#it's all based in feelings it feels bad to not give cats raw food it feels bad to not let them outside

[lastoneout]

People LOVE pulling a "this [extremely common thing] never happens to anyone ever" at the weirdest time. People legit claim that my critiques of ecofacism and the problem with eugenics in the green movement are ragebait because they don't believe me when I say I am critiquing people whom I know irl and also it is not even remotely hard for me to find buckets of the type of person I'm talking about online if you actually take five seconds to LOOK.

People legit cannot comprehend that their experience of the world is not universal and it's so annoying.

that customer post is going to drive me to ritualistic cannibalism and its NOT going to be in a sexy way

[phoenix-downer]

Catting Around Chapter 3

Summary: Kairi and Sora do their best with the circumstances at hand (paw?).

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

(This story is a sequel to After Ever After, Love’s Cost, and Enchanted Neighborhood).

Things were all well and good until Sora turned traitor on Kairi and gave in to his feline instincts.

She'd been preparing food for them since they all refused to eat cat food except for Kageko, the actual cat. Understandable, since she wouldn't want to eat cat food either, even if she had been turned into a cat. She was scooping the last of the canned meat she’d found in the pantry into a spare bowl when she caught a glimpse of Sora out of the corner of her eye.

“Sora! What on earth are you doing?” she cried. He froze in place. At the very top of the curtains covering one of the big windows looking into the backyard, little Emi was perched, her claws sunk deep into the fabric. Haruto and then Miyu were not far below, forming a sort of cat ladder leading up to the top. And at the base of the cat ladder was her husband, looking very sheepish and guilty, but he did not move his paws or claws and stuck to the curtain instead.

“Get down from there, all of you!” She marched over and pried first Haruto and then Miyu off of the curtain. Emi was beyond her reach, so she knew she would have to stand on a chair to grab her. A tricky proposition for a pregnant woman. She would have to be careful. 

Wait, she had a Keyblade. She would just use an anti-gravity spell on her daughter. Surely that wouldn't be as much of a strain as casting transformational magic? Sometimes she still wasn't used to using magic so openly in front of their kids and forgot it was an available resource—

Sora suddenly launched himself up the curtain and carefully landed at the top, balancing precariously before grabbing Emi once again by the scruff of her neck. She mewed in surprise but didn't struggle as Sora carefully lowered her into Kairi's outstretched arms.

Once Emi was safely on the ground, she glanced up at her husband. She wasn't quite sure how he planned on getting down. He could launch himself at her, but his claws would dig into her skin—

Elegantly, gracefully, he descended part of the curtain and then leaped onto the table. Phew. Crisis averted. Or so she thought. A smacking noise suddenly made its way to her ears, and she groaned and whirled around.

The kids were eating out of the bowls on the counter. She sighed deeply. She’d meant to move the bowls to the ground first, but maybe that was too optimistic.

Wait, one of those bowls should be Sora’s—

“Kageko!” she scolded sharply. “You already had your dinner, that's for Sora!”

Kageko had always been a bit of a bottomless pit when it came to food. She glanced up at Kairi for a few moments, yellow eyes complacent as she smacked her food. 

Kairi threw her hands in the air. “Oh fine, just ensure the master of the house can't eat. That was my last can of meat, and I don't dare leave you all to get more food.”

She ran her fingers through her hair. They were out of fish right now. They were out of a lot of food right now, because they were supposed to go to the grocery store tomorrow. 

She didn't want to give Sora raw chicken or pork, that seemed like a bad idea. Before she could check for anything else in the fridge, she heard him meowing. He was by the door, eyes looking up expectantly at her.

“You want out?” She frowned. It was getting dark outside, and there were plenty of animals on the Islands who could attack and eat a cat his size. “Sora, why don't I just call Riku—”

He meowed more insistently, and she sighed and relented, cracking open the back door. “Oh fine, please just don't eat any bugs or rodents. I would never be able to kiss you again if you did.”

If cats could pout, she was certain he gave her a pout before dashing outside. She giggled at the thought he would be so incensed over the prospect of never kissing her again, but then again, she would feel the same way. To never kiss him again… How awful.

She was ready to have her husband back already. She knew it wouldn't be the same tonight not being able to cuddle with him like normal. She wanted her kids back too.

The next half an hour she spent herding her children and her actual cat, making sure they didn't eat each other's food, fishing Kageko’s toys out of nooks and crannies and pieces of furniture so the kids would have something to play with, and then trying to get them all clean with damp towels and brushes. She tried to eat here and there when she snatched a few spare moments.

Presently, she heard meowing at the back door. When she opened it, Sora was there, holding a fish in his mouth and looking rather triumphant. He was dripping wet but otherwise in one piece, and she shook her head and grinned.

“You took what I said seriously, then. Yes, you may eat that fish, but please eat it outside. I don't want its guts all over the kitchen floor. You can come back when you're finished and have buried its remains.”

With that he trotted off and she closed the door again. The kids were starting to tire out after wrecking havoc around the house all afternoon and evening, so she scrounged up some blankets and pillows for them to sleep on tonight. They could have a big sleepover in the family room with Sora and Kageko watching over them.

Just as she finished creating a nice nest of blankets and pillows for each of them, she heard Sora meowing at the door again. When she opened it, the fish was nowhere in sight, and he licked his chops before coming inside. Unfortunately, his front paws especially were now very dirty.

“Hang on a second, let me grab a towel,” she told him. She didn't want him to have to lick a bunch of dirt off his paws.

She knelt beside him, and he offered his paw. Gently, tenderly, as if it was his hand, she carefully cleaned the paw. He started purring softly, his eyes slowly blinking as he looked up at her. They repeated the process with the rest of his paws, and she stooped to kiss his head.

“Thank you, for getting Emi off the curtain. I'm sorry for scolding you like that. I didn't realize that was what you were trying to do.” 

His purring got louder, and he chirruped. “Don't worry about it,” she was sure he would say if he could.

“Thank you.” She smiled at him. “I prepared a bed for you in the family room along with the kids, but…” She leaned closer and whispered, “If you want to come to our bed after the kids have fallen asleep, feel free.”

He nuzzled her face in response. Maybe they still could cuddle tonight. It would be the perfect way to end the day.

Getting the kids to settle down was an ordeal, but she finally managed. It helped that Kageko and Sora were there. Once she was convinced the kids would stay in their blanket nests carefully arranged for them in the family room, she retreated to the master bedroom and bathroom to get ready for bed herself. After that, it was time for her nightly reading and journaling.

Sora slunk into their room after a while. She heard him before she saw him, and before too long, he had launched himself onto their bed. Smiling, she set her journal down and gave him plenty of head scritches and pets, which was rewarded with loud purring. He made biscuits on the blanket and then settled on her chest, nuzzling her belly a few times as if to say goodnight to the baby. Then he finally rested his head by her heart, and she smiled softly. That was his favorite place to cuddle, no matter what form he was in.

“Goodnight, my love,” she told him softly, then turned out the light. Today had been an unexpectedly busy day, but not a bad one. It wasn't long before she fell asleep.

————————————————————————

A/N: This entire story was inspired by this video Alja sent me three years ago of several cats climbing a curtain together. It was so cute and funny that I knew I wanted to write something about it.

This Friday I am planning on posting a SoKai and Rokunami oneshot were they visit Beast’s Castle, so I might actually post the final chapter of this story the week after, we shall see.

Thank you for reading! And thank you for the likes and reblogs ❤️

[pumpkinshaders]

so making custom blocks and items and whatnot shouldn't be too hard, but changing the player's model and the UI seems like it'll be more of a challenge. i'm definitely biting off more than i can chew but i'm nothing if not determined.

currently planned (easy): >Moss beds (moss carpet + feathers) >Kill pile (edible food block, remove food with an empty hand, add food by right clicking with raw meat) >Herbs (adding new plants + modifying vanilla minecraft plants to make medicine) >Greencough status effect (permanent like Bad Omen until treated. maybe treatment has a small chance of not working?) >Whitecough status effect (same as Greencough lol but different treatment) >Moonpool (portal to Star Clan dimension. only active on full moons) >Star Clan dimension (likely timed. might just replace the end with it with you waking up back in your bed after you leave. maybe sleeping in a bed near the moonpool?) >Dark Forest dimension (like the nether. but for cats. probably timed + respawn at bed like Star Clan) >More prey mobs like crows, mice, snakes, etc. >Kittypet collars, cat beds, cat toys >Add the unimplemented grey tabby from Bedrock edition

(medium): >Punches with nothing in your hands does more damage >Bite attack (no idea how i'd implement this tbh) >Random generated clan cats (domestic cats are already a thing so the models, textures, and animations are pretty much done for me, all I need to add is the randomizer + names) >Some sort of way to identify clans (probably borrow from banners with colors + symbols lol. Player can make their own & customize + edit their clan banner, random generated clans get banners, etc. maybe call them 'scent markers' lol) >Can't mine things that are too tough (stone, wood, etc) and mining things is much slower (can mine sand, dirt, gravel, leaves, etc) >Can't use pickaxes, axes, swords, shields, etc. >Raw meat restores more hunger points than other food >Only 10 HP (5 hearts) like a regular minecraft cat. (+ no fall damage, + speed boost + creepers and phantoms repelled. not sleeping does not spawn phantoms.) >Hostile mobs no longer hostile to the player (unless attacked) >Patrols (I don't know anything about AI but how hard could it be to get them to travel along a path. i can feel the icecream truck looming above me just typing that) >Simpler territory (clan banners have a radius of n~ blocks and within that radius is their territory

(hard): >Fewer inventory slots (maybe just 3? 5? that being your hotbar) >Change the player's default model to a cat (with textures you can change + customize or randomize) >Allow the player to revert their character to default vanilla player (because i imagine trying to build as a cat with such limitations would suck. thru UI or command) >Rank system >Clan leaders get, essentially, 9 totems of undying. >Villagers can no longer be traded with, but they will randomly give the player 'gifts' (raw meat, milk, etc) >If you accept too many gifts from villagers they'll attempt to tame you >Add Kittypets (tamed cats are automatically kittypets, kittypets can spawn in villages & will follow villagers) >One armor slot (collar. if equipped it acts like curse of binding, cannot be removed. it will break if it takes sufficient damage. clan cats will avoid you like creepers/phantoms if you have a collar(?)) >Seasons (probably just a calendar i don't feel like figuring out how to do that properly. different events are triggered based on the season.) >Events (like the Gathering on full moons) >Can sleep on regular beds, chests, and active furnaces. >Territory (i'm thinking you can open a map and the claimed territory will be visible. as for how this territory is marked out, maybe warriors can. mark? while on patrol? territory markers/banners fade over time (maybe only visible to cats/cat players) and need to be re-marked. if you mark within another clan's territory cats of that clan nearby become hostile to you, you lose reputation with that clan, etc. but this won't happen if the marker is faded, and vice versa) >Reputation system with other clans (+ maybe other cats? might be a lot) >Some sort of interaction system with NPC cats

(???): >Robust config (hopefully ingame. adjust how many inventory slots you want, if you can/can't mine certain blocks, change your rank + clan, etc) >Super secret unobtainable OP item (Scourge's collar) that kills clan leaders instantly >Item that allows you to edit cats' data in creative (age, texture, rank, clan, name, etc) >Quests? >New achievements :D >Rabies maybe? Strength and poison effects? >Witches give gifts + extras but don't try to tame you

currently implemented: >nooooooooone of that <3 >I hate javascript >Everybody pray for me because i deserve it.

[catbreedsblog]

Can Cats Eat Steak? Cooked or Raw? Get Advice & Health Care For Your Cat

 First of all,

People know that cats like meat, which makes them wonder if they can eat the same things as people. When we think about giving our cats a juicy steak, we want to know more about its nutritional value, possible benefits, possible risks, and whether or not a cat's digestive system can handle it.

Steak's Nutritional Makeup

Do cats like steak? Steak is very popular because it has a lot of protein and a lot of important nutrients. Steak, which is muscle meat, gives cats the high-quality protein they need to keep their muscles healthy and stay healthy overall. It also has varying amounts of important vitamins like B vitamins (B12 and niacin), minerals like iron and zinc, and even small amounts of healthy fats.

Why your cat should eat steak

Do cats like steak? Even though cats mostly need proteins from other animals, a small amount of cooked steak can be good for them in some ways. Steak is full of high-quality protein that can help keep muscles in good shape and keep the coat shiny. People can also feel healthier and have more energy when they take vitamins like B12.

Possible Dangers of Feeding Steak

When a cat eats something it hasn't had before, it can make its digestive system sick. Even though steak is full of protein, some cats may have trouble digesting it. If they eat steak too often or too much, it can throw off their diet.

Is it okay for cats to eat steak?

Cats can eat small amounts of plainly cooked steak in small amounts and under certain conditions. But it's important to avoid too many spices, marinades, and fat. Onions and garlic, which are often used to cook steak, are poisonous for cats and should be avoided.

Can a cat break down steak?

Cats have a special digestive system that makes it easy for them to break down protein from animals. Do cats like steak? Even though they can handle small amounts of other food, they can't get enough nutrients from plant-based foods. Steak, which is high in protein, is a better food for a cat to eat because of this.

Signs that a cat has eaten too much steak

Do cats like steak? If a cat eats too much steak or is exposed to things that are bad for it, it might throw up, have diarrhea, lose energy, and stop eating. If you eat too much onion or garlic, you could have more serious side effects like stomach pain and damage to your red blood cells.

Stop cats from eating steak by mistake.

Do cats like steak? It's very important to stop people from drinking by accident. Steak that has already been cooked can be stored safely, but table scraps and leftovers should be handled with care. Keep an eye on cats while they are eating to stop them from getting to foods that could hurt them.

How Much Steak Can You Give to a Cat?

Do cats like steak? Cats getting food Sometimes it's nice to have small pieces of cooked steak that aren't seasoned or decorated. The amount should be small and in line with how much they normally eat.

How Much to Feed and How Often

You shouldn't eat steak every day; it should be a treat once in a while. If you eat too many foods that are high in protein, your diet could become unbalanced, which could be bad for your health.

Other options and additions

Cats should not eat steak instead of food that gives them all the nutrients they need. Treats would be better if they were made of lean meat, store-bought cat treats, or food made especially for pets.

Does steak taste good to cats?

Cats are carnivores, so a small amount of plain cooked steak can be added to their diet. But cats have special dietary needs, and the majority of what they eat should be high-quality animal proteins.

Last Word on Giving Your Cat Steak

Do cats like steak? Even though it's easy to see why pets might want to eat what people do, their health and happiness should always come first. Cats have special dietary needs, and it's important to make sure they get the right amount of food.

Why it's important to talk to a vet about your pet's diet

Veterinarians know what cats should eat and can give accurate advice about it. Before adding new foods to a cat's diet, it's important to talk to a vet to make sure that the additions fit with their dietary needs.

Adding steak to a cat's diet should be done very carefully and with the help of a professional. Talk to an expert about your cat's food so you can make smart choices.

[catbreedstips]

Can Cats Eat Steak? Cooked or Raw? Get Advice & Health Care For Your Cat

 Getting started

People know that cats like meat, which makes them wonder if they can eat the same things as humans. When we think about giving our cats a juicy steak, we want to know more about its nutritional value, possible benefits, possible risks, and whether or not a cat's stomach can handle it.

What's in a steak in terms of nutrition?

Does a cat like steak? Steak is a popular food because it has a lot of important nutrients and protein. Steak is a muscle meat, so it gives cats the high-quality protein they need to keep their muscles healthy and stay healthy overall. It has different amounts of important vitamins like B vitamins (B12 and niacin), minerals like iron and zinc, and even small amounts of healthy fats.

Why you should feed your cat steak

Does a cat like steak? Even though cats mostly need proteins from other animals, small amounts of cooked steak can be good for them in some ways. The high-quality protein in steak can help keep muscles in shape and keep the coat shiny. People can also feel healthier and have more energy by taking vitamins like B12.

Possible Dangers of Giving Steak

When a cat eats something it has never had before, it can make its digestive system sick. Steak is full of protein, but some cats may have trouble digesting it. If they eat too much steak or get it too often, it can mess up their diet.

Can cats safely eat steak?

Cats can eat small amounts of plainly cooked steak in certain situations and in small amounts. But you should stay away from too many seasonings, marinades, and fat. Cats should stay away from onions and garlic, which are often used to cook steak.

Can cats break down beef?

Cats have a special way of digesting food that makes it easy for them to break down animal proteins. Does a cat like steak? Even though they can handle small amounts of other foods, plant-based foods can't give them enough nutrients. Because steak is high in protein, it is a better food for a cat to eat.

Cats can get sick from eating too much steak.

Does a cat like steak? If a cat eats too much steak or is exposed to things that are bad for it, it might throw up, have diarrhea, feel tired, and lose its appetite. If you eat too much onion or garlic, you could get more serious side effects like stomach pain and damage to your red blood cells.

Stop cats from eating steak by accident.

Does a cat like steak? It is very important to stop people from drinking by accident. Steak that has already been cooked can be stored safely, but you should be careful with table scraps and leftovers. Keep an eye on cats while they eat to make sure they don't get into things that could hurt them.

How Much Steak Can a Cat Have?

Does a cat like steak? Giving food to cats Sometimes it's nice to eat small pieces of cooked steak that aren't seasoned or decorated. The amount should be small and about the same as what they usually eat.

How Much and How Often to Feed

You shouldn't eat steak every day; it should be a special treat once in a while. If you eat too many foods that are high in protein, your diet could become out of balance, which could be bad for your health.

Different options and extras

Cats shouldn't eat steak instead of food that gives them all the nutrients they need. Better treats would be made of lean meat, store-bought cat treats, or food made just for pets.

Are cats able to eat steak?

Cats are meat eaters, so a small amount of plain cooked steak can be added to their diet. But cats have specific dietary needs, and most of what they eat should be high-quality proteins from animals.

Thoughts on Giving Your Cat Steak for Dinner

Does a cat like steak? Even though it's easy to understand why pets might want to eat what people eat, their health and happiness should always come first. Cats have specific dietary needs, and it's important to make sure they're getting the right amount of food.

How important it is to talk to a vet about your pet's diet

Veterinarians know what cats should eat and can give good advice about it. Before giving a cat new foods, it's important to talk to a vet to make sure that the new foods fit with their needs.

If you want to feed your cat steak, you should do it carefully and with the help of a professional. Talk to an expert so you can make smart choices about what to feed your cat.

[dickwheelie]

this is a few days late but it’s still technically Hanukkah, so! here’s a fic about Jon and Martin celebrating Hanukkah in the safehouse (shhh timelines aren’t real) because I like to project and I really like the idea of Jon being Jewish. a lot of us are having weird holidays this year, away from friends and family, so the boys having a weird one too seemed appropriate. in particular, Jon not having a menorah because I don’t have one this year either :(

the stuff in this is based on my own experiences celebrating Hanukkah growing up in a pretty secular household, so if you see anything that’s “wrong” then that’s why, lol. the prayer is accurate as far as I know though, it’s the same one my family and I sing every year.

(also this is not a good representation of how to make rugelach! if you really want a good recipe, hmu and if you ask nicely I might share my mother’s 😁)

enjoy and Happy Hanukkah!! 💙🕎✡️💙

___________

“I just feel bad,” Martin said, watching from the sofa as Jon put the challah in the oven. “You’re doing all this cooking, and I’m just sitting on the couch like a lump. And this is supposed to be your holiday.”

“Martin, for the tenth time, it’s fine. Besides, the holiday doesn’t actually start until sundown,” Jon called, cheerfully enough, from the kitchen. Jon liked cooking, Martin knew, and he didn’t really see it as a chore in the same way Martin did. Still, this was a special day for Jon (well, eight days, really), and Martin wanted to be of some use. He’d offered to do everything from peeling potatoes to rolling matzoh balls, but Jon, ever the control freak in the kitchen, had stopped him at every turn. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty about not helping out as Jon bustled about, trying to make Hanukkah dinner for the both of them.

More than helping out, really, Martin just kind of . . . wanted to share this with Jon. The way Jon talked about it, it sounded as though he’d had more Hanukkahs alone than with friends or what little family he had. Martin wanted to make Jon feel like he didn’t have to be alone this year, and even if Martin was new to this, he was game to learn. Jon had already told him about the holiday and all the different foods he was making, but there was still some distance there, a disconnect, that Martin knew Jon wasn’t putting between them on purpose. It seemed to Martin more like a force of habit than anything else.

After setting the timer for the challah, Jon nodded, satisfied, and came over to join Martin on the couch. He slouched against him comfortably, and Martin automatically put an arm around his shoulders. Jon had a bit of flour on his nose, and Martin gently swiped it off, which made Jon’s face wrinkle up like a disgruntled cat. Bloody adorable, Martin thought.

“I get a bit of a break before I have to start on the latkes in a few hours,” Jon said. “Got to make those right before dinner so they’re fresh.”

“Can I please help with those?” Martin said, half-joking.

“Fine,” Jon laughed, “yes, Martin, you can help with the latkes.”

“You won’t regret it.”

“I’m sure.”

“Is there dessert?” Martin asked, offhandedly. He hadn’t noticed Jon getting out any sugar or making anything sweet that day. “Do people eat anything sweet on Hanukkah?”

“Well, there’s gelt,” Jon says. “Chocolate coins. But the grocer’s didn’t have any. Unsurprisingly.”

Martin laughed. “Yeah. Probably not a huge priority in the Highlands.”

“People also make rugelach, sometimes.”

“Arugula?”

Jon laughed, not unkindly. “Rugelach. Different from the vegetable. Very different,” he said. “It’s a pastry. A kind of holiday cookie, I guess you could call it. Sweet dough with chocolate or cinnamon inside. It’s simple to make, but I didn’t buy the right stuff for it, and honestly I have enough cooking to do.”

“Yeah? How d’you make it?” Martin asked, innocently enough, though an idea was brewing.

As Jon explained, he waved his hands in the air, miming the process. “You just roll out some pastry dough, cover it with chocolate or cinnamon or walnuts or whatever you like, cut it into strips, and roll them up.” He thought for a moment. “They look a bit like seashells.”

