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cosmic-dust-poltergeist · 3 months ago

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Pt 5 of Danny is the 99th attempted clone Tim made of Kon. Danny's 7th birthday.

[Pt 4: here]

Danny has truly enjoyed his life with his new family. He still has no idea how he went from a full dead teenager dying again to a year old kryptonian clone baby, but he's not mad about it at all. He's treated like the most precious treasure here.

He's allowed to be himself in all of his "weirdness". He can use his powers freely and experiment with his gender expression without fear of being torn apart by mad scientists. All his special interests are respected and encouraged, too. And they take his physical AND mental health seriously.

It's great! He knows so many new people with a wide range of powers, and while he doesn't have access to his ghost powers at all, he still can ask about similar powers incase he starts developing them later or becomes a ghost again without anyone questioning it. He's just seen as a curious kid, and the metas in his life are happy to share.

He also knows his family would notice instantly if he died again. Uncle Duke and Uncle Jason would clock him by sight or touch alone, since they can see/sense his connection to ectoplasm, or Lazarus Pit Waters. The rest wouldn't take much longer to notice. The "Bat" portion of his family are glorified stalkers, but he can't say anything, he lived with them full time for a while, and the behaviors have rubbed off on him. The non-Bat portions of his family tease the Bat portion about it, in a fun way.

Danny used all of his childish power to get everyone to be nicer. No one wants the silent treatment from a bubbly toddler. Danny isn't sorry about the manipulation, his family is happier for it. He also teamed up with his dad to get everyone into therapy.

All that to say, he loves it here. He's loved by his new family in a way his original family never did. The difference is never more stark than on days like today. It's his birthday! He's turning 7! Sure, he's technically about 20 mentally, but he's physically and emotionally 7. His family doesn't know about his past life and think his mentally maturity is because of Tim fucking up, which makes Danny feel a little guilty, but not enough to come clean. Besides, neither he or his dad are treated poorly for Danny's weird behavior, and there hasn't been a reason to come clean.

Back to the birthday thing! Most of Danny's family are with him window shopping in one of the safer cities. He thinks it's Uncle Roy's city? Something about there being new stores Danny might like and being petty to Roy's not-dad? Danny's here for the petty. Mr. Queen seems like a douche any of the times he's seen or interacted with him.

"Hey, Danny?" Bernard calls slightly for his attention. Bernard is one of his dad's boyfriends. Yes, "one of". Danny is kind of proud the fact his dad has a healthy love life now. Tim is the definition of a disaster bisexual. It took Danny and his favourite uncles nearly a year to get Tim to realize he likes guys. But in a hilariously turn of events, Tim realized he liked Bernard before he realized he likes Kon. Danny's not sure how that happened. "Look over there. There's a cool looking skirt."

Danny looks where he's pointing and sees the coolest skirt. It's a high-low cut and mainly colourful space print with pretty black lace detailing. There's no way the one on display would fit Danny, but maybe they'd have one small enough inside?

He turns hopeful eyes to his amused dad. "Yes, we can go look. Just don't run off."

"Yay!" Danny cheers. His family starts heading towards the store's entrance when an explosion goes off nearby. He's suddenly in Bernard's arms. As the "normal" civilian, he's tasked to get Danny away from danger when things inevitably hit the fan.

When the smoke clears, he sees Ra's fucking Al Gul and a bunch of ninjas standing in front of their group. A ballsy move. Danny has overheard 2/3s the people here discussing how much they want to straight murder the guy. He's not really sure when it happened, but his family is convinced Ra's is the reason he's tied to ectoplasum. He's made no move to correct that notion, why should he? He absolutely hates the creep and doesn't hide it.

And despite Danny's clear hatred, the evil old man keeps trying to kidnap him. Danny thinks it started as a way to get back at Tim. To either scare Tim or train Danny into being his lap dog and fight his family or something. Danny's not really sure of the details of what the asshole's plan was. Whatever it was, it changed the moment he learned of Danny's connection to the "Lazarus Pit". Now he wants to turn Danny into the "perfect heir" and/or experiment on that connection. It's actually really scary. Just another reason for Danny to hate him.

"Hand over the boy." Ra's tries to intimate Bernard, who just sneers. He's a true Gothamite.

"Fuck off, Ra's!" Tim snarls, taking out 3 ninjas. Oracle will wipe any evidence of "The Waynes" fighting ninjas later, so Danny isn't too worried. Especially because the metas and least likely to be noticed sneak away and come back in their hero/vigilante costumes before any real fighting happens. They take over the fighting while the "civilians" start acting like civilians for the cameras to lighten Auntie Barbie's work load.

Cops are called because it'd be suspicious if they weren't, and the "civilians" are saved! Ooo!

Danny hugs Bernard, careful to not hug too tightly. "I hate him."

"I know, baby." Bernard rubs Danny's back.

Tim leans in close, kissing the top of Danny's head. "I'm sorry he ruined our day out, sweetheart."

Danny nods solemnly, "It's not your fault he's a creep. He needs so much help. Mentally."

Tim and Bernard chuckle. Bart zips over, dressed as a civilian again. "Hey! Why don't we head to the Tower? We can play in the gym and eat cake!"

"Power Tag?" Danny asks hopefully.

"Only if you keep your powers within reason." Tim says like he does every time Danny asks. "Within reason" means Danny and Kon aren't allowed to fly where no one can reach or lazer anyone or freeze people to the floor, Bart isn't allowed to go too fast, and no one is allowed to use too much superstrength. The amount of speed or strength changes as Danny gets older and if non-metas play. It's baby steps for him to learn combat safely. They still have a lot of with all the things they're allowed to do. Danny and Kon are allowed their flight and can freeze the floor to make people slip, Bart is allowed to vibrate himself through anything not living, and Cassie is allowed to use normal rope to lasso them.

It's even funner when Roy, with dummy arrows, and/or the different Bats join. They all twist and jump around the gym, causing effortless chaos. The game is significantly harder when the Bats join, but it's still super fun.

The things he learned during those games have saved his skin multiple times in Gotham. Powers or no powers.

"Just remember to take out your earrings. You don't want them to get caught or break." Bernard reminds him, carrying him towards a Zeta tube.

Danny gasps, "I almost forgot!"

He wiggles to be set down once they're through the zeta, a device he hates, but is used to after 4 years of using it. He takes off his dangily moon earrings and holds them out to Bernard.

"Can you hold onto them, Baba?" The term was suggested by Damian when Danny struggled to find a third distinct way to call someone dad. Tim is Dad, Kon is Pa, and Bernard is Baba. They all do their best to co-parent Danny, so he wanted them to know he appreciates all three of them for it.

"Of course," Bernard slips them into his pocket. Bernard never joins power tag, so Danny's earrings are safe with him.

"Thank you-" Danny is cut off by Kon sweeping him up in a hug and twirling them in several circles. Danny squealing in joy the whole time.

"I'm so sorry, honey!!" Kon stops his spinning and hugs Danny with enough force to break a normal kid's ribs. "That crusty moldy bisket always shows up at the worst times!"

"Is there ever a good time?" Bernard snarks, making Danny giggle.

"No, there is not!" Kon kisses Danny's forehead. Danny loves all the physical affection his parents are willing to give him. They hand it out like candy on Halloween, and it doesn't hurt like Jack and Maddie's affection did 4 of 5 times.

"Dad and Baba said we can play power tag! Do you think Dad or my Aunts or Uncles will play?" Danny vibrates in Kon's hold.

"I'm not sure about your Dad, he wasn't feeling well earlier, but I'm sure the rest will agree if you ask."

"Is Dad getting sick?" Danny asks. Tim is prone to getting sick because of his lack of spleen. He hopes his dad wasn't pretending to be fine while they were out.

"I'm not sure. We'll keep an eye on him, alright? And if we see any weird behavior, we'll make him lay down." Kon says lowly, so no one should be able to hear.

"Okay!" Danny whispers back, before wiggling out of his Pa's arms and declaring, "I'm going to ask people to play now!"

The rest of the day was fun! He got everyone, but Bernard, Tim, and Bruce, to play. It's absolute chaos. After the game, Danny opens presents. (Everyone apparently dropped their gifts off at the tower before they went out.) He now owns 5 new rocket/spaceship models, 3 tomes about the supernatural, 2 newly released books on astrophysics, a beautiful bright green dress, punny socks, a giant green ghost plushy, and the space skirt from the window! Uncle Jason apparently grabbed it after everyone was headed to the Tower. It's a little big, but it means he can wear it for longer! He puts it on over his shorts, the tail drags a little, and the shorts are the only reason it's staying up at all, but Danny loves it. He hugs everyone and thanks them with the biggest smile.

Alfred brings the nicest cake Danny has ever seen to the Tower. It's a work of art, Danny almost doesn't want to cut it. Almost. It's delicious. Alfred gave everyone permission to eat a slice before dinner.

The only problem when dinner is served is that Tim suddenly bolts for the nearest bathroom. Bernard is the only one allowed to go in, while the rest hover outside. They can hear him throw up. Everyone is really worried. After about 10 minutes, Bernard half carries an exhausted Tim out of the bathroom.

"I'm not sick." Is the first thing out of his mouth, which justifiably has people shouting in disbelief. Tim waves a calming hand at them. "No, really, I'm not sick. I was going to wait at least a few days to say something, but that plan is out the window. "

"Wait a few days-? Tim, what?" Uncle Jason has his worried angry voice out, and Danny usually hugs him when he hears it, but he's too busy staring at his dad. Something trying to click in his brain, but he's not quite sure what.

"I'm not sick or injured. I'm pregnant." The commotion is instant. It's mostly excited shouting. Danny glances at his Baba and Pa's faces. Bernard looks surprised but happy while Kon looks like he's about to pass out, a mix of fear and excitement on his face. So Danny isn't worried about them.

Danny trots up to a tired and slightly wary Tim. "I'm going to be a big brother?"

Tim slips out of Bernard's hold to kneel down to be eye level with Danny. He gives Danny a sad smile. "If all goes well, then yes. I want to keep them, but my body might try to reject them. I hope they make it. You'll be the best big brother."

Danny hugs his dad. "I hope so. I hope we get to meet them."

Kon and Bernard sit on the floor on either side of them. Excited vibes surrounding them.

"Oh!" Steph shouts, "That's why you've been asking us to cover most of your fieldwork this week! We all thought it was odd, but thought you were just planning something for Danny's birthday!"

Tim chuckles, "I was, but I was also trying to limit physical stress. This is going to be a difficult pregnancy, but I want it."

"... At least you got laid this time." Steph teases.

"Steph!!" Several people scold her about being inappropriate with "little ears" present. Danny ignores them. He instead, using flight and a touch of superstrength, pulls his Dad to his feet.

"Danny?" Tim curiously asks, but doesn't stop Danny from pulling him through the room and gently sitting him on the couch.

"What food made you throw up?"

"Danny, it's your birthday. Go have fun. You don't need to worry about me or the baby." Tim tries, but Danny is stubborn.

"It's dinnertime. Meaning the party should be ending anyways. So after dinner, we're going home and maybe watching a movie while I work on one of my new models. After that, it's bedtime." Danny sternly tells him, ignoring the rest of the family's giggles. "So what food was it?"

The rest of the day/night goes exactly how he plans. He crawls into his parents' bed for snuggles and falls asleep listening to Tim's heartbeat.

Tim is banned from field work for the entirety of his pregnancy, and he has to deal with everyone being extremely protective of him. He's only mildly annoyed by the behavior. He's more grateful for it than anything. The pregnancy is hell on him. It nearly killed him, and he almost lost the pregnancy several times, but he doesn't regret it one bit when he's holding his ridiculous blond child. So first, he had twins with heteropaternal superfecundation, but then they merged into one baby with tetragametic chimerism. Meaning this single baby is rare and odd in so many ways, but that sums up their family.

Danny is infatuated with his new sibling. Helping out and "babysitting" the baby any chance he gets. (No adult actually leaves the newborn alone with a 7 going on 8 year old. No matter how mature the almost 8 year old is.) He's determined to be the best big brother. He remembers what his Dad said when he was a baby. A Drake protects what they claim as their's viciously. And Danny plans to do just that.

Tim is so proud. Bernard and Kon are amused and exasperated when Danny wrecks anyone who is even a little mean about his sibling. They're all more scared (for him mostly) when he freezes and shatters the limbs of Ra's Al Gul whe the fucker gets too close to the baby. He's not dead, but he's not recovering from what was done.

The Joker gets a similar treatment when he shows up while Jason is babysitting Danny. Danny sees how scared Uncle Jason is of him.

He does get lectured by his grandpa, but Danny doesn't care what Bruce has to say. He also doesn't see the problem, didn't kill them. Uncle Jason gets it. He spoils the hell out of Danny

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michellesneptune · 7 months ago

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HOW THE MOON SIGNS ACT WHEN THEY LOVE YOU pt. 2

cancer moon/4h

ultimate cuddlers!!!

this is really biased and feral but i feel like people are here for the tea??

although i think they can be extremely sweet and loving, my opinion remains the same: not all cancers are to be trusted. i think it’s heavenly to be in their good graces, but i also feel like the closer you get, the harder it becomes to be genuinely accepted by them. that is, of course, if they don’t see you as fully deserving of their love. i have yet to be in a relationship with a cancer sun/moon that gives me their full trust. i always feel like they’re frugal with their love towards me. their intentions seem a little hmmm unclear? like they will not speak up about something they don’t accept about you but slowly, in their hearts, they turn away from you??

i am of course speaking solely from my experience. moon is at home in cancer, embodying the archetype of Demeter — the goddess of fertility. when Demeter gets back her beloved daughter, she blesses the whole earth with months of fertile spring. however, when things don’t go her way and Persephone returns to Hades, everyone has to suffer from her sadness during the barren winter months.

if they perceive you as a really worthy partner, they will spoil you with affection. nevertheless, i’d rather not get the short end of their stick!

leo moon/5h

leos have this innate need to feel proud of their lovers. potential partners should possess the it factor about them, da special sparkle. this also applies to their friends! it makes sense, as the sun in them shines so bright, they want their people to illuminate as brightly.

i believe their standards are even higher than virgos’ or capricorns’ and it’s not talked about enough! leos will not engage with just anyone! they have this splash of royalty in them, they can sense a weak self-esteem from a mile.

they want to be able to talk and talk and boast about you. and they want you to make them feel like the only girl in the world.

but here’s the clue. if they feel like you’ve become too boring, their loyalty won’t let them break up with you but slowly the flames stop burning. i’ve seen this happen in a leo moon-taurus moon relationship which makes sense, as taurus prefers persistent, daily acts of service that build a steady, reliable love over time, whereas leo lives for the drama, for the promise of an eternal love, big displays of affection, achieving greatness together.

i’m so sorry if this sounds harsh. i find leo placements to be lovely, all the people i hold dearest to me have them (it’s my descendant sign!). they’re so so open and warm, nearly everything is easy with them.

scorpio moon/8h

i need a scorpio moon friend right. now.

they seem like small, adorable babies who will give up everything for the true, devoted love. their feelings’ depth knows no bounds. extremely loyal, obsessive in the best way possible, what they seek in the other person is a safe haven to hide all their emotions in.

they’re portrayed as very secretive and closed off, even manipulative, but inside they are dying to show somebody their real self. because yeah, behind the darkness there is a small sleepy kitten i feel like.

also here’s the thing: they didn’t choose the darkness, it chose them. their intensity is draining for you, but it’s them who have to deal with it non stop. their emotions are turbulent and it’s often hard to be peaceful, but if you’re willing to accept them as they are and share your own darkest vulnerabilities, they’re yours forever.

aquarius moon/11h

these natives are the best of friends that you could ever wish for! they’re extremely invested in their friend groups, always making sure to initiate contact and check in. they need this as much as they need to breathe and eat! as we know, aquarius is traditionally ruled by saturn, so maybe that’s why they act like glue, keeping their friendships alive, not letting the bonds fall apart as they often sadly do without proper nourishing!

in this situation though, a hierarchy is formed and, sorry to inform the hoes, you come after bros :((.

these guys can be so unpredictable with their feelings i guess there’s no formula on how to get them. i would say befriend them first and then be eccentric enough to still spark the electric interest, the one that they seek in potential partners.

what’s worth noting is the fact that aquarius is a fixed sign, so whatever their quirks may be, they ultimately are loyal and devoted. they are a great paradox and even if they seem detached, they pay attention to their surroundings. whom they need is a persona as big as theirs, someone that shares their passion for the world and everything it has to offer, preferably concerned with big ideas and humanitarian causes. they notice magic in the mundane so their spouse needs to be special as well! when they find you and you find them, you become their person.

the bond they create with lovers might seem unusual to those of more traditional views. aquarius natives need their time away and a lot of solo time to detach and recharge. however, in turn, they will blow your mind with extraordinary thoughts and you will never look at life the same!

#astro observations #astrology #astro community #astro notes #astro placements #moon sign

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trainer-from-unova · 2 months ago

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secret

Ⓢ english ao3 Ⓢ spanish ao3 Ⓢ masterlist Ⓢ

ship: the void x f!reader (x bob reynolds)

summary: where you're dating the void, and not even bob knows it. it was easy to hide the secret from him, it was the others who were the problem.

au: bob and the void are different personalities / did

c/w: post-canon, hurt/comfort (but not for poor bob), void bullying bob

a/n: english isn't my first language and a kudo on ao3 will be appreciated even if you read it here <3

word count: 2281

It had been a good few months for Bob. Although he didn't dare use his powers again, he was now living free with the New Avengers in their tower. He had gained a group of friends, a family who loved him and really cared about him. What he didn't know was that he had also gained a girlfriend, kinda. And to his surprise, she was the one he shared the least alone time with, or so he thought.

