#it's about the importance of food and different dishes/restaurants/people he connected to throughout his life

[mannap]

They really cast the PERFECT person to play Aldo Bellini lmaooooo😭

[dat-carovieh]

Got some interpretation on Hank’s character that got prompted by some discussion on Discord about the stickers on Hank’s work desk. They all seem to somehow send a message about some boomer guy who is racist about androids, hates his ex-wife, is in general a grumpy asshole who is a prick to everyone. But is he really and if not, how do you explain the stickers?

So, let’s first have a look at who Hank interacts with throughout the game to see if he really is a grumpy prick like the stickers suggest. We will get to the stickers later. I will not include Connor for now, because I think that has been talked about a lot also this post is already a novel. But let’s talk about side characters.

We have of course his co-workers. Most memorable is probably Gavin. He clearly doesn’t like Gavin and Gavin clearly doesn’t like him. Gavin is pretty shitty to Hank, despite Hank being his superior. So I think Hank calling Gavin an asshole and not being friendly with him makes sense. How about other co-workers, we don’t see a lot. I can only think of Ben and Chris. They seem to be respecting each other. In Partners Hank arrives, gets greeted by Ben, has a polite conversation about what happened, Ben teases him a little, Hank does not get rude about it, maybe a bit grumpy, but well he’s annoyed about his new partner. He than walks around the crime scene and asks questions. When he talks, he is polite to the person he talks to. He talks to Chris in public enemy (Please excuse if I forget instances, I have played the game a couple of times, but my brain isn’t perfect) He enters, he makes a joke, in my opinion it’s funny and in no way rude, he’s annoyed with the FBI, yeah but I think that’s normal. He asks Chris questions, listens to him, polite conversation, they seem to clearly respect each other and have a good and professional relationship. Later Hank is clearly really affected by what happened to Chris, no matter if he got killed or not.

Jeffrey is a little harder. They do yell at each other, it’s not really pretty, there are clearly issues between them. They go way back and I can imagine they butt heads a lot because Jeffrey is disappointed in Hank for letting himself go and giving in to his depression and alcoholism. I can imagine he had tried to help Hank and he resisted a lot, Hank seems like the type. So there is a lot of tension that comes out between them.

I mentioned the FBI earlier, so clearly, we have to talk about Perkins, THAT MOTHER FUCKER. Yeah, I hate him, he’s an asshole, Hank thinks the same. But honestly Perkins was super rude from the beginning. Chris introduced them and instead of a “Hello” or whatever his first words were “What is that” about Connor. Yeah, fuck off Perkins. Hank has actually been really polite with him there, if you take in the circumstances.

Let’s move to the Eden Club. Who does he interact here? Ben, briefly, polite professional, he calls Gavin an asshole, when he’s not there, he doesn’t really say anything to Gavin when they’re in the same room, despite Gavin being a little shit again. Eden Club owner? He’s polite as he questions him, he does mention that he likes his dog more and more the more he learns about humans, which honestly, if you look at why he says that, understandable. Then the Traci, this is easily missed, I only saw it on my fourth playthrough, he is trying to gently let her down and it’s incredibly adorable. The guy who supposedly absolutely hates Androids and thinks they’re just machines tries to not hurt this android sexworker’s feelings even though he believes she doesn’t even have feelings.

We see a little bit of his private life at Chicken Feed where he meets Pedro, a guy who apparently gives him questionable betting advice and last time Hank apparently lost quite a bit of money with Pedro’s advice. But he’s not mad. He mentions it but he is quickly convinced to bet again and he’s in general super friendly to Pedro. Gary, the guy who owns Chicken Feed, him and Hank also seem to have a good relationship. Someone who wouldn’t want to interact with humans and who is annoyed by them (like me sometimes) wouldn’t actually built a connection to the guy you buy your food from. I’m talking from personal experience here. Yes, I’m always friendly to service workers I interact with but I don’t really say more than greeting, thanking, wishing a good day and anything important for whatever I’m buying. Hank clearly knows him better and talks to him. Jimmy is less clear but the way he says to him “Wonders of technology, make it double” it seems like they know each other, they chat on occasion. And I think that extends to other Service workers. He would be friendly at the grocery store when something doesn’t work out r at the restaurant when getting the wrong dish. You know like millennials are, because he is a millennial.

That we go to Kamski. I’m not sure why he seems nervous while talking to Chloe because I’m pretty sure with all his experience he doesn’t get nervous in front of a pretty woman, that seems like it would be really bad for the job. I don’t know what’s with this, maybe cause she’s an android and he’s not sure how to interact with her? But he is very polite to her, greets her and asks for Kamski. Despite her being an android, he supposedly hates. He is less polite to Kamski, but he’s a little shit, who honestly is wilfully withholding information from the police, which is a crime, but he’s rich so I guess he gets away with it.

 So, what about the Stickers than? Let’s have a look at the Stickers and see what we have.

I’m just gonna list what we see there, so you don’t have to get through my grainy screenshots and also, it’s accessible for screenreaders.

We have three categories, let’s start with anti Android: -“We don’t bleed the same color” -a blue triangle, crossed out, underneath it says: “No more androids”

That’s it, only two, we know he doesn’t like androids but like mentioned before he is still really polite to them, well his relationship with Connor is starting bumpy and based on player choices might get bumpier. But what is it, he hates? He doesn't like androids in their non-deviated state because of what humans want them to be, he hates that humans basically built human shaped slaves. And honestly, I kinda get it. Connor shoots the Tracis? Hank likes Connor less. Hank shoots Chloe, Hank is mad. Connor spares them? Hank tells him he did the right thing. Connor asked him why he didn’t want him to chase Kara across the highway and the first thing he says is “You could have died” before he remembers he’s supposed to hate androids. Yes, he gives positive feedback when Connor shoots the kitchen android but he was actively threatening all of their lifes.

Next, we have a sticker mentioning an ex-wife, only one. It says: “If I wanted to be ignored I’d talk to my ex-wife” There is something else there but it’s blocked by another sticker.

Seems like classical boomer humour “Haha I hate my ex-wife” or it’s ironic. There is no other instance of an ex-wife being mentioned. For all we know, he might have never been married. Hell he might be gay. Cole might have been adopted. The sticker might be ironic. Or he got it from somewhere and just sticked it on or he did it very shortly after the breakup when he was pretty mad.

Third are the grumpy ones. We have more from them. -“If you’re not a bartender, go away!” twice -“How is my driving? Call: 1-555-IDONTCARE” twice -I’m not grumpy. I just don’t like you.” -“Warning, to avoid injury, don’t tell me how to do my job” -“If you have a complaint, please do to hell.” -“Happy people make me sick”

This screams edgy millennial to me. Also the fact he has stickers twice seems like he just got them somewhere and slapped them on because he found them funny. He didn’t buy them specifically.

The bartender ones? Don’t we all like to make fun of our mental illnesses? He knows he’s an alcoholic, might as well make fun about it. The ones about driving? Wouldn’t you stick them on your car? Why is this in the office? Because they’re stupid but somehow funny, just slap them on there. I’m not grumpy? I would totally say that as well. And I believe people told them he’s grumpy so he probably saw this as fitting. I have to admit I don’t have a specific interpretation to telling him hoe to do his job and the complaint one. The one about happy people? This man is heavily depressed, that’s a coping mechanism, it’s again making fun of your own mental illness. But yes, all in all they boil down to edgy millennial.

 I’m well aware that this is probably not what David Cage intended but to be honest I don’t care what David Cage intended. He tried to push boomer Hank on us with these stickers but the Hank we got was different. I don’t know if that’s Clancy’s doing or if this is just another plothole. But that is my interpretation of Hank, nobody asked for.

Anyway, I love Hank and I’m making it everyone’s problem.

[minmotl]

Chapter 54: How Sui Zhou Ends Up Managing Tang Fan’s Salary (& How Tang Fan Lets Him)

Context: After the events of the case in the previous chapter, the case is wrapped up properly. While the White Lotus Sect is still in the wind, it was revealed that the Nan Cheng Bang’s case is connected to Wan Tong (Royal Consort Wan’s brother and Sui Zhou’s superior) and the man is punished (lightly). Wang Zhi is praised by the emperor for handling this well, but Consort Wan chides him for not protecting/helping Wan Tong.

On the other hand, even though Tang Fan contributed the most to this case, he does not get rewarded (because the emperor is not fond of him), while Sui Zhou is promoted for his part in solving the case.

Embarrassed, Tang-daren says, “We’re not even halfway through the month yet, but my salary is almost gone.”

So that’s what it is. Sui Zhou is a little speechless, and the tension on his cold face is palpable.

“… where did your money go?”

Introduction Post | Masterpost

—

Highlights under the cut

Originally, Deng Xiu Cai would have had to go through a ‘waist cut’ penalty, but because he was frank and honest, an exception was made for him to first die by ingesting poison. A suicide void of pain, and they would behead him after. A waist cut is incomparably excruciating, so in order to die comfortably, Deng Xiu Cai spared no effort in spilling everything he knew.

Before Ah Dong and the children, who knew how many other children landed in their hands? Even that puppet Ding Yi Mu was also heavily involved. No one knows how much fresh blood stains their hands, so it is hardly a travesty that these people are put to death.

Everyone’s efforts as they busied themselves working through most of the night were not in vain, and the case finally came to a close. They can almost call this a perfect ending.

Throughout this whole case, aside from those injured in the battle against the members of the Nan Cheng Bang, the person who was injured the most is definitely Tang Fan.

He was first knocked out with a wooden stick to the head and it was verified after, that he did bleed from that. Then, when his hands were restrained back in the cellar, he bled then too, and after that, Xin Shi Tou shoved him once. His hands were still tied then and he was unable to move, so his knees immediately suffered from abrasions as they bruised and bled, and then he was cut by the porcelain piece on his neck and more…

Although not severe, Tang Fan can be considered as marred with injuries all over his whole body. Thankfully, he was injured on the job and thus, Tang-daren is able to request for half a month’s worth of medical leave with a peace of mind, and also help Sui Zhou to celebrate in this time.

Yes, Sui Zhou has been promoted yet again.

This time, however, is purely an accident.

After heading to Jiang Xi previously to deal with the Huang Jing Long case, Sui Zhou was already promoted to fu-qianhu and technically would not be eligible for any promotions in the short term, but due to the missing children’s case and with the Emperor upset at Wan Tong for colluding with the bandits, he invited Yuan Bin back to lead the Embroidered Uniform Guards.

And Yuan Bin’s background - His meritorious contributions include saving the Emperor, and the person he saved was the previous Emperor.

That year of Tu Mu’s Rebellion, Yuan Bin accompanied the Emperor, protecting Ying Zong. He was even caught hostage together with Ying Zong and took care of him. The both of them went through so much hardship and thus, their relationship was not like that of the relationship between the Emperor and other officials. Afterwards, Yuan Bin helped the previous Emperor to regain the throne, and thus, can be considered to have made major contributions.

Due to this history, when today’s Emperor ascended to the throne, he too, treats Yuan Bin with immense respect. The only thing is that as Yuan Bin grows older, he no longer handles any actual tasks and was the Commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guards in name only. This time however, the Emperor intends to teach Wan Tong a lesson, and thus invited Yuan Bin to return to his former post.

With Yuan Bin’s accolades and reputation, even the Emperor of today needs to show him some respect. This is something that Wan Tong, this cheap relative, will never be able to amount to no matter how much he tries to flatter his way into the Emperor’s good graces.

These years, because of Wan Tong, the Embroidered Uniform Guards is now a place rife with corruption where despicable men can do as they like. Those who pander to Wan Tong will be able to become the Wan family’s important and esteemed guests, while those who oppose him, Wan Tong uses the power he has in the Embroidered Uniform Guards to pressure and attack. For example, the supervisor that Sui Zhou spoke of previously tried to impeach both Royal Consort Wan and her brother, and this led to his family’s demise.

Once Yuan Bin arrived, the atmosphere suddenly changed.

Although Yuan Bin is old, he is still in good shape and is firm in handling things. The moment he arrives, he gets rid of the Embroidered Uniform Guards’ Southern and Northern Administrative Courts leaders, who are also Wan Tong’s trusted men. Wan Tong grits his teeth in resentment, but is unable to do anything to him. He is unable to complain in front of the Emperor as well, all because Yuan Bin was sent by the Emperor precisely to reform the Embroidered Uniform Guards.

With this, no one dares to say anything when they see Wan Tong now. All those troublemakers naturally have to back off and turn over a new leaf obediently, lest they be implicated and dragged into more trouble.

Although it seems as if these happenings have no direct relevance to Sui Zhou, due to his position and how competent he is, he quickly loses the ‘fu’ in his title, and rises to become a real qianhu.

Qianhu is a Rank 5 title, but don’t look down on the rank or his role as a military official, as a qianhu from the Embroidered Uniform Guards has no small amount of power. There are five official posts under both the Northern and Southern Adminstrative Courts, and qianhu commands one of them.

More importantly, because Yuan Bin recently removed the previous Northern Administrative Court in-charge, the position currently sits empty, so Yuan Bin let Sui Zhou take over the role temporarily. This is also out of consideration of Sui Zhou’s sudden promotion as Yuan Bin is afraid that the other men in the Embroidered Uniform Guards would not acknowledge or recognize Sui Zhou’s authority, so the man did not directly push him into the position. Instead, Yuan Bin is giving him the role as a deputy.

Things are indeed different once a veteran like Yuan Bin steps forth, and even on matters such as these, he is meticulous - if Sui Zhou performs well, he can expect to formally transition into his new position in the near future, but if he does not, Yuan Bin can remove him at any time. There are no lack of people eyeing his position, and this inadvertently serves as motivation for Sui Zhou to work his hardest.

So Sui Zhou is now receiving that of a Rank 5 qianhu’s salary but sitting in that of a Rank 4 position. The speed at which is he progressing at is met with the red eyes of jealousy by others, but what Sui Zhou is about to face are multiple obstacles and pressure that comes with thinking about how to win the loyalty and hearts of others, how to convince others and get them to acknowledge him, and how to ensure that people working under him will listen to his orders.

Regardless, this is still something worthy of celebration. In order to celebrate for Sui Zhou, Tang Fan and Xue Ling, together with some of Sui Zhou’s long-time subordinates, decided to host a meal. Not in Xian Ke Lou as it is too expensive there. Since everyone is familiar with each other and there are a lot of restaurants in the city, they do not have to head to an expensive one.

Tang Fan chose a time-honoured food stall called Yang Ji Mutton. The mutton here is most famous and he reserved a room in advance, called a few of his colleagues from Shun Tian Prefecture, and along with Sui Zhou, Xue Ling and some others from the guards, they gather around a table to have hot pot mutton.

There are four pots on the table and four large plates of tender and fat mutton slices on the side. In addition to that, there are green vegetables, mushrooms, noodles and assorted side dishes, garlic, soy sauce, spring onion, sesame oil, pepper and other condiments. Everyone can personally customize and do it themselves as they get into the food.

This time it is not just Sui Zhou, but Xue Ling and the others, because of Yuan Bin, were promoted as well, and this is naturally cause for joy.

On the other hand, Tang Fan, who solved two consecutive cases and made two meritorious contributions - firstly helping Royal Consort Wan to prove her innocence and secondly finding the children of those officials, heading into the bandit’s cave and battling the Nan Cheng Bang with both courage and wit - as he spared no effort and even putting his own life on the line, did not get even the slightest bit of a reward. His rank remains unchanged. Tang Fan does not think much of this personally, but close friends of his find this unfair for him.

After indulging well in both food and alcohol, Xue Ling stands up from his seat, walks over and pats at Tang Fan’s shoulder with great force, assuring him, “Run Qing, I don’t think that you are this unlucky. I’m sure you’ll definitely be able to become a high ranking, major official in the future, do not be discouraged!”

“That’s right!” Pang Qi adds, “It’s just your time has yet to come, don’t be upset.”

Both Xue Ling and him are still working under Sui Zhou at present, but they have already been promoted to baihu rank, going further in their careers as officials. Not just the both of them, but also Sui Zhou’s long-time subordinates, they have all risen up the ranks. With this, everyone knows that if they follow the big boss, they will be taken care of, and thus are now even more loyal to Sui Zhou.

