsa and Anna are into each other (if you’re questioning if they did that, yes, they did, I can find screenshots of some really weird expressions/moments. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PANDER TO YOUR WEIRD FANS, DISNEY.) 

The voice actors did great work, the animators did great work (look at the details on their clothes! Look at how Elsa’s posture changes to be more confident! look at how they're animated while they're singing!) Some weird costume/makeup choices that make Elsa look like an aging starlet, but she also has some gorgeous moments so eh. It’s a wash for me. 

They really did not know what to do with Kristoff this movie, huh. The only thing that happened to him was singing a cheesy 90s ballad and marrying Anna, both of which were admittedly epic. Also, the trolls got 0 appearances despite being literally psychic. Probably could have helped with a lot. I'm not a huge fan of lore/worldbuilding, and thee was a lot of it here. Overall neutral on it. 

Also a big theme in this movie I don’t love - **** TANGIBLE CONSEQUENCES TO OUR ACTIONS!!! The danger is Elsa’s death, the elements, colonialism, and Arendelle literally being destroyed. None of those end up playing out, so I was left at the end going “this film had literally no stakes.” 

Monsters U - same as above - entertaining at the time! Not super memorable. The ppl we were supposed to dislike kept switching. Doesn’t really match the canon of Monsters Inc (I thought they were supposed to have known each other since childhood so why did they meet in college?) 

Cars 3 - so apparently, everyone HATED this movie! Fun! I never watched Cars 2 (yes watched Cars 1 if you haven’t been paying attention to this list), but I didn’t think this movie was bad at all. Well-acted, some fun chase scenes, the scene where Lightning fails at driving in the simulation is genuinely hilarious, and some interesting perspectives on teachers getting the spotlight for their skills for once. 

Incredibles 2 - I liked this film at first, but then it was… just okay in retrospect. I love me some good family dynamics. The plot here makes not a lot of sense. THEY BUILT UP THE UNDERMINER FOR NOTHING AND THEN FORGOT ABOUT HIM. I was surprised by the villain swap, but it happened so last minute I never really understood their motivations even after they explained them. Tried to tackle waaaay too many messages. 

D tier (I didn't enjoy these or consider them mediocre)

Finding Dory - Maybe I should have put this higher? Like C tier at least. Ah well. Wasn’t a huge fan of the body/physical comedy (not my thing), but it was entertaining and awww finding family is heartwarming. 

Finding Nemo - I remember nothing about this movie. 

E tier (this film has significant problems)

Beauty and the Beast - *sigh*… I want to love this movie. The score is gorgeous. Visually, they could have made it more distinctly Rococo-era France but didn’t (why?) The voice actors did good work and I think Paige O’Hara is SUPER underrated here. 

The Beast is emotionally manipulative with an awful temper that (for MOST of the movie. He doesn’t change.) That’s the main reason this is in E tier. This movie shaped so many generations of people thinking they can change the behavior of someone who treats them badly through the power of love. But you can’t. She learns to “love” the beast under coercion. It’s not Stockholm syndrome - it’s a trashy romance novel. Big fan of Gaston as a villain. He’s an archetype ppl can recognize and it’s so satisfying to hate him.

F tier (I think this film actively harms the industry and would rather it not have been made. Both the one in E tier could be considered harmful to the industry, but I think they had significant enough artistic accomplishments to scrape above that. I'm also generally a fan of "lack of censorship bc it's better to teach what not to do.")

Pocahontas - this movie took real historical events and romanticized them AND sexualized one of the only Native princesses they’ve had. Boo. Nothing wrong with animation!Pocahontas as a character, it’s just people put her in a story that doesn’t represent history well at all (and these historical events, unlike those in say, 14th-century Germany, had super relevant effects on people alive today.) And they portrayed the Native Americans and colonial settlers as equally in the wrong. (though I like Governor Radcliffe as a potential villain and love the line “see how I glitter.” I can’t NOT laugh when I hear it.) Lovely music, though. Nice animation, but the colors are weirdly… muted? 

Bad Garbage (I don't wish this film had never been made, but I wish I never had to see it.)

Planes - this movie was ridiculous. I remember not much about it except that I kinda hated it and that it was super cheesy with tension one could see right through that immediately resolved itself via one twist or another. 