“Huh,” Martin said. “Seems easy enough.” He’d never made dough before, but how hard could it be, really. The hardest part, he figured, would be actually making the things in their tiny cabin and even tinier kitchen without Jon finding out.

Soon after that, the oven timer started beeping, announcing that the bread was done. Martin took advantage of Jon busying himself in the kitchen to slip out the door, giving him some offhand excuse about wanting to get some air, to which Jon waved him off.

In the baking aisle at the grocer’s, Martin quickly realized he was out of his depth. He stared at the display of flour and sugar and baking powder and all sorts of other stuff, utterly at a loss as to what one needed to make pastry dough. He tried, once again, to Google a recipe on his phone, but once again, there was no service and no wifi.

Well, there was always pre-made, frozen dough. Not ideal, but it’d probably work in a pinch. Much faster to make, too, Martin thought as he dropped a couple cans of it into his basket. The filling, at least, he knew he’d be able to handle; he grabbed a few bags of baking chocolate and a shaker of cinnamon, and brought everything up to the checkout counter.

Martin didn’t even know which lucky stars to thank when he arrived back at the cabin to find the kitchen empty, and Jon passed out on the bed in a post-challah, pre-latke cooking nap. Martin gently closed the bedroom door and immediately set to baking.

Going by Jon’s vague descriptions, he rolled out some of the dough into a flat oval shape, but the pre-made kind wasn’t meant to be used all at once, and the end result was a sort of lumpy mass. Digging around in the cupboards, he was able to find some flour, which helped make the dough less sticky, at least. Eventually, he was able to get it flat enough to cover it with the filling, like Jon had told him. Half of the dough he covered in cinnamon, liberally shaking it out all over the dough. The other half he covered with the baking chocolate, which came in little chunks, but he figured it would melt in the oven just fine.

Next, just as Jon had described, he cut the dough into even strips, thin and rectangular, and rolled each of them up, so the filling made a little spiral shape inside. The chocolate ones were a bit chunky and awkward-looking, but, well, it was the taste that counted, wasn’t it.

Martin turned to face the oven, realizing he had no idea how long they ought to bake for, or at what temperature. He checked the instructions on the tins of pre-made dough, deciding to go by whatever they suggested. It wouldn’t do for the dough to be raw, he figured.

Soon enough, the pastries were in the oven, and Jon was still dead to the world, none the wiser. Martin felt quite satisfied as he cleaned up, mentally patting himself on the back for a job well- and stealthily-done. He’d hide them in the oven, he decided, until after dinner, and then he’d surprise Jon. Smiling, he went to join Jon in bed, curling up next to him as he slept, until he fell asleep himself.

Martin woke groggily several hours later to Jon gently shaking him awake, telling him it was time to make the latkes. He’d already got the batter done, a thick, floury mixture of potato and onion, and a pan of oil was bubbling on the stove. Jon showed Martin how to drop spoonfuls of batter into the pan, patting them down to shape them into little fist-sized “pancakes.” He let both sides brown in the oil until they were nice and crispy, before transferring them onto a paper towel-covered plate to cool. It was simple enough, and Martin was able to finish up the batch as Jon set the table, bringing out the challah and matzoh ball soup he’d made, as well as sour cream and apple sauce to dip the latkes in.

Once the latkes were done (and Martin was quite proud to say they’d come out very nicely), Jon retrieved some red wine he’d gotten in the village and poured them both a glass. Then, as Martin was getting ready to sit down, Jon glanced around sheepishly, gesturing at an empty space on the kitchen counter.

“I, ah, normally I’d have a menorah to light. But obviously I didn’t bring one when we came up. And out here, well, it’s the same as with the gelt. No real place to buy one.”

“Oh,” Martin said, heart sinking. He reached out to squeeze Jon’s hand. “That’s a shame. I’m really sorry.”

“Really, I just wish I could show you,” Jon said, shaking his head as he took his seat at the table. “It’s really lovely. You light a new candle every night, and when they’re all lit . . . I’m sure it’d look nice here, especially.” He gestured at the space in front of the darkened kitchen window.

“Yeah,” Martin agreed, wistfully. He’d seen photos of menorahs before, and he could just picture it, he and Jon gathered around, lighting candle after candle as the eight nights passed.

“Well,” Jon said, turning back to face Martin at the table, “we may not have a menorah, but I can still do the blessing.”

“Blessing?”

“Yes. You’re supposed to do it while lighting the menorah, but, well. I’m sure this will do, given the circumstances.” Jon reached his hand across the table, and Martin took it.

“Alright.” Jon cleared his throat, almost self-consciously, and then began to sing in Hebrew, a melodic, practical tune that sounded comfortable and familiar on his tongue, like a well-worn shawl. “Barukh ata Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav, v’tzivanu, l’hadlik ner, shel Hanukkah.”

Martin couldn’t really sing along to the words, but he nodded along to the melody, and when Jon was done he looked up at him and smiled, and Martin beamed back. They both raised their glasses and drank.

They ate heartily, or at least Martin did, because Jon kept shoving second and third bowls of soup at him, and insisting he finish off the latkes. Not that Martin was complaining, of course; it was all delicious, and Jon did praise him for how nice the latkes had come out.

They left the dirty dishes for later (or, knowing the two of them, tomorrow morning), and after dinner they went straight for presents. Though his options were limited without online shopping or anything outside of the tiny village, Martin had managed to find an adorable little painted china Highland cow in a local antiques shop.

“I know you think they’re cute,” Martin said as Jon lifted it out of the box.

“How did you know,” Jon deadpanned, but he grinned as he brought it up to his nose and stared at its little painted snout. “I love it, Martin, thank you.”

Jon had gone the homemade route, and knitted Martin a scarf. And a pair of mittens. And an entire bloody sweater.

“Oh my god, Jon,” Martin said, staring in disbelief at the mounds of knitwear before him. “How did you find time to do all this? How did you find time to do all this without me knowing?”

Jon looked away sheepishly. “I, uh, I’m a fast knitter.”

Martin shook his head fondly. Unbelievable. But he immediately took off the sweater he’d been wearing and pulled on the one Jon had made. It fit rather well and was as cozy as it looked. “Thank you, Jon,” he said, feeling the sleeves, knowing that every loop and stitch of the fabric had been purposeful. He could practically feel the care and love Jon had put into each one of them. “I love it,” he said, leaning over to kiss Jon at the corner of his eye.

“Well,” Jon said, cheeks darkening, “Happy Holidays, then.”

“Oh,” Martin said, rising from the sofa, “I’ve actually got one more thing. Sort of a last-minute gift.”

“Hm?”

Martin went over to the oven and took out the trays of rugelach. He’d checked them earlier to see if they were cooked through, but hadn’t gotten the chance to taste one yet. “Tried my hand at a bit of dessert,” he said, selecting a couple nice-looking ones and putting them on a plate for Jon to try.

Jon had followed Martin into the kitchen, and was staring at the pastries lined up on the trays. “Oh, well, thank you,” he said, surprised, taking the plate Martin handed to him. “What are they?”

Martin cocked his head at him. “Rugelach,” he said. Wasn’t it obvious?

Jon’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Ah,” he said, voice strained with positivity. “Of course. Right.”

Martin was starting to get a sinking feeling in his stomach.

Gingerly, Jon took one of the rolled-up pastries, and bit into it.

Martin tried one as well. It was one of the chocolate ones, and it was . . . crunchy. Very crunchy. The chocolate, it seemed, had only partially melted in the oven, and the pastry dough itself was a bit hard to bite through. Besides that, it wasn’t very sweet, the chocolate being too dark and the dough being too salty.

He tried a cinnamon one. Again, the dough was crunchy, and the cinnamon was overpowering without any sweetness to it. Martin considered the possibility that perhaps he ought to have added sugar.

Jon, for his part, was doing his best impression of a person who was very much enjoying the pastry they were eating, honest. “Mmm,” he said, demonstratively, as he swallowed one of the cinnamon ones. “Thank you, Martin, these are . . . delicious.”

Jon was actually reaching for seconds, which Martin knew he was only doing to make him feel better, so he reached out a hand and placed it on Jon’s, stopping him short.

Jon looked up at him. Martin shook his head wordlessly. Jon cracked a smile.

“They’re not good,” Martin said, putting them back on the trays one by one.

“Martin--”

“It’s okay,” Martin said, smiling back at him, “I know. They’re rubbish. I didn’t even use a recipe, of course they were gonna turn out--”

“Well,” Jon said, stubbornly, “you tried. It’s the thought that counts. Thank you, Martin, really,” Jon said, bringing up Martin’s hand to kiss the back of it. “It was very sweet of you to put all this effort into it.”

“Next time, I’ll look up a recipe,” Martin said, bringing one of the trays over to the kitchen bin. Jon was quick to assist him.

“There’s seven nights of Hanukkah left,” Jon said, after a moment’s thought. “We can always try again. Tomorrow, we’ll get more ingredients, and I’ll show you how to do it properly. It really is easy, you just need . . . well. Sugar, for one.”

Martin laughed as he tossed the last of the batch away. “Okay. We’ll try again tomorrow.”

“I mean it, though,” Jon said, looking at him fondly. “Thank you. For this, and for the cow, and for sharing the holiday with me. It’s . . . this has been really . . .”

Jon was gesturing in the empty air, struggling for the proper word, but Martin understood well enough. “Yeah,” he said. “And thank you, for sharing it with me.” He pressed a kiss to Jon’s cheek.

“Happy Hanukkah, Jon.”

[writing-the-end]

LoL Chapter 51- Fallen Angel

(Sorry this is late! i got my vaccine and it mcfucking knocked me out lol)

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU, designs, ideas belongs to @theguardiansofredland)

The hermits return to Eremita from a restocking trip, to discover they have been raided. And one hermit has been taken. 

Warning: Capture, slight torture scene

_________________________________

Eremita has become their safe haven, the last bastion for the guild. Even when the arcane guard chased them all the way to the water’s edge, no sane person would dare follow the hermits into the Ashioll sea. Which is exactly why they lived in its mysterious, misty embrace. 

They could no longer simply fly off upon the backs of sky turtles, or even teleport into the towns they frequented. Now, when the hermits absolutely had to go into public for supplies they couldn’t make or grow themselves, they sailed in on Cleo’s pirate ship. And when they had to leave, they made sure that if anyone was following them, they took a roundabout direction back to their home. It adds time, weaving between the islands and through the mists, but ensures no one can guess where they live. 

Cleo’s pirate ship beaches up onto the sand, nestling back into place as a wrecked vessel once more. The dream magic fades, revealing broken oak boards, seagrass growing through seams, and splintered masts of the ghost ship Cleo commands. Hypno blinks free from his sleep, rubbing his eyes and yawning. “Already? Man, my dream was just starting to get interesting.” 

With the help of rattling skeletons, their bones held together by magical muscle and sinew, the hermits unload food, meats, fabrics, and more. Enough for months, as if they were preparing to be snowed in after a massive blizzard. Almost all the hermits were a part of the flow of supplies. 

Almost. Only three hermits stayed behind. Zedaph had an accident with his two explosive friends, and while it wasn’t the first time, Grian wanted to keep an eye on the burns in case the magic lingered. Mumbo stayed behind as well, but for very different reasons. One, he was easily recognizable. Everyone knows the multimage that Dolios wants captured alive. Him and Grian are the only two who Dolios demands be captured alive. He also was in the middle of inventing some new contraption, and was not about to leave it behind and lose all his progress. Last Cleo saw of him, he was extinguishing burning locks of hair. She wonders if he’s made any progress, or if he’s burned all his hair away at this point.

Once Impulse and Tango have unloaded their share of the shipment, they go in search of their friend. Both still feel bad for burning Zed, even if it was by accident. And they’ve all been burned at this point in all their years together. But it doesn’t mean they don’t feel bad, especially leaving Zed behind. At least they brought back a caramel apple from his favorite stall in the market, as well as fresh hay for his barn and animal friends. 

“Zed? We have a surprise for you!” Tango calls, his voice twinged with mischief, as if they plan to prank their friend rather than give him a gift. No response comes from the flat roofed barn, except the distant bleat of a sheep. Tango looks at Impulse, fiery hair remaining vertical even as his head tips to the side. “Could he be taking a nap?” 

“You know Zed and his sleep schedule, he wouldn’t interrupt it, even when he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.” Impulse waves it off. “He probably just isn’t listening, or maybe pulling a prank of his own. Let’s go in.” 

Impulse waves Tango through the gate, careful to keep the sheep, goats, and other farm animals from getting between Tango’s feet and causing his hair to ignite the dry hay in his arms. A horse nips at the bale, but Tango keeps it well away from catching fire. He’s relieved to lighten the load he’s carrying as soon as they're inside the barn. Both mages look to the bed tucked in the corner, but no Zedaph. Tango tosses the haybale aside. “He should be resting.” 

They clamber over the piles of hay, searching every nook and cranny for Zedaph. Even his cookie stash, which they let him believe is still a secret. But Zed is nowhere within the barn he chooses to live in. 

Concern pales both Impulse and Tango’s face, and Tango’s hair reacts in kind to the revelation. “Perhaps he’s being treated by Grian?” 

Tango doesn’t answer, already following the path across the width of the island, from one shore to another. Grian’s floating cloud, the quartz tower with large archways and a glass domed roof. Perfectly built for a sky angel, his wings and speed. Not so perfect for his roommate, and all of Mumbo’s redstone machinery, his own lanky body climbing up onto the solid cloud and stairs to sleeping quarters.

The redstone workshop at the base of the building has been cleaned up, though a few vials seem to have rolled away, as if they were grabbed then subsequently dropped. But, just like the barn, no sign of Mumbo. 

But there is a sound. Echoing from the glass dome, a sniffling, stifling cry escapes from above, followed by a gasping, shuddering breath. Impulse runs up the steps as fast as possible, each bounce from stair to stair accentuated with a tiny explosion to give him more speed. Tango blazes behind, fire burning bright as the sun as energy courses through him. He notices on the way up grey streaks against the pure white quartz. 

“Zedaph?” Impulse breathes, screeching to a full stop. In the center of the room, Mumbo and Zed are huddled close, holding on tight. Their eyes wild with fear, and in Zed’s eyes he can see a shared memory. A shared trauma him, Impulse, and Tango all share. Two hermits, holding onto each other like its their last hope. 

Only two. “Where’s Grian?” 

Mumbo opens his mouth, but a strangled cry only escapes. Tears fall from both their faces, shaking like leaves. Something bad has happened to their friend. Tango slides across the floor, grabbing Zedaph and Mumbo. “What happened? Where’s Grian? Are you hurt?” 

They both shake their heads, but finally Mumbo gathers enough of his voice to speak. It’s weak, broken apart like glass shattering. “He took him.” 

__________________________________________________

A cold, wet air fills Grian’s lungs, biting into his skin like ice on a cold morning. When he tries to open his eyes, the dull ache of his skull becomes sharp, forcing the angel to screw them closed again. Grian grimaces, trying to figure out why he has such a terrible headache. Did he hit his head in training? No, he wouldn’t have been allowed to sleep with the hermits hovering over him. Perhaps he drank too much. Once again, impossible. Grian knows what his hangover is like, and it’s not this. 

He realizes he’s definitely hanging, but not from drinking. Cold, hard metal presses flat against his wrists, suspended over his head. The iron bites into his skin, all his weight rubbing his wrists raw. 

“Good, you’re awake. I was starting to get bored waiting, though I do quite enjoy relishing in finally having my prize thirty years in the making.” The snide, even tempo of Magistrate Dolios’s voice hurts worse than any headache or wrist, and Grian finally manages to open his eyes. The cavern he finds himself in is foreign, not even remotely similar to the brick and iron dungeons where he last woke up in Dolios’s clutches. So long ago, it feels like. The Championship. At the time, he felt like he was at the top of the world. Now? Now he feels like the world was crushing him. 

Grian resists his bindings, but even when he kicks outward, his feet don’t even scrape the dank floor. He tips his head back, until the crown of his head collides with a smooth, hard material. Just at the touch, he can feel the oppressive energy of the crystal. In his vision, he sees the sharp tip of the massive gem. Each wrist is locked tight against the crystal, the nails buried deep in the crystal lattice. 

He looks around, searching for other hermits. For Mumbo, the last face he remembers before…

The memories flood in, cascading alongside the fear and panic. He remembers everything, every terrifying second. Leaving Zedaph to meet with Mumbo, he remembers the scent of marigolds on his hands, just after crushing the petals to make a paste for Zedaph’s burns. The quiet island, most of the other hermits gone. He remembers patting his pocket, the note from his best friend telling him to meet at Iskall’s place. 

But when he arrived, Mumbo was nowhere to be seen. It wasn’t unusual, Mumbo tended to get distracted and be late. So he waited, plucking orange petals from his clothes, hair, and hands. He should’ve noticed the way the wind shifted, becoming cold and stale, before disappearing completely. 

He should’ve realized something was very wrong when the grey stormcloud appeared. But he didn’t. He was so focused on waiting for Mumbo, then on getting rid of the flowers in his feathers, that he didn’t see the husks crawl their way free of the ocean. At least, not until the husk of a soldier came barreling for him, empty glowing white eyes and ashen, flaky form charging with halberd drawn.  

Grian squeaked, dodging the attack. Stumbled over the writhing form of a cactus cat, the fading spines still quite sharp, he was saved by a pair of not-grey arms. 

Not grey arms draped in wine red fabric, the hems decorated in gold thread. He realized who it was immediately, and scrambled to try and get away. But Dolios’s magic kept a strong grip, vines of black twisting and tying Grian’s wings to his back, while a hazy fog had grown around them. 

He remembers the feeling of Dolios’s hands in his hair, pulling him to his feet as he struggled and fought against the vines and the fog that filled his mind. Hands clawing at his binds, even biting the magistrate at one point. He remembers the taste of blood, iron on his tongue and Dolios swearing, blasting Grian with magic. 

And the last thing he remembers, before being knocked out and torn away from his home, was Mumbo’s face. Rounding the corner, completely oblivious to the fight occurring. It was at that moment that Grian realized, when his eyes locked with Mumbo’s that it wasn’t him that sent the letter. The confusion, of seeing Grian, the surprise on his face. He was walking towards the infirmary, dropping the box  in his hand upon seeing the sight before him. 

The fear on Mumbo’s face matched Grian’s own, as he was dragged into the sea. A second later, a swift burst of sonic energy knocked him out. 

And now he’s here. Dolios saunters across the room, gathering ingredients and writing down notes. Grian swings his legs, and summons his wings to try and be free. But as soon as the blue and white feathers appear, they crumble into ash. Crushing weight sets in on his head, his shoulders, his lungs, and his magic, and the crystal he’s trapped against hums with power. “You’re quite different from the last angel I hunted. At least you fought back, but in the end they left me without the gift of their magic. This time, I’m not letting anything go to chance.” 

The magistrate sets his bowl of guts aside, approaching the crystal and Grian. His hands are clasped behind his back, shoulders straight and head held high. The weight of the oppressive dark magic doesn’t bother him. Grian’s not ready to give up just yet. He attempts to kick Dolios, but the dark mage stands mere centimeters out of reach. So Grian decides to use his words. “You’re kind of an asshole, you know that?” 

“I’ve been told that once or twice before, yes. But the rest of Lairyon loves me. And why wouldn’t they? I’ve brought prosperity to this kingdom, done more than that stupid rainbow king could ever do, and all of this because of my power.” Dolios sweeps his hands, vapors of dark magic swirling from his fingers as his fingers clench to fists

“Stolen magic. If the citizens knew, they’d hate you just as much as I do.” Grian reels back his head, and does the best he can to annoy Dolios. He spits on him. The glob of spit lands on Dolios’s cheek, the magistrate flinching, then reaching up and wiping it away. A fresh anger in his eyes. 

“And who would believe you? An outcast mercenary orphan? The last of your kind?” Dolios stoops low, plucking a husked feather from the floor. He walks back to the table, mixing the components and ingredients from his jars of death with Grian’s feather. “Your power is rare. Angelic mages are always powerful, a power I crave. You will be a wonderful addition to my collection of magic. The last of the angels to complete my set!” 

A fearful shiver ricochets down Grian’s spine. “You’re going to turn me into a husk?” 

“Oh, gods no!” Dolios laughs, so loud that it echoes off the cavern walls as he throws his head back, brown curls dancing across rich fabric. “I wouldn’t dare waste such magic to become simple energy for me and my beast. No, no. Do not fret, little bird, you will become so much more. I don’t plan to drain your energy. I plan to steal it.” 

The hunger in Dolios’s eyes as he turns, the concoction in his hand, Grian realizes what he's seen all this time in Dolios’s eyes. Hunger. A madman hellbent on taking what he sees as rightfully his.. A predator stalking his prey. And Grian was cornered, pinned. Unable to fight back, unable to fly away. Fear is replaced by terror, a sensation Grian struggles to fight back. He needs to think clearly if he hopes to survive. 

“The last angel died before my powers were…” Grian pauses, seeing the coy smile on Dolios’s face. 

“I always had a-” Dolios pauses, waving his hand nonchalantly before marking the ground around the crystal spires with dark seal. “-fascination with angelic wizards. A dear friend of mine in my youth was one. Ever since then, I knew I had to have that kind of magic in my collection. So strong, each and every one of you. With magic even the ancient ones revered. And now?” 

Dolios steps back, casting his magic circle. Rather than emitting color and light, it absorbs all color to make the pattern of his magic. He raises his hands, and two satellite crystals awaken. Darkness swirls in the lattice of the gems, mist eeking out through pores and filling the cavern with darkness. When the mist reaches the seal surrounding the crystal Grian’s chained to, the spire behind him, pressed against his back, activates. The pressure on his body, his magic becomes unbearable, breaking into pain. Like a harpoon through his chest, the dark magic takes hold. Biting down, biting in. 

And slowly, agonizingly stealing his magic. So intrinsically tied to his soul, hsi lifeforce, it feels as if his very being is being dragged from every inch of his body in contact with the crystal. He writhes to escape the painful magic, but the bonds hold firm and he struggles to catch his breath. Dolios steps back, basking with ravished delight at the scene before him. Enjoying the pain that tears at Grian’s skin, soul, and spell. “Now the magic will soon be mine.”

