#it's all Octavio's fault

[opal-owl-flight]

No sign of Rain.

Not easy living with the fact that you hurt someone you just wanted to protect, isnt it.

More context under the cut!

Tldr: 3 realizes that forcing 4 away from the Platoon after Sploon2 the way they did wasnt the best choice. That forcing her to ignore what had happened had most likely contributed to her unable to cope with life beyond war.

(The comic above is from after Sploon3/SO! Situation described below is post Sploon2/OE.)

3 and 4 have been doing missions together awhile. 4s been able to handle herself well, but theres a moment where she trips up and gets hurt a lil more than usual. Like, its to the point where she needs to be taken off the field awhile.

3...

"|Im sorry.|"

"Heh? Three, if it wasnt for you, Id be dead. What are you saying sorry for?"

"|...if it werent for me going away when Octavio stole the Zapfish again...youd never have been dragged into this mess.|"

"Thats not your fault, Three. Cap'n called you away."

3 sighs... "|Still...you couldve been living a life where you never have to worry about your life being put in this much danger.

Or anyone else's life, for that matter.|"

4s the one whos quiet now, as she glances away. 3 does have a point... "...I guess so, yeah. But that wouldve meant that Id never have met you."

Silence sits between them awhile, until 3 grunts softly, to get 4 to look at them again. "|I want you to promise me something.|"

"What is it?"

"|When things settle down again, I want you to leave.|"

"....What?"

"|Live your life away from this. This danger, this war, this...everything.|"

"And leave YOU? Three, you cant do things alone anymore, you KNOW it!"

A clack of their beak. "|Im more capable than you think, Four. Dont think less of me.|"

"Im not- Im not thinking less of you!! Im just stating the facts!"

3s making a low gurgling noise. Its a similar sound an inkfish makes before spitting ink. A sound that says "dont test me."

"Three, Im not leaving. Its already happened... everything -- Octaria, the zapfish, the metro -- its all happened, and I cant just...go back after all of that."

"|Yes, you can. You still can. Youve a life outside this. Why else are you late enough that Marie has given up reprimanding you?|"

4 backs down...3s right. Again.

"...and what about you? Why dont you leave, too? Once...everything is stable."

3s ears droop. "|...theres nothing left for me. Ive thrown my lot with the NSS for as long as I remember. My team barely even recognizes me these days.|"

A silent beat goes by between them again.

"|So promise me. Promise me.| Rain." They rasp her name, making sure she gets the point. "|Promise me you'll live. Promise me you'll go back up there. You said you wanted to go to college -- go. Dont look back. Dont become like me.

I dont want you to become like...this.|"

They gesture to their scar. Their tentacles, forever stained marbled cyan.

4 can see in the gesture the pain they hid in their hearts. The regret. The guilt.

"...Tanara..."

"Live." they rasp, So quietly."Live. Promise me."

"I dont want to leave you alone."

"|Ive been in this war since Ive hatched, and Ive done things on my own before you were dragged into this. You deserve none of this bullshit.|"

"You dont deserve it either!"

3 grips her shoulders. pleading with her. "Promise me. Please promise me. That youll leave."

4 shakes her head. Resolute.

"Im sorry...I cant promise that to you. Youre my friend, Tanara. Im not letting you do this alone."

3... leans against her, defeated. Burying their face into her shoulder. Theyre shaking their head, clutching on her tight.

"...I-Im sorry, I...Ill be more careful next time. Okay? I can...I can promise you that much."

3 remains silent. Thats not what they want. They want her to be safe forever.

"...this really means a lot to you, huh?

Okay.

Ill...Ill think about it."

------------------------

She does eventually decide to leave. Things were looking up for awhile, and missions are much lighter. She can dare to dream bigger now. That and...she cant stand seeing 3 looking so guilty whenever she says something abt her life on the surface.

None of it is their fault. Any of this. But they still feel that theyre taking her away from her "real life".

When she said that shes leaving the platoon, 3s look of jubilation both relieved and pained her. Then a thought hit her, right there.

"...Wait...all this time- did you just want to get rid of me? D-did you not want to be friends anymore?"

3 shakes their head. "|Rain, I asked you to live your dreams as a friend.

Your safety would be guaranteed. Youd be able to happily live your dreams without worry.|"

"...Will I ever see you again?"

3 sighs. "|...hopefully not.|"

4 gasps.

"|No- no-! Not because I dont want to see you-|"

"Tanara, youre making it hard for me to believe that youre doing this for me. What kind of life would I have if youre not there? Not a happy one, Im telling you!!!"

3s shaking as they sign. Trying so hard to keep their breaking mask tight.

"|Im a soldier, Rain. And Ill likely be one til the day I die.

I dont want to drag you back into this mess. I dont want you to get hurt, because of me.|"

Why is it that they always have a point? 4 despairs at the fact.

"So this means goodbye..?"

"|Weve got some days left. Lets make them count.|"

A smile. A bittersweet one.

------------------------

These teenagers goddamn. 3 doesnt understand fully that shit still happened and one cant just leave and pretend nothing had transpired. Or maybe they felt they didnt deserve to have someone as good as 4.

Theyre ruthless in a sense that they know what their goals are. Their goal was to keep the world safe for everyone else to live. And if it means sacrificing their friendship with 4, so be it. If shes safe, their goal is met. Doesnt matter what either of them feel about it. (I suppose 4 getting injured really pushed them to make that choice.)

And 4... yeah, leaving was the smart choice for her personal growth, but agreeing with 3 to sacrifice their friendship wasnt the best choice to agree to. She felt like she cant argue 3 out of that decision they made for the both of them...so she just followed it.

"|Look alive, Rain. Your brand new life awaits you.|"

------------------------

Thats why theyre so flabbergasted and upset that she came back. It felt like that time they spent alone, that sacrifice they made, was all in vain...

"Im sorry, Three. It sucked being away from you. It really did. I failed to live there...maybe my life is really meant to be lived here. On duty.

With you."

Are they disappointed that she failed her brand new life? No, never. They gave her the chance to run away from it all, but she came crawling back after doing so. If she felt that her life is here, after trying something else, so be it.

Thats what convinced them enough to allow 4 to return to duty. Theyll keep her safe another way. They also cant hide from themself the fact that theyre happy to see her again after so long.

[nephilimbrute]

ur agents in particular FASCINATE me so so much i love your interpretations of them. could u tell us more about them and their stories? particularly 8, theyre so interesting!!! why do they hate marina? what happened between them and 3? what’s their relationship like with 4? anything you wanna say abt them, i’d love the infodump

omgosh....😇

a few days ago i wrote a thing that like. detailed stuff about major events with 8. i'll paste them here

agent 8 during the entire course of Octo Expansion was extremely shaken up. they couldn't think straight at all, leaving them vulnerable. sanitized cap3 wasn't much different too, she still had some control over herself and she never wanted to fight 8, making the battle between them long and confusing. eventually 8 gave up and walked up to her, ripping the sanitized goop right off her head (which, to cap3, felt like shoving a screwdriver into her eye)

during the inner agent 3 fight, was unconscious, so this was more like a a made-up battle. this 3 (dubbed enigma3) was formed out of cap3's repressed traits of herself and how 8 sees her, rather than being the 3 that 8 saw fight octavio. she's quiet, cold, confusing, and only wants to play mind games with 8. she never really left 8's conscience, but only appears when agent 8 is deathly worried about cap3

after the events of Octo Expansion, 8 absolutely adored marina. they were still a little shy though, so when marina wanted to talk to them they would kind of freak out. marina didn't mind though, and they were able to get to know each other somewhat, with 8 adapting some of marina's traits and behaviors. 8 had nowhere else to go other than sleeping behind crusty sean's food truck and park benches, so pearl let them stay with him and marina for 2 months. after those two months, pearl got in touch with agent 4 via marie (making him fawn all over meeting off the hook) and asked 4 if he could let 8 stay over (since pearl felt like they were watching him in his sleep) and fortunately, 4 said yes

after 8's mind finally clears up they start to question what's wrong with them and feel the weight of overthinking, which sends them spiraling down for the years to come (presumably the effects of tartar messing with their brain). 8 relentlessly questions cap3, rarely leaving her alone, and in turn it affects their relationship with cap3 in a negative way. when asked why they're so curious, 8 goes silent and refuses to answer

(small bit about cap3) cap3 feels like she's at fault for how 8 turned out since they started breaking after OE. she tries to make it up for them but she thinks she's only ruining them. her expectations for herself are set higher and higher, yet nothing she does is good enough. she won't give herself a break, beating herself up over every little detail and being highly critical to the point where she's stuck in a loop of self-destruction and loathing

8 slowly loses their trust in things and those they love, becoming scared and paranoid. it wasn't until side order that this was more prevalent.

in side order (AU), 8 has lost most of their memories, and the moments with the other agents and idols still remain but just barely. 8 is afraid of marina and has a deep dislike for her, but this was due to them not thinking for themself, instead listening to their gut. their brain fog is back more than ever, and whenever they try to walk for prolonged amounts of time they end up stumbling to their knees.

they can no longer tell the difference between reality and fiction. it's all a blur to them. they can feel marina's eyes everywhere. they can barely remember if who or what meant something, anything, to them. though having a deep dislike for marina, they want to be held by her. to be loved like a child. they never ask her of anything, instead just letting it burn into their brain until it breaks them completely. they want attention but they fear they'll be seen as needy and annoying. they want to apologize for everything and be forgiven. 8 doesn't know who is who, they've been copied so much they're just deemed a blank slate to be imprinted on. they watch everything disappear from their hands, unable to do anything about it. from being excited about what's to come in the near future, to being scared about losing the present and wanting to go back to the past

and then here's another little bit about 8 in side order: represents a crumbling mental state, begging for reassurance, desperately trying to hold on to fleeting memories. their trust is lost in everything but they want it all to return to normal, struggling to accept the fact that it never will

then about marina: represents a mother figure somewhat, but even she still fails to live up to that role fully. she distances herself from 8 who is always going after her just to be comforted, yet she denies it for them. she has the same goals as 8, clinging on to the present and never embracing change, but doing so only harms her and others and this behavior continues on and on

+ marina doesn't want to interact with 8 because she sees her younger self in them, she refuses to go back to that era of her life and 8 keeps promising her they'll be what she wanted to be. anything for them to be accepted, to be held in loving arms again. the lack of communication between them makes their relationship even more strained. but clearly marina still cares about 8, they were the only one to be let out of her mind control. she wanted to check on them and make sure they're okay, but what she got in return was someone that hated her

^^ their relationship is basically like this. constantly wanting to communicate with the other but being pushed away, they never fill each other's voids

onto agent 4 and 8... they have a relatively healthy relationship. 4 is 8 (and cap3)'s shoulder to cry on, he always tries his best to help them with whatever. since him and 8 both like off the hook, they'd talk about them non stop. 8 likes to give 4 details about how oth are off-stage since 8 frequently hangs out with them and stuff

4 appears as parallel canon in side order, but instead of other copies of himself, the other robots resemble agent 8 and cap3. they all circle 8 and mock them for forgetting everything about themself and their significant others, much like inner agent 3

nd i don't think i got anything else to say about those 3......that's all^_^ i'm soooo normal i'm normal

[mango-fizz]

ohh yeah im reminded, your pinned is your (very cool) agent headcanons, do you have any for the idols you'd wanna talk about? i'm wondering

i KNOW you gotta have some for Shiver at least

sorry for the late reply ^-^

AAAAAAAAAAAAA ok.