Haven’t seen tier: Recess, A Bug’s Life, A Goofy Movie, DuckTakes Movie, Lilo and Stitch, Pinocchio (actually i have seen this but I remember nothing about it), The Nightmare before Christmas, Toy Stories 1, 2, and 3, Up, 101 Dalmatians, The Great Mouse Detective, Cars 2, Moana, The Good Dinosaur, Pete’s Dragon, Fantasia, Peter Pan Return to Neverland, Fantasia 2000, The Black Cauldron (read the book, though!), Bambi (or I did and remember nothing about it), The Rescuersm, The Rescuers Down Under, Planes Fire and Rescue, Bambi 2, The Fox & the Found, Oliver and Company, Atlantis, Treasure Planet (I want to, though), Piglet’s Big Movie, The Jungle Book, the Emporer’s New Groove, The Jungle Book 2, Chicken Little, Brother Bear, The Three Caballeros, Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, Dumbo, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, Aladdin (seen parts but never the whole thing), Strange Magic, The Sword in the Stone, James and the Giant Peach, Frankenweenie, Lady and the Tramp, Ralph Breaks the Internet, Doug’s 1st Movie, Monsters Inc. (want to, though), Meet the Robinsons, Dinosaur, The Aristocats, Robin Hood, The Tigger Movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, that pooh movie at the end without the title on it

-11/21/20

[calixddm101706]

Holiday Spent Together.

The holiday season was upon the Titans so they all decided to take a break from anything work related.

Kori and Dick were in their apartment. They wanted to spend their holidays there.

Jaime went home to spend holidays with his family, Gar came with him because Jaime treats him like family, they're best friends.

Donna also went home to themyscira.

The boy wonder was also going to spend holidays with his family until this happened.

He was walking in the hallway with his bag of clothes and other stuff. He entered the common room and became shocked with what he saw.

Sitting in the couch, was Raven......

He was shocked but then remembered that she didn't have a regular family. She didn't want to go with the others because she didn't want to disrupt their family bonding during the holidays. He now felt sad for the empath. Raven sensed him so she looked back and saw him just standing there staring at her, consumed by his thoughts.

"Umm....Damian? Are you okay?" She asks. Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Oh! Umm..I'm just thinking about something." He lied, he didn't want to remind of her of her family issues.

"Where are you going?" She asks, looking at his bag then back at him.

"Oh, I'm going home for the holidays." He informs. "Oh..." She says softly, now feeling sad, remembering her loneliness. Damian immediately realizes what he had done.

"Great going in not reminding her genius!" Damian scolds himself.

"Have fun.." She says then goes back to her book.

Damian felt really guilty now, he didn't want to leave her alone. He was going to invite her to come with him to the manor but he knew he'll never hear the end of it from his brothers.

He got another idea.....

"Wait there!" He said to her which surprised the young mage. He ran to the hallway and grabbed his phone and called his father.

"Hello Damian, what's wrong?" Bruce asks from the other side of the phone.

"I've decided to stay in fhe tower." Damian informs, Bruce was definitely shocked by the sudden statement and change of mind.

"Why?" Bruce asks, Damian didn't want to tell his father his reason or else he'd never hear the end of it, so he just lied...

"I have decided that I want to have some peace and quiet alone." He says.

"Really? How are you supposed to that with Raven there, she is there, isn't she?" Bruce says teasingly with a smug. He knew Raven didn't have a normal family, so he deduced it already.

He can see Damian's shocked face on the other side of the phone.

"I understand now why you want to stay." Bruce jokes, "Father!" Damian says pissed.

"Ok fine, you can stay, Merry Christmas Damian." Bruce says, "You too father." The ex assassin ended the call and went back in the common room.

Once he got back in Raven immediately faced him. "Guess what?" Damian asks with a grin. Raven just shrugged.

"You won't be alone this holiday." Damian informs, Raven quickly understands what he was implying.

"You're staying here?! What does your father think of this?" She asks shocked.

"Yes, I....felt bad for you. I didn't want you to be alone. Also don't worry of my father, he approves......weirdly." He said softly, cheeks staring to blush crimson red.

Raven smiles at his words, "Thank you Damian." She says sincerely, Damian smiles in return.

"Now I will put my belongings back in my room but after that we can do anything you want." He says before leaving the room. Raven chuckles at his charms. She gets up from the couch and heads out of the common room.

After a while Damian went to Raven's room, he knocked on her door and waited for a response.

She opened her door and saw Damian wearing his usual red hoodie, while she was wearing her usual attire which was her cloak and leotard.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Damian broke the silence between them.

"Umm......what do you want to umm....do?" Damian asks shyly.

"Umm.....I don't know, probably make a meal." She suggested.

"So cook?" Damian asked for clearance.

She nodded, they both chuckled because of the other's charms.

They both headed down to the kitchen and looked around.

"What do you want to cook?" Damian asks while looking through some cabinets.

"I don't know, probably just something easy, I'm not the best when it comes to food." She said.

"Well how about some waffles?" Damian suggests as he finds the waffle mix in one of the cupboards.

Raven being a huge fan of waffle says yes immediately.

They bring out the ingredients and things they needed and they put it in the kitchen island.

Once everything was out they started making.

Raven was in charge of putting eggs in the bowl, she was still learning how.

She hit the egg on the side of the bowl, it didn't crack, she tried again, nothing.

Damian noticed her problem so he helped. He walked up to her, he wanted to grab the egg in her hand but ends up holding her hand instead. Raven looks up and meets his eyes, their eyes lock, they stare at each other for a while.