[sugarless-suki-writes]

First Lines Meme

Tagged by @nikkxb -- sorry it's taken me so long to get to this, lmao

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!)

See if there are any patterns.

Choose your favorite opening lines.

Then tag 10 authors!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just kinda went to my recents on my google docs, so this is gonna have a mix of stuff, some original stuff too. ye :3 but I'm starting with fics that I currently have posted online. All of them are the first paragraph of the update that's in progress

Favorites have bolded and italicized titles :3

1. Sobriety || KouKag

Kagome had three sessions of therapy so far and she wasn’t fully sure how to feel. She knew it was helping her, but she was left feeling so.... raw and open after every session that she felt like she was just back pedaling and it was hard to cope with. A part of her wanted to just stop altogether and go back to self medicating, but she knew that this was just part of the process. The first couple sessions were going to be hard because there was just so much to unpack, but her therapist was nice and calm and patient with her. She really had to thank Kouga again when she saw him later today.

2. 100 Arms, 100 Years || KouKag

This was the fifth day that an offering had been left in front of Kagome’s door for her. The fifth time she would receive the carcass of a large animal that she wouldn’t accept. The fifth time that Inuyasha found himself in front of her and Kikyō’s shared hut and bringing the carcass to the village for her. His fifth time taking the credit for a hunt he had no part in. He had to admit, this was quickly grating on his nerves. He hated the attention that he was getting from the villagers now. They praised him for shit that he didn’t do. That, and he didn’t want to be praised for anything. It was bad enough that he practically had the Sacred Jewel within his grasp and wasn’t able to use it to become a full-fledged youkai, but now he was being celebrated as a hero by some mere humans? Keh... they’re lucky I don’t tell them what this is all actually about. I bet they wouldn’t be so happy then. He sniffed and scratched at his nose. He talked a big game, but Inuyasha knew deep down that he would never do anything to hurt them. If he did that, that would in turn hurt Kikyō and he couldn’t do that to her.

3. Big God || KouKag

Kagome let out a frustrated huff as she shoved her phone into her pocket. She then plopped down onto the couch, tucking her legs up underneath her and curling into Kouga’s side. “That’s the fourth test we’ve ran, and we just... can’t figure out what the hell that stuff is... It’s so frustrating!” she grumbled.

4. You are the Moon || KouKag

Kagome took care of dinner that night, going out to pick up a few things she would need before returning home and cooking. Her mother tried to talk her out of it, but Kagome insisted, wanting to give her mother a break for the night and do something nice for the family. She missed them, and she wanted to make up for being gone for so long.

5. The Demon of Nabewari Yama || KouKag

Kagome let out a small huff as she looked up at the mountain she was heading towards. She had been traveling for several days, bordering a week now, looking for somewhere to settle. However, all the villages she had come across already had a miko or monk residing there, and if they didn’t, they didn’t want one. To be fair, there weren’t many villages she had come across between her hometown and here, and sure, maybe she should go further out after completing her training, but it was still just a little frustrating.

6. Seasons of Love || ZelGan

Zelda looked herself over in the mirror, and the corners of her lips pulled down into a small frown. Her hair was pulled up into an extravagant updo, several locks braided and pulled into the bun that rested on the back of her head. There were some flowers pinned in as well, all of them white in color. She would have preferred something with a pop of color, so they would stand out against her hair; but she figured that, in the end, everything had to match her dress.

7. Gerudotown || ZelGan -- Title may change for this, idk lmao

Ganondorf let out a grunt as he dismounted from his horse. The beast was large with a jet-black coat and a matching mane. He gave the steed a pat on his neck before handing the reins to a stable boy, holding back a chuckle from the look on the boy’s face. He was certain the child had never seen a beast so big, nor a Gerudo, based on how he was looking up at Ganondorf with wide, disbelieving eyes.

8. Shit, Let's be Pirates || DaveJade

Jade ran down the dirt path leading to a hidden beach. She had just gotten out of class and was eager to go down to the coves. She wanted to find some cool shells and snap a couple pictures for her biology class. She always went above and beyond in that class, but she just had a passion for marine life.

9. Changing Fate || ZelGan

“You can’t possibly be serious about this, father!” Zelda snapped indignantly. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides and her face was contorted in rage. King Rimoll let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. They had been at this “conversation” for what felt like hours. He didn’t expect it to go this badly. Of course, he didn’t expect it to go well in the first place, but this was beyond what he anticipated.

10. Moon Bonds || KouKag

All Hallow’s Eve. A powerful night for witches and magick users alike. A night that better helped connect them to the spirits of the earth and those who had been lost. It was a night that Kagome looked forward to every year. The surge of magick that tingled under her skin and filled her very being... by the goddess it was an amazing feeling. And this year would be even more delightful and powerful.

11. Princess and the Pirate || Amuto

Growing up, Amu had been told many stories about pirates, everyone on her small island had. But Amu felt as if she had heard more than most. Her mother would tell her tales before bed about the pirates on a ship called the Emerald Line. Despite the name of the ship, its hull and sails were completely black. The only speck of color was the pirate flag it flew, which was emerald green and depicted a cat head with crossbones beneath. It was also known to be the fastest ship to sail the seas.

12. The Black Card || KouKag

Kagome paced around her room in her tiny apartment, struggling with picking out an outfit. It was her first day off in a while and she wanted to look cute, seeing as she wouldn’t be restricted by her, somewhat lenient (semi-strict?), dress code at the bookstore. However, she also wanted to be comfortable, so she was at a bit of an impasse. It wasn’t really as big a deal as she was making it out to be, but she was exhausted and she hoped that dressing nice would throw Sango off her trail. With a huff, she finally settled on a nice sundress she had stuffed in the back of her closet, one she rarely wore and almost forgot she had. It was light blue in color with a floral print.

13. Harvest Moon || KouKag

Kagome stretched as she woke up that morning. She opened her eyes and saw the torn-up ceiling and frowned to herself ever so slightly. She had moved into the country several days ago and had only recently started working on repairs that her home needed. It was a pretty large house, but the rent was extremely cheap. The only downside was she had to pay for the repairs, but in all honesty… she wasn’t too bothered by it. Apparently the house had been abandoned for years. No one was really sure how long... but Kagome could take a guess that it had been at least a decade with how worn down and dirty things were.

14. Memories || Original Fic - No Pairing

Lotus looked around at the scene before her. It would be an easy job, simple. She could do it in her sleep no problem. She scoffed and looked at the man beside her. “Really? You need me for this?” she asked. He turned to look at her, a scowl on his face.

15. Any Way the Wind Blows || ZelGan

Zelda woke up to the sun on her face. She grumbled and grunted, rolling over onto her side on her small mat. She opened her eyes and looked out ahead of her, at the grass and flowers swaying in the breeze. Her stomach gurgled and she placed a hand on it, a grimace on her lips. Food...

16. Found || KouKag

When Kouga had heard that there was a disturbance along one of their borders, he had been prepared for anything. He pulled together a team quickly, not taking all the strongest warriors, making sure to leave some behind to protect his pack. They ran off, ready to fight. Ready for anything. Anything except this.

17. Interlude IV (Showtime) || KouKag

O Signore, per amor del tuo nome, perdonami la mia iniquità... Perciocche ellà e grande Kagome sat there in the street, blood seeping through her clothes and soaking her knees. Tears continued to stream down her cheeks in a never ending flow. Her breath kept catching in the back of her throat as she tried to force down her sobs. Her hands were curled up into fists, pressed against the pavement, soaked in blood and in pain from being clenched so tightly and pressed so firm against the rough asphalt. Regret, despair, and guilt crushed her heart. They squeezed tight, holding onto her and keeping her trapped in the moment. A moment she’d rather drink away and forget, only for her guilty conscious to bring it back in her dreams at night, keeping her away from the blissfulness of sleep.

18. Bubblegum & Nicotine || Original Fic -- Astrid/Loki

Astrid opened the door to the apartment and latched her keys onto her belt loop. She then bent over to pick up the bags of groceries she had set on the ground to unlock the front door. Once she had crossed the threshold into the house, she raised up her right leg and kicked the door closed behind her. With a bit of a grunt, she hoisted the bags up a tad higher and made her way to the kitchen. She set them down on the counter with a thud and took a moment to catch her breath. She may be in good shape, but carrying several pounds of groceries up three flights of stairs because the elevator was out? That would wind anyone.

19. We Are Complicated || Bubbline

Bonnibel Kaugummi entered the school and was quick to drop her things off in her locker so she could head straight to the Student Council room. She grabbed a couple of her books out of the locker and shoved them into her messenger bag. The tan colored bag complimented her uniform, which consisted of a grey sweater, a red ribbon tied into a neat bow, which was neatly tucked underneath the collar of her white button up shirt underneath her sweater, and a red plaid skirt. The red accents to her uniform identified her as a Junior, and they complimented her red-orange hair and rosy complexion.

20. The End of All Things || KouKag

Kagome let out a soft sigh as she curled up in her spot on the bench, bringing her legs up to her chest. She was sitting out on the small deck that overlooked the garden in her backyard and watching the rain. It was fairly cool out thanks to the constant drizzle that had begun early that morning. The sound of it pattering against the ground and roof that extended over the deck filled her with a sense of calm, a calm that she desperately needed right about now. Working as a nurse wore her out. She loved her job, of course, but gods if it didn’t have its trials and tribulations. She had been working almost every day for a solid two weeks now, covering shifts for people on top of her own. Thankfully she had a couple of her shifts taken from her after being at the hospital for a full 24 hours at one point in time. Today just so happened to be her natural day off, and she felt pretty great about it.

[lolmyeyebags]

Tempting. But nah, I’m good. Unless? ;)

Summary: You find yourself attempting to swindle a witch. Naturally, it doesn’t work out and she casts a curse on you. How were you supposed to solve this curse before seven days?

Warnings: No smut but it’s basically an intro to a smut series; a prompt?

Word Count: 5,538

A/N: Oneshot? Series? We’ll find out in the next episode of-

Ao3 Link

This is her place, right? You’re sure this is the place you agreed to meet up on. You’ve double checked, no, triple checked your messages with the witch you met on bledit, Tituba. You’ve been to her house before but never in the dark. With your paranoia, you could only imagine how mortifying it would be if you were to arrive in a random demon or witch’s home, knocking on their door, and possibly being eaten or roasted alive. According to her message, you were at the correct destination... which was in the outskirts of the devildom, in the middle of the night.

At least, it felt like nighttime. Since the devildom had no sun - excluding Lord Diavolo’s private beach - your body had to adapt to the climate change and learned to tell time in a different way, and by that it meant you relied on your gut feeling and occasionally, checked the time on your DDD.

The gravel crunched and shuffled with each step you took, and with each step, your gnawing anxiety grew stronger. Please, there’s no way this is the wrong house. Although, maybe it was since it was pitch black and you were a powerless human in the night - ok - get a grip.

You know, maybe this wasn’t your brightest idea. I mean, what if you died in the most embarrassing way? What if a creature of Devildom decided to make you their food, feed you to their offspring, and leave your naked and mutilated body to be found. That’s just… no, you’d rather not think about that. You'd simply pass away if you let yourself die looking crusty as fuck.

Though, you wouldn't have found yourself in your little nighttime adventures if you'd just get a grip and master lucid dreaming the normal way. If you just had enough patience and practiced in a neat and timely routine, you would’ve mastered lucid dreaming and the ability to shift into your ‘desired reality’ as those clickclock creators instructed.

But who were you kidding? You know your dumb ass could never have the patience and consistency to do that. That’s like, some normie type of shit. And you? A whole ‘nother breed. Those foolish little clickclock creators have no idea that you were basically y/n and have a main character complex. What? Don’t look at me like that, me. We’re built? Different.

“Lucid dreaming isn’t that hard, it requires patience and understanding, yeah right,” you mocked the various clickclock creators and sent a pebble flying to a pile of rocks. “Stupid clickclock, stupid lucid dreaming, stupid hard and unobtainable 2d waifus and husbandos.”

All you wanted was to lucid dream once! Just once is enough. You wanted to open you eyes to an animated world and see your beloved 2D characters materialize right before you. Of course, you know it wasn’t all that possible to do in real life. I mean, if even the hardcore otaku himself hasn’t managed such a feat, how could you - the lowly human - accomplish what Mr. The Lord of Shadows couldn’t do for centuries?

And yeah, he’s the Lord of Shadows alright. If you learned anything from your writepod addiction in middle school, it’s the ability to spot a poorly disguised fan fiction based off of celebrities in real life from a mile away. Although, it did surprise you to find that the great author of the legendary TSL series was THE Simeon himself.

I mean, Simeon? Hello? The holiest of angels? That was a shocker.

OOF! You face planted into something soft, almost like a jello cup you’d eat in the summer. You were snapped out of your thoughts as you fell on the prickly leaves, ass first.

“Oh, what the fuck?” You balled your hands into fists and attempted to rub the disorientation away, and standing at a good 6’10” was quite possibly the tallest being you’ve ever laid your eyes on - and the most amusing to make fun of.

The witch fixed her gaze onto you, “you’re late.”

You felt a swirl of emotions wash over you. I wonder how you were going to torment her into casting a lucid dreaming spell on you. Or better yet, have her teach you how to shift realities with her witchy powers. Oh! Or even better, blackmail her into sending you off into a parallel universe in which your favorite anime are real and you were the all mighty ruler of that world, giving you the powers to switch dimensions and warp your realities with a snap of your fingers.

A grin tugged at your lips, “what’re yOu looking at Cocksucker69?”

The witch, Tituba, pressed her lips into a tight lipped smile and hissed, “I thought I told you to not refer to me as that, xXdiavoloismybitchXx.”

“I—“

“Did you forget what followed after you endeavored to bring me humiliation in public? Forget the way those demons turned around, their jaws slack with shock as I uttered your bledit username, exposing you as bledit’s most notorious troller, and all of your-“

“YES! I mean no! No, I haven’t forgotten. You right, my bad,” you shivered at the memory and shook your head.

It was as if it happened yesterday, because it did. It wasn’t the wide array of emotions the demons bore that bothered you. It was the fact Tituba emphasized your username, while you were in the entrance of RAD, no less!

You were one of the two only human exchange students and that made you quite a celebrity in the school. The demons knew that! They weren’t fools. Your username probably struck a cord that inspired a string of gossip and rumors to spread, that would no doubt reach Diavolo. You couldn’t bear the thought of reliving the wave - no, tsunami - of embarrassment that washed over you. No, it felt more like it drowned you. Like damn, that witch really had it out for you!

“Right so,” with a cheshire grin, you prod her arm with your elbow, “where were we?”

She groaned in exasperation.

“Child, you are accelerating my expiration,” the witch brought two fingers and pinched the space between her eyebrows, smoothing out her wrinkles, no doubt caused by you.

“I’ll behave this time, I swear! Scout’s honor!”

“Despite my knowing of my inevitable regret, I’m obligated to continue,” the witch pushed her door open and ushered you in. You stepped inside and a fresh crisp breeze licked at your cheeks. You sighed in content, welcoming the verdant ambiance of Tituba’s cottage.

The lace of your shoes became undone in a second, and in the next, you soared in the air and flopped unceremoniously on Tituba’s sex pit. It wasn’t an actual sex pit though. It was simply an indentation on the wooden floor that Tituba renovated into a conversation pit, which turned into her designated sleeping area, thanks to your persistence.

Pillows, throw pillows, plushies, fluffy blankets - if you had to choose a place to sleep for eternity, it would be Tituba’s sex pit. Your eyes widened in delight as it settled on the long shape of the body pillow you gifted Tituba as an apology gift… After you fell against her cauldron she was using to ferment blood moon water. It spilled all over the floor and became ‘unclean’ as she called it.

“Oh!!! The Barbatos body pillow I gifted you! I knew you still love me! You tsundere simp, you~!”

Tituba met your waggling eyebrows with an unamused stare. “Get to the point, MC.”

Just the slightest, you dipped your head, narrowed your eyes, and put on the biggest smirk you could manage - your signature Robbie Rotten face you always wore as you plan to blackmail her.

———♦︎———♦︎———♦︎———

Yeah, the transactions weren’t as smooth as you thought it would be. Sure, maybe you tried to manipulate Tituba via sabotaging her date who she was talking to through the cinder app. Well, you didn’t try, you succeeded. And as a result, you were put under a supposedly ‘excruciating’ curse that even Solomon himself couldn’t break. ’Supposedly.’

“Heed my words, MC. If you are unable to find salvation by the seventh day, you will meet your demise, devoured by a great and powerful hellfire, subject to—“

“Yuh, I’ma dip, I have to binge my new anime I’ve been obsessed with - bungee street cats - peach out!”

———♦︎———♦︎———♦︎———

What type of curse, spell, whatever it was, was it though? You couldn’t help but ruminate over Tituba’s warning.

...

Nah, she’s just playing with me. She’d never! Right? Even if it was a curse, a prank if you will, what would it be? Were you cursed to break out? An irrational fear of yours you shared with her? Is is that you fear you’d be subject to an embarrassing sequence of events that’d take you out? Fuck, if it was something embarrassing, you’d simply pass away. You had enough with the second hand embarrassment you got from awkward anime characters. You weren’t about to live through your own embarrassment. That was just... too cruel.

Nothing strange or unusual has been happening so far. It was just the normal you, the pure, selfless maiden going on about her life with the seven demon brothers. Sure, it should’ve made you feel better but it only unnerved you even more. Fuck! What exactly was the curse? Maybe you shouldn’t have cut her off and dipped. You felt a thin layer of sweat slowly creep up and you brought a hand up to fan your face. Damn, was it hot in here or was it just your wet ass pussy?

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy. Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy. Give me- ♪

You were snapped out of your thoughts when a firm grip made contact with your shoulders.

A strangled cry left your lips as you doubled over. Fiery ropes of erotism enveloped your body. It was as if every nerve, every vein in your body was coursing with raw pleasure. You felt a blush come over not just your cheeks but your entire body as you locked eyes with the classroom that you disrupted with your lewd… sound.

The professor coughed and proceeded to point to the diagram of a demon, angel, and human anatomy, explaining what the three species have in common and what they don’t.

Your bottom lip sought comfort in being chewed by your teeth. With your head hung and your hair slightly covering your face, you followed the hand on your shoulder to its owner.

My, just how mortifying could it get? It was fucking Simeon. His cheeks were dusted pink and his lips were caught in an ‘o’ and his eyes were filled with surprise, then worry.

“Simeon, I,” your eyes were downcast, refusing to meet his gaze, “I-I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me.”

What the fawk. This is the worst day ever. Now the image of a little lamb you assumed Simeon had for you would be replaced by a horny, hormone monster.

Stupefied, Simeon sat still, staring at you.

Fuck! This is so awkward! I should probably explain that I didn’t mean to release a porn star moan just because he touched my shoulder! I mean, he’s an angel and this is just the worst fucking thing oh my gosh...

And with that, your dumb ass found yourself rambling to Simeon in great, excessive detail of your meeting with Tituba. Even going as far to expose your usernames and directly quoting yourself and that wretched witch.

“Oh my,” he lifted your chin with his fingers and you stiffened, resisting the urge to sing a song of the pleasure that coursed through you. He frowned and studied the way you reacted to his touch. He probably didn’t intend to almost send you into your first orgasm buuuut hot damn. Please, Simeon, stop being so breathtaking with your exposed shoulders.

Hold up. Shoulders? What the hell, just how far did you fall? You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain and you became the villain. You were literally a prime example of why dress code conduct in the human realm prohibited shoulders from being shown in school. Who would’ve thought?

“Not to worry, MC, counseling little lambs in their times of need is our job, after all.”

Fuck, why is he such a gentleman. You felt like putty from his touch alone and your thighs found itself squeezing together as a response to his touch.

“S-Simeon, please,” you grit your teeth and muster all of your willpower to not moan. Continuing with your impromptu explanation, you say, “it’s just, whenever I find myself bumping into anyone, it feels almost uncomfortably good. Like, pleasurable? I don’t know how to explain it but,” your chewed on your lip. “I don’t know how it came to that considering I’m literally as pure as anyone could get but I feel extremely overcome with lust for some reason.”

A husky timbre sang in your ear. “Oh? Is that so?”

Fuck. No no no! You hit back the urge to moan and doubled over in your seat, balling your hands into fists in an attempt to regain yourself.

Who-? Who fuck is this evil? You come back to your seated position and find yourself face to face with Solomon. His eyes were twinkling with pure mischief.

How in the world did you forget that Solomon sat right next to you? Directly to your left, no less. How much did he hear? Knowing him, he probably noticed your state of distress and took full advantage of it, listening in on everything you ranted to Simeon.

“Ah,” he stifled back his laughter, “so you weren’t kidding?”

You pressed your lips together in a tight line, bringing your hand up and preparing to smack a bitch until you realized you’d probably double over again from the skin to skin contact. “Ugh, you’re lucky I can’t strangle you.”

Well, you’re fucked.

“Aww, you shouldn’t be like that, MC!” Solomon brought a hand up to his chest and frowned. “After all, since a powerful witch like Tituba put you under a curse, you’d benefit from having The Greatest Sorcerer on your side.”

You groaned and slid down your chair, covering your face in equal parts shame and annoyance - only for Solomon, of course. Simeon, however, deserves the whole world.

“Little lamb, I think you should head over to the House of Lamentation early,” Simeon advised. You met his sympathetic gaze and felt a wave of relief wash over you. Truly, he was an angel.

“Can I really do that?”

“I’ll walk you over to the nurse’s office if you’re scared,” Solomon cooed. His lips brushed against the shell of your left ear and his fingers strummed along the small of your back.

“F-Fuck,” you whisper screamed and clutched your body, as if you were holding yourself down from the oncoming shockwaves his mere actions brought upon you.

———♦︎———♦︎———♦︎———

You found yourself in the common room, back at the House of Lamentation. You sat down on the rightmost part of a loveseat, welcoming the warmth of the fireplace and the sound of wood snapping and cracking against the fire. Fucking Solomon. That sneaky rat bastard. Who gave him the audacity to act like Hugh Hefner, when at best, motherfucker was Voldemort.