It was easy to hide the secret from Bob, it was the others who were the problem. Luckily there were few of them in the team, but they still seemed too many. It didn't help that almost all of them were trained as spies and that one in particular could turn invisible, though at least Void had the ability to see her even if she turned invisible to the others.

They saw each other at night, when everyone was asleep and when Bob was supposed to be asleep, so Bob would have no gaps in his memory and wouldn't suspect anything. But it's hard not to make noise when you meet your partner in your room at night... Although the walls, doors and windows of the attic were soundproofed, they always tried to make as little noise as possible, as some of the team members had enhanced abilities.

And even if there was plenty of room, sometimes it was inevitable that they would bump into someone.

It was three o'clock in the morning when, kissing goodbye in front of Bob's bedroom door, they accidentally bumped into Bucky, probably awake due to insomnia or just awakened by a nightmare with traumatic memories. The couple separated quickly, and luckily the darkness of the place disguised well the facial expression of Void, so different and yet so similar to Bob's.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" said the soldier in a whisper.

"Don't worry about it," she said in the same tone, looking up at him as she took her boyfriend's hand, squeezing it tightly. And he understood perfectly what she was trying to communicate: "Play along with me and pretend". "Please don't say anything to the others, we want it to be secret," and in that sense she wasn't lying. "You haven't seen us and we haven't seen you, okay? This didn't happen."

Though it was dark they noticed him nod as he resumed his silent course, and Void merely said a silent goodbye to her as well, leaning over her slightly to kiss the top of her head as he grabbed the doorknob with one hand to slowly open the door and lock himself inside the room.

If only Bucky had been the only one who had discovered them unwittingly... But as time went on they all discovered them, and they followed the same strategy they had with this one.

Also, as time went on, Bob began to feel something for her. It was more than companionship and friendship, and perhaps it didn't make sense because he didn't have as close a relationship with her as he did with Yelena, but he could tell he had a special chemistry with her. He unknowingly caught the love that Void had for her.

And he might not remember the experiences of Void, but the muscle memory remained. He couldn't help but turn his neck in the direction ______ was facing, fix his eyes on her, sharpen his hearing at the sound of her voice, and even feel the urge to take her hand and kiss her. Clearly he didn't do that, because she wasn't his. He knew that. A voice inside him reminded him of it when he stared at her too long. "She's not yours." But he wanted to make her his, and he knew he needed female advice for that.

"Can we talk?" Bob asked quietly, shyly entering his best girl friend's bedroom after he knocked on the door with a few taps and she told him from inside that he could come in. "I need advice on a matter..." he said as he closed the door behind him.

"Sure," she replied as she got up from the bed she was lying on, sitting cross-legged and locking her mobile phone to put it away. "What is it?" she asked as she watched him approach her bed. "Is something wrong?" she asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"No no," he said quickly, reassuring her and dispelling any doubts about his mental health. "You see..." he sighed, staring off into nothingness, mentally thinking about what he was going to say and how he was going to say it, "I like ______," he said shyly, "and, I don't know," he shrugged, "I was wondering if you could give me some advice on... I don't know- Winning her over and maybe asking her out," she looked at him completely quizzical, frowning.

"Weren't you already dating her?"

"What?" he asked now, in the same tone and with the same facial expression. "No."

"Oh so you're just having an affair...?" she asked, a little less confused.

"No, not even that," he said still just as confused, and the same level of confusion returned in her.

"I saw you together one night," she remembered, "kissing in the middle of the hallway."

"Are you sure it was me?"

"Well, yes — it was dark, but..."

And she stopped dead in her tracks, falling silent for a second. As soon as they both heard the word "dark" they looked at each other tense and nervous, but with understanding.

"Do you think she knows it's not me?" he asked.

"How could she not know? If she thought it was you she'd be throwing herself into your arms all the time."

Knowing that she was well aware that it wasn't Bob he felt a mixture of emotions: sadness, anger, surprise, confusion, envy, jealousy... He found it hard to believe, and if that wasn't enough, Yelena added more information:

"______ told me you wanted it to be a secret, asked me not to tell anyone and to pretend I hadn't seen anything even with you- with them," she corrected herself quickly.

"Good God," he said getting up from the bed, pacing back and forth hysterically, "How did- How did he- How did they- Oh my God," he was overwhelmed by all the questions on his mind, but he didn't want Void to show up to answer them, let alone lose control of the body. "What should I do?" he asked looking at Yelena at last.

"First calm down and then talk to her. There is no other option."

Unfortunately she wasn't present in the tower, she had gone out for a while and because of that he went to ask Yelena for advice at that very moment. He had to wait for her to return, and the wait became eternal and deadly.

"What is it, honey?" she asked as she set her bag on her desk, her back to him. He wasn't surprised by the nickname as she often called him and the other men in the group that. They were in her bedroom, with the door closed. She had just arrived and didn't even have time to take off her shoes.

"By that do you mean me? Or Void?" He said behind her, trying not to sound too annoyed, and it was a good thing she had her back to him, because the way her face darkened wasn't at all disguised. She tried to recompose her facial expression before turning to look at him.

"What?" She asked pretending to be confused, though she really was, but in the way she was pretending to be.

"Don't play dumb with me," he said, not completely annoyed but clearly not happy — he was nervous and tired, eager for this awkward moment to be over as soon as possible. He didn't like confrontations, even if they were only verbal and seemingly peaceful.

"What do you know?" she asked, now really serious.

"Enough," he nodded, infected by her seriousness.

"And how do you know that?" she asked as she crossed her arms.

"That doesn't matter now," he replied. "What kind of relationship do you have?"

"We're dating," she reported matter-of-factly but still folded her arms, lifting her shoulders slightly and looking at the ground for a second. The confirmation from her side felt like a stab in Bob's chest. There it was again, that mix of emotions inside his chest.

"Okay, leave him," he said.

"Just because you say so?" she said sarcastically as she laughed, snorting through her nose. She didn't mean to be rude, but she wasn't liking the conversation and wanted to make her position clear. "I'm not leaving him," she said shaking her head subtly, "and he's not leaving me. Our love life is none of your business."

"A monster like him can't fall in love," he informed her, trying to talk some sense into her.

"He's not a monster, and he can," she said annoyed and hurt.

"It's impossible," he replied.

"No," she shook her head again, growing more and more annoyed and hurt.

"I mean- You're wonderful, but-" he hastened to correct himself, blushing slightly, closing his eyes tightly and holding up his hands.

"I know him better than you do Bob," she said.

"Better than me!?" He couldn't help laughing in the same way she laughed before, but the laughter didn't last long. "I just want to protect you," he said desperately now.

"I don't need your protection," she said annoyed.

"You're not safe with him!" he said, also annoyed.

"He's changed!" She opened her mouth to say something else, but was interrupted.

"Oh, you fixed him?" he said annoyed but with a smirk, laughing as he looked at her raising eyebrows.

Now she was the one stabbed in the chest. Her face softened, but not in amusement or joy, but in utter hurt. She looked at him as if he had betrayed her. Her eyes widened like discs as she listened in surprise at such audacity, but they also trembled, as did her narrowed lips. He quickly realised the mistake he had made, and in sorrow he approached her to try to take her hands and apologise, but she took a step back.

"...He talks to me better than you do," she said again, wrinkling her forehead as she subtly shook her head.

"𝖄𝖔𝖚'𝖗𝖊 𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝕽𝖔𝖇𝖊𝖗𝖙, 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖆𝖑𝖜𝖆𝖞𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖘𝖊."

"Nonono," he said in despair at hearing that, overwhelmed by the situation and feeling himself losing control. His facial expression and body language changed in an instant, as did his tone. "Robert, the hero," he said sarcastically as he moved closer to her to calm her in his arms. "I swear I'd kill him if I could," he said as he kissed her head furiously, looking furiously at the nothingness behind her back.

"He means no harm..." she said softly as she hugged him tightly.

"But bad execution," he said as he pulled away from her to put his hands on her cheeks, making her stare at him. "Don't listen to him. I love you," he said seriously.

"I know..." she said, looking him in the eyes. "But..." She looked down, sorrowful.

"He's jealous, he thinks he's a better choice for you," he said as he released her cheeks to take her hands.

"What?" she asked confused.

"Yeah, he's been in love with you for a while. I've tried to contain it as much as I can."

"Oh..." she said crestfallen and thoughtful. "Don't torture him too much," she looked back into his eyes, "he's got enough, the poor guy," and he rolled his eyes as she let go of his hands, but he had no choice. "I'm sure he knows it from the others," she said annoyed as she leaned her buttocks on the edge of the desk, arms folded. "Maybe it's time to come forward..." She sighed deeply, thoughtfully and worriedly as he raised his arms and rested his head in his hands.

She didn't like having a secret relationship, but she was aware of the opinion others had of her partner. It made her sick to remember it now, but in the beginning she thought badly of him too. How things had changed... She fell completely at his feet, but she had no regrets — he gave her no reason to do so, surprisingly.

"I don't give a fuck about what they think of me," he said nonchalantly, "but I know that unfortunately you don't," he huffed in annoyance, lowering his arms. "Are you sure about that? You know their first impression of me wasn't a good one."

"Why is that?" She said sarcastically, to which he couldn't help but laugh, moving closer to her, dangerously close, and placing one of his hands on the side of her hips, dropping the weight of his body on his arm and ducking his head and gaze.

"I can behave, you know that," he said smirking, and also leering.

"You can when you shut your mouth because you want them to think you're Bob," she reminded him without returning his gaze, still slightly annoyed, but he knew it wasn't personal but with the situation.

"I'll try," he laughed quietly, "just for you," he said softer now, sweeter, "mm?" He asked as he lifted and moved her chin in his direction with the index finger of his free hand, causing her to look back at him. She couldn't help but smile, albeit tiredly, and nodded her head silently. But then he leaned closer to kiss her on the cheek, now provoking a genuine smile and a slight blush on her.

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doodlenoodleboi · 5 months ago

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Senku l. (before & after the stone)

Headcanons, sfw,nsfw, suggestive…

Author’s note: Senku is a fictional character he is canonically 15-16 in the beginning of the series and 17-18 by season 3 not taking account for the manga which he is older. If in the future I make works on characters you deem unfitting for the roll of nsfw fiction or suggestive works of while aged up feel free to block me! Also a reminder that this is a fictional character, made up of lines/pixels. Do not waste your time writing petty hate comments which I will remove and are a waste of your life which you will not get back. I choose to be delusional about fictional characters for my own satisfaction, good day!

Word count: a lot

Before the stone

Sfw

Senku is a bit more less responsible before the stone as he is allowed to act like a kid. He often spends his time in the school lab or at home and can be seen with is small group of friends. (Taiju Oki and Yuzuriha Ogawa.)

Love and romantic relationships are something Senku has found himself uninterested in his teenage years. Dedicating himself to his craft and love for science.

You can take science away from the man but not the science from the man. (You really can’t do either)

Senku has found people conventionally attractive to a specific statistical standard but not to him personally and probably won’t ever given he doesn’t have a common attraction to physical attributes.

Though through statistics he can still find someone who he would be generally attracted to physically. Someone with glasses, makes their interests obvious ex: paint on body all the time, a lab coat or constantly wearing something of their special interest would be people he gravitates towards.

(As someone who is neurodivergent in the worst ways I think half the cast is autistic or a Shokunin if you will a person deeply dedicated to their craft.) So someone as such will attract Senku not romantically of course but they will be bound to cross paths.

There are a multitude of ways you could meet you might never meet but to keep it simple I’m going to give you a multitude of possibilities to have rot in your head.

Being apart of the school’s science club is one way always spending time with him constantly in the science room after school.

Being a dumbass needed tutoring friends with one of his friends but not with Senku directly, or competing for higher grades, a good enemies to lovers. Maybe you’re even apart of the school’s science club making you and Senku acquaintances if anything.

Senku doesn’t back down from competition when it comes to brains but quickly when it comes to fights. Being rivals to Senku is a good asset in the stone world getting you to be one of the first few people to be revived truly testing if you’re book smart (can do it in theory on paper in school) and street smart (do it for real and faster than the time given in school).

Senku was hesitant more than he ever has been getting in a relationship with you. Being shy was simply not an option for him, he thought it was a waste of time often making him coming off as stiff and blunt.

A relationship of romantic interest with Senku will never be said nor be official. He will never say he loves you or that he likes you even give he believes actions speak louder than words. If you give him time you will see through subtle ways that he is attracted to you.

He will ask you about things that don’t matter much: like should I choose this or that color the small things…

He’ll allow you to touch his hair if your one for pda, he won’t reciprocated often at most leaning into the touch out of pure comfort. He won’t push you off understanding that this is a love language (that did take him a while to understand.)

Senku’s love language is quality time and gift giving. This is more often seen in the stone world but it expressed as well before hand even more so if you’re a science nerd along with him.

He’ll be willing to conduct experiments with you along with share materials with you which is a rare thing for him being an only child never having to share much of anything.

I believe that Senku is aroace or at the very least ace. He can still have platonic love and relationships but isn’t fond of romantic ones being in a romantic relationship from his perspective is his treating you like a best friend practically treating you like a mixture between yuzuriha and Kohaku.

Suggestive

Anything remotely romantic would have to be initiated by you and 9/10 you’re going to either get pushed off. Or he just sits there waiting for you to get over with it. Something like the (kohaku kissing Senku scene in season 3)

For your sake he has experimented once or twice before with make out sessions or kissing to get you to do something (like get you to do an experiment with him.) any kind of physical touch from him romantic wise once again if not initiated by you.

He’s a responsible enough person to know better than to have sexual intercourse at his age nor is he interested enough to risk it not that questions about it don’t cross his mind but we’ll explore those much later down the line.

Though he’s more likely to tease you occasionally and lean his arm atop your head if you’re short. Expect this more often if you have curly hair

If you have 4c or curly hair in general he will be near you more often especially if you’re a foreigner. Have issues finding hair products for your hair type in Japan? He got you give him a couple strands of your hair next thing you know he has a whole list of products for your hair and product sample packets surrounding him.

Nsfw

Sorry there is none Senku was not interested in sexual acts before the stone nor very much after.

Though he will ask you a lot of “inappropriate questions” but i promise you he’s just genuinely curious. And he’s not trying to infer anything he promises.

After the stone

As I said Senku’s love languages are gift giving and quality time. This becomes more apparent in the stone world. If you had something you held close best believe he will try his best to make it for you. If you’re an artist he’s make brushes and paint etc…

He’s a bit kinder and softer after the stone. People he has known longer therefore care for more he unconsciously takes them on more missions with him around or in a safe space.

If he knew you before the stone you’re likely to be one of the first people out of stone. Though if not you are an important asset and he sees you for your skills and talents so be grateful for that.

If you’re a creative type expect to be paired with Yuzuriha often. A martial artist or athlete expect Kohaku and Taiju.

What Senku appreciate most is people interested in his work, he loves experimenting and explaining his process even to those a who don’t understand so please entertain him for a while if you expect at friendship let alone a romantic relationship.

People who are aroace can have relationships but they can often be on sided in the romance department. It’s not that they don’t love platonically you they just don’t know how to react to that romantically or don’t want romance.(yall can choose if Senku is aroace or not) As long as you’re ok with that your relationship with Senku will be fine. (I’ll just write him as dense to love for yall though.)

Senku if he does love you will occasionally indulge in your romantic behavior and take this a complent if it was a last resort he wouldn't be against procreating with you. (it took him a lot to admit that so you better take it.)

Romantic relationships are often seen as an inconvenience given he doesn't see the need for them and doesn't think he could would be the best fit for something like that.

He true for the most part but he is able to be in a romantic relationship. It may not be as romantic as a you like but if he has an interest in you he will unconsciously do these things. Don't expect any hand-holding and kissing though.

The only way you could get him to hold your hand is for technical reasons like you not getting lost.

Suggestive

I do agree with the fact that Senku would experiment on his significant other and I think this would be more common before the stone but in small ways.

An unexpected romantic act to see how you respond.

He will use this advantage if gen tells him you like him or something for free labor but we won’t abuse it he’s not that mean.

The only way I could see a “relationship forming” Is Senku using you for labor and “paying you” with physical touch. Kisses, hugs and stuff, he likes you platonically but as time goes on he starts experimenting with you first it’s his far will you go for each type of affection. Then it’s soon how will you react to this or that. He says it’s not you that he loves but the reaction you make like a chemical reaction in your mind. Knowing his autistic ass it might be true but the way he acts makes you unsure.

Or maybe finding a girl smarter than him would rial him up he might see you as arrival at first. You guys could be partners, he swears he doesn’t love you, but the science you create the knowledge you know, that wrinkly brain of yours.

He tends to have a love for things rather than people in a way he loves science and the things people are good at their talents but maybe not themselves, he swears but he does establish relationships with characters like Gen and Chrome as friends so I’m sure he can establish a romantic relationship if we take this route.

Then I could actually get into how Senku would “experiment” with his “friend” this would create an friends with benefits kinda situation but it’s not like Senku sees it like that he just doesn’t have time for labels and probably wouldn’t care about it. Just don’t call him pet names because he doesn’t like it. The relationship would be private so the villagers don’t make a fuss, for as far was that would last with Gen around.