Callie:

Let's address the elephant in the room here let's talk about the Great Splatfest War of 2016. So, obviously, Callie lost. The Squid Sisters Stories permanently changed my brain chemistry fr. Marie doesn't even know how her cousin is doing. She wonders if she hates her. She wonders if maybe it's her fault for winning that they're drifting away. And Callie never gives any indication of how she feels about it. They literally go out to eat together, go shopping and hang out just like old times, and they don't talk about it, cause things are fragile between them, even if they don't realize it, and Callie is fine! Everything is fine. Sure Marie is looking a little more down than usual but she's probably just tired. Everything is fine, Callie is fine. 

Just don't think about how they're too busy to see each other anymore, how they barely talk anymore, how the Splatfest results deems Marie legally better than Callie, how maybe this idol shit isn't really worth it anymore, especially not if it's just going to be Callie, and Marie. They're supposed to be "The Squid Sisters," right? They're in this together, right? But still she says nothing. Because she’s Callie! The happy fun energetic lovable goofball that makes everyone smile! But really she's so sick of it. She's sick of the cameras, and she's sick of people bringing up her loss and she’s sick of feeling jealous of Marie. 

She feels guilty about it, really, how could she feel that way towards her sister? It's not right. She's sick of it, but it's so drilled into her it's like second nature to smile and nod during talk shows, or give the same lighthearted and agreeable response of “Team Callie did their very best, and we’ll get 'em next time! ⭐” But when Octavio offers her a deal, regardless of whether or not she knew she would be hypnotized, she takes it, because she needs an out. And she certainly isn't telling Marie. 

Now this was before, of course. It's not like that anymore. But I'd say she’s still the best at getting into “idol mode” out of all of them, with Shiver as a close second. I have a friend who thinks it's hilarious how quickly I switch from “AARRGHGH FUCKKKKK” to “Well anyway let’s do something else now” in like a second, it's a pretty funny bit imo but like Callie does this professionally. I think she prolly has a lot of pent up anger she likes to release in turf wars with her big ass dynamo lmao. Also she’s older than Marie. 

Marie:

Marie really blames herself for everything lmao. Her fault for winning, her fault for not checking in with Callie, her fault that Octavio broke out and took Callie with him. Maybe she should've been more attentive, more considerate. Maybe she shouldn't have talked to Callie that way, before, maybe she should've appreciated their relationship and let her know how much she cared, how much she loves her. Maybe Callie really does hate her. She would deserve it, honestly. 

I already said most of the Callie v Marie thoughts, so I don't wanna be redundant. They made up and became best friends again yippee! I think maybe Marie is a little Extra attentive to Callie now as a result though.

What else… hmmmmm Marie likes to drink. This is more of an inside joke than a headcanon, but honestly it might be real… oh also, Marie learned to shoot from her grandpa since they both use chargers. According to Callie, Marie can look at spreadsheets for hours without getting tired, and I think that's so sexy. But she's also notoriously bad at keeping a healthy sleep schedule lmao. Coffee. 

I think Marie has generally mellowed out since the whole incident, but it just kinda comes with growing up, yknow? She still definitely keeps her dry sarcastic humor though. Just less mean. She has perhaps like a performatively reluctant soft spot for Deep Cut. She might feel strangely responsible for them as their boss.

Pearl:

I don't acknowledge the splatoon manga but i think Emperor and Prince (Prinz?) being Pearl’s little brothers is so adorable. She thinks they're very cute, whenever they see each other she pinches their cheeks type shit, and they're all “wahh sis you're embarrassing meee” and so on and so forth. Pearl and Marina live together in Pearl’s mansion, yes? Yes. Maybe she likes to spoil Marina with gifts, which she sheepishly accepts. After the events of Octo Expansion, she lets Eight stay with them for a while as she gets her bearings in Inkopolis.  

Marina:

I don't know why but I lk don't really have many hcs about marina idk maybe she's just perfect the way she is. I think she teaches Eight Inklish. Eight probably looks up to her a lot since they have some (pretty important) things in common, and Marina absolutely does not take that fact for granted. She wants to be the best role model she possibly can, not just for Eight but also for any Octoling who escapes the domes.

Frye:

Ok so Frye was raised by her grandpa cause her parents spend most of their time traveling. She has one younger brother and two younger twin sisters. Her grandfather owns a dance school I think? Frye would often skip out on practice. These aren't really hcs they're actually straight up canon I just need to remember wtf is going on lmao

Ok so I think frye is the leader of deep cut

I KNOW I KNOW JUST WAIT LISTEN

I simply think she has leader potential. I'm a really big fan of characters with outwardly laid-back and cheerful personalities being quite terrifying when they get serious. And especially considering Frye’s home life, I think she probably has that grandfatherly wisdom to her yknow what i mean? She'd probably get along pretty well with Cuttlefish somehow,, that would be funny. She comes up with the escape plans for Deep Cut’s raids, she's good at improvising and sticking to her decisions. It’s like driving a car, once you make the decision to change lanes you have to stick to it and you can’t hesitate or else you'll crash. She’s different from Shiver in this aspect, but I’ll get more into that later. And then at the end Shiver and Big Man are all frazzled n shit and Frye is perfectly intact and she's like "See? Told ya it'll be fine!"

I think Frye has the, how do you say, oldest child tendency to become a weird parental figure to their younger siblings? Maybe not quite to that extent, but she definitely feels a certain . Something like that. Maybe. Not like her parents are ever around much either, and her grandpa’s getting old. 

But between bandit stuff and Splatsville duties I imagine it can be kind of difficult to keep up! I actually can’t decide if Deep Cut live in their respective clan estates or if they all move out into a rinky dink apartment to focus on their own things. I mean, their clans are the most important in Splatsville I Assume, right? Like it's probably like a pretty big generational household type shit right? I imagine this is where Deep Cut grew up, but maybe as they matured and decided they would do music (and bandit) stuff they all moved in together? That's sort of what I have in my mind. 

Big Man:

Wait isn't he literally the owner of like a dance school ..? or a music school..? No, it was a dance school. That's so crazy lmao. Kind of hard as fuck. Idk what to write for big man i'm gonna be real. I think he often watches out for the other two cause they tend to be reckless of course. But when it comes to protecting them he would literally do anything. 

This is crazy but he kind of reminds me of Min Yoongi. They're both well known music producers with many collabs under their belt, they're both kind of quiet mellow individuals and care deeply for their band members. Can play many instruments. Highly intelligent . Should BM have a rapper debut. who knows 

Shiver:

Let's get this out of the way first. I am projecting onto shiver every second of the day 24/7 365 even right now as we speak. Not everything, mind you, but certain things. And you'll never know which ones hehehehe 😈

So I think Shiver might have had a pretty strict home life. Now I don't know how she feels about her parents, she's never told me, but what I do think is that she has huge perfectionist habits. Huge. There's not much room for mistakes in her life. She likes to be good at things, and if she's not, then she'll practice and practice and practice until she gets it . Perfectly. Even if it means sacrificing other things, sometimes. She liked pleasing her parents. Good grades, good Stringer skills, good singing, good training with Master Mega. Sometimes it was a little overbearing. Maybe she doesn't want to be perfect all the time. But she has to be, because she's a Hohojiro.

So Shiver was the one most excited about moving out of the clan estates, but somehow I think she manages to keep a good relationship with her parents. Maybe. But still I think she has a lot higher expectations, not just for others but also for herself.

Like I mentioned before, when she's on stage, "the show must go on" is the number one thing. However, off stage, she does have the tendency to get easily frustrated, and she's also very competitive. Sometimes her emotions get the better of her and she can act quite impulsively. 

Shiver had long tentacles when she was younger, then cut them short as an adult.

She's also the youngest sibling. I kind of have the idea that when she was younger she was very uptight and kinda stuffy ? But when she met Frye and Big Man she started opening up more and being more relaxed and outgoing. I think she has so much shark merch.

She definitely likes the attention (and money) she gets from being an idol lmao. I think Shiver is highkey a fr-- [i am dragged off stage]

Now I will link fics I have written that might be relevant Maybe.

thank u for reading im not sure what counts as canon and what counts as hc so i might be missing some things but i did my best to explain what goes on in my brain 😖😖😖 hopefully it makes sense

[mackeralsauce]

'kay gonna rant ab some frustrations (very opinionated) with the cuttletavio community and whatnot. don't like it? move on! more down below:

(TW for mentions of heavy topics and similar. I'm tired of people being uncreative and diluting the ship to 'toxic yaoi yay!!!'. Oh, and mentions of NSFW in passing.)

Oh my fucking god. Can we stop with the boring-ass 'Toxic Old Man Yaoi' bullshit already? It's so overplayed and uncreative.

There's gonna be a lot of people who disagree with my takes in this, and frankly, I don't care! I'm shrimply tired of seeing the same old cycle repeat in this fandom of 'cool big artist or writer ends up making something frankly disgusting with cuttletavio'. I block liberally and whatever so there's your forewarning and whatnot.

Another forewarning is that I am very much autistic and so these issues drive me to this point because I see much more potential in the ship! This is one of my special interests.

Part 1: Toxic Tropes, Abuse, and Everything Inbetween.

Every time I hear about something in this fandom, it's someone making content of Octavio and Craig that involves abuse, homewrecking, non-con, racism, fetishization, or anything else under the shit bucket! Yeah, yeah, people on the internet can have their opinions. It's not inherently bad to represent issues like that, but it's the fact that it is ALWAYS portrayed in a romanticized light! Because let me remind you, this community is for the *ship* between these two characters. Representation of such topics need to be done tastefully. Real people are harmed by shit like that, and spoiler alert! I should fucking know.

There's so much "Craig being racist haha!" jokes from certain groups. That's primarily the fault of the NA translation of Splatoon, but it's still quite irritating. There is much more to his character than just that. Really, is that the ONLY fucking joke you idiots have? Damn. Boring as hell! Not to mention we know from interviews that even nowadays he wished for peace and tries to help any Octarian he comes across... Oh, and I won't name names, but some people just straight up BUTCHER his character. Yuck.