Sui Zhou sees that Xue Ling has drank too much, and is now leaning unsteadily on Tang Fan. He cannot help but reach out and pull him away, and chides lightly, “Stand properly!”

They are not currently on duty and everyone has indulged in some alcohol, so Xue Ling is unafraid of him. Instead, he giggles and jokes, “Da-ge is really so good to Run Qing-xiong, even us brothers who have accompanied you for a long time cannot compare to him!”

A chorus of ‘that’s right’ rings out amongst everyone else.

Sui Zhou says, “I still have some empty space at my place, how about you move over and stay with me, and I’ll be good to you everyday?”

Xue Ling laughs sheepishly, and immediately shuts up.

What a joke; although he has not yet married a wife, he has concubines at home too, not to mention his frequent visits to brothels. If he has to face Sui Zhou’s stoic face every day, it will probably be more miserable than death itself.

Tang Fan laughs, “Everyone wants to be promoted, but I would not want that.”

Xue Ling yells, “You obviously do not mean that, who would not be happy at a promotion?”

“That’s right!” they chorus.

Tang Fan pretends to be pained, “Just think about it. I’m only Rank Six right now, and already I have to infiltrate a bandit’s nest, be struck with a wooden stick and almost died. If I inch even further upwards, wouldn’t I have to confront the White Lotus Sect leader myself? If that happens, by this time next year, none of you will be able to sit with me and have a drink!”

His explanation is indeed interesting and everyone bursts out in laughter. They intended to reassure him initially, but seeing that he is so open-minded about this, everyone does not say anything more.

After the banquet and celebration, everyone heads home and goes on to do what they are supposed to do.

On the way home, Sui Zhou sees that Tang Fan’s brows are tight and troubled, and thinks that while Tang Fan presented himself as rather nonchalant earlier, he must still be bothered by it on the inside, and says, “Sometimes good things can come out of bad things, and in the same way, bad events can lead to good things. You may not have been promoted this time, but it may not be a bad thing, and who knows, better opportunities are lying ahead of you.”

“I’m not worried about this…” Tang Fan says.

Sui Zhou asks, uncomprehending, “Then what is it?”

Embarrassed, Tang-daren says, “We’re not even halfway through the month yet, but my salary is almost gone.”

So that’s what it is. Sui Zhou is a little speechless, and the tension on his cold face is palpable, “… where did your money go? You guys treated me to a meal today, and the portion you contributed was only a few hundred coins?”

Helplessly, Tang Fan replies, “Yesterday, Pan-daren looked me up and the both of us had a meal outside, and who knew that when it was almost time to pay, my shixiong said he was having a stomachache and ran to the toilet, and so I ended up paying for it all first. He wanted to pay for his portion when he returned, but how could I have taken his money?”

“You guys couldn’t have gone to Xian Ke Lou to eat, could you?”

“Of course not. It was at a dumpling stall near Shun Tian Prefecture’s court, we had fish dumplings and pork and cabbage dumplings. Speaking of which, that stall’s skills is comparable to those located in the north of the city, and now that the weather is getting colder, when spring comes, there will be dumplings with chicken fillings, that is truly a delicacy…”

“… you have gone off-topic.”

Tang Fan goes ‘oh’, and continues, “This meal came up to a 100 coins or so as well.”

Upset, he adds, “But a few days ago, when I visited a colleague’s house, I realized that he was so poor that he couldn’t come up with his next meal, and so I treated him to one. I spent 50 coins on this… it is not as if I used a lot at one go, why does it feel like I spent everything at once?”

The more Sui Zhou hears, the more suspicious he gets, “Didn’t you receive 500 taels from that White Lotus Sect lady? Even if you gave me half of it, you couldn’t have used up 250 taels that quickly?!”

This is something that made Tang Fan feel happy for at least half the day. He didn’t tell anyone else about this, only Sui Zhou, and he ended up splitting the money up with him, the both of them each getting a portion.

Sui Zhou refused to take it, but Tang Fan insisted and shoved it into the other’s hands, forcing him to accept it.

Speaking of this, Tang-daren becomes even more embarrassed, “I saw how terrible the conditions were at my colleague’s. He has four children along with elders waiting to be fed, and the rent on the house he is living in is due very soon, but he is unable to come up with the money, so I ended up giving him all 250 taels.

Sui Zhou, expressionless, says, “You’re really generous.”

Thinking that Sui Zhou is praising him, he says humbly, thick-skinned, “Not at all, not at all. Helping the poor is the duty of people my age, and anyway, the money came easy, so it doesn’t pain me to spend it.”

Still expressionless, Sui Zhou continues, “How did this money come easy, did you go steal it or rob someone?”

“…”

“Did you forget that you almost lost your life in the bandits’ cave? No matter how difficult your friend’s situation is, giving him 100 taels would have been more than enough. How are you so intelligent at everything else but on your own matters? You do things without planning and spend money too easily!”

Tang-daren, being lectured as a child would be, does not dare to raise his head. Ashamed, he says, “Yes yes yes, I’ll get Ah Dong to supervise me when I go back!”

Seriously, since Sui fu-baihu became Sui-qianhu, and also gaining power over the Northern Administrative Court, his authority grows increasingly day by day. Before this, Sui Zhou was already rather adept at lecturing others, and now when he gets this fierce, Tang Fan does not dare to make a sound.

Sui Zhou says, “How will Ah Dong be able to restrict you? From now on, after you exchange your salary for cash, submit half of it to me, I will keep it for you. Next time, after you finish spending the money you have and need more, you will have to tell me, and only after I agree can you use it.”

He has never liked to put his nose into someone else’s business, and the only unrelated things that Sui Zhou interferes in are mostly Tang Fan’s. And fortunately they are this close in their relationship, otherwise if outsiders heard him, they would definitely find him hard to understand and may even get into an argument with Sui Zhou.

However, for an eccentric person like Tang-daren, he instead nods gleefully, “That’s great! With you watching me, I will no longer be such a spendthrift!”

And since then, aside from dealing with the tasks of the Northern Administrative Court, Sui-qianhu now has to handle Tang-daren’s finances when he gets home. He commands power both at home and in public, and also the envy of others.

===

Notes:

*副千户 fu qianhu

Qianhu is the rank that Sui Zhou officially bears, while fu 副 means vice.

*仙���楼 xian ke lou

This is the very expensive restaurant that Wang Zhi brought Tang Fan to in previous chapters.

*万通 Wan Tong 

As Royal Consort Wan’s brother, he is head of the Northern Administrative Courts, but is demoted due to his involvement in the missing children’s case.

[shadowsndaisies]

Dinner Prep and Dangerous Eyes [b.b.]

a/n: Happy Turkey Day!

TGW19 → Day #1 → Dinner Prep and Dangerous Eyes

Fandom: Avengers

Pairing: Bucky Barnes

WC: 2192

synopsis: There’s a special look in a person’s eyes when they gaze at someone they care for, there’s no other look quite like it.

masterlist                     holiday masterlist

“I don’t see why you have to hire someone, Tony. We’re perfectly capable of cooking dinner on our own,” Vision argued as the large group of people looked at you skeptically. 

“Maybe, maybe not, she is a trained chef, with a very successful place, and she won’t burn anything out of incompetence,” Tony shot back, his eyes darting over to Clint, Shuri, and Sam. 

“(Y/n), darling, walk with me, please,” Tony called to you and offered you his hand before guiding you out of the conference room where he had met up with you. 

“I think it’s kind of funny that they haven’t realized who you are yet,” he stated as you both arrived at the elevator. 

“Well, I’m not always out front, Tony, it’s not their fault,” you argue. 

“It’s just a group of superheroes who save the worlds once a year and none of them noticed that you are the wonderful head chef and owner of our favorite place in town,” Tony shrugged. 

“To be fair you didn’t mention my last name,” you note. 

“That would’ve given it away! After all, even they can’t miss the bright sign above the restaurant,” Tony scoffed. 

When you arrive on the communal floor you spot a gorgeous kitchen and small smile takes your lips, “Did you design this or was it Pep?”

“All Pep,” he admitted. 

“I love that woman,” you nod walking forwards. 

You stop when you see three people who had not been down in the conference room with you earlier. 

“Boys,” you greet as Peter Parker, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes look at you with smiles. 

“Hiya Doll,” Bucky greeted. 

“See these three recognized you,” Tony pressed. 

“These three are in the restaurant more than anyone else, excluding you Tones,” you shake your head. 

“What can I say, it’s my favorite place,” Tony shrugged and you rolled your eyes. 

“Hello, Sargent Barnes,” you greeted the man in return, ignoring your old friend. 

“Stark mentioned you’re the one in charge of Thanksgiving Dinner, need any help,” Steve asked as you and Bucky stared at each other for a moment longer. 

“I’d love some help, Captian,” you smile at the blonde. 

“I wanna help too!” Peter chimed and your eye twitched. 

“Maybe,” you said skeptically. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Peter frowned. 

“Don’t get me wrong, kid, I absolutely adore you, but I’ve seen you drop a fair amount of things since I met you, including food,” you shrug. 

“I guess that’s fair,” Peter mumbled. 

“I didn’t say no, but you’re not going near anything important,” you decide and you can’t help the smile that spreads when his eyes light back up. 

“You won’t regret it, Miss (Y/l/n)!” he promised. 

“I know,” you nodded before turning back to the kitchen. 

“Why don’t we leave the beautiful chef alone to get acquainted with the kitchen before she has to get busy, write up a list and we’ll get the stuff,” Tony hollered walking out. Steve followed with Peter.

“I’ll leave you to it, doll,” Bucky decided. 

“Or you could stay and help?” you offer with a flirty look.

Bucky was a resident at the bar in your restaurant, he would come by once a week with Steve and Sam, once with just Steve, and then two nights on his own. Bucky was your favorite costumer, he’d enjoy his drink and talk to you whenever you had a few minutes to spare, of course, you made time for him all the time.

“I ever tell you that those eyes are a dangerous thing, doll,” he smirked walking back over to you. 

“I think you might’ve mentioned once or twice,” you gleam. 

“What do you need, sugar?”

“Someone who can help me navigate this kitchen,” you shrug stepping even closer to him. 

“That all?” he shoots back as he takes a step closer too. 

“Some company?” you add with one more step and then you found yourself inches apart. 

“You have the prettiest eyes, doll,” he whispered, tucking a loose lock of hair behind your ear. 

“I thought they were dangerous?” you remind him. 

“They’re dangerous because they’re gorgeous,” his voice is so soft that you just stare at him. 

“You’re a flatterer James Barnes,” you say softly and his hands reach for yours. 

“Only for you, doll,” he promises and you smile, looking down. 

You step back and pull him with you towards the counter, hiding your gaze for a moment. You had developed a special connection with James after he started showing up to the restaurant. There was something calming about him, and your eyes would always light up when you saw him in your restaurant. 

“Alright, Tony gave me a list of what he wants me to make and now we need to do inventory,” you state and use the scrunchie on your wrist to tie your hair back. 

James steps behind you and wraps one arm around your waist while looking at the list over your shoulder. 

“Yeah, quite the list,” he scoffs, “Tony expects you to cook all of this?”

“It’s not so bad, I seem to have acquired a very handsome sous chef,” you note, turning to him.

“Sugar, I think you’re overestimating my ability in a kitchen,” He tells you as you start scribbling down ingredients, organized by each dish. 

“Oh I don’t know about that Sarge, I remember you wooing me with homemade lasagna after closing a few weeks ago,” you remind the man and he chuckles. 

“We were drunk and I remember a distinct amount of smoke coming out of that oven,” he negates. 

“So we got a little distracted,” you shrugged. 

“We nearly burnt your restaurant down,” he grabs the pen from your hand. 

“Nearly is the keyword, plus we are not drunk this time, yet,” you offer and he laughs. 

It’s this big booming sounds that heat you up inside because it’s so full and heartening. That’s how Steve and Peter find the two of you 20 minutes later. The two fo you still laughing. James is laughing so hard, as he looks at you, a pen behind his ear. Both of your palms are flat on the counter as your head is bowed down, shoulders shaking with laughter. 

“Did we miss something?” Steve inquires with a knowing smile as the two come up opposite the counter. 

“Steve!” your head shoots up with a bright look. “You are the perfect person! He can cook, can’t he?” you address the blonde. 

“Who, Buck?” Steve asks and you nod. “Of course he can! You think his mom would’ve let him grow up without knowing? You think my mom would’ve?” Steve shakes his head. 

“James Barnes, you lied to me!” you whirl around on the brunette who sends his best friend a betrayed look.

“Who’s side are you on, punk?” James shouts. 

“No sides, Jerk,” Steve shot back.

“How can we help, Miss (y/n)?” Peter interrupts with a smile and your level the boy with a look. 

“Do you call them Mr. Rogers or Mr. Bucky, no!” you point at the boy who seems surprised. “You are aware that they are older than me, right!”

“Uhm-uh…” Peter stuttered. “Sorry?” he offered and your face broke into another smile. 

Both you and bucky start laughing again and Steve can’t help but chuckle too. “They’re messing with you kid, don’t mind them, they get like this whenever they’re together,” Steve shakes his head. 

“No, not always,” you sober and tear the top paper odd the notepad before you and hand it to Peter and Steve. “That’s everything I need, Bucky helped me figure out what you guys had and what you didn’t.”

“Alright,” Steve nodded. “Let’s go, Queens,” he said tapping the counter and addressing Peter. “You two,” he adds pointing and you and James, “stay out of trouble, please.”

Bucky helps you find pots, pans and serving dishes that you organize and set to the side. When Steve and Peter return you had begun cooking prep. Bucky helps you organize the new groceries and soon enough the kitchen is smelling fantastic. Throughout the day different members of the team trickle in and out of the kitchen becoming taste-testers for whatever was available. 

By 8 PM the entire team has dressed up a bit and they’re all seated in a dining room James helps you wheel a cart in, and even you had changed. You smile as you sit down. Minutes later the food is being passed around and once everyone is happy with their first plate Tony taps his wine glass and calls everyone’s attention to him. 

“Alright before we dig into this beautiful looking meal, there are some things that need to be said. First, I’m very glad to see us all here today, and I do mean all, we are a family. There are times where I want to strangle you all or ship you off-world,” this gains a few laughs, “but I”m very grateful for you all. I’d be leading a very different life now, if not for you. That being said there is one person here today who deserves special recognition. Miss (Y/n) (Y/L/N) and I gotta be honest guys I was disappointed that only the Capsicle, Buckaroo and kid figured it out. But our favorite restaurant is owned by this beautiful woman who I’ve grown up knowing. And she cooked tonight’s wonderful meal.” He pauses as everyone claps, but your eyes focus on Bucky who was sitting beside you, he whispered something lost to everyone else in the room over the sounds of clapter but your eyes gleam and smile widens as you hold back a laugh and Peter and Steve see it, they’ve been seeing it, all day long. 

Tony drones on a for a few minutes longer before he says the words everyone had been anticipating, “let’s eat!”

Dinner goes by over the course of hours, and it’s late into the night when a fair amount of the food had been cleared away, dishes piled high and many, many empty bottles were littered here and there. Bucky was sitting with you on the floor, leaning back against a sofa. 

“Mr. Rogers, sir?” Peter spoke up from where he found the Captain in the kitchen. 

“It’s Steve, kid, and you know it,” The blonde turned his attention away from his best friend and favorite chef.

“Does Bucky like (Y/n)?” Peter spits out in a fast-paced sentence but Steve caught it and he smiled. His gaze went back to the two in question. Her empty wine glass was on the coffee table and her head was on his shoulder as the two looked at each other, whispering secrets, laughing and holding each other. 

“I think so, Queens,” Steve nodded. 

“And she likes him?” Peter asked as a follow-up.

“I think she does,” he affirms. 

“Do you think they know?” Peter asks a third question and this time Steve pauses to look them. 

Steve stares at the two, the way they interact, and then he smiles, “I actually think that they do, Pete,” there’s a light chuckle to his answer. 

“How do you know?” Peter presses with a furrowed brow. 

“It’s in their eyes, kid, look at how they look at each other,” Steve sighs. 

“Have you ever looked at anyone like that?” the question is out of Peter’s mouth before he could comprehend and Steve takes a deep breath. 

“Once, a long time ago,” he answers, and places his hands on the boy’s shoulders and starts guiding him away. “Let’s give them some privacy, Queens.”