NSFW - ish

Let’s talk about Senku’s experiments

Of course you consented to this but you might know what your getting into 100%

It’s basically just a very handsy check up while he asks you questions you may or may not be able to answer.

Ex: “Are your breast sensitive? There is a high concentration of nerve endings present in that area, making them one of the most sensitive parts of the body. While he’s over here playing with them in every way imaginable. He’s going to continue to do this for every inch of your body and take an analysis writing how painful each part is and or sensitive.

So I’ll let you guys imagine that

Thank you for reading!!

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markleessodalite · 5 months ago

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Loving You in Little Ways: NCT Dream

headcanon: how do the dreamies express their love for you in those small, almost unnoticed ways?

warnings: none :D its all fluffy baby

Mark:

Your humor becomes his.

Not only does he start stealing your jokes to use on his own friends, he also finds humor in things that might not have amused him before, just because they make you giggle.

Mark is already someone who thinks everything is funny, so how lucky is he to meet you, someone who finds humor in every situation?

There is rarely a time you two are together that you don’t have him in fits, and he thinks everyone should be able to experience the pure laughter and joy that you bring him.

(although his friends would argue that the jokes are not nearly as funny when he’s the one delivering them)

Renjun:

He gets you everything you need before you ask. Even before you realize you need it.

If he’s getting out of the shower and notices your moisturizer is a little less than half full, he’s stopping by the store to get you more tomorrow.

If you have the perfect pair of emerald earrings to wear with your dress tonight, but no necklace to match, he’s taking you to the jewelry store before the function.

All your special vitamins, hair care products, your favorite coffee, that one very specific brand of gel pens you use exclusively– whatever it is, Renjun just has a talent for noticing when you need it, and he’s the one to get it for you.

Jeno:

Little touches, anytime, anywhere.

Jeno may not always be super showy when it comes to expressing his love for you. He’s not a grand gestures kind of guy.

But there’s no doubt in your mind how he feels about you when his hands are on you 24/7.

Whether he’s lacing his fingers with yours while cuddled on the couch, pulling on the belt loop of your jeans to pull you in for a quick kiss, or tugging on the sleeve of your coat trying to get your attention off your phone and onto him.

You rarely go for more than a few minutes without feeling his fingers tracing along your body, searching for any little space to settle themselves in.

Haechan:

He wants to invite you to everything.

Sometimes dating Hyuck feels like dating all of his friends, too. If the group is planning to do something together, Hyuck’s first question is whether he can invite you or not.

Sure, it was a little awkward when you were sat on a bench watching them all play basketball, even though you were the only gf there, and you have absolutely no interest in basketball.

But Hyuck just can’t stand the idea of going out and having fun without you! Especially if its something thats not going to be fun– if he has errands to run, he needs you there with him to keep him sane.

If Donghyuck is going literally anywhere, there’s a 99% chance he’s begging you to go with him.

Jaemin:

Jaemin doesn’t love in little ways.

Everything with him is big, and grand, and romantic– and it doesn’t take much for small moments to become big.

One minute you’re cuddling on the couch, the next minute he’s twirling you around, copying the dancers on the tv.

One minute you’re sharing a soda in the kitchen, the next minute he’s cooking an extravagant meal for you to share at a candlelit table.

Jaemin has such a talent for making a random weeknight feel like the pinnacle of a romantic holiday, for turning microscopic sparks into fireworks, that you’re sure he somehow plans every single moment of your time together beforehand.

In reality, Jaemin just loves you, so truly and dearly, that he doesn’t know how to show it in little ways.

Chenle:

He listens. Particularly, he listens in moments when he’d usually be talking.

Chenle loves to talk, to discuss, to gossip, to yap on and on and on, and its certainly no different around you.

But in the quieter moments, when its just the two of you, he’s not talking or discussing or gossiping. He’s hanging on your every word, listening to you as if your story about an almost-forgotten high school memory is sacred scripture.

He takes everything you say to heart, which is how you discovered he’s a little more sensitive than you initially thought (and now you know not to joke about those few little things that make him tick).

He listens to you, drinking in every string of poetry that falls from your lips, and he remembers, ingraining every detail into his own brain until he knows you better than you know yourself.

Jisung:

He stares. He just kinda… stares at you.

You thought it was weird at first, especially when you would catch him and he’d immediately look away as if he’d just broken some unspoken rule.

Eventually you realized this staring was more a symptom of Jisung not totally knowing how to show you he loves you.

He’ll notice your hands close to each other while walking at night, and he’ll think about how he wants to hold it. Then he’ll think about whether he should hold it or not. Maybe you wouldn’t want him to, or maybe if he reaches for it you’ll pull away at the same time and it’ll be awkward…

and that’s when you notice him looking down at you a little too long, leaving you wondering what he’s thinking.

Of course, him being a little timid about affection isn’t the only reason he stares at you. He also finds you quite pretty– utterly captivating, actually, which is the main reason why he can’t stop looking at you.

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saintshadow · 1 month ago

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❝ 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐦 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 ? ❞

🌊✨𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐢

⤥ self image ⤦

You are transitioning into a new stage of life & maturity. Some of you could be entering your Saturn return or entering into a Saturn transit. So this would be my Aries people. Which makes sense, because you the main idea that came to my mind here was self image. The emperor reversed did show up, so it really weaves that together. It seems like you have not always been confident, or felt that you had the vitality to stand on your authority. You could have been undermined in some way, or possibly even released some kind of authority position. You may have also released possessive, stingy, immature, & self centered behaviors. You have transformed a lot, and I sense that this group is rather manipulative because that word keeps coming up. You may be learning more how to use these skills to your benefit and not your detriment, you’ve always been very crafty and I see that this will pay off for you. There may be more fertility and abundance entering your life, you’re being asked to put more effort into something. Perhaps an idea or a concept. You’re being given opportunity to make something super unique, so you need to hop on that quick. Push for something greater, and I heard something about unification or reunification.

A change in outlook regarding a relationship, partnership, goal, or even a deal could occur. I don’t see it being bad per se, I do sense some tension and anxiety- but overall I’d say that you should be good. I am seeing snake imagery, but I do see that something about you is divinely protected. I keep envisioning snakes in the grass biting someone’s ankles, just step carefully- I’m thinking of a minefield. Something is about to blow up, and you have to move carefully to avoid collision. If you think quick and react without hesitation you should be able to avoid conflict. I sense that you may be experiencing some form of hesitation and I think your spirits are warning you to slow your role. Take time sowing your seeds, & remember that the here and now is very potent for you.

I see a significant change coming into your self concept. You are going to be more “strict” about things, potentially seeing a shift in approach to an issue or situation. I’m seeing suits and ties- business people & shit. It’s like a group of people in a meeting. You could be sharing or contributing ideas to a group. So perhaps your contributions or approaches will become more solid. You will have more to offer as a companion, business partner, etc- or perhaps you’re starting to understand your strengths and weaknesses which is allowing you to become a better business partner. I keep hearing business partner.

Someone may gift you something soon as well, potentially a ring or bracelet.

🐚✨ 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐢

⤥ Imbalances ⤦

ᓚᘏᗢ : 🗯🎧 3005 by Childish Gambino is a song I channeled for this pile. Y’all are special and get a channeled song don’t tell p1 & 2 🤫🤐

So yeah, I feel like y’all are learning the value of relationships and how to be better in your relationships. Perhaps you’ve usually been on the receiving end of halfassed love & through negative experiences began to believe that effort wasn’t worth it in relationships. You could’ve become colder, more unsettled, and confused af. You’re currently finding clarity and you are learning where you start and other people begin. Could have Neptune in 7H or opposite descendant. It’s like you’re learning what reciprocity is about- you’re realizing where you fall short and picking up the slack. Perhaps you’ve realized conflict is not entirely avoidable- and that doing everything you can constantly to avoid it is hurting you and NOT helping you. You’re learning how to really RESOLVE conflict, and how to communicate effectively and advocate for peace and harmony in your relationships. The bigger picture is being revealed to you.

There were a lot of chaotic, confusing, & uncomfy situations that transpired over the last few years that are going to start adding up. You’re going to understand the purpose these experiences brought as you re-enter a state of experimentation in life. You might rekindle some old friendships or relationships, or you could be communicating with past people. Someone wants to show you something, or help you find something. I see you becoming more aware of your actions & the impact you have on others. You could assume that you are not as impactful as you actually are. People remember you, & you may start to realize that. Your impact is also more positive than you think, people really respect & admire you- this will be made abundantly clear. Someone could even be speaking on your behalf or defending you behind closed doors.

Your true feelings, & where you’ve secretly become numb. I see you being challenged to overcome this numbness, to bring life back into your heart. You sometimes can be so closed off and cold that others can’t seem to reach you. Someone could be helping you overcome this or notice it. You may not be as emotional as you think- perhaps just easily triggered. Perhaps you’re rediscovering a sense of “numbness” which comes naturally to you- being less invested in emotion & emotional expression. Becoming more logically minded and focusing on results & numbers.

You’re becoming aware of the logistics, numbers, & actions needed to create harmony & attain a specific desire. Something is being made accessible to you, just within reach- however you’ll need to be creative to fully grasp it. Don’t be nervous; your mind is perfectly attuned to receiving this thing. Get into your flow while allowing the path to be revealed. Sometimes darkness is the key to the light. Perhaps dreams, feathers, cameras, the color gold, solar energies, or beaches are somehow relevant. I also keep seeing crows. This is a very visual/audio vibe kind of group. Not only did you get channeled images and concepts but a song. Perhaps your spirits communicate with you through images & songs.

If you’re interested in exploring divination you could start with shufflemancy- perhaps writing concepts on paper as well and scooping them out of a bowl or holder to get your messages.

🪸✨ 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐢𝐢

⤥ effort ⤦

To be honest it seems like you don’t put in as much effort as you should to become an authority or master like you desire to be. some of you could be realizing perhaps that you aren’t as much of a master as you initially assumed & that you jumped the gun about something. You’re learning that deceptive or halfassed effort can have consequences- you may have taken on too much authority or have positioned yourself as a figure of authority when it wasn’t appropriate. This could be in work, school, relationships, etc- I feel like you are going to be making a decision that you thankfully do have the tools to make. You could be considering speaking out about something, or perhaps defending yourself regarding something. You need to stop sitting & thinking about what you want & start putting in effort. You’re becoming aware of your lack of effort and consistency. You are learning from your pain, heartache, etc that you experienced which took you in a different life direction unexpectedly.

You’re being made aware of the fact that you have an opportunity for redemption of this mistake; alternatively you’re being offered an opportunity to better or improve something & being reoffered a position or connection to a community. Perhaps you’re being forgiven, or you are turning the odds in your favor. Your past experiences of exile or rejection have led you to understand so much more about life & what it has to offer. A new cycle is starting, & in this cycle you will be rectifying harm that was caused unfairly. You will be healing people, situations, etc-

my advice for some who are just now realizing that they have mispositioned themselves. Take a step back. Consider how you got here, what actions you took, what contributed externally and internally- how you can assure that you won’t allow this to happen again. Be humble enough to accept redirection, & understand that intelligence doesn’t mean constantly being right. You may not have given as much as you were receiving, or contributing out of vanity or greed. Perhaps you are reconnecting with a version of yourself that is more idealistic and creative. I see you expressing a lot of ideas or becoming aware of a new desire. A new outlook, something is really changing in your desires tbh. The fact that consistency and quality is more important than having something to offer at a moments notice. Even if it takes you longer or becomes a slower process you’ll start to realize the value in taking your time. You sometimes don’t see your reactivity, egotism, or emotional immaturity. It seems like you are going to become aware of the fact that you sometimes allow your ego’s wounds to guide you. You’re learning how to be more stable and secure in the way that you take care of & contribute to yourself and others.

#tarot community #tarot online #tarot reading #pick a card #pac #pick a pile #tarotblr #pick a picture #pac tarot #tarotonline #tarotcommunity #tarot witch #free tarot #daily tarot #tarot cards #tarot #tarot deck

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frostimochi · 6 months ago

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resolutions

(logan howlett x reader)

summary: You and Logan attend a New Years party hosted by Wade. With the countdown to midnight, you both get caught up in the moment and share an intimate moment with each other.

word count: 2.4k

author's note: i unironically had a dream about this the other night, so of course i had to share with the class, days earlier than planned. this takes place a year after deadpool & wolverine. enjoy! :>

find it on ao3 here

. . .

New Years was awfully unpredictable for you. Every year seemed to bring a different mix of highs and lows, leaving you wondering whether the holiday was even worth celebrating. This year, you didn’t even plan to—until Wade showed up with an invitation to his apartment against your will, promising the "social event of the decade." Against your better judgment, you agreed, dragging Logan along as your buffer for whatever insanity awaited. After all, how bad could it be?

It turned out, predictably, to be very bad.

The party was chaotic, as expected when Wade was involved. Streamers hung haphazardly from the ceiling, balloons were scattered across the floor, and someone had already popped open a bottle of champagne—two hours early. The stereo blasted a mix of '80s rock and whatever Wade had decided was "party music," which helped to create an unforgettable experience. And not in a good way.

Surrounding the room, couples were unable to keep their hands to themselves, unflatteringly in your direction. One group of friends were drunkenly laughing as they took selfies under a sagging strand of broken lights, while others swayed together to the mismatched beat of Wade’s horrendous playlist. You watched everything unfold, while Dogpool sat on your lap, constantly begging you for more cuddles.

Logan sat on the couch beside you, opening a bottle of beer, his expression a mix of irritation and mild amusement. He never wanted to come, but you’d convinced him. And of course, how could he say no? The promise of decent company and free booze was enough to get him to tag along. And though he wouldn't say it out loud, he also secretly loved spending time with you.

As Wade danced dramatically in the corner among the rest, Logan shot you a look that said, "This is your fault."

You laughed at his expression, your hands still on Dogpool as you nudged his arm.

"Come on, admit it. You’re having a little fun."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Watching Wade do... whatever the hell that is? Sure, a riot."

"It’s interpretive dance," Wade called out, spinning in a circle before collapsing dramatically onto the floor. "I’m expressing the tragedy of running out of nachos."

Logan rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched in a barely there smile. You caught it and grinned.

“Come here, Mary Puppins! Daddy has a surprise for you!” Wade shouted, diving toward you and grabbing Dogpool out of your lap before you could protest.

You blinked, hands still frozen in mid-air. "What the hell, Wade? She’s comfortable!"

Wade cradled Dogpool dramatically, making kissy faces at her. "Oh, but I have something better," he said in a sing-song voice. "A little treat she’ll never forget."

Logan raised an eyebrow from where he sat, grasping onto his beer bottle while watching the scene unfold. "Oh boy.”

You sighed, already knowing this wouldn’t end well. "I swear, if you try to feed her something weird—"

"Don’t worry," Wade interrupted with a grin. “I made her something special, to dedicate my first year with Puppins here, of course.”

"Let me guess," you said, crossing your arms. "You’re feeding her leftover pizza crusts and ranch dressing?"

Wade’s face lit up. "Are you shitting me? I’ve got something way better than that!" With that, he dug into the pocket of his absurdly tight pants and pulled out a tiny, half-melted sandwich. You swore that you could see a tiny bit of mold in it.

"Behold, a hot dog sandwich! You know, for dogs, because they deserve the best."

Logan stared at the sad creation in disbelief. "That’s just a hot dog in a bun. For you."

"Fuck no!" Wade grinned, holding the sandwich up like it was the Holy Grail. "This is an exclusive Dogpool meal—made with delicate care!"

Logan let out a low chuckle as Dogpool tried to squirm free from Wade’s arms, clearly more interested in anything but what her own owner had in store for her.

You grinned at Logan. "It’s a shame. This could have been a bonding moment for the two of them.”

Wade, completely unfazed by Dogpool's lack of enthusiasm, tried to coax her into taking a bite, which ended up with him chasing her around the apartment.

"Come on, sweetie! You can’t say no to this!”

"Guess Dogpool's smarter than all of us," Logan muttered, taking a swig of his beer as Wade continued his one-dog food fight.

You chuckled to yourself as you watched Wade flailing around the place, bumping into others without a care in the world. Logan’s lips curled into a small, satisfied smile, something that only appeared when he knew you were genuinely amused.

"Well, looks like I haven’t completely ruined your night," Logan remarked dryly, leaning back into the couch and taking another sip of his beer. His eyes stayed on you, still holding the faint smile on his face.

You nudged him gently with your elbow. "You’re enjoying this more than you thought you would."

His gaze flickered away for a moment before he gave a small nod, the corner of his mouth twitching again. "Maybe a little," he muttered, clearly not wanting to give you the satisfaction of admitting it outright.

. . .

As the night rolled on, a few more guests trickled in, and the energy of the room continued ebbing and flowing. Wade was missing for a bit, which kept things steady for a while. Logan stayed close to you, content to observe rather than participate. You didn’t mind; his dry commentary on the festivities kept you entertained.

You checked your watch for a moment. It was 11:48 pm. Leaning back in your seat, your eyes drifted back to Logan, wanting to start a conversation amidst the awkward silence.

"So, what’s your resolution?" you asked him as the clock neared midnight.

Logan’s gaze flicked to you. "Don’t do resolutions."

"Why not?"

"What’s the point? People make ‘em and break ‘em in the same week."

"Not everyone," you said. "Some people actually stick to them."

"You?" he asked, tilting his head. "What’s yours?"