Then there's the portrayal of Octavio. Typically, people outside of the cuttletavio community will end up portraying him as a fascist dictator (gross and wrong). We have the opposite problem here. People straight-up infantilize him, make him woobified, etc. which annoys me quite a bit. I think we forget that, y'know... HE IS A SHOGUN? A COMMANDER? Such a government is going to be militaristic. I'm not saying that he's evil, but making him out to be an innocent 'widdol guy' is just. Eugh. Not to mention this is usually done because of headcanons involving him to be trans. I love Trans Octavio headcanons! But I hate the overfeminization and overtwinkification of him. Let him be strong and trans, is that so hard?

And these topics are the small potatas. My biggest gripe is when people make their ship to be just 'toxic yaoi' and bluh bluh boring. Look, I get it, there's people who eat that slop up. Whatever floats your boat. But holy FUCK the amount of straight-up garbage and romanticization and lack of creativity I see...

Part 2: Missed Potential and Lack of Creativity.

Oh my fucking god. We have this one ship between two queer adults who grow to old age, and you guys can't even let it be healthy? Yes, I get there was war, but it doesn't mean they were fucking toxic when they were dating. Whatever your interpretation is, you don't have to make them cruel, horrible people to each other. Even if your interpretation involves them being morally grey or complex characters, you can make them have flaws without making them abusers.

Let me explain this: Romance is very, very complicated. It's not all sex, and it's not all fluff either. Most interpretations I see of cuttletavio are often 'All or Nothing' on certain factors. The three popular topics people put their stocks in are Angst, Sex, and Fluff. This is expected in fandom, but what bothers me is that so few people actually consider the alternatives, and that its usually ALL of one trait without anything else. Angst for the purpose of just angst doesn't hit, it's just edgy and boring. All smut with no love will wear thin. Tooth-rotting fluff has no substance if you don't even show the platonic side of their relationship. A good romance is oft built on a good friendship. Why not delve into those aspects? If you need them to kiss to tell they're in love, then you're doing it wrong.

Of course, that critique is moreso a small one. Beginner writers can easily fall into those and that's alright. Why it bothers me is because there is such a drought of good content- at least from my scope of view thus far- in cuttletavio. There is potential for greatness (and I am not slacking on trying to showcase this; I am working on my own content in the meantime), but hardly anyone delves into it. Why not explore how they got to know each other? The complexities of their characters? Tropes are alright, but get to a deeper level, and find the human within the idea. Not only that, but explore the world they're in! The circumstances of why they're in war! The politics, the governments, and the cultures of the time. These are old men in a fictional post-apocalyptic society devoid of humans. The inkfish could have evolved culturally in completely different ways! Please, just explore SOMETHING!

Y'wanna know why the whole toxic yaoi shit bothers me so much? Because it lacks creativity. It's overdone. Stale bread. It's like the slop they serve in a school cafeteria. You can get toxic yaoi ANYWHERE! It's such a common, overplayed trope for mlm ships, that you'll never go devoid of it. So why make cuttletavio into it? I haven't seen anything creative enough to excuse it. All i've seen is people committing character assassination and stripping them of any of their intrigue or humanity. It's bland. I'm sick of it.

Conclusion.

I'm too exhausted to write any more of this but yeagh. Just sick of this shit. There is potential to these two old men, both in their youthful and elderly years. Let them make love, war, friendship, and peace. Don't reduce them to poor dollar-a-dime toxic yaoi tropes that have become tired and sloppy from years of poorly written BL and similar.

If you can't write/draw/etc. good romance or sex without making them abusive in ANY way (cheating, non-con, physically, emotionally, etc.) then you need to learn how to write complex characters and complex stories. You can have characters argue without it being abuse. You can have complicated dynamics without all that.

[bigblueoctoling]

Side Order Observations about Eight

Just a sort of nonspecific collection of thoughts about Eight (and some of Acht) in Side Order.

So, for starters, I feel that a lot of people are not fully taking advantage of the angst-fuel given to us here. A lot of people write it as though Eight is Suffering throughout the majority of this adventure, but that's not entirely accurate, I feel, to how Eight is characterized.

Going off of Eight's memcakes from Octo Expansion, Eight is someone who finds a lot of comfort in feeling powerful. She cites the usual casual play of turf war as something desirable, she finds comfort in using a charger. If anything, I feel that one of the reasons Eight was chosen by Marina to test this software was because of her affinity for combat- Marina assumes that the tower would even be too easy for her.

That being said, Eight surely felt a lot more anxious in particular about the present dangers early in the run- in particular, terrified of something bad happening to Marina. I sort of see Marina as a sort of maternal figure to Eight- I'd always pictured Marina and Pearl just sort of taking Eight home with them, I'm sure their mansion is big enough, and the fact that they take Eight along with them on the world tour kind of supports this idea. Probably the worst thing to threaten Eight with is threatening to hurt Marina. Or Pearl, of course, but especially Marina, given her nature.

I can imagine, of course, that Order is also an upsettingly familiar threat, but it likely wasn't as upsetting (until the Greyscaling) as seeing Marina in actual danger was.

But the piece of the story that I feel most people aren't acknowledging is the fact that Eight's palette- her soul- is so blatantly different, in function and in appearance, than everyone else's. That it calls back memories of the deepsea metro. Can you imagine what she must feel that says about her? How much more difficult her soul is to work with than anyone else's, even Octavio's.

There's a lot to work with, I feel, with Eight's palette. Feelings of inadequacy. Eight struggling a lot more with her palette than anyone else's; the fear that she might never be able to complete it? The trauma of being brought back mentally to deepsea metro. The whole locker situation there.

Worse yet, what about when she does complete it? Sure, one can assume Eight did get her memories back and she just doesn't say anything because she's Eight, and there's plenty to work with there- But what if it just doesn't do anything? Feeling guilt that it's her fault, because of her fucked up soul- and either way, not wanting to tell Marina this, because you've all worked so hard for this, and after everything, Eight just wants Marina to relax and be happy, but she can't deny the frustration of not knowing. Or the fear. Why doesn't this work for her? Why is she broken?

Or to tie the previous theory of Eight being a clone of Acht into this, why does Eight's palette unlock notes from Acht? Eight already struggles to know who she is- is she Acht? Somehow? Why doesn't she have her own memories? What does Acht know? What if she were to ask Acht, but they didn't know either?

Or to turn things around to Acht's perspective, imagine the fact that your palette is unaccounted for, you find Eight's, and Eight's starts unlocking your memories? All of the fuzzy spots in your memory start to be concerning. They can't help but compare themselves to Eight, what a disappointment to end up being chained onto you of all people when she's such an incredible person. Maybe you're the reason their soul is broken, somehow.

Also, I didn't mention this in my other post- I've headcanoned for some time that Eight deeply prefers being called Eight, and not 'Agent 8'; discomfort in being referred to as one in a series of numbers, discomfort with the association with the squidbeak splatoon, and so forth- it means the world to me that that's somehow canonical. It was an unreal moment to discover that. It makes me very happy that Eight properly uses Eight as her name.

[best-fictional-band-poll]

THIS IS THE OLD SUBMISSIONS POST. UP TO DATE SUBMISSIONS CAN BE FOUND HERE

Sorted alphabetically by band. Please click through to original post to see full list. IF IT'S NOT ON THE LIST, PLEASE SUBMIT IT. NO BAND IS TOO NICHE. Multiple bands from the same media are permitted.

Putting this under the cut because it's getting too long!

0-9

4*town - Turning Red

A

About Gardens - ROGUEMAKER

The Ark - I Was Born For This

ABXY - Splatoon

Arno van Eyck - Disco Elysium

B

The Band With Rocks In It - Discworld

The Beets - Doug

The Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton - The Mountain Goats

The Bettys - Phineas and Ferb

Black Stones (BLAST) - NANA

The Blues Brothers - The Blues Brothers

Bottom Feeders - Splatoon

Boys In The Sink - Veggietales

Boys Who Cry - Spongebob Squarepants

Boyz4Now - Bob's Burgers

Boyz 12 - American Dad

Bunk Bed Junction - No Straight Roads

C

Cheetah Girls - Cheetah Girls

The Clash At Demonhead - Scott Pilgrim 

The Covey - Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Crash & The Boys - Scott Pilgrim

D

Daisy Jones & The Six - Daisy Jones & The Six

Damp Socks - Splatoon

De Bois Band - & Juliet

Deep cut - Splatoon

DETHKLOK - Metalocalypse

Dedf1sh - Splatoon

Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros - Space Opera 

Dingoes Ate My Baby - Buffy The Vampire Slayer

DJ Octavio - Splatoon

DJ Stylbator - Samurai Jack

Dr Teeth and The Electric Mayhem - The Muppets 

Drive Shaft - LOST

E

Evar Orbus & The Galactic Jizz-Wailers/The Max Rebo Band - Star Wars

F

Fig and the Cig Figs - Dimension 20 Fantasy High

The Flaming Creatures - Velvet Goldmine

Fran-Shou-Shou - Zombie Land Saga

G

Gallifrey Academy Hot Five - Doctor Who 

Gem & The Scotts - Secret Life SMP

Gillion & The Tidestriders - Just Roll With It

Girls Dead Monster - Angel Beats

Gorillaz - Gorillaz

Grifters Bone - Magnus Archives 

H

Hatsune Miku - Vocaloid

Heaven Seventeen - A Clockwork Orange

The Hectic Glow - The Fault In Our Stars

Hex Girls - Scooby Doo

I

Ink Theory - Splatoon

J

Jem & The Holograms - Jem & The Holograms

Johnny Casino and The Gamblers - Grease

Josie & The Pussycats - Archie (Comic)

The Juicy Fruits - Phantom of the Paradise

Julie and the Phantoms - Julie and the Phantoms

K

Kessoku Band - Bocchi the Rock

Killer Boy Rats - Horrid Henry

The Killjoys - My Chemical Romance

L

Lacus Clyne - Mobile Suit Gundam Seed

Lady Parts - We Are Lady Parts

The Last Days - The Last Days

Lemonade Mouth - Lemonade Mouth

Leningrad Cowboys - Leningrad Cowboys

Lincoln Hawk - Gossip Girl

Little White Lie - Little White Lie

Loded Diper - Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Love Burger - Can't Hardly Wait

Love Händel - Phineas and Ferb

LumberZacks - Milo Murphy's Law 

M

Mad Gear & The Missile Kid - Danger Days, My Chemical Romance

Maxwell Demon & The Venus In Furs - Velvet Goldmine

The Mechanisms - The Mechanisms 

Milkcan - Um Jammer Lammy

The Misfits - Jem & The Holograms

Muppet Orchestra - The Muppets 

N 

Needy Beast - Hatchetfield

O

Octoplush - Splatoon

Old Gods of Asgard - Alan Wake

ok, kids - Andre and Karl

Off The Hook - Splatoon

P

Pink Slip - Freaky Friday

Plasmagica - Show By Rock

Proto Zoa - Zenon Sweep 

R

The Rainbooms - Equestria Girls

The Rats - Velvet Goldmine

RIP - Ruby Gloom

The Risky Fix-Ins - Buzzfeed Unsolved Franchise

The Rutles - All You Need Is Cash

S

Sadie-Killer & The Suspects - Steven Universe

Sadgasm - The Simpsons

SCÄB - Home Movies

Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles

Sev'ral Timez - Gravity Falls

Sex Bob-omb - Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Sing Street - Sing Street 