It was a wonder how you got here safely, really. Considering that you weren’t the best at keeping yourself composed when you were under pressure. Maybe you were born with it? Maybe it’s Maybelline.

Ding! Your DDD vibrated against your back pocket. Shame coursed through you as heat pooled in between your legs. Even from that? Really? To think you were acting more like a crusty, musty, virgin than Levi.

Who was it that texted you this time? Your face fell as you read the banner on your DDD.

Solomon.

Great, you wonder what he has planned for you this time. Taking a deep breath, you click on the notification.

———♦︎———♦︎———♦︎———

Solomon: This is so funny. Guess what kind of curse you’re under.

MC: ...MF. Get on with it!!!

Solomon: It’s a fucking curse of temptation, charged with eros.

MC: ...

Solomon: ...

MC: Say sike rn. Please. I’m begging you.

Solomon: Then beg.

MC: ...

Solomon: LMAO

MC: You can break it right?! It’s just a fucking horny curse. It doesn’t seem that complicated

Solomon: Stupid hoe. Did you not pay attention to Unit 1 of Incantations?

MC: TF?? Who do you take me for? That was like the first week I was abducted. Ofc I was tryna convince myself I was just high or something or like I was in a weird ass dream

Solomon: ...Well, the simpler and more direct a curse is, the harder it is to break. Obviously, complicated curses are more susceptible to flaws and mistakes. And it’s just your luck because the curse Tituba placed you under is lined with malicious intent.

Solomon: Didn’t you say she only spoke a single sentence when she cast her spell on you?

MC: Oh fuck.

Solomon: LOL! Literally. I could break it in a day or two if it was any other witch. But this is Tituba we’re talking about.

MC: Her breed? Different >:)

Solomon: ...

MC: Ok! I’m sorry. Please, go on oh great and powerful one.

Solomon: Hold on, I’ve only just figured out what type of curse you’re under. Give me a few hours and I’ll head over there and explain it to you once I’ve solved it.

MC: MAKE IT QUICK. IF THE BROTHERS FIND OUT, I’M GOING TO PASS AWAY FROM EMBARRASSMENT

Solomon: dO YOU WANT ME TO SOLVE IT OR NOT?

MC: I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please, take your time oh, Solomon the Wise. But come quick! Please

———♦︎———♦︎———♦︎———

“LOL! You’ll never guess what happens in chapter 22 of Being An Old Man, I Thought It Was Too Late For Me To Have Kids With My Wife Sarah But God Blessed Me A Son!”

“You wouldn’t dare! I haven’t reached that part yet! You wouldn’t use such dirty tactics to distract me.”

“Abraham has to sacrifice his-“

“NOOO!”

“Levi, MC, please,” Satan sighed and lowered his book, meeting your sheepish grin and Levi's scoff with an unamused stare.

The common room was full of life. Satan sat right across from you, engrossed in another one of his nerdy books and Asmo sat beside him, humming a tune as he painted his nails - for like, the third time this week. Mammon sat right next to him, fixed on his DDD. You could barely make out the layout of the akuzon app. Stupid mammon, he’s already on another online shopping spree despite having more frozen bank accounts that even Lucifer himself could count.

Speaking of Lucifer, you turn your gaze to him as he sat on the armchair, smack down in the middle of the two loveseats right across from each other. He just came back from another meeting with Diavolo and was sorting through his papers.

What in the name of Christopher Gray... how could one man look that stunning after being holed up in a meeting for five hours. Your dumb ass would step out of the meeting looking like you haven’t washed your hair in years.

Beel sat to the left of Levi. He chewed on a stick of bat jerky and was watching some video on his DDD - probably about working out or food - and Belphie laid by himself, curled up right in front of the fireplace with his head resting on his cow pillow, knocked out cold. Or well, knocked out warm.

It was almost strange how calm the ambiance was. You felt a spike of anxiety churn at your stomach. Why do you feel like something bad is going to happen?

“Hey, pay attention normie! I’m about to beat your high score in subway swimmers!” Levi stick his tongue out in concentration, deft fingers swiping away at obstacles and collecting grimm as he ran away from the kraken security guardian.

“Oh no! NOOO!” You clutch your DDD, just in time to watch your character collide with a bed of coral. Your face fell at the words displayed on the screen. ‘Save me!’

“No, I ran out of keys,” you groan and threw your DDD at Levi, crossing your arms.

“The only reason you’ve been able to keep up with me all this time is because of all the money you’ve spent on keys, MC!”

“Hey!” You scoff, “you’re making me feel like Mammon!”

“Oi! I don’t spend that much money!”

Without missing a beat, Satan quips back, “Only because Lucifer confiscated Goldie from you - again.”

Beel nodded his head. He took the last bite of his bat jerky and hummed in agreement.

Ding! Dong!

Lucifer raises an eyebrow, “Who’s at the door?”

Shit. You forgot how the brothers don’t exactly hold Solomon in the highest regards.

Nervously laughing, you answered him, “Ah, that would be Solomon.”

Feeling his scrutinizing gaze, you look up and lock eye contact with Lucifer. His eyes narrowed and you feel yourself growing hot under his gaze. Not that he was turning you on, no. You never liked this kind of attention on you. I mean, who’d openly like to get gawked at?

As if answering your question, Asmodeus gives you a playful smile. “Oh? Solomon? I didn’t know you two were close.”

“Uhh, well, it’s-“

“Oh! Solomon! I’ll get the door!” Levi snapped out of his trance and pressed pause on his game. Thank goodness Levi and Solomon bonded over TSL. You couldn’t imagine any other brothers welcoming him inside if it weren’t for his connection to Levi.

Belphie began to stir from the commotion. He brought himself up to a sitting position, rubbing his eyes. “What’s going on?” He yawned.

“MC.”

You turned your attention to Lucifer who looks more daddy than ever. His arms were crossed and his eyebrows were pressed together in disapproval. His frown was only the cherry on the top. “Would you care to explain why you invited Solomon over?”

Fuck. Please stop being such an alpha male for once. Images of his physique towering over yours flooded your mind. His hands would pin yours right above your head, rendering your arms useless, and his strong legs would encase you in a cage like hold. Then, him being Lucifer, would say something clever and sensual at the same time, and you'd melt under his gaze.

Wait. UGH! Snap out of it!

You opened your mouth to respond to him when Solomon beats you to it.

“I’ve figured out the exact curse MC has been afflicted with,” and with a smirk, “and how to relieve her of it.”

Shit. Oh shit. He really wants to watch the world burn, huh? You grimaced, bracing yourself for the onslaught of questions from the demon brothers.

Satan’s glare directed at Solomon disappears and is replaced with concern, “a curse?”

“No! It’s not fair! You’re supposed to be my Henry for all of eternity! You can't be cursed!”

“Hey MC! Just what kinda things have ya been up to? I’m s’posed to be protecting you, ya hear?”

“Poor MC! She looks so stressed! That's sooo not good for your skin!”

“Can’t she just sleep it off?”

“MC,” Beel frowned and you returned his concerned expression with a small smile.

Lucifer slammed his hands on the coffee table, it was like thunder just went off inside of the house. “Enough!” His brows were bunched together in a glare and his arms were crossed. “Solomon, would you care to explain the kind of curse MC is under and who the identity of the caster is?”

Your jaw fell slack and you gave Solomon your best ‘please no’ stare you could muster. Your hands were collected in front of you like a prayer.

Solomon only smiled and a chill ran up your spine. That’s not how a smile is supposed to look. No, a real smile would be if your eyes shrank, forming half crescent moons, with wrinkles in the corners. No way. Was he really…?

“If you don’t mind, Lucifer, I’d like to get MC’s approval before continuing.”

Confusion. Yeah, that’s the best way to describe how the brothers reacted. Complete and utter confusion.

———♦︎———♦︎———♦︎———

She signed defeatedly, “fine. Do your worst.”

Is that idiot really going to tempt me into unleashing as much chaos as I could possibly muster? Which is… a lot. I mean, I am known as The Great Sorcerer.

Though, she looks so tempting when she’s so defeated - so small and weak, pathetic, even - it only brings me more amusement. Now, I wonder what route I’m going to choose this time. Should I play as the devious sorcerer? The kindhearted and forgiving human friend of MC? Who am I kidding? Both! Yeah, that wasn’t even a question. I almost laughed out loud. Man, I really am a genius.

I cleared my throat, unwavering as I felt the collective gaze of the demon brothers fall upon my being. And a lustier one from emanating from Asmodeus. No surprise there.

Choose your words carefully, Solomon. You gotta be on her side.

“MC has been afflicted with a curse of temptation, charged with eros, by Tituba the witch. It’ll continue to affect her over the course of seven days, subjugating her to extreme heat that will boil her from the inside out lest she finds relief. She has until the clock strikes midnight on the seventh day.”

Perfect.

A furious blush cascaded over Mammon’s features. He was the first to break the silence. “O-Oi! You’re kidding right?”

“Wah!” Asmo crooned. He gave MC a half-lidded smile. “My my! Now isn’t this a wonderful turn of events~!”

Satan elbowed Asmo on his side. “That’s enough with the teasing, Asmo,” he lectured.

“Oh, don’t give me that, Satan, those bright red cheeks of yours aren't fooling anyone.”

“A-Asmo!”

“Whoa! This is just like the anime I’ve been watching! I Attempted To Manipulate A Great And Powerful Witch And Now I’ve Been Cursed And The Only Way I Can Break Out Of It Is For Me To Kiss The One I love!”

Beel gave Levi a frown, shaking his head at his antics despite the pink that dusted his features.

A glee of joy overcame me as I watched everything unfold. Lucifer looked as if his eyes were about to pop out of its sockets. He was torn between maintaining his stunned gaze onto me or onto MC, whose probably attempting to curl up into a ball at this point.

———♦︎———♦︎———♦︎———

Y’know what, I really am going to smack a bitch. And by that, I mean Solomon and how that sneaky bastard carefully chose his words to bring forth a reaction like… well, like this.

You were so engrossed by the chorus of reactions harmonizing with each other, and focused on morphing into a ball of shame, you almost forgot about Belphie. That was, until he placed his hand on your calf, coaxing you out of your ball. He gave you a kind and sympathetic gaze. His lips were set in a small frown, his eyebrows downcast.

It happened in only a few seconds. You were filled with equal parts horror and pleasure because he didn’t know that simple touches like this could affect you to such a degree. Couldn’t blame him though, he was the only brother that didn’t react in such an inappropriate way to your predicament. And he didn’t even seem amused by it at all.

You, however, well... His warm touch, placed on your calf only sent you into overdrive. “N-No! Don’t touch me!” The absolute lewdest, cry - followed by a moan - escaped your lips. Your body shivered and as if on cue, an overwhelmingly hot fire washed over you. A deep, unyielding fire. It fucking sent you, and the brothers.

“Ah,” Solomon laughed, “I may have forgot to mention that during this period, MC’s senses will be hightened tenfold. If not, possibly more. I figured that’s what the extreme heat stood for and this just proved me right.”

“F-Fuck,” you breathed. Shit, fucking get a grip, MC! You’re in the middle of the brothers and stinky Solomon who’s thriving off of your suffering. Scowling, you sent him a middle finger.

You caught yourself staring at Belphie. His eyes, which were filled with sympathy was now clouded over by something else. It darkened, and you saw his pupils blown wide, threatening to devour the bluish violet color that surrounded it.

“I’m sorry, Belphie, I should’ve told you before,” you murmur.

This was it though. This is the day you die. Cause of death? Embarrassment. Yeah, that’s right. Like a fucking sim dying because it peed in front of the other sims in the club, probably because you kept on cancelling their whim to use the restroom.

“I can help you find relief.”

Pause.

Your moth fell agape at Belphie’s suggestion. Did he really just suggest that? To you? Do you pretend to be Helen Keller? Do you become Jared, 19? There’s no way you could say yes, despite the temptations you’ve felt, longing for sexual touch. After all, your first kiss happened such a long time ago. And even then, you broke it off after a brief moment because you found yourself unwilling to make a fool of yourself. Ha! You, accepting Belphie’s proposal. What a long shot. You were definitely prepared to pass away before you could make an even bigger fool of yourself in front of the brothers and Solomon.

“B-Belphie! Hey! Get your hands off my human!”

Satan and Beel were at a loss for words. To your surprise, so was Lucifer. And Levi, you could only assume, is passed out next to you on the couch after hearing your cry of pleasure.

“Guys, uhh,” you scratched the back of your neck, “it’s okay. I’ll just accept my fate and boil over by the seventh day.”

Right! I saved them from the discomfort of being obliged to help me relieve myself. Plus, that was sorta awkward. I mean, if it happened to someone I didn’t harbor any feelings for, why should I have to help them get laid or something? This was only fair.

At your words, Lucifer was roused to take control of this discord. “Absolutely not. As the eldest and trusted advisor to Diavolo, it is my duty to-“

“Oh, come on Lucifer! Don’t give us that! Just admit you’d be more than willing to help our little MC out in her predicament,” teased Asmo.

You fidgeted in your seat. How were you going to explain to the brothers in a logical manner that you’d rather die than admit you’re an inexperienced virgin that could rival Levi himself?

Oh no. You were too late. Solomon caught on to your trepidation and released a dramatic gasp, “MC, don’t tell me,” he paused, for dramatic effect, “were you not kidding when you claimed to be pure? Are you actually a virgin?”

You smiled like the calm before the storm, the waves pulling back before the tsunami crashed. It was the way the earth stilled before the meteorite connected. “I’ll take that as my cue to pass away.”

You closed your eyes and pretended you were in a place, free from embarrassment. Ignoring the gasps and murmurs from Mammon and Satan (and Levi who woke up after passing out), the hums of approval from Asmo and Belphie, the way Solomon stifled back his laughter, and you couldn’t hear it but you were guessing Beel and Lucifer were completely speechless.

“MC, you can’t just close your eyes and pretend we aren’t here,” Satan coaxed, "we're not going to let you perish because of this curse."

You cock one eye open and nodded, ruminating over the different ways you could respond to his infuriatingly rational comment.  “I can try,” you maintained your smile and sat cross legged on the couch, meditating into the astral realm. That's where your soul was, of course, after you died from the embarrassment.

“Oh honey,” cooed Asmo, “we only want what's best for you. Plus, I could practically taste the desire oozing out of you.”

“Asmo!”

———♦︎———♦︎———♦︎———

This was going to be a long night. Solomon bid farewell to the brothers after chatting with Lucifer, discussing the curse as in depth as he could without revealing the little snippet of information he decided to keep for himself. The rest of the brothers went back and forth with MC, trying to convince her to think over her choice and the severity of the curse but with a pride that could rival Lucifer’s, she rejected it with a shake of her head and kept her arms crossed. It took her a while before it dawned on her -  the brothers would not yield until she gave them a satisfactory answer. Defeated, she told them that she would consider it.

It was getting late.

The brothers returned to their rooms and MC followed not long afterwards. The House of Lamentation was filled with a different tension tonight, one unlike any other.

[thefandomlesbian]

you asked for prompts, so ive got two i guess, if you'd like - hotchreid, with insecure/jealous hotch and/or domestic jemily fluff

Okay, I’ll admit I... kinda missed the mark on this one, but I did try! D: 

Read it here on AO3! 

...

“All hearts float in their own deep oceans of no light, wetblack and glimmering, their four mouths gulping like fish. Hearts are said to pound: this is to be expected, the heart’s regular struggle against being drowned.” -Margaret Atwood

…

The first time Spencer says it, they're eating dinner together. Chicken mango pilaf over brown rice with chopped vegetables. Aaron is drinking apple juice. Spencer, who laughed at him for drinking apple juice, is drinking water. Aaron remembers these preceding moments with exact clarity, the brief silence that filled the room except for their forks scraping their plates, until...

"I think I'd like for you to choke me."

Aaron, ironically, chokes fairly immediately after this statement. He coughs a chunk of chicken, or is it mango? back into his plate and has inhaled some of the sauce that's now scalding the back of his throat, and he hacks, wondering if rice is going to come out of his nose, which is now streaming, and certainly because he started choking as Spencer spoke, he must've misheard. "You want me to what?" Poke me, toke me, broke me, woke me —

"Choke me."

The pit of Aaron's stomach flips in distress. The fork abruptly begins to tremble in his hand. "I—what?" He puts down the fork quickly to keep from dropping it and disguises his trembling hands by wiping around his mouth with his napkin. "I—Why? What? Who? Where?" He finds it impossible to form a coherent question, so he hopes Spencer will understand something from the noises he just produced and answer it.

Spencer's brows furrow. "You don't look too keen on the idea." Aaron makes another odd sound, something like clearing his throat passed off from choking on his food, and he's grimacing. "I dunno. JJ says she does it with Emily sometimes and it's fun. You know, during sex."

Aaron's whole body tightens up. "Yeah, I got that part." His face and knuckles blanche white. Even his lips lose color.

"I didn't know. You look kind of like I asked you cut my body up and pickle me into jars—"

"JJ told you to do this?"

"Yeah, JJ and Emily—"

"Stop, stop, I don't want to know." Aaron isn't sure of where this all came from, but with those clues, he is very sure he doesn't want to find out. "No."

Spencer frowns, not in an objectionable way, but in a thoughtful way. Clearly this conversation poked a whole bunch of needles into Aaron like bad acupuncture and then rolled him over on that side without taking the needles out. "Could we... Talk about it? You look pretty upset."

"No," Aaron says again. He tries to pick up his fork, but he fumbles with it and is unable to keep a grip on it. He's lost his appetite, anyway. He takes his plate to the kitchen, washes it off, and goes to shower with the door closed, like always—usually so Spencer won't see his upper body, but tonight so Spencer won't see the steam pour out of the room as he turns the water up all the way and scrubs himself until his skin is pink and raw.

Hours later, they're lying together in bed. Spencer drowses in a post-coital haze, his head on Aaron's clothed chest—besides Aaron's shirt, they're both naked. Aaron reads a book, or pretends to, but he hasn't turned a page in three and a half minutes, and Aaron usually reads about two hundred fifty words a minute, which means he's a minute and a half late to turn this page—

"Are you afraid of me?"

"Hm...?" Spencer blinks a few times to shake himself from his sleepy reverie. "What?"

"Do you—Do you think I would ever hurt you?"

"No, of course not. I would never think that." Aaron licks his lips and dog-ears the page (Spencer winces at this but doesn't remark on it) and puts the book to the side. "Are you okay?" Aaron was even more tender than usual tonight, and while ultimately it was for Spencer's benefit, he's concerned about its origins. Aaron has made it pretty clear he doesn't want to talk about the conversation earlier, but Spencer wonders how, exactly, a simple question got him so bent out of shape.

"Do you trust me?" Aaron presses.

"Yeah, of course. You licked my anus, like, ten minutes ago. I trust you not to give us E coli , which is the highest of compliments." Spencer tries to restore some levity to the conversation, since it's clear Aaron won't say what's actually bothering him, and Spencer doesn't particularly like to hold these long conversations completely in the dark.

His attempt doesn't assuage Aaron. "And you trust me not to hurt you? Or put my hands on you, ever?"

Spencer rolls over in his arms to look Aaron in the eyes. "Aaron," he says gently, "I trust you never to let any harm come to me, ever. That's why I asked you to do that." Aaron looks stricken. "You could put your hands on my throat, and I would be the safest man on this wide green earth. Do you think I would ever give that to someone else?" Aaron always knows what's best for him, is always gentle, always sensitive to his needs—he doesn't know where this anxiety came from, but it's not founded in the reality of the Aaron he knows. "You don't have to defend yourself. You don't want to do it. End of conversation." Spencer rubs soothing circles on Aaron's chest.

"I don't want you to think I would ever let anything hurt you."

"I don't think that."

"Even me."

"I don't think that, either." Spencer kisses him. "It's okay. I know better than to try to take sex advice from a couple that involves Emily. She's, like, the opposite of you."

Aaron's interest is piqued. "In what way?" Spencer opens his mouth. "No, wait, never mind, I don't—I don't want to know."

That night, Spencer rests easily, but Aaron squeezes him so tightly around the middle that he has to wiggle more than once to breathe, and very late, long after Aaron thinks he has fallen asleep, he feels Aaron cry silently, face buried between Spencer's shoulder blades.

The next evening, Spencer brews some stew on the stove using the very precise instructions Aaron laid out for him. So far, nothing is on fire, nothing has been blackened into coal, and nothing is melting, so Spencer is achieving expectations. The front door unlocks, and he turns to watch Aaron enter, carrying a boat load of groceries. "Hey, soup's brewing."

"It's stew," Aaron corrects as Spencer takes his bags.

"Yeah, whatever. It's not on fire, is my point."

"I've never been so proud," Aaron deadpans. Spencer kisses his cheek and rolls his eyes and goes to help Aaron put things away in the kitchen. "And, um, I got something—something for you." Aaron's cheeks flush unexpectedly, and Spencer raises his eyebrows in great interest as Aaron holds out a bag to him. "I, uh, I talked to Garcia, and she had some… suggestions."

Spencer wants to ask what kind of suggestions, but inside the bag, he finds a headband with pink cat ears, a pink lacy bralette, and a pink collar with a jingly bell and a small tag—the tag engraved: Spencer .

It's mortifying. It's sweet. It's the most adventurous thing Aaron has ever done (granted, the bar was low). Spencer kisses him hard. "Oh, I love it!"

"Oh, good, I thought maybe Garcia was way off base, but after yesterday, I was afraid to talk to JJ, I don't think I can look either of them in the eye ever again—"

"We could add to the tag property of Aaron Hotchner —"

Aaron shoots him a mild-tempered look. "Don't push your luck."

Spencer fidgets with the bell on the collar. "Say, uh, Garcia didn't say anything to you about, uh... cowboys, did she?"

Aaron frowns. "No, she didn't."

"Or horses, or... Assless chaps?"

"No... No. Should she have?"

"Nope!" Spencer says all too quickly. "Nope, she shouldn't have."

[freewheelshippin]

FIC: “What Do I Call You?”