You went into thought for a moment. You? A new year's resolution? Every time you’ve attempted to stick with one, it always ended up blowing up in your face. If there was anything you wanted more than anything to succeed in, it would probably be to get with Logan. Of course, the concept of it was foreign, but you fell for him the minute you met him. You knew that under the circumstances of what the two of you have been through, there was no chance you could tell him how you felt, or know if he reciprocated the same way.

But maybe it was time to put that all behind. A new year was approaching after all.

There was a long pause before you responded.

"To... take more risks, I guess."

Logan’s lips quirked. "Risks, huh? Like coming to a party with this crowd?"

"Sure," you said with a laugh. "Your turn."

He shook his head jokingly. “Same as you.”

Before you could press him further, Wade appeared, clapping his hands loudly. "Alright, people! Ten minutes to midnight! Time to get your New Year’s smooch plans in order. No shame in making deals, folks."

Everyone around the room had somebody close to them for the big countdown. It made you glance back at Logan. "You got a lucky someone?"

He gave you a look that made your stomach flip, but he said nothing. Instead, he took another sip of his beer, shaking his head.

A heavy sigh escaped you as you stood up, glancing around one last time. It seemed like nothing was going to change tonight. You made your way towards the kitchen, grabbing a drink to settle the quiet disappointment that had settled in your chest.

. . .

As the countdown began, the room filled with excitement. People paired off, others grabbed sparklers from a box Wade had inexplicably found, and you felt a small pang of awkwardness as you realized you didn’t have a plan for the midnight kiss. You hadn’t thought much of it; you’d figured it wasn’t a big deal.

"Ten!" Wade’s voice boomed over the music, causing the entire room to erupt into excitement.

People cheered and clinked glasses as the countdown began in full force. You could hear the muffled echo of it coming from every direction, but your focus remained on the drink in your hand, the sudden unease gnawing at you.

"Nine!" Wade continued, getting even louder. You shifted uncomfortably, your eyes darting to the couples already pairing up, lips ready for the tradition. It was just a kiss, right? A simple tradition, nothing more. But why did it pang your heart this much?

"Eight!"

The countdown sped on, the crowd growing louder, more energized. Your heart rate picked up in a way you couldn’t explain.

"Seven!"

You turned your head, glancing over your shoulder to the bar, then to the group by the windows, still holding your drink. But your mind was far from the surroundings. You hadn’t planned for this, hadn’t thought much about it until now. The idea of a midnight kiss had always felt trivial before, but tonight it seemed to matter for some reason you couldn’t grasp.

"Six!"

You looked around for something to distract you, anything to break the tension building in your chest. But as your gaze shifted around the room, you realized that Logan had somehow made his way closer to you, inching his way through the crowd, his quiet presence unnoticed by you as you remained lost in your own swirling thoughts.

"Five!"

The countdown ticked on, but your awareness narrowed to just the space between you and Logan. You felt a presence beside you, and for a moment, you didn’t even realize it was him until you looked up—his steady, unreadable eyes meeting yours. The air felt different, and you couldn’t tell if it was just the alcohol or something else entirely.

"Four!"

Logan’s gaze didn’t waver. You felt a flutter of nerves in your stomach, but there was a softness in his eyes that made everything else fade. The crowd continued to cheer, to count down, but all you could hear was the steady beat of your own heart, drowning out the noise.

"Three!"

Logan's hand brushed against yours. Deliberate, yet gentle, and the contact sent a small spark racing up your arm. You couldn’t help but look at him, a question in your eyes. Was this... real?

"Two!"

Logan’s face was in front of you, his hand reaching up to your face, his touch warm and steady against your skin. You couldn’t breathe for a moment, your heart racing at a pace you hadn’t expected. His thumb gently brushed over your cheekbone, a tender gesture that only made everything feel more overwhelming.

The countdown faded into the background as his face inched closer. Your thoughts scrambled, but there was only one certainty you understood. The way Logan was looking at you, the way everything seemed to quiet around you.

You didn’t pull away. You didn’t need to. For the first time that night, you felt grounded.

“One!”

The room erupted in cheers, but all you felt was Logan’s lips on yours. Warm, firm, and completely unexpected. The kiss was brief, but it lingered, a moment suspended in time.

When you pulled back, his eyes searched yours, an expression of quiet uncertainty mingled with something more. His lips were slightly parted, as if he was trying to process the same rush of emotions you were. Neither of you spoke. You simply stood there, close enough to feel each other’s breath, the world around you seeming to slow down even further. His gaze softened, a faint, almost imperceptible smile tugging at the corner of his lips. But he didn’t say anything—not yet.

The noise of the room swirled back into focus, but it felt distant, like a muffled backdrop to what you both were experiencing in that exact moment. Logan’s hand was still resting against your cheek. Warm, like it had always belonged there.

"Didn’t think I’d be here, doing this," Logan muttered under his breath, his eyes still locked onto yours. There was something vulnerable in his voice, and it made your heart beat faster.

Before you could respond, he let out a soft laugh, shaking his head as though trying to dismiss the weight of the moment. "Wade’s probably gonna never let us live this down," he added, the ghost of a grin curling his lips.

You couldn’t help but smile at his attempt to lighten the mood. "You don’t have to worry about him. I’ll take the blame," you said, the tension between you easing slightly.

Logan looked at you, his gaze more serious now, though there was still a glimmer of playfulness in his eyes. "I’m not so sure I mind…”

There was a pause of silence, but neither of you moved.

“Guess this is what happens when I let you talk me into things,” he said, his voice teasing but warm.

You chuckled softly, shaking your head. “I’m not complaining.”

He gave you a half-shrug, a small, hesitant smile pulling at the corner of his lips. " I’ve been thinking about this. Longer than I should’ve."

A mixture of surprise and warmth flooded through you. You could feel your cheeks flush, but the sudden honesty in his words was enough to settle the fluttering nerves in your chest.

"I’ve been thinking about it too," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, the truth coming out more easily than you'd expected. "Longer than I realized.”

His thumb gently traced the edge of your jaw, a gesture both comforting and intimate, as he let out a smirk.

"Guess we’ve been a little slow on the uptake, huh?"

“Let’s leave that for last year.”

You smiled, a soft, genuine thing, and his gaze softened in return. Neither of you needed to say more. You were here now, standing close, hearts open in a way they hadn’t been before. And maybe that was enough.

As the noise from the crowd picked up again, people shouting and celebrating the turn of the new year, Logan leaned in a little closer, his voice just for you.

“Happy New Year,” he murmured.

"Happy New Year," you replied softly, a small smile tugging at your lips. The rest of the world seemed to fade away again, the cheers and music just background noise.

And you were right where you needed to be.

#logan howlett x reader #wolverine x reader #logan howlett #wolverine #x men #x men imagine #logan howlett imagine #wolverine imagine #reader insert #marvel #marvel imagine #logan x reader #fic #ao3 #new year #holiday season #festive #fluff

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enhaflixer · 4 months ago

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newly turned vampire! riki x 400 y/o vampire f!reader - VAMPIRE SUPPORT GROUP

pure crack. fluff. i def got an ask for this but rn i cant find it at all.

You've been dead for 400 years, but nothing has made you feel more alive than watching this disaster unfold.

The vampire support group meets in the basement of an abandoned church—cliché as fuck, but the rent is cheap. You're only here because eternity is boring and watching newly-turned vampires panic about their condition provides at least mild entertainment. Four centuries of existence have left you with few novel experiences.

Until him.

He slouches in fifteen minutes late, wearing sunglasses indoors, at night, in a basement. Riki Nishimura, according to the name tag he reluctantly sticks to his leather jacket (which still has the price tag partially visible underneath the collar).

"Sorry I'm late," he says, clearly not sorry at all. "Had some, you know, vampire business to take care of." He flicks an imaginary piece of lint from his shoulder.

The support group leader—Gary, turned in 1983, still wearing the same outdated suit—gestures to an empty folding chair. "Welcome, Riki. Would you like to share your turning story with the group?"

Riki slides into the chair like he's auditioning for a yakuza film. "It's whatever. Got bit last week. No big deal." He shrugs with such calculated casualness that you have to press your lips together to keep from laughing.

"The transition can be traumatic," Gary offers. "It's okay to have feelings about it."

"I don't really do feelings," Riki says, adjusting his sunglasses. They slip down his nose, revealing eyes that are very obviously bloodshot from crying. He pushes them back up with his middle finger, trying to make it look intentional.

You've watched newly-turned vampires react in every possible way: the screamers, the deniers, the embracers, the religious crisis-havers. But you've never seen someone trying so desperately to seem unaffected while clearly being a complete internal mess.

"So what can you do?" asks another newbie vampire, Emma, turned three months ago. "Can you transform into a bat yet?"

Riki scoffs. "Transformation is for vampires with something to prove. I'm secure enough not to need to show off."

You know—everyone knows—he can't transform. Most new vampires can't. But his absolute commitment to this façade is fascinating.

"What about blood?" asks Gary. "Have you adjusted to your new diet?"

Riki pulls out a thermos with skull stickers on it. "It's fine. I'm on this special blend. Very exclusive." He takes a sip and visibly gags, then pretends he was just clearing his throat. "Smooth," he comments, voice strained.

It's too much. A small laugh escapes you.

His head whips toward you, noticing you for the first time. You, with your simple black turtleneck and jeans—no need for gothic theatrics when you've been dead since the Edo period.

The moment his eyes land on you, he chokes on his blood drink. Like, actually chokes. He spends a good ten seconds coughing into his elbow while trying to look like he's just thoughtfully clearing his throat.

"You okay there?" you ask, deadpan.

"Yeah, totally fine. Just, uh—" he straightens up, runs a hand through his hair, and somehow manages to make it worse. "Just giving my professional assessment of the, uh, acoustics in here. Good echo. Very... echo-y."

"Fascinating analysis," you reply, face completely blank.

He stares at you for a beat too long, then realizes and quickly averts his gaze, pretending to be deeply interested in a water stain on the ceiling. A faint reddish tint creeps across his pale cheeks—he must have fed recently for that to be possible.

"And you are...?" Gary prompts.

"Riki. I said that already," he mumbles.

"I meant her name," Gary clarifies with infinite patience.

"Oh." Riki's eyes dart back to you, then away again, like he's afraid looking directly at you might turn him to stone. Which is ironic, considering the whole vampire thing.

You don't volunteer your name. Names have power, and you've learned to be selective with yours over the centuries. But something about his painfully obvious awkwardness makes you say, "You can call me Y/N."

"Y/N," he repeats, like he's testing how it feels in his mouth. "Cool name. Very... name-like."

"Jesus fucking christ," mutters Emma under her breath.

The group moves on to discussing practical matters—how to get blood legally, avoiding sunlight, explaining to family why you can't do brunch anymore. Riki interjects occasionally with comments like "Sunlight? I think it adds character to just power through the burning" and "Family? I'm a lone wolf. Always have been." This last comment is immediately undermined by his phone lighting up with a text that clearly reads "MOM: Don't forget to call Grandma tomorrow, she's making your favorite cookies."

He hurriedly flips the phone over, then glances at you to see if you noticed. You maintain your perfect poker face, honed over centuries of watching humans make fools of themselves.

Throughout the meeting, you catch him stealing glances at you approximately seventy-three times. When you make eye contact, he either pretends to be looking at something else or gives you what he clearly thinks is a cool, aloof nod. It's like watching a middle schooler with his first crush, except this middle schooler has fangs.

"Before we conclude," Gary says, checking his notes, "a reminder that Councilwoman Bathory will be conducting inspections next week. All newly-turned vampires must register with the Council to receive their blood ration cards."

Riki perks up. "The Council? Like, vampire government? That's a real thing?"

You roll your eyes. "Of course it's real. Who did you think keeps humans from finding out about us? Pure luck?"

"I figured it was just, like, an understanding," he says, waving his hand vaguely. "Nobody talks about it because it's cooler that way."

"Yes," you deadpan. "Vampire society has survived for millennia on vibes alone."

Emma snorts. Gary shoots her a look.

"The Council is very real," Gary explains patiently. "And very serious about registration. Unregistered vampires are considered rogue and... well, it doesn't end well."

Riki's attempt at looking unimpressed falters slightly. "What happens to them?"

"They get staked," you say bluntly. "Or worse."

"What's worse than getting staked?" he asks, sunglasses slipping down his nose again.

You just stare at him flatly. "Use your imagination."

When the meeting ends, you find yourself lingering. He's trying to look disinterested, scrolling through his phone, but his thumb isn't moving. He's just staring at a black screen while casting furtive glances your way.

"First meetings are the worst," you say, approaching him.

He jumps like you've shocked him, then tries to play it cool by leaning against the wall. He misses the wall entirely and has to quickly readjust. "Nah, it was cool. Good to know there are other vampires out there, I guess. Not that I need, like, community or whatever."

"Of course not," you agree flatly. "You strike me as someone who has it all figured out."

"Exactly," he says, missing your sarcasm entirely. He runs a hand through his carefully disheveled hair. "So... you come to these things often?" He immediately winces at his own cliché.

"Only when I'm bored. Which is frequently, after a few centuries."

His eyebrows shoot up above his sunglasses. "Centuries? Holy shit—I mean, that's, uh, cool. Very cool. You don't look a day over..." he falters, realizing he doesn't know how to age you.

"Four hundred and twelve," you supply.

"Right. I was gonna say that."

"You know," you say, your lips curving into a slight smirk, "technically that makes me the ultimate cougar. I've got about four centuries on you."

His mouth falls open slightly before he catches himself. "I, uh—I mean—"

"I've literally known shoes that lasted longer than your entire existence," you continue, enjoying his flustered reaction. "I was drinking blood when your ancestors were still figuring out indoor plumbing."

"That's..." he swallows hard. "Actually kind of hot?"

Now it's your turn to be surprised, though you mask it better than he does. "Interesting response."

He shrugs, a hint of genuine Riki breaking through the cool façade. "What can I say? I've always been into older women. Though usually the age gap is more like five years, not five hundred."

"Four hundred," you correct.

"My bad. That makes all the difference."

For the first time in decades, you laugh—a real, unguarded sound. His eyes widen at it, like he's witnessing some rare astronomical event.

"You know," you say, "the sunglasses at night thing is very 1980s. If you want to seem current, you might want to update your 'cool vampire' aesthetic."

He whips them off so fast you're surprised they don't break. "These old things? I don't even like them. Just, you know, had eye surgery. Laser. Very... futuristic."

Without his shield, his eyes are a warm brown, currently dilated from the darkness and from staring at you like you're the last blood bag in a famine. They're surprisingly gentle for someone trying so hard to seem tough.

"There's a night market that caters to our kind a few blocks from here," you say. "They sell blood that actually tastes decent, unlike whatever you've got in that thermos."

"It's not that bad," he lies, clutching the thermos defensively.

"It's pig blood cut with iron supplements and probably hot sauce to mask the taste."

He stares at you. "How did you—"

"Four hundred years, remember? I've seen every trick." You turn toward the exit. "Coming?"

"With you? I mean—yeah, sure, whatever. I'm not doing anything else tonight. So yeah. Cool. Let's do it. The night market. Together. Walking. Side by side. Cool." He's nodding way too much.

"Or I could just go alone," you deadpan.

"No!" He clears his throat, lowers his voice. "I mean, no, I'll come. It's fine. I'm fine."

As you lead him up the basement stairs, you catch him frantically checking his reflection in his phone screen. Except, of course, there is no reflection—a fact he seems to have momentarily forgotten in his panic. He pockets his phone with a muttered "fuck."

The night market exists in a dimensional pocket beneath an ordinary-looking pawn shop. To human eyes, it appears closed, with dusty guitars and outdated electronics visible through grimy windows. To supernatural eyes, the neon sign reading "OPEN 24/7 FOR THE ETERNALLY DAMNED" is unmissable.

"No way," Riki breathes as you lead him toward the entrance. "I must have walked past this place a hundred times."

"That's the point," you say, pushing open the door. A bell jingles, but instead of the cheerful tone humans would hear, it emits a low, ominous toll.

The shop owner—a wizened, ancient vampire named Ichiro who came to Japan even before you did—looks up from his newspaper. "Y/N," he nods respectfully. His eyes slide to Riki. "New pet?"

"New community member," you correct, though you're amused by how Riki puffs up indignantly at being called a pet.

"I'm nobody's pet," he mutters, trying to appear intimidating. On a scale of one to threatening, he ranks somewhere around 'disgruntled kitten.'

Ichiro snorts. "Of course not." He turns back to you. "The usual?"

You nod. "And something palatable for the newborn. He's drinking pig swill."

"I told you, it's a special blend—" Riki starts, but Ichiro is already laughing.

"Follow me," the old vampire says, lifting a section of the counter. "And don't touch anything unless you can afford to replace it. Some items are older than your entire bloodline."

As you browse the market, Riki trying desperately to look unimpressed while clearly fascinated, you become aware of Council enforcers moving through the crowd. They're looking for unregistered newborns—apparently there's been trouble with newly-turned vampires killing humans.

"We should go," you murmur to Riki, whose face has gone even paler than vampire-standard. "Now."

You guide him through the back of the stalls, taking a circuitous route to a secondary exit you know from centuries of visiting the market. Once outside, in a quiet alley behind the pawn shop, you explain the situation.

"So there's killer newborns out there?" he asks, genuinely concerned.

"Seems like it," you reply. "Which means you should lie low for a while. Go straight home, stay inside, don't talk to vampires you don't know."