Soundcheck - Odd Squad

Spinal Tap - This Is Spinal Tap

Squid Sisters - Splatoon

Squid Squad - Splatoon

The Stiff Dylans - Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging 

Sunset Curve - Julie and the Phantoms

The Superconducting Supercolliders - Designations Congruent With Things (Pacific Rim fanfiction)

T

The Three Lights - Sailor Moon

Trapnest - NANA

Turquoise October - Splatoon

V

The Vampire Lestat - The Vampire Chronicles

W

Wonderlands x Showtime - Hatsune Miku Colourful Stage/Vocaloid

The Wonders - That Thing You Do

Wyld Stallyns - Bill & Ted franchise

Wet Floor - Splatoon

w-3 (omega-3) - Splatoon

Y

Yoko & the Gold Bazookas - Splatoon

Z

Ziggy Stardust & The Spiders From Mars - David Bowie

[seffien]

au #3: space

it's gone.

it's all gone.

those are 3's immediate thoughts as they float through space with hugefry and dj octavio. their next thoughts are:

you failed.

grizz has sacrificed himself to bring his dream to life, taking out everyone else in the process. as the continents and ocean slowly become fuzz and ooze before their eyes, the planet get smaller.

they're floating away.

dj octavio hesitates to speak up but does eventually.

"That's it," he said, sounding nonchalant.

Three nodded, tears pricking their eyes.

hugefry sees how sad they are and tries to float over to them.

Before them was their smallfry, now significantly bigger than the pocket-sized little buddy they knew. It found a way to move itself toward them, and Three's fingers were able to grip its scales and hold onto it.

Though its gurgling voice was weak, it was also reassuring.

dj octavio also takes notice of three's upset.

"Kid."

Three looked to their left.

"You feelin' alright? You haven't said a single word since we ended up here."

"I..." The memory returned, and so did the tears. "No, I'm not! Everyone's dead and it's all my fault! I—"

"It's not your fault," Octavio interrupted. "It was just..." He looked at Earth. It was almost entirely covered in Fuzzy Ooze. "It was just a mistake. Kids make those all the time, y'know?"

Three understood, but they didn't feel any better.

octavio makes a confession.

"'Least you ain't me," he lamented. "I never got to say sorry, n' I don't think I'll be doing so anytime soon."

Shards of his windshield, broken from the blast, flew past them. Looking ahead, their home was getting smaller and smaller, and it wasn't their home anymore.

it gets colder.

"You cold?"

"A . . . a little, yeah, but that's normal in space. Were you ever taught about what it'd be like up here?"

"Gyah-hah-hah!" he cackled. "No, no, I don't think I was. Our ancestors just used it to find their way around the ocean before the sea levels dropped. That was the extent of my knowledge."

"What's changed?"

"Now I know the stars are beautiful."

they know they won't last long.

"Where will we go from here?"

Three swallowed.

"Well, it'll be...a nice place. Yeah! A-A nice place where inklings and octolings live in harmony forever!"

Octavio cackled again, louder this time. "You're just pulling my leg, aren't you, kid?

Three laughed with him, but their laughter was short lived.

"Just one question."

"Hm?"

"Will I...get to say sorry to them? With all I've done, I feel like I have to."

"You will," Three assured, "and they'll all forgive you."

octavio says one more thing to three.

"I'm sorry, then. I'm gettin' a bit tired now, so I figured I'd tell you this before I drifted off." His eyes were mournful now. "Goodnight, kid. I'm glad we talked."

"Goodnight."

three won't prolong the inevitable if it means they'll be all alone.

While leaning against it, they heard their Smallfry's voice.

You know, Three understood through its gurgles, we won't make it either. It may be too late to go back. I'm...scared.

"I know you are, but we'll go, and we'll go together."

That...

Their eyes met. Though Smallfry's were worried, they began to feel a bit at ease.

That's nice...

Three looked back at Earth one more time, tears forming in their eyes, before taking off their helmet.

"Goodnight, little buddy."

Goodnight.

"I'll see you again soon."

[space-woomy]

*throws pan at your head*

talk about it

please...

AUUUGH-

Okaysssssss Mooty

Basically the whole villain 4 stuff happens because Callie dies in Splat 2. Marie's low tide ink doesn't work, and agent 4 ends up using g the rainmaker, which really fucks up octavios robot...a bit too much... it explodes, and Callie ends up dieing in Fours arms.

Everyone's sad, and it hits Four the hardest. She believes that it's her fault entirely, and she quits the NSS. She eventually starts doing Grizzco jobs to distract herself. She realizes that "Ah fuck, this is like, genocide or whatever because this is a sentient species and all that." But continues anyways. She eventually makes her way up to the upperanks and meets Mr. Grizz (either through promotions or a some kinda coincidence or whatever). After a special interview, Grizz is like "wanna help me bring back Mammals? You seem like you hate the world." And Alex (4) is like "yeah. Yeah this world fucking sucks. We're obsessed with fashion, world ending threats happen every day, whole species is trapped underground, YOU'RE literally running a genocide company...fuck it, why not? I hate everyone." And they decide to help grizz with his mission.

O.E happens at the same time as this, and it plays out as it does in the games. Eight moves in with Alex, and she shows her around inkopolis and how to live in the city. Eight can practically taste all the nihilism and edge coming from her, but she sees the kindness and joy in her, and wants to pry it out of the shell of hopelessness.

Molly (3) also becomes friends with Alex, and gets a bit closer to her than 8 does. But the still has a shell up, and they still try to break through...

But before they can do that, the world tour happens! And she goes with Pearl and Marina. Alex also takes part in the memverse, with a piece of her soul getting trapped just like the game.

Now, return of the mammalians is going on, and it's all the same, except there is no Mr. Grizz...instead, there's a masked inkling that's at the top of the tower!!! Neo is able to hold them off until Cap (3) gets there, and they run away. In the end, they're able to stop the rocket from launching in the first place and they destroy it.

S.O starts more towards the end of ROTM, and ends well after it. And when 8 gets out, she can't find anyone belonging to the NSS. They've disappeared. She finds clues to go into the Grizzco headquarters. When she gets there, she finds Alex, having captured everyone in the NSS. Marie, Craig, Molly, and Neo are all tied up. Theyre all very bruised and beaten up too. There's also a big plush doll thing of Callie. Button eyes and everything.

Alex is fucking insane right now. They're all cocky and are acting like a typical Villain type. (Think Will Wood's "Main character" for this...thats...honestly what this entire thing spawned from...) and they fight eachother. There are MANY fuzzy octolings that they're fighting as well, and Alex is very dodgy and swift with fighting. It's revealed that their plan is to cover the world with fuzzy ooze with like, 12 rockets. The one in alterna was a test one.

Alex at this point has completely given up on everything, and thinks of herself as a "hero" in a twisted way. She's saving the world by destroying it, a big reset on everyone. Alex is all cocky and shit too, and is constantly talking and mocking them all. 8 eventually frees them all, but She's out if commission for a bit, and Molly steps up to take on Alex. Alex, frustrated with not being able to beat 8, has an idea. They basically Inject fuzzy ooze directly into herself, and gains claws, sharp teeth, heightend senses, she becomes digitigrade, and is stronger overall.

Now...there are 2 ways that this story goes........

""BAD"" ENDING

Molly and Alex fight, it's intense, and Molly is struggling. Alex is screaming and yelling shit like "YOU WERE ALWAYS THE BETTER AGENT WERENT YOU?!?! HUH!?!? LOOK AT YOU KNOW!!!! CANT EVEN STAND UP TO AN INFERIOUR AGENT" and "COME ON "LIVING TSUNAMI"! COME SPLAT ME!!!"

and Molly is like "...fuck dude...I really wish I talked to you more...man I Hate seeing you like this.. please...you were never the worst...why did this happen" in their head.

It ends up with Alex getting a chainsaw, and tackling Molly to the ground. She trys to push it into them, and manages to really fuck up their arm a bit, but Molly gets the strength to push it back...and gets Alex right in the neck...

She lives for a single second, with a smile on their face...and a single tear running down their face...

Molly and 8 now have double trauma. Yaaaaay!!!!!!!

Marie has even more trauma to!!!!!!

All of them do!!!!!

They stop grizzco, but they're not in that good of a mood for celebration...

(Also, I say "bad" ending because it's, like, a negative ending more like. A non-ideal ending really. I don't like "good" and "bad" endings or whatever...)

"GOOD" ENDING

Same shit happens, except Alex ends up breaking down more in the middle of the fight. She says more stuff that's more like her telling the truth about how she feels, instead of just taunting. At one point, Molly tackles her into a hug and says "Alex, it wasn't your fault! Inkopolis wouldve been attacked if you didn't stop them! Please! Callie wouldnt be mad at you!!!"

Alex breaks out, and they fight some more. Three's arm still gets fucked up, but Alex drops the chainsaw, and she dosent die!!! Yay :D!!!!!!

But she's got so much bottled up and fucked up trauma that they become physically ill afterwards. They beet grizz, and Fours recovery starts.

I've gotten all of this from Will Woods "Main character"

I keep imagining an animatic to the song where 8 and 4 fight with "main character"

And another one which is only the lyric portion of "Silly billy" from that hit single fnf mod. Those lyrics are F I R E

Thank you for hitting me with the pan AAAANDNSNFKFKKDNDNFBRBRNGLSLGJNRNSLALAKCNCNC. XBDJDJFJT9RIEIOEKSJELWLRJNFNFKVPXLABEBTKCKSNRNTJFHDHJFNFNFKGOGJVEAKFIJSHWMXNCNSHWI

If anyone has any questions, please ask!!!

[lezzieline]

since people absolutely love to ignore how Ajay’s parents abuse also effect her actions, and how Octavio’s actions prompt her REactions, i’ve decided to dedicate a whole rant about it TL;DR AT THE BOTTOM

(i’m the only one that sees her entire character istg)

#1 if Octavio is gonna act like an idiotic, reckless child, then he is going to be treated like one.

ITS NOT INHERENTLY HIS FAULT!!!! but Ajay is not aware of that!! And she’s not obligated to put up with his reckless and compulsive actions! She, before season 12, had barely ever brought up his reckless behavior, and how little he returned her support and care.