They snap back into reality, Damian quickly retreats his hand back from hers, Raven processes what just had happened.

She looks back at Damian when he starts talking but does not make eye contact with the ex assassin.

"Umm.......so this is how you....umm....crack some eggs." Damian said, uncomfortable and heart raising rapidly.

"Oh okay." She says, she watches him crack the eggs but she her mind really isn't on the eggs.

They continue making the waffles in silence, awkward silence.

They didn't talk, only mumbling "excuse me" every now and then when going the other's direction or way.

After an hour as passed, the waffles were ready to be eaten.

They put the snacks in a plate, got some drinks and just stayed at the common room.

They sat in different seats and ate in silence, staring at the window, the awkward tension was fading but was still there.

Raven couldn't stand the silence, she didn't like the awkwardness between them, so she talked.

"Umm.....Damian?" She says, turning her head to where the boy wonder is. Grabbing his attention easily, he turns his head to look at the young mage.

"Umm...yes?" He asks.

"Why is it so awkward now? I mean like, we just stared at each other. What happened?" She asks,

Damian looks to the floor, "I don't actually know, it just became awkward all of the sudden and It wouldn't go back to how it was before." He says, also clueless to the situation.

"Can we just go back to how it was before?" Raven asks desperately, she couldn't handle the tension any longer. Damian looks back up to her.

"Umm....sure." Damian replies, Raven smiles in return.

"Anyways, these waffles are good." She changed the subject.

"Yes, I agree."

"Where'd you learn to cook good waffles?" Raven asks curiously.

Damian looks down to the floor again, "When you introduced the snack to me I enjoyed it, so I......learned to make it." Damian says embarrassed.

Raven laughs, "Why are you so embarrassed?" She asks.

"I don't actually know."

With that, Damian starts laughing as well because of his own silliness, also because Raven's laughing.

After they calmed down from the intense laughter they started eating their meals once more.

When they finished, they've decided to open the gifts they have gotten each other.

Raven gave Damian's gift first, Damian opened it. It was a new sword holder.

Damian looked stunned, he looks up to Raven, who was smiling.

"Thank you." He says, acknowledging the present.

"You're welcome!" She replies.

Damian hands Raven his gift to her. She opens it, and gets stunned when she saw what it was.

It was a necklace, with the word Raven written in diamonds.

Raven looks up to Damian with a stunned face.

"What. The. Hell." was the only thing she could say.

Damian got worried, "Do you not like it?".

"No! It's not that, I love it. I'm just.....its just...so beautiful, must've been expensive." She says, still stunned.

"Money is not a problem."  He says plainly.

"Yes it is! This are real diamonds!" She says.

"No its not, also, I've made sure that its diamonds." He says, Raven raises an eyebrow in confusion.

"Because diamonds is special.....and valuable, that's why your name is in diamonds, because like you, its special and valuable." Damian says, his cheeks start to redden, the same thing with Raven's.

Tears start to form in the young mage's eyes.

"Thank you so much, Damian!" She says, he smiles in return.

She runs to his arms, she hugs him tightly. Damian was shocked at first, but then slowly wraps his arms around her figure.

They separate but not fully, their eyes meet, but its not awkward anymore, its comfortable.

They slowly move towards the other, the gap between them slowly decreasing until it was fully gone.

Their lips moved in sync, they kissed with no care in the world, the only thing that mattered was them, and them only.

They separated for air, they continue to stare at each other, falling deep in each other's eyes.

They lean until their foreheads were touching. They stayed like that for a few minutes.

"Also, I didn't learn to cook waffles because I enjoyed it."

Raven raises her eyebrow once more.

"Its because I wanted to cook it for you someday." He admits.

Raven let's out a heartwarming smile in return.

After that, they just stayed in the common room cuddling, enjoying the other's presence while watching the snow fall to the ground.

What matters during the holidays is not where you spend it, how many gifts you get, or what the situation is.

The thing that matters is the people you hold dear and the meaning of that.

[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power S02E05 - White Out

White Out makes me think of snow and blizzards but Google is telling me that it's also the name for the liquid used to fix mistakes when people wrote with pen on paper. Y'know, prehistory. So. It could be something related to Frosta or it could be someone trying to tape over a mistake? Or maybe both. Or none of those at all. I don't know, so let's do this!

This explains why neither of these two appeared in the previous episode. Apparently they are in... a mountain? Or one of the planet's poles?

When the... "beast" attacked the Best Friends Squad back in the first episode of the first season, I really thought they'd be more prevalent that they'd been. I think the horse has done more damage through the show than the local wildlife.

It makes sense that they'd mostly ignore that threat considering the focus of the show has been firmly in the confrontation between The Horde and The Rebellion, but now that Catra and Entrapta seem to be alone in the snow... what a perfect opportunity for a winter horror episode plot.

Hey, I think I already watched this episode! They are going to find an iceberg with a glowing kid inside.

Well, that's a coat.