There was something so honest about how she hyped the crowd, leaned so forward she seemed like she might leap into a crowdwalk, pointing at her ear until the whole crowd bellowed in their own guttoral harmony. And she smiled so much at her crewmates -- Ranmaru realized he was smiling, too, while she played guitar and accompanied the others’ solos, only breaking from her deep sway with the music to look at them with brightness and joy in her eyes. 

In those moments, Ranmaru understood something he hadn’t before, but it also made him realize that the hunger in him wasn’t being sated so much as it was deepening. 

So! I had some fun writing for the roleswap AU, where I’m the punk rock idol and Ranmaru’s the freelance artist getting some juice from all the love and music.

Not much by ways of content warnings -- lots of eating, a fair amount of alcohol, too, and you know, we utter the word ‘fuck’ a few times.  

Ranmaru swore as he dropped the case on his toe. He could tell immediately that this was one of those jammed toes that would hurt for days from the bruising, especially when he still had half of the city to cross before he could get back home. And what was home? His shithole apartment and limping around while he went on his rounds for the local cats? 

At least the train was empty enough he could sit alone, even comfortably with all his equipment. He was still cross that the live house didn’t have it themselves. Weren’t they professionals? Stupid. The show had sucked, too, with the band spending more time fucking around then putting on the damn show they were paid for, that their fans came out to see, that Ranmaru had put such care into getting the tech just right to enhance. And that one jackass trying to throw hands with anyone in the crowd. Nobody on staff did a fucking thing to kick him out until Ranmaru dragged him out himself, and now he had a black eye and the stink of shitty beer and stale cigarette smoke hanging on him to show for it.

Thirty minutes ‘til his stop. He could listen to some music to smooth over this shitty...everything. He slipped his headphones on, ready to mute the rest of the world and stop anyone from entering his. 

Reiji (12:42 AM) : Iiiiiiiiiit’s dropped!!!!!

What, your balls, Ranmaru thought ruefully to himself, unconsciously clicking his tongue in annoyance. He moved his finger to swipe and mute him for … a week, maybe, from how shitty he was feeling right now, but Reiji was too fast. The link appeared, and Ranmaru hit it, if only to have something concrete to be annoyed with him for. 

It was a preview for a new PV. That’s right. It was technically tomorrow already, the day this content was due, but this was still early. Reiji must have found a leak. Lucky he was such an otaku, Ranmaru never had to go hunting for sketchy files or talk with weirdos he knew he wouldn’t be able to level with outside of the crowd. There was a long windup before the music even started playing, the visuals building dramatic lighting and obscuring anything but their silhouettes, but there was the low fuzz of an amp before it all hit at once. 

Ranmaru didn’t want to admit that his eyes darted right to that flash of turquoise as the lights came up in the PV, because it would mean that he might’ve smiled at just the sight of her. No, it had to be the sound. That clean, driving guitar, that strong bass, it felt like Deep Purple and Iron Maiden, but pushed to be danceable and idol-friendly with synth and a digital drumkit beat Ranmaru could vaguely recognize parts of.  

His toe and face didn’t stop hurting and body didn’t stop aching, but he stopped feeling so mad about it for the minute he watched and listened. There was professional polish there he’d missed seeing at the shitshow that was tonight’s gig, but there was still that rawness there of a good, irreplaceable concert. Something less precise than other idol groups’ practiced, saccharine perfection, but Ranmaru found it more welcoming than any other group he’d seen or worked with. 

The camera cut to a focus shot. Her hair was as bright as ever, styled like she were one of those princely girls from anime, just somehow made real, and she turned to look right at him-- 

Reiji (12:44 AM) : Ranran~~ how are you liking your girlfriend in this one :3c 

Ranmaru actually growled a little. He only realized he had been smiling because of how intensely he frowned at that bastard, barging into his texts --  

Ranmaru (12:44 AM): shut the fuck up and let me watch it. don’t call her that   

Reiji (12:44 AM): Isn’t she doing all the things you like??? 

Reiji (12:45 AM): So handsome! So rock! So passionate!

Reiji (12:45 AM): Feels tailor made for you ;o 

Ranmaru (12:45 AM): I told you to shut the fuck up. go text natsuki if you have to annoy someone

Reiji (12:46 AM): Aww Ranran did the show go bad? :(

Reiji (12:46 AM): But I already did, you know! And I’ve already gotten twice as many sparkly sticker replies than texts you’ve sent me in the past week!!! 

(He had to admit he laughed a little at that. Reiji was probably getting another onslaught as he was typing, his own push notifications as clogged as he was making Ranmaru’s.) 

Ranmaru (12:47 AM): I’m muting notifs since you won’t learn how to fucking shut up 

Reiji (12:47 AM): ohhhh she’s getting ranran’s full attention~! You must really like this preview, huh? I guess it’s true love 

Ranmaru (12:48 AM): WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY   

Reiji (12:48 AM): You’re right, I should, I should be listening for wedding bells! 

Ranmaru (12:48 AM): go make out with your gacha girlfriend body pillow and leave me alone 

Ranmaru (12:49 AM): hypocrite 

He finally muted all his notifications. An hour should be enough to ride it out, he thought as he settled a little into the hard plastic of the seat, restarting the video. The anger from the past couple hours melted away as he watched, uninterrupted, and replayed it with eyes closed as the sound flowed in through his headphones and released the tension in his body bit by bit. 

--- 

The hour ran out when Ranmaru was squatting over an especially runty kitten, eating noisily while the others watched from a couple feet away. Why stray cats could understand him better than anyone else when he said to piss off, he’d never know. He swiped around to turn his notifications back off for the rest of the night before pocketing his phone again. 

“...Oi. Slow down.” He pulled the plate of food away from the kitten. It shook with hiccups as it watched carefully, almost fearfully, before it pounced back onto the food, gobbling it down like it was going to be its last meal. Ranmaru sighed but couldn’t blame the little thing. He dumped out the last of the food, gave the rest of the cats one last look as he stood up to walk away, and he heard the frenzied scratch of their claws against the pavement as they swarmed the plates of food. 

 Maybe it wasn’t so much they understood him as he understood them. To hunger like that, both literally and for something less physical but just as carnal.  

He plugged his headphones back in, listening to the leaked preview a few more times on his way back to the apartment. 

--

He liked this group to begin with mostly because of her. She dressed, talked, and acted more like someone from a band than an idol, and something about that felt weirdly familiar and good. The rest of the group were more unique than a lot of other idols -- you’d expect that from a unit made up of a pack of ragtag international recruits, sure, but it was refreshing how they’d made everything about their presence wholly their own. 

Hers just made the most sense to him. The brashness, the way she talked about music, the way she performed, it all felt like someone who was chasing and understood the same things he did. She even said her music was about giving people power in an interview Reiji’d dug up for him. 

“Beyond language, or the way words reach people,” she’d said in decent but definitely non-native Japanese; she’d grown up some in Okinawa while her family lived on the military base, but mostly shuttled between America and Bangkok before getting recruited by chance here. “I want to give everyone a home that makes them feel strong through my music.” 

He wondered, dimly, as he took a hot shower and stared down at his swollen red toe, if he felt drawn to the group because he wanted that for himself, or because it reminded him why he kept picking up jobs that made him as angry as tonight’s did. 

He went to bed that night with an ice pack balanced on his swollen eye, the frustration more or less passed as he listened to the classic bands that new song reminded him of. 

--- 

He woke up to his phone buzzing, the hold on push notifications finally expired, and he murmured in bewilderment at just how many there were. Not just from Reiji, but Natsuki, too. 

Rather than try and parse whatever the hell happened while he was asleep, Ranmaru just went into the group chat well after he’d gotten himself breakfast. 

Ranmaru (9:28 AM): what the hell happened last night that you had to blow up my phone 

Natsuki (9:30 AM): Maru-chan-senpai! Ah! You’re alive!!!! 

Ranmaru (9:31 AM): I just went to bed is all 

(“Why the hell are you calling me ‘senpai’?” Ranmaru had asked him, and Natsuki had looked at him with those big dopey eyes and earnestly said since he’d been a fan longer, he was naturally Natsuki’s senpai, and any protest Ranmaru made never stuck.) 

Reiji supplied a link without any fanfare, introduction, or goofy dramatics, which almost startled Ranmaru. 

Notice (posted by Ootori Eiichi x/xx/xx): 

We are currently seeking an emergency replacement sound/stage technician for performances at the following dates and locations. Inquire immediately. [PAID] 

Ranmaru stared at the listing, barely processing the lurch in his stomach that came from just reading it. It was for them. That act. The debut mini-tour for that new single. It’d take rearranging his sound editing queue and massaging some deadlines, but he could feasibly make all of those dates and times.

He thought for a moment of doing that sound check, and seeing for himself the electric energy of that live. Of working with that group whose respect for their audience he personally felt, of watching her prepare, having to talk directly to her as she tuned her guitar....

There was the very real possibility that it’d prove everything he believed about them - about her, really, that ethos he was drawn to - was just smoke and mirrors, too. 

Natsuki (9:35 AM): Can you do it, Maru-chan-senpai? 

Reiji (9:36 AM): Ranran, you have to do it. 

Ranmaru (9:36 AM): this is just a listing, just because I ask doesn’t mean it’ll go through 

There was a long pause, where everyone went on and off typing, never actually saying anything, and he frowned. 

Ranmaru (9:40 AM): can you all just fucking say what you’re thinking already 

Natsuki (9:42 AM): You really love their magic and energy, I just wanted to say I hope you do it and get it because your heart wants it! 

Reiji (9:45 AM): Yes, Nacchan, you said it! Ranran, I’ll give you all the free bento you need to keep your tummy full to go do this! 

Ranmaru (9:45 AM): don’t fucking do that, reiji, you’ll just piss of your sister. I’ll buy them myself

Ranmaru (9:45 AM): assuming I even do this 

Reiji (9:46 AM): I really think you should. 

Reiji (9:46 AM): Not because we want the insider scoop. But because when’s the last time you had fun at a live you worked? 

Ranmaru could curse Reiji where he stood. Whenever he stopped fucking around and got to his point, it was always a good one. 

---

He got the job, somehow, after a little emailing back-and-forth and negotiating the contract. Now he was on a train to Yokohama for the first gig, his case packed full, his backpack stuffed with supplies for a week. Comping travel, hotel, and meals was enough to take the job, even if it paid like ass, but it didn’t. The contract was actually pretty decent. They -- or, well, at least that Ootori guy -- were upfront that he’d be worked hard, the hours were going to be long, and there wasn’t going to be much room for rest or leisure. But the pay was good. Enough that if he had a dryspell of jobs afterwards, he’d be okay for longer than usual. 

It was worth it for other reasons, though, he thought to himself, stuffing spare merch he’d gotten in blindbags (and a couple other last-minute buys he didn’t tell the others about) into a bottom corner of his suitcase. None of it was of her, none of it for him. Something felt unprofessional spending this job acting like a fan, but at least there wasn’t any harm grabbing some signatures for friends who never made it to meet-and-greets. 

The single was out properly, now, and so was the PV. There was a section of it he especially liked and had gotten into the habit of watching on train rides, where she broke out of the dance routine to put her arms around her teammates, grin a dumb grin, and kick her legs high. It cut to a different shot of the group in different costumes but perfect sync, and when it cut back to that first shot, she stumbled and fell right on her ass, dragging the others down with her. Still grinning stupidly, and singing through it all. 

She didn’t take many vocal solos. She only had one line in this song to herself, and she was singing with the whole group for this shot. He read in an interview she wasn’t happy with the tone quality of her voice yet -- it needed to be richer, and she still needed plenty of training before it reached what her teammates and audience deserved. 

Ranmaru told himself, as the train was minutes away from the station, that this had to be the last time he watched this video and listened to the song like this. At least for the duration of this job. Every time he watched that shot, as she kept singing and the rest of the group tumbled down with her with the same dumb grin she wore, he knew in his gut the voice she sang in must’ve sounded like the soul of rock. Even if that gesture were directed and performed, there was still something genuine there that reminded him of those moments at concerts that convinced him to walk the path he did. 

Maybe he’d get to see it live. Maybe he wouldn’t. But he had to stop imagining it. She - this whole group, rather - was about to become real, and whether or not everything he imagined would turn out to just be something he made up to deal with his shit, he had a job to do. 

------------------------------------

He had a chance to leave his clothes and belongings in the hotel before heading to the live house. Ranmaru was unsure why this Ootori guy had picked him. He didn’t have an exactly long resume with idol shows, but then again, this was a group that debuted without any typical idol sound. There wasn’t any gimmick to them (Ranmaru wouldn’t call being made up of foreigners much of a gimmick when it came to the music), and they weren’t afraid of reaching into all sorts of genres he more typically worked with. 

Right as he got to the live house, his phone rumbled with back-to-back notifications. 

Reiji (5:48 PM): Ranran~!!! Ganbarimachochho from us! 

Ranmaru wouldn’t deign the attached selfie with a response right now (he was about to work, after all), but he felt himself suppressing a smile. Reiji was sticking his tongue out and making a victory sign, Natsuki further in the background, half-buried in stuffed animals and doing the same. They were going to be streaming the event for special-tier fanclub members like REIJI, which Ranmaru had always harangued him for. If he was a fan, wasn’t it enough to just cheer their hearts out live, enjoy their music, buy a CD and shirt, and feel the energy they had to give that way? 

(He still pored over the behind-the-scenes and advance material Reiji forwarded to him and Natsuki regardless. Sometimes he translated the English from their social media accounts, even. It was satisfying, as stupid as it felt sometimes, to do those little things in between the real shows.) 

He’d never been to the live house before, but it had the same vibes as so many others he’d been to. He found the back entrance effortlessly, where a man with glasses almost took him by surprise. 

“Kurosaki?” he asked. His gaze felt just as intense as all the other communication they’d had over e-mail. 

“Ootori,” he grunted back. 

“You’re early,” Eiichi replied, grinning at Ranmaru. Not that it surprised him in the slightest, but it made him look less approachable and instead even more intense. “Good. I like that in a recruit.” 

Ranmaru gritted his teeth quietly. This guy was going to be an absolute bastard, he could feel it, but at least he seemed like he knew how to run a show. “Don’t say that like I joined your agency. Tell me where the group’s at with setup, and I’ll get started.” 

 Eiichi’s eyes glinted from behind his glasses. He looked too satisfied with himself for Ranmaru’s taste. “I liked how you didn’t beat around the bush when you reached out for the job, and it’s good to see you hold to it. They’re rehearsing in the space, but we still have equipment to unload and cues to sync. You read the notes I sent you, I trust.” 

“All forty fuckin’ pages of it.” Ranmaru left out that he’d actually found it pretty impressive, appreciating the thoroughness and ambition of the show for a smaller group and venue. “Are we going to stand around shooting the shit or are we going to get started working on them?” 

Eiichi laughed at that. Ranmaru wasn’t sure if it pissed him off or made him feel eager to get to work. 

“This way,” he said, showing him to a van stuffed full of equipment. 

------ 

Ranmaru went straight to the live house staff to start doing his work. The master controls were kept in a little room that overlooked the stage. His gut flipped when he first saw them all, rehearsing some specific-looking choreography that needed to adjust to a new stage.  He wasn’t about to let that interrupt work. This was just like any other job, except he liked the performers a whole lot more, and things progressed like any other job. Until she looked dead at him from the stage, calling out. 

“Heeeeey,” she said. “Scuse me, are you the new tech guy?” 

“Yeah.” Ranmaru forced the feeling rising in his throat back down (as much as he could with sheer willpower, anyway). “Whaddya want?” 

“I just wanted to ask your name! We gotta call you something!” 

“Ranmaru,” he answered, hoping dearly that whatever he felt burning on his face was hidden by the dim lighting. 

“Cool, OK. Ranmaru-san,” she continued cheerfully. Ranmaru felt his chest tighten as he heard his name on her lips. “Are we queued up enough that we can do this number with music?” 

“This is the one for the new single, right,” he called back. He took a look at the levels, gain, and so forth as they were and instinctively nudged the knobs where the countless plays of that new song told him to. He’d imagined the vision of its stage presence for weeks. “I’m gonna test out some different settings for the levels ‘n stuff while you do that.” 

She made an expression of surprise as it came on. Delight, even, as she rode out into the following beats. Ranmaru couldn’t help crooking into his own smile, satisfied his know-how just helped that vision become a little bit brighter. She flashed him a thumbs up, then a gesture to pause, still grinning. 

“Can we take it from the top? Five, six, seven, eight---” 

-------- 

Ranmaru had never felt this sort of contradiction. She was restringing her acoustic guitar, from steel to nylon strings, as she hummed and practiced segments of songs, and Ranmaru was adjusting amplifiers and other equipment on the stage nearby. His head swam with the thought and excitement they were sharing the same stage, even just as a tech and pre-show performer, but approaching her felt like being both sides of a magnet at once. 

But that push and pull gave way, eventually, as the guitar finished being re-strung and tuned, and the humming turned into full-on singing. Ranmaru fought desperately to make sure he wasn’t just confirming what he’d already imagined, to just appreciate her live voice on its own merits and flaws. But he could feel in his chest that that character, that quality he’d responded so much to was there, that even with some lacking technical skill, there was still a rich tone color you could only get with passion and the spirit for rock. 

“You doing any solos tonight?” he asked in English. 

“Hm?” She looked caught by surprise. 

Ranmaru answered, already anticipating the question. “I’m half-American. I speak it fluently enough.” 

“Well, shit,” she said with a grin. “That’s convenient for us. I mean, I don’t mind Japanese if it’s easier…” 

“‘Sfine. Do what you want. I won’t complain about the practice, though.” 

She chuckled. “Man, maybe losing our usual guy from the agency was a stroke of good luck.” 

Ranmaru laughed challengingly. “Say that after the show goes well. And you still haven’t answered my question.” 

“Oh, uh. Right. Not really? Why do you ask?” 

“Why not?” 

She took a moment and laughed brightly in reply. Ranmaru could practically hear the insecurity she was covering up. 

“‘Cuz we’re an idol group.” 

Ranmaru gestured and murmured in vague acknowledgement. “You still have less solo lines than everyone else.” 

“Oh, do I,” she replied flatly, going back to her guitar, trimming overhanging strings. “I guess you would know, now that you’ve gotta manage all our sound.” 

“I just think it’s stupid you’ve clearly got your own voice but can’t think of sharing it without hiding behind everyone else’s.” 

She looked up at him incredulously. “Ranmaru-san, right?” 

“...Just call me Ranmaru.” 

“Alright, Ranmaru.” She looked at him again. Somehow when she looked at him dead-on this time, nothing went to mush inside of him. “Don’t fucking talk to me like our group voice isn’t the backbone of everything we’re trying to do.” 

“Nothing’s wrong with your group voice,” he shot back, getting heated. “It’s good. I can feel the soul behind it all, even when you’re rehearsing.” 

“So why are you fucking complaining?” She was still smiling, laying cheer and energy over her growing frustration. “Is there something you wanna say to me about my crew’s voices?” 

“They’re fine!” he barked back, frustrated she wasn’t getting his point. “This isn’t about them! You have something your audience is gonna be lit on fire hearing more of, that’s all!”  

Some eyes were starting to fall on them, but Ranmaru could barely notice them over the way her chest rose sharply and her expression became inscrutible. 

“...how about,” she said, speaking slowly as she deliberately, diplomatically pulled out her words, switching back to Japanese. “You save any notes you have for after the show.” 

“......Sure.” His stomach flipped again, more intensely and more painfully than the last few times. He went back to fussing with the amp, and she laid the pliers she’d trimmed her strings with on it before heading backstage until the show started. 

--- 

The show was electric. Ranmaru couldn’t say he was the right audience for most idol groups -- not so much out of distaste as much as incompatibility, he guessed. The way Reiji and Natsuki would lose their minds over their favorites’ cheerful cuteness or the kindness in their voices, Ranmaru wouldn’t. The fanatical, cult-of-personality devotion some other idols could curate with otaku-types, he didn’t connect with, either. What spoke to him was passion, backed by steely sounds and the sweat behind them; the excitement and fervor of rock and a crowd stinking of sweat; how well you could make someone scream themselves hoarse for that one, shining moment without any care for how sore they’d feel the next morning. 

Maybe it was the adrenaline from earlier, but when he could look away from the tech, he felt that here, too. There was no drum or bass player onstage, but he could still feel the beat thrum through his chest and rumble through his bones until his breath quickened, like he were jumping and dancing with the crowd. There was joy in their teamwork. In how they shaped their bodies together in song and in voice, and pushing and pulling the spotlight until it was something brighter, something shared and tangible between them and the audience.

His eyes fell on her. What should he call her? She had a stage name in Thai, but she was open that wasn’t her given name or anything friends and family called her. “Aroon” was just something she picked so she could wear her heritage proudly. It meant ‘dawn,’ it sounded cooler, more idol-ish than her Western name, which wasn’t a secret, by any means, but he heard her called by so many versions of it, none felt real. 

It only felt so weird because seeing her onstage, he felt far beyond any confirmation bias he could’ve had that the person he’d seen in the PV’s was every bit as real as he’d hoped. He saw someone who didn’t just fit on stage, but relished and grew like a plant in the hot lights burning down on them. There was something so honest about how she hyped the crowd, leaned so forward she seemed like she might leap into a crowdwalk, pointing at her ear until the whole crowd bellowed in their own guttoral harmony. And she smiled so much at her crewmates -- Ranmaru realized he was smiling, too, while she played guitar and accompanied the others’ solos, only breaking from her deep sway with the music to look at them with brightness and joy in her eyes. 

In those moments, Ranmaru understood something he hadn’t before, but it also made him realize that the hunger in him wasn’t being sated so much as it was deepening. 

They got cheered back on for an encore. And towards the end of that last song, Ranmaru watched as she broke choreography to literally lift the one Natsuki was convinced was a fairy, spinning them around as the practiced moves dissolved into joyful chaos. The whole group ended the song arm in arm, sloppily holding mics for each other as they alternately laughed, belted, fumbled, and shouted thank-yous into the audience.