When Steve and Peter left there was only Bucky and you in the room. 

“Thanks for helping me, James,” you mutter softly, looking into his eyes as your head resting on his chest. 

“Nowhere I’d rather be, doll,” he promised meeting your gaze.

“Your eyes are really pretty too,” you note suddenly and his lips curl into a smile.

“Yeah?”

“Definitely, they’re dangerous too,” you add. 

“Why?” he presses. 

“Because when I see them I don’t ever want to stop looking at them,” you whisper. 

You were not sober, but you weren’t drunk out of your mind either. There was just more courage in your veins. And after spending all day by his side you really didn’t want to ever go another day without seeing him at all. 

He was just staring at you now, not saying anything, just his blue eyes focusing on you as if he could see into your soul. He was also so incredibly close, just an inch or two away. And then, he wasn’t. His lips, full and pink, were pressing against yours and you pressed back. You were in his lap in an instant, one hand in his hair the other on his shoulder. He had one pressed to your cheek and the other wrapped in your locks. And you were happy, you were so happy. No, you were thankful, from the first day Tony walked him into your restaurant, to how he looked at you. No one but him ever looked at you like that, and you never want him to stop.

[mrsimoshen]

I’m Your Private Dancer

Title: I’m Your Private Dancer

Link: I'm Your Private Dancer on AO3

Square filled: Human Cas

Ship: Castiel/Michael

Rating: Mature

Tags: Human AU, human!Cas, human!michael, Prostitution/male escort Cas, Client Michael, Lingerie, Anal Plug, implied cross-dressing, Anal Sex

Summary: Male escort Castiel meets a client. 

Word count: 2738

created for @spnkinkbingo

tagging: @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell​, @silvaxus, @blakechaos08, @princerusso, @masterpieceofturkeycleverness   @ajcza​, @buggre-alle-thisss-ineffability​, @brieflymaximumprincess​, @captain-winchester-27​

Fic below the cut:

All the men come in these places And the men are all the same You don't look at their faces And you don't ask their names You don't think of them as human You don't think of them at all You keep your mind on the money Keeping your eyes on the wall

  Castiel Novak snorts as Tina’s voice croons on. He’s always thought the dancer in that song was a metaphor for something else, but it’s a bit of an irony that this song would come up on the radio just as he’s getting ready for an appointment.

Unlike the narrator of the song, however, Castiel doesn’t keep his clients at arm’s length. He knows the name of each, knows their faces, their voices, just as he knows the preferences of every man he regularly meets. Of course, it’s about the money – Castiel would be lying if he claimed otherwise, and he’s many things, but not a liar – but if he didn’t enjoy what he does, he would have chosen a different career path a long time ago.

Today, he’s wearing silky thigh-highs and a garter belt along with a pair of low-cut panties and a slinky camisole, all in darkest black with green lace accents. His client likes it when he can easily slide into him, so Cas took care in opening himself up earlier, and now he can feel the familiar weight of the glass plug in his hole. He’s half-hard from all that, and will probably remain so all throughout the evening, but his client enjoys that, too.

Cas hums along to the refrain as he carefully applies just a bit of make-up. It’s very subtle, almost unnoticeable to anyone who doesn’t know the trick, but it makes his eyes appear larger, their blue more intense. It’s not really necessary for the client he’s meeting, but it’s a habit, and he likes the effect.

Make-up done, Castiel gets up – shivering a bit as the weight of the plug inside him makes itself known again and silk brushes against his skin – and walks to his cupboard to select this evening’s wardrobe.

He has a wide range of choice, there – the jeans and shirts he prefers for when he doesn’t work, tailored suits and leather pants and jackets, fine loafers and heavy biker boots, even a few dresses for one particular client he’s since stopped seeing. Throwing the dresses out seemed wasteful, however, so Castiel carefully stored them in their bags and let them live in his cupboard.

Today, he picks out a suit he knows is a favorite of his client. “It brings out your eyes,” he’s always told, and since it’s surprisingly comfortable (which really should be expected, it was made-to-measure and cost a pretty penny, it should be comfortable), Castiel enjoys wearing it, too.

Suit put on and shoes set to the side, Cas stretches out on his couch and lets himself day-dream about how the evening might progress.

His clients all treat him well, mutual respect the most important aspect of the whole deal – if Cas feels disrespected as a human being once because of the service he provides, people find themselves permanently removed from his client list fast. And Castiel also has the connections to ruin a person’s life in interesting ways.

The man he’s meeting today has a taste for European food, the authentic version and not the Americanized deal, but it’s anyone’s guess what nation’s cuisine he’ll be treated to tonight. What they’ll do after that… well, Castiel is horny, so he hopes he’ll be taken to his client’s home after and get fucked a few times, but it’s equally likely his lover for the night will take him to some art show or concert or even the movies after dinner. It’s all happened before. (Castiel’s favorite memory is the time this particular man fucked him, slow and intimate, in a VIP box at the opera where, in theory, anyone who looked into the shadows of their box could have seen them. He spent almost the whole opera on his lover’s cock, and that night was spectacular, once they were in the privacy of his client’s home.)

But he knows the man’s tastes in that area, too, and there’s no opera shown tonight that might catch his fancy. He’s not quite as up-to-date on the movies, and there’s always an art gallery somewhere who’s having a show.

Cas smiles as his phone gives a quiet chirp to alert him to an incoming text message. None of his clients know his actual address, they just know the address of the private, guarded parking lot where he habitually leaves his car. He needs ten minutes from his apartment to that parking lot, and he’s told his clients to inform him when they’ve arrived. Those ten minutes waiting sometimes yield... interesting results.

I’m here, darling.

Castiel slips his shoes on and grabs his keys, phone, wallet, and coat. It’s cold outside, it’s only February, so he adds his favorite scarf to the ensemble and leaves his apartment.

 His client’s car is idling in its spot when Castiel opens the door and slides into the passenger seat, and he’s very glad about the warmth enveloping him.

“Hello, Michael.”

“Hello, Castiel,” his client returns with a warm smile and leans over the stick shift and hand brake to greet him with a soft brush of lips on lips. Castiel smiles and angles his head into the soft kiss. Michael is one of the affectionate clients, and Castiel likes the gentle touches an evening with Michael always includes. It feels a little as if they’re truly a couple out on a date night.

Michael waits until Castiel has put on his seat belt before pulling out into the traffic. He’s one of those drivers in whose car Castiel thinks he could actually fall asleep if the distance was long enough. He’s not usually one for sleeping in anyone’s car, an accident that cost him a childhood friend having left a deep impression, but Michael is calm and controlled in everything he does (unless he’s fucking Castiel in the privacy of his own bed. Then, there’s only wild passion in him.) and he always weaves through traffic so smoothly Castiel never felt anything but safe in his car.

“Where are we going?”

“Wait and see, darling,” Michael chuckles and makes a turn. “I do hope you enjoy tapas.”

Cas does, especially if they’re served in a small restaurant that looks as if it was imported from Spain, beams, stones and furniture. There are large pieces of jamón serrano hanging from the ceiling, the Spanish music in the background is just low enough to not interrupt a conversation but lend a certain ambience to the whole restaurant, and the food is perfect. Castiel enjoys every bite he’s served, enjoys the sour wine that he’d usually never pick (he has a sweet tooth when it comes to wine) but that fits perfectly with the dishes they’re served.

Michael, who sticks to sparkling water, takes a single sip on Castiel’s insistence and agrees with him with a smile, licking his lips. “It does compliment the food very well,” he hums. Castiel shivers a little at the tone of voice.

Michael surprises him by driving to his own apartment after dinner. When he notices Cas’ questioning look, he grins.

“I thought we could watch a movie at my place,” he murmurs, using an upcoming red light to stroke a hand up Castiel’s leg slowly. “I can’t wait to see what you’ve got beneath that suit for me today, darling.”

Castiel shivers a little and lets his legs fall a little wider with a smile.

“Would you like to guess?” he invites, and Michael laughs and pulls his hand back as the light changes to green.

“Let me fantasize a moment longer.”

 Michael’s apartment is in one of the more expensive parts of town, and Castiel has enough information about his lover of the night to know that Michael works for a high-end law firm and comes from a rich family background. Castiel himself is rather expensive, and he knows from experience Michael has a taste for the finer things in life. Which is probably a compliment in itself.

“Get comfortable,” Michael invites him with a smile, taking Castiel’s coat to hang it up neatly. “Would you like a drink, or coffee?”

“Coffee, please,” Castiel requests with a smile. He wanders further into the apartment as Michael goes to convince his high-end coffee machine to produce the dark liquid and decides to be just a bit of a tease. He leaves his shoes neatly by the living room doorway, then drops his tie on the way to the couch. By the time he’s stretched out on the ridiculously comfortable piece of furniture, his shirt is unbuttoned just enough so that a teasing hint of green lace is visible against his skin.

Michael doesn’t notice at first, concentrating on the coffee cups in his hands, but when he sits down and hands Castiel his coffee, his eyes widen.

“Oh, you little tease,” he breathes with a grin. Castiel laughs and sips his coffee.

“Now, I would be a tease if I didn’t plan to deliver,” he corrects calmly. “I very much intend to deliver, dear Michael.”

“I very much appreciate that,” Michael sinks down onto the couch himself, close enough to Castiel he can feel the other man’s body warmth. “Any preference on the movie?”

Castiel glances over Michael’s pre-selection and decides on one he’s already seen but could stand to watch a second time. He’s guessing they won’t see the end of the movie, not if he starts seducing Michael as soon as they have emptied their coffee mugs. Michael always lets Castiel make the first move, always lets Castiel decide how far they go, and Castiel appreciates it. (Once, he’d told Michael to ravish him, make him forget everything around them. He’s definitely going to do that again someday, because that night ranks top amongst those he’ll never forget.)

For now, he’s content to lean against Michael’s side and sip his coffee as they watch the beginning of the movie. It’s really good coffee, and Michael knows by now how Castiel prefers his, and so it’s not to be rushed but savored.

Half an hour into the movie, Castiel finally sets his empty mug down on the coffee table next to Michael’s and stretches before turning to Michael. He softly brushes his mouth over Michael’s, flicks his tongue out just a little bit, and Michael sighs and cups his face, pulls him into a deeper kiss.

They take their time, kisses turning deeper and hungrier slowly. Castiel ends up straddling Michael’s legs, almost in his lap as they kiss. Michael groans when Castiel leans back to further unbutton his shirt, revealing more of the black silk and green lace beneath.

“Touch me,” he invites in a rough whisper, and Michael’s hands almost fly to his sides, stroke up over black silk reverently.

“Get rid of the shirt,” Michael murmurs, his eyes on the way his hands look on the silk. Castiel laughs and complies, and then gasps when gentle fingers rub and tease at one of his nipples through the material. Michael alternates between stroking soft silk and rougher lace over the sensitive nub until Castiel is biting his lower lip and breathing noticeably faster.

“I want to see you,” Michael murmurs, finally showing mercy on the nipple he was playing with. Permission to touch given, he’s slipping back into the dominant role he usually prefers when they meet. Castiel smiles and slides off his lap, taking a few steps back to let Michael see all of him. He takes his time undoing his belt, the button on his pants and the zipper, and when he finally lets the garment fall, Michael moans and presses a hand against his own crotch.

“Like what you see?” Castiel purrs, slowly walking back towards his lover for the night. “I chose the green just for you.”

“Oh, I very much like what I see,” Michael breathes, looking Castiel up and down slowly. “Damn, you’re pretty, darling.”

“Why, thank you, Michael,” Castiel purrs, slowly climbing back up onto the couch and into Michael’s lap. Michael shivers and strokes up his thighs. He makes a low sound when he notices Castiel wears the panties over the garter belt – meaning he can take them off and leave belt and stockings in place.

“Very nice,” he murmurs, stroking up underneath the camisole. “You’re spoiling me, Castiel.”

Castiel laughs quietly and raises his arms to let Michael strip the camisole from him. He moans as Michael leans forward to lick and suck at the nipple he’d neglected before, buries his hands in Michael’s dark hair. “Oh…”

“Always so sensitive for me,” Michael hums and blows cool air over wet skin. Castiel shivers and watches Michael’s eyes darken further. “Bedroom.”

They end up leaving a trail of Michael’s clothes from the couch to the bed, and Castiel ends up on his back on the sheets, Michael on his hands and knees above him. His lover looks him up and down hungrily before kissing him again, harder and deeper this time until Castiel is out of breath and clinging to the soft cotton.

Michael peels him out of the panties with teasing touches, then spends a few minutes licking at Castiel’s hard cock before reaching to the bedside table for the lube. Cas pulls his knees up and bares himself, clenches down on the glass plug inside him with a low moan and his eyes on the impressive erection between Michael’s legs. Michael groans at seeing the glass between his cheeks.

“How open are you, darling?”

“Enough you can slide right in,” Cas promises huskily and then moans when Michael lightly tugs on the plug, pulling it out a little before letting it slide back in. He keeps doing it until Cas is moaning and begging for him to please, please fuck him, and Cas nearly sobs in relief when the plug gets pulled free finally and he hears the distinct sound of a condom wrapper being opened.

Michael’s cock pushing into him has him whine in need, because no matter how nice a glass plug is, it will never come close to an actual cock in Castiel’s opinion, and Michael is big enough to stretch him a little even after wearing the plug for hours.

His lover of the night is also a man of infinite patience, so the first slide in is slow and gentle, until Michael is as deep as he can get and Castiel is panting and moaning, feeling so damn full. “Please, move,�� he gasps out, and Michael chuckles and complies, guiding Cas’ legs up around his hips before starting to roll his hips, slow and gentle and just enough to drive Cas slowly but surely mad.

He’s begging in a constant, breathless stream of words by the time Michael takes pity on him and starts moving faster and harder, and Castiel nearly screams when a hand wraps around his cock and starts stroking him in time with the thrusts into him.

Michael’s cock rubs insistently over his prostate, and Cas lasts only a handful of thrusts more before arching his back and shouting, covering Michael’s hand and his own belly with his release. Michael groans deep and low as Castiel’s hole clenches down on him hard but keeps fucking Castiel until he sinks back into the mattress. Only then does his lover let go himself, coming with a few more hard thrusts into Castiel’s twitching hole.

Cas pants and watches as Michael does the same. In a moment, his green-eyed lover of the night will pull out and get rid of the condom, and there’ll be sparkly water fresh from the fridge for him and a warm, wet washcloth to clean up with. Michael will curl up around him for a while and they’ll talk about whatever comes to mind, and maybe, they’ll have sex again if the mood strikes them.

In the morning, there will be a white envelope with the sum Michael owes him in cash, and Castiel will return to his own apartment and shower, and in a few days, he’ll get ready for the next appointment.

 Yes, Cas is a private dancer, but he likes dancing to his own tune.