They burned down and sank to the bottom of the ocean, Bow. Haven't you learned anything about Seahawk?

Yeah, have to agree, Fire would have been a better fate.

The only man in the entire alliance with a boat.

It's always surprising when a cartoon character shows up with different clothes because it's so uncommon.

oh no my continuity theories

I'll forgive the wonky eyes this time because they are very appropriate.

SCORPIA IS ASKING CATRA OUT IN A DATE.

To think all that effort and cute bumbling is being wasted on Catra.

oooh, evil virus shard is back

I'm not sure why that's a surprise.

I was hoping she wouldn't mention that tiny tidbit of info but nope. And I doubt Catra is going to have any doubts about using it

But She-Ra didn't lose her powers, she lost them because they had to take out the sword from her hands before she continued her rampage. Is the monster of this winter horror movie actually going to be She-Ra? Because I want to watch that. Good characters turned evil are always fun.

Also Scorpia being the protagonist of her own romcom is also very good.

no

Every time Sea Hawks appears I fear it'll be the episode where he starts getting annoying but nope, still great.

Now I'm thinking that Catra is going to disable She-Ra with the murder-virus and immediately after they'll all get attacked by a snow monster. Because, y'know, Catra can't win.

...I can't take them seriously when most of them look like marshmallows.

Adora's biggest character development moment in this show will be when she realizes that chasing Catra is always a bad idea.

There goes my theory from last episode that Scorpia didn't want to kill Glimmer. Dead, like Glimmer.

She's already falling to her death, there's no reason to stress over some creepy monster eyes.

sending thoughts and prayers

First meeting in person! I expected more from everyone else but I guess they are busy.

You know the writers have done a good job with a character when you hear something like that and you go "yup, that's entrapta"

Welp, now she'll have the guts to murder Catra. Unless she drops the sword.

As awesome as I hoped.

Catra right now.

I was thinking that this episode seemed to be moving a bit fast since they were already fighting a third into the episode but the teams separating could be interesting. I wish one of the "bad guys" was falling with them though, that dynamic is always fun.

She says, seconds before Mad She-Ra turns and notices them there.

And Entrapta is loving it, of course.

This could have some interesting consequences, if it shows Catra that she can only win against She-Ra because Adora can't avoid going easy on her. Catra knows this deep down, she even takes advantage of it but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't hurt her pride to actually lose.

"puny cat"

On one hand I'm loving this. On the other, I'm worried because the biggest reason why Adora feels so overwhelmed is because according to Light Hope, Mara went crazy and did a bunch of bad stuff. What if Adora starts feeling guilty about what's happening here? But, the virus could also provide an alternate explanation for Mara's rampage (if she indeed went crazy instead of just acting against Light Hope's orders because of attachment~)

what... what did you think she was?

Catra, excelling at shoving down traumatic experiences and hiding them with a devil-may-care attitude since... I dunno, how old is she again?

that's not good

Noo, don't destroy the murder-virus.

I'm glad they are actually talking about this possibility because it was the first thing that came to my mind after the episode the virus appeared. It's such a Catra plan.

Of course, the fact that they are talking about it probably means it won't happen, unless they are setting up the season finale early?

Is Scorpia going to get jealous and set Adora free?

I was starting to get a bit eye-rolly at Sea Hawk's weird issues but the shanty brought him back to awesome. Really walking the knife's edge with him.

I love angry hulking out She-Ra but Drunk Adora is the best side effect of that virus.

oh my god

You can see Scorpia's soul leaving her body.

Adora, the dignified and elegant owner of the sword of protection.

She did need a break

I don't know, Scorpia doesn't seem to be in the closet about anything.

Oh no, she's turning into the worst type of drunk: the weepy drunk

The monsters have been in the background of every fight scene, that's the opposite of a twist!

An example of how well this show nails the characters's expressions.

And one more. I complain sometimes about the animation and the wonky eyes but these jokes show how the animators can do a lot with very little.

Sadly, childhood friends always win, the one trope to beat them all.

I didn't sign up for Scorpia feels.

I didn't see this coming at all. Of course the two joke characters would empathize with each other.

WHY WOULD YOU TELL THAT TO ENTRAPTA? You're just giving her more ideas.

Light Hope did mention how everything in Etheria was part of their system. Does that include the fauna?

This is weirdly heartwarming.

getting real

That was way cuter than I expected. Nothing like getting some validation from a drunk lady to reboot their self-esteem.

They are getting slightly better about this but they still like some drastic mood swings between scenes.

Adora should always be drunk.

Can't wait for the fourth season episode where Adora struggles with her addiction to the virus, the one thing that lets her forget about her worries in a world consumed by war.

And now it's back to heavy. Does she save Catra, risking her anger? Or keep the disk? I think she's is going to destroy the disk, it's the right thing to do for Catra even if she can't see it right now, and that's the type of character Scorpia seems to be.

Wow, I didn't expect this. Catra is seeing Scorpia for the first time.