"But I barely know any vampires," he points out. "Except you. And Gary, I guess, but he's—"

"Riki," you interrupt, "I'm serious. This could be dangerous. Someone might be targeting new vampires."

He studies your face, seeing the genuine concern there. "You're actually worried. About me."

"I'm worried about the situation," you correct.

"Right." He doesn't look convinced. "So, this is goodnight then?"

You nod. "Go home. Stay safe."

"You too," he says, then adds awkwardly, "I mean, obviously you can take care of yourself. Being super old and all. Not that you look old. You look great. For someone born when people still thought the plague was caused by bad smells."

"Miasma theory," you provide.

"What?"

"That's what it was called. The theory that disease was caused by bad air."

"Cool. Very cool scientific fact." He shifts from one foot to the other. "So, uh, will I see you again? At the next meeting maybe?"

You consider him for a moment. There's something oddly endearing about his transparent attempt to seem aloof while being so obviously eager. It's been a long time since anyone looked at you the way he does—like you're the most fascinating thing they've ever seen.

"Probably," you say noncommittally. "If you don't get yourself staked before then."

He tries to look offended, but can't quite hide the smile tugging at his lips. "As if. I'm very stakeable. I mean un-stakeable. Fuck."

You roll your eyes, but there's no real annoyance behind it. "Goodnight, Riki."

You turn to leave, but his voice stops you.

"Y/N?"

When you look back, he's closer than you expected—he must have moved toward you without your noticing, which is unusual given your heightened senses. There's an intensity in his eyes that wasn't there before, a momentary break in his carefully constructed cool-guy persona.

"Thanks," he says simply. "For helping me tonight. For not laughing at me. Well, not laughing too much."

The sincerity catches you off guard. "You're welcome."

He nods, then seems to gather his courage. "Can I ask you something? Why did you help me? I mean, I'm nobody to you. Just some random newborn vampire you met at a support group."

You consider how to answer. The truth is, you're not entirely sure yourself. Maybe it's boredom. Maybe it's curiosity. Maybe it's the way he looks at you, like you're something special rather than just another ancient creature going through the motions of immortality.

"Let's just say you're more interesting than most," you finally reply.

"Interesting?" he repeats, a slow smile spreading across his face. "I'll take it."

There's a moment of silence between you, charged with something unexpected. His eyes drop to your lips, then back up to your eyes, a question in them.

"I should go," you say, but you don't move.

"Yeah," he agrees, but takes a step closer instead.

You can smell the blood on his breath—Jin's special blend, rich and complex. His pupils are dilated, whether from the darkness or from looking at you, you're not sure. Probably both.

"This is a bad idea," you murmur, even as you find yourself leaning slightly toward him.

"Probably," he agrees. "But I'm full of bad ideas lately. Becoming a vampire. Wearing sunglasses at night. Crushing on someone who was alive during the Spanish Inquisition."

"I was in Japan during the Spanish Inquisition," you correct, your voice softer than intended.

"Right." He's close enough now that if either of you still breathed, you'd feel it. "Still a bad idea though?"

"The worst," you whisper, and then close the distance between you.

The kiss is electric—literally, a small spark of supernatural energy passing between you. His lips are cooler than a human's would be, but still impossibly soft. He makes a small, surprised sound against your mouth, like he wasn't actually expecting you to kiss him, before responding with unexpected intensity.

For someone so awkward in conversation, he's surprisingly confident in this. His hand comes up to cup your face, touch gentle but certain. When his tongue traces the seam of your lips, you grant him access, and the kiss deepens.

You can taste the blood he's consumed, feel the newborn vampire energy thrumming through him—wild and untamed compared to your carefully controlled power. It's intoxicating, this blend of inexperience and eagerness. His fangs accidentally graze your lower lip, drawing a drop of your ancient blood.

The taste hits him like a drug. He groans, a deep, primal sound that resonates through you. His hands tighten on you reflexively, pulling you closer.

"Fuck," he breathes against your lips. "You taste like...I don't even have words."

"Four hundred years gives the blood a certain complexity," you murmur, slightly dazed yourself. It's been decades since you've allowed anyone to taste you.

He stares at you, wonder and desire naked on his face. All pretense of coolness has evaporated. "Can I—"

"No," you cut him off, regaining your composure. "One taste is all you get. For now."

His eyes widen at the implication of 'for now.' "Right. Cool. Very cool. I can work with that."

You step back, creating some distance between you. The kiss was more intense than you'd anticipated, and you need a moment to collect yourself. Four centuries of existence, and you're rattled by a kiss from a week-old vampire with a cool-guy complex and a price tag still visible on his jacket.

Pathetic.

And yet.

"Go home, Riki," you say, your voice steadier than you feel. "Stay safe."

He nods, still looking slightly dazed. "Yeah. Home. Safety. Got it."

You turn to leave, using your vampire speed to put some distance between you before you do something even more foolish.

"Y/N!" he calls after you.

You pause, looking back over your shoulder.

He's standing there, hair mussed from your fingers, lips slightly swollen from your kiss, looking simultaneously like the disaster he is and something unexpectedly precious.

"Just so you know," he says, a genuine smile breaking through his usual smirk, "I'm totally cool with the age gap. I've always said age is just a number."

"In my case, it's a pretty big number," you call back.

"More to love!" he retorts, then immediately looks mortified at his own words. "I mean, not love. Obviously. Just a figure of speech. Very casual figure of speech."

You laugh despite yourself. "Goodnight, Riki."

"Goodnight, ancient one," he replies with a mock bow.

As you disappear into the night, you hear him whisper, "Holy fucking shit" to himself, and then a triumphant "YES!" followed by what sounds suspiciously like a victory dance.

Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

And yet, for the first time in centuries, you find yourself genuinely looking forward to next week's support group meeting.

Maybe immortality isn't complete bullshit after all.

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rocknrollbabe14 · 1 month ago

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Protector

Johnny Storm x reader

Rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Warnings: slight self-doubt, p in v sex, breeding kink?, cream pie—If I forgot anything, let me know.

Author's Note: I researched some about Johnny Storm and FF before writing this but don't hate me if it's not 100% accurate.

**Also special thanks to @josephs-quinns for my amazing header!**

It had been days since Johnny had been knocked back to earth by the Silver Surfer. It didn’t matter that he was a superhero, part of him was still a human and he was hurt. He needed a few days to recover, and regroup with Sue, Reed, and Ben about how to handle things, and how to protect the world they’re living in. The public was beginning to lose trust in the Fantastic Four.

They could no longer guarantee the public’s safety. He hadn’t been very talkative, staying mostly in the bedroom you both shared. He wasn’t eating or drinking. You were worried about him.

Against your better judgment, you knocked on the door lightly. You waited for a response, giving you permission to enter.

“Come in.”, Johnny’s soft deadpanned voice responded.

Feeling more hopeful than before, you gently pushed the door open to the bedroom. Johnny was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He wasn’t his usual upbeat self. It hurt you to see him like this. But you didn’t quite understand what he was going through. You were human after all.

“How are you doing babe?”, you smiled softly, sitting down on the bed beside him.

He felt the weight of you, causing him to close his eyes for a moment before letting out a deep sigh.

“Not good.”

You gave him a sad smile, placing your hand on his shoulder. “Johnny, you can’t be so hard on yourself. This isn’t just up to you.”

Johnny eyed you sadly, disappointment all over his face. “It’s my fault.”

You crinkled your face in confusion. “How? How is it your fault?”

You were trying to get to the root of why he was blaming himself so easily. This was not the Johnny you were used to.

“Johnny.”

He eyed you. “We promised to keep this planet safe—that means keep you safe. And I’m failing you. Well, I just couldn’t imagine—if something were to happen to you.”

You stopped him immediately, sliding your hand down his arm, and taking hold of his hand. His fingers instinctively intertwined with yours.

“Nothing is going to happen to me—or anyone else on this planet. I know you all can save us. I believe in you, Johnny Storm.”

Johnny looked up at you, his expression easing some. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He quickly sat up, letting go of your hand before taking you in his arms and kissing your head. You smiled softly, embracing Johnny back. He pulled back just a little, his hand resting on the back of your head, fingers laced between your hair. A soft smile spread across his lips, a sight you had missed the past few days. Your heart soared just seeing him smile.

“What have I done to deserve you?”

You smiled, laughing lightly. “I don’t know—you just saved me that day.”

He remembered the day you were referring to. It started out as a normal day, one like any other. You were on your way to work, barely paying attention to your surroundings. Which was kind of stupid on your part, however, Johnny was nearby and trying to keep a low profile. That was hard since he and his family were launched into space, an experiment by his brother-in-law, Reed Richards. Somehow, the group was exposed to cosmic rays.

He noticed that disaster was about to strike, a pretty girl like you was about to get hurt badly He had to stop that. A car was barreling down the street, going way too fast. Johnny swooped in and saved you. From then on, you both had been inseparable.

“Best decision I ever made.”

“Oh stop it.”, you giggled, causing Johnny to smile once he noticed you were blushing.

“Never.”, Johnny laughed before he leaned in, beginning to kiss you.

His kisses started soft but progressed quickly, becoming deepened. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going to happen next. You were receptive to his moves, kissing him back with just as much excitement and lust. He may have been really attractive, but Johnny was a good guy. He was the best thing that had ever happened to you.

“Can I have you?”, Johnny asked breathlessly through kisses.

“Yes.”, you breathed back, eagerness laced in your voice.

Johnny had done a 360 from what his mood was earlier. He easily pushed you back on the bed, beginning to pull at your shirt. He brought it up and over your head while continuing to kiss you. He only broke the kiss when he had to. You could only imagine why all the women in the city thought Johnny was hot. Johnny wasted no time in moving his hands down your stomach, across your hips and thighs before finding the hem of your pants, and quickly pulling them down around your ankles.

He broke the kiss long enough to pull them off and toss them on the floor, keeping eye contact with you the entire time. It made your heart skip a beat and your stomach twist into knots. It had been a couple of weeks since you both had sex. Johnny was distracted with the Silver Surfer and Galacticus business. It had been eating at him but maybe this was just the distraction he needed.

Wasting no time, you reached for his t-shirt, pulling on it. He chuckled through the kiss, knowing exactly what you wanted.

“Want to take my shirt off?”

“Yes.”, you responded, almost breathless already and this had just begun.

Johnny broke the kiss completely to lean up slightly, allowing you to pull his t-shirt up and off of him. All you could do was admire his chest and muscles. You had really won the lottery in all ways. Johnny smirked, noticing you taking the time to admire him. It made him want you that much more. He had definitely been distracted and had lost sight of some of the most important things in his life: you and his family.

He was quick to pull his pants off, leaving him in his boxers. He chuckled lightly, noticing how hard he already was for you. You noticed too, beginning to smile.

“Hm already hard for me, huh?”, you teased, smiling.

“I am.”, Johnny responded confidently. “It’s been weeks since I’ve had you.”

Johnny continued listening as he threw off his last article of clothing, letting his cock spring free, finally feeling some relief. He was aching for you, he needed you.

“I’m aware. But you’ve been busy and distracted with all of this chaos.”

He nodded lightly, positioning himself back on top of you. “I know. I’ve lost sight of the things that really matter.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s been stressful. But tonight, I don’t want you to think about anything but us.”, you breathed before kissing him.

“I won’t.”, he promised.

You smiled lightly before he went back to kissing you softly, feeling his cock brush again your entrance. It was like he was teasing you and you were already reaching the point where you felt like you couldn’t endure much more. He noticed, watching your eyes bat shut while you swallowed hard. He loved it when you were vulnerable like this. You trusted him.

“Ready for me?”, his voice asked deeply between feverish kisses.

“Yes, Johnny. Please.”, you squeaked.

He chuckled seductively before pulling away from you slightly, fixing himself at your entrance. You were already soaked for him. That only boosted his ego, knowing how much you loved him and desired him. Sure, the women loved him but he only loved you. Without you, he didn’t know what he would do. That’s what worried him so much with the Silver Surfer and Galacticus.

“Say no more.”, Johnny smirked, thrusting his hips and inserting his full length inside you causing your eyes to go wide and a long, drawn-out moan to escape your pretty mouth.

It was like music to his ears. He gave you a moment to adjust to his length, watching your eyes roll back in your head. The feeling of him inside you was pure euphoria. There was no other way to describe it. Your hands gripped the sheet, your knuckles turning white. And he hadn’t even started moving yet. He watched you for a moment, taking in this moment in case this was one of the last times. Johnny, stop thinking like that.

Your eyes opened, and you sighed lightly. At that moment, he knew you were ready for him. He began thrusting deep inside you, soft and slow to start. You’d tell him if you wanted it harder. A series of small moans escaped your mouth as Johnny began to hit the spot that was just right. Your hands left the sheets, finding Johnny’s forearms before moving up to his biceps.

He had been working out lately, trying to make himself stronger. He let out a small groan as he felt your nails dig into his skin.

“Feeling okay?”, he asked softly.

You nodded, breathless.

“Good, that’s so good. Fuck, you feel so good.”, he moaned as he closed his blue eyes, letting himself go.

It was time to focus on the here and now, on you.

“Do I?”, you managed to tease in a seductive voice.

“Fuck yes, baby. You’re so fucking sexy.”

You giggled lightly, relaxing under him. It felt good to hear Johnny say those things to you. It made your stomach twist and turn in ways you didn’t even think was possible. He was good at that—hell, Johnny was good at everything.

“Whatever.”, you smirked at him, rolling your eyes playfully.

“It’s true,”, he groaned as he pulled himself almost all the way out before pushing his cock back deep inside you, causing you to moan and your eyes to roll back. “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

He knew the moves that would drive you crazy and that’s just what he wanted tonight.

“I kn—ow.”

“Do you?”, Johnny challenged playfully. “Seems like I’m just gonna have to show you.”

Johnny slowed his rhythm down, leaning down and kissing your neck gently.

“And how do you plan—to do that?”

“Like this.”, he smirked, beginning to thrust faster. He managed to go deeper, hitting your g-spot and causing your eyes to roll back in your head.

You were too stunned to speak, only a small trickle of moans escaping your lips. He chuckled, feeling proud of himself. He leaned down, bringing himself flush with your body before kissing your neck. It felt good to forget the worries of the world, only focusing on you both. Nothing else mattered at this moment.

“Fu—ck Johnny, feels so good.”, you managed to get out, voice slightly hoarse.

“I’m glad, baby. It’s supposed to.”, he smirked. “You know we could be like Reed and Sue—have a little baby of our own.”

Your eyes widened. “You’re kidding, right?”

Johnny’s smile faded slightly, his confidence going with it. “No?”

“And why would you wanna do that?”

“Because seeing Reed and Sue with Frankie—well, it’s made me think that we could have that too.”

You began smiling, giggling lightly. Johnny was slightly, confused trying to figure out what was going on.

“I just never pinned you for that.”, you finally said. “You’d really want a baby with me?”

Johnny smiled, somehow finding his rhythm again. “Yes, I would—I do.”, he stammered, correctly himself.

You giggled lightly, not used to seeing Johnny so flustered. It was cute, something else you loved about him.

“You wanna put one in me right now?”, you asked.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”, you confirmed with a smile on your face.

“I’d love to.”, Johnny responded, gaining his confidence back just as quickly as it had left.

He had no expectations that this conversation would go in this direction but he was glad it did. It confirmed that you really wanted a life with him. You really wanted him. It was cute that he was so excited about this. You heard Johnny could be a player, but he just hadn’t found the right girl he wanted to settle down with.

“You’re gonna be so cute pregnant.”, he groaned, his head falling back slightly.

“Uh-huh.”, you teased back.

“I mean it—cute little round belly. And knowing it’s mine—it’s going to be perfect.”, he smiled.

You began feeling that familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach. The one where you knew you were close—very close to a release. All that tension was building up and it was almost time to let it go. Johnny could tell you were close too—he knew you so well. Your eyes fluttered shut, fingertips sinking into his biceps.

“Johnny, I’m so—close.”, you swallowed hard.

“Cum for me, baby. I’m so close to cumming so hard inside of you.”, he breathed, voice shaky.

That was it. He felt your body tense up, your cunt tightening around his cock. You let out a string of moans and he tried to thrust but once you tightened around him, it was game over. He watched your orgasm overtake you, something he never got tired of watching. It was the small things.

“Fuck, I’m cumming too.”, he groaned as his cock began pulsing deep inside of you, the sweat evident on his forehead.

You felt his warm seed flowing deep inside you, causing you both to smile at each other even if you were breathless. This was it—you were really trying to have a baby. Johnny stayed there, making sure every last drop went inside you, brushing your hair to the side. He was caring, making sure you were taken care of every step of the way.

“Ready for me to pull out?”, he smirked, chuckling lightly.

“Yeah.”, you smiled.

Johnny pulled out, causing you to sigh at the loss of contact. He fell beside you, causing the bed to rock before he pulled you into his broad, thick arms.

“Now you just need cuddles.”, you felt his breath before he kissed your forehead.

“Yeah, that was amazing. I love you Johnny—so much.”

“I love you too. You’re everything to me. That’s why I want to protect you and this world. It’s my job to be your protector.”

His words made your stomach twist, causing you to pull back from him slightly so that you were staring into his blue eyes. “You are, Johnny. I know you’ll always protect me.”

“I will. I’ll die trying to protect you—and hopefully soon, our little one.”, he smiled, moving his hand down to your flat stomach.

The thoughts of Johnny being a dad drove you crazy, making your stomach ache worse. He was already so good with Frankie.