Octavio’s actions are his own, yes he was being manipulated by Torres, but Ajay didn’t see it that way, and chose to call him out.

DONT SAY THIS IS WRONG OF HER, BECAUSE OCTAVIO HAD HIS OWN VIEW, and it was “she’s not understanding, because she thinks i’m an idiot”

#2, Octavio owes more to her than any of you seem to acknowledge.

She has been Octavio’s personal doctor and therapist for YEARS. FUCKINgYEARS!!!! If someone who BARELY EVER SUPPORTED me ever were to try and fuck up my mission to stop a terrorist, then i wouldn’t THINK OR EMPATHIZE, i’d??? question?????

The one or two good things Octavio has done for Ajay has kept her putting up with him for their whole friendship, the one time she’s on a breaking point and yells at him is the time she gets perceived as a fucking monster

#3, HE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH TRAUMA THAT AFFECTS HIS ACTIONS??????????????????????

ARE PEOPLE FORGETTING WHEN AJAY LITERALLY ABANDONED HOME FEELING BETRAYED, WAS IN THE FRONTLINES ON A BATTLEFIELD, AND REALIZED THE WEAPONS BEING USED TO HURT INNOCENTS AND HER FRIENDS WERE LITERALLY BEING MADE BY HER PARENTS????

Like, imagine growing up around people who you thought were good DESPITE THEIR ABUSE TO YOU, then finding out they’re MONSTERS??? AND ALMOST BEING KILLED BY TECH THEY MADE?????

Nd people are surprised when she wants people like her parents, like TORRES, to not be put in high positions of power???????

OH WAIR AND NOT TO MENTION OCTAVIO’S ACTIONS INDIRECTLY LED AJAY’S MOM TO TAKE OVER THE CHARITY GROUP AJAY WORKS TIRELESSLY TO FUND????1?/!4!(!;?2!-&@-@/2@

Cherisse “Stereotypical emotionless abuser” Che is now the president of her daughters entire passion and has made it into something completely different??? do u not think Ajay’s going to hold a little resentment to all parties involved???

AND FINALLY, #4, SHE AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGES HER FUCKED UP ACTIONS.

Octavio denies his dads damage to the outlands, denies that Torres is a terrible person, denies that he did something wrong

ONCE AGAIN, this is because of his manipulation and need for attention, BUT AJAY!!! DOESNT!!!!! SEE THAT!!!!!!

HOW IS SHE SUPPOSED TO SYMPATHIZE WITH SOEMTHINF SHES COMPLETELY IGNROANT TO!1!1!!1!1!1!

At least Ajay has the balls to say “hey, planting the foot is fucked up, i’m aware it’s fucked up, and i’m sorry i’m doing it, but i have to.” she quite literally is only doing this so that she can get a terrorist from having his hands on a planetary system, and to get HER BROTHER BACK.

i don’t even think she cares whether or not Tavi is still friends with her after this, she just cares that he sees Torres for who he really is, and gets out of his situation.

(Also a side rant, i’m aware that Octane doesn’t want to kill Torres because that’s his “dad”, and i’m aware that Ajay technically did the same thing with her mom, but there’s a difference between 20 yr old Ajay who’s still probably processing her whole situation, not wanting to see her mom killed right in front of her, and in front of a bunch of CHILDREN… vs 25 yr old Octavio “Octane” Silva actively preventing a war criminal from taking a throne of power over multiple planets because he heard an audio tape.) [that’s dumbing down Torres’ manipulation but Octane biases haven’t given me any reason to not be jaded] {{i’ve lost sleep over this}} (((also do u not think she considered that if her lil bf tried to fire that bullet then the soldiers and killer attack drones would’ve killed everyone there ?????)))

TL;DR BOTH OCTAVIO AND AJAY ARE FUCKED UP, SHES BETRAYING AND USING HER BESTIE FOR INFO AFTER HE PUT HIS TRUST IN HER AND HE GAVE IP THE WNTIRE PLANETARY SYSTEM TO A CARTOONISHLY EVIL MAN

AJAY ALSO HAS TRAUMA THAT INFLUENCES HER, STOP PRETENDING SHE DOESNT

No Ajay isn’t “more fucked up” than him, i’m not debating this.

oh my god stop comparing her to Duardo his physical mental and emotional abuse could never equate to her calling octane stupid and making him try to see the impact of his actions

also notice how i didn’t put any main octanes tags here bc i’m not an asshole and won’t show people criticism of their comfort characters unprompted omegalol

love u goodbye THIS ISNT OCTANE HATE I LOVE OCTANE AND LIFELINE EQUALLY AND HOW MORALLY IFFY THEY ARE

octane stans please don’t bite me but do please respectfully debate me i lauv talking and bantering abt these two

[receding-tides]

train, sparkle, droplet, paperclip

(3) (these were all for margin(

I'll put these all in one post for convenience haha but ty for sending a bunch :] I'm glad we have Margin Likers around that's my blorbopus right there

👁️ EYE - what colour are their eyes? do people notice their eyes? is there anything special about them (shows emotion easily, literally magical...)? Margin has blue eyes w the scleras being slightly green tinted, aka Octavio but less intense. She also has the purple striped mask which is the main thing people notice. There isn't anything particularly special about them but her irises do turn red when she uses her venom (I don't have a biological explanation for this it just looks cool)

💤 SLEEPING - do they fall asleep easily? what helps them sleep? Margin has a very specific sleep schedule which she retained even after moving to the surface and then to Splatsville so I think she is one of those people who can just like Fall Asleep On Command almost haha. If she is awake after 10pm she gets so tired. I don't rly have an answer for the second question I guess just not being anywhere loud

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it? Margin's birthday is May 9th which is the date I started writing At Sixes and Sevens, I don't think she celebrates it or even tells other people about it though

🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast? She eats plain buttered toast for breakfast every day this is like, a specific character trait she has. Somehow.

🌺 HIBISCUS - do they have any allergies? I don't think she has any particularly strong allergies but I think pretty much any of the octolings who grew up in the domes probably get hayfever simply because their body isn't adjusted to Lots Of Pollen In The Air (and maybe some other things also along that logic)

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them? I have a lot of songs I associate w her but the Strongest song lyrics is probably just. the first verse of Ready As I'll Ever Be (from Tangled The Series) but specifically before her character development moment

Believe me I know, I've sunk pretty low But whatever I've done, you deserved I'm the bad guy, that's fine It's no fault of mine and some justice at last will be served

🎨 PALETTE - can they draw? what do they like to draw? (I'm assuming this is what drawing meant because I can't find one w that name otherwise) Margin can sort of draw but mostly just in the case of Making Diagrams. she has made doodles of Squidgy before but will claim it was purely for documentation / scientific purposes.

🪤 MOUSE TRAP - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for? This will sound very cliché but if you make Margin think she is doing the right thing / something fully justified and she feels strongly about it she will gladly throw herself into a dangerous situation over it. This definitely happens less as she gets older tho

🚆 TRAIN - what is their answer to the trolley problem? I think she would do the trolley hits one person instead of five but also I guess it'd depend who the one person was lol. If it's all misc strangers then goodbye to that one guy

❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value? Margin doesn't really have many possessions besides like, her bike and the Sharker and whatever is in her room, she values things that are Useful To Her and that's about it. She has a lot of miscellaneous junk from the crater but most of it is either for selling or might be useful for building

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon She frequently has nightmares about drowning even though she was never conscious during the one time where she did almost drown

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact. Her splashtag looks like this :] (link to the splashtag creator)

[therandomfaebean]

alright so I go on Tumblr and all of a sudden my fics are getting attention my queer posts are getting attention and I'm carrying the a huge chunk of the DJ Octavio x reader fanfiction community now? Whose fault is this?? JK y'all are awesome thanks for the truckload of support. Fictional fish men fic-a-plenty is dropping tonight.

[banditchika]

How A Dream Comes True - Ch 1

read here on ao3!

Pearl comes to a decision within two minutes of meeting King Octavio—the first of his name, sole ruler of Octaria, the genius behind Octaria’s military might!

The dude is kind of a dick.

"Ayo, man,” she says, holding up a gauntleted hand. “I’ve heard just about enough.” 

His big, bad royal highness stops mid-rant. It's probably more out of pure shock than actual courtesy, but Pearl will take it. The guards standing in neat rows along the walls mirror Octavio’s sudden silence. They’re all too serious to do something as unprofessional as gasp, but their surprise at her interruption fills the grand, cavernous hall like a miasma—just like her childhood bodyguards, come to think of it. Little squiddy Pearl used to make a game of doing the most outrageous things she could, to see if they would break character and react. Good to see she's still got it. 

King Octavio trembles atop his throne, tentacles curling around his wasabi-shaped scepters. Pearl loves a good accessory, everyone knows that, but seriously—why does he need two? 

"You dare speak as such to a king? You dare!?"

"Uh, yeah?” Pearl makes a show of picking at her fingers, all ten digits safely ensconced in her gauntlets and padded gloves. Her nonchalant act makes Octavio turn an even brighter shade of fuschia. “I've got a grievance, and you’ve as good as admitted it's all your fault! I don’t care what’s going on in your country, your policy decisions are screwin’ me over! You gotta stop kickin’ your citizens out onto my family property. We’re running outta places to house ‘em!”

“Exile is a mercy for traitors to the crown—” 

“You tellin' me you’ve got two hundred wholeass traitors you just had to kick out of your kingdom?” What happened to community service? Picking up trash, walking centennials through the market square—does Octaria not do that? “That's how many we counted before I left. Who knows how many more have moved in since! I don't know what's got y’all all outta whack, but you need to put your house in order. You're throwin' people out of their homes and now they're trespassin' on mine!"

"I will not accept this audacity from an inkling child!" the king roars. His voice echoes through the hall. Pearl swears she sees a small shower of debris fall from the ceilings. She would easily win a shouting match between the two of them, but he's still got quite a set of pipes. "You have no notion of the treachery that has beset this kingdom, none! Indolent, selfish inklings, never looking past your own affairs until you see fit to meddle in things you have no business sticking your beak into—"

"It becomes my business when yours have turned my house into a wholeass refugee camp!" Pearl throws her hands into the air and stomps closer. The royal guards surrounding Octavio’s throne step forward in unison, hands straying to the hilts of their blades. She resists a groan. Seriously? They’re still backing his ass, after everything he’s done?

Pearl’s the good guy here! She’s trying to help the dude’s own people get back to their homes! It’s not like Pearl has anything against the displaced Octarians squatting at her place. But even though she won’t kick out a bunch of desperate people with nowhere to go, even the Houzuki family estate can only hold so many people. How long can they reasonably keep two hundred plus people fed, watered, and most importantly, entertained? 

No. No way. Not even her family’s money can manage that if King Octavio keeps kicking people out of their own land willy nilly. 

Fuming, Pearl jabs a finger at Octavio’s furious octopus face. "And I’m no kid. I’m twenty-one!”