Right there with you, Sea Hawk.

Look at Scorpia's face! Look at her! She's so happy!

I'm not sure if it's because I haven't watched She-Ra in so long but this is the first episode I remember feeling long. Not in a bad way, it's not like I couldn't wait for it to end, but it's the first time that made me think "huh, only X minutes in." Part of it is probably because the first third/half felt like it could have been an early season 1 episode, with a setup, some chatting and a fight. Then the turn happened and it switched to something more complex.

The conversation between Sea Hawk and Scorpia was cute and wholesome, and I'm glad they both found someone who could understand them, but I'm not 100% happy with Scorpia's resolution to she won't leave Catra. It was very... I'm not sure how to explain it without making it sound way more problematic than I actually think it is. It shifts the responsibility about Catra treating her like crap to Scorpia.

It did work out by the end when she actually stood up to Catra and did what she thought was best, so maybe I'm worrying about nothing.

I'm somewhat sad by the death of the virus as a plot device, I liked the idea of the plan Catra had for a Mad She-Ra rampaging through the rebellion but at least we got a brief glimpse of what could happen. Curiously enough we didn't get to see the fallout for Adora so I hope it doesn't get glossed over the next episode. Losing control like that was a big deal last season and it should still be considering all the new baggage Adora is dealing now.

It was a great episode, it went places I didn't expect it to go and the show keeps building up the characters in interesting ways. Only two episodes left! Until next time!

[sxciallygray]

Let her go (Colby Brock)

A/N: Hi everybody!! So here I am with a Colby imagine that I hope you like as much as I liked writing, just keep in mind this is not the end of it. The idea that came into my mind (inspired by the song Fix You by Colplay, that you can find on this playlist I used while writing this part) is much longer, but I figured it was better to separate it in two parts because at first I thought about waiting until I had both parts written to post anything but I’m way too excited to wait.

I also have a bunch of little imagines in mind related with these two, so don’t be shy and send me some asks about whatever you want if you want us to discuss ideas :)

Warnings: English is not my first language so I’m sorry in advance if I made some mistakes and this part has mostly angst, but also little fluffy flashbacks.

Colby and (Y/N) had started dating at a young age, 18 years old – which is consider young if your goal is to find the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. (Y/N) was a firm believer that, nowadays, if you start dating young odds are you’re not going to last and it wasn’t a belief she liked, she was a romantic and wanted to find her soulmate.

That is the reason why, before Colby - as sad as it sounds - the few people she had dated were doomed to not last. However, Colby was different, she wanted him to be the person she spent the rest of her life with. Same was for Colby, he was infatuated by (Y/N)’s big heart, her love for animals or how caring she was with everyone around her, not to mention the smile that made him lost track of time, how she goes quiet whenever she feels anxious, the way she laughs at the silliest things, the fact that she enjoyed watching horror movies by herself – like a complete psycho.

It was no secret they were made for each other, but they were young and life has its ways of stepping on people’s happiness.

Although they had a lot in common, starting with their adventurous nature – (Y/N) didn’t hesitate for a second when Colby asked her to move with him and Sam to LA, she was ready for a new chapter – they didn’t share a path career wise. Colby wanted to persuade his and Sam’s dream, while on the other side you have (Y/N), the one who loved studying and keep learning new things the damaged education system had to offer. She had a plan for herself in LA, she wasn’t going to settle to be Colby’s girlfriend on the eyes of the world because she was made to be the leader of her own exciting story.

As mentioned before, (Y/N) has a huge heart, she loves helping people in every way possible, so she enrolled college as a future social worker, she wanted to see a change in the world and as small as her part on it was, she wanted to start somewhere. Colby supported her every step of the way, he would surprise her by picking her up at campus, he would stay up until crazy hours of the night to make her company while she studied and if needed he would help her quizzing her about the subject she was preparing, but he would specially be there for all those times she would break down crying out of stress because there were too many papers, exams, also the part time job she took so she could afford living in LA once she ran out of her savings didn’t help her with the time management.

 “You’re a liar!” (Y/N) couldn’t believe her eyes as she ran towards an amused Colby leaning against his red Toyota parked right outside her faculty.

Colby had been gone for over a week to film a Sam and Colby video and he had told (Y/N) a different date for his return, one that was a couple more days down the line.

“I can leave if you want” he joked when she was close enough to throw herself in his direction, giving him the tightest hug.

“Please do, it would add more drama to the situation” they both laugh, still hugging each other, only to lock lips as soon as (Y/N) pulled back “I missed this” she hummed against his lips as the kiss got heated, specially from Colby’s side “maybe we should go home and catch up” with all the strength in her she had to pull back and keep her hands on Colby’s chest when his lips tried to follow hers to continue the kiss.

“I made plans for us” Colby groaned, to what (Y/N) could only laugh at how he looked so bumped out by the plans he had made himself, suddenly seeing the lust on (Y/N)’s eyes and how she wanted to ‘catch up’ sounded like the perfect plan.