[epubdlcom]

Taste - My Life Through Food Epub is a memoir that explores the life of the acclaimed actor, director, and food enthusiast, Stanley Tucci, through the lens of his relationship with food. Tucci takes us on a culinary journey from his Italian-American upbringing in Westchester County, New York, to his travels around the world, where he has indulged in different cuisines and has discovered new tastes and flavors. The book is divided into five parts, each focusing on a different period of Tucci's life. In the first part, "Growing Up Italian-American," Tucci shares his childhood memories of the Italian food that his mother and grandmother prepared for him. He talks about the importance of food in his family and how it brought them together. In the second part, "Theater and Film," Tucci describes his early career as an actor in New York City and how his love of food and cooking led him to start his own catering business. He also shares his experiences filming movies around the world and the different foods he has tried in places like Italy, France, and Japan. In the third part, "Love and Family," Tucci talks about his personal life, including his marriages and the birth of his children. He shares his favorite family recipes and how cooking and sharing meals with loved ones has brought him joy and comfort. In the fourth part, "Travels and Adventures," Tucci takes us on a journey around the world, sharing his experiences trying different foods and exploring local markets and restaurants. He talks about his love of wine and shares his tips for pairing food and wine. In the final part, "Looking Ahead," Tucci reflects on his life and the role that food has played in shaping it. He talks about his plans for the future, including opening a restaurant and continuing to explore new flavors and cuisines. Throughout the book, Tucci shares recipes for some of his favorite dishes, including his mother's meatballs, a classic Caesar salad, and a decadent truffle risotto. He also includes anecdotes and stories about the food and the people he has met along the way, making "Taste: My Life Through Food" a captivating and enjoyable read for foodies and fans of Tucci alike. Excerpt "I have always loved food. Growing up in an Italian-American family, it was a big part of our culture and our way of life. My mother and grandmother were incredible cooks, and they taught me everything I know about Italian cuisine. From a young age, I was in the kitchen with them, learning how to make fresh pasta, homemade sauces, and all kinds of delicious dishes. As I got older and started my career as an actor, I found myself drawn to food even more. It was a way for me to connect with people and to explore different cultures and cuisines. I started my own catering business in New York City, which allowed me to combine my love of food and entertaining with my passion for the arts. Over the years, I have traveled all over the world, trying new foods and discovering new flavors. From the street markets of Bangkok to the Michelin-starred restaurants of Paris, I have had some incredible culinary experiences. But no matter where I go, I always come back to the simple pleasures of Italian food - a plate of pasta with fresh tomato sauce, a slice of crusty bread with olive oil, a glass of Chianti. In this book, I share my life story through the lens of food. From my childhood in Westchester County to my travels around the world, I explore how food has shaped my life and my career. I also share some of my favorite recipes, along with stories and anecdotes about the food and the people who have influenced me along the way. I hope that this book will inspire you to explore new flavors and to appreciate the role that food plays in our lives. Buon appetito!" Download Epub Book Read Book Online

[brigdh]

Reading Definitely Not Wednesday

Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey. A space opera set in the relatively near future. Humans have colonized Mars and the asteroid belt, and a few scattered populations make due on the moons of planets further out. There is, however, no faster-than-light travel, no contact with any solar system beyond our own, no sentient AIs, and no aliens. A major theme of the book is the culture clash between those who live on Earth or Mars – the superpowers of this future – and those who live in the Belt, where mining is the preeminent economy and life is the hardscrabble sort where even water and oxygen have to be imported, never mind concepts like justice and equality. Different characters move from one place to the other or switch allegiances, but their origins are as baked in as we would regard ethnicity or nationality. As one character puts it, "A childhood spent in gravity shaped the way he saw things forever." Corey (who is actually two separate dudes writing under a penname) does a wonderful job of fleshing out the background worldbuilding. I loved references to fungal-culture whiskey, Bhangra as the default elevator muzak, hand gestures exaggerated to be seen through a spacesuit, and largely unintelligible localized slang (“Bomie vacuate like losing air,” the girl said with a chuckle. “Bang-head hops, kennis tu?” / “Ken,” Miller said. /“Now, all new bladeboys. Overhead. I’m out.”). It feels like a more detailed world than a lot of sci-fi does. Which is good, because the characters are not all that compelling. The two POVs are Jim Holden and Detective Miller. Holden is the second-in-command on an unimportant spaceship that works as a freight hauler, moving ice back and forth between the Belt and Saturn. Things change dramatically when a mysterious someone attacks their ship and kills everyone except for Holden and a few others, and he finds himself centrally involved in the runup to war. He has the most generic action-movie-hero personality I can imagine, with no discernable characteristics except 'idealistic' (and I really only know that because other people keep telling him he is), kinda nervous about being suddenly thrust into command but doing a good job, a womanizer (but see, it's okay because he just keeps genuinely falling in love with so many women!), and earnest. He's fine. He's not even objectionable, just incredibly boring. He comes with a crew of entirely indistinguishable followers that I couldn't keep straight, but that's all right because most of them get killed off so I no longer had to try to remember who was who. He also develops a romance that is 100% unbelievable, but I suppose that's what action-movie-heroes do, so who's even surprised. Miller is a detective on Ceres, the largest city in the Belt, who's been hired by a rich family to track down their anarchist, slumming daughter. Miller is an incredibly cliche noir protagonist - alcoholic, divorced, not as good as he used to be, cynical, a little bit corrupt but underneath it all he still remembers his good intentions – but at least that means he has more of a personality than Jim, even if it's a personality you've seen a thousand times before. On the other hand, Miller becomes obsessed with this dead/missing girl in a way that is painfully stereotypical Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Two things kept this from ruining Leviathan Wakes for me. One, Miller is at least somewhat self-aware about it: This was why he had searched for her. Julie had become the part of him that was capable of human feeling. The symbol of what he could have been if he hadn’t been this. There was no reason to think his imagined Julie had anything in common with the real woman. Meeting her would have been a disappointment for them both. And two, there's a twist near the end that allows Julie to finally have her own voice in the text, and not exist solely as Miller's imagined dependance on her. It takes almost half the book for Miller and Holden to finally cross paths, at which point the missing-girl mystery and the war plot combine and take a twist for a direction I DID NOT SEE COMING. I am ambivalent on whether to spoil this; on the one hand, I read it unprepared and it was incredibly awesome to experience it that way. On the other hand, I suspect this is information that will be a determining factor for many people on whether they want to read it or not. So: halfway through, Leviathan Wakes takes a wild jump and becomes about a zombie outbreak. I would not have previously thought that 'space opera' and 'zombie apocalypse' are two genres that should be combined, but the tension and excitement skyrocket once the book takes this turn, transforming it from average quality to 'I CANNOT STOP READING, MUST FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT'. So, good choice! The sequence with Miller and Holden trapped on a small space station trying to sneak their way past zombie hordes is one of the most thrilling I've read in ages. Leviathan Wakes is the first book in a series (apparently it was originally supposed to be a trilogy, but there's currently eight books out with at least one more planned, along with a batch of short stories) and has also become a show on the Syfy network that I haven't seen. I feel like I've spent a lot of this review complaining, but honestly I mostly enjoyed the book and am planning to read the sequels. The fact that people seem to like the characters from future books more than these ones certainly doesn't hurt! Pig/Pork: Archaeology, Zoology and Edibility by Pia Spry-Marques. A nonfiction book about everything remotely related to the farming and eating of pigs. I expected from the subtitle and the author's personal background that archaeology would be the main focus, but it turns out that's really only the first two chapters, which cover the Paleolithic hunting of wild boar and the original domestication of pigs. The other chapters turn to topics as diverse as experiments on feeding farmed pigs leftovers from restaurants, the spread of foot-and-mouth disease, a special Spanish ham called ibérico de bellota which can only be fed acorns, genetically modifiying pigs so their manure would contain less phosporus, sunburn in pigs, minature pet pigs, organ donation between humans and pigs, the terrifying tapeworms to be acquired from eating raw pork, why pork is a 'white' meat, how to make sausages, theories on why pork is neither halal nor kosher, the use of an enzyme from pig pancreases in wine production, EU food-safety regulations on traditional pork dishes, Cuba's 'Bay of Pigs', the Pig War between the US and Canada in 1859, and Oliver Cromwell's favorite pig breed. Basically if it has the remotest connection to the title, Spry-Marques has included it. She even includes recipes for each chapter, though some of them are clearly more for amusement than actual consumption – I can't imagine anyone having just finished a chapter on how eating raw pork will give you cysts in your brain is eager to try figatellu, a type of uncooked sausage from France. And it would take a braver foodie than me to taste "Asian-inspired pork uterus with green onion and ginger". In fact, as is probably not surprising for any book which touches on factory farming however briefly, you will probably come away not wanting to eat pork at all for a while. Spry-Marques's writing is breezy and conversational, which kept me turning the pages even when the structure was a bit scattered. I wish it were more focused, but it's a great book for anyone who enjoys popular science, history, or food writing. I read this as an ARC via NetGalley. Song of Blood & Stone by L. Penelope. A YA fantasy novel with some unusual elements. Rather than being set in vaguely medieval England or a dystopian sci-fi future, we're in a country where the technology seems to be around 1900: cars and electric lights exist, but they're restricted to rich cities, and someone coming from rural poverty might well have never seen either. Magic exists, but comes from one's heritage; you're either born with it or not. In Elsira, where our story is set, it's rare to the point of nonexistence. Our heroine Jasminda, however, does have magic, due to her father having been a refugee from the neighboring country of Lagrimar, where magic is common. Elsira and Lagrimar have been constantly at war for hundreds of years, but are separated by a magical Barrier which allows no one to pass through, except on rare occasions when a temporary breach happens and violence erupts. Elsirans are light-skinned and Lagrimari are dark-skinned, so Jasminda has dealt with fairly severe racism throughout her life. The story starts when Jasminda runs across Jack, a Elsiran soldier just back from spying in Lagrimar who has super important information that must get back to the capital as soon as possible; unfortunately Jack has just been shot and is closely pursued by a troop of Lagrimari soldiers. Jasminda and Jack team up, fall in love, and try to prevent the coming outbreak of war. The most revealing thing I can say about Song of Blood & Stone is that it's very, very YA. (As you could probably guess, what with its title that fits exactly into the pattern of the 'YA title' meme currently going around tumblr.) Almost everything that happens is easily predictable from the back cover (Jack's long-withheld backstory is clearly supposed to be a shocking twist, but it's obvious from the moment he appears), the prose is mediocre but fine, good and bad guys are clearly signalled, the real world parallels (racism, treatment of refugees, domestic abuse) are good-hearted but extremely Social Justice 101. On the plus side, the beginning was the worst part and it got better and better as it went along; several developments near the very end were so interesting that I'm tempted to read the sequel, despite my initial boredom. Overall it's not a bad book, but I'd only recommend it to people who are extremely affectionate of the most repetitive tropes of the YA genre. I read this as an ARC from a GoodReads giveaway.

[DW link for easier commenting]

[weddinghairxgu]

Emporium’s Phillips Using Business Skills At WVU

It is a aim of ours to make sure the best high quality and safest animal toys and food for your pet. We're actively involved in many native charities and we even host Pet Fest every year! Create-It boutiques is owned and operated by sisters Stefanie O'Keeffe and Joanna Redfern, along with an enthusiastic group of local artists and collaborators. And in fact, we’ve spent over a half-million dollars and sanitation and gear to make sure the safety of our visitors and our team members,” said Jordan. It was made in appreciation to your commitment to the safety of others. Our mission is to make our our prospects completely happy by offering wonderful meals and distinctive service. Olivia's Food emporium affords a big collection of ready-made appetizers,aspect dishes, primary courses, and desserts. The Wine emporium also provides a wide choice for the beer drinker, together with home, micro-brewed, and imported beers. The main Oak emporium is Mount Airy's premier buying, dining, and leisure complex. Mostly famous for its metallic items and handicrafts of woodwork and bamboo, the products will not be just of superb high quality but can be found at cheap charges too and most well-known is Sahara Handicrafts and Handlooms Association in Sakchi advanced. Our store is packed with enjoyable, practical, wholesome, and onerous-to-discover goods for canine, cats, birds, and small animals.

A enjoyable place to visit and store with distinctive and numerous collections of antiques and different collectibles altering daily. This quirky, vintage shop opened its doorways in December of 2019 and has been serving males locally for the final a number of months. You'll be able to add extra sections to your resume define resembling volunteer work, group involvement or honors. Due to her own expertise with hair loss, as well as seeing the magnificence industry’s overly priced wigs and merchandise, she has been reaching out to people personally with a view to enrich their lives and assist nevertheless she will. We stay up for seeing you quickly! Please take a look round our site and in case you have any questions go to our contact page and drop us a line. Finding the proper combination of attractiveness, magnificence and complexity with a motherly look that can emphasise her role as mom of the bride is a troublesome line to walk, and discovering the best balance can facilitate to reassure the bride about how issues are going on her particular day.

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The emporium, which opened Thursday, October 1, at 45990 Waterview Plaza in Sterling, represents an attempt by the regionally cherished Great American Restaurants group to reply all of the challenges posed by a COVID-19 crisis that has battered the hospitality business for close to seven months. Hopalong reloaded his guns and proceeded to the emporium, where he discovered a game all prepared for him in each sense of the word. Bit Bash: May eleven - 13, 2017: Local indie recreation collective Bit Bash worked with emporium to bring this indie recreation popup to life. Being a pet store in Ann Arbor, Michigan we perceive the native culture. The Pet emporium is an Ann Arbor, Michigan pet retailer specializing in natural, wholesome merchandise for all of your pet's needs. CHEBOYGAN, MI - This Michigan roadside emporium has been turning heads and diverting site visitors off of I-seventy five for many years. A co-worker of mine stated" have you ever been to the emporium"? We've got more than 50 brands of vodka, sixty five totally different single malt scotches, and a broad assortment of whiskeys, rums, tequilas, bourbons, and gins. The programs of motion align to deliver your consideration into every pose, the place you may find extra stamina reaching usually-uncared for connective tissue.

[hadarmarkin]

Benghazi A North African Holocaust

Between the Mediterranean Sea and the Saharan desert lays the second most populous city in Libya- Benghazi. Similar to other ancient Sephardic centers explored in this blog (e.g., Aleppo and Baghdad) Benghazi is nowadays mostly associated with “bad news”. The last decade or so has been rough on Benghazi. While the “Arab Spring” revolt ended Gaddafi’s brutal dictatorship, it also brought much destruction and chaos to the city, which was apparent from the 2012 attack on U.S. government facilities and the increasing ISIS activity.

(Above: The seafront in Benghazi)

While the future is uncertain for the people of Benghazi, the past is a source of pride for those with a connection to it. As a bridge between the Mediterranean Sea and Africa, Benghazi was an important political colony during the Greco-Roman period, and it later served as a strategic port of the Ottoman Empire. In 1911 Italy conquered Libya and made Benghazi a political and cultural stronghold of their colony. The Italian chapter (1911-1943) in Benghazi marked a new era of western influence in the history of the city. For the local Jewish community, the Italian rule presented both great opportunities due to European exposure (see impact on the cuisine ahead) as well as tragedies during the Second World War. This post will elaborate on the events of this period.

 From Berenice to Jado: A Brief Historical Overview

 The Jewish community of Benghazi is one of the most ancient communities in the Jewish diaspora. Jews settled in Benghazi as early as the 4th century B.C.E under the Greeks’ reign, and remained there until the late 1940’s. Not a single Jew remains in Benghazi today.  

(Above: Roman ruins in Benghazi) 

Historical evidence from the Roman rule (74 B.C.E) indicates that Jews in Benghazi then called Berenice, enjoyed juridical autonomy and the privileges of Roman citizens. From 115-118 C.E., members of the Jewish community participated in a revolt against the Romans. During the Byzantine era Jews suffered from constant persecution. The residents of Bernice, including its Jewish ones, fled with the Arab conquest of 660 C.E. The Arab conquerors later changed the name of the city to Benghazi (Bin Ghāzī). In the beginning of the 16th century, many Jews from Tripoli helped to repopulate Benghazi, earning their livelihood trading throughout North Africa and the Mediterranean area, or as smiths or tailors. The community continued to flourish both under the Ottomans (beginning in 1640), particularly after the arrival of Jewish merchant families from Italy.

In the 18th and 19th centuries Benghazi had 400 Jewish families divided into two groups: those originally from the city and its surrounding district of Cyrenaica (Kahal Bengazi) and those who were born in Italy or Tripoli. Although both groups recognized the authority of one rabbi, each had its own synagogue. It was a time of relative prosperity given the important role of Jewish families in reviving Benghazi as a trading center connecting Europe and Africa. Because of their commercial activities, Jews were not confined to specific area of town (unlike communities in Morocco and Tunisia), and several affluent men occupied high positions in the service of the Ottoman authorities.

(The Great Synagogue in Benghazi) 

The Italian rule (beginning in 1911) attracted more Jews from the interior of the country, as well as from Italy, to Benghazi. Although the majority of the community remained loyal to Jewish practice and kept conversing in the traditional Judeo-Arabic dialect, the Italian influence grew stronger, especially among the elite. Enchanted by Italian culture, many Jews fostered Italian as a second language, purchased Italian products, and added pasta and other Italian dishes to their kitchen (see more below). The admiration of Italy was a rather unique phenomenon in the North African landscape, as other regional Jewries (particularly the Algerian communities) were defined by their strong orientation to France

Life under Italian rule continued peacefully for the Jews until 1938. Then, as residents of an Italian Colony, Libyan Jews were subjected to the Racial Laws, enforced by the alliance between Hitler and Mussolini.  The discriminatory legislation was aimed to deny Libyan Jews from positions of power, to segregate them by prohibiting marriages with Europeans and to expel Jewish students from Italian schools.