“You’ll always be our protector.”, your hand wrapped around the back of his neck, the other on his cheek.

“Always.”, he responded, you both sharing a deep kiss.

#joseph quinn #johnny storm #fantastic four #fantastic 4 #fantastic four fanfiction #eddie munson #joseph quinn character #johnny storm x reader

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dreamlikevening · 1 month ago

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🦌🍮🐩🍩

what do people think of your aura & social media persona ° ˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚

♡ claircognizance, cards, numerology, astrology, and music are my main divination methods

♡ meant to contrast the ego and confirm the intuition — i believe that sometimes we need reassurance about things that our mind can be a bit cruel and fictitious about such as our appearance. we all have a special touch to us and i hope to convey that to you in a way that reminds you of your true light, rather than distracting or swaying you into falsehood

♡ only keep what suits you, leave the rest to another soul that needs it

the image that makes your heart feel a little something—an extra sparkling— is yours <3

group 1 - your symbol is a deer 🦌

look out for this positive omen. hearing the word deer, seeing a picture of a deer, witnessing a deer physically, or perhaps it is a spirit animal to you.

a little channeled poem-quote from me to you! 💌

“move with grace and you’ll see,

that the words often said in your own mind

will set you free.”

you seem to belong to some sort of “sphere” or “clique” is what i’m hearing. it’s a group of sorts that feels a bit… superficial? it separates people, divides them and categorizes them in a sense. this could’ve been in the past. i’m seeing you like a deer in the headlights, you were put at the forefront of this group and it was not a very pleasant experience. somehow, you’ve handled it very well and possibly escaped from it. you may not even realize it because the initial shock was quite grand. ever since that experience, you may question if all people perceive you the way this group made you feel about yourself. and it feels like Less than what you truly are and what you offer to this world. so i’m here to enlighten you on how you really are seen— what your aura says to people. what it whispers. what it screams. the sparkle of it. “the symbols you wear” is what i heard? i wonder if you use a particular symbol a lot or have a tattoo that is on a very obvious part of your body, so it shows on your selfies and such. either way it’s a symbol you wear proudly and happily. a symbol that is very personal and important to you. i was thinking of a butterfly emoji, maybe butterflies are very important to you so you intentionally use the emoji a lot.

how are you perceived, really? wow, there’s definitely a very strong message being confirmed that you don’t believe a lot of the ways you are seen as. the first one i saw was the knight of cups. a romantic, someone who knows what and who they love. loud in love, loud at play. love always seems to be at play in your life. it’s 12:22 on the clock right now !!!! people see that you show very deep appreciation and love to your close friends and family. you devote yourself to giving them a positive life experience, through love. on socials you probably post pictures of your loved ones a LOT !! people may want to see more of you, but they find it endearing because you don’t seem self-centered. if you were to post more about yourself, people would celebrate it lol. you definitely don’t share a lot about yourself, you seem to be quite private or you are hiding yourself because of self-doubt and fears. i see a wound there, and i really hope this reading can remind you that healing is always possible EVEN when it comes to how you physically view yourself. you deserve to look in the mirror and feel full of love. i sincerely hope you’re walking that path of self-love, because if you’re thinking you don’t deserve it, you do. you do, you do, you do. you could perceive some of your features as “aggressive” or worry a lot about the symmetry of your face or that you have an RBF or you fear coming off as “mean”and tough. actually, you are more inviting than you think. your aura is quite warm. it is a bit intimidating but in the “you shine quite brightly” kind of way. and like you’ve got priorities and goals of your own that you’re chasing after. you have a willingness and drive that shows on your face, i’m getting your forehead. so you could have a very open third-eye. do you get lots of creative visions? a big imagination? the color blue speaks to you? lots of significant dreams? good memory? people sense that heavily. you may have sleepy eyes that are very attractive. for some, a love interest at some point in time really enjoys watching you sleep. you seem to just let it all go. all the heaviness you sometimes carry for others, it washes away in dream land and you look cute, haha.

your aura could very well be the color blue, or indigo. it may have a crayon scribble sort of texture to it, which gives off a child-like wonder energy. people see you as in touch with the fun and cute and silly parts of life and as someone that knows how to engage with people of all ages and varieties. different people likely interpret you differently than one another, but overall there’s something different about you. something people usually don’t see, and you wear it nicely. maybe a funky wardrobe with an aquarian touch. a one of a kind necklace. earthy colors or pictures of you in nature stand out, you look like you’re in your element. i’m also seeing your aura with a bunch of tiny light bulbs or little flickering golden lights around it. it draws in good energies and shuts out the bad ones. so try visualizing those little light bulbs around yourself when you are feeling heavy, exhausted, or anxious. and remember that light surrounds you constantly. your visualizations are VERY VERY important ways to establish your worth, so if you are working on bettering your self-esteem, picture yourself and visualize yourself in a way that feels suitable and full of positivity and confidence. it’ll do wonders for you!

thank you so much for being here group #1, keep moving with grace and i send you a lot of love. please feel free to share how it resonated 🧿💡⭐️

group 2 - your symbol is the pouch 👛

you have been a carrier of most everything in your life. across time you’ve carried berries, lipgloss, daggers, crystals, face powder, medicine, and the list goes on. notice that what you carry with you can add onto your energy when picked intentionally. carry things on-hand (such as charms) that feel protective, lucky, or precious in some shape or form. keep them in your bag or pocket when you go to the store or the park or a loved one’s home. and thank that little object for making you smile.

that was a channeled message spirit gave me for you, ok now for your reading!

first off, i’m seeing that people think you’re quite funny. i was getting you’re very creative with your schemes. like pranks or something. or outfits? but they’re not regular outfits? maybe like cosplay or costumes? either way, something creative about your garments. but it constantly changes over time. maybe you don’t have one fixed style or one fixed fashion approach. you just always switch it up. people take notice of that. your aura itself could have a lot of different colors. i just heard it probably is your favorite colors plural. regardless if you are interested in taking up acting as a career or not, you’re gifted in that sense. you’re very good at it. you could also be a very gifted at improv, screen and playwriting, and very witty. i thought of matthew perry and his natural talent at making very elaborate, quick, and good jokes that always land. there’s a lot here about quickness. maybe you walk very fast or you make a lot of things happen quite quickly through social media. i’m seeing someone post a fundraiser and immediately it starts seeing numbers. or you’re very quick to support others on social media. a high social climber is what i just heard. somebody here could be an influencer of sorts, a creator that makes videos specifically. films things. you’re good at capturing the color of life. you come off as someone who has millions of opportunities surrounding you. some of you may be a bit flashy. i’m seeing a very intoxicating smile lol omg, rihanna’s smile came to mind which is so random. i see darker skin, a tan. glowing skin, and wowww. i just felt like a throb in my chest and people feel this feeling in their chest when they see your smile and your pictures. it’s this radiance that i can’t even explain. i keep thinking of the sign of leo. prominent in your chart somehow? combined with scorpio? the word lethal came to mind. if looks could kill, yours Would. i wouldn’t be shocked if you had a bunch of secret admirers who think you’re too good for them. if you wear jewelry, it really suits you and makes you shine even brighter. but people see riches when it comes to you, they think you have many people at your feet (love interests), and that you’ve got yourself all taken care of. you could wear perfume that smells expensive to them. this whole energy is making me giggle because your aura exudes this golden, orange, sweet, playful energy that is just. enjoyable. i keep hearing laughter and laughter feels big. you probably make people laugh very easily. it could be nervously but mostly you’re funny. i’m feeling that sooo hard. i want to laugh by your side group 2 lol.

others think you move very fast in love, maybe that you have entered many relationships or that you make people and things Yours very fast. you grab onto what you’re attracted to very quickly and people are surprised and have lots of questions about that. i just heard something about a “crystal goddess”, not sure what that means though… i will say that your aura is appearing in my mind as this huge amber colored crystalline shape that is quite thick and covers you. by thick i mean that a lot of auras kind of look like they extend an inch around the person but yours extends like a good 3 inches. and it’s this beautiful orangey color like a big crystal always surrounding you. kind of looks like an iceberg.

group #2, that’s what i have for you!! thanks so much for being here and i wish you a wonderful rest of your time<3 feel free to share how this resonated, take care! 🍊✨💫🌟

group 3 - your symbol is the night sky 🌌

how often do you stare at the night sky and just breathe out into your space? spirit wants you to try this out one of these days and take note of how it feels. the night sky alleviates, the night sky holds secrets, the night sky makes wishes come true, the night sky is needed. the stars have messages, reminders, and a collection of dreams for you. look at them, talk to them, listen to them. inhale and exhale as you engage with the night sky.

now for your reading, group three!

initial messages; you show up everywhere even when people don’t expect you to or even want you to. people dream about you, hear your name everywhere, mistake others on the street for you, it’s like they can’t escape your energy. which makes me think some people have very strong feelings about you. desire and want are very big here. you are very wanted. and it may not be requited often— or even unrealistic for you. if you’ve rejected someone or left them behind, you still appear energetically in their lives. they’ll see reminders of you everywhere. this is interesting energy though because i can’t tell if you want it that way or not. you could have an inner battle quite often between wanting people to know your place in their life vs. wanting them to just move on with their lives. two things can be true, it’s okay to want to be remembered well by past relationships (romantic or not), and it’s also okay to hope that person no longer wants anything with you. if there is any wistful energy about how you want to be remembered by someone, try writing about it to yourself. write a letter (without delivering it) about your connection to those people and establish if you want to finally cut the chord, or if you still want to remain connected in some way, even at a distance. if you’d like to finally let go, write that letter with all your purest feelings, then burn it! this will help you clear out stagnant energy. anyhow.

people assume that you have no limits. that you can do anything and everything without feeling drained, [i just saw 1:11 on the clock!!!], sad, or worried. but you are not a robot. yes, you have this unstoppable energy about you. but you are a human with a body and you have energy that should be taken care of! but you are inspiring to people that way. because you always seem to be running, shuffling, working, hustling, doing Something of significance, people feel like they should be doing things as well. you make people think they should be working harder. you could be great at motivating others naturally. people admire that you seem to “get over” things quite fast. you could, in reality, take longer to process things but maybe the way you post things on your socials or the way you act makes it seem like you are able to “get happy” very easily after some sort of loss. the phrase happy-go-lucky came to mind. you seem quite well-off and together. your aura has this steady, rocky look to it. it looks like your aura has survived many lifetimes. it has been through a whole lot, and keeps evolving. you’ve experience landslides and volcanoes, and your rock remains intact. strong. you literally come off as unbreakable.

people really appreciate what you share on your socials. it could be very sweet and nice to hear, or very humorous. one way or another, your posts make people smile. it also really seems like you have a way of rejoicing in life. your deep appreciation for spirituality / the world really comes off, and it seems so meaningful and beautiful. actually, the truest version of you shines when you post things related to the spirit realm, life, personal growth, and other topics similar to that. smoky quartz could be an important crystal for you! feel free to search the properties if you feel drawn to it. also, mountains could be a specific symbol for you. also nature in general. you could be receiving a lot of needed and positive omens from the natural world in these days, look out for shooting stars, interesting plants, or random creatures crossing your path! they have a message for you!

group number three, thank you so much for being here! i send you so much love and light. take care and i hope to see you again!!

#h-aewo divider #tarotreading #tarot #intuitivechanneling #intuitivereadings #spirituality #oraclereading #channeled message #pickacard #pickapile #astrology #channeled reading #claircognizance #aura #divinely guided #tarotcards

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illnessfaker · 1 year ago

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tw: black+trans death

from the_yvesdropper on instagram:

our beautiful black trans brother, 35 year old Righteous Torrence "Chevy" Hill, was murdered in Atlanta, GA this weekend.

he went by his nickname 'Chevy' he was originally from Macon, GA. he owned Evollusion, which is a black/ queer owned LGBTQ+ salon in Atlanta that provided and dedicated full service to specializing in hair, nails, barbering and makeup. growing up as young black queer boys/kids, the barbershop experience can sometimes be a tricky space to occupy, this was something that Chevy understood and wanted to cultivate a space of safety where you can also get the affirming look and style you want, and he did exactly that.

Chevy was a beloved son, brother, partner, and father.

one of his last posts that had a photo of himself said :

"if you truly know me, you know i am a humble, modest, private man, that i love my community, i have the love of God in me and will give the shirt off my back to any soul in need, also i never post pictures of myself, legaey give myself credit, that stops today, i am my legacy!"

(a close friend of Chevy asked if i could share more then one photo of Chevy, since he never posted photos of himself and in recent years he got the confidence to want to share more photos and now he won't get the chance to)

Chevy, hey king, hey brother, hey angel, thank you for everything, i lové you, we lové you, i'm so sorry. there are a lot of photographers in heaven who will be able to photograph you as the glorious black trans angel that you are.

there will be a homegoing service/memorial for our brother

there aren't many details about what happened but apparently he was shot by a family member last wednesday, the 28th (at least this article was the one linked in relation to his murder.)

judging by both the IG post and the comments section he was well-loved by many people and those people have many good memories with him and nothing but good things to say. this is a comment that was left by tirajmeansgolden which was hidden by IG for some reason:

I started testosterone in February 2020. I hit this man up at the end of 2019 after numerous Google searches for an LGBT-friendly barber near me (and by near me... he was a good 35-40 minutes from the rural area I was in outside of Atlanta: but when I found out he was a trans man and that his business was the first and only LGBT hair bar, I knew it would be worth the trip). I was a dysphoric mess in his DMs one Sunday. I hated how my hair was growing out. I never had a "masculine" hairstyle before but decided one day I would buzz it all off myself, then allowed it to grow out a bit... I sent him a video and despite him being closed on Sunday, he told me to come through. I got my hair braided and he gave me my first really masculine fade. Explained the different terms. Lined me up. Was asking me about my decision to transition and provided some helpful advice + guidance. I told him how I was a therapist and he was hype and said he talked with a group of trans men and he would love for me to stop by and also give some mental health tips. So whoever said he was humble - wow, what an understatement. Such a community man! Made me feel SO comfortable because barbershops were a source of major trauma and triggers for me. They were such an integral part of my early transition (I just celebrated 4 years later week). And he was such an integral part of the Atlanta Queer community with hosting events like Queer Con. How I found so many other great resources + queer businesses/artists. May you rest in peace, Chevy. You'll be missed. You've made such a different in the lives of countless people. You definitely were living your Purpose + left a legacy behind ...

#op #rest in power #black trans lives matter #death -#black death -#trans death -#didn't add a tw to the top of this post at first. sorry everyone.

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lieslab · 2 months ago

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And I heard about the twister that lives inside your heart

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Felix X gn reader

Summary: You breakup with your boyfriend, unable to cope with your rapidly declining terminal illness, but he refuses to let you fight alone.

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 8k

Trigger warning: Terminal illness, stages of grief, hospice care, descriptions of the body shutting down and death.

A/N: This has torn my heart to shreds. If that's me, I can't imagine what you'll experience. Terminal illness is horrible and brings unimaginable pain to everyone involved. To the requestee, I hope this is what you were looking for. Please grab your tissues before you start, you'll need them <3

_ _ _

Feelings could be fatal. Felix knew that. You could call it naivety, but he called it love. Felix knew he loved you from the first day he saw you. The way the breeze flew through your hair and cherry blossom petals rained down behind you.

Your eyes scanned the area. You were searching for something and it certainly wasn’t the love of your life. When your eyes caught his, a soft pink flushed your cheeks. His freckled cheeks pushed up into a smile, two dimples appeared, and he gave you a brief wave.

Your own smile grew and you returned his wave. In those few seconds, he threw away the need to rush to the company building. They wouldn’t miss him for a few extra minutes. He introduced himself and you greeted him. Before he knew your name, he knew his heart was yours.

Such a cliche k-drama moment, he talked about meeting you all the time. Whenever he got the chance, he brought it up. Recounting the way the petals drifted towards your body, as if they were magnetized by your being, just as he was. The sunlight reflected in your eyes in a way that made your soul shine.

Some group members scoffed, shoving their fingers in their ears, waving him away, and throwing shots of disapproving groans. Not yet taken captive by their own lovers, they couldn’t stand such a cheesy romance. Other members felt the opposite way. A brightness when Felix’s head perked up. He spoke with his hands, gesturing and pouring out his endearment for you. People didn’t know Felix without knowing you.

Jeongin happened to be one of these members. He listened to Felix’s words about you non-stop. When Felix talked about the dates you went on, he took silent notes. If any member could pull someone and make them the happiest person on earth, it was Felix.

A walking ray of sunlight, hand crafted by Apollo himself. Embedded with charm and charisma. A whimsy childlike wonder coddled his heart and kept him young. Jeongin took note of that, too.

The cheesy pickup lines. The apology gifts for occasionally doing the wrong thing and hurting your feelings. The special presents, not for a specific reason, but just because he could. Because maybe, deep down, the tiny trinket of your favorite animal would look cute on your side of the nightstand.

He purchased you some of the things you talked about. The way your eyes always widened and your smile grew. Sometimes, you never fully pulled the gift from the bag all the way. Instead, you leapt into his arms, covering his face with kisses. Treating him with your very own personalized thank-yous.

Felix tried not to talk about you all the time. He knew things existed outside of you, but you were the love of his life. Life is full of beautiful things and you were one of them. He told the world about you.

From brief conversations with strangers, complimenting their outfits that you shared traits with, to showing you off on his arm at formal events. His heart stitched to yours. Smitten from day one, he thought you’d be his forever.