“Then we’ll have to wait” her eyes couldn’t lie, she was excited about those plans he had in mind for them, she loved how thoughtful Colby was.

“But I want to catch up” he whined in a funny tone that only made (Y/N) laugh harder.

 Colby was as supportive as she was for him when it came to his youtube career. Countless times she would come up with ideas for his videos, she would take part on them if it was necessary, she learned how to edit so she could finish his videos every time he would fall asleep after being seated in front of the computer for hours, she would go with him to every award show, premiere or party that he got invited to even if she had to wake up bright and early the next day.

 Three hours was how long it took for (Y/N) to check on Colby after he disappeared into his office to edit his new video, she had taken that time to do some cleaning around the apartment and finish a paper for one of her classes. It was late and it wasn’t like Colby to not take a break to come out and eat something during his process of editing, that’s why she decided to check on him.

What she found when she opened the door was heartwarming. Colby had his head laying on the desk, mouth slightly open, eyes closed and headphones weirdly positioned on part of his face while there was nothing playing on the screen because it had been too long and the program had run out of footage.

“Colby” she kept her voice a whisper to not scare him, although she knew it would be unlikely to wake him up by just whispering “Coooolby” now the tone was louder while she removed the headphones from his head, but still no reaction at all.

It wasn’t going to work unless there was physical contact so she started to run her fingers through his hair, gaining a hum from the sleepy boy “Come on, let’s go to bed” she said softly, getting closer so she could kiss his temple, to what he reacted by finally opening his eyes, he looked confused and kind of lost “you fell asleep while editing” she explained “come with me” with a light pull on his hand Colby stood up, not keeping his balance very well, he was still more asleep than awake.

“I have to finish the video” it was almost impossible to understand what he was saying, he was finally lying in bed and he automatically closed his eyes when he started mumbling a bunch of nonsense.

“Just take some rest, you’ll finish it later” that made him shut up about the video and fall back to sleep, which (Y/N) took as her opportunity to go into his office and finish editing the video for him.

The whole thing ended up with Colby waking up the next morning really confused, first because he didn’t know how he had ended in the bed, and second because (Y/N) wasn’t sleeping next to him.

He looked around the small apartment, her phone was on the kitchen counter next to her laptop and a pile of notes for her classes, but she was nowhere to be found, so he tried the last place he thought she would be – his office.

“(Y/N), hey, wake up” he squatted next to the chair where she had fallen asleep, takin her hand in his and giving it a squeeze. When she opened her eyes and met a smile appeared on Colby’s face “why are you doing sleeping here?” he chuckled when she frowned like she didn’t even know the answer to that, but memories came quick to her memory.

“I finished your video” she pointed towards the computer, she still sounded a little groggy “and then… I don’t know” while she rubbed the sleep from her eyes she tried to remember at what point she fell asleep, but there was no memory of that.

What (Y/N) couldn’t realize in her tired state was the adoration on Colby’s face, he thought it was impossible to be more in love with her, but every day he found something else that made him fall harder and harder.

“Why don’t we go back to bed? Both of us” at that appealing proposition (Y/N) could only nod, a big smile on her face as she took Colby’s hand and let him lead her to their bedroom.

    It had been two years of their new found dynamic when (Y/N) got herself the opportunity of a lifetime; she had got offered a scholarship to study her third year in Chicago. To say she was excited wasn’t good enough to describe how she got home that day, bursting through the door screaming and jumping, talking so fast Colby couldn’t understand what she was saying, but once he did he was just as excited for her as she was.

They both knew that if she took that opportunity they would have to deal with a long distance relationship, for the year that the scholarship lasted though. Here’s the thing, they were okay with it, they supported and loved each other so much that they would go through a year of texts, facetimes, phone calls and brief visits if that meant (Y/N) got to live an experience like that.

Their willingness to go through didn’t mean they expected it to be as hard at it ended up being. At first they called each other every day, but as their schedules got busier it became harder to keep that pace. They didn’t make a big deal out of it because they still talked regularly.

But things got rough, whenever (Y/N) felt the stress of classes taking over her and she couldn’t get a hold of Colby she felt like they were getting farther away than the distance between Chicago and LA. Same for Colby, whenever he got frustrated with a video and he needed (Y/N) to feel better about it, but she wouldn’t pick up because she was in class meaning he had no idea when he could talk with her, Colby got even more frustrated.

Love was stronger than that, or so they liked to believe, because they didn’t want to face a reality where they were drifting apart.

As the year came to an end Colby thought they would finally go back to their normality, the beautiful dynamic they shared. They would be a team again, but (Y/N) had other plans and she was scared to share them with Colby in case things ended poorly.

Her fears made her not say a word about it for the first couple of days once she was back home, but Colby knew her very well and he knew behind all that happiness there was something hiding.