The opening of the North African Front of World War II and particularly the Western Desert Campaign in 1940 marked further a decline in the situation for Libyan Jews. The Allied air raids on the major cities and the growing shortage of food increased the hostility against the Jews. The circumstances were particularly harsh in Benghazi and in its surrounding district of Cyrenaica, where the reoccurring exchange of power between the British forces and Italian army put the pro-British Jewish community in a vulnerable position. Jewish families from the region holding British citizenship were the first to be sent to detention centers in Italy, and later with the German invasion to Italy (1943) to Nazi concentration camps in Germany and Austria, mainly to Bergan-Belsen.

(Above: Holocaust survivors return to Libya from Bergen Belsen concentration camp, 1945)

The novel Benghazi-Bergen-Belsen by Israeli author Yossi Sucary sheds light on this unknown chapter of the Holocaust. The story was inspired by Sucary’s grandmother memoir, a survivor of Bergen-Belsen. In interviews, Sucary shares how his elementary school teacher definitively declared that only European Jews suffered from Nazi’s atrocities. The denial of his family story drove him to write this beautiful novel that bears important historical facts. The book has received several awards and was recently adapted into a play.

(Above: Yossi Sucary)

The book portrays the journey of Silvana Haggiag, a bright and urbane girl from Benghazi. Silvana is very passionate about her hometown, and her recollections unfold a happy childhood with strong family ties. Yet, she refuses to succumb to the patriarchal paradigms of her time, as she furthers her education and experiments with romantic affairs with non-Jews. Her world, though, comes to end one day, when she and her family are violently uprooted from their home. After being deported to several camps, she arrives to Bergen-Belsen. There, in addition to the hunger, mental distress and other hardships, she is being segregated for being different among the inmates. As an exotic, dark-skinned Jew, she suffers from language barriers (not understanding Yiddish) and from sexual assaults. Below is excerpt describing Silvana’s first moments in Bergen-Belsen (translation from Hebrew- H.M.):

“’Welcome to hell, Black Woman’ these were the first words she heard in Bergen-Belsen, coming from the mouth of an older man with a long face. ‘We are all Jews in here’. If it weren’t for his deep despair, he would resemble one of the Rosenzweigs she met in Benghazi. Almost all the Jews she saw in Bergen-Belsen seemed to her like members of the Rosenzweig family. Unlike her and the rest of the Libyan Jews, who went down the train car, all the prisoners in Bergen-Belsen had fair complexion. When the entered the camp Toni said: ‘there are Jews here that don’t look like us.’”

(Bengahzi-Bergen-Belsen, p. 224)

In addition to the deportations to Europe, more than 25,000 Jews, many of them from Benghazi, were deported to interment camps in Libya. The Jado camp, operated between May 1942 and January 1943, in the Tripolitania area was the largest one and most widely known among them. Survivors of Jado describe the rough living conditions in the camp, emphasizing the meager food rations, the severe space deficiency, the hard labor, and the typhus epidemic. In their accounts, they highlight the brutality of the Italian guards, which added to the general state of fear and panic. By the time the camp was liberated by British soldiers in early 1943, there were 562 dead out of the approximately 2,600 Jews deported. This is the highest number of Jewish casualties in a Muslim country during the Holocaust. Nevertheless, this number would have been higher if not for the Allies’ victory in Libya.

Learning about the mass murder of European Jews and escaping a similar fate, generated feelings of hope and redemption among the Jado Survivors, and Libyan Jews in general. These feelings and the growing intolerance towards the Jewish community, strengthened Zionism among Libyan Jews. Israel’s Independence in 1948 made it possible for most Libyan Jews to find refuge in the new country and make their dream a reality.

 Shakshuka and Beyond: The World of Jewish Libyan Cuisine

Since it is hard to isolate the Benghazi Jewish cuisine from its regional context, this segment will refer to the Libyan Jewish culinary tradition as a whole.

The Libyan Jewish cuisine has been shaped throughout the centuries from a wide array of factors including geographical location (desert and sea), the presence of foreign rulers (primarily Italian), the influence of the local Arab and Berber cooking and kosher dietary laws. As a result, Libyan Jews cook a variety of fish dishes, rely heavily on semolina as a primary grain (for Couscous and desserts) and favor lamb as their meat.

Gueta, a popular restaurant in Israel, prides itself for serving authentic Jewish Libyan food. According to the owners a typical meal will begin with a selection of appetizer salads, such as Pilpel Choome (spicy pepper spread) and Chirashi (pumpkin salad); the entrée will include Couscous, Mafroum (meat stuffed potatoes), and Chraime (fish with red spicy sauce); then finally for dessert peanut spiced tea and Sfara (semolina cake with dates).

In addition to the dishes mentioned, perhaps the greatest contribution of Libyan Jews to the Israeli/Jewish culinary repertoire is Shakshuka. Traditionally, a simple skillet of piquant sautéed tomatoes and sunny side eggs, Shakshuka is the quintessential Israeli comfort food. Whether for breakfast or dinner, from a premade mix or fresh chopped veggies, either with runny eggs or hard yolk boiled, Israelis are passionate about their Shakshuka. Albeit a rather straightforward dish, Israelis love discussing their tips and recipes. Since it is so simple to make, it is not a rare sight to see campers or IDF soldiers cooking shakshuka outdoors on portable stoves. In restaurants, one can find a whole section of Shakshukas. Balkan (with eggplants, olives and herbs), Galilee (with spinach and goat cheese) and Merguez (Spicy sausage) are just a few examples of the Shakshuka obsession. Recently, this trend made its way to restaurants in the U.S., where American chefs are now crafting their own version.

Perhaps one of the experts on the matter is Bino Gabso, also known as Doctor Shakshuka. Gabso, the chef and owner of Doctor Shakshuka, was one of the first to bring Shakshuka from home to restaurant. After years of attracting people from all over Israel and the world to his little dive in Jaffa’s flea market, he has achieved celebrity chef status and is now selling his Shakshuka mixes at stores and demoing his skills on TV shows. Below are some of Gabso’s tips, followed by his recipe for a classic Libyan Shakshuka:

1.    Tomatoes: Fresh, bright red and ripe! Shakshuka is all about yummy tomatoes, so pick good ones.

2.   Paprika: Use a generous amount of high quality sweet paprika. The paprika absorbs the tomatoes’ liquids, and adds much zest to the dish.

3.   Eggs: Gabso insists that room temperature is key in order for the egg whites and yolks to harden at the same time.

4.   Oil: The recipe does require a lot of oil. In order to make it healthier, lower the flame when the Shakshuka is almost done. After a minute, the oil will appear in the rim of the skillet. At that point, cover the skillet, and tilt it to pour out the oil.

(Above: Doctor Shakshuka in action)

 Doctor Shakshuka’s: Classic Shakshuka Recipe

 Ingredients for 4 people:

 ¼ cup canola oil

1 thinly sliced chili pepper

10 garlic cloves minced

Feta cheese, cubed (optional)

8 sliced tomatoes

Salt

1 spoonful sweet paprika

Chili flakes

6 eggs

(Above: the prepping)

1.    Warm oil in the pan. Add chili pepper and fry it.

2. Add garlic, and fry for one minute.

3.   Add tomatoes and salt. Let it simmer until the tomatoes are softened.

4.    Stir in paprika.

5.   Break the eggs, and cook until they are ready.

6. Add cubes of feta cheese

7.   Serve warm with fresh bread.

(Above: Final result)

Be’teavon (Hebrew- enjoy eating)

[cnfhumss12a-blog]

The Light and Shadows of Binondo

By Kiana Lane R. Altoveros

My family loves the Chinese culture so much that our house is filled with antiques from Binondo, charms from the local chinese stalls in nearby malls, and Buddha statues from random bazaars that we passed by. My mom used to tell me that the Chinese are so keen on good luck that they were rich partly because of it. Take note that no one in my immediate family was Chinese but we somehow truly believed in what they believed in.

I have never been to the skeletons of Binondo. Yes, I have visited the famous Binondo Church to celebrate mass but other than that, I can never truly say that I have been to Binondo with a hundred percent conviction. Being raised in the province, the image of Binondo was painted to me by the media that is particularly in television. Telecasts of the Chinese New Year celebrations every year showcased odd-looking dragons, bright red lanterns as bandiritas, and so many flavors of tikoy. I always wonder why the attributes of the sticky snack was considered lucky.

In all honesty, Binondo to me was nothing but an extravagant venue for another animal-labelled zodiac year ahead.

Travelling to the Chinese capital in a jeepney was suffocating because it only has a seat capacity of 20 people. To add to that, the driver squished 25 people inside to earn more. My pink cropped sweater made it worse as all walks of life tried inserting themselves on the two parallel rugged cushions. Passengers were carrying plastic bags that were colored with red and white stripes that was filled with clothes and bags; Divisoria was just minutes away from Binondo. Errands at noon were not at all appealing, as the heat of the sun blended with the smoke of Metro Manila that seeped through every inch of our skin. As I tried distracting myself from the pollution that my provincial lungs were inhaling, I thought of my first stop.

The Binondo Church stood tall amidst the rise of the buildings reflecting the contrasts that the modern technology has brought in historical sites. With its sturdy stone facade facing the flow of traffic in the busy streets of Ongpin, Spanish Architect Domingo de la Cruz González would never have imagined that his design would somehow survive to see what Binondo has become today. The bloody red lines seemed to highlight and reflect the disasters that it had experienced. I have never seen red to be an important element in the design structure of a church before. I must say that this church bears the in betweens of the Spanish Colonization and the Chinese cultural impact in the Philippines.

Quickly gathering my thoughts, I hopped off the jeepney that slowly halted just as the stoplight turned red. I was now right across the famous church after travelling 20 minutes from DLSU. The usual lit and burning red candles were placed at the left corner near the entrance, and the religious souvenirs and items such as rosaries and bibles were at the opposite side. The air was filled with unanswered questions, and wishes that might never be granted; it is prayers that represent social media posts in the eyes of God. People flocked the church on a Tuesday afternoon and the traces of Catholicism prevailed just as what the invaders had hoped for- permanent transformation.

After saying a quick prayer, I was then on a hunt for food. The locals, when asked about the things that are the best to do in Binondo, would always say food trip without hesitation. And because of that, I let my grumbling stomach guide me through the hustling streets of Binondo. Walking through Chinatown, restaurant signs bombarded me left and right. I passed Eng Bee Tin’s flagship store with a booming speaker that entices passersby to take a peek. They claim to be the house of the best hopia and tikoy in all of Binondo and it’s hard to argue against their 107 years of existence. I was not at all surprised that the red lanterns never failed to make an appearance. Oddly enough, the red looked good against the purple aesthetic of the whole place.

Still searching for affordable and quality food, I saw Chuan Kee - the oldest fast food in Binondo, and their interior did indeed looked as if it was last updated in the 50s. Their low ceiling and white-tiled floors are audiences to the crowd of people eating. Restaurant appearance did not matter as long as the food is good, I guess. I must admit that I was almost pulled in by the popularity of the place. Standing by my main objective, I wanted a different kind of experience. The kind that is unique to all the Chinese food lunches that I had been to with my family.

Just as my eyes scanned the remaining restaurants that are placed strategically in the streets that’s going to the other parts of Chinatown, I passed the towering arch of Ongpin North Bridge. The air that I inhaled was infected by the stench of the estero that was hidden beneath the structure. The black stain from the dirt that it has collected throughout the years layered the stone railings of the bridge. Red rectangles outlined the bridge’s shape as it connected the restaurants to the various businesses that reside in Binondo. Vendors were trying to market their products, the horn of the impatient jeepneys driven by the impatient drivers rang in my ears, and the whispers of Hokaglish, the combination  of Hokkien Chinese, English, and Tagalog, surrounded the hot air. The bridge witnesses scenarios like these everyday.

I was slowly losing hope of finding the perfect unique Chinese Restaurant as I stopped by the  end of the historical bridge. Needless to say that I was extremely hungry, I opted to ask a local about the good restaurants nearby. What he recommended to me was the chain of food places just beside the estero. Hey, I did ask for something unique- lunch beside a drainage canal. Nothing but unconventional yet exciting!  

The Estero Fast Food has a variety of meals to choose from, and it does not sway away from the usual dishes that you see in high-end Chinese restaurants. Yang-chow fried rice, garlic shrimp, fried spare ribs and beef broccoli are some of the dishes that they offer. Everything was cooked fresh and the ingredients were all laid out in front of their kitchen so that the customers can see it. The size of the servings are generous as I was more than satisfied after the meal. It seemed as if there were sukis that often came to the restaurant. It was packed considering that it was a weekday and that it was hidden from plain sight. The food was cheap, delicious, and worthwhile. This convinced me that there were hidden gems in Binondo that a lot of tourists often miss out on. Gems beside esteros that were hidden underneath an old bridge. Unfortunately, the self-proclaimed Chinese-me was disheartened when I found out that they do not serve dumplings like pork and shrimp siomai (a savory snack wrapped with a wonton wrapper and filled with pork) and hakaw (a shrimp dumpling) - my two favorite Chinese dishes.

After paying less than 200 pesos for a meal that would probably be priced for 400 pesos in DLSU, I was desperate for a long walk. It was my first spontaneous trip and not knowing where I’ll end up next somehow excited me. It is true that mystery reels you into the black hole of adventure.

It’s funny how I’ve never been to Binondo which is known to embrace everything in Chinese culture and beliefs yet I feel like I have been trained to be familiar with everything that I encounter. I entered the Dragon Phoenix Enterprise, oddly enough, it reminded me of home and my family.

I knew that shops position their cashier box based off of to what the Feng Shui advised. I knew who Kuan Kong is and what his presence gives the homes or offices since mine had a porcelain statue of him in the middle of our living room. I was very aware that Guan Yin Ma is the Goddess with many arms and that she symbolises kindness and love as she was placed in a vanity mirror inside my parents’ bedroom. Charms like bracelets and pendants, especially when newly bought, should be blessed inside a stainless bowl that echoes when hit by a small wooden bat. The smell of incense as the fire urges it into ash is not foreign to me as we would bow three times to Guan Yin Ma every night to say why we were grateful. Even when I was searching for Chinese snacks to try in a small convenience store near Dragon Phoenix Enterprise, I saw Haw Flakes - a dark pink candy that smelled like tamarinds and sweet candy at the same time was my favorite candy that my dad would bring home from the mall and it has been years since I devoured its tangy taste again. The Chinese usually eat it with tea or as a distraction to their bitter medicine. I was always curious why it was sold in a Chinese drugstore in my hometown and now I got the answers.

The Philippines was home to Chinese traders in the late 16th century and their population steadily grew with their influence to the culture and livelihood of Filipinos. The friendship of the two nations were even honored by the national government by renaming the Ongpin South Bridge into the Friendship Bridge. I took a glance at the fruit stands that is placed at the end of this bridge while eating my Haw Flakes. Binondo was where these traders resided in and it is rather safe to say that this place bears the fruits of the bond of these two nationalities. Maybe the friendship that grew between our ancestors and the Chinese traders have brought my family to embody the same ideals.

I stand in the Plaza San Lorenzo Ruiz as I wait for the jeepney going back home. The traffic started piling up as employees from one of the booming business capitals in the country have started to go home. The shadow of the church casted upon the plaza. I had no idea what Binondo was; its past will always be a shadow to my present and I can never insert myself into the history. Television shows did not do justice to the skeletons of Binondo to say the least. The skin and flesh celebrations covered its crumbling old bones - surviving amidst the hits that it continuously endures; bombs from the World War then, or the constructions of different high-rise buildings now.

The sun was setting and the shimmer over the city looked like specks of glitters scattered by the wind. The gold specks in Binondo might be a reflection of the rich culture, delicious food, and historical value that this place possess. I have never been to your Binondo, but I sure have enjoyed reminiscing what I have seen. Gallery: https://cnfhumss12a.tumblr.com/tagged/kiana

[psychoticcrepe-blog]

Italian Impression

I was not excited for this meal at all. This cuisine was the one that I was not looking forward to since I do not like pasta. Despite my reservations towards the experience, I was committed to trying everything that they offered, and try I did. I was hoping to have something different than what we actually had, so I was disappointed with the options. If I were to describe this meal to anyone else, I would say that this meal represents the American version of Italian food. This is not to say that I did not learn about Italian food and the culture.  The night was not a complete waste because there were some aspects of Italian cuisine that I actually appreciated tonight. I think the main aspect I gained from Italian cuisine was how it brought people closer together, and how we were shown a sense of community throughout the whole experience. My research showed me this, and I’m glad I got to experience this first hand. But I would like to try something different next time.