She realizes her mistake as soon as she says it. 

The king leans forward, a bloodshark scenting weakness, his ancient poison-green eyes glinting with malice. "And here I thought I was dealing with a fifteen-year old brat. It wouldn’t be the first time. If there's anything your ridiculous, foolhardy coming-of-age tradition is good for, it's sifting out the scum who can't crack it in your excuse of a society. Why should I entertain someone three years over the age of majority, who hasn't even killed—what are you children doing nowadays, testing yourselves against Salmonids? You hardly look fit enough to fight a Chum. What a waste of time. Guards! Deal with her." 

As one, the guards arranged along the walls and King Octavio’s throne advance toward Pearl with their katanas drawn. She slowly backs away from the ring of encroaching soldiers and their snarling masks. She can't help the way her voice pitches loud with alarm, or the rain of plaster and dust that trickles from the ceiling as her voice fills the hall. 

"Okay, firstly, way to get personal! Secondly—hey, guys, come on. We don't have to do this." Damn, but those masks are intimidating. Cool as shell, too. Pearl kind of wants one. "You know I'm right. All the folks hangin' out at my place, they're your brothers and sisters and shit. You want ‘em back as much as they want to be back, don’tcha? Can’t we talk this out?" 

The guards keep coming. Pearl takes a step back, then another, until she can go no further. 

Her hip bumps into the great banquet table in the center of the hall. Nowhere left to run. 

"Alright, so that's a no?" She reaches behind her, armored hand closing around something nice and heavy. "Fine. At least I tried."

Pearl whips her arm forward, launching—is that a whole roasted Chum?—into the face of the lead guard. "BOOYAH, bitch!"

The thing about Pearl is—she's short. That's undeniable. She's given up on being mad about it. It is what it is, and angsting isn't going to activate Gam-Gam Houzuki's dormant colossal squid genes. But being short doesn't mean being weak, and what Pearl lacks in height she makes up for in mad dirty tactics. 

Yeah, she read Sunfish Tzu. If there's anything Pearl's learned from her travels, it's that squids under five feet need to make do.

The guard who Pearl just introduced to authentic Salmonid cuisine stumbles back into their friends, sending them staggering. Pearl takes full advantage of the confusion and scrambles atop the table. The whole thing is lined with lit candles and far too many plates for one octopus alone. Was Octavio expecting guests?

Pearl doesn’t have time to consider it. She dances out of the way of a guard’s slash, the katana’s edge biting deep into the table’s varnished surface. One hand scoops up an open carafe while the other gropes for a candelabra. Pearl brings the jug to her nose and takes a sniff. Oh, that’s strong. Tip the flame into the jug, and—

"Catch!"

Pearl lobs the flaming bottle at the guards' feet. They scatter, breaking their tight formation to dodge Pearl's boozy little surprise. They probably don't realize that a makeshift fire bomb like Pearl’s burns itself out quickly, and she laughs as they try to stomp out the flames.

(What? It's not like she's trying to seriously hurt anyone.)

A pair of rock-solid arms close around her from behind. Pearl snarls as she's yanked back, pinned against the lacquered armor of an Octarian soldier. Flanked! Like a total chump! 

"Geddoff—" The soldier locks their arms together, throwing Pearl off balance. Her back dangles precariously over their shoulders. The awkward angle doesn’t give her any openings to throw an elbow or a sneaky kick. 

Fine. So what? She's the one in full metal plate. 

Pearl pushes off the table and into the octoling. The soldier, unprepared to take Pearl's full weight, is yanked back by her momentum and tips over, collapsing with a thud. Pearl is nice enough to avoid landing on their prone body, but not nice enough to keep from smacking their masked face as she rolls back onto her feet. They're armored, she's armored, so full contact is a-okay. 

Unfortunately, their scuffle has bought the other guards enough time to regroup. It's hard to tell with their faces hidden behind their headpieces, but she thinks she's managed to intimidate them. Their stances are cautious as they begin to close in on her. 

Four guards break off to the two ends of the table. The remaining four approach head on, cutting off Pearl's chances of jumping back onto the table or sliding under it. She grins at them. It's nice to be taken seriously. 

There's only one thing to do. Pearl grabs the edge of the table and heaves, arms screaming under the weight.

Come on, think angry thoughts. 

Littering. 

People who whip their seahorses. 

Bank bailouts. 

All the people who will never get to come home again if you don't do this right.

"Fuck!" she howls, and flips the enormous banquet table onto the advancing soldiers. Pearl is lucky the damned thing is so long, because the two pairs of Octolings trying to cut off her escape routes haven't even made it out from behind the main length of the table. The entire squadron topples under the weight of wood, steel, and more food than one octopus with no guests needs to eat. 

The noise of shattering cookware and crashing armor is solid, absolute, and so consuming that the grand hall is a vacuum of sound once the last plate has clattered to the floor. 

Pearl stands panting over a pile of groaning octolings. Her fingers twitch with lingering adrenaline, and a huge, unsportsman-like smirk stretches across her face. Her family isn’t going to believe her when she tells them about this.

“Phew. What a workout… Alright, man,” she says, turning to Octavio. “Can we talk like adults now?”

The king stares her down. “Yes, we can.” 

Pearl’s skin prickles. Octavio looks awfully calm for someone whose guards have been dealt with. 

The painted wooden panels behind his throne collapse like falling cards, revealing a fresh troop of soldiers. Each and every one is armed with crossbows. The mechanisms are locked, bolts bristling at their tips, all of them trained at Pearl. 

“Go ahead. What else do you want to say, shark bait?”

Pearl slowly puts her hands up. Her mind races, then stutters. Fuck. Fuck, fuck! 

There’s nowhere to run for cover, and even if she tried, there’s just too many guards with too many arrows. They wouldn’t even need to aim. All they’d need to do is fire, and Pearl would end her life looking like the pincushion from Gam-Gam’s sewing kit. 

"GAH-HAH-HA! Not so mouthy now, are you?" Octavio slams his scepters down on the arms of his throne, leaning from his seat as though he were about to strike her himself. “Typical inkling, always so headstrong, so reckless. You really think I wouldn’t have planned for this!?”

Pearl grinds her beak. For once in her life, she needs to shut up. She won’t be helping anyone if she dies here. 

Silence settles over the hall. Sweat beads on Pearl’s brow, and to her horror, her nose begins to itch. Oh, Cod. Don’t let her die because of a sneeze. She has plans; Pearl refuses to die to anything less awesome than a coddamn giant Salmonid, one big enough to dwarf Deca Tower back home.

Octavio finally twitches a tentacle just before Pearl is about to black out from holding her breath. Half of his soldiers lower their crossbows to stand at attention. The other half stay ready, but even that much is enough to have Pearl heave a dizzying sigh of relief.

“Impudence aside, you aren’t… totally incompetent,” he says, a gruff burr in his voice. “And I would prefer not to alienate my loyal citizens in purging this… cancer from my kingdom. I have a proposition.”

“Well, shoot. I mean, don’t actually shoot, but—yeah, okay, I’m listening.”

It’s incredible how he manages to curl his lip even while in swim form. That there is an expression with decades of experience behind it. “My granddaughter, my heir. Marina. The traitors I’ve exiled from Octaria are using her as a figurehead for their coup. They claim,” he says, voice dripping with so much venom that Pearl swears he’s exhaling flames, “that she will no longer tolerate my ‘tyranny’. That she will depose me and lead Octaria into a golden age.” 

Huh. Pearl winces. Now that she thinks about it, she did hear something about that on her way out of Inkopolis. She feels bad about it now, but she hadn’t been paying too much attention at the time. All she needed to know was ‘king bad, homeless Octarians, Pearl finally has a big quest’, and she was out the door with her travel pack restocked and her sword clattering against her hip.

Octavio’s skin is starting to tremble from the sheer force of feeling. Pearl can see it even from where she’s standing. It’s honestly a little surprising—that’s real emotion in his voice, rage and fear and grief like a fist around his throat. 

“They are holding her hostage in her tower. These traitors have poisoned her mind. I’ve sent my best and brightest to search for Marina, but she is being guarded by a monster of a Salmonid. One the size of your Deca Tower.” Holy squit? For eel!? 

Octavio falls silent. His perpetual glare grows even fiercer as he casts his eyes over his wrecked throne room, at the whimpering guards struggling to drag themselves from under the crushing weight of the overturned banquet table. When he speaks again, it’s with strangled pride. “My soldiers have been unable to retrieve her. I want my granddaughter returned to me. Safely.”

She is starting to see where this is going, and it’s getting hard to think through the confirmation of her wildest dreams coming true. Pearl has been daydreaming about giant rampaging monsters since before she could take a humanoid form. This is Squidmas, New Years, and her birthday, all at once!

But even through her excitement, she has to ask, because again: Octavio is a dick. 

“Are you sure your princess is bein’ held hostage? Maybe she’s doing this coup thing for eel.”

“How dare you!?” Octavio explodes. His scepters impact the sides of his throne with enough force that the metal dents, the head of one wasabi falling clean off with a ringing thunk. “Marina would never. She would never betray her own people—her own family! She’s only a child, she doesn’t know any better!”

Wait, so which is it? The princess has the integrity to not go against her gramps while militant Octarians hold her hostage, or she’s too young and naive to… also not pull a coup? Old man logic; Pearl doesn’t get it.  

“Alright. Okay, sure.” Whatever. She’ll go along with it. “So your granddaughter is being held hostage, and you want me to go rescue her.” Pearl wants to laugh right in his face—mercenary inklings, huh? Everyone always looks down on Inkopolis’ population of wandering, questing youths until they need someone to do something dangerous. “Sure, I can do that. Saving princesses—” So fucking cool—finally, a quest to write home about! “—is what I’m all about. But what do I get out of it? That doesn’t solve the problem of your people squatting on my land.” 

“If you bring Marina back,” Octavio growls, “then we will put this nonsense to rest. Those responsible for orchestrating this plot will be punished accordingly, but I will allow the exiles to be extradited back to Octaria for lesser sentences. Is that good enough for you?” 

Pearl is already salivating at the opportunity to jump on this quest. She also doesn’t want to get shot. But she just can’t help mouthing off. “I mean, it seems like you’re just giving me something to do on top of the real easy problem I asked you to solve in the first place, but sure, sure. I’ll bring your missing granddaughter back.” 

"Unharmed. If she has so much as a bruise—"

"Listen,” Pearl snaps, “I'll wrap her in a frickin' sea sponge so she gets back to you safe and sound. But in return, you gotta promise that you're not going to hurt any of your people when they come back."

"You have the audacity to tell me how to rule my own people?"