Ranmaru still felt something tug at him as the mic got held in front of her, she grabbed it, and handed it to someone else. Just sing, damn it, he thought to himself. It didn’t matter if it was perfect, it just mattered that it was hers. 

Didn’t she realize she deserved to be adored the same way she wanted the rest of her group to be? 

Ranmaru cut everything as they filtered offstage, staggering and softening the mics as they put them back and let them go. He took a deep, sighing breath in and out, almost like he’d been holding it for the entire concert, as his stomach growled. 

Maybe he should’ve taken some more of Reiji’s bento, after all, and give Natsuki’s cookies another try.  

-------- 

They closed up quickly. With the group no longer bound by rehearsal, takedown went faster than ever, and there wasn’t any meet-and-greet at today’s venue. Ranmaru dimly considered looking at the merch table, but he had a week to do that and had other things to finish with today’s closeup, anyway. 

He could hear the group discussing amongst themselves in English about where to go for a late dinner celebrating a good show.

“I want chicken,” she pleaded. “Is there one of those Taiwanese shops where you can get boba and chicken around here? You know, the kind that comes in a little bag and a toothpick?” 

Eiichi approached them, and she started to repeat herself in Japanese before he asked to interrupt her. 

“We’re all headed to the izakaya two blocks from here,” he announced to everyone. “I’ve already called ahead to reserve the space. Consider it a reward for a triumph of the first show on tour.” 

“But is there chicken,” she repeated in Japanese in mock desperation as she mussed her own hair, fussing it out of the careful styling she’d had it in for hours. 

Ranmaru’s phone buzzed from the notifications he missed, shutting them off for the duration of the show. Mostly from Natsuki and Reiji. He scrolled through the groupchat as they reacted live to the stream and tried to compliment Ranmaru on managing sound so well, though he was sure it couldn’t have possibly made much of a difference for the stream. 

Ranmaru (11:37 PM): it was a killer show, wasn’t it 

Ranmaru (11:37 PM): they’re talking about craving chicken right now. Guess it’s too bad we don’t have a kotobuki bento branch around here. 

Ranmaru (11:38 PM): i could go for a kara-age bento 

Reiji (11:38 PM): Ranran….! 

Natsuki (11:39 PM): Waaaah~! I hope you find some kara-age soon and share it with your shining star! 

Ranmaru immediately locked the phone after that. His stomach somersaulted once more time. He stood by what he said to her earlier, but he couldn’t imagine she’d want to talk after the way things had gone. Better to leave the group to that postshow glow, feed himself, and head back to the hotel. 

--------- 

The room was swimming just a little. Ranmaru blearly looked at his phone, trying to ignore the fact that he’d drank beyond his limit like an idiot. He knew he was like this, so why did he keep downing beer after beer? He’d gotten too used to needing as much as he could stomach to tolerate Reiji’s antics (and, he knew dimly, he was just too used to being able to rely on him once he’d hit his limit). 

She was seated right across from him, because of course she was, but they didn’t exchange any words or even eye contact. She was entirely focused on the rest of the group and the meal itself, laughing loudly between boisterous stories and jokes and devouring whatever snacks she ordered. 

Ranmaru got up. He could make it back to the hotel by himself, probably. Nobody asked as he left, which was how he’d preferred things, right? 

If there was such thing as taking a desolate wizz, maybe this is what it felt like, he thought to himself as he dried his hands on his shirt and left the restroom to step outside. Just for a moment. Just to get some air. 

Eiichi followed him out. 

“Can I help you,” Ranmaru said roughly after Eiichi caught the door behind him. 

“Hardly.” He had the same look in his eye as before. “I thought I’d take the opportunity to say well done.” 

Ranmaru grunted. “You still have six more shows with me. Compliment me when I’ve nailed all of them.” 

“Hm. I’d certainly expect no less. But,” he continued, that grin going places Ranmaru especially didn’t like. “I can’t say that was what I was referring to.” 

Ranmaru looked at him suspiciously. 

“She’s been a tough nut to crack,” he continued. “I’m glad my instincts were right, Ranmaru Kurosaki, your brusqueness and deep experience with music laid her heart bare enough she recognized some changes she needed to make.” 

He didn’t think, and only saw red -- he couldn’t blame the alcohol entirely, but the haziness was enough that his brain needed a moment to catch up to his gut reaction. 

Eiichi laughed, unfazed by Ranmaru’s hands on his collar or snarling expression. 

“Bastard!” he barked. Eiichi’s eyes glinted behind his glasses. 

“I heard your little conversation. Do you not stand by those words?” 

“Of course I do,” Ranmaru snapped. 

“They reached her,” Eiichi cut in before Ranmaru could think of what to say next. “She’s already asking me about extra vocal training before the next recording sessions.” 

“She doesn’t need more training!” He threw Eiichi back, finally letting go. He barely needed any effort to recover, and Ranmaru just glared at him as he kept raising his voice. “And I’m not your for-hire music coach! Is this how you treat all your contractors, you rat bastard of a producer?!” 

He just laughed that laugh of his, making Ranmaru even angrier. “Your passion for music and straightforwardness was evident, even in your initial inquiry. It was just excellent luck your technical skills were just as useful for sending this idol group hurtling towards their fullest potential.” 

“If you want her to reach it, you’d tell her she doesn’t need any extra lessons. You’d just tell her she’s a great goddamn idol the way she is right now,” Ranmaru spat. “Trusting her voice is just what’ll make her into a better one.” 

“I hear some selfish intent in that, Kurosaki.” Eiichi looked like he was burning with excitement. “But that just means I can trust your intentions more than anyone. You speak as someone whose heart’s already been moved. A fan...a loyal follower who desires their success. Perhaps even more than she does.” 

“I’m going back to the hotel.” Ranmaru strode past him, feeling himself burn from top to bottom. He gave Eiichi one last look in the eye. “If you need me before the show tomorrow, find someone else.”  

------- 

The next day and next show went uneventfully. Now that he’d met the group at Yokohama, he was travelling with them in the cars and equipment vans, and he made a point of finding a back seat nobody wanted to share, stretching out, and napping the whole ride. The setup at the next live house was a pain in the ass with their unusual devices and systems, but Ranmaru was quietly grateful to have his hands full. He liked having a good reason for not wanting to talk to (scold) anyone but the live house staff itself. Being irritated they went for weird, cheap models with lower quality helped him double down on the attention needed to make the group shine. They collectively got ramen afterwards. The only words he exchanged all meal were with the one Reiji liked so much, ferrying his ramen order for him when he got frustrated with the shop crowd and left to go wait outside. 

(He’d have to find a way to talk with her later about Reiji. Not just for the autograph -- he opened up his phone, ignoring any notifications that weren’t his work email, and messaged him. 

Ranmaru (9:42 PM): send me a pic of your Mae shrine 

Reiji (9:45 PM): ehh? Ranran, what for? 

Ranmaru (9:50 PM): just send it 

Dutifully, Reiji did. Ranmaru couldn’t have imagined he really had no idea what he planned to do with it, but if he wasn’t just playing dumb, at least he’d be getting one hell of a surprise.) 

It was during the third show that things started to happen a way he could scarcely believe. The show went pretty normally, except for one point where she stumbled badly enough during a complex turn she completely ate shit. But she played it off into something hammy and funny, rolling out of the way of the others, lying like she were posing in a cheesy beefcake calendar while she found the beat again to sing. 

Ranmaru still thought she needed to own up to her lack of courage and just sing more, but putting it like she was a coward was a mistake. He thought dimly to what Reiji had said that had convinced him -- “when was the last time you had fun working a stage like this?” And he wondered if he’d ever had fun onstage like he saw. He might’ve tasted the glory and passion of the stage, the delicious energy of the audience, and the power of rock -- he knew he did, he’d looked an easier, blander life in the eye and felt too desolate to walk that path, even with his inescapable debt. 

But it could be more fun. That audience could feel more, even more connected, that he could smile through mistakes when the performance came from camaraderie as much as passion and soul. Things could be better when they were shared beyond just the respect of an audience and a performer.

He didn’t realize he was smiling as much as he was until his cheeks were hurting, but that was also because he felt hungrier than he’d ever been.  

----

He couldn’t help calculating how many meals he’d be cutting into as the convenience store clerk rang up everything, even though he’d already gotten Eiichi to confirm he was going to expense him the bill and get refunded every cent. 

The show closed late. They had a special meet-and-greet he didn’t need to be around to handle, but none of them had had the chance to eat much outside of some spare snacks. He figured something fast and easy before they could collapse in the hotel would fit the bill. 

She wasn’t there when he went around knocking on the hotel room doors and delivering the goods. Gone out to relax on the roof, they said, and when they offered to hold her food, he said no, he’d take it right to her. 

The sound of the roof door opening looked like it startled her, and he didn’t know what else to do but hold up the bag full of food like a peace offering. 

“Eat something,” he said in English, tossing her a banana from the bag. She caught it before eyeing him up and down, then settled back to the outdoor lounge chair she’d been resting on. Ranmaru took a seat in the one across for her, setting the bag on the ground as he pulled the rest of the food out. She looked hesitant, only speaking until he’d laid everything out, even the drinks.

“...That smells good,” she said in Japanese. “What’s that, kara-age?” 

“I heard you guys were craving chicken.” 

 “I mean, I sure was. Thanks.”

“I told you English was fine,” he said, back to Japanese. 

“My Japanese is fine,” she said, tearing into the banana first. 

“Yeah, but if you’re tired of speaking outside of your native tongue,” Ranmaru started, already feeling himself get heated. “Why wouldn’t you take the chance to just rest?” 

She finished her bite of banana before giving him a look. “...If you insist.” 

They just sat in silence as she ate for a bit. 

“Is there something else you want from me?” she asked. She left half the kara-age and bottled tea.

“...No, not really. I wanted to say sorry for the other day, though.” 

“Ah.” She smiled knowingly, though she didn’t look happy about it. “Don’t worry about it. It sure isn’t the first or last time I’m gonna be criticized in this industry. I can handle it.” 

Ranmaru murmured in acknowledgement, not sure to what end making himself clear to would earn, but he had to, anyways. He stared down the half-full kara-age container. 

“...This is your goddamn food, you know.” He pushed it closer to her. “Eat it.” 

“Oh, you’re sure?” 

“I didn’t have a meet-and-greet that made me miss dinner. Do you really wanna work a tour on an empty stomach?” 

She scooped it up with a knowing ‘hmm’ and a half-smile. After polishing it off, she let out a heavy sigh. 

“You are right, though. I’m being a coward, not singing more.” 

“You’re not,” Ranmaru grumbled. 

“Sure,” she said dismissively. “But I guess I should apologize for getting so defensive. I thought you were just another macho shithead trying to talk the piss out of our group and the voice we have.” 

“That’s nothing to apologize for,” Ranmaru said resolutely. “....when I was in a band, I wish I’d had bandmates who’d do that kinda shit for me.” 

“Oh, shit, what’d you play?” 

“Vocals. Bass. Rock.” 

“Aw, c’mon, get more specific than that. Surf rock? Indie boy shoegaze? Folk punk with a little dash of polka?” 

Ranmaru gave her an incredulous look. “...Oi. Do I look like a polka guy?” 

She grinned widely, looking very satisfied with herself. “I dunno, you never know who’s got a secret accordion! I could see you, maybe you painted half of it, like, red to match that edgelord RPG hero heterochromia thing you got going.” 

Ranmaru grumbled, looking away. She laughed. “....I just like rock. If you had to pull my leg I guess I’d tell you hard rock. Maybe a little alt and prog.” 

“Ooh!” She exclaimed, barely letting the sip of tea get down her throat. “That’s the good shit! Did you ever record anything?”

Ranmaru hesitated. “...Yeah, but nothing that anyone can listen to anymore.” 

She seemed to understand without much more explanation. “...Well. You’re fucking good at the sound engineering side of things. Don’t tell management this -- or well, just don’t quote me on this --  but I like you a hell of a lot more than the guy we were supposed to have from the agency. He doesn’t know shit about how to make music that’s about soul and hype. It’s like, all one level the whole time, you know? Like it’s just sitting at an 8 the whole time, we don’t really get to do stuff like crescendos. Or like, punch someone in the dick by taking it from a three and shoot it to an eleven, you know?” 

“Yeah,” Ranmaru said, throwing a hand up. “What’s with that shit? There’s a bunch of stupid clients I had who were like that. Just one kind of loud, the whole album or concert through. What’s the fucking point if you aren’t gonna make people hear something other than just fuckin’ loud?” 

“Yeah! You get it!” she whooped, before she held her hand out for a fistbump. 

It surprised Ranmaru enough that it took a moment to register. But he smiled a little and pounded it. 

------

“Man-eating momma, steam-driven hammer

Sorts the men out from the boys--” 

She slid her arm around his waist, and he nearly choked on his beer. 

They were at Korean barbecue tonight, their own private room. The last meal, after the last concert, after the last meet-and-greet, after the last frantic merch sales. Ranmaru tried to buy himself a shirt, but instead was presented with a staff hoodie for the tour and a “one of everything” comp for the rest of the merch. They were now safely tucked with other goods he’d gotten signed for Reiji and Natsuki last night while everyone hung out in their big hotel suite. Hotel management made a mistake and upgraded the whole crew to their biggest room with extra cots to fit them all, and they spent the entire post show in a dizzying, joyful, communal haze. Ranmaru even told stories of the embarrassing depths of his groupchat’s devotion to the group and each of their favorites, and everyone took turns recording chaotic, personalized videos for Ranmaru to share later. They fell asleep at a truly stupid hour, and Ranmaru wondered if this is what having sleepovers as a kid felt like. 

“Takes no messing, all-in wrestling

Is one of her pride and joys” 

Ranmaru recognized the words as she pulled him closer, swaying after slamming her beer to the table. Maybe less the tune, since that was being yelled more than sung. 

“She's a classy, flashy lassy

Imitation sapphire shine-- c’mon, dude, you know!” She looked at him expectantly. She was very, very flushed, and at this point, he had to be, too. 

“We’re not at a karaoke bar!” he barked. 

“Where’s all that ‘you gotta sing more, fuckass’ energy now, huh,” she said, lowering her voice so much to mimic that Ranmaru briefly questioned if this is what he sounded like to her. 

“....Fine! If you’re gonna sing it, actually fuckin’ sing it, don’t just yell!” 

“Oh yeah,” she said with what passed for a shit-eating grin with her. “Then show me, partyboy. Hey, everyone, meet my new vocal coach! Hold onto your dick, folks, he better fuckin floor you with all the shit he’s been talking --”  

Ranmaru looked at her a moment as she kept ranting, first with incredulity, then with a weird surreal awe. What the hell was happening?  

Why the hell should he bother questioning it? 

“-- Two-faced liar, full of fire

But I know the flame is mine!” He cut off her rant, singing as much as he could like this were a stage. 

She -- and a bunch of other staff at the table -- whooped and cheered and laughed, but she and only she joined in with him without a care in the world. “Rocka Rolla woman for a Rocka Rolla man

You can take her if you want her

If you think you can--” 

He let the arm that’d been just awkwardly dangling behind her wrap around her shoulder. He felt warmer than he’d ever had, burning all the way to the tips of his ears. 

“Rocka Rolla woman for a Rocka Rolla man

You can take her if you want her you can!” 

They hung on the last note of the chorus -- she hung on comedically long before dragging them both up to bow while everyone else clapped, laughed, cheered. A server came, yelling that they had an order of grilled beef up. Eiichi, from the other end of the table, gestured that he’d ordered it, but passed it down until it sat in front of Ranmaru. 

-------- 

They had an overnight bus trip to get back home -- or close enough to home, anyways, Ranmaru still had another long train ride waiting afterwards, so he’d planned to sleep the whole bus ride. 

But she wound up sitting next to him, and even if he could pretend like that didn’t make his heart thump now by itself, she was chatty. 

He didn’t mind the conversation, though. They mostly talked about music, sharing concert stories and albums. He even talked a little about what he wanted to do now in between all the freelance work, and when she wished him luck and couldn’t wait to hear it, he didn’t feel like she was just blowing smoke. 

There came a pause while she downed a bottle of tea. 

“...I meant it when I said there’s something in your voice the audience oughta hear,” he said, looking at her intently. 

She laughed uncomfortably after she swallowed. “Thank you. I’ll…..I guess I just have to go for it, huh.” 

“What’s stopping you?” 

“I...hm….” She paused in intent thought for a while. “Well, for one, the technical control isn’t there.” 

“Yeah, but you’ll improve that by doing it.” 

“Yeah, yeah. But there’s more than just that, I guess.” 

“Like what.” 

“...Well, you know how this industry is. It’s…hard. Finding the balance of what you’re good at, what people want, and what the higher-ups think they want. I don’t think I’m anywhere near figuring that balance out...”

“Forget all that.” Ranmaru looked at her very seriously, shifting in place so he could look her in the eye a little better. “Don’t worry about any of those things.” 

She laughed disbelievingly. “Okay, sure, lemme just. Throw out my job description while I’m at it. Dude, the whole point of this job and this work is to make other people happy.” 

“I was happy hearing your voice just as it was that first day. You just. Sang the way you wanted to. I liked that. It felt good. Genuine.” He took a moment to recall the words he found at the beginning of the tour. “...You like it when people connect with your group’s voice ‘n adore your groupmates. So let ‘em adore you some.” 

“Oh, cuz I’m so adowable,” she joked, laughing as Ranmaru scowled. 

“I mean it. I….” he started. “...The audience is going to be better for hearing more of you. Whatever that means.” 

She thought about that for a moment. “...I...you know. I don’t think I’ve ever asked myself what that looks like. Or let myself realize it, anyway.”

“You can handle the criticism if it comes. If that’s something you’re scared of.” 

“...Maybe it is. Thank you, Ranmaru, I’m going to think about that and kick everybody’s teeth in the next time we record.  

“‘Snothing,” he murmured, but he felt like his heart was going to soar out of his chest, and later, as they both nodded off and slumped over each other as the road stretched on, he realized he felt sated in a way he couldn’t remember being. A weird sort, that took away the pang of hunger, but made him feel it more deeply through his whole being. 

---- 

When he arrived ‘home,’ it was lunchtime, and he was too dazed, hungry, and tired to weather one last long walk home without some food in his stomach. It was on the way-- he may as well go to Kotobuki Bento and make Reiji make good on the free bento offer. 

(His sister rang him up, and Ranmaru paid up.) 

Reiji found him after the meal, and he wound up heading to Reiji’s room. To give him the merch, theoretically, but after Reiji earned enough grouchy monosyllabic replies, he brought something that sounded like an actual question. 

“...So, Ranran, while you were away…” 

“Just say it,” Ranmaru muttered, eyes too tired to focus. “I’m too fucking tired for you to take the long away around.” 

“Nattsun’s friend wants to join our little fanclub!”

“....And.” 

Reiji shrank a little, speaking more sheepishly. “The thing is...we mentioned you and....he’s pretty sure you two already know each other and you’d want nothing to do with him.” 

Ranmaru hazily tried to recall who that could be. There were too many people whose guts he hated for him to figure it out by himself. 

“Who is it,” Ranmaru growled tiredly. “Just fucking say it.” 

“Does...Hijirikawa ring a bell?” 

It did. Ranmaru fumed in silence for a moment, thinking about the whirlwind of disaster that name was attached to, but also the vague memories of that quiet, serious boy in traditional dress who fretted after him when they were too small to know of things like debts and bankruptcy...

“...Whatever,” Ranmaru muttered. He looked at Reiji’s bed and decided he wasn’t going to tolerate any more of this exhaustion -- he had a reliable neighbor to leave food out for the cats, anyway, what was a couple more hours? “It’s not really much of a fanclub if it’s just the three of us. He can join if he wants. It’ll give you ‘n Natsuki someone who’s better at responding to your crazy nightlong gushing than me.” He tossed the dakimakura on Reiji’s bed, dented in the middle from so much hugging, to him, before he shrugged closer into his staff tour hoodie and slumped into Reiji’s bed. 

He could practically see Reiji stammering, even as he turned away and settled into the comfort of eyes closed and a real bed. Clearly, that wasn’t the answer he was expecting, and it wasn’t the one Ranmaru was expecting to give, either. 

“-- R...Ranran, you really--” 

“Yes! What the fuck wasn’t clear about what I said! Masato can join! Go add him already! Just let me sleep, you noisy bastard!” Ranmaru barked one last time at Reiji. 

Ranmaru ignored whatever last jabbering Reiji had for him, already carried off to proper sleep. He wondered what he could possibly dream about that would rival the past week and this satisfying feeling, cradled in his new hoodie.  

(I perform semi-professionally -- not as an idol, mind, but I’m still getting up on a stage/camera to entertain people on the reg -- and it was so weird but also really......doki-inspiring, let’s say, to imagine Ranmaru being a fan of my stage bravado :’’’’’D To be honest I’ve been feeling a little discouraged and burnt out by it lately but this really refilled my tanks!!!) 

[foodbytesback]

Internet Food Debates Are Good For You

I was served pineapple pizza at a friend’s house recently, and ate the combo- potentially the first time ever- while trying to force out my preconceived notions about how I hate it because the internet told me to.  A Discord server I belong to had an hour-long conversation rating the best and worst fruits and vegetables, and while “all melons taste the same, which is to say, ‘bad’” is not normally a hill that I’d want to die on, my friends were more than eager to kill me there anyways.  Countless thinkpieces have been written denouncing foods otherwise agreed-upon as being good, from chocolate and peanut butter to kettle chips.

Is nothing sacred?  Must everything be a debate?

It’s the internet, of course everything has to be a debate.  But in the case of food opinions, maybe that’s a good thing.

In an era where every day seems to get more and more polarizing (totally not referencing that election tomorrow hahahahaha………. 👀), people have a lot of built-up tension they need to release.  And, unfortunately, “everyone is entitled to their own opinion” tends to get conflated to encompass things that are, frankly, harmful to other people.  But with food arguments, the stakes are much lower, providing a much healthier way for people to exercise their need to be right.  So, if everyone on Twitter tires themselves out arguing about whether or not pineapple on pizza is good or not, they (hopefully) won’t have any energy left to go on Reddit to and start ranting about how “women and minorities aren’t people, actually.”  Of course, it doesn’t change the fact that those shitheads think things like that, but at least the rest of us don’t have to deal with it.  