When we first arrived at the Hills, we met up with our tour guide Joe. His ancestors were from Southern Italy, or the Sicilian providence. Throughout the tour, you could see that history was important to him. He told stories and had connections everywhere. I remember when he was telling us about how his uncles or cousins came from Italy in 1970 and opened up a grocery store full of Italian food. There were so many unknown cheeses and meats that I had never seen before in my life. But what also stuck out to me was how he was talking about one of the workers at the store. We had the worker earlier that day, but joe felt that it was important to point out where this guy worked. Apparently, this guy worked at the back of the store making Italian sausages.  This seems like a minute detail, but it brought up a concept that we haven’t really discussed in class. The Italians not only care for the food that they eat but also the process of that makes their food Italian. They take pride in the preparation of the food, which is something new to me. Joe was proud of the Italian bakery that we went to. Joe values the connection that happened over food, which is something I have not really seen in any other cuisine before we studied Italian food.

Now on to the food. The first dish we had was fried ravioli. Anyone who knows me knows that I dislike pasta. I do not like the texture of pasta, especially when it is a big chunk. I felt frustrated when I also saw that it was fried. Do not get me, wrong, because I actually found that it tasted better fried that if I had had it plain with the tomato sauce. My frustration came from the fact that it was not authentically Italian. I believe that it was either Joe or the Project Director who told us that it was at this particular restaurant was where fried ravioli gain it’s national popularity. This goes the same for the main course we had, which was pasta covered with alfredo sauce or marinara sauce.  Not only were we served pasta, but meat to go along with the pasta. They served us chicken and meatballs. I quite enjoyed them. The meatballs surprised me the most because they are the best meatballs I have ever had. I never liked meatballs growing up, so that’s why I’m surprised I actually enjoyed them.  But I still have my complaints.  In my research, I was told that meat and pasta are not typically if ever, served together. Pasta and chicken or any other form of meat are supposed to be main dishes and should not be combined together. Meat is meant to be served separately and after the pasta. That is why I asked the chef why they kept the meat separate from the pasta. He did not answer my question in the way I expected him to. It was also disappointing to see that the main chef was not Italian. I may have to do more research into his background, but I believe he is American.

I would like to go back to that restaurant to try another dish that is possibly different. This meal was by far the most disappointing. I may have set my expectations too high for this culture, but I would like to go back and try a more unique Italian dish,  I would specifically like to go to an Italian family to try the food and see what it is like to dine with an Italian family. 

[keremulusoy]

While looking at peaceful and solemn silence of  Zaganos Pasa Mosque, do not bypass Kanaat  eatinghouse which had significant  contributions to the history of  Balıkesir, to cheer  your palate with delightful tastes offered.

Do not think that Kanaat Lokantası is one of the places where only present flavors belong to that region from traditional Anatolian cuisine and is just regular gourmets’ stamping ground. It is a place that has a very important contribution to the city history of Balıkesir at the same time. While looking at the peaceful and imperturbable silence of the Zaganos Pasha Mosque (Pasha Mosque and Social Complex- 1461) your palate cheer up with excellent tastes placed in front of you. We interview with managers of the restaurant from the fourth generation; Mehmet Bayyiğit, Yaşar Özer, Rafet Tuncel. They start by saying that this place is not just a commercial place on food, but it also undertakes a number of missions to carry tradition to modern times.

“Although we do not have explicit documents, I can say that it is a place owned by the master of my deceased father and the one before him and managed by us as the fourth generation.We believed that it was established before the Republic. We have a city archive, and we are trying to find the traces of the history of Kanaat Lokantası which we have explained according to presumptions for the time being. Of course, Balıkesir our city, is a city where a great deal of population movements happened from past to present and the demography hybridized at. This richness has had various influences on both our culinary culture and our daily life. As you know, there is no eating house and restaurant as a trade center in Turkish Islamic culture. There are more caravansaries and hospices. Therefore, we did not think like Westerners at the point of feeding people. We think this job as a charity and service to humanity. As I have just mentioned, those who migrated to the region on various occasions or who came and passed from here, have transformed the logic of the eating house into a restaurant form.”

Popular Place Of The Ones Doing With Less Mehmet Bayyiğit gives a worthy answer about the history of the place when asked to him why ‘’Kanaat’’, perhaps because it was asked a lot, perhaps he was already doing studies on the history of the restaurant: “Actually, ‘’Kanaat’’ is the name of this place from the very beginning. As you know, doing with less(in Turkish “kanaat”) means being happy with your havings. We can also expand this definition as finding enough, being satisfied, being content with what you have, not wanting more. Satisfaction is, in fact, basically a powerful concept that occupies the universe of traditions and spirit of the people of the period. It is the capability of not having designs on property, goodness, the welfare of the others other than the motivation of being content with what you have. At the same time, this is a very important and positive element in Turkish Islamic culture. It is certainly not slackness but a feature that strengthens the social peace we need so much now. ”

While the peaceful winds blowing from Pasa Mosque and its Kulliye,are entering from the windows with coolness of shadow of cypress, we are listening to the places where Kanaat previously offered service from Mehmet Bayyigit: “Actually, this is not the first address of the eating-house. As the first place was small, the change was required. I could only see 3rd and 4th places. ”The place under the plane tree under the Pasha Mosque was our third place. It was a wooden and nice place, actually. I always remember it had a very nice kitchen. The wood fire was prepared, boiling boilers, the dishes cooked in a cooking stove used to infest the environment in a nostalgic atmosphere. Woods purchased for the stoves used to be moved with camels. In fact, there is a term called camel load which is a measure of how much wood will be taken. Like two camel load wood…’’

Kanaat Lokantası never interrupted his connection with its tradition. Maybe today it does not work like a hospice or public soup-kitchen, however who comes hungry to the restaurant never leave hungry.

Remembering The Past “Restaurant management has a different social mission. You feed people. This is a very important will of my deceased father to us. It is a principle that we often remind our employees. Everyone who comes here with or without money will surely full up. That is the way. ”

In a manner of speaking, the best brands create their images by blood, sweat, and tears. You can only internalize a principle by insisting as if it became an obsession. Here, the customers of Kanaat Lokantası make their ways to pass Balıkesir in some period of their lives to relive their old memories, to say “May God bless you” to the laborers of Kanatçı Lokantası who passed away from this world by mentioning the past even how old they tasted the flavor of this place.

‘’We have at least forty, fifty years of customers. We also have regulars who ate at Kanaat Lokantası during their childhood or student years, who have come to important positions and even have changed cities or even countries. They come after a taste stuck from their childhood and a memory touched in their heart. They pray to our father. They express their encomia and thankfulness from their hearts. It is expected for us to be happy, to be proud of what we do. We are pleased. Of course, it is important to keep the same taste for years and not disappoint people’s memories. In this sense, it is important for our employees to have a share of keeping a traditional gastronomy culture. The making, method, and presentation of many things have never changed. In this way, those who come to Kanaat Restaurant after decades and eat the same tastes as they are in their memories. “

Tastes Of Kanaat It is possible to find the most special dishes of traditional Turkish cuisine especially meat dishes like lamb roasting, meat stew, meatballs with rice dipped in egg batter and fried, navarin, wrapped lamb liver burger, “kelle” at Kanaat however can say that its distinctive sign is soup culture. Mr. Bayyiğit also mentions about changing breakfast concept in Turkish cuisine while telling his customers about different types of soups and “pideli paça” prepared by the restaurant in the morning.

‘’There was soup instead of breakfast. This was a part of the historical culinary culture of Balıkesir. For example, tarhana soup used to be drunk. Also, I remember that my mother made “ovmaç” soup. So I’m talking about a culture where many kinds of soups are drunk in the morning. There was no such thing in breakfasts as cheese, olive, jam called Turkish breakfast. Here, we are trying to create a culture where soup is consumed in the morning, or more precisely to maintain this cultural tradition. As Kanaat Lokantası, the main ingredient of our soup menu is bone broth. We have a team only works for them and they boil between eighty and one hundred bones a day. In this sense, the use of both offal and bone broth as a material is conditional upon the formation of a very rigorous hygiene chain. After a long cleaning process, ten-hour boiling time is required. The collagen material in the bone is the source of the healing properties of these soups. Like an orthopedist’s treatment, it becomes the medication to many patients. The bone broth is our distinctive sign. Our soups like “pideli paça”, tripe-soup, “kelle paça”, “ayak paça” are bone broth based. ‘’

KanaatEating-house is a history watchman adopting the principle of providing the transfer of Anatolian-Islamic tradition to the next generations rather than being a business.A solemn place that considers transferring the importance of the concept of satisfaction nourished by our cul-ture graciously and without reproach … It has been waiting for many years for the ones won-dering how an ordinary eating-house has such special missions. Do not wait for your passing by.

Rice with meat

Ozbek Plov

Rice with goose meat

Trotter with flat bread

Braised Lamb

The soup

Notes

ROASTED LAMB (FOR 6) Ingredients: 1 kg lamb in small pieces 1 onion 1 teaspoon tea

How to cook: Lamb minced in small pieces is roasted with its own fat and minced onion. When roasting is finished, water is added enough to cover the meat. Salt is added and waited till it boils. After it has boiled, it is taken to the baking tray. It is put in the oven in 1800 °C. It is kept in the oven for approximately 1.5 hours.

* Thyme, cumin and black pepper can be added during the service.

The soup has great value both in Turkish – Ottoman cuisine culture, gastronomy and folklore. It is one of the irreplaceable tastes from childhood to old age, especially in Anatolian culture.The soup, which is preferred as an appetizer in European cuisine, is known as a meal on its own with its regionally varied versions in our culture. It forms the beginning of meal, thus, it is the router of all tastes throughout meal. The journey of the soup in history started in the Middle Ages in the form of aqueous massecuitemade from cereals in the nomadic periods, its different forms emerged over time and traditional rituals of preparing and eating forms occurred.

By: Necati Bulut / Photos: Mehmet Bayyiğit

*This article was  published in the  May– June issue of Marmara Life.

The Place Where Tradition Meets The Flavour: Kanaat Eatinghouse While looking at peaceful and solemn silence of Zaganos Pasa Mosque, do not bypass Kanaat eatinghouse which had significant contributions to the history of Balıkesir, to cheer your palate with delightful tastes offered.

[theolivechickken]

Vacation while I'm on vacation (more than spring break was)

March 28

I guess I've become nocturnal or maybe I'm an insomniac since I've lost the ability to fall asleep and stay asleep at night - yet I'm able to take naps during the day? We quickly passed through Slovenia and arrived in Zagreb, Croatia in the late afternoon. We each became a tour guide for 5 minutes as we walked throughout the city and presented our facts or information blurbs on important landmarks. I had fun trolling with my ASMR tour on Bloody Bridge (RIP cause it’s a street now).

March 29

On the road to Sarajevo! Mostly spent the day on the bus, but we also had to hop on and off a handful of times as we exited the Croatian border and entered Bosnia. Several passport stamps later (might need a new passport soon??), we made it. Once we crossed the Bosnian border, we were greeted by our Green Visions Guide, Lawrence. It was interesting to drive through the mountains and into the valley where Sarajevo was located (especially after reading the Cellist of Sarajevo and learning about the Siege in which snipers were stationed on the tops of the mountains - the civilians really were completely surrounded and living life was a daily risk).

We had a chill evening and strolled down the hill into Pigeon Square. Patrick, Raine, Aubree, and I killed time by exploring the city streets and eating baklava. The evening was filled with SO much traditional food. We had a whole feast of traditional  Balkans foods in a local restaurant.

Some of the foods we tried:

bread and beer to start :))

red (bell?) peppers and cheese

pea soup

spinach and cheese börek (flaky-pastry kinda like baklava) and a meat filled börek

klepe (little cheesy-meat filled ravioli like dumplings that were the most amazing thing in the world)

Bosnian pot/ stew (lonac??)

apple pie-ish dessert MIT SWEET SCHLAG

March 30

Today, Lawrence guided us through a walking tour of Sarajevo. This city is unique because of its cultural and religious melting pot. There are Catholic cathedrals, Orthodox churches, synagogues, and mosques nestled in close proximity to one another. It’s hard to say whether the narratives told were biased or objective. On the one hand, Lawrence was our main source of information (besides knowledge we might have obtained in class through reading books or articles which may also have their own biases). On the other, I believe Lawrence tried his best to unbiasedly illustrate the events of the war and the siege. Sarajevo is his hometown and he has established many friendships or acquaintances with the individuals within this city (he was always greeted by friends throughout the street). He was away at school, but his own family had lived and survived in Sarajevo during this time.

Regardless, I appreciated the tour and his efforts to thoroughly answer any questions that we had.

Paired with the discussions and historical articles we’ve covered in class, I feel like I’ve gained a better understanding of the events leading up to WWI. Before this excursion and section of the class, I don’t think I’ve had any solid historical knowledge or background on the Balkans. I never considered that this might be a place that I would visit someday, and I’m truly grateful for the opportunity that this semester has granted us. Although our minds were constantly being flooded with information from tours daily, I feel like I walked out of this trip with more knowledge than I had coming in.

For lunch, Lawrence treated us to Ćevapi (Bosnian lamb/beef kebabs served with pita bread and onions). We put a little spin on our dishes and used our thick plain greek yogurt drink as a dip/sauce for our meal. 10/10 and so filling.

A kitty!! Another kitty!!! I’ve never seen so many cats in my life. I feel like I always see dogs wandering around, but here the cats outnumber any animal.

For the second part of our tour, we visited the tunnel that was built under the airport runway and connected Sarajevo to Bosnian free territory. Although it could possibly be a way to escape into safer territory, most people used this as a way to bring back necessities such as food and water for their families. Benny also brought us up to the mountain ranges where snipers would set up. It’s insane to tie the whole picture together. That is some major distance from the mountains into the city, and these individuals were able to take out civilians with ease. It’s weird to think that this only happened ~25 years ago.

The rest of the evening was free for us to explore on our own. Our phones didn’t have access to data since we were out of the EU, so we took it to the streets and relied on our memory and landmarks to get around. Aubree, Raine, Patrick, and I wanted to have dinner at the brewery where civilians would trek to in order to fill up jugs with water for their families, but it was closed for a private party that night. Patrick remembered seeing a Mexican restaurant, so we followed him to it. We were so excited to have Mexican food, and then the waiter said they only serve Bosnian food. Don’t know why we got our hopes up, but honestly I thought it was hilarious and couldn’t be mad. We ended up going to a different restaurant in Pigeon Square and had doner kebabs for dinner. Afterwards, the rest of the crew met up with us in the square and together we walked to an outdoor hookah lounge to hang out :) Twas the night that we learned that Patrick peaked in middle school.

March 31

Today we are mountain(wo)men. Lawrence and his apprentices led us on a 6 mile hike behind the Umoljani Village up in the Bosnian mountains. I love being outside in nature!!! This hike was such a refresher. Speaking of refreshing, we were able to drink the freshest water in the world. And it all came straight from the freshwater stream. It was so cold and tasted like it came from the heavens. We also had a little casual picnic out on the grassy hill looking out to the mountains. We packed bananas and sandwiches, and Lawrence and his team treated us to some hot tea, slightly melted spoonfuls of chocolate, and miniature wafers. We continued our hike and parked our bodies at the top. Lawrence led a discussion and encouraged us to ask more questions, but honestly I was too caught up in the surrounding beauty and was too busy soaking in the sun to notice. About an hour later, we began our descent into the village and finally made it back to the little “hut” lodge. We took turns showering in cold water and even managed to squeeze in a nap before dinner. Holy platters of (more traditional) food yo. I feel bad that they made so much because our group could not devour it all. But it was soooo delicious.

[nancygduarteus]

When Kids Have to Act Like Parents, It Affects Them for Life

Laura Kiesel was only six years old when she became a parent to her infant brother. At home, his crib was placed directly next to her bed, so that when he cried at night, she was the one to pick him up and sing him back to sleep. She says she was also in charge of changing his diapers and making sure he was fed every day. For the majority of her early childhood, she remembers that she tended to his needs while her own mother was in the depths of heroin addiction.