"I do, 'cuz you were the one who threw ‘em out in the first place, and I sure don't see anyone else trying to help! That's the deal, Your Majesty. I'm not sendin' those guys back to a situation where they could get hurt. I won't be responsible for it. So take it or leave it! If I’m gonna fetch your missing princess, I want a guarantee that your people are gonna come back and you’re not gonna lay a tentacle on ‘em!”

Octavio glowers. His scepters quiver from the force of his grip. 

There’s almost a hint of offense in his voice when he speaks again. “Very… well. You have my word. I, Octavio Takowasa Villaoctos, King of Octaria, will allow the safe return and fair treatment of all exiles expelled to Inkopolis… if you bring back my granddaughter.”

Pearl points at the guards flanking his throne. “And y’all heard that, right? Legal witnesses.” 

No response. Tough crowd. 

“That having been said… I wouldn’t trust an inkling mercenary farther than I can throw them.” Pearl rolls her eyes as Octavio swivels in his seat. Jeez, right back to insulting her! 

“To ensure that you don’t break your promise… Octavia!”

The freaking black hole of a hideout behind Octavio’s throne spits out yet another octoling—seriously, isn’t that a security hazard? Are there just a bunch of soldiers squatting back there 24/7? Do they get bathroom breaks?—this one without the characteristic snarling mask of the king’s personal guard. 

She’s pretty tall, clad in lacquered black armor, her tentacles loosely framing her face. “Your Majesty,” she says, golden eyes flicking to Pearl, then back. 

Octavio waves her over. “Octavia is one of my most trusted agents, and Marina’s lady-in-waiting. She managed to escape the tower during our first rescue attempt. She will ensure that you keep your end of the bargain and lend legitimacy to your mission. My granddaughter won’t leave her tower for a stranger, but she would recognize her lady-in-waiting.”

“Riiiiiiight,” Pearl says. She squints at Octavia. Something about her seems… fishy. Well, that’s probably just how spies are. At least he’s upfront about foisting one off on her. A little honesty goes a long way. “Just don’t get in the way.”

Octavia smiles. “It’s good to meet you, Pearl. You can call me Eight.”

author’s notes:

oh you better bet that squod gives his strongest muscles to his shortest inklings

Thank you for reading, and we hope you enjoyed the start of this wild ride! This AU is a collaboration between myself (Bandit) and my buddy @wtfoctagon, of great yuri infamy.

While originally written to be released as a humongous one shot for Pearl-day (hilarious that her day is April Fool's by the way), it grew out of control and turned into a multichapter. Please let us know what you think, and see you very soon for the next chapter!

[splattales]

“We vacuumed it all up! Every last drop,” Ribbon cheers, skipping out of Tay’s unusually modified mech and onto the Alternian ‘snow’. “I bet lil’ buddy could’ve eaten it all if we had enough power eggs, though.”

“I bet he could.” Tay laughs, walking out after her and toward the group of cephalopods waiting below. “It’d be a much more time-consuming process though, wouldn’t you say?”

Molly folds her arms as they approach, though there isn’t anything for her to find fault with. Ribbon was correct – the fuzzy ooze in Grizz’s rocket had been decommissioned, and every other remnant was now contained within Octavio Jr’s ship tank. Alterna was spotless. Well, still crunchy with a large amount of crystal dust, but otherwise spotless. “Guess that means we really can wrap up here, gang. Biohazard’s gone.”

“It’s about time we had a break.” Marie yawns.

“Huh? I thought you were on break this whole time!” Callie quips. “Gramps sure seemed to think so—he left before Tavio even started.”

“No way, I’m suuuuper busy being a manager here. Gramps isn’t technically part of the Splatoon anymore, so he can go home whenever he wants.” Marie shrugs. “He probably just left for his afternoon nap.”

“I don’t think Cuttlefish likes me at the best of times,” Tay scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I can’t say I blame him. But after today, don’t say I never do anything for you surface-dwellers.”

“I can’t blame him either,” Marie mutters. Callie elbows her, smiling.

Marina steps out from the group, speaking up. “Um—Mister Octavio, sir … what exactly are you going to do with the ooze…?”

The emperor gives a light shrug. “My science guy said he wants to study it, see if it can be used to reverse the physical effects of sanitization – and vice versa, for fuzzification. Seems like a long shot if you ask me, but the more he learns, the faster we’ll figure out how to break it down if it all needs to go.”

“Ah—I see. Thank you.” She clears her throat. “That was, um, everything.”

“Good work, team.” Molly gives a brief thumbs up, before turning to start gathering her things. “Boy am I ready to be back in Inkopolis…”

“You’re welcome~ I’ve got a broken ceiling to get through.” Tay turns, heading back toward his spaceship. His tail swishes behind him as he walks. “I’m sure we’ll run into each other again. It seems to keep happening, regardless of how desperately I try to avoid you.”

The Squid Sisters take this as their cue to leave as well. Ribbon has spent this time listening in silence, confused as everyone gives their goodbyes. “Wait, wait, that’s it? Everyone’s just gonna go home? I’ll see you all here tomorrow, right?”

“Well, you’ll see me tomorrow,” Marina tries to reassure her, “My job’s never done. But the Splatoon’s taken care of everything with their mission here.”

“But—but I live here. And I’m part of the Splatoon.”

“And you still are.” Molly pats Ribbon on the head. “You can hold the fort here and contact us if anything out of the ordinary happens. Same for us—we won’t leave you out of the loop.”

“Oh. Well. Thanks,” Ribbon mumbles, still chewing on this thought. “I’m gonna come back tomorrow and help Marina with the human stuff, then.”

“I’ll be here—or at the trailer!” Marina confirms, waving as Ribbon plods off, still thinking.

As soon as the young eel hybrid disappears through the grate, Molly confronts the octoling. “What d’you mean you’re not coming back to Inkopolis?”

Marina blinks rapidly, confused by this line of questioning. “I live here—my old place in Inkopolis was just student accommodation, and now I have a job. Not to mention a human roommate to look after. All eight of my tentacles are full.”

“Right. But… What about Finn? Isn’t he going to miss you?”

“Well, sure he will. But he’s been missing you, Marie, and Callie this whole time too.”

“But—you’re our—you’re my friend.”

Marina stretches a smile. “And here I thought you were tolerating me this whole time. … Well, I’m not going to stop you from visiting. And you all have shellphones.”

“Right. Well, I’m gonna visit.” Frowning, Molly adjusts her hat so that it’s tight on her head and slings her bag of belongings over her shoulder. On her way out, she calls back, “and you’d better visit us, too!”

“Aye, captain.”

[spiced-koi-friend]

Hidden Tears

Jurard and Ruze deal with the emotions of the whole situation, struggling when they normally hide behind their confident facades.

Previous Chapter

Jurard T. Rexford, Crimzon Ruze, Octavio, Goldbullet, & Machina X Flayon

TW: verbal abuse, PTSD, imprisonment Words: 1144 | Rating: M

The guards drag Jurard into the throne room, holding his arms back and his legs off the ground. He’s tried to free himself by fighting back or biting them, but it seems like they came prepared for this kidnapping trip. But when his eyes meet the gaze of his parents, he freezes in place. His father glares down at his son, making Jurard start to cower inside. Suddenly all the memories of why he ran in the first place come flooding back, and genuine fear sets in.

“I see you didn’t cause too much trouble, Jurard.”

“N-No, father.”

He glances at his mother, who remains the silent enabler of his father’s actions like she always was. Silently cursing her, but his attention is brought back to his father when he clears his throat.

“They will be arriving later today, they offered quite a pretty penny for you. Maybe you’ll finally have some value to this family.”

“Today!? I don’t even get to meet them first!?”

“Don’t talk back! You’ll have plenty of time to get to know them once you’re sent home with them. Be a good trophy husband for them, at least you got your mother’s features.”

Jurard’s eyes burn as he blinks back tears, terrified about being shipped away, just a pawn for his father again. Seeing his son broken like this satisfies the king, waving them off to bring Jurard to his quarters. Not even the furniture that was in there when he left remained, looking nothing more like the servants’ quarters for the ones set to be executed. For the lowest of the low. The guards throw him inside and lock it, right before he’s able to rush the door. His tears finally fall as he crashes against the door, screaming at his father and lashing out in his reptilian form. His claws dig deep gashes into the wood, but still not enough to break through. 

He collapses to his knees, turning around and sitting back against the door. Jurard brings his knees to his chest, only able to mourn the life he built for himself and be afraid of the aristocratic life he’s being thrust back into. He thinks back to what Ruze said, about how they’d be coming to get him. But would they even be able to get here in time? What if they’re already almost here and he’s off and married before they even find his parents’ castle? Every doubt possible in his mind, the memories of the stuffy suits and the high expectations, the verbal abuse and emotional neglect. 

Jurard just hopes that Ruze is right, and that they’ll hurry.

…

The cars race down the streets, following after the fresh tracks from the guards’ vehicles. These roads are rarely traversed, so it certainly made it easier to track them down. Ruze’s hands grip the wheel tightly, nearly white-knuckling it as his foot just stomps on the gas without any intention of letting up. He’s on a one track mind, and the outside world almost doesn’t exist. He just has to get to the castle, and then he can breathe. Just gotta get to the castle-

“Ruze!”

Goldie’s hand touches his arm, trying to gently get his attention and pull him out of his head.

“Ease up there, it’ll be okay. We’ll get him back. It’s not your fault.”

“Of course it’s not! I’m not blaming myself!”

Ruze eases up his pressure on the pedal, letting the other car pass them. It takes him a second before sharply turning onto the shoulder, kicking open the door and grabbing Zephyr off the top of the car. His axe slices cleanly through a tree, leaving it to fall and leave a stump. He throws Zephyr down into the mud, with enough force to embed it into the ground firmly. Goldie has gotten out of the car at this point, running around to catch up to Ruze. He watches as Ruze sits on the stump, burying his face in his hands and letting out a scream. It takes a second to decide what is best, before sitting down next to him and wrapping an arm around Ruze’s shoulders.

“Y’know Ruze, it’s okay to be scared or upset about what happened.”

“I’m not scared! I’m angry! I’m angry that I took the coward’s way out and just let them take him!”

“Because you were scared.”

At this point the other car has backtracked, rolling down the window to see what’s going on. Goldie just waves at them, gesturing to just give the two of them a minute. He just rubs Ruze’s shoulder, trying not to draw attention to the fact that he’s noticed the tears falling to the ground.

“You were outnumbered, Ruze. I don’t think any of us would have tried to take them on either. Plus, you came and got the rest of us immediately. And we’ll get him back, I promise. You didn’t do anything wrong. You did the right thing.”

“Why doesn’t it feel like it?”

Goldie takes a second, letting out a sigh before he answers.

“It’s gonna feel bad either way. Either they were going to take Jurard or they were gonna take Jurard and you’d die trying to protect him. And I gotta admit, I’m happy you didn’t die. You had to protect yourself with this one, because that was the only option you had.”