It works for the other end of the political spectrum, too.  It’s understandable to want to jump down the throat of some fascist spreading bullshit in the comments section.  But engaging them in a “debate” only legitimizes their stance in the eyes of those susceptible to falling into that kind of mindset, so it’s best to just block them, stop doomscrolling (or, if this is in the real world, punch them), and save that anger for an argument where no one’s lives are at stake.

The writers of these thinkpieces aren’t trolls trying to get a rise out of people, they’re martyrs.  

The author of that kettle chips article even said that she wrote that solely as a public service to give people something to vent about.

There are some exceptions, however.  Mainly, any take that just boils down to “Ethnic food is weird/gross” (with some leeway potentially allowed for neurodivergent people with sensory/texture sensitivities) is pretty much just people wanting to argue about race again.  In fact, I’ve generally found people’s reaction to the smell of Indian food to be a pretty good litmus test for whether or not they were a piece of shit. (Not to say that there aren’t racists who still eat ethnic food, but you get the idea).  There’s also the matter of a quiz published by the New York Times recently asking readers to test if they could tell the difference between a Trump supporter’s fridge vs a Biden supporters fridge, based on classist stereotypes.  

Anyways, I’m gonna fire off some of my takes, hot or not, so feel free to respond with why you’re gonna try to steal my shin bones while I’m sleeping tonight.

Strawberries: TASTES BAD Bananas: TASTES BAD Celery: TASTES BAD AND FEELS BAD TO CHEW Cilantro: TASTES GOOD Smoothies: CAN BE A WHOLE MEAL Rare steak: TASTES BAD (that could be a whole article on its own…) Cucumber: NOT “REFRESHING,” JUST BAD Pickled cucumber: WHAT DID I JUST SAY Literally any other pickled vegetable: GOOD TV dinners: TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE, WE’RE ALL GOIN THROUGH SOME STUFF Raw/smoked salmon: TOO CHEWY Canned tuna: SMELLS LIKE CAT FOOD Pretty much any seafood, actually: OVERPRICED AND NOT REALLY WORTH IT Pineapple on pizza: ACCEPTABLE Ham on pizza: UNACCEPTABLE Pineapple on ham: WHY Fondant: IT’S FINE I GUESS

[writingfromkitchenator]

Not So Secret Kisses

Christmas fic

Masterlist

Based on an imagine found here by @thefandomimagine

Bones x OFC

Words: 1,974

Warnings: “Secret” dating, minor talks of an injury, mistletoe, getting caught, fluff

It wasn’t unusual for Star Fleet ships to be away from home for any sort of holiday, but after the year it had been, after everything that had happened, it was hitting the crew of the Enterprise harder than normal.

Senior staff had quickly discussed doing something to keep moral up, less they have anything short of a mutiny on their hands, so it seemed, almost overnight that the ship became decorated with all sort of bits and baubles from varying traditions.

The effect was immediately, laughter filling the corridors, some people exchanging quiet gifts, and everyone began to relax.

No one dared comment on it, but even Bones was feeling it.  Some of the nurses often broke into giggles when they saw him smile at some comment or another, or he even cracked a joke or two, that would have other roaring with laughter.  His best mood though, was when Blaire happened to appear from engineering.

Everyone knew that the two of them were a couple, but everyone also kept it closely under wraps so as not to alert her older brother.  No one wanted to think about what would happen to their head doctor if Scotty found out.

Blaire was always unworried though, something that Bones appreciated greatly about her.  No matter how bad things seemed, Blaire was always there to shrug it off and help them move on.  She was the only one that could make him smile after a too long day.

“Doctor McCoy, you have a visitor.”  One of the nurses said, smirking as she walked past, causing Bones to look up and instantly smile.

“Don’t let me distract you,” Blaire said as she strides in, grinning at him.  “I’d hate to think that a doctor isn’t getting his work done.”

Bones chuckles.  “In this case, the work can wait.  Unless you know of an imminent disaster approaching?”

Blaire seems to think as she sits on the edge of his desk, before shaking her head.  “Nope, sorry, I’ve got nothing.  I can ask Jim if you’re that desperate?”

“No, thank you,” Bones laughs.  “I’m quite content with this peace for the moment.  If only you engineers would stop burning or hurting yourselves in some way or another, we’d be empty.”

“Risks of the job,” Blaire grins, looking at her own hand, which was currently wrapped tight after a rather serious burn a few days before.  “Luckily, we have good doctors on board.”

“That is a good thing,” Bones stands and carefully takes her hand.  “How is it healing?”

Blaire shrugs.  “It’s okay, honestly I was more worried about Monty, I thought he was going to pass out on me when he saw it.”

Bones shakes his head as he unwraps it, giving a small smile.  “I thought Scotty would’ve seen more than enough by now to not react so badly. I thought he was going to start yelling when we took a little too long to start treating it.”

The wound was healing quickly, something both Blaire and Bones were happy to see, and even though it was still very raw, she wasn’t going to lose any use of her hand.

A fresh does of cream and some clean bandages later, Blaire tugged Bones down to her.

“Thank you Doctor,” Blaire said softly, earning a smirk from Bones.  “You’re going to have to let me repay you somehow.”

Bones chuckles and closes the distance between the two of them, sharing a brief but passionate kiss. “You can repay me by not getting hurt again.”

“No promises,” She grins. “I could also repay you by inviting you to mine for dinner tonight, and who knows?  You might get extra lucky.”

He captures her lips again, unable to help himself, at least until a nurse coughed a little awkwardly from the doorway.

“Apologies Doctor McCoy, we have someone that needs your attention.”

“I’ll be there in a moment,” Bones said, the nurse nodding and moving away, before his gaze found Blaire’s again.  “I’ll be there.  What time?”

“Seven.”  Blaire said with a smile, kissing his cheek as she slid off the desk.  “Don’t be late Bones, it would be rude this time of year.”

He watches her go, a smile on his lips as he shakes his head.  As far as he was concerned, the night couldn’t come soon enough.  It wasn’t often that he could escape away for something like this, but with everyone put at ease, celebrating in their own way with their own customs, it meant everyone had a bit more time.

The two of them hadn’t talked about exchanging gifts, but Bones had found one anyway, now tucked safely under his arm as he headed to her quarters.  He liked Christmas, although he very rarely celebrated it now, and so he wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to get Blaire something extra nice, even though she always told him that she was just happy with him.

Her door was answered within seconds of him buzzing, and he couldn’t help but let out a low whistle as she beamed at him from the doorway.  “Damn darling, is that all for me?”

Blaire does a small turn for him in the dress she wore, floral but light, it exposed just enough to let the eyes wonder and the imagination take hold.  “Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful, much like the lovely woman wearing it.” Bones grins, stepping just into the doorway as she stepped in close again.

She giggles, her hands brushing over his shirt.  “Doctor McCoy, you have a wonderful way with words, have I ever told you that?”

“All the time,” He said, his voice dropping a little, just in case anyone was walking behind him. “I could give you a few examples if you like?”

Blaire laughs, burying against his chest for a moment, still keeping him in the doorway.  “That is a rather tempting thought, but I’m sure it can wait till after we’ve eaten.  I’m starving.”

“Then let’s get us some food then,” Bones said, not taking note of the mischievous look in her eyes as she looks back up at him.  “And maybe I’ll even let you open your present early.”

He holds the gift out to her, and she beams, taking it.  “Thank you Bones, you really didn’t have to.”

His fingers brush over her cheek.  “Of course I did, you’re very special to me Blaire, and I’m going to use every opportunity to say that in any way I can.”

Blaire giggles, putting the present safely on the table next to the door before wrapping her arms around his neck.  “You’re very special to me too Leonard, it’s almost a shame that we can’t do this more often.”

Bones nudges her nose gently with his.  “Then why don’t you let me through the door so we can eat and do whatever else that comes to mind.”

“Because,” She smiles at him.  “If I let you in without committing a certain tradition, then we’re both going to be very unlucky.”

It takes Bones a moment before his gaze travels upwards, and he can’t hep but chuckle when he sees the sprig of mistletoe above the doorway, the two of them standing directly underneath it.  “Have you put one over every doorway?”

“Maybe.”  Blaire laughs.  “Guess you’ll just have to find out.”

Bones laughs and shakes his head for a moment before sweeping her into a kiss.  Their lips melded and danced easily with each other, the kiss slow and delicate but steadily getting away from them.  A small moan from her and Bones presses her into the doorway, craving closeness, his hands trailing over her exposed skin, her hands burying into his hair.

In that moment, they both completely forgot that they were out in the open and still very much exposed.

“What the bloody hell is going on here?”

The furious, stunned voice, broke them out of the kiss, both of them looking at Scotty, who had frozen, down the hall, a dangerous glint quickly forming in his eyes.

“Shit.”  Blaire muttered and quickly stepped in front of Bones, who cleared his throat.  “Monty, this is not what it looks like.”

“Oh, I think it’s exactly what it looks like,” Scotty snapped, finally marching forward.  “Or are you really going to try and tell me that he’s standing in your doorway, under mistletoe, for fun?”

“Um,” Blaire licks her lips. “Yes?”

Scotty’s glare focuses on Bones.  “Fine, then I’ll ask you.  What the bloody hell is going on?”

Blaire sighs. “Monty…”

“I want to hear it from him Bee.”  Scotty said firmly.

“Oh, because it completely just his fault.”  She huffed under her breath.

Bones raises an eyebrow. “Blaire and I have been seeing each other for a while now.  Do you have a problem with that?”

Blaire watches as Scotty takes note of this, mulls the words over quickly, his eyes darting between the two of them before she sighs and takes a step back.  “Well, I’m okay with that I guess.”

She stares at him. “Are you serious?”

Scotty lets a smile slip through.  “Shouldn’t I be?  He looks like he’s looking after you, and now I also understand why you’re getting the best medical treatment there is.  I knew no one could be that lucky in getting Bones all the time.”

Blaire flushes. “Oh?  And so the threats that I’ve put up with all my life?  Of ensuring that everyone I’ve been in a relationship with has been chased away?”

He shrugs.  “I knew they weren’t right for you.”

“Monty, you threatened to kill the Captain for just flirting with me!”

“Because that’s Jim,” Scotty said as Bones begins to laugh.  “And Jim has a reputation that I didn’t want you involved with.  I think, for once, you’ve finally chosen well.”

Blaire pursed her lips. “Oh, you are so dead.”

Bones catches her around the waist before she can leap at Scotty, who was laughing too, making her huff.

“We can discuss that later,” Scotty said, smiling.  “I can see you two already have a night planned, so I’ll leave you be.”  He looks back at Bones.  “There’s still limits though.”

Bones smirks.  “I think I can handle myself.”

Scotty nods and waves back at them as he continues his way down the hall, Blaire letting out an angry, frustrated huff.  “Unbelievable.”

Laughing, Bones pulls her back into the doorway.  “Would you like me to chase away that memory?”

Blaire looks at him and then back at the mistletoe, that she’d stepped out from and now he’d pulled her back under, a smile breaking through the anger.  “A quick kiss then, lest someone else awkwardly catch us in the doorway.”

Bones pecks her lips softly and pulls her inside, finally letting the door close behind them.  “There is a bright side to this, you know?  Now that he knows, we don’t have to be so discreet.”

She stops mid step on the way to the kitchen and looks back at him, it slowly dawning on her what he was insinuating, a smile creeping to her lips.  “I like the way you think.  Maybe I’ll have to ensure that you can visit engineering more often.  I know of a few spots that are discreet enough.”

He chuckles.  “Why do I have a feeling that Scotty isn’t going to know what hit to him?”

“Because he won’t,” Blair said flatly, still thinking it over.  “After all the years of over protection he’s put me through, then this is going to be only fair.”

Bones laughs and pulls her into his arms again, making her grin wickedly.

“You really did put mistletoe above every doorway, didn’t you?”  He asked, not needing to look up this time.”

“What can I say?”  She teased, holding him close.  “I like kissing my doctor.”

[catbreedsblog]

Can Cats Eat Green Beans? 16 Facts You Must Know

 How about green beans? Find out about the health benefits and possible risks of feeding green beans to cats, as well as how to keep your cat from eating them by accident. Find out if all cats, including kittens, can eat green beans raw or cooked, and if they can be given to cats with certain health problems. Find out about alternatives and supplements, as well as why it's important to get dietary advice from a vet.

Information about nutrition

Nutritional information is the information about the nutrients in a food or drink that can affect a person's health. This information usually includes serving size, calories, macronutrients (such as protein, fat, and carbohydrates), micronutrients (such as vitamins and minerals), and sometimes more information about certain ingredients.

You can find nutritional information on food labels, menus, and online, and it can help people make better decisions about what they eat.

What nutrients green beans have

Green beans are full of vitamins and minerals. They have vitamins like A, C, K, and folate, which help the immune system, improve vision, and keep skin healthy. Green beans also have minerals like iron, calcium, and potassium in them. These minerals are important for keeping bones strong, controlling blood pressure, and helping nerves and muscles work well.

Also, they are low in calories and high in fiber, which makes them a great food choice for people who want to stay at a healthy weight and have better digestion.

Advantages and Drawbacks

Green beans are not harmful to cats, so yes, they can eat them. But it's important to remember that cats have to eat meat, so most of their food should come from meat-based proteins.

Green beans add fiber to a cat's diet, which can help them digest food better, control their weight, and avoid getting constipated.

If a cat eats too many green beans or if they are cooked with extra seasoning or oil, which is bad for cats, it could cause digestive problems.

Overall, cats can eat green beans in small amounts, but they shouldn't be a regular part of their diet. Instead, they should be given them as a treat once in a while. Always talk to a vet before making big changes to a cat's diet.

Benefits of giving cats green beans

Green beans can help cats lose weight and help their stomachs work better, among other things. Green beans are low in calories and high in fiber, so cats can feel full without eating too many calories. This can be especially helpful for cats that are too heavy and need to lose weight.

The fiber in green beans can also help digestion by making bowel movements more regular and relieving constipation. Green beans also have vitamins and minerals in them, such as vitamin C, vitamin K, and folate, which can help with overall health and immune function.

But it's important to remember that cats must eat meat and need a diet that's high in protein and fat. Green beans can be a healthy addition to a cat's diet, but they shouldn't be used instead of a well-balanced diet for cats. Before making big changes to your cat's diet, it's always best to talk to a vet first.

Possible dangers of feeding green beans to animals

If you feed your pet green beans, there are a few things that could go wrong.

First of all, green beans have lectins, which are a type of protein that can make your stomach hurt if you eat too much of it. Lectins can stick to the lining of the gut and cause inflammation, which can lead to diarrhea, vomiting, and other stomach problems.

Second, green beans have a lot of fiber, which can also make your stomach hurt if you eat too much. When smaller animals like rabbits or guinea pigs eat too much fiber, they can end up with bloating, gas, and even blockages in their intestines.

Lastly, some pets may be allergic to green beans, which can cause an immune response that ranges from skin irritation to a life-threatening reaction.

So, it's important to give your pet green beans in moderation and make sure they're cooked right before you do. If your pet seems sick after eating green beans, you should see a vet right away.

Can cats safely eat green beans?

Green beans are not poisonous to cats, and they can be a healthy part of their diet as long as they are cooked and served plain, without any salt, seasoning, or oil. However, you should always talk to a vet before giving your cat new foods to make sure they are safe and right for your pet.

Can green beans be digested by cats?

Green beans are fine for cats to eat. Green beans are safe for cats to eat and can help them stay healthy by giving them fiber and vitamins. But it's important to know that cats are "obligate carnivores," which means that most of the protein in their diet should come from meat. Green beans and other vegetables are safe for cats to eat in small amounts, but they shouldn't be their main source of food.

Also, canned green beans may have salt added, so it's best to give your cat a treat of fresh or frozen green beans that haven't been seasoned.

Signs that cats have eaten too many green beans

When cats eat too many green beans, they can get stomach problems like vomiting, diarrhea, and stomach pain. Lethargy, loss of appetite, dehydration, and, in severe cases, seizures are also possible symptoms. If you think your cat has eaten something poisonous, like green beans, you should call a veterinarian right away.

Keeping cats from accidentally eating green beans

To keep your cats from eating green beans by accident, you should keep them away from green beans and other potentially dangerous human foods. To do this, put them in sealed containers and put them in cabinets or on high shelves that your cat can't reach.

Also, it might help to keep an eye on your cat while it eats and try to keep it from eating things that aren't meant for cats. If you think your cat has eaten green beans or another food that could be harmful, you should call your vet right away.

How many green beans can a cat eat at once?

Cats are obligate carnivores, which means they can only eat meat, so it's not a good idea to give them green beans. Even though small amounts of cooked green beans might not hurt a cat, you should talk to a vet before making any big changes to its diet.

How much and how often they eat

Moderation and frequency of feeding mean how much and how often an animal or person is fed. Feeding in moderation means giving just enough food to meet nutritional needs without going overboard. This can stop people from getting fat, having gas, and other health problems.

How often a person eats depends on his or her age, weight, and level of activity. For example, babies may need to eat often, but adults and animals may need to eat less often. To avoid overfeeding or underfeeding, it is important to set up a regular feeding schedule.

Overall, eating in moderation and eating often are important for staying healthy and avoiding the bad effects of either overfeeding or underfeeding.

Options and alternatives

Alternatives are choices that can be used instead of or in addition to the original choice. Supplements, on the other hand, are choices that can be used along with the original choice.

For example, if someone is allergic to dairy, almond milk could be a substitute for milk, and adding calcium supplements to their diet could be a supplement. If someone is looking for pain relief, acupuncture could be an alternative, while natural anti-inflammatory supplements like turmeric could be a supplement.

Overall, alternatives and supplements give people more things to think about when making decisions about their health and well-being.

Cats can also eat other fruits and vegetables.

Cats can eat cooked sweet potatoes, steamed asparagus, carrots, pumpkin, blueberries, and watermelon (without the seeds), among other fruits and veggies. But it's important to remember that fruits and vegetables shouldn't be a big part of a cat's diet. They should only be given in small amounts. Before feeding your cat something new, you should always talk to a vet first.

Food and treats that are sold in stores

Pet food and treats that are sold in stores are called "commercially available food and treats." These products are made and packaged by companies that make pet food and treats as their main business. There are different kinds of commercially available food and treats, such as dry kibble, wet/canned food, semi-moist food, and treats.

When it comes to commercially available food and treats for pets, owners can choose from a wide range of brands and options. Depending on a pet's age, breed, size, and health, these products can be changed to meet its nutritional needs. Also, commercial pet food and treats must meet safety and quality standards set by the government.

Before buying pet food or treats from a store, pet owners should carefully read the labels and list of ingredients. Some products may contain fillers, artificial preservatives, or low-quality ingredients. It's also a good idea to talk to a vet about the right type and amount of food and treats for a particular pet.

Why a varied diet is important

It's important to eat a variety of foods because that makes sure our bodies get all the nutrients, vitamins, and minerals they need for good health. Eating a variety of foods also helps prevent nutritional deficiencies and lowers the risk of getting long-term diseases like diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. Eating a variety of foods can also improve digestion and gut health by keeping the bacteria in the gut in a good balance.

Also, eating a variety of foods can make meals more enjoyable and filling, which can lead to a healthier relationship with food in general.

In summary

Cats can eat green beans in small amounts, but they shouldn't make up a large part of their diet because they are obligate carnivores and need protein from meat to stay healthy. Green beans are a healthy snack for cats who need to lose weight or have trouble going to the bathroom because they are low in calories and high in fiber.

But since green beans are high in fiber, eating too many of them can cause digestive problems like diarrhea or vomiting. Also, you should avoid canned green beans because they often have salt added, which is bad for cats. Overall, cats can eat green beans as a treat, but they shouldn't eat them instead of their regular meals.

Can green beans be eaten by a cat?

Green beans are fine for cats to eat. Green beans are safe for cats to eat and can help them stay healthy by giving them fiber and vitamins. But you should only give your cat green beans in small amounts and only as a supplement to their regular food. Also, you shouldn't give your cat green beans that have been canned, seasoned, or cooked with garlic or onions, because these can be harmful to cats.

Last thoughts on feeding cats green beans

Green beans can be a healthy and nutritious part of a cat's diet if they are given in moderation. Green beans have few calories and a lot of fiber, which can help you lose weight and keep your digestive system healthy.

But it's important to make sure the green beans are plain, cooked, and cut into small pieces to avoid choking or other digestive problems. Before making big changes to your cat's diet, you should talk to a vet, especially if they have any health problems or dietary restrictions.

How important it is to get dietary advice from a vet

It's important to get dietary advice from a vet because they have the skills and knowledge to figure out what an animal needs to eat based on its breed, age, lifestyle, and medical history. Veterinarians can make specific suggestions for an animal's diet that take into account any health problems or allergies the animal may have. They can also give advice on portion sizes and the best treats.

A well-balanced and nutritious diet can help prevent health problems like obesity, dental problems, and long-term diseases. This will help the animal stay healthy and live longer.

Can green beans be eaten by kittens?

Yes, kittens can eat some green beans. Green beans are low in calories and have good things for a kitten's health like fiber, vitamins, and minerals. But it's important to remember that green beans shouldn't be a kitten's main food. For kittens to grow and develop, they need food that gives them everything they need.

Also, you should cook the green beans before giving them to a kitten, and you shouldn't add any spices or other things that could hurt the kitten.

Can a cat eat raw green beans?

Green beans are fine for cats to eat raw. Even though cats mostly eat meat, giving them small amounts of vegetables can be good for their health. Green beans are a good source of fiber and vitamins K, C, and A. But you should give your cat any new food slowly and in small amounts to make sure it doesn't get sick or have any other bad reactions.

Also, make sure to wash the green beans well and cut off any stems or strings before giving them to your cat.

Can cooked green beans be eaten by cats?

Yes, cats can have a few cooked green beans as a treat or to add to their regular food. Green beans are a good way for cats to get fiber and nutrients like vitamins C and K.