“What’s going on?” Colby was sitting on the kitchen counter, watching (Y/N) make dinner, when the question he had been dying to ask left his lips.

“What do you mean? I’m making dinner, that’s going on” (Y/N) chuckled, not even turning around, not realizing how serious Colby was.

“No, what’s going on with you?” that made (Y/N) turn to see the expression on Colby’s face, he looked sad and that’s when she knew it was time to tell him “you’re back, but most of the time it feels like you’re still gone”

The boy wasn’t wrong, she stressed so much about how to tell him that a lot of times she was somewhere else deep in her thoughts.

(Y/N) moved closer to him, standing in the gap between her legs, she grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. Colby smiled softly, giving her hand a squeeze, he couldn’t help it every time she was close to him and as much as she hated doing it (Y/N) had to break the news to him, even if seeing him smiling at her like that in front of her made the girl question her decision, she had to do it.

“I got offered an international voluntary work” Colby’s smile vanished, it was replaced by a confused frown.

“Did you take it?” he was scared of the answer, of how it would feel to know she had made such a big decision without telling him first, not like he had to give her permission, but she was planning on making a huge change and they were on a relationship, he deserved to know, right?

“No, I told them I needed to think about it, I wanted to talk about it with you first” that made him feel like a weight had been lifted of his shoulders “but I want to go” he shouldn’t be surprised, but he was. He didn’t intent on letting go of her hand as fast as he did, but he did it anyways. The action broke (Y/N)’s heart as much as her words had broken Colby’s.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” the tone on his voice was calmed, almost distant.

“Because I was scared of how this could affect us” they were an honest couple, they shared their fears with each other even if that fear involved the other person.

“and how is this supposed to affect us?” he needed to know where she wanted to go with all of it, did she want to break up with him?

“I don’t know… I guess I was hoping we could just keep going the way we had been going this past year” breaking up was the last option, but she didn’t want to lie to herself because it was still a possibility.

Silence filled the room, Colby’s brain working at full speed trying to process the situation unfolding in front of him and how to respond to it, he wished there was a manual with an answer of what to do in a moment like this.

Even if he wanted to say it was going to be okay if they did that, if they spent separated who knows how long this time, he couldn’t – because he didn’t know if they would be okay doing that again.

“Can I…” his voice got caught up, making him have to clear his throat to speak with a steady voice “Can I just have some time to think about it?”

“Yes, yeah, of course you can” (Y/N)’s tone was understanding, because even if this situation broke her heart, she had time to process the information from the day she was offered the job up until this point, so she wasn’t going to ask an immediate response from Colby right away “I’m sorry Colbs” that caught his attention “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner”

He flashed a sad smile in her direction, he knew she was really sorry and not only for not telling him sooner but for putting them in that position.

“We’ll figure things out, don’t worry” one of his hands moved up to her cheek, having physical contact with Colby again made (Y/N)’s nerves die down, it made her hopeful they would actually find a solution “we always figure things out” he murmured before planting a kiss on her temple.

The next couple of days were weird. It felt like something had been taken away from both of them already, the tense atmosphere every time they were in the same room at the same time. (Y/N) was waiting on Colby to say what was going on through his head and Colby didn’t know how to word the thoughts running wild in his mind.

Trying to figure things out by his own became a nightmare so he spent more time at Sam’s apartment than his and (Y/N)’s making her think things were worse than what she anticipated.

It all happened exactly four days later while they were watching a movie in the comfort of their living room, the fact that something felt odd didn’t mean they weren’t a couple or didn’t stop them from their routine.

“Do you really think we can do long distance again?” That was the question that started all. One second they were paying attention to the movie, the next Colby was asking that out of the blue “it’s not like you’re going to Chicago, you’re going who knows where internationally”

(Y/N) moved to be sitting sideways, facing Colby, if they were about to have that conversation it had to be face to face “Mozambique” last time they talked about it they didn’t get to the point of where was she going exactly and knowing it know didn’t help either.

“That’s not a plane ride away, that’s a different continent and a whole different hemisphere!” Colby didn’t really wanna lose his shit, but he did. Because deep down he thought maybe they could do it, maybe they could go through it again and make it to the other side victorious, but knowing she was going to the other side of the world was a different story “tell me, do you really think we can do that much of a long distance?” as quickly as he had lost his nerves he went back to calmness, at least an exterior one.

(Y/N) didn’t answer right after, she knew the answer to that question and she didn’t want to say it out loud, she didn’t want to be the responsible for trashing their relationship, but even given the circumstances Colby didn’t blame her, not even the smallest bit. He could be feeling all kinds of heartache, but at the end of it all he would always be proud of her for chasing after her dream, he would blame himself if he tried to stop her just to stay there with him.

“(Y/N) I want you to be yourself, I want you to experience everything life has to offer you” he placed a hand on her knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

She knew what he meant, she knew each of them were their own person and it was just too bad their paths weren’t crossing but taking very different directions.