Jeongin grew used to this idea as well. So when he awoke to Seungmin shaking him and informing him something was wrong with you and Felix, on a starless night, he panicked. He jerked himself upright with tendrils of dark hair sticking up like he’d been zapped with lightning.

He shoved himself into a hoodie and slides. Each footstep that landed closer to Felix and Seungmin’s dorm, it brewed anxiety in his chest. You weren’t just Felix’s significant other, you turned into one of Jeongin’s closest friends. He cared about the two of you immensely.

A soft hand knocked on the outer oakwood of Felix’s bedroom door. “Felix? It’s Innie, please let me in.”

“Go away.” His voice seeped with sadness. “Just leave me alone, please.” A sniffle followed up his plea.

It killed him. The idea of his group mate and one of his brothers tucked alone inside his room, he hated it. He took a step forward, pushed open the door, and slid inside. What he saw caused his heart to drop.

Felix sat up in his bed with his white comforter tucked over his shoulders. His usual honeyed freckles sat red and swollen. Beneath his eyes, tears glistened over the tops of each cheek.

“Felix, you’re scaring me.”

“It’s over, Innie. It’s all over.”

“Huh?”

“They broke up with me over text. I don’t know what I did. They won’t respond to me. They left a long paragraph, stating they were moving away. What did I do, Innie?” His bottom lip quivered and more tears filled his eyes. “What did I do?”

“Lix…” His voice came out softly. He imagined all the things he could have done in a split second. A broken sob fell from Felix’s chest. With squeezed shut eyes, he tucked the blanket tighter to his body; trying to seek out the comfort your warmth could no longer provide.

Behind him, Seungmin stood silently in the doorway. His face fell from the news. The last few days, his brain tuned through the conversations with Felix. No fights. No bitter arguments. From what he remembered, everything had been working out for you two.

Jeongin stepped forward once and then again. He leaned forward, parading into the bed besides Felix’s body. Just as Felix did to him so many times before, he pushed himself closer to the broken man.

Occasionally, even the sun needs to experience the comfort and softness of the sky’s blanketing clouds.

~ ~ ~

On a grassy cliff, you overlooked the beach down below. Above you, seagulls squawked and squalled. They swarmed, desperate for food, but you didn’t have any. Nourishment for your own body was the last thing on your mind, let alone food for the birds.

Silky blue waves pushed white foam against the rocks below. You sent the break up message to Felix and then hit block. Some would call you a coward, but you called it love. Love is always dangerous and this one wasn’t much different.

For a few minutes, you teetered on the edge of the cliff. Not planning to jump, but rather reminding yourself you were human. You could feel the sea spray from up here. The squawks of life from above. The garbles and playful water splashes of the aquatic life below the crashing waves.

You existed somewhere in between at this moment. Somewhere between soaring high above the heads of everyone you loved and slipping beneath the gentle waves of the sea. Soft tendrils of bright green grass wrapped around your ankles. They tethered you to earth, a gentle reminder that you weren’t alone.

Life has a tendency to knock you down when life is going great. Just when you think you might get to soar, you’re a few feet off the ground and you’re dropped again. Another challenge. A new task and what will it result in? Do you manage to accomplish it with pride, or let it drag you off your feet and pin you to the ground?

Life felt that way recently. You and Felix were browsing apartments. Nothing too official yet, but just ideas. It had been the next step of your relationship. Eventually, marriage and a house. A family? You debated, but there wasn’t a solid conclusion. You never strayed from that truth until now.

You loved Felix with your entire heart. When you stayed over at his dorm and awoke to the constellation of freckles, you understood why people loved the stars so much. Patterns and small detailings in between life’s fine print. An entire secret that only few people understood and gained the grasp of.

Throughout history, multiple people found similar patterns in the sky. They recorded them, gave them names, and pulled stories from them. Felix’s freckles made you an astronomer in your own special way. With a single swipe of your thumb against his cheek, you could recall all the memories.

His freckles brightened on the sunnier days. In the winter, they paled. You hated when they were dulled over with makeup. He insisted they were still there, but you forced yourself not to reach up with a licked thumb and rub it away. His makeup artists hid them without a second thought. They erased history.

No matter how hard the next part of your life would be, you had to face it alone. As uncomfortable and unwanted it was, you vowed not to bring him down with you. You couldn’t and you wouldn’t.

You would not let Felix pull off his helmet and lose himself in the deep dark diagnosis of your terminal illness. Your satellites crashed. The spaceship nosedived. You ran on fumes.

Your brain screamed mayday, but your heart chose peace; death with dignity, even if it hurt.

~ ~ ~

Felix used to sleep peacefully at night. Now he jerked upright with shaky breaths. His arms reached out for you, squirming and grabbing in the darkness, he never found you again. The heartstopping realization that it wasn’t just a dream. This was real life and you were gone from his.

You blocked his number.

He showed up at your apartment door banging, but you didn’t appear. The door didn’t swing open. He tried to knock on the windows, doing anything he could to reach you through the white siding and aged bricks. You never heard. You weren’t home.

He moped. His teary face buried into the cold pillow and he screamed. Seungmin’s nights were busted open with the grief of his roommate. The first few times, he rushed into Felix’s room to settle him down.

It stopped the night Felix locked his door. Seungmin grabbed the knob, but it didn’t turn. Inside, his limbs kicked and tangled in the blankets. Sweat caused his t-shirt to stick to his skin. He shrieked, calling out for you, but you never came.

Even in his dreams, you never showed up. If it weren’t for the pictures of you in his phone, he might have assumed he dreamt it all. Your bright eyes and familiar smile. Your hands connected together like puzzle pieces. Where did you go?

He started to take his attention to the night sky. Restless and missing you, he dropped himself in front of his window. Star-filled constellations, the ones you compared his freckles to. What a privilege it was to be seen in nature.

When a glowing white orb swooped across the night sky, he weakly whispered your name. Nothing else mattered besides you. Where did you go? Somewhere beneath the blanket of darkness, you had to be drawn to something, or maybe someone.

Did he do something wrong? It wasn’t cheating. Arguments hadn’t occurred in quite a while. The two of you hated bucking heads and when you did, you were both sure to come to a conclusion, or pause the high-filled emotions to walk away for a break.

“You walked away, but you’ll come back, right? Come back to me, baby.” Moonlight reflected in his teary eyes. He clutched his arms around himself tighter, wishing it was you. “Just… just come back.”

He barely uttered your name before collapsing and burying a sob in his hand, trying not to awaken Seungmin.

~ ~ ~

It took a few days before you agreed to meet with Jeongin, but you didn’t go to his dorm. You couldn’t tell Felix about this. You didn’t want to tell Jeongin, but when he called you in a shaky voice, you knew he was crying. It broke your heart. If this was Jeongin, you couldn’t imagine how Felix must feel.

You texted him the address and waited inside the set of double glass doors. Behind you, a bright pastel yellow soaked the walls. Bright and happy colors to try and pull you away from your impending doom. You tried to stay positive, but gloom haunted these halls.

You sensed it on the first day you moved in. Assigned to a small room with an attached bathroom. A closet to hold clothes, a desk with a single chair, and a TV stand welded into the wall with a flat screen TV.

The lilac bedding mocked you. The sage green walls reminded you of life. All the lush green things you’d leave behind. The simplest things like the scallions topping your scrambled eggs and the color of your favorite body wash.

Those that were more prominent; soft grass beneath your feet, the earthy and warm scent of ozone when rain approached darkened skies, the towering green swaying in the wind when you looked up in the middle of the forest.

The staff tried to make the outdoors exciting. Black metal benches perched around the exterior. In the back, a garden adorned with flowers blossoming in every direction. Ivy grown arches you could walk beneath. Stone bird baths that bright birds dipped their heads in and shimmied their feathers, no matter the weather.

You grew to hate the birds. Their happy warbles, their chirps, and the way they could flutter away from their problems with ease. You wished you could be a bird, it’d be so much easier than this.

When you spotted Jeongin’s car pull into the parking lot and enter a space, you finally pushed open one of the glass doors to approach him. He slowly stepped out of his car, staring at the red-bricked building in shock.

“Why are you-”

“Living in a hospice center? Because I was thinking about pregnancy and bringing another life into this earth.” You weakly chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but Jeongin’s head shook.

“Why are you really here?”

“Because I’m dying, Jeongin.”

His face fell. You stared at him, taking in every small detail. The straight dark brows and half-moon eyes. Your heart would inflate with happiness when you made him laugh so hard, he leaned back and squeezed his eyes shut. As if shutting his eyes would make the humor disappear. Usually, it’d lead into more teasing and taunting. Today, an empty silence blanketed the two of you.

“What?”

“I have a terminal illness.”

“Terminal?”

“I can’t be cured, Jeongin.” You tried to smile and reassure him that you’d be fine, but you couldn’t get the corners of your mouth to lift high enough.

You pulled away from the people you loved because you denied it. Because maybe you couldn’t see their faces, feel their warmth, and go to bed at night, only for your brain to remind you that you’d be gone soon.

Terminal illness cannot be cured. Incurable. Irreversible. A punishment that nobody expects, but humans are doomed to fall victim to it, regardless.

When cancer riddles your body and leaves you broken.

When the brain’s functions decline and your cognitive ability starts to speed downhill like an olympic winter toboggan.

When disease infects a vital organ and tears apart the relationship it has with your body, it starts shutting down.

A variety of different kinds are out there. You just never thought it’d be you. Not at this age. Not at this point in your life. Not now.

You just started to live, but death is greedy. It takes and it takes and it takes. It is never enough. Death will never have enough. Hands soaked with blood and an engorged stomach full of souls and their fading warmth. Today, it looms behind you. Tomorrow, it steps closer.

Anxiety burrows and nausea builds, but we never escape it. There is no leaving this life without the help of death. Whether you deny it, or accept it, you denied it. Death is cruel and you learned it at a young age.

Family dinners grew smaller as it picked out family members. It took pets from the safety of the four walls that you called home. How do you live with the realization that you are meant to die sooner than most?

“You need to tell Lix. He’s broken without you. He’s miserable and-”

“I can’t,” you whispered. “I can’t do that to him and I won’t. He can’t know about this, Jeongin. This will destroy him.”

“It’ll destroy him more if he doesn’t know you’re suffering through this alone.”

“Innie...”

“Please, you-”

“Jeongin!” You snapped as tears burned in your lower lids. “I can’t tell my boyfriend I’m dying! I-I just-” Your bottom lip quivered. “I-I can’t! I can’t! I can’t!”

Sensing you were about to break, he reached out to steady you. That’s when your arms wrapped around him tightly. You sobbed in his arms, terrified of it all. What did you do to deserve this? How do you cope with the anxiety and accept that death is striding towards you without stopping?

Your own body, the thing saving you since birth, it’s not enough to shield your soul. Some higher power, some natural thing, it comes no matter what.

What a curse that your death came before your life could really begin.

~ ~ ~

The hospice center was imprinted on the inside of Jeongin’s eyelids. He couldn’t sleep. The nurses from earlier kept him up. How anyone found comfort by working with the dying, he didn’t know. People shouldn’t have to die, but they did.

Blocks away, you laid on your deathbed and Felix didn’t know. You knew, Jeongin knew, but not Felix. With each breath, the balloon of guilt grew. What if you died without Felix being able to say goodbye? It’d kill him. The guilt would drown him.

In a spur of the moment decision, he shoved off his blankets and pushed them off. He slipped on his slides, grabbed his car keys, and headed outside. On the way out of the dorm he shared with Chan, he dialed Felix’s number.

After midnight, Felix was half asleep at the window. Curled on the floor with a cheek pressed against the window seal, his eyes groggily opened at the sound of a vibration. He sniffled and sat up, swiping at the phone to answer the call. “Hello?”

“Felix?”

“Innie, are you okay? You sound worried. What’s wrong?” He sat up with a yawn. Brushing back his messy hair, he adjusted the phone to his ear when Jeongin blubbered. “What did you say?”

“I need you to come meet me in the driveway with my car in it.”

“Is something wrong?”

“You need to know something.”

“I’m coming.” He rushed into the apartment’s entryway and shoved his feet into his still-tied shoes. Jeongin hung up on him, waiting for his arrival.

He didn’t have to wait long. Felix appeared less than two minutes with his phone still in his hand. “Hey, are you alright?”

Tears pricked at Jeongin’s eyes and he shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I need to tell you. I called and talked to-”

Felix cut him off and stepped forward. “Really? They answered the phone? Are they okay?”

The words vacuumed from his throat. How do you tell someone you love their significant other is dying? You were back in a bed, surrounded by the fading souls of others, slowly dying. He shook his head frantically and pawed at his eyes with his sweater.

“They’re at a hospice facility. They said it’s a terminal illness, Lix.”

He couldn’t breathe. His dark eyes stayed focused on Jeongin. Through the dark, he reached out and gripped his wrist. “What kind of sick fucking joke are you playing, Jeongin?” He squeezed his wrist tighter, too afraid to face the truth.

“You’re hurting me,” he whispered. He tried to tug away, but Felix squeezed harder. “I can take you there. I’ll take you there right now. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t keep it a secret. I can’t watch you suffer. Neither of you. I-I can’t.”

“How long do they have left?”

“The doctors are saying three months at most.”

“What hospice place?”

“The one right by the catholic church on-”

Felix didn’t wait for an answer. He spun around and took off into the darkness of the night. Jeongin called his name, but he didn’t stop. You were dying and he didn’t know. You didn’t break up with him because you hated him, you called it quits because you were dying.

White street lights blurred through his tears. Each one put a spotlight on his silhouette. Cruel higher powers watched in mockery. What happened to God and prayers? What happened to prayers being answered?

He couldn’t breathe. The air in his lungs ran out back in the driveway. It came out in whimpers and pants for air. His throat suffocated. You weren’t meant for the earth to take back. The ground couldn’t hold you like he could. It wasn’t warm enough. You’d never be able to see the sun from six feet below.

Immortalization and praise. Paradise and pleasure. The family he’d never get to start. His legs pushed harder, he ran faster. The wind roared through his hair and he screamed your name in the darkness.

He wanted an outstretched hand. An explanation. A cure. Something to bring you back and keep you alive. He’d give it all up to save you. Whatever organ you needed, you could have his. He’d die if it meant you could stay alive. Anything you needed, he’d give it. He’d give his everything to keep you safe.

The heavy thumps of his heart, the ticking time bomb of yours. Every breath he took, another you lost. He ran in your direction, stumbling and screeching your name. You slept soundlessly in a dreamless sleep.

Near the end of the road, the curb caught his ankle. He jerked forward, shoving out his hands to stop himself. The pavement scraped and drew blood. God kicked him in the back, a reminder that not even the bravest and loyalist believers could stop his will from unwinding.

Shaky breaths turned into choked out sobs. A dog with no home. A lover with no life. You were everything to him. What happens when everything is ripped away? When the goals are jerked from the journal before the accomplishments? Your body withered away and yet, you still craved life.

Headlights shone behind him. He dropped to the ground defeated. His fingernails dug into the concrete and a sob escaped his throat. Familiar voices called his name. Chan got there before Jeongin.

He pulled up the younger member and tugged him to his chest tight. Felix uttered your name again, unable to stop the louder sobs. The current of life changed. The tides shifted and pulled you under.

You cannot always save the people you love, especially not in the snarling face of death.

~ ~ ~

In the morning, you awoke to something soft stroking your cheek. You mumbled Jeongin’s name, thinking he somehow stumbled into your room. Instead, you found the familiar eyes of your boyfriend. His lips quivered before they smiled.

“Hi, there.”

“Lix?”

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry. Jeongin told me everything and I’m not leaving you on your own for this.”

You couldn’t be mad. Maybe, deep down, you told Jeongin because you knew he’d tell Felix. It’d take the pressure off of you. You’d never be able to explain it in full detail without breaking down.

Perhaps, you’d been chasing your tail in denial because now that Felix was here, acceptance slipped between the two of you. A silent, but necessary evil. Neither of you could stop this ending. You’d try to do whatever it took, but people don’t leave hospice alive.

“I should be the one apologizing,” you whispered. “I was selfish.”

“You were scared. This is scary. It’s better to be scared together.”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you. I feel like I ruined you. I made you fall in love and now…”

“You could never disappoint me.” He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “I love you and you’re mine.”

“I love you, too.”

“Scoot over. I’m not leaving you here to fight this alone.”

~ ~ ~

You loved one another endlessly and it flowed effortlessly. Your love ended in a doomsday. Your time was limited. Felix took a hiatus, wanting to be there with you through everything.

You refused to let your terminal illness break you. The first two weeks, it almost felt like staying at a hotel, if you took away the staff members coming in to check on you. Felix stayed with you after purchasing an air mattress. He refused to let you be alone.

In the third week, he brought you a notebook and a pen. You stared at it with a raised eyebrow. “What’s this for?”

“I figured you could make a bucket list.”

“But I’m in hospice?”

“It doesn’t mean you can’t dream. I mean, they probably won’t recommend you go skydiving, but there’s other things you can do.”

He leaned forward, gently taking the pen from your hand. He wrote a bullet point and the words ‘fancy dinner.’ You glanced over and chuckled. “Really?”

“What? I’m thinking of something really nice. Whatever you want, just let me know. Steak? Sushi? Korean Barbeque? You just let me know and we’ll go.” He reached over, gently booping the tip of your nose with the pen, and placed it back in your dominant hand.