But it's important not to add any spices, salt, or oil to the green beans, as these can be harmful to cats. Also, green beans shouldn't replace a cat's regular, well-balanced diet, and any new food should be added slowly to avoid digestive problems.

All cats can eat green beans, right?

Green beans are fine for cats to eat. Green beans are not dangerous for cats to eat, and a small amount can be a healthy addition to their diet. But it's important to remember that cats are obligate carnivores, which means they can't live without meat. So, green beans shouldn't be a big part of their diet. Instead, they should be given as a treat every once in a while.

Also, you shouldn't give cats canned green beans that have salt or other ingredients that could be bad for their health.

Can cats with certain health problems be given green beans?

Green beans can be a healthy and helpful part of a cat's diet, but you should think about the cat's health before giving it green beans. If a cat has kidney disease or problems with their urinary tract, you might not want to feed them green beans. Before adding anything new to a cat's diet, it's best to talk to a vet, especially if the cat already has health problems.

[catbreedstips]

Can Cats Eat Green Beans? 16 Facts You Must Know

 Can green beans be eaten by cats? Find out what green beans are good for, what could go wrong if you feed them to your cat, and how to keep your cat from eating them by accident. Find out if all cats, including kittens, can eat green beans, whether they are raw or cooked, and if they can be given to cats with certain health problems. Find out about alternatives and supplements, and why it's important to get dietary advice from a vet.

Information about food

Nutritional information is information about the nutrients in a food or drink that can have an effect on a person's health. This information usually includes the size of the serving, the number of calories, the macronutrients (like protein, fat, and carbs), the micronutrients (like vitamins and minerals), and sometimes more information about specific ingredients.

You can find nutritional information on food labels, menus, and online, and it can help people make better decisions about the foods they eat.

Green beans have nutrients.

Green beans are full of healthy things. They have vitamins like A, C, K, and folate, which help the immune system, improve eyesight, and keep skin healthy. Green beans also have minerals like iron, calcium, and potassium in them. These minerals are important for keeping bones strong, controlling blood pressure, and keeping nerves and muscles working well.

Also, they are low in calories and high in fiber, which makes them a great choice for people who want to stay at a healthy weight and have better digestion.

The pros and cons

Green beans are not harmful to cats, so they can eat them. But it's important to remember that cats must eat meat, so most of their food should come from meat-based proteins.

Green beans add fiber to a cat's diet, which can help them digest food better, keep their weight in check, and avoid getting constipated.

Green beans can cause digestive problems in cats if they eat too many or if they are cooked with extra seasoning or oil, which is bad for cats.

In short, cats can eat green beans in small amounts, but they shouldn't be a regular part of their diet. Instead, they should be given them as a treat once in a while. Before making any big changes to a cat's diet, it is always best to talk to a vet first.

Green beans are good for cats in many ways.

Feeding green beans to cats can help them lose weight and help them digest better, among other things. Green beans are low in calories and high in fiber, which can make cats feel full without making them eat too many calories. This can be especially helpful for cats that are too fat and need to lose weight.

The fiber in green beans can also help digestion by making bowel movements more regular and preventing constipation. Green beans also have vitamins and minerals like vitamin C, vitamin K, and folate, which can help keep your body healthy and your immune system working well.

But it's important to remember that cats must eat meat and need a diet high in protein and fat. Green beans can be a healthy part of a cat's diet, but they shouldn't be used as a replacement for a well-balanced diet. Before making any big changes to your cat's diet, it's always best to talk to a vet first.

Possible risks of giving green beans to animals

If you give your pet green beans, there are a few things that could go wrong.

First of all, green beans have lectins, which are a type of protein that can make it hard to digest if you eat too much of it. Lectins can attach to the lining of the gut and cause inflammation, which can lead to diarrhea, vomiting, and other stomach problems.

Second, green beans have a lot of fiber, which can also make your stomach hurt if you eat too much of it. When smaller animals like rabbits or guinea pigs eat too much fiber, they can get bloated, have gas, or even have their intestines get blocked.

Lastly, some pets may be allergic to green beans, which can cause a response from the immune system that ranges from skin irritation to a reaction that could kill the pet.

So, you should only give your pet a small amount of green beans and make sure they are properly cooked before doing so. If your pet acts strangely after eating green beans, you should talk to a vet right away.

Is it okay for cats to eat green beans?

No, green beans are not poisonous to cats. In fact, they can be a healthy part of their diet as long as they are cooked and served plain, with no salt, spices, or oil added. Before giving your cat new foods, you should always talk to a vet to make sure they are safe and right for your pet.

Can green beans be eaten by cats?

Green beans can be eaten by cats. Green beans are not dangerous for cats and can be good for them because they have fiber and vitamins. But it's important to remember that cats are "obligate carnivores," which means that most of the protein in their diet should come from meat. Green beans and other vegetables are safe for cats to eat in small amounts, but they shouldn't be their main source of nutrition.

Also, canned green beans may have added salt, so it's best to give your cat a treat of fresh or frozen green beans that haven't been seasoned.

Signs that a cat has eaten too many green beans

If a cat eats too many green beans, it could have stomach problems like vomiting, diarrhea, and stomach pain. Lethargy, loss of appetite, dehydration, and, in the worst cases, seizures are also possible signs. If you think your cat might have eaten something poisonous, like green beans, you should call a vet right away.

Keeping cats from eating green beans by accident

To keep your cats from eating green beans by accident, you should keep them away from green beans and other foods that could be dangerous for them. You can do this by putting them in containers with tight lids and putting them in cabinets or on high shelves that your cat can't reach.

Also, it might help to keep an eye on your cat when it eats and try to keep it from eating things that aren't meant for cats. If you think your cat has eaten green beans or something else that could be harmful, call your vet right away.

What's the most green beans a cat can eat?

Cats are obligate carnivores, which means they can only eat meat, so it's not a good idea to feed them green beans. Even though a small amount of cooked green beans might not hurt a cat, it's best to talk to a vet before making any big changes to its diet.

How much and how often to feed

The terms "moderation" and "frequency of feeding" refer to how much and how often an animal or person is fed. Moderate feeding means giving the right amount of food to meet nutritional needs without going overboard. This can keep you from getting fat, having gas, and having other health problems.

The number of times a person eats depends on his or her age, weight, and level of activity. For example, babies may need to eat more often, while adults and animals may need to eat less often. It is important to set up a regular feeding schedule so that you don't overfeed or underfeed your pet.

Overall, eating in moderation and eating often are important for staying healthy and avoiding the bad things that can happen when you eat too much or not enough.

Different options and extras

Alternatives are choices that can be used instead of or in addition to the original choice. Supplements, on the other hand, are choices that can be used in addition to the original choice.

For example, if someone is allergic to dairy, almond milk could be used as a substitute for milk, and calcium supplements could be added to their diet. In the same way, acupuncture could be an alternative way to treat pain, while natural anti-inflammatory supplements like turmeric could be used as a supplement.

Overall, alternatives and supplements give people more things to think about when making decisions about their health and wellness.

Other fruits and veggies that cats can eat

Cats can eat cooked sweet potatoes, steamed asparagus, carrots, pumpkin, blueberries, and watermelon (without the seeds), among other fruits and vegetables. But it's important to keep in mind that fruits and vegetables shouldn't be a big part of a cat's diet. They should only be given in small amounts. Before giving your cat any new foods, it's best to talk to a vet first.

Food and treats that can be bought

Food and treats that are sold in stores for pets are called "commercially available food and treats." These items are made and packaged by companies that make pet food and treats as their main business. There are different kinds of food and treats for sale, like dry kibble, canned food, semi-moist food, and treats.

When it comes to food and treats for pets that are sold in stores, pet owners can choose from a wide range of brands and options. Different pets have different nutritional needs based on their age, breed, size, and health. These products can be changed to meet those needs. Also, commercial pet food and treats have to meet safety and quality standards set by the government.

Before buying pet food or treats from a store, pet owners should carefully read the labels and list of ingredients. Some products may have fillers, artificial preservatives, or low-quality ingredients. It's also a good idea to talk to a vet about the right kind and amount of food and treats for a particular pet.

Variety in diet is important

It's important to eat a variety of foods because that makes sure our bodies get all the nutrients, vitamins, and minerals they need to be healthy. Eating a wide range of foods also helps prevent nutritional deficiencies and lowers the risk of getting long-term diseases like diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. Eating a variety of foods can also help with digestion and gut health by keeping the bacteria in the gut in a good balance.

Also, eating a variety of foods can make meals more fun and satisfying, which can lead to a healthier relationship with food in general.

In the end,

Cats can eat green beans in small amounts, but they shouldn't make up a big part of their diet because they are obligate carnivores and need protein from meat to stay healthy. Green beans are a healthy snack for cats who need to lose weight or have trouble going to the bathroom. They are low in calories and high in fiber.

But because green beans are high in fiber, eating too many of them can cause digestive problems like diarrhea or vomiting. Also, cats shouldn't eat canned green beans because they often have salt added to them, which is bad for them. Overall, cats can eat green beans as a treat, but they shouldn't eat them instead of their regular food.

Can green beans be eaten by cats?

Green beans are safe for cats to eat. Green beans are not dangerous for cats and can be good for them because they have fiber and vitamins. But you should only give your cat green beans in small amounts and not as a replacement for their regular food. Also, you shouldn't give your cat green beans that have been canned, seasoned, or cooked with garlic or onions, because these things can hurt cats.

Last thoughts on giving cats green beans

Green beans can be a healthy and nutritious part of a cat's diet if they are given in small amounts. Green beans have few calories and a lot of fiber, which can help you control your weight and keep your digestive system healthy.

But you should make sure the green beans are plain, cooked, and cut into small pieces to avoid choking or other digestive problems. Before making any big changes to your cat's diet, you should talk to a vet, especially if they have any health problems or dietary restrictions.

How important it is to get dietary advice from a veterinarian

It is important to get dietary advice from a veterinarian because they have the skills and knowledge to figure out what an animal needs to eat based on its breed, age, lifestyle, and medical history. Veterinarians can make specific suggestions for an animal's diet, taking into account any health problems or allergies the animal may have. They can also give advice on portion sizes and the best treats.

A well-balanced and nutritious diet can help prevent health problems like obesity, tooth problems, and long-term diseases. This will help the animal stay healthy and live longer.

Do cats like green beans?

Yes, kittens can eat a small amount of green beans. Green beans are good for a kitten's health because they are low in calories and full of fiber, vitamins, and minerals. But it's important to remember that green beans shouldn't be a kitten's main source of food. Kittens need food that gives them everything they need to grow and develop.

Also, you should cook the green beans before giving them to a kitten, and you shouldn't add any seasonings or other ingredients that could hurt the kitten.

Can cats eat green beans that are still raw?

Green beans are safe for cats to eat raw. Even though cats are mostly carnivores, giving them small amounts of vegetables can be good for their health. Green beans are a good source of fiber and the vitamins K, C, and A. But it's important to give your cat any new food slowly and in small amounts to make sure it doesn't get sick or have any other bad reactions.

Also, make sure to wash the green beans well and take off any stems or strings before giving them to your cat.

Can cats eat cooked green beans?

Yes, cats can have a small amount of cooked green beans as a treat or to add to their regular food. Green beans are a good way for cats to get fiber and vitamins C and K.

But it's important not to add any spices, salt, or oil to the green beans because those things could be bad for cats. Also, green beans shouldn't take the place of a cat's regular balanced diet, and any new food should be added slowly to avoid digestive problems.

Does every cat like green beans?

Green beans are safe for cats to eat. Green beans are not dangerous for cats to eat, and in small amounts, they can be a healthy part of their diet. But it's important to remember that cats are "obligate carnivores," which means that they can only live off of meat. So, green beans shouldn't be a big part of their diet and should only be given as a treat every once in a while.

Also, you shouldn't give your cat canned green beans that have salt or other ingredients that could be bad for their health.

Can cats with certain health problems eat green beans?

Green beans can be a healthy and helpful part of a cat's diet, but you should think about the cat's health before you give it green beans. If a cat has kidney disease or problems with its urinary tract, for example, it might not be a good idea to feed it green beans. Before adding something new to a cat's diet, it's best to talk to a vet, especially if the cat already has health problems.

[deniigi]

I had a really bad day (I wont say why because I wouldnt want you to feel like I'm guilting you into anything) and I was wondering if maybe you had a dfv/lfv or inimitable verse drabble you havent put up or one on here you really like you could point me to (navigation is hard on mobile) or even just some like hcs. If not its totally ok! You dont owe me anything. But I thought I'd ask and see if that's ok.

Oh no!

Sorry that you had a rough day my dear. I don’t have much in the works for those verses right now (I’ve been hammering my head against a wall, trying to write out a piece exploring Gwen and Murderdock’s relationship–it’s not working tho, so I’m stopping). Of course any of the Clint-based pieces are fun in those verses if you need a pick me up, but I am equally fond of Chapter 13 of Sidebars.

But! If you don’t mind a little piece from Lying by Omission/The Sprawl I’ve got cute little bit of Jack and Ben going out to dinner with Matt and Peter?

I’ll put it under the cut if you’re down

—-

“Dad, let’s go out to eat.”

Jack didn’t trust that. Jack had been scarred by the durian. Permanently scarred. He was never coming back from the durian. He was etching a durian with a big ‘X’ through it into the top of his next coffin for future archaeologists to find and have absolutely no questions about.

Matt, sensing that he was presently not receiving the amount of attention that he could be receiving, oozed out of the kitchen and draped himself over the back of the couch, right behind Jack’s shoulders. Jack glanced to the side and noted that he was wearing shoes.

He wasn’t chancing it.

“No shoes on the couch,” he said.

“It’s my couch,” Matt hummed, already migrating over to the couch’s arm, no doubt to burrow his way under Jack’s own arm.

“It’s a couch.”

“My couch,” Matt hummed, plucking Jack’s phone out of his hand and tossing it callously to the other side of said couch. He then executed the burrow and wriggled himself over so that he was the sole occupant of Jack’s lap. He waited, as sweet as could be, until he had Jack’s more or less undivided attention.

The kid was heavy. Jack couldn’t tell if he knew just how heavy he was.

He suspected that he was more than aware of it.

Matt beamed at him. He did not pull his shoed feet over the couch’s arm.

A sign of obedience. Or perhaps a buttering-up technique.

Tricky, tricky.

“Why do we need to go out to eat? What’s wrong with what’s in the fridge?” Jack asked Matt’s untrustworthy grin.

It faded a little because there was a pout which needed doing.

“I’m tired of eating potatoes,” Matt huffed.

“Take it back,” Jack scolded him. “I won’t hear any raggin’ on tatties in this household.”

“I want rice.”

“I’ll make you rice, Matty.”

“I don’t want your rice.”

Picky little shit. Just like his mother. She’d been the type to refuse a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if the slop wasn’t equally distributed.

Jack’s rice was perfectly fine. It even had bits of onion in it. If he was feeling real fancy, he might even cook it in broth or something.

“Fine, so make rice yourself,” he said. Matt squirmed up and wrapped arms around Jack’s neck. He put his cheek against it and immediately made the skin there it itch.

“You need a shave,” Jack huffed, reaching back for his phone. Vanessa was doing battle with her replacement: Bella the cat. She was giving their zombie group the play by play of the her and the cat’s opposing campaigns to win Wade’s favor. Thus far, Bella had broken a plate and gotten scratchies and kisses for it. Vanessa was outraged.

It was an outrage to behold.

“Daddy.”

Not this again. This was no reason to bring out the big guns.

“Get your shoes,” Matt whined.

“Baby, you can go out. I’m not stopping you from going out. No one is stopping you from going out, god help us,” Jack told him.

Matt abandoned his neck, stretched out, quick as a whip, and snatched the phone on the other cushion. He crammed it into his shirt and then replaced himself and his face-broom against Jack’s pulse point.

Yeah.

Yeah, Jack didn’t know what he’d expected to happen here.

“Matt,” he warned.

“Dinner.”

“The last time we went to dinner, you broke my heart, soul, and trust.”

“I won’t do it again.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, right. ”

“I won’t,” Matt promised, pulling back to add puppy eyes to the mix.

That was unfair. Uncalled for. Totally underhanded.

“Why don’t you go out with Foggy?” Jack tried as a last-ditch effort.

“Because I want to go out with you,” Matt emphasized. “My pops. My old man. We gotta bond. It’ll make me more well-adjusted. The internet says so.”

Jack was confiscating the internet. The internet was a know-it-all snitch.

“DAD.”

“Fine, for fuck’s sake, boy. Get off, you’re drowning me here.”

  Jack would go out to dinner on one condition.

Two conditions actually.

1)      There was to be no durian. Anywhere. At all.

2)      He got to bring moral support.

Matt was more than cool with that because it meant that he could replace the durian with another creative element which would equally torture Jack.

So Jack asked Ben Parker to come along. Parker was sharp as a tack. Compared to Jack, he was a man of the world. A reasonable and sensitive body with respect for his fellow humans. He promised to help Jack identify potential threats to his person flung his way by his uncaring and mischievous son.

Unfortunately, to that end, Matt insisted that they take Ben’s nephew, Peter, out with them too.

Jack knew from the start that this was Matt inserting his chaos element into what might otherwise be a perfectly tolerable and uneventful night out. But he also held out hope that Peter would be the sweet, kind-hearted boy he appeared to be.

It really was too much to ask for.

Peter latched his whole body onto Matt within seconds of their two parties meeting up and the two of them immediately set to whispering which bode poorly for everyone else involved.

“I believe we may have made a mistake,” Ben observed, rubbing thoughtfully at his chin.

  Matt wanted rice and Peter wanted something sour enough to leave ulcers in his mouth, so the two of them decided that Thai food would achieve both of these effects. Jack was suspicious. Ben told him that Thai food was very tasty and he had little reason to fear, except.

Except.

“Peter hates durian, it’s fine, he won’t be setting up any conspiracies around it,” Ben promised him.

Mm.

They’d see about that.

Foggy had said something similar when he and Matt had dragged Jack out for Filipino food.

  Jack was pretty sure that Peter just wanted a lime. He was 90% sure that all Peter’s cravings could be satisfied with a lime right now.

Matt, however, in an unlikely turn of events, convinced him that he should get food-substances to accompany his burning desire for limes. Peter grumbled at this and deferred to his uncle for support in the face of this logic.

Chaos element, located.

“Pick a carb,” Ben directed.

“Sugar is a carb,” Peter argued.

“Pick a carb in a less refined form,” Ben countered easily.

“If it’s raw sugar, it—”

“Veg, noodles, or rice,” Ben offered him.

Peter scowled.

“You said a carb,” he pouted. “I want sugar.”

“I have good news for you, sweet child of mine,” Ben said fondly. “There is sugar in everything served in the United States of America. You will have your sugar. Pick its structure: veg, noodles, or rice.”

Ben made Jack feel like a shit dad sometimes. Although, to be fair, Jack hadn’t been a dad as long as Ben had.

Peter, outwitted and bitter about it, agitated Matt to help him.

Matt saw no need for that.

“You’re gonna be hungry in an hour and then you’re gonna whine about it,” he declared.

Peter scowled at him and then turned his lethal puppy eyes onto Jack. Jack set up a menu between the two of them because he was not strong enough to cope with that.

Peter whined behind it.

  Things were going too smoothly for too long. Jack did not trust the decent behavior happening at this table. Ben got a kick out of his paranoia, which was great because someone needed to.

“What are you hiding?” Jack asked Matt. Matt scoffed.

“Chill, old man,” he said. “We’re literally just having dinner. Maybe try to have a good time, huh?”

No.

Something evil was afoot.

Peter snickered. Matt swatted at him; he easily dodged the hand.

Trouble.

  Dinner was eaten and paid for and Jack eventually gave up and settled down. Begrudgingly, he had to admit that Matt was right. Thai food was nice. No incidents had occurred. There was no durian. Ben and Peter made for good conversation, even if everything led back to Peter’s obsession with sci-fi films.

Ben told him that if he kept mentioning them, the aliens would hear him and his name would start to move up higher up on their list of potential captures.

The kid was horrified.

Matt helpfully started counting off the number of times Peter had mentioned aliens in the last week and Peter had briefly looked like he was going to cry.

“Is your wife not going to hear of this?” Jack asked Ben as they walked after the trouble duo who had determined that they were finding dessert at a different location. They seemed to know what they were after, so Jack and Ben left them to it.

“Oh, she will,” Ben said.

“And you don’t mind?”

“She encourages it. She’s convinced him that if you leave a tv on static, aliens can pick up on your watch history.”

Interesting parenting techniques going on here.

Ben laughed.

“Well, I guess we just figure that if you’ve got a weird kid, it’s easier on everyone if you just lean into it. My brother probably wouldn’t be so down with it, but he’s not here, so whatever.”

Ah, right.

“Peter’s your brother’s son, then,” Jack noted.

Ben hummed.

“I…guess,” he said uneasily. “I—it’s hard to explain. I mean, biologically, yeah he’s Rich’s son. But, you know, me and May’ve raised him for longer than Rich and Mary were ever in his life, so, I dunno. Is it fucked up that I kind of think of him as my son?”

No. Not at all.

“My eldest brother pretty much raised me,” Jack told him. “My mama couldn’t be assed to do anything more than scream at the drop of a hat and my daddy was busy drinking himself to death, so Bill was the one who got me up and dressed and off to school in the morning. I always thought of him as a mix between a brother and a mom.”

“No shit?” Ben said. “Where is he? He still around?”

Uuuuuuuh.

“We haven’t talked for a long time,” Jack said.

“Oh? Well, now’s your chance you know.”

Jack tried not to wince too sharply. Ben caught it anyways.

“Or not,” he said. “You don’t have to if its painful or something.”

Oh, buddy.

“We’ll see,” Jack decided. “I’ll need to think about it.”

He didn’t know how Matt would react. Hell, he didn’t know how he would react to seeing Bill again.

  Matt and Peter presented Jack with a drink that had evil hiding in the bottom of it.

He should have known better to think he’d escape that night uninjured.

–

I hope this cheers you up my dear and that things get easier for you soon!