From as early as she can remember, Kiesel says she had to take care of herself—preparing her own meals, clothing herself, and keeping herself entertained. At school, she remembers becoming a morose and withdrawn child whose hair was often dirty and unkempt.

It was a dark time made even bleaker by her mother’s violent outbursts. “During dope sickness, she would unleash a lot of fury onto me,” said Kiesel, a 38-year-old freelance writer. “I became the buffer or scapegoat of her rage to divert it [from] my younger (much more defenseless) brother.” (Kiesel’s mother is no longer living.)

At one point, she says she learned to take her small brother and kitten into their bathroom and barricade the door to keep them safe. “I felt a lot of weight on my shoulders, like my brother could die without me there,” Kiesel remembers.

She started breaking out in severe hives for months at a time, which she believes were triggered by the “burden of loneliness and responsibilities at that age.” Becoming responsible for an infant at such a young age came with a toll, she explained. “I sometimes picked on my brother or was quick to shove or slap his arm because I was overwhelmed and didn’t know how to handle the shrieks of a 2-year-old when I was eight.”

Eventually, at age nine, Kiesel and and her 3-year-old brother were taken in by their grandparents, but the trauma of their former living situation stayed with the children. By the time Kiesel was 14, she says she suffered from daily panic attacks, OCD, and depression. It wasn’t until she was older, she says, that she began to understand the connection between her childhood experiences and numerous chronic illnesses.

Kiesel’s story is one of what psychologists refer to as destructive parentification—a form of emotional abuse or neglect where a child becomes the caregiver to their parent or sibling. Researchers are increasingly finding that in addition to upending a child’s development, this role reversal can leave deep emotional scars well into adulthood. Many, like Kiesel, experience severe anxiety, depression, and psychological distress. Others report succumbing to eating disorders and substance abuse.

“The symptoms look similar to some extent, from cradle to grave,” said Lisa M. Hooper, a professor at the University of Louisville and prominent parentification researcher. Some of these behaviors start out in childhood, and become exacerbated in adulthood, she explains.

“Children’s distrust of their interpersonal world is one of the most destructive consequences of such a process,” writes Gregory Jurkovic in his book Lost Childhoods: The Plight of the Parentified Child.

While there is a large body of literature that focuses on the neglect children experience from their parents, there’s less examination of how this neglect puts kids in roles of parenting each other. And there is virtually no empirical research on how this affects relationship dynamics later in life—both with siblings and others. Scholars agree that there are gaps in sibling research—primarily an incomplete understanding of how these relationships and roles are affected by abusive family environments. Hooper noted that “the literature is very scarce in this area.”

In Kiesel’s case, looking after her brother as a kid has led to a tenuous and chaotic relationship with him over the years, fraught with bouts of estrangement and codependency. Though they remain close,  there were periods where she and her brother didn’t speak for months at a time. “My brother is constantly on the edge of some crisis (a health crisis from his drinking, homelessness, etc.) so it is a worry that never goes completely away,” she told me in an email.

Her brother, Matthew Martin, 32, acknowledges the role their upbringing has played in these dynamics. “She was the only protector that I had,” he recalls. “My mother was a hard-core addict from very early on.” Throughout his childhood and early teens, he says he relied on Kiesel for the emotional support his mother couldn’t provide.

“We’ve had our fair share of arguments about [my addictions] and it’s hard, because she wants me to have some longevity. She wants me to be around for her the way that she was for me.”

* * *

From the age of eight until she left home at 15, Rene, who asked to be identified by her first name only because she was concerned about upsetting her family, says she would pick up her three younger siblings from daycare, bring them home, feed and bathe them, read them stories, and put them to bed. “Basically, I played the role of mother,” said the 50-year-old Oregon resident. She remembers standing on a chair as a child and cooking dinner for her entire family. In spite of the enormous burden of responsibility, she recalls it as a role she cherished. “I have really fond memories, particularly of reading them stories in bed at night.”

But Rene’s home life was far from peaceful. She says her mother’s alcoholism prevented her from properly caring for her five children, placing the task of child-rearing on the shoulders of Rene and her older brother. (Rene’s mother is no longer living.) But just as Rene took care of her younger siblings, she and her older brother relied on each other for emotional support.

“I think that it’s important to recognize that a lot of parentification is codependent,” she said, “Perhaps one sibling is the one who does the dishes and cleans the house, and takes care of the mom who is sick or drunk.” She explains that the other sibling might be the one who provides more emotional support, either by listening to problems or comforting.

Just as Wendy assumed the role of “mother” for the Lost Boys in Peter Pan, parentified siblings often forge symbiotic relationships, where they meet each others’ needs for guardians in a lot of different ways.

“We know that siblings can buffer each other from the impacts of stressful relationships with parents,” said Amy K. Nuttall, an assistant professor in human development and family studies at Michigan State University. This may account for why some parentified siblings who come from abusive homes end up maintaining close, albeit complex, bonds into adulthood, with some “continuing to attempt to fill parental needs at the expense of their own.”

Still, Nuttall adds, others may distance themselves from their families altogether in order to escape the role.

Rene found herself homeless after she was kicked out of her mother’s house when she was 15 years old. She says her siblings still blame her for leaving them behind. “When you think about it, if you’re parentified and you leave your younger siblings, it’s like having a parent abandon them,” said Rene. For years after, she was plagued by feelings of guilt—a common experience among people who have been parentified.

Sibling relationships usually generate a lifelong bond, yet for Rene, freedom from caretaking responsibilities came at a cost: the loss of her family. “I don’t have a relationship with my siblings anymore,” she says.

* * *

Unpredictable childhood trauma has long-lasting effects on the brain. Studies have shown that people with adverse childhood experiences are more likely to suffer from mental and physical health disorders, leading people to experience a chronic state of high stress reactivity. One study found that children exposed to ongoing stress released a hormone that actually shrank the size of their hippocampus, an area of the brain that processes memory, emotion, and stress management. Individuals who have experienced emotional or physical neglect by a parent are also at a greater risk of suffering from chronic illness as adults.

“Chronic, unpredictable stress is toxic when there’s no reliable adult,” said Donna Jackson Nakazawa, the author of Childhood Disrupted and a science journalist who focuses on the intersection of neuroscience and immunology.

Nakazawa has conducted extensive research on the body-brain connection, with a focus on studies initiated by physicians Vincent Felitti and Robert Anda. Their work on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) has since grown into a burgeoning field with hundreds of peer-reviewed studies. The findings show that people who experienced four categories of childhood adversity—physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, and neglect—were twice as likely to be diagnosed with cancer and depression as adults.

More links have been found between childhood stressors and adult heart disease, diabetes, migraines, and irritable bowel syndrome.

Jordan Rosenfeld, a 43-year-old author from California, attributes her own digestive issues to her childhood. When her mother was in the throes of substance abuse, she says, there were times she didn’t have food to eat. By the time she left home at 18, she began suffering from chronic pain after eating.

In adulthood, Rosenfeld noticed it was hard to regulate her emotions around hunger. “If I’m out with friends and we can’t decide on a restaurant, and I’m hungry—I can actually go into a little bit of a meltdown,” she said. “And I can trace that back to literally not having been fed as a child at various junctures.”

From an early age, Rosenfeld recalls having to remind her mother when they needed groceries and pulling her out of bed in the mornings to get to school on time. “I did a lot of that kind of parenting her, in a way, because what I was trying to do was get parented myself.” Because of this, she says she often distrusts that other people will take care of things. “That’s why I tend to step up and do it myself.”

Jordan’s mother, Florence Shields, remembers it was a depressing time in both their lives. “I had welfare for a while and I think that my diet—because of drugs and alcohol—wasn’t very good, and she probably got the brunt of that.” As a recovering alcoholic, Shields, who is now retired and lives in Petaluma, California, says she lacked the tools for parenting due to her own upbringing and history of tragedy.

When she became a mother at age 24, Shields was still grieving the loss of her older brother who died unexpectedly when she was 18. Opioids and alcohol were a way of coping with this loss, she says.“It’s like that grief is in there with you because that person is with you for the rest of your life, so when sad things come up, there he is.”

While both Rosenfeld and her mother have since attended therapy sessions together as adults, the effects of parentification continue to this day. Shields recognizes that her earlier struggles with addiction have profoundly influenced her daughter’s behavior. “Jordan is very orderly and in control,” she said by phone. When Rosenfeld’s father later remarried and had children of his own, Rosenfeld learned to project her role of caretaker onto her siblings. “I spent a lot of time babysitting them as a teenager and I think it’s been a challenge for me to separate out feeling like I’m a parent to them.”

This has often caused rifts between the siblings into adulthood, Rosenfeld says. “I’ve always been somebody who thinks it’s my job to offer help, care, and advice even when it’s not asked for.”

* * *

How does someone learn that becoming self-reliant is safer than trusting others? Nakazawa believes that in destructive parentification, “you don’t have a reliable adult to turn to.” And if a child’s early experiences at home consisted of making sure everyone else’s needs were met, then the “child doesn’t feel seen.”

This sense of responsibility and compulsive caretaking can follow them into future relationships as well. “You tend to project it onto other people in your life,” Rosenfeld says. This isn’t surprising, claims Jenny Macfie, an associate director of clinical training at the University of Tennessee and another prominent parentification researcher, as “adults who report role confusion in their childhoods may have difficulty with their identity development,” and this in turn, can affect a person’s romantic relationships.

For the first half of her marriage, Rosenfeld found herself regularly putting her partner’s needs ahead of her own—essentially mirroring her childhood role.

Others echoed this experience; Kiesel says she struggles with learning how to establish firm boundaries with partners and believes this is directly tied to caring for her brother at a young age. Similarly, Rene says finding the right balance between expectation and autonomy has been a constant problem in her relationships. She’d like to find a partner but has doubts. “It’s very easy for me to get into caretaking roles with people who basically exploit my nature.”

But these effects often go beyond the individual—studies by Nuttall and others have found that destructive parentification in a family can carry over to other generations as well. “Mothers who were overburdened by taking care of their parents during childhood have a poorer understanding of their infant’s developmental needs and limitations,” explained Nuttall. This, consequently, “leads to a parenting style that lacks warmth and sensitivity.”

* * *

As of today, there is scarce research on treatment or prevention efforts. How can a parentified sibling heal? Nakazawa believes that recognizing how these psychological puzzle pieces all fit together can be a step in the right direction. “Physically and mentally, the architecture of the brain has changed, the immune system has changed, and without that validation, you can’t begin an appropriate healing journey.”

Some people have found community through Al-Anon, a support group for the loved ones of alcoholics. “The group has a really strong focus on explaining what codependency is and offering solutions for learning new behaviors,” explained Rosenfeld. She’s attended the meetings for over a year now and says she’s noticed a tremendous change in her habits and awareness of how to set boundaries. “I’ve learned that I can’t just blame people in my life with substance abuse issues for causing me suffering; I have a choice in taking care of myself,” she says.

Despite negative outcomes associated with parentification, researchers say that going through that experience also confers some advantages that can help people later in life. Hooper believes that people who have been parentified as children possess a greater capacity for resiliency and self-efficacy. Nakazawa echoes this. “Current [American] culture thinks of resiliency as gutting it out and getting through, and one foot in front of the other,” she says. “But resiliency is learning and making meaning from what happened.”

A common thread found in people with these shared childhood experiences is a heightened sense of empathy and an ability to more closely connect to others. This is not to say that the negative impacts of their childhood are diminished, says Nakazawa, but that many are able to forge meaning out of their suffering. “People begin to see that their path to well-being must take into account the way in which trauma changed their story,” she explains, “And once they’re able to do that, they can also see how resiliency is also important in their story.”

For Kiesel, the freelance writer who cared for her brother from a young age, counseling and Al-Anon have helped her feel less personally responsible for her brother, though she laments the lack of support networks for siblings who have been parentified and have their own specific needs.

Though her relationship with her brother remains tenuous because of his addictions, she continues to look out for him by regularly calling and checking in on him every month.

Martin admits that to this day, she remains the voice of positivity and reason in his life. “I'm struggling with my own demons, but like my sister says, there is a future there for me.”  

As Kiesel explains: “Our mother and grandmother died a few months apart, and our grandfather a little over a year later—so essentially, we're all we have left.”

from Health News And Updates https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/10/when-kids-have-to-parent-their-siblings-it-affects-them-for-life/543975/?utm_source=feed

[ionecoffman]

When Kids Have to Act Like Parents, It Affects Them for Life

Laura Kiesel was only six years old when she became a parent to her infant brother. At home, his crib was placed directly next to her bed, so that when he cried at night, she was the one to pick him up and sing him back to sleep. She says she was also in charge of changing his diapers and making sure he was fed every day. For the majority of her early childhood, she remembers that she tended to his needs while her own mother was in the depths of heroin addiction.

From as early as she can remember, Kiesel says she had to take care of herself—preparing her own meals, clothing herself, and keeping herself entertained. At school, she remembers becoming a morose and withdrawn child whose hair was often dirty and unkempt.

It was a dark time made even bleaker by her mother’s violent outbursts. “During dope sickness, she would unleash a lot of fury onto me,” said Kiesel, a 38-year-old freelance writer. “I became the buffer or scapegoat of her rage to divert it [from] my younger (much more defenseless) brother.” (Kiesel’s mother is no longer living.)

At one point, she says she learned to take her small brother and kitten into their bathroom and barricade the door to keep them safe. “I felt a lot of weight on my shoulders, like my brother could die without me there,” Kiesel remembers.

She started breaking out in severe hives for months at a time, which she believes were triggered by the “burden of loneliness and responsibilities at that age.” Becoming responsible for an infant at such a young age came with a toll, she explained. “I sometimes picked on my brother or was quick to shove or slap his arm because I was overwhelmed and didn’t know how to handle the shrieks of a 2-year-old when I was eight.”

Eventually, at age nine, Kiesel and and her 3-year-old brother were taken in by their grandparents, but the trauma of their former living situation stayed with the children. By the time Kiesel was 14, she says she suffered from daily panic attacks, OCD, and depression. It wasn’t until she was older, she says, that she began to understand the connection between her childhood experiences and numerous chronic illnesses.

Kiesel’s story is one of what psychologists refer to as destructive parentification—a form of emotional abuse or neglect where a child becomes the caregiver to their parent or sibling. Researchers are increasingly finding that in addition to upending a child’s development, this role reversal can leave deep emotional scars well into adulthood. Many, like Kiesel, experience severe anxiety, depression, and psychological distress. Others report succumbing to eating disorders and substance abuse.

“The symptoms look similar to some extent, from cradle to grave,” said Lisa M. Hooper, a professor at the University of Louisville and prominent parentification researcher. Some of these behaviors start out in childhood, and become exacerbated in adulthood, she explains.

“Children’s distrust of their interpersonal world is one of the most destructive consequences of such a process,” writes Gregory Jurkovic in his book Lost Childhoods: The Plight of the Parentified Child.

While there is a large body of literature that focuses on the neglect children experience from their parents, there’s less examination of how this neglect puts kids in roles of parenting each other. And there is virtually no empirical research on how this affects relationship dynamics later in life—both with siblings and others. Scholars agree that there are gaps in sibling research—primarily an incomplete understanding of how these relationships and roles are affected by abusive family environments. Hooper noted that “the literature is very scarce in this area.”

In Kiesel’s case, looking after her brother as a kid has led to a tenuous and chaotic relationship with him over the years, fraught with bouts of estrangement and codependency. Though they remain close,  there were periods where she and her brother didn’t speak for months at a time. “My brother is constantly on the edge of some crisis (a health crisis from his drinking, homelessness, etc.) so it is a worry that never goes completely away,” she told me in an email.

Her brother, Matthew Martin, 32, acknowledges the role their upbringing has played in these dynamics. “She was the only protector that I had,” he recalls. “My mother was a hard-core addict from very early on.” Throughout his childhood and early teens, he says he relied on Kiesel for the emotional support his mother couldn’t provide.

“We’ve had our fair share of arguments about [my addictions] and it’s hard, because she wants me to have some longevity. She wants me to be around for her the way that she was for me.”