You glanced down at the empty stripes of notebook paper. A bucket list wasn’t really something you thought much of, especially now that you were in hospice. You bit your lip, wanting to think of something.

“I’ve got it!” You jerked forward, scribbling something out. “That’s what I wanna do.”

Felix’s face softened. “Really? You mean it?”

“A hundred percent. Of course, I mean it. I don’t know how. Not enough time, but I think if we-”

“We’ll figure it out.”

You nodded and your eyes met his. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning over and hugging you in a tight hug. A quick kiss to your nose, right where the pen tapped you. Your arms returned the favor. A soft sigh escaped your lips and you relaxed.

You’d be okay dying in his arms like this. ~ ~ ~

Death lingered, but you roared. Using what time you had left, you did it all. In a final trip at the grocery store, you and Felix argued over what flavor of milk was better. Strawberry or chocolate? It lasted nearly the entire shopping trip.

The two of you went back to his dorm. Seungmin went over to bother Changbin and Hyunjin. You’d seen the guys in passing, but you didn’t see them too much. They all grew fond of you. Seeing you now and knowing you’d be gone soon, it was a hard pill to swallow.

“You’re going to burn the vegetables!” You called over your shoulder.

“Hey! No, I’m not!” Felix laughed and stirred the multicolored veggies in the pan. “Shut up and focus on your own dish.”

“Telling a dying person to shut up is crazy work.”

“I didn’t mean it like that! Come ‘er!”

You let him grab your waist and spin you around. A dizziness settled over you. You smiled, regardless. His hands slipped to your hips and he gently squeezed. The fullness of your body melted away the less and less you consumed.

Your fancy dinner turned into a home cooked meal. Not that you were complaining, it beat hospice food. You were due to return there later tonight. Until then, you and Felix were up to your usual antics.

You teased him and he teased you. You playfully bumped into one another, careful enough not to cause accidents. Felix placed you in a kiss the cook apron. Every time he could, he snuck kisses on your bare skin. Not sure how much time you had left, he took advantage of it.

You squeaked and shivered as he pushed another soft kiss into the back of your neck. “You can’t do that! That’s cheating!”

He mocked you in a high-pitched voice. You spun around, reaching out to weakly grip his throat. You started to laugh, but it turned to coughing. The playful energy in the air ceased instantly.

“Easy, easy. I’m sorry.” He pushed your hair back from your face. “Deep breath in and out.” His other hand went to your back, rubbing it to support you. “Do you need some water?”

You nodded, a little embarrassed you ruined the fun. Just when you forgot you were dying, it came back to bite you in the ass. A brutal reminder that each second between the two of you was precious.

He gently squeezed your shoulder before walking away and heading to the cupboard. He grabbed a glass and you forced slow deep breaths. Your body shut down more and more as the days went by.

You could feel it. Your limbs felt heavier. Your body, more sluggish. Your brain became slower. Thoughts were on the tip of your tongue and then disappeared.

When he reappeared with a glass of ice water, he pushed it to your chapped lips. You tipped your head back and slowly sipped. It soothed the aching sides of your throat. For whatever reason, your mouth felt drier; an interior sahara desert that you couldn’t shake.

“Let’s take it easier, yeah?”

You hummed. He pulled the water away and sat it on the counter. You hated to admit it, but the hospice staff were right. They allowed you to venture out with Felix, as long as you were up for it, but warned you that as time went on, you probably wouldn’t have the energy.

All the extra oomph and fun on your bucket list, you had to make adjustments. Hospice staff wanted you checked in at certain times. You were supposed to be an inpatient. You assumed they let you slip out more than usual because you were younger.

Some of the older people were stuck in their beds. Heavy limbs, death rattles, and the faint whirring of oxygen tanks. Death wasn’t a constant thing. Some people had a few weeks and others were like you, they had a few months left.

Regardless, a hospice inpatient center wasn’t a good place for a rowdy couple still head-over-heels in love. You wanted to run. They lectured you. When you laughed too hard at something Felix said while a nurse checked on you, she shot the two of you an unamused glare.

Not because she was mean, but because she grew worried. All the laughing and screwing around, it wasted your energy. You didn’t want to conserve it. You couldn’t. Death was coming and your time was still limited.

“Felix?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I think we should do that last thing on our bucket list this week.”

He glanced back to look at you over his shoulder. His heart ached, knowing what that meant, but he nodded. “I’ll talk to the guys and we’ll do it.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Stop getting so sappy, you’re going to make me burn the vegetables.” He stuck his tongue out and laughed at you.

“You started it!”

~ ~ ~

Two days later, the two of you stood in thrifted outfits. You held hands out in the back of Chan and Jeongin’s dorm. The rest of the guys speckled around. Jeongin stood with a bible open. “I’m so glad I get to carry out my dream of becoming a priest before you die.”

“You’re welcome.”

The guys sat in a plethora of lawn chairs. Jeongin stood beneath a gazebo and glanced between you and Felix. “Are the two of you ready to begin?” The sun and the guys became your witnesses.

You nodded and Felix agreed. His thumbs slowly brushed along the back of your hand. Jeongin sighed and read off a random passage of vows he found online. “Do you take Lee Felix to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?”

Felix blinked rapidly, squeezing your hands a little tighter. You smiled and nodded your head. “I do.”

“And Felix, do you take-”

“Shut up. I do. Of course, I do. Lawfully wedded spouse, from this day forward, better, or worse, or whatever. In sickness and until death do us part. Blah, blah, blah. I don’t care about that part. I just want to kiss you.”

In the background, laughter appeared. Jeongin sighed and shut the bible. “Well, I guess I didn’t need that. Go ahead, you may kiss the-”

Gasps filled the air. You squealed. Felix wrapped an arm around you and dipped you down, causing one of your feet to leave the ground. When the warmth of his lips met yours, your hands cupped his cheeks.

Jeongin blinked rapidly, trying not to cry. A few of the others looked the same way. When Felix pulled away and placed you back on your feet, a warm and fuzzy feeling filled your heart. He grinned at you and booped your nose.

“Alright,” Chan clapped in the background and shoved himself to his feet. “It’s time to cook the lamb and sides. Who wants to do what?”

When you offered to do something, he shook his head and waved you away with Felix. “I think Felix wanted to discuss something with you.” He winked at Felix and spun around, dishing out roles to the other guys.

You glance back to find Felix. He smiled and grabbed your hand. “Yeah, sorry. I wanted to do the ring exchange away from everyone.”

“Oh, I forgot about the rings. That’s one of the most important parts and I-”

“It’s okay, I’ve got it.” He grabbed your hand and led you away from the guys and the grill. Across the way, he stopped in his and Seungmin’s backyard.

As carefully as he could, he pulled out a velvet box from his pocket and opened it to reveal two rings. Your face softened instantly. “They’re gorgeous.” The pair of rings sat snug between black velvet padding.

“I got us both rings with our birthstone colors. Mine is sapphire, but it doesn’t matter. You can either pick that, or yours. It’s entirely up to you.”

“I want yours. I want to take a piece of you with me to the grave.”

“Do you have to remind me that you’re dying so often?”

“I can’t let you forget.”

He playfully rolled his eyes, grabbed the sapphire jeweled ring, and slowly placed it on your ring finger. You picked out yours and grabbed his hand. You hesitated for a moment, noting how warm his hands were. Lately, yours has lost their warmth far too quickly for your liking.

“Hey, are you okay? It’s okay if you want that ring, really, it-”

“I’m okay. Just thinking.” You slipped the ring on his ring finger and held it up to the sparkling sun. “This fits you well. It looks beautiful with your skin tone.”

“And the band color matches. Look at us. We did it! Kinda. We’re married! In theory, that’s all that matters.”

You laughed and nodded. He reached out, cupping the side of your cheek. He kissed your forehead affectionately and pulled back. “Before we go back to the others, I wanted to read something I wrote to you.”

He pulled a folded piece of paper from the breast pocket of his suit and stepped back. “If you were to tell me our love story would end with you dying months ago, I would have laughed. I would have dubbed it absurd and moved on with my life. Over these past few weeks, my world has shattered, b-but-” He choked up. “You’ve managed to help me rebuild it in ways that I didn’t think possible.”

“I’ve always feared death. I’ve hated it. It’s sat on my shoulder and haunted me since I was younger. Out of the two of us, you’re the first to cross the rainbow bridge. I like to think that heaven is as big and beautiful as you imagine it to be.”

“Whatever happens, it must be good because people usually don’t return from death.” A weak chuckle fell from your throat and he continued. “But please know, you’re welcome to come back at any time. If you find out that you can haunt people, my house is always open.”

He didn’t dare look up at you. Not yet. “Our love is immeasurable for one another. I don’t think the spirit realm can stop it either. The devil can try, but I believe we’re untouchable and-”

He shook his head and wrinkled the ball of paper. “I’m sorry, it’s stupid. I should have worked better on it.”

“Nah, I’m glad you let me know I can haunt you. I’m going to take you up on that offer. Maybe try a ouija board or something? We’ll come up with a code word to let you know I’m okay.”

“Like?”

“Maybe a symbol, or something.” You shrugged. “I’ve always thought Monarch butterflies were pretty.”

“Monarchs it is.”

“Speaking of butterflies,” you reached down and took something from your own pocket. “I didn’t write vows because I couldn’t think of any, but I bought a disposable camera. I thought maybe we could take photos throughout today and the next few days. You can look back on them after I’m gone.”

“That’s really beautiful. Can I take one of you?” You nodded. He turned on the camera, stepped back, and adjusted the frame. When he found the right angle he clicked, lighting up your eyes with a bright flash.

“You’re a natural at posing.”

You stared at him for a moment. A halo of sunlight shrouded you. He wanted to remember this brief moment forever. Your eyes went to the ground before finding his “Felix?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to die,” you finally admitted. Tears filled your eyes. “I’m so scared. I don’t want to go alone.”

He leaned forward, shutting off the camera, and wrapping you in a hug. He pulled your head to his chest. “I don’t think you’ll be alone. It’s been documented that some people see their passed loved ones before they go. I think they’ll be waiting for you on the other side.”

“You really think so?”

“I hope so. I want to see my grandma again. If you see her, please give her the biggest hug for me, will you? She always gave the best hugs.”

Your arms tightened around him. Your head dipped against his chest. His heart beat rhythmically. A painful pang of envy cut through you and you hated yourself for it. It wasn’t his fault your body was giving up.

You sniffled. Tears soaked his suit, but he didn’t complain. He didn’t fight it. Instead, he gently placed the point of his chin on top of your head. His arms shielded you. You should have physically lived forever. His heart wasn’t the right place to carry your memory. He wanted you here forever.

His eyes went over to the side. A few yards over, the guys talked and laughed. This was hard on them too, but they tried not to let the two of you see how much it bothered them. Death was hard for everyone. It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that all these people he loved would be gone one day. Where would they end up? How? How do we keep going after the people we love are gone? Being human is such a poetic tragedy. So much beauty. So much pain. A chaotic mindfuck of emotions, too short and insufferably long; how rare and beautiful it is to exist.

“When the time is right, I’m going to come find you and hold you just like this,” Felix finally uttered.

“Promise?”

“Of course, I promise.”

“And in the meantime, you have to keep making good music. I’ll come back to haunt you. You should talk to me and tell me how life is. I’ll find a way to communicate, somehow.”

“I believe it.”

You pulled away from his chest and sniffled again. “Are we deluding ourselves?”

“Probably, but it feels better that way.” He pressed another kiss to the tip of your nose. “We should probably go before the food gets done and the guys eat it all. Changbin and Han would.”

“It’s not nice to throw them under the bus like that.” You took his hand and led him back to them.

“It’s true and you know it. After this? We’ll have some of that cake I made.”

About that time, Hyunjin came out of the back door with a square sheet of cake and a candle. Not yet lit, he slowly walked it over to the pair. The happy birthday song left his lips. Right as he nearly approached, he stumbled and slipped.

Gasps sounded and Hyunjin shrieked. He jerked upright with wide eyes. The cake crumbled into pieces. He peeked out from beneath the vanilla buttercream frosting on his face. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! I-”

“Why did you sing happy birthday?” You asked.

“I couldn’t think of a wedding song from the top of my head.”

You lost it. A giggle burst from your stomach. You laughed, curling down and clutching your stomach. Felix joined in and the rest hesitated. Changbin was the first to break into high pitched laughter, pointing at Hyunjin. Hyunjin threw him the middle finger and that broke the rest of them.

Han reached down, pulled a fingerful of cake from Hyunjin’s cheek, and put it in his mouth. “Wow, it’s still good. Great job, Yongbok. Hyunjin, uh-” He glanced down. “You should learn to walk better.”

“I’ll kill you!” Hyunjin’s dark eyes widened and a hand clamped over his mouth. “Wrong thing. I didn’t mean to say that. I just-” He got up and bowed to you. Cake crumbs and rich white icing slathered his face and suit. Feeling horrible, he wanted to disappear. When he bowed, bits of destroyed cake hit the ground.

You couldn’t be mad. None of you could. Nothing about this was traditional. It was one last party. A marriage. A celebration of life. It was everything tied all together. Later, your family and more friends were showing up.

Everything all at once because your tomorrow wasn’t promised.

You glanced over your shoulder, grinning at Felix. “Hey, we might as well take another picture and put that camera to good use.”

~ ~ ~

You died three days later. After that last big hoo-rah, you dwindled quite rapidly. You tried to put on a brave face for Felix and everyone, but he saw through your exhausted facade quickly.

For those three days, it was a lot of quiet conversation in the stillness of the hospice room. The sage green walls and the chirps of the birds from your open window. You shifted to watch them, unable to stand watching the television.

Everything ached. It didn’t hurt, it just ached, as if you ran an entire marathon without stretching and pacing yourself. IV fluids pumped you full of meds, trying to make the last bits of life as comfortable for you as possible.

Felix forced himself to harness peace in the moments of your sleeping silence. When your chest rose and fell, a sure sign you were still alive. He pushed your hair from your face, gently planting kisses on your colorless skin.

The warm color disappeared. As your illness strengthened inside you, you weakened. You tried to be the bigger person, hiding your fear, but on that last night, you knew your time was coming.

You curled up to Felix, unable to let go. You didn’t eat. Instead, you shifted to his chest, listening to the steady wallop of his heart. “Felix?” You whispered

“Hmm?”

“I think my biggest fear isn’t death itself. I think it’s leaving you behind. I gave you all my love for nothing. I feel like I gave you this burden.”

“You’re not a burden and this isn’t a burden. Don’t talk like that.” He wiped a tear away from your cheek. “You’ve been my greatest adventure.”

Your bottom lip quivered. “You mean it?”

“Every last word.”

You stayed entangled like that for hours until he had to use the bathroom. You were half asleep, drifting away. He kissed the top of your temple and then your nose, promising to be right back. It only took a few minutes, but it was long enough.

When he came back and shifted you, he jerked back as if he’d been slapped. He sprinted away, calling for assistance. The pastel yellow walls mocked him. Tears filled his eyes as he explained the situation to one of the nurses. The stillness and fading warmth of your skin.

In your final act of mercy, you waited to go until he was tucked safely in the bathroom. He didn’t see the way your sleepy eyes followed him into the bathroom. Your breath caught in your chest after he shut the door. You couldn’t get it back, but you didn’t panic.

Your body filled with helium. You floated. One last final gasp and your eyes drifted shut. A soul laid to rest, slipping to the other side, and diving into the sympathy of warmth.

You left the world knowing you were loved and even if it was short, that was the most important part.

~ ~ ~

At the funeral, the heaviness wasn’t as bad as Felix expected. Of course, he missed you. They all did. Maybe it hurt a little less because they knew it was coming. He stole as many kisses as he could. The next would have to wait until he joined you on the other side.

He blotted his eyes as the preacher spoke. In the cemetery burial, he spoke to your loved ones. Sniffling and teary eyed, Jeongin stepped up beside him. “Felix?”

“Yeah?” He glanced over his shoulder.

“Why does death have to be so hard?”

“Because it can’t live. It takes lives because of envy. It tries to capture and cage something it can never obtain.”

“I miss them.”

“Me too.”

He pulled a white rose from a vase and approached your coffin. Jeongin tagged along behind him. Felix stepped up first. He glanced at the stained wood, hoping that wherever you were, you finally found peace. He placed the white rose in the center of the coffin.

Before he could speak, something tickled his hand. Glancing down, the fluttering wings of a monarch butterfly. Tears welled in his eyes immediately. “You missed me so much, you came back this quickly, huh?”

Behind him, Jeongin peered over Felix’s shoulder. “Is that a monarch butterfly? What is it doing here? It’s too early for monarchs.” He stepped forward and slowly eased his rose next to Felix’s.

“It’s them,” he whispered. The wings flapped again and went to the edge of his suit. He blinked wet eyes and smiled. “I love you.”

Just as Jeongin was about to remove his hand from the coffin, Felix gasped. Jeongin’s head turned and his eyes widened. On the tip of Felix’s nose, the winged creature sat unbothered.

“Woah, didn’t you used to always kiss their nose?”

“I called them my butterfly kisses.” Silent tears trickled down his cheeks. “They came back. One more kiss before they go.”

I love you, too.

After a few more seconds, the butterfly flapped its wings and took off. Their eyes followed it higher and higher into the air. They exchanged another look and Felix smiled. He chuckled and wipe away falling tears

You might not be there in person anymore, but you’d always be with them in spirit.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

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