“Are we…” it was too scary for her to finish the sentence and Colby was quick to cut her off.

“No” he chuckled, maybe way too nervous to admit that they were going to do what he least wanted “I love you”

“And I love you too” (Y/N) almost interrupted him, but she needed to know she had reminded Colby.

“More than I’ve ever loved anybody”

“But what if that is just not enough anymore” the words left her mouth before she could even process them.

The room fell silent again, making both look down, realizing that it was probably not enough to keep their relationship alive for another year while they were apart.

“So what does this mean? Are we…” his voice was low, almost a whisper. Neither of them could finish the damn sentence and say out loud anything related to breaking up because that was too real.

With all the hurt in her heart (Y/N) nodded, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. It was over, just like that, four years of relationship had come to an end. For some reason she wished it was different, that she could blame Colby because he had done something wrong or because they didn’t love each other anymore or the relationship had become toxic, she wished she could hate him, but that wasn’t the case. It was over while they still loved each other deeply and unconditionally.

The moment (Y/N) looked up she noticed the silent tears running down Colby’s cheeks, making her sight get blurrier with her own tears.

“I should…” she was pointing in the direction of their room, unable to finish the sentence with her shaky voice. Colby knew what she meant, nevertheless. she meant she should pack her things, so he just nodded as he whipped his tears and tried to collect himself.

(Y/N) didn’t wait another second and started her way to their room, a tight feeling growing in her chest with every step she took, she couldn’t believe that was it, that would be one of the last moments she would live with Colby, the boy she considered the love of her life as cheesy as that sounded – she hated cheesy stuff, but not when it was related to Colby, she loved everything about that goof emo boy.

Colby stood up too, with the intention of going next door to his best friend’s apartment. If there was something he couldn’t do that was watch (Y/N) pack her things to leave him all by himself in their apartment, the one they had decorated together, the one they had so many memories in. He couldn’t stand the thought of letting her go, so he had to get out of the picture.

Before he could move from his spot (Y/N)’s arms were wrapped around his neck in a tight hug and he didn’t hesitate a second when it came to hugging her back, he wrapped his arms around her trembling body. He couldn’t see her face, but he could hear her sniffles, he could feel her racing heart against his chest and her wet cheek when it came into contact with the skin of his neck.

Sometimes actions speak louder than words, this was one of those times. The only sound audible in the room being their quiet sobs as they held each other close for one last time, too scared to let go of that moment because they would be entering the unknown, a new chapter on their lives they didn’t count on it being them taking different directions.

After a few minutes (Y/N) had to pull back, she knew if she stayed longer she would never leave and she had to. Colby didn’t make it easy either, he was holding onto her for dear life, he knew that saying about letting someone you love go, then if they come back that means they’re yours, but in that moment he thought that was bullshit – for Colby it had always been clear, they were it for each other.

Sadly, for the young man, he couldn’t make her stay if that wasn’t what she wanted. For the look on her face when she pulled back from his embrace he would swear she wanted to stay there with him, his body reacted to it automatically dropping his hands a few inches to hold her tight by her waist.

A little smile appeared on (Y/N)’s sad face at his action, but it also made the tears roll faster down her blush cheeks.

Unlike Colby’s hands, (Y/N)’s went up, from his shoulder to his neck, using her thumbs to caress his soft jaw. Eyes traveling from his lips – those she adored kissing – to his nose, with that shiny piercing that she remembered holding his hand while he was getting it, up to his gorgeous blue eyes now filled with tears. One of her hands moved further up to his cheeks – his immediate reaction was leaning on her touch – while her other hand traveled up to the blue tips of his hair, that only made his beauty look even more out of this world.

In that moment Colby only wanted to do one thing, beg her to stay. He would get on his knees if that was what it took. Instead, he said nothing, he just looked at her with eyes still filled with love and adoration like they had always been for her.

“Please take care of yourself Colbs” voice broken just like the look on her eyes as she pulled away from him, immediately feeling cold without his touch against her skin.

Colby couldn’t bring himself to say anything back, he could only watch as she turned around and made her way into their bedroom, closing the door behind her instead of coming back to his arms again.

With a door between them is when they finally broke. (Y/N) didn’t even take a step before dropping on the floor, back against the door, and broke into an uncontrolled crying, she had never felt that kind of pain before, how her chest hurt as if her heart had actually broken and how it felt like there was a part of her starting to get numb and lost.

On the other side of the door Colby could hear her sobs and it didn’t make it easy for his own crying. He couldn’t be there, not while she was crying on the other room and much less when she packed her things and leave, so he left to a safe place – Sam’s apartment.

That is how things turned out. That was the last time Colby saw (Y/N) before she left to start her new adventure far away from him, but don’t let them fool you, because that wasn’t the last time their paths were going to cross, just the same way life stepped in their way once it was about to step a second time to shake both of their worlds and change everything they thought they knew.

let me know what you think :)

All you had to do was stay, part 2