* * *

From the age of eight until she left home at 15, Rene, who asked to be identified by her first name only because she was concerned about upsetting her family, says she would pick up her three younger siblings from daycare, bring them home, feed and bathe them, read them stories, and put them to bed. “Basically, I played the role of mother,” said the 50-year-old Oregon resident. She remembers standing on a chair as a child and cooking dinner for her entire family. In spite of the enormous burden of responsibility, she recalls it as a role she cherished. “I have really fond memories, particularly of reading them stories in bed at night.”

But Rene’s home life was far from peaceful. She says her mother’s alcoholism prevented her from properly caring for her five children, placing the task of child-rearing on the shoulders of Rene and her older brother. (Rene’s mother is no longer living.) But just as Rene took care of her younger siblings, she and her older brother relied on each other for emotional support.

“I think that it’s important to recognize that a lot of parentification is codependent,” she said, “Perhaps one sibling is the one who does the dishes and cleans the house, and takes care of the mom who is sick or drunk.” She explains that the other sibling might be the one who provides more emotional support, either by listening to problems or comforting.

Just as Wendy assumed the role of “mother” for the Lost Boys in Peter Pan, parentified siblings often forge symbiotic relationships, where they meet each others’ needs for guardians in a lot of different ways.

“We know that siblings can buffer each other from the impacts of stressful relationships with parents,” said Amy K. Nuttall, an assistant professor in human development and family studies at Michigan State University. This may account for why some parentified siblings who come from abusive homes end up maintaining close, albeit complex, bonds into adulthood, with some “continuing to attempt to fill parental needs at the expense of their own.”

Still, Nuttall adds, others may distance themselves from their families altogether in order to escape the role.

Rene found herself homeless after she was kicked out of her mother’s house when she was 15 years old. She says her siblings still blame her for leaving them behind. “When you think about it, if you’re parentified and you leave your younger siblings, it’s like having a parent abandon them,” said Rene. For years after, she was plagued by feelings of guilt—a common experience among people who have been parentified.

Sibling relationships usually generate a lifelong bond, yet for Rene, freedom from caretaking responsibilities came at a cost: the loss of her family. “I don’t have a relationship with my siblings anymore,” she says.

* * *

Unpredictable childhood trauma has long-lasting effects on the brain. Studies have shown that people with adverse childhood experiences are more likely to suffer from mental and physical health disorders, leading people to experience a chronic state of high stress reactivity. One study found that children exposed to ongoing stress released a hormone that actually shrank the size of their hippocampus, an area of the brain that processes memory, emotion, and stress management. Individuals who have experienced emotional or physical neglect by a parent are also at a greater risk of suffering from chronic illness as adults.

“Chronic, unpredictable stress is toxic when there’s no reliable adult,” said Donna Jackson Nakazawa, the author of Childhood Disrupted and a science journalist who focuses on the intersection of neuroscience and immunology.

Nakazawa has conducted extensive research on the body-brain connection, with a focus on studies initiated by physicians Vincent Felitti and Robert Anda. Their work on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) has since grown into a burgeoning field with hundreds of peer-reviewed studies. The findings show that people who experienced four categories of childhood adversity—physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, and neglect—were twice as likely to be diagnosed with cancer and depression as adults.

More links have been found between childhood stressors and adult heart disease, diabetes, migraines, and irritable bowel syndrome.

Jordan Rosenfeld, a 43-year-old author from California, attributes her own digestive issues to her childhood. When her mother was in the throes of substance abuse, she says, there were times she didn’t have food to eat. By the time she left home at 18, she began suffering from chronic pain after eating.

In adulthood, Rosenfeld noticed it was hard to regulate her emotions around hunger. “If I’m out with friends and we can’t decide on a restaurant, and I’m hungry—I can actually go into a little bit of a meltdown,” she said. “And I can trace that back to literally not having been fed as a child at various junctures.”

From an early age, Rosenfeld recalls having to remind her mother when they needed groceries and pulling her out of bed in the mornings to get to school on time. “I did a lot of that kind of parenting her, in a way, because what I was trying to do was get parented myself.” Because of this, she says she often distrusts that other people will take care of things. “That’s why I tend to step up and do it myself.”

Jordan’s mother, Florence Shields, remembers it was a depressing time in both their lives. “I had welfare for a while and I think that my diet—because of drugs and alcohol—wasn’t very good, and she probably got the brunt of that.” As a recovering alcoholic, Shields, who is now retired and lives in Petaluma, California, says she lacked the tools for parenting due to her own upbringing and history of tragedy.

When she became a mother at age 24, Shields was still grieving the loss of her older brother who died unexpectedly when she was 18. Opioids and alcohol were a way of coping with this loss, she says.“It’s like that grief is in there with you because that person is with you for the rest of your life, so when sad things come up, there he is.”

While both Rosenfeld and her mother have since attended therapy sessions together as adults, the effects of parentification continue to this day. Shields recognizes that her earlier struggles with addiction have profoundly influenced her daughter’s behavior. “Jordan is very orderly and in control,” she said by phone. When Rosenfeld’s father later remarried and had children of his own, Rosenfeld learned to project her role of caretaker onto her siblings. “I spent a lot of time babysitting them as a teenager and I think it’s been a challenge for me to separate out feeling like I’m a parent to them.”

This has often caused rifts between the siblings into adulthood, Rosenfeld says. “I’ve always been somebody who thinks it’s my job to offer help, care, and advice even when it’s not asked for.”

* * *

How does someone learn that becoming self-reliant is safer than trusting others? Nakazawa believes that in destructive parentification, “you don’t have a reliable adult to turn to.” And if a child’s early experiences at home consisted of making sure everyone else’s needs were met, then the “child doesn’t feel seen.”

This sense of responsibility and compulsive caretaking can follow them into future relationships as well. “You tend to project it onto other people in your life,” Rosenfeld says. This isn’t surprising, claims Jenny Macfie, an associate director of clinical training at the University of Tennessee and another prominent parentification researcher, as “adults who report role confusion in their childhoods may have difficulty with their identity development,” and this in turn, can affect a person’s romantic relationships.

For the first half of her marriage, Rosenfeld found herself regularly putting her partner’s needs ahead of her own—essentially mirroring her childhood role.

Others echoed this experience; Kiesel says she struggles with learning how to establish firm boundaries with partners and believes this is directly tied to caring for her brother at a young age. Similarly, Rene says finding the right balance between expectation and autonomy has been a constant problem in her relationships. She’d like to find a partner but has doubts. “It’s very easy for me to get into caretaking roles with people who basically exploit my nature.”

But these effects often go beyond the individual—studies by Nuttall and others have found that destructive parentification in a family can carry over to other generations as well. “Mothers who were overburdened by taking care of their parents during childhood have a poorer understanding of their infant’s developmental needs and limitations,” explained Nuttall. This, consequently, “leads to a parenting style that lacks warmth and sensitivity.”

* * *

As of today, there is scarce research on treatment or prevention efforts. How can a parentified sibling heal? Nakazawa believes that recognizing how these psychological puzzle pieces all fit together can be a step in the right direction. “Physically and mentally, the architecture of the brain has changed, the immune system has changed, and without that validation, you can’t begin an appropriate healing journey.”

Some people have found community through Al-Anon, a support group for the loved ones of alcoholics. “The group has a really strong focus on explaining what codependency is and offering solutions for learning new behaviors,” explained Rosenfeld. She’s attended the meetings for over a year now and says she’s noticed a tremendous change in her habits and awareness of how to set boundaries. “I’ve learned that I can’t just blame people in my life with substance abuse issues for causing me suffering; I have a choice in taking care of myself,” she says.

Despite negative outcomes associated with parentification, researchers say that going through that experience also confers some advantages that can help people later in life. Hooper believes that people who have been parentified as children possess a greater capacity for resiliency and self-efficacy. Nakazawa echoes this. “Current [American] culture thinks of resiliency as gutting it out and getting through, and one foot in front of the other,” she says. “But resiliency is learning and making meaning from what happened.”

A common thread found in people with these shared childhood experiences is a heightened sense of empathy and an ability to more closely connect to others. This is not to say that the negative impacts of their childhood are diminished, says Nakazawa, but that many are able to forge meaning out of their suffering. “People begin to see that their path to well-being must take into account the way in which trauma changed their story,” she explains, “And once they’re able to do that, they can also see how resiliency is also important in their story.”

For Kiesel, the freelance writer who cared for her brother from a young age, counseling and Al-Anon have helped her feel less personally responsible for her brother, though she laments the lack of support networks for siblings who have been parentified and have their own specific needs.

Though her relationship with her brother remains tenuous because of his addictions, she continues to look out for him by regularly calling and checking in on him every month.

Martin admits that to this day, she remains the voice of positivity and reason in his life. “I'm struggling with my own demons, but like my sister says, there is a future there for me.”  

As Kiesel explains: “Our mother and grandmother died a few months apart, and our grandfather a little over a year later—so essentially, we're all we have left.”

Article source here:The Atlantic

[heckyeahlucilleballilovelucy]

Safe Nomad (10). Sarah Kuhlemann, Germany: “Freedom offsets all worries and doubts.”

An old Romanian proverb states that “the people bless the place” and good old town of Hoi An, is living proof of the blessing its people – locals and expats alike – have brought upon it.

Vietnam is increasingly modern and bustling, working hard to catch up with the neighboring Asian tigers. Hoi An, however, seems to be more interested in preserving its two thousand year old fame as the “peaceful meeting place” (the meaning of hoi an) while benefitting from all the perks of modern civilization.

Slow paced, homely, and scented, with the heart of a grandmother and the smile of a kid, a mere 30 kilometers from the metropolis of Da Nang (and its airport) and a few clicks away from the virtually endless An Bang beach, dotted with fancy restaurants and cafes. Hoi An is the perfect meeting place for those who seek a tranquil, yet culturally dense holiday, as well as for those who want to work online, far from the European or North American winter.

The one thing that was missing from Hoi An until recently was a quiet co-working space. This shortage was promptly solved by the 32 year-old German digital nomad Sarah Kuhlemann who, on her second visit to the town, decided to create such a place. The predictable result of her painstaking effort was Hub Hoi An, what I would call a co-being space.

Its members do work hard, but they also help each other, learn from each other, and most importantly, have a lot of fun together.

On my first night in Hoi An I was invited to join the Hub’s ad-hoc team to a local trivia competition. We won by a difference of 40 points, my only humble contribution was to answer a question regarding a very specific dish from the Balkan region, the mici (pronounced like Mitch).

The credit for assembling this dream team should go to Sarah for her amazing ability of bringing people together and blessing every place she touches. If you want to learn how she does that, better read on.

The Becoming.

The Kuhlemanns are a family of travellers. They’ve lived almost everywhere in Germany. Sarah’s father has always been an adventurer and he took his two daughters traveling since they were very young. These early trips gave Sarah the bug at a very early age and ever since she has kept on looking for adventure.

At the age of 16, when all her high-school mates took the compulsory semester abroad to US, UK or France, Sarah chose a school in Kodaikanal, Southern India. She spent 6 months studying there with no TV, smartphone or internet connection; just classes, books, a plethora of new friends and one phone call per month to tell her mom that she was fine.

Actually, she was way beyond fine. She was fascinated by the colors, the scents, the food, the people and the tropical weather. She fell in love with Asia, a love that guided her throughout her life.

After high school she chose to study Tourism and Event Management and wrote her bachelor thesis on Myanmar. She quickly found a job with a German tour operator specialized in Myanmar and Indochina, and spent the next 5 years traveling to Asia, inspecting sights and designing tours. It seemed like the dream job, but…

“It wasn’t real traveling”, she recalls. “I didn’t have time to immerse myself into the culture, to meet the real people on the streets. I was working from 6 AM to midnight, going through long business discussions and 9-course meals with local operators, inspecting hotel after hotel. It was a great job and I enjoyed it, but it was not enough.”

By now you’ve all guessed that she eventually quit and, soon after, she sold her car, packed up her things and went to travel by herself, no strings attached, around the world.

First stop: Kodaikanal, where she met her former Indian roommates after almost 15 years. The reunion was generously sprinkled with tears of joy. South East Asia was next, and then off she went to the Pacific Islands, South America, Cuba, US and Canada and New Zealand. How did she fund such an amazing round-the-world-and-back journey? Initially, she lived off her savings, and later on her craving for new horizons pushed her into becoming a digital nomad.

“I had some savings because I dreamed about this trip since childhood. I wanted to travel and work, but picking fruits on an Australian farm was not my thing. I love to work on my laptop. I love researching and writing,

I had a degree in tourism and a passion for Asia, so I left thinking that I could live off of writing articles for tour operators and magazines. But I didn’t have a client at the time of my departure.

The first 3 months were super-exciting. However, the savings were draining up quickly and I realized how difficult it was to find clients while on the way.

Then, by some kind of fortunate accident, I made my first contact at the DNX Conference in Bangkok (Brad’s note: remember Aline’s story?) He needed a business plan writer. I had done that before a couple of times, so I thought why not? It went well and I am still writing business plans for that client. I love researching various industries and perspectives.”

That one big business plan; the story of Hub Hoi An.

Finally, Sarah was living the dream: free as a bird and with a decent flow of cash into her bank account. The next months were an inspiration. Meeting so many innovative and helpful digital nomads along the way taught her how to improve her writing skills and better organize her life and travels. And then she decided to turn one business plan into reality.

“On my first visit to Hoi An, early in 2016, I fell in love with the place and  made good friends here. Hoi An was one of my best experiences during the world trip. Everything was here: nice people, beaches, islands, mountains, amazing weather and a cute UNESCO heritage town, all topped up by a very affordable cost of living.

What I could not find was a good place to work. There were a couple of venues with fast internet, but they were noisy and crowded. And let me tell you this: you cannot work at the beach unless you want to brush sand out of your keyboard 5 times a day (Brad’s note: oh, myth buster you, Sarah).

I went on traveling and hopped from one co-working space to another across the region and so I came up with the idea that it would be great to give digital nomads in SE Asia an alternative to Thailand and Bali. I wanted to create a place where people could work, meet, have lunch and fun together, chat, laugh and go on excursions as a group of friends. I wrote my own business plan for a co-working space in Hoi An and I came back here in December, before my savings were too low to start a business in Vietnam. I asked around, did a lot of scouting, and found the right people to help me with the paper work and the physical work.

Everything you see here is built from scratch according to my plans. I even did my own research and design for the furniture.

Shortly after I found the house and set things in motion, I shared my plan and my progress on Facebook and Instagram. All of a sudden, I had people coming to help me with gardening and cleaning. Most of them were digital nomads traveling to Vietnam. They were happy to see a co-working space being built from scratch and to be a part of the story. The word then spread out to Chiang Mai and Bali and I had more and more nomads coming to be part of our community. So far, I am very blessed and happy with how the Hub Hoi An is growing.”

How does technology impact on your work and life?

“Technology forms the basis of my lifestyle. I could not work without technology and software, apps and equipment that make my life so much easier. I book my trips from my phone. TripAdvisor gives me hints on the best places to stay. Headspace helps me with my meditation routine, which I do every morning. My laptop is the most valuable aid, as it enables me to work and earn money. I realized how important it was after it broke 3 times during my world trip, every time in tricky areas: Yangon in Burma, Suva in Fiji and Noumea in New Caledonia. It feels like a nervous breakdown when the screen blurs due to humidity. I’m giving my laptop a very hard time, I must admit.

Technology is also at the core of a co-working space. There’s a huge difference between the Wi-Fi in a café and the one at a working hub. We must offer the best speed – at all times – and also provide our members with equipment such as mice, chargers, keyboards, laptop stands and other things that are not easy to carry around the world.”

What makes you do your thing, and feel protected?

“I am an optimist. I wake up every morning in a good mood. Doubts, risks or worries don’t have too much space in my life. Sometimes they try to tackle me, but I think life means good to me and that whatever happens, there is always room for a new beginning. I don’t think in failure or mistakes, I think in life-lessons and experiences.

For a more down-to-earth answer, I would say that I have an emergency fund in my bank account, which allows me to fly back home if I really hit rock. I also have travel insurance. For everything else, I take the risks and face challenges inherent to this lifestyle. The reward in freedom offsets all worries and doubts.”

  Here’s a glimpse of the Safe Nomad journey in Vietnam:

from HOTforSecurity http://ift.tt/2xDVmBe