He does smile when he’s able to get a chuckle out of Ruze, watching him wipe his eyes before meeting his eye. 

“How about I drive, that way you can space out and think all you want without endangering the rest of us with your speeding?”

“Yeah… doesn’t really help us save our dino if we’re flipped in a ditch.”

“Probably not. Alright. You feel better?”

He knows that Ruze doesn’t enjoy being emotionally vulnerable, but it doesn’t stop him or any of the others from worrying. Ruze picks up Zephyr with a small flip to adjust his grip, resting the handle on his shoulder.

“I feel like I’m ready to kick some royal ass. That good enough for you?”

“I wouldn’t have expected any other answer from you, Ruze.”

Ruze jumps over the car, securing Zephyr back on the top and nodding to the other car. Octavio looks up from his game with Flayon in the backseat, a bit relieved that Ruze is no longer at the wheel. And thankfully Ruze takes his role as passenger princess rather seriously, commandeering the aux cord and putting on their shared playlist. He slides a bag of jerky for him silently over the center console, hoping it makes his friend feel better. Goldie steals a piece of Ruze’s jerky, but for once, his hand isn’t nearly bitten off. It’ll take a bit for Ruze to get back to his normal self, but at least he’s doing a bit better.

[bigblueoctoling]

So, Side Order

Thoughts and theories below. I'll be getting into Everything.

I think Side Order sets off with a very bad first impression, but the story shortly develops. Side Order's biggest fault is simply in placing the Finale at the end of the first run; Of course one naturally should assume that more content would come after beating your first run, since this was very obviously marketed as a roguelike, but a roguelike generally shouldn't present completing your first run as completing the game. Any contemporary roguelike like Hades or Isaac will also have the credits after the first run, but the conclusion given is typically that Your Job Is Not Over. The way Side Order does it is as if Isaac's first ending was The Beast. I can't really blame people for mistakenly believing that the "Story" was over after that.

I also have to mention that I LOVE the Final Final Phase with collecting All Of The Color Swatches, but it really really cheapens how cool of a moment it is for Eight when the FINAL ATTACK is just... Pearl doing the killer wail a second time. Like, could you really not come up with ANYTHING else? I like Pearl's killer wail, it's cool, but it just felt like Eight got completely robbed of a moment.

With those two things out of the way I can safely say that Side Order was overall very good. It was kind of a rollercoaster for me, initially.

For a lot of it, I was really irked at how generic the whole Evil AI Story was, but it really develops as time goes on without really outright spelling things out for you.

I was deeply worried when I got Octavio's palette; one of my biggest fears for Splatoon currently is the idea of them trying to redeem Octavio, who is blatantly just a war tyrant who grooms child soldiers. That's not me reading too deeply into subtext, that's just what the text is. But as you keep going through it it becomes pretty clear- Marina in particular is the one who's phrasing everything like it's Really Not So Bad.

One of Side Order's major themes is Marina repressing trauma.

Smollusk is never really given an outright explanation on their origin, but I think it's fairly clear if you pay attention to how Smollusk acts- Smollusk is, in part, a manifestation of the "weakness" in Marina's subconscious Order used to infiltrate her mind. As far as evidence goes, it's pretty clear with how Smollusk swoons over Pearl- but additionally, I feel a lot of their notes from clearing palettes are relevant to this. In particular, in relation to the theme of Marina's repressed thoughts, there's Sheldon's info- The fact that they outright condemn Sheldon for taking "two young, impressionable children who've known him since they were babies and raised them to inherit his legacy", and "drill a love for weapons into them" seems to outright be a condemnation of Octavio's treatment of Octarians, while also skirting around directly condemning Octavio of such due to repressing what she went through.

In addition to that, I feel Acht's presence is a key part of this theme as well- it is extremely in character for someone as empathetic as Marina to downplay something she herself went through, especially in the context of being around someone who went through something much worse, with Acht's sanitization. Marina consistently refers to it as her Job, and Octavio as her Boss, while Acht will outright describe it accurately as conscription.

There's also the aspect of the other octarians- namely, the concept of Octarians who "didn't want things to change". At first, the concept reviled me- but I came to realize that this wasn't really about blaming Marina for leaving- after all, this wasn't an active desire of the Octarians involved, this was a shared subconscious feeling. It's less that Marina "abandoned the Octarian Military", but rather, that the people left behind felt abandoned by Marina's leaving. They surely wouldn't actively express this, but... it left an impact all the same.

Most clearly this is expressed by Acht. With the final notes unlocked from Eight's palette, I feel like it paints a very clear picture- Acht cared deeply for Marina. After Marina left... Acht fell into a complete depressive spiral. They used music to fill the void left by her absence, eventually to the point that they were willing to let themselves be sanitized. I feel like a lot of people are kind of distracted by the idea of Acht's irritation of Pearl and Marina's flirting being funny to realize that their discomfort is coming from the fact that Acht had very Heavy feelings for Marina. Acht, possibly more than anyone else, represents the idea of wanting things to stay the same back then. The ultimate conclusion being that Acht moves on from everything, accepts the change, but is happy to be able to be here, in the better future Marina created by making the risk to change everything.

I honestly feel like this is the intended story, but at the same time, that it's going to go over a lot of peoples' heads. But it really paints a very dynamic plotline that I think they handled masterfully.

For context for people who don't know me, to put it bluntly, I kin Acht and Eight pretty fucking hard. I can't say enough how thankful I am that Acht is written largely how I've always envisioned her. I wrote a fairly extensive fic myself on how I imagined sanitization worked, and the way Acht made their way to the surface, and how Marina worked to cure their sanitization. Suffice to say, while my interpretation was different, I'm deeply, deeply pleased that the canonical direction was largely similar to my own, in that Marina would absolutely be way too empathetic to not try to rescue the sanitized octarians from the NILS statue. And for what it's worth, I'm kind of glad, albeit mostly as a writer and less as a player, that they left a lot of the details open-ended, so I have MOUNTAINS of material to work with in writing another, more accurate fic. I'm also very happy that Eight is very heavily relevant! Acht is characterized perfectly. Very emotionally reserved, but has a lot of feelings hidden behind that wall.

As for Eight and Acht, let's talk about them, because I feel they are very intentionally linked, beyond the similarity of their names. It stands out very heavily that Eight's palette is here, but Acht's is simply missing. The idea that Acht's palette was simply already configured doesn't quite track to me- it feels more like an excuse Marina cooked up to keep Acht from worrying. I came to a realization of a theory shortly after completing the game that I was mortified at being true, because it was a worst-case-scenario I thought of shortly after Acht's reveal, which is:

Acht is Eight.

This upset me a lot because, well, I kin both of them- I have a lot of self-perceptions tied to each of them. If they're both the same character, to put it bluntly, it feels like I'm basically having one of them get forcibly removed. Some people get confused when I say this upsets me, but simply put, it just doesn't gel with my brain.

The most upsetting thing is how many holes in the plot it seems to fill in perfectly.

Eight, Marina, and Pearl were the only ones who initially entered the spire. Why was Acht already there, 'physically', as opposed to everyone else who merely got their soul sucked in through the sea cucumber phone?

Where even is Acht, physically? They're presumably still in the NILS statue, since it's pretty heavily implied that the memverse is what made Acht in control over their body.

Why doesn't Acht have a palette, even if it was already somehow automatically complete? Pearl and Marina just sort of have theirs with them. Why doesn't Acht?

Why is Eight's palette so huge and fucked up?

Why does Eight's palette unlock notes from Acht?

Why do we not actually see Acht physically in the real world? On the news, rather than just showing the three standing together, they show Pearl and Marina standing next to the old album art of Acht.

Why do we not get much of any feedback to explain if Eight gets their memories back?

Upsettingly, it even kind of goes to explain why Nintendo would give Acht they/them pronouns- as happy as I am for Acht to just be nonbinary, the explanation that Acht is Eight would explain why Nintendo would do that.

Most upsettingly, it seemed like nothing really hard countered this evidence- Eight and Acht look completely different, but that's kind of a nebulous hurdle to get over when everything else seems to line up so perfectly.

...However, thankfully, I came to learn that, of all things, TABLETURF BATTLE would save me from this theory being real. Acht is real, physically. Logically it doesn't track that Acht would exist physically after Eight, since, you know, you're definitely playing as Eight in Octo Expansion, so I think it's safe to say that this theory is a non-starter. Huge relief to me.

That being said, I still feel like this theory has legs- it certainly would make a very good super depressing fic where Acht has to come to grips with the fact that they don't exist anymore, but I'm not in the business of making that kind of fic.

On the other hand, I do think the fact that so many things line up does imply a lot about Acht and Eight, if not strictly canonically speaking. I think it's very possible for it to be something like:

Eight is a clone of Acht.

This, for the most part, explains the plot holes listed above, and explains the weird green goo that we initially find Eight in. It also adds more fun to work with for writing the two. We get a lot of language like "Who am I?" with Eight in particular, and giving Eight an identity crisis on top of everything else sounds fun. It also explains the visual discrepancies, a clone can look different from the host, but clones sharing souls tracks. I'm keeping this headcanon.

I also just think the color swatch system, and the design for Dramatic Days in Orderland as a whole, are very Neat and very Cute and line up with my autism very very very well. It makes me very deeply happy how autism-coded Marina is in this, and frankly, this being her solution to curing sanitized octarians is even more indulgent to my own interests than my own self-indulgent fan fic was. I cannot WAIT to write more and think about Marina's silly virtual worlds. Especially with how power-trip-y this one is; the fact that she envisions herself as the final boss is really a lot of food for thought.

As a whole, all of Side Order is an enormous amount of food for thought. This is EXACTLY what Splatoon 3 has been missing- fodder for theorycrafting and fanfic-writing and so forth. The world of Splatoon 3 has felt so stagnant and all of this is an enormous breath of fresh air that makes me excited for the future of the series.

In closing:

Smollusk is a product of the subconscious of those who worked on the game.

Acht loved Marina but lacked the self-esteem to express it to Marina. Marina left and Acht took it pretty hard, but they're okay now.

Eight is a clone of Acht and they share one huge fucked up broken soul. Whoops!

[tonymarias]

Velasco is so boring and cardboard

Literally! Pretty sure the fandom only liked him cause he’s hot… WHICH he is so…

Ever since Muncy left they had no idea what to do with him. His dynamic with the other characters is not at all interesting like Jesus… I didn’t ship Velasco and Muncy by any means but at least it was a fun dynamic

I don’t think it’s Octavio’s fault I think it’s literally the writers not give him good enough material to work with…

He was gone for a couple of episodes this season and I literally didn’t even notice Velasco wasn’t in the squad room lmao.

He’s probably not leaving anytime soon so I can just hope they give him something to fucking do.

(Also his storyline was lowkey racist but we won’t deal with that today)